The Gift of
Christmas Past

Lynn Kurland
Prologue
"dames," bruno said, with a regretful shake of his head. "Whatcha gonna do wit 'em?"
Sir Maximillian Sweetums swished his tail twice, settled himself more comfortably on his cloud, and admitted to himself that he quite had to agree with his companion—as indelicately put as the sentiment had been.
"Ah, dear Bruno," Sir Sweetums said, "there's the rub. Women don't like to be 'done with.' Especially The Abigail. A most forthright and independent spirit, she is."
"It ain't like you ain't tried, Boss," Bruno offered. "Before you, uh, I mean while you was still, uh—"
Sir Sweetums held up his well-manicured white paw to spare the blushing bulldog further embarrassment.
"Yes, I understand." It was very impolite to mention to a feline that his nine lives were up, but Sir Sweetums overlooked the faux pas. After all, he'd lived his turns to the fullest, using his considerable wits and wiles to their best advantage.
He'd had a different charge during each of his nine lives, and he'd seen eight of those mortal charges successfully settled. It was Number Nine who had, and continued, to elude his superior matchmaking skills. The Abigail. He'd tried, oh, how he'd tried.
He'd made an unmentionable deposit into the toolbox of a less-than desirable handyman The Abigail had taken a fancy to. He'd leaped off the back of the couch over an insufferable attorney, snatching the man's hairpiece and wresting it to the ground. Snags in gabardine trousers, bloodcurdling yowls, sneak attacks from the bushes—they had served only to keep the undesirables from The Abigail. But a suitor to suit? Sir Sweet-urns wrinkled his aristocratic nose disdainfully. Nary a one, dear reader, nary a one!
That was before. Two years into his post-ninth life and subsequent Guardian Feline Association membership, Sir Sweetums had found the Right One for The Abigail.
Now it was just a question of bringing them together.
"Hey, Boss, uh, is you ready to go yet?"
Sir Sweetums tucked a bit of stray fur behind his left ear. "Yes, my friend, I believe the time has come. You saw to the details?"
"Yeah, Boss. Dat movie's on right now. Only how come dey don't have no parts for no Guardian Animals in dat one?"
"Perhaps The Capra was allergic."
A thoughtful expression descended onto the bulldog's pudgy face. "Yeah," he said, nodding slowly. "Maybe dat's it." He looked up at Sir Sweetums and snapped to attention when he saw the feline was poised to jump. "Anyting' else, Boss, befores you go? Some Tenda Viddles? A sawsah of haf n' haf?"
Sir Sweetums was already leaping down athletically from the cloud. "No time, dear Bruno," he called back. "We mustn't keep Fate waiting any longer!"
"Good luck, Boss! You's gonna need it," Bruno added, in an undertone. "Dames," he said, with a slow shake of his head. "Whatcha gonna do wit 'em?"

Chapter One
it wasn't a wonderful life.
Abigail Moira Garrett stood on the bridge and stared down into the murky waters below her. She couldn't even find a decently rushing river to throw herself into. The best she could do was Murphy's Pond and the little one-lane bridge that arched over the narrow end of it. Instead of meeting her end in a torrent of water, she'd probably do no better than strangle herself in the marshy weeds below. It was indicative of how her life had been going lately.
It had all started last Monday. Her power had gone off during the night, causing her to sleep until ten A.M. The phone call from her boss had been what had woken her. He'd told her not to bother coming in. Ever.
If only it had stopped there. But it hadn't. And why? Because she'd uttered the words, "It can't get any worse than this." Those were magical words, guaranteed to prove the utterer wrong, words that drew every contrary force in the universe to zero in on the speaker with single-minded intensity.
Tuesday she'd been informed that because of a glitch in the system, it would take several weeks to collect unemployment.
Wednesday she'd been informed that she wouldn't be getting any unemployment because her Social Security number didn't exist. If she wanted to take it up with the Social Security office, their number was . . .
Thursday, her landlord had told her he wanted her out. Being between jobs, she had now become a freeloader and he wasn't taking any chances on her. Chest pains had begun that night.
On Friday her fiance, whom she had always considered boyishly charming, boyishly mannered, and boyishly handsome, had left her a note telling her that since she no longer had a job and wouldn't be able to support him in the style to which he wanted to become accustomed after they married, he was moving on to greener pastures. To the woman in the apartment next door, to be exact.
And now, on top of everything else, Christmas was three days away. Christmas was meant to be spent with family, basking in the glow of friendship, food, and hearthfire. All she had to bask in was the odor of sweat socks that permeated her apartment, despite her attempts to dispel it. She had no family, no hopes for posterity anytime soon and, most especially, no cat.
She dragged her sleeve across her eyes. This was her second catless Christmas. She should have been used to it by now, but she wasn't. Just how was one to make the acquaintance of Sir Maximillian Sweetums, live with him for ten years, then be expected to live without him? One day he'd been there and the next, poof, he'd been gone. She'd cried for days, looked for weeks, hoped for months. But no Sir Sweetums.
And now that darned movie had just made matters worse. She had watched George Bailey lose it all, then regain it in the most Christmassy, heartfelt of ways. It certainly had been a wonderful life for him. All watching it had done for her was make her realize just exactly what she didn't have. Good grief, she didn't even have a Social Security number anymore!
She stepped up on the first rung of the railing and stared down into the placid waters. All right, now was the time to get ahold of herself and make a few decisions. She had no intentions of jumping—not that she would have done herself much harm anyway. Well, short of getting strangled in Mr. Murphy's weeds, that is. No, she had come to face death and figure out just what it was she had to live for.
She threw out her hands as a gust of wind unbalanced her. Okay, so maybe this was a little drastic, but she was a Garrett and Garretts never did things by halves. That's what her father had always told her and she had taken it to heart. Her dad ought to have known. He'd fallen off Mt. Everest at age seventy.
She stared out over the placid pond and contemplated her situation. So, she'd lost her job. She didn't like typing for a living and she hated fetching her boss coffee. She would find something else. And her apartment was hazardous to her sense of smell. She could do better.
Her fiance Brett could be replaced as well. What did she need with a perpetual Peter Pan who had three times as many clothes as she did, wore gallons of cologne, and deep down in his boyish heart of hearts was certain she should be supporting him while he found himself? Maybe she'd look for a different kind of guy this time, one who didn't mind working and wouldn't hog all her closet space. She crossed her heart as she made her vow. No one who dresses better, smells nicer, or works less than I do.
So maybe her life was in the toilet. At least she was still in the bowl, not flushed out on her way to the sewer. She could go on for another few days.
Oh, but Sir Sweetums. Abby swayed on the railing, shivering. He was irreplaceable. Even after two years, she still felt his loss. Who was she supposed to talk to now while she gardened in that little plot downstairs? Who would greet her at the end of each day with a meow that said, "and just where have you been, Miss? I positively demand your attention!" Who would wake her up in the morning with dignified pats on her cheek with his soft paw?
Meow!
Abby gasped as she saw something take a swan dive into the pond. She climbed up to the top of the railing for a better look. That had to have been a cat. It had definitely meowed and those headlights had most certainly highlighted a tail.
Headlights? A very large truck traveling at an unsafe speed rumbled over the one-lane bridge, leaving behind a hefty gust of wind. Abby made windmill-like motions with her arms as she fought to keep herself balanced on that skinny railing.
"Hey, I wasn't through sorting out my life!" she exclaimed, fighting
the air.	
It was no use.
Darkness engulfed her. She didn't see the pond coming, but she certainly felt it. Her breath departed with a rush as she plunged down into the water. She sank like a rock. Her chest burned with the effort of holding what little breath she still possessed.
Time stopped and she lost all sense of direction. It occurred to her, fleetingly, that Murphy's Pond wasn't that deep. Maybe she had bonked her head on a stiff bit of pond scum and was now hallucinating. Or worse.
An eternity later, her feet touched solid, though squishy, ground. With strength born of pure panic, she pushed off from the gooey pond bottom and clawed her way to the surface. She started to lose consciousness and she fought it with all her strength. No halves for this Garrett.
She burst through the surface and gulped in great lungfuls of air. She flailed about in the water to keep afloat, grateful she was breathing air and not water. Finally, she managed to stop coughing long enough to catch her breath.
And then she wished she hadn't.
The smell was blinding. Her teeth started to chatter. Maybe she had died and been sent straight along to hell. Was this what hell smelled like?
Well, at least there was dry land in sight. It was possible she had just drifted to a different part of Mr. Murphy's pond. Things floated by her, but she didn't stick around to investigate. Pond scum was better left un-examined at close range. She swam to the bank and heaved herself out of the water. She rolled over onto her back and closed her eyes, content to be on terra firma, still breathing, still conscious.
She had to get hold of herself. Life just wasn't that bad. Lots of people had it worse. She could have had it worse. She could have married Brett and watched her closet space dwindle to nothing. She could have been fetching Mr. Schlessinger coffee until she was as personable as the cactus plants he kept on his windowsill. Life had given her the chance to start over. It would be very un-Garrett-like not to take the do-over and run like hell with it.
She took a last deep breath. She needed to get up, find her car and go home. Maybe she'd stop at the Mini Mart and get a small snack. Something chocolate. Something very bad for her. Yes, that was the ticket. She sat up, pushed her hair out of her eyes and looked back over the pond, wondering just where she'd wound up.
She froze.
Then her jaw went slack.	
It seemed that the moon had come out. How nice. It illuminated the countryside quite well. She blinked. Then she rubbed her eyes.
She wasn't sitting on the bank of Murphy's Pond. She was sitting on the bank of a moat.
She looked to her left. What should have been the bridge over the narrow end of the pond, wasn't. It looked like a drawbridge. She followed it across the water, then looked up. She blinked some more, but it didn't help.
All right, so maybe she had died and gone to hell. But she'd always assumed hell was very warm, what with all that fire and brimstone dotting the landscape. She definitely wasn't warm and she definitely wasn't looking at brimstone. She was looking at a castle.
She groaned and flopped back onto the grass. Faint, damn it! she commanded herself.
Shoot. It was that blasted Garrett constitution coming to the fore. Garretts never fainted. But did they lose their minds? Abby turned that thought over in her head for a few minutes. She didn't know of anyone in the family having lost it. Lots of deaths of Garretts of grandparent vintage driving at unsafe speeds, skiing down unsafe hills, climbing up things better admired from a distance. But no incontinence, incapacity, or insanity.
Meow.
Abby sat up so fast, she saw stars. She put her hand to her head. Once the world had settled back down to normal rotation, she looked around frantically.
"Sir Sweetums?" Abby called.
       Meow, came the answer, to her left.
 Abby looked, then did a double take. "Sir Sweetums!" She jumped to her feet. "It's you!" There, not twenty feet from her, sat her beloved Sir Maximillian Sweetums, staring at her with what could only be described as his dignified kitty look. He flicked his ears at her.
Abby took a step forward, then froze. What did this mean? Surely Sir Sweetums hadn't been packed off to hell. But she had the feeling he just couldn't be alive. Did that mean she was dead, too?
Without further ado, she pulled back and slapped herself smartly across the face.
"Yeouch!" she exclaimed, rubbing her cheek. Well, that answered a few questions. Though Sir Sweetums might have left his corporeal self behind, she certainly hadn't.
But, whatever his status, His Maximillianness was obviously in a hurry to be off somewhere. He gave her another meow, then hopped up on all fours, did a graceful leap to change his direction, and headed toward the drawbridge.
"Hey," Abby said, "wait!"
And Sir Sweetums, being himself, ignored her. That was the thing about cats; they had minds of their own.
"Sir Sweetums, wait!"
The blasted cat was now on the drawbridge and heading straight for the castle.
The castle?
"I'll deal with that later," Abby promised herself.
Later—when she figured out why the moonlight was shining down on walls topped with towers and those little slits that looked just about big enough for a man to squeeze through and either shoot something at you, or fling boiling oil at you. Later—when she'd decided just what she was: dead or alive, in heaven or hell. Later—when she'd had a bath to remove the lovely fragrance of eau de sewer from her hair and clothes.
"Hey, stop!" Abby exclaimed, thumping across the drawbridge. She pulled up short at the sight of the gate. It looked suspiciously like something she'd seen in a documentary on medieval castles. Abby took a deep breath and added that little detail to her list of things to worry about later. Now she had to catch her fleeing feline before he slipped through the gate grates.
She made a diving leap for Sir Sweetums's tail. She wound up flat on her face in a puddle of mud, clutching a fistful of what should have been cat hair.
She jumped to her feet and took hold of the gate, peering through the grates. They were about ten inches square—big enough for her to see through, but definitely not big enough to squeeze through.
"Sir Sweetums," she crooned, in her best come-here-I-have-some-half-and-half-in-your-favorite-china-bowl voice.
Nothing. Drat.
"Come on, Max," she tried, in her best aw-shucks-cut-me-some-slack voice.
Not even a swish of a tail to let her know she'd been heard.
"Get back over here, you stupid cat!" she hollered.
That wasn't working either. No cat. No castle owners either. Well, maybe they were asleep.
She thought about waiting for morning to call for help but all it took was one good whiff of herself to decide that that wasn't an option. Maybe that was all part of hell, too. Phantom cats, sewer-like stench clinging to one's clothes, delusional surroundings.
She rubbed her muddy cheek thoughtfully. It was still sore. She felt far too corporeal for the afterlife. Nope, she wasn't dead. Totally in control of her faculties was debatable, but she'd give that more thought later.
What she wanted now was a hot bath and a mug of Swiss Miss with mini marshmallows. She was a damsel in definite distress. Maybe there was a handsome knight inside ready to rescue her from her less than best-dressed self.
She started to yell.	
Chapter  Two
miles de piaget shifted in his chair, shoved his feet closer to the fire blazing in the middle of the great hall, and tried to fall asleep. He had a bed, but he'd shunned it in favor of the hard chair. He likely could have contented himself with merely choking on the abundance of smoke in his hall, but somehow this dual torture had suited him better. Of course had he remained at his sire's keep, he could have been sitting in a more comfortable chair, enjoying the festivities of the season in a smokeless hall. Ar-tane was a thoroughly modern place, with hearths set into the walls and flues to carry the smoke outside.
But Miles had sought discomfort and Speningethorpe certainly provided him with that. It was, politely, a bloody sty. Miles knew he was fortunate to have arrived and found the place possessing a roof. But he'd wanted it. He'd all but demanded it. He'd wanted a place of refuge. What with the pair of years he'd just survived, peace and quiet was what he'd needed, no matter the condition of the surroundings.
He never should have made the journey to the Holy Land. Aye, that was the start to all his troubles. Now, staring back on the ruins of his life, he wondered why his reasons had seemed so compelling at the time. It wasn't as if he'd had to prove himself to his sire, or to the rest of the countryside, for that matter. He vaguely remembered a desire to see what his father and brothers had seen on their travels.
Perhaps the tale would have finished peaceably if he'd been able to keep his bloody mouth shut on his way home. Soured and disillusioned after returning from Jerusalem, he'd let his tongue run free at the expense of a former French Crusader. If he'd but known whom he'd been insulting!
