Chapter Seventeen
Nicky could barely breathe as she followed Jackson back to the spanking bench she’d had her eye on a few minutes earlier. Her mouth went dry and her lips buzzed. Her body felt numb except for where Jackson’s hand squeezed hers, and she figured there was a better than decent chance she was going to pass out.
She couldn’t do this. Not really. She’d been a fool to think anything about this night would be bearable, let alone enjoyable.
Derrick was in the other room. If he swiveled around on his bar stool, he’d be able to see her without even leaving the lounge. There was no way in hell she’d be able to concentrate on obeying Jackson, let alone enjoy what he was going to do to her. Not knowing her ex could be watching. What had seemed like such a fantastic idea in theory was proving very, very disturbing in real life.
She already felt violated by Derrick in so many ways. Now she wanted to add this to the list? Let him watch while she submitted to another man, the very thing he’d always wanted her to do when they were first together? No matter how much she’d wanted to please him back in the early days, she’d never been able to bring herself to do as he asked.
She was a one-man girl, always had been. Once she fell for a guy, her ability to find any other male sexually attractive was severely impaired. She couldn’t let a man she wasn’t attracted to touch her, not even to please the man she loved. The idea made her skin crawl, and reminded her of those nights back in Carson City, when Jackson and Phil’s wife wouldn’t be home from work until late, when she’d be alone with Phil and the younger kids.
Her foster father’s “attentions” hadn’t crossed the line until she was almost sixteen, and she’d always managed to escape anything worse than a few forced kisses and a little inappropriate fondling, but she’d known it was only a matter of time before his advances escalated. That’s why she’d run the morning after Jackson left the house for good. It was either get out or put out, there’d been no doubt in her mind.
And there was no way she could have told Jackson. He would have gone crazy and gotten himself thrown in jail or worse. Besides, she’d been ashamed to tell him Phil sometimes had his hands on her only hours after she and Jack had been together. It made her feel dirty, as if she were the one who had done something wrong. Even years later, grown up and with psychology courses under her belt that should have taught her otherwise, she still felt some of that shame every time she thought of those last nights in her foster father’s home.
Jesus. Nothing like thoughts of Derrick and Phil to kill every last shred of her desire. This just wasn’t going to work.
“Jackson, wait.” She tugged on the hand he held, but he didn’t slow his stride for a moment. “Maybe I should just go talk to him and forget about this. If I tell him I’m with someone else, I’m sure he’ll—”
“Quiet, don’t speak again until I give you permission.” The command was thrown over his shoulder, but Nicky could hear the determination in his tone loud and clear. She’d told him she was certain she wanted him to dominate her, and he’d taken her at her word.
There was no turning back now.
The knowledge awakened a thread of heat low in her body. She wasn’t nearly ready to mount the bench Jackson now circled with a critical glare, but neither did she want to vomit at the very thought of sex. Jack had banished her dark thoughts with a single sentence. It just went to prove what she’d been thinking since they left the cabin— he was the only man capable of mastering her completely, for now, for always. For life.
Too bad he only wanted a one-night stand.
“Listen, I don’t know—”
“Quiet,” Jackson ordered in his low, silky dom voice, staring at her over the rounded leather hump of the spanking bench.
It looked almost like one of those pommel horses gymnasts vaulted over, but with a ledge on either side to support the knees. In a few minutes she could be straddling the thing, her ass presented for Jackson’s disciplining pleasure. The very thought made her pussy plump inside her white thong panties, no matter how many reservations she still had.
“Don’t make me ask a third time. If you defy me, this isn’t going to work.”
Nicky’s breath rushed out through her teeth and she darted a quick look into the lounge. Derrick was still at the bar, and still had his back to them. Thank god.
“Look at me.” Nicky obeyed, gazing up at Jackson, feeling her awareness of the outside world fade a bit as soon as their eyes connected. “Don’t look at him, don’t think about him. He’s not here. There’s no one else here. No one except you and me. Do you understand?”
Nicky nodded her head, feeling her nipples draw tight against the thin fabric of her shirt. Just the sound of Jackson’s voice, so deep it seemed to vibrate against her skin, was enough to turn her on. The electricity that never failed to make an appearance when they were together arced between them, making her breath come faster, making her hands itch. She wanted to feel him, to run her fingers over the bulge in his leather pants, to feel his sex growing hotter, harder under her touch.
