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Blue Blood

PULSE 4

Book 4

kailin gow

Blue Blood (PULSE #4)

Published by THE EDGE

THE EDGE is an imprint of Sparklesoup LLC

Copyright © 2011 Kailin Gow

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Do NOT post on websites or share this book without permission from copyright holder, as it is a copyright violation. We take piracy seriously. Fines of copyright violation is the penalty of over $250,000.

All characters and storyline originated and is an invention from Kailin Gow. Any resemblance to people alive or dead is purely coincidence.

For information, please contact:

THE EDGE at Sparklesoup

P.O. Box 60834

Irvine, CA 92602

www.theEDGEbooks.com

First Edition.

Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN-10: 1597489441

ISBN-13: 978-1597489447

DEDICATION

This book series is dedicated to all the nameless volunteer blood donors, my doctor, and nurses at Las Colinas Medical Center in Texas who helped me pull throgh when I had suffered extreme blood loss, blacked out, and nearly hit my head on the floor. Your team gave me bags of blood for transfusion, which helped restore me to a level of safety.

My body craved the blood to keep alive, yet the thought of having to receive the blood from others because my own body couldn't generate it fast enough, made me empathize with vampires like Jaegar and Stuart.

When faced with death by blood loss, you realize how precious that blood in your veins and that beat in your heart are. Thank you blood donors around the world for providing this pulse for me and everyone who may at one point or another require your gift.

Sincerely,

Kailin

Prologue

The sun had gone here. It wasn’t like it was back home – the harsh yellow light of California, with its bracing blaze. Here, the sun was softer, if it existed at all, peeking out shyly from behind the fat, white clouds. The breeze was fresh and cool; Kalina could smell pine and fir, the sticky-needle smell of the East Coast. It was peaceful, she thought. Different. This was not Californian heat, Californian sun – the scorching sweaty heat she associated with the vineyards, with Jaegar, with the musky smell – as warm and sweet and dark as chocolate – of Vampire Wine. No, this place was cool, quiet, safe.

“And if you come with me,” the tour guide was saying, “you’ll be able to see Connecticut Hall, the oldest building on campus. Built between 1750 and 1753…”

1750 and 1753. Once, those numbers would have seemed so arbitrary, historical numbers picked out of a hat, meaningless labels from a time long ago. But now Kalina found herself wondering against herself – where was Stuart in 1753? How about Jaegar? Octavius? Were they here in America, to see it being built? Or were they in Europe, in foreign lands, in fetid deserts or shivering tundras…

Concentrate, Kalina, she whispered to herself, biting her lip. Touring Yale, leaving California behind, was supposed to help her forget. It was supposed to clear her head – the cool New England weather taking the place of the heat and sweat and madness of Rutherford, of the vineyard. But as the tour guide kept talking, pointing out each new building, each prestigious statue, all she could think was does Jaegar know this building? Did Stuart meet this man? Was Octavius here when this was built?

The other students on the tour were giggling and whispering with each other; a few dedicated ones were taking down notes, scribbling every detail of every date as if it were to be the subject of their first test. For them, Yale was the culmination of a life’s dream and a life’s work; twelve years of school, SAT scores, perfect grades, and hastily attained accolades. And now they had been accepted, and Kalina could see the fulfillment, the joy, on all of their faces, the feeling that entering Yale’s campus was, for them, like entering the next stage of their lives -- fresh with possibility, with opportunity, with adventure.

A year ago, Kalina thought, she had felt like that too. Her quest to get into a good college, to be the best, had been the most important thing in the world to her. She had spent hours in the library to inch up her grades by a tenth of a point; she had spent hours in the gym toning her figure for cheerleading with the hopes of obtaining an athletic scholarship. Had somebody told her that in a year’s time she’d be accepted into Yale, and unable to feel anything, she would have laughed in their face.

But here she was, staring enviously at the other students, angry at them – against herself – because they could be so happy, so excited. They were on the verge of the greatest adventure in their lives.

Kalina had already lived through hers. She’d discovered her Life’s Blood, that strange quality that had made her irresistible to vampires, and yet had drawn her in equal measure towards their world, their passions and desires. She’d fallen in love – with a dream, with a memory, with four vampires whose blood-bond with each other had called her to each of them in turn – and known fear, known death.

“Did you hear that?” Justin whispered. “You can take up Tibetan Pali here! Wouldn’t that be great! Mom always wanted you to be familiar with your culture…”

But she could only manage a nod before turning away.

She would never be free, she knew; she would never be truly safe. But the only thing she could do was try to move on.

“Where’s the dining hall?” one student asked with a tremulous grin.

The tour guide smiled back. “Right this way,” she said – “if you’ll just come with me.”

The dark, neo-Gothic buildings jutted above them – spires and gargoyles casting shadows on the gravel path. Kalina could have smiled. This is where you’d expect to find vampires, she thought to herself, not in the bright, terracotta-roofed houses of Rutherford, California, with its sun, its shine, its sea.

The sun had begun to set, and the tour guide hastily ushered them through an archway.

“The a capella group does a lot of singing here,” she started. “It’s a Yale tradition. Sometimes…”

But her monologue was interrupted by a scream – a piercing sound that tore through the evening air like a lightning bolt. Kalina felt her heart stop. She knew that scream, that sound. She’d heard it before – too many times – in Rutherford, a scream of fear, confusion, and utter terror: what is that thing?

They had all started rushing to the source of the sound – the tour guide, the students, instinctively running towards one of the more secluded quads. There, lying upon the grass, was a young woman, her Yale sweatshirt stained with blood, two gaping holes in her neck…

Stuart. Kalina felt it before her conscious mind had processed the information.

No sooner had the thought struck her than she heard that same, familiar voice in her head – once so soft, so sweet and lilting, now filled with mocking hate.

Kalina. The voice laughed. I’ve come to claim you, my love.

She whipped her head around, looking frantically – past the girl, who was being attended to by a growing crowd of students, past the others on the tour, who were shifting uncomfortably in their sneakers, searching for something in the sky, in the air, in the shadows…

Nobody there.

It had been a month since Kalina had last seen him, and in that month the days had dragged on and the nights had seemed endless. She had gone into hiding for a while, but in the end she returned to Rutherford to face him, to face Mal – hoping that the same magic she had exerted on Jaegar, saving him from the curse of the Life’s Blood, would work on his brother too. She hoped that she would be able to save him. But he was gone – along with Mal – and there was nothing she could do but wait, wait for him to come back, to decide he was ready to claim her for his own…and fight him every step of the way.

Kalina had always known he would come back. But she didn’t think it would be here at Yale. She hoped that this would be her chance at starting over, at trying to have a normal life – buying time before Stuart returned.

See you soon, Kalina. His voice was right there with her, whispering into her ear, burning into her brain; she shuddered at the thought.

You’re not safe here, my love. You’re not safe anywhere.

And then she sensed that he had vanished; her muscles relaxed. He was gone, fled the area – for now. But he’d come back, she knew it. He’d find her when she least expected it, pin her down, sink his teeth into her, let go at last of all his propriety, his self-restraint, and do what he wanted.

Kalina felt uneasy, even sick…that Stuart could so easily invade her thoughts with his threats. He could work his way into her mind drawing upon the connection they’d shared before he was turned. He could invade her brain, her thoughts.

She wanted to curl up, to scrub her skin clean in the shower, hide under the covers of her room at the New Haven Inn, lock the door, sprinkle the sheets with holy water.

But that would be running, it would be hiding.

She reached into her bag, fingering the stake that she’d kept there, just in case, feeling its sharp edge prick against her fingers.

So, she’d need it after all.

Chapter 1

Justin came running up to Kalina, his face shiny with sweat. “What’s going on?” His voice was hoarse and raw.

“Stuart’s back.” The words seemed to come from a place far away, far from Kalina – her feelings, her thoughts. “He’s come for me.”

“What?” Justin shuddered. “After all this…”

“I’ll handle it,” Kalina said quickly. “Don’t worry. I’ve stopped one turned vampire; I can stop another.”

“But Kal…”

Before Justin could finish, a loud ping interrupted their conversation. It was coming from Justin’s pager.

“The hospital wants you,” said Kalina. “You don’t want to let them down on your first week.” Justin had arranged for a transfer for a few weeks at medical school in New Haven while Kalina was going through her Yale visit and apartment-hunting. If everything worked out, he would transfer permanently to New Haven when Kalina started school in the fall. His version of the story was that New Haven had a better hematology program, but Kalina was sure that professional development had very little to do with it.

“I can’t leave you!” Justin sighed. “What kind of brother would I be if I did that?”

“A fired brother,” said Kalina. She knew Justin just wanted to protect her, but his presence here was cloying, even suffocating. She needed time and space to think, to process what was happening to her. And if there were any dangers lurking, it was much more likely that she’d need to save Justin rather than the other way around. He had warily accepted the presence of vampires, but even now her brother was shaky with a stake. “Listen, Justin, I want you to take it, okay? I want you to go. I’ll meet you after; I promise. Just text me when you’re done. I’ll go back to the New Haven Inn and take it from there. I promise – no vampires. I’ll be back before the sun goes completely if I leave now.”

Justin scrunched up his face, trying to decide what to do next. “Fine,” he said at last, letting out a deep sigh. “But if anything happens to you…”

“It won’t be your fault,” said Kalina.t>

When Justin had finally gone, kissing and hugging her and reminding her at least ten times to text him when she had arrived safely at the hotel, Kalina breathed a sigh of relief. It was easier without him, to rest calmly, alone with her thoughts. Alone, she could think back to the events of the past few months – the transformation of Jaegar, what had happened to Aaron, Stuart’s turning – without having to hide her pain and grief, without having to stay strong for Justin’s sake.

Kalina felt tears sting at the corners of her eyes. It was Stuart who had taught her how to defend herself against vampires, using whatever advantage her Life’s Blood had given her. Now she would have to use everything, every defense, every offense against Stuart himself, her tutor, her love. Probably just the New England wind, she told herself. She walked through the campus – already slowly returning to normal, the injured girl already wheeled away in an ambulance, the excuses seeping through campus like spilled wine (it was alcohol poisoning; she had a bad trip on acid and attacked herself; her boyfriend had a bad trip on acid and attacked her). Boys and girls her own age were playing Frisbee on the quad, warm inside their college hoodies. Through the windows of the library she could see other students, students just like her, hunched over their books, making notes on neatly lined paper, chewing the ends of their pens and pencils just like she did, getting ink on their lips.

This wasn’t for her, Kalina thought; she had been stupid to pretend otherwise. Even if she managed to somehow live through matriculation, Kalina’s life would never be like theirs. She’d never get to sit through a history class on the Renaissance, not without thinking of Octavius and their night together in Paris, and of their adventures on the moonlit streets of Rome. She’d never listen to a debate on whether the supernatural existed – a raucous argument in a science class, perhaps– without feeling that somehow she knew the answer, she knew the strangeness of what was out there.

She would never be like them again.

By the time Kalina reached the New Haven Inn, the sky had gone completely dark. She fingered her crucifix as she picked up her keys from the front desk, eliciting a curious look from the concierge, and entered the room. She felt the same familiar chill that came now anytime she entered a new place – the same fear – but a quick check of all the closets and corners assured her safety for now. She double-locked the door, closed the shutters, and curled up in the middle of the bed, willing herself to fall asleep, to give her mind over to the exhaustion that had been tapping at the back of her consciousness all day.

I will find you – Stuart’s voice still echoed in her head, and she couldn’t tell whether or not it was only a memory – I will take you, Kalina.

Stuart’s voice, so soft now, but so cruel and cold and calculating, carried her into a dreamless slumber.

When the telephone rang, Kalina’s eyes flew open, her exhaustion extinguished by adrenaline.

“Everything okay?” she muttered as she picked up the phone. Any call now, she knew, could be the news that she most dreaded hearing.

It was Justin. “I’m fine,” he said. “Are you?”

“Fine – for now.”

“Listen,” said Justin. “Can you get to the hospital? Like – tonight?”

“What’s going on?” Kalina sat straight up.

“Something’s happened…” Justin’s voice was hollow. “Get a cab; I’ll pay for it. Have the hotel order you a taxi – can you do that?”

Kalina eyed her stake. “Sure.”

“I’ll see you here soon.”

And without even saying goodbye, Justin had hung up; the phone silent and dead. Kalina sighed as she threw it in her purse. She didn’t even want to think about what emergency could be on the horizon now – another murder, another abduction, another thing to blame on her. Every death was on her now, Kalina thought – the longer she waited before facing Stuart; the more people would die in the meanwhile.

The half-hour it took to get to the hospital seemed like forever. Every step was fraught with terror – leaving her room, entering the taxi (was the driver safe? Did he look suspicious?), the long drive down secluded alleyways, Stuart’s voice whispering in her ear the whole while.

I’ll get you soon Kalina. When you least expect it. And you won’t be able to stop me.

When Kalina entered the hospital lobby and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she stopped short. Fear had turned her skin so pale she looked unearthly; her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot; her lips were drained of color. Was this what Stuart had done to her?

A wave of righteous anger rose up within her. Stuart was getting to her – she was letting him get to her. She couldn’t let him continue.

Before she could finish her thoughts, Justin came running into the lobby, still wearing his hospital scrubs. “So glad you’re here!” Justin enveloped her in a hug. “I’ve been waiting – worried…”

“We hit some traffic,” said Kalina.

“Listen,” Justin sighed. “You might want to sit down for this.”

“Another vampire victim?” Kalina sat, settling into a splendidly uncomfortable hospital chair. “I can take it.”

“Not a vampire victim,” said Justin. “Just – a normal junkie we picked up off the streets. At least – that’s what I thought at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“I overheard the others talking – Dr. Smoots, he’s the head hematologist—was saying it was like nothing he’d ever seen before. There was something strange about this girl, about her blood. It didn’t…fit.”

Kalina felt a familiar chill – she only knew of one other case that has caused such confusion with doctors. Hers. Her own blood – the Life’s Blood coursing through her – began to prickle and heat.

Justin sighed. “And then I saw her – unconscious, lying on the bed, but I could see her face.”

“Okay?” Kalina couldn’t breathe; the prickling in her blood was getting stronger, rising, rising to a boil. “I don’t get it.”

“She looked like you, Kalina!” Justin spit out the words in a single, breathless sentence. “Just like you. The resemblance – not just like a cousin, or even a sister. Like a twin. Older, maybe – and more beat-up; she looked like hell. But it was…it was like I was looking at you.”

Kalina shuddered, as what felt like a bolt of electricity pulsed through her, rushng through her body, burning up her veins. She had felt similar things in the past, when her blood had connected with Jaegar’s, with Octavius’. But she’d never felt anything like this. Her whole body was shaking, trembling from the jolt.

Life’s Blood. She knew it with the truth of blood-certainty.

“Where’s the girl now?” Kalina forced out the words.

“Gone,” Justin said. “Dr. Smoots called me into his office – I tried to get away, but by the time I made my way out of there she’d just…gone.”

She must have left not too long ago, because the air around Kalina, especially down the hallway, which the girl had most likely traveled down minutes before, made her blood burned, and she could feel blood rush through her face causing her to flush pink.

“Hey, you okay?” Justin asked.

“Yes,” Kalina said, steadying herself. She had never felt this sensation before, not with Octavius, Stuart, Jaegar, and even Aaron. “Even after she’s gone, I could still feel her presence here.”

Justin and Kalina looked at each other.

Life’s Blood was that strong, and now Kalina knew how vampires felt around her.

But who was this girl?

Chapter 2

Justin and Kalina returned to the hotel in silence. She knew what he was thinking, knew that Justin was wondering – just as she was – about the identity of the mysterious girl in the hospital bed. Justin’s story had unsettled her enough – the idea of a twin, a look-a-like, in the very same building – but what had truly thrown her was the sensation that had entered into her blood, the burning surety that she was in the presence of Life’s lood, not her own, but that of another, a stranger. Kalina knew that the Life’s Blood within her was strong; it recognized its own, just as it had recognized its desire and love in Octavius and the Greystone brothers.

At last, when they had locked themselves safely in the hotel room, drawn all the curtains and closed all the shutters, and checked every last corner for danger, they sat down across from each other on the bed, and tried to make sense of it all.

“You don’t think…” and Kalina said the question she knew they had both been thinking, “the orphanage, you know. Maybe they didn’t keep good records? Or maybe there wasn’t another one, at the orphanage…but my parents…my birth parents.”

“You think you have a sister?” Justin sighed. “You think…I have another sister?” He laughed lightly, the shock finally hitting him. “I mean, that’s crazy. But – then again – what isn’t crazy when it comes to you, Kalina?”

Kalina shot him a soft smile. “I know,” she said.

Justin inhaled. “Mom and Dad always told me that you were the only one,” he said, “that you had no known family anywhere in the world. They would have told me if there had been another sibling in the orphanage; the orphanage couldn’t have known…”

“But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t one,” said Kalina. What was the alternative, then? That there had been another daughter, one who had never made it to an orphanage? One that her biological parents had been able to keep? She had always imagined that her parents were dead; what if they had only abandoned her? She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

“Listen,” said Justin. “Kalina, I did something, okay? I did something that – well, let’s just say that if anyone finds out about this, I could lose my job. So, don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Of course,” said Kalina, as Justin withdrew a thin manila folder from his briefcase. He handed them to her, his face stony and expressionless.

“You stole her medical records?” Kalina almost shouted. This was so unlike quiet, rule-abiding Justin; she could have laughed.

“It was important,” said Justin, somewhat sheepishly. “If it involves you, and your life – well, I’m making it my business.”

Kalina couldn’t help but smile. Shy, over-protective or not, Justin was the best older brother any girl could ask for. As a thin crimson blush spread over Justin’s cheeks, Kalina considered him thoughtfully, running her eyes up and down the length of his face. He was handsome, even in his awkwardness, his stiff, shy way of being embarrassed about doing the right thing.

“You need a girlfriend,” Kalina decided.

“What?” Justin’s eyes grew large. “Where did that come from?”

“I need someone to distract you,” she said. “From worrying about me. To let you live your life – without risking your job. I can take care of myself. I’ve got the help of others – people like Jaegar…”

“Live my life?” Justin sighed. “This is my life, Kalina. I’m your brother, your guardian. Caring for you is my life.”

“That doesn’t mean…”

“Besides,” he continued, “I’ve got work.”

“There are lots of cute nurses and doctors in the hospital,” said Kalina. “I’m sure a smart guy like you could find something.”

Justin turned bright red, muttering something under his breath.

“What?”

“Who’s to say I haven’t?” said Justin, a little louder this time.

“What?” Kalina jumped up. “What? And you didn’t tell me!”

“I’ve been looking around,” said Justin. “Over the summer – you know – keeping things casual. Seeing a few young ladies, here and there.”

“A few?” Kalina raised an eyebrow. “Do they know about each other?”

“They know I’m keeping things casual – for now. I’ve got too many responsibilities to be in a reionship.”

“So, you’re willing to leave all these women in Rutherford to take care of me at Yale? I don’t know, Justin – not the best trade.” It was good to laugh with her brother again.

But Justin grew serious. “Listen, Kal,” said Justin, “I promised Mom and Dad I’d take care of you. Because you’re special. Everything about you – from the necklace they found on you when you were a baby to the weirdness in your blood charts. I don’t know what they knew…”

“They knew about vampires? You think they knew all that and didn’t tell me? Tell us?”

“I don’t know what they knew,” said Justin again. “I’ve been rereading Mom’s journal, since we came out to New Haven. And in one of the entries around the time they adopted you, Mom talks about you being the “key to end it.” I don’t know what it means, but I have to find out, to know as much as possible. You’re my sister, my only family. If anything happened to you,” he sighed, “I’d have no one.”

Kalina enveloped him in a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders. “Don’t worry,” said Kalina. “I can take care of myself. But you, you’re the one I’m worried about.” She let out a deep sigh. “You need to take care of yourself, too. This Life’s Blood; it gives me powers. But you….if they wanted to get to me, any of them, all they’d have to do is find you, take you – and I’d do anything to protect you, to save your life. You know that. They know that. So please, be careful. For your sake – and for mine.”

Justin smiled. “Look, I may not be a vampire like your boyfriends... ex-boyfriends…”

“Ex-boyfriends,” said Kalina, quickly. As far as she was concerned, she – like her brother – wanted to keep things casual. Her responsibilities were too great for her to be tied down, to vampires or humans, despite the fevered dreams that kept her turning at night.

“But I’m pretty handy with a stake, okay?” Justin grabbed one from the bedside table. “See, I’ve been practicing. And I’ve been working out at the gym.” He showed her a couple of moves that she had taught him.

Kalina laughed. He wasn’t bad, after all, she thought, watching him make his quick, mechanically-trained movements. He was a smart boy after all, she thought, like her parents – his biological parents – as bright as they were. But were they bright enough to have figured out the secret of Life’s Blood.

“Justin,” Kalina said softly.

“Yeah?”

“Can I see Mom’s journal? I mean, would you mind?”

Justin stirred. “Of course,” he said. “It’s as much yours as it is mine, now.” He went to his suitcase, taking out a thin leather-bound volume. “This covers the years right after your adoption,” he said. “There are other volumes in the suitcase.”

“Must be heavy, lugging all those suitcases around.” They’d been going from hotel to hotel over the past few weeks as Justin searched for a more permanent apartment in the area, within easy walking distance to the Yale campus.

“It’s a reminder,” said Justin, “of the bigger burden I carry.” He blushed again. “Always to take care of my little sister.”

Kalina smiled. “Thanks,” she said, squeezing his hand, before giving him an enormous hug, holding him tightly.

A knock sounded at the door.

They stiffened immediately, straightening up from the embrace. Justin tightened his grip on his stake; Kalina took another from her purse. She placed the journal under the tightly-wrapped covers of the bed and walked to the peep-hole.

“I’ll…” Justin began, rising.

“No!” Kalina made it clear that she would not be moved on this point.

She peered through the peep-hole and then gasped, before laughing with relief.

“Who is it?”

But before Justin could finish his words Kalina was fumbling with the lock, opening the door, allowing herself to fall into Jaegar’s arms, feeling his lips hot on her own, his arms cool against her flesh. She stepped back as he kissed her more and more vigorously, tightening his grip on her, allowing herself to respond, slowly, at first, and then with the full flower of her desire.

She almost didn’t hear as Justin muttered an excuse about the hotel bar and mealtimes, seizing the manila folder and stumbling out.

“Where’s Justin?” she murmured, about five minutes after he had gone. Five minutes in which she had been delirious with happiness, with safety, with the feeling of bliss that meant being in Jaegar’s arms.

“He went to have dinner!” Jaegar laughed, whispering into her ear and tickling her earlobes with his lips. “Didn’t you hear him?”

“No!” Kalina couldn’t help laughing too. Everything seemed so much better, so much safer and more certain, now that Jaegar was here.

“Hungry?” asked Kalina. “After all, you can eat food now…maybe we could get burgers?”

“Hungry, yes!” Jaegar said, nudging her neck, bringing his lips to her cheek, her forehead, her eyes and lips. “I’m starving…” He picked her up and pushed her down onto the bed. “For you.” He trailed his kisses up and down the length of her body, ending with her lips. She inhaled the scent of him: warm, delirious, intoxicating.

“Did I tell you,” murmured Jaegar, as his mouth found the hidden corners of her body, nudging up against her clothing, “just how delicious you are to me?” He laughed. “Even without my bloodlust, I still want you so much – just smelling you, getting close to you, gets me so…I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you.”

“Jaegar,” she kicked off her shoes, helped him unbutton his shirt. “What is it about you that…” But before she could finish, Jaegar had removed her blouse, and was working on loosening the hooks of her bra. “It’s only been a few days – but it seems like weeks.” She missed his touch, his caress, the lightness of his fingers; together they fell into each other’s arms, until at last they had both stripped to their underwear. She felt her fingers hot upon his back; she felt his arms so tight around her ribs. She could feel his urgency, his desire. She knew that he wanted to go further, wanted to give in at last to the desire that all but consumed them both.

She had nothing to fear, after all. Now that Jaegar had been turned human, her Life’s Blood could no longer corrupt him. And it was her love, wasn’t it, that had made him human? Surely that meant she was free at last, free to give herself up to him, to give in to what they both wanted so deeply.

She could see the love in his eyes, shining t with such intensity that they seemed to contain all the love in the world. “I swear,” Jaegar was whispering, “I love you so much, Kalina. You’re my woman…and I waited so long for this…I’ve waited for centuries to find you.”

