STEPHEN BAXTER
HUDDLE
HIS BIRTH WAS VIOLENT. He was expelled from warm red-dark into black
and white
and cold, a cold that dug into his flesh immediately.
He hit a hard white surface
and roiled onto his back.
He tried to lift his head. He found himself inside a little fat
body, gray fur
soaked in a ruddy liquid that was already freezing.
Above him there was a
deep violet-blue speckled with points of light, and two
gray discs. Moons. The word came
from nowhere, into his head. Moons, two of
them.
There were people with him, on this
surface. Shapeless mounds of fat and fur
that towered over him. Mother. One of them was his
mother. She was speaking to
him, gentle wordless murmurs.
He opened his mouth, found it
clogged. He spat. Air rushed into his lungs, cold,
piercing.
Tenderly his mother licked
mucus off his face.
But now the great wind howled across the ice, unimpeded. It grew dark.
A flurry
of snow fell across him.
His mother grabbed him and tucked him into a fold of skin
under her belly. He
crawled onto her broad feet, to get off the ice. There was bare skin
here, thick
with blood vessels, and he snuggled against its heat gratefully. And there was
a
nipple, from which he could suckle.
He could feel the press of other people around his
mother, adding their warmth.
He slept, woke, fed, slept again, barely disturbed by his
mother's shuffling
movements.
The sharp urgency of the cold dissipated, and time dissolved.
He could hear his mother's voice, booming through her big belly. She spoke to
him,
murmuring; and, gradually, he learned to reply, his own small voice piping
against the vast
warmth of her stomach. She told him her name -- No-Sun -- and
she told him about the world:
people and ice and rock and food. "Three winters:
one to grow, one to birth, one to die..."
Birth, sex and death. The world, it
seemed, was a simple place.
The cold and wind went on,
unrelenting. Perhaps it would go on forever.
She told him stories, about human beings.
"...We
survived the Collision," she said. "We are surviving now. Our purpose is
to help others. We
will never die..." Over and over.
To help others. It was good to have a purpose, he
thought. It lifted him out of
the dull ache of the cold, that reached him even here.
He
slept as much as he could.
No-Sun pulled her broad feet out from under him, dumping him
onto the hard ice.
It was like a second birth. The ice was dazzling white, blinding him.
Spring.
The sun was low to his right, its light hard and flat, and the sky was a deep
blue-black
over a landscape of rock and scattered scraps of ice. On the other
horizon, he saw, the
land tilted up to a range of mountains, tall, blood-red in
the light of the sun. The
mountains were to the west of here, the way the sun
would set; to the east lay that barren
plain; it was morning, here on the ice.
East. West. Morning. Spring. The words popped into
his head, unbidden.
There was an austere beauty about the world. But nothing moved in it,
save human
beings.
He looked up at his mother. No-Sun was a skinny wreck; her fur hung loose
from
her bones. She had spent herself in feeding him through the winter, he realized.
He
tried to stand. He slithered over the ice, flapping ineffectually at its hard
surface,
while his mother poked and prodded him.
There was a sound of scraping.
The people had
dispersed across the ice. One by one they were starting to
scratch at the ice with their
long teeth. The adults were gaunt pillars, wasted
by the winter. There were other children,
little fat balls of fur like himself.
He saw other forms on the ice: long, low, snow heaped
up against them, lying
still. Here and there fur showed, in pathetic tufts.
"What are they?"
His mother glanced apathetically. "Not everybody makes it."
"I don't like it here."
She
laughed, hollowly, and gnawed at the ice. "Help me."
After an unmeasured time they broke
through the ice, to a dark liquid beneath.
Water.
When the hole was big enough, No-Sun
kicked him into it.
He found himself plunged into dark fluid. He tried to breathe, and got
a
mouthful of chill water. He panicked, helpless, scrabbling. Dark shapes moved
around him.
A strong arm wrapped around him, lifted his head into the air. He gasped
gratefully.
He was
bobbing, with his mother, in one of the holes in the ice. There were
other humans here,
their furry heads poking out of the water, nostrils flaring
as they gulped in air. They
nibbled steadily at the edges of the ice.
"Here's how you eat," No-Sun said. She ducked
under the surface, pulling him
down, and she started to graze at the underside of the ice,
scraping at it with
her long incisors. When she had a mouthful, she mushed it around to
melt the
ice, then squirted the water out through her big, overlapping molars and
premolars,
and munched the remnants.
He tried to copy her, but his gums were soft, his teeth tiny and
ineffective.
"Your teeth will grow," his mother said. "There's algae growing in the ice.
See
the red stuff?"
He saw it, like traces of blood in the ice. Dim understandings stirred.
"Look after your teeth."
"What?"
"Look at him."
A fat old man sat on the ice, alone, doleful.
"What's wrong with him?"
