The Infinite Matrix | Michael Swanwick & Francisco Goya | The Sleep Of

Reason 14

05.30.02

the sleep of reason

by Michael Swanwick

with illustrations by

Francisco JosÉ de Goya y Lucientes

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Digital image © copyright

Davison Art Center,

Wesleyan University

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for any other use.

14. [Plate 37]

The Education of Young Prick

Prick the Donkey was, for all his virtues, no great shakes as a scholar.

He went to a school for well-bred asses and studied under a famous

pedantic ass, but oh, it was hard, it was hard, it was hard! Try though

he might, he could not memorize his lessons. The instant he opened his

school-book, all the answers would flee from his head.

Worse, Prick was terrified of his teacher. At exam time that solemn old

ass would glare down at him, wooden spoon ready to descend upon Prick's

head should he answer incorrectly, and tears of misery would flood

Prick's eyes. The other students laughed and jeered, of course. Youth is

so cruel! But though their barbs stung him, Prick fought not to show it.

He was brought up believing that an ass is the noblest of beasts. So he

always strove to act like one.

At last he went to his father for advice. That venerable ass snorted and

said, "Tell me, son ? What is the purpose of an education?"

Prick thought. "To learn a skill?"

"Skills are for tradesmen!" his father brayed derisively. "No, the

purpose of an education is to get a diploma, so that you may be a lawyer,

an arranger, a leader of men!"

Prick the Donkey had never thought of it that way. "But doesn't one need

to learn in order to get a degree?"

"Not necessarily," his father said. "Not if one contributes generously

enough to his school."

Overcome by his father's wisdom, Prick the Donkey could only bob his head

and bleat his gratitude.

From that day on, education was much simpler for Prick. If a class was

too difficult for him, he skipped it. If a teacher refused to give him

good grades, that worthy soon found himself transferred elsewhere. School

became as easy for Prick as everything else in his life. It was a lesson

he never forgot.

In later years, Prick made self-reliance a cornerstone of his political

philosophy. He considered himself to be, as he told anybody who would

listen, a self-made ass.

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This is the 14th of 80 stories by Michael Swanwick written to accompany

Francisco Goya's Los Caprichos. For a listing of the most recently

available stories, go to The Sleep of Reason.

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