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Subtitles by demonseye

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- Hi.
- Hi.

4
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Hi.

5
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- You-you must be, um...
- Bill.

6
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- Yeah.
- Hi.

7
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Hi. Becky. Hi.

8
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Thanks for having dinner so early.
I know it's a... it's a pain.

9
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Oh, no, that's... that's, uh...

10
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Interesting crowd.

11
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Yeah. My job is the problem.

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I'm... I work at
"Good Morning, New Jersey" and...

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- Right, on Channel Nine. Right?
- Right. Yeah.

14
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So, yeah, we're on really early, so I...
I go to bed really early and...

15
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we used to be on at, um, 5 a.m.,
but then we got bought by this, um,

16
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giant company and they wanted
to run us instead of infomercials.

17
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Cause we generate
slightly more revenue and, um...

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Now we're on at four.

19
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Sorry, I'm gonna turn this off.
It's so...

20
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Sorry. That's like, oh, my God,
that's so annoying

21
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when people do this.
It's like "check, please".

22
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I'm not gonna touch this...
ever again. Sorry.

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No, that's, it's... it's okay.

24
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It's okay.

25
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I, uh...

26
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I'm... I'm really glad that
you picked this place. I...

27
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You know, it kind of reminds me
of Matthews in Waldwick?

28
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They have the most amazing, like,
delicious, thick, big, juicy...

29
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Lots of... Belgian waffles
and syrup in the...

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And, um...

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- Anyway... boring!
- Oh...

32
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What do you do?

33
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- Anna told me that you're in...
- Marketing.

34
00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:05,433
- Right.
- For... an insurance company,

35
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and I, uh, dabble in... ceramics,
but, um...

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Take it.

37
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Sorry, it's... I...
Uh, this is my boss.

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- Go ahead. Take it.
- Really?

39
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- Yeah.
- Okay, great, thanks. Um...

40
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Just be a sec. Promise.

41
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Hi! Yeah, um, yeah.

42
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Um, yeah, I left three messages
for his attorney. I don't know.

43
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If he doesn't call me back, I'm gonna...
I'll wait outside his office.

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- Good morning, Becky.
- 'Night, Jim.

45
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<i>Good morning, New Jersey,
it's 2 a.m.</i>

46
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<i>We cover the Garden State
from corner to corner.</i>

47
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<i>...it's the perfect alternative...</i>

48
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<i>New Jersey Transit is reporting
a 20-minute delay...</i>

49
00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:00,824
<i>...come out in support
of your local eateries.</i>

50
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<i>Powerball Lottery Jackpot...</i>

51
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<i>Right in the base...</i>

52
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Yes, but I did it in
a really adorable way.

53
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Rent a mini-rig. Cheaper and we can
get closer to the action.

54
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I was thinking we'd get someone
in the winner's circle.

55
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A pieata?
You can do the pieata?

56
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- I can do it.
- Yeah? Okay.

57
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- Four... three...
- Thank you, thank you.

58
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Ready to dissolve to jib.
Jib, ready to make your move.

59
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Ten seconds to air,
everybody.

60
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Ready to roll track
and fade up under one.

61
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...three, two... one.

62
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Roll track and
fade up under one.

63
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Well, good morning, New Jersey.
4:38 if you're just waking up.

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<i>A quick look at traffic now.</i>

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<i>Holland Tunnel is still backed up
cause of an overturned big rig</i>

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<i>in the right and center lanes.</i>

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Officials say this should be cleared up
in about an hour.

68
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<i>So then, expect delays
from Ridgefield Park.</i>

69
00:03:59,790 --> 00:04:02,054
<i>- But until then, you should...
- Is that snoring?</i>

70
00:04:02,192 --> 00:04:04,456
Oh, Jesus. Not again. Can you
go to the single of Ralph, please?

71
00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:05,857
- Harry, Harry.
- The Deko!

72
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,429
- Wrong lower third!
- The Deko!

73
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... the hidden dangers
that could be in your home.

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All that and a look at sports
at the top of the hour.

75
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:15,796
Stick with us here
at "Good Morning, New Jersey".

76
00:04:15,939 --> 00:04:17,067
Oh, my God.

77
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- Nice shot, Fred. You're a stud.
- No problemo.

78
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<i>Rain will fall
when you go to the mall</i>

79
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Later will clear,
the sun will appear

80
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Overnight low is 50
Move your rear

81
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Hey, ho, whoo!

82
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- Hey.
- Hi.

83
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:34,054
Hey, I talked to Raymond in HR.
He said the company's reorganizing

84
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:38,651
all the stations and they've budgeted
us for a new senior producer.

85
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They pulled your employment records.
You're getting it, Becky.

86
00:04:44,187 --> 00:04:45,968
You're finally getting the job.

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Hey, kiddo, can you, uh, come
by my office after the show?

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- Oh, me.
- No, not me, you.

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Yes.

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<i>The puppy, a Chinese crested, is worth
over 600 dollars and answers to the...</i>

91
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,585
Make your move, jib,
make your move...

92
00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:10,922
And in Newark today,
police arrested 12 members of...

93
00:05:19,871 --> 00:05:22,203
What? What's going on?
What is that?

94
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:24,205
We thought
you might need this.

95
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That better not be a box of condoms
again and I didn't even use the old one.

96
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No, you're gonna use this.

97
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Oh, my God.

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- Congratulations.
- Congrats.

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That's so sweet.

100
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Becky,
we have to let you go.

101
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I'm really sorry
about this, kiddo.

102
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Corporate wants us
to reduce our overhead.

103
00:05:54,138 --> 00:05:57,631
We're having to make big cuts and they
want me to hire a senior producer

104
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with more business experience to
manage the contraction of the show.

105
00:06:00,646 --> 00:06:02,876
But wait a second. You told them
you can't do that, right?

106
00:06:03,015 --> 00:06:06,143
Because I... I've been here so long
and I've worked so hard.

107
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His name is Chip.

108
00:06:08,187 --> 00:06:11,748
He's... Chip starts Monday.

109
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He has an M.B.A. and
a journalism degree from Columbia.

110
00:06:15,094 --> 00:06:18,655
They're grooming him to run
the whole station in a few years.

111
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In the meantime, I can't afford
to keep you both.

112
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- Becky, look, I'm really...
- Oh, shit.

113
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Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Shitty...

114
00:06:32,311 --> 00:06:36,213
Becky, I... I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.

115
00:06:36,348 --> 00:06:39,511
- I fought them as hard as I could.
- There's lots of terrific

116
00:06:39,651 --> 00:06:43,553
opportunities out there, you know?
I mean, look at... Chip. He got one.

117
00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:46,590
So, maybe this is just the push
I need, you know?

118
00:06:46,725 --> 00:06:50,024
So it can get me to the next level,
maybe even to... to a network or...

119
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- Yeah.
- I mean, it's... it's not like

120
00:06:52,531 --> 00:06:55,261
it's my whole life.
It's only work, right?

121
00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:03,166
Did you get any severance?

122
00:07:05,944 --> 00:07:08,139
There were some budgetary cuts
last year,

123
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:11,250
so they weren't really offering.

124
00:07:11,451 --> 00:07:14,352
But I have feelers out. Lots.

125
00:07:14,487 --> 00:07:16,751
Yeah, great.
Honey, you think the "Today Show"

126
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:19,916
is gonna call you up and hand you a job,
and you have since you were eight,

127
00:07:20,059 --> 00:07:22,994
- and it's not gonna happen.
- I don't, I know that, I do, I get it.

128
00:07:23,129 --> 00:07:26,587
This is partly my fault. I...

129
00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:29,620
I let your father
get your hopes up.

130
00:07:30,603 --> 00:07:34,812
He was not a happy person,
let's face it.

131
00:07:35,108 --> 00:07:37,975
When he saw you aim high, he started
to feel better about himself,

132
00:07:38,111 --> 00:07:40,705
- so I never said anything.
- What are you saying?

133
00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:43,441
You had a dream,
you know? Great.

134
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,320
When you were eight,
it was adorable.

135
00:07:46,486 --> 00:07:49,319
When you were 18,
it was inspiring.

136
00:07:49,456 --> 00:07:53,499
At 28, it's officially embarrassing.

137
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:58,683
And I just want you to stop
before we get to heartbreaking.

138
00:08:23,224 --> 00:08:24,691
<i>The troops are involved in projects...</i>

139
00:08:24,825 --> 00:08:26,690
<i>Waiting arrival...</i>

140
00:08:28,262 --> 00:08:30,787
On my BlackBerry,
it shows that you got my e-mail,

141
00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:35,368
so I was just wondering if... Yeah,
it shows when someone's opened it.

142
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:36,492
Hello?

143
00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:37,934
Becky Fuller. Yeah.

144
00:08:38,072 --> 00:08:40,939
I just wanted to make sure that you got
that... resume that I e-mailed you.

145
00:08:41,075 --> 00:08:42,064
You did. Great.

146
00:08:42,209 --> 00:08:45,178
Becky Fuller again.
Um, I was just wondering if...

147
00:08:45,946 --> 00:08:47,846
Yes, I did call yesterday,
but I updated my resume last night

148
00:08:47,982 --> 00:08:49,006
and thought you might...

149
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:52,312
I'm calling... because I was
checking up on the position

150
00:08:52,453 --> 00:08:54,250
and I was wondering
if it had been...

151
00:08:59,393 --> 00:09:01,258
<i>- Hi. Becky Fuller.
- Hi.</i>

152
00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:04,558
<i>Oh, hi, this is Jerry Barnes calling
from IBS in New York. How are you?</i>

153
00:09:04,681 --> 00:09:07,697
- Uhh, good.
- Terrific. Listen, I'm calling

154
00:09:07,835 --> 00:09:11,771
cause I received your resume,
all five of them, actually.

155
00:09:11,906 --> 00:09:13,100
<i>And it just so happens,</i>

156
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,538
uh, that we're looking for
somebody at the moment.

157
00:09:15,676 --> 00:09:16,733
I'll take it.

158
00:09:17,011 --> 00:09:19,377
<i>Well, wait, I haven't
told you what it is yet.</i>

159
00:09:19,513 --> 00:09:21,242
- Sorry.
- Well, our morning show

160
00:09:21,382 --> 00:09:23,009
- has a vacancy and so...
- I'll take it!

161
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:26,347
<i>So, we're interviewing a bunch
of people. Maybe you can come in</i>

162
00:09:26,487 --> 00:09:27,977
<i>- and we can have a talk.
- Sure! Absolutely.</i>

163
00:09:28,122 --> 00:09:30,886
Just tell me where to go
and who to talk to.

164
00:09:31,025 --> 00:09:34,427
<i>Okay, I'll get you e-mail with the
details of where we are in the city.</i>

165
00:09:34,563 --> 00:09:36,554
<i>- Sorry!
- And shall we say 3 o'clock?</i>

166
00:09:36,698 --> 00:09:38,097
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you!

167
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:57,190
Oscar says you're very talented
and you work incredibly hard.

168
00:09:57,225 --> 00:10:01,054
Says you're the most promising
producer that he's ever fired.

169
00:10:01,189 --> 00:10:04,625
Oh, well, that's,
that's good. I... think.

170
00:10:04,826 --> 00:10:06,657
Uh, so, you're a fan
of our morning program?

171
00:10:06,795 --> 00:10:10,754
- Oh, eah, I think it has so many...
- Yeah, yeah, we know it's terrible.

172
00:10:10,899 --> 00:10:14,995
Perpetually in fourth place behind
the "Today show", "Good Morning America"

173
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,070
and that thing on CBS,
whatever it's called.

174
00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:19,537
It's a source of
constant humiliation.

175
00:10:19,674 --> 00:10:23,269
Last year, in the network softball
league, the CBS team wore hats

176
00:10:23,411 --> 00:10:25,174
that said
"At least we're not Daybreak."

177
00:10:25,313 --> 00:10:30,080
The anchors of the show
are difficult and semi-talented.

178
00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:32,550
- Oh, I think Colleen Peck is a pro.
- Heinous.

179
00:10:33,254 --> 00:10:36,417
- Paul McVee is a fine reporter.
- Foul.

180
00:10:38,209 --> 00:10:41,626
Okay. Is "Daybreak"
a shitty show? Yes.

181
00:10:42,562 --> 00:10:45,165
But it's on a network.
And not just any network.

182
00:10:45,301 --> 00:10:48,634
This is one of the most legendary
news divisions in the entire history

183
00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:51,262
of television! "Daybreak" just needs
someone who believes in it,

184
00:10:51,407 --> 00:10:54,638
who understands that a national
platform is an invaluable resource,

185
00:10:54,777 --> 00:10:58,543
that no story is too low
or too high to reach for!

186
00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:02,011
Are you gonna... sing?

187
00:11:03,019 --> 00:11:05,579
Look, Mr. Barnes. Jerry.

188
00:11:05,721 --> 00:11:08,189
"Daybreak"'s facilities are antiquated.

189
00:11:08,324 --> 00:11:12,317
It's understaffed, underfunded.
Oh! And the pay.

190
00:11:12,795 --> 00:11:13,784
It's awful, about half

191
00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:15,897
of what you made at
"Hey, How The Hell Are You, New Jersey?"

192
00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:19,490
You've never been an
executive producer. You're too young.

193
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:23,901
Nobody's ever heard of you. And here,
your education, three, not four years,

194
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,008
at Fairleigh Dickinson in Teaneck,

195
00:11:26,142 --> 00:11:30,602
also known as Fairly Ridiculous.
Did I miss anything?

196
00:11:33,449 --> 00:11:36,316
"Daybreak" needs what I need,

197
00:11:36,452 --> 00:11:38,716
someone who believes
that it can succeed.

198
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,914
Trust me, I know you don't
have any reason to believe in me,

199
00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:44,618
but I work harder
than anyone else.

200
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,352
I'm in first, I'm out last.

201
00:11:46,495 --> 00:11:49,123
I know a shitload more about the news
than someone whose daddy paid them

202
00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:51,665
to smoke bongs
and talk semiotics at Harvard

203
00:11:51,801 --> 00:11:55,296
and I devote myself completely
to my job. It's what I do.

204
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:57,337
It's all I am. I...

205
00:11:58,575 --> 00:12:00,406
You can ask anyone.

206
00:12:01,645 --> 00:12:06,048
Well, that's... embarrassing.

207
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,371
Okay.

208
00:12:12,155 --> 00:12:13,679
Thanks for the tour,

209
00:12:13,824 --> 00:12:18,921
and, uh... thanks for, uh... for...

210
00:12:19,062 --> 00:12:20,461
Thanks.

211
00:12:33,877 --> 00:12:36,404
It's these buttons right here.

212
00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:40,107
Oh, oh. Lobby. Yes, thanks.

213
00:12:42,419 --> 00:12:44,353
Good day so far?

214
00:12:45,388 --> 00:12:47,359
I don't think so.

215
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,552
I talked too much. Ruined it.

216
00:12:52,496 --> 00:12:53,758
Damn it.

217
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,683
Sir...

218
00:13:07,978 --> 00:13:10,106
I am such a huge admirer
of yours.

219
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:14,289
I'm a... I'm a big, huge fan. I...

220
00:13:14,777 --> 00:13:17,383
Oh, my whole family watched you,
growing up. I...

221
00:13:17,522 --> 00:13:21,583
Of all the anchors, you were,
by far, the greatest reporter.

222
00:13:21,726 --> 00:13:25,287
I mean when-when-when-when
you were in Kosovo, I was in Kosovo.

223
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,829
- She work for you?
- No.

224
00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:30,263
I'm just here to teach her
how to use the elevator.

225
00:13:30,401 --> 00:13:31,561
Are you done?

226
00:13:32,503 --> 00:13:34,937
Yes, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

227
00:13:35,072 --> 00:13:36,422
May I?

228
00:13:36,707 --> 00:13:37,799
Oh, God, sorry. I...

229
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,240
Of course, of course.

230
00:13:40,378 --> 00:13:42,539
Oh, my God, I can't
believe I just met the...

231
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,841
- Wait a second. You know him.
- Yes, I do know him.

232
00:13:44,982 --> 00:13:47,369
He's the third worst person
in the world.

233
00:14:05,837 --> 00:14:08,499
- Hello?
- Becky Fuller.

234
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,719
- Yes?
- You sure you can do this job?

235
00:14:11,719 --> 00:14:12,668
Yes.

236
00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:15,670
<i>- You start on Monday.
- Thank you.</i>

237
00:14:23,622 --> 00:14:27,149
Yes, I am calling about
the, uh, one-bedroom.

238
00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:30,728
Yes, I'm moving into town.
I've got a new job.

239
00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:32,194
I'm extremely neat and tidy.

240
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:36,156
In summer camp the kids used
to pay me to make their beds.

241
00:14:36,301 --> 00:14:38,769
Yeah.
Sorry, that was an overshare.

242
00:14:38,904 --> 00:14:40,565
No loud music. No kids.

243
00:14:40,706 --> 00:14:43,038
I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just me.

244
00:14:43,175 --> 00:14:45,200
I'll take it. I'll take it,
I'll take it.

245
00:15:00,659 --> 00:15:01,906
Sorry!

246
00:15:03,996 --> 00:15:05,513
Sorry!

247
00:15:07,266 --> 00:15:08,858
Sorry!

248
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,978
<i>Also, we'll have more
on the flooding in Iowa.</i>

249
00:15:25,117 --> 00:15:27,915
<i>Finally, some good weather news
on the way for those folks.</i>

250
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:30,886
<i>So please, join us tomorrow
and thank you for spending</i>

251
00:15:31,023 --> 00:15:33,458
<i>- your morning here at Daybreak.
- Take care, everyone.</i>

252
00:15:33,593 --> 00:15:35,686
- Are you interviewing at "Daybreak"?
- Goodbye.

253
00:15:35,828 --> 00:15:37,625
Assistant? Intern?

254
00:15:38,055 --> 00:15:41,095
Uh, no. Actually,
I'm the new executive producer.

255
00:15:41,506 --> 00:15:42,701
Another one?

256
00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:47,962
Don't unpack.

257
00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:51,435
Miss Fuller?
Lenny Bergman, senior producer.

258
00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:54,375
Yes. I-I... I know who you are.

259
00:15:54,514 --> 00:15:57,176
You started out at WABC.
You were at CBS for two years

260
00:15:57,317 --> 00:15:59,547
- and, uh, here for 13.
- Yeah, wow.

261
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:03,046
- Here, let me, let me give you a hand.
- Oh, uh, I just have one question. Um...

262
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,150
- Sure.
- Why haven't they bumped you up?

263
00:16:05,191 --> 00:16:07,989
It's not for me. I did it
for a couple of weeks once,

264
00:16:08,127 --> 00:16:11,585
but they put me back at number two.
Apparently, the crying was distracting.

265
00:16:11,731 --> 00:16:13,102
You'll love it, though.
It's a great job.

