RAF Bomber Squadron 261
is on a night mission over Germany.
Operation Code:
"TEA FOR TWO"
DON'T LOOK NOW... WE'RE BEING SHOT AT!
Well!
It's cold today, isn't it?
Quick!
Your hand!
Give me your hand!
The zoo opens in 3 minutes. Germans everywhere.
You'll be caught. Me too.
Hurry! Your parachute!
Grab your things. Come on.
Climb up!
He's going to make me fall off.
SS Section 121!
Sorry!
I made a mess!
It's a misunderstanding!
Out of the question!
Coming!
Cease fire!
Get them alive! Search the houses!
That's no place to land.
You're hurt.
High, eh?
Thank you, that was fine.
No... Please!
You there! Fine!
You there! So-so!
You! I never hear you!
You're always talking! Be careful!
My concept of this is personal.
It's more triumphant! With more pride!
That was rubbish! It wasn't bad. It was very bad!
Take it from 17!
You're chatting!
Always chatting!
You have the gift of gab!
From 17!
Who did that?
Me, Maestro!
- You think you're where? - At the Opera!
Very funny. Out!
Mephisto, Marguerite, Faust! Out!
I want no one here when I'm working!
Just me and Berlioz!
Quiet up there!
Sorry, Mr. Lefort!
From 17!
More brass! Lightning before the thunder!
Coming, dear?
I'll catch up later.
- Got the bomb? - Here!
The wires! Check outside!
Plug the hole!
Be quiet or Lefort'll get nosy!
Finished?
With flowers and a crown!
- That carnation... - Hands off! It's wired!
You'll ruin it!
Lights!
Everyone stays here! No one can leave!
English parachutist is in Opera!
Helping him means death sentence!
- Achbach! - Stanislas Lefort!
We shoot down English bomber over Paris.
Two pilot prisoners. One pilot in here is hiding.
I regret for stopping music.
Hear that?
Our rehearsal is cut to 12 minutes...
by machineguns!
Tonight will be just fine!
Here's a little stick!
Let me through!
What nerve! Stopping rehearsal!
What's this?
- What? - Don't move!
Are you OK?
I'm French. The Germans! Please!
Open up!
I'm fed up! Fed up!
Open the door!
I'll break it down!
OK! Coming!
Sorry!
House search!
I'm fed up too!
Shut up, old bag! Can't you hear somebody's here?
Please pay no attention. Come in!
You're lucky your wife's far away!
Make yourself useful, soldier! Catch this suitcase!
Put it on the bed! I'm leaving!
Stop making a spectacle of yourself!
I won't live longer with this idiot!
Just you wait till they're gone!
- Nobody on the balcony! - Nothing!
I'm sorry!
There.
They're upstairs! Quick!
If it goes to the 6th, he'll be crushed!
Wait!
Too heavy!
The door's open again!
- I lost it! - What?
My key. I always leave it under the mat but...
Quick!
Never mind!
Augustin Bouvet, house painter.
Bury that!
I'll use it for shirts till the war's over!
Shirts!
Thank you!
Mustache! Dangerous!
Gone! No one in the street!
I'll take him to my place.
Your place?
- Where else? - The Germans'll be there!
At home?
- Got a phone? - Yes, Clignancourt 13-35.
- Wait! - It won't answer!
I'm here!
Mr. Bouvet, please.
Speaking!
He's lying! It's not me!
Without you, they'd have got us!
What a mess!
What do I do now?
- What? - What did he say?
He wants to go to the Turkish baths!
He's to meet his pals at the baths!
Typically English! The Turkish baths!
Wounded and not speaking French! He'll soon be caught.
So I'll go.
I'll get him clothes. We'll meet at Grandpa's.
Where?
I work with him at his puppet theater.
But it's dangerous.
Come in!
Make the birds softer!
Take it again!
- What is it? - Bravo!
This time I don't stop!
Continue!
This time I'm stopping!
Who are you looking for?
Your Englishman? Is it me?
Him?
Come with me!
Come on! Is he there?
- There? - I see he's not.
- There? - Calm down, Maestro!
You stopped my rehearsal,
and now my teaching!
Forgive me.
Forgive? Look! Here?
Here? He's not there. And what's in here?
Allow me?
Black market!
It's for the intermission.
I'm always hungry. My stomach... It's like...
So I have to eat.
