WILD

BY

TINA FOLSOM

1. Annette’s Last Day

I didn’t want to wake up, but I had to. I could hear my roommate Carmela making noise in the kitchen. This was my last day. I was nearly out of money and only had enough for a Greyhound ticket back to Des Moines.

I couldn’t afford to stay any longer and she needed help with the rent. Over the last few days she had shown my room to several prospects and I knew somebody would move in tonight. The economy wasn’t doing well and she was relying on a roommate to supplement her own income.

I had liked the flat the moment I had seen it for the first time. It was in a large five-story apartment building built around the turn of the century. Because the flat was on the top floor it had stunning views over the City, which was one of the reasons why it wasn’t exactly cheap. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom and a large eat-in kitchen as well as a nicely appointed living room. The only drawback was there was no terrace or balcony.

I loved the old style feel of the place, the crown moldings, the old door knobs, the retro light switches. Naturally not everything really worked in an old flat like this. The water pressure in the shower left much to be desired, and some of the windows were painted shut. The wooden floor creaked in many places and the heating system was trial and error. All in all though the place was charming.

Reluctantly I swung my legs out of bed. My hair was a mess and I knew my eyes would be bloodshot. I had been crying a lot, because I was sad to leave San Francisco.

I looked around. There wouldn’t be too much to pack. I didn’t have more than two suitcases worth of stuff, mostly clothes.

A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Annette, it’s getting late,” Carmela reminded me.

“I’m up. I’m up.”

“I still have to clean the room.”

I wondered how many hours it would take to get from San Francisco to Des Moines. Would it be enough to forget all my disappointments, all my failures? Why was it so hard?

I had tried everything: waiting tables, cleaning homes, participating in medical trials, dog walking, anything where I could earn some money. And still it was never enough. The City was expensive and I couldn’t find a foothold. I couldn’t find a decent job which would pay enough to survive. I sure had tried. Now it was time to concede.

There wasn’t much back for me in Des Moines either. I knew I could move into my aunt’s house again. Of course everybody at home would laugh at me. Thought she could make it on her own, in San Francisco of all places, I could hear their voices already.

I dreaded the thought of returning to Iowa. My aunt really didn’t want me around, but since she had promised my parents to take care of me if anything ever happened to them, she was stuck with me. She had probably never thought she would ever be taken up on her promise or that something would happen to my parents so soon.

I grabbed my towel off the chair and went to the bathroom. The hot water felt good. I wished it could have lasted longer, but Carmela had obviously already had her shower and then done the dishes. There wasn’t enough hot water left for me to stay too long.

Great!

This day didn’t start well. It was better to get it over with soon. I looked into the mirror and started blow drying my long hair. It was so thick it took quite a while for it to get completely dry. But I didn’t want to cut corners, since with my luck it could be cold outside.

I went back to my room and got dressed. My jeans would be quite comfortable for the trip. A plain cotton t-shirt was easy enough to go with it, and then my favorite red sweater, just in case it was cold.

I called Greyhound only to find out there had been a schedule change and the coach I had to be on was leaving after nine o’clock in the evening. While this gave me lots of time until I had to say goodbye, I would have to still get out of this place much earlier.

I started packing and it didn’t take long to fill my suitcases with my belongings.

The smell of coffee permeated through the flat, so I went into the kitchen. Carmela was busy cleaning the counter.

“Hey,” I said and poured myself a cup.

“My new roommate is coming at noon.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was past ten o’clock. “I have to be at the office at one. Hank’s on vacation and his vacation coverage from the Sacramento Medical Examiner’s Office will be coming in the afternoon.”

“I thought you were off today.”

“So did I. I got paged. They’re bringing in another stiff and Jeremiah called in sick - again. Guess I have no choice. I’d better get going.”

She darted toward my room, cleaning liquid and duster in hand. I opened the fridge and poured some milk into my coffee mug. I needed to eat something. Cereal or eggs? I decided on both. That way I could skip lunch.

I fixed my breakfast and took it into the living room. The TV was on. Carmela normally turned it on as soon as she got up and would leave it on all day for background noise as she called it. I was happy about the distraction it gave me.

“What’s with all the paper stuff you left in the room?” Carmela called from behind me. I turned to see what she meant. She held up a stack of flyers for clinical trials for which human guinea pigs were needed.

“Just throw them out. I don’t need them anymore.” I paused. “Unless you want to participate in any of those clinical trials. Some of them pay decently.”

Carmela hesitated for a moment. The thought of making some extra money probably pleased her. She spent quite a lot on going out and loved buying new clothes.

“Maybe I will,” she mumbled and put the flyers onto the coffee table before returning to my room.

Our goodbyes were short. She hugged me and wished me all the best. I slung my handbag over my shoulder and dragged my luggage downstairs. There was a bus stop only a block and a half down the street. It wasn’t easy to lift both my suitcases into the bus. Luckily the bus driver was in a good mood and patient with me. I flashed him my Fastpass and got in.

As the bus was making its way through traffic, stopping on every other block, I looked out the window. I didn’t mind the time it took to get to Transbay Terminal where the Greyhound terminal was located. I had lots of time to kill and nothing in particular to do.

It was a foggy day. Just as well. It would make it easier for me to leave.

Don’t get sentimental now.

I would go back to Des Moines and could probably get my old job at the zoo back. I liked working with animals. They were so much easier to deal with than humans.

I loved watching the wild cats they kept at the zoo, the mountain lions especially. They had more elegance and grace about them than I had seen in any other animal. Whenever I looked into their amber eyes, I felt like they were trying to talk to me. Sometimes I had the feeling I could even sense their emotions.

Funny, with most humans I couldn’t even tell the simplest things like whether they liked me or not. At the party the night before I had been caught by surprise at how little the guy I had been dating a few months earlier actually liked me. We had broken up more than three months ago and when I saw him again at the party he had been not just unfriendly, but downright nasty, making fun of me in front of his new squeeze. There were no hard feelings from my side and I sure wasn’t pining for him or anything like that, but being made fun of in front of a bunch of other people nevertheless had brought tears to my eyes.

“Last stop!” The bus driver’s voice jerked me out of my daydreams.

I looked up. Transbay Terminal was an old run down building in the South of Market district framed by Mission Street in the North and Howard Street in the South. Right next to it, a brand new condominium project was being built. They called it the Millennium Tower. It was a shiny, all glass building with sixty stories. Only the rich would be able to afford to live there. I had heard they had started selling some of the units already even though the building wasn’t going to be ready for occupancy for another few months.

When I entered the terminal building with my two suitcases in tow, I looked around quickly. Somewhere there had to be some lockers. I found them easily enough. Lots of them were empty. I shoved both my suitcases into a large one, then slipped the key into my jeans pocket and looked for the ticket counter.

Only one counter was open and I got in line. There were five people in front of me and it seemed to take forever until it was my turn.

“One way to Des Moines, please.”

The agent typed something into her computer. “Two hundred and nineteen dollars please,” she said without looking away from the screen.

I swallowed hard. It was much more than I had calculated on their website.

“Are you sure that’s right?”

She looked at me then pointed toward the sign in the bottom right of her window.

Fuel surcharge, it read. Effective May 1, 2008 a fuel surcharge of 22% will be added to all tickets issued for Greyhound buses. Today was May 2nd.

Oh no!

I checked my wallet and counted fast. I had two hundred and twenty dollars left. Enough for the ticket, but it wouldn’t leave me anything for food for the almost two days it would take me to get to Des Moines.

“Are you going to buy the ticket or not, Miss?” she asked impatiently.

“Yes, I’ll take it.”

I had no choice. I gave her the money and took the ticket. A single dollar remained in my wallet.

“Next!”

I walked away from the window. The severity of my situation hit me instantly. If I breathed in, I knew I would cry, so I held my breath. It didn’t last long. I needed some air and started to run. As I got outside the cold fog hit my face and I knew tears had already started streaming down my face.

I wasn’t sure how much more bad luck I could stomach. I blindly stepped off the sidewalk only to be pulled back by somebody as a bus almost swiped me.

“Are you crazy? Do you want to end up in the hospital?” the man shouted. I turned and stared at him without really seeing him. I didn’t answer. That was it: the hospital!

I still had my Fastpass and could ride on any Muni bus without paying. The number six bus heading to Parnassus was about to depart, but I ran and the driver saw me and opened the doors again.

I jumped in showing her my pass before letting myself fall into an empty seat. This time the bus couldn’t go fast enough for me. The stops on Market Street felt like an eternity. It didn’t go much faster riding through Haight Ashbury. Finally we turned onto Parnassus and headed up the hill.

As so often UCSF Medical Center on Parnassus was engulfed in dense fog, much denser than downtown. The wind blew strongly and made it at least ten degrees colder than downtown. I shivered in my sweater and wished I would have taken the time to take my jacket out of my suitcase.

Don’t be such a wimp!

I hurried along Parnassus stopping at every light pole tearing down any flyers for clinical trials I could find. Then I headed into the Nursing café which I knew had a large bulletin board. I scanned it quickly and took down any flyers which were promising.

Just around the corner was a house phone. Excellent – I could dial all internal numbers without paying a cent. I went to work only calling for those clinical trials which paid cash immediately. I knew the University’s system well. If payment was by check, I would have to wait at least three weeks. I needed a study which paid me in cash today.

The first two I called were full and didn’t enroll any more patients. I was lucky on the third try.

“Actually, right now is fine. I’m still here for an hour, so just go to our clinic and I’ll meet you there. Ask for Elaine,” the clinical trial coordinator chirped.

I headed across the street again and entered the Ambulatory Care Center building. The elevator was packed and stopped at every floor. Finally the doors opened on the sixth floor and I got out. I didn’t even look which department I went to, but just followed her directions to the check-in desk.

“I’m here for Elaine,” I announced to the person behind the desk.

“Name,” the male assistant said bored without looking up.

“Annette Pearson.”

He dialed a number.

“Elaine. Annette Patterson is at the reception.”

I wanted to correct him, but he stopped me by holding his hand up in a prissy manner and giving me a reprimanding look.

“Ok,” he answered into the receiver. He put the phone down and pointed toward the end of the hall.

“Last door on the left.”

“Thanks.”

As I entered I briefly wondered whether I should have knocked at the door. Elaine was sitting at a desk in an anteroom to another office, whose door was ajar. She greeted me warmly. She was a woman in her forties. Her hair was tied back in a low pony tail and she wore glasses.

“Well, let’s get started.”

I sat down on the chair she pointed out to me.

“This is a genetic study and will require a blood draw. I’ll need to ask you a few questions to determine which group we can put you in.”

She went through all kinds of questions about my medical history and I answered truthfully. I had never had any major medical problems.

“Now to your background: are both your parents still alive?”

“No, both are deceased.”

“Cause of death?” She looked up and gave me a pitiful glance.

“Accident.”

“Any siblings?”

“None.”

She marked her questionnaire.

“Will you be able to come in for four more follow-up appointments spaced one week apart starting next week?”

“Sure,” I lied. I would be gone by tonight and she had no way of tracking me down and demanding the money back which she would pay me shortly.

“Excellent. Let me just run this by my PI next door and I’ll be right back.” She got up and stepped into the office behind her pulling the door shut. I heard low voices: hers and that of a man, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. It would be gibberish in my ears anyway, all medical jargon.

The door suddenly opened and Elaine stepped back into the room. I caught a quick glimpse of the man in the other office before she shut the door. He had met my gaze only briefly. He looked like he was in his late thirties, of a light complexion and surprisingly for his age had almost white hair.

“Turns out, if you want to, we can enroll you in both our studies simultaneously,” she said with a smile.

My interest perked up. “Does that mean double the money?”

Too desperate?

She didn’t seem to notice.

“Actually, yes. So, the first study just involves the blood draw. Let’s do that first. Here are the forms you need to sign. Just the usual waivers.” She shoved the forms in front of me and I signed them blindly.

While she started on the blood draw, she continued speaking.

“The second study involves a small injection of a contrast liquid we’re testing. No side effects. You’ll just have a dark spot under your skin for a few days, like a tattoo.”

I didn’t really want to show up at my aunt’s house with something looking like a tattoo. I had enough trouble. She had to have seen my doubtful look.

“Not to worry – it’ll disappear in a few days. Besides we will do the injection in your upper thigh.”

Fat chance of my aunt seeing my upper thigh any time soon.

“Okay then.”

She had filled the vial with my blood and pulled out the needle from my arm. She placed a small band aid at the injection site.

“For the injection I’ll have you lean over the bench here and just take down your jeans a little.”

I opened my button, pulled down the zipper and dropped my jeans down to my knees. I was turned away from her, facing the wall, and heard her pulling something out of the refrigerator. When I glanced in her direction, I saw a huge syringe and instantly regretted my decision.

Suck it up already, chicken!

With the eighty dollars I would get for the two studies I could afford to eat on my way back to Des Moines. So I clenched my teeth together and waited for the syringe to prick me.

It was painful, but Elaine rubbed the spot instantly and I felt better.

“You’re done.”

I got dressed. She handed me a little card.

“Here’s your appointment for next week, Friday at 2pm.”

“And the money?” I panicked for an instant.

“Of course, sure.” She opened the drawer, took out four crisp twenty dollar bills, handed them to me and had me sign a receipt. I shoved the money and the appointment card into my front jeans pocket.

“Thanks. See you next week,” I lied again. I felt like running out of the building just in case she had seen through my lie and would want the money back, but I remained calm.

When I got outside, it was almost dark. I waited at the bus stop. I wasn’t able to get on the first bus since it was completely packed. I overheard waiting passengers saying the N-Judah Muni line was out of order and therefore everyone was trying to get onto a bus instead.

I looked at my watch. I still had plenty of time to get to the station. The money burned in my jeans. This was probably the most dishonest money I had ever earned. I wished I could have done it differently, but I just didn’t know any other way.

When I finally got onto a number six bus back to Transbay Terminal, it broke down about four blocks before its destination.

“Sorry, all passengers off, please. I’ve called for a replacement bus. It’ll be about fifteen minutes,” the bus driver announced. I knew what it meant when a Muni employee said fifteen minutes. It would be more like half an hour. I could walk the rest of the way in a much shorter time. As I got up out of my seat I felt a little bump on my thigh where the injection site was.

An allergic reaction? I felt it through my jeans, but it didn’t itch. Never mind, it would disappear. I had participated in enough clinical trials to know that most of the stuff they gave you was harmless. Half the people received placebos anyway.

I stepped out of the bus and started walking. It was dark now and the street lights had trouble penetrating the fog and the darkness.

I took a shortcut from Market Street through to Mission Street and regretted it after taking the first ten steps. I was in an unlit alley. The alley was narrow and surrounded by high buildings on either side. I had taken it many times during the day and it had never bothered me, but it was quite different at night. I could see the light at the end of it where it was connecting to Mission Street, but I could also see the shadow of a person coming toward me.

Something about the person’s demeanor told me I would not want to be too close to him. I turned and started to run back to where I had come from, promptly tripping over an unevenness on the sidewalk. I fell and hit my knees. It was painful, but I had to get up. The footsteps came closer and closer. Their sound was menacing in my ears.

“Want some company?” I heard a male voice behind me and shrieked. I started running, but before I could make two steps his hand grabbed me.

He slammed me against the wall before turning me around. He was Caucasian and in his thirties or forties.  I could smell the alcohol on his breath. His grin was evil. While he held me against the wall his free hand tried to rip my jeans open. For once I was glad I wore my tightest pair.

“Help!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I struggled, beat at him with my firsts, but it felt like my hands just bounced off him without doing any damage. I tried to pull free, but he was strong and towered over me. I was no match for him.

He was still trying to pry my jeans off, but seemed to become more and more frustrated when he realized he didn’t make any progress. Maybe he would just let go. I wasn’t that lucky. He got angrier and angrier.

“You little bitch!”

Suddenly he pulled out a knife.

“Somebody, help me!”

I remembered the self-defense class I had taken in my freshman year at college and frantically tried to remember any of the moves they had taught us. I wore trainers so the defensive move I remembered about stepping firmly onto the top of his foot would have had no impact – high heels would have hurt him, not trainers. Wasn’t there anything else I could remember?

Kick him in the balls!

I jerked my leg up to kick my knee into his groin, but too late noticed his hand holding the knife. It interfered and cut my motion short of reaching its intended goal. The knife drove deep into my thigh.

I had never felt a more intense kind of pain before. My stomach turned and my body twisted in pain as I found my voice again and screamed in agony. He pulled his knife out of my leg, twisting it as he did so and lunged at me again. In mid-movement he abruptly pulled back.

He stared at me in shock, and then I saw them: the claws which had seized him from behind. Before I fell, I saw a set of amber colored eyes behind my assailant. As I tried to hold the gaze of those eyes I felt a strange familiarity.

Take me home.

Suddenly I knew I would be safe.

2. Vince’s Dilemma

The girl stared right at me. As her eyes locked with mine I discovered no fear in them. I barely felt her attacker struggle in my grip. I was too fascinated with her, unable to understand why she did not erupt in fear when she had clearly seen my amber eyes and observed my claws around the man.

She was undoubtedly going into shock. Then, as if in slow motion, I noticed her knees buckle. With one swift move I flung the man into the wall and heard several of his ribs crack. While he tumbled to the floor I leapt toward the girl and caught her in my arms before she hit the sidewalk.

Glancing at the man on the ground I verified that he was knocked out cold for a while before turning my attention to the girl in my arms. She was unconscious, her thigh bleeding profusely. I looked at her angelic face.

What I did then was contrary to all the rules I had put in place for myself. Even later I could not explain why I did it. Maybe it was because she had seen my eyes and not shown any fear. Maybe it was just fate. Whatever the reason, I would perhaps never know for sure, I knew that I didn’t want to leave her there. The right thing would have been to bring her to the main road, call 9-1-1 and make sure she was picked up by an ambulance. Even though she was injured, my experience as a physician told me she would make it if she got taken care of within the next hour.

It was irresponsible of me to not follow my modus operandi. I had saved many women from their attackers and always made sure the police or an ambulance would take care of them. I had always been cautious so they couldn’t see my face and would never know what had saved them.

It was different with this girl. Had I reacted as usual she would not even have seen me nor had a chance to stare into my eyes, but as soon as I had gotten a glimpse of her, something had made me hesitate for a fraction of a second. In that fraction her eyes had locked with mine and I had felt unable to tear myself away. All I had been able to think of was to take her home. It was in my head: Take me home.

I looked down at her wound again and knew I had to make a decision. So I ran. In the storefronts I passed I saw my reflection. While my torso had remained that of a man, my hands had turned into sharp claws, my shoulders and neck had bulked up to give me more strength and my jaw had widened to accommodate the large razor-sharp teeth of a wild animal. My eyes glowed amber, a sign that the beast within me was in control. I was a frightening sight to behold.

I kept her as still in my arms as I could as we crossed Market Street and entered the Financial District. Only minutes later we arrived at my front door.

The reason I had chosen to live in the Financial District was the fact that it wasn’t a residential area. Very few people actually lived there, and those who resided in one of the high rises didn’t spend much time outside. It made it easier for me to remain unnoticed when I entered and exited my place at night. Not having nosy neighbors was essential to living anonymously.

During the day the streets teamed with office workers who didn’t take much notice of anybody. They just wanted to get to work. It was the ideal place to live beneath society’s radar.

I had no direct neighbors. The building was in an alley off Sansome Street. Its entrance was easily overlooked. There was no mailbox, no address, no door bell. For all anybody knew it was a fire exit for one of the office buildings on Sansome Street. Even though the office building behind my little warehouse was much taller, it had no windows on this side, which afforded me the privacy I craved.

The warehouse I had turned into my home was of red brick construction, originally unreinforced. However, in the first year after I had bought it, I had retrofitted the place so it would withstand the frequent earthquakes the Bay Area had to deal with. Steel bracing and reinforcement as well as sheer walling would make it possible for the building to at least withstand a 7.5 magnitude earthquake. The ’89 earthquake which had rocked San Francisco and lead to a collapse of a portion of the double-decker Bay Bridge, had not caused any damage to my home.

Instead of taking her upstairs, I walked through the door underneath the stairs. The motion sensors detected me and all lights turned on instantly. I stood in an enormous room equipped as a laboratory. Stainless steel benches, industrial size refrigerators and freezers, microscopes, centrifuges, I had it all. I was better equipped than many commercial labs.

Gently I placed her onto the surgery bench and noticed with relief that my claws had turned back into hands. I took off my bloody shirt and grabbed one of the lab coats hanging over a chair and put it on.

I wanted to look as normal as possible when she woke up so I wouldn’t frighten her.

So I wouldn’t frighten her?

What the hell was I thinking? I had taken her and brought her into my lab. I was alone with her and she had no means of escaping. I was a stranger to her, and I was a man, a natural predator. What made me think she wouldn’t be frightened?

I’m a doctor.

What? My lab coat would make her fear me any less? I shook my head.

Vince, what are you doing?

I looked at her again and reminded myself that I had to take care of her wound first and deal with the consequences later.

I took off her trainers first then freed her from the tangled strap of her handbag. Her jeans were tight and the only way to get them off without moving her excessively was to cut them off. As I sliced through the fabric inch by inch I revealed more and more of her beautifully formed legs. Her skin was smooth, and every time I touched it while cutting her jeans, it felt like a lightening bolt went through my body. Nobody else had ever had an effect like this on me. I had carried other women to safety and never felt anything other than making sure they were safe. I had never been tempted to take any one of them with me. But when I looked at this girl, all I could think of was to touch her, to kiss her, to make love to her, to make her mine.

I had to start thinking of something else. I threw the bloody shreds of denim onto the bench behind me and disinfected my hands to examine her stab wound. It was deep, but had not hit any main arteries. My time during my residency at San Francisco General Hospital had given me lots of opportunities to deal with knife wounds. It wouldn’t be hard to patch her up and stop the loss of blood. She would be okay.

I had everything I needed and started by cleaning her wound. I put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. I needed to give her a small amount of morphine for the pain before I would be able to suture the wound. As I rolled up the sleeve of her sweater and turned the inside of her arm toward me, I noticed a band aid, therefore I decided to use the other arm instead.

I tapped her skin and found a vein instantly. While I administered the morphine intravenously I felt her soft skin again. With the back of my free hand I touched her cheeks, telling myself I needed to check her temperature, when I knew her temperature wasn’t elevated. Her skin was soft as a baby’s and just touching her face made my body tingle.

I felt like a stalker as I gazed at her defenseless body and knew that at this moment I wasn’t any better than the man who had assaulted her in the alley. The only thing which had changed was geography. She was in my house, or should I say my lair, where she had even less of a chance of escaping than in the alley. I could keep her here forever, and she wouldn’t be able to get away. She would be trapped.

My thoughts about what I wanted weren’t any less evil than her attacker’s, with one difference: I wanted her to want me too. I wanted her to respond to me with the same desire I had for her, to open up her arms and wrap them around me eagerly, to feel her press her body against me willingly, to ask me to take her. Looking at her slender legs I wondered what it would feel like if she wrapped them around my hips and pulled me toward the center of her body, inviting me.

As I began suturing her wound, I was disgusted by my thoughts. The fact that I had to handle her soft skin while I worked on her injury didn’t help me eliminate my inappropriate thoughts in the slightest.

My animal instincts told me to take her and make her mine, while my human instincts battled against the notion of taken a woman by force. I still had enough humanity left in me, but the longer I felt her half-naked body so close to mine the greater the risk was that my human instincts would lose the battle.

I couldn’t allow this to happen. In all the years I had lived in seclusion hidden away from society, and despite the loneliness I felt, I had never desired a woman nor had I felt any particular temptations. I had learned to control most of my emotions and only unleash my animal self onto the evil in the City. I knew it didn’t make me good, but I hoped in some small way some innocents would be spared because of my actions.

I put all instruments I had used into the sink to sterilize them later. As I turned back to her I could feel her stir. I was by her side at once. She didn’t open her eyes. Tenderly I slipped my arms underneath her and lifted her up. She shivered slightly.

Stupid me! She was cold. I had laid her onto the cold surgery bench without at least covering her body partially with a blanket to keep her warm. It was inexcusable. I whisked her upstairs.

Most of the upper floor was just one large space where I had let the furniture define the use. The red brick walls were exposed in many portions of the building, but they were interrupted by steel braces and some strategically placed sheer walls. I had tried to make it look as appealing as possible without compromising safety.

Toward one end was what I would have called my bedroom, if it wasn’t for the fact that I rarely slept. Rather, I rested without ever really letting my senses shut off. The king size bed was comfortable even though I would have felt just as comfortable on the floor which was concrete. Concrete was a bad conductor of sound which suited my purpose. I had used a system of cubes locked into each other to create a room divider to give the illusion of privacy and separation in the bedroom.

In the living room which occupied the center of the warehouse one wall was equipped with every electronic gadget available on the market. An oversized couch occupied the middle of the room together with a coffee table and a comfortable armchair. A large TV was mounted on the other wall. The kitchen was at the back of the building. It was framed by a bar. There was a door which led into the bathroom. It was the only room on this floor which had a door.

The most remarkable thing about my place was probably the fact that besides the huge skylight above the living area it had no windows whatsoever. It was what I had wanted: complete privacy. Nobody could see into the skylight – it was protected by windowless buildings on all sides. In order to make up for the lack of ventilation I had an elaborate air conditioning system in place, and the kitchen and bathroom were equipped with industrial strength vents which would suck out any excess moisture and smells.

I laid her into my bed being careful not to put any pressure on her leg. The down comforter I covered her with would keep her warm. She would be safe for now, as safe as she could be in the home of a stranger. I looked at the clock beside the bed. It wasn’t even midnight yet and I settled in for a long night of waiting.

I went to my wall of electronics and switched on the monitors: surveillance. While glancing at one of the monitors which gave me a live picture of what was happening outside on the street, I reset the digital recorder to the time when I had left earlier. I pressed play and went through it in fast forward mode.

Early in the evening there had been some activity: the odd office worker leaving the office late, an occasional homeless guy, some Chinese youngsters taking a shortcut through the area to get to Chinatown just a few blocks away, some cars and taxis passing by. A tourist couple looked lost. They were obviously trying to find their way back to their hotel after a night out in North Beach. I saw nothing out of the ordinary. I reached the point on the tape where I had come home and stopped it.

Nobody apart from me had ever set foot into my home. Technically she hadn’t either, since I had carried her in, but that was beside the point. She was here, and I had no idea what I should say to her when she woke up. How would I explain myself?

She would scream, no doubt. Nobody would hear her, but she was unaware of that. The place was soundproof as long as the blinds to the skylight were closed.

There was nothing I could possibly say which wouldn’t frighten her. She was alone in the home of a strange man. She was injured and wouldn’t be able to walk much without assistance for a few days.

What the hell had I done? I couldn’t think clearly. I needed to get my strength back.

I strode to the fridge and opened it. It was filled mostly with steaks. I took out two 18-ounce rib-eyes and threw them onto the butcher block. The industrial gas-fired grill was right next to it. The burner came on in an instant and it wasn’t long before the grill was hot. I flipped the steaks onto it, gave it fifteen seconds on each side and was done with it.

I didn’t need tongs to take them off the hot grill. My hands took the heat easily. I wouldn’t even have needed to put the steaks onto the grill, but again, I liked things to resemble the time when I was still different. I had always liked my steaks rare, but now I ate them barely seared on the outside.

I tasted the blood as I bit into the first one and devoured it in only a few bites. I took more time for the second one and tried to savor it, but alas I didn’t have the patience. No animal did as long as it was hungry. After the second steak my immediate hunger was satisfied. I hadn’t even sat down to eat at the bar. The hunger was often too great to take the time to sit.

As the food settled in my stomach I felt my strength coming back. It was the same after every night of roaming the streets. Why did I do it? I never really knew. Maybe it was penance for my sins. Maybe I just wanted to feel that I had some purpose in my life. I wanted to prove to myself that there was good left in me, that I hadn’t completely turned into an animal.

I tried to hold on to my humanity, because I still had hope, that one day I would be fully human again. In the meantime I did what I had to do. I worked on my research by day and tried to help innocents by night. I didn’t pretend to be one of the good guys, as much as I wanted to. I tried to fight the bad in me and others as much as I could with varying degrees of success.

My thoughts went back to the girl in my bed. She shouldn’t be here with me. It was too dangerous for her. I could still take her to a hospital now, drop her off at the emergency room entrance without being seen and she wouldn’t be the wiser. She would be confused as to how she had gotten there, but she would be safe, safer than here.

I looked over to the bed and the feeling of her lying under the same covers under which I had spent so many sleepless nights, gave me an unreal sense of closeness to her, as if she belonged to me. I fantasized she would wake up in my arms and not be frightened. What was it about this girl that made her so special, that made me want her?

She was quite pretty, but not conventionally beautiful. There was nothing extraordinary about her, only the fact that when she had looked into my eyes the only thought in my mind had been to take her home.

I had kidnapped her. It was wrong. I had to let her go while I still could, take her to the hospital and leave her at the emergency room - if I could.

It was what I had to do. I walked over to the bed where she slept peacefully. I pulled away the comforter and the sight of her bare legs caused a flame of desire to shoot through my loins. As I slid my arms underneath her and touched the naked skin of her legs I could barely contain myself. I felt like a recovering alcoholic opening a whiskey bottle and sniffing at it.

She unexpectedly stirred as I was about to lift her out of the bed. I paused and she went quiet again. As soon as I pulled her into my arms and pressed her against my chest she moved.

“No,” her voice protested. Was she awake?

I stared at her face, but her eyes were closed. She was dreaming.

“Shh,” I whispered barely audible. “I’m taking you to the hospital,” I said in my most soothing voice. I had learned that even in an unconscious state, people could hear certain things and for some reason I wanted her to hear my voice, just once.

“No,” she murmured again. “No hospital.”

She had to be awake. Unconscious people didn’t normally respond. I checked and her eyes were still closed. Was she hallucinating? Had I given her too much morphine?

I could have made a mistake. She weighted no more than a hundred and twenty pounds and I had calculated the amount of morphine for her size automatically in my head. What if I had miscalculated?

I couldn’t move her right now. I had to be sure she was stable. I fetched my stethoscope and my blood pressure monitor from the lab and checked her vital signs. Her pulse was racing and her blood pressure was dangerously high.

While I picked her up and carried her into the lab, I scanned my refrigerators in my mind. What did I have that I could give her to lower her blood pressure? As soon as I laid her onto the surgery bench again where the glaring lights shone at her from all sides, I saw something dark on the skin of her upper thigh.

I looked closer. I was wrong. It wasn’t on her skin, it was under her skin. At first look it seemed to be a tattoo, but as soon as I examined it, I realized it wasn’t a tattoo. It looked like a capsule, and it was expanding.

Without so much as thinking it through even once I opened my instrument drawer and pulled out a scalpel.

There was no time to swab her skin with alcohol. I had to cut into it immediately. As I sliced her skin open I could feel her shift. I held her down as well as I could while trying to hold the scalpel still. I cut long and deep enough to grab the foreign object with my tweezers. I pulled it out and I dropped it onto a steel tray.

I could tell that whatever was in there had leaked. Some of it had surely gotten into her blood stream. With a small vacuum pump I sucked the dark liquid out of the wound until I could find no more. The wound was clean now, but how much of her blood was contaminated?

I checked her vital signs again. Her pulse was still high, but seemed to settle. Suddenly she shivered again. I covered her with a clean sheet, but knew it wouldn’t be enough to keep her warm. As fast as I could I closed the incision site.

I took a warm blanket out of a cabinet and wrapped it around her. I needed to examine the object I had removed from her body, but I didn’t want to leave her alone upstairs. I wanted to make sure that if her condition changed, I would be there to act immediately.

I took the capsule from its tray and placed it on the microscope. I knew immediately what it was. The capsule had a special coating which acted as a time release mechanism. It was very simple and very effective. But what was it supposed to release?

I didn’t have time to investigate any further.

“Uh, where am I?” I heard the girl utter. I rushed to her side grateful for the fact that I still wore my lab coat.

She was too weak to lift her head and could only stare into the lights above her. I bent over her so she could see me. Her big brown eyes looked up at me.

“You were attacked. You’re alright now,” I assured her and smiled at her softly. I was surprised at how calm and quiet my voice was. It betrayed nothing of the storm raging inside of me.

She looked at me, and a painful expression suddenly crossed her face.

“I can give you some more morphine for the pain.”

She raised her hand slightly. “No, no more. I, I …”

“What is it? Are you in pain?” I probed.

Please, please, let her be alright.

“Doctor, I have no insurance,” she admitted and closed her eyes seemingly too embarrassed to look at me.

That was her problem? She had no health insurance? I had to control myself in order not to break out in laughter. She refused morphine even though she was in pain, because she couldn’t pay for it? Who was this girl?

I put my hand on hers. I justified it to myself that a doctor in the hospital would probably have done the same, even though I knew I was looking for any excuse to touch her. I instantly fantasized about what I wanted her hand to do, how I wanted her to touch me.

“Don’t worry. This is on the house.” How true it was. As I prepared another syringe I continued talking to her. So far she didn’t seem to be too worried about who I was or where she was. From her vantage point it truly looked like she was in a surgery suite at a hospital.

“Is there anybody you want me to contact for you?”

She shook her head. “There’s nobody.”

Wrong answer!

She had nobody? Nobody would be looking for her? Nobody would miss her? What was my incentive now of taking her back to the real world? Could it get any worse? I could keep her and nobody would know.

“Are you sure? No relative, colleague, friend, boyfriend?” The last word hurt as I spoke it.

“No, there’s nobody,” she insisted. I was relieved she didn’t have a boyfriend, but this didn’t make things look any better for her. She had no idea what danger she was in. I could keep her locked up here and do anything I wanted with her.

Anything!

I felt how my two sides launched into another fierce battle within me.

“It’ll hurt just a little.” I showed her the syringe, and my voice sounded normal, not revealing the war inside me. She barely flinched. “It’ll take the pain away.”

“Thanks.”

I didn’t want her to sleep yet.

“I don’t know your name.”

“Annette. My name is Annette.” I smiled at her and she smiled back at me. Her eyes locked with mine. I felt as if I could look to the bottom of her soul. I had to tear myself away quickly.

“Have we met before?” she asked shyly.

Oh, no! She remembered me?

It was impossible. I hadn’t been entirely human when she had stared into my amber eyes during the attack. My eyes were green now, so she couldn’t possibly recognize me.

Lie!

“I’m sure I would remember a pretty girl like you,” I flattered her.

She blushed, which made her even more irresistible. I had to turn away from her quickly in order not to lose my composure. I inhaled deeply and counted to three in my mind before turning back to her.

“You’ll fall asleep soon …” I stopped. She was already sleeping.

I knew I had to move her upstairs again. In a few hours the lab mice in the cages in the next room would be woken by the timer I had set to simulate day and night for them. I didn’t want the noise to disturb her.

I lifted her into my arms again and carried her upstairs, careful not to wake her. As before, I laid her into my bed. She still wore her red sweater and I decided she would sleep more comfortably without it. I carefully pulled it over her head. She wore a t-shirt underneath and I could instantly tell that she didn’t wear a bra. Her breasts looked firm and I could see her hard nipples press through her t-shirt. Seeing her like this excited me and I had to take all my strength shielding her body from my view, her body which I imagined to be beautiful.

I decided I would keep the sheets unwashed when she was gone so I could smell her scent whenever I wanted to be reminded of her. As soon as she would realized I was keeping her in my home and this was not a hospital, she would demand to leave and I would have to let her go, if I was strong enough, if my human instincts won.

I had no right to keep her with me even if I only had the best intentions. Right now, I wasn’t quite sure that my intentions were good. The thoughts going through my mind about the things I wanted from her were less than honorable. Virtually all of them involved her being naked in my arms.

In my mind my two sides were at war, one telling me to release her and the other to take her. My good side wanted to take care of her, but I also wanted her to take my pain and loneliness away. I couldn’t expect this sacrifice from anybody.

Once she found out what kind of monster I really was, she would be disgusted and frightened and I wasn’t sure in which order. Not that it mattered. Either one of those feelings would make her want to run.

In the meantime I could dream. For the next few hours she was still mine and nobody could take that away from me. I would deal with everything else later. All I could do was watch her sleep.

As I sat on the edge of the bed I could feel how she breathed evenly. Her long dark hair was spread over the pillow and one of her arms was stretched out to one side, the palm of her hand turned up.

I wanted so much to stoke her, to let my fingers run up the inside of her arm and feel her soft skin. I wanted my lips to kiss her palm and her wrist, my tongue to taste her skin, my arms to hold her.

But I knew it was wrong. I didn’t have her permission, and once she knew me she would never grant it.

Take what you can get while she can’t put up a fight!

It was my animal side talking. My human side was disgusted and won this battle. How many more battles it would win, I didn’t know.

I sat by her side for hours watching her sleep, dreaming about the things that could be if only I was a normal man.

Toward the morning I got up and walked to the bathroom. I switched on the lights and stared into the full-length mirror. My appearance was a little disheveled. I guessed some women would have said I had a rugged look about me. I had read somewhere it was in this year. At least all men who had been voted sexiest men alive in various magazines had this look: five o’clock shadow, wild hair, muscular build, tall.

My five o’clock shadow was more like a two-day beard even though I had shaved only twenty-four hours ago. My unruly hair was a result of mostly cutting it myself. The muscular build and height was not of my own making. It was the result of my condition. Ever since my initial transformation I had noticed how my body had grown stronger and larger as if to accommodate the beast within.

I looked at my face again. My eyes were back to their natural green color, the amber glow was gone. I hated to see my eyes glow amber, because it meant I wasn’t in control, I was becoming the beast which lurked within me.

In the mirror I stared into the face of a man in his early thirties, even though I knew it not to be true. I wasn’t in my thirties anymore.

Not by a long shot!

I shook my head. It was time to get the stench of the streets off me. I stripped and stepped into the oversized shower and let the water rinse the dirt away. But what it couldn’t wash away was my guilt, my sins and my pain about what I had become.

3. Annette’s Awakening

I dreamed I was cradled by something soft and strong at the same time. It was the strangest feeling. It felt like floating on a magic carpet being embraced by cotton wool. My dreams were interrupted several times by pain, but the pain would disappear each time until I felt engulfed in cotton wool again. I had heard a voice in my dreams, but didn’t know who it belonged to. It was strangely soothing and comforting.

Then I heard a waterfall. It was a calming feeling hearing the drops of water fall onto a hard surface. Or maybe it was raining? I wasn’t sure.

I opened my eyes. The room did not look familiar. Had I gotten drunk and gone home with somebody? Not likely. I didn’t remember being at a party. I recalled I had planned to leave San Francisco.

I could still hear the waterfall. What was it? I sat up realizing I was lying in a large bed, alone. The duvet which covered me was warm and soft, but its scent wasn’t familiar to me. It was somebody else’s scent. I looked around. I was in a huge loft of some sort. The light I saw was coming through a huge skylight in the center of the room which seemed to be the living room.

I looked toward the other end of the place and saw the kitchen and a door next to it. It was ajar. The waterfall noise originated from there. Somebody was taking a shower.

Where am I?

This wasn’t my aunt’s house. And this for sure wasn’t my ex-boyfriend’s flat either. I had never even been to a party at this place.

What had I done last night? I tried to reconstruct my last day, when it hit me. I had been attacked in an alley and then I had woken up in a hospital. But how had I left the hospital? I didn’t remember that. Did I have amnesia?

That was just my luck, wasn’t it? Damn! Would I be able to exchange my Greyhound bus ticket for another day?

