Ice In My Veins

Kelli Sullivan

AuthorHouse™

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© 2010 Kelli Sullivan. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 11/18/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4520-8532-6 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-8533-3 (sc)

Printed in the United States of America

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Although some places, teams, hockey leagues etc are mentioned by name it was purely to help make the story more realistic. Although some characters are modeled after real people, the story is fictitious. All personal names used in this story are fictitious and if they resemble true people it is a coincidence. This book was written for entertainment and enjoyment purposes only. The NHL, AHL or CHL and affiliates did not endorse the use of their organizations for this publication.

No part of this publication may be reproduced in the English language or translated and reproduced in any other language or transmitted in any form or by any means electronically or mechanically including: photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior permission in writing from the author of this book.

Contents

Dedication

Summary

Chasing Dreams

Invitations

Heading North

Challenges

The Right Stuff

Taking it Day, by Day

Meet and Greet

Standing My Ground

Hitting the Ice

Getting My Feet Wet

Stalker

Michigan

Hunted like Prey

Going Home Again

Surprises

Back to Reality

Buffalo, New York

True Meaning of Pride

Making My Mark

Providence, Rhode Island

Lonely

Pressure

Your Life Can Change in an Instant

Quick Reference

Author’s Comments:

About the Author:

Dedication

For all girls out there, who are afraid to follow their dreams. Never be afraid. It’s yours for the taking.

To my beautiful niece and Goddaughter, “LALLY”, Isla Grace, and my handsome nephew, “The B.O.S” Brody Oliver. I love you both very much. You mean the world to me. Bail ó Dhia ort! Always remember “Dream your dreams with open eyes, and make them come true.” ~ T. E. Lawrence. You can have anything you wish for. You just have to work hard for it, and it will come to you.

To the “Brat”, Brooke – Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t become what you have always wanted to be; follow those dreams. Thanks for your input and being my test reader.

To my Godson Kyle – Always believe in yourself and you can accomplish great things.

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know how to. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”

- William Faulkner

Summary

When a 16 year old, small town girl, Christine Matthews, from Dryden, Michigan, gets a shot at playing semi- professional hockey on a boys hockey team she jumps at the opportunity. Follow her ups and downs as she tackles some of lives hardships, surprises, and victories as she reaches out to catch her dreams. Journey with her as she struggles through some of life’s tough situations, as well as love and loss.

Her story is inspirational to people everywhere who feel their dreams are unreachable. It’s a story that touches hearts of all ages.

This is a fictitious story centered around real places, teams and events.

Chasing Dreams

Why was I so nervous? This wasn’t a big deal. Sure, I wanted it more than anything else in the world. I shouldn’t get my hopes up at all. So many times the doors were slamming in my face. I was used to it by now. To me it had been a slow process, this dream of mine. I always kept in the back of my mind a quote I had once read, from Confucius. “It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop”. Very wise words. I lived by them. I told myself it would be alright if it didn’t work out tonight. I would never stop. I would persevere.

Sports was the way to get anything according to my father. He said if us kids didn’t get to university on a sports scholarship, then we probably wouldn’t be getting there at all.

My father had gone to Michigan State on a football scholarship as a tight end. Something he reminded us daily about. I was the oldest of their kids, which meant that I had to set the example. My parents were always much harder on me than my two younger, annoying, ungrateful brothers. It was a lot to live up to.

I loved hockey. My father was never much of a hockey fan. It was my mother, who carted me off to early morning practices, and late night games; not that she enjoyed the sport either. My father focused on my two younger brothers; Phil 15 and Tyler 13, who played for local football teams. It really aggravated me to no end. He felt they, if given the chance; could make it all the way to the NFL. Something that he had failed to do. He seemed to be living vicariously through them. He trained them every day. He even hired a health coach for them. Something else he wouldn’t do for me.

I had to figure things out on my own. I was a girl; it didn’t really matter to him what sport I played, as long as it got me to college to find a sporty husband. That’s all he wanted. One of his favorite things to say was, “real men play sports, the rest just watch”.

I sometimes wondered what he would do if, God forbid, either of my brothers were unable to play sports. Maybe they would feel like I did most of the time. I played sports, and it still didn’t seem to be enough for him.

It bothered me that dad felt womans’ sports were no where near as important as a mans’. I definitely played hard; and as a Center, I was the top goal scorer in the league. This year, I was putting all my efforts into getting a try out for a Major Junior hockey team. I didn’t care what strings I had to pull to get there either.

I had been making massive amounts of video CD’s; and sending them to all the scouts; and teams up in Canada, and across the United States. I saturated YouTube with video footage of my games. Some coach somewhere was bound to overlook the fact that I was a girl. That would show my dad! That would show them all!

If only I could make a major junior hockey team up in Canada. Canada was where they put out some of the best players in the world. I knew I had it in me. Hockey was my passion, my dream.

My dad and brothers were in hysterics when they found out what I was doing. It just made me more angry, and more determined. I reminded them that Manon Rheaume, in September of 1992, was strong enough when she was the first woman to play in an NHL game. I could be that strong, maybe even stronger. I was sure of it.

“That was just a publicity stunt.” I remember my father had said snickering. “Just a way to make women feel special and sell tickets.” He was so sure of himself. “Trust me Christine, it will never happen again. Even if you got a chance to play in the Quebec Major Junior hockey league as she did, that’s all it would ever be.” He laughed harder, along with my uncle and two brothers.

Those words haunted me.

I was positive that Manon had faced many major set backs, and she managed to push through them. Hell! She won gold twice in the Olympics. It’s not like she wasn’t any good. She was great! It’s just that the deck was sort of stacked against her. She had paved the way for many other girls to try their hand at boys’ hockey.

Charline Labonté was another female goaltender, who managed to play on a guy’s team - appearing in 28 games with the Acadie-Bathurst Titans of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League between 1999 and 2000. Then you have Hayley Wickenheiser, who was the first woman to actually score points in a mans’ professional league. If I remember correctly they called her the ‘Wayne Gretzky’ of woman’s hockey. If those girls could do it, so could I!

There was also a big difference between Manon and I. She was a goaltender who stood about 5’6 and maybe, if she was lucky, she might have weighed 125lbs. That is extremely small, for a goalie especially. She didn’t fill the net. She was great, and she’s still playing hockey. Not for the NHL, but she’s still doing what she loves. That is what’s important.

I was much bigger. I stood 5’9 and 170 lbs. I was solid muscle. I worked out every day for two, sometimes three hours. I had spent countless hours researching healthy eating, and weight training exercises on the internet. I knew that nothing would come to me easily. If I wanted it, I had to work for it. I was solidly determined. I was an unstoppable force. I was not only a sniper, but I could definitely hold my own in a fight, after taking three years of boxing. I knew I had to be tough if I wanted to play a sport like hockey. I focused entirely on hockey and school.

I didn’t have much of a social life. I had a handful of close friends; but most girls couldn’t understand my drive, my ambition, my dream. Most guys thought it was hilarious that I would even consider trying.

I will never understand why everyone believes men are better than women when it comes to athletic abilities. People forget that men have upper body strength yes; but women have much more lower body strength. Good luck to any guy who thinks that he can out skate me.

My father said it was because I play with a bunch of girls; but guys have tried to catch me also, and I usually beat them by at least three or four seconds. That’s a big gap. He just called them a bunch of Alice and Nancy-boys; meaning that they were sissy boys. Just once I would like to prove to him that a woman can do it.

My mother supports me as much as she can, but she really does cater to my brothers more. It has been very frustrating for me. If I had decided to be a gymnast or a figure skater, my father said he would’ve be more inclined to support me. It was fine! I would set my goals high and manage to reach them on my own.

I decided at nine years old that it would be me against the world. I knew back then how hard it would be. I think both my parents would love me more if I were a girly girl. I was never into dressing up, or doing my hair and make up. I was a hockey girl through and through. If I was to go to the rink all made up, it would take about five seconds for my hair to go flat and me to look like a raccoon.

It really bothered my mother that I played hockey. She wanted me to dance or model. That was just not who I was. She didn’t feel hockey was a place for girls. I didn’t consider myself beautiful or graceful. I was muscular and athletic. I was solid. I had a 4-pack, not some straight, curve-less, size zero body. I looked like a woman, not a little girl. I had a great figure. Curves and all, but you would never know it. I wore jeans and hockey jerseys; even to church. Mom would make me put on a coat or a sweater over my jerseys.

My father would just shake his head and say. “Can’t you be a normal girl for once? Why are you always trying to prove yourself to everyone?”

I remember when I was five years old. Mom had made me take figure skating lessons. It lasted one winter. I could never get used to it. It’s not that I wasn’t good at it. It was that it held no interest for me. For my sixth birthday she signed me up for ballet. What a joke! It was worse then the figure skating. She wanted something to balance out my love for hockey. I don’t think anything could take the place of my love for hockey. She was fighting a losing battle.

Dad on the other hand thought it was great that I was sports oriented. He just didn’t want to be forced to go watch whatever sport I was playing. He and I butted heads daily. I was an opinionated girl - not afraid to express how I felt, or what I was thinking. That drove him up the wall, crazy. He was old fashioned when it came to women and a woman’s role in sports.

He would never understand me. I wanted to be a Broad Street bully, like Kevin Atos and Toby Chalke. When I told my father that, he got mad. He said Toby Chalke was the dirtiest player he had ever seen. I didn’t care. Toby Chalke was my hero. I loved the fact that he was fearless out there. Sure he was a dirty son of gun, his moves on the ice were barely legal. That was what made him great! Dauntless! Not only that but every single team in the NHL had passed Toby Chalke over at the draft; one team three times, before the Philadelphia Flyers grabbed him.

Everyone knew he was good, but they didn’t want to take a chance with him because he was a diabetic. The Philadelphia Flyers owner, called a diabetic specialist. He asked the doctor if diabetes would affect his playing.

The doctor had explained, that it would not affect his playing; as long as he took care to maintain his diabetes. The Flyers finally took a chance on him. They excelled because of it. Yes, like Toby Chalke, I also wanted a team to take a chance on me.

I suppose, maybe, I reminded my father of Toby, with my opinions also. Toby Chalke is not known for apologizing for anything he has ever said. I remember him taking a lot of slack for his response to Kevin Dodd sucker punching that sissy Hangus. I had to agree with his remarks. If some imbecile was calling me out, talking trash about me - saying that I should be banned from the show - I might have sucker punched him as well. Hangus was being an idiot, he deserved that punch. Then he whined to the press, until he got sympathy from everyone. What a loser thing to do!

Not to mention, like another one of my favorite players, Kevin Atos ‘The Hammer’, I also held the record for penalty minutes in my league. The girls I played against hated to come up against me. Mostly, they would just get out of my way, or they would end up paying for getting in my way. I was a steamroller, who had amazing puck handling skills and the eye of an eagle. Coach used to refer to me as a brick wall. When some girl charged at me, I would stand on my skates, unmovable.

When I got a call from a CHL scout, I almost dropped the phone. He wanted to come watch me play. He was in town scouting another player, and thought he would come check me out while he was there. I didn’t tell my friends or family. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, or get my hopes up. It was last December; and in that game, I got 5 goals and 3 assists. No one in my league could even compare to my game stats.

He was back in town again tonight. He informed me he was here to watch. Today we were playing for the Girls’ U17, Tier 1 State Championship . We were 3-0 and had home ice advantage. We had gone undefeated all season and all through the playoffs. We were going to annihilate the Bears - hands down! That’s the thing. I felt I was too good of a player to be playing woman’s hockey. I needed to step it up a few levels and play with the guys. I hoped that this scout would put in a good word for me.

Mom dropped me off at the rink early. She told me that she would try to make it back to see the end of my game. That was if she could sneak away from Phil’s basketball game at the town rec center. Same old, same old. I knew I would end up waiting out front after my game for her as usual.

I didn’t mind though. I had stopped letting that stuff get to me a few years earlier. Tonight it would be up to me to make my dreams come true. I needed to focus. When Coach pulled me aside before the game, away from the other girls, he happily told me I had a visitor. I walked out of the dressing room and shook hands with Pete Masen. He was a thin, tall man in his early 40’s.

“Thanks for coming by Mr. Masen.” I smiled.

“No problem, I was surprisingly impressed with the last game of yours I watched. I don’t want to make you nervous Christine. I wanted to let you to know, that Ben Killerman will be in the stands tonight with me. He might like what he sees. If so, then he will want to meet with you after the game,” Pete explained.

“Ben Killerman!” I was in shock. “Wow, how did that happen?”

“I showed your tapes around to many of the coaches in the CHL. He was the only one who seemed to show any interest. No one wants to have to deal with the politics of even considering having a girl play on their hockey team. It’s too much of a headache for them.” He went on to say, “Ben has been around for many years. He doesn’t care about politics anymore. To him it’s about finding the players that fit, and from what he saw of your tapes. He wanted to see more.”

“Thanks Mr. Masen.” I acknowledged the extra effort he put in for me. “For taking a chance with me, and showing my tapes around. I am sure most coaches didn’t want to give them the time of day. I just want you to know that I appreciate what you have done for me, even if it doesn’t work out.” I thanked him with my hand out to shake his.

“Like I said before Christine. It’s up to you to show him what you’ve got. You need to just be yourself out there, and with him. I believe you do have the talent to at least get you a try out for a major junior hockey team.” He smiled wide as he shook my hand. Then, as he was walking away, he said “Good luck out there tonight Christine.”

“Thanks Mr. Masen.” I responded. I smiled up at Coach and he padded me on the back.

I skated out onto the ice for the national anthem. I stood there proudly, starring at the flag. Hmm, it would be weird to play for a Canadian team and hear their anthem played instead of ours. I scanned the fans in the stands wondering how different they would be. I would be proud to play for whatever country wanted me. Right now it was a US Tier 1 Girls team, but maybe by tonight it would be a Canadian Major Junior team.

The game went by so fast. I was on fire. Coach always said I had “ice in my veins!”

Tonight I rocked it, getting 4 goals and 7 assists. The three best players in the league were on my team. We had undefeated. I knew if I were to play for a guy’s team, it would be difficult to get 1 or 2 points per game. I just hoped that I proved myself to Mr. Ben Killerman. I was named the tournament MVP. That should also count for something; it was the third year in a row. I was also the team captain and took my role seriously.

I was nervous as I walked out of the dressing room. I looked around, quickly scanning the arena. Then, on the far left, I saw him - Ben Killerman, hockey legend. He was talking to Coach. I made eye contact with Coach and waited for him to call me over. I walked swiftly, but confidently towards them.

“Hello, Christine.” Ben greeted. “I’m Ben Killerman, coach of the Toronto Gophers in the Ontario Hockey League.”

I reached out and took his hand with a firm hand shake. “Nice to meet you Mr. Killerman; it truly is an honor.” I acknowledged.

“I guess you know more about hockey than I thought.” He smiled surprised that I knew who he was. “Tell me Christine, why do you want to play in the OHL?” He questioned me.

“Mr. Killerman.” I started. He cut me off.

“Please, Ben is fine.” He assured me.

“Ben.” I restarted with confidence. I knew how important it was to be confident. “As long as I can remember I have loved the game of hockey. Trust me, growing up in my home sports is treated like the holy grail - mainly football. I am the odd person out; because I am a girl, and because I don’t play football.” I laughed. “I would give anything to improve my game. If I could learn from a legend such as yourself, it would be a dream come true. I have always dreamed of playing in the NHL. I know girls and the NHL don’t have the best track record, but I believe I can be the one to change that Mr. Killerman, Ben.” I respond.

He looked me over closely. I knew he was sizing me up to see if I was big enough. I knew the guys in the CHL hit hard. They would make my life a living hell. No one wanted to play with a girl.

“Well Christine.” He paused briefly. “You do seem to have the size, and your stats speak for themselves. What do you think your parents would say to you coming up to Toronto, Canada, for training camp at the end of August? We would be happy to give you a chance to try your luck with our team.” He was a little hesitant as he spoke. I knew it was a big risk he was taking just asking me to come to camp.

“I think my father won’t believe me, and my mom will be happy for me.” I laughed a nervous laugh. What would my father say? I wasn’t sure. Would he laugh or be happy for me? It was almost as though Ben sensed my reaction. He seemed like a perceptive man.

“How about I pay them a visit. Have your father give me a call at this number.” He handed me a business card and pointed to a phone number on the back of the card. “I am in town for the next two days. I could stop by your house, and we can all talk about it together. How does that sound to you Christine?”

Ben Killerman, in my house, and being allowed to go to training camp in Canada - and play for a guys major junior hockey team, would be the best thing ever! “I think that sounds great. I look forward to it. I will make sure they call you tomorrow Mr. Killerman, Ben.” I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer. “Woohooo!” I burst out.

He laughed enjoying my enthusiasm. “Alright, Christine I look forward to meeting them.” With that said, he turned and walked out of the arena.

I wasn’t ready to face my family. I needed time to compose myself. I sat down on my hockey bag with my head between my knees and just breathed. I needed to calm down - act professional in front of my parents, so they would have total confidence that I could handle the situation.

How great would this be for me! I smiled, as I tried to hold back tears of joy. They were about to leak from my eyes. Breath! Breath! I just needed to breath!

Invitations

Once I was finally in control of my emotions, I calmly walked outside. I saw my family waiting for me in our SUV. I threw my bag and sticks into the back, then climbed in beside my two brothers. Phil gave me a friendly punch in the arm.

“Congrats Sis on winning the Championships. Sorry we couldn’t be there to watch, but you know I had a big basketball game today.” That was Phil’s way of apologizing. I knew that he sometimes felt bad that no one really cared about my hockey; as much as a self-absorbed brother could care.

“No worries,” I grumbled. I turned to look out the window as the snow started to turn into rain. As if he had a big game, please! It was a basketball scrimmage between all his football friends. Half them couldn’t play basketball if their life depended on it. That still took priority over my game. The thought suddenly bothered me.

“I guess that’s it for hockey for you Chrissy. So what are you going to do now?” Tyler smirked. He was embarrassed that I was such a tomboy and played hockey. He thought it made me a lesbian. Typical small town ignorant mentality.

“Funny you should mention that Tyler.” I leaned across Phil, and punched Tyler in the jaw, not really hard but forceful enough to make him mad.

“Owww!” He yelled “You’re such a guy.” He turned to look out the window on his side of the SUV.

Our parents very seldom interfered in our petty arguments. They usually let us battle them out, and deal with them ourselves. I wasn’t surprised when there was no response from the front seats when Tyler yelled.

“Dad, do you know who Ben Killerman is?” I inquired. Of course he knew. He knew tons about sports.

“Sure honey, he played for Pittsburgh back in the 80s. He was a decent defenceman.” He looked at me curiously through the rear view mirror. “Why do you ask Christine?”

This was it. I was just going to spit it out and have them all laugh at me. I took a deep breath before explaining.

“Well, he saw my tapes dad; Pete Masen, that CHL scout”. I paused, remembering that I had kept that a secret. Dad, glanced at me through the rear view mirror confused. I continued on. “Oh, I forgot to mention that. Well Pete came to check me out back in December, and I guess he showed Ben Killerman my tapes.”

The car was silent, all eyes were focused on me. It was slightly irritating. Even dad was still glaring at me through the rear view mirror. I continued explaining. “Well tonight Ben was there at the rink to watch me. He offered me a chance to go to his team’s training camp in Toronto, Canada, for a week in August.” I recoiled into my seat and waited for the laughter.

There was none. Instead there were four wide open jaws in shock. A few minutes past before any one spoke.

“What! Ben Killerman? Are you sure Christine?” My father was still in shock. I knew he wouldn’t believe me.

I handed my father his card, and he almost drove off the road. “He is only in town for two days dad. He wants you, Mom and me to sit down and discuss it. He told me to have you call that number on the back of the card, that’s where he’s staying.”

The next ten minutes of the ride home was in complete silence. Everyone was in shock. I wasn’t about to say anything else. I just wanted it to sink in with all of them. I needed them to know that I was good enough.

The next morning dad called Ben. He invited him over for dinner. He instructed my brothers to be on their best behavior; as it would be a good experience for them if they wanted to play sports professionally. My father wasn’t to enthusiastic about the invitation I got for the camp. He told me there was no way I would fair well against the boys. Not to get my hopes up. He thought that Ben was giving me false hope. He was just excited to meet a legend like Ben.

My father greeted Ben at the door, and invited him into the living room for a drink before dinner. I wanted to let them talk. I decided to help mom make sure everything was ready in the dining room, mainly, because I would be close enough to eavesdrop from there.

“It’s a pleasure to meet a legend like yourself Ben.” Dad said politely.

“Thank you Ralph,” Ben smiled.

After that, there was a lot of small talk about sports and about Ben’s NHL career. Dad of course brought it up several times; and I expected to hear it more throughout the evening; that he once played for Michigan. Then their conversation turned to me. I listened closer from behind the kitchen door. I could hear better from that angle.

“Now, about Christine.” Ben started explaining to my father. “I think she has tremendous talent. I believe that if she came up for training camp, that she might be a good fit for my team. I am looking for a winger with her speed.” Ben proposed.

“Christine is a center though Ben,” dad pointed out, as if he thought Ben had made a mistake.

“Oh, I am aware of that. I think I have two players that I can place her with on the third line that would help her transition.”

He took a sip of his scotch. “I know major junior is a rough league. However, I feel that your daughter has the size and the determination to handle that. I have watched many of her tapes, and spoken to her coach. I am confident that she is more than capable. I get the feeling that she can handle the pressure. She seems like a real go-getter. I need speed on my team, and she is fast.” He assured my father, who was listening, in shock, to what Ben was telling him.

“I have to wonder if that would be a good idea Ben. She is a girl,” my father warned. “Now I played football for Michigan State. I remember the locker room well. It’s not the most appropriate place for a girl,” my father added. He starred at the scotch in his hand, then smiled pleased with himself; like he was momentarily back in college.

How many more times could he mention he played ball. I rolled my eyes. Ben probably wanted to do the same. That thought made me giggle.

“I understand your worry Ralph. We would be very careful how we handled it. I have already spoken to a few of the players who I know will be returning to the team this season. We discussed it long and in depth. I believe my players will make her feel like part of the team. I assure you that she will be respected. We want to make a run for the cup. All my players care about is whether a player pulls their weight out on the ice for the full sixty minutes.” He said reassuringly.

“Well I suppose we could send her to the camp for a week, that couldn’t hurt.” My father said after pondering for a few minutes.

I almost ran into the living room screaming but composed myself. I did a little cheer dance in the kitchen. My mother glared at me like I was some sort of alien. My parents weren’t used to seeing me so happy. I went through the motions of being happy, but they knew I wasn’t happy in Dryden. The only time I truly felt happy was out on the ice. Since they were never at my games, I could see how this would seem weird to her.

Finally it was time for dinner. My mom always put on a good spread. Tonight she made turkey with all the fixings. We were all sitting around the dinning room table discussing my going up to Toronto. Dad had decided that he was going to come with me. This would be a first. I wondered if maybe now he would realize, how good I really was. I don’t think he understood how much I wanted this. Watching me at camp, working my butt off might give him a new understanding; maybe even bridge that huge gap between us. I hoped that would be the case.

During dinner, we discussed what would happen; if by chance, I did make the cut. We discussed how I would be living with a family who billets players for the team. Ben explained about me making a weekly allowance, but it would only be around $60.00. He also explained how the paid education scholarships worked. For every year a player plays in the CHL, they get one year of university paid for. That put a smile on my parents face and shock across my two brother’s.

After dinner Ben had to rush out because of a prior engagement. I thanked him for the offer, and for coming to dinner. He told me he looked forward to seeing me at camp. He mentioned that he would be sending me all the necessary documents and information I needed soon.

My father and mother argued long into the night. I could hear them from my bedroom three rooms down. Mom didn’t want me to go at all. Dad had reservations, but thought they should at least give me a chance.

I heard him tell my mother, “this way she can see that she isn’t cut out for hockey.” He figured I would bow out after the first two days at camp. He didn’t want me to blame them for the rest of my life, if they didn’t let me go.

I prayed that night for my parents to let me go. I know you’re not suppose to pray for things like that. You’re suppose to just thank God for looking out for you, but I really wanted this bad.

Heading North

The flight to Toronto from Detroit, Michigan, was short. Although to me, it felt like the longest trip of my life. I was from Dryden, Michigan. A small town with just over 800 people. To me, just the flight itself was a big deal. I had never been out of the United States before. Toronto was so clean and friendly. I expected for such a big city - for it to maybe be, like Detroit or New York.

We checked into the hotel near the arena. I decided that I wanted to go out and look around. My father had some work stuff to take care of, which he had brought with him. He told me not to go far. I wanted to check out the rink. I was sure that I probably wouldn’t be able to get in, but I felt the need to go there anyway.

Today I was just wearing a pair of old worn out jeans and my old time hockey t-shirt. It was one of my favorites. It was really hot and humid. My hair was just hanging limp, uncomfortably sticking to the sides of my face. I wished that I had put it up before I left the hotel. I felt like maybe I should have thrown on a pair of shorts, however; I didn’t want to go back to the hotel to change. I just wanted to see the arena. I twisted my hair through itself into a makeshift bun, so it wouldn’t stick to my face.

I was pleasantly surprised when I got to the arena to find the door was unlocked. There was no one around. I took a chance and walked in through the doors to take a quick peak. I saw where all the food concession stands were and the souvenir shop. I walked through one of the entrances to the inside of the rink.

It was huge! It must be able to hold about 8000 people in here. I could see that the Zamboni had just gotten off the ice, because it was fresh. I walked up the stairs to the nosebleed section and sat down. I wanted to get a feel for the rink. I sat there in awe just taking it all in.

It would be awesome to play in this barn. I bet it gets pretty loud in here on game nights. Canada is suppose to love their hockey, and have the ultimate, craziest fans. I started to daydream about being out there on the ice, scoring a goal and the fans going crazy. I was in my own little world. I could hear the roar of the crowd, listening to my name being chanted.

My daydreams were interrupted when, all of a sudden, I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped. It was a security guard, who didn’t look happy that I was in the arena. He glared at me with disapproving eyes.

“Miss, what are you doing in here?” He snapped.

I looked up at him “I am sorry, the front door was unlocked. I just wanted to come in and smell the ice. I just felt the need to get a feel for the rink.” I explained. I don’t think he was listening to me.

“Excuse me Miss, but I am going to have to ask you to leave.” He started to escort me out. “You crazy girls, always sneaking in here to meet the players.” He shook his head with disappointment from side to side. I was confused by his reaction to me. He must have thought I was some crazy fan or something.

We walked down a few levels when I noticed there was a guy who looked about eighteen or nineteen; and very good looking. He was just leaning against the glass all cocky like, almost as if he owned the rink or something. He stopped the security guard.

“Come on George, let her be. I will take responsibility for her.” He coaxed the security guard. Then he winked at me.

“Fine by me Alex. I will leave her in your hands.” George said to him, and he walked away. Maybe he worked here?

“Umm, thanks, I guess.” I didn’t really know what to say to him.

He was so cute. I felt my heart burst into a sprint. I didn’t want to look up at him, but I also didn’t want to look away, and look like an idiot. I glanced up slowly and looked at him, straight into those deep green eyes.“I’m Chrissy.”

“Hi Chrissy, I am Alex.” He smiled this adorable crooked smile. “Are you a hockey fan?”

“I guess you could say that.” I blushed and giggled. He thought I was a fan. How cute. “Do you work here?” I inquired.

He snickered at my question. “I guess you could say that.”

God, he was so good looking!

It wasn’t like me to pay attention to guys at all. I didn’t know where these feelings were coming from. I had never been on a date, or been kissed, or anything. Standing next to this guy, my stomach started to flutter, butterflies? I never had this feeling in the pit of my tummy before.

He motioned for me to sit down beside him, and I gladly accepted. As I sat down, I inhaled really big then exhaled. He looked at me with his head cocked to the side, wondering I suppose, at what I was doing.

“So are you from around here Chrissy?” He asked me, grinning. He oozed confidence. I liked that.

He had such a cute smile, and bright perfect white teeth. His lips were full. He was tall, built, with sandy brown hair and amazing green eyes. I had never seen eyes so green, and they seemed to penetrate deep into my heart when I looked into them. He was more than extremely attractive.

“Umm, no I am from Michigan. It’s my first time visiting Canada.” I was still taking in the size of the rink, my eyes scanning the stands trying not to focus on how good looking this boy was. I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it. I was sure of that. He looked at me strangely. He probably thought I was creepy or something, not being able to make proper eye contact with him at all.

“Oh!” He puzzled over why I was at the rink and probably my reaction to him. “And the first place you thought to visit is a junior hockey arena? Not the CN Tower or downtown shops.” He seemed to find that odd.

“Well, I am not like most girls. I don’t really like to shop.” I told him.

He chuckled. He had the cutest laugh. Oh my God! Why was I so enticed by this boy? I had to stop thinking about how handsome he was. He would be running for the exits as soon as he found out that I played hockey. I noticed that my palms were starting to sweat. I wiped them on my jeans. I hoped he didn’t notice that. My head was spinning. I felt weak and nervous. This was out of character for me.

“Tell me Chrissy, what brings you to Toronto?” He pushed for more information.

I didn’t want to tell him the truth. He seemed to be moving closer to me with each question. I could feel this strange electricity between us. It was an unnerving feeling. I didn’t know what it meant. Should I be honest with him or not? Guys usually reacted badly to the fact that I played hockey.

“I came up with my dad for a week.” I whispered looking down. I didn’t want to look him in the eye, it was like being caught in a tractor beam, slowly sucking me in.

“I guess you live around here or something?” I speculated and hoped.

If he did, and I made the team; then maybe I could get to know him. The thought made me smile. I wonder what he thought of me? I was so plain looking. My mother always told me I was beautiful, but when I looked at myself in the mirror all I saw was a plain average girl.

“Actually, I only come here for the hockey season. I am from up North, Sudbury.” He explained.

“Oh, you’re a player? I guess you play here for the Gophers then?” I asked curious now. Also suddenly embarrassed that I didn’t know this about him. I should have done my research before I came up to Canada. Maybe he didn’t know a girl was joining this years training camp? Great! The first guy that captivates me is my competition, or worse - my new teammate. Bad! Bad! Bad!

“Yes, indeed. I come to the rink before camp just to think and re-focus. Camp starts tomorrow.” He smiled then offered, “You should come watch, it’s open to the public.”

“Well, I guess I better get this over with.” I muttered under my breath, but he heard the comment. He looked at me strangely wondering I suppose, the reason for what I had muttered.

I decided to take a chance and be honest. He would find out tomorrow, so why not get it over with. “I will be here tomorrow. I am trying out for the Gophers.”

I looked down at my hands right after I said it. I was afraid of how he was going to react. It’s not like he could run away now. He would be there during camp. However, he could decide to give me a hard time about it.

“Really? That’s cool. What position do you play?” He asked more curious and enthusiastically, which surprised me. He must be pulling my leg. No guy was ever happy to hear a girl was trying out for their team. He seemed almost joyful about it. I didn’t answer right away.

“Hmm,” he muttered.

His response to me trying out for the Gophers still had me off guard. “I play center, but apparently Killerman wants to try me as a winger.” I stuttered slightly. “What about you?”

“I am a center. I float between the lines. Sometimes you have to spread out the scoring.” He winked. “This season, I will play first line and get much more power play time,” he noted.

What a cocky shit! I smirked at his cockiness.

“By the way; they call me (Red), on account of my last name being Reddrick.” His voice was charming, very masculine. This was bad!

“Are you not weirded out that a girl is trying out for your team?” He was being to calm about this, I couldn’t help but ask him.

“No, not at all. Hey if a girl is good enough for Killerman to invite, then she must have some talent. I am excited to see what you have to offer.” He smirked.

Why did he have to look at me like that? He was definitely flirting with his eyes and smiles. I was sure of it. Why? There was no way someone as good looking as him, would ever be interested in someone like me.

“I think I hold my own on the ice. Although I haven’t really had a chance to play with guys. I am a little nervous for camp. What’s it like?” I was dying to know. While I had him here, I might as well take advantage of the situation.

“It’s tough, most players are worried about making it through camp every season. There is a lot of talent, and you never know. If you have a bad camp - it doesn’t matter that you’re a good player, that is no guarantee you make the team. Unless like me, you already signed a contract.”

He was tooting his horn. Typical guy.

“It’s a lot of skating, a ton of drills. You’re sore every night.” He grinned with sarcasm.

“Wow! Looks like I have my work cut out for me then.” I scanned the rink again taking it all in trying to avoid looking into his eyes. I also was trying to brush off his remarks about how tough camp would be. I knew that was for my benefit. A kind of warning. I have a bad temper and didn’t want it to show. I bit down on my lower lip.

“You know it gets pretty rough out there during camp. Lots of guys, and only so many spots on the roster,” he warned. “Many of the guys can’t take it. It’s lots of pressure. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Hockey is a tough sport, it might be that those players just didn’t have what it takes.” I felt the blood rush to my face fueled by irritation. I knew what he was getting at. “I am confident in my abilities!” I snapped at him.

“You’re a girl though, girls don’t usually take the kind of pain and punishment that this level of hockey players can dish out. At this level of hockey, the game is a lot faster and harder hitting than what you’d be used to. What do you play Tier 1?” He mocked. “Many of the guys here have been to NHL camps, or played in the World Juniors or other major competitions.”

Now I was angry. “You guys!” I shook my head in disgust. “Just because I am a girl you think I don’t have strength, speed or skill.” I barked. “You’ll see tomorrow.”

I got up to walk away and he grabbed my arm. I turned and growled at him “let go!” He let go and threw his arms up in the air.

“I apologize Chrissy.” He stepped around me to stop me. “I truly meant no offense, even for me, a returning player, it gets pretty dicey, that’s all I was meaning.”

“I can handle it.” I stomped away still annoyed with him, without looking back. I could hear him snickering behind me. Great! Why do I have such a chip on my shoulder. Alex was cute. Now he probably thinks I am some kind of a psychotic girl, in need of therapy. If I made the team, I would have to rectify that.

When I got back to the hotel, Dad was waiting impatiently for me so we could go out to dinner. I brushed my hair out of the makeshift bun it was in. I threw it up into a ponytail. I was ready to go. We went to a nice restaurant to eat.

“What did you do today?” Dad asked me with a mouthful of steak. It drove me crazy that he always talked with food in his mouth. One of my many pet peeves.

“I went to check out the rink today.” I took a sip of my coke. “It’s huge, probably holds about 8000 people in there. Kind of intimidating,” I added. I intentionally did not tell him about my encounter with Alex. He would probably agree with the verbal diarrhea Alex was spewing.

“We can leave if you want Christine. If you think it’s going to be to tough for you.” He tried to coax me. “You are a girl and those boys are probably going to get tough with you, try and make you quit.” He worried too much about me in all the wrong ways. I was tougher than he gave me credit for.

“Dad, I’m going to be fine. You know I am tough - the more they throw at me, the tougher I get.” I assured him. “Besides if I can survive dealing with you and my lame brothers, I can survive anything right?” I snapped.

I took another sip of my coke and started to feast on the rest of my steak. I was a steak and potatoes girl. Bring on the cow, I’ll eat the whole damn thing.

Dad shook his head. “Alright Christine. I won’t be going to watch you this week. I don’t think I can handle watching you take that kind of beating. I will make sure I have ice for after your camp every day. I am sure you will need it.” He mocked me. “Those boys are going get rough, trust me.”

We didn’t talk much for the rest of the meal. I didn’t want to argue with him. This wouldn’t be any different to me. I was used to not having my friends or family around for my games and practices. It was probably for the best. Having my father in the stands might make me nervous.

Challenges

I showed up at the rink about fifteen minutes early. I was suppose to talk to Coach before the training camp started. I walked down the stairs to his office and knocked on the door. “Come in,” he called through the closed door.

When he saw me he smiled warmly. “Oh Christine. I am glad you came early. I wanted to talk to you about the changing arrangements. For today, and the rest of camp, I thought it would be best to have you suit up in the visitor’s locker room. You will have full privacy in there.”

He began shifting through papers on his desk and then continued. “I don’t know how this is going to go over with all the guys, it’s going to be a hard adjustment for them. They are teenage boys with raging hormones. I know that you are only sixteen, and if you have any concerns, or feel uncomfortable in any way come to me immediately. If you do happen to make the team, then we can all discuss this as a team. For now, for camp anyway - the boys will all be on their best behavior. I promise you this or they will be off the team. We try and teach our players respect and if they don’t learn to respect others, then that is the consequence they face.” He assured me, as he walked out from behind his desk.

“Thanks Coach, I will be fine.” I tried to reassure him with a smile; he wasn’t buying it.

“Don’t be nervous, you will be fine. Just remember that all those guys are in the same boat and as nervous as you out there,” he admitted.

“I also want you to meet Mr. Allan Richmond from the CHL.” He motioned towards the man leaning against the wall. I hadn’t noticed him before this moment. Mr. Richmond reached out to shake my hand.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Richmond.” I greeted.

He smiled as he shook my hand. His smile was warm and inviting. It sent an instant calm through me. However, I still suspected he was there with an agenda.

“Christine, I am here today, and will be throughout camp. Before a player is allowed to play in the CHL, they need approval from the League. This is standard practice. Nothing to worry about. I am hear to observe. As you probably realize it’s not common to have a girl playing in the CHL. We want to make sure that this situation will be handled appropriately. You won’t even notice me around.” He promised.

I was pretty sure I would notice him lurking around the rink. Spying on me - making sure I could handle the situation, and that the guys could.

I looked towards the coach. “You don’t need to hear all the politics behind this. I just wanted to introduce you both.” He assured me. “Now go ahead and suit up.”

“Thanks. Do I just come out to the ice when I’m suited up?” I inquired.

“Yes, see you out there in ten minutes,” he exclaimed as he walked away.

I walked into the visitor’s locker room and looked around. It was big, had showers, exercise bikes, T.V., a stereo; and a huge chalk board. If the visitors change room was this nice, I bet the home locker room was awesome.

I quickly suited up and went out to the ice. I wasn’t the first one out there. He was there also - the gorgeous guy, Alex, from yesterday.

He skated over to me “Hey there Chrissy, How ya doing?” He smiled, then he nudged my shoulder as if we were the best of friends.

It annoyed me. I wanted to smack the smile right off his face. He was acting like he hadn’t irritated the hell out of me yesterday with his comments. My blood was still boiling over from the conversation. He infuriated me.

“Good, thanks Alex.” I said icily. I made sure to use his name, so he knew I remembered it. I skated away from him still enraged at him and started to warm up on the ice.

He was watching me. I noticed right away out of the corner of my eye. How frustrating. What did he find so fascinating about me? What a jerk. I wanted to hate him, yet something was overriding that hatred.

My first impression from ice level was WOW! It was so different looking up into the stands from the ice. The rink was huge. I got a chill. I started to feel more nervous then I ever had before. I knew everything was on the line for me now. I had to make the most of this opportunity.

While I was down on the ice doing leg stretches one of the guys skated over to me. I bit my lip hesitantly. I was unsure if he was coming over to chirp me or not. The last thing I wanted at this moment was to get into it with another player. I had to keep my temper in check. That was something I was just learning to do. In the past, I had carried around a chip on my shoulder towards people who reacted badly to girls who play guys’ sports. I looked up at him guarded.

“Chrissy?” He asked politely and took his glove off. He put his hand out for me to shake. “I am Moose, well, Kyle Schneider, the team captain.”