You great rascal!
Little rascal!
Excuse me!
And now back to Lesson four!
And don't talk back! No talking!
Just be quiet!
Sit on the stool! We'll get to work!
Turkish baths?
Don't whistle that!
Forbidden here!
I risk a lot!
The Germans will get you!
If you talk, I risk even more!
So I risk both ways!
You always say yes!
Listen!
You leave with him?
For good?
And you... Wait!
In there!
- Shit! How do you say...? - What? Shit?
Excuse me. I overheard you.
You mentioned MacIntosh and Peter, right?
Not at all!
I don't see what you mean!
I'm looking for a friend who's lost in the fog.
Seen him? He has a big mustache.
I'm Big Mustache. I was!
Too dangerous!
Follow me!
His accent's good. We can follow him.
Maestro, are you there?
And now, Maestro...
I'm waiting for you!
To the Opera! Fast!
Coming!
You're crazy!
Stealing German uniforms!
For Operation MacIntosh tonight at the Opera!
It's too dangerous! I don't want to!
Understand?
What am I doing?
The Englishman?
- I'm sick! - Not sick!
It was him!
That's a harp!
The Englishman!
An Englishman here?
Talk! Well?
- You can't explain! - I was quite clear!
I'm in the Wehrmacht, not the Gestapo!
But if you won't talk, I know how to make you talk!
I'll wait till after the gala tonight...
you're directing for our colonel!
Till then, you're my prisoner!
In the name of the law, you're under arrest!
You've no right to arrest me, right, kids?
Punch will save me!
He's not coming.
Help me call Punch!
What a nerve! Dressing up as German officers!
What if a cop stops us?
You talk too much!
- Someone's listening! - She's only 3!
But she's staring at me!
Two Germans in the back!
Augustin!
Luckily General Augustin...
will save me!
Help me call him! Augustin!
What an honor! Two English aviators
and a French hero!
My granddaughter told me about you!
You told your family about me?
She's been wonderful!
I'm not surprised.
My humble theater is merely a haven,
but Juliet and I can help you get out of Paris.
From the Free Zone,
we can get to England!
But I'm not going to go to England!
Go! You'll be safe there.
Here's Beautiful France!
Tomorrow at 8:05, the Lyons Station!
Take the Burgundy train.
Get off at Meursault
and go to the Globe Hotel.
No need to take notes! My granddaughter's going with you.
You're coming?
On with the adventure!
- Exciting, eh? - In a way... yes.
Thank you very much!
But tonight I must get MacIntosh at the Opera.
The Opera!
You'll come with me?
Well...
Alright, I'll go.
It won't take long. We go in...
Leave... and get the hell out!
We must find the wings.
Zir, vair har dee vings?
The wings?
End of the hall on the left!
Poor Lefort!
Do we call it off?
Too late!
Too bad for Lefort! Go!
Thank you!
In 30 seconds...
5... 4... 3...
Zero!
Shit! A dud!
It wasn't me!
It's the intermission!
Intermission!
It's not me!
But it's me!
Then it's me!
- What? - Pretend you're our prisoner!
Left!
Is this the road to hell?
It leads to an underground river
beneath the Opera!
It flows to where?
According to Victor Hugo, nowhere!
God keep you!
You'll catch cold with your billiard ball!
Want my hat?
Shut up and row!
Don't blow your top!
The Germans!
No, the subway!
What?
- Get out this way! - Get out? Right.
Hurry up!
Dressed like this we'll get caught!
- There! - There what?
- Who're you? - We won't hurt you!
Let go of me!
- My wallet! - We'll return it!
- What time is it? - 8:04!
Come on!
Train 121 to Sens, Dijon...
Chalons and Lyons, now leaving!
Please close all the doors...
Was that the train to Chalons?
When's the next one?
No idea! Ask Information!
A road-block! Looks like trouble.
Postal Service!
Don't tire yourselves! No gas!
- Push the car over there. - Push?
- Hide it. - Oh, hide it.
So push!
Push it!
- Don't speak to me that way! - Very well.
- Will you push, Maestro? - That's better!
Slow down!
Not so fast!
Stop!
Now we'll share our ration tickets.
French tickets!
Made in London!
Eat!
French money!
Not made in London!
For you! The rest for us!
He always calls me Augustine!
I don't have any. Hey, I don't have any!