266
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:17,262
- Oh, our morning meetings are at five.
- Isn't that kind of late?

267
00:16:17,403 --> 00:16:19,701
- Late?
- I mean, well, it's just that...

268
00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:23,331
I'm, I'm used to, uh,
early hours, so...

269
00:16:23,476 --> 00:16:26,172
Well, maybe we should
try better doughnuts.

270
00:16:26,312 --> 00:16:29,281
Excuse me.
Uh, at the "Today Show",

271
00:16:29,415 --> 00:16:31,781
the... senior staff is usually...
Hi. ... in by 4:30...

272
00:16:31,918 --> 00:16:34,614
We're just like the "Today Show",
except, you know, without the money,

273
00:16:34,754 --> 00:16:37,018
- viewers, respect... But very similar.
- Okay.

274
00:16:37,156 --> 00:16:42,053
Okay. That's... that's
one of our good doorknobs.

275
00:16:42,053 --> 00:16:43,326
I'll take care of this.

276
00:16:43,463 --> 00:16:46,831
Colleen Peck has been here forever.
Don't... don't mention that.

277
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:49,629
But McVee is paid more.
Don't mention that, either.

278
00:16:49,770 --> 00:16:51,362
They hate each other.
Don't mention that.

279
00:16:51,505 --> 00:16:54,338
But that's because Colleen hates
everybody. Don't mention that.

280
00:16:54,475 --> 00:16:57,774
And she used to sleep with McVee,
who threw her over for her assistant.

281
00:16:57,911 --> 00:16:59,310
Do not mention that.
Got it.

282
00:16:59,446 --> 00:17:01,175
- After you talk to Colleen...
- Yeah, yeah?

283
00:17:01,315 --> 00:17:04,443
Make sure you get me before you talk
to McVee, so I can go with you.

284
00:17:04,585 --> 00:17:07,952
- Why?
- I don't... Just trust me, okay?

285
00:17:08,544 --> 00:17:09,578
- Okay.
- Okay.

286
00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:10,747
- Okay.
- Good.

287
00:17:10,891 --> 00:17:13,689
- Can I just...
- Sure. Okay, you ready?

288
00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,488
- I'm ready.
- Good luck.

289
00:17:22,336 --> 00:17:25,724
Do you know how many EP's
I've had in the past 11 years? Hm?

290
00:17:26,442 --> 00:17:28,204
- Um...
- Fourteen.

291
00:17:28,342 --> 00:17:31,277
If they're stupid, they get fired,
and if they're smart, they quit.

292
00:17:31,412 --> 00:17:33,903
And now... look what I get.

293
00:17:35,369 --> 00:17:37,439
Um, well, um...

294
00:17:37,718 --> 00:17:39,153
- It's a real pleasure...
- You think it's fun

295
00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:41,715
being in last place?
Do you think I enjoy working

296
00:17:41,855 --> 00:17:45,018
for a network that spends more
on one episode of a dating show

297
00:17:45,159 --> 00:17:47,525
about a bachelor dwarf
than our entire weekly budget?

298
00:17:47,661 --> 00:17:49,703
- No...
- And... I've never had

299
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:52,562
- a decent co-anchor ever!
- We're gonna change...

300
00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:57,763
Just a revolving door of cretinous
morons. Our ratings are in the crapper.

301
00:17:57,906 --> 00:18:01,307
I mean, how long can this show
limp along like this?

302
00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:04,537
I know that everyone's been through
a lot, and-and I know that there's been

303
00:18:04,679 --> 00:18:06,544
so many challenges along the way.
But, you know...

304
00:18:06,681 --> 00:18:08,808
You will fail
like everyone else

305
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:11,441
and then you'll be gone,
like everyone else.

306
00:18:11,586 --> 00:18:15,545
But I will still be here, pulling
the train up the hill with my teeth.

307
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:17,487
You think it's fun
getting your ass kicked?

308
00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:19,620
- No...
- Welcome to "Daybreak".

309
00:18:19,627 --> 00:18:21,937
Enjoy the pain, Gidget.

310
00:18:23,865 --> 00:18:27,266
No! It's okay. I have it!
I've done this a zillion times and...

311
00:18:27,402 --> 00:18:29,768
- I'm gonna fix that and...
- See you later!

312
00:18:29,768 --> 00:18:31,383
Good-good talking to you.

313
00:18:34,742 --> 00:18:38,974
Paul! Hi!
I'm... I'm-I'm Becky Fuller.

314
00:18:39,524 --> 00:18:42,743
Your new EP.
Thrilled to meet you.

315
00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:45,944
Uhh, I was just thinking maybe
we could go over a few ideas.

316
00:18:46,087 --> 00:18:47,350
I was thinking
maybe we could, uh,

317
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:49,414
get you on the street
and do some remotes.

318
00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:52,924
Yeah, I don't like to leave the studio.
I like climate control.

319
00:18:53,221 --> 00:18:58,631
But, uh, if you want, we could
discuss this further privately.

320
00:19:00,068 --> 00:19:01,948
- What size are your feet?
Hm?

321
00:19:02,144 --> 00:19:03,995
- You wear about a six and half? Seven?
- Pardon?

322
00:19:04,139 --> 00:19:06,142
How do you feel about
having them photographed?

323
00:19:07,142 --> 00:19:10,078
Good? Feel good about that?

324
00:19:10,146 --> 00:19:11,770
You should.
I keep 'em very classy.

325
00:19:11,914 --> 00:19:13,814
I... don't...

326
00:19:13,949 --> 00:19:16,008
Can I show you my blog?
"Sexy Feet"?

327
00:19:16,152 --> 00:19:17,779
- No.
- Yes?

328
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:18,885
No.

329
00:19:19,121 --> 00:19:20,713
- Well, I met Paul.
- You talked to him alone?

330
00:19:20,856 --> 00:19:22,756
- I told you to come see me first.
- I know, but...

331
00:19:22,892 --> 00:19:26,726
What was I gonna do?
Hi. Hi, everyone. Hi, I-I-I'm Becky.

332
00:19:26,862 --> 00:19:28,420
Hi. Good morning.

333
00:19:28,564 --> 00:19:32,523
Oh, God, look who's here.
I mean not here.

334
00:19:32,668 --> 00:19:34,363
McVee. So shocking, huh?

335
00:19:34,503 --> 00:19:37,708
Yeah, well, Mr. McVee doesn't
always come to these things.

336
00:19:38,507 --> 00:19:42,375
Oh, um... Could you tell Paul
that we need him, please? Thanks.

337
00:19:42,511 --> 00:19:45,275
Um, okay, so let's just dive in,
shall we?

338
00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:48,214
Who-who wants to start?

339
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:50,011
Tomorrow Rocco DiSpirito
wants to make lasagna.

340
00:19:50,152 --> 00:19:52,211
I told him we did that last week
with the Barefoot Contessa,

341
00:19:52,354 --> 00:19:54,822
- but he's insisting. What do I do?
- For the segment on miniskirts,

342
00:19:54,957 --> 00:19:57,653
- do you want all size models?
- Next week, I want to do a piece

343
00:19:57,793 --> 00:19:59,624
on juice cleanses.
All the celebs are doing them

344
00:19:59,762 --> 00:20:01,730
and they have amazing
powers of rejuvenization.

345
00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:04,424
My idea is that I get a juice
cleanse and then we can, like,

346
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:06,933
- measure my toxins...
- For the Carville interview...

347
00:20:07,069 --> 00:20:09,367
I'm sorry, Lisa, do you want
the living room set or the stools?

348
00:20:09,505 --> 00:20:11,939
ABC says we can't have Eva Longoria
until two weeks after

349
00:20:12,074 --> 00:20:14,008
- she does G.M.A. What do we do?
- On psychic animals,

350
00:20:14,143 --> 00:20:15,940
would you prefer a parakeet
or an iguana?

351
00:20:16,078 --> 00:20:18,103
I'd like to do a piece on weathervanes.
They are fascinating.

352
00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:20,715
Like, did you know the word "vane"
comes from the Old English "fana",

353
00:20:20,849 --> 00:20:23,876
- which means flag or weathercock?
- Friday, for cooking with squash,

354
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:25,896
- inside or on the plaza?
- Okay, they're offering us

355
00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:28,190
the third lead in the new Patrick Dempsey
movie. Do you want him?

356
00:20:28,325 --> 00:20:30,293
Great story out of Tampa about
a retirement account scandal.

357
00:20:30,427 --> 00:20:32,520
But we gotta move quick. Should we
send a team or just local talent?

358
00:20:32,662 --> 00:20:34,425
...control room's on the fritz.
Ten grand to fix it.

359
00:20:34,564 --> 00:20:37,533
For that piece on baby food,
do we want an actual baby,

360
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:40,067
and if so, white, black,
Hispanic, Asian,

361
00:20:40,203 --> 00:20:42,694
blonde hair, brown hair,
teeth, or no teeth?

362
00:20:42,839 --> 00:20:44,739
I have a black baby at home.

363
00:20:48,745 --> 00:20:51,270
I'm sorry, I can't hear
what you're saying. I...

364
00:20:51,414 --> 00:20:54,178
Hello! Hi, hi. Someone
wanna tell me why I had to log off

365
00:20:54,317 --> 00:20:56,217
BangingGrannies.com
for this?

366
00:20:57,721 --> 00:20:58,992
Asshole.

367
00:21:05,295 --> 00:21:07,957
Tell Rocco if he insists on making
lasagna, he will be bumped.

368
00:21:08,098 --> 00:21:11,226
Yes, all size models,
but skirts not too short. Toxins?

369
00:21:11,368 --> 00:21:12,995
Who said that? Yeah.
They can't be measured.

370
00:21:13,136 --> 00:21:16,503
And "rejuvenization," not a word.
Tell Longoria's people

371
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,666
that she can't plug her next film unless
we get her within a week of G.M.A.

372
00:21:19,809 --> 00:21:22,300
Parakeet. Ernie, weathercock?
Seriously?

373
00:21:22,445 --> 00:21:24,242
The plaza for squash.
I want Patrick Dempsey.

374
00:21:24,381 --> 00:21:26,508
Tell his people we'll run him in
the first hour and he can talk about

375
00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:29,141
whatever his thing is.
Tampa Bay, definitely local talent.

376
00:21:29,286 --> 00:21:30,913
And we've got to fix
that sound board.

377
00:21:31,054 --> 00:21:32,316
Find ten grand
in the budget somewhere.

378
00:21:32,455 --> 00:21:34,321
The hair and makeup numbers, those
were too high. So, Colleen, could you

379
00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:36,085
share your hair person
with Lisa?

380
00:21:36,227 --> 00:21:38,752
That'd be great, great. Okay.
Asian baby, no teeth.

381
00:21:38,896 --> 00:21:39,954
- Lesbian parents.
- Okay.

382
00:21:40,097 --> 00:21:42,122
Did I miss anything?

383
00:21:42,581 --> 00:21:43,740
Oh, Paul!

384
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:49,016
Uh... you're fired.

385
00:21:49,707 --> 00:21:52,844
- You're adorable.
- Fired!

386
00:22:05,122 --> 00:22:07,839
I'm sorry.
That was unprofessional.

387
00:22:13,798 --> 00:22:16,596
Congratulations. The first day,
you flushed your anchor

388
00:22:16,734 --> 00:22:18,395
and you got no money
to pay for another one.

389
00:22:18,536 --> 00:22:20,504
He was lowering
the morale of the show.

390
00:22:20,638 --> 00:22:22,135
How is that possible?

391
00:22:22,650 --> 00:22:24,399
Look, you must have
someone under contract.

392
00:22:24,542 --> 00:22:27,136
A local anchor, a reporter.
I'll find someone.

393
00:22:27,278 --> 00:22:29,712
I'll-I'll promote from within.
That'll be great for morale!

394
00:22:29,847 --> 00:22:33,112
Go nuts. Find somebody great.
It just can't cost me a penny.

395
00:22:33,851 --> 00:22:36,319
What if I gave them one
of my three pennies?

396
00:22:36,454 --> 00:22:39,787
Whatever it takes.
Just get the ratings up.

397
00:22:45,096 --> 00:22:49,355
Lenny, hi. Yeah. Very positive.
He thinks we have terrific options.

398
00:22:49,355 --> 00:22:52,332
<i>... plunge 200 points
right before closing.</i>

399
00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:55,736
<i>- Analysts fear that this...
- He's not bad.</i>

400
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:59,071
Yeah, he's okay. Put a saddle
on him, he's good to go.

401
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:02,840
<i>- ...are not happy.
- Should we watch 86 again?</i>

402
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:07,077
I gotta get home, see the kids,
or the wife is gonna kill me.

403
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,508
You have kids?

404
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:11,684
What? No.

405
00:23:11,879 --> 00:23:13,688
No? Husband? Boyfriend?

406
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:16,927
Me? What? No.

407
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:19,963
- No, I'm sorry. Stupid question.
- Um, you know...

408
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:23,090
- You're hideous and repulsive.
- You know what? Forget 86.

409
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:27,365
I think that we should watch the Miami
guy again, 'cause he was, I mean,

410
00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:29,736
you know, he was a little bit tan,
but I think...

411
00:23:29,850 --> 00:23:31,706
I think that we could just
wipe that off, it's probably

412
00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:35,574
just one of those self-tanner things.
I could, you know, fix that.

413
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:37,946
Good night.

414
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:41,513
Hey, look.
It's Mike Pomeroy's fangirl.

415
00:23:42,846 --> 00:23:45,051
- Oh!... Hello.
- Hey.

416
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:46,248
That was you.

417
00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:48,586
That was really embarrassing.

418
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,589
I may need
to have you killed.

419
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:55,399
I'm... I'm Becky... Fuller.
Sorry.

420
00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:57,024
"Becky Fuller" Becky Fuller?

421
00:23:57,169 --> 00:24:00,105
The one who took out McVee?
You're a legend already.

422
00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:02,230
- Uh, thanks.
- I'm Adam Bennett.

423
00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:04,070
I'm a producer upstairs
at "Seven Days".

424
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:06,337
- Hello.
- So, you lookin' for a new anchor?

425
00:24:06,479 --> 00:24:09,004
- Yes.
- Oh, not that guy.

426
00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:11,173
You can't use that guy.
That's the horse guy.

427
00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:14,013
Oh, he's not too bad. I mean,
as long as we leave our hand flat

428
00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:15,799
when we feed him a carrot....

429
00:24:16,710 --> 00:24:21,143
- Well, good luck, Becky Fuller.
- Thank you, Adam... Bennett?

430
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,960
- Need any help?
- Uh, no. I'm good. Thanks.

431
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:29,601
The sports guy from St. Louis
is not bad. Let's watch him again.

432
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:33,136
No, we need some gravitas. We need...
we need people to trust us.

433
00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:37,106
I mean, you know, if news breaks on the air,
we need to be able to cover it credibly.

434
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:40,792
What, do you actually think
that we can cover breaking news?

435
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:43,507
- God, that's adorable.
- Thousands gathered today

436
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:46,777
<i>to see if the tiny buck-toothed creature
would spot his own shadow.</i>

437
00:24:46,896 --> 00:24:50,525
<i>But the sad truth is,
according to Punxsutawney Phil,</i>

438
00:24:50,525 --> 00:24:54,482
<i>this bitter winter is far from over.
Back to you, Mike.</i>

439
00:24:58,064 --> 00:24:59,156
What?

440
00:24:59,298 --> 00:25:02,267
<i>Yesterday, the Secretary of State
held a top-level</i>

441
00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:04,426
<i>- State Department security brief...
- What's funny?</i>

442
00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:07,539
- You put Seabiscuit back in?
- But we agree that Hezbollah

443
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:10,472
<i>has shown a willingness
to continue to attack.</i>

444
00:25:10,611 --> 00:25:13,307
- Becky?
- Can I call you back?

445
00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:15,813
<i>... Israeli incursions.</i>

446
00:25:15,922 --> 00:25:21,312
<i>What steps are you taking to limit
these Hezbollah retaliations?</i>

447
00:25:21,522 --> 00:25:23,319
You have Pomeroy
under contract, right?

448
00:25:24,324 --> 00:25:28,158
Yeah. He was supposed to do
stories for one of our magazine shows.

449
00:25:28,295 --> 00:25:30,160
- Yeah?
- We couldn't use anything he pitched.

450
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:34,177
- Nothing?
- An eight-part story on the United Nations.

451
00:25:34,308 --> 00:25:35,898
An interview with
a Pashtu warlord.

452
00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:40,598
A piece on microfinance in Asia?
It's all been so tempting.

453
00:25:40,741 --> 00:25:42,766
- Jerry!
- So we're just paying him to sit there.

454
00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:45,606
Wait. But he must
have millions on his contract.

455
00:25:45,746 --> 00:25:48,044
You have a world-caliber
news man with nothing to do!

456
00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:50,115
- Becky, this is...
- No, Pomeroy has reported

457
00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:54,346
on every major story of the last three
decades, with integrity and courage!

458
00:25:54,488 --> 00:25:57,514
I mean, he was the only anchor to go
down to Ground Zero on the day.

459
00:25:57,658 --> 00:25:59,888
His Q ratings, I looked at them,
they're unbelievable,

460
00:26:00,027 --> 00:26:03,554
- and you're already paying him.
- I have to go. We'll discuss this.

461
00:26:03,697 --> 00:26:04,734
I...

462
00:26:05,299 --> 00:26:07,392
I wanna look at his contract!

463
00:26:07,534 --> 00:26:09,732
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. Hi.

464
00:26:09,836 --> 00:26:14,364
I wa... I need your approval
to look at his contract.

465
00:26:15,891 --> 00:26:17,411
Please.

466
00:26:43,571 --> 00:26:44,797
Hi.

467
00:26:45,940 --> 00:26:47,390
Hi.

468
00:26:49,544 --> 00:26:51,478
I'm Becky Fuller and, uh...

469
00:26:51,613 --> 00:26:54,088
We actually met
the other day in the elevator.

470
00:26:55,276 --> 00:26:57,282
And what the hell
are you doing here?

471
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,740
I'm the producer of "Daybreak" and
we're actually looking for a new anchor.

472
00:27:02,557 --> 00:27:04,491
Then why are you here?

473
00:27:04,931 --> 00:27:07,041
Well, it's funny
that you should ask.

474
00:27:07,041 --> 00:27:09,516
Go... away.

475
00:27:09,664 --> 00:27:12,827
Okay, just hear me out, because the
show actually has a lot of potential.

476
00:27:12,967 --> 00:27:14,264
We're starting over basically,

477
00:27:14,402 --> 00:27:17,486
and with an anchor as esteemed
and respected as yourself, sir...

478
00:27:24,445 --> 00:27:27,380
You've been a journalist
your whole life, ever since, um,

479
00:27:27,589 --> 00:27:29,574
your elementary school paper,
The Beaverton Bee.