"His teeth wore out." She grinned at him, showing incisors and big
canines.
He stared at the old man.
The long struggle of living had begun.
LATER, THE LIGHT
started to fade from the sky: purple, black, stars. Above the
western mountains there was a
curtain of light, red and violet, ghostly,
shimmering, semi-transparent.
He gasped in
wonder. "It's beautiful."
She grinned. "The night dawn."
But her voice was uneven; she was
being pulled under the water by a heavy
gray-pelted body. A snout protruded from the water
and bit her neck, drawing
blood. "Ow," she said. "Bull --"
He was offended. "Is that my
father?"
"The Bull is everybody's father."
"Wait," he said. "What's my name?"
She thought for
a moment. Then she pointed up, at the sky burning above the
mountains like a rocky dream.
"Night-Dawn," she said.
And, in a swirl of bubbles, she slid into the water, laughing.
Night-Dawn
fed almost all the time. So did everybody else, to prepare for the
winter, which was never
far from anyone's thoughts.
The adults cooperated dully, bickering.
Sometimes one or other
of the men fought with the Bull. The contender was
supposed to put up a fight for a while
-- collect scars, maybe even inflict a
few himself -- before backing off and letting the
Bull win.
The children, Night-Dawn among them, fed and played and staged mock fights in
imitation
of the Bull. Night-Dawn spent most of his time in the water, feeding
on the thin beds of
algae, the krill and fish. He became friendly with a girl
called Frazil. In the water she
was sleek and graceful.
Night-Dawn learned to dive.
As the water thickened around him he
could feel his chest collapse against his
spine, the thump of his heart slow, his muscles
grow more sluggish as his body
conserved its air. He learned to enjoy the pulse of the long
muscles in his legs
and back, the warm satisfaction of cramming his jaw with tasty krill.
It was
dark under the ice, even at the height of summer, and the calls of the humans
echoed
from the dim white roof.
He dived deep, reaching as far as the bottom of the water, a hard
invisible
floor. Vegetation clung here, and there were a few fat, reluctant fishes. And
the
bones of children.
Some of the children did not grow well. When they died, their parents
delivered
their misshapen little bodies to the water, crying and cursing the sunlight.
His
mother told him about the Collision.
Something had come barreling out of the sky, and the
Moon -- one or other of
them -- had leapt out of the belly of the Earth. The water, the air
itself was
ripped from the world. Giant waves reared in the very rock, throwing the people
high, crushing them or burning them or drowning them.
But they -- the people of the ice --
survived all this in a deep hole in the
ground, No-Sun said. They had been given a
privileged shelter, and a mission: to
help others, less fortunate, after the calamity.
They
had spilled out of their hole in the ground, ready to help.
Most had frozen to death,
immediately.
They had food, from their hole, but it did not last long; they had tools to
help
them survive, but they broke and wore out and shattered. People were forced to
dig with
their teeth in the ice, as Night-Dawn did now.
Their problems did not end with hunger and
cold. The thinness of the air made
the sun into a new enemy.
Many babies were born changed.
Most died. But some survived, better suited to
the cold. Hearts accelerated, life
shortened. People changed, molded like slush
in the warm palm of the sun.
Night-Dawn was
intrigued by the story. But that was all it was: a story,
irrelevant to Night-Dawn's world,
which was a plain of rock, a frozen pond of
ice, people scraping for sparse mouthfuls of
food. How, why, when: the time for
such questions, on the blasted face of Earth, had
passed.
And yet they troubled Night-Dark, as he huddled with the others, half-asleep.
One
day -- in the water, with the soft back fur of Frazil pressed against his
chest -- he felt
something stir beneath his belly. He wriggled experimentally,
rubbing the bump against the
girl.
She moved away, muttering. But she looked back at him, and he thought she
smiled. Her
fur was indeed sleek and perfect.
He showed his erection to his mother. She inspected it
gravely; it stuck out of
his fur like a splinter of ice.
"Soon you will have a choice to
make."
"What choice?"
But she would not reply. She waddled away and dropped into the water.
The erection faded after a while, but it came back. More and more frequently, in
fact.
He
showed it to Frazil.
Her fur ruffled up into a ball. "It's small," she said dubiously. "Do
you know
what to do?"
"I think so. I've watched the Bull."
"All right."
She turned her back,
looking over her shoulder at him, and reached for her
genital slit.
But now a fat arm
slammed into his back. He crashed to the ice, falling
painfully on his penis, which shrank
back immediately.
It was the Bull, his father. The huge man was a mountain of flesh and
muscle,
silhouetted against a violet sky. He hauled out his own penis from under his
graying
fur. It was a fat, battered lump of flesh. He waggled it at Night-Dawn.
"I'm the Bull. Not
you. Frazil is mine."
Now Night-Dawn understood the choice his mother had set out before
him.