“Come here,” Jackson commanded. “I want you to do something for me before we start.”
Nicky circled to his side of the bench, turning her back on the lounge, which immediately helped her concentrate her attention on Jack and only Jack. From this position she could be any blond woman; Derrick would never guess her identity simply from seeing her from behind. She hadn’t been to a club in years, since before she was pregnant with Abby, and he certainly wouldn’t be expecting her at a VIP event.
“Kneel.”
She obeyed, a thrill of desire sweeping over her skin as soon as her knees hit the floor in front of Jackson. It had been so long since she’d knelt in front of a man and meant the act of submission with every bone in her body. Derrick had demanded she meet him at the door every day on her hands and knees when he got home from work, but her heart had never been in it, especially not the last couple of years.
But with Jackson, it was like her entire being lit up from the inside. Blinding need, hot and thick, consumed her in a suffocating rush. Her skin suddenly felt too small and the aching inside her too big. Her pussy clamped down around its own emptiness as her nipples puckered so tightly they began to sting. Suddenly her mind flooded with images of what it would be like to meet this man at the door every night.
One night he might demand she take his cock between her lips, service him with her mouth until he jerked and pulsed, spilling cum down her throat. Another night, he might demand she strip and get on all fours. Then he’d drop to his knees behind her and shove his way into her ass and fuck her— hard— all while telling her how much he’d missed his dirty little slut while he was at work.
Call her twisted, but just imagining the moment made her breathless.
“Do you like kneeling for me?” he asked, the tone of his voice making it clear he already knew the answer.
“Yes, sir,” she said, marveling at how right it felt to call him “sir.” It was amazing how easily they transitioned from the easy banter of old friends to the world of the dom and his obedient sub. It made her long even more fiercely for the chance to find out if their relationship could have lasted for the long haul.
“Does it make your pussy wet?” he asked, bringing her mind back to more pleasurable things. She wasn’t going to think about their inevitable separation anymore. From now on, she was going to be focused on enjoying the present.
She sucked in a deep breath and let it out, allowing her mind to clear as she did so. “Yes, sir.”
“Show me. Touch yourself,” he said, in a whisper so soft only she could hear.
Hand trembling with excitement, Nicky slid her fingers down the front of her shorts, inside her panties. She had only the tiniest tuft of hair left on her mound after her shaving efforts in the shower, but the feel of that coarse fuzz against her fingers was unbearably arousing. Touching those neatly trimmed hairs meant she was only a few centimeters away from slick, wet flesh, from where she was already dripping with need for Jackson.
She moaned as her fingertips eased past her clit, throwing her head back, feeling her hair brush her neck as she tipped her face toward the ceiling. Now Jackson would be able to see what it did to her, see how hot it made her to touch herself while he watched.
Nicky dipped first one finger and then two into the cream between her legs, slowly fucking herself with her hand, amazed at how close she was to orgasm. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so aroused, even during the time she’d spent with Jackson in his cabin. She was hyperaware of every inch of her sensitive flesh, of Jackson standing over her, of the couple a few feet away and the noise the female sub made as her partner tied her to the Saint Andrew’s cross on the wall.
“Open your eyes.”
She did, meeting Jackson’s with another moan. Just looking at him was nearly enough to make her come, right then. The heat in his gaze sent a shock of electricity zinging into nerve endings she hadn’t even known she possessed. Her hand moved faster of its own accord, coaxing more cream from her body, until her fingers were coated with her own sticky arousal and her muscles trembled from being so near the edge of release.
But she knew he wouldn’t let her tumble over. He was too good at his work.
“Stop. Show me your hand.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, she pulled her fingers from her pussy and held them up in the air in front of her. Jackson gripped her wrist, steadying her, then leaned down and sucked both fingers into his mouth, moaning in approval.
Nicky watched him clean every inch of her damp flesh, captivated by the profound pleasure so evident on his face. The man genuinely loved the intimate flavor of her body. It wasn’t a declaration of love and she knew there were people who might even find what Jackson was doing repulsive, but it still made her throat tight with emotion to watch him taste her so thoroughly before pulling away with reluctance.
Jackson made every part of her feel beautiful, desired— inside and out. When he looked at her with such obvious adoration, she felt like she could do anything, would do anything he asked to make sure the light in his eyes never faded.
It might have been a frightening realization if they were planning a future together, knowing she was so eager to obey Jackson’s every command. But they only had tonight, so the thought just made her feel. . . ready.
