Night Beasts-Night Beasts-
By Alan McGregor


Prologue
"They're coming again!"
"No," her sister said soothingly.
"They are! They're coming, and they're coming tonight!" Susan knew her sister 
believed her. Carol and her sister shared a closeness few sisters, Susan was 
sure, experienced. And whenever Susan felt another visitation coming upon her, 
Carol would always tell Susan that it wouldn't happen. Susan would feel the fear 
and Carol would comfort her. That was the way it had been since the young women 
were little girls. Susan would awaken in the night, sweat soaking her bunny 
pajamas, and Carol would always be there to comfort her.
"How long has it been since the last time?" Carol asked. "It's been a long time, 
hasn't it? They've probably given up on you...don't you think?"
"No. No, they will never give up on me. They will never leave me alone," Susan 
said desperately.
Carol pulled the car into a parking space, then took the keys from the ignition 
and put them into her purse. She looked up at Susan sitting next to her. "They 
will drive me crazy, you know," Susan said. She felt a sudden sadness that took 
her breath from her. "I'm a twenty-nine year old woman who lives with a waking 
nightmare."
"Maybe..."
"No." Susan put up her hands. "No, don't start. Sometimes it enrages me that 
this isn't happening to you. It enrages me that I am plagued by this and you 
aren't. I love you, Carol, but I resent having to fight this nightmare alone."
"If you would only try to..."
"Try to what?" Susan said. "Try to what? Forget they are part of my life? Forget 
that they so intrude on my life that I dare not ever become emotionally involved 
with another because he wouldn't understand? Because he would think I'm crazy?"
"I didn't mean it to sound that way."
Susan dug her fingers into her face in frustration. "I know you didn't. But I 
want what you have. I want a husband like Dan and I want children like Michael 
and Moses. I want what you have. I want a normal life, damn it! I just want a 
normal life!" She was aware that her emotional outburst only served to upset 
both of them, but it was always like this.
"Drinking won't solve your problem, Susan."
"I...I don't drink," Susan said, flustered at this accusation.
"Do you think I'm stupid, girl? I can smell it on you. The car reeks with the 
smell of alcohol. How long have you been drinking?" Her sister looked at her, 
her eyes boring into her.
"I only...I only drink when I know they're coming."
"I don't believe you, Susan. It may have started that way, but I'm smelling it 
on you more and more. It's only two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and already 
you've started drinking. I didn't want to say anything to you because Dan told 
me to stay out of it, but I can't let this go by. You'll destroy yourself with 
that stuff."
"Now you listen to me," Susan said coldly, "these things come to me and terrify 
me and hurt me. When they finish with me, they put me back into my bed and I 
wake up the next morning with something far worse than a hangover. I have no 
defense against them, Carol. They take me, do what they want with me, then throw 
me back in bed."
"But..."
"Stop, Carol. Don't lecture me. You've never gone through this and you don't 
understand. I remember everything when they take me. Everything. You know this 
all too well. I don't even need a hypnotist to bring out my stories. These 
things don't even take my memory like they do with some. I remember each event 
in all its terrifying details."
"You don't have to remind me of this, Susan. We've lived with this for at least 
twenty-six years."
"If this were happening to you, you couldn't live with it!" Susan spat. "You'd 
drink too if you were in my place. The booze helps me go to sleep and helps me 
to truly sleep until they come for me."
"Does it really help when they take you? Does it truly dull the fear you 
experience?"
Susan looked down at her lap. "No."
"Then stop this," Carol said gently. "Stop the drinking before it kills you."
"I can't. These beasts have me in a grip I can't escape from."
Chapter 1
The afternoon matinee did little to calm Susan. Whenever Susan would tell Carol 
"they" were coming again, Carol would take Susan somewhere, anywhere, in an 
effort to distract her from the horrible ordeal she was about to face. But it 
never worked. It didn't matter what kind of activity Carol had cooked up for 
her, Susan could not be distracted from the reality of her impending nightmare. 
And tonight Susan was more exhausted than usual because she knew that Carol had 
this time made an extra effort to keep Susan away from her whiskey bottle as 
long as she could?to keep her away from the mind numbing poison as long as she 
could. But Susan was desperate. Even though the shock of her experience with the 
"beasts" instantly sobered her up when they took her, she at least could drop 
into bed dead drunk until they came.
Susan began to panic: she was too sober now. She had been with Carol too long 
today. She would have to slug the booze down fast if she was going to provide 
any emotional protection for herself.
Susan went to the kitchen and pulled a fifth of whiskey from the kitchen 
cabinet. Then she took a water tumbler and poured three fingers of whiskey into 
it. She took a swallow. "Mmm," she mumbled with satisfaction as the whiskey 
burned like fire on the way to her stomach.
She sat down in front of the television. Already she was feeling the effects of 
the alcohol as it began to creep into her brain. A late-night talk show host 
blared his silly jokes from the screen. The image began to swim slightly as 
Susan slowly moved her head from side to side. Good?the alcohol was beginning to 
dull her senses. She could handle them now. She could live with this.
She looked at the glass, her head moving lazily as if she was now in a very safe 
place. The three fingers of booze was already gone. Somewhere back in Susan's 
brain she panicked at the amount of alcohol she had ingested in such a short 
amount of time, but the more aware part of her brain, the part that was 
terrified of what was to come, told her she was handling this problem in the 
only way she could.
---
"Ingesting alcohol is harmful."
"Yeah? Your clammy hands in my body is harmful too," Susan barked. She was here 
again. They had taken her again. The shorter ones stood around her table, 
looking at her with their huge black bulging eyes. They stood like school boys 
attentive to the taller one - the taller beast who was telepathing his 
displeasure to her. The taller one always expressed his displeasure. It was 
impossible to please him.
"You are a willful human."
"Let me go," Susan said. She began to cry now. "For the love of God, let me go. 
I can't take this anymore. You've examined every possible part of me since 
before I was three years old. Haven't you learned enough by now? Please let me 
go and let me live a normal life." If Susan would have had the strength to get 
up off the table she would have grabbed the thin neck of the taller being and 
choked the life from him. But she didn't have the strength. Whenever they would 
take her, they would also paralyze her. Only when they returned her to her bed 
would she regain her strength, and only after they were well away. And then it 
would be too late.
"You have been an interesting experiment."
Hope flared in her. "Does this mean you've finished with me? Are you going to 
stop taking me?"
"I did not imply this. You have been an interesting experiment and you will 
continue to be."
Susan began to cry again. She didn't want to. She knew these beings were 
extremely interested in the emotional side of her, and her crying only added 
fuel to their mad experiment. But she couldn't help it.
The tall one moved closer to her. As he had done many times before, he quickly 
took a sample of Susan's tears.
"Stop it! Stop it!" Susan screamed. "You know what's in my tears! You know...you 
know..." She sobbed uncontrollably now, so deep was her desperation and grief.
"Don't cry, Mother." A child, barely four years old, was now at her side. The 
child looked somewhat like Susan. She had seen the child many times before. The 
beings had told her that the child was hers, but Susan didn't believe them. She 
couldn't allow herself to believe them.
Susan could turn her head far enough to see the child, but she had no strength 
to reach out and touch it. Each time the child was brought to her Susan felt 
anguish for it. She wanted to take the child home with her. She wanted to hold 
it and raise it as her own. What could these alien beings possibly offer this 
child who looked so very human?
And now, as if a switch was activated in the child, it abruptly turned and left 
the room. The tall being moved very close to Susan and touched her nose by 
slowly leaning his flat, gray face into her face. The being didn't breathe. It 
simply was. Susan gagged at the closeness of the nightmare. Even though she had 
endured this act hundreds of times, she couldn't get over the horror of it. She 
felt as if she was being dropped into a nest of beetles.
"I am the same as you, Susan," the being telepathed, as if it picked up her 
revulsion. "We are both beings in this three dimensional space. We must learn to 
co-exist, you and I."
"Never!" Susan spat.
"Have either I or my people ever hurt you?"
"Yes! Many times! Are you totally stupid to what you do? Do you think you can 
just take us from our homes and treat us like animals? Are you people nuts?"
"We are the keepers of the garden. The garden is ours and the plants that grow 
within it also belong to us. We are a superior race who is taking care of you."
Susan didn't know how long she screamed, but when she awoke, her throat was so 
sore she could barely talk.
***
Susan didn't particularly care for her job. It was demanding. At times it was 
even challenging. But teaching calculus to university students was almost 
impossibly difficult when she would find herself standing at the blackboard, the 
explanation of how to find the first derivative using the chain rule ready to 
spill from her mind, and the memory of her brutal abduction the night before 
literally grinding her class presentation to pieces.
A hand went up. "Susan," the student began, "couldn't we just feed this problem 
into our handy little graphic calculators?"
She liked it when her students called her Susan. They liked her and she wanted 
them to be comfortable with her. "No, Helen. You won't learn anything if you 
just push buttons. I want you to write it out..." Susan pulled a pencil from her 
pocket, "with one of these." She made a funny face to the class. The class 
tittered.
A voice from the back of the room said, "You mean with one of those compressed 
graphite field plotters?"
The class broke into laughter at the student's engfish term referring to a 
common wooden pencil.
Susan smiled. "Yeah. Use a compressed graphite thing-a-ma-jiggy." As the class 
continued to laugh, Susan again turned to the board and carefully worked through 
the problem. She looked at her watch. "Whoops, we're out of time. Do the odd 
problems at the end of this section and tomorrow I'll introduce you to even more 
of the wonderful world of calculus."
The students, some right out of high school, others in their forties and going 
for a change of career, packed up their book bags and left the classroom. Susan 
sat down. She didn't have another class for two hours. She welcomed the break. 
"Wanna break with me?" A woman, smiling, stuck her head in the door.
"Hi, Alice. No. Not today, thanks. I've got some work in my office. Maybe 
tomorrow."
"Sure. See ya tomorrow." The woman left.
Susan picked up her textbook and walked towards her office. Students called her 
by name as she walked down the hallway. She re-evaluated. The job she had was a 
good job. The people she served made it worthwhile. If only...But she had no 
control over that. She had pleaded with them countless times to let her go, and 
each time they answered her in the same way: "We are the keepers of the garden. 
The garden is ours and the plants that grow within it also belong to us. We are 
a superior race who is taking care of you."
She walked into her office and slammed the door. Then she poured herself a cup 
of coffee. Maybe she was drinking too much. She downed a slug of the hot coffee. 
It tasted good. She needed the caffeine to kill the last remnants of the 
hangover she woke up with.
Susan quickly looked up at a quiet tapping on her door. Setting the coffee cup 
down, she opened the door. A man, a stranger, stood in front of her. "May I help 
you?" Susan asked.
"I...I don't know," the man stammered.
There was something alarming in the man's manner. He wasn't threatening. He was 
confused and Susan knew this instinctively. So without hesitation, she said, 
"Please, come in."
Chapter 2
Susan quickly re-evaluated her act of good will. The man's hair was, long, 
unkempt and dirty. It appeared as if he hadn't shaved for at least a week. And 
his clothes were wrinkled as if he'd slept in them. But she couldn't just leave 
him standing here. "Would you like to sit down?" she offered.
The man looked at her intently. Then he said, "May I?"
"Yes. Oh, please." Susan pulled out a chair. "Sit," she said, not meaning to 
sound bossy, but realizing this man needed some kind of direction.
The man sat down slowly into the padded chair. Then he began to stare at his 
surroundings. He would turn his head five or ten degrees, then stop and stare 
for a few seconds, then continue turning his head a few more degrees, then stare 
again. She was suddenly acutely aware of just how messy and disorganized her 
office was. "The place is a trash heap, I know, but..."
The man stopped turning his head and stared off into space.
"Are you all right?" Susan asked
"Well, I..."
"I can call the nurse, if you like." She knew Brian was the nurse on duty today.
He slowly turned his head towards her. "Nurse?" he said. "A medical caretaker?"
"Uh, yes. I guess you could call him a medical caretaker, although I'm sure he 
has never heard himself addressed in quite that way. Would you like me to phone 
him?"
"What would he do to me?" the man asked.
"He would...well, he might take your blood pressure," Susan said kindly. "Maybe 
your temperature. He would check your vital signs so we would know you were all 
right." Susan felt frustration rising within her. This man had to communicate 
with her more fully if he wanted her to help him.
"Well," the man said, "I would allow this caretaker to check my vital signs. 
Would you like me to allow him to do this?"
Susan exhaled sharply. Who was this man? "I will call the nurse if you like. 
Shall I do that for you?" Susan asked in what she knew to be too loud a voice.
"Yes," the man said quietly.
Susan quickly dialed the number of the campus nurse. A voice on the other end 
said, "Campus nurse. Brian speaking."
"Brian?"
"What's wrong, Suzie?"
"Brian, I have a man here who apparently isn't feeling very well. Could you 
quick like a bunny bring your little black bag right over here?"
"Are you in your office?"
"Yes. Please hurry."
"Be right there."
Susan hung up. "The nurse will be right here," she said reassuringly. "He's in 
this same building so it won't take him long."
"What is a bunny?" the man asked.
"What?"
"You told the medical caretaker to come quick like a bunny. What is a bunny? And 
what is in the little black bag?"
"Well..." God, she was frustrated. "A bunny is an animal. It's a rabbit. Do you 
know what a rabbit is?"
"A rabbit is a small animal with fur and long ears. It hops rather than walks 
smoothly like we humans do."
Susan looked at this man with confused eyes. Where had this man come from? He 
didn't know what a bunny was, but he knew well what a rabbit was, and she was 
oddly impressed by his self assurance. "Yes, that's what a rabbit is," she 
answered. "Another name for a rabbit is 'bunny.' Children often call rabbits 
bunnies."
"Oh," the man said.
"As for what's in the little black bag, you're soon to find out." The door 
opened and Brian stepped in.
The eyes of Susan and Brian met. The man looked alarmed. "Are you and the nurse 
friends?"
"Yes," Susan said. "This is my friend, Brian. He is a medical caretaker."
Brian looked quickly at Susan. 'Medical caretaker?' he mouthed.
Susan ignored his silent comment. "Brian, this man isn't feeling well. That's 
why I called you."
Brian sat down on a chair, set his black bag on the floor, then opened the bag 
and took out his blood pressure cuff. He looked at the man. "What do you feel 
like?"
"I feel," the man said. He again looked around at Susan's office. "It's good to 
feel."
Susan glanced at Brian. Brian said, "Would you allow me to check your blood 
pressure?" He unrolled the blood pressure cuff and showed it to the man.
The man looked at the unrolled cuff, now a long gray band dangling from Brian's 
hand. The man touched it. Then he said, "If you like."
Brian wrapped the cuff around the man's arm, put his stethoscope in his ears, 
then pumped the cuff up. The man sat very still as Brian let some air out, 
looked at the gauge, pumped the cuff tight again, looked at the gauge again, 
then let the air all the way out and took the cuff from his arm. "Your pressure 
is fine. It's one twenty over seventy. It's in the normal range." Brian leaned 
into his bag and took out an electronic thermometer.
"What is that?" the man asked, alarm on his face.
"It's just a thermometer. It takes your body temperature almost instantly. I put 
this end into your ear. It won't hurt you." Holding onto the handle, Brian mimed 
putting the cone-shaped sensor into his own ear.
The man quickly stood up. "No!" he said. "No, I will not allow this! You will 
violate me! No!"
"Okay, okay, sir," Brian said soothingly. "I won't take your temperature."
The man stood, his knees quackeing. "Please don't put that in my ear. Please."
"I won't," Brian said. "Sit down. I won't hurt you. Really...I'm sorry to have 
upset you."
The man sat down slowly. "And I'm sorry to have reacted so foolishly to your 
request. The device is to read my body temperature?"
"Yeah," Brian said. "But we can skip taking your temperature."
"Skip?" the man asked. He looked at Susan as if he was looking to her for help.
"I won't do it," Brian said. "I'll skip it. I won't do it."
The man wrinkled his eyebrows. "You may read my body temperature if you like. I 
apologize for my rudeness. Proceed."
Brian stood up, then carefully, in a nonthreating way put the cone into the 
man's ear. The man flinched slightly. Brian quickly withdrew the cone and read, 
"98.4 on the display. Your temperature is normal." The man sat back down on his 
chair.
Brian looked at Susan. "Why did you call me? This man's vitals are fine."
The man smiled slightly. "Your friend called me because she thought I was 
mentally confused."
Susan lurched in her chair. "I was concerned for you," she said. "If you knew 
why I was concerned, why did you let me call for Brian?" She tried to keep the 
anger from her voice, but knew she had failed miserably.
"I am confused," the man said. "I allowed you to call because I don't want to 
feel confused. I was hoping the medical caretaker could dispel my confusion." 
The man stood up. He looked at Susan, then at Brian. "Thank you for trying to 
help me. I must leave now."
"Wait," Susan said. "If you are confused, you should go to the hospital."
"Hospital." The man said the word slowly, rolling the syllables around on his 
tongue. "Hospital," he said again. He turned around, opened the office door, and 
left.
"Weird!" Brian said. "I'm glad you called. What a weird man. Why did you even 
let him in? Knowing you, he probably just showed up at your office door and you 
let him in."
"He's confused, Brian. Have some sensitivity for him," Susan said. Sometimes 
Brian irritated her. Sometimes Brian was as sensitive as a rock. Like now.
"Oh, don't get into an uproar," Brian said. "I just made an off-handed comment 
about someone I don't even know. We'll never see him again."
"You don't know that," Susan said. "That man was confused. We shouldn't have 
even let him go. He could walk across the street and get hit by a car, for 
crying out loud. Sometimes I wonder why you ever became a nurse. It's times like 
these that I'd just like to smack you."
"So it's probably not a good time to ask you if you'd like me to come over 
tonight."
Susan sighed deeply. "Not tonight, Brian. I'm really too tired to be decent 
company to you."
"That's all right. I don't need company when we're in bed."
She knew Brian said it in a teasing way, but it struck her wrong. She wasn't up 
for his coarse sense of humor just now. "Not tonight."
Brian touched her breast. She slapped his hand. "What the hell," he said. What's 
eating you today?'
"Nothing. Nothing is eating me."
"If you would have let me come over last night you wouldn't be in such a grouchy 
mood today," he said, pouting.
Susan knew they were coming last night. She never missed in forecasting their 
coming. She didn't dare have Brian over on a night she knew the beasts would 
visit her. And she was finally beginning to admit to herself that Brian was not 
compatible with her. He would never understand her visitors. He would never 
sympathize with her plight or hold her in the middle of the night after they had 
put her back into bed. And she didn't know if they would take him along with 
her. If they did, how would Brian react to the abject horror Susan had so long 
endured? Brian was a nice person in his own way, but Susan needed someone who 
would love her no matter what. It was becoming more and more evident that Brian 
just didn't fit into her life.
"I think it's time for us to call it quits, Brian." There. She had said it. She 
had been working herself up to this point for weeks, and now it was out in the 
open.
"Well, now, how long have you been grinding this around in your pretty little 
head, doll?" He reached for her breast again.
"Don't." She brushed away his sudden advances. "And don't call me 'doll'. You 
know I don't like it when you call me that."
Brian picked up his black bag and stuffed the thermometer and blood pressure 
gear back into it. "So, we're calling it quits, then?"
"It seems so." Susan couldn't look at him. She knew she'd hurt him. She just 
wanted him to leave her office.
"Fine." He slammed the door on his way out.
Chapter 3
Susan refused to let her now defunct relationship with Brian rattle her. The 
relationship had soured between them almost as soon as it began, but Susan held 
on because she desperately needed a friend. Not necessarily a lover, although 
that would have been wonderful, but a friend she could tell her troubles to. 
Brian wasn't that kind of friend. Brian's favorite three letter words were 
'bed,' 'lay,' and 'sex.' Susan certainly wasn't against having a real lover in 
her life, but Brian wasn't a lover. Brian simply wanted sex, and to Susan the 
difference between love and sex was too great for her to accept just anyone into 
her life.
***
During the last few days Susan frequently found herself wondering about the 
disheveled man who had somehow found her office door. She wondered where he was 
and what he was doing. She wondered if he was all right. There would be no way 
to find him, she was sure. Granite Falls was quite a large town for such a 
quaint name. Its population wasn't huge, if one considered forty thousand 
citizens small, but the town spread out across the countryside like a blanket. 
If the man decided to hide or not come back, there would be no way she could 
find him.
The day at work had been quite long. Susan had given three tests, one in the 
morning and two in the afternoon, and sitting in a quiet classroom checking test 
papers while the students sat in their chairs sweating bullets over Susan's test 
questions made for a work day that seemed to take forever to end. Now she was 
driving home. She couldn't wait to see her "family." She hoped they had missed 
her as much as she missed them. For just an instant she had pangs of regret for 
dismissing Brian from her life so abruptly, but it had to be done. It was better 
this way.
She pulled the car into the driveway. Thor, Susan's big German shepherd, came up 
to her, sprang up on his hind legs and licked her face. "Hi, Thor. Hi, boy," she 
said as she laughed and turned her face away from his incessant licking. She 
loved the attention, but sometimes Thor's big tongue proved to be too much for 
her.
She pulled the garage door closed and walked into the house, the dog following 
her and slapping his tail from side to side as he paced her shadow. "Eleanor?" 
Susan called. "Eleanor, come here and say hello to your mama."
A cat, fully grown with beautiful steel gray fur, slowly walked into the kitchen 
from the living room and, purring like a motor boat, casually rubbed up against 
Susan's legs. Susan reached down and lovingly picked up the twelve pound animal. 
She scratched Eleanor's head, then set her back onto the floor. "I think my 
babies have missed me," she said.
She felt good. She was sure they weren't coming tonight. At times she regretted 
her stubbornness which tied her to living on this acreage. It was a good five 
miles from town. She was vulnerable out here. She knew that. A mad man could 
easily break into her house and rape her, or worse. The beasts who had been her 
constant visitors could, if they ever chose to show themselves to her during the 
day, come here and do who knew what to her? A normal human being would be 
terrified living on this twenty acres under these circumstances, but Susan 
wasn't a normal human being. She was tough and she was stubborn. And no one - no 
one would drive her off this beautiful place.
And Susan had a guardian whom she trusted with her life. Her guardian was Thor. 
Thor would tear to pieces any living thing that would threaten her, whether it 
be human or nightmare. Of this she was sure of.
She ate a casual supper. Sometimes she made a considerable effort to cook a nice 
meal, but at other times she would open a can of soup and warm it in the 
microwave. Tonight she ate soup. She could cook veggies in her wok tomorrow 
night.
After she finished her meal, she went into the stables and talked to her horses. 
She considered taking a ride on Elmo, the big bay her father had given her, but 
thought better of it. The weekend was only two days away; she would ride him 
then.
She came back into the house. The house seemed empty without Brian. She reached 
for the phone and almost dialed his number, but at the last moment she put the 
carry-phone down. Inviting him back into her life would be the biggest mistake 
she could possibly make right now.
Susan went to the cupboard, opened the door and took the whiskey bottle from the 
shelf. She looked at the bottle in her hand, then set it down. No, she didn't 
need to drink tonight. They weren't coming for her tonight. She toyed with the 
idea of sitting down with the bottle and a glass and slowly sipping. After all, 
what would be the harm in that? she asked herself. Not knowing how or why she 
talked herself out of it, she put the bottle back into the cupboard and closed 
the door.
***
"So you've decided not to even talk to me?" Brian looked down at Susan sitting 
at the lunch table in the student commons. "You could at least say hello. We 
still work in the same place. You could at least give me the courtesy of a nod."
Susan slowly and deliberately wiped her mouth with her napkin and looked up at 
this handsome man who didn't fit her emotional bill. "I hate you when you beg," 
she said.
"You hate me when I don't."
Susan sighed deeply. "Stop it, Brian. Don't take this so personal."
Brian sat down across from her. "Personal? Just how am I supposed to take it 
then? We were getting along fine last week. You dumped me so fast I didn't even 
see it coming."
Susan put her head in her hands. "Why do relationships have to be so 
complicated?" she said through her fingers. She looked at Brian and said, "I 
refuse to feel sorry for you."
"Why? Because you've started to feel sorry for him?" Brian wagged his head, 
motioning to a forlorn looking man sitting alone at a table across the way.
Susan started in her chair. "It's him. It's the man who came to my door the 
other day."
Brian leaned over and said angrily but quietly, "Yeah, same guy. Now you can go 
to his door."
Susan's eyes fixed on the man at the table. She stood up shakily. "Excuse me, 
Brian."
"Oh, yeah, sure. Why not? Go. He needs you much more than I need you."
She turned and gave Brian a firm look of displeasure. Then she walked to the man 
who today looked even more pathetic than when she had seen him the first time 
last week. "Hello," Susan said cautiously.
"Hello," the man said.
"May I sit down?"
"Yes."
She sat. "How are you?" Susan asked. She realized it was bold to ask such a 
question of a man she didn't even know, but she was concerned for him. She 
wanted to know.
"I'm all right."
"Truly?" She looked into his eyes.
"I'm all right," he said again.
She could see his hands shaking. He tried to hide them, but it was too late; his 
hands were already out in the open and they began shaking violently.
"What's wrong with you?" Susan asked. "Do you know what's wrong with you? Are 
you on something?"
The man looked puzzled. "On something? What does that mean - on something?"
"Drugs," she whispered. "I know this is damned forward of me to come right out 
and ask you if you are on drugs, but if you are, I can find help for you."
"I'm hungry," the man said simply.
"When have you eaten last?" Susan asked.
The man looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes as if deep in thought. 
"Three days." His voice cracked as he said it.
"Three days ago?" Susan said, alarmed. "You haven't had anything to eat in three 
days?"
The man put his head down. "No. I'm very hungry."
Susan quickly stood up. "Come with me."
The man pushed back his chair and said shakily, "I don't know if I can walk, 
ma'am."
Susan looked across the cafeteria. "Brian?" she called.
Brian mouthed, 'Leave him alone,' and slowly shook his head from side to side.
Fine. She could do this without him. She went to the man and put her arm around 
him, then slowly pulled him to his feet.
"Where are we going?" the man asked.
"To my office. It's just out the door and into the next building. I can call for 
help if you don't think you can walk that far."
"No, I think I can walk that far."
"Lean on me, then."
The man leaned against her and they slowly made their way out of the cafeteria, 
out of the building, and then to her office. People looked at her as they 
bumbled down the hallway, but if they weren't good friends she ignored them and 
if they were good friends she told them she didn't need their help.
When they reached her office she sat him down. "Would you prefer the door open 
or closed?" Susan asked.
"Close it, please. I don't want to be seen this way."
This was the first hint of pride the man had shown her. In this simple request 
he suddenly didn't seem so pathetic to her. She closed the door. Then she opened 
the door of her refrigerator. "I try to eat healthy," she said. "I have a well 
stocked fridge here at work. I only eat at the commons when I'm bored."
"Are you still friends with the medical caretaker?" the man asked.
Startled, Susan said, "That's a strange question."
The man looked at her, puzzlement on his face. "It is a strange question, isn't 
it?"
Susan said, "You have to eat something. What would you like?"
"Anything," the man said. "I will eat anything you care to give me."
"I'll make you a sandwich," Susan said. She made the man a ham sandwich with 
cheese on it. He needed a robust meal, but she was careful not to give him 
something that would be difficult to digest because she knew a stomach that 
hadn't had food in it for three days was no doubt tender and easy to irritate.
She cut the sandwich up into small pieces and put them on a saucer. Then she had 
the man sit down at the small conference table she used for anything but 
conferences. "I'd give you coffee, but that might be a bit too much for your 
stomach. Shall we start with water?"
"Please," the man said. He began to eat the sandwich and quickly turned to 
stuffing it into his mouth.
"Hey, hey," Susan said. She took his wrist in her fingers to restrain him. "You 
can't eat it that fast. You'll end up with a stomach ache bigger than Chicago."
"Yes," he said shakily, "I don't want a stomach ache." He slowed then. When he 
finished he sat back against his chair and almost sagged with relief. "Thank you 
very much, ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am," Susan said. "Call me Susan. Most people call me Susan." 
Susan thought it curious the way he was stiffly formal in the way he spoke one 
minute, then almost casual the way he spoke the next.
"Your name is Susan?"
"Yes. May I ask your name?"
"I don't know."
Susan giggled. "You mean you don't know if I should ask your name?"
"No. I mean I don't know my name."
Chapter 4
Susan didn't know what to do now. She had a strange man in her office and the 
man didn't even know his own name. On the surface he appeared to be vulnerable, 
but Susan thought she saw below the surface. She thought she sensed a man who 
was frustrated more than vulnerable. "Well, it certainly puts you at a 
disadvantage not to know your name. I would help you if I could," she said.
The man smiled through his scraggly whiskers. "I'm sure you would," he said 
softly. He got up from the table. "I've taken severe advantage of your 
hospitality. I apologize for inconveniencing you."
"Where will you go?" Susan asked. She didn't want him to leave.
"I don't know. I've somehow survived this long. I'll continue to survive. Thank 
you very much for helping me."
"You can't just leave," Susan said. She felt desperate for him now.
"I must. You have to go back to your work and I have to..."
"What?" Susan interrupted. "What will you go back to?"
The man sat back down on the chair. "I don't know," he said. "I am so confused. 
I must have a name. Everyone has a name. But I don't have one," he whispered.
Susan's mind was running furiously. There had to be a solution for him. She 
couldn't just let him go back out on the street, if that's where he came from. 