480
00:27:29,717 --> 00:27:33,373
I mean, you've gotta miss it. You...
News breaks, it must just kill you

481
00:27:33,373 --> 00:27:36,656
- not to be out there.
- Morning shows don't do news.

482
00:27:36,959 --> 00:27:41,521
Jesus, "Daybreak". Half the people that
watch your show have lost their remote.

483
00:27:41,664 --> 00:27:44,849
The other half are waiting
for their nurse to turn them over.

484
00:27:45,034 --> 00:27:48,492
If I wanted to come back,
I could have any job I chose.

485
00:27:48,637 --> 00:27:51,333
But you can't work on another network
for another two years.

486
00:27:51,473 --> 00:27:55,739
So I'll continue to enjoy my life
on IBS's dime.

487
00:27:55,878 --> 00:27:57,971
All right, all right, I didn't wanna
have to do this. I really didn't.

488
00:27:58,113 --> 00:28:00,581
- I looked at your contract.
- What?

489
00:28:00,716 --> 00:28:03,082
- With the lawyers.
- My contract?

490
00:28:03,218 --> 00:28:06,085
And you're right. They do have to pay you
through the last two years of your contract.

491
00:28:06,221 --> 00:28:07,620
Unless six months have elapsed

492
00:28:07,756 --> 00:28:09,587
without you appearing on the air
in any capacity.

493
00:28:09,695 --> 00:28:12,057
Then, if the network offers
you an official position

494
00:28:12,194 --> 00:28:14,685
and you don't take it,
they can terminate your contract

495
00:28:14,830 --> 00:28:17,451
and the six million dollars
that you have left on it.

496
00:28:17,533 --> 00:28:20,730
So, here's me
with an official offer.

497
00:28:21,687 --> 00:28:24,566
Mike Pomeroy, the IBS network
would like to offer you

498
00:28:24,707 --> 00:28:27,175
the position of
co-host of "Daybreak".

499
00:28:30,813 --> 00:28:33,976
- You're joking.
- No.

500
00:28:34,116 --> 00:28:35,447
Actually, I'm not.

501
00:28:36,518 --> 00:28:38,645
Do you have any idea
what's going on in the world?

502
00:28:38,787 --> 00:28:42,917
And you want me to do
stories about baked Alaska?

503
00:28:43,486 --> 00:28:45,970
After the career that I've had?

504
00:28:46,362 --> 00:28:48,159
You just need
to have an open mind.

505
00:28:48,298 --> 00:28:49,731
- Open mind.
- I mean, yes, the morning news

506
00:28:49,866 --> 00:28:53,324
- has a wider range of stories...
- A wider range?!

507
00:28:53,470 --> 00:28:56,928
Your program is in the
news department, you cretin!

508
00:28:57,073 --> 00:28:59,974
News is a sacred temple.

509
00:29:00,110 --> 00:29:04,137
And you're part of the cabal
that's ruining it with horseshit!

510
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,645
That's not actually fair.

511
00:29:05,782 --> 00:29:09,047
Because the first half hour of a morning
show is a damn fine news broadcast.

512
00:29:09,185 --> 00:29:10,812
Sure, we cover the news
and entertainment...

513
00:29:10,954 --> 00:29:12,546
That's everything
a newspaper has ever done.

514
00:29:12,689 --> 00:29:14,748
There's nothing wrong with that.
Think of it this way:

515
00:29:14,891 --> 00:29:16,791
We're like a well-informed neighbor,
coming over to chat

516
00:29:16,926 --> 00:29:20,191
with people in the morning. You know,
Brokaw did the morning news.

517
00:29:20,330 --> 00:29:22,855
And Charlie Gibson. Walter Cronkite
did it at the beginning of his career.

518
00:29:22,999 --> 00:29:26,059
I mean, he co-hosted a morning program
with a puppet named Charlemagne.

519
00:29:27,437 --> 00:29:31,200
Well, then... get a puppet.

520
00:29:33,576 --> 00:29:37,512
It's inexpensive and uses things
you already have around the house.

521
00:29:37,647 --> 00:29:42,175
You can make... globes, hats,
especially pinatas.

522
00:29:42,318 --> 00:29:44,843
Now, macher means
"to chew" in French,

523
00:29:44,988 --> 00:29:48,981
but we're not actually going
to be eating any of this, right?

524
00:29:50,493 --> 00:29:51,482
Of course not!

525
00:29:51,628 --> 00:29:53,459
No.

526
00:29:53,596 --> 00:29:55,860
Coming up next,
you've heard her sing.

527
00:29:55,999 --> 00:29:58,628
Well, today, you're going
to hear about her sweet tooth.

528
00:29:58,769 --> 00:30:03,138
Join us as we bake brownies
with Celine Dion's personal chef.

529
00:30:03,274 --> 00:30:06,505
All that and more,
coming up on... "Daybreak".

530
00:30:06,644 --> 00:30:07,975
- We're clear!
- Oh, my God,

531
00:30:08,112 --> 00:30:11,343
will somebody please get this off?
Thank you, thank you.

532
00:30:11,482 --> 00:30:13,677
- Thank you very much.
- Okay, so, we don't have time

533
00:30:13,818 --> 00:30:16,150
for the sit-down, so we're just
gonna run the package, all right?

534
00:30:16,287 --> 00:30:18,847
- You okay?
- What?

535
00:30:18,989 --> 00:30:22,652
Don't beat yourself up.
He was never gonna do it. Pomeroy?

536
00:30:22,793 --> 00:30:25,557
- How did you know that?
- Mike was never gonna come to work

537
00:30:25,696 --> 00:30:28,392
at this little dog and pony show,
especially not working for somebody

538
00:30:28,532 --> 00:30:30,727
- like, well, I'm sorry, but... you.
- Okay. Like... yeah.

539
00:30:30,868 --> 00:30:34,304
You. Not in a thousand years. I mean,
obviously, don't get me wrong,

540
00:30:34,438 --> 00:30:39,375
I would've... I would've
welcomed him with open arms.

541
00:30:39,510 --> 00:30:41,080
Oh, my God.

542
00:30:48,552 --> 00:30:51,146
I heard he was coming in,
but I didn't...

543
00:31:00,197 --> 00:31:04,254
I've won eight Peabodys.
A Pulitzer.

544
00:31:04,468 --> 00:31:06,838
Sixteen Emmys.

545
00:31:07,371 --> 00:31:10,500
I was shot through
the forearm in Bosnia.

546
00:31:10,642 --> 00:31:14,181
Pulled Colin Powell
from a burning jeep.

547
00:31:14,479 --> 00:31:18,848
I laid a cool washcloth
on Mother Teresa's forehead

548
00:31:18,984 --> 00:31:21,509
during a cholera epidemic.

549
00:31:21,653 --> 00:31:25,453
I've had lunch
with Dick Cheney.

550
00:31:27,392 --> 00:31:29,839
You're here for the money.

551
00:31:31,563 --> 00:31:33,665
That is correct.

552
00:31:34,833 --> 00:31:37,734
Five, four, three...

553
00:31:38,203 --> 00:31:39,192
Oh, fuck!

554
00:31:40,205 --> 00:31:41,407
Welcome back to "Daybreak".

555
00:31:41,506 --> 00:31:44,134
God, does he cook?
Does he do... I don't know,

556
00:31:44,276 --> 00:31:45,573
fashion segments and gossip?

557
00:31:45,710 --> 00:31:49,237
Does he have three-year-old octuplets
barf all over 'im like I did last year?

558
00:31:49,381 --> 00:31:50,814
Well, unfortunately,
in the '80s,

559
00:31:50,949 --> 00:31:52,644
someone gave him
story refusal rights, so no.

560
00:31:52,784 --> 00:31:55,309
I don't care. Does he know that
this is called morning television?

561
00:31:55,453 --> 00:31:57,512
Yes, and I think
that after a little bit of time,

562
00:31:57,656 --> 00:31:59,624
he's really gonna want
to do a mix of stories.

563
00:31:59,758 --> 00:32:02,693
Face it! I'm going to end up making
turkey meatballs with Mario Batali

564
00:32:02,827 --> 00:32:06,285
- for the rest of my natural life.
- I need the new titles ASAP.

565
00:32:06,431 --> 00:32:09,457
Okay, let's move it. Single malt.
We've got the hand soap,

566
00:32:09,601 --> 00:32:12,001
we got the mixers, the papers,
the tropical fruit.

567
00:32:12,137 --> 00:32:14,002
Here we go.
Whoever heard of mangosteen?

568
00:32:14,139 --> 00:32:17,404
- Apparently, he has.
- This is... Colleen's dressing room

569
00:32:17,542 --> 00:32:22,571
and... She's so looking
forward to seeing you.

570
00:32:22,742 --> 00:32:25,047
Good. Great.
Glad to hear it.

571
00:32:26,385 --> 00:32:29,513
And, uh... this is mine?

572
00:32:29,655 --> 00:32:34,123
Yes, but Colleen is, uh...
Never mind.

573
00:32:34,493 --> 00:32:36,120
You got me
the newspapers?

574
00:32:36,262 --> 00:32:37,554
The mixers?

575
00:32:38,764 --> 00:32:40,893
The tropical fruit plate.

576
00:32:41,367 --> 00:32:45,098
All stipulated
in your ten-page rider.

577
00:32:46,072 --> 00:32:49,235
- Nice of you.
- Yes...

578
00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:53,942
Colleen wants me,
I'll be in here.

579
00:32:55,614 --> 00:32:56,603
Okay.

580
00:33:00,753 --> 00:33:05,197
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He should come in here.

581
00:33:07,693 --> 00:33:10,457
- Okay.
- What the hell is that?

582
00:33:11,415 --> 00:33:12,771
No hurry.

583
00:33:14,433 --> 00:33:16,293
No, no and no.

584
00:33:18,671 --> 00:33:19,711
Okay.

585
00:33:19,805 --> 00:33:23,036
Did you tell her
I have papaya in here?

586
00:33:23,175 --> 00:33:28,238
He gets a tropical fruit plate?
That is just so pathetic.

587
00:33:29,548 --> 00:33:30,879
That guy might be
our only hope.

588
00:33:31,017 --> 00:33:34,453
So I suggest you just man up
and get in there!

589
00:33:34,588 --> 00:33:36,818
Ooh! That is
such a good speech!

590
00:33:36,957 --> 00:33:40,136
Guess what? I'm... not going.

591
00:33:49,036 --> 00:33:52,096
So, we'll be shooting Mike's
promos all week and then, uh,

592
00:33:52,239 --> 00:33:53,831
we'll finalize the format
of the show on Friday.

593
00:33:53,974 --> 00:33:55,942
And then we'll rehearse
Mike's openings and some segues.

594
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:59,717
Excuse me.
Who is going to say goodbye?

595
00:34:00,981 --> 00:34:04,429
- Pardon?
- Well, at the end of the show?

596
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,812
Oh, uh...
It doesn't really matter.

597
00:34:06,953 --> 00:34:09,353
I mean, Mike, you don't mind
if Colleen says goodbye?

598
00:34:09,489 --> 00:34:12,287
Well, who do you think the public
would rather hear from last?

599
00:34:12,426 --> 00:34:16,863
Someone who's won every broadcast
award on the face of the planet

600
00:34:16,997 --> 00:34:20,768
or the former Miss... Pacoima?

601
00:34:20,901 --> 00:34:23,267
It's Arizona!

602
00:34:23,437 --> 00:34:26,984
In case you're interested,
I was Miss Arizona!

603
00:34:29,009 --> 00:34:30,636
Christ!

604
00:34:37,184 --> 00:34:39,914
We can't both have
our arms folded.

605
00:34:40,053 --> 00:34:41,782
And I am the female here,
I think.

606
00:34:41,922 --> 00:34:44,618
- Colleen on this side.
- Of course, I'd be more than happy to.

607
00:34:52,934 --> 00:34:55,903
Can you just step away,
just for a second? Thanks.

608
00:34:56,037 --> 00:34:59,165
We don't wanna take up
your precious... Hello?!

609
00:34:59,307 --> 00:35:03,334
- Is that better?
- What's next? Bubble bath?

610
00:35:06,047 --> 00:35:07,537
Hey. Hi!

611
00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:10,975
- Hey.
- Hi.

612
00:35:11,119 --> 00:35:13,679
Hey, I just came to...
to offer my condolences

613
00:35:13,821 --> 00:35:17,120
on hiring the third
worst person in the world.

614
00:35:18,918 --> 00:35:20,783
Ohh! Thanks.

615
00:35:21,180 --> 00:35:25,661
Yes. I... Um...
Who are the other two?

616
00:35:25,683 --> 00:35:30,570
Oh, Kim Jong-Il
and... Angela Lansbury, actually.

617
00:35:30,705 --> 00:35:33,697
- She knows what she did.
- Okay.

618
00:35:34,436 --> 00:35:38,540
So, I, uh, I gather that you worked
with Mike at the nightly news.

619
00:35:38,679 --> 00:35:41,876
Worst year of my life.
The entire time we worked together,

620
00:35:42,016 --> 00:35:45,281
the only thing he ever called me
was Senor Dipshit.

621
00:35:47,392 --> 00:35:47,810
It's not funny.

622
00:35:47,955 --> 00:35:49,081
- I'm sorry, that's not funny.
- No.

623
00:35:49,223 --> 00:35:51,453
That's terrible.
That is terrible, actually.

624
00:35:51,962 --> 00:35:53,548
Yeah, so, um...

625
00:35:53,828 --> 00:35:56,558
So now is an excellent time
for you to take up drinking.

626
00:35:57,001 --> 00:36:00,134
And, uh... And I came by to say
that sometimes after work,

627
00:36:00,269 --> 00:36:02,396
a few of us go over
to Schiller's on Madison,

628
00:36:02,538 --> 00:36:06,975
so, um, you know,
if you're... ever around...

629
00:36:07,109 --> 00:36:09,703
- Around.
- Yeah, available.

630
00:36:09,845 --> 00:36:15,078
Oh, okay. Yeah. Um...
Uh, that, uh, would be nice.

631
00:36:15,217 --> 00:36:18,812
Yeah, I... I don't,
I don't really go out very much,

632
00:36:18,954 --> 00:36:21,320
but, um, if I'm
in the neighborhood,

633
00:36:21,456 --> 00:36:24,152
- I will definitely stop by and say hi.
- Well, like tomorrow.

634
00:36:24,293 --> 00:36:27,194
- Around eight.
- Okay. Yeah, sounds good.

635
00:36:28,178 --> 00:36:28,990
- All right.
- Sure, yeah.

636
00:36:30,265 --> 00:36:31,844
- Bye.
- Bye.

637
00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:35,300
That's not too shabby.
You got a new anchor.

638
00:36:35,437 --> 00:36:39,820
Somebody asked you out on a date.
Things are lookin' up.

639
00:36:40,042 --> 00:36:42,704
Um, that was... He...
Not asking me out on a date.

640
00:36:42,844 --> 00:36:44,778
I think it was.
I was standin' right there.

641
00:36:44,913 --> 00:36:46,744
- Uh, no, no.
- Yeah.

642
00:36:46,882 --> 00:36:50,249
He was just-just mentioning that
he might be somewhere. I mean...

643
00:36:50,385 --> 00:36:53,718
Oh, come on, please, I think I would know
if I was being asked out on a date.

644
00:36:53,855 --> 00:36:56,221
- It's a date.
- So, we've got the bird whisperer

645
00:36:56,358 --> 00:36:58,053
- confirmed for... Tuesday?
- Yes.

646
00:36:58,193 --> 00:37:00,457
Great. And, uh, Al Green
on the plaza Wednesday.

647
00:37:00,596 --> 00:37:01,790
- Two songs.
- Okay.

648
00:37:01,930 --> 00:37:04,364
And Colleen, do you wanna do
the interview between the songs?

649
00:37:07,736 --> 00:37:09,499
No, let me.

650
00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:15,576
Yeah, I'll do it.

651
00:37:16,251 --> 00:37:21,674
Okay. Mike, so, we have this great story
on children's water safety.

652
00:37:23,086 --> 00:37:25,247
- That's the...
- Not my thing.

653
00:37:26,756 --> 00:37:30,351
Okay, how about a rundown of
the new shows on fall television season?

654
00:37:33,396 --> 00:37:36,888
The boom in organic farming.
Very hot topic right now.

655
00:37:37,778 --> 00:37:40,173
That's newsy, right?

656
00:37:40,370 --> 00:37:42,463
What do you want me to do?
Fire another anchor?

657
00:37:42,605 --> 00:37:45,335
Then we're gonna be stuck with
that guy who counts with his hooves.

658
00:37:45,475 --> 00:37:48,239
Colleen can't do every story
that's not hard news.

659
00:37:48,378 --> 00:37:51,074
It's Mike Pomeroy. He's a legend.
You know, what am I supposed to tell him?

660
00:37:51,214 --> 00:37:54,149
- There she is.
- What...? Oh, hi.

661
00:37:54,777 --> 00:37:56,946
Interesting.
Jerry hired you.

662
00:37:58,221 --> 00:38:01,987
No polish. No pedigree.
Those bangs.

663
00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:04,593
What was he thinking?

664
00:38:09,434 --> 00:38:10,763
Just wondering.

665
00:38:12,402 --> 00:38:14,870
- He's a peach.
- Yeah.

666
00:38:15,672 --> 00:38:17,435
<i>Coming soon to "Daybreak":</i>

667
00:38:17,573 --> 00:38:21,168
<i>one of the most legendary
newsmen of all time.</i>

668
00:38:21,311 --> 00:38:25,214
<i>Soon, he'll be bringing his
experience to morning television.</i>

669
00:38:25,349 --> 00:38:28,409
<i>Let Mike Pomeroy
show you the world</i>

670
00:38:28,552 --> 00:38:30,486
<i>over your first cup of coffee!</i>

671
00:38:30,621 --> 00:38:33,283
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
- What? What, what, what is it now?

672
00:38:33,424 --> 00:38:36,450
It's embarrassing. I mean,
wha-wha-what's in the briefcase?

673
00:38:36,593 --> 00:38:38,788
- What do you mean? What?
- Special anchorman papers?

674
00:38:38,929 --> 00:38:40,487
- It doesn't matter.
- My lunch? Where am I going?

675
00:38:40,631 --> 00:38:42,223
- We've been over this eight times!
- I'm running to nowhere.

676
00:38:42,366 --> 00:38:45,233
- I look like a jackass!
- No... Yes, you do.

677
00:38:46,670 --> 00:38:49,730
You know, whoever gave you
promo approval was smoking crack!

678
00:38:49,873 --> 00:38:51,272
- I want to meet that person.
- I was mopping the floor

679
00:38:51,408 --> 00:38:52,932
- with Peter Jennings at the time.
- I want to have words with...

680
00:38:53,077 --> 00:38:55,637
I could have had hookers and
eight balls written into my contract.

