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* DOWN THE ROAD ONE MORE TIME *
* RUNNIN' FREE, IT'S HARD, RUNNIN' LONELY *
* LEFT ANOTHER PLACE, GONE AND LEFT THE KEYS *
* ALL THE MEMORIES ARE PUT AWAY NOW *
* I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WENT WRONG *
* I JUST WANNA STOP RUNNIN' LONELY *
* AHH...RUNNIN' HARD IS LONELY *
* AHH...FREEDOM HAS ITS COST
* AHH...DID I DO THE RIGHT THING? *
* TOO LATE NOW, OH, BUT I FEEL SO LOST *
* BREATH OF LIFE IS HOT UPON MY CHEEK *
* SO CLOSE I CAN HARDLY SPEAK *
* DARKNESS CLOUDS MY VISION NOW OF ALL I KNEW BEFORE *
* BUT I CAN HEAR THE ROAR
* THERE'S SOMETHING MORE JUST AHEAD OF ME *
* OUT OF REACH
* PROMISING AN END TO RUNNIN' LONELY *
* MAYBE THIS TIME I CAN MAKE IT *
* MAYBE I'M COMIN' HOME
* MAYBE I CAN STOP MY RUNNIN' *
* NO MORE RUNNIN' HARD
* NO MORE RUNNIN' AWAY
* NO MORE RUNNIN' LONELY *
GO!
PULL IT.
GET THAT END THERE.
OH, MAN.
LADY, YOU'RE COVERING UP MY CAUSES.
OH.
CAN I PUT IT IN YOUR WINDOW?
LET ME SEE WHAT IT IS.
I'M FOR FREE ENTERPRISE.
PUT IT UP.
THANKS.
MURPHY'S PHARMACY.
I'LL HAVE THE BANANA SPLIT.
UM...NO, I'LL HAVE A COKE.
LEMON COKE.
IS THAT REAL LEMON?
I GROW THEM IN MY BACK YARD.
MRS. RADCLIFF'S COUGH ISN'T ANY BETTER.
TELL HER TO CALL THE DOCTOR.
SHE WANTS MORE COUGH MEDICINE.
WELL, DON'T SEND IT.
SHE'S DRINKING IT FOR THE ALCOHOL.
YOU LIVED HERE LONG?
ALL MY LIFE.
DO YOU LIKE IT?
I MUST HAVE.
WHAT KIND OF TOWN IS THIS?
IT'S SMALL, FRIENDLY.
YOU CAN CARRY GUNS,
BUT YOU CAN'T GET AN ABORTION.
I DON'T WANT TO DO EITHER.
MORNING, MURPH.
MORNING, LEROY.
WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?
THIS TIME, MODESTO, CALIFORNIA.
THEN YOU KNOW THE RULES.
YOU MEAN LIKE KEEP YOUR FRONT ROOM PICKED UP?
DON'T MESS WITH A MARRIED MAN?
THAT'S PART.
THE REST IS...
WE GOT A RHODES SCHOLAR, A HOMOSEXUAL, MARIJUANA,
AND A MAN WHO WEARS HIS WIFE'S NIGHTGOWN.
WE'RE IN THE MAINSTREAM.
ACTUALLY, NOT YET.
I GOT CALLED "HONEY," "MISSY,"
AND I THINK THERE WAS A "LITTLE LADY."
THEY'RE NOT TOO FAMILIAR WITH THE E.R.A.
FOR CONSCIOUSNESS RAISING,
YOU'LL HAVE TO HEAD EAST.
HOW MUCH?
35 CENTS. DON'T TIP.
I OWN THE PLACE.
I WASN'T GOING TO.
SEE YOU AROUND.
WELL, YES, MA'AM.
WELL, HOW DID IT GO?
THEY DON'T HAVE A COMPUTER IN THAT SCHOOL.
OH.
DID YOU TALK TO ANYBODY?
ONE KID.
HE'S AN INDIAN.
GOOD.
THEY GIVE YOU A LOT OF HOMEWORK?
DID IT ON THE BUS.
THAT'S GREAT.
GO ON IN AND HAVE MILK AND COOKIES.
I DIDN'T GET MILK.
HAVE WATER AND COOKIES.
BRING ME A COOKIE!
MOM, CAN I GET SOME ICE CREAM?
THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT'S ENOUGH.
MAKE THAT TWO.
I ALREADY GOT YOU ONE.
NEXT.
HAVE A SEAT, MA'AM.
GO AHEAD.
LET'S GO.
GOOD FIDDLIN', MURPH.
REAL SWEET, MURPH.
IS THIS YOUR BOY?
THIS IS MY BOY JAKE.
MURPHY JONES.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
YOU MOONLIGHTING?
WE JUST LET OFF A LITTLE STEAM,
ME AND THE HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
AND THE BASKETBALL COACH.
YOU GOING TO PEARSON JUNIOR HIGH?
YES, SIR.
I WENT THERE IN THE DARK AGES.
YOU DON'T LOOK THAT OLD.
I'VE GOT A 4-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON NAMED AFTER ME.
HELLO, MURPHY.
HI, MARGARET.
COMING OVER FOR BRIDGE?
SORRY, I CAN'T.
EDITH HOLLIS IS MAKING SPAGHETTI.
BESIDES, YOU AND WARNER FIGHT TOO MUCH.
WELL, ALL RIGHT FOR YOU.
YOU PROBABLY DON'T WATCH MUCH TELEVISION.
I'M PRETTY WELL BOOKED UP.
YOU SEE, I'M A WIDOWER.
THAT'S THE SAME AS CATNIP TO A CAT
IN A TOWN WHERE LADIES
OUTNUMBER YOU 10 TO 1.
IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY'S
BEEN TO THE RESTROOM.
I BETTER GET BACK.
GOOD NIGHT, SON.
MA'AM.
1, 2, 3, 4...
COME ON, MOM.
MOM?
GIN.
OH, HONEY.
GOD, IT'S 1:00!
I'M SORRY.
YOU CAN GO TO BED,
EVEN THOUGH I'M WINNING.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
OH, YES, YOU DO!
IF YOU GET A CAVITY, I'LL KILL MYSELF.
HAVE YOU HAD A BUSINESS LICENSE?
NO.
IT'LL TAKE A FEW MINUTES.
JUST SIT DOWN, AND NO SMOKING.
WE'VE BEEN WAITING, MURPHY.
WE'VE GOT A WARRANT.
JESSE, I GOT THE MONEY.
22 TICKETS AT $10 APIECE.
THAT'S $220.
22 TICKETS IN 22 DAYS?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
IT DOES TO ME.
MURPHY, WHY DON'T YOU MOVE THE CAR?
WHY DON'T YOU MOVE THE DAMN PARKING METER?