I shook his hand and said, “nice to meet you”. He was pretty good looking as well. What was with these Canadian boys? They were hot. He was a big guy. Maybe about 6’3. He dropped down to the ice and started stretching beside me. He didn’t seem so bad. My guard went down immediately. I started to notice his warm chocolate eyes, the way his hair swooped down to one side, covering his left eye slightly. What was getting into me? Suddenly all I could think about was boys and how appealing they had become. I shook it off.

“So, are you nervous at all?” He asked as he stretched. “I heard that you have never played with guys before.” He stated.

Alex must have said something to him about our conversation. Big mouth! I glared over in Alex’s direction, he was still watching me.

“I am nervous as to what I should expect from camp I guess. Not to worried about the guys, I do have brothers.” I laughed trying to mask my anger.

He chuckled. “You sound like my sister, she plays hockey as well, for a girls team; she’s only twelve.”

My guard shot back up again. At first I was about to snap at him for referring me to his twelve year old sister, but then I realized that he just meant she was stubborn. I was without question stubborn.

He got up from stretching, and turned to me. “Well have a good camp, if you have any questions or concerns come see me alright.” He smiled sincerely, then skated away.

I got up from stretching myself out and skated to the center of the ice, where Coach had called us all around.

“I am only going to say this once.” Coach said with authority. “This year we have a girl at camp with us, as most of you have probably noticed.” He continued. “Her name is Christine, she goes by Chrissy. I expect you to treat her with the same respect you treat the other guys.” He seemed to make eye contact with two players in particular. They just nodded at him. “That being said, let’s start.”

I heard murmurs from the other players. There were a few muffled comments about how it wasn’t cool for a girl to be there with them - the elite. There were also a few dirty comments about me being hot and bang-able. Guys, they always had sex on their minds.

I heard one guy mumble, “kind of hard to wheel in a chick, if you have a girl like that cock blocking you. This is going to suck.”

The guy he spoke to commented back. ”She’s hot, I wouldn’t mind hitting that.” He snickered.

I sluffed the comments off. I ignored the stares. I couldn’t let things like that get to me. I was here for one thing only – HOCKEY! That’s all that was important.

Coach started the practice. “I want Welsh and Chrissy to swing low from opposite sides of the ice, receive a pass from Moose in corner. Welsh and Chrissy attack opposite end – Moose chases, but stops at blue-line. I will pass to Moose for the point shot. Welsh and Chrissy you guys curl up-ice and receive the pass from me to create a 2 vs 1.” He continued to explain in detail what he wanted each of us to do. He skated us hard for the next three hours. Mostly running drills. Testing us to see what we had to offer, and how much punishment we could take. Then he called us in to the center of the ice.

“Alright, today was good. You guys worked hard out there.” He continued. “Tomorrow will be different. I want all of you here bright and early; 9:00 a.m. for equipment fitting and medicals, and then outside for fitness testing. Should be fun!” He chuckled. “Now all of you get out of here and get a good night sleep tonight.” He walked off the ice writing something down on his clipboard.

Moose skated over to me and patted my back. “Wow, you impressed me out there Chrissy,” he complimented. “I wasn’t sure what to expect from you, but you certainly brought it.” His comments seemed truly sincere.

“Thanks Moose, I can’t believe how hard it was for day one.” I admitted. I was feeling the pain. I knew that was the point of the coach working us so hard.

“Don’t worry I think you’ll definitely make it past the first cut. Providing everything goes good for you tomorrow.” He smirked like he knew a secret. Odd!

“What is tomorrow? Medicals?” I questioned. “What exactly do they make us do?”

“Oh, it’s not a big deal, they weigh us all in, run a few tests, it’s really nothing. They just want to see what kind of shape we’re all in. Don’t worry about it,” he assured. “After you change, Coach wants to see you in his office.” He started to skate away “take ‘r easy,” he called from over his shoulder.

Great, wonder what the coach wants. Maybe he was going to cut me right away. Maybe that was the secret Moose was hiding from me? He was the captain, maybe he knew something I didn’t? I quickly showered and changed into my street clothes.

I walked to the coach’s office and noticed that in the room with him, were the rest of the assistant coaches and staff members. I suppose they were getting ready for tomorrow. There were a few lists of names on the dry board on the wall. The door was open. He motioned for me to come in. I did.

“Hey Coach, Moose said you wanted to see me?” I asked worried.

“Yes Christine, I know you are probably wondering about tomorrow. I thought I would just briefly explain a few things to you. Just so you know what to expect.” He said thoughtfully.

He looked back down at his desk, shuffled through some papers and handed them to one of the assistant coaches.

He started. “Tomorrow will be a long day, I just thought I would explain some of the testing that we will be doing. First we will do a psychological evaluation, this is basic. The test consists of a two-part written test of approximately one hour’s length. The first part is a long series of questions about your personality, including such things as mental toughness and coach-ability. It includes around 200 questions, most are yes or no answers.”

Hmm, that seemed easy enough I thought. I was good with tests. I was also an honest person with good leadership skills. It didn’t have me concerned.

He continued on. “The second part of the evaluation is a mental efficiency test. This measures spatial awareness, decision speed, decision accuracy, concentration, and rates of mental fatigue. A shortened form of the second part is repeated immediately after the fitness testing component. This is to determine how much the player’s reactions decline under stress and fatigue.”

I listened to him wondering if this test might turn out to be a three week test.

He kept explaining. “The medical part is just the filling out of a medical questionnaire, questions and examination by the team doctors, photographs of all the players, an eye test. I believe there is also two hand/eye coordination tests. Pretty simple things.”

This was the most I had ever heard him speak to me. I felt like I was sitting through a lecture. Thank God he spoke with expression, and not all monotone like some teachers I had in the past.

He paused briefly to take a sip of his coffee then started explaining the rest of the testing to me. “The fitness testing is more grueling. It consists of hand grip strength, wingspan which determines arm span or reach, push-ups and sit-ups; bench press: maximum number of reps at 150 pounds. Also standing long jump, vertical jump, seated medicine ball throw. Then balance, that is balancing on a balance board, and measuring how many times you touched the floor in 60 seconds. We test for agility also. It’s a few tests. One similar to the hexagon test. For that test, there is an ‘X’ at the center of a circle. You have to jump from the ‘X’ to the top of the circle, then back to the ‘X’, then to the right side, then back to the ‘X’ and so on. There are sensors all around the circle to measure speed. The Wingate test is a 30 second bike test for anaerobic power (measures explosive speed and fatigue). The aerobic bike VO2max test will test endurance, it measures VO2, heart rate, and duration of ability to pedal with differing resistance.”

I was wondering if he was ever going to come up for air. His explanation was as long as someone reciting the encyclopedia.

“Not so bad eh Chrissy, just like gym class,” he laughed. “Go to the hotel and get some shut eye. You will want to be well rested for tomorrow. You did good out there today.” He said as he showed me to the door.

“Thanks Coach.” I said, as I left his office.

Wow, if he thought that was brief I wonder what our team meetings were going to be like? I laughed to myself. Then I noticed out of the corner of my eye - he was standing by the doors watching me. Alex! The most annoying, stuck up, good looking, magnetizing, handsome, hot, charming, guy I have ever encountered. I wanted to hate him.

“Hey Christine, you did great out there, skated circles around more than half the guys.” He smirked. “Impressed.”

I had to admit “It was definitely tough out there, not what I expected at all.”

I pushed my hockey bag higher up on my shoulder. “I think by the time I walk to my hotel I might just collapse.”

“Oh hey, I can give you a ride, how far are you?” He offered.

That was unexpected. I wasn’t about to turn down a ride. I was aching all over my body. At this moment it didn’t matter to me that I wanted to hate Alex. The ride sounded wonderful. My father better have that ice ready that he promised me. Every part of my body was hurting.

“Umm, about five minutes, I would love a ride.” I answered him.

We walked out to his car. It wasn’t a car though, it was a GMC pick up truck. A Midnight blue 4x4; it looked and smelt new. I noticed it was fully loaded. It was a sweet ride.

He threw his bag into the back, then took mine off my shoulder and threw it in beside his. Then he unlocked the passenger door for me, and held the door open while I climbed in. He scurried around to the driver’s side and hopped in.

I didn’t understand why he was being so nice to me. Did he not think I was certifiably crazy with how I reacted yesterday? And if he did why was he so happy to give a crazy person a ride?

“So, what hotel?” He asked.

“Travel Lodge, about six blocks up.” I muttered.

It was only six blocks, but I was beat up pretty bad. I really didn’t want to walk. He smiled that crooked smile I liked, and started to drive. We drove in silence most of the way to the hotel, which made the drive a little awkward. I usually had too much to say, today I was almost speechless with him. He was so close to me, that I could feel that electricity between us again. It wasn’t a bad feeling. It was just a completely new and exciting feeling.

I wasn’t sure what to make of it. This was all new to me. It scared me to not be in control of my emotions around him. Made me nervous. I wondered if he could feel the electric current as well. We reached the hotel quickly.

I turned to him and said, “I really appreciate the lift Alex. Thanks, I guess I will see you tomorrow at the rink for testing.”

“No problem, I don’t mind dropping you off the rest of the week if you want. I know I wouldn’t want to walk after camp daily,” he stated.

I was wondering if he meant it. He seemed to be full of energy, he didn’t look close to the kind of pain I was in. I grabbed my bag and stick out of the back, and waved him off and walked into the hotel. At least if I made the team I wouldn’t have to cart my hockey equipment around. I would just be able to leave it at the rink once the season started.

The bath tub was full of bags of ice like dad had promised. He was laying on the bed watching television. He looked at me with a huge smirk on his face. I knew he was laughing inside at my pain. Men!

I threw my bag and stick down. “I’ll talk after my bath; would you mind getting me something to eat Dad? Please, I am starving.”

I didn’t wait for his response and walked swiftly into the bathroom and shut the door. I did hear him chuckle as he was leaving to get the food. I took my clothes off and slid into the ice cold bath. It was freezing, but it felt so good. I couldn’t stay in there for long. I showered off and put on my pajamas that were sitting on the counter top.

I think it’s the Sweds or maybe the Fins that believe in ice cold baths, then immediately taking a hot shower. It’s suppose to loosen up all the tight muscles and allow for better circulation. All I know is that my father swears by them and it felt great!

I plopped myself on the bed with a big flop. I demolished the cheeseburger and fries, which dad had picked up for me and brought back to the room. I chugged a litre of water and stretched out on my bed. I vaguely remember my father promising to set my alarm for 7:00 a.m. I must have fallen straight to sleep.

The Right Stuff

I woke up feeling refreshed mentally, but I was a little stiff. I stretched myself right away to loosen up my muscles. I wasn’t sure what to wear for today. We were having that grueling medical which took coach forever to explain. I decided on my black sports bra, tight fitting boy cut black underwear, sweat pants and a black t-shirt. I picked that, because I was pretty sure there would come a time throughout the day, that I would have to be half dressed around the guys. I didn’t want to wear anything too revealing.

I brought an extra change of clothes and all my toiletries. I walked out of the hotel and saw Alex waiting in the parking lot. I was startled and kind of creeped out. Why was he there standing outside of his truck at my hotel? I walked towards to him. Did I forget something in his truck? Why didn’t he just wait and give it to me at the rink?

“Umm, hi!” I greeted him suspiciously.

“Hey, I was on my way to the rink and thought you might like a ride. I wasn’t sure what time you would be leaving, but I guess I timed it well. I just got here,” he claimed. It was suspicious to me. I questioned his motives briefly with one eye cocked.

I could see my father looking out the hotel room window at us. “Sure, thanks.” I walked towards the passenger side of his truck and he followed to hold the door open for me.

I waved at my dad, so he would know that I knew the guy I was getting into the truck with and he nodded back.

“So, are you ready for today?” He inquired, his smile wide; almost taunting like. “I hate testing day. It’s long and boring. I can’t wait to get it over and done with,” he groaned.

“Yeah, from the sounds of it, I won’t like it much either.” We both laughed.

Inside the cab of the truck was spotless. This truck was either brand spanking new, or he really took care of it. His aftershave or maybe cologne lingered through the cab. He smelt so good. What am I thinking? This guy is my competition. I can’t be thinking he looks or smells good. I had to keep my eyes on the prize. Getting myself a spot on the roster.

When we got to the rink some of the other players were also just arriving and looked at us funny. A few smirked and laughed. I didn’t see what the big deal was. Alex was just giving me a ride, being friendly. The looks he was getting from the other guys seemed to insinuate that maybe he had something else in mind, other than just being friendly.

I grabbed my bag and stick out of the box of the truck. I thanked him for the ride and hurried off ahead of him into the arena. I threw my bag into the visitors dressing room, which was now mine for the week. I went to stand with the other players. Coach put us into groups and pointed us into different directions. I was grateful Alex wasn’t in my group.

My group went for the medicals first. The doctor was there, with two nurses and one of the team trainers. Mr. Richmond was lingering in the background. I knew he was watching how I handled myself around the guys. Also, I suppose how they were handling themselves around me. Spying on me!

The trainer spoke. “Alright, down to your boxers everyone.”

Then he noticed me standing there. The guys all snickered.

He walked over to me. “I’m sorry Christine, if this is uncomfortable for you, we can do your weigh in and stuff in private.”

Way to make me stand out as the center of attention Gerry, I thought to myself. “No, I’m fine. I better get use to it now.” I mumbled. “Besides, it’s not like my weight’s not going to get posted all over the internet under my bio right?”

I laughed, he shook his head yes and smiled. I stripped down to my sports bra and boy cut underwear. I heard a few whistles and whispered comments about my body being hot. I ignored it. I didn’t even glance up at Mr. Richmond, afraid he might use it against me somehow.

We stood one by one on the scale. The player that went up before me only weighed in at 143 lbs and 5’10. The guys were probably going to think I was a cow once I stepped up onto that scale. Although I looked good, was fit with a great body; I was much heavier than their 115lb cheerleader girlfriends. I chuckled to myself at the thought. Most of the guys, so far, were weighing in between 150 to 180 lbs.

The guy to my right spoke to me and introduced himself. “Hey, I’m Myles, they call me Coop. My last name is Cooper.”

I shook his hand. He was bigger than all the guys who had just weighed in. Not as appealing looking as Moose; and far from close to Alex, but cute enough. He seemed like a free spirited guy. A big teddy bear type of guy.

“I’m Chrissy.” I said, then it was my turn to stand on the scale.

I excused myself and stepped onto the scale like it was no big deal. The guys - I knew, were waiting to see my weight. Not to often girls told their weight to anyone. Here I was getting weighed in front of a group of them.

The trainer looked at me with surprise, then he glanced over at Mr. Richmond. He announced out loud as he had for the previous players, my weight and height - “173 lbs and 5’9.” He motioned for me to step down and scribbled onto his clipboard.

I heard a lot of muttering from the players. I guess they were shocked at my weight as well. However, muscle does weigh more than fat and I was solid. I had less than two percent body fat. Then Coop went up. “192 lbs and 6’1,” the trainer announced. Coop stepped down and walked over to stand beside me.

“I can’t believe that you weighed in at 173 lbs. That just blows my mind.” He continued ”I would never have guessed. I mean you’re smoking hot, you have a wicked body, I can’t believe you weigh that much. That just floors me.”

I shrugged, that was my genius response. I was usually witty with my comments or comebacks. I was fully aware of Mr. Richmond’s presence everywhere I was. I didn’t need to test the waters with my degree in smartassology!

The rest of the day was like Alex had said. Boring, long and I couldn’t wait for it to be over with. The rest of the week at camp was brutal. It consisted of drills, practice and scrimmages. Every day I came back to the hotel sore and in pain. I had taken Alex up on his offer for drives. He was actually a sweet guy. Charming, but somewhat cocky. It was endearing.

The guys didn’t go easy on me during camp, nor did Alex. They slammed me pretty hard into the boards. I seemed to impress them with my speed and puck handling skills. I think for the most part, they were all very impressed with the daily beatings I took. They seemed astounded that I never complained about it. A few of the guys were whiners and complained daily. Not me!

A few of them felt my wrath when I took it upon myself to slam them hard into the boards. I rammed Alex with a clean open ice hit. Boy, did it feel good. The team winced as he thudded to the ice. I said sorry and offered my hand to help him up. He just stared at me for a few seconds, before he took my hand. I knew that hit had to hurt. I think I winded him. I also managed to score a few goals and get several assists in the some of the scrimmage games.

After my first goal Moose skated over to praise me. “You know, only God saves more than Plouffe does, that was a sweet goal.” He chuckled, tapped me on my leg with his stick and skated away.

It was Monday. Time to find out if I made the team or not. I was a nervous wreck. Almost to the point of becoming neurotic my father told me. I didn’t sleep the night before.

Dad admitted to me that he had been at the rink during camp sitting quietly, observing, up in the nosebleed section. He told me that he was impressed and extremely proud of me. He also assured me that if I didn’t make the team, he would help me to work at getting onto another team. I couldn’t believe it. He finally could see that I had talent. It touched my heart more than anything else he had ever said to me.

I took my time walking to the rink today. Kicking the loose stones on the sidewalk as I walked. I told Alex the night before not to pick me up. I just wanted to mentally prepare to be cut. I knew that I had worked hard, but there was a tremendous amount of talent out there on the ice during camp.

I knew there was a strong possibility that the coach would cut me. I told myself that getting cut is a reality for anyone in any kind of competitive sport. If I was getting cut, I needed to remember to ask the coach why he was cutting me. I needed feedback so I could improve, and to thank him for giving me a shot.

I waited patiently outside the coach’s office. Out walked Josh Morgan. He was holding back tears. I guess he got cut. I thought he did really well during camp.

Seeing him like that made my stomach start to turn. I told myself that I put 100 percent into camp. If I got cut then maybe, I just wasn’t good enough. Yet! Coach saw me and motioned for me to come into his office. “Christine, take a seat.”

I sat down. “Coach.” I started before he had the chance to say anything. “Before you tell me whether I have been cut or not, I just have a few things to say to you so I don’t forget.”

At first he grimaced at me, smiled, then nodded his head for me to continue.

“I just wanted to say thank you very much for even giving me this chance to come to your camp and learn from you. The experience has taught me so much. I know it’s not common for a girl to even be invited to camp. I also realize that you have really gone out of your way for me. It means more to me than I can express. If you are going to cut me, please tell me why. I would like some feedback so I know which areas I need to improve on.” I took a deep breath so I could relax a little. I was so tense. Now that I had said my thank yous and stuff, I was ready to receive my bad news.

“Chrissy, it has been a pleasure having you here at camp,” he complimented.

Oh here it was, the sorry but better luck next time speech. I braced myself.

He continued to speak. I shifted in my chair nervously. “The camp tryout process is all just part of the process of putting a team together. It isn’t a question of whether we like you, it’s a question of whether your skills can help the team. It is also about what we, as a development league, can do to help you with your skill development. It’s supposed to be a game. Pressure is the biggest enemy that a player has to deal with in a tryout situation. I could tell you put an immense amount of pressure on yourself.”

He leaned his backside against his desk then he went on. “With that being said, we would like to have you as part of our team. I see how talented you are. I also see the drive you have. You work hard and don’t give up. I like your determination Christine. I don’t know how much ice time I will be able to give you this season, but you will be part of this team, and you will get some. Rookies have to be rotated and share ice time. The older returning players will obviously be the ones who are receiving the most ice time. If this is what you want, then we’d love to have you.” He waited for my response.

I couldn’t respond right away. I was still in shock. I stood up and instead of shaking his hand; I ran towards the desk and hugged him, then quickly let go. “Thank you so much Mr. Killerman. This means the world to me.” I fought back the tears of joy. He laughed.

“Now I would like for you and your father to come see me tomorrow morning at this address.” He handed me a piece of paper. I was still shaking from the news of making the team. “Around 10:00 a.m, so we can discuss living arrangements. You can meet the family that will be billeting you. I know you will love them. They have been family billets for our team for many years and all the players have enjoyed their stay with them.”

He seemed positive I would like my billets. That was comforting to me. Coach was a smart guy, and a great judge of character from what I could tell. I thanked him again and walked out of his office in a daze.

I don’t remember walking back to the hotel, but suddenly I was there. I must have been white as a ghost or something because my father grabbed me and sat me down on the bed.

“Christine are you alright?” He demanded. “Did they cut you? I am so sorry Christine, I know you worked hard out there.”

I shook my head from side to side. “No Dad, I … made the team,” I stammered.

Then suddenly the tears started to flow. It finally hit me. I couldn’t stop them. They flooded my eyes and face like a tidal wave. All my hard work had paid off. I was now on my way to accomplishing my dream.

“Ben wants to meet with us tomorrow and discuss my living arrangements,” I whispered, still not able to catch my breath.

“I guess I will have to get mom to send me up some of my things.” I added.

“You made the team! Congratulations honey. I am so proud of you.” He gave me a big bear hug.

“Thanks Dad,” I said.

“Now you can rub it into your brothers.” He said laughing. I laughed too.

“Christine, you know that we won’t be able to afford to come up to visit you, or to watch your games on television from Dryden. I will want you to keep me updated though. Today let’s go out and buy you one of those little lap computers,” he smiled warmly. “This way you can talk and write to us every day.”

I smiled and wiped the tears from my face. I gave my father a big hug. Finally he was proud of me, and I was getting the chance to do what I always wanted to do.

“It’s alright Dad.” I whispered, my voice still shaky. “Apparently, the rookies don’t get very much ice time during the season.” We both laughed.

“I wonder what my billet family is going to be like? I am excited to meet them.” I was curious. I hoped they would like me.

“Let’s go shopping Chrissy. We can get you some clothes and that computer. I don’t know how long it will take to ship your things up here.” He said, concerned about the fact that I would be so far away but very happy for me still.

“Awe Dad, you hate shopping.” I reminded him. “I don’t mind going clothes shopping myself. How about we go and get the computer, then I will go to the mall and shop alone?”

“Sure thing honey. We have to call your mother first. I promised that we would tell her as soon as we knew anything.”

I was starting to feel a bit less panicked. My breathing evened out. The shock of making the team was settling in. I picked up the phone and called my mother.

My mother was ecstatic for me, but she didn’t hide the fact she was upset that I would be so far away from her and the family. I reminded her that we did play a few games in Michigan. That seemed to comfort her slightly. She promised that the entire family would be there to watch and cheer me on.

We found a computer shop not far from the hotel. Dad bought me a lap top and an IPOD. I knew this was hard for him. My family didn’t have a lot of money. We really couldn’t afford this.

I was even more shocked and thrilled, when he gave me $400.00 to go clothes shopping with. I told him that I didn’t need that much. He assured me it was alright and I deserved it. Maybe it was his way of making up for the years of avoiding having anything to do with my hockey. I wasn’t sure. Regardless, I was happy about the change in him.

I took the public bus to the mall. It was humungous. We just didn’t have malls like this in our small town of 800 people. I was in awe. I didn’t wear designer clothes. I would just wear whatever my mom found for me at the local K-mart or Dunberry’s Sports. I didn’t know where to begin.

I had never heard of many of these stores before. I knew that the guys had to wear suits before and after each game. I figured that I needed something similar. I found a really fancy store and walked up to the sales girl and explained my situation to her.

She looked about twenty-five, and she was very pretty. She seemed to take pity on me. She offered to pick out some outfits for me. She found me a few blouses, some nice fitted dress pants and two blazers. All were on sale.

She showed me how to mix and match them to make more outfits for myself. Then she insisted I buy this tight fitting black cocktail dress. It was $49.00. I told her I didn’t know how to justify spending that amount on just one dress. She talked me into it. Then she asked me if I had shoes. I didn’t even think about shoes until she said it. All I brought with me were several pairs of cross trainers. None of those would look attractive with my dressy outfits.

She told me her shift would be ending in fifteen minutes, and that she would help me find some shoes.

“You’re like a mini make over project for me,” she claimed giggling. She was really enjoying herself. It was nice to have a girl to talk to as well. So I waited patiently for her in the food court.

People were sure friendly in Toronto. Not like some of the big cities in the United States. There the people weren’t rude, they just didn’t go out of their way for you, is all. Also when we watched the news here it wasn’t plagued with scary things, like murders and rapists.

I hated watching the news in Michigan. There were gang shootings and everything. Not in my town, but in the bigger cities. I had been here over a week and I hadn’t seen anything about any murders. It made my father happy to hear that. He always worried more about me in that aspect than he did my brothers. He said it’s a much harder world for a girl. He’s nuts. Guys can become victims just as easily.

The salesgirl Julie showed up at the food court in twenty minutes, instead of the fifteen minutes she had said. I didn’t mind the wait. She told me a little about the city of Toronto as we walked to find a shoe store. It sounded so nice. I had seen very little of the city because of camp. I had been much to exhausted to sight see.

“Oh look at these Chrissy,” she exclaimed with excitement. “They are so cute!”

“They have a heal on them. I will break my neck.” I told her.

“Not after I teach you how to walk in them.” She reassured me.

“Can I ask you a question Julie.” I inquired.

“Shoot!” She said.

“Why are you going out of your way to help me out? I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that you don’t know me.” I questioned her.

“Besides the fact that you seem like such a sweet kid, who is obviously lost in a mall - with no fashion sense whatsoever,” she snickered.

I glanced back over at her, curious as to why she was snickering like that.

“I suppose I am also doing it for selfish reasons,” she admitted.

“Selfish reasons?” I was confused. “Please explain.”

“Well, I really like hockey players. When you said you were playing for the Gophers - well I thought if I helped you out, then maybe you could help me.” She revealed to me.

“Oh, I see, favor for favor.” I teased with a laughing smirk and raising my eyebrow.

“I really think Kyle Schneider is hot, and thought maybe you could introduce me to him.” She smiled and giggled.

“How old are you Julie?” I inquired, because to me she looked about twenty-five. Maybe I had misjudged, because city girls always seemed to look older; on the account of how they dressed.

“I am twenty-one,” she verified for me. Well Moose was twenty, so she was the right age.

“Well, how about once the season starts you come to one of the games. Then I will introduce you to him. It only seems fair.” I conceded.

I really needed the shopping help. I also wasn’t naive to the fact that some of the players on my team were extremely good looking. I could see why she would be interested in Moose. He was a very attractive guy. I even noticed that about him.

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping then she drove me back to my hotel. She gave me her MSN and her cell phone number to call her if I wanted to chat. I explained that I didn’t have a cell phone, but that I would add her to my MSN.

I took out all my new clothes from the plastic bags and hung them up in the tiny closet in the corner of the hotel room. I didn’t want them to get all wrinkled. Dad quickly scanned over the clothes that I bought. He seemed to approve of it all, except the high healed shoes. When he saw those he made a face and grunted. I just smiled. I would probably never wear them any way. He had nothing to worry about I told him.

I felt like going for a run. I threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top. After transferring songs to my IPOD, I was ready to go running. I decided that I would run to the rink and then along the pathway beside it. It was such a nice evening. I also needed to keep my training up.

After my hour long run, I showered and got ready for bed. I couldn’t eat anything. I was far to apprehensive about the morning; meeting my billets and registering for school.

When I woke up in the morning I was starving. I scarfed down three eggs, bacon, toast and a sausage at breakfast with dad. I definitely wasn’t one of those girls who ate like a bird. I loved my food, and I needed to gain a few more pounds in order to add more muscle.

After breakfast I told my father that I wanted to wear something a little nicer to meet my billets. We went back to the hotel so I could change. I put on a new pair of jeans and a plain white blouse. I hoped that my billets were nice people. Ben had said that they had been billeting players for a long time so they must be.

Dad and me drove in the rental car to the address Ben had given us. It was a nice big ranch style bungalow with gray bricks, and a two car garage. The entire area was without a doubt a wealthy area. There was a hockey net, a Mercedes and a Lexus in the drive way. We parked on the road behind what looked like, the coach’s car. I got out of the car slowly, taking in the surroundings. Dad and I walked up to the house together. I reached forward to ring the doorbell. Ben answered the door.

“Well, hello guys, I was hoping you got here before I had to rush out,” he stated. “I have to get to the arena and deal with some scheduling issues. I just wanted to introduce you to the Peats.”

There in the living room was a sweet looking woman in her mid 40’s. Standing beside her was a slightly older looking, husky man.

“Welcome Christine and Ralph.” The woman said with her arms extended to give me a hug. She squeezed me so tight.

“Umm, hi Mrs. Peat.” I managed to struggle out from beneath her bear hug. “Its so nice of you to open up your home to me.”

“Oh, I do it every year for the boys. I am really excited that this season you will be living here. I always wanted a daughter. We are going to become very close Christine. You will love it here.” She grabbed my hand and led me off to show me my bedroom. I could hear Mr. Peat explaining the living arrangements to my father.

“Here is your room Christine.” She opened the door on the left side of the basement family room. “Kyle is in that bedroom,” she said pointing to the room across the hall from mine. “He is gone out to his girlfriend’s for the day. He probably won’t be home until later.”

Inside my bedroom was a double bed, a night table with a lamp, a desk and a dresser. The walls were painted baby blue. It had a huge window that was even with the ground outside. It made the room very bright and warm. I liked it a lot. It was slightly bigger than my room back home.

It surprised me that I was being billeted with one of the guys. However, it made sense that it would be Moose, since he was the team captain. It was probably Ben’s way of keeping his eye on me. I was pretty sure he was explaining just that with Mr. Peat to my father.

Mrs. Peat showed me around the rest of the house and explained the house rules to me and about curfew. When she asked me for my cell phone number, I explained to her that I didn’t have one. We couldn’t afford it. She told me not to worry. She offered that while I was living with them, that I could have one of their extra cell phones. I just had to return it to them before I left at the end of the season. She wanted to make sure that I was safe when I went out. She advised me to call either of them if ever I needed a ride anywhere. They also insisted that I call them Harry and Cathy.

The rest of the afternoon was spent getting to know the Peats and registering me for school. My father left after supper and told me that he would bring my things to the Peat’s house before he left for home in the morning. This way I could say good bye to him. The Peats felt it was best to get me settled in right away. Cathy offered me a pair of her pajamas. I told her no thanks, because I usually just slept in my underwear.

I had registered for school and everything was set. Everything that was, except for me. I felt strange. Odd even. It was weird living in some stranger’s home. Also having such a good looking teammate across the hall from me didn’t help.

I was trying to adjust to new surroundings. It was weird for me to be in the basement. It was like an apartment down here. It had a bar with a fridge, pool table, living room set, big screen television with surround sound; and a full bathroom with a whirlpool bath tub and a sauna.

Moose came home around 9:00 p.m. that night and flopped on the couch and yelled at me to come join him.

I walked out of my room to join him in the living room part of our mini apartment.

“So roomie, how are you doing?” He was slurring his words. It seemed to me that he had been drinking a little. He patted the couch for me to sit down beside him.

“I guess I’m fine.” I said getting more comfortable on the couch. “It’s all still very overwhelming, a lot to take in.” I admitted to him and partly to myself.

“Yeah, it takes a while, my first year here, I was really homesick.” He started flipping through channels until he found Sports Center. “I think you will be fine, but I am here for you if you need anything.”

I told him about the girl Julie I met and how she helped me out at the mall. I explained about the favor she had asked from me. He chuckled loudly.

“Maybe I need to explain a few things to you about puck bunnies,” he said. “It’s kind of like talking to your parents about the birds and the bees.” He bellowed out a huge laugh.

“Umm, Moose.... I never had that talk with my parents, and I really don’t want to have it with my teammate either.” I said with my face turning red from embarrassment.

“Like it or not we are going to have it. I have a little sister, and I am a guy. Hockey player’s are the nastiest, dirtiest, and cockiest guys around. Trust me I should know,” he explained. “Some girls, we call them puck bunnies; they will do anything to sleep with a hockey player. They become stalkers. It’s really creepy.” He continued with the warning. “You have to be careful who you become friends with, it’s hard to know which are the friends who like you for you, or the ones who like you because of what you do,” he explained.

“Well, I suppose at least she was honest with me about it.” I smiled and turned to watch the television. “You could at least say hi to her, she did help me out.” I laughed.

“Sure, no problem, is she hot?” He said with his grin full of mischief.

“She was definitely a pretty girl.” I admitted.

“I’ll meet her then, just don’t tell my girlfriend. She gets jealous really easy.” He groaned. “You will meet her tomorrow.”

We talked all through Sports Center about what to expect from the guys. What to keep my mouth shut about. He reassured me that if I felt bad about anything, I could talk to him about it. He asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that the boys back home thought I was weird because I played hockey, he was surprised. He assured me it was just small town mentality, and that most guys who were sure of themselves wouldn’t feel threatened by that. He was shocked to find out that I had never been on a date or even been kissed. Moose and me seemed to get along great. He made me feel really comfortable.

He seemed to like teasing me. I was used to that on the account of my brothers. I told him I was going to bed, and I would see him in the morning. He was staying up to watch some television and surf the internet.

I pulled off my blouse to get ready for bed. I had a tank top underneath and booty shorts. Pretty much my usual sleeping outfit. I crawled into bed. The duvet was so fluffy and comfy. I fell straight to sleep.

I must have had a nightmare, because I jolted up, covered in sweat. I was trembling. Moose ran into my bedroom unexpectedly and I screamed.

He quickly covered my mouth with his hand. “You’re going to wake the neighborhood up Chrissy,” he whispered then removed his hand from my mouth.

“Are you OK? I heard you yelling from my bedroom,” he explained. Now I understood why he was in my room.

“Yeah, I must have had a bad dream. but I have no idea what it was about.” I concluded.

“I’ll go get you a glass of water,” and with that said he was out the door. When he returned he had a glass of water and flipped on the night light on the side table.

He crawled into the far side of my bed with me. “Tell me what’s stressing you out. I don’t want you having nightmares Hun.” He got comfortable in my bed under my duvet. What a guy!

I laughed at his cockiness. “I see you’ve made yourself right at home in my bed.” I hit him with my pillow. He chuckled.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little of everything. I don’t remember what I was dreaming about so it must not be that bad.” I assured him as I laid down beside him.

He started telling me about his rookie year. How it was hard for him to be away from home because he was such a momma’s boy. That made me laugh. It was nice to listen to someone who had been through all this before. I guess we both fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning he had drooled all over my pillow.

“Ewe, gross Moose, go drool on your own pillow.” I said, as I rolled him off my bed onto the floor.

He didn’t move, he just groaned and started snoring again. I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I was very comfortable around Moose. I didn’t even notice that I was only wearing my underwear and tank top. When I walked back into my bedroom, he was just sitting up.

Quickly he covered his eyes and yelled, “For the love of God, put some clothes on Chris.” Then he buried his head into the pillow. I think he mumbled, “tell me when it’s safe to look.” I laughed.

I threw on my sweats and said “Safe.”

“You can’t walk around here like that Christine. Your body is smoking hot, and you are my teammate.” He explained as he rolled over to get up off the floor.

He hurried out of my room as I yelled after him. “Then sleep in your own bed from now on loser.” I giggled and shut my bedroom door.

It was quiet in the house. The Peats had left for work hours earlier. I had nothing to do today. I wasn’t going to start my classes until the following day with the rest of the players. Camp had brought us to the second week of September. The rest of the students had started last week. I ate some breakfast, then knocked on Moose’s bedroom door.

“Come in,” he called out. He had gone back to sleep.

“What a lazy bum. Get up come running with me, I am bored.” I encouraged him.

He looked at me like what I just asked him was torture. He growled something under his breath and then said. “Give me fifteen minutes and I will come with you.”

I retreated back out to our living room area and stretched out on the couch. He finally emerged from his room. “You’re going to kill me you know,” he said. “I hate running, I would much rather go to the gym.”

“Hey running makes you a faster skater Moose, stop procrastinating and get a move on.” I cheered “Goooooo Moose!”

He chuckled and we walked out of the house. He showed me good places to run around the area. He informed me that this would probably be the only time I would be able to persuade him to run with me. When we got back he offered me the shower first. I was happy about that. Toronto is a very hot and humid city. I couldn’t wait for the colder whether to come. It was September; and I couldn’t understand why it was still so hot here. I wasn’t used to feeling sticky and sweaty like this. Moose told me it’s called an Indian summer or something like that.

I told Moose, “the next person who says, it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity - will learn that it’s not my fist, but the impact.” He held his stomach, he was laughing so hard.

I took my time in the shower, figuring Moose had probably gone back to bed. When I emerged from the bathroom, I walked right into a pretty petite brunette. She startled me. I assumed it was Moose’s girlfriend. He had mentioned she would be coming over.

“Hi Chrissy, I am Lena,” she introduced herself. “It’s so nice to meet you, come sit with me, lets talk and get to know each other.”

I put my things back into my bedroom and went to the couch to sit with her. She told me how her and Moose had met. They had been dating for two years now. She said that she hated it when the season was over, and he had to go back home. It was hard for her. She also mentioned she hated when he was gone on road trips. This getting to know me, had turned into a getting to know her whining fest. I got the feeling she was hoping that maybe I would spy on him for her. That was something I was not about to do. The last thing I needed was to make waves for myself. I just humored her.

Lena, joined the Peats, Moose and myself for dinner. I was glad when she left that night. She was starting to give me a headache.

“Lena’s nice, but man can she talk a lot. No wonder you two hit it off so well,” I teased Moose.

“Yeah, she’s something isn’t she.” He stated. “I don’t really know about us, it seems to be going no where fast.” He was sitting on the couch flipping through the channels on the television. “I think our relationship is just a matter of convenience for me when I am in town. I don’t really see a future but at least for now she keeps me focused,” he added.

I eyed him coldly. “Using people is not a good thing Moose. Maybe it would be best if you were honest with her. Sure it might hurt her, but finding out later will make it worse.” I sat down beside him.

“I know you’re right, it’s just that when I try to end it she starts with the crying and I can’t deal with that shit.” He admitted to me.

“Still, it would be for the best.” I said judgmentally. He tried to change the subject.

“What’s up with you and Alex?” He questioned me. I could tell the way he said it there was more to that question then he meant for me to realize.

“Nothing, he’s a nice guy.” I shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

“I just thought since I look at you like a little sister that I should be honest with you,” he warned me. “He’s a big player, kind of a dirtball.”

I sighed, “Moose, I am not interested in guys so you don’t have to worry.”

“Not interested in guys? You mean you like girls?” He said with his eyes full of wild accusations.

“What? No!” I said icily. “I meant that I don’t have time for guys. I need to focus on hockey and school.”

“Ha Ha, sorry Chris, the way you answered just caught me off guard.” He hung his head guilty. Then looked up at me. “I am glad that you’re focusing, guys are assholes, trust me on this one,” he smirked.

“I know. I do have two brothers. I have also heard things since I have been here, around the rink.” I said frigidly. “Why do you guys do that crap, use girls like that? It’s like it’s some huge ego boosting competition between all of you; like you have to pee on everything. I am boy – hear me roar, and pound your chest. How many girls can I bang this week. It’s so... ugh.” I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

“It’s a guy thing I guess. We aren’t all proud of it.” He said with his voice guarded. “I did a lot of bad shit in my first few years, but now I am starting to look at things a little more seriously.”

“Well, that’s good, because I believe in karma. Shit like that will come back to bite you,” I assured him.

“Are you excited for school tomorrow?” He asked changing the subject again on me.

“Actually, I am. This school offers so many more courses than back home. I am kind of a nerd, I suppose when it comes to school. I just hope I will fit in with the kids here,” I whispered sounding vulnerable.

