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You grab my card?
Thank you
So you think his uh highness will be joining us on time today?
Don't fucking count.
Okay, put mine back too put mine.
Hey, dickhead wait up.
You've got to be kidding me I don't know what's worse the fact that you dog-ear your books
or Darth Maul being your favorite sith lord.
Whoa Darth Maul is my homeboy first of all and he is extremely marketable and he is the
sole reason that the phantom menace was so successful and secondly, I'm addicted to the
written word, not the pages they're written on.
All I'm saying is that you should have more respect for the well-being of books especially
since you want to be a writer.
Yeah, a screenwriter i am not a novelist.
There's no difference my friend.
Time will tell I suppose.
Speaking of which how's your screenplay coming along?
Really well as far as the being done portion.
That's great!
Good god, I have just put so much blood sweat and tears into that puppy finished it off
feel good about it wrapped it up in a little package with a bow sent it off to la for that
big old competition, I was telling you about gonna be famous in no time.
And this is the sci-fi one that you were telling me about? Yeah,
Correct where people are born with the superhuman ability to steal memories from
these jerks and then use them to thwart crime.
Sounds right up my alley I'd love to read it sometime.
Yeah?
Yeah, toss it over.
I will toss you a pdf as soon as I leave the office that's awesome oh actually uh before
I leave too I wanted you to see this uh monster truck driving over this family of seven.
pretty cool
"Music Plays"
So uh you know let me ask you how much longer do you think this place has?
I don't know man I mean I just assume you're looking forward to sitting on your ass and collecting right?
What the fuck are you talking about I do more work here than anybody else okay I'm like
the fucking king of paper your royal highness of this paper palace.
Yeah, this place is a real palace...
This place would fall apart if it wasn't for me there's gonna be a statue of me one day
in the parking lot, I'm talking about my heroism here.
Talking about your heroism you despise this place.
Ha, I don't despise this place I love this place you see my problem is the people that I work with
you know those cunts over in the office see my dream is to just
take them and put them in a room and just watch them tear each other apart piece by little piece and then.
What a dream to watch that unfold.
you know I would believe that I really would and I want to but the problem is, is that it's
coming from the same guy who just last night posted on his Facebook I am a giant ball of
warm snuggly love dot dot dot yeah that was weird.
Yeah...was..... You said...that....
Yeah...was weird it wasn't that it was weird that's what your sister called me after I fucked her.
Real mature!
Oh, please..oh I'm immature
"Music Plays"
Oh yeah....That's the money maker.
"Music Plays"
What the fuck is this? Why aren't you at the machine?
Apparently, I'm not allowed to do my job until I fix everyone else's mistake such as the
fucking day crew.
What.. the hell happened?
Oh, those geniuses they went and put the Walgreens ad into the comics you know that supposed
to be in next week, not this week.
Yeah, a bunch of fucking meat sacks.
Apparently, you know it's everybody's first date but it's not even necessarily their fault
because you see robbie's the one that set the machine up he's the one that basically
told them what to do and they're obviously just going to follow him like a bunch of mindless
sheep so...fuck me I get to sit here and fix everybody else's mistakes while they get to
go home and enjoy the rest of their evening.
Now you got to go through and take them out by hand huh?
Yep, one by one all by hand, and well good news is you get to join me Robbie was looking
for it earlier I was going to tell you that uh yeah we got to do this together I told
him you were off you had to take a big shit or something so he said once you got back
though jump right in.
Wounders never fucking ceases to amaze me here.
So uh what are our numbers for the machines like tonight?
Tonight we got 23 grand on the sun 10 grand on the sentinel.
They lowered it?
Sure did everything on computers these days.
Jesus, you know when we started here we're getting 50 grand alone on the sun
That's when we started here not anymore.
I'm gonna be out of jobs.
The good news though for you at least I guess is less newspapers means you have more time
for your Xbox.
Papers mean's less work means less paycheck which means less new Xbox how's the man supposed
to breathe with less new Xbox you barely even afford to buy an Xbox game as is already
Touche man.
"Reading News Paper" I'm gonna get boys????
Hey
Where's uh broski?
Ah...Probably what I'm planning a terrorist attack.
Yeah I think on this place as a matter of fact
All this time I thought you guys like working here?
Well, it's kind of hard to work here when we have asshole co-workers who fuck everything up for us all the time.
Come on guys think of it as a character-building exercise once the third musketeer gets here it'll be like a party
What the fuck is this character building exercises?
It already feels like a party I don't even understand why we need him?
We don't need him just takes two the..... Personally....
Two of us are equal to a party Yeah exactly.... Jesus....
I tell you that guy though he's the laziest fucking supervisor I've ever dealt with.
It kind of makes some badass?
That makes him badass? Badass...
No, you think him not wearing a belt makes him a badass how is he being
A lazy piece of shit a badass?
You know I don't know what it is about no belt but there's
just something about it that just like adds to the character because like a belt anybody
can afford a fucking belt.
Adds to the character what is it what you guys can fucking character
all the time the fact that matters he's fucking lazy he's leaving us to do all the work
like the little minions that we apparently we are it's not fair man.
To be honest with you
I'd probably be doing it too if I were him..
What's that leaving all the work for your minions?
Yeah it's the benefit of being a big wig that you could just shit on people and
you know it's fine.
You got a warped sense of logic man...
Do you think Garfield's ever wanted to fuck normal?
No, it's his cousin, dude, that's gross...
Well, he's a cat...
Broski!!! There is my favorite shit supervisor hardly working, as usual, I thought you didn't
even have work tonight, ah you know hey come here I want to show you something you're in
the desert its night you fall asleep next to your camera where would, you rather spend
the night with the camel or in the palm trees under the palm trees why would you stay either
place your dumb shit when you can go around the corner sleep in the oasis okay so there's
a corner in the desert unbelievable see this is why you have it all figured out my man
and you need to write a book because I actually read it you know how to read I do know-how
to read yeah I'm a real Charles fucking Bukowski no idea what that is either it figures
you know i'll write a book and you'll be the protagonist you know and you'll be the guy
who is always showing up late and leads by example they say I'm a bad influence I didn't
know i could play a character in a book either you know what i got a perfect title for you
yeah procrastinators unite Hahahah haaa.........
tomorrow
maybe just maybe I'll get to live to see
tomorrow...
Jesus fucking christ it's about damn time you know we've been waiting on you we're gonna
start without you what the hell took so long are you indulging in your self-defeat we don't
have any time to waste.
Jedi knights! Haha!
God damn son, aren't you too much for me dog. I'm the best.
Jedi knights well I believe it is time to doctor shipping the hangar don our robes and
convened by the knights of the round table there is much to be discussed I feel as though
master rails has a valid point about another uh 20 minutes guys back to the cotton fields
boys.
Realistically what do you think Robbie would do if he caught us up here realistically he'd
probably be pissed that we don't invite him considering we're smoking this super dang
stack baby boy are you gonna pass that shit or what
oh hey by the way how's that internship going it's actually going exceedingly well I couldn't
be happier oh shit there's the next tip and Spielberg right here boys I'm telling
you, I appreciate that bro if I could just get the rest of the world to adopt that mindset
I would be golden grams. No doubt in my mind bro you'll get that player you know what they have to
do with that uh internship anyway I mean i mostly just pop squats and read screenplays
do coverage on them. What's coverage? I mean essentially it's just a short detailed analysis
of the whole product so that the higher-ups don't have to do all the work themselves I
mean if you got good enough coverage then they're compelled to actually read the entire script
You need to tell me that the interns the first people to read the scripts?
Generally...yeah lowly unpaid interns. Yeah but if you think about it though that actually makes
sense because you figure right if you're like run-of-the-mill joe schmoe kind of person
if they're not interested in it why is some big-budget Hollywood producer gonna waste his time on it.
