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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[upbeat music plays]

4
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♪ Doctor, my eyes
have seen the years ♪

5
00:00:42,039 --> 00:00:45,049
♪ And the slow parade
of fears ♪

6
00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:46,189
♪ Without crying ♪

7
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♪ Now I want to understand ♪

8
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♪ I have done
all that I could ♪

9
00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:58,000
♪ I've seen the evil
and the good ♪

10
00:00:58,020 --> 00:00:59,229
♪ Without hiding ♪

11
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♪ You must help me
if you can ♪

12
00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:08,180
♪ Doctor, my eyes ♪

13
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,180
♪ Tell me what is wrong ♪

14
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,210
♪ Was I unwise ♪

15
00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:18,099
♪ To leave them open
for so long? ♪

16
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♪ 'Cause I have wandered
through this world ♪

17
00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:32,159
♪ As each moment has unfurled ♪

18
00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,039
♪ I've been waiting ♪

19
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:38,229
♪ To awaken
from these dreams ♪

20
00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:42,039
♪ People go
just where they will ♪

21
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:45,109
♪ I never noticed them
until... ♪

22
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Hey. You don't know me.

23
00:01:49,129 --> 00:01:52,000
I don't know you.

24
00:01:53,109 --> 00:01:55,090
Katie, voice-over:
Twice in my life,

25
00:01:55,109 --> 00:01:59,069
I've had to deliver bad news
to someone I'd never met.

26
00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:00,180
Hey...

27
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,209
The first time
involved a cat

28
00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:07,000
that ran out in the middle
of my driver's test.

29
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:09,080
This time
was a bit trickier.

30
00:02:09,099 --> 00:02:11,039
Hey...

31
00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:13,020
[rings doorbell]

32
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,129
Are you waiting for me
to say something?

33
00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:21,159
No.

34
00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:26,030
I don't know
where to start.

35
00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:29,060
Well, why don't you start
from the beginning?

36
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:31,030
OK. OK. Um...

37
00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:33,129
[telephone rings]

38
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,120
[music playing loudly]

39
00:02:35,139 --> 00:02:37,009
Hello.

40
00:02:38,139 --> 00:02:40,120
What?

41
00:02:40,139 --> 00:02:42,120
Grandma.

42
00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:45,000
Turn that down!

43
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,000
Grandma, what's the matter?

44
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,139
Katie: My grandfather
always told me--

45
00:02:49,159 --> 00:02:51,139
never pick up the phone
on the first ring.

46
00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:52,199
What?

47
00:02:52,219 --> 00:02:54,219
Katie:
And now he was dead.

48
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What? What happened?

49
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I was the first one
my grandmother called.

50
00:02:59,229 --> 00:03:02,000
I waited until
I could see straight

51
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,219
before I broke the news
to my dad.

52
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,050
He's sort of
a famous actor.

53
00:03:06,069 --> 00:03:09,080
You may remember him as
the Spiffy peanut butter kid.

54
00:03:09,099 --> 00:03:12,039
My dad's the one
with the spoon in his mouth.

55
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:13,210
What is it, Son?

56
00:03:13,229 --> 00:03:16,000
Something is stuck
to my tongue.

57
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,129
[laughter]

58
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:21,060
Must be weird to have
your career peak at 8.

59
00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:24,099
Hey, folks.

60
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,120
How many towels can I get
for you today?

61
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,060
How many
have you got?

62
00:03:28,079 --> 00:03:31,110
Katie: Now he works mostly
in obscure foreign films.

63
00:03:31,129 --> 00:03:34,039
All right, but...

64
00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:36,199
only if I can watch.

65
00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:39,069
Man: Keep looking
at them.

66
00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:43,069
That's it. Oh, yeah.
Get turned on.

67
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,069
He's removing her clothes.
He's massaging her breasts.

68
00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:47,039
Let me see that
in your eyes.

69
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:51,000
You're surprised.
Down go her pants. Ah!

70
00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,159
Maybe you're gonna
get caught.

71
00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:54,110
They're not supposed
to be doing that.

72
00:03:54,129 --> 00:03:56,090
[ring]
I'm sorry. That's me.

73
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,210
Hello.
Don't answer that.

74
00:03:57,229 --> 00:03:59,099
Look sexy.

75
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,000
Oh, hey, sweetie.

76
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:02,069
Smoky eyes...

77
00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:04,009
I want to see envy.
You want to be that guy.

78
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:05,050
What?

79
00:04:05,069 --> 00:04:07,050
You want it.

80
00:04:07,069 --> 00:04:08,229
He did?

81
00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:10,110
That's it.
Touch yourself.

82
00:04:10,129 --> 00:04:13,030
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

83
00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:15,159
I'll call them.
I'll call them.

84
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:17,089
Dearest Judge--

85
00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:18,180
Excuse me?

86
00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:20,100
My client...

87
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,110
Name?

88
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,170
Uh...Lace.

89
00:04:23,189 --> 00:04:25,040
Miss Lace...

90
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was engaged
in a consensual servicing

91
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,050
of an entrapable member.

92
00:04:32,069 --> 00:04:34,189
Are you an attorney?

93
00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,149
Touché, Your Highness.

94
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:39,019
[cell phone ringing]

95
00:04:48,129 --> 00:04:50,000
Talk to me.

96
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:51,079
Counselor.

97
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:53,120
What?

98
00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:55,069
Whoa.

99
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:58,090
OK. Now put
the eggs down

100
00:04:58,110 --> 00:05:01,050
without breaking them
and without using your hands.

101
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:06,060
Come on, guys. We're--

102
00:05:06,079 --> 00:05:07,220
What's he doing?

103
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,100
Watch.

104
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:14,009
We don't have time
for this, guys. All right?

105
00:05:14,029 --> 00:05:16,000
No good
can come of this.

106
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,209
Nice. Can we go now?

107
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,079
Do a shoulder stand.

108
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,079
Guys, come on.
We've got this funeral.

109
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,040
Grandpa's not
going anywhere.

110
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,160
Get in the car.

111
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,209
Get the bowl onto the table
without spilling.

112
00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:31,019
[crash]

113
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,069
Oh...

114
00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,060
This is why
your mother left us.

115
00:05:34,079 --> 00:05:35,220
She was a hack.

116
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,139
I've seen better
moms on TV.

117
00:05:37,159 --> 00:05:39,009
I know.

118
00:05:39,029 --> 00:05:40,170
I don't even know
why we're going.

119
00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:42,019
I mean,
he was your dad.

120
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,170
Maybe he left
you something.

121
00:05:43,189 --> 00:05:45,139
Probably left it
all to wifey.

122
00:05:45,159 --> 00:05:46,129
Nana.

123
00:05:46,149 --> 00:05:48,230
I know.

124
00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:50,170
He picked
the perfect time

125
00:05:50,189 --> 00:05:53,040
for this one,
didn't he? Huh?

126
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:55,060
Huh, Burt?

127
00:05:55,079 --> 00:05:58,050
You know it's 2 weeks
before his birthday,

128
00:05:58,069 --> 00:06:00,060
the one day that was
more important to him

129
00:06:00,079 --> 00:06:01,230
than his goddamn job,

130
00:06:02,009 --> 00:06:05,100
and now he's managed
to fuck this up, too.

131
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,050
Sorry.

132
00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:08,129
[sighs]

133
00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:10,139
Nice work, Pop.

134
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,149
Is everybody coming?

135
00:06:14,129 --> 00:06:17,139
Yeah. The asylum
will be full.

136
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,110
I can't believe Grandpa's
not gonna be there.

137
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,069
I know, sweetie.

138
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,029
[beep]

139
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,160
You're doing
the right thing.

140
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:29,089
You're fully
experiencing the loss.

141
00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:32,149
And when you're ready,
take a deep breath in...

142
00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:33,189
[inhales deeply]

143
00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:35,029
Like that.

144
00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,230
Try to really maximize
the feeling.

145
00:06:37,009 --> 00:06:38,090
Feel it
really intensely.

146
00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:40,090
And then
as you exhale...

147
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,199
[exhales]

148
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:44,180
Just try to let
those feelings go, OK?

149
00:06:44,199 --> 00:06:47,019
He just died.

150
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,050
Yeah...I know.

151
00:06:49,069 --> 00:06:51,060
But believe me,
it's the way

152
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:53,139
your grandfather
would have wanted it.

153
00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:55,050
To be dead?

154
00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:32,220
Oh, where can she be?

155
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,110
Where's my little
tubby turtle?

156
00:07:37,129 --> 00:07:40,129
I'm not a turtle.
I'm Katie.

157
00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:42,120
Well, I'm looking
for someone

158
00:07:42,139 --> 00:07:43,209
to help me eat...

159
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,209
I will, Pom Pom.

160
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:47,100
A hot-fudge sundae.

161
00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:51,019
You OK?

162
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,100
Come on. Let's go
find your grandmother.

163
00:08:00,149 --> 00:08:02,110
Don't see why
you want to wait.

164
00:08:02,129 --> 00:08:04,000
[door opens]

165
00:08:04,019 --> 00:08:05,139
They have
a right to know.

166
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,199
No. It's
my decision now.

167
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,110
Fair enough.

168
00:08:09,129 --> 00:08:10,220
Man: Hello? Mom?

169
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,040
You have an appointment
with the parson tomorrow.

170
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,199
I don't think so.

171
00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,069
Man: There she is.

172
00:08:16,089 --> 00:08:17,199
Danny boy.

173
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,089
Hey, Lance.

174
00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,220
Good to see
you, Son.

175
00:08:21,009 --> 00:08:22,029
Grandma.

176
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:23,230
Oh, baby.

177
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:25,110
Oh...
you know what?

178
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,189
He loved you
and your daddy

179
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:31,100
more than anybody
else in the family.

180
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,029
I know that's
not true, but thanks.

181
00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:34,139
No. Really.

182
00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:36,009
He couldn't even
remember the names

183
00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:37,210
of his other 2
children.

184
00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:39,080
3 children.

185
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,139
Oh. Always thinking
of others.

186
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:44,129
Hey, Mom.

187
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,220
Woman: Burt.
Burt, did you grab...

188
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,019
I have to go.

189
00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:50,139
Are you sure
you're OK?

190
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:53,009
I feel as if I
finally have a chance

191
00:08:53,029 --> 00:08:55,029
to do something
with my life.

192
00:08:55,049 --> 00:08:56,090
Good.

193
00:08:57,179 --> 00:08:59,009
Aah!

194
00:08:59,029 --> 00:09:00,200
Alice.
Glad to see you.

195
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:03,019
Lance.
Katie, Katie, Katie.

196
00:09:03,039 --> 00:09:06,009
Oh, Alice. What
are we gonna do?

197
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:09,029
I think I'll just
take my old room

198
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,080
and then...Danny.

199
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,009
Hey, Alice.

200
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,149
Oh, I was just waiting
to see you on television, huh?

201
00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:16,090
Well, you may not
have to wait very long.

202
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:17,169
I actually--

203
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,070
Right. I'm just--
Mother...

204
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:21,110
God! I'm trying
to get to the sorrow.

205
00:09:21,129 --> 00:09:24,139
I really am, but I
still feel so angry.

206
00:09:24,159 --> 00:09:27,110
I mean, I want to just
grab him and shake him

207
00:09:27,129 --> 00:09:29,129
and say,
"How dare you?

208
00:09:29,149 --> 00:09:31,210
"How dare you go
out that back door

209
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,220
"with your little
suitcase?

210
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,159
I mean, where in God's name
are you going this time?"

211
00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:45,070
I'm OK, though.
I'm OK. I'm sorry.

212
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:48,110
Oh! I've never heard
you say that word.

213
00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:54,029
Well, we don't have to make
a talk show out of it, do we?

214
00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:55,230
Burt!

215
00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:59,039
Don't tarry.
Don't tarry.

216
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:01,090
Hi, Burt.
Hi, kids.

217
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:02,129
Hey, Burt.

218
00:10:02,149 --> 00:10:04,120
We've had a very
difficult trip.

219
00:10:04,139 --> 00:10:06,110
So we should probably
just consider

220
00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:08,009
what everybody
wants to eat,

221
00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:10,090
and that way, we can
just make one dish

222
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,039
that suits the group...

223
00:10:12,059 --> 00:10:14,039
Katie, voice-over:
Alice and her husband Burt

224
00:10:14,059 --> 00:10:16,210
had managed to produce
3 silent children.

225
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:19,120
Alice: My tribe only eats
bread and American cheese

226
00:10:19,139 --> 00:10:21,129
in various forms,
so I mean...

227
00:10:21,149 --> 00:10:25,090
I could make this dish
I think everybody might enjoy,

228
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:27,080
this little casserole
that I like to make.

229
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,220
I'm sort of famous
around my house for making it.

230
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,159
Have you said hello
to your grandmother?

231
00:10:31,179 --> 00:10:35,039
Let me take a look
at you three.

232
00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:37,049
Stop looking like
she's gonna bite you.

233
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,210
She's not gonna
bite you.

234
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:41,029
Stop it. Stop feigning
those fake little twitches

235
00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:42,179
that you're doing.
We've talked...

236
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,110
Katie, voice-over:
my grandmother always said

237
00:10:44,129 --> 00:10:46,129
she wished Alice
came with a mute button.

238
00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:48,070
Alice: If you think
it's any better

239
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,000
at any of your
friends' house,

240
00:10:50,019 --> 00:10:51,159
if you think it's any
better at their house,

241
00:10:51,179 --> 00:10:53,049
you can just pack your bags
and move in with them.

242
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,039
[no audio]

243
00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:55,029
[doorbell rings]

244
00:10:55,049 --> 00:10:57,059
Ah, that's better.

245
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,120
All right,
treat everybody

246
00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:03,080
with respect, OK?
Let's try not to be

247
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,120
the biggest freaks
in the circus.

248
00:11:05,139 --> 00:11:07,039
What the hell
is that supposed to mean?

249
00:11:07,059 --> 00:11:09,059
He wants us to say,
"No, thank you,"

250
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,059
instead of
"Eat my ass jello."

251
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,139
hey, stop it.
All right?

252
00:11:12,159 --> 00:11:14,009
Stop it,
for Christ's sakes.

253
00:11:14,029 --> 00:11:16,100
Where do you guys
learn that shit?

254
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,169
Mom...
sorry about Dad.

255
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:21,110
Yeah...mmm...

256
00:11:22,169 --> 00:11:24,049
You remember
the boys.

257
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:26,159
How could I forget them?

258
00:11:26,179 --> 00:11:27,200
Hey, G.

259
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,100
So, what did he
leave us?

260
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,049
Your grandfather's will
won't be read

261
00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:33,039
until after the funeral.

262
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,220
Talk about
being early.

263
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,129
Seriously, man.

264
00:11:38,149 --> 00:11:40,059
God, dude.
You always hit me first.

265
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,230
He pushed me.

266
00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:43,059
Hey, Skipper.

267
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,169
Hey.

268
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:48,149
Alice: Oh, why do terrible
things always come in threes?

269
00:11:48,169 --> 00:11:51,029
I see Alice is already
rifling through the drawers.

270
00:11:51,049 --> 00:11:52,139
No. I'm looking
for ingredients.

271
00:11:52,159 --> 00:11:55,090
I'm going to make us
all dinner tonight.

272
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:56,190
Hmm...

273
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:58,080
Hey, Uncle Skip.

274
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,230
Hey. Hi.

275
00:12:00,009 --> 00:12:01,080
Hey, boys.

276
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,149
Hi, Katie.

277
00:12:04,169 --> 00:12:06,090
Katie, voice-over:
Uncle Skip and the twins

278
00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:08,090
were a little heavy
with hormones,

279
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:10,190
but they were
at those ages.

280
00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:13,039
I used to have
an Aunt Lily, too,

281
00:12:13,059 --> 00:12:15,129
but they scared her away.

282
00:12:15,149 --> 00:12:17,129
Family legend
says it was

283
00:12:17,149 --> 00:12:20,059
the night before
their eleventh birthday.

284
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,100
What the hell
is that?

