GET Off YOUR ARSE & LOSE WEIGHT
STRAIGHT-TALKING ADVICE ON  HOW TO GET THIN FROM
STEVE MILLER

Copyright © 2007 Steve Miller
The right of Steve Miller to be identified as the Author of
the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First published in 2007 by
HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
3
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may
only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means,

with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic

production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright

Licensing Agency.
Every eflbrt has been made to fulfil requirements with regard to reproducing
copyright material. The author and publisher will be glad to rectify any omissions

at the earliest opportunity
Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 07553 1765 3

Typeset in Bell MT by Ben Cracknell Studios
Printed and bound in Great Britain by MacKays
Headline's policy is to use papers that are natural, renewable and recyclable
products and made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The logging

and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental

regulations of the country of origin.
HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
An Hachette Livre UK Company

338 Euston Road

London NW I 3BH
Acknowledgements

Amy and Ryan, my special niece and nephew, for lighting up my 
life; my mum and dad for providing a superb grounding in my life; 
Matt Rowlands, my agent, who has the patience of a saint; Eddie 
Bell for his fabulous support; Jean Wilde for fun, friendship and 
practical guidance; Brenda Colebourne - a stunning Life Bitch role 
model; Jacquie Pond for believing in me all the way along; Maggi 
Reilly for proving that even with a large family anything is possible 
with the Life Bitch; Alan Possart for his patience, love and support; 
Terry Brookes, my P.A. and soul mate; Debbie Fisher for the belly 
laughs and sparkly friendship we share; Jo Roberts-Miller for being 
such a quality publisher; Lindsey Gibson for her invigorating focus; 
my friends, clients and pets.
www.headline.co.uk

Preface
Why I'm the Life Bitch (not a Tamworth pig)
Despite what you might think, especially when you've finished the 
book, I wasn't born a Life Bitch; it's something that's grown from 
within me. Unlike your expanding waistline, this is something 
I'm proud of, that's been in my head for years, that I have planned 
and nurtured.
I was born in a`working-class' village called Kingsbury, near 
Tamworth in Warwickshire, but there's no Tamworth pig in me 
and I'll tell you why.
On the council estate where I grew up, people worked very 
hard, knowing that every penny counted, and we all understood 
that you did a hard day's work for a reasonable day's pay. It wasn't 
that long ago, but things have changed in our world and in my 
opinion not for the better. I'm not looking at `my' world through

rose-tinted glasses; I'm telling you why there weren't so many 
chubby folks and why people didn't come up with excuses - they 
just got on with making the best of their lives.
In our concrete council house there was my mum, dad, sister 
and me. Dad worked as an operative at an oil depot and Mum did 
cleaning jobs. They are both grafters and are only just coming 
up for retirement. They taught me to be ambitious and one of my 
core Life Bitch principles: you get out of life what you put in. This 
is a home truth that I hold dear to my heart and it is what drives 
me, in a very personal sense, on my Life Bitch crusade.
The biggest single influence on me when I was growing up 
was my mum, and it was from her that I got the values I cherish. 
When we were unsure of ourselves or messing around she would 
say, 'Don't faff about - just do it,' or `Just get to the point.' You 
could say my mum's the original Life Bitch because she made me 
appreciate that an honest, no-nonsense attitude achieves results.
I've never forgotten the environment in which Mum's sound 
advice was given. The community had a real sense of unity, 
especially at Christmas, when we would be in and out of each 
other's houses, sharing hospitality. I grew up appreciating that 
the turkey on Christmas Day was a luxury and that my folks had 
worked hard to provide it. We saw things like a colour television 
as a massive treat. Things like this just weren't taken for granted, 
and we were grateful for the small things in life.
I learnt a lot from Mum, some of which comes into the book, 
particularly practical advice for weight control. For example, she
used to say, `Stop making silly excuses. If you want to lose weight, 
keep your trap shut.' Her view, and mine, is very much about 
using your common sense and not stuffing your face with food or 
resorting to fad diets and pills.
As I look back on the common-sense attitudes I grew up with, 
they are still incredibly relevant now because we have a society 
that is cushioned and pampered, where we skirt around the truth 
that fat people are fat because they are lazy and choose to be fat 
by eating too much.
So you will have gathered that I strongly believe that nowadays 
it is too easy for people to get fat and stay fat. When I was a kid, it 
was a huge luxury just to have a packet of chocolate biscuits in the 
cupboard, things like takeaways didn't exist and it was very rare 
that we went out for meals. These days, chocolate, crisps, fizzy 
drinks, pizzas, alcopops, ready-meals and all the other processed 
shit that you eat and drink are cheap, easy and everywhere. But, 
hold your horses there! Don't you dare use the cheapness and 
availability of processed food as an excuse for you being fat! It's 
you who is stuffing the cakes etc. down your throat, you who won't 
buy cheap, fresh, healthy food, and you who won't shift your lardy 
arse off the couch!
My mum and dad worked longer hours than most to guarantee 
we had enough money to buy decent food. The real issue for me 
is that they still found the time to prepare the food from scratch, 
make sure we ate as a family and provide a balanced diet. My 
parents inspired me and my siblings to take responsibility for our

own eating habits and to maintain an ideal weight. Don't give me 
that work/life balance claptrap; it doesn't wash with me. How 
come my mum and dad could provide a stable home life, go out to 
work every day, putting in all those extra hours, and still provide 
good, natural, nutritious food for the family? The answer is simple: 
they made the time because they knew it was very important for 
our health and well-being.
The obvious truth is that people are now being conditioned 
to be lazy. Children learn to walk and then quickly learn to sit 
down in front of a computer or television for hours on end. Adults 
are too lazy to walk to the shops, and sometimes can't even be 
bothered to drive to them; instead they order from the internet 
and get the processed food and booze delivered to their doors.
I truly believe that people need to look in the mirror, give 
themselves a talking to and start to reverse the negative impact 
of our present society on weight issues. They have to make simple 
lifestyle changes and stop expecting the state to wrap them in 
cotton wool and make excuses for them. They need to learn about 
sensible eating and exercise. Our ancestors would fall about 
laughing at the state of us today, with some fat people moaning 
that the government isn't doing anything to help them. Just 30 
or 40 years ago, people would never have got into the situation 
where they relied on junk food and cheap booze to keep them 
going.
As well as giving me my no-nonsense attitude and common 
sense when it comes to lifestyle and weight, my mum and dad
planted the seeds in my mind that would drive my professional 
ambition and success.
I left school with few noteworthy qualifications, but realised from 
my parents' pep-talks that getting good exam results (and therefore 
making my own luck) would help me to develop a successful career. 
I knew they were right and so I went to college to take some exams 
and I thrived in that learning environment, where I was treated 
more like an adult. This motivated me to go on to Huddersfield 
Poly, where I gained a qualification in business, paving the way for 
a successful career in sales and marketing (the only time I ignored 
parental advice - they wanted me to go into insurance).
From a sales environment I went into the world of human 
resources (HR) and training. For some reason, I thought the right 
approach in HR was a`touchy-feely' one, but how wrong I was. 
What I later found worked was honest, practical common sense, 
and that was another step up to becoming the Life Bitch I am 
now. That's why I hold business gods such as Sir Alan Sugar in 
the highest regard. They say it as it is, they expect results and get 
results. Believe me, our workplaces are not the right environments 
for tea and sympathy.
Looking at what motivated me to reach the top in my profession, 
I recognised I had a talent and flair for communication (I was a 
Butlins Redcoat for a while). But, at the same time, the breakdown 
and ending of a relationship that I really valued knocked my 
confidence to a degree that I started to suffer from panic attacks. 
I'd read about the benefits of clinical hypnosis in dealing with panic

attacks and boosting self-confidence and decided to try it. Not only 
was clinical hypnosis my cure, it was my inspiration. It worked so 
well that I decided I had to pay for training to learn its techniques, 
which I could then pass on to other people. Quite simply, this was 
the best personal and professional training I have ever had.
I used self-hypnosis to affirm that I was a great, worthy 
product. It allowed me to recognise that the things we get from 
life, positive and negative, come from our own thoughts. The end 
result was that I became a senior business leader and had the 
confidence to go on to set up my own training business in 2003.
I started off running Steve Miller Training from my front 
room, and at first I suffered knockback after knockback, but my 
determination and self-belief were rock solid. I wasn't going to 
work for anyone else again.
I now run a highly successful training and development 
company and my personal clinical hypnosis practice has grown 
quickly. People responded to my direct style. I gave them a kick 
up the bum and demonstrated that they held the power to achieve 
their life goals. That's when the Life Bitch as you will come to 
know him was born.
I decided to write the Life Bitch on weight loss because, pardon 
the pun, it's a huge problem and being fat is something I dealt 
with myself. When I started my business I piled on extra pounds 
by drinking too much and stuffing myself - I was greedy. There 
were no excuses; it wasn't the anxiety of launching a business, 
it was my lack of self-control. I was fat for about two years and
had a wardrobe full of clothes that I couldn't fit into. It got to the
point where one day I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror
and said to myself, `Stop whinging. You don't need to diet. Use 
your common sense, use hypnosis to programme your mind, as 
you do with your clients. Get off your fat backside and do it.' And 
from that day on those thoughts became part of the Life Bitch. 
The Life Bitch thrives on a diet of common sense.
Plant the seeds of success in your mind, and don't give up. It 
might sound trite and obvious, but losing weight and becoming a 
Life Bitch is down to you and no one else. If you're still whining, 
put this book down and don't pick it up again till you're ready to
make a commitment.


Bitching the fat
Now you understand that the Life Bitch comes from my disgust 
and impatience at society being protective of fat, lazy people, and 
that being a Life Bitch is just part of my character. Right now, you
too can start to be a Life Bitch.

I'm tired of all the crap excuses that fat people come up with for 
being overweight. I'm also pig-sick of all those - the diet industry, 
the politically correct, your friends and relatives - who say, `It's 
not your fault you are obese.' That's rubbish. Don't listen to them 
anymore, just get off your fat arse and take responsibility for this 
problem yourself.
You will have heard about life coaches, personal trainers, lifestyle 
gurus. Maybe you've consulted them to help you plan your future 
and achieve your goals - to be the best you, the fittest you, the 
healthiest you. But if you're reading this book, then the chances are 
they haven't worked and you've had enough of being fat.
I prefer not to resort to euphemisms for fat: large, big-boned, big 
and beautiful, chubby, curvy. I like to call a lardarse a lardarse. Is that 
too cruel? I don't think so. I know that our society has made it too 
easy for overweight people to continue sitting on their fat backsides 
getting fatter. There are too many ready excuses and I believe that 
this touchy-feely approach on the part of people who `empathise' 
with the obese is unfair on those with weight problems.
My book is for those people who want to lose weight. It's hard-
hitting, straight-talking and to the point. It's certainly not for the 
faint-hearted, and while it's designed to help those flabby in body, 
it's not for the flabby-minded. So if you think that you will never lose 
weight, then you probably never will. To continue with the Life Bitch 
and be a successful slimmer with me you have to believe in yourself:
Believe me when I say that I'm on your side. Doing exactly what 
I ask you to do will help you slim down, get trim and, more than 
that, it will help you get what you want. Because, let's face it, fat 
people are often prejudged so they often don't get what they want 
out of life. Many people assume fat folks are lazy, undisciplined 
and don't create the right image. I certainly agree that they don't
create the right image.
It really is in your power to do something about it, especially 
with the help of your Life Bitch. Get it into your head now that
you can and are going to lose weight and join me on the Life Bitch 
programme.
Life Bitch
Get Off Your Arse and Lose Weight
Doing what I Suggest in this book will move You orward in Your 
quest Iror the body bcavtiirvl, but bei~:'orc You take the ic'irst 
Steps, l ask You to see your doctor and get a health chec4 to 
~'incd out what your ideal weight range is and also to ensure that 
You have no unQcrlYing mcdiGa/ Conditions. 1jr You haVC no medical 
Condition that Can prevent You i~'rom losing weight, then take on 
board what You read here. You have no exCuse not to.
you already know this. You know you need to eat healthy food 
and exercise appropriately to control your weight. That's why, in 
this book, it will be rare for me to refer to specific diets or rigid 
exercise regimes. I will mention food and exercise only in respect 
to common sense and conditioning your mind so that you will 
automatically eat healthily and exercise.
I know that there will be two types of reader of my book:

1 The 'flickers'. Those who simply flick through the pages and 
do nothing with my advice and so stay the losers they are.

2 The 'digesters'. These are the winners. They accept what 
I advise, digest the ideas (rather than too much food) and 
then follow through with positive action.


Are you still with me? Are you willing to give it a go? Then a 
word concerning diets before we start. The `D' word is for people 
who are like big fat hamsters on a wheel. They are constantly 
grabbing at the next D', hoping it will fulfil their weight-loss 
dream. Personally, I never bother with a diet, as we often put 
the weight we have lost back on. What I suggest is a lifestyle 
change, a change which incorporates exciting, healthy eating.

Fat in the frame
Why are we becoming fatties?
I often hear the complaint that no weight-loss plan really works. 
But none of us can ignore the obesity problem anymore; it's all 
over the media, from the very young children whose health is 
being put at risk to the grossly overweight adults who complain 
that no one will help them.
It's happening on a much larger scale than ever before because 
of the reasons we've already touched on. There are loads of excuses 
you can give for not being slim and healthy - cheap processed food 
always leaving you wanting more, using booze to prop up your 
emotions, lifestyles that leave no time to prepare proper food and 
the all-too-common attitude that life owes you something from 
the go - and these excuses are often blown way out of proportion 
by the media.

There are more fatties around now because people are not coping
with life's pressures and are mistakenly stuffing themselves
stupid and guzzling alcohol to feel some positive emotion. The
secret to getting slim and being healthy is to take small steps to
regain control and to start a lifestyle change. Now is the time to
be thinking'slimline'.

Is it okay to be fat?

It's okay to be fat as long as you remember that you're not going
to live as long as your slim and healthy friends and relatives. It's
okay to be fat unless you want to be able to lead a full, active life
and play with your children and grandchildren.

It's okay to be fat, but remember it's the slim and healthy
people who pay for your treatment when your health fails. Why
should we pay for your lack of self-control?

But really, though, you know it's not okay to be fat when every
time you look in the mirror someone you vaguely remember as
being you when you were slim says, 'Let me out, you fat  fuck
I've had enough.' Listen to your inner voice.

AS a role model who admits her mistakes and as a person who has
•taken control of her issues with food and weight control, Sharon
Osbourne -takes a lot of beating. Shes admitted -that her weight has
yo-Yoed in -the past and -to the lure -that Junk food has had over her,
She says -that fat as something she cultivated while she worked for
her father and had -to do business With people who Were older and
•tougher -than her, She handled this by being big, loud and a bit of a
bitch,

Sharon resorted to surgery some years ago to insert a gastric
band which helped her to shed 1^5 pounds, but shes gone on to realise
that weight gain and weight loss are down to her mind alone. This is what
she said it's something that We all need to learn to do, rather than try
to rely on surgery, pills, shakes, and so on. I'm not Condemning surgery
as a last resort, but i know too many people who have had issues, be
they medical or psychological, after having surgery.

As a life bitch lesson, Sharons Journey shows that no matter
who You are and what you've been through, there are no excuses for
being fat, yes, Sharon paid for her surgery and. Yes, the same op is
available to some on the NHS, but the fact is she, like me, has realised
that the mind is mightier than the blade, you might have tried a quick"
slimming solution Yourself, and I bet You now know that weight loss
through these methods is either an illusion or a temporary fix. What
You need to do to become a Life Bitch is draw on the power of Your
mind to Control Your cravings and emotions. The day You acknowledge,
as Sharon did,that it's Your responsibility to lose Weight in a sensible
way is the day the life Bitch in You is born.

Why you've got to be a role model

This is a no-brainer for me, and it should be for you. Why have
we got pre-adolescent kids who are reaching body weights that
are off the scales? I'll tell you why: because you and thousands
like you are not being role models to them. If your children are
overweight, and do not have legitimate medical problems, then
it's a disgrace. A normal child who eats a balanced diet and plays
and exercises should not be in that position. Not only are you
handing them a poisoned chalice in terms of their health, but
you are passing on all your unhealthy attitudes towards food and
opening them up to emotional problems, such as the increased
chance of being bullied at school. Shame on you.

It's so important that you get it in your head right now that
you must and will be a weight-loss role model for yourself, your
friends and children.

No faking it

There are quick-fix solutions to appearing slimmer out there,
ranging from diet pills and fat pants to even more drastic
measures such as cosmetic surgery. Well forget them; you are not
going to need them because they are for the weak and the lazy and
they are short-term solutions.

These solutions don't require an ounce of effort, but usually
cost plenty of money. How very typical of someone living a
sedentary lifestyle to expect other people to do things for them.
You are not going down these paths.

Fat-control pants

Bridget Jones's big pants made everyone laugh in the movie, but
get real - how many people are actually going to be turned on by

fat-control pants that they would expect their mother-in-law to
be wearing? No, you need to be a Life Bitch and get the real deal
by losing weight in a way you can be proud of and have long-term
control over.

Wouldn't you rather be wearing sexy clothes and sexy
underwear and have earned them through your own efforts rather
than cheating? Imagine the feeling of walking into a bar, catching
the eye of someone you find attractive and knowing you are the
complete package, the real thing.

Cosmetic techniques

There has been loads of publicity in the last few years advocating
cosmetic surgery as a means of getting rid of excess fat and
trimming saggy bits. One of the most common techniques is
liposuction, and if that is in your mind, I want it erased.

Let's consider liposuction for a few moments. It is a surgical
procedure designed to remove fat deposits and shape the body. Fat
is removed from under the skin with the use of vacuum-suction or
an ultrasonic probe that breaks the fat into small pieces and then
removes it via suction. If this thought isn't enough to put you off,
then consider that you are risking your health instead of following
a sensible weight-loss programme like the Life Bitch one.

Now, I can of course accept that sometimes, for urgent clinical
reasons, this procedure has to be done to keep someone alive. But
if this is not the case, if someone has surgery simply because they
can't focus their mind and body to lose weight, they are simply
tricking themselves. There is every chance that once the fat has
been sucked out, they will continue with poor lifestyle and eating
habits that will squeeze the fat back in. To think that liposuction
is the answer is a bit naive and lazy, I would say. Do you honestly
believe that when the fat is sucked out you will be able to go back
to your old lifestyle and stay thin? I think not. So come on, pinch
yourself (that should be easy) and get a grip on reality and your

long-term future.

In my opinion taking the cosmetic route to rid yourself of your
lard is a cheat's way out. You are really deluding yourself if you
think that by sticking a knife in to scrape out the fat cells you will
be slim forever. You need to work on the motivation and willpower
techniques that the Life Bitch will instil in you.

If you have got the cheek to think that the NHS should pay
for the treatment, think again. The NHS is busy enough treating
people with legitimate, unavoidable health issues, so why should
they spend time spooning away your fat when it is your own
stupid fault you are the size you are?

Get this into your head right now: stop the visits to the fish and
chip shop, quit eating greasy kebabs, and put an end to stuffing
your gob full of rubbish. The real solution is to take note of the
techniques described in this book to get your life back on track.

You should already know of the dangers of this type of surgery,
such as infection, internal bleeding and other complications which,
although rare, can cause potentially fatal breathing problems due

to fluid in the lungs, severe allergic reactions and damage to the
internal organs. And please don't think it's sensible to do it on the
cheap abroad because you may end up in a world of hurt.


Hippocrates (460-370 Be), the 'Father of Medicine', said, 'The
natural way is the only way.' He believed that the body must
be treated as a whole, not just as individual parts, and that the
root causes of problems must be treated (such as your lack of
motivation and mental strength and the rubbish you're putting in
your mouth) and not just symptoms.

Diet pills and potions

We've all come across adverts for them in the back of magazines
and we are constantly being bombarded with junk emails about the
latest superb diet pills and potions that will miraculously and with
no physical or mental effort cause us to lose weight. What a load of
bull. Very few, if any, of these magic slimming solutions are backed
up by any scientific or medical evidence of note. These drugs claim
to increase metabolic rates or act as appetite suppressants, but they
can have some very alarming side effects if taken in the long term,
ranging from headaches to elevated blood pressure and strokes. One
of these is phentermine, a stimulant similar to an amphetamine,
which was banned from being prescribed, but people have continued
to pay hundreds of pounds for courses of treatment from internet
sites. Some common side effects of this appetite suppressant are
irregular heart rates, headaches and mood swings; if things go
badly wrong, it's hallucinations and seizures.           ,»,





I want you to start thinking about common-sense ways to lose
weight. Use the Life Bitch programme and start with planning
sensible, healthy eating and upping your physical activity. Not
only will this save you money, it could save your life.

The 'D' word

Let me make one thing crystal clear: the Life Bitch is against you
trying slimming 'diets' unless your GP has said you need to follow
a special nutritional plan for medical reasons.

Consider that slimming diets have been around, in one
bewildering form or another, for centuries - from cabbage soup
diets to high-protein plans. The most common outcome, as most
of you will have experienced, is some sudden, dramatic weight
loss, followed by problems sticking to boring regimes and low
energy, and finally a cave-in and a return to your bad habits and
weight gain.

The Life Bitch message is simple and it's all common sense:

you need to eat a balanced, healthy diet that does not overdose on
any particular food group.

Follow the programme in this book and you'll see that you
need to ditch the control pants, dodge the liposuction and keep off
the diet pills. Instead you must:

 Eat as much fresh food - fruit, vegetables and meat - as
possible instead of pre-prepared foods

* Make sure you eat regular meals: breakfast, lunch and a
light dinner


Satisfy cravings with healthy alternatives to high-fat, high-
sugar processed snacks, such as carrot sticks, fruit, nuts
and so on

* Drink plenty of water

Avoid excessive amounts of alcohol

 Be realistic about your short- and long-term slimming
goals

* Balance sensible eating with increased exercise -
walking, climbing the stairs, playing with the kids,
rediscovering sports or dancing

Get off your arse and start looking after yourself!

I know there is a temptation to take short cuts in slimming,
but that's as bad as giving up altogether and scoffing all the
demon foods that have contributed to your saddlebags and
double chin in the first place. Not only can the quick-fix routes
be expensive and often as genuine as the miracle cures peddled
by the snake-oil salesmen of the Wild West, they can be a fatal

mistake for some.

Together with the Life Bitch, you will learn that the good
things in life have to be earned through a little sweat and tears,
but the rewards of doing it for yourself are huge. Come and join
me; I will get you to your ideal target weight through a measured,
results-driven programme that unlocks your barriers to weight
loss.

It's time you took the time-

One of the lamest excuses not to do something about the
way we look is not having enough time.

I was on a train once and overheard a fat lump opposite me
whinging that he couldn't lose weight because he didn't have the
time. As he sat there stuffing his gaping mug with a full fried
breakfast accompanied by a few slices of toast on the side, I couldn't
help passing along a few Life Bitch tips to this poor dumpling.

Unsurprisingly, he countered my offers of assistance and
advice with yet another griping excuse. This time he claimed he
worked 60 hours a week and it was impossible to eat well and to
do any exercise at all. I sat there thinking to myself, 'Yes, I can
well imagine him not even making an effort when "exercising" in
the bedroom.' Blocking out these gross thoughts, I moved on and
tucked into my fruit.

The time issue is such a load of nonsense, especially when it
comes to diet and exercise. Couldn't this guy have requested the
fruit or muesli option for his breakfast on the train with no sweat
and no effort? Could he not buy a pre-made salad and a couple
of bottles of water at Euston station for his lunch? It has never
been so bloody easy to be slim by choosing healthy prepared foods
if you don't have the time to make them for yourself! Virtually
all supermarkets and food stores cater for the health-conscious,
for goodness' sake, and there is now a huge range of healthy
sandwiches, snacks, smoothies and so on.

It is also a load of rubbish to say you haven't got time to
do any physical activity other than dragging your arse out of
bed and into the office. All you need to do is use your head and
think about what you are doing each day. For example, get out
of the office at lunchtime and go for a walk instead of sitting in
front of the computer and chatting on Bebo, or take the stairs
to the fifth floor rather than using the lift. Take time at the
weekends to do something physical: take the dog for a long
walk or go to the park with the kids and get active with them.
It's easy to up your level of physical activity — all you need to
do is stop being lazy.

So if you are one of these moaning doughnuts who pathetically
harp on time and time again that it's hard to find the time to get
slim, just get that idea right out of your head now. After reading
the Life Bitch time-management tips below, there will be no
excuse for not making time. So come on, let's get on with it!

Get hungry to manage your time

Too often we put little or no thought into how we use our time
and quickly we get stressed. You need to develop a personal
strategy to manage your time so that your life runs smoothly and
you have time to eat sensibly, exercise and practise the Life Bitch

techniques.

Imagine being able to fit into your life the time to get physical

and go for walks, the time to read labels and check out what healthy
foods are available at the supermarket, the time to practise my self-
hypnosis techniques that will get your mind fit. Keep those thoughts
in your mind and imagine yourself slimmer and more vital.

Prioritise your time

The key to prioritising is to eliminate what's not important and
identify what's urgent. If it helps, try writing down the things that
you have got to do on a Life Bitch chart and prioritise them by

using colour coding. For example, use red for 'must do now', yellow
for 'has to be done in the next few days' and green for 'can wait for
a week or so'. Pin the chart to a wall and add to it as you need to.
When you have achieved one of the priorities, make sure you cross
it off. If you are one of those people that claim you don't even have
time to prioritise, then get real and get a life. Start now and write
down what you think your daily commitments are - looking after
your kids from 7 a.m. until 8.30 a.m., your work commitments and
anything else you know you must do each day. Take a look at what
you have recorded and start to work out where you can slot in the
gradual exercise I recommend, the time to go and buy the healthy
food you know you should be eating and so on.
Just F-ing do it.

Use a'To Do list

A daily 'To Do' list may seem obvious, but it is very useful.
Simply write down all the things you need to do on a particular
day. Construct the daily list either last thing the evening before
or first thing in the morning. You may combine a 'To Do' list
with a calendar, or you may want to use a 'running' list which is
continuously updated. Use whatever method works best for you.
Added to your 'To Do' list must now be Life Bitch items, such
as '7 p.m. - walking' and '8 p.m. - planning a Life Bitch menu'. As
you add Life Bitch items make sure you imagine the fat melting
away because that is what they are going to do for you. Getting
these actions clear in your mind will get you off to a brilliant start
as a Life Bitch.

Avoid being a perfectionist

Some things need to be closer to perfect than others, but
perfectionism and paying too much attention to detail can be a
real pain in the arse when you want to get things done.

Who cares if your trainers don't quite match your tracksuit?
As long as they are comfortable, safe and do the job they'll be
fine. When it comes to starting to prepare your own healthy food,
I don't expect you to be Raymond Blanc in the kitchen. Keep it
simple, colourful and tasty.

You will find that you have time to get the details exactly how
you want them once you have become more comfortable with the
Life Bitch lifestyle; don't feel pressured to get everything just so
from the word go.