Precisely.... That's pretty tight, man I can dig it.
Hey so uh what are the chances are you getting a job with those guys?
it's funny you ask because something crazy happened to me the other night when I was leaving the office.
Oh snap Jedi knight has his foot in the door baby Tell us the fucking details.
Ooooo, here they come all right all right well
God.......
Unbelievable... Idiots...
You're really willing to do anything huh kid?
Yeah..
how about a real job?
No fucking way...
Yeah I swear pulls me into his office he's like if you're gonna go around cleaning up other people's messes that's
The kind of guy I want work for me I make messes all the time and I need somebody to clean them up so I was just like
I couldn't believe it.. He made the mess it was just waiting for me to take the bait!
God damn son, some pop that collar check you out.
That is pretty nice man, so when do you start though?
Well, I don't have the job yet per se they have an interview process going on tomorrow with a few other people.
Yeah
uh but the guy's totally cool like really awesome and laid-back and just chill and I could totally kick it with this dude on a Sunday and watch some..
This dude sounds dope man that's big man it's right there.
and we're talking the la office which is in la California so it's gonna be awesome.
yeah that's killer I mean you know getting that interview that's the first step we all know you're gonna nail that I think if I get out of this shithole.
Thanks, guys I appreciate that and that's the plan.
Yeah man crush the interview then I saw it to Los Angeles which I mean, you want to be a screenwriter and last I heard that's the place to be.
That's what everyone keeps telling me.
Hey, that's what he said I'll drink to that.
Sure....
I mean really it's just been downhill ever since they gave women the right to vote
Look wedding showers used to be just for girls now all of a sudden we got to go to them remember I got mine on Friday
ooooooooooooooooh dude.......
Remember the wedding shower Friday?
Yes Friday is the dentist appointment so sorry I gotta get the
back of my teeth looked at
I'm sorry dude it's just the dentist called me last minute was like how much do you like
How much do you like your smile?
I said a lot.
and look at your face of course I'm going I just took the night off tonight got coverage.
so you're just fucking with me right now absolutely...
Oh my god you're unbelievable you're gonna be there though
you're my bottom bitch rich I'd never do that to you
You know I hate it when you call me that
you love when I call you that.
well listen man I mean I'm not gonna miss you in Bethany's wedding shower it's like I can't believe you guys are tying the knot.
Well yeah, it's only been seven years I figure at this point I kind of owe it to her. mm-hmm.....
Definitely Glad we're gonna be there. You bet....
All right well I gotta go dump I'll see you later.
Yo master Gus get over here boy
What's good? dog? What's going on player how are you doing?
Right man.. Now yo man I wasn't gonna do this considering I already got a fish on the line
I'm gonna give this one to my main man
God.....you and your fish is on the line I don't know what kind of bait you're using and who these fish are but it's blaa
It's unbelievable I mean it's got to be some innocent girl that I've heard of before that you're luring into your lair
Nah later baby boy today's all about you
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Peep game kid all right... now we got some fresh meat up in the building I don't know how Robbie did it
but she's fucking total knockout I'm talking about drop-dead gorgeous too gorgeous to be working here man
we never have hot chicks working here how am I just finding out about this now nobody bothered to tell me
well I'm telling you now all right now consider this your gift forgetting that west coast game
ah I feel like I actually have to get that job before I start getting gifts but thanks
well consider this your poo platter
hmm poo poo for two
yeah check your boss check check
oh my god baby got back holy shit I like that....
I mean it's a gift from the higher gods
higher gods
you know what time it is right?
tagged it.. and bagged...
big shit popping.... and little shit stopping....
oh hell yeah you do black for me bro you threw black for me I am ...
you go ahead and show me how the Jedi master due.
She put the whole thing in her mouth all of it it was so....
oh hey hey Dev get over here I forgot to introduce you this is uh Ellie
she just started working here she just started working here.
Hello...
How come you haven't brought this one around before?
Dale's not really you know the kind of guy who well...
Whoa, Whoa, I'm sorry?
To the club.
Am I missing something? you two know each other?
Yeah dude this is the girl I was telling you about from a few weeks ago.
Oh.... so Louie did mention me huh
No shit... oh.. he did mention you yeah he was talking about this girl that he met while he was uh down at that weird club
stuck in all those cage dancers, he goes to once a month in Boston.
Must be talking about bite my favorite club...
The club is actually called bite I mean does that name allude to anything in particular?
Oh it implies more than you could imagine.
Hu...I bet the cage dancers and all......
Yeah man the place is pretty hot I've been telling you about it so you get to meet some pretty cool people like Ellie here
and you look perfect for a cage dancer too I mean wow that came out wrong.....
I'm not implying you're a slut or anything....
Oh, I didn't take it like that.
but then again not that cage dancers are sluts I'm sure they're all really loyal girlfriends and wives and stuff like that
uh, I'm usually not this judgmental and stupid......
oh, it's completely fine I mean most of them are sluts anyways I only go to those clubs for the drinks and the people..
Ah, good looks so I guess I can start calling you mistress Ellie?
You can call me whatever you like
Jesus christ......
Except for that...
Oh..... we all have our, limits... we should probably all get back to work you know how Robby gets a little pissy on nights he's not technically
supposed to be working so you know.
I ain't that the truth no one likes a pissy Robbie.
It was nice meeting you Ellie.
I'll see you later.
Hopefully not too much later.....
My god, she is a feisty one I mean and she's really not a cage dancer.
She's got a dirty sense of humor I thought you'd appreciate it.
I mean I think appreciate is an understatement
What's not to like about a girl who speaks sarcasm fluently.
Oh? you think you maybe start coming to clubs with me now?
Not a chance...
Oh, it's worth a shot I mean.
I appreciate all the invites and..... it's like the whole nightclub thing just isn't my scene.
Dude it's a filmmaker's gold mine all the crazy shit that goes on there those fucking people are crazy you're missing an opportunity of a lifetime.
Yeah, I hear that but why go to them when they're clearly coming to me?
Okay, cowboy just make sure you get to her before Terrell does.
Oh, he's already giving me the green light....
Oh, he doesn't have an um wow fuck what does he always call.
A chicken in the bucket...
Yes, that is it..... Yeah, fucking Terrell.....
I heard my name..... I heard my name.
So, was the uh the force strong with master Gus just now?
Aahhhhhh..... Baby steps my young apprentice baby steps....
All in good times..... Baby steps okay.....
All right... all right.... I'll feel you... I'll see you player...
He, be taking the road last travel by it's my man right there.
and that is all that matters...
Well, you know where's the movie director himself 'Snaps Fingers': .......That's a wrap.
Can't get enough of this place huh?
Just waiting on a ride.
Are you sure they're coming?
Hope so or else I'm going to be walking.
I'll stick around just in case.
That's pretty bold of you..
What is?
Thinking you're allowed to sit next to me.
yes, but you do not mind.
Oh, really am I that transparent?
Actually, you're exceptionally difficult to read.
I just figure that you're the type of adventurous that doesn't mind trying someone new.
Because I like to watch cage dancers right?
Something like that....
but, I told you the only reason I go to those clubs is for the drinks and for the people.
and I think that that is total bullshit.
oh yeah....
Yes, absolutely.
You're not just like going into those places to be all cutesy and wear a fun little outfit
and order a martini with a lemon slice in it you're going there because you have this dirty itch.
and it needs to be scratched.
Are you implying that I'm curious?
Yes, but not in the way that you would think.
Enlighten me....
humm.... You're looking for someone who..
is equally as crazy as you, not over-the-top psycho bullshit.