THE TOWN COUNCIL WON'T DO IT.
WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER A LOT.
MRS. MORIARTY.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, MURPHY?
YOU HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN?
IF IT WERE MY DOG,
I'D TIE IT UP THERE.
SAME THING.
IT'S A CAR.
IT'S A FAMILY HEIRLOOM.
I'M GOING TO KEEP MY EYE ON IT.
THEY'VE STOLEN MY HUBCAPS AND MY TIRES.
THEY'VE UNSCREWED MY VENUS!
I'M NOT GOING TO STAND STILL FOR THAT.
PUT IN A SUPPLY OF QUARTERS.
I'VE GOT A PROPOSAL.
YOU TAKE OUT THE METER,
AND I'LL PUT IN A TREE.
IT WILL PROVIDE SHADE,
GIVE THE DOGS SOMETHING.
TELL THAT TO YOUR CITY COUNCIL.
MRS. MORIARTY.
MR. JONES.
ARE YOU THE TOWN ODDBALL?
WHEN I'M PUSHED, I SHOVE.
YOU CAN'T FIGHT CITY HALL.
YOU CAN WRESTLE THEM.
YOU'RE NOT A GOOD RISK.
THERE'S NO HUSBAND TO COSIGN.
THERE'S NO COLLATERAL.
YOU'RE RENTING.
I DON'T SEE ANY ASSETS.
I'M THE ASSET.
I'VE BEEN WORKING RANCHES ALL MY LIFE.
YOU'RE A WOMAN.
IF I WORE A FLY, NOT A ZIPPER,
I'D GET THE LOAN?
YOU'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE.
WELL, I'D GO OUT ON THE STREETS,
BUT YOU'VE ONLY GOT ONE.
I THINK THAT WILL WORK.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BESSIE, DON'T FORGET TO PUT THE LABELS ON.
YOU'RE GETTING ABSENT-MINDED LATELY.
YOU WERE WEARING DIFFERENT-COLORED SOCKS YESTERDAY.
GOOD MORNING.
IS IT?
WELL, THE SUN'S OUT.
I'LL SETTLE FOR THAT.
ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS CHEERFUL IN THE MORNING?
IF THE MARKET EDGES UP.
I'M NOT IN THE MARKET,
JUST IN THE SOUP.
SOMETHING WRONG?
COULD I HAVE TWO EXTRA-STRENGTH TYLENOL, PLEASE?
SURE.
HOW DO YOU OPEN THIS?
I'LL GET IT.
THERE'S A LOT OF FLU GOING AROUND.
I HOPE I CATCH IT
AND DIE!
WHAT'S WRONG?
I NEED A LOAN.
I CAN'T GET ONE.
YOU'RE A BIG MAN HERE.
I HAVE TO PAY MY PARKING TICKETS.
HOW ABOUT A LOAN?
NO.
THAT WAS REAL FRIENDLY.
WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
I DON'T KNOW YOUR CHARACTER.
IT'S JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE'S.
IT'S GOOD SOMETIMES, BAD SOMETIMES.
I WORKED HARD FOR THESE CALLUSES.
I'M CARRYING THESE PEOPLE.
HELEN TAYLOR WAS TAKEN OFF MEDICARE.
SHE NEEDED A WHEELCHAIR FOR A BROKEN BACK.
ANDY STERN WAS FIRED
TWO DAYS BEFORE HIS PENSION STARTED,
AFTER 30 YEARS WITH THE COMPANY.
THE TIRE COMPANY MOVED OUT
AND WELCHED ON THEIR HEALTH CONTRACTS.
STU HANSON STILL NEEDS DIGITALIS.
YOU'RE WAY DOWN THE LINE.
I HAVE AN UNCLE IN DALLAS
WHO'D CALL YOU A BLEEDING HEART.
I DON'T GIVE A DIDDLY WHAT THEY CALL ME.
THE ORGAN MAY BLEED, BUT I'VE GOT ONE.
WELL.
I GUESS THAT'S THAT.
I'M SORRY I CAN'T MAKE YOU THE LOAN.
AH.
I'M ON THE VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT.
IF YOUR BARN BURNS, YOU'LL SEE ME.
WELL, IT JUST MIGHT...
FOR THE INSURANCE.
JAKE, WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
HOW MANY DO WE HAVE TO DO?
ALL OF THEM.
WELL, COME ON.
WIPE THE DIRT OFF.
JAKE, WE GOT A PROBLEM.
WE'RE COUNTING EVERY PENNY.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON.
YOU CAN'T BUY MAGAZINES.
WE'RE BROKE. WE'RE BUSTED.
WE GOT TO MAKE DO.
WE GOT TO WEAR IT OUT.
WE'RE ON OUR OWN.
WE'RE ON OUR OWN, PAL.
YOU AND ME, PAL.
OH!
WE GOT TWO PRETTY GOOD HEADS HERE.
WE'LL JUST PUT THEM TOGETHER, HUH?
WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
EXCUSE ME. DO YOU NEED A BOX BOY?
NO, HONEY, WE ALREADY GOT ONE.
YOU GOT A PAPER ROUTE I CAN HAVE?
HAVE YOU GOT A BICYCLE?
NO, SIR.
YOU CAN'T DELIVER PAPERS.
THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME, MR. JONES.
DO YOU NEED YOUR CAR WASHED FOR A DOLLAR?
NO ONE LAYS A HAND ON THAT CAR BUT ME.
HOLD IT A MINUTE, SON.
BESSIE, WOULD YOU HOLD DOWN THE FORT?
YOU DON'T SEE ANY GREASE IN THERE.
THIS CAR LOOKS THE SAME AS IT DID
IN THE SHOW ROOM IN .
LOOKS REAL CLEAN.
A DOCTOR COULD OPERATE IN THERE.
LOOK AT THAT UPHOLSTERY.
THAT'S THE ORIGINAL UPHOLSTERY.
RIGHT OVER THERE, THAT'S AN EIGHT-DAY CLOCK.
YOU SEE THIS?
THIS IS ETCHED GLASS.
ETCHED!
HERE IS A VASE FOR A ROSE.
WHAT KIND OF MILEAGE DO YOU GET?
HOP IN.
MEAN IT?
WE CAN GO FOR A RIDE.
DOES IT GO FASTER?
NO.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU WANT TO PASS?
I'M IN NO HURRY.
GIVE ME A RIDE.
BE HAPPY TO, MR. ABBOTT.
I'M SETTLED. LET'S GO.
MR. ABBOTT, THIS IS JAKE MORIARTY.
ABBOTT'S OUR OLDEST CITIZEN.
HI, THERE.
HI.
I'LL BE 89 IN SEPTEMBER.
HOW ARE YOU, MR. ABBOTT?
