Almost A Spinster
A You Tell Me the Story Collection

Jenna Petersen

Check out these other books by Jenna Petersen:

Scandalous
From London With Love (Lady Spies Book 1)
Desire Never Dies (Lady Spies Book 2)
Seduction is Forever (Lady Spies Book 3)
Lessons From a Courtesan
Her Notorious Viscount
Rogue for a Night
What the Duke Desires (Billingham Bastards Book 1)
The Unclaimed Duchess (Billingham Bastards Book 2)

And Coming in August 2011…
A Scoundrel’s Surrender (Billingham Bastards Book 3)

Copyright Jesse Petersen, 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission. For information address Jenna Petersen, PO Box 6205, Bloomington, IL 61702

Dear Readers:

Back in 2005-2006, I wrote these three stories as interactive novellas. At the end of each chapter, I would offer readers three choices of what would happen next. After voting closed, I wrote what the readers picked. The following novellas are the result. Thank you to everyone who participated during this time. And enjoy the stories!

Jenna Petersen

Her Every Desire

Chapter One

“I want you to seduce Madeline Reynolds.”

Wesley Hughes nearly spit his brandy across the room as he watched Lady Jane Davenport place her hands on her hips and stare at him as she waited for a reply. When he was unable to give an answer, irritation flashed in her sparkling brown eyes.

“Did you not hear me?” she asked, folding her arms. Her slippered toe tapped beneath the hem of her gown.

Slowly, he straightened up from the mantle where he had been leaning upon her entry. “I heard you perfectly, Lady Jane,” he said, watching her with caution. “But I don’t think I understood you.”

She came across the room with pinched lips, but as she moved closer, he could see she had been crying. Her brown eyes were rimmed red with emotion and pale tracks of tears shimmered on her cheeks when the firelight hit her just so. His heart clenched at the sight. He had known Jane for over a year, but he had never seen her so upset. A desire to comfort her filled him.

He pushed aside the sudden reaction to her tears.

“How can you not understand?” she asked as she drew in a shuddering breath that seemed to calm her a bit. “We have known each other long enough that I think I can speak plainly with you.”

He arched an eyebrow. “More plainly than you just did?”

The corner of her mouth turned up slightly and his heart clenched again. But this time for a far different reason. Desire… the kind he always had to tame when he was near Jane, rushed through his bloodstream.

“The rumors of your amorous affairs.” Jane blushed as she tangled a loose strand of chestnut hair around her gloved fingertip before she continued, “Everyone, even the unmarried debutantes, has heard rumors of your rakish ways. So certainly you must understand the words, ‘I want you to seduce Madeline Reynolds’.”

He frowned. “Yes, I understand the words perfectly well. What I don’t understand is why you think I would do such a thing. Better still, why would you want such a thing done?”

Actually, he knew exactly why Jane wanted what she demanded. But he wanted her to say it out loud. He needed to hear the words.

Jane’s forward bravado went out of her in a rush as she sat, no collapsed on the nearest settee. She let out a long sigh before she lifted her face toward his and whispered, “You should have remained in the ballroom, my lord. David and Madeline just announced their engagement.”

Wesley closed his eyes and forced himself not to wince. He had known his best friend would be announcing his engagement tonight. He had even begged David to be honest with Jane and tell her before she was humiliated and hurt. But trust David to be too cowardly.

With a start, Wes realized that was the reason he had slipped away just before the big moment. He’d told himself he wanted a moment’s peace and a stronger drink, but in reality he hadn’t wanted to look at Jane’s face when David made the announcement. To see her shock and heartbreak. Or the tears that he couldn’t ignore shimmering in her eyes now.

“You do not look surprised.”

Wesley opened his eyes and found Jane watching him closely. He couldn’t lie to her.

“I’m not.”

She drew away slightly and the betrayal that already darkened her face grew even more pronounced. “You knew and you didn’t warn me?”

Guilt assaulted him, but he shrugged. “It wasn’t my place, Jane.”

She shook her head. “Not your place? You have watched me with David for over a year. You’ve heard me speak of my feelings for him. Watched him show me those same emotions in return. You and I have become…” She hesitated. “I thought we had become friends.”

Stepping toward her, he held up a hand. “We are friends.”

“If we were friends, why didn’t you spare me this humiliation?”

He dipped his head with a quiet sigh. Why hadn’t he? Because he didn’t want to cause Jane that pain. Because he didn’t want to have to convince her that David, like so many other men in their circles, held rank and money above the calling of his heart. Jane’s family had lost its fortune two years ago after a disastrous card game which society still whispered about. Even though David had allowed her pursuit, even encouraged her feelings to develop into something deeper, Wes had known his friend never would have truly entertained a union with Jane. David wanted money. An advantageous match to plump his own waning purse.

Madeline Reynolds was the daughter of a very rich, very powerful Duke. Marrying her would give David access to his new bride’s enormous dowry, as well as a solid connection to one of the most powerful men in the ton.

“I’m sorry, Jane,” he said softly, longing to reach out and touch her face, to swipe away her tears. Perhaps even kiss them away.

But he wouldn’t. Wesley had never touched her and he never would. Not while she believed she loved his best friend.

“Sorry?” She struggled to her feet and paced away to the window. When she turned back, her face had hardened. The tears were gone. “I don’t want your pity, I want your help.”

He rolled his eyes. Jane was implacable, as always. Once the stubborn chit got it in her head that she wanted something, it was nearly impossible to convince her otherwise. Sometimes he wondered if her ‘love’ for David was a product of that stubborn streak and habit rather than true feeling.

But that was probably wishful thinking.

“Forgive me, but why the hell do you care anyway?” he snapped. “If David isn’t sensible enough to choose love over money or station, why would you want him? You could easily find someone else.”

Her face paled a shade and her fingers fisted at her sides. For a brief moment, he thought he saw a flash of fear and regret darken her eyes.

“Could I, Wes?” she whispered as she broke eye contact. Her shoulders rolled forward in defeat. “I think you’re being too kind. My lack of a decent dowry thanks to my father’s poor choices have already limited my chances in the marriage mart. Even if they hadn’t, publicly aligning myself and my affections with just one man has chased away anyone willing to take pity on me and make an offer for reasons beyond money.”

Wesley opened his mouth to speak, wanting to comfort her, but could find no words. She was correct. Saying otherwise would only be placating her. Jane would see through that in a moment and resent it.

Her gaze lifted again and her brown eyes snared his. He found himself lost, longing for things he already knew he couldn’t have. Then she shook her head.

“And now David has taken my position even further over the edge of no return by throwing me over for a boring, plain, humorless twit like Madeline Reynolds!”

Wesley arched an eyebrow. “Ah, I can see now why I would jump at the chance to seduce her.”

Jane stared at him for a moment in stunned silence, then her frown twitched upward and she laughed. He could have lost himself in that sound forever.

“You idiot,” she teased, but her smile fell far too soon. “I know it’s asking so much of you.”

He took an unbidden step toward her as shock coursed through him. “So you still wish me to do this?”

Jane lifted one shoulder up in a halfhearted shrug, but didn’t reply.

In three steps, he crossed the room and caught her arms. A spark flashed as he felt her silky, warm skin beneath his own and he let her go just as quickly. The intensity was too powerful.

“I-” he stammered, nearly forgetting what he meant to say. With a shake of his head, he collected himself. “Madeline is the woman my best friend intends to marry. Not only would seducing her destroy our friendship, but if I succeeded at wooing her away from David and getting her into my bed, I would likely end up married to her myself. Or worse, in a duel with her father over her honor. And I assure you, the Duke is an excellent shot.”

Jane was silent for a moment, her breath coming short. “I-I hadn’t considered that.”

“I’m so glad you thought this plan through before you demanded I take part in it,” he said with an exasperated groan. He moved to turn away, but she caught his arm. Again, a shock of awareness rocketed through him. It was clear he’d been right to avoid touching Jane if this overwhelming, knee shaking lust was to be his reaction every time they did.

“There must be a way.” Her desperation was plain as she shifted her weight and pondered her situation. With every passing moment, her expression grew wilder. “I understand why you cannot seduce her. But her reputation could still be damaged by you, couldn’t it? You’re a well-documented rake-”

He pulled his arm away. “They keep documents on such things, do they? I would love to see the repository.”

With a roll of her eyes, she continued, “Just being alone with you could make her an undesirable candidate for marriage.”

He leaned closer and breathed in the warm fragrance of her hair. Sweet like ripe berries. “You are alone with me this very moment.”

A weary sigh escaped her lips, as if she were only just bearing his protests. “With the door wide open. And everyone knows we have been friends for an age. No one would suspect there was anything more between us if they found us together. But with her, it would be different.”

His brow arched up. He had allowed her this ridiculousness long enough.

“You would destroy another woman’s reputation, her chances at making any kind of a good match, just to gain David’s affections? A man who has allowed you to believe you had a chance at his heart and his hand because he was too thoughtless to be honest with you from the very beginning?” He shook his head. “I thought I knew you better, Jane.”

For a moment, her face tensed, a perfectly still mask. Then it twisted in horror and he saw his tone and words had sunk beneath her skin, into her currently illogical mind where it cleared some of the emotional haze. Her hand came up to cover her lips and the tears that had been gathered in the corner of her eyes trickled down her cheeks.

“You’re right. Of course, you’re right.” She drew in a shallow breath. “It would be unfair of me to destroy Madeline. After all, it isn’t her fault that David chose her over me.”

Wes watched as she rubbed her hands over her exposed arms, smoothing over gooseflesh that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room.

“What can I do? David seemed to care for me once. How can I convince him that a match with her will never bring him the happiness he would find in a union with me? There must be a way!”

Wesley scrubbed a hand over his face. Her plaintiff tone had an effect on him, even if her words grated across his senses. He wanted to help her. Not to return David’s affections to her. That wasn’t going to happen, no matter what she believed.

But there were other ways to make her see that what she thought she desired wasn’t what she truly required. That there was more to her life than chasing some empty dream and the empty life that would accompany it if she won what she sought.

He looked at her. Jane was so beautiful. And he knew from the fragile friendship they had formed that her beauty went deeper than outward appearances. She was intelligent and had a wit that matched even his. Despite her uncharacteristic order to him this evening, she was kind, with a protective streak that flashed forth when she perceived an injustice. She would make some man a very good wife if she could regain her status in the ranks of the debutantes. If only the men of their station who didn’t require funds could be made to see just how desirable she was as a mate.

How?

“Men are very simple, Jane,” he said softly.

She glanced up at him in question. “Not very. I cannot seem to solve the riddles your sex presents.”

“Yes, we are.” He laughed, though the humor of this situation was fading along with the shock. “Once we believe a woman’s heart belongs to us, we think it should stay with us forever, even if we no longer pursue it.”

She cocked her head. “I don’t understand.”

He sat down in a chair beside the fire and looked up at her, watching her every move. “The same is true for our desire for the unattainable. What we never knew we desired, we come to crave when it is possessed by another. If you can harness those things, you could have any man falling at your feet.” He grasped his forgotten drink from the side table and took a swig. “Perhaps even David.”

Her mouth thinned as she took her own place in the settee across from him and looked at him appraisingly. “I think I take your meaning. If I make David-”

“Or the other eligible men of our society,” he interrupted.

She frowned. “If I make them believe that I am desired by another, it will attract their interest.” She pondered that for a moment, rolling the concept around in her head. The soft brown of her gaze snared his, enflaming desire he tried to conceal by shifting his position. “But is that really true? Women are pursued by men every day, they become engaged season after season, but they are not suddenly set upon by new suitors dying for their hand.”

He cleared his throat. “They would be if they captured the attention of a much-sought after gentleman. One no lady has ever been able to tame. If a lady did that, she would become a diamond of the ton. And if she later threw that gentleman over and it was clear he mourned the loss of her affection, then she would be turning away offers from suitors within the month.”

Her eyes widened as the truth of his statement became clear. For the first time since she stormed into the room and demanded his help, hope flickered in her stare. The thought that he had put such emotion there swelled his chest with pride.

“Let us assume this is true,” she said, pressing a finger to her full bottom lip. The action drew Wesley’s attention there and his own lips burned with a desire to kiss her. One he ignored with difficulty. “It isn’t as if the kind of gentleman you describe is around every corner, or that he would allow me to use him in such a fashion. Why would he do so? It would only tarnish his reputation.”

His thoughts drifted to his own life. “He would only go along if pretending to fall in love and become engaged would suit his own purposes or bring him some benefit.”

“Such as?”

Were his hands actually trembling? He fisted them in his lap. “You have met my grandmother, yes?”

Slowly, she nodded, but this apparent change of subject clearly confused her. “Lady Stanton. I met her when I first came out in society. She was very kind to me.”

“Then perhaps you have heard she has taken ill.” The very act of saying the words brought him enormous pain. Emotion he shoved away.

She dipped her head. “Yes. My mother mentioned it. I am sorry, Wes. Is it serious?”

“I’m afraid so.” He thought of how frail his grandmother had been the last time he came to her. “The doctors say it is a matter of weeks before she will be taken from us.”

Jane was on her feet in an instant and took a step toward him. When she placed her hand on his to comfort him, her warmth seeped into his blood and spread throughout his body. Both giving him the comfort she had meant and desire he doubted she would understand.

“Oh, Wesley!”

“She has lived a good life,” he said and at least he knew that was true. “She raised me after my parents were killed and loved me as deeply as any mother could her son.”

“I didn’t know,” she murmured and her grip on his hand tightened.

He got to his feet and pulled away before he did something rash like drag her into his lap and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. “During the last year or so, she has often expressed to me her desire to see me settled before she dies.”

She smiled softly. “Of course, she would want to know you were loved, taken care of, before she left this world.”

He started at her keen observation. “I-I suppose,” he stammered. He met her gaze evenly. “And that is exactly the kind of reason a ‘well-documented rake’ would play along with a courting charade like the one I described to you.”

For a moment, her face was still, but then his statement seemed to sink in and her eyes grew impossibly wide and bright with emotion. She swallowed hard and stammered, “W-Wesley?”

“Pretend to court with me, Jane. If we can convince the ton, convince the world that you have tamed me, then we may both receive what we desire. I will give the woman who raised me her dying wish. And you will become the most sought after woman in society.” He watched her mouth drop open in shock and reached out to take both her hands in his. “Jane, will you pretend to fall madly in love with me?”

Chapter Two

Jane opened her mouth, but could find no words. Even if she had, there wasn’t breath enough in her lungs to say them. A false courtship with Wesley Hughes, Lord Stanton, one of the biggest rakes in London… not to mention one of her best friends? It was ludicrous. Ridiculous.

So why was a little thrill pulsing through her bloodstream? One that felt both out of place… and yet natural. And why was that thrill accompanied by a strange heat low in her belly? Not unpleasant, but entirely unsettling. Something that made her blush when she dared to meet Wesley’s eyes.

He hadn’t moved since he proposed his false courtship. He stood before her, watching her with those keen green eyes, as sharp as a hawk’s. They saw everything. And right now they were focused entirely on her. Delving into her soul, into secret places she hadn’t known existed. Places that stirred as she realized he continued to hold her trembling hand in his.

She pulled back out of instinct. It was only nervous shock at his offer that had her so out of sorts. Certainly there was no other reason. No purpose to becoming a complete ninny around one of her closest friends. Especially since she had been in love with David for nearly two years.

“Jane?” he said softly. His voice strummed over her emotions like a harpsichordist’s fingers and the vibrations echoed through her every nerve ending. “Do you understand what I’m asking you?”

She pursed her lips. “Of course I understand, Wesley.”

But somehow that felt like a lie. There were undercurrents all around that she wasn’t sure she fully comprehended. Tensions which hadn’t made themselves clear before tonight. Had they always been there?

“Do you intend to answer me?” he asked with a gravelly chuckle.

She covered her hot cheeks with icy fingers. How could she answer him? He was asking her to pretend to be in love with him. He was asking her to lie to the world. To lie to herself. Between this unexpected offer and David’s engagement to Madeline, her evening was spiraling out of control.

She hesitated. David and Madeline. For some reason she hadn’t thought about them since Wesley’s suggestion. The pain of David’s rejection was muted by Wesley’s shocking words.

“Wes,” she began, still unsure of what to say. What to do. “I-I-”

He moved closer, shrinking the world with that one step. Suddenly the room felt warm and the walls seemed to close in around her. She watched as his hand lifted, came toward her… and finally, finally, brushed her cheek. Tingling shocks of awareness blasted through her, taking her breath a second time.

“It isn’t a trick question, Jane,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I am asking you if you will help me. And in return I’ill help you. I’m asking you to spend a few scant weeks as the center of the ton’s attention. To spin around ballrooms as my partner. To walk with me. Laugh with me. Make everyone believe that we are falling in love.” He leaned a bit closer. “You will begin to hurt my feelings if you keep staring at me as if I’ve asked you to declare your undying allegiance to Napoleon.”

Jane blinked as she lost herself in Wesley’s eyes a second time. There were little mossy flecks of brown in the curtain of green. Why hadn’t she noticed them before?

With a start, she realized she wanted to say yes. Not to the false proposal, but to the ballroom spinning and the walking and the laughing… to the dream of falling in love and having that love returned.

She was truly losing her senses.

“Wesley-”

“There you are!”

Jane started, pulling away as she spun to the parlor door. Her best friend, Felicity Ellis, was standing just inside the door. Felicity’s blue eyes widened as they flitted from Jane to Wesley and back again.

“Felicity,” Jane gasped, clutching a trembling fist over her heart. “You startled me.”

One of her friend’s auburn brows arched. “Apparently you were deep in conversation. Good evening, Lord Stanton.”

Wesley smiled, but the expression was forced. Jane felt him look at her, his eyes filled with frustration and questions and… something else. “Good evening, Lady Felicity. You are looking very well this evening.”

Her friend’s pale cheeks darkened with a pink blush. “Thank you, my lord.”

Jane watched as Wesley stepped forward, his strained smile replaced by something warmer. More friendly and real. And flirtatious. Her heart leapt and for the first time ever, she wished her best friend weren’t so very pretty. And charming. And blessed with a family with more sense than Jane’s own. Felicity had a fortune for her dowry. She never need face the rejection Jane did… or worry about her future.

“I have heard rumors that your father is planning a gathering Wednesday next,” Wes was saying, though his words seemed far away to Jane’s ringing ears. “And that you will please the crowd with your beautiful pianoforte playing.”

Felicity’s blush deepened. She loved music and hoped to be accomplished at playing it. Clearly, Wes knew that fact. Jane’s chest burned with emotions, ones she hardly understood.

“I only hope not to embarrass myself,” Felicity laughed. “If I please the crowd, I will count the evening a glorious success.”

Wes gave a sure nod. “Then so it shall be. I heard you play two years ago and it was enchanting. Certainly, time will have only improved your talent.”

Her friend’s smile grew. “Perhaps my father will invite you and you will be able to judge that yourself.”

“Felicity,” Jane said, surprised at the rasping break in her voice and the jerky quality to her movements as she stepped forward.

Her friend turned from Wesley and her eyes went wide when she looked at Jane. She took a long step forward, grabbing Jane’s arm. “Jane, are you well? You are very pale.”

She nodded, glancing at Wes even as she tried to formulate a reply to her friend. He was watching her, concern plain in his expression, all flirtatiousness he’d exchanged with Felicity gone.

“It has been a tiring evening,” Jane admitted, casting her glance away from him. It was ridiculous how emotionally she had reacted to him earlier. And how difficult it was to watch him with her friend. He was known as a rake, a rogue. Why was she been surprised by him proving that? Certainly she had seen him flirt with young ladies before.

But never after asking her to court, even in an imaginary courtship, with him.

“Of course it has,” Felicity soothed, pulling her closer. “I’m sorry, I was being entirely insensitive and forgot why I came looking for you. My mother has taken ill with a headache and would like to retire. Since you…” She hesitated. “Since you had your own trials this evening, I thought you might like to depart early with us.”

Jane looked at her friend and any petty, unexpected jealousy she felt toward her faded. Felicity had always been loyal and kind to her. After her father’s public humiliation a few years before, Jane had seen many of her ‘friends’ turn away. But Felicity and her family remained true. Felicity’s presence insured Jane was rarely given the cut direct. And if she was… her friend was the one who made sure she didn’t creep away in humiliation.

“Thank you,” Jane whispered. “It has been a trying and-and…” Peeking over her shoulder, she caught Wesley’s eye. “And unexpected evening. I would very much like to leave with you.”

“Very good.” Felicity smiled, sad and kind at the same time, then turned to Wesley. “I hope you do not mind if I steal her away, Lord Stanton.”

Wesley did not look at her friend, but instead his mossy stare snared her own. Held her captive so she couldn’t have turned away even if she wanted to.

“Of course not,” he answered with a proper bow.

Felicity took Jane’s arm and guided her toward the door. Jane followed her friend’s lead, uncertain she could do anything else. Her mind spun with everything she had experienced… everything she felt in the past hour. David’s engagement. Wesley’s offer. Her own strange, inexplicable reaction to his words, his touch, his flirtation with her closest friend.

They had reached the door when Wesley’s voice called them back. “Jane?”

She froze, steeling herself and hoping she was able to cover her turbulent emotions when she turned. “Yes?”

“Perhaps I will come to call on you tomorrow afternoon to finish our talk. I hope you will think about what we discussed.”

She stared at him, seeing Wes in an entirely different light. Slowly, she nodded. “I will think of nothing else, my lord. Good evening.”

#

“Lord Stanton to see you, my lady.”

Jane’s fingers curled around the spine of her book and her breath left her lungs in an instant. She sat up a bit straighter, forcing herself to speak when all she wanted to do was hide.

“Tell him I will receive him.”

Her butler nodded as he slipped out to fetch Wesley. She took the opportunity to straighten her gown, run a hand over her hair and try to force some level of calm when that was the last thing she felt.

Somehow she had hoped the distance of a night would help her conquer her fluttering stomach, her confusion about Wesley’s offer. It had not. Instead, she tossed and turned in her bed, tormented by dreams she could not fully recall. The morning light brought no further peace. Since she rose, she had watched both the clock and the door, waiting for him to make his promised appearance… and hoping she would know what to say and do when he did.

As if on cue, the parlor door opened to reveal her butler a second time. “Lord Stanton.”

Wesley came around the man and Jane’s breath caught at his handsomeness. And when he smiled, that cocky little half-grin that stirred some hidden part of herself, her breath went to nonexistent. Why was she having such powerful reactions?

“Good afternoon,” she managed to croak, salvaging some vestige of her manners. As her butler exited, she tried to smile. “My father is not home at present and my mother is indisposed… a headache.”

She frowned. That wasn’t entirely true. Her mother was actually abed bemoaning Jane’s humiliation the night before. And her father was at White’s, hiding from the guilt he felt whenever he stepped foot in the house and saw the damage his gambling had done. Not that the guilt stopped him. No doubt he was filling his name in on the wager ledgers even as they spoke.

“I’m sorry to hear your mother is not well, but I am not here to see either of them, and you know that.” The corner of Wesley’s mouth tilted into a smile.

She bobbed out a nod and motioned to the settee across from her own chair. Wesley took it and she couldn’t not help but notice the way he filled the chair, dwarfing it… along with everything else in the room. His presence was as large as his tall, muscular frame.

“I assume you have considered my offer of a false courtship,” he said as he cast a careful glance at the partly open doorway.

She nodded. “Yes. It is all I have thought about since I left the ball last night.”

“And what is your decision?” His casual drawl said he didn’t have any emotion about her choice one way or the other, but his sharp glance in her direction told her otherwise.

Jane staggered to her feet, breaking the eye contact that so confused her. She walked to the window, staring down at the gardens which had once been so well-tended, but now were as wild as her emotions.

“Everything you said to me last night made perfect sense,” she began. “To regain David’s interest or to make myself attractive to the men of the ton who are not in need of a wife with a large dowry, I must bring attention to myself.”

She winced at the thought. It was utterly humiliating that she had to force the affections of a man she once thought loved her. Or that she had to put herself on display like a peacock in order to make some other man accept her with all her family’s problems.

She glanced over her shoulder to find Wesley watching her. Thank God there was no pity in his stare. She didn’t think she could take that. She’d seen enough of it from the rest of Society, along with catty glee, last night at the ball.

Drawing a breath, she continued, “And a courtship with you would certainly bring me attention. But…” she trailed off, unsure what to say.

“But?” Wes got to his feet, taking a few long strides in her direction. “What makes you hesitate?”

She bit her lip. How was she to explain that sudden, unexplained emotion had reared its head? That she feared it. Feared the way Wesley looked at her and the fact that when she was with him, she hardly thought of David at all. Feared losing his friendship if she could not control these reactions.

But if she said those things, he would surely laugh at her. He wasn’t looking for an authentic courtship any more than she. And if he was, he would look to a woman with a dowry, without scandal to sully her name.

Not to mention that she loved Wesley’s best friend, even if that hadn’t been in the forefront of her mind in the last twelve hours.

“Is it my reputation?” Wesley took another step and closed the gap separating them completely. “I promise I won’t do anything to make you seem foolish, Jane. While we pretend this connection, I will not make a rake of myself. It would defeat both our purposes.”

She started. Him making a spectacle of her was the furthest thing from her mind. Despite what everyone said of him, she knew he was not capable of that kind of cruelty. Not to her.

“Would that be difficult for you?” she whispered.

He met her stare and for a moment she thought she saw a brief flash of sadness, buried deep.

“Not as difficult as either of us might imagine,” he murmured. Then his seriousness was replaced by his usual good humor. “What do you say, Jane? Will you take this chance with me? Make my grandmother happy in her final days and give yourself a fighting chance in the marriage mart?”

She drew in a sharp breath. There was little choice. If she wanted to marry, if she had any hope of regaining David’s affection… or at the very least, his regret he chose Madeline Reynolds’ purse over her love, she had to do as Wesley proposed.

“Yes,” she whispered, her head dipping down.

“Very good!” Wesley cried with a clap of his hands.

His green eyes lit up with pleasure so pure, it surprised her. She knew he had a great deal of regard for his grandmother, but there seemed to be more to his reaction than that. He seemed to really care that Jane had agreed to his plan.

“We have much to prepare,” Wesley continued, dragging her from her thoughts. “We need to make a good show of it, of course. Come out in public at the biggest event of the Season. That would be Lord and Lady Davenport’s ball in two days.”

Jane nodded, numbed. Gone was the emotion that had flashed between them. Now Wesley was all business, plotting out their ruse. Perhaps she had only imagined the pleasure in his reaction, the heat of his stare… or he had used those things as a tool to garner what he desired. If that were true, she would have to be very careful.

“Jane?” he asked, his brow wrinkling. “Are you listening?”

She managed a nod. “Yes. Of course.”

“Good, then I will escort you to the ball that night. Until then…” He gave her a short bow as he backed toward the door.

Jane’s eyes went wide. “Wait!” she cried. “That’s all? No other plans than that we will attend the Davenport Ball together?”

Wesley stopped, his eyes shining. “Oh no, there are many more plans, Jane.”

“Such as?” she asked, folding her arms.

He was keeping her in the dark, and she knew from bitter experience that being unaware was dangerous. Her father’s secrets had hurt her family. David’s had hurt her.

“You shall see,” he said with a wink. “For now, I must go so I can start planting the seeds of our courtship.” With a grin, he turned away and left the parlor. “I will see you in two nights.”

Jane opened her mouth to protest, but he was already gone. She sank back into the settee with a sigh. What in the world had she just agreed to? And how could she regain control of her future and her heart?

Chapter Three

It was all too easy.

Wesley settled back in a comfortable chair in the parlor and watched the door. Waiting. Anticipating. By the time this evening was over, the seeds of his ‘courtship’ with Jane would be planted.

And Jane would have a little bit of justice.

The door came open and David Langston stepped into the parlor. David had been his best friend for as long as Wesley could remember, and yet his reaction to seeing him this night was the bristling of the hair on the back of his neck. Where he normally felt an affectionate tolerance for his friend’s sometimes selfish tendencies, this evening an unaccountable anger filled his chest.

Especially when David smiled in that blank way, flipped a lock of blond hair away from his eyes, and said, “Wes! Good to see you. Never got to thank you for your help with Jane last night. That was an awkward situation, but since I didn’t see her sobbing openly, I suppose you saved me.”

Wesley arched a brow as he got to his feet. Drawing a calming breath, he tried to remember all the reasons he liked David. They had been friends since boyhood and David had always included Wes in his family’s activities. He’d been more than willing to allow Wes to turn to his own father for advice since Wesley had none of his own.

Wesley remembered all those thing, and yet resentment still tingled in his veins.

“Is that all you have to say?”

His best friend shrugged in surprise as he shut the parlor door behind him. “What else is there?”

Wesley clenched a fist behind his back. “You made Jane look a fool in front of the entire ton when you know full well that her family’s reputation could not withstand such a blow. Worse yet, you hurt her.”

He winced as he remembered her tear-streaked face. Her claims that any chance of a future were ruined. And the knowledge that her claim was true if he couldn’t help her. Yet David seemed to feel little remorse as he crossed the room to pour himself a drink.

“Yes, it’s a beastly business, isn’t it?” he said as he bit his lower lip. “I do feel badly. Jane is a wonderful girl. And if I could have, I would have given her what she desired… but surely she had to have known my family’s need for a good match would ultimately keep me from making her any promises.”

Rage bubbled higher, burning Wesley’s throat, blurring his vision. Why was he reacting this way? Nothing his friend said came as any surprise to him. Wesley had always known David to be a selfish creature. He, like so many others of their circle, had never known heartache or hardship. They had been raised in utter privilege. With no rules or boundaries. Wes had never seen the harm in their wild behavior… until now. Until Jane.

“How could she have known, David?” he ground out through clenched teeth. “When she came out in society, you were the first to behave as if her family’s reduced position meant nothing. You never led her to believe anything except that you were serious about your intentions. You let her make public her affection for you. You encouraged her to cut herself off from any other suitor. Are you now saying you never had any intention to make an offer for her?”

He held his breath as he awaited David’s answer. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for. Perhaps that David really had been placed into a corner by his family’s demands. Perhaps that he loved Jane… because if he didn’t then that meant Jane had wasted her time caring for him.

And that Wesley had wasted his time keeping a distance out of respect for a relationship that never really existed.

But when David cocked his head in confusion, Wesley didn’t need to hear his reply. It was as evident as the moon that cut through the cloudless night.

“I could never offer for her, Stanton,” David said, reverting to Wesley’s title as he always did when he was trying to defend some ridiculous action. “No matter how much I like her, her family’s financial situation… her father’s reputation…”

“But you always behaved as if those things didn’t matter to you,” he insisted.

Jane had often remarked about David’s utter acceptance of her family’s state. He knew it meant the world to her. Had even been a part of why she thought herself in love with him.

David shrugged. “Because it had nothing to do with me whatsoever. Her financial and social status would never prevent me from being a friend to her, of course, but marry-”

Wesley didn’t allow David to finish before he was on his feet. He reached him in three long steps, grasping David’s dandified collar as he pushed him back against the wall. David was nearly the same height as Wes, but unlike him, David had to pad his clothing to give the illusion of muscular definition. In a fight, there would be no match.

What was happening? How had it come to this? With him ready to hit David. David looking at him with confused and terrified brown eyes. Wesley’s blood running hot as he thought about the muck David had made out of Jane’s life. How could his friend be so utterly stupid and blindly cruel?

“You idiot,” he growled, pushing David against the wall once, hard before he let him go and backed away. This was madness. He had to stop. He’d come here to lay the seeds of his pretend courtship, not challenge his friend to a fight… which was the next step in this encounter that was spiraling out of control so damned quickly.

David straightened his mangled collar as he stared in disbelief at Wes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“How can you ask me that? You have ruined Jane… you have ruined her hopes. Destroyed her future.”

David seemed to have recovered himself, for he stepped forward and snapped, “You sound as if you care! As if you have some stake in what happens to her!”

Wes drew a few deep breaths to calm his racing pulse. This was the perfect opportunity to regain purchase on the situation.

“Yes,” he said, his voice nothing more than a harsh whisper. “I suppose I do. And I shouldn’t be angry for what you did because it-it opened a door I have long wished to pass through.”

David’s eyes widened slightly. “A door?”

Wesley clenched and unclenched his fists. Why couldn’t he catch his breath? “Jane. Your callous dismissal of her has allowed me an opening to her heart. And I intend to take it. In fact, when I comforted her last night after your engagement, I took the first steps in creating a new bond with her.”

David shifted uncomfortably as he looked his friend up and down. “You and Jane?”

Wesley nodded as he tried to dismiss how easily the words fell from his mouth. It took no effort to claim a desire for Jane’s affection. A desire to take the place David once claimed in her heart… in her life.

The emotions that coursed through him… the anger at David’s callousness, the pain at the hurt he’d caused Jane, the need to protect her… they were all too real.

And they went deeper than physical attraction. He’d never admitted that to himself before because of David, but now… Now everything became clear.

His feelings for her crystallized.

David’s rude snort interrupted the dangerous path of Wesley’s thoughts. He shook his head to clear away the cobwebs and shot his friend a glare.

“What does that mean?” he asked, folding his arms, if only to keep from putting a fist through David’s face.

“I simply cannot believe you would pursue Jane. You, the most notorious rake in London. You, who has never spent more than a week with the same woman.” David chuckled. “I’ve always envied that, but I never had the funds to maintain such a lifestyle. Perhaps after the wedding, eh?”