285
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,139
It's your birthday cake.

286
00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:27,039
I was hoping it
would be a surprise.

287
00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:28,059
I'm more
than surprised.

288
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,139
I'm shocked.

289
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:31,049
This isn't
what we ordered.

290
00:12:31,070 --> 00:12:33,080
You don't order
your mother.

291
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,080
I spent 2 days making--

292
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,080
We ordered an erotic
cheesecake.

293
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,000
Excuse me?

294
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,039
You're excused.

295
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,070
We'll fix it.

296
00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:47,059
Oh, no. Oh, God.

297
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:50,090
[Lily crying]

298
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:53,029
Oh...what?

299
00:12:53,049 --> 00:12:55,000
What?

300
00:12:58,169 --> 00:13:01,059
They ruined it.

301
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,019
They ruined it.

302
00:13:04,039 --> 00:13:07,070
Well, it is
their birthday, right?

303
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,230
Where did they
even hear the term

304
00:13:10,009 --> 00:13:11,230
"erotic cheesecake"?

305
00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:14,049
Somebody's got to teach them
these things, right?

306
00:13:14,070 --> 00:13:16,159
What..."things"?

307
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:19,200
That you can make
a cheesecake

308
00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:22,149
look like
disembodied breasts?

309
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,169
Or an ass.

310
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:28,029
[piano playing]

311
00:13:39,149 --> 00:13:41,129
Katie, sweetheart,
I want you

312
00:13:41,149 --> 00:13:43,200
to eulogize
your grandfather.

313
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:46,190
Oh, Grandma, I don't think
I can make a speech.

314
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:48,220
I wouldn't know
what to say.

315
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,159
If it were me,
I would want you

316
00:13:51,179 --> 00:13:56,049
to say something
that made some...

317
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,190
sense
out of my life,

318
00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:01,100
something
that honored me.

319
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,009
Hey, what about Dad?

320
00:14:04,029 --> 00:14:05,149
Or Skip? Or Lucy?

321
00:14:05,169 --> 00:14:07,100
Your grandfather
wanted you.

322
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,000
And you boys
are going to

323
00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:10,179
have to help
with the burial.

324
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,110
Your father left
very specific instructions.

325
00:14:14,129 --> 00:14:15,179
OK.

326
00:14:17,070 --> 00:14:18,190
Hi, everybody.

327
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:20,049
Hey, ladies.

328
00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:21,149
You remember Skip?

329
00:14:21,169 --> 00:14:22,179
Yeah.

330
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,059
And these are
his 2 boys...

331
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,159
Tim and Jim?

332
00:14:25,179 --> 00:14:26,190
Close enough.

333
00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:28,129
Hi, guys. I'm, uh...

334
00:14:28,149 --> 00:14:30,019
Lucy's life partner,
Judy.

335
00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:34,019
Lesbians.
Lesbians.

336
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:37,220
Alice: I really can't
believe you brought her.

337
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,029
Hello, Alice.

338
00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:43,019
No, it's just I thought
you'd come alone. It's family.

339
00:14:43,039 --> 00:14:44,129
Are you starting
already?

340
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,169
Oh, no. It just...
it didn't occur to me

341
00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:48,149
to bring my sex toys.
Did you bring any sex toys?

342
00:14:48,169 --> 00:14:50,190
You wouldn't know
a sex toy

343
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:52,220
if it left a battery
in your vagina.

344
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,200
Oh. My vagina,
as you were

345
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:57,009
so whimsically about
to refer to it,

346
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,029
has served
as sacred passage

347
00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:01,159
for 3 anatomically
correct children.

348
00:15:01,179 --> 00:15:03,149
So...

349
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:06,059
Bad image.
Erase, erase.

350
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,179
So, who needs a drink?

351
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,090
Let's drink.

352
00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:15,220
Katie, voice-over:
My family still observes

353
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,200
the cocktail hour...
with a vengeance.

354
00:15:35,039 --> 00:15:37,159
This isn't
about you, so...

355
00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:41,190
Are you talking
to the sex toy?

356
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,200
I'm sure you're
a very nice...lesbian.

357
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:47,009
Is that
the preferred term?

358
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,110
No. No.
We prefer "whore."

359
00:15:49,129 --> 00:15:54,029
I think all women do
these days.

360
00:15:54,049 --> 00:15:55,200
Well...

361
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,190
I guess I owe you
an apology.

362
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,220
Are you working
up to it?

363
00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:12,129
So...

364
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:15,179
What do you girls do?

365
00:16:17,149 --> 00:16:19,230
What do you mean,
"what do we do"?

366
00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:23,179
For fun.

367
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,110
We eat out,
go to the movies.

368
00:16:27,129 --> 00:16:29,039
Oh, normal stuff.

369
00:16:29,059 --> 00:16:30,230
Drinks.

370
00:16:31,009 --> 00:16:32,080
Ladies.

371
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,230
Thank you.

372
00:16:34,009 --> 00:16:36,120
Thank you.

373
00:16:36,139 --> 00:16:38,129
What did you
think we did?

374
00:16:38,149 --> 00:16:40,159
No, I didn't have a...

375
00:16:40,179 --> 00:16:42,129
I wasn't thinking
of something,

376
00:16:42,149 --> 00:16:45,120
and I just...I...

377
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,159
I don't know
what you do.

378
00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:51,090
Do you think
we spend all night

379
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,000
triple-tonguing
our cheese pots?

380
00:16:53,019 --> 00:16:54,009
Ah...

381
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,179
It's my father's funeral,

382
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,200
so if you could
muster up

383
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,170
just a little bit of respect,
that would be...

384
00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:09,160
Don't worry...you know.
Don't worry about Alice.

385
00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:13,049
You think she's gone,
she comes back, you know...

386
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:14,230
like herpes.

387
00:17:15,009 --> 00:17:17,130
Thanks, Skip.

388
00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:20,130
So, how are you
and Lucy doing?

389
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:22,130
Well, I mean...

390
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:25,130
This is just awful.

391
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:28,069
I know. I hate being
around my family, too.

392
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,150
Oh.

393
00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,230
Yeah. But, I mean...

394
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:35,160
How are you doing...
you know...

395
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,089
physically?

396
00:17:37,109 --> 00:17:39,170
Physically?

397
00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:41,230
Well, yeah. I mean,
like you said...what is it?

398
00:17:42,009 --> 00:17:43,150
Triple-tonguing.
What is that?

399
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:45,059
Is that a thing...

400
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:46,099
What are you doing?

401
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,099
Go talk
to your mother.

402
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,000
You talk to her.
She's a downer.

403
00:17:50,019 --> 00:17:51,109
She's a widow.

404
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:53,019
She was
a downer first.

405
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,150
Just go talk
to your mother.

406
00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:56,009
Excuse me.

407
00:17:56,029 --> 00:17:57,039
OK.

408
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,140
Do you need
a punch?

409
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,180
Do you want me
to punch you?

410
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,009
You have
real problems.

411
00:18:01,029 --> 00:18:02,150
You don't do that.
You don't throw

412
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,069
a lemon at me
in front of a lesbian.

413
00:18:04,089 --> 00:18:06,039
Nice going.

414
00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:08,079
Danny: Me nice going?
"The triple-tongue thing"?

415
00:18:08,099 --> 00:18:09,140
Hi.

416
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:16,089
My dad died
when I was 11.

417
00:18:16,109 --> 00:18:18,099
Oh.

418
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,000
I'm sorry.

419
00:18:20,019 --> 00:18:22,019
I don't know
why I said that.

420
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,160
What size are you?

421
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,230
Me?

422
00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:36,000
Come upstairs.

423
00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:38,150
This is the dress
I wore on the boardwalk

424
00:18:38,170 --> 00:18:41,059
in 1956.

425
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:44,009
It's...
it's so elegant.

426
00:18:44,029 --> 00:18:46,170
It's yours.
I wore it once.

427
00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:48,170
It was
a great night,

428
00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:50,170
maybe the best
night of my life.

429
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:52,029
It's a lucky dress.

430
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:53,130
I couldn't.

431
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:55,099
Oh, please.

432
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:56,200
Take them all.

433
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:59,009
I know we haven't spent
that much time together,

434
00:18:59,029 --> 00:19:00,210
but I already know
I like you better

435
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:02,140
than I like Alice.

436
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,059
Ha ha!

437
00:19:04,079 --> 00:19:08,000
And besides, Katie
and Lucy aren't my size.

438
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,099
Thank you.

439
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,099
[indistinct conversation]

440
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:22,049
[stammers]

441
00:19:22,069 --> 00:19:25,200
It's a little bit
runnier than usual.

442
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:28,220
Think I just didn't
put--move it.

443
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,210
Put enough
cheese in it.

444
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:35,140
This looks like it fell
out of a horse.

445
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,019
Thanks, but I already had
my mucus course for the day.

446
00:19:39,039 --> 00:19:40,140
Listen. You shut
your spit cave,

447
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,009
you foul-mouthed
little shit fucker

448
00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:44,099
before I beat the living
snot out of you.

449
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,180
I'm going down to Doc's
to pick up some lobster,

450
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,160
if anyone wants in.

451
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:50,019
Yes, please.
Good idea.

452
00:19:50,039 --> 00:19:51,200
Yeah, it's
a good idea.

453
00:19:51,220 --> 00:19:54,119
Get some big ones
with big meaty claws.

454
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:56,180
As a side dish,
it's fine.

455
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,180
Well...

456
00:20:00,069 --> 00:20:04,009
God, it's so good
to get out of there.

457
00:20:04,029 --> 00:20:07,029
Katie, it's good
to see you.

458
00:20:07,049 --> 00:20:11,009
Oh, Luce, I'm so sorry.

459
00:20:11,029 --> 00:20:13,039
Yeah. Well, it's OK.

460
00:20:13,059 --> 00:20:14,180
Nobody else
in the family

461
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,170
seems to give
a crap.

462
00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:18,150
Yeah, I've noticed.

463
00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:20,059
So, you coming?

464
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:21,130
Where?

465
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:23,009
To the wedding.

466
00:20:23,029 --> 00:20:24,170
What wedding?

467
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:27,000
Isn't that what
you're sorry for?

468
00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:28,200
I'm sorry about Grandpa.

469
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:33,059
Oh, Katie, nobody
blames you.

470
00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:35,019
Two
for dinner?

471
00:20:35,039 --> 00:20:36,220
No. I called in
an order for Collins.

472
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,140
Let me check
on that for you.

473
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,079
What wedding?

474
00:20:40,099 --> 00:20:42,119
Judy and I are
getting married.

475
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:43,170
Really?

476
00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:45,180
Vows
and everything.

477
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,089
Congratulations.

478
00:20:47,109 --> 00:20:49,029
I sent you
an invitation.

479
00:20:49,049 --> 00:20:50,160
No, you didn't.

480
00:20:50,180 --> 00:20:52,029
It's OK. Everybody
in the family

481
00:20:52,049 --> 00:20:53,200
is pretending
they didn't get it.

482
00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,000
I didn't get one.

483
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:57,019
I distinctly
remember weeding

484
00:20:57,039 --> 00:20:59,039
the family invites
out early. No.

485
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:01,099
I went to the...

486
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:02,210
I put them...
wait.

487
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:05,119
I mailed them.
I know it.

488
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,150
Ah!

489
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:09,039
I am such
a bonehead!

490
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:13,230
Stupid! Stupid!
Stupid! Oh! Well...

491
00:21:14,009 --> 00:21:15,230
Here you go.

492
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:17,109
What are you doing
down there?

493
00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:18,140
It's Ryan.

494
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,230
Little Ryan
from the be--aah!

495
00:21:23,009 --> 00:21:24,170
What are you doing?
He could hear you!

496
00:21:31,109 --> 00:21:32,170
Hi.

497
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:34,069
Katie, voice-over:
Little Ryan...

498
00:21:34,089 --> 00:21:36,059
my childhood friend.

499
00:21:38,019 --> 00:21:39,190
Since before
I can remember,

500
00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:42,009
we spent our summers
together.

501
00:21:42,029 --> 00:21:46,009
♪ Two fire-filled
car mats ♪

502
00:21:46,029 --> 00:21:49,009
♪ Never could
heed that warning ♪

503
00:21:49,029 --> 00:21:51,170
♪ Stay in the sky ♪

504
00:21:51,190 --> 00:21:54,069
Katie, voice-over:
He always acted like he had
a crush on me,

505
00:21:54,089 --> 00:21:57,130
and I always acted
like I didn't notice.

506
00:21:57,150 --> 00:22:00,079
It seemed like nothing could
ever come between us...

507
00:22:00,099 --> 00:22:04,150
until the last night
of last summer.

508
00:22:04,170 --> 00:22:09,049
♪ A peculiar ride ♪

509
00:22:09,069 --> 00:22:15,009
♪ 'Cause this is
our last chance ♪

510
00:22:15,029 --> 00:22:20,029
♪ And to that big mistake ♪

511
00:22:20,049 --> 00:22:25,200
♪ We are bound to make ♪

512
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,180
Katie, voice-over:
His parents were off

513
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,200
camping somewhere
with his little brother,

514
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:31,200
and everything
was perfect--

515
00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:33,180
the flicker
of the candlelight,

516
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,039
the gentle dancing
of the rain on the roof,

517
00:22:37,059 --> 00:22:40,109
the familiar sound
of a car door slamming.

518
00:22:40,130 --> 00:22:41,210
[car door slams]

519
00:22:46,190 --> 00:22:49,059
Katie. Katie. Katie!

520
00:22:51,019 --> 00:22:53,000
Katie, voice-over:
I never meant

521
00:22:53,019 --> 00:22:54,170
for anything
to happen between us.

522
00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:56,210
I couldn't let there be
any witnesses.

523
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,230
Woman: I could
heat up some lasagna

524
00:22:59,009 --> 00:23:00,190
if you boys
are hungry.

525
00:23:00,210 --> 00:23:02,130
Oh, hi...Katie.

526
00:23:05,099 --> 00:23:07,069
Nice to see
you again.

527
00:23:14,009 --> 00:23:16,099
Let's hear it.

528
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,109
No.

529
00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:18,160
Come on.
Do it.

530
00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:19,230
No.

531
00:23:20,009 --> 00:23:21,130
One last time.

532
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:23,019
OK.

533
00:23:23,039 --> 00:23:25,109
This one's
for Dad.

534
00:23:29,029 --> 00:23:31,009
Something is stuck
to my tongue.

535
00:23:31,029 --> 00:23:32,109
Oh! There it is.

536
00:23:32,130 --> 00:23:33,150
Wow.

537
00:23:33,170 --> 00:23:35,200
If I ever...

538
00:23:35,220 --> 00:23:37,039
Single bullet.

539
00:23:37,059 --> 00:23:38,180
To my left eye.

540
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,150
This is a good time.

541
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:43,000
How can this be
a good time?

542
00:23:43,019 --> 00:23:44,079
Your dad just died.

543
00:23:44,099 --> 00:23:46,160
My family could use
a little good news.

544
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:48,160
Trust me.

545
00:23:48,180 --> 00:23:53,089
Hey, everyone,
I have an announcement to make.

546
00:23:53,109 --> 00:23:55,089
We sent out
some invitations--

547
00:23:55,109 --> 00:23:57,119
or at least,
I thought we did--

548
00:23:57,140 --> 00:24:00,029
and I was actually getting
pretty angry at all of you.

549
00:24:00,049 --> 00:24:02,059
I suspected
some sort of--ah.

550
00:24:02,079 --> 00:24:04,190
Anyway, myself and Judy--

551
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:07,130
"Judy and I."

552
00:24:07,150 --> 00:24:09,150
Judy and I would like to--

553
00:24:09,170 --> 00:24:11,099
[sniffles]

554
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,019
What is it, Fred?

555
00:24:13,039 --> 00:24:14,220
It's Ted.
Ha ha ha!

556
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,029
What are you
laughing at?

557
00:24:16,049 --> 00:24:17,109
I don't know.

558
00:24:17,130 --> 00:24:19,029
But I can't wait
to find out what

559
00:24:19,049 --> 00:24:21,019
you 2 vaginiuses
are up to.