I looked around the bed to see where I had left my handbag. There was nothing which belonged to me except for my red sweater. I glanced down at myself and noticed I was wearing my t-shirt. I lifted the blanket.

Ok, I still wore my panties.

Good sign.

As I looked down my leg I saw the bandage, and as if on cue, the damn thing started hurting.

Suddenly the shower stopped. I dropped back into the pillows turning a little so I could still see the bathroom door. My view was only partially obstructed by a large room divider made out of different cubes which were open in the front and back. Some were filled with books, some displayed other decorative items such as vases and bowls.

I waited patiently trying not to breathe too loudly. Finally the bathroom door opened and he stepped out. I couldn’t see his face, but if his face was anything like his body, he was a God and I was almost certainly dead.

Just in that instance the pain in my thigh reminded me I was probably not dead and therefore couldn’t be in heaven.

A towel was wrapped around the lower part of his body. His chest was bare and displayed well-formed muscles. His legs were equally muscular and well-shaped. He looked strong, and frankly, hot. Would he drop the towel?

Annette, behave!

He walked to the other side of the room and I lost sight of him. Where did he go? I heard a closet opening and some ruffling. Ah, he was choosing something to wear. I shifted around to see whether I could see him from any other angle without revealing that I was awake. I didn’t want to spoil the moment, which I was sure I wouldn’t get again.

Disappointed not to get another glimpse of him I turned back in bed and froze.

A short gasp escaped my mouth. He stood right at the foot of the bed and looked at me. He was fully dressed in khaki pants and a t-shirt. He looked stunned too. Had he caught me staring at him?

How embarrassing!

He was as gorgeous as a Greek god. His hair was dark brown and still damp from the shower. He was clean shaven and he had the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. He was well over six feet tall and looked just as good in clothes as he had half-naked. I preferred him half-naked though.

“Annette.” He knew my name, but I didn’t know his. My amnesia theory had just become more plausible.

“Don’t be scared,” he pleaded with his green eyes. And then it came back to me. I had looked into those green eyes before. I recognized them.

“Doctor?” I didn’t know what his name was, but I remembered he was the one who had treated me at the hospital. Since when did they allow doctors to take their patients home? This was clearly his home.

“Why am I here?” I needed to know. Had they thrown me out of the hospital because I didn’t have insurance? I hoped I hadn’t gotten him into trouble for treating me. I remembered him saying it was on the house. He had probably broken the rules. I instantly felt sorry.

“You were injured last night. Do you remember that?”

I nodded.

“I treated your wounds,” he continued in his silky and sexy voice, which I was certain, was illegal in at least forty-eight states.

“Yes, at the hospital. I remember,” I said almost impatiently. I was more interested in how I had gotten here than in him trying to test my memory. Was he checking whether I had amnesia?

“I didn’t treat you at the hospital.”

“Of course you did. I remember you. I’m not hallucinating. It was you.” I was confident. There was no way I could have mistaken those green eyes.

I saw his Adams apple move as he swallowed hard. “What I meant to say is I treated you, but not at the hospital,” he said cautiously as he looked at me. I wasn’t sure what he was expecting me to say. So I wasn’t at the hospital, maybe they had brought me to his practice instead?

Big deal!

I shrugged my shoulders. “So, at your practice then. What does it matter? What I would really like to know is how I got here, to your place.” My arms waved at the loft so he would get the idea.

He was deadly handsome, but I wasn’t so sure about his intelligence at this point. How hard was it to answer a simple question?

“I treated you here.” He paused searching my face for any reaction.

“At your home? But then, who brought me to you?” That was strange. Why hadn’t the person who found me just called 9-1-1 instead of bothering a doctor at his home?

“I did. You were hurt. It was faster …” He stopped when he saw my astonished look.

“Oh.” He had brought me here. I looked around.

“Is it just you here?”

Do you make it a habit of bringing injured girls back to your place rather than the hospital?

“Yes,” he admitted.

I stared at him in shock. “Oh!”

Then I suddenly realized he hadn’t answered the question in my head. He had just confirmed he was living alone, not that he made it a habit of bringing injured girls home. But my reaction was already out there.

He looked crushed? No, I wasn’t interpreting him correctly. He was annoyed with me. He had treated my injuries for free and I didn’t even thank him for it. How rude was that?

Annette, pull yourself together and apologize!

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

I stared at him. Those weren’t my words. They were his. He was apologizing to me. What was going on? I put my hands through my hair to touch my skull to see if I had hit my head the night before. I couldn’t find a bump anywhere.

“What’s wrong?” His voice suddenly sounded concerned, all doctor-like again. “Does your head hurt? Are you feeling dizzy?”

He approached the bed and sat down next to me. He took my wrist to feel my pulse and I let him. His touch was gentle. My skin felt like burning under his touch. I gazed at his face while he checked his wrist watch to determine my pulse. He was handsome in a very primal kind of way and looking at him made me feel like I was in heat. I wasn’t exactly the kind of girl who immediately threw herself at any guy with a pulse, despite the fact that I dated a lot, but the kind of lust his presence awakened in me was entirely new to me. My heart started beating faster, much faster.

He abruptly let go of my wrist. Had he caught me staring at him again?

“Your pulse it irregular. Do you have a history of heart problems?”

Does right now count as a heart problem?

“No, never.”

“Hmh.” He seemed uneasy. “Do you mind if I listen to it?” He took the stethoscope from the bedside table.

“No, no, sure, please,” I babbled. My heart was already racing again. I had to slow it down somehow before he thought there was something wrong with me.

As he placed the stethoscope’s listening device on my chest, I was only too aware of his knuckles brushing against my breast and remaining there. I could feel the warmth of his hand stream through me. I was sure he didn’t even notice. He probably did this all day long. Would he notice that I had shifted slightly so that I could feel his hand against by breast even more intensely? I relished in the sensation of his little finger suddenly making a small involuntary movement against my breast as if stroking me.

I closed my eyes to concentrate on something else, something boring: Des Moines, the monotonous life at my aunt’s home, the long winters and the endlessly repeating conversations. It helped. I could feel how my heart beat slower, but I didn’t dare open my eyes until he removed the stethoscope and his hand from my chest.

“It’s fine now. But I’d like to keep an eye on it.”

You may keep an eye on anything you want to.

“Ok.”

I desperately had to splash some cold water on my face to cool down. I was sure my face was flushed.

“Could I use your bathroom?”

“Of course. I’m sorry, I should have thought of that. Wait, don’t move, I’m going to carry you.”

“No, that’s ok,” I protested automatically.

“Sorry, doctor’s orders.”

Judging by the throbbing pain my thigh was sending my way, he was probably right, and who was I to refuse a handsome man who wanted to carry me in his arms?

“Wait just a second.” He got up and walked toward the bathroom and I lost sight of him again. I heard some noises in the bathroom and shortly later he was back.

He lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bathroom. It reminded me of my dream when I had felt like floating on a magic carpet all wrapped in cotton wool. His masculine scent drifted into my nose and I soaked it in hoping he wouldn’t notice how deeply I inhaled to grasp as much of him as I could. In the bathroom he placed me onto a stool. All of a sudden not feeling his body heat anymore, made me shiver. I knew that my nipples suddenly hardened, but I was sure he didn’t notice this potentially embarrassing detail as he pointed to the wheels on the bottom of the stool.

“You’ll be able to roll yourself around between the toilet and the sink.” He walked to the door. “Call me when you’re done.” He was about to close the door, when I stopped him.

“Wait!”

He looked at me, surprised.

“What do I call you?”

“Oh.” He smiled and showed me a full set of brilliantly white teeth. “Call me Vince.”

Vince. The name was a little old fashioned, but it suited him.

I reached to lock the door, but noticed there was no lock. I shrugged my shoulders. If he hadn’t raped me during the night while I had been completely defenseless, there was no reason to believe he would just barge into the bathroom.

I looked down at my body to check. Well, I did have some black and blue spots which were likely caused by my assailant, but I felt no pain in my groin area and was pretty sure he hadn’t touched me.

Would he do so later?

I rolled myself to the sink and saw he had put out a towel and a selection of toiletries. It was a very thoughtful gesture.

As I brushed my teeth I tried to piece together what I knew. On my way to the bus I had been attacked and Vince had found me and brought me here. He had taken care of my injuries.

I now knew the how, but I didn’t know the why. He could have just brought me to the hospital himself and left me there. I knew I had told him I had no insurance, but that was after he had already treated me, so that wouldn’t explain why he hadn’t brought me to the hospital.

He was a mystery to me. I looked at the huge shower behind me. The thought that he had stood in the shower completely naked only a short while ago caused me to have hot flashes.

Stop it!

He was too good looking to ever be interested in me anyway. He probably had a girlfriend. How could I find out?

Listen to me!

What was I doing? Here I was in the home of a stranger whose motives I didn’t know and who I had let inject me with God-knows-what. I was practically incapacitated and only half-dressed, and all I could think about was whether he had a girlfriend?

Why didn’t my normal instincts kick in? Shouldn’t I be worried and try to leave as soon as I could?

“Vince!” I called out. I heard a short knock at the door a few seconds later.

“May I come in?” he called from the other side.

“Yes.”

The door opened instantaneously.

“Ready?”

“Actually, I was wondering if somebody could help me take a shower.”

He looked at me with an almost shocked expression.

“I meant, since I can’t stand up and all, do you think you could maybe call … your girlfriend to help me?” I swallowed and waited for the answer I didn’t want to hear.

“Sorry, but I have no girlfriend.” He sounded apologetic.

“A female friend maybe?” I tested.

He shook his head.

“Female relative?”

He shook his head again.

“Sorry to disappoint you. But I’ll try to think of something so you can take a shower later. Okay?” His forehead was wrinkled as if he was thinking hard.

“Okay. Oh, do you know where my jeans are?”

“Oh, yeah.” He looked guilty. “I’m afraid they are in shreds. I had to cut them off you to treat your injury.”

“Oh … I had a few things in my pockets.”

“I still have them down in the lab. I’ll get them for you.” He was about to turn around to leave, but stopped. “But let me carry you into the living room first.”

He scooped me up into his arms again and carried me to the large sofa. He set me down gently and then spread a blanket over me. I smiled at him gratefully. His manners were impeccable.

When he left the room to go downstairs, my eyes followed him.

The lab?

I guessed it was where I had been when he had treated my injuries. Why would he have a lab in his home? Was he a workaholic and took his work home with him?

He was back in a flash. He was right: there wasn’t much left of my jeans, they were in shreds.

“Here you go. I also brought you your trainers, but I suppose you won’t need them for a little while?” His voice sounded a little unsure.

I pointed at my leg. “I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think I’ll be walking anywhere soon.”

“Right,” he said and I couldn’t interpret his facial expression. He turned his attention to my leg. “I think it’s time to change the dressing.” He dropped rolls of gauze and other medical items onto the table.

I dropped my jeans to the ground, but not before I had checked the pockets and pulled out the contents: four twenty dollar bills, a key and an appointment card. I dropped everything onto the coffee table.

Vince pulled the blanket to the side to reveal my injured leg. He started taking the dressing off. His fingers seemed to stroke my skin as he held up my leg to unwrap the bandage. My skin tingled under his soft touch. It felt as if his hands caressed me with every movement, but of course I was just fantasizing. He was a doctor. It was what he did for a living. Touching somebody else didn’t mean the same for him as it did for me.

“It will hurt a little when I pull the last bit away,” he warned me.

I looked at it and could see blood had encrusted somewhat on the last layer of the gauze. I understood what he meant. I could also see the discoloration of my skin around the wound. The sight made me feel nauseous all of a sudden.

He looked at me and understood instantly. Immediately he turned his body to obstruct my view so I could no longer see the wound.

“Are you ready?” His voice was but a whisper.

“Ok.” My voice sounded less than sure.

The tear was painful, but the pain disappeared almost instantly. I could feel him touching the skin around my wound and applying some cool-feeling ointment. He applied the gauze and dressed it. It was all over very quickly, far too quickly. I wanted him to touch me longer.

He gently placed my leg onto the couch.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry, we’re not quite done.”

I looked over his shoulder. It looked done to me.

“You have another injury,” he claimed. “On your other leg. Let me turn you around so I can get to it.”

He lifted me up and reversed my position on the couch. I looked at my other leg and saw what he meant. It was another spot covered in gauze and I remembered the spot. It was exactly where I had received the injection for the clinical trial.

“Oh. What happened?” I didn’t think the attacker had stabbed me a second time. I was pretty sure of that.

“I was hoping you could explain that to me.”

“I’m not the doctor. You are.” I didn’t understand what he was getting at. “You are a doctor, aren’t you?” I was suddenly filled with doubts.

He smiled only briefly. “Yes, I am. But I can’t explain this. Maybe you can.”

I took a small item from the table. It was in a small plastic bag. I looked at it. It was an oblong item not larger than a quarter of an inch if that much. I shook my head.

“What is it?”

“I found it in your thigh. Right here.” He pointed to my second injury then looked intently at me. His eyes were probing and he seemed anxious.

“I needed some money…“

He waited.

“So I went to the hospital and took part in a clinical trial. They said it was some kind of contrast liquid they were testing.”

“Which clinic?” he asked urgently.

What did it matter? “UCSF.”

“Which clinic at UCSF?” His eyes felt like they wanted to penetrate me.

“I don’t remember.” I could feel his impatience. “But I have a card from them.” I bent over to the coffee table and fished out the card I had taken out of my jeans.

He took it from me and looked at it. When he looked up, I saw pain in his eyes.

“At what time did they inject you?” His voice sounded strained.

“Around four o’clock yesterday.”

His eyes shot to the clock over the TV and he seemed to calculate. The look on his face worried me. He didn’t say anything, but got up and walked to the door.

“What is it?” He didn’t turn. “Vince, tell me what it is!”

“Stay here.” His voice was harsher than I had heard it before. He stopped, but didn’t turn. “Please,” he added, his voice beseeching now.

I was frightened. Something in his demeanor told me he was terrified. He was the doctor. He shouldn’t be scared. He should be the one telling me I was ok. Why was he not doing that?

What was wrong? The stab wound was much bigger and I was sure I had lost a lot of blood, but he wasn’t too worried about that. So why was he getting so angry about the little injection? Did he not approve of people getting paid for clinical trials?

Where the hell was he? What was he doing so long?

I listened and could hear him cursing and slamming doors, dropping things to the ground. I got a little scared. No wonder he had no girlfriend if he threw temper tantrums like that!

I waited for what felt like an eternity until I finally heard his footsteps on the stairs. I heard him pause before he came in. He carried a stainless steel tray with medical instruments, but I wasn’t interested in that. I looked at his face trying to read him.

He walked toward the couch, but stopped when he saw my apprehensive look.

“Annette.” It was only the second time he had called me by my name. His voice was so tender again, and against my better judgment my fear and caution started melting away. I didn’t say anything, but just looked at him.

Slowly he moved closer, checking my expression constantly. As he stood in front of the couch he finally spoke again.

“I owe you an explanation.”

I nodded.

Yes, you do, buddy.

I was unable to speak, afraid my voice would crack. My emotions were all muddled. I was afraid of what he had to tell me, but I wasn’t afraid of him. The look in his eyes told me I did not have to fear him.

He sat the tray down onto the coffee table. His movements were slow and careful as if he was trying not to scare me. His eyes were fixed at me and were seeking approval to sit down. He surprised me when instead of sitting down on the couch he sat down on the floor right in front of me, facing me.

I could feel instantly he had chosen this position because it was completely non-threatening. He looked up at me and gave me a faint smile.

“I’m sorry, Annette. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he started quietly.

I wanted to say something.

“Please, let me explain,” he begged. “I know a lot about clinical trials, believe me.”

I did.

“I recognized the name of the doctor whose trial you participated in. And I know what kind of research he does.” He stopped to look at my reaction.

“I won’t bore you with medical jargon, but last night when this little time bomb …” he pointed to the item he had removed from my thigh, “… went off, your vital signs went off the charts. I’d thought I’d found it in time and was able to remove most of the serum before it entered your blood stream. But with your uneven heartbeat, your flushed face and all the other symptoms you have, I’m not so sure now. I can’t risk that there’s anything left in your blood.”

I stopped him. “What serum?”

“If I am right in my assumptions, then he injected you with a serum which has the capability of mutating your genes.”

The word mutate made me hold my breath. He saw my fearful look and took my hand.

“I’ve followed his research. I don’t think it’s advanced enough yet. The serum hasn’t had enough time yet to alter your cells. There’s still time.” He looked at the tray with his instruments and bottles.

“I need you to trust me.” He looked into my eyes and I could not tear myself away from them. I felt like sinking to the bottom of the ocean, floating without aim.

“I will give you a compound which will enter your blood stream and seek out any foreign cells in your body and destroy them. Unfortunately this will also mean it will destroy the morphine still in your body. You’ll feel the pain in your leg.”

He searched in my eyes.

“Will it work?”

“As long as the serum hasn’t entered your cells’ building blocks yet it will. I promise you.”

“And if it has?”

His expression was suddenly pained. “I need you to stay positive. Will you do that for me?”

I swallowed hard. Here I sat on the couch of a stranger who I had met only a very short time ago, a stranger who was still holding my hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and didn’t know what to say. I closed my eyes trying to think straight. Had I lost my mind? Why did I trust him? It wasn’t natural.

“And …” he hesitated. “I’m sorry, but I will have to keep you here under observation for a few days until I know you’re alright.”

That sealed the deal. I wanted to stay longer. I wanted to stay with him. This was a legitimate excuse. I opened my eyes.

“Let’s do it.”

I watched him draw a liquid from a small vial into a syringe and then push the liquid into a larger bottle. He shook the bottle fiercely before he stuck the syringe into it and drew out the mixed liquid.

He held the syringe up and tapped it to make the little air bubbles rise to the top so he could squeeze them out. He took my arm, wrapped an elastic band around my upper arm and I immediately realized he was going to shoot the liquid right into my vein. I looked away and pressed my teeth together.

“Breathe. It will hurt less if you exhale while I inject you.”

I took a deep breath in and exhaled sharply.

“Ok, you can start now.”

“I already have.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and when I turned to him I saw that the needle was in my arm and he was slowly pushing the liquid inside. He had already released the elastic band from my arm. There was a slight uncomfortable sensation when he pulled the needle out. He put some pressure on the injection site and reached for a piece of gauze and a band aid.

I could feel a strange sensation slowly travelling through my body.

“Why were you so angry with me before?” I blurted out. What the hell was I asking him?

His head jerked around to stare at me.

Oh rats, I should have kept my mouth shut!

I would just make him angry again.

“Angry with you?” His voice was incredulous. “You thought I was angry with you? I’m so sorry.” He took my hand again. It felt good.

“I was angry with the man who did this to you. I was angry I hadn’t caught it earlier, that I hadn’t seen it when I examined you last night. I could have spared you this.”

He really meant it.

Then the pain shot through my body. I screamed out loud. Vince instantly pulled me into his arms, rocking me back and forth to comfort me. His body felt warm and strong. All of a sudden the lights went out and blackness engulfed me.

4. Vince’s Uncertainty

As soon as she collapsed in my arms her teeth let go of my shoulder. She probably hadn’t even noticed she had bit me. The pain had come on too fast. I knew it would, but there was no way for me to prepare her for it. It wouldn’t have made it any easier on her, she would have been even more anxious had she known how violent the pain would be.

That was why I was right there to hold her when the pain came. I was half expecting she would dig her fingernails into me, but I didn’t quite expect her teeth biting into my shoulder. I barely felt it and in a few hours the teeth marks would be gone and she wouldn’t even know when she came to. I healed fast.

The pain was a good sign. It meant my serum worked. Now it had to work itself through her body and expel everything foreign which shouldn’t be there.

I blamed myself. When I had brought her here, I had let myself be distracted by my desire for her and had neglected to examine her entire body. Had I done so, I would have found the capsule before the time release coating could have had a chance to dissolve.

I was still holding her in my arms unable to let go. I told myself she wanted me to hold her, that she had not rejected me when I had pulled her into my arms. But I knew full well that even if she had wanted to push me back, she wouldn’t have had the strength. Her holding onto me had only been a reflex caused by her pain. Holding her like I did, I could feel her breasts crushed against my chest. She only wore a t-shirt and no bra which made the sensation even more real. Her breasts molded themselves against my chest and I didn’t want to tear her away from me. They felt warm and soft and I could feel how my mind started battling again.

Take her!

I fought against my animal side.

I had bought myself a few more days with her, because I had to monitor her condition while the serum was in her body. It was the truth. It gave me one, maybe two days at the most which I could legitimately keep her here. After that even she, as trusting as she seemed to be, would want to leave.

I had noticed that many of her reactions to me and the entire situation seemed irrational. I was almost certain that this irrational behavior was a result of the contamination from the capsule and the shock she had suffered from the assault. The combination of those two forces could knock anybody off their path and screw with their mind.

I felt that once she was over the shock and her blood was cleaned of the remainder of the serum, she would come to her senses and realize the unacceptable situation she was in: alone with a dangerous stranger who looked at her with unyielding desire in his eyes.

She would leave immediately.

My resolve to let her go when this happened was still firm, but I could feel the longer I was with her, and the more I touched her, even in my capacity as her doctor, the weaker it became.

I realized she was still in my arms, unconscious. Holding her in my arms felt like the most natural thing to me. I stroked her back and I knew it was wrong to touch her, but feeling her body so close to mine, sensing the warmth and softness of her skin was like a drug for me, one I was quickly becoming addicted to. I lifted her up and carried her to my bed. She would be more comfortable there. It was painful to let her go and put her to bed, alone, but it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. As she lay in my bed, I felt how my hand suddenly reached for hers and all by itself lifted hers up to my mouth. As my lips kissed the back of her hand and lingered there for several seconds, I knew I would lose my battle soon. With all my strength I pulled myself away from her.

My stomach growled. I knew I needed to eat. I would be stronger once I had had some food. It would drown out my other desires for a while, or at least subdue them a little. I was drained, but after the third steak I felt better.

Annette had fallen into an uneven sleep and I had decided to put a heart monitor on her just in case. It was not an easy thing for me to do, since it involved touching her skin. I had to reach underneath her t-shirt to attach the nodes without looking at her. I didn’t dare lift her t-shirt which would have made it easier to attach the nodes in the right places, but would have made it impossible for me to take my hands off her again. I knew if I got a glimpse of her naked breasts my animal side would instantly not only win the battle, but also the war inside of me. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.

As I saw the line on the monitor bounce up and down in a rhythmic pattern, I felt a little better. I hooked the monitor to my network and went to the lab, where I switched on the computer creating a split screen. One side showed me the heart monitor, the other the image of the camera I had pointed at the bed.

I would be able to do some work and would still be able to watch her at the same time. I could be upstairs at her side within seconds. I turned the sound of the heart monitor up so I could hear the rhythmic beat.

I slipped into my lab coat and opened the door to the back room. The lights were already on. The wall of the room was full with plastic cages. Each cage held a mouse. They were running around in their cages, eating, chasing their tails. Each cage had a number and a date on it.

The opposite side was lined with steel benches on which I conducted my experiments. After I made sure all my mice were still alive, a ritual I performed every morning, I went back into the other room and closed the door behind me.

The beat of the heart monitor was steady. I glanced at the computer. She was asleep.

I opened the fridge and took out the contaminated blood I had taken out of Annette’s body with the help of the vacuum pump. I had stored it a sterile container the night before when she was asleep.

I distributed some of the blood into twelve vials and added a different reagent to each of them. After I marked each vial with a number, I placed half the set of vials under the incubator, closed up the other half and placed them into the centrifuge. The centrifuge made a low humming sound when I switched it on and set the timer.

I stared at the appointment card again Annette had given me, or rather that I had so rudely taken out of her hand. Dr. Ernest Entwhistle, it said. Not a name one would easily forget. I recalled the interview I had seen him give on one of the local news channels.

He had sat opposite the female anchor wearing an expensive suit. Even though he was in his thirties, his hair was all grey.

Probably genetic.

“I’m here with Dr. Ernest Entwhistle, Professor of Genetics at the Institute of Aging at UCSF,” she had introduced him. “Dr. Entwhistle, you’ve just published a paper which has created quite a stir in the medical world. Please tell us laymen more about it,” she had invited him.

His chest had inflated like a peacock during her introduction. He was full of pride.

“Thank you Kathy. It’s a pleasure being here. Since you ask, I’ll certainly try my best to explain my research in laymen’s terms,” he had said giving the camera a charming smile. He was all public relations. I had seen the type before.

“I’ve been working on one of the most exciting areas in medical research since the discovery of Penicillin: the question why we age and how we can halt the process.”

“It sounds a little like the so-called Fountain of Youth,” she had chimed in as if on cue.

He had nodded enthusiastically.

“You are a very smart woman. Indeed, we’ve been working on gene manipulation, specifically on how to switch off the gene which controls the aging process.” He had sounded excited.

“So, in fact, you’re trying to stop people from aging?” She asked to have him clarify.

“Exactly!”

“And what have you found so far?”

“We have found the receptors of the gene and isolated them so we can start testing different switches so to speak.”

Kathy had looked at her notes, before she had launched her next question.

“Dr. Entwhistle, I assume you are aware that another researcher has tried this before.”

A shadow had come across his face then.

“You are referring to Dr. Vincent Mesaros? Sure, sure. He did something similar back in the Seventies if I recall correctly,” he had mused, as if he hadn’t been sure.

In 1978 to be exact.

“But as you know, as promising as his work was at the beginning, his research wouldn’t have led in the right direction. I recall he disappeared after his lab burned out and all his records were destroyed. Surely if his research had had any merit, he would have continued, even after the fire, wouldn’t you think so?”

She had nodded briefly.

“But if his records were destroyed, what makes you think he wasn’t on the right track?” She had argued nevertheless.

“Some of his records which were believed to be lost have surfaced over the years.”

Surfaced? Impossible!

I had burned everything there was, except for the few records I had taken back with me. He had to be bluffing.

After the interview I had started collecting information on Entwhistle and followed his research closely. I knew he was dangerous because he was arrogant, as arrogant as I had been with my research. He would make the same mistakes I had made and put everybody around him in danger. So far I had been unable to put all the pieces together of what he was doing. I only had assumptions.

But now I had one more piece in the puzzle: the serum he had injected Annette with. I guessed what it was and the thought frightened me to no end.

The solid tone of the heart monitor pulled me out of my thoughts. Flat line! My heart skipped a beat.

It took me all of two seconds to run upstairs.

I stormed to the bed ready for CPR - and found it empty. A sigh of relief washed over me as I saw the nodes of the heart rate monitor attached to nothing.

“Annette!” I scanned the apartment for her. It wasn’t hard to find her. She lay on the concrete floor of the kitchen.

As I looked down at her she gave me a guilty look.

“I was thirsty. And then I got dizzy.”

“Annette, do you remember my name?”

She gave me a puzzled look. “Sure.”

“Then use it and call for me when you need something.” I was slightly irritated. “You nearly gave me a heart attack when I heard the monitor go flat line.”

“Sorry.”

She didn’t protest when I lifted her up, and it felt good to feel her in my arms after the shock she had caused me. I told myself I deserved to feel her body pressed against mine and pulled her closer to my chest.

“How did you even get this far on your own?” I tried to calm myself down while I breathed in her scent.

“With difficulty.” She grinned.

I sat her down onto the couch and poured her a large glass of water. She gulped it down. She shivered and the sight of her hardening nipples pressing through her t-shirt sent a shockwave through my loins. As much as I wanted to continue looking at her, I knew I had to cover her up. I got my bathrobe from the closet and helped her put it on. She nearly disappeared in it looking extremely cute.

“Thanks.”

“I guess I’m going to have to get you some clothes.”

“Oh, I have clothes.”

I threw her a questioning look.

“Just not here, of course. My suitcases are at Transbay Terminal.”

“So, you’ve just arrived in the City.” No wonder she knew nobody here.

“No, actually I was just leaving.”

Leaving?

I wanted to scream. She was leaving and I would have no chance of seeing her again once she left my house? My whole world seemed to collapse. If she was planning to leave San Francisco, there was even less reason for me to let her leave my house. Didn’t she understand that I couldn’t let her leave the City? I had to keep her here. I pulled myself together, and took in some much needed air.

“So, where to?” I tried to make my question sound as casual as possible, and I was sure I failed miserably at it.

“Des Moines.”

“Oh. So, you were just visiting?” She was a tourist.

“No, actually I’ve been living here for almost a year, but …”

“You don’t like San Francisco?” I probed. Why would she want to leave this great city? I had not been able to.

“No, no, it’s not that. I love it, but it’s really expensive to live here and I couldn’t get a job that paid enough.” She looked devastated.

I felt like saying she didn’t need a job, I could take care of her and she could stay, but she would have probably wondered what kind of creepy pervert I was and shrieked away from me.

I didn’t know what to say so I pointed at her empty glass.

“More water?”

She nodded. As I poured her another glass I tried to distract her.

“It looks like you’re feeling better. I think the serum has worked its way through your body. How is the pain?”

“Throbbing.”

“I’ll give you some more morphine,” I volunteered. I didn’t want her to feel any pain.

“No, I’d rather not.”

“No charge,” I joked.

She smiled lightly. “No, it’s just it makes me so drowsy and I want to be awake.”

“Let me give you some regular painkillers then. But I want to draw your blood first.”

She gave me an inquisitive look.

“I need to do a blood test to see if whatever they gave you has been eliminated.”

“Okay, sure.”

As I prepared to draw her blood I wondered why she was still so trusting. I had all reason to believe her blood was clean again. I had been working on the vaccine for quite some time and my data showed me it was effective – at least on my mice, and me.

It also seemed she was not in shock. She bore none of the usual symptoms of shock and was relatively cheerful. Yet she was still in the home of a stranger, one who had held her in his arms for longer than was necessary, one who had touched her whenever he could get away with it, one who harbored thoughts involving her naked body in his arms. A stranger who didn’t want to let her leave, now even less than ever.

I wondered whether she remembered me holding her tight when the pain had struck her. I could still feel her body clinging to me, and this thought alone filled me with desire. It was better not to think of it.

“Do you want me to get you your suitcases so that you can wear your own clothes?” I suggested.

“That’s very nice of you, but I don’t really want to impose any more than I already am.”

“No imposition at all, unless you prefer running around in a t-shirt,” I tried myself at another joke.

She blushed and I realized I had gone too far.

Idiot! Now you’ve made her aware that she’s basically half-naked! You’re going to scare her! Why couldn’t I just have kept my mouth shut for once? Why did I have to be funny?

She was obviously looking for words to hurl back at me for my insensitive remark, but I didn’t want her to get a chance.

“I’ll get the suitcases later today. Will that be ok?”

She nodded.

I concentrated on drawing her blood and didn’t look at her face again, worried she would be angry with me, or worse, frightened.

I saw the locker key on the coffee table and put it into my pocket. Then I lifted the tray with the instruments and the blood and got up from the couch.

“I’ll go analyze this in the lab. I’ll be a little while. Do you need anything before I go downstairs?”

I didn’t look directly at her.

“No, I’m fine.” Had she launched insults at me it couldn’t have been any worse. When a woman said fine, I knew from experience she meant anything but fine. I had blown it. She hated me.

Without another word I went downstairs and hoped my work would distract me for a few hours.

5. Annette’s Discoveries

He couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I was sure as soon as he had analyzed the blood and it was all clear, he would find an excuse to get rid of me. No wonder he was so eager to get my suitcases for me. The sooner I was dressed the sooner … I couldn’t finish the thought. I was getting to be too much of a bother for him. I could tell he had been annoyed with me when he had found me on the kitchen floor.

He probably had women lined up wanting to date him. I suddenly realized that today was Saturday. What if he had a date for tonight? What handsome and successful man didn’t?

And he was handsome, sexy, kind, and probably quite successful as a doctor. His place certainly looked like it was state of the art when in came to fixtures and furnishings. I knew a thing or two about these things as an avid Home and Garden TV viewer. The concrete floor wasn’t my taste, but I knew it was in. I loved the kitchen and his top of the line appliances. I wondered whether he cooked much, considering his kitchen was basically restaurant quality.

I had also been surprised about the fabulous bathroom. It lacked a bathtub, but I knew men preferred showers and the magnificent shower certainly made up for the lack of a tub. The shower was tiled from top to bottom with a stone I didn’t recognize. It had different hues of greens. The counter with the large sink was made of white marble which I thought had gone out of fashion lately, but I still liked it.

There was lots of indirect lighting in his entire apartment. It was cleverly done in a way to simulate natural light, because except for the large skylight over the living room, there was not a single window in his place. He didn’t strike me as somebody who didn’t like light, so his choice of abode was somewhat strange.

There were other odd things I had noticed in my short time at his place. When I had gotten up to try to get something to drink, I had opened the fridge. It was filled with raw steaks, at least a couple dozen of them. The smell of the raw meat was probably what had made me dizzy.

There was virtually nothing else in the fridge. Was he planning a BBQ for the weekend?

He was certainly not an ordinary guy. I counted myself very lucky that he had been the one who had found me after the attack, after the creature had scared off my assailant.

The creature --- I had suppressed the memory of it. I remembered very little of it. At first as it had pulled the man off me, I had gotten a glimpse of the claws. They had resembled those of a big cat, such as a mountain lion. I knew, because I had seen many big cats in my life. In fact I had worked at the zoo in Des Moines at the big cat enclosure.

However, the claws hadn’t looked entirely as being those of an animal. They had had some human qualities which was the reason I had been startled. I remembered how I had looked up and past my attacker’s head where two amber colored eyes had flickered at me.

I remembered it had felt like the eyes had locked with mine, as if the creature had held my gaze. There had been something human in those amber animal eyes. From my time in the zoo I had come to realize that certain animals seemed as if they looked at humans trying to talk to them.

It was ludicrous, of course. Animals didn’t talk, but I had the feeling they wanted to communicate. I had had the same feeling when I had stared into the creature’s eyes. It was as if it had wanted to tell me something. I hadn’t been afraid, I had been mesmerized.

I wondered whether I had imagined it all. If some wild creature was on the loose in San Francisco, surely the media would have reported something. But I couldn’t recall having seen anything on the news. Maybe my attacker had made a report, which certainly was very unlikely given he probably wasn’t the kind who went to the police. But it was worth a shot.

A large screen TV was positioned opposite the couch where I was still sitting, and several remote controls lay on the coffee table. How many remote controls did it take to switch on a TV? I reached for one and pressed the on button.

As soon as I heard the sound above me I realized I had picked the wrong one. I looked up and metal blinds started to pull across the skylight.

Oops! Wrong remote!

I quickly pressed the same button again and immediately the blinds started retracting until they were hidden and the skylight was unobstructed again.

I chose the next remote control and was lucky. The TV came on instantly. It was in black and white. What channel was it on? I wasn’t interested in some back-and-while classic movie. It looked creepy enough: the movie showed a room with a wall full of cages. I looked closer.  The cages were filled with mice.

Frankenstein?

I looked at the remote trying to figure out how to change the channel. I found the familiar up and down arrows and pressed one of them. I looked at the picture again. It was still the same movie, only now the camera angle was different. Was the movie showing on two different channels?

I stared at the screen again. The door to the room opened and a man in a white lab coat came in. I pressed one of the arrows again to change to the next channel and stopped cold. Pressing the down arrow had changed the camera angle yet again, only this time it was pointed directly at the face of the man in the while lab coat: Vince.

I wasn’t watching a movie, I was watching Vince through his home security system. He was downstairs in his lab.

At first I wanted to switch off the screen, but my curiosity was stronger. Why did he have such an elaborate security system in his home? What was he hiding?

As I watched him take a mouse out of its cage and take it to the lab bench I wondered whether I had gotten in too deep. What if I was at the house of some mad psycho scientist? What if when he was done with the mice he needed some human to experiment on?

And then it struck me. What if he had already experimented on me? I had no idea what he had injected me with and I had been stupid enough not to resist at all. I remembered the intense pain I had felt when he had injected me with his serum and started to panic. What was it supposed to do? Was it going to eventually paralyze me so that I couldn’t leave, or was it some sort of date-rape drug which would make me completely incapable of putting up a fight? What had he done? Why had I let it happen? How stupid was I?

Putting on his charm and pretending to be the nice guy was probably all an act. Hadn’t I already seen a glimpse of his real face when he had acted so strangely when questioning me about the clinical trial? He had looked agitated as if he had barely been able to get his temper under control.

And then, when he had returned minutes later and had suddenly looked all calm and normal again, wasn’t that a sign he was unstable, maybe schizophrenic?

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

I wanted to scream. What if he was a serial killer?

Was there a serial killer on the loose in San Francisco? I scanned my memory for any news articles I had read in the past few weeks, but nothing jumped out.

There had been the strange story of the Austrian girl who had been kidnapped by a man and kept in his basement for over ten years. Nobody had even suspected anything. But that was in Europe. What if he was a copycat?

My throat was suddenly dry and I had trouble swallowing. He had asked me whether there was anybody he could contact for me. I had volunteered that I had nobody. He knew that nobody would come looking for me. How could I have been so stupid?

I was panicking now.  I pressed the power button of the remote and the screen went blank. I didn’t want to watch any longer. I needed to think clearly and figure out a way of how to get out of the situation I was in.

I tried to familiarize myself with the apartment as much as possible. How could I escape? I couldn’t outrun him, not with my injured leg. I wouldn’t even make it to the door, let alone through it.

Besides, I had no idea where I was. Was I still in the City or was this place outside of San Francisco, maybe in a wooded area? How far would I have to go to find help?

I couldn’t believe that only hours ago I had been so infatuated with him. Maybe I had been in shock. But now I could see clearly. I had to get away.

Nothing made sense anymore.

“Annette.”

I shrieked as I heard his voice behind me. I hadn’t heard him come back up.

I looked at him and he seemed to be taken aback by my reaction.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice was smooth again. Ah, how he could turn on the charm! He looked dead sexy in his khaki pants and t-shirt. I noticed how muscular his arms were, and how broad his chest was and knew instantly that if he wanted to hold me down I would have no chance in hell of fighting him, not even if I wasn’t injured.

He seemed to notice my pained expression. He stretched out his open hand.

“I’m sorry, I forgot the painkillers I’ve promised you.” He handed me two white pills.

I looked at them suspiciously, and had no intention of swallowing them.

“It doesn’t hurt that badly,” I lied.

“If you say so.” He seemed oddly resigned, but wasn’t pressing me.

“I’ll go get your suitcases. Do you need anything else while I’m out?”

Here was my chance. If I could keep him out long enough, I could figure out a way to escape. What other errand could I send him on so he wouldn’t be back too soon? My stomach growled as if on cue.

“I’m hungry.” I knew that except for steaks he had virtually nothing in the refrigerator.

“Would you like a steak?”

“Sorry, I’m a vegetarian,” I lied again. I would have loved a juicy steak, but instead I needed to send him on a fool’s errand. “Do you think you could stop by somewhere for some Chinese?”

He raised his eyebrow. “You know that stuff’s no good for you; it’s full of MSG.”

I gave him a pleading smile.

“But if you want Chinese, I’ll get you Chinese,” he conceded only too easily.

“Thanks. Here’s some money for it.” I wanted to hand him one of the twenty dollar bills I had on the coffee table, but he waved me off.

“On the house,” he smiled. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

Not if I can help it!

He turned and walked out the door. I heard his footsteps on the stairs. Seconds later I heard what sounded like a garage door opening and then the roaring sound of a car engine.

I was alone again.

There was no time to be wasted. First I needed to find something to wear. Since I had no idea where I was, I had to be prepared to be out in the cold for a while. I peeled myself out of the couch and staggered to his walk-in closet.