David grinned at him and Wes saw his friend was trying to close the gap that had been put between them earlier, but he could not bring himself to accept the olive branch. Here David stood, completely uncaring of the damage he had done, joking about the future of his infidelity, not a day after his engagement.

And it made Wesley sick. Reputation or not, he couldn’t bear the callousness… the unfeeling nature of his ‘friend’. It was like his eyes had been opened. Perhaps their friendship had ended years ago… but he’d never noticed it until Jane stepped between them and dared him to be a better man. Dared him to make himself worthy of her smiles and laughter.

One thing was certain… David was worthy of neither.

“I came here to insure you won’t interfere with my courtship with Jane,” he said, straightening to his full height. “That you won’t make things difficult for her.”

David’s forehead wrinkled. “You’re serious. You’re really going to pursue her!”

“I am.” He met his friend’s eyes, daring challenge. And in a way hoping David would meet it. He wouldn’t mind finishing the physical fight.

David shrugged. “I won’t interfere, of course. If you want my leavings, you’re welcome to them.”

Under normal circumstances, Wesley would have punched his friend for such a comment. Instead, he turned on his heel and started for the door because he knew that what David said was true.

Wesley wanted Jane. No, it was more than that. As he stalked out of the room, David’s voice echoing after him, he realized he loved Jane.

He loved Jane. The realization nearly brought him to his knees in David’s foyer. Yet, it wasn’t a realization at all. It was just a fact. As much a part of his being as if he’d been shocked by the fact his eyes were green or his hair was brown.

He loved Jane.

But for now… she loved David.

#

Jane took Wesley’s arm as he helped her from the carriage and led her toward the pillared doorway of Lord and Lady Ketterick’s home. As she glanced up at the opulent manor, she forced a smile. She should have been excited… nervous. After all, this would be the first time she and Wesley made their ‘courtship’ public and verified the rumors running wild throughout London society.

But instead, she was worried. And not about their deception. About Wes.

She sent a glance toward him. Just as it had been since he arrived at her home to escort her, his jaw was set in a harsh line, like he was clenching his teeth. While they normally exchanged easy pleasantries, tonight he’d been curt and incommunicative.

Was he regretting his offer to help her?

Hurt slashed through her at that thought, but she shoved it aside. Hurt! That was ridiculous. If he wished to renege on his offer, it would make her situation more difficult, but there was no reason for it to hurt. There was nothing between them beyond their friendship.

A little voice inside her called her a liar, but she closed her ears to its insistent taunting and forced a false smile to her companion.

“Is anything wrong?” she asked, squeezing his arm to draw his attention.

His eyes focused on her, suddenly intense and even a little wild. “No, of course not,” he said, too quickly to be believed. As if he was holding something back.

Her nervousness doubled. “Are you having doubts about this arrangement?” she asked as they passed through the doorway. The foyer was crowded with other guests awaiting entrée to the ballroom beyond and they were slowed in their progress.

He tilted his head and though she wouldn’t have thought it possible, his gaze grew darker until it was close to emerald. She was drawn to him… even felt herself swaying toward him until she caught the slight motion and righted herself.

“Are you having second thoughts, Jane?” he asked, his voice suddenly soft.

She shook her head. “No. This is my only choice.”

He winced at that observation, then covered his reaction with a smile that was anything but warm. “Yes. We’ve established that.”

He turned his face and she had the uncomfortable feeling that this might be the last time they spoke that night. Why was he being so odd? Like her words affected him, bothered him. Or something else did.

“Did-did you speak to David?” she stammered, reaching for something to keep him talking, make him look at her.

His shoulders stiffened and she felt his arm tense before he sent a brief glance her way. “Yes. Why do you think all Society is talking about our courtship?”

Her eyes widened and she stifled a nervous giggle. So that was where Wesley had gone the afternoon she agreed to his wild deception. And a good choice, too. Not only did it fulfill her purpose in flaunting her desirability to David, but she knew him too well. He had never been discreet when it came to gossip. David wouldn’t be able to keep himself from telling his valet.

The valet had long been pursuing the maid of David’s mother. He would definitely tell the young woman to curry favor. And everyone knew the lady’s maid had an arrangement with her mistress to pass along every snippet of gossip she heard. David’s mother had probably known before breakfast!

As for her discretion… Jane held back a snort. It was nonexistent. She wouldn’t be able to stop herself from telling every Society matron within a few hours, embellishing the details with every recounting of the second or third hand story.

It was brilliant. Yet Wesley still looked tense and angry, not pleased. “Did something go wrong in your meeting?”

He sighed, an almost pained sound. “No. It went exactly as planned.” There was a heartbeat of hesitation. “Almost exactly as I planned. At any rate, he knows about our ‘courtship’.”

“What was his reaction?” she asked, leaning closer in curiosity, even though she had the troubling sensation of not really caring anymore. How easily her feelings, the ones she had nurtured for so long, were fading. Was her heart trying to protect her by forgetting her love for David?

Or was it something else?

Wesley was quiet long enough that she wondered if he heard her question. She was about to repeat it when he sighed. “David was not overly pleased, I don’t think.”

A little smile curled her lips at that thought. Good. Let him regret throwing her over. Let him wish he had chosen differently.

She made a move to step into the ballroom, but Wesley drew her back. When she looked up at him, she was surprised to see him staring at her. Searching her face. Searching deeper, like he could see into her heart and soul. She had the strangest urge to run away. Fast. Keep running.

“Jane, if you show too much interest in David… or in any other man, this deception will never be believed. It may be best to pretend, even when we’re alone, that you only have eyes for me. That way you’ll never slip in your act.”

She hesitated. What Wesley said made perfect sense, of course, but somehow her heart still fluttered wildly at the thought of pretending to be his, not just to the world, but everywhere. How would she act? Wes was one of her best friends. How would she stare into his eyes, the very eyes that were drawing her in, and pretend to love him? Allow herself to pretend he loved her, too.

She jolted as a burst of laughter came from a group of people to their left. Somehow she’d forgotten they were in a crowd. Swallowing past an inexplicable lump in her throat, she whispered, “Yes. Very well.”

She looked down at the arm Wesley offered her a second time, but some part of her faltered. Touching him seemed different somehow. Something had changed, something beyond the deception they were perpetrating against the ton.

“Are you coming?” Wesley whispered, his voice strangely soft and seductive in comparison to the buzzing crowd.

Jane looked into his eyes. Kind eyes, despite his reputation. Eyes that had always reflected an honest regard and friendship for her. But at that moment, it wasn’t friendship that burned hot in his stare. It was something more. Something young ladies of her marital status and station weren’t supposed to recognize. But she did. The pointed, heated nature of his stare called to something wicked inside her.

She shook her head, breaking the contact that seemed to burn. “Y-Yes, of course.”

It took all her balance and concentration not to stumble as she took his arm and they moved into the ballroom at last. She dared to shoot a second glance in his direction and found that the heat was gone from Wesley’s eyes. She could try to pretend it had never been there, but it had. She’d seen it.

And she’d never felt anything remotely like that when she looked at David. Not from him. And never from herself. What did that mean? What did any of it mean?

“Wes, Lady Jane!”

Jane nearly let out a little scream of surprise as David’s voice pierced through her foggy mind. She forced herself to come back to the present to see the man she’d once fancied herself in love with coming across the room. His smile seemed forced as he glanced from Wes to her and back again. For the first time in a long time, her stomach didn’t do flip flops when he looked at her.

“Good evening, David,” Wesley snapped out.

Jane’s eyes widened at the tone of his voice. It was anything but welcoming. She looked between the two men. They were like dogs about to fight. Her heart leapt to her throat. What in the world had happened between them when Wes went to David that night? Was it her fault that these old friends suddenly looked like sworn enemies?

“You look lovely, as always, Lady Jane,” David looked at her, but his eyes still seemed to smirk at Wes.

“Where is your fiancée tonight, David?” Wesley bit out.

“With her father.” David didn’t look away from Jane. “I would dearly love a moment of your time this evening, Jane. Perhaps-”

Wesley made a little sound in his throat. It was incoherent, yet she knew exactly what he meant. He was… angry that David was interfering. Angry… even though this was exactly what she had hoped for when she made the arrangement with Wesley. Wasn’t it? Suddenly she was confused.

“I’m afraid Jane has promised this dance to me, David,” he growled. “And I’m sure her dance card will be filled all night.”

Before Jane could confirm or deny Wesley’s statement, he swept her away and she found herself in his arms on the dance floor.

#

Jane stared out over the terrace to the moonlit gardens far below. It was the first time she’d been alone since she and Wesley arrived at the ball. In the distance, she heard the low sound of laughter and talk from others on the terrace, but she inched further away, farther into the darkness.

She didn’t want to be with people at present.

The night was going well, better than she could have hoped. Already, several of the most eligible men in society had asked her to dance, and the fact that she always returned immediately to Wesley’s side only seemed to make her all the more sought after. She should have been pleased.

But she wasn’t. She was confused and a little hurt. Not because of David, who she had been avoiding all evening thanks to Wesley’s good advice and Felicity’s repetition of that advice. No, it was Wes himself who made her tired head spin madly.

He looked the part of a man falling in love. He attended to her with consideration, but did not hold her hostage at his side, thereby allowing her to be seen. He smiled at her, chatted with her amiably enough… but there was something missing. The light in his eyes was changed, and he grew more and more distant as the evening went on. Their conversation wasn’t the banter, the teasing comfort she expected. Instead, it felt awkward… common. Not like Wes. Not like her.

She didn’t know what had caused this change, but she did know it was all she could think of. When she should have been enjoying herself with the many men who were now falling over themselves to fill her dance card, she was instead looking for Wesley in the crowd. When they were talking in a group, she felt an impatient desire to be alone with him. But when they did find a moment of brief solitude, she didn’t know what to say.

Why was this happening?

“Jane?”

She spun around to find Wesley standing behind her, a flute of champagne in each hand. He gave her a smile, one that made her insides melt a little, and handed her one of the glasses.

“Cheers, my lady. I believe you made headway tonight… and so did I.”

They clinked their glasses together, but Jane didn’t drink. Instead, she watched Wesley’s muscles flex as he tilted his head to look at the stars above.

“Your grandmother will hear about our attending the ball together, she’ll hear the gossip, you mean?” Jane asked.

Wesley didn’t look away from the stars. “My grandmother?” he repeated absently.

She drew back in surprise. Wes didn’t seem to know what she was talking about. His grandmother. The reason he claimed to be involved in this false courtship. Unless there was another.

“You told me she was the reason you wanted to pretend we were falling in love,” she said. “Is there some other purpose, some hidden agenda you haven’t shared with me?”

Wesley’s chin jerked down and he met her eyes with sudden intensity. “What?” He shook his head. “No, of course not, just my grandmother.”

Jane set the full champagne glass down on the stone edge of the terrace wall and put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been so… odd, Wesley. So different and distant since we arrived. Won’t you tell me why? Is there something else going on here that I should know about?”

Wes tilted his head, searching her face as if he was trying to gauge her reaction before he spoke again. “Why do you care, Jane?” he finally asked. “When you came to me a few nights ago, all you cared about was retaining your position at David’s side… or at the very least regaining some position in society. You’re getting what you want from the situation. You are clearly the belle of tonight’s ball and David can’t take his eyes off of you. So why do my reasons for assisting you matter?”

Jane winced. Was that what he thought of her? That she was so focused on her own goals and pleasure that she had no care for him?

“They matter because we’re friends, Wesley!” she said, blinking against the sting of tears. “They matter because I-I-”

She broke off and began to turn away, but Wesley caught her arm and held her steady. His green stare burned into her. “You what, Jane?”

She hesitated. Everything was so strange now. Her heart throbbed, her vision blurred and she felt a strange, overwhelming desire to lean into Wesley… Wesley of all people.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “You know I care for you, I would hate for you to think I didn’t.”

He pulled her arm gently and she took a tiny step closer. Wes’s warmth suddenly surrounded her, his scent, a tangy combination of spice and citrus, teased and tormented her. She tilted her face and her breath caught. He was so close. Inappropriately close. And she wanted him closer.

“You care for me because we’re old friends Jane? Just old friends?” he murmured, his voice seductive and low.

She swallowed. Everything was getting blurry except for Wes. And he was in such sharp focus that he practically gleamed in the moonlight.

“I-I don’t know anymore,” she admitted, then bit back a breath of shock. What was she saying?

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak. Jane knew he was going to question her… but she had no answers. Everything was so mixed up. Her world had gone from perfectly ordered and planned to upside down in a few days. Suddenly everything she knew, everything she believed had been turned on its head and she was lost.

She couldn’t tell Wes the answers to the questions glittering in his eyes because she didn’t know the answers, herself. So she did the only thing she could think of. She stepped a fraction closer, lifted her mouth…

And kissed him.

Chapter Four

Jane was kissing him. Wesley’s mind screamed that fact, as if his body didn’t know it full-well. In fact, his burning blood was reminding him more by the minute as it rushed to incredibly uncomfortable places.

Jane was kissing him. Jane was kissing him. Jane was kissing him.

Over and over the words echoed in his mind until they erased everything else. The questions, the deceptions, the fears… all gone with the sweep of her lips.

Except that she wasn’t really the one kissing him anymore. At some point, he had taken over and was kissing her. Thoroughly.

His arms came around her petite waist, his hands splaying on the small of her back, cradling her against him until not even a whisper could have slipped between their molded bodies. She let out a little whimper that was lost in his mouth as he swept his tongue against the crease of her lips.

She tasted so damn sweet.

He had imagined her flavor so many times over the years he’d lost count. Sometimes it was all he could think about as he watched her across the room, her delectable lips moving while she spoke or smiled or laughed. He’d wondered if she would taste like ripe raspberries or musky vanilla. Fresh mint or tangy citrus.

Now that he breathed her in, stroked his tongue across hers until her knees trembled and she fisted a hand against his chest, he realized he had guessed it wrong every time. Like with all other things, Jane’s flavor was unique. Yes, she was sweet and innocent, but beneath it all, as her breath hitched, he tasted her desire. She might not know it was there, or at least not know it by name, but he felt it in her body’s sway, heard it in every thump of her pounding heart… and he tasted it in the faint desperation and fear of her kiss.

Jane wanted him.

And that was enough to make him forget reason and prudence and everything else in the world but her. His embrace tightened and he found himself guiding her back into the shadows, closer to the stucco wall of the house, farther away from anything that would end this stolen moment. Far, far away from sanity.

Their lips broke contact as her backside hit the wall. Jane’s head yanked up and she stared at him. The glow of the moon was the only light to pierce the deep shadow of the house, but in it, Wesley saw her dark eyes sparkle as she looked at him. He held his breath while he waited, fully expecting her to push him away. And truth be told, he was already formulating his next move once she did so. For one thing was very clear: now that he’d had a taste of Jane, there was no way he would stop himself from working to erase whatever feelings remained for David and making himself the man she wanted for more than just one kiss.

But he didn’t have to make his next move. Instead of pushing him away, instead of bolting from his arms and running as far from him as humanly possible, Jane lifted a trembling hand and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead.

“Wesley?” she whispered.

It was said as a question and he shut his eyes. He couldn’t resist. “I’m going to kiss you again, Jane.”

His voice was harsh with long pent up desire and he let his eyes come open in time to see surprise flash across her face. But it wasn’t unpleasant surprise.

And that was enough.

He dipped his head and took her lips again. Only this time, he didn’t concentrate on that shocked voice inside him that pointed out, yet again, that he and Jane were kissing. Instead, he felt the moment. It was one he’d been waiting for a long time without even realizing it.

Jane’s hands moved up from their fisted position against his chest, winding around his neck where she clung tight, as if she were trusting him to keep her in place, to keep her safe. It was something he wasn’t sure he could do, not when her mouth was so hot on his. And especially not when, with a little groan, she began to kiss him back in earnest. Her reaction was timid at first, but she was a quick study and soon her mouth and tongue collided with his with a need as heavy and deep as his own.

While he kept one hand at the small of her back, Wesley’s other hand moved. He slipped his fingers along the curve of her side, stroking the silky line of her gown with a feather light touch. He moved higher, his hand seeking, his body seeking until he found the swell of her breast. With a shiver, he cupped the globe.

Jane let out a gasp, but she didn’t pull away from the kiss that was growing so hot Wesley was surprised he wasn’t burned by the touch. He tested the weight of her breast. Small but perfect, the nipple already hard to the touch beneath the thin fabric of her gown’s bodice. She was so responsive, despite their surroundings, despite her surprise, despite everything. He couldn’t help but wonder about her surrender if he was free to take this seduction further.

Like to his carriage. His home. His bed.

The thought was almost too much.

“Jane?”

A female voice in the distance cut off those dangerous thoughts and yanked Wesley back to reality. He pulled away from Jane’s lips and realized, with a mixture of arousal and horror, just what a position they were in. He had her pinned against the house, just barely out of sight of whoever it was that was looking for them, Jane’s breast was in his hand and her chin was lifted, trembling as she waited for another kiss.

With difficulty, Wesley managed to back away, removing his offending hand just as Felicity came around the corner and called out her friend’s name a second time.

“Jane? Ja-”

Felicity stopped dead in her tracks and her mouth dropped open. Wesley turned to face the other woman just a moment too late. For her part, Jane hadn’t seemed to realize they’d been interrupted at all. Her eyes were still shut, her body quivering as she leaned against the wall.

“Jane,” Wesley snapped beneath his breath.

Her eyes flew open at his voice and she looked at Felicity and nearly went down on her backside. Clearly, she realized what her friend had seen as much as he did.

A very compromising position. And not the kind they had hoped to orchestrate with their deception. On the contrary, it was the sort that could ruin Jane’s reputation permanently. The kind that could send she and Wesley to the alter.

The idea gave him a very brief, rather terrifying thrill.

Except that if Jane was to become his wife because of this, it would be a marriage of force… not one she desired. And those were not terms he could live with.

“Felicity,” Jane faltered as she stumbled toward her friend. “We were just-I was only-”

Jane’s gaze darted to him, held there for a moment and then high color entered her cheeks. She lifted a hand to touch her lips, swollen from the pressure of his mouth on hers. With a little gasp, she pushed past her friend and disappeared toward the house.

Felicity watched her go, then her blue eyes swung back to Wesley with focused intent and judgment. He shifted beneath the gaze, unsure of how to handle what had just transpired.

“You have the worst timing in the world, Lady Felicity,” he breathed, trying for a cocky grin that fit his reputation, if not the painful pounding of his heart.

One of Felicity’s eyebrows arched delicately. The cocky grin clearly did not impress her.

“Actually, I think I have very good timing, Lord Stanton,” she said with a cool smile. “Imagine if I hadn’t been the one to-er-” She blushed. “To interrupt when I did. Someone else might have caused my friend no end of trouble.”

He pursed his lips. Of course she was correct. “Yes, I realize that.”

“Do you?” Felicity cocked her head. “I hope you do. Because if you hurt her, you will be even worse than David. And I always believed better of you.” She turned her back and walked away.

Her words stinging in his ears, Wesley watched her go, then turned toward the terrace to stare into the inky night with unseeing eyes. His lips burned, his blood boiled and desire more powerful than any he’d felt before made his knees weak. How far was he willing to go?

To get what his heart desired… to win Jane’s heart and more?

#

Jane’s cheeks burned, even though her hands were like ice against her skin. Worse yet, her lips burned, bringing back powerful images and feelings about the way Wesley’s mouth had moved against hers.

When she kissed him, she’d never imagined it would go so far out of control so quickly. So irrevocably. And now everything was changed. Everything.

Even the feelings in her heart.

“Will you stop running?”

She came to a halt in the hallway and turned to find Felicity, her skirt in her fist, hurrying after her. When she stopped in front of Jane, she placed a hand on her stomach and panted to catch her breath.

“Dear Lord, Jane, I thought certain I would never catch you.”

Jane stared at her friend, unable to say anything. What was there to say? Felicity had seen enough to know what had happened between Wesley and her. There was no denying a hidden passion had erupted on the terrace… and she found she didn’t really want to deny it, no matter how wrong that desire was.

“Please say something,” Felicity said softly, her face darkening with concern. “Or I might think Wesley kissed away your sense.”

“Felicity!” Jane snapped, looking around the empty hallway to ensure no one was hidden to hear her friend’s damning sentence.

“There isn’t anyone about,” Felicity said with a roll of her eyes. “And I have to admit, I’m very pleased you have shifted your affections to a more worthy target!” Her friend’s grin was wide enough to appear painful. “When you arrived here tonight and he was so attentive to you, I was hopeful, but now I can admit I always thought Lord Stanton would be a better match for you than his friend.”

Jane drew back. Felicity had always wished her to be with Wesley? She had never known.

But that was ridiculous! Everything Felicity had witnessed that night between the two of them had been part of an elaborate charade.

She thought briefly of the kiss on the terrace and shivered with the memory. Almost everything.

“Stanton may be many things,” Felicity continued, completely unaware that every word only put Jane into more confusion and upset. “But I saw the way he watched you when you ran away… he is truly besotted. And a rake like that, once he settles down, will likely make a true and good husband. Or so my sisters tell me. They have married their own reformed rakes, you know.” Felicity grabbed for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I am pleased for you, Jane. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Jane stared at Felicity, her heart roaring in her ears. Wesley, besotted with her? No… no that couldn’t be true. He cared for her as a friend, he had his own reasons for their deception, but they did not include some deeper, hidden feelings for her.

Except she had felt something there tonight… something in the way he kissed her. Something that made her hands shake and her heart soar despite herself.

“It isn’t real,” she choked out.

Felicity started. “I beg your pardon?”

“What you saw… none of it is real,” Jane admitted on a broken breath. “Everything between Wesley and I is a lie, meant to trick David and the ton into thinking me desirable.”

Felicity’s eyes went wide and her mouth formed a little ‘o’ as she dropped Jane’s hand. Then she said, “You had better tell me everything, Jane. From the beginning.”

#

It was an hour later that Jane and Felicity sat in the shabby sitting room at Jane’s family home. Somehow Felicity had convinced her mother to let them leave the party early, though Jane could hardly remember how her friend had accomplished such a feat. In fact, she could remember little more about revealing everything that had happened between she and Wesley, but she had, starting from the night she came into the parlor at David’s home and asked Wesley for help.

Felicity shook her head.

“I cannot believe you would be so bold! To try to pull off such a scheme against the ton.”

Jane rubbed her eyes. “I know. When I hear myself say it out loud, it sounds so foolish, but at the time it seemed to make perfect sense. Especially when Wesley was explaining it all to me.”

Saying his name caused memories of their kiss to flood her mind, and not for the first time. Her eyes fluttered shut and she could still taste him on her lips, feel his hands doing such wicked, wicked things. She shivered. They were things she had wanted.

Still wanted.

“Well, it isn’t foolish, exactly,” Felicity said, putting a finger on her bottom lip as she considered it all. “Tonight you were the center of attention. Men were practically fighting to dance with the woman who has garnered the attention of the famously flirtatious Lord Wesley Stanton.”

Jane shrugged one shoulder as she stared at the floor in misery. That didn’t exactly feel like a triumph.

“Wait…” Felicity stared at her. “You-you don’t want this to be a charade, do you?”

Jane darted her gaze to her friend’s face as the blood drained from her cheeks. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Felicity let out an unladylike snort. “Oh, yes you do, you simply don’t like to admit it, even to yourself. You said everything I saw at the ball tonight was a lie. A fabrication meant to trick society. But on the terrace, there was no one around. You were kissing Wesley and he was definitely kissing you back. And that wasn’t for show. It wasn’t for David’s benefit. It was real.” Her friend slid across the settee so she could reach Jane’s hand and took it. Her gentle squeeze made Jane look at her again. “What are your feelings for Wesley?”

Jane stared at Felicity, opening and shutting her mouth as she tried to find the right words to say. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. Because she didn’t know the answer.

Or, at least, she didn’t want to face the answer. Because that would mean that all this time she hadn’t known her own heart. That she had wasted her affection and her reputation on one man… when all along her soul had reached out, ignored, to another.

A man who did not love any one woman.

A man who only saw her as a friend.

A man who had probably kissed a hundred girls the very same way he kissed her tonight.

She covered her face, but she wasn’t forced to make the answer she couldn’t formulate because the parlor door came open and the family butler stepped inside.

“Excuse me, Lady Jane,” Jenkins said with a low bow. “But a message just arrived for you.”

Jane’s heart leapt into her throat as she stared at the envelope Jenkins held out. She got to her feet, barely supported by her shaking knees, and tried to make herself move toward him even as her mind raced. Who had sent the letter? Was it Wesley? Was it about the kiss? Was it ending their charade?

“My lady?” Jenkins asked, his brow creasing with worry as she remained standing in her spot, frozen by fears.

Felicity got to her feet and hurried over to the servant. Taking the note, she smiled. “Lady Jane is a bit tired. Could we have some tea, perhaps, despite the late hour?”

Jenkins nodded. “Of course.”

When he had disappeared, Felicity turned back to Jane. She held up the note. “I have never seen you this way. You must-” She hesitated. “You must love him a great deal.”

Jane started and the blood that had drained from her face came rushing back to heat her cheeks. “Who, David?” she croaked.

Felicity pursed her lips as she grabbed Jane’s hand and forced the message into her fingers. “No. Not David. Read your note, for heaven’s sake.”

Jane turned her back. She wasn’t sure she could take Felicity’s knowing stare on her as she read the words from Wesley. She turned the envelope over and stared at the seal. Just as she suspected, it was the Stanton “S”, though the seal was slightly different from the one Wesley usually used.

“Well?”

Jane shook her head at Felicity’s impatient question and opened the envelope. She removed a small sheet of exquisite and very expensive linen paper and unfolded it. The hand was small, neat and decidedly feminine. The note was not from Wesley.

“What is it, Jane?”

Jane read the words again. Then a third time. Her heart rate increased with each instance. Slowly, she turned back to her friend and stared at her.

“It is from Wesley’s grandmother,” she said softly, unable to keep shock and confusion from her voice.

“Lady Stanton?” Felicity repeated as she reached for the note Jane held out.

“She asks… or rather demands an audience with me tomorrow morning.”

Felicity’s eyes came up to meet Jane’s, wide and filled with interest. “What do you think she wants?”

“I haven’t the faintest notion, but I believe it’s safe to guess that her ladyship wishes to discuss my relationship with her grandson.” Jane turned to look out the window at the darkened alley behind the parlor. Anxiety arced through her like a lightening bolt. “And I have no idea what I shall say to her.”

Chapter Five

“Bloody hell!”

Wesley rubbed his throbbing temples as he read and re-read the missive his butler had placed beside his morning paper. The words swam before his eyes. It was far too early for this.

The servant looked at him with impassive eyes. “Is there something amiss, my lord?” he asked in that bored tone butlers of the Empire probably went to some special school to perfect.

“No,” Wesley groaned, his tone belying his answer. His head was pounding from too much drink. And the joke of it was that getting himself properly smashed the night before hadn’t even done the one blasted thing needed more than anything else.

It hadn’t made him forget the feel of Jane’s slender arms as they came around his neck. It hadn’t erased the press of her full lips or her soft sigh of surrender on the terrace. It sure as hell hadn’t made him forget the pointed words Felicity Ellis had spoken. How far was he willing to go to have Jane?

Far enough to risk his heart? To risk telling her the truth now instead of waiting until he was sure she was over David? To risk telling her that he had loved her for as long as he could remember and that he didn’t want to pretend anything anymore. That he wanted everything they had done to trick the ton to be a reality?

“Is there anything I can do to assist you, Lord Stanton?” Greenville asked.

Wesley started. In the midst of his musings over Jane, he’d all but forgotten the butler’s presence.

“Yes. Tell Harris to prepare my best. My grandmother has summoned me to her side. I’m to be there in just under and hour, so we will have to make haste.”

As Greenville bowed out of the room, Wesley frowned. As much as he loved her and cherished the time he spent with her, he hated to see his grandmother in her weakened state. It was so different from the memories he held in his heart. Lady Stanton had raised him after the death of his parents. In many ways, she had been like a mother to him. And now she was confined to a wheelchair. Though she had grown stronger since her last attack, her doctors still frowned when they saw to her. And murmured quiet sentiments of sorrow that she would not be long for the earth.

It killed him to hear that, to smile and pretend when he knew what was coming over the horizon. It was going to be even harder to hide his reactions in his current condition. Hung-over and lost over Jane.

She would surely see his torment and offer words of comfort, no doubt, but also ask questions. Ones he had no answers to. And she could not take the worry away as she had when he was a child.

No one but Jane could clear his mind now. And only if he was brave enough to ask her.

#

The dim lighting in Lady Stanton’s private parlor only increased Jane’s nervousness. She smiled at the footman who had led her there and could only hope that her expression didn’t waver or reflect her inner turmoil. No matter how confused and emotional she was about the unexpected, out of control kiss she’d shared with Wesley last night, she didn’t want his grandmother to know anything was amiss. Not if his happiness would make the elderly lady’s final days a little more peaceful. That was part of the bargain they had struck. Wesley had kept up his end… she owed the same to him.

She took a seat on a settee and folded her trembling hands in her lap. Shutting her eyes, she tried to regain focus, but her treacherous mind could do only one thing: Take her back again and again, to the night before. To the feel of Wesley’s lips burning against hers. To the way her body had reacted so unexpectedly to that sinful touch.

And to Felicity’s assertion that Jane didn’t want her charade with Wesley to be pretend at all.

Her eyes flew open. That was ridiculous.

She was saved from her thoughts when the door to the adjoining bedchamber came open and a maid entered, pushing a wheelchair before her that contained Lady Stanton. Jane came to her feet on shaky knees.

“Good afternoon, my lady,” she managed to croak out.

“Sit, my dear. Please sit.”

Lady Stanton waved Jane back to the chair as the maid set her mistress in place and locked the wheels of the contraption in place. Without question or hesitation, the young woman quickly poured the tea and then inclined her head toward her mistress.

“That will be all, Marianne,” Lady Stanton said with a warm smile. “And will you close the door on your way out? I shall ring if we require any further assistance.”

The maid nodded, then did her ladyship’s bidding, leaving Jane alone with Lady Stanton. But now that she was sitting with her, Jane didn’t feel the knot of worry in her chest… or at least it wasn’t so large and overpowering.

It had been nearly eight months since Lady Stanton had last been out in Society and Jane had almost forgotten what she looked like. She was the picture of the perfect grandmother from every sweet childhood story. Soft and tender with lines on her face that said she smiled often. Her bright green eyes put Jane to mind of Wesley’s eyes.

Why, she wasn’t someone to fear at all! All Jane had to do was reassure the lady that Wesley’s future would be happy and the woman could find peace.

“I hope you don’t mind meeting in my private sitting room,” Lady Stanton asked. “It is difficult for me to move about the house now that the doctors insist upon me staying in my bed during the majority of the day.”

Jane shook her head. “Of course I don’t mind, my lady. I’m pleased to be able to share tea with you. Your comfort is most important.”

“Perhaps you wonder why I have invited you today?” her ladyship asked, leaning forward to take her cup.

“I admit, I am curious to know the reason for this honor,” Jane admitted as she reached for her own tea. Her statement wasn’t exactly a lie. She was sure it had something to do with her pretended courtship with Wesley. She only wasn’t clear on why Lady Stanton asked her now and on such short notice.

Jane took a sip of tea just as Lady Stanton cleared her throat. “I won’t mince words, my dear. I have invited you here because I heard a report last night that involved you, my grandson and a most passionate kiss on a terrace at the Ketterick ball.”

Jane barely missed spraying her mouthful of tea across the parlor. She managed to swallow as she snatched up a linen napkin to she wipe warm liquid from her chin. While she tried to regain her composure, she looked at Lady Stanton. Sweet and grandmotherly indeed! Although the woman looked frail in her little wheelchair, her eyes were incredibly focused… and waiting for a reply.

One Jane wasn’t sure how to give. Her heart pounded, drowning out all other noise in the room and leaving her gasping for breath. She and Wesley had been seen? Worse yet, that passionate moment was being gossiped about? She could be ruined!

“I-My lady-” she stammered.

Lady Stanton arched a brow as she took a sip of tea in an infuriatingly calm manner. As if she hadn’t just ripped the floor out from under Jane and sent her scrambling for purchase.

“I have always liked you, Jane.”

Jane blinked. A change of subject? “I-Th-Thank you, my lady,” she whispered, straining for any way to avoid facing the stunning fact that Lady Stanton knew about The Kiss.

The other woman leaned back in her chair, but her gaze never left Jane’s face. She was watching, appraising and Jane found herself longing to stay in her ladyship’s good graces. And for more than just the sake of the ruse she and Wesley were playing out.

“No one would have blamed you for hiding away after your father’s… unfortunate incident.”

Jane winced. It was a kind way to phrase the public humiliation which had ruined her family’s fortune and sullied their name.

“But you did not hide,” Lady Stanton continued. “In fact, you came out boldly and faced the whispers of those around you. That showed your character.” Lady Stanton smiled that deceptively sweet smile again.

Jane gathered her thoughts. “Well, your grandson was certainly part of helping me through those difficult first months. He was nothing but kind to me after I developed a-a friendship with David Langston. If I was bold, it was only with the help of my friends.”

That statement was true. Wesley had accepted her from the moment she turned her affections on David. He had never wavered. Never questioned the prudence of allowing a girl with her past, with her family name and reputation and lack of fortune, into their group. If he had discouraged David from pursuing her, as many of his other friends had done, she had never known about it.

