THE INKPOT MONKEY
John Connolly
Mr Edgerton was suffering from writer's block; it was,
he quickly grew to realize, a most distressing complaint. A touch of
influenza might lay a man up for a day or two, yet still his mind could
continue its ruminations. Gout might leave him racked with pain, yet still
his fingers could grasp a pen and turn pain to pennies. But this blockage,
this barrier to all progress, had left Mr Edgerton a virtual cripple. His
mind would not function, his hands would not write, and his bills would not
be paid. In a career spanning the best part of two decades he had never
before encountered such an obstacle to his vocation. He had, in that time,
produced five moderately successful, if rather indifferent, novels; a book
of memoirs that, in truth, owed more to invention than experience; and a
collection of poetry that could most charitably be described as having
stretched the capacities of free verse to the limits of their acceptability.
Mr Edgerton made his modest living from writing by the
yard, based on the unstated belief that if he produced a sufficient quantity
of material then something of quality was bound to creep in, if only in
accordance with the law of averages. Journalism, ghostwriting, versifying,
editorializing; nothing was beneath his limited capabilities.
Yet, for the past three months the closest he had come
to a writing project was the construction of his weekly grocery list. A
veritable tundra of empty white pages stretched before him, the gleaming nib
of his pen poised above them like a reluctant explorer. His mind was a
blank, the creative juices sapped from it, leaving behind only a dried husk
of frustration and bewilderment. He began to fear his writing desk, once his
beloved companion but now reduced to the status of a faithless lover, and it
pained him to look upon it. Paper, ink, desk, imagination, all had betrayed
him, leaving him lost and alone.
To further complicate matters, Mr Edgerton's wallet
had begun to feel decidedly lightweight of late, and nothing will dampen a
man's ardour for life more than an empty pocket. Like a rodent gripped in
the coils of a great constricting snake, he found that the more he struggled
against his situation, the tighter the pressure upon him grew. Necessity,
wrote Ovid, is the mother of invention. For Mr Edgerton, desperation was
proving to be the father of despair.
And so, once again, Mr Edgerton found himself
wandering the streets of the city, vainly hunting for inspiration like a
hungry leech seeking blood. In time, he came to Charing Cross Road, but the
miles of shelved books only depressed him further, especially since he could
find none of his own among their number. Head down, he cut through Cecil
Court and made his way into Covent Garden in the faint hope that the
vibrancy of the markets might spur his sluggish subconscious into action. He
was almost at the Magistrates' Court when something caught his eye in the
window of a small antique shop. There, partially hidden behind a framed
portrait of General Gordon and a stuffed magpie, was a most remarkable
inkpot.
It was silver, and about four inches tall, with a
lacquered base adorned by Chinese characters. But what was most striking
about it was the small, mummified monkey that perched upon its lid, its
clawed toes clasped upon the rim and its dark eyes gleaming in the summer
sunlight. It was obviously an infant of its species, perhaps even a foetus
of some kind, for it was no more than three inches in height, and
predominantly grey in colour, except for its face, which was blackened round
the mouth as if the monkey had been sipping from its own inkpot. It really
was a most ghastly creature, but Mr Edgerton had acquired the civilized
man's taste for the grotesque and he quickly made his way into the darkened
shop to enquire about the nature of the item in question.
The owner of the business proved to be almost as
distasteful in appearance as the creature that had attracted Mr Edgerton's
attention, as though the man were somehow father to the monkey. His teeth
were too numerous for his mouth, his mouth too large for his face, and his
head too great for his body. Combined with a pronounced stoop to his back,
his aspect was that of one constantly on the verge of toppling over. He also
smelled decidedly odd, and Mr Edgerton quickly concluded that he was
probably in the habit of sleeping in his clothes, a deduction that briefly
led the afflicted writer to an unwelcome speculation upon the nature of the
body that lay concealed beneath the layers of unwashed clothing.