With each move my leg throbbed harder. I looked at the coffee table where he had left me the painkillers, but I wanted to stay alert, and the pain helped. When I opened the closet, I didn’t know what I had expected, but the contents were entirely normal for a man. A few suits, lots of pants, jeans, shirts and t-shirts. I knew all his clothes would be way too large for me, but luckily it had come into fashion for girls to wear their boyfriend’s jeans. I wouldn’t be out of place.

I took one of his jeans from the hanger and limped back to the couch.

Lying down on the couch it was easier to slip the jeans over my injured leg. I was careful not to touch my wound. It was expertly bandaged. I had to give him that. Whatever he was, he was a pretty good doctor, if he really was a doctor.

The short walk back from the closet had exhausted me. I took a brief break, just breathing in and out. I could feel how weak I was and knew I had to eat something before I left. As I got up, I had to hold up the jeans with my hands. I would have to get a belt or something to hold it up.

But now all I could think of was eating something. I opened the fridge and took out a steak. It was huge, but I was hungry. It wasn’t hard to work out how to turn on the grill and it didn’t take long for it to heat up.

I slapped the meat onto the hot grill and it sizzled. The smell made me even hungrier. I looked at the clock on the oven and realized I hadn’t eaten in over twenty-four hours, since my late breakfast the day I had left Carmela’s flat.

No wonder I felt weak. I liked my steak medium and it didn’t take long for it to cook to perfection. As I finally took the first bite, I felt better. The steak was delicious. I hadn’t had a good steak in a long time. My meager wages didn’t quite allow me to splurge like that.

After I had devoured the entire steak, I suddenly felt tired. There was no harm in resting for a few more minutes, I told myself as I hobbled back to the couch. I needed all the strength I could muster, so shutting my eyes for a few minutes couldn’t all be bad. I wouldn’t sleep. I would just rest my eyes for a few minutes.

No!

I had to stay alert. I pulled myself up and got up from the couch. Realizing that the jeans were slipping down my thighs, I knew I needed to get to his closet once more. He had to have a belt which I could use to hold up the jeans. I searched through his drawers: underwear, socks. There, belts.

I picked one and pulled it through the hooks on the jeans, but when I tried to close it I was out of luck. There weren’t enough holes in the belt. I threw it back into the drawer. Maybe a tie would do the trick. I opened the next drawer, but found no clothes.

The drawer was filled with stacks of photos. Curiosity got the better of me. As I dropped myself to the floor I took out a stack and looked through them. I was fascinated by one of the photos. It showed a group of people in their late twenties, Vince amongst them, who were at some party. They were dancing. Vince was laughing.

I noticed their clothes were awful. The colors seemed out of place. I had never seen so many people showing no taste in clothing whatsoever. Then I realized it was a theme party: they all wore seventies style clothing. It was strange to see him like that. He was maybe five years younger then and his face looked carefree and happy. Was this really the face of a maniac?

I looked through more of the photos. It appeared they had taken lots of photos at that party, or maybe it was more than one seventies theme party. I knew that for a while after the movie Boogie Nights had hit the cinemas, theme parties were quite the rage.

I pushed the drawer shut again. I had to go. After I finally found a tie, I used it to tie the jeans tight so that they wouldn’t drop down. I found my sweater in the bedroom area and remembered Vince had left my sneakers by the door. I put them on.

As I stuffed my money into the jeans pocket I realized I didn’t know where my handbag was. I remembered I had slung it over my shoulder like a messenger bag, the way bike messengers did, so I knew the attacker couldn’t have grabbed it. And it couldn’t have easily fallen off me either.

This meant most likely my bag was in the lab where he had treated me. I couldn’t leave without it. I needed my ID and my ticket to Des Moines. With a bit of luck I could exchange it for a ticket for another day.

It wasn’t easy to navigate the stairs and consequently it took me longer than I thought to get to the lab. The door was unlocked. For the fact that Vince was a psycho, he was surprisingly trusting. Or had he thought I wouldn’t be able to make my way down the stairs due to my injury? Or maybe the pills he had left me were meant to knock me out while he was gone. Had he counted on me being in too much pain and therefore taking his pain killers sooner or later?

Whatever the reason, I had no trouble entering the lab. There was a lab stool close to the door and I made use of it. I was able to roll myself around without difficulty. I saw the surgery table and realized this had been the place where I had woken up after the attack and first looked into Vince’s eyes.

I spotted my bag. It lay next to the computer. I took it quickly, but the strap got caught with the computer mouse which moved. The screensaver which had displayed on the computer screen suddenly disappeared and a document became visible.

I glanced at the screen briefly and was about to turn around when my name jumped out at me. I looked at the sentence which contained my name.  The blood test confirms Annette’s blood was infected with the serum. I couldn’t stop reading. I have not yet been able to confirm its molecular structure. There was more medical jargon which I didn’t understand. Dr. Entwhistle’s research turns more dangerous daily and if he is indeed doing what I suspect him of I have no choice but to stop him before he endangers more lives. Dr. Entwhistle was the doctor whose clinical trial I had participated in. I remembered his name now from the card I had given to Vince. I continued reading until I got to the last sentences. I can’t allow anything bad to happen to her. I have to protect her until it is safe for her to leave. I am still concerned about the irregular heart beat she presents with and am unsure as to the cause of it. I hope my antidote was not too late. The analysis of her blood should give me certainty in a few hours. I blame myself for not having caught Entwhistle’s serum earlier.

I understood now. He was protecting me. Whatever he had found in my blood, he thought it was a danger to me. He had every intention of letting me go. He hadn’t kidnapped me, not in the true sense of the word, and he wasn’t holding me against my will.

He was a concerned doctor who had discovered that another doctor was doing dangerous things, and he was prepared to stop it. I felt ashamed now for the thoughts I had harbored. In my mind I had called him a psycho, a maniac, a serial killer. What was I thinking?

Was it the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything and my blood sugar was so low I had started hallucinating?

He deserved my trust, not my suspicion. Had it been too long since I had met a decent person that I had forgotten to recognize one when I met one? It was inexcusable.

I had to trust him.

And I had to get back upstairs fast, before he got back and found me snooping around in his lab.

6. Vince’s Trespass

She had acted strange when I had left her. I was worried, truly worried I had blown it. She was like a delicate flower and I was only too aware that I was the elephant in the glass shop, but I had no time to think about how to remedy this now. I had things to take care of.

Picking up her suitcases from the lockers at Transbay Terminal took only a few minutes. I dropped them into the trunk of my BMW and got back into the driver’s seat. The car was black and its windows were tinted so dark nobody on the outside could see in. I avoided being seen and possibly recognized by some old acquaintances, as slim as the chance might be.

I took the back roads via Twin Peaks to get onto UCSF’s campus passing by the University’s Aldea housing units. Saturday was generally a quiet day at the University. All staff except for medical personnel was off work and those working were busy covering each other’s shifts. It would be easy enough to slip in and out unseen.

I parked my car behind a mobile construction office where it wouldn’t get noticed for a while. On weekends the perimeter access doors were all locked. It didn’t matter. I had acquired a key card shortly after the new system had been implemented on campus, and relied on the inefficiency of University administrative staff to cancel lost and stolen cards and cards of deceased employees. I could always count on the underpaid and underappreciated staff to lack morale and a sense of responsibility.

I swiped my card at the door and heard the familiar high pitched beep granting me access to the building. It was good to know nothing had changed in the years since I had worked here.

I knew where Entwhistle’s lab was and had no trouble finding it. I had a key to it, as I had a key to many of the labs at UCSF. It was just another loophole in the University’s control environment. Anybody who knew the number of the key they needed could order it via the University’s own lock shop and have it delivered to any University address.

The rest was easy. Their internal controls had more holes than Swiss cheese. I took advantage of the system, one I had once been so frustrated with. I regularly helped myself to the supplies I needed for my research and keys to the various labs were essential for that. It was not that I didn’t want to pay for the supplies, but certain things I couldn’t order without a valid medical license, and mine had expired almost thirty years ago. I therefore had to count on the University’s lax security systems to get the restricted supplies I needed to continue my research, especially drugs like morphine and other controlled substances.

I entered Entwhistle’s lab. It was a large room, divided by so-called benches lined with lots of cabinets, sinks and pipes for various gases and liquids. Boxes of extra supplies stood everywhere. It was the usual chaos I encountered in every lab I knew.

I knew most clinical trial records were kept in large ring binders. Entwhistle had several live studies and it took me a while to find the one Annette was enrolled in. I read through the protocol, but it didn’t involve any injection. It was just a regular blood study, nothing out of the ordinary. It was the wrong study.

I had seen the cash she had taken out of her jeans pocket: eighty dollars, which seemed too much for just one visit.  I confirmed my suspicion when I found the page outlining compensation to the study subjects. It was only forty dollars per visit.

I went through more of his binders, but there was nothing. What if he was doing this study without approval? Then there wouldn’t be a binder. He would have to keep the records somewhere else. Each physician also had an academic office separate from his lab. So did Entwhistle.

I made my way up two flights of stairs and found his office in the newer part of the building. I knew they had recently renovated the floor and eliminated keys in favor of code entry systems. I didn’t know the code to his room, but I knew out of experience people liked something they could easily remember. There were enough passwords to keep.

I looked at the room number and punched it into the entry system. I heard a click. People were so predictable. I pressed the door handle down and slipped into his office.

His desk had lots of papers strewn around. Saying he was messy was an understatement. How could the man find anything he was looking for? And how was I going to find what I was looking for?

A cursory look through the papers on his desk indicated that nothing of importance was lying around. If he was doing something without proper human subjects approval, his findings would be locked up.

His desk drawers were locked. It wasn’t hard to pick the lock. In my many years of living below anybody’s radar I had acquired useful skills no school was teaching. I pulled the first drawer open and leafed through the files. Nothing regarding the clinical trial.

I closed the drawer and opened the bottom drawer. Again, nothing. This meant the only other place he could keep the files was at his home.

I put everything back into its proper place, and it looked like I had never been there, with one exception: the desk drawers were now unlocked. I had a fifty-fifty chance of him not noticing or thinking he had forgotten to lock them. I would take that chance. Even if he noticed that somebody had opened his desk drawers, he wouldn’t know who. He would probably suspect a staff member first. And besides, somebody as messy as he was would probably not even notice anyway.

I got back to my car unseen. I looked at the clock on my dashboard and knew I had to hurry back. Half an hour later I was on my way back to my place, Chinese takeout on the passenger seat and a bag of groceries in the back.

The car couldn’t drive fast enough for me. I felt an overwhelming urgency to get back. I had been gone for over two hours and I wanted to get back to Annette. She had been acting a little strange before I had left, and I was anxious to see if she felt better.

As soon as I came up the stairs to enter my place I could smell it: the scent of cooked meat. Hadn’t she said she was a Vegetarian?

She sat on the couch when I entered, still in my bathrobe, still looking terribly cute. She smiled at me.

“Hi,” she said simply and her voice was soft.

I was relieved and smiled back at her. “Hi.” I almost choked up. I pointed at the Chinese takeout in my hand.

“I brought you some food, unless you’re not hungry anymore?” I pretended to only just now take in the smell of cooked meat.

She gave me a sheepish look. “I hope you don’t mind, but I ate one of your steaks.”

“Vegetarian, huh?” I grinned.

“I was really hungry, and I figured the cow was already dead, so …”

Her logic was charming. I laughed. For the first time I saw her laugh too. It was infectious and made her look even more beautiful.

I carried the grocery bag to the kitchen counter and sat it down. I would have much rather gone to the couch and taken her into my arms, but it was out of the question. I was still a stranger to her. She was in a good mood and I didn’t want to spoil it. I would try to find a legitimate reason to touch her later. I was suffering from intense withdrawal symptoms.

“I got you a few things from the supermarket. I don’t really know what you eat for breakfast, so I got you some cereals and yoghurts, milk and juice.” I unpacked the items and put most of them into the fridge.

“Thanks. You didn’t need to do that.”

I did. If she had taken a steak out of the fridge, she would have noticed there was barely anything else in there. Was she not planning to stay for breakfast? I hid my panicked look by turning to the pantry and placing the cereal boxes into it.

“You need your strength. No use in skipping breakfast.” I sounded like a school teacher.

“Thanks for taking such good care of me. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

Don’t say anything stupid now! I cautioned myself.

“Don’t worry, it’s on the house.” I felt it was safe enough, a little aloof maybe, but safe.

“You must be bored sitting around here all day. If you want to watch TV, go ahead,” I suggested.

“I’m not sure how to switch it on. There are too many remotes.”

She was right. It could be a little confusing. I walked over to the couch and picked the right remote for the TV and switched it on for her.

The TV monitor came on immediately. It took me only a split second to realize the picture on the monitor was my lab and I had forgotten to change the setting back to TV input, rather than security camera input. I flicked the switch immediately and was sure she hadn’t noticed since I was partially blocking her view of the TV.

“There.” I handed the remote to her. “You can change the channels with these up and down buttons.” I was sure she knew how to work a remote, but I wanted an excuse to stay close to her and in order to show her the buttons I had to bend down to her. My head was only inches away from hers, too close for a stranger and not close enough for a lover. The beast inside me screamed to touch her like a lover would. Holding back was painful.

How long would it take her to figure out that everything I did was designed so I could be close to her? I had to be careful.

“How is your leg?”

She instantly opened the bathrobe to show me her leg. She caught me off guard. I had expected her to tell me whether it hurt or not. I hadn’t expected her to show me her leg so readily. She obviously had no idea what effect her body had on me. She just saw me as a doctor and found it completely natural to show me her naked skin whenever I asked her to. I pretended to examine the bandage for any evidence of bleeding, when I really stared at her skin recalling its softness under my touch while I fantasized about running my hands up her thighs.

“I think it’s alright.” Her voice broke through the fog in my head. “I took the painkillers.”

“That’s good. Let me know when it’s throbbing again, and I’ll give you some more.” I tried to sound as professional as I could under the circumstances when in reality I could barely breathe.

I needed something to distract me.

I remembered suddenly that she had asked me earlier if she could take a shower and I had an idea of how it would work which didn’t involve me being in the shower with her, as much as I liked the idea. I excused myself, snatched a stool from the kitchen area and carried it into the bathroom, preparing the shower for her.

Then I hurried back into the kitchen and took a roll of cling film and some tape and sat down next to her on the couch. She stared at the cling film skeptically without any idea of what I was planning.

“Would you still like to take a shower?” I asked her.

Her eyes lit up. “Absolutely.”

“Okay then. Let me wrap your bandages so you won’t get them wet.”

She willingly opened her bathrobe for me again and I took my time wrapping her thigh. Finally I could touch her again. Her skin felt softer than I remembered and I moved slower than I could have. I didn’t want to rush it. She was patient and didn’t seem to mind either. When I took the tape to seal the cling film on each side so no water could come in above or below, I took special care making sure the tape was tight. My hands pressed against her skin many times during the procedure and I felt elated. Would she notice how my fingers lingered on her skin? She seemed oblivious to it. How long could I keep on doing this without her noticing?

I covered a smaller area on her other thigh where she had been injected.

“Ready?”

She put her arms around my neck in anticipation, and I lifted her up. Her head was so close to mine it wouldn’t have taken me much to kiss her right there and then. Resisting was almost painful.

If she looked so appealing to me when she was ill and wearing an oversized bathrobe, I wondered what she would look like when she was well again and wearing a pretty dress.

“Thanks.”

No, thank you!

I pulled her a little closer as I carried her into the bathroom, and if she noticed she didn’t say anything.

I stepped into the shower with her and sat her onto the stool I had placed in the middle of it. On the outside of the shower I had put another stool with two towels, one to sit on and the other to dry off with.

“Let me see if you can reach to turn on the shower.”

She stretched out her hand. I had to adjust the stool forward a little, so she could reach the handle to turn on the shower.

“Better.”

“Can you still reach the stool with the towels?”

She tested. “No problem.”

“Just throw the bathrobe on the floor outside the shower. I’ll pick things up later.” I was about to walk out of the bathroom when she stopped me.

“Vince.” Hearing my name spoken by her still made my heart jump. It felt like a caress in my ears. “Did you bring the suitcases?”

“Oh, sure. I’ll bring them up. They’re in the car.”

I rushed downstairs and grabbed her suitcases from the trunk. They didn’t seem very heavy to me. I got to the bathroom door and looked in.

“Which one do you want in here?”

“Could you please let me have the black one and open it for me too?” She smiled at me.

I made space on the marble counter, lifted the suitcase onto it and opened it.

“Don’t wear anything too tight around your bandages please, and if you need me to take off the cling film for you afterwards, call me.” She wouldn’t need help with that, of course, but one could always hope.

I almost regretted having volunteered to fetch her suitcases. Now I wouldn’t be able to see quite as much of her anymore. I closed the door behind me. A short while later I heard the shower. I imagined her sitting on the stool completely naked, the water running down her perfect body. I pictured the drops of water falling onto her perfectly formed breasts and bouncing off her skin, and wondered what it would be like to touch them.

Stop!

Fantasizing like this made it even harder for me to resist just grabbing her and throwing her onto my bed to make her mine.

It was still light outside, but the day was drawing to a close. Less than twenty four hours earlier I had been alone. What a difference a day had made. Suddenly there was somebody in my life, somebody I didn’t want to leave.

I knew I only had a limited time to make her trust me, and, I hoped, love me. I couldn’t come out telling her who or what I was yet. She would just be too freaked. I needed to make her understand first that there was still good in me. Once she had discovered my horrible secret she would be either too scared or too disgusted to stay with me.

I was aware that she had nobody here, but my human side disliked the idea of taking advantage of that. I wanted her to be with me because she wanted to, not because she had no other options. I wanted her to have options and still choose me.

I was dreaming again, daydreaming. I lay on the couch staring up at the skylight. The fog had suddenly started to disappear and it seemed like it would turn into a starry night. I had always loved the City and knew it even better by night than by day.

She had told me she had been in San Francisco for almost a year, and things obviously hadn’t gone as she had expected. I wondered whether she was so disappointed that she wanted to just start fresh somewhere else. If I could convince her San Francisco was worth another try, maybe she would want to stay.

I had an idea.

The shower had stopped. I knocked at the bathroom door. “Annette.”

“I’m not ready yet,” I heard her panicked voice.

“Don’t worry, I’m not coming in.” I paused. “Wear something warm, I’m taking you out.”

My heart was pounding while I waited for a response. It felt like an eternity until I heard her voice again.

“You mean I’m not too sick to go out?”

I had almost forgotten about her leg. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to walk anywhere. And besides, you’ll be under medical supervision at all times.” I laughed. I was suddenly in a great mood.

It was Saturday night and I had a date for the first time in over thirty years. Of course, she didn’t know it was a date, but it didn’t matter. For me, it would still be a date, one where I could show her my best side, make her feel comfortable and hope she would enjoy my company.

She took my breath away when I opened the bathroom door after she had called for me. Her long hair was shiny and her cheeks rosy from the hot shower. She wore a thick, but figure hugging blue sweater and black straight-cut corduroys. I was pleased to see her pants were not too tight and would not constrict her bandages underneath.

She beamed at me as I lifted her up and carried her to the couch.

“Here.” I handed her a couple of pain killers. “You should take these before the pain comes back.” She swallowed them without protest.

“Do you have a warm jacket?” It was May, but I knew it would be cold. San Francisco’s summer didn’t normally arrive until September.

“There’s one in my suitcase.” She pointed to the bathroom and I jumped up to get it for her.

I found the jacket and turned when I suddenly saw the towel she had been using. I stared at it in shock, grabbed it and ran to the sofa.

“Annette, why didn’t you tell me that you were bleeding?” I showed her the towel with the blood stains.

She blushed and looked embarrassed. I was ready to examine her leg, when she stopped me.

“It’s not my leg.” She paused uncomfortably.

“Did you fall in the shower?” I asked, not understanding. I was worried now.

“No, I didn’t fall. I, I …” She didn’t finish her sentence.

It finally clicked.

“Oh.” I paused uncomfortably. “Do you have some …?”

She shook her head.

“Don’t worry. There’s a corner store at the end of the street. I’ll get you some. Do you have a preferred brand?” I tried to be as professional as possible.

She looked at me like I had just offered to drive to the North Pole for her.

“Just regular size, thanks,” she said shyly.

“Back in a sec.”

I rushed to the store and bought her a box of tampons. The Chinese woman at the checkout didn’t look at me twice. A man buying tampons for his girlfriend was probably nothing unusual.

Girlfriend?

I was back at home in no time.

I could barely wait until she was done in the bathroom and ready to go. I carried her down the stairs into the garage and gently placed her into the passenger seat of my car. I made sure she was comfortable before I got in on the other side.

The garage door opened up and we drove out onto the street. I saw in the rear view mirror that the garage door shut behind us.

“We’re downtown.” She sounded surprised.

I realized she hadn’t had any idea of where she had been.

“Where are we going?”

I smiled at her. “It’s a surprise.”

I drove along Market Street and turned off onto 17th Street when I reached the Castro. As I sped up the hill she looked relaxed. My fast driving didn’t seem to frighten her. The road up to Twin Peaks was winding, but I knew it well. I could see several cars up at the viewing area.

I turned into the parking area and stopped the car. She wanted to open the door.

“Wait. I promised you wouldn’t have to walk.”

I got out of the car and ran over to her side, opening the door for her. I bent down to her and lifted her out, then closed the car door with my hip. The viewing area was a half circle bordered by a three feet high wall. I lifted Annette onto the wall and sat her down letting her feet dangle over the other side.

“I’m going to have to hold you so you won’t slip,” I explained as I stood behind her and wrapped my right arm around her waist. It was the perfect excuse to have her firmly in my grip. She didn’t seem to notice that it was just a ruse for me to hold her in my arms.

The view from Twin Peaks was amazing. The lights of the City sparkled.

“I’ve been here before.”

Darn. I should have known.

“But only by day,” she continued. “It’s even more beautiful at night.”

“I agree.” I was pleased. “Do you see the long line of lights down there?”

I put my head next to hers and stretched out my left arm. She followed my direction. Would she notice that our cheeks were only inches away from touching? Would she pull away if she did?

“That’s Market Street, and at the end you can make out the Ferry Building.”

I showed her the entire City, pointed out important buildings like the Pyramid and new high rises like the One Rincon Hill. I knew where each neighborhood was. It was almost tranquil looking down on the sparkling lights and trying to make out the different buildings in the night. I had no trouble with it. Even though I hadn’t grown up in San Francisco, I had lived most of my adult life here. I knew every street, every corner and every alley.

San Francisco was a hodgepodge of distinct little neighborhoods, each more unique than the next. The City was built on a number of hills and valleys creating numerous microclimates within it. While the Sunset district toward the Pacific Ocean was a very uniform and flat area with mostly 1940s and 50s era homes occupied by a predominately Chinese population which endured the constant fog creeping in from the ocean, Noe Valley in contrast was a Mecca for young families who loved the sunny neighborhood and the pretty views into downtown or toward the East Bay. The Mission was another sunny neighborhood with a mostly Latino population, a vibrant restaurant scene and still a fair amount of crime.

The North side of town was old San Francisco, where the rich and established families lived, the people who had made their money in real estate, finance and other business ventures. The neighborhoods of Nob Hill, Russian Hill, Cow Hollow, the Marina and Pacific Heights represented the epicenter of money in San Francisco. This was where many of the grand old homes were located, the splendid Victorians and Edwardians which gave the City its unique character and had made it famous all over the world.

Looking down onto the City from the top of Twin Peaks was how I often started my nights. It helped me focus my mind. So much danger lurked in the dark alleys and entrance ways just like in any large city. I could sense evil and there was lots of it hidden away under the many layers of this beautiful city. I felt it my duty to use my senses to help save some of the innocents who were in danger each time night fell on the City. Of course, I couldn’t tell her all this.

“How do you recognize all these places by night?”

“I come here a lot.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t interpret the sound of her voice.

“Alone, I come here a lot alone.”

I could feel how her body relaxed into my chest and instinctively my arm around her waist pulled her even closer. My head moved closer to hers. I pointed more buildings out to her because I didn’t want to let go of her. It felt good to hold her and feel her head so close to mine. I would only have to move a couple of inches and I would be able to kiss her. It was tempting to say the least.

“Annette?” I heard a female voice to our right. We both turned our heads at the same time.

A young woman a little bit older than Annette stood only a few yards away from us. She had a young man in tow.

“Carmela!” Annette exclaimed.

“I thought you’d left to go back to Des Moines,” Carmela asked while looking me up and down.

I helped Annette turn and move her legs over the other side toward Carmela.

“Yeah, something came up,” Annette said very cautiously. I had noticed how the young man had tried to stay in the shadow, but the lights of a turning car suddenly illuminated his face.

Annette looked at him. I could see she recognized him. He was in his twenties and had what I would have called a baby face.

“I can see that,” Carmela continued as she gave me another obvious stare. “Don’t you want to introduce us?”

Annette seemed reluctant.

“Sure. Carmela this is Vince. Vince, this is my ex-roommate Carmela. And Ben.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said politely. I could feel Annette was uncomfortable. I decided to take the initiative and get her out of a situation she didn’t seem to want to be in. “I wish we could stay and chat a little, but we’ll be late for our dinner reservation.”

Annette threw me a grateful look.

I felt Carmela’s and Ben’s surprised looks on me as I lifted Annette into my arms. I wondered what they were thinking.

“Take care,” Annette said to them, as I carried her away.

“Who is Ben?” I asked her once we were far enough away for them not to hear us talking.

“I dated him for a while. I guess Carmela is dating him now.”

Ouch!

He was her type, that pimply, skinny kid? It hurt. She looked past me.

“They are staring at us.”

“Would you like to give them something worth staring at?”

When she looked at me surprised, I realized I had spoken out loud. I hadn’t meant to. She seemed to immediately understand what I had meant and I detected an almost unnoticeable nod of her head. Did I see right? Under the next street lamp I stopped und turned us to the side so Carmela and Ben could see our profiles.

I wanted to confirm, to be sure she had understood me. “Yes?”

“Yes.”

I lowered my head toward hers and slowly approached her lips. I wanted to do everything right. This was my chance to give her a preview of what I felt, and I didn’t want to screw it up. As my lips touched hers I could feel her warmth stream into me. Very tenderly I pressed my lips against hers and was surprised to notice how her lips parted, inviting me. She didn’t have to do that. Our observers wouldn’t be able to see this intimate detail from such distance. Was it a reflex on her part, or did she want me to go further? Did she like being kissed by me? Was it possible?

Hesitantly I let my tongue slide between her soft lips. There was no resistance. Instead I felt her tongue meet mine as I explored her mouth. It was like a shock to me. She kissed me back! I pulled back trying to recover from the lightening bolts her touch sent through my entire body.

I gazed into her eyes. “Are they still watching?” I heard myself say.

She didn’t look away to check. “Yes,” was all she said before her lips met mine again. Was she the one who kissed me now? Was she initiating this? Again her lips parted and welcomed my tongue to explore her incessantly. If she didn’t want to stop me, I couldn’t be stopped. I didn’t have the willpower to let go of her. Her mouth was too inviting, too tempting. She released an almost inaudible moan into my mouth, a sound which told me how much she enjoyed our intimate exchange. It made me bolder. I kissed her harder, more passionately, and still she didn’t resist. Why would she not stop me? Why did she let me kiss her like that? How far would she let me go? She wasn’t stopping, she wasn’t showing any resistance. She just continued kissing me back as passionately as I kissed her. A sound rising from deep within me escaped my lips and I was worried that this kind of primal passion would scare her, but instead of pulling back, her lips and her tongue became more demanding than I had thought this girl would be capable of. Her passion aroused me and I knew I was getting close to losing control. I could feel my body become more rigid, a sign my transformation was close. I could feel the war in me raging.

I had to stop.

Just another few seconds.

When I pulled my lips away from hers, I thought I could detect what sounded like a disappointed sigh coming from her throat. Was she as disappointed as I was that I couldn’t continue stilling the hunger I had for her?

“We should go, otherwise we might get arrested.” I smiled at her trying to gain my composure back.

“Do you think they saw us?”

I glanced back at where we had left the two. They were still standing at the same spot with their mouths open. I had almost forgotten about them.

“Oh, yeah. They stayed for the whole performance,” I assured her.

I carried her back to the car and we drove down the hill.

“There’s a little French bistro in the area. Do you like French food?” I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I needed to take her somewhere where I couldn’t touch her. Somewhere civilized, somewhere where I couldn’t let my desire for her run wild. My lips were burning and I could still taste her. If I remained alone with her for another five minutes, I would stop the car in a dark side street and make her mine right there and then. I would throw her onto the back seat of the car and rip the clothes off her luscious body before I would have sex with her in every conceivable way if she wanted to or not. I couldn’t let it happen. I had to cool down. I had to bring her to a public place, to relative safety for her.

“I’ve never had French food.”

“Well, you’ll like this one. Hungry?” I was, but not for food.

“I could have a bite.” Did she mean the food?

7. Annette’s Dinner Date

I leaned back in the leather seat of his car and replayed the past ten minutes in my head. It made me dizzy doing it, but I couldn’t stop thinking of what had happened.

I touched my lips with my fingers. They felt plump and almost raw. I could still feel his skin on mine, five o’clock shadow and all. I was disappointed when he had suddenly stopped.

Seeing Carmela and Ben at the top of Twin Peaks was quite unexpected. I didn’t know they were now an item, but it didn’t take much for me to put two and two together. However, I was grateful for the excuse they had provided us with. Vince had to have felt I wanted to get back at them just a little, for having kept their relationship a secret from me.

I was surprised when he had suggested it, but jumped at the chance of kissing him, even if it was all an act. It wasn’t an act for me though. I wanted to find out what I would feel when he kissed me. I wondered why he had responded to my kiss in such a seemingly passionate way. I knew I had opened my lips for him hoping he would take the invitation, but was extremely surprised he actually did. It was probably a habit every man had and meant nothing.

As soon as I had felt his lips I had known no other man could ever kiss me like he did, and unearth the kind of emotions he had awakened in me.

If I couldn’t have him, I didn’t want to have anybody.

“By the way, thanks.” I turned to him.

He looked at me puzzled. “What for?”

“Well, for the … performance, up there, you know,” I muttered. Had he already forgotten? I felt embarrassed to have brought it up. It obviously meant nothing to him.

“Oh, that. My pleasure.”

When he carried me into the little restaurant, we turned a few heads. If Vince was uncomfortable with it, he didn’t let on. I didn’t protest even though I was sure I could have walked with his support. But being carried gave me another opportunity to press my body against his.

“Welcome to Chouchou,” the maitre d’ chirped in a French accent and led us to one of the small tables.

Vince was right. I liked the food. During the entire meal he made small talk with me. He asked me about the movies I had seen, the music I liked and what places I had visited. He was full of questions about my life and I was happy to comply. I had no secrets. My life was quite ordinary.

I wanted to know more about him, but he didn’t give me a chance to ask him anything. Maybe he was one of these new men, who had read these advice books on how to act on a first date. Advice like don’t talk about yourself all the time or ask her about her interests came to mind.

I had to smile. He was trying to make me feel comfortable so I would enjoy being with him. Well, he really didn’t have to work quite that hard at it. Then it struck me: we weren’t on a date. He probably just took me out because he wanted to get out of the house for a while and would have felt guilty if he had left me there on my own.

“Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?” I asked him lightly.

“There’s really nothing much to tell. My life is not that exciting,” he claimed and smiled. He had finished his steak but not touched any of the side dishes.

“I doubt that very much,” I insisted. “Where did you go to medical school?”

“Boston.”

“And then?”

“I did my residency at San Francisco General and at UCSF. That’s about it,” he finished.

“Do you make it a habit of treating patients at your home?” Now it was out and I couldn’t take it back. What would he say? Would he be annoyed with me?

“You’re the first,” he admitted. “And the last.”

“That bad, huh?” Did he regret not having brought me to the hospital?

He broke out in laughter and I could see all the way to the back of his teeth. When he managed to finally contain himself, he spoke again.

“Sorry, that’s not what I meant.” He grinned.

“Well, what did you mean? If I’m a bother then you just have to tell me and I’ll leave right away.” I felt sad at the thought and dropped my head.

Suddenly his hand reached over the table. He lifted up my chin and had me look at him.

“I meant to say I can only take care of one patient; and as long as you’re there, I guess the spot it taken.”

I didn’t know what to answer. All I could think of was he had touched me again and looked into my eyes. He didn’t have to do that. The waiter interrupted us at that moment.

“Can I interest you in some dessert?”

“Vous-avez de tarte tatin?” I heard Vince ask him in what seemed to be flawless French. I had no idea what he had just said.

“Bien sur, Monsieur! Deux?”

“Seulement une pour Mademoiselle, s’il vous plaît,” I understood Mademoiselle. He was talking about me.

“Toute de suite,” the waiter responded again while he cleared our dinner plates.

“You speak French?”

“Just a little,” he claimed. I was sure it was an understatement. I didn’t get the feeling Vince ever did things just a little. “Enough to impress the ladies.” He winked at me and I knew he was joking trying to downplay his skill.

“Funny, very funny,” I responded dryly, but I couldn’t suppress my own smile for very long.

The waiter placed the dessert in front of me. It was an upside down apple tart. I could smell the caramel it was interlaced with. A scoop of vanilla ice cream had already started to melt on top of the cake.

“Bon appetit!” I knew what that meant.

“It’s the most authentic French dessert you will ever taste, better than chocolate mousse or crème brulée. Trust me.” Vince was very sure of himself.

As I took the first bite, I noticed the cake was warm. The apples were so soft they melted in my mouth. The caramel sauce and vanilla ice cream were the perfect complement to the apples. The crust was only wafer thin. He was right again. It was excellent.

“Why didn’t you order one for yourself? Do you want a bite? It’s really good.”

“No, no, I’m full,” he insisted while he watched me devouring the delicious dessert.

When the bill arrived, he paid cash and left a very good tip. This time the maitre d’ didn’t give us a strange look when Vince lifted me out of my chair and carried me to the door. He probably figured I was handicapped.

“Thank you and please come again.” He kissed my hand and waived us good bye as we went outside. I caught Vince giving him a strange look.

“Thank you,” I whispered to Vince. “It was lovely.”

“Thank you for the company.”

When he placed me back into the car, I suddenly felt the pain in my leg again. He noticed the change in my face and reacted immediately.

“The pain killers are wearing off. Are you sure you don’t want any more morphine? It works better than the other pain killers.”

I shook my head. “No, I’d rather not.”

“Okay. We’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” he promised.

I stared at him in disbelief. I knew we were in Forest Hill, I’d recognized Laguna Honda Hospital on the hill. By my calculations it would take us closer to thirty minutes to get back downtown.

I hadn’t quite counted on his driving. I was almost sure we would get stopped by the police the way he was weaving in and out of traffic, but I was wrong. The police were nowhere to be seen and we were back in the garage in the fifteen minutes he had promised me.

His driving didn’t scare me, but I was sure it wasn’t legal. I wondered how many speeding tickets he got in one week.

As soon as we were back in his place, he had me swallow two more pain killers. I sat on the couch again and he joined me, sitting at the other end of it, when I really wanted him much closer. But it wasn’t something I could ask for. Men hated clingy women.

“You must be tired.”

“Not yet,” I managed to say while I tried to suppress an involuntary yawn.

He grinned. “Right.”

There was no way I could fool him. I was tired, but I didn’t want to go to sleep yet.

“I’ll be right here on the couch if you need anything.” It was as if he could read my mind.

“No, I’ll sleep on the couch. I already took your bed last night,” I insisted.

“Nice try,” he smirked. “But you’ll take the bed, I’ll take the couch.”

There was no fighting with him over it. He carried me to the bathroom so I could get ready for bed. I changed into a long t-shirt I could sleep in.

When he carried me to bed, I wondered if he would kiss me again, but he didn’t make any attempt. He checked my vital signs. My heart was racing.

“I’m starting to wonder what makes your heart race like that.”

“As a doctor shouldn’t you know these things?” I teased him.

“Maybe, but I get the feeling it’s nothing medical …” He gave me a knowing look.

“Is this the doctor talking?” I continued teasing him.

“No, this is a man talking, so stop being cute and go to sleep.” He tried to be strict, but the twinkle in his eyes betrayed him. He got up.

“Good night. Sleep well.”

“Thank you. For everything,” I said.

The way he looked at me for a second told me he thought about the same thing I did: our kiss. But he made no attempt to kiss me again.

Vince went back to the couch and turned the TV so low I couldn’t hear it. I wondered if he could.

Soon I drifted off to sleep. I felt safe in his huge bed knowing he was watching over me.

When I woke I felt well rested, even though I could still feel some pain in my leg. I looked around and saw light streaming in from the skylight. It was morning.

As I sat up in bed I saw an unfamiliar item standing next to the bed. It had four metal legs, handles and wheels on two of the legs.

“Vince?” I called out and he appeared instantly. He looked like he had just stepped out of the shower. His hair was still damp. He was unfortunately already fully dressed.

I promised myself to wake up earlier the next day, so I might catch a glimpse of him again like the first morning.

“You’re awake,” he stated the obvious with a smile.

“Good morning.”

“Did you sleep alright?”

I nodded. “I did.” I paused. “Vince, what’s this?”

I pointed at the item which stood next to the bed.

“Ah, yes. That’s a Zimmer frame,” he confirmed my suspicions. “Believe me, it’s so much easier using this rather than crutches.”

It could only mean one thing.

“You don’t want to carry me anymore.” I was disappointed.

His look was regretful.

“Annette, it’s not that I don’t want to.” He stopped. It looked like he had a hard time explaining himself.

“Oh?”

“After what happened yesterday …” He stopped himself. “I went too far. I have to apologize. I think I should just try to keep my hands off you.”

“Nobody’s asking you to,” I assured him.

“Please hear me out. You really don’t know me.”

I wanted to protest, but didn’t get a chance.

“I want to give you a chance to get to know me first before I let myself go like that again. There is so much …” He broke off and started again. “You’re so young.”

I protested. “I’ll be twenty-six in October!” In three years, I added in my head.

He raised his eyebrow.

“As I said you’re so young and I’m older than you might think.”

So what if he was thirty-five?

“What I’m trying to say is, I’m having a hard time controlling my emotions around you, and carrying you in my arms doesn’t help.”

I looked at him, and my look must have been sad.

“I want you to know everything about me before, before … Annette, I know myself. Don’t you see? Didn’t you feel what happened last night was way beyond what I should have allowed myself to do? You’re in my care.”

I couldn’t see what was so terrible about that.

“Do you regret kissing me?”

He shook his head.

“No, how could I? But there are things you won’t like about me, bad things.”

“You make it sound so sinister.”

“Because it is.”

His eyes tried to burn through me.

“Well, I’m not afraid.”

I reached for the Zimmer frame to lift myself up. I was aware that my t-shirt had hitched up and was revealing my panties. I checked for his reaction. His eyes were filled with desire, and I guessed it wouldn’t take me too long until I would seduce him into kissing me again.

I got out of bed and started moving toward the bathroom.

“And don’t even think about trying to seduce me,” I heard him say behind me. Somehow his voice sounded a little unsure. “I can spot it a mile away.”

“Fine.” I challenged him without looking back.

8. Vince’s Temptation

She was feisty, I had to admit. She reminded me of myself at that age: ready for any challenge. Twenty-six? I didn’t think so. Generally women tried to make themselves younger, not older. She would have to do much better to come even close to my age.

But I wasn’t really worried about her age. I was worried about the pain I would cause her once she found out what I was, and the pain she would cause me when she left me.