“Just remember some people will try and be your friend because of what you do, not who you are,” he warned me again. “Keep that in mind and be careful what you tell people. Some girls can turn into crazy psycho stalkers.”

“I will. I’m going to bed. I have an early day tomorrow.” I told him. “We can’t all just lay around on the couch all day playing Xbox,” I jeered. “When do you start your university classes? Next week?” I asked.

He shot me a mean look because of the Xbox comment. “Yeah... and goodnight pest.”

I crawled into bed wondering what tomorrow would really be like. Moose was right. There were probably lots of girls who would try to be my friend once they found out I played for the Gophers. Many just wanted to get to the guys. I would have to have my guard up, but yet not come across as a frigid bitch.

I woke up to Moose shaking me. “Chrissy, what’s wrong?” I didn’t know what he was talking about I was still half a sleep.

“What are you talking about Moose? Do you enjoy waking me up every night or something?” I said not trying to hide my irritation.

“No, you were yelling in your sleep again; it wakes me up.” He persisted with the interrogation. “What’s with all the nightmares you’re having?”

“I was yelling?” I asked. “I don’t have any clue what my dream was about.”

“Maybe you’re stressed out or something?” He asked concerned. I didn’t have an answer for him. “Try to relax a little.”

“Yeah, sorry for waking you up.” I said apologetically.

“No worries, good night I’m going back to bed.” He hurried out of my room.

I wondered why I was having these bad dreams that I couldn’t remember. It wasn’t like me to yell or talk in my sleep. I wasn’t even a big snorer. Maybe subconsciously, I had been more stressed than I realized. I would be sure to try and not let things build up. I also didn’t want these dreams waking Moose up nightly. He would start to get mad at me for it eventually. I needed to learn to relax a little more.

Taking it Day, by Day

I woke up feeling like I wanted to crawl back into bed. I obviously didn’t sleep well. I noticed that my duvet was on the floor. I must have kicked it off during the night.

I showered, then walked upstairs to the quiet kitchen. The Peats were never home. There was always a dinner prepared for Moose and I to shove into the oven. They seemed like very busy people. It was kind of nice to have the extra privacy. It made me feel like I was living on my own. I poured a bowl of cereal, cut up a banana and threw some bread into the toaster.

After I ate all my breakfast; I washed my dishes and went back downstairs. I brushed my teeth, then threw my hair up into a ponytail. I grabbed my book bag and threw it over my shoulder. The school was only about half a mile from the house. It wasn’t a bad walk.

I wondered if any of the guys from my team would be in any of my classes. I doubted it. I was in mostly gifted classes, with the exception of three. I was told it would be tougher to take the gifted program and play, but I didn’t care.

School was important. What if something happened and I couldn’t play anymore. I would need my education to get a good job. Not only that; if I did play, what about after? When I was too old to play, but still to young to retire. I would need to find a good job then. I knew the importance of my education. I was also very relieved when back in Dryden, Ben had explained the college and university programs.

When I got to the school, I noticed that most of the girls looked very trendy. Some were wearing dresses or skirts, and high heels. I was just in my jeans and a gray t-shirt. The gray almost made my face look a little washed out.

Hmm, I better think about adding to my wardrobe if I was going to fit in at this school. The parking lot was full of expensive looking cars. I knew that in the area I was living, the homes were extremely big. I guessed most people around here were pretty well off financially. There’s no way my parents would even be able to afford buying me a beater car. These kids were showing up in Beamers and Corvettes.

I managed to find my homeroom class. I didn’t recognize anyone from my team. I was kind of hoping that I would know someone. Then I wondered if the guys would treat me different at school. Maybe they wouldn’t want to admit they knew me outside of the rink. I had heard a few of them bitching and complaining about me making the team. I also heard the coach giving them shit. I didn’t need friends. I had my hockey and that was enough for me.

The morning seemed to pass very slowly. I had already read most of the books they were asking us to read for English class. In Math, I was lost. It never was my best subject. I would probably have to get a tutor to help me with Math. Finally it was lunch time.

I decided that I would buy something in the cafeteria today, instead of walking home for lunch. I paid for my sandwich, drink and apple; then scanned the cafeteria. I noticed a few players from my team surrounded by a group of girls, but they didn’t seem to acknowledge me. I found an empty table and sat by myself.

Five minutes had passed when this homely looking girl approached my table. She stood in front of me awkwardly swaying from side to side.

“Hi, I am Lauren. Do you mind if I sit down?” She inquired. I nodded and motioned for her to sit. She sat down across from me.

“I’m Chrissy.” I said smiling. “Nice to meet you.”

“Are you new to the area?” She asked me shyly. I nodded. “I usually sit alone. I am kind of a book worm,” she added. “My mom calls me anti-social. The only reason I asked to sit here was because this is my usual table.”

“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “I didn’t mean to claim it.”

“No it’s fine. As long as you don’t mind being a social outcast,” she told me. “I don’t really have friends here. Not that I don’t want friends, I am usually just too shy. I keep to myself.”

“Well, to be honest I don’t mind at all.” I explained. “I am kind of a nerd as well. I like school. Some of my friends back in Dryden, Michigan used to tease me about it.”

“If you like, you can sit with me whenever you wish to,” she offered. “You seem like a pleasant girl. Are you a Junior?” She looked me over.

“No, I am a sophomore. I am only sixteen.” I told her.

“Me too! You look a lot older. I thought you were eighteen or something.” She confessed.

“Thanks, I think it’s because of my height.” I admitted. “So, what do you do when you’re not studying?”

“I bicycle, or walk. Sometimes I read, but other than that I don’t do much else.” She squeaked in her mousy voice.

“I run every night. I don’t have a bicycle here, but if you ever want to try running you are welcome to join me. I find it helps me to keep focused at school as well. All the endorphins you know.” I smiled warmly.

She suddenly had a shocked expression on her face and buried her nose into the book in front of her. I looked over my shoulder and noticed Alex approaching our table.

“Hey beautiful,” he said teasingly. “How was your morning?” Then he sat down at the table with us. I was surprised to see him at the school. I knew that he had already graduated.

“It was alright.” I answered. “Yours?” I decided to ask him about why he was there. ”What brings you here today?”

“It wasn’t bad. I’m leaving after lunch. I just came by to get my school papers, there was a mix up with something for my online university courses.” He informed me. “Who’s your friend?” He asked curiously.

“This is Lauren.” She looked up when I said her name. She smiled shyly.

He smiled back at her. “Hi Lauren, I’m Alex.” As he spoke she nodded and buried her head back into her book.

He turned back towards me. “Do you want to hang out tonight Christine? Maybe go out for dinner or a movie?”

“Err... thanks Alex, but I can’t. I have homework, and I promised Mrs. Peat I would spend some time with her this evening. She wants to do some bonding.” I laughed.

He looked disappointed. “Alright, some other time,” he said. “I’ll see you later gator.” He smiled, then got up from the table. What a cheesy comment. Especially coming from him. Although it made me laugh.

Lauren watched him walk away. Her jaw hanging open. “Holy crap!” She exclaimed with a mixture of shock and excitement. “He’s the cutest boy I have ever seen.” She looked confused. “How do you know him?”

“He’s my teammate. I play hockey for the Gophers.” I told her. I didn’t get the feeling that she was one of those puck bunnies that Moose was telling me about.

“Wow, I would never have enough nerve to play anything with a bunch of guys.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t even speak to Alex just now.” She seemed embarrassed by this fact, and thrilled to use his name in conversation. That amused me. I knew the effect he had on me, I could just imagine the effect he had on her.

“He’s cute. My roommate told me he’s a player, treats girls bad after he gets what he wants from them.” I told her.

“Oh! I guess most guys are like that,” she said. “I wouldn’t know though, because they never speak to me.” She looked down at her hands suddenly nervous about confessing that to me.

“Well trust me, most aren’t worth speaking to.” I assured her.

Then the bell sounded and I had to get to class. I said good bye to her, and told her I was happy to meet her. We exchanged MSN’s. She told me that she would add me on Facebook later that day.

So far none of my teammates had been in any of my classes. I was late getting into my History class, and there was only one seat left. It was in front of one of my teammates; Joe Sim another rookie.

He was a jerk from what I could tell. I hadn’t really spoken much to him. He was one of the guys complaining about me being on the team.

When I took the seat in front of him, he kicked the back of my chair. I turned and glared at him. He snickered. I looked back towards the front of the class. Throughout the hour he randomly would kick the back of my chair. I was extremely annoyed by him. If I could, I would have smacked him upside his head right there.

The last kick, his foot slid through the back of my chair and hit my lower back. I had had enough of his taunting.

I turned to him and forcefully, but quietly whispered. “You kick my chair one more time, I will cold clock you. Two hits – me hitting you – you hitting the floor!” I was pissed off now.

He laughed out loud, and the teacher glared at him. Then he tapped my shoulder for me to turn around. He spoke with a cutting tone. “You are a waste of a roster spot. Josh Morgan was cut because of you.” He snapped at me. “You’re not good enough. I don’t know who you blew to get that roster spot, but enjoy it while you can. It won’t be long before every one sees you don’t belong on the ice with us.”

“You better grow eyes in the back of your head during practice you dick.” I fumed. I ignored him for the rest of the period.

Great! I had to sit in front of him all year. I was going to make him pay for what he said to me. He had some nerve. Just because he was drafted in the first round of the OHL draft, and had a contract - he thought he was God’s gift to hockey. I would show him.

When I got home, Moose was playing Xbox. I shook my head and took a seat beside him on the couch.

“Mind if I do my homework here? Or is it going to interrupt your precious Call of Duty?” I grumbled.

“Hellsss no, go for it.” He offered. “How was your first day, Miss crabby pants?”

“Fine!” I said.

“Fine?” He raised his eyebrow with suspicion. “I know you a little better than that. What exactly was FINE about it?”

“Joe Sim,” I informed him. ”I swear he has a stick stuck up his ass,” I threatened. “If he doesn’t watch himself with me, I’m going to make sure it’s so far up there that it comes out his nostrils.”

He burst out laughing. “Chill on violence Chris. Want me to talk to him?”

“No, don’t you dare.” I said firmly. “I will handle him myself. I don’t want you to go around fighting my battles for me. It’s hard enough trying to fit in without the guys thinking that I whine.” I sneered at him.

“Alright, but if it gets to be to much you better tell me.” He asserted. He was the team captain, and it was part of his job to make sure all of us tried to get along - for the team’s sake.

When Cathy got home from work, we went out for dinner. She had wanted to spend some time getting to know me. We talked about what it was like for me growing up in a small town, and playing hockey. She told me that she had one son. He was married and had one kid. She never got to see him, because he lived with his wife’s family on the east coast.

Apparently, they had the kid when he was fifteen and his girlfriend was sixteen. They married because it was the right thing to do. She wished she could see them more. She told me how excited she was that I was living there and made me promise that her and I would have lots of bonding days, as many as we could. She was a very nice woman, pleasant and kind. I liked her a lot.

The day felt long to me. I was tired. I couldn’t wait to crawl into bed. Thankfully, I didn’t have any nightmares that woke Moose up that night.

Meet and Greet

This week we had our first ‘Meet & Greet’. I was told it was for the season ticket holders. It was a way for the fans to meet the new players, and say welcome back to the returning ones. It would be held inside the west end of the arena, after our Wednesday night practice.

Moose told me it was kind of fun, and not to worry about it. It was nice to sit and sign autographs for the fans. It showed the team that they were appreciated.

I was still apprehensive for it. I wondered what the fans would think of me. They hadn’t gotten a chance to see me play yet. I hadn’t been able to prove myself to them. I was concerned what they would think when they saw me sitting amongst my teammates, sticking out like a sore thumb. The only girl.

The newspaper had written an article about me the week of training camp. I felt it didn’t paint the full picture. In the article it said that I was a very skilled player, and worked hard during the training camp. The writer of the article still didn’t feel the OHL was the right place for a girl though. I hoped the fans wouldn’t see it the same way.

After practice that Wednesday, we all showered and changed into our street clothes. We were given our new team jersey’s and put them on. I was lucky enough to get my lucky number 16. Same number Toby Chalke wore when he played for Philadelphia.

We walked into the room one by one, as the MC for the dinner announced us. Most players received loud claps and cheers. When my name and number was called, the cheers and claps were no where near as loud as they were for the other players. I took my seat at the long table between Josh Fuller and Chris Brantford.

I was told it was the team booster club that had arranged this dinner. I thought that was a nice thing for them to do for the fans, and for us. The fans were still eating their dinner and watching us closely. I received a few dirty looks from several girls around my age. They must be puck bunnies, I thought to myself. The team owner got up and made a nice ten minute speech.

He talked about what he expected for the season. He mentioned that he was fully supportive of having me as a player on his team. He hoped that it would inspire other young female players. He also mentioned that I showed great promise. He spoke about how Ben Killerman was a great judge of talent. That seemed to get claps. Then Ben got up and introduced his coaching staff and team trainers. He gave a three minute speech and after that, the fans were invited up to get our autographs and take photographs of us.

It was enjoyable. I liked meeting the fans young and old. Some of the young girls were inspired to see a girl on the team. That put me in high spirits for the rest of the evening, even with the dirty looks some of the puck bunnies were giving me.

My wrist was sore by the end of the evening. I had signed so many photos, papers, books, programs and jerseys. My eyes were readjusting to the lighting after all the pictures of us were taken.

Coach had mentioned before hand that our team did an awful lot of charity work as well, so we had all better get used to making public appearances. He felt it was extremely important for all of us to give back to the community which supported us. I had to agree. I was looking forward to the charity work and going to the schools to talk to the kids. I knew it came with the territory. When you put on a OHL jersey, or any CHL jersey for that matter; you need to take that responsibility seriously. You suddenly become a role model for kids.

The meet & greet finished by 10:00 p.m. Some of the players were going out to the bars. None of them invited me of course. That was alright with me. I wouldn’t have went with them. I wasn’t of age to get into the bars. Although the drinking age here was a lot younger than where I was from. In the U.S. the age is twenty-one, here it was only nineteen.

I went back to my billet’s house and wrote my parents an email about the event that had just transpired. Then I decided to read a book before curling up to sleep. I had a rough sleep. I must have tossed and turned throughout the night. When I woke up in the morning, all my blankets and pillows were scattered around the room. I chuckled to myself when I saw the mess.

We had no practice today, but tomorrow it would be at 6:00 a.m. Today I would focus on school and make sure I got all my homework done. I was trying really hard to make sure I was able to keep my grades up. It was a lot harder than I imagined it would be to find the time for studying. I still didn’t have much of a social life. Between hockey, school and working out, I didn’t see how I could maintain a social life - even if I wanted one.

Halfway through my usual two-hour studying session, is when I started to daydream. I was thinking about Alex. There was something about him. The way he smiled at me. The way he spoke. The way he smelled. Even after a two hour practice he smelt good to me. Sweaty but musky. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I knew I shouldn’t be. He was my teammate. I was here to play hockey, not get a boyfriend. However, he seemed to consume my thoughts.

Why did he have to be on my team? He probably didn’t think I was pretty either. Mom always said I was beautiful, but she was my mother. Didn’t she have to tell me things like that?

I was pretty sure Alex was flirting with me all the time, but maybe I was only seeing it because I wanted to see it? I had to forget about him.

I knew what I wanted out of my life – hockey!

It was hard for me to imagine my world without it. I knew I had to take any feelings I had for Alex and lock them away. Nothing, I would allow nothing to stand in my way of hockey.

Standing My Ground

The next morning coach had called a 6:00 a.m. practice. After practice I would have to rush to school. The team had an arrangement with the school, because we had to miss so much of it for games and practices. However, that didn’t mean we could let our grades slip. The team took our marks in school seriously.

Practice was backbreaking. Coach worked us hard. Joe Sim, of course, seemed to be giving me a hard time as usual. Moose and coach noticed. However, they didn’t do or say anything. I figured they were waiting to see how I handled it myself.

After the third time Joe drilled me into the boards, I was pissed. I saw him coming at me again out of the corner of my eye. I raised my elbow and nailed him in the face.

“What the hell was that for?” He snapped at me.

“Hey it’s not my fault that you ran into my elbow with your chin.” I hissed.

“ Bookmark!” He muffled under his breath. (a bookmark as far as I knew, was the player who always stayed on the bench during games, basically separating the forwards and the defense) I was fuming mad.

“Yeah, you’re real tough for a guy who’s dick doesn’t touch his underwear.” I hollered loud for all to hear and skated away.

I saw coach, Moose and several of the other guys snickering. If I was going to fit in with this team, I better start dishing out the chirps.

Coach called us all in after the practice to talk about the preseason games, and what to expect. He informed us that we would have a team dinner in two days. After the dinner I knew there was a rookie party planned by the guys.

I was nervous about going. Moose had told me some of the things that happens at the rookie parties and it had shocked me. Moose had promised me that he would not drink during the party and take care of me. Many of the players were not happy at all that I would be attending the rookie party. They were upset that they had to leave out some of the things they would normally do to embarrass the guys.

After practice I returned to school and went to all my classes. I was dreading history with Joe. He was probably still mad at me for what had transpired during morning practice.

I walked into class and took my seat. I arrived before he did. He scowled at me as he passed me to take his seat. He ignored me through the entire class. Not one kick to the back of my chair.

Every so often I heard him mumble under his breath. I assumed it was insults directed towards me. He was too quiet. I couldn’t make it out. Maybe he would stay off my back, now that I had stood my ground with him.

When I got home after school, I took advantage of the empty house and did all my homework. I emailed my family to let them know how things were going. I made it sound like I had no time for anything except hockey and school. I didn’t want them worrying about me going out and partying. I told them how much I enjoyed my dinner bonding with Cathy Peat. That would make my mother feel good, since she couldn’t be here with me. I hit send and walked up to the kitchen. I grabbed some munchies to tied me over until dinner.

I decided on a bag of chips and flopped on the couch. I really should have gone running, but I just wasn’t feeling it today. I turned on a movie and fell asleep on the couch.

Next thing I knew, I woke up to someone sitting on me, plugging my nose and mouth. I rocked awake and pushed the person off. It was Myles.

“Get off me fatass!” I snarled.

“That’s what you get for hogging the couch,” he joked. “Scoot over, Sweetie.”

I sat up and noticed that about five of my teammates were gathered around the pool table. Moose had mentioned that sometimes the guys hung out at the Peat’s home. I suppose I would have to get use to it. I was feeling very tired still, so I excused myself and went into my room. I heard Myles ask Moose what was wrong with me.

“I think that she’s just tired. She hasn’t been sleeping well,” he explained. “I think she’s starting to feel the stress and the home sickness.” It was nice of Moose to cover for me. I think he knew there was more to it than that.

“Awe, that sucks. She seems like a good kid. It’s just weird having a girl on the team.” I heard Brett Welsh (Wellie) say from the other room.

“I think she’s actually pretty cool, and smokin’ hot; you have to admit she has a rockin’ body. She seems to know when and how to stand up for herself.” Myles mused. “Did you see her today with Sim?”

I heard them all laugh “That was brutal.” Moose agreed.

“Yeah that was gut splitting. I have to agree with Coop, she is hot.” Welsh chimed in.

“Guys, back off. She’s our teammate. That means we need to treat her with respect. You can’t be thinking about her in that way. She’s not one of the girls who you just hook up with,” I heard Moose explaining to them.

“Whoah! A little touchy there Moose! You’re not trying to hit that ass are ya?” Welsh jeered.

“You know I’m not Wellie. She’s like a little sister”. Moose answered.

“We know that Moose.” Myles shot back. “It’s just she’s gorgeous, definitely a 10. It’s hard not to notice. You weren’t at the weigh in with her, I was. I know for fact her body is amazing.”

I was thinking Myles needed to have his head examined if he thought I was a 10.

I must have fallen asleep shortly after that. I didn’t remember hearing more of their conversation. No one woke me up for dinner either, so I slept right threw the night. Again no yelling or screaming. Thank God!

School the next day was uneventful. That is until in History when the teacher forced us into pairs for a special project. Of course, she paired Joe with me, because she knew that we both played for the Gophers. She must have figured it would be best if he and I worked together. If she only knew how bad of an idea that was going to be. Lovely!

I looked at Joe, and he looked as upset as I was about this pairing.

“Joe, let’s just get this project over with as fast as we can.” I suggested. He agreed nodding his head. “Why don’t you come over to my place after school and we can work on it until we get it finished. This way it’s only one night that we have to deal with each other.”

“Fine by me,” he said. “Meet me in front of the school by the sidewalk after your last class.”

I was late leaving my last class. The teacher wanted to finish assigning us our homework.” I noticed Joe’s demeanor as I approached. He seemed to be in a slightly better mood.

“How do you like your billets?” He questioned me curiously.

“My billets are awesome. They are never home. Moose and I pretty much do whatever we want. How about yours?” I inquired.

“I don’t like my billets at all.” He informed me. “I don’t have a roommate either.”

“Awe Joe, I’m sorry that you don’t like your billets.” I said sincerely. “I would hate to be in that situation. What is it that you don’t like about them?”

“They hover around me all the time. They are so intrusive. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells living there,” he ranted “Coach told me they are new to billeting, but I just hate living there.”

“Joe, you need to talk to Coach about this. Is that why you always seem so pissed off, because of these billets?” I asked. He shrugged.

“Well, for tonight at least you can chill at my place. We can get this project finished and then if you want to hang around for dinner and just watch a movie or something that’s fine.” I offered.

“Cool, thanks Chrissy.” He said as we walked to my billet’s house in silence.

Every so often it looked like Joe wanted to say something, then he would just stop. It made me smile. He seemed just as insecure about things as I did. It was almost comforting. Maybe I had Joe all wrong? He just seemed lost and lonely. Maybe it was just as hard of an adjustment on him as it was me? I should learn to be more sympathetic towards him. At least I had Moose to turn to. He was like the big brother I didn’t have and always wanted. He seemed to really get me.

As usual no one was at the Peat’s home when we arrived. I showed Joe around. He was jealous of the set up we had here. At his billet’s he just had a room and no real privacy he told me. We started working on the project right away and we were finished it in just over an hour.

I heard Moose come bouncing through the door throwing his bag down the stairs. I heard the slamming of the fridge door from inside the kitchen. He came downstairs with a sandwich and coke, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Joe Sim sitting on the couch with me.

He chuckled under his breath and said “What’s up Schmelt?” He was looking at Joe.

Joe shrugged,“history project.” Joe seemed uncomfortable around Moose. I wondered why? Maybe Joe was really just an insecure guy and that’s why he picked on me?

“Hey Moose, do you know of players who didn’t get along with their billets? What should a player do in that case?” I asked without thinking. I saw Joe shoot me an evil look. “No Worries Joe, Moose isn’t going to say shit to the guys.” I assured him.

“That’s shitty Joe, usually they just suck it up and hang out at other player’s places. What’s the issue with your billets?” He asked Joe.

“No privacy, hovering, can’t take a shit without telling them what I’m doing.” He groaned “It’s like being in prison there or something.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to coach for you, maybe he can speak with your billets. I know they are fairly new to billeting players; it happens every season with at least one player and new billets.”

He squeezed onto the couch between Joe and myself. “So what are we watching?”

“Nothing really, you can put whatever you want on. Joe you’re welcome to stay and hang out here for a while. I know you don’t really want to go home, but I am going to go for a quick run,” I informed him. I was hoping maybe he would confide in Moose a little more about his living situation if I left them alone.

“Hey, do you mind if I run with you?” He queried. That shocked me, but I always welcomed the company. I saw Moose raise his eyebrow in disbelieve and curiosity. Moose was already starting to get vigilant over me with the guys. He shot me a look as if to let him know if this is what I really wanted. So protective, it was adorable.

“Sure.” I smiled so Moose would know it was fine. I gathered my books up to put them into my room and I changed into my sweats.

“I’m ready, are you?” I asked Joe.

“Yup.” He told me and out the door we went.

Joe was not a very talkative guy, kind of a loner. The run was silent for the most part. He couldn’t keep up with me. I had to slow down my pace.

I decided to confront Joe about why he had issues with me. “Joe, what is it that bugs you about me? You seem to have some kind of issue with me.” I tested the waters with that question to see if my first instincts were correct or not.

“It’s not that I don’t like you Chrissy.” He paused for a minute. “It’s just that Josh Morgan and me are good friends. I felt bad he got cut. You were a girl and still here. It bothered me.” He looked down at the ground as he ran. I didn’t say anything. He added “Then with living in this prison with my billets. You kind of became an easy target for my frustrations.”

I didn’t say anything. I figured it was for the best. Maybe he would open up more this way. I just smiled warmly and kept running.

A few minutes past and then he spoke again. “You really are a good player Chrissy. I didn’t think a girl could play so well. You also get along with all the guys, and well... it’s harder for me. I don’t have boobs.” He jeered.

“Joe, my boobs have nothing to do with me getting along with some of the guys.” I glared at him with hard eyes. “I get along with the guys because I am myself with them.”

“Don’t kid yourself Chrissy. They all think you’re hot and would love to hook up with you.” He shot back at me.

“That’s kind of insulting to me Joe. That you would think the only reason the guys talk to me is because they want to have sex with me.” I was really hurt by his words.

“Well, no that’s not the only reason, but it helps that they like you in that way.” He explained.

“How the hell does that help me. I want them to think of me as one of the guys. Hockey is my life Joe. Without hockey I would be lost.” I was clearly upset.

“Sorry, I am making things worse for you. Forget I brought it up. You are a good player. I promise from now on I will treat you like one of the guys.” He smiled at me.

We were silent after that. Then Joe said he had to head back to his billets. The conversation we had on the run really bothered me. I figured it was best if I just pretended we never had it. I chalked it all up to Joe just being frustrated and wanting to make someone else - me, feel bad.

Moose told me that he had called the coach and coach had promised to speak with Joe’s billets. I was glad to hear that. Maybe then Joe would stop acting like such an angry jerk to me.

After dinner Cathy told me she would like to spend the next day with me. We had the team dinner and she wanted to take me shopping to get an outfit and my hair done. That was something I didn’t even do with my own mom.

I complained to Moose later that evening. Moose told me to suck it up. That it would do me some good to be a girl for once. Great! Maybe Moose thought of me as a tomboy? Maybe that’s why the question about me liking girls popped into his head that first day? Maybe I did need some girly girl time with Mrs. Peat? It contradicted what Joe had said on our run. He said they all wanted to jump my bones. Moose was telling me I needed to be a girl for once. It didn’t sound like he wanted sex from me.

“Moose, what do you think of me?” I gulped not sure I wanted to hear his response.

“Whoa, where did that come from?” He quipped as if he thought I was making accusations.

“I am just curious as to what you really think of me. Please be honest. I won’t get upset. I promise?” I rephrased the question.

“Well, I think you’re talented, smart, funny and beautiful. I see you as a little sister.” He confessed. “Why are you asking?”

“Something Joe said on the run.” I fretted.

“What did he say?” He asked curious.

“Just that all the guys have accepted me on the team because they all want to screw me.” I was clearly upset about it. “He wasn’t mean about it. He just said it was easier for me than him because I had boobs. Then he said I was blind to the fact that most of the guys want to sleep with me.”

“I’m not going to lie to you Chris.” Moose said. “Many of the guys would love to be with you in that way. You don’t see yourself clearly at all. You’re a beautiful girl. You just don’t do anything with yourself. Maybe that’s why you can’t see it. I was even guilty of that in the beginning with you. Not anymore, now I see you as a sister.” He divulged to me.

“Thanks for being honest with me Moose.” I gave him a big hug.

That night Moose was in my room again waking me up telling me to shut the hell up. “Why can’t I ever remember my dream when you wake me up like that?” I asked him.

“Maybe you’re crazy. Do you want me to call the guys in the white coats?” He surmised.

“I’m not crazy, but I suspect the voices in my head are.” I hit him with my pillow and told him to go back to bed.

He was right though. It was weird. It must be the stress. Maybe I should talk to the team trainer and he might be able to suggest something to help me relax. A new exercise or something to relieve the stress. Anything was better than the way Moose handled his stress. Sex!

Saturday morning I was up early and freshly showered, when Cathy asked if I was ready for a day of beauty. She seemed overly excited to give me a makeover. Almost like Julie was that day at the mall.

The first place we went was to the Spa. We had facials, and got our fingers and toe nails done. That was a first for me. I enjoyed it.

We chatted the entire time we were getting worked on. Then it was off to the hair salon. I had long blonde hair all the way down my back. It kind of just hung there with no shape or no body to it. I didn’t have any bangs, they were as long as the rest of my hair. Hence the reason I usually wore it up in a pony tail.

Cathy and the hair dresser started flipping through the magazines to find a new hair style for me. I told them to do their worst. I didn’t care what style they gave me. Anything would be better than what I presently had. Maybe Moose was right. I did need to start looking more feminine.

They decided on long layers, parted in the middle with bangs. It would still allow me to wear my hair up for games. It would also give me a sexy edge when I styled it, and wore it down. I sat in the chair for over an hour. My butt was starting to go numb. I wondered how girls could do this all the time. It was so boring for me.

When they finally swung the chair around, so I could look into the mirror; I didn’t recognize myself. I actually looked hot. Mrs. Peat knew what she was doing. Maybe this make-over thing wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. It was so nice of her to treat me to this beauty day. It was above and beyond what I suspected most billets would do for their players. Moose told me the Peats did lots for him over the years that was extra. They were such wonderful, giving people.

“Wow Christine. You are absolutely beautiful. This style makes your eyes and your lips pop. Just wait until we get you some make up.” Cathy said beaming with excitement. The hairdresser nodded in agreement with her.

After we left the hair salon, she took me into a few clothing stores to find a dress to wear to the team dinner tonight. I really didn’t want to wear a dress, but she was insisting. Since she was paying for everything I didn’t want to argue with her. It would seem like I didn’t appreciate what she was doing so I just agreed.

After trying on twenty or so dresses, I put one on that the sales girl had thrown over the top of the fitting room. It was a white dress; made from a cotton and spandex material, with a rectangular sequined inset across the bust. It had a square neckline with wide shoulder straps that merged into a racer-back with an inverted-pleat detail at lower back. The skirt was A-line. I also noticed the price tag on it, $280.00.

I couldn’t afford this dress even with two years of allowances I would have been getting from my parents back home. It was a classy, but a very sexy dress. Cathy insisted on buying it for me to wear to the dinner. She told me next we would have to find a pair of shoes to go with it. All of this was so overwhelming for me.

For the shoes, she picked a pair of silver strappy sandles with jewels and crystals. They had an adjustable ankle strap. They were also two inch heels. I was going to kill myself in these shoes. She made me walk back and forth around the store several times so I could get a feel for them. They did make me feel extremely sexy. Then it was off to the Mac store. I didn’t even know what Mac was. I was surprised to find out it was a make-up store. When I thought about Mac, I thought of the truck my uncle drove.

The sales girl at the Mac store gave me a make over. I felt really pretty for the first time in my life. I watched the girl closely when she was applying the make up to my face. Cathy purchased all the make up the girl used on me. I would be able to recreate the look whenever I wanted to.

I thanked Cathy for everything with a great big hug. I had actually enjoyed the day. Her and Harry made me feel like part of their family. I would have to find a way to repay her for doing all this for me.

We were running late for the dinner. We got into the car and rushed home. Harry and Moose left us a note telling us they would meet us at the restaurant. I was nervous about my new look and outfit. The guys would probably think I was weird now. Or worse look at me different.

I changed into my new outfit and we drove to the dinner. When I walked into the room all heads turned to stare. It made me suddenly very self-conscious. I swiftly took my seat at the table with Harry and Moose. Then starred down at my plate. It was obvious that I was feeling insecure about my new look.

Moose whispered in my ear, “What the hell are you doing playing hockey girl? You should be a supermodel.” He advised. “Right now, every guy in this room is wishing you were his girlfriend. Trust me on this one.” He smiled approvingly.

“Thanks.” I whispered back. That made me feel a little more comfortable in my new outfit.

Dinner was good. Coach and the team owner made a few speeches. We all mingled afterward for a while. It was only 6:30 p.m. when the dinner finished.

I caught Myles and Alex both staring at me a few times during the speeches.

After the dinner, Moose and I left to go home to get ready for the rookie party. The event which I was dreading. The billets and coaches were staying at the restaurant to mingle a while longer.

When I got home I uploaded the pictures from the dinner to my Facebook page, so my parents could see the make over. Then I pulled on a pair of old jeans and a red low cut v-neck t-shirt. I knew that tonight the older players were going to make us rookies do some really strange things. I didn’t want to ruin any of my new clothes.

Moose was waiting for me out in the car. I rushed as fast as I could and jumped into the passenger seat. Moose really needed to clean his car. It smelled like dirty sweaty socks.

“Moose, I really don’t want to do this you know.” I confessed.

“Be a good sport about it Chrissy.” He demanded. “It’s all in good fun, and I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” he reassured me.

I knew what to expect at the party, but the other rookies were walking in blind. Moose had already informed me. He figured this way I wouldn’t react badly. Many of the rookie parties in the past had apparently gotten out of hand, and some bad things had happened. He also mentioned that many of the players were into group sex. He didn’t want me to be shocked with what I saw. The thought of that was distasteful to me. I knew tons of people at school were doing it. I just didn’t approve of things like that. I suppose I was a little old fashioned that way. My father kind of tried his best to instill that in me. I also knew guys didn’t have any respect for girls like that.

I had already been given the lecture on keeping my mouth shut regarding things I saw or heard. Since Moose promised he would not be drinking tonight, because he was trying to be a responsible team captain; I felt more at ease. I could deal with the pranks and hazing.

We went over to Moose’s buddy’s house for the party. The guys parents were away in Europe for the week. They forced the male rookies to dress in girls clothes, and a few girls put make up on them. I was forced to wear a penis costume that they had found for me. Then the guys made us stand on the side of the street offering to wash car windows for passerby’s for free. It was humiliating, but we all did it. The older players took pictures. After about forty minutes of that we went inside for some drinking games.

The first game was where we had to do shots of alcohol from a condom. It was disgusting. They wanted to see who could drink the most. It came down to Joe and me. My mouth felt gross, because the condoms were all slimy. I conceded and let Joe win. I was definitely feeling the alcohol. I was getting very intoxicated.

After all the hazing was finished, we danced and drank more. A few of the guys were playing strip poker with a group of girls. The girls didn’t seem to mind the fact that they were almost naked, and the guys were loving it.

A few of the guys went into a back bedroom. They were having sex with some willing girls. I saw one of the older players push Joe and two other rookies into the bedroom, then follow behind them. To me that was disheartening to watch. I couldn’t understand why those girls would subject themselves to be treated like sluts. I also knew a lot of the guys in that room indulging themselves, had girlfriends.

Alex came over and sat down beside me. “It’s a little much to take in eh?” He said. He was pointing to the two girls walking into the bedroom to join in with the sex games.

“It’s disgusting!” I snarled. “Those girls have no respect for themselves whatsoever.”

“Yeah, I know,” he agreed with me, “ I would never date a girl like that.”

“As if you’re innocent in all this Alex.” I barked. “I’m sure you have had your fair share of sluts.”

“Why would you say that?” He growled back at me.

“You’re a guy. You’re a player.” I scolded. “You’re all a bunch of pigs. I hear all the bullshit that spews out of you guys in the locker room. It makes my stomach turn.”

“Sure, I’m not innocent but I still would never date a girl like that,” he assured me.

I went to stand up and stumbled. He caught me in his arms. I guess I was more drunk then I thought.

“I need to go home.” I concluded. “Before I pass out on the floor.”

“Do you want me to drive you home?” He asked me concerned.

“Are you crazy? You have drank more than me tonight Alex. You shouldn’t be driving anywhere.” I growled at him. “If you want to take me home we can walk. You can pick up your truck later.”

“Alright, let me get our coats and I’ll meet you at the front door,” he said.

I stumbled my way over to Moose and told him that I was leaving. I knew I was over my limit. I wasn’t feeling very good. He offered to take me home. I informed him that Alex was walking me. He shot me a warning look.

“Listen Christine,” he cautioned. “You don’t let him try anything on you. Do you understand me? Sack him if he tries anything, then call me and I’ll deal with him.” He demanded. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, then walked me to the door.

“Red, you be on your best behavior with her,” he threatened. “She’s your teammate. Remember that.”

Alex nodded. He took me by the arm since, I was stumbling around. Then he slid his arm around my waist to support me as we walked. It sent chills up my spine. Butterflies in my stomach. I think that was butterflies? It could be just the fact that I was starting to feel really sick now.

After the first few minutes of me stumbling and staggering down the street, I tripped and fell to the ground.

“Oh Lord,” he snickered looking down at me flopped on the ground.

“Hey, I didn’t fall, the ground looked like it needed a hug!” I slurred out.

He shook his head, then he gave up on walking with me. He threw me over his shoulders and carried me the rest of the way to my house like that.

I protested, but he still wouldn’t put me down. I finally gave up, and let him carry me like a sack of potatoes. He must be pretty strong I thought to myself - to carry 173 lbs, this far. I put my hand around his arm muscles trying to see how big they were. I could hear him laughing at me, so I smacked his bum.

“Hey, Hey... Hey, no flirting with me.... the merchandise is off limits - remember I’m your teammate,” he scolded.

“As if, Alex I would never date a guy like you. Hockey players are nothing but a bunch of dirtballs.” I snapped.

“To bad though because you’re sort of hot.” I whispered under my breath.

He didn’t say anything, but I knew he was laughing even though I couldn’t see his face. His body was shaking as he chuckled. He put me down on the front porch when we got to my place. The lights were all off and no cars were in the driveway. I guess the Peats were still out. I fumbled with the key in the lock and Alex followed me inside the house.

“Do you mind if I get a glass of water?” He asked. I just waved him to the upstairs kitchen and slid on my bum down the stairs to the basement.

I crawled to my bed and flopped on it. The room was starting to spin. Alex appeared in my doorway with a bottle of Tylenol and a big glass of water.

“Christine take two of these, and chug this glass of water. You won’t have a hang over in the morning.” I complied with his command. A hangover was the last thing I wanted.

“I’m going to be sick.” I told him. He dumped out the small garbage pail from the corner of my bedroom, and brought it to me to throw up in. How humiliating! Here I was puking my guts out, while he was holding my hair out of my face for me.

After that he, helped me to the bathroom so I could clean up a little. He rinsed the pail out for me. I guess so that I didn’t have to do it. That was awesome of him. I would have started puking again if I did it. I brushed my teeth, then gargled with mouthwash. I put cold water on my face and removed all my make-up. I was still feeling sick. I told him I wanted to take a shower. He asked if he could hang around until Moose got home. I said sure go watch some television or something.

I got into the shower. The hot water felt so good. I sank down to sit on the floor of the tub, and just allow the water to splash on my face. I must have passed out for a few minutes, because all of a sudden I heard Alex banging hard on the bathroom door.

“Are you alright in there Christine?” He sounded nervous.

“Yeah, yeah, I am fine I’ll be out in a minute.” I told him.

I got out of the shower and dried myself off. Threw on my sweats and a tank top. I went out to join him on the couch.

“Thanks for tonight Alex.” I said “I truly appreciate you bringing me home and staying with me.”

“No problem, I didn’t mind at all, even with all the puking.” He jeered. “So you think I’m sort of hot do you?”

I had forgotten that I had mumbled that on the way home. Damn booze making me say things out loud I didn’t want anyone to know.

“I don’t know what you mean Alex.” I lied.

“Sure sure, well I think you’re kind of smokin’ yourself.” He winked at me.