GONNA BE SOME CHANGES.
I'M GETTING MARRIED.
WELL, WHO'S THE LADY?
KATE COOPER. SHE'S FROM POINDEXTER.
I'M AFRAID I HAVEN'T HAD THE PLEASURE.
WELL, SHE'S OLD, LIKE I AM.
NOBODY WANTS HER, BUT I DO.
YOU GIVE HER MY BEST WISHES.
WE'LL GET ALONG.
WE HUG, KISS, STILL HAVE THOSE FEELINGS,
STILL KNOW HOW.
DON'T THINK YOU YOUNGSTERS GOT A MONOPOLY.
I'M SURE HEARTENED TO HEAR IT, MR. ABBOTT.
HEY, HEY!
YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST!
I DON'T WANT AN ACCIDENT.
WE'RE DOING 30 MILES AN HOUR.
IT'S TOO DANG FAST.
LET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'LL WALK.
DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU DRIVE, MURPHY.
IT'S GOOD NOT TO TAPER OFF.
COME EVERY AFTERNOON AT 5:00.
YOU CAN WASH GLASSES, $3.00 AN HOUR.
$3.50.
I SEE YOU TAKE AFTER YOUR MOTHER.
WHOA, BABY.
FREEMAN, PUTTING HIM UP TODAY?
BET YOUR SWEET "YES, MA'AM."
YOU BUYING YOURSELF SOMETHING?
I'M JUST WINDOW-SHOPPING.
BETTER SIT ON THE TRUCK.
HERE.
THANK YOU.
YOU COMING TO THE ELKS DANCE?
I'M NOT AN ELK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.
BY SATURDAY, I'M SOAKING MY FEET.
THEN I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
SEE YOU AROUND.
ALBERT'S A GOOD DANCER.
I'VE KNOWN A LOT OF THEM.
MEN BEEN GIVING YOU A LITTLE TROUBLE?
NOTHING BUT.
I'VE BEEN OUT OF THAT WAR FOR SOME TIME.
JAKE TELLS ME HE'S WASHING DISHES FOR YOU.
THAT'S MORE THAN HE DOES FOR ME.
THANKS.
GOOD MORNING TO YOU ALL.
AND I HOPE IT IS GOOD.
I'VE BROUGHT SOME BARGAINS AND SOME SURPRISES TODAY.
YOU FIGURE OUT WHICH IS WHICH.
LET'S DO SOME BUSINESS.
THE FIRST HORSES COME FROM MRS. DIMWITTY'S PLACE.
WE'LL START THIS BAY WITH A $100 BID.
$100.
KIND OF LIKE THE LOOK OF THAT ONE.
DON'T FALL IN LOVE. BOWED TENDONS.
THAT'S NOT GOOD?
THAT'S NOT GOOD.
ARE YOU SURE?
SOLD FOR $350.
MARCH HIM AROUND HERE REAL PRETTY.
HE'S PRETTY AS A SPECKLED PUP.
POPPED KNEES.
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT HIM.
LET'S HAVE THAT LITTLE OLD BLACK IN HERE NOW, BOYS.
GENTLE AS A PUPPY.
FISTULOUS WITHERS.
DON'T DISAPPOINT ME, BOYS.
LET'S START HIM OUT BIG.
BRING IN THAT BAY, BOYS.
HERE'S A GOOD-LOOKING ANIMAL.
THIS IS MRS. DIMWITTY'S FAVORITE LITTLE OLD HORSE.
PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST ANIMALS HERE.
BRING HIM ON AROUND HERE, BOYS.
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT HIM.
LET ME HEAR FROM YOU.
$100.
GOT 100, NEED 200, 200, 200, 2O0.
2.
I NEED 300.
4. I GOT 400.
5. I GOT 5, GIVE ME 6.
600.
I GOT 600. ANYBODY GIVE 7?
750.
DO I HEAR 8?
900.
$900 BID, NEED A THOU, NEED A THOU.
$1,000.
I'VE GOT A $1,000 BID.
$1,000. DO I HEAR ANY MORE?
DO I HEAR ANY ADVANCE?
SOLD TO THAT GENTLEMAN
ON THE FLAT-BED TRUCK.
HE STOLE IT WHILE YOU WERE SCRATCHING WHATEVER ITCHES.
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME A LOAN,
BUT YOU CAN COME UP WITH $1,000.
THE WIDOW'S MY COUSIN. BLOOD'S THICKER.
WHERE YOU KEEPING HIM?
WITH YOU.
OH.
WHOA.
THAT-A BOY.
GOOD BOY.
DON'T YOU EVER WORK?
I'M GETTING OTHER INTERESTS AT THIS TIME OF LIFE.
YEAH
I'M TAKING FRENCH LESSONS BY CORRESPONDENCE COURSE.
IT'S A LANGUAGE OF DIPLOMACY.
I'M WRITING A CHILI COOKBOOK.
I'M READING STONEWALL JACKSON'S LETTERS.
THAT SHOULD KEEP YOU YOUNG.
IT TAKES SOMETHING MORE THAN THAT.
LIKE WHAT?
SOMETHING THAT PUTS THE HEART BACK INTO YOU.
LIKE LOVING SOMEBODY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
GET OUT OF HERE!
GET OUT.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I AM IF YOU'RE INSURED.
I AIN'T.
YOU HAVING A LITTLE CRY?
WHAT FOR?
IT COSTS $3.00
FOR AN ASPIRIN TABLET IN HERE.
THEY'RE CHARGING ME $150 A NIGHT.
MY HEAD HURTS.
TAKE YOUR CHOICE.
OH, HERE.
BLOW YOUR NOSE.
IT COSTS A DOLLAR FOR THAT.
YOU CAN PAY FOR IT.
THINGS ARE PICKING UP AT YOUR PLACE.
OH, YEAH? HOW COME?
I PUT THE WORD OUT.
YOU'VE GOT A MARE,
ALBERT SAWSVILLE'S.
JIM FORREST LEFT A BAY.
AND COVERLY, FREEMAN.
FREEMAN LEFT A RUNTY LITTLE PIEBALD WITH YOU.
NOW IT LOOKS LIKE THE MAIN LINE'S BUSTED.
IT'LL BE OVER IN A MINUTE.
I'LL WAIT.
I'M JUST FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.
I'LL LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO TALK.
I'M SITTING HERE THINKING
I'M RAISING THIS KID BY MYSELF,
PROBABLY MAKING MISTAKES AND HE'LL BE RUINED.
I HAVE A CONCUSSION.
I'M 33, AND I'M LIVING LIKE A NUN.
LET'S WALK DOWN THE HALL.
I DON'T WANT TO.
LET'S DO IT ANYWAY.