"Look," Susan said, "tell me if I'm out of line here, but I would like to take 
you home with me." She slapped her forehead. "No, that sounds stupid. I didn't 
mean it to sound that way. I'm making it sound like I want you for a pet."
The man stared. "What's a pet?"
Susan stared back. "A pet is a dog or a cat or some other kind of animal a 
person keeps for company."
The man laughed. "No, I am not a pet."
Susan sighed. "Forgive me. Let me try this again. I have an acreage five miles 
outside of town. You are welcome to come home with me. You can stay as long as 
you like. Maybe a good rest with no fear or stress of wondering where your next 
meal is coming from will help you regain your memory."
"Perhaps," the man said.
Susan wasn't worried about taking this man home with her. Thor was her guardian. 
Thor would tear the man apart if he so much as looked at Susan crossways. She 
looked intently at the man. "You really don't have any choice in the matter. 
Your other alternative is to go back out on the street.
"Yes," he said. "That is my only other alternative."
"Fine, it's settled then. Come on."
"But don't you have to go back to work?"
"No. I have no more classes for the day. We can go home."
Susan locked up her office, then led the man out of the building and into the 
parking lot to her car. When they got in, the man said, "This is a new 
experience for me."
"What? Going home with a strange woman?" She laughed.
"No. I've never been in something like this before."
Susan sat back against the seat and let out her breath. "I don't want to seem 
disrespectful, but you are an adult. Somewhere back in your past you have ridden 
in a car."
"That's possible, I suppose, but I don't recall ever being in something like 
this. I have seen pictures of this, but I have never been inside one."
"Well, you think about it. Your past car rides will come to you." She clipped 
her safety belt. The man looked at what she did, then tried to fasten his own 
belt but failed.
"Here, I'll help you," Susan said. "Strange cars can be a problem when you try 
to find the seat belt clip." She pulled the belt across his chest and clipped 
the belt snugly. "There," she said. "Now you're safe." The man looked at her 
appreciatively.
***
As Susan drove up the long gravel driveway to her house, she began to worry. The 
man had said almost nothing during the drive out, and now Susan wondered if Thor 
could truly protect her if this man proved to be dangerous.
"I'm troubling you," the man said as the car rolled across the gravel.
"Why would you say that?"
"Because you have been very quiet. I don't mean to frighten you. I won't hurt 
you. I may not remember my name or my past, but I'm sure I am incapable of 
harming anyone."
Susan felt somewhat better. What the man had just said was no proof he wouldn't 
hurt her, but neither did it make sense that a man who seemed as gentle and 
considerate as he would seek to do her harm.
She pulled up to the garage door and got out. She ducked back into the car and 
said, "My dog is very protective of me so let me talk to him first. I'll explain 
that you are my...friend."
"All right." The man sat back in his seat and Thor rounded the corner from 
behind the house. He came bounding up to Susan and sprang off his hind legs and 
onto the front of her just as he did everyday he met her when she came home.
"Hey," Susan said as she tried to dodge Thor's tongue. "Hey, boy." She petted 
Thor and coood him until the dog finally contentedly laid down on the grass.
"All right," Susan said to the man. "Get out of the car slowly and come around 
to us. Try not to be afraid. He'll sense that if you are."
She heard the car door click open. Then she saw the man come to the front of the 
car and finally to her. He slowly got down on his haunches. "What is his name?" 
the man asked gently. "Does he have a name like I am supposed to have a name?"
"Thor. His name is Thor." Susan felt her heart skip and scatter slightly, and 
she really didn't know if it was because she was concerned for the man's safety 
or if his very presence made her feel this way.
"Hello, Thor." The man softly petted the top of Thor's head. Thor looked up at 
him with one eye cocked up. Susan almost laughed at how funny the dog looked.
Thor slowly got onto his feet. Then he nuzzled the man's hand. Susan was 
stupefied. Never had Thor shown this much affinity this quickly to a stranger. 
"He likes you," Susan said.
The man smiled. "Yes, it seems he does."
"Let's go in the house," Susan said. "Maybe you would like to wash up."
"Wash up? What do you mean, wash up?"
"Well...I was thinking that maybe you would like to take a shower."
The man looked at her. Could it be he didn't know what a shower was? Susan 
wondered. "I have a pair of jeans you just may fit into." She looked at the 
man's dirty jeans and shirt. "And I have a one size fits all T-shirt you can 
wear."
Again the man stared, apparently uncomprehending.
"Look," Susan said, frustrated now, but not wanting to make the man feel bad, 
"your pants are dirty, your shirt is dirty, and I don't think you've showered 
for a week. I'm offering my home to you."
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"Damn it, man, I want you to take a shower. I'll throw your clothes in the 
washer while you wear my pants and shirt. Do you understand what I'm talking 
about?"
"No," the man said sadly.
She took his hand. She had no idea why she was so forward with him, but it 
seemed to her as if he needed guidance and she was going to provide it. "Come 
into the house." She looked down. "Come on, Thor, let's show this man what a 
shower is."
Thor followed them into the house. Susan dug out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. 
"When did you shave last?"
"Shave?"
"Oh, God, I think you're putting me on," she said. "I really do. No one could 
have amnesia like you have. No one."
"Please tell me what you mean. I know I'm frustrating you, but I don't mean to."
"Your beard," Susan said. She rubbed her own face between thumb and fingers to 
indicate a beard.
"Ohhh," the man said, understanding coming into his eyes. "Just how would I get 
it off."
Susan puffed out her cheeks and exhaled slowly. Then she pulled a kitchen chair 
away from the table. "Sit," she ordered.
The man sat down. Susan took a towel and draped it around his neck and 
shoulders. "Don't move," she said. She went into the bathroom and got the shaver 
she used to keep her legs neat. Then she took down the can of shaving cream from 
the medicine cabinet shelf and headed back into the kitchen with them both. The 
man was talking softly to Thor. Thor was sitting, looking up at the man as if 
the man was holding court.
Susan smiled, then went to the sink and soaked a wash cloth with warm water.
"What are you going to do to me?" the man asked.
"I'm going to shave you." Susan put the warm, wet cloth on the man's face and 
gently massaged his cheeks and jaws with the cloth. She could feel the tension 
leaving him as she quietly talked to Thor while she prepared the man's face for 
the shaving cream. She put the cloth down and squirted shaving cream into her 
hand. As the soap squirted from the can, the man jumped. They both giggled. She 
daubed on the soap until his whiskers were covered. Then she took the razor and 
carefully shaved him. The man sat stock still as she worked from one side of his 
face to another.
When she was finished, she washed the soap off, then got a mirror and held it up 
in front of him. He looked at his image, then up at her. "I remember my face," 
he said. His voice began to tremble. "I remember my face."
Chapter 5
Susan took the man to the bathroom. She turned on the shower faucets to 
demonstrate their function. Then she left him with her clean shirt and jeans 
while he passed his dirty clothes through the partially opened door - she was 
relieved that he at least knew the importance of modesty - and then threw his 
clothes into the washer and set the wash cycle dial on 'heavy duty.'
While the man showered, Susan sat down and tried to relax. It was difficult with 
a stranger in the house. She turned on the television and tuned in to a late 
afternoon talk show, but her mind wasn't in it. The voices coming from the 
speaker set her on edge. Electronic noise often affected her this way - 
especially now.
When she heard the washer click off, she went to the laundry room. As she 
reached into the washer to pull out the clothes, she felt a presence at her 
back. "I'm finished," he said.
Susan turned around and looked at him. She was startled by his appearance. She 
found herself looking at his face, then at his feet, then back at his face. His 
large, blue eyes were sent into his face like two polished stones. This man was 
ruggedly handsome she realized. "You certainly look a lot better," she said.
"I feel better." He looked at the wet clothes now in her hand. "Would you like 
some help?"
Susan threw the clothes into the dryer, threw an anti static sheet in with them 
and closed the door. "No," she said as she pressed the starter button on the 
dryer. She smiled. "But thank you for asking."
He walked out of the laundry room and sat down in the living room. He began to 
stare at the television as mindless motion and noise spewed from it. Eleanor 
sauntered into the room. "Ohhh," he said. He reached down and picked her up. 
Eleanor folded into the crook of his arm and she began to purr loudly.
"You've definitely got an affinity with animals...uh..."
"Something is wrong?" the man asked.
"I've got to call you something," Susan said. "I don't feel comfortable just 
thinking of you as you. We need to find you a name."
The man looked at her pleadingly. "No. I will eventually remember my name. When 
I do, then you can call me by my real name."
"All right." Susan sat down across from him. She felt uncomfortable just sitting 
with him. She didn't want to tend him as if he was incapable of caring for 
himself. She said, "Would you like to help me feed the horses?"
"Horses. Yes," the man said.
"You don't know what horses are, do you?"
"No."
"Think," Susan said encouragingly. "Try to think. Horses are common animals. 
Somewhere back in your past you knew what horses were."
"Are they pets, too?"
"Yes, they're pets too, although a good rider would take issue with that."
Susan stood up and smiled. Come.
The man got up. "I feel quite ignorant," he said.
"Don't feel that way." Thor took his cue as they headed out the door and he fell 
in step behind them both, his tail wagging contentedly.
Susan loved her "spread," as she called it. Twenty acres was a lot of room for 
one person. But on this space she could run her horses, and the wide open spaces 
was wonderful when she had family gatherings. Her parents had given up begging 
her to move into town. They were all too aware of Susan's nightmares.
Susan opened the barn door. "We'll make sure they have enough hay." She smiled. 
"I'll introduce you to them."
"The odor in here is quite strong, isn't it?" the man said with an innocence 
that Susan loved.
"Yeah, well, these guys wouldn't fit in the bathroom." She glanced sideways at 
him and half smiled at her little joke.
"I understand," the man said, "one would think there would be a way to curb the 
odor."
Susan laughed now. "After awhile you don't even notice it. Look." She pointed at 
the big bay in the stall. "This is Elmo. He's my big guy."
"Hello, Elmo," the man said. He reached out to the horse and stroked its neck. 
"Hello," he said gently. He looked at Susan. "This is a beautiful pet."
"I like him," she said. "And over here," she turned and looked at the strawberry 
roan in the next stall, "is my mare, Lady."
Once again the man displayed an immediate affection and affinity for the animal, 
an affinity that Susan marveled at. "We'll take them out for a ride in a day or 
two. I want them to become comfortable with you first." She knew that was a 
ridiculous thing for her to say. This man and the animals he touched seemed to 
bond instantly. She looked down at Thor who was literally pressed up against the 
man's leg. Still, it was wise to be cautious, she reasoned. It would be 
disastrous if anything happened to the man out here five miles from town. Best 
to wait.
***
They had a pleasant supper. Susan cooked healthy and the man helped her cook. He 
didn't know how, but she enjoyed showing him. It was well into the evening 
before Susan suddenly went into a dead panic. They were coming again tonight. 
She knew they would visit her as sure as she knew this man was sitting in her 
house. What was she going to do now?
The man was engrossed in a television program. The program about wildlife 
fascinated him and his eyes were glued to the screen. She got up quietly from 
her chair and went into the kitchen. Opening the cupboard door, she quietly took 
the bottle of whiskey out and poured herself four fingers. She didn't dare drink 
it all at once. She panicked at what to do. She opened the refrigerator and took 
out a half liter bottle of cola, then poured out some of the cola and replaced 
it with the whiskey. She grabbed another bottle of cola, put the whiskey bottle 
away, and walked back into the living room. "You didn't ask for this, but I'm 
hoping you like it."
The man looked up at her, away from his television program, and smiled 
appreciatively. She handed him the bottle. Then she sat down and began nursing 
her own mix. She had to be careful. If she got drunk in front of him, he might 
take advantage of her. Right now she wished he would.
In a matter of minutes Susan was plastered. The man looked at her oddly. "Are 
you all right, Susan?"
She liked the way he inquired of her well being. She liked the way he called her 
Susan.
"Shurrrrr," she slurred.
The man got up. Alarm was on his face, in his blue eyes. "There is something 
wrong with you."
"I...I...I'mmm okay..."
"You're not! What's wrong with you?" He took the bottle from her and smelled it. 
Then he looked back at her. "It smells different than mine. What is in this 
bottle? There's something in this bottle that's making you act this way. Please 
tell me what it is."
Even in her drunken haze she could tell he was frightened. "Ohhhh, okaaay," she 
slurred. "I'll show you." She got up, staggered, but caught herself. "Come 
ooon," she slurred as she waved him to follow her. She took him into the kitchen 
and opened the cupboard door. "Seeee. Is thish li-uhl bo-uhl ri' 'ere." She 
picked up the bottle and shoved it at him. "Want some?"
The man screwed the cap off the bottle and smelled it. "This is what is in your 
bottle. It's not in my bottle. This is what must be making you sick." He poured 
the entire bottle of whiskey down the drain.
"Hey! Hey, I need that! Are you nuts? I need that!" Susan could see her safe 
haven running down the pipes.
The man went into the living room and came back with Susan's bottle; it was 
still half full. "Now jush a minute! Done shoo throw that down the drain, too!" 
But before she could stop him, he dumped it all.
Susan sat down on the floor. "Ohhh...ohhh..." She held her head in her hands and 
she rocked back and forth.
The man kneeled down to her. "There is something wrong with you, isn't there? 
Why do you ingest substances that can take away your motor control? I don't 
understand."
***
"Stupid human," the being telepathed. "Stupid stupid human."
She was on the table of the night beast. "Are your visits here that frightening? 
Must you dull your senses at the risk of losing your human health?"
"What do you think?" Susan asked coldly.
The being looked down at her. He was trying to mesmerize her with his black eyes 
and insectoid head, but he couldn't do that to her anymore. Her continuous 
abductions had hardened her to his attempts at mind control. She and the beast 
were a lot alike in that way. It was a battle of two stubborn wills every time 
they took her.
The being stepped away from her and telepathed, "It is once again necessary for 
you to visit the nursery."
"No! Oh God, no!" she choked. She knew what was coming and she didn't have the 
stomach for it.
Three smaller beings came to her and pulled her off the table. She had long ago 
given up fighting them. There would just be more to take their place and Susan 
would end up exhausted and further traumatized. She had no idea how many beings 
were here, and she didn't care. She just wanted to go home.
The taller being floated slowly behind them as the three smaller beings led 
Susan out of the room and into another. She put her head down and literally 
planted her feet on the deck of the starship - because it was a starship. She 
knew full well where she was. "I don't want to see them," Susan said through 
clenched teeth. "You can't make me look at them. You can't."
The taller being walked to a drawer, one of many in a long chest of drawers 
along the wall, and he pulled it out. "Nurture it," the being telepathed. "Love 
it. Tell it that you love it." The being slowly turned to her, it's skin light 
gray and translucent. The organs of the beast were like shadows beneath the 
skin. The eyes were teardrop shaped, black, shining, huge. The limbs were thin 
as was the neck, and the torso was slim in proportion to the limbs. The fingers, 
four of them, grasped like a human hand. But these beings didn't move like a 
human. They moved like an insect. Even if she was somehow part of a human's mad 
experiment, no humans could make themselves look like or move like these beings. 
Nor could they telepath at will. When they first began abducting Susan, she knew 
it wasn't a dream or a nightmare. The details she recalled from her "visits" 
were so vivid she knew it wasn't a dream. These were real beings in three 
dimensional space. Why they chose her, she didn't know. She only knew they were 
real.
But although Susan had experienced the beings many times, she knew nothing about 
them. Every time they would take her, they were always in control. She was 
always along just for the ride. And even now, as the taller being ordered her to 
do something, it would be under his watchful eye.
Susan took a deep breath and held it. The taller being reached into the drawer 
and pulled out a baby. Not a human baby. Not a night beast baby. It was a 
hybrid. Half and half. And the night beast wanted her to hold it - to love it.
Susan felt sick. She always felt sick when they wanted her to do this. But she 
had no choice. She glanced across the room and saw the chair - the baby chair as 
she came to think of it. She took the baby from the beast and cuddled it to her. 
She always dreaded coming in here, but when a baby was placed into her arms, she 
didn't want to put it down. She didn't want to put this baby down.
"Sit," the beast ordered and pointed to the chair at the same time. Susan went 
to the chair and sat down in it. She looked down at the baby. It's eyes were 
human in appearance, but at least twice human size. The baby's limbs were frail 
and very pale. It had no baby fat. The baby looked for all the world like a 
human fetus that had stopped developing. It was a fetus that was out of the 
womb, if these beasts even used wombs to incubate, and it would grow up on this 
ship. It would never experience the love of a human mother or father. It would 
be alone for the rest of its life.
At these thoughts, Susan began to softly sing to the baby. The baby lay still in 
her arms, breathing shallow, looking through her with its huge eyes.
Susan didn't know how long she sat with the baby, but she began to worry that 
they wouldn't get her back home before the stranger in her house woke up. At the 
completion of that thought, the taller being came to her, took the baby from 
her, and put it back in the drawer. Susan knew the drawer was really an 
incubator, and the baby was probably as happy there as anywhere, if the baby had 
any sense of happiness at all.
The three smaller beings reappeared and took her back into the room with the 
table in it. The taller being ordered her to lie down. "No," Susan said. "Let me 
go home," she pleaded. "Please let me go home."
The beast held up a long thin tool. "Lie down," it telepathed.
Before she could even get her bearings, the beings had her on the table and they 
had paralyzed her. The beast came at her with the tool.
"No!" Susan screamed in her brain. Her paralysis had taken her speech. The being 
deftly pushed the shaft of the tool up Susan's nose.
"You bastard!" Susan telepathed, choking as the shaft slid up to what seemed to 
be the base of her brain.
The beast withdrew the tool. There was blood along the shaft and a small bead 
the size of a grain of rice on the end of it. Susan knew what he had done and 
what he was going to do next. The beast had just taken an implant out and now he 
was going to put another back in. As swift as lightning he jammed the shaft back 
into her nose and inserted another implant. She could feel the blood running 
from her nose onto her face. "You will live," the being telepathed coldly. "You 
always do."
And now she woke up in her bed screaming. She grabbed for the light and clicked 
it on. They had really gotten her this time. Blood was pouring from her nose and 
onto the T-shirt she slept in and on her bed clothes. She was dimly aware of 
strong arms picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom. Susan screamed 
herself hoarse, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop.
The man turned on the shower faucets full blast and he pulled her into the 
shower. "Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh," Susan screamed as the cold water hit her. Without 
ceremony or asking permission, the man began pulling Susan's shirt off. She 
didn't care if he saw her naked. She didn't care. She had bled on the man. His 
T-shirt was a bright blood red. As she screamed and cried, she tried to pull it 
off him. "I'll help you," he said. Susan was still screaming. "Shhh, shhh," he 
comforted. "You'll be all right. Shhh."
Now Susan was fully aware of the man's presence. She clung to him. "Oh, my God, 
what must you think of me?" Susan sobbed. She knew now what must have happened 
between them. When she sat down on the kitchen floor, aghast he had poured her 
elixir of life down the sink, she had passed out. The man undoubtedly carried 
her to bed. While she slept in her drunken stupor, the beasts had taken her. Was 
the man part of her experience? She didn't know, nor care, because there was 
something about this man that made her feel safe, even under this most 
horrendous of circumstances. He would understand. She knew he would. When the 
time was right, she would tell him.
The two of them clung to each other as the cold water washed away the blood. 
Suddenly the man began to stutter as if he couldn't believe what he was about to 
say. "I...I have a name," he stammered. "I have a name." The water had washed 
most of the blood from them both. They were clean to each other now. She felt 
him strong against her. He felt strong and warm, even under the pouring cold 
water. "My name is Rem."
Chapter 6
He held her very close to him. He was confused by his feelings. He wanted to 
cuddle her and keep her safe, to keep her warm. He turned on the hot water until 
it mixed with the cold, making a warm stream.
"Rem," she mumbled. "I like that name. Rem," she said again. "I'm sorry," she 
whispered, "I behaved so badly tonight. I've embarrassed you. I've embarrassed 
myself. I don't know how I can ever make this right between us."
"Look at me," Rem said.
Susan looked at him. "He tipped her head up and gently touched her nose with the 
tips of his fingers. "I believe the bleeding has stopped. This is a strange drug 
you take. It takes away your motor control and then it makes your nose bleed. 
Why do you do this?" He looked at her with the innocence of a child.
She laid her head on his chest. "I don't know," she said. "I don't know."
Rem slowly stood up, lifting her with him, then shut off the faucets. He 
remembered that Susan had gotten the towels from the linen closet when she first 
showed him the shower that afternoon. He stepped into the hallway and then 
pulled towels from the closet shelves. Then he went back into the bathroom where 
Susan was standing, shivering.
"May I?" he said as he held a towel open to her. "You're cold."
"Yes, please," she said, teeth chattering.
He wrapped two towels around her until she was well covered. Then he wrapped a 
towel around his middle, and he slowly guided her back into her bedroom. When 
they stepped through the doorway, Susan moaned, "Oh, God, look at this mess." 
Blood was everywhere - on the bed, on the carpet, on the wall. The blood on the 
bathroom floor would be an easy clean up, but she dreaded the clean up here in 
the bedroom; it was going to be a terrible job.
"I'll help you," Rem said, sensing her horror. "We can do it in the morning."
"I can't sleep in my bed," Susan said.
"You can sleep in the bed you made for me. You can sleep there, if you like."
Susan followed Rem to the living room - to the hide-a-bed. "I will sleep on the 
floor," Rem said.
"It's cold on the floor. Lay down with me," Susan said softly.
"I don't..."
She put her hand on his chest. "Please," she whispered.
"All right." He wanted to touch her but he didn't want to frighten her. Once 
again he was confused by his feelings.
She pulled back the covers, dropped the towels to the floor, and slipped into 
bed. "Come," she said.
He lay down beside her and she pulled the covers up. "Are you comfortable?" she 
asked.
"Yes," he whispered.
She rolled over to him and put her arm across his chest, and with a low sigh, 
she fell asleep.
***
When Susan awoke the next morning, she looked over at the man who lay next to 
her. He slept quietly as if nothing in the world was troubling him. But Susan 
knew he was deeply troubled. How could he not be? He didn't even know who he 
was, where he came from, who his family was. And Susan didn't even know if this 
man was married. She prayed he wasn't. It felt so right- this man lying in her 
bed.
She sat up and slowly eased herself off the mattress; she didn't want to awaken 
him. He needed rest. He needed to escape from himself for a little while and she 
wanted to give him that.
"What...?" He stirred at her movement.
"I'm sorry," Susan said. She put her hand on his arm to help him realize where 
he was. "I tried to get up without waking you."
Rem rolled over and looked at her. She was naked- the towels still lying on the 
floor. She had forgotten to cover herself. With his finger he quickly wiped the 
sleep from the corners of his eyes. He took a breath. "Oh...the blood. I 
remember now. We have to clean up your bedroom."
He started to get up but Susan gently restrained him. "Please, Rem, no. Lie 
back. Relax. I'm going to put on some clothes and then I'm going to make us 
breakfast."
"Would you like me to start cleaning your bedroom while you make breakfast?"
"Absolutely not!" Susan smiled. "I'm going to serve you breakfast in bed. That 
most people should be so lucky!" She chuckled, then said, "Go back to sleep if 
you want. I'll wake you when it's ready. We'll clean my bedroom after we eat. We 
have the whole weekend."
The look of gratefulness on Rem's face didn't escape Susan's notice. She climbed 
out of bed. "It won't take me long," she whispered as he slowly closed his eyes.
Susan quickly dressed, then went to the kitchen. She looked back into the living 
room to make sure Rem was not looking her way. Then she reached into the 
cupboard and quietly pulled out her one spare bottle of whiskey. She hesitated 
for only a moment, then poured the entire contents down the drain. She ran hot 
water after it to kill the odor, rinsed out the bottle, then quietly put the 
empty bottle into the garbage can. She didn't know if this man would take the 
place of her whiskey, but if he had the good heart she suspected, alcohol no 
longer had a place in her life. It never did, but it took this man with his 
kindness and innocence to show her that. And if he eventually proved not to be 
the beacon of hope she so desperately sought, then she would have to find a 
different way to cope with the beasts. At the very least, this man showed her 
that she could.
***
"Just relax in the saddle," Susan said. "You're doing fine. Think of the horse 
under you as your best friend. Think of you and Elmo as inseparable." This late 
July afternoon was perfect. There was no breeze, and the humidity was noticeably 
less than the day before.
"Yes," Rem said as he patted Elmo's neck. He looked at Susan. She saw enthusiasm 
in his eyes.
"Let's ride into those trees," Rem said. He pointed across the meadow and into a 
stand of timber a half mile square.
"No," Susan said quickly. Susan felt herself beginning to panic.
Rem looked at her oddly. "Did I say something wrong?"
"You didn't say anything wrong. I just don't want to go in there."
"Do the trees belong to you? Are they on your property?"
"They belong to my neighbor," she said, hoping Rem would drop the subject.
"Oh."
"I'm sorry I was so sharp with you. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. I'm 
sorry," Susan said again.
Rem reigned in Elmo and stopped. Susan did the same. Rem looked at her with 
great kindness in his eyes. "Susan, you have to stop treating me as if I'm about 
to break into pieces. I won't. I may not be able to remember much about myself, 
but that doesn't mean you have to treat me so tenderly." He smiled.
Susan looked at this strange man. His hair, although now clean, hung to his 
shoulders. His square jaw jutted; not in defiance, but in determination. His 
skin was pale- too pale. Susan suspected he didn't spend much time outside 
because he had no tan to show it. Yet, he seemed to enjoy riding Elmo. "I like 
to treat you tenderly," she whispered.
"Well...well, I like it when you're nice to me. I never wanted to imply I didn't 
like you to be...to be nice to me," Rem stammered.
Susan maneuvered Lady over to Elmo until she was knee to knee with Rem. "I like 
to treat you tenderly," she said again. Rem sat very still and stiff in his 
saddle. Susan's saddle creaked with new leather as she leaned towards Rem and 
put her arms around him, and Rem yielded to her touch as she kissed him full on 
the mouth. "There," she whispered. "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?"
She touched Rem's chest with the very tips of her fingers. His heart was 
hammering. She sensed he wanted her to kiss him again. She accommodated. Then 
she sat up straight and grinned at him. "You may not remember who you are, but 
you sure remember what to do!"
"Yes...apparently...," Rem said, puzzled at his behavior.
They rode until the summer sun made long shadows along the ground, the legs of 
the horses' shadows looking like monstrous spiders crawling sideways through the 
grass. They rode without speaking until Rem finally said, "Would it be impolite 
for me to ask why you don't want to ride in the trees?" He looked at the timber 
area where Susan had refused to go.
"It wouldn't be impolite."
"But you don't want to talk about it?" Rem asked. Susan didn't think he was 
pressing her. He seemed to be more curious than insistent.
"I'm afraid to go in," she said simply.
"Have you been there before?"
"No!"
"I'm sorry," Rem said. "I should not have brought it up. I won't mention it 
again." He looked away.
"Don't be sorry. I'm over reacting to a reasonable question. It's ridiculous for 
me to be afraid, I know, but I am. And before you ask me why, I can't tell you. 
I don't know why. I'm a grown woman who lives out in the open, yet I'm afraid to 
ride through my neighbor's timber."
"Does your neighbor go in?"
"I don't think so."
"There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"
"Yes," she said. They turned their horses and headed back to the house.
Chapter 7
Susan showed Rem how to hang up the tack and cool down the horses. He asked 
questions, worked conscientiously, and in general appeared to be interested in 
Susan's instruction. When they finished, they walked out of the barn and Susan 
waited while Rem latched the barn door.
Now he walked up to her and stood, staring at the house. "You have a beautiful 
home."
"Thank you. I like it very much."
"Have you lived here a long time?"
"A long time. A very long time."
Rem said nothing and there was silence between them. Finally Susan said, "I 
guess I owe you a bit of an explanation, Rem. I've lived here for a very long 
time because I was born in that house. I have a sister, Carol, and both of my 
parents are still living."
"Hmm...is this what houses look like?"
"No. This isn't a typical house. It's what's called a log cabin. My father built 
it in nineteen sixty-four." Susan smiled, then lightly took his sleeve. "Come 
on. You can help me rustle us up some grub.
***
Susan once again asked Rem to sleep with her. She knew he wanted to, but also 
knew he was too polite to do so unless she asked. She wanted him very much, but 
didn't press him. He would come to her in his own time, she was sure. Just lying 
next to him and hearing him breathe would have to be enough for now.
In the middle of the night she awoke to creaking bed springs. She reached for 
him and realized he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?" she 
asked.
Rem sighed tiredly. "I can't do this to you, Susan."
Susan propped herself on one elbow and put her hand on his back. "What are you 
doing to me? I don't understand."
"I can't ask you to feed me, to give me your clothes, to give me a place to stay 
and a bed to sleep in. It's not fair to you."
"Rem..."
Rem turned and faced her in the dark. "Don't you see, Susan? I don't even know 
who I am."
"We know your name, now," Susan said encouragingly.
"We know my first name. We don't know my last name and we don't even know if I 
have a last name."
"Rem, I don't care if you have a last name. I like you, and I want you to stay 
with me."
"Susan," Rem said patiently, "I have no job skills. I can't earn a living. Nor 
can I live off the money the college pays you. I have more pride than that. I 
won't live here and not contribute to the welfare of us both. And already I've 
mis-spoken because I don't even know if you were thinking of asking me to stay."