He leaned forward and took my face in his hands then pressed his lips softly onto mine. They parted. His lips were soft and a tingle went down my spine. His kiss took my breath away. It was the last thing I was expecting. I caught my breath, then I pushed him away.

“Alex, we can’t do this, we’re teammates remember.” I reminded him.

“I know, but I really like you Christine.” He turned away from me to compose himself then looked at me again. “You’re not like any girl I have ever met. I can’t stop thinking about you.” He confessed.

“Alex, it’s hard enough for me to try and fit in with these guys. Having a teammate as a boyfriend is the last thing I need now. It would complicate everything.” I explained to him sadly.

“What if we didn’t tell anyone? Just kept it quiet between you and me?” He suggested.

“I don’t know Alex.” I whispered. I would love to have him as a boyfriend. Who wouldn’t. He was gorgeous. Then I remembered what Moose had told me about Alex being a player when it came to girls. “Alex, it’s just not a good idea, I am sorry.” I said softly.

He seemed genuinely hurt by my rejection. He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “I understand Christine, I’ll leave now. I don’t want to make things difficult for you.” He said. Then he got up to leave.

I didn’t want him to go though. I wanted to spend time with him. I really liked him also. I grabbed him and pulled him onto the couch with me and began kissing him passionately. It was like we were the only two people in the world and nothing else mattered for that moment.

He chuckled. “I thought this was going to complicate things?” He muttered in between kisses.

“It is, but since you’re the first boy I have ever kissed, I wanted to make it a good one.” I said out of breath.

“Really?” He seemed shocked by this. “You’ve seriously never been kissed before? I find that hard to believe. You’re a beautiful girl, smart, funny, just damn sexy.” He uttered.

“Seriously, most guys have issues with the fact that I play hockey.” I admitted.

He laid down beside me on the couch and placed his hand on the side of my face. He gently brushed the hair away from my face and smiled at me. Then he placed his lips softly again on mine. I melted. I closed my eyes. He kissed my closed eyelids gently. I might have agreed to anything at this point. Even though I wasn’t ready for it.

We kissed for a while. His hands not leaving my face. Who would have thought kissing could be so erotic?

Then he sat up without warning. “What do you want to do about this then?” He asked.

I bit my lip hesitating. Reality hit me. I couldn’t put my hockey career at risk. I looked into his eyes and said. “I don’t know. I like you a lot, but for now maybe we should just be friends. I think it’s for the best. Maybe you should go.” I turned my head. I felt like a tear might show in my eyes.

He got up and pulled me upright against his body. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I buried my head into his chest. He once again kissed the top of my forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Christine,” he said. “We’ll act like nothing happened. It will be fine.” With that he walked up the stairs and left.

I walked to my bedroom, threw myself on my bed and started to cry. I knew it was the right thing to do. Hockey was important. Having complications like a boyfriend; or a teammate as a boyfriend for that matter, would not make it easy for me.

When I woke up in the morning I wasn’t hung over, thanks to Alex making me take those Tylenol last night.

I knocked on Moose’s door. I heard him moan something like “go away.” I opened the door anyway. He was sprawled across his bed naked and the room smelled of sex.

“Umm.” I laughed. I threw the comforter that was on the floor on top of him.

Me seeing Moose naked was nothing new. He was notorious for forgetting his towel when he showered. He always ran out dripping into the hall to the closet to grab one.

“Moose I need to talk to you.” I shook him awake.

“Whatttttt!” He growled.

“I need some advice about Alex.” I said. He sat right up.

“Did that asshole try anything on you last night? Tell me Chrissy,” he snapped.

“No he didn’t, he was a perfect gentleman.” I insisted. He shot me a look of disbelieve.

“Then what advice do you need about him?” He questioned.

“I was just wondering how bad he gets... with the girls, you know?” I inquired.

Moose looked at me. He knew me well enough to know there was something going on. “Christine, what happened last night?” He asked again.

“Seriously, nothing happened. I just want to get to know him better. I’m not dumb enough to do anything Moose. You know I would never put my hockey career in jeopardy.”

Moose starred at me for a moment. I knew he could read my face. It was probably written all over it, that I was smitten with Alex.

“Well, I guess he’s no worse than any of us other guys. We have all been with our share of girls.” He confirmed to me.

“I can tell, you’re room smells of sex.” I complained. “I know it wasn’t Lena. Did you end it with her yet or are you just going to continue cheating on her?” I snarled.

“I know, I’m an asshole for doing this to her, but part of me needs her to keep focused. I do like her I am just not in love with her,” he explained.

“Well then be honest with her. Tell her you want an open relationship.” I argued. “You have to be fair to her.” He knew I wouldn’t breath a word of his infidelity to anyone. We had a mutual respect for each other.

He always seemed to change the subject when the conversation got to intense about anything.

“So, Alex, eh?” He laughed and then steamrolled me onto the floor. He got serious after that. “The thing about guys is they will always cheat until they find that girl who means more to them than they could ever imagine. Sometimes we guys have to learn the hard way and lose the girl we love to realize it though.”

“So I’m doomed is what you’re saying?“ I hissed.

“What! No, it’s just at our age and us being hockey players, girls are always throwing themselves at us. It’s hard to stay faithful. We all try at some point but we all seem to always fall off the wagon, so to speak.” He admitted.

“I think you should forget about Alex. Date a guy from school or something. Just keep the two separate.” I knew he was right.

“Thanks Moose.” I said crinkling my nose. “Go shower, you frigging stink!” I held my nose as I left the room.

I went back to my room and turned on my computer. I had not been on MSN forever. I should really speak to some of my friends from back home.

I chatted with some girlfriends and spoke to my brother Phil. He was happy for me. I told him about the rookie party and to keep his mouth shut about it to Mom and Dad, and of course Tyler. Phil was 15 and he wasn’t naive to sex. I was pretty sure he and his girlfriend had been having sex before I even left to come up here.

For me, sex was a big deal. I wanted to wait until I was ready. I didn’t have to wait until marriage. I just wanted to make sure I was in love. I didn’t want to just jump into bed with anyone. I wanted it to be special. Most of my friends were already having sex. I seemed to be the oddball in everything.

I was about to sign off MSN, when I saw Alex sign on. He messaged me right away asking me how I felt this morning. I told him I wasn’t hung over at all. He asked me if I wanted to go hang out with him. I explained that I didn’t want anyone to think anything of him and me hanging out. I would tell everyone here that I was going for a run. I told him that I would meet him over at the mall in about thirty minutes. He agreed and signed off.

I rushed into the bathroom cutting Moose off who was on his way to shower. “Sorry, I’m in a hurry.” I yelled as I slammed the door on him.

I brushed my teeth and hair. I washed my face, and then put on eye liner and mascara. Just like the salesgirl at the Mac Store had showed me. I ran out of the bathroom into my room and put on a tight fitted pair of black track pants and a tight fitting baby blue t-shirt that showed off my cleavage.

I went to the couch to put on my running shoes. Moose had been watching me running around trying to get ready with amusement.

“Since when do you make yourself up to go running Chris?” He mused. He knew me too well. I suspected he realized I was going to meet Alex.

“I’m not wearing make-up really, just some eye liner. I though it would be rude if I didn’t use it, since Cathy bought it for me.” I muttered.

“Sure, You don’t have to hide anything from me you know.” He said. He wasn’t buying my excuse.

“I’m not hiding anything.” I snapped. “Talk to you later I’m going running.”

I jumped up and ran out the door before he could question me more. Hopefully, Moose would let it go and not bug me about it.

I jogged over to the mall and saw Alex leaning against his truck. He looked like an Abercrombie model, with his tight black t-shirt and nice fitted jeans on. I jogged up to him. He grabbed me into a bear hug, then spun me around and kissed me.

“I missed you,” he told me smiling.

“Oh really, did you now?” I laughed.

“I truly did.” He said smirking with that crooked smile of his that had me melting inside.

He took my hand in his, and we started walking away from the mall towards the park. We talked while we walked.

He told me about his family, and about what it was like up in Sudbury. He explained what it was like to get drafted. I didn’t realize until he told me that he had been. He was drafted in the second round of this years draft to the Boston Bruins. I listened to everything he told me about it. Taking it all in. I would kill to have a team draft me. He asked me about my family and Dryden. I told him how hard it had been on me being the odd ball in my family. It seemed to upset him to see my sadness when I talked about it. The more we talked the more I started to fall for him. He was a sweet guy. Smart, funny, gorgeous – everything a girl could ask for.

I told him I was nervous for the preseason games coming up this week. I knew coach was going to let the rookies have a lot of ice time. This way we could show him what we had to offer, before he decided on the lines. He told me not to worry, that I really was a talented player and every one could see that.

He confessed to me that he didn’t like the thought of the guys banging me around out there on the ice. I told him he had to treat me like any one of the other guys. I didn’t want anyone to know about us. It had to be kept secret. He kissed me and said that was going to be very hard for him. He wished he could tell everyone that I was his. That made me happy to hear.

We hung out in the park for a few hours. I told him as much as I didn’t want to leave to go home, that I had to. He walked me part of the way home. I felt like walking so we could talk more. Beside if someone saw us in his truck they would start to speculate we were an item. I didn’t want anyone knowing about us. It was bad enough that Moose knew.

We were a few blocks from the Peat’s home, when he suddenly pulled me into bushes and tackled me to the ground.

“What are you doing?” I said winded from the fall and being crushed by all 6’2 and 205 lbs of him on top of me.

“Did you not see Myles?” He asked. I shook my head. “He was driving up the street towards your house.”

“Thank God you saw him.” I was relieved that he saw him. That could have turned into a hairy situation.

“Maybe for the next few days we should just talk on MSN.” I suggested “If coach were to find out about us he might trade one of us and I don’t want that.”

“Your wish is my command, my lady,” he jeered. He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me passionately, before helping me up to my feet.

We said goodbye with another kiss. He smacked my bum as I started to walk away.

“Look at that sexy ass, I could watch you walk away all day.” He flirted, grinning.

I turned and scolded him with my finger. Then wiggled my bum as I strutted away.

I walked the rest of the way home smiling and thinking about how much I enjoyed kissing him.

Myles and Welsh were playing pool with Moose when I got home. They asked me to join so we could play in teams. Myles and myself against Welsh and Moose. I was not very good at pool.

Myles seemed to enjoy my pool tutoring a little to much. He pressed his body against mine, as he leaned over me to show me how to hit each ball. Moose caught me rolling my eyes.

“Coop, enough with the tutoring there buddy. I think she gets it.” Moose said sternly.

“Sorry Chrissy.” Myles smirked as if he was innocent.

Moose and Welsh beat us at three games. I gave up. I decided to go sit and talk to Cathy upstairs. I offered to help her make dinner tonight. She welcomed the idea. She confided her secret ingredient for her spaghetti sauce (brown sugar).

We all sat down to eat just like a normal family. It was nicer than having dinner with my family. At least here we didn’t all argue during dinner time. We actually talked. Also here the conversations were not always about football. Conversations were always pleasant and a wide range of topics in the Peat house.

I liked that Harry and Cathy respected us and treated us as adults and not children. Although Moose really was an adult. They told me they would be at all our home games to support us. I thought that was very sweet of them. I explained that I was a little nervous for the game tomorrow night against Oshawa. I didn’t know how the other team would react to seeing a girl out there on the ice. I wondered if they were going to try and take me out.

Moose interjected then. ”If someone tries something like that, our boys will clear the bench.” He declared.

“That’s the last thing I want to happen Moose. I need the guys to think of me as just another player on the team. Beside I can fight you know.” I sniffed.

“Really, can you?” He seemed abashed by this.

“Yes, I can. I took boxing for over three years. I have pretty good balance on skates if you haven’t notice.” I pointed out to him.

“Well then maybe that’s what you should do then. First chance you get, take it to one of the rooks on the other team. I think when you do get a chance you should. Just as a warning for other players not to screw with you,” he suggested.

“We’ll see what happens. Just tell the other guys not to worry about me out there OK.” I insisted.

The guys were going bowling after dinner. Team bonding apparently. I bowed out this time because coach was going. They were going to discuss the rules about me being in the dressing room with them.

Up until this point, I had been dressing in the visitor’s locker room. Coach had already explained it all to me. I figured it would be best if I wasn’t around when he explained it to them; so they could gripe without feeling like they were offending me.

Instead I invited Lauren over to the house to study. She left before Moose got home. I was afraid to ask him how it went, but of course I really wanted to know.

“So what’s the verdict?” I called out as he was taking his shoes off in the hall.

“Can I at least get inside the door before you attack me with questions Chris?” He hollered from upstairs.

“No, I need details immediately.” I giggled. I had been pacing the last half hour or so waiting for Moose’s return so I could interrogate him.

“The guys have no issues with you being naked in the dressing room.” He laughed as he sat down on the couch beside me before he continued.

“Coach however does. He told the guys you shower last, and there will be a sign hanging on the wall for you to turn when you’re in there. This way everyone can respect your privacy. Of course you’re suppose to always be in your sports bra and shorts around us. Never naked. I suppose you already knew that. It wouldn’t be any different from the day of our medicals. We were ordered not to show off our junk in front of you,” he teased.

“Ha ha, so no one bitched and complained about all the special new rules?” I asked again. I found that hard to believe. Coach had added about twenty rules for them to follow.

“Not really,” he said. “I’m more worried about the distraction it will cause the other guys to see you walking around half naked. We were told to all think of you as a sister.” He mused. “Alex didn’t look happy with the new rules. Do you have anything you want to tell me little sister,” he chuckled.

“There’s nothing to tell. Alex and me are just teammates. He was nice enough to walk me home from the party, and hold my hair while I puked. End of story.” I barked.

“Alright!” He said and he stretched out on the couch hogging it as usual. I went into my bedroom and turned on my computer.

I was sure Alex had a lot to say about these new rules. He was already on MSN when I signed on. As I suspected he was not happy.

Hitting the Ice

We were all sitting in the dressing room after the pregame warm up listening to coach. The guys were pretty worked up from the chirping the other team was throwing at them about having a girl on the team.

Coach put me on the third line with Matt Spencer and Colton ‘The Hatchet’ Huges. He wanted to make sure I would be protected. I fell in good playing left wing. It wasn’t that hard to get use to. Moose assured me that he had spoken to the guys about me being able to fight, and to let me prove myself out there.

My first shift was tough. This game was definitely faster than I was used to. On my second shift, I wasn’t taking any crap from number 27. He had nailed me on my first shift hard in the corner. I just laid him out, he staggered to his feet using the boards for support and made his way to the bench. I got two minutes in the box for it, but it was worth it. My teammates cheered me from the bench.

I played hard the entire game against Oshawa. I only managed to get an assist. For my first OHL game I knew I did well. The guys were happy with the way I played. We won 3-2. We would play them again in two days at their home arena in Oshawa. It would only be a day trip. I couldn’t wait to go on my first road trip, somewhere far and stay in the hotel; really get the feel of being a true hockey player.

Some of the guys were going out the bar after the game to celebrate. I of course couldn’t. I wasn’t of age. Some of the guys had fake I.D.’s saying they were nineteen. I wasn’t about to do anything to get myself in trouble with the coach, so I went home. Alex mentioned that he would be going to the bar with the guys. I told him to have fun.

I left the arena with Cathy and Harry. They complimented me on the good game I played, and told me how proud they were of me. I told them I couldn’t wait to call my parents and tell them about it.

I went in my bedroom with the cordless phone when I got home and dialed. Dad answered on the second ring. “Hey Dad,” I said.

“Christine, we miss you. How did your first game go?” He asked.

“It was great, much faster than I expected. These guys can really skate up here.” I informed him. “But I got an assist and I laid out number 27, knocked the wind right out of him, you should have seen him stagger to his bench.” I raved.

“I’m so proud of you honey.” He marveled. “Keep up the hard work, I’ll let you speak to your mother now,” he said. “I love you Christine.”

“Love you to Dad.” I responded.

I spoke to my mother for over twenty minutes. I told her about the beauty day and make over with Cathy. I asked her if she had seen the pictures that I had posted on my Facebook page. She had. She thought I looked beautiful in them. I told her about school and my friend Lauren. She worried about me and all these boys.

I assured her that Moose had seemed to take on the role of my protector, and not to worry about them. It seemed that since I had been away from home, our relationship had gotten much stronger. I could actually speak to my parents without everything turning into an argument. That was a nice change.

After I got off the phone, I crawled into bed. My cell phone started vibrating around 3:00 a.m., I answered it half asleep. It was Alex, he sounded very drunk.

“I have to tell you something Christine.” He started. He sounded guilty and nervous. I knew this was going to be bad. My heart sunk instantly.

“What did you do Alex?” I raised my voice to him on the telephone, demanding an answer.

“Some of the guys and I went to this chick’s apartment, and she screwed them. I didn’t do anything, I swear! I just watched,” he gulped.

“Alex, goodnight!” I said hanging up the phone. I turned it off because I knew that he would keep calling.

I should have expected this. Moose had warned me what he was like. What all the guys were like. It didn’t matter to me that he only watched. It was just as bad as him joining in, as far as I was concerned.

Yes, I was glad he gave me the respect and told me. I figured he only told me, because he knew I would hear about it in the locker room tomorrow at practice. As much as I cared about Alex. I wasn’t about to put up with crap like that from him. Tomorrow I would tell him it was over. That we were only going to be friends.

I went to see if Moose was home. He was in his room on the computer. He told me to come in. I noticed that some girl on his screen had her web cam on and was giving him a show.

I groaned disgusted. “I have bad timing, I will leave you to your porn star.” I slammed his door.

My parents drilled it into me that if I didn’t respect myself, then no one else would respect me. What was wrong with these girls? Why did they think it was OK to do these things? I shouldn’t judge, but when it affected me, it wasn’t alright. I wouldn’t stand for it.

An hour later Moose came into my room. I was crying. He crawled into bed with me and cuddled. I pushed him away.

“Moose, I just want to be alone please.” I whimpered through fresh tears.

“No Chris, what’s going on. Tell me. We’re friends,” he coaxed.

“It’s nothing, home sick I guess.” I lied.

“I don’t believe that’s all your upset about.” He could read me like a book. “Is it Alex?” He questioned me. Although I could tell he already knew the answer.

“For the millionth time Moose, there is nothing going on between Alex and me.” I shouted.

“I wasn’t born yesterday Chris.” He chuckled. “I am not blind. I know you fairly good and him way too well.”

“We kissed that’s it, then I told him we just had to be friends that’s all.” I sobbed harder. “Then tonight he called me telling me that he went with the guys and watched 4 of them tag team some whore.”

“Well that’s for the best and you know it.” He was referring to me telling Alex that we should only be friends. “I am here for you anytime you feel like talking though.”

He snuggled up to me. “You smell really good.” He said, wrapping his arms around me tighter.

I rolled my eyes. Why was everything about sex to guys. I know he meant well, but he was very touchy feely with me tonight. I knew that if I was older he would probably try to sleep with me to. I wanted to push him off the bed, but I had to admit that it was nice to be held. I fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke up in the morning, Moose was snoring away. I went up to the kitchen and ate breakfast with Cathy and Harry. They were going out of town for the night to a wedding. I told them to have a good time and hugged them good bye.

I was in the living room, in the basement doing my homework when the doorbell rang. It was Alex. I tried to shut the door on him. He pushed his way through.

“We need to talk Christine,” he demanded.

“No, no we don’t Alex.” I stomped down the stairs. I was about to enter my room when I remembered that Moose was still sleeping in there. That would not go over well. I stopped, turned and walked to the couch.

“Christine, I was with the guys, they were my ride, I couldn’t just leave,” he groaned. “I swear to you I didn’t do anything. I would never cheat on you. You mean more to me then I ever thought possible. You need to know that.” He reached out to hold me. I pushed him away.

“You should have called a cab and left. You didn’t have to go to that girl’s place.” I reminded him.

“You’re the one who wanted to keep us a secret. Don’t you think the guys would have suspected something if I didn’t go with them?” He pleaded trying to use my own words against me.

“You’re unbelievable! You should hear yourself.” I retorted.

Just then Moose emerged from my bedroom in only his boxers. The yelling must have woken him up. Alex starred at me in disbelief.

“You have some nerve to ball me out for what I did, when I see him,” pointing to Moose; “walking out of your bedroom half naked.” He yelled and threw his arms up in the air.

He started to leave. Moose ran after him. He ran outside in his boxers to catch him. They talked on the front porch for a while then Moose came back in alone.

“That’s one pissed off guy you have on your hands,” he informed me. “Good Luck with that.”

I wasn’t going to put up with this shit. I needed to focus on hockey. Now I knew why it was so hard for girls to make it on a guys team. Sex and love always complicated things.

“Thanks a lot Moose.” I managed to choke out. Then I went into my room and slammed the door.

Not long after I went into my room. My door cricked open. Alex was standing at the foot of my bed.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered softly. He sat down at the end of my bed.

“Moose said you were crying last night. He came in to comfort you and then he passed out.” He said quietly. “Is that what really happened Christine?”

“Yes.” I managed to say through my tears. “Alex, I care about you a lot. I know you care about me. This whole situation, hockey, the guys, the girls, you, being away from home.” I shook my head “It’s so much to deal with. I really think we have to keep it professional and just be friends and teammates, for now anyway.”

He nodded “I understand. I don’t want to see you hurt or upset.” He encouraged. “It’s OK if you date other guys.” He went on. “I will prove to you that I do want to be with you. I won’t be with anyone. Maybe at the end of the season we can try and work things out between you and I.”

I could see tears swelling in his eyes. He meant what he said. I crawled onto his lap and just let him hold me in his arms. I looked up and touched his face. I did care about him. I kissed him gently on the cheek.

“Alex, I know this is going to be hard but we have to try.” I sighed.

“I will try my best. I’ll go now and we can talk later.” He told me. He squeezed me tight and then placed me on my bed, kissing my lips softly.

My mouth turned up into a pout, he snickered at my expression. “No one has ever had such a tight hold on me as you have, and you have it without even trying,” he confessed.

When I was with him, it was hard to think about anything else but him. “And you don’t think that you have that same type of hold on me?” I replied.

He looked at me with those deep green eyes of his. “I wish you’d let me inside that head of yours. Tell me what you’re thinking right now?” He pondered for a minute “I suppose you won’t though.”

“Nope.” I kissed him, not willing to let him go. I knew I had to say good bye. We had practice later, and I had much thinking to do. He finally left me to ponder what had happened between us just now.

I laid in bed for hours. Processing everything. Getting my priorities straight. I came to the conclusion that Alex and I would be able to maintain a relationship as long as we kept it separate from hockey.

If we could stay professional about the situation then would it really be that big of a deal? We would have to keep it a secret. Coach wouldn’t like it and neither would our teammates. It was certainly a do-able thing. I couldn’t think about it anymore. I knew it had to be him and me, just staying friends for now, that’s it. When I came out Moose was sitting on the couch.

“Did you guys work things out?” He questioned me.

“Yeah, we did.” I informed him. “It’s going to be fine. We are just going to be friends. He understands how important this is for me.”

“Good, I have a lot more respect for him now,” he muttered.

Alex was true to his word and kept everything professional during practice. I noticed Moose was monitoring the situation closely. Moose knew how hard everything was for me. I had a lot more to deal with than the average player. He had it rough his first year. I was a girl, it would be twice as hard for me. For the moment we would remain friends and I would try and move on.

The next several games were all home games or close to home. We won only one, lost 3. Coach was still moving around the lines. Trying to find the best fit for us all. What the best way to help the team would be. I managed to get a little power play time. That was a big deal for me. I hadn’t scored at all, I was getting worried. Maybe I wasn’t good enough to be playing here. The guys explained to me that once I got my first goal, the rest would just come. I just needed to get the monkey of my back.

I got into my first fight during the 3rd game we played. It was against Trenton. They were a new team in the league. This was their first year, and they were trying to prove themselves. I lost the fight, but gave the guy two sucker punches and broke his nose. I had a split lip and a black eye. I went to the room, got it sewed up and was back on the ice right away.

Alex cringed away when he saw my injuries. Some of the guys had issues fighting with a girl. Some felt I played with balls, and saw me as just another opponent.

On the bus ride home Alex decided to sit with me. We didn’t talk about anything unusual, because we had agreed to just be friends. It was dark on the bus. We were watching game footage on the television mounted to the front of the bus. I had a blanket stretched out over me and was all curled up in my seat. It was common for players to fall asleep on each others shoulder’s, the seats weren’t very comfortable. I placed my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

He reached under the blanket with his hand and took mine in his and squeezed. He held my hand the entire forty minute trip home.

We had a week of practices, then we were going on our first real road trip of the season. We call it a three in four. That meant we had three of the tougher teams to play in four days. It was going to be brutal.

Coach told me I would have a room to myself in the hotels. Usually it was only the older guys who got a room to themselves, or players for special reasons. I guess being the only girl on the team had some advantages.

At school that week I socialized more. I had met a few new girls. They seemed nice, a lot different from me. I went to the movies with them on Wednesday after practice. We had fun. They flirted with the guys who were hanging around outside the movie theatre. I tried my best to join in. I was trying to move on, but all I really wanted was to be with Alex.

He had been true to his word so far. He was spending his time, studying his online university course, practicing and hanging around his billet’s house.

I had to give him credit, and so did Moose. Of course, Moose was the only person who knew about Alex and I. Our forbidden love. We were still not together but we both wanted to be.

I didn’t know what to pack for the road trip. Moose gave me a rundown of things I would need. My laptop computer, my IPOD, a pillow for the bus. I packed my favorite blanket. It was so warm and soft. I was sure I had packed everything I needed. I was excited.

Everyone who plays hockey shares a bond. A connection with everyone else who has ever laced ‘em up. I was really starting to bond with the guys on my team. They treated me like any other player on the team. It wasn’t even uncomfortable for any of us now in the dressing room. They respected my privacy and I respected theirs. Coach said he was proud of the way all of us were handling the situation. We were proving that having a girl on the team would not be a problem with the right guidance.

We left the rink after supper, and we arrived in Belleville shortly before 8 p.m. that Thursday night. I needed to rest because we had our first game on the Friday.

We checked into our rooms for the night. I knew some of the guys had made plans to hook up with girls they knew in town. I had heard them discussing it on the bus. Players, always thinking with the wrong head. I was laying in bed talking on my MSN when Alex popped up online.

Alex – Watcha ya doing beautiful

Cmatthews – Nadda u

Alex – Lonely, thinking about you

Cmatthews – What a coincidence lol

Alex – I miss you

Cmatthews - miss you 2

Alex – Want some company? (wink)

Cmatthews – BEHAVE YOURSELF

Alex – Purdy Please Hun

Cmatthews – can u sneak away without being noticed?

Alex – Yup give me 10

Cmatthews – K

I shut off my computer and rushed into the bathroom to shower quickly. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair, but left it wet. I put on my tank top and a pair of old shorts with holes in them. I sprayed some perfume into the air and walked through it, so it wouldn’t be that strong.

Then waited. My heart started to flutter when twenty-five minutes later there was a quiet knock at my door. I opened it and pulled Alex into the room rapidly before anyone saw him.

“Hi!” I smiled looking up slightly towards him. I was afraid to get caught in his tractor beam eyes.

“Hi!” He said wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me. As he was kissing me, he backed me up slowly towards the bed. We fell on the bed together still kissing.

I started to giggle. “You are very bad for me, you know that right.” I joked.

“I think it’s the other way around.” He chuckled and then cuddled with me from behind. He placed the side of his face on my cheek.

We just laid there holding each other for a while. “You are to damn sexy for your own good. You look unbelievable in what your wearing, with your hair all wet.”

I sighed “What are we doing here Alex? This is wrong. We have to stop.”

“I don’t know Hun. Don’t worry, it will all work itself out,” he whispered. “I better get back to my room before some one notices I’m gone.”

“Stay just a little while longer please.” I insisted.

“Twist my arm, eh!“ He teased me.

Then suddenly there was a knock at my door. Crap! What if it was the coach?

“Alex hide in the bathroom.” I whispered.

It was the coach. I opened the door looking tired and ready for bed.

“Hey Coach.” I yawned.

“I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you.” He said his eyes scanning around my room.

“Everything’s good. I’m just heading to bed. I want to be well rested for tomorrow.” I told him.

“Good if you need anything I’m up one floor, room 210.” He informed me. “Have a good night.” Then he left my room.

Alex emerged smirking from the bathroom where he’d been hiding.

“That was close,” he laughed.

“Too close, we are going to have to be a little more careful.” I warned. “Time for you to leave.” I said pushing him towards the door.

“Never!” He chuckled. “You’re mine forever, don’t you forget that.” He grabbed me into a bear hug. I squirmed out of it. I took a quick peak out in the hall. It seemed safe enough.

“Go, get out of here!” I said pushing him out into the hall. He fought me and pushed his way back into my room and shut the door behind him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my body against his. He bent his head down and kissed the top of my forehead “I love you,” he said.

It caught me right off guard. I didn’t say anything. He unwrapped himself from me, grinned and out the door he went.

I walked to the bed and sat down. Did that just happen? I wasn’t sure for a minute. He loved me! I knew he loved me, but it was the first time he actually said it. Why was he doing this to me? We had to stop this before anyone on the team started to suspect what was going on between Alex and me. I decided I would speak to him about it the next opportunity I got.

I curled up under the covers and fell asleep.

Getting My Feet Wet

I would be playing today, but it would be the only game I would play this weekend. I would be considered a healthy scratch. I hated that. No one ever wanted to sit out games. I wasn’t scoring, it didn’t surprise me the coach was sitting me out. I only had two assists under my belt. I was definitely contributing in other areas, but I needed to get some goals.

During the warm, up a player on the other team skated up to Welsh and chirped. “Your girl is like a pack of timbits. For $2.00, can I share her with the rest of the team?” He pointed at me. That’s usually a chirp to be said to someone about their girlfriend. I suppose it worked in this situation to.

“It must be hard to eat, when you got no hands.” Welsh chirped back.

By the end of the first period, the opposing team was up 2-0. Coach shifted the lines again. Now I would be playing with Alex and Mitch Kane. This would be weird. I hope Alex had his head in the game. As if he heard what I was thinking he nodded and winked at me. We took the ice.

Three minutes into the second period I got a sweet pass from Alex right on the end of my stick. I slid it right through the goalie’s five hole. I was ecstatic, my first OHL goal.

I dropped to one knee and slid on the ice. Then I skated passed our goalie and punched his glove. Then skated by the guys on my bench gloving the guys who had their arms extended to congratulate me on my goal. Coach patted me on the back as I passed him to take my seat on the bench.

It was the only point I got that game, but it was enough for me. I was happy. We won the game in overtime, 4-3. Alex got the game winner. He was on a roll so far this season. He already had 12 goals and 9 assists. I could see why Boston had drafted him. He was a fanominal player. I was very happy for him. If someone deserved to make the show it was him. He had the talent and he loved the game.

We got on the bus right after the game to head to Kingston. I was bushed when we got to the hotel. I went into my room and flopped on my bed. I just wanted to crash. I didn’t even feel like changing out of my clothes. Then I heard a knock at the door.

It was coach. I let him into my room. He sat down in the chair across from my bed. I was nervous maybe he had found out about Alex and me.

“Christine, as you know I have been shifting the lines around.” He said. “How did you like playing on the second line with Mitch and Red?” He asked.

“It was nice, the three of us had sweet chemistry.” I admitted.

“I agree. I know you were suppose to sit out tomorrow’s game, but I think I’m going to have you play,” he informed me.

I was excited. “I will work hard Coach. I promise.”

“I know you will Christine. If only a few of the other guys had your determination and drive,” he replied. “Well, I will let you get some sleep. Goodnight.”

I went to the bathroom to run a bath. I wanted to loosen up my muscles for tomorrow’s game. I had just placed my foot in the tub when there was another knock at my door. I wrapped a towel around myself and then went to look through the peep hole. It was Alex.

I opened the door, and he slid into my room quickly. I was standing there in just a towel. His eyes scanned me from head to toe, then back up to my face.

“Very sexy.” He greeted and put his arms around my waist and pulled my body to his.

“Umm, Alex, I....” I pondered for a second “I don’t think you should be here right now.”

“Why not?” He questioned still holding me in his arms looking disappointed.

“Because I am not ready for anything more than kissing. And ...well, I was about to get into the bath, I’m playing tomorrow.” I explained.

“I understand that you’re nervous and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you’re not ready. I’m not going to push you,” he assured me. He kissed the top of my forehead and snuck back out of my room.

Moose must have seen him leave because I was just about to get into the bath once again and he knocked on my door.

“What’s going on Chris?” He said in a disapproving tone, his eyebrow raised. I found it endearing that he felt the need to be my protector.

“Nothing, he came to say goodnight and I told him he couldn’t stay in the room with me. He told me he understood. That’s all.” I assured him.

“OK, night cutie, see you in the morning.” He flirted and I closed the door. I wondered if Moose even knew that he flirted so much. He was such an operator with the women. It was most likely something he did without thinking.

Finally I was able to relax in my bath. It was only luke-warm now from all the interruptions. I still enjoyed it. I marveled at the fact that I had my first OHL goal. I had gotten that damn monkey off my back, now I could relax. Some guys still didn’t have a goal yet. I was ahead of the game, thankfully.

After my bath, I crawled into bed and fell asleep within minutes.

During warm up in Kingston, the Ref was giving me the stink-eye. I had a feeling he didn’t like the fact that a girl was playing. I tried to ignore it, and continued to warm up. There are supposed to be two Refs, but for tonight’s game it was one Ref and two linesman only.

In the first period he called me for two penalties I didn’t deserve. Coach was getting mad. Kingston was up 3-0. He had me sit out a few shifts. It pissed me off. When I got the chance to go back out, I got called for slashing. I wasn’t even near the player. I was so enraged. I couldn’t hold my temper back.

I skated up to the Ref and sassed, “Get off your knees ref, you’re blowing the game.” He called me for unsportsmanlike conduct. I didn’t care I was choleric. I knew coach wasn’t going to put me out there if this type of bullshit continued. The entire situation was making me cantankerous. Refs are there to call a fair game. This moron had placed a target on my back for no reason. I sat in the box for my ten minute misconduct penalty muttering profanities.

Half way through my penalty, Moose joined me in there for a two minute high sticking penalty.

“Now why did you stick your foot in your mouth with the Ref Hun?” He shook his head at me.

“Well, he’s to busy starring at player’s asses to pay attention to the game.” I hollered as the ref skated by us sitting in the penalty box. The Ref shot me an evil look.

Moose smacked my helmet hard.

“What the hell are you doing Chris? Do you want to get thrown out of the game?” He hit my helmet for a second time. “Now zip it.” He commanded. I just glared at him.

I knew he was right. Most of the time the Refs tried their best. However, tonight, this Ref seemed to have it in for me.

In the third period coach put me out on the fourth line. I managed to dangle a nice one and scored. I made sure to skate by the Ref smirking. Coach put my line back out right away and I sent Tyler Dawes a nice one, and he got it top shelf. I jumped on him right away knocking him to the ice. The rest of the guys fell on top of us in celebration.

I was ecstatic, 2 points in a game the Ref had tried to blow for me. There was still four minutes left in the game. Coach decided to give me a chance. He put me out on the penalty kill; when Ryan was in the box for a check from behind.

I took two shots on goal, both times I heard the ting of it hitting the pipes. Then finally Myles got the puck up to me on a break away. I got it left corner, top shelf. The game was tied. It was a sweet short-handed goal. Adam Sagat got the game winner. It was a great game for us to come from behind like that.

When I was skating off the ice I was tapped on the shoulder. Apparently, the radio guys picked me as first star. I couldn’t believe it. When they called my name I skated out onto the ice. There was a mixture of cheers and boos for me, but I didn’t care. I skated over to the side of the boards, and threw my stick over for a little girl. She was happy to get it. When I got into the dressing room the guys cheered me on. I was elated.

We boarded the bus right after the game, but stopped to eat before heading to Ottawa. I was starving. I ate two cheeseburgers and a large fry. I was also exhausted. It was a two and half hour bus ride to Ottawa apparently. I got comfortable on the bus. The guys let me hog two seats and I stretched out. I fell asleep immediately.

When we arrived at the hotel I was wide awake. I pulled out my computer and went on MSN. My little brother Tyler was online. I told him about the game and the asshole Ref. He was actually excited for me. That was a first.

Alex called my cell five minutes after I signed off the computer. He told me his roomie was having a visitor. Some french puck bunny. He wanted to know what I wanted him to do. He said that a few of the guys were hanging out there. It would probably turn into something nasty.

“How are you calling me? Can they not hear what you’re saying.” I asked him.

“I’m in the bathroom.” He laughed.

“Lovely, Alex. You know that you are really loved when your significant other calls you while they are on the toilet.” I said sarcastically.

He laughed. “So?”

“So get your butt over to my room then.” I instructed him.

He was at my door with what seemed like 30 seconds of hanging up the phone.

“Hey stranger!” I giggled. “Long time no speak.”

He closed the door behind him, then picked me up and threw me on the bed. We started to play fight. I was starting to get worked up. It was obvious he was as well. I stopped mid fighting. He looked up at me bewildered, wondering why I had stopped so abruptly.

“Let’s be normal tonight and just watch a movie.” I suggested. I had downloaded a few new movies on my laptop. He agreed with a sigh. We started watching a comedy about two college friends who go on a road trip to pick up girls. It was funny.

About thirty minutes into the movie there was a knock at my door. It was Coop. He said he was bored and wanted to hang out. I invited him in to watch the movie with us. He didn’t look happy that Alex was sprawled across my bed. I chuckled.

Then coach came by the room about an hour later. He was surprised to find Myles and Alex in the room with me. I assured him we were only watching a movie. He accepted my explanation and told us to hit the sheets right after it.

Alex left before Myles did. I know he didn’t want to, but we were trying to be discreet about our relationship.

Myles lingered for a few minutes until I insisted he leave. I was tired. I got the feeling Myles was more interested in me than he should be. Alex text me to make sure that Myles had left my room without incident. What a cutie!

Coach told me in the morning that I would definitely be a healthy scratch for this game. I was sitting out with McAvoy, Nelson, and Fuller. I was alright with that after yesterday’s game. McAvoy was out with an injury. He was 19 and kind of cute. Not drop dead gorgeous, but cute. The other two were rookies.

The Ottawa barn was huge. It was the biggest one I had seen so far. Some one mentioned it seated 11,000 fans. That was crazy. They all said it was a hard barn to play in, because the fans were really loud. We walked around the arena checking things out. Then I noticed a concession stand that was selling beaver tails. That was a gross thought. Who would want to eat a beaver tail? I expressed my opinion to McAvoy.

McAvoy laughed when I mentioned that to him. “Its a pastry, Dumbass! You have to try one. They’re awesome.” He grabbed me and we walked over to the line.

It was in the shape of a beaver tail. It was definitely tasty. I ate it, and was craving another one. I went back in the second period for another. The guys thought it was great that I didn’t care what I ate around them. I could pig out with the best of them.

We won the game against Ottawa. We climbed onto the bus after the game, for the long drive home. We would stop a few times on route coach had said to eat and stretch out. I was tired. I hadn’t played, but I was feeling the road now. Moose asked me to sit with him for the first part of the journey. I complied. Moose and I had gotten pretty close over the last month.

“How did you like your first roadie?” He asked enthusiastically.

“I loved it. I think the road likes me.” I teased. “I was on fire yesterday.” I chuckled. I spread out my arms and shewed him away from me “You need to move over Moose, you need to get out of my pure glow of awesomeness.” I jeered.