Even now, his ingenious plan had made her the talk and the toast of the ton, as a dozen wilting bouquets at home in her parlor from potential suitors reminded her daily. Wesley had, in so many ways, saved her.

Lady Stanton’s smile grew with the praise of her beloved grandson. “I even thought I saw something more between the two of you after you came out to Society. The way Wesley watched you, the way you sometimes smiled at him… but you seemed determined to give your affections to that-” she sighed and rolled her eyes in a surprisingly unladylike display. “Well, David is not a terrible person, but he’s always been a bit of a dolt. Honestly, the child once got his head caught in my stair rail.”

Jane covered her mouth to stifle a traitorous giggle at her ladyship’s description.

“You may laugh,” Lady Stanton said with a shake of her head. “Although it did require a saw and a lot of rather ridiculous screaming on the boy’s part to get him free.”

Jane’s laughter bubbled forth at the image that popped into her mind. To her surprise, she could easily see David in such a silly, undignified position that was created by his own lack of forethought. As her laughter faded, she caught Lady Stanton watching her.

“It has not been long since David declared his engagement to someone else, yet already you have transferred your affections to my grandson.” She cocked her head. “And so I am torn by two reactions. One is to be pleased by the match… but the other is to wonder at your intentions.”

Jane sobered completely as Lady Stanton put her back in a corner where she was unsure how to answer.

“If you kissed him, as my sources say you did, then you clearly have some feeling for him. But could you truly love him? Or would he only be a replacement for a lost love? Or even a way to stay near David despite your marriages.”

Jane’s eyes went wide. “You-You are direct, my lady.”

Lady Stanton shrugged one shoulder slowly. “I don’t have much time left on this earth my dear. Being direct may be the only way I will get answers. Do you care for my grandson?”

“I-” Jane struggled to say something. Anything. Lady Stanton was asking her the very questions she had begun to ask herself in the past few days. Her feelings had changed, rapidly, overtaking her when she least expected it. And now she was upside down, inside out.

“Your grandson is… I have a high regard for him, my lady. We share a true friendship. And I-I do care for him, of course.”

Her ladyship’s face wrinkled and she did not look completely pleased by Jane’s response. But she could not ask another question because the door to her parlor opened and Wesley himself stepped inside.

The look on his face, the gleam in his eye, instantly told Jane that he had overheard at least part of their conversation. That he had heard her inadequate explanation of her feelings and wasn’t pleased.

What she could not determine was whether his annoyance came from a wish for her to declare herself for the benefit of his grandmother… or something else. Something deeper that she couldn’t dare to wish for.

“Grandmother, Jane,” he drawled, sparing Jane just a mere glance before he dropped a kiss against Lady Stanton’s cheek. “You didn’t mention you would have other guests when you invited me here.”

Lady Stanton’s eyes shone as she smiled up at Wesley. “My dearest, I’m so glad to see you.”

“Yes, I have arrived just in time to hear you interrogating Lady Jane here.” Wes cast another glance over his shoulder at Jane, but didn’t let his eyes hold on her too long.

Jane’s heart sank as a terrible thought crossed her mind. While she had spent a night reliving that kiss… did Wesley regret it? Worse, would it change the friendship they had developed? A relationship she cherished in ways she had never known until they began this strange bargain.

“Interrogating?” Lady Stanton pressed hand to her breast even as her sharp eyes brightened. “My goodness, that was not my intention.”

Jane shifted as Wesley took a seat between them and poured himself a cup of tea. “Wasn’t it? Then I must have heard incorrectly.”

“I was merely relaying a rumor to Jane that I heard about the two of you,” Lady Stanton leaned forward. “I was trying to verify its veracity and determine what kind of courtship the two of you are involved in.”

Wesley sighed as he took a long swig of tea. From the expression in his eyes, Jane could see he was wishing for a stronger brew. Truth be told, she could use one herself. Now that he was here where she could smell the masculine hint of shaving soap, where she could see the harsh angle of his jaw and knew exactly what it felt like to touch his face as he pressed his mouth to hers… well, it was all she could think about.

And that was a very bad thing, especially considering the fact that he refused to spare her more than a very few dismissive glances. He seemed… angry.

He set his cup into the saucer and sighed. “Grandmother, you have never made it a habit of interviewing any other woman I have expressed an interest in.”

Lady Stanton barked out a laugh. “Perhaps because you’ve never really expressed an interest in anyone before.”

Wesley leaned back, draping one muscular arm over the back of the chair that he dwarfed and grinned. “Bald lies, my lady! I have danced with an abundance of women, chatted with a plethora of debutantes-”

“You have never been seen kissing a lady of quality on a terrace during an important ball before.”

Wesley stopped speaking and swung his gaze to Jane. She met his eyes with difficulty and hoped he could read her thoughts in them. His mouth thinned, lips pursing together before he said, “Such gossip, Grandmother. Normally I do not hear you repeating what you know is likely idle talk.”

“My source is impeccable.” Lady Stanton’s face softened. “You know I only wish the best for you. I only want you to be happy. Since you have not brought this young lady to meet me, I took in into my own hands. If this report is true, tell me, do you intend to marry?”

The room went deathly still as Wesley stiffened, his shoulders bunching. Jane caught a gasp before it escaped her lips, her fingers digging into the chair arm. In all their plotting to fool the ton and the woman before them, she had never considered that someone would be so bold as to question their intentions directly. Breaking off a courtship would be easy. To break an engagement would be much more complicated. Someone would end up looking the injured party… someone the callous rejecter.

Either that, or they would end up man and wife. Judging from Wesley’s pale face, that was not an outcome he relished.

Why did that hurt so much?

“Grandmother!” his voice was sharp as he shoved to his feet.

“Jane?” Lady Stanton ignored his outburst. “Do you intend to become my grandson’s wife?”

Jane slowly got to her feet, her hands shaking and her mind spinning. Telling the lady yes would give her the peace she clearly yearned for, but the ramifications were endless.

“I-” she stammered, looking to Wes to help her. He stared back, holding her gaze for a long moment… almost as if he were waiting for her answer as much as Lady Stanton.

Then he shook his head and reached out to grasp her arm. He turned to his grandmother with a frown. “I will come back here in a moment to discuss this with you further, Grandmother. But for now I will escort Jane downstairs. She is expected at home, I’m sure.”

Lady Stanton nodded, blinking up with wide, innocent eyes. But as Wesley turned Jane away and lead her to the parlor door, Jane looked back to find Lady Stanton with a sly smile on her face.

Almost as if her bold questions were by design. Almost as if this entire afternoon had been a trap. But for Jane? Or for Wesley?

***

Wesley stood outside the sitting room where he had left Jane alone for a moment while he sent for her carriage. His whole body ached like he had been in a fist fight, his head throbbed and he was finding it very difficult to step inside.

All because he knew he had something to say, something to do. Something he feared… and he never feared anything.

Drawing a calming breath, he stepped inside. Jane spun from the window where she had been standing and stared at him. She didn’t say a word, she didn’t move, she just looked. Somehow that was worse than her usual bubbling words. Her smiles. Her teasing grins. Because it brought home that the relationship they had once shared was gone. Lost to this ruse. Lost to a stolen kiss. Lost to the direct questions of a well-meaning grandmother.

One who he was starting to doubt was as sick as she had led him to believe. This afternoon Lady Stanton had seemed the epitome of spirit and inner strength. But that was an issue to be dealt with after Jane had gone.

He stepped forward and ignored the way Jane jumped in response. “Jane-” he began.

She lifted her hands to stop him. “I didn’t know how to respond when she asked me about my intentions to marry you. I know you want her to believe you have a future ahead of you, that you will be taken care of and loved-”

He shut his eyes briefly. “If you had told her you intended to marry me, she would have taken an advertisement in the Times before supper and had it circulating in society by midnight,” he said softly. “And I would not want that.”

His statement cut her off and when he opened his eyes, it was to see her staring at him, eyes filled with hurt. “Of course,” she whispered, straightening her spine with dignity. “Of course you would not want this charade to go so far. To marry me would be… well, you would not want that.”

He shook his head. “No. I would not want to marry you. Not if all you feel for me is-” He shrugged off the pain. “How did you put it, Jane? A high regard? A sincere friendship?” He barked out a humorless laugh. “You care for me.”

She wrinkled her brow in confusion even as her cheeks darkened with embarrassment to hear her words repeated back to her. “Wesley-”

He didn’t let her finish. “That might be enough for me with another woman. Regard. Friendship. Caring. And… I shall add the one thing you did not share with my grandmother… desire.”

Her lip trembled at the mention of that word, but she didn’t deny it. “But you don’t want any of that from me.”

“No.” He held his breath. “I wouldn’t accept anything less from you than everything, Jane. Perhaps from some other woman, but not from you.”

She stared at him for a moment as comprehension flooded her face. She stumbled back, eyes wide and flushed skin growing deathly pale as she realized what he was asking for.

Her heart. Her love.

Her mouth opened and shut as she searched for words that would not come. Words he longed to hear, but didn’t expect. Not yet, at any rate.

“Don’t say anything,” he warned, moving closer. “Because I don’t want what you say to be something you don’t mean. Today has been trying, confusing for you, I know, between my grandmother and this. I want you to think about what I have said to you. Think very carefully. I want you to speak to whomever you need to speak to.” He drew in a breath. “Including David if necessary.”

Jane swallowed hard, her throat working with the motion.

“Tomorrow night Madeline’s father and mother are holding a ball to celebrate her upcoming nuptials.” Wesley watched Jane’s face carefully, willing her not to wince at the mention of David’s future bride. She didn’t and his heart soared, even though he knew her lack of response could be due more to shock than a lack of emotion on the subject. “You will attend because the ton will talk if you don’t. I will also attend. It will be the last night of this charade.”

“The-the last night?” she croaked.

“Yes,” Wesley sighed. “Because after tomorrow night, you will either tell me if you want to go back into society with your new popularity to guide you… or-or-”

Why was this so hard to say?

“Or what, Wesley?” she whispered and this time she was the one who took a step forward.

“Or we will stop pretending and make this courtship real, Jane. If it cannot be real, then I don’t want any more part in it.”

He reached out and caught her hand. It trembled beneath his touch, but Jane didn’t resist when he gently pulled her closer. He put a palm beneath her chin and tilted her face up. She shivered again and triumph filled him. She might not love him, but by God she wanted him.

Dropping his mouth down, Wes let his lips brush over hers. A little whimper escaped her lips as she leaned in, but he didn’t give her what she craved. He didn’t deepen the kiss, didn’t claim. Desire couldn’t rule whatever decision she made. Because he wanted so much more than mere desire.

Drawing back, Wes ignored the pain that shot through him at the withdrawal. “Tomorrow night Jane. I will expect your answer by midnight.”

Jane nodded slowly, regaining her composure. “Midnight, Wesley.”

Then she stumbled to the sitting room door and was gone.

Chapter 6

“You are very out of spirits tonight.”

Jane jolted at the sound of Felicity’s voice. She turned on her friend with a weak smile. “My apologies. I have much on my mind.”

Felicity’s eyes narrowed and she slipped her hand through Jane’s arm. Slowly, she guided her away from the spinning couples on the dance floor and out the veranda doors onto the terrace. Jane blushed as she thought of the last time she’d been on a terrace at a ball… two nights ago. And that had ended with Wesley’s arms around her, his lips on hers.

“You’ve been out of spirits since the night I found you with Lord Stanton,” Felicity whispered. “But you’ve kept your council far too well. Please, won’t you talk to me now about what has happened? Perhaps I could be of some assistance.”

Jane looked at her friend. Wesley had told her to speak to whoever she needed to speak to, even David, before she gave him an answer to his shocking offer of making their courtship real. But she hadn’t told anyone yet. Hadn’t let a word of their exchange cross her lips, though she relived that conversation and his kiss over and over in her mind.

And the reason she hadn’t shared her tangled thoughts was becoming clearer. The only person she wished to speak to about anything of importance was Wesley, himself.

But she couldn’t talk to him. Because he would demand an answer. He deserved an answer. And she was still trying to figure out how her heart had turned from girlish dreams of one man to womanly desires for another in such a short time. Was there something wrong with her?

“Jane?” Felicity took her hand.

She sighed. “What would you say if a man told you he would settle for no less than everything when it came to you?”

Felicity smiled. “I would tell him he was a hopeless romantic and that I was not prepared to give anyone everything.”

Jane shifted. “But what if you were prepared?”

Her friend’s eyes suddenly focused on her face with sharp recognition. “Wesley told you he wanted everything?”

She swallowed hard. She had to tell someone the truth. She needed to hear some good advice and she trusted Felicity.

“Yes.” Her voice was little more than a whisper. “At his grandmother’s home yesterday morning. He told me if he cannot have everything, he wants nothing at all. I’m to give him an answer by midnight tonight.”

She sighed. She hadn’t even seen him this evening. If he intended to come to Madeline and David’s engagement party, he was more than fashionably late. Had he changed his mind?

No, Wesley couldn’t be so cruel. She knew that, if nothing else. He would be here. And he would find her.

Felicity rocked back on her heels, shock reflected in every expression. “We wondered what you said to each other.”

“We?” Jane repeated, eyes narrowing. “Who?”

Her friend waved her hand in the air dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. My goodness, Jane, whatever did you say?”

“I-I didn’t know what to say! Wesley and I have been friends, we’ve perpetrated a trick on the ton together for our mutual benefit, he-he’s even kissed me, but I never thought, never dared to believe, that he could feel anything for me other than friendly affection. Sometimes I thought I saw something more, but I never trusted it.”

“What of your own heart?” Felicity asked. “Do you feel something more for him than mere friendly affection?”

Jane hesitated. That was the question, wasn’t it? The one that had haunted her for a long time, the one she’d been able to ignore until she struck her bargain with Wesley. The one she’d been too cowardly to answer, even for her own benefit.

Her hands shook as she moved away from Felicity. She leaned on the terrace railing and looked out over the dark park in the distance.

“I do care for him. More than a friend.” She sucked in a wavering breath. “I believe I may be in love with him.”

In the next moment, Felicity’s arms were around her and she was squeezing Jane until she could scarce draw breath.

“I’m so happy for you!” her friend whispered as she released her. “Oh, you’ll be very good together. Wait…” Felicity tilted her head. “You don’t look pleased. What’s wrong?”

Jane sighed. “Just a short time ago, I was making plans to be another man’s wife. There were times I thought myself in love with David, even. At least… I liked him a great deal. What if I am simply a fickle debutante? And what of Wesley? His reputation does not show him to be the kind of man who would truly settle down with one woman alone. What if I’m simply a challenge to him and once he has won me, he bores of me.”

Felicity leaned back and her mouth twisted. “Pardon me for speaking plainly, but you are being a complete ninny.”

“What?” Jane sputtered.

“Honestly!” Her friend threw up her hands. “Did you really love David? Or did you just convince yourself that he would have you despite your lack of fortune? I’m sure you cared for him, but did you ever get a thrill when you looked at him? Did you ever lay awake at night thinking about him? Did you ever kiss him?”

Jane folded her arms as blood warmed her cheeks. “No,” she admitted softly.

“And do you feel that thrill, that ache for Wesley?”

She thought of all the sleepless nights she had spent lately. The anticipation that filled her when she knew he would be at a party or ball. She had felt that way for a long time… even before they struck their bargain.

“Yes.”

“And what about deeper feelings?” Felicity continued, unrelenting in her interrogation. “You are friends, are you not?”

She nodded.

“Do you enjoy talking to him? Respect his opinions? Look to him for advice and support?”

Jane thought of all the times she had turned to Wesley. When she needed help after David’s engagement, she hadn’t once thought to turn to her family or even Felicity. It had been Wes that she had sought out. Trusted.

“Yes.”

“Then it sounds like what you feel is based on something real.” Felicity smiled. “A foundation of friendship and respect is far better than what many society marriages build upon.”

“But what about him?” Jane asked. “What about his temperament? His reputation?”

“Bah!” Felicity shook her head. “Anyone who isn’t blind can see he’s only had eyes for you for a long time. I somehow doubt he was running around town asking any woman he flirted with for ‘everything’. Jane, you know him. Better than I. Better than David. Better than anyone, I would wager. Do you truly think he would ask you for something so serious without genuine intentions?”

Wesley’s image, so clear that it was almost like he was really there, came into her mind. His smile. The comfort of his touch as he guided her through a crowd. The sound of his laughter. No matter what, he would never hurt her. Unlike David, he actually had some consideration for the feelings of others. For her.

And he always had.

“He would not hurt me. He would rather hurt himself, I think,” she whispered, tears beginning to gather and tingle in her eyes.

“Then I don’t see what kind of advice you need, Jane.” Felicity shrugged. “You know what you want. You know what you need. It is nearly eleven o’clock. Why don’t you find Wesley? I’m sure he’s here by now.”

Jane met her best friend’s stare as hope and excitement unlike any she’d experienced before blossomed inside of her. Felicity was right. There wasn’t a choice to make. There was only a wonderful life to accept. A life with Wesley.

“Do you think he is?” she asked, turning to look inside. She searched the buzzing crowd, but didn’t find him in her first sweep of the room.

“Yes. Go! Go!” Felicity laughed as she gave her a push toward the doors. “And tomorrow I expect you to come to my house and tell me all about your engagement.”

Jane’s heart leapt as she waved to her friend and made her way into the ballroom. She weaved through the crowd, moving past friends and acquaintances. People said her name, but if it wasn’t Wesley’s voice, she didn’t hear it. This was not the time to be waylaid. Not the time to be distracted by petty-

“Jane!”

As she rounded her way toward the opposite side of the stuffy room, she was brought to a sharp halt as David stepped in her path. His face, still handsome, though somehow softer now that she compared it to Welsey’s, lit up.

“I have been searching for you all evening.”

She forced a smile. This was the last interruption she needed. Although Wes had encouraged her to speak to David, she didn’t want to. Now she knew what she desired. She could let David go without ever saying a word to him.

“Good evening.” She hoped the strain in her voice wasn’t too evident. “This is quite a soiree. My best wishes to you.”

His smile faltered a fraction. “I-er, thank you.”

“Have you seen Wesley anywhere?” she asked as she craned her neck. “I have been waiting for him to arrive.”

“He’s here.”

Her gaze shot back to him as excitement and trepidation hit her with equal measure. “Where?”

David shrugged. “He’s been lurking about in the billiard room all night. Said he was waiting for something. A moment or some such rot.”

She dipped her head as a blush crept to her face. Wesley was waiting for her. The feelings she had been denying swelled in her chest.

“Thank you,” she said as she turned into the crowd again.

David’s hand on her elbow stopped her. “See here, Jane, I would dearly like to speak to you. Could you spare me a moment?”

She hesitated, but could find no polite way to refuse his request. With a sigh, she nodded. “Of course. What is it?”

“The ballroom is far too crowded, let’s go into the library, shall we?”

Without waiting for her answer, he pressed her hand into his elbow and guided her across the room and down the hallway to the library.

Masking her impatience, she drew her hand away from David’s arm and said, “What is it that you needed privacy to speak to me?”

He paced away to lean back against a table near the high bookcases filled with tomes she doubted he had ever cracked.

“I wished to apologize to you, Jane. If I hurt you with my engagement, I never meant to do so.”

Her thoughts of Wesley faded for the moment as Jane looked at David. He truly did look troubled and her heart melted a tiny fraction. As Lady Stanton had said, he wasn’t a bad man, he just wasn’t aware of the consequences of his actions. If they didn’t cause him pain, he could not fathom how someone else could be hurt by them.

She smiled. “Thank you, David. I appreciate that more than you’ll probably ever realize. But I’ve come to understand that whatever… hopes I had for a future that included you were perhaps best left unrealized. I wish you happiness with Madeline.”

David let out his breath in a sound of relief. “I’m glad of that, Jane. That you appreciate a marriage between us could not have occurred.”

She wrinkled her brow. That wasn’t exactly what she’d said, but there was no use arguing. Now that he’d said his piece, she could go. Just a few steps down the hallway and she would be with Wesley.

But instead of saying his farewells, David pushed away from the table and took a step toward her. “But that does not mean that I didn’t care for you. That I don’t still care for you.”

She tilted her head. He was moving forward, tiny step by step. “We shall always be friends, I’m sure.”

“I hoped for more than that, Jane.” He cleared his throat. “You see, once I am married, I’ll have the means to maintain a mistress.”

She stumbled backward a step. “I beg your pardon?”

He nodded. “You know I always liked you. I could keep you in a very high fashion.”

Her face twisted in horror. “You cannot be serious.”

“I am, I assure you.”

He took another step but Jane held up her hands and he stopped. “Listen here. I would never be your mistress, David! I would never have considered that under any circumstance. And I cannot believe you would approach me with such a notion, especially at the ball celebrating your own engagement!”

The expression on his face was more confused than angry. “Jane, your family position is precarious. Certainly, you must know how difficult it will be for you to marry well. If you took my offer, you would have money, pretty clothes-”

“Stop!” Jane stomped her foot and David shut his mouth. “I will not hear another word. I do not accept your vulgar offer.”

She spun around to leave and found herself face to face with Madeline’s father. The Duke’s expression left very little of his anger to the imagination. He did not look at her, but past her to David. She glanced over her shoulder. David was standing in the middle of the room, his face ashen as he realized his future father-in-law had heard enough of his offer to Jane to ruin his plans. To ruin everything.

“Good evening, Lady Jane,” the Duke said, sparing her a quick, kind glance.

“Your Grace,” she breathed. “I-”

“It’s all right, my lady,” he said softly. “Please close the door on your way out.”

She nodded once, then ran from the room. She shut the door behind her, leaving David to whatever fate awaited him and then hurried down the hallway toward the lady’s retiring room. She needed Wesley, now more than ever. But when she went to him, it wouldn’t be because of David. Not ever again. When she went to him, it would be to reveal her heart. And once she calmed down, she was ready to do just that.

#

Wesley glanced at the little clock that was on the mantelpiece in the billiard room. Eleven-thirty. Almost time. His heart rate doubled at the thought.

“Are you going to take your shot, Stanton?”

He looked at Lord Greyson. The young Earl was staring at him, head cocked and brow wrinkled.

“Sorry, yes.” Wes lined up his shot carefully. The game was just beginning. Greyson had only just come in from the party for a short match.

“Very nice,” Greyson said as one of the billiard balls rolled into the pocket. “Too bad the party will be cut short tonight. I’d forgotten what a worthy opponent you are, Stanton.”

Wesley straightened up. “Why would the party end early?”

“Well, with the engagement being called off…” Greyson stopped at Wesley’s blank expression. “Oh, yes. You’ve been in here all evening. It just happened a few moments ago. David took off in his carriage like the hounds of hell were at his heels. Poor Maddie ran up to her room crying and the Duke looked ready to kill.”

Wesley’s grip tightened on his cue stick, even as he tried to keep reaction from his face. “The engagement is off? Any idea why?”

The other man shrugged as he stooped to take his shot. “No one can say for sure. But I did hear a rumor that Lady Jane Davenport was seen going into the library with David a while before. Some say he’s renewing his addresses to her, but you know how women talk.” He let out a curse when he missed his shot and straightened up. “Pretty thing, that. A shame about her family connections.”

The room began to swim as Wesley’s vision clouded. He set his cue stick aside and gripped the table with both hands. Jane had seen David alone… just as he had told her to do the day before. And now David was no longer marrying Madeline Reynolds.

Those two facts had to be related, whether or not the gossip about David’s renewed attentions toward Jane were true.

“Stanton? Are you well, man? You look pale.” Greyson suddenly lifted a hand to his mouth. “Dear God, you’ve been courting Jane as of late, haven’t you?”

Wesley winced as he pushed away from the table. “Jane and I have no understanding. If she wishes to return to David, I have no claim on her. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I feel a sudden-a sudden headache. I am afraid I’ll have to cry off the rest of the game. Perhaps we can rematch another time.”

Greyson nodded, his expression sick. “Of course. Good night, Stanton.”

Wesley nodded as he made his way out of the room and down the hallway. He didn’t see anything around him. He didn’t hear the buzz of the crowd as the news of the broken engagement spread like wildfire through society’s upper echelon. He felt their stares, but didn’t see them. He didn’t even know how he found himself at his carriage, but he somehow did. And within moments, he was heading home.

As the vehicle rolled through the crowded London streets, he rested his head against the cushion behind him while his mind spun.

Jane had spoken to David. David was no longer engaged.

That refrain repeated in his head over and over again, beating the painful truth against his temples until his head throbbed with the ache he had only pretended earlier.

“Damn it,” he muttered as he exited his carriage and made his way to his door blindly.

What a fool he was to think that a few weeks of pretended connection could keep Jane from taking what she’d spent months pining for. What a fool he was.

#

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Jane repeated, staring at Felicity as she tried to temper her tone. She’d been looking for Wesley for more than an hour, but no one knew anything about his whereabouts. The gossip that David’s engagement to Madeline had been broken was too loud for anyone to talk about anything else.

Worse, people were looking at her like she had caused the trouble. Whispering just like they had after her father’s hideous fall from grace.

She hated the whispers.

Felicity looked at her with a pitying stare. “He claimed a sudden headache after he heard the news of David’s broken engagement.”

Jane’s heart rushed to her throat as a tremendous sense of dread filled her. She swallowed past the lump. “What did he hear?” she whispered.

“Apparently that gossip Lord Greyson told him you had been with David right before the engagement was broken.” She shook her head. “That man is worse than any whispering matron!”

Jane stumbled back. “Wesley heard the rumor that David’s engagement is broken because he is courting me again?”

Felicity nodded, her expression long and solemn.

“May I borrow your carriage?” Jane asked, grabbing her friend’s arm and dragging her toward the foyer and the carriages parked outside. “I need to get to him. Now!”

#

Wesley clenched and unclenched his fist as he stared at the unfinished whiskey on his desk. He should never have encouraged her to go to David. He should have demanded her answer to his request for a real courtship that afternoon at his grandmother’s when she had been wrapped up in desire.

No. It was tempting to wish he had used her confusion against her, but if Jane truly desired David over him, that would have come out eventually. She would have regretted her choice if he’d forced it.

And if he couldn’t have her whole heart, he wouldn’t settle for just some sliver.

“My lord?”

Wesley lifted his eyes to see his butler in the doorway. The same one who he had told not to disturb him under any circumstances save those that included copious amounts of blood. His eyes narrowed. “What is it?”

“Lady Jane Davenport is here, my lord. She asks if you are in residence. I told her you were not, as per your orders, but she demanded I check a second time to make sure. What should I tell her?”

Wesley’s heart actually shifted in his chest. “Jane?”

“Yes, sir. Should I-?”

He got to his feet. “Bring her to me. Now.”

As the servant bowed away, Wes walked to the mirror and did a cursory check. He didn’t want her to see just how ragged this night had made him. Especially if she were only there to tell him of her renewed feelings for David in person.

That thought made him sober as Jane swept through the door. She was lovely. Her ball gown was a yellow one she had worn often before, but it brought out the soft highlights of her hair and made her eyes warmer. He had watched her all night, from a safe place where she couldn’t see him. He had looked forward to catching a whiff of honeysuckle perfume that matched the gown.

Now those fantasies might be coming to a permanent close.

After the butler had gone, Jane clenched her hands in front of her. “Why did you leave? Were we not to meet at midnight?”

Wesley clenched his jaw, fighting the urge to go to her, touch her, demand she feel the desire he had inspired in her before. “I could not bear to congratulate you, Lady Jane.”

He turned away and paced to the desk where he swigged the remainder of his stale whiskey.

“Congratulate me?”

He set the empty glass down with a loud clink and spun on her. “I heard you managed to extract David from his engagement after all. That you regained his affections.”

Her mouth twitched, though her eyes remained unreadable. “And you believed those rumors?”

“I don’t know what to believe.” He shrugged. “I don’t know anything.”

“I see.” To his surprise, Jane turned to the door and pushed it shut. Before he could protest the utter impropriety of that action, she faced him a second time and began to peel her gloves from her hands. “I have come here for a purpose, my lord.”

He could hardly breathe as he watched her strip the fine kid away from her skin.

When he didn’t answer, she continued, “I wish for you to seduce someone for me.”

He lifted his gaze to her face, remembering her request that he seduce Madeline. That seemed so long ago. Disappointment wracked him. “I told you, I cannot do that. And it seems unnecessary since David’s engagement has ended.”

A little smile tilted up one corner of her lips. “How unfortunate, because I was hoping you might seduce me.”

Wesley couldn’t help but stagger back a step at her utterly unexpected reply. It took a moment for the words to register in his mind. “What?” he asked, feeling like an idiot to make her repeat what was screaming with such clarity through his mind.

“You asked me if I could give you everything, Wes,” she whispered and it was only then he realized her voice and her hands were trembling despite how calm she seemed. “I am here to offer you everything. Everything in my heart.”

He still couldn’t quite fathom that this was real. Not after the earlier pain of the evening. “But David… they said you spoke to him just before his engagement was ended. They said-”

Her smile faded. “They say many things, Wesley. I did speak to David tonight, he waylaid me on my way to you. All I told him was that I would never accept his offer to be his mistress.”

Wesley’s blood froze with surprise and anger, but before he could reply, Jane continued.

“The engagement was broken because Madeline’s father heard his offer and my response.” She shook her head. “Tonight I was faced with proof of what a fool David is. And what a fool I was for ever thinking he could make me happy. I was so stubbornly trying to make myself love him that I missed the moment where I fell in love with you.”

Wesley’s hands fisted at his sides as a joy unlike anything he’d ever experienced rushed through him.

“And it wasn’t when you kissed me and it wasn’t when you asked me to make this courtship real.” A tear slipped from her eye and began a slow trail down her face, even though her smile returned. “It happened a little every time we danced together. It happened every time you made me laugh at myself. It happened every time you included me in some philosophical debate. I fell in love with you in tiny pieces until my whole heart belonged to you. When you kissed me that night after the ball, when you demanded I give you more than just some silly, pretended courtship… those things only woke me up from a deep slumber.”

Wesley found himself crossing the floor and then Jane was in his arms. He pulled her against his chest and held her there, loving the feel of her arms around him, loving her tremble as he stroked a hand down her back. Loving her. As he always had. And always would.

He drew back to look down into her face. She was crying openly now, despite her wide smile.

“I assume that means you won’t be telling me we should only be good friends,” she sniffled.

He laughed. “Of course we shall be friends. I could never marry anyone but the woman I consider my very best and truest friend. The woman I love more than anything else in this world.”

Then he dipped his head and kissed her.

A Scandal to Keep

Chapter One

London, 1822

Felicity Ellis’s fingers danced over the pianoforte keys, filling the room with music. She shut her eyes as she played, feeling the melody surround her, make her whole. Her heart was so free when she played. She could forget almost anything.

“That is lovely. Do you intend to play it at the recital tomorrow evening?”

Felicity’s eyes came open and she glanced across the room. The Dowager Countess Abigail Stanton was doing her needlework, a smile tilting her lips and lining her face.

“Yes.” Felicity slowed her fingers and slowly turned the music until the piece changed into Lady Stanton’s favorite. Her companion’s gaze lifted from the fabric in her hands and met Felicity’s.

“It’s always such a pleasure to have you come here and play.” Lady Stanton sighed. “Wesley hardly ever comes here anymore, now that he is married.”

Felicity barked out a laugh as she continued the music. “A marriage you had quite the hand in creating.”

“Only me?” Lady Stanton arched one fine brow. “You were a most willing spy and partner in my schemes, my dearest.”

Felicity sighed. “Yes, I most certainly was. At any rate, I know for a fact that Wesley and Jane were here just yesterday afternoon.”

“Hmmm. Seems you are still a spy.”

Lady Stanton set her work aside and grabbed for her cane. She motioned for the maid who stood stoically beside the parlor door. The young woman hurried over and helped the elderly lady from her chair. Felicity continued to play even as she watched, ready to come to her friend’s assistance if need be.

How hard it was to watch Lady Stanton grow older, her body more frail, despite her sharp mind. It made Felicity think of the future. A distant and foggy thing that often seemed unpleasant and lonely.

The maid stepped back when Lady Stanton had gained her balance and her ladyship shuffled toward Felicity. “Sometimes it seems like everything is changing. Some changes are for the good, like Jane and Wesley’s union.”

“What else has changed lately?” Felicity asked. For her, life seemed ever the same. By design, perhaps, but still sometimes achingly boring and endless.

“Oh, I did hear some news, though I’m not sure if it is a change for the better or for ill.” Lady Stanton braced her hands on the pianoforte. “The old Duke of Windsworth finally took his last breath.”

Felicity’s fingers crashed against the keys in a mangled and smashed note. Lady Stanton’s eyebrows went up.

“Dear heavens, are you well?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

Felicity stared at the sheet music before her, but the notes swam and ran together as her vision blurred and her heart raced. She caught her breath and quickly regained her composure.

“Yes. My hands merely slipped.”

Lady Stanton’s eyebrow arched. “I have never known your hands to slip before. And with such drama.”

Felicity forced a smile. “Ah, you have uncovered my secret. I am not the perfect player that you thought me to be.”

Her companion smiled and reached out to lightly tap her nose with the tip of one finger. “No one is perfect, my darling.”

Felicity dipped her gaze to the piano keys. “No. No one.”

If Lady Stanton noticed the emotion that boiled in Felicity’s chest, she made no indication of it. Instead, she sighed. “The Duke was not known as a kind man or a good man or even a prudent man. But perhaps things will be better now that his son has inherited.”

Felicity’s hands were shaking and she clenched them into fists to make them stop. “His son is dead.”