Just a second!
I'm short one!
- Think so? - Yes.
Wait for me!
Hurry up!
My feet are swollen!
Swollen feet!
Those guys!
Leave me alone!
My foot's huge!
Come on! On your feet...
Stanislas!
Don't get so familiar!
Don't try to direct me!
My friend, we're from different worlds.
So we'll always be different.
Give me your hand!
What a braggart!
Be careful! Be very careful!
- OK... - Wait for me!
We'll be back!
Look! They're leaving! They're deserting us!
I never thought they'd do that!
What'll we do?
Don't worry. We'll walk!
We'll get by!
Put your shoes back on.
- Lean on me. - No, I'm OK.
That's how the English are!
But they were rather nice.
Nice!
Did you have an English nanny?
Thief!
- Aviators! - Stop!
Your shoes are not for walking!
OK, I'll accept your offer.
- What? - To loan me yours!
What's your size?
- Same as you! - That's just as well.
That's better!
- But wait for me! - Come on!
- Let me get used to them! - Come on!
- The Germans! - Of course not.
Get the hell out of here!
Well I never!
You've got good reflexes!
Thank you.
- Please... - Thanks!
Come on!
- But the English! - What?
They'll get caught!
True.
They should've stayed with us!
Let's go!
Wait!
Take your shoes back. I may stretch them.
You're ruining them!
Are my shoes OK?
- A bit large. - Sorry!
- Coming? - Really!
Let's go!
I'm glad we're together!
But who'd you steal this from?
- Me! Good morning! - Hello, Sister!
Hurry! I'm due in Beaune!
Get in!
Thank you, Sister!
Salt, please!
Thank you!
Pepper too!
France!
Star of the sea!
Here is the heavy sheet...
the deep surge and the ocean of wheat!
Charles Péguy.
A fine poet, right?
See? I speak your language.
What?
Wonderful!
We searched the whole train.
No other Englishmen!
There was no one with him. He was alone.
Good. Search the entire area!
Yes, Major!
Take him to the closest headquarters!
Where?
Meursault...
I'll be there!
Wouldn't it be wiser to turn around?
We can't go back now!
- What? - Throw pumpkins!
My head's not a pumpkin!
Don't push me, I'll fall out of the truck!
Keep right! This isn't England!
Another pumpkin!
No more ammo!
That makes three!
Meursault!
So I see!
Now we have to find the Globe Hotel. You can't see that.
Stop being a pain! Push me!
No, the seat!
Remember to use your brakes or you'll slide backwards.
What a noise you're making!
My chain slipped off!
I'll fix it! You're so clumsy!
Watch it!
To go faster, you take mine...
and I'll take yours!
Listen!
You've pulled that twice!
First my shoes, now my bike!
But that's normal!
Excuse me!
Why is it normal?
It's normal because...
Because I'm a laborer?
Exactly!
But it's not your fault!
I'm sick of travelling with a guy like you!
I'm leaving!
Deserting me?
You wanted an excuse and you found one! Egoist!
- It's your fault! - Mine?
Doing jobs for the English!
We should've stayed with them and the nuns!
They couldn't try to find Peter!
You don't care about finding Peter!
You want to find that puppet girl!
Oh, please!
The puppet girl!
Don't you dare touch her!
I'm fed up! Go by yourself!
You won't see me again!
That's fine!
Quick! Come on!
Thank you!
Quiet!
That's enough!
Nobody!
Got a match?
I've got nothing!
Is this when you come home? We've waited for hours!
And drunk again!
Forgive my husband!
Mine too, General!
In the kitchen!
Dirty dishes are waiting!
Come here, you scoundrels!
My birthday! Champagne for these men!
Wives never order! Men wear pants!
Even when pants too big!
Cheers!
To your health!
Here we are! Room 6!
But you'll have to share the bed.
- Impossible! - Yes!
In the same bed?
- We're at war! - Leave me in peace!
One of war's horrors!
Give me peace!
May I? Move!
- Help me, Augustin. - Gladly!
We worried about you.
They're searching the entire area.
Because of Peter's arrest.
Peter? That's awful!
What'll happen to us?
Tomorrow at dawn,
I'll lead you to the Free Zone.
You'll find your English friends.
What's that?
Curfew!
They cut the electricity.
- Who's that? - It's outside!
Don't move!