“Look at you getting all cocky.” He mused.

We talked for a while, then he passed out on my shoulder. He snored so loudly in my ear. I couldn’t even hear the conversation in front of us.

When we stopped in Kingston, I got up gently and let his head fall to the seat I was just sitting on. I got off the bus with some of the guys and grabbed a cheeseburger from the take out restaurant.

I decided it might be nice to sit with Joe Sim for some of the trip. He welcomed my company. He told me that things were getting better for him at his billets. They had started to give him a lot more space. I was glad to hear that. He asked me about one of my new girlfriends at school, Cassandra. I didn’t really know much about her. I had only hung out with her that one time outside of school. She did ask me a lot of questions about the guys. I warned him that she might be a puck bunny so to avoid getting attached to her.

He liked my honesty about a lot of things we discussed. He told me he felt bad for how he treated me in the beginning. He now accepted me as his equal.

I noticed Alex motioning me from near the back of the bus. I got up and walked to him. It looked like something was wrong. I was right.

“I just got some news. I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon,” he told me. I gasped.

“What? Why?” I asked upset.

“There’s an injury on the Providence Bruins. I was called up to play.” He explained. Providence was the Boston Bruins AHL affiliate team. Alex had just turned 20. He was able to be called up to the AHL team. I was happy for him.

He didn’t know how long he would be gone. Maybe a few weeks. I was sad that he was going, but I was happy for him. I knew Moose was heading to Lena’s place when the bus arrived. I asked Alex if he would drive me home when we got back. Of course he had no problem with that. I didn’t want to be obvious so I told him I was going back to sit with Moose and we could talk later. He agreed.

After seven hours on the bus we finally made it back to the rink in Toronto. I told Moose he didn’t have to drive me home, that Alex would. I wanted to say goodbye to him before he left.

When Alex and I arrived at my place, there were no cars in the driveway and the lights were all off. I asked him if he wanted to come in. Of course he wasn’t going to say no to that.

When I flipped on the lights in the basement. I noticed a note taped to the television. It read:

Moose and Christine,

Harry and I had to fly out to Kamloops, British Columbia for a funeral. We will be back next week. There is money in the cookie jar in the kitchen for groceries and anything else you guys need this week. Moose you take care of Christine for me.

Love ,Your Billet Mommy

Cathy xxx ooo

I looked at Alex. “Do you want to keep me company tonight, since I hate staying alone in the house? Moose is staying at Lena’s.”

“What bad timing. I’m leaving and your billets will be gone for a week.” He was upset. Yet he was happy we at least had tonight.

I placed my arms around his neck and kissed him. He picked me up, I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to my bedroom. We kissed for a while. I told him I still wasn’t ready for anything else. He said that he understood.

He watched me in the dim light as I got undressed. I put on an old pair of shorts and a tank top. He reached out his arm and pulled me onto the bed on top of him. His hands were exploring my body as we kissed. I rolled over onto my left side. He snuggled up behind me and whispered in my ear “You are so beautiful”. I squeezed his hand that I was holding close to my chest.

We cuddled all night. I was going to miss him when he was gone. I knew that I couldn’t let it get to me though, because I had to stay focused. He had done a lot to prove to me that he would be faithful. I trusted him.

In the morning, I said goodbye to him and he left. He promised to chat with me as much as he could on MSN and we could go on web cam. I hadn’t used my new web cam, so it would be fun.

We had a day off today. No practice and I didn’t have to go to school. I decided I would stay around the house and try out the sauna in the bathroom. It was relaxing. I spent the rest of the day moping around the house trying to find something to do. It was lonely in this big house when no one was home. I thought I would like the alone time, but knowing no one would be walking through the door seemed to bother me today.

I decided to call Lauren and see if she felt like doing anything. She was home and agreed to go to the mall with me. I still had some of the money dad left for me, about $70.00; and I had a few weeks worth of my hockey money. I figured maybe I should buy a few things to build my wardrobe up. Maybe I would buy some of the clothes like the girls at school were wearing. I was so used to wearing jeans all the time. A change would be nice.

Stalker

Alex had been gone two weeks. I only got to speak with him late at night. I was really starting to miss him. School and hockey had been going great. I was getting a lot of ice time for a rookie. My stats were improving. I was still climbing in penalty minutes, but many were not really my fault. Coach noticed the Refs were giving me a hard time. Many people did not like the fact that a girl was playing in the OHL.

I got into two more fights and won both. I looked online and I now had a fight card. It made me laugh. It bothered Alex when he saw my black eye and split lip, the last time we were on web cam. I told him it was nothing, I was fine.

The Peat’s house was a regular hang out for the team. I started to wonder what their grocery bills were really like. They always had the cupboards and fridge stalked, knowing the team was always hanging out there. They were two of the most generous people I had ever met.

I had been running after our night practices, and it was dark early now and getting much colder. I usually ran alone, unless I could convince one of my teammates to join me.

The last two nights I got a strange feeling while I was jogging. I kept turning around, but I didn’t see anyone. I was starting to wonder if I was just being paranoid. I would suddenly feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I would turn again, and nothing! Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I had been stressed lately. School, hockey, missing Alex and my family. I shook it off.

Then I considered that Toronto was a big city; although it didn’t have near the crime rate of the big U.S. cities. There was still a great deal of crime happening in the city. We lived in a nice area, but you never know. I was always told to follow my instincts about things like this. I don’t know why I was shrugging it off. I chopped it up to stress and me just being fatuous.

I left the house around 8:00 p.m. on Wednesday night. I started my usual running route. I got that feeling I was being followed again. When I was about twenty minutes into my run, I turned and there was a guy jogging, not that far behind me. Panic shot through my body. Then I took a second look. He looked harmless enough. I continued my run. He kept pace with me around seventy yards back. There was nothing unusual about another jogger on this route. I tried not the think about him.

Thursday, was a repeat of Wednesday. The same guy was jogging on the same route. This time he was about fifty yards back from me. He was closing the distance between us. I told myself it was just a coincidence. He really did look harmless. He was about twenty years old. He was average looking. No alarm bells went up. Maybe they should have. Maybe it was because for so long we were all taught about Stranger Danger. Creepy old men who wanted to give us candy. This guy was just an ordinary guy. I shrugged it off once again.

We had games both Friday and Saturday. We won both. I got 3 points for the weekend. No goals. I had completely forgotten about the guy on my running route.

Monday, during school lunch; I noticed that the same guy from my running route was hanging around the school. He could know someone from the school I thought to myself. Then I noticed he wasn’t talking to anyone. He just kept wandering around. I saw him again after school. Now the alarm bells went up. I was starting to get nervous. Maybe my first instincts were correct, and something was wrong with this guy. He looked so normal. My better judgment took over. I should be concerned.

I asked Joe if he would walk me home. I explained about the creepy guy who seemed to be following me. He agreed that it was a good idea that he walked me. We didn’t notice him on the walk to the Peat’s. Yet I still got the feeling I was being followed.

I wasn’t the only one who felt it. Joe kept glancing around as we walked. The hair on my arm and the back of my neck was standing up. I knew I wasn’t being paranoid anymore. This guy was actually stalking me. When Joe and I arrived at my place, I offered him to come in. He declined. He was going to meet some girl he had met at a party, and take her to dinner. I wished him luck and thanked him for walking me home.

I decided that I needed to tell Moose and the Peat’s about what was happening. All three of them were very upset. Mr. Peat went out and bought me some personal protection spray. I guess they didn’t have mace here, but it was something similar to mace. Moose insisted on running with me that night. I kept to the same time to see if my stalker would be there following me. We didn’t see him.

I thought maybe I was starting to imagine it. Moose told me, I most likely wasn’t. That he had dealt with a few female stalkers in the past. He was worried for me, because I was a girl; and guy stalkers were a lot more brutal to deal with.

I didn’t want to tell Alex about my stalker, because he didn’t need to be worrying about me. I kept it to myself. It was a joke in the locker room, but every one felt it could become a problem for me. They were all concerned, coach especially. He was such a wonderful man. You could see how much he cared about all his players.

It had been almost a week. There was no sign of my stalker. I hadn’t gotten that nervous feeling on my runs with Moose.

I decided I would run alone tonight. Moose was gone out. Besides he really hated running, and I hated to burden him. Cathy didn’t like the idea of me running alone. She even offered to come with me. She was so adorable. I loved her dearly. She had become family to me. I assured her it was fine.

I started out on my usual route a little later than normal. It was almost 8:30 p.m. I thought maybe that would throw him for a loop, if he really was following me. It didn’t! About ten minutes into my run, I noticed him. I rounded the corner quickly and jumped the fence in the back yard of the house on the side street.

I watched through a crack in the fence as he past and continued on the route. Once I thought he was out of sight I climbed back over the fence and turned the corner to head home. He was standing there, blocking my path.

I could fight. I knew how to defend myself, but I was caught off guard and just stood there frozen.

He just stared at me. Looking right through me with his dark eyes. To me they looked black as coal, probably due to the fact that I was so scared. He stood in front of me for almost a minute. Not moving, not saying a word. My breathing got heavy and I felt like I was going to collapse.

Then he took his finger and slid it across his neck; like you would do to motion killing someone, by slicing their throat. I took a step back, my eyes wide, full of fear. He snarled at me and took a step forward.

I heard my name being called. “Chrissy, Chris.” I recognized the voice, it was Moose. I couldn’t open my mouth to answer him.

My stalker must have heard Moose calling my name. He shot off like a bat out of hell. I collapsed to the ground in tears. Moose rounded the corner and saw me there.

“Chris, what happened?” He grabbed me and pulled me up off the side walk. I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t move. I was frozen.

He leaned me on his shoulder and tried to help me walk, but I couldn’t walk. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms, and started walking towards the house. I was cold now, the wind had picked up. I buried my head into his chest and shook with fear. Tears flowed from my eyes.

Cathy and Harry were out of their minds with worry. I managed to pull myself together by the time the Peats called Coach and the police. I repeated the story so many times I was numb. I couldn’t really give a good description of the stalker. I knew he was in his early 20’s, about 6’0”, 190 lbs. Other than that all I could remember were those eyes. Eyes that were so full of hatred for me.

Coach wanted me to take a break, and stay away from the rink for a while. He was scared for me. I told him no way that some creepy stalker was going to stop me from achieving my goals.

We all came to an agreement that until this stalker was caught, I was not to go any where alone. Someone was to always be with me. I could deal with that.

I couldn’t sleep that night. His face haunted my thoughts. I knocked on Moose’s bedroom door. He invited me in. I sat on his bed and asked. “Have you ever had a stalker this violent before Kyle?”

“Yes, but it’s different for a girl. There are so many more things that could happen to a girl being stalked than a guy.” He started to rub my back to comfort me.

I shuttered at the thought of what could have happened, if Moose had not come looking for me tonight. “Thanks Moose. For coming to look for me.”

“You are like family to me Chris. I would kill someone if they hurt you.” He pulled me into his arms. “Just sleep here tonight. Try not to think about it all. You can’t allow it to consume you like this.”

His cell phone went off and I jumped. He grabbed it fast. It was his girlfriend, Lena. He told her what had happened and she insisted on coming over. Her and I had gotten a lot closer. We had hung out several times and she had introduced me to her friends. They liked to party hard. Too hard for me. They seemed nice enough though.

She showed up at the house in about fifteen minutes. She wasn’t shocked to find me in Moose’s bed. She crawled into bed and held me. I fell asleep between her and Moose.

When I woke up I giggled. This was odd. I crawled over top of them to get out of the bed. I went back to my own room and back to sleep. It was early, maybe 5:00 a.m.

Alex had gotten wind of what was happening with my stalker. The other guys, not knowing about us had mentioned it to him. He called me right away. I told him it was nothing to worry about. That Erik Wilson our teammate, and Alex’s best friend, was making a big deal out of nothing. He didn’t need to worry. I wasn’t going any where alone from now on. He told me that his last game would be this Friday and that he would be back Saturday night. I reminded him that we were away this weekend and wouldn’t be home until Sunday. It made him feel better to know that I would be out of town, where my stalker couldn’t get to me.

On the roadie we took a beating, only winning one game. During the second period I was asked to do my first television interview. I was nervous. Coach told me to just be myself. I skated to the booth after the buzzer sounded. I sat down and the announcer clipped a microphone to my jersey. He told me to relax.

“Joining me now is Christine Matthews, the sixteen year old female, left wing player from the small town of Dryden, Michigan. She just started her OHL career this season, playing with the Toronto Gophers. She already has an assist in tonight’s game. Thanks for joining us Christine.” The announcer said.

“Thanks for having me.” I answered him smiling. Then we started the interview.

Tell us what it’s like to be a female hockey player in the OHL? Any negatives?

I have been very fortunate to be able to play the sport I love dearly. I also owe Ben Killerman a great deal, for being able to over look the politics of having a girl on his team. It has been an honor to learn from someone as talented as Ben. As for the negatives, it’s been a hard road trying to prove that I am good enough to play in the OHL. Many of the guys and fans were not happy in the beginning. My teammates however, were very welcoming. They made me feel like part of the team immediately. My teammates and I have mutual respect for each other. I also have a great team captain, Kyle Schneider, who took the time to make sure my teammates and I always have open communication.

Why Hockey? And why not stay with a woman’s league?

I have always loved hockey since I can remember. It’s the greatest sport in the world. I did play with girls up until this season. This is the first year I have played on a guys hockey team. It’s much faster, harder hitting and I love it. My goal of course, as with all the guys who play the sport, is the NHL. The only way I can prove myself is to play in a guys league. Prove I’m strong, fast, and tough enough. I definitely have size on my side and I am a fast skater. I have been holding my own out there along with my teammates. Stats wise I am sitting in the middle of the board.

Who is the hockey player you most look up to?

Most people roll their eyes when I answer this question. I look up to Toby Chalke. He played with the Philadelphia Flyers in the 1970s and is now their GM. I suppose the main reason he became my hero, was when I found out that nobody wanted to draft him. He is a diabetic. After all the NHL teams passed him over at the draft for something as silly as being a diabetic, the Flyers took a big chance on him. He had to prove himself. He was also fast and tough. He was fearless. Some people think of him as a dirty player. I think he did what he had to do to get the job done. He did it well. I like to think of myself as the female Toby Chalke. I don’t have diabetes, my disability to many in hockey, seems to be the fact that I am a girl. I hope I have started to prove myself to all these critics.

How is it being away from home?

It’s great. I’m loving it. I miss my family and friends, that goes without saying. However, the experience has been amazing. My billets, Cathy and Harry are two of the most generous, outgoing people I have ever met in my life. They are family to me.

What advice would you give to girls out there who want to play in a boys league?

I would say never give up on your dreams. Hockey is a tough game. You have to have a thick skin. If you want it bad enough then it’s always there for the taking. You might have to give up a lot to get it. To me so far, it’s been worth it.

Thank you Christine and good luck with the rest of your game.

Thanks.

Peterborough had beaten us badly on Sunday 8-3. We arrived back in Toronto in the middle of the night on Sunday. Alex was waiting at the rink to drive me back to the Peat’s.

Moose seemed grateful, he wanted to go to Lena’s for the night. Lena and him had worked through their issues. Things were going good between them. I had been tagging along with them most of the week. He deserved a break.

On the drive home I told Alex about my interview. He told me that he had watched it. He thought I handled the questions extremely well for my first interview.

When we got to the Peat’s the lights were off. They were obviously sleeping. I invited Alex in for a little while. He didn’t want to let go of me. It was nice to have his arms around me. His kisses were more passionate than usual. He must have really missed me. He only stayed for an hour and then I insisted he leave. I didn’t want him to fall asleep and the Peat’s find out that he stayed over.

Michigan

The next few weeks passed without incident. My life was almost back to normal. Alex had become my running partner and drove me to and from school as well as practices daily.

This weekend we would be in Michigan. My parents had promised me that they would be at the game. Coach told me I would be playing this game, but I would sit out the Erie, P.A. game.

I got the feeling Coach suspected something going on between Alex and myself. Since we always kept things professional he didn’t say anything to us about it. Coach was a very observant man. You couldn’t get too much passed him. He never gave anyone a hard time about things unless he saw it becoming a problem. I figured he realized Alex and me were being responsible about the situation, or he would have made an issue about it.

I was excited to have my family watch me play. My parents said they would make sure they were in Saginaw the night before. Saginaw had a good team this year. They had only lost three games. It would be a close game.

I left tickets for my family at will-call. I got them good seats behind our bench. I hoped that my brothers wouldn’t try to hard to embarrass me. My father mentioned that he warned them not to. I still worried. My brothers weren’t known for listening to my parents. Phil had told me a few days earlier that Tyler was working on some hilarious signs to hold up. I could only imagine what they said.

In the first period the score was 2-1. Our one goal coming from Joe Sim. I managed a fluke goal from a dump-in that fooled the Saginaw goalie with two minutes left in the first period. The game was tied.

I hadn’t noticed my family sitting in the stands. I had been too focused. I took a glance up before skating off the ice and noticed Tyler’s sign. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Actually it was lame and unimaginative for him. It read ‘I thought these were football tickets’.

In the second period our team managed to generate a 3-on-1, and my attempt pass to Mitch went into the net off the skate of a Saginaw defender for an unassisted goal. Two fluke goals, but I wasn’t complaining and neither were my teammates.

In the third, Alex picked up a huge rebound off the goalie, spun around and beat him on the far side. Late in the third we were not winning the battles along the boards. Then suddenly with 38 seconds to go Welsh picked off the top corner as he and Alex were skating in on a 2-on-1. Moose got the other assist. The game finished sweet and we won 5-2. I was third star. It would have been nice to be first. Our goalie (Plouffe) got first star, he stopped 42 shots.

I met my parents out front after the game. They watched me sign some autographs and take pictures with fans, before they approached me. I gave them all great big hugs.

“I’m so proud of you Christine.” Dad beamed with pride. “I was amazed with your playing. I never thought a girl could play so well. I am happy to say you have proven me wrong.” He admitted and hugged me again.

Mom didn’t want to let go of me. I introduced my family to Alex, Moose and Myles. My mother noticed the way I had introduced Alex, she asked me if I liked him. I said that we were just very close friends. No need to get her worried.

I mentioned the stalker incident to my father when my mother was out of ear shot. He was worried. I told him not to worry, that everything was being handled. I told him it was very common for most of the guys to have stalker run ins from time to time, that this wasn’t anything new.

My brother Tyler was complaining to me about his sprained arm and how he wasn’t able to work out or play any sports.

“Awww, I’m sorry to hear that Tyler, would you like me to get you a straw, so you can SUCK IT UP!” I gave him a slight push jokingly.

He laughed. So did my father.

We weren’t staying in Saginaw for the night. We had to head out right away to Erie, P.A. I kissed them all goodbye, and thanked them for coming to my game. Mom told me that she had taken many pictures and she would tag me in them on Facebook. She was so happy for me.

When we boarded the bus I sat with Alex. It was late and most of us were going to end up sleeping for a good portion of the seven hour bus ride to Erie. I pulled out my blanket and covered us both up. He let me put my feet across his lap. My head was resting on my pillow, which was leaning against the side panel wall. Just him touching my feet gave me shivers. I loved being with him. It never mattered what we were doing. As long as he and I were together that was all that mattered.

We arrived early in Erie, P.A. The team had a free day. We weren’t playing until the Sunday. It gave the team time to rest and relax. Some of the guys went to the movies. I didn’t feel like going. I stayed in my room. It was after supper and there was nothing on the local television. I decided I would just take a bath and hit the hay early. Before I got the chance to run the water. Alex was at my door.

“Do you want to go for a walk Christine?” He asked. “Maybe grab a coffee?”

“Umm, sure just let me get my shoes on.” I said. He waited patiently.

When we were far enough from the hotel. He grabbed me in his arms and started kissing me. I wish things weren’t so complicated between us.

After a nice long walk, we headed back to the hotel. When we got there we noticed several girls running down the hallway. Great! These players were terrible. It was like they had a harem of women sex slaves in every city we went to. It was maddening to me. I felt that what they were doing with these guys reflected bad on all girls, not just them.

I invited Alex into my room. I really didn’t want him going back to his room. I knew the guy he was rooming with was a huge player with the ladies. He probably had several in his room with him. He had a girlfriend back home also.

As much as it bothered me to witness what the guys were doing, I always kept my mouth shut. I had no choice. They were my teammates. I had to back them up, whether I agreed with what they were doing or not. Only another player could understand the commitment and bond to each other we all had.

I decided to run my bath. While I was getting it ready I heard Alex’s cell phone ring. I listened at the door.

“On Wednesday?” I heard him say ”What happened? That’s brutal. See you then.” He hung up the phone. He knocked on the bathroom door. I knew what he was going to tell me before he even started to speak.

“You’re leaving again aren’t you?” I asked him sadly.

“Yes, I might be in Providence for a while this time Hun?” He lowered his head almost feeling guilty.

“Alex, this is a good thing, don’t be sad.” I told him. “I’ll miss you, but your career is the priority right now. This is good for you.” I teased him “You’re playing with the big boys now.”

He looked at the bath tub filling up and smirked. I suppose I was more ready now then I had been. This didn’t mean we had to have sex. I could share a bath with him. It might be romantic. Besides I didn’t know how long he would be gone. I didn’t want to waste a moment. I nodded my head. He was out of his clothes and into the tub before I even took off my t-shirt. I giggled.

“You’re such a loser!” I smiled, then finished undressing.

“Wow, you have the hottest body I have ever seen Christine.” He complimented, starring up at me from the bath tub. “I’m glad you cover it up. I wouldn’t want anyone else to notice how smoking hot you really are.”

I rolled my eyes and climbed into the tub with him. He scrubbed my back, it was nice. We laid in the tub holding each other for a while. We kissed tenderly. I told him I still wasn’t ready for anything else. He said he was fine with that. With me, he had the patience of a saint. I know that he had a bad reputation as a womanizer, but with me he was always gentle, kind and loving.

After our bath, he decided he wanted to brush my hair for me. It was different, but I liked it. He even tried to braid it. What a guy! I think he enjoyed playing with my hair. We cuddled in bed for a while, then I noticed the time. He had been breathing heavily into my ear. I knew he had been sleeping for a while.

“Alex, you better go back to your room. It’s 3:00 a.m.” I nudged him awake. I had laid awake my mind racing with so many thoughts.

“Give me another hour Chrissy, then I’ll sneak into my room.” He whispered. I stayed awake to make sure he would wake up in an hour. He needed the sleep, he was playing. I was only watching from the stands.

Once again it was my turn to be a healthy scratch. I played with his hair while he slept. I took in his wonderful, intoxicating smell. It was musky. I liked it. He rolled over onto his back and I traced his chest with my finger. I leaned my head closer to his chest and softly kissed him. He opened his eyes.

He flipped me over onto my back quickly, then he was suddenly on top of me. Kissing my lips, neck then moving down to my stomach. I felt tingly all over. Electricity flowed between us. It was the most intense make out session we ever had. He left me breathless.

He kissed my forehead “I love you.” He told me smiling as he was getting ready to leave.

“I love you more.” I blew him a kiss. He left my room and snuck back to his.

The game against Erie was brutal for me to watch from the stands. It was a chippy game. Lots of fights and lots of penalties called. I wanted to be out there on the ice with them. McAvoy did also. It was hard for him. He had been out since the start of the season. It looked as though he was almost ready to get back out there. Coach told him to see how practices went this week. If all was well, he would play the following weekend.

It would work out nicely, because Alex would be gone. We beat Erie in an overtime win. Joe got the game winner. Joe had impressed me lately. He seemed to be on a bit of a point spree. Good for him!

On the bus ride back to Toronto, I rotated seats between Moose, Coop and Wellie (Welsh). It was a long grueling ride. I couldn’t wait to get back and sleep in my own bed. Well.... it was the Peat’s bed but it was mine for the season.

People were talking about the up coming Christmas break and possible trades. I prayed Coach wouldn’t trade me. I would hate to have to go through getting to know another team. It was brutal the first time around and I went through a shitload to prove myself to these guys before they started to accept me.

There was a possibility that Alex would get traded. He had a no trade clause in his contract with Toronto, but he could always wave it. We had discussed it. I told him to do what was best for him and his career. Not to worry about me. I was tough and could survive a long distance relationship.

When Moose and I arrived home, the Peats greeted us with a huge breakfast. They were so sweet and thoughtful. Cathy and me discussed how the Saginaw game was and how nice it was to see my family. She asked me if I was going home for the week I had off for Christmas. I told her yes I was, and I was looking forward to it.

She told Moose and myself that her and Harry would be leaving the next day to go down east to visit her son and his family for a week but they would be back before we left for the Christmas break.

She was worried about leaving me there with Moose because of the stalker. I told her not to worry. He hadn’t been around and maybe the police being called had scared him off. I figured he was just a fan that didn’t like the fact a girl was playing in the league. Moose reassured them that he was capable of babysitting me. I smacked him for the comment. Everyone laughed.

Alex was leaving Wednesday for Providence. The Peats were leaving Tuesday morning. I asked Alex to spend the night. Moose was going to stay at his girlfriend’s place to give us some privacy. Before Moose left he gave me the birds and the bees lecture again. He was too funny. I had no intention of having sex yet. Making out sure, just not sex.

I decided to try and cook dinner for Alex on Tuesday night. I made a meatloaf. It turned out a little dry. He pretended to like it. It was adorable. It tasted terrible and I knew it. I decided to order a medium pizza. He was thankful for that. He told me I needed to practice cooking with Cathy, so I would know how to cook when we got married. I laughed at the thought of marriage. I was only sixteen. Although I looked and acted older, and was treated as an adult; the reality was I wouldn’t be seventeen for another week and a half.

We had a wonderful night together. I loved him very much. The chemistry the two of us had was undeniable. That night we talked about the future. He was hoping to be playing in the NHL the following year for Boston. He wanted to know how I would handle the situation. I told him not to worry about the future, to live in the present and take one day at a time. I didn’t want to rush anything. He was the first and only boy I had ever been with. I needed time to adjust to it all.

Hunted like Prey

Wednesday morning, I didn’t want to say goodbye to Alex. I was going to seriously miss him.

“Just because you’re not going to be in my arms, doesn’t mean that you won’t be in my heart Christine,” he said sweetly.

“Wow, that’s all you got? Alex, that was really corny.” I laughed. He did also. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

I wished him luck, although I knew he would play great for Providence. Boston was lucky to have a talented all around player like Alex. It was hard to see him go, although it was best for both of us for the moment. We both had bright futures ahead of us. We needed to have this break and explore our talent.

I decided to take a shower. While I was getting dressed in my room, I noticed that my bedroom window had been broken somehow. It was cracked by the lock. I didn’t know how recently it had happened. Maybe it had always been cracked, and I just never noticed it before? I fidgeted with the lock for a minute, trying to figure out how it got broken. I mentioned it to Moose, and he didn’t know whether or not it had been previously broken. We sluffed it off. The Peats weren’t around to ask.

The day passed as like any other day. I had to ask Myles during practice if he overdosed on stupid this morning. He was completely out of it.

“Partied last night. Hung over, not my fault.” He snapped.

“Poor alcohol, it gets blamed for everything doesn’t it.” I teased and skated away.

I hung out with my new girlfriends from school after practice. We went out for dinner, then hung around the movie theater trying to agree on a movie to watch. I was enjoying myself. We decided on the new horror flick. I am not a big horror movie fan but went with the majority choice.

When I got home some of my teammates were still there playing Xbox. It was past curfew and Moose had been trying to shew them out. I laughed.

“Alright you guys, time to leave now.” I blurted out. I heard a few groans and moans, but they all left. Moose didn’t like kicking the guys out. I had no issues on that front. Some of them could be annoying.

I raced Moose to see who got the shower first. He won but like a gentleman he offered it up to me first. I was grateful. After we were both fresh and clean, we sat on the couch and talked for a while. It was almost 1:30 in the morning. I was starting to yawn. I excused myself and crawled into bed.

I was restless in my bed. I could have sworn I saw shadows on my wall. Sinister shadows. I thought maybe I was dreaming. I fell back asleep. I kept hearing weird sounds. Creaking and crackling. I got out of bed and wandered around the basement, but saw nothing out of place. I opened Moose’s door, he was sound asleep, snoring away. So it hadn’t been him. I figured I was paranoid from the scary movie I had gone to see with my girlfriends. I went back to sleep.

Something jolted me awake. Something terrifying. There was someone outside my bedroom window. I was sure of it. I panicked and reached for the light on my nightstand. I couldn’t find it. I knew it was there, I was fumbling to much to reach the switch. I felt in the dark around the floor of my bed. I needed something to use as a weapon. I found my voice and started screaming at the top of my lungs.

He was crawling through the window, and he had one foot on my bedroom floor. Moose came running into my room with a baseball bat. He started smacking the guy with it. He must have hit him in the head because something sprayed onto the wall. The guy wormed himself back out through the window and took off. Moose chased after him, but was unable to catch him. I was on the telephone with the 911 operator when he came back. I was still sitting in the dark on my cell phone when he flipped on the light.

“He got away, but I definitely hit him hard. Look on the wall there’s blood.” He pointed to the splatter.

When the police arrived they took both our statements. I already had a case file for my stalker. I gave them that case number. I didn’t want to wake the coach up, but Moose insisted on calling him. I didn’t want this to affect my spot on the team. I was pacing back and forth when coach arrived at the house. The police had a team searching in my room for clues, and a group of them were searching the streets. They figured if Moose had hit him hard enough to bleed like that, then he might not have gotten far.

I was more worried about my spot on the team. I didn’t want this to cause problems for me. I know I should have been more concerned for my life. However, hockey was my life. Ben assured me that the situation had no bearing on my team spot. It was something that happened from time to time. We would all deal with it the same way they had in the past. He told me the team and the staff were there for me. I need not worry.

I was a nervous wreck until the morning, when the police called us to tell us they had finally caught the guy. I was relieved.

Apparently, he was upset that I was playing in the OHL. He wanted to teach me a lesson. Make an example out of me, so no other girl would want to play in the OHL again. He was an obsessed hockey fan. When the police searched his apartment they found photographs of me that spanned the last few months. That proved he had been following me for a while. The guy was certifiably insane.

Coach had to report the incident to the league, and the team owner. There was a write up in the local newspaper about it. It also made the news. Not the best way to get known in the sports world. However, at least the situation was handled well.

Some people were making a big deal out if it because I was a girl. Of course the questions arose about whether it was politically correct for a girl to be playing in the OHL. I gave a few interviews on the subject. The public seemed to be split on the issue. The only thing they seemed to agree on was that I was definitely a good enough player to be playing in the league. I didn’t care about the rest as long as they felt that way about me I was alright with it.

My father and Alex were relieved to hear about the police catching the stalker. The judge sentenced the guy for break and enter and stalking. He got three and a half years. I wished he had gotten more. He actually wanted to have Moose charged for hitting him in the head with a bat. That wasn’t going to happen. He was placed in the mental ward so he could get some help.

The situation became a big joke in the locker room.

“Coop, has been stalking you Chrissy. He installed a camera into the vent in your room.” Wellie badgered me with repeated jokes.

It was all in good fun. It was just the way we all dealt with it. Moose wasn’t my hero, instead I praised his baseball bat. I even made it a red cape. I hung the bat on the wall above my bed. He found that terribly amusing.

It bothered me that Alex wouldn’t be in town to celebrate my 17th birthday with me. I would have liked that. I didn’t make a big deal out of the fact that it was my birthday to the guys, or to the Peats.

My birthday was on a Saturday and we didn’t have any games or practices this weekend. I figured, maybe I would just be having a nice quiet dinner with the Peat’s and Moose. That was enough for me.

On Friday, flowers and a gift arrived from my family. It was a new hockey book that I wanted to read. It was written by an ex-NHL player. Inside the card was $200.00. It was from my parents and my brothers. I thought that was nice of them. I knew money was still tight at home. It was unexpected to see that amount. I would have to call them and thank them.

Moose gave me a gift certificate to a really nice clothing store worth $50.00. I gave him a great big hug and kiss. The Peats also gave me a gift certificate to the mall. It was a $150.00 gift card, to be used at any store in the mall. I appreciated all the gifts. It was very nice of them.

The team and coaches all wished me happy birthday at practice on Friday afternoon. They had all signed a card for me.

I was looking forward to a nice dinner tonight. Mrs. Peat had made spaghetti for us, I really loved her sauce. She even got me a Boston cream cake. It was delicious.

After dinner Moose asked me to come with him to the movie store to grab a movie. I agreed, it would be nice to just relax in front of the tube. He wanted to stop by his buddy’s place to pick up a new video game. I was planning on waiting in the car. He told me he might be a while, so I should come in with him.

When I walked into the house, the team was there and scared me half to death when they yelled surprise. That was completely unexpected, and I knew it was Moose who planned it all out. I gave him a big hug. It was heartwarming for him to do this for me.

Alex called me during the party to wish me a happy birthday. I missed him a lot. We shared something special.

We partied late into the night. I drank way too much. I knew I would feel it in the morning, but it was worth it. I had an amazing time.

On Tuesday, an unexpected gift arrived by courier from Providence. It was a birthday gift from Alex. It was a beautiful gold bangle. It must have cost him a fortune. It was a double woven bangle; with a white gold bow separator in the center, and a box clasp. I called him right away to thank him for it. It really was the best birthday I had ever had.

We won our next few games, which placed us in the top of our division in the OHL. Our Christmas break was going to be two weeks before Christmas, and we would have to be back in Toronto to play a game on Boxing day.

I was getting excited for the Christmas break. I missed my family, even my brothers. That was hard to admit. I bought them all a little something for Christmas. I didn’t have a lot of money so it wasn’t much.

Moose and I exchanged gifts before we left. I bought him a t-shirt with a drinking saying and he got me a gift certificate to a local sex shop. He fell to the floor laughing when I opened it. I could just imagine the expression that was on my face when I saw it. I would hide that in my drawer. I might find the courage to actually use it one day. Moose was too much. Such a great sense of humor. I loved that about him.

Cathy and Harry Peat bought me some bath and body items as well as gave both Moose and myself $100.00 gift card for the local mall.

I called Alex and informed him I was leaving to go home. I wished that I could spend Christmas with him. I mentioned to him that he would get his gift when I saw him next. I had bought him a pocket watch and had it engraved with ‘Always follow your dreams, Love you always Christine’. I hoped that he would like it. I really didn’t know what else to get for him. Especially when he told me all he wanted was me.

Going Home Again

My family met me at the airport in Detroit, and we drove home to Dryden. The house seemed different to me. Smaller somehow. It was nice to be home though. It smelt the same, looked the same, yet something was different now. Maybe I was the one who was changed? I had grown up a lot since I had been away. More mature. I was looking at things differently now. Everyone went about their normal routine. I think we had exhausted ourselves with the miss you’s, on the drive home from the airport. There was nothing else left to say. We celebrated our Christmas the next night. This way I could enjoy it with them. It was nice to sit around with my family talking and catching up.

The day after our mini Christmas celebration, I called up a few of my friends to let them know I was home. Rachel invited me to a party in the next town. I decided it might be fun to go to a party with all my old school friends.

She picked me up at 8:00 o’clock and we drove to the party. She filled me in on all the town gossip. She and all my other friends were now into partying and having casual sex. I shook my head. I couldn’t believe it. In the short time I had been gone, my friends had completely changed.

She asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told I did. I didn’t go into details about it though. I didn’t need rumors flying around. I just said he was someone I met in Toronto and that he had just turned twenty and hot.

I replied “No.” When she asked me if I had sex with him yet. I told her I just wasn’t ready. She couldn’t understand why I was waiting. I didn’t want to insult her and tell her, because I’m not a slut. So I just didn’t respond. I knew everyone was doing it; it was happening at my school up in Toronto as well. I just didn’t want to jump into bed with random guys.

There were a lot of jocks at the party. Guys I recognized from school. The ones who thought I was weird for playing hockey. They were crowded around me now, asking me a million and one questions. They were all flirting with me. They mentioned they had seen some of my game footage on YouTube and one of my interviews. They asked me if I had an agent now. I confirmed that indeed I did have one.

I wasn’t use to getting this kind of attention from these guys. I was dumbfounded that playing hockey for a major junior team could bring so much celebrity. It made me feel awkward. These were people who didn’t want to give me the time of day before. Now all of a sudden, they were taking pictures with me and talking like we had always been best friends.

A few of the girls at the party seemed a little jealous and started making comments. I just ignored it. I was used to ignoring rude people like that by now. I sluffed it off most of the time. Tried not to let it get to me.

We played a few drinking games, but I was being careful with how much I drank. I didn’t want to do anything I regretted.

My phone buzzed while I was at the party. It was Alex. It was so nice to hear from him. I missed him greatly. He was not only my boyfriend but my best friend. He was happy I was out having a good time. He offered to fly me out to visit him during the week. He wanted to have our own little Christmas celebration. Just the two of us. I informed him that wouldn’t be the best idea. It would surely upset my parents. I really did want to go, he knew that.

It was getting on 1:00 a.m., and Rachel was to drunk to stand. She didn’t want to leave the party, and I didn’t want her driving me in her condition. I called my father. He came and picked me up. He was not happy about having to do this in the middle of the night. He was however, glad that I was smart enough not to drink and drive, or to get into a vehicle with people who were.

The week was passing slowly. I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be back in Toronto. Everything had changed since I left. My friends, the town was different, even my house and family seemed different. I felt more at home living with the Peats. Had I really changed that much? I seemed to be on a different level of maturity than my friends. I looked at things much differently now. It didn’t make them wrong or me right. Just changed! Maybe part of it was the age difference between Alex and myself. Or my friendship with Moose. Both of them were twenty. Much older than I was. Yet! I seemed to get along with them the most. We seemed to be on the same level of maturity. I couldn’t see myself with any of the guys my age. They were much to immature for me. My mother always said I was older than my years.

I missed my teammates and my new friends. I couldn’t wait for the week visit to be over. I was debating whether or not to take Alex up on his offer. I wondered what kind of excuse I could give my parents for leaving. I called Alex to see if he was serious. He said he was. I told him give me a few hours I had to convince my parents.

I lied, sort of. It wasn’t so much of a lie, as it was an exaggeration. I told them that I had been invited to Providence. I didn’t say Alex was the one who invited me. Opps! I explained to them that Providence was the farm team for the Boston Bruins. I mentioned that I wanted to check them out. One of my teammates was presently called up, playing with them. He had offered me the spare room in his apartment. I expressed to them that I really felt I should go. It was a good thing for my future. They said go then.

I called Alex back right away. He booked me on a flight that night. That gave me three days to spend with him. I was looking forward to it.

Alex picked me up at the airport, the flight was only two hours. When he saw me, he grabbed me up in his arms and swung me around. He was so happy to see me. We drove to the apartment he shared with one of his teammates. An older player who was twenty-seven. He introduced us, then threw me over his shoulder and carted me off to his bedroom.

After a long make out session. We talked about what we both had been up to. I expressed to him my worries about being traded. The fear of having to start over again with a new team. He assured me coach wouldn’t trade me. I was too valuable a player. It looked like he would be staying in Providence for the rest of the season. Coach would definitely have to make some last minute trades.

He had a game that night. I was excited to check out the barn and watch him play. I sat with the other girlfriends and wives. They were all great. I liked them a lot. They were interested to know what it was like for me playing hockey with the guys. I missed most of the first period, because they kept me talking.

