FALLING HARD

At the Party #2

By Lauren Barnholdt

Copyright 2010 Lauren Barnholdt, all rights reserved

This is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is coincidental

Emily

Throwing parties, to me, is a waste of time.  Who wants to let tons of strangers into your house (because, let’s face it, half the people who show up are randoms), let them drink and cause destruction, and then have to clean up after them the next day?  Not me.

The only reason I have even have these ridiculous parties is because of my mom.  She was pretty scandalous when she was younger.  You know the type --  lots of boyfriends, lots of football players, and lots of cheerleading parties.  She was a total walking cliché, which I’ve figured out is the main problem with our relationship -- she just can’t wrap her head around the fact that I don’t weigh 115 (135), I’m not 5’8”, (5’3”) and I don’t have beautiful blonde hair (a weird color halfway between blonde and brown that’s kind of drab and not shiny at all.)  So I throw these parties because she gets really excited about it.  And people do come, not because I’m popular or because they care about hanging out with me, but because they need a place to party.

So I guess it kind of works out.  The only problem is that a lot of time I end up standing in a corner of my own house ,feeling like an outsider.  Although it’s not like I really try.  I mostly only talk to my best friend, Jasper.  I should probably socialize more, I think, as I stand off to the side in my living room , surveying the scene.  Jasper’s not here yet, so I’ve hardly talked to anyone.  I take a sip out of the water bottle I’m holding and wait to see someone I semi-know.  Miraculously, I don’t have to wait long.  A girl in my class, Brooke, goes walking by with her two friends, Gabriella and Paige.

“Hi, Brooke,” I say, smiling at her.  “I’m glad you could come.  How are you?”

“Fine,” she says, not sounding at all like she’s fine.  Brooke hates me.  She thinks I stole her boyfriend in eighth grade. Which I didn’t.  (I won’t get into it, but there was a misunderstanding where the guy in question told me they were already broken up, and silly me, I believed him.  But then he dumped me like three days later and moved on to Shana Gold, telling her that I broke up with him.) Anyway, that was like, five years ago, but Brooke’s still holding a grudge.  It just goes to show you.  Brooke’s here, at my house, at my party, and she hates me.

I decide I need something stronger than water if I’m going to make it through this crazy shindig.  My mom doesn’t care if we drink, or at least, she thinks she doesn’t.  Whenever I have one of these parties, she takes off and goes out to dinner with whatever guy she’s dating at the time (my mom has become like Super Crazy Dating Woman ever since my parents got divorced six months ago), and then usually ends up spending the night at his house.  Which means she doesn’t have to see the end result of teenagers drinking, which is usually crying, puking, confessions, and lots of taxis being called. If she did, she might have a different idea about her laissez-faire, European attitude.

I pull a pitcher out of the cabinet, fill it with water, and then add a packet of cherry Kool-Aid.  I guess I’ll put some vodka in it or something.  I should have made Jell-o shots.  Not because I like them, but because when you make Jell-o shots, you have a reason to stay in the kitchen, away from your own party.  There’s a lot that goes into Jell-o shots – boiling water and adding ice to make them set quicker and checking on them when they’re in the refrigerator and --

“You’re making it wrong,” a voice says behind me.

“Excuse me?” I ask, turning around.  Ashton Wagner is standing there, looking over my shoulder at what I’m doing with the Kool-Aid.  He’s so close that his chest is almost touching my back, and I can smell his cologne, something yummy that makes my breath catch in my throat.  “What do you mean I’m making it wrong?”

“You’re supposed to put the Kool-Aid in before you add the water.”  He shakes his head, like he can’t believe how dumb I’m being.  Then he grabs a paper cup off the counter and pours himself some of the half-made Kool-Aid.  He takes a sip and then makes a face.  “Disgusting.”

“It’s disgusting because it doesn’t have any sugar in it yet.”

He ignores me, and instead picks up the pitcher, and then pours the whole thing down the drain.

“What the hell are you doing?” I ask, grabbing the pitcher out of his hand.  “That’s fucked up.  You can’t just go around wasting other people’s Kool-aid.”  Seriously, who does he think he is?  Just because half the school worships him doesn’t mean he can just come in here and take over my Kool-Aid making.  I mean, the nerve.

Ashton looks around the kitchen, taking in the granite countertops, brand new cabinets, and double broiler flat top oven.  He raises his eyebrows at me as if to say, “I think you’ll survive.”  But then he shrugs, reaches his hand into his pocket, and pulls out a handful of coins.  He sets them on the counter.

“What’s that?” I ask.

He counts the change.  “Fifty-seven cents,” he says.  “I think that’s about what Kool-Aid is going for nowadays.”

“Kool-Aid is way more than fifty-seven cents,” I say, not knowing if it’s true.  “Especially if you include the sugar.”

“There was no sugar in that pitcher,” he says.  “Remember?”  His tone is teasing, and he smiles at me, and I have that weird feeling in my throat again, the kind where it feels like I can’t swallow, and my heart is racing.

“Oh,” I say.  “Right.”  I push my hair out of my face, feeling awkward.  Ashton Wagner and I don’t hang out in the same social circles.  His is the kind of circle that my mom would love me to be in.  The super popular, super athletic, super arrogant circle.