560
00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:22,079
What did you
just say?

561
00:24:22,099 --> 00:24:23,220
Nice vocab word.

562
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,170
What did he
just call us?

563
00:24:25,190 --> 00:24:26,200
Vaginiuses.

564
00:24:26,220 --> 00:24:28,210
It's a compound
compliment.

565
00:24:28,230 --> 00:24:30,119
You see what
I put up with?

566
00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:32,109
How can you tell me not to
scream my fucking head off?

567
00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:34,009
You're
losing it.

568
00:24:34,029 --> 00:24:36,049
No! These are the people
that you want at our wedding?

569
00:24:36,069 --> 00:24:38,200
Oh, is one of you
getting married?

570
00:24:38,220 --> 00:24:40,160
We both are.

571
00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:41,210
To who?

572
00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:44,009
To each other.

573
00:24:44,029 --> 00:24:46,079
Ha ha ha.

574
00:24:46,099 --> 00:24:47,089
Awesome!

575
00:24:47,109 --> 00:24:49,069
How many friends
can we bring?

576
00:24:49,089 --> 00:24:52,049
Alice: Ha ha ha.

577
00:24:52,069 --> 00:24:54,230
Oh, this is so rich.

578
00:24:55,009 --> 00:24:56,230
Katie: I think
it's great.

579
00:24:57,009 --> 00:24:58,190
Very great.

580
00:24:58,210 --> 00:25:01,000
Congratulations,
really.

581
00:25:01,019 --> 00:25:02,220
So, where's
the wedding happening?

582
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,009
In a dream?

583
00:25:05,029 --> 00:25:07,109
No, Alice.
In a town hall.

584
00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:11,099
Oh. Look, I just think
it's sad, all right?

585
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,079
Two women pretending
to be married.

586
00:25:14,099 --> 00:25:16,059
I pretended I was married
for 12 years.

587
00:25:16,079 --> 00:25:17,210
And I think that
marriage is based

588
00:25:17,230 --> 00:25:19,140
on commitment
and communication

589
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,079
and not necessarily
the presence of a penis.

590
00:25:22,099 --> 00:25:23,130
Thank you.

591
00:25:23,150 --> 00:25:25,099
Excuse me. My children
are here, all right?

592
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,009
Watch your language.

593
00:25:27,029 --> 00:25:29,089
What, are you worried
they're gonna repeat it?

594
00:25:29,109 --> 00:25:32,089
Burt, are you
gonna stand for this?

595
00:25:32,109 --> 00:25:33,210
Do you hear
what's going on here?

596
00:25:33,230 --> 00:25:36,180
[Burt laughing]

597
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,000
I...uh...

598
00:25:38,019 --> 00:25:41,099
Burt. Burt.
I mean...

599
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,230
At least Burt
and me know

600
00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:44,089
how we're supposed
to fit together.

601
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,109
"Burt and I."

602
00:25:45,130 --> 00:25:46,220
Is that what this
is all about?

603
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,109
Is that what everyone
in this fucked-up family

604
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:50,039
needs to know--
how we go together?

605
00:25:50,059 --> 00:25:53,019
Well, we often start
by gently kissing...

606
00:25:53,039 --> 00:25:55,049
Oh, I am not
doing this.

607
00:25:55,069 --> 00:25:57,029
I said I am not
doing this.

608
00:25:57,049 --> 00:25:59,069
Fred: Aw, come back!

609
00:25:59,089 --> 00:26:01,109
Aunt Lucy was really
making her point.

610
00:26:01,130 --> 00:26:03,109
So, Luce, since you're
having people perform,

611
00:26:03,130 --> 00:26:05,099
you know, fake ceremonies
and stuff,

612
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,089
why don't you
just have them

613
00:26:07,109 --> 00:26:09,089
announce you queen
or president?

614
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,009
Shut it.

615
00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,029
Fred and Ted:
All right!

616
00:26:14,049 --> 00:26:17,019
OK.

617
00:26:17,039 --> 00:26:19,019
Because, I mean,
there are programs--

618
00:26:19,039 --> 00:26:20,059
Shut your
goddamn mouth!

619
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:22,019
Who just cast
a spell on you!

620
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:23,140
Oh, here we go!

621
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,000
Make you less afraid
of male genitalia.

622
00:26:26,019 --> 00:26:27,109
Shut it!

623
00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:29,019
Whoa! Whoa!

624
00:26:29,039 --> 00:26:31,000
When did you get
so much stronger than me?

625
00:26:31,019 --> 00:26:32,089
Shut it.

626
00:26:32,109 --> 00:26:33,150
Oh, I forgot.
You're not.

627
00:26:33,170 --> 00:26:34,170
Aah!

628
00:26:34,190 --> 00:26:35,220
Table.

629
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Wuss.

630
00:26:37,019 --> 00:26:38,109
Oh, no.

631
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:41,000
Whoa!

632
00:26:41,019 --> 00:26:42,079
[screaming]

633
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,150
[doorbell rings]

634
00:26:49,170 --> 00:26:50,200
Guys!

635
00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:52,029
All right. That's
almost enough.

636
00:26:54,019 --> 00:26:55,119
Danny: God.

637
00:26:55,140 --> 00:26:57,109
I love this family.

638
00:26:57,130 --> 00:26:59,109
And you didn't
want to come.

639
00:27:02,049 --> 00:27:03,160
Katie, voice-over:
One thing about being

640
00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:06,019
in such
a theatrical family--

641
00:27:06,039 --> 00:27:07,190
it's easy to lose track

642
00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:11,009
of everything that's
happening offstage.

643
00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:12,130
Grandma.

644
00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:14,160
Grandma.

645
00:27:14,180 --> 00:27:16,019
Grandma.

646
00:27:16,039 --> 00:27:17,089
[knocking]

647
00:27:17,109 --> 00:27:18,180
Grandma, are you OK?

648
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,049
Grandma:
I'm all right.

649
00:27:20,069 --> 00:27:21,109
Katie: Open up
the door.

650
00:27:21,130 --> 00:27:22,210
Mom.

651
00:27:22,230 --> 00:27:24,059
Clear.
What?

652
00:27:24,079 --> 00:27:25,150
Clear!

653
00:27:25,170 --> 00:27:26,220
Ow!

654
00:27:28,130 --> 00:27:30,000
Alice: What happened?

655
00:27:30,019 --> 00:27:31,160
What did you do?

656
00:27:31,180 --> 00:27:34,109
I just slipped,
and I spilled all this stuff.

657
00:27:34,130 --> 00:27:36,160
Somebody please get me
a glass of water.

658
00:27:36,180 --> 00:27:39,089
Get her some water.

659
00:27:39,109 --> 00:27:41,200
I'm fine.
Are you hurt?

660
00:27:41,220 --> 00:27:43,029
Can you get up?

661
00:27:43,049 --> 00:27:44,200
How did you fall down?

662
00:27:44,220 --> 00:27:45,210
She slipped.

663
00:27:47,150 --> 00:27:50,049
Thank you all
so much.

664
00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:51,099
Grandma, what
are you doing?

665
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:52,180
Mom!
I knew it!

666
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,019
[P.A. announcement]

667
00:27:55,039 --> 00:27:56,140
Stop it.

668
00:27:58,089 --> 00:27:59,200
Just stop it.

669
00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:01,140
I am not
doing anything.

670
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,019
Man: Collins.

671
00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:05,109
I'm Dr. Rice.
We pumped your mother's stomach.

672
00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:07,009
Alice: It was
an accident.

673
00:28:07,029 --> 00:28:08,140
How did she
accidentally chug

674
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,099
half a bottle
of sleeping pills?

675
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:11,210
She was cleaning
them up.

676
00:28:11,230 --> 00:28:13,089
With her mouth?

677
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:14,190
We need to keep her
for the night,

678
00:28:14,210 --> 00:28:16,130
but she's going
to be fine.

679
00:28:16,150 --> 00:28:18,130
She recently lost her husband,
and she slipped,

680
00:28:18,150 --> 00:28:20,220
and I think
she got confused with--

681
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,190
Lucy? Little Lucy
Toothy, is that you?

682
00:28:23,210 --> 00:28:25,059
It's been so long.

683
00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:26,109
Samantha, hi.

684
00:28:28,029 --> 00:28:29,109
Alice.

685
00:28:29,130 --> 00:28:32,119
How are you?

686
00:28:32,140 --> 00:28:34,069
Great.
Just great.

687
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:36,069
When can we
take her home?

688
00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:37,190
Well, like I say,
just overnight,

689
00:28:37,210 --> 00:28:39,069
and then tomorrow
we'll sign her out

690
00:28:39,089 --> 00:28:40,089
and you can
take her home.

691
00:28:40,109 --> 00:28:41,190
Well, I think...

692
00:28:41,210 --> 00:28:43,180
Could you keep her
for another day,

693
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,079
just to be safe?

694
00:28:45,099 --> 00:28:47,029
Oh, my God.

695
00:28:47,049 --> 00:28:48,180
Bite me.

696
00:28:56,039 --> 00:28:58,140
[telephone rings]

697
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,009
Skip.

698
00:29:03,109 --> 00:29:05,150
Hey, Sis. Did
they puke her?

699
00:29:07,130 --> 00:29:09,019
All right,
I'll spread it.

700
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:11,049
All right. Bye.

701
00:29:11,069 --> 00:29:13,109
She unswallowed.

702
00:29:13,130 --> 00:29:15,190
Oh, thank God.
Poor Grandma.

703
00:29:15,210 --> 00:29:17,059
Yeah.

704
00:29:17,079 --> 00:29:19,200
She just wants to be
the star of the funeral.

705
00:29:19,220 --> 00:29:21,180
No, she doesn't.

706
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,160
Hey, Elvis killed himself
because someone

707
00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:25,210
was gonna write a book
about his underwear wrestling.

708
00:29:25,230 --> 00:29:28,039
What?

709
00:29:28,059 --> 00:29:29,119
What are you doing?

710
00:29:30,220 --> 00:29:33,210
Grandma asked me
to speak at the funeral.

711
00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:35,230
Huh. Nobody
asked me to speak.

712
00:29:36,009 --> 00:29:37,089
Do you want to?

713
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:40,170
Because I have no idea
what to say.

714
00:29:40,190 --> 00:29:42,029
Just say...

715
00:29:42,049 --> 00:29:43,160
[sighs]

716
00:29:43,180 --> 00:29:45,109
He was away so much,

717
00:29:45,130 --> 00:29:47,069
it was weird
to have him around.

718
00:29:47,089 --> 00:29:48,210
[pouring cereal]

719
00:29:48,230 --> 00:29:51,109
I just want
to say something

720
00:29:51,130 --> 00:29:54,119
beautiful
and poetic.

721
00:29:56,029 --> 00:29:57,200
Pop loved poetry.

722
00:29:57,220 --> 00:29:59,150
He did?

723
00:29:59,170 --> 00:30:01,180
Yeah.

724
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,180
All the ones
about Nantucket.

725
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,200
I think his favorite
was about

726
00:30:06,220 --> 00:30:08,140
a little
handicapped girl--

727
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,170
There once was
a girl who was crippled

728
00:30:11,190 --> 00:30:14,150
by the weight
of her overgrown nipple.

729
00:30:14,170 --> 00:30:16,079
Katie, voice-over:
I needed to talk to someone

730
00:30:16,099 --> 00:30:17,200
who saw Grandpa clearly.

731
00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:19,200
♪ As I remember your eyes ♪

732
00:30:19,220 --> 00:30:23,150
♪ Were bluer
than robin's eggs ♪

733
00:30:23,170 --> 00:30:26,119
♪ My poetry was lousy,
you said ♪

734
00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:27,200
[knock on door]
Katie: Dad.

735
00:30:27,220 --> 00:30:30,079
♪ Where are you
calling from? ♪

736
00:30:30,099 --> 00:30:32,079
♪ A booth
on the midway ♪

737
00:30:32,099 --> 00:30:34,039
Dad, are you
in there?

738
00:30:34,059 --> 00:30:36,220
[knocking on door]

739
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:42,140
♪ 10 years ago,
I bought you some cufflinks ♪

740
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,099
♪ You brought me
something... ♪

741
00:30:44,119 --> 00:30:46,029
[turns down music]

742
00:30:46,049 --> 00:30:48,220
Dad, the door is locked,
and I need to talk.

743
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,079
Katie?

744
00:30:50,099 --> 00:30:51,210
Dad?

745
00:30:51,230 --> 00:30:53,059
Fuck!

746
00:30:53,079 --> 00:30:55,150
Coming.

747
00:30:58,220 --> 00:31:00,000
Dad.

748
00:31:00,019 --> 00:31:02,019
Coming.

749
00:31:05,069 --> 00:31:08,079
Fuck! Fuck!

750
00:31:10,029 --> 00:31:11,200
Ah!

751
00:31:11,220 --> 00:31:13,029
Dad.

752
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,059
Coming.
Coming, sweetie.

753
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,099
Goddamn it!

754
00:31:28,190 --> 00:31:31,089
Is that a joint?

755
00:31:33,049 --> 00:31:34,130
Ah!

756
00:31:34,150 --> 00:31:37,170
Dad?

757
00:31:50,150 --> 00:31:52,039
Yes, boys?

758
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:58,009
So, uh...how's
that book going?

759
00:31:58,029 --> 00:31:59,200
It's hot.

760
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,210
Can we...help you
with anything?

761
00:32:06,230 --> 00:32:11,039
Maybe, uh...
intern with you?

762
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,160
You can rub my feet
if you want.

763
00:32:21,009 --> 00:32:23,009
Mom has that appointment
with the parson tomorrow.

764
00:32:23,029 --> 00:32:24,150
Yeah. Well,
don't worry,

765
00:32:24,170 --> 00:32:26,059
because I'm
gonna spring her.

766
00:32:26,079 --> 00:32:28,059
She was trying
to kill herself.

767
00:32:28,079 --> 00:32:30,109
Yeah. It's
pretty common.

768
00:32:30,130 --> 00:32:32,089
In fact, after
Scandinavians,

769
00:32:32,109 --> 00:32:33,200
it's the over-70
crowd

770
00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:35,220
that is the most
suicidal.

771
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,029
Well, shouldn't we be doing
something to help her?

772
00:32:38,049 --> 00:32:39,180
No. Mm-mmm.

773
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,059
Because once people
have their mind made up,

774
00:32:42,079 --> 00:32:43,210
there's really
very little

775
00:32:43,230 --> 00:32:45,160
that you could do
to stop them.

776
00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:48,150
There's got to be
something we can do.

777
00:32:48,170 --> 00:32:50,210
Do you remember
that game against Easton?

778
00:32:50,230 --> 00:32:53,130
Oh, yeah. They were
a very tough team.

779
00:32:53,150 --> 00:32:55,200
No, but do you
remember...

780
00:32:55,220 --> 00:33:00,089
Naomi in the hotel
with the oow-oow-oow?

781
00:33:00,109 --> 00:33:02,059
Do you remember?

782
00:33:02,079 --> 00:33:05,049
"Oh, look at how silly
and normal I can act

783
00:33:05,069 --> 00:33:07,079
when I'm not
persecuting my sister."

784
00:33:07,099 --> 00:33:08,170
[mock laughter]

785
00:33:18,009 --> 00:33:19,210
So...

786
00:33:19,230 --> 00:33:23,089
How often
do you smoke?

787
00:33:23,109 --> 00:33:25,140
You know...

788
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,150
Never
in the morning.

789
00:33:27,170 --> 00:33:28,230
Dad.

790
00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:30,200
I know. That
was really lame.

791
00:33:30,220 --> 00:33:32,069
I just...

792
00:33:32,089 --> 00:33:34,180
I don't know what
I'm doing anymore.

793
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,009
You're mourning.

794
00:33:37,029 --> 00:33:38,099
Yeah.

795
00:33:38,119 --> 00:33:39,220
What?

796
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,130
You're mourning.

797
00:33:41,150 --> 00:33:43,150
Yeah. Yes.
I think I am.