I'm gonna pull out the whips and chains on you kind of crazy
but just like a nice peaceful amount like the icing on top
someone, that is a little fun a little sweet not too addictive
and not going to drive you down all the wrong roads
that kind of crazy.
and how would one go about finding this particular type of crazy?
seems pretty hard to track down?
you just gotta look for the signs I mean they're always there but they're subtle
and I feel like if you dig deep enough you can find anything or anyone
it's a pretty positive outlook
I know I like to think that there is a silver lining in every dark cloud,
Yeah you know you're right sitting down next to me without permission engaging in small talk trying to act all smooth
now that's what I call the perfect type of crazy.
You know that brutal sarcasm only scores extra points with me toots.
When did I say, I was being sarcastic?
Exceptionally difficult to read indeed
but the adventurous type nonetheless.
the bold type
the perfect type
of crazy.
Well, I'm infatuated.
All right miss adventurous, it looks like I'm giving you a ride home.
What type of ride are we talking.
Oh my god, Jesus Christ, Louie was not kidding.
What did I say about calling me that..
In all fairness, you..... said that I could call you whatever I wanted.
Except that....
Okay!.... big dead guy on the cross is off the limits gotcha...
Watch it I am religious.
My god you get offended when I take the lord's name in vain but cage dancers fits into god's plan on the weekends?
you're definitely some type of crazy...
The perfect type right?
Time to put that to the test.
So you working tomorrow?
Yeah are you?
I'll be there.
Cool...
This is you right?
You want to come up for a few?
um I want to but I got a big interview tomorrow well technically today so I should really get home and get some sleep-a-rooney.
What time's the interview?
Two o'clock
You're shitting me right now?
I'm not shitting you 2 p.m you're familiar with how time works.
So come up for a few and then you can go home and get your precious beauty sleep.
See, I can't trust myself with the whole a beer thing I'm always just raking them in and having a party so...
Probably some other time yeah?
Don't be such a poon.
You called me a poon... I mean you said you wanted to so just come up for a few.
Don't deny yourself the simple pleasures in life it's just a beer.
"Debating" .....All right a beer I'm holding you to it.
I bet you well
What the fuck is this?
Shit....
Oh, that's okay and you don't have to put your clothes back on.
In fact, never wear them again okay. Yeah................
Do you know what time it is?
Who cares? go back to bed.
I'm serious do you know what time it is?
This, this is not okay but this oh this is more than okay.
Jesus christ...
Say that again and i'll rip your dick off.
Okay.....
Nah, miss him too much come back to bed.
Holy fuck it's 1:30pm.
So?
I have a fucking interview at two o'clock.
Chill out psycho you have a half-hour.
It's 40 minutes away this is like the most important job of my fucking life.
You should have woken up earlier...
fucking god damn it shit... fuck....
Dalen, looking dapper kid what's the occasion?
Thanks uh hey Athena uh is mike still in?
Mike uh no uh you just missed him he left maybe 15 minutes ago.
uh...... why what's up?
I, um well I sort of had an interview at two.
Oh, my god you were his third interview today.
I was supposed to be oh no why are you so late you know how punctual he is.
I know and uh well i know it's it's totally my fault.
We just had like there's a couple situations. when my... my family emergency kind of happened
and everything just sort of went haywire and usually, I'm a lot more on time.
I'm sure he'll understand. I just feel really bad.
um, he told me he already made a decision before he left the office.
Oh, okay so like a decision so all right well thanks athena...
Um, I got some errands and stuff. I gotta run this afternoon so, uh...
You have a good day you look really nice.
I like that shirt.
All right I guess you're already the master on pro wrestling and star wars and uh resident evil and all that other gay ass shit.
Exactly! I am fully aware, hence the aspirations to be an expert in all that is pop culture and nerdy.
You're never getting your dick wet again.
I'm sure I've come up with some sort of a wetness system.
Yeah, I'll come up with an irrigation system for my pubic region if I have....
All right, it's my turn. lay it on me.
Ask me anything?
All right? the most fucked up thing that you thought as a child but then learned as an adult was not true.
Oh, I got a good one. I was like seven or eight
and I started watching horror in action movies for the first time and I
Thought that like when a character died on screen that the actor must have also really died.
I said the most fucked up not the most retarded thing.
What you never thought something like that yourself?
So, you never saw a movie that had the same actor in it more than once and thought?
Like wow, he died in the last one how was he just walking around in this one? hmm, that's strange?
It's pretty presumptuous to think that I would see two movies with the same actor.
I don't know that's common sense even if you're a child but I wouldn't bother starting to think about it now.
Yeah, well fuck you.
Oh, oh,.. that's original suck my balls. What's up you lazy dicks.
It's all this ball-sucking talk we got going on here.
Just talking about what I'm going to do to your wife on your wedding night.
You guys are driving me crazy right now because look I can't even handle planning
this stupid wedding let alone go into the damn thing at this point I'm ready to just kill myself
It was always an option.
Dude if I was you I would have shat in my pants in public by now. I don't know how you do it?
Yeah, I've been there done that.
I got some plastic wrap that needs happening, so you guys don't do turds.
Hey you know what don't listen to him if you don't treat your pants twice a year you're not living life hard enough
or going to chipotle enough.
I should put that on a t-shirt.
I got a twitter for it.
No one would buy that shirt. You would buy that shirt.
Jesus chris......t hi...
Hey, you've been avoiding me?
No, um.. no I've just been kind of in like a weird mood I guess, and saving you the strange behavior.
That's very generous of you but you don't have to hide anything from me I can always make you feel better.
You don't have to be distant ever okay?
I'm just not used to all this is all.
Used to what?
The attention although i'm not really that mad about it.
I find that very hard to believe?
No, I'm actually being pretty serious.
You're being serious? Seriously, I mean look at you your fucking eye candy dude
and the way you walk oh don't get me started.
Okay stop...
Why?
Because you're making me wanna and you know we're here so....
Does he want to come out and play?
Can't possibly do this here.
Don't deprive me
I'm depriving...
You're something else you know that.
whoa whoa, hold up.
Yes, mistress Ellie?
That's more like it here call me later.
You just carry around a tit number all the time because you got to give it out?
Only to you, but seriously give me a call later.
I feel really bad about what happened last night and I want to make it up to you.
Don't even worry about it it was my own fault.
I just loved to drink I can't believe we drank a fish tank full of margaritas.
That is unbelievable.
I know I still haven't found the fish....
Yeah, that's probably bad we killed animals that night oh my god.
Well I mean I still feel bad about your interview so give me a call we can hang out tomorrow?
I've made peace with it and actually tomorrow is my day off but I have plans.
You are avoiding me.
I'm not avoiding you I have to go to um
Rich, he's gonna he's got one of those wedding showers I gotta sit around and watch him and his fucking fiancee open gifts.
because I'm the best man.
Who's rich?
Rich fuckin um he's like that sexy little bald guy with the glasses that kind of
sachets around this place very like George Costanza looking
route 60 rich he's the one who got hit on the tractor on the highway.
I saw him earlier talking to Louie.
We'll make an appearance tomorrow and then call me?
I'll see what I can do no promises.
I'll see you tomorrow Maybe.... You have my number now there's no excuses.
Oh, I just lost it.
I have another one.
Oh, sure help yourself fatty.
Thank you I did.
okay let me ask you what do you really think about Bethany?
Bethany........
You know uh Rich's fiance woman he is gonna marry.
Yeah I know Bethany is, Asshole....
What's up with you? You're all weird lately.
I just got a lot of shit on my mind I guess.
oh, how better interview go?
Don't want to talk about it.
That good hu?
Unfortunately, I did not make it you make it.
You didn't make it to the interview?
Nope and when I did get there one of my supervisors had said that he already made a decision anyway.