"You haven't mis-spoken, Rem. You know I want you to stay. We can work the other 
problems out as time goes by. Give yourself a chance. Give both of us a chance. 
Please don't think about leaving until you at least find out who you are. Do you 
think you might be married? Is this why you don't want to stay with me?"
"No, that's not it. I don't think I'm married, as you say, to another."
Susan suddenly felt blessed relief. "What makes you so sure?"
"I don't really know. I don't even know what marriage means, really. What does 
it mean?"
Now Susan sat up and put her feet on the floor, sitting next to him, putting her 
arm around him. "Well, when two people are married they are best friends and 
intimate lovers."
"Is this why I have tender feelings towards you?"
"I suspect so...I hope so..."
She felt him touch her face, brush her hair back. "Let me...let me sleep on 
this. I need time," he whispered.
"All right," she said. "You can have all the time you need." Her stomach 
suddenly cramped. When she laid down, she was terrified he would leave her.
-
She awoke. It was still dark, and a clear view of the clock told her two things: 
the time was 2:00 a.m.; the clear view meant that Rem was no longer in bed 
because if he were, she would have to prop herself up to see the clock. Worse - 
she had that telltale feeling of nausea that confirmed they were coming again. 
Now she jumped at the sound of the horses whinnying in the barn. Thor began 
barking. "Quiet, Thor," she said. "It's all right. Quiet." Something was very 
wrong. "Rem?" she called into the dark. "Rem?" she called again. She was 
frightened now - intensely frightened. The ever increasing frantic whinnying of 
the horses told her that something was spooking them. "Rem?!" she screamed. 
"Rem, for God's sake, where are you?!"
She switched on the bedroom light and quickly pulled on her robe. The summer 
night air would be chilly. She had a flashlight stashed under the kitchen sink. 
She grabbed it and turned it on. Thor whined and barked, whined and barked. 
"Thor, you'll just complicate things." She quickly shut the door between her and 
Thor and headed towards the barn.
By the time she reached the barn, the horses were setting up an anguished howl. 
They were kicking their stalls, snorting, and braying almost like mules. 
Whatever was frightening them, Susan had to calm them before they kicked their 
stalls to pieces. She took a deep breath to gather her courage, then yanked open 
the door.
Once inside, she groped for the light switch and clicked it on. "Hey," she said 
calmly. "Whoa, Elmo. Whoa, Lady. It's me. It's all right now. It's me," she said 
soothingly. She shone her flashlight into Elmo's eyes, hoping to calm him with 
it. Then she saw Rem. He was lying in a corner of Elmo's stall, covered with 
blood and manure, and Susan didn't know if he was alive or dead.
Chapter 8
"Oh, my God!" she shouted. "Rem! Hang on! I'll get you out! Please, hang on!" 
She worked her way around the stall, talking to Elmo, trying to quiet the horse. 
Elmo's hooves slammed against the boards of the stall, his hooves coming close 
to crushing Rem's skull more than once.
She climbed through the boards, now, and she was inside the stall, hugging the 
perimeter, slowly making her way to Rem who was lying like a lifeless rag doll 
on the ground. When she reached him, she pulled on him, trying to rouse him. 
"Rem, you've got to help me get you out of here. Please help me if you hear me," 
she pleaded, but the whinnying and stomping of Elmo was drowning her words.
Rem didn't move. Susan was frantic, but knew that if she didn't stay calm, she 
wouldn't be able to get Rem out and away from Elmo's deadly hooves. Eventually 
Elmo would connect and Susan was not about to allow that to happen. With both 
hands she grabbed Rem under the arms and began dragging him to the nearest 
opening in the stall boards. The racket in the stall was terrific, and Elmo's 
big body was reacting to the movement under his feet. This wasn't going to work. 
She would never get Rem out before Elmo killed them both.
Suddenly, with a desperate act of resolve, Susan stood up and grabbed Elmo's 
mane. If she was going to die by her own horse, she at least was going to go 
down fighting. "Elmo," she said, "it's me. Quiet, boy. It's me, Susan."
Elmo quieted long enough for Susan to slip onto his back. She clung to the 
horse's neck as he began bucking again. "That's okay, boy. That's all right," 
she said soothingly, and slowly she brought the horse under control. And as Elmo 
quieted, so did Lady, and as Lady quieted, Elmo stopped kicking.
Susan was so exhausted, she felt like a dishrag as she lay on Elmo's back. When 
she was sure Elmo was calm, she slid off him and went to Rem. "Rem, can you hear 
me?" She was suddenly heartened by a low moan. With renewed strength, she 
dragged him out of the stall. But she still had to get him back to the house. 
She didn't dare call anyone for help. How would she explain this? How would she 
ever begin to explain this?
And then she had an idea. She ran to the other end of the barn where she had the 
riding lawnmower housed. She connected the small utility trailer behind it. The 
trailer was low to the ground and with some luck, she reasoned, she might be 
able to pull Rem into it. She started the mower and pulled it around. She hoped 
the noise of the engine would rouse Rem, but it didn't. With all the strength 
she had in her, Susan lifted Rem into the utility trailer and drove him the 
three-hundred and some odd feet back to the house. But they weren't home free 
yet. He was still unconscious and somehow she would have to rouse him.
She parked the mower in front of the house and shut off the engine. The night 
came into her like a raging flood. The sound of her own heart slamming in her 
chest mingled with the deafening chorus of crickets and frogs. And Rem, curled 
up in a filthy utility trailer, covered with mud and blood and horse manure, lay 
still as stone. "Rem?" She shook him, slapped his face, his chest. "Rem, please, 
it's Susan. You have to help me. I can't get you out of the trailer and into the 
house by myself. I'm not strong enough. Please wake up. Please."
"Uhhh..." He began to stir and Susan never felt so relieved in her life. Her 
Lazarus - her dear Lazarus - was rising.
"It's all right, Rem. I'm here. It's Susan. I'm here to help you." She tried to 
pull him to a sitting position but failed. Suddenly one of Rem's arms flayed 
sideways and gripped the side rail of the shallow trailer. Then the other arm 
found leverage on the other rail and he hauled himself to a sitting position. 
"Where am I?" he asked, eyes wild.
Susan put her arm behind his back to support him. "You're here with me." She 
kissed his filthy, bloody face. "You're here with me."
***
He was clean again. He lay naked on Susan's bed. She was sitting next to him, 
daubing alcohol on the scrapes and abrasions that seemed to be all over his 
body. "Ahh," he groaned.
"I know it hurts, but we can't risk infection, Rem. I'll put an antibiotic salve 
on them when I'm sure they're clean."
"Perhaps you should have the medical caretaker, Brian, come and help you."
"No. We can handle this ourselves. You'll be okay. I'll take good care of you."
At her touch on his shoulders he eased off his stomach and slowly rolled onto 
his back, grimacing as he did so. His hand went up to her mouth and he lightly 
touched it. "Rem, if anything would have happened to you I really don't know 
what I would have done."
He slowly pulled her to him and when her face hovered over his, he kissed her. 
"I hurt, but I want you," he whispered. "Will you guide me?"
Susan knelt down over him and touched his chest with her breasts. She could feel 
him reacting to her. With compassion she took him into her.
***
"Do you walk in your sleep?"
"I don't know."
"Can you remember ever walking in your sleep?"
"I don't know what walking in my sleep might feel like." He looked at her as if 
she were discussing quantum mechanics with an idiot.
"You went to sleep and then woke up in the stall? Is this what happened?"
"I did not wake up in the stall. I was unconscious in the stall. I don't know 
how I got there. I must have been unconscious when I was put there."
Susan's eyebrow suddenly arched up. "Someone put you in the stall?"
"I don't know. I don't remember anything."
Susan let out her breath in frustration and puzzlement. "How far back do you 
remember? How many weeks, months back do you remember?"
"I don't know...I don't know...Rem looked at the floor, his eyes slowly slipping 
out of focus as if he were far away. "I remember...when I first saw you."
"What do you remember before you first saw me?"
Rem looked up now. There was wonderment in his eyes as his gaze fell on Susan's 
face. "I remember nothing before I met you. I only remember you. My life began 
with you. There was never a time in my very short life before I met you."
"Oh, Rem, if it wouldn't be so tragic, it would be downright poetic." Susan put 
her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. "What are we going to 
do?"
"I don't know," he said.
She sat up quickly. "Tell me truly," she asked, "can you imagine life without 
me?"
"No, I can't. I cannot imagine my life without you."
"Then I don't have to beg you to stay with me? You'll stay?"
"Yes. I wouldn't know how to continue without you."
"Then let's begin our relationship by going into town and getting you some 
decent clothes. And let's come up with a last name for you so when I introduce 
you to people, I can give them a full name."
"I don't know my last name," he sighed. "You know I don't know my last name."
"Pick a name," Susan said.
"I don't know many names. I don't know any names." He looked desperate.
Susan thought a moment, then said, "Livingston. Your last name shall be 
Livingston."
"Livingston," Rem said slowly. "It seems acceptable. Livingston," he said again.
"All right, Livingston it is. It's just a temporary name until we can somehow 
figure out who you are."
***
They had a wonderful time shopping together. Rem mentioned several times that he 
felt guilty for not having money to buy clothes for himself, but as the 
afternoon wore on, he seemed to forget about his dilemma as he tried on clothes 
for Susan. She would look him over. Then together they would decide whether to 
buy the particular article he was modeling for her. It was fun. And she knew he 
was falling head over heels in love with her.
They ate supper in the mall. They watched shoppers and fed each other garlic 
chicken on plastic forks and Rem was learning to laugh at Susan's silly jokes. 
It seemed to Susan as if Rem was making a real attempt to come out and join the 
world.
When they went back home, Susan said, "I would like to go riding before the sun 
sets. Does that sound like fun?"
"It does," Rem said. "Let's go." He started for the door.
"Wait," Susan said. "I have to change into my riding clothes." She noticed that 
Rem was taking quite nicely to his new designer jeans and denim shirt as he 
stood like a cherubic cowboy in front of her.
"Riding clothes? I don't understand? You look fine, Susan. Riding clothes?" he 
asked again, puzzled.
"Si'down, cowboy," she said playfully. "I'll be right back."
Susan went into her bedroom and then to her closet. She had bought an outfit - a 
wild outfit - over a year ago and never had the guts to wear it. It was a black 
leather pants and leather shirt she was saving for the man she would one day 
fall in love with. It was an impractical purchase, and she knew it when she 
bought it, because no force on earth could ever induce her to wear it out on the 
street. This outfit wasn't fit for public consumption. It was meant to be shared 
by lovers, and she was about to do just that.
She quickly shinnied out of her clothes. Then she pulled on the black leather 
pants. She loved the way they felt on her. Susan had worn the outfit several 
times before, but only around the house when she was alone. She liked the way 
the leather felt on her when she moved in it. She liked to fantasize about her 
perfect man when she was wearing it. She would look in the mirror and comment on 
how drop dead gorgeous she was in this outfit. Then she would take it off and 
put it away again. It wasn't yet time to really wear it - her perfect man had 
not yet arrived. Now her perfect man was waiting to see her, and he was in the 
next room. He barely knew his own name and he knew nothing about himself, but 
that didn't matter to her. What mattered was the man himself. He was her perfect 
man, and even if they should find that he had a less than perfect past, it 
wouldn't matter what that past might be. He would remain perfect in Susan's 
eyes, and she would do everything in her power to make sure Rem remained perfect 
in his own eyes.
She had a pair of black suede riding boots that she now pulled on. She had to 
struggle with them fiercely because she hadn't worn them for awhile. The boots 
were reserved for when she would ride her horse in the Fourth of July parade 
every year. The rest of the time they sat in the closet, and the stretch Susan 
had put into them when she wore them in the parade just two short weeks ago, had 
disappeared. So now the boots fit her tightly, and it required considerable 
effort to pull them onto her feet. But the boots fit her like gloves, and she 
was pleased with the way the pants flared nicely over them when she zipped the 
pants leg zippers down.
Next, she pulled on the shirt. It was a slip-over affair and it fit her snugly, 
but not too snugly. When she pulled the zipper up the front, her breasts had a 
dynamite profile. Susan's heart began to pound. She didn't know how long she 
could ride in this outfit without giving in to her desires. She flipped her long 
black hair from side to side until it settled over the collar of her shirt.
Jewelry - silver, or gold? She fumbled through her necklaces until she settled 
on a plain, flat silver band about three quarters of an inch wide. She put it 
around her neck and the cool metal collar fit perfectly. Almost finished, now. 
Susan pulled open several drawers until she finally found her black leather 
gloves. She knew they would be perfect with this outfit. She pulled the gloves 
on, then wiggled all her fingers until they felt snug in the leather. The gloves 
were skin tight, ideal riding gloves because the tight fit allowed her to still 
feel the bridle in her gloved hand. Control of the horse was essential. And so 
was control of her lover. She chuckled softly to herself. This poor boy would 
not stand a chance.
She took a final look at herself in the full-length mirror on her closet door. 
She raised her arms and twisted her torso. She looked back at her butt and 
marveled once again at her incredible profile. Oh, my God, girl, you are a good 
looking woman, she thought to herself.
"Are you almost ready?" Rem called politely.
"I'm comin' cowboy. Prepare yourself."
Chapter 9
"Ohh," Rem said. It wasn't a deliberately made comment; it was a reaction. 
"You're beautiful," he croaked. "You're just beautiful." He looked at her with 
new eyes. He touched her, fingered the flat, silver collar on her neck, then 
slowly slid his hands down her sleeves. "You look very attractive in this. Is 
this a riding outfit?" He was breathing heavily, now.
"Like it?" she said innocently. She was enjoying this.
"Ohh," he said again. He embraced her. He breathed against her leather shirt.
"Let's ride," she said.
As he let her go, she could see his hands shaking in anticipation. "I'm mean to 
you," she said.
"No," he whispered. "You are not mean to me. You are showing me how desirable 
you are. You are a beautiful beautiful woman, Susan. I have never felt this way 
before."
"Rem." She laid her gloved hand against the side of his face and he closed his 
eyes in ecstasy. "Rem, I'm the only woman you can remember in your life." She 
panicked inwardly now. What if this man was already committed to someone? Or 
married?
He opened his eyes and looked squarely into hers. As if he read her thoughts he 
said, "If there is another woman in my life, I can't imagine how she could be as 
beautiful as you."
"Cowboy, you ain't no slouch in the looks department yourself." She grinned at 
her cherubic cowboy who was standing in front of her with his mouth open.
Rem clasped Susan's hand and took it away from his face. "I don't understand 
what you mean by that, Susan. What do you mean by the phrase, 'no slouch in the 
looks department'?"
"I mean," she said as she put her arms around him, "you are a very good looking 
man."
"Beautiful like you?" He stood away from her and looked first at her boots, then 
moved his gaze up her body to her grinning face.
"Beautiful like me." She paused. One part of her wanted to take him right here 
on the kitchen floor, but the other part of her wanted to enjoy him before they 
made love. She wanted to ride with her perfect man in her drop dead sexy outfit 
before they made love. She had waited a long time for him to come to her, and 
enjoying his arrival seemed like the right thing to do.
***
They didn't ride long. Both were too on fire with desire for each other. They 
rode across the property one time, then rode back and took the horses into the 
barn. The sun had set, and although they had turned on the light so they could 
see to cool down the horses, Susan had brought a battery lantern along with her.
"Finished." Susan draped the horse blankets across the stall railing. Then she 
turned to her man who was having a very hard time keeping his hands off her. She 
pointed to the pile of hay near Elmo's stall. Then she switched on the lantern 
and turned off the bare light bulb hanging from the rafters. She came to Rem and 
he took the horse blanket from the stall and laid it on the pile of hay. Then he 
took Susan in his arms and kissed her. She melted in his embrace. "Oh, Rem," she 
whispered.
In the soft light of the lantern, they lay down together. Susan had intended to 
guide Rem through the steps of gentle love making, but Rem was way ahead of her. 
He spoke to her, touched her, and aroused her in a way so gentle and so artful, 
she didn't think it was possible to ever be this loved. And when he finally came 
into her, it was at exactly the right time. "Ahhh," she moaned. She thrashed 
joyfully as he came into her again and again. How could anything be this 
beautiful? This beautiful man had come to her and rescued her. And she didn't 
even know who he was.
***
She awoke with a start. A car was coming up the driveway! Susan had no idea who 
it might be. Carol was visiting her mother-in-law this weekend. Her parents were 
out of town on a shopping trip. Beyond her immediate family, Susan didn't have 
many visitors out here.
She looked at Rem who was still sleeping. He had hogged most of the blanket, and 
although he was covered, she was not. And she wasn't about to wake him. She 
yanked on her pants, struggling with its clinging leather nature. Then she 
quickly pulled her shirt over her head. Leather was not easy to get in and out 
of, she decided. Next time she would wear this outfit, it would be in the house 
with the doors locked.
Rem was still asleep as the barn door creaked open.
Chapter 10
"Brian!" Susan whispered sharply. "What are you doing here?"
Brian looked at Rem sleeping next to Susan, then looked back at her. "Nice 
outfit," he whispered. "You never wore that for me."
"What are you doing here, Brian?" Susan whispered angrily.
"I thought I'd stop by to see if you were all right. Obviously you are."
"I told you it was over between us, Brian. You have no right to come out here. 
I'm entitled to my privacy. I'm amazed you would think so little of me that you 
would just come busting in here like this. How did you know I was in the barn?" 
Susan was so angry she could hardly think.
"Easy. Your garage door is open and I saw your car. So I knew you were home. I 
didn't have to knock too many times on the door to realize you weren't in the 
house. Next question."
"The next question is how long do you plan on standing there, making my life 
miserable?"
"You love him, don't you?"
Susan looked at this man she thought she knew once. "How did you know?" she 
whispered softly.
"The look in your eyes. I never saw you look that way at me. I longed for you to 
look that way at me. But you never did."
As Brian walked from the barn, Susan felt a warm hand gently grip her own. She 
lay back against the blanket and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Rem," she said.
When the sound of Brian's car faded into the distance, Rem got up, lifted Susan 
into his arms, and carried her the three-hundred and some odd feet into the 
house.
***
She wanted to take Rem with her to work today, but Rem wanted to stay on the 
acreage. Susan pleaded with him for a time, but then realized that if she would 
be in his situation, she would want time to herself, too. Maybe, she reasoned, 
Rem could get more in touch with his memories, now that he felt safe with Susan. 
She could only hope.
Brian picked at Susan a good deal of the day. He had questions and Susan wasn't 
willing to give him any answers. He had hurt her feelings more than once with 
his thoughtless comments about her new boyfriend who couldn't even remember his 
name.
At the end of the day, Susan gathered a stack of homework papers she had to 
grade that evening and stuffed them into her briefcase. She really didn't want 
to correct them tonight; she would rather play with Rem. But there was little 
choice in the matter. She couldn't very well make her students pay for the 
distractions brought on by her new love life.
When she came home and put her hand on the doorknob, she sensed something was 
very wrong inside. She hurriedly stepped through the door. "Rem?" she called. 
"Rem, are you all right?"
He didn't answer. Panic flared through her. "Rem?" she called again as she began 
to half run through the house. She searched every room, and as each room proved 
to be empty, she became more and more panicky. "Rem! Oh, God, where are you?"
Now she heard a low moan! Where was it coming from? She heard it again and now 
realized it was coming from below the floor. The moan was coming from the 
basement! She hadn't shown Rem the basement. Nothing would keep him from 
exploring it, but the fact that he could be down there alarmed her. She ran down 
the basement stairs.
And then she saw him. He was lying in a corner next to the furnace. "Rem!" She 
ran to his side and got down on the floor with him. "Rem, are you all right?" 
Her heart was beating wildly, like a thousand horses were in her chest, all 
running at once.
He sat with his hands in his lap and he looked straight ahead, as if he was 
looking through her. "Talk to me, Rem," Susan said. She didn't know what to do. 
He didn't look like he was in danger. He was breathing normally and he didn't 
seem to be in shock. But he wasn't responding to her, either.
She stood up, then grabbed him under the arms and tried to lift him up, but 
couldn't. She sat back down on the floor and began to lightly slap his face in 
an attempt to rouse him. His eyes were still uncomprehending. "Forgive me, 
Sweetheart," she mumbled as she soundly slapped the side of his face with her 
open hand.
He flinched, then grabbed her arm. He was breathing heavily now. The slap had 
served its purpose.
She brushed back his hair with her fingers. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I didn't 
want to hurt you."
Rem looked at her, then looked around him. "How did I get here?" He asked. 
"Where am I?"
"You're in the basement of my house."
"How did I get here?" Rem asked wonderingly. He touched the side of his face 
where Susan had slapped him.
"I'm so sorry," Susan said again.
"That's all right." He turned his head slowly, taking in his new surroundings. 
"I like it here. I like it down here."
"Do you remember coming here?" Susan asked.
"No...no, I don't remember. But I feel safe here. I like it here."
"Then we'll just sit down here for awhile. Would you like that?"
"Yes," he said, dazed.
They quietly sat together on the floor. Susan said nothing. She was so unsettled 
by Rem's behavior, she didn't want to admit to herself that she was afraid of 
him on some level.
Now she felt his hand grip hers. "I won't hurt you, Susan," he said. "I could 
never hurt you."
"You're acting strange, Rem. You're scaring me. I don't know what to do."
Rem sighed heavily. "The world is up there. I can't live down here anymore. The 
world is waiting for me and I have to make my way in it." He looked at Susan 
with love in his eyes. "As I try to make my way, will you go with me?"
"Yes," Susan said. "I want to go with you."
He sagged against the wall with relief. "Then I can face it. If you are with me, 
I can face it."
They sat a while longer. Then Susan ventured a question. "What did you do today 
while I was at work?"
"I looked at some of your books."
"Which books?"
"The mathematics books. I looked at them and solved some of the problems."
Hope leaped in Susan. "Rem, you're beginning to recall skills you only could 
have learned before you met me! This is encouraging. Very encouraging."
"I hope so."
"Did you write the problems on paper? Did you actually work them out so we can 
see how much you know?"
"Yes. I left them on the kitchen table."
She stood up and pulled on his arm. "Come on, then. Let's go look at what you've 
done!"
He stood up, then said, "I did...I did something else today. I don't know if I 
should have. I couldn't resist."
"What did you do? Anything you do is fine with me. You know that."
He looked at her as if he had just stolen cookies from the cookie jar. "I rode 
Elmo," he said simply.
"And...?"
"I thought you would be upset if I rode him without your guidance."
"Rem, you're a man. You can make choices to do whatever you want as long as you 
don't hurt someone else in the process. Surely you wouldn't think I would be 
upset with you riding Elmo. Surely not." She could not believe Rem was this 
fearful of her.
"I rode him and..."
"And?" she coaxed.
"And that's all I remember. I rode him...and then something happened...and then 
I rode Elmo back to the barn." Rem's eyes widened for an instant as if he had 
just remembered something important.
"Think, Sweetheart. What happened when you were riding Elmo?"
"I don't know. I thought I remembered, but now I don't remember. I want to go 
out and see if Elmo is all right."
"Okay, we can do that."
Together, they went out to the barn. Rem opened the stall and went to Elmo. Elmo 
gently nuzzled Rem and Rem talked to him soothingly. Susan was perplexed at how 
quickly both had become comfortable with each other. "I think Elmo has adopted 
you, Sweetheart."
Rem glanced at Susan, smiled, then looked back at the big bay. "We're friends," 
Rem said, as he patted Elmo's neck.
"I can see that. Are you satisfied, now that you know nothing is wrong with 
Elmo?"
"I'm satisfied."
When they went back into the house, Susan began to examine the problems Rem had 
worked. The table was covered with papers that Rem had scrawled on. Susan picked 
up a paper and examined the work he had there. "This is outstanding, Rem. 
Absolutely outstanding," she breathed in awe. "I'm amazed at your competence." 
She looked up at him, then back to his work. "Amazed, I am," she said again.
"Mathematics is simple. I began to read the explanations in the books, but then 
I became bored with them. I could see the logic just by looking at the worked 
out examples."
"Well, I suspect you were bored with the explanations because you had learned 
this all before." She paused, then said, "Let's try something. I see that you 
have worked problems well into the trigonometry book. Suppose you try these." 
From the pile of mathematics texts Rem had hauled to the table, Susan found her 
old differential equations textbook. She opened it up to the middle of the text 
and said, "Does this look familiar?"
Rem sat down and picked up his pencil. "Perhaps," he said.
"While you're working, I'm going to make us dinner."
"All right." With Thor lying next to his chair and Eleanor lying on top of the 
table, purring him on, he bent his head in concentration and his pencil began to 
fly.
Chapter 11
Susan didn't carry on excessively about it. She didn't want to make Rem feel as 
if he were a little boy who was being profusely complimented by his mother. 
After dinner she sat down at the table with him and she set about correcting the 
papers of her students. Occasionally Rem would ask her a question and Susan 
would answer it: "Look." She pointed at the problem. "You dropped the negative 
sign so..."
"So," Rem interrupted, "the negative sign makes the discriminate negative which 
means the equation has two complex solutions rather than two real solutions. 
That means the parabola won't cross the X axis. So that means the first 
derivative...okay, I've got it." He would slap himself on the forehead, feigning 
stupidity, grin, and once again bend to the task of solving the problem.
They worked that way well into the evening - Rem working quietly, Susan 
occasionally laying down her red pen and picking up Rem's so she could show him 
where he had gone wrong. Finally, Susan had had enough. She stood up and 
stretched and yawned. "Put your pencil down, cowboy. I want you to rock me to 
sleep."
Rem looked up from the table and grinned warmly. "I suppose I could finish these 
tomorrow."
Susan took Rem by his sleeve, turned out the kitchen light, and led Rem to bed. 
She lit a scented candle and they undressed in the glow of candlelight. "I feel 
safe here," Rem said.
"I hope that's true," Susan said.
"It's true. There is something very soothing and comforting about the light. I 
could live here, in this room, and never leave it."
"You wouldn't want to live like that, Sweetheart," Susan said.
Rem sighed and laid himself back on the sheets. He pulled Susan to him and she 
laid on his chest. "Mmmm, it's so comfortable here," she said.
"That's what I just said. You said I wouldn't want to live like that."
"I'm not referring to the candlelight. I'm referring to lying on top of you. I 
love it here. I could stay here forever." She sat up next to him. "Let me look 
at your back."
Rem obediently rolled on his stomach. Susan pulled the dressing off some of 
Rem's wounds.
"Ow!"
"Sorry, Sweetheart. I just wanted to see how some of these nastier ones were 
healing. They look good, but the candlelight doesn't give me enough light to be 
sure. I'll turn on the light."
"No!" He grabbed her arm as she reached for the lamp.
"It will only take a minute, Rem," she said, shocked at his reaction.
"Just...just leave the light off. My wounds will heal. I'll be all right. Just 
let them be for now."
"Okay, Rem. Whatever you say."
Rem rolled over and took Susan's wrists. "I'm sorry," he whispered. I can't 
explain to you how this candlelight makes me feel. I feel safe and warm and 
loved. I don't want to ever leave it."
Susan looked into his eyes now - fully into them. "But you have to, Rem. 
Whatever is in your mind has to come out. You can't live the rest of your life 
without knowing what came before the rest of it."
"I know." He idly played with her hair as he gazed off into the darkness. "I 
know..."
Susan was awakened in the night by Rem. He was thrashing in the bed. "But I 
can't leave here," he moaned in his sleep. "I can't leave here because I love 
you all so much. Please don't make me leave. I will die out there. This is the 
only life I know. Please please let me stay. I love you Mother. Please don't 
make me go away. Mother, please don't make me go away."
Susan was chilled to the bone at his words - at the way he said the words. It 
was as if there was someone in the room who Rem was talking directly to - some 
unseen spirit hovering in the corner of the bedroom. "Rem...? Rem, Honey, wake 
up."
Rem turned to her. She couldn't see his face, but she imagined his eyes to be 
frantic - wild. "Rem, wake up." She shook his shoulders. "Wake...up..."
"What? Where am I? Mother, please don't send me away."
"You're dreaming, Rem. You're dreaming. I'm going to turn on the light. Are you 
awake? Can I turn on the light?"
There was silence in the room - silence Susan could feel through the pores of 
her skin. Then..."Turn it on," he said quietly.
Susan clicked on the bed lamp. "No! Light the candle. Light the candle." Rem 
covered his eyes"
"All right, all right," Susan said hastily as she fumbled with the candle. When 
it caught, she turned off the bed lamp.
"What's that?" Rem said, panic in his voice.
"I don't know what you mean?" Susan said. "What's what?"
"That sound. Listen..." They laid quietly in the bed.
"You mean that sound? Is that what you mean? I can shut the window if it bothers 
you." She started to get up to shut the window but Rem caught her shoulder.
"No. Don't shut the window. Just tell me what the sound is."
"It's a cow, Rem."
"A cow. A cow." Susan could feel Rem shaking with frustration.
"It's an animal..." Susan sighed. "Oh, Rem, we have to do something for you. 
There is a big dairy farm just behind the trees. You can't see it from here, but 
the cows often bellow in the middle of the night."
Rem sat up on the edge of the bed. Susan sat next to him and began rubbing his 
back in an effort to comfort him. "Susan," he said finally, "I'm just trouble to 
you. You can't live your life with a madman in the house. You can't."
"Rem..."