Conquer procrastination

Procrastination, or putting things off because you can't be
bothered to do them, is a real time-management sin. This is often
the situation for people who want to lose weight, but don't take
the first step to do something about it. Getting over this initial
block can be a toughie, but just putting things off will not get
them done or get you slimmer.

For you, this means getting off the couch, going on walks,
throwing out the junk food and learning the Life Bitch techniques.
But if you want to stay fat, then by all means do nothing.

Learn to say 'no'   ^

'No' is such a small word, yet for many people it is a difficult thing
to say. Focusing on what's important to you and your goal to shed
the fat may help. You need to look hard at the time you have and
prioritise the things you have got to do to be a Life Bitch. You
have to win the battle in your mind and say 'no' to the couch
potato temptations that have dogged your life to date.

It will be hard for you to say 'no' to friends who want you to go
through the same safe routines — boozy Friday lunchtimes, drinks
after work, going out for a meal and so on. Yes, do these things
once in a while, but learn how to say 'no' too, and do something
more constructive. Instead of following the pack, you could go

out for that lunchtime walk and give the Friday night drinks a
miss and go home to your family.
Making time for important, but often unscheduled, commit-
ments such as family and friends can also help. But first you must
be convinced that you and your priorities are important and that
they don't just become an excuse for you not to lose weight. Once
you are convinced that this is your life and that your goal to lose
this weight is important to you, saying 'no' becomes a whole lot

easier.

Flush the drains

Get out your mobile phone. Have a look at the names you have
stored. In amongst the people who bring happiness to your
life, and who are there to listen to you and give you their time,
there may be some drains. These are the people who simply take
your personal time but ignore your calls if there's nothing in it
for them. I want you to delete them from your phonebook this
minute. Flush away these little shits, they offer you nothing. It
might sound a harsh step, but again this will empower you and
make you feel you are valued. It will also give you more time you
can use to be a Life Bitch slimming success.

Now you know that time is not your enemy and certainly not
your excuse for being the king or queen of blubber. Go away and
plan your days so that you can buy healthy foods and get your
body moving regularly. Make time your own tool for success.

Getting motivated
Personal motivation

At the heart of weight control we find personal motivation. Weight
control doesn't just happen - it takes action, action, action. And
it's the same for motivation; it doesn't just happen either, it needs
a prod now and then. Personal motivation is vital, as it closes our
escape hatches, our excuses for not getting to our ideal weight. And
what a mixed bag of excuses we have! Here are a few of the most
common, along with my suggestions for dealing with them. Take
note, and let it be the last time you hear yourself saying them.

'EVERYONE DESERVES A TREAT NOW AND AGAIN'
But a treat doesn't have to be fattening. Why not treat
yourself to your favourite exotic fruits or, even better, a non-
food treat like going to the cinema (plain popcorn, no pick 'n'
mix or nachos!) or some new clothes when you start to shed
the pounds? It's important that you build your mental resolve
by putting rewards in place, and the treats we are talking
about are an essential part of the Life Bitch process.




It's a complete myth that healthy food is boring. Variety
is the spice of life and there are plenty of healthy snacks and
meals that are packed with colour and taste but lack the weighty
calories. But how about starting the day with a homemade
bowl of crunchy granola? Or a lunch of herb-crusted chicken
fillet with a pine nut salad, followed by a dinner of Thai king
prawns and wild rice with mandarin sorbet and lychees for
dessert? There's nothing boring about that.

I can hear you saying that healthy food isn't satisfying and
leaves you feeling hungry, but you can keep your body's energy
needs topped up throughout the day with healthy snacks such
as dried fruit, small portions of crunchy nuts and vegetable
sticks. As well as satisfying your appetite during the day, they
Will cut down your cravings and tendency to overeat when
you have your evening meal.



'I'LL START LOOKING AFTER MY HEALTH TOMORROW

?. You and I both know that tomorrow never comes. Get
off your fat arse right now, listen to my wake-up call and ditch
the junk food.


'FAT RUNS IN OUR FAMILY

You're right about fat running, but only when it reaches
melting point. Maybe your siblings or parents are fat, but that's
because you're ^//eating too much! It's utter nonsense to accept
that because they are fat and lazy then that's your preordained
destiny. Show them the real you and prove to them that they
could do it, too. Lose the weight you desperately want to by
listening to the Life Bitch, not your friends and relatives.

'IT'S BECAUSE OF MY AGE

It's not because of your age; it is because you feel some
comfort in the status quo and in your eating habits and you
are eating too much. Sure, your metabolism may have slowed
down, but what you need to accept is that it's your lifestyle
that has got to change, not your age. Take responsibility for it!
There are many thousands of people in middle-age and beyond
who have said enough is enough and have taken control of
their weight — you can too.

MY Client Sandy was about to hit 50 She came -to see me, Worried.

that life was suddenly going to go off the rails as she hit this
landmark age and ^as fat and frumpy. Telling -the Life Bitch that
the weight couldn't be shifted was one big mistake. MY response
was to tell her -to get her fat arse off -the chair so -the poor chair
Could breathe, begin walking more and immediately kick out the
laughable excuse that her fat couldn't be shifted because of
her age. I spent time with Sandy explaining that there are plenty
of people who have shed weight at 50 and beyond, often because
they are faced with -the stark choice of losing the beef or being
ill or worse. She incorporated the Life bitch programme into her
life and eventually reduced her weight by three stone.


'WHAT'S THE POINT? I'VE TRIED TO LOSE WEIGHT
BEFORE AND PUT IT ALL STRAIGHT BACK ON'

This might have been the case when you tried the latest
fad diet, but remember that this time you're doing it the Life
Bitch way and I do not accept failure. You need to start looking
at yourself and the world in a different, more critical light.
Accept that you are overweight and that you don't want to
be anymore and, what's more, start to be disgusted by other
people who are overweight. Now you will accept nothing less
than success when it comes to managing your weight loss.

'I'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS
TO DO IN MY LIFE THAN LOSE WEIGHT'

Picture the next big party or social event you are
attending and see yourself drawing comments of how great
you look and what a change there has been in your appearance.
Relish this thought and let it make weight loss the most
important thing for you right now.

/! DON'T NEED TO EXERCISE BECAUSE
MY HEART GETS LOADS OF EXERCISE
CARRYING AROUND THIS WEIGHT'




?. This one is a real classic that I heard from a guy I'd
guess was at least four stone overweight. This is just plain
stupid, not to mention dangerous, because his heart was under
so much extra strain it would probably lead to heart failure.
The rest of his body would also give up the ghost and be prone
to serious, long-term illnesses, ranging from diabetes to gall
stones.


He can do it. I should know because I have done it
I helped many others to do it. I do not have time
for a negative approach to life. I have had weight-control
in the past and it wasn't until I totally convinced myself
Id take control of my weight that I actually did it.
I know you have a problem because you are reading this
that's the first step in the right direction. So, yes, you
can do it with my motivation and inspiration.


From now on, I want you to reject all these excuses, and when
you hear others opening these escape hatches, pity them. These
people have chosen failure. Keep your own escape hatches firmly
shut. You must not blame other people or challenging situations
for you being overweight because it's solely down to you. What is
blame? Take the 'b' off the word and it all becomes clear: 'lame'.

Willpower

Motivation acts as a springboard to launch our willpower, and
willpower is something that we all need to succeed, especially
when it comes to losing weight. You may be saying, 'I don't have
any willpower.' Well, the fact is we all have it, and sparking your
motivation will bring it out and make weight loss and weight
control much easier. I will cover boosting your willpower using
self-hypnosis techniques in more detail in chapter 6.

Above all else, do remember that motivation is your own
responsibility, not anyone else's. So if you don't get motivated, if
you decide to stay fat - fine, that's your choice. Don't then blame
others or circumstances and don't look for scapegoats. You're the
one who chooses your food and what you eat. You are an adult,
so take responsibility for your own life right now. I can imagine
some of you are already thinking that this is going to be too much
like hard work, thinking that you'll not be able to stick with it.
Well, stop it right now because I'm having none of that. Things
are only hard work if you make them that way.

Ah, yes, I hear the excuses beginning again: 'No, but...yes,
but...no, but...'

But how do you get motivated and
bolster your willpower?

The good news. is there are lots of things you can do to help
yourself:

1 Draw a picture of your ideal body shape, making sure that this
is realistic and healthy - no stick-thin, anorexic pics please.
I want you to do this so you have a real representation of
the shape you want to become, not that of some airbrushed
supermodel from a glossy magazine. Keep it with you at all
times and look at it in the morning when you get up, then
four times throughout the day and once before you go to
sleep, so that it becomes imprinted in your mind. Each time
you look at this target body shape have a big smile on your
face. Say, This is the me I'm going to become and I'm really,
really excited about taking control and changing.' If you
can't draw, just cut out a realistic body shape example from
a magazine and keep it with you.

2 Select an item of clothing that you are dying to wear, that
you would feel good in, that when you are able to wear,
you will have achieved your ideal weight. Hang it up in a
prominent position, where it is always visible, and keep it
there until you fit into it. If you don't have something suitable
in your wardrobe from a time when you were slimmer, use
this as a good excuse to go shopping.

When you feel your willpower is weak, go to your room,
look at this outfit and think to yourself, 'I can't wait to strut my
stuff in this outfit. I will look gorgeous and people will look at
me and know I'm a Life Bitch winner.'

Jane, 55/ was one of my clients. She found this idea particularly
motivating. She kept her chosen dress hanging up in her bedroom
for six. months, during which -time she shed -three stone. She was
delighted to take this item of clothing with her on a
holiday to Turkey. She sent me a text message from -there, letting
me kno^ she was in -the dress and feeling fabulous. She had gone
from a size 16 to a size 10.

Write three — no more, no less — benefits of weight loss for
each of the following areas:

HEALTH

exercise'. healthier blood pressure, adding
years to your life

Social
e.g. more success at dating,


More out of life,
I.E playing with the kids, more energy etc.

Keep this list to hand at all times, so that when you are
feeling some self-doubt or need a quick motivation boost
you can read it and feel empowered by why you are doing
things the Life Bitch way.

You can keep these thoughts and other tips and lists in
a Life Bitch journal. Check out the sample journal on pages
Go to your food cupboards and remove any foods that are
not conducive to weight control. You know the troublemakers:

crisps, chocolate, biscuits and ready-meals. Take them to
the waste bin and, literally, smash them into it. Don't give
them away to others. You don't want them, you recognise
that what you're getting rid of is unhealthy, so why would
anyone else want them? This may be difficult if you can't
bear to see waste, but it is part of your commitment process
and lifestyle change, so just do it.

Enjoy throwing away the garbage comfort foods that
are strangling your life. To help you along, I've drawn up
a check list of some of the worst offenders (see page 261).
Feel great as you throw the bad food away and prove to
yourself that you are a winner;

There's no excuse, so get in there and chuck the fattening
junk food out!

Surround yourself with 'radiators' and get those 'drains' out
of your life. By radiators' I mean those who are supportive
and want you to improve and be your best. They are brilliant
to have around. Radiators are those who will say, 'You look
great, but if you can lose weight, you will look stunning.'
They are honest, encouraging and they will not give you
false hope or be an emotional crutch.

A great radiator, whom we all know and sometimes hate
but can identify with, is Simon Cowell of X Factor fame.

Simon is often criticised for 'putting people down', but if
you listen to him carefully, the majority of his comments are
designed not to hurt, but instead to encourage people to be
the best they can.

The drains are like saboteurs who keep undermining your
efforts. Take care: these guys are not always easy to spot.
They may say things that sound supportive and comforting;

they may tell you not to worry, that you're not that bad, that
'another slice of cake won't hurt' and that "it's personality
that counts'. But the drains are indirectly saying 'stay fat'.
They think they are being your friends by encouraging you to
enjoy the food with them. They are misguided and are doing
you no favours, so ignore them and stick to your guns.

The archetypal drains are flushed out all the time in reality
TV shows where people are vying to be the last man/woman
standing and win public votes. They are the ones who go out
of their way to be supportive to fellow contestants, but all the
time they undermine them with meaningless encouragement
and 'empathy'. Spend some time studying the drains in
your favourite reality TV show and you will learn to spot the
people who are sucking away your motivation in real life.
Tell the drains to get lost.

Choose an affirmation that makes you feel good. Some
examples are:


^ I'm successfully shedding the pounds and its exciting

I am becoming more comfortable and confident with my
new shape

I'm in control and feeling more confident by the day as I
melt the fat

I am relaxed with who I am and enjoy every moment as
a successful slimmer

Place it in your mind and let the thought of it become a
healthy, everyday habit.

Walk tall from this moment on, knowing you already are a
successful slimmer. You need this self-belief and confidence
to bolster your willpower and defeat the unconscious mind
that tells you to eat rubbish all the time.

If you're still in a rut, thinking that weight loss will never happen
for you, give yourself a talking to, kick yourself up the rear and
start putting some of my suggestions into practice right now.

The tips I have provided are easy to pick up and will boost your
motivation in a variety of situations. Choose the one you think will
work best for you and try it. Whenever you're feeling in the need
for more motivation, try another. There's no shame in having an

ideal dress hanging in your bedroom, a body-shape drawing by
your computer or a list of three weight-loss benefits in your wallet.
It's time to start taking your health and weight seriously, and to do
so you will need to use all the motivation you can muster.

Motivating measures

Raising your motivation naturally leads to actions that will get
you riding high on the Life Bitch programme. They are small,
common-sense steps that will keep your motivation strong and
get your body and mind going.

1 Walking tall: around your home, to work, walking the dog,
walking up the stairs, in the park, to the shopping centre.
Walk tall, smile and in your mind be aware that you are
becoming trimmer every day. Let this help you to project
your outer confidence. This will give you more willpower,
boost your motivation and help you to shed weight as you
get out and about more on foot.

2 Remember to police any 'victim' thoughts. If you become
aware of excuses creeping into your mind, visualise a big
stop sign. This might be when you've passed one of your
favourite fast-food outlets and caught a whiff of something
tasty, or one of the drains has dropped by again with a bag
of sweets. Each time, just flash that stop sign in your mind
and take back control.

3 Combine healthy eating with moderate exercise and believe
this is making you healthier and in all probability extending
your life. You will be around longer for your partner, children,
friends and family.

4 Ask a family member or friend to become your Life Bitch
buddy and support and motivate you face to face and via
text messages and emails.

5 Make a conscious effort to observe fat people. Notice how
they often eat more than others - don't be sympathetic about
it, let it repulse you. If their seemingly never ending hunger is
not related to a medical condition, they should stop feeding
their fat. Feel disgust and use that disgust for your own
motivation to control your weight.

6 Start to leave food on your plate. Yes, I said leave food. If you
start to leave food from the large portions you have become
used to, you will soon enjoy the feeling of achievement that
this gives you.

Forget all that rubbish about eating it all up because there
are people starving in the world. You eating everything in
sight isn't going to help feed them. If you're worried about

world poverty and starvation then join a political group or
make a donation to charity.

7 Eat slowly and be proud to admit it when you are full and
want no more. Chewing your food slowly is important for
several physical and psychological reasons. It is a natural
way to eat less because the stomach will get around to
telling your brain that it's full more quickly. Compare this to
when you are wolfing down packets of chocolate biscuits
or tucking away a Chinese takeaway - you always want
more and don't ever feel your hunger is satisfied. Then
suddenly, after you've gorged yourself, you feel stuffed and
start to hate yourself and regret eating so much. So don't eat
quickly. The slower chewing of your food will also help your
digestive system and contribute to your overall sense of well-
being. You might also think about cleaning your teeth after
each meal, as this gives a further signal to the brain that you
have eaten enough by clearing out your taste bud sensors
which are encouraging you to eat more.

8 Treat yourself for having the motivation to control your
weight, but not by going on an unhealthy binge. Instead buy
yourself a new item of clothing or a beauty treatment, or,
at no cost, have an extra long soak in the bath. Whatever
floats your boat!


9 Keep imagining the feeling of ease and comfort when you
wear clothes as a trim person, and how awkward and awful
fat people feel when they try to squeeze into their clothes.




Fat people often feel awkward, under-confident and
uncomfortable when they try to squeeze into a favourite
outfit. I know exactly how that feels. There was a time when I'd
ballooned from a 30-inch waist to a 36. When I forced myself into
a pair of34-inch-waist trousers I looked like a question mark with
my belly sticking out.

If this is your experience now, use it to your advantage.
Motivate your mind to experience the wonderful physical and
psychological sensation as you slip into clothes that make you feel
and look fantastic. Imagine this as a reality right now — good, isn't
it? Think about this successful outcome on a daily basis. For me, it
is the medicine the mind needs to be able to achieve great things.

We have gone through a host of tips to help you get motivated and
actions that will help to keep your mind on track and your body
up to the challenges. I want you to keep a Life Bitch journal and
write down daily the actions you have taken to get motivated to
achieve your ideal weight (see the sample journal on pages 254-
6). This journal ritual is another effective tool that will help you
programme your mind to achieve your ideal weight. Looking back
on your progress and your successes will be a great motivator and
will bolster your resolve to keep the weight off. Losers may start

a journal but soon give it up. Be a winner - keep at it and you'll
have something that you can dip into for inspiration and support

when you need it.

So now you have no excuse. You have plenty of ways to help
you become motivated to move from being a fatty to being a
healthy, slim person.

All about attitude
Your attitude is going to play a big part in

moving you forward to that ideal weight.   ]

With a positive attitude, you will find   ,

you are more driven, fulfilled and 100 per

cent focused on becoming a successful

Life Bitch weight-loss role model. Why

do I say 100 per cent? This comes from

breaking the word itself down into
components. Attitude: let's take each
letter and give it a score depending on
where it falls in the alphabet.

Attitude is all about being 100 per cent committed, all of the
time, to being slim, trim, fit and healthy Anything less just won't
do, so monitor your attitude at all times. Keep it positive because
your weight outcome will ultimately be determined by it. Your
attitude drives your behaviours, including, among other things,
your eating habits, body language and the results you achieve in


your life. A positive attitude will help you to carry out the actions
described in this book, to understand why you are doing this and
to be successful. A negative attitude automatically steers us away
from achieving our goals. If you find yourself waking up one day
with a negative attitude, give yourself one hell of a talking to,
grow up, stop behaving like a child and turn it around immediately.
Remember: attitude is a choice and it's yours. So don't try to tell me
that others make you feel as you do so you can't lose weight. That is
your choice. Accept it. I want a positive attitude from you.

Take the time to read one of my favourite pieces on attitude:

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of
attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than
facts. It is more important than the past, than education,
than money, than circumstances, than failures, than
successes, than what other people think or say or do. It
is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The
remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding
the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot
change our past, we cannot change the fact that people
will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing "we can do is play on the one string we
have, and that is OUR ATTITUDE. I am convinced
that life is 10 per cent what happens to me and 90 per
cent how I react to it.

CHARLES SWINDOLL

Margaret, a career woman was a successful senior training
professional, had a life-changing experience -that needed
life bitching. She was about to complete her senior professional
qualifications in human resources when she had an encounter with a
bus that resulted in a severe bang on the head and several weeks
off work. Everything in her life changed there and then.

Margaret describes the impact on her confidence'. The physical
inJuries healed, but what I hadnt anticipated ^as the impact to my
emotional well-being . MY confidence was at. an all-time lo, i suffered
horrendous panic attacks and became daunted by the prospect of
returning to work, not sure if I could cope.

I felt safest at home and became an expert at eating junk food,
loafing around and catching daytime TV, which compounded the
destructive cycle I was in. As my weight ballooned, my confidence
became even lower.

after talking to me, Margaret realised that she had to do
something and that perhaps the answer to her problems was within
herself.

To get back my self-esteem and control of my life, I followed
a simple programme, each day I would affirm positive thoughts and
images to myself. J also looked for positive role models in celebrities
and stars who maintain a healthy, attractive figure, and my mentor
here was Kate winslet.

The techniques have helped inspire me to continue developing
myself and achieving in both my personal and professional lifeThe
ability to believe in myself and to mentally overcome barriers that
were once placed in my mind has been life-changing'.

Here is a quick summary of my top tips to keep you on a path
of motivation:

Stop making excuses - just do it!
Draw or get hold of a picture of your ideal body shape.
Close your eyes and visualise yourself with this new
shape.

Hang your ideal outfit in a prominent place and look at it
when you feel lacking in willpower.
Write down the benefits of weight loss.
Bin the junk food.

Keep a Life Bitch journal - it will bolster your drive and
motivation to lose weight.

Block off the drains right now and surround yourself with
radiators.

Choose a positive affirmation and drum it into your
mind.

Walk everywhere you can, with your head held high.
If you feel temptation or doubt, flash the big red stop
sign in your mind.
Find a Life Bitch buddy.
Feel disgusted by the fat people surrounding you.
Eat your food slowly and enjoy each mouthful. It will

leave you feeling full and satisfied more quickly than

shovelling down heaps of rubbish. Leave food on your

plate.

© Clean your teeth after meals.
0 Plan and look forward to the rewards on your journey,

whether it be buying clothes you never thought you

could wear or wearing a bikini on your dream holiday.
Be driven by your results, even if they are small -

losing a little weight, clothes feeling slacker, the odd

compliment.
Always maintain a positive attitude.

Too stressed to
weigh less?




For the majority of us, stress in life is unavoidable and is
something we have to deal with. Stress can come from
anything from managing a home and caring for children to being
the outwardly confident CEO of a big company. We know it's
there all around us and it's scary.

A Liverpool University study published in 2004 reported that
women are six times more likely than men to overeat as a coping
mechanism to deal with stress. There is a lot of truth in the saying
that 'women are emotional beings'. When they become emotional
for whatever reason they are likely to channel this into a physical
action such as shouting or eating. That means when there's an
emotional overload they are likely to reach for the chocolate
digestives. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to deal with
stress by switching off their emotional responses and going with

instincts that allow them to focus on the situation and avoid the
emotional crutches.

As well as the academic evidence, I am aware from my own
experiences and those of my clients that women are more likely
to comfort eat than men. And nowadays they are also tending
to binge drink much more as a stress response. It's a double
whammy for women! This emotional eating is a natural way
to deny negative feelings such as anxiety, sadness, guilt or
jealousy.

One of the physical causes of emotional eating is an increased
level of cortisol, the stress hormone, which can create cravings
for food. It may also be caused by childhood conditioning.
Parents often provide children with goodies such as ice creams
or sweets to make up for difficult or challenging experiences.
Some of us therefore grow up associating these foods with
feeling better when faced with stress, and this can quickly spiral
out of control.

Ask yourself this: are you one of those people that wants
to reach for the biscuit tin, get hold of a chocolate bar, or treat
yourself to a bag of chips or a takeaway when the stress kicks in?

If you are an emotional eater, it is time to get a grip and use
the Life Bitch coping mechanisms. If your emotional problems are
the result of a bereavement, divorce or depression, then visit your
GP for additional advice and support. However, if you're simply
moping about not getting that job you applied for, or the dream
holiday you were unable to afford, then get over it!
Let go of this behaviour and accept that new responses have to
take hold if you are to say bye-bye to food as an emotional feeder.

Practise relaxation

Each day practise a relaxation technique for around 15 minutes.
This will help you to rebalance and bring yourself back to a sense
of control. Simply find a warm, safe place where you will not be
disturbed, sit in a comfortable seat and do the following:

1 Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.

2 Imagine a favourite place of relaxation, somewhere you
know well or somewhere you have dreamt of.

3 Take yourself into your favourite place of relaxation, pay
attention to any unnecessary nervous tension and let it melt
away.

4 Imagine negative thoughts drifting out of your mind every
time you breathe out.

5 As you breathe in, take in positive thoughts, such as being
in control, calm, focused and relaxed.

6 Enjoy the sensations of being so relaxed you feel as though
you are soaking in a warm bath.

7 Finally, mentally count up from one to ten. Say to yourself
that you will open your eyes at the count of seven and be
fully awake at the count of ten. Tell yourself that you will
awaken feeling refreshed, calm, focused and in control.

Make sure you practise this technique regularly, so that you
can quickly get to grips with it and use it as a stress-buster.

Make up some Life Bitch treat troughs

Prepare Life Bitch goodies in small plastic bags - pop in some of
your favourite healthy snacks. This is a great way to satisfy your
grazing habit; when you feel stressed and

tempted to eat, you can dig into one of
these without getting into the vicious
circle of stress, eating, guilt, stress and
so on. Have these at hand at home and at
work, so when times get tough you can
get to them. It isn't difficult to prepare
these daily. The secret is to vary them.
Here are a couple of examples:


A green apple
Orange slices
Sliced carrots
Low fat yogurt
A packet of Sunflower seeds
Half a slice of lean turkey
A handful of grapes
A 'sfnall packet of raisins
Organic orange juice
A low fat cerial bar

The Life Bitch troughs are a
simple idea that will help beat the
bad eating habits that stress can
lead to. These are my common-
sense ideas; use them as a guide to
come up with your own. Keep them
simple and true to the Life Bitch
faith — so no chocolate-covered
raisins!


Bitch with your buddy!

It is good to talk, so get yourself a Life Bitch buddy. This should
be someone who listens well, is comfortable with themselves and
has time on their hands to give to you. Ideally, they will have
maturity and life experience so that they can genuinely empathise
with you.

Avoid the type of person who will treat you like a child and enjoy
the power of moulding you. They will do your head in and offer
little worthwhile support. Find someone who is going to inspire
you when life is tough; that is the kind of strength you need.

It would be perfect if your Life Bitch buddy could be someone
who wants to share the Life Bitch journey with you. Sharing this
common experience will be valuable in bolstering each other's
willpower and helping each other to overcome the challenges you
will face.

As you bitch about life with your buddy, let it all out, cry as
much as you want and then agree on an action plan and follow it
through together.

Go out for a walk/get a punch bag

Depending on your level of stress and your physical fitness, I
recommend two simple ways to de-stress naturally that will also
benefit your weight-loss goal: walking and punching.

If things really are getting too much for you to cope take a
deep breath and have some 'me' time, whether you're at home or
at work. As soon as you can get out, go and stretch your legs on
a brisk walk. It will do you the world of good and you'll know it
straightaway as you breathe the fresh air into your lungs.

It might seem radical, but using a punch bag or punch ball
at home or at the gym is a fantastic de-stressor. Picture this:

your boss has dragged your good name through the dirt for the
umpteenth time and you want to scream and shout, but you can't.
• You know he or she is an idiot, but if you say anything you'll
risk your job and you can't afford to lose it. Your normal solution
would be to tuck into the biscuits and moan to your workmates. I
don't want you to do that; instead save your frustration until you
get to your punch bag. When you are there, picture his or her
face barking at you and start jabbing away. You won't believe how
good this will make you feel, and the sweat you will get going will
be evidence of the brilliant workout you're having.

Among other things, the benefits of these quick fix de-stressors
include a release of endorphins which helps provide a feel-good
factor. They will calm you down and help focus your thoughts in
a positive way. Think about the great things the rest of the day or
tomorrow will bring.