Kalina closed her eyes and lay back upon the pillow, waiting for surrender, for the sweet consummation of her desires.

“Jaegar,” she allowed her eyelids to flutter open.

What she saw shocked her. She stopped, mid-sentence, and shot up straight, her hand clapped tightly over her mouth.

Jaegar had fangs.

Chapter 3

“No! No!” Kalina cried. “No, it can’t be.” She’d seen Jaegar turned human right in front of her, seen his fangs retract and his face fill with color, heard the beating of his heart and felt the softness of his breath upon her cheeks. She’d seen Jaegar become human; she’d watched it happen, her Life’s Blood restoring him to true health, although he had the speed of a vampire, a benefit of Life’s Blood. But at least he was human. And now here he was again, fangs intact.

Memories, images rushed through her of the short time they’ve been together just now. He hadn’t eaten; his skin was so cold – she hadn’t noticed a heartbeat. All things she had ignored in the heat of the moment, but which came back to her at once. So, Jaegar had been a vampire this whole time, as they had kissed, taken off each other’s clothes, come so close to…

She had hoped that it would be safe; she could be with him, as a human, doing what she could never risk doing with a vampire.

“It’s okay, Kalina,” Jaegar was comforting her, wrapping her in his arms – so cold, now! Why hadn’t she noticed the cold before? “So it didn’t work. I guess the reversas only temporary, or something.” He looked down. “It’s never happened before, that a Life’s Blood carrier has been able to do what you’ve done, fall in love with more than one…” He sighed and bit his lip. “Maybe it’s better this way,” he said. “I can protect you like this, protect Justin, in a way I never could if I were human. I had my chance to experience what it was like to be human for the first time in seven hundred years, even if it was only for a few days. And yes, it’s true, I loved it. But not because I was human, Kalina. But because I was with you, because I could be with you without being afraid of my bloodlust. I want to be with you, human or not. I only want you.”

Kalina felt plump tears rolling down her cheeks. She consciously knew that there was nothing she could have done, but she still felt nevertheless like she had failed him, like somehow her love wasn’t truly strong enough to save him. Perhaps Jaegar was right – her feelings for Stuart and Octavius complicated matters, and maybe that was the reason behind Jaegar’s transformation back into a vampire: the failure of her love. “But I do love you,” Kalina murmured, “I do!”

Jaegar pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. “I know, darling,” he whispered, “I know.” He sighed, giving a little laugh as he did so. “There’s the irony, I suppose. No matter how much we love each other, the universe may never allow us to, ah… be together.”

He curled up in the bed beside her, his cold skin against hers. She felt his body grow tight against her and listened for a heartbeat, feeling only emptiness against his chest. Her desire had cooled now, as the moment had passed, but in its place she felt a soft, loving warmth; she wanted nothing more than to let him hold her in his arms, feel his smooth caress on her hair.

She turned over, looking straight into Jaegar’s eyes. She could see the tears standing at the corners of his gaze, blood-streaked tears that were slowly beginning to roll down his cheeks. She wanted to kiss them away, kiss his eyelids, his forehead, his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Jaegar,” she whispered. “I want to forget everyone else…”

“Octavius,” said Jaegar, darkly.

“Octavius, yes,” said Kalina, “and Stuart. I know Octavius gave me up – that it was impossible – he wanted me to forget him and I have, in part. But Stuart…I keep thinking it’s my fault that he’s been turned.”

“Mal turned me before he turned Stuart,” said Jaegar. “And you were able to get me back from the brink.” She could feel him swallow his jealousy. “Maybe you could do the same for him.”

“If I offer him my blood,” Kalina whispered, “wilingly, with love – instead of him forcing it from me. Maybe it would save him, somehow…”

“Or maybe he’d just kill you!” Jaegar cut in. “Look, I know what he’s feeling, what he must be going through right now. I’ve been there. The madness. I’m surprised he’s lasted this long, that he hasn’t given into his desire yet, tracked you down already.”

“He’s here,” said Kalina. “I heard him, telepathically. He attacked a student on the Yale campus today. I tried to find him, but he was gone. He claimed me – in his words – whispered in my ear that I was his. He’s trying to torment me, to scare me, like a cat playing with a mouse. Still so polite, you know? Still sounds like the same old Stuart.”

“Only…bad.”

“Still so in control.” Kalina sighed, letting Jaegar hold her even closer.

“That’s what is scary,” said Jaegar. “That control is just a dam waiting to burst.” He lifted her chin lightly, looking deep into her eyes. “Kalina, I’ve already lost the only other people I love. I’ve already lost Aaron. I can’t lose you too. And if I lose you to Stuart – then I know I’ll lose you both. Everyone I love – gone, dead. You can’t sacrifice yourself like that, Kalina. You can’t risk it.”

“But what if…”

“Don’t go to him, Kalina!” Jaegar’s voice grew more and more urgent. “I’ve never wanted anything more than this – to keep you safe. To keep you with me. I’ll fight him if I have to. But I won’t let him hurt you.”

“No, not yet,” said Kalina. “Don’t fight him. He hasn’t come for me yet – he’s biding his time for some reason, waiting.” She squeezed his hand. “We need to worry about a defense, about keeping the people I love safe in case Stuart – or Mal – shows up. Justin or Maeve – what about them? Mal could use them to get to me.”

“Octavius is taking care of Mal,” said Jaegar. “They’re the two strongest vampires – they have the oldest feud. Octavius will do what he can. And considering all that Mal’s done – destroying the Consortium, all Octavius’ friends, friends he’s known for centuries, not to mention hurting you, I hope it’s Octavius that manages to get rid of that blackguard.”

“Where are they now?”

“In Europe. Mal’s recovering from the duel; he’s on the run, trying to regain strength. Octavius has engaged some of his best men to follow the scent. They’ll find his weakness; get to him before he gets to you. He told me…” Jaegar gritted his teeth. “He told me to send you his best.”

Kalina felt a familiar pang. She knew it was best not to think of Octavius, of the time they had shared, of the impossible love she knew she had to give up, but even with Jaegar holding her in his arms it was hard not to think of the beauty and grandeur of Europe, of those weeks they had shared in Italy and France.

“What was it like,” asked Kalina. “Spending time with Octavius as a human – you know, before you became a vampire?”

Jaegar turned away, fixing his gaze on the curtains in the hotel suite. “The same, really,” he murmured. “Except, without the bloodlust. It was strange, being a human among vampires. I felt the way you must have felt. Like meat. I knew they were Octavius’ men, and I trusted them, but the way they looked at me….I knew what they wanted with me. It was strange. Scary, even.”

“I guess you know how it feels, huh?” said Kalina. “Remember when we first met – you treated me like prey.” She laughed. “You were such a jerk back then,” she said.

Jaegar gave a sheepish nod, his eyes still not meeting her. “I know,” he said. “I still thought all humans were just…prey. And then I met you. And that made all the difference in the world.”

*******

Jaegar remembered well how Octavius’ men had treated him, how they had eyed him, their bright, gem-gleaming eyes narrowing with desire. They had been his friends once, when he was a vampire, as Octavius’ second-in-command and his colleagues, comrades-at-arms; now, he knew they were his natural enemies, his predators. They wanted to bite into him, to savage their way into his bloodstream, to consume him. They wanted from him what he had been so used to wanting; he could see in their eyes the same desire that had ravaged him the first time he saw Kalina in the rain outside the Rutherford Library.

He had never been afraid, not truly. In nearly one thousand years Jaegar had always believed fervently in his ability to, at the end, overcome any obstacle, defeat any foe. He had never – even when going up against Mal – doubted his ability to fight to the death for what he cared for.

Until now.

It had only taken a week in Octavius and his men’s company to realize how dangerous it was to be a human. The joy of being able to breathe, to taste food, to feel the sun without pain had all vanished; in its place Jaegar felt only fear, fear that he could not protect himself or his family, fear that – having lost Aaron and Stuart, he would lose Kalina, too.

In the end, it had not been a difficult choice. Jaegar had wrestled with it, at first, raged against what he knew he had to do, violently punched the walls of Octavius’ dark cherry wood guest bedroom, paced through the corridors of the mansion. But in his mind there was no doubt that he had only one choice if he wanted to save the woman he loved.

And so he prepared himself a last meal, the sumptuous roast chicken that he had so loved to tear into when he was a boy, and a knight, in Norman England. He watched the sun rise one final time, and enjoyed the sun as he knew he could never truly enjoy it again. And then he went into Octavius’ chamber, kneeled at his master’s feet, and once more pledged his services, once more asked Octavius to be his maker, his sire, his lord.

Dying hurt even more the second time around. Jaegar felt his blood turn dry and his body shake and shudder until it was not part of himself at all, but rather a dead thing which he inhabited by sheer accident. The scent of death filled his nostrils, but he could feel his fangs sharp and slicing on his tongue.

He was a vampire once more.

But he could never reveal to Kalina the source of his transformation, his return into the fold. He could never let her live with the guilt that he had given up his humanity for her.

She could never know.

Chapter 4

Jaegar turned to Kalina, massaging her shoulders with his strong, sure fingers. “Come on,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about something else. We’ve always been used to living this way, you and I. Me a vampire, you a human. Nothing will have changed.”

“I thought…” sighed. She wasn’t sure what she thought. That a human Jaegar, with his preternatural beauty intact, but his bloodlust gone, would be the only chance she had left for a normal life? But she couldn’t think about that now – it would only be too painful.

“Come on,” said Jaegar again. “Kal, let’s get ourselves some dinner.”

“Get me some dinner, you mean,” said Kalina bitterly, getting dressed and tidying herself up to go out. She put on a navy blue Yale sweater, jeans, and boots. “Where to, Mr. Been There, Done That. Any suggestions where to go?” she asked, leaning up to Jaegar and playing with his hair. They kissed long and slowly.

“Hmm,” Jaegar said finally breaking off. “Just because I can’t eat doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy sitting at a nice restaurant now and then. Besides I enjoy watching you eat. You savor your food…watching you eat is almost sensual, Kalina.” Jaegar winked. “I get quite a pleasure imagining how good the food tastes just by watching you.” He traced a finger along her cheeks. “Kalina, I’ve known so many women throughout the years, but you are a rarity. You enjoy life, savoring every moment. You take every opportunity to learn, to explore, to open your eyes to what could be. It makes a vampire like me feel alive. Life’s Blood or not, that alone makes you so attractive so alluring to us vampires.”

“Come on,” he said again. “We have to get you some food. There’s a place I remember from fifty years ago – a little restaurant that serves New England clam chowder and butternut squash. Solid Northeastern fare.”

“We’re not in California anymore,” Kalina laughed as they made their way down the street strolling arm-in-arm in the direction of the restaurant.

“Last time I was here,” said Jaegar, “It was 1958, and pretty little girls like you weren’t allowed on campus. It was all-boys, in those days, blue-blooded scions of wealthy families who’d gone to schools like Andover and St. Paul’s – jackets and blazers. I looked so young, you see – it was easy to blend in with them, to pretend I was a student…”

His voice trailed off.

“And then?” Kalina asked.

“And then I did things I wasn’t proud of,” Jaegar said quietly, and the conversation turned to silence. “But now you’re blue-blooded too!” he said again, almost too brightly. He pointed at Kalina’s Yale sweater – the school’s navy blue colors. “Fifty years ago, not a woman in this place.” He laughed. “But now, a smart girl like you�you can wear jackets and blazers with the best of them.”

Kalina snuggled up to Jaegar. His body was cold, she knew, but curling up against him gave her some psychological warmth. “While I’m here,” she said. “I guess I’ll need them. Although I don’t officially move out here until I graduate from school, I’ll miss Rutherford. And Justin.” She sighed.

“Justin?” Jaegar furrowed his brows. “I thought Justin was coming out here too. Wasn’t that the plan? For him to get an internship?”

“Yes.” Kalina looked down. “That’s the plan.”

‘But..?”

“If he gets the permanent transfer, I guess he’ll do it,” said Kalina. “He’s afraid of leaving me here by myself, leaving me in danger. Afraid of being a bad brother, of not doing enough for me. But I think he’d be happier, so much happier, in Rutherford. Justin’s not like me; he doesn’t love to travel. Rutherford’s his home. He drove two hours to college in order to be able to stay living in Rutherford, taking care of me. And I think – he’s being awfully secretive about it – but I’m pretty sure he has a girl over there too. I didn’t know about that before. But I’m sick of people making sacrifices for me. I didn’t ask for it.”

“Tell Justin he can go back to Rutherford,” said Jaegar quietly. “If he wants. I’ll take care of you. I’m a vampire again; I’m stronger than any human can ever hope to be – no offense to your brother. I’ll protect you.”

“But what if…?”

Kalina had a world of questions: what if they broke up – were they even dating? – what if her college life took her away from him, what if Stuart came back, what if Octavius…

But Jaegar silenced her with a kiss. “I’m here now,” he said. “I want to stay with you. There’s nothing more in the world that I want. Whatever happens.”

He took her into his arms, encircling her with his frame, his strength. He looked deeply into her eyes. “You don’t know how much I love you, do you?”

“Jaegar,” Kalina said. “I have a feeling…” but her words were cut off with a lingering kiss from Jaegar.

She felt herself melting into him, cleaving to his power, letting his beauty once again intoxicate her. In his arms, she could pretend. She could pretend that everything was simple, was normal. She could pretend that everything was going to be okay. Darkness covered them like a cloak, and the anonymity was thrilling. Nobody knew who they were here. They weren’t vampires, weren’t humans, weren’t carriers. They had no past, no responsibilities. They were only two lovers, kissing on a New England street, with nothing before them but their passion.

And then they heard the voice, ringing in both their ears.

So you’re back, brother.

Kalina jumped back. It wasn’t until now that she had realized how like Jaegar’s voice Stuart’s was – how similar – how easy it was for a sound to change from loving to cruel…

It looks like you’ve wasted no time getting to her, my brother. Just like always – you always get what you wanted. Even if you had to take it from your little brother first. And she was mine first, you know – before she ever was yours…taking Kalina from me was unforgivable. You knew how much I wanted her…

Jaegar whirled around, scanning the darkness. “Where are you?!” Kalina could sense his fear. Once, Jaegar had been easily the stronger vampire, the one who would always vanquish his quiet, unassuming little brother in any argument. But now Stuart was drunk on Life’s Blood, and there was no such surety. Stuart was stronger, now; they could both feel it.

“Show yourself!” Jaegar cried out. “Or keep on hiding yourself away like the coward you are!”

“No, brother,” Stuart gave a smooth chuckle. “This time, I’m the one to set the rules. You’ll see me when I want you to see me.” Stuart’s voice grew softer, more caressing. “And Kalina, I must remind you – this is all your fault.”

“What?” Kalina shot back.

“You always wanted me to break out of my shell – always encouraged me to find myself, to know myself. Don’t hold back, you said! Well, I’m not holding back any longer my dear, not anymore. Jaegar knows, doesn’t he, what I was like before Vampire Wine flowed through my veins? Jaegar remembers the Dark Knight, doesn’t he?” Another laugh came echoing through the darkness. “Don’t you, brother?”

“What’s he talking about?” Kalina tensed. “Wait!” But they both felt the rushing of wind, the rustling of leaves, and the silence. Stuart was gone.

Jaegar stared straight ahead, his lips pursed with fear.

“What’s he talking about?” Kalina pressed. “The Dark Knight – what’s that? What does that mean?” But she could see that Jaegar’s mind was elsewhere – his gaze wandering in another century, another land, another time.

“Seven hundred years,” said Jaegar hoarsely. “That’s how long it’s been – and it’s so easy to forget. So easy to cast off those old days, to dismiss them as another existence. You’ll never live so long – you’ll never know…”

“What?”

“I’ve always spoken of Stuart as holding back. But that wasn’t true. He suffers – suffered, from guilt, Stuart did. Guilt because of who he was back then. He doesn’t speak of it, never did. Not to you, to me, to anybody. When he was in Octavius’ army, when he was first turned, Stuart was high on bloodlust, as high as I was, if not more so.” He sighed. “We did many terrible things in those days. To other vampires, as Octavius commanded us, but also – no, Kalina, mostly to humans. Expendable humans. Women, often. They always thought Stuart was so beautiful, with his boyish looks, that alluring angelic sense of goodness in his eyes that turned out to be a lie. He used his aristocratic bearing to seduce tavern wenches and peasants’ daughters, ravishing women before draining them dry…”

Kalina blanched. She had always thought of Stuart as the good vampire, the one who had drunk Vampire Wine, who had quenched his thirst in the vineyards.

“Not always,” said Jaegar, reading her thoughts. “We were vampires before Vampire Wine existed. We had to live somehow. We had to survive. We did what we did…” Jaegar drew in breath sharply. “I always thought Stuart was the good one. When Vampire Wine was invented, he redeemed himself – whereas I always remained proud of my vampire nature, in love with it, in bondage to it, until you…”

“He was redeemed once,” said Kalina quickly. “We can redeem him again.”

Jaegar shook his head. “It’s too dangerous,” he said. “The Dark Knight – the warrior Stuart was – was formidable; with Life’s Blood in his veins, he would be more evil still. I at least had spent my evil energy, my bloodlust; when I was turned, so much less had been repressed. In Stuart’s case, he has nearly five hundred years of pent-up desire to let out…and it’s too dangerous for you to go near him, go near that. He’s smarter than I am – he always was smarter. More devious.”

“But he must be suffering!” Kalina cried. “When you were infected with Life’s Blood, you suffered, didn’t you? Raging against the effects of the poison? Trying to stop yourself from going bad, all the way bad! How do we know Stuart isn’t suffering too?”

“I have no doubt he is,” said Jaegar gravely. “He is most likely in torment, letting the evil seep into his veins. He doesn’t want this…to hurt humans, to hurt you.”

“How can you let this happen?!” Kalina shouted.

“I’m his brother!” For the first time, Jaegar looked truly angry. “Do you think I don’t suffer as you do? Knowing there might be a way – knowing the risk is too great! We have always been rivals, Stuart and I always hated each other. But we are brothers. I loved him. I always said I loved Aaron more – we both did – for Aaron was innocent, not party to our blood-quarrels, our anger. But I had seven hundred years by my brother’s side, our anger borne out of our blood-bond, out of our love. I love my brother, Kalina. I loved my brother enough to stand aside when it was he that you loved first, although I wanted you just as much in the beginning. I may have denied it – but…he and I are one. And I feel his love for you, twinned with my own, and that combined love – the love of the Stuart I once knew and the vampire I am now – has convinced me that what Stuart, what my brother, would really want is for me to save you from the monster he has become.”

“And what about the others?” Kalina said. “If Stuart really has become the Dark Knight again, what about all the innocent people he’d kill? He’d go on a rampage!”

“And what if it was Justin?” Jaegar shot back. “If you get close to him, the humans he’ll target will be the ones you love. He’ll try to play with you, to seduce you with mind games. He’ll go after Justin, after Maeve. He has the upper hand!”

“He can’t!” Kalina cried. “We have something he doesn’t. We can both use our blood bond with Stuart against him, to sense his whereabouts, predict his movements. And you’ve been through Life’s Blood. You must know its weaknesses.”

Jaegar shook his head. “I only know of one,” he said. “You.”

As he spoke, Kalina felt the familiar prickling and burning in her blood, the sensation of Life’s Bpringing itself into existence, boiling in her veins, stinging throughout her body, coming alive, hatching within her.

Life’s Blood was near.

Jaegar looked up, confused. His eyes darted around.  It was Life’s Blood – he knew the smell all too well – but it wasn’t coming from Kalina.

“Quick, that way!” Jaegar took Kalina’s hand and together they followed the feeling, the pulsing sensation that had overtaken Kalina’s blood, that was throbbing within her, that was calling to Jaegar, too – as Kalina knew it must call to all vampires.

They turned off the main street and into one of New Haven’s dark alleys – a dumpster-filled back of some dive bar swarming with fake IDs and cheap liquor.

Halfway down the alleyway, the scent vanished; the pain coursing through Kalina stopped, suddenly, as if it had never existed at all.

“What’s going on?” Jaegar looked around… but in her blood Kalina was sure what was happening. The girl from the hospital. The girl with Kalina’s face and needle-marks in her arms. She was near, and Kalina had to find her…

And then darkness came over them, a figure made out of darkness, a shadow knocking them down, attacking them, a stake shimmering in hand…

Stuart? No – the figure was too small, too lean.

Kalina drew her own stake. “Stop!” she cried.

And then she was looking at her, or looking at herself – a mirror reflection, but a distorted one, like looking through a yellowed, cracked looking-glass in a carnival funhouse. The woman staring back at her was Kalina, but not Kalina – the same large eyes, the same full lips, slim nose – but older, thinner – the bony, ill-proportioned body of a junkie, with haunted eyes and a grimmer expression.

“Oh my…”

But before Kalina could finish putting together her thoughts, Jaegar had swooped down upon his attacker.

“Jaegar, wait…”

And then Jaegar had turned his assailant to face him, and he saw her face.

He stopped short, jumping back from the woman. “Kalina?” His voice was trembling.

“Who are you?”

“Get away from the vampire!” The woman’s voice was hoarse, ragged. She spoke haltingly – wherever she was from, English wasn’t her first language. “He’s dangerous –he’ll kill you.”

“I know he’s a vampire,” said Kalina, trying to calm the woman down. “He’s my vampire.”

The woman’s eyes opened wide in astonishment.

“I know what he is,” said Kalina. “I love him anyway. He’s never hurt me – he never will. Whatever you think you’re doing – you’re not.”

“He’s a vampire,” repeated the woman. “He must die.”

“Not this vampire,” said Kalina. “If you want to fight him, you have to get through me.”

The woman stood down, clearly more confused than angry.

“Who are you?” said Kalina again. “You’re like me – your blood…you can feel it, right? Who are you?”

The woman was silent for a while. “Max,” she said at last.

“Are you a carrier, too? Of Life’s Blood?”

Kalina saw Max blanch and panic. “How do you know about that?” She saw Max’s eyes fix upon her necklace – the ruby heart that Kalina had worn since her days at the orphanage, her one memory of her biological parents. “Where did you…”

Before Kalina could blink, Max had sprung upon Kalina, seizing the necklace and tearing it off her throat with a single, forced movement. And then she was gone, leaving the night as empty as it had been before.

“My necklace…” was all Kalina could say.

“I’ll go after her!” Jaegar began running. “I’ve got super strength – there’s no way she could outrun me…meet me at the hotel!”

“But Jaegar…” Kalina called after him.

“Stay safe – I’ll follow her scent.”

And with that, Jaegar too vanished into the night.

Chapter 5

Kalina wrapped her scarf tighter around her shoulders. No sooner had Jaegar vanished than the wind had begun to blow harder, chilling her veins. Kalina began breathing hard. How had she managed to get herself alone in an alley like this, on a night like this? She could feel the icy rush of danger, the knowledge that Stuart was there, was watching her. He’d just been waiting for a moment like this, a moment ripe for him to take her alone, to conquer her. She sensed his presence – tentatively, at fear, her sensation mingling with her fear, and then at last realized it was inevitable. The chill in her blood was inevitable.

He was here.

“I thought you’d have come sooner!” Kalina said out loud, trying to sound braver than she felt. “What took you so long?” She tightened her grip on her stake, willing Jaegar and the mysterious Max to return soon.

“My apologies.”

Kalina whirled around to face him and then stopped, shocked. What she had expected to see was a wild-eyed, blood-stained Stuart, a nightmarish creature of madness. Instead, the Stuart that was leaning against the alleyway wall was smooth, polite, even charming. He was dressed in a black shirt that had come half-unbuttoned; she could see the loose flow of his black slacks. She remembered how traditional Stuart always used to look- wearing a suit and te to even the most informal of occasions. Now, he looked as if he’d just been dancing away the evening at one of New Haven’s nightclubs. Kalina felt a familiar pang of longing as she stared at him. This handsome creature, this beautiful man – this was the man she had once kissed on her doorstep back in Rutherford, who had once taken her to the Senior Prom.

There had to be hope, Kalina thought quickly. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Stuart, not after everything else she had been through. She had saved Jaegar after all, hadn’t she?

She would remain calm, she told herself, collected – not resort to violence unless she needed to. She would help Stuart see the light, to rediscover his own humanity. She had to keep believing that. As she stared at Stuart’s lithe, smiling frame – so much looser now, so much more relaxed than the tense, guilt-ridden boy who had once loved her – she knew that she could never give up on him, never give up on that shining glimmer in his green-brown eyes.