Nevertheless, the proprietor proved to be a veritable
font of knowledge about the items in his possession, including the article
that had brought Mr Edgerton into his presence. The mummified primate was,
he informed the writer, an inkpot monkey, a creature of Chinese mythology.
According to the myth, the monkey provided artistic inspiration in return
for the residues of ink left in the bottom of the inkwell.
Mr Edgerton was a somewhat superstitious (and, it must
be said, sentimental) man: he still wore, much to the amusement of his
peers, his mother's old charm bracelet, a rag-tag bauble of dubious taste
that she found one day while walking upon the seashore and had subsequently
bequeathed to him upon her death, along with a set of antique combs, now
pawned, and a small sum of money, now spent. Among the items dangling from
its links was a small gold monkey. It had always fascinated him as a child,
and the discovery of a similar relic in the window of the antique store
seemed to him nothing less than a sign from the Divine. As a man who was
profoundly in need of inspiration from any source, and who had recently been
considering opium or cheap gin as possible catalysts, he required no further
convincing. He paid over money he could ill afford for the faint hope of
redemption offered by the curiosity, and made his way back to his small
apartments with the inkpot and its monkey tucked beneath his arm in a cloak
of brown paper.
Mr Edgerton occupied a set of rooms above a
tobacconist's shop on Marylebone High Street, a recent development forced
upon him by his straitened circumstances. Although Mr Edgerton did not
himself partake of the noble weed, his walls were yellowed by the fumes that
regularly wended their way between the cracks in the floorboards, and his
clothing and furnishings reeked of assorted cigars, cigarettes, pipe
tobaccos, and even the more eyewatering forms of snuff. His dwelling was,
therefore, more than a little depressing, and would almost certainly have
provided Mr Edgerton with the impetus necessary to improve his finances were
he not so troubled by the absence of his muse. Indeed, he had few
distractions, for most of his writer friends had deserted him. They had
silently, if reluctantly, tolerated his modest success. Now, with the taint
of failure upon him, they relished his discomfort from a suitably discreet
distance.
That evening, Mr Edgerton sat at his desk once again
and stared at the paper before him. And stared. And stared. Before him, the
inkpot monkey squatted impassively, its eyes reflecting the lamplight and
lending its mummified form an intimation of life that was both distracting
and unsettling. Mr Edgerton poked at it tentatively with his pen, leaving a
small black mark on its chest. Like most writers, he had a shallow knowledge
of a great many largely useless matters. Among these was anthropology, a
consequence of one of his earlier works, an evolutionary fantasy entitled
The Monkey's Uncle. (The Times had described it
as 'largely adequate, if inconsequential'. Mr Edgerton, grateful to be
reviewed at all, was rather pleased.) Yet, despite searching through three
reference volumes, Mr Edgerton had been unable to identify the origins of
the inkpot monkey and had begun to take this as a bad omen.
After another unproductive hour had gone by, its
tedium broken only by the spread of an occasional ink blot upon the paper,
Mr Edgerton rose and determined to amuse himself by emptying, and then
refilling, his pen. Still devoid of inspiration, he wondered if there was
some part of the arcane ritual of fuelling one's pen from the inkpot that he
had somehow neglected to perform. He reached down and gently grasped the
monkey in order to raise the lid, but something pricked his skin painfully.
He drew back his hand immediately and examined the wounded digit. A small,
deep cut lay across the pad of his index finger, and blood from the abrasion
was running down the length of his pen and congregating at the nib, from
which it dripped into the inkpot with soft, regular splashes. Mr Edgerton
began to suck the offended member, meanwhile turning his attention to the
monkey in an effort to ascertain the cause of his injury. The lamplight
revealed a small raised ridge behind the creature's neck, where a section of
curved spine had burst through its tattered fur. A little of Mr Edgerton's
blood could be perceived on the yellowed pallor of the bone.