This is all good stuff to help you let go of unhealthy emotions
and of course keep trim. It may also be a good idea to walk or
workout with your Life Bitch buddy so you can talk through your
emotions at the same time.

Get it down in your Life Bitch journal

Write down your emotions in your Life Bitch journal. Express
your feelings as fully as possible. Do this first thing in the morning
and last thing at night to help you have both a good day and then
a good night's sleep. If you wake up in the night with negative
emotions going through your head, then write them down. This
will release any negative thoughts brought out by stressful
situations and help you work through the issues that are sticking
in your mind. It will help to get these stress-driven problems into
perspective and minimise the emotional responses that might be
triggered by them. I want you to start doing this now because
it's a simple, effective way to get stress into perspective and start
handling it. No excuse — pen and journal now!

Another action to consider is to really let your thoughts out
with a physical action. When you have got everything on paper,

especially the anger you feel, rip up the piece of paper and flush it
down the loo.





Learn something new

Finding a new hobby — something you have never done before, or
at least not for a long time — not only takes your mind off things
but also builds your confidence.

Something creative is often a good idea, such as painting,
dance, writing or pottery, because each of these will help you to
express your feelings and release pent-up anger and emotions.
You will also meet new people and make friends. Pop into the
local library and ask for information on local groups and societies.
Alternatively, you may want to consider a course with the Open
University or a distance-learning programme where you gain a
recognised qualification.

If you are experiencing a lot of work-related stress then
why not really get with the Life Bitch programme and change
your life by picking up new qualifications? Remember my own
Life Bitch story. By learning something new and getting more
qualifications, your horizons will open up and you could get the
job you've always wanted.


Take Tina, a 28 year-old professional who is dropping -the pounds
and reaching her own special goal. After having found out that her
partner had had an affair just after they got married, Tina began
piling back on the stones she had struggled hard to lose.

Food became the crutch that propped up her emotions. Tina
particularly struggled in the evening when she got home from work. She
satisfied herself with junk food, including chocolate, pizz, crisps
ice cream and cakes. She would lie on the sofa with the dovet over her
watching TV. As the weeks passed, Tina was beginning to return to the
porky state that she really detested. As she became fatter, she also
became more depressed.

At our first meeting I requested she Visit her DR for clearance
to work with me. Tinas situation is typical of that 
of women who use food to give their emotions a boost.
We agreed that she needed to get a grip on her feelings if she was
to lose weight as welll as save her marriage. The first session was
geared towards letting out the anger and grief she felt about her
husband's affair. We worked out a plan of action to move Tina
from emotional eating. She did not want counselling as she had tried it
before and achieved nothing. We agreed that Tina would join her local
women's hockey team, as she had played hockey at university. She would 
practise relaxation and she accepted that she had to open a healthy
dialogue with her husband. She agreed to mentally rehearse what she
would talk with him: this was made easier by the fact that he really
wanted to save his marriage.
six months after beginning her life bitch plan, Tina had lost the
weight and become stronger, what's more, she is also expecting her
first child.

For most people, it's virtually impossible never to experience stress,
but the sensible thing to do is to identify where most of the stress in
your life comes from and form strategies to minimise or avoid it.

I want you to write down in your Life Bitch journal what you
believe is causing the most stress in your life and start to break
down and examine each trigger in some detail. For example, it
might be your job, so work out why it is stressful. Is it deadlines
you find hard, a boss who's a shit, commuting? There are solutions
to all these issues, ranging from managing your workload more
efficiently to finding a new job where commuting isn't an issue
and/or the bastard boss is left behind.


If you are overweight, you may have low self-confidence and
low self-esteem and these factors make many situations that others
take in their stride stressful - being in public, job interviews,
dating and so on. Solution? Smile, because you have taken a huge
step towards getting your weight down. The small steps we take
together will help you to deal quickly with the common situations
that you now find stressful. Key among them will be the self-
affirmations such as 'I am going to be slimmer and trimmer.

Brian, a guy in his late 50s, worked with me a while ago. He had a goal:
He wanted to walk his daughter down the isle, but he had
put on several stone and was ashamed of his appearance.

discussing how his work had impacted on his life, Brian explained
that he was a facilities manager for a local authority and each day
he was brought lists of other people's problems that he had to sort out. He
wasn't coping well with the pressure and was drinking too much and
eating his favourite steak and kidney pie with chips too often.

I asked Brian to write down the stress triggers in his life and
together we worked on several coping strategies. He agreed to use my
simple self-relaxation technique (.see page 58 when things got tough
at work and he also spoke to his manager about reducing his Workload.
These two factors had a quick impact on Brian's stress and he began
to feel more Confident and in control at work.

We looked at his lifestyle and eating habits to see if things could
be improved and planned out a weekly routine that introduced de-
stressing talks and sensible eating. We included laying-off during
the week, then he allowed himself some treats and a glass or two of
wine and he ^as even able to indulge in his beloved steak and kidney pie
once a month.

The results have been fantastic for Brian. He dropped three
inches from his waist, lost the jowls he had developed and, as his daughter 
said at her wedding, he 'looked Years Younger'. A real health bonus
was that the weight loss and reduction in stress lowered his blood
pressure from dangerously high to normal.

The key to Brian's success was identifying his stress triggers
and getting his work situation sorted so that he could feel confident
and in control.


Getting stress resolved is vital to successful and maintained
weight loss. On the face of it, yes, stress is a complicated issue
which varies from individual to individual, but if you face up to it
and break it down it can be, at the very least, reduced so that you
can manage it.

Take some time with this chapter and make sure you understand
why stress has contributed to your overeating because it's not an
excuse I will tolerate anymore.

Mind support:
finding the willpower



the  BITCH,

 Practise regular relaxation.
 Make up some Life Bitch troughs if you are likely to
need a graze.

 When times are tough, turn to your bitch buddy for support.
 If you are feeling emotional, go out for a good walk or
workout.

 Purge those negative feelings by jotting them down in
your Life Bitch journal. If it helps, tear out the page, rip
it up and flush the negativity out of your life!
 Do something new that makes you feel good.
 Sort out the source of the stress so that you can deal
with it instead of constantly moaning about it.




Let's take a look at how you can apply self-hypnosis techniques
to grow willpower and effectively reduce weight.
Drawing on the strength of will that's in your mind will make
a huge difference to you. It's the difference between you being a
lardarse and having a cute arse.

Where's your head at?
It's very important that you understand how your brain works,
so that you can take control of the parts that will make your
willpower into the strongest tool that will help you to lose weight
and keep it off.
If your body has got fat, it's a sure thing that your mind has
also allowed itself to get fat and sluggish. To get it fighting fit,
understand the following practical advice and techniques and use
them to your advantage.

Your mind is split into two parts: the conscious and the
unconscious. The conscious mind is represented by your
current awareness -your
thoughts, feelings and here and now
experiences.

The unconscious mind is represented by those of your memories
and experiences that have been 'forgotten'. In other words, these
memories and experiences are out of your conscious awareness,
although they may well become conscious again under different
circumstances. For example, as a child I ate some tomato sauce and
suddenly vomited. Although that experience is done and dusted,
is in the past and consigned to my unconscious mind, whenever
I see or smell tomato sauce, I suddenly feel an uncomfortable
sensation in my stomach.

The unconscious area of the brain that controls and influences
our life patterns, memories, habits, emotions and automatic functions is also known as the limbic system.

Mind over platter

Getting your unconscious mind to stop telling you to stuff your
mouth with crisps and takeaways is the key to getting the thunder
off your thighs.

We are going to programme the unconscious mind to create
some healthy habits that will slim your body and keep it that way.
In other words, I will show you how to achieve and maintain a
healthy weight through habit. This will take your weight loss
forward quickly because your mind will be programmed to
automatically move towards the ideal shape.
Your bad eating habits, such as piling your plate high and
craving high-fat, high-sugar foods, have become a conditioned
reflex. I'm going to help you change that so your unconscious
mind kicks out the cravings for junk and replaces them with
sensible eating habits.

The techniques
In order to set up and boost your willpower, you first need to turn
off the unhelpful impulses to eat garbage foods and eat too much.
To do this, you must tap into the alpha wave state in your brain. The
alpha state is when you feel relaxed yet alert as to what is going on
around you. In other words, you are creating a calm state of mind
so that you can focus effectively. Be sure to read this chapter all the
way through before attempting any of these exercises.

1	Find a warm, safe, comfortable place, where you won't be
disturbed.

2	Sit upright in a chair. Avoid lying down because we are
conditioned to sleep when we do so. Allow the chair to
support your body and sink into it comfortably.
3	Place your feet flat on the floor, with your hands resting on
your thighs and allow your eyes to gently close. It is quite
, normal for thoughts to be drifting through your mind. Avoid
fighting them.

4	Allow any external noises to drift in and out of your mind,
whether it is traffic, people in the distance, aircraft, or a
ticking clock. The secret here is to blend these external noises
into this process of calm. For instance, you may internally
suggest to yourself that as each car passes you 'melt' into a
deeper sense of calm.

5	Slowly start to work down the muscles of your body -I emphasise the word SLOWLY. The mind needs time. Mentally
take each group of muscles and imagine them becoming
calm, floppy, at rest. Begin with the muscles of the face,
including the cheeks, lips and jaw. Gradually move your
attention to the shoulders, arms and fingers. Slowly move to
the chest, stomach and back. Continue through to the thighs,
calves and feet.

6	Once you have calmed your body but are mentally alert,
count down from ten to one. Tell yourself that with each
number, you will drift a little more deeply into a state of
calm. Count a number on every other out breath.

7 Once you have completed the countdown, allow yourself to
drift even deeper into a calm state. You have now engaged
the alpha brainwave state successfully.

Practise this regularly until you can achieve a calm state easily.
This is the state you should create within yourself before you
use any of the following techniques. A simple way to do this and
one which can help you to pick up the techniques quickly is to
record yourself reading out points one to seven so that you are
not distracted by reading them from the lines here.
Now, here are the techniques that will help you become the
gorgeous, slim person you know you are. Feel free to use a
combination of them; use the ones that work for you. But make
damn sure you do at least one of them every day. Remember, only
fat failures don't bother. All the techniques involve you closing
your eyes and should be undertaken only when it is safe to do so.
Before opening them again, always mentally count back up from
one to ten. Tell yourself that you will open your eyes at seven
and at the count of ten will be fully awake and that all normal
sensations will be restored. Before fully awakening, affirm in your
mind that you will wake up feeling refreshed, motivated, alert and
ready for action.

Technique 2
Once you are in the alpha state, dissociate from your mind the part
of you that thinks you are a failure when it comes to losing weight.
Do this by breathing out the excuses and the victim thoughts
and breathe in thoughts of achievement. In your mind, see, hear
and feel the words FAT LAZY LOSING SLOB drifting away on
each out breath. Then breathe in SLIM TRIM CONTROLLED
WINNER. Let these words soak into your mind deeply. Do this
ritual 20 times, finishing on a positive in breath.


Technique 1

Begin by using the steps 1-7 above to access your alpha state.
As you mentally count down from ten to one, imagine yourself
becoming a little calmer yet more focused on each number. Then
put the thought into your mind -and
truly believe it -that
you
are a winner and that you are in control of your eating habits;
that you are proud to leave food on your plate; that you are a no-nonsense
Life Bitch success as you lose weight to gain a healthy
shape. As you do this, sense the excitement it brings and in your
mind hear the words 'being fat is something in the past'. You may
even suggest to yourself that you are happy to be repulsed by being
overweight and that weight control in your mind is a lifestyle
change that you are immensely proud of. After ten minutes of
affirming this to yourself, bring yourself back by counting up
from one to ten.


Technique 3

This is the Life Bitch DIP formula. All three parts should be
practised in the alpha brainwave state, but need to be learnt
separately for some time before you put them together. Work
through them as described below:

your vision

Drift into the alpha state and picture yourself in your mind as
slim, relaxed, confident and comfortable with your image. See this
success in a freeze-frame and take a mental note of the way it makes
you feel. See it as reality now. Notice how proud it makes you feel.
See what you see, feel what you feel and, if there are sounds, hearwhat you hear. As this is a portrait of success, you should turn up
the brightness of the picture, intensify the wonderful feelings and
by all means pump up the volume.
Spend around five minutes with your defined vision. When
ready, count yourself up from one to ten in the normal way. Carry
out the process for seven consecutive days.

in my work with athletes, I get them to picture having gold medals
hung around their necks before a competition has even started.
They are first out of the blocks and over the finish line because
they know they wil win.

Identify the parts

Note down every action and behaviour undertaken that will
help you achieve that ultimate vision of your ideal weight and
body shape, and include all your positive verbal and nonverbal
communication.
This could be something as simple as clearing the larder of
biscuits, buying new outfits a size or two smaller, taking longer
walks and constantly reminding yourself that you are a Life Bitch
winner. In effect, these are all the consistent activities you will do
to achieve your defined vision.
Having identified the actions that will help you achieve your
defined vision, for the next two weeks, in the alpha state, see, feel
and hear these 'parts'. Let these defined parts bury themselves
deeper and deeper into your mind. In other words, let them
become habits.

Play your success movie

Now bring together your vision with the parts that will make it happen and play them as a movie in your mind. Practise playing
this movie for one week. Then use the movie when you are in
situations that challenge your willpower, such as being out with
the kids and everyone is having ice creams, or it's Friday night,
when you usually have a curry (not anymore you don't).

The DIP technique will replace thoughts of temptation and
craving with the real goals and outcomes you want: losing weight
and being your ideal weight.
You will have conditioned yourself at the unconscious level to
be in control, calm and focused, so that losing weight becomes a
pleasure, not a chore.

Technique 4

I developed this five-minutes-per-day workout over a number of
years and it is really suited to people who feel they need more
motivation. It takes up very little time and delivers quickly. So
there's no room in the Life Bitch programme for any fatties who say
there's not enough time to work with their mind at a deeper level!
Relax and drift into your unconscious mind by closing your
eyes and counting down from ten to one. Imagine going into the
part of your mind that is the 'motivation room'. Drift into it and
notice the sounds and feelings of powerful motivation. You are
hearing shouts of'Come on, you are a winner/ 'You are moving to
lean arse and away from lardarse successfully' Hear the roars of a
crowd cheering you on. Let the motivation flow throughout your
body. Imagine a sensation of win, win, win.
Finally, count yourself back up from ten to one. Increase the
volume of your inner voice as you count up.
If you choose this technique, do it for five minutes every day,
whether that be in the morning, on the way to work, in your lunch
break or in the evening before bed.

Technique 5

Drift into a state of calm and imagine yourself walking down the
street noticing lazy, fat people bingeing on food and feeling repulsed
by them. Let that feeling of absolute disgust be your motivation. It
makes you feel sick. Imagine the fat strangling their bodies and the
emotional laziness these people have accepted into their lives. It is
only fair to remember that not all fat people are fat because they
are greedy -some
have medical conditions -but
the majority are
fat because they are lazy and won't get off their big backsides to do
something about it. You're not one of them anymore.

Technique 6

Drift into the alpha brainwave state and imagine a filthy
tablecloth with a load of junk food on it. Notice the grease and
stains on the cloth and feel repulsion as you look at mould and
maggots on the fatty foods. Turn up these feelings of repulsion
and the brightness of the scene. If there are sounds, turn up
the volume. After a couple of minutes allow your mind to go
blank. Then, in your mind, reset the table with a clean tablecloth
and imagine white plates with healthy food on them; perhaps
a serving of fresh vegetables with some lean chicken breast.
Notice the colours and the feelings of freshness as they enter
your mind. You could imagine the sound of your favourite music
accompanying the scene. Allow this scene to enter your mind,
deeper and deeper, and let it become your reality.
This technique and the one before will help programme your
mind to control your eating habits, so you create the desire to eat
small portions of healthy food. They will motivate your mind to be
a slim, trim success, rather than be like the thousands who choose to
remain fat slobs and continue down a lacklustre road to ill health.
Technique 7

This is one of the most straighworward of techniques. Affirmations
are -a way of working within your mind to change the negative
pictures we have of ourselves to positive ones. Affirmations are
simply positive self-talk, and affirmations linked with visualisation
will support your quest for the body beautiful by improving
your:
eating habits
approach to exercise
personal projection as you shed the weight

The words you say to yourself produces pictures, which in turn
will affect your actions and behaviours. Be sure to use affirmations
both in and out of the alpha state. Remember to state them in the
present tense and always make them positive:

I love the feeling of my body as the fat dissolves

I really enjoy the taste of healthier foods and the feeling
that they are zapping my waistline

I feel brilliant as I stride up the stairs to my office

I deserve to strut my stuff and enjoy the confidence of
success

I look people straight in the eye and they can see the ray
of light shining from me

I am one hell of a successful Life Bitch slimmer

Technique 8

Using what is known as a timeline approach is a great way to
absorb your new look deep into the unconscious part of your
mind without the need to go into the alpha state. I particularly
like this technique because it incorporates a bit of drama and gets
you moving.
Find a space where you can visualise the journey of melting
the fat. Mark a space on the floor that represents 'now' and
stand there. With a real focus, walk from the 'now' space to a
point on the floor that for you represents the successful you,
looking fantastic and slim and feeling like the dog's bollocks.
Stand tall on this space and turn around to look back at the
'now' space. Stay there for a moment, absorbing what it is like
to have achieved this outcome. Feel what you feel, see what you
see and hear what you hear. And now walk further forward to
a space that represents the future, when you have achieved the
body beautiful, and turn around. Take a look back to 'now' once
again and visualise all the things that you did to achieve your
outcome. Mentally talk to yourself, using past-tense language,
such as, 'I stuck to my Life Bitch healthy menus, did some
exercise each day and affirmed that I was totally in control of
my eating habits.'
Using this technique, your mind will grasp that you are already
successful. It will automatically programme itself to help take you
along your timeline.

The good news is that by carrying out these techniques, the
natural, practical actions you need to take to establish healthy
eating and a healthy lifestyle will be automatically triggered
because your mind will be motivated to carry them out. They are
effective and simple: eating healthy food installs the habit in the
mind and means you become strongly motivated to buy them.
These mind techniques will be the bedrock of your motivation.
If you find yourself saying, 'I don't think it's working,' then get off
your backside and try harder. You are dealing with the Life Bitch
here, not someone who says, 'Never mind, it will happen one day,
somehow'
Trying harder means you need to focus on the mind techniques
more. That's exactly what winners do. They practise until they
reach perfection. Imagine a high jumper who decided to give up
after they couldn't reach a certain height. The successful ones
don't give up. They picture themselves clearing a height they
haven't cleared before. They maintain the image of getting over
the bar in their unconscious minds and keep practising until they
achieve it.
Forget any silly excuses that may be going through your mind,
such as, 'I won't have time because of the kids' or 'It's going to
be difficult because I work long hours.' My response to this is,
'Loser!' I quickly get bored with all this hollow talk that today
we work long hours and it's hard to maintain a work/life balance
when you have children. What utter crap! Our ancestors would
just laugh out loud at this attitude. They used to work just as
hard, if not harder, than you do today and large families were
more common. In the 'PC world we live in today, the excuses are
allowed to spiral out of control.


Samantha had grown up in a family where meal times were a free
for All, a bit like a pride of lions eating as much as possible, as
quickly as possible before any rivals steal the food. As an adult,
she felt it was important to pile her plate high and eat until she felt
uncomfortably full. The result was that she Has four stone above
her ideal weight and deeply unhappy with the lack of self-control she
had when it came to food.
Working with Samantha over a period of weeks, I helped her
reprogramme her unconscious mind using the positive disassociation
[Technique 2] and DJP (Technique 3] programmes outlined above, so
that she still enjoyed regular meals, but in much smaller portions.

Of course, these powerful mind-programming techniques
will need to be done in partnership with practical actions. Let's
consider these practical steps.

5 The chances are you will regularly go to the supermarket.
I want you to take great joy in skipping by the frozen
chips and cream cakes you used to feel that you wanted.
People in the supermarket may look at you a bit strangely
because you've got a big grin on your face and a skip
in your step, but just remember you are being a Life Bitch
and so you don't give a damn what they think
Use common sense when cooking your fresh food. Ditch
the deep-fat fryer and use a low-fat spraying oil in the
frying pan if you are frying food. Bake potatoes or cut
homemade chips with the skins on and bake them in only
a little oil

When you are eating your plate of food remember that
you can leave some. Give yourself a pat on the back
each time you do this. It will condition your mind and
body to start accepting smaller portions

If you get a craving for a bag of pork scratch ings or a
frozen pizza loaded with meat and cheese, switch on
the red stop sign and picture the disgusting lard that you
would be putting into your mouth and adding on to your
body

I worked with Jonathan for some time and he Has a challenging subject
to help move forward; not only Has he fat, but he had a stammer.
Both are symptoms of low self-confidence and so my job was to
make Jonathan believe in himself and his abilities and programme
his mind to disassociate negativity about himself when it came to
overeating.	**
Here's what I did with Jonathan*

I asked him to go into a related state and in his mind picture a
fen'ced-off area with a closed gate around him. I then asked him to use
the pooler of his mind to open the gate and push through any thoughts
and impulses that stopped him from controlling his eating and weight,
in his mind, Jonathan saw these unhelpful and negative thoughts and
impulses as red dorrs which were pushed out as he breathed out. The
words were things like 'curry'/hungry'/biscuits'/snack time, and as he
made a mental picture of these and physically pushed them out of his
subconscious Jonathan felt the weight being lifted. As he breathed
in, Jonathan was asked to think about words and phrases that defined
his new Confidence and control, such as ideal body images slimmer
and proud to be in control".
I sent Jonathan. home and for five days he followed this
reprogramming routine, each day he spent five minutes in his alpha
state doing this exercise. Soon he found that he had started to
believe in his own brilliance and know that he could control his urge to
overeat.
To strengthen his new self-belief and to help control his urge
to overeat on impulse, I taught him another, quite tough, technique.
I asked him to think about something pretty unpleasant while having
snack impulses. The key was to get a gross image in his mind when
the compulsion to snack came into his mind. What worked for him was
imagining Vomit over the food he was looking at or thinking about and
then replacing those images with those of healthy foods. Jonathan
lost over a stone in five wiecks.

 Practise the self-hypnosis techniques in this chapter to
exercise your mind -it
is your most powerful organ.
F**k the food

Picture the scene. You are walking down the high street; you
pass some lovely clothes shops, book shops and a florist. At
very regular intervals you notice the greasy kebab shop, the fish
and chip shop, the additive-rich Chinese takeaway and, to top it
all, the cholesterol-rich burger joint. You need to start noticing
the healthier alternatives that most high streets offer when it
comes to quick bites for lunch etc. Lots of places now offer salads
and low-calorie sandwiches, juices and smoothies to give you the
pep you need.
All the junk food outlets are a big temptation for the fatties
who haven't yet taken responsibility for their weight problems and
instead treat themselves to fish and chips with a kebab on the side.
The odd visit to burger bars and open-all-hours fish and chip shops
is cool with me, but frequenting them several times a week is not.


We are forever tempted with fatty foods and processed mush
on the high street, TV commercials, billboard advertisements and
internet pop-ups. It is for that reason that I am going to give you
Life Bitch practical tips to avoid being tempted by this crap.

The dodgy server
Remember: people who work in fast-food outlets tend to be low-paid
and not highly motivated. Their bosses are driven by profit
and many have been caught out in the past cutting corners,
especially when it comes to public health and hygiene.
So, next time you go to a burger bar, please note that the service
assistant may have just returned from having a pee. And be aware
that many public toilets fail to provide hot water and soap, never
mind hand-drying facilities that actually work.
I remember my own horrible experience of visiting a burger
joint in Malta. At the counter, I noticed the fingernails of my
smiley server. Under his nails I could see grime, bogeys and other
unmentionables.
I think I have made my point.

Diabetes outrage
The processed and fast food that is so easily available is devastating
to our health if eaten to excess. The obesity that it causes can
commonly lead to potentially life-threatening Type 2 diabetes.
In fact, if you are obese you are more than twice as likely to
develop the condition than someone who has a normal body
weight. The reason for this is that being fat puts added pressure
on the body's ability to properly control blood sugar using its
natural insulin and therefore it is much more likely that you will
develop diabetes. The complications of the condition if it is not
treated and managed properly are worrying, including blindness
and problems with the feet and heart. And, most frightening of all,
it is likely to cut eight years from your life expectancy, according
to research by the University of Surrey.
As your Life Bitch, I think I need to point out to you that high
levels of fat and sugar in processed and junk food will more than
likely give you a very good chance of developing this worrying
condition. Don't go there -- follow the Life Bitch plan.

Look at the queue
Next time you are in town, take a look at the crew in the queue at
the chip shop. I would estimate that over half shouldn't be there
because they are obese. Imagine those that shouldn't be there
completely naked. What a ghastly sight! Watch them wobble
to the car, struggle to get in and take a good look at their huge
arses.
People become obsessed with takeaways and junk food and
crave the bucketloads of salt and fat that they contain. I remember
once when I was in a chip shop -yes,
I do on the odd occasion go
into them -- there was a really fat guy who came in and, with great
pride, ordered a large portion of chips and two steak and kidney
pies to go with them. I thought, 'What a greedy-guts,' but I was
even more shocked when the girl behind the counter said they
had run out of his favourite pastry-topped savouries. The look of
worry on the guy's face was ridiculous. He had to cancel the order
and turned to his wife and said, 'Don't worry, we'll go to the chip
shop at Spark Hill instead.' Get real, people!
Be repulsed by the thought of feeding on fat. If you are ever
tempted to join the fast-food queue too often, just grab hold of
some of your excess flesh and let this motivate you to go buy a
smoothie instead. You don't want to become a figure of fun, like
the guy frantically making his way to the chippie in Spark Hill.
trash to you. Then smile and affirm that you are in control and say
two powerful words to these producers. 'No thanks.' From here,
immediately allow your mind to wander on to some of the pleasant,
fresh food scents you come across in life: mint, lemon zest, tomatoes,
melon, fruit juice and homemade bread.

Shopping cheats
Sod the 'two for one' offers that bombard you as you walk down
the food aisles. You may think you are doing the right thing by
stocking up on an extra packet of frozen burgers for the family,
but the price in terms of health is too dear. Isn't it nice of these
food companies to help us to further clog up our arteries?

Think the stink
I want you to pay as much attention as possible to the smells of
fatty fast foods. Let the disgust feed your mind. In fact, to create a
real aversion to such fatty, smelly foods, you may want to imagine
being sick on the food itself, as my client Jonathan did in the 'real
life' example on page 92.1 remember going for a walk with Andrew,
another client, when we came into close contact with what I will
call a 'processed food' factory. The stink was cheesier than cheese.
Andrew suddenly stopped, went a strange colour and puked up all
over the path. I guess it's not surprising that he never ate cheese
again. Allow yourself to be angry with those that want to feed this
crap to you.

Show them what you are made of by stocking up on what makes
you a Life Bitch winner -fresh
fruit, vegetables, lean meats, fish and
wholegrain cereals will give you and your family a healthy future.