681
00:38:55,779 --> 00:38:58,373
- How nice for you.
- ...over your first cup of coffee.

682
00:38:58,515 --> 00:39:01,973
Why do we have to mention that first
cup of coffee? Why not just say

683
00:39:02,119 --> 00:39:05,520
"Watch Mike Pomeroy
before your morning dump?"

684
00:39:09,103 --> 00:39:11,628
So for the fashion segments, I think
it's important that we interpret

685
00:39:11,762 --> 00:39:16,131
runway trends for our viewers because
they're not all six foot and size zero.

686
00:39:16,888 --> 00:39:19,758
- Man, he's cute.
- I went to Yale with him.

687
00:39:19,903 --> 00:39:20,892
- Shut up.
- You did not.

688
00:39:21,038 --> 00:39:22,505
Everyone was madly
in love with him.

689
00:39:22,639 --> 00:39:24,681
Actually, just me and
every single person I knew.

690
00:39:24,681 --> 00:39:25,390
Yeah.

691
00:39:25,425 --> 00:39:27,268
- Can we just...?
- His dad was editor of Newsweek.

692
00:39:27,411 --> 00:39:29,902
His mom's family is rich as hell.
They own like Tupperware or something.

693
00:39:30,047 --> 00:39:32,880
He rowed crew for Yale when
they won the national championship.

694
00:39:36,354 --> 00:39:37,780
Hi.

695
00:39:41,159 --> 00:39:44,890
- You know him?
- No. Yeah, well, yes, I mean, I...

696
00:39:45,029 --> 00:39:47,088
- Yes.
- Don't you think he's smokin'?

697
00:39:47,232 --> 00:39:49,166
- Smokin'.
- Yeah.

698
00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:52,269
I don't know, I don't know.
Let me see. I... I don't know.

699
00:39:52,404 --> 00:39:54,304
- Not a hard question.
- He's walking away.

700
00:39:54,439 --> 00:39:57,875
So... jeans and... belts.

701
00:39:58,009 --> 00:40:00,637
You have a rash or something
spreading on your neck.

702
00:40:17,228 --> 00:40:20,459
Well, you know, I asked him
to do a piece on Trump.

703
00:40:20,598 --> 00:40:24,227
And he actually picked up my Diet Coke
and hurled it across the room.

704
00:40:24,369 --> 00:40:26,997
- Wow, he picked it up.
- Just missed me. He did.

705
00:40:27,138 --> 00:40:29,663
I asked him to cover
a bumper crop of cranberries

706
00:40:29,808 --> 00:40:32,504
and he slapped me in the face.

707
00:40:32,644 --> 00:40:34,373
- He did?
- It's true.

708
00:40:34,512 --> 00:40:36,776
- Really?
- Of course, he was drunk off his ass.

709
00:40:36,915 --> 00:40:37,939
Adam!

710
00:40:38,082 --> 00:40:39,913
- Hi.
- Oh, hi. How are you?

711
00:40:40,051 --> 00:40:42,918
- I'm good.
- Hi.

712
00:40:43,054 --> 00:40:45,648
- You never called me!
- Uh... I'm sorry.

713
00:40:45,790 --> 00:40:48,624
We, uh... I was...
I've been workin' a lot.

714
00:40:48,761 --> 00:40:52,094
Well, uh, maybe I'll see you at
Barton's regatta party on Saturday.

715
00:40:52,231 --> 00:40:53,789
- Great, great.
- Okay, great.

716
00:40:53,933 --> 00:40:55,093
Yeah, cool.

717
00:40:56,569 --> 00:40:59,595
- Sorry, I was just...
- Oh, that's okay.

718
00:40:59,738 --> 00:41:01,706
Absolutely fine.
That's fine, fine.

719
00:41:01,841 --> 00:41:03,399
- Bye.
- See you later.

720
00:41:06,579 --> 00:41:11,881
- Yeah.
- So, um... anyway,

721
00:41:12,017 --> 00:41:14,781
the reason that
I came by, uh, tonight,

722
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,549
was, uh, because I don't really know
that many people who know Mike,

723
00:41:18,691 --> 00:41:21,990
and I thought, that, you know,
I could get, uh, your professional feedback.

724
00:41:22,792 --> 00:41:25,028
- My feedback?
- Yeah, you know.

725
00:41:25,164 --> 00:41:29,225
I mean, cause I'm actually
new in town and I don't...

726
00:41:29,368 --> 00:41:31,131
- Come on.
- Oh, no, please.

727
00:41:31,270 --> 00:41:33,801
... have that many
work contacts, so...

728
00:41:34,006 --> 00:41:37,965
Great. So...
we'll be contacts?

729
00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:39,839
Oh, that would be great.

730
00:41:40,590 --> 00:41:42,311
Well, you can never
have enough of those.

731
00:41:43,449 --> 00:41:44,541
No, you can't.

732
00:41:44,683 --> 00:41:47,413
So, uh, definitely
be seeing you around.

733
00:41:47,785 --> 00:41:49,720
- Okay.
- Okay.

734
00:41:59,499 --> 00:42:00,847
Shit.

735
00:42:02,736 --> 00:42:05,068
Okay. Good rehearsal.
Good stuff.

736
00:42:05,205 --> 00:42:09,198
So, uh, let's just alternate the
voiceover intros of the headlines.

737
00:42:09,342 --> 00:42:11,435
- Okay.
- And then ad-lib.

738
00:42:11,578 --> 00:42:14,672
So, let's say, for example, we're doing
a story about, I don't know,

739
00:42:14,814 --> 00:42:17,339
- a midterm election.
- But we won't.

740
00:42:17,484 --> 00:42:19,042
Because the morning shows
don't do news.

741
00:42:19,185 --> 00:42:22,177
Pompous. That's really interesting.
That's a different color for you.

742
00:42:22,980 --> 00:42:25,814
That's, uh... Okay,
and you two should just sort of,

743
00:42:25,959 --> 00:42:28,223
you know... banter
back and forth a little bit.

744
00:42:28,361 --> 00:42:31,797
Banter, from the Latin word,
meaning "to gibber like a moron"?

745
00:42:32,234 --> 00:42:33,832
Just, you know,
talk about the headlines.

746
00:42:33,967 --> 00:42:36,267
That's... that's what I mean.

747
00:42:36,729 --> 00:42:39,372
I'm not gonna sit here and
rehearse like I'm in summer stock.

748
00:42:39,506 --> 00:42:41,736
I've been on the air for 40 years,
for Christ's sake.

749
00:42:41,875 --> 00:42:43,570
I think I know
how to... ad-lib.

750
00:42:45,545 --> 00:42:47,638
<i>The spill began
when the tanker was damaged</i>

751
00:42:47,781 --> 00:42:50,215
<i>in heavy seas
outside Galveston.</i>

752
00:42:50,817 --> 00:42:53,861
Knock, knock.
Oh, can I come in?

753
00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:57,790
Uh, I just, uh, wanted to say,

754
00:42:57,924 --> 00:43:00,916
you know, um, good luck.

755
00:43:02,462 --> 00:43:04,623
Colleen's Pap smear.

756
00:43:05,765 --> 00:43:08,063
A television classic.

757
00:43:09,332 --> 00:43:11,001
Uh, are you... drunk?

758
00:43:11,613 --> 00:43:13,572
Insufficiently.

759
00:43:14,416 --> 00:43:16,768
<i>Current weather conditions
are complicating efforts</i>

760
00:43:16,911 --> 00:43:19,277
<i>- to contain the...
- That's my chair.</i>

761
00:43:20,505 --> 00:43:21,108
What?

762
00:43:21,248 --> 00:43:24,802
That's where I belong.
There.

763
00:43:25,052 --> 00:43:26,519
<i>... authorities have asked
the federal government...</i>

764
00:43:26,654 --> 00:43:28,875
Took it away from me,
those motherfu...

765
00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:31,149
I-I think maybe you should just,
you know, go home and...

766
00:43:31,292 --> 00:43:33,522
- See this?
- ... rest. Yes. What is that?

767
00:43:33,661 --> 00:43:36,630
Forty-year-old Bruichladdich.

768
00:43:36,828 --> 00:43:40,325
I only drink this
when I'm practically suicidal.

769
00:43:41,235 --> 00:43:42,725
Okay.

770
00:43:43,971 --> 00:43:45,768
Oh, you're-you're very funny.

771
00:43:45,907 --> 00:43:51,108
Uh, uh, well, I'm gonna
see you tomorrow... right?

772
00:43:51,245 --> 00:43:53,475
<i>... is almost impossible
to calculate.</i>

773
00:44:21,509 --> 00:44:22,498
- Hi.
- Oh.

774
00:44:22,643 --> 00:44:24,043
- Hi.
- Hi.

775
00:44:24,179 --> 00:44:26,647
Hi. Um, I...

776
00:44:26,782 --> 00:44:30,343
Sorry. I thought that I might
swing by to...

777
00:44:32,487 --> 00:44:34,011
... see if, uh...

778
00:44:36,625 --> 00:44:38,442
What are you working on?

779
00:44:38,815 --> 00:44:40,922
Uh... Well, we're working
on a piece

780
00:44:41,063 --> 00:44:42,963
on the communist rebels
in the Philippines.

781
00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:46,158
Good. That sounds great. So I went to
the bar the other night to see you.

782
00:44:46,301 --> 00:44:49,498
Yeah, I could tell. By the way
you ran in the other direction.

783
00:44:49,638 --> 00:44:51,697
Your arms, pinwheeling.

784
00:44:56,311 --> 00:44:58,336
Yeah. Okay, fair, true.

785
00:45:00,816 --> 00:45:02,545
I think that
you're sort of...

786
00:45:03,752 --> 00:45:05,686
comically great.

787
00:45:05,821 --> 00:45:09,348
And I thought it seemed
so promising so I bungled it,

788
00:45:09,491 --> 00:45:11,322
because that's what I do.
I bungle things.

789
00:45:11,460 --> 00:45:14,827
I bungle and I ramble, and that's
kind of like what I'm doing right now,

790
00:45:14,963 --> 00:45:18,126
talking about it.
You threw me off guard.

791
00:45:18,266 --> 00:45:20,277
You, with your...

792
00:45:20,602 --> 00:45:22,729
And the... and the, this...

793
00:45:22,871 --> 00:45:23,963
And the...

794
00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:27,704
My working on a loom?

795
00:45:27,843 --> 00:45:29,868
- My, my...
- No.

796
00:45:30,011 --> 00:45:33,970
- ... double-handed craps. My...
- I...

797
00:45:34,116 --> 00:45:37,211
- My Jazzercise.
- Rowing. Rowing.

798
00:45:37,353 --> 00:45:38,945
- Rowing?
- Championship?

799
00:45:39,088 --> 00:45:41,886
I never would have got that.

800
00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:43,992
You know what I mean.

801
00:45:44,127 --> 00:45:49,173
That I didn't think that you...
liked me.

802
00:45:49,704 --> 00:45:52,394
But I do. Oddly.

803
00:45:52,869 --> 00:45:55,313
You're... different.

804
00:45:55,757 --> 00:45:58,102
And a deeply terrible mime.

805
00:45:58,641 --> 00:46:01,439
Well, I asked you out.
Then when I saw you at the bar,

806
00:46:01,577 --> 00:46:04,478
I practically tackled you to the ground.
What part of that was confusing?

807
00:46:04,614 --> 00:46:06,912
Here, here, here,
sit down.

808
00:46:07,049 --> 00:46:10,849
Look, my-my radar for that
kind of thing is so bad.

809
00:46:10,987 --> 00:46:14,582
I-I mean, I don't know if a man's
interested in me until he's naked.

810
00:46:14,724 --> 00:46:16,453
I mean, the pants come off
and then I'm like,

811
00:46:16,592 --> 00:46:19,026
"Oh, I guess you don't really want
to see my CD collection

812
00:46:19,162 --> 00:46:23,292
- or talk about... Kerouac."
- You're nuts.

813
00:46:25,301 --> 00:46:26,807
Okay, look.

814
00:46:27,822 --> 00:46:29,267
Let's start over.

815
00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:32,431
Let's go out to dinner
like... regular people.

816
00:46:32,575 --> 00:46:35,305
Just take it slowly,
just... see where it leads.

817
00:46:35,444 --> 00:46:40,844
- How does that sound?
- That sounds... perfect.

818
00:46:45,454 --> 00:46:47,548
Oh, God,
I should go home.

819
00:46:48,692 --> 00:46:50,626
Oh, it's eight!
It's eight already.

820
00:46:50,761 --> 00:46:54,253
- I know.
- It's Mike's first day tomorrow.

821
00:46:54,398 --> 00:46:56,161
- You should definitely go.
- What's the big whoop?

822
00:46:56,300 --> 00:46:58,962
I mean, you know, he's done this
like a million times before.

823
00:46:59,102 --> 00:47:01,400
- Yeah.
- And he knows exactly what he's doing.

824
00:47:01,538 --> 00:47:02,903
- Yeah.
- So...

825
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,098
It's fine.

826
00:47:09,379 --> 00:47:12,041
He didn't open a bottle of
40-year-old Bruichladdich, did he?

827
00:47:13,317 --> 00:47:14,682
How do you know that?

828
00:47:16,854 --> 00:47:18,320
What?

829
00:47:19,415 --> 00:47:20,421
When I was working with him,

830
00:47:20,557 --> 00:47:23,754
if there was something that
he didn't want to do, the Oscars,

831
00:47:23,894 --> 00:47:26,692
the Olympics, something that people
might actually get a tiny twinge

832
00:47:26,830 --> 00:47:30,926
of pleasure from, the night before,
he would go on a bender.

833
00:47:31,468 --> 00:47:34,528
Call in sick for work
the next day.

834
00:47:35,372 --> 00:47:38,899
No. No, no. This is ridiculous.
I-I'm not...

835
00:47:39,042 --> 00:47:41,067
I'm not going out there
and chasing him around.

836
00:47:41,211 --> 00:47:44,669
If he wants to screw this up,
that is his problem.

837
00:47:48,733 --> 00:47:51,919
- Start at Elaine's.
- Oh, God, thank you. Thank you.

838
00:47:53,523 --> 00:47:54,963
I'm sorry.

839
00:47:55,392 --> 00:47:57,257
We'll do it again sometime.

840
00:48:05,503 --> 00:48:07,027
Thanks.

841
00:48:09,607 --> 00:48:10,699
- Pomeroy?
- Yeah.

842
00:48:10,842 --> 00:48:12,707
He was here.
He left about an hour ago.

843
00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:45,066
Oh, no. The little woman.

844
00:48:45,977 --> 00:48:48,309
- Incoming.
- Jesus Christ, Pomeroy,

845
00:48:48,446 --> 00:48:50,277
they're getting
younger and younger.

846
00:48:52,850 --> 00:48:55,318
Mike.
I need to talk to you.

847
00:48:55,453 --> 00:48:58,479
Why? Is the baby mine?

848
00:48:59,824 --> 00:49:03,453
I will have you know that this show
is very important to a lot of people,

849
00:49:03,594 --> 00:49:07,894
including, but not limited, to me.
My ass is on the line here.

850
00:49:08,032 --> 00:49:11,058
Actually,
your ass is irrelevant.

851
00:49:11,202 --> 00:49:13,831
You're just a footnote.
It's my ass,

852
00:49:13,973 --> 00:49:17,670
my reputation,
my integrity. Mine!

853
00:49:17,810 --> 00:49:20,438
"Mine!" You're such an egotistical,
selfish person!

854
00:49:20,579 --> 00:49:22,570
I'm on-air talent!

855
00:49:26,452 --> 00:49:28,147
Get in.

856
00:49:29,588 --> 00:49:30,816
Hey!

857
00:49:35,094 --> 00:49:37,494
Okay, I'm home.
You can leave.

858
00:49:37,629 --> 00:49:39,893
Oh, no. No.

859
00:49:44,370 --> 00:49:45,509
Wow.

860
00:49:53,012 --> 00:49:55,003
Oh, my God.

861
00:49:59,284 --> 00:50:01,252
Is-is that a real...?

862
00:50:01,387 --> 00:50:03,287
Of course.

863
00:50:12,631 --> 00:50:14,758
You're alone tonight, huh?

864
00:50:15,242 --> 00:50:18,535
- Uh...
- Makes sense.

865
00:50:20,039 --> 00:50:21,939
Let me guess.

866
00:50:23,777 --> 00:50:25,608
You meet a guy.

867
00:50:25,745 --> 00:50:28,305
You have about three dates.

868
00:50:28,448 --> 00:50:31,315
Spend the whole time talking
about your job.

869
00:50:32,285 --> 00:50:34,810
He loses your phone number.

870
00:50:38,425 --> 00:50:41,758
Aside from your...
obvious father issues,

871
00:50:41,895 --> 00:50:43,590
what'd he do?

872
00:50:43,730 --> 00:50:45,755
Leave you? Die?

873
00:50:45,899 --> 00:50:49,858
You've got this...
repellent moxie.

874
00:50:50,003 --> 00:50:52,267
Look at all the stories
you could be doing here.

875
00:50:53,001 --> 00:50:56,685
About art and hunting
and fishing...

876
00:50:57,210 --> 00:50:59,940
I mean,
you have grandchildren.

877
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,412
I-I didn't even know
you had kids.

878
00:51:03,516 --> 00:51:05,484
Look, we could be
doing parenting segments.

879
00:51:05,618 --> 00:51:08,018
You should invite them
down to the show.

880
00:51:09,923 --> 00:51:12,255
The ungrateful little bastards.

881
00:51:12,392 --> 00:51:14,165
I don't think so.

882
00:51:14,327 --> 00:51:16,557
Well, the little tour's over.

883
00:51:17,664 --> 00:51:20,064
Time to go back
to your sad little life.

884
00:51:20,606 --> 00:51:23,465
I'm not going anywhere
until we are on the air.

885
00:51:23,603 --> 00:51:25,969
Well, please don't snore.
I'm a light sleeper.

886
00:51:26,106 --> 00:51:28,046
I'm not going
to be sleeping.

887
00:51:41,155 --> 00:51:42,213
Good night.

888
00:51:42,356 --> 00:51:44,950
- Good night.
- Good night.

889
00:52:42,550 --> 00:52:44,347
Let's go, girl.

890
00:52:53,028 --> 00:52:55,826
- What are you doing?
- Have you ever seen a real egg?

891
00:52:56,344 --> 00:52:59,058
These are from
pastured hens in Maryland.

892
00:52:59,201 --> 00:53:03,604
- Yeah. We have to go.
- I have them delivered once a week.

893
00:53:03,738 --> 00:53:05,413
We have to go.

894
00:53:06,041 --> 00:53:08,976
Now, the beauty of a frittata

895
00:53:09,110 --> 00:53:11,670
is that it can be made
with any ingredient.

896
00:53:11,813 --> 00:53:14,213
Anything that's
in your refrigerator.