The unfortunate writer retrieved a small bandage from
his medicine cabinet, then cleaned and bound his finger before resuming his
seat at his desk. He regarded the monkey warily as he filled his pen, then
put it to paper and began to write. At first, the familiarity of the act
overcame any feelings of surprise at its sudden return, so that Mr Edgerton
had dispensed with two pages of close script and was about to embark upon a
third before he paused and looked in puzzlement first at his pen, then at
the paper. He reread what he had written, the beginning of a tale of a man
who sacrifices love at the altar of success, and found it more than
satisfactory; it was, in fact, as fine as anything he had ever written,
although he was baffled as to the source of his inspiration. Nevertheless,
he shrugged and continued writing, grateful that his old talent had
apparently woken from its torpor. He wrote long into the night, refilling
his pen as required, and so bound up was he in his exertions that he failed
entirely to notice that his wound had reopened and was dripping blood on to
pen and page and, at those moments when he replenished his instrument, into
the depths of the small Chinese inkpot.
Mr Edgerton slept late the following morning, and
awoke to find himself weakened by his efforts of the night before. It was,
he supposed, the consequence of months of inactivity, and after coffee and
some hot buttered toast he felt much refreshed. He returned to his desk to
find that the inkpot monkey had fallen from its perch and now lay on its
back amid his pencils and pens. Gingerly, Mr Edgerton lifted it from the
desk and found that it weighed considerably more than the inkpot itself and
that physics, rather than any flaw in the inkpot's construction, had played
its part in dislodging the monkey from its seat. He also noted that the
creature's fur was far more lustrous than it had appeared in the window of
the antique shop, and now shimmered healthily in the morning sunlight.
And then, quite suddenly, Mr Edgerton felt the monkey
move. It stretched wearily, as though waking from some long slumber, and its
mouth opened in a wide yawn, displaying small blunt teeth. Alarmed, Mr
Edgerton dropped the monkey and heard it emit a startled squeak as it landed
on the desk. It lay there for a moment or two, then slowly raised itself on
its haunches and regarded Mr Edgerton with a slightly hurt expression before
ambling over to the inkpot and squatting down gently beside it. With its
left hand, it raised the lid of the inkpot and waited patiently for Mr
Edgerton to fill his pen. For a time, the bewildered writer was unable to
move, so taken aback was he at this turn of events. Then, when it became
clear that he had no other option but to begin writing or go mad, he reached
for his pen and filled it from the well. The monkey watched him impassively
until the reservoir was replenished and Mr Edgerton had begun to write, then
promptly fell fast asleep.
Despite his unnerving encounter with the newly
animated monkey, Mr Edgerton put in a most productive day and quickly found
himself with the bulk of five chapters written, none of them requiring more
than a cursory rewrite. It was only when the light had begun to fade and Mr
Edgerton's arm had started to ache that the monkey awoke and padded softly
across a virgin page to where Mr Edgerton's pen lay in his hand. The monkey
grasped his index finger with its tiny hands, then placed its mouth against
the cut and began to suck. It took Mr Edgerton a moment to realize what was
occurring, at which point he rose with a shout and shook the monkey from his
finger. It bounced against the inkpot, striking its head soundly upon its
base, and lay unmoving upon a sheet of paper.
At once, Mr Edgerton reached for it and raised it in
the palm of his left hand. The monkey was obviously stunned, for its eyes
were now half-closed and it moved its head slowly from side to side as it
tried to focus. Instantly, Mr Edgerton was seized with regret at his hasty
action. He had endangered the monkey, which he now acknowledged to be the
source of his new-found inspiration. Without it, he would be lost. Torn
between fear and disgust, Mr Edgerton reluctantly made his decision: he
squeezed together his thumb and forefinger, causing a droplet of blood to
emerge from the cut and then, his gorge rising, allowed it to drip into the
monkey's mouth.
The effect was instantaneous. The little mammal's eyes
opened fully, it rose on to its haunches, and then reached for, and grasped,
the wounded finger. There it suckled happily, undisturbed by the revolted Mr
Edgerton, until it had taken its fill, whereupon it burped contentedly and
resumed its slumbers. Mr Edgerton gently laid it beside the inkpot and then,
taking up his pen, wrote another two chapters before retiring early to his
bed.