“So,” he says,  “Now that I’ve paid for the wasted Kool-Aid, have I earned the right to make the pitcher myself?”

“I guess,” I say, reluctantly stepping out of the way.

He adds the sugar and the Kool-Aid packet first, then slides the pitcher under the faucet until it’s full.  He stirs it all with a spoon, and then takes a sip RIGHT OUT OF THE PITCHER.  Without even bothering to get a cup or anything.  “Perfect,” he declares.  “And ready for the alcohol.”

He holds it out to me, indicating that I should take a sip from the pitcher.  I hesitate, but I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of wimp, so finally, I lean forward and take a drink.  He’s watching me, waiting for my approval, and the way he’s looking at me is making flames shoot out all down my body.  “It’s good,” I say after I swallow.

And it is.  Definitely way more delicious than what I normally make.  Although it could have something to do with the feeling in my stomach.

He grins at me, and then disappears into the crowd.  I turn around and grip the edge of the kitchen counter, trying to calm my heart.  God, I really need to get it together.  If all it takes is one conversation with a cute boy to get me this worked up, I have problems.  I add a little bit of vodka to the Kool-Aid and then pour myself a glass, hoping it will wash away the jittery feeling that’s pulsing through my body.

Forget it, I tell myself.  It’s Ashton Wagner.  He has gorgeous tan skin and perfect teeth and spiky brown hair and the perfect amount of stubble.  He’s beautiful.   And if I start fantasizing about him, then I really am drinking the Kool-Aid.

Ashton

Emily Mulally is beautiful.  The kind of beautiful that assaults you out of nowhere, the kind of beautiful that you never realized you wanted until you’re making Kool-Aid with it.  Okay, that sounds lame.

But seriously, when I walked into the kitchen, and she was there, making Kool-Aid, and I came up behind her…. I don’t know, something about the look on her face, and the way her body felt pressed against my chest made me feel like I wanted to get to know her better.  Of course, then I had to go and leave.  But that was mostly because I just didn’t know what else to say.

“What do you know about Emily Mulally?” I ask my friend Tucker, sitting down next to him on the couch in Emily’s living room.  Tucker’s girlfriend, Gilda, is a big gossip.  She knows everything about everyone, and then she tells Tucker, so this is a good place to start.

“Emily Mulally?” Tucker shakes his head.  “Never heard of her.”

“Never heard of her? This is her party.”

Tucker blinks at me, then shakes his head.  “Gilda!” he yells across the room.  “What do you know about Emily Mulally?”

“Shhh!”  I put my hand over his mouth.  Jesus Christ.

Tucker breaks free and looks at me, understanding dawning on his face. “You like her.”

“No, I don’t.”  I feel uncomfortable, and I look around for something to drink.  I should have grabbed a glass of that Kool-Aid.

“Yes, you do.”  He gets up and starts humping the couch.  “You want to bang her, you want to bone her, you want to get all up in that!”

I stand up and start to walk away, but Tucker grabs my arm.  “Sorry, sorry.”  He shakes his head.  “I’m listening.”  He pats the sofa next to him.  “Sit here and tell Uncle Tucker all about it.”

I sit back down.  “All about what?”

“About Emma Mulally.”

“Emily.”

“Right.  Emily.”
“Nothing,” I say, shrugging.  “I just talked to her in the kitchen, and she seemed cool.”

“You talked to her in the kitchen?”  Tucker slaps his hand to his forehead.  “Please, tell me you’ve had more contact with her than just a chat in her kitchen.”

“No.”

“Well, then, you should probably try talking to her.”

“I did talk to her.”

“I mean, about something important.”

I look at him.  He’s right.   “Good idea,” I say, giving him a pat on the shoulder.  “Thanks, Uncle Tuck.”

But when I get back to the kitchen, Emily Mulally is gone.  The pitcher of Kool-Aid is still on the counter, so I pour myself a glass, hoping no one’s spiked it with the date rape drug while I was away.  Then I move through the crowd, searching, until I find her over in the corner by the sliding glass door.

She’s talking to a guy.  A guy!  Her boyfriend?  I’ve never seen him before, this interloper, this intruder, this complete and total jerk.  Jealousy flashes through me, and I watch as Emily leans into him, her hair falling over The Jerk’s shoulder.  She laughs.  I love her laugh.  It’s soft and sweet, and genuine, not one of those ridiculous laughs girls usually give when they’re trying to act like you’re the funniest thing in the world but they don’t really think you are.

I’m about to turn around and head back to where Tucker is, but then I decide I shouldn’t be intimidated by this tool.  I don’t know for sure that it’s her boyfriend, and if it is, whatever.  They’re not married.  That sounds fucked up, I know, but I’m not thinking straight, because all I can think about is that laugh.

So I make my way through the crowd and over to her, and she turns around, and sees me with the Kool-Aid in my hand, and I hold the cup up, like “Hey, see, I’m drinking it!” and she smiles.  She has a very cute smile.  Her bottom teeth are slightly crooked and it makes her look adorable.