“Stuart,” Kalina gasped, but before she could finish Stuart had swooped across the alleyway, gathering her into his arms – his grip at once tight and caressing. She felt the swell of compulsion within her – Stuart was trying to subdue her, mesmerize her into submission. It was almost working…

She pulled away quickly. “Stuart, Stuart,” Kalina began, trying to keep her voice soft, trying to keep Stuart calm. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

“Hush now!” Stuart’s voice was light, even carefree. When Jaegar was under the influence of Life’s Blood, he had become a madman, enraged with passion. But Stuart seemed almost completely unconcerned. He didn’t even seem evil, Kalina thought – his eyes were almost kind, as patient and sweet as they had ever been. What if there was some hope – some chance…

“I have no regrets,” Stuart said. He caressed the side of her face; Kalina could feel her cheek tingle.

“What?” Could it be? Was Stuart over-mastering the noxious, toxic influence of the Life’s Blood within him?

“I know what happened,” said Stuart, almost genially. “I know you chose Jaegar. I know he became human. And for the first time in my seven hundred years as a vampire, my own chance at becoming human – at fulfilling my long-held dream – has been extinguished. It has never been bleaker for me, Kalina.”

She could see the sadness in his eyes as he continued. “So, I had no regrets when Mal poured the Life’s Blood down my throat, into my veins. It took the pain away. It took away the worry, the longing, the desire. It took away that constant battle that I was always raging with myself – my vampire nature against my human side. It allowed me to accept my fate as a vampire, not some mere half-breed aping humanity.”

Stuart gave a sad smile. “You see, Kalina,” he continued. “It looks like Life’s Blood hasn’t made me ill. It has cured me. It has cured me from ever wanting to become human again. It has cured me of my obsession with Life’s Blood, with you. Cured me of my need to steal my humanity from your veins.” His smile flowered, growing crueler. “That doesn’t mean, of course, I’m not still attracted to you – that I don’t still wish to have my way with you…”

Kalina took a step back, but before she could run, Stuart had wrapped her once more in his arms. His grip was tighter now, leaving red marks on her wrists and arms, as he took off running, setting both of them in flight, high above the streets of New Haven.

It was no use struggling, Kalina knew. If Stuart dropped her, she would fall hundreds of feet to the earth. Her chances were better if she waited. Still, her body wanted nothing more than to throw off this imprisoning grip, to escape. She could feel fear rise in her throat, taste it in her mouth.

“Where are we going?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“Somewhere private,” said Stuart lightly. “Where we can be alone. I’ve purchased a place nearby, a winery. Not California wine, out here, but parts of New England…”

“I don’t suppose you need grapes to make Vampire Wine,” Kalina said bitterly.

“Oh, I’m through with Vampire Wine,” Stuart laughed. “The wine I drink now comes from the veins of pretty little girls like you. But I like wineries – walking in the vineyards, operating the press. One of those things from my human life that I’ll never lose, I’m afraid.”

Stuart flew so fast, they landed before long in what Kalina noted worriedly looked like a remote stretch of land, far from any hint of civilization in the Connecticut countryside. They were at the door of an old farmhouse, creaking and unlocked. Stuart kicked the door open.

“Welcome home, my dear,” he said.

The place was cozier on the inside than on the outside. It had been furnished in the classic New England style – filled with quilts and pine wood.

“Shall I make you some tea?” Stuart asked; with such smooth sincerity that Kalina began to shiver. This preternaturally calm Stuart was almost more unnerving than the madman Jaegar had become. “Don’t try to escape, please – I’d hate to have to set the dogs on you.”

“No tea, thanks,” said Kalina, her eyes scanning the cottage for an escape route. She heard the loud, savage barking of dogs from outside and gulped – hard.

“Are you sure?” Stuart smiled at her. “I keep milk and sugar on hand for all of my human…ahem…guests.”

Kalina didn’t want to think about how many guests actually left Stuart’s cottage.

“So,” Stuart rounded the room, turning on the lights, “how did you enjoy your Yale tour? Thinking of going to Big Blue after all?”

Every minute that Stuart kept talking to her in that airy tone of voice was another minute for Jaegar to find her, Kalina thought. As much as Stuart’s blithe manner unnerved her, the best thing to do, she figured, was keep talking.

“Thinking about it,” said Kalina. She laughed bitterly. “We figured it would be safer than Rutherford.”

“It’s not a bad commute from here,” said Stuart. “And of course, this will be much more comfortable when I get the place renovated. You won’t have to live in one of those nasty dorms. You’ll have much more space. And I’m happy to cook you breakfast.”

Kalina’s jaw dropped open. “What?”

This wasn’t what she had been expecting.

“When you move in here, I mean,” said Stuart. He laughed. “I always dreamed of having a real life with you, taking care of you, providing for you, fulfilling your every needs…while you fulfill mine, Kalina.”

Was he joking? Serious? Kalina scanned his face and could find no sign of mirth. “I thought you said you weren’t in love with me anymore,” said Kalina, as carefully as she could.

“I’m not,” said Stuart. “But being a vampire is terribly lonely. And I do still have my appetites. Certainly, you’d rather live with me than get sucked dry, don’t you think? I can have any girl, Kalina, but I want you.” He smiled. “You’ve got spunk, you’re gorgeous, sexy, interesting, and Jaegar wants you.”

“Stuart!” She had no idea how to reach him, how to approach him. The polite veneer of this new Stuart was even more terrifying than the monster Jaegar had been – divorced from all sense and reason. “What…makes you think I’d move in with you?”

“It seems like the logical option,” said Stuart pleasantly. “If you move in with me – and perform all necessary, ahem, wifely duties to my satisfaction, I can guarantee that your friends and family will be safe. If not, well, it’s terribly easy for me to simply sink my teeth into your brother’s neck, and drain out every last drop of blood from his body. Not to mention your friend Maeve. She’s awfully good looking – a great body. And she did like me. You can tell a lot about a person when you’ve shared her blood. Including her location…I know where she is right now. And I could find her very easily. If I weren’t, say, distracted. By you…”

Kalina felt her blood run cold. Jaegar had been right after all. In this calm, collected figure, there was not a hint of the Stuart she had known and loved. She was in the den of a monster, and there was no way out.

Chapter 6

Jaegar dashed through the night, tearing through the darkness. The wind whipped at his back; he darted towards shadows, one after another vanishing as he approached. The mysterious Max was either very good at hiding, or she had managed to shake him off long since. Jaegar whirled around, looking into every corner of every alleyway. But there was no sign of anyone there.

Jaegar furrowed his brow. The scent of Life’s Blood, so powerful, so intoxicating, had vanished now, and the night was empty. How had she managed to get so far away so quickly? Even Kalina, with Life’s Blood coursing through her veins, didn’t have the power of superhuman speed.

“Hello,” he called out to the darkness, but there was no answer. Max had vanished, taking with her any hope of solving the mystery of her identity. Who was this mysterious woman – who looked so much like Kalina, a Kalina haunted by so much more pain, more sadness. Could this enigmaic Max have been Kalina, under other circumstances?

Jaegar knew that Kalina was adopted, that the situation of her true parentage, of her birth, was still mysterious. Was it possible that Kalina could have relatives out there, relatives that even she didn’t know about? The orphanage in Nepal…that was a lead that went nowhere. Even if Kalina was in that orphanage, that didn’t mean any other siblings had to be there.

For all Jaegar knew, there could be more carriers of Life’s Blood out there, many more. To his shame, the idea gave him a certain thrill. Life’s Blood had lost much of its effect on him after he’d been exposed to it and then made human again, but he was a vampire after all, and still drawn to the blood’s siren call.

Jaegar sniffed the air, trying to track down that familiar smell – so like Kalina’s, and yet so different – a strange distortion of the perfume he knew so well. But it was futile. Max was gone.

And what had she wanted with that ruby necklace? She had looked so surprised when her eyes had fallen upon Kalina’s neck – so shocked – as if the necklace had meant something to her…

Thinking about necks made Jaegar hungry. He hated the feeling. For those few, blessed weeks, Jaegar had been human, free of bloodlust, able to eat and drink like a normal man. But now he felt that insane hunger growing again, a hunger that he had learned to control centuries ago, but which now felt as new and as terrifying to him as in the days when he had first turned vampire. He needed blood – and quickly.

He wouldn’t hurt anyone, Jaegar tried to convince himself. He wouldn’t do any serious damage. He’d just take a little blood – just a bit, from a girl attracted to him, who would willingly do whatever he asked.

Almost unconsciously, Jaegar found himself making his way towards Club Night, one of New Haven’s seediest joints. He felt himself brush his way into the crowd, feel that familiar sense of pride and triumph as, one by one, the girls on the dance floor stopped to gasp, to stare, to linger their gazes upon his beauty. Seven hundred years and this feeling of power never got old. Before Kalina, he had never had to try to woo a woman.

He knew Kalina loved him – although he knew too how conflicted her feelings were, for him and for his brothers and maker – but this was different. There was no love in the eyes of the women fixed upon him as he made his way upon the dance floor, began swaying his hips to the music. This was just pure desire, naked and simple, a lust that matched his own.

A fair trade, he said to himself. They’d get what they wanted from him; he would get what he needed in return.

He found one girl in particular, a slender blonde college student dressed in what in other centuries could only be described as a corset, fitted tightly over a black leather miniskirt. All he had to do was glance in her direction, give her a tiny, imperceptible nod, and then she was his, dancing towards him, letting their bodies sway together in the music.

Memories of Kalina flashed through his brain, but he forced himself to ignore them. He was a vampire now, and he needed blood to survive – and Kalina’s blood was too dangerous to taste twice.

This is what he had to do to stay alive. He had never more than tasted Vampire Wine; the liquid was noxious to him. And, old vampire or new, he wasn’t about to start quaffing the stuff now.

“Want to get out of here?” he whispered, and the girl nodded, her intentions clear upon her face. He could feel her heart flutter against his empty chest.

He led the girl into a dark corner of the club, where they wouldn’t be seen. “Ready for something a little…different?” he asked her, staring into her eyes, concentrating his power, his ability to seduce…

In a few moments he could see compulsion cloud her face; she was willing and waiting for him. Not too bad, he thought – as long as he could stop himself from taking too much. In the morning, she’d think she just had a particularly raucous hookup, nothing more.

She sighed contentedly as he sank his teeth into her neck, drinking down the nectar, sucking it into himself, feeling its strength and fire line his veins. How long he drank he could not tell. He would stop, he told himself, in just a moment – just a moment longer…

“Jaegar?”

The voice broke his reverie, and Jaegar jerked up in time to see his conquest turn pale and stagger against the wall.

“I’m…not…feeling well…” she murmured, before collapsing in the corner.

“What…the hell are you doing?”

It was Justin, Kalina’s brother, his face wide with astonishment and horror. He was holding a stake in his hands – trembling, but strong.

“Go back to your dormitory,” said Jaegar to the girl, as softly as he could. “Clean yourself up. You won’t remember a thing about tonight, understand?”

“Understood,” the girl replied in a breathy whisper, rising and tottering – dream-like – through the dance floor, towards the exit.

“I thought…” Justin’s mouth was gaping open. “I thought…”

“It didn’t work,” said Jaegar shortly. He didn’t want to have this conversation right now, especially now that his food source was getting away.

Had Justin not intervened, would he have stopped in time? Jaegar didn’t want to think about that either.

“Mal? Did Mal..?”

“No, Mal didn’t turn me,” said Jaegar with annoyance. “I’m not evil – I’m just hungry.”

“And that’s why you’re cheating on my sister?”

“Would you rather I ate your sister?” Jaegar shot back. Seeing Justin’s dumbstruck face, he felt a bit guilty, and adopted a softer tone. “Listen, I need to eat. That’s just how it works. I wasn’t going to hurt her – she wasn’t going to lose any more blood than she would at a blood donation…”

“You want me to believe that?” Justin’s eyes narrowed.

“I didn’t want to risk Kalina’s life by feeding on her. Her blood is different, we both know that. I’m trying to protect her.”

“You’d better be,” said Justin. “Because if you break her heart, I’ll put a stake through yours.”

“More likely she’ll break mine,” said Jaegar, giving a sad hollow laugh. It was true, after all. The only thing that could save Stuart was Kalina unlocking her pent-up love for him – and if he knew Kalina at all, she’d stop at nothing in order to turn him back. Even if it meant reawakening that love.

“Where is she?” said Justin. “I thought she was with you.”

“I…had an emergency,” said Jaegar, deciding to leave the issue of Max for later. “We’re meeting back at the hotel.”

“Let’s go,” said Justin, coldly. “Only, listen up – if you so much as think of trying to bite me…”

“I won’t bite you,” said Jaegar. “I’ve fed already. Besides, you’re not really my type.”

“Oh, that’s heartening.” They walked faster in the evening cold. “And my sister is?”

“Your sister can take care of herself,” said Jaegar. “And I’m here to protect her too.”

“She may be eighteen,” said Justin, “but that doesn’t make her any less my kid sister, do you understand me? She says she trusts you, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re a vampire. You’ve been turned evil before…”

“I would die,” said Jaegar slowly, “efore letting anything happen to your sister.”

His voice was serious; he could tell that Justin believed him. With a reluctant nod, Justin turned away. “Fine,” he said.

They reached the hotel room, and Justin fumbled for his keys. He turned the handle and opened the door.

“What the…”

“Where is she?” Justin cried.

Jaegar could only look back at Justin with incredulity and fear.

Kalina wasn’t there.

Chapter 7

Kalina thought hard. What could she do? That cold, cruel monster sitting so pleasantly in his armchair, smiling at her – that wasn’t the Stuart she knew and loved. Even as he sipped from his wine glass – whose blood it was that filled the cup Kalina didn’t want to know – and whistled old operatic arias, Stuart was – Kalina knew – planning the myriad of ways in which he could torture her, keep her under his spell. Once, he wanted her blood, and he wanted her, loving her for his chance for humanity. At least she knew that. But now he wanted nothing but to play with her, as a cat plays with a mouse, and she found this desire more terrible still.

How could Stuart, who had once wanted to be human so badly that his desire had almost destroyed him, now turn his back completely not only on Life’s Blood, but on any chance of returning to his former self?

“What is it, my sweet?” asked Stuart airily.

“Nothing,” Kalina said quickly. “On reflection, Stuart, I think I’ll take you up on that cup of tea.”

He stopped for a moment, confused, before smiling broadly. “Of course, my darling. Sugar or milk?” he asked as though they were at high tea.

Kalina smiled right back, grimacing inwardly. “Both, please.”

The false pleasantries bought her some time to think. She had saved Jaegar, after all – there had to be some way for her to save Stuart! But it was only once Jaegar had drunk her blood – blood willingly given – that he was set free, that he was made human. Kalina wondered if she could turn Stuart back the sam way! If she truly loved him, as deep down she knew she did, then surely him drinking her blood would save him?

But now she was in a situation entirely new to her. She was with a vampire who had no interest in Life’s Blood. How could she get him to taste her, to drink down the blood she hoped against hope would cure him, when he no longer had any interest in being cured? The Life’s Blood Mal had fed him against his will had destroyed his craving for it forevermore – and with it his craving for her.

She would have to seduce him.

“So, Stuart,” said Kalina, as brightly as she could, as he set down the cup of tea before her. “If you don’t love me, it does seem terribly silly to keep me here, all locked up.”

“I didn’t say quite that,” said Stuart, sighing lightly. “A part of me will always love you, I think. But it is only my obsession for you that has gone, clearing my head, leaving me to feel free at last. I no longer feel mad, consumed by madness nor by desire; no longer do I feel that any moment without your blood on my teeth is torture.” He smiled, showing his row of glimmering fangs. “But I’m still fond of you, my dear. I still want to keep you around. Like a pet, perhaps! Something to keep me company. Not to mention,” Stuart gave a little laugh, “how much it would irk my poor dear brother to be separated from you. He’s not used to not getting what he wants, you see. He’s not used to being refused. When we were boys, why, it was always he who had the upper hand. He was the eldest, you see. The one with all the power. But not anymore. Now I have the one thing that my older brother really wants, the one thing that matters to him! You’re the first woman to ever change Jaegar –and change him you did, quite literally.”

He took another gulpful of blood from the cup; Kalina sipped her tea, feeling the cup tremble on the saucer.

“Of course, that doesn’t mean he really loves you. When Life’s Blood filled his veins, when it took away all his inhibitions, then it became clear what my brother truly wanted. And it wasn’t your pretty soul, or your personality he cared about then,” he spat.

Kalina flinched, but recovered. She had to stay calm, to stay on-mission. If she wanted to save Stuart, she had to convince him to drink her blood. “And when Life’s Blood took away your inhibitions,” she said softly, edging closer to him on her seat. “What did you want then?”

Stuart’s eyes flickered downwards, breaking her gaze.

“After all,” she said, her voice as smooth as milk, “for so long, you wanted nothing more than to turn human. You were even willing to fall in love with me – so desperately in love with the Carrier – in order to get it…”

She saw Stuart’s jaw twitch involuntarily, and knew that she had hit a nerve. She felt her heart tremble faster within her chest; felt fear knock her breathess. Every word she spoke, every step she took, could be the key to saving Stuart – or the cause of the destruction of them both.

“I liked the idea of being human,” said Stuart. “Or at least I liked it once. Now, I find the whole affair ridiculous! Why turn human – when it would deprive me of all my abilities, all my powers? When you can do all the things a vampire can do – why ever even dream of giving it up?”

Kalina gritted her teeth. She had to get through to him, had to convince Stuart that his love for her, his humanity, were not yet dead. She concentrated on her own feelings, listening to the beating of her own heart, trying to bring back the memory of her own love for him, unlock her own desire. She remembered him kissing her on the porch that first night after their date, remembered how dashing he had looked waiting for her at prom night, feeling the pang strike her heart. She had to feel it, too, if this was ever going to work.

“I don’t think that’s true,” she said. She reached for Stuart’s hands and placed them underneath her sweater, right above her breasts, letting him feel the heartbeat racing through her body. She shivered at the touch of his cold hands, warmed by her heat. “You wanted a pulse, didn’t you? A heartbeat running through you – your heart to beat like mine.”

She studied his face closely for any signs of desire. At last she found what she had been looking for – a slight tremble in his lips, betraying his longing.

“You have to admit it,” she moved even closer, letting the smell of her Life’s Blood fill his nostrils, sensing his response, “that there’s nothing more intoxicating to a vampire than Life’s Blood, even now.”

She could see the burning of desire in his eyes – a flicker, like a candle, at first, that grew into a roaring fire as she leaned into him, his hands still cool on her breasts. She saw his fangs begin to lengthen; she saw him close his eyes. It was now or never, she knew. She had power; she had the upper hand, and she needed to use it – or lose Stuart forever.

She placed her lips to his neck and began kissing him, feeling him recoil – at first – in shock, before giving in to her touch, her desire for him. She reached his lips and felt his mouth open beneath her. “I want you to kiss me, Stuart,” she whispered. “Kiss me like you’ve always wanted to, like you’ve always dreamed of doing…”

Her heartbeat was growing faster, too; if this seduction was working on Stuart, then it was also working on her. “Like that night, after the prom, when you came back to my room. Remember that?”

Stuart looked up at her, his eyes upon her – almost transfixed – frozen with desire.

Her patience wore thin.

She grabbed him, kissing him with all the passion she could sumon up, warming his icy lips with the force of her desire. And at last he was kissing her back, responding to her touch, ripping the buttons from his shirt and slipping her blouse off again. The New England cold froze through her, at first, but then she was hot, hot with desire and longing, hot with her sensation of Stuart’s desire for her.

She had to do this, had to convince him.

And deep down, where she wouldn’t admit it, not even to herself, she knew she wanted to.

She could feel him groan softly beneath her. “I’m yours,” she cooed, arching her neck back so that he could see the full creamy whiteness of her throat. “All yours.”

She could feel his kisses trail up from her breasts towards her neck, towards the pulsing vein throbbing with her every movement. And then he stopped, his fangs perched over the spot.

Clever – she could hear his voice in her head, although he remained silent. You certainly are bold.

Had he realized her plan?

Sorry, Kalina – I’m afraid I’ll have to pass – as tempting as you are…

She froze.

Chapter 8

Stuart did not stop kissing her. Instead, he trailed his lips up and down the length of Kalina’s body. She felt her heart beating faster and faster, her fear so palpable in her throat that she could taste it, bitter and strong, upon her tongue. She could feel her heartbeat shaking her to her core, so overwhelmed was she with a combination of terror on desire. What would happen if this didn’t work? Kalina hadn’t thought so far ahead. She thought of Maeve, of Justin, of what they would look like with their blood drained from their bodies. No, whatever happened, Kalina could not let this happen to them. But what was the alternative? Spending eternity trapped as Stuart’s pet, his housekeeper, his pretend wife? She knew that any hope of normalcy was gone forever. How stupid she had been – to imagine that coming to Yale would mean the start of a new life! There would never be a new life for her; she knew that now. As long as she had Life’s Blood in her veins, vampires would come looking for her. Stuart, Mal, and Octavius – it didn’t matter.

She let Stuart take ove, letting herself be seduced by his kisses once more as she felt him unzipping her jeans, sliding her trousers down to her ankles. Was this it? Was this the moment? She felt him kissing her inner thighs – felt the prickle of his lips, the sharp iterations of his fangs. Had her telepathy been mistaken? Kalina closed her eyes and waited for the bite, trying to hide her desperation as Stuart’s fangs loomed above her sensitive, pale skin.

The bite never came.

“That’s enough for now,” said Stuart affably, withdrawing. “You should put your clothes back on.”

Kalina stopped, shocked. She could have kicked herself. Of course Stuart wouldn’t be easy to seduce. Even as a good vampire, Stuart had the strongest willpower of any vampire she knew. She’d experienced it firsthand. It was what had made him weak as a vampire. But now, with his evil awakened by Life’s Blood, Stuart’s willpower had become his strength, and he could use it to torment her. She’d offered herself up to him, let herself become vulnerable, let herself love him – and now she was even more under his power than before! What would it take for Stuart to bite her?

She would have to redouble her efforts. In a flash she had grabbed hold of Stuart’s shoulders and sat him down upon the couch, sitting on top of him, straddling his lap. “Really, Stuart!” She tried to sound seductive, to mask the desperation in her voice. “What happened? Did Life’s Blood wipe out your virility?” She gave a little laugh, hollow with fear. She knew Stuart was especially sensitive to these kinds of insults; she had seen Jaegar lob them at his brother often enough. “I remember you being a bigger, badder vampire before the Life’s Blood?”

She saw that her words had struck home.

“What happened to the vampire I used to know, Stuart? The one that came home with me after Prom Night? And now, it’s like you have no passion at all, no release. It’s like dating a human!” She gave him a sultry stare. At once she began to feel the power of Life’s Blood – primal, passionate – coursing through her. She had vampire blood in her veins, after all! Why shouldn’t she be as good at compulsion, at mind games, as her vampire companions? For so long, they had used their seductive vampire natures against her, confusing her, making her blood boil with desire?

This time, it was her turn.

“I wouldn’t push me if I were you,” said Stuart in a chilly tone, with enough anger hidden beneath his smooth veneer for Kalina to be sure that she’d gotten to him. “My dear girl, one push too many, and you may unleash something you’ll regret. Have you ever wished you were never born, Kalina? Bese I could make you wish that, very – very easily.”

In his eyes there was a glimmer of danger, of passion so dark that it made even Octavius, even Jaegar, pale beside it. So, this was the Dark Knight that Jaegar had spoken of. But why hadn’t the Life’s Blood released him? Or was the real Stuart in there somewhere – keeping the Dark Knight in check…at the cost of his own desire for Life’s Blood?

Kalina tried to find some trace of the Stuart she used to know in those eyes. “I missed you, Stuart,” she whispered, keeping her voice soft and lilting. “My good friend. My champion. My good knight. I missed you so much…” She could feel the truth in her words sear a hole in her heart. When Jaegar had turned bad, it had been Stuart who was so faithfully at her side, taking care of her. And now he had sacrificed his own humanity, his own self, to save her.

Overcome with compassion, Kalina reached out her hand, smoothing her palm against Stuart’s cheek. She saw him – instinctively – lean into her hand and close his eyes, his face a picture of anguish. There was something there – there had to be!

“Please,” she whispered. “Stuart – I missed you so much.” She felt tears, hot with desperation, trickling down her cheeks, stinging her eyes. “Please come back.”