Take it away for good
You've become addicted to your Wednesday, Friday and Saturday
night takeaway treats. Have you any idea about the empty calories,
additives and dodgy Hygiene practices that throw themselves up
when you tuck into another takeaway meal? I used to wonder
if leftovers from the night before had ended up in my takeaway
and who may have sneezed over my so called 'treat'. When this
struck me as a possibility, I threw out all the takeaway menus and
decided this was a case of my own survival.
I want you to:

Go through your kitchen drawers and look at your pin
boards. Grab the takeaway menus, rip them up and
throw them in the bin. You'll get rid of the temptation
of having rubbish food delivered to your door when it
should be delivered straight into the trash

Walk tall past the takeaways that you come across
regularly and if you decide to stop and smell the food
cooking, imagine being overpowered by the stench until
you vomit over the food you are thinking of buying. Start
to associate the overused-cooking-oil smell with the smell
of vomit and you will break the habit

Keep a tin in your kitchen and every time you are
tempted to buy a takeaway, put in the money you would
have spent. Pretty soon it will mount up and you will
be able to put it towards buying some of the fab new
wardrobe that you will need when you've lost loads of
weight following the Life Bitch programme

Journal time
I want you to review what you've learnt from this chapter on how
to avoid the pitfalls of fast and processed food. Take out your Life
Bitch journal and note down the feelings, fears and hopes that
it has evoked. Write down the affirmations that you are going
to practise to help resist the temptations that may have become
embedded in your lifestyle.
Do this and it will give you another firm foundation to move
forward on the Life Bitch journey to a slim, trim you.
	Remember the dodgy server!
	Have a blood test to check you are not diabetic.
	Let the big buggers in the queue turn you off.
	Train yourself to be turned off by the unhealthy food you
once loved.
	Forget the processed-food special offers.
	Get rid of your takeaway menus.


 Record in your journal your thoughts and the actions you
need to take to avoid processed foods.
Food and exercise:
the right stuff



Now you've started to programme your unconscious mind
to think healthy, to think slim, to believe in a new you -- a
you who is a winner -- you need to ensure that your conscious mind
knows the part it has to play. You've installed positive messages
about achieving fitness and a slim, trim figure, but now what?
It's all about taking action. To help you, here is my three-week,
get-yourself-started plan. But be warned: once you embark
on this, you'll have to say goodbye to something that you've
nurtured -all
that fat you've so carelessly piled on. You'll have
to take responsibility for who you are and be a winner. The good
news is that now you have programmed your unconscious mind
to support you in your quest to become slimmer, the conscious
actions you must take to be healthy will be a lot easier.

Life fuel, not fat fuel
Your first task is to plan your daily menus for the next three
weeks. Why three weeks? Well, it takes about 21 days for a new
habit to be formed.
Start believing that preparing your own meals only takes a
little thought and a decent recipe book, even if you are not an
experienced cook. I know you will enjoy cooking your own food;
it will help relieve stress and will give you a sense of achievement.
More than anything else, cooking your own meals shows that you
are in control.
As I said before, I'm not going to give you a diet to follow what
you eat is your choice; how much you eat is your choice -but make sure that what you put into your mouth and the amount you
put into it supports what you believe in your mind: that you eat
healthily, you eat to be slim, you eat to be the you that you want
to be, the real you.
Most of you will know the sorts of food that never satisfy your
hunger and keep you fat -doughnuts,
crisps, cakes, sweets, sugary
drinks. I could go on and on, but you already know all the usual
suspects. Many of you will also have read enough diet books to
be experts in what not to eat and drink. You should already have
a good idea which foods help you to maintain a fabulous figure, a
bijou bum and solitary chin. But let me remind you of just some of
the fabulous options available from which to plan your three-week
menus. My list is based on plain common sense and hasn't been
taken from any of the diets out there.

	Vegetables: broccoli, cabbage, carrots, kale, asparagus,
mangetout, courgettes, aubergines, mushrooms, spinach,
sprouts, squash, pumpkin, potatoes (baked or boiled), green
beans, sweet potatoes, leeks, garlic, fennel, turnips, swede,
shallots

	Salads: tomatoes, lettuce, celery, onion, beetroot (not
pickled), bean sprouts, radish, peppers, cucumber

	Fruit: (always fresh rather than tinned) grapefruit (the Life
Bitch says try to start a meal with grapefruit as it can help
burn fat), apples, pears, plums, melons, oranges, grapes,
blueberries, pineapple, bananas, strawberries, raspberries,
mango, cherries, kiwi fruit, olives
	Meat: lean chicken breast, canned tuna in brine, tuna
steak, lean ham, turkey breast, turkey mince (can be used
instead of beef mince and it's a lot less fatty), lean cuts of
pork, fillet steak, fresh fish -especially
white fish

	Other proteins: tofu, pulses, baked beans, cottage
cheese, nuts (not roasted or salted)

	Carbs: High fibre cereals (avoid those with a high-sugar
content -the
Life Bitch recommends Weetabix or porridge
oats), wholemeal bread, brown rice, wholemeal pasta

	Misc: low-fat spread, low-sugar jam, Marmite, low-fat
yogurt, low-fat salad dressing, low-calorie dips, homemade
soups, soy sauce, herbs and spices, instant gravy from a
bouillon cube

	Drinks: water (the Life Bitch insists on a minimum of eight
glasses a day), diet drinks (in moderation), fresh juice,
skimmed milk, green tea, fruit tea, decaff tea and coffee

This list is clearly not exhaustive, but it gives you the general
idea -and,
let's face it, you do already know. You don't have to cut
out anything altogether, though, and you shouldn't shy away from
the occasional treat: a small takeaway (not an extra-large meal, or
a 12-inch pizza, deep crust with extra topping!), a regular-sized
chocolate bar, a cone of chips, a couple of glasses of wine -- but
only every now and then.

What to do on special occasions
If, during the three weeks, you attend any special occasions, such
as birthdays or weddings, just use your common sense and be
disciplined about how much you shovel on your plate at the buffet
table. It's easy to spoil for yourself what should be a pleasant
occasion by constantly being anxious about food, and it's equally
easy to use the occasion as an excuse not to start your three-week
plan or to sabotage it. Use plain common sense in selecting
the types and quantity of food you eat. Portion control is your
responsibility. The Life Bitch suggests a small portion would be
a tea cup not a mug.

Dos and don'ts for special occasions

1 Remember that temptation will be put in your way and that
you can pull out the red stop sign if you are about to lose
control.

2	If you are about to fall by the wayside and eat something that
you really shouldn't, use one of the powerful disassociation
techniques discussed earlier, like imagining the volau-vent
covered in vomit before it goes near your lips.

3	Have a treat -a
glass of champagne, a small piece of cake.

4	Take pride in your self-control and smile at your
achievement.

5	Get off your arse and have a dance if there's the opportunity, as it
will burn off the celebration food you've enjoyed in moderation.

6	Don't say 'Screw the diet' before you get to the occasion.
This is extreme weakness and I won't tolerate it.

7	Don't get smashed on any free booze as you'll then feel more
inclined to tuck into large quantities of unhealthy food.

Never say diet
Remember: in my opinion you don't need a commercial diet plan,
with recipe after recipe dictated for you that include ingredients
that you've never heard of and that you can't find in your local
supermarket. You don't need to be told what to eat; you already
know. It's simple, so no excuses.


The three-week food plan
Okay, now I want you to plan your three weeks of fabulous,
appetising menus. Remember: don't go into starvation mode.
Make sure that you eat three meals a day -breakfast,
lunch and
dinner. It's just a question of thinking simply and thinking ahead.
If you really don't have a clue where to start, take a look at the
sample daily menus on pages 239-251. The secret is to plan your
menus to sound tasty, exciting and more appealing than that bag of
chips or piece of cake. You may be worried that you'll feel hungry
during the day. When you're eating a healthy, well-balanced diet
of three meals a day, hunger is mostly in the mind, but when I was
losing my excess flab, if I was still genuinely hungry between
meals, I snacked on fruit, vegetables or nuts.
Regardless of what menus you plan, the Life Bitch has some
Ground Rules for you to follow
Grill, don't fry
Drink a pint of water before eating
Use a smaller plate than normal
Snack on fruit
Slow down as you eat: chew like you've never chewed
before
Leave some food on your plate and be proud of it

Here are some additional practical tips:

1	Buy one of your favourite types of melon and have a quarter
or half of it for breakfast one morning, spruced up with some
fresh ginger. The next day, use the remainder for your lunch
to form the basis of a fresh fruit salad with some strawberries
and pineapple

2	Roast a chicken and have some of it for your dinner with
some really nice, crisp vegetables, such as French beans,
broccoli and courgettes. Eat the leftovers the next day in a
salad with a few olives and sun-dried tomatoes.

3	Take some fresh salmon fillets and coat them with a little salt,
a drizzle of olive oil and some fresh basil. Pan-fry the fillets
and have one for dinner and keep one in the fridge to flake
into a green salad for your lunch the next day.

4	On Saturday morning, round up what remains of your
weekly supply of fresh fruit and blend them together with
a hint of honey and natural yogurt. You've got the perfect
smoothie and a great way to start your weekend.

Exercise
A common-sense and controlled approach to food is only one
weapon in the armoury you will use to fight fat. Exercise is
another, so now let's get your body moving.
It may have been years since you have bothered to do any form
of natural exercise. I don't mean going to the gym and becoming
a Muscle Mary, I simply mean getting your body moving or, less
politely, getting your arse off the sofa.It won't be just the crap food that you've shoved in your mouth
that's made your pot belly blossom or your thunder thighs expand
or your chin develop brothers and sisters; it'll be because you
haven't got off your fat arse and done some exercise.
So what can you do to change this?

Feel the burn

I can hear you: 'Please, Life Bitch, no burn. I'm too unfit.'
I'm not talking about jogging for an hour and not being able to
walk the next day. Oh no, you are going to start small and work
up to the big burns.
Firstly, forget joining a gym. Many overweight people join
with good intentions to attend regularly, but after the initial wave
of enthusiasm fail to keep it up. And that's if they even start to go
at all.
The Life Bitch prescription is as follows:

Stage 1

	Start walking, rather than taking the car, when you pop to
the shops

	If you get the bus regularly, start getting off a stop or two
early and walk the rest of the way home or to work or
wherever you are heading
	Three mornings a week, get yourself out of bed early and
go for a 45-minute walk before you start your working day.
This may sound like a lot, but one or two of the days could
be non-work days. If you feel that it is difficult to motivate
yourself to walk for walking's sake, maybe your walk could
have a focus, like going to pick up your newspaper, or
taking the dog for a walk
	Five evenings a week, go for another 45-minute walk
	Take the stairs rather than the lift whenever possible
	Have a dance to your favourite music when you're cleaning
	Don't shop on the net. Go out shopping

Stage 2

	Consider going on bike rides. This is something that you can
get the whole family to take part in

	Exercise aerobically for a minimum of 200 minutes a week,
and avoid letting two consecutive days pass without taking
such exercise. Use a couple of hefty cans from your larder
as weights to get the arms and heart going. Try it before
breakfast and just before dinner to burn up calories before
you eat.
You see, there's nothing hard in any of this; the key is to

DO IT!

One of my clients, Gemma, has come full Circle from being slender
to a self-confessed fatty, and back to slender. She put on the bulk
when she started to spend more time with her kids and got into home-Cooking
{and eating).
Gemma has taken Control of her eating habits and has literally
danced off the excess  weight. She saidI really wanted to celebrate
getting thinner and what a way she found through dance, something
that gives her a brilliant aerobic Workout and lets her exuberance
and sense of fun shine through.
The dancing has been combined with thinking sensibly about menu
choices, especially when she dines out. Gemma will check there's
something delicious to eat, but be careful not to make it calorie heavy.
Another one of Gemma's practical hints i like is to simply make
sure you don't go for long periods Without eating and then make the
fatal mistake of stuffing your face when food comes your way. She
eats before going to a business reception, for example, knowing that
she might go Without any food for hours and then be offered plates
of tempting, calorie-rich hors d'oeuVres.
One of her other little secrets is to break the weight loss down
into achievable goals and regards, so, for example, she buys herself
some new clothes after losing /5 pounds, arranges a special get away
after another 15 pounds and so on.

Gemma's weight-loss journey has inspired me to put together
some tips based on her sound advice.

1	Do cook with your kids, but focus on healthy eating.

2	If you are going out to a restaurant where you know there
will be loads of calorie-rich dishes, have a little something
healthy before you go. If you are a regular customer, pre-order
something healthy before you get there, so you don't
end up drooling over the menu.

3	Spend a few moments to think about a sport or hobby that
you have always wanted to do and set aside some time to
start doing it as soon as possible. This could be netball,
salsa dancing, ice skating, flying a kite -just
use your
imagination.

Eat for the need, not the greed.
Use your common sense to work out what foods you
should and shouldn't be eating.
Don't let special occasions ruin your good intentions.
Forget about faddy diets I
Plan some delicious, healthy menus.
Haul your fat arse off the couch and start to be more
active.

Booze busting

Don't skip this chapter if you don't drink because you can
evangelise the Life Bitch approach to keeping alcohol in
proportion to others. Let's face it, some people just don't know
when enough is enough, and then they end up looking like a
complete turkey and are full of regret the next day.
Booze hound or sensible snifter?
Gauging if you are drinking too much or drinking a sensible
amount per week is tricky because it depends on factors such as
your size and metabolic rate, but let's look to the Department of
Health for some basic guidance. They say a sensible amount is no
more than two to three units of alcohol per day for women and
three to four per day for men (two units is equal to a 175ml glass
of red or white wine or a pint of standard bitter).
I'm not going to preach to you as someone who's teetotal and
despises alcohol in all its wicked forms -I
like the odd glass of
Pinot Grigio or champagne -- but if you are a fatty and you drink,
then you need to cut down your alcohol intake as part of your Life
Bitch programme.
Take a look at the calories you can consume through booze
alone. It's scary! A 175ml glass of white wine is 150 calories and
a pint of cider is a whopping 250 calories; a few of these every day
and you stand little chance of losing weight because you've drunk
the calorie equivalent of scoffing a whole Indian takeaway with
naan bread in a couple of drinks! The other scary point is that
after a few drinks you will probably want that whole takeaway to
yourself anyway because alcohol sharpens the appetite.

Binning the booze
My approach to getting you to cut down on your alcohol intake
is simple:

	Firstly, make sure you don't drink every day of the week have
dry nights for four out of the seven

	Limit your booze intake to getting close to the daily
recommendations if you are way above them at the
moment, or to the daily recommendations themselves
if you are not

	Don't try to be clever by saving up your weekly allowance
for a blow-out on a Saturday night. You will harm your body
and be the centre of everyone's fun, with people laughing at
you rather than with you

	If you are going out with mates for a big night, make sure
you drink plenty of water and switch to soft drinks after
you've had your daily allowance. Feel proud of yourself
that you don't need to match your friends drink-for-drink and
ignore the drains who will say you are a 'lightweight'. That's
exactly what you want to be

Are you binge drinking?
If you are binge drinking, and by this I mean going well beyond
the daily alcohol guidelines for men and women on a regular basis,
then take a cold, hard look at yourself when you are sober.
To overcome the binge-drinking habit, I want you to do the
following:
Step 1: I want you to form a mental picture of yourself when you are at
the height of your lack of self-control -- perhaps you're being sick,
having to pee in the street or stuffing a greasy kebab down your
throat. Whatever it is that you end up doing because you've had
too much alcohol and it has dulled your senses and made you lose
all self-control, see yourself doing it and be disgusted. I want you
to be truly repulsed by these thoughts and images of yourself,
because you damn well should be.

Step 2; Before you next go out socially, count down from ten to one and
then picture yourself smiling and joking at the bar with a glass of
fruit juice in your hand. Come out of your self-hypnosis session
by counting from one to ten and saying to yourself, 'I'm relaxed,'
'I'm happy/ 'I'm looking forward to meeting my friends.' By using
this technique, you will feel relaxed and you will not need alcohol
to bring about a perceived state of calm in your mind.

Let me be direct with you. Who is really going to be impressed
with a beer-swilling, wine-guzzling, tummy-bouncing fatty at the
bar? What's more, if you are out on the pull beware, because if
you get lucky and spend the night with someone you are more
than likely going to be snoring, farting and, if you are a man,
suffering from penis malfunction. Folk do talk, so beware of
having a reputation as the one that can never get it up!
Combine the self-relaxation technique above with some self-discipline
and, whether you are out drinking or at home, have one or
two alcoholic drinks but no more! Keep in control and then switch
to soft drinks and water to keep you on the straight and narrow.

Alcohol has its own rewards
Yes, it's widely acknowledged that alcohol in moderation,
especially red wine, has some health benefits, but let's keep it in
perspective. Like the processed food that has become a problem
for many of you, alcohol is relatively cheap and easily available.
You can get it -delivered with your food shopping and there are
now around-the-clock pub hours, but do not use these as excuses
to drink too much.

Spend a little more than usual on a good vintage wine or a nice
bottle of bubbly and share it with friends. That day You don't
drink to excess and because of the good quality, you don't want
to. Think of this as a reward for being a great life Bitch and sticking to your target.
I'm not going to pick out an individual for a real-life look at the
impact of alcohol on weight loss and weight gain; I'm going bigger,
much bigger in fact, and looking at an entire country, its nice to
bitch about a group of people who tend to do a lot of bitching about
others themselves -- in this case, the "French.
I read not so long ago in the papers about a study which''exploded'
the myth that all French women are thin. And it's not only that they are
eating the wrong foods, a lot of them are drinking like fish, or should
I say p<?/ss0??s. The study found that just under 2o million of the 6>Z
million population were too fat and the growth trend was worst among
women, imagine my surprise when the article said that one in 3o French
women are drinking so much that they would be classed as alcoholics.
wen in France, where home-prepared food was once as sacred
as the ritual of eating around a table, the worst aspects of modern
culture have taken hold -- too much processed food, cheap alcohol
and more McDonald's than anywhere else except for America.
This was shocking news for me, but given the trend for binge eating
and drinking in the UK, perhaps it shouldn't have been.

Go back and look at the Fat in the Frame chapter where I
talk about role models. Your lack of control when it comes to
drinking alcohol sends terrible messages to children and young
people. I find this deeply worrying. It's up to you, as adults, to do
something about it.


Know and respect your healthy daily limit when it
comes to alcohol.
If you are a binge drinker, use the self-hypnosis
techniques in this chapter to end this disgusting
behaviour.
Give yourself a small allowance of the best alcohol you
can afford as a treat for reaching milestones on the Life
Bitch programme.
Use your common sense when it comes to alcohol and
be a positive role model to others, especially young
people.


Fat child of mine

If you have children, or close contact with kids through family,
friends or work then this chapter is of particular significance
to you.
We've all read about the obesity time bomb, the issue that
is now one of our biggest collective health concerns, but have
you stopped to think that you can guide your children so that
they don't fall into the obesity trap? If you haven't, then wake
up and smell the coffee -start
to think right now that it is your
responsibility and nobody else's.
When I see fat parents sitting stuffing their faces with burgers
and chips in front of their children, I cringe with disgust and
sadness. These parents are simply giving the green light to their
kids to go through life choosing the easy, unhealthy options when
it comes to food.

If you are one of those failing parents, shape up and give your
jaws a rest for a change. It is your job to be a positive role model,
one that demonstrates that weight control isn't hard, isn't a chore
and isn't something that should take the pleasure out of life.
Come to your senses because the truth is that if your kids
don't control their weight they may be bullied at school, face
discrimination when they go for job interviews, suffer ill-health
and ultimately die early. You made the decision to have kids, so
it is your job to look after them. Face up to your responsibilities
right here, right now.
This doesn't just apply to parents; it applies to grandparents,
uncles, aunts and anyone else who is in a position to be a positive
role model to a child. I don't have children, but I sure do see it
as my duty to shine as a healthy role model to my nieces and
nephews. I give them healthy food such as fruit, vegetables,
wholemeal bread and so on, but I also treat them to an ice cream
if it's a special occasion. They learn from me and their parents to
appreciate food as fuel for the body and enjoy the taste of good,
fresh food.

Becoming a role model
I want to give you a set of Life Bitch tips that will allow you to set
a brilliant example to your own children and all those who look
up to you. Make these part of your Life Bitch mission; help your
kids to become slim and, most of all, stay slim.

1	Debunk the junk. Throw away the crisps, biscuits and junk
food that are in your cupboards. Let your kids watch you
do this and take the time to explain why the empty calories
end up becoming a chain that drags you down. Have fun as
you do it. Ask the kids to smash up the trash food and throw
it hard into the bin. Tell them you are planning to change
the way you eat by using your common sense. As you do
this, show them excitement and joy that comes from eating
common-sense foods. Let them know that you don't need to
watch programmes telling you what to eat to be slim, as you
already know what you have to do. Yes, it's back to damn
well using your common sense.

2	When you have dumped the rubbish, take the time to sit
down with the kids and play the Life Bitch menu game.
Explain that you want them to use a common-sense approach
to eating healthy foods and invent a Life Bitch menu using
these principles. Show them the Life Bitch menu examples on
pages 239-51 and get them to have a go at drawing up
their own menus. Praise them and take them shopping to buy
the ingredients they need to prepare their menus with your
help. Tell your children the old adage that 'food tastes much
better when you've cooked it yourself. Put their menus on
show in the kitchen and take some pictures of the dishes they
enjoyed preparing, to act as inspiration as they progress.
3	Never, ever let your kids see you shovel heaps of junk food
down your throat. I was in the high street recently and saw a
young woman pushing a child in a pushchair while scoffing
a huge burger. Do you honestly think it was only I who felt
disgust? No, of course not. Here was a woman wearing clothes
that didn't do her justice -the
rolls of flesh dribbled over her
waistline and her bottom looked as though it could be used
as a flotation device. There are plenty of bad examples of
adults gorging on junk food everywhere you go, but enough is
enough. You are a Life Bitch role model who has to reject this.
See that red stop sign in your mind if you are ever tempted to
stuff garbage into your mouth, especially in front of the kids.

4	Don't be a losing, lazy lump and order your food online
to be delivered to your door. Not only does it show your
children how bone idle you are, but it removes the beneficial
physical activity associated with shopping and takes the kids
even further away from the reality of where food comes from.
This is a big no no for the Life Bitch. When you do need to
go food shopping, get your kids to help you put together
a healthy list of food that you will all enjoy and if possible
take them with you to pick the items and carry them home.
Perhaps use a points chart, scoring each item they suggest a
mark out of ten for healthiness. If they do really well, reward
them by agreeing to take them to the cinema or a trip to
Alton Towers in the school holidays. It's not difficult, is it?
Get Off Your Arse and Lose Weight

5	Kids should know their way around in the kitchen. Have
them help you to prepare healthy meals and get their hands
on fresh fruit and vegetables. Have fun with them and
they will understand you are a Life Bitch champion. Avoid
shouting at the kids if they make the odd mistake in the
kitchen. You might even pick up some creative ideas from
them. I remember my niece once teaching me how a little
shredded carrot in a fruit cocktail adds a crunchy, fruity feel.
She didn't get that from a book either.

6	You might have seen those disgusting images of mums passing
their kids burgers, chips and pies through a school fence in
South Yorkshire. This is an unforgivably bad example to kids
all over the country. All parents have got to encourage their,
children to eat balanced, healthy meals, not a pile of crap in a
polystyrene box. Make sure you support your school in providing your kids with healthy school dinners. Thanks to Jamie Oliver,
local authorities, schools and parents have acted to improve the
nutritional value and quality of school meals, and what we don't
need are parents sabotaging this great effort.

7	Get into the habit of showing your kids that it's okay to eat ice
cream and chocolate occasionally, but not too regularly. Let
them know that popcorn and ice cream is okay on a trip to
the cinema, but that then it's back to following the Life Bitch's
principles. I never advocate denying kids the occasional treat,
but I do advocate making the time to serve your kids healthy
meals. I really don't want to hear excuses such as, 'It's hard to
find the time/ 'They are picky eaters' or 'I want to give them
the food that makes them happy.' They are the future, so take
the time to put fresh, healthy food on their plates and teach
them that real food is fun. Just get off your arse and do it!

8 Something that many parents have lost sight of is the
importance of active play. Children need at least one hour
per day of decent exercise, and don't rely on their school
doing this for you. It's all too easy to allow your kids to
sit in front of the TV or play video games in their rooms
for hours on end. You have got to set an example and get
them outside and active, having fun and learning that daily
physical activity is essential. Go for a bike ride or have a
game of football, swingball, badminton or Frisbee. Teach
them how to play golf, take them out for a long walk with
the dog or set up a game of hide and seek in the park. There
is no end to the fun activities you can do with your children.
Not only will you all be burning calories, but you will also
bond as a family unit. Most children will be reasonably able
in at least one sport; if your child is good at something,
nurture their talent and reward it. If, for example, they are
passionate about tennis, pay for coaching, or if they are
football crazy, get them involved with a local youth team.
I hope you now understand just how important your role is in
helping your children develop good eating and exercise habits.
It's vital that you make the effort. Use the 'real life' examples
below as inspirations.

Julia, 37, is a single parent with one son, William, aged 12.
Julia wanted to be slim and so did her son, who was around 10 stone
oVerweight. it really hit home when on a holiday William took off his
shirt and was embarrassed about his shape in front of other kids.
Julia knew then that something had to be done. Together they planned
healthy menus and went shopping for ingredients, and she made it all
fun for William by introducing a points-for-health system.
Even though she worked full time, Julia made sure that she spent
time with her son in the evenings, doing practical tasks that contribute
to healthy eating and a balanced lifestyle. She would set up a rewards
scheme for William if he replaced the junk food he loved with healthier
alternatives. Together they planned and set the rewards from buying
him a basketball to redecorating his room together, as well as taking
him for walks at Weekends to his favourite park. They planned a
six-month strategy to condition their minds for health, fitness and
slimmer figures.
Within three months, they had both become trimmer and slimmer;
it was success all round. Further down the road, both are still firmly
in control. William is doing well at school and Julia reports a massive
improvement in his confidence.


Martin,  and Sonia,  were both clinically obese. Martin had a
heart attack and survived, and this was the wake-up call they both
needed. They jointly came to the realisation that their three children
Oliver, Claire, and Tom, 6, were becoming lethargic and fat.
Their first step was a conscious decision to increase physical
activity by going camping and walking in the countryside as a family.
This step up in family-focused physical activity was married to an
agreement to immediately Cut by 50 per cent the amount of takeaway
meals eaten by the family.
As an additional boost to the upsurge in physical activity, the
family agreed to start shopping together. They found they had fun
buying food for the healthy meals they had planned, and were burning
calories by getting out and about.
They launched ^Operation fat to Fit, putting up pictures in their
kitchen of healthy food and of families having fun and being active
together. The three-month programme of introducing commonsense
food and exercise choices, planning varied and tasty family meals
and sustainable weight loss has paid off: a total of 51lbs of family
fat was successfully shed in the three-month kick-start campaign to
lose weight.