After the game I was contemplating if I wanted to take Alex and my relationship to the next level. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that yet. I decided the right thing to do, would be to just go with the flow. See how the night went, and then make a decision then. He had no idea I was considering a step like that. I also didn’t let on that I was.

I missed him a lot. I was completely in love with him. It wasn’t like he was some guy I was just going to jump into bed with. We cared about each other. I knew that having sex for the first time, was something that was only going to happen once. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t something I regretted.

I knew that if I decided to have sex with Alex tonight, I was 100% positive I would not regret that it was with him. I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. I had gotten the needle so I didn’t have to deal with my periods during hockey season. I was however, a little concerned about the women he had been with. I know that he told me he had been tested a few weeks ago and everything had come back clean. I wasn’t sure that was enough for me. If I was going to have sex, I would make sure that he used a condom as well.

That evening we took a steamy shower together. We explored each other’s bodies with the soap and our hands. He washed my hair and I washed his. My heart was racing the entire time. There were feelings fluttering through me that I did not recognize. Butterflies were swirling inside my stomach. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and placed my lips onto his. Softly at first, then more forceful as our lips parted. His hard wet body contoured against mine. His hands exploring my body as we kissed more passionately.

He step out of the shower and grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around me. Then he swung me up into the air and cradled me off to his room, placing me gently on the bed. He removed the towel off me and laid down beside me.

He traced my body with his fingers sending chills down my spine. First my chest and breasts, then he traced around my stomach and down to my hips. I couldn’t take it any more. I was about to fall all to willing victim to his magical touch. I surrendered to him with a moan. The night was perfect.

I woke up in the morning feeling stiff, but not sore. I was laying across his chest, his arms wrapped around me tightly. I glanced up at his face. He was still sleeping. His mouth was turned up into a smile. It was the best night of my life. I hoped that he enjoyed it as much as I did. It was certainly going to be more difficult to leave him, now that I had allowed myself to love him so completely like this.

Then like a thousand lightening bolts hit my heart at once, it sunk. What now? He was staying in Providence. Boston had signed him to a contract. There wasn’t going to be another opportunity for us to be together for months. Could I handle that kind of separation? Could he? What if he left me for an older more sophisticated woman? He was gorgeous, smart and talented. It’s not like older women weren’t throwing themselves at his feet. Would he want me anymore?

Maybe Moose had been right? What if he was only being this way until he got what he wanted? Last night he certainly got that. I shuttered. I couldn’t think like that. I had to block that out of my mind.

What if this, what if that. I had to look on the bright side. I loved him, and I knew he loved me. That was all that mattered. There was movement under me as he started to wake up.

“Good Morning Beautiful.” He greeted me.

I starred into those deep green eyes of his “Good Morning.”

“Last night was amazing. Nothing will ever compare to that.” He smirked. “How are you feeling Love?”

“I feel great.” I was certain that I had made the right choice for me. It was magical. He moved to get up, and I protested. He laughed.

“I guess you are keeping me prisoner in bed today,” he teased.

“You guessed correctly.” I giggled then threw myself at him taking full control of the situation in the bedroom.

An hour later he declared. “Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better you attack me like that.”

“I don’t want to leave.” I moaned. “I wish I could say here like this forever.”

“I don’t want you to leave either Hun, but you have to get dressed, or you’re going to miss your flight.” He reasoned. “Don’t worry Chrissy, we have a lifetime together to have nights like this.”

I growled “Grrr, fine, I’ll get dressed.”

He chuckled ”Did you just growl at me?”

I nodded yes, as I slide off the bed, so unwillingly that my body was almost slumped over itself.

“Stop pouting, you’re to irresistible when you do that.” He pulled me back down on top of him. I had only managed to get one leg in my jeans. I laid there beside him as I finished pulling them on.

“What am I going to do with you?” He shook his head.

“I really don’t know Alex, but I do recall a night that you promised to keep me forever.” I snickered.

“Oh, I intend to Christine. I intend to.” He declared.

After we were both dressed I finished packing. I realized that I hadn’t given him his Christmas gift. I pulled it out of my bag. He loved it. Then he handed me mine.

I ripped the paper off quickly and then noticed it was a small jewelry box. I opened the top and inside was a diamond ring. What the hell? I looked up at him in shock.

He looked up at me with nothing but love in his eyes. “It’s not an engagement ring Christine. They call this a promise ring. It means that one day I would like to be engaged and marry you.”

“But Alex, I’m only seventeen.” I choked. “Engaged, married, those things aren’t even on my mind yet.”

“Christine I understand that you’re only seventeen. For me to give this to you, just means that I will be faithful to you. I will wait for you until you’re ready for marriage.” He explained. “If you will accept it that is?”

I nodded my head up and down. He grinned then slid the ring on my finger.

“You know this means you have to take our relationship public now.” He insisted. ”I want everyone to know that your heart is spoken for.”

I took his head in my hands and kissed his lips. I figured that would answer his question.

He sat down in front of his computer and changed his Facebook relationship status to in a relationship with me. He motioned for me to sit on his lap. I didn’t have a choice. He made me log onto my account and accept it. Within 30 seconds of me accepting it, two of our teammates started to chirp their comments. We both laughed.

I changed my profile picture to a cute new one taken of me and him after last night’s game. Then changed my status to ‘Leaving Rhode Island, had the most amazing week with Alex, heading back to Toronto’. Then I logged off.

I thanked his roommate Steve, for being so welcoming. As I was leaving, I asked Steve to keep an eye on Alex for me with a wink. Alex and I drove to the airport.

Our airport goodbye was caught on camera by some Bruins fan. Great! That would be up on YouTube before I even boarded the plane. Alex seemed amused by the idea. He had wanted our relationship public from the beginning. Now that he was no longer on the Gophers, it was acceptable for us to be together. Many of the older guys in the league had younger girlfriends and the younger guys seemed to have older girlfriends. It was odd if you stopped to think about it. I think maybe it balanced out the relationships. When you’re young in the situation us rookies are you tend to need that extra guidance so you seek out a relationship with an older person. Yet the older guys seemed to need that carefree spirit in their relationships. Hmm, food for thought.

My mind was a million miles away during the flight to Toronto. I replayed the entire visit with Alex in my head. At this moment I was the happiest girl in the world. I had everything I wanted.

Alex had given me cab money to get back to the Peats house. I was looking forward to seeing them. I missed them over the holidays.

I arrived a day before Moose did. He already knew about Alex and I going public. He had commented on my relationship status on facebook.

Over the holidays two players were traded. In return, we were getting a solid forward from Plymouth. I was just relieved that I wasn’t part of the trades.

Mrs. Peat ogled over my promise ring. She told me that she thought Alex and I would make a great couple. Moose ripped me bad about it. I had to hand it to him, he was great with the chirps.

Over the next few months I busted my butt. I was third in points on the team with 42 goals and 48 assists. I was really getting into the grove of it all. I was totally adsorbed in the hockey live style. Looks like we were heading to the playoffs, and my relationship with my teammates was stronger than ever.

Alex and I managed to maintain healthy communication. I felt confident in our relationship. I hadn’t heard anything to make me suspect he was anything but the perfect boyfriend.

I was looking forward to my first Playoffs. We faced Kingston in the first round. I knew we would take them. We just couldn’t go in overconfident because in Playoffs – anything can happen.

We were out of the playoffs in the second round. Belleville had knocked us off in five games. That was the end of the season for us.

Back in the beginning of March we had our team dinner, and I won fan favorite. To me it was a great honor. It made me feel accepted by all the fans. It was close between Joe and myself for OHL Rookie of the Year, but he got that one. I did get most improved player which made me happy. I was also mentioned as a consideration for CHL rookie of the year.

I was sad to say goodbye to my new family. I would miss them terribly. I now had a contract with Toronto, and was more confident in my future because of it. The Peats would be billeting me next season. Moose would be moving on to the ECHL. He was going to play for the South Carolina Stingrays. I was happy for him.

After our team party, I packed my things and sent them home. I didn’t accompany them. Instead I flew to Providence to stay with Alex. They still had games ahead of them. Their season always started later than the OHL. Alex was ecstatic that I was coming to stay with him. I wondered how it would affect our relationship.

It was weird sitting in the stands, game after game with the girlfriends and wives. Listening to them talk about the puck bunnies that were making their lives miserable. I did question them, if they had heard anything about Alex. They told me that he had been good. They had nothing bad to say. They did point out one girl in particular, who seemed to have her eye on him.

She noticed me looking at her and gave me the finger. Yup the middle finger! I gasped. Sarabella, Mike’s wife huffed when she saw what the girl had just done.

“Now there’s class for ya! And they wonder why everyone thinks they are trash.” She ranted.

I shook my head in disbelief. I had seen a lot on the road, but never once had I seen a puck bunny give a girlfriend the finger for no reason. I laughed in disbelief. She was some blonde, not a very attractive girl.

I turned back to Sarabella and whispered. “You know if you rearranged the letters in Love is Blind, you get Blonde is Evil.”

She busted a gut laughing. What made it more humorous is that her and I were both blondes. The others looked curious as to what we were laughing about.

Sarabella informed me that girl had a website dedicated to her hockey exploits. Guys she was targeting and her sexual fantasies for each of the players. She talked about guys she had slept with, but didn’t mention names. She would just describe them and the sex.

I couldn’t believe someone would be proud of things like that. Announce it to the world. People like that are obsessed and need some kind of therapy.

Then Megan pointed out there was another self proclaimed puck bunny who had a website. It was completely dedicated to hockey players and puck bunnies. She said the girl was not attractive, but boasted about how pretty she was. Then she would diss the puck bunnies in one breath and in the next stick up for them. She had this website, a twitter, Facebook, MySpace all dedicated to how she stalked hockey players and hockey rinks. She traveled around Canada and the United States just to hook up with hockey players. She declared herself hockey’s biggest fan and biggest hockey rink stalker. She probably knew more about them than the FBI or CIA.

I couldn’t understand how someone could be so consumed by what was happening in the world of hockey, that they would make it their life in that way. I suppose if you had no other talent other than being a professional stalker, and yearning for your 5 minutes of fame - then maybe that type of life would suit you fine.

I mean seriously, who wakes up one morning and says to themselves - today I have decided to devote my life to stalking hockey players and hockey rinks. Really! What kind of mental defect would you have to have to do that? I can understand young teens doing that, but adults? I’m not talking about devoted fans here. Not the fans that like to hit the road and cheer on the team and get right involved. I love those fans. We all love those fans. I’m talking about crazy people who would openly admit to the things the girls were telling me. As if this girl would announce she would be stalking a rink near you. Megan claimed that was a saying of hers. That to me, is just creepy. As creepy as the guy who stalked and wanted to kill me.

We all look up to celebrities, in a sense. We all have our heroes, our crushes, our mini fixations, but some people can take it a little too far.

I couldn’t see myself making my life about stalking Toby Chalke. That would be weird and psychotic. Just the thought was ridiculous. Delusional maybe, no that couldn’t cover that sort of thing. Schizophrenic maybe? Whatever it was, she certainly had some screws loose. That I was sure of.

I could just imagine my parents faces when they asked me what my goal in life was. Well Mom, father, I have decided to dedicate my life to stalking people. Oh, how proud they would be of me.

I burst out laughing loudly, absorbed in my thoughts about this professional stalker. The girls all looked at me. “I’m just processing what you told me about the professional stalker.”

“Seriously, she makes a living at it. She gets paid to promote things on her website.” Megan explained. “Just goes to show you, everyone can have their five minutes of fame, if they are willing to make a spectacle of themselves.”

“How can you justify that as a life?” I was laughing so hard I actually snorted which made me laugh harder.

“I am obsessed with hockey; I play it, but I have no clue what’s happening with anything that doesn’t concern me.” I couldn’t understand it. It was mind boggling.

The girls agreed with my thinking on the subject. There was something odd about Megan though. She was a little to enthusiastic about how she was talking about this professional stalker. There was just something unsettling about it. I liked Megan, but something about her seemed a little off.

Between periods Sarabella and I decided to walk around the rink and look at the souvenir stands. A little girl, about ten years old approached me with her camera.

“Are you Christine Matthews?” She asked meekly.

“Yes, I am.” I smiled warmly at her.

“Can I take a picture with you? You’re my hero.” she said shyly. She was adorable and completely touched my heart. No one had ever called me their hero before.

“Sure you can.” The girl handed me her camera and I turned to Sarabella. “Would you mind?” I asked, and handed her the girl’s camera. She snapped two pictures in case one didn’t turn out.

The girl asked if she could hug me and of course I said yes. Then I signed her jersey for her. She was wearing my number 16, and it was her team jersey. She told me she played hockey and one day wanted to be as good as me. I felt honored. I told the girl if she worked hard and never gave up, then she to could achieve her dreams.

“See that’s a life,” Sarabella reasoned. “You inspire young children and adults to follow their dreams.” She went on “What does the professional stalker do? Inspire crazy people to stalk for a living.”

I ignored her comment. I was over the subject now. Drama and me didn’t mix well.

“What a sweet little girl.” I was so touched. “See that’s what it’s all about, doing what you love and inspiring people.”

“I like you Christine, you are wise for your years,” she praised. “Alex is lucky to have you in his life.”

I smiled “Thanks Sarabella. I enjoy your company as well. I think you’re great.”

I decided I would mention my feelings about Megan to her. “Sar, what is your take on Megan?”

“She’s a little strange, I don’t trust her at all. She is a character. She has some issues, but she’s sometimes fun to hang out with. She’s dated quite a few players that I know of.” She informed me.

“Yeah, I got that feeling about her,” I said as we walked back to our seats to enjoy the rest of the game.

I told Alex about my encounter with the little girl after the game. He thought it was sweet.

If Providence lost their next game, they would be out of the playoffs also. He wanted me to fly to Sudbury with him for a week to meet his family. I agreed.

Surprises

When we arrived in Sudbury, Alex told me that his entire family was there. It was his parent’s 40th wedding anniversary, and his family from all across Canada had come. He admitted that he waited to tell me, so I couldn’t back out. God it was scary how well he knew me. I would have found a reason not to come.

His mother told him she had been concerned about him dating someone so young, that was until she met me. After meeting me she told him she approved. I didn’t see what the big deal with age was. I was seventeen and he had only just turned twenty. My parents were three years apart and they have a great marriage.

His family welcomed me with open arms. I didn’t realize that he came from money. He had never mentioned it. His family owned several businesses, and his father was a doctor. He had two older sisters and one older brother. Unlike me, he was the baby of the family. One of his sisters and his brother ran the family businesses. The other sister Sharon worked in a law office.

His sister, Maureen, the one who ran the family business; seemed to be the only family member who didn’t like me. She didn’t hide the fact either. I had overheard her telling her mother that she didn’t feel I was good enough for Alex. It made me a little uncomfortable. I didn’t say anything to Alex about what I had heard Maureen say, because I didn’t want to make waves.

The party went well. It was nice to meet his relatives. I found out lots about him and what kind of a trouble maker kid he had been. Some of the stories were hilarious. He was a little bad ass.

I suppose every one eventually grows up and matures. Well most people do. Alex’s mother liked the way he was now. Thinking more about the future instead of living in the moment as he usually did. She said it was because of his love for me. I wasn’t sure about that.

We stayed in Sudbury for the week. I wanted him to meet my family, as my boyfriend this time. Although at my parent’s house the rules would be much different. He would have to stay on the couch in the basement, and respect old fashion rules. He said he would have no issues with that. I was grateful he was so understanding.

Mom was excited to meet him again. Dad was guarded; although he liked Alex when he had met him in Michigan at the Saginaw game. He just didn’t want me dating at all. He thought I was too young to have a serious boyfriend. The only thing he was happy about, was that at least Alex was an athlete.

Alex was the perfect gentleman when we visited my parents. He never touched, caressed or kissed me inappropriately in front of my family. He even sat through dad’s ‘I played tight end for Michigan’ stories for two hours. He pretended to show an interest and even asked questions. After that of course my father was in love with him. It was hard for me to get my father to leave him alone. Poor Alex. He suffered a great deal to prove to me how much he did love me.

Dad was impressed with Alex’s old fashion sense of how he was handling our relationship with the promise ring. Of course my father was under the assumption that meant I was still a virgin. He thought Alex was waiting for our wedding day.

Mom on the other hand, was a little more perceptive. She could tell that I was not her little girl anymore. She hinted around the subject, but I conveniently was able to change it each time. Must have picked those diversion traits up from living with Moose for a year.

I told my parents that they had to accept the fact that I was an adult. Although I was not yet eighteen, I had always been more mature for my age. I reminded them that I had been living away from home for a year now and things had changed drastically for me in the area of independence. They would have to deal with it. They couldn’t really argue much with me about it. They knew it was true. I also never got into trouble and was working towards my goal.

I went with Alex up to Boston for training camp in the spring. When he wasn’t at camp we trained together daily. He was working really hard to prove he deserved a spot on the roster. I was proud of him.

Working with him and some of the other guys was beneficial to me as well. I was now a lot stronger and faster. I had picked up many new moves. I knew that this would be my year to prove myself. It would be my draft year.

The time was now for me. Hockey careers only last so long. Camp was open to everyone. I sat down near the bench so I could retain the information the training staff was giving to the players. I didn’t have to be out there on the ice with them to learn new things. Alex and I practiced together booking ice time at a local community rink.

Once his training camp was finished, he had a month off. I don’t come from money, so we never really took vacations. Alex was used to traveling all over. He wanted to take me on a nice vacation south.

I leaped into his arms when he told me that he was taking me to Aruba. I had always wanted to go there. This would be my dream vacation. I was so looking forward to it.

I went out and bought a cheap underwater camera so I could take pictures when we went snorkeling. I wanted to contribute something to the vacation so I offered up my $1200.00 in savings. He refused to accept any money from me. Alex was old fashioned in that sense. It was nice to be treated like a princess by him. I tried not to complain too much about it.

We left on vacation from Boston, which meant I didn’t have all the correct type of clothes. I told Alex I needed to hit the mall before we left.

“Who needs clothes in Aruba. Wear your birthday suit.” Alex teased.

This was partly true. All I needed was a bikini. I would want to spend all my time at the beach. I loved water. I had never been to the ocean. This was exciting for me.

The flight from Boston to Aruba was just under five hours. I thought it would have been longer than that. Alex had offered up the window seat so I could see everything. We had a seat just behind the left wing of the plane.

As we approached Aruba I nudged him to lean over me and look. We seemed to be flying in so low. We could see right through the crystal blue waters.

Alex laughed and pointed out the window. “Look a shark! Right there.” I rolled my eyes at him. I didn’t see it, but he swore there was one.

We could see the entire island. It was breathtaking. I thought we were heading in for a landing, but the plane turned and headed back out to sea. Then it banked a hard left. It felt and looked like the left wing tip, which, of course was the side of the plane we were on was about to touch the ocean swells. It wasn’t though, we weren’t that low, it just seemed that way.

Then the plane straighten up and headed back towards the island. It felt like we might only be about twenty feet above the water as we approached the landing strip. I could see everything and everyone on the beach we just flew over.

I wondered if the runway was long enough. It felt to me like maybe we might skid right off the other side of the island. It didn’t look that big from the air. Then the plane touched down.

It was a perfect landing and the flight attendant came on over the loud speaker.

“Thank you for flying Delta Airlines, and we welcome you to Aruba. Local time is currently 11:54 a.m. Please keep your seat belts fastened and carry on items stowed until the seat belt sign is turned off. Please have all your travel documents ready for passing through customs inspection. Cell phone usage is prohibited inside the customs and immigration area. Also a reminder that check in is three hours prior to departure for return flights to the United States. We hope you enjoy your stay in Aruba.”

We breezed through customs quickly. They didn’t even say much to us. Just asked us what we had brought into the country and things like that. I figured they would have an issue because I was only seventeen not considered an adult by law. Alex and I had that covered. He was twenty, acting as my guardian. He found that to be quite humorous. He kept telling me on the plane that I had to obey him, because he was the boss. I showed him fast who the boss was. He shut up about it after that.

In the cab on the way to the hotel we drove beside the ocean. It was breathtaking. The blue sky seemed to almost melt into the crystal blue water. The beaches were white sand and inviting. The island itself was only 42 miles. It was spectacular. Their historic looking town had designer stores! I couldn’t believe it when we passed a Gucci store.

I could see the cruise ships out in the bay. They looked humungous and there were so many of them. I always wanted to go on a cruise. At least now I could see the ships up close.

I tapped Alex on the shoulder. “Look at that cool looking tree, all bent over like that. Weird.”

The taxi driver commented “We call that tree Watapana or the Divi-divi tree. It’s our tree.” He continued “they are bent like that because of the trade winds.”

“Cool, they are very unique looking.” I said.

“Thank you.” He said as if he had a hand in the growing and designing of the tree. Alex snickered beside me. I hit him in the gut to shut him up.

“Ha ha, check that out Chrissy, we need to do that.” He said pointing up in the air to someone being towed behind a boat up in a parachute.

“Go ahead, you can try it.” I told him “I’ll supervise from the boat.”

“You’re no fun,” he pouted; “please?”

“We’ll see, maybe if you get me drunk enough.” I teased.

I couldn’t believe the hotel we were staying at. It was magnificent. It was the Westin Resort right on Palm Beach. I turned to Alex when we walked in “How are you affording all this?”

“I did get a signing bonus sweetie,” he pointed out. Holding my hand tighter.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t spend the entire bonus on me.” I scolded.

“I didn’t Chrissy,” he chuckled. “I put all this on your credit card.” I had to laugh at that comment since I didn’t have one.

The hotel had nine restaurants to eat at, including one where you could eat right on the beach. He had booked us into a one bedroom ocean suite. It was the size of my parents house. Alright, maybe not, but it was huge.

I ran into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. He tipped the bellhop and ran into the room after me. I tackled him on the bed and actually ripped off his shirt.

I straddled him, and gave him the stink-eye “Now what were you saying on the plane about you being the boss?” I had him pinned down. “Looks like I am still the boss.”

“Kinky,” he laughed. He grabbed me and flipped me over onto my back. “But I don’t think so Love.” Needless to say we didn’t leave the room until morning.

In the morning during breakfast on our private balcony, he surprised me again giving me a present. It was a beautiful white gold chain and pendant of a hockey player. He said it was to bring me luck. As if he got me something else. Wasn’t Aruba enough?

“Are you trying to buy my love Alexander Reddrick?” I teased.

“But of course, I have to, I recall you telling me that you would never in a million years date a hockey player. I have to do something to get you to go out with me.” He teased.

“I would live with you in a hut in the middle of nowhere. As long as you and I could be together.” I kissed him. “I love my necklace Alex, I’ll wear it all the time.”

During our week in Aruba there was no limit to what he got me to try. Snorkeling, para-sailing, we skydived, I about lost my mind on that one. I screamed the entire jump. It was like I was living a fairy tale with my very own prince charming.

I didn’t want to leave. He had to get back to Boston for another camp. I had to prepare myself for my camp also. For us, our dreams were now at our finger tips. Together, we were unstoppable.

Back to Reality

When I arrived back home in Dryden, it felt like the summer with Alex had been a dream. I had to remind myself that it really did happen.

I spent the majority of my time at home with my family, and only a few close friends. I focused on my training. I ran up and down a course my father made for me out back. We had this huge hill in our back yard. It was very steep. He made me carry tires up and down the hill as many times as I could. Then I ran in and out of the pylons he placed all over the hill, as he and my brother’s aimed footballs at me. They kept trying to knock me down. I was running 3 miles a day.

I went to the rink in town for free skate when I could. I also booked my own rink time with two of my old teammates. They were both good players. They told me they were happy staying in the woman’s league. As long as they were happy, I was happy for them. I wanted more and they respected that.

I put on at least five more pounds of muscle. I don’t think I could get much bigger without looking bad. Right now I was perfect. I didn’t need to build any more. I focused on endurance.

I was excited and wanted to get back to Toronto for training camp, and see all the guys. I decided that I would make a surprise trip to Boston before heading to Toronto. I had made some money from a few endorsement deals I had done over the year.

I hoped that he would be happy about my surprise visit. When we talked he always moaned about how much he missed me.

I took a cab from the Boston airport to the teams apartment complex. I knocked on the door, Steve opened it. He didn’t look happy to see me standing there.

“Umm, Alex is sleeping Chrissy,” he said nervously. I could hear Alex laughing in the distance.

“I can hear him Steve.” I said pushing him out of the way. The laugh was coming from his bedroom.

I walked slowly up to the door. I glanced at Steve, he hung his head in shame. I knew what I would find once I opened the door. I couldn’t help myself. I flung it open. He was on web cam with some girl.

“What the hell is going on here?” I yelled. Alex jolted off the bed. He was naked.

“Holy shit! What are you doing here?” He had the nerve to bark at me.

“So this is how you behave when I’m not around?” I looked at the girl who was naked, on the computer, on her bed holding the blanket up to cover herself.

“And you, you filthy whore, why are you covering yourself? Probably every one on the planet has see you naked.” She didn’t even have the decency to turn off her web cam or cancel the video call, so I could argue with Alex without her watching and listening to us.

Alex noticed and quickly turned his off.

Tears swelled up in my eyes. “How dare you Alex.”I stormed out of the apartment. He got dressed quickly and chased after me; I could see him in the distance. I flagged a cab down and got in before he could catch up to me.

I turned my cell off. I was not going to forgive him for that. He had some nerve. I knew it was all too good to be true. He had probably been cheating on me the entire time. That was it for me. I was finished with guys who played hockey. I would honestly never date one again. Part of me kept telling myself it was only on web cam. It’s like him watching a porno. However, the other side of my brain won the argument. It was over between him and me.

At the airport I paid the $30.00 fee to change my flight. I boarded the plane and left Boston for Toronto.

I called Cathy from the airport. She didn’t care that I was two days early returning. When I got there I was still all shook up. I confided in her. Everything between Alex and I right up until I landed in Toronto. She couldn’t believe it.

She gave me the speech about guys being lonely and how, once near the beginning of her relationship with Harry; she had cheated on him. She reminded me that was worse then being with someone on web cam. It was weird that she opened up to me like that. She told me that it took her a long time to get him to forgive her. He was the man she loved and wanted to be with, and she was just going through a rough period in her life. She said maybe Alex was also.

She understood that I didn’t feel that way right now, but in time that I might be able to forgive Alex. I doubted that very much. It would always be something in the back of my mind. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. The nagging urge to check up on him to make sure he was being faithful. Forget that noise!

I took the promise ring off my finger and placed in on my night stand. I would mail it back to him the first chance I got. I had fifteen unanswered messages on my cell phone from him. That night he called Cathy and Harry’s four times. I deleted and blocked him from my Facebook account and my MSN.

He was still able to get emails through to me, and there was three waiting in my inbox. I deleted them without reading them.

I was going to focus on me and my hockey. I didn’t need to be worrying about guys. This was my draft year. It was very important to stay focused. I wondered who my new roommate would be. I hadn’t thought to ask Cathy.

I walked upstairs and sat in the living room with them.

“So who’s my new roomie this season?” I asked.

“We were told it would be Erik Wilson” Cathy said. “However, if that’s going to be an issue for you; I am sure it wouldn’t be a problem to switch the guys around.”

Great! Erik was Alex’s best friend. He would tell Alex everything I did. I could handle Erik. “No it’s not going to be a problem.” I assured them. Erik might have an issue but I won’t. I would just lay down the ground rules. He would not be allowed to mention Alex to me, around me, or display pictures of him and Alex.

Alex called the house every day for a week. Harry finally told him to give me some time. I mailed the promise ring back to him the day after I got back to Toronto. He had probably received it.

Erik arrived at the house about 6:00 p.m. on the Friday, to move his stuff in. The Peats were at the grocery store. I had to let him into the house. He picked me up into a bear hug.

“Hey Erik.” I said moving away from him.

“Hey Chrissy, So we’re roommates. That’s pretty cool,” he smirked.

“Listen before you even go there with me I want to clarify some rules.” I informed him. I knew Alex would have already told him what had happened between us.

“Rules?” He seemed confused and shocked.

“I don’t want you to speak to me about Alex. No pictures of you and him laying around the house, or anything like that. Do you understand?” I demanded an answer.

“Whoa, OK he screwed up big time, and he knows it Christine. If he could take it back he would. Just so you know he’s having a hard time right now also.” He declared. “I mean he didn’t really cheat on you. It’s not like he was with the girl. It was over the internet.”

“That’s to bad for him. Maybe he should have thought about that before he started going on camera for whores.” I turned and walked away.

The first day back to camp was grueling as usual. Coach busted our butts. Day two we completed our medicals, and then we had scrimmages the rest of the week. I was more focused then ever before. I was faster, stronger and a much better player. I had picked up a lot from watching the Boston Bruins NHL camp. I suppose I had Alex to thank for that.

Coach asked me to wear the A. I felt honored. I was only seventeen, it was only my second year with the team and I was a girl. It made me feel good to be the Assistant Captain. Wellie got the C. He was a good guy. Not sure if he would be close to the Captain Moose had been, but he was certainly “C” worthy.

I received emails and texts from Alex daily begging me for forgiveness. I was a catholic. I did believe in forgiveness, but this was something I just couldn’t forgive.

I did hear through the grapevine that he was staying up in Boston for the preseason. Even though I couldn’t forgive him, I was still glad to hear that he was doing well.

School was better this year. I already knew many people there. They were more accepting of me this year. I started to hang out with Lena more. She was missing Moose and was trying to transfer to a college in South Carolina or a company to sponsor her. She was a shoulder for me to talk about Alex.

She confided in me that she had caught Moose cheating twice, but that she had taken him back because she loved him dearly. She told me to reconsider taking Alex back.

“Are you his spokesperson?” I had asked her one day when she had been praising the way he was with me.

“You have to look at the bright side Chrissy, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel,” she tried to remind me.

“Sure thing, I’d love to find the light at the end of the tunnel, but I gotta find the tunnel first.” I shot back.

What she didn’t know, was that I was fully aware that Moose had cheated more than twice. It wasn’t on web camera either. I wouldn’t betray Moose in that way, but it was hard for me to sit there and listen to her about it. If I were to forgive Alex he would just do it again. I wouldn’t put up with that. NO WAY! I deserved better than that and I knew it. He knew it, and she knew it!

The preseason started off pretty much as it did the previous year. The welcome back dinner, meet & greet, team dinner and the famous Rookie party. It disgusted me more this year to watch the girls wander into the back room for their sex games. Now it was a more personal thing for me. I tried my best not to let it bother me. It just went against what I believed in.

I was still the only girl in the OHL. I had no one who could understand how I was truly feeling. No one to speak to about it. My head was full of these guy’s secrets. I could not betray them. I would like for once to have a least one girl who was in the same situation who could understand me.

I called Moose in South Carolina. I missed him immensely. He told me that he loved it down there. He would have preferred the AHL, but that he would work hard and hopefully get picked up. I knew he had more to say.

“Moose just spit it out.” I growled knowing full well he wanted to discuss Alex.

“Chris, it’s just that I have known Alex for about six years. I never saw him with anyone like he was with you.” He noted. “I know he loves you, yeah sure he screwed up. I think you should give him another chance. You know how hard it is for us guys. You have lived it with us. I know it’s not an excuse. You never cheated, but you’re a girl and most girls see things more clearly.” He stated.

“Moose I can not take him back.” I groaned. “Even if I wanted to I couldn’t. I would never be able to trust him. It would make me crazy always wondering.”

“At least talk to the guy before he does something stupid.” He informed me. “He’s been drinking a lot I heard, and he never was much of a drinker.”

“Fine, I’ll email him now, can we drop the subject please.” I moaned.

I didn’t know how to start the email to Alex. I had not read any of the ones he sent me. I had just deleted them as they showed up in my inbox.

Alex,

What you did was …. delete...

Alex,

What we had was ….. delete..

Alex,

You are the biggest..... delete....

God! This was harder than I thought. I just decided on saying hi.

Hey Alex ….send.

I decided to let him make what he could from that email. I had to get to practice. I couldn’t wait around for a reply. After practice we were all going bowling. Team bonding night.

Myles was picking on me all night. I know he was just joking around, but it was starting to get on my nerves. I started to mumble profanities under my breath. Trying to convince myself not to blow a fuse.

“Ha ha, are you talking to yourself over there Chrissy?” he beleaguered.

“Of course I am, how else am I suppose to have an intelligent conversation around here?” I shot back.

He knew when I was over my limit. He stopped the teasing right away, and put his arm around me giving me a slight hug.

When I got back home, I checked my email. Of course Alex didn’t take long in responding.

Christine,

I love you more than my own life. I think about you every day. You are everything to me. I was stupid. I got caught up in it all. It was wrong of me, I know that now. It will never happen again. I learned my lesson. Please forgive me. You are not only the love of my life, but also my best friend. I miss you. Please forgive me.

Love Alex

This email just upset me more. I was crusty all day long. I was about to take my anger out on him.

Alex,

I think about you everyday, granted; I’m fantasizing about how I’d like to kill you, but still thinking about you.

Let me know when you grow up. Maybe I’ll still be kicking around somewhere.

I left the email unsigned.

I walked out to the living room and plopped on the couch beside Erik. I could tell by his expression he was going to bring it up.

I put my hand up and said “Don’t Erik, if you value your nut sack”.

He smirked and turned his focus back to the television.

The season had gotten off to a great start for our team. We were 4-0. I was playing as hard as I could. I knew there would be lots of NHL scouts in the stands at our games. I wanted to make them aware that I had what it took.

My agent had gotten a hold of my scouting report. I read it.

Left wing, 5-9, 176 lbs; Toronto (OHL). Scouting report suggests she’s a good skater who is not afraid to go into heavy traffic and has a good shot, although doesn’t shoot as often as she could. Played in all situations has improved a lot over the last year.

Well at least it wasn’t a negative report. I had to take more chances out there. I would have to get a little selfish with the puck. Take the shots instead of passing the puck.

Alex and I were on talking terms. He was feeling lost and lonely. Boston had him being a human yo-yo, back and forth from Boston to Providence. He was feeling the stress. I did feel for the poor guy.

I told him in the last email “Awe you’re having a bad day, just think about this, you could have been swallowed!” That would put a smile on his face. I missed him so much. I wanted to forgive him, but I wasn’t ready to just yet.

I was ecstatic when I got the invite to the Top Prospects Game for January. I jumped up and hugged the coach. I was pretty sure that he had called in a few favors to get me that invite.

Many fans and critics still considered me a big joke. I would have liked to have been asked to be part of the World Juniors. I didn’t get an invited to camp for it in the summer, and I wasn’t asked when they sent out the selection invites in December either. It would have been nice to play for the USA. I was still not considered good enough in team USA’s eyes. It really bothered me.

I couldn’t wait to call Alex and tell him about the Top Prospects invite. He was still the first person I wanted to speak to when something good or bad happened in my life. That right there should tell me something. It was time to forgive him. That didn’t mean I had to take him back, but it meant that I had to let it go and not hold it over his head anymore.

“Congratulations Christine, That’s a huge deal.” Alex had said during our last telephone conversation.

“I know it is, thanks. I’m a little nervous about it though. Hopefully, all the scouts will see my talent, and maybe I will get drafted.”

“Christine, I’m sure someone will sign you, but the NHL. Well that’s another story. You’re a girl. I just don’t think any team would want to take a chance like that,” he explained.

“Alex, you’re the last person I thought would say something like that.” I screamed at him, extremely irritated. “I will talk to you later, Goodbye.” Then I hung up the phone.

I was ready to throw something. I had worked so hard. Why would he say something like that. For God’s sakes he played with me. He knew how talented I was. He knew I could handle it. I was mad. I decided to go for a run.

It was cold outside. Maybe, -20 degrees Celsius. I don’t know what it was with the wind chill, but man I had never felt cold like this before. It cut through my lungs. I had to take my scarf and wrap it around my entire face. There was no way I was going to be able to run far in this weather, I decided to go to the gym. I would get a much better work out. I couldn’t believe how cold it was. It wasn’t even snowing out. Just freezing cold.

I started working out. I was running on the treadmill, when my cellphone went off. I glanced at it to make sure it was someone worth interrupting my work out for. It was my coach.

“Chrissy, I just got word that you have been invited to be part of the United States World Junior Camp. They want you down there in two weeks. It’s just a camp to see who they want on the final roster. There were three injuries so they have invited you.” Ben explained.

I hit the red button on the treadmill and it stopped. “Are you kidding me?” I didn’t believe it. “I’m about to pass out right here.” I took a few deep breaths. “Thanks Coach.” I whispered still trying to catch my breath.

Some guys gathered around me to find out what was wrong.

I assured them. “Nothing, I was just invited to the U.S. World Junior Camp for final roster picking.”

A few of my teammates who were there at the gym congratulated me. I couldn’t finish my work out. I went back to the Peat’s house to tell them the good news and to call Alex, my parents and Moose.

My father was beyond excited. He was so proud. He didn’t care that meant I wouldn’t be home for Christmas. I reminded him that they might not choose me, that I was only invited to camp. I mentioned that he should not tell his friends, or our family because they most likely wouldn’t choose me. I reminded my parents that it was just an honor to be invited to the World Junior camp.

Moose thought it was great but of course had something smart to say. “They invited you because they can’t look like assholes. If you were Canadian you would have, without a doubt; made the Canadian team. They know it. After the comments Butler, the Team Canada coach said about you. The US coach really didn’t have a choice.” He informed me.

“What? I didn’t read that, what was said?” I asked him.

“Butler said, that he would have loved you to play on the Canadian team. That you would have been such an inspiration to young girls across Canada. He told the press that if the US team didn’t invite you; it showed a prejudiced towards women in hockey, and that would be a disgrace. Did you not watch Sports Center last week Chris?” He laughed.

“No, I didn’t. That’s awesome. I’m very thankful to whatever Butler said to get me my invite.” I giggled with excitement.

“By the way Chris, Have a happy 18th birthday. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you.” Moose said.

“Thanks for the birthday wish Moose. I think getting an invite to the U.S. World Juniors is the best gift I could ever receive. I am going to make the best of it for sure.” I informed him

I was ecstatic. I would have to train extra hard for the next two weeks. I invited Plouffe over after practices all week and took shots on him in the driveway net. He was happy to help. He would be playing for Team Canada and wanted the practice as well.

There were six Americans including myself; who were playing in the CHL, that got a camp invite. Five of them had gone to the July 30-Aug. 7, in Lake Placid (N.Y.) Olympic Center Camp.

This would be the final camp before the team was announced. There would be nine returning players from the Gold winning USA World Junior Team. If I made the team, I would be in Buffalo, New York, over the Christmas holidays. I would be seen by every single scout and team coach. I couldn’t ask for more coverage. I hoped that I had what it took to make the team.

We won our weekend games. Plouffe hosted two shutouts. He said he owed that to me, forcing him to have all those extra practices. I had a 5 point weekend. I was also happy. I was nervous for the camp. Alex told me to treat it like anything else I had done and just focus on whatever the coach asks me to do.

The two weeks passed rapidly. I was packing my bags to fly to Buffalo, when I received a call. A call that no one wants to get. My father had been in a terrible car accident. He was in a coma. They didn’t know if he would pull through.

I told my mom I would fly home. She insisted that I go to the camp. She convinced me that my father had been so proud. If I didn’t go, he would kick my ass when he came out of it. I argued with her for over an hour. The decision was that I would go to camp. I had reservations, but I knew there was nothing I could do for him and mom was right. Dad wanted this for me.