He shook aside his thoughts. It did no good to dwell on the past. He'd escaped France with his flesh unscorched and he had his grandfather to thank for that. He'd been home for four months already; it was past time he sent word and thanked the man for the timely rescue. He would, just as soon as he'd brooded enough to suit himself. That time surely wouldn't come before the celebrations were over. Had he ever possessed any desire to celebrate the birth of the Lord, he had it no longer. He'd seen too many atrocities committed for the sake of preserving holy relics. Nay, what he wanted was silence, far away from his family, far away from their joy and laughter. He had no heart for such things.
His father hadn't argued with him. But then, Rhys of Artane had had his own taste of war and such, and he understood. He'd asked no questions, simply given into Miles's demand for the desolate bit of soil without comment. His only action had been to see stores sent along after the fact by a generously-manned garrison. Miles had kept the foodstuffs, but sent the men back. He would hear about that soon enough. He smiled grimly. His father would be provoked mightily by the act. Hopefully his mother had the furnishings secured well.
The wood popped, startling him. He shifted in his chair, then paused. Was that a voice?
Surely his father wouldn't have ridden from Artane so soon. Miles frowned. He would have to investigate, obviously. He pushed himself to his feet, feeling far older than his score and four years. The saints pity him if he ever reached his sire's age. He was exhausted already by living.
He walked to the hall door, then unbolted it by heaving a wooden beam from its iron brackets. He set the beam aside and pulled the heavy door back.
There was most definitely someone at the gates. Miles sighed heavily and returned to his chair for his sword. It would have been wise to don at least a mail shirt, but he had no squire to aid him, nor any energy to arm himself by himself. A sword and a frown would have to suffice. He snatched a torch from a sconce on the wall and left the great hall. Perhaps he'd been too hasty in his decision to leave the servants behind. It was much easier to ask who was at the gates than to discover the truth of the matter for oneself.
Miles walked toward the lone gatehouse in the bailey wall. There were times he wondered why anyone had bothered with even the one wall surrounding the keep. Speningethorpe was very assailable, a fact he didn't think on overmuch. Who would want the place?
"Open up, damn it!"
Miles stopped in the gatehouse tunnel, too surprised to do anything else but stare. There was some sort of creature pounding on his portcullis, babbling things in a rapid, obviously irritated manner.
The creature stopped its tirade and then hopped up and down.
"Oh, someone's home! Great. Can you open this gate? I lost my cat inside. At least I think it's my cat. He looks like Sir Sweetums, but I don't know how that can be." The being stopped speaking suddenly and looked at him.
Miles looked back. He took another step closer, holding out the torch.
"Am I in hell?" the creature asked, uncertainly.
Miles almost smiled. "Near to it, certainly."
"Really?" This was said with a gasp.
Miles took another step forward. The being before him was covered with muck. He frowned. Perhaps it was a demon come to torment him. The saints knew he deserved it. He'd committed enough sins in his youth to warrant a legion of demons haunting him for the rest of his days.
But did demons smell so foul? That was a point he wasn't sure on. He considered it as he gave the mud-covered harpy before him another look. It had to be a harpy. He'd heard of such creatures roaming about in Greece. They were part woman, part bird. This being certainly chirped like the latter. She spoke the peasant's tongue, poorly, and her accent was passing strange. Miles frowned. Had she truly come from Greece? Then how had she come to be standing outside his gates?
"Look, can't you at least open up? I'm freezing and I stink."
Miles considered. "Indeed, there is a most foul odor that attends you."
"I went for a swim in your moat."
"Ah,” he said. "That explains much."
The harpy frowned at him. Miles took a step closer to her. She was a very plump harpy, indeed. Her arms were excessively puffy, as was her middle. She had scrawny legs, though. No doubt in keeping with her bird-like half. He stared at her legs thoughtfully. She wore very strange hose. Even stranger shoes. He leaned closer. Her foot coverings might have been white at one time. It was hard to tell their present color by torchlight, but he had little trouble identifying the stench.
"Hey," the being chirped at him, "would you just let me in already?"
He hesitated. "Are you truly a harpy?"
The creature scowled at him. "Of course not. Who are you? The gatekeeper of hell?"
Miles laughed, in spite of himself. "You insult both me and my fine hall, and now I am to let you inside?"
The woman, who claimed not to be a harpy, looked at him with a frown. "Hall?"
"Speningethorpe," he clarified.
"And just where is that?" she demanded.
He shrugged. "It depends on the year, and who is king. 'Tis nearer Hadrian's wall. Some years it finds itself in England, some years in Scotland. A lovely place, really, if you've no use for creature comforts."
The woman swayed. "England? Scotland?"
"Aye," Miles said.
The woman sat down with a thump. "I'm dreaming."
Miles wrinkled his nose. "Nay, I think you aren't. I know I'm not."
The woman looked up at him. He thought she might be on the verge of tears. It was hard to tell with all that mud on her face.
"I'm having a very bad day," she whispered.
"Demoiselle, your wits are most definitely addled. 'Tis no longer daytime. 'Tis well past midnight."
She nodded numbly. "You're right."
Miles looked down at her and, despite his better judgment, felt a small stirring of pity. She was shivering. What she truly was, he couldn't tell, but she had come banging on his gates in the middle of the night seeking refuge. How could he refuse her?
He jammed the torch into a wall sconce, then turned back and looked at her.
"Are you alone?"
She nodded again, silently.
"No retainers lie in wait, ready to storm my keep and take it by force after I let you in?"
She looked up at him and blinked. "Retainers?"
"Men-at-arms."
"No. Just me and my stinky self."
Miles almost smiled. "Very well, then. The both of you may come in. I'll raise the gate just far enough for you to wriggle under, agreed?"
"Whatever you say."
Miles propped his sword up against the wall and trudged up the steps to the upper floor of the gatehouse. For all he knew, the woman could be lying. She could very possibly be a decoy some Lowland laird had sent to prepare the way for an assault.
He found himself cranking up the portcullis just the same.
"Are you inside?" he called down.
He heard a faint answer in the affirmative. He released the crank and the portcullis slammed home. Miles thumped down the circular steps. He realized as he retrieved his sword and the torch that he was relieved to find both still in their places. The years had taken their toll, he thought with a regretful sigh.
Well, at least the woman was still alone and not accompanied by two score of armed men. That wouldn't have done much for his mood. His guest was standing just inside the gate. She smiled at him, seemingly a little self-conscious.
"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this. I need a bath and then I'd like to look for my cat."
"Cat?" His nose began to twitch at the very thought of such a beast. He rubbed the possibly offended appendage almost without thought. "Cat, did you say?"
"You're allergic?" she asked.
"Allergic?"
She looked at him closely. "You know, you sneeze when you smell one?"
"Aye, that I do, demoiselle. If your beastie has wandered into my keep, I daresay we'll have no trouble locating him."
She laughed. Miles found himself smiling in response. Saints above, he was going daft. He'd just let a stranger inside his gates without demanding to know aught of her business save that she was seeking a missing feline. Her person did nothing to recommend her—especially since it was all he could do to breathe the same air she occupied. But her laugh was enchanting.
Without warning, Miles felt a surge of good humor well up in him. 'Twas true he could have remained at Artane and joined in the festivities eventually, but if he had, he wouldn't be standing at his gates with this woman. Beyond reason, he couldn't help but think he'd made the right choice.
He made her a small bow. "Miles of Artane, lately of Speningethorpe, your servant." He straightened and gave her his best lordly look. She didn't respond. He cleared his throat. Perhaps she merely needed something else to be impressed by. No sense in not making use of his connections. "My sire is Rhys de Piaget," he said. "Lord of Artane."
She looked at him blankly.
"You know him not?" Miles asked, surprised. His father's reputation stretched from Hadrian's wall to the Holy Land. And what reputation Rhys hadn't managed to spread, Miles's older brothers Robin and Nicholas had seen to. Surely this woman knew something of his family.
Her mouth worked, but nothing came out.
"Saints, lady, even the lairds in the Lowlands know of my sire."
She swallowed. "I think I'm really losing it here."
Miles frowned. "What have you lost?"
"My mind." She shook her head, as if that would somehow solve the problem. It must not have helped, because she gathered herself together and gave the whole of her a good, hard shake.
Miles hastily backed up to avoid wearing what she'd shaken off.
"Look," she said with a frown, "I'm confused. Now, am I in hell, or not? Telling me the truth is the least you can do."
"Nay, lady, you are not in hell," he said. "As I said before, you are at Speningethorpe. 'Tis in the north of England, on the Scottish border."
"And you're Miles of Ar-something, lately of this other Spending place, right?"
Close enough. "Aye."
She shook her head. "Impossible. I can't be in England. I was in Freezing Bluff, Michigan, half an hour ago. I fell into a pond." She was starting to wheeze. "I couldn't have resurfaced in England. Things like this just don't happen!" Her voice was growing increasingly frantic.
"Perhaps the chill has bewildered you," he offered.
"I'm not bewildered! I smell too bad to be bewildered!"
He had to agree, but he refrained from saying so.
"England! Geez! And backwoods England at that!"
"Backwoods?" he echoed.
"Backwoods," she repeated. She looked at him accusingly. "I bet you don't have running water, do you?"
Miles gestured apologetically toward the moat. "I fear the water runs nowhere. Hence the less than pleasing smell—"
"Or a phone?"
"Phone?" he echoed.
"Oh, great!" she exclaimed. "This is just great! No phone, no running water. I bet I'll have to haul my own water for a bath too, right?"
"Nay, lady. I will see to that for you." Let her think he was being polite. In reality, he didn't want her moving overmuch inside. She was sopping wet and he didn't want moat water being dripped all over his hall, sty that it was. Having the cesspit emptied into the moat had seemed a fine deterrent to attackers at the time, but he wondered about the wisdom of it now.
"Look," she said, planting her hands on her fluffy waist, "I appreciate the hospitality, such as it is, but what I really need from you is a bath, some hot chocolate and a bed, pretty much in that order. Sir Sweetums will have to wait until tomorrow. Things will look brighter in the morning." She said the last as if she dared him to disagree with her.
So he nodded, as if he did agree with her.
"And then I'll figure out where the hell I am."
He nodded again. Whatever else she planned, she certainly needed a bath. Perhaps her wits would return with a bit of cleanliness.
"Garretts never have hysterics," she said sternly, wagging her finger at him.
"Ah," he said, wisely. "Good to know." The saints only knew what hysterics were, but he had the feeling he should be relieved the woman before him never had them.
"You are a Garrett?" he surmised.
"Abigail Moira Garrett."
"Abigail," he repeated.
"Right. But don't call me that. Only my grandmother called me that, and only when I was doing something I shouldn't have been. Call me Abby."
"I like Abigail better," he stated.
She gave him a dark look. "Well, we'll work on that later. Now, let's go get that bath, shall we?"
Miles watched her march off toward the stables. He smiled in spite of himself. The saints only knew from whence this creature had sprung, but that didn't trouble him. He'd seen many strange things in his travels. He liked her spirit. She made him smile with her bluster and babble.
"Miles?"
"Aye, Abigail?"
"I can't see where I'm going," she said, sounding as if that were entirely his doing.
"That shouldn't matter, as the direction you've chosen is the wrong one. The great hall is this way."
She appeared within the circle of his torchlight again. "Great hall? What's so great about it? Do you have central heat? What, no phone but a great furnace?"
Miles didn't even attempt to understand her. He inclined his head to his right. "This way, my lady. I'll see to a bath for you."
He led her to the hall, ushered her inside and rehung the torch. He set the bar back across the door. That was when he heard her begin to wheeze again.
"Garretts do not faint. Garretts do not faint."
"I'll be back for you when the tub is filled," he said, giving her his most reassuring smile. "Things will look better after a bath."
She nodded. "Garretts do not faint," she answered.
Miles laughed to himself as he crossed the hall to the entrance to the kitchens. If she continued to tell herself that, she just might believe it.

Chapter Three
abby sat in a crude wooden washtub and contemplated life and its mysteries. It gave her a headache, but she contemplated just the same. Gar-retts didn't shy away from the difficult.
No phone, no electricity, and no Mini Mart down the street. Things were looking grim. She looked around her and the grimness increased. Had she stumbled upon a pocket of backwoodsiness so undiscovered that it resembled something from the Middle Ages? The fire in the hearth gave enough light to illuminate a kitchen containing stone floors, rough-hewn tables and crude black kettles. Not exactly Better Homes and Gardens worthy.
Abby stood up and rinsed off with water of questionable cleanliness. She wasn't sure she felt much better. Even the soap Miles had given her was gross. She decided right then that she was a low fat person, especially when it came to soap. At least she thought she'd just washed with a glob of animal fat. She filed that away with half a dozen other things she would digest later. On the brighter side, though, at least she didn't smell so much like a sewer anymore. She'd splurge on a fancy bar of soap when she got home.
She dried off with a completely inadequate piece of cloth, then looked at what Miles had given her to wear: coarse homespun tights and a coarse linen tunic. Not exactly off-the-rack garments, but they would do. She put the clothes on, sans her dripping wet underthings, and found, not surprisingly, that Miles' hand-me-downs were much too large. They might have fit if she'd kept her oversized down coat on under them, but there was no wearing that at present. She kept the tights hitched up with one hand while she dumped her clothes and coat into the washtub with the other. She'd let them soak for a while. She didn't want to wash her leather Keds, but she had no choice. She dunked them in the tub a few times with everything else.
"Hachoo!"
The sneeze echoed in the great hall. Abby dropped her shoes in the tub and ran for the doorway. She slipped and skidded her way out into the large gathering hall. Miles was standing by the wood piled high in the middle of the room, sneezing for all he was worth. He looked at her and scowled.
"Dab cat," he said, dragging his sleeve across his furiously tearing eyes.
"Where?" Abby said, looking around frantically. "Sir Sweetums! Here, kitty, kitty."
She saw a flash of something head toward the back of the hall.
"Damn cat," she exclaimed, taking a firm grip on her borrowed clothes and giving chase. "Come back here!"
"Abigail, wait!"
Oh, like Miles would be any help in catching the spirited feline. Abby scrambled up the tight, circular stairs, almost losing her balance and the bottom half of her clothes.
"Here, kitty, kitty—whoa!"
She would have fallen face first into nothingness if it hadn't been for that arm suddenly around her waist, pulling her back from the gaping hole that was the top of the stairs.
"We're missing some of the passageway and a good deal of roof," Miles said, panting. "By the saints, woman, you frightened me!"
His fingers investigated a bit more around her waist. Abby would have elbowed him, but her situation was too precarious.
"What happened to your middle?" he asked. "And your arms?" He frisked her expertly. "Saints, I thought you were excessively plump!"
"That was my down coat, you creep. Stop groping me!"
"Hrumph," he said. His fingers stilled, but he didn't move. "Just what manner of woman are you, Abigail Garrett?"
"One on the verge of heart failure—if Garretts had heart failure, which we do not. Now, can we please go back downstairs? It's really drafty up here." She looked out into the shadows. "And I've lost Sir Sweetums again." She had the most ridiculous urge to sit down and cry. "Just when I thought I had him. But how can I have him? He's gone." An unbidden tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm losing it." She sighed heavily. "I'll be the first in my family to go that way, you know. Garretts never lose it. We die in flamboyant, reckless ways. We never go quietly. Except me. I'm such a familial failure."