An agreed incentive is helping their motivation to stay slim, if
after 12 months their weight is still at healthy levels, the family wil go to Euro Disney for a week.

Sally and Dave are friends of mine. A few years ago they adopted

Samara had grown up in a Country with a Completely different
culture and set of life values. She was a normal, healthy weight when
she was adopted, but within a Couple of years of starting school in the
UK, she had become obese, largely through spending her dinner money
on chips, crisps and chocolate. The situation got so bad that she was
sneaking chocolate into the house and helping herself to goodies
from the larder.
Realising that Samara had started to eat far too much fat and
sugary foods, her mum and dad decided to help her get back in control
with some sensible eating. They talked to their daughter about why she
was eating so much junk food and the answer was simple: it was something
that was completely new to her, her friends were eating it and she liked
the taste. Mum and Dad explained that she couldn't eat junk day in, day
out and that they would all work on a healthy-eating programme.
first, they arranged for Samara to start eating school meals
and agreed that only a small proportion of her pocket money could
be spent on sweets each week. Next, they encouraged her passion for
horses by arranging for her to do some part-time work at a local
livery yard.
Sally and Dave rewarded Samara for sticking to their agreed
healthy-eating plan with pieces of riding gear, from a hat to a new pair
of boots.
Samara found that she had got back to a healthy body weight within
four months and that she had a natural gift for working with horses.


Encourage your kids to help you throw out the junk food
in your fridge and cupboards.
Plan some delicious, nutritious Life Bitch menus with your
children.
Take the kids to the supermarket and make a game out of
shopping for healthy, common-sense foods.
Have fun in kitchen with your children.
Don't deny your kids an occasional treat.
Get active with your children.


From fatwalk to
catwalk
The Life Bitch is conscious that you have put in a huge amount
of effort to slim your body down. On your journey, you will
have had dreams of the clothes that you really want to be seen in.
Let's talk fatwalk to catwalk.
Now the time is right to get your image just as you want it to
be. It's time to glam up. You can now wear the clothes that make
you look gorgeous, move like a sex machine and ooze so much
panache that it's difficult to imagine that you were ever fat.
Praise be that the days have gone when you wobbled down the
road, completely out of puff. It's time you conjured up the image
of you walking down the catwalk.

You've earned it, so I want to pass on to you some top Life
Bitch advice about how to get your outward appearance right.
Several years ago, when I managed to leave behind my fat suit,
I had to think long and hard about making the most of my new
image. Having lost 36lbs, I wanted to look handsome and sexy
again, I wanted to make the best of what I had.
I chose the clothes that suited my body shape, found colours that
complimented my skin tone and flattered my features and selected
classic pieces that would form the basis of my wardrobe. I was also
aware that I had to have the right clothing for the right situation, so
that I was always projecting an image that was bang on.
Moving from fatwalk to catwalk made me feel simply fabulous.
Gone were the days when people blew raspberries behind my
back and so-called friends told me that I had nothing to worry
about regarding my obesity. I increased my confidence, flirted
more and achieved things in my life that I had only dreamt of
before. My career took off and I found my soul mate. The point I
am making here is that your appearance contributes massively to
how successful you are in moving your life forward in other key
areas outside weight loss.

Take stock of three core areas: the dress check, the appearance
check and your persona check.

The dress check

Now the time is here for you to look in the shops for the outfits
you never dared to wear before. Whether you like it or not, the
clothes you wear create an overall image that others will judge
you by in just a matter of seconds. In other words, the way you
dress will determine 'brand you'. Brand you is everything from
your personality to your appearance, but it is the latter that we
are concentrating on here.

But before we go any further, have a clearout right now of
clothes that are associated with you being fat. Put them in a bin
bag or three and take them to the local charity shop.
When shopping, box clever and try to go for the best quality
you can afford above quantity. Treat yourself to clothes made
from good fabrics that won't easily crease and buy simple, classic,
well-cut garments. Perhaps buy yourself two or three quality
outfits that can be mixed and matched with other clothes, but
that form the basis of a classy, chic wardrobe. I want your clothes
to make you look like you are an exclusive designer label in your
own right, rather than a bargain-basement sale item.
It may have been a while since you took a real interest in the
way you dressed, so here are some Life Bitch dress-check tips:



Check what colours suit you. Ask a shop assistant for
their candid opinion, or consult a friend. If you really
want to splash out, hire an image consultant

Think really hard about your image and the way you
want to look in different situations -at
work, when out
socialising, on special occasions. For example, if you
are going for a job interview wear a smart suit that's
cut to accentuate your best bits and choose some simple
accessories that will make you subtly stand out from the
crowd. For the girls, this could be one or two pieces of
jewellery, such as a necklace that draws attention to a
lovely neck or a nice belt that shows off your slimmer
waist. For the guys, consider a double-cuff shirt with
some swish cufflinks (nothing naff like boxing gloves or
sports cars!) and a tie that draws out and complements
details in the shirt and suit. If you have any doubts ask
your nearest and dearest or a friend for an opinion on
your choices


Make sure your shoes are polished and that they match
your outfit

Get inspiration on what's hot from the fashion pages of
good style bibles like Red, Grazia, or GQ and Esquire for you guys
Keep a note in your Life Bitch journal about what clothes
have made you feel really great and which outfits have
picked up the most unsolicited compliments. This will do
you the power of good

The appearance check

Once you've sorted out your wardrobe, it's time to take a look at
your personal appearance, so you can make the most of the fab
clothes you are now wearing. By appearance I mean everything
from your scent to your hairstyle.
The good news is that when you were fat you probably had to
apply masses of deodorant to combat your body odour, but now
that you are much fitter and slimmer you will be far less whiffy
and can think about perfumes and colognes. It is also highly
likely that you didn't pay much attention to your hair, make-up or
nails -- and, guys, this applies to you as well.
Let's go through the list of Life Bitch appearance tips.
Your hairstyle should be a priority. Go to a salon for a free
consultation. For years you may have let the hair fall like
rats' tails or stuck to a safe Purdy cut or the same old colour.
Well, as a Life Bitch, it's time to get it right. Go to the best
quality stylist you can afford. Make sure you give your stylist
an impression of the way you really want to look. Lookthrough magazines to find pictures of styles you think will
suit you and take them with you when you go to the salon
As well as the hair on your head, make sure you control
your facial and body hair. Keep your nasal hair and
those long, bushy eyebrows trimmed, clipped and
plucked. There's nothing more off-putting than meeting
someone for the first time and they've got facial hair
sprouting out of places it shouldn't be

Now for those nails. Keep them clean, tidy and manicured.
There's nothing worse than shaking someone's hand and
seeing a load of accumulated grime under the nails; it
makes you wonder what on earth they've been doing

When it comes to scents and colognes, go for something
that matches your spirit and personality, and, whatever
you do, don't splash it all over, so that people are
bowled over by the overpowering fragrance. If you are
buying a new scent, ask a friend for their opinion. Once
you know which scent best suits you, stick to it

We all hate being near people with bad breath, so take
care of your oral hygiene. Clean your teeth regularly,
especially after meals, and avoid eating food with strong
flavours if you are going to get up close and personal with
people you want to impress. Keep a breath-freshener about
your person. Now that you are smelling fabulous take
yourself off to a store that offers make-up demonstrations

Think carefully about your skin and make-up. Take
yourself off to a store that offers free makeup
demonstrations and let a professional advise you on what
really works for you and your image. Like everything
else, W's all about common sense and often less is more

Fellas, it's not uncommon to see guys with make-up on
these days, but if that's not your cup of tea, at least make
sure your skin is in good shape. Use quality moisturisers
and shaving balms to calm down razor burn and take
care of those pimples and blemishes

Your persona check
This is where you are going to see a vast improvement, Life
Bitches. Now that you are losing the chubs, your body glides, your
smile radiates and your physical animation excites. Your persona
is going to be magnetic. You are going to give men a hard on,
women the come on and yourself the good old 'bring it on'.
Develop some Life Bitch success habits when it comes to the way
you move, talk and pose. Don't be surprised to see fat people on the
periphery looking at you with envy. They want what you've got.

5 You probably didn't think about posture when you were a
chubby, but you need to be aware that the way you
carry yourself speaks volumes about you. Take a moment
to become aware of your posture. Walk tall now that you
are not curved over by all the excess fat

Go out of your way to observe the way slim people
stand, sit and walk and try to imitate them. Use the
power of your imagination -pretend
you are walking
down the catwalk or the red carpet at a celebrity bash

Make yourself more animated by using gestures. The
movement of your arms will add clout to your persona and
the impact you have on others. This will be easy now that
you have moved away from being a resident of chubby
land. Your gestures will make others interested in you and help you communicate more fully. For example, in a bar
talking to a stranger you may say, /I think it is important
for people to take personal responsibility and just go for
it.' On the word 'responsibility', point towards yourself.
On the words 'go for it', open out your arms, palms up,
and shake them a little. These small gesticulations will add
flavour, colour and excitement to your persona

Your facial expressions are going to be much more
interesting now that your blubbery cheeks have shrunk
and your eyes can be seen more clearly. Remember
and this isn't really such a cliche -the
eyes are the
doorway to your soul. Making eye contact with others
is crucial. It will tell them that you are confident and
interested in them. Combine great eye contact with
facial expressions that will light up the room with your
newfound confidence. Think proud thoughts about
yourself and smile and flirt with your eyes. Eye contact
will not only make you look confident and sincere, it will
create an intimacy that you may never have experienced
before

Your voice can at last project confidence. It's time to
make the most of your vocal equipment, be it at the
office, in the pub or in the bedroom. Watch you don't
go over the top, though, as this can be irritating. Train
your voice to sound confident by practising this simple
exercise. Imagine a situation you need your voice to
project, such as a blind date, a job interview or asking
your boss for a raise. Both sitting and standing, try
out different volumes, paces and inflections to develop
emphasis and distinction. It pays to exercise your vocal
muscles as much as your body muscles in order to
communicate effectively


Bret was a Fourty- year-old divorcey. He blamed pigging out and becoming
podgy on his failed relationship, in all he piled on three stone and
reported a complete lack of self-worth. He emailed me to ask for
support and I informed him that there would be no crying over spilt
milk (full-fat, of Course) and that he would be directed to make
immediate changes Without digging his heels and throttling tantrums.
Wanting to be more confident with people after losing his
fattiness, he concentrated on developing his outward appearance.
He worked on putting together a wardrobe that suited his character
and ambitions. part of this involved writing down the most common
situations that he found himself in, from going to work to going out on
a blind date. Together we looked at picking out the clothes that would
make him stand out as a smart, sditched-on guy. The results were
amazing! he went from humdrum to stunning Brum with a few careful
Choices of jackets, shirts and jeans.
We then moved on to working on his body language and making sure
he used eye contact to his advantage. Looking people in the eyes had
been something this man hadn't done well for years. Bret practised
and practised until his eye contact became what I call a conditioned
response. I practised gestures with him and even asked him to chat me
up! He did Very well. Bret started to attract more attention to himself
and went on to get a promotion at work and buy a new apartment where
he could entertain his ladies.


Amie was a 32-year-old dumpling who ate herself into such a state
that she was unable to fit in an aeroplane seat. She took control
and sought advice from the Life Bitch. A Combination of the mind-Control
techniques you have learnt and getting off her backside to
exercise allowed her to shed an amazing six. stone. Naturally, she
then wanted a man in her life. To achieve this, we worked hard on
developing strong body language by using gestures and got her into
the habit of Visualising herself engaging confidently with others,
decreasing weight and an increasing persona led her into the arms
of a man five years her junior, and a bit of a hunk, I have to say.


It's time to glam up, so start making an effort.
Show off the new you by buying some flattering, good-quality
outfits.
Take pride in your appearance. Get a new haircut, sort
out that unsightly facial hair and pamper yourself with a
manicure and some new makeup.
Think about how you present yourself to others. Stand
tall and proud, project your voice, make eye contact and
use body language to put your personality across.

Seasons to be bitchy
If you are wondering how you are going to cope with the
weight-loss
pressures and temptations of the beach holiday,
the spring weddings, the summer balls and the Christmas party
season, then I have some advice for you. I want you to use your
common sense and dig into the Life Bitch techniques we have
developed together.

These situations are often a real challenge for wannabe
slimmers and, boy, do they get overly dramatic about them! Yes,

we do normally celebrate with food and booze at these seasonal
events,' but your Life Bitch power is going to be so strong that
these situations are going to be a breeze for you.
I'm going to provide you with tips and tactics so that you will
not only get through these occasions, you will also enjoy them.

Beach holidays

Yes, if you are going on a beach holiday, you will feel the pressure.
You will desperately want to bare some flesh, but feel that you
can't let the folds feature. But get over it because you are with the
Life Bitch, and next time you go on holiday you will be slim and
gorgeous.

Preparing for the holiday that you deserve should include
packing a number of your Life Bitch tools. Take the following
items with you:
The sexy beach bikini you are going to slim into
Your list of Life Bitch affirmations

Life bitch menus. If you are taking a self-catering holiday,
follow them as closely as possible. If you're not cooking
for yourself, look at them to remind you of the kind of
food you should be ordering in restaurants

Your Life Bitch journal
A gross picture of you at your heaviest weight
This book -your
weight-loss lifebelt

As soon as you arrive at the resort, place your Life Bitch
affirmations in prominent places around your villa or hotel room,
so that you can easily read them. If anyone in your party thinks
you have gone a bit strange, just tell them that you most certainly
have -it
will take the wind out their sails every time. Place your
hideous fridge picture somewhere in the room where you are going
to see it constantly. Perhaps place it on the bathroom mirror or in
a frame on your bedside table.
You are going to enjoy your holiday so much more knowing
that you are in control and are continuing to shed weight.
Hang up that bikini in pride of place in your bedroom so that
you see it when you get up in the morning and when you go to
bed. Enjoy the self-belief that the next time that you come to
your favourite holiday resort you will be able to wear it. Let this
bikini inspire you every day while you are on holiday, knowing
that you are losing the 'fat duck' label and really going for that
transformation into the beautiful 'slim swan'.
It's not nice to see all those jelly bellies tanning up in the
summer sun, but I want you to have a peep. There is nothing
wrong with looking at the beached whales as you walk along the
beach or by the pool. Let it remind you of what you will become
if you end up caving in to the pressure to try real Madeira cake or
the range of local cheesesIt is hugely tempting to consistently overeat on an all-inclusive
holiday, where you can eat and drink as much as you can possibly
get inside you until you fall over. Keep centred in your mind the
thought that you are a true Life Bitch as you choose a small plate
and refuse to pile it as high as Mount Vesuvius. In many cases, the
alcohol will be Tree'. Yes, it's free from a monetary point of view,
but the real cost is the damage to your health and weight. If you
feel tempted to join others and drink until you are sloshed, take a
look at your Life Bitch journal and read about your commitment
to stick to the daily alcohol guidelines.
If it was up to me, these ridiculous eat-to-excess holidays
would be completely banned. What a bad example they set our
youngsters, and no wonder the number of obese people is starting
to outweigh those who have a healthy body weight. All they do
is encourage people to get as fat as possible. But not you, my Life
Bitch star, because you know better.
As you enter the dining room, step away from the holiday
treats -ice
cream, baklava, chocolate pudding, cream with your
strawberries and so on. Be strong and choose the lower-fat and
lower-sugar options, like sorbet and naturally sweet strawberries
without cream. Ask yourself, 'Is this platter going to make me
fatter?' If it is, then it is simple -say
'no'. Picture that slinky, sexy
bikini.
At night, dance until you sweat in the humid heat. Drink plenty
of water, and remember: no binge drinking, please. I want you
to visualise yourself next year, strutting your stuff on the dance
floor in a sexy little number that will turn heads. For you guys,
imagine losing the cerveza gut and spare-tyre hips, so you can
hold your head high on the dance floor.

The wedding slimmers
Got that hat? outfit at the ready? Is the weather looking good?
Attending someone's wedding is great, but the amount you eat
and drink can become a stone around your neck if you let it. Here
are a few tips to avoid pigging out, toasting the happy couple too
often and saying 'yes' to those desperate to buy you a drink.
At the reception, take the arrival drink and move on through.
Gently sip rather than throwing it down your neck. If another is
offered say, 'No, thanks.'
It is now time for the sit-down meal. Engage in conversation
with those at your table and don't be afraid to let out your charm.
You are becoming more charming by the day as a Life Bitch role
model, so enjoy it. Eat slowly and make sure you leave some of the
food on your plate. Sip your wine and mentally remind yourself
that you are firmly in control. Have a glass of water at hand and
take sips of this at regular intervals. As you look over at 18stone
Uncle George scoffing his third buttered roll as though tomorrow
won't arrive, let this reaffirm your success.
Getting through the speeches can be so dull, if we are honest.
Do you really want to know the details of how they met, what it
will be like with a new son-or
daughter-in-law and how beautiful

As the toasts come and
go, be in the habit of raising your glass without sipping a drop.
Watch the other sad buggers swallowing the lot and requesting
another glass.
As the early evening disco begins and Uncle Stan starts to
dance like a runny blancmange, watch with a sense of fun. As
others join him, get on the floor and strut your stuff. As you heat
up feel the calories burning away.
It's 9 p.m. and the lights come on. It's buffet time, and the queue
gets longer and longer as a row of salivating porkos just can't wait
to get a plate full of pie, chips, quiche and bread. Pop to the bar
at this stage for some water and when the queue has eventually
shrunk go up and get a nice plate of salad, a few sandwiches and
some fruit salad to follow. If there isn't any fruit salad, take just
a small portion of dessert. Avoid denying yourself; just let your
newfound control allow you to say, I'm satisfied.'
outfit. This extra support and the chance to donate to the ball's
nominated charity will really get you going.
You are wearing your dream outfit and you have a real bounce
in your step, not from the fat you used to carry, but from the joy
of knowing you look fantastic. As you take your welcome drink,
enjoy the slimmer you and the attention you are getting from
people who have not seen you in recent months. Talk to them,
while taking small sips of your drink, and savour the compliments
you are getting, not the fizz you are drinking.
Bounce with joy at the summer ball
Charity summer balls are more popular than ever and the chances
are that you will be asked to attend one. You'll face the welcome
drink as soon as you walk in, smell the wonderful dinner and feel
as though you are about to fall off the Life Bitch wagon. Well,
you're not going to because I won't let you.
Well before you attend the ball, get extra motivation by asking
family and friends to sponsor you to fit into your dream ball
Christmas parties
Working on preparing your mind can help loads with combating
the festive parties and their negative implications for people losing
weight. You need the ability to avoid the booze, Christmas cake,
sausage rolls, pork pies and chocolate truffles.
In November, begin affirming to yourself, while in the alpha
state, that you are in control, and visualise yourself looking and
sounding totally in control. Bring in contrasting thoughts about
the losers who say, 'I'm starting my diet in the New Year.' I betthey say this every Christmas and have been overweight for years.
You already know that the Life Bitch bans the word 'diet', so just
smile internally when you hear them say it and remember that you are losing weight in a long-term, sustainable way.
When you attend these parties, take your hideous picture
with you. Trot to the loo occasionally and take a look at it. Let it
remind you what's going to happen to your body if you give in to
a moment of weakness. There's no way you are going back to the
time when you struggled to find clothes you wanted to wear that
would fit you.
If there is someone at the party who catches your eye, make
sure you go and talk to them. As you engage in conversation
(with naughty thoughts in your mind), keep mentally reminding
yourself that in all likelihood they are not attracted by a sumo-type
figure.
When it comes to the food, design your plate of food to look like
you enjoy food, but not too much in comparison to the skyscrapers
that the others seem to have built and are demolishing all around
you.
If possible, plan to drive home, so that you can't drink alcohol.
In fact, volunteer to be a nominated driver. There'll be no peer
pressure because the pissheads will know you are doing them a
favour.
If you are going to have a few drinks, dig into your resolve
and make sure you limit yourself to a couple of glasses of wine or
single measures of spirits with low-calorie mixers.
Enjoy the party and be reassured that you are brilliant for
doing things the Life Bitch way. If you have been following my
programme for some time, then don't be surprised if a stranger
requests a kiss under the mistletoe!

Now you can let invites to social events bring a big smile to your
face and reinforce your motivation to be a Life Bitch slimming
success.

Stay strong when faced with temptation and pity the
whales that shovel it in.
Remind yourself of the slob you may become by looking
at your worst picture at times of weakness.
Eat slowly, sip gently and remember that you are in
control.

Enjoy!


Life bitch: the
three-month audit

If you are a true Life Bitch, then you will have stuck with all the
techniques explained in this book. If you did, then well done
you, and I hope you've rewarded yourself along the way.
If you have fallen off the Life Bitch wagon, stuffed your fat face
again and feel a bit of a failure, then I want you to know you are
right -you
are a true failure. But there is a way back on to the Life
Bitch weight-loss wagon. Just read on.
I am going to give you six Life Bitch actions to help you get back on trackCarry out the following Life Bitch actions and stick to them
tighter than those leggings that make you look like a whale. This
is the last-chance saloon for those who have fallen down, and
the're is no margin for failure. You have got to give this your all or
just walk away now.
Before you go through the steps please get the tears out of the
way. Yes, you failed and that was down to you, so don't bother
blaming anyone else. Just get on with it right now, please.

The actions

Action 1

Email the Life Bitch at info@lifebitch.com and let him know that
you are firmly in the driving seat and that there is no going back.
This will show that you have some commitment to the action
plan. Explain to me what life is going to be like when you are
a sexy princess or stud once again. Give me details on why you
have not kept up with the Life Bitch weight-loss programme and
affirm what you want to achieve and how you are going to get
there. Believe in yourself that you can do this. It is the first step
you need to take to catch up with the wagon, so let's keep rolling
in the right direction.

Action 2
With immediate effect, carry out the following mental exercises:

For three days, dissociate the pathetic mental states
you have not yet got rid of. I am calling them pathetic
because they are; they have constantly held you back.
And, be honest, you agree with me, don't you? All the
excuses and claptrap about being weak and craving
certain foods are to be ditched. Imagine them flying into
a bottomless pit, never to be seen or heard from again.

For three days after you have dissociated these warbling
excuses, place the success outcome in your mind by
seeing it, feeling it and hearing it. Enjoy this process
because it is shaping a new, confident, slimmer you.
Picture your success, the glamorous image you will have
and the fun, parties and sex you will enjoy as you hit
your ideal weight.

From then on, affirm to yourself powerful messages that
your situation has changed for the better and that when it
comes to weight loss you will never allow yourself to be
a brain-dead, losing, whining victim again. Instead, you
will be a Life Bitch king or queen, who holds their head
up proudly and looks people in the eye with confidence.
Action 3

Go out for a walk down the high street and look at the fat people.
Look at the family of fatties getting into their car. Look at their
spare tyres, droopy arses, floppy bingo wings and multiple chins.
See the car sag as it struggles to take the strain. It's sad and
revolting -this
is not for you anymore.
Have a look also at the snail-pace that fat people walk at and how
this irritates other pedestrians. They do this because they aren't
able to shift their fat arses at a reasonable pace anymore. Feel sorry
for these people and really install in your mind how you will be like
that if this time you don't succeed on the Life Bitch journey.
Finally, stop by one of your former fast-food haunts or cafes
and see those fatties stuffing down bacon butties, chips and fried
chicken. See the grease they lick from their lips and imagine it
sticking to their hips. Enough is enough -you
are dropping the
fat suit right now. Remember that your excess fat is just a suit that
you can choose to take off; underneath is the true you that is dying
to see the light of day.

Action 4

Make a timetable of the walks you are going to take in the next
month and put it on the wall. Plan these walks for early in the
morning, to show that you can get out of bed. The walks should get
longer in distance and become more intense. At the end of the month,
remember to try to take yourself to the top of a hill, to signify the
height of your achievement and your new outlook on the world.
Make sure you get the revolting picture of yourself back on the
fridge if you have taken it off. And now find more of these fatty
pictures and put one in the bathroom, one in the bedroom, one in
the car and one by the front door, so that you see it whenever you
leave the house.

Action 5

Plan your menus as usual, but this time take your time with them
and produce a porwolio, something you are really proud of. Plan
them for four weeks this time, and think about planning your
success dinner party and the special but healthy meal that you
will share with your friends.
This is your own a la carte Life Bitch menu-planner. If you
think one of your menu ideas should be shared with the Life Bitch
army, send it to the Life Bitch himself at info@lifebitch.com.

Do not, whatever you do, blame other factors for your lack of
weight control! It is all down to you. You always looked to blame
others for the reasons why you overate, but in truth you knew it
was down to your own self-control. Nobody else pushed the food
down your throat.
You are either going to stay in control as the driver of your
Life Bitch weight-loss wagon and drive it with a full, clean licence,
or you are going to rack up penalty points until you are banned
altogether. Believe me when I say that I have no time for you if you
collect points on the licence and will welcome you being banned
from driving your Life Bitch wagon if you are a weak-willed,
moaning victim.
On the other hand, if you are a successful, slimming winner, I
welcome you as part of my army. Completing this journey means
you are a role model and a friend of the Life Bitch. Well done!


Does the Life Bitch way work? You bet it does, and I'll prove
it by citing three of my success stories.

Get back on that wagon right now and stop whinging.
Email the Life Bitch and let him know that you are
committed to the programme.
Observe the pathetic fatties in the high street -you
don't
want to be like them anymore.
Timetable your da'rly walks and make sure you damn
well stick to it this time!
Put some real effort into planning your Life Bitch menus.
Remember that it's all down to you, so just get on with it.

Puddings to lean machines the Life Bitch way
In December 2006,I agreed to let the BBC film the Life Bitch
in action. I was so convinced that my approach worked that
I was willing to test it out in a prime-time evening slot. My
first task was to find willing volunteers, so I advertised for
participants. I needed to find a few guinea pigs I felt I could
work with and who had the strength to take it the Life Bitch
way -hard.
Having advertised, I then auditioned would-be
Life Bitchers, ultimately selecting four people. The challenge
I set myself and my participants was to get them to lose anaverage of at least three pounds per week over the three weeks
of the programme.
I needed to be assured that my Life Bitches in the making were
willing to provide at least 50 per cent of the motivation needed
to complete the programme; I'd provide the rest. I was looking
for people who had mental stability and who obviously needed a
change in lifestyle, people who wanted to move from being weeble
wobbles to pert pinups. The applicants had to convince me, in no
uncertain terms, that they deserved my time.

The people I selected had all tried lots of different diets, which of
course hadn't worked. This time would be different. My methods
would work, and in the three weeks they were with me, I would
set them on the road to a new lifestyle -one
of energy, personal
control and success.
These people had no medical condition or deep psychological
trauma that they could use as an excuse for being fat; they'd simply
become lazy and sedentary and, in a way, had given up. That was
until they met the Life Bitch.
Let me introduce you to my laboratory fats:

Andrew was 47 years old and weighed 21 stone 1lb. Simply
through being lazy, he was not shedding an ounce. He looked like
a bubble -- it was a bubble I was going to burst. Andrew explained
to me that he wanted to be 12 stone 7 pounds. He claimed he'd
tried Slimming World, WeightWatchers and Rosemary Conley all
good programmes -- but, for some reason, he remained fat.
I agreed to provide him with three weeks of no-nonsense Life
Bitch motivation to kick-start him -and,
believe me, the emphasis
was on the kick.