Her ladyship’s brow wrinkled. “What? Oh no, you are thinking of the elder son, Jonathon, who died in India a few years ago. This is the younger son, Gabriel. When Jonathon died, he became the heir apparent.”

Felicity’s body was starting to relax. Her muscles unclenched and her trembling slowly subsided as the initial shock of hearing such news wore off. It meant nothing to her, of course. She had not been acquainted with that family for… well, it was a long time now. Many years. The death of the Duke, the assumption of the title by the younger son she’d never met, those things had nothing to do with her.

“I’m sure Society will be clamoring to see this new Duke,” she murmured before she pursed her lips with displeasure. That meant the next few months were going to be terribly uncomfortable. Until the novelty wore off, he would probably be invited to every party. The entire summer would likely hold little pleasure for her, only constant reminders of a foolish moment in her past.

She sighed before she refocused her attention. Lady Stanton was speaking, answering the comment she’d really meant only for herself.

“I should say so!” Lady Stanton strummed her fingers along the pianoforte. “After all, he’s more than just a new Duke. He has his father and his brother’s sordid reputations to overcome. And the man has hardly been out in Society at all!”

Felicity tilted her head. She shouldn’t care about this, should avoid the subject, but she found herself curious nonetheless. “Why?”

“His mother and father were estranged. She took the younger child, Gabriel, and retired to the country when the children were quite small. The Duke took the older son and stayed in London and his other estates. From what I understand, Gabriel hardly saw his father until after Jonathon’s death.”

Again, Felicity flinched as a long buried pain surged back up, dulled but still in existence. Her only consolation was that since this new Duke had not been around all those years ago when… well, when the thing she refused to think about happened, at least he wouldn’t look at her with those cold eyes like his father had. Stare at her with accusation and distain.

At least, she hoped he wouldn’t.

She sighed as she reached for the sheet music and folded it away. Getting to her feet, she smiled at her companion, though she could feel that it was a weak rendition of her usual expression. Even for her dear Lady Stanton, she couldn’t muster up anything with real joy. Not now. Not when the past was pushing into the present.

“Are you departing?” Lady Stanton asked. “I thought you were going to stay for tea.”

She shook her head. “I know I promised, but I find myself suddenly tired. I should probably go and rest since I have the recital tomorrow.”

Lady Stanton tilted her head and her piercing green stare snagged Felicity’s. “Is something wrong, Felicity? You have not seemed yourself since you stopped playing.”

With a shrug, Felicity leaned forward to place a brief kiss on Lady Stanton’s cheek. “Of course I am myself. Who else would I be? I shall see you tomorrow for the recital.”

Though her companion seemed less than convinced, she nodded. “I would not miss it.”

With a slight curtsey and a nod for Lady Stanton’s maid, Felicity took her leave. But as she climbed into her father’s carriage, she leaned her head back against the leather seat with a sigh. Lady Stanton said she wasn’t herself. But who was she, really?

Sometimes, especially when thoughts of the past came rushing up to torment her, she just wasn’t sure.

#

Gabriel Morrison lifted his fingers to his temples and pressed, but nothing he did could ease the pressure that made his head throb. Certainly the droning voice of his solicitor did nothing to help. The man went on and on, occasionally running his finger over a crowded ledger or showing him a paper overflowing with his father’s illegible scribble.

“And so you can see, Your Grace, the financial situation is not at its best,” the man finished with a nod of his head, his tone as benign as if he’d been talking about the weather, not the overwhelming responsibilities Gabriel now faced… the ones that seemed to be getting more devastating by the moment.

“You’ve given me an enormous amount of information to absorb, Sanderson,” he said, leaning back in his chair with a sigh. “And I’d like to review all of these records before we speak again and formulate some kind of plan to dig the Windsworth name out of these straits. Can you join me here again in… say a week’s time?”

The older gentleman got to his feet with a bow. “Of course, Your Grace. I will be here at any time that is convenient. And if you have any concerns or questions in the interim, don’t hesitate to contact me.”

Gabriel motioned a farewell to the man as he picked up the top ledger with a grimace. It was going to take years to rebuild what his foolish father had so recklessly squandered. And that was just the money. The family reputation was another issue entirely.

“May I interrupt?”

He looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway. He struggled to replace his undoubtedly dour expression with a smile as he got up and motioned to the place his solicitor just vacated. “Of course, please come in and sit with me.”

She stepped inside, closing the door behind him and sat down. For a long moment, she only looked at him, her dark brown eyes, the ones he had often wished he inherited rather than the Windsworth green, watching him intensely.

“You are unhappy. Worried,” she said softly as she leaned back in her chair with an air of pained defeat. “How I wish I could have spared you all this.”

He winced. “You did, Mother. For many years you did. But now this is the way things must be. I cannot ask why or wish it otherwise. I must simply see this as a challenge. A duty to repair what many generations of sloth and waste decimated.” He tried to look cheery, but her concerned expression did not change. “It is what it is.”

“Yes. It is.” She nodded slowly and after a moment her demeanor shift. The optimism that was so much a part of her, despite the often painful life she had endured, shone through. “Perhaps it can be the beginning of a new era for the Windsworth Duchy. An era of pride. Of change. If anyone can alter this family’s reputation, it is you, Gabriel.”

He looked at the stacks of ledgers, the slash of red ink that showed how much had been lost. And thought of the stack of diaries he had uncovered just a week ago, detailing his father’s and brother’s underhanded deals and avoidance of duty and honor. Now those deeds were on his head. And he had to make reparation for them all before anyone could ever trust in the Windsworth name again.

“I have no other choice. Though Jonathon and Father certainly made things difficult for me.”

Her face took on a distant sadness. “That is my fault, in part. If I had insisted on removing Jonathon from your father’s influence, as I did with you, perhaps he would not have grown up to be his father’s son in every way. Perhaps he would not have made so many terrible mistakes… perhaps he would not be dead.”

Gabriel flinched. There were many mistakes. One, in particular, stood out in his mind. One stupid, foolish, utterly reckless act that was the first thing Gabriel had to atone for, since it had gone so long ignored.

“You did all you could, Mother. Father never would have allowed you to take the heir apparent from under his wing.”

Gabriel tried not to think about his own experiences with his hard, uncaring father after his brother’s death. Tried not to think of the even worse horrors Jonathon must have endured as a young boy. His actions as a man were almost forgivable considering.

Almost.

“Perhaps.” His mother’s voice was quiet. Strained. “But we shall never know now.”

For a short while, the room was silent as they each contemplated the past. The tick of the grandfather clock was the only accompaniment to the painful thoughts he knew from her expression that his mother was reliving.

Finally, she shook off the effects and smiled weakly. “But this mournful chatter does nothing to aid you. And that is what I long to do. So what are your plans? Is there anything I can do?”

Gabriel got up from his desk and paced over to the window. He looked down into the mangled gardens below. Those would need to be weeded, trimmed, replanted. It would be a slow process. Mirroring his own, perhaps. He needed to formulate a plan, start with one little weed and then the next. And then the next. Step by step, he could do this.

He had to.

“Mr. Sanderson was here earlier,” he said. “You probably saw him leave just before you joined me. He will be helping to formulate some kind of financial recovery, though I’m sure it will take time.”

“Good.” She nodded. “You’ve always had a good head for business.”

“With his assistance in that area, it will leave me free to pursue the repair of our social standing.” Gabriel flinched. Society was not his favorite place, he had avoided it when he could. But there was nothing to it. No avoiding it anymore.

“I still have a few friends and family members who are held in high regard in the ton,” his mother said. “I’m sure I could exert a bit of influence in that arena.”

Gabriel cast a glance over his shoulder at her. “I’m going to be married before the end of the year.”

His mother blinked a few times, her face blank as if she had not understood him clearly. “I-Gabriel what do you mean?”

“A Duke-” He stopped himself. “A respectable Duke should have a wife. Settling down will send a message to the ton that I don’t intend to follow in the footsteps of my father or my brother. And a wife’s dowry, if it is generous enough, will help to recover some of our losses.”

“Have-have you met a young woman?” she asked, her eyes still wide as saucers.

“No.” He shrugged as he returned his gaze to the garden. “I have not met her… yet. But I do know who she will be.”

His mother staggered to her feet. “Who Gabriel?”

“Lady Felicity Ellis. The Earl of Stoneworth’s youngest daughter.”

“Why her?” Her voice cracked with the shock.

Gabriel clenched his fists at his sides. He wasn’t going to tell her that. It would only upset her beyond measure. And perhaps alter her feelings toward the woman Gabriel knew would soon enough be his wife. And he wanted his mother to like his wife. They would spend a good deal of time together, he was certain.

“She seems a good fit,” he merely said with a dismissive shrug. “But apparently Father and Jonathon wronged her father in a-a bargain some time ago. I doubt I will be welcomed into their home. But the family is holding a recital tomorrow to celebrate Lady Felicity’s talent at the pianoforte. Do you think your influence could garner me an invitation? I would sorely like to begin my courtship.”

His mother stared at him, mouth partly agape. “Gabriel, I don’t understand what has gotten into you. There is more to this than you are telling me. Honestly, you are frightening me.”

He sighed as he crossed the room to give her a brief hug. “I’m sorry, Mama. I do not mean to frighten you. And I concede there may be more to my decision than I can explain. But will you do this for me regardless of my silence on my true motives? I would be greatly appreciative.”

His mother tilted her head to stare up at him, her gaze searching his for a long moment. Finally, she drew in a harsh breath and nodded.

“Of course, Gabriel. I said I would do anything in my power to help you in your quest. And if this will assist you, I will do my best to make sure you are at the recital tomorrow.” She reached for his hands. “But my darling, I would hate to see you make a mistake in whom you choose to marry.” Her eyes clouded with tears as she drew away from him and headed for the office door. “That would be repeating my sins, not your father’s. And that would break my heart.”

Chapter Two

Felicity shook out her hands, stretching her fingers before she took her place at the pianoforte. She did her best to ignore the crowd. Though she had been performing publicly since she was little more than a girl, she hadn’t really been comfortable with all eyes on her since…

Oh, why did she keep thinking about that? She had stricken it from her mind long ago and it was best kept that way. She couldn’t let Lady Stanton’s news of the new Duke of Windsworth put her in a twist. It had nothing to do with her.

She bent her head and began to play, pouring all her tangled emotions into expressing the music. That was her one true escape. The one place she didn’t have to hide.

She was midway through the second song in her selection of five for the evening when she felt a shift. A change in the audience, in the very air. Normally, she was hardly aware of those around her at all while she played, but now that was different.

She continued to let her fingers move over the keys as she lifted her gaze and let it flit around the room. Lady Stanton was the first person she saw, sitting beside Jane and Wesley. She was smiling like a proud mother hen and Felicity briefly returned the smile.

Her parents were also beaming from their positions in the front row, full of pride that Felicity wasn’t entirely certain she deserved. Other friends watched, debutantes in their first season mostly sat politely, waiting for the musicale to end so they could pick up their flirtations at the soiree afterward.

And then her gaze found him. She was thankful that the notes she was meant to play were bold and powerful, because her fingers crashed against the keys before she could gather her composure and control their weight.

She had never seen Gabriel Morrison before in her life, but she was absolutely certain that the man standing in the back of the hall, watching her play like he was the only person in the audience, was him. The dark blond hair and bright green eyes that were so like his older brother’s were the first indications, but beyond those tell-tale signs… she just felt it in her bones. In the pit of her stomach.

Tingles rushed up her arms, raced through her bloodstream, lit all her nerve endings on fire. She didn’t know how she managed to finish the song she was playing, but she somehow found herself at the end nonetheless and the audience clapped.

Everyone but the new Duke of Windsworth. He just stared at her with the same cold detachment she had always received from his late father.

Great God, he knew the truth.

Felicity’s hands froze over the keys of the pianoforte and she felt the blood drain out of her cheeks to rush to her throbbing heart. She knew she should play the next song, but she couldn’t. All she could do was hear the screaming refrain in her mind.

He knows. He knows. He knows.

Suddenly, her father was at her elbow.

“Is everything well, child? You look suddenly pale. Lady Stanton mentioned you left her early yesterday with complaints about being tired.”

Felicity stared up at her father’s handsome face. If she told him Gabriel Morrison was here, he would come to her rescue. He would throw the man into the street personally. But all that would serve would be to cause an enormous scene and make people ask questions. The kind of questions she had avoided thus far.

She was too old for saving now.

Felicity swallowed past the enormous lump in her throat and somehow managed to pretend a smile. “No, father, I apologize. I was… distracted by the crowd. But I can continue.”

He wrinkled his brow with concern, but backed away from her with a nod. “Very well.”

Felicity forced herself to stop staring at Gabriel Morrison and looked at the pianoforte keys instead. By God, she would not let him know he had affected her. She had that much pride left, at least.

And as soon as she had finished playing, she could hide from him. Pride could only go so far.

#

Gabriel took a long drink of punch and wished it was something far stronger. After what he had just witnessed, he could use a stiff drink.

Perhaps this was the very thing that had led his father and brother down the paths of temptation and vice. Just one strong drink had led to another. Just one surprisingly tempting woman had led to another.

Only this time, the tempting woman was the one he intended to marry. Felicity Ellis.

He shook his head. Somehow he had imagined her quite differently after reading his father’s accounts of what had transpired. Somewhere between idiot and cunning whore, the two ways his father had used to describe her. Gabriel had been leaning more toward misled innocent.

But now he had to re-evaluate everything. Felicity Ellis had far more passion that he had expected. It had come out in the beautiful, haunting, intense way she played. And in the azure blue of her eyes as she stared at him with a mixture of horror and utter contempt.

This might be more difficult than he had imagined if Felicity already knew who he was.

But the path was chosen and all Gabriel could do was follow it. So he placed his cup on the nearest table edge and began to make his way through the crowd to find Lord Stoneworth. It was proper to garner permission from the father before one courted a young lady, so Gabriel would follow the rules to the tee.

He had made it a few steps when he heard someone calling his name.

“Windsworth!”

He turned in surprise. Though he was garnering a great deal of attention here, which made him believe those in attendance knew full-well who he was, no one had had the gall to approach him yet. But now an elderly woman was coming across the room at an alarming rate of speed for one with a cane.

“I thought that was you, Your Grace,” the woman said with a smile, even though her gaze moved over him from head to toe like she was appraising him. “You probably do not remember me, but I knew you when you were just a child. Before your dear Mama took you away from London. I am Lady Stanton.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened in surprise. His mother had spoken often of Lady Abigail Stanton. He almost felt he knew the lady.

“Why, yes, of course, my lady. My mother will be very pleased that you remember her,” he stammered as he pressed a quick kiss on the elderly woman’s hand.

“Of course I do. Is she in Town, as well? I shall have to call on her. It has been far too long.” A wistful expression came into the woman’s eyes, but then it was gone. “Perhaps I may have the honor of introducing you to our most talented songstress. Felicity, dear!”

Gabriel spun on his heel to where Lady Stanton was motioning wildly. Felicity Ellis did, indeed, stand just a few feet away, but from the way her back curved, it looked like she had been attempting to sneak past without being noticed. Now she slowly straightened up and turned to face them.

“Oh, Lady Stanton,” she said, without sparing him even a cursory glance. “I did not see you there.”

As she trudged toward them, Gabriel sucked in a breath. There was no doubt why his brother had picked her as a conquest. Jonathon had always liked the prettiest girls of their acquaintance and Felicity was far and away more attractive than any of them. Her dark auburn hair was bound loosely, but tiny curls framed her face, drawing attention to the midnight blue of her eyes and accentuating a few charming freckles that dashed across her nose.

He could imagine she would light up a room if she smiled. But she wasn’t smiling currently. And from the way she refused to look at him at all, she would never gift him with a smile.

How could one mourn the loss of something they had never experienced?

“Come, my dear,” Lady Stanton said with a wide smile. “Meet His Grace. This is Lord Windsworth.”

Felicity flinched just the slightest bit and her gaze remained focused on his shoulder rather than his eyes. “Your Grace,” she murmured coolly and did not offer her hand.

“Lady Felicity.” He tilted his head in a vain attempt to snare her gaze. “A pleasure to meet you. I have heard very much about you.”

Now she looked at him, shock draining the color from her face. Gabriel bit back a curse. She thought he was referring to her past with his brother.
“Everyone in Society speaks of how talented you are,” he corrected swiftly. “You are very highly spoken of.”

To his surprise, her expression did not soften in the slightest. In fact, her eyes narrowed and she speared him with a glare that could have wilted flowers.

“Ah, I see my dear grandson and his wife motioning to me,” Lady Stanton said with a wicked smile. “I should join them.”

“No-” Felicity began, grabbing for Lady Stanton’s arm.

The older woman dodged her quite deftly. “No, no I need no assistance. You should not end your conversation with Lord Windsworth simply because of me. I will speak to you later.”

Then Lady Stanton was off into the crowd, leaving Felicity staring after her, her mouth partly agape. Gabriel shifted uncomfortably. This was not going according to plan at all. His intentions had been very proper. To speak to Lord Stoneworth first, then find the right time to approach Felicity.

She spun on him, her full lips pulled into a tight, thin line. “I did not realize you had been invited here today, Your Grace.”

He started at her forward statement. “I will admit to you that I was not.”

Her eyes narrowed even further. “Aha! I knew it. I knew my father would not invite you of all people into our home. What do you want? Why did you come here?”

Gabriel fought the urge to step away from her quiet accusations. He had never stepped down in a fight before, he certainly wasn’t about to start with this woman who carried half his weight, if that.

“I only wished to speak to you, Felicity.”

She stepped closer. “I gave you no leave to refer to me by my first name. I gave you no leave to refer to me at all.”

“Your anger toward me is not justified,” he said, watching her blue eyes darken with every word. He found himself wondering what color they would become if he dared to kiss her. The thought brought him up short. Those kinds of thoughts could only bring him dangerously close to being his father’s son in every way.

“Not justified?” she hissed. “You have come into my home uninvited.”

“I came here to speak to your father, nothing more,” Gabriel insisted. “And to make amends.”

She stopped speaking for a moment and caught her breath with a harsh sound. Her throat worked as she swallowed. “You have nothing to make amends to.”

“We both know that isn’t true.” Gabriel said softly.

She shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I want you to leave. Please-” She caught her breath again, but this time it was more like a sob. Gabriel’s heart lurched. He had never intended to make her cry.

And if she did, it would only serve to draw attention to them. That kind of notice was exactly what he was trying to avoid. He reached out and caught her hand, placing it in the crook of his elbow before she could protest.

She tugged, but he held fast. “What are you doing?”

He pulled her toward the terrace doors. “I’m taking you to get some air before half the ton starts listening to our conversation.”

That seemed to appease her because she no longer struggled while he took her outside and closed the doors behind them gently. The warm summer air stirred her hair as he moved them away from the doors.

She yanked her hand from his. “Please go away.”

He flinched at the broken tone of her voice. “I cannot and you know why.”

She shook her head. “No.”

Gabriel clenched his fists. No woman should fight so hard against a man’s attempts to save her, make amends to her. Yet Felicity Ellis was fighting him like a cornered wild animal. And there was only one way to deal with that situation.

Strike directly. Strike fast.

“Five years ago my brother ruined you by taking your innocence.”

She turned away from him with another sob. “No!”

He fought the urge to comfort her and pressed on. “Instead of offering for you honorably, my father and brother refused responsibility, all but daring your father to reveal the truth by calling my brother out. They ignored all demands for reparation. For justice from your father.”

“Stop.” She turned on him and though Gabriel could see the sparkle of tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, she was not openly weeping. Her chin jutted up and her shoulders flexed back with pride.

Wounded pride, but pride nonetheless. He couldn’t help but respect her for that.

“Don’t say any more,” she pleaded, clenching firsts at her sides. “Just leave it be. It is so far in the past and I have all but forgotten it.”

“That is a lie,” he said softly. “Everything about your face tells me you have not forgotten a moment of the pain and humiliation my family put your through. And the fact that you have not married, despite your popularity, despite your beauty, tells me my brother’s actions have damaged you. That is the only reason I am here today, Felicity.”

She flinched again at the use of her first name, but Gabriel ignored that. She would have to get used to it once they were wed.

“Why are you here?” she asked with a humorless laugh. “To rub my nose in my past follies? To remind me of what a stupid, ignorant girl I was? Your mission has been accomplished, Your Grace. You can go with a lightened heart. I know exactly what I am.”

He shook his head. “No! That isn’t why I’m here at all. My family name has been devastated by my father and brother’s actions. Their disregard for everyone but themselves has given me a title that no one respects. I am trying my hardest to make amends for those things. I want to start with you.”

“Make amends?” she repeated, arching one auburn brow in disbelief. “How in the world do you intend to do that with me?”

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. This was not proper, but it was still what he had come for. He might as well put his cards on the table.

“You and I should marry.”

Chapter Three

In a moment, she would wake up. This would all be a nightmare and she would go on with her life as if it had never happened. Except when Felicity pinched herself… hard… nothing changed. She remained standing on the terrace, staring up into the cool, green eyes of Gabriel Morrison.

And he was still waiting for an answer to the one statement she had never expected him to say.

“Marry you?” she repeated and the words sounded even stranger when she heard them in her own voice.

“Yes,” he said softly. His tone was surprisingly gentle. Not anything like his brother’s. Jonathon had been many things, but gentle had not been amongst them.

“You must be mad,” she whispered, her voice harsh and raw. “Or this is your idea of some kind of cruel joke.”

She began to turn away, but he reached out to catch her arm. A shocking blast of unexpected heat raced through her at the touch. He must have felt it, too, because his lips parted in surprise and their eyes met briefly. She expected him to pull back, but he didn’t, instead his strong hand curled around her forearm and held her steady.

“I am not toying with you,” he insisted, his tone just as sharp as hers had been. “I am nothing like my father, nothing like my brother.”

Felicity struggled for breath, but she couldn’t seem to manage to draw enough. Not when she was so close to this man. Not when he was touching her in such a possessive way. Staring at her with such pleading in his eyes.

“What is going on here?”

Felicity yanked away from Gabriel and turned on the voice that had interrupted her troubling thoughts. Her father stood by the terrace doorway, staring at them with a dark, angry glare. Before he said another word or took a step, Felicity knew he recognized her companion.

And judging from the way Gabriel straightened his spine and turned to her father with a deferent bow, he realized it, too.

Her father yanked the door shut and took three long steps toward them. Though he wasn’t as tall as Gabriel Morrison, the anger in his eyes would have been enough to make much larger men cower. But Gabriel didn’t. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t do anything to protect himself in case her father struck. He just stood there. Waiting. A look of resignation on his face.

As if he believed he deserved whatever he was going to get.

Felicity wrinkled her brow with confusion.

“What the hell are you doing here?” her father asked, low and dangerous. “I bloody well know you weren’t invited.”

Felicity flinched. She’d never known her father to curse in front of her. Even the day she tearfully admitted giving up her innocence, he had not spoken harshly or cruelly.

Gabriel dipped his head. “My most sincere apologies, Lord Stoneworth. I assure you that I would not have made entry to your home uninvited except that I didn’t think you would speak to me if I sent word first.”

“You are correct in that assessment.” Her father stepped forward again yet Gabriel still stood his ground. Felicity gasped as her father clenched fists around the other man’s jacket and gave him a shake. She had never seen him filled with such fury before.

Fury that was all her fault. The entire situation was her fault. Because she had surrendered control to Gabriel’s brother, all these consequences were hers to live.

Felicity stepped forward to intervene if she had to. The Duke was much bigger and much younger than her father. He could certainly put the older man on his back, injure him if he chose to do so. Except… he wasn’t. Felicity came to a stop, staring at Gabriel as he simply allowed the threats of violence inherent to her father’s brutal grip and flashing eyes. The Duke made no attempt to defend himself.

“Why are you, of all men, alone with your hands my daughter? Wasn’t what your brother did enough?” her father continued.

Gabriel winced again. “I should not be, my lord. And if you need to demand satisfaction for my utter lack of propriety, I am prepared to make reparations. In fact, that is why I am here. Not to cause your family,” he shot her a pleading glance. “Or Lady Felicity, more grief, I assure you.”

Her father gave an incredulous snort, though his fingers relaxed from Gabriel’s jacket. He stepped back with folded arms and stared as Gabriel smoothed his mangled lapels. “Felicity, go inside.”

She shook her head. She wasn’t about to leave him alone with someone from the Windsworth line. Despite the new Duke’s attempts at propriety and politeness, she didn’t trust him. She couldn’t afford to, especially after his ridiculous offer of marriage that still rang in her ears.

“No, Father.”

Gabriel cast her a side glance and his eyes lit up in surprise. As if he hadn’t expected her to be so bold as to deny her father’s order. Blood burned hot in her cheeks at that expression. He knew what she had done in the past. Probably he thought her nothing more than an empty headed chit with easy virtue. Her chin lifted in defiance as she looked away.

Her father turned on her. “Felicity, what I am about to say is not something for your ears.”

She reached up and placed a hand on his arm and found herself trembling. “This is because of what I-” the blush burned hotter. “-did. I want to stay.”

“My lord,” Gabriel interrupted. “I only ask that you hear what I’ve come to say. If, after I have finished, your mind is not changed, I will completely understand and you may do your worst to me. But I beg only a few moments of your time to hear my statement and my offer.”

Felicity’s father held her gaze for a long moment. She expected him to refuse and tell Gabriel to get out, but his expression didn’t reflect that. He almost looked… broken. Like he had after his confrontation with Jonathon Morrison and his father five long years before. Like he was out of choices.

He sighed before he turned his gaze on Gabriel. There was a wealth of mistrust in his eyes, but to her surprise, he nodded once. “Very well, Your Grace. I will hear you. But not on the terrace. Come inside where we may have privacy. I do not wish the entire party to be privy to whatever you want to say.”

“Of course,” Gabriel said with a respectful tilt of his head.

Felicity’s eyes widened as her father took her hand and led them back inside. What? Was he really going to listen to this man and his ridiculous notions? Well, Gabriel Morrison would be in for an unpleasant shock if he dared to make his impertinent offer for her hand in her father’s earshot. And she could not wait to see his face after he did.

#

Gabriel took a deep breath as Lord Stoneworth shut the door to his private office and motioned for him to sit. He did so, facing the settee where Felicity and her father sat together. Both of them were cold, their expressions leaving little of their thoughts about him to the imagination. But he expected that. It was part of what he would have to overcome thanks to his father and brother.

“My lord,” he began. “You have probably surmised that I know of the… incident that occurred between your daughter and my brother a few years ago.”

Lord Stoneworth stiffened and Felicity’s face darkened with a blush that made her bright eyes stand out in even starker relief. They were so uncommonly blue, so filled with life and emotion. He stared for a fraction of a second too long before he forced himself to continue.

“And I am also aware of how badly that situation was handled at the time. Now that I have inherited the Duchy, I am doing my best to make reparations for the damage my family has done in many quarters. Starting with your daughter.”

Stoneworth arched a brow and his expression remained incredulous, though there was a faint light of interest in his stare. “You are trying to make amends for their behavior?”

He nodded. “Yes. And it is-it is very difficult, sir. I’m sure you know that yours is not the only family my father and brother betrayed. Their drinking, the excessive gambling, the broken bargains… they are well-known in Society. I realize it could take me years to regain even a fraction of the respect our name once inspired, but I am driven to try.”

Stoneworth’s face relaxed, but Felicity’s demeanor had not changed. She remained sitting bone straight, her arms folded like a shield across her chest, her eyes narrowed. Would he ever crack that icy demeanor and see the real woman inside?

Gabriel started. Did he want to see the real woman? That wasn’t what he’d come for today. He had to offer for Felicity because of what had been done to her in the past. When he arrived, he’d considered it a sacrifice he had to make to regain some honor and respect.

Now, looking at her, he didn’t feel like it was such a sacrifice anymore. There was something about this woman…

“Your Grace?”

He shook off his musings to pay attention to Felicity’s father. The other man was glaring at him. Clearly he hadn’t missed Gabriel’s blatant perusal of his daughter. Damn, but that was bad form. It only served to prove he was his father’s son.

And he was beginning to wonder if he truly was that. His strong reactions to the young woman his brother had ruined were unexpected. Unwelcomed. He could only hope they wouldn’t prove to be undeniable, as well.

“Do continue,” Lord Stoneworth pressed. “I am fascinated by where all this is leading. Tell me, did you come here to offer my daughter some kind of financial settlement for what your brother took from her?”

Gabriel worked hard to keep his expression blank. Though the world knew about his family’s shames, Society as a whole was not fully aware of their financial troubles. His father had done a very good job keeping that fact utterly private, mostly by cheating merchants and offering ungentlemanly reasons for why he refused to pay debts rather than the truth.

“No, a financial settlement will not be enough, I don’t think,” he said, casting a glance at Felicity. He had to hand it to her. Despite the humiliating topic, she was holding up well. Her face flamed nearly as red as her hair, but she kept that proud tilt to her chin. The fire in her eyes drew him in inexplicably.

“Then what do you suggest?” her father asked.

It was Felicity who answered, thrusting her shoulders back with a bark of humorless laughter. “On the terrace, he offered to marry me. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous in your life?”

Gabriel bit back frustration at her interruption and locked gazes with Lord Stoneworth. He was ready for the man to come flying out of his seat and pound him. Instead, her father tilted his head, searching Gabriel’s eyes for… something. Perhaps it was honesty, perhaps it was honor… Gabriel could only hope he found both there. If he could garner her father’s support, it would be much easier to break down Felicity’s barriers to this union.

“Are you serious in this offer?” her father asked quietly.

Gabriel nodded. “I am, sir. When I saw that your daughter was still unattached, despite her talent and her beauty and her…” he cleared his throat. “…er, charm, I knew that what my brother did must have had some effect on her chances in the marriage mart. If we formed a union, I would make up for what my brother did, as well as align myself with your family.”

“You wish to have the benefit of our respect in Society?” The older man sneered.

“I would be lying if I said no. And I am not like my father and brother.” He shot Felicity another glance. “I do not lie.”

Felicity surged to her feet and turned on her father. “Tell him this is out of the question.”

Stoneworth looked up at her with a brief sadness in his eyes. Something born from such love that Gabriel turned away from it. He’d certainly never seen that expression from his own father. There had only been resentment. Cold dismissal. Anger and pain.

“Felicity, we should speak about this privately,” her father said softly.

Hope sprung in Gabriel’s chest. If her father did not automatically dismiss his offer out of hand, he had a chance.

“Privately?” Felicity repeated and the hope fled at her shocked and horrified tone. “What is there to discuss? Do you really expect me to entertain an offer of marriage from… from…” She cast a quick glance in his direction. “This man?”

Her father’s chin dipped in defeat. “I do not like to see you resigned to being an old maid when you are still so young, my dear. I don’t like the idea of you giving up your dreams for children and a home and a life of your own. I know you’ve done that since you-”

“Made the worst mistake of my life?” Felicity said softly, filling in her father’s hesitation. “So you would rather see me married to someone who does not care for me? Who I could never care for?”

Gabriel flinched. Her hatred of him thanks to his family ran very deep. He understood that, but he still despised it for all it represented. This was the kind of prejudice he would be fighting to overcome for years. A judgment based on two men he had hardly known, despite their shared blood.

He wanted to prove her wrong. Prove everyone wrong.

Lord Stoneworth tilted his head. “You are angry now and surprised by this, as I am. But I don’t think it wise to dismiss it out of hand. Not until you’ve given this man a chance to prove he is not like his brother.”

“Or prove he is exactly like Jonathon,” Felicity barked, her gaze snaring his with heated anger that ripped through him.

Slowly, Gabriel got to his feet. He clenched fists at his side as frustration threatened to overwhelm him. “I have told you, my lady, I am not like my brother.”

“Do I take your word on that?” she sneered. “Like I did in the past?”

“No. Give me a chance to prove it to you,” he snapped back before he tempered his tone. “Give me a chance to show you I’m worthy of your trust. I’m certain you would not like to be judged on the mistakes of one night. Please do not judge me based on the actions of another man.”

Felicity jolted back, as if his words had actually affected her. She shook her head like she was shaking off the effects, then turned on her father and Gabriel saw tears sparkling in her eyes.

“Please, Father,” she whispered.

“Felicity, you cannot throw your life away based upon one night,” he answered. His gaze snagged Gabriel’s. “I won’t allow you to do that any longer. The young man has asked for a chance to prove his worthiness. You will allow him to do so. I won’t force you to marry him, but I will not let you refuse him until we’ve all had a chance to judge his worth based upon his own actions. His own words.”

Her eyes grew impossibly wide and her mouth opened and shut in mute shock. Then she turned and ran from the room without so much as a glance in his direction.

Sudden exhaustion overtook Gabriel and he sank back down into the chair with a long sigh. He looked up to find Lord Stoneworth watching him. Appraising him.

“She will not make it easy for you,” he said softly and Gabriel couldn’t tell what her father thought of that.

“Nor should she,” he replied, ignoring the throbbing of his head. “I would not expect anything different.”

“Give her a day, then call again,” Stoneworth said as he got to his feet. “I’ll make certain she at least takes tea with you. The rest will be up to you.”

The other man began to leave the room, but at the door he hesitated. “Five years ago when I first approached your father about her ruination, I was not willing to destroy her reputation in order to force your brother into marrying her. Your family all but dared me to go public and challenge him. But if you harm her, if you bring her pain, if you touch her in any way that is inappropriate… I will have your blood. I’ll have your head.”

Gabriel got up with a nod. “I understand.”