He felt something gather within him. Not anger: a sense of wrongness.
"I won't fight
you," he said to the Bull. "Humans shouldn't behave like this."
The Bull roared, opened his
mouth to display his canines, and turned away from
him.
Frazil slipped into the water, to
evade the Bull.
Night-Dawn was left alone, frustrated, baffled.
As winter approached, a
sense of oppression, of wrongness, gathered over
Night-Dawn, and his mood darkened like the
days.
People did nothing but feed and breed and die.
He watched the Bull. Behind the old
man's back, even as he bullied and assaulted
the smaller males, some of the other men
approached the women and girls and
coupled furtively. It happened all the time. Probably
the group would have died
out long ago if only the children of the Bull were permitted to
be conceived.
The Bull was an absurdity, then, even as he dominated the little group.
Night-Dawn
wondered if the Bull was truly his father.
...Sometimes at night he watched the flags of
night dawn ripple over the
mountains. He wondered why the night dawns should come there,
and nowhere else.
Perhaps the air was thicker there. Perhaps it was warmer beyond the
mountains;
perhaps there were people there.
But there was little time for reflection.
It got
colder, fiercely so.
As the ice holes began to freeze over, the people emerged reluctantly
from the
water, standing on the hardening ice.
In a freezing hole, a slush of ice crystal
clumps would gather. His mother
called that frazil. Then, when the slush had condensed to
form a solid surface,
it took on a dull matte appearance -- grease ice. The waves beneath
the larger
holes made the grease ice gather in wide, flat pancakes, with here and there
stray,
protruding crystals, called congelation. At last, the new ice grew harder
and compressed
with groans and cracks, into pack ice.
There were lots of words for ice.
And after the holes
were frozen over the water -- and their only food supply --
was cut off, for six months.
When the blizzards came, the huddle began.
The adults and children -- some of them little
fat balls of fur barely able to
walk -- came together, bodies pressed close, enveloping
Night-Dawn in a welcome
warmth, the shallow swell of their breathing pressing against him.
The snow, flecked with ice splinters, came at them horizontally. Night-Dawn
tucked his head
as deep as he could into the press of bodies, keeping his eyes
squeezed closed.
Night fell.
Day returned. He slept, in patches, standing up.
Sometimes he could hear people talking.
But then the wind rose to a scream,
drowning human voices.
The days wore away, still
shortening, as dark as the nights.
The group shifted, subtly. People were moving around
him. He got colder.
Suddenly somebody moved away, a fat man, and Night-Dawn found himself
exposed to
the wind. The cold cut into him, shocking him awake.
He tried to push back into
the mass of bodies, to regain the warmth.
The disturbance spread like a ripple through the
group. He saw heads raised,
eyes crusted with sleep and snow. With the group's tightness
broken, a mass of
hot air rose from the compressed bodies, steaming, frosting, bright in
the
double-shadowed Moonlight.
Here was No-Sun, blocking his way. "Stay out there. You have
to take your turn."
"But it's cold."
She turned away.
He tucked his head under his arm and
turned his back to the wind. He stood the
cold as long as he could.
Then, following the lead
of others, he worked his way around the rim of the
group, to its leeward side. At least
here he was sheltered. And after a time
more came around, shivering and iced up from their
time to windward, and
gradually he was encased once more in warmth.
Isolated on their scrap
of ice, with no shelter save each other's bodies from
the wind and snow, the little group
of humans huddled in silence. As they took
their turns at the windward side, the group
shifted slowly across the ice, a
creeping mat of fur.
Sometimes children were born onto the
ice. The people pushed around closely, to
protect the newborn, and its mother would tuck it
away into the warmth of her
body. Occasionally one of them fell away, and remained where
she or he lay, as
the group moved on.
This was the huddle: a black disc of fur and flesh and
human bones, swept by the
storms of Earth's unending winter.
A hundred thousand years after
the Collision, all humans had left was each
other.
Spring came slowly.
Dwarfed by the
desolate, rocky landscape, bereft of shelter, the humans
scratched at their isolated puddle
of ice, beginning the year's feeding.
Night-Dawn scraped ice from his eyes. He felt as if
he were waking from a
year-long sleep. This was his second spring, and it would be the
summer of his
manhood. He would father children, teach them, and protect them through the
coming winter. Despite the depletion of his winter fat, he felt strong,
vigorous.
He found
Frazil. They stood together, wordless, on the thick early spring ice.
Somebody roared in
his ear, hot foul breath on his neck.
It was, of course, the Bull. The old man would not
see another winter; his
ragged fur lay loose on his huge, empty frame, riven by the scars
of forgotten,
meaningless battles. But he was still immense and strong, still the Bull.
Without
preamble, the Bull sank his teeth into Night-Dawn's neck, and pulled
away a lump of flesh,
which he chewed noisily.
