Michael Swanwick's Periodic Table of Science Fiction

Tungsten

183.85

Light Bulb Jokes

Okay, here's one: how many characters in a science fiction story does it

take to change a light bulb?

Give up? Two. One to change the light bulb, and the other to say, "As you

know, Fred, the light bulb was invented by Thomas Edison, and operates

under the principle of ?"

Here's another one, only maybe it's not so funny. How many scientists

does it take to change a light bulb? Don't know? About ten thousand to

build the Doomsday Device and one to write the report saying that Project

Light Bulb is an enormous success and requires further funding.

Didn't like that one? How about this? How many diplomats does it take to

change a light bulb? One to lay down an ultimatum over a border dispute,

a second to pass on his head of state's threat to employ Project Light

Bulb if enemy troops cross that border, and a third to decide that the

head of state was bluffing.

Not funny, you say. Well, you're a tough audience. Try this one. How many

heads of state does it take to change a light bulb? None. Heads of state

don't change anything. Not light bulbs, not their minds, nothing.

Okay, one last joke. How many surviving human beings does it take to

change a light bulb?

About a week from now? None at all.