JUST THROW YOUR FEET OUT HERE.
ARE THESE YOUR SLIPPERS?
YES.
ALL RIGHT, HERE.
THERE WE GO.
PUT YOUR FEET DOWN.
WE WON'T SET ANY RECORDS OR ANYTHING.
WE'LL JUST GO NICE AND EASY, HUH?
LET'S REVIEW YOUR TROUBLES.
YOU'RE RAISING A KID, DOING A GOOD JOB.
HE WASHES HIS HANDS
AFTER HE GOES TO THE BATHROOM.
YOUR CONCUSSION IS MILD.
YOU'RE 33?
THAT'S SEASONED, NOT SAGGING.
YOU'RE LIVING LIKE A NUN.
NEXT TIME YOU'RE ASKED, SAY YES.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
YOU ASKING ME ABOUT MY SEX LIFE?
YES, I AM.
OCCASIONALLY I GO TO PHOENIX.
THERE'S A LADY THERE
THAT GIVES ME DINNER...
AND BREAKFAST.
I WONDERED.
DID YOU, NOW?
ANY OF THEM YOURS?
I TOLD YOU, I GO OUT OF TOWN.
YOU FEELING BETTER?
YES.
I THINK YOU'LL MAKE IT.
YOUR COLOR'S GOOD, PROSPECTS ARE GOOD.
YOU GOT ONLY ONE PROBLEM.
YOUR NIGHTSHIRT IS OPEN DOWN THE BACK.
I CAME FOR MY ALLERGY SHOTS--
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PARADE ME DOWN MAIN STREET?
WELL, YOU SURE ARE A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES.
I THOUGHT I HAD ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
I'M NOT ADDING TO THEM.
I WANTED TO SEE YOU.
IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS.
BOBBY JACK, I'VE GOT ONE $10 BILL.
I'M NOT PUTTING THE BITE ON YOU.
I WANTED TO SEE YOUR BLUE EYES.
THEY'RE BROWN.
I MISSED YOU.
I HOPE YOU'RE PASSING THROUGH.
I HAD BAD NEWS.
MY OLD DADDY DIED.
I'M SO SORRY.
HE ATE HIS SUPPER, CLIMBED INTO BED, AND JUST WENT.
BOBBY JACK, I'M SO SORRY.
HE WAS A DEAR OLD MAN.
NOW YOU AND JAKE
ARE MY ONLY LIVING RELATIVES.
THE DIVORCE WAS FINAL.
DAD!
JAKE?
JAKE...
LOOK AT YOU.
COME HERE.
OH, BOY.
DAD.
DID YOU MISS ME?
YEAH. DID YOU MISS ME?
YEAH, I MISSED YOU.
DAD!
I MISSED YOU.
YOU'RE BACK.
YEAH, I'M BACK.
I'M BACK.
DAD.
THEN THE RECESSION HIT.
THE COUNTRY CLUB LOST A LOT OF MEMBERS,
AND THEY DIDN'T NEED A GOLF PRO ANYMORE.
I WAS IN FLAGSTAFF,
SELLING ADS FOR THE YELLOW PAGES.
I WENT TO BARTENDERS' SCHOOL.
I GOT A JOB IN PORTLAND,
BUT EVERYBODY'S DRINKING WHITE WINE THESE DAYS.
SO YOU'RE BROKE, HUH?
YOU'VE SHOT UP, STRING BEAN.
HE ALWAYS NEEDS NEW PANTS.
YOU GOT A MUSTACHE.
IT'S A TICKLER. YOU LIKE IT?
YEAH. YOU GOT A MOTORCYCLE, TOO.
THAT BIKE IS MORE FUN THAN A ROLLER COASTER.
I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING
BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU AGAIN,
PICK OUT SOMETHING JUST RIGHT.
I DON'T NEED ANYTHING.
DREAM SOMETHING UP. LET THE GENIE OUT.
HONEY, IT'S BEDTIME.
YOU GOING TO STAY?
I'D LIKE TO.
I'M ALL MOTELED OUT.
GOOD NIGHT, DAD.
JAKE, WHA...
THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE HERE.
OH, SORRY. GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, DEAR. SWEET DREAMS.
THANK YOU.
MY DADDY WANTED YOU TO HAVE THIS.
IT WAS MENTIONED IN THE WILL.
YOU SHOULD KEEP IT.
HE LOVED YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
WELL, IT STARTED OUT THAT WAY.
REMEMBER THE BACK SEAT TO THE '59 CHEVY?
THE ONE THAT GOT REPOSSESSED?
YEAH.
WHILE WE HAD IT, WE USED IT.
I WAS 16. I'M 33.
I'M OLDER, TOO, AND TRYING TO GET SMARTER.
HAVING ANY LUCK?
I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON.
ARE YOU?
I'M A BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN.
MY GOSH! I HOPE THEY DON'T PASS YOU THE COLLECTION PLATE.
THAT'S NOT KIND, EMMA.
THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE WANTS YOU.
YOU DIDN'T FILE YOUR INCOME TAX.
I'VE SEEN THEM.
YOUR DAMN CHECKS BOUNCED.
THIS LEOPARD IS TRYING TO CHANGE HIS SPOTS.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
THE BOY IS REAL GLAD TO SEE ME.
WELL, THAT'S BLACKMAIL.
IF YOU CAN TELL ME THAT THE FIRE'S OUT,
THAT THERE'S NOT ONE TINY SPARK LEFT BETWEEN US,
I'LL TIP MY HAT
AND GET BACK ON THE MOTORCYCLE.
I DIVORCED YOU.
AND YOU CRIED ON THE COURTHOUSE STEPS.
I COULD SLEEP WITH LITTLE JAKE.
I HAVEN'T SAID YOU CAN STAY.
WHY WERE YOU NEVER AS GOOD ON YOUR FEET AS IN BED?
WELL, I WILL BE. YOU'LL SEE.
THERE'S ONE BATHROOM IN THIS HOUSE.
I USE IT FIRST.
HOWDY.
WHAT A DAY, HUH?
IT'S SUPPOSED TO HIT 80.
YOU THE HIRED HAND?
NO, SON, I'M NOT.
I JUST STABLE MY HORSE HERE.
I'M THE HUSBAND.
CONGRATULATIONS.
BEEN AWAY SERVING YOUR COUNTRY OR SOMETHING?
WE GOT DIVORCED.
DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU AN EX
WHEN YOUR FOOT'S IN THE DOOR,
IT'S HARD TO CLOSE IT.
I'M SUPPOSED TO CLEAN THE STABLE.
THAT OUGHT TO GET YOU STARTED.
WHAT DO I DO?
I'M A CITY BOY.
IF I WERE YOU,
I'D ROLL UP MY PANTS AND WALK TIPTOE.