798
00:33:43,170 --> 00:33:45,009
Yeah.

799
00:33:45,029 --> 00:33:47,220
You'd think I'd be
over it by now.

800
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,059
Well, Dad,
it just happened.

801
00:33:50,079 --> 00:33:51,220
No.

802
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,089
He's been dead
for years.

803
00:33:54,109 --> 00:33:55,220
What?

804
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,210
If I just
would have gotten

805
00:33:57,230 --> 00:33:59,220
that stupid
toothpaste commercial.

806
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,130
That was the moment.

807
00:34:01,150 --> 00:34:03,009
I swear to God.

808
00:34:03,029 --> 00:34:05,109
What are we
talking about?

809
00:34:05,130 --> 00:34:07,000
I was the choice

810
00:34:07,019 --> 00:34:08,190
for this toothpaste
campaign.

811
00:34:08,210 --> 00:34:10,199
I was the guy,
and I just...

812
00:34:10,219 --> 00:34:12,190
I could not
say the line.

813
00:34:12,210 --> 00:34:14,099
I literally...
I couldn't say it.

814
00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:16,079
"It's the breath
freshiest."

815
00:34:16,099 --> 00:34:18,070
I just...

816
00:34:18,090 --> 00:34:20,219
OK. I can't believe
I just said that.

817
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,130
I have never been able
to say that before.

818
00:34:23,150 --> 00:34:25,030
It's like a tongue
twister for me.

819
00:34:25,050 --> 00:34:26,199
"It's the breath
freshiest."

820
00:34:26,219 --> 00:34:28,119
Oh, my God!

821
00:34:28,139 --> 00:34:30,150
Ha ha...

822
00:34:30,170 --> 00:34:33,000
Fuck.

823
00:34:35,159 --> 00:34:38,099
Um, Dad, are you OK?

824
00:34:38,119 --> 00:34:40,090
Yeah. I'm sorry.

825
00:34:40,110 --> 00:34:43,079
I'm sorry.
It's just...

826
00:34:45,059 --> 00:34:46,190
I just feel
sometimes

827
00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:48,199
like I've spent
my whole life

828
00:34:48,219 --> 00:34:50,110
in this waiting room

829
00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:52,000
at an audition,
you know,

830
00:34:52,019 --> 00:34:54,030
and they finally called
my fucking name,

831
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:55,190
and I just...

832
00:34:55,210 --> 00:34:57,159
And then somebody else
stood up, you know,

833
00:34:57,179 --> 00:34:59,039
and they got my role,

834
00:34:59,059 --> 00:35:01,010
and they've been
living my life,

835
00:35:01,030 --> 00:35:02,159
and I'm just groping.

836
00:35:02,179 --> 00:35:04,059
I've just been
stumbling around

837
00:35:04,079 --> 00:35:06,159
in the dark
ever since then.

838
00:35:06,179 --> 00:35:09,090
[sighs]

839
00:35:09,110 --> 00:35:11,110
Your mom knew.
Your mom knew.

840
00:35:11,130 --> 00:35:12,230
She always said,

841
00:35:13,010 --> 00:35:15,110
"We have to get out
of acting, Daniel."

842
00:35:15,130 --> 00:35:17,190
Mom was an actress?

843
00:35:21,010 --> 00:35:22,090
No.

844
00:35:22,110 --> 00:35:24,230
You just said, "we have to
get out of acting."

845
00:35:25,010 --> 00:35:27,110
No. I must have...
misspelled something.

846
00:35:27,130 --> 00:35:29,019
What?

847
00:35:31,010 --> 00:35:32,010
What?

848
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:34,019
You told me Mom
was a social worker

849
00:35:34,039 --> 00:35:35,170
who died
of caring too much.

850
00:35:35,190 --> 00:35:37,139
[stifling laughter]

851
00:35:37,159 --> 00:35:38,159
I said she...

852
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:40,090
What did I say
she did?

853
00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:41,210
Ha ha ha.

854
00:35:41,230 --> 00:35:43,130
Dad, did you lie to me?

855
00:35:43,150 --> 00:35:45,039
No, no, no, no.

856
00:35:45,059 --> 00:35:46,079
No?

857
00:35:46,099 --> 00:35:47,210
No. No.

858
00:35:47,230 --> 00:35:50,199
I probably was just...
protecting you.

859
00:35:50,219 --> 00:35:54,030
So, Mom was an actress?

860
00:35:54,050 --> 00:35:55,139
Well...

861
00:35:55,159 --> 00:35:57,190
Is there anything
I could see her in?

862
00:35:57,210 --> 00:35:59,170
No.

863
00:35:59,190 --> 00:36:01,079
No?

864
00:36:01,099 --> 00:36:02,170
No. Well...

865
00:36:02,190 --> 00:36:04,170
Uh...

866
00:36:04,190 --> 00:36:07,199
What kind of movies
did Mom make, Dad?

867
00:36:07,219 --> 00:36:10,030
Honestly,
it's not that bad.

868
00:36:10,050 --> 00:36:12,190
She never used
her real name.

869
00:36:12,210 --> 00:36:14,170
Katie: Do you have any...

870
00:36:14,190 --> 00:36:19,070
Do you have any
Cookie Tushala movies?

871
00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:22,030
I'll check, but we're
probably all out.

872
00:36:22,050 --> 00:36:23,190
Is that
Katie Collins?

873
00:36:23,210 --> 00:36:25,010
Hi.

874
00:36:25,030 --> 00:36:26,219
Hi, Katie.
I haven't seen you

875
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,179
since you were
at the house with...

876
00:36:28,199 --> 00:36:30,079
You're in luck.

877
00:36:30,099 --> 00:36:32,010
And this one's
possibly her best,

878
00:36:32,030 --> 00:36:34,230
just for its utter
lack of story.

879
00:36:35,010 --> 00:36:36,110
We heard about
your grandfather.

880
00:36:36,130 --> 00:36:38,159
Oh, yes. We didn't
know him very well,

881
00:36:38,179 --> 00:36:40,090
but we're very sorry.

882
00:36:40,110 --> 00:36:41,219
Oh, thanks so much.

883
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,070
Yeah.
That'll be $3.50.

884
00:36:43,090 --> 00:36:45,110
Does Ryan know
you're here?

885
00:36:45,130 --> 00:36:49,170
Oh. Wait till he hears
who we saw renting...

886
00:36:49,190 --> 00:36:51,139
Vagina Town.

887
00:36:51,159 --> 00:36:53,190
Ha ha. Thanks.

888
00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:55,110
It's a classic.

889
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:57,039
Ha ha ha.

890
00:36:57,059 --> 00:36:58,150
How would
I know?

891
00:36:58,170 --> 00:37:00,110
[doorbell jingles]

892
00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:02,110
Katie, voice-over:
All of my life,

893
00:37:02,130 --> 00:37:04,150
I've wished
I could see my mother.

894
00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:07,119
Be careful
what you wish for.

895
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,119
[gunshots]

896
00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:23,159
[doorbell rings]

897
00:37:23,179 --> 00:37:25,059
[western music playing]

898
00:37:25,079 --> 00:37:27,030
Man on videotape:
Howdy, ma'am.

899
00:37:27,050 --> 00:37:28,159
Fred: Coming.

900
00:37:28,179 --> 00:37:32,130
I just rode into town
from a long ride on the trail.

901
00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:34,039
We didn't see this town

902
00:37:34,059 --> 00:37:37,039
on any of our
trail maps, ma'am.

903
00:37:37,059 --> 00:37:40,159
Ryan: Hey, dudes.
I'm looking for Katie.

904
00:37:40,179 --> 00:37:42,159
She's here
somewhere.

905
00:37:42,179 --> 00:37:44,039
Cousin Katie!

906
00:37:44,059 --> 00:37:46,050
Woman on videotape:
This here town

907
00:37:46,070 --> 00:37:48,000
is unlike
any other town.

908
00:37:48,019 --> 00:37:49,099
Man on videotape:
Yes, ma'am.

909
00:37:49,119 --> 00:37:52,000
This is a very unusual town
you have here.

910
00:37:52,019 --> 00:37:53,199
Woman on videotape:
I hope you boys

911
00:37:53,219 --> 00:37:55,090
know how to ride
bareback.

912
00:37:55,110 --> 00:37:57,150
Holy Jesus!
His penis!

913
00:37:57,170 --> 00:37:59,150
Katie, voice-over:
Most people don't even like

914
00:37:59,170 --> 00:38:01,090
to think of their parents
having sex with each other,

915
00:38:01,110 --> 00:38:04,190
much less with multiple
bad actors.

916
00:38:04,210 --> 00:38:07,030
I had to do something.

917
00:38:13,170 --> 00:38:15,030
Alice: Morning.

918
00:38:15,050 --> 00:38:16,119
Katie: Morning.

919
00:38:16,139 --> 00:38:17,170
Coffee?

920
00:38:17,190 --> 00:38:19,039
No.

921
00:38:19,059 --> 00:38:21,170
Other families have
these sort of problems,

922
00:38:21,190 --> 00:38:24,090
but they don't talk
about them, all right?

923
00:38:24,110 --> 00:38:27,150
I mean, I'm sorry.
I live in the real world.

924
00:38:27,170 --> 00:38:30,150
I work hard at raising
a decent family.

925
00:38:30,170 --> 00:38:32,070
Oh!

926
00:38:32,090 --> 00:38:35,000
You don't see me prancing around
in my pajamas all day,

927
00:38:35,019 --> 00:38:37,090
starting up pillow fights
with my topless girlfriend.

928
00:38:39,030 --> 00:38:40,199
What are we
talking about?

929
00:38:40,219 --> 00:38:43,079
It won't work.
Everyone knows

930
00:38:43,099 --> 00:38:46,039
that the only gay
relationships that last

931
00:38:46,059 --> 00:38:48,119
are between people
of the same height.

932
00:38:48,139 --> 00:38:51,210
Did you and Lucy
ever get along?

933
00:38:51,230 --> 00:38:53,079
Well, I guess.

934
00:38:53,099 --> 00:38:56,010
Well, when your grandfather
was around, of course.

935
00:38:56,030 --> 00:38:57,190
He kept the peace?

936
00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:59,030
No, no, no.

937
00:38:59,050 --> 00:39:01,059
He just kept us
on eggshells.

938
00:39:01,079 --> 00:39:04,170
He had us all so desperate
for his approval.

939
00:39:04,190 --> 00:39:06,170
Well, look
at your father.

940
00:39:06,190 --> 00:39:09,210
He made a career
out of it.

941
00:39:09,230 --> 00:39:10,219
Morning.

942
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,119
Morning, Danny.

943
00:39:12,139 --> 00:39:13,179
Everybody
sleep OK?

944
00:39:13,199 --> 00:39:15,010
Never.

945
00:39:15,030 --> 00:39:17,230
Danny: Hey, did we have
a blackout last night?

946
00:39:18,010 --> 00:39:19,179
That's what I heard.

947
00:39:19,199 --> 00:39:21,170
We sure did. I couldn't
even find my room--

948
00:39:21,190 --> 00:39:22,210
What?

949
00:39:22,230 --> 00:39:24,079
You found
my room all right.

950
00:39:24,099 --> 00:39:25,210
It was dark.

951
00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:28,170
So you hid
in my closet?

952
00:39:28,190 --> 00:39:30,030
With your kids?

953
00:39:30,050 --> 00:39:31,210
We were lost.

954
00:39:31,230 --> 00:39:34,059
Hey, you guys,
listen to this.

955
00:39:34,079 --> 00:39:36,050
Tell me
how it sounds.

956
00:39:36,070 --> 00:39:38,199
"Grandpa made us aware
that there is

957
00:39:38,219 --> 00:39:42,019
a whole world
of opportunity out there."

958
00:39:42,039 --> 00:39:43,130
He did?

959
00:39:43,150 --> 00:39:45,050
Who are we
talking about?

960
00:39:45,070 --> 00:39:46,079
Grandpa.

961
00:39:46,099 --> 00:39:48,039
Tell her
about the time

962
00:39:48,059 --> 00:39:49,190
that Dad built
us that swing.

963
00:39:49,210 --> 00:39:51,110
That was Carl,
the neighbor.

964
00:39:51,130 --> 00:39:53,000
Alice: Mr. Grabby.

965
00:39:53,019 --> 00:39:55,030
Mr. Grabby
built the swing?

966
00:39:55,050 --> 00:39:58,030
Mmm. Oh, he was
so creepy.

967
00:39:58,050 --> 00:39:59,070
He'd put his hand
on your shoulder

968
00:39:59,090 --> 00:40:00,170
and announce,
"You're it."

969
00:40:00,190 --> 00:40:02,050
Then he wouldn't
run away.

970
00:40:02,070 --> 00:40:04,119
He wouldn't even
take his hand away.

971
00:40:04,139 --> 00:40:05,179
Right.

972
00:40:05,199 --> 00:40:07,119
Um...hi, you guys.

973
00:40:07,139 --> 00:40:09,119
There was a lot
of paperwork,

974
00:40:09,139 --> 00:40:11,070
and I had to pull
some strings

975
00:40:11,090 --> 00:40:12,210
and sign
a lot of names,

976
00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:13,210
but she's back.

977
00:40:13,230 --> 00:40:15,190
Grandma.
There she is.

978
00:40:15,210 --> 00:40:17,079
Hi, Mother.

979
00:40:17,099 --> 00:40:19,090
Try it again,
I'll kill you myself.

980
00:40:19,110 --> 00:40:21,070
Alice.

981
00:40:21,090 --> 00:40:24,210
Well, I have to get
back to work, so...bye.

982
00:40:24,230 --> 00:40:26,139
Thanks, Sam.

983
00:40:26,159 --> 00:40:28,159
What happened, Grandma?

984
00:40:28,179 --> 00:40:30,090
Nothing happened.

985
00:40:30,110 --> 00:40:32,210
I was just
a little confused.

986
00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:34,070
About what?

987
00:40:34,090 --> 00:40:37,039
I thought the vows
we took were forever.

988
00:40:37,059 --> 00:40:39,039
Katie: They were.

989
00:40:39,059 --> 00:40:41,079
It's just that
your forever

990
00:40:41,099 --> 00:40:43,050
was longer than
Grandpa's forever.

991
00:40:43,070 --> 00:40:44,230
Hi, everybody.

992
00:40:45,010 --> 00:40:47,099
Hi.
Hey, Ryan.

993
00:40:47,119 --> 00:40:50,000
Hey, Ryan.

994
00:40:50,019 --> 00:40:51,210
How are you?

995
00:40:51,230 --> 00:40:54,210
Good. Um...

996
00:40:54,230 --> 00:40:56,219
I'm sorry about
your grandfather.

997
00:40:58,210 --> 00:41:01,199
Hey. You know...

998
00:41:01,219 --> 00:41:05,210
He died. Ha ha.

999
00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:08,010
Yeah. Um...
you know, it's...

1000
00:41:08,030 --> 00:41:10,079
You can't, uh...

1001
00:41:12,190 --> 00:41:15,050
You want to, like,
go for a walk or...

1002
00:41:31,130 --> 00:41:32,130
So...

1003
00:41:34,079 --> 00:41:36,000
So...

1004
00:41:36,019 --> 00:41:38,110
Still driving a taxi?

1005
00:41:38,130 --> 00:41:40,090
Yeah. Yep.

1006
00:41:40,110 --> 00:41:43,010
To save up money
for college.

1007
00:41:43,030 --> 00:41:45,030
Are you mad at me?

1008
00:41:45,050 --> 00:41:46,130
No.

1009
00:41:46,150 --> 00:41:47,179
Really?

1010
00:41:47,199 --> 00:41:51,010
Really. I mean it.

1011
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:53,000
You're a great kid.

1012
00:41:56,039 --> 00:41:57,130
Um...thanks, Coach.

1013
00:42:00,159 --> 00:42:04,000
No, I just...
I just think that...

1014
00:42:04,019 --> 00:42:06,079
What happened
last summer was--

1015
00:42:06,099 --> 00:42:07,190
What?