This is juicy shits dude I'm sorry to hear that but why didn't you make it?
I was with Ellie.
During the day?
I slept over.
oooooo...... who has got a fish on the line now man.
Terrell's gonna be so excited about this he's gonna be proud he's gonna be a proud papa.
Hey, wait....... let me ask you to uh stick it in her?
Yeah from what I can remember...
Time's never wasted when you're busy getting wasted man you fucked Ellie it's so hot.
Yeah, I was there I know.
Wow just can't believe that you've fucked Ellie that's just.... my mind can't.
but it didn't come without a price I mean I essentially destroyed what was a golden opportunity for me.
all right sweetheart calm down i'm sorry that the job didn't go your way but
people get jobs all the time you could be a store manager of a home depot one day all right
that's just as good jobs any so you know just don't worry you fucked a hot girl and that's what matters you got your dick wet.
I'm aware don't care.
Jelly you, got up all in that Ellie
Never say jelly ever again please...
Bro, would you smokers for that shit though.
oh my fuckin god....
Dickinson's will always be the better brand.
Dickinson's guy hu?
All right well let's get this over and done with.
Jesus christ what the fuck are you doing you know he's gonna notice you're not around in there.
Honestly dude how many times have I covered for you in the past just cover for me this one time.
I can't really control him looking over at our frigging table and seeing you're not next to me.
Who gives a shit just to tell them there was some kind of emergency make something up it's not fuck quantum physics.
Jesus christ Dalen you're the fucking best man okay what you can't sit through some of this shit and suffer for a few hours of the rest of us?
Listen this is important Ellie is stranded with absolutely no one to come to her rescue I have to do it I'm I'm trying to be a nice guy
and this isn't important right here right now you're friends they're not important?
oh so uh sitting around and watching them open a bunch of gifts like that's some monumental experiment that he wants us to be there for?
Like who gives a shit.
Jesus Christ, you're his best fuckin friend. You're his best man where his friends were supposed to go
to this fucking shit and be supportive, what is wrong with you?
You covered for me, I will go to your one of your... fucking stupid fetish parties.
Jesus Christ, this girl must be some kind of freak under the sheets huh?
Do we have a deal or not?
It's kind of one of those where you scratch her back she scratches yours but in your case, your back is a dick.
Is that what?
It is you are such an asshole.
You really gonna go?
Just.... yes, I will go just please let me borrow your keys so I can take the car.
I have no other way of getting there what am I supposed to do?
You better not be jerking my penis like Ellie's gonna be jerking yours later.
I swear on my penis.
You swear on your penis I will have no dick if I break this promise.
Good..... You can take it....
Fucking, I don't want your dick. Your dick is filthy. Take it..... Thank you.....
Bump me... NO..... Bump me.....
Fuck you... fuck you.... I'll punch your fucking pretty lips if you start doing that shit again do you understand me.
Louie .... Fuck you.... I love you....
Hey........... I love you! go have some fun...
How does one travel out into the middle of east butt fuck cupcake and not have enough gas?
Hey I thought I was gonna have enough to get out here and back.
and you didn't even have enough to get to your actual destination.....
Well, that was poor planning on my part.
I really appreciate you coming out here for me.
Somehow I feel like this is all an elaborate ruse.
Come on give me more credit than that.
Give you more credit coming from the girl who lured me up into her apartment after hours
for just a drink.
Hey you already took the blame for that one.
That was all you going for seconds and thirds.
Fourths, fifths I know.
but I'm really glad you did.
yeah I guess it was good to let loose do something a little different.
Oh, you know you can let him loose any time.
He's always horny forever?
Girls aren't allowed to be horny every five seconds like guys are?
No........ .............get in the car.
Where are we going? my favorite place....
Oh, it is a beautiful cloudy day to go to favorite places shut up... You shut up.
That you Dale?
It's just your local murderer here to end your life.
Oh, good.... well grab a beer get in here man I'm uh about to watch this walking dead finale for like the ninth time.
I don't know how you keep putting yourself through that?
Dude, I have to man I think I finally figured out who Negan kills though like I'm telling you if you just
if you if you watch it and you see like you keep track of where all the characters are lined up
and then what you gotta do turn the volume up like super loud
you can hear who's screaming and you can hear like who's getting murdered
I'm telling you I gotta I'm tired.... you can tell.....
it's a man and that man is Daryl
betting on it.
wooo, spoiler alert man why are you going to say that shit why would you what are you doing?
I mean you're the only one I'm telling I'm just guessing.
Oh, damn it man I thought you like actually knew?
There's no way of knowing we have to wait a couple more weeks.
Well look I'm just glad to have somebody actually watch this show with dude, because Bethany
she will not watch it with me man she says it's too violent or some shit I don't know?
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, I hear that I tried putting Ellie through it and
you know she's into so many crazy bizarre like weird fucking fetishy things
but just can't handle zombies feel like it's impossible and that zombies would never happen and I disagree
What that's ridiculous dude I don't understand how people can like hate zombies
I mean zombies aren't like they're not good or bad they're just zombies man they're just hungry that's all
They're the superheroes of today definitely
So wait a minute back up who's talking about Ellie chick
uh, Ellie just started working with us smoking hot brunette like super petite huge cans.
yeah, no i didn't .....you know Ass.......really nice smile.
Right I saw that yeah like I know, like who you're talking about but what are you saying like...
you guys just you guys hanging out all the time now like that's what's up?
Absolutely, yeah totally my type.
Yeah man look you just you can't, you can't be seeing her.
like, what is the issue am I missing something here?
there are just times in life that you need to just leave your friends when they tell you something and I'm telling you right now
you can't see her.
Uh, pump the brakes a little bit how do you know Ellie?
I don't know her personally but I know of her
and I know that you seeing her this is a bad idea.
wait wait wait so who the fuck are you to tell me who I can and can't hang out with
like what the fuck is this even about?
Dude, she's Arkan's ex-girlfriend.
Arkhan......
Yeah, Arkhan.....
As in like acne Arkan... Bethany's older fuckin brother?
unbelievable........ yeah.....man unless you know another Arkan somewhere
in the world that's the one i'm talking about.
Well your future brother-in-law isn't that fucking grand so wait the girl that Bethany would always bitch
and vent about there's always complaining......... uh...........
Yep!
Small little fucking world. Teensy tiny small little fucking world that Dalen lives in.
Unbelievable.........
Wait, so they don't have like a kid tucked away somewhere like living in a closet that they like?
oh dude, no man, she fucking went behind his back and got an abortion
woooo, oh thank god,
Dalen's all about abortions.
Well you might be but we all know Bethany is not.
She can't she doesn't stand for that shit dude, she's pro-life.
and between that and everything else that she did to Arkhan.
She just fucking despises the girl.
You know you could have given me a heads up a little sooner before I jumped into this.
Dude how the fuck was I supposed to know that you, were, gonna go dating some psycho.
okay it's just she's not even your type first of all and this whole situation is completely out of character for you.
Perfect bum nice cans nice smile and she's not a psycho.
Dude, look I think I would know.
You just said I do not know her personally.
No, I, I don't, but Bethany has told me enough stories to last a fucking lifetime dude.
I know enough to know for a fact this girl is nothing but fucking crumbly cookies man.
Oh, and of course as long as a brainwashed Bethany says it then it must be the truth huh?
Is that how it goes?
Dude, don't turn this into something it doesn't need to be.
Oh, no this has already turned into something there are two sides to every story rich.
and Bethany isn't exactly famous for keeping the peace she has a hard time nailing all the details down.
Wooooo, dude..... What I'm saying....... You need to slow down okay that's my fiance you're talking about now.
Yeah and I need to have a word with your fiance when she comes home because this is absolute bullshit.