“Oh, hello,” I say.  “Just thought I’d commend you on the wonderful Kool-Aid you made.”

“I didn’t make it,” she reminds me.  “You did.”

“Oh.”  I look at the cup in wonder, like I can’t imagine something so amazing could come from little old me.  “I did, didn’t I?”

She nods.  “Well, kudos to me!”  I take a big drink.  The guy standing next to her is glaring at me, so I clap him on the shoulder.  “Hello!” I say.  “How are you?”

“Fine,” he says.  I recognize him from my math class.  What’s his name?  Jason or Jordan or –

“This is Jasper,” Emily says.  That’s it.  Jasper.  Sounds like a dog’s name.  “And Jasper, this is…” She trails off as she looks at me, and I realize she and I haven’t even been properly introduced.  Until I spotted her in the kitchen, having problems with the Kool-Aid, I’d never talked to her before in my life.  The only reason I even knew her name was because I knew this was her party.  But even more surprising was the realization that I just assumed she would know my name.  How arrogant is that?

“I’m Ashton,” I say.  “And any friend of Emily’s is a friend of mine.”  I hold my hand out to Jasper, and he takes it.  Emily smiles, because of course I hardly know her, so we’re not exactly friends.  “So what’s the haps with this party?” I say.  “Like, when does it get good?” It’s supposed to be a joke, since we’re all standing over in the corner talking, but Emily’s face falls.  “Sorry,” I say,  “I didn’t mean that--”

“No,” she says, “It’s fine.”

Jasper glares at me even more.  What’s with this guy?  He’s like a silent crazy protective…I don’t even know.  Boyfriend?  I decide it’s time to ditch this Jasper person.   “Emily,” I say,  “Can you come over here for a minute?  I need to ask you something in private.”  I turn to Jasper.  “You don’t mind, do you Jasper?”

“No,” he says, speaking for the first time and clearly lying.  “Go ahead.”

But he doesn’t move, so I take Emily’s hand and lead her through the first door I see.  There’s a step, so I step down, bringing her with me.

“Um, we’re in my garage,” she says.  I look around.  Grease stains on the floor.  Cold.  Smells like paint.  Definitely a garage.

“That we are,” I say.

“So what did you need to talk to me about?”  She crosses her arms over her chest, challenging.  Right.  What did I need to talk to her about?   “Well,” I say, taking a step toward her.  “I wanted to see if you needed any more cooking lessons.”  I move closer.  She smells like strawberries and some kind of other fruity, girly thing that I can’t put my finger on.

“I don’t think making Kool-Aid constitutes as a cooking lesson,” she says.

“Then we’ll have to move on to something more complicated.”  I take another step toward her.  It’s dark, but I can feel her closeness and smell her skin and all I can think about is kissing her.  Which is crazy, because I hardly know her.  I can’t explain it.  But I need to kiss her.  I’m about to, but then I realize I can’t just go around kissing her in her garage.  Talk about douchey.  I’ve only known the girl for fifteen minutes.  “Do you want to get out of here?” I ask her.

“It’s my party.”

“Oh.”

My heart drops, and my face must fall because she quickly says, “But I do.”

“Do what?”

“Do want to get out of here.”

I grin.  “Where will we go?” I ask.

“You asked me to leave,” she says.  “So you figure it out.”

“A challenge,” I say,  “I like that.”

“Meet you in the front yard in fifteen minutes?”

“Yes,” I say.

And then she’s gone, disappearing back into the house through her garage door.

Emily

Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.  Was I just flirting?  I think I was flirting.  And I’m not sure, but I think I was pretty good at it, too.  Who’d have thought that I, Emily Mulally, could flirt like that?  And with Ashton Wagner, too!  He’s so….hot.  And how cool was it when I pretended I didn’t know his name?  Ha!

I’m flying through the crowd of my own party, over to Jasper, who’s standing in the corner talking to this guy from our sociology class.

“Jasper!” I scream.

“Emily!” he says.  He hands his drink to sociology guy and then whisks me into my dad’s old office, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it dramatically.  “What were you doing in the garage with Ashton Wagner?”  He’s not jealous.  Jasper likes boys only.  But he is crazy overprotective of me, and I already know what’s going to happen when I ask him to watch the party so I can leave with Ashton.

“He just wanted to talk,” I say carefully.

“About what?”

I think about it.  “I’m not exactly sure.”  I remember how it felt to be with him in the dark, how I could see the shadow of his profile and feel his closeness even though I couldn’t see him clearly.  He smelled sooo good, like woodchips and cologne and fabric softener.

Jasper narrows his eyes.  “You do know that he just broke up with Haven Richardson, don’t you?”

“Of course,” I say.  I roll my eyes, but I didn’t really know that.  I don’t keep up with the goings on of the popular crowd, although now that he says it, I do remember seeing them together a lot.  If I think hard enough, I can even conjure up an image of the two of them holding hands in the hall outside of my math class.

Haven Richardson.  She’s the kind of girl my mom wishes I was.  The kind with perfect hair and a perfect body and a perfect everything.  Blah.

“So,” Jasper says.  “Are they really broken up?”

Now I’m confused.  “You just said they were.”

“Yes, they’re broken up,” Jasper says.  “But are they broken up broken up?”