1016
00:42:07,210 --> 00:42:09,219
What happened?

1017
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,090
At your house.

1018
00:42:19,219 --> 00:42:22,059
Oh, you
don't mean...

1019
00:42:22,079 --> 00:42:24,050
that time when
you attacked me

1020
00:42:24,070 --> 00:42:26,030
at the movie
theater,

1021
00:42:26,050 --> 00:42:28,030
and then you came
over to my place

1022
00:42:28,050 --> 00:42:29,199
and took all
your clothes off

1023
00:42:29,219 --> 00:42:31,199
and then ran out without
saying good-bye.

1024
00:42:31,219 --> 00:42:34,139
Is that what you're
talking about?

1025
00:42:34,159 --> 00:42:35,199
Katie.

1026
00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:36,230
Knock-knock.

1027
00:42:37,010 --> 00:42:38,010
Who's there?

1028
00:42:38,030 --> 00:42:39,010
Salmon.

1029
00:42:39,030 --> 00:42:40,139
Salmon who?

1030
00:42:40,159 --> 00:42:41,190
Salmonella.

1031
00:42:41,210 --> 00:42:43,150
What are you doing?

1032
00:42:43,170 --> 00:42:45,070
Science experiment.

1033
00:42:45,090 --> 00:42:46,210
How many eggs
does it take

1034
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,170
to make them
say something?

1035
00:42:48,190 --> 00:42:50,090
Speak,
young cousins.

1036
00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:53,159
Burt, you see
what's going on here?

1037
00:42:53,179 --> 00:42:55,130
Burt.

1038
00:42:55,150 --> 00:42:57,130
Oh. Uh...

1039
00:42:57,150 --> 00:42:59,079
Uh...

1040
00:42:59,099 --> 00:43:02,219
Ha ha ha.

1041
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,130
Uh...

1042
00:43:04,150 --> 00:43:06,030
[egg cracks]

1043
00:43:06,050 --> 00:43:08,090
What has Alice done
to all of you?

1044
00:43:11,110 --> 00:43:13,230
Now, this is
my favorite.

1045
00:43:14,010 --> 00:43:16,079
Cherry,
inlaid olive,

1046
00:43:16,099 --> 00:43:19,000
and real brass
fittings.

1047
00:43:19,019 --> 00:43:20,230
At just $32,000,

1048
00:43:21,010 --> 00:43:23,050
it's quite
a steal.

1049
00:43:23,070 --> 00:43:25,090
Just $32,000?

1050
00:43:25,110 --> 00:43:26,179
How much
does it cost

1051
00:43:26,199 --> 00:43:27,230
to stick him in
a garbage bag?

1052
00:43:28,010 --> 00:43:28,230
Mother!

1053
00:43:29,010 --> 00:43:30,070
What does he care?

1054
00:43:30,090 --> 00:43:33,199
Mom, it's just
unbelievably disrespectful.

1055
00:43:33,219 --> 00:43:35,199
This isn't even
going in the ground.

1056
00:43:35,219 --> 00:43:36,230
What?

1057
00:43:37,010 --> 00:43:38,070
What do you mean?

1058
00:43:38,090 --> 00:43:40,230
Danny: Dad wanted us
to float him out

1059
00:43:41,010 --> 00:43:43,099
in a flaming boat.

1060
00:43:43,119 --> 00:43:45,090
I'm not sure
that's legal.

1061
00:43:45,110 --> 00:43:47,119
Great.

1062
00:43:47,139 --> 00:43:50,130
Well, my kids are not
staying for that.

1063
00:43:50,150 --> 00:43:53,010
Why doesn't he
want to be buried?

1064
00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:54,139
I don't want
to be buried.

1065
00:43:54,159 --> 00:43:56,039
No. This is not
about you.

1066
00:43:56,059 --> 00:43:57,159
I hate bugs.

1067
00:43:57,179 --> 00:44:00,050
Yeah, I have to admit,
I don't exactly get

1068
00:44:00,070 --> 00:44:02,050
the whole cemetery
thing myself.

1069
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:03,130
A cemetery is like

1070
00:44:03,150 --> 00:44:06,090
an old-age home
for the dead,

1071
00:44:06,110 --> 00:44:09,090
a place where you can
visit your loved ones

1072
00:44:09,110 --> 00:44:11,019
without the bother

1073
00:44:11,039 --> 00:44:13,010
of daily care
and maintenance.

1074
00:44:13,030 --> 00:44:14,130
Daily care?

1075
00:44:14,150 --> 00:44:16,000
Oh, you'd be
surprised.

1076
00:44:16,019 --> 00:44:17,110
[door opens]

1077
00:44:17,130 --> 00:44:19,070
Ah, Parson Banke.

1078
00:44:19,090 --> 00:44:23,119
Sad business.
Sad business.

1079
00:44:23,139 --> 00:44:25,039
This is the surviving
Collins family.

1080
00:44:25,059 --> 00:44:26,130
I'm Alice Collins.

1081
00:44:26,150 --> 00:44:28,090
Hi. I'm Daniel.

1082
00:44:28,110 --> 00:44:30,190
Daniel. Hi.

1083
00:44:30,210 --> 00:44:33,030
Hi.

1084
00:44:35,199 --> 00:44:39,099
They're mourning the loss
of their beloved Edmund.

1085
00:44:40,190 --> 00:44:42,150
Ah. Ah.

1086
00:44:45,090 --> 00:44:47,059
I didn't know Edmund

1087
00:44:47,079 --> 00:44:49,079
as well
as I should have.

1088
00:44:51,090 --> 00:44:53,159
Perhaps if we
had ever met...

1089
00:44:58,130 --> 00:45:00,110
Katie.

1090
00:45:00,130 --> 00:45:02,050
Katie. Katie.

1091
00:45:02,070 --> 00:45:04,159
Katie, Katie, Katie,
I'm sorry.

1092
00:45:04,179 --> 00:45:06,170
I'm sorry.

1093
00:45:06,190 --> 00:45:08,130
I don't want
anything that may

1094
00:45:08,150 --> 00:45:10,099
or may not have
happened between us

1095
00:45:10,119 --> 00:45:11,210
to affect
our friendship.

1096
00:45:13,199 --> 00:45:15,159
You mean that?

1097
00:45:15,179 --> 00:45:18,210
Yeah. I don't have
any friends like you.

1098
00:45:18,230 --> 00:45:20,110
So we'll be friends?

1099
00:45:20,130 --> 00:45:25,000
Yeah. Always were.
Right?

1100
00:45:26,199 --> 00:45:27,230
Thank you.

1101
00:45:37,079 --> 00:45:38,179
Well, I don't know
why everything

1102
00:45:38,199 --> 00:45:41,199
has to be such a production
with this family.

1103
00:45:41,219 --> 00:45:43,139
We didn't need
to buy one.

1104
00:45:43,159 --> 00:45:45,139
The basement's
loaded with boxes.

1105
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:47,099
You don't bring
your own, Mom.

1106
00:45:47,119 --> 00:45:49,170
But we did buy one.
We bought a box.

1107
00:45:49,190 --> 00:45:51,039
So it's over.

1108
00:45:51,059 --> 00:45:53,110
It looked more like
a shipping crate, but...

1109
00:45:53,130 --> 00:45:56,050
Your father would
have wanted a bag.

1110
00:45:56,070 --> 00:45:57,159
[dialing]

1111
00:45:57,179 --> 00:45:59,079
Look, could we just
try to act normal

1112
00:45:59,099 --> 00:46:00,219
for the next 2 days?

1113
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,079
Would that be
possible?

1114
00:46:02,099 --> 00:46:03,190
Does that include you,

1115
00:46:03,210 --> 00:46:05,159
or are you just telling
everybody else what to do?

1116
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:07,079
Look, don't cast me
in the role

1117
00:46:07,099 --> 00:46:08,170
of crazed control
freak, all right?

1118
00:46:08,190 --> 00:46:10,070
Then stop
auditioning for it.

1119
00:46:10,090 --> 00:46:11,219
I just
wanted to put

1120
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,159
my dead father
in a nice box.

1121
00:46:13,179 --> 00:46:15,070
You want to put
everyone in a box--

1122
00:46:15,090 --> 00:46:17,019
the ineffectual
mother box,

1123
00:46:17,039 --> 00:46:18,210
the struggling actor box.

1124
00:46:18,230 --> 00:46:20,179
People put
themselves in boxes.

1125
00:46:20,199 --> 00:46:22,050
I just label them.

1126
00:46:22,070 --> 00:46:25,070
Like the rebellious
teenage lesbian box

1127
00:46:25,090 --> 00:46:26,110
that you're still
stuck in at 35.

1128
00:46:26,130 --> 00:46:28,179
Stop it. Stop it!

1129
00:46:28,199 --> 00:46:29,190
Ladies.

1130
00:46:29,210 --> 00:46:31,110
Don't start
your shit with me!

1131
00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:33,110
Don't tell me
what not to say!

1132
00:46:33,130 --> 00:46:37,059
Aah! Something
is stuck to my tongue!

1133
00:46:46,050 --> 00:46:48,059
Try not to worry
so much.

1134
00:46:48,079 --> 00:46:51,019
Everything is gonna work out
for you kids.

1135
00:46:51,039 --> 00:46:54,170
And always remember
to brush before bed.

1136
00:46:58,210 --> 00:47:00,050
[screaming]

1137
00:47:02,230 --> 00:47:04,159
Uh, guys...

1138
00:47:04,179 --> 00:47:07,030
[P.A. announcements]

1139
00:47:07,050 --> 00:47:08,159
So, that was
really lucky.

1140
00:47:08,179 --> 00:47:10,199
You guys were
right there, hmm?

1141
00:47:10,219 --> 00:47:13,019
Yeah. Um...

1142
00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:15,199
It was lucky.

1143
00:47:15,219 --> 00:47:18,099
Um, you guys.

1144
00:47:18,119 --> 00:47:19,139
Sam.

1145
00:47:19,159 --> 00:47:20,210
Is she gonna
be all right?

1146
00:47:20,230 --> 00:47:22,159
Um, she's...she's
gonna be fine.

1147
00:47:22,179 --> 00:47:24,099
She snapped
a few bones,

1148
00:47:24,119 --> 00:47:27,059
mostly shoulder
and face,

1149
00:47:27,079 --> 00:47:28,150
a couple of ribs.

1150
00:47:28,170 --> 00:47:30,139
They slapped her
in a halfie.

1151
00:47:30,159 --> 00:47:32,059
Oh, well, that's
good, right?

1152
00:47:32,079 --> 00:47:33,190
Can we see her?

1153
00:47:33,210 --> 00:47:35,079
Not until she hardens,

1154
00:47:35,099 --> 00:47:37,119
and even then, it might not be
a great idea.

1155
00:47:37,139 --> 00:47:40,050
She might want to be
left alone,

1156
00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:43,090
because usually people
are kind of embarrassed

1157
00:47:43,110 --> 00:47:44,230
after an accident
like that.

1158
00:47:45,010 --> 00:47:47,000
It wasn't an accident.

1159
00:47:47,019 --> 00:47:49,130
Well, it is
what it is.

1160
00:47:49,150 --> 00:47:52,070
So, why don't you guys
go home,

1161
00:47:52,090 --> 00:47:54,090
and then I'll give you
an update

1162
00:47:54,110 --> 00:47:56,010
when I get off of work.

1163
00:47:56,030 --> 00:48:00,070
Did she say anything
before she jumped?

1164
00:48:00,090 --> 00:48:03,119
"Brush your teeth."

1165
00:48:03,139 --> 00:48:06,030
Oral hygiene freak.

1166
00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:08,019
Lucy: Shh!

1167
00:48:08,039 --> 00:48:10,199
I heard something.

1168
00:48:13,010 --> 00:48:16,150
Malice.

1169
00:48:16,170 --> 00:48:19,230
Yeah, what ever
happened to Alice?

1170
00:48:20,010 --> 00:48:23,030
Yeah. Who dumped her
in the bitch tank?

1171
00:48:23,050 --> 00:48:24,179
[laughter]

1172
00:48:24,199 --> 00:48:29,000
She wasn't like this
when we were kids.

1173
00:48:29,019 --> 00:48:32,059
Judy: Wait a second.
We're talking about Alice here?

1174
00:48:32,079 --> 00:48:36,170
Yeah. Alice was fun
and mischievous.

1175
00:48:36,190 --> 00:48:39,210
We're talking about
your sister Alice?

1176
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,050
Yeah.

1177
00:48:41,070 --> 00:48:44,050
We had a dress code
in high school.

1178
00:48:44,070 --> 00:48:47,190
We had to wear skirts,
blouses, little vests.

1179
00:48:47,210 --> 00:48:53,070
And Alice talked a bunch
of girls, maybe 20,

1180
00:48:53,090 --> 00:48:55,210
into protesting it,
so they come to school,

1181
00:48:55,230 --> 00:49:00,070
and they're wearing
jeans and hot pants,

1182
00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:02,039
and the headmaster
lost it.

1183
00:49:02,059 --> 00:49:05,190
He suspended them,
so the next week...

1184
00:49:13,190 --> 00:49:15,199
Next week?

1185
00:49:15,219 --> 00:49:17,119
What's next week?

1186
00:49:17,139 --> 00:49:18,219
Sweetie...

1187
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,019
[laughter]

1188
00:49:20,039 --> 00:49:21,190
You were
telling a story.

1189
00:49:21,210 --> 00:49:23,159
Yeah, you were
telling a story--

1190
00:49:23,179 --> 00:49:25,099
Alice and the dress code.

1191
00:49:26,219 --> 00:49:30,170
Oh, God. We had
a dress code in high school.

1192
00:49:30,190 --> 00:49:34,099
We had to wear
these little uniforms--

1193
00:49:34,119 --> 00:49:35,210
No, no.
We got this part.

1194
00:49:35,230 --> 00:49:39,210
With the...with blouses
and things like this.

1195
00:49:39,230 --> 00:49:44,079
And Alice talked a bunch
of girls, maybe 20--

1196
00:49:44,099 --> 00:49:45,159
Fast-forward.

1197
00:49:45,179 --> 00:49:47,210
And they come
to school

1198
00:49:47,230 --> 00:49:52,000
wearing hot pants
and jeans.

1199
00:49:52,019 --> 00:49:53,190
And so the next week,

1200
00:49:53,210 --> 00:49:58,119
they come to the school
wearing the uniform,

1201
00:49:58,139 --> 00:50:00,079
but they had crewcuts.

1202
00:50:00,099 --> 00:50:03,159
[both laughing]

1203
00:50:03,190 --> 00:50:05,190
You weave
quite a yarn.

1204
00:50:05,210 --> 00:50:08,210
No. She was my hero.
I'll have some.

1205
00:50:08,230 --> 00:50:12,179
You've had quite
enough, my darling.

1206
00:50:21,030 --> 00:50:24,019
I don't know if your
grandparents ever told you,

1207
00:50:24,039 --> 00:50:26,150
but I used to go up there
and hang out

1208
00:50:26,170 --> 00:50:28,110
when you weren't around,

1209
00:50:28,130 --> 00:50:32,050
till your grandfather
hit me with a rock.

1210
00:50:32,070 --> 00:50:34,050
Yeah.
You coming?

1211
00:50:37,219 --> 00:50:41,010
He said he thought
I was a crow.

1212
00:50:41,030 --> 00:50:44,019
I was not
his favorite person.

1213
00:50:51,170 --> 00:50:53,219
What am I gonna
say about him?

1214
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,150
What would you want
people to say about you?

1215
00:50:56,170 --> 00:50:59,000
What could you say
about me?

1216
00:51:01,119 --> 00:51:03,139
What would I say
about you?

1217
00:51:05,119 --> 00:51:09,219
When I die...
I want to be cremated.

1218
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,010
Oh, me, too.

1219
00:51:11,030 --> 00:51:12,099
Yeah, me, too.

1220
00:51:12,119 --> 00:51:13,219
I want you
to take my ashes,

1221
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,019
and I want you
to mix them with the ink

1222
00:51:16,039 --> 00:51:18,159
that the government uses
to print money.