“You’re ready.” Jackson echoed her thoughts, his eyes darkening, letting her know he was also ready to get down to business. “Get up on the bench, hands down at the end with the cuffs.”
Adrenaline dumped into Nicky’s system as she climbed up on the bench, straddling the padded middle and positioning her knees on either side. The second her ass was in the air and her wrists reached down to where Jackson waited with the gold handcuffs, her mind began to soften, her awareness narrowing to the man cuffing her in place.
The familiar buzz of excitement and relaxation, anticipation and contentment, pulsed through her veins, making her feel far more intoxicated than an entire bottle of the brandy they’d sipped at the bar could have ever accomplished. By the time Jackson finished with her hands and smoothed one large, warm hand down her back, all the way to her rump, she was beyond rational thought, nothing but a bundle of nerves ready to respond.
“You may speak when asked a direct question,” Jackson said as he arranged her clothing with slow, deliberate movements.
First he tugged both sides of the loose-fitting satin shorts up, exposing the cheeks of her ass to the cool air, making the fabric between her legs pull tight against her clit. It was just enough stimulation to make her gasp and tremble, wishing it was Jackson’s fingers rubbing against her instead.
“Do you like having your ass bared for me?”
“Yes, sir.” Nicky sighed in pure pleasure. “So much.”
“What about your tits? Would you like me to see them? To touch them?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, the words turning to a moan as Jackson’s hands moved to her chemise, pulling at the neckline until her breasts sprang free, her hypersensitive nipples brushing against the fabric enough to send a bolt of desire surging between her legs.
“I love these tits. I love how your nipples feel in my mouth.” He captured one nipple in his hand as he spoke, plucking and tugging until Nicky’s breath came in little pants and needy sounds issued from the back of her throat. “I love to suck them while you ride my cock. Do you like that?”
Jackson transferred his attentions to her other breast, pinching and rolling. Frissons of excitement shot between her legs, making her voice shake when she finally managed to speak. “Yes, sir. I want you inside of me. Please.”
“I’m not going to change my mind, Nick. We agreed on the terms of engagement before we left the hotel,” he said, both hands busy with her nipples, making her head spin and things low in her body twist and ache.
“Please, Jackson,” she begged, certain she would lose her mind if she didn’t feel him filling every inch of the horrible emptiness between her legs. “Please, fuck me. I’ve changed my mind. Please, I—”
“No. And you should have known better than to ask.” His fingers abandoned her breasts, making her moan with a mixture of disappointment and relief. She couldn’t have taken much more without losing her mind from want, but she still felt the absence of his touch like a physical blow. “I’m disappointed.”
“I wasn’t asking, I was begging,” Nicky said, doing her best to explain herself. “Jackson, please, there isn’t—”
“You were only supposed to speak when answering a direct question,” Jackson said as he tucked her breasts back into her shirt. Seconds later he was circling around behind her, headed toward the selection of paddles and whips on the wall. “Now, you’ll have to be punished.”
Excitement rushed across her skin, sharp and electric.
God. Yes. This was so perfect. This was exactly how she’d always dreamed a scene could be, each moment flowing into the next almost like they were working from a script. She should have known Jackson wasn’t the kind to go straight to the paddle without any buildup. He needed a reason to spank her and he knew she needed it, too. He dominated the way he made love, with just the perfect amount of foreplay and a commitment to the business at hand that made her skin feel like it was going to melt clean off her bones.
“Tilt your hips, show me my ass.” Nicky obeyed, arching her back, revealing as much of her bottom as she could while still wearing her shorts. “Beautiful. For a disobedient little slut, you have a gorgeous ass.”
His hand descended on her ass a second later with a swift smack that made Nicky gasp and her entire body come alive. Just the sound of skin making sharp contact with skin was a certified aphrodisiac.
“I was going to use one of the paddles, but I think my hand is better for this job, don’t you think?” he asked, punctuating his words with stinging slaps to both mounds of her ass. The pain accentuated her pleasure, intensifying the drunken feeling spinning through her head.
“Yes. Sir.” Nicky’s eyes slid closed and a shudder of bliss shook her body. “More, sir.”
“Don’t speak unless answering a question, slut.” He intensified his efforts, his hand falling faster, harder, making her cry out and a wild laugh escape her lips.