“I have no idea what you’re even talking about.”  I look at my watch.  I have to meet Ashton in ten minutes.

“It happens all the time,” Jasper says wisely, although how he knows the workings of the popular crowd’s relationships I have no idea.  Jasper hasn’t even had a boyfriend in like, three years, preferring to meet college guys on Craig’s List and then disappear for what he calls “lost weekends” where he doesn’t answer texts of phone calls and then comes back hungover, reeking of alcohol, and refusing to answer questions about where he’s been.

“What happens all the time?”

“People break up, but they’re not really broken up.”  He bites his lip, thinking about it, and then his eyes light up.  “Let’s go on his facebook page!”

“Why the hell would we do that?”

“Because we can see what he’s been writing about her!”

I don’t really want to know, because my head is spinning with the possibilities.  Plus?  I really kind of want to meet up with him.  I’m not sure if it was all in my head or not, but for a second, when we were out in that garage, I was almost sure Ashton was going to kiss me.  And I really, really, really wanted to kiss him.  More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.  I get shivers just thinking about it.

“I don’t want to,” I say.

But Jasper’s already over at the computer.  “Wow, look at this,” he says,  “Someone was in here writing an essay on The Great Gatsby.  At your party.”  Great.  My mom would love that.  ‘Honey, how was the party?  Did people get drunk?’  ‘Not really, mom, but someone did write a paper for school in dad’s old office.’   Jasper closes out the word doc, and pulls up the internet.

“Shit,” he says,  “His facebook is private.”

“Well, that settles that.”  Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg, and your new facebook privacy settings.

But Jasper won’t be foiled.  “No, it doesn’t,” he insists.  “We’ll just look at hers.”  He pulls up Haven’s page.  I know we’re in trouble as soon as I see her status, which says, ‘Haven Richardson is brokenhearted and raging.’

“Raging?” I whisper fearfully.  “What does that mean?”

“I guess that she’s pissed,” Jasper says.  He clicks over to her pictures.  About eighty percent of them are of her and Ashton.  Her and Ashton at school.  Her and Ashton on a ski trip.  Her and Ashton near the pool with a bunch of friends, holding up drinks.  In a lot of them, Haven is wearing a skimpy bikini or a tight shirt, her ample chest practically falling out of her top.  Her skin is perfect, her teeth are perfect, her eyes are perfect, even her nails and eyebrows are perfect.

I run my tongue over my bottom teeth, feeling the slight crookedness.  Then I swallow, a weird feeling rising up in my stomach.

“Well, obviously she still likes him,” Jasper says.  He turns around and sees the weird look on my face.  “But he might not like her still.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say.  I look at my watch.  I’m supposed to be meeting him now.   But seeing Haven’s facebook is making me hesitate.  What if Ashton’s just looking for a rebound?  I mean, it makes sense. We’ve never even talked before tonight.  I think about it, and then say finally, “I guess I probably shouldn’t go.”

“Definitely not,” Jasper says.  He doesn’t even try to pretend to talk me out of it, and spends the next ten minutes clicking all around facebook, showing me pictures of guys he’s either met, wants to meet, or wouldn’t mind meeting.  But I’m not really paying attention.  Because all I can think about is Ashton.  And so, finally, when I can’t take it any longer, I stand up.

Jasper looks at me, cutting off some story about a guy with the best stomach he’s ever seen.  He sighs.  “You’re going to meet him, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I say.  “Watch the party.”

I walk toward the door, and then turn back around.  “And make sure you delete the history on that computer when you’re done.  My mom will flip if she thinks I’ve been internet surfing at my own party.”

Ashton

She’s not here.  It’s the time we’re supposed to meet, and she’s not here.  Could she be standing me up?  I’ve never been stood up before.  Have I stood anyone up before?  I’m a big believer in karma, so if I have, it serves me right.  But I can’t think of anyone I’ve stood up.

I wait a couple more minutes, then decide to just go back into the party and find her.  Being out here, waiting for her, is almost too much.  I need to see her, to be near her, to talk to her. It’s like a weird anticipation thing.

I head back into her house, but after a thorough search, I don’t see her anywhere.

“Hey!” Tucker yells.  “Where the hell have you been?”  He’s on his way to getting completely fucked up.

“I’m right here,” I say.

“Sorry about your girl.”  Tucker puts a fake pout on his face, puffing out his lower lip.  “Boo hoo,” he says.

“What are you talking about?”  I’m looking over his head, still scanning the crowd for Emily.

“Emily,” Tucker says,  “She went in there.”  He points to a closed door.  “Her bedroom.  With Jasper.”  He pats me on the back.  “Sorry, buddy.  Better luck next time.”

Shit. Why the fuck didn’t I kiss her when I had the chance?  If I had, maybe she’d be with me right now, instead of in there with that douchebag. The thought of her lips on someone else’s is making me extremely jealous, and I’m about to go over to her bedroom door and if not barge right in, at least knock , but before I can, there’s a voice behind me.

“Ashton!”