“Good afternoon.”

Chapter Four

“I’m not really sure what it is you want from us, Felicity.” Jane Hughes sipped her tea as she looked to her husband’s grandmother with a shrug. “But you know I adore you and I’ll do anything to help you.”

“Yes, dearest,” Lady Stanton said with a nod. “But don’t keep us in suspense any longer. Your note was so strange.”

Felicity sighed as she set her untouched tea cup to the side. Clenching her fists in her lap, she looked at the two women before her. Jane had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. Long before she had met and fallen in love with Wesley Stanton, Lady Stanton’s grandson. Felicity had a hand in their very happy union and had never been happier for her friend.

But now she needed Jane’s help and Lady Stanton’s, too. But for the opposite reason. She didn’t want them to help her find true love. She needed them to help her avoid Gabriel Morrison’s advances. And they could never know the true reason why.

“Felicity,” Jane said softly. “What is wrong? Why do you look so troubled?”

“Um, well I’m certain you noticed the Duke of Windsworth’s presence at my recital two days ago,” she began, willing the quell in her voice to cease without success. She arched a brow at Lady Stanton. “I know you did. You abandoned me to the man’s company!”

A ghost of a smile turned up the older woman’s lips. “Abandoned to the company of a handsome, attentive man. What horrors.”

“They are horrors to me, I’m afraid,” she said with a sigh. “The Duke wishes to pursue my hand and my father, for some unknown reason, has decided to allow that.”

Jane rose to her feet, raising clenched hands over her heart. “Oh, Felicity! That is wonderful. I’ve often wondered why you never accepted the advances of any of the men in our acquaintance.”

Felicity winced. No, she had kept her secret very well. It was too humiliating to admit she’d surrendered her virtue to Jonathon, even to Jane or Lady Stanton.

“Well, I have no intention of accepting Windsworth’s advances either!” she declared with more heat than she had intended. Both Jane and Lady Stanton stared at her.

“Why ever not?” Lady Stanton asked blankly. “What is so terrible about Gabriel Morrison that you would deny him before he even has a chance to court you?”

Felicity bit her lip. “You know how he is viewed. His family absolutely destroyed their name. I could never align myself with such a man.”

Jane’s face suddenly paled and she sank back into her chair with a frown. “You aligned yourself with me despite my family’s reputation.”

Felicity spun on her friend in horror. She hadn’t even thought about how her declaration would sound to Jane, who had been punished for her own family shames not that long ago. Now she saw the flicker of self-doubt in Jane’s brown eyes that hadn’t been there since Wesley Stanton declared his devotion to her.

“I never meant that, Jane,” she said as she rushed to Jane’s chair. Sinking down before her, she clasped her friend’s hands and squeezed.

“You ought not judge Gabriel Morrison on his family’s habits,” Jane said softly. “Wesley says he’s made it clear he will not behave as his father and brother. In fact, he seems to already be trying to make reparations for things they did. You should give him the same benefit of friendship as you gave me. Perhaps he’ll surprise you.”

Felicity froze. Jane’s words mirrored Gabriel’s own a two nights before. He had asked her not to judge him on two stranger’s actions, as she would not like to be judged for her foolish surrender to his brother. When he said those things, with a strength and inner power lighting his striking green eyes, she had been surprised by how moved she’d been. How drawn to him.

But hadn’t Jonathon done the same thing? Brought her in with his seemingly earnest declarations about a future and then tossed her aside. She had been afraid to let another man close to her ever since, and for more reasons than that her lack of innocence would come out if a man asked for her hand and she accepted.

“There are things I cannot tell you about my reluctance to allow Windsworth too close,” she finally admitted on a low whisper. She cast a glance at Lady Stanton.

“I wondered why your reaction to that name was so strong,” she said with a tilt of her head. “There is more to all this than meets the eye.”

Felicity nodded as hot blood burned at her cheeks. “Yes. I can’t tell you why, though. I… I just can’t. But I do need your help. I asked my father to allow you two to be my chaperones today and have Gabriel come here for his call on me, rather than my own home.”

“Why?” Jane asked, her gaze still clouded by her own thoughts and memories.

“Because I want to give him every reason not to pursue his notion of marrying me,” Felicity admitted, surprised that shame filled her at that statement. “And my father would put a stop to it.”

“Oh, Felicity,” Jane breathed as she pulled her hands from her friend’s, got to her feet and paced to the fireplace.

Felicity rose, watching her friend with even more guilt gnawing at her soul. She could simply explain, but… no… no, she couldn’t bear to say what she’d done to Jane and Lady Stanton. It was bad enough Gabriel knew. It was bad enough anyone knew about her lack of control.

“Please!” she begged, turning to Lady Stanton. “Please, believe that I know best in this matter.”

Lady Stanton stared at her and there was an unreadable expression in her gaze. Finally, she nodded once. “I think you are making a mistake, but I learned long ago that a young person is difficult to steer from whatever she thinks her destiny to be. What can we do to assist you?”

Felicity sighed, though she was surprised that relief didn’t wash through her like she thought it would. But she shrugged off her odd disappointment and said, “I have brought another gown to wear. I hoped I could take my maid and use one of your rooms to prepare myself. When I return, we can discuss my plan in further detail.”

Lady Stanton nodded once and directed her to a guest room upstairs. After Felicity had gone to collect her maid, Jane turned on her grandmother-in-law with an aghast expression.

“Oh, Grandmother! How could you?”

Lady Stanton smiled as she reached a hand out to Jane. “Dearest Jane, all I said was that a young person was difficult to steer, not impossible. Let us simply observe the Duke and Felicity for a little while. And then, when the moment is right, we will simply give her a shove toward what is best for her. Even if it is the thing that makes her look like a frightened deer.”

Jane caught Lady Stanton’s hand with a smile lightening her pretty face. “Ah, you are a schemer, my lady. Which is why Wesley and I love you so. Yes, any man who weds Felicity will need the patience of a saint. It will be good to see how the poor man reacts to her games. But I must tell you, knowing what I do, I tend to take Lord Windsworth’s side in the war.”

“So do I, my dear.” Lady Stanton smiled. “So do I.”

#

Gabriel paced the length of Lady Abigail Stanton’s parlor, watching the door with every step. He had not expected to be called here for his scheduled meeting with Felicity, and he knew from bitter experience that the unexpected was often equated with the unpleasant.

The parlor door opened and Lady Stanton was wheeled into the room by a pretty young woman with sparkling brown eyes.

“Ah, Lord Windsworth,” Lady Stanton said with a mischievous grin that made Gabriel’s stomach clench. What was he walking in to? “I am so glad you could join us today. Felicity will be with us momentarily. Have you met my grandson’s wife?” She motioned to the young woman behind her.

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure.” Gabriel stepped forward, girding himself for the censure he often found in members of the ton.

“Lady Jane Stanton, may I present His Grace, the Duke of Windsworth.”

“Your Grace.” The young woman surprised him by stepping around her grandmother’s chair and offering him a hand with no hesitation. “How lovely it is to make your acquaintance.”

Gabriel stared for a moment before he recalled his manners and brushed a kiss across the lady’s glove. The welcome and understanding in her eyes wasn’t something he was accustomed to. “Thank you.”

“I know you have been out of Society for a long while,” the young woman continued. “I wonder if you and your mother would honor my husband and me at a small party we are hosting Wednesday next? There will only be ten or so couples in attendance, but I can tell you they are lords and ladies that you may wish to make an acquaintance with.”

Gabriel swallowed hard. Was this an angle? A trap? No, he didn’t see anything disingenuous in her smile or stare. Only a genuine desire to… help. Like she understood his position on some level.

“Thank you, my lady. I would be greatly appreciative.”

“Wonderful,” the younger Lady Stanton said as she stepped back to assist the elder Lady Stanton. “I will send an invitation round in a few days.”

Before he could thank her again for her kindness, the door to the parlor opened and Felicity stepped inside. Gabriel’s words fell away as he took in the sight of her. She was wearing a pink gown that clashed rather badly with her auburn hair, but it wasn’t the color that caught his eye. It was the cut. A swooping neckline that came from a more daring era teased along the slope of her cleavage. And she wasn’t wearing gloves, either.

Rouge, however, she did have in abundance, along with reddened lips either from more make up or… God help him… nibbling.

Instantly he knew what she was doing. Since he was trying to recover his reputation, she was presenting herself in a most scandalous fashion, probably in the hopes of frightening him away. And it should have.

Unfortunately, his immediate reaction was quite the opposite. Seeing her in such a daring, sensual way made him want to cross the room, tangle his fingers in her red locks and bring his mouth down on hers. He wanted to make her groan like the wanton she was trying to pretend she was.

With a start, he shoved those feelings away. Damn her for daring the rake he didn’t want to be to show himself, even for a moment. He smoothed the reaction from his face and stepped forward. He would not play her games.

“Good afternoon, Lady Felicity,” he said, offering a hand.

She hesitated, her blue gaze darting to her bare fingers as if she hadn’t thought through her plan that well. Bare skin would touch bare skin. Utterly inappropriate, despite her gaudy costume.

“Good afternoon, Your Grace,” she managed to croak out as she took his hand.

Heated lightening struck him at the touch, rocking him back on his heels and making that unwanted rake roar out desire that echoed in his bloodstream.

Immediately he released her hand and let her pass. She took a place on one of the chairs beside the fire. The Ladies Stanton placed themselves side by side on the settee, leaving the chair beside Felicity as his only option.

“Aren’t you going to compliment me on my appearance?” Felicity asked, arching a brow in challenge as he sat.

Lady Jane’s eyes went wide and Lady Stanton choked on her tea, but neither said anything to interfere. Gabriel cast them both a quick glance. So, Felicity had brought him here so she could do and say outrageous things without her father’s intervention. So be it.

He turned toward her and let his gaze slip up and down her form in a lazy perusal that was as much a torment to himself as an embarrassment to her. By the time he met her eyes, her cheeks were blazing and that had nothing to do with her rouge.

“You look lovely, Lady Felicity,” he said, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. “Very unique.”

He could have sworn Lady Stanton choked on a very unladylike laugh, but Lady Jane intercepted before he was certain. She smiled at him.

“My husband mentioned that you were raised in Shelton, Your Grace.”

Gabriel nodded, though he didn’t take his eyes from Felicity. She was glaring at him openly. He held her eyes until she moved her stare away.

“Yes, it is a lovely part of England. I miss it,” he said, smiling that he had won that little mini battle, at least. The larger war was another factor entirely. He sighed. If only there didn’t have to be a war. If only Felicity could see that he was trying to do the honorable thing. That it was best for her.

Her resistance was so utterly frustrating.

“What did you do up in the wilds, Your Grace?” Felicity asked as she lifted her cup of tea to her lips with an unladylike slurp. “Garden?”

He arched a brow. Her tone was aggressive and confrontational, her dress utterly inappropriate, but when he searched her stare he didn’t see a calculating woman. He saw a frightened one. Though Felicity Ellis might pretend to be strong and untouchable, she wasn’t. He had a feeling much of her fear had to do with Jonathon. His brother’s betrayal had touched her deeper than she would possibly ever admit.

And seeing the terror in the bright depths of her eyes gave him the most unexpected reaction of all. He wanted to comfort her. Despite the fact that she was behaving badly, despite the fact that she was attempting to thwart his careful plans… he still had a strange urge to whisper to her that everything would be all right.

That he would never, ever hurt her as she’d been hurt in the past. And that he would never allow anyone else to hurt her either.

“Your Grace?”

Her snide tone brought him out of his haze and Gabriel forced a smile. She had weapons in her arsenal. Clearly, he would have to challenge her with weapons of his own.

“Yes, I do admit my mother’s estate had a very nice garden and I did occasionally enjoy strolling in it.” He turned and smiled at Lady Stanton. “I noticed your gardens were very lovely, as well. Would you mind if I took a turn about them with Lady Felicity? We would stay within your line of sight, of course.”

Felicity’s eyes went wide and she opened her mouth to protest, but Lady Stanton was already nodding. “Of course, my lord. No one could protest the appropriateness of such a thing. You may exit through the French doors there and if you turn left at the bottom of the terrace stair, you’ll find my favorite rose garden awaiting you.”

Jane clasped her hands together. “A very romantic spot for courting, indeed.”

Felicity’s nostrils flared slightly and she gave her two friends a look that could have frozen hell itself, but when Gabriel got to his feet and offered her an arm, she did not refuse him. Her lips thin and pursed, she got to her feet and gingerly pressed her fingers against his inner elbow and allowed him to take her outside.

As they began to make their way down the marble steps toward the gardens below, Gabriel drew in a long breath. Now that he would be alone, albeit briefly, with Felicity, he had to make the most of their time together.

#

Felicity wanted to scream as they took the final step into Lady Stanton’s beautiful gardens. This afternoon was not going according to plan at all. Gabriel hadn’t reacted to her outfit with shock or horror, as she hoped. In fact, the way he looked her up and down when she first entered the room had been anything but scandalized.

Scandalous, yes. Scandalized, no. His stare had all but burned into her, searing her flesh. To make matters worse her body, which should have been revolted by his heated appraisal, had instead reacted all wrong. She had gotten… hot. Tingly. And all too aware of parts of her body that she usually tried to ignore. They’d only gotten her into trouble in the past.

And then she’d tried being rude, but Gabriel had reacted with nothing but polite answers to her forward and downright aggressive questions. From the light of amusement in his eyes, it was almost like he was enjoying her attempts to make him go away.

Blasted man.

And while she was at it, blast her ‘friends’, too. Weren’t Jane and Lady Stanton supposed to be helping her? Instead, Jane was being utterly kind and Lady Stanton was practically pushing Felicity into Gabriel’s waiting arms.

She pushed herself away from those surprisingly strong arms and paced across the garden to put some distance between them.

“Why won’t you just take the hint and go away?” she finally asked through clenched teeth.

“You must be getting desperate now,” Gabriel said from behind her. When she turned, she found he had picked a perfect red rose from Lady Stanton’s bushes. “You’re not even trying to pretend anymore.”

Felicity stared as Gabriel inhaled the sweet fragrance of the flower. For some reason, the bold color made her stare shift lower to his lips. Very nice lips they were, too. Full, firm… they looked like they would be nice lips to kiss.

“I’m not pretending anything,” she croaked out, shocked by her wayward thoughts. She folded her arms across her chest in an instinctive shield.

Gabriel took a long step toward her, his green eyes darkening. “I think you are. In fact, I think you have been for a very long time. You pretend that what my brother did does not affect you. That you don’t care if you’re alone. That you despise me. But I think what you’re pretending most is that you aren’t afraid. You are. I see through you.”

Felicity gasped at that bold statement and the truth behind it. How could this man, who didn’t even know anything about her except for one horrible thing from her past, see so deeply into the hidden parts of her soul?

“I’m not afraid of you.”

He chuckled and the sound cut through the air between them as he took another step in her direction. “Yes, you are. I saw it earlier today and it’s even clearer now that you don’t have your friends to shield you. You are afraid of me. You’re afraid of the fact that I know the truth about you and I don’t judge you for it. You’re afraid that that marrying me is the right thing to do. You’re afraid that I might be the very future you’ve been trying to avoid for so many years.”

Felicity could scarce hear him anymore for the violent pounding of her heart. “Stop.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, Felicity,” he whispered as he moved so close that she could feel his body heat. Reaching out he brushed the rose against her cheek. The satin of the petals caressed her skin and she found her eyes closing against her will.

“Yes, I do, Gabriel,” she whispered. Her eyes flew open. Had she just called him by his given name?

Her eyes darted up and what she saw in his stare made her want to run. There was a focused intensity there. A quiet storm of desire that he was attempting to rein in, but failing miserably.

And she knew instinctively what was going to happen next. She also knew she could turn away from it. If she did, he wouldn’t follow her. She had already surmised that Gabriel was very different from Jonathon. He might continue to press his suit and her boundaries, but he wouldn’t take what she didn’t willingly give.

But she didn’t run. Not when he dipped his head toward her. Not when the flower he was holding dropped to the ground between them. Not when he cupped the back of her neck.

No, Felicity let her eyes drift shut and savored the long forgotten feel of a man’s lips pressing against hers. She had been correct. They were very nice lips to kiss. Better than nice. Intoxicating.

He drew her a bit closer and Felicity gasped. When her lips parted, he took advantage, darting the tip of his tongue along the crease of her mouth and tasting her. It had been a long time, but instinct kicked in. Felicity fisted her hands against his back and tentatively brushed her tongue to his. He even tasted good.

Then, just as suddenly as the kiss began, it ended. Gabriel released her and took a long step back. Felicity was shocked to find herself reaching out for him and forced her trembling hands down to her sides.

In the still of the garden, they stared at each other. Gabriel’s breath came in harsh gasps and his green eyes were dark as the jungle. The haze of the kiss faded and Felicity realized, with horror, what she had done.

“That-that should not have happened,” she choked out, lifting her fingers to cover her hot mouth.

Gabriel groaned as she did so, his eyes fluttering shut like it hurt him to look at her. “No. Certainly not yet. I-I am sorry. I should go.”

Felicity bit back her desire to ask him to stay and watched him give her a short bow and then make his way back across the garden toward the house. When he was out of sight, Felicity sat down on one of the stone benches in the middle of the rose garden. Her heart was throbbing, her head was spinning and emotions hit her from all sides.

Except one. The one she had been expecting more than any other. She felt no shame. Not like the first time she’d kissed Jonathon. Certainly nothing like after she’d given him her virtue.

In fact, when she thought of the kiss with Gabriel, what she felt was… need. She wanted more.

With a moan, she covered her face with her hands. More was the one thing she’d told herself she could never have. And now it was being offered to her on a gilded platter, along with a future she had thought would never exist.

Chapter Five

Gabriel lifted a tumbler of sherry to his lips and took a sip of the expensive liquor, a much higher quality than any that remained in his father’s home. He sighed with pleasure at the rich flavor. This was the first moment alone he’d had since he and his mother had arrived at Lord and Lady Stanton’s home over an hour before. Not that he was complaining. On the whole, this gathering had been most beneficial.

He watched his mother chat with some of the influential party guests and couldn’t help but smile. When they arrived, she had been nervous, certain they would be shunned. But the Stantons had been so open, so welcoming that no one else had dared give them the cut direct.

Lady Jane had been correct when she issued her invitation to the soiree a few days before. Coming here was a very good first step in returning honor to his tarnished family name. And giving his mother back some of her dignity.

He sighed. Those facts, along with the very genuine offer of friendship Wesley Stanton had given him, should have made Gabriel happy. But he wasn’t.

Slowly, he let his gaze move around the perimeter of the room until he found Felicity in the crowd. She was standing with a group of giggling debutantes, but from the far away look in her eyes, she was not engaged by their mindless chatter. She looked as forlorn and confused as he, himself, felt.

Gabriel couldn’t help but wonder if the kiss they shared in Lady Stanton’s garden was the cause of her distraction.

It was bloody well the cause of his. That ill-advised kiss was all he could think about since they parted ways a few days before. The kiss and Felicity, herself. Her image had haunted his days and tormented his nights. In the middle of conversations with the solicitor who was assisting him with finances, he would find himself thinking of Felicity’s mouth. Or her laugh. Or her infrequent smiles.

When he was alone, he thought of her stubborn pride. Her rare beauty. Her spirit, which both challenged him and made him admire her all the more.

And with those thoughts, those unwanted intrusions, came an even more shocking realization. Jonathon had been a fool to let Felicity go. After his brother took her innocence, he should have moved heaven and earth to marry her and erase her shame. Gabriel knew that… and yet he was grateful for his brother’s selfish indulgence. Jonathon’s weakness had left wide open a door that Gabriel very much longed to walk through.

Yes, he wanted Felicity by his side. And now he wanted that for so much more than the financial and shameful reasons that had been the original impetus for his courtship.

Felicity suddenly snapped to attention and her dark blue eyes focused sharply on him. For a moment, her reaction to his stare was utterly unguarded. She sucked in a breath and a rosy blush darkened the apples of her cheeks. In her face, he saw embarrassment, a trace of anger, but there was something more.

Desire. It flickered, however briefly, in her eyes. And called out to his own need to be near her. To touch her. To have her.

Her lips pursed and the mask she so often wore slipped over her features, blocking out her emotions in a frustratingly quick fashion. Damn, but he wished he could see into her heart more often.

She turned to her companions and quickly excused herself, then thrust her shoulders back like she was about to face a firing squad and moved toward him.

Gabriel caught his breath. Anticipation curled in his belly, made him hot, made him think of things he desperately did not want to consider. Thoughts of sultry nights and tangled limbs. Of waking up next to this woman every morning.

“Your Grace?”

He shook off the thoughts and prayed she wouldn’t notice the sudden state of arousal he found himself in. “Good afternoon, Felicity.”

She swallowed hard and suddenly began to fiddle with a loose string on the hem of her sleeve. Gabriel could see she was struggling with whatever she wanted to say and prepared himself for the worst. After three days of consideration, she probably had some blistering comments about their kiss.

“I would like to speak to you again about this courtship idea of yours,” she finally said.

Gabriel arched a brow. “Yes?”

“Have you not changed your mind yet about your ridiculous notion of marrying me?” she asked, dropping her voice to a whisper as she cast her gaze around.

He stifled a sigh. Dear God, was she still on that subject? She was singular, he granted her that.

“Why would I change my mind? It’s a capital notion.”

Her gaze darted to his. “For pity’s sake, Gabriel, certainly you can see now that we do not suit!”

Her suddenly elevated tone made a few people glance up and Felicity’s face darkened in a deeper blush.

Gabriel clenched his fists at his sides. He was trying to maintain patience, he truly was, but this woman tested him beyond reason.

“Come with me,” he growled as he caught her arm.

She recoiled from his touch, but he held firm, guiding her toward the terrace doors without hesitation. Felicity opened her mouth as if to speak, but then reconsidered and let him take her outside. He led her away from the main area of the veranda to a more secluded corner where they would not be interrupted. Once they were alone, she pulled her arm from his and glared at him.

“This is not a good idea,” she snapped.

“You mean after what happened the last time we were alone?” he drawled, happy he could sound unaffected by her, despite how untrue that was. “I promise you, dear Felicity, I can control myself for a few moments. I have more important things on my mind than kissing you.”

Liar.

Felicity’s eyes widened, but Gabriel did not let her interrupt. For once she would let him have his way.

“I want to know something,” he said, folding his arms as he watched her pace the area. “I want to know if you’ll ever stop comparing my conduct to my brother’s?”

She stopped at that question and turned on him. “Is that what you think?”

“I know that is what you do,” he said on a sigh. “You always believe I am right at the very edge of hurting you like Jonathon did. Despite my actions and my words, you cannot see anything but him when you look into my eyes. Do you deny it?”

With a catch of her breath, she stepped toward him. Her gaze came up and snagged his. She held there for a long moment, watching him. Judging him, he was certain. There was a struggle in her stare, just as there had been earlier. A war inside her. It was the only thing that made him worry about a union between them. The idea that she would always see Jonathon when she looked at him.

“Oh, Gabriel,” she finally said softly. “In the beginning, it is true I compared you to your brother. I thought you were the same man, only in a different package. I was certain you were playing a game like he always did. But-” she stopped. “I cannot believe I am saying this-”

“What?” Gabriel whispered as he moved a few inches closer. God, she was beautiful in the afternoon sunlight. So fresh. And he ached to touch her, but he couldn’t. Not yet.

She swallowed again and tears began to sparkle in the corners of her eyes. “Now that I have begun to know you, now that all the news of your deeds have reached my ears, I can see you’re not like him. If I compare you, Gabriel, Jonathon falls far short in my estimation. You are-you are a good man and I think you do have good intentions. And I appreciate your wanting to make amends for-” She blushed again. “-for what I lost. But it is wrong for you to marry me just to prove some point about your character, just to make me whole. You told me when we met that I shouldn’t judge you by the actions of another man. Well, you should not base your own future on his actions, either. No matter how noble that may be.”

Gabriel stared at her. For the first time since he met Felicity, she wasn’t hiding. She wasn’t pretending. She looked up at him with such honesty that he ached at the sight. Not with desire, but with something much more tender. Something he had not expected to find in the spirited, closed off woman he thought to marry to pay a debt.

She was so much more to him now. But there was still something he longed to know.

“Did you love my brother?”

#

Felicity drew back, stunned by both Gabriel’s pointed question and the look in his eyes. There was a softness there that hadn’t existed before. A tenderness that both frightened and moved her. It matched her own and that was terrifying. Why did it hurt so much to tell him not to throw his life away on her?

And why did she want so desperately long for him to tell her he still wanted her?

But that wasn’t what he was telling her. Instead, he asked her about Jonathon. About her tainted past. He deserved an answer. Perhaps he was the only one who ever had.

“I thought I did love him,” she admitted.

Although she did not want to talk about that painful time in her life, for the first time she didn’t believe she would be judged.

“You thought you did?” he repeated, tilting his head.

She nodded. “I was young and he was handsome. He was the one all the girls wanted to ‘catch’. When he began to pay special attention to me, I was utterly charmed. I should not have surrendered to his desires, but I was so certain he would marry me, as he promised. I thought it was what I should want. But it was a foolish notion. Even if he had married me, I would not have been happy.”

Gabriel drew back in surprise. “You think not? Why?”

Felicity sighed. That was a subject she had ruminated over many a time during the years of her shame and guilt. And even more since Gabriel came into her life. But she’d never spoken her thoughts aloud to anyone.

Until now.

“Forgive me for speaking plainly, but your brother was a ne’er-do-well. A dandy and a womanizer. Frivolous to his very soul. And though I was silly in my own way at the time, a marriage with him would have brought me nothing but misery. In the end, I would have wished for another kind of man.”

Gabriel was closer now, though she didn’t recall that he had moved. It seemed like if she took a deep breath, she could smell the faintly spicy hint of his skin, feel the heat of his breath and body heat. It was rather dizzying, especially when coupled with the intensity of his gaze.

“What kind of man would you have picked?” he asked, his voice so low that it barely carried.

She looked at him, sunlight glowing down on his handsome face and reflecting in his dark eyes. A voice whispered from within her, echoing in her brain.

You. I would have picked you.

“I would have picked a man with honor,” she whispered, blinking back sudden tears. “A man with purpose. With goals. A kind man. A good man.”

“You said I was a good man,” His voice was suddenly low and husky. The rumbling timbre seemed to roll through her bloodstream and settle in her belly. “And I know I mean something to you.”

She shook her head. “No.”

“The kiss proves it.”

Felicity turned her face. She should have known he’d come around to that eventually. “The kiss meant nothing to me. And while I appreciate your misguided attempt to help me, you mean nothing to me, either. So go. Go away and find another woman to marry. It is not meant to be.”

“I’m sorry to disagree with a lady, but I’ve never heard such poppycock in my life.”

Felicity spun back and found herself caught in Gabriel’s arms. He pulled her a little closer and looked down into her face. Her body tingled at the touch, heating and yearning for everything she had so long told herself she would never have.

“The kiss meant something to you, as it did to me,” he said, so low and close to her ear that she felt his breath caress her face. “And I mean something to you, or you wouldn’t spend so much time running from me.”

“Gabriel,” she said, but the sound was more like a sob.

“You are afraid to care for me, for any man, because you don’t want to repeat the past. But you say you can see I’m not Jonathon. And you are not the same foolish girl who believed she loved someone so utterly wrong for her. Don’t destroy your future because of the past. I know how much the past can cut, but we learn from it. We grow from it.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against the tip of her nose. “We move away from it, Felicity. Move away from it with me.”

She shut her eyes. Tremors wracked her and she knew if Gabriel wasn’t holding her, she would not remain upright. How could she deny him when he was offering her so much? But at the same time, how could she take what he offered? She had been denying herself for so long, she was afraid to give in to her desires. To trust. To have faith in herself or him.

But then his hand came up and he cupped her cheek. Tilting her face upward. “Felicity, we could be so happy. I would make you happy. I swear it to you. Please, please marry me. Be with me. Not because of the past. Because of right now. Please.”

Her mouth opened, her lips trembled and she knew she could not deny him. “Yes.”

His eyes widened and the flash of pure joy she saw on his face erased any lingering doubts. Then his mouth came down and erased her thoughts, as well.

If she had been stunned by his first kiss, Felicity welcomed the second. When his tongue touched hers and he stroked across the roof of her mouth, it was as if she had come home. It was right. It was everything she wanted. It was more.

And she would have this… and all the more… for the rest of her life. Suddenly her memories of what happened between a man and a woman were thrilling rather than shameful. Gabriel would touch her, fill her, claim her once she was his wife. She looked forward to that moment, though she felt a pang of regret that her innocence was not a gift she could give him.

Gabriel’s arms tightened and she was brought more fully against his chest. She mewled with pleasure against his lips as her long dormant senses awakened. She was on fire. It tingled in her fingertips, made her nipples harden, and brought a powerful ache to the place between her thighs. And the wanting had never been like this before.

So perhaps that was the gift. She came to Gabriel not with her innocence, but with her experience. With all the lessons she had learned over the years about fear. And with all the acceptance he had shown to her. That would make her savor their time together. It would make her less timid. It would allow her to feel all the pleasure with no regrets.

Never again.

With a gasp, Gabriel broke the kiss and gently set her away from him. Their eyes locked and she saw all the control he was reining in as he panted out heaving breaths.

“Dear God, woman, what you do to me,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. “You bring out every wicked thing in me.”

She cupped his cheek with a smile. “Only be wicked for me.”

His expression softened as he turned his lips into her palm. “I promise.” He leaned toward her second time, but pulled away at the last moment with a growl of displeasure. “No. As much as I’d like to show you how wicked I can be right here and now, that would do neither of us any good. I’d like to speak to your father. To tell him that you’ve agreed to my offer and make the arrangements.”

Felicity nodded as her heart leapt. This was really happening. And she looked forward to it with a hope she’d once thought Jonathon took along with his pleasure.

“Yes, I believe he was in the parlor. You speak to him first and I’ll join you in a few moments.”

Gabriel caught her hand and lifted it to his lips. “I’m glad, Felicity. So very glad that I was able to convince you.”

She smiled, heart swelling, as he turned away and headed for the house. After he had gone in, she turned to look out over the gardens below. Joy spread through her, making her limbs feel light as air. She could fly if she wanted to.

“There you are, Felicity! We wondered where you went!”

Felicity turned to see one of the debutantes she had been speaking to, Roberta Wington, come out onto the terrace. Thank heavens she and Gabriel hadn’t decided to be wicked after all. She smiled at the girl. Even debutante ridiculousness couldn’t spoil her mood.

“It’s a glorious afternoon. I was just having a breath of fresh air,” she explained.

The other girl giggled. “With the Duke of Windsworth.”

Felicity shrugged. There was no use denying it. Once matters were settled with her father, the announcement would be made. “Yes.”

“I hear he’s courting you,” Roberta pressed, looking down at Jane and Wesley’s gardens with a yawn.

“Yes.” There was little use denying that, either.

“It’s a fine match.” The other woman flicked a few pebbles from the stone wall that lined the terrace edge. “You will become a Duchess and he’ll receive your dowry. What was it? Fifty thousand pounds?”

Felicity pursed her lips at the vulgar subject. “I very much doubt the Duke needs my money, Roberta.”

Roberta spun on her with surprise lighting her wide eyes. “Of course he does! He’s poor!”

“What? Of course he isn’t!” Felicity snapped, irritation rising in her. How dare this little snip make such an implication?

“He certainly is! My mother had her eye on him for me when he first arrived in Society, but Father cut that notion off when he discovered Windsworth hardly has a farthing to his name. His father and his brother lost it all. My father said that could make any man, even a Duke, into a fortune hunter!”

Felicity stepped back, eyes wide, as she stared at the other girl. Gabriel had no money?

Roberta looked at her face and Felicity’s reaction must have shown clearly, for the other girl lifted a hand to her lips and covered her mouth. “Not that-not that he is that, of course. I’m sure he wants you for other reasons than just the dowry.”

Felicity continued to stare, though she didn’t really see the debutante any longer. All she could see was Gabriel’s face, floating before her. Smiling at her. Kissing her.

And all along he had been penniless. He had said he came to her to make amends, but her impressive dowry would surely line his lean pockets, as well. While he so generously took her on as wife, with her lack of virtue, he would be amply paid for his sacrifice with fifty-thousand pounds of her father’s money.

No. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

Except, he hadn’t revealed the truth about his financial position, had he? She’d heard nothing of the kind from his own lips, and her father made no mention. Which meant he’d kept it a secret. A lie by omission.

And he’d said he never lied.

What a fool she had been. To trust him. To grow close to him. And maybe… for just a moment… for allowing herself to love him and think they could have a happy future.

Chapter Six

Felicity clenched her hands into fists, the hot blood roaring through her veins as she continued to stare over the gardens. Her only consolation was that gossipy Roberta Wington had made a hasty exit after her horrible revelation about Gabriel’s financial position.

Of course, she was likely already inside, spreading the news of Felicity’s newest shame to everyone. And here she had sought to avoid that kind of gossip for so long.

She wanted to run. To bolt away from the party, climb into a carriage and just go, as far and as fast as she could. Change her name, change her life. Find a place to hide from the shame of her past and from the hurt that now blossomed in her chest like a poisonous flower.

She caught her breath just before it became a sob. No. No. No. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t run anymore. She wouldn’t hide from the past. If anything, she’d learned that wasn’t possible. She had let one Windsworth brother shame her into doing that, she wouldn’t let the second.