Night-Dawn backed away, appalled, breathing hard, blood running
down his fur.
Frazil and No-Sun were here with him.
"Challenge him," No-Sun said.
"I don't
want to fight."
"Then let him die," Frazil said. "He is old and stupid. We can couple
despite
him." There was a bellow. The Bull was facing him, pawing at the ice with a
great
scaly foot.
"I don't wish to fight you," Night-Dawn said.
The Bull laughed, and lumbered
forward, wheezing.
Night-Dawn stood his ground, braced his feet against the ice, and put
his head
down.
The Bull's roar turned to alarm, and he tried to stop; but his feet could
gain
no purchase.
His mouth slammed over Night-Dawn's skull. Night-Dawn screamed as the
Bull's
teeth grated through his fur and flesh to his very bone.
They bounced off each other.
Night-Dawn felt himself tumbling back, and finished
up on his backside on the ice. His
chest felt crushed; he labored to breathe. He
could barely see through the blood streaming
into his eyes.
The Bull was lying on his back, his loose belly hoisted toward the violet
sky.
He was feeling his mouth with his fingers.
He let out a long, despairing moan.
No-Sun
helped Night-Dawn to his feet. "You did it. You smashed his teeth,
Night-Dawn. He'll be
dead in days."
"I didn't mean to--"
His mother leaned close. "You're the Bull now. You can
couple with who you like.
Even me, if you want to."
"... Night-Dawn."
Here came Frazil. She
was smiling. She turned her back to him, bent over, and
pulled open her genital slit. His
penis rose in response, without his volition.
He coupled with her quickly. He did it at the
center of a circle of watching,
envious, calculating men. It brought him no joy, and they
parted without words.
He avoided the Bull until the old man had starved to death, gums
bleeding from
ice cuts, and the others had dumped his body into a water hole.
For
Night-Dawn, everything was different after that.
He was the Bull. He could couple with who
he liked. He stayed with Frazil. But
even coupling with Frazil brought him little pleasure.
One day he was challenged by another young man called One-Tusk, over a woman
Night-Dawn
barely knew, called Ice-Cloud.
"Fight, damn you," One-Tusk lisped.
"We shouldn't fight. I
don't care about Ice-Cloud."
One-Tusk growled, pursued him for a while, then gave up.
Night-Dawn saw him try
to mate with one of the women, but she laughed at him and pushed him
away.
Frazil came to him. "We can't live like this. You're the Bull. Act like it."
"To
fight, to eat, to huddle, to raise children, to die.... There must be more,
Frazil."
She
sighed. "Like what?"
"The Collision. Our purpose."
She studied him. "Night-Dawn, listen to
me. The Collision is a pretty story.
Something to make us feel better, while we suck scum
out of ice."
That was Frazil, he thought fondly. Practical. Unimaginative.
"Anyhow," she
said, "where are the people we are supposed to help?"
He pointed to the western horizon:
the rising ground, the place beyond the
blue-gray mountains. "There, perhaps."
THE NEXT DAY,
he called together the people. They stood in ranks on the ice,
their fur spiky, rows of
dark shapes in an empty landscape.
"We are all humans," he said boldly. "The Collision
threw us here, onto the
ice." Night-Dawn pointed to the distant mountains. "We must go
there. Maybe
there are people there. Maybe they are waiting for us, to huddle with them."
Somebody laughed.
"Why now?" asked the woman, Ice-Cloud.
"If not now, when? Now is no
different from any other time, on the ice. I'll go
alone if I have to."
People started to
walk away, back to the ice holes.
All, except for Frazil and No-Sun and One-Tusk.
No-Sun,
his mother, said, "You'll die if you go alone. I suppose it's my fault
you're like this."
One-Tusk said, "Do you really think there are people in the mountains?"
"Please don't go,"
Frazil said. "This is our summer. You will waste your life."
"I'm sorry," he said.
"You're
the Bull. You have everything we can offer."
"It's not enough."
He turned his back, faced
the mountains and began to walk.
He walked past the droppings and blood smears and scars in
the ice, the evidence
of humans.
He stopped and looked back.
The people had lined up to watch
him go -- all except for two men who were
fighting viciously, no doubt contesting his
succession, and a man and woman who
were coupling vigorously. And except for Frazil and
No-Sun and One-Tusk, who
padded across the ice after him.
He turned and walked on, until he
reached bare, untrodden ice.
After the first day of walking, the ice got thinner.
At last
they reached a place where there was no free water beneath, the ice
firmly bonded to a
surface of dark rock. And when they walked a little further,
the rock bed itself emerged
from beneath the ice.
Night-Dawn stared at it in fascination and fear. It was black and
deep and hard
under his feet, and he missed the slick compressibility of ice.
The next day
they came to another ice pool: smaller than their own, but a
welcome sight nonetheless.