I turn around.  Haven Richardson is standing there, a smile on her face, but anger in her eyes.  She wraps her arms around me.  “Helllooo,” she says, all flirty.  She’s wearing this ridiculously tight skirt, and I’m positive that if she turned around, you could almost see her thong.  Soft, silky blonde hair, perfectly styled, and a pair of hooker shoes complete the look.

“Hi, Haven,” I say.  Haven is my ex-girlfriend.  We were together for nine months before I caught her cheating on me with Evan Simmons, this guy who graduated a couple of years ago.  And now, even though Haven is the one who cheated on me, she can’t let it go.  The truth is, we were done even before it happened.

“Ashton,” she says.  “I need to talk to you.”  Her eyes are on me, and so are a lot of people’s, because everyone thinks we’re like Scarlett and Ryan or something,  and they’re obsessed with what’s going on with us.  I look one more time at the closed door to Emily’s bedroom.  But if I don’t talk to Haven, she might cause a scene.  Haven loves to cause a scene.

So I sigh and follow her outside to the backyard, all the way to the back, in case she starts yelling at me.  That’s the other thing about Haven, and one of the other reasons we broke up.  She’s always the victim.

“What is it?” I ask once we’re standing underneath a willow tree.  I look toward the house nervously, wondering if anyone’s watching.

“Did you know I started drinking this afternoon?  I don’t even have to drink tonight, because I’m already hungover.”  She grins and then leans into me.

“Haven,” I say, catching her, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know,” she says.  And when she looks at me, her face is streaked with tears.  “I just miss you so much.”

“I miss you, too,” I say.  It’s true, to an extent.  Haven is fun when she wants to be, and kind when she wants to be, and generous when she wants to be.  But when she wants to be isn’t all that often, and when she’s not being those things, she’s pretty self-centered.  I liked being with her because it was exciting, and there were always fun things to do, and because, I’m sorry to say, she’s hot.  But that got old quickly.  The thing is, I do still care about her.  But any romantic feelings that used to be there are completely gone.  Emily’s face flashes through my mind again, and I think about her, in there, and me, out here, maybe missing my chance.

“Then why aren’t we together?” Haven asks.

“Hav,” I say gently,  “We’ve talked about this.”

“Because I cheated on you?” she says, sounding incredulous.  “Shit happens, Ashton.  Grow up. It was just a one time thing.”

It’s a lie, and we both know it.  “Haven,” I say, sighing.  “Let me take you home.”

“No!” She screams and tries to push me away, and as she does, I can smell the alcohol on her.

“Yes,” I say,  “You can’t drive.”

“I’m fine.”  She’s walking away from me now, her shoes sliding all around in the grass.  She stumbles and then rights herself.

“Haven,” I say, “Let me take you home.”

I run and catch up with her, and finally, she lets me.

Emily

He’s not here.  I know I’m late, by like ten minutes, but honestly, who the hell doesn’t wait ten minutes for someone?  It’s, like, a rule that people are never on time.  Even for my parties, you tell people to come at eight, and no one even shows up until nine.  Not that I invite people to my parties anymore.  They just kind of know that it’s happening.

But still.  Even my mom’s stupid book club doesn’t show up on time!  And they’re old.  Besides, I’m the girl!  I’m supposed to be fashionably late, aren’t I?  Boys should know that.   Maybe he went inside to look for me.  That could happen, couldn’t it?  Well, I’m waiting right here, thank you very much.  That’s what they always say to do when you’re lost – to stay in one place so that the other person can find you.  And obviously I’m not lost, but I am trying to be found.

I look back over my shoulder through the front window, where I can see the party starting to heat up.  Jasper’s looking out, and I give him a wave.  He waves back, and gives me a rueful look, as if to say, “Where is he, hmmm?”

I turn my back and sit down on my front steps, stretching my legs out in front of me.  I’m wearing a white skirt that earlier I thought showed off my tan.  But now I’m not so sure.  My legs look kind of stumpy.  I think about Haven, about how she looked in those pics of her online, how she looked in her bikini.

I wonder what it would feel like to look like that.  To be so perfect.  Girls like that are always so weird to me.  Sometimes I can’t stop staring at them, just wondering, what is it like to know you could have any guy you want?  To know you can just go up to anyone and not be worried about getting rejected?  To be able to wear anything you want and not worry that it makes you look too fat or too skinny or too wide or too five million other things?  Although I guess Haven can’t get any guy she wants, since it seems like she still wants Ashton.

I check my cell.  Ten minutes late has turned into fifteen minutes late.  I’m staring to wonder if maybe I should go back into the party.  I know it’s not good to be chasing him around, but if I want him, if I want to see him, then shouldn’t I go just after it?

But before I can decide, I hear the sound of shuffling feet.  Someone’s drunk.  This isn’t anything noteworthy – more people have been drunk at my house than I care to count, and a good percentage of them have thrown up.  As a result, I know the drunk shuffle when I hear it.

I hear a girl’s voice, saying she’s fine, and then a boy’s voice, saying he doesn’t care, that he’s taking her home.  And my heart sinks completely into my stomach, because even though I’ve hardly heard it, the voice is already imprinted on my memory.

