The Infinite Matrix | Michael Swanwick & Francisco Goya | The Sleep Of

Reason 57

04.10.03

the sleep of reason

by Michael Swanwick

with illustrations by

Francisco JosÉ de Goya y Lucientes

Click image to enlarge

Digital image © copyright

Davison Art Center,

Wesleyan University

DAC permission required

for any other use.

57. [Plate 51]

Grooming Your Nightmares

So you've decided to raise nightmares. Congratulations! Nightmares are

hardy, fast-growing, and almost impossible to kill. They thrive on

neglect, and in a pinch they'll feed on anything, even themselves. They

can't be trained or house-broken, so don't bother trying.

Your nightmares are as close to self-maintaining as makes no difference.

There's no need to give them a second thought ? though you will. You'll

obsess about them. You'll lie awake nights thinking of nothing else.

You'll neglect family, friends, and business in order to spend more time

with them.

As long as you're going to do all that, a word about their grooming...

like swanwick?

like goya?

so do we.

keep 'em sparring!

send money.

More options on the Contributions page.

T H A N K S !

People are lamentably hostile to nightmares. So it's important to present

your pets to the world in the most favorable possible light. This means

cleaning them up considerably. "Jewish Zionist conspiracy" should be

rephrased as "certain financial interests." You are not opposed to

"integration" but to "reverse discrimination." Rather than promoting

violence against gays, you are in favor of "protecting family values."

After all, heterosexuals aren't legally protected from being beaten up as

faggots. Why should anybody else be?

After you've trimmed their nails, brushed their wings, and whitened their

fangs, you'll be anxious to take your nightmares out in public. Don't

forget to dress them up first! The bigger and more brutal they are, the

more they require non-threatening garb. Think pastels. Think lace. Think

spin. "Neo-bigotry" sounds ever so much more acceptable than mere

unadorned racism. "Compassionate social Darwinism" is a circumlocution

that will get you into any club in town. And "fascism with a human face"

brings you that much closer to being able to step out the door without

being shot.

Sooner or later, you are going to want to let your little beauties off

the leash, so they can run wild. When you do there'll be no pretending

they're anything other than what they are. There'll be blood in the

streets and bodies hanging from the lampposts. Governments will topple

and cities will burn. It'll be the end of civilization as we know it.

But until that happy day, you have to live in polite society. So remember

to keep your nightmares respectable-looking.

Wash them daily. Make sure they use a deodorant.

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This is the 57th of 80 stories by Michael Swanwick written to accompany

Francisco Goya's Los Caprichos. For a listing of the most recently

available stories, go to The Sleep of Reason.

Eileen K. Gunn.

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