My teammates were very supportive sending their well wishes for my father and for me at camp. It hit the media that I was going to the World Juniors Camp and that my father had been in a terrible accident. Opinions were torn over the fact that I had gone to camp instead of flying home to be with my family. I refused to speak to the media. My agent had a public statement read for me. I had enough on my mind.

Weirdest birthday ever. I managed to get offered one of the best opportunities and feel the worst I have ever felt all at the same time. I would have to stay positive.

Buffalo, New York

Every one seemed to know each other the first day of camp. I knew five of the guys who played in the OHL. Other than that I had never met the rest of the guys. They did not look happy I was there. I was thankful when I heard Jeremy Turner from Barrie, sticking up for me to a few of the guys. I had over heard part of their conversation.

“No seriously guys, she’s a great player. She’s got talent and she won’t get pushed around. She’s better than half the guys in the league. Give her a chance and she’ll prove it to you.” Jeremy assured them. ”I thought the same things you guys did when I found out she was in the OHL. At first to me it was a big joke but she’s proven me wrong. Hell if you guys don’t want to play on her line, I will. She’s one hell of a playmaker.”

This camp was harder than any other camp I had participated in. The coach worked us hard, and he seemed to work me even harder. I wasn’t the only player who noticed that.

Kennedy skated over to me on the second day “Man, I’m glad I’m not you, he’s really busting your balls out there Chrissy.” He snorted laughing.

I knew Kennedy from the OHL. He played defence for Owen Sound. He and I had butted heads a few times over the last two seasons, but respected each other as players. He asked me if I had gotten any news on my father. I told him, that he was still the same. They still weren’t sure, but there seemed to be no brain damage. He just needed to wake up from the coma, but the doctors were now hopeful.

The coach Terry Smith, called me into his office on day three. The final day of the camp before they announced the final roster. I was nervous. Why was he calling me in and no one else? I knocked on his door and walked through it with caution as he said “Come in!”

“Take a seat Christine.” Terry said motioning to the chair in front of his desk. I sat down and waited for him to talk.

“As you know, I have received a lot of slack for not asking you to the summer training camp.” I just shook my head and he continued on. “It’s not that you weren’t good enough to get the invite, the truth is I don’t feel that there is a place for women in this type of hockey competition. There is a woman’s team and that’s where girls belong.”

I started to interrupt him “Coach, listen. I understand the animosity that many feel regarding women in a man’s sport. Don’t think I haven’t heard it all before. I have proven myself worthy of being here, and you know it. It’s your team and I will respect your decision. If you don’t want me on your team I will have to accept that. However, if the only reason is because I am a woman; than I think that is not only disgusting but disturbing. I will also remind you that you have just openly discriminated against me. I would understand if I didn’t play as well as I do. However, I do play well. I play better than most guys my age in the sport right now.” I said harshly to him.

I wasn’t able to accept a NO because I was a girl. If I didn’t match up to the players I would understand that, but this wasn’t the case.

“Excuse me?” He barked. “You have some nerve to talk to a coach that way. You should just shut up and listen.”

“You’re right it does take nerve to speak to a coach that way. I would never speak to a fair coach in that way or tone. You however, are far from fair.” I growled.

“You were invited here because I didn’t have a choice. I was all set to have you suit up and just sit on the bench. After you talking to me this way.” He shook his head. “You’re off the team immediately. Get your shit and go,” he ordered.

“Alright Coach. I guess I will be calling my agent and he will release a statement about the conversation we just had.” I turned and stormed out of his office slamming the door.

I took out my cell phone, turned it on and called my agent before I was even out of the building.

It was on the 6 o’clock news.

Eighteen year old female hockey player, Christine Matthews was cut from the USA World Juniors team this afternoon. This happened when she argued with Terry Smith, after he told her that she was only invited to the camp because he was strong armed into having her attend.

According to Matthew’s agent Frank Hart. Smith pulled her into his office this afternoon, and told her that the only reason she was being cut was because he didn’t feel a girl should be playing a man’s sport. Smith told Matthew’s “there is a girls team go play for them”.

According to Matthew’s agent she replied back to Smith “I would accept any other reason for being cut from the team, but not just because I am a girl. That is ridiculous, I think I have proven myself over the last two years”.

Miss Matthews who’s father is currently in a coma from a terrible car accident, went to camp at the urging of her family. Hoping that when her father woke up from the coma he would be able to watch her play for her country.

Miss Matthews currently plays in the Canadian Hockey League for the Toronto Gophers, under the guidance of hockey legend Ben Killerman. She is presently, 4th in the Ontario hockey league in points. She has been invited to play in the top NHL prospects game in January. We have been informed that many NHL teams have been watching her closely this season.

Sport Center has obtained a copy of that scouting report and it’s all positives.

We tried to reach Coach Smith for a comment, but were unable to. In the past we have heard Terry Smith speak out about women in hockey, and how he was unsupportive of the idea.

We did manage to reach a member of USA Hockey. They said that they were looking into the allegations. They also said that they did not discriminate against women. If the allegations turned out to be verified, then they would be replacing Terry Smith as coach for Team USA.

We would like your opinions on this subject please email your responses to TSNsportscenter.com.

It seemed to be on every news station. My cellphone was ringing off the hook. My agent moved me into a different hotel and instructed me to stay put. He had spoken to USA Hockey and they were going to come to a decision on whether or not they would fire Smith for his comments.

I felt guilty. I didn’t want anyone fired. I just wanted a shot at something I deserved. I knew life wasn’t fair, but this was something that I had worked hard for. I truly deserved to be out there playing for my country. I wasn’t about to let some chauvinistic coach sideline me.

Technically it is always the coach’s final decision. Now that it was out in the media it not only reflected bad on him; but I wondered if the NHL teams would want the hassle of taking a chance on me. They might think that I would run to the press about everything.

I wasn’t answering any calls. Only from Ben and my agent. Moose had called several times. My friends and most of my teammates were also ringing my cell off the hook.

Alex didn’t call me until near midnight. He helped me to calm down. He had two days off. He said he was on his way to Buffalo, that’s why it took him so long to call me. He told me that he was thirty minutes outside the city. He needed to know which hotel I was at. I told him the hotel and room number. I was grateful that Alex was going out of his way to be here with me. That meant so much. I still loved him, and I knew he still loved me. He was what I needed right now.

When he got to my door he was banging hard. I opened it and he rushed in.

“What the hell?” I questioned him.

“Sorry, the media was following me. I lost them in the stairwell.” He choked out a laugh. He was out of breath.

He reached out and pulled me into his arms. I started to cry. I had been holding back the tears the entire time. Now they flowed, like a river. I wasn’t able to stop. He just held me and rocked me in his arms. He didn’t say anything to me. He just let me cry.

After an hour of crying my eyes were dry. Nothing more would fall from them. They were now as dry as a desert after a drought. They were red and starting to sting. I put some drops into them to stop them from being irritated.

Finally there was a statement released from USA Hockey.

We at USA Hockey do not agree with statements said to Miss Matthews by Terry Smith. Smith has been replaced by Norman Youville. He will have the deciding say on whether or not Christine Matthews is a good enough player to be on this years team.

A girl can play if she makes the cut. We have not seen anything to tell us Miss Matthew’s is not good enough. Her track record speaks for itself. Youville is a fair coach. If he feels Matthews is a fit, then she’ll play. If not, she will be cut as any other player would be.

Well at least I would now get a fair chance. I was told to meet Norman Youville and the team at the rink at 9:00 a.m. the next morning. That night I curled up in Alex’s arms. He held me all night. He told me that he would stay until after the decision and then he had to head back to Rhode Island.

In the morning I was a nervous wreck. I was so frustrated with everything. When the elastic I was using to try and put my hair up broke, I screamed. I threw my hair brush at the wall and then kicked the wall cursing.

“Chill over there, Bruce Lee. Are you going to kick through the wall to the other room?” Alex chimed from the bed.

“I’m just so frustrated Alex. This is such a big mess. It’s all the same bullshit I have been dealing with my entire life. A girl shouldn’t play a guy’s sport. It’s bullshit.” I whined.

There was nothing anyone could do for me at the moment. Everything had to play out in it’s own time. We both knew that. Alex offered to drive me over to the rink. We tried to hide from the media, but a few of them caught us as we were trying to sneak out the back of the hotel. They wanted a statement from me and not my agent. I was put on the spot. I had to say something.

“I told my agent what was said to me by Terry Smith in his office. I did not go to the media. I am unsure of who did. I didn’t feel that being a girl was justification for cutting a player.”

I took a deep breath and continued to explain myself to the media. “If he had told me that I had been cut because of my playing; or because I didn’t fit well with the rest of the team, then I would have kept my mouth shut and let it go. That wasn’t the case here though.”

I took a deep breath and continued my statement to the press.

“I know of Norman Youville, although I have never met him. USA Hockey have assured me that he is a fair man. If he decides I shouldn’t be on the team for the right reasons I will walk away. It would be an honor to play for my country. I would do my best to make my country proud. Now we will wait on what Mr. Youville decides. Thank you, that’s all I have to say.” I told the media, as I was trying to duck into Alex’s car that he had idling.

After my statement, a reporter shoved his microphone into my face while I was trying to close the car door. He asked “Christine, what about your father?”

I froze for a second. Then I shoved the microphone out of my face and the reporter leaned over me to get to Alex. “ Alex are you a couple? The fans what to know?”

“Please have some respect, and move your microphone away from my car. Christine just gave her statement.” Alex demanded. He leaned over me and pulled the car door shut. He almost broke the microphone.

He wasn’t about to make a comment right now. The media could be so rude at times. They just wanted their story; they didn’t care about anything else.

On the way to the rink Alex spoke. “You know that the media is going to question me on whether or not we are together. What do you want me to tell them.” He asked with a smirk.

“Alex, we are not back together. Tell them the truth. We have not been together for almost a year however, we have remained close friends. You came to visit me and be here to support me.” I demanded.

“Alright,” his smile faded. I didn’t have time for that right at this moment. My career was on the line. I needed to be professional and have my head on straight.

Besides I knew he was just going to say “no comment,” and let them speculate. This way he wouldn’t have to admit it to himself.

Security was waiting for me at the rink and they escorted me into the building as we pushed passed all the media. I told Alex to meet me back at the hotel and gave him the room key. All this drama and stress is a lot for any eighteen year old to handle. I needed to shake it all off.

When I got to the office Norman Youville, the new coach was there. He told me that he had spoken to the guys on the team. They wanted me on the team. He said, they all felt that I deserved to be there. They were more than comfortable playing with me. He was relieved, because unlike Terry Smith; he felt I also deserved to be on the team. Youville felt bad for how this all had played out.

He warned me that the public would put more pressure on me now because opinions would be very split on whether I had earned the spot, or had strong armed them into giving me a spot. I told him that I understood speculations like that all to well. I would do my best to prove I belonged there.

He walked with me to meet with the team. We discussed strategy and game play for the World Juniors. We were told to forget the media attention. We all knew that would be rather difficult, because it was now worse with the ongoing drama created by my situation.

I was paired up with Jeremy Turner and Maxime Oulette, two guys I already knew from the OHL and the Quebec League. I had met Maxime before he went to play for the Sea Dogs in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. He was playing with Plymouth at the time. I was happy with that pairing. I knew how they played and vice versa. The three of us seemed to have pretty good chemistry. I would also be playing center, my native position. I liked that idea although, to me at this point I was good with either position.

In two days we were playing the Czech Republic. I got a drive back to the hotel with one of my teammates. I had to transfer back to the hotel the team was staying at.

I went into my room and told Alex the good news. He was happy for me. I thanked him for coming when I needed him. He had to leave and get back to Rhode Island right away. He was playing the next day, then right after that game they were sending him back to Boston. The team was doing this to make best use of his just under a million dollar salary.

He told me that he was still in love with me. He added that he would give me space, but that he intended to wait for me. I told him not to hold his breath and laughed. Then I kissed him on the cheek and we said goodbye.

Once I had relocated back to the other hotel, I got comfortable in my room. I was given my own room. They didn’t have to do that now. I was so used to being on the road with guys, and they were all very respectful of me that it wouldn’t have bothered me to share.

The guys on this team were all very welcoming now. It was nice, I was expecting there to be problems. Aside from the first morning comments I had proven to the guys that I deserved to be there with them. I was glad there wasn’t. We were all there for the same reasons. To play for our country proudly. We all were professional about our careers and knew what was important.

I began studying game footage of the various teams from online clips. There were so many teams in this tournament: Austria, Belarus, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Latvia, Norway, Russia, Slovakia, Sweden, Switzerland and the United States. There were lots of clips online from past years but not really enough to give me much information about the way each player played. I researched as much as I could.

I was reading the IIHF U20 rules, because the tournament rules are a little confusing. I needed to understand them better. When coach explained them they kind of went in one ear and out the other. So first we would play a round-robin. The top three teams from each group advance to the Qualification Round while the fourth-placed team in each group moves to the Relegation Round.

Blah, blah, blah! I just wanted to know the finals because I knew the rest wouldn’t be a problem for our team this year. We had a good solid team. The winning teams of the semi-final games advance to the gold medal game while the semi-final losing teams play for the Bronze medal.

True Meaning of Pride

During the first period Havel Mohelnicky, from the Czech team hammered me hard from behind. The refs didn’t see it. The crowd went crazy yelling for a penalty. The Czech team had obviously decided to test me. I was in pain.

I skated to the bench to shake it off. I needed to sit down for a minute. Coach asked me if I was alright.

I shook my head yes then said “I remember when snap, crackle and pop, were noises I heard from my cereal, not my body.” Everyone on the bench including Coach laughed. It was true. I swear I heard something in my back crack from that hit.

In the room during our fifteen minute intermission I was worked on. I had definitely done something to my back. The trainer figured when I was hit I pulled a muscle. When I face planted into the boards, I hurt it even more. My neck and lower back were both in pain. The adrenaline in my body was helping with the pain a little. Coach asked me three times if I was able to play. He told me to sit out if I wasn’t. I told him not to worry, if the pain got to be too much I would pull myself from the game. He was satisfied with that answer.

I looked to the trainer. “Fix me up Paul.” He nodded. Then he gave me something for the pain and I skated back out to the ice.

I got my chance for revenge against the Czech team. In the second period, we were up 3-0. I took a nice pass from Jeremy and managed to fly by Greguska Palacky, their best defenceman and slide one in.

My teammates jumped on me in celebration. I had gotten my first point of the series. That showed people I deserved to be there. I also got a good laugh at Palacky, who broke his stick slamming it against the net pipes because he was pissed.

In the third period, I got an nice breakaway and scored top shelf, left side. That one was unassisted. I was rocking it out on the ice, but I knew that this wasn’t a team we had to worry about right now. It was Russia, Sweden and Canada. They were the teams that we needed to battle hard against. We won the game 6-1. It was a beauty of a game.

We all went back to the hotel. None of us were partying during this tournament. It would be bed early every night, until it was over. I only heard two of the guys talking about hooking up with some girls. The rest of the guys had their heads in the game. We all knew what an honor, and how important this tournament was to us and the country.

I debated sitting out the game against Finland. I told the coach I was still in a little pain, but I would play. He shuffled the lines around and I didn’t play much in the first period. In the second period I was needed out there. Two of our players had been injured. One had a concussion and was taken straight to the hospital, and the other we weren’t sure of yet. Paul, the trainer was looking at his leg.

I didn’t score at all in the game against Finland. I did manage to get an assist on one of Maxime’s two goals. We scraped by with a 5-4 win over the Fins. The Swedish team beat us 3-2. Coach rode us hard after that game. We had a lot of players who were injured playing and had to figure out how to work through it. None of us wanted to admit we were in pain. This tournament meant too much to all of us.

I got worked on all the next day by the team trainers. I needed to be ready for the game against the Russians. Canada and Sweden were playing, and if they, Canada, won their next game they would get a buy to the finals. We had to beat Russia.

I had just gotten back to my room when the telephone rang. It was my mother. As soon as I heard her voice I froze in fear. What if she was going to give me terrible news? I didn’t know if I could deal with it. I had just started to get close to my father and understand him. I couldn’t deal with losing him, not right now.

“Christine, your father is awake and he wants to talk to you.”

He must have grabbed the telephone from her “What is this I hear about that jackass Smith cutting you from team USA?” He yelled into the phone.

I had to laugh then. Thank God! He sounded like himself. “Yes Dad, he thought girls shouldn’t be playing a guys sport. Kind of reminded me of someone you know. As usual I didn’t take no for an answer though as you can see I made the team and doing well for our country.” I had a huge smile on my face, which he could probably tell from the sound of my voice.

“Well, if I hadn’t been so hard on you all your life, you would never have the guts to stand up to jackasses like Terry Smith.”

“You are absolutely correct about that Dad. Thanks for that.” I giggled.

“I saw Alex was with you, it was all over the news. Are you guys back together again?” He asked. He really liked Alex. I had only told my father it was the distance that ended our relationship. I would never embarrass Alex or disrespect him by telling my father the truth.

“No Dad, we’re not together, but we are still really good friends. How long have you been awake?” I inquired. He seemed in such high spirits. Almost like he had never been in a coma.

“Yesterday, but the doctor had to run tests. I told your mom not to call you until I was allowed to speak with you myself. I needed to give you the pep talk you know.”

“I see.” I laughed. “Well on with the pep talk Dad. I could really use one about now.”

“Well Christine, You can’t let those Russian communist bastards beat the USA. You need to shove the puck down their throats. Teach them what American hockey is all about. You always say Toby Chalke is your hero; well follow his example and hit those Russians hard, make them take it right in the ass.” He yelled.

“I promise, I will Dad. I haven’t been playing as good as I could out there.” I told him.

“Yeah that’s what Phil was telling me. Is something wrong?” he asked concerned.

“I did something to my back. I had it worked on again today, it seems much better. I just wanted to take it easy the last game.” I informed him.

“You’re back huh. Well get tough and get back out there kiddo. Do some damage and bring your pop back a gold.” he encouraged. “I have to go, I love you kid.”

“I love you to Dad.” I said and hung up the phone. I texted Alex right away to give him the good news about my father.

I wanted to follow my father’s advice and bring it out there on the ice, but my back was still in pain. I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize my career. I could just imagine what the press would say to that. Probably that I should never have been playing with the big boys in the first place.

The rest of the tournament went well for team USA. We won the rest of our games, and were heading into the finals. We would play Canada for Gold, just like we did the year before. We needed to win this year as well. Silver is still an honor, but our team was set to win Gold. Canada didn’t have the same caliber of players they used to have. The United States was producing some amazing talent. It was our time to shine. I know that I was getting the best training possible from Canadian teams in Canada, but I was still an American player.

Not only that, but Tyler Plouffe was in net. Lucky for me, I knew all his weak spots; because we had practiced together before coming. Also because he was the goalie for the Gophers. I knew if I went high stick side with him that my shot was too fast for him to handle. I hoped that he hadn’t been working on that. Coach pulled me aside before the game started.

“Christine, how’s your back today?” He inquired.

“Its good coach, I feel ready.” I announced. I was more than pumped up for today’s match.

“If it starts to bother you, you let me know immediately. This is not worth ending your career over, you just started.” He insisted. He reminded me a lot of Ben the way he cared about the players. It was refreshing. Smith didn’t care the way Ben or Youville did.

“I know coach. I promise if it gets bad I’ll let you know.”

“Plouffe and you play together correct?” He asked.

“Yep, we do and we practiced together before leaving for our camps. I am well aware that he can’t handle my high shots on his stick side. They catch him off guard and I intend to capitalize on that.” I smirked.

“Alright Christine,” he said and padded my back. I took my spot on the ice. I was part of the starting line.

Tyler Plouffe and Joe Sim were the only players from the Toronto Gophers on Team Canada. I was the only player from the Gophers on Team USA. We had no other team members in the tournament.

I took a deep breath, this was it. This was the start to the rest of my life. I knew how I played here today, in this game, would determine the rest of my career. I didn’t want to think about how many millions of people were watching this game at home or in the crowd. I just needed to focus. After a few more deep breaths I tuned those thoughts completely out of my mind. I only saw what was immediately surrounding me.

The puck dropped, Canada won the face-off and got it into our end zone. I skated hard and fast and knocked Paul Herman right of the puck. I passed it to our right defenceman. I skated harder and faster and the puck was returned to me on a 2 vs 1. I saw the opening, Plouffe had moved glove side anticipating my shot. I faked and then within a split second shot high stick side. Plouffe didn’t make it over in time.

The Buffalo crowd were on their feet. The clapping and screaming was overwhelming. I had scored the first goal in the game, 11 seconds into the game. I skated back to the bench in a daze. It had actually went in. I had my team off to a 1-0 start. The energy in the building was intoxicating.

Canada came back hard in the first, and scored two goals; then a short handed third goal. My team was getting restless. We couldn’t give up. I started to see defeat in some of my teammates eyes. Coach was getting frustrated. I looked at Jeremy.

“We have to do this Jer. If I can’t take it you take it, Tyler’s expecting it to be high stick side, so whichever one of us has the shot go five hole or low glove side.” I instructed.

“Sounds like a plan, we have to do something.” He agreed.

We took the ice. One mistake was all it took. Their right winger, Colton Terzoin fanned on his shot. Jeremy was able to steal the puck. I was ready, he passed the puck over to me and I took off like a bat out of hell. I was the fastest skater on the team and took it right to the net. I fooled Plouffe with a deak, and then got it high glove side. He was pissed. My team was ecstatic. That bought us right back into the game. The buzzer sounded and the period was over.

In the second period the Canadians were dominating the puck. We had to find a way to create our own chances. Kennedy managed to sneak one in on the glove side. It was a fluke goal, but we didn’t care. Then another teammate got one which, I believe, rebounded off Tyler Plouffe’s skate. The Canadian team matched us goal for goal. The score was now 5-5 going into the third period. It was going to be a tight game. Neck and neck, right until the end.

Right up until the last five minutes of the third period, neither team had managed a goal. Then Joe Sim daggled a nice one right into our net. I had to give it to him, it was a sweet goal.

The Canadian team started to get cocky. That pissed me right off. With 28 seconds left Jeremy passed to Maxime off the face off and he tied the game. We had one last chance to end it now.

Coach kept my line out for the last 18 seconds. Again off the face off I shot from just over the center line. I hammered that puck, and I heard it hit the pipe. Then it went behind Tyler Plouffe and fell right into the net. I had scored the game winner. The crowd went crazy. Buffalo was on their feet screaming and chanting. My team flew off the bench and pummeled me. I don’t know which team member had grabbed the American flag and started skating around with it. I was still in shock. We had won Gold for the United States. I was so proud of my teammates and myself. It was such a close game.

After making morons of ourselves with our celebrating; it was time to line up for the Anthems. We stood there, proud as we could be, all singing in the Star Spangled Banner. I had never been so proud and watching that flag be raised in this type of a celebration humbled me. Tears flowed down my cheeks. This was the greatest moment of my life. I had not only proved to the world that I was good enough, but I don’t know if anything could match the feeling of winning a gold medal for your country.

The media and celebrations after the game went well into the next day. After two days of media and celebrating, I was exhausted. My back was also in a lot of pain.

When I flew back to Toronto, I harassed Plouffe on the flight a bit with some chirping about the U.S. taking home the Gold, but it was all in good fun.

My family was so proud of me. Mom said the pure pride my father felt helped him to get better faster. Alex was thrilled for me. Moose called to congratulate me. I was walking on cloud nine. I knew this would only improve my chances to get drafted into the NHL.

After arriving back, the doctor informed me that I would not be cleared to play. I had pulled a muscle in my back. There was a bit of swelling around my spine, but it was already starting to heal. I would be back out on the ice hopefully by next week. I was forced to be a scratch for the next two games.

I was frustrated, so I decided that I would go out to the bar with some of the guys from my team. I never do that with them. I was never a big drinker. I met a guy there that night. I had been drinking a lot. I invited him back to my place after the bar and had sex with him. I had never done anything like that in my life. I had only ever been with Alex. I knew this would get back to him. I don’t know why I was so worried about it though. My teammates had casual sex all the time.

I felt dirty afterward. I called Moose to talk. He and I were such good friends. We still talked about everything.

He told me to shake it off, let it go. “Shit happens”! He reminded me. He told me the reason I probably felt dirty was because it was not like me to just hook up with guys. I looked at girls who did that as trashy, and was relating what I had just done to being trashy. It was a drunken mistake, and I just had to deal with it. Let it go. I knew he was right. People make mistakes all the time. It kind of put what Alex had done to me last year into perspective.

I played the next two home games then I was heading to Sarnia, Ontario, for the Top Prospects game. I was excited. All the scouts would be there and all the coaches would see the footage of the game and the Scout’s notes.

Making My Mark

Joe Sim and I drove together to Sarnia. It wasn’t that bad of a ride. We chatted most of the way about our families and hockey. We didn’t exactly have the same taste in music. All he wanted to listen to was rap. My head couldn’t take anymore of his choices. He agreed to listen to the radio for a while.

As we were driving I checked out the website using my brand new blackberry. I received it while I was on Team USA. I wanted to see my player profile for the Top Prospects game.

Assistant Captain for the Toronto Gophers. She is currently second in league scoring. She has sixteen multi - point games and five hat-trick performances; was named the OHL Player of the Month for November, and the OHL Player of the Week on December 15th. She has been named to the Eastern Conference All-Stars and the OHL All-Star Classic. Won gold with Team USA, and was runner-up for OHL Rookie of the Year last season.

I liked what I read. I was hoping to win one or two of the challenges. I was on Jerry Paddle’s team.

We finally reached the hotel and I was rooming with Joe. Not such a big deal except he snores. I knew he wasn’t going to bring any girls into the room, because he and his girlfriend had just gotten back together. He was trying to be on his best behavior. He told me to smack him if I noticed him screwing up while we were here. I would be happy to smack the guy, he sometimes got on my nerves.

In the morning there was a media type breakfast with all the players. We all gave interviews and signed autographs for fans.

Then we went into the arena for the Skills Competition. We were all wearing our own team’s jerseys for this competition. It was a lot of fun. Everyone was joking around. I was surprised how funny and friendly Ron Berry was.

He complimented me on my achievements. I wasn’t sure what he thought of me. He hadn’t said much in the media about me. I was aware of some of his past comments he had made about women getting hit in the head with the puck at games. He had said that they were to busy yapping. He was cracking jokes today, and tried a few of the skills himself. What a great guy he was.

Alex is a huge Ron Berry fan. He always told me that Berry lives and breaths hockey, and anything that is good for the sport he gets behind. Alex was right about him.

During the skills competition I won the ‘Fastest Skater’ with a time of 14.01 seconds. The closest time to me was from Derick Marlow with a time of 14.42 seconds. I also got 4/6 attempts in the ‘Shooting Accuracy Skills’.

The next day would be fun. The poor goalies. There was so much fire power here on the ice. They didn’t have much of a chance. They knew it coming into this event. For this competition it was the best of the best. I was honored to be part of it.

We beat team Berry, with a score of 16 – 12. I had so much fun. I improved my standings in the NHL draft with scoring 4 of those 16 goals and got 7 assists. If the NHL was going to be fair to me, I should be drafted in the first round according to the scouts. They had me placed 5th overall. The only negatives about my scouting reports were, that I was a woman.

On the drive back to Toronto with Joe he told me that he wanted to stop off and visit his family for dinner. I agreed. We were using his car, so I wasn’t going to be rude. I had met his parents several times. He said that he had an older brother, who was twenty-four that would also be there. I had never met his brother before. He said that he didn’t play hockey. He was more of a nerd. He told me that his brother was working for some fortune 500 computer company.

The drive from Sarnia to Toronto is only about three and a half hours. Joe’s family lived in a small town about ten minutes north of London, called Ingersoll. It was just off the 401 highway.

We exited the highway and drove into Ingersoll. It was a small quaint town of just under 12,000 people. I asked Joe what the town was known for. He laughed, and said “Cheese”. I had to laugh then.

“Cheese, well then that explains it!” I giggled. “That’s why you’re such a cheese factory out there.” I was laughing so hard I had to hold my tummy. “That explains why your entire rookie year you wore that damn cheese grater.”

It had some very nice neighborhoods. It was spotless, a very clean town. With buildings old and new mixed together. We finally reached his parents home.

They welcomed me graciously into their home. His mother had prepared us a huge turkey dinner with all the fixings. It was delicious. It was nice to have a home cooked meal. His brother was just like Joe had described him to me. A huge nerd. He spent most of the dinner discussing some computer chip that was going to be the next new big thing. I had no idea what he was talking about. From the looks of every one else’s face no one else did either.

His brother pretty much talked throughout the entire meal. He was even talking when others were talking and tuning him out. It was almost as if he didn’t care if he just sat there talking to himself. Very strange I thought.

Joe leaned over to me and said ”I’m sorry Chrissy, he’s got some serious issues upstairs if you get what I mean.” He seemed almost embarrassed by his brother.

“No worries, Joe. We all have one of those in our family.” I whispered. He started to chuckle.

I thanked Joe’s parents for a lovely meal and we headed back to Toronto. It was late and I was tired. I just wanted to take a long hot bath and crawl into bed.

Joe finally dropped me off at the Peat’s house around midnight. All the lights were off upstairs, the basement living room light was on, but Erik’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

I threw my bag into my bedroom and grabbed my toiletries and my pj’s and headed towards the bathroom. I poured in lots of bubble bath, it was a lavender smell. I decided to also drop in one of the bath bombs Cathy had given me for Christmas. I had never used one before. It started to fizz and move rapidly throughout the tub. It was quite amusing to watch. Once the tub was full, I slowly slid into it.

The water was extremely hot, but it was nice as the water engulfed my body. I completely submerged myself. Slid all the way under the water, letting the bath take over my entire body. It felt so soothing and relaxing. The bath bomb released something into the water that made my skin feel so smooth and soft. I was enjoying this bath immensely. I vowed that I would take a bath with bath bombs at least once a week from now on. It was heaven.

I didn’t want to come out of the bath, but I was starting to fall asleep in there. I dried myself off and put on my pajamas and went out into the living room. Erik had just gotten home. We sat up and talked for about twenty minutes before I managed to dragged myself into my bedroom and flopped on my bed. I was out right away; as soon as my head hit the pillow.

March came fast this year. I had been kept so busy all season that the months seemed to fly by. Alex and I had gotten even closer. I wanted to get back together with him. I just wasn’t fully ready yet. He was acting like we already were together. Boston was still treating him like a human yo-yo.

He was continuously shipped back and forth between Boston and Providence. Last week he had to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere, jump on a plane to play a game that night. It was starting to take it’s toll on him. He wasn’t complaining much, but I could tell. The last time we were on web cam together he looked drained. I would hate to be in the situation he was in, but on the bright side he was playing a lot of NHL games. I would kill for that kind of chance.

We had a good team this season and all of us had great chemistry. We didn’t have the best players in the league on our team, but what we did have was consistency. We were sitting 5th in the CHL standings. I was still 2nd in scoring in the OHL, and 4th in the CHL.

We won the first round of playoffs taking out Trenton in five games. In the second round we scraped through, finally winning the 7th game against Oshawa. The third round we took out Brampton in five games.

We were heading into the finals for the playing for the Bobby Orr Trophy in the East. We were going to play Barrie. They had done outstanding this season and going into the tournament they had the upper hand. They had home ice advantage and they had beaten us five of the eight games we had played them this season. However, we were the stronger team and sitting higher up in the CHL standings with more wins under our belt.

The coach gave us a pep talk before heading out onto the ice. His normal words of wisdom, some swearing about never giving up and some famous quotes.

Today’s quote, I had heard many times before. It was a quote from the General Manager of the New York Rangers, and of course he played all over the NHL from Boston to Edmonton and every where in between, Glen Sather. “You can have all the talent in the world, but if the pumper’s not there, it doesn’t matter”.

“So guys get out there and kick some Barrie Ass!” He yelled and he motioned for us to get out of the room. I laughed on my way out of the dressing room. He was a good coach, but on game days he was in his own little coaching world.

I didn’t start today’s game. Instead I was playing on the second line. My back was still a little sore and coach felt I would be better playing on the second line. I didn’t argue. It didn’t really matter to me where I played; as long as I got my ice time. My back had improved a lot but I still had my days.

The first period opened with a few chances that we managed to create, even with Barrie getting an early power play. Finally Joe Sim started the scoring with under four minutes left in the first when he tipped in Erik Wilson’s pass. Brett Welsh got the second assist on that goal.

Barrie got themselves into penalty trouble at the end of the first period and were down two men for 1:09 to start the second. I took quick advantage of it, when I flipped in a rebound that the Barrie goalie had just given up. Then Barrie came back and got one past Tyler Plouffe and we lost our two goal lead.

In the third, I managed to restore the two-goal lead when my backhand shot just barely managed to beat the Barrie goalie. The rest of the third was a lot of back and forth. Many penalties called but no goals. We won the first game of the series 3-1.

We battled hard through this series and took Barrie out in seven. We won the Bobby Orr Trophy. Now we would play the Winner in the West for the J. Ross Robertson Cup - OHL Playoffs Championships. We had to wait a few days to find out which team that would be.

My father called to congratulate me on our win, as did Alex. This season was different without Moose and Alex. I still had some of my close friends, but it didn’t feel the same.

Two days later we found out that we would be playing against London. They were a solid team. A much bigger team. They liked to throw their bodies around a lot out there.

They took us out in five games. The season was over just like that. They were moving on to play in the Memorial Cup Tournament, and our season was done. We all said our goodbyes at our team dinner with our billets.

I had this summer’s NHL Draft to look forward to. I was hoping that it would go well. I said goodbye to the Peats and shipped my things home.

I debated for a day whether I would fly to Providence and surprise Alex. I knew what happened the last time I did that. However, I did want him back. I missed him. He was my best friend.

I told my parents I wouldn’t be home for a while. They never argued with me about things like that anymore. To them I was an adult. They let me do what I wanted. I was mature enough to handle the situations I put before myself. They knew I wasn’t going to ruin any chance I had by doing foolish things.

I boarded the plane at Pearson International Airport and glanced down at the city of Toronto as the plane took off. Toronto was such a huge city.

When I arrived in Providence, I took a cab over to the team’s apartment complex. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. God only knew what kind of surprise might be waiting for me on the other side of the door.

Alex opened the door. He was standing there in only his boxers. His hair still wet from the shower. I just smiled. He was shocked to see me. He grabbed me up in his arms and swung me around. He kissed me.

“What a nice surprise. I am so happy you’re here Christine.” He cheered.

“I wasn’t sure about coming. It was kind of a last minute decision,” I said meekly.

“It was the right decision. Will you stay with me for the rest of the season?” He asked with excitement.

“Well that would be hard with you traveling back and forth to Boston all the time. What about you’re new roommate. I don’t think he’d like that at all.” I explained.

“If you promise to stay I will move us into our own place by the end of the week. I swear it won’t be an issue at all.” He was beaming with excitement.

“And I suppose you want an answer this minute?” I questioned him.

“No, how about by tomorrow morning?” He laughed. He pulled me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed and collapsed on top of me.

“If you stay this means you and me are back together and you have to take your ring back.” He insisted.

I pushed him off of me. “How about you go get dressed and take me out for some supper. I am famished.” I told him.

He went to his dresser and pulled something out of the top drawer. He walked back over to me and took my left hand. “Are we back together?” He asked me with those big green eyes. I couldn’t say no. I missed him and I did love him.

“Yes, I will stay, and yes we are back together Alex.” I leaned forward and kissed him. He slid the ring onto my finger. It was my promise ring. I looked down at it and smiled.

He took me out to the Waterplace. It’s a great restaurant. We had been there before. It has a wonderful view of the water and the city.

I ordered the decadent lobster rangoon. It was a lobster with cream cheese, chives, with a rice wine vinegar filling, and an apricot horseradish dipping sauce. Alex ordered the grilled 14 oz. ribeye, with baby spinach, red bliss mashed potatoes, whole grain mustard shallot, Cabernet butter and fresh vegetables. We always ordered two completely different dishes and shared.

Throughout the dinner we talked about the two of us living together until I figured out what I would be doing next season. Hopefully I would get drafted somewhere. He told me we could figure things out for that later. For now we would take it one day at a time and just deal with things as they were handed to us. He told me he would get me into the gym where they trained and that I would be able to book some ice time at a local arena. He would work out with me when he could.

He also insisted that I could go out and furnish the apartment how I wanted to. He told me it would be best to go with American Furniture Rentals. They had everything we needed for an apartment. We could just rent it for however long we needed it. All the guys did that. He told me to give Sarabella a call and her and I could go check it out.

I wondered what my parents would say. I was almost nineteen. They loved Alex dearly. I would call them tomorrow and let them know what was happening. Then Alex said something to surprise me.

“Christine, I want total trust between us this time. I will give you all my passwords to all my online accounts. You can go in and look at everything I am doing, and just delete whoever you want to.” He nodded to confirm what he had just said to me.

“Alex, I don’t want to do that. You are entitled to your privacy. You know right from wrong. You also know who should or should not be on any of your contact lists. I will leave it to your discretion. However, know this - if anything happens this time around; any form of cheating whatsoever, I will never give you another chance.” I told him firmly.

“I understand and it will never happen again. I learned first hand what it was like to lose the one you love. Now that I have you back I will never do anything to lose you again.” He smiled and took my hand in his and squeezed “I love you Christine.”

“I love you also Alex.” I smiled back at him.

After dinner we went back to his place. It was still early. He was out in the living room making arrangements to move into another one of the apartments in the team’s building.

I decided to take the opportunity and I called my parents. At first they weren’t all that happy with the idea, but they knew that it would happen at some point. They liked Alex, and thought we were perfect together. They also knew that I would be able to focus more on my hockey in Providence, then back home in Dryden. They agreed to the arrangement. Alex was happy when I told him the news.

Providence, Rhode Island

The next afternoon I gave Sarabella a call. She was happy I was back in town and that Alex and I were back together. Her and I seemed to really hit it off the first time we had met. She was older, in her early 30’s, beautiful, and young at heart. Mike and her made a great couple although Mike was much younger, only twenty-eight. There was a much bigger age difference between her and Mike, than Alex and myself. She couldn’t wait to go with me to pick out the furniture. I was happy to have her help me since I was a terrible shopper.

It was 5:30 p.m., when Alex arrived home from practice. He rushed into the apartment bouncing into the living room. I was sitting on the couch, bored, watching some talk show that wasn’t doing a very good job at keeping my interest. He was dangling something from his hand with a big grin on his face.

“Madame, are you ready to see our new place?” He asked with the excitement of a fat kid eating cake.

“Seriously?” I asked stunned on how fast he had gotten everything worked out. “You got it already?”

“Grab your purse and jacket Hun.” He instructed me. I looked at him surprised.

“Is the apartment not in this building?” I questioned him. I knew the team owned the building and it was specifically for the players.

“No, I rented us a house right on the water.” He revealed.

“A house?” I was puzzled over his choice. “Why a house Alex?”

“Because you are the woman I love, and you deserve nothing but the best.” He grinned that crooked grin I loved so much.

I ran out the door much more excited then before. I couldn’t wait to see this house. On the way to the house he started to tell me about it. “It’s a three bedroom, two bathrooms, water front home in Island Park, Portsmouth. This house has been renovated with beautiful new wood floors, new kitchen appliances and counter tops, it has a full bath with a whirlpool tub. I know how you love your baths. It also has a gas fireplace, and a second floor deck. The family room is separate from the dining room, there is an office also. We can handle our hockey stuff out of there. It also has a big basement. I thought we could also rent some exercise equipment so we can workout together at home. What do you think?” He asked me smiling.