"The only place you are going, Abigail, is to a chair before the fire. You'll catch the ague here in this night air."
"Don't call me Abigail."
He grunted. "Turn around and keep hold of my hand. These stairs are steep."
Abby followed him, because he had her hand in his and didn't seem to want to let go. She didn't want to go downstairs. She wanted to keep her eyes peeled for her cat, who should have been chasing butterflies in heaven. Instead, he was causing an allergic reaction to an inhabitant of hell.
"I'm tired," she said.
And with that, she pitched forward. She felt herself be caught and lifted.
"Saints, woman, but you are a mystery."
"I can't handle any more tonight," Abby whispered.
She felt herself lowered onto something relatively soft.
"Then take your rest, slight one. Things will look better in the morning."
Abby thought they just might, especially since the last thing she heard was a sneeze.

abby woke, stretched, and shuddered. What a lousy night. And what an awful dream! Too many chocolate chips eaten straight from the bag. She'd have to coat them in cookie dough the next time around to diffuse the impact.
She rolled out of bed with her eyes closed, mentally halfway to the shower before her feet hit the floor.
"Oof!" the floor exclaimed.
Abby stumbled as the floor under her feet moved. She would have hit the ground if it hadn't been for those hands that came out of nowhere and caught her. How it happened she couldn't have said, but she soon found herself sprawled out over a long, impressively muscled form, staring down into dark eyes. She looked in them for several moments before she figured out their color. Gray. Dark gray. Like storm clouds.
So, it wasn't a dream. Miles of Spend-whatever held her up just far enough for her to get a good look at his face. She really felt as though she should be polite and get up, but she found she just couldn't.
The torchlight from last night just hadn't done justice to this guy. Maybe she'd been distracted at the time by the clamoring her sense of smell had set up. She must have smelled very badly. It was the only possible reason she could have done anything besides gape at the man she was currently using as a beanbag.
She propped her elbows up on his chest and took advantage of her vantage point. He was a stunner, even if he was a little bit on the unkempt side thanks to an abundance of shaggy dark hair and a stubble-covered chin. He was beautiful in a rough, mountain man kind of way. He probably lived off the land for months at a time. No fighting for mirror space with this guy, no sir. Abby felt her blood pressure increase at the thought. He probably limited his toilette to dragging his hands through his hair a few times each day and shaving when his face got too itchy. She had the feeling he didn't use hairspray or mousse—which meant her feet wouldn't stick to his bathroom floor. Oh, yes, this was her kind of man. Handsome and low-maintenance.
"Hmmm," she said.
"Hmmm," he replied.
He was giving her the same once-over. He reached up and fingered her hair. It was unruly hair, she knew, and she opened her mouth to make an excuse for the riot of auburn curls, when he met her gaze and smiled.
"You have beautiful hair, Abigail."
Okay, if he wanted to like it, he was welcome to.
"Indeed, you clean up very passably."
"What do you mean I clean up just passably?" she demanded. "I was giving you much higher marks than that."
He grinned. "Indeed."
Abby tried to hold onto her annoyance, but it didn't last long against the dimple that appeared in his cheek.
"Oh, you are cute," she said, feeling a little breathless.
"I take that to mean you find me tolerable to look at."
"Who, you? Of course not. I was just talking about your dimple. The rest of you isn't even passable."
He laughed. "Disrespectful wench. You've no idea whom you're insulting."
"At least I gave you credit for one decent feature," she grumbled. She started to move off him, then got a good look at his floor. "Geez, Miles, what's the deal with your living room here? Are you planning on bringing barnyard animals inside anytime soon?"
He sighed. "I know the rushes need changing."
"Yeech," she said, climbing gingerly onto the bed. It was then she realized that she'd slept on a bed while he'd slept on a blanket on the floor. On the rotting hay, rather. She frowned at him. "Why didn't you just go sleep in another bed?"
"There is no other bed."
"Well," she said, slowly, "I appreciate the gallant gesture, but you wouldn't have had to make it if you didn't run such a lousy hotel. You know, inn," she clarified at his blank look.
He shook his head, with a small smile. "This is no inn, my lady."
"Spend-whatever. If that isn't a name for an inn, I don't know what is."
"Speningethorpe. 'Tis the name of my hall. I know 'tisn't much, but it gave me peace and quiet."
"Until last night."
He shrugged. "Perhaps too much peace and quiet isn't a good thing."
"All right," she said, crossing her legs underneath herself, "if you don't run an inn, what do you do? Is it just you here?" At that moment a surprisingly distressing thought occurred to her. "Are you married?" she demanded. She looked around. "Is there a wife hiding in here somewhere? This is all I need—"
A large hand came to rest over her mouth. Miles sat up, then took his hand away.
"Nay, no wife. Women do not like me."
"Really?" she asked, looking at him and finding that very hard to believe. "Good grief, is everyone blind here in backwoods England?" She clapped her own hand over her mouth when she realized what she'd said. "I meant—"
He was grinning. "I know what you meant, Abigail. And I thank you for the compliment. But even though I am a knight with land of my own, women don't care overmuch for my past accomplishments."
"And just what would those be?" Great. Out of all the places she could have resurfaced, she'd resurfaced in the moat of someone with questionable past accomplishments.
But at least he had accomplishments. And what was this business about being a knight? Maybe that was why he carried a sword. Abby looked at him thoughtfully. It couldn't hurt to reserve judgment until she found out more about him. She realized that she was already stacking him up against her Ideal Man list, but she could hardly help herself. After all, he had given her the only bed in his house. He was easily the most appealing man she had seen in years. He liked her hair. He had a great accent. He wasn't much of a housekeeper, but that could be fixed. The first thing to do was move the barn-like accoutrements outside—
"—burn me at the stake—"
"Huh?" she exclaimed, turning back in. "Run that one by me again."
He looked at her with a frown. "Haven't you been listening?"
"No. I've been cataloging your good points. I don't think this is one of them."
He shook his head with a slow smile. "I was telling you that I'd just recently escaped being burned at the stake. For heresy."
"For what?"
"Heresy—which was a lie, of course. I had simply made the grave error of expressing my views on the Crusades," Miles said. "I was traveling through France this past fall, having just returned from the Holy Land, where I saw and heard tell of ruthless slaughter. To be sure, I could find nothing to recommend the whole Crusading affair. One night I sought shelter at an inn. I slipped well into my cups, but came back to myself a goodly while after I'd already disparaged my table companion, a man I soon learned was a former Crusader and a powerful French count."
"And what did he do to you? Threaten a lawsuit?" Trouble with the law, Abby noted. That could definitely be a mark in the negative column.
Miles smiled. "The law had nothing to do with it, my lady. He sent for his bishop, threw together an impromptu inquisition—of souls without any authority, I might add—and convicted me of both heresy and witchcraft."
"Witchcraft?" Abby eased herself back on the bed. There was no doubt about that being a red flag.
He snorted. "Aye, if you can stomach that. The count's witnesses— paid for handsomely, of course—claimed they had seen me conversing with my familiar."
"And that would be?"
"A fluffy black cat."
Abby laughed. "Oh, right. That would have been a pretty one-sided conversation, what with you sneezing your head off."
Miles smiled. "I laughed as well, at first. I sobered abruptly when I saw the wood piled high around the stake and one of the count's men standing there with a lit torch."
"Good grief," she said, "they really weren't going to do it, were they? What kind of backwater town were you in, anyway? Hadn't they ever heard of Amnesty International? Human rights activists would have been all over this."
"I daresay the count's men had heard of many things, yet they fully intended to do the man's bidding. They secured me to the post, but not without a goodly struggle on my part."
Abby was speechless. What was the world coming to? She made a mental note to avoid rural France as a travel destination.
"The count had taken the torch himself and was giving me a last fanatical spewing forth of religious prattle when a miracle occurred." Abby found she was clutching the edge of the bed with both hands. "What?" she breathed. "A downpour?"
Miles laughed. "'Twould have been fitting, to be sure. Nay, 'twas my grandsire, whom I had been traveling to meet. His men overcame the count's, he set me free and I fled like a kicked whelp, not even bothering to offer him a kiss of peace. Needless to say, my journeying in France was thereafter very short-lived."
"Did you tell the police about that guy? What a nutcase!"
"Police?" he echoed, stumbling over the word. "What is that?"
Abby frowned. "You know, the authorities."
"Ah," Miles said, nodding, "you mean Louis. Nay, I did not think it wise to chance a visit to court. My grandsire sent word a fortnight after I arrived home telling me that he'd seen the matter settled." Miles said pleasantly. "The sly old fox has something of a reputation. I daresay he applied the sword liberally, as well as informing the king of what went on."
"Sword?" Well, Miles seemed to have one handy. Maybe his entire family had a thing about metal. "And what do you mean he informed the king?" she asked. "What king?"
"Louis. Louis IX, King of France."
"But France doesn't have a king," she pointed out.
"Aye, it does."
"No, it doesn't. It has a president."
"Nay, it has a king. Louis IX. A good king, as far as they go."
Abby scrambled to her feet, careful to keep them on blanket-covered floor. As an afterthought, she made a grab for her tights to keep them from falling to her knees.
"France does not have a king," she insisted.
Miles jumped to his feet just as quickly.
"How can you not know of King Louis?" he asked.
"What is he, some fringe guy trying to overthrow the government?"
"He's the bloody king of that whole realm!" Miles exclaimed. He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Next you will tell me that you know nothing of Henry."
"Henry who?"
"Henry III, King of England!"
"No, no, no," she said, shaking her head. "Henry isn't king. There's little prince Harry, but he's just the spare heir. Elizabeth is queen."
"Elizabeth? Who is Elizabeth?"
He was starting to sound as exasperated as she felt.
"All right," she said, taking a deep breath. "Let's start from the beginning. And can we go sit by the fire? I'm cold."
"Gladly," Miles said. He shoved his feet into boots, then clomped over to the pile of logs in the middle of the room and built up the fire.
Abby tiptoed gingerly into the kitchen and put on her Keds. They weren't as dry as they could have been, but it beat the heck out of wearing more of Miles's floor on the bottoms of her tights than she was already. She squished her way over to the fire to face her scowling host.
Miles folded his arms across his chest. "Let us see if we cannot untangle this snarl inside your head."
"My head?" she said. "I'm not the one who's confused."
"Aye, but you are!"
"I am not! France does not have a king, and neither does England. England has a queen and her name is Elizabeth!"
"It has a king and his name is Henry!"
Abby smirked. "I'd say let's turn on the TV and see what the local newscaster says, but I'll bet you don't have a TV either, do you?"
"Nay, I do not," he said, stiffly. "Nor would I have one."
"Ha," she said. "You don't even know what a TV is."
He scowled fiercely. "Aye, I do."
"Do not."
"How would you know what I do and do not know?"
"You don't have any electricity, bucko. It's a dead giveaway."
He growled at her. "You are a most infuriating woman."
"Really?" she said, surprised. She smiled suddenly. "How nice. I've always wanted to be infuriating. It looks like the Garrett blood is really coming out. My grandmother would be so proud." 
"I think I'd like to wring it all from you, for 'tis most—ha . . . ha ... hachoo!"
Abby barely stepped aside in time to avoid the product of his violent sneeze. She grabbed his arm.
"Hush," she whispered, frantically. "Sir Sweetums has to be nearby."
Miles panted through his mouth. "Sir Sweetubs? What kind of a nabe is that for a bloody cat?"
"It's a term of endearment. Like this: sweetie pie, honey bunch, snookums." She tickled him under the chin for effect. "See?"
Miles scowled. "I see noth—ha . . . ha—"
Abby put her finger under his nose to plug it. "Don't even think about it, toots. We've got a kitty to find. Don't make any sudden moves."
She kept her finger under his nose as they turned slowly in a circle.
"See anything?" she whispered.
"Nay."
"Keep looking."
They turned another circle and Miles froze suddenly. "There," he said, softly.
Sir Sweetums was sitting next to the hall door.
"Perhaps he will cobe if you call to hib," Miles said, breathing through his mouth. He was obviously fighting his sneeze.
"Here, kitty, kitty," Abby said. She beckoned. "Come here, Sir Sweetums. Miles won't hurt you. He likes cats."
Miles muffled a sneeze in his sleeve.
"All right, his nose doesn't, but the rest of him does."
Abby took a step forward. Sir Sweetums got to his feet, gave her a meow she couldn't quite interpret, turned on his heel and, with his tail held high, walked through the door.
Through the closed door.
Miles staggered. He threw his arms around her and clutched her.
"Merciful St. Michael," he breathed. "I did not see what I just saw."
Abby would have felt the same way, but she had inside information. It was hard to swallow, but she had the feeling Sir Maximillian Sweetums was a ghost. She held onto her shaking host and wondered just how to break the news to him.
"Things of this nature do not happen," Miles said, his voice hushed. " Tis a modern age. I do not believe what I have just seen."
Abby looked up at him. "Honey, I think you're living in the past. Everyone else has indoor plumbing."
"How much more modern an age can it be?" he asked, returning her look, his eyes wide. "I don't care overmuch for his politics, but King Henry is a most forward-thinking monarch."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, brother. Not that again."
"Aye, that again," he said, some of the color returning to his face. He released his deathgrip on her and stepped back a pace. "Saints, woman, where have you been?"
"Out to lunch," she returned, "obviously."
"Henry rules England," he insisted.
"No, he doesn't."
"By the very saints of heaven, you are a stubborn maid! Have you forgotten the bloody year? Who else would sit the throne in 1238?"
Abby blinked. "Huh?"
Miles clapped his free hand to his head. "That swim addled your wits, Abigail."
"What did you say before?" she managed. "What year?"
"1238. The Year of Our Lord 1238!"
Abby kept breathing. She knew that because she had to remind herself to do it. In, out, in, out. Twelve-thirty-eight, twelve-thirty-eight. She breathed in and out to that rhythm.
It couldn't be true. She looked around her at the stone room. There weren't any fireplaces; just Miles s bonfire in the middle of the room. No electricity, no central heat, no carpet. The walls were bare, leaving their stone selves fully open to perusal. No twentieth-century construction job there.
She looked down. There was stone beneath her feet, what she could feel of it beneath the layer of scum and hay. She looked around again. There were a pair of crude wooden tables near the walls, and chairs that looked rustically crafted. But that was the extent of the furniture. She took a deep breath. Well, the place certainly smelled like 1238.
She looked up at Miles. He stood in homespun clothing exactly like hers, wearing a very medieval frown. He didn't have the benefit of modern grooming aids, if his finger-combed hair and non-ironed tunic were any clue. He'd definitely been packing a sword the night before. He'd said he was a knight. Could that be true too?
Abby looked toward the door. Maybe if she stepped outside into the fresh air, she might have a different perspective on things.
She wanted to saunter across the great hall casually, but she had the feeling it had come out as more of a frantic get-me-the-hell-back-to-my-century kind of run.
She struggled with the heavy wooden beam that obviously served as a dead bolt in 1238. Heavy hands came to rest on her shoulders.