Thus it continued. Each day Mr Edgerton rose, fed the
monkey a little blood, wrote, fed the monkey once again in the evening,
wrote some more, then went to bed and slept like a dead man. The monkey
appeared to require little in the way of affection or attention beyond its
regular feeds, although it would often touch fascinatedly the miniature of
itself that dangled from Mr Edgerton's wrist. Mr Edgerton, in turn, decided
to ignore the fact that the monkey was growing at quite an alarming rate, so
that it was now obliged to sit beside him on a small chair while he worked
and had taken to dozing on the sofa after its meals. In fact, Mr Edgerton
wondered if it might not be possible to train the monkey to do some light
household duties, thereby allowing him more time to write, although when he
suggested this to the monkey through the use of primitive sign language it
grew quite irate and locked itself in the bathroom for an entire afternoon.
In fact, it was not until Mr Edgerton returned home
one afternoon from a visit to his publisher to find the inkpot monkey trying
on one of his suits that he began to experience serious doubts about their
relationship. He had noticed some new and especially disturbing changes in
the monkey. It had started to moult, leaving clumps of unsightly grey hair
on the carpets and exposing sections of pink-white skin. It had also lost
some weight from its face; that, or its bone structure had begun to alter,
for it now presented a more angular aspect than it had previously done. In
addition, the monkey was now over four feet tall and Mr Edgerton had been
forced to open veins in his wrists and legs in order to keep it sated. The
more Mr Edgerton considered the matter, the more convinced he became that
the creature was undergoing some significant transformation. Yet there were
still chapters of the book to be completed, and the writer was reluctant to
alienate his mascot. So he suffered in silence, sleeping now for much of the
day and emerging only to write for increasingly short periods of time before
returning to his bed and collapsing into a dreamless slumber.
On the 29th day of August, he delivered his completed
manuscript to his publisher. On the 4th of September, which was Mr
Edgerton's birthday, he was gratified to receive a most delightful
communication from his editor, praising him as a genius and promising that
this novel, long anticipated and at last delivered, would place Mr Edgerton
in the pantheon of literary greats and assure him of a most comfortable and
well-regarded old age.
That night, as Mr Edgerton prepared to drift off into
contented sleep, he felt a tug at his wrist and looked down to see the
inkpot monkey fastened upon it, its cheeks pulsing as it sucked away at the
cut. Tomorrow, thought Mr Edgerton, tomorrow I will deal with it. Tomorrow I
will have it taken to the zoo and our bargain will be concluded for ever.
But as he grew weaker and his eyes closed, the inkpot monkey raised its head
and Mr Edgerton realized at last that no zoo would ever take the inkpot
monkey, for the inkpot monkey had become something very different indeed . .
.
Mr Edgerton's book was published the following year,
to universal acclaim. A reception was held in his honour by his grateful
publishers, to which the brightest lights of London's literary community
flocked to pay tribute. It would be Mr Edgerton's final public appearance.
From that day forth, he was never again seen in London and retired to the
small country estate that he purchased with the royalties from his great,
valedictory work. Even his previous sentimentality appeared to be in the
past, for his beloved charm bracelet could now be found in the window of a
small antique shop in Covent Garden where, due to some imaginative pricing,
it seemed destined to remain.
That night, speeches were made, and an indifferent
poem recited by one of Mr Edgerton's new admirers, but the great man himself
remained silent throughout. When called upon to give his speech, he replied
simply with a small but polite bow to his guests, accepting their applause
with a gracious smile, then returned to toying with the small gold monkey
that hung from a chain around his neck.
And while all those around him drank the finest
champagne and feasted on stuffed quail and smoked salmon, Mr Edgerton could
be found sitting quietly in a corner, stroking some unruly hairs on his
chest and munching contentedly on a single ripe banana.