I needed a strategy. The longer I could hold off having sex with her, the more I could show her and myself that there was still enough humanity left in me, the less likely it would be that I would involuntarily transform in front of her.

My transformation was triggered entirely by emotions. The stronger the emotion, the faster the transformation would be. So far my transformations had always come at times of fear, hate and the desire to save somebody’s life. Yesterday had shown me that passion was just as powerful a trigger, and I had come extraordinarily close to transforming. It had taken all my strength to suppress the transformation.

There was nothing I wanted to do more than throw her back into bed and make love to her until she begged me to stop. I balled my hands into fists to suppress the desire I felt.

Not only was I afraid she would run away once she saw me in my transformed state, but I was even more terrified that I would hurt her, even if it was accidental. I was so strong when I was in my animal form that what I thought would be a gentle touch could turn out to be a violent move slashing her skin open.

I hadn’t been with a woman since I had become what I was now. I didn’t know what I was capable of. Not even I could imagine how much danger she could be in.

I had no plan of how and when to tell her. I suspected the longer I held off touching her, the more she would come up with ways to seduce me. I had seen it in her eyes. She wanted me. Hadn’t I hoped for that? Hadn’t I fretted about it for the last two days, wondering if she would want me? And now that I had seen it in her eyes and felt it in her kiss, I was afraid of the consequences.

I hadn’t expected for this to happen so fast. I should have never given into the temptation to kiss her. There was no way back from there. Now I wanted more and so did she.

When she came out of the bathroom, now fully dressed, my eyes were undressing her already. I had to cut out those thoughts.

“Would you like some breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

She looked funny as she pushed the Zimmer frame toward the bar. The bar stools were too high for her to lift herself up without help.

“I can bring you your breakfast to the couch,” I offered hoping she wouldn’t see through me.

She did.

“No, I’d rather eat at the bar.” Of course, she did, because it meant she needed my help getting onto the bar stool.

“Would you?” She made a gesture indicating she wanted to be lifted up.

I complied and put my hands around her slim waist. It took me less than two seconds to lift her onto the bar stool and let go of her again.

Nice try.

I grinned when I saw her disappointed look.

“As I said, I can spot it a mile away.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she claimed.

I walked over to the opposite side of the bar.

“Would you like some orange juice?”

“Sure.”

I poured her a glass and set it in front of her.

“What would you like to eat?”

“I’m not that hungry.” She drank from the glass.

“You should eat something. You’ll need to take some more pain killers and I want you to have something in your stomach first.”

“Okay. Here’s the deal.”

What was she planning?

“I’ll eat one bite for every question you’ll answer.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Well, wasn’t it you earlier today who suggested I should get to know you better?”

She was right.

“Touché! Would you like yogurt, cereal, eggs or steak?”

She gave me a triumphant look. “I’ll have cereal mixed with yogurt.”

I mixed her concoction and placed the bowl in front of her. “One spoonful for every answer? No cheating.” I wanted her to confirm.

She nodded.

Instead of giving her a teaspoon I gave her one of my oversized tablespoons. She looked at it and gave me a sharp look. Two could play that game.

I could tell her mind was working overtime trying to pick the right questions which would reveal more about me. While she was busy figuring out her questions, I took a steak out of the fridge and slapped it onto the grill. I forced myself to leave it on there for longer than normal. I didn’t want her to notice how rare I really ate my meat.

I almost made a mistake when I reached to turn the steak over with my bare hands and stopped myself in mid movement. I needed to use the tongs in front of her. She watched.

“Do you only eat meat?” She asked.

I turned around and put the steak on my plate. “Pretty much.” That was an easy question.

She made no attempt to eat any of her yoghurt. “One answer, one spoonful,” I reminded her.

“Oh!” She exclaimed and I realized she hadn’t meant to ask this question. “I didn’t …”

I cut her off. “Nevertheless, I answered it, so if you please …” I pointed at her bowl. This would be more fun than I had expected.

She put a small amount of food onto the large spoon.

“That’s not a very full spoon,” I protested.

“It wasn’t a very long answer.”

“Well, if I may elaborate. I’m pretty much what you would call a carnivore. I used to eat vegetables and all the rest, but I’ve gone off it. I don’t have a sweet tooth either. Satisfied?”

She put a little more onto her spoon and ate it. I involuntarily smiled at her. She was cute when she pretended to be upset.

I put my plate next to hers on the counter, walked around the bar and sat down. I dug into my steak forcing myself to eat slowly. I was curious what she would ask next.

“When did you last kiss a woman? And I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek,” she qualified quickly. “And last night doesn’t count either,” she added hastily.

Interesting. She was honing in on my love life, or better, the lack thereof. I couldn’t very well say, thirty years ago, so I had to come up with something which was the truth, but not create any suspicion in her.

“In July of the year I turned 32,” I told her truthfully.

She looked like she was calculating how long ago it was, but without her knowing how old I really was, the calculation didn’t make any sense. She didn’t look like she wanted to waste another precious question on my age.

I pointed at her spoon and she ate her allotted portion.

“This is not a separate question, but could you please elaborate a little.” She gave me a pleading smile.

“What exactly would you like me to elaborate on?” I liked to tease her. I knew exactly what she wanted to know. She was shifting uncomfortably on her bar stool.

“I mean, things like whether you were in love with her,” she said as casually as she could.

Right again.

The woman had just been a casual fling, a blind date one of my colleagues had set me up with. Back then I had been so engrossed in my work I hadn’t had time to form a relationship. During my undergraduate years in college I had been dating a nice girl, but I hadn’t been ready to commit. Once I’d entered Medical School, I had split up with her because my career was more important to me. I hadn’t had a meaningful relationship after that. Flings, yes. One night stands, yes. But no emotional connection with anybody. I had always assumed that once I had established myself in my career I would find the right woman and everything would fall into place. That dream had died with the realization that my transformation would be a constant barrier to forming a true relationship with a woman. Instead, loneliness had become my constant companion during the last thirty years.

“Does it matter?” I was done teasing her. “It’s ancient history. And if it’s any consolation, you’re the only woman who’s ever set foot in my place.” I wanted her to know she was special.

She stared at me, obviously trying to figure out if I was telling the truth.

“The only one?” her voice was just an echo.

I nodded sincerely. “And I’d like to keep it that way.”

I anticipated her next question and answered it before she could ask it. “And I’ve lived here for a long time.”

A very long time.

Her smile was genuine and all the pouting from earlier was suddenly wiped off her face. It was going to be very difficult to keep my hands and my lips off her, I realized. It was only morning and I frankly didn’t know how to make it through the entire day without touching her.

“What is your research about?” She suddenly asked. I hadn’t expected this question. How did she know I was doing research? I had only told her I was a doctor.

“How do you know I’m doing research?” I asked cautiously.

“Well, you have a lab downstairs. Isn’t that where people do research?”

“Oh, the lab, or course.” I figured there was no danger in telling her what research I was doing. I didn’t have to go into the details.

“I’ve been working on finding a switch to turn off the gene which makes people age,” I summarized my thirty-plus years of research.

“Wow.” She seemed genuinely impressed. “You mean, if you found it, we could all stay young forever? Like immortal?”

“Young yes, immortal no. You could still die from diseases or accidents, but your cells wouldn’t age, so you’d look as young as now even if you’re in your sixties.”

Like I.

“And many of the diseases people normally get wouldn’t have the kind of effect on your cells. The younger they are, the easier it would be for them to fight off certain age-related diseases. Of course, other things would still be the same, like cancer or heart disease. But overall, people would live longer and healthier lives.”

She looked at me fascinated.

“Shouldn’t you be eating two spoonfuls for this information?” I smirked.

She did.

“And how far are you with it?”

In a way I was glad I could explain it to her now. It would make it easier on her later when she would find out I had experimented on myself and turned the switch off. It would be one less thing I would have to explain once she started to panic.

“Well, I’ve isolated the gene which controls aging, and I’m trying out different switches.”

“Who are you trying them out on?”

“Mice mostly. They have lots in common with humans, believe it or not.”

I hadn’t spoken to anybody about my work in decades and it felt good to articulate what I was doing even if I couldn’t tell her the whole truth. Not yet, anyway.

“Which reminds me, I have to check on them.” I got off the bar stool and took both our plates to the sink.

“Can I see them?” She surprised me.

“You want to see the mice?”

“Sure. May I?”

I had to lift her off the bar stool and wasn’t quite as fast as earlier when I had lifted her up. She didn’t take advantage, and I enjoyed the few stolen seconds, before she gripped the Zimmer frame.

When we got to the stairs, I looked at her and joked. “Ok. I’m going to carry you down, but don’t try anything funny.”

“No, doc.” She grinned, but kept her word.

Maybe this would work after all. She seemed to have switched out of her seduction mode and decided to be good. At least now I would only have to fight myself and not her too.

While she was in my arms I allowed myself to take in her scent. I had to try to get used to her if I ever wanted to do more than just carry her.

I sat her onto my office chair and pushed her into the mouse room. The lights were already on. I watched her closely as she looked at the wall of cages, and was ready to whisk her out if she freaked at anything.

I scanned the cages quickly. One of the mice was running around erratically, bashing its head into the plastic wall of the cage over and over again. Annette saw it too and threw me a questioning look.

“Side effects. Unfortunately, there are still many problems.” I took some gloves from the bench and walked over to the cage. Before I took the mouse out, I turned back to Annette.

“I’ll have to euthanize it. I don’t think you should watch.”

I carried the struggling mouse to the bench and put it into a holding cage, while I fixed a syringe. I could feel Annette’s eyes on me.

“It won’t feel anything, I promise you.”

I took the mouse and injected it. Within seconds it stopped moving. I sealed the body in a bag and put it into the refrigerator.

“What happened?”

“It’s trial and error. I test hundreds of combinations of compounds to find the one which can eliminate the side effects. This one wasn’t it.”

“What are the side effects?”

“Do you really want to know?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her.

“Yes.”

“A heightening of all senses amongst other things.” I kept is as non-descriptive as possible. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth either.

“But is that necessarily a bad thing?” I was surprised at how much she seemed to understand.

“All senses: good or bad.”

“But senses aren’t good or bad, they are just senses,” she argued. I looked at her with surprise. She was smart.

“Maybe I didn’t explain it right. It’s not the senses themselves, it’s what the mouse does with them. A survival instinct could turn into unbridled aggression, like you’ve seen with this mouse. If it goes uncontrolled, the mouse is a danger to itself and others.”

She looked back at me and I could see she understood. While I stripped off my gloves and washed my hands thoroughly, I ventured a guess.

“You’ve worked with animals before, haven’t you?”

“I worked at the zoo in Des Moines.”

“You must hate what I do here then, experimenting on defenseless animals?” I inquired softly.

“No. I know it’s necessary for medicine to advance.” I was surprised by her levelheaded answer, especially coming from an animal lover.

“Yes, it’s important to test and test again before starting human trials,” I reflected knowing all too well I had broken this rule before because I had been impatient and arrogant. I tried to put the thought out of my head.

“I need to write up some of the data quickly. Do you want me to bring you upstairs in the meantime?”

“No, I’ll stay down here with you.” She paused. “If you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not.”

I pushed her chair into the other room and placed her next to the computer while grabbing a stool for myself. As I sat down in front of my computer and switched on the program I needed I saw her eyes wander around the room.

I was surprised she didn’t find it strange or even creepy to sit in a windowless lab surrounded by unfamiliar instruments accompanied by a stranger. My fingers flew over the keyboard recording observations about the mouse I had just euthanized. I chalked it up to another failure, one of so many.

What I had told Annette wasn’t entirely the truth. I had found the switch to turn off the gene which controlled aging over thirty years ago. I had not anticipated the side effects it would have. Once I had realized it to my horror, the change had already taken place in my body, and there was no stopping it.

Ever since then I had tried to find a compound to reverse it, without effect. The last dead mouse was just another confirmation that I hadn’t gotten any further. However, my research over the last thirty years had produced some results, one of which was the serum I had developed to remove any foreign compounds from the body as long as they had not merged with the cell’s building blocks.

It was a first step, and I hoped it would eventually provide me with the antidote I was looking for.

“Vince.” Annette’s voice pierced through my thoughts.

I turned to her. “Yes?”

“Is your last name Mesaros?”

It was a strange question. “Yes. Didn’t I tell you that earlier?”

“Vincent Mesaros MD? School of Medicine, Boston University?”

I followed her stare, and looked straight at my diploma on the wall.

Oh, no!

Panic shot through my body.

“1971?” She gasped and stared at me.

Say something! Do something!

I wasn’t ready to tell her. I couldn’t. She wasn’t ready to hear it, not yet. What would she do? She would be disgusted when she realized I was old enough to be her father.

That’s it!

“Oh, that? That’s my father’s diploma.” I searched her face to see whether she would buy it. “I was named after him,” I lied.

“Oh. So you followed in his footsteps?” It seemed I was a better liar than I thought.

“You must think I’m really nosy,” she suddenly said apologetically.

“I don’t think that at all.”

You’re just getting a little too perceptive.

“You’re probably bored sitting around here.”

“No, I like watching you,” she admitted, but suddenly blushed when I locked eyes with her. I smiled. I wanted to kiss her, but instead touched her cheek with my hand. Her skin was warm.

“I thought you didn’t want to touch me,” she said sheepishly.

I sighed. “I’m just a man.” I pulled her chair closer to me before I even knew what I was doing. “I’m not always as strong as I should be.”

“Why resist at all?” Her voice was so soft, so tempting.

“Because it’s better for you.”

I could feel her leaning toward me. “Shouldn’t I know what’s better for me?” I heard her say.

“I should think so.” I smiled. “But it looks like you don’t.” My lips were only an inch away from hers. “Have you ever thought about the fact that I’m a stranger, and you’re alone with me in my house?”

“I think of it all the time,” she whispered seductively.

“Practically incapacitated?” I continued warning her.

“I can move enough for what I want to do.” I knew exactly what she meant.

“Without a means of escape?” The thought heightened my excitement.

“Who wants to escape?” Her voice was only a whisper.

“I could be a serial killer.”

“Of mice maybe,” she chuckled.

“Are you making fun of me?” I wasn’t angry.

“I would never, because you could be a serial killer, you know,” she mocked barely suppressing a laugh.

She had to be silenced, and fast. As soon as my lips brushed hers she stopped laughing. I wasn’t as gentle as the night before, but she didn’t seem to mind. Instead she threw her arms around my neck and pressed me close to her as if she didn’t want me to let go of her. Her lips were soft and sweet. She parted them almost instantly to allow me to explore her and taste her. She wanted me to kiss her more passionately. I could feel how she urged me by pressing her body closer to mine. Did she know what she was doing? What woman would make herself so vulnerable in the house of a stranger letting him feel her body the way she did? I pulled away from her lips for just a split-second to look at her, but she immediately came after me and pressed her lips onto mine. It felt like she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

I didn’t understand why she kissed me the way she did. Was she not afraid of me? I had to warn her about me, but I couldn’t tear myself away from her. I felt like a drunk who had tried to abstain for too long. Could she press her body any closer to mine or was it I who pressed hers against mine? I couldn’t tell. Was I the one demanding her passionate response or was she volunteering it? Did it matter? She wasn’t pulling away from me. There wasn’t an ounce of resistance in her, not a gram of hesitancy.

What was I thinking when I thought I could try to deny myself the sweet taste of her lips? I could handle this. I could learn to handle this, I told myself as I hung onto her lips.

The blaring noise of an alarm interrupted us. I jumped up. Annette gave me a frightened look.

“Sorry, it’s just one of my experiments. I need to check on it.”

Saved by the bell, I thought to myself as I strode to the bench at the other end of the room. I switched off the alarm and looked at the tissue sample I had prepared during the night.

My lips felt oddly raw and hot. I wondered how bad hers must feel after the way I had crushed them. I had let myself give into my desire. Obviously my strategy of keeping away from her and not touching her didn’t work.

As a scientist I knew if one method didn’t yield the desired result, another method had to be tried, until one could be found which would work.

I remembered what I had thought earlier when I was kissing her. I had thought I could learn to handle it. What if I could? What if I could keep my emotions under control and suppress the transformation?

It’s not the senses themselves, it’s what the mouse does with them. Those were my own words. Maybe there was more truth in them than I believed. In the last thirty years I had learned how to control myself in most situations and only transformed when the situation warranted it. Somehow my body knew when danger was real. So, what if I could tell my body that passion didn’t warrant a transformation?

Could I switch off the trigger, like I had switched off my aging gene? And if I could, would it mean she would never have to find out?

“I didn’t think you’d cave in that quickly,” she interrupted my thoughts.

Without turning away from the microscope I answered her. “Who says I caved in?”

I could feel how she held her breath.

“Maybe I was planning this all along?” I continued, but it was time to turn around to see her expression. I could tell she didn’t know whether I was joking or not since my voice had sounded serious.

Once she got a glimpse of my face though, she shot back. “No. I could tell by your kiss. You just caved.”

“What about my kiss?”

“It was too, too …” She was looking for the right word. “It had too much pent up hunger to be planned.”

I was surprised at her analysis. I myself had compared it to being drunk, but hunger was a good analogy too. “You didn’t exactly hold back either.”

“Oh, would you prefer me to play shy?”

With a couple of strides I was at her chair and pulled her up without letting her feet touch the ground. I looked into her eyes.

“I don’t want you to play anything. I want you the way you are.” I was serious.

“Vince?”

“Hmh?”

What is it, my angel?

“What’s going to happen when my leg is better?”

I wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at. “You won’t need any pain killers anymore, I guess, and you’ll walk on your own. Why?”

“I mean, will you still want me here?”

“Maybe not in the lab,” I joked. “But perhaps upstairs.”

She blushed and didn’t know what to say. Had she understood my sexual innuendo?

“Of course, I still want you here,” I whispered to her. “I don’t want to let you go, can’t you feel that?” I could feel her arms wrapping themselves around my neck as she put her head next to mine, cheek to cheek.

“I don’t want to leave.”

No, you don’t right now. But there’ll come a time when you will.

I didn’t want this time to ever come.

9. Annette’s Secrets

Vince’s work in the lab was soon done and he suggested spending the afternoon in Golden Gate Park. Thinking of my leg, I wasn’t quite sure how it would work.

“You’re not expecting me to walk around in that.” I pointed at the Zimmer frame.

He laughed. “Of course not - I’ll get you a wheelchair.”

“I’m going to look like an invalid!” I protested. I didn’t know what was worse, a wheelchair or a Zimmer frame.

“Nothing wrong with that.” He grinned. “Make yourself comfortable and I’ll go borrow a wheelchair.”

“On a Sunday?”

“Hospitals are open every day of the week. I’ll be back in less than an hour.”

He rushed downstairs before I could protest. I didn’t want to sit in a wheelchair. However, the idea of spending an afternoon in the park was quite appealing. I could see through the skylight that it was sunny outside and days like these had to be taken advantage of.

I could tell he made every effort to make me feel comfortable. When I had gotten up in the morning, I had noticed he had unpacked my suitcases and made some space in his closet for me, where he had neatly hung my clothes.

He had also made some space on the bathroom counter for me where he had placed all toiletries he had found in my suitcase. Vince had also laid out fresh towels for me. I had been surprised at how thoughtful he was.

Most men his age or younger could only think of themselves and showed others no consideration. It had always been a contentious point between me and any of the guys I had been dating.

Most of them had been under thirty and completely self-absorbed. It had never lasted very long. I had been dumped just as often as I had dumped guys, but it most cases it had always been just a matter of time. If they hadn’t dumped me, I was sure I would have dumped them in short order.

My aunt had always thought my morals were too loose, because I had gone from one guy to the next, but I didn’t see it this way. Why stay with somebody, when you realized after a few weeks that he was a jerk?

My aunt hadn’t understood it and had been glad when I had decided to leave Des Moines. She had given me the obligatory please stay speech, but I could tell it had been half-hearted.

I was pretty sure she was glad I was gone. Since I liked to see her shocked face when she would see me standing at the door again, I hadn’t bothered informing her of my planned return. Now I was glad I hadn’t. It saved me from having to call her and explain to her I was staying in San Francisco after all.

It was better she didn’t know what was going on. She would be just shocked if she heard I had woken up in a stranger’s bed, injured and practically incapacitated, and without the slightest intention of wanting to leave.

I suddenly remembered what Vince had answered me when I had asked him when he had last kissed a woman. His answer had been a little cryptic. I figured he had wanted to disguise the fact that it had been a while. It was May, and he had said it was in July of the year he had turned thirty-two.

I calculated. If he was thirty-three now, then it had been almost a year. It didn’t look like he dated much. Was that why he seemed so reluctant about getting physical with me? Would he be shocked if he found out how many guys I had dated? Maybe it was best I kept that little fact to myself. There wasn’t much of a chance of him finding out anyway, so why tell?

I remembered he had seen Ben. Ben hadn’t exactly been one of my brightest choices, and I had felt almost relieved when he had stopped calling. It saved me from dumping him. That he had started seeing Carmela behind my back had completely escaped me, and despite the fact that I didn’t care about him, I had been a little miffed about their secrecy.

I put my thoughts away when I heard Vince return. He packed me into the car and drove us to Golden Gate Park, parking on one of the side streets north of the park.

I waited while he took out the collapsible wheelchair from the trunk. Being able to borrow a wheelchair from the hospital was probably one of the perks of being a doctor.

“Your chariot awaits, Madam,” Vince announced as he helped me from the car into the wheelchair.

Golden Gate Park stretched from the ocean to Haight Ashbury and occupied more than a thousand acres of land. It housed many attractions like the Conservatory of Flowers, the Buffalo Paddock, Botanical Gardens, Polo Fields and lots more. It was the City’s residents’ first and foremost garden, a place where everybody came to on the weekends.

The park was packed as usual on a sunny day. On Sundays some of the streets leading through the park were closed to traffic, so people could freely walk, run, bike and roller skate without having to watch out for cars.

Vince pushed my wheelchair, passing by the new De Young Museum and around the concourse, before he headed toward one of the many meadows where people would lie on the grass and read, sun themselves or just relax.

Vince told me about the earthquake which had damaged the old De Young Museum several years ago, and how long it had taken to finally start rebuilding.

We stopped at a small meadow which was still relatively empty.

“Would you like to stay here for a little while?”

I nodded. He took a blanket which had been stuffed into the back pocket of my wheelchair and laid it out toward one side of the meadow. He came back to lift me into his arms and carry me to the spot he had selected for us.

I used the opportunity to look into his eyes. He lowered us onto the blanket and stayed close to my side. I was pleased he didn’t want to immediately put some space between us.

I rested my head on his arm, as he turned his body toward me.

“I could get used to this,” I said.

“You mean the wheelchair?” he teased me.

“You know I don’t mean the wheelchair.”

I ran my hand through his hair. He didn’t stop me.

“This is a family place,” he warned me with a smile. “So you’d better not be planning anything else.”

He pulled my hand out of his hair and put it toward his lips, kissing my palm.

“This is a family place,” I repeated.

“Don’t worry, this is PG-13,” he claimed between kisses to my hand. “Annette, may I ask you something?”

“Sure.” I was wondering what was on his mind.

“When you woke up in my bed that first morning, why were you not scared?”

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer him, because I didn’t know myself.

“I wish I could say, but when I looked at you, I had no reason to be scared. You weren’t there to hurt me.”

“But you didn’t know that then.”

“I guess I must have had a gut feeling.” I shrugged my shoulders. I suddenly had an awful thought. “I hope you don’t think I’m making it a habit to wake up in strangers’ beds.”

“Well, now that you’re pointing it out …”

He didn’t get any further. I started pounding my hands into his chest, but he just laughed until he finally clutched my wrists without any effort and held them tight.

“Cute,” he said and kissed my fists quickly. “Peace?” He released my wrists and then wrapped his arms around me. “Am I forgiven?”

“Only if you kiss me.” I decided to take advantage of the situation.

“As I said, this is a family place, and the way you kiss is rated R if not X-rated.”

“You’re exaggerating. It’s barely PG-13, and it’s not even called X-rated. They call it NC-17. How long have you not been to a movie?”

“Anyway, don’t change the subject. You don’t kiss PG-13. I guess, I’m going to have to take you to a few movies to show you the difference, unless they rate things differently in Des Moines,” he added jokingly.

He lowered himself back into the grass keeping me in his arms. He obviously had decided it was safe to touch me, but not safe enough to kiss me. For now, it was good enough. I leaned my head against his chest and soaked in his smell.

There was something primal about him. Maybe he emitted a lot more of those pheromones I had read about in a trashy magazine. They were supposed to attract women. I wondered what had attracted him to me. Did women emit pheromones too?

“Vince.”

“Hm?” His eyes were closed.

“Why did you not bring me to a hospital?”

I could tell how he suddenly held his breath. He seemed to think long and hard about his answer. He opened his eyes and turned to look at my face, before he answered.

“I don’t know, Annette. It was a split-second decision. I knew I had all the medical training and all the medications at home to take care of you.” He stopped. “But I don’t know what made me take you home. I just couldn’t bring myself to drop you off at the hospital. I know it was wrong.” He looked apologetic.

“Do you regret it?”

“I can’t regret something that brought so much joy into my life.”

I smiled at him. He changed the subject, and I guessed it was because he felt just like I did that we wanted to kiss.

He sat up and looked up into the trees which surrounded the meadow.

“Have you ever listened to the sounds of the park?” he asked.

“What sounds?” I sat up next to him.

“The sound of the animals and plants.”

“Plants? You’re joking again.”

“No, I’m not. Plants make sounds too. Not by themselves, of course, but when the wind hits them. You can hear the crackling of the trees when the wind blows through them.”

“Oh, that. I’ve never really listened to it, though. I don’t like to be outside when the weather is bad,” I explained.

“Can you hear the birds up there?” He pointed toward the top of the tree.

I looked up but couldn’t see anything, so I just turned my ear toward the tree, but looked straight ahead instead, while he looked up at the tree as if he could see the tiny birds.

I looked at a couple pushing a stroller with a small child in front of them. The woman looked oddly out of place being completely dolled up. She wore high heels and a far too elegant dress for a stroll in the park. Her makeup was obvious even from the distance. It was beyond me why some women had to cake their faces with makeup. She seemed to be in her thirties and I wondered whether she needed all that makeup. My eyes went to her companion and I froze – I immediately recognized the man with the grey hair. He was the researcher whose clinical trial I had participated in.

“Can you hear them?” Vince asked again.

“Now I can,” I lied without looking away from the man. Suddenly his head turned and he looked in my direction. I looked away immediately, and when I glanced back a few seconds later I saw how he shuffled his wife and child into a different direction, away from the meadow.

Vince hadn’t seen him since he was still looking up into the trees. I wondered for a second whether I should tell Vince who I had seen, but was worried he would run after him and make a scene, so I decided to keep the information to myself. Nothing good would come out of it anyway.

“Your hearing is pretty good,” he said and looked at me.

“So is yours,” I deflected trying not to let him know that something was wrong.

He looked past me. “Oh, damn!”

Had he seen Dr. Entwhistle too?

“The fog is rolling in. I think it’s time to leave.” I was relieved when he pointed toward the end of the meadow. It was quite eerie to see the fog enter. It reminded me of a horror movie.

I could feel immediately how it had already gotten colder. Vince picked me up and carried me back to the wheelchair, then placed the blanket over my legs when he saw I shivered.

“We’ll be back in the car in a few minutes.” As always he only thought of my wellbeing. He pushed the wheelchair as fast as the uneven path allowed. I marveled at his strength. Pushing me in the wheelchair couldn’t be easy, but he didn’t even break out in a sweat.

As soon as we were back in the car, he turned up the heating and I felt how my back instantly became warm. The heating was in the seats. I had never felt that kind of luxury in my life.

I barely looked at the street, knowing he would weave in and out of traffic as before. We were back at the house in no time.

“Are you hungry?” he asked after he had carried me to the couch.

“Not yet.”

He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. Maybe now he would kiss me?

“This has been the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.” He admitted.

“It’s a shame it’s over already. I guess you have to go back to work tomorrow morning.”

“Actually, no.”

I was surprised. “Really? How come?”

“I’m on sabbatical.” He smiled. I moved closer to him. I was happy I would be able to spend more time with him.

“I’ll have a few things to take care of, of course, but we’ll have plenty of time.”

“Time to …?” I wondered what he wanted to do.

“Time to get to know each other. And tomorrow I want you to start walking a little, otherwise atrophy will set in and it’ll be much harder on you later.”

“Whatever you say, doc.”

“I should also check on your wound, see how it’s healing.”

“Okay. Can you help me take my pants off?”

He laughed. “Which man wouldn’t?”

He fetched fresh gauze and bandages from downstairs. I could feel he was careful not to touch any sensitive places when he helped me with my pants.

“Tempting at all?” I teased him.

“Very.”

He took off the old bandages and examined my wound. It looked much better, even though it now looked almost purple.

“It looks good.” He wrapped it again with fresh bandages, then examined the other leg where I had received the injection. It immediately reminded me of Dr. Entwhistle in the park, but I pushed the thought away from me.

The wound looked like it was healing fast and Vince re-bandaged it with fresh supplies.

“All done. Let me help you put your pants back on.”

“I’m quite comfortable without them.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But I’m not. Humor me, will you?”

I gave him a resigned look and let him help me put my clothes back on.

“Thank you,” he said and kissed me on the cheek.

10. Vince’s Hope

It was ironic. The more I held back the more she wanted me. I didn’t do it intentionally. I had to hold back because I needed to learn to control myself first. Had somebody else been watching my moves they would have thought I was doing this to reel her in. Far from it. I wasn’t playing hard to get. I wasn’t interested in any games.

I was trying to hold her off so she could gain perspective and get to know me better, even though I still had no idea how I could ever tell her about my secret. It seemed she became more and more comfortable with me.

Nothing seemed to scare her or strike her as particularly odd, yet I knew she was smart. Her observations about my research had shown me she had an analytical mind.

Overall the day had gone better than I had expected. When I had held her in the meadow, I could feel my emotions ebbing and flowing, but I hadn’t gotten out of control. It had been tempting to give into her when she wanted me to kiss her, but I wasn’t ready to risk it, especially not in such a public place.

I had meant it when I had told her that her kisses were X-rated. Back in the seventies it had been called X-rated. I had heard the term NC-17, but it wasn’t really part of my lingo. I had slipped up, but in any case, I couldn’t recall ever having kissed a woman who had responded to me with such passion and made me want only one thing.

As I kissed her cheek I wanted to lower my mouth to her neck and kiss her more, but I pulled myself away before she had any inkling of my intention. We were alone again and the temptation would be big enough. I had to get through the night without … I couldn’t finish the thought.

I reached for the remote and switched on the TV. Annette cuddled up to me and I was happy to hold her close to me even though I made sure not to accidentally brush against her breasts with my hands, breasts which I was much too aware of, even though they were hidden under her sweater.

“Okay, we have a choice of classic movies, the news, documentaries, sports … I have about three hundred channels. Any preference?” I needed to make conversation, but she didn’t seem to care what we watched.

“It doesn’t matter.” I was right, all she wanted was being close to me.

I flicked through the channels avoiding all romantic comedies instantly. That was all I needed: a chick flick which would put her in the mood to launch another seductive attack on me. I didn’t want to make it too difficult on either of us, so I settled on a movie review.

Minutes later I noticed her even breathing patterns and knew she had fallen asleep. Tenderly I lifted her into my lap wondering whether I should put her into bed, but figured she would only nap for a short while. It had been an exhausting day for her, I was sure.

Her leg was healing well and I was pleased, but she still needed her rest. She looked so small in my arms and she was light like a feather. I enjoyed cradling her and couldn’t help but notice the relaxing effect her sleeping body had on me. I kept her on my lap and enjoyed feeling the gentle movement of her body as she inhaled and exhaled. I gently stroked her arm and kept watching her breasts as they moved up and down with every breath.

I wondered what it would be like to touch them, to hold them in my hands and to gently squeeze them, but I didn’t dare act on this thought.

She woke up less than an hour later. She looked pleased when she noticed she was in my lap.

“Feeling better?”

“I was so tired.”

“I should have let you sleep earlier. Our little excursion must have exhausted you.”

“I enjoyed it though.”

“Shall I make us dinner?” I offered.

“I could eat a horse,” she bragged.

I moved her off my lap and got up to go to the kitchen.

“I don’t think I have horse on the menu for tonight. How about a cow?” I opened the fridge and saw the Chinese take out I had brought for her and remembered. “Sorry, forgot, you’re vegetarian, aren’t you?”

“Well, not a hundred percent.”

“So, in fact, you’re not vegetarian at all,” I concluded grinning.

“Only occasionally,” she said sheepishly.

I shook my head. How were men ever going to understand women when they had to figure out their implausible logic?

“There is no such thing as an occasional vegetarian. Steak then for tonight?”

She gave no objections.

“Or would you rather go out to eat?”

“No, let’s eat here. It’s cozier. Vince, tell me, what do people do on sabbaticals?”

I was a little surprised at her question.

“That depends really why they’re taking a sabbatical. Most academics will do some research which involves foreign travel, or they’ll study a different field they are interested in. Everybody’s sabbatical is a little different.”

“Why are you taking one?”

I wanted to answer the question truthfully, but had a few hurdles to overcome. First of all, I wasn’t on a sabbatical, not in the true sense of the word. I had quit UCSF when I had realized how I had changed and I therefore had no job to return to.

And secondly, I wasn’t on a sabbatical, because I had never stopped working on my research. Would this matter to her? I tried to remain ambivalent.

“I guess I was at a stage in my professional life, where I needed to be sure what direction to go in. When you continue to stay where you are, you just don’t see the options you might have to change your direction. Do you know what I mean?” I looked at her trying to see if she was happy with this explanation.

Her answer surprised me. “Yes, I know what you mean. That’s why I came to San Francisco. I wanted to see what my options were.”

“Did you not enjoy your job at the zoo?” I was curious.

“Oh, I did. I loved working with the big cats. Every day at the feeding I would watch them and think to myself, whether ....”

I interrupted her. “Big cats?” Did I hear right?

“Yes, I was working with the mountain lions.”

I stared at her. This tiny girl had worked with mountain lions? Was she not afraid?

“But, you are so …”

“Small?” She filled in.

“I was going to say, vulnerable, but small works too. Weren’t you afraid of them?” She intrigued me.

“They can tell when you’re afraid. But they never scared me. Whenever I looked into their beautiful eyes, I got the feeling they wanted to communicate,” she paused, and added quickly “Of course, I know that’s not possible.”

I suddenly looked at her in a different light. When she had stared into my eyes while I had held her attacker back, she had seen the familiar eyes of a mountain lion. Was that why she hadn’t been afraid?

Was this even possible?  Could I have met the only person who did not fear my animal form?

“Annette, do you think you could be what is commonly called an animal whisperer?”

“You mean like the movie the horse whisperer?” She gave me a doubtful look. “I don’t think so. I don’t actually hear their voices. I’m not that crazy.” She rolled her eyes.

“You don’t actually have to hear their voices. Maybe they understand you.”

“You’re just pulling my leg.”

I could tell she wasn’t comfortable with the subject.

“So, why did you leave when you liked your job?” I distracted her.

“I didn’t like living with my aunt,” she started.

“Hold on, didn’t you tell me you had nobody I could contact for you?”

“Oh, that.” She gave me an apologetic look. “I don’t think my aunt would even want to know. It’s not like she’s going to approve of this situation.”

“You didn’t even give it a thought when you didn’t know yet what the situation was. Shouldn’t you at least call her now and let her know you’re not on that Greyhound bus home?”

“She doesn’t even know I was supposed to be on that bus, so there’s really no point in calling her.”

She was full of excuses. My guess was she really didn’t have much of a relationship with her aunt at all.

“Where are your parents?” I wanted to know, even though I could guess the answer.

“They died in a car accident five years ago. My aunt had to take me in, and you must know already what kind of a pain I am to live with,” she joked.

If she wanted to make a joke out of it, I would help her with it. “You’re only a pain, because you’re constantly trying to seduce me, and I guess you didn’t do that with your aunt,” I laughed.

“Trust me, she’s not as handsome as you are.” She grinned broadly.

The atmosphere was back to the friendly banter from earlier. I enjoyed joking with her. She had an easy sense of humor and didn’t take herself too seriously.

I served her steak medium and mine rare. Instead of eating at the bar, I decided it would be more comfortable on the couch. I had also made some tomato salad for her to go with her steak.

She had a healthy appetite and I was happy to see that she seemed to feel better and better. I had cut her dosage of pain killers in half and she didn’t complain about the pain. It was a good sign. She was young and would heal fast.

I cleared our plates and got back to the couch to sit with her. She gave me a look which could only mean one thing. I stretched my arms out and pulled her into my lap. I had guessed right.

“Annette, no matter what you’re going to try, I’m not going to make love to you tonight.” I felt strange saying this to her, but I felt it had to be said. I didn’t want to raise false hopes and disappoint her unnecessarily.

“I wasn’t trying anything.”

I raised an eyebrow. “But there’s one thing I would like to do.”

I had her full attention.

“I would like to kiss you again, that is, if you allow me to.” I hoped the more physical contact I had with her, where I could stop when things got too hot, the more I would get immune to it, and train myself not to transform.

I called it my own personal desensitization which was a well-known therapy in the field of allergy. It involved getting a little bit of allergen over a longer period of time thus reducing sensitivity to the allergen. I hoped it would work the same way with Annette. She was my allergen. I needed small doses of it.

Her eyes lit up. “You know you don’t have to ask.”

“I just wanted to give you a little advance warning. Please don’t be upset if I stop suddenly, but I don’t know how much I can take at a time, and I really want to take this slow.”

When I lowered my lips onto hers, I was as gentle as possible, resisting the urge to use my tongue. She returned the favor. I let my lips nibble on hers and she did the same. Whenever I felt like I wanted more, I slowed down and started again with just a tender touch. Every time I did that, I could feel her sigh a little, but she stayed with it and followed my lead.

When I finally let my tongue slide over her lips, I could feel how she started breathing harder, and her breasts suddenly felt closer to my chest than before. I could feel her lips part automatically under my touch and had no willpower to resist letting my tongue slip inside her mouth.

She had been expecting me and was there to play with my tongue not giving me a chance to withdraw. It was as if she held me captive, even though I knew I was physically so much stronger than she was. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t pull back. She knew it too.

I suddenly felt how she took one of my hands and guided it underneath her sweater. I knew what she was doing. I knew where she was taking me. It wasn’t fair on her part, but I couldn’t say anything. My mouth was too busy kissing her to find time to protest.

When my hand reached her naked breast, touching it sent an electric shock through me. I pulled my lips away from hers and looked into her eyes.

“You shouldn’t let me do this,” I warned her.

She held my hand in place when she felt that I wanted to pull it back.

“Please, Vince, touch me,” she begged me.

What was I to do? How could I say no when my body wanted to say yes? I sank my lips onto hers again and started caressing her breasts. They were a perfect size for my hands, round and soft, as if they were meant for me. I could tell she enjoyed being touched, and I knew myself to be the luckiest guy in the world that she wanted me to touch her.

I pulled my lips off hers unable to resist the urge which had overcome me. She looked at me disappointed when I pulled away, but seconds later her lips curled into a smile when I pulled her sweater up and exposed her naked breasts. I gazed at them trying to burn the image into my memory. I had to taste those beautiful breasts with my mouth.

When I asked her my silent question she pulled the sweater over her head without hesitation and let it fall to the ground. She lay in my arms naked from the waist up.