She could see it when she looked at him: Stuart’s three personalities battling with each other inside his eyes. There was the cold, calculating Stuart who was tormenting her, the empty, emotionless shell. But deeper still there were two forces battling for control, resulting in this strange coolness – the Dark Knight, primal and passionate, and the good Stuart, the human Stuart, the man she’d once loved and still loved. Stuart’s mask and self-control were stronger than ever, but she had to risk it – had to risk unleashing the Dark Knight in order to get Stuart back.

“Feel something for me again,” she said. “Listen to my heart. It’s what I feel for you.”

His face was filled with pain.

“It’s okay, Stuart,” said Kalina. She looked into his eyes, surprised as ever by his beauty, although she had seen it so many times before. She tried to use compulsion on Stuart, concentrating on making him listen to her, making him hers. “Drink from me. I want you to drink from me.”

Stuart closed his eyes tighter; his jaw was tense, firm, under such tight control…

“I want you to, Stuart, really!” The compulsion grew stronger, prickling her blood; she could see him shaking with temptation. “Drink from me.”

“No!” His voice rose higher.

“Drink!” The telepathy between the two of them was stronger than ever; she knew her voice was echoing in his ears, in his brain. Drink!

“No!” This time, the voice was unearthly, wailing, wretched – full of pain. “No!”

Drink.

“Can’t you see?” It was Stuart’s voice – somehow – beneath all that agony. “It won’t work!” His telepathy said the rest: You don’t love me.

So, that’s the real reason Stuart had been holding back, the good Stuart holding back the Dark Knight within. It wasn’t that he’d lost his taste for Life’s Blood. It was his fear – the fear that had always held Stuart back, always kept him in the shadow of his brother – that Kalina never loved him as much as she loved Jaegar, as much as she loved Octavius. He had always been the trustworthy one, the loyal one, the dependable one, so easily forgotten…and even now, Stuart knew it. And even now, he feared it. And yet she felt her love for him within herself, so strong that she knew it was real, it had to be real.

“It is real,” Kalina whispered. “I’ve always loved you. I’ve always loved all of you. And if the spell worked on Jaegar – it will work on you too. You’re connected to me. You – Jaegar – Aaron – Octavius…you’re all connected to me. You’re part of me. You’re who I am. And I love you for that.”

“And what if I don’t want to turn human?” It was the voice of the Dark Knight, now, battling with Stuart – strange and cruel.

“You want this, don’t you?” Kalina motioned at her neck, exposing the bare whiteness to his fangs. “Drink…It will make you stronger, faster, better. Don’t be afraid. Don’t let your fears hold you back! Just drink me! Want me!”

Stuart’s fangs shot out once more. Between the Dark Knight’s desire and Stuart’s love, she had convinced him at last, tempted him at last. If this didn’t work, she knew, Stuart would be stronger than ever. It was a last-minute gambit. But it had to work – there was no other way. Kalina closed her eyes, waiting for the final bite, as Stuart’s mouth hovered over the spot he so wanted to kiss, so wanted to sink down into.

A bony hand stopped him as it wrapped around his throat. It was small, strong, and unmistakably feminine. Stuart staggered backwards, rearing up at the attacker.

Kalina recognized her immediately. “Max?”

Chapter 9

Kalina rolled over to get a good look at the woman who was standing before her, stake in hand, raised high above Stuart’s shirtless frame. Her eyes were full of a cold and righteous anger – eyes with flecks of gold in them that had turned to metallic silver by the sheer penetrating force of her gaze. Kalina knew immediately what this enigmatic Max was after. The way she was looking at Stuart – with a hatred so primal that seemed to burn along with the blood in her veins – said it all. Stuart wasn’t a person to her – wasn’t the kind, troubled gentleman that Kalina still saw somewhere deep down inside her. No, Max was looking at Stuart the same way she might look at a wolf or coyote that dared approach her land. Stuart was vermin to her; he was prey.

“Now, wait a second,” Kalina heard herself saying, stammering as she did up the buttons on her blouse. “Hold on – don’t do anything rash – I can explain!” Explain? Why did she have to explain anything to this mysterious interloper who always turned up at the most inconvenient times? What did she want? Kalina’s eyes fell on the ruby necklace around Max’s neck, the same glittering jewel that had been stolen from her hours earlier. “And what are you doing with my necklace?”

She made a motion to snatch it back, but Max was too quick for her. She darted out of Kalina’s reach, still keeping her stake pointed clearly in the direction of Stuart.

Stuart, for his part, was gob smacked, rendered silent with shock and amazement. He kept looking at Max – that familiar nose, those familiar eyes, that unmistakable height of her cheekbones – and back to Kalina again, overcome by the resemblance. “Who are you?” he asked, his voice hollow. “What’s going…”

“That’s none of your business, vampire,” Max said. She spat out the word with apparent disdain. “You stay put, or I promise you, this stake will run straight through you.” Max was a tiny woman, even smaller than Kalina, but h bravado made it clear: Max meant business, and even Stuart wasn’t about to call her bluff. “You,” she turned her gaze to Kalina, and Kalina felt Max’s glare fix straight into the depths of her soul. “You’re coming with me.”

Kalina’s heart leaped. She had so longed to meet Max, so longed to track her down, to get answers. But she couldn’t leave now, not when she’d been so close to saving Stuart, to tempting him into drinking the Life’s Blood that could have cured him. She couldn’t leave Stuart the way he was now; controlled by the Dark Knight. It would be like leaving Stuart – the real Stuart, the one she loved – to die.

“I can’t go with you,” she said. “I need to stay with Stuart.” She knew it was risky – that she was just as likely to let Stuart kill her, to risk the wrath of the Dark Knight, as she was to save him. But there was a chance. Kalina had seen the goodness in Stuart’s eyes. She couldn’t let go of that chance, not even if it meant finding out who Max really was. “Who are you?” she asked again. “You can answer me – I’m not a vampire.” She looked back at Max and refracted that steely gaze back onto her, meeting Max’s cold eyes with a penetrating stare of her own.

She thought she saw a small, sardonic smile escape from Max’s lips. “You do realize you were about to be bitten by a vampire, right?” Max said, her voice dripping with irony.

“I do,” said Kalina, simply. She didn’t need to explain herself or Stuart to anyone else.

“Let me guess,” Max rolled her eyes. “This vampire is yours, too?”

Kalina wanted to blush. Not four hours ago, Max had seen her kissing Jaegar in an alleyway, and from the way Max was looking at her, she’d certainly formed an opinion about Kalina’s romantic proclivities. Kalina felt a touch of anger. What right did this woman have to interfere with Kalina’s decisions – to judge her for it? It was hard enough to deal with her feelings for the Greystone brothers and Octavius without some mysterious intruder with Kalina’s own face coming in to complicate the picture.

“As a matter of a fact,” said Kalina, determined to stand her ground. “Yes, he is. They both are.” Out of the corner of her eye, Kalina saw Stuart’s face contort with jealousy.

“And they’re both bad for you,” said Max. “You’re consorting with…dead things, with animals.” Kalina saw Stuart raise a bemused eyebrow.

“They’re dangerous, Kalina. And you need to get out e – away from as many vampires as possible. Do you understand me or not?”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me who you are and what you want with me?” Kalina picked up the lamp that had been sitting on the table next to the couch: a heavy, marble base. Not an ideal weapon, she thought, but useful enough in a pinch.

“I don’t have time to explain everything to you!” Max’s voice broke into exasperation. “They’re coming!”

“Who’s coming?” Kalina insisted.

“The others!” Max strode over to Kalina and, before Kalina had any time to register what was happening, Max had wrested the lamp base from her hand with lightning speed. Kalina gaped as Max seized hold of her wrist in a tight vice grip. Max was preternaturally strong, preternaturally fast. If she wasn’t a vampire, then what was she? “I don’t want to do this to you,” said Max, “but I’m not interested in risking my life in order to hear about your boyfriends. If you don’t come with me easy, I’m going to have to do this the hard way.”

“You can’t take her!” Stuart had stood up, now, and anger was blazing in his eyes. “I won’t let you take Kalina away from me!”

“Stuart, don’t!” Kalina cried, but it was too late. Stuart had clamped his hands down on Max’s arm, twisting it violently – almost enough to break it. “Stuart, wait!”

Max had rounded around to face Stuart, her dark eyes matching Stuart’s gaze – exhibiting no pain, no fear – only a grimace of frustration. “You want to play, vampire?” she whispered. “Let’s play!”

In an instant she had loosen her arm from Stuart’s grip and kicked him squarely in the gut, sending him backwards across the room. Kalina watched in astonishment. Who was this mysterious woman – stronger than any human, if not any vampire, that Kalina had seen? Max had regained control of her stake, lifting it high above Stuart’s chest…

“No!” cried Kalina, but her cry died on her lips. Max had gone through with the swing, sending her stake deep into Stuart’s chest. Stuart coughed, spluttering, blood accumulating at the sides of his mouth. “No…” Kalina whispered again, before bolting into a run across the room. She had to go to Stuart, had to get close, had to feed him Life’s Blood, had to save him…

“Stay back!” Max commanded. “You willnot run to him, girl!”

“Like hell I’m not!” Kalina shouted back, pushing Max aside as she knelt at Stuart’s side, kissing his face. He was still alive, still panting. Kalina felt the wound, confused. Max’s aim had been precise – sending the stake straight into Stuart’s heart. It would have killed any vampire in an instant, transforming his body into dust and ash. But Stuart was still alive although she could feel his life force ebbing away beneath her.

“Kalina!” Stuart whispered, and in his eyes she could see the Stuart that he was once, the gentle Stuart that she had once loved. “I do love you,” he whispered. “Still…” His eyes sloped shut; his body slackened into death. In an instant, he was gone, and the Life’s Blood that had sustained him ceased to flow through his veins. Was it her Life’s Blood, that had allowed Stuart to die this way? He had died as he had always wanted to live – like a human; the human death in exchange for the life that had been denied him.

“Stuart…” Kalina clasped a hand to her mouth, feeling the tears start to gather at her eyes, collecting into viscous drops. “What did you do?” She looked up at Max, who was staring at the body with satisfied triumph. “I loved him…” This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to save him, to let him loose from the bondage of the Dark Knight, of the polluted Life’s Blood. If Max had only waited a few seconds longer, Stuart might have been turned human…

“Why did you do that?”

“To save your life!” Max yanked Kalina’s wrist, dragging her upwards. “If you hadn’t been so stubborn – we need to get out of here! Don’t you hear me?”

“I’m not leaving Stuart here!” Kalina sobbed! “I’m not leaving!”

“You just signed your own death-warrant,” said Max, gritting her teeth. “Don’t you have any idea how stupid you’re being? I came here to save you, you stupid little girl, and instead you’re going to get us both killed.”

But Kalina didn’t hear her. She had wrested herself away from Max’s grasp, instead running over to Stuart to hold his body so tightly, listening at the wound in his chest – covered in his blood, in her own Life’s Blood coursing through him – hoping, praying that she might hear a sign of life in the corpse. “Stuart,” Kalina whispered. “I always loved you, too.” She touched his hair with her fingers, rocking him in her arms. The tears ran down her cheeks and fell on his cold skin.

“Suit yourself,” Max said at ast, her jaw clenched and tight. “But anything that happens now is on you, do you understand me?”

Kalina was lost in her grief, kissing Stuart’s eyelids, whispering promises – apologies in his dead ears. And then she heard the door open.

“Get your stake!” Max tossed her a spare one out of her bag. “You asked for it.” She sighed deeply. “They’re here.”

Chapter 10

Kalina whipped around, but it was too late. Outside the sounds of dogs barking had ceased. There was only silence. The chilling sensation that had just swept into the room, turning her Life’s Blood to ice, was all she needed to know. She recognized the feeling – of being in the presence of pure, unmitigated evil. She could feel her Life’s Blood shiver within her veins. She had felt like this before, once. But then she had been kidnapped, shut up in a torture chamber deep beneath the Seine River. She had hoped to never experience that sensation again.

But here he was. Mal, with his thin-lipped grin and penetrating eyes, had swept into the room, and was looking at Max and Kalina with lascivious glee, flicking his tongue over the contours of his teeth.

Kalina froze. She shot a quick look at Max, who was staring at Mal with palpable hatred, her jaw clenched tight, her stake firm in her hand. As much as she hated Max right now – and the sight of Stuart’s slumped-aside body out of the corner of her eye made her hate Max even more – Max was the closest chance she had to survival. She’d already seen the horrors that Mal was capable of. And she had seen Max fight. The woman was a badass with her attitude, strength, and amazing fighting ability. Kalina now knew what that word meant, and Max was it.

“Now do you understand?” hissed Max through clenched teeth. She too shot a look at Stuart’s body with something like regret.

Kalina could have kicked herself. How could she have been so stupid? She had no way of knowing that Max was a friend, not an enemy. But if she hadn’t been so stubborn, they might have gotten out safely in time. If she hadn’t been so stubborn, Stuart…but she couldn’t think about that right now.

“Well, well, well,” Mal’s voice was eerie and cold, echoing through the drafty rafters of the farmhouse. “Two Life’s Blood carriers – together! Whatever did I do to deserve this? It must be my lucky day, Leonardo!

For a moment, Kalina thought that Mal had gone mad, that he had started talking to himself. Life’s Blood was known to drive vampires crazy, after all. But then she saw the other figure – a shadow with silvery-white hair – standing in the doorway, perched upon the threshold.

“Come in!” Mal gave a high-pitched laugh. “Come on in, Leonardo. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You’re an invited guest – in my house.” His eyes fell on Stuart’s body. “Looks like the old owner doesn’t need it anymore!” He shifted his gaze to Kalina. “Guess he couldn’t handle the Life’s Blood, hmm? So few really do.”

Leonardo stalked in from the cold, the door slamming shut behind him, blood on his hands. The dogs. Stuart’s dogs. He had silenced their barking forever. Kalina gulped. Apparently Leonardo was just as cruel as Mal.

He looked about thirty years old – handsome with cheekbones as high and sharp as mountain ridges and lips full enough to suggest that life had once breathed upon them. Mal had not ruffled Max’s stone-still composure, but at the sight of Leonardo, Kalina saw Max’s very visible intake of breath. Mal was scary enough on his own, but two Life’s Blood vampires were an unbeatable prospect.

“Max!” Leonardo bowed deeply, his voice gentle and chilling with false formality. “I haven’t seen you in…ah – how long has it been?”

“Not long enough,” said Max, spitting out each word with slow-burning contempt. Kalina could see Max’s fingers fumble slightly with the stake she was holding. Did they know each other? Kalina eyes flitted back and forth from Max to Leonardo. Perhaps there was more to Max’s fear than enemy numbers.

“Leonardo,” began Mal. “I want you to meet the other carrier. Her name’s Kalina. Yes, she’s the girl I’ve been telling you about. Quite a beauty, isn’t she? And very clever. Able to put up a fight – or get her men to. She managed to get a team of vampire brothers to protect her. Three brave boys and their maker – following after her like dogs in the hope of getting a taste from her …”

“How dare you!” Kalina shouted, forgetting her fear in her anger.

“Have I struck a nerve?” Mal smiled with pretend astonishment.

Kalina quickly looked down, but she had made it clear: he had. Aaron had died to protect her; Stuart had been killed too. She’d allowed herself to love all three vampire brothers – along with Octavius – and allowed them all to make sacrifices for her, to risk their lives for her.

“What a lucky little girl you are!” said Mal. “If it weren’t for those Greystone brothers, I would have been able to drain you long ago. Is that why you’ve resisted picking one of them for so long, Kalina? Knowing the second you give it up, they won’t want you anymore. They won’t protect you anymore?”

“That’s not true,” Kalina began, but she felt her face grow hot with shame. She knew that she had genuinely loved all the Greystone brothers, in her own way, but she knew too that her inability to choose among them had hurt them all, in turn.

“If you’re not careful, Kalina, I’ll just keep killing them off. And then you won’t even get a choice! Two down – two to go.” Mal laughed again, that high and evil laugh that twisted Kalina’s heart into knots of agony and fear.

“I nearly drained Max a while ago,” said Leonardo, absent-mindedly. His voice was laconic and velvet-smooth. ‘She managed to get away – didn’t you, Max? What a pity. I’ve had to chase her down for an awfully long time. And to think – you made one false step, Max. That vampire you staked had Life’s Blood in him. The second he died, Mal – his maker – sensed him. And we knew where you were. All that hunting, all that running – and you killed that poor girl’s boyfriend for nothing!”

Kalina saw Max’s face go white. Even in her anger, Kalina felt sorry for her. Whatever Max had done, it was in an effort to get away from vampires like Mal and Leonardo – vampires so evil that even the vilest nightmares of her imagination couldn’t touch them.

“I think it’s my lucky day, too, Max,” Leonardo concluded.

Who was this mysterious man? Kalina scanned him quickly, trying to figure him out. He was older than Mal – he had been older when he was turned, yes, but it was more than that. Leonardo had the bearing of a man from an ancient time, an antique land. He was wildly handsome – with that same touch of arrogance she had come to recognize on all vampires: the power to kill in an instant made one smug. Whoever he was, he definitely wanted Max. In his eyes Kalina saw a desire as strong and terrifying as that she had seen in Stuart and Jaegar’s eyes under Life’s Blood: a desire that mixed lust with blood-hunger. She knew how violated she had felt, standing under that gaze, feeling her body turn into prey for another. She knew how Max must be feeling now. She turned and met Max’s gaze – to offer her understanding, offer her forgiveness. Max only gave a brief, grateful nod.

Kalina felt that same sense of kinship, of blood-bondage, that she had felt at the hospital when she had first learned about the girl who shared her blood. But who was she? A cousin? A sister?

“You cannot run from me any longer, Max,” Leonardo said, his silky voice doing little to assuage Kalina’s fear. “I never thought I’d find you here, in this abominable new country, in this leaky farmhouse in this desolate patch of land. I thought you’d be by my side now.”

“You…” growled Max. “And that evil Mal will not take me alive!”

“Oh, well,” said Leonardo airily. “You’ll have to kill yourself, then! And then Mal and I will take her.” He motioned over to Kalina. “We’ll enjoy her, won’t we Mal? Enjoy tasting her Life’s Blood, drinking it down! She doesn’t even have to be a virgin, after all; it’s not like we want to become human…”

“No!” Max shouted, and for the first time, Kalina saw this strange, stoic girl display emotion. “I won’t let you…”

“You wouldn’t enjoy that, then? Seeing what you and Constantine created together, out of love, destroyed – drained? Your only memory of Constantine…this girl. That is why I was glad I was not the one you chose to become human. Poor Constantine…you didn’t even get to spend more than a few days with him before I killed him. Not your cup of tea, my dear? Prefer some other form of entertainment?”

Kalina’s eyes shot wide open. What you and Constantine created out of love. She looked back at Max, who was trembling and who had gone pale, her face as blanched as that of the vampires surrounding them.

“Really, Max,” said Leonardo. “You wouldn’t abandon your daughter, would you?”

Max was silent, her hands shaking against the stake.

“I didn’t think so.”

Chapter 11

Kalina gaped. As she saw Max standing before her, tight-lipped, her eyes downcast, she suddenly began noticing a hundred little details about her, things she had never noticed before. Oh, she had seen the resemblance – there was no doubt about that – but suddenly the little things came flooding in all at once into Kalina’s conscious: the way Max’s eyes darted so distinctively from right to left; the way she cocked her hair a few degrees to the left; the way her nose was slightly rounded at the tip – tiny resemblances, tiny mannerisms. Was this woman Kalina’s mother? And yet – how could she be – when for all intents and purposes, this woman seemed barely older than Kalina herself! Kalina was eighteen; her mother would have to be in her late thirties at the earliest. And yet Max could barely have been twenty-five, aged though she was by the haunted look in her eyes and the gaunt quality of her cheekbones. Was this what Life’s Blood did – stopped the physical aging, leaving in its stead only the psychological scars borne out of many years of running?

“You’re my mother?” Kalina felt her voice tremble as she spoke, trying to swallow down her nervousness. Max was silent, making a tremendous effort to look away, to avoid meeting Kalina’s questioning gaze…

“A mother?” Leonardo shrugged. “That’s perhaps going too far. After all, Max doesn’t seem to have done much mothering to you.” He laughed. “But she gave birth to you, if that’s what you mean. One Life’s Blood carrier giving birth to another. A very lucky event for vampires all round, I should say.”

Kalina looked from Leonardo to her mother and back to Leonardo again. She felt curiously numb, as if she had pressed ice to her soul. She couldn’t taste anything; she couldn’t feel anything. There was only a queer ache – not even a pain – deep in Kalina’s subconscious, gnawing away just beyond the reach of thought. She had too many questions and she had no time to ask any of them. Her mother was alive – her mother had given her up – her mother had chosen to give her up…Her mother had never looked for her, never contacted her, never even loved her.

“I’m going to need you to trust me, Kalina,” said Max, raising her stake. Her voice was calmer than it had been before. Gentler. “When there’s time, I’ll explain.” If there’s time, she did not say, but Kalina knew exactly what she meant. If they let Leonardo and Mal get to them, there would never be a time for answers. And Kalina couldn’t live with that.

“Leonardo’s quite an old vampire!” Max’s voice was thick with mockery as she gave Leonardo a withering stare. But Kalina knew the truth behind the sarcasm. The older a vampire was, the more powerful he was. And Leonardo was very old indeed“I’ll handle him.”

In an instant Max had launched a high-pitch wail – a cry filled with rage. In the seconds that it took Mal and Leonardo to react, looking around for the source of the sound, she had leaped into the air – a single, graceful glide that brought her legs, arrow-straight, down towards Leonardo. Time seemed to slow to a halt as Kalina watched her mother sail across the room, her muscles taut and tense, her stake aimed high. And then in a moment Max had set upon him, and Leonardo’s block was too late. With a sickening crush, Max’s legs came into contact with Leonardo’s kneecaps, and he in turn tumbled down against one of Stuart’s old bookshelves, bringing down with him a host of dusty volumes that clattered and clanged across the room.

“Stand back!” Kalina yelled at Mal, who was crossing the room to fight her. She scrambled out of the way, keeping her gaze on her mother, who had now sprung up to her feet and had raised her stake high above Leonardo’s chest, ready to go in for the kill.

Kalina had seen vampires fight – including some of the world’s oldest and most powerful – but she had never seen anything quite like this. Max’s fighting was not just brutal and strong – it was agile, filled with a studied grace that was almost beautiful in its destruction, a ballet of death. Was it the Life’s Blood within her, Kalina wondered, that made it possible, and as she wondered she felt a prickling in her own blood. She knew she had to tap into her strength. She let the Life’s Blood take over, throwing a punch at Mal that landed squarely at his jaw, causing him to tumble back.

“Nice try,” said Mal, with a bloodied grin, and Kalina tensed up, waiting for him to strike again. But in a flash he had turned – attacking not Kalina, but Max.

“Mom!” The words escaped Kalina before she had a chance to think about what they might mean. He had surprised Max from behind, sinking his fangs into her neck before her stake met its intended target. “No!” Kalina felt her brain shut down, the power and grace of her Life’s Blood taking over. She felt herself sail through the air; felt herself gain momentum until, at last, she landed straight and square on Mal’s back. She heard the snapping of vertebrae, and Mal emitted a terrible, agonized roar. It wasn’t as strong as the blow Leonardo had delivered to Max, but it was close enough. Mal loosen his grip on Max, who landed, cat-like, on the floor.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” said Mal, his smile slow and full of anger. “You think you can fight like your mother here? Your blood’s too young, too fresh. Tasty, I’m sure, but not powerful enough to take me on. Although I see you want to try…”

In an instant Leonardo had gained his footing and had grabbed hold of Max, who fought him back in turn – the two of them locked in a death-gip, rolling together on the floor. “Get out!” Max was calling, her voice ragged with fighting, but there was no way to escape. Mal, hulking towards her, was squarely between Kalina and the door.

Before Kalina could scream, Mal had her by the throat, his beefy hands tight around her neck, squeezing harder and harder until Kalina was spluttering and choking, until she could not breathe at all. She dug her nails into Mal’s flesh, drawing blood, but the grip was ineffectual; his hold on her remained strong. “No!” she heard Max calling, as Kalina struggled – her feet dangling in mid-air, useless against Mal’s brute strength, useless against…

Use your Life’s Blood. It was her mother’s voice, but Mal and Leonardo gave no sign of having heard it. It was there, in Kalina’s ears, filling her soul – a telepathic connection stronger than any she’d felt before. Let it use you.