Of course, she could march straight to her father and tell him every horrible thing she could think of about Gabriel. Certainly her father would take care of the situation from there. She would never have to see Gabriel again, and he would quite possibly be just as ruined as she was by the time her friends and family were finished with him.

She stared at the flowers below with another shake of her head. No. That wasn’t right either. She was a grown woman; she couldn’t let her father take care of her problems forever. As it was, she’d hidden behind him long enough.

Aside from which, she didn’t want to ruin Gabriel. Oh, yes, some childish part of her liked the notion of hurting him like she was hurting, but that wasn’t the answer.

The answer was the thing she feared most. She had to go to Gabriel herself and confront him with what she now knew.

It was strange, but despite everything she felt she owed it to him.

And she definitely owed it to herself to hear the truth.

#

“Well, Your Grace, you are tenacious, I give you that,” Felicity’s father said with a wan smile as he poured Gabriel a drink.

“I think your daughter is a prize well-worth winning, my lord.” Gabriel took the whiskey Lord Stoneworth offered. He felt like a celebratory drink.

“She certainly is leading you on a merry chase. Most men give up by this point in her games.” The older man sighed and a flash of emotion flickered in his eyes. “I wonder if you will survive her tricks.”

Gabriel smiled, passed the nervousness that churned in his stomach. This was the perfect moment to reveal to Felicity’s father that the two had come to an arrangement. That she had finally given in to his desires and agreed to be his wife. It was the moment he’d been waiting for ever since he learned of the way his brother and father shamed her. He should have been jumping out of his skin to share the news.

But instead, he was weighing each and every word in his head. Trying to find the best way to approach the subject. Because it meant more to him than it had before. She meant more to him. And he didn’t just want to disregard the gravity of her acceptance like it was a simple business deal or unemotional partnership. He wanted whatever he said to her father to reflect the honesty of Gabriel’s regard for Felicity.

That and the depth of his newfound feelings… the ones he had been trying not to label until now. Perhaps the time had come to do so.

He opened his mouth to begin when the door to the parlor opened. His gaze darted to the intruder and he was surprised to find it was Felicity, herself. He’d thought she would take a few more moments before she joined them, to allow him some time with her father. But her quick interruption didn’t bode well. Nor did her stony face. She was not pleased and hardly spared him a glance.

“Father,” she said softly. “Lord Windsworth.”

“Hello, child,” her father said, motioning her in. He cast a side glance at Gabriel. “Lord Windsworth and I were just discussing you.”

“Oh, yes,” Felicity said quietly and her gaze held Gabriel’s with a hint of… accusation? Why did that emotion darken her gaze again? Hadn’t they moved passed all that? “I’m sure you were. May I beg a favor of you, Father?”

The older man stepped forward and caught his daughter’s hands. Kindness and love lined his face, along with a hint of regret. Gabriel knew why. Her father would probably go to his grave wishing he could have spared her the humiliation she suffered because of Gabriel’s family. He found himself hoping that he could form a bond with this man after his marriage. Perhaps through a friendship and mutual affection for Felicity, they could each help ease the pain of the other’s past.

“I wonder if you would fetch me a drink? I’m feeling a bit-” She threw another glance Gabriel’s way. “-a bit tired. I would like to sit for a moment.”

Her father tilted his head. “You are unwell? Should we leave?”

She shook her head. “No, mother is having too good a time to take her away. I’m certain after I rest, I will recover myself.”

“Of course. Lord Windsworth, will you stay with her?” Felicity’s father shot him a glance of concern.

Gabriel tilted his head. Despite Felicity’s statement, she didn’t look pale or tired. She looked… emotional. But he nodded. “Of course.”

Her father slipped from the room, leaving the door open a hair. But as soon as his form disappeared from view, Felicity stepped back and pushed the door shut. When she turned to face Gabriel, the emotions she’d been cloaking became clear.

She was angry. She was hurt. And she blamed him for both, though he had no idea what could change her feelings toward him in such a short span of time.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping toward her.

Felicity stiffened and he stopped instinctively.

“You believe something is wrong?” she whispered, folding her arms like a shield in front of her chest.

He nodded. “I know something is wrong.”

“How?” She tilted her head. “How do you know?”

He shrugged. All he wanted to do was touch her arm, comfort her, but her body language told him in no uncertain terms that she would not allow it.

“I can see it in the tightness around your eyes,” he began warily. “The way your mouth is turned down, not just in anger, but with pain. And your shoulders are set back, the way they are when you’re trying to act as if you’re strong, but are actually feeling weak.”

Those same shoulders suddenly slumped, as if his words had deflated her ability to pretend. Her eyes sparkled with sudden tears, which she turned away to hide from him.

“My goodness, Gabriel, you do know me well, don’t you?” she whispered.

That should have been a compliment, but it sounded like a curse. He nodded, taking the chance to edge toward her. “Yes, I do. I’ve watched you, I’ve listened to you. I want to know you, Felicity. A husband should know his wife.”

That made her shoulders roll even further forward in defeat. “And what of a wife? Should she not know her husband equally well?”

He wrinkled his brow. This felt like such a trap. “You know me. You know my motives, my past. My shames. And we will grow to learn even more about each other the longer we are together.”

She turned on him suddenly. “But what about the secrets you conceal, Gabriel? How will I ever come to know those things?”

His lips thinned into a line and he reached forward to catch her shoulders. She gasped at the contact and began to pull back, but he held her steady.

“Enough games. What is it you have to say?”

Blue eyes darkened to stormy seas as she snapped, “You dare talk to me about games when this entire ‘courtship’ was a game! And the prize at the end was not me. No, it was my fifty-thousand pound dowry. The one that will help pull you from the financial straits your brother and father caused for your family. When did you plan to tell me? Or did you intend to continue lying until you’d secured your position by making me your wife and claiming my body so I couldn’t leave?”

#

Felicity was surprised by how much confronting Gabriel hurt. Every word seemed to make the pain grow, and when he touched her it exploded, making her snap out hurtful words she wished she could take back. They revealed too much about her heart.

The one that loved the man before her.

And the fact that she suddenly realized she’d fallen in love with Gabriel made the situation so much worse.

His fingers tightened on her upper arms and he stared down at her with eyes flashing with… anger. He was angry? After he’d been caught in a lie, he dared to be upset that she was challenging him about the truth?

“I have endured everything you’ve put me through, Felicity. From the outright rudeness to the attempts to put me off to the denial of your feelings. I have endured those things because I understood their source, I understood your embarrassment and fear and anger. And also because I admired your strength and eventually, I came to care for you. But this is enough. I will not stand idly by and allow you to malign me about my intentions. Not after everything we have gone through.”

She blinked. She’d never seen Gabriel like this: his eyes alive with fire, his lips trembling with outrage, and beneath the anger, a hurt coming to the surface.

A hurt she had caused and foolishly longed to sooth. She fought that inclination.

“So you deny that you came to me with hopes of obtaining the dowry that my father has promised?” she asked, her voice cracking.

He shrugged. “I told you once that I do not lie and I meant that. Yes, when I first heard of the fact that my brother ruined you, I came to you with two intentions. One was to make right what he had done. But the fact that you had such a large dowry certainly did not deter me from my quest. My father wrecked my family’s name and our fortune with his vices. And it is as much my duty to repair that as it was to make you whole. A marriage is as good a way to do such a thing as anything else.”

She winced and pulled away from his arms, but he wouldn’t let her go. He held tight. If anything, he pulled her even closer, close enough that his heat curled around her and woke sinful desires in her own body.

“You may sometimes behave foolishly, especially when you are frightened,” he said and didn’t allow her to interrupt when she gasped in outrage. “But you are not stupid. Certainly you know your father raised the amount of your dowry in the hopes it would bring more men to you for you to choose from. Did you not receive offers before mine?”

She pressed her hands against his chest and gave a push. Finally, Gabriel looked down at his hands, gripping her arms. His face paled and he released her gently.

Felicity paced away, her body trembling from his touch while her mind screamed in pain at his words. Such confusing emotions collided and set her off balance entirely.

She smoothed her skirts, wishing she could so easily smooth away her emotions. Then she turned on him and prayed she looked cool and unaffected.

“Yes, I have received offers. Plenty of offers before yours.” She added the last to hurt him, but her sneer didn’t even seem to register.

He charged forward a step and Felicity’s body reacted against her will at the sight of this normally controlled man losing control in the face of her anger and refusal.

“And did you understand that your dowry was part of their suit? A reason for their offers?”

She folded her arms. “Of course.”

“Did you hate them for it?” he asked, voice now deceptively low.

“No,” she ground out.

“Then why do you hate me for starting out with the same reasoning, Felicity? Why do you shun me and judge me for the very same thing?”

She moved forward now, driven to her own brink and wanting to lash out. “Because I never wanted them to care!”

Her hand came up to cover her lips the second the words were spoken. Had she just admitted that?

Her eyes met his and she backed away step by step, retreating from the kindness, the gentleness, the surprise and joy that she saw in his stare.

When he spoke, his voice was calmer and more gentle. “I didn’t tell you about my financial position because I wasn’t proud of what my family was. And ultimately, to be honest with you, I forgot about your dowry. I forgot about the past. I forgot about making things ‘right’. I forgot about everything except for you.”

Felicity stared, as shocked by his admission that she had become such a part of his life as she had been by her own.

He reached for her, catching the hand she still held to her lips and drawing it toward his heart. When he pressed her fingers to his chest, she felt the steady, sure beat of his pulse.

“So take your blasted dowry, Felicity.” He smiled just a little. “Give it away for all I care. Donate it to that Widows and Orphans Society that is all the rage. Or spend it all on slippers and ridiculously expensive hat pins. Whatever pleases you. I’ll happily remake my own fortune.” His smile fell and his dark eyes grew serious. “But whatever you do with it, don’t use the money against me. Don’t make it an excuse. If you don’t love me, if you cannot ever come to love me, than simply state it now and I will cease all my pursuits.”

Felicity blinked up at him. “Do you-do you want my love?”

He seemed surprised that she would ask such a thing. His eyes went wide and the steady beat of his heart suddenly doubled. “I do. But I am not selfish. I ask for nothing I do not freely offer myself.” He pressed her hand more firmly against his chest. “My heart, Felicity. My soul. My life. My future. Do you want those things? For all the joy and heartbreak they may bring? You must be certain of me and of yourself. Because as much as I adore you, I cannot spend the rest of my life with you constantly questioning and accusing me.”

Felicity blinked. His words brought shame rushing toward her. She had been so unfair to this man from the very beginning. She had judged him. She had railed against him. She had denied him. And she had always kept some little part of herself from fully trusting him.

And yet, through it all, he had been nothing but kind to her.

As she stared up into his eyes, she knew what she would say. And she knew she would spend the rest of her life making all those things up to him. She’d spend the rest of her life loving him.

A tear she had been trying to keep him at bay now fell freely. She did nothing to swipe it away.

“You offer me your love. Your everything?”

He nodded.

She smiled and for the first time in years the expression went from her lips all the way through her soul.

“I love you, Gabriel. I did not want to, but it happened. And if you offer me your heart, then I take that precious gift. And I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my days endeavoring to deserve it. And to deserve you.”

“Felicity, Felicity,” Gabriel whispered as his mouth moved toward hers. “You deserve already every happy ending I will give you and more.”

A Woman Scorned

Chapter One

1823

In the sparkling social sphere of the ton, some girls had been born to play piano for everyone else’s pleasure. To stand to the side of the dance floor and watch while others spun around, laughing flirtatiously. To observe the faces of gentlemen fall, ever so slightly, when they were assigned as their escorts into a dinner or garden.

Despite being the daughter of a Duke, Lady Madeline Reynolds had always been one of those girls.

She was aware of it. In fact, she had become quite resigned to it during the seven long years since her coming out. She hadn’t really minded being a wallflower. She had a few close friends and pursuits that had nothing to do with the opposite sex. And her parents adored her. There would be no union thrust upon her, though she couldn’t pretend to be unaware that her entire family worried she would end a lonely maiden aunt, being traded back and forth between her two brothers and their future families.

Still, she had accepted that a great passion or a sweeping romance or even a little flutter of connection was out of her reach.

Or at least she had until she had a brief glimpse of what a life of something more would have been like.

When David Langston had swept her into a whirlwind courtship just two years before, she had thought, for just a fleeting moment, that she had met her match, her mate. And when he offered for her hand, she was beside herself with happiness. Enough so that she had been able to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach that something was amiss with David.

If she hadn’t ignored that sinking sensation, she might have been more prepared when her father broke the engagement after discovering David was asking another girl, Jane Davenport, to be his mistress. And the final insult was that David was going to pay to keep his potential lover with Madeline’s dowry.

“You deserve more, duck,” her father had said, as gently and patiently and kindly as he always spoke to her. “I had to break the engagement on your behalf.”

And, of course, being a sensible girl, Maddie agreed. But nothing had been the same for her since. The scandal had been overwhelming and she had gone into seclusion for the remainder of that Season. The next had been nearly as bad. People whispered and clucked their tongues in sympathy behind her back. Whatever small pleasure Madeline had taken in the balls and parties and teas, and it was very small pleasure indeed, was gone. Lost forever, along with that piece of her heart that had secretly hoped for the happily ever after of her favorite fairy tales.

Ever since the best families retreated to their winter estates a few months before, Maddie had been dreading the next Season. She had found herself dreaming of those endless parties, but always she looked down to be naked or dressed in a clown’s vestments or something equally hideous, while the leering crowd blathered on.

But then, the light at the end of the tunnel had appeared in a very unexpected way. She had received a letter from her favorite aunt, Countess Serena Heatherton. Serena was breeding and after a difficult pregnancy had been ordered to bed by her doctor. Her aunt had asked Maddie to spend a few months at her side, forgoing the Season entirely.

And that was how Lady Madeline Reynolds came to be sitting not in the midst of a crowded, hot parlor while young women cast mournful glances her way or gossiped behind her back, but in the middle of a field of waving green grass, a book in her hand and a smile on her face for the first time in what felt like an age.

It was an engrossing tale, one her brothers called ‘one of her silly gothic romances’, with a dark and mysterious hero and a heroine who always seemed to be on the very brink of utter disaster.

“Silly girl,” Maddie murmured out loud to the wayward heroine. “Why do you always go downstairs in the middle of the night with no candle?”

She rolled her eyes ever so slightly. As much as the tales were riveting, she would never behave so shamelessly or so recklessly. No, she was quiet, dependable Madeline Reynolds.

With a start, she wondered if that was what would be engraved on her tombstone one day.

Quiet, dependable Madeline Reynolds. Maiden Aunt.

A sigh escaped her lips as she returned her full attention to her book. There was no use becoming maudlin over something that would never, could never change. She was what she was and life was what it was and she had learned to live with it. After all, there was a place in the world for sensible maiden aunts. She was just never going to be the kind of girl the heroine of her book was, or the sparkling diamonds of the first water of each Season were. She was never going to have an adventure or a great romance or…

“Great God, woman, look out!”

Maddie looked up just in time to see the huge black horse looming above her, its nostrils flaring and its eyes wide as its rider pull up hard on the reins to keep the beast from tramping Madeline.

With a scream, she released her book, vaguely aware of it flying through the air in one direction as she rolled the opposite way to avoid the horse’s strong, powerful hooves. Her scream only seemed to incite the animal further, for he twisted and turned, struggling against the guiding hand of his rider. Maddie watched in horror as the man above her lost his seat and went tumbling to the ground below while his horse galloped off toward the next hill.

Maddie scrambled to her knees and crawled across the few feet that separated her from the rider. He lay on his back, his eyes shut in unnatural slumber.

“Sir?” she asked, pressing her hand to a very strong shoulder and giving him a little shake. There was no response and Maddie swallowed hard as she leaned closer to see if the gentleman was still breathing.

“Sir?” she repeated, a bit closer to his ear as she shook him harder. Again there was no response. “Dear God, he’s dead.”

“I’m not dead,” the man who was now just inches from her face groaned, his warm breath stirring her hair. “But by God, every time you shake me it jars my aching head and I wish I were.”

Madeline released him with a start and leaned back as the man opened his eyes. Despite the situation, despite the fact that she should have been more concerned for the stranger’s welfare than anything else, she couldn’t help but catch her breath. The man’s eyes were the brightest, most beautiful blue she had ever seen. And they were situated on an equally handsome face. His skin was tan, darker than most of the men in her acquaintance and he had full lips. Ones she couldn’t quite stop looking at.

“So, little miss,” he asked as he ran a hand through his thick, black hair. He frowned as little pieces of grass fell away. “Do you mind telling me if you were trying to kill me, or was that only a happy accident?”

#

Nathan Blackstone’s head pounded and his backside was getting wet from the damp grass, adding insult to injury. Thank God he had already been to his appointment and was on his way home. He had learned long ago that when dealing with one’s betters, one always had to look his best. Otherwise, they would perceive the faults as weakness. And Nathan had never liked being weak.

He glanced over at the young woman who had caused this entire mess. Thank God he had seen her sitting the middle of the road, for the love of everything holy. He could have easily trampled her. Now that his heart was beginning to return to a somewhat normal rate and his head was only throbbing to a dull rhythm, he sat up slowly. Christ, that hurt. He rubbed the back of his neck.

She wasn’t anyone he knew. Not from around here, he guessed. Judging from her plain gown and the severe way her brown hair was styled, he had to assume she was a governess or perhaps a lady’s companion.

Whoever and whatever she was, she was staring at him, mouth open just the slightest bit and eyes wide with a combination of surprise and a little, tiny flash of annoyance. Though how she deserved to be annoyed, he couldn’t guess.

“Well?” he asked. “Was it attempted murder or just silliness?”

“I beg your pardon?” she snapped, scooting back from him.

He realized that the tantalizing scent of flowers had come from her skin, not the field around them.

“It was you who nearly trampled me, sir!” the young lady said, pushing to her feet. “I was sitting here when you came riding up like a demon from hell on that horrible black horse and destroyed my quiet reading.” Her face fell. “Oh, my book!”

She spun around and dropped back to her knees, searching through the high grass. With her back turned, Nathan couldn’t help but stare at the rounded curve of her backside that was offered up to him when she crawled around in her search.

Clearing his throat to push past a sudden fullness, he slowly got to his own feet. “She nearly kills me and she’s worried about her book.”

The young woman’s spine stiffened as she returned her attention to him. “Will you stop saying that! I didn’t nearly kill you, you nearly killed me.”

“How do you figure that? You were sitting in the middle of the road!” he snapped, quickly losing patience despite the fact that he couldn’t stop staring as his unwanted companion’s cheeks filled with hot blood, darkening them to a fetching pink.

She stopped blustering and tilted her head to the side. “The road? This is a field.”

Nathan shut his eyes and slowly counted to ten. Well, she clearly wasn’t from around here. “Miss, if you will look behind you, you will see that the grass is slightly trampled. Perhaps less than it usually is due to the recent rains. That trampling is due to the traffic that comes through this field. We locals call it the Dawson Field Road, named as such because the field has been tended by the Dawson family for five generations. And because it is…” he hesitated and quirked a brow. “A road.”

His companion sucked in a harsh breath as she looked down the hill over the stretch of field and the very clear demarcation where other travelers had gone before him. Her face was even pinker now and her eyes, which were a startlingly dark brown, were so wide that he feared she would strain herself by holding them in that position.

“Miss?” he said softly, moving toward her one step.

She dipped her head. “My apologies, sir,” she said as she turned toward him. “I had no idea, I feel so wretched. Are you hurt at all? Is there anything I can do to alleviate the pain?”

Nathan stared down into her uplifted face. She wasn’t the kind of girl one would describe as pretty. Her face consisted of strange angles and curves. But her eyes were exceptional and her mouth was quite fetching. He wouldn’t have thought it out of line to call her handsome.

And she was offering to help ‘alleviate’ his pain, which conjured up several rather naughty images he normally kept in check, especially around women whose names he didn’t even know.

Something he intended to change immediately.

“I am fine. And I am Nathan Blackstone,” he held out a hand. “I work for Viscount Marcus Fulton as his estate manager. You must be new to the area, what house do you work at?”

The young woman blinked, staring at his outstretched hand as if she wasn’t certain what to do with his offering. Her exotic dark eyes snagged his.

“What house do I work for?” she repeated.

Nathan wrinkled his brow. She looked confused by the relatively simply question. Was she, perhaps, a bit daft? What a shame that would be, for her eyes told of intelligence and wit bubbling beneath that starched surface.

“Yes, I assume you must work at one of the houses in the shire. You sound quite cultured, so I would wager you are a governess or lady’s companion. Am I correct?” he pressed. The answer to that question would certainly answer his unspoken one about her mental state.

She stared at him for a long moment and Nathan had the impression she was weighing her options of how to answer. But finally she nodded. “I-I am a companion to Countess Serena Heatherton.”

He hesitated, waiting for her to continue, but she remained silent, merely staring at him with that same wary expression that was a combination of confusion and anxiety.

“And, er, your name is?” he prodded.

“Oh,” she gasped. “I apologize. It is L-Maddie.”

“Maddie.” Nathan smiled. “Well, now we’ve been properly introduced and I insist on walking you back to the Heatherton estate gate, once we have collected Quint.”

“Quint?”

“The ‘horrible black horse’ I was riding,” he explained. “I believe he only trotted over the hill there. He never roams too far.”

Maddie took a step back and her face had gone deathly pale. “I-I’m not sure.”

“He’s harmless, I promise you,” Nathan said, carefully taking her arm. She stared at his hand like it was from an alien species, but didn’t hesitate as he led her forward. “Like the two of us, he simply made a poor first impression.”

“I’m a bit frightened of horses,” Maddie admitted, her face darkening once again.

Nathan nodded. “Many are. They’re such big beasts. But I cannot leave him here along the road and I cannot allow you walk home alone after I nearly ran you down-”

“Due to my own stupidity,” she interjected.

Nathan cast a side glance at his companion. She looked utterly forlorn, judging herself for a mistake that had led to no permanent harm.

“Just lack of knowledge,” he corrected. “It isn’t exactly the same thing. Ah, there he is.”

Maddie stopped as he moved forward and caught Quint’s dangling reins. The animal whinnied a hello and trotted behind Nathan as he returned to Maddie’s side. She was still pale and trembling ever so slightly, but she held her ground as Nathan and Quint came to a stop.

“Quint, let me introduce Maddie,” Nathan said with a smile. “Maddie, Quint.”

She nodded slowly, but made no move to touch or greet the horse, so Nathan maneuvered until he was between her and the animal.

The walk to the Heatherton estate gate didn’t take more than a quarter of an hour, but the time passed quickly. Maddie was a quiet girl and Nathan found himself enjoying the comfortable silence that hung between them. It was a pleasant experience compared to the young ladies who swarmed around his employer. Women of the ton, who seemed to be able to talk endlessly about a hat or a glove.

They stopped at the Heatherton gate and Nathan released Maddie’s arm with a slight, playful bow. “Home again.”

She nodded. “I do apologize once more for what happened. I hope you will see someone just to be certain you are not injured.”

Nathan smiled. “Well, I managed to walk a mile back to this spot, so I assume that means I’m not permanently maimed.”

She shook her head. “Please don’t jest. I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t know you weren’t hurt, even in the slightest.”

Nathan stared at the young woman. He was always so consumed with his running of Fulton’s affairs and the maintenance of his own reputation that he rarely made time for any kind of diversion. But when he looked at this young lady, with her beautiful, yet serious eyes, he could only imagine picnics by the pond and walks in the twilight.

And he had a realization of just how much he’d been missing, dedicating himself only to a career. He was over thirty now, well into the years when a man should start a family. Fulton had even mentioned it once or twice.

“What say we strike a bargain?” Nathan asked, stepping a bit closer. “I will be certain a doctor checks me for any hidden anomalies if you promise to meet me tomorrow and walk with me.”

Maddie’s lips parted slightly. “You wish to walk with me tomorrow?”

He nodded, surprised by the incredulous tone to her voice. “I do. Will you meet with me?”

She looked toward the estate house in the distance. “But Se-er- Lady Heatherton…”

He cut her off. “You were out today. Surely she could not begrudge you an hour’s time.”

She shook her head. “Oh no, she certainly wouldn’t. I didn’t mean to imply-”

“You implied nothing. So it is settled. What time shall I call on you?”

Maddie took a deep breath, then said, “Lady Heatherton generally takes a nap after her tea at two. Shall we meet here at the gate?”

Now it was Nathan who was taken aback. He had assumed she would prefer if he came to the house to collect her. “Very well. I shall see you here tomorrow at two. Shall we shake hands on the bargain?”

With a solemn nod, Maddie held out her hand and they shook on it. As they broke apart, she smiled. Nathan caught his breath. The expression lit up her face, brightening everything about her until she almost glowed. Just that smile turned her from a handsome woman to a pretty one.

But then the smile was gone as she slipped through the gate. “Goodbye, I shall see you tomorrow!”

Nathan watched her figure shrink toward the house. “I look forward to it.”

Chapter Two

“Madeline, is that you?”

Maddie froze, her hand hovering above the door knob to her chamber as her aunt’s gentle voice drifted down the hallway toward her. She looked down at herself, disheveled and grass stained. Plus, her cheeks still felt hot both from the exertion of her fear and the lies she had told… and the fact that a very handsome man had paid special attention to her and it had nothing in the world to do with her dowry.

“Maddie?” her aunt repeated.

Startled from her reverie, she moved toward her aunt’s chamber. “Yes, Aunt Serena, I’m here.”

She pushed the door open and entered. After the bright afternoon sunshine, it took her eyes a moment to adjust but once they had, Madeline could see her aunt propped up on a stack of fluffy pillows. Serena’s dark hair was spread about her shoulders, framing her pretty, if slightly pale face. Her belly, swollen with the child who would be making his or her appearance some time in the next month, made the covers lift around her.

Maddie moved toward Serena with a smile. They had always been close. Her father’s sister was nearly the same age as she. Maddie considered her a friend as well as a relation.

“Did you rest well, Aunt?” she asked as she perched on the edge of Serena’s mattress. “Are you having any pain or discomfort?”

Her aunt’s hand moved slowly to cover the high arch of her stomach, hidden beneath the blankets. “We are very well, thank you. My son is practicing his dance steps even as we speak.”

Madeline laughed, though her aunt’s calm reference to her impending motherhood did cause a faint, shameful sting in her heart. One she had been experiencing ever since her arrival. Maddie would likely never have a child of her own. Her nieces and nephews and cousins would be her only chance at doting on a baby.

“You do not know if that babe is a boy,” Maddie said through a suddenly false smile.

Serena nodded. “No girl would give me such trouble, I am certain. No, he will be his papa’s boy and the two of them will run ragged over me until I have a few girls to outnumber them.”

Her aunt smiled before she tilted her head slightly. “Madeline is that grass in your hair?”

Feeling the color leave her cheeks, Maddie reached up to touch a few sprigs of bright green vegetation, remnants of her afternoon. “I, er, had a little incident.”

Her aunt touched her hand. “Nothing serious, I hope. You know, I forgot to mention to you about Dawson Field-”

“Road?” Madeline interrupted with a chuckle as she thought of Nathan’s words. “Yes, I’ve been informed of its duty and history.”

Serena looked at her strangely, but then shook her head. “The servants would tell you, of course.”

Madeline clamped her lips shut. Normally she would have confided in her aunt about her strange encounter with Nathan Blackstone, but for some reason she didn’t. Those few moments when they had verbally sparred and then he walked her home seemed almost dream-like to her now. If she spoke of them, she feared she would destroy their mystique.

Not to mention the fact that she had lied outright to the man. Or at least allowed him to believe that she was something and someone that she most definitely was not. If she confessed such a thing to her aunt, confessed her attraction to a man of no rank, Serena would likely be horrified. Madeline might be sent home and Nathan could very well lose his position.

So it was best to keep her secrets. In truth, it had been so long since Maddie had a secret that it gave her a thrill when she thought of it.

“Are you certain you are quite well?” Serena asked, pushing herself higher on her pillows as she held Maddie’s eyes with concern. “You seem very… quiet, even for you. Did something happen today?”

Maddie got to her feet and gently plumped the pillows at the base of her aunt’s back. “No, no. I am very well, I assure you.”

“Good.” Her aunt leaned forward as Maddie began to rub her back and let out a shuddering sigh of pleasure. “Thank you, that is lovely.” There was a long moment of silence before Serena spoke again. “Madeline, I’ve been meaning to talk to you since you arrived last week. I realize after your engagement was broken, you had a very difficult time in London.”

Maddie’s smooth strokes over her aunt’s tight muscles faltered for a moment as humiliation rushed through her.

“Y-Yes.”

Serena cast a quick glance in her direction. “I know everyone in our family would do anything to spare you from pain.”

“Like invite me here to keep me from another wretched Season, you mean,” Maddie said softly.

Her aunt dipped her head, giving Madeline the answer she had already known, although it had never been spoken out loud.

She sighed. Protected, once again. “I know that is part of why you had me come here, Serena. And I do appreciate it.”

Serena bent her head as Maddie moved her touch up the column of her aunt’s spine. “But I hope you won’t take my invitation as a reason to shut yourself off from the world forever.”

“Oh, Serena,” Maddie mused. “I believe the world has cut itself away from me quite well.”

She knew she sounded bitter, but it was hard to keep up the façade of quiet acceptance.

Her aunt frowned. “Madeline, you cannot give up on happiness. Or convince yourself that your future path is set in stone. There are a thousand different futures waiting for you, if only you are open to them. And many of them could still involve a happy marriage, children, even love.”

Maddie stepped away from Serena and paced to the window. This was the same speech her friends gave her. The same one her mother had whispered to her over and over. But Madeline had long ago given up on those foolish fairy tales.

Still, earlier in the day she had given up on adventure. And then Nathan Blackstone had appeared from nowhere, like a hero in one of her gothic novels, and for a brief time she had forgotten everything else and lived entirely in the moment with him.

He had been a future she hadn’t expected. Certainly his assumptions about her position had been entirely unexpected. So she had lied. Or at least strategically withheld the truth. A fact that sat heavy in her chest now.

“Aunt Serena,” she said without turning from the window. “Do you think a lie of omission is just as bad as an outright untruth?”

Serena shifted on her pillows. “I don’t know. I suppose it depends on the kind of lie. Sometimes people lie to protect others.”

Maddie picked at a loose string on her grass-stained gown. Her lie was only to protect herself.

Her aunt continued, “Who lied to you?”

Turning, Madeline looked at her. “Why do you assume someone has lied to me?”

Serena shrugged. “You’re such a steady girl, Maddie. I cannot imagine you having to lie to anyone.”

Madeline swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. A ‘steady’ girl. Wasn’t that just a polite way to say boring? Dull?

“I am beginning to be hungry,” Serena said, completely oblivious to the complicated emotions her niece was battling.

“Of course. I will go down and make arrangements for your tea.” Maddie smiled. “Do you have any special requests today?”

After her aunt had rattled off at least half a dozen strange cravings, Madeline backed from the room. In the hallway, she leaned against the door with a heavy sigh.

Whether or not she enjoyed the implications of the word ‘steady’, she knew that description did fit her. She had been so surprised by Nathan’s assumption that she was a servant in one of the nearby estates that she hadn’t corrected him. That was understandable. But if she continued to allow him to believe that falsehood, she would be crossing a line.

So she would tell him. And he would be horrified and call her ‘my lady’ and she would likely never see him again.

It was just the way things were.

#

Madeline meandered through the sprawling gardens of her aunt and uncle’s estate, slowly but surely making her way to the back gate where she was to meet Nathan Blackstone in just a few short moments. She was careful to appear purposeless and relaxed, just in case a servant should see her. The last thing she wanted was for someone to pry and for her secret to be revealed.

Finally, she moved away from the maze of rose bushes and lilacs and into the trimmed grass. Down the sloping hill she went until she saw the gate in the distance. Her heart leapt. Nathan already stood there, leaning against the wooden barrier with a lazy elegance that spoke of strength and assuredness.

He wore crisp white shirtsleeves covered in a plain, but well-made vest. She couldn’t help but notice that his trousers were fitted perfectly as he leaned against the fence ever so slightly. With a blush, she darted her gaze away from his posterior and looked at his face instead.

His black hair was slightly tousled, probably from the breeze that was stirring through the trees from time to time. His skin was tanned and the closer she got, the more clear his startling bright blue eyes became.

Great God, he was handsome. More so than she had remembered in the day since they met so unexpectedly, which was quite shocking since she remembered him as the most attractive man she had ever been an acquaintance of.

Yet somehow, he wished to walk with her. For no reason that she could fathom.

“There you are,” he called, straightening up as she drew his attention.

She forced a smile. It was so very unfortunate that she was going to have to tell him the truth. She knew what the consequences of that action would be and she didn’t relish the change in his expression or the end to his friendly tone.

“Good afternoon,” she forced herself to say with as much brightness as she could muster. “I hope I wasn’t late.”

“No, spot on time actually.” He reached around and unlatched the gate, opening it wide so she could pass through to the road where he stood.

She watched him from the corner of her eye as he shut the gate behind her. Would it really hurt if she walked with him for a little while rather than just blurt out her true identity? It seemed so awkward to say, “Hello, I lied to you yesterday. I’m really a Duke’s daughter. I suppose you’ll want to run screaming the other way now.”

Perhaps she could find a better way to insert the truth into conversation if they spent a little time together.

And… of course, it would also allow her to enjoy Nathan’s unexpected companionship, at least for a short while.

“I wondered if you’d had a chance to see White River Pond yet?” he asked as he motioned the correct direction down the quiet country road.