"I think I should leave."
"No," Susan said. "We will get through this. Somehow this will work out for us."
Rem put his arm around her and they sat quietly until dawn.
***
The next morning during breakfast Susan made Rem promise to at least give it a 
try for several months. If he felt uncomfortable after giving it at least a 
chance to work between them, he could leave. He agreed.
During the next three weeks they grew even closer together. Susan had introduced 
Rem to her family. Susan's family loved Rem. Even Carol was smitten by his 
charm.
Rem insisted on taking on the brunt of household chores. If he was going to live 
with Susan, he explained to her, he was going to make an equal contribution to 
their well being. In a matter of days he became a handy man, a pretty good cook, 
and a gentleman farmer. He had also decided he was going to take college courses 
during the upcoming fall semester.
But Susan hated it when she was at work and he was home puttering. She wanted 
him with her. So on this particular morning Rem had agreed to ride to work with 
her. Susan had arranged for Rem to take tests that would allow him to test out 
of courses.
At noon they were sitting in the cafeteria, eating lunch and quietly chatting. 
"So, how did the tests go this morning, Sweetheart?"
"Just fine. I'm confident I did well."
"When do you think you'll be finished with your last test this afternoon?"
"I should be finished by three or three-thirty."
"Okay. I'll meet you in my office at around three-thirty. Then we can go home."
Rem grinned. "That would be nice."
Susan wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Woo," she said as she pushed herself away 
from the table. "If I continue to eat like this, I won't be able to get into my 
leather pants. That wouldn't be so good, would it?"
Rem smiled. "No, that would be quite horrible."
Susan stood up and fished in her purse. She pulled out her keys. "Now you can 
get into the office."
Rem took the keys from her and stuffed them into his pocket. Then he gave her a 
quick public kiss and headed off to his next test.
***
Susan opened her office door and saw Rem sitting at her desk. "I'm back. How did 
the tests go this afternoon?"
Rem didn't answer. He sat in Susan's office chair, looking straight ahead. She 
went to him and a chill went through her. He looked just as he looked when she 
found him in the corner of her basement.
"Rem...? Rem, can you hear me?"
"Uhhh."
"Rem, listen to me. It's Susan. I'm here, Rem. Try to concentrate on my voice."
"Uhhh."
Rem, you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, don't you? You know this, 
don't you?" She took his face between her hands.
Rem suddenly lurched up in his chair. "What?"
"Are you with me, now?" Susan asked.
Rem looked around him, stunned. "I...uhh...I..." He blinked several times.
Susan got down on her knees and looked Rem directly in the eye. "Tell me what 
you did after you took the last test. Where did you go? Who did you talk to?" 
She wanted him to engage his mind. She also wanted to know what triggered this 
latest episode.
"I...don't remember."
Susan was suddenly suspicious. "Have you been talking to Brian?" she asked 
angrily. "Have you been talking to him?"
"Yes." Rem's eyes popped into focus and she knew Rem was coming back to her.
"What did he say to you? I'm going to wring his neck. What did he say to you? 
Tell me, Sweetheart. What...did...he...say...?" Susan asked in measured tone.
"I don't remember. I don't remember what he said."
Susan looked into Rem's eyes now. "Are you all right if I leave you for just a 
moment? I'll be right back."
Rem put his head into his hands and leaned his elbows on the desk. "Take your 
time," he said tiredly. "I'll be all right. Take your time."
Susan hurried from her office and went to Brian's office. When she stormed in, 
Brian met her at the door. "Shhh," there's a sick student lying down in one of 
the rooms. Don't yell. Come into my office."
Susan followed Brian into his office and she closed the door behind her. "You 
bastard!" she whispered. "You bastard! What in the hell is wrong with you? Rem 
is just starting to put his life together and then you come along and upset him 
to the point of near paralysis!" Enraged, she raised her hand to slap him, but 
someone from behind gripped her wrist. "No, Susan. This isn't the way to solve 
it."
She turned around and tried to wrestle her arm from Rem's grasp.
"No, Susan. Let it go. Just let it go." He released her arm and she dropped her 
arms to her side.
"Brian, stay out of our lives," Susan spit in a harsh whisper. "Leave us alone."
"You don't understand," Brian sputtered.
"Oh, I do understand, you jealous pig. I understand that you can't bear to see 
either of us happy." She took Rem's arm, and when they reached the door, Susan 
turned and said, "Rem and I love each other very much, and there is nothing you 
can do or say that will change it."
***
When they were in the car and heading home, Susan said, "Try to remember what 
Brian said to you."
"I don't remember what he said to me. I finished my last test and then was 
heading to your office. I saw Brian on the way. We began talking."
"Recall the conversation, if you can."
"Brian asked how you and I were doing. He asked if I had regained any of my 
memory. Then..."
"Then?" Susan looked at him as she drove. "Then?"
"Then...I don't remember. I just don't remember anything that was said after 
that. I only remember being in your office." He sighed and put his hand on 
Susan's neck. He began to massage it and Susan loved the constant care Rem 
showed her. "You were very concerned about me," Rem said.
"We have to find a way to get at your memory, Rem."
"I know." He settled back against the seat as Susan drove them the rest of the 
way home. "I know."
***
It came on her when they were eating dinner. In a mind numbing instant she knew 
they were coming. "What's wrong?" Rem asked, alarmed at the sudden change that 
had come over Susan.
"Nothing," she lied. "There's nothing wrong." Her hand suddenly trembled 
violently and she dropped her fork into the salad.
Rem laid his napkin on the table and quickly pulled Susan to her feet.
"I'm all right! There's nothing wrong with me! Stop babying me, damn it! I'm all 
right!"
"You're not all right, Susan!" Rem shouted. "Tell me what's wrong!"
"Nothing that a little whiskey won't fix!" She fled to the kitchen cabinet where 
she kept the bottle. She yanked open the cabinet and was appalled at the empty 
cupboard. "Where is it?! Where's my whiskey?!"
"I threw it all down the drain. Remember?" He tried to remain calm. Becoming 
upset along with Susan would serve no purpose.
Susan clutched Rem by the shirt. The look in her eyes was wild. "Then I'll just 
go into town and buy a bottle." Her purse was sitting on the kitchen table and 
she grabbed it.
"No," Rem said firmly. As he wrestled the purse from her, Thor attacked him, and 
for a wild moment Susan thought Thor was going to tear him to pieces.
"Thor! No!" Susan screamed as Thor snarled. "No! No, I'm all right," she said 
gently as the dog calmed. Rem collapsed onto a chair.
"I thought I was dead," Rem said. "My God, I thought I was dead."
Susan quickly took Thor by the collar and led him out of the house, then closed 
the door so he couldn't get back in. "He didn't understand, Rem," she said. 
"Thor's a good dog. He just didn't..."
"Sit," Rem interrupted. "I don't understand, either. Sit down and talk to me."
She sat.
Chapter 12
"Now, from the beginning. Start from the beginning."
So Susan began. She began slowly, piece by piece revealing the bizarre 
happenings that had plagued her since childhood. When she described the 
appearance of her alien abductors, Rem showed no reaction. When she told him of 
the torturous physical examinations, he didn't flinch. When she told him of the 
hybrid children, his eyebrows went up.
"You don't believe me. You don't believe a word I've told you," Susan said, 
upset now.
Rem took her hand and held it tenderly. "Susan, I don't have a long enough 
history in my short memory to know if this could even be happening to you. But 
what I do know is this - I know that I won't allow anything to happen to you."
"But you can't stop them, Rem," Susan said frantically. "If you try to protect 
me, you'll end up on one of their torture tables just like me." She clutched his 
hand, afraid she had said too much - afraid he would leave her and her wild 
stories.
Rem looked at her; great compassion was in his eyes. "They won't take you 
tonight because I'm staying awake while you sleep. These "night beasts," as you 
call them, will not harm you."
***
Susan's hands were shaking so much, Rem had to help her undress and put on her 
pajamas. She was terrified of what she knew was to come. He gently laid her down 
on the sheets and then covered her and tucked her in the bed. "Rem, when they 
come for me, please don't try to stop them. Please," she heard herself 
mumbling...
-
"Take your filthy, clammy hands off me!" Susan screamed. "Get away from me!" 
Five small beings held her down on the table while she screamed herself hoarse. 
"Get awaaaaay from me, you bastards!"
She felt a sharp sting against her neck. They had hit her with the cattle prod, 
as she came to call it, again. Instantly she felt drugged. Her tongue was thick 
and she found it impossible to form words or even to use her voice.
A tall being, the same being that had plagued her since she was very small, 
glided up to her. It stared with its huge eyes, as if evaluating her for 
whatever insane purpose. Susan began whimpering in her mind. She didn't want to 
give in to these maniacs, but many times their very presence frightened her 
beyond reason. The being was doing it again - and it was enjoying it. "Rem!" 
Susan screamed in her mind.
"Rem is not here, Susan. You are all alone with this entity. Rem cannot save 
you. How does it feel, Susan, to be alone? How does it feel to be isolated and 
unloved and alone? What if this entity were to keep you here, alone and 
unwanted, away from your dear Rem? How would you feel, Susan?"
The being leaned over Susan and its head was now pressing fully on Susan's face. 
It felt like a monstrous grasshopper on her face and it was smothering her. 
"Noooo! Oh, God, nooooo!" Susan screamed in her head.
Suddenly the paralysis was gone. The five beings grabbed Susan's arms and 
unceremoniously dragged her out of the room.
"Where are you taking me? My God, haven't you done enough to me? Where are you 
taking me?" she choked.
They dragged her into the hybrid room. She didn't want to hold a baby now. She 
couldn't hold a baby. Didn't they know that she couldn't do what they asked when 
she was upset like this? Didn't they have any feelings at all?
The taller being telepathed, "Hold the babies."
"No," Susan said. She put her head down in a show of stubbornness. "Nothing you 
can do to me will make me hold a baby. I won't do it."
"Susan," the being telepathed, "still you cannot solve the puzzle. Your human 
brain is incapable of making any sense of what we have been doing to you all 
these years."
Susan reared her head up and looked the being in the eye. "Oh, I've made sense 
of it. You people have no emotions, so you are trying to generate in you what 
you don't have by making we emotional humans suffer. You are studying how we 
react in the pathetic hope of emulating us."
"This is partly true, yes, but..."
"You can't emulate emotion. You have to feel it...in here..." Susan pointed to 
her heart. "You bastards have no heart, no feelings. You're just cold bugs who 
prey upon us in the middle of the night. You yank us from our beds like a black 
widow spider devours her male partner. You're pathetic." She looked at the 
smaller beings who stood with arms at their sides. You are all just pathetic."
-
"Rem! Where am I? Help me!" Susan began to run, but tripped and fell. Underfoot 
it was wet and cold and slimy. "Help me, Rem!" she screamed. She tried to see 
where she was, but it was dark. And it was cold. She had to stop and think. She 
knew she couldn't just go plunging ahead if she didn't know where she was. She 
put her arms in front her and her fingers touched what felt like a tree! She was 
in a wooded area! She knew this now beyond doubt. They had never dumped her in a 
strange place before. They always returned her to her bed. She slowly sat down. 
She could feel grass and weeds beneath her. And then she went into a slow panic.
"Susan?!" a voice yelled through the trees.
"Rem?!" she screamed. "I'm here! Come to me, Rem!" She heard the welcome frantic 
bark of Thor. "I don't know where I am! I don't know where I am!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming!"
Susan sat in the weeds and sobbed. A flashlight beam flashed through the trees. 
"Here!" Susan screamed. "Over here!"
Rem came to her and he helped her stand up. Thor jumped on her and licked her. 
"Can you walk?" Rem asked.
"Yes," she sobbed. "Yes. Take me out of here."
With Susan's arm across Rem's shoulder, he led her out of the trees. Susan 
realized now that she must have been put into the same wooded area she for so 
many years had feared to enter. How else would Rem have been so close by?
"Elmo," Rem called. "Come, Elmo." Rem swept his flashlight across the grass 
until he caught Elmo in its beam. "Thor, get Elmo. Bring Elmo to me." Thor ran 
down the flashlight beam and shepherded Elmo to them. Rem skinnied onto Elmo's 
bare back, then leaned down and pulled Susan up. She sat in front of Rem and he 
put his arms around her and held her securely. Rem made a clicking sound with 
his tongue. "Take us home, Elmo. Take us home."
***
Rem listened intently as Susan told him what had happened to her. "And they were 
angry with me," Susan said. "They were angry and they dumped me in the middle of 
the woods."
"I fell asleep, Susan. I'm so sorry, but I just couldn't stay awake. When I 
finally did wake up, I checked to see if you were still in your bed."
Susan took Rem's hand. "Then you do believe me. You do believe these beings 
actually take me from my bed and terrorize me."
"Of course I believe you. I never doubted you."
"But..." Susan was stunned that this man trusted her so totally. "This...this is 
not the kind of story most people would believe, Rem. This is an insane story 
and I'm sure that people who lived before our enlightened age of psychiatric 
care were simply locked up when they told of their abduction experiences. You've 
known me little more than a month, yet you believe my wild tales."
"I love you, Susan. Love brings trust. Trust brings more love."
"Oh, God, I don't even deserve you." Susan put her arms around this mysterious 
man and she fell asleep.
***
When Susan awoke the next morning, Rem was sleeping peacefully beside her. She 
noticed spots of blood on the coverlet. Her hands and feet were lacerated, and 
she was so exhausted when Rem brought her home that she simply crawled into bed 
without asking Rem to tend to them.
Now she was startled at a knock on the door. It was unusual for someone to come 
by so early in the morning. She felt Rem's hand on her shoulder. "You'd better 
open it, Susan."
Susan looked up at him. "Yeah...yeah, I'd better." She quickly put on her robe 
and Rem followed her to the door. She opened it. "Well, good morning, Hank," 
Susan said cheerfully.
"Good morning," the man said. Hank, a tall, kind looking man with a very red 
beard, stood on the steps, craning his neck to see Rem standing behind Susan.
"Uh, Hank," Susan half turned and looked up at Rem, "Hank, you haven't met Rem - 
Rem Livingston. Rem, this is Hank Steinberg, my neighbor across the way. Hank 
has that dairy farm practically next door to us...uh...me. What brings you here 
this time of the morning, Hank?"
"May I come in?"
"Sure," Susan said as she stepped back from the door. "Sure, come on in."
Hank stepped into the house. "Well, it's kind of awkward, me being here." Hank 
took off his cap and scratched the back of his neck. "I came because I heard the 
noise last night."
"Noise?" Susan said. "What noise?"
"Screams. Charlotte and I always sleep with the windows open in the summer 
months and sound travels pretty good out here in the country. Charlotte and I 
heard you screaming last night. I just wanted to make sure you were all right." 
Hank looked hard at Rem.
"I'm fine, Hank." She felt uncomfortable with Hank's stare. "Surely you don't 
think Rem had anything to do with me screaming, do you?"
"I don't know. I just wanted to stop by to make sure you were all right."
"I'm fine, Hank. Really. It's sweet of you to have come."
Hank looked into Susan's eyes. "The screams came from the direction of the 
wooded area. Didn't I tell you, even when you and Carol were young kids, never 
to go into the wooded area?" he admonished.
"Yes, but..."
Hank looked at Rem now. "You found her in there, didn't you?" Hank wasn't acting 
in a threatening manner. It appeared as if he simply wanted answers.
"Yes," Rem said softly. "I found her in there. It appears as if Susan was 
walking in her sleep. When I woke up and realized she was gone, I took Elmo and 
went looking for her. Her screams led me to her."
"Oh," Hank said. He put his cap back on. "Sorry to have bothered you then. Nice 
to meet you, Rem. What's that name short for? 'Rembrandt' maybe? Never heard of 
that name before - Rem. Hmmm."
"Yes," Rem said. "It's short for 'Rembrandt.'" Rem smiled at Susan and gently 
squeezed her arm.
Hank looked at Rem's hand on Susan's arm. And then he smiled. He went to the 
door, then turned and said, "Keep her safe, Rembrandt. She can't do it by 
herself." Hank quietly shut the door behind him.
"What a strange visit that was," Susan said. "How odd. In all the years I've 
known Hank, he's never paid me a visit like that one."
"Rem looked puzzled. "Who is Rembrandt?"
***
"Maybe they're just curious about me, Susan. I'm anxious to meet your neighbors. 
It will be fun."
"They're nosy," Susan said. "Why else would Hank invite us to dinner?"
Rem grinned. "Maybe Hank or his wife is as good a cook as you."
Susan playfully picked up the throw pillow off the couch and tossed it at him. 
"Oh, so you don't like the way I cook?"
Rem took her wrists and said, "I love everything you do. I love everything about 
you. And it's fortunate we have several hours before we have to be there because 
that gives us time to appreciate each other."
-
"I don't know why I'm nervous about this very simple invitation to dinner, Rem, 
but I am." Susan drove the car up Steinberg's very long country lane and parked 
it on the grass under a spreading oak tree.
"You'll be fine." He looked at her. "We will be fine."
-
At the beginning of the evening Susan realized her fears were unfounded. The 
Steinbergs asked no personal questions about Rem, and Charlotte's cooking was 
delicious as usual. Susan was delighted that Hank was warm to Rem. Rem needed a 
friend like Hank. Susan had known the Steinbergs all her life and they had 
treated her like a granddaughter through those years.
"Rem, how about I take you out to the barn?" Hank said, as he took his last bite 
of cherry pie and settled back against his chair. "I've got lots of dairy cows. 
You might enjoy seeing my operation."
"All right," Rem said. "I'd like to see them."
Rem wanted Susan to go with him, but Susan wanted to talk to Charlotte. She 
hadn't visited with her since Rem came into her life and she wanted to assure 
Charlotte that she was okay. And Susan welcomed the chance to catch up on 
gossip.
They had only been talking for little more than a half hour when one of the 
hired hands came running in the door. "Susan, there's something wrong with Rem! 
Come with me! Hurry!"
Chapter 13
Susan bolted out the door with Charlotte close behind. "This way!" the hired 
hand said. "Hurry! This way!"
Susan was running so fast it felt like her lungs were on fire. She saw Hank 
standing at the barn door, his face ashen. "What's wrong?!" Susan screamed. "For 
God's sake, what's wrong?!"
"In here." Hank motioned them in and he led them to Rem who was sitting in a 
corner of the barn with his knees under his chin.
"Rem?" Susan said as she dropped to the ground. "Rem, can you hear me?"
He lifted his head from his knees and smiled weakly when he saw her. "Susan," he 
said dully. "Susan, you're always here when I need you."
Susan looked at those standing around him now. The entire work crew was there. 
"Leave us be. He'll be all right. I just have to talk to him. Please leave us 
be."
The work crew and Hank and Charlotte left quietly. Susan looked into Rem's eyes. 
"Tell me, Sweetheart. Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me how you feel." She 
gently stroked his cheek to give him a feeling of comfort and safety.
"It's the memories that are coming back, Susan." He took her hand and nestled it 
against the crook of his neck. "I can't stand it. I can't stand what I recall - 
what I see."
"What do you see?" she asked in a whisper.
"I...at the time, I remember, but then it fades from my memory. I want to go 
back to what I see, but then I think I panic at the thought of that."
"Why?" Susan asked gently."
"Because where I want to go won't...won't allow you in. You couldn't live 
there." Rem looked into Susan's eyes. "And I won't leave you. I won't. And when 
I realize that you can't be in that place with me, I reject it." He put his head 
down and closed his eyes. Then he looked up. "Am I losing my mind, Susan?"
Susan put her arms around him. "Nooo, Rem," she whispered with more confidence 
than she felt. "You're not losing your mind. You're just having some hard times 
right now, but we'll get it figured out."
"I think we should go home, now. I'd like to go home."
Susan drove them home. Rem sat silently, his eyes drifting off, focusing on 
nothing as Susan drove. When they got home, Rem laid down on the couch and Susan 
covered him over with the comforter that was lying across the couch back. She 
heard a car coming up the driveway. She could tell by the sound of it that it 
wasn't Hank's pickup, nor was it Carol's big Oldsmobile. She looked out the 
window. It was Brian's Jaguar.
"Someone's here," Rem said lazily. He was almost asleep.
"I'll go see," Susan said. "Sleep." She kissed him on the cheek and went to the 
door.
"Brian, what in the hell are you doing here?" Susan snapped, angry at Brian's 
blatant disregard for her privacy.
"I just thought I'd stop by and check on things," he said, smiling.
"What things, Brian. What things would you be checking on?"
"Please don't be angry with me, Susan. I just wanted to see how Rem was getting 
along. Is he okay?"
"I didn't know there was anything wrong with him!" Susan said, irritated at the 
inference.
"Susan, if you ever need help, you know who to call. Just because we're no 
longer an item doesn't mean I don't care for you." He looked at her, pleading in 
his eyes.
"Brian, we were never an item and I don't need your help. Not now. Not ever. 
Have I made myself clear? I don't want you to come back here. You can speak to 
me at work but you're not welcome to come into my private life."
"I understand that," Brian said. "I'm only holding out my hands in friendship. 
That's all. Just friendship. And not just to you, but to Rem as well. I like 
Rem. He's a nice man. You two are a match and you're head over heels in love 
with each other, so I'm not trying to come back into your life." He stood and 
looked at her, waiting for a response.
Susan began to cry. She was standing outside and she let the door close softly 
behind her so Rem wouldn't hear her. "Brian, I don't know what to do. Rem has 
memories that are upsetting him so much, and he can't hang onto them long enough 
to know what they are. His mind simply covers them over. I don't know what I'm 
going to do."
"Maybe the best course is to do nothing."
"Brian, what if the reason Rem can't remember his past is because he did 
something horrible and now he can't face it. Maybe he killed someone. Maybe he 
raped someone. Maybe...maybe he molested and murdered a child. Oh, God, I don't 
know anything about him. I can't bear it anymore." She put her head in her hands 
and sobbed bitterly.
The door opened and Rem stood in it. "She's upset, Brian. What have you said to 
her?"
"Nothing. I just came to see how you both were."
Susan looked up at Rem. "Don't blame Brian, Sweetheart. He means well. He came 
by to see if we were all right. Brian means well."
Rem walked down the front steps and then put his arms around Susan. He looked at 
Brian and said, "We appreciate you stopping by. Thank you."
"I wish I could help you, Rem," Brian said sincerely.
"So do I, Brian. As far as I know I've lived for exactly one month and twelve 
days. I can't remember any further back than that. I've just been put here," he 
looked down at Susan in his arms, "and I'm ruining this woman's life."
***
It was an intuitive feeling in her gut that woke her up, and she knew during the 
first microsecond of consciousness that Rem was gone. Susan began to scream in 
that high pitched scream that only a grief stricken human can utter. Then she 
fumbled for the telephone. "Brian! Brian, Rem's gone! You have to help me! 
Please! Please help me!" The words tumbled from her very soul.
"How long has he been gone?"
"Help me, Brian!"
"Stop, Susan. I can't help you if you panic. How long has he been gone?"
"Not...not long. I don't think he's been gone long."
"All right, listen carefully. Go out to the barn and take one of your horses and 
ride towards the woods. Take a flashlight with you and scream like hell for Rem. 
Beg and plead that you want him to come home. Do you understand me?"
"Are you...are you nuts, Brian?"
"No, I'm not. Go do it and I'll try to explain all this when I get there. Hurry. 
Try to catch him before he reaches the woods." There was a click on the other 
end as Brian hung up.
Susan yanked on her jeans and grabbed her shirt and the flashlight. She closed 
the door, leaving Rem inside, then raced out the door. Thor began barking 
furiously inside the house. Before she even reached the barn she clicked on the 
flashlight and began screaming, "Rem! Rem, come home! Please, Rem, come home!" 
When she reached the barn she pulled Lady out of the stall and climbed on her 
bare back. Then she began racing across the field, criss crossing, trying to 
cover as much area as possible, all the while sweeping the light across the 
grass and screaming Rem's name.
"Susan!" It wasn't Rem's voice; it was Hank Steinberg's voice!
"Hank! Help me! Rem is gone and I'm trying to find him. Please help me." Susan 
was taking air into her lungs in painful, ragged gulps.
"Stay where you are, Susan. I'll come to you. Stay right there. I'm on Charger. 
We'll ride up to you."
The night was cloudy, and what moon there was was diminished by the clouds 
across it. Only the flashlight gave Susan any light to see by. Her hands were 
quivering. The light she now had trained on Hank made his image waver.
"Hank," she said as he came up to her. "Oh, God, Hank, what am I going to do? 
How did you know I was out here? None of this is making any sense." Susan took 
Hank's hand and gripped it, as if trying to wring some of his emotional strength 
from him.
"I'm out here because Brian called me. He'll be here shortly. He can make that 
Jaguar move when he's in a hurry."
"You know...you know Brian? I don't understand this. I don't understand any of 
this." She began to panic again.
"Shhh, Susan," Hank said comfortingly. "You will understand everything in only a 
few more minutes. All the hell, all the mystery that has plagued you and your 
family will at long last make sense. All the memories that Rem can't access now 
will make sense. He's going after them right now, as we speak. Brian and I knew 
it would come to this. We knew that eventually Rem would come to realize."
"Come to realize what?" Susan's heart was slamming, slamming, slamming, in her 
chest.
"Come to realize where he comes from and where you don't want to be."
Chapter 14
Brian had arrived. He was as cryptic with his explanations as Hank was. "What do 
we do, Hank? If we don't get him back he'll be making the mistake of his life."
"What are you talking about," Susan asked. "What in the bloody hell are you 
talking about?"
"Susan," Hank said, "Brian and I have been dishonest with you. We are not who we 
appear to be. We've tried to protect you, and Rem, too, but I'm afraid we're 
going to have to reveal a secret that no one else can know. You have to give us 
your word that you will never reveal what we are about to introduce you to."
"I won't," Susan said hurriedly. "I'll never reveal it. Just take me to Rem."
Brian skinnied up on Lady's back in front of Susan and they rode towards the 
woods.
Susan clutched Brian's belt until she thought she was going to tear it from the 
belt loops of Brian's jeans. "Are you crazy?" Susan whispered. "Are you both 
crazy? We're not supposed to go in there. Dad always told us kids never to go in 
there. Hank, you lectured me over and over when we were kids never to go in 
there. Once, when I was ten, Charlotte hauled me out of there by the scruff of 
my neck." Susan was so frightened, she felt woozy.
"Don't cave on us, Susan," Hank said. "Just trust us."
The horses whinnied nervously when they broke through the perimeter of the 
trees. "It's all right, girl," Brian mumbled. He patted Lady's neck as Susan 
played the light off the trees. She had never been this frightened. Not even 
when the night beasts had put her here a week ago. She didn't know where she was 
then. She didn't realize it was in these woods until Rem came to get her. Rem. 
Where was he now? Where were they taking her now?
A small branch grazed her cheek. She started in the saddle. "Just a branch, 
Susan," Brian said. "It got me too."
Brian reigned in and stopped, as did Hank. "Where are we, Brian?" Susan asked.
"Hank, you're more familiar with this facility entrance than I am," Brian said.
"Facility entrance?" Susan croaked. Her throat was dry. Her heart was skipping 
beats wildly.
Hank swung his flashlight around and put the beam on the trunk of a huge tree. 
"It's right here. Easier to spot in the day, but I'd know it blindfolded."
Brian slid off Lady and tied her to a nearby branch. Lady pawed the ground 
nervously. Hank slid off his horse and tied it to the same branch. Susan leaned 
on Lady's neck and clung to her mane. "No," Susan said, breathing so rapidly she 
felt faint. "No, don't take me in there. Don't. Don't take me in there. I'm 
starting to remember this. Please don't take me in there."
Hank looked at her in the eerie light of two flashlights. "We can't leave him 
there, can we? If you love him you'll come with us so we can talk him out. 
That's no life for him there. His life is with you, isn't it?"
"Yes, uh, uh, uh..."
Hank put his hand on her arm. "It will be all right," Hank said. "Brian and I 
won't let anything happen to you. But you have to want Rem enough to go after 
him. Can you do that?"
Susan took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I can do it...I can do it. I 
must do it." She slid off the horse and nearly collapsed when she touched the 
ground.
"You'll get over your fear when we go inside," Brian said. He looked at Susan 
with affection. "Damn, girl, Rem deserves you. I see that now."
Hank took a device from his pocket that looked like a beeper. He pressed it and 
a small red light blinked on, indicating he had activated the device. A door 
quite suddenly appeared on the trunk of the massive tree. Hank pressed its face 
with his fingers and the door slid back, revealing steps that led down into the 
ground.
"Oh, my God," Susan mumbled under her breath. "Oh, my God."
They walked down three steps and the door closed quietly behind them. Terror 
swept through Susan. Hank clutched her hand in reassurance. "Just a few more 
steps, Susan," he said.
They walked further down the stairway until they came to a landing. The stairway 
was well lit by a source that Susan couldn't determine.
Hank pushed on the door that was in front of them. It slid open, just like the 
door of an elevator car. They stepped inside and Hank pushed a button in a row 
of several buttons.
Susan looked around her. They were in a space approximately six feet by six 
feet. "This looks like an ordinary elevator."
"It is," Hank said. "It's a standard government issue elevator." Hank glanced at 
Brian as the elevator began to move downward. They traveled for thirty seconds 
before the elevator lurched to a stop and the door slid open.