897
00:53:14,349 --> 00:53:17,045
- Good. Get dressed.
- What? You want me to starve?

898
00:53:17,185 --> 00:53:19,517
I've got to be
in tip-top shape.

899
00:53:19,654 --> 00:53:23,021
I'm going to appear on
national television in front of...

900
00:53:23,158 --> 00:53:27,373
- what? Six or eight people.
- Mike, come on.

901
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:30,020
Coffee?

902
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:34,124
What few people know
is that the frittata

903
00:53:34,269 --> 00:53:37,261
was meant to be eaten
at room temperature.

904
00:53:37,405 --> 00:53:39,464
- It was invented in Italy...
- Come on.

905
00:53:39,608 --> 00:53:42,873
- ... for the afternoon repast.
- Look, guess what?

906
00:53:43,011 --> 00:53:45,343
I don't really care about
your epicurean breakfast, okay?

907
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:48,278
I just need you to walk faster,
because we are going to be late.

908
00:53:51,086 --> 00:53:53,987
- Hey.
- Hello, there.

909
00:53:54,122 --> 00:53:56,818
- Where the hell have you been?
- It's a long story.

910
00:53:56,958 --> 00:53:58,721
She spent the night
at my place.

911
00:54:05,487 --> 00:54:07,801
Oh, come on, everyone.
I slept on the couch.

912
00:54:07,937 --> 00:54:12,567
Until I woke her up with my...
African rain stick.

913
00:54:16,579 --> 00:54:21,175
All right. Okay. It's Mike's first show,
so it's a really big day for us.

914
00:54:21,317 --> 00:54:23,842
- Fire me today.
- Yeah, so let's go...

915
00:54:23,986 --> 00:54:25,351
through the lineup
from the top.

916
00:54:26,089 --> 00:54:26,520
One more time.

917
00:54:26,656 --> 00:54:29,648
We start with eight, full track.
We'll be cutting to nine with announce.

918
00:54:29,792 --> 00:54:32,260
Nine will reveal the jib.
Jib, start a little wider.

919
00:54:32,676 --> 00:54:35,558
Okay. What are they promoing
on the "Today Show" today?

920
00:54:35,698 --> 00:54:37,689
- What aren't they promoing?
- What?

921
00:54:38,639 --> 00:54:40,965
Oh. Crap. No.
Vieira scored that interview

922
00:54:41,103 --> 00:54:44,470
with the... drunk-driving Playboy Playmate?
What's on G.M.A.?

923
00:54:44,607 --> 00:54:47,167
- Well, she's doin' Clooney. Yeah.
- Bitch.

924
00:54:47,310 --> 00:54:50,837
Try not to bore the nation into a coma
with your dull news crap, okay?

925
00:54:50,980 --> 00:54:52,757
Yes, certainly.

926
00:54:53,082 --> 00:54:55,880
Oh, and, uh, suck it.

927
00:54:57,186 --> 00:55:00,280
Well, they look great together,
so that's promising.

928
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:02,152
Oh, heavenly ghost
of Edward R. Murrow.

929
00:55:02,291 --> 00:55:05,385
Okay, the Jewish guy is
crossing himself, so we're confident.

930
00:55:05,528 --> 00:55:07,257
Thirty seconds to air.
Everybody ready?

931
00:55:07,396 --> 00:55:08,694
- They know about the cake?
- Mm-hm.

932
00:55:08,694 --> 00:55:10,996
Everybody does? Stage manager's
got that covered? Good.

933
00:55:11,133 --> 00:55:13,500
- Cake is good to go. D-Day.
- I want the double matte through

934
00:55:13,637 --> 00:55:17,368
both names, both names.
Great. Okay, stand by all...

935
00:55:17,507 --> 00:55:20,032
Stand by, ticker.
Stand by, Deko, that's great.

936
00:55:20,177 --> 00:55:21,906
- You ready for this?
- I'm ready. Are you ready?

937
00:55:22,045 --> 00:55:25,139
Stand by, announce.
Ready to roll nine.

938
00:55:25,282 --> 00:55:27,682
Here we go and roll nine.
Take nine.

939
00:55:27,818 --> 00:55:30,309
- We're good so far.
- Stand by to go on four.

940
00:55:30,454 --> 00:55:32,513
- And... here we go.
- ...on Daybreak.

941
00:55:32,656 --> 00:55:33,953
- And go on four.
- Seven.

942
00:55:34,091 --> 00:55:35,422
- Reveals four.
- There they are.

943
00:55:35,559 --> 00:55:38,494
- Five.
- Four, three...

944
00:55:38,628 --> 00:55:42,394
- ...and Mike Pomeroy.
- Go dissolve to Mike and cue them.

945
00:55:42,532 --> 00:55:43,760
Good morning, everyone.

946
00:55:43,900 --> 00:55:48,132
Uh, before we begin, today is
a historic moment here on "Daybreak".

947
00:55:48,271 --> 00:55:52,037
Today's the day that... Mike Pomeroy
joins our little show.

948
00:55:52,175 --> 00:55:55,611
We are so lucky to have a journalist
of your caliber here with us, Mike.

949
00:55:55,746 --> 00:55:58,340
We're just... what can we say except,
welcome, welcome.

950
00:55:58,482 --> 00:55:59,769
Yes.

951
00:56:00,917 --> 00:56:03,044
- He said yes.
- That's it?

952
00:56:03,186 --> 00:56:04,393
- Yes?
- Yes.

953
00:56:04,393 --> 00:56:06,375
- He said yes.
- You gotta be kidding me.

954
00:56:06,375 --> 00:56:07,553
- That's great.
- That's all it is.

955
00:56:07,691 --> 00:56:09,886
- Hey, bring on the cake.
- We have a little surprise for you.

956
00:56:10,026 --> 00:56:13,962
- Push in the cake.
- Happy First Day to you

957
00:56:14,097 --> 00:56:17,032
- Happy First Day to you.
- Ready three on Jane.

958
00:56:17,167 --> 00:56:20,398
- Happy First...
- Thank you.

959
00:56:20,537 --> 00:56:22,937
- Now on to today's top stories.
- Go, take it.

960
00:56:23,073 --> 00:56:27,033
<i>In Texas today, severe weather
continues to plague the Gulf Coast.</i>

961
00:56:27,178 --> 00:56:29,874
He's not buyin' it. Wow.

962
00:56:30,014 --> 00:56:32,778
Okay, all right, very good.
So far, he's a cozy blanket.

963
00:56:32,917 --> 00:56:35,579
I need 22. Great.

964
00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:38,382
... sexual offender is a Caucasian male
in his late thirties,

965
00:56:38,523 --> 00:56:41,720
approximately six feet tall.
He apparently works alone,

966
00:56:41,859 --> 00:56:45,090
gaining access to homes through
unlocked windows and doors.

967
00:56:45,229 --> 00:56:46,924
- Stand by to change.
- Local police in Milwaukee

968
00:56:47,064 --> 00:56:50,591
<i>are asking anyone who recognizes this
sketch to contact them immediately.</i>

969
00:56:50,735 --> 00:56:53,203
- Change your graphic. And change it.
- In other news,

970
00:56:53,337 --> 00:56:56,864
<i>former President Jimmy Carter
continued his campaign</i>

971
00:56:57,008 --> 00:56:59,169
<i>- for human rights in Beijing this week.
- Hey! Hey!</i>

972
00:56:59,310 --> 00:57:00,607
- What?
- Guys, the-the...

973
00:57:00,745 --> 00:57:02,178
- The graphic.
- Are you...?

974
00:57:02,313 --> 00:57:04,975
- Change the graphic!
- See, the-the-the thing on the...

975
00:57:05,116 --> 00:57:06,413
- ...on the graphic.
- Lose the graphic!

976
00:57:06,551 --> 00:57:07,540
- Guys!
- Lose it!

977
00:57:07,685 --> 00:57:11,121
Get the... the font on the graphic,
like the type on the...

978
00:57:11,255 --> 00:57:13,018
- Please.
- China has been accused

979
00:57:13,157 --> 00:57:16,456
<i>- by detractors of backsliding...
- You just...</i>

980
00:57:16,594 --> 00:57:19,332
Yep, yep.
Yep, yep, yep.

981
00:57:19,964 --> 00:57:21,932
Stand by to change.
Deko in.

982
00:57:22,066 --> 00:57:23,158
<i>Stand by for the weather.</i>

983
00:57:23,301 --> 00:57:25,633
Now, for first look at weather,
here's Ernie Appleby.

984
00:57:25,770 --> 00:57:27,217
Thanks, Colleen.

985
00:57:27,405 --> 00:57:30,374
I'd like to take a moment to welcome
Mike Pomeroy to his first broadcast.

986
00:57:30,508 --> 00:57:34,535
As one hurricane said to another,
I have my eye on you.

987
00:57:35,460 --> 00:57:38,809
Ohh... Booo!

988
00:57:38,884 --> 00:57:41,375
And lookin' across the country today,
you'll see we still have

989
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,511
that high-pressure system
comin' out of the Midwest.

990
00:57:43,655 --> 00:57:46,180
We'll dissolve to tape.
Tape, stand by.

991
00:57:46,325 --> 00:57:48,850
I want a center shot. Just keep...
Just center on one. Center on one.

992
00:57:48,994 --> 00:57:51,792
That's perfect. Here we...
Okay, great. Ready one. Ready two.

993
00:57:51,930 --> 00:57:53,363
And go two.

994
00:57:53,499 --> 00:57:55,194
Dissolve to Mike, and cue them.

995
00:57:55,334 --> 00:57:57,165
And ticker in.

996
00:57:57,302 --> 00:58:00,237
Tomorrow on "Daybreak", we'll show you
eight things you didn't know

997
00:58:00,372 --> 00:58:03,000
you could do with potatoes.
Ooh. Should be fun.

998
00:58:03,141 --> 00:58:07,339
Also, we'll talk to some relief workers
who say the international community

999
00:58:07,479 --> 00:58:10,243
- has abrogated its duty to protect...
- What the hell is abrogated?

1000
00:58:10,382 --> 00:58:12,247
That wasn't
on the teleprompter.

1001
00:58:12,384 --> 00:58:15,114
- Ready to widen on two.
- And that's our show for this morning.

1002
00:58:15,254 --> 00:58:17,848
Uh, welcome to
the "Daybreak" family, Mike.

1003
00:58:17,990 --> 00:58:21,892
- And thank you...
- Thank you, everyone. Goodbye.

1004
00:58:22,027 --> 00:58:23,722
Goodbye.

1005
00:58:24,930 --> 00:58:26,397
Goodbye.

1006
00:58:26,532 --> 00:58:27,863
Goodbye.

1007
00:58:28,433 --> 00:58:30,298
- Goodbye.
- How many is that?

1008
00:58:30,435 --> 00:58:32,733
- Goodbye.
- Three each.

1009
00:58:32,871 --> 00:58:35,533
- Bye.
- And we're out!

1010
00:58:35,674 --> 00:58:39,166
- Fade to black. Here we go.
- Bye-bye.

1011
00:58:41,547 --> 00:58:42,536
You know what you are?

1012
00:58:42,681 --> 00:58:45,309
Excuse me for saying this,
but you're an asshole, okay?

1013
00:58:45,450 --> 00:58:49,478
- Becky! What's her last name?
- You said you would banter!

1014
00:58:49,622 --> 00:58:52,785
No, no, no, no.
You said I would banter.

1015
00:58:52,926 --> 00:58:55,258
I said I would anchor
a news show.

1016
00:58:55,395 --> 00:58:59,297
That's what my contract calls for.
And that's what I'm going to do.

1017
00:58:59,432 --> 00:59:02,367
But, Mike, you can't just go out there
and give monosyllabic answers

1018
00:59:02,502 --> 00:59:05,869
- and talk about... natural disasters!
- Are you sure?

1019
00:59:06,005 --> 00:59:09,634
Cause I think that's what I just did.
Anyway, what are you doing here?

1020
00:59:09,776 --> 00:59:11,073
You have to get back
to your office

1021
00:59:11,210 --> 00:59:13,610
and wait for your phone call...
from Jimmy Carter.

1022
00:59:13,746 --> 00:59:18,877
- What?
- Jimmy Carter, "sexual offender".

1023
00:59:19,018 --> 00:59:21,476
Now, go away, I'm busy.

1024
00:59:21,621 --> 00:59:24,647
- But Mike, can you just promise...
- Go away.

1025
00:59:26,526 --> 00:59:29,552
Go away.
I just go away!

1026
00:59:36,769 --> 00:59:39,795
Hey. It wasn't that bad.

1027
00:59:44,377 --> 00:59:46,665
I don't wanna talk about it.

1028
00:59:46,779 --> 00:59:48,007
Okay.

1029
00:59:51,284 --> 00:59:53,428
- There's a plan.
- Mm-hm.

1030
00:59:59,726 --> 01:00:01,160
Sorry, just...

1031
01:00:01,862 --> 01:00:02,851
Hey.

1032
01:00:05,199 --> 01:00:07,531
I may need to see
who that is.

1033
01:00:08,469 --> 01:00:10,994
- Okay. What if... what if something happens?
- Then someone else

1034
01:00:11,138 --> 01:00:13,368
will cover
the world's biggest pumpkin.

1035
01:00:14,708 --> 01:00:15,936
- That's not fair.
- No.

1036
01:00:16,076 --> 01:00:18,067
No. Because you work for
a magazine show.

1037
01:00:18,212 --> 01:00:20,043
- Yes.
- And you do one 15-minute story...

1038
01:00:20,180 --> 01:00:21,381
- That's right.
- ... every two months.

1039
01:00:21,381 --> 01:00:21,763
Two months.

1040
01:00:21,763 --> 01:00:26,148
And we are doing 15 stories a day,
none more than three minutes each,

1041
01:00:26,286 --> 01:00:28,652
I mean, maybe three and a half,
if it's the President

1042
01:00:28,789 --> 01:00:31,257
or they're nude photos
or something...

1043
01:00:31,392 --> 01:00:33,860
How reliable
is your alarm clock?

1044
01:00:42,336 --> 01:00:45,897
<i>... is making progress.
However, one good piece of news</i>

1045
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:49,134
<i>- is that the winds have come in...
- What's goin' on?</i>

1046
01:00:49,276 --> 01:00:51,574
Fire out west.
They're looking for an arsonist

1047
01:00:51,712 --> 01:00:54,681
and they think that he might have
set the fire, like, three weeks ago?

1048
01:00:54,815 --> 01:00:56,180
I mean, he could be
a serial offender.

1049
01:00:56,316 --> 01:00:59,080
- It's the middle of the night.
- I'm sorry.

1050
01:01:00,954 --> 01:01:05,084
I... have had
such a lovely time.

1051
01:01:05,225 --> 01:01:07,887
I really have and, um, I...

1052
01:01:08,028 --> 01:01:11,528
- I'm so glad that we...
- Go.

1053
01:01:12,767 --> 01:01:15,964
- What?
- You want to go. You should go.

1054
01:01:18,373 --> 01:01:20,273
Are you sure about that?

1055
01:01:21,810 --> 01:01:23,175
Get out of here.

1056
01:01:30,518 --> 01:01:31,746
Thank you.

1057
01:02:27,209 --> 01:02:29,700
"Good Morning America"
got the mother of the arsonist.

1058
01:02:29,845 --> 01:02:33,804
What? Oh! Ass!

1059
01:02:35,184 --> 01:02:40,178
Don't. All right, I need
an arsonist spouse or something.

1060
01:02:40,971 --> 01:02:41,983
<i>- Damn it.
- So you're gettin'scooped</i>

1061
01:02:42,124 --> 01:02:45,924
<i>like every morning. How come?
I mean, do you have any kind of plan?</i>

1062
01:02:46,061 --> 01:02:48,655
Yes, the show will still...
need some fine-tuning...

1063
01:02:48,798 --> 01:02:50,925
<i>Fine-tuning? Really?</i>

1064
01:02:51,066 --> 01:02:52,727
<i>Can you tune something
when nothing is working?</i>

1065
01:02:52,868 --> 01:02:55,336
Mike Pomeroy is the key
to making this show work.

1066
01:02:55,471 --> 01:02:57,962
<i>Well, at the moment, he's ruining
your show, and to be honest,</i>

1067
01:02:58,107 --> 01:03:00,132
<i>you haven't got much time
for fine-tuning, right?</i>

1068
01:03:00,276 --> 01:03:02,608
- Yeah. I'm not worried.
- You're... Really?

1069
01:03:02,745 --> 01:03:04,212
I'm... I'm not worried.

1070
01:03:04,346 --> 01:03:06,644
How about profiles?
We're doing a piece on Daniel Boulud.

1071
01:03:06,782 --> 01:03:09,808
Does it end with me in
the kitchen making profiterole?

1072
01:03:09,952 --> 01:03:11,010
No.

1073
01:03:12,054 --> 01:03:14,682
Cornish hens.
Okay, forget that.

1074
01:03:14,824 --> 01:03:17,759
Uh... How about an interview
with Tim McGraw and Faith Hill?

1075
01:03:17,893 --> 01:03:21,599
Either one of them becomes president
or cures cancer, let me know.

1076
01:03:21,997 --> 01:03:24,192
Oh, but I do have
one good lead.

1077
01:03:24,333 --> 01:03:26,267
Yeah? Yeah, really?

1078
01:03:26,402 --> 01:03:31,271
- I hear you're dating Senor Dipshit.
- Uh... What?

1079
01:03:31,407 --> 01:03:33,534
- How did you make that happen?
- Who told you that?

1080
01:03:33,676 --> 01:03:36,339
- Him and you, really?
- No, I'm...

1081
01:03:36,479 --> 01:03:40,006
Because usually, you know, he dates
girls that are sort of, you know with...

1082
01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:43,085
Taffy pullers with...
heavy meatballs?

1083
01:03:43,220 --> 01:03:46,246
There's a developing story
coming out of Albany, though.

1084
01:03:46,389 --> 01:03:48,584
The governor's
tax returns are being audited.

1085
01:03:48,725 --> 01:03:51,888
Oh, for God's sakes,
you're killing me, no!

1086
01:03:52,028 --> 01:03:54,622
- I want people to get to know you.
- No, you don't.

1087
01:03:54,764 --> 01:03:58,530
You want me to pander so you can
sell erectile dysfunction medication.

1088
01:03:58,668 --> 01:04:00,295
- Oh, no, I don't.
- Well, I won't!

1089
01:04:00,437 --> 01:04:02,428
Oh, my God!
It's you! You're that guy!

1090
01:04:02,572 --> 01:04:05,666
I just saw you this morning and
everyone was eating stuffed zucchini,

1091
01:04:05,809 --> 01:04:08,471
and you were cranky about it. I was
like "Oh, my God, there's that guy!"

1092
01:04:08,612 --> 01:04:11,274
You used to do news, right?
Like a while ago? It's...