I asked Ellie to be my date to the wedding.....
You did what?
You heard what.
Dude, that is just that's not gonna fly okay Bethany fucking hates Ellie with a passion.
There is absolutely no way she's gonna allow her being at the wedding, okay you could
there's nothing that you can say or do that's gonna let that fly so don't even bother man
I'm just saving you time at this point
Oh, okay so Bethany just gets whatever she wants now? Dude....... is that how it works?
It's her fucking wedding.
It's her fucking wedding, do you notice how you always say, it's her wedding and it's never our wedding?
Are you even gonna be in it Rich or is she gonna get up there and marry herself?
Am I gonna be her best man?
Oh, my god....... God, it's fucking bullshit....
You just do whatever the fuck she says and she's been dragging you down for years.
Wait, she's dragging me down let's, let's, talk about this for a second?
How'd your interview go the other day?
Oh, here we fucking go..... Yeah, here we fucking go I'm waiting.
It...I....I....didn't make it..... Oh, you didn't make it? Yeah oh, really why is that?
Uh, because I was really late.....
Yeah, you were really late. Fucking Louie, told me how you were really late because you were too
busy messing around with Ellie. He also told me, that's the reason why you couldn't make it to my wedding shower.
So, if Louie has already fucking told you everything then why am I here in this weird truth trap?
When I'm just trying to wash some dead and drink some fucking beers with you man?
Dude, you're fucking here because right now I am completely baffled by your actions and
what is going on with you you are literally handed opportunity after opportunity okay
your fucking parents have paid your way through school.
You got a great internship they're offering you a wonderful fucking job and all
you're doing is finding a way to screw it all up now I go ahead and make you the best man of my wedding
and lord knows you find a way to fuck that up too what's gonna be the big encore huh?
You know what fuck you rich okay.
You don't just get randomly handed the title a fuckin best man at a wedding like you are plucking names out of a fucking hat.
I have been your best friend your whole fucking life that's why I'm your best man at the wedding.
Standing up...
and on top of that how about?
When you were 21 years old and you needed to get your license
and I had to bring you to take your fucking driving test
not once not twice but three fucking times
because you drove like a toddler at the age of 21 and speaking of driving how about back when we were freshman in high school
and we stole your dad's Porsche and you got so fucking hammered that I had to drive that thing
home that night I had never driven a car in my life just so that you wouldn't get busted
I pulled you out of that fucking situation and we can rewind this all the way back to
first fucking grade when I had to tell everyone that you were roller coaster rich roller coaster
rich has a fucking roller coaster in his backyard so that everyone would stop calling you a
faggot and kicking your ass at recess and they would come to your goddamn birthday party
you're welcome so to tell me that I am not the best man at your wedding from being the
best man who has ever existed in your life you can go fuck yourself you fuckin,
prick.
Hey, it's me,
yeah no i'm good um are you still going to that party tonight
yeah obviously uh what do you think about picking me up.
well no plans changed and I don't know I just don't give a fuck, I'm just ready to rumble.
do something crazy...
absolutely....
all right but the only thing is I pick up Louie well I mean, you pick up Louie, you pick
me up we get Louie and we make this thing happen I owe my favor he'll be fine I'll be
fine we'll get through this whole night
Password.... Oh, hey uh I believe it is, little red corset
You're good... Let's get lit.......
Come on... Is that O'Reilly....... O'Reilly are you from hu? Come on...
You okay?
I mean yeah I'm good I got this.
Are you sure? you look really uncomfortable.
No, I'm fine I promise.... uh it's just like I mean I just saw fucking guys balls walk by with his pubes hanging out
it's just not really my regular situation.
Well I mean think of it as pre-gaming for the big Hollywood parties.
I mean if you can't handle a couple naked chicks and dudes right now?
How are you going to handle it when you make it as a big-time screenwriter and head to those crazy parties out west?
I mean inevitably you're going to have to suck up to some big dicks and suits one day.
Might as well start learning now i mean at least everybody's friendly here.
That is an interesting perspective.
I know I'm smart think of me as your training wheel.
um yeah but what if I want you to be more than just my training wheels?
Well I think maybe that could happen I mean you already proved you can handle a good ride.
ah stop it.
Let's stop what? We're doing the thing again.... He's ready...
Yeah he's always ready when you have your hands on him and then you have you talking about my fucking dick in the third person
let's go find a bathroom.
Ellie...
What I mean no one's gonna care here if anything it's a photo opportunity.
woooooo, woooo, Hey sorry buddy just we're not doing any cameras today. uh,
no one takes any photos of me my girl without my permission
that's just kind of how I roll but thank you. I appreciate it I like this that's.
Cool...... When did we start getting all fucking shy around here?
Sorry, it's his first time at one of these he doesn't know the protocols.
Let me ask you a question.... okay.... would you....
give up an inch of your dick for 143 thousand dollars?
um excuse me no it's a very simple question would you give up an inch of your cock
for $143,000?
I.. um, I... wouldn't give up an inch of my cock for any amount of money no matter
it is a charity or some guy down the street just had fucking cancer
and he needs a little bit of dick edition
uh nothing so thanks anyways
no no no no no no no no no no no no there's a story there's
a story with us I'm not done yet I'm not done yet we're gonna break you in good huh so a
buddy of mine right this guy right he's getting a blow job from i mean a girl with a metal
mouth I'm talking front braces bottom braces lip ring tongue ring so she's and she's really
going to town on it right so it's all like
right and then she rips his dick she rips his dick so he has to have an emergency procedure
so he's at the hospital he's getting the surgery done and then you know what he did?
He paid, a $143 grand to get an inch of his dick back?
no no no no no no......... You think that you think that you think that but no no that's
not what happened he sued the doctors $143 thousand dollars because he lost an inch
of his dick, that's what he figured an inch of his dick was worth.
Right but could you imagine that like like never having sex again
because you're you lost an inch of your dick not that he had that much to begin
Oh, my god he just spit inside of my mouth I just felt it..
Get me the fuck out of here.... You know you know what I bet you know no you know what I bet I bet
that you are hung like a hamster
I bet you don't even have anything to be grateful for
down there you weren't born with anything?
tell him that you nicknamed it cockzilla.
please...
you know I...I.. bet I bet if you took an inch off you'd have an innie.
it's not even, it's not even, worth tak... taking a snapshot of your baby dick with my camera am I right....am I right.....am I right.
I don't know.... woooo. enough.......
Well I can see who wears the pants around here... back.... off fuck...... fuck you!!
She never wears the pants, because I'm always having sex with her. Shut up......
that guy is a fucking asshole I'm gonna beat the fuckin titty though. He's not worth your time......
I mean, I have no problem with what you're packing just ignore him.
thanks his fucking ball sack touch the inside of my hand.
I'm down with the sack tap but I hate the inside fuck I just want to kill him.
It's fine just chill out I mean the photographers aren't usually like that they're usually pretty chill.
I need to go take a fucking shot just in the shape of a refrigerator.
Let's go...... Let's go...........
Ellie fucking fletcher in the flesh oh my god.
Oh this is real..... It's so good to see you Mrs. Lacey looking kinky as always!
Thank you.... How long has it been since you've shown your face around one of these?
far too long.
Yeah, no shit have you forgotten how uh these get-togethers work?
I haven't so covered.
wait so he used to be like, a um?
Riot girl oh yeah she was more than that she was the fucking best it's too bad you crossed over to the dark side.
We miss you .....
Well, you know the dark side has cookies couldn't pass it up.
Yeah, save the excuses so uh who's the mystery man?
This is my man Dalen but uh everybody calls him dal.
You got yourself a handsome one definitely different from the others.
I'm Mistress Lacey I.....