Susan gawked at the dimly lit corridor that stretched from the door, almost to 
infinity, it seemed. "No!" Susan struggled to free herself, struggled to reach 
the buttons that would take her back to the surface. "No! I was on their ship! I 
was out in space!"
"It was an illusion, Susan," Brian said. "They wanted you to think you were on 
their ship."
"But I wasn't, was I? I was down here! Every time they took me they brought me 
down here!" Again she tried to struggle away from them, but this time Brian 
slammed her up against the wall of the elevator car.
"Easy son, easy," Hank said.
Brian looked into Susan's eyes while he held her tightly. "Now listen, damn you, 
we're trying to engineer a good outcome for all of us. Now, settle down."
Susan felt herself sagging to the floor. Hank pulled her back up and steadied 
her until she got her footing. "Susan," Hank said kindly, "this is a U.S. 
Government facility. It's also the place where you have been abducted since you 
were a child."
"Ohhh." She felt her knees buckle again.
"Susan," Hank said, as he pulled her to her feet once again, "I realize all this 
is slamming you in the face, but Rem is down here. I'm going to give you a 
chance to back out of this. If he's not worth it to you, I'll take you home." He 
looked into her eyes. "Last chance. What's it going to be?"
Susan found her footing now. "I don't intend to back out."
Hank said, "All right. I was hoping you'd say that. Susan, our government and 
the particular group of ETs you will see in this facility have had a formal 
alliance with our government since 1953."
"What?" Susan felt the 'what' burst from her lips.
"I know," Hank said. "I know all this probably seems like a surrealistic dream 
to you, but it's important you understand. We'll explain everything to you once 
we find Rem and get him out of here, but it's important you realize that none of 
us is in any real danger. We'll paint you a very informative picture for you 
when we're back up top. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," Susan mumbled.
"All right." Hank looked relieved. "Now, we've entered the back door of this 
place. Brian and I usually enter at the front." Hank looked at Brian as if he 
wanted Brian to back up the next question Hank anticipated from Susan.
"Where's the front entrance?" Susan asked. She looked inquiringly at one, then 
the other.
Brian said, "Kansas City."
Susan sucked in her breath. "That's twenty miles away!"
"Exactly," Brian said. "but on this end are the hybrid babies and children." 
Susan's jaw dropped. She tried to speak, but Brian plunged on. "No, Susan, Rem 
is not a hybrid, but he has been raised by the ETs. I'll save the 'why' for 
later. Right now we have to find Rem."
"Hank said, "He's undoubtedly with his mother."
A dream Rem once had now flashed through Susan's mind. She had awakened to his 
babblings. She remembered he was terrified. He didn't want to leave. He was 
afraid to go out on his own. At the time she felt bad for him; he was dreaming a 
memory. Was the memory about this place, and was he agonizing over leaving his 
mother?"
She was startled to a state of full alert when she felt Hank grip her wrist. 
"Enough talk. Let's get Rem."
Chapter 15
They walked quickly down the dimly lit hallway. Susan immediately understood why 
the halls were not brightly lit when she saw several ETs walk like human insects 
across their path. As their huge heads moved stutteringly from side to side with 
each step, their bulging, black eyes staring one way, then another, she realized 
the light level had to be kept low enough to accommodate the light gathering 
power of their sensitive eyes. And although her blood ran cold at the sight of 
these beasts who had terrorized her countless times, she drew satisfaction from 
the fact that she was now invading their territory. She was in their space. She 
wanted to kill them.
"Walk quickly, Susan," Hank said. "The quicker we find Rem, the quicker we can 
take you out of here." Hank guided Susan through a labyrinth of hallways and 
rooms, her jaw dropping as she saw humans and ETs apparently working together in 
full cooperation with each other, her anger mounting as she tried to piece 
together why no human had ever raised a hand to stop these nightmares from 
abducting and torturing her.
"Here," Brian said, as he pointed at a doorway. "Stop."
Susan stopped.
"We think Rem is in this room. If he is, you're going to meet Rem's mother and 
we want to prepare you for what may be shocking to you."
"For God's sake," Susan said, "I don't need to be prepared after what I've just 
seen." She pulled away from Brian and strode through the doorway, confident she 
could stand anything. But she wasn't prepared for this. Not for this. "Ahh!" 
Susan started. She inadvertently put her hand to her eyes.
"Susan!" Rem said. "Susan." He came to her and wrapped his strong arms around 
her. She gasped in his arms. "Oh, Rem," she said. She wanted to die in his arms. 
She wanted him to take her out of this insane place. "Take me home Rem. Please 
take me home. I'll give you a good life. Please take me home," Susan begged.
Rem stepped away from her. "I'm coming home with you, Susan. Did you think I 
wasn't coming back?" He looked at Hank, then Brian. "Did she think I wasn't 
coming back?"
"Well, yes, something like that," Hank said.
Rem embraced Susan again. "No, Susan, I was coming back," he whispered. "I just 
came to see my mother one more time. I'll never see her again. I wanted to see 
her one last time. Let me introduce you to her."
"No, I..."
Rem smiled. "She won't hurt you, Susan. She's my mother."
A being sat quietly at a table. Susan knew this being was an adult hybrid. She 
looked partly human and partly alien. Her head was half again as large as a 
normal human head. Her eyes were much larger than a human's - fully four times 
larger. The being's nose was very small and the mouth had no lips. Her hair was 
white and thin and looked undernourished.
Susan found it difficult to look at this nightmare of a being. Her thin trunk 
and long thin arms made her a true freak of nature. The clothes she wore were 
tight fitting, accenting even more the hideous nature of her body.
"Mother, this is Susan," Rem said proudly. "I love her and I want to marry her."
The being nodded its big head in acknowledgment.
"H...hello," Susan said, her voice shaking, her limbs quivering. "I'm so happy 
to meet you." She could see Hank from the corner of her eye. He stood quietly. 
Fighting revulsion, Susan extended her hand to the being. The being took Susan's 
hand and held it briefly. Susan wanted to jerk her hand from its grasp, but she 
didn't.
"I am also happy to meet you," the being voiced through an alien mouth. Her 
voice sounded as if she were speaking in a cavern. Susan suspected her mouth had 
considerably more volume than a normal human's. But even so, Susan understood 
her perfectly.
Susan took Rem by the hand. "I...I want to marry your son. Do I have your 
permission?" she found herself asking respectfully.
"Yes, you do." The being looked down at the floor. "You are frightened by my 
appearance," she said. "You are fearful of me - not because you think I will 
harm you, but because I look monstrous. Correct?" The being looked up and Susan 
saw a tiredness in the woman's eyes that suddenly seemed to make Susan and this 
being the same.
"Yes," Susan said softly. "I'm ashamed that I am reacting this way. I don't mean 
to. I don't mean to hurt you. I'm just very upset right now." Susan looked 
around the room. There were no furnishings except for a table and two chairs. 
She didn't know if the woman lived in this room or if she was simply here to be 
with Rem. She didn't know anything about this woman or any of the other beings 
here. She didn't know why humans were in this space with extraterrestrials. She 
didn't know what any of this was all about. She was ready to scream.
"Would you feel uncomfortable if I asked Rem and your two friends to leave so 
that you and I can talk?"
Susan felt faint. "No. That would...that would be fine." She let go of Rem's 
arm, pleading with her eyes not to leave her here with this walking nightmare.
Rem smiled at Susan. Then he and Hank and Brian stepped out the door.
The being motioned for Susan to sit down. Susan did so. She was close enough to 
touch this being.
"I am half human and half alien, Susan," the being said. "When I was just a 
fetus the ETs took me from my mother and mixed their DNA with my own DNA, and 
you see the result before you."
Susan began to sob. "I'm so sorry," Susan said.
"Yes," the being whispered. "As am I. I don't fit anywhere. I don't fit in the 
world of the ET, nor do I fit in the world of the human. Can you imagine what 
would happen if I would suddenly appear on the surface?"
"Yes," Susan said. "I can well imagine." She cried openly now.
"Susan, I am a soul living in a body that belongs nowhere. I am lonely beyond 
your wildest imaginings. The only person who has saved me from a desperate life 
is Rem. I raised Rem from the time he was a baby. I rocked him and sang to him 
and changed him when he dirtied, just like a human mother would. I have learned 
about everything I have missed as a human by watching television transmissions. 
It is how Rem has become so human in his behavior."
"Rem is human," Susan said.
"Yes," the being agreed. "Rem is fully human. When he was barely two years old 
he and his family had an automobile accident. The rest of his family died in the 
ensuing fire, but Rem was saved. Several ETs in a small craft who happened to be 
in the vicinity right after the accident occurred managed to save Rem. They are 
instructed to do so if a situation such as this one should arise. It's an 
excellent way to take humans without leaving a grieving family behind. Rem was 
assigned to me. I was to be his mother."
Susan didn't know why she suddenly felt so comfortable with this being, but she 
spontaneously took the being's hand in her own and squeezed it gently. "I'll bet 
you were a good mother."
"I was and still am an excellent mother."
"Hank!" Susan yelled. "Hank, I want to see someone."
The three of them had been standing outside the door and they quickly came into 
the room. "Who do you want to see?" Hank asked.
"I want to see that son-of-a-bitch that has put me through hell since I was a 
little girl."
"Now, I don't think that would be a very good..."
"Get him!" Susan roared. "Get him or I'm going to go through every goddamned 
room, room by room, if I have to go all the way to Kansas City!
Chapter 16
The being came into the room slowly, as if anticipating Susan's wrath. It looked 
at her with its black, bulging eyes. They looked almost baleful rather than 
powerful and cruel as she remembered them from so many abductions in the past. 
Susan said, "you don't look so frightening in the light. You don't seem so much 
like a nightmare when you don't have me strapped to one of your goddamned 
torture tables."
The being stood, unmoving.
Susan felt Rem's hand on her shoulder. She covered his hand with her own, but 
continued looking into the eyes of the being. "Why?" Susan asked. "Why do you do 
this? Do you get off somehow with torturing humans? I know it's not a woman 
thing with you. I've seen you abuse men. I've also seen you abuse children. You 
have no preferences, do you? You hurt everyone. You people are so arrogant...so 
arrogant," she felt her voice rising, "that you have inflicted your DNA on this 
woman." Susan looked at Rem's mother. "What has she done to deserve this? Can 
you give me even the weakest excuse for doing this to her?"
Susan could see the being's chest moving like a grasshopper's thorax. She knew 
she was upsetting him and she enjoyed it immensely. "You know, if I had a gun, 
it would be a toss-up right now if you would be left standing when we leave this 
place."
The being's head twitched slightly.
"Now, this is the way it's going to be," Susan said. "You will never hurt me 
again. You will not touch me. You will not abduct me, you will not frighten me, 
you will not jerk me from my bed in the middle of the night, you will not drive 
me to drink. And, most importantly, you will not interfere in the lives of Rem 
and I or our future children - ever. You are nothing. Do your understand me? You 
are nothing. You are a pathetic creature who I almost feel sorry for."
And at that, Susan sat down. She was breathing heavily from anger, and as she 
telepathed her intense resolve to this entity who, for whatever reason, had made 
her life hell, the being silently turned and left the room.
"You've got guts, girl," Brian breathed in awe. "My God, you've got guts."
Susan smiled and looked at Rem's mother. "Do you have a name?" she gently asked.
"My name is Jamara."
"Jamara," Susan repeated to herself. "That's a very pretty name. Jamara." Susan 
reached across the table and gently took Jamara's hand. "Jamara, for me to say 
that the world will accept you would be a lie. You couldn't be seen by those on 
the surface. But the back entrance to this facility is very close to my home." 
Susan smiled at Rem now. "Our home. If we are careful, we could get you 
sometimes and you could maybe stay with us for short periods of time. Would you 
like that?"
Jamara put her head down and sobbed into her four-fingered hands.
***
Susan was unspeakably angry as she listened to Hank and Brian tell their story. 
In the 1950s, during the time of Dwight D. Eisenhower's presidency, the ETs had 
approached the American Government. The ETs had technology the Americans wanted. 
The Americans had something the ETs wanted - human specimens to abduct and 
study. The American Government agreed that the ETs could abduct humans, provided 
the memory of the horrific event was erased from their minds each time an 
abduction took place. Unfortunately, some people like Susan recalled their 
abductions.
It was stressed by the government that the physical examinations were to be 
noninvasive and harmless overall. But as the level of technology given by the 
ETs increased in quality and complexity, the Americans more and more turned 
their heads to the abductions that were taking place, and to the deep levels the 
abductions were descending to. Originally the ETs agreed they would abduct only 
small numbers of humans, but it soon became obvious that many more people were 
being taken and brutally examined than first agreed upon.
The facility close to Susan's home was only one of many. ETs and Americans 
worked closely together, and the Americans were fully aware of the hybrid 
program the ETs were conducting. The objective was to make a super race, 
combining the best features of both species, and some factions of the American 
Government were supporting it fanatically.
Rem grew up in the facility, and he had never been above ground until the day he 
met Susan at the college. Rem was educated, both informally by access to various 
types of media like television, radio, and films, and formally through a 
rigorous education. He was trained in computer science, preparing him for the 
day when he would enter the world. Human operatives had planted false records 
that gave Rem a birth certificate and a social security number - an identity in 
the world above. Rem had correctly remembered the first and last names that were 
given him - Rem Livingston. This was because the ETs had selectively erased his 
memory, leaving in place those facts he was to remember.
When Rem entered the world above, he could remember almost nothing of his former 
life. The ETs had successfully erased most of it from his mind. Hank also 
suspected that Rem's sudden introduction into the world was so difficult for him 
that the shock of entry helped block all memory of his previous life in the 
facility.
Brian had been sent to work as a nurse at the college so he could monitor Rem. 
The Americans had chosen the college as Rem's entry point because they felt it 
was a safe, friendly place. Brian had twice tried to slowly ease memories of 
Rem's previous life into his conscious mind in hopes that it would help Rem make 
a smoother transition into his new life, but Rem always panicked when the past 
was revealed to him, and his mind would simply shut down.
Susan remembered how Rem had first appeared to her. He was dirty, unkempt, and 
he badly needed a shave. Hank explained that the ETs wanted to study human 
reaction to this kind of individual. Would a human, they wondered, when faced 
with a suspicious, unsavory stranger, react in a helping way to that stranger? 
Or would the reaction be one of fear? Or of disgust? Or of anger? The ETs wanted 
to know and Brian was to be the observer.
Susan sat back on her kitchen chair and she eyed both men closely. "So tell me, 
junior campers, how you can justify these people abducting me all these years. 
Brian, I can almost forgive you because you're young and probably haven't seen 
me under the instruments of torture of these people, but Hank, I'm going to find 
it difficult to let you off the hook. Surely you knew, even when I was a little 
girl, that this was going on." She looked at him steadily, as if willing an 
answer from him that made sense.
"I knew," Hank said softly, "but I never saw what they did to you. I never saw 
them bring you in."
"Soooo you just didn't come to work those nights? You just stayed home on those 
nights when you knew they were going to take me? Or don't you work the night 
shift?" she clipped.
"Susan, listen to me." Hank leaned forward. "Brian and Rem will back me up on 
this. These beings...these ETs have intentions we can't fight."
"What do you mean?" Susan suddenly felt herself sweating.
"I think you know what I mean. These beings plan eventually to colonize this 
planet."
Susan thought she was going to faint. "C...colonize? Take over the planet?"
"Yes."
Susan looked at Rem. Then she looked at Brian. "And this is good? Do you think 
this is good?"
"It's not good," Rem said. "It's not good, but we can't stop it."
"Well, we've got to stop it," Susan said. "We can't just sit here and let them 
do this. We have to stop them."
"For now, we have," Brian said. "They are as afraid of our nuclear capability as 
we are afraid of them. They look at us as a bunch of loose cannons, and that's 
in our favor. I suspect that if they should make their move now, it would be a 
re-enactment of a thousand science fiction films we've all seen so many times 
before. Monsters from outer space invade the planet, Earth rallies at the last 
minute, the World unites and the armed forces nuke 'em."
"So why don't they just leave?"
"Because," Rem said, "they've got nothing but time. They are patient people, and 
when the time is right, they will colonize this planet."
Chapter 17
The wedding of Susan and Rem was beautiful. Susan was the glowing bride and Rem 
was the most handsome and manly groom. No one in their wildest imaginings would 
have believed what really went on in Susan and Rem's lives. And Susan and Rem 
planned to keep it that way. Life was complicated enough without opening 
themselves to ridicule.
On the night after their wedding, Hank and Charlotte brought Jamara to them. 
Susan no longer found herself appalled by Jamara's appearance. Instead, she 
found herself drawn to Jamara. Jamara was a lot like Susan. She was strong and 
kind, and she was a very capable person who loved fiercely. They talked long 
into the night.
Before the sun rose the next morning, Hank came and took Jamara back to the 
facility.
***
The moon was full, and the evening was pleasantly warm. Susan was wearing her 
leathers that Rem loved so much. She sat easy in the saddle, and she felt 
wonderful. Lady snorted; she was skittish. The woods loomed up eerily in front 
of them. "Whoa, Lady. Whoa," Susan said softly. "We're not going in there." She 
patted the side of Lady's neck. "We're just looking." She felt Rem's hand take 
her own. He sat tall and straight on Elmo's bare back, and Susan could see him 
smiling at her in the light of the moon.
"Maybe we should move away, Susan. The memories of your abductions will forever 
get in the way of this place."
"I'm not moving, Rem. These people will not make me move. Besides, your mother 
lives here."
"Susan, she's not my mother by birth. She doesn't even look human. Yet you refer 
to her as my mother. You're amazing. You are as kind as she is, and when I was 
living with her I didn't think there was anyone else in my world who was as kind 
as she."
"Rem, the woman who lives in that facility is your mother. Your birth mother 
died in that car crash and Jamara raised you as her own. Birth parents don't 
necessarily make good parents. They're just parents by default. I'm not saying 
that if your birth mother would have survived she would not have been a good 
parent. But she didn't. And neither did your father. Jamara took you in and you 
became her son. It's called 'love', Rem."
"Yes, I know," he said softly. Elmo whinnied low and pawed the ground. "Do you 
agree with that, Elmo?" Rem asked him, as if the horse were another human. Elmo 
whinnied again.
"You must be right, Susan. Elmo agrees with you."
"I want to know something, Rem. And I want you to tell me, even if it hurts."
"All right," Rem answered. He shifted his weight across Elmo's bare back.
"Did you...did you ever see them...them..."
"No. I never saw them abduct you or subject you to physical examinations. Is 
that what you were going to ask me?"
"Yes," Susan whispered. "Yes, that was what I wanted to know."
"I never saw any of that. I never saw you there. There were rumors that the ETs 
were doing this to humans, but we didn't believe it. We never saw them bring any 
humans into the facility. It was all done behind closed doors. The only humans I 
knew were the ones that worked there."
"How long has Brian worked in the facility?"
"Probably a year. I never really knew him, so when they put him into the college 
to watch over me, I didn't recognize him. Not at first, anyway. How long have 
you known him?" Rem's question was pointed. It hung in the air between them.
Susan giggled softly. "Why, Rem, you're jealous! Aren't you? It bothers you that 
Brian and I were lovers, even if for a very short time."
"It bothered me at first. I think Brian was somewhere in the back of my memory 
when I came into your office that first time. Somehow I knew he wasn't right for 
you."
"Well, you were right. He wasn't right for me. But he was the best I could come 
up with at the time."
Rem took Susan's hand and kissed it. "I'm so glad Hank put me in the college 
that first day. What a fortunate day that was for me."
"Rem," Susan said, "I hope you realize what a wonderful catch you are." As she 
said it, she realized that Rem probably wouldn't know what she meant by the 
slang expression, "catch." There was so much she wanted to teach him.
"Catch?"
"Yeah, catch. It means that you are a wonderful man and I feel very lucky you 
wanted to marry me."
"Susan, you could have rejected me."
"Ah, but I wouldn't have. You lived almost your entire life in that facility 
over there," Susan motioned towards the trees with her head, "and most people 
who would suddenly enter this world after being raised in a protected 
environment among beings that probably don't even think like humans would be 
emotionally ruined. It's a testament to the strength of your character that you 
came out of there an emotionally balanced person."
"Maybe I owe my emotional balance to you."
"No, you owe it to yourself. You are a strong person, Rem. You give me a feeling 
of strength and safety. That's why I'm no longer afraid of the ETs. I know you 
will protect me."
Rem turned Elmo around, back towards the house. Susan did the same. "It's more 
than that, Susan. You were so strong when you confronted the ET that has been 
abducting you. You made it very clear that if it should happen again, you will 
no longer be intimidated by them. They only have power over you if you are 
frightened. Now that they realize you can no longer be frightened by their ways, 
they will leave you alone. And God help them if they should mess with our future 
children." Rem and Susan were riding side by side, now. He eased Elmo right next 
to Lady.
"What on earth are you doing?" Susan said, laughing.
"I want you with me," Rem whispered. He leaned across the small gap between them 
and smoothly pulled Susan onto Elmo. Rem reached from behind and with his right 
arm strongly encircled her, his hand covering her left breast protectively.
"You're squeezing me to death, Rem." Rem was stronger than he realized and more 
than once Susan had had to tell him to give her breathing room.
Rem eased his grip. "I'm sorry. I just love you so much." He took Lady's reigns 
in his left hand and led her as they rode. "Take Elmo's reigns, Sweetheart," Rem 
said. She did so.
They rode slowly across the grass. The crickets and frogs seemed to harmonize 
with their racket making. Rem said, "Do you remember the night I ended up in the 
barn under Elmo's hooves?"
"How could I forget?"
"That happened because I awoke in the middle of the night and found myself 
remembering everything - everything. I wanted to go to the facility. I 
remembered it, and I wanted to go, and I wanted to see my mother. But I never 
got that far. Four ETs intercepted me at the barn."
"Why?" Susan asked. "Do they interfere in everything we do?"
"They told me it was too soon for me to visit the facility, that I should stay 
away until I became more acclimated to my new life. Well, I don't have to tell 
you that their presence drove the horses wild. I foolishly climbed into Elmo's 
stall and tried to calm him. He seemed to be the wildest of the two. But he 
reared and caught me with his hooves. He was frantic and I couldn't calm him 
down. When I regained consciousness, I once again forgot as quickly as I had 
remembered."
"What happened to you when I found you in the basement that day, Rem? Had you 
been to the facility while I was away at work?" Susan idly stroked Rem's arm. 
Her wedding band felt good on her hand.
"Yes. I didn't remember it at the time, but I recall it clearly now. The ETs 
were angry with me that I had come back to the facility so soon. I don't think 
they wanted me to come back at all. I don't think they ever wanted me to come 
back."
"Maybe they didn't," Susan said wonderingly.
"I must have been upset by them. I'm sure I was, in fact. They're not very good 
with people." He chuckled softly. "I must have panicked and then stumbled home 
and into the basement."
"I remember you saying you loved it down there. Now I think I know why. The 
light was dim and it probably reminded you of where you came from."
"I'm sure that's true," Rem said.
"And the time in Hank's barn when you just sat there and stared? Same thing?"
"Same thing. Hank tried to ease me into this world, and when he told me where I 
came from, my mind shut down."
"But wasn't it a relief to you to realize where you came from?"
"No. I would realize it and then I would panic."
"Why?" Susan asked.
Rem's arm tightened ever so slightly around his new bride. "Because I loved you 
and I was afraid this knowledge would drive you away from me. I couldn't very 
well keep it a secret - especially after we were married. That wouldn't have 
been honest, would it?"
"Oh, God, Rem, I love you so much." Susan sighed in his embrace. "One last 
question."
"Ask."
"Your name. Why did your mother name you Rem? Does it really mean 'Rembrandt'?"
"No. One day when I was not yet named my mother was watching a television 
transmission on dream analysis research. She learned that when we dream, our 
eyes move rapidly under our eyelids. Scientists call this Rapid Eye Movement, or 
REM."
"I still don't..."
Rem laughed. "My mother named me 'Rem' because I was the child of her dreams - 
her dream child." Rem chuckled gently.
Susan slowly let herself slide off Elmo and onto the grass. They were still 
several hundred feet from the house. She reached up and pulled Rem onto the 
grass with her. "I remember now," Susan said. "I remember all of it." She turned 
and looked at the trees behind them.
Rem looked at the trees, then at Susan. "What do you remember, Susan? Tell me," 
he whispered.
"I remember how they would take me in the middle of the night. I always locked 
the door. I always remembered to lock the door. Somehow they would come through 
the door. There were usually five or six of them. They would take me from my bed 
and drug me. Sometimes they would use their cattle prod instead. They would..." 
The words stuck in her throat. She couldn't get them out.
"You don't have to talk about this, Susan. It's finished. You don't have to 
recall it and torture yourself with it."
Susan felt Rem's hand go easily around her waist. "I have to recall it and I 
have to tell you about it." She clutched his arm, as if to find safety there. 
"You want to know, don't you?"
"Yes," he whispered.
"They would carry me across this space from the house to the trees. I can't 
remember what happened then, although they undoubtedly took me through the door 
and into the facility. They would take me in and the tall one would do 
unspeakable things to me and then they would take me out and carry me back 
across this space and..." Her breath was ragged now. She felt herself panic.
"Susan," Rem said. He tightened his embrace. "Susan, this is our space now. It's 
no longer their space. We have taken it back. We can do what we please here 
without fear of them." He let her go and looked into her face. "I will not let 
them hurt you again. Do you believe that? Do you?"
"Yes. Yes, Rem, I believe that."
Rem picked Susan up and held her like a baby. He cuddled her and kissed her 
until she was calm in his arms. Then he ever so carefully laid her down in the 
grass. He touched her softly and she groaned in ecstasy. "Susan," he whispered. 
He slowly rolled Susan onto her back. "This is our space. No one else's. The 
night beasts will never come again."
Susan laced her fingers through his hair and she kissed him full on the mouth. 
Rem cuddled her softly. The horses whinnied low, and slowly grazed away from 
them. They laughed softly as Rem fumbled with Susan's leather pants. Susan 
thought she was going to explode with desire. Then she moaned with joy as Rem, 
her dream child, took her to the stars.
Chapter 18
Life was good for Susan and Rem. After their wedding, Susan went back to her 
teaching position at the college, and she taught calculus with a new vigor. Rem 
began his life of real work. Hank had a friend in Granite Falls who had a 
computer programming business. Not much persuasion was required on Hank's part 
to induce his friend to hire Rem. Rem loved his new work, and it didn't take him 
long to fit into the company.
The owner, Michael Humboldt, liked Rem very much. Michael was forty-seven, 
married and divorced once, and good looking to the point where every divorcee 
and old maid in town wanted him. This kind, unassuming man, took it in stride. 
He dated occasionally, but he had told Rem he didn't have the emotional stomach 
to try marriage again. He considered his marriage a worthwhile experience for as 
long as it had lasted, but he said they had had no children by the bond and he 
desperately wished they would have. The sadness on Michael's face at the telling 
of it made an indelible impact on Rem. He was careful to never bring that sad 
fact up to Michael again.
Rem and Michael quickly became close friends and Michael treated Rem as if he 
had been with Michael's company, 'Humboldt's Programming Solutions,' for years.
***
Jamara had been visiting Susan and Rem with ever increasing frequency. Susan 
didn't know if it was the beings who were allowing more visits or if the 
American Government side of the covert operation was. Maybe both. Susan felt 
deeply for Jamara. Never would Jamara be able to be seen in public. Not only 
would the shock of her appearance be devastating, but her appearance would cause 
suspicion of her origin, and this fact, alone, could put her very life in 
danger. But despite Jamara's alien appearance, Susan loved her, so when Jamara 
would ask to come and visit, Susan would not say no. Lately Susan had been 
asking Hank if he would bring Jamara rather than Jamara asking first.
Susan had left the college early on this particular spring day, and when she 
arrived home, she asked Hank if he would bring Jamara to her. Hank reluctantly 
agreed. It wasn't that he didn't want Jamara to visit, Susan realized. It was 
that he was constantly concerned about Jamara's security.
But Susan was far more concerned about Jamara's emotional well being. Jamara 
hungered for a normal life with humans. Now that she was tasting the world 
outside the government facility - the world above - her half human nature was 
tearing her into pieces.
Now they were in Susan and Rem's bedroom and Jamara was standing in front of the 
full length mirror that was fastened to the back of the bedroom door. Susan was 
instantly saddened. She thought back to the time Rem was waiting for her to 
dress in her "riding clothes," when she had dressed in black suede boots, tight 
black leather pants, and black leather shirt. She had looked beautiful and she 
preened in front of the mirror as if she were a rock star. Now here was Jamara 
staring at herself. Her eyes, bulging from her face like the faceted eyes of an 
insect. Her long atrophied-appearing arms with four-fingered hands drooping at 
her sides. Her barrel chest heaving in and out like an accordian bellows. Jamara 
was the antithesis of Susan. Where Susan was beautiful, Jamara was ugly. Where 
Susan was whole, Jamara was a mismatched freak of nature: part alien and 
horrible, part human and beautiful.
Jamara turned to Susan, and even though Jamara's hideous face was almost 
incapable of expression, Susan saw a profound sadness that made her reach for 
Jamara and hold her in her arms. Jamara's huge head rolled back and forth 
against Susan's shoulder. "I don't want to live anymore, Susan. I can't continue 
like this. I don't want to live anymore.
Susan felt tears on her shirt. "Shhh, Jamara. Please don't talk like this. 
Please don't."