1093
01:04:12,649 --> 01:04:15,015
Please, remove your hand
from my person. Thank you.

1094
01:04:15,151 --> 01:04:19,520
Oh, this is great! Thank you!
I can't believe it! Dan Rather!

1095
01:04:20,457 --> 01:04:23,290
- Dan Rather!
- See? People want to like you.

1096
01:04:23,426 --> 01:04:25,758
You're, uh...
you're in their home every day,

1097
01:04:25,896 --> 01:04:28,091
and-and, you know,
it's an honor and, you know,

1098
01:04:28,231 --> 01:04:32,190
why can't you just do stories
people might enjoy? Mike...

1099
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,803
We're in trouble.
I'm in trouble.

1100
01:04:34,938 --> 01:04:36,838
Help me, please.

1101
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:42,337
Dan Rather.
For Christ's sake.

1102
01:04:42,729 --> 01:04:44,777
Becky! Becky!

1103
01:04:44,915 --> 01:04:45,993
Becky.

1104
01:04:46,783 --> 01:04:50,105
I have a great idea for a segment.
Get ready for this.

1105
01:04:50,354 --> 01:04:53,755
Past lives. If we could
find out who celebrities

1106
01:04:53,891 --> 01:04:57,054
had been in their past lives, I think
that would be terrific, don't you?

1107
01:04:57,194 --> 01:05:02,478
I mean, what if Justin Timberlake
had been Abraham Lincoln?

1108
01:05:03,534 --> 01:05:07,561
Many actors have changed
their names to be taken more seriously.

1109
01:05:07,705 --> 01:05:09,434
Ricky Schroder became Rick.

1110
01:05:09,573 --> 01:05:12,007
<i>The Rock became
Dwayne Johnson.</i>

1111
01:05:12,143 --> 01:05:14,577
<i>And Portia de Rossi's
name used to be Amanda,</i>

1112
01:05:14,712 --> 01:05:17,306
<i>but she changed it so as to
sound more like the car,</i>

1113
01:05:17,448 --> 01:05:19,916
which she felt sounded
more impressorial.

1114
01:05:20,051 --> 01:05:23,509
<i>A new name has become the latest,
hottest accessory for celebrities,</i>

1115
01:05:23,654 --> 01:05:25,281
like a Birkin bag
or a baby.

1116
01:05:25,423 --> 01:05:27,948
<i>Back to you,
Mike or... Michael.</i>

1117
01:05:28,092 --> 01:05:31,493
- Dissolve to Mike and ticker in.
- How did she get here?

1118
01:05:32,178 --> 01:05:35,759
- Don't ask.
- What? Is she sleeping with someone?

1119
01:05:37,868 --> 01:05:38,891
Pardon me?

1120
01:05:40,171 --> 01:05:41,604
Thanks.

1121
01:05:51,649 --> 01:05:54,812
- Have you seen these?
- Yes, but...

1122
01:05:54,952 --> 01:05:57,318
You wanna make the ratings worse?
That's why you came here?

1123
01:05:57,455 --> 01:06:02,052
Well, no. Mike is still...
getting up to speed.

1124
01:06:02,194 --> 01:06:03,923
- I'm working on a couple elements.
- Gettin' Mike up to speed?

1125
01:06:04,062 --> 01:06:06,223
- Yeah.
- You're circling the drain.

1126
01:06:06,365 --> 01:06:09,857
You rarely book anybody decent.
Because of the ratings.

1127
01:06:10,002 --> 01:06:12,232
- you're not gettin' any big interviews.
- We just need more time.

1128
01:06:13,284 --> 01:06:15,636
- Just a little...
- God, you're, you're more naive

1129
01:06:15,774 --> 01:06:19,540
- than I-I thought, aren't you?
- Excuse me?

1130
01:06:20,290 --> 01:06:22,739
The network wants
to cancel the show.

1131
01:06:24,116 --> 01:06:27,779
They wanna run game shows
and syndicated talk instead.

1132
01:06:30,188 --> 01:06:32,122
For a second,
I thought you might have a shot,

1133
01:06:32,257 --> 01:06:33,986
especially when you got Pomeroy.
But the joke's on me,

1134
01:06:34,126 --> 01:06:36,720
cause it turns out you failed even more
completely than the network could've thought.

1135
01:06:36,862 --> 01:06:38,955
In six weeks,
they cancel the show.

1136
01:06:39,097 --> 01:06:41,588
So, not only will you have significantly
weakened our news division,

1137
01:06:41,733 --> 01:06:43,504
you will have presided over the
demise of a show that's been

1138
01:06:43,504 --> 01:06:45,803
on the air for 47 years!
Nice work.

1139
01:06:45,937 --> 01:06:49,304
Why don't you go over to PBS and see
if you can kill Sesame Street.

1140
01:06:53,245 --> 01:06:55,304
Go. You've wasted
enough of my time.

1141
01:06:57,182 --> 01:07:00,515
We have six weeks.
Can you... just not tell anyone yet?

1142
01:07:00,652 --> 01:07:02,779
Because morale isn't
exactly at a peak.

1143
01:07:02,921 --> 01:07:05,685
Fine. Tell 'em when what you want to.
It doesn't really matter, does it?

1144
01:07:07,559 --> 01:07:09,857
Piper, get Phil Griffin
on the phone.

1145
01:07:09,995 --> 01:07:11,553
Tell him if I don't hear
from him by 5 o'clock,

1146
01:07:11,696 --> 01:07:14,801
those Super Bowl tickets
go to Phyllis McGrady!

1147
01:07:15,234 --> 01:07:17,361
<I>... Joins us
now with details. Roger.

1148
01:07:17,503 --> 01:07:20,597
<i>It certainly is a happy day
here on Lincoln Road</i>

1149
01:07:20,740 --> 01:07:22,731
<i>between Bedford Avenue
and Rogers Avenue.</i>

1150
01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:25,139
<i>This is, yes, officials...</i>

1151
01:07:32,118 --> 01:07:33,415
- We're live at five, people.
- O-kay.

1152
01:07:33,553 --> 01:07:36,954
Feathery, fleecy, flocculent?

1153
01:07:37,090 --> 01:07:41,117
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
- What? Wha-what's going on now?

1154
01:07:41,260 --> 01:07:44,127
Mike is offended by a word
in the next story.

1155
01:07:44,263 --> 01:07:47,164
He's offended.
It's about Easter chicks.

1156
01:07:47,300 --> 01:07:48,961
I'm not saying the word "fluffy".

1157
01:07:49,102 --> 01:07:51,502
It's bad enough I have to do
these ridiculous stories.

1158
01:07:51,637 --> 01:07:53,537
Hey, you know what, buddy?
Guess what? Last week,

1159
01:07:53,673 --> 01:07:56,471
I had to use the words "rectal"
and "moisture" in the same sentence.

1160
01:07:56,609 --> 01:07:59,572
- Well, first dates can be awkward.
- Mike!

1161
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:01,504
- Becky...
- That's it!

1162
01:08:01,647 --> 01:08:04,673
- Becky, Becky, what are you doin'?
- I've had enough!

1163
01:08:05,751 --> 01:08:08,447
- Mike? I need to talk to you.
- Becky, we're back in 60.

1164
01:08:08,588 --> 01:08:11,113
I'm sorry,
this'll just take a second.

1165
01:08:11,257 --> 01:08:14,317
I've looked up to you
all my life.

1166
01:08:14,460 --> 01:08:18,362
You know that? I actually idolized you.
My dad and I used to watch you on TV.

1167
01:08:18,498 --> 01:08:21,729
So just, you know, imagine
my surprise when it turns out

1168
01:08:21,868 --> 01:08:25,032
that you're actually
the worst person in the entire world.

1169
01:08:25,172 --> 01:08:29,006
- Not the third worst! The worst!
- What's goin' on?

1170
01:08:29,143 --> 01:08:32,670
Pomeroy. He broke
the latest "Daybreak" EP.

1171
01:08:32,813 --> 01:08:34,678
<i>... how lucky we all are
to have these jobs,</i>

1172
01:08:34,815 --> 01:08:36,646
<i>- how quickly that can be taken away.
- We're back in...</i>

1173
01:08:36,783 --> 01:08:39,684
And there's this guy, this really
kind of great, smokin' guy

1174
01:08:39,820 --> 01:08:42,983
who can actually stand me
long enough to have sex with me.

1175
01:08:44,655 --> 01:08:48,084
And you know what? It's all just
a big mess. Because of you!

1176
01:08:48,228 --> 01:08:51,163
You know, nobody... nobody
can do their jobs well around here

1177
01:08:51,298 --> 01:08:54,529
because you can't be bothered
to do yours at all!

1178
01:08:54,668 --> 01:08:56,299
And we're back.

1179
01:08:59,273 --> 01:09:02,367
Welcome back to "Daybreak".
And now, with a check of the weather,

1180
01:09:02,509 --> 01:09:04,568
- here's Ernie.
- Take Ernie on the plaza.

1181
01:09:04,711 --> 01:09:08,511
<i>Thanks, Colleen. Surprisingly
toasty day out here, isn't it, folks?</i>

1182
01:09:08,649 --> 01:09:11,482
<i>Yeah!</i>

1183
01:09:11,618 --> 01:09:14,951
<i>Good day to break out the bikini.
I know I'm wearing mine right now.</i>

1184
01:09:16,323 --> 01:09:19,918
All right. Well,
what do we have here?

1185
01:09:20,060 --> 01:09:21,994
Goodness, honey.
I did not put her up to this.

1186
01:09:22,129 --> 01:09:24,029
- Coke? Diet Coke?
- No, I don't want a Diet Coke. Thank you.

1187
01:09:24,164 --> 01:09:25,274
Step aside!

1188
01:09:28,669 --> 01:09:32,935
- Jerry, I would like to talk to you.
- Now, you're gonna bust a cap in my ass?

1189
01:09:33,073 --> 01:09:37,010
What if I get the ratings up?
We've got six weeks.

1190
01:09:37,211 --> 01:09:39,010
What if I move that needle
just enough?

1191
01:09:39,147 --> 01:09:41,445
- You won't.
- We'll, you're... you don't know that.

1192
01:09:41,583 --> 01:09:42,880
- Becky.
- There's gotta be some number

1193
01:09:43,017 --> 01:09:46,009
I can hit that will give us a shot, that
would give us an extra six months,

1194
01:09:46,154 --> 01:09:48,349
- something.
- Sure, if you got over one point five

1195
01:09:48,489 --> 01:09:51,856
- or something absurd like that...
- Done! So, I've got your word?

1196
01:09:51,993 --> 01:09:53,893
I get those ratings up more
than three quarters of a point,

1197
01:09:54,028 --> 01:09:56,360
- you give me more time?
- It won't happen.

1198
01:09:56,497 --> 01:09:58,159
We'll see about that.

1199
01:09:59,493 --> 01:10:02,396
Oh! And your girlfriend, Lisa?

1200
01:10:02,431 --> 01:10:04,838
Can you get her a dictionary
and stick her on somebody else's show?

1201
01:10:04,973 --> 01:10:06,907
Cause she's killing me.

1202
01:10:10,712 --> 01:10:14,307
Wow, well, look who the wind blew in!
What happened to you?

1203
01:10:14,510 --> 01:10:16,786
Well, we're gonna change
a few things.

1204
01:10:17,018 --> 01:10:18,986
- Okay.
- Is Ernie in place?

1205
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:22,317
Yes, he is. He'll be interviewing people
as they come off the coaster.

1206
01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:26,450
No, he won't. Not anymore, he's not.
We're gonna put him on that coaster.

1207
01:10:26,713 --> 01:10:30,299
We're gonna strap a handheld to the car
in front of him and then go live. Boom.

1208
01:10:30,398 --> 01:10:33,333
It's called "picking up the game",
people. Okay? So, from now on,

1209
01:10:33,468 --> 01:10:36,995
every single story that we do,
it's gonna have to be sensational!

1210
01:10:37,138 --> 01:10:39,402
We're gonna be more aggressive.
We're gonna work harder.

1211
01:10:39,540 --> 01:10:40,700
And we're gonna
do it right now.

1212
01:10:42,510 --> 01:10:45,348
- Are-are you gonna...?
- I'm not gonna sing!

1213
01:10:45,513 --> 01:10:46,946
Why do people ask me that?

1214
01:10:47,081 --> 01:10:50,275
So, the big question is,
are we gonna be able to hear his mike?

1215
01:10:50,319 --> 01:10:53,254
Yes, we will.
If he has a heart attack,

1216
01:10:53,389 --> 01:10:56,187
we'll be able to capture
every heart-rending scream.

1217
01:10:56,325 --> 01:10:59,260
- Really? Great.
- Cue her.

1218
01:10:59,395 --> 01:11:01,625
<i>Thrill-seekers have something
to look forward to this summer</i>

1219
01:11:01,764 --> 01:11:04,858
<i>as Six Flags unveils
a brand-new roller coaster.</i>

1220
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:08,094
The "Manhandler" is
the fastest coaster in the U.S.

1221
01:11:08,237 --> 01:11:12,298
- with speeds up to 130 miles an hour...
- Stand Ernie by. Here we go.

1222
01:11:12,441 --> 01:11:16,104
... ninety-five degrees. Our own
Ernie Appleby is getting a sneak peek

1223
01:11:16,245 --> 01:11:18,679
at this amazing new ride,
isn't that right, Ernie?

1224
01:11:18,814 --> 01:11:21,612
- Standing by. Open his mike.
- Ernie, can you hear us?

1225
01:11:21,750 --> 01:11:25,652
<i>Yes. Yes, I can. And so far,
it's a beautiful ride.</i>

1226
01:11:26,460 --> 01:11:29,121
<i>Uh, quite an amazing view
from up here.</i>

1227
01:11:29,258 --> 01:11:31,920
<i>Mostly blue skies.
Cumulus clouds on the horizon,</i>

1228
01:11:32,061 --> 01:11:33,528
always a good sign
this time of year.

1229
01:11:34,663 --> 01:11:37,063
<i>Might be heading
into our first dip.</i>

1230
01:11:37,199 --> 01:11:41,727
<i>Oh, my. Oh, my.</i>

1231
01:11:41,870 --> 01:11:45,397
Oh, fu...

1232
01:11:53,782 --> 01:11:55,340
No!

1233
01:11:56,885 --> 01:11:59,911
Oh, yeah.
No, this is a great idea.

1234
01:12:07,030 --> 01:12:09,658
- Please, make it stop!
- Take two.

1235
01:12:12,502 --> 01:12:16,199
What are you gonna do to him next?
Strap electrodes to his balls?

1236
01:12:16,339 --> 01:12:20,070
I actually felt sorry for that
animatronic puppet asshole.

1237
01:12:20,210 --> 01:12:23,202
Hey, look, we got 80,000 hits
on YouTube already.

1238
01:12:23,346 --> 01:12:26,008
And Ernie is absolutely thrilled.
Oh, and by the way,

1239
01:12:26,149 --> 01:12:27,639
we had another bump
in the minute-to-minutes.

1240
01:12:27,784 --> 01:12:31,311
- Becky, good stuff.
- Thank you! Lighten up, Mike.

1241
01:12:31,454 --> 01:12:34,116
You know what I've noticed?
People only say "Lighten up"

1242
01:12:34,257 --> 01:12:36,555
when they're gonna stick
their fist up your ass.

1243
01:12:36,693 --> 01:12:38,354
Well, you know what?
I hate to break it to you,

1244
01:12:38,495 --> 01:12:40,520
- but the fact is...
- Oh, my God, amazing segment.

1245
01:12:40,663 --> 01:12:45,396
Thank you. The world has been debating
news versus entertainment for years

1246
01:12:45,535 --> 01:12:47,594
and guess what?
Mike, your side lost.

1247
01:12:47,737 --> 01:12:50,650
- You know what?
- What?

1248
01:12:51,174 --> 01:12:54,541
You're wrong.
People are smart.

1249
01:12:54,677 --> 01:12:58,636
They want information. Not junk,
which is all you're willing to give them.

1250
01:12:58,782 --> 01:13:01,808
- Junk. Sugar, sugar, sugar.
- Excuse me.

1251
01:13:01,951 --> 01:13:03,646
- Oh. Okay.
- And more sugar.

1252
01:13:03,787 --> 01:13:06,347
Yeah, well, wha-wha-what would you
have them do, Mike?

1253
01:13:06,489 --> 01:13:12,485
Uh, uh, eat, ooh, ooh,
bran all day? Fiber, fiber, fiber?

1254
01:13:12,629 --> 01:13:15,258
We have to get
the ratings up, Mike,

1255
01:13:15,399 --> 01:13:20,132
or we can have a lot of high-minded
ideas and not be on the air.

1256
01:13:20,271 --> 01:13:23,399
This show may go down, but it's not
because I'm not trying my hardest.

1257
01:13:23,541 --> 01:13:28,444
You hear me? I don't care what
you do, but I'm not giving up.

1258
01:13:31,682 --> 01:13:34,699
Eh-eh. I wanna talk to you.
I wanna talk to you right now about Ernie.

1259
01:13:34,985 --> 01:13:36,418
- Oh, my God, you, too?
- Yes.

1260
01:13:36,554 --> 01:13:38,351
Why is everyone worried about Ernie?
You know, he's a grown man.

1261
01:13:38,489 --> 01:13:40,047
- Worried about Ernie? You kidding me?
- He signed release forms.

1262
01:13:40,191 --> 01:13:43,183
He's a hack.
Look, I see what you're doing.

1263
01:13:43,327 --> 01:13:45,818
I think it's great. It's exactly
what I've been waiting for,

1264
01:13:45,963 --> 01:13:48,295
so just, you know,
sign me up, coach. Put me in.

1265
01:13:48,432 --> 01:13:50,332
- Whatever you want to call it, all right?
- Really?

1266
01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:51,662
Yeah.

1267
01:13:52,736 --> 01:13:54,704
Do you have
any preexisting conditions?

1268
01:13:55,449 --> 01:13:58,138
Are you kidding? Look at me.
I'm a rock.

1269
01:14:07,885 --> 01:14:09,147
Would you like to hold him?

1270
01:14:09,286 --> 01:14:12,084
I would love to hold it,
dear little thing.

1271
01:14:12,223 --> 01:14:14,088
Watch it carefully.
He doesn't go in there.

1272
01:14:14,225 --> 01:14:15,214
Can you get it out though?

1273
01:14:16,594 --> 01:14:18,858
Mike wanted to be here for this.
Mike Pomeroy.

1274
01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:22,955
You know how he is.
He loves animals.

1275
01:14:23,100 --> 01:14:24,658
Have you just... You...
And then...

1276
01:14:43,088 --> 01:14:45,750
<i>Those are frog lips.
Does a frog open its lips ever?</i>

1277
01:14:45,891 --> 01:14:47,882
Ready four, take four.
Ready one. Take one.