NEXT?
HOOF PICK, CURRYCOMB, BODY BRUSH, DANDY BRUSH,
MANE AND TAIL COMB, GROOMING CLOTH.
THEY SHOULD ALL LOOK
LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO SUNDAY SCHOOL.
NEXT?
FEED THEM A LITTLE CORN, OATS,
MIXED WITH A LITTLE MOLASSES.
OH, SORRY.
NEXT? TEETH.
TEETH?
TEETH.
GET A FLASHLIGHT.
YOU OPEN THE HORSE'S MOUTH,
PUSH THE TONGUE ASIDE,
LOOK AT ALL THE MOLARS ON EACH SIDE.
I WARN YOU, SOME HORSES RESIST THIS PROCEDURE.
CAUGHT YOU LOOKING.
YOU MEAN TO STAND THERE AND TELL ME
YOU WON'T EAT IT
UNLESS I CUT IT UP FOR YOU?
ALL RIGHT. HERE.
COME ON. COME ON.
OH, NOT MY FINGERS.
YO, MURPH. YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PLUMBING?
IT'S NECESSARY.
COULD YOU UNCLOG A TOILET?
PROBABLY. IT WOULDN'T BE MY FIRST PRIORITY.
THE PLUMBER CAN'T GET HERE TILL WEDNESDAY.
IT MIGHT BE THE BALL COCK.
MOST PROBLEMS START THERE.
I TOOK IT APART BUT CAN'T GET IT BACK TOGETHER.
I'VE DONE THIS SINCE THE DAYS OF PULLING THE CHAIN.
BOARDWALK!
OH.
HE TRIED.
THESE THINGS ARE TRICKY.
HE'S HERE BECAUSE HE'S OUT OF WORK.
TIMES ARE TOUGH.
I REMEMBER DURING THE DEPRESSION-- THE REAL ONE--
20, 30 MEN A DAY CAME BY.
MAMA TOOK THEM IN AND FED THEM ALL.
THAT'S ALL I'M DOING.
I'LL NEED SOME PLIERS.
RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
WELL, IT'S WORKING.
SOMEBODY THREW A CIGAR BUTT DOWN THERE.
ARE YOU SMOKING?
MURPHY, STAY TO DINNER?
WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I DON'T HAVE MUCH APPETITE.
YOU WANT MILK OR BEER?
BEER.
THOUSAND ISLAND OR ITALIAN?
ITALIAN.
FRENCH FRIES?
IF YOU GOT THEM.
IF ANYBODY'S LISTENING, I'LL TAKE THOUSAND ISLAND,
I DON'T WANT FRIES,
AND BEER WOULD BE FINE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.
CAN I HAVE BEER?
IN ABOUT FIVE YEARS.
WE HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED.
I'M BOBBY JACK MORIARTY.
MURPHY JONES.
YOU SEEM TO BE PRETTY HANDY, MURPHY.
WELL, I TINKER A BIT.
THE QUESTION IS, "WHAT WITH?"
MOST ANYTHING.
I COULD SEW MRS. MORIARTY HERE A DRESS.
I COULD CUT IT, HEM IT,
AND PUT IN A ZIPPER.
GIVE ME A BUTTERICK PATTERN, AND YOU GOT IT.
YOU ONE OF THOSE FUNNY FELLOWS?
NO.
THE ONLY SON OF A WIDOWED MOTHER.
HEY, MURPH!
JOIN US FOR FRANKFURTERS AND SAUERKRAUT?
I COULD EAT THREE OR FOUR.
THEY'RE ON.
STEW?
IS THAT BEEF OR LAMB?
BEEF.
THAT'S MY PREFERENCE.
CHILI.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW SOMETHING.
DON'T STEP ON THE WET FLOOR!
HOW COME THAT OLD GEEZER FINISHES RIDING
JUST AS WE'RE STARTING SUPPER
AND ENDS UP AT OUR TABLE?
I THINK HE TIMES IT THAT WAY.
CUT.
WHAT'S THE GAME?
FIVE-CARD DRAW, NOTHING WILD.
ANTE UP.
OK, I'M IN.
CHECK.
IT'LL COST TWO MATCH STICKS.
SEE YOU.
CALL.
I'M IN.
HOW MANY?
THREE.
HOW UNFORTUNATE.
ONE...
AND LOOK OUT.
ONE.
I'LL TAKE FOUR.
FOUR?
FOUR.
OH, I'LL PLAY THESE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'LL CHECK.
I'LL BET THREE--
AHEM.
WHOSE BET?
YOURS.
OH.
LET'S TEST FOR GAS.
I BET 20.
THE LIMIT IS 10!
ALL RIGHT! THEN I BET 10.
I HAVE THIS STRONG CONVICTION
WE'LL GET CLOBBERED BY A HIGH FLUSH. I FOLD.
YOU CHASED ME OFF.
SHE'S BLUFFING.
I CALL YOU.
THIS HOUSE IS ABOUT AS FULL AS THEY COME.
TWO GENTS. THREE LADIES.
READ 'EM AND WEEP.
I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK!
ALL NIGHT, I DON'T SEE ANYTHING,
THEN WHAMMO!
I'LL MAKE ROOT BEER FLOATS.
WATCH THIS. DON'T TRUST THEM.
THANKS FOR BRINGING THE ICE CREAM.
I'VE MOOCHED LOTS OF MEALS LATELY.
WE'VE TAKEN YOU OUT OF CIRCULATION.
WHAT DO THE LADIES IN TOWN SAY?
THEY'RE HANGING OVER THE BACK FENCES.
I GUESS THEY NEED SOMETHING TO GOSSIP ABOUT.
THEY DO LIKE SOMETHING TO CHEW ON.
0F COURSE, THEY KNOW MY HUSBAND'S BACK.
MMM-HMM.
THEY THINK THREE IS A REAL INTERESTING NUMBER.
OK, WE GOT 6, 10, JACK,
4, 10, 8, QUEEN--
OH... 3 OF DIAMONDS.
LOOK OUT FOR THIS GUY.
9 OF SPADES. WHO KNOWS?
ACE HIGH BETS... SO, FIVE.
I'M OUT. CALL.
I'LL CALL.
5 0F CLUBS. NOTHING THERE.
AND...
4 0F CLUBS. BUSTED FLUSH.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
PAIR OF BULLETS.
LET'S STEP OUTSIDE, HUH?
SHOULDN'T WE FINISH THE GAME?
WE'LL GET TO IT.
MISTER, YOU'RE CHEATING.
YOU'RE DEALING OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE DECK.
WE'RE PLAYING FOR MATCH STICKS.
IT'S A BAD HABIT.
LOSE IT WHILE YOU'RE AROUND HERE.