1223
00:51:18,179 --> 00:51:19,230
[laughter]

1224
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,190
Yes. And then
I'll be everywhere.

1225
00:51:25,210 --> 00:51:28,159
[laughter]

1226
00:51:28,179 --> 00:51:29,230
Mom said that Dad

1227
00:51:30,010 --> 00:51:33,000
wants us to put him
in his little rowboat.

1228
00:51:33,019 --> 00:51:35,119
I'm not kidding.

1229
00:51:35,139 --> 00:51:37,159
And light it on fire

1230
00:51:37,179 --> 00:51:40,039
and launch him
out to sea.

1231
00:51:40,059 --> 00:51:43,050
Ha ha ha.

1232
00:51:43,070 --> 00:51:44,230
Good thing he didn't
want us to eat him.

1233
00:51:45,010 --> 00:51:48,070
You know what I would say
if he was here?

1234
00:51:48,090 --> 00:51:49,190
I would say, "Hey, Dad.

1235
00:51:49,210 --> 00:51:51,050
"Hey, Dad, you have
another kid.

1236
00:51:51,070 --> 00:51:52,179
"You have another kid.

1237
00:51:52,199 --> 00:51:55,099
Remember me?
Remember the Skipper?"

1238
00:51:55,119 --> 00:51:57,099
[deep voice]
"Oh, no. No.

1239
00:51:57,119 --> 00:51:59,219
"That's my boy.
That's my Danny boy.

1240
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,079
He's my boy,
my Danny boy."

1241
00:52:02,099 --> 00:52:06,030
Well, what about me?
Look what I can do.

1242
00:52:06,050 --> 00:52:09,039
Look what I stuck
to my face, Dad. Huh?

1243
00:52:09,059 --> 00:52:13,070
Can I be your boy?
Can I be your boy?

1244
00:52:13,090 --> 00:52:15,199
I'm right
in front of you!"

1245
00:52:19,230 --> 00:52:22,039
This is good shit.

1246
00:52:22,059 --> 00:52:23,230
Oh, yeah.

1247
00:52:25,179 --> 00:52:28,039
Oh, it's drizzling.

1248
00:52:28,059 --> 00:52:31,030
It's nice.

1249
00:52:31,050 --> 00:52:33,150
Yeah. Yeah.

1250
00:52:35,170 --> 00:52:37,159
You know, Sam,
thanks.

1251
00:52:37,179 --> 00:52:40,010
Thanks for helping
us so much.

1252
00:52:40,030 --> 00:52:42,000
Oh, anything
for you, Alice.

1253
00:52:42,019 --> 00:52:44,090
Oh, that's nice.
All right.

1254
00:52:44,110 --> 00:52:47,000
Do you want to hear
something really pretty?

1255
00:52:47,019 --> 00:52:49,079
A song. I've been
listening to it.

1256
00:52:49,099 --> 00:52:50,130
Yeah. OK.

1257
00:52:50,150 --> 00:52:52,059
On the way here.

1258
00:52:52,079 --> 00:52:53,170
I still think
this treehouse

1259
00:52:53,190 --> 00:52:55,179
needs
a second story.

1260
00:52:55,199 --> 00:52:58,179
That was one
of our better ideas.

1261
00:52:58,199 --> 00:53:02,219
Who knew...
that wood paneling

1262
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,030
wouldn't make
a solid floor?

1263
00:53:04,050 --> 00:53:06,050
You know.

1264
00:53:06,070 --> 00:53:07,139
Everybody.

1265
00:53:07,159 --> 00:53:09,030
Yeah, exactly.

1266
00:53:09,050 --> 00:53:10,190
And they kept
telling us.

1267
00:53:10,210 --> 00:53:12,130
Yeah.

1268
00:53:12,150 --> 00:53:14,130
We had a dream.

1269
00:53:14,150 --> 00:53:16,059
We did.

1270
00:53:16,079 --> 00:53:18,159
Ha ha ha.

1271
00:53:20,190 --> 00:53:22,110
I still dream
about you.

1272
00:53:25,110 --> 00:53:27,019
[light rain falling]

1273
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,179
[thunder]

1274
00:53:37,070 --> 00:53:39,030
[music playing on radio]

1275
00:53:39,050 --> 00:53:41,030
Hey, what ever happened
to that guy

1276
00:53:41,050 --> 00:53:44,059
that you were
going with in college?

1277
00:53:44,079 --> 00:53:48,010
Um...oh, nothing.

1278
00:53:48,030 --> 00:53:49,050
Mmm.

1279
00:53:50,199 --> 00:53:52,170
Hey, Alice.

1280
00:53:52,190 --> 00:53:54,130
You remember
when your father

1281
00:53:54,150 --> 00:53:57,030
walked in on us
in the basement?

1282
00:54:04,039 --> 00:54:06,010
Were we doing this?

1283
00:54:10,159 --> 00:54:12,030
Kind of.

1284
00:54:14,010 --> 00:54:16,139
Were we doing this?

1285
00:54:20,019 --> 00:54:23,139
Um...sort of.

1286
00:54:30,019 --> 00:54:33,039
♪ Come running to me ♪

1287
00:54:33,059 --> 00:54:35,119
♪ When things get
out of hand ♪

1288
00:54:35,139 --> 00:54:37,099
[thunder rumbling]

1289
00:54:37,119 --> 00:54:41,070
♪ Run into me ♪

1290
00:54:41,090 --> 00:54:43,190
♪ When it's more
than you can stand ♪

1291
00:54:43,210 --> 00:54:48,059
♪ I said I'm strong ♪

1292
00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:54,059
What are you guys
doing there?

1293
00:54:54,079 --> 00:54:55,199
Just looking.

1294
00:54:55,219 --> 00:54:57,130
He's fogging up
my window.

1295
00:54:57,150 --> 00:54:58,179
Stop.

1296
00:54:58,199 --> 00:55:00,000
What is that?

1297
00:55:08,210 --> 00:55:11,130
Ryan: We've got to
go inside. Come on.

1298
00:55:11,150 --> 00:55:13,219
Be careful.

1299
00:55:16,079 --> 00:55:18,079
What are you guys
looking at?

1300
00:55:18,099 --> 00:55:20,190
That's Samantha's car.

1301
00:55:20,210 --> 00:55:23,230
I love you guys.

1302
00:55:28,059 --> 00:55:30,090
Oh!

1303
00:55:30,110 --> 00:55:32,019
Aah!

1304
00:55:32,039 --> 00:55:34,199
[shouting]

1305
00:55:34,219 --> 00:55:36,139
[alarm clock buzzing]

1306
00:55:39,199 --> 00:55:41,070
[buzzing stops]

1307
00:55:53,010 --> 00:55:54,199
Good morning.

1308
00:55:54,219 --> 00:55:56,219
I...

1309
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,159
You...ha ha ha.

1310
00:55:59,179 --> 00:56:01,219
OK. Um...

1311
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,000
Is Alice up?

1312
00:56:09,050 --> 00:56:12,050
Are you leaving?

1313
00:56:14,150 --> 00:56:16,039
Yes.

1314
00:56:18,099 --> 00:56:19,159
OK.

1315
00:56:23,219 --> 00:56:25,030
Morning.

1316
00:56:25,050 --> 00:56:26,190
Morning.
Morning.

1317
00:56:26,210 --> 00:56:28,150
Where is she?

1318
00:56:28,170 --> 00:56:30,070
I don't know.

1319
00:56:30,090 --> 00:56:32,099
She didn't leave
with Samantha?

1320
00:56:32,119 --> 00:56:33,190
Morning.

1321
00:56:33,210 --> 00:56:35,030
Morning.
Morning.

1322
00:56:35,050 --> 00:56:36,150
Where's, uh...

1323
00:56:36,170 --> 00:56:37,230
We don't know.

1324
00:56:38,010 --> 00:56:39,130
Well, did she leave--

1325
00:56:39,150 --> 00:56:41,019
Skip: No, she didn't.

1326
00:56:41,039 --> 00:56:43,059
I saw her get out
of the car,

1327
00:56:43,079 --> 00:56:45,170
and I saw her
go towards the woods.

1328
00:56:48,039 --> 00:56:52,039
And then she just
became a...

1329
00:56:52,059 --> 00:56:55,070
tiny...screaming...

1330
00:56:55,090 --> 00:56:57,179
Katie: I'm sorry.

1331
00:56:57,199 --> 00:57:00,130
There are only 2 hours
before the funeral,

1332
00:57:00,150 --> 00:57:02,170
and I really need
some help here.

1333
00:57:02,190 --> 00:57:04,079
Skip: Are you
dressing up for this?

1334
00:57:04,099 --> 00:57:06,039
Hey, hey, hey,
you guys.

1335
00:57:06,059 --> 00:57:09,099
Could one of you
please tell me

1336
00:57:09,119 --> 00:57:15,090
one nice thing I can say
about your dead father?

1337
00:57:21,139 --> 00:57:24,170
He often called me
Andrea for no reason.

1338
00:57:26,119 --> 00:57:28,079
I was Barry.

1339
00:57:28,099 --> 00:57:29,219
Wait a minute.
What about...

1340
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,079
Remember
Thanksgiving,

1341
00:57:31,099 --> 00:57:34,110
and that crazy lady
broke in the house?

1342
00:57:34,130 --> 00:57:36,130
Yes, that woman
with the red hair.

1343
00:57:36,150 --> 00:57:38,139
Yep, yep,
and remember.

1344
00:57:38,159 --> 00:57:40,070
She took the leg
off a turkey

1345
00:57:40,090 --> 00:57:42,090
and started banging
it on the table

1346
00:57:42,110 --> 00:57:44,070
and screaming
something about Easter?

1347
00:57:44,090 --> 00:57:46,010
That's...Easter.
That's right.

1348
00:57:46,030 --> 00:57:47,139
You remember
how cool Dad was?

1349
00:57:47,159 --> 00:57:50,090
He leapt over the table,
swept her off her feet,

1350
00:57:50,110 --> 00:57:51,210
and carried her
out the front door.

1351
00:57:51,230 --> 00:57:54,079
"He protected us."

1352
00:57:55,210 --> 00:57:57,010
What else?

1353
00:57:57,030 --> 00:58:00,119
Why don't you...

1354
00:58:00,139 --> 00:58:03,090
read a passage

1355
00:58:03,110 --> 00:58:06,110
from Death
of a Salesman?

1356
00:58:06,130 --> 00:58:08,090
Ha.

1357
00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:11,079
I don't know any.

1358
00:58:11,099 --> 00:58:13,000
I do.

1359
00:58:13,019 --> 00:58:15,090
Put up your hands.
Goddamn you!

1360
00:58:15,110 --> 00:58:18,030
Put up your hands. Ha.

1361
00:58:20,170 --> 00:58:24,030
What do you think you are,
better than everybody else?

1362
00:58:24,050 --> 00:58:26,099
You don't know
everything!

1363
00:58:26,119 --> 00:58:29,139
You don't know, you big
ignorant, stupid...

1364
00:58:29,159 --> 00:58:33,110
Put...put up
your goddamn hands!

1365
00:58:33,130 --> 00:58:37,019
Put up your hands.
Attention must be paid.

1366
00:58:37,039 --> 00:58:38,219
[doorbell rings]

1367
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,219
You ratted on us!

1368
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,059
You ratted on us.

1369
00:58:42,079 --> 00:58:43,230
Skip: Shut up!

1370
00:58:44,010 --> 00:58:45,110
Hi, Katie.

1371
00:58:45,130 --> 00:58:47,219
Ryan.
How's your leg?

1372
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,019
It's...you know...

1373
00:58:50,039 --> 00:58:52,000
broken.

1374
00:58:52,019 --> 00:58:53,150
I'm sorry.

1375
00:58:53,170 --> 00:58:55,110
It's OK. Uh, here.

1376
00:58:58,070 --> 00:59:00,210
What's this?

1377
00:59:00,230 --> 00:59:02,010
The answer
to your question.

1378
00:59:02,030 --> 00:59:04,010
Could we go inside
and talk

1379
00:59:04,030 --> 00:59:06,099
before
you read that?

1380
00:59:06,119 --> 00:59:09,090
It's kind of...
crazy in there.

1381
00:59:09,110 --> 00:59:10,210
Could we maybe
meet tomorrow

1382
00:59:10,230 --> 00:59:13,139
before I go back
to school or something?

1383
00:59:13,159 --> 00:59:15,230
You don't
want me to...

1384
00:59:16,010 --> 00:59:18,139
come
to the funeral?

1385
00:59:18,159 --> 00:59:21,070
[sighs]

1386
00:59:24,090 --> 00:59:26,070
I'm gonna go.

1387
00:59:29,010 --> 00:59:31,110
Danny: Katie.

1388
00:59:31,130 --> 00:59:32,219
Katie.

1389
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,170
What?

1390
00:59:34,190 --> 00:59:36,130
Katie.

1391
00:59:36,150 --> 00:59:38,110
What?

1392
00:59:40,039 --> 00:59:41,170
Do you see
my cell phone?

1393
00:59:41,190 --> 00:59:42,199
No!

1394
00:59:42,219 --> 00:59:44,130
[beeping]

1395
00:59:44,150 --> 00:59:45,159
Uh!

1396
00:59:45,179 --> 00:59:47,010
I knew you'd
kill yourself

1397
00:59:47,030 --> 00:59:48,159
if you missed your
husband's funeral.

1398
00:59:48,179 --> 00:59:50,190
Mmm...mmm...mmm...

1399
00:59:50,210 --> 00:59:53,010
Of course they're
all gonna be there.

1400
00:59:53,030 --> 00:59:55,170
OK, you're ready.

1401
00:59:55,190 --> 00:59:57,090
Mmm!

1402
00:59:59,099 --> 01:00:01,099
OK, here we go.

1403
01:00:01,119 --> 01:00:02,199
Mmm...

1404
01:00:02,219 --> 01:00:04,000
Yeah, I am hurrying.

1405
01:00:04,019 --> 01:00:05,070
Nurse.

1406
01:00:05,090 --> 01:00:10,110
Uh, I just have to get her
down to x-ray stat.

1407
01:00:10,130 --> 01:00:12,179
I didn't order
any x-rays.

1408
01:00:12,199 --> 01:00:14,190
There.

1409
01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:16,190
And now...

1410
01:00:16,210 --> 01:00:18,179
[imitating drum roll]

1411
01:00:18,199 --> 01:00:20,119
Ta-da!

1412
01:00:20,139 --> 01:00:22,050
And for you,

1413
01:00:22,070 --> 01:00:25,170
a hat...

1414
01:00:25,190 --> 01:00:27,099
and...

1415
01:00:30,039 --> 01:00:33,059
It's a look. OK.

1416
01:00:33,079 --> 01:00:35,000
Let's run
some lights.

1417
01:00:36,170 --> 01:00:39,090
[organ playing softly]

1418
01:00:39,110 --> 01:00:41,010
Touch him.

1419
01:00:41,030 --> 01:00:42,130
You.

1420
01:00:42,150 --> 01:00:44,210
Looks like he's
gonna say something.

1421
01:00:44,230 --> 01:00:47,090
"Could somebody please
scratch my nose?"

1422
01:00:47,110 --> 01:00:49,039
[both laughing]

1423
01:00:51,059 --> 01:00:53,210
We're gonna need
more gas.

1424
01:00:53,230 --> 01:00:57,090
I definitely don't want
to do this twice.

1425
01:01:01,150 --> 01:01:03,079
I'm just asking
everyone

1426
01:01:03,099 --> 01:01:05,070
to stop at my office
after this.

1427
01:01:05,090 --> 01:01:07,000
It's on the way
to the lake.

1428
01:01:07,019 --> 01:01:08,130
Sure.

1429
01:01:08,150 --> 01:01:10,079
Katie, I'm
just asking--

1430
01:01:10,099 --> 01:01:12,179
Did you invite
any of his coworkers?

1431
01:01:12,199 --> 01:01:18,150
Well...your grandfather
was more of a family man.