I lowered my head to her chest and wrapped my lips around her nipple. With my tongue I stroked her gently before I launched my passionate assault on her. I played with her nipples, licking them gently and sucking them. They turned hard showing me instantly how excited she was. As if that hadn’t been enough, the sounds of pleasure escaping her mouth only confirmed I wasn’t doing anything she didn’t want me to do. I lost myself kissing her soft skin, sucking on her excited nipples and molding her breasts in my hands.

I saw how her eyes were half closed and how she arched her back thrusting her breasts toward me, begging me for more. I was only too happy to oblige. My tongue worked its way around her nipple licking it like the most delicious ice cream ever. My hands couldn’t get enough of kneading her.

“More,” she demanded breathlessly.

I sucked harder and felt how hard her nipples became. Her body was aroused. The aroma of her sex drifted into my nose and drove me half insane. While I continued kissing her breasts, I let one hand slide down to her jeans and rested it between her legs. Her body pressed against my hand welcoming its touch. Even through her jeans I could feel the heat and the moisture emanating from her. I knew she was wet, ready for me to take her. The thought of her willing body was too much.

I couldn’t take any more than this. I felt a sensory overload and knew my transformation was close. I had to pull myself away, as hard as it was. I looked into her eyes. She looked back at me.

“You are amazing,” she whispered. I wanted to pull my hand away from her jeans, but she placed her hand onto it, holding it down. I knew what she wanted to tell me. If I wanted to take her now, she wouldn’t protest. I felt the struggle inside of me.

“I think I’m going to have to take a cold shower now,” I echoed back in a raspy voice.

“May I join you?” She couldn’t possibly be serious.

“That would defeat the purpose.” I gave her a soft smile.

The cold shower did indeed help. I felt refreshed and knew I had passed the first hurdle. I was able to kiss her and touch her breasts, in very small doses, without running the danger of transforming in front of her eyes.

I hoped I was doing the right thing. I knew it was wrong not to tell her my secret, but as long as I couldn’t figure out a way to tell her without risking losing her, I was willing to continue my lie, as horrible as it made me feel.

I had to clear my head, since I needed to take care of an errand when Annette was asleep. Surprisingly she didn’t give me any trouble when it was time to go to bed. She seemed content and when I kissed her good night she gave me a ravishing smile.

I waited until it was past midnight and she was in deep sleep before I left the house.

Entwhistle’s house was located in Noe Valley. It had been easy to find out his private address. I parked the car a block away so I wouldn’t attract any attention.

His house was a typical Noe Valley home, located on an incline, with two bedrooms and a bath up, and one bedroom and a bath downstairs behind the one car garage. It was probably built shortly after the 1906 earthquake and looked like a little gingerbread house. Many houses in Noe Valley were of a similar style. I knew the layout well. I had lived in a similar one many years earlier.

I climbed up the trellis and found a window in the front room which didn’t have a lock. As I pushed up the sash window I could feel it was sticky, but it opened wide enough for me to slip through.

I was in the formal living room which connected to the dining room and then through to the kitchen. I noticed they had wooden floors throughout, which meant I had to tread lightly. Most of these original wooden floors creaked and could be heard throughout the whole house. I didn’t want to wake up the Entwhistles who, I was almost certain, had their master bedroom downstairs.

One of the upper bedrooms would be Entwhistle’s office, I guessed and crossed the hallway to one of the doors.

I turned the knob quietly and slowly pushed the door open. It was the nursery. The room featured a baby’s crib, a rocking chair and a commode on which to change the baby’s diapers. The walls were adorned with colorful pictures suitable for a small child. A baby was sleeping in the crib. I could hear its even breathing pattern. I looked at it. It was probably ten to twelve months old. I saw the light of a baby monitor and knew Entwhistle and his wife would be listening.

Without a sound I closed the door again and went to the next one. As expected it was his home office. I let myself in. The entire wall was filled with bookcases. A large desk stood in front of it, facing the door. I went around the desk and sat down in the comfortable leather chair. I switched on the desk light.

The lamp illuminated the entire room and for a moment I looked at the photos he had displayed on his desk. One of it was a wedding picture showing the wedding party, Entwhistle, his wife, some bridesmaids and groomsmen as well as an older gentleman.

I went through the stack of papers on his desk. It was nothing of importance. I went through the drawers. The first had a vial in it. I took it out wondering if it was filled with his serum. When I looked at the little bottle I realized that it was empty. I read the label: it was Botox prescribed for Rebecca Entwhistle.

I glanced back at the wedding picture. How old was she? Who in their thirties would already need Botox? I shook my head and placed the bottle back into its box.

I found what I was looking for in the bottom drawer of his desk. The files contained the protocol I was looking for, the list of study subjects, and lots of notes.

As I leafed through the notes to decide whether to take them or not, I recognized my own handwriting. It couldn’t be! I had to be sure. I held them under the lamp. The notes were old photocopies. They were my own handwritten notes on my research, the same notes I had destroyed in a fire more than thirty years earlier.

I didn’t understand. There was no way he could have had access to them. The only notes which were still in existence were the ones I kept in my lab at home, where they were under tight security.

Suddenly I could hear the baby fussing. There was no time now. He or his wife would be upstairs in less than a minute to check on the baby. I had to move fast.

I grabbed the files, and switched off the desk light. I didn’t care that he would find out tomorrow that somebody had stolen his files. Considering he had stolen them from me, by whatever means, I couldn’t see him going to the police to report the theft.

As I closed the door behind me quietly I could hear a door opening downstairs. I sped to the living room window which I had left open. It saved me valuable seconds. I slid through it quickly and pulled the window back down when I was safely holding onto the trellis. I jumped down and landed quietly on the front lawn. I jogged to the car and drove off. Nobody had seen me. The papers lay on the passenger seat of my car. I couldn’t wait to get back to look at them in detail. How much did he know about my research? How much had he stolen? And more importantly, how much had he duplicated in his own research?

I was still waiting for the results of Annette’s contaminated blood and hoped by the time I would be back in my lab, my tests would be complete.

11. Annette’s Departure

When I woke up, I was alone. I had slept really well and remembered my dream: being kissed by Vince again and again. Then I realized it wasn’t a dream. He really had kissed me over and over again, there on the couch. And he had touched and kissed my breasts, following a little enticement from me, but nevertheless, he hadn’t rejected my advances.

I didn’t know what had come over him, but he had started kissing me in such a tender and tentative way I had felt like floating on a cloud. Something had changed, I could feel it. Was he finally ready to go further?

I figured the fact that I was incapacitated and under his medical supervision made him feel he was taking advantage of me if he would make love to me under these circumstances. Even though I didn’t feel that way, I could understand this could be a reason why he was holding back.

I would just have to get better fast, I decided. I checked my leg and felt only a dull pain which was bearable. Vince had left the Zimmer frame next to the bed and I used it to lift myself out of bed.

When I shuffled past the stairs, I could hear some noise coming from downstairs. He was already in his lab working.

I took my time in the bathroom. The hot water from the shower felt good on my skin. I imagined the water drops to be his fingers touching me. I had been surprised when he had told me I shouldn’t let him touch my breasts, but in the end he hadn’t been able to resist.

I felt ever since after he had kissed me in the lab, he had been much more in control of his emotions. Was I losing my appeal to him? Would he lose interest in me quickly? Was that why he wanted to take it slow, because he knew it would be over fast?

I didn’t want to think about it. Once I had dried off I applied moisturizer before combing my hair. I looked into the mirror wondering what he saw in me. Was I just some easy distraction he needed once in a while? I hoped not.

My hair was dry and there was no more reason to stay in the bathroom. I slipped into Vince’s bathrobe and used the Zimmer frame to enter his walk-in closet, where I got dressed.

Even after I was dressed, he hadn’t come back upstairs yet, and I didn’t want to wait for him any longer. I needed to see his face and make sure he was still the way he had been the night before, all tender and sweet.

At the stairs I left the Zimmer frame and used the railing for support to get downstairs. It was surprisingly easy. When I entered the lab, his back was turned to me as he sat over stacks of paper.

He heard me and turned. I could immediately tell that he looked tired and worried. Had he been working all night? His beard stubbles told me he hadn’t shaved yet.

He leapt up and with one swift move he took me by the waist and lifted me onto one of the lab benches. Then he simply buried his head in my chest.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” I heard him mumble.

I didn’t understand. I had been sleeping upstairs. Why wouldn’t I be alright?

I let my fingers run through his hair. “Of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I?”

He lifted his head and his beautiful green eyes locked with mine. “Entwhistle’s research.” He interrupted himself. “I came so close to losing you.”

As he buried his head in my chest again, I realized with this one sentence he had told me all I needed to know. I wasn’t just a fling for him.

I wondered what had happened overnight. Had he found something online which told him what Entwhistle was doing? It was highly unlikely that Entwhistle had published anything yet, when he was still in the middle of the clinical trial. Even I knew that much.

Or had he analyzed the serum in more depth and found it to be more dangerous than he had suspected? It was likely, especially since it seemed Vince had spent all night up without any sleep.

“Have you slept?”

He shook his head. “I don’t need much sleep.”

I pulled his head up to look at me and could feel his stubbles. “You need to rest. How else are you going to fend off my advances?” Making a joke was the right thing to do.

He suddenly smiled. “Even exhausted I could fend you off, if I wanted to.”

“Do you want to risk it?”

“Better not. You might be stronger than you look.”

He helped me get upstairs. “It looks like you’re a lot more mobile now. How’s your leg?”

“Much better. It barely hurts.”

“Do you mind if I lay down on the bed?”

“Of course not, it’s your bed. Do you need help undressing?” I smirked.

“Not from you, I don’t!” he said, but laughed. “And I’m keeping my clothes on, just to be safe.”

“That’s no fun.”

He shook his head and headed for the bed. I made myself breakfast and decided to eat it on the couch. When I realized I couldn’t carry my bowl at the same time as holding onto the Zimmer frame, I risked the few steps without it.

It went better than I thought, but I was glad the couch wasn’t far. I kept the volume of the TV down so I wouldn’t disturb Vince. He was stretched out on top of the covers and completely still.

I resisted the temptation to walk over to the bed and lie down next to him. I wasn’t sure how he would react. He not only looked exhausted, I also got the feeling he was deeply worried about something. I would ask him about it later when he was ready to talk.

I flicked through the channels. The weather report showed it would be foggy again, which was no surprise this time of year. I switched to the next channel.

“… another breach of data security for UCSF.” The anchor woman said. “Dr. Entwhistle is a researcher …” I listened up a soon as I heard Entwhistle’s name. What were they saying about him?

“After the break-in at his home in Noe Valley last night, the University released a statement saying no confidential patient files were compromised, but notes pertaining to Dr. Entwhistle’s research were stolen. This is not the first time Dr. Entwhistle’s research files have been compromised. A fire broke out in a residential hotel in the Tenderloin after …” she continued onto another story.

I hadn’t heard enough and flicked through the channels trying to find another local news station. I turned up the volume slightly so I wouldn’t miss anything.

“… an interview he gave several months ago about his research in the field of aging.” The anchor man said. “Do we have that tape? Yes? Here’s an excerpt of the interview.” The screen switched to show Dr. Entwhistle together with a female interviewer.

“It sounds a little like the so-called Fountain of Youth,” the interviewer said.

“You are a very smart woman. Indeed, we’ve been working on gene manipulation, specifically on how to switch off the gene which controls the aging process.” He sounded excited.

“So, in fact, you’re trying to stop people from aging?”

“Exactly!”

“And what have you found so far?”

“We have found the receptors of the gene and isolated them so that we can start testing different “switches” so to speak.”

The interview ended. Everything Entwhistle had said sounded like I had heard it before. I looked away from the TV to try to jog my memory, and stared at Vince who stood in the middle of the room.

It hit me: Vince had told me about his own research. It was word for word what Entwhistle had said in the interview. A look into Vince’s eyes and I knew he had listened to every word from the TV. He looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary.

“You stole his research?” I accused him. “You broke into this house?”

I was beside myself. How could he have lied to my like that? Was this all a setup?

“Annette, please, it’s not what you think.” He was anxious.

He didn’t deny anything. Guilt was written all over his face.

He came toward the couch and instinctively I pulled back. It made him stop in his tracks.

“I can’t believe you lied to me like that,” I was close to tears. I touched my lips and was instantly reminded of his kisses. I glared at him. “And all this, was just a game for you. All this playing hard to get, all this holding back. Oh my God, you must think me so stupid.”

I jerked up and got out of the couch, not listening to the pain in my leg as I limped to the closet.

“Annette, please, if you’ll just listen to me. It’s my research. He stole it from me.”

I looked at him. He was shameless. “Would you listen to yourself? How naïve do you think I am?” I ripped open the doors to the closet.

“I’ve got to get out of here.”

I grabbed my suitcase and threw some of my clothes into it. I could sense he stood at the door of the closet.

“Please.”

I didn’t respond. I closed the suitcase, and realized I had a second one. It didn’t matter. I stormed past him rolling my suitcase behind me. My handbag hung on a hook near the stairs. I grabbed it.

“Where are you going to go?” His voice was quiet, resigned.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and couldn’t speak.

“At least let me drive you.”

“I don’t need you.” I realized I couldn’t carry the suitcase down the stairs, not with the way my leg was hurting now, and I didn’t want his help. “I’ll send somebody to pick up my suitcases later.”

I held on to my handbag and made it down the stairs. The front door was locked. I unlocked it and opened the door. The cold air hit my face as I got outside and slammed the door behind me. I didn’t look back.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face and I lied to myself that it was because of the pain I felt in my leg. Everything he had done was a lie. The game he had played with me was cruel. The more he had held back, the more I had wanted him. Was this how he got his kicks?

I hobbled to the next corner trying to figure out where to go. I had only one choice. Maybe Carmela would help me out and let me crash on her couch for a night or two before I could sort myself out and get on a bus back to Des Moines.

That was where I belonged. I wasn’t cut out for this city. I had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. Was he laughing behind my back?

The bus brought me back to Carmela’s neighborhood and I was lucky I had only one and a half blocks to walk from the bus stop to her flat. I prayed that she was home. I rang the door bell and her voice shot through the intercom a few seconds later.

“Yes?”

“Carmela, it’s me, Annette. Can I come in please?”

She didn’t answer, but the buzzer sounded instantly. She waited for me at the door, and I could tell she was surprised to see me, and even more surprised to see me in tears.

“It didn’t work out?” She was perceptive. She waved me in.

“Can I stay for a couple of days?”

“Of course, you can. I’ll make you some tea, and then I’ll have to leave for an appointment.”

I was too much in pain to be surprised by her kindness and collapsed on the couch as soon as I sat down.

12. Vince’s Pain

I couldn’t believe what had happened. I didn’t understand why Entwhistle had reported the break-in. There was no rhyme or reason to it.

She had gotten it all wrong, and I hadn’t been prepared. What could I have said?

Sorry, but the research is mine and the way to prove it, is to show you what it did to me? That wasn’t the way to go. I had felt her pain. She was hurt. I had disappointed her. If she couldn’t live with the fact that I had broken into somebody’s house, how would she understand everything else I had done?

How could she accept what I was? I had been fooling myself into thinking she could accept me if she only got to know me. She wasn’t the one who was naïve, I was.

I knew she would leave town, but I still felt responsible for her and felt the urge to continue protecting her, even if she hated me now.

I had followed her. It hadn’t been difficult following the bus she had taken. I ran all the way. She had not looked back. I had seen how she had cried, and I felt a stabbing pain in my chest just watching her. When she had gotten off the bus, I had kept back, but watched her as she entered an apartment building.

Once I could be sure she had left the entrance hall I had gone to the door to read the names on the mail slots. I didn’t know what I was looking for until I read one name: Carmela Franklin. At least she hadn’t gone back to some other guy. She would be safe with her friend Carmela I hoped.

I looked up at the window not knowing behind which one she would be. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to stalk her. She deserved better. I had had less than three days with her, just enough to create a craving which would last a lifetime.

I didn’t deserve any better. I had had enough chances to tell her my secret, but I had been too much of a coward.

My lies were inexcusable, but at the same time I told myself that even if I had told her the full truth, she would have left me. I consoled myself that at least this way she would just hate me, rather than be disgusted by me, or frightened. Wasn’t that much better for her? Wouldn’t she get over it much faster thinking I was a liar and a cheat?

After staring at the building for a long time, I walked back to my place. I was in no hurry to get home. Nothing was waiting for me. Nobody smiled at me when I entered.

The air was still heavy with her scent. In the bathroom I found the sweater she had worn the day before. I buried my face in it, soaking in her smell, remembering how I had kissed her while she was wearing it. I replayed the events of the last few days in my head wondering what I could have done differently. I came up empty. It wasn’t meant to be.

I had to pull myself out of my dark mood and do something productive.

I needed to find out what had really happened. How had Entwhistle been able to get a hold of my research papers? A break-in into my tightly secured home was impossible, which only left one other possibility: it had to have happened before I had brought my records here, which meant it had to have happened over thirty years ago.

I remembered Entwhistle’s face and guessed he was in his late thirties. He had to have been a boy back then.

This meant I had to find out who had both access to my files back then and knew Entwhistle.

Over the years so many people went in and out of my lab that it could have been anybody, even the janitorial crew that emptied the garbage bins at night. Just figuring out who had access was not enough. I had to narrow it down to those with both access and motive if I wanted to find the culprit.

As to motive, I could only come up with two strong motivating factors for anybody to copy my research: revenge or ambition. Ambition would narrow my search to all those PhD candidates who worked with me over the years and weren’t confident or bright enough to master their own research. It would be easy enough to track down what they were doing now and whether they had connections to Entwhistle.

However, ambition didn’t explain why they themselves hadn’t used the research after my disappearance and claimed it as their own. Why wait thirty years and then have somebody else take credit for it?

I would pursue this route nevertheless. Most people didn’t act logically and maybe there was a good reason why the notes had been hidden away for so long.

The second motive, revenge, was also plausible. I had been such an arrogant prick back then, completely self-absorbed and egotistic, that I was sure I had pissed off a fair number of people.

There was no way I could find all of them, since I wasn’t even aware of how many people I could have alienated enough for them to want to take revenge. I had to concentrate on those who had the closest contact with me and would have felt my daily annoyances most. Certainly my lab personnel, post-docs, interns and admin personnel came to mind.

My lab had been like a revolving door when it came to personnel. Many had left of their own accord because they couldn’t keep up with my unreasonable demands. My ambition had been unparalleled and I had demanded absolute loyalty and dedication from my staff. Unfortunately the environment at UCSF hadn’t given me the tools to reward my employees accordingly and underpaid employees didn’t show the same dedication to my work as I did.

There were of course always those who could have never gotten a job in the outside world and would therefore hang on for dear life.

Those had been the ones I had had to fire, a process which was long and tedious because of the stifling bureaucracy at the University.

This meant a disgruntled employee knew well in advance when he or she would be fired, and would continue to come to work, have access to all files and could copy them to their heart’s content.

I couldn’t rule out anybody, however small the possibility was. I started by making a list of all lab staff, post-docs, secretaries and interns, anybody whose name I could vaguely remember. It helped that I could look through my original records and associate events in the lab with it: somebody’s birthday party, an award, a trip to a conference. It all helped jog my memory and remember the names.

I put them into two different categories, revenge and ambition. Some I had to put into both.

Once I had my list, I counted them. Over thirty-five people were too many to check up on. I had to narrow them down considerably.

The easiest were the post-docs. Just by googling their names I was able to find out what they were doing now. Most had published research papers either as the lead PI or in collaboration with others and seemed to be rather successful in their field. I was confident to eliminate those post-docs from my list immediately.

Many were now successful researchers or physicians in other cities and a few had even become chiefs of medical departments at prestigious hospitals.

With the elimination of most of the post-docs my list shrunk down to nineteen. It was still too large. I spent hours searching for the names of the remaining people on my list.

A few had died. I read Mabel’s obituary. She had been my secretary until she had asked for a transfer. She had died of heart disease in the early 80s. I remembered her to be a heavy set woman, but she had barely been in her late forties when she had worked for me.

I felt bad that I hadn’t treated her better back then. Had I known she had only a few years left, but there was no use dwelling on it. I couldn’t change what I had done back then.

Several accidents later my list was down to fourteen, most of them on the revenge side of my list. I was struggling to find other criteria by which to eliminate suspects from my list.

I assumed that whoever had given or sold the papers to Entwhistle was still in the US or had strong ties to this country. Maybe I could eliminate those from my list who left to return to their own country?

Several of my staff had been foreign nationals. It was possible they had gone back home. I found four who had returned to the Philippines and Europe, respectively, and started up businesses there. They even had their own websites. Their elimination brought my list down to ten.

I read through the list again and again. Was there anybody else I could eliminate? Had everybody really had access to all the notes?

I had to go back to look at them again. Which notes did Entwhistle have? Where had I kept them back then? And who was aware I had written them?

I leafed through the photocopies I had taken from Entwhistle’s house the night before and sorted them chronologically. I started reading them. It took me back to the time when I had thought I was so close to finding the fountain of youth. It took me back to the time when I wasn’t aware of my biggest mistake yet, when I still thought I was on the right track.

I stared at the dates of some of the notes and realized that only a few short months later my world would collapse.

The animal trials I had been conducting at the time had been extremely successful. I had been so confident I had applied for human subjects approval in order to conduct clinical trials. I had been crushed when I had received the rejection, and my lab staff had had to deal with my anger for weeks.

After finding and isolating the aging gene, I had experimented with hundreds of possible switches to turn it off. I had tried synthetic as well as organic compounds, from the conventional to the ridiculous.

Nothing was dismissed as impossible before I had tried it. Then finally I had made a breakthrough. The lab worms’ cells didn’t age anymore. I had done it! I had switched off the gene which controlled aging.

I had shown that the worms lived on average almost twice as long as without my switch. I had been so confident I had rushed to animal trials with mice. I had done what nobody before me had done, and what nobody after me had done. I had found the switch. The tests I had performed on the mice’s cells had confirmed it.

The feeling I had felt for days after my data had shown that the mice weren’t aging anymore, was comparable to a constant drug high. I had been so elated I had looked past the behavioral problems the mice seemed to be exhibiting.

I had wanted to go to clinical trials immediately, so the rejection by the Human Subjects Committee at the University had stung. I had accused them of wanting to hold me back. I had been furious. Everybody had started avoiding me after that. I had been a pain to be around. But I was stubborn and young and wouldn’t listen to reason.

That was when I had decided to inject myself. I would show them, I had thought. They would have to concede when I had proven to them that I was right all along.

It didn’t take long until the serum had done its work. I had been in my flat shouting to an employee over the phone, when the rage had overtaken me and started my transformation.

I had stared into the mirror and started seeing the beast in me, its eyes, its claws, its teeth. I had noticed how my body had gotten stronger and my muscles grown larger and I had recognized my mistake instantly. I had remembered the aggressive behavior of the lab mice and knew I had started showing the same characteristics. A beast was growing in me, and the more I saw it come out the more I realized it was a wild animal like a big mountain cat of some sort.

I wasn’t able to reverse it, and I knew controlling it would take all my energy. My life as I knew it was over.  I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but the only explanation I had was that the switch had to have been contaminated. I started fresh and created an entirely new batch of the switch. When I tried it out on the mice again, the same thing happened and I had to admit that the switch hadn’t been contaminated. I had to accept the fact that the switch didn’t only turn off the aging gene but also turned off something else in the brain and brought back primal animal instincts.

I set out to research the phenomenon. The only thing I could find was some old Native American Indian myths which seemed to suggest every human had an animal within him which provided him with power. If I believed any of the myths, it would mean my switch had unlocked the power animal within me and I couldn’t lock it back in anymore. American Indian spiritual beliefs seemed to accept that power animals represented qualities reflective of the inner self that were needed to enhance daily life. Had I needed to take on the qualities of an animal to deal with the issues that I would face once I had switched off my aging gene? Was this by design?

I was never a particularly spiritual or religious person, and connecting to these beliefs was impossible for me. I was a man of science and there had to be a perfectly valid scientific explanation for it. I devoted my life to finding it.

My decision to torch my lab and disappear was the only thing which had made sense to me at the time. I had to destroy all data so nobody else would get this far and make the same fatal mistake. I hadn’t published my findings yet, which I was grateful for in retrospect.

I had gone into hiding immediately after the lab fire but not before I had saved the crucial data I needed to continue working on a cure. Nobody seemed to miss me. I hadn’t made that many friends.

I had been grateful that my parents never had to find out. Their car had crashed on an icy road in Boston the same year. My father’s insurance money and the sale of their house in Boston had been enough for me to buy the run down warehouse nobody wanted and turn it into my fortress. The remainder provided me with a good income, and my knowledge about medicine helped me invest in pharmaceutical and medical device companies whose shares grew over the years. I didn’t have to worry about anything but finding a cure for my condition.

Despite my relentless work for thirty years I hadn’t gotten any closer to it than when I had first started. The one thing I had however achieved was to get to know the animal within me. I knew my power animal was a mountain lion with tremendous speed, agility and stealth in darkness, a skill I started using once I had discovered it. But the animal was also solitary. Another thirty years of solitude suddenly seemed unacceptable to me.

Now, more than ever, I wished I could be normal again and rid myself of the animal inside of me. Having fallen in love with Annette, and I was truly in love with her, made me want to give everything in exchange for her love and acceptance. But it wasn’t mine to offer that exchange.

My thoughts of Annette distracted me. I stretched out on the couch to rest and collect my thoughts on how to proceed, but her scent which lingered in the fabric didn’t let me.

I knew enough about her to know I had hurt her by keeping the truth from her. But I also realized she was tough and resilient. She wasn’t afraid of wild cats and I knew a thing or two about wilds cats myself.

Maybe once she had cooled down I could go and talk to her to see if I could mend things. My problem was though that I was afraid she would leave for Des Moines before I got a chance.

I counted on Carmela and the curiosity I had detected in her look when she had seen us at the top of Twin Peaks together. Maybe she would keep her long enough to get all the juicy details out of her before she would want her to leave.

Somehow I guessed Annette wasn’t one to kiss and tell, so I hoped it would take a while.

I had to get back to my list. I still had ten possible suspects and no idea where to start.

I tried a different approach. Instead of eliminating anybody else from my list, I had to find out whether anybody had connections with Entwhistle. So I framed a search to find any incidences where the name of the suspect and Entwhistle’s would show up together.

Three of them had been to the same conference as Entwhistle, but it was too recent, only a month ago, certainly long after Entwhistle had started his research on aging.

One suspect was a regular donor to the same charity Entwhistle supported as a member of the board. That was certainly a good enough connection. I highlighted his name.

Another one was a member of the same tennis club as Entwhistle. He was worth being highlighted. However, the connections seemed too casual, too unimportant. I felt like I was missing something.

San Francisco was a small town. Many people knew each other, especially in the medical community. For somebody to give Entwhistle my notes, whether for money or not, there had to be a closer connection.

I just couldn’t see it yet, and it bothered me. I had no time to lose. Entwhistle had to be stopped before he could hurt anybody else. I needed to know how much he knew.

13. Annette’s Skill

Carmela would be back by lunch time. Her new roommate was gone, so I had been on my own and cried until I had no tears left. I had to get it out of my system. I had to get him out of my system.

I felt betrayed, but at the same time there had been inconsistencies and warnings I hadn’t taken in. He had said he had wanted me to get to know him better before he went further. Was that just so I would want him even more? What was his little game?

Had he really tried to warn me that he was a thief and an imposter? He surely would be called an imposter if he tried to take credit for research which wasn’t his.

“Have you eaten?” Carmela’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t heard her come back.

I shook my head and tried to hide my eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

She sat down next to me on the couch.

“So, what happened with him? Did he dump you?” Subtlety had never been her strong suit.

“No. I left him.”

She was clearly shocked to hear my response.

“Now I really want to hear what happened! Why would you leave somebody like him? I mean, did you actually look at him? He’s a dish!” She babbled on, until she realized I hadn’t answered her. “Did you sleep with him?”

I shook my head. “He didn’t want to.” I said even though I didn’t really want to tell her anything.

“You spent three nights with him and didn’t sleep with him? Is he gay?” She sounded clearly disappointed.

“No, he’s not gay. There’s no way.” Was there? I thought to myself. “No, definitely not.”

Carmela didn’t think so either. “I must say, the way he kissed you when Ben and I saw you, didn’t look gay to me. Why would he not sleep with you? I mean, you’re pretty enough.”  It didn’t even hurt when she said that. I was used to her direct way.

I shrugged my shoulders. “What does it matter now? I’m not with him anymore.” I tried to sound as normal and indifferent as possible, but my voice broke and betrayed me.

“So, what do you want to do now? Are you staying?”

“No, I have to go back to Des Moines. Nothing’s really changed.”

“At least stay a day or two and rest before you go back. You don’t want to show up at your aunt’s the way you look right now.” She pointed at my face. “You might want to avoid her questions.”

She was right. If I showed up at my aunt’s in my current condition, she would give me the third degree. As much as I had often gotten annoyed with Carmela while I had been living with her, she always got to the point fast.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it, Carmela.”

“What are friends for?”

We hadn’t exactly been friends, but it was good to at least have somebody who wanted to help.

“Let’s have some lunch and then we’ll go out and do some window shopping. What do you say?” She suggested cheerfully. She didn’t like people moping around.

“Sounds good.” I forced a smile. She looked at my face.

“You can borrow my make-up. Trust me, dear, you need it.”

Again, her directness should have hurt me, but she meant well. I knew where she kept her make-up and went to the bathroom while I heard her handle some pots in the kitchen.

When I looked into the bathroom mirror, I jerked back and realized what she had meant. The skin around my eyes was red and puffed up as if I had had an allergic reaction. I looked awful. I didn’t want to attract attention to myself, or worse, pity, so I took Carmela’s advice and used her foundation, covered it with powder and then added mascara. I still looked like a scarecrow, but not quite as scary as before.

In the kitchen, Carmela sat a bowl of soup in front of me. I realized I was hungry after all and started eating.

“So, what happened to your leg?”

I still limped and was surprised she had only asked about it now.

“Oh, that.” I played it down.

“Yes, that.” She repeated and waited. “So, spill.”

We had to talk about something rather than just sit and eat in silence.

“I was assaulted the evening I was supposed to get onto the bus.”

She stared at me in shock. “Oh my God! What happened?”

“I was in this dark alley …”

She gave me a disapproving look.

“Well, it was a shortcut,” I defended myself. “And this guy jumps out at me. I think he wanted to rape me. Thank God for my tight jeans! He couldn’t get them off.” I remembered well. “He pulled out a knife though and stabbed me in the leg, before somebody pulled him off me.”

“Vince saved you? That’s how you met him. That’s so romantic.”

“No, no. I don’t know who saved me,” I lied. I wasn’t going to mention the creature to her. “I blacked out. Vince patched me up. He’s a doctor.”

“Oh, so you met him at the ER. Still kind of romantic.”

“Actually I didn’t meet him at the hospital. He patched me up at his house.”

Her mouth fell open. “You are kidding me! And you’re telling me he’s not the one who saved you from that rapist?”

“No, he’s not. He found me after the attack and brought me home to stop the bleeding.” I was sure of that.

“Annette, you’re just as naïve as Lois Lane. Do you know how long it took her to figure out that Clark Kent was Superman? Four movies long!”

“That’s really far fetched.” I knew what I was talking about. I had seen the creature’s eyes and claws and I had stared into Vince’s eyes so many times and felt his hands on my skin. They were nothing like the creature’s.

“You have a very active imagination.”

“Believe what you must, but I’m telling you, I’m right.” She cleared our soup plates and served salad.

“So, a doctor, not bad,” she continued. “What’s his place like?”

“It’s sort of a loft, quite large and open.” I decided to leave out the lab and the lack of windows in order not to give Carmela any more ammunition for her active imagination.

“A loft, wow.” She seemed impressed. “So, he’s handsome, sexy beyond belief, a doctor, obviously with money and you left him, why again?”

I swallowed hard. It wasn’t something I could discuss. “It’s complicated.”

She rolled her eyes.

“He’s not what he seems.”

“No man ever is.” She gave me her usual direct answer. “And trust me, you don’t want somebody you know everything about after the first date. Predictable men are boring. All men have to have a few little secrets.”

I wasn’t too thrilled about his, being a thief and an imposter. Those secrets were just not little enough for my liking.

“A little predictability is good,” I insisted. I decided to change the subject. “You and Ben are dating. I thought you were after that guy at work. What was his name?”

“Oh, Sebastian. I tried, but he didn’t seem to get my hints.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Hints? Since when do you just drop hints?” I was surprised she was suddenly doing something subtle.

“Well, it’s complicated. And besides, we work together, so I can’t just jump him. What if he says no? Imagine how awkward that would be!” She was all excuses.

“Since when does that bother you?” I continued probing. Carmela wasn’t exactly what one would call shy. On the contrary, she was probably the most forward woman I knew.

“I can’t just flash him my boobs. He’s not the kind of guy who goes for that sort of thing,” she blurted out.

My eyes involuntarily went to her chest. She certainly did have a nice body. I had always been a little jealous about that. Her breasts were at least a cup-size larger than mine.

“You’d be surprised what some guys go for,” I said and laughed.

She waved me off. “That coming from you just doesn’t sound right. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?”

“I’m fine. So how’s it going with Ben then?” I didn’t want her to come back to me as the primary subject.

She looked at me, a little sheepishly.

“We started seeing each other after you guys split, just so you know.” She checked for my reaction. I didn’t care either way.

“He’s actually kind of nice once you get to know him. And reasonable in bed, but then you know.”

“Actually, I don’t. We didn’t get that far.” I was glad about it in retrospect, and it seemed Carmela was pleased about that fact too. Having shared the same lover would have been just too creepy.

“Oh, well, anyway. Considering I can’t get Sebastian, he’s quite ok.”

I was glad she decided not to go into any more details than necessary.

“What’s your new roommate like?”

“She’s ok. A little boring maybe, but she’s tidy and quiet. She’s a student at SFU.”

“I’m sure it won’t take you long to convert her to your lifestyle.”  Carmela had a way of introducing people to her way of living which made it hard to say no. While she was definitely a clean freak around the flat, she was also a party girl.

“Give me a few weeks.” She laughed.

“So, any chance of reconciliation?” She was back on her favorite subject: my love life.

I shook my head vehemently. No, it had to be over. He was a crook, a con artist, a cheat, a liar.

“Okay, okay. I get it. Shame, though. He sure was a hottie.” She took our empty salad plates and put them into the sink. “I’ll do dishes later.”

She looked at the calendar which hung on her fridge.

“Oh, I forgot. It’s Cinco de Mayo today! We should go and watch the festivities. What do you say?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?” I was a little worried about my leg and didn’t feel like walking too much.

“Let’s take the J-Church to Dolores Park. We can hang out there. There’s always something going on, I’m sure.” She packed a few bottles of water and a blanket into a small backpack and off we were. I appreciated that she walked slowly as we made our way to the bus stop.

“Didn’t you think it was kind of strange that he took you to his home rather than the hospital?”

Was she still on the same subject? I threw her a cautioning look.

“I mean, especially, since he didn’t even take advantage of the situation,” she qualified. She could be a bit of a nag when she wanted to get to the bottom of things. And subtlety was unknown to her. So I humored her.

“Sure it was a little odd at first, but he was so professional about it. He took care of my wounds and, he was such a gentleman.” I recalled in my mind how he had made sure I could take a shower on my own.

“So, what changed?” Still the same question. She wanted to know. I could tell it bugged her that I hadn’t revealed my reason yet.

“Oh,” I looked outside the bus window. “Isn’t that our stop?” It was. We had to transfer to the streetcar. I could tell Carmela was annoyed I hadn’t answered yet.

The streetcar was just pulling to the stop as we got across the street. It was packed and I was glad. It would give me a reprieve from Carmela’s questions.

Hordes of people got off at Dolores Park and I was surprised we managed to find a spec of grass on which to spread out our blanket and sit down. We had managed to get a spot near the top of the park which afforded fabulous views over the City. It was sunny and the view into downtown was breathtaking.

“It’s gorgeous here.”

“Beats Des Moines, doesn’t it?” she asked. I hated to be reminded. “Are you sure you want to go back?” I was surprised she asked me. She of all people knew better than anybody that I had tried hard enough and not succeeded.

“No, but I have to. There’s nothing here for me.”

I saw from the corner of my eye that she raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. She had finally given up.

We watched the music groups and dance groups dressed in their traditional Latino dress perform. People had brought picnics, some had even brought barbeques and I could smell the scent of grilled meat in my nose. Families had brought their kids and dogs and were enjoying the sunny day.

I took a gulp from the water Carmela had brought, when I heard a dog growl not far from me. I turned to see what was going on. It took me only seconds to realize what was wrong.

A three year old boy stood about three yards away from a pit bull type dog and held a dog toy in his tiny hand. I knew instinctively what had happened. Somebody had thrown the dog toy for the dog to fetch and the boy had found it. How long would it take for the dog to lunge at the child?

There was no time to think. I moved fast, grabbing the boy with both arms and dragging him behind me. I ignored his cries, which alerted not only Carmela next to me but also his parents who were a few yards away from us. I couldn’t see their reactions as I concentrated on the dog. He had focused his attention on me and fletched his sharp teeth at me. Where was his owner?

I lowered my eyes, while I spoke very quietly to him.

“Everything is ok. You’re a good dog. Nobody wants to take your toy.”

He still growled.

“You’re a good dog,” I repeated. “You don’t want to hurt anybody.”

The dog looked at me and suddenly tilted its head. I reached behind me and in the same quiet voice gave Carmela instructions.

“Carmela, give me the toy.”

I felt the slimy dog toy in my hand a second later and brought it in front of me. On my knees I moved forward very slowly and placed the toy in front of the now calmer dog.

“It’s yours, take it.” I encouraged him. He snapped at it, turned and ran off.

The boy behind me was still crying. His parents ran to him as soon as the dog was gone. The woman pulled him into his arms and comforted him. Her husband looked at me.

“I don’t know how to thank you.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Nothing happened.”

“Thanks to you.” He shook my hand with both of his. “Thank you.”

As they took their boy back to their space, I could hear her accusatory voice.

“I thought you were watching him …”

I turned back to Carmela who had her mouth open.

“What are you? Some sort of dog whisperer or what?”

It was the same word Vince had used – whisperer. I wasn’t an animal whisperer.

“I just have an easier time dealing with animals than with people,” I said aloud. “That’s all. And besides, the dog just wanted his toy back.”

“Oh, and you knew that?” She sounded sarcastic.

“Well everybody could have seen that,” I defended my reasoning. It really wasn’t that hard to guess what the dog wanted. It was just common sense.

She shook her head and gave up. I stretched out on the blanket and let the warm sun shine on my face. Carmela did the same and for a while we just laid there not talking. I let my thoughts go back to Vince and the way he had looked at me before I had stormed out: guilty, but also pained.

Was everything a lie? His kisses? His touch? His voice? His eyes, the way he had looked at me as if looking into my soul? Which part was real and which was a lie? I couldn’t believe I had been so wrong in trusting him. Was I really such an easy target?

I remembered he had told me there would be things I wouldn’t like about him. Why hadn’t I headed his warnings?

I wanted him to have an explanation for what he had done, but since I couldn’t come up with one myself, I couldn’t believe he had one that would be plausible. He was a mystery to me, one I wouldn’t solve.

I hadn’t told him where I was going, so there was no way he could even try to explain himself. He didn’t even know what my last name was.

He wasn’t the knight in shining armor who would suddenly show up and explain all my doubts away and sweep me up into his arms. It wasn’t going to happen. It was final.