WHAT WILL WE TELL THEM ABOUT COMING OUT HERE?
TELL THEM YOU WON THE PISSING CONTEST.
THAT ONE WITH THE LEATHER STRAP.
THIS ONE?
YEAH.
OK, NOW...
IT DOESN'T SIT RIGHT.
YOUR EARS JUT OUT.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH A BASEBALL CAP?
I'M TRYING TO MAKE HIM FIT IN.
WESTERN COUNTRY CALLS FOR A COWBOY HAT.
LET ME SEE THAT.
IT'S GOT SOME SNAP TO IT.
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
$49.50.
OK, LET'S LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
I WANT ONE JUST LIKE THIS.
AREN'T YOU GETTING TIRED OF THAT SHIRT?
DON'T TRY SWITCHING ME OFF IT.
THIS IS MY SHIRT.
YOU'RE OUT OF STYLE.
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.
OH, GOOD EVENING.
HELLO.
IT SEEMS TO JUST SIT THERE.
MAYBE IT NEEDS A DIFFERENT CREASE.
IT'S HOW YOU WEAR IT THAT MATTERS.
WEAR IT BACK ON YOUR HEAD,
THAT MEANS YOU LIKE PEOPLE
AND YOU GOT ALL DAY.
TIPPED ON THE SIDE MEANS YOU'RE A ROOSTER
AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A LADY OR A FIGHT.
WEAR IT LOW ON YOUR FOREHEAD,
THAT MEANS GET OFF THE SIDEWALK
AND CLEAR A PATH
BECAUSE YOU'RE COCKED AND READY TO FIRE.
WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES.
I HAVEN'T BEEN SINCE THE DUKE DIED.
WHAT?
WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM?
AHHH!
OH, MY GOD!
AHHH!
I ONCE WORKED IN A SLAUGHTERHOUSE.
WHY PAY GOOD MONEY TO SEE IT AGAIN?
SURE WAS BLOODY.
THEY USE KETCHUP.
THEY FAKE EVERYTHING OUT THERE.
WANT A LIFESAVER?
I SAW WHAT DAD DID WHILE WE PLAYED CARDS.
MAYBE IT'S A GOOD THING YOU DID.
HE DID IT TWICE.
TAKE AFTER HIM OR NOT.
IT'S UP TO YOU.
WE'RE GETTING A GOOD LOOK AT THE SKY TONIGHT.
SEE THAT?
THAT'S THE NORTH STAR.
BEFORE THEY HAD COMPASSES OR SEXTANTS,
THEY CROSSED THE OCEAN JUST BY FOLLOWING THAT.
ISN'T THAT REMARKABLE?
YUCK!
I'M SICK TO MY STOMACH.
$3.00 FOR HUMAN HAMBURGER.
HAVE A MINT.
THANKS.
WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?
THURSDAY NIGHT BINGO.
BINGO?
YOU'RE KIDDING! THAT'S GREAT!
COULD YOU GET US IN?
I'VE PAID MY DUES. I GUESS I CAN.
I LIKE BINGO.
I NEVER WON, BUT I LIKE BINGO.
O-72.
SEVEN...TWO.
B-11.
ONE...ONE.
H-43.
WE'RE PLAYING HINGO?
N-43.
FOUR...THREE.
I GOT IT! BINGO!
AWWW! OHHH!
MISSED IT BY ONE.
THERE'S TIME. I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE.
N-42, G-47, AND 0-69.
IT'S CORRECT. HE'S A WINNER.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER WINNERS?
IF NOT, I DECLARE THIS GAME COMPLETED.
JONAS, YOU WON $68.
BUY YOUR WIFE SOME BLACK STOCKINGS.
I'M BANKING IT.
THERE WILL BE A FIVE-MINUTE BREAK.
THE BAR IS OPEN.
BE RIGHT BACK.
HI.
IT'S HOT IN THERE.
I GUESS IT'S JUST MY TIME OF LIFE.
NO, IT'S HOT.
YOU KNOW, I THINK MURPHY'S GAINING WEIGHT.
YOU MUST BE A GOOD COOK.
WELL, I WOULDN'T WIN ANY CONTESTS.
HE PROBABLY JUST VISITS YOU FOR THE COMPANY.
HE SURE SEEMS CHEERED UP.
I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM DOWN.
HE WAS A WRECK.
HE WAS DRUNK THE FIRST YEAR.
NEVER SPOKE TO A SOUL THE SECOND.
CRAZY ABOUT HIS WIFE.
WAS SHE SICK FOR VERY LONG?
NOT A DAY IN HER LIFE.
SHE TURNED TO SAY SOMETHING,
AND SHE DROPPED DEAD.
O-72.
SEVEN...TWO.
I-19.
YOU DON'T HAVE IT.
ONE...NINE.
OH, I HAVE IT.
N-40.
I DON'T HAVE ANY.
THAT'S THE WORST CARD.
OH, WAIT, I HAVE THAT.
0-75.
SEVEN...FIVE.
OH, I HAVE THIS.
N-37.
YOU DON'T HAVE THAT.
THREE...SEVEN.
AHHH! BINGO!
BINGO! I GOT BINGO!
HENRY, CHECK THE LITTLE LADY.
WHAT DO I GET?
WAIT TILL WE'RE SURE YOU'RE THE RIGHT ONE.
SHE'S GOT N-36.
N-36!
N-37.
N-37!
THE FREE SPOT, N-40, AND N-35.
SHE'S GOT THEM ALL.
I'VE GOT THEM ALL!
ARE THERE ANY OTHER WINNERS?
IF NOT, I DECLARE THIS GAME COMPLETED.
WHAT DO I WIN?
THE NIGHT'S BIGGEST POT!
YEAH?
$200.
OH, MY !
$200!
I WON $200! I WON $200!
I'LL HAVE TO BRING YOU HERE MORE OFTEN.
WHERE DID YOU GO?
THAT GUY GOT IT WITH A HATCHET!
IT SPLIT HIS SKULL LIKE A MELON.
I WON $200 AT TIC-TAC-BING0!
MAKES UP FOR THE MONEY THAT DISAPPEARED.
WELL, THAT'S GREAT!
I'M RUNNING A LITTLE SHORT.
COULD YOU LOAN ME 20?
GOOD BOY, PRIMROSE.
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
FOR YOU.
14 CASES OF BEER?
WE'RE THROWING A BARBECUE.
FOR WHO?
THE WHOLE DAMN TOWN.
WE'LL CELEBRATE OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
I DON'T CELEBRATE THAT ANYMORE.
WELL, I DO. MAY 21st.
WE WERE MARRIED ON THE 15th.
YOU JUST WANTED A PARTY.
LIFE'S SHORT!
YOU GOT IT!
GET GOING, BOY!