"Abigail—"
"Let me out!" she shrieked.
"Abigail—" he said, starting to sound a bit concerned.
Abby wasn't just a bit concerned. She was on the verge of having hysterics—and she was starting not to care just exactly what Garretts did and did not do.
"Please!" she begged.
Miles heaved the beam aside and opened the door, in spite of her attempts to help. She ran outside.
It was raining. She slogged straight into three inches of muck.
"Yuck!" she exclaimed.
She would have run anywhere just to be running, but she couldn't seem to get her feet unstuck from the goo.
"Abigail."
Before she could tell Miles just what had her so frantic, she found herself turned around bodily and gathered against a very firm, very warm body. Without giving his good or bad points any more thought, she threw her arms around him and clung.
"Oh, man," she said, feeling herself beginning to wheeze again. It was a nasty habit she'd gotten into lately. She was certain wheezing was something no respectable Garrett ever found herself doing. "Oh, man, oh, man," she wheezed again.
"By the saints, you're trembling," Miles said, sounding surprised. He stroked her back with his large hand. "There's nothing to fear, Abigail."
"It's 1238!" she exclaimed against his very rough, very un-depart-ment-store-like shirt.
"See?" Miles said, obviously trying to sound soothing. "You've remembered the year. Tis a most encouraging sign. I'm certain 'twas simply a bit of chill that seeped into your head and addled your wits for a time. Reason is most definitely returning to you."
Abby felt her tights beginning to slip and she made a grab for them before they migrated any further south. She tilted her head back and looked at Miles.
"It really is 1238, isn't it?" she whispered. "And you really are Miles of Spendingthorn—"
"Speningethorpe—"
"Whatever, and you really are a knight, aren't you?"
"For what it is worth, aye, I am."
Well, stranger things had happened. Like Sir Sweetums walking through a thick, wooden plank of a door.
Then there was her trip down into Murphy's Pond the night before to consider. That had taken an awfully long time, hadn't it?
But seven hundred years?
She rested her nose against Miles's chest and contemplated. Garretts didn't faint. Garretts didn't run away from difficulties. Garretts didn't lose their marbles.
Funny, she'd never heard anything about Garretts not time-traveling.
She looked up at Miles. "You don't believe in witches, do you?"
He smiled faintly. "Having come within scorching distance of a healthy bonfire myself, I would have to say nay, I do not believe in witches."
"Then I think you should sit down."
"Why?"
"Because you're going to fall down when I tell you what I have to tell you. It'll hurt less if you're closer to the ground." 
Miles looked at her archly. "The de Piagets of Artane do not faint."
Abby reached up and patted him on his beautiful cheek. "There's a first time for everything, toots."
"Toots? Why do you persist in calling me that?"
Abby took his hand and pulled him back inside the hall. He'd just have to trust her on this one.
And she definitely hoped he'd meant what he'd said about the witch thing, or she was certain her revelations would land her in the fire.
Chapter Four
miles frowned TO himself as he allowed Abigail to pull him back inside his hall. Something had obviously troubled her deeply, if her frantic flight from his fire was any indication. But what? She had looked at him as if she were seeing a ghost.
He realized abruptly that he was allowing himself to be led and he dug in his heels. Abigail stopped and looked at him with that same, almost frantic look. Miles held his ground.
"Whatever you have to tell me, you may most certainly tell me while we are standing. Indeed, I insist upon it."
He looked down at her as he said it, and wondered if she shouldn't be the one sitting down. She was very pale. Saints, had she suffered some sort of injury that had damaged her mind so that she barely remembered the date?
He lifted his hands and cupped her face, rubbing his thumbs gently across her cheeks. Her skin was so soft and fair. Perhaps she was a nobleman's daughter who had become lost and wandered into his moat. Never mind how she was dressed. It was possible her sire employed seamstresses with very odd ideas on fashion. He should have questioned her sooner about her family, but he'd been too bemused by her actions the night before, then too unsettled by the appearance and disappearance of her cat today to think too deeply.
She caught his right hand and looked at it. "You have more calluses on this hand than the other."
"Of course," he said.
"Why?"
" Tis my swordarm, Abigail." He put his callused hand to her brow. She wasn't feverish. Indeed, she was chilled. "Perhaps we should repair to the fire," he said, pulling her in that direction, "then you should tell me of yourself. Forgive me for not having asked sooner. Your sire will no doubt be grieved over your loss. I will take you to him as soon as may be—"
"Honey," she said, "I think you should sit."
"Why do you call me honey?" he asked, finding himself being urged toward a chair. He sat to humor her.
"It's a term of endearment."
"Like Sir Sweetums?" he asked. "Saints, what a name!"
He would have expressed himself further on that, but Abigail had pulled up a stool in front of him and sat. The tunic he had given her to wear fell off one of her shoulders. It was exceedingly distracting.
He looked at her face and instantly ceased to mark what she said. He knew her lips were moving, but he couldn't concentrate on her strangely-accented words. There were surely a score of things that puzzled him about her, but he couldn't seem to focus his thoughts on a bloody one of them. All he could do was gaze at the woman before him and marvel.
Saying she cleaned up passing well was an understatement. Where she had come by that riotous mass of hair he did not know, but it certainly suited her. He could almost hear her saying it: "Garrett hair is never obedient." He smiled at the thought. Indeed, Abigail's hair seemed to be a reflection of the woman herself—beyond the bounds of reason or propriety.
And if her spirit hadn't intrigued him, her comeliness certainly would have. He found himself entirely distracted by thoughts of running hands and mouth over that bit of shoulder she couldn't seem to keep covered up. He followed the curve of her shoulder out to her arm and down to her hand. It was then he realized she was snapping her fingers at him.
"The lights are on but nobody's home," she was saying.
"Ah," he stalled, "I was thinking on your words."
She jerked up her tunic over her shoulder. His tunic—his clothing that was covering her lithe body, much as he wanted to be doing. Miles was on the verge of allowing himself to be distracted by that thought when Abigail waved at him.
"Come on, Miles," she said, sounding exasperated. "Pay attention. I'm trying to tell you something very important."
He blinked at her. "Oh."
She sighed with exaggerated patience. "Are you with me now?"
"Indeed, we are sitting here together."
She dropped her face to her hands and laughed. Miles couldn't help himself. He reached out and ran his hand over her hair. It was pleasingly soft to the touch. It was not so dark as his, and with somewhat of a reddish tint to it. It was hair he wished he could sink his hands into as he sank another part of himself—
"Good grief!" Abigail exclaimed, jerking back upright. "Can't you just concentrate on what I'm saying for five minutes?"
"I'd rather concentrate on kissing you, if it's all the same to you," he offered.
"No," she said, firmly. "I'm serious about this."
And, suddenly, the truth struck him like a blow. He sat back and felt the blood leave his face. She was betrothed. How could he not have seen it before? Either that, or she was wed. She was no simpering maid who had to rely on her sire for every breath she took and every word to come out of her mouth. Abigail was far too sure of herself. She was likely of an age with his own score and four years, surely old enough to have been wed several years.
"Go ahead," he said, flatly, "Tell me of him."
"Who, Brett? How do you know about Brett?"
Damn. Knowing he had surmised correctly was no consolation.
"I assumed," he said curtly.
He should have stayed at Artane. What in hell's name had possessed him to come here? To hold Abigail Moira Garrett in his arms and feel himself falling in love with her unruly hair and indomitable spirit? What had made him think she might even be free? What fool would let her go, once he had her?
And who had he been to think she might want him? Lord of his own hall though he might have been—but what a hall! The farmland surrounding his keep had lain fallow for years. The forests were likely thick with thieves. And it wasn't as if he could go to the continent to better his situation. There was most certainly no welcome for him in France, despite how generous Louis might be with his understanding. He had been accused of witchcraft. What would Abigail want with a husband of that ilk?
"—and when I lost my job, he broke up with me and took off. Next door, to be exact. To Bunny Ann Bartlett's apartment."
But, oh, to have had the chance to try to win her. He looked at her and, to his surprise, felt himself longing for the chance like he'd longed for nothing else in years, save his knight's spurs. To hear his name come from those lush lips with the same tones of love as she used when speaking of her husband—
"—a total putz. He kept bottles of hairspray and mousse at my apartment for emergency touch-ups. There were times I had to take a putty knife to the bathroom floor just to get the stuff up—"
To be the one she gazed at with longing, to be the one she welcomed to her bed each night—
"—of course, I think it's because I wouldn't sleep with him. Garretts don't do that until after marriage, you know. So, he left me. Bunny probably hit the sheets with him the minute he walked through her door."
Miles blinked. He realized he hadn't heard everything she'd said. And he'd understood even less.
"Bunny?" he asked.	
"Brett's new girlfriend. They're getting married soon."
"Your husband is marrying someone else?"
Abigail looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Husband! Are you kidding? I never would have married that creep! I only got engaged to him because I was so miserable after Sir Sweetums met his unhappy kitty end. I knew Brett never really wanted to marry me. He was just using me for my ultra hold mousse."
Miles shook his head, feeling mightily confused. "Then you aren't wed?"
"Of course not!"
"Oh," he said. 
Then he understood.
"Aaahh," he said, feeling himself start to smile. He couldn't help it. A feeling of relief started at his toes and worked its way upward until it settled on his mouth. "The saints be praised for that!"
Abigail leaned forward and felt his forehead. "You aren't feverish," she muttered.
"Indeed, I am most certainly not," he said, grasping her hand and hauling her onto his lap. He beamed at her. "And you are not wed."
"Boy, nothing gets by you, does it?"
He ignored her mocking tone in favor of contemplating his next action. "I believe I've heard enough," he announced. "I'm going to kiss you now."
She eluded his lips and managed to slip out of his arms and plant herself back on her stool. Miles frowned.
"Perhaps I was unclear—" he began, reaching for her again.
"Miles!"
"What?" he said, feeling his frown settle into a scowl.
"You can't kiss me. You haven't heard what I have to tell you."
"You aren't wed. What else could I possibly need to know?"
She clapped her hands on her knees, then rose with exaggerated care. "I am having a serious case of low blood sugar and you are not helping matters. I need something to eat. I don't suppose you have anything with chocolate in it, do you?"
"Chocolate?"
"Of course not," she groaned and walked off toward the kitchen. "It's too early in time for chocolate."
Miles followed after her grumbling self into his pitifully kept kitchen. He watched her rummage through the stores his father's men had unloaded onto one of the tables, and found himself wondering just what it was she had to tell him. Had she left her home without permission? There was her former fiance to consider. The betrothal had been broken, obviously, but was that enough to have made her flee her home?
"Abigail," he said, "perhaps then you should tell me of your sire. I will no doubt need to get word to him that you are well." There, now he would have the entire tale.
She turned around with a loaf of bread in her hand. "You can't," she said, softly. "He's dead."
"Oh," Miles said, quietly. "Forgive me."
She smiled. "You couldn't have known."
Miles moved to stand next to her. He broke off a hunk of bread. "Did he die well?"
"He fell off the side of a mountain. My mother fell off trying to catch him."
"A glorious and astounding finish, as is right. I'm sorry, though, Abigail. You must miss them very much."
She shrugged and chewed slowly.
"No other family? Uncles? Aunts? Siblings?"
She swallowed and looked up at him. "They're a bit too far away to contact."
"Word can be sent."
She shook her head.
He frowned. "The world is not that large, Abigail, and I have seen a great deal of it. Now where is this place you come from—Frozen Muff?"
"Freezing Bluff. It's in Michigan."
That was surely no place he'd ever heard of, but he was loath to admit his ignorance.
"Scotland," he guessed.
"Not even close."
"Hmmm," he said, frowning. "Where exactly is Freezing Bluff, if not in the north?"
Abigail set her bread aside. She took Miles's bread away from him and put it on the table, too. Then she looked up at him slowly.
"Where isn't exactly the right question." She paused for a goodly while, then looked at him soberly. "When is, though."
He frowned. "What mean you by that?"
She clasped her hands behind her back. "I think you're right about Henry. He probably was king in 1238."
"I see you've finally come to your senses—what mean you was? He still is."
"If you're living in 1238."
"Which I am." Saints, perhaps that swim had truly addled her wits.
"Which I wasn't—yesterday."
Miles shook his head. "I don't understand."
"Elizabeth is queen in my day."
"Your day?"
"1996."
"1996?" he whispered.
"The Year of Our Lord 1996," Abby said, slowly and distinctly. "Seven hundred years in the future."
Miles blinked. He looked at her head. No horns. He reached out and put his hands on her shoulders. She looked perfectly sane. She felt perfectly normal.
"1996," he repeated. The very numbers felt foreign on his tongue.
He looked at Abigail again. Was it possible? Could she have been living and breathing in another time one moment, then found herself alive in his time the next? Saints above, the thought left him with his head spinning.
Indeed, the entire room seemed to be spinning.
"Miles!"
He felt Abigail throw her arms around him. It didn't help. The stone of the kitchen floor came up to meet him. Abruptly.
"Oof," he managed, as Abigail landed on his stomach.
"I saved your head," she panted.
"My gratitude," Miles said, realizing that indeed her fingers were between his head and the unyielding floor. "Truly."
"I thought men from Artane didn't faint."
Miles could only manage a grunt. Words were beyond him. He was lying on his kitchen floor with a woman sprawled over him who supposedly lived in a time well past when the world should have ended. With great effort, he flopped his arms around her and held on. She felt like a true woman. She spoke a bit strangely, and used words he had to puzzle out, but now knowing her background, he could understand it. Background? Saints, her background was his foreground. Her past was his future. He groaned. He didn't spare much effort in doubting her. If he could believe he'd seen her cat walk through his hall door, he could believe this. But, by the saints, the very thought of it hurt his head.
And then the truth of the matter struck him with the force of a charging horse.
He couldn't keep her.
He groaned again, from deep within his soul. Merciful St. Christopher, he could not keep her! How could he, when she belonged in another time so completely foreign to his? She had a life there, a life that should be lived. How could he sentence her to a life at Speningethorpe? It wasn't even Artane, with its modern comforts, that he offered. His hall was no better than a stable. Surely she was used to luxuries he couldn't imagine. How could he rob her of that?
He pushed her gently away and struggled to sit up.
"I'll find a way to send you back," he said, flatly. "Today."
"What?"
"Back home!" he snapped, looking at her with a glare. "Ill find a way to get you back to your home. Damnation, Abigail, I'll do it as soon as I've caught my breath."
"You'll send me back?" she asked.
Miles gritted his teeth. "Of course!" He lurched to his feet and grasped the table for support. "As bloody quick as I can!"
She was silent for several moments, long enough for him to catch his breath and regain his balance. His vision cleared just in time to see her expression of hurt change to one of anger. He hardly had time to unravel the mystery of that change when he was assaulted by a barrage of words.
"Oh, great!" she exclaimed, scrambling to her feet. "This is just great! You don't want me either!" She started to pace in front of him. "First it's my boss who gives me the old heave-ho, though I hated that job and his stupid cactus plants anyway. Then my landlord wants me out. Peter Pan takes a hike because I can't pay for his upkeep anymore. Hell's bells, not even the Social Security office wants anything to do with me! Just what's wrong with me, anyway?" She stopped, looked at him with another accusing glance, then poked him sharply in the chest. "You tell me that, Mr. I-just-barely-escaped-the-Inquisition knight from Spendingthorn."