They ran gleefully onto its cool white surface. They
scraped holes into the ice, and fed
deeply.
They stayed a night. But the next day they walked onto rock again, and
Night-Dawn
could see no more ice ahead.
The rock began to rise, becoming a slope.
They had no food.
Occasionally they took scrapes at the rising stone, but it
threatened to crack their teeth.
At night the wind was bitter, spilling off the flanks of the mountains, and they
huddled as
best they could, their backs to the cold, their faces and bellies
together.
"We'll die,"
One-Tusk would whisper.
"We won't die," Night-Dawn said. "We have our fat."
"That's supposed
to last us through the winter," hissed No-Sun.
One-Tusk shivered and moved a little more to
leeward. "I wished to father a
child," he said. "By Ice-Cloud. I could not. Ice-Cloud
mocked me. After that
nobody would couple with me."
"Ice-Cloud should have come to you,
Night-Dawn. You are the Bull," No-Sun
muttered.
"I'm sorry," Night-Dawn said to One-Tusk. "I
have fathered no children yet. Not
every coupling--"
One-Tusk said, "Do you really think it
will be warm in the mountains?"
"Try to sleep now," said Frazil sensibly.
They were many
days on the rising rock. The air grew thinner. The sky was never
brighter than a deep
violet blue.
The mountains, at last, grew nearer. On clear days the sun cast long shadows
that reached out to them.
Night-Dawn saw a gap in the mountains, a cleft through which he
could sometimes
see a slice of blue-violet sky. They turned that way, and walked on.
Still
they climbed; still the air thinned.
They came to the pass through the mountains. It was a
narrow gully. Its mouth
was broad, and there was broken rock, evidently cracked off the
gully sides.
Night-Dawn led them forward.
Soon the walls narrowed around him, the rock slick
with hard gray ice. His feet
slipped from under him, and he banged knees and hips against
bone-hard ice. He
was not, he knew, made for climbing. And besides, he had never been
surrounded
before, except in the huddle. He felt trapped, confined.
He persisted, doggedly.
His world closed down to the aches of his body, the gully around him, the search
for the
next handhold.
...The air was hot.
He stopped, stunned by this realization.
With renewed
excitement, he lodged his stubby fingers in crevices in the rock,
and hauled himself
upward.
At last the gully grew narrower.
He reached the top and dragged himself up over the
edge, panting, fur steaming.
... There were no people here.
He was standing at the rim of a
great bowl cut into the hard black rock. And at
the base of the bowl was a red liquid,
bubbling slowly. Steam gathered in great
clouds over the bubbling pool, laced with
yellowish fumes that stank strongly.
It was a place of rock and gas, not of people.
Frazil
came to stand beside him. She was breathing hard, and her mouth was wide
open, her arms
spread wide, to shed heat.
They stood before the bowl of heat, drawn by some ancient
imperative to the
warmth, and yet repelled by its suffocating thickness.
"The Collision,"
she said.
"What?"
"Once, the whole world was covered with such pools. Rock, melted by the
great
heat of the Collision."
"The Collision is just a story, you said."
She grunted. "I've
been wrong before."
His disappointment was crushing. "Nobody could live here. There is
warmth, but
it is poisonous." He found it hard even to think, so huge was his sense of
failure.
He stood away from the others and looked around.
Back the way they had come, the uniform
hard blackness was broken only by
scattered islands of gray-white: ice pools, Night-Dawn
knew, like the one he had
left behind.
Turning, he could see the sweep of the mountains
clearly: he was breaching a
great inward-curving wall, a great complex string of peaks that
spread from
horizon to horizon, gaunt under the blue-purple sky.
And ahead of him, ice had
gathered in pools and crevasses at the feet of the
mountains, lapping against the rock
walls as if frustrated -- save in one place,
where a great tongue of ice had broken
through. Glacier, he thought.
He saw that they could walk around the bowl of bubbling
liquid rock and reach
the head of the glacier, perhaps before night fell, and then move on,
beyond
these mountains. Hope sparked. Perhaps what he sought lay there.
"I'm exhausted,"
No-Sun said, a pillar of fur slumped against a heap of rock.
"We should go back."
Night-Dawn,
distracted by his plans, turned to her. "Why?"
"We are creatures of cold. Feel how you bum
up inside your fat. This is not our
place..."
"Look," breathed One-Tusk, coming up to them.
He was carrying a rock he'd cracked open. Inside there was a thin line of red
and black.
Algae, perhaps. And, in a hollow in the rock, small insects wriggled,
their red shells
bright.
Frazil fell on the rock, gnawing at it eagerly.
The others quickly grabbed handfuls
of rocks and began to crack them open.
They spent the night in a hollow at the base of the
glacier.
In the morning they clambered up onto its smooth, rock-littered surface. The ice
groaned as it was compressed by its forced passage through the mountains, which
towered
above them to either side, blue-gray and forbidding.