1278
01:14:48,026 --> 01:14:49,721
Ready one. Take it.

1279
01:14:49,861 --> 01:14:51,522
- I would never do that.
- Kiss it.

1280
01:14:51,663 --> 01:14:54,257
How about a big kiss,
sucker?

1281
01:14:59,604 --> 01:15:01,196
That's a little, that's wrong.

1282
01:15:03,508 --> 01:15:05,339
That was so good.
Do it again.

1283
01:15:11,716 --> 01:15:14,514
Fitty, Fitty! Mr. Cent?
Hi! Uh... fan.

1284
01:15:14,653 --> 01:15:17,178
Big fan!
Take you to the candy shop

1285
01:15:17,322 --> 01:15:19,085
- Whoa, let you lick
- I heard the song.

1286
01:15:19,224 --> 01:15:22,022
I'm a producer for "Daybreak" and we
would so love to have you on our show.

1287
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:24,094
We would give you twice
as much time as the "Today Show".

1288
01:15:24,229 --> 01:15:27,995
And you could play four songs from
your new record. Just think about it.

1289
01:15:36,107 --> 01:15:37,075
Yeah!

1290
01:15:45,551 --> 01:15:46,813
Ready one, take one!
Ready two!

1291
01:15:59,265 --> 01:16:00,254
Well!

1292
01:16:00,399 --> 01:16:03,027
On the rabbi story, do you want
the transvestite prostitute

1293
01:16:03,169 --> 01:16:05,467
- to be dressed as a man or a woman?
- A man.

1294
01:16:05,605 --> 01:16:06,936
- Man.
- No, a woman.

1295
01:16:07,664 --> 01:16:10,839
No, have him/her start
the segment as a woman and then,

1296
01:16:10,977 --> 01:16:13,172
boom, after the break,
he/she comes back as a man!

1297
01:16:13,312 --> 01:16:15,780
- Yes. That's it.
- Yes. Yes.

1298
01:16:23,155 --> 01:16:24,918
Back to you, Colleen.

1299
01:16:27,326 --> 01:16:30,318
- All right! They've cut!
- Both. Emphatically.

1300
01:16:30,463 --> 01:16:32,192
Here are the ratings.

1301
01:16:32,999 --> 01:16:35,160
I-I know, I know.

1302
01:16:36,235 --> 01:16:38,135
Yes, yes.

1303
01:16:38,270 --> 01:16:40,602
And when we come back,
we'll tell you about

1304
01:16:40,740 --> 01:16:43,732
new ways to cope
with menopause.

1305
01:16:49,016 --> 01:16:50,745
New doorknobs.

1306
01:16:52,719 --> 01:16:54,016
Okay.

1307
01:16:54,154 --> 01:16:56,088
- And am I doing it right?
- Yes.

1308
01:16:56,223 --> 01:16:57,520
Oh, good. How do you know?
You're not looking.

1309
01:16:57,658 --> 01:17:02,288
Or... we could do a whole series
on senior weight loss. A five-parter.

1310
01:17:03,348 --> 01:17:06,298
We could get that health expert,
you know, the one with the...

1311
01:17:10,070 --> 01:17:12,595
It's good, it's good, it's good.
I'll do it.

1312
01:17:17,077 --> 01:17:18,169
Wait! Wait, look.

1313
01:17:19,146 --> 01:17:22,673
The week-to-weeks are better and
total viewers are up by five percent!

1314
01:17:22,816 --> 01:17:25,341
And those are not
good enough!

1315
01:17:25,485 --> 01:17:28,147
Turns out the burger patties were
contaminated with E. coli,

1316
01:17:28,288 --> 01:17:30,756
which can cause
cramping and diarrhea.

1317
01:17:30,891 --> 01:17:33,519
- Lose the ticker, music in...
- We'll be right back on "Daybreak".

1318
01:17:33,660 --> 01:17:36,094
Dissolve the logo.
And... mark.

1319
01:17:37,164 --> 01:17:38,756
And we're out.

1320
01:17:38,899 --> 01:17:42,062
Great, a story about uncontrollable
shitting and look who gets it.

1321
01:17:42,202 --> 01:17:44,193
Well, it's not
my sort of thing.

1322
01:17:45,405 --> 01:17:47,839
Can I just say one thing?
That's our job.

1323
01:17:47,974 --> 01:17:51,466
I know you think you're above it
and, of course, you... were above it

1324
01:17:51,611 --> 01:17:54,739
before you got fired. But now,
guess what, you're down in the muck

1325
01:17:54,881 --> 01:17:56,041
with the rest of us, Mike.

1326
01:17:56,183 --> 01:17:59,346
And yet I still have standards,
unfortunately for you.

1327
01:17:59,486 --> 01:18:01,853
- Suppose I don't have standards?
- Sure you do.

1328
01:18:01,989 --> 01:18:05,516
When you got your Pap smear on air,
you wore a silk robe.

1329
01:18:05,660 --> 01:18:07,560
- Okay!
- Classy touch.

1330
01:18:07,695 --> 01:18:09,128
- We're back in five...
- That is it!

1331
01:18:09,263 --> 01:18:11,254
I've had it with you!
I've had it!

1332
01:18:11,399 --> 01:18:13,526
- Three... and two...
- Go, two.

1333
01:18:13,668 --> 01:18:15,602
- ...one.
- Dissolve and cue.

1334
01:18:15,737 --> 01:18:19,264
Tomorrow on the show, Colleen will
make the British classic bangers

1335
01:18:19,407 --> 01:18:22,899
- and mash, with chef Gordon Ramsay.
- That's right, I will,

1336
01:18:23,044 --> 01:18:26,605
because you refuse to do it, Mike.
Guess... it's beneath you.

1337
01:18:26,748 --> 01:18:29,808
Well, that and it's tough to get
between you and a sausage, so...

1338
01:18:30,565 --> 01:18:32,044
<i>Sausage,
that's a good one.</i>

1339
01:18:32,186 --> 01:18:36,418
Yes, and also you are...
a fatuous, pretentious idiot,

1340
01:18:36,557 --> 01:18:39,458
<i>- so there's that.
- A fatuous idiot who makes</i>

1341
01:18:39,594 --> 01:18:43,291
- three times what you make.
- Well, that's our show for this morning.

1342
01:18:43,431 --> 01:18:47,458
See you tomorrow, folks.
Goodbye.

1343
01:18:47,602 --> 01:18:49,126
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

1344
01:18:49,270 --> 01:18:50,430
- Goodbye.
- And goodbye.

1345
01:18:50,571 --> 01:18:51,697
- Goodbye.
- Bye.

1346
01:18:51,839 --> 01:18:53,363
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Bye.

1347
01:18:53,508 --> 01:18:55,738
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Bye.

1348
01:18:56,361 --> 01:18:57,322
This is yesterday,

1349
01:18:57,945 --> 01:18:59,776
- after she insulted his tie.
- Right.

1350
01:18:59,914 --> 01:19:03,850
After he asked her if she cries
ice cubes. Huge spike.

1351
01:19:04,418 --> 01:19:05,749
They love it!

1352
01:19:05,887 --> 01:19:10,051
We're so close. I mean, we need this.
We're-we're-we're almost there.

1353
01:19:10,191 --> 01:19:13,753
Coming up in our next hour, we'll be
talking to people who successfully

1354
01:19:13,896 --> 01:19:15,955
completed this innovative
rehab program.

1355
01:19:16,098 --> 01:19:18,658
Might wanna pick up
a few tips there, Mike.

1356
01:19:18,801 --> 01:19:23,500
Do they have rehab programs for bitter
beauty queens with self-esteem issues?

1357
01:19:23,639 --> 01:19:25,937
I wonder about that
sometimes.

1358
01:19:26,074 --> 01:19:28,338
Sometimes.
Well, coming up next...

1359
01:19:28,763 --> 01:19:34,006
But they are... way better.
They're-they're-they're way up from last year.

1360
01:19:35,031 --> 01:19:37,983
I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm almost there.

1361
01:19:38,120 --> 01:19:39,951
So many people rely on this show.
They believe in it.

1362
01:19:40,088 --> 01:19:42,249
You still have until Friday.
That's the deal we made.

1363
01:19:42,391 --> 01:19:44,791
And those are still
not good enough.

1364
01:19:50,532 --> 01:19:53,968
<i>... so no real flooding to speak of in
the neighborhoods. But the concern is...</i>

1365
01:19:54,102 --> 01:19:56,627
<i>they are prepared...</i>

1366
01:19:56,772 --> 01:20:00,003
<i>- ...to help folks if necessary, Kitty.
- What?</i>

1367
01:20:00,142 --> 01:20:02,702
<i>Well, the center of
Iowa's second biggest city,</i>

1368
01:20:02,845 --> 01:20:04,813
<i>Cedar Rapids,
is already underwater.</i>

1369
01:20:07,549 --> 01:20:08,811
Sorry.

1370
01:20:11,420 --> 01:20:13,615
I mean,
our demos are getting better.

1371
01:20:13,755 --> 01:20:16,315
But our overall numbers, they're
just not where they should be.

1372
01:20:17,860 --> 01:20:20,192
We're just missing... something.

1373
01:20:20,329 --> 01:20:24,214
Well, maybe it's time for another
eight-part series on the orgasm.

1374
01:20:25,067 --> 01:20:27,400
Do you think so? I mean,

1375
01:20:27,537 --> 01:20:30,700
I don't know what else
we would possibly talk about.

1376
01:20:31,708 --> 01:20:33,938
- Oh, you're making fun of me.
- No.

1377
01:20:37,881 --> 01:20:39,246
Never mind.

1378
01:20:39,382 --> 01:20:41,179
Just, uh... doesn't matter.

1379
01:20:41,317 --> 01:20:44,252
I'll just, uh,
deal with it in the morning.

1380
01:20:46,756 --> 01:20:50,886
You look at me like there's something
wrong with me... all the time.

1381
01:20:51,027 --> 01:20:53,188
- And I can't, I can't do it.
- What?

1382
01:20:53,329 --> 01:20:55,763
That is the most ridiculous
statement you have ever made.

1383
01:20:55,899 --> 01:20:57,867
I can't let my guard down
for one second, you know.

1384
01:20:58,001 --> 01:21:02,131
I-I-I don't look at my BlackBerry and
I miss getting the next big story.

1385
01:21:02,272 --> 01:21:06,538
And I'm tired of feeling guilty
about my work. I ca... I can't.

1386
01:21:06,676 --> 01:21:08,075
Becky, wait a second!

1387
01:21:22,659 --> 01:21:26,493
Yeah. Okay. Look, that information's
a matter of public record.

1388
01:21:26,629 --> 01:21:29,126
I have a right to see it.
You know that.

1389
01:21:29,299 --> 01:21:31,665
You want me to come on
down there and I'll bring a crew?

1390
01:21:31,801 --> 01:21:33,428
Better yet, a subpoena.

1391
01:21:35,330 --> 01:21:37,337
Okay, and I think we
should end the segment

1392
01:21:37,474 --> 01:21:39,738
with Ernie being tarred and feathered
in honor of the anniversary

1393
01:21:39,877 --> 01:21:40,969
of the Boston Tea Party.

1394
01:21:41,111 --> 01:21:43,944
Or I could do my good story
on weathervanes.

1395
01:21:44,081 --> 01:21:45,210
No!

1396
01:21:46,583 --> 01:21:49,279
Okay, so, great job, everyone.

1397
01:21:49,420 --> 01:21:53,584
Excuse me, excuse me.
Just one-one moment, please.

1398
01:21:58,595 --> 01:22:00,927
I have a story
I'd like to do.

1399
01:22:03,167 --> 01:22:04,429
Sauerkraut.

1400
01:22:08,413 --> 01:22:09,433
Sauerkraut?

1401
01:22:10,607 --> 01:22:16,102
Big annual Sauerkraut Festival
upstate.

1402
01:22:16,814 --> 01:22:20,409
They, uh, bowl with cabbage,

1403
01:22:20,551 --> 01:22:22,109
make a big sauerkraut cake.

1404
01:22:22,252 --> 01:22:26,814
They, uh, have a competition
for the best sauerkraut.

1405
01:22:27,658 --> 01:22:30,126
You want to do that?

1406
01:22:30,260 --> 01:22:32,956
What? Do you have
a problem with that?

1407
01:22:34,170 --> 01:22:36,860
Uhh... No.

1408
01:22:37,001 --> 01:22:40,334
It's okay?
I'm-I'm doing the kraut? Right?

1409
01:22:40,471 --> 01:22:44,448
- I-i-if you, if you want to.
- Good. Good.

1410
01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:51,571
Oh! Hi!

1411
01:22:56,554 --> 01:22:58,488
- Hi!
- Don't really have to go, you know.

1412
01:22:58,641 --> 01:23:00,420
I want to. Oh, my goodness.
I wouldn't miss this for...

1413
01:23:00,558 --> 01:23:02,150
- Get in.
- All right.

1414
01:23:04,029 --> 01:23:05,941
Say hello to Joe.

1415
01:23:06,331 --> 01:23:09,129
- Joe, Becky. Becky, Joe. Go.
- Hi, Joe.

1416
01:23:09,868 --> 01:23:13,770
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This isn't the way. No, no.

1417
01:23:13,905 --> 01:23:17,238
- Mike, where are we going?
- To cover the news.

1418
01:23:17,375 --> 01:23:19,070
- What?
- At 8 a.m. this morning,

1419
01:23:19,210 --> 01:23:20,905
- I'm going to cover a story.
- Mike.

1420
01:23:21,046 --> 01:23:24,482
- A real story.
- Are you kidding me?

1421
01:23:24,616 --> 01:23:26,243
- Where are you?
- I don't know.

1422
01:23:26,384 --> 01:23:29,444
- What do you mean you don't know?
- Well, he won't tell me.

1423
01:23:29,587 --> 01:23:32,317
He's kidnapped me.
He's gone around some kind of bend

1424
01:23:32,457 --> 01:23:35,187
and I need you to get Colleen ready
with a backup story, please!

1425
01:23:35,326 --> 01:23:38,295
- What backup story?
- Let Ernie do the weathervane thing.

1426
01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:40,455
- No, no, no, no. Jesus.
- I need something

1427
01:23:40,598 --> 01:23:42,361
<i>when Mike's story tanks.</i>

1428
01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:45,236
You know,
you're a terrible person!

1429
01:23:45,370 --> 01:23:49,067
You baited me with sauerkraut.
That's so low.

1430
01:23:49,207 --> 01:23:51,368
I mean, what the hell
is this story, Mike?!

1431
01:23:51,509 --> 01:23:53,943
- The governor.
- What governor?

1432
01:23:54,079 --> 01:23:56,604
We're not even
anywhere near Albany.

1433
01:23:56,748 --> 01:24:00,081
No, we're not.
It's up here a little further, Joe.

1434
01:24:00,218 --> 01:24:02,153
- A little further.
- Oh, my God,

1435
01:24:02,288 --> 01:24:04,586
this is the governor's country house.
Are you out of your mind?

1436
01:24:04,723 --> 01:24:08,215
You're experiencing
a psychotic break. Are you insane?

1437
01:24:09,228 --> 01:24:13,631
Well, I-I won't be dragged down with you.
You're gonna get us arrested and fired.

1438
01:24:13,766 --> 01:24:16,792
I get fired, I never work again,
you lunatic.

1439
01:24:16,936 --> 01:24:19,234
I'm not gonna run it, Mike.
I won't, you can't make me.

1440
01:24:19,371 --> 01:24:22,829
I'll run Colleen getting her bikini
line waxed before I run it. Mike!

1441
01:24:22,975 --> 01:24:24,875
They're gonna
cancel the show!

1442
01:24:30,282 --> 01:24:32,944
If we don't get our numbers up
by the end of this week, we're toast.

1443
01:24:33,085 --> 01:24:36,953
We're gonna be replaced
by soap operas and... game shows.

1444
01:24:40,659 --> 01:24:42,183
Come on, Joe.

1445
01:24:45,698 --> 01:24:47,495
- Lenny, are you ready?
- Ready?

1446
01:24:47,633 --> 01:24:50,033
- Ready? Ready for what?
- Jesus.

1447
01:24:53,906 --> 01:24:55,373
- Check, check.
- Hey.

1448
01:24:55,508 --> 01:24:57,442
You'll know when to go live.
Get out of my shot.

1449
01:24:57,576 --> 01:24:59,168
Go live with what?

1450
01:25:00,746 --> 01:25:02,475
Pomeroy!

1451
01:25:02,615 --> 01:25:05,015
- Gary, how are ya?
- What the hell are you doin'here?

1452
01:25:05,151 --> 01:25:06,618
I need the weathervanes,
Lenny.

1453
01:25:06,752 --> 01:25:08,982
- I need 'em, need...
- So, we're goin' with weathervanes.

1454
01:25:09,121 --> 01:25:10,110
- Yes.
- Specifically,

1455
01:25:10,256 --> 01:25:13,715
we'd like to know how you feel about
the Attorney General's filing

1456
01:25:13,860 --> 01:25:16,055
racketeering charges
against you this morning.

1457
01:25:16,196 --> 01:25:18,323
- Charges of corruption...
- No, wait, wait.

1458
01:25:18,465 --> 01:25:21,332
- ...and steering government contracts.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1459
01:25:21,468 --> 01:25:23,868
- We cannot wait!
- Hold your horses.

1460
01:25:24,004 --> 01:25:27,701
And there's a hooker or two...
in there as well, isn't there, sir?

1461
01:25:27,841 --> 01:25:29,240
- Oh, my God.
- Becky!

1462
01:25:29,376 --> 01:25:30,934
- What is going on here?
- Comin' through!

1463
01:25:31,077 --> 01:25:33,739
Mike, I don't know where you get
your information. You know I like you.

1464
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:35,575
- Stand by to go live.
- What?

1465
01:25:35,715 --> 01:25:39,378
...but if you don't leave,
I'm gonna have to call the police.

1466
01:25:39,519 --> 01:25:41,384
- Wait, wait one second.
- I don't think that's gonna

1467
01:25:41,521 --> 01:25:43,079
be necessary, sir.

1468
01:25:43,823 --> 01:25:44,862
Becky!

1469
01:25:48,681 --> 01:25:49,722
Live! Live!

1470
01:25:49,863 --> 01:25:50,989
Live to Becky, now!

1471
01:25:54,034 --> 01:25:55,695
- Up on rem two!
- Now taking you live

1472
01:25:55,835 --> 01:25:57,735
<i>to Mike Pomeroy
for a special report.</i>

1473
01:25:58,505 --> 01:26:01,864
Federal authorities have been
planning this raid for weeks.

1474
01:26:02,008 --> 01:26:05,842
This reporter has learned that
the indictment contains 15 counts

1475
01:26:05,979 --> 01:26:09,574
of racketeering
and using undue influence.