And then her foot collided with Mal’s throat. It was an old cheerleading move – using her feet to push away from his chest and gain momentum as she twisted in his arms – but Kalina’s couldn’t recall haven’t decided to use it. Her body had moved on its own, with its own will, its own desires, and she was only watching – like an outsider, disembodied in space – as her foot came down again and again on Mal’s neck, locked in that same acrobatic death-dance she had seen her mother enact on Leonardo. Mal scrambled upwards; Kalina felt herself somersault out of the way. Mal struck her, but she did not feel it. Her body was not hers any longer; her senses were not her own. She belonged to Life’s Blood; it had taken over completely. It was strange, in a sense – to be prisoner in one’s own body – almost as frightening as it had been to be present in it, present in danger.

And then Mal grabbed her hair, and with a firm, strong yank, he brought Kalina back to him again. At once she was in control, in her own body, and yet utterly helpless against his hold on her. Before Max could protest again, Mal had dragged her outside, into the vineyard. The moon shone icy-cold upon them, and in its milky light Mal looked uglier, more deranged, than ever.

“You’ve gotten to be a much better fighter since I last saw you,” said Mal. “Looks like you’re aging well. I do so hate to nip you in the bud.”

“I’ve had practice,” said Kalina, her voice dry and cracking.

“I bet you have,” said Mal, with a lewd smirk. “Octavius, Aaron, Jaegar, Stuart…I’m sure you had lots of practice.”

Anger flooded Kalina’s system – replacing her numbness, replacing her fear – her griefaving lost Aaron and Stuart, her pain at knowing her mother was still alive, her confusion, her terror that these might be the final few moments of her life, all subsumed in a rage that animated Kalina, thrust her into life. “What’s the matter, Mal?” Kalina gave a hollow laugh, wiping the blood from her cheek. “Just jealous I didn’t practice on you?” It was Mal who had killed Aaron – Mal who had led, however indirectly, to Stuart’s death. And if she was going to go down, she sure as hell planned to take Mal down with her.

Her Life’s Blood took over again, and at once she was rushing at Mal, her stake in hand, getting closer and closer to his heart…

He stopped her just in time, his fingers closing around her wrist. “I could snap this…” he hissed, twisting her arm behind her until she yelped from the pain, dropping her stake. Stupid, she raged inwardly – she shouldn’t have approached him head-on, she should have been faster, and now it was too late…

“Let her go!” A voice boomed out of the darkness, a voice Kalina knew well, had dreamed of so many times in her darkest sleep.

It was Octavius.

Chapter 12

Kalina whirled around, taking advantage of Mal’s momentary shock. For an instant, her joy gave her strength. She forgot the stabbing pain in her right arm where Mal had twisted it, forgot her fear of Mal’s fangs and Leonardo’s stature, forgot her confusion every time she looked at the mysterious girl who was so like her, yet so unlike her, who was or was not her mother. None of that mattered now. He had vanished from her and now he was here again, and Kalina felt her entire body – from the pulsing of her Life’s Blood to the quickening of her breath – react to his presence. She had convinced herself to forget him, convinced herself that she had indeed forgotten him, but now he was here again, and all her old feelings came rushing back to her. How she had loved him – in Rome, in Paris, those glorious weeks when he had treated her like a Renaissance princess or a noblewoman of the Ancient Regime, made her feel that the whole world was coming alive for her – just for her! With Octavius, Kalina wasn’t a scared schoolgirl, a confused eighteen-year-old girl with feelings and stirrings and desires that she couldn’t understand. He had always made her feel strong, feel sure of herself.

“Octavius!” Kalina cried out, loosening herself from Mal’s grasp. She felt that tself had collapsed, that the danger threatening her had stood still. Mal had vanished; Leonardo had vanished – and Kalina was spending eternity locking her gaze into Octavius’ flickering, iridescent eyes.

He looked more beautiful than ever, though – strangely, Kalina thought, for a vampire – he had aged. His customary military gait had turned into a bearing of haggard exhaustion. This was a vampire who had been through battle. She could see it in the tangle of his hair – once so finely kempt, now a mess of long curls. She could see it in the stubble around his chin. She could see it in the scars that now lined his face – the way he walked to minimize the pain of the wounds festering beneath his clothing. Normal human wounds couldn’t hurt a vampire – whatever Octavius had suffered, it had been in combat against other vampires, Mal’s men. His eyes told the story of suffering: battles upon battles all through Europe, chasing after Mal’s lieutenants and second-in-commands, staking them all: losing his friends, too, to his enemies’ stakes.

Octavius gave Kalina a small smile, imperceptible to Mal but just enough for Kalina to feel his love once more fill her, to feel certain that he had loved her, he had been thinking of her – all those months when it seemed that he had forgotten her completely! He had been fighting for her. The familiar rush of passion that Kalina felt when encountering one of Octavius’ sired vampires – the Greystone brothers – was so much stronger now: the difference, Kalina thought, between a shadow and its subject, an echo and the note itself. It was as if what she had loved in Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron existed only as a shadow or an echo of what she loved in Octavius himself: the calling of her blood to his.

“Well!” Mal’s cackling broke the spell, and Kalina was forced back into herself, into her fear and her pain. At least, she heard herself thinking, she’d get to see Octavius one more time, whatever had happened… “Have you come back for another beating, my General?” Mal laughed, and gave a deep bow of mock-respect. “I’m honored that you chose me to be the one to kick you into submission. Just like I kicked your friends into submission back at that villa, eh? Imagine that. All your friends – the entire vampire Consortium – killed because of what you’ve done, because you insisted on protecting that naïve, jejune little…”

“Don’t!” Octavius’ voice was grave and calm, but Kalina could feel his passion shaking beneath the surface, like the rumblings of an earthquake. In his eyes she could see the pain she knew he felt – the loss of his closest friends, friends he had known for centuries, to Mal’s stake and fangs. He had not been there to fight with them. He had not been there to die with them. He had been the last man standing, and instead of dying with his comrades – the honorable thing to do – he had instead chosen to run, to find Kalina, to keep her safe. Kalina knew that he would not have undone it, but he felt responsible for his friends’ deaths, and knew that his love for Kalina was the cause.

“I am not here to fight with you,” said Octavius. “No, Mal, my revnge will have to wait for another time.”

“Octavius!” Leonardo had appeared by now in the garden, dragging Max by her hair. “Another pleasant surprise.” Max was kicking and wailing an unearthly battle-cry, her stiletto heels at last colliding with Leonardo’s shins. He screamed and let her go –just enough time for Max to run to Kalina and push her away from Mal. They stood against the garden wall, staring at the three vampires before them, brandishing their stakes together in a defense they knew was hopeless.

“Don’t move, Leonardo!” Mal commanded. “We’ll deal with the girls in a moment. I want to hear what Octavius has to say. Have you come to make a deal for the girl, boy? Or to beg for her life? I’d love to hear you beg, Octavius – although I wouldn’t be too hopeful if I were you.”

Octavius stiffened. “I have no intention of begging for anything, Malvolio,” he said lightly. Kalina pressed her hand to her mouth, fear quickening her pulse. Octavius was always so brave – so heroic, even now that he was injured, weakened. She wanted to run to him, to put her arms around him and feed him the Life’s Blood she knew would save him, to cut her own wrists open and press the wound between his lips. Only Max’s warning fingers on her shoulder held her back.

“Don’t move,” Max whispered. “Wait until he’s distracted them.”

“I’m going to give you a chance,” said Mal, “at saving your own life. Do you understand me? I’m going to give you a chance to get out of here – no harm done! And I’ll forgive you for that nastiness about you trying to kill me. I’ll keep the girl. I’ll keep her mother. And I won’t come after you. Your lucky day, Octavius – to avoid meeting the fate of your friends.”

“I hope,” Octavius’ voice burst into a roar, filled with pain and rage. “That one day I will die as heroically as my friends. I will never live a coward’s life. And I will never let Kalina suffer. No matter what the costs. I am not the sniveling, squalid sycophant that you once were, Mal, before the Life’s Blood gave you unearned powers. I am not afraid to die; I am not ashamed of my actions.”

Leonardo bared his fangs at Octavius, hissing with anger. “You think you’ll last a second against us?” Leonardo took a step forward, his fangs still dripping with Max’s blood. “I’ve just fed on a Carrier – a moment of blood, no more, but yet more than enough to…”

“Kalina…” Octavius turned towards Kalina, his eyes clouded with worry.

“I’m fine!” Kalina forced the words out. “Not on me – on…”

“Her mother!” Leonardo crowed triumphantly. “Although I am looking forward to tasting the girl, too!”

“Not today,” Octavius said. Before Kalina could take in what was happening, Octavius had vanished, transforming into a shimmering blur moving in a whirlwind directly towards her. She felt the thrust of arms wrapping about her waist, a telepathic voice telling her to grab the other one! Octavius’ voice – and Octavius’ arms, lifting her into the air.

She grabbed hold of Max’s hand, but it was too late. Leonardo had leaped forward, grabbing Max’s waist, dragging her back down to earth, and Kalina, sped on by Octavius, tried desperately to hold onto her mother’s hand.

“Let go!” Max shouted!

“No!” Kalina tried to scream back, but before she could get a better hold, Max had pried Kalina’s fingers from her hand – falling back with a crunch that made Kalina’s blood run cold onto the earth, into the clutches of Leonardo and Mal. Her mother – was it her mother? – had sacrificed herself to save her! “No!” Kalina called at the falling body, but suddenly it had vanished – all of New Haven had vanished – and she and Octavius were hurtling through the skies, over oceans that frothed and raged, as black as the night sky above them, and then she smelled the salt and spray of the sea, the cool night air racing against her skin. Land, sea blurred into white until she felt the ground again, all at once, striking at her knees.

“Ow!” Kalina tumbled to the ground as they stopped short. The stones in the earth seemed to poke and prod at her injuries, and for a moment Kalina felt dizzy – ill – nauseous. “What’s going on?” The world seemed to go blurry again, spinning around her.

“I’m sorry…” Octavius whispered. “Humans aren’t used to vampire speed – it’s going to make you feel a little sick for a while.”

“What?” Kalina had flown with Stuart and even Jaegar before, but never like this…never so fast and so powerful. It was Octavius’ strength that powered the teleportation at such warp speed. Kalina still felt as if she were spinning – colors and stones and shapes whirring all around her. “What’s happening?” She gave a soft moan as she felt her gorge rise.

“We need to get out of here soon,” said Octavius. “Get indoors before the sun rises.”

“Sun rises?” Kalina coughed. “What are you talking about?” Even taking into account the frenzied events of the evening, it couldn’t be later than one in the morning…

“With the time change…” Octavius knelt down beside her, taking her into his arms. Kalina gratefully let him scoop her up, trying to make sense of his words.

“Time change?” And then Kalina looked around. The shapes and colors had begun making sense to her now; they were familiar to her. She had seen this fountain before – with its marble splendor. She had seen the smooth pink facades of the palazzos. She had eaten in these very cafes. The sun was just starting to rise, casting golden and rose-colored shadows all through the square.

This was the Piazza Navona in Rome.

Chapter 13

The sun was creeping down upon them, and so Octavius swiftly led Kalina to a café nestled in the side-streets of Rome, covered in layers of ivy and shaded by awning. “You can have breakfast here,” he said, stroking her cheek. “Then I’ll rush to teleport us back to the villa. But you need some sustenance first.”

Kalina looked around the café – the Bar della Pace – which Octavius had taken her to once before. In decades gone by, he had told her, this was the most celebrated place in Rome, where celebrities and aristocrats went to drink wine and mingle with highly placed vampires, like Octavius. How it seemed to have changed! Last time she was here she had been so happy – dressed in the black velvet and pearls Octavius had purchased for her on Via Condotti, sipping her freshly squeezed orange juice and staring into his eyes. Now the place seemed strange to her – as vaguely familiar as a place known only from a dream. Had she really been there before – had she really been with Octavius before? She stumbled as Octavius led her to her seat, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Her mind was still rattled by the teleportation, and soon – as Octavius held a cup of cappuccino to her lips – images began coming back to her: a savage-eyed woman, Stuart collapsing under the weight of a stake….

“Oh, God!” Kalina jumped up as realization hit her. “She’s still there – Max! My…my mother!”

“Your mother?” Octavius’ eyes crinkled in confusion. “Yes – Mal was saying…but I didn’t understand…”

“Mal said she was my mother and she – she didn’t deny it!” Kalina felt the tears coming, harder and hotter than they had been before. “I don’t know…”

“I can go back,” Octavius whispered. “Try to find them…see what’s happened! I tried to get you out safely – the other woman, too, but I cannot deny you were my priority. If I had stopped to get this…Max…I would have been unable to save you, too.”

“Don’t go back!” Kalina touched Octavius’ shoulder, and she saw him wince where she had come into contact with his wounds. “You’re injured – you need to rest, to recover.” The teleportation, too, had taken a toll on him, and Kalina could see that he looked even more exhausted than before. Kalina wanted to hold him, to wipe away the dark lines on his face, but she could barely hold herself together.

“She is your mother?” Octavius looked at her with questioning eyes, so full of warmth, trying to understand, trying to help her cope with this pain. Kalina could have melted at his kindness. But she didn’t want to remember. She didn’t want to understand – who Max was, why she had staked Stuart. She only wanted to forget, to curl up in the drowning shroud of slumber, to let her mind cloud over with the exhaustion that was now pulling at her bones.

“What happened, Kalina?” Octavius’ voice was soft, but firm. He wasn’t going to let her sleep yet – her safety, the safety of Life’s Blood, was paramount. She needed to deal with what happened.

“Justin…” Kalina mumbled softly. “Jaegar…” What had become of them – what would become of them? If Mal and Leonardo managed to capture and kill Max, which of the people she loved would be next.

“You need to tell me what happened, Kalina!” Octavius put an arm around her – his skin still so cold, but comforting even in its coolness. She let herself cleave to him, wiping her tears on his jacket – feeling for all the world like a silly little girl in the face of the man she loved. She could feel his muscles tight beneath the linen: his strength, his power. He would protect her. He would help her through this. She had to remember. She had to stay awake, stay conscious.

“Stuart captured me…” Kalina’s voice was shaking. “The Life’s Blood – it made him crazy. I thought…I thought I loved him enough that if he drank from me, it would save him. I tried to get him to drink, but he wouldn’t! He wouldn’t! I think he was scared…of what if it didn’t work!”

“Stuart was there?”

Kalina clapped her hand to her mouth! How could she tell Octavius that Stuart was gone? How could she put him through the torture of losing one of the vampires he had made?

“I felt…something,” said Octavius. “At first – that Stuart was in trouble. I am his maker, after all. But when I came and saw nothing…saw only you and Max and the vampires, I thought I had been mistaken; that it was your Life’s Blood, with Stuart’s blood mingled with your own, that was calling me.”

“Max showed up,” said Kalina. “Just as Stuart was about to drink from me – as I was about to save him. She was trying to get me out of there in a hurry – demanding that I go with her. I didn’t know who she was, or what she wanted, so I refused…” Kalina sniffled back tears. “And Stuart tried to stop her – there was a struggle – she had a stake…” Kalina’s tears were flowing in full force now, and she knew there was no use in stopping them. She could see the pain register on Octavius’ face: shock first, followed by spiraling agony. He had lost Aaron; now he had lost Stuart – who had served him for centuries. His closest companions, his beloved offsprings, all dead. Because of Life’s Blood. Because of Kalina. Kalina’s body shook with guilt, pain, and agony as she shared Octavius’ anguish.

“Octavius, I’m sorry,” Kalina whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.” She couldn’t stop herself; she reached out to touch him, caressing the soft part of his face, feeling the rough prickling of his stubble on her fingers. His eyes were closed, and he was leaning on her now, to take away his pain, just as a moment before she was leaning on him. “I know we both cared for…we both loved him.”

“Why did she stake him?” Octavius’ voice was hoarse and ragged. “This woman – your mother – why did she do it?”

“She didn’t know he was good,” Kalina stumbled on her words. “I mean, he wasn’t good – he was dangerous, but I could have saved him! If she’d only given me a chance! But she wanted to save me from any vampire in my path; she thought he was a threat; he was stopping us from escaping. She did it for me!” The now-familiar guilt swept through Kalina like a fever. “And I refused to leave. After she killed Stuart…I wanted to stay with the body; I wouldn’t listen to her! I wouldn’t run with her! And then they came – Leonardo and Mal – with their fangs out, and they told me she was my mother, and she didn’t say anything! If I’d gone with her at the beginning, if I hadn’t resisted, she wouldn’t be…” She couldn’t bear to say it, couldn’t bear the thought that her mother, too… “Stuart wouldn’t be...”

“It’s not your fault,” Octavius�voice was shaking. “You didn’t know who she was; you couldn’t have known!”

His voice, so strong even in its sweetness, called to her, bringing back her old feelings, her old pain. Last time they sat together in this café they had been so happy, so in love. She had been confident that he loved her, then. But then he had left her, refused her offer of love, of her Life’s Blood. He said it was for her safety, but she couldn’t bear the doubt – the idea that he saw her as a silly schoolgirl, an idiot child in love. She caught a glimpse of her tear-stained face, reflected, warped, in the coffee-spoon, and could have kicked herself! How could a vampire as sophisticated, as smooth as Octavius, ever love someone as young and as innocent as Kalina? Someone stupid enough to let Stuart and Max die over her own mistakes? Someone who couldn’t fight or risk her life, as Octavius had done, to avenge those that he loved?

And Stuart was dead. The reality of it, nebulous before, came crashing down into her the moment she had said the words aloud. Stuart, kind, noble Stuart, whom she had tried her best to love, was dead, and he had died for her. And she had been unable to save him. Octavius held her tighter, his grip secure, comforting, somehow. But she couldn’t bear his kindness. She had to know if he still loved her, if he still felt something for her. She had to know…

She broke apart from his embrace and looked into his eyes, her gaze square with his. She could see his pain, his fear, the intensity of his stare speaking to his care for her, his desire…could it be his love, too?

Before Octavius could stop her, Kalina leaned in, touching his lips with hers. She couldn’t breathe; she couldn’t think. Her whole body had been subsumed by her desire for him to kiss her back. The moment she felt his lips upon her, she felt alive – alive at last – her blood meeting its twin, its desired other; she felt fully and utterly like herself: the Kalina she had always meant to be, fulfilling the destiny she was always meant to have. She couldn’t contain her joy.

And then he pulled away, and in an instant the world was gone from her; the shadows in which they sat in the café, hidden away from the windows, seemed to expand and fill the whole horizon with their darkness. She couldn’t bear it – bear the sad, sorry look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Octavius whispered. She could see his reserve, his strength – see how he was struggling so hard not to kiss her back.

And then she kissed him again, harder this time, and more persistent, letting him feel the full force of her desire for him, her love for him. Her fingers ran through his hair, pulling his closer. She wanted him, and she wanted him to know it, to feel it in his blood, feel her Life’s Blood coursing through her veins for him. Only for him.

And she felt him succumb, at last; felt his lips open beneath hers, felt his hands twine together behind her neck, stroking her hair, pulling her closer to him. This was not the passion she had felt with Jaegar, nor the frantic desire for power she had experienced with Stuart. This was measured, controlled – even beautiful in its gentleness. Octavius was kissing her with such reverence – as if she were the most precious thing in the world, and he was in terror of breaking her.

When at last they broke apart, Kalina could see the embarrassment, the fear on Octavius’ face. She could see his love for her, buried beneath regret. He had sworn to give her up – that it was the only way he could protect her – and yet he had broken this promise, succumbed to the temptation she laid before him. “I have to show you something,” he said softly. “I found it at the Supernatural Library in Paris – when I was chasing Mal’s men. We need to go back to the villa. Are you ready to teleport again? Are you able?”

Kalina nodded as Octavius led her towards the door. She wanted to savor the feeling of his hands on hers – a feeling she had longed for during so many lonely months. In an instant they were outside and then rushing through the sky again. Kalina felt a bit less sick than she had on their first voyage; the feeling of speeding through space was less nauseating than it had been. But when they landed at Octavius’ door, pushing quickly through it to avoid the heat of the sun, she was glad to be on her feet again.

“That woman we saw tonight…” said Octavius. “I thought I’d seen her before. But it only just came to me – where…” He led her to his dressing-table, a magnificent piece of carved oakwood, and opened a hidden drawer with a key. The smell of centuries-old must – of books and papers – filled the room. From the drawer Octavius pulled out a photograph, tinted with age, blurry in sepia. “I need to show you this.”

Chapter 14

Octavius’ expression was heavy as he handed her the photograph. What could be so important, Kalina wondered, as she took the sepia-tinted photograph, feeling her hands shake as she brought it up to her face, squinting to make out the figures – nearly indistinguishable from one another.

“It wasn’t the best-preserved photograph,aid Octavius. “It was in a file in the Supernatural Library.”

“Mine?” Kalina looked up. “But we looked through my file, we didn’t find…”

“Not your file,” said Octavius. “The file of your parents. Your…adopted parents.”

Kalina winced. The memory of David and Joan – Mom and Dad – still weighed heavily upon her, and she hated the reminder. As she looked down at the photo, she felt her heart sink. There they were – looking younger, happier than she’d ever seen them, bouncing with a baby in their arms, a baby with the same coloring and features Kalina recognized in herself. They were in a richly decorated courtyard of some palace with distinctly Ottoman features – lush gardens dotted the background, interspersed with intricately carved fountains and the elaborate balconies at the end of the courtyard. Where was it? It could have been Venice, or perhaps Istanbul? Kalina looked closer at the photograph. There she saw another woman – Kalina’s heart sank as she recognized it. Her twin – her double – looking just like her, even here, but somehow different; somehow no younger here than she had appeared to Kalina just hours ago. Max.

“I don’t understand,” said Kalina. “What’s Max doing here – with my parents? They said they found me in an orphanage in Nepal – that they’d never met my mother. But here they are sitting next to her, with me! And I don’t know too much about architecture, Octavius, but this is definitely not Nepal.”

Octavius sighed. “It’s the Hotel Olympus in Selcuk, Turkey. Once a palace for a great and powerful member of the Ottoman dynasty – famous as a refuge for supernatural types in that part of the world. I’ve been there before; I recognized the place immediately. I didn’t understand this woman in the photograph at first – but if you say she’s your mother…”

“But what about the orphanage?” Kalina insisted. It was the one part of her life that she had to hold on to – the one truth that she knew for certain, in this web of deception that had been woven around her life. She had been chosen by her parents, adopted from a Nepalese orphanage; they had loved her – they had chosen her. It had taken away the pain of the loss of her birth mother, thinking that her parents had picked her out, chosen to love her, to take care of her. And now Octavius was asking her to believe something else entirely?

“I’m afraid,” Octavius said quietly, “my dear girl, I don’t think there ever was a Nepalese orphanage.”

“But Justin said!” Kalina couldn’t stop herself. “He’s been there!”

“It’s funny,” said Octavius, “how children learn. It’s not uncommon for a child to hear a story his parents tell – a story that involves him – and then begin to remember it the way he was told to remember it. It’s quite possible that Justin believes that he’s been to such a place without having ever left the United States. He has invented his own memories to explain the discrepancy between what he knows and what he was told.”

“I don’t understand…” Kalina felt her voice faltering. It was all too much; it couldn’t be a lie – not this, too!

“Kalina, my girl,” whispered Octavius. He took her hand and again Kalina could not breathe. “My darling, it seems you’re an interesting case – a paradox.”

“A paradox?” Kalina could feel her heart beating so quickly she almost tasted her pulse in her throat. “Octavius, what are you talking about?” Her voice rose. “What am I?”

“You were conceived, I would imagine, by that woman Max – the Carrier in the photograph. Who your father is – I can’t say; I wouldn’t presume to know…”

“A vampire-turned-human?” Kalina furrowed her brow. “I mean, Carriers are supposed to fall in love with vampires, right? It’s how we’re programmed.”