“Annette, are you sleeping?” Carmela’s voice pierced through my thoughts.

“No, just thinking.”

“Why did you cry when you left him? I mean, I’ve never seen you cry for any of the other guys, not even when they dumped you.” She was very perceptive.

“The others didn’t mean anything to me.”

“And he did? After only what, two, three days?”

“Why do you want to know?” I tried to deflect her question.

“I think it might have been fate that brought you together, and you shouldn’t mess with fate.”

“Don’t tell me you believe in all this stuff about things that are meant to be. It’s pretty ridiculous.”

She didn’t probe any further, but only gave me a strange look.

The afternoon drew to a close and we packed up. It was a challenge to get back onto the streetcar, since everybody had decided to leave at the same time.

Carmela had gotten quiet and I appreciated it. I had told her enough about my troubles and didn’t want to give her any more details. She was a good person, but there were things I wanted to keep to myself.

We cooked burgers for dinner and ate in front of the TV. Carmela’s roommate dropped her head in briefly. She was close to my age and relatively shy. After a quick hello and listening to Carmela tell her I would be sleeping on the couch for a couple of nights she retreated back to her room.

“See what I mean?” Carmela asked after she had left.

“Don’t worry, she’ll warm up and be fun … one day.” I laughed.

“Your word in God’s ear,” she said skeptically and started yawning.

“I’m really tired today.”

I looked at the clock. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet.

“You know where the sheets and the spare blankets are, so help yourself. And there are new toothbrushes under the sink.” She got up.

“Thanks so much. Sleep tight.” I said as she left the living room. I wasn’t tired yet. I dreaded going to sleep. It would only bring back thoughts about Vince. So I decided to continue watching TV.

14. Vince’s Knowledge

I had to think, so I jumped into the car and sped through the City. It was night and quiet even for a Monday. I let the car’s engine rev up as I raced up Twin Peaks taking the sharp curves without slowing down. The last time I had come up here had been with Annette and my driving had been a lot gentler. I wasn’t in a gentle mood tonight. In fact, I was in a foul mood.

I hadn’t gotten any further in my search for who had leaked my research notes.

I wondered for a brief second if it was even important to know how it had happened, and decided it was. If I didn’t know who had done it, how could I ever be sure Entwhistle was the only one with this information?

What if somebody else would come out of the woodworks a few years down the road, after I had destroyed Entwhistle and start up again? I couldn’t risk that.

I parked the car and got out. As always a few cars were parked near the observation area. I walked past the street light under which I had kissed Annette for the first time. I paused for a fraction of a second letting the sweet memory of that moment rush through me.

I didn’t regret my actions of that night. I hadn’t pushed her into anything she hadn’t wanted. She had been too willing a participant in that passionate kiss.

I walked to the wall and stood there looking down at the City, its lights and its darkness. Somewhere amongst those lights lay my destiny.

I wondered what somebody like Entwhistle would be thinking right now. Did he have a conscience? Did he know what he was doing to those people, the danger he was putting the City in? Did his wife know what he was doing? I couldn’t imagine it.

What woman who loved her husband could still love him when she found out what evil he was causing? I had seen how little it took to lose someone’s love.

As I stared down at the City, a wedding party arrived. The bride and groom were elegantly dressed. They were accompanied by what seemed to be their respective parents. I could overhear them talking.

One of the older men put his arm on the groom’s shoulder.

“Let me show you something.” He pulled him to one of the viewing glasses and put a coin in it. He first calibrated it, looked through it, then pointed for the groom to look through it.

“The piece of land you’re looking at, that’s my daughter’s dowry.” The old man said.

The groom stared at the man and instantly hugged him.

“Thank you! Christine!” he called out to his bride.

She smiled at him.

“Did you know that?”

She nodded.

She knew about her father’s gift. They started taking photos. The flash went off several times. Wedding photos.

I remembered the wedding photo I had recently seen. It was Entwhistle’s. It had been on his desk in his home office. I recalled the photo in my mind: bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen and the man in his seventies.

I knew now who he reminded me of: somebody I had worked with back in ’78. He had been my lab manager. I had fired him for incompetence a month before my transformation. His name was Jeffrey Rosenschmid.

I ran to the car. I needed confirmation. It felt like the ride home took forever. As I rushed to my computer I was almost sure I had the right guy.

My fingers flew over the keyboard as I ran my search. I found the wedding license. Entwhistle and his wife had gotten married in San Francisco. There was her maiden name: Rosenschmid.

My former lab manager was Entwhistle’s father-in-law. My research papers had been her dowry. Now I understood. Jeffrey had been angry with me when I had decided to let him go, but as UCSF’s bureaucracy went, I had to keep him for a few months longer than I really wanted to, which gave him ample opportunity to copy all my notes.

How much anger had he harbored all these years to have held on to the papers? And what luck for him that his daughter had married a physician. Now I understood how Entwhistle was able to rise up so quickly, when his background wasn’t even genetics.

He had been handed the blueprint to my research at his wedding. What a wedding present! With one move Jeffrey had secured his daughter’s future, and taken his revenge. I had to hand it to him; to show this much patience in waiting until the moment was right took a lot.

Had the anger kept him going for so long? Had I destroyed his career by firing him? Was he justified? I couldn’t judge him for what he had done, because I didn’t know whether I had been justified in my actions back then.

In any case, it was done. At least I knew now, and I could be certain Entwhistle was the only one who needed to be stopped. Now I knew what I had to do.

15. Annette’s Panic

The TV was still on when I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep on the couch, fully dressed. I hadn’t even brought out the sheets yet. It was pitch-black outside and the clock next to the TV showed it was a little past midnight.

I tried to figure out what had awoken me, but it was quiet now and I decided I had probably been uncomfortable in my position on the couch.

Carmela kept clean sheets and blankets in the linen closet in the bathroom, so I decided to make the couch a little more hospitable.

The bathroom door was ajar and the lights were on. It wasn’t like Carmela to waste electricity, so it was probably the new girl, Francesca, who had not switched them off. I decided not to tell Carmela. She would only give Francesca a hard time about it.

I pushed the door open and suddenly felt resistance midway. Something was blocking the door from opening up completely. I squeezed through to find out what it was and stared at Carmela lying on the floor. She was dressed in her nightgown.

“Carmela!” I bent down to her trying to shake her to wake her up.

“Carmela, wake up.” I was surprised to find her passed out. She hadn’t been drinking anything all day. There was no reason why she had passed out on the bathroom floor. Was she sick?

I shook her again. She finally opened her eyes a little.

“What’s wrong Carmela?”

“I’m not feeling well.” Her voice was barely audible. She tried to sit up, but couldn’t. I helped her up.

“Let me help you back to bed. Or, do you need to throw up?”

She shook her head.

“No. Just so dizzy.”

Luckily Carmela didn’t weigh more than I did and I was able to support her weight to help her back to bed. I knew my leg would thank me later.

Her body fell into bed, limp. We had eaten the same things all day, except for breakfast, so I ruled out food poisoning. Was there a stomach flu going around in San Francisco? Even if there was, she didn’t show the right symptoms, since she said she didn’t need to throw up.

“I’m so thirsty.”

“I’ll get you some water,” I volunteered and darted into the kitchen filling a large glass with water.

I had to support her back to help her sit up so she could drink. In the year I had shared the flat with Carmela, I had never seen her sick. I had seen her drunk and passed out before, but that was different.

“You should try to get some rest. Do you need anything else before I turn the lights off?”

“No.” Her voice sounded sleepy.

I turned off the light and closed the door behind me. I hoped she would sleep, but I would look in on her later. I suddenly wasn’t tired anymore.

Nevertheless, I decided to put the sheets and blankets onto the couch in case I got tired later. I was surprised Carmela’s roommate hadn’t woken up, even though her bedroom was right next to Carmela’s. Some people could sleep through everything.

I hadn’t completed that thought yet, when her roommate’s door opened. Francesca stuck her head out.

“Can you please keep it down? I have an exam tomorrow,” she sniped. So much for the shy and quiet girl, I thought.

“Carmela is sick,” I defended myself.

She just shrugged her shoulders.

“Then I’m sure she’ll appreciate the quiet too,” she said pointedly before shutting the door.

As I put the sheets on the couch and spread out a couple of blankets, I noticed the curtains in the living room were still open. I got up and for a moment looked out of the window, gazing at the lights of the City. Somewhere down there was Vince’s place. I wondered whether he was sleeping or whether he was up like I was. Was he sitting on his couch where he had kissed me until I had forgotten everything around me?

I didn’t want to think about it anymore and pulled the curtains shut, hoping by closing the curtains I could close this chapter for good.

The late night comedy shows finished on TV and an hour later I was solidly in infomercial territory. It was either that or Chinese language soaps. Neither had much appeal to me.

I had never been a night owl and always assumed I had missed out on something by being in bed before midnight. Now I realized nothing happened after midnight.

I trotted into the bathroom and took Carmela up on the new toothbrush underneath the sink. I was still wearing Carmela’s makeup and used some of her creams and tinctures to remove it from my face. I didn’t like makeup, but today I had been glad I had used it. It had made me feel halfway normal.

I switched off the light in the bathroom and decided to check on Carmela. Quietly I opened the door and left it ajar so the light from the hallway would illuminate her room enough without me having to switch the light on and possibly wake her.

She was tossing and turning. I could see she was bathed in sweat. It wasn’t a good sign. I felt her forehead with my cool hand and knew she was burning up. I had to do something.

In the bathroom I found some washcloths which I soaked in cold water and wrung out.

Back at her bedside I tried to cool her body down by putting the cold washcloths on her forehead and neck. I had to try to get her to drink some water and reached for the glass on her bedside table. I missed it and it fell to the floor where I heard it break.

“Damn!”

Now I had no choice but to switch on the light and pick up the pieces of glass so she wouldn’t hurt herself in the morning. The light of the bedside lamp didn’t wake her up. I bent down to the floor and picked up the pieces of broken glass when I noticed a small card on the floor.

It had probably fallen off her bedside table when I had knocked over the glass. I picked it up and put it back on the table. The light of the bedside lamp shone on it.

I froze. I recognized the card immediately. I had received the same card after my visit to UCSF, after my visit to Entwhistle’s clinic.

“Oh no, Carmela!” I panicked. I tried to shake her, but she wouldn’t wake up. I remembered how on the day when I had left she had found the flyers in my room, and I had suggested she should participate in some of the trials to make extra money. I needed to ask her what she had done, but I couldn’t. She wouldn’t wake up. There was only one other way to find out.

I pulled back her covers and tilted her to one side, then hitched up her nightgown to look at her thigh. I couldn’t see anything. I tried the other side, and there it was: the dark spot underneath her skin. I touched the spot and felt the bump. It was the same bump I had felt on the day I had been injected.

I could tell the capsule had already started to leak, much more than my own had from what Vince had told me.

I tried to feel her pulse, and even though I could not count how high it was since I had no experience in this at all, I could feel it racing. Those were the same symptoms Vince had told me I had shown.

He hadn’t lied. I knew that now. Entwhistle was dangerous. Whether Vince had stolen his research or not didn’t matter at this moment. What mattered was he could save Carmela.

I knew instinctively that calling 9-1-1 was futile. They wouldn’t know what to do. Vince was the only one who did. He had helped me. I knew he could help her if I only got to him fast enough.

My only problem was I didn’t know his phone number. In fact, I had never even noticed a telephone at his home, even though he had to surely have one.

A look in the phonebook confirmed that if he had a phone, his number wasn’t listed.

“Carmela, you need to hold on, please. I have to get help.”

She couldn’t hear me.

I snatched her house keys from the table, stuffed some money into my pocket, jumped into my shoes and rushed out the door. I knew I didn’t have much time. I ignored the pain in my leg as I raced down the stairs and out the door.

16. Vince’s House Call

I saw her on the security camera before she even reached my front door. She paid the taxi driver and sent him away. This action gave me hope, because it meant she wasn’t here to pick up her suitcases, otherwise she would have kept the taxi driver waiting.

Of course, the fact that it was past two o’clock at night didn’t speak for my suitcase theory either. Whatever she wanted, it wasn’t her suitcases.

I rushed to the door and flung it open before she even had a chance to knock. I startled her. The look on her face was panicked. Should I have let her knock first? Was I too anxious to see her?

“Annette,” was all I could say, when I wanted to tell her so much more.

“I need your help,” she burst out.

What was wrong? I could hear the fear and panic in her voice, and my body immediately went into hyper alert, tensing up.

“It’s Carmela. Entwhistle injected her.”

I could sense she was horrified, and so was I. There was no time to waste.

“Get in the car,” I ordered as I pulled her into the house and locked the door behind her. I ran into the lab, grabbed my instrument bag and jerked open the fridge. I took several vials of serum out and placed them in my bag, before slamming the fridge door shut.

When I got into the driver’s seat, I was relieved to see that she had followed my instructions and was strapped into the passenger seat, her seatbelt tight. She would need it.

“When did it happen?” I asked her as I shot out of the garage with the engine roaring.

“I don’t know. I was with her all day.”

“Think back, please. It’s important.”

From the corner of my eye I could see how she frantically searched her memory.

“In the morning. She had an appointment. She was back before noon.”

This meant almost eighteen hours had passed. It was cutting it close.

“Describe her symptoms to me.”

“Her pulse is racing, she’s sweating. I think she has a fever. She felt dizzy earlier.”

The fever worried me. It meant it had started.

“Did you see the injection site?”

She nodded. “It’s dark under her skin, and I could feel the bump.”

“That’s good, it means the capsule hasn’t fully dissolved yet. There’s still a chance.”

I pulled the car to a stop parking opposite her apartment building. I wondered whether she would notice that she hadn’t told me where Carmela lived, but figured she was too panicked to realize I already knew where to go.

I jumped out of the car and Annette followed me. Her hands shook as she tried to unlock the entrance door, so I took her keys out of her hands and unlocked it for her. I went for the elevator which was on the entrance level.

“Which floor?”

“The top.” She said, and started walking up the stairs.

I knew it was a building with at least five floors and Annette was still limping. Why did she want to walk up?

“Take the elevator.”

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

I guessed she didn’t like confined spaces. I didn’t want to wait until she limped up the five flights of stairs, so I put one arm around her waist, lifted her up and ran up the stairs with her, my instrument bag in the other hand.

She didn’t protest but I could see how she gave me a questioning look.

On the top floor she pointed to one of the doors and I let us into the flat. Carmela was in a poor state. I didn’t need to check her heart rate or blood pressure to know there was little time to act. Cutting out the capsule at this late a stage was useless and would only waste time. Time she didn’t have.

I took two vials out of the bag and started mixing them with the help of the syringe. While I did that I gave Annette instructions.

“Swab her arm with alcohol. It’s in the bag.”

She dug into the bag, following my instructions.

“I need a vein. Use the elastic band and wrap it around her biceps.”

I was impressed at how exact she followed my instructions, as if she had done it a hundred times.

The serum was in the syringe and I tapped at it to remove the air bubbles. Annette had prepared everything and it was easy to find a vein in Carmela’s arm. I inserted the needle and could see how Annette looked away. As soon as the needle was in I released the tourniquet.

I pushed the serum into Carmela’s arm, pulled the syringe out and was surprised to find that Annette was already handing me some gauze and a band aid.

“Thank you.”

I looked at her as she watched Carmela’s face. She was anxious. She knew what was coming. I nodded to her.

“You’ll have to hold her down when it starts.”

“Will you help me?” She looked into my eyes. I couldn’t refuse her anything. I only nodded, because I knew my voice would break and beg her to come back to me.

“And stay away from her teeth, otherwise she might bite you.”

Carmela started screaming. Jointly we held her down as the spasms ripped through her body.

Suddenly somebody banged at the door. I looked at Annette.

“Her roommate. I’ll get rid of her.” Annette jumped up and ripped the door open. I got a quick glimpse of a young woman in her pajamas before she pulled the door shut quickly.

I could hear their entire conversation. My ears were trained well.

“What is going on here?” Carmela’s roommate complained.

“I told you Carmela is sick, so go take a sleeping pill and wear ear plugs.” I could tell Annette had no patience left.

“Who are you to talk to me like that? I’ll complain to Carmela about you. I pay rent here, you know,” she rattled on.

“Oh, blow me!” Annette flipped.

The door opened and Annette came back in. It appeared my little angel had quite a temper too. Interesting.

Annette went back to help me hold down Carmela like nothing had happened. Carmela’s spasms were much more violent than when the same thing had happened to Annette. Virtually all of Entwhistle’s serum had released into Carmela’s bloodstream and the transformation process had started.

In contrast, Annette had only had a very small amount of serum in her bloodstream, and the reason hers had been so painful was because my antidote had killed off the morphine and extrapolated the pain in her leg.

Finally Carmela’s spasms subsided. I checked her vital signs. Elevated blood pressure, but it seemed to be coming down.

“I’ll cut out the remainder of the capsule,” I explained to Annette as I pulled back the blanket.

“Can you turn her a little, so that I can get to it?”

“Sure, I will.” She pulled Carmela toward her and held her still.

My hand was steady as I cut into her skin.

“Thank you, Vince.”

I didn’t look up because it was too hard to look into her eyes and keep my composure.

“Anytime,” was my solitary reply. I wanted to say: anything you want, I’ll do it, if you just come back to me. But of course, I couldn’t. She had come to me because her friend needed me, not because she did.

I extracted the remainder of the capsule and preserved it in a small plastic container which I placed back in my bag.

Annette helped me bandage Carmela’s incision site and I was careful not to touch her hands. I was afraid I would lose control if I did. My sprint up the stairs with my arm around her waist still sent shivers down my spine.

Nothing had changed for her. She still believed I had stolen Entwhistle’s research when in fact it was the reverse.

“What now?”

“Now we wait. We’ll know in a few hours.”

“Vince, did I bite you when this happened to me?” She suddenly asked.

I nodded.

“I’m so sorry.” She looked as if she was ashamed.

“It didn’t hurt.”

I would give anything to feel your mouth on my body, even if you bit me now.

Annette sat on one side of the bed and I sat on the other. We both watched Carmela. I could feel the tension between us.

“Why don’t you sleep a little? I’ll wake you when something changes.”

She shook her head.

“No, I should stay here. She might get scared when she wakes up.”

I wasn’t sure whether I should feel hurt or relieved about her comment. Did she think I was such a scary figure or did she just want to stay in the room with me? Neither made sense. She herself hadn’t been scared of me when she had woken up, and suddenly she was concerned about her ex-roommate? It looked like she had different standards for her friends than for herself.

“Up to you,” I said and shrugged my shoulders. My throat felt dry.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I was surprised at her perceptiveness.

“A glass of water would be good.”

My eyes followed her as she got up and left the room. She was back a short while later, handing me the glass. I gulped it down. I wanted to make conversation.

“Is her roommate going to give us any trouble?”

She shook her head. “No, not tonight anyway. She’ll complain to Carmela tomorrow and most likely move out.”

“Ah, just as well. Then I guess you can move in with Carmela again.”

I needed to know whether she was planning on staying in San Francisco.

“I’ll be leaving for Des Moines as soon as Carmela doesn’t need me anymore.”

Her words felt like a sword through my heart. I looked away and pretended to feel Carmela’s pulse so she couldn’t see the disappointment in my eyes. I was right. Nothing had changed for her. She still wanted to leave and I would never see her again.

“How’s the pulse?”

I had no idea. I hadn’t been listening to her pulse. It took me a few seconds to get a reading.

“Slowing down.”

The night dragged on. Carmela was still feverish and I gave her something to reduce it. I could tell Annette was getting tired. She leaned against the headboard and suddenly her eyes fell shut. I watched her while she slept. It reminded me of the first night she had slept in my bed and I had watched her sleep all night. The thought filled me with desire.

“Oh, I feel like crap.” Carmela’s voice suddenly pierced the silence.

Annette awoke instantly.

“Carmela, we were so worried about you.” Annette told her.

She looked back and forth between Annette and me trying to figure out what was going on. She recognized me.

“What are both of you doing here?”

I let Annette explain. “You got very sick,” she started. “I think you had a …” Annette didn’t know what to say.

“You had an allergic reaction. Annette told me you took part in a clinical trial yesterday. I suspect the injection they gave you didn’t agree with you.” I sugar-coated the truth. Only I knew how close she had come.

“Vince is downplaying this a little. I think he saved your life.”

I shot Annette a disapproving look. There was no need to tell her the whole truth and scare her. Carmela looked at me.

“Thanks, Vince. I appreciate it. I still feel like crap though, and I’m thirsty.”

Annette jumped up. “I’ll get you some water.”

My eyes followed her automatically as she dashed out of the room. As soon as Annette was out of earshot, Carmela sat up in bed.

“Are you going to ask her to come back to you?”

“Excuse me?” I felt I hadn’t heard right.

“Cut the crap. We don’t have time for that. I might be sick, but I’m not blind. So, are you?”

“It’s complicated.” I was stunned at how direct Carmela was.

She waved me off. “That’s original. That’s what she said too. She’s worth it.”

I knew she was, but it wasn’t up to me. She was the one who didn’t want me anymore.

I could hear her footsteps outside the door and seconds later she was back. I shot Carmela a warning look.

“Vince was just telling me that somebody should look after me for a few days,” Carmela told Annette as she took the water. She drank, then sat the glass down. “Do you think you could stay for a few days, please?”

Annette agreed immediately. “Of course. If you need me, I’ll stay.”

I gave Carmela a hidden smile. She had just bought me some time.

I took out my stethoscope.

“Let me listen to your heart.”

It sounded strong and had an even rhythm.

“Good.” I prepared to take her blood pressure. Annette watched me intently and I wondered what she was thinking of. I couldn’t interpret her expression.

“I think you’re over the worst, but as I said before, somebody should stay with you to keep an eye on things.”

“Thank you again. I didn’t know doctors still made house calls,” Carmela grinned.

“Well, we don’t normally, but sometimes there are extenuating circumstances.” I looked at Annette. She caught my look and almost instantly looked away as if she didn’t want to be reminded. In that instant I felt crushed. She couldn’t even stand looking at me anymore. I threw Carmela a doubtful look but she gave me no sign.

I got up. There was nothing more for me to do to justify staying any longer. I packed my instruments into my bag and closed it.

“Annette knows how to reach me, in case you get worse again.” I didn’t look at Annette. “And promise me, no more clinical trials, ok?”

“Sure thing,” Carmela answered, but I wasn’t sure if she meant the clinical trials or something else.

Annette walked me to the door.

“I don’t know how to thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me. I did what had to be done.”

I turned around and walked away. It seemed to take forever until I reached my car and threw myself into it. I barely noticed the early morning rush hour traffic on my way home. In the garage I kept sitting in the car staring into thin air.

Seeing her again had confirmed to me what I already knew: that I couldn’t be without her. I had to get her back.

17. Annette’s Decision

Francesca made a point of being noisy in the kitchen when she had realized I was sleeping on the couch and Carmela’s bedroom door was still shut. Payback time, I thought to myself and ignored her. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know she had woken me after I had only just fallen asleep.

If Carmela could hear her, she ignored her too. Neither one of us wanted to deal with her.

I fell back into an uneven slumber after I heard the loud thud with which she closed the entrance door. With a bit of luck she would be gone all day.

My dreams made no sense to me; they never did, so I tried to ignore those too. They were a mixture of reality, wishful thinking and irrelevant details. I could tell my mind was all mixed up.

Vince had saved Carmela’s life, I was sure of that, but did this also mean he was the good guy? Did one necessarily result in the other? If he had only stolen Entwhistle’s work two nights ago, how would he have had an antidote for it days earlier when he had used it on me?

Nothing made sense. Everything had been so clear before. I had been sure he was a thief and an imposter only the day before and suddenly I had doubts whether my assumptions had been right.

I awoke exhausted. I could hear Carmela tinkering in the kitchen. She shouldn’t be up, so I walked in to reprimand her. She made tea, but was still in her nightgown.

“Carmela, why didn’t you call me? I could have made you some tea …”

“Don’t be silly. I’m perfectly fine. Plus I heard you snoring …”

“I don’t snore,” I interrupted her.

“I meant, I saw you sleeping, so I didn’t want to wake you. You were up all night.” She was surprisingly considerate, which made me put my guard up. What did she want?

She poured two cups of tea, a sure sign she wanted to chat and made signs for me to sit at the kitchen table. She joined me handing me the steaming cup.

“What a lovesick puppy!”

I interrupted her immediately protesting loudly. “Hold on. I’m not a lovesick puppy!”

She gave me a sheepish grin. “Oh, I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about him,” she said way too casual for me to believe she hadn’t planned it this way.

“He’s not either,” I put her right.

“Really? I guess then you didn’t see the way he looked at you.”

I was sure she was making it up. “You were probably hallucinating.”

“Trust me, I know what hallucinating feels like, and that wasn’t it.” She referred to her occasional recreational drug use.

“Just drop it, Carmela.” I didn’t want to go over this with her again.

“Fine, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him.”

I shot her a furious look. How could she?

“Ah, now I have your attention! As you’ve just confirmed, you can’t stand the thought that another woman should have him, so I think you should work on getting him back.”

“It’s complicated.”

“That’s original,” was her sarcastic remark.

“What’s it to you anyway? Since when are you a matchmaker?”

“Since yesterday. Come on, don’t be so stubborn. What have you got to lose?”

“I just can’t. The things I said to him are inexcusable. How can I take them back? I called him a liar and much worse. Even if I went back, he’d just throw me out.”

“Well, he didn’t throw you out when you went to ask him for help for me.”

“That’s different. He’s a doctor; he can’t refuse to help people.”

“He could have called 9-1-1 for you. Face it, he did it, because you asked him to. I get the feeling he’ll do anything you ask him to. I’ve never seen a man so pussy-whipped.”

I was shocked.

“You are so crude!”

“I’m right though. It won’t take much to wrap him around your little finger.”

“But there are things about him which don’t make sense. He’s not what he seems.”

“Men aren’t perfect, accept it and get on with it.”

I wanted to give in, but I felt so ashamed about the things I had said to him. It would hurt even more if he slammed the door in my face. I couldn’t take that risk. What if he didn’t want me anymore?

As if Carmela could read my thoughts she said, “There’s only one way to find out for sure.”

I nodded, slowly, still unsure. “What am I going to say to him?”

Carmela laughed. “It doesn’t matter, because once I’m done with you, he won’t even hear what you’re saying. His eyes will keep his brain occupied, and before you know it he’ll be all over you.”

After I stepped out of the shower and saw Carmela rummage through her enormous closet pulling out outfit after outfit, I feared the worst.

“Please don’t make me look like a cheap hooker!”

“There’s nothing wrong with showing a little flesh,” she defended herself.

“It depends on how you define a little.”

She opened her underwear drawer. “I just bought some nice little thing I haven’t even worn yet.” She pulled out a bra and panties which barely had enough cloth between the two of them to act as a doily under a vase.

“I won’t need that,” I protested. She gave me a sharp look.

“You will. Don’t worry if he rips it to shreds. Just let him know later he can buy me a replacement. It’s from Victoria’s Secret.”

“You’re terrible!”

“No, I’m practical. Well, what are you waiting for, put ‘em on.” She handed me the silky threads. “Oh, yeah, and the bra opens in the front, in case he’s a little rusty.”

I knew he was. I remembered how he had told me when he had last kissed a woman and it had been almost a year according to my calculations.

“Carmela, I’m scared,” I said suddenly.

She looked at me. “It’s like riding a bike; you never really forget how to do it.”

I blushed. “Not about that; about him rejecting me.”

She smiled. “He won’t. Trust me.”

She handed me a slinky dress which I thought was way too short and thin. I stepped into it reluctantly.

“There it is. I was wondering what happened to it,” Carmela exclaimed as she pulled out some outfit from the back of her closet.

The outfit was hideous. The outrageous color combination of oranges, greens and blues didn’t detract from the awful pattern and overly broad collar. I stared at her in disgust.

“You are not honestly going to have me wear that?”

She laughed. “Of course not. It’s an original. I’ll wear it at the party on Saturday.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Monica is throwing a 70s party. You should come. It’s going to be fun dancing to seventies tunes, wearing outrageous clothes.”

A seventies party. I remembered the photos I had seen of Vince at a seventies party. Looking at Carmela I just couldn’t picture him as the guy who would go to a seventies party. It didn’t sound like him at all. It was Carmela’s kind of gig, not Vince’s.

Carmela seemed to have noticed that I had suddenly gone quiet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you imagine Vince at a seventies party?”

I could tell she found the question strange.

“Vince? In hideous flares and awful colors? No way. But if you want to bring him, I’m sure Monica won’t mind.”

I stared blankly into the room.

“Can I use your internet?” I heard myself ask Carmela.

“Sure, but don’t you want to get ready?” She seemed perplexed.

“Later,” I told her as I walked over to her computer and booted it up. It seemed to take forever until the screen came up and I was able to log into the internet. I typed in only two words: Vincent Mesaros.

The search came back with a long list of hits. I didn’t know where to start, so I started from the top.

The first was a newspaper article titled Promising researcher wins Young Investigator Award. The picture in the article was too grainy for me to recognize anybody. I looked at the date: March 1976. It had to be his father, I concluded after a short calculation in my head.

I went onto the next. It was a list of graduates from a high school in Boston. I found his name, but the date was in the sixties: again his father.  The third hit was a medical research paper and I skipped it. It was too much medical jargon I couldn’t understand.

Four more research articles later I started to get frustrated. It appeared as if Vince just didn’t exist. All I could find was information about his father.

The next search result was a newspaper articles from the San Francisco Chronicle. It looked promising – finally something local. The headline screamed Researcher disappears after lab burns out. A large photo of UCSF’s campus was shown. I scrolled further down to read what had happened.

The article reported that a laboratory at UCSF had burned down and all records had been destroyed and the researcher whose lab it was, had disappeared right after the fire. As I scrolled to the end of the page, there was another photo. It was undoubtedly Vince. The caption read Vincent Mesaros MD disappeared in the wake of the fire and has not been heard of since.

The article indicated that the cause of the fire was arson. What had he done and why? I scrolled back up to reread the article for any clues and froze when my eyes locked in on the date of the paper: October 12, 1978.

My heart stopped beating for an instant. I held my breath. How could it be? It had to be wrong. But I knew instinctively that it wasn’t.

Class of ’71. Suddenly the graduation diploma from medical school flashed back into my mind. It was his, not his father’s. The photos weren’t photos of a Seventies party, but of a party in the Seventies.

I went back to the research papers and read through them, understanding less than ten percent. However, the little I did understand was what his research was about: aging, or how to turn off the gene which controlled aging. There was no doubt now that he had told me the truth about one thing: the research was his, not Entwhistle’s.

I went back to the graduation records of the Boston high school and calculated. He was sixty-three or sixty-four. I had passionately kissed a man who was ready to collect his Social Security check!

I gasped. I desperately needed some air. I was glad Carmela had decided to take a shower while I was busy on her computer.

I had been ready to jump into bed with a man forty years my senior! In fact, I had tried to seduce him at every turn.

I knew from the few things Vince had told me about his lab mice, that he had found the switch as he had called it. He had to have found it back in seventy-eight just when he had disappeared.

The whole setup of his home now made sense: no windows, elaborate security, the lab downstairs. The lab: I remembered the mouse he had euthanized and what he had explained about the side effects, but wondered whether he had told me the full story about those effects. I guessed he hadn’t. There was more to the side effects than he would let on.

A heightening of the senses: did this mean he felt my kisses much more intensely than somebody else would? Was that why he had tried to take things slow? I didn’t see what was so bad about those side effects.

I switched off the computer just as Carmela came back into the room.

“You look a little pale. Maybe you should wear some makeup,” she suggested as she looked at me.

“Yes,” I said as if on autopilot, and got up. My legs buckled and I had to hold on to the foot of the bed, so I wouldn’t collapse.

Carmela rushed toward me to support me. She helped me onto her bed.

“You haven’t eaten, have you?”

I shook my head.

“I’ll make you some soup.”

I wanted to protest. “No, you’re not supposed to be the one looking after me. I’m supposed to help you.”

“I’m perfectly fine, thanks to your boyfriend. So, just lie down for a minute.”

She got up and seconds later I heard her in the kitchen.

It hit me like a ton of bricks: I was in love with a man in his sixties. All of a sudden a terrible thought struck me: what if the reason why he didn’t want to have sex with me was because he couldn’t? What if he was too old for it?

After I had had some food in my stomach, I looked at Carmela.

“Do you think age matters?”

She wasn’t quite sure what I meant. “In guys, you mean, or do you mean age difference?”

“Both.”

“Sure, it matters. Frankly I wouldn’t want to date an eighteen year old virgin – too much work!” She claimed. “Mind you, they are very grateful come to think of it.” Her eyes suddenly looked as if she was somewhere very far in the distance.

I could see she was clearly speaking from personal experience.

“How about the older ones?”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t touch anything over thirty-five. Too much baggage.”

That didn’t sound very encouraging.

“How old do you think Vince is?”

“Early, mid thirties, I’d say. Good body, if you haven’t already noticed.”

I blushed. I had noticed the first day when I had seen him come out of the shower clad only in a towel. What did it matter that he was in his sixties, when his body looked and felt like he was in his thirties?

“So, what are you waiting for?”

She was right. What was I waiting for? I could only get the answer to my questions one way.

18. Vince’s Transformation

I had made up my mind. Standing in the shower, I went through my plan again. I would show up at the flat with a dozen red roses and ask her to give me a chance to explain. I would take her to a public place so she would feel safe. And then I would tell her the truth about me, all of it without leaving anything out.

It was the only way. And if she was still sitting opposite of me when I was done with my story, if she hadn’t run off yet, then I would tell her I couldn’t live without her, and that I wanted her to love me the way I loved her.

I was nervous and completely unsure about how she would react.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off. As I looked into the mirror, I hoped she would be able to love me. I still had the body of a thirty-three year old and my mind had never aged. My true age meant nothing.

But I was less worried about my age than the wild animal inside of me. How could she ever see past that and not live in constant fear of me?

A knock at the front door pulled me out of my thoughts. Nobody ever knocked at my door. I ran to the security monitor and saw her. I was about to storm downstairs when I realized I was still naked.

I rushed into my closet and jumped into a pair of shorts, not bothering with underwear. Seconds later I opened the door.

She looked beautiful. Her hair had a wonderful shine to it and the light breeze outside blew it into different directions. She wore a short summer dress which revealed more than it concealed. I guessed she wasn’t here to pick up her suitcases, not looking like that.

In my mind I made a note to myself to get Carmela a present, since I was petty sure she had a hand in this. I couldn’t stop staring at her. All I could think of was how beautiful she looked and that I wanted to kiss her.

“Aren’t you going to ask me in?”

I stepped aside. “Please.”

She brushed past me and started walking up the stairs. I noticed she still wore her bandage around her leg and supported herself on the railing.

I shut the door and followed her, shamelessly taking in the view from my vantage point as she walked up the stairs ahead of me. Her legs were slim and strong and her hips shifted from side to side with each step. I could feel myself getting aroused just looking at her legs. I was close enough to touch her, to run my hand up the inside of her legs. I was in dangerous territory. I wasn’t sure how far I would get with telling her my story if I continued looking at her.

She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs. She looked at me as I stood a few yards away from her.

“Can I get you anything?”

She nodded and I headed for the kitchen.

“Yes, an explanation.”

I stopped in my tracks and turned back to her. Obviously she had decided not to waste time with small talk and pleasantries. Well, at least it meant she would give me a chance to explain myself.

I sat down in the armchair furthest from her. I had rehearsed my speech, but now I wasn’t sure whether it was the right way to start.

“Annette, what I’m going to tell you is the truth, however incredible it may sound. And I want you to know I’ll never do anything to hurt you.” I paused. I couldn’t stall any longer.

“I was born in 1945 …” I started, but she waved me off instantly.

“I’ve figured that out. What I want to know is why you torched your lab at UCSF.”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I jumped up, but she didn’t flinch.

“You know? But - but how?” I stared at her.

“You’re not the only one with a college education,” she shot back. “And mine is a little bit more recent than yours if I might add.”

She was incredible. I tried to find any sign in her face that she was disgusted with me, but I detected none. “How much do you know?”

“Most of it, but feel free to fill in the blanks.”

“And you came back nevertheless?” She knew my true age, and still she sat on my couch, where I had kissed her passionately, where I had caressed her breasts, as if sitting there was the most natural thing in the world.

“I need some answers, Vince.”

“Anything you want to know.”

“Why did you set fire to the lab? Why destroy everything you’ve worked for?”

I realized then that she didn’t know everything, that the most important thing about me was still a mystery to her.

“Annette, this is going to be difficult for you to hear, but …” I didn’t know how to say it. I started again. “I had to destroy everything so nobody would make the same mistake I did. Yes, I’ve found the fountain of youth, and yes, I’ve stopped aging, but at what a price.”

I looked at her. Her eyes were fixed at me. She wanted to know everything, whether it was good or bad.

“Do you remember the mouse I euthanized?”

She nodded.

“Then you know my research has flaws. I’m not myself anymore. When my emotions overpower me, I lose control and take on the characteristics of a wild animal.”

I watched her intently as I spoke the words. There was a flicker in her eyes.

Her voice was quiet when she spoke. “What animal, Vince?”

What did it matter? She held my gaze. I knew she needed an answer.

“A mountain lion.”

Her mouth fell open and I could feel she held her breath.

She got up, slowly. I had lost her. She wanted to leave. I wanted to scream, but I didn’t. I had to let her go. I owed her that much. I had had my chance. It wasn’t meant to be.

Slowly she walked away from the couch. But what was she doing? Instead of heading for the stairs, she stopped in front of me and looked up. Now it was I who couldn’t breathe.

“It was you.” Her voice sounded incredulous. “You were the creature who saved me.”

I nodded. There were no more secrets.

Did she really raise her hand and caress my cheek? Did she trace my lips with her fingers? I didn’t dare move. I looked into her eyes and I saw no fear, no disgust.

“Then I only have one more question.” She swallowed hard.

I wondered what else there was. She knew I was a wild beast inside and as incredible as it was she accepted it and didn’t run away screaming. Did she not realize the danger she was in?

“Did you not want to have sex with me because you can’t?” She emphasized can’t in a way which made it absolutely clear to me what she was referring to. But just in case I didn’t get it, she qualified. “I mean, has your sex drive sort of died because you’re over sixty?”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

“There’s nothing wrong with my sex drive.”

“Can you prove that?”

I knew I could. As soon as I had put my arms around her waist and felt her breasts crushed against my naked chest, I could feel myself get rock-hard.

“You want proof?” I pressed her hips against mine. I knew she could feel me through her thin dress. Her eyes lit up as I rubbed my erect cock against her.

“Take me to bed, Vince.”

“I can’t.”

“I know you can.” She placed her hand over the bulge under my pants, and her warmth started flooding through me. I could barely think straight.

“Aren’t you afraid of what’ll happen when I turn into the beast? I’ve never transformed in a state of arousal. I have no idea how bad it’ll get.”

I was worried about her safety. But she shook her head.

“You didn’t hurt me that night when you saved me. Why would you hurt me now?”

“Please, let’s not do this now. Let’s take it slow. We have to be prepared for what’s going to happen,” I pleaded with her.

“I’m prepared.”

“No! Don’t you understand? I can’t control the animal in me. I could hurt you or worse. I’m so strong in my animal form. You saw my claws. Don’t you realize what they will do to you?”

“Fine!” She said and I knew that word. It wasn’t a good sign.  She pulled away from me and put her hands behind her back. I realized too late that she opened the zipper of her dress.