Jamara pushed herself away from Susan. "I shouldn't have come here today. When 
I'm in the facility, I can't wait to come, but when I'm here I want to die."
"Rem will be home soon, Jamara. Rem will make you feel better."
Susan felt Jamara's hand tremble against her, Jamara's black eyes widening like 
a cat's eyes.
"Sometimes I wake in the night and dream about that place," Susan said. I'd like 
to destroy that place and everyone in it."
"Don't talk like that, Susan. Humans work there. Partly human hybrids like me 
work and live there."
"I know," Susan said softly. "There are many lives in that facility. It's just 
that..."
"You wished I wasn't this way," Jamara finished, her huge eyes appearing to 
stare simply because they were too large for her face.
"I wish you could go wherever you please and do whatever you please, Jamara."
"You're worrying about me." Jamara's head moved jerkily, as if it were mounted 
on the end of a Popsicle stick.
"Yes." Susan looked into Jamara's face. "I'm worried about you. You're so 
depressed and I'm worried about you."
Jamara turned and stared out the window. "Rem can't make me feel better," she 
whispered. He's a human." She looked at Susan. "You're a human. I'm not human. 
I'm half human. The other half of me is constructed from the DNA of a species 
that has imprisoned me in my own freakish body." She began to cry again.
Susan started. A car was coming up the driveway! It was too early for Rem to be 
coming home. Brian was still on duty at the college. Hank and Charlotte usually 
rode one of their horses across Susan's property rather than drive their pick-up 
truck. Susan's sister worked until six every night. She never came by before 
then. These thoughts plunged through her mind, her mind ticking off this 
possibility, then that possibility.
Jamara's eyes opened wide at the sound. Susan panicked. If anyone should see 
Jamara--
Susan went to the window. "It's Rem. And his boss has followed him into the 
driveway! Quick, Jamara! We have to put you in the cellar!"
Like two wild women, they struggled down the stairs. "Thor," Susan called. Thor 
bounded down the steps behind them. "Thor, I want you to keep Jamara company. 
Will you do that for me?" she said hurriedly. Susan leaned down and Thor licked 
her face.
Jamara took Thor by the collar, sat down under the stairway and gently pulled 
the big dog onto her lap. "We'll be all right, Susan."
"I feel terrible leaving you down..."
"Go," Jamara whispered. "Go upstairs to the world. Your husband won't know where 
you are unless you go up to greet him."
Chapter 19
Susan made it up the cellar steps to the door just as Rem and Michael came 
through it. "Michael, how nice to see you?" she said, her voice strained and out 
of breath.
"Sorry, Susan, to drop in on you like this, but I wanted to be here when Rem 
tells you."
"Tells me what?" Susan asked. She looked at Rem. She could tell from the look on 
Rem's face that he already sensed Jamara was somewhere in the house. "Come into 
the living room," Susan said. "Michael, would you like something to drink? Maybe 
a soda? There's still some coffee in the coffee pot."
Michael put his hands up. "No, no, Susan. I'm not going to stay long. I just 
told Rem I wanted to follow him out here so I could be here when he tells you."
Susan nearly fell into the couch. She was emotionally exhausted. She wanted 
Michael to leave. Jamara was hiding like a pursued animal in the cellar, an 
outcast of the human world, and Susan wanted Michael to go away.
"Tell her," Michael urged, looking over at Rem and beaming as he said it.
Rem looked at Susan. "Michael is making me a full partner in the firm."
Susan put her hand to her mouth in genuine surprise. "You're kidding."
"No, Susan," Michael said. "Rem's not kidding. I've been looking for someone 
like Rem for a very long time. You know how much I think of Rem. You know how 
much I think of you both."
"Yes...well..." Susan smiled at Rem. "Congratulations, Honey." She kissed him 
quickly, shyly in front of Michael. Then she squeezed his wrist, hard. His quick 
look told her that he realized they had to get Michael out of the house.
Suddenly from the cellar Thor began whimpering furiously. Michael jerked his 
head up at the sound. Then he looked at the floor. "Is that Thor making that 
kind of racket?"
"Yes," Rem said. He sprang from his chair and headed for the cellar door. Susan 
was on his heels.
"Something's wrong!" Susan heard Michael shout from behind her, but she didn't 
wait for him to say more. She and Rem were scrambling over each other, almost 
falling down the narrow stairway as they tried to get into the cellar.
"No!" Rem shouted. "No, Mother, please don't!"
Jamara was sitting on the floor and she had a huge butcher's knife in her hands. 
It was the knife Susan used when she would cut up vegetables for canning. Jamara 
had the blade poised above her own chest and she was about to plunge it into 
herself. Thor had the sleeve of Jamara's shirt in his mouth and he was furiously 
trying to pull the knife away from her.
With a desperate lunge, Rem grabbed both of Jamara's wrists and pulled them out 
and away. The knife clattered from her fingers onto the dirty concrete floor. 
Rem put his arms around Jamara and held her tightly. "What are you doing, 
Mother? What in the hell are you doing?" he sobbed.
Susan felt a presence at her shoulder. She looked up at Michael. She saw the 
expression of shock and fear as he looked at Jamara. "Rem!" Susan screamed as 
Michael's legs buckled beneath him.
With a heave of strength Rem barely managed to keep Michael from collapsing onto 
the unyielding concrete floor. "I've got to get him out of here," he said.
"I'll stay with your mother. Just get Michael upstairs."
Although Rem was strong, he struggled to get Michael up the steps. Michael had 
regained consciousness halfway up the steps, but he was confused and 
uncoordinated. "Don't fight me, Michael," Rem said. "Don't fight me."
When the door slammed shut at the top of the stairs, Susan turned to Jamara. 
"What were you doing?" she whispered. "What were you doing, Jamara?" Susan felt 
tears burst from her eyes. She wiped them with her sleeve. Jamara sank into 
Susan's arms and wept quietly.
Through the floor Susan could hear Rem and Michael talking. Michael's voice 
would rise to a frantic pitch. Then she would hear Rem calm him. Then it would 
rise again, shouting, demanding to know what was going on. Then Rem would calm 
him again.
Now Rem came down the stairs. "Susan, I want you to drive Michael home. He's in 
no condition to drive himself. I'm going to take Mother back to the facility. 
Then I'll come and get you from Michael's house. Do you think you can avoid 
answering any of his questions?"
"I'll do what I can," Susan said. She kissed Jamara's gaunt face. "We'll talk 
about this, Jamara. Please tell me you won't do anything foolish until you and I 
have had a chance to talk about this."
"I won't," Jamara whispered. "I won't do anything until you and I talk again. I 
will keep myself alive until we talk again." Jamara looked especially monstrous 
under the glare of the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. "I'm so sad, 
Susan."
"I know you are, Jamara. We'll work this out somehow. I know we will." What was 
Susan saying? She didn't even know why she made such an empty promise.
Susan went up the steps and found Michael sitting on a kitchen chair. Eyes fixed 
and unfocused, he was staring into space. Susan went to him and put her arms 
around him. She helped him to his feet. "Come, Michael. I'll take you home."
Michael stood with Susan's help. He blinked once, looked at her, and like a 
trusting sheep followed her into his car.
"Do you have the keys?" Susan put out her hand. Michael fumbled for the keys in 
his pocket, then pulled them out and put the keys into Susan's hand. It was only 
5:30 in the afternoon, and although it was early spring, it was still fairly 
light out. How had she managed to talk Hank into bringing Jamara to her when the 
light of day was no protection to Jamara? She shuddered to think what the 
consequences would have been if someone would have seen them as Hank was 
bringing Jamara across Susan's property. But the light was fading. She hoped 
that it would soon be dark enough for Rem to take Jamara safely back to the 
government facility without being seen.
Susan twisted the key in the ignition and headed for Granite Falls. Michael said 
nothing as they drove down the highway and into town. When she pulled into 
Michael's driveway, Michael got out of the car. "Well, thank you for bringing me 
home, Susan. Goodbye." He began to walk away from her.
"Wait, Michael." Susan got out of the car. "I brought you home with your car. I 
have to wait for Rem to come and get me," she explained as if he were a child. 
"May I wait in your house until he comes?"
Michael looked at Susan as if he didn't quite understand what Susan had just 
said. "Uh...uh, sure. Come in the house," he said distractedly.
Susan handed Michael his keys. Michael looked at the key chain dangling from his 
fingers. "Do you have your house key on the chain, Michael?" Susan asked. She 
was beginning to worry for him now.
He held one key up and handed it to her along with the rest of the chain. "This 
is the key to the door."
"Would you like me to open your door?" she asked patiently.
"Yes, please."
Susan went to the door, unlocked it, then let Michael walk in ahead of her. She 
laid the keys down on the kitchen table. Now she was sure the questions would 
start, and she had no idea how she was going to explain what Michael had just 
seen.
Michael went to the refrigerator and opened the door. "Would you like a beer, 
Susan?" He turned and smiled accommodatingly.
"No thank you. I'm not thirsty." He hadn't remembered she didn't drink alcohol, 
nor had she ever told him of her battle with it. She sat very still, hoping 
against hope that Michael would not ask her any questions.
He took a beer from the refrigerator shelf, then sat down at the table with 
Susan. "So," he said as he popped the beer open, "how have you been?"
"I've been fine. How have you been?" She studied him closely.
"Oh, I've been busy with the business. Did Rem tell you I'm going to make him a 
partner in the business?"
"Uh...yes, he mentioned that not too long ago. I think that's very nice."
They sat like that, Michael sipping his beer and making pleasant small talk, all 
the while his eyes betraying his confusion and fear. When Rem finally came to 
get Susan, Michael asked no questions of Rem. He simply bade them both good 
night. As they pulled out of the driveway, they saw the lights go off in the 
house. Susan didn't know if Michael was simply going to bed, or if he was 
sitting in the dark, terrified.
"What were you thinking of, Susan?" Rem barked when he headed the car for home. 
He hadn't been driving long since he had no opportunity to learn when he lived 
in the government facility, but he had caught on quickly, and ordinarily Susan 
had confidence in his driving. But now he was wild - reckless.
"Watch the road, Sweetheart," Susan said. "Please watch the road."
Rem pulled the car onto the shoulder and stopped. He turned to her. "What have 
you done? Stop and think what you've done," he said harshly.
Susan put her hands over her face. "I can't talk about this, now, Rem. I can't 
talk about this."
"Fine," he said, teeth clenched. He gripped the wheel and punched down on the 
accelerator. Susan felt dismal and alone as Rem drove them home.
Chapter 20
He hadn't made his peace with Susan. They had gone to bed angry with each other. 
Rem tossed and turned, the horrible image playing through his mind over and over 
of his mother holding the knife above her chest, ready to end her life. He would 
fall asleep, then awaken fitfully. Now he was aware of his dear wife next to 
him. He suspected she was awake, too. Her breathing was not steady and deep like 
that of someone who was in a deep sleep. "Are you awake?" Rem asked quietly.
"Yes," she murmured.
"I'm so sorry, Susan."
"I know," she said. She felt his hand in her hair. She loved it so much when he 
did that.
Rem sat up and felt for Thor sleeping at the foot of the bed. "Thank you, Thor, 
for saving my mother's life."
Thor snuffed and stirred, then went back to sleep.
Susan rolled into Rem. "Your mother is so depressed, Honey. I came home early 
from work with the full intention of asking Hank to bring her to me. I love her 
so much. I want to take her suffering from her, but it seems as if I've made it 
infinitely worse."
"You haven't made it worse. It's the world she can never be part of that has 
made it worse. We want her to be with us more and more. It's only natural to 
want that for her and for us." He sighed. "And I don't know how to solve this 
problem."
"What did you think of your mother when you were old enough to see she was 
different from others?"
Rem chuckled. "She wasn't different from others. Remember, I grew up with alien 
hybrids as well as the pure human government scientists. There were various 
degrees of human characteristics in everyone I knew. The fact that my mother was 
half human and half alien was of no consequence to me whatsoever."
"There has to be a way to help her, Rem. Now that she's part of both our lives, 
we can't stop bringing her home. We can't leave her in the facility to die of a 
broken heart."
"We could visit her in the facility instead of bringing her here. I know that's 
distasteful to you, but it's a solution."
"It's no solution, Rem. Jamara has tasted this world above and she wants more. 
She won't get it if we restrict her to us visiting her in the facility. And, 
yes, you're dead right when you say it would be distasteful for me to go back to 
that government hell hole, but I would do it for Jamara if I thought it would do 
any good. But it won't. You know it won't."
***
"Rem, would you come into my office, please?"
Rem had been trying to avoid Michael all morning. "Sure." Rem followed Michael 
into Michael's glassed in office and sat down. "What's up?" Rem asked in what he 
knew to be a thinly disguised attempt to be casual.
Michael looked out through the glass and said, "This isn't going to do. Your 
office is more private." He got up and held the door open for Rem. For the first 
time since Rem had begun working for Michael, he felt nervous. Michael had made 
Rem feel so comfortable on even the first day of work that Rem was sure he would 
never feel uncomfortable around Michael. But this little talk wasn't going to be 
about work. Of that Rem was sure of. This was going to be about his mother. It 
had been a week since Michael had seen Jamara and through that whole time he had 
asked Rem nothing. He acted as if the incident hadn't even taken place. But 
now...
Michael closed the door behind them. Rem sat in his own leather chair and 
Michael sat on a visitor's chair, on the edge of the seat as if he was going to 
run at any moment. Michael began, "I have the papers drawn up for our 
partnership. I would like us to sign them today."
"Fine," Rem said. Silence fell like death between them.
"Yes, well..." Michael cleared his throat. "I want to talk to you about 
something, but I don't know how to begin."
Rem leaned back against his chair. The leather felt cold against the backs of 
his arms. "Just begin," he said. Michael had seemed like a father to Rem. Now 
Rem felt like the wise, counseling father.
Michael took a breath, then said, "During this past week I've had horrible 
dreams, Rem. I've been waking up in a cold sweat every single night. It's nights 
like these that I truly wish I had remarried. It's a long haul when you are 
alone in your bed in the middle of the night."
"I'm sure it is," Rem murmured in reply.
Michael looked directly into Rem's eyes. "It wasn't a dream, was it?"
Rem hesitated, then knew what he had to say. "No," he whispered. "It wasn't."
The color drained from Michael's face. "I knew it. I knew it was real but it was 
so shocking that my mind wouldn't accept it."
Rem leaned forward as if to stop Michael from falling off the edge of the chair. 
"Michael, I..."
Michael put up his hand to interrupt Rem. "No, I'm not asking you about this 
because I want to put you on the spot. I'm bringing it up because, first, I had 
to have confirmation from you that what I saw was real. And second, I wanted to 
apologize for my behavior."
"Your behavior?"
Michael smiled slightly. "I'm raised better than that, Rem. It must have been 
horrible for her to have me collapse at the sight of her."
"Michael, she's my mother. I know she appears hideous to you, but I think of her 
and love her as if she were my real mother."
Michael began fiddling with a pencil lying on Rem's desk. "Yeah...yeah, I 
remember you calling her that. I don't...I don't understand." Michael looked 
pleadingly at Rem. "Help me understand."
"I can't, Michael. If I would, it could put her life in great danger."
"Oh...oh, I see. Well, then, I guess this will have to remain a mystery between 
us, won't it?" His face had the look of a street beggar's.
"Maybe I should resign, Michael. This will always be here, haunting you. That's 
not a very good way to begin a partnership, business-wise or otherwise."
"Don't be ridiculous. This incident has nothing to do with our partnership. And 
if you think it does, you don't know me nearly as well as I thought you did."
"I'm sorry, Michael. I didn't mean to insult you." Rem felt bad now. He felt bad 
for not trusting the man who gave him a chance and whom he had become so close 
to in just a few months."
"I want to see her, Rem," Michael said abruptly.
Rem sat bolt upright. "What?" He felt his pulse quicken.
"I want to see your mother. I don't want to see her because I'm curious. I want 
to see her because I want to make amends for collapsing in front of her like a 
gibbering chunk of Jello."
"That wouldn't be a good idea, Michael." This was turning in a direction he 
hadn't expected.
"If you keep your mother down in that cellar, you are going to have big trouble 
from me. That's no place for her to live. But I know you, Rem. You wouldn't do 
that to her."
"No matter how hideous she might be?" Rem asked sarcastically.
"I didn't say that, Rem. You said that."
"Sorry, Michael."
"Your mother," Michael continued, "was upstairs when I unexpectedly paid a 
visit. Susan hid your mother in the cellar when she saw me coming. Am I 
correct?"
Rem sighed. "You're correct."
"It took me a week to process all this, Rem. This is not an everyday 
occurrence."
Michael was hurt by Rem's attitude toward him. Rem knew it now, and he felt bad 
for pushing Michael into this state.
"Rem, I've never told you this. My father had polio as a child. He was a good 
looking man, but people stared at him when he walked. It made me so sad when 
they did that. My dad would just shrug it off. He'd say he had developed a thick 
skin over the years and that it didn't bother him a bit. But it did, Rem. Every 
person who stared at him hurt him. They weren't trying to make him 
uncomfortable. They stared because he was different. And now I'm doing the same 
thing to your mother."
Rem knew Michael's blinking eyes were a vain attempt to fight back tears.
***
"I have to hide!"
"No, Mother. Michael is a good man. I've told you that and you've agreed to this 
meeting."
Jamara stood glued to the floor, her huge eyes belying her fear. Rem took her 
hand. "You'll like him, Mother."
Susan went to the door. Her heart was hammering in her chest. They had dimmed 
the lights in the living room to make Jamara feel more comfortable. But Susan 
was uncomfortable, and she knew Rem was as well. As for Jamara - Jamara was 
terrified.
When Susan led Michael into the living room, he entered quietly - respectfully. 
Rem was now sitting next to his mother on the couch and he had his arm around 
her.
"Hello," Michael said. He dipped his head like a curtsy.
"Hello, Michael," Rem said. "Glad you could come tonight."
"Yes...well..."
"Michael, this is my mother, Jamara."
"Hello, Jamara," Michael said warmly.
"Hello," she said. Rem could feel her thin limbs tremble against him.
Michael sat down across from them. Susan sat in a chair next to Michael.
"Rem has told me so much about you, Jamara. He loves you very much."
In the dim lighting Rem couldn't tell if Michael was shocked at his mother's 
appearance. He was sure he was, but he had to give him credit for hiding it 
well.
***
Michael saw Jamara numerous times during the spring. As they became more 
comfortable with each other, the lights became brighter until at last Jamara's 
appearance was totally revealed to Michael. At times Rem and Susan would leave 
the two of them talking in private as they saddled up the horses and went 
riding. Michael knew where to take Jamara if they should be surprised by 
unexpected company, but fortunately he never had to subject her to the cellar.
"I think we've done a terrible thing, Rem." Susan passed Rem the plate of fried 
eggs. It was a beautiful Monday morning. Michael had just visited Jamara the 
night before.
"I'm afraid so," Rem said.
Rem went to work, trying not to think about how he had snarled up his mother's 
life. He went into his office and closed the door. He dialed Michael's 
secretary. "Patty, would you please ask Michael to come see me when he has a 
minute?"
"I'd be happy to, but he hasn't come in yet."
"Oh, really? That's odd. Usually Michael is so prompt. He's always the first one 
here in the morning."
"I know. I'll let him know you want to see him."
"Thanks." Rem hung up the phone, then on a hunch went looking for Michael. Since 
they always seemed to talk over their biggest ideas in the men's restroom, Rem 
went there first.
He opened the door and immediately sensed Michael was there. "Hey, Michael, I 
want to talk to you. No big ideas today," he said to no one he could see. "I 
just want to discuss something with you...okay?"
Silence.
"Hey, you in here?"
He heard someone sobbing. "Michael, hey, is that you?"
A stall door slowly swung open. "It's me," Michael said wearily.
Michael had been crying, but Rem didn't want to embarrass him by acknowledging 
it. "My office is private," Rem reminded Michael.
"Yeah." Michael quickly swabbed his face with his shirt sleeve and they walked 
quickly to Rem's office.
When the door closed, Michael said, "What am I going to do, Rem? You know I've 
fallen in love with your mother, don't you?"
Chapter 21
Rem knew this was coming. He had worried about it for days. "Yes," Rem said. 
"Yes, I know you love my mother very much. Susan and I have talked about what 
the next step might be."
"I don't know what to do, Rem."
Rem sucked in his breath. "Michael, you are either the most courageous person 
I've ever known, or else you have ulterior motives I can't even begin to 
understand."
"It's neither of those things, Rem. Jamara and I have a deep kindred for each 
other. If I were a normal human being with normal fears and emotions I would be 
repulsed by her. But I'm not. I loved your mother almost immediately. It seems 
as if...as if I've always loved her. I will admit that when I saw her in your 
cellar that first time, I behaved very badly. But when I had some time to 
prepare myself, to accept what I had seen that first time, to steal myself 
against her outward appearance, I felt a closeness to her you can't possibly 
even begin to understand.
Michael looked worn and haggard, as if he hadn't slept for days. Rem thought he 
probably hadn't. "Has Mother told you anything about why she is the way she is?"
"No. Your mother has kept her past from me." But it doesn't matter, Rem. It 
doesn't matter how she got the way she is. I don't care about that. I really 
don't. I just know I love her deeply and now I don't know what to do."
"I don't either, Michael." Rem felt like the bottom had just dropped out of his 
stomach.
***
The telephone call came in the middle of the night. It was Hank. In a flurry of 
words he explained that Jamara had attempted suicide in the facility.
"We'll meet you at the grove, Hank! Please wait for us!" Susan shook Rem awake. 
"It's your mother! She's in trouble!"
They threw on their clothes and ran to the barn. They didn't bother to saddle 
Elmo and Lady. They simply jumped on their backs and rode at a breakneck gallop 
to the grove. Hank was already there, waving them to him with his flashlight.
"Oh God, oh God," Rem moaned.
"She's alive, Rem. She's stable and alive," Hank said.
Susan choked down her fear as they made their way to the grove: to the entrance 
of the facility. "Stop here," Hank ordered.
They dismounted and tied their horses to a tree branch. Then Hank opened the 
door that was cleverly embedded in the trunk of the huge oak. It opened quietly. 
Soft lights were glowing within. A chill swept through Susan. They hurried down 
the short stairway to the landing below. Then they scrambled down the rest of 
the stairs into the complex.
"Mind your manners in here, Susan," Hank said. "We can't afford for you to get 
angry like when you were in here the first time. It's a real break in protocol 
for them to have summoned us to see her, so let's not push their buttons."
"I won't cause any trouble," Susan said. What did Hank mean when he talked of 
'them', Susan wondered? Was Hank referring to the government scientists who 
worked down here? Or was he referring to the aliens who permanently lived in 
this facility? And then she realized it didn't matter. What mattered was Jamara.
"This way," Hank said.
Susan was quite sure Rem had at least a general idea of where they were going. 
He gripped Susan's arm tightly and nearly dragged her down the corridor.
"In here." Hank indicated the doorway they were to go into. They came into a 
room that looked very much like a normal hospital room. There were both humans 
and aliens standing around Jamara's still form lying on a bed. She was on a 
ventilator and there were two IVs in her arms and one in her ankle. The scene 
looked for all the world like any hospital life and death struggle might look in 
the world above them.
Rem went to his mother's side. An alien, eyes glaring from his pear-shaped head, 
turned from the instrument he was holding and looked at Rem as Rem stood 
gripping the bed rail. Rem put his head in his hands. "Oh God, dear God," he 
said in anguish. The alien turned back to the instrument he was monitoring, 
seemingly unmoved by Jamara's or even Rem's plight.
"Can anyone tell us what's going on?" Rem asked. "Please. Can anyone tell us how 
my mother is?"
A human doctor from the other side of the bed looked up. "She's stable for now. 
It's taken all the medical knowledge of this advanced race to bring her back 
from the edge of death. We are about to witness a miracle. The medication should 
bring her to full consciousness shortly."
"What happened?" Susan asked.
The doctor looked at Susan. "She tried to kill herself," the doctor said 
matter-of-fact. She got into one of the labs and ingested a fair amount of 
deadly chemicals. When someone found her she was already clinically dead."
Rem began to sway on his feet, but Susan grabbed his arm while Hank grabbed 
Rem's other arm. "It's alright, Rem. She's alive. They brought her back," Hank 
said soothingly.
"Yes," the doctor said. "She's alive. We barely got to her in time."
"Will there be brain damage?" Rem choked.
"There would be were it not for the highly advanced medicine I'm practicing down 
here. It will be more than two hundred years before we are practicing this kind 
of medicine topside."
Susan wanted to appreciate what the doctor was saying. She wanted to believe 
that the doctor was doing a noble thing by working hand in hand with the ETs, 
but she couldn't bring herself to do that. Not after the years of misery the 
beings had given her. Not after the beings had deliberately reconstructed Jamara 
into a caricature of the kind of monster one would see in a low budget science 
fiction film. She almost wished Jamara would have succeeded in her suicide 
attempt so she could have escaped from the horrible life she had been dealt by 
these emotionless, uncaring beings.
Susan stood by the bed, an alien worker on each side of her. These beings didn't 
intimidate her anymore. She was frantic for Jamara, but at the same time she 
felt good in standing between these two night beasts. The light, dim as it was, 
stripped away the fear that had plagued her most of her life. These "beasts" 
were merely organic beings like herself. They were made of flesh and probably 
bone, just like her.
"Where am I?"
"Mother!" Rem said. He took her left hand in his and he caressed her four 
fingers.
"Rem?" She turned her huge head and looked at them. "Susan? Hank? What have I 
done?"
"Mother," Rem whispered, "you tried to hurt yourself." There were tears in his 
voice. Susan put her arm across his back to comfort him. "Why did you do that, 
Mother?" His body began to convulse with sobs.
"I...I can't live anymore, Rem. It's time for me to go," she said sadly.
Rem looked into her face. "I don't want you to go, Mother. I love you. I need 
you."
Jamara looked at Susan. "Susan is here to take care of you, Rem. I'm no longer 
needed."
"No!" Rem said. "Please don't die!"
Susan reached down and cradled Jamara's head in her hands, then kissed Jamara on 
her pale cheek. "Please don't leave us, Jamara," she said tenderly. "Please 
don't leave us."
"Jamara," Hank said, "do you love Michael? Is this why you have tried to end 
your life?"
Jamara's lidless eyes seemed to flicker like a Christmas tree ornament in the 
glow of colored lights. "Yes," she said. "Yes, I love Michael and I will never 
be able to have him." Again Jamara looked at Susan. "You understand, don't you 
Susan?"
"Yes," Susan answered. "I understand."
Jamara fixed her bulging eyes on one of the doctors standing by. "You will not 
be able to stop me from killing myself. When your backs are turned, I will find 
a way to end my life. If you restrain me so I can't end my life quickly, I will 
refuse to eat. If you keep me alive by artificial means, it will break my heart. 
And then I will have succeeded, because if my heart is broken, all of me is 
broken. I have tasted the world above and I have fallen in love with a human. I 
can have neither. Death is the only way for me."
The doctor looked over at Rem. "I would like to speak to all of you in private."
Rem looked at Susan, then at Hank.
"This way, please." Before the doctor lead them into the next room, Rem kissed 
his mother and whispered encouragement to her.
They entered a small room next to Jamara's. Then he quietly closed the door 
behind him. The room was bare except for a small table and five chairs. The 
light source was dim and diffused, and Susan wasn't sure where the light source 
was located. Through all her years of abduction and terror, she had never 
determined the location or nature of the light source.
"Sit down, please."
They all sat.
The doctor was probably sixty-two or sixty-three years old, Susan guessed, and 
he appeared to be in a state of alert exhaustion. He squirmed slightly in his 
chair in order to seat himself comfortably, then looked squarely at Rem. "Rem, 
there is a way I can help your mother, but it's very much a long shot. There are 
no guarantees."
Rem took Susan's hand and held it. "What do you mean?"
"Remember, I told you I'm practicing a very advanced form of medicine down here. 
This means I can do things you wouldn't even begin to believe. I know you have 
lived most of your life in this facility, but you were never allowed to see the 
advanced things we do here. It was understood that one day you would be allowed 
to continue your life on the surface, so it was necessary to shield you from the 
miracles we have to offer because we didn't want you to tell the world what we 
do."
"But what can you do for my mother, Doctor?"
The doctor squinched his eyes, held them closed for a full second, then opened 
them. "I can start a process in motion that will change your mother from the 
hybrid she now is to that of a complete, normal human being."
Chapter 22
Rem felt the world shift on its axis. "H...how? How can...?" Rem stammered.
Susan said, "Doctor, this had better not be a cruel joke."
"Listen to the man, Susan," Hank said. "The miracles that take place down here 
are beyond belief. That's why it's fascinating to work here. With all the 
cruelty of the ETs, the work done here far outweighs all that."
At that very instant Susan wanted to slap Hank. She wanted to slap him hard. But 
Jamara needed all the help she could get. The least Susan could do, she 
realized, was keep her mouth shut, if even for only a few minutes.
"How would you go about this?" Rem asked. "And why did you leave my mother in 
this state if you knew how to reverse it? What in the hell are you talking 
about?!" Rem suddenly stood up and grabbed the doctor by the front of his coat. 
With a burst of anger Susan had never seen from Rem, Rem yanked the doctor out 
of his chair.
Hank and Susan, together, grabbed Rem's hands and pulled them off the doctor. 