At the glacier's highest point, they
saw that the river of ice descended to an
icy plain. And the plain led to another wall of
mountains, so remote it was
almost lost in the horizon's mist.
"More walls," groaned
One-Tusk. "Walls that go on forever."
"I don't think so," said Night-Dawn. He swept his arm
along the line of the
distant peaks, which glowed pink in the sun. "I think they curve. You
see?"
"I can't tell," muttered No-Sun, squinting.
With splayed toes on the ice, Night-Dawn
scraped three parallel curves -- then,
tentatively, he joined them up into concentric
circles. "Curved walls of
mountains. Maybe that's what we're walking into," he said. "Like
ripples in a
water hole."
"Ripples, in rock?" Frazil asked skeptically.
"If the Collision
stories are true, it's possible."
No-Sun tapped at the center of his picture. "And what
will we find here?"
"I don't know."
They rested awhile, and moved on.
The glacier began to
descend so rapidly they had some trouble keeping their
feet. The ice here, under tension,
was cracked, and there were many ravines.
At last they came to a kind of cliff, hundreds of
times taller than Night-Dawn.
The glacier was tumbling gracefully into the ice plain, great
blocks of it
carving away. This ice sheet was much wider than the pool they had left
behind,
so wide, in fact, it lapped to left and right as far as they could see and all
the
way to the far mountains. Ice lay on the surface in great broken sheets, but
clear water,
blue-black, was visible in the gaps.
It was -- together they found the word, deep in their
engineered memories -- it
was a sea.
"Perhaps this is a circular sea," One-Tusk said,
excited. "Perhaps it fills up
the ring between the mountains."
"Perhaps."
They clambered down
the glacier, caution and eagerness warring in Night-Dawn's
heart.
There was a shallow beach
here, of shattered stone. The beach was littered with
droppings, black and white streaks,
and half-eaten krill.
In his short life, Night-Dawn had seen no creatures save fish, krill,
algae and
humans. But this beach did not bear the mark of humans like themselves. He
struggled
to imagine what might live here.
Without hesitation, One-Tusk ran to a slab of pack ice,
loosely anchored. With a
yell he dropped off the end into the water.
No-Sun fluffed up her
fur. "I don't like it here --"
Bubbles were coming out of the water, where One-Tusk had
dived.
Night-Dawn rushed to the edge of the water.
One-Tusk surfaced, screaming, in a flurry
of foam. Half his scalp was torn away,
exposing pink raw flesh, the white of bone.
An
immense shape loomed out of the water after him: Night-Dawn glimpsed a pink
mouth, peg-like
teeth, a dangling wattle, small black eyes. The huge mouth
closed around One-Tusk's neck.
He had time for one more scream -- and then he was gone, dragged under the
surface again.
The thick, sluggish water grew calm; last bubbles broke the surface, pink with
blood.
Night-Dawn
and the others huddled together.
"He is dead," Frazil said.
"We all die," said No-Sun.
"Death is easy."
"Did you see its eyes?" Frazil asked.
"Yes. Human," No-Sun said bleakly.
"Not like us, but human."
"Perhaps there were other ways to survive the Collision."
No-Sun
turned on her son. "Are we supposed to huddle with that, Night-Dawn?"
Night-Dawn, shocked,
unable to speak, was beyond calculation. He explored his
heart, searching for grief for
loyal, confused One-Tusk.
THEY STAYED on the beach for many days, fearful of the inhabited
water. They ate
nothing but scavenged scraps of crushed, half-rotten krill left behind by
whatever creatures had lived here.
"We should go back," said No-Sun at last.
"We can't,"
Night-Dawn whispered. "It's already too late. We couldn't get back
to the huddle before
winter."
"But we can't stay here," Frazil said.
"So we go on." No-Sun laughed, her voice
thin and weak. "We go on, across the
sea, until we can't go on anymore."
"Or until we find
shelter," Night-Dawn said.
"Oh, yes," No-Sun whispered. "There is that."
So they walked on,
over the pack ice.
This was no mere pond, as they had left behind; this was an ocean.
The
ice was thin, partially melted, poorly packed. Here and there the ice was
piled up into
cliffs and mountains that towered over them; the ice hills were
eroded, shaped smooth by
the wind, carved into fantastic arches and spires and
hollows. The ice was every shade of
blue. And when the sun set, its light filled
the ice shapes with pink, red and orange.
There
was a cacophony of noise: groans and cracks, as the ice moved around them.
But there were
no human voices, save their own: only the empty noise of the ice
-- and the occasional
murmur, Night-Dawn thought, of whatever giant beasts
inhabited this huge sea.
They walked
for days. The mountain chain they had left behind dwindled, dipping
into the mist of the
horizon, and the chain ahead of them approached with
stultifying slowness. He imagined
looking down on himself, a small, determined
speck walking steadily across this great,
molded landscape, working toward the
mysteries of the center.