Octavius held up a finger, silencing her. “I don’t know,” he said at last. “Ordinarily, I would say yes – he would have to be. Vampires can’t bear children, and humans cannot earn the love of a Carrier – at least, that is the general legend. But this hotel, the Hotel Olympus…Kalina, back in the 1980’s, it was a refuge for a certain kind of supernatural. An order called the Bringers of Life who were reputed to use it as a kind of safehouse to hold their meetings. An order devoted to the teachings of that very Chinese doctor whose experiments brought Life’s Blood into being. An order staffed by doctors specializing in blood – like your parents – who would be able to perform experiments, to watch Carriers, to help generate a breed of human beings with vampire blood, strong enough to fight vampires – to save mankind…”

“Like an experiment?” Kalina cried. She thought back to her parents, her real parents, the ones who had raised her – had taken her to the beach in summer, had played with her and bought her lollipops at the annual fair. Could she have just been an experiment to them?

“I doubt that very much,” said Octavius. “Nobody…nobody could know you and fail to love you, Kalina. But your parents may well have been involved in this Order. There were rumors about it, of course, but nothing concrete � certainly, nothing got out that a vampire like me could have gotten hold of, information-wise. And the Hotel Olympus is notoriously well-guarded against vampires…And if your parents were involved in this order, chances are that they were involved in seeking out all the Carriers in the world.”

“More Carriers?”

“They chose you to raise,” said Octavius. “Max couldn’t have raised you – a Carrier herself, she was a direct target. Your parents – David and Joan – could have adopted you. They knew Max. They knew what you were. They knew how to protect you. But I believe there are other Carriers out there, Kalina. The Order was rumored to be involved in tracking them down, in encouraging that Carriers reproduce, in the hopes that Life’s Blood would reappear down the line.”

“Why haven’t I heard this before?” said Kalina. “Where are they? The other Carriers?”

“They would be younger than you are,” said Octavius. “Or else vampires would have sensed them long ago. But it is only when a Carrier turns sixteen that the blood ripens, that it becomes…what it is. We would not be able to smell it before that; indeed, you would never know a Carrier from a normal child. But in recent weeks, I’ve started sensing something in the air – another Carrier, maybe more, coming into her abilities. Carriers who may not know that they are Carriers, who are in danger…”

“And my parents wanted to track them down – to help them understand their abilities?”

“When your parents died, it would seem their work was stalled. But if there are more Carriers out there, Kalina…” Octavius looked down. “It was dangerous. A vampire can smell a Carrier in the air. He becomes obsessed with her blood – inflamed with desire. He must track her down: across cities, states, nations – to find her, to drink her. Each time a Carrier comes to maturity, it is a race to quench that thirst…” She could see Octavius blanch; she could see the memory of his desire for her flicker across her face; she knew that he, too, was remembering the hunger with which he had first pursued her. “But I’m too old for that now, you see,” Octavius added, with a weak smile. He had fallen in love with her – was that it? Kalina looked into his eyes, trying desperately to find an answer in his penetrating stare.

“This whole time,” Kalina said. She felt numb, as if her insides had turned to ice. “They raised me – and I never knew. They died before I turned sixteen. I would never have known. If Aaron hadn’t found me, I’d be dead! Leonardo or Mal would have gotten to me first.”

“I am grateful,” said Octavius, “profoundly grateful that it was Aaron who fund you first. And I know his sacrifice was not in vain.” They both fell silent, thinking of Aaron, of Stuart, of all the ones they had loved and lost because of Mal.

“But the others?” Kalina felt her Life’s Blood prickle at the very mention of them. Were there others out there – like her – teenage girls as confused, as overwhelmed as she was? “How do we find them?”

“Aaron and Stuart,” said Octavius, “were vintners. They had some of the finest noses of any vampire. They were the best trackers in the world, and they were my men. Now…I don’t know. It would be difficult, if we were to seek out the others.”

“They’re just kids!” said Kalina. “Children – sixteen…and what if Mal finds out who they are when they’re younger? Before they start showing signs?” She knew what would happen, and the idea filled her with disgust. “We can’t just let Mal and Leonardo get to them first!”

“Your mother – this Max,” said Octavius. “She could be an asset. She is a powerful fighter – from what you say, from what I’ve seen of her. She is a trained warrior; that much is clear. And with the powers of Life’s Blood – she is perhaps our best bet.”

“If she’s still alive,” said Kalina with a shudder. Where was Max now? Had she been taken prisoner by Leonardo and Mal – or had she been… Kalina didn’t even want to think about it.

“A beautiful woman, this Max,” said Octavius. “I can see where you get your power.” He drew her closer, wrapping his arms around her. “Your strength. It is uncommon for a Carrier to train as a fighter, the way this woman did. Far more normal for a Carrier to find a vampire lover, a vampire protector. But not Max. And not you. Two brave women.” He stroked her cheek, his fingers soft and caressing.

Kalina couldn’t stop herself. He was too close; his scent was too strong. The desire of her blood was overwhelming. Before Octavius could finish, she pulled him towards her, standing on her tiptoes to envelop him in a kiss.

He pulled away, and in the space between them Kalina could feel her heart break. “I’m sorry, Kalina,” Octavius whispered. “But this isn’t the time. Not now.” He straightened his back, and Kalina could see the pain clear upon his face. “You are…a temptation…please – don’t make me choose. Don’t make me hurt you. Not when there is so much at stake.”

Kalina looked down quickly so that Octavius would not see the tears forming in her eyes. “With Aaron and Stuart gone…” she said. “We need to find these Carriers ourselves.” She focused her attention on the photograph. “When Max was around in the hospital – I felt her. I sensed her Life’s Blood. My blood has the power to find other carriers.”

Octavius gave her a slow smile. “Amazing girl,” he whispered. She couldn’t look at him.

“My blood could find these others, too – if they’re out there. These children…they’ll be lost, confused, easy target for vampires like Mal. If I know where to look.” She looked up, filled with steely resolve. “I have to find them.”

Chapter 15

Kalina spent the rest of the morning staring out Octavius’ window, leaning her arms along the balcony. Octavius had slowly grown haggard, grown exhausted with the combinations of his wounds and the punishing sun, and he had slipped away alone into his bedchamber to sleep away the day. He had not, Kalina reflected, asked her to go with him. She felt a pang when he left her, a pang that turned into a dull but persistent ache as the day went along. She was worried, still, about Max, about Justin and Jaegar. She had tried communicating telepathically with Max, but it was no use. Max was either too busy to listen to the voices in her head, or else… She couldn’t bring herself to call Jaegar or Justin. She’d have to, she knew, but to telephone them would render everything solid, everything real. She would have to tell Jaegar that his brother was dead; she would have to tell him that she was at Octavius’ villa – she would have to imagine the pain in his eyes, contorted with jealousy. She couldn’t do it. Not yet. Better that Jaegar wait, worried though he might be, than that she tell him the truth.

The villa was as beautiful as ever, but in Octavius’ absence it soon became stultifying. Kalina wandered from room to room, mentally cataloguing the Old Master paintings hanging in gilded frames, the jade Chinese vases, the vast collection of leather-bound volumes in Octavius’ library. She felt like a caged lioness, roaming in circles, trying to distract herself from her fear and loneliness by running her fingers along the spines of Octavius’ books, or watching the sun grow whiter and more fervent with every hour over the treetops of the Villa Borghese parks. She stared down some of the servants, unsure of how to communicate in anything but the most basic Italian, and with muttering obsequiousness they relented and served her a plate of breads and grapes and cheeses. But Kalina found, for all her hunger, that she could barely force the meal down.

At last sunset came, and then at last Octavius appeared in the doorway. He looked somewhat better for having slept – his hair ws ruffled by sleep, but less tangled than it had been, and his eyes had a stronger shine. He wore a black silk dressing gown that trailed to the floor, opened at the chest where his broad bare chest was exposed; Kalina wanted to rush to him, to trail her fingers across the smooth silk, to bury her face on his smooth muscular chest.

Even now, he looked weak; he was leaning on the doorway for support. Sleep may have refreshed him, but only blood could revive him. She could see the hunger in his eyes, and her own blood called to him. She wanted him to rush towards her, to sink his teeth into her, to feed from her willing veins. “You’re hungry,” she said. Octavius only looked down, trying to disguise the ravenous desire in his eyes. “You need to feed. You’re hurt – it’s the only thing that will heal you.”

“I know!” Octavius’ speech was clipped and short. Kalina felt her face blush magenta.

“I mean – you should drink…” Kalina stammered over the words, her heart fluttering within her chest. “From me!”

“And become a human?” Octavius snapped. “How would I protect you then? With a human dagger, a human pistol?” He stopped, ashamed. “I don’t mean to frighten you, Kalina. It is only…” He sighed. “You present a very great temptation, and I’ll be struck down if I’m not fighting it with every fiber of myself. I cannot – please, Kalina, do not make this any more difficult for me.”

Kalina fell silent. Of course she couldn’t give Octavius her blood. Once, she had been afraid to do it – knowing that it might turn a vampire insane with bloodlust, if she didn’t love deeply enough. And yet now she was afraid for a whole different reason. She had no doubt in her mind that if she fed Octavius, he would become human. He was her love – her true desire. And he was also one of the few vampire protectors she had left.

“I’m sorry,” said Kalina. “I couldn’t…I shouldn’t have…” She knew the rules of Life’s Blood. As long as she remained a virgin, the Life’s Blood would turn her vampire love human. She knew one way to solve her problem – her body ached for it – but she could not bring herself to suggest it. To give into her desire was to give up the possibility of transforming Octavius, of any of the vampires she loved, forever. She would be able to feed Octavius, but she would have to sacrifice her dream of turning him human: one day, when it was safe for both of them; one day, when he finally put down his defenses…when the danger was over.

“We know the consequences,” said Octavius. He paced across the room, his body slumping on each step. Kalina rushed to him, pressing her palms against his chest, keeping him upright.

“You can’t leave the house in this condition,” said Kalina. “And you won’t drink my blood. Is there any Vampire Wine in the house?”

“I – I don’t keep Vampire Wine,” said Octavius, and Kalina felt another flush of desire come over her. No, Octavius didn’t hold back the way Stuart had. “I find donors,” he added. “Willing women.” He looked away. “And sometimes unwilling.”

Kalina looked down, too. It was so easy to forget, when Octavius was with her, that he had once been one of Rome’s most feared vampires – a legendary warrior. A legendary killer. There wasn’t a vampire in the world – even Stuart, whose guilt had so racked him – that hadn’t killed dozens, if not hundreds, of human beings to stay alive. In the days before Vampire Wine, that had been the only option. And even in the days after…it was all too easy to slip up, to give into desire.

“I’ll find you a donor,” Kalina said quickly. “There’s no other way. Where do you usually go to…” She shuddered as she spit out the word. “…hunt?”

Octavius looked ashamed. “You don’t have to do this,” he said. “I don’t want you to see that side of my life.”

“There’s no other way to cure you,” said Kalina. “And it’s not like I can just get Vampire Wine in stores.”

At last, after a long silence, Octavius relented. “Very well,” he said. “There is a bar on Via Veneto I used to frequent in the ‘60s, at the Hotel Morilli. The concierge there – the night shift – he knows me. He’s…like me.”

“A vampire?”

“A well-connected vampire,” said Octavius. “He sets up all the vampires of Rome with donors. Those vampires – few though we may be – who prefer to prey on those willing to feed us. Perhaps it’s not so surprising, is it? In any city with a sizeable population, a subculture of beautiful women who are willing to exchange their blood for cash, and sometimes pleasure. Discreet donors can make quite an…enjoyable living.” He gave a little laugh.

“The Via Veneto.” Kalina remembered the last time in Rome; they had been to a bar there, together. Had he taken her to that bar; had they had drinks next to other women, other donors, on whom Octavius had already fed? Did they think that was what she was, too – a beautiful woman who knew how to keep a secret, willing to trade a few pints of blood for a night of luxury?”

Kalina headed out into the night alone.

She found the concierge at the Hotel Morillio – just as Octavius had promised. He was a vampire – easy for her to spot, now, even at a distance. His eyes were full of lust when she told him what she needed.

“Octavius?” The vampire leered at her. “Sent you to find someone?” He gave a sniff. “When you’re so…tasty?” His English was heavily accented with Italian vowels.

“I’m under his protection,” Kalina stared him down.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t look, does it, cara?” The vampire gave her a wink. “Now there,” he pointed at a beautiful, buxom brunette sitting at the bar, dressed in red velvet. “Does that look like the sort of thing your Octavius would like?”

Kalina swallowed hard.

When she arrived back at the Villa, Camilla – the donor – was giggling, teetering just slightly on her high heels. “I hear Octavius is very charming,” she said. “I have wanted to work for him for a while!”

Kalina didn’t’ say anything as she led Camilla into the drawing-room where Octavius sat, stroking his chin. He looked up as they entered and Kalina saw his eyes fill with desire. For Camilla.

“Signora.” He bowed low and kissed her hand.

Camilla gave another giggle, but was cut off as Octavius sank his fangs immediately into her neck, pulling back her hair with animal intensity. He wanted this; he needed this. He hadn’t fed in too long, and now his desire was insatiable. Kalina watched them, biting her lip. Camilla was writhing in ecstasy, giving soft moans and Octavius pressed his lips against her neck. She would have a true blood-connection with him now, Kalina knew, just as Stuart and Maeve had forged a connection when Maeve had fed him. She remembered how jealous she had felt then, how unsure. The feeling was even worse now. She wanted nothing more than to rush to them, to push Camilla aside and let Octavius suck down her own blood, let him drink from her, feel that connection, that bond, that ecstasy.

Kalina looked away unable to watch Camilla’s face filled with the kind of pleasure Kalina could never experience with Octavius. She tried to tune out Camilla’s moans. She knew in her mind, Octavius was feeding off Camilla. It wasn’t anything else, but stialina could not help feeling jealous. When Octavius had finished, Camilla was pale – blanched by both rapture and exhaustion. She watched him slip her an envelope.

“Not this time,” Camilla winked at him. “This time was for fun only. You will call me again?”

“Perhaps,” Octavius said stiffly as he showed her the door.

A still, painful silence fell over the room.

“Your wounds!” Kalina said brightly, trying to mask the pain she felt. “Look, they’re healing!” She was right. Octavius’ cuts and bruises had begun to vanish, and he looked healthier, stronger. He was able to stand upright now without help; once more he was the athletic, virile man she had first met in California.

“You must be hungry too,” Octavius said, with equal awkwardness. “Please, let my servants make you something. There are fewer around here than there used to be. I’ve been…away so often.”

They sat together on the chaise-lounge until Kalina’s meal came: a sumptuous plate of linguine alla frutti di mare – her favorite dish. She savored it, and watched Octavius’ eyes upon her – savoring her enjoyment of a dish he could no longer taste.

“We didn’t have pasta when I was turned,” said Octavius softly. “It didn’t come to Italy until more than a thousand years after I became a vampire…” His voice was tinged with regret. He looked up to face her. “I have been cruel to you today, Kalina, and I am sorry for that. I am sorry you had to watch me feed, and I am grateful to you for allowing me to do so.”

“Of course!” Kalina breathed. “Look, it’s working – you’re healing – you’re better…”

“I never meant to hurt you, you see.” He allowed his fingers to brush the side of her face; Kalina gave a soft moan as she leaned her cheek into the cup of his hand. “I never meant to make you think…”

“Octavius, I…”

“You’re wondering if I still care for you, is that it? After what’s happened?” He stopped the trail of his fingers at the corner of her mouth, just touching her lips. “I haven’t given you the best impression on that front.”

Kalina could hardly breathe. Was he going to break her heart? She felt frail, vulnerable, powerless. He could choose to destroy her so easily. All he had to say was “no.” “I never forgot about you,” she said.

“And Jaegar?” Octavius arched an eyebrow.

“I care about him,” Kalina stammered, blushing. “I love him – yes. But…it’s not the same. Not like you. My Life’s Blood didn’t even work on him…that’s how I could tell it wasn’t enough…He didn’t even turn human; at least, not more than a couple of weeks at the most.”

Octavius pursed his lips. A look of darkness flitted over his face.

“And that is why you have decided that you clearly do not love him,” he said.

“That – but not just that. No – I know how I feel! And I want to get closer to you. So, so badly. But every time I try…”

“I vanish?” Octavius gave her a sad smile. “Yes, that is the way of things, I suppose. Listen to me, Kalina. You were looking out that window this evening, at the balcony, when I came in.”

“Yes.”

“That view, it was beautiful, no?”

“It was!”

“I’ve seen that view for thousands of years, Kalina. I watched Rome burn. I watched it go up in flames at the time of Nero. I watched the city fall, die, be sacked. I watched as the city built itself up again, in the times of the great Popes. I watched as these very gardens were built by the Borghese family. I thought that I’d experienced everything. Until I met you. I thought it was your Life’s Blood that called to me, that made me want you so badly. My own desire to become human. But then I met you, I got to know you – and it became so much more than that. Much more than that.” He leaned closer to her, and Kalina closed her eyes, opening her mouth.

But he did not kiss her. He merely took her hands, trying in vain to warm them in the chilly night air, and touched her eyes open with the tip of his finger. “I do want it, Kalina. I want to be with you. Not just now, but forever. As a human. I want to grow old with you. I want to have children with you, if yo desire. I want to hold your hand through sunsets after sunsets, wake up every morning with you with the sunlight streaming through our window. I want to show you the world, experience it again with you by my side. I told you I had a bride once, centuries ago. I never got to grow old with her. I want a second chance.”

“Then what’s stopping you!” Kalina pressed. “Why can’t we be together! I know I love you. I tried to forget you – like you told me. I tried to love Stuart, but it wasn’t enough. I tried to love Jaegar – and it was almost enough, almost, but not enough. And you – the one I want. The one I can’t have – it’s killing me!” She heard her voice crack.

Octavius pulled her in close, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “My darling Kalina,” he murmured into her neck. “My love, my light. You don’t know how much I love you. Let me tell you this. I love you enough not to become human for you, enough not to give up my ability to protect you, to take care of you, always. I am the strongest vampire yet living who shuns biting the unwilling, who upholds codes of honor, who can protect you against Leonardo and Mal – and those like them. You think they are the only enemies you will face in your lifetime? No – there are so many vampires crueler, more dangerous than you could have thought possible. And so many Life’s Blood Carriers that need protection. I could not risk becoming human.” He sighed. “And if we were to…consummate our relationship with me still a vampire, I would destroy your chances at turning another love human, a love whom you could genuinely grow old with, who could genuinely give you the happiness you deserve. I know you, Kalina. You’re a Carrier. You could never love a human; but a vampire, unless you turn him, will only bring you pain. I want to spare you that!”

Kalina’s heart sank, even as it could have burst with joy. She did love him – and he loved her! But even now he was rejecting her, even now he was pulling away. He wanted to make this choice to spare her; she could not stand it! Being protected – being saved! She had managed to turn Jaegar back…almost…and she had almost managed to save Stuart! All the Greystone brothers had made such great sacrifices to take care of her. It was time for her to make her own decisions.

Kalina leaned closer to Octavius, her eyes gazing straight into his. Before he could protest, she reached up, twining her fingers through his long, silky hair, and pulled him into her, kissing him with a fury that seemed to surprise Octavius. She was in control now, powerful. She knew he wanted her; she wanted him to want her. She would not be a shy schoolgirl any longer, waiting for him to notice her, waiting for him to want her. It was her turn now.

Chapter 16

Kalina felt her lips interlock with Octavius’; she felt the familiar fire spread through her body, an overwhelming burst of desire and love that sent her reeling. She felt Octavius murmur useless protestation into her lips, and at last she pulled away, keeping her lips close enough for Octavius to feel her breath upon his mouth with every word that she spoke. “Listen to me,” Kalina said, her voice husky and urgent with need. “If you’re not willing to turn human because of me, because you think you need to protect me, then know this. I love you. I love you and I’ve always loved you and I’m not going to sit here, watching that…girl have you, and pretend that I don’t! Do you know how long I’ve waited, Octavius, to touch you again? To see you again? To kiss you again?”

His eyes grew wide, and she could see his steadfast resistance weakening.

“You don’t have to become human – not yet. And we don’t have to…make any decisions right now. But right now, tonight, I want you. And we’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.” She kissed him again, and felt his lips open beneath her own, felt his softness, felt him succumb. For so long, she had allowed him to be in control, to lead the way. But now she knew what she wanted, and she knew that he wanted her, and so he could no longer stop her. She felt his desire for her in his touch, in the way he kissed her – gently at first, and then with such roughness that she nearly cried aloud. She felt him pick her up with his newly restored strength and carry her across the drawing room, up the marble staircase, his lips still tight and strong on hers. She felt him set her down upon the bed – felt the satin against her skin – and then they were both fumbling with their buttons, their clothing.

“You’re making it very hard to resist,” Octavius whispered to her, his voice hoarse and hurried.

“I know!” She felt it too, the desire to go further, to give herself to him completely. Even now she had to hold back, to be careful. Neither of them wanted to make irrevocable choices. But their desire for each other was so strong that it obliterated reason, obliterated thought. There was only the calling of their bodies, intertwined beneath the satin sheets – his so cold, but gradually warmed by the force of her touch. She remembered Camilla’s face – a picture of ecstasy – and wondered if this, this is what Camilla had felt, the true connection with Octavius’ life-force, with his power. She gave herself over to the sensation of his hands upon her, his mouth upon her, and then in the blankness – sublimated and complete – of her pleasure she found herself at last, panting, exhausted, settling once more into sleep.

A voice awakened Kalina from her dreamlessness. It wasn’t Octavius’ voice, but it was familiar, tugging at her heart as she opened her eyes.

Kalina! It was Jaegar’s voice, filled with pain and worry. You’re alive! She looked around the room, remembering where she was. Octavius’ arms were wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him. Does Stuart have you? Are you okay? I’ve been trying to contact you for hours…

Is Justin with you? Her first thought was for her brother. She had worried enough about him. She could only imagine what Jaegar would feel upon discovering that his brother was gone forever.

He’s safe. Kalina took a deep breath.

No, I’m not with Stuart.

She could see Jaegar, now – clearly enough in her mind’s eye. He was pacing along the corridors of the inn she had shared with Justin in New Haven.

Where are you?

Stuart…Kalina began. He found me – after you left for Max. Jaegar, I’m sorry…he’s dead.

She could feel Jaegar’s pain, feel the knot in his heart. She saw Jaegar punch straight into the hotel room wall, his face contorted in despair. She saw him crumple to the ground, as weak – as broken – as a child. For all their rivalry, she knew, his love for his brother was true.

At last Jaegar sat up, his face calmer now, more composed. I understand. His voice was slow now, but Kalina could still hear the pain – excruciating, just barely contained – beneath the soft syllables. It was self-defense, Kalina. You didn’t do anything wrong. He was – the Life’s Blood changed him.

It wasn’t me! Did that make it any better? Kalina wasn’t sure. It was Max. She thought she was saving me – getting me out of there…

The woman from the alley?

Yes. How could she explain what had happened to hi, that her mother had killed his brother? Would he ever look at her the same way again.

She saw Jaegar’s jaw clench tight. Whoever she is, Jaegar said. I’ll kill her. She had no right…no right…

She was trying to save me! Kalina couldn’t believe that she was sticking up for Max, but she felt a strange sense of loyalty to that woman, whoever she was. Stuart’s death still shook her to the core, but she knew – or thought she knew – that Max was acting with good intentions. Stuart – she’s…I mean, she said, I think she’s…my mother.

What? The shock reverberated in Kalina’s brain as she saw Jaegar gape, aghast. Justin, trying to follow along the silent conversation, was looking more confused than ever. Then, Kalina felt a soft caress along the end of her shoulder – a real touch, now, not borne across oceans by telepathy. Octavius’ touch.

“Good morning, my darling.” Octavius was kissing her shoulder, turning her around to face him, and at last kissing her lips. She would have savored this moment with Octavius more than anything in the world, but for Jaegar.

“No!” She tried to push him away before Jaegar saw them, but it was too late. She could see his pain – made worse now by what she knew he could only perceive as her betrayal. He had lost his brother and his love in one night. Kalina felt a pang of guilt. She knew she loved Octavius, but she couldn’t bear to cause Jaegar any more pain right now. Had she been selfish – allowing herself to bury her despair in Octavius’ chest – instead of consoling Jaegar?

“What is it?” Octavius touched her lips lightly. “What’s wrong, darling?”

He saved me. Kalina tried hurriedly to explain. Mal, Leonardo – they came after me and Max. He teleported me out here.

I see. Jaegar’s voice was stiff and cold. Of course, I knew it. That was always how it was. Always how it was, Kalina thought. Jaegar knew – deep down – that she had always loved Octavius. She’d never denied it. But she knew that he’d put it out of his mind, that he’d let himself hope that she loved him, and him only.