Madeline shook her head. “No. Am I to assume it is maintained by the Whites, it is fed from a river and it is a pond?”

Beside her, Nathan let out a loud chuckle. “I deserved that. Let me apologize for my manners yesterday.”

Maddie stopped in her tracks and turned to him with a shake of her head. “Oh no, I was only teasing you. Great heavens, I nearly killed you. You deserved much more of an outburst than you ultimately gave.”

He looked at her for a long moment, then reached forward to take her hand. Maddie’s breath caught as his dark, gloveless fingers covered hers. It was getting surprisingly hard to breathe and her ears were beginning to ring ever so slightly.

“If we are to be friends, let us forgive each other our silly meeting, shall we? You are sorry for nearly killing me. I am sorry for being so rude as to point that fact out. There will be no further apologies from either party. Do you agree?”

Maddie opened her mouth, but only a small, humiliating squeak would escape her constricted throat. She clamped her lips back together and nodded.

“I-It seems a fair bargain,” she finally breathed.

Nathan’s smile fell a fraction and he suddenly released her hand. “Very good.”

They continued walking in silence for a solid ten minutes. Maddie couldn’t help but shoot side glances his way. Was he bored with her silence? Was he sorry he had asked her to spend the afternoon in his company? She had never been the kind of girl who could prattle on with exquisite wit about silly subjects. She knew that had cost her the attention of at least a few men.

She cleared her throat. “So tell me, Mr. Blackstone, what is it that an estate manager does?”

There, now he would talk about himself. It would fill the silence and she would learn more about him.

Nathan shrugged. “I maintain Viscount Fulton’s estate finances, take care of issues with the staff, meet with his tenants on a regular basis, that sort of thing.”

Madeline nodded. She hadn’t ever had much contact with any of her father’s estate managers. They were all old, wizened men. Not anything like Nathan.

“Do you like the position?” she asked.

His mouth turned down ever so slightly. “I owe a great deal to Fulton. And I think I am good at what I do.”

Maddie smiled. “That isn’t exactly an answer.”

“No.” Nathan chuckled again and warmth spread through Maddie’s body. Twice she had made him laugh. That had to be a record for her with a gentleman. “I suppose it isn’t much of an answer. There are things about my work which I do not like.”

“Such as?”

She leaned in a little closer. She had never had such an open conversation with a gentleman who wasn’t a relation before. Even David had filled their time alone with meaningless chatter and empty compliments that she hadn’t believed even then. Nothing deeper.

Nathan sighed. “It isn’t always pleasant dealing with those who are ranked as my betters.” He shot her a glance. “You must know what I mean, with the work you do. My employer has a plethora of houseguests at present, including a great gaggle of debutantes. The silliness of those women…”

Madeline swallowed hard. Oh dear. When she told him the truth, he was most definitely going to react poorly.

“They cannot be all bad,” she managed to choke out.

He waved a hand. “Of course not. Some of them are tolerable, but it seems the higher their rank, the more frivolous and ridiculous they are. Do you know that one of them spent two hours last night discussing hat pins. Hat pins.”

Maddie bit her lip. She would bet five pounds that one of Viscount Fulton’s houseguests was Lady Yasmine Lincoln. Her passion for hat pins was well-documented. She was also a wretchedly nasty girl when no one was watching. Maddie shuddered.

“It does seem a bit excessive,” she admitted.

Nathan shook his head. “I cannot imagine leading so decadent a life that such a topic could occupy a moment of thought, let alone such deep and in-depth discussion. And she is not the worst of her lot.”

The sudden sting of tears scratching at Maddie’s eyes surprised her. She blinked furiously. For heaven’s sake, telling the man what she ought to have said the day before was not worth becoming a ninny over. And she deserved whatever reaction he had in spades.

“Mr. Blackstone,” she began, her hands shaking.

“There is the pond,” he said, apparently not hearing her whispered words.

She looked up and drew in a harsh breath. There in the distance was a shimmering body of water. All around its edge were blossoming flowers and the surface of the pond was crowded with lilies.

“My,” she breathed, momentarily forgetting her need to confess. “It is so lovely.”

He nodded. “It is my favorite place in all the shire.”

They moved forward together until they came to the pond’s edge. A cool breeze wafted from the water’s face and calmed Madeline’s ragged nerves. A sense of peace overtook her and she let out a long, contented sigh.

This stolen piece of time was perfect. And it didn’t matter that in a moment or two more, it would all be destroyed.

“I almost forgot,” Nathan said, reaching into the front pocket of his waistcoat. He drew out a small book and held it out to her.

“My novel!” Maddie cried, taking the little tome from him. “I was so distracted, I never did find it yesterday and gave it up for lost. Wherever did you get it?”

Nathan shrugged one shoulder. “After I left you, I recalled that you never found the book, so I went back and searched for it. It had flown quite far in your fright. I’m afraid it was a little damp, but it dried out well last night. No harm done, was there?”

Maddie stared at the pages of her story. It was a silly book, nothing that was that important to her, but this man had still gone back to where they had met and went to all the trouble of not only finding it, but insuring that it was returned to her in the best condition possible.

She lifted her gaze to his and stared into the impossibly blue depths of his eyes. “It is perfect, thank you, Nathan.”

For a long moment, a silence surrounded them. But even Maddie realized it was a different kind of silence than the one that they had shared before. This one had no comfort to it, nor awkwardness. No, it was charged by something else entirely. Something warm and focused. The kind of thing authors sometimes wrote about in the books she devoured. That nameless feeling struck Maddie dumb even as Nathan took a long step toward her.

Even as he gently tilted her chin up.

Even as he brought his lips down and pressed them to hers.

Chapter Three

Nathan had no idea why he kissed Maddie. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He had some idea. When she looked up at him, when she whispered his given name, when she stared at him like he was the most heroic man she had ever met in her life… those things had been utterly bewitching. And when she’d darted out her tongue to wet her lips, probably without even recognizing she’d done it, he had been lost.

But he wasn’t the kind of man who made a habit out of taking women he’d only met a day before into his arms and kissing them in the middle of the woods. Propriety and honor had always been his mantel, giving no hint of scandal that would make him beg to any man.

Maddie… she made him forget those things. In fact, the kiss, which he hadn’t planned, had slowly begun to change. In the beginning, it had been a gentle, innocent meeting of lips. Warm and soft, but lacking passion.

Still, the longer he stood here, his hand cupping her chin, her mouth pliant beneath his, honor and propriety faded away, replaced by more. By want. By need. By desires long suppressed.

So when Maddie parted her lips beneath his on a ragged sigh, he took the unwitting offering and glided his tongue into the hot cavern of her mouth. She stiffened out of surprise for a moment and he waited for her to pull away. Instead, her hands came up to clench his jacket, her body molded to his and she shuddered.

It was too much for any man to take. And so Nathan surrendered to the taste of her, sweet like honey with a background freshness of mint. To the rose and lilac scent of her skin. To the feel of her tongue touching his ever so gently.

He found himself winding his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, reveling in the way her body curled into his like they were meant to go together. Damn, it had been a long time since he indulged his baser appetites and he had almost forgotten how good a woman could feel when she surrendered. Soft, the polar opposite to the rapidly hardening planes of his own body.

He had to stop this. His rational mind screamed at him to remember who he was, what she was, where they were, but it was so difficult when Maddie made a little, low moan of pleasure and her head tilted to grant him better access. Still, he was the gentleman in this situation and he had to…

Before he could finish that thought or stop kissing Maddie, there was an eruption of sound as a huge flock of birds that had been nesting in the tree beside them exploded into the air. The massive flapping of wings and cries of the creatures shocked them both. Maddie released him, staggering away with a gasp.

She stood stock still, staring at him. Her face was flushed, her lips dark pink and swollen from his attentions and her exotic eyes glittered with what he knew was desire and innocent shock. A combination that had him clenching his fists in order to keep from taking her back into his arms.

“That was… unexpected,” she said softly, more to herself than to him. She blinked, staring at him like she was just seeing him for the first time.

He couldn’t help but agree with her unspoken expression. He definitely felt like he was dealing with a stranger. One with repressed desire under that quiet exterior. With a fire that he was awed he had unleashed.

“Does that mean you are sorry?” he croaked, tilting his head to meet her stare evenly. In truth, he knew not what he wished her answer to be. So all he could do was wait.

#

Maddie turned away from Nathan’s focused stare. The one that confused her and made her want to do wanton, improper things. Like kiss him again. Like do more than kiss him. She couldn’t think when he was looking at her like she was a sweet treat.

No one had ever looked at her like that before.

Or kissed her like that before.

Or talked to her like that before.

And she liked it. No, she more than liked it. She loved it. This man knew so little about her, had no ulterior motive or money or position to drive him to her. And yet he wanted her. He seemed to like her.

What was even better was that he had no preconceived notions of who she was. He didn’t think of her as a wallflower or a thrown over fiancée or boring girl who lived more in books than in the real world. With him, she was a blank slate. She could be the kind of woman who had adventures. Or spoke with ease about any subject.

She could be the kind of woman who let devastatingly handsome gentlemen kiss her until she could no longer breathe.

She could be anything. At least for a little while.

Turning back, she looked at him again. His hair was mussed and his lips were deliciously full from the kiss they had shared. Wouldn’t it be nice to be the kind of girl she’d always read about? To throw caution to the wind with this man, if only for a while?

It was wrong, of course. Wrong to not tell him her true identity. Wrong to keep him under false impressions. But she wouldn’t do it forever. Just for a little while longer.

“Maddie?” he asked softly, stepping toward her. “Do you regret the kiss?”

She smiled even though heat flooded her cheeks. For the first time in her life, she felt bold. “No, Nathan. I don’t regret it. It was… lovely.”

“Indeed it was,” he said, his voice husky as he lifted his fingers to brush a stray curl away from her cheek.

She shivered as his ungloved fingertips grazed her skin and stifled a groan when he pulled his hand away and took a long step back.

“Maddie-” he began.

She frowned. She could tell from the look on his face that he was going to say something dismissive and gentlemanly and probably end their time together. That was the last thing she wanted.

“Come, let us walk,” she said, stepping past him to pace toward the lake. She heard him sigh softly behind her, but then he caught up with her in three long strides and they moved together to the edge of the water.

Madeline breathed in the soft scent of green leaves and perfumed flowers. She shut her eyes and let her senses be overwhelmed by the moment. By what she had shared with Nathan. By the possibility of being everything she had ever wanted to be.

“You look utterly content,” he said softly.

With a blush, Maddie shot him a side glance. He was staring at her with a strange expression and her heart leapt. It wouldn’t do for him to think she was daft.

She shrugged. “I so rarely get to enjoy such a scene,” she explained.

He accepted those words with a quiet nod, then returned his attention to the water. She watched him for a moment, taking in how his bright eyes tracked the movement of a fox on the opposite shore. The way his strong hands flexed at his sides.

“Do you think anyone is ever perfectly content?” she asked, wishing she could take the words back the instant she said them.

He turned on her slowly. “I suppose it is what we all strive for, but I think it must be difficult to achieve.”

With a nod, Maddie frowned. “I have so much about myself that I would like to change.”

He drew back in surprise. “Do you? Such as?”

Again heat filled her cheeks, but this time it was pleasure that caused it. The utter shock in his voice, as if he could not imagine her wanting to change anything about herself, was good for her opinion of herself, if nothing else.

“My fear of horses is one silly thing,” she admitted, thinking of how terrified she had been of Quint the day before. And Nathan had been so kind. “You-you said yesterday that your horse is very gentle, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“I wonder… would you… do you think you might teach me to ride him?” Maddie nearly choked on the bold words. Good heavens, she was as brazen as the heroines in her books!

And yet Nathan didn’t seem horrified by her forward words. One brow arched slowly, but then he nodded. “If you would like me to, I would be pleased to do so.”

“Then may we meet tomorrow at the same time?” she asked. “I shall bring a picnic luncheon as a reward for your troubles.”

He leaned closer. “I would have done it for free, you know. But I never turn down food.”

She laughed, but her bravado was beginning to fade. It was best to quit while she was still ahead. So, with regret, she glanced toward the path behind them. “I should return to the estate.”

He nodded and held out an arm. “Very well. I have a few things to attend to if I am to meet with you again tomorrow.”

Maddie bit her lip. Normally she would have apologized for troubling him, withdrawn her request for his help, even stumbled off in embarrassment. But this was the new her. No apologies.

At least, not for a while.

#

“Is that everything you require, my lord?” Nathan asked as he closed the folder in his hand and looked across the desk at his employer.

Viscount Marcus Fulton leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “Will you never stop ‘my lording’ me, Blackstone? You have worked for me for seven years and you have never even simply called me Fulton.”

Nathan sighed. “As we have discussed numerous times, sir, that would be untoward. We are not of rank, so addressing you so informally would be impolite.”

“As impolite as ignoring my desire that you do so?” Fulton laughed, steepling his fingers.

“Nearly,” Nathan said, his tone so dry that his words could have blown away in the wind. Immediately, he blanched.

Fulton sat up. “Good Lord, man, did you just jest with me.” His employer pounded the desk with his palm. “Seven years and I am finally making progress with you, Nathan. Come, have a drink.”

Nathan opened his mouth, then shut it as his employer pushed to his feet and made his way to the liquor cabinet where he withdrew one of his finest bottles of whiskey. Damn, the man made it hard to refuse.

“Perhaps one,” he conceded, rising and smoothing his waistcoat awkwardly.

As Fulton poured, Nathan observed the man. They were of an age. In fact, they had attended Eton at the same time. Fulton had never been anything but friendly to Nathan, although even as a young man Nathan had rebuked those attempts because of the one thing that made them so utterly different.

Their rank.

Nathan had spent a lifetime watching his father kowtow and simper and be overly familiar with men of higher rank. And he had watched his sire be played a fool and made the butt of every joke imaginable.

Nathan had vowed, at the tender age of ten, never to allow himself to be put in such a situation. Still, it was difficult. Fulton was amusing, intelligent and for some reason he kept trying to make a friendship with Nathan. And sometimes, like today, Nathan wished he could reciprocate.

Especially since he had no one to talk to about what had transpired between himself and Maddie. That kiss that had been haunting him since they parted ways hours before.

“So what has brought on this sudden surge of friendliness?” Fulton asked as he handed Nathan a glass. He motioned to two chairs by the fire.

Nathan hesitated before he moved to one of them slowly. “If I have been unfriendly, my lord-”

“Great God, don’t start with that again,” Fulton groaned as he took a sip of the amber liquid. “You have never been anything but utterly polite and completely appropriate, so don’t spend the next ten minutes apologizing. I only meant that today you seem… different. And since you have been absolutely the same for so many years, I am intrigued. What is it? Did you win money? Get into a fight? Meet a woman?”

Nathan stiffened and Fulton’s face broke into a broad grin. “Aha! A woman. Very good, Blackstone. I have told you before, I think you should wed. Estate managers are always better when they are married and settled. Not that you aren’t ship shape as it is. But think of the money I could make if you were happy every so often.”

Nathan forced a smile at the other man’s joke, but inwardly he flinched. Happy. Had he been happy before? It didn’t seem like it. Not unhappy, perhaps, but not happy. But when he had been standing by the lake with Maddie, he had experienced a satisfaction, a calm and peace, like he hadn’t known for God knew how long.

“Who is she?” Fulton pressed.

Nathan glanced at his employer cautiously, ever aware of the line that separated them. But also aware of how much he needed a confidante.

“She works for Lord Heatherton,” he finally admitted.

“Ah, Heatherton, a good chap, indeed,” Fulton said with a nod of his head. “And do you like the young lady?”

Nathan shifted under his employer’s scrutiny. Fulton had never minced words and now he was getting to the heart of the matter. A heart Nathan wasn’t sure he was ready to examine.

“I-I do like her, my lord,” he said slowly. “I like her a great deal. She is not like any other woman I have ever met.”

Fulton’s expression changed slightly. A hint of wistfulness came over his face. “Ah, lucky man. Most of the women I meet are sadly interchangeable. You know, you’ve been watching them these past few weeks.”

The two men shuddered in unison and Nathan couldn’t help but exchange a smile with Fulton over the frivolous nature of his houseguests.

“I say if you like the girl, you should throw caution to the wind,” Fulton said, finishing off his drink.

Nathan set his own glass aside and frowned. “I am not certain.”

Fulton tilted his head to observe Nathan closer. “Ah yes, I realize that is not a comfortable notion for you. And I-” he hesitated. “I understand why.”

Nathan stiffened. “Sir?”

Fulton shrugged. “Look, Blackstone, we went to school together. Even though you kept yourself separate from those of rank, I did hear you speak of your father a few times. And I met him once before his death when his employer met with my father.”

Nathan swallowed hard, clenching his jaw as he tried to remain stoic. “I see.”

“I never mentioned it because you never have invited much personal interaction with me. But I do like you Nathan. You are a good man and I think we could have been friends in another life.” Fulton got to his feet. “I want you to know that you are nothing like your father. No one has ever met you while you worked for me who wasn’t impressed by your skill and demeanor. You are respected everywhere you go.”

Nathan stood and straightened his shoulders. “And that, my lord, is why I must continue on as I have. Throwing caution to the wind could easily reverse those good opinions I have earned.”

Fulton shook his head. “There is a middle ground, Blackstone. Someplace where you could be human around men of rank and still maintain your decorum. I do hope someday you will find that middle ground.” The other man stepped forward and clapped a hand on his shoulder briefly. “If you do, we’ll have to play billiards together. I hear from others on the staff that you’re brilliant and it has been a long time since someone bested me.”

Nathan nodded. “Yes sir. Good afternoon.”

Fulton strode around his desk and settled into his seat. “Good afternoon, Blackstone.”

Slowly, Nathan left the other man’s company and gently shut the door behind himself. In the hallway he expelled a long breath. He had never opened up to Fulton like that before. And somehow, it wasn’t as horrible as he had imagined. He hadn’t sunk to a level of groveling, nor made himself too much an equal of the man. Both were things his father had done regularly.

Still, he wondered at Fulton’s statement. Could he throw caution to the wind, at least in some areas of his life. Be human, as Fulton had put it, and still maintain his pride?

Because at present Nathan was sorely tempted to do both. To share more of himself. Only he wanted to do it with Maddie.

Chapter Four

Maddie drew in a long breath before she stepped forward and looked up at Quint. She fought the urge to shudder as she stared into the horse’s brown eyes. Good Lord, he was big.

“You’re doing very well,” Nathan’s soothing voice came from behind her. Then, without warning, his large, ungloved hand was on the small of her back, warm and comforting, as well as utterly distracting.

Of course that sensation was nothing new. During the past week that they had been meeting, Nathan’s presence had been as overwhelming as the idea of becoming better acquainted with the intimidating animal that stood before her. It wasn’t that Nathan was cold or distant. On the contrary, he had been the perfect teacher: kind, encouraging, and utterly gentle.

Still, whenever he was within a mile of her, all she could think about was that passionate, unexpected kiss they shared a week before. And though he’d made no motion to repeat that event, sometimes she caught him looking at her with the same heated expression that had darkened his handsome face that fateful afternoon. Her body inevitably reacted accordingly, her heart rate increasing, her hands shaking, her posture slowly moving until she leaned toward him.

But he always turned away, returning to their lessons and leaving Maddie with a mixture of relief and disappointment.

Mostly the latter.

Despite the emotional distractions, she had to admit that Nathan’s lessons were paying off. When she was near Quint, she no longer felt that choking desire to run as far away as she could, though she wouldn’t say she was ready to swing up into the saddle and ride either.

Still, it was quite an accomplishment, overcoming one’s fears, even just a little bit at a time.

She cast a quick glance over her shoulder at Nathan. He was just a hair’s breath away, his warm body ever present behind her, watching her with just the slightest smile turning his full lips upward. Her heart skipped at the sight of him.

If only she could overcome her strong emotions toward him next. Both the desire to touch him again, and the fear of what he would say when the truth about her identity finally came out. Guilt stabbed her, just as it constantly did when she thought of that eventuality.

“I think that is enough for today,” she murmured, stepping away from his touch. She paced across the rolling grass, clenching her hands into fists reflexively.

Nathan patted Quint’s side before he turned toward her. “I am most impressed, Maddie. Each time we meet, I see you making great strides in overcoming your apprehension. I have always admired people who chose to face what troubles them, rather than running away.”

Maddie shut her eyes briefly, ignoring the itching burn of tears that threatened to fall. “I don’t know if I should be admired,” she finally said. “After all, I am afraid of an animal who would likely do me no harm.”

Nathan touched her arm, forcing her to look at him. Forcing her to face both his ready smile and her own lies reflected in his stare.

“But that fear comes from something, does it not? A past experience. You’ve never told me what happened, Maddie.” He motioned to a blanket he had spread out beneath a tree at the edge of the field earlier. “I would like to hear about it. Perhaps it will help if I know the truth.”

Maddie barely fought the urge to snort. Oh, the truth. That was something she had been avoiding rather handily. That and anything about her true identity. She dodged and parried like a champion fencer any time Nathan asked her about her family or her past or her life in general.

Sadly, the more she spent time with him, the more she wanted to tell him the truth. And the more she avoided it, for she knew it would end the fantasy world she’d built. The world where a man like Nathan Blackstone would like her, where she could overcome her fears, be anyone she desired and have more than the lonely life to which she had resigned herself.

“Maddie?” he asked, tilting his head to examine her closer.

She forced a smile before she moved to the blanket he had indicated. Taking a seat and arranging her skirts around herself, she shrugged delicately.

“I’m afraid the truth isn’t particularly interesting.”

Nathan pursed his lips. “You are forever telling me that nothing about you is interesting,” he said, chuckling though she sensed his frustration. “And then you reveal nothing to allow me to judge that for myself. Humor me this once, Maddie. Please.”

She caught her breath at the addition of the word please. It was a dagger right to her lying heart, a reminder that this man deserved at least some of the truth. All of the truth.

But some would have to do.

“As a child, my elder brothers delighted in tormenting me.” She shook her head. “They were childish pranks for the most part. Pulling my hair, putting worms down my gown, that sort of thing.”

Nathan nodded. “As a lad, I believe I tormented a few cousins in a similar fashion.”

Maddie smiled at the image of serious Nathan as a playful youth. Then she shook her head and continued with her own story. She had to focus if she didn’t want to reveal too much.

“One day my brothers told me that our father had arranged for a surprise for me in the stable. They blindfolded me and guided me down.” Maddie shut her eyes briefly, drawing in a long breath in an attempt to remain calm as she retold this part of her story. “When they removed the blindfold, I found myself in the paddock mere inches from my father’s new purebred Arabian stallion that he was so proud of. The animal was enormous, staring down at me with flaring nostrils. I couldn’t help it. I screamed.”

Nathan stiffened and she could see from his expression that he realized what was about to transpire in her story.

“My brothers didn’t realize it, but the horse was still spooked from its long journey and the new surroundings. He reared when I cried out and began careening around the enclosure, smashing into the boards and making a noise I shall never forget.”

Nathan’s mouth was a harsh line. “Idiots. You could have been killed.”

She nodded. “To be fair to the boys, they were horrified. It wasn’t their intention to hurt me, just frighten me. My oldest brother, John leapt into the paddock right away and pushed me clear. He broke his arm in the process, so he got his own form of punishment. Richard went screaming for our father and the groundskeeper and they managed to calm the animal and tend to my brother’s injury. But the damage was done. I have been terrified of horses ever since.”

She frowned as she thought of how kind her family had been. Her brothers remained too chagrined to this very day to even speak to her about horses again. And her father told her more than once that she never had to go near any animal that frightened her. At the time, she had been relieved, but now… she wondered what would have been different if she had been forced to face her terror as she was doing with Nathan’s help. Would she have come to enjoy riding, as most girls of her station did? Would she have formed a bond of friendship with her horse as Nathan had with Quint?

What had she missed out on by being ‘protected’?

“I can see why you were so afraid,” Nathan said, his fingers brushing over hers all-too-briefly. Her foolish body reacted to that slight touch. “It must have been quite terrifying. I have heard that Arabians can be hot-blooded and-”

He came to a sudden halt in mid-sentence and Maddie reluctantly stopped watching his tanned fingertips brush over hers. She looked up to find him watching her with an odd expression.

“What is it?” she asked, still dreamy from his touch.

He frowned. “Did you say the horse was your father’s purebred Arabian?”

Maddie nodded slowly before realization dawned. Arabians, especially purebreds as she had explained, were one of the most sought after and expensive horse breeds in Britain. The kind of man who would own one was a man of means and status.

A man like a Duke.

A man like her father.

And from the confusion in Nathan’s eyes, he was fully aware of that fact. But of course he would be, he managed a peer’s estate and he loved horses. He understood how Maddie’s world worked.

“How did your father end up with an Arabian?” he asked, his brow furrowing. “That kind of extravagance…”

Maddie pulled her hand away from his and made a move to get up, but he caught her wrist before she could escape. He stared at her.

“Why do you avoid these subjects?” he asked.

“You avoid them, too,” she blurted out. “I have never heard anything about your family, your past. You are as much a closed book as I am.”

With a frown, Nathan released her wrist and leaned back against his palms. He stared up at the cloudless sky above with a heavy sigh, the sound of a man resigned to something he had been avoiding.

“That is a fair statement, Maddie. It’s true I have been reticent in sharing much information with you. But if I am to demand more from you, I suppose I have no choice but to give you the same kind of history that I request. So you want to know of my family.”

Maddie relaxed back onto the blanket, no longer driven to run. She could see the pained expression in Nathan’s eyes and she longed to touch his cheek, to make him smile, to take that hurt away, even though it was not her place.

“Yes,” she found herself saying softly. “If you will share that with me, I would be honored to know more about you.”

“Honored,” he repeated, a humorless chuckle escaping his lips. “There is not much of that in my tale. My father was a gentleman’s son, but not a peer. My grandfather had little money, though, and high aspirations for his son. He wanted my father to have more to be more and my father danced to his desires until the day he slept in his grave.”

Madeline wanted so desperately to say something to comfort him, but she forced herself to remain quiet as he continued.

Nathan stared at the grass that peeked around the edge of the blanket. “My father became an estate manager, just as I am. But instead of settling into his duties, instead of being respectable, every moment he worked at being his employer’s lackey. He kowtowed and bowed and let himself be the brunt of every joke. If a peer said jump, my father’s immediate reply was to ask how high. He made a fool of himself every day. Every night he spiraled further into a drunken haze. I think he must have hated himself.”

Maddie nodded slowly. She could understand his father’s actions in some way. As someone who had always been within Society, but also far removed from its inner circle, she had often been tempted to play the fool for a moment’s attention. But she had resisted.

Clearly Nathan’s father hadn’t. And Nathan had been forced to watch it. Which certainly explained his rigid attention to the rules of interaction between peers and those who were not. And his dark feelings toward those with rank.

Including her when he discovered the truth.

“I am surprised you followed him into your profession,” she said softly, forcing herself to speak past the lump in her throat.

“I was lucky that a few of the men who were witness to my father’s actions recognized that I had talent or intelligence of some kind. It was suggested to his employer that I be sent to Eton with some of the other lads. For whatever reason, he agreed. And there are certainly plenty of boys there who are not part of the peerage. I thrived, though I never let myself play my father’s games.” His eyes grew dark and distant. “I kept myself at a respectable length from those who were above me. Even those who seemed to want to be my friend. It was better that way. Shortly after school was over, one of my classmates inherited the title of Viscount and I became his estate manager.”

“Yes, you and Lord Fulton are of an age, aren’t you?” Maddie murmured, thinking of the friendly, engaging Marcus Fulton. He had been kind enough to dance with her a few scant times at balls in the past, though she doubted she had ever stayed much in his mind. She couldn’t imagine Fulton treating Nathan as his poor father had been treated.

But she would wager that Fulton also made overtures to be Nathan’s friend. It was simply his nature.

“Do you know the Viscount?” Nathan asked, his gaze snapping to her face again.

Maddie blanched. Yet again, she had allowed her distraction to interfere with her reason. First, she had slipped up about her father’s expensive horse, now she had made a remark about Fulton that implied a familiarity. Her entire web of lies would unravel before sundown at this rate.

“I have-I’ve seen the man,” she said, avoiding the direct lie once more and hating herself for it.

Nathan nodded slowly, but she could see from his posture and expression that he was not fully satisfied yet. “Now I have shared a bit about my own past. So tell me about your family. What led you to taking a position as a lady’s maid if your family had enough money to afford an Arabian?”

Maddie bit her lip. “I-I-” she stammered. But there was nothing to it. The fact was that she had no more lies, no more ways to avoid the truth. The time had come to be honest with this man and suffer the consequences. At least she had experienced a few days with him that had changed her life. She could hold onto those things forever.

“Nathan-” she began, drawing a shuddering breath.

He leaned forward and suddenly his bare fingers stroked her cheek in a feather light touch. The air between them grew heavy and charged and all Maddie could do was stare into his eyes and blink foolishly.

“What are you so afraid of?” Nathan whispered.

“You,” Maddie blurted out before she thought. “Of what you’ll think of me, of what you’ll say, of what you’ll-”

Before she could continue, Nathan threaded his fingers into her hair and dropped his mouth to hers. All the words on Maddie’s lips, all the thoughts in her mind, drained in a startling lack of time. For that brief moment, Nathan’s touch was all that mattered. Feeling his lips move over hers, tasting his tongue as he gently, slowly took more fully, those were her life’s blood.

And this time, she knew it would be the very last time it happened. So she savored it. She refused to end it and she prayed Nathan felt the same.

#

Nathan recognized the moment when Maddie surrendered not just her arguments, but her body, to him. It was in the way she went weak in his arms. It was in the catch in her breath.

But mostly it was in her kiss. Suddenly her mouth was hot and sweet and ready, her breath in short pants, her tongue meeting his with less of the innocence she had exhibited the first time they kissed.

And Nathan was… lost. Washed away, yet again, on a sea of heady desire, overwhelmed by feeling. It should have been terrifying, since it represented everything he’d fought against his entire life.

Instead, it was right.

And he knew that this time nothing would stop him from doing more than merely kissing Maddie. He wanted to burn the memory of her touch deep into his skin. He wanted to make her shiver and cry out his name.

There were consequences to such a thing, of course. But he knew exactly what they were and he actually welcomed them.

Nathan shifted every part of his concentration onto Maddie’s touch. She had slipped her hands up the rough fabric of his jacket and was clenching at the fold of his lapels, pulling him closer. Her breasts flattened against his chest and he felt her heart pounding against his own.

Slowly, gently, he detangled one hand from her hair and glided it down her back, tucking her even tighter into the curve of his body. When she scooted to her knees and their hips touched, she let out a hiss of breath that caused sensation to multiply. He could feel her touch, taste her in every pore and nerve of his body. As if she had, with one passionate kiss, overtaken a piece of his soul.

One he relinquished freely.

As their mouths mated, Nathan lowered her onto the soft blanket, covering her body with his and reveling in the feel of her length beneath him. It had been a long time since he felt the pleasures of a woman’s heat against his own, and certainly he had never been with a woman who inspired such deep and passionate emotion, as well as desire.

Pulling away, he stared down into Maddie’s brown eyes, dilated with desire, her lips swollen and pink from his, her cheeks flushed. God, how he wanted her. But not on a blanket in the open. Not in some hurried fashion where he couldn’t insure she felt nothing but pleasure.

“Maddie,” he said softly, beginning to pull away as he knew he should.

She grabbed his shoulders with a wild shake of her head. “No,” she pleaded. “Not yet. Just a little while longer before-”

With a deeper blush, she cut herself off and Nathan groaned. She had no idea the pressure she was putting on his ability to remain a gentleman. She wanted more and he wanted nothing else than to give her more. Take more.

He shut his eyes. “Very well, Maddie,” he whispered, lowering his lips to hers to brush a light kiss across them. “Just a taste of what I’ll give you later, when we are alone. When there isn’t anything separating us.”

Her eyes widened, but before she could speak he brushed his hand down the front of her plain gown. She shivered as he let his fingers glide over the rise of her breast and felt the pebbling effect on her nipple beneath the fabric.

“Nathan,” she moaned, part question, part plea.

“Shh,” he soothed, cupping her and feeling his erection swell. “Just let me, Maddie. I swear to you I won’t take anything from you…” He lifted his gaze to hers. “Yet. Not here.”

She hesitated for a moment and he saw a thousand thoughts rush through her mind before she nodded. “Y-Yes. I trust you.”

He dropped his mouth to hers, continuing to massage her breast as he plundered her lips. Soon, Maddie began to lift her hips to his, little breathless moans gasping out between kisses as she surrendered to the pleasure of being touched for the first time.

With that thought thrilling him, Nathan let his hand sweep lower, gliding over the curve of her stomach, across her hip, down to her thigh where he caught a handful of cotton skirt and began to ball it up. Lifting, he slipped his hand beneath and rested his palm flat on the warm silk of her stocking-clad knee.

Maddie bucked at the touch and her hips rolled up to grind against him, eliciting an unbidden moan from his lips that broke their kiss and send starbursts of pleasure to explode before his cloudy vision.

“Great God, woman, you test my resolve,” he moaned as he rested his forehead against hers.

She smiled up at him. “Your resolve to do what?” she panted.

He brushed the tip of his nose against hers slowly. “To stop myself from having my way with you here in the open air.”

A great shiver wracked her body from head to toe. Her eyes grew wide as saucers and she blinked at him a few times before she whispered, “Oh.”