ALL RIGHT, JAKE!
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S MY BOY!
THAT'S JAKE MORIARTY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
NEED A REFILL, SHERIFF?
HOW ABOUT YOU?
THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.
YOU FELLOWS NEED SOME MORE BEER?
NO.
SUSIE OR BETH?
I CAN'T TELL YOU TWO APART.
SOME OF THE BOYS WANTED SOMETHING A LITTLE STRONGER.
SHOULD I CLEAN WHAT YOU DON'T?
GIVE IT BACK.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
I DO.
I KNOW WHO HERBERT HOOVER WAS.
I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER.
YOU'RE AS BAD AS A WOMAN.
YOU WON'T TELL ME, WILL YOU?
NOPE. YOU MISSED ANOTHER ONE.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE RUNNING OUT.
WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND WERE YOU, MURPHY?
I DON'T KNOW THAT I WAS EASY TO LIVE WITH.
I DON'T DEMONSTRATE EVERYTHING I FEEL.
I WAS A LITTLE TIGHT ABOUT MONEY.
THEY SAY ONE GOOD MARRIAGE CAN LEAD TO ANOTHER.
NO, THEY'RE RARE.
I KNOW.
I WAS SURPRISED SOMEONE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME.
WHY? DON'T YOU LIKE YOURSELF?
YES. I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE CONTAGIOUS.
YOU'RE A BIG HELP IN THE KITCHEN.
FINISH THOSE DISHES, DAD?
STILL AT IT, SON.
YOU TWO TALK A LOT, DON'T YOU, DAD?
WE EXCHANGE A FEW WORDS, SON.
COULD WE SEVER THIS FAMILY RELATIONSHIP?
I WOULDN'T BE HAPPY
IF I WERE YOUR DAD.
I THINK YOU'RE BANGING EMMA.
"BANGING." KIND OF AN UGLY EXPRESSION
FOR THAT PARTICULAR PLEASURE.
ISN'T THAT WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WOULDN'T TAKE THAT UP WITH YOU.
I'M TAKING IT UP WITH YOU.
YOU ARE A MISERABLE LITTLE SON OF A BITCH.
I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE TOOK YOU IN.
YOU MAY BE YOUNGER AND STRONGER,
BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED,
BY MY BOOTS.
YOU'RE A FEISTY OLD BUGGER.
I THOUGHT WE JUST SETTLED THAT.
* I LOVE YOU MORE
* THAN THE MORNING LOVES THE FLOWERS *
* THAN THE OCEAN
* LOVES THE SHORE
* THAN A DAY LOVES THE HOURS *
* I WILL LOVE YOU LONGER
* THAN THE DESERT SKY IS LONELY *
* OH, YOU CAN BELIEVE ME *
* I LOVE YOU ONLY
SOMETIMES IT FELT LIKE I HAD TWO KIDS.
* I LOVE YOU ONLY *
I'M CUTTING IN.
I SEE YOU HAVE LEGS.
YOU CHANGED YOUR SHIRT.
NICE LEGS.
NICE SHIRT.
YOU OUGHT TO BE OUT OF WIND BY NOW.
1, 2... 1, 2, 3.
I CAME TO DANCE.
DON'T HOG.
IT'S COME AROUND TO ME AGAIN.
I MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE.
WAIT A MINUTE!
HOW ABOUT IF THE TWO OF YOU DANCE TOGETHER?
CARE TO?
I'LL LEAD. WATCH YOUR TOES.
MURPHY!
MACARONI AND CHEESE!
NO, THANK YOU.
I COULD DEFROST A T-BONE.
I'M CUTTING DOWN ON RED MEAT.
WAFFLES?
I HAD THEM FOR BREAKFAST.
TOMATO SOUP?
I'VE GOT A BRIDGE GAME. MARGARET'S WAITING.
JAKE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT ABOUT?
I DON'T KNOW. HE WOULDN'T SAY.
I'LL GIVE HIM A COUPLE MINUTES.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HE DIDN'T SAY.
HE JUST WANTS TO TALK.
SURPRISE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MURPHY!
NOBODY'S THROWN ME A PARTY SINCE I WENT TO WAR.
WHICH WAR'S THAT?
CRIMEAN.
MARGARET, YOU'RE GUILTY OF DUPLICITY.
I WAS AFRAID YOU'D JUST COME TO MY HOUSE.
WHO PLANNED THIS?
MARGARET AND I. WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW.
NO. I'M BOWLED OVER.
BESSIE, WHO'S MINDING THE STORE?
IT'S SHUT UP TIGHT,
AND DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT.
YOU LOGGED IN ANOTHER ONE.
THEY'RE COMING FASTER.
STILL GOT HAIR.
BUT LOST MY GALLBLADDER.
OPEN UP MY PRESENT.
SURE, JAKE.
WE'VE GOT PUNCH AND CAKE.
MARGARET, WOULD YOU SERVE?
UH, MURPHY?
MURPHY, COULD I TALK TO YOU IN THE KITCHEN?
YEAH.
JAKE, HERE. I'LL DO THIS LATER.
HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.
PUT IT ON THE TABLE.
THIS HAS BECOME A SECOND HOME TO ME,
AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR IT.
YOU SHOULD GET MARRIED AGAIN.
WHEN I'M READY.
WHEN'S THAT?
ONE OF THESE DAYS.
SOMEBODY AROUND HERE?
PROBABLY.
I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER PARTY.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN.
OK, MURPHY, THIS IS IT.
HOW MANY CANDLES GO ON YOUR CAKE?
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
JUST SET THE DAMN THING ON FIRE.
A CAN OF CAR WAX FROM JAKE.
THANK YOU, SON.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
THIS IS FROM ME, MURPH.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
A BLACK TIE.
THAT WILL COME IN REAL HANDY AT FUNERALS.
AND MARGARET'S CHERRIES.
NOBODY PUTS THEM UP BETTER.
WELL, BE CAREFUL.
THERE MAY BE SOME PITS IN THERE.
ALL RIGHT!
WHOO!
GOLLY! LOOK AT THAT!
THERE YOU GO!
GET IT IN ONE GO, MURPH.
ALL RIGHT.
GO, MURPHY!
COME ON!
GO! GO! GO!
YAY!
DO YOU WANT ME TO CUT IT?
NO, I'LL SLICE IT.
WELL...
I'VE KNOWN SOME OF YOU ALL MY LIFE.
I KISSED MARGARET BEHIND THE BARN
WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD.
I GOT FREEMAN'S BLOOD IN ME.
HE GAVE A PINT OR TWO WHEN I NEEDED IT.
MY FRIENDS HAVE OVERLOOKED MY SHORTCOMINGS
AND SEEN ME THROUGH DARK DAYS
AND BRIGHTENED UP THE REST.