1432
01:01:18,170 --> 01:01:20,139
So it's just us?

1433
01:01:20,159 --> 01:01:22,150
Well, where's
your grandmother?

1434
01:01:22,170 --> 01:01:24,070
You didn't hear?

1435
01:01:24,090 --> 01:01:25,099
Grandma.

1436
01:01:25,119 --> 01:01:27,030
What in the world
happened?

1437
01:01:27,050 --> 01:01:28,119
Are you OK?

1438
01:01:28,139 --> 01:01:30,050
Mmm...mmm...

1439
01:01:30,070 --> 01:01:32,210
She said
she's fine.

1440
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:34,139
Mmm...mmm...

1441
01:01:34,159 --> 01:01:36,139
She's happy
to be here.

1442
01:01:39,139 --> 01:01:41,210
I don't know.
He looks different to me.

1443
01:01:41,230 --> 01:01:43,110
[sighs]

1444
01:01:43,130 --> 01:01:47,230
It's hard to picture him
without a twinkle in his eye.

1445
01:01:49,190 --> 01:01:52,059
He really loved you.

1446
01:01:52,079 --> 01:01:53,230
He did.

1447
01:01:54,010 --> 01:01:57,000
[sighs]

1448
01:02:07,139 --> 01:02:11,190
Something stuck
to my tongue.

1449
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:21,150
Nice touch.

1450
01:02:26,079 --> 01:02:28,170
[Parson clears throat]

1451
01:02:28,190 --> 01:02:30,210
Bye, Dad.

1452
01:02:35,099 --> 01:02:37,170
[electronic feedback]

1453
01:02:48,030 --> 01:02:50,199
[crying softly]

1454
01:02:54,110 --> 01:02:56,070
Why...

1455
01:02:56,090 --> 01:03:00,010
do people have to die?

1456
01:03:00,030 --> 01:03:02,170
[sighs]

1457
01:03:07,099 --> 01:03:09,059
I...

1458
01:03:09,079 --> 01:03:13,070
I...I, uh...

1459
01:03:13,090 --> 01:03:16,070
My uncle died recently.

1460
01:03:18,150 --> 01:03:21,099
He was really...
really the one who...

1461
01:03:24,119 --> 01:03:26,050
rai...

1462
01:03:26,070 --> 01:03:28,079
He raised me.

1463
01:03:28,099 --> 01:03:30,139
[sobbing]

1464
01:03:30,159 --> 01:03:34,010
Jimmy. Jimmy.
Uncle Jimmy.

1465
01:03:34,030 --> 01:03:36,039
Jiminy Cricket.

1466
01:03:36,059 --> 01:03:38,050
[stammering incoherently]

1467
01:03:51,179 --> 01:03:52,170
[playing piano]

1468
01:03:52,190 --> 01:03:58,150
♪ I am not in love ♪

1469
01:03:58,170 --> 01:04:04,039
♪ But I'm open
to persuasion ♪

1470
01:04:06,119 --> 01:04:09,159
♪ East or west ♪

1471
01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:12,119
♪ Where's the best ♪

1472
01:04:12,139 --> 01:04:14,199
♪ For romancing? ♪

1473
01:04:14,219 --> 01:04:17,159
Lucy: This is bullshit.

1474
01:04:17,179 --> 01:04:19,059
No. I'm sorry.
Screw her.

1475
01:04:19,079 --> 01:04:20,139
Come on, Luce.

1476
01:04:20,159 --> 01:04:22,130
No. She has made a business
out of persecuting me.

1477
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:25,010
And I'm supposed to sit here
at my father's funeral

1478
01:04:25,030 --> 01:04:26,199
and watch her
fuck-sing at Samantha?

1479
01:04:26,219 --> 01:04:28,059
Screw that.

1480
01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:31,050
[Alice singing]

1481
01:04:31,070 --> 01:04:33,110
Jesus, Luce!

1482
01:04:33,130 --> 01:04:37,010
What is wrong
with this family?

1483
01:04:37,030 --> 01:04:38,139
Well...

1484
01:04:38,159 --> 01:04:40,039
I hadn't heard
Alice sing

1485
01:04:40,059 --> 01:04:41,190
since you were
a baby.

1486
01:04:43,230 --> 01:04:46,210
She had a little trouble
with the high notes.

1487
01:04:46,230 --> 01:04:49,059
Is it too much to ask
that we bury my grandfather

1488
01:04:49,079 --> 01:04:52,070
with a little honor
and dignity?

1489
01:04:52,090 --> 01:04:54,199
I think it is,
sweetie, yeah.

1490
01:04:56,210 --> 01:04:59,090
Lance: You all know
how I felt about him.

1491
01:04:59,110 --> 01:05:02,099
He was somebody
I considered to be

1492
01:05:02,119 --> 01:05:05,090
a very close
personal friend.

1493
01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:09,190
I have here
his last will and testament.

1494
01:05:11,099 --> 01:05:15,070
He leaves his house
at 132 Rolling Drive

1495
01:05:15,090 --> 01:05:18,170
to his beloved wife Charlotte.

1496
01:05:18,190 --> 01:05:23,219
He leaves $1,000 cash
to Kate for expenses.

1497
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,050
He also left
a videotape

1498
01:05:26,070 --> 01:05:29,039
that he instructed me
to play for you.

1499
01:05:29,059 --> 01:05:30,210
What about
his money?

1500
01:05:30,230 --> 01:05:34,079
He had no other assets.
I'm sorry.

1501
01:05:34,099 --> 01:05:36,050
You're sorry?

1502
01:05:36,070 --> 01:05:40,230
Hello, everybody.
Surprise!

1503
01:05:41,010 --> 01:05:42,079
[sighs]

1504
01:05:42,099 --> 01:05:43,179
Ha ha ha!

1505
01:05:43,199 --> 01:05:46,190
Before I leave,
I just want to say good-bye

1506
01:05:46,210 --> 01:05:49,119
and say a few
other things as well.

1507
01:05:49,139 --> 01:05:51,230
First, I'm not
a salesman.

1508
01:05:52,010 --> 01:05:55,190
Hell, I couldn't sell
nose plugs to a proctologist.

1509
01:05:55,210 --> 01:05:57,139
I never did a day's work
in my life.

1510
01:05:57,159 --> 01:05:58,230
I never knew
how to do anything,

1511
01:05:59,010 --> 01:06:01,039
except a little
acting maybe.

1512
01:06:01,059 --> 01:06:05,050
That's where my Danny boy
got it from.

1513
01:06:05,070 --> 01:06:10,090
There's something stuck
to my tongue, too.

1514
01:06:10,110 --> 01:06:15,179
Of course, Jerry was the one
with the film career.

1515
01:06:15,199 --> 01:06:19,090
What I'm trying
to tell you is...

1516
01:06:19,110 --> 01:06:22,039
there were 3 of you.

1517
01:06:22,059 --> 01:06:23,210
He always
forgets me.

1518
01:06:23,230 --> 01:06:25,210
One in Rhode Island,

1519
01:06:25,230 --> 01:06:29,199
one in Mexico,
and one in South Carolina.

1520
01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:31,079
Ha ha ha!

1521
01:06:31,099 --> 01:06:35,039
If you think raising 3 families
is a lot of work,

1522
01:06:35,059 --> 01:06:37,099
you try doing it

1523
01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:40,070
without letting them
find out about each other.

1524
01:06:40,090 --> 01:06:42,000
Oh, that's a killer.

1525
01:06:42,019 --> 01:06:44,119
Talk about leaking money.

1526
01:06:44,139 --> 01:06:47,019
Ooh, when I was 20,

1527
01:06:47,039 --> 01:06:49,210
I inherited millions,

1528
01:06:49,230 --> 01:06:55,139
and now...I'm up
to my prostate in debt.

1529
01:06:55,159 --> 01:06:59,139
Ha ha! It was
a crazy life,

1530
01:06:59,159 --> 01:07:02,019
but I loved it...

1531
01:07:02,039 --> 01:07:04,030
because I love
my 3 wonderful wives

1532
01:07:04,050 --> 01:07:06,150
and my 9 precious--

1533
01:07:06,170 --> 01:07:08,000
Lance on videotape: 11.

1534
01:07:08,019 --> 01:07:09,019
11?

1535
01:07:09,039 --> 01:07:12,130
[laughing]

1536
01:07:12,150 --> 01:07:15,090
11 children? My God.

1537
01:07:15,110 --> 01:07:17,130
No wonder I couldn't get
your names straight.

1538
01:07:17,150 --> 01:07:20,119
Anyway, I've had
a great life.

1539
01:07:20,139 --> 01:07:21,170
Mmm!

1540
01:07:21,190 --> 01:07:24,139
A full life...

1541
01:07:24,159 --> 01:07:26,139
3 full lives.

1542
01:07:26,159 --> 01:07:28,130
You should all be
so lucky.

1543
01:07:28,150 --> 01:07:31,030
Katie Collins,
I'd like you to find

1544
01:07:31,050 --> 01:07:34,110
my other 2 families

1545
01:07:34,130 --> 01:07:38,230
and inform them
of their loss.

1546
01:07:39,010 --> 01:07:40,110
Mmm!

1547
01:07:40,130 --> 01:07:43,150
Remember, I was just
as big a part of their families

1548
01:07:43,170 --> 01:07:46,090
as I was of yours.

1549
01:07:46,110 --> 01:07:49,159
If I've learned anything,
it's to be true to yourself.

1550
01:07:49,179 --> 01:07:51,010
Lookit.

1551
01:07:51,030 --> 01:07:53,190
He clocked them.

1552
01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:55,219
All the way
from the grave.

1553
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,230
All this time, I thought
you were his favorite.

1554
01:08:02,039 --> 01:08:04,219
Well, I mean, you were
his favorite one of us.

1555
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:08,059
We could have been
his second-favorite family.

1556
01:08:08,079 --> 01:08:11,199
I left something
in the...

1557
01:08:13,179 --> 01:08:16,050
We could have been
his third.

1558
01:08:22,010 --> 01:08:24,000
Congratulations
on the thousand bucks.

1559
01:08:24,020 --> 01:08:26,119
Thanks.

1560
01:08:33,119 --> 01:08:37,060
What makes you think
they know what they're doing?

1561
01:08:37,079 --> 01:08:39,220
This is actually the kind
of stuff they're good at.

1562
01:08:43,180 --> 01:08:46,020
Maybe we should watch
from over there.

1563
01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:47,090
Yeah.

1564
01:08:56,220 --> 01:09:01,170
♪ Love is but a song
we're singing ♪

1565
01:09:01,189 --> 01:09:04,180
♪ Fear's the way we die ♪

1566
01:09:04,199 --> 01:09:06,060
[coughs]

1567
01:09:06,079 --> 01:09:09,130
I never knew.

1568
01:09:09,149 --> 01:09:11,159
None of us did.

1569
01:09:11,180 --> 01:09:13,199
No. I mean,
I knew your family

1570
01:09:13,220 --> 01:09:17,029
was, you know...
a little...

1571
01:09:17,050 --> 01:09:20,229
But I had no idea.

1572
01:09:21,010 --> 01:09:24,000
♪ Though the bird
is on the wing ♪

1573
01:09:24,020 --> 01:09:27,010
♪ And you may not
know why ♪

1574
01:09:27,029 --> 01:09:28,159
You know, Sam,
I think

1575
01:09:28,180 --> 01:09:30,010
I'll catch up
with you later.

1576
01:09:30,029 --> 01:09:31,170
I'm gonna
have a word

1577
01:09:31,189 --> 01:09:33,050
with my brother
there.

1578
01:09:33,069 --> 01:09:34,159
OK.

1579
01:09:34,180 --> 01:09:37,010
♪ Everybody
get together ♪

1580
01:09:37,029 --> 01:09:41,090
♪ Try to love one another
right now ♪

1581
01:09:41,109 --> 01:09:43,140
Dad, a little
assistance.

1582
01:09:43,159 --> 01:09:46,189
Listen, guys...

1583
01:09:46,210 --> 01:09:50,130
My pop never told me...

1584
01:09:50,149 --> 01:09:53,010
He never told me...

1585
01:09:55,010 --> 01:09:56,100
how much he--

1586
01:09:56,119 --> 01:09:58,020
Don't.

1587
01:09:58,039 --> 01:09:59,229
What?

1588
01:10:00,010 --> 01:10:02,050
You were gonna
say the "L" word.

1589
01:10:02,069 --> 01:10:04,020
I just want you
to know--

1590
01:10:04,039 --> 01:10:06,029
Dad, we know
how you feel.

1591
01:10:06,050 --> 01:10:08,029
Don't cheapen it
with words.

1592
01:10:08,050 --> 01:10:11,039
I don't want to be
like him.

1593
01:10:11,060 --> 01:10:13,140
So leave us
better instructions.

1594
01:10:13,159 --> 01:10:17,079
Now, could you
push?

1595
01:10:18,229 --> 01:10:20,149
I love you guys.

1596
01:10:20,170 --> 01:10:22,020
Dad!
Dad!

1597
01:10:22,039 --> 01:10:25,020
I know. It felt weird,
but I did it.

1598
01:10:25,039 --> 01:10:27,020
The fuse!

1599
01:10:30,159 --> 01:10:32,090
Oh, great.

1600
01:10:32,109 --> 01:10:35,029
No worries.
We came prepared.

1601
01:10:40,069 --> 01:10:42,140
Oh, great.

1602
01:10:42,159 --> 01:10:44,029
[inhaling deeply]

1603
01:10:46,039 --> 01:10:49,220
Hey, do you remember
Harry Barnes?

1604
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:51,159
Don't give me crap
about that.

1605
01:10:51,180 --> 01:10:53,180
I'm not in the mood.
I don't want to--

1606
01:10:53,199 --> 01:10:55,149
I'm not giving you
crap about it.

1607
01:10:55,170 --> 01:10:57,029
You remember him,
right?

1608
01:10:57,050 --> 01:10:59,039
How could I forget him?
He tortured you.

1609
01:10:59,060 --> 01:11:01,130
"Hey, here comes
peanut butter boy..."

1610
01:11:01,149 --> 01:11:04,000
or crunchy-munchy face
or roasted-toasted...

1611
01:11:04,020 --> 01:11:06,210
Yeah, I know.
I just...I wanted...

1612
01:11:06,229 --> 01:11:08,050
What?

1613
01:11:08,069 --> 01:11:10,000
I just wanted
to thank you.

1614
01:11:10,020 --> 01:11:12,029
I just want to
thank you for that.

1615
01:11:12,050 --> 01:11:16,069
Thank you for
looking after us,

1616
01:11:16,090 --> 01:11:18,210
protecting us.

1617
01:11:18,229 --> 01:11:20,039
Really.

1618
01:11:23,130 --> 01:11:24,140
[inhaling]

1619
01:11:27,060 --> 01:11:29,020
He had a glass jaw.

1620
01:11:29,039 --> 01:11:30,060
[laughing]

1621
01:11:30,079 --> 01:11:31,199
What? He did.

1622
01:11:31,220 --> 01:11:33,060
Glass jaw.

1623
01:11:33,079 --> 01:11:34,189
He did.

1624
01:11:34,210 --> 01:11:36,069
You clobbered
that kid.

1625
01:11:36,090 --> 01:11:37,130
No.

1626
01:11:37,149 --> 01:11:39,010
Yes. You had

1627
01:11:39,029 --> 01:11:41,079
an unbelievable
right hand, Alice.

1628
01:11:41,100 --> 01:11:43,060
Alice, please.

1629
01:11:43,079 --> 01:11:45,079
You dropped
that boy.

1630
01:11:45,100 --> 01:11:47,079
You did. You--

1631
01:11:47,100 --> 01:11:48,220
Ha ha ha!

1632
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:50,079
Ow. That...

1633
01:11:50,100 --> 01:11:51,119
Ow!

1634
01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:54,079
I hope
you hurt yourself.

1635
01:11:54,100 --> 01:11:56,210
That really hurt.

1636
01:11:56,229 --> 01:11:58,050
I can't remem--

1637
01:11:58,069 --> 01:11:59,229
When was
the last time

1638
01:12:00,010 --> 01:12:03,079
that the 2 of us just
hung out like this?