1476
01:26:09,716 --> 01:26:13,743
My sources tell me authorities
have tapped phone calls,

1477
01:26:13,887 --> 01:26:16,082
<i>and incriminating e-mails.</i>

1478
01:26:18,625 --> 01:26:21,116
Mike Pomeroy, "Daybreak".

1479
01:26:22,662 --> 01:26:24,653
Back to you
in the studio.

1480
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:27,865
- Take two.
- Thanks, Mike.

1481
01:26:28,002 --> 01:26:30,266
<i>Partly cloudy skies this afternoon
with slight chance...</i>

1482
01:26:30,404 --> 01:26:33,430
You know, you could have told me.
I might have covered it anyway.

1483
01:26:33,574 --> 01:26:34,563
Liar.

1484
01:26:38,913 --> 01:26:40,424
Look, I get it.

1485
01:26:41,916 --> 01:26:45,181
Nobody really cares that
I can do this job, but, uh...

1486
01:26:48,589 --> 01:26:50,523
But I can.

1487
01:26:52,059 --> 01:26:54,220
I wanted you to see that.

1488
01:26:55,529 --> 01:26:57,224
That was a great story, Mike.

1489
01:26:57,365 --> 01:26:59,663
That was...
that was better than a great story,

1490
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:05,204
that was great television. I mean,
that was... bran with a doughnut.

1491
01:27:05,339 --> 01:27:07,204
A bran doughnut.

1492
01:27:10,811 --> 01:27:15,019
I've got a grandkid.
Did you know that?

1493
01:27:16,517 --> 01:27:18,212
Alexander.

1494
01:27:19,420 --> 01:27:22,267
I haven't seen him
since I got fired.

1495
01:27:22,823 --> 01:27:26,691
I was embarrassed...
after all I'd accomplished.

1496
01:27:27,698 --> 01:27:29,853
And then to...

1497
01:27:30,965 --> 01:27:35,425
come back to the news...
this way.

1498
01:27:38,774 --> 01:27:40,573
The truth is, I'd...

1499
01:27:41,109 --> 01:27:45,953
I'd screwed up with my kids...
way before I got canned.

1500
01:27:47,683 --> 01:27:51,414
Anyway, I... I was never
at home and...

1501
01:27:52,487 --> 01:27:55,183
when I was,
I took every phone call,

1502
01:27:55,276 --> 01:27:58,145
watching TV
out of the corner of my eye...

1503
01:28:00,262 --> 01:28:05,290
Why am I telling you this?
You're worse than I am.

1504
01:28:05,607 --> 01:28:08,369
You'd sleep at the office
if you could.

1505
01:28:13,141 --> 01:28:15,769
Let me tell you
how it turns out.

1506
01:28:17,112 --> 01:28:20,137
You end up with...
with nothing.

1507
01:28:21,216 --> 01:28:22,808
Nothing.

1508
01:28:26,464 --> 01:28:30,147
Which is...
which is what I had...

1509
01:28:30,959 --> 01:28:33,086
till you came along.

1510
01:28:40,435 --> 01:28:42,154
Wait a second.

1511
01:28:42,804 --> 01:28:45,602
Did you just say
something nice to me?

1512
01:28:47,109 --> 01:28:49,634
I told you
I could banter.

1513
01:28:52,382 --> 01:28:54,850
Felt like getting
a jump on it.

1514
01:29:23,209 --> 01:29:27,373
They're not... awful.

1515
01:29:28,618 --> 01:29:30,142
How much longer can we get?

1516
01:29:30,286 --> 01:29:33,380
Well, I have to check
with upstairs, but, uh...

1517
01:29:33,537 --> 01:29:38,145
with these I can get you a year,
a comfortable year.

1518
01:29:38,795 --> 01:29:40,422
I underestimated you, Becky.

1519
01:29:41,867 --> 01:29:44,659
Oh, that's...
that's very, very true.

1520
01:29:45,568 --> 01:29:47,229
NBC called.

1521
01:29:49,098 --> 01:29:50,336
NBC?

1522
01:29:51,184 --> 01:29:53,669
Wanted to know how much time
you have on your contract.

1523
01:29:58,100 --> 01:30:00,107
The "Today Show" wants you.

1524
01:30:05,989 --> 01:30:09,015
Well, that's very flattering. I...

1525
01:30:12,796 --> 01:30:14,559
Is that what you want?

1526
01:30:45,562 --> 01:30:47,972
They were gonna
cancel the show.

1527
01:30:48,799 --> 01:30:50,562
- Okay.
- Yeah.

1528
01:30:51,351 --> 01:30:53,761
And somehow, we saved it.

1529
01:30:54,145 --> 01:30:57,135
And, you know, the thing is...
is that the second I knew

1530
01:30:57,274 --> 01:31:02,007
that everything was gonna be okay,
the person that I wanted to tell was you.

1531
01:31:04,281 --> 01:31:07,614
The "Today Show"?
That's huge.

1532
01:31:07,751 --> 01:31:11,312
Yeah, yeah,
it's-it's-it's incredible.

1533
01:31:12,322 --> 01:31:14,848
But I-I have to think
about it. I...

1534
01:31:14,993 --> 01:31:17,427
- What?
- Oh, yeah, I mean, I...

1535
01:31:17,562 --> 01:31:21,658
Well, the thing is-is that, at "Daybreak",
everyone's really starting to click.

1536
01:31:21,799 --> 01:31:24,199
You know? Everybody's pitching in
and doing what they're best at.

1537
01:31:24,335 --> 01:31:25,927
- No story too high or low.
- No, hold on,

1538
01:31:26,070 --> 01:31:29,335
you can't say no to this.
When you get an opportunity like this,

1539
01:31:29,474 --> 01:31:32,443
- you have to grab it.
- Even Mike is almost happy.

1540
01:31:32,577 --> 01:31:35,740
And that's a good enough reason to
give up the best job in broadcasting?

1541
01:31:36,359 --> 01:31:37,579
We're...

1542
01:31:38,783 --> 01:31:42,446
"Daybreak" is a... family now.

1543
01:31:43,421 --> 01:31:46,720
Becky, I've known Mike
a long time.

1544
01:31:46,858 --> 01:31:48,849
I... It doesn't matter how happy he is.

1545
01:31:48,993 --> 01:31:51,928
He's not just gonna suddenly
change into a different person.

1546
01:31:52,063 --> 01:31:54,005
Well,
I think you're wrong.

1547
01:31:54,832 --> 01:31:57,357
I know what
I'm doing with him now.

1548
01:31:57,502 --> 01:32:00,938
I do. I do.

1549
01:32:01,906 --> 01:32:03,999
It's gonna be great.

1550
01:32:05,810 --> 01:32:08,836
So, we've got the Supreme Court
Justice hearings at the top of the hour

1551
01:32:08,980 --> 01:32:11,471
and then, uh... Ooh! I forgot
to tell you, Anthony Bourdain

1552
01:32:11,616 --> 01:32:16,053
- wants to do a segment with you!
- Bourdain? Love 'im. Not doin' that.

1553
01:32:16,187 --> 01:32:19,486
But say hi to Tony.
I owe him a bottle of Patron.

1554
01:32:20,148 --> 01:32:23,756
- Um... what...?
- What? We do one good story together

1555
01:32:23,895 --> 01:32:27,674
and suddenly I'm your bitch?
Don't think so. Sorry.

1556
01:32:28,067 --> 01:32:32,452
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
You can't do one story for me?

1557
01:32:32,738 --> 01:32:34,433
Oh, my God,
what is wrong with me?

1558
01:32:34,573 --> 01:32:36,905
What am I doing here,
beating my head against this wall?

1559
01:32:37,042 --> 01:32:39,533
I might as well go to the "Today Show"
where you don't have to poke

1560
01:32:39,678 --> 01:32:41,942
- ... Matt Lauer with a stick...
- The "Today Show"?

1561
01:32:42,081 --> 01:32:44,174
- Yes, they offered me a job.
- Of course.

1562
01:32:44,316 --> 01:32:46,807
- But you know what? I said...
- Time to move on.

1563
01:32:46,952 --> 01:32:48,249
You'll love the "Today Show".

1564
01:32:48,387 --> 01:32:51,550
You and Vieira can do
menopause stories every week!

1565
01:32:51,690 --> 01:32:55,490
You know what's really ridiculous?
Is that until about ten seconds ago,

1566
01:32:55,628 --> 01:32:59,029
I'd actually considered turning my back
on the best job I've ever been offered.

1567
01:32:59,164 --> 01:33:01,029
Isn't that totally absurd?

1568
01:33:02,868 --> 01:33:04,699
What's keeping you?

1569
01:33:05,938 --> 01:33:07,470
Okay.

1570
01:33:07,706 --> 01:33:12,040
You know, if you'd ever treated me
with some kind of friendship or loyalty,

1571
01:33:12,177 --> 01:33:15,669
or.. or trust, these things
that you seem incapable of...

1572
01:33:15,814 --> 01:33:20,157
you miserable, lonely, egotistical,
selfish asshole!

1573
01:33:43,677 --> 01:33:45,406
- Hey, Becky.
- Hi.

1574
01:33:45,545 --> 01:33:48,673
They called again. "Today Show".

1575
01:33:50,016 --> 01:33:51,574
Thanks.

1576
01:34:52,747 --> 01:34:54,408
Becky Fuller.

1577
01:34:54,548 --> 01:34:57,881
Obviously, we have a long
track record of success here

1578
01:34:58,018 --> 01:35:02,387
at the "Today Show", but, uh,
we're always looking to stay current,

1579
01:35:02,523 --> 01:35:06,323
to get out of our comfort zone,
and, um, we want the show

1580
01:35:06,460 --> 01:35:10,157
to have that... youthful energy.
And we are so impressed

1581
01:35:10,297 --> 01:35:12,595
with what you have done
with "Daybreak".

1582
01:35:13,167 --> 01:35:16,625
Oh, well, thank you...
very much. I-I appreciate it.

1583
01:35:17,471 --> 01:35:19,769
Everyone is talking about it.
You must know that.

1584
01:35:19,907 --> 01:35:23,070
I mean, you have done an amazing job
of revitalizing a show

1585
01:35:23,210 --> 01:35:26,008
that many people
had just completely written off.

1586
01:35:26,147 --> 01:35:28,342
Well, thank you.
Thanks.

1587
01:35:28,482 --> 01:35:30,109
And we're out!

1588
01:35:32,019 --> 01:35:35,584
You did this.
They're gonna hire her.

1589
01:35:35,890 --> 01:35:39,087
Yeah. She's at the "Today Show"
right now, ding dong.

1590
01:35:39,226 --> 01:35:43,322
Do-do you have any idea,
you know, what you've done here?

1591
01:35:43,464 --> 01:35:47,730
Because we had a decent producer,
a decent show and,

1592
01:35:47,868 --> 01:35:49,802
God forbid, anyone around here
should be happy,

1593
01:35:49,937 --> 01:35:53,270
but... you had to have this happen,
didn't you?

1594
01:35:53,407 --> 01:35:54,533
All right, stand by, folks.
Here we go.

1595
01:35:54,675 --> 01:35:56,734
Three, two, one.

1596
01:35:56,877 --> 01:36:00,836
And dissolve two.
And cue 'em! Cue 'em!

1597
01:36:00,981 --> 01:36:03,974
<i>- Welcome back to "Daybreak".
- Oh-ho, what-what is wrong?</i>

1598
01:36:04,119 --> 01:36:05,711
<i>... a look at the nation's
crumbling infrastructure.</i>

1599
01:36:05,854 --> 01:36:07,185
Go to Colleen.
Jesus, jump off Mike.

1600
01:36:07,322 --> 01:36:08,812
- Where the hell is he going?
- Take three, three.

1601
01:36:09,658 --> 01:36:13,594
Cue over to three. Swing her to three,
please. Come on, Jane, over to three.

1602
01:36:13,728 --> 01:36:16,424
Sorry, the... this segment's
usually a two shot

1603
01:36:16,565 --> 01:36:19,466
of Mike and Colleen
and Mike's not there.

1604
01:36:20,836 --> 01:36:23,896
They've probably just
changed something. Sorry.

1605
01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:26,938
I don't know.
Where is Mike?

1606
01:36:28,510 --> 01:36:30,478
- I need eggs.
- You need what?

1607
01:36:30,612 --> 01:36:33,012
You know,
from chickens. Eggs!

1608
01:36:35,116 --> 01:36:37,727
Really
don't enjoy this job.

1609
01:36:37,986 --> 01:36:40,464
Chinese people,
move, move, move!

1610
01:36:41,156 --> 01:36:42,682
Thank you!

1611
01:36:44,208 --> 01:36:47,988
Celery. Peppers. Cheese. Cheese.

1612
01:36:51,867 --> 01:36:53,612
Yeah, thank you very much.

1613
01:36:54,502 --> 01:36:57,096
We, uh, wanted to know what
your plans are for sports coverage.

1614
01:36:57,239 --> 01:37:00,140
Oh, sports. Great, okay.
Uh, great.

1615
01:37:00,275 --> 01:37:02,666
I... love sports.

1616
01:37:03,879 --> 01:37:06,113
Come on, move, move!
Let's go, let's go!

1617
01:37:06,248 --> 01:37:08,773
- Get it in there, slide it in!
- Mike, tell us what you need.

1618
01:37:08,917 --> 01:37:13,945
I need a cutting board, good knife,
nice plate, bowl, whisk.

1619
01:37:14,089 --> 01:37:16,684
What is this, rubber?
Get me a real bowl.

1620
01:37:16,826 --> 01:37:18,418
- Where are my eggs?!
- Cue over to three.

1621
01:37:18,561 --> 01:37:21,530
- Where are my goddamn eggs?!
- Eggs for Mike, please!

1622
01:37:21,664 --> 01:37:24,861
In respect to sports, I think that
it's really important to reach out

1623
01:37:25,001 --> 01:37:27,663
to women through their kids because,
you know, it's not that big of a step

1624
01:37:27,803 --> 01:37:31,330
to go from being a soccer mom
to, you know, a...

1625
01:37:32,475 --> 01:37:34,033
Oh, my God.
What is he doing?

1626
01:37:38,080 --> 01:37:39,570
Sorry, I just...

1627
01:37:39,715 --> 01:37:43,811
This is... Mike Pomeroy is having
a nervous breakdown... on air.

1628
01:37:43,953 --> 01:37:45,284
That's kind of big news.

1629
01:37:45,421 --> 01:37:47,787
<i>... a meal for their
afternoon repast,</i>

1630
01:37:47,924 --> 01:37:51,451
<i>something they could make
using whatever ingredients</i>

1631
01:37:51,594 --> 01:37:54,461
<i>- they had available.
- Holy shit.</i>

1632
01:37:54,597 --> 01:37:59,432
I've been making frittata
for about... 20 years now,

1633
01:37:59,568 --> 01:38:02,503
ever since
I was taught how to,

1634
01:38:02,638 --> 01:38:05,732
on a naked weekend
with a beautiful Italian movie star,

1635
01:38:05,875 --> 01:38:09,174
who shall, of course,
remain... nameless.

1636
01:38:09,312 --> 01:38:12,543
Occasionally,
I make them at home.

1637
01:38:13,416 --> 01:38:15,925
But only for people
that I...

1638
01:38:16,752 --> 01:38:18,344
People I really care about.

1639
01:38:20,222 --> 01:38:23,623
Now the key
to a great frittata

1640
01:38:23,759 --> 01:38:26,125
is a very hot pan,

1641
01:38:26,263 --> 01:38:28,042
because that, my friends,

1642
01:38:29,967 --> 01:38:34,267
is what makes it... fluffy.

1643
01:38:36,340 --> 01:38:38,672
<i>We'll let this firm up
a little bit.</i>

1644
01:38:42,679 --> 01:38:45,204
- Dash of pepper.
- I'm sorry. I, uh...

1645
01:38:47,284 --> 01:38:48,649
You watchin' this?

1646
01:38:51,521 --> 01:38:55,685
- Becky?
- Yes, I... yeah.

1647
01:38:55,826 --> 01:38:57,726
He is not
gonna ask you twice.

1648
01:38:57,861 --> 01:39:00,853
<i>We'll give it a few seconds,
then we'll pop it in the hot oven.</i>

1649
01:39:02,299 --> 01:39:03,891
Bye! Thanks!

1650
01:39:12,442 --> 01:39:13,966
A little pepper.

1651
01:39:24,688 --> 01:39:27,316
Stand by. He's goin' back
to the oven. Ready three.

1652
01:39:35,999 --> 01:39:39,458
A lot of people like
a glass of di Gavi.

1653
01:39:39,604 --> 01:39:41,595
Gavi di Gavi, perhaps.

1654
01:39:41,739 --> 01:39:45,197
I, myself, like a... Barolo.

1655
01:39:53,951 --> 01:39:56,146
I'll just free up the edges.

1656
01:40:20,111 --> 01:40:23,012
Next week on the show,
I'll show you how to make

1657
01:40:23,147 --> 01:40:25,707
a fantastic beignet,

1658
01:40:25,850 --> 01:40:28,045
which the rabble like to call...

1659
01:40:30,288 --> 01:40:31,277
doughnuts.

1660
01:40:36,461 --> 01:40:38,554
The old bastard.

1661
01:40:40,965 --> 01:40:44,924
You know, he's still the
third worst person in the world.

1662
01:40:47,238 --> 01:40:49,172
Yeah, I know.

1663
01:40:52,978 --> 01:40:54,411
That's good.

1664
01:40:57,416 --> 01:40:59,748
That's really good.

1665
01:40:59,885 --> 01:41:02,820
I want a tropical fruit plate.

1666
01:42:04,017 --> 01:42:07,680
"His gravity leavens
the silliness of morning TV,

1667
01:42:07,820 --> 01:42:12,018
making for an incongruous
but somehow perfect match.

1668
01:42:12,158 --> 01:42:14,683
Turns out that after 40 years
in the business,

1669
01:42:14,827 --> 01:42:17,990
the real Mike Pomeroy
has finally arrived."

1670
01:42:18,131 --> 01:42:19,223
Not bad.

1671
01:42:19,365 --> 01:42:22,493
By the way, I'm getting
my prostate checked next week.

1672
01:42:22,635 --> 01:42:24,626
I thought
I'd take a crew with me.

1673
01:42:24,771 --> 01:42:27,467
- That's a great idea. We...
- Jesus, I'm kidding.

1674
01:42:27,607 --> 01:42:30,906
No, seriously, they-they have
these little teeny, tiny cameras

1675
01:42:31,044 --> 01:42:32,841
- that go right up your...
- No, no, no.

1676
01:42:32,979 --> 01:42:34,970
What if we got you
a body double?

1677
01:42:36,950 --> 01:42:38,349
- No!
- No?

1678
01:42:38,484 --> 01:42:40,611
Not in a thousand years.