"Stop it, Rem," Hank said angrily. "Just the hell stop it."
Rem slumped into his chair. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry."
The doctor again sat down. He briefly composed himself, then said, "Rem, I 
understand your anger, but now I'm giving your mother a way out. Before I 
propose this to her, I want you to know all the facts so you can decide if you 
want to risk her life. And if at first she doesn't think this is a good idea, 
the more you know, the more convincing a case you can make to her."
Hank asked, "What is the underlying principle here? How can you make a whole 
human being from someone who's DNA has been so severely manipulated?"
"The principle is quite simple, once you know the initial circumstances. You 
see, when Jamara was brought to us, she was fully human. Actually, she was a 
human fetus." The doctor blinked at his saying of the word 'fetus.' "She was 
injected with alien DNA to make her a crossbreed being in the hope that the 
alien DNA would give her superior attributes."
"And...?" Susan asked, acid in her tone.
"And," the doctor continued, "her original DNA is still in this facility."
Susan felt Rem ready to burst from his chair again. She gently took his hand and 
held it lovingly. He sighed once and looked at her. She could feel him relax 
against her. "Tell us more," Susan said.
"Well..." The doctor cleared his throat, then began again, "Well, through a 
series of carefully planned injections we can replace the alien DNA with her 
original DNA. It's considerably more complicated than that, but the actual 
execution of the process is a series of injections."
"How long would it take before my mother is fully human?"
"Approximately three weeks."
Rem leaned forward on his chair in disbelief. "Are you telling me that my mother 
will be completely transformed to a human being in only three weeks?"
"That's what I'm saying. But it will be extremely painful. Accompanying the DNA 
injections will be growth accelerators that will change her right before your 
eyes. Pain is unavoidable. Even with the advanced pain medicine she will be 
given, the pain will, at times, be unbearable for her."
"Where would this be done?" Rem asked. "Here, I suppose."
"No. It would be extremely dangerous to do the procedure here."
"But this is the place where it should be done. You have the equipment and the 
personnel to make sure she gets the best of care." Rem looked with alarm at 
Susan.
The doctor smiled. "I understand your concern, Rem, but there is a sound reason 
we can't do the procedure here." The doctor gave Hank a knowing look. "We are 
forbidden to do this kind of procedure in this facility. The purpose of this 
complex is to make new discoveries through the gift of the advanced technology 
the ETs have so kindly given us." The doctor smiled serenely. Now it was Rem's 
turn to keep Susan in her chair. The doctor ignored Susan's outward display of 
anger and continued, "When Jamara was in the fetal stage of her life the other 
scientists with the astute guidance of the ETs removed specific components of 
her human DNA and replaced it with Zeta DNA."
Susan's head snapped up. "Why do you call them 'Zeta'?"
"Because they come from the Zeta-Reticuli star cluster. 'ET', meaning 'extra 
terrestrial', is a generic term the Zeta don't care for. 'Zeta' is the term they 
prefer since it is specific to their race." The doctor looked at Hank, then Rem. 
"Haven't either of you already explained this to Susan?"
Rem said, "Susan doesn't want to talk or hear about this facility or the beings 
who inhabit it. I'm sure you understand given the many abductions she's 
suffered."
The doctor cleared his throat as if he almost felt guilty. "Yes, of course." He 
smiled encouragingly at Susan. "Perhaps we can partially right the huge wrong 
done to you by restoring Jamara to her human self."
"But we don't know how to do that," Susan said. "We are not medical people. Even 
Hank, for all his knowledge about this place, isn't medically trained."
"True, you three aren't. However, Brian is a physician's assistant. He's very 
knowledgeable and he has a cool head. He can carry off the procedure if the rest 
of you help him."
"But..."
"Look," the doctor interrupted, irritation rising in his voice, "the procedure 
can't be done here. We change the DNA of humans to Zeta, but not Zeta to human."
"What?!" Susan shot a killing look at Hank.
"Hank," the doctor said, frustration in his tone, "you know the policy on this."
Hank turned to both Susan and Rem. "I'm afraid I do. Susan, the doctor is trying 
to explain that the Zeta take a very dim view if we alter a hybrid to humanness. 
After all, that's why this facility exists. We are to try to engineer a new 
human with the help of the Zeta DNA. This is why the procedure can't be 
performed in this facility: it runs counter to why it exists. This procedure 
will have to be done without the Zeta's knowledge."
Susan sat back in her chair. "Well, maestros, there are two things wrong with 
this plan. First, since the Zeta are strong telepaths, they are, no doubt, 
monitoring this whole conversation. The chances of us even getting Jamara out of 
the facility is impossible, now. And second, suppose this works? How will you 
explain Jamara's permanent absence from this place once she is fully human?" 
Susan looked at the drab walls. Suddenly she was no longer impressed by the high 
science she knew existed here.
"These are two very valid points, Susan," the doctor said patiently. Your first 
point is well taken, but you needn't worry about the Zetas' telepathic talents. 
They telepath well if they are directly engaged in conversation with you, but if 
they can't see you, they can't telepath. They don't know what we are saying or 
planning in this room. And they are so egotistical about their power over us, 
they don't bother to monitor us electronically. So rest assured that our 
conversation is private. Your second point could be more serious except that I 
don't believe the Zeta will make an issue of it once the procedure is completed. 
They certainly aren't going to send assassins after Jamara. Then they would have 
a murder wrap on their hands. And even though they are safe from prosecution in 
this facility, let alone the fact that most people don't even believe the Zeta 
exist, they will still prefer to leave the issue alone. They are already 
concerned that too much information about their dealings has leaked out to the 
world."
Susan clutched Rem's hand tightly now. "Rem, you've been very quiet."
"I just want my mother to live. Whatever it takes, let's just stop talking about 
it and do it.
* * *
Rem was riding Elmo with Susan sitting behind him, and Michael was riding Lady. 
It was a beautiful evening. The sky was clear, the quarter moon was on the 
horizon, and the stars popped from the black sky like jewels dripping from a 
tierra. "I wish Jamara was with us," Michael said. There was deep sadness in his 
voice. They had not yet told him that Jamara had tried to end her life in the 
facility.
"Yes," Rem said. "Mother loves to ride Lady."
"Helooo," a voice called from across the pasture.
"Hello, Hank," Rem called back.
"Hello, Michael," Hank said in greeting, as he guided his horse up to them.
"Nice to see you, Hank." There was a pause. Then Michael said, "These two won't 
tell me what this is all about."
"You'll know soon," Hank said.
Susan looked up at the sound of an approaching car. She had her arms wrapped 
tightly around Rem. He smelled good. She felt safe. "I hear a car coming up our 
driveway. It must be Brian."
* * *
"Michael, why do you think Jamara looks the way she does?" They were gathered 
around the kitchen table and Hank was taking charge of the discussion.
"I...I don't even want to speculate," Michael stammered.
Hank said, "Of course you want to speculate. In fact, you and I have been 
friends so long that I'm sure you've already formed your own theories." Hank 
looked at Michael expectantly, his look demanding an answer. "So tell me your 
best theory."
Michael looked at them all uncomfortably. "You'll all think I'm..."
"Say it," Hank pressed. "Say it before you lose your nerve."
"She looks like an alien," burst from Michael's lips. "Like one of those beings 
you see on cable TV." He expelled it in a chuff, as if he had been waiting to 
say it for weeks. Susan thought he probably had.
Chapter 23
Hank laid out the plan to them. "Since we can't risk this procedure on 
government property, we have to do it somewhere else; somewhere remote."
"Let's do it right here," Michael said. "Right here in the house. It would be a 
comfortable, familiar place for Jamara."
"We can't do it here," Hank said. "Susan has family close by who often drop in 
unexpected. This will be stressful enough for Jamara without adding an extra 
element of danger." Hank smiled at his long-time friend. "But once Jamara has 
been transformed, she will no longer have to hide herself from the world. You 
can exist as normal people in human society."
Michael closed his eyes and put his head down. Susan knew he was trying hide his 
tears from them. "Then where can we do it?" Susan asked.
Hank unfolded a hand drawn map and spread it out on the kitchen table. "Here." 
He pointed to an 'X' on the map. This is a hunting cabin the doctor has gotten 
for us. A friend of his owns it but we can use it for the three weeks we will 
need it. It's a good forty miles or so from town so we needn't fear anyone will 
visit us, let alone find us."
Susan studied the map. "According to your landmarks this is buried in 
wilderness."
"Exactly," Hank confirmed.
"How will we get there?" Michael asked, his voice trembling.
"If we wouldn't have to worry about how physically fragile Jamara was we could 
hike it. But we can't. Jamara would never make it. And since there are no access 
roads, the doctor has arranged for us to be flown in by government helicopter. 
The doctor will fly out with us to help us set up."
* * *
They had put heavy black-out film on the windows of Hank's Ford van. The 
protection was necessary to keep Jamara's alien form hidden from the sight of 
prying eyes. Charlotte drove all of them out to a remote field where an Army 
helicopter was waiting for them. Its engine thundering off the hills, the late 
afternoon sun glanced off its canopy giving it the appearance of a fat, bug-eyed 
grasshopper about to spring on its unseen prey. The grasshopper squatted in the 
grass, waiting for them to board.
As they all got out of the van, Hank put his arms around his wife and kissed her 
hard. "It will be all right, Hank," Charlotte said encouragingly as he stepped 
out of the van. He turned and looked back at her. "I know," he said.
Jamara's body was not meant for running. Her thin limbs would have fractured 
over the rough terrain had not Michael and Rem helped her to the helicopter. A 
chill swept through Susan as she saw the doctor waving to them from the 
helicopter door. This undertaking was going to be dangerous, and Susan knew it. 
They had to get to the helicopter quickly and fly out. No point was remote 
enough to insure privacy. If anyone should see Jamara's shambling alien form 
being helped to the helicopter, it would be disastrous.
The roar of the engine seemed to pass through every cell of Susan's body. The 
rotor's whup whup whup sounded like the pulse of a huge, malignant heart beating 
out of control. With his right arm supporting his mother, Rem took Susan's hand 
in his left hand. Susan read his lips in the helicopter's hellish roar as he 
said, "I love you both so much."
Her long hair flying under the blast of the rotor blades, Susan smiled at this 
man who only a few months ago had come to her as a frightened, confused soul and 
who was now leading her into an adventure that was beyond her wildest 
imaginings.
When they reached the helicopter's door, Susan shucked off her backpack and 
slung it inside. The doctor took it and threw it into the very back of the cabin 
space. Then Susan pulled the pack off Rem's back and handed it to the doctor.
Many arms reached out to Jamara as they lifted her into the doorway. They 
strapped her into a seat, her long, thin frame clearly mismatched to the seat 
constructed for human use. Susan sat in the seat at Jamara's left while Rem sat 
at Jamara's right. The doctor sat in the co-pilot's seat while Hank and Brian 
sat in jump seats behind Susan, Jamara, and Rem. The roar in the cabin was so 
deafening, Susan could only see lips moving, the voice disappearing somewhere 
between the speaker and the listener. Jamara pressed her mouth against Susan's 
ear. "I am so frightened," she said. Susan put her arm around Jamara and hugged 
her.
"What's wrong?" Rem's lips said, his face troubled.
Susan smiled and looked at Jamara. "Nothing," she heard herself say into her 
head. Rem settled back into his seat, seemingly content with Susan's assurance.
The doctor turned around in his seat to face them. "Ready?" Susan saw his lips 
say.
They nodded numbly in the din. The doctor turned to the pilot. The engine took 
on a new sound, as if the fire breathing dragons of the underworld were all 
unleashed at once. There was only a slight lurch as the helicopter lifted itself 
off the ground. Hank's van became smaller and smaller as the helicopter clawed 
for altitude. Then the van was gone as the helicopter headed west, towards the 
cabin.
Chapter 24
The trip took only thirty-five minutes, but the noise in the cabin was so bone 
jarring it seemed to take hours rather than minutes. Susan was worried for 
Jamara. Jamara was too frail for this kind of trip and she showed it. Limbs 
asleep from sitting in a cramped space far too long, they all stumbled from the 
helicopter like zombies.
The doctor came to the doorway and threw them their backpacks. Then he waved to 
them as if he was about to leave.
"Where's he going?" Rem screamed above the helicopter's roar.
"I don't know," Hank screamed in return. Hank ran to the doorway and began 
arguing with the doctor. The doctor's face turned into a raging mask of anger. 
The helicopter started to slowly ascend, as if it was alive and trying to pull 
the doctor away from his confronter, but as the helicopter rose, Hank reached 
up, grabbed the doctor by his shirt and dragged him out of the helicopter onto 
the ground. "You said you would help us!" Hank yelled.
"You don't need any help," the doctor screamed through the noise.
With the helicopter fully back down on the ground, now, and with the engine 
still running, the pilot stormed out of the cabin and confronted Hank. "We're 
finished here," the pilot yelled above the engine's roar. "We're leaving."
Hank looked at the doctor and the pilot in disbelief. "You promised us you would 
help us set up for Jamara's procedure. What kind of men are you?"
"You don't need our help," the doctor yelled. "You have your survival supplies. 
Brian has all the ampules he needs for the procedure. I've gone over this in 
detail with him. You don't need me."
"Where's the radio? You said you'd leave us a radio," Hank demanded.
"You don't need a goddamned radio! We'll be back to get you in three weeks. What 
more do you want?"
Hank glared as the doctor and the pilot climbed back in. It was clear they were 
leaving now. Hank could make a fight of it. He and Brian and Michael outnumbered 
the two. But they couldn't have forced them to help. It was best to just let 
them go, Susan realized.
The doctor looked back one last time at Hank. "Enjoy yourselves," he sneered. He 
waved in a mock salute, and with an agonizing roar, the helicopter leaped off 
the field.
Disbelief was on their faces. "What the hell?" Hank mumbled under his breath. 
"What the hell was that all about?"
"I don't know," Brian said, "but we'd better not all just stand here. We've got 
work to do before we lose the sun."
* * *
Before they had lost the light they had everything packed into the cabin. The 
country was beautiful, but wild, and the location was frighteningly remote. 
Mountains surrounded them and a small stream not fifty yards from the cabin door 
bubbled soothingly on its way down the mountain.
The cabin itself was built of rough hewn logs, but it would be comfortable 
enough, Susan supposed. She estimated the cabin to be sixteen by thirty-five 
feet. She certainly wouldn't want to live here for any length of time, but it 
would be large enough to house the six of them for a mere three weeks. Susan 
wasn't worried about how large the cabin was. She was worried about the 
procedure itself. They had no proof the procedure would work. They didn't even 
know if it was safe. The doctor had been close-mouthed about the success of it. 
They had only his word that it would work. And judging by his recent behavior, 
Susan knew everyone was now as worried about it as she.
Night was upon them. They had spread their blankets on the floor and had put 
down an air mattress for Jamara's comfort. Her alien limbs had no visible 
muscle, so they suspected that sleeping on a hard floor with only the insulated 
thickness of a sleeping bag for comfort would have proven to be more than Jamara 
could bear.
"Come," Michael said to Jamara. He held out his hand and helped her to her feet. 
Michael looked at the rest of them in the fading light. "We'll be back soon. 
Jamara and I want to spend some time in private." Michael smiled at Jamara's 
hideous, pear-shaped head. Then he took her by her atrophied arm and led her out 
into the twilight. Through the door Susan could see Michael spread out a blanket 
on the ground for them. Brian closed the door and turned on a battery lamp. The 
inside of the cabin took on a warm feeling as the light softly bathed the 
chinked log walls. "I'm worried. I just want you all to know I'm worried," Brian 
said fretfully.
Hank leaned forward on his chair, a rough plank affair that was in the cabin 
when they arrived. "Brian, Jamara has no choice. If you don't carry through with 
the procedure, she will find a way to end her life. She is depending on us to do 
the best we can, even if it means her life."
Rem had his arm around Susan and she felt him flinch at Hank's comment.
"I know," Brian said. "It's just that I'm wary of the doctor, now. I never did 
like him much. He's a hotdogger. And he's belligerent to boot."
Hank chuckled. "He's even too much for the Zeta. They stay away from him for the 
most part.
"I want you to begin tonight," Rem said suddenly.
Brian looked both surprised and troubled. "I thought it would be nice if we 
could give the night to Jamara and Michael. We can begin in the morning."
"We begin tonight. My mother has waited her whole life to be a normal human 
being. We are not waiting until morning."
Susan put her hand reassuringly on Rem's forearm. "Honey, don't you think 
that...?"
"Tonight," Rem said firmly.
* * *
Brian gave Jamara her first set of injections. She received them with grace but 
Susan could see they hurt her. She lay on her air mattress at one end of the 
cabin while the others slept fitfully on the other. They hadn't wanted to crowd 
her. Brian knew the going would become very rough for Jamara and the more room 
they could give her the more comfortable she would be.
* * *
She moaned once and everyone was awake. Rem scrambled over the blankets to reach 
his mother's side. Someone switched on a battery lantern. Michael was already at 
Jamara's side, holding her hand. "It's all right, Jamara. It's all right," he 
said soothingly.
Brian fumbled through his backpack. "Give me some light! Quick!"
Susan found another lantern and switched it on. Brian grabbed an ampule, slipped 
a syringe needle through the diaphragm and sucked the drug into the syringe. 
"This will help her with the pain. It's starting now. I hope this works," he 
mumbled. He turned to Jamara, quickly swabbed her arm with alcohol and planted 
the needle.
"Ohhh," Jamara cried, as Brian pushed the drug into her alien flesh.
"It will be all right, Mother," Rem said. "You'll feel better soon. It will be 
all right."
Jamara's bug-like eyes looked dull in the soft, weak light of the lanterns. 
Distress creased Michael's face. "I'll be all right, Michael. I'll get through 
this. I'll be all right." Jamara patted Michael's forearm.
* * *
None of them had slept well for the rest of the night. Brian was at Jamara's 
side throughout the night. He hadn't slept at all. When morning came, Susan 
whispered, "You've done enough for now, Brian. Get yourself something to eat." 
She could smell the bacon frying on the barbecue grate out front.
Jamara had finally found her sleep. Brian looked at her sleeping form. Then he 
looked at Susan. "Does her face look different? Or is it just my imagination?"
Susan squinted in the dim light. She looked at Brian, hope leaping within her. 
"Yes!" she whispered. "Her eyes are loosing their blackness! And they seem to be 
somewhat smaller! My God, Brian!" Her heart was slamming against her chest.
Brian whispered, "Go out and tell Rem and Michael what we've seen."
"Let me..."
Brian put his hand up. "No. This good news has to come from you. Have some 
breakfast. You can come back and relieve me when you're finished."
"Brian, I really never saw this side of you when..."
"I was an ass, Susan. We weren't meant for each other."
"I know, but when you show your compassionate side, you're downright loveable." 
Susan kissed him quickly on the forehead, then went out into the morning air."
Rem was sitting by the fire, his chin resting against his fist. He looked up as 
Susan came to him. Susan put her arms around him and cuddled him. "Oh, Rem, I 
love you so much."
"Without you I really don't know what I would do, Susan."
"You would manage."
He smiled faintly. "No. You know that's not true. I would be a very lost soul 
without your love."
"Well, here's something to cheer you up. Michael, Hank, Jamara's facial 
structure is beginning to change."
Michael dropped his coffee cup.
Chapter 25
Days two, three, and four came and went. The force that had initiated the small 
change to Jamara's eyes, this small mark of progress that had encouraged them 
all so much, seemed to have gone into hiding. It was as if Brian had been 
injecting water into her veins for all the good the injections seemed to have 
done her. Jamara's level of pain was beginning to escalate, so the five of them 
had worked out a schedule to take turns caring for her. Brian gave Jamara the 
DNA, the growth accelerator, and the pain medication, but the others took turns 
staying by her side, encouraging her and comforting her.
On the afternoon of day five Susan took Brian aside. Susan was relieved Rem and 
Michael were occupied with Jamara because they failed to notice the look of 
worry Susan knew was on her face. "Brian, why has the medication stopped 
working? Since that initial small change to her eyes she hasn't changed in the 
slightest. I know that Rem and Michael are worried sick about it."
The DNA is having an effect, but you have to give the body time to react to it. 
It may not be a snap-of- the-finger transformation. That kind of thing only 
happens in stories."
"So you're saying you don't know how she will react to the treatment?" Susan's 
confidence in Brian was beginning to slip.
"The doctor didn't give me specific information in regard to speed of 
transformation, no."
"But we have little more than two weeks left. If Jamara doesn't undergo the 
change by the time they come back for us..."
"You're worrying too much, Susan. The procedure will work. It's all based on 
sound scientific principles. It will work."
Rem was immediately at their side. "What will work?"
"Rem..." Susan said. She knew that tone in his voice.
"What will work?" Rem persisted.
"Susan is concerned that we haven't seen much of a change in your mother yet. 
She's afraid the procedure won't work. I'm trying to allay her fears."
Rem looked at Susan. "Of course it will work. It's got to work."
Suddenly Jamara screamed as if it was her last gasp. They ran to her side and 
stood frozen to the floor as a fluid that Susan assumed was equivalent to human 
blood popped from Jamara's eyes and nose. "Help me!" Brian cried. "Help me turn 
her over!"
They quickly turned Jamara over on her stomach. "Help me, Susan," Brian said as 
he filled a syringe.
"What are you going to do?" Susan was frightened and didn't care if she showed 
it.
"This is a buffer," Brian said. "The growth accelerator is proving to be too 
much for her. I have to slow it down before it kills her." Even through the 
panic, Brian managed to stay calm as he methodically filled the syringe, tapped 
the bubbles from the drug and squirted the air out until the drug dribbled down 
the side of the needle. "Pull back Jamara's robe," Brian ordered. Susan did so 
and Brian swiftly planted the drug into Jamara's hip and she writhed in pain as 
the drug plunged through her flesh.
"I can't stand this anymore, Brian," Jamara said, pain in her voice. "Please 
stop. Please stop giving me any more drugs. I don't care anymore. Please stop."
Rem lurched outwardly at his mother's proclamation. "Mother, you can't mean 
that."
Brian bent down to Jamara's face, the face of an alien- the face of a bug. There 
were no ears. There were only holes in the side of her head. "Jamara, believe 
me, I would stop giving you this treatment in a heartbeat if I could. But I 
can't. If I would stop the treatments, it would kill you. Your body has come too 
far through the process. We've started this and now we have to finish it."
"I can't endure this anymore," she groaned.
"Yes you can, Jamara," Michael said. "Yes you can. You must." He took her 
four-fingered hand in his fingers, looked at the others gathered around her and 
said, "May we have a moment of privacy?"
"Michael..." Rem said.
"Come," Susan whispered. "Let's allow Michael and your mother a little space. 
They've had little time together since we came here."
"But she's my mother."
Susan looked levelly at Rem. "And Michael yearns for an intimate relationship 
with your mother. Let's let them be so he can do his part in encouraging her to 
go through with this." She was pulling Rem away from them and whispering 
fiercely at him at the same time.
Rem followed her out the door. "You're treating me as if I'm a child, Susan," 
Rem said.
"No, I'm just trying to cut through the emotional shell you've put around 
yourself. I know how much Jamara means to you, but we have to give her room. You 
can't make her do your bidding. She has to decide for herself. And the best 
chance of her making the right decision is to leave her alone with Michael. She 
doesn't need massive input from all of us."
Hank was already outside and he began to pace. Rem sat down on the spring grass 
and leaned against the barbecue grate. Susan sat down next to him, then turned 
towards him and laid the flat of her hand against his chest. She could feel his 
heart pounding through his jacket. "It will be all right, Rem. Your mother will 
be all right."
"I don't think so, Susan. I don't think anyone can survive what she's going 
through."
High above them a jet aircraft traced its ghostly vapor trail across the sky. 
Rem chuckled quietly. "See that?" He pointed at it as if Susan were his student.
"Yes," Susan said, "I see it."
"The person flying that aircraft is looking down at us and we are so small 
against the landscape that we are invisible to him. We are all invisible. My 
mother is invisible. No one sees her. No one cares about her. No one..."
Susan gently put her hand on Rem's mouth. "Stop it, Sweetheart. We must continue 
to have hope. Your mother needs us to be strong."
The cabin door swung open and Brian stepped out. "Jamara has asked to see both 
of you."
They quickly struggled to their feet. "Is she all right?" Rem asked. "Please 
tell me she's all right, Brian."
"Well, I've stabilized her. The changes her body is undergoing are so massive 
that her capillaries began to burst. We knew that would happen. I should say I 
knew that would happen because the doctor had warned me about this phenomenon. 
Unfortunately, the drug I gave her to stop it only works after the fact. I can't 
prevent it. I can only give her a drug that does massive repairs after the 
capillaries have burst. This may happen again before the transformation is 
complete."
They stepped into the cabin and went to Jamara's side. Michael looked up, his 
face streaked with tears.
Susan was riveted to the floor at the sight of Jamara. "You're changing!" Susan 
said, aghast.
Jamara rolled her head towards them. "So Michael tells me."
"I have a mirror. Wait," Susan said. Trembling with excitement, Susan went to 
the other side of the cabin, dug into her backpack and took her compact from it. 
Then she went back to Jamara, flipped the compact open and handed it to her. 
Susan looked at Rem. "Are you all right, Sweetheart?" She clutched his arm to 
steady him.
"I've never been better," he whispered.
Jamara held the mirror to her face. "My eyes! My nose!" She touched her own face 
as if she was exploring the craters on the moon. Her nose, nearly buried in the 
face of her old head, was now protruding from it, its shape approaching the 
shape of a human nose. Her mouth was noticeably wider. "It hurts inside my 
mouth." She tentatively moved her jaw, a jaw that never showed before, from side 
to side.
"Yes," Michael said. "I believe it hurts because you have new teeth coming in."
"Michael's right," Brian said. "Your days of eating artificially produced food 
paste from a tube are just about over."
Jamara struggled to sit up.
"Maybe you...," Rem started to say.
But Jamara interrupted him. "I can sit up. I want to sit up. Help me."
With the tenderness that any son might show his mother, Rem helped her sit up. 
Jamara smiled at Susan. The smile was faint, but it already had a decidedly more 
human quality to it. "Susan, would you please help me bathe in the stream?"
Susan looked at Brian, then back at Jamara. "Do you think you are strong enough? 
The water will be cold, running down from the mountains."
"I know. I don't care. I want to sit in the stream and let the water wash over 
me. Will you help me?"
"Of course," Susan said. "Of course I'll help you."
Many hands helped Jamara off her mattress and they carried her out of the cabin 
and down the grassy slope into the small mountain stream. "Thank you," Jamara 
said. "Susan and I can manage now."
Michael looked distraught. Jamara touched him with her hand that now showed 
another finger trying to emerge along side of the four she already had. "I will 
be all right, Michael. Leave us now. All of you, please leave us. Susan and I 
will be fine."
The four men reluctantly left and went back inside the cabin.
Jamara settled back against a smooth stone in the stream bed. The water was 
clear and at most two feet deep. "Men are so protective," Jamara said.
"Yes," Susan agree. "And you and I have the extreme good fortune of being 
associated with those who are especially protective." Susan picked up the bar of 
soap and washcloth she had placed on the bank. "Would you like me to help you 
wash?"
"Yes, please," Jamara said. "I believe I'm too weak to wash myself."
Susan helped Jamara remove her robe, then began washing her back. Jamara was not 
yet human. Her skin was still of a pale grayish pallor, all the more accented by 
the bright sun above them. Her bone structure was still not visible like it was 
on a fully human body. "Look at me," Susan said.
Jamara looked at Susan with new eyes. The huge ovoid black bulging eyes of an 
alien were being replaced with human eyes. Irises were becoming distinctly 
visible and the field surrounding them was lightening. The size of the eye was 
decreasing, as was Jamara's entire head. "You're beginning to grow human hair," 
Susan said. She felt it and let it spill through her fingers. "When your 
transformation is complete you and I will have lots of fun styling your hair." 
Susan was amazed that Michael could accept Jamara, this being who was not yet 
human. But he had. It was amazing that he had. As for Susan, her past 
experiences with the alien beings had in its own way made her comfortable with 
alien lifeforms. And now Susan was helping her mother-in-law, still very much a 
hybrid being, wash in a clear mountain stream. "I love you, Jamara," she 
suddenly said. Susan put her arms around her and hugged her as if she was her 
own mother.
"I love you, too, Susan. "I love you because you are my son's wife, but I love 
you much more than that." She looked at Susan and tried to smile widely with her 
new mouth. "I love you simply because I do."
Chapter 26
Transformation was progressing steadily now. Jamara was slowly but surely 
turning into a human woman. Her capillaries had burst numerous times since that 
first time, and the pain she was experiencing was so severe that Susan was 
afraid the pain would kill her. But Jamara was a determined being now. She would 
become a whole, human woman or die trying.
Rem's joy was something to behold. He chattered constantly. He chattered at 
Susan, he chattered at Michael, and he held onto Jamara for dear life whenever 
Jamara's pain became unbearable.
But Michael was a puzzle. Susan was still trying to figure him out. He sat 
quietly by most of the time. The rest of the time he crawled off into a corner 
and sobbed quietly. It was as if he was so much in awe of the whole process, he 
couldn't express himself. Susan had tried to comfort him. They had all tried. 
But he seemed to be inconsolable.