"Speningethorpe."
"Whatever," she snarled.
"Ah . . . " he began.
"Never mind," she said, her eyes blazing. "I don't want you either. Your house is a mess. You don't even have a job. I'm not going to work my fingers to the bone to feed and clothe another boyfriend. Forget it. I'm finding my cat," she said, sticking her nose up in the air, "and going" She turned away from him smartly. "Sir Sweetums, get over here right now!"
Miles watched with open mouth as she stomped from his kitchen. And, much as he hated to admit it, he hadn't understood a thing she'd said. Except for the part about the Inquisition.
Oh, and that she thought he didn't want her.
Which had to mean, and he congratulated himself on the ability to deduce this, that she wanted him.
And while he was indulging in realizations, he realized that while she might have only come to want him recently, he'd wanted her from the moment he'd clapped eyes on her formerly fluffy self standing at his gates. Harpy or no, he had very much wanted to understand all there was to understand about Abigail Moira Garrett. He wanted it even more now. And if it meant keeping her in the glorious Year of Our Lord 1238, then so be it.
He stepped out into the great hall and watched as she hitched up her hose and stomped across the great hall, hollering for her bloody cat. What an enchanting woman. Hell, he didn't care if she was an enchanted woman. He wanted her.
And Miles de Piaget always got what he wanted.
He would invite her to stay. Indeed, he would all but demand that she stay.
He strode forward. It took four long strides to catch up to her, another to position himself properly, and half another to sweep her squeaking self up into his arms. He looked down into her beautiful face and gave her his most lordly look. He knew it wasn't as convincing as his sire's, but since Abigail had nothing to compare it to, it would do.
"The future will just have to go on without you," he announced.
She blinked. "I beg your pardon."
"Petered pain is something you'll not have to bear again."
"Petered pain?"
"Aye," he said, firmly.
"Oh," she whispered. Then she smiled, a gentle smile. "You mean Peter Pan."
"Whatever," he said, with an imperious look. "And that so-shall sec ... sec—"
"Social Security," she supplied.
"Aye, that. You'll have no need of it. Whatever it is," he added. "You will have me."
"I will?"
"Whether you like it or no."
"I see."
He grunted. "So you do."
He stalked back to the fire. Abigail's arms stole around his neck and it broke his heart. How could she think no one wanted her?
He set her down on her feet near the fire, put his hand under her chin, and lifted her face up.
"I assume this agrees with you," he stated.
She looked up at him solemnly. "I didn't think you were giving me any choice in the matter."
"I'm not. I intend to woo you fiercely. I am merely assuming the idea agrees with you."
A small smile touched her mouth. "I suppose the future isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"Especially when the glorious Year of Our Lord 1238 provides one with such exceeding luxuries," he said, indicating his pitiful hall with a grand sweep of his arm.
"Well . . . now that you mention it—"
He didn't wish to hear what she intended to mention, so, like the good soldier he was, he marched straight into the fray without hesitation. He lowered his head and covered her mouth with his.
She shivered.
And then she kissed him back.
Miles s senses reeled. He gathered Abigail close and wrapped his arms around her. He smiled to himself as he remembered his first sight of her and how plump a harpy she had seemed. She was definitely not fluffy now. He could work on that later. Visions of half a dozen little Abigail-like creatures scampering about his hall calling "here, kitty, kitty," sprang up in his mind. He lifted his head and blinked.
"Miles, I think—"
He captured her mouth again. Thinking was not something he wanted to do much more of for the moment. Later he would give thought into little dark-haired, gray-eyed waifs and their mother running roughshod over his hall and his heart. For now, he was far too lost in Abigail's arms.
Miles could hardly believe the events of the past several hours. He'd come to Speningethorpe a se'nnight before, determined to wither away to an intolerable, bitter old man. Without warning, Abigail had come splashing down into his moat and changed his life completely. Perhaps there was more to Sir Sweetums than met the eye.
Whatever the case, Miles knew he had made the right choice. Perhaps the sailing would be a bit rough at first, what with them both coming from different worlds. Already her cat had done damage to his nose. The saints only knew what wreckage Abigail would leave of his heart. But surely it would be worth the effort.
The smell of something burning finally caught his attention. And that warmth on his backside he had thought to be Abigail's hand had suddenly turned into something else entirely.
"Merde!" he shouted.	:
"Drop and roll!" Abigail said, shoving him. "Drop and roll, you idiot!"
He dropped and she rolled him. He soon found himself face down on the floor. There was a fine draft blowing over his backside.
"The fire got your tights, too, I'm afraid," Abigail said. "What a shame. Your bum is looking kind of red—"
Miles whipped over so he was sitting, bare-arsed, on the floor. He felt furious color suffuse his cheeks. Abigail laughed.
"Oh, Miles," she said, shaking her head.
He grunted and scowled to save his pride. Abigail leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
"You're very cute."
Well, he knew that was a compliment. A pity he'd had to scorch his arse to wring one from her! To soothe his burned backside and assuage his bruised ego, he hauled her into his lap and looked at her purposefully.
"I will need to be appeased," he announced.
She put her arms around his neck. "And just how is that done in 1238?"
"I will show you."
"I had the feeling you would."
Miles kissed her. In time he forgot the pain of his toasted backside. He forgot that, by the saints, he was some seven hundred years older than the woman in his arms. He was almost distracted enough to bypass giving thought to what he would tell his father about her when he took her to Artane.
"Hey," Abigail said, looking at him with a frown, "keep your mind on the task at hand. Really, Miles. It can't be that taxing."
He threw back his head and laughed. Perhaps this was truly the gift he'd needed most for Christmas—a woman who had no reason to tread lightly near him. He looked at Abigail and smiled.
"My lady, you amaze me."
"Of course I do. What other twentieth-century girls have you met lately?"
He smiled and kissed her again. She was certainly the only one, the saints be praised. He doubted he would survive the wooing of another.
His nose began to twitch, but he stuck his finger under it and kept his mouth pressed tightly against Abigail's. With any luck that blasted cat would keep his distance until Abigail was properly wooed.
And if Miles ever caught up with Sir Sweetums, he would offer him a cup of the finest meade in gratitude.

Chapter Five
abby sat cross-legged on the table in the kitchen and watched Miles
cut up vegetables for a stew. 
"Do you know what you're doing?" she asked, doubtfully.
He looked up from under his eyebrows. "I cooked many a meal for myself in my travels. We will not starve."
"But how well will we eat?"
Miles very carefully set the knife down, crossed the two steps that separated her resting place from his working area of the table, and stopped in front of her.
"Oh, no you don't—"
She wasn't fast enough. She didn't even get a chance to give him her kissing-won't-solve-all-our-problems speech before a very warm, very firm mouth came down on hers. She shivered. It was a mouth minus its previous surrounding accompaniment of whiskers. Miles had shaved once he'd learned modern guys did it every day. Abby had vowed solemnly to herself not to overuse that keep-up-with-the-twentieth-century-Joneses strategy too often. But it was worth it for this. Kissing a bewhiskered Miles was great, but this was earth-shattering.
And he'd dispensed early on with that closed-mouthed kissing business. He was going straight for the jugular and didn't seem to care which way he got there, inside her mouth or out. Abby thought he might be wishing he could just crawl inside her and this was the best he could get for the moment. She hadn't given him her Garretts-don't-do-it-before-marriage speech, but they hadn't gotten that far yet. She sincerely hoped they got that far eventually.
Abby blinked when Miles lifted his head.
"Finished?" she croaked.
"Do you doubt my skill in the kitchens?"
She shook her head, wide-eyed.
He smiled in the most self-satisfied of ways and returned to his chopping. Abby rubbed her finger thoughtfully over her bottom lip. Maybe kissing would solve quite a few things.
Abby looked at Miles chopping diligently. Just how had she gotten so lucky? She had been rescued by a fantastic-looking man who got so distracted by kissing her that he set his own clothes on fire. He was stacking up oh-so-nicely against her Ideal Man list. It was almost enough to make her forget about going home.
Home. She turned the thought over in her mind. Modern conveniences waltzed before her mind's eye and she examined each in turn. Somehow they just didn't seem that appealing. Phones were noisy, fast food was unhealthy, and life in the corporate world spent basking under fluorescent lights gave her headaches. She'd always liked camping, which was a good thing, since Miles's castle was about on that same level of civilization.
And there probably wasn't any use in thinking about it. She had no guarantee that diving into Miles's moat would leave her resurfacing in Murphy's Pond.
On the other hand, what future did she have in the past? Miles certainly hadn't mentioned marriage. He was definitely shaping up to be someone she could share her life with, but was he free to choose his wife? Her knowledge of the marital practices of medieval nobility was scant, unfortunately. Even if could choose, who was to say he'd want her?
"Where go you?"
Abby hadn't realized she had gotten off the table until Miles spoke.
"Just out," she said, moving toward the kitchen door. Maybe a little
distance would soothe her smarting feelings. She was losing it. Why in
the world did she think—
"You sound as if you need to be convinced to stay," he stated, snagging her hand. "Come you back here, my lady, and let me see to it."
Abby let him pull her back, turn her around, and gather her into his arms.
"Abigail," he said softly, "what ails you?"
She put her arms around him and shook her head. "Nothing."
"Do you miss your home?"
"No."
He lifted her face up. Abby met his dark gray eyes and almost wanted to cry. Why be dumped here if she couldn't have him?
"Saints, but you Garretts are a stubborn lot," he said, smiling down at her. "You are resisting my wooing. You leave me with no choice but to pour more energies into it. Perhaps without the distractions of supper to prepare."
Well, wooing sounded good. Maybe it was best to just give things a few more days. After all, she might find out she really didn't like him very much.
He released her, dumped the rest of his vegetables into the pot, hung it over the fire, then turned back to her with a purposeful gleam in his eye.
"Is that all that needs to go in there?" she asked.
He shrugged and advanced.
"What if it tastes lousy?"
"You'll never notice."
"Why not?"
"Because you'll be too distracted by my surliness if you do not give me your complete attention."
"One of these days, Miles de Piaget, kissing me into submission isn't going to wor—"
But, oh, it was working at present. With her last coherent thought, Abby knew the day she decided she didn't like him would be the day they'd need snow tires in hell.

an hour later, Abby held up a dollar bill to the firelight. "This is George Washington. He was the first president of the United States."
 "No king?"
"Nope. That's why we said 'no thank you' to England in the 1700s. We're all for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness without a monarchy to tell us how to go about it."
Miles looked with interest at her wallet that sat between them on the blanket near the fire. Abby had appropriated his sleeping blanket as a carpet. The chair was too uncomfortable for sitting, and the floor too disgusting for intimate contact.
"What else have you in that small purse?" he asked.
"Not as many things as I would like," Abby said with a sigh.
She had her little wallet on a string, her gloves, and her keys. Her sunglasses had been stuffed inside her coat. The only other things she'd had in her pocket were a plastic bag of gourmet jelly beans and some soggy lint. But he'd been fascinated by it all. She'd been fairly certain he'd believed her when he'd hit the floor in the kitchen, but there was nothing like a bit of substantial evidence to slam the door on doubt.
He'd examined her jeans closely, seemingly very impressed by the pockets and copper rivets. Her down coat was still dripping wet, but she had the feeling they'd be fighting over that once it was dry. Her underwear and bra she'd finally had to rip out of his hands. It was then she'd given him her Garretts-don't-do-it-before-marriage speech. She'd expected protests. Instead, she'd gotten a puzzled look.
"Of course you don't," had been his only comment.
So, now they were sitting in front of his bonfire, examining the contents of her wallet and munching on Jelly Bellies. 
     "Aaack," Miles said, chewing gingerly. "What sort is this one?"
She learned forward and smelled. "Buttered popcorn, I think."
"Nasty." He swallowed with a gulp. "Is there this chocolate you spoke of?" he asked, poking around in the bag hopefully.
"I wish," she said with feeling. She'd had one lemon jelly bean and given the rest to Miles. Unless sugar found itself mixed in with a generous amount of cocoa, she wasn't all that interested. Now, if it had been a bag of M&M's she'd been packing, Miles would have been limited to a small taste and lots of sniffs. "Chocolate doesn't even get to England until the seventeenth century. Trust me. This is history I know about."
"Where does it come from?"
"They grow it in Africa."
"Oh," he said, sounding almost as regretful as she felt. "A bit of a journey."
"You didn't see any on your travels?"
He shook his head. "Not that I remember."
Abby leaned back against the chair legs. "What made you decide to go to Jerusalem?"
"I wanted to see the places my father had been in his youth, I suppose. My father had gone on the Lionheart’s crusade, first as page, then squire to a Norman lord. My brothers followed in his footsteps to the Holy Land, even though there was no glorious war for them to wage." He smiled faintly. "I think I simply had a young man's desire to see the world and discover its mysteries. Instead, I saw cities ravaged by war, women without husbands, children without fathers." He shrugged. "I don't think fighting over relics was the message the Christ left behind Him. Perhaps I found it even more ironic because I overlooked the city of Jerusalem on Christmas day."
"I take it that count you insulted didn't feel the same about it?"
Miles smiled. "Indeed, he did not. And I am not shy about expressing my opinions, whether I am in my cups or not."
"Was your grandfather upset with you?"
"Nay. You see, of all his grandsons, he says I remind him overmuch of himself." He smiled modestly, then continued. "My eldest brother, Robin, would rather grumble and curse under his breath. Nicholas is a peacemaker and rarely says aught to offend. My younger brothers are giddy maids, talking of nothing but whatever ladyloves they are currently wooing." He smiled again. "I, on the other hand, am surly and moody and generally make certain others know that."
"Oh, boy, surly and moody," she said, with delight. "And to think I could have landed in the moat of someone who was merely agreeable and deferring."
"And how dull you would have found him to be," he said with a grin. "My grandsire shares my temperament. I am his favorite, of course."
"Of course," she agreed, dryly. "You were just lucky he happened by when he did."
"It is perhaps more than luck. I learned later one of his servants had been passing by and heard me telling the count rather loudly that he was a mindless twit."
"Oh, Miles," she laughed. "You'd make a terrible diplomat."
"Aye," he agreed. " 'Tis fortunate I'll never pursue that calling."
"Then what is it you intend to pursue?" She knew it was a loaded question, but she couldn't stop herself from asking it.
His smile deepened. "I intend to pursue you, of course."
"Really?" she squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried again in a more dignified tone. "Really," she said, hoping it sounded casual.
He nodded. "Aye. But how is a twentieth-century girl wooed? Gifts?"
"Well, it is almost Christmas."
He frowned. "And you plan on making me participate in the festivities?"
"If I can do it, so can you." She had her own reasons for finding Christmas difficult, but she managed each year. Miles could, too. "We could spruce up the place a little."
"Aye," he agreed, sounding reluctant.
"Come on, grumpy. It'll be fun."
"Fun?" he echoed doubtfully.