And when he comes around from the backyard, following Haven Richardson, I have to swallow the wave of disappointment that flows through me.  “You’re not fine,” he says again.  “Hav, please.”  He takes her arm, and she leans into him, and starts crying, and he wraps his arms around her.  “Let me take you home,” he says softly.

She pulls away, and nods, and he puts his hand on her back as he steers her toward his car.  He opens the door for her, and she gets in, and then he heads to the driver’s side, and drives away.  They don’t see me, and I feel almost sick.

Stop, I tell myself.  It’s ridiculous to be upset over some guy I don’t even know.  Getting my heart all set on something before it’s even a reality can only lead to a big fall.  I’m just glad I found out now, before I was in too deep.

I think about the way it felt when he was close to me in the garage.  I touch my lips, wondering what would have happened if we’d kissed. But I force the thoughts out of my head, and I force myself not to cry.  A few hours ago, I didn’t even know Ashton Wagner.  So there’s no reason to think I shouldn’t be able to forget about him.

Ashton

Haven’s going on and on about who the fuck knows what, and all I can think about is Emily Mulally.  She’s going to think I stood her up.  After I thought she stood me up, now she’s going to think I stood her up.  Unless she was standing me up in the first place.  This is turning out to be a very confusing night.

“Are you listening?” Haven yells.  She went from being sweet and crying to a raging bitch in about thirty seconds, which is pretty much par for the course with Haven.

“Not really,” I admit.

“Typical.”  She doesn’t say anything the rest of the way to her house.

When we pull in the driveway, I turn to her.  “Are you going to be okay?”

“No.”  She’s looking out the window, not saying anything.

“Look, Hav….I want to be friends, I do.”  It’s a half-truth.  I’d like to be friendly with her.  But as far as being friends… we were never friends in the first place.  I think that was our main problem as far as being together.  We never had the same sense of humor, we never meshed, we could never just… talk.  Our conversations revolved around where we were going, or what new rumor had been started about us, or what kind of trip we wanted to take.  There was no substance.

She sighs.  “I know I’ll get over it.  I think it’s just more wounded pride than anything.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Well, listen.  Call me if you need anything, okay?”

She nods, then gets out of the car.  And I head back to the party to find Emily Mulally.

The door that Tucker claimed Emily disappeared behind with Jasper is open when I get back to her house, and I look in.  Big desk.  Filing cabinets.  Leather chairs.  It’s an office.  Not her bedroom like Tucker claimed.  At first I’m relieved, but then I realize that might be worse.  Jasper probably took her in there and seduced her on the couch.

The thought makes me start to feel like maybe this whole thing is pointless, and then I wonder if maybe she’s already left the party.  But then I realize that she couldn’t have left the party, because it’s her stupid party.

So I start looking for her.  And I finally I find her in the kitchen, standing in front of the refrigerator, the door open.  She’s looking inside like she’s not sure exactly what she’s looking for.  It’s somehow poetic, us meeting again in the kitchen, back where it all began.

“Hello,” I say, leaning over her.  “Do you need some help cooking?”  I survey the contents of the fridge.  “I could whip up a Croque Monsieur.”

She looks at me blankly, then slams the fridge.  “I don’t even know what that is.”

“Yeah, me neither.”  I shrug.  “I think it has something to do with ham.  I saw it on Barefoot Contessa.”  She’s still giving me that same blank look.  “You know, the cooking show?”

“Yeah, I know what it is,” she says.  “I just didn’t know that guys watched it.”

“They don’t,” I say.  “Well, I don’t anyway.  But my mom’s a big fan.”  God, she’s beautiful.  Haven’s beautiful, but Emily… Emily is beautiful in a totally understated way.  She doesn’t even know just how gorgeous she is.  I need to kiss her.  None of this waiting shit.  I step closer to her, and whisper into her ear,  “Can we get out of here now?”  Fuck Jasper.  I don’t care about that dude.  I’ll make her forget him.

“I don’t know,” she says, pulling away.  “Why don’t we ask Haven?”

“Haven?”  I’m confused.

“Don’t act confused,” she says.  “I saw you leaving with her.”

“I wasn’t leaving with her!” I say.  “She needed a ride home.”  I lean in close to her again.  “Haven has a drinking problem,” I whisper.  “Sometimes she needs rides home.”

“That’s not what it looked like to me.”

“What did it look like to you?”

She opens her mouth to say something, then shuts it again.  God, she has perfect lips.  “It doesn’t matter,” she says.

“It does to me.”

“Well, it doesn’t to me.”  She looks over my shoulder, surveying the party.  “Anyway, I hope you have a good night.”

“Hey,” I say,  “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she says, “I just don’t think this is a good idea.”

“You don’t think what’s a good idea?”

“This.  Conversing with you.”

“Oh.”  I think about it.  “Well, it’s probably not, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.”  It’s supposed to be a joke, but she doesn’t smile.  And then I get it.  She’s rejecting me.  Whoever this Jasper guy is, she feels some kind of loyalty to him.  Although she was quick to cast him aside when I asked her out to the garage. So I say,  “Does this have anything to do with Jasper?”

“Jasper?”  She looks like she’s about to say something else, but then she changes her mind.  And for a second, I see indecision flash across her face, I can almost see her thinking that maybe she wants to stay with me.  But instead, she walks away, leaving me standing in front of the refrigerator by myself.