On day twenty the transformation was complete. Jamara was human- really, truly, 
fully human. And she was beautiful. Her nose was striking, and her very human 
eyes popped from her face. But Susan worried for her. Jamara was beyond 
exhaustion. Brian said that rest would help energize her, but he also stressed 
that Jamara would soon have to begin an exercise regimen. New muscles would have 
to be toned. Newly shaped limbs would have to be dealt with. At present, Jamara 
could barely walk. Her gate had been that of a thin-limbed alien with a head at 
least twice the size of a human head. She didn't walk like a human then. She 
walked like a nightmare. Now Jamara was trying to find her new body - her new 
self.
On the evening of that same day they prepared a celebration feast on the 
barbecue grate. As the rest of them talked and laughed, Jamara and Michael sat 
quietly off to the side of the other four. Hank and Brian had packed some 
fishing flies and collapsible fishing poles. In a matter of less than an hour 
they caught trout further downstream. The fish had roasted up beautifully.
Michael was cutting his fish into tiny chunks and was quietly feeding them to 
Jamara. She dared not eat much at first. Even though her digestive system was 
now fully human, she had to gently introduce her stomach to Earth food. The 
tenderness Michael showed Jamara almost made Susan cry. He instructed her how to 
chew, and he waited patiently while she chewed and swallowed each morsel. Now 
Susan didn't know why she had ever worried about Michael. It was obvious he 
still loved Jamara, even though she had changed into something completely 
different.
Suddenly Michael stood up from the grass. He leaned down and picked up Jamara 
and held her in his arms. He began to cry, the tears streaming down his face in 
rivers of pain.
"No, Michael," Jamara said. She tried to wipe his tears - to console him. 
"Please don't cry."
"I can't help it, I can't help it." Michael looked at them all. Then he looked 
down at Jamara in his arms. "I know you all think I've been totally removed from 
Jamara's pain. Well, I haven't been. I've felt everything she has felt. And I 
was so afraid she would turn into someone...someone I didn't know."
"What are you saying?" Hank asked. "What are you saying, Michael?"
"I'm saying...I'm telling you...I'm telling all of you that the woman I'm 
holding in my arms is my wife."
Chapter 27
Susan felt woozy, as if the very reality she had been living in had suddenly 
been torn into bits and pieces. She clutched onto Rem, and he looked at her as 
if his world had been turned upside down. "What...?" Rem muttered.
Susan heard Hank mumble, "Damn," under his breath.
Michael put Jamara down and helped her steady herself on her feet. He stood 
behind her with his arms encircling her to help her stand. He cuddled her to 
him. "You knew, didn't you? You knew it was me when you saw me that first time. 
You knew it was me when I collapsed at the sight of you in Rem and Susan's 
cellar."
"Yes," Jamara said, voice shaking. "I knew it was you."
"What are you talking about?" Rem said. He put his hands up. "Stop, both of you. 
Stop. This is a joke. You're trying to upset us." Rem looked at the rest of 
them, then back at Michael. "Well, you have. You've upset all of us. Every 
damned one of us. I'm having a very difficult time accepting this new woman as 
my mother. She looks different. She acts different. She is different."
"No, Rem," Jamara said. "I am the same person. Only my body is different. My 
mind, my soul, it's still the same. I still love you. You are still my son. But 
Michael is telling you that I am his wife. He is telling you that we are man and 
wife."
Brian said, "I find it doubtful that you could have found anyone on this planet 
to have actually married you when Jamara was in her alien form. Either you are 
speaking of this figuratively, or you have both lost your minds. Which is it?"
Michael said, "We have not lost our minds. I can assure you we have not lost our 
minds."
"Then what are you talking about?" Rem asked, his voice cracking with 
frustration.
Michael sighed against Jamara. "I tell people that I was married once and 
divorced. I tell them this because it's so much less painful than retelling the 
story of what really happened. It's true that I was at one time married. In 
fact, I was married to Jamara." He looked at her lovingly. "And her name really 
is Jamara. Jamara is of South American heritage. We met in California and were 
married there."
"Start from the beginning," Susan said. "You owe all of us, especially Rem, a 
damned good explanation, don't you think?"
"Yes," Michael said, "we do." He sighed, then began, "Twenty-five years ago, 
almost to the day, Jamara and I were driving home from a shopping trip. It was 
probably eleven o'clock in the evening or so when we saw it."
"Saw what?" Rem asked, anger in his tone.
"It was a ship of some kind, Rem. It was shaped just like one of those saucer 
craft we all hear so much about." He looked at them all, then continued, "The 
craft was well lit so we could see it's outline clearly. There was a blue 
pulsing glow beneath it and running lights around the rim. It flashed across the 
road, I lost control of the car, and that was the last thing I remember. When I 
awoke, it was in a hospital room. I wasn't hurt, but I was badly shaken. And 
when they told me that I was the only one they found in the car, you can imagine 
my panic. They searched for Jamara for weeks, but, of course, never found her."
"Are you telling me," Brian said, "that the Zeta took her?"
"What other conclusion can we make? Besides," Michael looked at her, "she 
remembers it."
Rem looked steadily at Jamara. "Do you remember them taking you?"
"I remember now, Rem. I remember it all."
Rem looked back at Michael. "And are you also implying they manipulated her 
DNA?"
"Isn't this obvious?"
Brian snapped a look at Hank. "Did you know this was going on? The Zeta have 
promised they would only manipulate the DNA of a human in fetal form. Jamara was 
an adult when they did this to her."
"It appears that way," Hank said. "We've heard rumors they were doing this but 
we've had no proof."
Susan flew at Hank. "Are you telling me that you have had suspicions all this 
time and you never took steps to do anything about it?!"
"Susan, I've told you before that they call the shots. We have no power over 
these people. None," he said defeatedly.
Michael held up his hand in the universal sign for 'stop, calm down'. "There's 
more," Michael said. "There's more. When we encountered the ship we had our 
two-year-old son with us."
A shocked silence fell; a silence you could cut with a knife. Rem said, "I'm 
twenty-seven. What does this mean? A two year-old child would be twenty-seven 
now. What does this mean?" he asked desperately.
"I don't know," Michael said. "Our son had a birthmark across his back. I have 
the same birthmark." Michael chuckled nervously. "I have not yet asked Jamara if 
Rem has a birthmark."
"He does," Jamara whispered. "He does and he's our son." Jamara slowly pulled 
Michael's shirt up. He turned around for all to see. Both trembling, Susan 
helped Rem open his shirt and expose his back. The birthmarks were the same.
***
It was late evening, and sleeping so far had eluded everyone. The surprise among 
them that had quickly turned to anger had finally mutated into joy. Did Jamara 
know all along what the Zeta had done to her? they asked. No. The Zeta had 
convinced her she was a hybrid being who was altered from birth and who was 
given a human infant, Rem, to care for. The shock of her transformation into a 
hybrid had buried any memory she had had about her previous life.
But Michael knew Jamara was who she was the instant he saw her. Her alien body 
couldn't hide her soul from him. But as Jamara's transformation proceeded, 
Michael feared Jamara wouldn't know him. He desperately needed her to renew her 
love for him. "I finally knew beyond all doubt it was Jamara as I was helping 
her eat today." Michael gave Jamara a love peck on her finely sculpted cheek. "I 
often fed your mother in a show of love and affection. It was an intimate 
connection that proved to me beyond all doubt that Jamara is my wife."
Rem buried his head in his hands. "You're my father. I don't know how to act 
towards you. You're my father."
Michael put his hand on Rem's shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry, Rem. You'll get 
the hang of it, I'm sure."
***
The sound of Hank's screaming voice ripped into Susan's brain. "Up! Get up, all 
of you! Now! Hurry! Scramble!"
Susan could sense Rem fumbling after the battery lantern. He clicked it on and 
Brian clicked on the other. The six of them were not more than shadows sprawled 
on the floor. "What's wrong?" Michael asked. "What the hell is wrong with you, 
Hank? Have you lost your mind?"
"We have to move. We have to get out. We have to get out of this cabin. Didn't 
you hear them just come in?"
"Who? What?" Brian asked. "Who came in?"
"The doctor." Even in the dim light Susan could see Hank was breathing hard. He 
was truly frightened. "Didn't you hear the chopper come in?"
"No," Rem said. "I didn't hear anything."
"Listen to me, all of you: we don't have much time and I'm certainly not going 
to argue about this. The chopper came in only moments ago and landed some 
distance away. Think. It's the middle of the night. Why would they come to us in 
the middle of the night? It was to be tomorrow they would come for us. But they 
come tonight when are defenses are down." His words were fast, frightened, but 
focused. "And they set the chopper down a distance away because they were trying 
to hide their arrival. They are coming in undercover. Why?" He looked at them 
all, wildness in his eyes.
Fear swept through Susan. She was understanding this now. Unless they acted 
fast, the six of them would be slaughtered before they could get out the door.
But it was over before they could even make the effort. The cabin door flew open 
and a blinding burst of light suddenly filled the cabin. "All of you! Don't 
move! On the floor! On the floor! On the floor! On the floor! Get down! On the 
floor! Don't move!" a voice screamed through the blinding light.
Rem roughly pushed Susan onto the floor, his body half covering hers. Her 
eyelids fluttered and blinked at the sudden, intense light that filled the 
space. The light had come from flares that had been thrown through the door, and 
now they were burning madly on the floor, spreading their ghastly glow, making 
those on the floor appear like corpses.
Susan could see clearly now. The doctor stood in the doorway with his gun. It 
was an UZI; its long, slim, deadly barrel, its equally long, high tech skeletal 
metal stock, its deadly magazine jutting at a right angle behind the trigger. 
Susan knew the gun was an UZI. She hated guns. She knew she was going to die.
Chapter 28
A hybrid Zeta stood at the doctor's side. It, too, was holding an UZI. The 
doctor looked down at them. "Stand up, Jamara," the doctor ordered. "Stand up so 
I can see how you look."
Susan held her breath, her heart banging against the floor. She felt Rem shift 
protectively against her.
Jamara struggled to her feet. She looked levelly at the doctor. "You bastard," 
Jamara said. "You son- of-a-bitch."
The doctor smiled. He swept his gaze across the floor, taking everyone in with 
it. "I believe you all deserve an explanation." He again looked at Jamara and 
held her in his gaze. The hybrid at the doctor's side was nervous, its huge eyes 
taking everyone in in a single gulp, its long, gray finger twitching against the 
trigger of the UZI. "Jamara," the doctor paused and looked at the others, "was a 
stroke of good luck for me. Twenty-five years ago one of our scout craft...well, 
you undoubtedly know all that. Let me tell you the important parts." He put his 
fingers under Jamara's chin and lifted it as if her were admiring a fine piece 
of sculpture. "I made this human into a superior being. I gave her Zeta DNA. She 
became a hybrid. I truly wanted to make her a pure Zeta, but my Zeta superiors 
wanted to see how a hybrid might raise a human child. They felt it was beyond 
the capacity of a human child to accept the pure Zeta entity, especially since 
that child would be raised in a facility that had humans working within it. It 
was indeed a miracle that we managed to take Jamara and her son as two people 
who were truly related."
"What you did to me was not only illegal, it was criminal," Jamara spat, her 
very human voice shaking with anger. "What you did to Rem and Michael was 
equally illegal and criminal."
"Yes, it was both. But, you see, I don't care. The Zeta are superior. We are 
superior. I have Zeta DNA," the doctor said haughtily. "They gave me this gift. 
Granted, you can't see my gift on the outside, but I know I have it. It's in 
here." The doctor pointed to his brain, then to his heart. "It's inside of me. 
With the gift of this Zeta DNA I am superior. How could you blame me, then, for 
wanting to pass this gift along to others? The Zeta wanted to observe the 
raising of a human child by a hybrid who truly was his mother. You and Rem gave 
us that opportunity."
"And now you're going to kill us," Michael said, matter of fact.
"You're almost correct. I am going to kill you. When we leave this room, 
everyone in it except Jamara will be dead. We can't leave any witnesses, now, 
can we?
"Jamara?" Michael croaked.
The doctor smiled serenely at Michael. "Jamara will remain. It was an 
interesting experiment to see how a hybrid could be changed back into human 
form. I had never done this before. I would say that the experiment was quite 
successful." The doctor paused dramatically, smiled, then said, "But Jamara, my 
love, you are so inferior as a pure human, so I have decided to change you back 
to your superior hybrid form."
"No!"
Things happened quickly, then. Screams split the air as Rem and Michael reared 
up from the floor like two deadly snakes and charged the doctor. Rem reached him 
first, slamming his body into the doctor. The doctor's arms went up wildly, and 
the UZI the doctor was holding spat bullets into the ceiling and walls. Susan 
launched herself at the hybrid as it tried to swing its UZI around to kill her. 
But Susan temporarily had the advantage as she grabbed him from behind. She had 
her arm crooked around the hybrid's neck and she was trying to choke him, to 
pull him down, but the being was unbelievably strong. Now she quickly felt 
herself losing ground. A fist suddenly appeared and slammed the hybrid full in 
the face. It was Brian's fist. The hybrid uttered an unspeakable inhuman scream 
at the blow and between them they wrestled the hybrid to the floor. His UZI went 
off and the evil staccato of bullets split the air. The room suddenly fell 
silent - silent except for one desperate gasp. "Ahhh!" The doctor doubled over 
and collapsed to the floor. With a spitting snarl on his face, Hank wrestled the 
UZI out of the hybrid's hands.
"My God," Hank said. "My God. This is insane. My God," he said again.
Susan crawled over to the doctor. His eyes were open and he was still breathing. 
"You probably won't want to save me, Susan," the doctor choked, blood spilling 
from the corner of his mouth.
"How do you know my name?" She looked down at this pathetic being who was now 
fighting for every breath. "I never told the ETs my name. How do you know it?" 
she demanded.
Rem was at her side now. He took her hand in his and squeezed it.
The doctor began choking on his own blood. "I know your name because I was the 
supervising doctor every time you were brought in by the Zeta, and we made it 
our business to know the names of our abductees. It made it more personal that 
way." He coughed again. "I often examined you during those times when you would 
pass out from sheer fright. That's why the Zeta's abduction plan is so 
beautiful, Susan. It preys upon the basest fears of the human. That's why the 
Zeta are so superior. I am part Zeta. I am the DNA bearer of the most superior 
race in the universe."
"You had no right," Susan said. "You had no right."
"I had every right. We are the superior beings. You are dirt under our feet. We 
are the standard bearers, the shining example of what mankind can be."
"No," Susan said. "You are the worst possible examples of what humankind can 
descend to. You are the killers of all that's decent. You, and people like you, 
have made no contribution to the human race."
"Don't bother with him, Susan," Michael said. "Don't waste your breath."
Susan looked at Michael. Blood was trickling down his face where a bullet had 
grazed it.
Susan said, "The doctor is a human being, whether he realizes it or not. Zeta 
DNA, no matter how much, can't be enough to hide the human soul." Again 
addressing the doctor, Susan said, "Doctor, I don't know if you believe in God, 
but it really doesn't matter. I'm going to bless you anyway. I pray you don't 
ruin your chance at spiritual growth in your next incarnation." Susan put her 
hand on the doctor's forehead. She mumbled her own prayer, and before she 
finished it, the doctor had slipped away.
***
"You had better tell me the truth, son," Hank said. The hybrid's huge eyes were 
flickering in the lantern light. His head was trembling. He was afraid. Hank 
continued, "You're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere just like us. You 
flew the chopper in, but I'm not about to trust you to fly us out. Any 
suggestions?"
"The doctor made me help him," the hybrid said innocently.
"Nonsense," Hank said. "You were hefting an UZI just like the doctor was. You 
were as intent on murdering us all as he was."
The hybrid said nothing.
Hank stood up and ran his fingers back through his hair in frustration. "He's no 
help." Hank opened his back pack and pulled out a cellular phone.
Brian said, "So you didn't trust the doctor at the outset? You were afraid he 
wouldn't give us a radio like he promised?"
Hank quickly punched in a number, then put the phone to his ear. "No, I..." He 
put up his hand for quiet. "Damn," he said. It's not connecting. I was afraid 
there would be no service out this far. I was right." He clicked off the phone 
and put it back into his pack.
"The chopper's radio would help us," Brian said, "but I don't know how to use 
it."
Hank sighed. "I do. It looks like I'm going to have to call my wife to come and 
rescue us."
Chapter 29
Dawn was breaking and Susan was worried they wouldn't be able to fly out before 
the light of day made the helicopter visible from the air. Any pilot passing 
overhead would report the craft as a downed craft, and this was something Hank 
wanted to avoid at all costs. Hank had offered no explanation of what he meant 
when he referred to Charlotte rescuing them. And no one had asked. They simply 
wanted to go home.
Hank pointed calmly at the sky, now. "There it is." A horizontal row of lights 
blinking in a logical sequence stood out strangely against the backdrop of now 
fading stars. A faint blue glow appeared below the lights and moved with them as 
if the two ethereal phenomena were somehow attached. As the lights and their 
bluish glow got closer, a sound like static electricity filled the air. Susan 
suddenly recognized it for what it was. It was an alien craft! Susan stood, her 
jaw hanging open, her powerful flashlight playing across the silver hull of the 
craft as it came in, slipping from side to side like a falling leaf. She had 
been on one of these craft in the past. She remembered it clearly now.
It touched down on the grass, its lights still blinking like a huge board of 
hazard lights along a highway. A door on the side of the craft opened and a 
human climbed out. It was a woman and Susan's flashlight revealed the woman to 
be Charlotte.
Susan clutched the barrel of her flashlight and Rem at the same time. "She's 
part of this?" Susan breathed. "My next door neighbor who makes the best cherry 
pies in Colorado is in league with these bastards."
"It appears that way," Rem whispered.
Hank went to Charlotte and put his arms around her. They stood, talking quietly 
in the lightening sky.
Now Susan embraced Jamara. "What can I tell you, Jamara? The Zeta have corrupted 
those we would least expect- my neighbors, my friends, my parents' friends."
Jamara said, "Well, it does explain why Charlotte wasn't shocked the first time 
she saw me. I suspected she was involved from the very first time she came to 
visit me in my hybrid form."
Susan looked at Jamara. "Why?"
"Because Hank would have never brought his wife to see me if she had not been 
prepared for it. She was obviously prepared for it because she is involved."
"Had you not seen her before in the facility?" Susan asked, incredulous.
"No. But I had never seen Hank before either. The facility is a huge place. It's 
an underground city."
"Yes." Susan shuddered. "It's an underground city."
Hank walked over to them. "Susan, Rem, I want you to go with Charlotte."
"You're not getting me into that damned thing," Susan spat. "Haven't the Zeta 
done enough to us? Haven't both you and Charlotte done enough to us? I can't 
trust you. I can't trust either of you."
"I'm not going either," Rem said. "I refuse," his voice cracking with anger.
Hank looked at Rem levelly. "Then do you want your mother to go with Charlotte? 
Wouldn't you rather we take her home in a conventional helicopter? She's a full 
human now. She would be uncomfortable flying in a Zeta craft, don't you think?"
Michael stepped in between them. He grabbed Hank by his jacket front. "Where's 
home for Jamara, Hank? Don't even consider taking her back to the facility. I'll 
kill you if you try. I swear to God I'll kill you."
Hank stood calmly, not responding to Michael's anger. "Michael, Jamara is your 
wife. I swear to you I didn't know anything about this until the doctor came to 
kill us. Of course Jamara will go home with you. How could you think otherwise?"
Charlotte was at Hank's side now. "It's true, Michael. We didn't know anything 
about this, but if it makes you feel better, I wasn't comfortable with Jamara's 
transformation arrangements from the beginning." Charlotte looked different to 
Susan now. She looked more self assured. Hard, almost. She was dressed in jeans 
and a flannel shirt and hiking boots laced up to her knees. And she had a pistol 
strapped around her waist. Susan didn't see cherry pies in Charlotte anymore. 
Instead she saw a woman who Susan was sure would kill in the snap of a finger if 
necessary.
Michael released Hank from his grasp and turned to Charlotte. "What do you 
mean?" he said angrily. "Are you saying you didn't want her to go through with 
it? Are you saying you didn't want her to reclaim her human identity? Her 
identity the Zeta stole from her? Are you saying you didn't want me to have my 
wife back?! My family back?! My life back?!"
Jamara put her hand on Michael's arm in a way that any loving wife would do to 
her husband who was upset. "Michael, let's allow Charlotte to tell her side of 
it."
Charlotte said, "I didn't mean I didn't want Jamara to go through with it. What 
I'm trying to say is that when Hank told me how you were going to go about it, I 
was immediately uncomfortable and suspicious. There was no reason you had to go 
through the procedure out here away from civilization if the procedure was 
legitimate. This could have and should have been carried out in the facility 
where Jamara would have been under the very finest medical care. I pointed this 
out to Hank but he was so frantic to have Jamara returned to her full human form 
that I didn't have the heart to talk him out of it. We did agree, though, that 
if things went sour we would have a procedure in place for me to come and get 
all of you out." Charlotte looked at the blanket-covered body of the doctor now 
lying out on the grass. "And it appears as if things have gone very sour."
Brian said, "So the facility is aware you've taken a scouter?"
"Yes. I could have never gotten it if they wouldn't have let me take it."
Rem said, "Then they know that what was done to my mother was unauthorized."
"Yes, they know now. But they didn't know until I told them what the doctor had 
planned for Jamara. They did some checking and found a digital trail of 
falsified records. The doctor had done this terrible thing to Jamara without 
anyone's permission except for that of a rogue Zeta. Then the two of them 
planted orders that the procedure to make her a hybrid had been approved. This 
hybrid that came with him, though," Charlotte glared at the hybrid in Brian's 
grasp, "is not the rogue I'm speaking of. He just came along to help the doctor 
murder you all. I also found out that this cabin doesn't belong to any friend of 
the doctor's. It belongs to the doctor. He would have murdered you all and 
simply left your bodies to rot. No one would have investigated. At least not for 
a very long time."
The hybrid's eyes went wide. He began fidgeting against Brian's grip. "I'm in 
trouble," the hybrid said. "I'm in trouble for helping him."
"Yeah, son," Hank said. "I'm afraid you are."
***
Susan didn't want to admit she was fascinated. She was too angry to admit it. 
But as Charlotte took the alien craft into the air, Susan felt just like she did 
when she had taken her first airplane ride as a child. Only this time there was 
no rumble of rolling wheels, no engine roar, no cabin vibration as they left the 
ground. There was only a faint hum in the cabin. Charlotte pressed several areas 
on a control board in front of her, then looked reassuringly at Susan and Rem. 
"We're not going home right now. Instead we're going to hang out here until Hank 
gets the chopper up. We can fly far faster than they and I don't want to leave 
them behind." She grinned at Susan. "Susan, you look very surprised."
"Damn it, Charlotte, why shouldn't I be? You and Hank are dairy farmers. You've 
been our neighbors all through my growing-up years. You used to baby-sit Carol 
and I when Mom and Dad would want to go off by themselves. And now you're flying 
Rem and I home in an alien spacecraft. You! Charlotte, the loving farm wife! 
These beings have been the terror, the horror of my life. They nearly ruined 
Rem's life and I don't have to remind you what they have done to Jamara, and to 
Michael. They took his wife from him! How can you work for these people?"
"First, let me explain that I was involved with the alien/human operation 
several years before Hank became involved. By chance we met each other outside 
the facility not realizing we were both working there. The government people 
were quite upset this had happened. They prefer that those who work there are 
not heavily involved in the private lives of those they work with, but Hank and 
I were in love, and eventually the crusty government people could see that and 
gave in to our pleas. But even so, we were quite concerned at one point that 
they would simply kill us rather than risk us being involved with each other's 
private life. But they didn't, of course. I'm here. Hank's here. And we are both 
very aware of what these people have done to you and Rem and Jamara. And 
Michael. Believe me when I tell you that there is nothing we could have done 
about it. And if it makes you feel any better, at least Hank and I were in 
constant contact with you through your growing years. That's far more protection 
than other abductees have."
Susan looked away from Charlotte. "Protection," she mumbled to herself. Now 
Susan turned and looked directly into Charlotte's face. "It's amazing that 
Michael ended up in this area, isn't it, Charlotte?" Susan spat between her 
gritted teeth. What a coincidence. I suppose the Zeta manipulated his move to 
Granite Falls, too? Gee, we're all just one big happy family herded into one 
place by the Zeta, aren't we?" she said sarcastically. Susan squeezed Rem's arm 
lovingly. She didn't want him to think she wasn't happy that Rem came into her 
life, but she very much resented how the Zeta had gone about it. Rem put his arm 
around her and hugged her to him.
Charlotte said, "I believe the Zeta when they say they knew nothing of this 
illegal move of the doctor's, but it wouldn't surprise me if the doctor had a 
part in getting Michael here. The doctor can't tell us that now. What good would 
it do to know, anyway? Hank and I have known for sometime that the doctor was a 
loose cannon. There just wasn't much we could do about it."
"How did you and Hank become connected with them?" Rem asked. Until this 
question, Rem had been very quiet, but Susan knew he was paying attention to 
every word Charlotte said.
Susan looked out the tiny port, one of many that ringed the side of the craft, 
and saw the rotor blade of the helicopter starting to turn. Charlotte banked the 
scouter slightly, hanging in space without benefit of wings or rotor, so they 
could see the helicopter more clearly. Charlotte sighed loudly. "Hank and I were 
both abducted as children. Eventually they asked us to work with them. You don't 
say no to these people. You just don't. Once you are working for this 
organization, you work for them forever."
"This is a complex mess," Rem said. "How will the Zeta or even our own 
government ever allow any of us to live, now that we know what we know?"
The helicopter rose slowly from the ground now. Then it headed off into the 
rising sun with the scouter close behind, in a sense riding shotgun, even though 
Susan was sure the scouter had no weapons. Charlotte turned to Rem and said, 
"Simple. If we keep what we know to ourselves, we live. If we don't, we die."
***
In order for Michael and Jamara to hide their secret, they concocted a story of 
how Jamara had suffered a blow to the head when they had the automobile accident 
twenty-five years ago. Jamara, as the story went, staggered off into the woods 
with two-year-old Rem. The blow to Jamara had caused amnesia; a perfect cover 
for where Jamara and Rem went and why they didn't return. As Rem got older he 
began asking about his father. Eventually from Rem's constant questions, Jamara 
slowly regained her memory. By investigating, Rem suspected his father was in 
the Granite Falls area and when he found him, he called for his mother. It was a 
simple story, and it was full of holes. But they would stick to this story to 
the days of their death. The secret of the Zeta and how they interfered with and 
changed the lives of the three of them would forever remain hidden from their 
families and friends.
***
Hank and Charlotte threw a barbecue. Before Hank put on the steaks, a local 
minister married Michael and Jamara again, this time under the huge Elm trees in 
Hank and Charlotte's back yard. The marriage wasn't necessary. Jamara had 
returned to Michael, and Michael had not sought a divorce during the twenty-five 
years she had been gone from him. But they wanted to renew their vows. They 
wanted to show each other once again how much they loved each other. And they 
also wanted the marriage to appear in the local newspaper: they wanted to be 
married in the eyes of Michael's friends.
And as they all stood smiling among themselves when the happy couple said, "I 
do" once again, Susan stole a look at Hank. Then she looked over at Charlotte. 
They were the perfect picture of good citizens, of hard working people who were 
normal in every way. But they weren't. Susan didn't know if she could ever 
forgive them, but she would try. She loved them both so much. She would try.
As Susan stood under the spreading branches of what she knew to be the oldest 
Elm on the property, she felt a gentle hand grip her arm. His head dipped down 
to her ear. "Come with me," he whispered mysteriously.
Susan looked up at this man she loved so much. He slowly led her out across the 
grass, away from the others. Cows were bawling, and the smell of cow manure was 
strong in the air. "Oh, how thoroughly romantic," Susan said. She smiled, held 
her breath against the unfriendly air and kissed Rem full on the lips.
He returned her kiss, then looked back at those gathered for his parents' 
wedding. "You can't imagine how disoriented my life has become, Susan."
"Is it a good disorientation? Even though disoriented, are you happy you have 
your father? And are you comfortable with your new mother?"
Rem sighed loudly. "Of course."
"Then why...?"
"It's just a lot to accept, Susan." He lightly kissed her on the forehead. "No 
one, absolutely no one would believe our story- our life."
"And therein lies our protection, Rem. Consider it a blessing."
Michael saw them, then. He smiled and waved a fatherly wave.
Rem smiled at his father and waved back. "Yeah," he said. "Our protection." He 
picked Susan up and walked a distance with her in his arms. "The smell is still 
with us, I'm afraid, but the grass is greener over here." He grinned, cuddled 
her in his arms, then kissed her again.
She laid her hand gently against his chest. She softly kissed his eyes, then the 
side of his nose, then his mouth. "Are you going to put me down?" she whispered.
"Never. I'm going to hold you like this and never let you go," he teased.
"That may be a bit difficult under the circumstances."
Rem looked at her, puzzlement on his face. "What circumstances?"
Susan looked into Rem's eyes. She brushed his hair back with her long fingers 
and then kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "My dear Rem, I'm pregnant."
Thor whined and rubbed up against Rem's pants cuff. He looked down at Thor, then 
back at Susan. "We will be good parents," he said.
"I know," Susan whispered.
Rem put Susan back down on her feet. Then he kissed her so hard she could feel 
his heart beating in his chest. For an instant her heart merged with his heart. 
"I love you so much," she said. He took her hand and they walked back to the 
happy celebration.
The End



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