“Carmela thought I might need this.”

As soon as she dropped the dress to the floor, I knew what she meant. She stood in front of me with only a bra and panties which left barely anything to my imagination.  There wasn’t even enough fabric between the two pieces to cover the palm of my hand. She took one step toward me.

“You don’t fight fair,” I accused her while I couldn’t tear my eyes away for her body, already imagining the things I would do with her.

“In love and war …” she started, but I ripped her into my arms and covered her mouth with my hungry lips. As soon as I came up for air, I warned her.

“I hope you really want to do this, because once I have you in that bed, don’t think you can ever escape me again.”

“Is that a promise?”

I lifted her up effortlessly and together we sank into my bed, facing each other. Her body was warm and soft as she pressed herself against me. Every fiber of my body yearned to be merged with hers. My skin was tingling and burning at the same time. I smothered her lips with my mouth and let my hands touch her naked skin. I caressed her neck letting my thumb stroke the soft dent at the base of her throat. My other hand felt the dimples on her lower back and reached for her firm cheeks. Her skin was smooth and warm. I felt her hands on my chest eagerly exploring my body. Her hot hands aroused me. She surprised me when she let one hand slip into the back of my pants and touched my naked skin. I hadn’t thought her to be that bold. No woman had touched me in over thirty years which made each and every sensation even more intense.

With her other hand she suddenly went to the front of her bra and opened it. Her beautiful breasts fell into my waiting hands like ripe fruit. I remembered their sweet taste and knew I had to taste them again. I let my lips brush against her nipples, let my tongue circle them and then sucked at them tenderly. She moaned under my kiss and her breasts thrust toward me telling me she wanted more. I complied with her wish and kissed them more passionately turning her nipples harder under my touch. I pressed her into the mattress and covered her with my body.

Her skin was even softer than I remembered. I could feel one of her legs wrap itself around my hip as she pulled me closer to her. I knew what she wanted, but I wasn’t ready to give in to her yet. I wanted to savor the moment and not rush it, because I knew once I was inside of her, I wouldn’t last long. I hadn’t been with a woman in so long, and I had never been with one as beautiful and passionate as she was. I was sure I would lose all self-control as soon as I felt myself inside of her.

I wanted to explore her body longer. I wanted to rip her panties off, but restrained myself and let my hand slide inside them instead. She released a quiet moan as my fingers felt her warmth and moisture. Touching her this intimately sent a bolt of fire through my belly. She was waiting for me. Her body was inviting and willing.

I went back to kiss her lips, but kept my hand inside her panties and continued touching her. When I finally could wait any longer and let my finger slide inside of her, I knew what would await me. She breathed in when she felt my finger and suddenly held my hand to keep it here urging me not to move. She was enjoying the moment just as much as I was.

All of a sudden her other hand opened my shorts. I wanted to stop her, but she had already found what she was looking for. She touched my aroused cock. I could no longer resist her touch and grew even harder when she tried to wrap her tiny hand around me. Her touch was perfect. When she felt the drops of moisture oozing from the tip of my erection, her fingers caught them and spread them around my rock hard shaft making her hand slide around me smoothly. The sensation was unbearably intense and a low growl escaped my lips.

I knew what she wanted and I could feel she didn’t want to wait any longer and neither could I. My hand played with the warm and moist folds beneath her triangle of dark curly hair. As soon as I touched her most erogenous spot she released a sigh. I inched down her tiny panties taking my time to undress her completely. The way her body moved excited me to no end. She pulled my shorts down not wanting anything between us. Nothing could stop me now. I looked into her eyes as I lowered myself onto her. A wave of heat hit me as I penetrated her. A soft moan escaped her lips before I kissed her with a passion I had never felt before.

I carefully and slowly pushed into her. The sensation of her muscles tightening around me was more than I could bear. Being merged with her body and feeling her eager hands on my skin made me forget almost everything, except the fact that I could feel how the beast inside of me wanted out. My body started its convulsions. I had to hold it back. I tried to think of something else, but all I could think about was Annette and her willing body.

“You have to stop controlling it,” I suddenly heard her say.

“No, no. I can’t.” I felt how the animal tried to take over and knew I had to push it back, fight it. I pulled away from her and jumped up from the bed. I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t make love to her. It was too dangerous for her.

“Don’t you dare run away from me now,” she said in no uncertain terms.

I looked at her. She was furious as she got up and quickly approached me.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” There it was again, her temper. She stood right in front of me now and looked up at me.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t go through with it. I’m going to hurt you. Please don’t make me do this. You’ll hate me for it later.” I tried to calm her down.

She wouldn’t have any of it. With her tiny hands she pushed me back toward the bed. I tried to back away from her so she wouldn’t come too close to me, because I knew I was still rock hard and if she came only half an inch closer I would involuntarily brush against her body with my erection. I was worried it would make me go over the edge.

“Annette, please stop! It’s for your own good.”

“No! I want you, and I want you now.” She pushed me against the foot of the bed, and even though I was much stronger than she was, I didn’t dare use my force against her for fear of hurting her.

She gave me a gentle push and I lost my balance and landed on my back. A second later she was on top of me, straddling me.

“Please don’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you.” I could feel how my willpower was eroding as she lowered herself onto me.

“Shh.” She placed her finger onto my lips to stop me from talking. “Relax. Everything will be alright.”

My two halves started battling inside of me as soon as she guided me back into her warm and moist body. As I felt her muscles tighten around me I knew which side had lost. This time I wouldn’t be able to stop.

I felt my body harden and my breath quickening. There was no stopping my transformation now. I saw my hands on her hips turn into claws. My jaw widened and my tongue felt razor-sharp teeth protruding. My shoulders and neck became more muscular, stronger and harder. I knew my eyes had turned amber and glowed.

I had never transformed in a state of arousal and had been completely unprepared for it, but I could feel instantly how I grew larger inside of her. There was no doubt about it. I knew I would hurt her, but the beast inside me had already taken over.

With one swift move I threw her off me so she landed next to me face down. I saw her surprise in her face, but there was no fear in her eyes. I jumped behind her. Instinctively she pulled herself up onto all fours. The sight of her offering herself to me like this awakened my most primal need. The only thought which consumed me like no other was to mate with her the way an animal would. Nothing else mattered. I seized her hips and pulled them into my loins realizing my claws dug into her skin, but I couldn’t stop. I growled loudly and the sound came deep from within me. My growl announced that I claimed her for me.

She lowered her head into the pillow and lifted her firm behind toward me. She accepted my claim and surrendered. Her beautiful cheeks invited me to rub myself against her.

“Take me!” Her voice sounded hoarse.

My erection had grown both in length and in girth and needed to be relieved. The beast in me was impatient and demanded satisfaction. I couldn’t wait any longer and needed to be inside of her. I saw how my rock hard shaft disappeared in her warm and moist body inch by inch, as I drove deeper into her. Her gasps told me how intense the feeling was for her.

“Oh, God!” she sighed. “You wanted to deprive me of this?”

Emboldened by her remark I thrust into her again, this time harder and deeper. With the next thrust the animal took over completely. I started pounding into her greedily. She didn’t stop me. She wanted more and more, and I gave her everything I had.

I know I’m hurting you, but I can’t stop.

I suddenly heard a voice in my head. No! It wasn’t my voice. Whose was it? No, you’re not hurting me. Continue, please!

Annette?

Yes, Vince. It’s me, she replied, still in my head.

I’m hurting you.

No, I’m made for this. I’m made for you, she assured me.

Her voice in my head seemed to appease the beast in me and I suddenly felt how I was able to move inside of her with less violence. As I moved inside her body in slow motion and with the tenderness I knew she deserved, I tried to hold on as long as possible, but she felt too good in my arms, too sexy, too enticing. I couldn’t control myself any longer. I exploded inside of her spreading my seed.

I didn’t want to leave her body even when we collapsed into the sheets and I rolled us both to the side spooning her. As I relaxed I felt my body transform back. My claws finally turned back into hands again. Fearfully I looked at her hips knowing my claws had grabbed her violently. I could see the red marks on her pale skin.

“Oh God, I hurt you!” I was devastated. I turned her in my arms. “I’m so sorry, I should have never let myself go.” Instead of looking into a pain-stricken face, I saw her content smile.

“You didn’t hurt me,” she said in her soft voice.

“But the claw marks.” I pointed to her hips.

She looked at them. “What claw marks?”

I looked again. “These.” The claw marks which had been so prominent and so red only seconds earlier faded away in front of my eyes and magically her skin became pale and flawless again.

She smiled at me. “See, you can’t hurt me.”

“How?” I still couldn’t believe what I had seen. How could those claw marks just disappear? It was impossible.

“I felt it when I could hear you in my head. An animal doesn’t hurt its whisperer, didn’t you know that?”

I gave her an incredulous look. Had I found the one person in this world who could tame the beast inside of me? I had felt as much when she had been in my head. The beast inside of me had suddenly become less violent and easier to control.

“I love you,” I said.

“I know. I’ve felt your heart.”

I kissed the luscious lips of my whisperer like never before.

19. Annette’s Confession

His arms held me close. While his body had transformed back, his eyes still had a faint glow of amber and I knew the animal still lurked inside ready to come back. He had guessed right a few days earlier when he had thought I might be an animal whisperer. I could hear his thoughts when he was in his animal state and he could hear me. Whether I would be able to hear other animals, I didn’t know, but I knew how to handle the beast in him. It was all that mattered.

“Annette,” he murmured while his lips covered my neck with kisses. “I haven’t been with a woman in over thirty years, so I don’t have too much to compare this to, but I’ve never felt happier in my life than with you in my arms.”

He lifted his head and looked at me.

“I meant it when I said that I wouldn’t let you leave.”

I smiled at him. “You’d better!” It was what I had hoped for.

“I’m sorry about the earlier interruption. Thank you for believing in me.”

“Sorry for being so pushy.” I wasn’t sorry at all.

He nudged me with his head. “I think I can do better the second time.”

By the sound of his voice I could tell he spoke of the imminent future. I gave him a surprised look.

“Right now?”

He nodded. Then he gave me a smirk.

“I forgot to mention, but because of the animal in me, I regenerate a lot faster. It only takes me a minute or two to get my full strength back, and while I haven’t been able to try this out when it comes to sex, I’m pretty sure I’m back at my full potential.” His eyes looked down and as I followed his look I saw his fully erect cock.

I stared at him in disbelief. “You could have mentioned it before.” I feigned annoyance.

“Well, I did tell you there was nothing wrong with my sex drive.”

“And from that you thought I could figure it out?” I laughed.

“Sure, you’re a smart woman.”

Suddenly I could feel his hands stoke my body. His head wandered to my breasts and his lips started caressing me. His tongue felt hot on my nipples. His mouth locked around them and I felt him suck gently. His hands squeezed my breasts so softly, so gently I could barely believe he was the same man who had just made love to me with such urgency and passion.

I let my hands run down his back, but he stopped me.

“Oh no, my little angel. If you start doing that, I’m just going to lose it again really quickly. So keep those hands to yourself,” he ordered. “For now,” he qualified just a second later.

He had called me his little angel. I liked it.

“You mean I can’t touch you?”

He looked up and smiled. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to not just take you like a wild animal?”

I moved my leg to place my foot onto his erection and found exactly how hard he was.

“Oh, I know.” I smirked.

He got hold of my foot and thus stopped me from stroking his aroused cock.

“How about a cold shower for you?” he suddenly threatened.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Wouldn’t I?” He grinned and before I knew it he scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bathroom.

He gently sat me on my feet in the shower but kept holding me, while he switched on the water. There was no escape. To my surprise the water wasn’t ice cold like he had threatened, but comfortably warm. I looked up at him as he gave me a broad grin.

“You’re impossible,” I said.

“So are you.”

He lowered his head and started kissing me, first soft and gentle then he became more urgent and demanding. As I let my hands run up and down his gorgeous naked body, I felt how he suddenly pressed me against the tile wall of the shower and lifted me onto the ledge.

He lifted one of my legs to wrap around his hip, and pressed his body against me. He was as hard as a steel rod when he plunged into me, taking my breath away. I gasped loudly.

“Oh, Vince!”

His smile showed more than just satisfaction. It was almost as if he was proud, proud to elicit this reaction from me, proud that I was his.

His transformation was almost instantaneous. As soon as I saw the first flicker of amber in his eyes, I could already feel him grow inside of me.

As he rocked back and forth creating the most intense emotions within me I had ever felt, I realized he had stopped caressing me with his hands. I looked at them.

He tried to avoid touching me with his claws afraid he would leave claw marks on my skin again. While still supporting me with one arm, he had rested the other on the tile wall. I could hear his thoughts.

Don’t hurt her, they were telling me.

You can’t hurt me. Believe me, I responded.

I pried his claw hand from the wall and guided it to my mouth. With my lips I kissed every individual digit letting my tongue slide over the sharp edges. I knew he wanted to pull it back, but was too afraid a fast movement would hurt my lips.

As I took each individual claw into my mouth one by one, I could feel how he had stopped moving inside of me. Instead he stared at me in disbelief. Then I noticed how his claws suddenly retreated and turned back into fingers. Had he already transformed back?

I stared at him, but his eyes were still glowing amber, and he was still inside of me, rock-hard and huge.

“How did you do that?” He whispered breathlessly and kissed my lips tenderly despite his sharp teeth.

“I don’t know.” I couldn’t explain how I was able to initiate a partial transformation in him.

I let his hand go and he immediately started caressing my breasts. His gentle fingers played with my nipples.

“I love touching you.”

I could feel his movements become more demanding, as I felt how he wanted to get deeper and deeper into me. But this time his movements were slower, more sensual and more deliberate than when we had been in bed. He was exploring my body and he was taking his time enjoying every moment. The pictures his mind allowed me to see heightened my excitement. I felt what he felt. I realized what he wanted to do even before his hand found my most sensitive spot and started forming circles around it. The anticipation alone excited me and I twisted and flexed under his touch. As a moan of pleasure escaped my mouth, I saw him smile.

You’re mine. No other man will ever touch you again.

His thoughts were crystal clear to me: I was his mate for life.

He continued moving his fingers back and forth in a smooth and gentle motion. There was no need to tell him how I wanted him to touch me. He knew as if I had shown him.

Don’t stop! I told him.

How can I?  I want this as much as you do. I heard his voice in my head. You excite me.

My breathing became uneven and I was close to ecstasy. He stopped moving exactly at the point when my body erupted in spasms, and right as the last wave washed over me he moved again and flooded me with his warmth as he came.

I knew one day soon I would have to talk to him about birth control. Since I had only just had my period I couldn’t conceive right now, but if we were carrying on like this I would be pregnant within a couple of weeks. And I wasn’t ready for that yet. I wanted to be alone with him for a long time first.

We collapsed onto the shower floor, the water still drizzling onto us. I couldn’t get up. My legs were shaking. I was stretched out over his chest which pumped air heavily.

“Just give me a minute or two,” he echoed.

I shook my head. “I think you’ve proven your point. There’s nothing wrong with your sex drive.”

He laughed a throaty laugh. “I wasn’t out to prove a point. I’m just out to still my hunger for you. I have a lot of catching up to do.”

It felt good to hear that.

“And don’t worry, I’ll get you some contraceptives.” He suddenly said.

I had completely forgotten that I had formed my thoughts about birth control while he was still in his animal state.

I laughed. “I guess I’m going to have to be careful about what I think.”

He smiled. “Don’t. Being able to hear you makes me a better lover.” He paused and kissed me.

“Vince?”

“Yes?”

“Tell me about the animal.”

He lifted his head to look at me. “The animal inside me? I don’t know what I can tell you about it. You seem to know it better than I do. Even though I’ve dealt with it for the last thirty years, I’ve never been able to do what you do – appease it.”

“Do you know why it is there?”

“I have my theories, but I don’t think I’ll ever know for sure. There are beliefs in the Native American societies that point to it being my power animal which protects and guides me, but I don’t really believe in a lot of this hocus pocus.”

“I think you do. You seem to believe that I’m an animal whisperer, therefore your theory about the power animal can’t be too much of a stretch for your imagination anymore,” I reasoned.

He smiled. “You’ve made me believe in a lot of things again, you know that?”

My stomach growled unexpectedly. He heard it and immediately changed the subject.

“So, how about dinner?”

“Not if it involves you getting dressed.”

“Very funny, my little angel, but I don’t think there’s a nude restaurant anywhere in the City, despite this being San Francisco.”

“We could stay in.”

“What if I promise you that you can undress me as soon as we get home?”

I thought about it for a moment and found it acceptable.

“And one other favor please. Could you please wear something a little less revealing than that dress, so I can make it through dinner without ripping your clothes off and throwing you onto the dinner table?”

“It was Carmela’s idea,” I confessed.

“I figured that much. Nice friend you have, letting you walk into the lion’s den looking like the most delicious meal ever. You nearly gave me a heart attack,” he exaggerated.

Suddenly a terrible thought crossed my mind. “You’re not going to have a heart attack or something like that. I mean because of your real age?”

He pulled my head closer to his so he could look into my eyes.

“My heart is doing as well as my sex drive, so you have nothing to worry about.”

His lips locked onto mine and I could feel passion building up in him. As I let my lips part I felt his tongue slide inside and play with mine. His kiss felt like he never wanted to stop, but when I let my hand slide down his stomach he stopped me immediately.

“I think we should go to dinner before you get any other ideas,” he smirked. “And we need to get you a dry bandage.”

I had completely forgotten about my leg. I looked down at myself and realized the bandages were hanging off my leg, wet and mangled.

After he had done his medical duty and bandaged my leg nicely, I complied with his wish and wore something casual.

I watched him get dressed and remembered the first time I had seen him come out of the shower dressed only in a towel. Everything I had hoped for then had come true. His body was perfect. His kisses were tender and passionate, his touch was tender, yet hungry. And he always knew what I wanted.

The one thing which was the biggest surprise for me was his transformation. There was a wild beauty about him when he was in his animal state and feeling his raw power and strength was what launched me into a state of ecstasy I had never known before.

Arm in arm we walked to a small restaurant tucked away on a side street away from the noise of North Beach. Walking with his arm around me made me even more aware of how tall he was and how muscular his body was.

A generous tip to the hostess secured us a table in the corner of the restaurant. I was sure he could have achieved the same by just smiling at her with his charming smile and she would have melted.

We sat down in the corner at an angle to each other, rather than opposite of each other. It was more intimate and we could touch without reaching over the table. He leaned to my side and kissed my neck.

“You look absolutely radiant,”

I smiled. “That’s because I’ve just made love to an extremely sexy man.”

He smiled back. “If that’s all it takes …”

I could feel his hand resting on my lower back. I let my hand glide onto his thigh. I could feel him drawing in his breath very slowly, but he didn’t remove my hand.

“You’ll get used to it,” I assured him.

“I don’t think I want to get used to it. You excite me. I don’t want to lose that.”

The waiter interrupted us. We hadn’t even looked at the menus yet.

“Do you want to have a look at the menu, angel?”

I didn’t really know what I wanted and I didn’t really care, so I let Vince order for us. I knew he would order steak for himself, and I was right. He had ordered me a mixed grill and a large salad.

“Eat. You’ll need your strength.” He winked at me. “I wasn’t sure what your favorite meat is …” he said and pointed at the various pieces on my plate.

I looked into his eyes. “Mountain lion.”

He grinned. I had never seen him in such a good mood, and so relaxed. “That’s dessert, but only if you eat up.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice.

“How’s Carmela feeling?” He suddenly inquired.

“She’s doing great, thanks to you. And I don’t know what you said to her, but she really did some PR for you. She threatened she’d take you if I didn’t.”

He chuckled, then turned serious again. “I only wanted you. I could have gone another thirty years without a woman if you hadn’t come back.”

“Does that mean you wouldn’t have come after me if I hadn’t turned up at your doorstep?”

His hand stroked my cheek. “Of course I would have. I was just getting ready to go and see you, to beg, grovel, fall on my knees, whatever it would take,” he confessed and looking at his green eyes I knew it was the truth. “You just beat me to it.”

I felt how he put his hand on my lower back, but instead of resting it there this time he let it slip underneath my t-shirt. His hand caressed my naked skin and sent shivers down my spine. He bent to my side and kissed my neck again, while I could feel his hand slide around me to the front of my body reaching my breast. I stared at him.

“They’ll never let us come back here if you don’t behave.”

He grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll tip well.”

Suddenly his hand froze and his grin was wiped off his face. He turned me fully toward him, and looked into my eyes. His expression was serious.

“We have to leave, now.”

I didn’t dare ask why, I just knew something was wrong. I had noticed a group of people enter the restaurant from the corner of my eye but had not taken any particular notice. Vince threw a wad of cash onto the table, more than enough for the food and a good tip.

“As soon as I’ll tell you, you’ll need to get up. Don’t look anywhere, just go out straight as soon as I tell you to. I’ll see you outside.”

I nodded. A few seconds passed. Then he gave me the signal.

“Now!”

I walked through to the front of the restaurant, passed the empty hostess table and went outside without looking left or right. Seconds later Vince came out behind me and whisked me to the next alley. He put me down on my feet and held me close to his chest.

“Vince, what’s wrong?”

“Entwhistle and a bunch of his colleagues came in. I’m sure he didn’t see us. That was close.”

I tried to calm him down. “I don’t think he would even recognize me.”

Vince gave me a long look. “Annette, he’ll recognize me. He’ll expose me.”

My mind started working overtime. “But he doesn’t know you, does he?”

“His father-in-law was my lab manager back in the seventies, that’s who stole my research papers. He would know the whole story, he would have seen photos, he would recognize me instantly. He can’t know that I’m alive, that I’m here. He’ll use it to get what he wants.”

Vince’s voice was agitated and I was scared, scared because I had bad news for him.

“He already knows.”

“What?”

“I saw him and his wife at Golden Gate Park on Sunday.”

“On Sunday, but I was with you all …” It clicked. “He saw us together.”

There was shock in Vince’s face. I could see his mind clicking.

“We have to go home. I need to think.”

Without hesitation he scooped me up into his arms and started running through the deserted side streets. Within a couple of minutes we were at his front door. He let us in and I could see how carefully he locked behind us. Upstairs he went to his surveillance monitors. I could see how tense he was.

“Please don’t be angry with me,” I begged him.

He looked at me and opened up his arms. I ran to him and he held me tight.

“You couldn’t know. It’s my fault. I should have told you everything from the beginning.”

He kissed my forehead and continued scanning the security footage. After what felt like an eternity, he turned away from the screen.

“I don’t think he’s found me yet.”

Vince led me to the couch and we sat down. He wrapped his arms around me as if to protect me, and I leaned against him.

20. Vince’s Plan

I leaned into one corner of the couch and spread my legs to she could sit right in between them. Her back leaned into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. I wanted her close. She let her arms rest on my thighs, and I could feel my skin tingle underneath the fabric of my pants.

She knew I needed to talk, and I knew it would help me get everything straight in my mind, and hopefully help me formulate a plan.

“Jeffrey Rosenschmid was my lab manager back in ’78. He was ambitious, but not bright enough to amount to anything on his own. He often took credit for other people’s work. I didn’t like that and realized I’d made a mistake in hiring him.

“You never worked for the University, but let me tell you, the bureaucracy I had to deal with to let him go was endless. I never knew how mad he must have been at me. He was the one who copied all my research papers before he left. He had a wife and a daughter, and I’ll never know what he was really planning to do with the information.

“He himself didn’t have the brains to make the work his own. Maybe he wanted to sell it to somebody back then, but a month later I burned down the lab and went into hiding. Maybe that’s what gave him the idea to hold on to the information and pass it on to his daughter. I found out she went to medical school, but she never graduated. I guess he thought he got a lucky break when she married a doctor. If his daughter couldn’t claim the research as her own, maybe his son-in-law would. It would mean prestige and money for his family, something he couldn’t achieve on his own.

“There was only one problem: Jeffrey didn’t know what the fatal flaw of my research was. He left a month before the side effects started showing in me, and the papers he copied never made a mention of them. Jeffrey couldn’t have known.”

I could feel Annette was listening intently. She put her hand on mine and squeezed it gently. She wanted me to go on.

“There were rumors after my disappearance that I had jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. For all intents and purposes, I was dead. I guess Jeffrey must have believed it. I did act very erratic in the months before the fire and people around me probably thought I was losing it. I’m glad you didn’t know me back then. I wasn’t an easy person to get along with. I made a lot of enemies. I was too ambitious and self-centered.

“In the first years after my transformation I never went outside during the daytime. I took on a new identity for the few things I needed. My cousin Victor had died as a child and I used his social security number and birth certificate to establish accounts.”

“I’ve noticed you always pay cash,” she suddenly said.

“Very perceptive. Yes, I try to leave as little a trace as possible, even with Victor’s identity. My parents left me a large inheritance when they died and it allowed me to live this way.”

“Did they know?”

I shook my head. “They died in a car crash the same year it all happened to me. It was a blessing for them. In the first years I could barely control the animal inside of me. If they’d seen me like that, it would have killed them, especially my mother.”

Thinking of her after all these years made me sad. I wished she could have been alive, so I could bring my little angel home to her and tell her I had found the woman I wanted to marry.

Annette had noticed that I had gone quiet. She turned her head and moved her mouth closer. I kissed her and for a few seconds I lost myself in her. But I had to continue, and she settled back into my chest.

“Nothing here can be traced back to me. The building is owned by a trust in Victor’s name, so is the car. All the bills are in the trust’s name. Nobody knows I still exist. I still leave the house very rarely, especially during daytime. There are still people alive who might recognize me, even after thirty years, even though the chances are getting slimmer every year. It was extremely bad luck that Entwhistle saw me, and even worse that he saw us together.”

“But what difference would it make that he saw me with you?”

“See, if he’d only seen me, it meant I was alive but probably oblivious to what he was doing. But when he saw me with you, he must have realized that either I already knew what he’d done to you or would find out shortly. It means, he knows I know. He knows I’ll come after him. You remember the interview you saw with him?”

Of course, she did. I had almost lost her because of it. As if to tell me that everything was ok, she wrapped her arms around mine and squeezed me.

“When I first saw the interview a while ago, I knew what his research was about, but I didn’t know at the time he had stolen it from me. You see, anybody can research anything they want to, so sooner or later somebody would try to find the fountain of youth, just as I did. So, going public with the revelation he’d found the gene was not a problem. Even if he wasn’t sure whether I was dead or not, there was no risk for him. I wouldn’t be able to prove he’d stolen all the data from me, or rather that his father-in-law had. His problem is now that he knows I would have analyzed what he’s injected you with and I would have realized that it is an exact replica of my switch, the one I found thirty years ago.”

“But what can he do now?”

“A number of things: find me and expose me before I ruin him, or …”

She interrupted me instantly. “But expose you how?” She didn’t know what I meant.

I turned her to look at me. “Do you know what they’d do with a freak like me? They’ll lock me up in some high security research lab and experiment on me.”

Annette looked at me in shock. She obviously hadn’t thought of me as a freak. I felt her hand stroke my cheek. I turned my head to kiss her palm.

“I won’t let them take you away from me,” she said in a firm voice.

I kissed her again and held her so tight, I knew she could barely breathe. She clung to me and didn’t want to let go either.

“What else will he try?” she continued.

“He’ll try to blackmail me into giving him the repair to the switch.”

“But you don’t have that.”

“He doesn’t know that. When he saw me in the park, I looked young, I was with you, showing affection, behaving normal, being close to another human being. For all he knows I’ve found a solution to the problem. He’ll want it.”

“Hold on,” she suddenly said. “It doesn’t make sense. He can only think one thing, either he things you’re a freak and he’ll expose you, or he thinks you’ve found the solution and will want it. Don’t you see, he can’t believe in both at the same time.”

I thought about it for a second. Could she be right, that one would exclude the other? She went on.

“So, what could he possibly blackmail you with to give him the solution?”

“I’m not sure,” I confessed. She was smart. I always knew it.

“But that still leaves him the option of exposing me. I still have to stop him. It doesn’t change anything about that. He can’t be allowed to continue what he’s doing. What he did to you and Carmela, and to his other research subjects is criminal. He’s dangerous.”

She nodded. “I agree. We’ll just have to find a way to stop him.”

I interrupted her immediately. “We? I don’t think so. It’s my responsibility. I can’t put you in any more danger than you already are.”

She flared up. “We’re in this together. I won’t let you do this alone!”

And there it was: our first fight. She was hotheaded and opinionated. She wouldn’t give in, but at least I wanted to try. There was no reason to throw a perfectly good fight.

“Please be reasonable.”

“Reasonable? You of all people should know I don’t do reasonable things.” She had me there. “It’s my fault you’re in this dilemma, so I’m going to help you.”

I took her hands into mine. “I’ve survived without your help for the last thirty years, trust me, I can handle it.”

She was furious. “Oh, so you don’t need me? Fine.” There was that word again, fine.

She started pulling away from me and wanted to get up. I wasn’t having any of it. She had won, she just didn’t know it yet. I didn’t let her get up, instead I pulled her back down to me. She struggled. I took her face into my hands and made her look at me.

“I need you like water in the desert. Don’t you think for one moment I can live without you. That’s why I want to keep you safe. It’s selfish, I know, but I wouldn’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.”

She stared into my eyes. “Let me help you.”

I closed my eyes and nodded. I couldn’t refuse her anything. My reward came a second later. I felt her lips on mine, and all I could do was respond to her passion. Her hands started undressing me.

“I guess we should fight more often.” I grinned at her.

Her smile was ravishing. “Only if you let me undress you after every fight.” She had to have conditions.

I started tearing at her t-shirt. “And what do I get?”

With a swift move she pulled her t-shirt over her head. As I knew from when I had touched her in the restaurant, she didn’t wear a bra.

For a few hours I forgot everything about Entwhistle and the danger he represented. When she finally collapsed in my arms, exhausted, I had to smile. I could tire out a twenty-six year old, if that was even her age. I made a mental note to find out her real age later.

I carried her to bed and she slept cradled in my arms. It was almost morning. Her sleeping body had a strangely calming effect on me, and I could feel my body relax, until I finally closed my eyes and fell asleep. In those lonely thirty years I had barely slept. I hadn’t needed it, and now with her in my arms I finally fell into a deep, relaxing sleep.

When I awoke it was late afternoon. I couldn’t believe I could possibly have slept that long, but it was true. Amazed at the changes she had brought to my life I gazed at my sleeping angel. I decided to let her sleep a little while longer. If I had needed ten hours of sleep, I wondered how long she would need to recover.

After a refreshing shower I decided to check on a few things in the lab. I heard Annette get up shortly later and take a shower. It was a tempting thought to go and surprise her in the shower, but I managed to resist. I needed a clear head. If I wanted to beat Entwhistle to the punch, I had to act tonight. I had formulated my plan and was ready to execute it.

The shower had stopped and I knew it was safe to go upstairs. She would be dressed by now. I hoped today would be the last day where I would have to worry about keeping a cool head. If everything went well, I could finally relax and only think about living with Annette.

“Good morning,” she greeted me with a huge smile as soon as I entered.

I walked toward her. “It’s afternoon,” I corrected her and pulled her up so her feet didn’t feel the ground. Her kiss brought back the memories of the previous night.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked her between kisses.

“Never better.”

“Good. We have to take care of a few things today, or rather tonight.”

She gave me a questioning look.

“But how about breakfast first?” I suggested.

Over steak, three for me and one for her, I laid out my plan. I had decided to start with destroying his research records. Without any samples of the serum and the blueprint for it he would have a hard time continuing. I figured the only place he would keep the serum was in his lab, since it needed to be refrigerated. I couldn’t imagine he would keep it in his refrigerator at home.

There would most likely be electronic records of his research on his computers therefore I was planning to wipe the hard drives of all his computers in the lab and his academic office clean.

Annette thought there was something missing from my plan, and doubted it would be enough to stop him. I had to admit I secretly agreed with her, but short of killing him if he continued endangering people, I couldn’t come up with anything effective. And I didn’t dare mentioning it, since I got the distinct feeling she wouldn’t approve.

Our drive to campus was silent. I didn’t like the fact that she didn’t want to stay home, but despite another effort on my part she couldn’t be convinced to let me do this on my own. She was stubborn. I didn’t have a good feeling about the whole thing. My instincts told me that I had overlooked something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I would have felt much better had she agreed to stay at home.

I had half expected that my key to his lab wouldn’t work anymore, but surprisingly he hadn’t changed the locks. It should have tipped me off immediately that something was wrong. I pushed the door open and peaked inside. Annette was right behind me. It was dark inside but I could easily see the interior of the lab with its familiar benches. I stepped inside and almost immediately I sensed something unexpected. I picked up a scent I didn’t recognize. Somebody was in the room.

“Annette, run, it’s a trap!” I shouted and turned back to her at the same time. She had been only a few steps behind me.

The light went on instantly and I knew I was too late. The door behind me was closed and in front of it I saw my opponent tightly gripping Annette. It was unexpected to see that it wasn’t Entwhistle who had grabbed Annette: it was Entwhistle’s wife, Rebecca. I recognized her from the wedding picture in his home office. She was a slender brunette in her mid thirties and fairly attractive, but her eyes were cold.

A sound alerted me to the fact that she had dropped an empty syringe to the floor. I was ready to lunge at her to rip Annette from her hold, but stopped in my tracks when I stared straight into the barrel of a handgun. Annette struggled to break loose, but didn’t seem to have the strength.

“Let me go!” she protested.

“Shut up!” was Rebecca’s response, before she addressed me. “I’ve been waiting for you. Thanks for bringing your little hussy. I figured you would since you looked so inseparable in the park.”

I despised the way she talked about Annette and a low hiss escaped my lips. But I couldn’t move to free Annette from her. Looking at the gun pointed at me I knew that despite my speed I wouldn’t get to her quickly enough.

“What was in the syringe?” I pointed at the floor where the empty syringe lay. I needed to know what was wrong with Annette. She didn’t look well. Her skin was flushed and she looked like she was feeling ill and weak.

“Oh, that. That’s your fountain of youth,” she said casually.

My heart stopped. I could feel the anger rising in me and feel my muscles harden. Would I be fast enough in my animal form to jump her before she had a chance to shoot me? I couldn’t risk it. I tried to suppress my anger to push back my transformation.

“And this time I didn’t bother with the time release capsule, so it’s going straight into her bloodstream. I figure you’ll have what, four, maybe six hours to save her? But you’re the doctor, not I.” She played with me and enjoyed it too.

“What do you want?” I asked her anxiously looking at Annette who was close to collapsing.

“The real fountain of youth. I can see you’ve found it, but obviously you didn’t want to share.”

So she did believe I had found the solution. I decided to keep her in that belief to buy myself some time. I had to keep my anger under control. I couldn’t afford to transform, not now.

“Thanks for the useless crap you left behind,” she went on. “Did you really think we wouldn’t find out about the side effects?”

“I didn’t leave anything behind.”

She waved me off. “You were leading my father on all this time, hiding the true results. He was loyal to you and you treated him like a piece of dirt. You owe him.” She didn’t make sense. “If you want to save your girlfriend, you’d better be coughing it up. Do you think I want my husband to spend day and night in the lab trying to find out how to fix the serum while he’s getting older and older while you selfish bastard stay young?”

I didn’t believe she really did all this for him. I remembered the Botox bottle I had found in her husband’s office. I got the distinct feeling she was the one who didn’t want to age. She was the one who wanted to stay young forever.

“I figured you’d come out of hiding once we started infecting enough people with your useless serum. We made sure we only injected people who didn’t have any family, so that the chance of us being detected by somebody other than you was minimal. We knew that once the serum took hold, the people would disappear and with a bit of luck they’d do what you did. We knew eventually you’d all drift together – animals of the same kind. And you would figure it out and come after us. It was just a matter of time. When you broke into our home, we knew we had you. You couldn’t stand the fact that somebody else might profit from it, could you? You wanted it all for yourself.”

I was shocked to hear she had planned this to draw me out of hiding so she could get me to give her the real serum, the one she didn’t know didn’t exist. She and her husband had willingly endangered innocent people just to get to me so she could get the true fountain of youth. I blamed myself for not having guessed something sinister was going on. I should have known better. But the depth of evil some people were capable of still surprised me sometimes.

“So your husband is having you do his dirty work?”

“Don’t worry, I enjoy this part,” she sniped.

“What made you think I was still alive?”

I tried to keep her talking so I could think of what to do to save Annette. She could barely stand now and I could see her eyelids flutter.

“My father never believed you’d kill yourself. You were too ambitious and selfish.”

She looked at Annette, who she still had in her grip.

“But I keep chatting away here, while your girlfriend is getting worse and worse,” she said sarcastically. Her tone suddenly became icy. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll keep your precious little girlfriend here and you’ll go get the real serum. No tricks. And to make sure you don’t palm some useless liquid off on me, we’re going to try it out on her. Don’t even think about involving the police. She’ll be dead before they can break down the door. Don’t worry about me. I have another way out.”

She winked at me.

I had no choice but to leave Annette with her, but I wanted to make sure she knew what would happen if she harmed her.

“If she dies, I’ll destroy the serum and you’ll never get your hands on it. And then I’ll hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands, and I’ll make sure I’ll take my time with it. It’ll be a long and painful death.” I meant it. I turned my attention to Annette. She was semi-conscious.

“Angel, I know you can hear me. Trust me. I’ll be back for you.”

“How cute,” she bristled sarcastically.

I wanted to snap her neck, but I knew she would shoot me first and then there would be nobody to save Annette. I couldn’t risk it.

I love you, Annette. Hold on, please hold on.

I was full of fury when I ran to my car and jumped in. I could feel my body transform, but I fought it back, just like I had fought it back in the lab when she had confronted me. The thought, that Annette was with her made my blood boil.

I raced through the streets, weaving in and out of traffic without much regard for anything. I knew people would be cursing me. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered to me but Annette. She didn’t have much time. I raced into the garage and ran into the lab. I jerked open the fridge and pulled out a tray of vials.

I took two of them and started mixing them like I had previously with the help of a syringe, then pushed the liquid back into one of the vials. I repeated the process with the next two vials, so they both would have the identical compound in them.

I looked at the clock. Time was ticking away. I knew she wouldn’t want me to bring in my instrument bag thinking I would try to smuggle in a weapon, so I didn’t bother. I stuffed a fresh syringe and the two vials into my coat together with a tourniquet and band aids.

There was one more thing I needed to do. I logged into the computer. Using one of my many stolen logons I logged into UCSF’s system and pulled up floor plans on facility management’s server. I needed to familiarize myself with the layout of Entwhistle’s lab. I knew that a few years earlier the University had undertaken some renovations in the area. Mrs. Entwhistle had mentioned she knew of another exit and I was sure she wasn’t lying. Frantically I searched through the blueprints. Once I had found what I was looking for I sprinted back to the car and drove off.

I hit Market Street and instantly knew I should have avoided it. A bus had broken down and was blocking the lane. I didn’t care that the police were stopping everybody. I honked and drove onto the pavement, narrowly avoiding a few pedestrians. I raced along to get around the bus.

I could hear a police siren behind me and sped up. My rear view window showed me that the police car was a couple of blocks behind me. The needle of my speedometer reached sixty and passed it. I turned into the next street using my hand brake to make the tight turn. I could smell the rubber burn. I had full confidence in German engineering and knew the car could take the tight corners without flipping over.

A few turns further and I had lost the police car and raced up the hill approaching UCSF’s Parnassus campus. I stopped the car outside a side entrance and ran out. I didn’t bother locking it.