Food was easy to find. The
slushy ice was soft and easy to break through.
No-Sun would walk only slowly now. And she
would not eat. Her memory of the
monster that had snapped up One-Tusk was too strong.
Night-Dawn even braved the
water to bring her fish, but they were strange: ghostly-white
creatures with
flattened heads, sharp teeth. No-Sun pushed them away, saying she preferred
to
consume her own good fat. And so she grew steadily more wasted.
Until there came a day
when, waking, she would not move at all. She stood at the
center of a fat, stable ice-floe,
a pillar of loose flesh, rolls of fur
cascading down a frame leached of fat.
Night-Dawn
stood before her, punched her lightly, cajoled her.
"Leave me here," she said. "It's my
time anyhow."
"No. It isn't right."
She laughed, and fluid rattled on her lungs. "Right.
Wrong. You're a dreamer.
You always were. It's my fault, probably."
She subsided, as if
deflating, and fell back onto the ice.
He knelt and cradled her head in his lap. He stayed
there all night, the cold of
the ice seeping through the flesh of his knees.
In the morning,
stiff with the cold, they took her to the edge of the ice floe
and tipped her into the
water, for the benefit of the creatures of this giant
sea.
After more days of walking, the
ice grew thin, the water beneath shallow.
Another day of this and they came to a slope of
hard black rock, that pushed its
way out of the ice and rose up before them.
The black rock
was hard-edged and cold under Night-Dawn's feet, its rise
unrelenting. As far as he could
see to left and right, the ridge was solid,
unbroken, with no convenient passes for them to
follow, the sky lidded over by
cloud.
They grasped each other's hands and pressed up the
slope.
The climb exhausted Night-Dawn immediately. And there was nothing to eat or
drink,
here on the high rocks, not so much as a scrap of ice. Soon, even the air
grew thin; he
struggled to drag energy from its pale substance.
When they slept, they stood on hard black
rock. Night-Dawn feared and hated the
rock; it was an enemy, rooted deep in the Earth.
On
the fourth day of this they entered the clouds, and he could not even see
where his next
step should be placed. With the thin, icy moisture in his lungs
and spreading on his fur he
felt trapped, as if under some infinite ice layer,
far from any air hole. He struggled to
breathe, and if he slept, he woke
consumed by a thin panic. At such times he clung to
Frazil and remembered who he
was and where he had come from and why he had come so far. He
was a human being,
and he had a mission that he would fulfill.
Then, one morning, they broke
through the last ragged clouds.
Though it was close to midday, the sky was as dark as he
had ever seen it, a
deep violet blue. The only clouds were thin sheets of ice crystals,
high above.
And -- he saw, gasping with astonishment -- there were stars shining, even now,
in the middle of the sunlit day.
The slope seemed to reach a crest, a short way ahead of
him. They walked on. The
air was thin, a whisper in his lungs, and he was suspended in
silence; only the
rasp of Frazil's shallow breath, the soft slap of their footsteps on the
rock,
broke up the stillness.
He reached the crest. The rock wall descended sharply from
here, he saw, soon
vanishing into layers of fat, fluffy clouds.
And, when he looked ahead,
he saw a mountain.
Far ahead of them, dominating the horizon, it was a single peak that
thrust out
of scattered clouds, towering even over their elevated position here, its walls
sheer and stark. Its flanks were girdled with ice, but the peak itself was bare
black rock
-- too high even for ice to gather, he surmised -- perhaps so high it
thrust out of the
very air itself.
It must be the greatest mountain in the world.
And beyond it there was a
further line of mountains, he saw, like a line of
broken teeth, marking the far horizon.
When he looked to left and right, he
could see how those mountains joined the crest he had
climbed, in a giant
unbroken ring around that great, central fist of rock.
It was a giant
rock ripple, just as he had sketched in the ice. Perhaps this was
the center, the very
heart of the great systems of mountain rings and circular
seas he had penetrated.
An ocean
lapped around the base of the mountain. He could see that glaciers
flowed down its heroic
base, rivers of ice dwarfed by the mountain's immensity.
There was ice in the ocean too --
pack ice, and icebergs like great eroded
islands, white, carved. Some manner of creatures
were visible on the bergs,
black and gray dots against the pristine white of the ice, too
distant for him
to make out. But this sea was mostly melted, a band of blue-black.
The slope
of black rock continued below him-- far, far onward, until it all but
disappeared into the
misty air at the base of this bowl of land. But he could
see that it reached a beach of
some sort, of shattered, eroded rock sprinkled
with snow, against which waves sluggishly
lapped.
There was a belt of land around the sea, cradled by the ring mountains, fringed
by
the sea. And it was covered by life, great furry sheets of it. From this
height it looked
like an encrustation of algae. But he knew there must be living
things there much greater
in scale than any he had seen before.