Jaegar, let me explain!

But it was too late. The telepathic connection between them had been broken, and Kalina’s mind was plunged into darkness.

“Kalina,” said Octavius again. “What’s happened?”

“Jaegar,” she whispered, and saw Octavius reel before her. “He contacted me – telepathically. I was telling him what happened to Stuart, and he was hurting so badly, and then he saw you – and he got upset…” Kalina’s own eyes were full of tears – a mingling of pain and guilt. “We have to go back,” she sighed. “We have to talk to him, I need to explain…”

“I see,” Octavius’ voice grew cold. “And you’ve just realized that you love him, is that it?”

“What – no!” Kalina’s eyes grew wide. “Octavius, what are you talking about? It’s not like that at all.”

Octavius gave a low laugh. “You see, my dear, why I thought it would have been a bad idea for you to sacrifice your Life’s Blood on me. You’d tire of me – go for someone younger like Jaegar or another vampire, someone whom you one day could perhaps turn.”

Kalina was aghast. Hadn’t she just proved her love to Octavius last night? Did he regret it – was he trying to pick a fight? To get an excuse to run away from her? Her anger flared up. How dare Octavius convince her that he loved her, how dare he fall into her arms, and then hurt her once again! She bit her lip. Would she ever really have him, ever really feel his love? Or would she be constantly struggling to get him to commit to her, get him to settle down by her side. “It’s not like you’re about to let me turn you,” she said.

The words clearly had their stinging effect. Octavius blanched and looked away. “So you’ve decided to love somebody who could, is that it?”

She saw the pain in his face and relented. “I want you, Octavius,” she said softly. “But I can’t have you…what can I do?” She turned away. She didn’t want to fight with him. She just wanted him to understand – how she cared for Jaegar, how she felt guilty for what had happened to Stuart, how much it hurt for her to reject the vampire willing to do anything for her – and be rejected by the one she was willing to do everything for! “I don’t love Jaegar enough,” she said. “He didn’t turn human with my blood. He turned back – something must not have worked. I loved him enough to keep him human, but only temporarily. Do you need any more proof that you’re the one I love?”

Octavius’ eyes narrowed. “Yes,” he said darkly. “I have all the proof I need.” He sighed. “It is clear to me who you truly love.”

“Then you understand.”

“Kalina,” his voice was heavy. “What happened last night was a mistake. An error in judgment on my part. I was a fool, an old fool to think I have a chance with you. And I’m sorry. Please forgive my…indiscretion.”

“Indiscretion?” Kalina couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Is that what you call it?”

“I cannot risk depriving you of your ability to turn your true love – when that time comes. It would not be fair to you, you see.”

“Fair? How can you call this fair?”

“Can’t you see?” Octavius’ voice strained into a shout. “I’m doing this for your sake! Can’t you at least understand that?”

Kalina didn’t say anything.

“Come on,” Octavius said coldly, getting out of bed and hurriedly wrapping himself in his dressing gown. “Let’s get ready. I’ll have to teleport you back.”

He went into the bathroom, leaving Kalina lying in the bed, tangled among the sheets. She felt her skin burn – her Life’s Blood blushing through her cheeks. How had she been so stupid? She’d tried to save Jaegar from pain, and she’d ended up getting both Octavius and Jaegar angry with her. No matter what she tried, no matter which way she turned, there didn’t seem any way to save those she loved from pain.

Perhaps this was her destiny, Kalina thought, to lead to the pain and death of the ones she cared about. This was Life’s Blood. This was her curse.

Chapter 17

Kalina dressed hurriedly and in silence, her stomach turning in knots. She had offended Octavius, she knew, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to apologize completely, to tell hiat she wanted to stay with him and never would see Jaegar again. Jaegar had just lost his brother – she was responsible for it – and while she knew that she loved Octavius, she knew also that her bond with Jaegar was strong, she loved him too, and in his moments of pain his blood called to hers. She needed to be with him again. As a friend, perhaps – or as more, Kalina thought bitterly! After all, it wasn’t as if Octavius would ever give her what she wanted! He loved her – but whenever he got too close, he pulled away, leaving her more heartbroken, more in pain than before. How could she put up with that? At least Jaegar, she knew, had always wanted her, always needed her. He wouldn’t have hesitated for a second if she’d asked him to drink her blood, to become human!

Of course, it hadn’t worked. That was the niggling doubt in Kalina’s mind. It hadn’t worked. She hadn’t turned Jaegar human, not really. He’d turned back. Surely that meant something, didn’t it? She loved him – just not enough. Her blood was proof that he wasn’t her true love, her intended, the one for which her blood was destined. Had he turned human for good, she would tried her hardest to move on without Octavius. Wouldn’t she?

“Come on,” Octavius knocked lightly at the door to his dressing room. “I don’t want to keep your brother and…friend waiting a moment longer.” He was still cool towards her, wary – but not angry, she noted.  Still, she longed for the passion and warmth he had displayed towards her the night before. “I hope teleportation will be easier for you this time around,” he said. “Now that you’ve had practice.”

“I’ll try,” said Kalina, nervous. She wasn’t keen to repeat the stomach-churning experience of the day before.

They walked together out onto the balcony of his villa and Kalina took one last, long look at the streets of Rome spread out at their feet. Would she ever be in the realm of such beauty again? It felt as she bid a silent goodbye to the ruins and the churches and the cobblestones that her heart had been rooted here, as if she had always belonged here; every moment that she spent away from this city of light and magic would be a moment she spent homesick, longing for some intangible thing that could only be found by moonlight on Via Veneto.

“Let’s go,” she whispered, and felt Octavius take her hand. A sudden pain ripped through her chest. Last night his touch had been so much stronger, so much more filled with love. Would it ever be like that again?

*******

The teleportation wasn’t as bad as Kalina had feared it might be. She still felt a bit queasy as they sped over the ocean, rushing through the dawn at vampire speed, but by the time they set foot on the soil of New Haven – just as the sun was coming up over the eastern horizon – Kalina had regained her balancepan>

Octavius set her down on the streets of the New Haven Inn. “Let’s get inside quickly,” he said in a hushed whisper. “I’ve had more than enough sunlight for one day.” Indeed, the daytime teleportation seemed to have weakened him a bit. He would need to feed soon, Kalina thought, not without a pang of jealousy.

They entered the inn just in time to spy Justin sitting in the breakfast room, his plate heaped high with uneaten bacon.

“Kalina!” Justin leaped up as he caught her eye, rushing in to squeeze her tightly in his embrace. “I’m so glad we found you! We were so worried. I mean, I was worried. Jaegar said you were alive, that if you were in trouble or dead he’d feel it, but I didn’t believe him. His vampire senses – he said they weren’t working or something – because it took him days to telepathically connect with you – and I was freaking out…” He stumbled over his words, which spilled out of a broadly smiling mouth. “Ever since he turned back,” Justin sighed. “It’s like he was starting from scratch – some of his abilities haven’t been working properly.”

“It’s not common to find a re-turned vampire,” said Octavius with a wry, dark smile.

Kalina couldn’t help but grin at her mental image of Jaegar and Justin standing side by side. Two of the people she loved most in the world – somehow managing to bond in her absence. She felt reassured, somehow, knowing that Justin and Jaegar had an eye on each other. “I’m fine,” she said, patting Justin on the shoulder. “Octavius managed to get me out of there just in time.”

“Just in time for what?” Justin furrowed his eyebrows.

“Mal showed up,” said Kalina. “With another Life’s Blood vampire – Leonardo. They were going to drain me – me and Max – and then Octavius showed up…”

“We thought Stuart had you!” Justin added. “We wanted to track you down, to get to him…But when we were in the hotel room, this girl turned up – the girl from the hospital. She knocked us unconscious – it was insane! And when we woke up, the files were gone. You know, the medical files I took from the hospital!”

Kalina looked down. How was she going to explain to Justin that her mother, her birth mother, was out there? She’d never thought of Justin as anything less than her brother, biological or not, but she wasn’t sure the idea of another mother running around wouldn’t make him incredibly uncomfortable.

“I only read the first few pages of the file,” said Justin, “But what I read was incredible. When Jaegar said that he’d seen that girl before, we thought maybe she had you, not Stuart. So we decided to split up. I went to the hospital to do some research on the girl, and he tried to track down his brother. And Jaegar just…went. He had like this telepathic moment – I couldn’t figure out what was happening! He told me you were fine, but he was freaking out and just left without a word. But he told me you were alive. So I got to get some sleep, at any rate.” His eyes fell on Octavius. “So, uh, I see you have another friend.”

“Octavius,” Kalina said hurriedly, as Justin stuck out a hand. “I think you’ve met at the beach, back when Jaegar, erm, turned human.” She looked around, making sure the hotel concierge wasn’t listening.

“Excuse me,” said Octavius. “I should give you two some room to reunite.” Justin’s eyes followed Octavius as they retreated.

“That’s Octavius?” Justin gave a laugh. “I feel sorry for your other boyfriends now.”

Kalina couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it to Justin to lighten the mood, and make her whole situation feel like a joke. After the turmoil she’d experienced over the past few hours, it was a relief to make light of the whole thing.

“It’s…complicated,” she said.

“Mom always said a girl shouldn’t settle down until she’s at least thirty,” said Justin. “And that she should play the field before that!”

“I thought she met Dad at twenty-eight?”

Mom. Dad. Words that seemed to take on such a strange meaning after meeting Max last night.

Justin looked over at Octavius’ full 6 foot 7 inch frame. “He’s certainly... large.”

Kalina couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on Octavius’ perfectly molded form. Even at seven in the morning, Octavius was attracting quite a bit of attention from the other hotel guests and the concierge, who were all looking at him with varying degrees of desire. Even Justin, normally so oblivious to these things, noticed quite how Octavius was attracting so much attention. Kalina couldn’t help letting a blush spread over her cheeks as her heart swelled with pride. She had been the one he chose, she thught. She had been the one he wanted, the one to hold him, even if it was just for one night.

“Uh…Kalina?”  Justin’s voice brought her back down to reality. “Earth to Kalina. Still there?”

Kalina turned bright red as she snapped out of it, hoping Justin didn’t see her guilty blush. “Sorry,” she said. “Uh…I was distracted.”

“I’ll bet you were,” Justin laughed.  “No wonder you don’t want to commit to Jaegar just yet.”

Kalina turned even redder. “I can’t believe you just said that,” she laughed.

“My little sister’s all grown up! Let’s see if I can keep track of the number of vampires you’ve gone through…”

“Don’t tease me!” Kalina’s blush was by now the color of a particularly ripe tomato. “It’s hard enough trying to decide.”

“I don’t get it,” said Justin. “Don’t you just feel – well – lucky?”

“I’m attracted to all of them,” she said. “At first, it was just Aaron, Jaegar, and Stuart. I felt a connection with all of them. But Octavius is their maker, Justin! So he’s the reason I have that connection – he’s the source! My truest connection is with him.”

“Well…” Justin looked uncomfortable once his teasing had wandered into the realm of serious discussion. “I’m just glad he brought you home. I was so worried – and once Jaegar and I split up, I was even more freaked out than before.”

“That’s why I’m back, Justin,” said Kalina. “To find Jaegar. He’s really upset – I was the one who had to tell him telepathically. Stuart, well – Stuart was staked. He’s dead.”

Justin’s eyes shot wide open. “Kalina!” He drew her close to his chest, hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea…”

“I haven’t even had time to grieve,” said Kalina. “The second he got staked, another vampire – two – showed up and I had to worry about fighting them off. Octavius showed up and whisked me away in time.”

“Don’t worry about grieving now,” said Justin. “Just focus on fixing yourself. When the time comes, we’ll sit down and talk about it. But for now you’ve been in so much danger; I’m not surprised the shock numbed the pain.” He took her hand. “Remember when Aaron died – the first time, I mean? How sad you were?”

Kalina nodded.

“It won’t be that bad this time, I promise.” He squeezed her hand tightly. “I’m here for you, now. And so is Octavius. And so is Jaegar. We’ll all be your family.”

“But it’s Jaegar I’m worried about!” Kalina pleaded. “He’s all alone. He hasn’t got anyone else. He’s just lost his brother soon after losing his other brother, he loved Aaron so much, and he wouldn’t admit it, but he loved Stuart, too – and Octavius can’t help him. He’s angry enough at Octavius, and both of us. He always knew that it was different between Octavius and me, but he’d never let himself believe it. Never let it hit him. And now it’s hit him really hard, and he feels so betrayed.”

“Your life is never simple, is it, sis?” Justin smiled. “Listen, whichever one of these guys you pick – or two – or three, I support it. As long as they treat you right.”

“And I always use protection, if I needed it, but it’s never gotten that…” Kalina rolled her eyes. Justin had given her this speech so many times that she’d memorized it.

“Kal, I don’t want to know,” Justin said. “I’m just glad it has never gotten that far…”

Kalina and Justin rose and went to find Octavius at the next table. “So,” said Justin, sitting down. “You’re here to find Jaegar, right?”

Kalina saw the envy on Octavius’ face. Served him right, she thought. At least if he was jealous, he’d realize what a fool he was to push her away like that!

“I’ll use my tracking abilities,” said Octavius. “I can always find my progeny, you see. That’s where being thousands of years old comes in handy.”

Kalina couldn’t help but laugh as Justin’s eyes flew open in shock. “Thousands of…” Justin’s voice trailed off. “I mean, Kal, I know you liked older men, but I just thought, you know…college kids.”

“Do you know where he is?” Kalina said quickly to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment.

“I do,” said Octavius. “But I suggest you get your bags first. Is the Yale Tour concluded?”

“Yeah, the program finished the other night,” said Kalina. “We’re headed back to Rutherford until autumn.”

“She’s got to graduate,” Justin beamed proudly.

“How convenient,” said Octavius. “That’s precisely where we’re headed. Jaegar’s at Greystone Winery.”

Chapter 18

They packed Justin’s bag hurriedly. Teleportation had been an option for Kalina, but Octavius made it clear that, given his recent exertions, he doubted he’d be able to teleport both Kalina and Justin. They would have to take a flight – the normal, human way. Kalina didn’t admit it, but she felt rather relieved. She’d already had quite enough of teleportation for a few days, and was looking forward to the peace and quiet of the airplane. It would be time to think, she thought – time to quiet her thoughts and worries before she had to face Jaegar.

She wasn’t yet sure what she’d say to him. She knew that she wanted to caress his brow, kiss his cheek, and tell him how brave Stuart had been in the last moments of his life, how he had died trying to protect her. Cold comfort, she knew, but at least Stuart had died somewhat free of the bonds of Life’s Blood. She wasn’t sure what to do beyond that. She knew she would be drawn to him, be attracted to him, but with the situation so uncertain between her and Octavius, she wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt. She wanted to move on from Octavius, to leave him and his vacillations behind her, but all through the airport and the flight his beauty tormented her.

It was like traveling with a rock star. Women stopped and stared in the departures terminal, in the check-in lines, going through security. From beautiful young ingénues to the elderly clerk at security, every woman who passed them by stopped to gape at Octavius’ finely molded form. Kalina was torn. On the one hand, she beamed with pride, seeing Octavius so desired by the women around her. On the other hand, it filled her with regret. Why had she not been able to keep him – this beautiful man who would never truly be hers? His d his calling, would never permit him to become human, and as his vampire beauty overwhelmed her, she knew also – with painful regret – that this beauty was part of his nature. Of all the vampires she knew, Octavius was the oldest – the most vampiric. He could never give up being a vampire, being strong and powerful and beautiful. Not for her. Not for anyone.

The thought of Octavius remaining young and beautiful while she aged into nothingness gnawed at Kalina all during the flight home. By the time they arrived in Rutherford – provoking another round of amazement at Octavius’ looks by the Californian airport staff – she just wanted to be alone, to run away from Octavius and Jaegar alike and hide away with her thoughts, her feelings and her fears.

“Jaegar’s at the house,” said Octavius. “I can feel it. With Stuart gone, he’s the sole heir, the sole owner of the winery.”

“Still there?” Kalina furrowed her brow. “But it’s been hours – what’s he doing…?”

“He’s still there,” Octavius’ face grew dark. “He’s been…feeding.”

“Vampire Wine?”

“No, the real thing.” Octavius spoke curtly, avoiding Kalina’s gaze. “I can sense it. He’s glutted himself on the blood of young girls – drunken, college revelers most like. He’s drained them…almost too much! I imagine he’s feeling the effects. We vampires may not be able to drink any wine other than the vampiric sort, but drinking the blood of the drunk certainly has a….stultifying effect.”

“Complicated!” Justin gave an awkward laugh.

Poor Justin, Kalina thought. He was being an awfully good sport, trying to keep up with vampire plots and vampire intrigues that seemed to boggle his comprehension. He wasn’t doing a half-bad job, either, even if she doubted he’d ever be handy with a stake.

“I daresay,” said Octavius, as they arrived at Kalina’s house. “He’s not taking the death of his brother in the best of ways.”

Justin began hauling the suitcases upstairs. “Just a second!” he said, as cheerfully as he could muster. “Then we’ll be on our way to the winery.”

When he had disappeared up the staircase, Kalina and Octaviu were left alone together for the first time since Rome. Kalina felt her stomach twist into knots. As much as she tried to push her love for Octavius out of her mind, her anger with his inability to be with her had only succeeded in pushing it back to the lurking recesses of her subconscious – the ache still dull and throbbing throughout her body.

“It’s funny,” Kalina said, trying to sound less awkward than she felt. “how much he really cared. I mean, I know Jaegar did. They always talked like they hated each other – before me they hadn’t spoken in centuries. But when Stuart was killed, Jaegar was so upset…”

Octavius’ face clouded over with pain. “When you’ve known somebody for that long, Kalina – for seven centuries – you can’t help but love them. They become part of you. Losing Stuart, for Jaegar, must have been like losing a part of himself. A fraction of his soul.”

From Octavius’ expression it was clear that it was not just Jaegar who felt that sense of loss.

“I’m sorry,” said Kalina, patting his hand – trying not to gasp at his touch. “I know how much you cared for him, too. You were his maker, after all. You must feel it as bad as we do – this pain.”

Octavius nodded, turning to Kalina. “We have this connection,” he said. “Had. All of us. Me and my progeny – Stuart, Jaegar, Aaron. All three. We are a family, you’re right.” He sighed. “I have been selfish, you see. I’ve let my own grief over Stuart, my…jealousy of Jaegar cloud my love for him. And I do love Jaegar, for he too is a part of myself.”

Kalina had never heard Octavius speak so frankly, so directly about the other vampires.

“There is a whole history with us,” Octavius said. “So long that you, as a human, cannot imagine it – seven centuries before you were even born! Complicated, to be sure. We love each other, in our way, a brotherhood of blood so are we connected. And that is why our feelings for you have caused us – and you, I imagine, so much trouble.”

He gave her a dark smile and squeezed her hand; Kalina couldn’t help but laugh.

“We are blood-bonded, so we all love you. We are blood-bonded, so we all wish for each other’s happiness. But when it comes to you, this love that compels all of us to feel it, we all love selfishly. We all wish to say that you – you belong to this one, this vampire, and no other. And yet we forget our vampire ties. We forget that we must love unselfishly. I love Jaegar, as a brother, as much as I love you. I want to love you selfishly more than anything, but I cannot. And I cannot begrudge Jaegar the happiness of your love.”

“But I love you…” Kalina’s voice was trembling.

“You think you do, yes. Perhaps you do. But you also love Jaegar more than you know. How could you not? And I won’t deny that it is a tempting prospect. Giving up everything for you. Everything I have, all that my vampire legacy has brought me – my powers, my riches – in order to live the human life that all vampires, somewhere deep down, truly crave. To live it with you.”

He reached out his hand to touch her cheek – so lightly, so softly, that Kalina couldn’t help but moan softly. She closed her eyes, shutting out the tears. “Then why don’t you?” she whispered. “I can take care of us. I can take care of myself. We both want it….why can’t you? Octavius!”

“I can’t,” said Octavius, “because I love Jaegar. Because I loved Stuart and Aaron. Because I need to honor their memory by serving as the strongest force for honor and good in the world of vampires, a world that so often needs it. If I act selfishly, if I leave that world behind – the world of vampires – then who will clean it up? Who will stop the Life’s Blood children from being mutilated and eaten by vampires like Leonardo and Mal? Who will stop vampires like Mal from killing those like Stuart and Aaron, honorable vampires? I am the last one left of the Consortium. I cannot just walk away.”

Kalina felt her heart break as she watched Octavius look at her with those dark, intense eyes – as wildly beautiful as a thunderstorm. She knew she would always love Octavius, but knew as well that his work would never be done. An eternity of vampires to keep in line, to try to control – vampires that, without Octavius, might be a hundred times more dangerous. She knew logically that she should accept Octavius’ decision, but she felt that her soul would never bear it. He was so beautiful, his features so bold and strong; he was so brave, his courage mingled with his soft sensuality. He was her dream – he was every woman’s dream! How could she find the courage to let him go?

“I don’t begrudge you Jaegar,” Octavius said softly. “I want you to know that. He loves you, and I know you love him too. I don’t want you to suffer, Kalina. I don’t want you to be alone. I want somebody to be able to give you what I cannot. And I want you to be able to give my progeny – my beloved progeny – some happiness as well. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make for you, for Jaegar. Because I love you, Kalina, I am letting you go so you are free to love someone else.”

Kalina’s heart fell. Her mind raged against what Octavius had just told her. It would just take one bite, Kalina raged inwardly, one bite into her neck, and he would become human. It would seal their h their future together. She felt her body ache with longing – longing to surrender itself to him.

Before she could respond, Justin bounded downstairs, interrupting them. She stood up abruptly, her face turning bright pink. Justin, luckily, seemed oblivious. “Suitcases away,” he said. “Do you need a ride to the Winery?”

The lonely gravel road up to the Greystone Winery was one that they had traversed many times before. This was where Kalina had first learned the ways of the vampire with Stuart and Jaegar. This was where Aaron had died – for real – staked by Mal upon the floor. When they arrived at the Winery and opened the oak door with a creak, Kalina felt a familiar chill.

At first the room seemed empty – dark, damp, devoid of any sign of life. And then she saw the shadow in the corner, and as her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room the shadow morphed slowly into the outline of Jaegar. Kalina clapped a hand over her mouth, surprised. This was not the Jaegar she remembered. His beauty was hidden beneath a layer of dirt – his hair was tangled, his face unshaven. His lips were stained with dried blood.

He looked up at her, his eyes glassy and dazed. “Hi, Kal,” he drawled, lifting a slow eyebrow. “So nice of you to come and visit.” His words were slurred.

Kalina felt a pang of affection for him. Even in his dirty, unshaven despair, she still felt the same desire for him, the same love. She wanted to hold him, to take him into her arms and hold him to her breast and comfort him, to take on his pain and bear it herself and spare him from it all.

“How was your trip?” He laughed. “Where were you again? Italy? Did you see St. Peter’s? How about the Coliseum? Did you have a nice vacation?”

“I came as soon as I could!” Kalina’s voice was kind, but firm. “We teleported to New Haven, but when we found Justin he said you’d gone. Octavius couldn’t teleport us both, so we had to fly.” Kalina noticed Jaegar wince at the sound of Octavius’ name.

“Yes,” Jaegar snorted. “My beloved maker. No doubt we share the same blood – he’d be able to track me. Feel what I feel. Want what I want. And I could feel his wants, too.” He rolled his eyes. “I should have asked another to turn me,” he muttered.

“What?” She always thought Jaegar had been turned against his will, all those centuries ago. “What did you say?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all. Just some drunken ramblings of an old fool, sound and fury signifying nothing and all that.” He rose and staggered over to Kalina. “Where is Octavius, anyway?”

“He’s waiting in the car with Justin,” said Kalina. “He wanted to give us some privacy.”

“A fat lot of good that’ll do,” said Jaegar bitterly. “He probably feels it telepathically. He knows everything that goes on, you know. He’s that powerful. Not me, though. Me, I’m losing it. When I turned back human – you know, temporarily – it pressed a reset button on my brain. I’m not the same vampire I was. No, I’m a mess. A loser. I couldn’t even find you when you needed me. I couldn’t track you!” His face contorted with disgust, and he let out a loud sniffle that roared into a sob. “I couldn’t save my own brother!”