I..........I you have a cool name and an interesting outfit.
Thank you we all have uh riot girl names.
Wait so? like who are the other guys she's talking about?
What's wrong with all the other guys that you've dated?
Sorry I think it's great that Ellie has someone to keep her online rather than the other way around.
If only that were true.... she is a lunatic........ Oh, okay I catch your drifts.....
Looks can um be deceiving.
Wait so, I mean well that's not what I meant it's like..... You guys need drinks?
okay....... you guys..... please yes.......
you want a beer? Oh nope, good not drinking tonight all set thanks.
Come on it's just a beer?
Okay the last time you said a beer we drank a margarita kiddie pool I was naked you were naked we did a little something in the shower..
Enough, enough okay fine you don't have to drink but I can drink that's okay?
absolutely I mean definitely indulge uh don't hold off in this weird fetish scenario because
of me hand over your keys, that's the big thing.
and what was your riot girl's name?
haaaaa....Don't start....
Oh, so now you're gonna answer me?
You're not mad, are you?
I'm not mad it's just so weird like, Mistress Lacy what a fucking wacko.
You promise you're not mad?
I promise I'm not mad...... keys..
You're the best you know that.
All right now go do something that you're gonna end up forgetting.
and I'll remind you and you're probably gonna feel it.
Oh, wait! whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Are you okay?
We can't forget about your little home slice dog.
Your little sidekick thing a mabobber woof woof woof he's inside.
He'll be fine... He's inside.... You're very drunk......
Let's keep it moving we're going north towards the vehicle... You're being very you right now.......
Icicle man, you are being very you, you horny little devil. Oh, my god.....
You're so horny, go to the car.
Keep up.... Oh my god
Well, we can't leave without your little home slice.
your little dog man Ellie....Ellie.....
Are you kidding me? Mr. Louie....
West Coast, East Coast....McDonalds... You nailed it that's all the coasts......
We should go there..... So smart........ Get some breakfast all day.......
A happy meal....! Oh, that's such a good idea yes we can.....
All-day breakfast motherfucker.......
You're my pimp daddy yo only you get the three-digit combination to this pussy.
Are you kidding me...... Yeah......
Just in the car stay....
I'm driving.....
Oh that sounds like a great idea you can drive from the passenger seat cool beans.
"Drunk Ellie"..........Pullover! Ellie, we're almost there just calm down.
We're gonna be fine. "Drunk Ellie"..........I said! pullover!
Ellie, I'm not pulling over unless are you gonna be sick?
Pullover you reckless fuck I don't want you driving my car anymore!!!
We are almost there we're gonna be fine.
Give me this! .....Jesus Christ!
Say, Jesus Christ, one more fucking time I fucking dare you see what happens!
Oh, sure you can comprehend that but you can't comprehend anything else that's
fucking happening tonight.
Ellie: WATCHOUT!!! "Brakes Happen"
OH MY FUCKING GOD! LOOK AT MY FUCKING CAR! Man....
Yeah I know, are you okay?
Do I fucking look okay? look at my car you asshole!
there was nothing I could do.
I mean the deer just fucking spawned out of the woods like
fucking some video game there was nothing I could do to avoid it.
Yeah, how about hitting the fucking break look now there's fucking blood everywhere.
We'll get it fixed I promise I got a guy uh an insurance guy
I got all kinds of people who can take care of this problem we're good.
We're good? oh yeah just like earlier hand me the keys I'll drive in my backward's hat and my Hawaiian shirt
I'm sober enough to drive.
Yeah, fucking right you idiot now look what happened.
okay and if you had drove, we would have been the blood all over somebody else's fucking car.
So I'd rather sacrifice a deer for humans. Fuck me....
Running sideways right? living life on the edge dude.
I'm pretty sure that's impossible, dude.
No, sounds like a pretty good idea to me don't you think?
No, it sounds like a terrible idea and this is a horrible time to be acting like this
No come on take advantage of me
Ellie, come on it's like...
Come on ..... We can't do this..... I want you to fuck me on the hood of my car.....
it'll be so hot.........
it won't be hot this is...
gonna be cold there's probably some fucking homeless asshole filming this in the goddamn wilderness..
so let me save you the trouble and let's go home your a fucking panty-ass little bitch that's what you are
you're going in the back seat ........ Oh, backseat........owwwww!
Jesus, just fucking get in there just I don't even care if you wear a fucking seatbelt shut up.
Robbie, you summoned me?
Broski, All right popping the king's chair.
You probably heard people talking about this on the floor.
uh, actually I haven't heard anything is everything cool?
um....
well
I guess I'm glad to be the one that's gonna tell you first,
okay
We're shutting down.
This soon? I mean.....
I figured we had another five years before the fucking actually reached the fan
and started spraying everywhere..
Hey nobody reads the newspapers any more kid end of the month completely digital.
This is surreal I have been here since I was in high school.
I know it caught me off guard too.
On Monday, I get the staff together and broke the news.
You work nights late in the week. You're the last one to hear.
I wanted to tell you myself.
I didn't want to do it over the phone.
I'm sorry dal I'm real sorry.
I'll be okay.
Yeah, I know you're rich you'll be fine you guys have good heads on your shoulders
Louie and Terrell? no backup plan
hey that stays between you and me hey
that sure does.
I think they are acutely aware of their situation as well
it's the fact that they don't have any ambition to do anything about it
well, I hope they'll turn out okay. hmm...
wow, so this is it huh the final chapter how many days are they giving us?
29th we shut the doors.
It's not much time but it's better than no time at all.
Yeah, so how'd the other guys take the news Louie and Tyrell and Rich?
You know? In spite of themselves, I think they're gonna miss the shithole.
I know, I am.....
So what you don't know how to answer your phone?
Listen, Ellie, I just
No, you know what?
I'm tired of listening it's your fucking turn to listen so pay real close attention.
Ellie I was just giving us some space after the...
shut the fuck up do you hear me shut
the fuck up no one fucks with me especially not a little fucking boy like you.
A little fucken boy? That's not what you were saying when you were fucken tits down drunk open
the other night.
Please I wear high heels bigger than your dick.
Your pussy fucking smells like pennies and whiskey.
Yeah well glad you feel like that cause you're never gonna get a taste
of this again.
I didn't mean to say that I apologize.
Yeah well you know what I meant every fuckin word that I
said and if you think you're getting off free over what happened
this weekend then you can think again you're gonna pay me back every fucking dime you owe
me for what you did to my car you little prick.
Relax of course I'm gonna pay you back I'm not a total fuckin douche.
I took some money out it's $250 that's all I have for now you
have to wait until I get paid again just hang in there until I get my check at the end of
the week. I'm sorry I don't know what else to say.
You are a little piece of shit thanks for the free money you know what I
should take you to court and get even more out of you.
Really? That's how you're gonna handle this after I just graciously handed you money out of my fucking pocket..
No one fucks me over you better get that through your thick-ass skull.
This is really how you want this to end?
How the fuck did you think it was gonna end?
Life isn't a happy fucking ending Sunday with sprinkles on top, you fucked with the wrong person
and you know what you can't handle me.
In this entire time, you were the one that was actually getting fucked.
Ellie, please.....
Don't fuckin touch me ever again do you hear me.
I'm better than this I'm better than all this is..
Christ, it's like being in a fucking airplane closet.
Thanks so much for taking a victory shit today.
Some fucking top-notch plumbing..
God damn baby boy, I have been looking all over for you.
Not now master ells, I'm not having the best of nights bro.
You better brace yourself.
What now? That chick is going apeshit on your hot wheels outside.
Ellie....!!
That one. What I saw Count Dooku, slice and diece...