She was waiting for me in the lab. I saw immediately that Annette was worse. She lay on the floor, unconscious. I ran to her while she watched me like a hawk, and kept the gun pointed at me. She stood several yards from me, so I wouldn’t be able to lunge at her without giving her a chance to fire at me first.

“Welcome back,” she greeted me.

I didn’t say anything, but touched Annette’s face. She was burning up.

I pulled out the first vial and prepared the syringe, then applied the tourniquet to find a vein in Annette’s arm, pulling it tight around her biceps.

I steadied my hand when I inserted the needle into her arm, then released the tourniquet and pushed the liquid into her. I pulled the needle out and prepared for what was to come.

I kneeled on the floor, taking her into my arms. Then the spasms started and she screamed. From the corner of my eye I could see how Mrs. Entwhistle stared at us in shock, but she didn’t move and kept pointing the gun at me.

I pressed Annette close to my body to absorb some of her pain, but the spasms which ripped through her body were violent, and it nearly tore my heart out to know the pain she had to go through.

“This better be working,” I heard her snipe behind me. “Or you’re both dead.”

I glared at her while I kept my angel in my arms, hoping it would be over soon. It seemed like an eternity until she finally fell still. I checked her pulse immediately. It was coming down and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Rebecca had watched me and seen my relief and knew Annette would be fine.

“The serum.” She demanded.

I had the vials in the palm of my hand.

“Put them on the floor and push them over here.”

I did as she said. She picked them up without lowering the gun before making her way to the door. She stopped and turned a handle to a pipe near the door. I heard a whooshing sound like some air escaping.

Before I knew it, she had snapped off the handle.

“Thanks and enjoy the last few minutes together.”

She went out the door and slammed it shut behind her. I heard the sound of a bolt, and knew she had locked us in.

I looked at the door and knew instantly it couldn’t be opened anymore. I could immediately smell it: she was releasing gas into the lab. She wasn’t going to let us live. I had expected as much.

Annette was still unconscious. I scanned the room. There was only one window. I checked it. It backed up to another building and there wasn’t even enough space for a cat to squeeze through the gap.

I smashed it nevertheless to give us a few extra seconds of air. There were pilot lights in several of the instruments in the lab which would make the gas ignite eventually even if we didn’t suffocate before. One way or another, we would die.

I recalled the floor plans I had been so familiar with and had refreshed my mind with just minutes earlier when I had been back at my lab. I knew there had been an elevator before they had remodeled the place.

I opened the closets. I looked at the awkward layout of the lab and tried to superimpose the floor plan in my mind. I knew UC always did things the easy and cheap way. Instead of spending the money to remove an old elevator they would just build a closet around it. There was a corner which shouldn’t have been there, so I opened all the closets around it, ripped out the shelves and pushed behind it. There it was: the old elevator. I pressed the button to call the elevator and prayed UCSF hadn’t spent the money to disconnect the systems. My prayer was answered. Immediately I heard the sound of the elevator moving. Unbelievable!

I picked up Annette and held her tightly in my arms before squeezing through the space I had created to get to the elevator door.

“We’ll make it, I promise you,” I whispered to her.

The elevator doors didn’t opened even though I could hear that the cab stop at our floor. I propped Annette against the closet wall to have my hands free. With all the strength I had I tried to pry the doors open, but they didn’t move. Panic shot through me. I couldn’t do it. The University had obviously disabled the floor so that nobody would accidentally try to get out where there was no exit.

I could feel my anger rising and I suddenly knew what I had to do. In my mind I recalled the terrible things Entwhistle and his wife had done, the danger they had put Annette and Carmela in. It made my blood boil, and suddenly I could feel my transformation coming.

As soon as my claws appeared I tried the doors again and with the added strength my power animal provided me with I was able to pull them open. I quickly picked up Annette and jumped inside, pulling the doors closed behind me. I was on the ninth floor. I pressed the button for the first floor, hoping an exit would still exist somewhere down there.

The elevator moved. We passed the sixth floor, the fifth, then the forth, when I suddenly heard a loud bang. I knew what it was. The lab above us had exploded. I pressed the third and second floor buttons instantly hoping the elevator would stop at either one.

When the shockwave hit us a second later, I could feel the elevator shake. It stopped suddenly. Slowly one door opened partially. We were almost at floor level. There was enough space for me to squeeze myself holding Annette tightly to my chest.

I jumped and landed on my feet. Annette was still unconscious. I was glad about that.

As soon as I had touched down, I heard a ripping sound behind me. I turned and saw the elevator come loose and fall.

I oriented myself. I was on the second floor. I ran through the corridor looking for the exit. When I found it, I pushed the doors open, triggering a fire alarm in the process. I sprinted to the car, put Annette on the back seat and sped off. As I drove I felt my body relax and transform back.

I knew I couldn’t speed through the street with her on the back seat so I drove toward Twin Peaks and pulled off behind the reservoir, where I brought the car to a stop and switched off all lights.

I jumped into the back seat and picked her up to cradle her. I kissed her face. I felt her ice cold hands and knew I needed to warm her.

I pulled out a blanket from under the seat and spread it over us. I rubbed her back with my hands and could feel the warmth starting to come back into her body.

“Stay with me, angel. Don’t leave me.”

I kissed her face again, and held her body close to mine, so she could soak up the warmth coming from my chest. I knew she needed to get warmer. I briefly pulled her away from my chest, opened my coat and undid the buttons of my shirt. Then I placed her against my naked chest and wrapped the blanket over her.

Her hands and her face were like ice against my warm chest, but it didn’t bother me. I needed her to soak up my heat. I continued rubbing her back, until finally, finally she stirred.

“I love you, angel, I love you,” I whispered to her. I looked down at her and saw her eyelids flutter. She was gaining consciousness. My angel was back.

I continued to let her rest against my chest. Her eyes opened.

“Vince,” was all she said, before I felt her lips pressed against my skin. Nothing had ever felt better in my life than those lips against my naked chest.

I held her. That was all I wanted to do.

She lifted her head and looked at me. “I’m so sorry.”

I put my hand underneath her chin. “You have nothing to be sorry about. It was my fault. I should have been more careful. Please forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” She pulled herself up to move her head closer to mine. “Please kiss me,” she whispered.

I was gentle when I lowered my mouth onto her lips. She felt so breakable. I didn’t want to hurt her. Her body was still aching, I was sure. She surprised me with the fierceness with which she kissed me, and I realized then that she had also been scared, scared she would lose me, just like I had been scared to lose her. I understood the hunger in her kiss all too well. She didn’t want me to hold back. She needed to feel that I was with her, that I was still hers.

I felt her hands stoke my naked chest and didn’t stop her. She had the right to touch me whenever she wanted to. I would never stop her again. Her heart was beating fast, but for once I knew I didn’t need to worry about it. Her heart was beating for me.

She wanted to be touched. I could feel it by the way she moved in my arms. I slipped my hand underneath her sweater and found her breasts. She moaned softly as soon as my hand started caressing them. I loved touching her. It was the most natural thing I had ever done. Her body responded to every touch, every motion. It made me dizzy to kiss her and caress her breasts and feel her touch my chest, but I didn’t dare let go of her. I didn’t want her to think I wanted to stop. I wanted it to be her choice when to stop, or not, if she didn’t want to stop. I didn’t care. I just wanted her to be happy.

21. Annette’s Plot

I felt like a high school girl smooching in the back seat of his car with him. I wondered whether he felt like being back in high school too.

I welcomed his hands touching my skin and I didn’t want him to stop kissing me. Quite unexpectedly his hand which had caressed my breasts moved to my pants, opened the button and pulled the zipper down.

“Relax, my angel, I’m going to take your pain away,” he whispered to me in between kisses.

He started taken my pants down and I helped him. I couldn’t believe what he was doing, since he had always been the one to hold back and show caution, but when he had started kissing me I had felt something else. I had felt he didn’t want to stop, he wanted to give me anything I wanted, he was grateful I was alive. His kisses had been filled with such desperation, such pain I knew he didn’t want to let go of me ever again.

When he slipped his hand inside my panties and pulled them off me, I knew I was already wet long before his hand even touched me. I gasped when I felt his fingers explore me. I could feel him slowly probing until he slid one finger inside of me while he continued to stroke my clit with his thumb. He rhythmically moved back and forth, responding to every movement of my body.

“I love touching you,” I heard him say and his voice sounded almost as if he was drunk.

I was breathless from his kisses and his touch. I couldn’t respond. He didn’t expect me to, because he didn’t let go of my lips.

Under his expert hand I could feel the excitement build in me. His passionate kisses only intensified the emotions he awakened in me.

I sensed how my body became flushed, how the blood rushed through me while he continued touching me in all the right ways, as if he knew my body better than I did.

I couldn’t hold back the overwhelming feelings I had for him, the warmth and pleasure I felt under his caress, the thirst and hunger he satisfied with his kiss and touch. He was everything I wanted and needed, and he knew it. I couldn’t hold back anymore and felt how he drove me to the edge until my body exploded in an orgasm of epic proportions.

He looked into my eyes and smiled.

“There’s nothing better than an orgasm to forget pain,” he stated.

I knew I blushed. But he was right. I had completely forgotten the pain from earlier.

He chuckled. “Get used to it, because I’m going to make love to you until you beg me to stop.”

Now I chuckled. “I won’t beg.”

I didn’t want to stop kissing him, so I didn’t. His lips were gentle and warm and I soaked him up. His hand went back to my breasts caressing them softly almost as if he was playing with them.

When he finally stopped kissing me, I rested my head on his chest. “Can we go home?”

“I’ll need to check on something first.”

“What is it?” I looked up at him.

“Mrs. Entwhistle is going to be really pissed when she finds out what I gave her.”

“But didn’t you give her your antidote? You gave it to me.”

“Do you remember I mixed two different vials when I first gave you the antidote, and then when I gave it to Carmela?”

“Sure.”

“Well, this time I brought the vials with me premixed. What Mrs. Entwhistle doesn’t know is that once the two components are mixed they are only effective for about two hours, before they break down. All she’ll have is some useless saline solution.”

I smiled and gave him a hug. “I’m so glad you didn’t have to give up your antidote for me.”

He made me look at him. “You know I would have given it up for you, had it been necessary, don’t you?”

I nodded. I knew he would have given up anything for me. “I love you.”

He kissed me. “Let’s see whether we can go home.”

He opened a compartment behind one of the back seats and pulled out a laptop. Once he had booted it up and checked for an internet connection he logged into his server and pulled up his home security system. I was fascinated.

“You can see your security cameras from here?”

“Yes.” He turned the laptop so I could see it better. “I can see everything that’s going on. I’ll just run through the last couple of hours to see if our hiding place has been compromised. I wouldn’t want us to run into another trap.”

He scanned the footage.

“Vince, once she realizes the serum is useless, she’ll try to find us again. We will have to stop her.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“I have an idea.”

“Uh, oh.”

Vince insisted on carrying me up the stairs when we got home. In fact, I got the feeling he was suddenly pampering me more than usual. He made sure I was comfortably seated on the couch before he brought me something to drink.

On the way home in the car he had told me about the explosion of the lab and how we had escaped and I got the distinct feeling he didn’t tell me how close we had really come to not making it. The way he had responded to me in the back seat of his car reminded me of somebody who wanted to forget everything.

The late night news brought a live report about the explosion at UCSF. The police had no clue what had happened and it was assumed a gas pipe had blown in one of the labs, which was close enough to the truth.

The report brought me back to what I had mentioned to Vince in the car, namely that I had a plan to bring the Entwhistles down.

It had been a shock to me when Entwhistle’s wife had waited for us in the lab. I had had no inkling she was involved in her husband’s activities. It even seemed she was the driving force behind it.

“I know how we can get them,” I told Vince.

He raised an eyebrow. “So what’s your plan?”

“You’re going to have to pin my death on them.”

I could virtually feel the lightening bolt go through his body as he shot up and stared at me with wide eyes. “What?” His voice boomed through the room.

“My faked death.” I corrected myself, but he didn’t seem to hear me.

He grabbed me by the shoulders. “Not funny, Annette. Really, not funny.” He fumed.

I had never seen him so mad. I could see his eyes flicker amber and suddenly felt his claws dig into my shoulders. He pulled them off me as soon as he realized his hands had turned into claws.

He turned away from me and I could see how he balled his claws into fists trying to control himself. It was the first time I had seen him transform in anger and I realized now that this was what he had warned me about.  It was those moments which he had been afraid of, those uncontrolled and unexpected moments.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

He raised his hand without turning back to me. “A minute, please.”

His voice was labored and he was breathing hard. I could sense the turmoil in him, the pain, the memories and finally realized what he had been going through all these years. The tremendous loneliness, the shame, the guilt. And I understood how much he needed me to heal.

Finally he moved. But instead of turning back to me he moved away from me toward the armchair on the other side of the coffee table. He sat down.

He looked back at me. He was fully human again.

“Do you see now why I’m so dangerous?” His voice sounded resigned. He averted his eyes. He couldn’t look at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

He lifted his eyes to look at me. “You’re sorry? I hurt you, and you are sorry? You should be scared of me. You should be running away right now.”

I shook my head. “I’m not afraid of you, never have been, never will.”

“You can still leave now, before it happens again. Think about it. You’re young, you’ll get over it.” Again he had to look away. I knew how hard it was for him to say these words, to give me a way out. I could sense he knew he wouldn’t get over it. What made him think even for a second I would?

Slowly I got up from the couch. My steps barely made any noise, but I knew he could hear me. Still he didn’t look up. His eyes were closed as if he didn’t want to see anything, as if he wanted to shut everything out.

I stopped and kneeled down in front of him, and simply put my head in his lap.

“I belong here. I’m not leaving. Get used to it. And besides, I’ve told you before, you can’t hurt me.”

I felt his hands on my head, and then slowly he pulled me up to face him. I immediately saw that his eyes were filled with tears.

“I don’t deserve you.” He let his head rest on my chest.

“I’m not here because you deserve me. I’m here because I love you.” I put my arms around him. “I never want to hear you send me away again.”

I heard him breathe in deeply. “I promise.” He kept his head in my chest. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I suppressed my emotions for the last few hours. I couldn’t risk transforming in front of her. Today was more than I could take. I almost lost you. Forgive me, my angel.”

I lifted his head up with both my hands. His eyes showed so much pain I couldn’t imagine anybody being able to bear that much.

“Shh, I’m here and I’m staying. You are my life.”

I kissed him and felt the salt of his tears touch my lips. I could feel how careful he suddenly kissed me back, how gently he touched me. Everything would be alright. It would be just a small hurdle to get over. I would learn how to read his stress better, and he would learn how to control himself better. We could make it work.

“Are you ready to hear my plan now? I promise nothing bad will happen to me.”

He nodded. His expression was serious, his facial muscles still tenser than normal as if he was trying to hold back his emotions.

“We need to frame the Entwhistles for my murder. All we need is a death certificate, an autopsy report, photos of my corpse and a few pieces of paper to link me to his clinical trial.” I laid it out for him.

“I hate the way you say corpse.”

I smirked. “I think with a little bit of creative make-up I’ll make a pretty nice corpse.”

“It’s never going to work, angel. For once, how on earth do you want to get a real death certificate without actually dying, which you’d better not be planning or I’m going to have another fit.”

Even though his words were serious, I could tell he had recovered and was actually mocking me.

I shook my head. “Well, that’s where my connections come in.”

“You have connections? Excuse me, but aren’t you the girl I rescued, the girl who knew nobody?”

“I didn’t say that. I said there was nobody you needed to notify for me,” I corrected him. “That’s entirely different.”

“You know what I’m starting to think? That you have more secrets than I do.”

I instantly recalled the number of flings I had had in the last few years, something I really didn’t want to share with him, especially considering he had been celibate for the last thirty years.

He interrupted my thoughts. “I’m right, aren’t I?” He gave me a shameless grin.  “I’m sure it will be fun eliciting those secrets from you.”

I knew he couldn’t read my mind, but I also knew he could read my thoughts when he was in his animal state and concentrated on me, and I figured he was thinking the same thing. A look into his sparkling green eyes told me I had guessed right.

“You wouldn’t!” I glared at him.

He laughed. “Well, we’ll just have to find out who can keep their thoughts to themselves better. I do like a challenge, especially when it involves you.”

I decided to spoil his fun. “There’s really nothing to tell, except for the fact that I wasn’t a virgin before I met you. There you go. Now you know everything about me.” I hoped this would take him off the trail.

He laughed out loud. “Sometimes you’re really funny. Trust me, there’s no way I would have confused you with a virgin.”

I felt insulted. At least he could have pretended. “Hey!” I slammed my fists into his chest, but they just bounced off.

“Really, I might be a little rusty when it comes to women, but the moves you put on me, angel, were not the moves of a virgin.” He was still laughing.

“Are you implying I seduced you into doing something you didn’t want to do?”

“Oh, you seduced me alright starting from the moment you woke up that first morning,” he grinned and paused. “But you sure didn’t seduce me into something I didn’t want to do.”

He took a hold of my hands. “And I hope you’ll continue doing it.”

He kissed me. “So, what were you saying about your connections?”

I gained my composure back. “Carmela.”

“Carmela?”

“Carmela works for the Medical Examiner. She can help us.”

He looked at me and suddenly it looked like a light bulb had gone on in his head. “I have a better idea. Do you think she can get us a fresh body?”

I threw him a questioning look. What had he come up with?

22. Vince’s Deception

“You guys are nuts,” Carmela exclaimed when we stood in her flat several hours later after we had prepared what we needed. She looked at me and then at Annette. It was past midnight, but we hadn’t woken her up. She had been surprised to see us though. Annette had announced herself on the intercom and Carmela had not expected her to have me in tow.

As soon as she had seen us arriving holding hands she had realized something else had to be wrong, rather than Annette’s love life.

“Please, we need your help,” Annette begged.

I tried my most charming smile with Carmela. “How would you like a shiny almost new BMW for your inconvenience?” I felt a little enticement was appropriate for the huge service she would render us.

“You’re kidding!” She didn’t believe me at first, but when I shook my head and stretched out my hand with the car key in it, she understood I was serious.

“I’ll sign the papers over to you when we’re done.”

I already had.

Her mouth was still wide open and even Annette seemed surprised at my gesture. Didn’t she know that these material things didn’t really mean anything to me? I barely used the car anyway. Of course, I would have to get a new one, but I wanted to let Annette choose what car she wanted, since she would be driving it too.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Carmela finally said. She smiled. “And, just so you know, I would have done it without the bribe.”

I winked at her. “And just so you know, I would have given you the car even if you hadn’t agreed to it, as a little thank you for talking Annette into coming back to me.”

I felt Annette press herself against me and I kissed the top of her head.

“How do we get in?” Annette asked.

Carmela frowned. “It’s going to be a little tricky. I hope you guys don’t mind squeezing into a tight space. But what am I saying?” She gave us a knowing look. “Of course you don’t mind.”

The Medical Examiner’s Offices were located in the Hall of Justice on Bryant Street and shared the space with the Police Station. The building made up an entire city block. Breaking into a police station was out of the question, even I had to admit this. However, as an employee of the Medical Examiner’s Office, Carmela had access rights and she would smuggle us in. “We’ll have to take my car, as much as I would like to try out my new ride.”

I was glad, that she seemed to like my gift. She deserved it.

As we piled into her decade old hatchback, I briefly wondered why she had said yes to our plan, especially since we hadn’t told her the whole story. Annette and I had agreed to tell her only what was absolutely necessary, partially to protect her should something go wrong, but also to protect my secret.

Despite the scarce facts we provided her with about the danger Entwhistle represented, she was willing to jeopardize her job and help us. I couldn’t tell what her motivation was, for it surely wasn’t my bribe.

Two blocks away from our destination, Carmela stopped the car.

“Time to get ready.”

All of us got out of the car. Carmela opened up the hatchback. There wasn’t a lot of space, but I squeezed in and pressed my back to the back of the rear seats.

“Your turn, Annette,” Carmela said.

I detected an uncertain look on Annette’s face. She hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Just a little claustrophobia,” Carmela said in Annette’s stead.

“Come on, angel, I’m going to be right here with you.” I opened my arms.

Annette still stood almost frozen.

“It’s not like a regular trunk of a car --- you can lift the top off, see?” Carmela showed her. “So, you’re not locked in.”

“Okay.”

Finally Annette stepped into the back and molded her body to mine.

“Everything will be ok.”

Carmela shut the hatchback and got into the driver’s seat.

“And no funny business back there,” I heard Carmela’s voice loud and clear.

I didn’t respond. My arms were wrapped around Annette’s body and my lips were busy kissing her neck. I could feel Annette relax under my touch.

“Thanks,” she whispered, and I knew only I could hear her.

“Anytime, angel.”

Carmela put the car back in gear and drove off. I knew we were only two blocks away from the building, but I could feel that Carmela made a left turn and then a right turn and another left turn. It was more than two blocks. Where was she going? Was I wrong to trust her?

The car came to a stop. I heard the sound of the window opening.

“Evening Carmela,” a male voice said.

“Hey, Michael,” Carmela responded.

“I don’t have you on my roster for tonight,” Michael continued.

“I know,” Carmela said sounding annoyed. “I got paged. Hank’s on vacation and wants me to scan in some reports to review urgently.”

“In the middle of the night?” Michael sounded suspicious.

“Go figure. He’s on a beach in Greece and has no idea what time it is over here!”

“Yeah, that’s Hank!” Michael confirmed.

“He owes me,” Carmela threatened.

“Drive right in.”

I felt the car move forward again for a few hundred yards, make a couple of turns and then stop. She shut the engine off.

“We’re in. Stay in the back, I’ll go in first to make sure nobody is there and to open up the back entrance. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Carmela got out and slammed the car door shut.

I whispered to Annette. “Are you ok?”

“Yes. Just a little nervous, though. It doesn’t happen every day that I break into a morgue.”

“I can’t say it’s a first for me to break in somewhere,” I chuckled.

She turned in my arms and her face was right in front of me. I knew she could barely see me in the dark, but I could see her face clearly.

“Does this now make me Bonnie, from Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Not quite. But while we’re talking about lovers …” I found her lips and sunk my mouth onto them, hungrily exploring her mouth with my tongue. She equaled me in passion and hunger as she responded to my kiss. All of a sudden I felt a cold wave hit me amongst the heat I felt from Annette’s body.

“Cut it out, you guys,” Carmela’s voice penetrated our passionate embrace. She had opened the hatchback.

As we stumbled out of the back of the car, Carmela kept watch. The parking lot we found ourselves in was small and only partially lit. I noticed Carmela had parked as close as possible to the building. She led us to a nondescript door next to a number of trash bins. She had propped it open with a waste basket and led us inside.

We entered a long corridor with doors on each side. The linoleum floor and the light green walls reminded me of a hospital. At the end of the corridor we turned left. Carmela opened the second door we came to and hurried us in. She shut the door behind us.

The office was large and had several cubicles as well as two private offices at one end. We followed Carmela through another door into an even larger room. It looked like an operating theater with benches on one side and a bank of refrigerators on the other. I knew what the refrigerators were for. I had seen them often enough at UCSF’s own morgue.

“What are you looking for?” Carmela asked me.

“I need a body where you guys haven’t performed the autopsy on yet. Preferably a Jane or John Doe.”

“Not a problem. We had three bodies come in today alone, and since we’re a little understaffed, we haven’t done the autopsies yet.”

She walked to the refrigerators and opened one of them. She pulled out the slab and revealed the first body. It was an old woman.

“Collapsed at Bloomingdale’s this morning,” she explained.

I shook my head. “No. That won’t work. What else do you have?”

She closed the refrigerator and opened another one. The body was that of a child. I shook my head again and she rolled the body back.

“This is the last one – we’ve done the autopsies on all the others already.”

She opened another refrigerator door and pointed at the body of a man in his thirties or forties. He had bruises all over his body.

“Accident victim. Hit and run.”

“Perfect!”

As we rolled the gurney over to the autopsy table to have better light I started explaining what we needed to do.

“Gloves everybody. We don’t want to leave any of our fingerprints on the material.”

Carmela provided us with latex gloves which we all put on. I pulled out a large envelope from my jacket pocket and spilled the contents onto the autopsy table.

“We need his fingerprints on each piece of paper, to prove he had the papers in his possession.”

“What are they?” Carmela asked curiously while Annette and I got started on the task at hand.

“Papers on the clinical trial,” Annette explained instead of me. “We’ve made copies of the protocol, the patient enrollment list and Entwhistle’s private notes. It will look like this person got access to Entwhistle’s papers and blackmailed him.”

Carmela raised an eyebrow. “Not bad, but are you sure that it’ll work?”

I continued pressing the fingers of the body onto the papers to leave fingerprints.

“I’ve also prepared a list of payoffs with dates and amounts which will look like Entwhistle actually paid blackmail money to him over the months,” I added.

“But how are you going to make sure the police find the papers? We don’t even know who this guy is. There was no ID on him,” Carmela informed me.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m going to plant a key on him, that’s why I needed somebody where your colleagues haven’t done the autopsy yet.”

“I don’t understand. What key?”

I was almost done with the fingerprints.

“The key to a locker. We’ll place the papers into a locker at Transbay Terminal and plant the key on his body. When the M.E. does his autopsy, he’ll discover the key. The police will find out what it belongs to and find the papers which will link to Entwhistle. They’ll believe this guy here blackmailed Entwhistle, which in itself will trigger an investigation of why he could be blackmailed about a clinical trial. It’ll raise enough questions for them to look into what the trial was about. Once they realize what Entwhistle has to hide about the clinical trial, namely that it is not sanctioned and extremely dangerous, they will reconsider whether the hit and run was an accident or whether Entwhistle was involved in the death of this man.”

Carmela nodded, and I saw Annette smile proudly.

“There’s just one flaw in your plan,” Carmela suddenly said.

“What flaw?” Annette wanted to know.

“Well, if you have the papers right here to put his fingerprints on it, and want to plant the key on him now, how are you going to get the papers into the locker without the key?”

I grinned. “I’ve thought of that. I have a little workshop in my basement so to speak, and have cut myself a double.” I pulled two identical locker keys out of my pocket.

I pressed the guy’s thumb and index finger onto one of the keys.

“Where are you going to hide it?” Annette asked. “The body is already naked, so we can’t hide it in his clothes.”

“Not a problem. Carmela, I need a small strip of tape.”

She opened a drawer, pulled out a small roll of tape and handed it to me. I cut off a small piece large enough to cover the key completely.

I approached the guy’s pubic area. I pushed aside his testicles giving me better access to his inner thigh. I placed the key in the area between his uppermost thigh and the base of his testicles and stuck the tape over it, pressing it down firmly, so it would stick. I made sure a little bit of the tape would be visible when I let his testicles fall back into place. That way I was certain the key would be discovered during the autopsy.

As I looked up I saw both Carmela and Annette stare at the scene with mild disgust on their faces.

“Let’s not get squeamish here,” I smiled calmly.

“I’m not squeamish,” Carmela said. “Don’t forget, I work here. You just look like a natural doing this.”

“Funny,” I said sarcastically and threw Annette a cautious look.

“I’m fine. No problem. I just didn’t expect to see my boyfriend handle the testicles of some guy.”

“Trust me, there are other things I’d much rather do,” I said while looking deeply into her eyes. After all the things that had happened between us, she surprised me by blushing like a schoolgirl.

I collected all papers and put them back into the envelope which I stuck back into my jacket pocket. As we rolled the body back into the refrigerator, I suddenly heard steps in the corridor. I could tell they were still far away, but they were getting closer.

“Somebody’s coming,” I alerted them.

They both panicked.

“Hide us,” I told Carmela.

She looked around the room frantically until her eyes stopped. I followed them. She stared at the refrigerators. Annette saw it at the same time I did.

“No,” she said.

“There’s no other place,” Carmela insisted.

“No, I can’t.”

“Is there any other way out?” I asked.

Carmela shook her head. “Only where we came in from.”

I took Annette’s arm. She was breathing heavily. “You’ll be alright.”

She shook her head. I could feel how her body froze. I walked her over to the refrigerators, and Carmela started yanking one door after the other open, pulling out the slabs. Body after body was revealed. She closed the occupied refrigerators.

I could feel Annette stiffening in my arms. There was no way I could get her onto one of the slabs. I had an idea.

“Do you have anything larger?” Carmela understood.

She opened one on the lowest row and pulled out the slab. It was about one and a half times as wide and high as the others she had shown us.

“For our obese visitors.”

“Help me,” I instructed her. I could hear the footsteps coming closer. As I laid down onto the slab, Carmela took a hold of Annette and under protest helped her lie down on me. I pressed her to my body so she could not move.

“No, no, please.”

“You have to keep her quiet. They’re not sound proof,” Carmela cautioned me.

I heard the door to the first office open. Carmela pushed the slap in and closed the door behind us. It went pitch black. I could feel Annette shake. I released one of my arms to find her head.

“No, no, please, please let me out.” She was in panic.

“Shh.”

She wouldn’t stop. There was only one thing I could do. I pulled her head down to me and smothered her protests with my lips. She clenched her teeth together. I let my tongue slide over her lips, softly and patiently. Nothing - she didn’t respond.

From the outside I could hear somebody entering the room and the muffled voices of another person.

“Didn’t know you were working tonight. Just as well. Jeremiah called in sick again,” a male voice said.

I concentrated on Annette. I rubbed her back to get her to relax. I knew she was scared, but I knew there would be enough air in here to last us for a while. I let my hand slide underneath her sweater and caressed her naked back, while I continued to tempt her mouth to open.

I moved to her lower back and slid my hand into her jeans to touch her behind. Suddenly I could feel her take in some air and open up her lips. I took the opportunity and kissed her passionately, using my tongue to caress hers. She seemed to forget where she was and kissed me back. Her body loosened up and I could feel her hands on me. I was relieved, and surprisingly turned on. In the dark my senses were even more attuned than normal, and her body had even more of an effect on me than usual. I would keep it in mind for the future.

I tried to cool down my inappropriate thoughts and listened for the voices outside while I continued to kiss Annette more gently than before. I couldn’t hear anything, but faint footsteps which suddenly got louder again.

Light streamed into the refrigerator at the same time as the door opened and the slab was pulled out. I was blinded for a fraction of a second.

“You guys make me nauseous. Even I have never done it in here.” Carmela’s voice felt comforting despite her choice of words. It meant she was alone and whoever had interrupted us was gone.

I released Annette’s lips and pulled my hand out of her jeans. No doubt Carmela had seen what I was doing.

“You told me to keep her quiet,” I explained as I smiled at Annette’s flushed face.

“Figures.”

“Who was it?” Annette asked as Carmela helped her get up.

“Sorry, slight change of plans. I have to pick up a body in the Mission. We’ll have to take the company car on our way out. Unfortunately we’ll have a colleague riding with us.”

That would make things a little more difficult, I suspected. I was right. We had no option. Carmela couldn’t leave us in the autopsy room until she was back from the Mission, because it would be morning by the time she got back and the place would be crawling with police and other employees. We wouldn’t make it out unseen.

It was better to take our chances now when we only had to slip past one other person. I took Annette’s hand.

Getting to the garage where the Medical Examiner’s hearse was kept was no the problem, but unfortunately Annette’s colleague had beaten us to the car, and was already sitting in it. There was no way of getting into the car without been seen by him.

“Stay here, I have an idea. When he gets out of the car, you’ll have to hide behind this door.” She pointed to the door to our right. I tested. It was unlocked.

“Do you have a couple of quarters?” Carmela asked.

I threw here a questioning look, but dug into my pockets anyway and handed her the money.

She slipped through the door which I kept ajar to peak through it. Annette was right behind me. I got a glimpse of the man in the car. He was a large guy in his late thirties.

“What’s happening?”

“Carmela is stopping at the vending machine. What’s she doing? This is not the time to get coffee.” I whispered to Annette behind me to keep her in the loop. “Now Carmela is walking to the car. She’s getting in. Damn, he’s starting the engine.”

Suddenly we heard the engine being killed again.

“Wait, the driver’s door is opening. He’s getting out.”

“Why? What’s he doing?”

I looked at the man and grinned. “His pants are wet. I think Carmela spilled some coffee over him.”

Annette and I quickly hid behind the door Carmela had indicated and waited for him to pass the area. As soon as I could hear his footsteps become faint I peaked out. He had turned the corner on his way back to the office. We ran to the car. I opened the door to the back and helped Annette hop into the dark interior before I jumped in myself and shut the door.

“Lie down and keep still. I’ll try to get him to stop on the way to the Mission, but I won’t be able to give you a signal. You’ll have to know yourself when it’s safe to get out.”

“Thanks Carmela, thanks for everything,” Annette said.

“Carmela, the title to the car is in the glove compartment. I’ve already signed it over to you. It’s parked right outside your front door. Good luck and thank you.”

“Quiet, he’s back.”

A couple of seconds later the car door opened and he got back in. He switched on the engine and we were in motion. Neither Carmela nor the man were talking. I guessed he was annoyed about having had to get changed. We drove in silence for a while. I could see us pass by several lights. Every time we stopped at a red light, I prepared myself to get us out of the car, but every time the car went back into motion.

We had been driving for almost ten minutes by my estimate and had to be in the Mission already, when I finally heard Carmela’s voice again.

“Sebastian, I’m really sorry about the coffee. I’ll pay for the dry-cleaning,” she purred.

“Forget it.” He was still cross.

“Oh, come on, don’t give me that silent treatment.”

“What the …” I suddenly heard him say. “What are you doing?”

What was she doing? I gave Annette a questioning look, but she just grinned. Could she guess what Carmela was up to?

“Why don’t you pull over here, Sebastian? I want to show you something.” Her voice was seductive.

Annette nodded at me. I understood. I felt how the car pulled over and stopped. He kept the engine running but I heard the parking break being set.

“What is this about, Carmela?” he asked suspiciously. He didn’t get any further. “Oh, mama …” he suddenly muttered.

“I want to make it up to you. Go ahead, touch them.”

I took Annette’s hand to communicate to her that it was time to move. As soon as I could hear the ruffling and shifting on the front seats I knew Carmela had managed to get him to succumb to her advances.

As quietly as possible I opened the back door only wide enough to step out and help Annette out. Before I pressed the door shut again, I got a quick glimpse through the small window into the driver’s cabin. Sebastian’s head was buried in Carmela’s breasts and her hands were holding his head, partially covering his ears. Very smart.

Annette and I ran into the next alley and stopped.

“I admire her for making such a sacrifice for us,” I told her.

“Sacrifice?” Annette said incredulously and laughed out loud. “That was no sacrifice for Carmela, believe me. That was Carmela in her element! She’s been after Sebastian for quite a while. Trust me, this little gift is worth more to her than your car.”

“Well, I’m glad she’s getting something out of this,” I smiled and hugged her.

We went to Transbay Terminal and placed all items into the locker: Entwhistle’s protocol and notes, the half-dissolved capsule, a slide with a trace of the serum and the list with dates and dollar amounts as if the blackmailer had kept track of the payoffs. The half-dissolved capsule and trace of serum would link back to the protocol which contained a chemical analysis of the serum. Furthermore, records at UCSF would confirm Entwhistle had acted without approval, and Entwhistle’s private notes would confirm he knew how dangerous the serum was.

There was no doubt in my mind we had enough evidence to frame him for something which would surely have happened, had I not saved Annette in time.

When I placed a large bundle of cash into the locker, she looked at me with surprise.

“What’s that for?”

“We have to make sure the whole story gels. If they can’t find that this guy actually got any money out of Entwhistle, the whole blackmail set up might fall apart.”

“How much is it?”

“About twenty-five thousand dollars. It corresponds closely to the list I’ve put together.” I pointed to the payoff list.

By the time we got home it was almost light outside. She was exhausted and leaned on me when we got inside. Without hesitation I lifted her up and carried her up the stairs. I wasn’t tired. My animal self provided me with the extra strength I needed to keep going.

“Vince, would the serum have killed me and Carmela?”

I looked at her and knew my expression was very serious. “I don’t honestly know. It depends on the dosage. But even if you had survived it, you would have never been the same.” I swallowed hard.

“Would I have become like you?” she wondered.

“Most likely, but since I’m the only one of my kind who I know, I can’t know with certainty how your body would have reacted.”

The story broke a week later. We were lounging on the couch over breakfast watching the early morning news. I took the remote and turned up the volume.

“… involving a prominent scientist.” The announcer said. “According to the documents released by the San Francisco Police Department, Dr. Ernest Entwhistle, a professor at UCSF’s Center for Aging, has been implicated in the death of a person who it appears has been blackmailing him over the last couple of months. It is believed that the blackmail was related to a clinical trial which had not received approval from the Human Subjects Committee. Dr. Entwhistle was taken into custody this morning. The Department of Internal Audit at UCSF is conducting a separate investigation focusing on the contents of this unauthorized clinical trial, and is cooperating with the San Francisco Police Department. It has now come to light that the explosion of a laboratory on UCSF’s Parnassus campus last week was a laboratory belonging to Dr. Entwhistle. SFPD are now investigating the possibility of these two incidences being connected and won’t rule out arson.”

She muted the TV and looked at me. “Will it be enough?”

I nodded. “We’ve raised enough doubts. Even if they can’t convict him on murder or manslaughter, he’ll be stripped of his license. Conducting human trials without committee approval is a serious offence. It won’t be just a slap on the wrist. His career is over.”

“Can he implicate you?”

“Nobody will believe him now even if he tries. It’s over now.”

“Over for him. It’s a shame we couldn’t get her.”

I shook my head. “It will destroy her all the same. She lived through his success, power and promise of wealth. She will be crushed by his destruction. There’s no need for us to do anything else.”

“I’m glad it’s over. I think this calls for a celebration.”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked her with a grin.

She stood up and took me by the hand leading me to my bed, no, to our bed. It was no surprise for me. There was little she could hide from me.

“First one to give up will prepare lunch.”

I shook my head. “Dinner. Or are you going to give up that quickly?”

She pushed me onto the bed and followed me. “Dinner it is --- I’d like my steak medium, please,” she ordered.

“Aren’t you putting your order in a little prematurely?” I smirked and locked her in a passionate embrace from which I knew I wouldn’t release her for hours.

Vince’s Epilogue

Entwhistle posted bail and disappeared together with his wife. They left their child behind. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew they would come back for their son one day, and I would be waiting.

And Annette? I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and she didn’t mind when the mountain lion in me came out. She knew how to handle me.

She finally got hired at the zoo doing what she did best: taking care of mountain lions. Living with her and through her I realized that every man had a wild animal inside himself, and that he only needed the right woman to tame it.

Annette had helped me realize I didn’t need to be cured, I was what I was. She accepted me wholeheartedly and I could finally embrace my two sides without feeling any guilt or shame. My life had changed completely. My nights were now filled with making love to her and sleeping in her arms. Being able to hear each others thoughts when I was in my animal state created an unbreakable bond between us and I could not imagine being without this closeness to her. Her love was unconditional and pure.

There was only one small point of friction in our lives together. She didn’t want to age.

“Don’t you think we can wait with this discussion until you’re in your thirties?” I asked her.

“I’m not going to turn grey while you keep looking like this,” she accused me.

“I don’t think I want your cells to stay at age twenty-three. It’s hard enough keeping up with you. I think you’ll need to age just a little. I’m sure you’ll still look gorgeous at thirty-three.”

I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder.

“We were having a discussion. What are you doing?”

“Doing the only thing that makes you shut up for a while.” I grinned as I threw her onto the bed and pinned her down.

She pulled my head close to hers. “I thought you couldn’t keep up with me.”

“I’m rested and I had a couple of steaks. I think I’m good for a few of hours if you are …”

“Well, it’s a start.” She laughed before my lips crushed hers.