“Instead, I want to give you pleasure, Maddie. Will you let me?”

This time, there was no hesitation. “Yes.”

“Thank God,” he muttered as he let his hands continue their winding way up the smooth satin of her inner thigh.

When he reached the top of her stocking, she let out another shiver when skin met skin. How he wished he could see the flush of her flesh, watch the damp desire coat her, see her breasts arch up as he slid his finger to the crease of her thigh and hip. But there would be another time for that in the future. For now, he had to be satisfied with feeling her reactions and seeing them reflected in her expression.

There was plenty of satisfaction in both when he finally brushed his fingertips across the cleft between her thighs. Pink heat flushed Maddie’s cheeks and her eyes fluttered shut as she let out a broken moan. Her legs clenched ever so slightly, just enough tension that it limited his movements.

But he was gentle, he went slowly, although it pained him to do so. Stroking, opening, coaxing, he touched her. When his fingertips grew wet with the evidence of her arousal, her thighs slowly began to unclench and her eyes opened on a sigh.

“I didn’t know-” she began. “That is, I’ve never…”

She trailed off, looking at him with helpless and desire-filled eyes.

“And we’ve hardly begun,” he murmured. “There is so much more than this.”

Maddie sunk her teeth into her full lower lip and tilted her head to examine his face closely. “Show me,” she finally said, so low that he hardly heard it.

He met her stare, not allowing her to look away. Then, without saying anything, without breaking the gaze, he glided one finger into her tight, clenching sheath. Her hips jolted at the intrusion and she expelled her breath with a gasp. Her back arched as he gently curled the digit, dragging it in and out of her body with a steady, smooth rhythm.

He watched every moment, every reaction, with bated breath. He loved how her legs shook as she neared completion. The way her body clenched around him made him rock hard for her. But it was the expression in her eyes that drove him to give her ultimate pleasure. Her face was entirely open, her stare trusting.

Finally, she clenched the blanket in her fists and let out a low, strangled cry of pleasure. Her hips bucked, shivered and then she collapsed, weak on the wrinkled blanket. Reluctantly, Nathan withdrew from her still quivering sheath and smoothed her skirts back over her legs. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her lips. One she returned with the same amount of passion as he still felt coursing through his veins.

Maddie opened her eyes and looked up at him. “Thank you,” she whispered and he thought there was the faint hint of tears there.

He frowned. “It’s only the beginning, Maddie. There is so much more. And I will show you, but not like this. Not when it’s secretive and hidden and-”

Maddie interrupted him by flinching and rolling away. She got to her feet, smoothing her skirt as she did so. Nathan looked up at her with growing concern. What in the world made her look so forlorn, made her shove her trembling hands behind her back? Made her unable to meet his eyes.

“Nathan,” she began, her voice cracking. “There is something you should know. I should have told you from the beginning.”

He stood up and stepped toward her. “Then tell me now. There should be no secrets between us.”

Maddie sucked in a pained breath. It was clear she was struggling with whatever confession she felt driven to make and Nathan’s heart began to pound ever faster as he waited.

She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, another voice interrupted.

“My lady? Lady Madeline! Lady Madeline, where are you?”

Nathan turned to face the shouts and found a servant in the livery of Maddie’s employer, Lord Heatherton, hurrying from a copse of trees that surrounded the open field. As he drew closer, Nathan saw that he was flushed from exertion and breathless.

“There you are, my lady,” the man said, stopping in front of Maddie and executing a swift bow. “Your aunt has gone into early labor and we cannot find Lord Heatherton. She is asking for you, Lady Madeline. You must hurry back to the house.”

All the high color left Maddie’s face as she cried out, “Serena is in labor, no it is too early!”

Nathan stared at Maddie. The servant’s words, which had been so confusing, began to sink in. Lady Madeline. My lady. Maddie had called Lady Heatherton by her first name without hesitation. Dear God, that meant… that meant…

“The doctor is on his way and I must join the others in the search for Lord Heatherton. He went out this morning, but no one has been able to find him,” the servant panted.

“Go!” Maddie cried. “Go and find him then, I can make it back.”

The servant bowed again and rushed away, leaving Maddie and Nathan alone. Immediately, she looked around her, her expression forlorn and terrified. “I-I must go back. My aunt is not due for many weeks, she must be so afraid and I-”

“Your aunt, Lady Madeline?” Nathan repeated, his heart all but choking him as the last piece in this confusing puzzle clicked into place.

He had just spent the afternoon pleasuring not the simple lady’s maid he had grown to care so deeply for, but a peeress of the realm. A woman of rank. A woman who had lied to him from the first moment she met him.

Maddie spun on him, tears trickling from her eyes. But she didn’t speak. She didn’t deny. She simply held up her hands in a gesture of surrender.

“I wanted to tell you so many times,” she finally gasped out.

“And you should have,” he replied as he grasped the blanket and yanked it from the ground. “But you have your aunt to attend to and I will join the others in finding your uncle. I believe he may have had an appointment with my employer. Perhaps he is still there.”

Maddie nodded swiftly. “Yes, please see if he is. My aunt will need him now.”

Nathan stared at her. She still looked like the innocent girl that he had come to know over the past fortnight. The girl who had put visions of a future into his head.

But she wasn’t that girl and she never had been.

As if on cue, she stepped forward and hesitantly reached for his arm. “Nathan-” she began.

And though it pained him, he had no choice but to step away. “We can speak of this later, my lady. For now you must go to your aunt.”

She swallowed hard, blinking several times as if staving off tears. Then she nodded and ran toward the Heatherton House and away from Nathan.

Chapter Five

“There you are, Nathan! I’ve been looking for you all over and-”

Lord Fulton came to a sudden stop as he entered the neat, tidy quarters that Nathan had resided in since he began his employment. Marcus tilted his head and leaned in closer, his dark eyes taking in the half-empty whiskey bottle on the table and Nathan’s disheveled appearance.

“Great God, are you drunk?”

Nathan bit back a humorless laugh. “Not quite. I’m still working on it.” Then he shook his head. Despite his inebriated state, he knew better than to behave in such a way. He had to be respectful, he had to be-

“Oh bugger it,” he murmured before he swept the bottle up and took another long swig.

Fulton shut the door without asking leave. Turning one of Nathan’s plain, wooden chairs around, he sank down onto its seat and draped his arms over the back. One fine brow arched and he said, “Out with it.”

“Out with what?” Nathan asked, not daring to look at the man who probably knew him better than anyone else, despite all of Nathan’s attempts to stave off a friendship over the years.

“When you stormed in here this morning and announced to Heatherton that his wife was in early labor, you must have known that you would have a hero’s reception later. You were the one who found the husband and sent him off to save the day. The baby was born, by the way and is healthy and doing well, as is Lady Heatherton.”

Nathan shut his eyes briefly as relief washed over him. He couldn’t imagine the pain Maddie… no, Lady Madeline, would have felt had her aunt’s pregnancy ended poorly. And though he realized they could never see each other again, he certainly would not have wished that agony on her or her family.

Fulton shook his head. “Great God, man. You realize you’ll probably receive some monetary thanks from Heatherton. You should be celebrating your windfall, not drinking yourself into a stupor and looking like you lost your only friend.”

Again, Nathan held back a bark of laughter. That was exactly how he felt. Like he’d lost his best friend and his future.

“I don’t want Heatheron’s money,” he said softly, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth. How humiliating to be paid by Maddie… Lady Madeline’s family. “I only did what any decent person would have done. I don’t want anything more.”

After all, he’d taken so much already. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been his fault. He had still risen up above his station.

“Did something happen between you and that young woman you spoke of the other day?” Marcus asked.

Nathan stiffened. “Why do you ask that?”

Fulton smiled a little. “Because this long face you are exhibiting seems more related to trouble with a woman than anything else.”

Nathan hesitated. This was not an appropriate subject to broach with his employer, especially now that Nathan knew the truth about Maddie’s identity, but he couldn’t exactly ignore Fulton’s question.

“She-she wasn’t who I thought she was,” he finally stammered. Just the words made his heart ache and memories rush back to assault him. Memories of Maddie’s mouth coming open beneath his. Of her body shaking when he touched her intimately. Of the shining trust in her eyes.

And of the pale horror when the servant called her ‘Lady Madeline’ and destroyed the house of lies she had so carefully crafted over the weeks since they met.

“Ah,” Marcus nodded before he reached out and plucked the nearly empty bottle from Nathan’s fingers. He downed a swig for himself as he pondered what Nathan had said. “But then, they rarely are, are they?”

“Sir?” Nathan repeated, his mind spinning from alcohol and disappointment.

“Women. They are rarely who you think they are. One day they are light and playful, the next they are a tempest. One day a shameless flirt, the next a proper lady.” Marcus shrugged. “It is what makes them interesting. I’m sure your lady will return to whatever form you liked best soon enough. No reason to get sauced.”

“I’m afraid it isn’t that simple.” Nathan dragged his hands over his face with a long sigh.

“Care to explain?”

He stared at the other man again. Fulton was always pressing him to accept a little friendship. To trust him. To allow himself to be ‘human’, as Marcus had called it so many times. And Nathan so desperately needed advice on the strange events that had brought him to this place. Fulton understood the world Maddie-Lady Madeline-inhabited. He also knew exactly why Nathan couldn’t cross into that world, beyond the obvious differences in station.

Right now, Nathan needed reminding.

“I-” Nathan began. Then, stammering, he found himself recounting the entire story, from the moment he met Maddie to that morning when he realized her true identity. The only thing he left out was how much further than a kiss they had progressed. That was not anyone’s affair but theirs and he wouldn’t sully Maddie-Lady Madeline’s- honor by spreading tales.

It was amazing. When he finished his tale, he already felt lighter. As if just saying the words out loud made them less bitter. Less troubling.

Fulton stared at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly gaping. He grabbed for the bottle between them and took the final swig before he said, “Well. That certainly was not the story I was expecting. Madeline Reynolds, I never would have guessed. She always seemed so mousy and bookish.”

Nathan wrinkled his brow. Mousy? Bookish? He shook his head. He had never seen her in those terms. What was wrong with the men of the ton?

Nathan shrugged. “But now you see my dilemma. I have become overly familiar with the daughter of one of the Empire’s most powerful Dukes. Everything I believed about her was a lie. I am the biggest fool imaginable.” He shuddered. “Probably the lady has been laughing at me the whole time.”

Fulton shook he head immediately. “No, that I don’t believe. Lady Madeline has never been cruel. And after everything she has suffered at the hands of love, I doubt she would purposefully inflict pain on someone else.”

Nathan fisted his hands beneath the table. For a brief, powerful moment, he had been jealous of his employer. Fulton knew Maddie, perhaps not in the physical way Nathan had, but he knew the truth about her past, had every right to speak to her if he desired to do so… hell, the man had probably danced with her and no one had thought anything of it.

“What do you mean, what she suffered at the hands of love?” Nathan found himself asking, despite the fact that he shouldn’t pry. But he found himself desperate for any shred of fact about the woman who had moved him in such a short period of time.

Fulton shrugged. “She was engaged for a time two years ago to a man… an idiot named David Langston. But it ended badly. I’m not sure of all the particulars, but I’ve heard rumors that he intended to pay for a mistress, along with other things, with Lady Madeline’s dowry. Her father overheard his plans and broke off the union. Poor girl had never had much standing socially before that, but afterward she suffered greatly.”

Nathan shut his eyes. “And she loved this ass?” he said softly, trying not to picture Madeline in some other man’s arms.

“Don’t all women fancy themselves in love with every man who gives them a side glance?” Fulton asked, his tone incredulous.

Nathan opened his eyes and looked at his employer evenly. “I cannot picture Lady Madeline being so foolish.”

Marcus folded his arms as he leaned away from the chair back. Finally, he smiled just a fraction. “Perhaps you are correct. She has always been a very steady young woman. She might not have loved him.”

Nathan pushed to his feet with a self-directed grunt of disgust. His employer was an observant man, and it was clear he had guessed how deep Nathan’s feelings for Maddie went.

“None of it matters now,” he muttered, almost as much for his own benefit as for Fulton. “The truth has been revealed. Lady Madeline will return to her life and I shall return to mine. It is over.”

Fulton got up with a clatter that drew Nathan’s attention. His employer was staring at him, eyes wide. “So, you will just give up, just like that? Even though you are in love with the woman?”

Nathan’s shoulders ached from the tension that stiffened them. So his feelings were that clear, were they?

“My feelings, whatever they may be, matter very little now. You know the difference in our stations, a…” He swallowed. “A love affair, a marriage, between us could never be. I will simply avoid seeing her again.”

Fulton shook his head. “That may not be possible. The Heathertons will likely invite you to their home to thank you within a week or two.”

Nathan pursed his lips, trying desperately to ignore the jolt of pleasure that accompanied his employer’s words. He did not want to see Maddie again. Or be invited to her uncle’s home. Or be celebrated as the hero of the day while she watched, beaming.

“Then I shall decline the invitation,” he growled. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have some matters to attend to that were neglected while I indulged in my own foolishness.”

Normally, he would have waited for Fulton to excuse him, but this time Nathan simply left the room. If only he could leave the pain behind so easily.

#

Maddie stared at her reflection in the mirror, turning from side to side as she examined her face and looked for any difference she could determine. There weren’t any. Yet inside, she felt changed. Forever altered.

Others had noticed, as well. In the past two weeks, her aunt and uncle’s home had been flooded with well-wishers, visitors who wanted to celebrate the new baby boy who had made his presence known in such dramatic fashion. Of course, all the dramatics had been for nothing, once the doctor sheepishly admitted that he had miscalculated how far along in her term Serena was. It turned out baby boy Simon had been right on time, not early in the slightest and he was completely healthy.

Maddie’s father and mother had arrived just five days before. The moment the Duke saw her, he had declared that the country air had changed her, done her good. And all Maddie had been able to do was blush as she hugged her father and prayed he would never discover her deception. He would not be proud of her for playing another person for a fool as she had Nathan.

Not that it had been her intention to do so, but in the end she had done just that. What was worse was that Nathan could not forgive her for it. In the two weeks since they had parted under such trying and unexpected terms, he had made no attempt to contact her. When she could, she had even slipped away, making the rounds of all the places they had spent time together in the hopes she would stumble upon him and have a chance to explain… or at least apologize.

But all her wanderings had left her with nothing but painful memories and a heavy sense of guilt. And loneliness.

There was joy, of course. How could one not feel joy when those around her were so joyful? But Maddie felt separate from it all, watching from a distance as her own pain sat heavy in her chest.

“My lady?”

Maddie jumped as a voice echoed from the door across the room. Smoothing the lines of emotion from her face, she turned toward the maid who had interrupted her reverie.

“Yes, Loralei?”

“I beg your pardon, my lady, but your father and uncle have requested your presence in the Sapphire Room. There are more guests to receive since your aunt is still above stairs recovering and your mother is in the village.”

Maddie bobbed out a quick nod. “I shall be down directly.”

Once the young lady had slipped from the room, Maddie faced herself again. She had to break loose of these maudlin thoughts and out-of-control memories. She had known from the very beginning that the lies she had told would ultimately end whatever relationship she had formed with Nathan.

Of course, she hadn’t predicted falling in love with him.

“No,” she hissed to her reflection through clenched teeth before she turned on her heel and made for the door.

She was not in love with Nathan Blackstone. She couldn’t be or else the rest of her life was going to be bleak, indeed. Even if he could overcome what she had done, there was no way he would allow himself to overcome the difference in their stations. He had made that clear more than once.

Maddie stepped from the last stair and moved toward the Sapphire Parlor. She could hear voices within and stopped for a moment to calm herself. She didn’t want to come inside looking like she’d lost her only friend the world or she would draw unwanted questions and attention to herself.

No, she had to remain calm. She had to remain focused. She had to remain resigned, as she had been for so long, to the way things were in her life.

Forcing a smile, she opened the parlor door and stepped inside. But what she saw before her drew her up sharp and made her smile melt away.

Nathan sat on a couch across from her father and her Uncle John, the Earl of Heatherton. His expression was utterly miserable as they leaned forward, speaking to him in low tones.

Maddie clenched her fists to her chest. Dear God, her secret had been uncovered. They knew what had happened between her and Nathan and now he was paying for her selfishness.

In one brief moment, several thoughts rushed through Maddie’s mind. The first was that she did, indeed, love the man who sat just feet away. The second was that she wasn’t going to allow him to suffer for her lies, nor allow anyone else to dictate her destiny ever again.

So she stepped forward and said, “Father, Uncle, stop! What happened between us was not Nathan’s fault. I allowed him to believe I was someone I was not. If you want to blame someone, blame me.”

A startled silence followed her abrupt outburst. Slowly, both her father and uncle got to their feet and turned to face her. And just as slowly, Nathan got up from his place on the settee, his expression more sick than ever. It was only then that Maddie noticed Lord Fulton standing by the window, taking in the scene with wide eyes and a slightly bemused expression.

“Good afternoon, Madeline,” her father said evenly, though she saw emotion light up in his eyes. “Your uncle and I were just thanking Mr. Blackstone for his part in returning John to your aunt’s side during her labor.” He arched a brow as he slowly let his gaze fall back on Nathan. “However, it seems there was much more going on here than met the eye. Would either of you care to explain Madeline’s outburst? What happened between you and my daughter that she is trying to protect you from my, until now, nonexistent rage, Mr. Blackstone?”

#

Nathan shut his eyes for an all-too-brief moment, but when he opened them nothing had changed. The Duke of Kincaid and the Earl of Heatherton were still staring at him expectantly, the deferential attitudes they had displayed earlier when thanking him now replaced by wary anger and accusation.

And behind then stood Maddie… Lady Madeline. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, though her fine dress was a reminder of why his thoughts about her beauty were so inappropriate. Somehow it didn’t matter. He stared at her, drinking her in like a man kept from water for a fortnight. It had been more than that since he last saw her and he was parched with desire to hear her say his name, to touch just her hand.

It was clear by the way she stared at him, horror and apology in her eyes, that she had thought she was saving him when she blurted out her confession to her family. Yet, behind that, there was something more. Something deeper. She looked at him with the same sense of longing that he felt.

She had missed him. And it made him want to push past her father and just touch her face, kiss her, consequences and stations be damned.

Instead, he straightened his spine and prepared to face those consequences.

“Your Grace,” he said with a nod to her father. “I met your daughter a little over a month ago while riding in the shire. We grew to be friends and I… I did court her, not knowing her true identity.”

Maddie stepped forward.

“It was my fault,” she repeated, the words directed toward her father even though she never took her eyes from Nathan. “I allowed Nathan to believe I was a servant in John and Serena’s house. It was never supposed to go so far, but-”

“And just how far did it go?” her father asked, his eyebrows both arching. “Mr. Blackstone, do we need to have words?”

Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Maddie jumped into the fray. “If you need to have words, father, have them with me. I am the one who lied, I am the one who misled Mr. Blackstone.”

“And why did you do that?” the Earl of Heatherton said, tilting his head as he glanced from Nathan to Maddie in confusion.

“Yes, a good question,” her father said.

Nathan found himself leaning forward. It was the answer he longed for, as well. To know why Madeline had misled him. Lied to him. Playing him for a fool.

She blushed, putting him to mind of her flushed skin the afternoon he had kissed her, more than kissed her. He blinked to forced the image from his mind and waited for Maddie’s reply.

“My entire life,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I have done what was right, what I was told to do. I allowed everyone around me to protect me like I was a china doll, not to be played with, only looked at. When I stumbled, someone always caught me. When I made a mistake, someone else cleaned up the mess behind me.” She blinked back tears as she looked up at her father. “It was done out of love, I know, but I was smothered by it all. Smothered by your title and my dowry and the knowledge that you would always ‘fix’ things’, Papa.”

“So you lied to me?” Nathan asked, still angry though he understood the idea of living under a father’s thumb. He had certainly done the same. “How did that give you the freedom you so craved?”

“It didn’t,” Maddie gasped, focusing her attention on him now. “And it wasn’t my intention. When we talked it was so natural, so easy. That first afternoon that we met, when you assumed I was a lady’s maid, I was so surprised that I didn’t correct you. I intended to the next day, but you truly liked me. Not for the money, not for the title, not because my father pressed you to pursue me, but because of me. It was a heady feeling.”

She reached out and suddenly her warm, soft skin brushed his hand. Nathan sucked in a breath as lightening bolts of awareness rushed through him, despite their proximity to so many others. Despite the fact that he now knew her to be a peer who did not belong in his world. Nor he in hers.

When she touched him, she was just Maddie. His Maddie. And he wanted her and loved her just as he had since the first moment he laid eyes on her.

“Nathan,” she continued, completely oblivious to anything or anyone else. “I didn’t think that continuing just for a little while in the fantasy world would hurt anyone. And then I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. The day Serena gave birth to Simon, I did intend to confess everything. But the servant came and blurted out my title to you before I could. But I never did any of it to hurt you or mock you. I just wanted…” She caught her breath. “I just wanted to be with you. And I knew that once you knew who I was, you would never allow it. Your pride would separate us and I didn’t want what we shared to end.”

Color flooded her cheeks again and she looked around, as if she had only just recalled that others were in the room with them. She stepped back.

“I’m sorry, Nathan. I’m sorry that I lied. But what we shared was not a lie, I wanted you to know that.”

Nathan stared at her, too stunned to say anything in response. All he knew was that his heart was pounding for love for this woman, with desire to keep her near him always.

And yet he couldn’t.

The Duke slowly cleared his throat, the sound like a shot in the silent room. “Madeline, I would like a word alone with Mr. Blackstone.”

Maddie spun on her father with a gasp. “Papa!”

He looked at her with a frown that could freeze water. “Maddie,” he barked out, sharp. “Step outside with your uncle and Lord Fulton. I will call for you when I’m ready.”

Maddie sent one brief glance in Nathan’s direction. She mouthed, “I’m sorry,” before she followed her uncle out and Fulton closed the door behind them.

Nathan widened his stance and slowly met the Duke’s stare. He had promised himself long ago never to cower before any man. And he didn’t intend to start with the Duke of Kincaid.

Even though he realized that he was about to have one of the most uncomfortable conversations in his life with one of the most powerful men in the Empire.

Chapter Six

“May I get you a drink?”

Nathan blinked. Was the Duke of Kincaid offering him refreshment, even though he knew a lowly estate manager had all but seduced his daughter?

“Blackstone?” the Duke repeated, holding up a bottle of some kind of spirits.

“Ah, no sir-er, Your Grace,” he said, stammering from confusion. “Thank you.”

The Duke gave him a half smile. “Well, I need one.”

He poured amber liquid into a glass and motioned for the chairs they had been occupying before Maddie’s ill-timed interruption. Ill-timed, and yet every time Nathan thought of it, his heart swelled with the idea that she would be willing to throw everything away just to protect him.

He couldn’t recall anyone doing that for him before.

“Please, sit,” Kincaid’s voice pierced Nathan’s thoughts.

Wary, Nathan took a place, sitting ramrod straight as he waited for this man to rip him into shreds. Instead, the Duke took a thoughtful sip of his drink and simply stared at Nathan.

“Who were your family, Mr. Blackstone?”

Nathan shifted. Well, he should have expected this. Bloodlines were key in Kincaid’s world. And Nathan’s would never be up to snuff.

“No one of consequence, sir. My father was a gentleman’s son, but he had no title or money or standing of his own.” He shrugged. “It really makes no difference, though.”

“Doesn’t it?” Kincaid asked. “Are you so angry with Maddie for her deception that it means so little?”

Nathan’s eyes widened. “I-”

“Do not misunderstand me, my boy,” Kincaid interrupted. “I do not blame you for any feelings of betrayal or anger that you direct toward my daughter. What she did was very wrong, no matter her reasons. And I apologize for that on her behalf.”

For a long moment, Nathan could think of nothing to say. This conversation wasn’t what he had expected when the Duke demanded they talk privately. There was no yelling, no offered payoff, no threats. Kincaid didn’t even seem upset, beyond his disappointment in his daughter’s actions.

When he didn’t speak, Kincaid continued, “However, I cannot ignore the facts. Whatever has happened here, it has changed my daughter. I noticed it the instant I arrived.”

“A change?” Nathan asked, hungry for more information, even though he could not understand Kincaid’s civilized approach. Surely the man was furious and this was all some trap to make Nathan even more miserable later.

“Yes,” the Duke said with a faraway frown. “Before she left London, I think a little piece of her soul had been broken. She tried to hide it, but I saw the signs that she was defeated. Resigned to a very empty sort of life. It troubled her mother and I, but we could find no way to overcome what she had experienced. To convince her that there was still a future waiting for her.”

Nathan frowned as he thought of what Fulton had told him about Maddie’s broken betrothal to a bastard who did not deserve her. The idea that she had judged herself, given up hope for happiness, hurt him in a deep place. Like it was his own heart that had been maimed.

“But you say she has changed now?” he said softly, daring to meet the Duke’s eyes.

The other man nodded slowly. “Her mother and I felt a shift in Madeline the moment we stepped from the carriage. It is hard to explain, but for the first time in a long time I saw a new confidence in her. She seemed to have a fuller sense of herself and what she wanted. And now I understand why.” The man tilted his head and examined Nathan closely. “But I do have one question.”

Nathan’s head was spinning. Kincaid was talking as though he actually didn’t mind the relationship Nathan and Maddie had formed. But it couldn’t be. A man of his rank could never accept this match.

“A question, sir?” Nathan managed to choke out since the Duke seemed to be awaiting his reply.

“Were you truly unaware of my daughter’s rank? Of her financial worth?”

Nathan’s surprise faded into the background, replaced by indignant defensiveness. Is that what her family thought? That he was some kind of immoral charlatan, pretending not to know her when he was actually after her money?

“I had no idea who Maddie was. All I saw was her true worth, Your Grace,” he said, his voice strained by an attempt to remain respectful in the face of this implied slur. “And that had nothing to do with her name or her dowry. If others have not recognized it, that was their failing, not mine.”

For a long moment, the Duke pondered his answer. Then a slow smile tilted his lips. “Earlier, my daughter very gently accused me of interfering with the living of her life. And I think perhaps she is right. I have protected and coddled her too long. She is certainly capable of making her own decisions and speaking for her own heart. If you are agreeable to meeting with her, I will call her in.”

The very idea of seeing Maddie again made Nathan’s heart pound. But he was still left with a staggering sense of confusion. The Duke had exhibited no anger, there were no threats. And none seemed to be forthcoming.

For his entire life, Nathan had encountered men who flaunted and used their rank to crush others beneath their heels. But Kincaid was not like that. Come to think of it, neither was Fulton. Nathan respected both men enormously. And they seemed to respect him in return.

Did that mean that his view of their class had been twisted by his father? By his past? Become so distorted that he had been unable to see? Had his prejudices blinded him… kept him from happiness?

And would he allow them to continue to do so now?

“Yes, I would like to speak to Maddie,” he murmured.

“Good.”

The Duke rose to his feet and moved toward the door. But before he opened it, he hesitated.

“I do want you to know that if you and my daughter come to some kind of understanding, that I expect you will still come to me and ask for her hand. A father likes to have those little rituals.”

Before Nathan could respond to that stunning statement, the other man had opened the door.

“Mad-” he began.

But before he could even complete her name, Madeline hurried to him and pushed her way into the room. Nathan got to his feet and stared at her. Her dark eyes were wild and expressive with worry and anxiety. But none of it was for herself. It was for him.

“Papa,” she began, breathless. “Please, let me have my say.”

The Duke pressed his hands to her shoulders and gave a light squeeze. “I am not the one who needs your explanations.” He turned her toward Nathan and gave a little shove. “You wanted me to step away and let you make your own mistakes. Do so.”

Then he left the room, leaving the door open enough that there would be no scandalized talking about their being alone later.

Nathan stepped toward her, but then stopped himself. He was staring at a person he at once knew and was a stranger. A person he had come to love and yet convinced himself he could not have.

And he had no idea what to say to her. Or if there was anything he could say that could overcome the lifelong vows he had made. And the lies she had told in order to pretend their differences away.

#

Maddie bit her lip. Nathan had moved on her at first, but now he had stopped and was just staring at her. His face was unreadable and his eyes cloaked. She had no idea of his thoughts or his feelings when it came to her. Her heart sank. It was entirely possible that everything was ruined.

The old Maddie would have run away from that possibility. She recognized that fact. At one time, she would have been too afraid to face her mistakes and simply waited until they had faded.

But she was no longer that girl. That other person, the frightened mouse, had died the moment Nathan rode into her life. And little by little, she had been reborn thanks to his patience and his… his love. He had loved her, in that moment, she knew he had.

And she wouldn’t let him turn away from that just because she had a few more embellishments to her name than she had confessed to from the beginning. She was a new Maddie, and this Maddie intended to fight.

“I hope my father was not hard on you,” she finally said, breaking the awkward silence.

Nathan shook his head and for the first time his emotions were clear. Her father’s interaction with him had surprised him.

“No, he was actually very… kind. He seems to blame you more than me for what happened.”

She nodded. “As well he should, and so should you. I never should have lied about who I was. But I-”

She stopped. Some parts of her were still hurt and frightened. Her bravery faltered.

“But you…?” Nathan encouraged her, finally moving from his frozen spot. He took a few steps toward her before he hesitated.

Swallowing, Maddie forced herself to continue, “I didn’t like who I was when I met you. But you liked the girl you thought me to be. So I wanted to be her. I wanted to be the kind of woman that a man like you could like and talk to and…” She blushed and cast a quick glance over her shoulder to the slightly open door. She lowered her voice. “And want.”

“And was that girl you?” Nathan asked. “What was the truth and what was a lie?”

Maddie bit back a gasp. “Only my name was the lie. My station. Everything we talked about, all the books we both like, my fear of horses, my brothers, all that was true. All that was me.”

Nathan shook his head and there was a sadness on his face that made Maddie want to weep. “But your station is, I’m afraid, perhaps too insurmountable an obstacle.”

She fisted her hands at her sides. She knew full-well why Nathan felt that way. How deep seeded his feelings on the propriety of class and rank were.

“Because of your father?” she said slowly. “Because of who he was and how he behaved?”

Nathan nodded once. “I told you about him. I will not have other people whispering about how I jumped above my station. How I married a woman for her rank or dowry. I will not be humiliated like that.”

Slowly, Maddie shook her head. She felt pity for Nathan’s growing up, for the pain he must have endured, but there was a stronger emotion that burned within her now.

It was anger. Something she rarely allowed herself to express, but now she couldn’t control it.

“So you would rather throw away a chance at love and happiness because you don’t want people to talk?” she asked, moving on him and closing the final gap between them. “I have lived with talk for a long time, Nathan. It is not the worst thing that can happen.”

“But if we were together it would be so much worse than anything you have ever endured,” he argued.

Maddie shivered. So he was thinking about a future together, as well. Even if he was fighting against it, that possibility was in his mind.

Which meant she had a chance.

She caught his arm and was instantly hit by heady desire when she touched him. By the way his eyes widened, then darkened, she knew he felt the same. She struggled to keep her thoughts on her retort, not the reactions of her body.

“You have no idea what I have endured,” she said. “But I do not regret any moment of it. Everything we overcome, makes us who we are. And when other people whispered and giggled and pitied me behind my back, it helped me realize that I couldn’t care what they said or did or thought. You helped me see that, too. Now please, see it for yourself.”

Nathan frowned and suddenly he caught her upper arms. He pulled her a little closer and his voice was low and harsh when he said, “I cannot give you diamonds or fine gowns. I cannot offer you the best of things. I work hard and I make a decent living, but I never will afford those things. Even if we could overcome the whispers, what about the life you have been accustomed the living?”

She shook her head. “Do you know me so little? The day you almost ran me down on Quint, I was wearing my favorite gown. And you thought I was a servant, Nathan, so that should tell you something about my fashion sense. As for the life I am accustomed to living, I will be happy to leave it behind.”

“You say that now, but in a year-”

She lifted her fingers to his lips. They were warm and firm beneath her touch. “The happiest I have ever been was never in a ballroom or a seamstresses shop. The happiest I have ever been is walking around the lake with you. And that takes no money.”

He hesitated and Maddie fought the urge to rejoice. She was breaking down his walls, she could feel it. And now she had to take the biggest risk of her life. Yet it didn’t frighten her, it thrilled her.

“I love you, Nathan Blackstone,” she whispered. “With all my heart and soul. I love you enough that I do not care about anything except spending my life making you happy. I want to read books together by the fire, I want to finish learning how to ride Quint, and I want you to touch me again like you did that last day by the lake where I finally felt like I had found the missing piece to my life.”

Nathan’s eyes widened with each pointed word. They softened, filled with emotions.

“Do you love me?” Maddie asked. “That is the only thing that matters to me.”

Nathan smoothed his rough palm over her cheek, cupping her face with so much gentleness that she could hardly breath for the choking press of tears in her throat.

“I do love you, Madeline Reynolds,” he whispered and his voice cracked. “I love you so much that it pains me to think of the hardship you will face if you marry me.”

“So it won’t be easy?” Maddie asked.

He nodded wordlessly.

She smiled. “Nothing worth having ever is, Nathan. But if we face our troubles together, then they will only make us stronger.”

He sighed, a resigned sigh. But also a happy one. And then, for the first time since he discovered who she truly was, he smiled. And Maddie’s heart swelled.

“Then marry me,” he whispered. “Marry me, Maddie. And challenge and confuse and delight me for the rest of my life.”

“Yes,” she whispered as she wound her fingers into his hair and drew his mouth down for a kiss. “Yes.”