She could see the tears in his eyes. She thought once more of Octavius’ words to her back at the house, his kindness. His release. If Octavius was listening in telepathically, she thought, she hoped she wouldn’t hurt him too much. “It’s okay!” She rushed to Jaegar’s side, laying her hands across his shoulders, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, I’m fine. I could protect myself.”

“Stuart!”

“He was strong, Jaegar,” Kalina whispered. “He died a hero. He was trying to protect me. Stuart was so strong – like his old self, but not. Even when he was bad, you could see him fighting, see him struggling. He was fighting against the Dark Knight inside. He fought him to the end, and in the end he didn’t cave in. In the end, Stuart was the Stuart we knew, the Stuart we loved. That Stuart won. Not the Life’s Blood. Not the Dark Knight. Our friend.”

Without realizing what she was doing, Kalina found herself leaning in, touching Jaegar’s lips lightly with her own. All her love, her guilt, her regret seemed to be pouring out of herself, pouring into that kiss, mingling with Jaegar’s pain, his guilt and his loss, too, until they were both themselves together, less alone in their loneliness and in their despair. They were a family. She wouldn’t let him suffer this alone. She couldn’t suffer this alone.

Without a word, Jaegar pulled Kalina closer, kissing her passionately in return, his grip tight and fraught with desire. “I thought I’d never see you again,” he murmured. “I thought I’d lost you – I didn’t know to whom. To Stuart. To Octavius. To Mal! But now you’re here. You’re right here.” He held her more tightly. “Right in front of me, in my arms, my love.” He punctuated each word with a kiss. “Did you know how it felt? Thinking you could be with Stuart? That you might be in danger? That I might lose you? It killed me!”

“Shh…” she whispered, massaging his back with her fingertips. “It’s all right now. I promise.”

“And then Octavius!” Jaegar’s eyes grew wide with agony. “I can’t compete, I know that. He’s my maker. He’ll always be one step ahead of me. Smarter, better, faster, stronger. One step ahead. And you’ll always love him more. And when I saw you two together, in Rome… don’t deny it. I can see it in your face! You want him.”

Kalina turned red. She couldn’t deny that she loved Octavius. But she couldn’t deny that she loved Jaegar too. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t turn you – when you drank my blood. I thought I loved you enough – I did! I felt it!” She broke away from his grip. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t lie to him either. “I’m sorry, Jaegar. I do love you – but I didn’t turn you. I thought I loved you enough. I thought we may have a future together, but then you came back to me with fangs – I thought I’d failed you. It means there is someone else who I may love stronger. I’m so sorry, Jaegar, I’m trying to keep everybody happy – but I’m just so confused myself.”

*******

Jaegar turned away. He knew the truth, after all. He had asked Octavius to turn him back into a vampire, willingly sacrificed the humanity Kalina had given him in order to help protect her. But it was a secret he would have to bear alone. Better for her to think that she wasn’t really in love with him, that her blood had told the secret of her true feelings, than for her to bear the guilt of his turning back, the guilt of his return to this curse for her sake, and hers alone. He knew she loved him enough; he had felt it in her blood. It was the hardest decision he had ever made, but he loved her enough to give up being human for her. But she must never know. She could never know.

Chapter 19

It had been two days of fighting without cease. Even her Life’s Blood, normally so strong – had begun to falter by the end of it. She had managed to stick her stake in Mal and Leonardo two times each, but it wasn’t enough to finish them off. Not with Life’s Blood in their veins. They were too strong to vanish into dust or ash in a single blow, the way mere vampires had done so oen at the end of her stake. She didn’t mind. She was used to this kind of fighting by now. Always the same thing. She would spar with them until her muscles ached and cried out for release and her tongue tasted of acid and blood, and then at last her strength would come surging to the fore and she would stake them through. It took a few thrusts – four or five, sometimes – but she would manage to render them immobile – even if she couldn’t kill them outright. She had managed so far.

But this time was different. Max, who so rarely felt fear, tasted terror in her throat. Dying didn’t frighten her; it never frightened her. She sought out vampires and risked her life precisely because it was not precious to her. She could take risks. She could strike to kill. It was what had always made her so dangerous. But not this time. This time she was fighting for something: her daughter.

She knew what would happen if she let Mal and Leonardo get away. They would track Kalina down, they would drain her, violate her, kill her. She knew it because she had seen it done before – to other Carriers, to other women. And this frightened her. Her own life could be easily risked, tossed out with the trash, but not Kalina’s. Kalina was special. Kalina was different.

Kalina was hers.

She hadn’t meant to think that way. She’d hoped to be able to forget the connection after giving birth. It had been a plan she hoped she’d be able to stick to. She couldn’t think of Kalina as a daughter. No, Kalina was to be the last hope, the best hope of the Bringers of Life. She was the first of the genetically modified children that David and Joan, the order’s leaders, had helped to bring into existence, performing difficult and sometimes painful tests on all the pregnant carriers. She, like the other Carriers to be born after her, would be different from her parents – stronger, better, faster. This was the generation that would finally be able to rise up against vampires, to defeat them, to wipe them off the face of the earth forever.

For that was all Max had ever wanted. Her mother had taught her how to fight when she was a child, just as her mother had taught her. She had been well-versed in the art of combat; it was necessary to protect her, to protect the whole female line. She had been lucky. She had seen less-equipped Carriers drained and broken because they had not learned to protect themselves, or because they had trusted vampires that had eventually turned on them. She wasn’t about to let the same thing happen to her. She knew what they said about Life’s Blood Carriers. That they were always only attracted to vampires, that their destinies were intertwined with that of the vampires they loved. But Max wasn’t about to believe that, to let that belief make her weak. She had almost been fooled once – never again. Vampires were all evil – this she had convinced herself – untrustworthy to man.

She never had an opportunity to teach Kalina the fighting skills she had been taught by her own motherbeen decided that it was too dangerous for her to raise the child on her own. She was a known Carrier – a target for vampires worldwide. Any children she bore would be under suspicion, too. The only way to keep her daughter safe was to give her up – to two people she had hoped would be able to protect her, to teach her what she needed to know about being a Life’s Blood Carrier, to monitor and keep track of Kalina’s progress as a genetically-altered Life’s Blood Carrier.

But she had not anticipated their deaths: the bombing while they were on their quest to locate a Life’s Blood Carrier, that had taken them from Kalina and Justin before Kalina had turned sixteen, before her blood became active. Kalina had been left alone to deal with the ramifications of the potency of her blood, without any guidance or any protection. When the news of their deaths reached Max – some years after the fact, for she had been in hiding and obscurity in the Balkans, the pang she felt was the same she felt upon giving Kalina up for the first time, a love she had tried so hard to bury, to suppress, to forget…

She had fought off Leonardo in Albania, escaping only by sneaking into an Orthodox Monastery late at night, finding sanctuary in the one place in the world she knew vampires could not enter. She had lived in a convent there as a lay visitor for some years, trying to fly under the radar, to avoid detection as she recovered from her last set of injuries.

But now she was out in the world again – facing the same dangers, the same fears. She had injected herself with some genetically-altered Life’s Blood to help her wounds heal faster. That’s what she did each time she fought and sustained wounds. She would inject herself again and again, taking on the look of a junkie with all the needle bruises on her arms. But this time it was different. She was fighting for her daughter.

And she had the ruby necklace.

Leonardo was facing her now, his beautiful countenance contorted into a growl, pulling out the stake she had sent flying into his heart and letting it drop on the floor. Mal was behind him, ready for another round of fighting.

“As lovely as you look, my darling,” Leonardo leered at her. “Playing with you is getting awfully tiring. Perhaps you’d better surrender yourself and call it a night!”

“She is beautiful, isn’t she?” Mal added. “Just like her daughter,” he laughed. “The resemblance really is remarkable. Why, if I squint, I can pretend that you’re that same young girl I had the pleasure of tasting a few months ago! Perhaps you’re just as delicious!”

Max couldn’t help but shudder. The idea of her daughter at Mal’s mercy madwant to vomit. She steadied herself, staring straight at them. They weren’t going to get to her. Not yet.

“I’m tired of playing too,” she said, her voice husky and low. “It’s been fun, but I think your time is up. So why not get on with it?” In a flash she had seized the wooden table of the farmhouse and overturned it, the wood splintering with a sickening crack. In her hands were two of the table’s severed legs – two enormous, sharp, stakes.

They leaped towards her, but as they landed she jumped into the air, executing a pirouette that took her from the tops of the couches to standing in midair – right above their heads. She drove her stake down into Mal’s shoulder, causing blood to flow out of his ears.

“Witch!” Mal yelped as she landed, cat-like on the ground. “You think you can outfight both of us?”

“I’m sure as hell trying,” Max spat back, raising her stakes once more.

“We’re immortal, you silly girl,” said Mal, his blood pouring onto his shirt-sleeves.

“Yes,” a slow, dark smile crept over Max’s face. “About that…” This was the moment – the decisive moment. She’d weakened them; she’d beaten them down. Now she had to risk everything, to go in for the kill.

Before Mal and Leonardo could react, Max rushed towards them at full speed, plunging her stake straight into Leonardo’s chest. Wrapped around the stake, tethered by its silver chain, was the ruby necklace. As the stake hit home, a flash of red sparked from the wound and then, in a single explosive motion, Leonardo crumbled into dust.

Mal stood standing, open-mouthed, gaping at where his friend had been. His face was white with terror.

Max retrieved the stake, holding the ruby stone in the palm of her hand. She fixed her glare on Mal next. “Your turn, Mal,” she whispered. “But before I kill you – is there anything else you’d like to tell me about how much you enjoyed abusing my daughter?”

Mal did not respond. For once, his customary smirk was absent from his face. Before Max could raise her spear, Mal had turned and ran, teleporting into the darkness, as far away as his supernatural speed could carry him.

Chapter 20

The farmhouse was dark now, and quiet. The sounds – grunts, moans, screams of agony, the breaking of furniture – had died down, and now there was only the low croak of toads, the evensong of crickets. There, tangled in the shadows, lay the body of a vampire, slumped and crumpled where it had fallen on the unforgiving stone floor, a stake through his heart.

Movement. The sound of wind rustling through the leaves – and then the soft pounce of footsteps on the floor; a woman’s voice, breathing. He could hear her beside him.

Her hands were on his stake; he felt an agonizing tug in his chest as she pulled it out. He felt the blood pool around the hole it had left in him. His eyes were hazy, but he recognized her immediately. It was Kalina. The dark hair – the soulful eyes – the honey-colored skin. He smelled the Life’s Blood on her, and even in his weakness his body began to feel that same familiar longing.

“Kalina?” his voice was no louder than a whisper, still racked with pain.

“Shhh…” Her voice was calming, warm, smooth. He wanted to close his eyes and lie back in it. She was standing above him, tracing the dagger over the softness of her skin. He realized what she was about to do moments before she did it, and the thought plunged him into ecstasy. She drew the dagger across her wrist – making a small slit, just enough space for a few mesmerizing droplets of blood to appear pooled at her wrist. “Drink this,” came the so-longed-for whisper. “It will heal you.”

Stuart gave a low moan as he seized upon her wrist, his gaze riveted, overwhelmed by her blood. He was weak with hunger, weak with his injuries, but the moment her wrist met his lips, her blood sizzled upon his tongue, he felt whole again: complete. The sensation was unlike anything he had known before. He felt all his power, his passion, his strength come alive within him, burning with the force of ecstasy. He was alive! His vampiric senses were heightened; everything was louder, clearer, more full of sensation. His nerves began shuddering until he thought they might shatter.

And Kalina was still perched above him, her wrist at his lips.

When at last she pulled away he rolled over on the floor, gasping. “Kalina!” he exclaimed. “I’ve missed you so much!” He murmured into her. “I was thinking of you –only of you. Even with that Life�ven ��s Blood in me, I was only ever thinking of you.” He moved towards her, his lips colliding with hers, kissing her, burying his love and pain and newfound pleasure in her mouth.

He had tasted her Life’s Blood, and it brought him strength. The power, surging through his veins, was glorious; it was unbearable in its gloriousness. He picked Kalina up, his lips still fused to hers, and carried her to the couch.

And then it hit him. He was still a vampire. He had drunk from Kalina and it had restored him, it had driven out the poison Mal had infected him with, it had not driven him insane. But it had not made him human. What was it he had just drunk? Suddenly his senses perked up, and he pulled back, baring his fangs.

“You’re not Kalina!” he hissed.

A moonbeam fell across the farmhouse floor, and then he recognized her. It was Max. He remembered the look in her eyes. He remembered the feel of her stake.

“No,” said Max simply. “I’m not.”

“Where is she?” He jumped to his feet. “What have you done with her.”

“She’s safe,” Max said. “A vampire called Octavius – he arrived. He took her from here.”

“Octavius,” Stuart’s relief was mingled with envy. “I see.” His eyes fell upon Max’s slender frame. Who was this mysterious woman – who looked so like Kalina, who had killed him only to bring him back to life. “Why did you save me,” he asked.

“I brought you back to serve me,” Max’s eyes were on him warily, as if she were ready to stake him again at any moment.

“And who am I serving?”

“Life’s Blood,” said Max. “The last true Carrier of Life’s Blood, the final Carrier.”

“What are you talking about?” Stuart furrowed his brow. “Kalina…”

“Kalina’s blood is different,” said Max. “Stronger. In her, Life’s Blood has been genetically altered, modified to be stronger, more effective. She is the first in a new generation of Carriers.”

Stuart’s eyes lit up. “But…I don’t understand. You brought me back. You didn’t turn me human – but you saved me? How could you do that, without loving me? You don’t even know me!”

“My daughter loves you,” said Max. “Perhaps that is enough! My blood no longer has the power to turn vampires human – it’s a bit too late for that – but it can restore vampires yet, even reverse Life’s Blood vampires. When given with love.”

“Your daughter,” Stuart fit the pieces together. “Kalina’s your daughter.”

Max gave him a slow and wistful smile. “Yes,” she said. “She is.”

Stuart opened his mouth and then closed it again, flabbergasted. There was nothing he could say. He had too many questions; there was no way to ask them all at once. He could only stop and stare. At last he sighed and looked up. “What do you want from me?” he asked. He got the impression that Max wasn’t someone who would just resurrect a vampire for kicks. She had given him Life’s Blood, and now he felt a bond with her. He was connected to her – he owed her his life. His blood called out to do her bidding.

“I know of an Aaron Greystone, the vampire with the best nose in the world.”

“My brother,” Stuart grimaced. “He’s dead.”

“I know. There’s nothing I can do about that. But he left behind a brother – a brother whose skills came close – his skill in finding other Life’s Blood Vampires. A brother that was barely hanging on for dear life – I was able to save you just in time. Don’t try to cross me again, I warn you – or I’ll have to stake you a second time. I want you to help me find the other Carriers.”

“The…other Carriers?”

“We’re not the only ones, Kalina and I,” said Max. “That generation – genetically engineered babies, test tube babies conceived with my DNA, with David and Joan’s help – a generation of children with the powers of Life’s Blood ready and waiting to fulfill their potential, raised by humans so they have an appreciation for human life…now scattered everywhere. Kalina is the only one who is my daughter – but they are all connected to me, to Life’s Blood. And soon they will develop maturity, and will become targets.” She fixed her hard and fast aze on Stuart. “They don’t even know that they are Carriers. And we have to find them. You’re going to help me.”

Epilogue

Kalina was leaning back against Jaegar’s chest, letting her head rest beneath his chin. He was stroking her hair, running his marble-white fingers through its long, dark curls. They were together now, together and quiet. The pain of Stuart’s loss, the pain of Octavius’ rejection – none of that seemed to matter anymore. She may not have loved him as she loved Octavius, loved him enough to turn him human, but she cared for him, and in their time of shared loneliness this care was comfort enough for them both. They had at last allowed themselves to cry over Stuart; they had at last allowed themselves to mourn.

The door swung open, and Kalina sprang to her feet as Justin and Octavius burst in, Justin brandishing Kalina’s cell phone.

“Kalina!” Justin cried. “You’ve got to hear this – listen! You left your phone in the car!”

Kalina blushed. She knew that Octavius had released her, had encouraged her to return to Jaegar, but she hated him seeing her in his arms. She hated being reminded of that love that ate away at her heart. If she could only just forget… “What – what is it?”

Jaegar sighed. “Now?” he asked, stroking Kalina’s side with his fingertips. “Can’t it wait?”

“No, it can’t!” Justin’s face crinkled into a smile.

Kalina took the phone. “Hello?” She furrowed her brow. When she heard that familiar voice – so affable, now, so kind! – she froze. She listened. She waited. And then her face broke out into a smile, laughter intermingled with the tears that had formed in her eyes. “Jaegar!” Her voice was breathless, hurried. “Octavius!” She gave another laugh, filled with relief. “It’s Stuart!”

Jaegar started. For a moment, his face was filled with shock. Then, slowly, his surprise morphed into joy. “What?” his face was wary – of disappointment, of getting hurt again.

"0" width="48" align="justify">“I thought he was dead, but he was only injured…” Kalina tried to listen to Stuart’s voice and talk to Jaegar at the same time. “Max saved him. She fed him! They’re – they’re going to Mongolia!”

“I don’t understand…” Jaegar tried to put the pieces together. “She staked him, then she…why would she want Stuart?”

“To find the Life’s Blood children,” said Octavius. “Of course, it all makes sense now.”

“There’s – more of you?” Jaegar looked at Kalina.

Justin sighed. “Not like Kalina,” said Justin. “Max was different. I read her medical file – back at the hospital, when I was doing research. I didn’t think it was important until now. But she wasn’t admitted as a patient.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She was admitted to the morgue,” said Justin. “They found her – she must have been passed out – but they found her without a heartbeat, without a pulse…” He sighed. “When she woke up, they thought they must have made some mistake with their equipment…a clerical error. But now…”

“She’s not even human?” said Jaegar.

“A vampire?” Octavius said. “But she cannot be – she’s a Carrier.”

“What would a vampire want with Life’s Blood children?” Kalina’s heart sank with a sickening thud, as she realized the answer to her own question.

“If she’s a vampire,” said Octavius, “if she is then our only hope is to get to them before she gets to them first.” Octavius looked over at Kalina.

“I’ll help you find them,” she said steadily. “Wherever they are…”

Jaegar looked over at Kalina and Octavius staring at each other, determination on their faces. “I’ll go, too.” He chuckled, the news of Stuart’s resurrection erasing the pain he felt just moments before. “After all, I don’t want to miss out on the fun, too.”

They all looked over at Justin, who felt out-of-place amongst the vampires. “I guess I should pack for Mongolia?”

“Perhaps longer,” Octavius said. “Mongolia is just the beginning…”

*******

PULSE continues in

Blood Bond- Book 5 of PULSE

Blood Bond

(Book 5 of PULSE)

Fall 2011

Join us for the release date and

virtual release party at:

http://kailingow.wordpress.com

Brotherhood of Blood

(a PULSE Novel)

Summer 2011

Brotherhood of Blood is the first book in the Brotherhood of Blood Series About Octavius, The Greystone Brothers, the Vampire Consortium, and Octavius’ army of vampire mercenaries.

Visit and Sign up for New Releases at: http://kailingow.wordpress.com

From Bestselling Author

Kailin Gowont>

the phantom diaries

What happens to the Phantom after the tragedy at the Paris Opera House is the basis for this fantastic tale of The Phantom Diaries, loosely based on Gaston Leroux's classic, The Phantom of the Opera, but with a new tale and a modern twist. This new series for older teens and young adults is told through the eyes of 18 year-old Annette Binoche, who lands a job at the New York Metropolitan Opera House as a seamstress' assistant only to become the lead singer of the Opera House, with the help of the mysterious, yet highly-seductive Phantom.

Excerpt from one of Ms. Gow’s more passionate series

the phantom diaries

kailin gow

Prologue

Annette Binoche stepped out of the cab and had her first taste of a Manhattan sidewalk beneath her feet. Staring up at The New York Metropolitan Opera House, a cool breeze rustled through her long dark hair and tickled her nostrils. This was not the hot and lazy breeze of the bayou back home in New Orleans. It felt different. Smelled different. Even tasted different.

Despite her jeans, warm black sweater and leather jacket the chill in the air squeezed through the collar at the back of her neck, traveled down her spine and left her skin tingling all the way down into her boots.

The excitement of this new adventure added to that tingling sensation. She pushed through the doors of the back entrance of the Opera House and went in search head seamstress. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she glimpse the grand stage through a door left ajar.

Her desire to find the seamstress was overtaken with the need to view the splendid stage she’d long dreamed of. The silly childhood fantasy of singing to a full house had her heart pumping with envy. It was majestic and unending.  The ceiling seemed to go on forever and she couldn’t even see to the back seat of the top balconies.

“Can I help you?”

With a start she turned to the unexpected voice and faced a small elderly gentleman who smiled politely.

“I’m looking for Mrs. Henley. She came down to Louisiana a while back to visit with my mom and liked my abilities as a seamstress and suggested I come up here to work for her.”

The old man’s smile broadened and Annette realized she was rambling, but just couldn’t stop. “I may be only eighteen, but I’ve worked at my mother’s dress shop since I was thirteen and my mother has been a great teacher and even though I lack formal training, I know I can do this…”

“Right through there,” he said as he pointed to his left. “Up the stairs, second floor, third door on your right.  She should just be getting back from her lunch.”

With a tight and nervous nod, she turned on her heel, repeating his directions in her mind over and over again.

Her heels echoed up the steps and the cool chill at her back followed her. She turned to glance behind her and could have sworn her breath frosted in the air. The echo of her steps reverberated in an odd cadence that didn’t quite match the pace of her steps.

Though her body shivered, her hands were clammy and heated. Her fingers reached for the cross hung at her neck. Her index played repeatedly over the rubies that formed a rose pattern at the center of the cross. Her breathing soon returned to normal and she proceeded while remaining cautious and aware of the sensations around her.

“Mrs. Henley?” Annette asked upon reaching the correct door.

A pleasantly plump woman turned and grinned.  “Miss Binoche? Is that you?”

Annette realized her frumpy seamstress clothes back home were a far stretch from her fashionable, meant to impress New York attire.  She’d gone out of her way to assure her clothes didn’t make her stick out like a tourist.

“Don’t really understand why a pretty girl like you wants to come and stick your fingers with pins and needles, but I’m sure happy to have you.”

“I’m happy to see you again, Mrs. Henley, and I look forward to doing my best work for you.” Annette gave her a warm hug and kissed her cheek. “Mother says hello and wants to thank you once again for being so gracious as to allow me this opportunity. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Mrs. Henley waved the compliments and pleasant words aside. “Nonsense, I need a good hard working girl that has the imagination as well as the work ethic you have.  I have one girl who left to get married and three who dumped me once the school year resumed.”

Annette smiled and nodded, pleased to be given such praise and responsibility.

“You’re not going to go off and get married, are you?”

“Heaven’s no.”

“And you’re not going on to college, right?”

At this, Annette hesitated. She had once dreamed of attending a performance art school. Finances had not really allowed such a dream for now, but this was no doubt a step in the right direction. “Not for quite a while, if at all.”

“You know with all that pretty dark hair and soft innocent eyes, New York will eat you up. Just let me know if any of the young men here give you a hard time. Oh, and watch out for Marie, our house diva. She can get a little testy when she’s not the prettiest thing in a room.”

Now Available from

Bestselling Author Kailin Gow

dark memories (the phantom diaries, #2)

The evil presence has permeated every core of Annette Binoche's life, attempting to destroy everything and everyone she holds dear. Can she break free from its hold and regain the trust of her friends and family? Eric is forced to confront his past, while Annette is forced to decide on her future. Will it include Eric, Aaron or Chace? Or no one at all?

Now Available from

Bestselling Author Kailin Gow

Wicked Woods

Briony had to move to Wicked Woods, Massachusetts to live with her Great Aunt Sophie after her family disappears on vacation. The woods at the edge of Aunt Sophie’s inn are filled with secrets and inhabitants both seductive and deadly. Among them is a beautiful boy name Fallon who saves her one night in the woods. As Briony gets closer to Fallon, she learns he has a secret, as do most of the residents of Wicked Woods…

Want to Know More about the PULSE Series, Author Insight, Author Appearance, Contests and Giveaways?

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http://kailingow.wordpress.com

and

on Twitter at:  @kailingow

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The PULSE is BLUE New Release BLUE BLOOD Contest

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for your chance to win 1 SIGNED Nook Color

and 1 Blue Cover for the Nook.

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This is an international contest open until Midnight

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Winner announced May 6, 2011 on http://kailingow.wordpress.com

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