A room requisitioned by Paris!
Coming!
Maybe it's us!
No, it's a requisitioned room.
'Night! Get some rest!
You'll sleep well. I'm a stickler on beds!
I'll wake you at 5. Coming, Juliet?
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Please come in.
Goodnight, Juliet.
You know...
I'm glad to be here.
That's sweet, Augustin.
Get inside!
The hotel is full.
I have only one room with a large bed.
- There's a war on! - Yes.
You have a wash-stand,
but there's a shower in the hall.
Thank you!
You'll sleep well.
I'm a stickler on beds.
- Stickler? - Yes, about beds.
- May I? - Sorry!
Gentlemen!
Come on!
I'll never...
Don't be so fussy!
Little Stanislas'll be fine!
Now listen!
Pull that up...
Sorry!
- Married? - No.
Me neither but I soon will be...
because Juliet...
War has its good aspects!
I'd like to ask you...
How am I physically?
It's late. We need to sleep.
Goodnight!
I forgot.
I snore but if you whistle, I'll stop.
Whistle all night?
Are you mad?
- Intermission! - Intermission?
Intermission time so I get hungry. My stomach... Starved! I have to eat!
You're crazy!
Eat in the morning!
Germans are all over!
I'm the boss-lady's husband!
Close the door!
And I'm Juliet's husband?
Get me something to eat!
During the war,
a house painter...
quite charming...
met a ravishing blonde.
To save his life, she said he was her husband.
Today the war's over.
Victory!
So naturally...
they kiss, eh?
Augustin!
Yes, it's no good.
But the war's not over!
We should wait for victory?
You should really get some sleep!
- Who is it? - Sorry!
Who are you?
Boss-lady's husband... Maitre d'...
Boss?
No, not the boss. The boss-lady...
Boss-lady...
Eat?
Finished! Nothing left!
I forgot! Edible!
Edible...
German officer?
It's a German officer?
Cannibal!
Thank you for the snack for my officer!
Little liar!
How nice!
Thank you, Stanislas!
How are you today?
So give me a smile!
Continue the treatment for two days...
then diminish it slowly.
You're fine here. So?
Don't look grim! Better to be sick here
than healthy outside!
Next!
Well! A new patient!
What's wrong, my son?
He looks bad. Sit up!
Stick out your tongue.
Your tongue!
White tongue, yellow eyes, red nose. It's the liver!
That hurts? It's his liver!
You like good food!
That's very bad!
Sit up!
Say 33!
33!
Well?
Yes, yes...
He's one of two new emergencies.
This one and the one next door.
They need a change of air at once!
I'll see to it, doctor.
But you better take care of that liver!
Juliet, wake up! Make the coffee!
Coming!
Wake up!
Sorry! I have the wrong room!
Wake up! It's five o'clock!
Sorry! Wrong room!
Five o'clock! Are you crazy?
No noise! Major tired! Sleep!
What are you doing here?
Here, Cleo!
Come on!
I'm OK... But you!
Your helmet!
Yours!
Your insignia!
Your guns!
Careful! They're loaded!
Juliet, open up!
They'll lead you like homing pigeons.
They won't bite!
You'll be a patrol squad.
Suppose we meet a real one?
You'll be on patrol!
Come on!
Don't let them go. Without them, you'll be lost!
Bye, Juliet!
Going back to Paris?
Back to the theater!
- No more General Augustin? - No.
But he'll come see me afterwards!
I meant to tell you...
- There's a wall. What shall we do? - I don't know.
And they don't know!
Hang on! I'll climb over the wall!
They'll bite me!
Not from the other side!
Don't move!
What're you doing?
There!
Climb over!
Hey, I'm down here!
Help me down!
I have the dogs!
Come closer!
Closer!
Stop!
Why stop them?
- To get you off! - But we're fine!
You think I'm going to cart you around on my back?
Don't waste time talking! Go!
That's the 3rd time! My shoes! My bike...
- Now what? - To the left!
- You think so? - Yes!
Alright!
You're heavy for your size!
Wait for me!
Where's he got to?
Come here!
Stanislas!
Here I am!
You saved my life again. I can't thank you enough.
No more dogs! We're lost!
I can't go on! I'm tired!
We'll get caught!
- Good! - No, come on!
I want to stay here!
Come on!
Leave me alone!
It's a nervous breakdown!