“It sounds amazing Alex. You said it’s right on the water?” I inquired.

“Yeah, it’s just a quaint little white house, but the view is spectacular. One of the guys on my team said he saw it on his way to the rink and mentioned it to me. So I left after practice and rented it on the spot as soon as I saw it.” He was smiling, like he was a kid in a candy store.

We pulled up in front of the house. It did look like a small older home. I could see the water from the driveway. I started to walk towards the water to check out the view but Alex stopped me. “You have to see the view from inside the house first Hun.” He demanded.

I agreed. I walked through the double front door and into the living room. There was a huge window with five separate window panels. I could see the water and the surrounding hills across the bay. The view was beautiful.

I walked slowly into the kitchen, and on the far left of the eating area were patio doors. I walked through them out onto the huge porch that had the most breathtaking view. I walked along the porch to another set of patio doors and walked through them back into the house and found myself standing in the master bedroom.

The bedroom was average size, but it did have a his and her closet and a full bathroom. I loved the house. It was perfect. It’s something I would have picked out if I had the money to purchase myself a home. It was scary how well Alex knew me.

I pulled Alex close to me and I wrapped my arms around him. I leaned up and gently kissed him on the lips. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes.

“You like it?” He asked.

“Alex, it’s perfect. I absolutely love it.” I confirmed. “You are just to good to me sometimes. I love you”.

“I was thinking that maybe you and me could spend tonight here. We could light a fire, spread out a blanket, order some food and sleep on the floor in front of the fire. What do you think?” He proposed the idea with an evil dirty smirk on his face. I knew what he was thinking.

“I think that would be a great idea.” I smiled and hugged him tighter.

That night was the most magical night of my life. It was more romantic than any book I had ever read. Something changed inside me that night. I wanted to be with Alex forever and I knew it. He became my life. I didn’t realize I could love anyone as much as I loved Alex.

He had to fly up to Boston the next day. I drove him to the airport so I could use his truck. I would have to get myself a little car, because driving the truck around was awkward for me. It was so big and I had problems parking it. I had gotten my license the week I had turned 16, in Dryden; however, I hadn’t done much driving over the last two years. Canada had a different driving rules, something about restrictions, so I never changed my license over. Now I was back in the United States, those restrictions didn’t apply here.

I met Sarabella at the furniture rental place. Alex was right. They had everything from furniture to kitchen utensils and we needed it all.

“I’m so excited that you’re living here now.” Sarabella exclaimed as she rushed up to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You are going to love it here.”

“I love the house Alex picked out. Wait until you see it. It’s perfect. It’s not huge, in fact its quaint, but I love it and the view is to die for.” I told her.

We walked into the store and a salesman approached us right away. He was in his mid 20’s and pretty good looking.

“Hello, ladies,” he said smiling. “What can I do for you two lovely ladies this afternoon?”

“My boyfriend and I just rented a three bedroom home, and I need to rent furnishings top to bottom. I am looking for simple furnishing nothing extravagant.” I explained to him.

“How long will you be renting it for?” He asked.

“I don’t really know. We are both hockey players and travel a lot. We have set down roots here for now, but that could change at anytime. I suppose we need some sort of agreement that would support this kind of lifestyle.” I explained.

“I thought I recognized you.” He acknowledged. “You’re Christine Matthews, you played on the USA World Junior Team. You’re a great player. So the rumors are true then?” He smirked “You and Reddrick?”

“Yes, I suppose the rumors are true then. And thanks.” I affirmed.

He showed me many different packages, and I chose the Stratford Collection. It was classic and simple. That would furnish most of the house. They would also supply all the kitchen items. They informed me that they could have it all delivered within 48 hours. I was grateful. Before leaving the salesman asked to take a picture with me and get my autograph. I obliged him.

I decided that I would go back to Alex’s apartment and pack up our things. I loaded them into the truck myself, and drove back to our new home. That sounded so odd. “OUR NEW HOME”. I said it a few times out loud. I made a bed on the floor out of the new blankets and pillows I had purchased that day and curled up in front of the fire place and fell asleep.

I woke up to my cell phone vibrating along the floor next to my head. I answered it. It was the furniture place. They would be able to deliver the home furnishings by noon. I got up quickly and cleaned up the area on the floor. I hopped into the shower and got dressed. The movers did everything. I was told to relax while they worked. I sat outside on the deck enjoying the view. I text Alex to tell him the furniture had arrived.

After everything was moved into the house. I decided to go do some groceries. I googled the closest grocery store. I didn’t know what to buy once I started walking up and down the aisles. We needed everything. I had Alex’s credit card with me. I knew this was going to end up being a big bill. I filled the cart and was shocked when the cashier told me the total. It had come to $343.94. I would never have spent so much, but we needed condiments as well as food. That’s what ended up running up the bill; that and all the cleaning supplies and laundry items.

I went home and unloaded all the items. It took me over two hours to find a place for everything. I decided to pour myself a glass of wine. I had taken six of the bottles that were in Alex’s kitchen when I was packing. I hoped they weren’t his roommate’s. I grabbed a blanket out of the closet and went outside and sat on the deck to enjoy my wine. It was dark and the glow from the city lights out over the water was spectacular.

Lonely

Alex had been gone over two weeks. I tried to keep myself busy. I went running every day. I worked out on the gym equipment I had rented. I went shopping a few times with Sarabella and Megan. I also joined them out for lunch a couple of times. I talked to Alex every day. It didn’t seem to be enough. I was starting to feel lonely. I missed him. I missed my family and friends.

I got a phone call from Moose. He was heading back up to Canada and thought he would stop by Providence on his way back home. I welcomed the visit. I missed Moose tons. He was one of my closest friends and he and Alex had known each for years. I told Alex and he seemed alright with the idea. He, Moose and I were all very good friends.

When I answered the door I almost didn’t recognize Moose. “What are they feeding you down there in South Carolina? You’re huge Kyle.” I giggled. I was trying to wrap my arms around him to give him a big hug.

“Yeah, I’m up to 230 lbs now, had to. I’m playing with a rough bunch of guys now.” He smirked.

“Holy you’re a monster now. I missed you. So come in and I’ll give you the tour of the homestead.” I laughed.

“I can’t believe you and him set up house. What are you going to do when the season starts again, or better yet what if you get drafted to the other side of the country?” He asked.

“Well, Alex and I agreed to take it one day at a time. Everything you see here is rented. If need be we just have them come pick it up. I really don’t want to think about what would happen if I got drafted to L.A. or Colorado, or somewhere else on the west coast. With my luck that’s exactly what will happen.” I sighed.

“This is a great little place you have here. Love the view. I’m starving, what do you say I take you out for dinner?” He suggested.

“That sounds great. I’m pretty hungry myself and I still haven’t mastered cooking yet. So it’s much better to eat out. Let me just go change and I’ll be ready in ten minutes.” I encouraged him to look around the house some more and to freshen up, while I was getting ready.

I didn’t know what to wear. It was a nice warm evening for April. Maybe I should put on a cute dress?

I slid on my black caviar beaded halter dress. It had a multicolor beaded embellished neck, with cut-in shoulders. It had a high banded waist and pleated, two-tier skirt with a back zip. As for shoes I decided to go with my licorice point toe suede heels. They had tonal top stitching and dipped sides with a four inch stiletto heel. I could get away with wearing them beside Moose since he was almost 6’4.

I put a few curls in my hair with the curling iron, that had been heating up while I got dressed. Then pinned part of it up with a hair clip and let the rest fall. I put on a little make up and lip gloss. I was ready to go. It felt good to dress up. Moose was already in a nice new pair of designer jeans and a nice dress shirt. When I walked out of the bedroom he whistled.

“Wow, Chris you look stunning,” he complimented. “Alex is one lucky guy. Have to admit it makes me envious of him.”

“Thanks Moose. I was thinking that maybe we could go to this great restaurant down on the water that Alex and I sometimes like to go to.”

“Sure.” He said as he took my hand to escort me out to his car that was parked in the driveway behind Alex’s truck. He was driving a brand new Honda Civic. It was a sharp looking car. I wouldn’t mind getting myself one of those. I could afford those payments.

I took him to The Boathouse restaurant. The Boathouse was just inside the gates of the Villages in Mount Hope Bay Condominiums. It has a wonderful view of the Sakonnet River. It was a nice quiet place where Moose and I could talk and catch up. I wasn’t expecting to run into anyone I knew there.

Megan was there with her sister. She kept looking over at our table. I smiled and nodded hello to her. I saw her take out her cell phone and start texting away. I chuckled.

“What’s so amusing Chris?” He asked curious.

“Megan just took out her phone and is texting someone. Probably the latest gossip on how I’m out for dinner with some strange handsome guy, while Alex is out of town playing.” I mused.

He laughed “Maybe we should give her something to text about.” He took my hand lightly into his and smiled up at me batting his eyes.

I couldn’t help but laugh, which must have looked like flirting. Adding fuel to the fire and to Moose’s childish facade. “Grow up Moose.” Just then my cell phone vibrated. It was Alex. I laughed at the text I saw. I had to read it out loud to Moose.

Hey Baby,

I heard you were out on a date at The Boathouse with some really big, ugly guy and you look smashing. Give Moose a great big kiss for me. Relay a message to him - Who do you think you are Jimmy Dangles, more like Timmy Tangles.

Love and miss you Hun

Alex.

“Wow, that didn’t take her long to tell him, did it.” He was not impressed at how fast gossip got around.

“Nope,” I replied.

“Who is she?” He asked still angry.

“She’s the girlfriend of one of Alex’s teammates here in Providence. His name is Brian.” I explained. “Right now, my life is a day by day experiment. I don’t know what is going to happen from one day to the next.”

“You seem sad Chris. What’s wrong?” He asked sincerely.

“I guess I am just feeling lonely right now. I miss Alex when he’s away. I miss my family and friends. It’s hard being in a new city. I have a few friends here.” I pointed to Megan. ”As you can see they are just people I socialize with, not real friends.”

We ate our lobster dinners, drank two bottles of wine during dinner. I probably drank most of the wine. It amused me that everyone knew who I was, which meant they also knew my age; but no one ever I.D.’d me when I ordered at dinner. The drinking age in the United States is twenty-one; unlike Canada where it’s eighteen in some places and nineteen everywhere else.

Moose was driving, I didn’t notice him drinking much at all. I however, was extremely giddy. He paid for the meal and escorted me out to the car. Megan waited until we were in the car before she came out to hers. I noticed her following us on the way home. I burst out laughing.

“Moose, she’s actually following us home.” I shook my head. I couldn’t believe it.

“Nice friends! Her poor boyfriend. I bet he can’t do shit around Mrs. Sherlock Holmes, over there.” He sneered.

She stopped half a block from my house to watch. Moose helped me out of the car and into the house. I deliberately closed all the front curtains in the house so she couldn’t see in from the street.

I texted Alex to tell him what she was doing and added that before tonight I didn’t realize she was actually insane. I had always gotten a strange vibe from her but this was ridiculous.

Moose had enough. He went to the fridge and poured a glass of lemonade. He walked outside the front door with it. I peaked out the window. It was open so I could hear everything. She had moved her car right in front of the house once we had come inside. He walked up to the window of her car and knocked on it.

“Can I help you?” She asked him stunned.

“I just thought I would bring you a glass of lemonade. I figured you might get thirsty on your little stake out here,” he managed to say with a straight face.

I was on the floor in the corner by the window laughing. She just glared at him and sped away. I laughed harder. I could just imagine what was going through her head at this moment. Moose came back into the house and helped me up from the floor.

“Now you have female stalkers?” He accused. “Hope she doesn’t crawl through the window tonight. I don’t have my baseball bat with me.” He jeered.

I started a fire in the living room and opened another bottle of wine. I pulled the blanket over my legs and snuggled up to Moose on the couch. We talked about everything going on in his life.

He and Lena had broken up. She was living down in South Carolina. She had gotten a job with a marketing company, who had sponsored her. She had a full year left on her contract. She liked South Carolina. She was trying to immigrate there. He said they were still friends, but that neither of them were feeling the love in their relationship any more. It had been a mutual split. We talked about everything else that we had both been doing over the last year. I must have fallen asleep.

The next thing I knew I was being carried into the bedroom and placed on the bed. Moose turned to leave the room. I stopped him.

“Don’t leave, sleep here with me tonight.” I invited him into the bed.

“Like the old days eh?” He laughed. “You must really be lonely Chris.” He crawled into the far side of the bed and snuggled up to me. We both fell asleep. It was innocent, but I suppose if one didn’t understand our friendship they might be inclined to think more of what it was then people who knew us.

The next morning I did my best to fix Moose an eatable breakfast. He pretended to enjoy it. He was heading out this afternoon. He wanted to be back home for his best friend’s birthday bash.

“You know Chris, I have to confess something to you,” he smirked.

“Oh yeah, what’s that Moose?”.

“I wanted to date you real bad back when you first joined the Gophers. My better judgment stopped me from making any moves. And then, well, you and Alex hooked up and I wasn’t about to step on his toes. It’s clear to me now that things sometimes happen for a reason. You and Alex make a great couple.”

“Awe, Moose,” I went over to him sitting on the chair and gave him a big hug and kiss.

“I think you are an amazing guy Moose. You are handsome, smart and have so much to offer a woman. It won’t be long and you’ll meet the prefect woman for you.”

I gave Moose a bag of snacks I had packed for his drive back up to Canada, then I walked him out to his car. I noticed Megan reading a magazine in her car. She now had with a friend of hers with her, and she was parked two doors away. Her friend nudged her suddenly. I chuckled. Moose didn’t see her. I couldn’t believe that she had come back to sit outside my house and spy on me.

I gave Moose and big hug and a kiss goodbye. He got into his car and drove away. I turned and started walking back towards the house. Megan bolted out of her car and ran up to me.

“What the hell are you doing?” She demanded. “How could you cheat on Alex like that?”

“First off Megan, it’s not really any of your business what I do. Second, I didn’t appreciate you texting Alex about what you saw at dinner last night. Thirdly, why the hell are you stalking me? It’s really creepy and fourth, Alex already knew Moose was visiting and staying the night. The three of us are best friends and old teammates.” I scolded her.

“Oh, really. I’m so sorry.” She hung her head in shame.

“You should be. Why would you try to cause shit between Alex and me?” I said with my voice raised almost to a yell.

“I didn’t. I just thought you might be cheating on him. That’s all.” She yelled back at me.

“Next time, don’t think. Next time mind your own business.” I walked passed her into my house and slammed the door.

I called Sarabella to tell her what had just transpired. She started laughing hysterically. However, she did have a warning for me.

“I think Megan has had a thing for Alex for a while now. You might want to watch your back with that one,” she warned.

Great! This was the last thing I needed. Extra stress. I wasn’t about to let Megan and her crush on Alex get to me.

Alex was back two days later. I was happy to see him. I had missed him immensely. We discussed what would happen at the end of the season. Did we want to stay here in Providence or move somewhere else. I told him I wouldn’t mind staying in Providence. I liked it here. I liked it all, except for the incident with Megan.

I warned Alex that I was pretty sure she had a thing for him. He told me he would mention what Megan did to his teammate. The last thing that Brian needed was to have a psycho girlfriend on his hands. Alex did inform me that before Brian started dating Megan she had been with another player that used to play on the team until he was traded.

Pressure

The NHL Entry Draft, it was being held in June, at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. My family and Alex were there to support me at the draft. I was nervous. I had dropped down to number nine on the mock draft list. I wondered if I would even get drafted.

I had spent the last several months, being interviewed by various NHL teams. The Atlanta Thrasher had the first pick of the draft. I didn’t get a good vibe off them when I interviewed with them. I could probably forget about being picked first.

The Islanders picked 6th and I left them with a good feeling. I really enjoyed that interview. Colorado was 7th and was also a good interview.

I got along great with everyone in the Boston organization. However, in that interview there was a conflict with Alex already on their team. They had asked me many questions about how Alex and I were prepared to handle several possible situations.

I answered them as honestly as I could. Alex had told me that they had also taken him aside, and talked to him about the same issues. They weren’t picking until 9th.

My dream team to play for of course without a doubt would be the Flyers and they didn’t pick until 24th. Then there was a very big possibility that I wouldn’t get picked at all. It happens all the time at the draft.

I was fidgeting in my seat. Alex grabbed my hand and told me to relax. I couldn’t relax. I was sweating. I was feeling nausiated. I couldn’t focus on any one thing. I was a wreck. I noticed Joe Sim sitting a few rows away from me with his family. I nodded at him. He looked just as nervous as I was. Then my agent came and sat down with us.

“Just letting you know that I have heard some talk and it looks like New Jersey and Vancouver are trying to make some trades to get you as their picks.” Then he got up and walked away before I could remark about it. New Jersey would at least be close to Alex. Vancouver, the West coast - great team, but that would just be my luck.

I looked up at Alex for reassurance. He had been here and done this all before.

“Christine, wherever you go, we will find a way to work it out. Don’t worry about anything.” He soothed me.

I glanced at my father. ”Not another Canadian team. You need to stay in the country this time Chrissy,” he mumbled. “I never get to see you as it is.”

The draft started. Teams 1-4 had made their picks, and I had not been called. It was pick five now, the Minnesota Wild, here where the draft was being held. They picked our goalie Tyler Plouffe. The crowd cheered loudly. I cheered with them. I was happy for Tyler. I waved and gave him the thumbs up as he walked by me.

Then the commissioner stood up and announced a trade between the New York Islanders and the Tampa Bay Lightening. My heart sunk. My interview with Tampa had gone well also. I held my breath and then Tampa announced their pick, Brad Conners, out of the US college program. That was a shock; he was not even listed in the first two rounds of the mock draft. Good for him!

I kept sliding down the draft, as the next few teams picked. We were already at pick 15 with the Buffalo Sabres picking now. After them it would be Calgary. Both picks went by and my name still had not been called. I was really starting to think I would not be picked in the first round.

All the interviews I thought went well, those teams had passed me over, including Boston. Alex comforted me and reminded me we were only half way through the first round.

I had a feeling I would go number 23 to the New Jersey Devils like my agent had suggested I might. However, they did not call my name; they picked a Swedish player from the elite league. I was never going to get picked. I just put my head down between my knees. I had tuned everything out and was just concentrating on my breathing when Alex shook me.

“Philadelphia Chrissy, they just called you!” He exclaimed almost jumping out of his seat beside me.

I looked up at him. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The Flyers had picked me? I didn’t think the interview went that well. My dream team. I looked towards the stage and there, holding a jersey for me was Toby Chalke. I guess he was the one who actually called my name. I hadn’t realized.

I found my footing and walked up onto the platform. I shook his hand and put on the jersey. On the back it said Matthews. They must have known they were picking me, or they wouldn’t have my name on my jersey. I was elated. It seemed like everything was in slow motion. I placed the baseball cap on my head and stood with the team staff for the pictures, then was escorted towards the interview table.

How was I suppose to do an interview now. I was still in shock. Philadelphia had taken a chance on me. Picked 24th in the first round. I was picked before Joe. I knew that would get under his skin a little.

I was instructed to sit down beside Toby Chalke and the interviewer at the table they had set up. I smiled up at Toby and he smirked. The interview started.

Christine, how does it feel to be picked by your favorite team and to have your hockey hero call out your name?

I can’t describe the feeling Jim. It truly is a dream come true. I am honored to be chosen by such a great organization. And to have Mr. Chalke call my name, I was literally speechless.

Now Toby , why did you decided to go with Christine? She’s a great player, but there was a lot of talk about the fact that she is a girl, and this is still very much a man’s sport.

Jim, Philadelphia is known for taking chances. We’re famous for it. Christine is a fantastic hockey player, with great skill. She has a good head on her shoulder’s, and she plays hockey for all the right reasons. She is humble and gets along with everyone she has ever played with. I have spoken to her coaches, and they had nothing but praise for Christine. She has proven herself through her perseverance. To us, in the Philadelphia Flyers organization; we believe she will be a great fit for our team.

Christine, everyone is well aware of your relationship with Alex Reddrick who plays for the Boston Bruins. Will this have any affect on your game or location?

That is a personal question Jim. Alex and I both understand our careers come first. It’s as simple as that. We have managed before and worked through it, and we can manage now. There will not be any issue on that front. I have my priorities straight. It was also a question that many of the teams asked me in my interviews and I answered them the same way I am answering you now.

Well thank you Toby and Christine and we wish you and your team the best of luck in the upcoming season.

Toby shook my hand and motioned me towards the rest of the press tables. I spent the rest of the evening doing media and press related things. I finally found Alex and my family late in the evening. It was past 10:00 p.m. I was exhausted. I just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep.

“Well, you got your wish Chrissy,” my father said as we walked back to the hotel. ”For you to play on the same team as your precious bums did.” He chuckled. He still had a hate on for the Flyers. He would have to get over that now that I was a member of the team.

I didn’t even shower when Alex and I got back to our room. I crawled into bed fully clothed. Alex tried to take my pants off for me because I was to tired to bend, but I passed out cold on him. Once he got those off he gave up and just covered me up and crawled into bed with me.

The next morning I was talking to Alex. I figured out that if I didn’t make the Flyer’s team at camp I would be heading back to Toronto to play my season with the Gophers. I was only going to be nineteen, and you had to be twenty to play in the AHL; if you came out of the CHL. It is an agreement between the NHL and the CHL. The agreement applies to junior aged players. This agreement protects CHL teams from losing their star players to AHL teams. The actual age limit for the AHL is eighteen, the twenty year old rule only applies to CHL players. I could be eighteen and play in the NHL though. I needed to make the Flyer’s roster at their camp or I would be heading back to Junior’s.

If I made the team, it would be a five and a half hour drive to Boston to visit Alex, or for him to come visit me. It would still be closer than Toronto. We would work things out. I knew we could manage. We loved each other, but we both understood how important our careers were.

After a short visit to Dryden to visit with my family, Alex and I both flew back to Providence, Rhode Island.

It felt good to be home. In our home. I would miss it; miss the playing house part, while we were apart. I knew I could handle it. I hoped to God that Alex could. We enjoyed the summer together. We trained hard and enjoyed everything that we could do together. We even bought a couple of kayaks and started kayaking on the nice days. We were getting pretty good at it.

I went to Sarabella’s baby shower. Her and Mike were having their first baby. It was going to be a boy. I was so happy for her. I actually had fun picking out the gifts Alex and I bought them. We bought them the car seat they wanted. I also went a little crazy on the outfits I bought for the baby. Of course I had to buy a little mommy gift for Sarabella as well. I bought her some great bath kits from her favorite bath and body store. I added in my favorite bath bombs. Alex sat down beside me as I was wrapping the gifts.

“A baby boy for Mike and Sar,” he smiled. I knew what he was getting at. He had told me that he always wanted a big family. He used to say, “let’s have a dozen, name them after donuts.” It always made me laugh.

No way was I considering children. I had hockey and Alex, that was enough for me. I liked kids, but I liked to be able to hand them back to their parents after I was finished playing with them.

“Not for a long while Alex. I am definitely not ready for that, so don’t even go there with me.” I smacked him.

I was a long way from having children. I wanted to focus on my career, then eventually marriage and kids not until later in life if any. I had told him many times how I felt about that. He knew what he was getting into with me. I told him if he wanted kids, I was sure his friend Megan would be happy to assist him. He laughed.

I was packing for the Flyer’s camp and Alex was getting things arranged to fly up to Boston for his camp. We had made arrangements for the leasing company to pick everything up later that week. We had also made arrangements with the landlord. I would miss this house. I liked it a lot.

I already knew what to expect out of the NHL camp, because I had watched Alex several times at the Boston Bruins camp. I was excited. Alex took me to the airport and kissed me goodbye.

I noticed as I walked through the gate, a reporter had stopped him on his way out. I’m glad it was him and not me. I hated doing press. He loved talking to the press. I knew it was part of the job, but I was never really comfortable with it.

Oh joy, oh joy! I would arrive Friday and first thing Saturday morning was team physicals and testing. Testing and physicals in the NHL were similar to our testing and training camp only much more intense.

We would start our preseason on Sunday. I knew I was playing at least seven preseason games with the Flyer’s. After that they would have to give me a contract or send me back to Toronto for the season. The first game I suited up, but didn’t see the ice. I was disappointed, but I knew I had to bide my time. I would get my chance. I did well in the preseason. The coaching staff was unsure about me staying on the Flyer’s team this season. They wanted me to develop a little more.

I liked Philadelphia immensely. It was a working class kind of city. The people here were awesome. Down to earth, hard working people and they loved their hockey. What I loved most is that they still remembered and honored the Broad Street Bullies. I thought I was the only person of my generation to know who they were. Kids here as young as seven knew who they were. My father would hate it in Philadelphia. That thought made me laugh.

The coaching staff of the Flyer’s took two extra days to debate, before they called me into their office. They were going to keep me in Philadelphia. Since I was eighteen, I could play in the NHL. I was ecstatic. My dream of playing in the NHL had officially come true. I would now have to do my best to be a role model to all young girls in the sport. Hold my head high and play with all my heart. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I would have my work cut out for me. Juniors would be a walk in the park compared to the NHL.

I called Ben Killerman, who had already suspected that I might be staying up in Philly. He had made sure to pick his team during camp accordingly. He always had so much faith in me. Him working his camp around it didn’t surprise me at all. I called Alex and then my parents.

My father said he would never cheer for the Philadelphia Flyers, but he would cheer for me. The stubborn old fool. I loved him!

It would be interesting going up against Boston. Philly and Boston being such rivals. Alex was playing for the enemy. The thought amused me. By no means would Alex take it easy on me either. He wasn’t afraid to check me into the boards, and I knew it. In the preseason games, Philly had not played me on the ice when Alex was out there. However, I suspected that would change quickly.

When I told my father what Philly had signed me for, I could hear the phone drop on his end, $875,000.00 annually for the next three years with room to negotiate after each season.

I played with Philly over the following three years. Surprisingly, the team, the organization and the fans were all very accepting of me being on the team. I figured I would have some issues because I was a woman. No one seemed to care. They loved the fact that I played hard and did my part.

It was in the second year I was with them, that we won the Stanley Cup. It was the first time the Philadelphia Flyers had won the Stanley Cup since 1975. The city shut down for the day. There was pandemonium in the streets. It was the greatest feeling in the world. To drink from that cup, along with my teammates. Amazing! Of course I rubbed it into Alex that I had won a cup and he hadn’t. Alex was great about it. I am sure a less confident man would have had issues with a girlfriend who was playing hockey in the National Hockey League.

My family was at the Stanley Cup Final. My father had never been so proud. The Peats had also made it down for that game. I had remained in contact with them on a regular basis.

Alex and I had managed to maintain a sort of healthy relationship over the years, but the distance was starting to take its toll on us. It was frustrating traveling back and forth. We were both lonely without each other. Something had to change and change soon. Neither of us of course were willing to give up our careers. We would have to find a way to work around them.

We wanted to get married the coming summer. We had our agents working behind the scenes to find a team that would take a chance and trade for us both. Alex agreed to take less money on the deal. He was presently making $3,550,000.00. I had renegotiated my contract with the Flyers and was making just slightly under that amount. We could handle taking a cut to get a sweet offer from a team who wanted us both.

Vancouver came back with an Offer for us. I had remembered that back at the draft, Vancouver had tried to trade up to get me. Now they would take us both. I was so happy. I was offered $1,625,000.00, and Alex would have to agree to $2,500,000.00. We accepted the offer right away. Vancouver was a great city with a solid team and great fan base.

The fans in Vancouver were welcoming. They truly seemed to like the idea of having a couple on the team. The organization, and the city made us feel so welcomed. It was beyond what we could have hoped for.

One fan told me a few months after I had been with Vancouver that seeing us together on the team helped her and her husband to try harder to understand each other.

Alex and I worked many charity events together. We understood that putting on an NHL jersey meant you had to give back to the fans and the community who supported you. Being an NHL player came with obligations. We loved doing it.

The city treated us like part of their family. I loved living in Vancouver. It is a beautiful city. The prettiest city I had ever seen. It had a little bit of everything. From farm land, ocean, to majestic mountains. It was fairly warm in the winter as well, however; the rain took some getting used to.

We had a beautiful summer wedding up in Whistler, British Columbia. It was a nice ceremony with our friends, family and teammates. I wasn’t one of those girls who used to dream about their wedding. I truly never thought I would ever get married.

Our wedding took place at the Raven’s Nest on top of Creekside Gondola. It was only a ten minute gondola ride to get there. The venue was very private with a spectacular view. I wore a beautiful wedding gown from Maggie Sottero. It was a one-piece, strapless, full A-line gown with corset closure. It had a satin bodice with embellished chantilly lace motifs, and a contrast band accentuating my natural waistline. Sparkling chantilly lace also surrounded the hem of the fully gathered tulle skirt creating exquisite scalloped edging.

Our wedding photographer took pictures of us and the wedding party all over the mountain, including in the gondola. They turned out magnificent. It really was the perfect summer wedding. The mountains were covered in snow; yet it was exceptionally warm. The best of my two favorite seasons, summer and winter.

I never imagined that I would actually get married so young if I got married at all. It’s funny how life surprises you. You just never know where the heart will lead you.

Cathy and Harry flew up for our wedding also. My gift to them for how kind they had been to me, I paid for their flight and hotel. I was so happy to see them. They had visited me a few times when I was in Philadelphia. I considered them part of my family.

We took our honeymoon in Aruba, for a week, because I loved the island so much. Then headed right back to work. I had a great season with the Vancouver Canucks. One of the best I had ever played.

The playoffs started off well for me also, but then half way through the playoffs - I started to feel really sick and tired all the time. I had the team doctor look at me.

When he called me to give me the results, everything went foggy, I had fainted. Would this be the end for me?

Your Life Can Change in an Instant

I didn’t know what I was going to do. I begged the doctor to keep it to himself, and not tell the team owners for as long as he could. I knew full well that wouldn’t be long. I needed time to process the situation. I needed time to sit down with Alex. He agreed, but told the coach I was going to be too sick to play the rest of the playoffs.

What was I going to do. This would change everything. How would the team feel about it? How would the fans feel about it? The instant I was told by the doctor, I already knew in my heart what my decision was going to be. I just didn’t know how anyone else would feel about it.

After the game I sat down with Alex in our living room. I scanned our small apartment. He watched me curiously.

“I think we need to move. Buy a bigger place. This place is to small.” I giggled.

He looked at me strangely. “What’s going on Chris?”

He would never have guessed. I would have never guessed, because we had always been so careful.

“Alex, you’re going to be a daddy!” I blurted out.

Tears filled my eyes I was so happy. He started crying as well. He wanted this for a while now. He jumped off the couch and spun me around. Then it hit him.

“Hockey?” He exclaimed. “What did the team say?”

“I haven’t spoken to them yet. The doctor said he’d give me two days to figure things out. There was no doubt in my mind as soon as he told me I was pregnant, that I would definitely be keeping my baby. I just needed the two days to enjoy the moment.” I explained to him.

“What’s your plan, what’s our plan?” He corrected himself.

“I’m hoping that the team won’t have to much of a problem coming to some kind of deal regarding me having a child. Hopefully, shortly after I have it, I can play again. I was going to work with the doctor and a trainer to keep fit while I’m carrying. I don’t know how they will feel about the issue. If they don’t agree, I suppose I will have no choice. It just might be the end of hockey for me.” I said sadly.

“You’re only twenty-three Christine. You have so many years of good hockey left in you, and they know that. I think they would be willing to come to some sort of compromise.” Alex was sure they would.

I wished I could have his faith. I didn’t. I knew full well this would also bring up the other issue of why women should not play in the NHL.

I called my agent and we set up a meeting with the Vancouver Canucks management and owners.

I was nervous when I walked into the team office. I turned to Alex. He also had to be part of this meeting. It affected him as well. I never believed anything could mean more to me than hockey ever could. Now I had two things that meant more. Alex and my unborn baby.

The doctor had let it out to the staff that indeed I was pregnant. My agent had informed me of that before the meeting. The doctor would also be joining us in this meeting. He was taking my side. He was willing to work with me to make sure I would be ready to play within two months of having the baby; provided everything went well throughout the pregnancy and birth. He said he would also ensure them that I was young and this should not, in any way affect my ability to play hockey after the baby was born.

Once we were seated in the room, we were greeted with much congratulations from everyone there. The meeting lasted over three hours. They felt they could work this situation in the public and it might benefit their team with public relations. They were fine with the situation. Of course there were a few financial conditions and conditions upon my return after the baby came. Nothing that would hurt us over the next few years. We finally came to an agreement.

Alex and I left the meeting happy. Tomorrow we would have to attend a team press conference and make the announcement with the General Manager of the team. We both couldn’t wait to tell our parents the great news.

After we told our parents they were all thrilled. My father said he hoped it was a girl that wanted to play hockey, so I would understand what he felt dealing with me. I laughed.

The press conference went well. The media jumped on the story immediately. It was all over the news. The Vancouver Canucks were supportive of us starting a family and doing everything they could to help with the transition. They said everyone knew the NHL was venturing into a new era of hockey. More women seemed to be playing the sport, and teams had to change with the times. They were proud to be the leaders in this new change. The fans liked the idea. Vancouver suddenly got a whole new accumulation of women supporters. They were right, it did help them out.

I was nervous about my first ultra sound appointment. Alex would be able to come with me and I was happy about that. I was laying on the table looking over at the monitor trying to figure out what I was seeing. It seemed like weird smudges. I could see many things, but really couldn’t tell what they were. The doctor smiled up at me.

“Do you see that right there? And hear that? Two heart beats.” He announced. “Twins!”

TWINS! That was the last thing I was expecting to hear. Alex looked like he was about to burst out of his skin with excitement.

All that was running though my head was Holy Crap! It would take me twice as long to get ready to play again. Two of everything would be needed. We would have to hire a nanny who could handle twins and our schedule. So many things could go wrong delivering twins, all things we were going to have to buy; and worst of all, I would get humungous. Anything I could possibly worry about passed through my thoughts within seconds. I was happy. I was just scared to death. Twins.

I took it easy during the pregnancy. I sat with the wives and the girlfriends during the games. I did a lot of charity work. Mostly with children’s charities and at the children’s hospital. I still worked out somewhat, but the doctor monitored me very closely during the entire pregnancy. I had only played three years and eight months in the NHL. I wasn’t ready for my career to end. I was missing the game. It was hard to sit up in the stands watching my teammates out there, and not be able to help them as my belly began to balloon.

Fans would approach me and ask to touch my belly. They all gave their good wishes to my babies, or gave me homemade gifts for them. It was very nice of them.

I was due January 16th. I knew that it was common for twins to come early. Mine were no different. New Years Eve at 7:00 p.m. I screamed at Alex, “Hurry get me to the hospital now.” Thankfully, he was not on the road playing.

Much pain, and eighteen hours later, two beautiful baby boys were laying in my arms. Cole Alexander Reddrick and Gage Christian Reddrick.

They were the tiniest beings I had ever seen. And they were mine! I cannot describe the feeling. My family was complete. All my dreams had come true and dreams I didn’t even know I wanted.

I was back on the ice in the fall. I had a great season with Vancouver. Both Alex and myself signed with them for another three seasons.

Four years after the boys were born, Alex got hit hard and busted his knee. He would never again be able to play hockey at the NHL level.

At first he moped around depressed for about a month. It took him a while to process things. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He was really starting to annoy the nanny. She told me that he was hovering over her every move. He was obviously bored.

I sat him down one night and discussed things he might want to do with his life. He suggested coaching. I told him I would support him if that is what he wanted to do.

He and I both knew it was an honor to be able to coach. He thought it would be nice to help develop young players, as Ben had done with us. I had to agree with him. It would be a great way to give back to hockey for what it had given to us.

He took a coaching job coaching Major Junior hockey right there in Vancouver. I continued playing with the Canucks for another two seasons.

I decided to retire from playing when Alex got offered a job with Boston; to coach their AHL team, the Providence Bruins in Rhode Island. The boys were six now, and I wanted to spend more time with them. I also wanted to have more children. This pleased Alex, since he always seemed to want his own little hockey team of children.

We both loved Providence, it was a special place for us. I agreed to the life change without a second thought. I had fulfilled my dreams and even won a Stanley Cup. This choice would be the best choice for my family. There was nothing I would not do for my family.

We have been in Providence since I retired from the NHL. I work in the Providence Bruins Office, handling accounting and public relations. We are very happy with the way our lives turned out.

We have seven children now, four boys and three girls. All of our children except one, play hockey. Our son Cayden prefers baseball to hockey. I make sure to go out of my way to support him with his choice remembering, how hard it was on me when I was younger.

My family and Alex’s family are all very close. We make sure to visit often or have them visit us. I realized how important family is over the years. My father and I have a very close relationship now. Hockey managed to finally bridge that gap between us. The Peat’s and Ben Killerman are also regular fixtures in our life and Moose is the Godfather to one of my daughters.

Hockey has been very good to my family and me. It was the greatest gift. It made me grow up, and mature faster then most teenagers. It was worth every minute of it. I owe a lot to hockey for what it has brought me over the years. I built a strong bond with the guys I played with over the years and most of us still try and keep in touch although it is difficult.

I love my family and have been blessed in life. I will be the first to tell anyone to make sure to chase your dreams. They are reachable if you just believe and keep your eye on the “PUCK”.

Quick Reference

CHL – Canadian Hockey League

OHL – Ontario Hockey League

NHL – National Hockey League

AHL – American Hockey League

ECHL – East Coast Hockey League

MVP – Most Valued Player

FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation

CIA – Central Intelligence Agency

Broad Street Bullies – one of pro sports’ most polarizing teams. The legendary Philadelphia Flyers Stanley Cup championship squads of the 1970s, athletes, who won back-to-back Stanley Cups in 1974 and 1975 with a bold, aggressive style that sparked criticism and controversy. The names used in this story were not real Broad Street Bullies. The real Bullies were Bobby Clarke and Dave The Hammer Schultz.

Author’s Comments:

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Although some places, teams, hockey leagues, players, etc. are mentioned by name it was purely to help make the story more realistic.

The NHL, AHL, CHL or their affiliates did not endorse this book. The views are purely those of the author. This book is pure fiction, and was written for entertainment and enjoyment purposes only.

I chose to use the Philadelphia Flyer’s as the base hockey team in this book, because I myself am a huge Flyers and Bobby Clarke fan. I have been since the 1970s. The character of Toby Chalke was modeled after Bobby Clarke. I also chose Boston and Vancouver because I have always liked their organizations.

There have been many women who have played professional hockey on men’s teams, including the NHL. I suggest doing some research on these very inspirational women. For anybody interested in finding out more about women who play men’s professional hockey; there are several resources such as The Canadian Hockey Association, which contains history on women in hockey back to the late 1800’s.

I hope that this book will inspire people of all ages to chase after their dreams. You are never to young or old to follow your dreams.

About the Author:

Kelli (Kiki) Sullivan was born in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She has traveled extensively and has lived abroad. She enjoys the outdoors and all sports, her favorite being hockey. She is a history and war buff, and loves to work on genealogy in her spare time. She started working in television when she was only 16 years old; where she was the recipient of several television production awards, and since then held a variety of positions in various fields.

After years of extensive traveling and career changing she decided to start writing for the fun of it. Ice in My Veins was her first novel. “Rocket to the Moon” is a children’s book about using your imagination. She is also a published Poet and won an editor’s choice award for her poem “Caves”.