Kate was 25 years old and, simply put, she was enormous. At
just under 19 stone, she had eight stone to lose and, to be quite
honest, without the Life Bitch style of motivation, in my opinion,
she hadn't a hope. She had as much chance of losing weight as a
chocolate eclair had of remaining in her fridge for more than a
day. To make things worse, she explained that she hadn't eaten a
single vegetable for ten years.
Well, the Life Bitch was going to take care of that. It's amazing
what being blunt with people can do. I was going to make her
realise that she could eat vegetables and enjoy them:

Sandra was 56 years old, a bubbly extrovert and a highly
emotional character. She explained that she had tried Weight-Watchers,
Atkins, Slimmer's World and Rosemary Conley, but
she still had four stone to shift. In other words, through her
own lack of effort and focused motivation, she had failed.
Sandra was about to receive the biggest caning she had ever
known from the Life Bitch. I was to realise from working with
Sandra just how much people can enjoy a bit of caning!

The three-week programme, covered by the BBC, would include
menu planning, the application of clinical hypnosis, time with
the Life Bitch personal trainer to get them moving again and
a direct, no-bullshit approach. We also had to come up with a
lifestyle plan that they would continue on after the conclusion of
the three-week programme.
Let's have a look at what they did and didn't do.

Andrew DID
 have Several takeaway meals a week
have a lazy lie-in every weekend
have a stomach So big it was doubtful that he Could
See, let alone find his shoes. 
Stuff chocolate Crisps and Sweets into his mouth
Have a family with a history heart disease


Andrew DIDN'T
 Walked to work to work off his flab.|> eat usin0 his CotHmon SenSe
Get Strong and take responsibility
See the many people around him who took the mickey
out of him for being So fat
bounce back, even though others Could bounce off him

At one point in my initial interview with him, he came close
to tears; he had a 15-year-old daughter, he told me, and it was
his ambition to one day walk his daughter down the aisle on her
wedding day. At the size he was, he was afraid that he'd embarrass
her or maybe not even be around when that day came. He wanted
to be slim; he wanted to be fit.
He agreed that he would take on my non-politically-correct
style and shut up moaning, get working and do this for himself.
I discovered that Andrew was a keen singer with an amateur
dramatics group. That was good news -to
be so actively involved
in something in his spare time showed that he could muster self-discipline
and apply himself to a task when he wanted to. Very soon,
I decided, he would be singing 'Take My Breadth Away' instead of
'You Can Leave Your Fat On' and 'New Pork, New Pork'.

Kate DID
eat chocolate bars and bags of Crisps
every  day
try the odd diet for a few days, but would very  Soon
give them up.
recall when she wasn't as fat but unfortunately the
memory was fading.
go to the Jim in  the distant Past
recognise herself as a fat and lazy Slob
 catch sight of herself in the mirror and instantly cover up
try to squeeze into that special dress but would find it showed off her bumps and bulges. 
Kate DIDN'T
exercise at all Occasionally she would promise
herself she would do Some tomorrow which of Course
never Came
Control of her weight

Kate arrived at the audition for my Life Bitch programme
looking a little shy and timid, but behind her eyes I could see a
real determination to succeed.

She explained to me that when she was thinner she used to
skydive. Looking at her size, I thought that if she did this now,
then heaven help the person she might land on. She told me that
she loved it and really wanted to skydive again, for charity. It
didn't take me long to realise that this young woman, once she'd
heard my messages and been on the receiving end of the Life Bitch
motivation programme, would soon be whittling away the fat and
become a skydiving diva once again.

Sandra DID
Try umteen different comercial diets.
none of which
got her to her desired weight
in the past get initially excited about losing weight
but Soon lost that burst of enthusiasm, never lost
weight of any significance and gave up that routine where she ate bagels when she got
in from work followed by a full dinner and then
a binge-out while watching the Soaps -- a fantastic
recipe for piling it on
want to look Sexy in tight jeans and brown boots  but
was too fat.
Want to do what was necessary to achieve a good weight. 
Sandra DIDN'T
Bother thinking about which foods would get her to her goal.
have an ounce of motivation for the long haul
live in the real world. She thought weight  loss would
happen but failed to accept that it wouldn't
happen through a miracle and that she would have to
make it happen for herself

Sandra saw an advert for my Life Bitch programme in the local
paper. She finally took positive action and turned up to my audition.
She walked into the audition room, sat down and then screamed at
me, 'I want to do this! Accept me on this programme!' Sandra's
emotions were clearly running high. I made her work hard at
the audition, asking what she would do to make it work for her. I
demanded that she take my messages on board and told her there
would be no excuses allowed once she had signed up. The strength
of her feelings convinced me she was right for the Life Bitch way. It
was time to make Sandra sexy again, and I was going to do it.

Life Bitch winning formulae
From the very outset, I told the participants that if they were
going to whine and be serial complainers, I would have no time
for them. My time would only be given if they deserved it. Now
was the time for consistent effort on their part -a
bit here and
there would not be sufficient. I also told them that I expected to
see smiles on their faces, as the time they spent with me would not
be doom and gloom; it would be three weeks of celebration.
So, as you read this book, put a smile on your kisser. You have
a good reason to, because at last, you've found your path with the
Life Bitch way.

My next lesson was to get my role models to feel repulsed by fat,
and especially their own fat. I wanted them to see their fat for what
it was -ugly
and unhealthy. There was no room in my programme
for them to pretend that their excess weight was a result of past
emotional turmoil. In fact, I pointed out to them that many slim
folk are just as likely to have faced deep personal problems.
I made them find a picture of themselves looking fat, one which
repulsed them when they looked at it, and then stick it on their
fridge.

A central theme for the three-week programme was to install
success habits into their minds by using self-hypnosis. I ensured
that none of the participants was epileptic or suffering from
clinical depression, and so they were all able to undertake these
exercises.

Over a three-week period, they practised the techniques described
on pages 77-88. The aim was to encourage these people to get
in touch with their positive inner voices. Over the years Andrew,
Sandra and Kate had done little to change their failure states, so it
was no wonder that they were losing the battle to melt the fat; in
other words the loser talk they were giving themselves had become
unconscious; I was going to change all that. Motivation was going
to be drilled into their heads, come hell or high water.
I was going to make motivation an automatic response for
them. They were going to learn new success habits and make
these a normal part of their everyday lives. What they thought,
felt and did would automatically make them thinner.
I expected these new success habits to be visible in their homes;
this included positive statements plastered on the walls and food
in their fridges and cupboards that would drive them to slimness.
I demanded a weekly timetable of exercise. They were told I
would not accept weak excuses for not doing one hour's exercise
a day, which in this case was walking briskly, to burn the fat. The
exercise also included picking up litter in a local park -- a bit of
bending and stretching
is something that's good

Pinned up self afirming statements on their walls.


All three bought pedometers to make sure they were walking
enough. All able-bodied people should do 10,000 steps a day, but
these guys were told to increase this by at least 20 per cent.
You too should go out and buy a pedometer, but if you are
unsure about your ability to exercise or you have high blood
pressure, take advice from your doctor first.
The role models were then directed to think about something
that they could go out and buy which would act as an inspirational
tool for them. Perhaps something expensive, something that
would make them look and feel great when they slipped into it.
They each also went out and bought an item of clothing two sizes
smaller than their current measurement and were told to hang
this up where it would be constantly seen.
The participants were told to throw out any clutter which,
in my opinion, could hold them back, clutter such as exercise
videos, diet books and any other so-called slimming aids that in
the past had made absolutely no difference to them other than
creating a sense of failure and dismay. On a visit to Sandra, I
encouraged her to rip up a 'diet card' from a time when she
was a member of a slimmers' club, where everyone used to sit
round talking about how 'good' they had been -- or in many
cases, not. As she ripped it up, she became a real Life Bitch role
model, saying that this stupid weight loss group had been full
of whinging people who needed to get a life and just do it. It
was at that point that I knew Sandra was getting rid of her old
dead-end habits.
Over the three weeks, the theme of 'no excuses' continued. I
carried out spot-check visits to my role models and if the actions
I had ordered them to take weren't happening, I made it clear that
their blubber would remain.
They were all told to look out for people who were being
irresponsible. For example, if they witnessed a fellow lardy going
into the chip shop, they were to think, 'Get your fat, binge-eating,
lazy arse out of there, you stupid sod.' If you find this comment
offensive, then good! Perhaps you will be shaken into action for a
change. I've always said that restaurant doors should be a certain
width, so that if any able-bodied person can't fit through them,
they won't be allowed in.
All the role models were instructed not to step on the scales
for the first two weeks of the programme. If you are one of
those people that continually weighs themselves: GET A LIFE!
Jumping on the scales every day reeks of desperation. And anyway,
weighing yourself once every two weeks will excite you much
more when you see the weight you've lost.

Next, the Life Bitch role models were told to inspire three other
people around them to take the Life Bitch approach. Sandra, in
particular, rose to this challenge, telling her family to start taking
responsibility, to get out and walk and to get motivated or stay
fat. This is what you should be doing. To inspire others means
you are reinforcing your own worth and your success habits.
After two weeks, I allowed them to step onto the scales. I was
there to witness the results. Emotions ran high. Sandra screamed,
'Yes! Yes! Yes!' and punched the air as she realised she had dropped
ten pounds in two weeks. Next up was Andrew, who welled up
when he saw that, at last, his body had shrunk by eight pounds.
Finally, it was Kate's turn. Her confidence had begun to build up
and she looked radiant when the reading showed that she had
shed ten pounds. Amazing results.
During the final week, all of my participants continued their
regimes and I asked them to work even harder. I demanded
that they all lose one stone in weight by the end of week three.
Thereafter, it would be down to them to continue their significant
weight loss and weight-controlled lifestyles. The established
norm for long-term weight loss is one to two pounds per week,
but the Life Bitch way naturally sheds the weight more quickly
in this intensive three week kick-start. All confirmed that they
were still working with their unconscious minds, programming
in adverse reactions to fat and planting success habits.
I constantly reminded them, via emails and home visits, that
people who moan and do nothing are obese in attitude as well as
body, and that those who are action-machines are the ones who
get sexy, trendy, healthy and feel alive again.

The results

After sticking to my programme for three weeks my role models
were happy to find that:

their stomachs were travelling from fat to flat
their confidence was climbing high
their success habits were well and truly in place
Let's see how each of the participants did overall:

Andrew

Andrew's final result was excellent. At the end of the three weeks
he weighed in at 19 stone 6 pounds, a massive shift from his 21
stone 1 pound -- a loss of 23 pounds or well over a stone. In a
single week Andrew dropped 15 pounds which is radical, but not
surprising given that he was so overweight. Fantastic! Naturally,
he was delighted with this loss of lard, this blasting of the bloat.
Andrew said he found the programme easy to follow. In fact, he
enjoyed the challenge. My way to health wasn't too prescriptive
and, using the power of his mind, he was able to approach the
whole experience positively. He was driven to make commonsense
choices about what he ate. He found that through the use
of self-hypnosis, he didn't feel hungry. He never felt he hadn't
eaten enough. He found he was able to go from breakfast to
lunch without wanting to snack; the food he ate was keeping
him satisfied. In particular, he found the technique of associating
unhealthy, greasy food with letting his daughter down. In fact, he
found that the greasy smell of this food actually made him heave.
He was able to associate food-fat with own fat. This was good
news; his unconscious mind was updating itself-new
files were
being installed, old ones deleted.

Andrew found that the hardest part of his new lifestyle occurred
in the first week, when, because of many years of inactivity, he
found the walking hard. He experienced pain in his legs and got
blisters on his feet, but it wasn't long before this got better.
I asked Andrew if it was simply the changes he'd made in his
food consumption and his new exercise regime that had helped
produce his dramatic weight loss or whether other factors had
been important. He replied that other key factors had helped his
motivation and determination. These he discovered thanks to
my support. With my motivation methods, the key message had
penetrated his sluggish mind: 'Get off your arse and work it off!'
He had found my regular text messages to him urging him on to
success particularly helpful. Andrew had begun to welcome the
challenges he faced, was keen to continue and was already looking
to the next hurdle.

This was not difficult to anticipate. Over Andrew's three
successful weeks, he had had my support, my nagging and my
no-nonsense straight-talking to urge him on and keep him on
the right path. Now he had to go it alone. Had the three-week
programme been enough to change his habits long term? I asked
him exactly what he would be doing to ensure continued weight
loss. Successful though he had been, he was still a long way off his
desired weight. Andrew said that he was determined to work hard
and carry on with the instructions and advice I had given him. He
felt that he now had the support of those closest to him and that
this would help.
Andrew's colleagues had noticed and commented on the
positive changes they had witnessed, and this had been a great
extra motivator for Andrew. He also told me that others had been
interested in the programme he had followed -he
had inspired
them. And it wasn't just that he looked slimmer and healthier;
there were additional benefits from following my programme. His
psoriasis had begun to clear up and he felt more energetic and less
stressed. He said it was as if he was constantly detoxing his body.
And if these changes weren't enough, he also felt more confident.
Not only did he feel in control of what he put down his gullet,
he also felt more in control at work: he found he worked more
quickly and efficiently and his faith in his own judgement had
improved. Andrew now trusted his own decisions and no longer
dithered or constantly questioned himself.
Andrew had introduced a total change in his lifestyle. He felt
so positive that he was inspired to inspire others; his belief in the
benefits of the programme was absolute.
In my last session with Andrew, I gave him the following
advice:

He should continue with his self-hypnosis. I stressed that
he needed to keep this up or risk going backwards

He should keep the repulsive picture of himself on his
fridge door and his positive affirmations on the walls

He should picture two scenes. In the first scene he was
to imagine his daughter getting married. He wasn't
present -his
unhealthy weight and lifestyle had brought
on his premature death. Although this was in many ways
a happy day for his girl, she also felt deep sadness at
his absence. I told him to use his imagination to create
the scene, to really see it, hear it and feel it, as if it
was for real. He was then to pause and let his mind go
blank. Next, he was to picture a second scene -a
more
positive picture. He was to see his daughter's wedding
day again, but this time Andrew would be there -fit and healthy -and
would be part of the celebrations. For
this scene, he was to turn up the brightness and feel a
heightened sense of it

Kate

Starting out at 19 stone, Kate finished the three weeks at 17 stone 8 pounds. It was amazing to see a bubbly, very pretty woman
emerging from her podgy prison. It was clear that Kate would
be turning heads soon. In fact, she had already noticed admiring
glances coming her way and her confidence was cooking. She
knew she was moving from deep-frying to high-flying.
I asked Kate what the main thing was that had made this
programme work for her. Without hesitation, she said it was the
mind techniques and, in particular, using the mind to focus on
what is good and bad food. She also said that she had not found
the programme difficult to stick to and that the whole process had
rapidly got easier, mainly because it made her feel good; this new
lifestyle she was treating her body to felt very natural to her.
Hunger wasn't a problem for Kate, and after meals she felt
full. There were some temptations along the way, however. As she
worked in a nursery, there was often cake or chocolate available to
celebrate birthdays. How did Kate cope? She used her mind, as I
had advised her to. She would imagine something like baked beans
or vomit poured all over the tempting, sugary offerings and as a
result had absolutely no desire to eat them -well,
would you?
Kate clearly found the three-week programme more effective
than any commercial diet she had tried in the past and acknowledged
that it fitted into her day-to-day life much better than any of them.
Kate told me that the most difficult thing for her was getting
used to eating vegetables, but this did get easier -easy
in fact. She
saw vegetables in a different light to how she had before, and didn't
dismiss them out of hand. She tried them and enjoyed them. Her
previous dislike of them had been based on what she imagined rather
than experience. Her success with vegetables opened her mind to
try other food she had previously dismissed, such as salmon and
other fish, which again she found she enjoyed. Previous prejudices
against certain foods had been based on faulty thinking.
I wanted Kate to think of moving forward into the future. I
wanted her to envisage what her lifestyle was going to be like from
now on, to ensure that she continued to achieve her desired goals.
She said she intended to eat healthily, focus on portion control
and frequently imagine herself as slim, sexy and gorgeous. I asked
her what she thought the key to success was. Her answer? 'Don't
give any shit excuses for being fat; it's up to you what you make
of yourself, no one else. Ask yourself what you want to get out of
this.' I was impressed -- Life Bitch or what? Kate was enthused to
share her new passionate approach to life with others -- in fact,
with everyone.

I also wanted to know how Kate would cope without my
presence in her life, how she felt about going it alone. She was
firmly of the belief that she would carry on the programme
without difficulty, that she had the determination. She had the
support of her family (her mum had also lost weight and was
improving her fitness by joining Kate on her walks). Kate felt
that one big motivating factor for her was for people to notice her
as a slim, sexy woman. A real motivator would be her ability to
turn men's heads and feel sexy in herself. Kate needed to imagine
this end result, to see it, feel it and be it. I believed that this could
happen; the process had already started. Kate agteed. She told me
that, with her weight loss, she had been encouraged to go out in
a sexy top, something she hadn't done for a long, long time. She
was able to admire her curves, she saw that others noticed her,
she felt sexy.

A key to Kate's continued success would be to'keep seeing
herself as she wanted to be. My advice to Kate was to continue to
look at the repulsive picture of herself regularly and balance this
with the picture in her mind of the end result, of herself as a head-turner.
I knew she'd become a winner, who was proud to show off
her new figure.

Sandra

What can I say about Sandra? She was a star. Following her
progress on my programme, I knew I had found a Life Bitch
Model of Excellence! All my participants did well and faced their
challenges, all had a different story to tell of their progress and
the changes they had made in their lives, but it was clear to me
that, amidst all of this success, Sandra was the one who had grown
the most. It was wonderful to witness. When I told her she was
my Life Bitch Role Model of Excellence for the Midlands, she
leapt from her seat and cried with joy She was living proof that
anything was possible in just a three-week period.
Sandra had lost 16 pounds, going from 15 stone 5 pounds to
14 stone 3 pounds.

She said that her biggest motivator had been my belief in her,
which in turn had help foster her self-belief. Sandra had found
that it was mainly the use of self-hypnosis and positive self-talk
-done
on a daily basis -- that was the key to her success.
She was very much focused on herself and the goal she desired.
She discovered that it wasn't just about how she looked, but
also how she felt about herself. She told me that she often used
to think that others were thinking negative things about her, which meant that she had negative thoughts about herself. She
said that this was no longer the case. In the three weeks of the
programme, using the power of her mind to take control of
two areas of her life -- eating and exercise -- she had affected
much more profound changes than simply acquiring a slimmer,
healthier body. No longer did she perceive herself in a poor light
and her concerns about what others were thinking had gone.
Sandra's sense of self had blossomed into something wonderful.
All in three weeks! I was so proud of her, so impressed.
How easy or hard had she found the programme? Easy -- yes.
Hard -not
at all. Once she had organised herself and planned her
menus and her walking sessions, she found that the programme
became very natural. The planning put her in control of these
areas of her life.

She designated her own storage place for her food and enjoyed
planning menus. She ate healthily -- more fish, fresh vegetables,
reasonable portions. She experienced no cravings or hunger, except
for further success. She admitted that perhaps there had been a
couple of difficulties. She had begun drinking lots of water -her recommended eight glasses a day -- and she was finding that on
her walks she often needed the loo. So how did she solve this? She
planned the routes of her walks so that she could have loo breaks.
Eventually, as Sandra's body became accustomed to taking in this
extra liquid, this would no longer be an inconvenience. Also, at
the start, she had found herself out of breath after walking. This
didn't happen anymore and after each walk she felt energised, not
knackered.
Three weeks had changed Sandra's habits, and this in turn had
changed her life. I had inspired Sandra and she now had confidence
in herself, something that she was willing to pass on to others.
I asked Sandra what it felt like to be a role model, an example to
others, and she replied that she was so proud of herself. I wondered
what she would reply to someone who said that changing your life
in this way was too hard. Her answer? 'No it's not. You can do
anything!'
Sandra had appreciated my support throughout the three weeks
of the programme, although she did find my manner a bit scary to
start with. But I had made her think. I had made her use her mind
and helped her drill constructive messages into her head. From
my first meeting with Sandra, I knew she could succeed the Life
Bitch way. I saw beyond the anxiety, the fuss, the Drama Queen
in her.
As my support and belief in Sandra had been especially
important to her, I worried about how she would cope once
I withdrew some of my contact. Talking to her about this, I
was reassured. She said she felt very focused and was convinced
she would keep up her new lifestyle and achieve her goal. Her
big motivator was to picture herself looking good in jeans and
brown boots. I was in no doubt she would do it. I observed
that when I had first met Sandra, she hid her body, but now,
although she still did this to some degree, it was now much less
marked.

Sandra was proof that life can begin at 56 -for
her it had.

One more story
There is one further programme participant that I really want to
tell you about -Lisa.
Lisa is 45 years old. She has five kids, ranging in age from 27
to nine months, and one grandchild. If that isn't enough, she also
has a part-time job as a senior secretary.
Unlike the other participants, Lisa, at 12 stone 7 pounds, wasn't
massively overweight.
If anyone had excuses for not taking action, Lisa did: a large
family, a demanding job and not being too obviously overweight.
It would have been so easy for her to complain that she couldn't
meet the requirements of my programme, that she couldn't find
time to exercise or plan better meals, that her focus should be
wholly on her family and not herself, that she wasn't too bad
anyway. This was not Lisa's attitude though. She truly is an
inspiration to those of us who can find reason after reason for not
looking after ourselves.
Lisa wanted to lose weight and get fitter. My advert for the
Life Bitch programme caught her eye. She'd tried diets before and
failed, but being part of my no-nonsense programme appealed
to her. She sent me an email saying she needed a kick up the
backside, that she'd lost her motivation somewhere along the way,
and asking if I could help.
When I met her, she said she felt that she was always fighting
to keep her weight down. She'd tried all the diets and now wanted
something that would put her in control again.
I want to share Lisa's experience with you because, like many
people, she only had a relatively small amount of weight to lose. I
do know that it can be just as big a challenge for those people with
a little to lose as those who literally have mountains to shift. Lisa
rose to that challenge, and in the three weeks of the programme
went from 12 stone 7 pounds to 11 stone 7 pounds.
I wanted to know how my Life Bitch programme had worked
in her case. She said that the key for her had been to install positive
affirmations in her mind. She already knew the facts about food
and exercise -she
clearly understood what she ought to eat, what
she ought to do -- but she needed to actively take steps to engage
her mind in the process. I asked her if it had been easy to find
time to fit in regular self-hypnosis, menu planning and walking.
Lisa had realised that there is always time if you really want to do
something.
Lisa was prepared to take full control of her life, which in
her case was not easy. I remember visiting her house to find a
Brummie version of the Waltons -so
many people calling on her
time, so much activity going on all around. 'Quiet, John Boy! I'm
doing self-hypnosis!' I have to conclude that she's an excellent
role model to all those people who say that having kids makes it
hard to effect changes.
One thing that Lisa did was to initially concentrate on her eating habits. She didn't try to change her family's habits at the
same time. She fed the kids what they had been used to at the
start, introducing healthy changes slowly and imperceptibly, in
order to avoid unnecessary battles. She had to focus on her own
needs first. For example, Lisa would cook a pasta bake for the kids
and make a mixed-bean salad for herself. She would then give the
children a little bit of the salad and encourage them to try it with
her. By slowly introducing new foods to them and eating her own
healthy meals in front of them, her kids soon began to enjoy the
same meals she was eating.
At the end of the three-week programme Lisa had changed her
habits. She knew she was in control. She was surprised how easy
she had found the programme. In particular, she enjoyed making
exercise part of her life -she's
even joined a gym.
Lisa also reported other benefits that she hadn't anticipated.
She:

had more confidence

had more choice of clothes


Be a Life Bitch
in three weeks



What follows is an example of a Life Bitch three-week
plan. Use this plan for reference, to give you some
sound ideas of how to construct your own Life Bitch weight-control
strategy.

Week 1

Day 1

Make an appointment with your doctor to check out your ideal weight
and suitability for gentle, progressive exercise such as walking,
climbing stairs and swimming. Do not carry out what follows in
this suggested programme unless you have confirmed this with your
doctor or if you suffer from clinical depression or epilepsy.
When you get the green light, you have no lazy, fat-headed
excuses not to start the Life Bitch programme.
this is a new start, so first of all go and take a cold shower.
Allow the chill of the water to awaken your mind to what you are
going to become; at last, a move away from being a true porky As
you take this shower, give yourself a firm talking to as you soap
up the cellulite. If you find yourself a little tearful, let it all out;
these are tears of realisation because you have had one hell of a
wake-up call from your Life Bitch.
Tell yourself that things may not have worked out in the
past, but at last you have found someone that doesn't wrap it
up in cotton wool, someone who is going to ensure that you
keep your arse on the wagon. Let's face it, if you fell off now
you may bounce on those over-ample buttocks, but how long
would it take you to get back on it? You're so unfit, you'd
never catch up. In other words, chain yourself to the Life
Bitch wagon.
Now go downstairs and throw out the crap foods. You already
know what this means, so just do it. Once you've done this, pop
down to the local supermarket and buy some healthy goodies,
using your common sense. Ditch the pork scratchings in favour
of raw vegetable sticks and low-fat hummus; dunk the doughnuts
into the bin and get a punnet of fresh strawberries instead. You
know the score.
When you get home, plan creative menus for three weeks as
described on pages 239--51.

Day 2

Today you are going to go out and buy a couple of items of clothing
in a smaller size than the tents you currently wear. However,
please remember that I have no time for attention-seeking, size-zero
divas, so keep it realistic. Buy something that is going to
make you look and feel like a true sex bomb.
When you go to the counter to buy these clothes, look the
assistant in the eye and tell him or her that these clothes are for
you because you are a Life Bitch role model, someone who has got
bags of oomph and determination to achieve a successful weight
loss outcome. This is really important because you are already
mentally becoming conditioned to naturally get off your arse to
lose the saddlebags you carry round.
In the evening, go for a gentle 45-minute walk somewhere you'll
feel relaxed and uplifted. Breathe in some fresh air and pay attention
to the excess fat wobbling -every
bit of wobbling means an extra
bit of calorie busting. Smile as you walk and if you find yourself
start to whinge, just shut up. Consciously tell yourself that you are
going to increase your speed of walking and the distance you go
and picture the fat dropping off onto the pavement.

Day 3

It is time to go and dig the photo album out of the loft or garage.
Select one of the most disgusting, slob-like photographs you have
of yourself and pin it on the fridge. Make this the picture that you
are embarrassed to look at, the picture that, when you're showing
your album to friends, is the one you quickly grab and say, 'You
can't look at that one.'
Keep this nasty picture of you stuck firmly to the fridge door
for the duration of your Life Bitch success journey Each day, as you
look at that picture, allow the utter revulsion to flow through your
mind. When friends and family come to visit, ask them to look at
the picture and ask them what they really think of it. Let them know
that the elephant in the picture is the old you and it represents a
phase in your life when you were simply a greedy-guts.
In the evening, take another 45-minute walk, but this time take
a different route to show yourself that you really are going in a
new, positive direction.