"As in enjoyable, entertaining. We'll do some cleaning and sprucing and you'll feel much better about the season. Trust me. And while we're cleaning, I'll tell you the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge." She laughed. "Talk about the Ghost of Christmas Past! Boy, this puts a whole new spin on that one."
Miles only blinked at her.
"We may have to forgo the gifts," she continued. "I would have put those Jelly Bellies in your stocking, but you ate them all."
Miles burped discreetly. "And they were delicious. Is that how 'tis done in your day? Sprucing and giving?"
"Pretty much."
He reached over, put his hand behind her head and pulled her toward him. "You are the best gift I could have asked for," he murmured against her lips. "I need nothing else."
Abby closed her eyes as he kissed her. Was it possible to fall in love with someone so soon?
It was much later that she managed to catch her breath enough to ask if he thought the stew was finished.
"Do you care?" he asked, with a twinkle in his eye. "My appetite is running more toward more of your mouth. I can guarantee it is more tasty than what boils in yon pot."
"Who needs food?" Abby managed.
And that was the last thing she said for a very long time.

Chapter Six
miles struggled to fashion the soft straw into a bow. "Will this do?" he asked, holding it up.
"Well, it isn't raffia, but we'll survive."
Miles handed her the bow, then leaned his elbows on the table and watched her rummaging through his stores for other appropriately Christmassy items, as she called them.
He'd slept poorly the night before. He'd been tempted to blame it on his stew. It had been, in a word, inedible. More than likely it had been sleeping so close to Abigail and not touching her. Garretts didn't do that sort of thing before marriage—not that he'd expected anything else. He wouldn't take her until he'd wed her. The thought of it sent a thrill of something through him; he wasn't sure if it was excitement or terror. He'd always known he would take a wife sooner or later. It had certainly suited his brothers well enough, though the wooing of their ladies had been tumultuous.
Miles stole a look at Abigail and wondered if the courting of her would take such a toll on him. He didn't think so. She looked fairly serene as she sifted through his things. Perhaps she would accept him well enough as time went on.
He watched her and couldn't help but smile. It seemed a better thing to do than shake his head, which was what he had been doing since she'd started telling him future things the eve before. Airplanes, cars, trains, microwaves; the list was endless. It would take him a lifetime to draw from her all the things she took for granted, things he hadn't even imagined, well-traveled though he might have been.
"Abigail, what sort of work did you do in your day?" he asked.
"I was a secretary for an insurance salesman," she said, frowning at a bow. She flashed him a brief smile. "People paid this man a certain amount of money each month just in case they died or their house went up in flames. If that happened, then he would replace the house or pay the family money to compensate for the deceased. I wrote out all his correspondence and things on a machine called a computer. And I watered his plants. I hated it."
"What would you rather have been doing?"
"Anything but that." She fingered a fig. "I always wanted to be a gardener. I love to watch things grow. A family would have been nice, too."
"I see," he said. No wonder she had found Brett so lacking. The man obviously didn't share her sentiments about marriage. But why was she so concerned with sprucing and giving? Was that all part of it?
"Why is this Christmassy fuss so important to you?" he asked.
He might not have noticed her hesitation if he hadn't been watching her so closely. But he noticed it, and he certainly noticed the false smile she put on for his benefit.
"'Tis the season, ho, ho, ho, and all that," she said, brightly.
"Hmmm," Miles said, thoughtfully. She was lying, obviously. He looked at her sad little pile of straw bows, then back up at her.
"How did you celebrate in your time?"
"Oh, there's a lot to it. You have to decorate the house with a tree and ornaments and greenery. All the family gets together and there's lots of food and laughter." She gave another piece of straw a hard yank. "It's the family togetherness thing."
Miles reached out and put his hand over hers. "Abigail, I want to know how you celebrated."
She looked away. "I went to my grandmother's. Until she and my granddad died."
"Then it must have been quite festive. Tell me of your siblings. What a clan you must have been with a houseful of Garretts."
"Oh, it was a houseful, all right," she said. "I don't have any brothers or sisters, but I have lots of cousins and aunts and uncles. They would all show up with gifts and things."
"And what of your parents?"
Abby shrugged. "They usually took me there and left me. They never stayed." She smiled at him briefly. "They always had other things to do."
Miles s chest tightened. He tried to pull her into his arms, but she wouldn't come.
"I was something of a surprise," she said, walking over to the kitchen hearth. "They had me after they'd been married almost twenty years. They had never wanted children and it was too inconvenient to fit me into their lifestyle, I guess."
"Oh, Abigail," Miles said softly.
"Don't," she said, holding up her hand. "I didn't tell you so you could feel sorry for me. I've had a great life. My grandparents were wonderful. I didn't need my mom and dad to make my life any better than it was."
He digested that for a few minutes. This obviously went deeper than that.
"So these Christmassy items remind you of your grandparents?"
She shrugged. "I suppose. Or maybe I just want what they had."
Miles understood. His father worshipped his mother and she him. They had their disagreements, surely, but there had never been a time that Miles had doubted their love for each other. Not that every household in England ran thusly. Most marriages were made to form alliances and were likely devoid of love. Miles knew his parents were something of an exception. Abigail obviously wanted such an exceptional marriage. Miles smiled to himself. And him right there to give it to her. Life was indeed miraculous.
"I want the whole enchilada," she was saying. "I want a husband who loves me. I want children. I want real Christmases with lights and a tree and my own family there around me. I want a fireplace."
Miles considered the last. 'Twas obvious improvements would have to be made to the hall.
"And while we're talking about marriage, let me be perfectly clear on this. I want a husband who will stick by me when things get rough, who won't bail at the first sign of trouble." She shot him a challenging look.
"Bail?"
"Leave. Run away."
"Ah, I see."
"So you do."
She had planted her hands on her waist again. Miles had the feeling she was gearing up for battle. He was beginning to suspect he might be the enemy.
"Then you don't want a man who would run off when things became difficult," he offered, wanting to make sure he understood.
"That's right, bucko."	
"Anything else?"
She held up her hand and began using her fingers to tick off her items of importance.
"He can't dress better than I do, he can't smell better than I do, and he has to have a job."
"A job?"
"An occupation. He can't just sit around the house watching TV all day and expect me to pay all the bills."
Miles clasped his hands behind his back. "And?"
She was silent for a moment. "He has to love me," she said, quietly.
Well, that was done easily enough. Miles suspected he'd fallen in love with her the first time she'd begun to wheeze.
The occupation item was a problem. Miles leaned back against the worktable and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling. He could build Speningethorpe up and turn it into a profitable estate, but would that be enough for Abigail? 'Twas certain he would have to do something with his hands so as not to appear idle. Perhaps he would send for his hounds. He'd bred them in his youth, as he'd managed to keep himself home until he was almost two-and-ten. Aye, there was always a market for a finely-trained hound.
And if hounds weren't substantial enough, he would look to horses.
His mother had a fine eye for horseflesh. When he took Abigail to Artane, he would seek his mother's opinion on the matter.
Miles considered Abigail's other items. It was certain he wasn't dressed better than she; he was wearing his oldest pair of hose. They were worn through at the knee, but better bare knees than a bare arse, to his mind. He was quite certain she smelled far better than he did. She certainly would once he took to cleaning out the kennels.
All in all, he thought he just might suit.
He flashed her a brief smile and started toward the great hall. There was no time like the present to see the future accounted for. It was just barely midday. If he rode hard, he could be to Seakirk Abbey and back by dawn. The abbot would likely be there for the Christmas celebrations. Miles had no qualms about using whatever tactics were necessary to see the man on a horse heading north with him. No doubt his own reputation as a convicted heretic would serve him. His elder brothers had already spread the tale from one end of the isle to the other, embellishing it with each retelling. Miles had been livid at first, especially since they had found it to be such a fine jest. Now, he thought the blot on his past just might serve him well.
"Where are you going?"
The desperate tone of Abigail's voice made him pause. He looked at her as he threw his cloak around his shoulders and pulled on his gloves.
"I've things to see to."
Her jaw went slack. "Just like that?"
"Abigail, I've a task to see to—"
"I bare my soul to you," she said, sounding irritated, "and all you can do is walk away?"
"Abigail—"
"Great!" she exclaimed. "This is just great!"
He paused and considered. If he told her what he was about, heaven only knew what she would say. She might say she thought he should take a swim in his moat. Worse yet, she might leave.
He couldn't bring himself to think about that. Only last night he had begun to realize just what he would be asking her to give up to remain with him.
He couldn't bear the thought of having her say him nay.
Aye, 'twas best he had the priest handy when he informed her of his intentions. Garretts never did things by halves, and neither did de Piagets.
"There's wood enough for the fire," he said, "so you shouldn't freeze—"
"It's about the sex thing, isn't it," she demanded.
"Well, aye," he said, with a nod, "that's part of it, surely." He certainly wouldn't take her 'til he'd wed her and the sooner he'd wed her, the happier he would be.
"Ooohh," she said, grinding her teeth. She picked up a piece of wood and heaved it at him. "You're such a jerk!"
Miles ducked, his eyes wide. "Abigail—"
"Go," she shouted, pointing to the door. "Just leave if you're going!"
Miles thought it best to do just that, while he was still in one piece. And when Abigail reached for another heavy stick of wood, he did the most sensible thing he could think of.
He bolted for the door.
He'd barely pulled the hall door to when he heard the thump of wood striking it on the other side. So he'd left his dignity behind. He would smile as he told his children how difficult it had been to woo their mother. It would make a fine tale.
He was halfway to the stables before he realized in how precarious a situation he was leaving his lady. He couldn't allow her to remain in a keep with an unbarred door and no men to protect her.
He turned back to the hall and pushed on the door. There was no budging it. Abigail had obviously made use of the crossbeam. Well, perhaps that would do. He would make as much haste as possible. The sooner he was home, priest in tow, the better he would like it.
Assuming, however, he didn't have to break down his own door to get to his bride.
He smiled as he strode to the stables. What a fine life it promised to be!

Chapter Seven
abby threw another log onto the fire, then dragged her hand across her eyes.
"What a jerk," she said, with a snuffle against her sleeve. "He's no better than the rest of them."
She could hardly believe Miles had just walked out, leaving her behind to ponder the reasons for his hotfooted departure. Maybe her soul-baring had scared him. Abby scowled. Coward. And he'd flat-out admitted that part of it was the sex thing. And after how readily he'd accepted it before, as if he would have been surprised by anything else! She scowled again. For all she knew, he'd just been toying with her.
Abby moved closer to the fire, with a muttered curse. It had been a very bad day. After Miles had left around noon, she'd spent the afternoon pacing and raging. Then she'd cried. When she'd tired of that, she had retreated to Miles's chair. She'd been sitting there since dusk, cursing both his inadequate bonfire and the day she'd landed in his moat. After slandering his hall and his person to her satisfaction, she'd simply sat and pondered life and its mysteries, shaking her head. Her grandmother had always shaken her head a lot. Abby was beginning to understand why.
Miles's actions baffled her. She had been prepared for him to lose it when she'd told him where and when she'd come from. But when she had told him her tiny little dream of home and hearth to call her own, not only had he not given her dream the proper respect and attention it deserved, he'd walked out on her. And on Christmas Eve, of all times! Tonight was the night to have people around her who cared for her. All she had was an empty castle. She had no Christmas tree, no twinkling lights, and no presents. Hell's bells, she didn't even have any fruitcake to worry about disposing of!
But that wasn't the worst of it. Much as she didn't want to admit it, what she didn't have was what she wanted the most.
Miles.
She'd always wondered if there were such a thing as meeting a person and knowing immediately he was the Right One. She'd never experienced it before. She was very familiar with attraction to the Wrong One. She would meet a man, think he was handsome, then ten minutes later start making excuses for his glaring flaws. But no amount of fiddling had ever turned any of those men into the Right One.
With Miles, it had been completely different. One minute she'd been chewing him out for not having indoor plumbing, the next she'd been comparing him to her Ideal Man requirements and finding nothing lacking. Until today. Running out on her was a big check mark on the Red Flag side of the list. If he didn't love her enough to stay, he just wouldn't do.
Besides, what did she want with primitive old medieval England anyway? No running water, no phone, and no History Channel on cable. Hell, she was living the History Channel.
She needed modern comforts. Hot showers. Soap that came pre-wrapped and contained moisturizers with long, scientific names. Craft stores, where she could buy makings for Christmas decorations. Good grief, even simple things like flipping a switch for lights, indoor plumbing, central heat ... the Mini Mart!
Well, time was awastin'. She jumped to her feet purposefully and headed toward the door. She'd just go home. There wasn't anything there for her either, but at least she'd be miserable in comfort. It was definitely a step up from being miserable in a drafty old castle that was ratty even by medieval standards!
She put her shoulder under the crossbeam and gave it a shove over to her left. It took several tries, but finally she managed to slide it far enough to one side that all it took was a good push upward to tip it out of the remaining bracket. She took hold of the iron door ring and started to pull.
"Meow."
Abby paused, then shook her head. "That's not going to work this time. I'm late for my date with the moat."
"I say, old girl, meow!”
Abby whirled around, fully expecting to see someone behind her.
She was alone.
This was way too spooky. She took a few hesitant steps out into the middle of the room, searching the shadows. Then she squeaked in surprise.
Sir Sweetums sat on the bottom step of Miles's circular stairway. He swished his tail impatiently, then turned and disappeared upward into the shadows.
"I'm going to regret this," Abby muttered under her breath.
She crossed the room, then climbed up the circular stairs. She waited until her eyes had adjusted fully. The moon was full, which helped. But one of these days Miles was really going to have to do something about a roof over this part of his castle—
"Really, my dear, you are the most stubborn of women."
Abby shrieked and jumped back. All she succeeded in doing was smacking herself smartly against the stone of the stairwell.
"Who's there?" she said, her voice warbling like a bird's.
" 'Tis I," a cultured voice said from the darkness. "Your beloved Sir Sweetums."
Against her better judgment, Abby strained to see into the shadowy hallway across from her. What she really needed to be doing was getting up and looking for a weapon, not peering into the shadows to catch a glimpse of a ghostly cat who seemed to be having delusions of conversation. Maybe that big cleaver in the kitchen would be protection enough.
And then, before she could gather her limbs together and move, Sir Sweetums himself appeared across the gaping hole that separated the stairwell from what should have been, and likely would be again, a hallway leading to bedrooms. Abby sank down onto a step and gaped at him in amazement. "Sir Sweetums?" she managed.
"But of course," he said, giving his paw a delicate lick and skimming said paw alongside his nose. He finished with his ablutions and looked at her. "Who else?"
"Ooooh," Abby said, clutching the rock on either side of her. "I've really lost it this time. Garretts aren't supposed to hallucinate!"
"No hallucination, dearest Abigail," Sir Sweetums said placidly. "Just me, come to bring you to your senses. I've been trying for years, since the moment you lost your wits over that pimply-faced chap named Mad Dog McGee when you were twelve."
Garretts never whimpered. Abby thought moaning might not be a blot against her, so she did it thoroughly.
"No vapors, I beg of you!" Sir Sweetums exclaimed, holding up his paw.