1639
01:12:03,100 --> 01:12:05,029
I can't remember.

1640
01:12:11,180 --> 01:12:13,199
Lucy...I think

1641
01:12:13,220 --> 01:12:17,010
you owe your sister
a big apology.

1642
01:12:17,029 --> 01:12:19,060
I don't have
a sister.

1643
01:12:26,149 --> 01:12:29,140
Did we miss
anything?

1644
01:12:29,159 --> 01:12:32,140
There's nothing
left to say.

1645
01:12:32,159 --> 01:12:34,159
He ended it all.

1646
01:12:37,119 --> 01:12:40,060
Well, let me see
what you got here.

1647
01:12:40,079 --> 01:12:42,170
You want a Twizzler?
You sure?

1648
01:12:42,189 --> 01:12:44,050
Mm-hmm.

1649
01:12:46,079 --> 01:12:49,090
I can remember the day
that you were born.

1650
01:12:49,109 --> 01:12:52,210
I can. I remember
the doctor coming in

1651
01:12:52,229 --> 01:12:55,010
and saying,
"It's a girl."

1652
01:12:55,029 --> 01:12:58,170
I thought, "Finally,
a baby sister.

1653
01:12:58,189 --> 01:13:02,119
I'm gonna have a friend
for the rest of my life."

1654
01:13:02,140 --> 01:13:04,069
Friend?

1655
01:13:07,140 --> 01:13:10,079
You've been making me
feel bad about myself

1656
01:13:10,100 --> 01:13:13,130
for the past 15 years.

1657
01:13:13,149 --> 01:13:17,159
I know. It wasn't
about you.

1658
01:13:17,180 --> 01:13:21,079
Oh, I was there.
It was all about me.

1659
01:13:22,220 --> 01:13:26,220
Well, maybe I thought
I was helping you.

1660
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:29,079
Maybe you
didn't think.

1661
01:13:33,010 --> 01:13:35,020
All right.

1662
01:13:38,039 --> 01:13:41,140
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Lucy.

1663
01:13:41,159 --> 01:13:44,180
I'm so sorry.

1664
01:13:44,199 --> 01:13:47,050
For what?

1665
01:13:47,069 --> 01:13:50,220
For not being
there for you,

1666
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,199
for not being
on your side.

1667
01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:57,170
That's...I wasn't
on your side.

1668
01:13:57,189 --> 01:14:01,039
Yeah. Well...

1669
01:14:10,069 --> 01:14:11,130
Dad?

1670
01:14:11,149 --> 01:14:13,000
You ready,
sweetie?

1671
01:14:13,020 --> 01:14:14,159
No.

1672
01:14:14,180 --> 01:14:17,069
There's a lot
of good stuff here.

1673
01:14:17,090 --> 01:14:20,069
You know, just maybe
skip the part

1674
01:14:20,090 --> 01:14:23,220
about him being a
salesman, you know.

1675
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,119
You ready?

1676
01:14:25,140 --> 01:14:26,199
No.

1677
01:14:26,220 --> 01:14:28,210
Uh, everybody.
Can we gather?

1678
01:14:28,229 --> 01:14:32,170
Katie's going to honor
what's left of our father

1679
01:14:32,189 --> 01:14:34,220
with a eulogy.

1680
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:36,180
Dad, lighter.

1681
01:14:36,199 --> 01:14:40,020
Be careful, guys.
I love this lighter.

1682
01:14:42,069 --> 01:14:44,050
We don't have
a bagpipe player.

1683
01:14:44,069 --> 01:14:46,039
We know
the words.

1684
01:14:48,050 --> 01:14:49,180
[twins imitating bagpipes]

1685
01:14:59,050 --> 01:15:01,170
how many laws you suppose
we're breaking here?

1686
01:15:01,189 --> 01:15:04,000
Yeah, I should be
preparing a defense.

1687
01:15:08,210 --> 01:15:11,220
Um...we have gathered
here today

1688
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:17,189
to honor my, uh...
grandfather, Edmund Collins--

1689
01:15:17,210 --> 01:15:19,079
Shut it.

1690
01:15:19,100 --> 01:15:21,140
[twins stop
imitating bagpipes]

1691
01:15:21,159 --> 01:15:25,100
Edmund was more
than just a great father.

1692
01:15:25,119 --> 01:15:29,010
He was a great...guy.

1693
01:15:29,029 --> 01:15:30,199
Use your aim,
guys.

1694
01:15:30,220 --> 01:15:33,229
Grandpa had
the playful habit

1695
01:15:34,010 --> 01:15:36,199
of showering us
with unusual nicknames.

1696
01:15:36,220 --> 01:15:42,119
Grandpa protected us
while he was off...

1697
01:15:42,140 --> 01:15:44,229
[laughs]

1698
01:15:45,010 --> 01:15:48,170
And even though
he wasn't always around,

1699
01:15:48,189 --> 01:15:50,220
let's face it,
more than anything,

1700
01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:54,130
my grandfather was
a family man.

1701
01:15:54,149 --> 01:15:55,229
[Alice laughing]

1702
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:57,140
Sorry.

1703
01:15:57,159 --> 01:15:59,119
[all laughing]

1704
01:16:01,060 --> 01:16:03,069
Move me over there.

1705
01:16:05,039 --> 01:16:07,119
Ha ha ha.
What's so funny?

1706
01:16:07,140 --> 01:16:09,149
Your father's dead.

1707
01:16:09,170 --> 01:16:12,140
Maybe he wasn't the man
we all thought he was,

1708
01:16:12,159 --> 01:16:14,180
but he's the reason
we're all here.

1709
01:16:14,199 --> 01:16:19,130
So...go ahead and laugh.

1710
01:16:19,149 --> 01:16:21,220
He made me laugh.

1711
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:23,100
Just remember,

1712
01:16:23,119 --> 01:16:25,100
this is the last
chance you have

1713
01:16:25,119 --> 01:16:28,130
to say good-bye
to your father.

1714
01:16:28,149 --> 01:16:30,229
Katie, I gave you
a job to do.

1715
01:16:31,010 --> 01:16:32,109
Get over here.

1716
01:16:32,130 --> 01:16:34,170
And just speak
from your heart.

1717
01:16:34,189 --> 01:16:37,159
[arrows continue
splashing]

1718
01:16:37,180 --> 01:16:39,220
All right, Katie.

1719
01:17:00,109 --> 01:17:03,100
"Did you really
leave me again?

1720
01:17:03,119 --> 01:17:07,119
"After all the seasons
I spent waiting,

1721
01:17:07,140 --> 01:17:11,050
"watching
out the window,

1722
01:17:11,069 --> 01:17:13,109
"listening at the door,

1723
01:17:13,130 --> 01:17:16,130
"waiting for the news
of your return,

1724
01:17:16,149 --> 01:17:19,130
"for the news
that you realized

1725
01:17:19,149 --> 01:17:23,079
"that someone important
was waiting for you?

1726
01:17:23,100 --> 01:17:27,170
"A whole lifetime
I've been waiting.

1727
01:17:27,189 --> 01:17:31,079
"I can't believe
you're not coming back.

1728
01:17:31,100 --> 01:17:35,069
"I can't believe I'm supposed
to stop waiting.

1729
01:17:35,090 --> 01:17:38,130
I can't believe
you left me again."

1730
01:17:47,130 --> 01:17:51,020
Grandpa didn't leave
because of you.

1731
01:17:51,039 --> 01:17:54,180
It was because of you
that he kept coming back.

1732
01:17:54,199 --> 01:17:58,050
I hope you all
realize that.

1733
01:18:05,229 --> 01:18:07,029
[thud]

1734
01:18:07,050 --> 01:18:09,050
Skip: Nice.

1735
01:18:19,189 --> 01:18:24,050
♪ Papa was
a rolling stone ♪

1736
01:18:24,069 --> 01:18:28,039
♪ Wherever he laid his hat
was his home ♪

1737
01:18:28,060 --> 01:18:31,000
♪ And when he died ♪

1738
01:18:31,020 --> 01:18:33,000
♪ All he left-- ♪

1739
01:18:58,159 --> 01:19:01,149
So, after it stopped
raining Grandpa,

1740
01:19:01,170 --> 01:19:04,180
I caught a ride here.

1741
01:19:04,199 --> 01:19:06,149
[sniffling]

1742
01:19:06,170 --> 01:19:09,060
I'm so honored
and touched.

1743
01:19:09,079 --> 01:19:11,189
Thank you for
sharing that with me.

1744
01:19:11,210 --> 01:19:13,069
I'm sorry.

1745
01:19:13,090 --> 01:19:15,069
I had no idea.

1746
01:19:15,090 --> 01:19:18,170
No wonder Edmund
was gone so often.

1747
01:19:18,189 --> 01:19:21,170
It's hard to believe.
It really is.

1748
01:19:23,210 --> 01:19:25,199
Poor Barbara.

1749
01:19:27,210 --> 01:19:29,039
What do you mean?

1750
01:19:29,060 --> 01:19:32,069
I don't know
what to say.

1751
01:19:32,090 --> 01:19:34,010
You're not Barbara?

1752
01:19:34,029 --> 01:19:37,229
Edmund was the best
neighbor I ever had.

1753
01:19:38,010 --> 01:19:39,170
[crying]

1754
01:19:53,119 --> 01:19:56,180
Rod Stewart: ♪ Crying ♪

1755
01:19:56,199 --> 01:19:58,199
How'd it go?

1756
01:19:58,220 --> 01:20:00,180
Oh...

1757
01:20:00,199 --> 01:20:04,180
Pretty well, I guess.

1758
01:20:04,199 --> 01:20:06,180
I was starting
to think maybe

1759
01:20:06,199 --> 01:20:08,050
you ducked out
the back on me

1760
01:20:08,069 --> 01:20:09,180
or something.

1761
01:20:09,199 --> 01:20:12,079
Ha ha ha!

1762
01:20:15,100 --> 01:20:19,140
♪ That's why I ♪

1763
01:20:19,159 --> 01:20:22,210
♪ I don't cry ♪

1764
01:20:25,210 --> 01:20:28,069
♪ Laughing ♪

1765
01:20:30,010 --> 01:20:34,119
♪ Laughing sometimes does
somebody some good somehow ♪

1766
01:20:34,140 --> 01:20:36,079
♪ Somehow ♪

1767
01:20:36,100 --> 01:20:38,069
Wait. Stop the car
for a second.

1768
01:20:38,090 --> 01:20:42,149
♪ That's why I ♪

1769
01:20:42,170 --> 01:20:46,199
♪ I'm laughing now ♪

1770
01:20:46,220 --> 01:20:49,100
♪ That's why I... ♪

1771
01:20:49,119 --> 01:20:51,119
I'll explain
on the way.

1772
01:20:51,140 --> 01:20:54,039
♪ I'm laughing now ♪

1773
01:20:56,079 --> 01:20:58,189
♪ Loving ♪

1774
01:21:00,229 --> 01:21:05,010
♪ Loving never did me
no good nohow ♪

1775
01:21:05,029 --> 01:21:07,029
♪ Nohow ♪

1776
01:21:09,010 --> 01:21:11,210
♪ That's why I ♪

1777
01:21:11,229 --> 01:21:15,180
♪ Can't love you now ♪

1778
01:21:17,199 --> 01:21:21,189
♪ That's why I ♪

1779
01:21:21,210 --> 01:21:24,090
♪ Can't love you now ♪

1780
01:21:24,109 --> 01:21:30,050
"This tape will explain
what this note cannot."

1781
01:21:37,100 --> 01:21:40,029
[gunshots]

1782
01:21:40,050 --> 01:21:42,109
"Vag...in...

1783
01:21:42,130 --> 01:21:44,140
a...Town."

1784
01:21:44,159 --> 01:21:47,189
What's a vag?

1785
01:21:49,220 --> 01:21:53,189
♪ You know I've never been
much like you ♪

1786
01:21:55,130 --> 01:22:00,060
♪ And so whatever, I guess
we just can't compare the 2 ♪

1787
01:22:00,079 --> 01:22:05,039
♪ And so you got to stay
tried and true ♪

1788
01:22:05,060 --> 01:22:10,039
♪ Stick around for now,
it's gonna be all right ♪

1789
01:22:10,060 --> 01:22:15,119
♪ You've got the grace,
and I've got the time ♪

1790
01:22:15,140 --> 01:22:20,119
♪ You call me
your revelation ♪

1791
01:22:20,140 --> 01:22:25,189
♪ Hold me
in anticipation ♪

1792
01:22:25,210 --> 01:22:30,069
♪ And all I got
is a fascination ♪

1793
01:22:30,090 --> 01:22:33,199
♪ For you ♪

1794
01:22:37,020 --> 01:22:40,000
♪ I guess I kind of
got lost in myself ♪

1795
01:22:42,020 --> 01:22:43,140
♪ And what's ahead of me
is better ♪

1796
01:22:43,159 --> 01:22:47,109
♪ But it's not for me
to tell ♪

1797
01:22:47,130 --> 01:22:52,010
♪ I got a feeling
it's just as well ♪

1798
01:22:52,029 --> 01:22:57,010
♪ Take a ride,
is what you see inside OK? ♪

1799
01:22:57,029 --> 01:23:02,010
♪ And everything shines
in the light of the day ♪

1800
01:23:02,029 --> 01:23:06,229
♪ You call me
your revelation ♪

1801
01:23:07,010 --> 01:23:12,210
♪ For you ♪

1802
01:23:15,010 --> 01:23:17,000
[applause]

1803
01:23:17,020 --> 01:23:21,159
Alice: So, I think
that brings us to the toasts,

1804
01:23:21,180 --> 01:23:23,210
and I think we should
toast my sister

1805
01:23:23,229 --> 01:23:25,189
and my new sister-in-law.

1806
01:23:25,210 --> 01:23:31,020
So I think the lovely
and articulate Simon

1807
01:23:31,039 --> 01:23:32,100
will do the honors, right?

1808
01:23:32,119 --> 01:23:33,159
Skip: Big Skip.

1809
01:23:33,180 --> 01:23:37,010
Big Skip.
Well, come and prove it.

1810
01:23:37,029 --> 01:23:38,229
[applause]

1811
01:23:40,159 --> 01:23:42,140
Thank you. Thank you.

1812
01:23:42,159 --> 01:23:45,020
Well, here they are.

1813
01:23:45,039 --> 01:23:47,220
We're here for these
2 lovely ladies

1814
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,199
on this momentous occasion.

1815
01:23:50,220 --> 01:23:54,010
And we're all
happy for them.

1816
01:23:54,029 --> 01:23:57,050
Oh. Oh, I have a perfect joke
for tonight. Yes, I do.

1817
01:23:57,069 --> 01:23:59,090
It's not dirty.
It's not a dirty joke!

1818
01:23:59,109 --> 01:24:02,220
It's not a dirty joke.
Just let people have--

1819
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:05,010
It's a simple joke.

1820
01:24:05,029 --> 01:24:08,000
These 2 gym teachers
walk into a hardware store--

1821
01:24:08,020 --> 01:24:10,000
That's it.
All right.

1822
01:24:10,020 --> 01:24:11,229
[electronic feedback]

1823
01:24:12,010 --> 01:24:14,229
♪ You call me
your revelation ♪

1824
01:24:15,010 --> 01:24:20,079
♪ Hold me
in anticipation ♪

1825
01:24:20,100 --> 01:24:24,189
♪ And all I got
is a fascination ♪

1826
01:24:24,210 --> 01:24:29,140
♪ For you ♪

1827
01:24:29,159 --> 01:24:30,220
♪ For you ♪

1828
01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:35,220
♪ You call me
your revelation ♪

1829
01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:40,210
♪ Hold me
in anticipation ♪

1830
01:24:40,229 --> 01:24:45,140
♪ And all I got
is a fascination ♪

1831
01:24:45,159 --> 01:24:50,159
♪ For you ♪

1832
01:24:50,180 --> 01:24:53,189
♪ For you ♪