Days 4-7
Place your affirmations, as described on page 53, where they can be
easily seen -on
your wardrobe door, in the loo, in your car and so on.
These messages will drip-feed into your mind every day,
ensuring that your success habits become more and more natural
and deeply embedded into your unconscious mind.

You are literally dumping out the rubbish and making room
for something new. Each day, in your relaxed alpha state, affirm to
yourself your positive life messages. Let them become an integral
part of you. Up your game, because by now you are feeling really
positive, and each evening take a 60-minute walk.

Week 2

Day 1

By now, you should already have lost some weight. If you haven't,
then you haven't carried out the plan properly and have been stupid
and lazy. So either start again on the Life Bitch path or stay fat.
If you have lost weight, then celebrate with a Life Bitch menu
of top-class fruit, vegetables and a glass of high-quality wine.
Then go for a refreshing and calorie-burning 60-minute walk and
smile like a real winner. Think about the journey that you have
come on so far. You've accepted that you were a loser in the past,
but have moved on by ditching the bad habits and garbage food
and making the life changes needed to be a Life Bitch winner.
On the walk, treat yourself to a bunch of flowers and when you
buy them, explain to the assistant why you are buying them. Let
them know you are a Life Bitch winner and what that means to
you.

You know what to eat to be slim now -- common-sense, low-fat,
natural, fresh food and smaller helpings. Keep up the good work!
Day 2
Go for an early-morning walk today for an hour. Get up nice and
early to prove to yourself that you are committed to change and
not scared of the challenge.
Practise some visualisation of the successful outcome you are
going to have. Picture yourself walking tall with a big smile on
your face, wearing the outfit you've dreamt of wearing for years.
This is a defined vision of you looking sexy and slender. Go for
it!

Days 3-5
On these days, I want you to leap out of bed early and go on a 60minute
walk. After each walk, take a shower and sing out loud. Yes,
sing. Don't worry if you are out of tune. I want you to sing loudly
a song that gives you energy and makes you feel like a winner.
Run your hands down your body and enjoy the feeling of success
you get out of knowing that you are achieving your life goal of
weight loss. When you get out of the shower, gently stretch your
body and smile as widely as possible, saying the words, At last I
am in control of my weight and am melting away the fat daily'
It has taken a lot of grit and determination to get where you are
now and you damn well should start appreciating yourself.
When it comes to eating, notice how you fill up a bit quicker
with every mouthful of food. That's simply because your stomach
is shrinking, and so is the desire to stuff your face like you used
to do.


Day 6
Today, think about the pathetic excuses you used to make -Til start losing weight tomorrow,' Tm happy being fat' and so on.
Write them down, look at them and then rip up the paper into
as many tiny little pieces as possible. Throw them in the toilet,
because that is where they belong, then pee on them. As you pee,
realise that those stupid excuses used by fat people are going to
be flushed away forever. This might sound unpleasant, but your
mind is going to remember this process and what you felt when
you did it. It is even better if you can do a number two on them as
well before you flush. Get rid of the crap with the crap!

Day 7

Some time today, I want you to clean your home while playing
your favourite music and dance yourself dizzy at the same time.
Imagine yourself with your new shape as you dance -you'll
enjoy
the experience and burn calories.
Today is treat day, so go out and buy yourself something special.
Maybe it is time to buy a new belt a couple of inches smaller or
some new sexy underwear. You and I both know you are going to
be irresistible now that you have chosen a new lifestyle. If you're
feeling flush, buy a digital camera to record the new you and
proudly fire off the pictures to your nearest and dearest.
Week 3

Day 1
By now, you have more than likely increased your energy levels,
so step up the speed of your daily walking. If you are in any doubt
about your ability to do this, then check things out with your
doctor. I want you to step up the speed so that the sweat runs
down your body. Imagine the sweat as fat literally melting from
you because it really is.
You will, by now, be starting to feel, bodily and mentally, that
your daily exercise is a pleasure, not a chore or a challenge, and
it will be giving you a natural buzz. It has replaced the highs you
sought through chocolate and junk food, and now you feel just
fantastic.

Day 2
Today it is time for more mental, as well as physical, exercise. I
want you to go into your mental 'motivation room' and talk to the
part of your mind responsible for controlling your weight. Thank
it, applaud it and ask it to carry on supporting you. Then affirm in
your mind once again how fantastic it feels to be in control, unlike
the other whingers who complain that they can't lose weight.
In the evening, go on another sweat-inducing walk. Go as
fast as you can and try and sweat so much that you really stink
when you get home. Let this be the odour of your success and a
reminder of your journey so far.


Day 3

Today you are not going to be politically correct. I want you to go out of your way to really observe fat people stuffing their
faces. Let this sickening sight repulse you. You'll find them in the
fast-food outlets, shovelling fat and sugar down their gullets. You
are not like those people now because you have shed pound after
pound and don't get turned on by junk food anymore.
That's simply because you are strong and in control. Remember
that it is the process of binge eating you are being repulsed by and
not the people themselves. To help yourself feel that you are in the
right, remember that we as a nation have collectively become the
lardarses of Europe.

Day 4

You are now becoming so in control that you can take down some
of the affirmations you've placed around the house and put them
away somewhere safe. However, keep the picture of yourself on the
fridge for a good few weeks yet, as we need that repulsion to stay
firmly in your mind. As you take the affirmations down, I want
you to mentally note that you are doing this because you have
regained control over your eating habits, exercise and weight.
Your life is now firmly on the right track.
As soon as you have done this, go out for a walk, smiling,
skipping and, of course, sweating. The time has come for a
celebration, so while you are on the walk, I want you to think of
who you are going to invite to a dinner party you will be holding
on day seven. Imagine the healthy meal you'll surprise them with
and the compliments they will give you when they see the new,
slimmer you.

Day 5
Come on, get out of bed and go for an early walk. If possible,
choose a route that takes you to the top of a hill, where you can see
for miles, and believe that the Life Bitch journey has taken you to
a new height of control over your destiny. Feel the joy.
When you get home, contact your day-seven dinner guests.
Invite as many or as few as you like. You may want to invite a
couple of fatty friends, so they can see just how in control you
are and what an inspiration you have become as a Life Bitch role
model.
When you have done this, start to plan your Life Bitch menu.
Remember: no crap foods. You are setting the example to yourself
and your friends.

Day 6
Today, get your arse out of bed and immediately read out loud the
Life Bitch pledge for long-term commitment, as set out below:

I am a Life Bitch winner

I have lost weight and will keep it off

^ I will never go back to being the ashamed fat lump I used \o be
I love my new-found energy and lust for life
I will always be a Life Bitch role model

Then go out for your morning walk. On the walk, think about
how the Life Bitch way has worked for you. You haven't needed
someone telling you what to eat -you
have used your common
sense. 'Diet' is a banned word; never tell people you have been
losing weight on a diet.

Have a look at the Life Bitch website www.lifebitch.com to
remind yourself that you are part of the Life Bitch army who
are doing it for themselves. Maybe even drop the Life Bitch an
email, sharing with him your success. Walk tall and sexy today.
Gosh, you are becoming a flirt, aren't you? Good for you, you've earned it!

Day 7

It's party time!

Prepare for the party. Write out your healthy menu and display
it on the table. Have some wine, but show how in control you are.
Explain how fantastic you feel and that being a fat, lazy sod is no
longer for you.

Show your friends that picture you never wanted others to see
along with a new snap of you in something sexy and bewitching.
Tell your guests that you are a Life Bitch and that you no
longer accept that your future is being a fat, weak slob. Explain
that you found it within yourself to change the course of your life
and-become a Life Bitch winner. Share a bottle of champagne with
your friends and toast your future as a Life Bitch role^ model.

Getting it off and
keeping it off
You've seen the success of just four of my clients, who are
living proof that the Life Bitch way works. You too can
follow in their footsteps. By employing my methods you can get
rid of that behemoth bottom, those titan tits, those hippo hips.

Getting it off

So what's the secret of getting the fat off and creating a fabulous
body for yourself? It's simple: just take note of following seven
points, and then DO them.

1 Stop going on about being too fat and the need to lose
weight. Stop talking about it. Apart from making you boring,
the more you talk rather than do, the more you try to analysethe problem, the more difficult this simple issue will seem.
Losing weight isn't rocket science; it isn't like you're working
out the meaning of life. It's easy. Accept it. Overcomplicating
' this problem is simply your way of excusing yourself from
taking action.

2	Follow my advice in Chapters 2 to 6. Get motivated and,
crucially, start to use my self-hypnosis techniques on a daily
basis. I cannot stress enough how important this aspect of the
Life Bitch programme is. If you don't do it, the programme
won't work.

3	Keep in your mind the thought that fat is repulsive.
Try this now: run your hands down your figure and
imagine how much of a turn off it would be to a lover to feel
your ripples, wobbles and waves.

4	Make sure that you plan your menus and let them guide you
when you shop for your weekly groceries. Take a shopping
list with you and stick to it. Use your common sense and eat
what you know is good for you. You don't need gimmicky
diets or the media to tell you what you already know. Keep
your menus simple and forget about the latest complicated
recipes.

5 When friends and family members tempt you with something
you know you shouldn't eat, avoid saying, 'No, I'm on a
diet.' Remember: diet is a dirty word! Instead say, 'No,
thanks. I don't want to be a fat pig.' If the person offering
you the extra helping of pie or second glass of wine is a
fat pig themselves and you feel this is too harsh, simply
say, 'No, thanks. I want to be slim and nothing will stop
me being that.' But consider sticking to the first reply-you might convert them to the Life Bitch way!

6	Look at the fat people you come across day to day and
remind yourself just how lazy they are. The only exercise they
probably do is lifting a knife and fork. Don't be like them. In
other words, get off your backside and start moving!

7	Finally accept you have joined project JFDI. JUST F***ING
DO IT!

If you've stuck with the book so far, I have every faith in you. I
know you can start to shift that excess weight and let the fabulous
you start to emerge.

Keeping it off
People often start their journey to weight loss well and then start
to Pile it back on, especially when the novelty has worn off.
Making the changes permanent is down to you. Remember
that becoming fat again is going to make you less attractive, lower
your confidence and might well lead to an earlier death. Surely
this, makes a healthier lifestyle an obvious choice?
Follow the advice in this book or revert back to boring other
people with your story about how much weight you once lost, but
how you put it back on again and now you want to lose that weight
again but there's never the time to do it. Do you honestly think
anybody gives a toss that you want to lose weight for the holidays
or that you'll start a weight-loss programme after Christmas? I
doubt it. No, actually I don't -- I know it.
So what's the secret of keeping the weight off?

1	If you carry out the self-hypnosis techniques on pages 77-88,
your unconscious mind will make weight control a natural part
of everyday living. If you haven't done the mind exercises,
then it won't. Again, I must stress the importance of this mind
work; it is fundamental to the Life Bitch programme.

2	As you start to lose weight, your stomach will shrink and
you will find portion control easier. You will find it difficult to
shovel in what you used to do; you'll wonder how you ever
managed it.

3	Affirm personal control. When you go shopping, be proud
you are now an arse-kicking Life Bitch who is buying clothes
in smaller sizes. Continue to notice the fatties around you,
lunging towards the doughnuts. Be repulsed and refuse to
join that club again.

4 Run your hands down your body and feel how different it
is now. Delight in the experience of being svelte, sexy and
flirty. If losing weight brought new opportunities such as
a love affair or better sex with your partner, enjoy it, but
remember that the joy of sex will be diminished if he or she
begins to notice that you're heavier when you're on top.

The slimmer's dream

I call this simple 'mind map' the slimmer's dream. It will help you
picture the journey you're on and stick to it.

As a successful slimmer, I see weight loss as being...'

Specific: I eat slowly, smile as I take pride in my new control,
make confident eye contact, wear smaller-sized clothes, swagger
proudly when I walk, tell people of my success, say 'No, thank you'
to crap food, ask for smaller portions, feel in control, confident
and sexy and am a bit of a flirt at times.
Measurable: I reach milestones, as defined in my vision of
reaching my ideal target weight and dress size, mentally seeing
that ultimate weight as reality right now.Achievable: I believe it is possible. (If you have any doubts, shout
out 'IT IS ACHIEVABLE!' and quit moaning.)
Realistic: I know it is common sense. Healthy foods are widely
available and cheap and I'm armed with mind techniques that will
boost my self-confidence and self-control.
Time-bound: My desired outcome will be achieved by... (Have a
realistic date in mind, and bloody well make sure you do it by then.)

Don't forget to walk tall, be proud and to take control of your life
right now.

Patricia contacted, me and explained that she had an under active
thyroid and wanted to lose weight. She was two stones and 5 pounds overweight 
and was desperate to get her weight down, as she had very high
Cholesterol and was Worried she might have a heart attack. Her
mother had died at 55 of heart failure, so you can imagine the anxiety
she felt at being so flabby. Recently, she emailed me to thank me for
the life Bitch approach. She is now 9 stone 13 pounds, at a height of
five feet four inches, and is obviously happier. What's more, she has
taken up indoor rock climbing and has loads of energy.
"Patricia is an inspiration to us all.



Stop whining and just do it. Follow the advice in this
book and the fat will melt away.
Don't forget your self-hypnosis techniques. They are
crucial to getting the weight off and, more importantly,
keeping it off.
Always keep the 'slimmer's dream7 in mind.


Green-eyed
monsters



Once you start to shed those unwelcome pounds you
will start to notice that people are treating you very
differently. There will be those who welcome the new you
wholeheartedly and unreservedly, those who are shocked and those
who become edgy and fearful. The latter can be real problems
for you. They are jealous that you look more attractive now and
they might even go as far as trying to sabotage your Life Bitch
programme and encourage you to pile on the lard again.
Be aware, in fact be very aware, of these green-eyed monsters.
They are the vicious bacteria that will do everything they can to
get you to stuff the crap nosh inside you again. As you now have
new-found self-esteem, self-worth and a positive outlook on life you
will find it easier to deal with these people. But let's think about
how to avoid and/or deal with the typical green-eyed monsters.

Monster 1: your partner
It is quite natural for your partner to become insecure as a result
of you looking slim and fabulous, so do your best to reassure
them.' Let them know that they are the one for you and that you
have never felt so good about your relationship. Be there, give
them time, be patient, but if they become so obsessed that they
want to put you on a leash, then it may be time to put your foot
down.
Explain that under no circumstances will you be the object
of their obsessive possession. Stay strong and let them see
just how loyal you are to the relationship. Don't stop showing
off your new, cute arse in the fashions that you have always
wanted to wear -- there is nothing wrong with that -- but let
them see that you always come home to them and that they
are what matters to you. If, however, their possessive attitude
continues and they continue to encourage you to eat extra
roasties or drink more wine, then you need to take stock of
your relationship.
You have moved on with your life and opened up a completely
new chapter. Your partner has to be able to cope with this. If they
can't, then perhaps you need to move on from them. Think about
the reasons why you were an overweight loser. Did your partner
hold you back? Did they drain you of motivation, add extra stress
to your life and make you feel useless? If the answer is yes, then
perhaps it is time to ditch them.

Monster 2: your best friend
Your best mate sees you losing the flab. You dance better than she
does when you're on a night out, men give you the eye more than
her and she is becoming insecure every time you dare to speak
to her man. Of course, you want to keep her as your best friend.
After all, she has supported you when you were a big bird and you
ate late-night curries together, gorged on cream cakes when times
got tough and shared a big tub of ice cream as you watched your
favourite movie together.

If you find yourself with a friend like this, make sure you
initially assure her that she is still your best mate and that if she
wants to follow your lead, you will be there for her all the way.
Don't get into an argument if she claims you are eyeing up her
bloke now that you have lost the weight -- this is pointless and a
waste of precious time and energy.
Say positive things to your friend like, 'You are looking fantastic
and those leggings really look good on you now that you have lost
a few pounds' or 'Thanks for stopping me from scoffing those
biscuits with my coffee.' Comment on what they are great at, even
if it's not getting off their fat arse and losing some weight. Look
like you mean it and make sure you sound excited, interested and happy-If
all fails and your friend remains a miserable, jealous pain
in the arse, get rid of them and make some new mates.
Let's face it, now that you are reborn, making friends has never
been easier. People want to get to know you and are inviting you
to social events a hell of a lot more. So don't feel that you will

be alone if you are forced to give the two-fingered salute to a
so-called 'best friend'. Celebrate, because you don't have time for
people who are emotional drains anymore.
Your new friends will see you as the butterfly who has cracked
the fat cocoon that held you back and will treat you as you should
be -- with respect, love and friendship.

Monster 3: your colleagues
Your workmates will either cheer or boo your successful trip to
Life Bitch triumph. As you drop the pounds, you will be treated
differently by the boss, the customers and the staff. You may well
find yourself becoming known as the bit of stuff in the department
because you look so good! Don't be surprised if phone numbers
are offered and the person you once dreamt of getting it on with
asks you out to dinner.
But beware of the colleagues who craftily pop a Twix on
your desk with morning coffee or place a piece of chocolate cake
on your desk because it's someone's birthday. If this happens,
remember your Life Bitch basics and do some self-affirmation:
you have become who you want to be and you are not going to
sneak a chocolate biscuit or three, you love what you have become
and you are in control, etc.
If you feel that you are about to give in to temptation, see that
big red stop sign. When you see and smell that chocolate cake,
engage your brain and say, I've gone off cake.' Just say 'no'!
Don't become too cocky as you lose the weight and start to feel
fabulous, but do stay strong. Be friendly and positive with your
colleagues, but let it be known that nothing will take your focus
off the Life Bitch course now. Take your lunch into work and if
people offer to take you out, be assertive and tell them you are too
busy. If a jealous workmate tries to coax you out to have a good
chat over a BLT sandwich and fries, stand tall and politely refuse,
unless you are sure that healthy options will be available.
There will be plenty of people at your workplace who will be
bowled over by your dramatic weight loss and new image and who
will give you loads of positive feedback. Feel fantastic, because
you have earned it.

Monster 4: your neighbour
Picture the scene. You have dropped a few dress sizes, feel fit and
have a glam new look, while Plain Jane next door remains a few
stone overweight and continues to wear those elastic-waisted
tracksuit trousers. She sees you walking out to the car, head held
high, proud, happy and looking like sex on legs. Because she is
insecure, she stops calling you or popping round for a cup of tea
(and, in her case, a packet of biscuits) and is distant when you
bump into her.

Don't let it get to you. She probably has low self-esteem and
blames her weight problem on some flimsy excuse that you know is just a silly escape hatchAt first, try to keep the relationship friendly. Ask her round
for a smoothie or make her feel special by asking her advice about
something. Leave a copy of your Life Bitch journal out for her to
see and encourage her to try it for herself. Maybe ask her to go
walking with you, but if you do take it easy, as it may be the first
time she's got off her arse and done a bit of exercise for years.
If all fails and the dismissive looks continue, the doorbell
doesn't ring and she keeps her man away from you, then enough is
enough. Let her go and leave her to remain the victim she seems
to enjoy being. Remember: it's not your problem, it's hers.

Monster 5: your family
This is a hard one because your nearest and dearest should really
have been supportive of your Life Bitch programme and overjoyed
by your weight loss. However, you might have siblings, teenage
kids, parents etc. who could do with shifting their own saddlebags,
and seeing you succeed in this may trigger their jealousy.
It might be that you have a teenage daughter who is finding it
hard to get the boy she wants because she is overweight, while you
have found new love because of the new you. If she's showing signs
of jealousy, be sensible and explain that you have achieved your
life dream by shedding the fat. Tell her that you will help her to
successfully lose weight through the Life Bitch programme. Above
all, get her to understand that no one else can lose weight for her,
but that she already has the motivation within her to succeed.
Perhaps your dad has let himself go around the middle and you
have shared jokes in the past about your bulging turns. Now you
have slimmed down, you think your dad is treating you differently
and not cuddling you as much as he used to. This is a classic sign
of insecurity. He needs to do something about it and he can, with
your help. Sit down with him and tell him how you now feel as a
Life Bitch role model. Discuss your new confidence and the joy
you are experiencing because you are slimmer. Tell your dad you
love him and want him to get on the Life Bitch programme. Let
him know that his age is not an excuse not to lose weight and that
he would be setting the younger people in the family a brilliant
example by getting rid of the turn. He will respect you for being
honest with him.

Although facing the jealousy caused by the new you and dealing
with it can be difficult, it can also help with your long-term
motivation. People are being jealous for one reason: they want
to look and feel like you. Use this as something positive to keep
fuelling your Life Bitch motivation. Even if someone is being
horrible to you, smile, look into their eyes and say, 1 can help you
to get slim and feel like you are on top of the world.'


Be patient with your partner and reassure them that you
are still there for them, but if they continue to hold you
back, it's time to take stock of the relationship.
If your friends are unable to support you on your journey
to a new, slimmer you, it's time to put your newfound
confidence to good use and make some new ones.
Keep an eye out for green-eyed monsters that try crafty
tricks to get you to stuff crap food in your gob.
Be a role model to your family and encourage them to
join you on your journey.
Be friendly and positive to all those around you, but stay
strong!

Bitch be good

^^ o you like being a role model for the Life Bitch army and you
enjoy shouting about the new you and the self-control you
have when it comes to sensible eating and exercise. I welcome you
on board, but I want to make certain things clear as you champion
our common cause. Being a Life Bitch isn't about shouting and
bullying people into doing things they don't want to do. It's about
providing strong, direct guidance to help move people away from
a fat, sedentary lifestyle.
If, at the end of the day, people want to go week after week
to a slimming club to talk about how 'naughty' they have been
for sneaking a bar of chocolate because they were a bit down,
then let them. These are the people who will remain stuck in
the same rut, and, no matter how hard you try, you won't kick
them out of it.

I know this isn't your style because you have chosen the Life
Bitch way, but some people seem to live for the latest fad diet and
slimming group. They are life's victims, who love being caught in
this 'cycle of talk and no real action.
As a Life Bitch model of excellence, I actively encourage you to
offer advice to friends and family about the practical things they
can do to turn around their lazy minds, bubble-like figures and
conditioned bad habits. But how you do this is really important.
Being fair and assertive, rather than aggressive and undermining,
is the key. It is the assertive style of Life Bitching that I want you
to learn.
By assertive, I mean firmly leading your family and friends
by positive examples, such as cutting out your dependency on
takeaway meals and supermarket food deliveries. Tell people
that you are leading a new lifestyle and be firm and confident
when you encounter their natural resistance to change. If you are
trying to change your family's habits, be fair with them; allow the
occasional treat and give them goals to work with you on, like a
family trip to your nearest theme park.


It is, at the end of the day, their choice. If they want to stay fat,
then, short of muzzling them, there isn't much you can do. The
assertive Life Bitch states clearly what she or he thinks should
happen in a direct, firm manner and at the same time recognises
that others may disagree.
To deal with disagreements, you will need to hone your
negotiation skills, partly by using rewards and partly by realising
that other people's ability and commitment to change their
lifestyles may not be as great as yours. Stick to your guns and
keep plugging away, and it will rub off on them. They will become
more involved and start to do things the Life Bitch way.

How to be assertive the Life Bitch way
I want you to consider the following advice on being assertive:

Being assertive is totally different from being aggressive.
Aggressive Life Bitching is when you want to get your
own way at all costs, ignoring the other person's point
of view. If you ever feel this happening, take some deep
breaths and calm down. If you can't, leave the room.
Once you have relaxed, think negotiation

Negotiation. Your family and friends are likely to
have different values and priorities to you. Don't ride
roughshod over them when you are trying to win them
over to the Life Bitch way of thinking
Use your brain and think about what will attract their
support and commitment. For example, if your partner
assumes you can't cook, won't cook and that's why
you buy in processed ready-meals and takeaways,
surprise them with a fail-safe, healthy meal that you have
prepared from scratch. Enjoy their disbelief and pleasure
when they find out this was all your own work, and tell
them that they can look forward to more of the same. To
take another example, motivate your kids to get active by
spending whatever you can afford on some sports kit or
equipment for them

Keep it simple and it will work.
Clearly explain to your family and friends the actions that
you want to take and what your goals are. Just binning
all their favourite snacks without telling them first will piss
them off royally. You need to involve them and get them
to agree, however grudgingly, to support you on your
journey

Lead by example and pin up the pictures of you that
were under lock and key before. Show your loved ones
that you are determined to change your life and they
will start to engage with you about it. This confidence to
move things forward will inspire them as well as you

Crucial to your role as an assertive Life Bitch h your
ability and desire to actively listen to the views of others.
You have got to appreciate and respect other points of
view, even if you disagree

When you have listened to what someone has to say, state
what you think. Speak calmly and use the T stance to emphasise
this is your personal opinion. For example, you might say, 'I
appreciate that you think it is harder to lose weight as you get
older, but I consider this to be an escape hatch that people use
to stay fat.' Demonstrate empathy by discussing in detail the
reasons why they feel getting older blocks weight loss and then
conclude the conversation with your point of view. For example,
'I appreciate that you think it is harder to lose weight as you get older because you can't exercise as much and your metabolism
has slowed down, but I still think this isn't a valid excuse, as
exercise can be as gentle as walking for half an hour, doing a
bit of gardening or getting off the bus a stop or two early, and
by doing this you will speed up your metabolism. Therefore, I
would always advise people to rid themselves of excuses and put
in some work to get slim.'

Proactive Life BitchingTh
There will be plenty of opportunities for you to evangelise about the Life Bitch approach to weight loss, and I would like you toseize them. You will get others to take control of their weight and
it will make you feel brilliant.
Your achievement needs to be shouted from the rooftops, and
if this can benefit others, then it is all good stuff. Walk tall, ooze
confidence and tell people why the Life Bitch is working for you.
Let me give you some tips to help you become a proactive Life
Bitch.

1	Offer advice on how people can programme their minds.
Describe to them some of the techniques in this book.
Point out the particular techniques that worked for you and
motivated your mind to slim down naturally.

2	Offer to give them a written list of the typical excuses we
use for not losing weight. Then offer a Life Bitch response to
each.

3	Recommend some initial steps to take, such as buying a
piece of clothing a couple of sizes smaller and hanging it
in plain sight at home or the ritual of throwing out the junk
food/processed food with the trash.

4	Show your friends how to design a Life Bitch menu. Tell them
which ones worked for you. Even better, invite them over for
a Life Bitch meal you have prepared using fresh, exciting
and healthy ingredients.

5	Teach your friends and family to say 'f**k off' to crap food.
Explain to them how you manage to resist too many portions
of fish and chips or a heart-stopping burger.

6	Share with others the Life Bitch way to help kids be truly
healthy in what they eat and how to get them to become
more physically active.