"You're talking," Abby said, hoarsely. She shook her head. "I'm talking to a cat. I can't believe this."
"We've talked before," Sir Sweetums pointed out. "I have many fond memories of conversing whilst I stalked the butterfly bush and you puttered amongst the hollyhocks—"
"That was different. You were using words like 'meow' and 'prrr.' You weren't going on about me puttering amongst my hollyhocks." Abby glared at him. "This is unnatural!"
" 'Tis the season for giving, my dear, and this is the gift given to animals each year from midnight on the eve of the Christ Child's birth to sunrise the next morning."
"But you aren't alive," Abby whispered. "I know you aren't."
"Ah," Sir Sweetums agreed, with a nod, "there's the heart of it. I wished I could have come to you and told you, but once a feline enters the Guardian's association, he cannot go back. Unless he has further work to do." Sir Sweetums cocked his head to one side. "And to be sure, I had further work to do with you, my girl!"
Abby leaned back against the stone and shivered once. When it had passed, she took a deep breath and let it out again.
"All right," she said. "I can handle this." She laughed, in spite of herself. "I'm living in 1238. If I can believe that, I can believe I'm talking to you." She looked at her very beloved Sir Sweetums and felt her eyes begin to water. "I missed you so much."
Sir Sweetums coughed, a little uncomfortably it seemed to her. "Of course, my dear."
"Did you miss me?"
"Of course, my dear," he said, gently. "Out of the mortals I had charge of during my nine lives, you were my favorite. Didn't you know?"
Abby smiled through her tears. "No, I didn't know. But thanks for telling me."
Sir Sweetums smiled, as only a cat can smile. "My pleasure. Now, on to the reason I am here. You really must get hold of yourself in regards to The Miles. He is a perfectly acceptable human. Indeed, I would have to say he is the best of the matches you could have made."
"He's a total jerk," she grumbled.
"Strong-willed," Sir Sweetums countered. "Sure of himself and unafraid to speak his mind."
"He may speak, but he doesn't listen. I told him my most precious dream yesterday morning and he didn't even acknowledge it!"
"Maybe he was giving thought to your words."
"Hrumph," she said, unappeased. "If that's true, why did he leave?"
"When he returns, you'll ask."
"I'm not going to be here when he gets back."
"Tsk, tsk," Sir Sweetums said. "My dearest Abigail, you don't think I brought you all the way here just to have you leave, do you?"
"You?" she screeched. "You're the one responsible for this?"
"Who else?" he said, with a modest little smile.
"Why?" she exclaimed. "Why in the world did you drag me all the way here?"
"Because this is where you need to be," he said, simply.
"Right. Without chocolate, my superfirm mattresss, and running water. Thanks a lot."
Sir Sweetums shook his head patiently. "Really, my dear. Those are things you can live without."
"No, I can't. I'm going home."
"Conveniences there may be in the future, dear girl, but who awaits there to share those conveniences with you?"
Well, he had a point there. Abby scowled and remained silent. She was not going to let a cat, no matter how much she loved him, talk her into remaining in miserable old medieval England.
"Abigail," Sir Sweetums said gently, "Miles is a dashedly fine chap."
"He's a convicted heretic!"
"Abigail," Sir Sweetums chided, "you know the truth of that."
"Well, then . . . he's always trying to kiss me into submission," she finished, triumphantly. "It's barbaric."
"Consider his upbringing, my dear! The man is a knight. He is used to taking what he wants, when he wants it."
"And what if I don't want to be taken?" she said, feeling peevish. Peevish was good. It beat the heck out of feeling hurt.
"Then tell him so. But I rather suspect you would find you like it."
"I'm surrounded by chauvinists," she muttered—peevishly.
Sir Sweetums looked unruffled. "Think on the alternatives you've had in the past, my dear. What of Brett? Would he have fought for you? Exerted himself to do anything but help you spend your funds and deplete your pantry?"
"No," she admitted reluctantly.
"And what of those other insufferable fops you managed to find yourself keeping company with? Anyone there who had the spine to care for you?"
"Lord over me, you mean."
Sir Sweetums conceded the point with a graceful nod. "As The Miles does. Perfectly acceptable behavior for a medieval knight. A most modern medieval knight, if I were to venture an opinion. He's quite liberal-minded in his thinking, my dear. I've no doubt that you two will see eye to eye in the end."
"He has a big check mark in the Red Flag column," she insisted. "Running out is the kiss of death with me."
"Perhaps he had affairs to see to."
"It would have been nice to have been told, you know. How are we supposed to work things out, not that I'm sure I want to, when he isn't even around?"
"You've waited all this time for him, my dear. What are a few more hours in the grander scheme of things?"
Abby looked at her most beloved of cats and, in spite of herself, found she had to agree with him. Maybe Miles had left for a reason. A good reason.
"It'd better be a damn good reason," she muttered. "And he'd better come rolling back in here before long, or I'll give my second thoughts a second thought!"
A throat cleared itself from immediately behind her. "Actually, my lady, there was very little rolling involved. I walked in quite well on my own two feet."
Abby whipped around to look at Miles, who was standing at the crook of the stairs. He climbed up another step or two. He smiled at her, then his gaze drifted across the gap to Sir Sweetums.
Miles sneezed.
"Likewise, I'm sure," Sir Sweetums said, with a swish of his tail.
Abby couldn't decide who to watch. Miles looked like he was going to faint again—she knew that look. She put out her hand to steady him.
"That's Sir Sweetums," she supplied.
"So I gathered."
"He's talking. But only until sunrise."
"How positively lovely," Miles managed.
Sir Sweetums grimaced. "Ye gads, boy, get on with this, won't you? 'Tis almost dawn. I'd like to see The Abigail comfortably settled before the night is out."
"Maybe I don't want to be comfortably settled," Abby interjected.
"Sir Miles?" Sir Sweetums prompted.
Miles came up another step and knelt. Abby stiffened her spine and reminded herself of all the reasons she had to be angry with him.
"Abby?" he said, quietly.
Oh, great. Now he decided to call her Abby. She scowled at him.
"This isn't going to work."
He looked at her solemnly. "Juts what about me doesn't suit? My visage? Tis too ugly to be gazed at for the rest of your life?" He flexed an arm for her benefit. "Too scrawny? Too frail? Here, come sniff me."
She leaned close, then wrinkled her nose. "All right, so you don't smell too great. What have you been doing?"
"I've been riding hard since midday yesterday. Now, in what other thing do I fail?"
"You dress better than I do. A very important issue with me."
Miles plunked a small, jangly bag in her lap. "Hire a seamstress. Anything else?"
Abby fingered the money in the bag. She looked at Sir Sweetums, who was watching her silently. Then she looked up at the stars; she couldn't look at Miles.
"I want it all," she said, quietly. "Kids, a garden, Christmas." She cleared her throat. "And a husband who loves me."
"And I would not?" he asked.
She looked at him. "You left. What am I supposed to understand from that? I tell you what is most important to me, you ignore me, and then you leave."
"I went to fetch a priest."
She frowned at him. "Why? So you could have me exorcised?"
Miles smiled. "Nay, Abby, so he could see us properly wed."
She blinked.
"Wed?" she asked.
"Aye.”
       "I—“ 
       He took her hand in both of his. "I want you, Abby, in my life and in my bed. I vow always to smell more poorly than you. I give you my solemn word that you will always have the majority of garments in our trunk." He lifted his hand and touched her cheek. "I want to give you what you want, Abby. I want to give you a home and a family."
She looked at him. It was hard, but she made herself look at him and ask about what meant the most to her.
"And what about love? Between us?"
He smiled, and the tenderness of it went straight to her heart. "I think I began to fall in love with you from the moment I first clapped eyes on you standing at my gates. Every breath I've taken since then has just convinced me that life with you is infinitely more joyful than life without you." He raised her hand to his lips. "My sweet Abby, how can you think I would offer you any less?"
"Oh, Miles," she said. It was all she'd ever wanted to hear. She threw her arms around his neck, closed her eyes and let her tears slip down her cheeks. "Oh, Miles."
"I want you to stay," he whispered, putting his arms around her and hugging her. "I'm half-afraid to ask you to give up the future for me." He pulled back and looked at her. "Will you? I haven't much to offer you, yet."
She looped her arms around his neck and smiled at him, feeling joy well up in her heart. "All I really want," she said, blinking back the tears that stung her eyes, "is you."
"You won't miss chocolate?"
"I hear making love is a good substitute."
Miles laughed. "Perhaps in our travels someday well learn the truth of it. Until then, can you make do?"
"Yes."
"And you'll wed me?"
"Yes."
"Finally," Sir Sweetums exclaimed, triumphantly. "Well done, Miles, old boy! Finally, someone to take care of my beloved Abigail!"
"I don't need to be taken care of—"
Miles kissed her.
"See?" Abby mumbled. She made a concentrated effort to pull away so she could point out that such barbaric practices were most definitely not in the agreement, but somehow she found herself mesmerized by the feeling of his mouth on hers.
All right. If he wanted to kiss her into submission, she'd let him. Now and then.
"Perhaps, Sir Sweetums," Miles said, when he let her up for air, "Abby might be more amenable to the idea of keeping me in line, rather than the opposite."
Sir Sweetums considered. "Well, Garretts do do that sort of thing."
Miles's eyes began to water. "The first thing she might do is remove me from your presence, my good cat. No offense, of course."
Sir Sweetums drew back at Miles’s hearty sneeze. "Well, yes, perhaps that would be wise. I'll be on my way now."
"Oh," Abby said, holding out her hand, "don't go."
"But I must, my dear. You are safely settled. My task is finished."
"But," Abby said, "don't you want to see how our lives turn out? What if we have rotten kids?"
Sir Sweetums smiled again, a Cheshire cat smile. "I'm a permanent member of the Guardian Feline Association, my dear. We're always about, lending a paw when needed. Now that you're here, I daresay I'll be popping into medieval England more regularly."
"Always on Christmas Eve," Miles said with another sneeze. "I doubt anything else during the year will give me quite the same start as watching you speak."
Sir Sweetums lifted a paw in farewell. "Until next year, then. God be with you, my dears!"
Sir Sweetums vanished. Abby looked at Miles with a watery smile.
"Hell of a cat, huh?"
Miles laughed. "Indeed, my love, he certainly is. Now, I believe you and I have some unfinished business below with a priest."
She followed him down the tight staircase to find the priest standing near Miles's inadequate bonfire, shivering. Abby took one last look around the hall and shook her head. The place was a dump. It made her apartment look like a four-star hotel suite.
Then Miles stopped, looked down at her, and smiled. He held out his hand for her.
Abby put her hand in his. The floor squished under her Keds as she let Miles lead her to the priest. Maybe she would ask for a shovel for Christmas next year. Why hadn't she thought to stuff a can of disinfectant in her jacket before she'd left the twentieth century?
Abby came to from her contemplation of Miles's floor to find the priest looking at her, waiting for her to give some sort of answer in the affirmative to the question of whether or not she wanted Miles and medieval England for the rest of her life.
She looked up at Miles. "Shouldn't your parents be here?"
Miles shrugged. "They'll learn of it soon enough."
Abby looked at the abbot, who seemed to be warning her with his eyes alone that she was sentencing herself to a life with a condemned heretic and shouldn't she really give it a few more minutes' thought?
"I'll take him," she blurted out.
Miles hustled the priest out the door before anyone had a chance to say anything else. Abby squished her way closer to the bonfire. She'd just gotten herself married to a man some seven hundred years older than she. Talk about a May-December romance! She shivered. Hopefully his family was as open-minded as he seemed to be. She heard Miles stomping his feet outside the front door and she took a deep breath. He didn't seem to be worried about what his parents would say. They would just have to cross that bridge when they came to it.
Abby rolled her eyes. Hadn't a bridge been what had started her entire adventure?
The front door opened and Abby gave up worrying about Miles's parents. She was married now and Garretts did do it after they were married. Frequently. With enthusiasm. Her grandmother had been very clear on that.
Abby stood up straight and planted her hands on her waist. No time like the present to get down to business.
And what wonderful business it promised to be.

Chapter Eight
miles saw the abbot comfortably ensconced in the gatehouse, then returned to the hall. He stood at the threshold and looked back over his bailey. Already, his mind was overflowing with ideas for improvement. He couldn't subject Abigail to life in these conditions. He would make Speningethorpe as modern as he could, for Abigail's sake.
He stomped his muddy boots to clean them, entered his hall, and closed the door behind him. Abigail was standing next to the fire, hands on her waist. Ah, so she was prepared to do battle again. Miles leaned back against the wood and smiled. Saints, what a woman he was blessed with. His life with her would be one joy after another.
After they survived the next few hours, that is. Miles folded his arms across his chest and contemplated his next action. They were wed legally enough. To be sure, he wanted to bed her, but was it too soon?
"Hey," she said, frowning. "Why are you over there?"
"I'm watching you," he replied, with a smile.
"I'm cuter up close."
Miles laughed as he crossed the floor. "You're fetching from any distance, my lady." He pulled her into his arms and held her close. "God bless that bloody Sir Sweetums for bringing you to me."
"I couldn't agree more."
Miles held her for several minutes in silence. After a time, he began to feel quite warm. He jerked away from Abigail and gave himself the once-over to make sure none of him was on fire. Abigail was looking at him as if he'd lost his wits.
"I was growing warm," he offered.
Her eyes twinkled merrily. "Nothing seems to be smoldering, Miles."
He looked at her, feeling exceedingly uncomfortable. What was he to say, that his warmth had definitely not come from any fire? Abigail tilted her head to one side and looked at him appraisingly.
"You shaved," she noted.
He nodded. "And had a wash outside," he added. "But I'm sure you still smell better than I do."
She laughed. "Thank you. I think."
Miles nudged a piece of slimy hay with his toe. "We could kiss." He looked at her from under his eyelashes.
"We could."
“I don’t want to rush you, Abby.”
She shook her head, with an amused smile. "You aren't. Garretts generally do it right after the ceremony. It comes from having to wait."
"I see—" Miles trailed off. Abby had stepped up to him and put her arms around him. What was she about?
"Don't worry," she whispered, still smiling. "I'm just going to lay one on you."
He realized, belatedly, that he wasn't prepared for her actions. He and Abigail had kissed often enough, but this kiss rocked him to the core. Perhaps it was because he knew it could definitely lead to other things. Miles threw his arms around her and held on.
Too soon, she allowed him to breathe. He blinked.
"I think," he managed, "I would like to have another of those laid on me."
She obliged him. Miles clung to her and hoped he wouldn't embarrass himself by having his knees buckle under him.
He'd planned to give her a goodly while to accustom herself fully to him, perhaps even a few days, but if she didn't stop kissing him thusly, he sincerely doubted he would be able to do much but hold onto the ragged edges of his wits. And, after all, Garretts did seem to have a schedule about these things. If Abigail wanted him now, who was he to say her nay?
He tore his mouth away. "I'm going to fall down soon, I think. Perhaps we could retire to the bed and go with the flow for a time."
Abigail laughed. "What is your family going to think when they hear you talking like a twentieth-century guy?"