I'M HONORED AND LUCKY TO HAVE THEM.
WHO WANTS THE FIRST SLICE?
ME.
JAKE.
THANKS.
OK.
HMMM.
BEND YOUR KNEES, OR YOU'LL GET A HERNIA.
AAH!
BOBBY JACK!
WILL YOU GET OFF ME!
WELL, THAT'S WHAT HAY'S FOR,
TO HAVE A ROLL IN.
I SEEM TO BE ALLERGIC TO--
SOMETHING.
OH!
HOW COME YOU'RE HERE?
I WANT TO TALK.
YOU SAW THE DISH I BROKE.
NO, I DIDN'T.
THAT'S BECAUSE I GLUED IT TOGETHER.
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T SEE IT.
I'M GOING TO ASK YOUR DAD TO LEAVE.
WHAT DID HE DO?
WE'RE NOT MARRIED ANYMORE,
AND WE CAN'T LIVE TOGETHER LIKE WE'RE MARRIED.
HE WANTS TO.
SO HE'S GOING.
YES.
I WANT TO WALK HOME.
YOU SURE HAVE HAD A SHORT CHILDHOOD.
THIS IS LARRY, AND THIS IS LINUS.
THEY'RE TWINS,
AND THEY'RE MINE.
KIND OF FUNNY, YOU KNOW.
I KEEP, UH... I KEEP GETTING BOYS.
OH, EMMA, THIS IS WANDA,
AND SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE FROM TULSA.
IT'S A LONG WAY TO DRIVE WITH TWO BABIES.
YES, MA'AM.
PLEASE JUST CALL ME EMMA.
ARE YOU A DAY OVER 17?
I'M 18.
HOW COME YOU GOT PREGNANT?
FORGOT TO DO SOMETHING.
HE'S ALWAYS IN SUCH A RUSH.
WELL, THEY'RE GOING TO NEED A LAST NAME.
THAT'S UP TO BOBBY JACK.
DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.
HOPE WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN.
TAKE A CLASS IN SHORTHAND OR TYPING.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT NEED IT.
I JUST WANT TO STAY AT HOME WITH MY BABIES.
WELL, AT LEAST HE LIKES KIDS.
DON'T TAKE MY HEAD OFF.
THIS ISN'T A TRAFFIC TICKET YOU CAN JUST TEAR UP.
I KNOW.
I KNOW IT.
WE HAD A HEAT WAVE,
AND SHE'S WEARING A LITTLE TANK TOP,
AND WE SAT LICKING THE SAME ICE CREAM--
DON'T TELL ME THE DETAILS.
THERE YOU GO!
I CAN SEE YOU SETTIN' YOUR JAW.
EMMA, NOBODY IS PERFECT.
BOBBY JACK, YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN CLOSE.
WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH GOOD TIMES YET, EMMA.
WELL, THE PARTY'S OVER, MY FRIEND.
SOMEBODY JUST HANDED YOU THE CHECK,
SO PICK UP THE TAB!
DOES EVERYBODY HAVE TO?
MOST PEOPLE DO, YES.
SELL YOUR MOTORCYCLE, BOBBY JACK.
SIGN A LEASE ON A HOUSE.
PUT SOME MONEY IN A COLLEGE FUND.
BUT I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, EMMA.
HOW'D IT GO?
I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.
YES, YOU WILL.
SOME GIRL WILL FIND YOU AND NEVER LET YOU GO.
THIS IS LARRY, AND THIS IS LINUS.
OR THIS IS LINUS, AND THIS IS LARRY.
THEY'RE YOUR BROTHERS.
HAVE A SEAT.
WAVE BYE-BYE.
BYE-BYE!
JAKE, KEEP LOOKING IN THAT MAILBOX.
THERE'LL BE SOMETHING THERE FOR YOU.
MAKE ME SOMETHING, MURPHY.
HOW ABOUT A CHOCOLATE SODA?
ALL CHOCOLATE.
HE CAME BY ON HIS WAY OUT OF TOWN.
BOUGHT SOME DIAPERS AND BABY POWDER.
I'M IN SUCH A FUNNY MOOD.
WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFE, MURPHY?
GET ON WITH IT.
SHOULD I GET RID OF THE RANCH?
SHOULD I DYE MY HAIR?
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL.
I'VE DONE A LOT OF DUMB THINGS.
I MARRIED TOO YOUNG.
I MARRIED THE WRONG GUY.
I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE.
SPILT MILK.
GIVE ME SOME ADVICE, MURPHY.
YOU'VE LIVED A LONG TIME.
YOU WANT ADVICE? WRITE "DEAR ABBY"!
TAKE YOUR PROBLEMS TO YOUR LOCAL MINISTER
OR THE MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC.
I'M NOT A LIFEGUARD,
AND I'M NOT YOUR DAMN DUTCH UNCLE!
IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THINGS ARE,
YOU'RE NOT AS SMART AS I THOUGHT.
GOOD EVENING, MURPHY.
GOOD EVENING.
IT'S GOING TO BE A LOVELY NIGHT, ISN'T IT?
YES, IT IS.
HAVE A NICE RIDE?
WELL, YES, I DID.
IT'S GOING TO BE A HANDSOME MOON.
DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO RAIN?
NO, IT'S DRY THIS TIME OF YEAR.
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER?
YOU ARE.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
TAKE ANOTHER TACK, EMMA.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TACK TO TAKE.
I'LL HELP YOU.
SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE BOYS, EMMA.
I SHOW SOME WEAR,
BUT IF FRUIT HANGS ON THE TREE LONG ENOUGH, IT GETS RIPE.
I'M DURABLE, I'M STEADY,
AND I'M FAITHFUL.
I'M IN LOVE FOR THE LAST TIME IN MY LIFE.
I'M IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.
SO?
SO...
STAY TO SUPPER, MURPHY?
NOT UNLESS I'M STILL HERE AT BREAKFAST.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I'M 60.
* SEEMS FUNNY NOW
* TO THINK OF HOW I CALL YOU UP *
* AND TALK ABOUT ALL THE LITTLE THINGS *
* THAT WERE ON MY MIND
* YOU WERE A FRIEND
* YOU LISTENED TO ALL I DREAMED OF *
* I WANTED A REAL LOVE
* THE GOOD OLD-FASHIONED KIND *
* IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG
* YOU WHO KEPT ME STRONG
* I WONDER HOW I COULD HAVE BEEN SO BLIND *
* YOU KISSED ME LIKE A LOVER
* LOVED ME LIKE A FRIEND
* AND I KNEW LOVE FOR THE LAST TIME *
* I GOT BURNED
* SEEMS LIKE EVERYBODY DOES
* BY ROMANCE