Emily

If Ashton Wagner thinks he can just waltz back into my house, to my party, and try to.. .to … to seduce me with his sexy smile and his perfect hair and his ice blue eyes, he has another thing coming.  I mean, like I’m going to want to hang out with him now?  After he just ditched me for Haven Richardson?  Maybe he thinks I’m, like, desperate or something.

I might not be Haven Richardson, but nobody puts Baby in the corner.  That’s a line from the movie Dirty Dancing.  I love that movie.  It’s about this totally plain girl named Baby who goes away with her family on this summer vacation and meets a super sexy dance instructor who, like, takes her virginity and makes her fall in love.  They cause all these scandals and to make a long story short, the sexy dance instructor Johnny loses his job because he’s been having sex with Baby.  But then at the end he shows up and says to Baby’s overprotective father, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner!” and then they go up onstage and dance the final dance of the summer and Baby comes into her own and ends up with Johnny.

It really is an amazing movie.  Anyway.  The point is, that’s a movie.  Not real life.  And Ashton Wagner cannot just come walking back in, expecting that I’m going to just listen to what he has to say.  Especially since he had the lamest excuse.  Haven was drunk?  Yeah, right.  She couldn’t call a cab?  Or walk home?  Although now that I think about I, if it really is true, it was pretty nice of him to drive her home.  But that’s what he wants me to think.  He probably thinks I’m gullible.

Not to mention trying to turn the whole thing around on me, to ask me if this whole thing had to do with Jasper!  Ha!  The only reason I didn’t tell him that Jasper was gay is because – well, honestly, why should I?  He left with Haven, so why shouldn’t I --
Ohmigod.  How disgusting.  What the hell is—

Fuuuccck.  I’ve stepped in puke.

“Sorry,” a girl says.  She sways away and out of the bushes, where she’s been vomiting.  How.  Freaking.  Disgusting.

This is the problem with having parties at your house.  I go through all this trouble and then I’m the one getting puked on.  I blow out a big deep breath, and then walk around the side of the house to get the hose.  Vomit Girl has decided to leave her dinner in my mom’s roses, which is, like, the one thing my mom cares about.  Seriously, she does these ridiculous rose tours and everything, where she opens up our yard, and people, like, come to look at the roses.

So I’m going to have to spray away the puke and hope she doesn’t notice.  I wonder if roses die if they get puked on?  I think they’re a pretty delicate flower.  That’s why those rose tours are such a big deal.

God, this hose is heavy.

“Hello!” a voice says.  Ashton Wagner.

“Go away,” I say.  “I’m very busy.”

“You have puke on your shoe,” he says conversationally.

“I know.”

“And that hose is way too heavy for you.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s ---“ I break off, deciding I am too mature to sink to his level.  I will not be brought down by Ashton Wagner.  I will rise above all this.  Once I get the hose over to the flowerbed, I can’t get the nozzle out of the sprinkler head, so I decide to just set the sprinkler down in the roses.

I do, and then turn the knob on the sprinkler.  The water comes shooting straight up and into my face.  I scream as the icy cold spray hits my face.

“Whoa,” Ashton yells, and then he comes over to try and help me turn it off.

“Turn it to the right!” I scream.

“I am!” he says.  I’m backed out of the spray now, but I’m soaked.  My white skirt is completely drenched, and my blue t-shirt sticks to my skin.

“Turn it harder!”  He does.   The spray finally turns off, but when it does, he’s completely wet.  I’m completely wet.  He looks down at the roses.  “At least the puke’s gone,” he says.

I look at him.  He looks at me.  And then we burst out laughing.   “I’m sorry,” I say.  “You just look really funny.”

“Me?  You look really funny.”  He moves closer to me and then reaches out, pushing a drop of water off of my cheek with his fingertip.  My body responds to his touch, sending electric shocks all the way down to my legs.  “Are you cold?” he asks.

“Freezing,” I lie.  I should be freezing, I know I should, but his voice and his touch are making me feel like I might burst into flames.

“You should change,” he says.  “You’re soaked.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine,” he says.  But his lips are looking a little shivery.  It’s all I can do not to reach out and put my lips on his to warm him up.  But my lips feel like two fires, and if I kissed him now, he’d feel it and wonder why I was so warm.  So instead, I take a deep breath and say,  “Come on.  I’ll get you some clothes.”

Ashton

She takes me to her bedroom.  Her real bedroom, not the office that Tucker said was her bedroom.  If anyone at the party notices, they don’t say anything.   Her room is clean and neat, and suddenly, I feel kind of weird.  It’s always strange being in a girl’s room.  And Emily’s room is nothing like Haven’s.  Haven’s room was kind of like Haven– all flash and no substance.  It was plastered with pictures of her and her friends, and had expensive white furniture that her mom bought her for her sixteenth birthday.

Emily’s room is different.  She has a vanity and a poster of Dirty Dancing on the wall.  Her bookshelves are lined with books, and I scan the titles.