Are you fucking kidding me!!!
fucking women.......ha shit
Oh, you fucking bitch.
You fucking bitch! You fucking bitch!
You need a ride?
Yeah, yeah that'd be great.... I got you........
"Music"
Quite giving me awkward silence the whole car right here was bad enough.
I don't think we got to continue that anymore right?
Agreed..
How the hell did you even know I was out there anyway?
It's Tyrell manny came in and told me how Ellie was out there fucking up your
car and slashing your tires so I went and talked to Robbie and asked him if it was cool
if I gave you a ride home seemed like you're having a rough night.
That I was.
man, well you didn't have to it's not like I deserve any special treatment or anything..
I know I didn't have to but I wanted to you know you're my boy gotta have you back and though.
Appreciate that and you know I just I gotta say I'm sorry about the other night man like I'll let you
have it and I never usually apologize but I was officially out of line in that situation
I appreciate the apology and everything but really dude it's totally unnecessary we I
think we were both wrong at the end of the day it was just some stupid petty argument
you know just water on the bridge you know I think we were both wrong at the end of the
day right. True.....
I'll dig it.
but I gotta give credit where credit is due because you were 100 correct
about Ellie that lunatic piece of shit
and all I did was find out the hard way good god.
Yeah well you know what dude at the end of the day.
we all got to learn these lessons the hard way I mean lord knows about how many times I got to learn stupid shit the hard way right so
well that's why you are so lucky now you guys got it all figured out like I'm so happy for you and beth
I mean you have an awesome relationship I am so pumped about this wedding
it's going to be amazing.
I appreciate that man because as it turns out I heard Tyrell I think still looking for a date so
you want to jump on that? Yeah...
Yeah, I don't even think I could land Tyrell as a date.
Cause you know him he's always got a fish on the line
he's got a bat in the cave he's got an orangutan and a jungle,
yeah but,
you know him man one's never enough he's always tagging...
and he's always bagging...... he got big things popping......
and he got little things stopping....... Haaaaa!....
Man... I'm not gonna lie, I think we might be blacker than him.
I feel pretty black when that comes out of me. Yeah.... absolutely...... Black attack....
but I definitely don't say it enough man I really really appreciate our friendship
and I love you bro no homo.
Hey man, more than mutual obviously you know no matter what I'm always going to have you back
even if you are being led astray by some crazy-ass psycho, you know queen of the fetishes
uh, nut job..
we should get married I'm just kidding you keep doing the thing,
Yeah, you have to talk to beth about that one.
speaking of crazy-ass psycho queen of the fetishes nut job
one of them led Louie away the other night as well so now he's got that to deal with...
Yeah, he actually was telling me about that he feels really bad for blowing you off there so
Good, he should..............Asshole...... He says he....
Wants to make it up to you he says uh beers and billiards at his place tomorrow night
So luckily enough, I already checked the schedule and as it turns out none of us are working.
Jesus Robbie's already cutting hours unbelievable.
Yeah, he sure is man, it's unfortunate.
Louise, it is then!
I am pissing in one of his potted plants because that is how I roll.
Hey you.
Hey Athena how are you? Respectable........you?
Respectable huh? I don't think I've heard that response before? I kind of dig it.
Well, you can add it to your repertoire and thank me later.
Duly noted, uh so, what's up any scripts need coverage or what?
Not right now actually um I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute about yours in my office real quick
You already read it?
Sure did, come on in... That's amazing!
You can shozed the door.
Shozed ...... ...Shozed.................hahaha I SHOZED IT!!!
ALL RIGHT!! um I'm gonna be really honest with you
I wouldn't want it any other way
I thought it was really really good granite there are some places you could trim the fat off in a few places here and there
but overall it read really well.
Seriously? Yeah, I mean I have to say right off the bat the action descriptors were masterfully written.
I could visualize everything so easily and especially with such a difficult subject matter I was impressed
with the way that you were able to pull everything together so succinctly granted uh the action
descriptors were a lot better than the dialogue but it's not to say that the dialogue was
bad it'll get there nevertheless it has so much potential.
That is so cool I...I appreciate you taking the time
Well, it's my job plus I go into much more detail in this coverage that I wrote for you
Wow! Athena, this is definitely above and beyond the call of duty I've always
been more of a halo guy myself Xbox exclusive, uh you ever play? Uh, no....
I'm grateful though that you took the time.
Everything..... So thank you so much.... Everything...
you did in your internship was above and beyond the call of duty.
I just wanted to show you that we appreciate you.
In fact, I called you in here for an entirely different reason.
Oh yeah?
Remember when I told you that I was interested in going out west to pursue my photography degree.
Yeah of course?
Well, I decided it's time to shit or get off the pot.
That sounds so gross when a female says it.
Then it's like for a second you like me my buddies say it.....I understand where you're going.
Um, well, uh, I gave Mike my notice yesterday.
Whoa, like goodbye notice, that is insane.
I am so happy for you. Holy crap, I mean your photography is beautiful like perfect.
I can't believe you didn't go to school for that originally.
Yeah, I know when I was where you are now I had no idea what the hell I wanted
It was only five years ago but I was clueless
my parents call me a nomad for the amount that I travel around and wander aimlessly
but I feel like after a few years of working in different companies getting my feet wet with a few different things I finally know where my heart is
I would wish you the best of luck
but you're not even the kind of person you need thanks
I'm really gonna miss your passion wisdom your humor
but the rest of the office doesn't have to
well I only got a couple weeks left so
it'll be a little longer than that a lot longer
hopefully, until you're a famous screenwriter at least
this will help you pay the bills in the meantime
you're giving me your job I recommended you for the position mike is elated to start working with you
oh my god thank you so much you are incredible
you deserved it
I am nowhere near as attractive as you but I'm not gonna let you down I promise
let me hear from you, okay you have my phone and email
I want to hear where all that talent is taking you
I'm sure it'll be far
Hey, I owe you an apology.
Nah, I've lost many of billiards games in my day.
No one gives a fuck about billiards. I mean at the riot girl party and ditching you the other night.... it was..... uh sorry....
In all fairness, you did warn me how fucked up that shit could get before we even picked up Ellie in the first place.
Dipo..... was still a shitty thing to do
Yeah I know I'm still sorry.....
Wait what was that? I said I'm sorry sweetheart...
I just wanted to make sure I heard the right words.
Well. I mean the weird thing is
if you didn't do what you did
I never would have got to see what I saw and that is what
I needed to learn that night and that wouldn't have happened if you were there
In that case, you're welcome.
I accept that you're welcome. Thank you...
Hey, buds..... Before rugs......
Hey, buds..... Before rugs...... All right,.... (You know that) .... I killed you you ain't got no place on the pool table you didn't kill
me? maybe? no that's some bullshit no dude you got lucky.
you can't come back from that now you've got no place on the pool table no no place I'm calling
bullshit but you know what this this right here this
is what I just actually did this is what oh you finally heard you heard back from that job
come on man y'all let me finish
I'm not gonna choke up on this shit pull myself up I'll put myself together
I racked up enough points to earn me a foot, long at subway
oh boy yeah
sounds like you've been working really hard at this is this like out of you I started from the bottom but now I'm here wow
I'm here bro.. mother Teresa.. (I've arrived... ) it's only five dollars..
yeah there's tax oh they got taxes on it okay yeah
Cause we could buy you one? That's impressive so what are you thinking like a ham and cheese
like a turkey? Doesn't matter it's a free footlong I'll figure it out when get there.. Like an Italian cold cut or something or
whatever I don't know about that man all I know is I started from the bottom
i just want to earn a free footlong that's it you get too many questions
You did a great job man. That's impressive The dream is real So you're telling me you
didn't hear back from that job then? Job? Yeah?
yeah, the job? Yeah well, what had happened uh was okay so my uncle see he works there okay
he works there and he's gonna get me in that's that's at least what he said because you know
I'm trying to wake up dreaming..... I feel like all this is bullshit...... .....dreaming on that green....
you know i'm saying dreaming on that green right on that green and he'll be rolling up
that green or he'll be packing that green and he'll be smoking green.... The rap industry....