"...It is a bowl," Frazil breathed.
"What?"
"Look down
there. This is a great bowl, of clouds and water and light, on whose
lip we stand. We will
be safe down there, away from the rock and ice."
He saw she was right. This was indeed a
bowl -- presumably the great scar left
where one or other of the Moons had tom itself loose
of the Earth, just as the
stories said. And these rings of mountains were ripples in the
rock, frozen as
if ice.
He forgot his hunger, his thirst, even the lack of air here; eagerly
they began
to hurry down the slope.
The air rapidly thickened.
But his breathing did not
become any easier, for it grew warm, warmer than he
had ever known it. Steam began to rise
from his thick, heavy fur. He opened his
mouth and raised his nostril flaps wide, sucking
in the air. It was as if the
heat of this giant sheltering bowl was now, at the last,
driving them back.
But they did not give up their relentless descent, and he gathered the
last of
his strength.
The air beneath them cleared further.
Overwhelmed, Night-Dawn stopped.
The prolific land around the central sea was divided into neat shapes, he saw
now, and here
and there smoke rose. It was a made landscape. The work of people.
Humans were sheltered
here. It was a final irony, that people should find
shelter at the bottom of the great pit
dug out of the Earth by the
world-wrecking Collision.
...And there was a color to that deep,
cupped world, emerging now from the mist.
Something he had never seen before; and yet the
word for it dropped into place,
just as had his first words after birth.
"Green," Frazil
said.
"Green. Yes..."
He was stunned by the brilliance of the color against the black rock,
the dull
blue-gray of the sea. But even as he looked into the pit of warmth and air, he
felt
a deep sadness. For he already knew he could never reach that deep shelter,
peer up at the
giant green living things; this body which shielded him from cold
would allow heat to kill
him.
Somebody spoke.
He cried out, spun around. Frazil was standing stock still, staring up.
There was a creature standing here. Like a tall, very skinny human.
It was a human, he saw.
A woman. Her face was small and neat, and there was
barely a drop of fat on her, save
around the hips, buttocks and breasts. Her
chest was small. She had a coat of some fine fur
-- no, he realized with shock;
she was wearing a false skin, that hugged her bare flesh
tightly. She was
carrying green stuff, food perhaps, in a basket of false skin.
She was
twice his height.
Her eyes were undoubtedly human, though, as human as his, and her gaze
was
locked on his face. And in her eyes, he read fear.
Fear, and disgust.
He stepped forward.
"We have come to help you," he said.
"Yes," said Frazil.
"We have come far--"
The tall woman
spoke again, but he could not understand her. Even her voice was
strange -- thin, emanating
from that shallow chest. She spoke again, and
pointed, down toward the surface of the sea,
far below.
Now he looked more closely he could see movement on the beach. Small dots,
moving
around. People, perhaps, like this girl. Some of them were small.
Children, running free.
Many children.
The woman turned, and started climbing away from them, down the slope toward
her
world, carrying whatever she had gathered from these high banks. She was shaking
a fist
at them now. She even bent to pick up a sharp stone and threw it toward
Frazil; it fell
short, clattering harmlessly.
"I don't understand," Frazil said.
Night-Dawn thought of the
loathing he had seen in the strange woman's eyes. He
saw himself through her eyes: squat,
fat, waddling, as if deformed.
He felt shame. "We are not welcome here," he said.
"We must
bring the others here," Frazil was saying.
"And what then? Beg to be allowed to stay, to
enter the warmth? No. We will go
home."
"Home? To a place where people live a handful of
winters, and must scrape food
from ice with their teeth? How can that compare to this?"
He
took her hands. "But this is not for us. We are monsters to these people. As
they are to
us. And we cannot live here."
She stared into the pit of light and green. "But in time, our
children might
learn to live there, Just as we learned to live on the ice."
The longing in
her voice was painful. He thought of the generations who had
lived out their short, bleak
lives on the ice. He thought of his mother, who had
sought to protect him to the end; poor
One-Tusk, who had died without seeing the
people of the mountains; dear, loyal Frazil, who
had walked to the edge of the
world at his side.
"Listen to me. Let these people have their
hole in the ground. We have a world.
We can live anywhere. We must go back and tell our
people so."
She sniffed. "Dear Night-Dawn. Always dreaming. But first we must eat, for
winter
is coming."
"Yes. First we eat."
They inspected the rock that surrounded them. There was
green here, he saw now,
thin traces of it that clung to the surface of the rock. In some
places it grew
away from the rock face, brave little balls of it no bigger than his fist,
and
here and there fine fur-like sproutings.
They bent, reaching together for the green
shoots.
The shadows lengthened. The sun was descending toward the circular sea, and one
of
Earth's two Moons was rising.