“You like The Long Walk?” I say, as I take it off the shelf.  It’s a Stephen King book, but one of his first ones, written under a pseudonym before he got famous.  It’s amazing, but not many people have read it.  And she has the first edition, the one that contains all four of King’s early novellas.

“It’s my favorite,” she says.

She’s over by her dresser, rummaging around for clothes, and I see a flash of something pink and lacy in one of her drawers, so I look away quickly.  “Did you know he wrote it in like two weeks?”  I ask.

“Yeah,” I say,  “He was – “

“In college,” she finishes.

“Yeah,” I say, grinning.  I look at the Dirty Dancing poster.  “Nobody puts Baby in a corner, huh?”

She hesitates.  “So,” she says finally.  She’s standing in front of the door to what I assume is her bathroom, holding her clothes in her hands.  “I can get you a t-shirt or something to wear.”

“That would be great,” I say.  “I can, uh, give it back to you.”

“Okay.”  She leaves the room and returns a second later, holding a t-shirt and a sloppily folded pair of sweatpants.

“They’re my dad’s,” she says, “He, um, left them after he moved out.  Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

“Said what?”

“About my dad,” she says.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.”  I take the clothes.

“What’s going on with you and Haven?” she asks.  She’s moving back and forth, hopping from foot to foot on her carpet, the water from her t-shirt making little spots on the carpet. I want to rush over, grab her in my arms, and keep her warm.

“Nothing,” I say, looking right into her eyes.  “Haven and I are over.”

She cocks her head and looks at me, like she’s not sure she really believes it.  “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“You can call her and ask her,” I say, pulling my phone out of my pocket.  “Or you can ask my best friend, Tucker.  He’s out in your party somewhere.  In fact, there might be a good chance that he’s puking into your rosebushes right now.”

“I believe you.”  She looks at me, questioning.  “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know,” I admit.  “But now I have a question for you.  What’s going on with you and Jasper?”

She grins.  “Jasper,” she says, “Is gay.”

I’m going to kill Tucker.

Emily

So this is definitely the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.  For real.  I mean, I’m in my shower, while Ashton Wagner is in my room, changing into my dad’s clothes.  Ashton Wagner is getting naked in my room!  Well, not completely naked.  He’ll probably leave his underwear on.  Won’t he?  He definitely won’t want to be without his underwear.  At least, I wouldn’t think he would.

The thought of him sliding his boxers down makes me feel all light-headed, and I rest my head against the tile of the shower.  He’s out there.  In my room.  Right now.  At least shirtless.  I’ll bet he has a nice chest.  I’ll bet it’s smooth and hard and just…. Oh, God.  I bite my lip.

I wonder how long I can get away with being in here.  How am I going to go out there?  What’s going to happen?  What is happening with us?  How can I feel this strongly about someone I just met?

I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my head, then step out of the shower.  I dry off, then step into the pajama pants and spaghetti strap tank that are hanging over the towel rack.

I think about putting on some make up, but then I think fuck it, makeup isn’t going to make me look like Haven, and besides, if he doesn’t like me the way I am, it’s better to find out now, before I get crushed.

I open the door to the bedroom, half-expecting to catch him changing.  But he’s not.  He’s just sitting at my desk, thumbing through the copy of The Long Walk, wearing the t-shirt and sweatpants I gave him.

“Hey,” he says when he sees me.  He looks me up and down, and I feel a deep blush starting at my face and burning all the way down my body.  I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly self-conscious.

But he walks over to me, slowly, and takes my hands in his, pulling them down to my sides.  Our fingers intertwine.  “You’re beautiful,” he whispers.

I look up and our eyes meet.  It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, this thing between us, pulsing and getting stronger.  I think about protesting, but before I can, his lips are moving closer.

At the last second, I turn my head away.  “I’m not going to sleep with you,” I say.

“Who said anything about sleeping?”  He’s teasing.

“I’m not going to have sex with you.”

“I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“You don’t?”

“Well, not yet.  You’re too….”

“I’m too what?”  Suddenly, I’m mad, and I take my hands away from his.

“No, that’s not… that’s not what I meant.”  He seems flustered, and I have a weird, startling revelation.  I’m making Ashton Wagner flustered.  “You just… you’re so… you’re just.. you’re like a dessert that needs to be savored.  You can’t just go having the whole thing in one sitting.”

I grin, the side of my mouth twisting up.  “Did you just compare me to a crème brulee or something?”

“Not crème brulee,” he says.  He pretends to think about it.  “You’re not as pretentious as crème brulee.  You’re more like an amazingly perfect…strawberry shortcake.  Sweet and refreshing and perfect.”

I start to say something else, but before I can, his mouth is on mine.  His lips are soft and strong, and he is such a GOOD KISSER.  I feel like I could melt into him, and I do, his hands encircling my waist and pulling me close to him.  And I just let go, falling, falling, falling….

We spend the night kissing, talking, and cuddling on my bed.  When the sun finally starts to rise, and slats of light peek through the blinds in my room, we get up.  He helps me clean up the damage from the party.  And then we go out for breakfast.  And even though it’s only ten am, I order strawberry shortcake.

Don’t miss TELLING SECRETS (At the Party #1), and GETTING CLOSE (At the Party #3) available now….