There is a lot of green.... You know what I am saying. (Right?) It going on right now, yeah but he knows what I'm talking about........ I'm saying right? (I don't know what you're talking about know)
Just because you're a square. Right? Well, I just I don't know so so what whatever man
look, uh, at the end of the day look you're not the only one that's got good news.
(ok he got good news) / (oooooh) / (Give it to us) I understand it let's hear it the subway card
is awesome and I'm not trying to take anything away from that, but as it turns out I finally
put together enough uh enough money to get back to school finally finish that degree
oh, he gets to finally finish up his ABC's you never got to z ... So you ended up snagging
that "CJ" Well yeah well see what had happened I was trying to snag a little "BJ" she said
no no no not until I get the "CJ" so I get that degree and then after we get married her dad's
going to hook me up with a job at that correctional facility (What is happening?) the correctional.... he works at the....
correctional..... facility.....facility....facility.....facility How many drinks have you had? (Say "FACILITY") So i'm going....
to get..... Peanut butter in your mouth. (Yeah), what? "CJ', "BJ", well what happened to "AJ" (I don't know?)
(I think he got fired) Man, I can't get over that.... You know, uh, Rich isn't the only one with good news okay (facility)
(Say facility)...... facility.... we're saying the same thing FACILITY!......... Yeah, that's what I said? All right well at
my FACILITY! I'm done driving the regular fork truck with my fork in the furious ways okay
I'm Paul Walker-ing it out of there and....... Oh!!! He's walking away......great day to die!
(That's.....) ......Am I the rock? Am I the rock? (I'am walking away!) YEAH!!!! I got my big boy license so pretty soon I'll be
forking it up pretty, pretty, pretty, high.... How old long? Has this guy been talking about getting
his CDL? I mean I know i've been telling him to do it for years now. (um eons) The test was.....
so easy. You back up six feet, you move forward six feet, that's all I had to do.
(Should have done it years ago like we told you to do.) Yeah, the pay increase if I had done it all those years ago but you know what I did know...whatever..
(eons....) (Congratulations man!) Thank you... (eons.... what's that?) eons, It's I don't know a thousand years? (It's like couple thousand years)
(its like yaaaaan......) ......Man forget you!......forget you! (It's if a donkey says it...)
All right! you know, either way, uh, if we're all spilling the beans I might as well take
the opportunity to uh, you guys know how i was uh an intern I will be a full-time employee
at Golden Age
Productions. ....(Shut the fuck up).......(Wooooooow)..... Shit, you're about to be the next Stephen Spielberg. That's what he is he is a fucking next Steven
Spielberg! You heard the man you heard them because I'm taking Terrell's advice (Yes you are) and I'm
looking to make those pockets fat.... Brother, I believe in you!...Thank you, thank you, (I don't......)
really believe in them, but I don't really....) .....I believe in you bro! (Well you know what guys)
enough for the good news, subway car, CJ, BJ, AJ.... I don't know, truck driver, CDL.... (fork truck)
and Steven Spielberg right here that's cause we ain't gonna be "THE GRAVEYARD GANG" for too long now
Yeah, you know what? Might as well make the most out of it. Let's drink up, let's party
tonight. It's on! Just don't match me up in pool now. Oh, Jesus... (Haaaaaaaaaa)
Yeah! (That's what she said.) Let's get it!...... (Yeah)...... Bring it in now.. Black guy's still alive!....... (Yes I am!!!)
You like, won game in......Your whole life you know what I am saying?
'Happy ending"
"Music Playing"
summer nights just driving around a warm breeze with the windows down takes me back when all
we knew were fun times can you recall the way we promised ourselves that things would
all be the same after all can you blame us for trying
Let's go...let's go....let's go....let's go.... Late nights and red lights passing us by watching the sky fards to red as it goes down the sun still sleeps tonight.
do you remember the late-night talks......
Jedi nights!! I have been patiently waiting for your arrival this evening.
Master Els!
I shall don my robes for the evening.
Hold the phone kid, hold the phone. (What's up?) You got to see this shit player I'm telling you this is going to make your night
matter of fact it's going to make you fucking year.
All right boys he is here!
Here he is....
I cannot wait to see your fucking face after you read this.
You're going to love it, man. Big story to your evening. .....We make newspapers we don't read them boys. You're going to want to read this...
Local Ayer resident, Ellie Fletcher 27 years of age was arrested Wednesday night after allegedly burglarizing her ex-boyfriend's home.
The ex-boyfriend Arkham Thomas, reported to police immediately after
he noticed his wallet and various items were missing throughout his home.
According to authorities, Miss Ellie Fletcher decided to check her Facebook
during the midst of the chaos and neglected to log off her account
before leaving with thousands of dollars worth of stolen property
uh, chief of police Charlie Irons said if she wouldn't have done the Facebook
thing we would have never caught her...YES! what an idiot bitch.
Darwin awards! ..... Darwin awards? I don't, I don't think you actually understand what that means. The darwin award is actually
given to somebody who self selects themselves out of uh like the gene pool uh via death.
Not just for doing some...........no! pool of genes! ..(Fools with gene?)........... I love the thing they put a picture of her in here
and she looks like she got slapped in the face with like 70 sets of balls.
Like that makes me so much happier.
Right, it does! Sure does! What comes around goes around, right?
It sure does...it sure did the does!
Man, that's heavy... (Dumb Bitch)....
All right you chooses, can you like sort of kind of like pretend you're into this?
I would like to get you know a few hours for work? (Come on Robbie, come on...)
I have had a PHD in newspapers man, I am the mother fucking doctor.
You are the doctor your always......operating.
Hell yeah, you already know about me operate all day every day
Original Song / "Music Playing" Song: The Graveyard Gang
When I was young, I knew what I would be, I'd work the mill, raise a family.
Like my father and grandfathers who came before.
I'd be met by my girl at the front porch green door but when my turn came.
The southern man took the mail, the tannery the store froze, the dam went still.
Me, I got draft, went and fought for the man, when I came back home.
Not a soul needed my hands.
When my grandson asks, me how it goes?
This is the story I sang kid, I'm just looking for, my baby.
I'm waiting on my baby, I'm going home to my babe,
this refugee of "The Graveyard Gang"
I watch these kids they're just passing through,
on their way to who knows where? They think they're paying their dues.
They're upstairs on break, token their gauge, no hope or expectation beyond minimum wage, they think we don't know.
They think we can't see they look at us like where someone's used to be
the best thing for them is to shut this place down if it'll get one or two to take a look around
under the parking lot lights, they rehearse as they hang.
I'm looking for my babe, I'm waiting on my baby, I'm going home to my babe,
this refugee of the graveyard gang.
when I was young back in that used to be
you could still hear the echoes of community
talk about it now feels like something's wrong
with the very notion of trying to belong so I run the press watch the sheets flow
watch these young strangers come and go
what can I say it's such a sign I send out a prayer
they'll somehow get it right
I head out to my old fort-like I don't give a damn
I'm looking for my baby, I'm waiting on my baby, I'm going home to my baby,
This refugee of the graveyard gang.
"Music Playing"
Guthrie? Ben, Dan, Dev, Richy, Oh, Shit......
These motherfucks left me.
The movie over? I ain't dead yeah shit nobody......
Guthrie? Ben, Dan, Ryan, Richy.... Shit outta here....
The End!