Chapter Fifteen
So we’re all straight on where we need to be when?” Jackson asked, pacing around the luxury hotel suite where they’d been staying since their return to L.A. He’d thought it would be best if they stuck close to plan their strategy, which had been more than fine with Nicky.
The suite was twice the size of her studio apartment and she still couldn’t get enough of Jackson. Even after the sex marathon they’d had at the cabin, she’d been eager to get back between the sheets with the man. Making love to him was swiftly becoming an addiction.
Too bad he didn’t feel the same way.
He hadn’t touched her in three days. Instead of joining her in bed, he’d sacked out on the couch, leaving her one of the suite’s bedrooms and his partner, Christian, who had flown in from Miami, the other. Something was obviously bothering him, but she hadn’t had the chance to talk to him about it. Christian or his other friends always seemed to be around. They hadn’t had ten minutes alone together since the ride back to L.A.
But if she was honest with herself, she’d felt him pulling away even then. Ever since their brief and embarrassing encounter with the police, he’d been acting differently. He was still committed to helping her get her daughter back, but he didn’t seem interested in continuing what they’d begun up at the cabin.
Nicky knew she shouldn’t let that hurt her so much. Three days were nothing in the scheme of things, and saying you loved someone didn’t necessarily mean you were ready to settle down and live happily ever after. Hell, she wasn’t even sure she was ready. She only knew she missed the connection they’d had, missed it so much it made her feel strangely hollow inside.
But she had to pull herself together. Jackson had his own life, his own plans for the future, and they had nothing to do with her. She should just be grateful he was using his connections to help her get Abby back.
And she was. But she was also disappointed. Profoundly.
“Christian, do you remember where you’re supposed to wait for the call?”
“Jackson, we’ve been over it a hundred times,” Christian said, reaching for the television remote and sinking farther down into the overstuffed couch. “Let’s check out what’s on pay-per-view and relax for a couple of hours, man.”
His blasé attitude bugged Nicky. A lot. This was her daughter’s life on the line, after all. “If you don’t want to help out with this, Christian, I totally understand. We can change the plan. Jackson and I can do the bit at the club then—”
“Of course I want to help, and I’m your man for breaking and entering. Believe me,” Christian said, turning his attention back to where Nicky and the two cameramen sat at the mahogany dining table.
The monstrosity was bigger than her bed back at her studio apartment, and reminded her way too much of the ostentatious furnishings in her former home. Derrick had picked out all their pieces himself and his tastes ran to the large and overly embellished. Just another thing they hadn’t had in common. Nicky had felt more at home in Jackson’s cabin after two days than she had in three years of wandering Derrick’s garish showplace.
“This isn’t breaking and entering,” Nicky said. “I have a key and the code to the security system.”
“And what if the code has changed? What would you do then?”
“I don’t know,” she said, trying to keep anger from her tone. The man wasn’t trying to be argumentative, he just rubbed her the wrong way. “I’d figure something out.”
“Figure something out. Good plan.” He snorted, a derisive sound that made her grit her teeth.
Maybe the bastard was trying to be argumentative. Fine with her.
“Well, what are you going to do if Abby starts crying and wakes up the nanny?” Nicky asked. “She doesn’t know you, and I’m betting she’s not going to like you very much.”
“I’ll have you know I’m good with ladies of all ages,” Christian said, that smirk on his face she knew most women would find sexy, but only made her want to strangle him. “You want references? I’m sure Jackson would be willing to testify to my many successes with the fairer sex.”
“Christian.” He spoke his partner’s name, but Jackson’s tone was a warning to both of them to cut the crap. He was right. They didn’t have time to argue.
Nicky sighed, all the anger flooding from her as the cold reality of what they were planning set in once more. She was placing way too much trust in a man she didn’t really know, and it scared her. “Listen, I’m grateful for your offer to help,” she said in a softer voice, “but I honestly think it would be better if I went.”
Christian met her eyes, the hard look on his face softening for one of the first times since she’d met him Sunday morning. She’d been surprised to find Christian fairly hostile toward the woman his best friend had promised to help, but tried not to take it personally. She wasn’t here to make friends. She was here to get Abby back.
“I grew up helping out with six little brothers and sisters,” Christian said, rising and coming to lean on the back of the empty chair across from her. “I’m good with kids, and if Abby is like most babies she sleeps like the dead once she’s down. Am I right?”
Nicky bit her lip, not wanting to admit he did indeed have a point. Whenever Abby fell asleep in her car seat, Nicky had to move heaven and earth to get her awake enough to sit up in the buggy when they went grocery shopping. It had driven Derrick so crazy she’d started riding in the backseat so she could play with Abby while they drove, keeping her awake until they reached the store.
“See. I know a few things about kids,” Christian said with a smile. “And I promise you I’ll have your baby here by the time you crazy kids get back from your kinky time.”
“Speaking of the kinky time, I’d like you dressed in about an hour.” Steve, the sound guy Jackson had convinced to help them, reached for another slice of pizza as he spoke.