7	Tell people that you are a Life Bitch who can identify the
'drains' that keep holding you back. Give them examples of
unhelpful comments like, 'You don't need to lose any weight,'
'What's wrong with carrying a few extra pounds?' or 'It's
Friday -let
your hair down and have a cake.' Challenge
them to say 'no' to anything that they don't want to eat.


Share with others the support and direction that you have
got by keeping a Life Bitch journal. Explain that being honest
with themselves and remembering key techniques and
affirmations by writing them down is vital to progressive,
sustainable weight loss.

Now that you are aware of what it means to be a Life Bitch role
model and how to conduct yourself, I want you to lose no time
and start Life Bitching for the good of everyone. Get the word out
and start to be an inspiration to those you love.

Concentrate on being assertive rather than aggressive.
Hone your negotiation skills.	/
Lead others by example.
Try to empathise with people and never be rude or
dismissive.
Be a proactive Life Bitch and encourage others to join the
programme by offering advice on the initial steps they
should take.

When Is Slim too Slim?


As the chapter title suggests, the issue of 'when is slim too
slim' is a very tricky one; it is a thin line. There's constant
media hype surrounding celebrities and models who are painfully
thin. The problem is that one minute a glossy magazine is placing
stick-thin people on a pedestal and the next minute they are
saying that so-and-so has got too thin and has a problem. My
advice is to step away from this debate and not let yourself be
driven by the media when making life choices, especially when it
comes to body image.
As your Life Bitch, I do not endorse trying to achieve
a pencil-thin body. Yes, there are people out there who are
naturally super-skinny or 'size zero', call it what you will. It is
for that reason that I want to drum it into you that once your
ideal weight has been achieved you should stick to it. You look
great -- enjoy it! Don't carry on shedding weight, so that you
look unhealthy or worse.
You should have consulted your doctor before starting on this
Life Bitch journey and therefore will have a professional opinion
on what the ideal weight is for your gender, age and height. This
has been the target and the reason for following the Life Bitch
programme, so make sure you stick to it. I don't want any bullshit
excuses for crossing the line.

How to avoid crossing the thin line

1	Stay grounded. You have harnessed control of your mind
and body, but I want you to be grounded at all times and not
abuse your new power. I want you to consciously monitor
your thought patterns and if you hear yourself say 'Just a few
more pounds' when you have hit your ideal weight, then
picture that big red stop sign. You are not, in fact, in control
anymore if you deliberately go under your ideal weight, and
I certainly do not want you as one of the Life Bitch army.

2	Use your Life Bitch journal to track your progress to your
ideal body weight and don't avoid logging your progress if
you go below this weight, so that you can see it in black and
white. In fact, record this in red, because you are starting to
cross into a potentially dangerous zone.
Get Off Your Arse and Lose Weight

Make yourself aware that people who are very thin don't
actually look good. How many times have you heard people
comment on how bony someone looks, that they could do
with a good meal? Stick-thin and bony is not attractive. You
might find it difficult to find adult clothes, and those that you
do find will hang off you. Remind yourself of that, please.
And I don't want to hear any bollocks about losing a bit
extra now so you can go on a booze fest at the end of the
month. That is a terrible attitude; you will be damaging your
mind and body.

Remind yourself again that when you have hit your ideal
weight, you can have the odd plate of fish and chips. Stay
realistic and in control by reaffirming to yourself that you
made the situation good under your own steam and that you
now eat sensibly and exercise frequently, but that you also
recognise that joining the size-zero clan is not for you and
will never happen.

Keep visualising your ideal shape and notice that it is
not bony and stick-thin. Make sure that you carry out this
visualisation technique at least three times a day. This will
then be firmly embedded in your unconscious mind and will
protect you from crossing the line.

6 Avoid looking in magazines that portray 'their' ideal shape,
as it's likely* to be a skeletal one. The models that go on
Operation Starvation look bloody awful. So get it right out
' of your head that you will look more attractive and pull new
lovers if your bones are sticking out. Yes, you will be looked
at, but for all the wrong reasons. Ditch the magazines and
be proud to tell your friends that you don't take any notice of
them anymore when they start discussing how thin the latest
Hollywood stars look. Tell them you love the way you look
and feel proud that you aren't following the pack.

7 You won't ever need to cross the line if you stick to the Life
Bitch way of losing weight because it is the right way. You
must exercise and eat regularly and correctly, and at all
times keep weight loss in perspective. Never starve yourself
or try to lose 30 pounds in a month. You know the score. It
is common sense -around
two or three pounds per week
is healthy. Life Bitch winners are sensible, practical thinkers
who use their minds not their emotions to make decisions
about eating.

8 Working with your Life Bitch buddy will help you to keep it
real and make sure you stay on target for your ideal body
weight, not above or below it. They will be on hand to tell
you if you have overstepped the mark.

9 Remember that you are a Life Bitch role model and going
under your ideal weight sets a piss-poor example, especially
to young people.

If you find yourself obsessing about losing more weight than you
should, visit your GP because there are some real and present
dangers to consider, as the following case study outlines.

I really want to highlight the point that becoming obsessive about
your weight and body image can be fatal.
Ana Carolina Reston had been modelling since she was 13. When she
died, aged 21, she Weighed just six. stone. Clinically, her death was due
to the diet of apples and tomatoes she had been living on for months
in a bid to stay crazzly thin, which caused her kidneys to pack up. But
you Could say that her death was caused by the current obsession with
models that are painfully and often unnaturally thin.
The five-foot-seven Brazilian spent the last three weeks of
her life in hospital. Her death shows that designers are still using
models who are clearly suffering from eating disorders,
despite calls to stop using these girls because they encourage eating
disorders in other young women. This is what really baffles me: why
are unnaturally thin models and celebrities being encouraged to stay
as they are?
The trend for size-z.ero models -- equivalent to a British size
four -- began as a fad in Los Angeles and Ana Carolina Rest on's case
is not an isolated one.


If you start to cross that thin line we have spoken about, then
you've got to be aware that the consequences can be terrible. I
want you to look at your fat photographs and then take a look at
yourself now. Understand how fantastic you look at your healthy,
ideal weight. Don't take it any further. You are my Life Bitch role
model and I am proud of you, so stay that way!

Don't be driven by the media when it comes to body
image.
Do not go beyond your ideal weight. Stay in control.
Remember that stick-thin bodies are not attractive to the
majority of the population.
Keep visualising your ideal shape, and notice that it is
not size zero.
Talk to your Life Bitch buddy about not crossing the line
and help each other to keep it real.
If you are ever concerned visit your GP.

You are only permitted to read this final chapter if you have
made it. By 'made it' I don't necessarily mean hit your
ideal target weight just yet. 'Made it' means that you have turned
around your life and become a champion of weight control the
Life Bitch way. You have developed a mindset that has given you
conscious control over your eating habits, recognised that it isn't
difficult to lose weight and have at last ditched the excuses and
become more motivated to take personal responsibility. You have
left the 'blame culture' behind, and I am proud of you.
Among other things, your new life begins when you can run
your hands around your backside and appreciate how cute it's
becoming, walk into a clothes store and slip easily into the outfit
of your choice and sit confidently in the seat you once had to
squash into.

Let's take a little time to look at what life has become for you
and the possibilities that are now beginning to open up.

Career life
Fatism is alive and well in the workplace, whether we like it or
not. I read recently that Personnel Todays February 2007 survey
of 2,603 HR professionals found that almost half believe obesity
negatively affects employee output. More concerning was the
fact that 93 per cent of respondents said they would hire a
'normal weight' applicant as opposed to an obese one if they were
identically qualified. Believe it or not, the immediate assumption
made by most people who are a normal body weight is that people
who are obese are lazy because they have allowed their bodies to
get out of condition. Like it or not, this is a fact of life, and you
never want to go back there.
Now new doors will begin to open for you as you glide into that
interview with a slimmed-down frame, smart appearance and inner
and outer confidence. You look like a quality, go-getting product,
rather than an under-confident snail that may let the team down. It's
time to consider what you really want to do with your career. You
are feeling better about yourself, so now may be the time to consider
a change of direction. Remember that it isn't unusual to have four
careers in one lifetime these days, so go do it if it feels right.
If you work in a call centre because you couldn't bear the
thought of people seeing you in the flesh, then maybe it's time to

consider putting your new confidence to good use. It could be that
you always thought you would be a brilliant salesperson if your
body language hadn't always let you down because you were fat,
or that a career in PR beckons because you now look the part of
a really confident communicator. The possibilities have become
almost boundless. So get out there and go for it!

Love life

Sex may now be firmly back on your menu, taking the place of those
cream cakes, but I want to offer you a few words of caution.
Lovers may envy the change in you. If this is the case, start by
reassuring them and tell them this is the real you and that you
will be stronger together.

As for your sex life, let those bedroom activities get steamy and
burn even more calories than your power-walking. You, my dear,
can keep the lights switched on, look at yourself in the mirrors on the ceiling and jump on top without worrying about suffocating
the poor partner beneath you.
My clients report time and time again that sex has never been
so good since dropping their dress or waist sizes. In fact, they
claim that they demand more and more, and so do their lovers.
Your appeal is hotting up by the day, so enjoy it! Keep the Karma
Sutra by the bed and try some new positions.
If you are single, be fussier and date only those that turn
your head and stimulate your mind. Don't be frightened to letyour new-found confidence shine. Draw up a shortlist and test
them out!

Your life
Confidence, large helpings of self-esteem and increased physical
fitness are just a few of the new things in your life. So many doors
will now open to you on the social scene. I remember one client
explaining that she wanted to go and see Mama Mia! in London,
but was so afraid that she wouldn't fit into the theatre seat. She
was also aware that her breathing was strained and loud due to
her weight and was worried that this might annoy those sitting
near her.
No fear for you! This is the time for partying, socialising and
doing all the things you wanted to do when you were at home
stuck in your role of couch potato. Perhaps it's time to join the
local football or netball team and rediscover a sport that used
to be a passion but which you had to drop when you became
an unfit blob. Or maybe you could have a go at line dancing or
belly dancing, both of which can be a real hoot. The latter would
previously have been a real no no, openly showing off all those
flabby folds, but now you can hold your head high and shake it
with the best of them.

Family life
Being involved with the family has to be one of the greatest
satisfactions for parents and those of you who are close to kids.
To be able to see your children following in your footsteps like
true winners, controlling their weight, is fantastic.
You can be so proud of yourself for saying enough is enough
and taking on Life Bitch actions to nurture a lifestyle change. If
the kids were fat and have become, or are becoming, slimmer, then
it is less likely they will be bullied at school and they will begin
to enjoy significant health benefits. Your children, and those who
see you as a role model, will thank you for showing them that life
doesn't have to be dictated by other people and circumstances.
They can be masters of their futures, as you are.
As a family, life will certainly become loads more fun. You are
now able to play actively together without becoming out of puff
and can eat in a restaurant without being ridiculed.
I am so happy that you can now show your family that a
sensible approach to eating and exercise can be fun and one hell
of an achievement and that they have supported you and joined
you on your journey.

Longer life
Increased longevity of life is a big win for all my Life Bitch role
models. Yes, you can enjoy your new life more fully, but, even
better, you have a longer life in front of you to savour.
Above all, by losing this excess fat you are now someone that
can take advantage of the benefits that this new lease of life delivers.
In all probability it has been extended by a considerable amount,
probably years. You have made it, and I am celebrating this with
you. Once upon a time this might have seemed impossible, but your
Life Bitch believed in you and now you can believe in yourself.


Final thoughts

You've done it, tiger, so celebrate!
Is it time for a career change? Now you have newfound
confidence, do some research and go out and get the
job you've always wanted.
If you are after a new relationship, be choosy. Carry out
a good M.O.T assessment on any potential dates.
You now have plenty of energy, so take up new hobbies
and rediscover old passions.
Keep encouraging and motivating your family.
Enjoy your longer life!
^^ o there you have it. My route to success.

I've given you the tools, now it's up to you. My clients
are living proof that the Life Bitch method works. You can't resist
me. But it is down to you.

Come on, just do it. What have you got to lose other than
unsightly excess flesh?

What you have to gain is: energy, control, pride, a fabulous
sexy body... I could go on and on.Remember this MEMO:


Mifid pod Exercise
Mefius
Ok, do^'t you look fabulous!

Appendix

You are a

WINNER.
The Life Bitch menu plans

Don't forget to drink at least eight glasses of water every day.

Sunday



Breakfast
Juicy selection of pineapple chunks, papaya, orange segments and banana slices
Glass of organic apple juice

Lunch
Spit-roasted herby chicken served with seasonal green vegetables
and sweet potato
Wholegrain scone with fresh strawberries Fresh ground coffee or tea

Dinner
Leafy salad accompanied by a portion of poached salmon, dressed with a
mixture of light oil, balsamic vinegar and mustard

Monday

Breakfast
Crunchy granola accompanied by a perfectly ripened pear
Tea

Lunch
Tasty, freshly prepared wrap stuffed with crisp peppers, mushroom,
lettuce and tomato

Dinner
Grilled chicken fillet wrapped with lean bacon on a bed of rocket leaves,
accompanied by mangetout
Tangy assortment of mixed sorbet, sprinkled with crunchy almonds
Organic fruit juice

Tuesday

Breakfast
Creamy porridge with fresh blueberries
Glass of organic orange juice

Lunch
Piping-hot chunky vegetable soup
Wholemeal country roll

Dinner
Sizzling stir-fried onions, peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts,
carrots and tofu enlivened with soy sauce
A selection of seasonal fruits

Wednesday

Breakfast
Banana, strawberry and raspberry blended into a smoothie
with some natural yogurt and honey

Lunch

Low-fat cheese, bacon and tomato sandwich, made with wholemeal bread

Dinner
Oven-roasted aubergine, accompanied by sweet potato and tomatoes

flavoured with balsamic vinegar and Mediterranean herbs
Mouth-watering assortment of pear, orange slices and passion fruit
Thursday

Breakfast
Hearty English breakfast of two rashers of lean, grilled bacon, a poached egg,
a grilled tomato, mushrooms and a slice of toast -dry
or with low-fat spread

Dinner
Medley of mouth-watering melon
Wholemeal pasta with mangetout, broccoli, mushroom, garlic and crime fratche

Saturday

Lunch
Wholemeal roll of tuna and salad
Juicy blood orange with a little muscovado sugar

Dinner
Crispy-skinned jacket potato with cottage cheese,
accompanied by a spicy three-bean salad

Friday

Breakfast
Bran flakes drenched with ice-cold skimmed milk,
sprinkled with dried fruit and crunchy nuts
Glass of freshly squeezed orange juice

Lunch
Tender turkey salad with pine nuts and a low-fat orange and chilli dressing
Organic elderflower juice
Breakfast
Two slices of wholemeal toast topped with honey
Tea

Lunch
Banana, strawberry and orange smoothie
Some of your favourite nuts and dried fruit

Dinner
Stir-fry of tender, lean beef strips, mushroom, bean sprouts
and garlic with soy sauce
Half-bottle of chilled white wine

Sunday

Breakfast
Homemade granola with natural yogurt
Glass of banana and orange juice



Lunch
Tray-roosted courgettes, tomatoes and mushrooms with a splash of soy sauce
and a sprinkle of dried chillli
Puree of apple and ginger with a dash of natural yogurt

Dinner
Skinny fish pie made without the cream and butter, but with plenty of
white fish, thick scalloped potatoes and parsley served with French beans

Monday


Breakfast
Favourite dried fruits e.g. apricots, apples and dates with some natural honey
Fresh mango juice

Lunch
Toasted wholemeal sandwich with tuna, olives and watercress
Pure fruit smoothie

Dinner
Grilled whole mackerel stuffed with sundried tomatoes (minus the oil)
Low-fat peach milkshake with fruity bits

Tuesday

Breakfast
Low-fat blueberry muffin
Glass of organic orange juice

Lunch
Small baked potato with mixed spicy bean filling Small lemon sorbet

Dinner
Wild mushroom risotto with mushroom stock and a dash of Vermouth
Baked pear infused with natural vanilla

Wednesday

Breakfast

Toasted crumpets spread with Marmite (no butter)

Lunch

Tomato and feta salad with olives



Salt-baked white fish served with a Thai salad of leaves, lime juice and red chilli
Fresh orange and pear salad soaked in fruit juice with a twist of Cointreau


'Scrambled eggs with a little smoked salmon and a slice of wholemeal toast

Lunch
Wholemeal roll filled with lean roast beef and horseradish sauce
Dried mixed fruits with a little natural yogurt

Dinner
Shredded chicken stir-fried with baby corn and oyster mushrooms
served with wholemeal noodles
Pineapple frozen yogurt

Friday

Breakfast
Boiled egg with wholemeal toast soldiers
Organic apple juice

Lunch
Chicken breast with a crunchy salad of carrots, cabbage and lettuce
Organic pear juice
Get Off Your Arse and Lose Weight

Dinner
Lean minced beef in a classic chilli con came with a little boiled rice
Fresh pineapple with a sprinkle of brown sugar

Saturday

Breakfast
Two slices of wholemeal toast topped with honey
Tea

Lunch
Banana, strawberry and orange smoothie
Some of your favourite nuts and dried fruit

Dinner
Stir-fry of tender, lean beef strips, mushroom, bean sprouts and garlic
with soy sauce
Half-bottle of chilled white wine

Sunday

Breakfast
Poached egg on a wholemeal muffin
Glass of organic pineapple juice

Grilled monkfish with coriander and lime dressing,
served with minted new potatoes

Meringue nest served with fresh mango

Tea

Dinner
Cottage cheese with a Thai salad of mixed leaves
with chilli and lemongrass dressing
Tea

Monday

Breakfast
Wholemeal toast with honey
Tea

Lunch

Mixed bean salad with wild rice and field mushrooms

Dinner
Smoked salmon served on soda bread with a green side salad
Strawberry frozen yogurt served with fresh strawberries
Glass of organic grape juice

Tuesday

Breakfast
Weetabix topped with low-fat natural yogurt and dried mixed berries
Glass of organic apple juice

Lunch
Homemade onion soup
Apple and orange segments drenched in orange juice

Dinner
Grilled chicken and green pepper kebabs served with low-fat yogurt mixed with
some mint and chilli and a green salad
Baked apple with cinnamon and sultanas

Wednesday

Breakfast
Grilled, lean bacon served with grilled tomatoes
Mint tea

Lunch
Cottage cheese and crunchy vegetables in a wholemeal wrap


Dinner
Wholemeal pasta with courgettes and tomatoes
Banana and strawberry smoothie

Thursday

Breakfast
Plain toasted bagel with low-fat cream cheese
Glass of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice

Lunch
Tuna salad with olives and balsamic vinegar
Tea

Dinner
Fresh asparagus wrapped with Parma ham, served with a small baked potato
Fresh orange and pineapple pieces with frozen coconut yogurt

Friday

Breakfast
Scrambled egg served on a wholemeal muffin
Glass of freshly squeezed orange juice

Lunch
Carrot cumin and coriander soup with a wholemeal roll
Glass of organic apple juice

Dinner
Griddled tuna steak with tomatoes and aubergine
Low-fat coffee-flavoured frozen yogurt

Saturday

Breakfast
Banana pancakes
Coffee

Lunch

Orange, couscous and chick pea salad

Dinner
Grilled sea bass served with lime and spinach
Half-bottle of chilled white wine





The Life Bitch journal
I'd like you to start a Life Bitch journal as soon as you decide that
you are going to accept the Life Bitch route to achieving your
ideal body weight and maintaining it. I have come up with an
outline of what you should include in your journal to start you off
and as a daily reminder to keep you on track to becoming a Life
Bitch role model.

Mirror mirror...
I want your Life Bitch journal to be truly honest from the word
go and to be a place where you can purge harmful emotions and
find strength to carry you through some of the hard times you
will face.
To start with I need you to find the worst pictures you have
of yourself, pictures that make you ashamed and sad about how
overweight you have become. I want you to stick one of these into
your journal as a reminder of where you are coming from. I also
want you to write down the feelings that this image makes you
feel and, as I said, be completely honest. Are they embarrassment,
disgust, feelings of failure, loss of control? Write these feelings
down at the beginning of your Life Bitch journal because they
will help to motivate you from now on.
I don't want you to hop on and off the weight scales every day,
but do record your current, puffed-up weight now, and alongside
it record what your target, ideal weight is, as directed by your
doctor or professional health advisor. Alongside the disgusting
picture of you at your lardy-arsed peak, place a cut-out image of
your ideal body shape.
You now have a clear picture in your Life Bitch journal and in
your mind about where exactly you need get to in order to be a
Life Bitch winner.
The next step is to record the hopes and fears that you have
for your Life Bitch journey. I want you to list what achieving your
ideal weight will mean to you. For example, you might decide that
when you reach your ideal weight you will get married to your
partner or start a family or find a new career, etc. You might also
have reservations about the positive outcome of losing the weight,
such as losing your emotional crutch (the junk food) or losing
friends who can't stand to see the butterfly you have become. I
want you to write these feelings down as well. These jottings
will be an anchor for your motivation -- you can read through
your hopes and fears at any time to remind you what you are
striving to achieve and that the fears are by far outweighed by the
benefits.

Day by day
Here is a guide to the kinds of things you should record on a daily
basis as part of the Life Bitch weight-loss programme. Don't give
me a lame excuse that you can't spend ten minutes each day updating
the journal that will take you through to Life Bitch success.
You should include the following sections daily in your life
journey. Use the examples below as guidelines.





Motivation and willpower
/ I bought a new pair of jeans two sizes smaller than my size now and hung them up
next to my bedroom mirror.
/ I arranged to take the kids ice-skating next month. / The Christmas cake I've been nibbling at has gone in the bin. / Carole asked me to go for a curry on Friday; I persuaded her to come round to me for
a Life Bitch meal instead.

Self-affirmations
/ I successfully avoided having a packet of crisps and some chocolate at work by
picturing the sickness they would have caused in my body.
/ In three weeks I'm going to ride the new bike I've bought with the kids. I picture this
as I carry out my daily life Bitch walks.
/ I've binned the junk food that was in the house. It felt great, and now I'm not going
into the fast-food joint where I normally pick up my lunch. I now picture 'slow food'
and slow eating.

Food
	I've planned my first Life Bitch three-week menu. Tonight I ate baked salmon for the
first time and I loved it.
/ Instead of my usual Saturday fried breakfast at Sam's Cafe, I'm going to save
the money and cook myself some grilled tomatoes, a bit of lean bacon and some
mushrooms. I'm doing it for myself!
	I cancelled the weekly food delivery and wrote a healthy shopping list with the family.
We are off to the supermarket later to buy food the life Bitch way.

Exercise
/ I went on my first life Bitch walk. I felt achy afterwards because ifs the first time
I've moved my arse just for the sake of it in a long time, but I also feel fantastic about
myself. / I booked some tennis lessons for me and the kids next month, as it was something I
did at college and really loved.
/ I walked for 40 minutes today and took on the hill that always made me want to
jump in the car on the way to Denise's house. I feel fantastic. I'm becoming a true
Life Bitch! / I'm fit and slim enough to start Pilates classes next week with a couple of mates.
I can't wait.

The Life Bitch in me
I told Sarah I didn't want to meet her for tea and cakes today, as I was going out on a
walk. She said I was getting too obsessed with slimming and I told her she should join
me at the park instead of the cafe. She's going to think about it. If she chooses to stay
a fatarsed baboon, thafs her choice.
/ I walked past the fish and chip shop yesterday evening and saw some real sights that
couldn't even wait to get outside the shop before they stuffed the greasy chips and
fatty batter down their gobs. It made me feel sick. I prefer fresh fish and vegetables
these days. I'm beginning to notice the colours of the vegetables on my plate, and
it reminds me that my personality is becoming more colourful as I lose weight. I am
being eyed up more and more each day. I'm beginning to feel so sexy!
it'S The company's summer ball is six weeks away and I will have dropped at least one
dress size, so I'm thinking of getting something really 'wow' to wear. I'm going to flirt
with Peter from the sales department!





Six good things
/ I tried porridge for the first time this morning, with a tiny bit of honey. It tasted fab.
/ i actually ran with the dogs on our walk today for the first time ever.
/ I said 'no' to the Friday cakes in the office. Everyone was a bit stunned and my friend
Sean said, 'You're so good!' I told myself, 'I know I am; I'm a life Bitch winner!' / Today I asked Matt to make a new hole in my belt, as it was too big. / Last night I was out clubbing. I wore the short dress I'd dreamt of for ages and got
chatted up more than once! / My boss said I was really confident at the team meeting and that it was like I was
someone else.

Six things to improve on
	I'm going to stop having butter on my toast in the mornings. / The walks I go on will increase in intensity from Monday.
/ I'm going to make homemade chips for the family tomorrow and throw away the
frozen ones. / I'm switching my self-motivation slot to 11 a.m., to make sure I don't get distracted
by the kids.
	When I meet my friends tomorrow, I will ask one of them to be my life Bitch buddy. / I'm going to talk about my Life Bitch goals with the family -how
they can help me
and the rewards and incentives we should work together for. I'm going to buy tickets
for Take That in June -that
will get their attention.


The Life Bitch lifesavers
At times you will have doubts and face challenges that you feel
threaten your position as a Life Bitch success. I want you to have
this brief tool kit written up in the back of your journal to pull out
when you need it. This is one of the lifesavers that will keep you
true to the Life Bitch programme.

Someone offers food you know you don't want, but you hesitate. Picture the big red stop sign.

You can't be arsed to get out of bed at the weekend to go for your daily walk.

Take a look at the hideous picture of you and
let that kick you up the backside.

You're at a wedding and you feel you've had too much champagne and now want to
tuck into the wine.

Head for the toilet, pull out your affirmations
list and the gross picture and get a grip.



don't-panic menus and quick troughs
At the back of your journal, I want you to have a few quick-menu
ideas that will keep you on the Life Bitch path. These are for when
you simply don't have time to plan and you've got to put a meal
together with no notice. I also want you to jot down some ideas for
healthy snacks that will get you through when you think hunger
is attacking. Go to pages 239-51 for menu ideas and pages 66--67
for quick-trough plans.
Goodies

Apricots
Asparagus
Avocado
Banana
Basil
Broccoli
Celery
Cottage cheese
Couscous
Crab
Eggs
Figs
Fresh fruit salad
Garlic
Grilled lean chicken
Lean steak
Lettuce
Low-calorie bread
Low-fat mayonnaise
Mangetout
Pistachio nuts
Potatoes
Pumpkin
Salmon
Skimmed milk
Spinach
Squash
Strawberries
Sweet potatoes
Tofu
Tomatoes
Water
Wholegrain pasta
Yogurt

Baddies

Battered fish
Beef burgers
Butter
Chips
Chocolate biscuits
Cream
Cream cakes
Crisps
Doughnuts
Full-fat cheese
Full-fat fizzy drinks
Full-fat mayonnaise
Ice cream
Onion bhajis
Pasties
Pastry
Peanut butter
pints of beer
Pizza
Pork pie
Pork scratchings
Processed meat
Sausage rolls
Sherry
Steak pie
Sticky toffee pudding
Sweets
Toffee
Treacle


The End.