"They'll think I've gone daft," he said, leading her to his bed and lying down beside her. "You should have seen the look the abbot cast my way at Seakirk when I told him to get the lead out."
"And where is the friar in question?"
"In the little room above the gatehouse," he said. He buried his hands in her hair and turned her face to his. He smiled. He'd been itching to get his hands in her hair for what seemed like years.
"Is he just a junior priest, then?" she asked.
"Nay. He's a powerful abbot."
She choked. "I see your nefarious reputation has its advantages."
He grinned at her. "Are you sorry you wed with such a one as I?"
"No, Dastardly Dan, I'm not," she said, tugging on his ear. "Come here and kiss me, you bad man."
How could he refuse? He kissed her as she wished, then he kissed her as he wished. Then he wished for less clothing between them.
"Oh, my," she said, when his hand trailed over her increasingly bare flesh.
"Indeed," he said with a shiver, as her cold fingers wandered over his chest. He would have to build better fireplaces. Perhaps he would raze the bloody keep to the ground and start over again. Abigail's hands found the warmth of his back and he yelped. Aye, more heat was surely a necessity he would see to as soon as possible.
When tunics had been discarded, he pulled her close to him and relished the feel of her bare skin against his.
"Oh, Abby," he whispered, closing his mouth over hers.
She was trembling. He hoped it was from passion and not fear. He knew it couldn't be from the cold. He was hotter than if he'd been standing in the midst of a pile of kindling. 
He kissed and caressed her until both their breaths were coming in gasps. Then Abigail tore her mouth from his.
"Did you hear something?"
"Nay," he said, trying to recapture her mouth.
"It's a thumping noise, Miles."
"That's the blood pounding in your ears. 'Tis passion, Abby."
She eluded his lips. "Those are fists pounding on your gates, bucko. It isn't passion, it's company."
Miles lifted his head and frowned. "Damn."
Abigail froze. "Bad guys?"
Miles looked down at her grimly. "Knocking? Doubtful, my love. Enemies generally prefer a sneak attack."
"Then who could it be?" she asked, reaching for her tunic.
"My bloody sire, most likely." Why Rhys had chosen this precise moment for a visit . . . Miles growled. "I'm going to kill him for the interruption."
Her smile started in her eyes. "I really like you a lot."
He kissed her again, for good measure, then tore himself away and rose. He donned his tunic and waited while Abigail did the same.
"We may as well go let him in," he grumbled. "He'll pound all day if we don't."
"What are you going to tell him about me?" she asked. She looked very worried.
He shrugged. "We'll tell them you're from Michigan."
"Don't I have to be some kind of royalty to marry you?" she asked. She was starting to wheeze again.
Miles gathered her close. "As I'm hardly royalty myself, nay, you needn't be. But we can make you such, if you like." He pulled back and grinned at her. "What shall you be? Princess of Freezing Bluff?"
"I don't know why you think this is so funny," she said, her teeth chattering.
Miles laughed and kissed her. " 'Tis merely my sire, Abby. He will love you because you are you. We'll tell him you're from Michigan, which is a very long way away, and that you have no family nearby. You were out, lost your way, and wound up at my hall. That's truth enough for the moment. We'll worry about the rest later."
"If you say so."
"Trust me. Now, let's go let the irritating old man in."
He hadn't taken ten steps when the front door burst open and not only his father, but his father and all four of his brothers burst into the hall, swords drawn, looking for all the world as if they'd expected a battle.
Rhys pulled up short and gaped. Robin, Nicholas, Montgomery, and John all did the same, piling up behind their father and almost sending him sprawling. Once the armored group of five regained their collective balance, a hush descended.
"So, 'tis as the abbot said," Robin whispered, in disbelief. "He did find a wench daft enough to wed him."
Rhys silenced his eldest son with an elbow to the ribs, then looked at Miles assessingly.
"I assumed I would come and find you overrun by ruffians, since you sent back your guardsmen."
"Nay, I am well," Miles said, fighting his smile.
Rhys nodded. "I can see why you wanted the hall to yourself."
"Aye," Miles agreed, "I daresay you can."
"Saints, she's fetching," Montgomery and John said together.
Miles scowled. His younger brothers were twins, and randy ones at that. He put an arm possessively around his wife.
"Aye, she is," he growled. "And she wed me"
"Poor girl," Robin said, with a regretful shake of his head. "Montgomery, go fetch Mother and the girls so they can offer Miles’s bride some well-needed comfort. I've no doubt she's had a very trying day."
Miles growled at Robin. His eldest brother sent a nasty grin back his way. Miles turned his attention back to his sire. He watched his father chew on the facts for a moment or two and come to a decision. Rhys resheathed his sword and crossed the hall. He took Abigail's hand and raised it to his lips.
"Well met, daughter," he said, with a gentle smile. "My son smiles, so I must assume you have made him do so. Now, how does he sit with you? Tolerably well?"
"Oh," Abigail said faintly. "I think he's wonderful."
Miles beamed at his father. "She has excellent taste, Papa, don't you think?"
Rhys laughed. "Saints, Miles, here I thought I would find you shut up in this pile of stones like a hermit, and now I find I've interrupted the post-nuptial festivities."
"Aye," Miles said, remembering why he'd been irritated with his sire. "You timing is, as usual, very poor."
He would have said quite a bit more, but he didn't have the chance, for his mother, sisters, sister-in-law, and numerous nieces and nephews had entered the hall, along with the abbot, several people who weren't family but thought they were, and an army of servants. Miles groaned. Where was he going to put all these souls? And where was he going to find privacy with Abigail?
"Peachy," he muttered to Abigail, then threw his father a very disgruntled look. He received a wink and a hearty laugh in return. Miles scowled and turned to watch his mother come toward him. He had the feeling, much to his further disgruntlement, that once the introductions were made, it would be the last he would see of his wife for quite some time.

abby staggered under the onslaught of people. Once Miles's mother had entered the room, chaos erupted. If her beauty hadn't been enough to do it, the way she herded the men into work parties certainly would have. She was followed by at least two dozen people who were dressed very nicely, and at least a dozen who Abby surmised must be servants. Miles's mother came to her immediately.
"I'm Gwen," she said, "and I can see why Miles kept you a secret, for he would have been fighting his brothers to have you."
"Oh," Abby said, clutching Miles's hand, "I think I would have liked him best anyway." 
Miles laughed and gave Abby s hand a gentle squeeze. "I think she loves me, Mama."
"How on earth were you fortunate enough to find her, my son?"
"Abby chased her cat into my moat."
Abby willed Miles to look at her, and he did—finally. He winked, then leaned down to kiss her.
"I'm afraid the only privacy we may have is in the stables. When I can get you away from the women of my family, that is."
"Shucks, what's a little hay between friends?"
"My thoughts exactly—"
And that was the last she saw of him for quite some time. Gwen took her in hand. Abby found nothing but affection and acceptance in Gwen's aqua eyes, and soon felt completely at ease with the woman. Gwen formally introduced her to Miles's four brothers, his twin sister, and his elder sister. Then there were the in-laws, which was confusing in its own right; grandchildren, and then non-family members who seemed to feel just like family. Abby promptly forgot everyone's name. Oh, the hazards of too many in-laws!
"Greenery!" one older boy yelled. "Where does it go, Grandmother Gwen?"
Gwen linked arms with Abby. " ‘Tis Abby's hall, Phillip. She'll tell you where she likes it."
"And we've things for you," said another in-law, a woman who looked like a younger version of Gwen. "I'm Amanda. Miles and I fight, but not as badly as I fight with Robin. Oddly enough, I had the feeling Miles would marry soon. I think I must have brought these with you in mind." She held up a basket filled with, of all things, solid soap, clean linen towels, and a comb. Abby sniffed the soap cautiously, then smiled in relief.
"Oh, thank you."
"Aye, and I've things for you, too," another young woman said. She had long, blond hair and dusty green eyes. "I'm Anne, Robin's wife, and I never fight with Miles. I think he's wonderful, even when he's being moody. I daresay you've already begun to tame him. He seems very cheerful."
"Well, I—" Abby began, then she was distracted by clothes that didn't look like Miles's hand-me-downs.
Then it was off to a comer behind a makeshift screen. She was given hot water and no privacy for a sponge bath, but the clothes more than made up for that. No sooner had she been properly dressed and coiffed, then heavenly smells began to waft from the kitchen.
She came around the screen to find that the hall had been transformed. The floor had been freshened up, tables had been set up and covered with tableclothes, and food was starting to pour from the kitchen. Greenery had been scattered all over the hall and even a tapestry had been hung.
She looked for Miles. He was standing near the bonfire listening to his younger brothers, who seemed to be tumbling over each other trying to tell him some story. Then he caught sight of her. Abby blushed as Miles left his siblings talking to thin air and came directly across the room, pushing family and furniture out of his way to get to her. She smiled weakly.
"Like the dress?"
His mouth came down on hers. Well, that was answer enough. She clutched his arms as he finally lifted his head. Once she could focus again, she looked at him.
"I guess you do."
He smiled down at her. "Aye, I do." He stepped back a pace, made her a low bow, then offered her his arm. "Shall we partake of the festivities?"
Abby took his arm and let him lead her to the table. Within minutes, the table was overflowing with food. A small handful of musicians produced instruments and began to play. The festivities were soon going full swing. Abby had barely started to eat before she found herself being paid more attention to than the medieval celebration going on around her.
Toddlers toddled over to her. Children wanted to touch her hair and listen to her talk with her strange accent. And once they'd done that to their satisfaction, they simply wanted to be near her. Miles's family hovered around her, telling her stories about her new husband, asking her questions about her own life. His older brothers repeatedly asked why she'd settled for such a clod of dirt when there were two perfectly good de Piaget brothers still looking for wives.

After quite a while spent at the table, the company adjourned to chairs encircling the fire. Abby leaned back against her chair and looked around her, hardly able to believe the twists and turns life had sent her along over the past few days. She shook her head, marveling. Her grandmother's favorite saying had been "All in due time." That, of course, had always been preceded by a bout of serious headshaking. Abby understood completely. Who would have thought she would find the man of her dreams and the Christmas she'd always wanted seven hundred years in the past? Maybe due time had a sense of humor—but what a wonderful sense of humor! So Miles's hall wasn't exactly something Currier and Ives would have put to canvas; this was so much better because it was real.
Food abounded. Family was gathered around her, a family that came with helpful hands, warm hearts, and teasing smiles. She had a tree in the form of the greenery Miles's family had lovingly brought to spruce up his castle. The fire sparkled enough for hundreds of twinkling lights. And her best gift sat next to her, running his thumb over the back of her hand and looking at her with love in his eyes. He had given her so much more than a roof over her head, his own clothes to wear, and inedible stew. Abby smiled at him through her tears.
"Thank you," she said simply.
He smiled in return. "For all these appropriately Christmassy items? For my family?"
She nodded. "And, most especially, for you."
"God bless my surly and moody self," he said, with a gentle smile. He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "I love you," he whispered into her ear.
"I love you, too."
He pulled back and looked at her. "I don't know what my life would have been like without you ... ha ... ha ... ha-hachoo!"
"Uncle Miles!" a young boy said, frothing at the mouth with excitement. "Look what I found outside!"
"Oh, kittens," Abby exclaimed. "How wonderful!"
"Won—wonder—hachoo!" Miles sneezed. "Dab cats!"
"Oh, Kendrick," Amanda exclaimed, following hard on the boy's heels, "put the kittens back outside!" She looked at Abby apologetically. "His father put him up to it, of course, the lout." She turned to the brother in question and glared. "Saints, Robin, you know Miles can't bear the smell of the beasties!"
Robin didn't appear to care. He was tipped back in his chair, laughing heartily. Or at least he was until Amanda marched over, put her foot on the front of his chair, and shoved.
"Out, now," Miles said, hauling Abby to her feet. "Before the war erupts."
"Where to?" she asked as he dragged her toward the door, away from his laughing family and bellowing brother.
"The stables. They'll never look for us there."
Abby fled with him outside and out to the stables. They stopped finally in front of a stall. They hay was covered with a blanket and a candle had been left lit on a stool.
"My mother obviously thinks nothing of my horseflesh," Miles grumbled. "She could have burned the whole bloody place down."
"Your mother did this?"
He smiled down at her and drew her into his arms. "She was freshly wed once too. She likes you very much, else she wouldn't have bothered. Come to think of it, I like you very much too."
"How convenient," she said, smiling up at him.
"I thought so," he said, lowering his mouth to hers. "Now, where were we before my family overran our wedding bed?"
and AS miles made her his in that very chilly stable, Abby decided several things.
One, central heating just wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Two, condemned heretics made mighty fine lovers.
And three, Sir Sweetums deserved a promotion!

Epilogue
sir maximillian sweetums reclined on a most comfortable cloud, contemplating his well-deserved repast. He brought a particularly plump Tender Vittle to his aristocratic nose and sniffed critically. Ah, the bouquet was excellent! He partook with relish.
"So, Boss, you finished up de job?"
Sir Sweetums was in such a fine mood, he didn't begrudge the bulldog his interruption of afternoon tea. "Yes, dear Bruno, my task is finished. The Abigail is well settled."
"Yeah, Boss, but dose kids she's gonna get." The bulldog shuddered. "Yikes!"
"Never fear, Bruno. I'll be there to aid her when she needs it. And I'll have a care for her little ones. All part of the job, you know."
Bruno struggled to scratch behind his ear. Once he managed to get his foot within range, he scratched thoughtfully.
"Dese jobs, Boss. Uh, don't you need some help sometimes?"
"Indeed, Bruno, it is a most taxing venture," Sir Sweetums agreed. “Never a moment to sit idly by."
"Den, uh, Boss, I was wonderin', you know, when . . . uh—"
The bulldog was positively aquiver with nervousness. Sir Sweetums looked at his loyal companion and felt compassion stir within his feline breast.
"Perhaps the next assignment, dear boy. It looks to be quite a tangle to unravel."
"Golly, boss, really? I really get to go dis time?"
Bruno leaped up in joy, lost his balance and fell through half a dozen clouds before he remembered how it all worked.
Sir Sweetums sighed. It would be a very long unraveling indeed, with Bruno aboard.
"More cream, Boss?" Bruno bellowed happily from quite a distance. 
"Anything else I can get yous?"	
"Perhaps, something from a different galaxy, my friend," Sir Sweet- ums called.
Bruno bounded off enthusiastically. Sir Sweetums resettled himself to enjoy his peace and quiet. Yes, indeed, how happy The Abigail and The Miles were together. Sir Sweetums basked in the glow of a task well finished. The tranquillity was, of course, destined to last only as long as it took The Abigail to produce a child or two.
Bruno was, unfortunately, very correct about the offspring. Yikes! was the word indeed.
But never fear, dear reader, never fear! Sir Sweetums knew that The Abigail and her dashing Sir Miles would weather any storm together and love each other more for the surviving of it. In time he would, as a member of the Guardian Feline Association, have The Abigail's dark-haired, gray-eyed children to watch over. With any luck at all, they wouldn't inherit The Miles's propensity for sneezing at the slightest provocation. Sir Sweetums smiled.
It was indeed a wonderful afterlife!

END