She couldn’t remember ever feeling so high after only a few minutes in restraints. It made her wonder what undiscovered territory she and Jack might find if they had hours to play, if they worked their way through the rooms of equipment, until they were both so unbearably aroused Jackson couldn’t resist fucking her against the wall.
“This is making you wetter, isn’t it?” Jackson asked, his voice caressing her sensitized flesh.
“Why don’t you see for yourself, sir?”
“You want my fingers in your pussy?” He slapped her again, and again, until her already reddened ass burned. But it was a sweet heat, driving her excitement to a place where pain and pleasure fused into one all-consuming need. The need to feel him touching her, owning her, punished her and blessed her all at the same bliss-inducing time, until her entire body trembled with excitement.
“Yes, sir. Yes, please, I—” Her words ended in a cry as Jackson shoved aside the scrap of fabric covering her sex and shoved his fingers inside her.
He set a punishing rhythm, driving in and out with first two fingers and then three, never ceasing his work on her stinging cheeks for a moment. Low, almost guttural sounds filled the air, but it took several seconds for Nicky to realize they were coming from her own mouth. And even when she did, she couldn’t bring herself to care. Jackson brought out the animal in her, the sexual creature who knew no shame when so close to complete and utter satisfaction.
“Come for me, slut. Come on my fingers. I want to feel my pussy—”
“Jackson!” Her lips remembered how to speak his name, though it certainly wasn’t due to any help from her mind. Her head was nothing but a mass of swirling colors and flashing light, oblivious to anything but pure, overwhelming pleasure.
The orgasm hit hard and fast, wrenching things low in her body until it felt as if the bliss might break her. Her entire body exploded all at once, every inch of her skin on fire, every nerve ending sending messages of ecstasy rocketing up her spinal cord, overloading her brain, making her scream. She felt as if she’d been plunged into freezing water, the shock of the moment was so intense.
“Yes, god, yes.” Jackson’s soft words of approval were the first thing she heard as the ringing in her ears subsided and her soul reconnected with her body.
It felt as if she’d been in the grips of the fierce pleasure he’d given her for hours, like she’d lost time somewhere between when he’d told her to come and she drifted down to earth, coming to her senses enough to realize his fingers still played in and out of her slickness. It was a pleasure blackout, induced solely from the skill of the man who worked her body and mind, no controlled substances required. She’d heard about this kind of thing, but never experienced the phenomenon, never known how elated and terrified it could make her feel.
She’d truly been out of her mind, totally dependent on her dom to care for her while she explored the boundaries of how much pleasure one body could take. No matter how scary that was on one level, Nicky knew she was going to crave the experience again and again. She was hooked with one go, like a heroin addict in the making.
“Was that as good as it looked?” Jackson pulled his fingers from between her legs and repositioned her shorts before leaning down to whisper the words into her hair.
“Better,” she said, shivering as he dropped kisses along her bare shoulder. A simple kiss shouldn’t be able to make her entire body begin to ache once more. But it did. He did. “I love you, Jackson.”
One large hand smoothed her hair out of her face with a tenderness that threatened to break her. “I love you, too, Nick. I always, always will.”
And then he kissed her, softly, gently, making love to her lips with his. In every caress, in the languid way his tongue stroked into her mouth, she felt the truth of his words. He loved her, in the same soul-shattering way she loved him. It was going to cut him apart to leave her, make him feel like a piece of him he’d only just reclaimed was being ripped away.
But he was still going to do it. He was still going to leave. That truth was in his kiss, as well.
“I think it’s just about showtime, babe,” he murmured against her lips, as he typed a combination of numbers into the remote control masquerading as his watch. “Are you ready?”
It took a few seconds for Nicky to remember what Jackson was talking about. She’d been so lost in the pleasure he’d given her, she’d forgotten all about Derrick. But now she remembered, and for some reason felt stronger after submitting so completely to Jack, nearly prepared to face the man who had been the monster in her bed for longer than she should have allowed.
“I’ll be ready in a second,” Nicky said. “Let’s get these cuffs off.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He squeezed her hip, a comforting gesture that sent another surge of confidence sweeping over her. That subtle touch reminded her she wasn’t alone. She had major backup, at least for tonight, and she was ready to face her demons.
Good thing, too, because Jackson had just started to work on freeing her hands when a familiar voice sounded from her left. “Well, well, Nicole. What a good little slut you’ve become. For someone else.”