I want to go back to Paris, to my job!
You'll get your job.
- I won't! - You will!
My brushes! My silk brushes! Brand new!
I'll buy you some big flat brushes!
Round ones! You don't know anything!
We'll choose them together.
And my paint?
Three cans from the same store!
If Juliet was here, she'd know!
But I'm here!
It's not the same thing!
You'll see your girl again!
Don't make fun of her!
Or I'll show you!
Sorry! Feel better?
Maybe another one...
Better?
Listen, do you want one?
- No! - Well, even so...
We'll go to Headquarters first.
I give them two barrels of wine
and they give me my Aussweiss.
My pass for the Free Zone.
If they say no?
Never! They love our wine too much!
Right they are!
Then, to the Demarcation Line!
Hide! We're nearly there.
Now they're arresting each other! What a mess!
I'll send for the Englishman!
Hello, how are you?
Hello, Sister!
I have wine for Col. von Schmertz.
Very good! Four barrels!
No, only two!
There and there!
Understand?
No! That one and that one!
- What? - Turn around!
They've caught Augustin and Stanislas! What'll we do?
Are these your two Frenchmen?
They can kill me but I won't talk!
Yes, kill you but I won't talk!
I knew I could count on you.
- We must get out! - We can't!
I have an idea!
You know Wagner! What's "come in" in German?
Herein!
What's got into him?
Mr. Lefort! Mr. Bouvet!
What a surprise!
This way, gentlemen!
The English! We must gain time.
Maestro!
This time I'm conducting and you're going to sing!
12 bullets for you!
24 bullets!
What a waste on men like you!
Who gave you the dogs? And the uniforms?
Who helped you?
Stop trembling!
Commissioner...
Not commissioner! Major Achbach!
Major, I want to gain time...
I won't waste time. I'll talk.
Now you're being reasonable! Well?
I had a meeting Monday Nov. 15th...
That's enough.
Sorry...
A meeting with Major Jean-Pierre who was really Sgt. Henry,
whose true name was Marshall.
- No! - Yes!
That's a mistake, Major Achbach!
It wasn't Monday.
- It was Sunday. - True!
Indeed!
And it wasn't November. It was January.
Right!
And Henry wasn't yet called Marshall.
But I was born in 1914!
That was during WW I.
Four years!
Terrible!
Who's Marshall?
I forget! He coughs, spits and sniffles all the time!
Remember!
Wait.
Victory Square!
In front of Louis XIV's statue!
You saw Louis XIV?
- Impossible! - Why?
The Germans had removed all the statues!
Yes, well...
You're pulling my legs!
I want two English aviators!
- How many? - Two!
That's not much.
You know where they are! Not far away!
Long live Napoleon!
I gave you the wrong barrels!
There are two men down there!
In barrels. They'll be burned!
Take my mask!
Mr. Lefort!
Mr. Bouvet!
French firemen, do your duty!
We're too heavy! Ditch the barrels!
Hurry! We're too slow!
Two half-tracks just arrived!
Send up a reconnaissance plane!
Fine! Thanks! Over and out!
It's that way!
Fugitives spotted!
Route 328, heading south! Over!
Roger! Out!
Watch that!
- It wasn't me. - It was!
Look!
He'll shoot us!
An observation plane!
Don't look! He's spying! Act natural!
You like westerns?
It's padlocked!
Slide the door open!
Gliders!
I knew I'd find them!
But no propellers!
That's the hitch!
I don't understand! Repeat!
Push!
I am! Shift into 2nd, goddam it!
Sorry, Sister! Shift!
There's no gas!
There's enough! Get out!
Push! You're getting on my nerves!
- Where's 2nd? - In the car!
- Where? - Between 1st and 3rd!
- Thanks! Push! - Push it!
Yes, I know! Push!
Let's go, Sister!
I hope it holds!
- What? - Get in!
I can't!
Scared, eh?
But it's made for two and we're three!
Look up!
- I'm going! - Wait! Me first!
It'll be my first flight! I've never been in a plane.
Go easy!
I'm hanging overboard!
They're in the Free Zone!
The wind's bringing them to us!
Not that way!
It's the current!
Be careful!
Machinegun ready!
Give me your hand.
Long live France!
May I, Sister?
Thank you, God.
Subtitles: Jaib Warner
Processed by Eclair Media