He’d been eating nonstop since he arrived at the hotel room three hours ago and showed no signs of slowing down. It was obvious he came by his impressive bulk honestly. With his thick brown beard, friendly face, and giant belly, he resembled a twentysomething Santa Claus.
If Santa was a big porn fan.
Steve had grilled Nicky for over an hour for all the details on the former porn stars she worked with at the Hard Way, keeping at it until she’d fled to the deck pleading a need for fresh air. She wasn’t a prude by any means, but porn wasn’t really her thing. Why spend hours watching badly staged sexual scenarios that catered to the male of the species when you could actually be having sex?
Or maybe even making love, sharing more than a body connection with another person. The way she and Jackson did when they—
Not going there, remember?
“Do you want both of us dressed or just me?” Nicky asked, blinking away the mental images inspired by thinking of her and Jackson making love.
“Both of you. It could be tricky making sure the mics don’t show in tight clothing,” Steve said around a mouthful of pep peroni and olives. “It’s going to be tight, right? I can’t wait to see Jackson in some second-skin leather pants.”
“Thanks, Steve,” Jackson said. “And here I’d thought none of the girls on the set would date you because of that sicko porn collection you’re so proud of. I didn’t know you were gay.”
“Only for you, Jackson. Only for you.” Steve batted his eyes and all the men laughed. Even Ken, the rather quiet Asian man in charge of the cameras, chuckled into his giant mug of coffee. Nicky probably would have laughed, too, if she wasn’t so nervous.
“I think I’ll go ahead and shower and get dressed now,” she said, taking her coffee mug to the sink and dumping the last of the contents down the drain. She was already hyped up enough, the last thing she needed was more caffeine.
“Me, too. I’ll use Christian’s bathroom.” Jackson shot her a reassuring smile as they crossed paths. Nicky smiled back, trying not to think about how much more she’d enjoy the process of getting clean if they were to share a shower. She could use a little stress-relieving quickie right about now.
Who was she kidding? She could always go for a quickie if Jackson were the man in question. She craved his hands on her, his voice whispering in her ear, telling her how to please him, taking away all fear and doubt with the quiet assurance of his dominance. She really was hopeless, head over heels for another dom before she’d even started divorce proceedings with the first man who’d taken control of her life.
Maybe that was why Jackson didn’t want her anymore. He’d seen how weak she was and wanted no part of it. He’d said a submissive’s role required a lot more strength than a dom’s. Maybe he’d decided she didn’t have what it took to be his girl.
So what? If that’s what he’s decided, it’s his loss.
Nicky froze in the doorway to what had been her bedroom for the past two nights, shocked to her core. How long had it been since she’d felt enough pride in herself to assume anyone would be better off with her than without her?
Years. At least two years.
A part of her knew she had Jackson to thank for that, too. If he hadn’t made her feel so intensely desired, who knew how long it could have taken to recover her lost confidence? The guys at the Hard Way had made sure she knew her body was still worthy of interest, but it was Jack who had made the person inside the body begin to feel whole again. She owed him for that. Big-time, no matter what craziness had driven him to kidnap her in the first place.
So if he wanted out of what they’d started without a bunch of drama, she’d do her best to let him go.
Nicky sighed as she turned on the shower, ignoring the aching in her chest and the tightness at the back of her throat. She couldn’t let herself dwell on the likelihood of losing Jackson. There was too much riding on her ability to pretend they were a happy little BDSM couple.
With the help of one of Christian’s many mysterious connections, they’d scored a copy of the guest list and a pair of tickets for a special scene being held at Under My Thumb, the club in the Valley Derrick had been frequenting before he and Nicky split. Derrick Sakapatatis was on the VIP list for the “Knights in Black Leather, Ladies in White Lace” costume event.
The knowledge made her shudder. Barring some unforeseen change of plans, she’d be seeing her husband in a few hours. But this time she wouldn’t be alone. She’d be accompanied by her new dom, a man determined to help her get custody of her daughter. Though they weren’t going to let Derrick in on that fact right away.
The plan was for her and Jackson to engage in some very public play, doing their best to capture Derrick’s attention and hopefully inspire some good old-fashioned jealousy, a tactic Nicky was cautiously optimistic would work.
Even though he’d found her undesirable for the past couple of years, that didn’t mean Derrick was ready to see her serving another man. After all, she was the one who’d left him and she knew how that stung. Above all else, Derrick craved control of the people in his life. That craving had even led to an offer to take her back the day he’d tracked her down at her new apartment. It was only after she refused that he’d flown into a rage and snatched Abby from her crib.
So hopefully he’d get nice and angry when he saw Nicky letting Jackson do so many of those things she’d never wanted him to do to her in public. Because the angrier he was, the more likely he would be to incriminate himself. On the off chance the threats he’d made had been a heat-of-the-moment thing, they needed him nice and heated tonight.
Then, once his temper was boiling, she’d fan the flames by asking him to step outside for a talk. A talk in which she’d tell him all about her new knight in shining armor and do her damnedest to get any threats he made on tape.
Once that was accomplished, the men monitoring the camera and sound feeds from a nearby van would call Christian and give him the go signal. He’d be on the move from his location near Derrick’s house seconds later. Even if Derrick left the club right after his chat with Nicky, Christian would still have plenty of time to get in and get Abby and get out before Derrick arrived home.
They’d decided it was too risky to wait and go after Abby a night or two after Nicky and Jackson’s appearance at the club. Derrick would be on his guard and suspecting something from his soon-to-be ex. If he hadn’t changed the locks and security code previously, he certainly would then, and that would make gaining access to the home that much trickier and illegal.
This was the best plan they could come up with and it seemed to be a good one.
“Then why are you so nervous?” Nicky asked her reflection in the steamy mirror as she stripped out of her white T-shirt and jeans.
Was it the chance of failure? The fear that she wouldn’t really be holding Abby by the end of the night? Was it anxiety over seeing Derrick for the first time in weeks?
Or maybe it was the way her heart rate accelerated when she looked at the white, nearly see-through peek-a-boo chemise and matching frilly shorts she’d be wearing in front of an entire room of people. They hung on the rod near the hotel towels, taunting her.
Even in her club days, she’d never been the type to go to a scene so scantily dressed. Leather shorts and a tank top with thigh-high boots had been more her style. She’d feel naked in the outfit Jackson had picked out for her. And even more exposed because he had been the one to choose the ensemble. It was obviously the kind of thing he would have wanted his girl to wear.
Tonight she would be his girl. He would finally touch her, tease her, dominate her, for what might very well be the last time. And he’d do it all in front of a room full of people.
Public displays weren’t usually her brand of kink, but Nicky vowed she was going to make the most of the coming hours with Jackson. Nerves be damned. She wasn’t going to let her last chance to be mastered by Jack slip through her fingers. She had to put on a good show for Abby’s sake, and she needed to feel Jackson’s strong hands upon her for her own sake. She needed the chance to say good-bye with more than words, to have one last kiss, one more chance to bask in the bliss of pleasuring the man she loved.
God, she did love him. It hadn’t been some madness inspired by their decidedly odd weekend. The feeling was still there now, simmering inside of her, growing stronger every day.
“Nicky?” Jackson’s voice at the door made her jump and her heart race a little faster.
What was he doing here? Had he decided a team shower made more sense as well?
Before she could second-guess herself, Nicky turned to the door without bothering to wrap up in a towel. She was still wearing her bra and panties, and it wasn’t like Jackson hadn’t seen everything she had to offer.
“Hey. What’s up?” She opened the door, breath catching to see Jack standing in front of her wearing nothing but his faded black jeans.
His massive chest was bare, every muscle sharply delineated from his morning workout at the hotel gym. It was hard as hell to resist the urge to lean forward and trace the lines of his six-pack with her tongue. She wanted to taste the light salt of his skin, wanted to kiss her way past his navel while her fingers worked the close of his jeans. It felt like ages since he’d had his hand fisted in her hair and his cock down her throat. She wanted to feel his hot, steely length shoving between her lips again, wanted to—
“Um, Ken said. . .” Jackson’s voice trailed off, his breath rushing out between his parted lips.
His dark gaze met hers and Nicky had no doubt he knew exactly what she’d been thinking. He swallowed hard and let his eyes flick down to take in her simple white bra and cotton panties. They weren’t nearly as scandalous as what she’d be wearing tonight, but apparently Jackson found them plenty interesting.
Nicky smiled as she watched the crotch of his jeans grow tighter. “Ken said?”
“He said to make sure to wear your hair up,” Jackson said, his eyes lingering on her breasts until Nicky’s nipples pulled tight inside her bra. God, he could make her ache with just a look, make her pussy slick without laying a hand upon her. “The cameras are hidden in the earrings he brought and he doesn’t want your hair getting in the way.”
“Okay. Not a problem.” She stood in the doorway, unmoving, wondering if she should risk making the first move. “Is there anything else?”
“No. Nothing else.” He shook his head and stepped back, his gaze dropping to the floor. Nicky’s heart sank in spite of herself. They were going to be together in a couple of hours, she should just suck it up.
But in a couple of hours they were going to be putting on a show for Derrick. She wanted Jackson to touch her before the pretense, to let her know he still felt something for her. Even if it was only lust.
“Jackson, I—”
He was gone before she could finish her sentence, fleeing from the bedroom like his hair was on fire. That was how desperate he was to get away from her. His cock might still respond to the sight of her nearly naked body, but that was the end of it. Jackson didn’t want her anymore. It was as if he’d completely forgotten the passion that burned so hot between them just a few short days ago.
“Then I’ll just have to make sure he remembers,” Nicky whispered as she closed the door and flung her bra and underwear onto the floor.
She stepped into the shower, determined to scrub, soap, shave, and loofah herself into a state of unparalleled desirability. She’d show Jackson what he was missing and give him a night he’d never forget.
Even if she couldn’t change his heart, at least she could make certain she would haunt his mind. Jackson would never enter another BDSM club again without thinking of what they’d done together. She was going to make sure of it, or die trying.