Michael Swanwick's Periodic Table of Science Fiction

Rhenium

186.207

Beads and Trinkets

Rhenium is rare, expensive, and difficult to obtain. Which is why, when a

field scout reported that a newly-discovered Class One industrial

civilization had a surplus of the stuff, the venerable firm of

Summergarden, Claimjumper & Ting was distinctly interested.

"The Whimsicals are a three-legged insectile race," the CFO explained to

diplomat-metallurgist Adrienne Wong-Heppworth. As always, he was careful

not to use the words Dragon Lady in her presence. "They refine copper

from porphyry copper ores, and then extract the molybdenum fraction. From

the flue dusts of the molybdenum smelters they extract rhenium powder.

This is pressure stamped under vacuum to produce ingots, which are

electroplated with iridium to prevent corrosion and then warehoused. They

use only a minuscule fraction of what they produce."

"Why produce so much, then?"

The CFO shrugged. "They're anal-retentive. Go to Whimsicalia, find out

what they want and give it to them. Quickly, before they get a chance to

comparison shop."

"Beads and trinkets, eh?"

"It's a dog-eat-dog universe, Ms. Wong-Heppworth."

Two weeks later, Adrienne Wong-Heppworth finished making her presentation

to a committee of Whimsicals.

"Life-expansion bioware, three years tech support, and two percent of net

profits?is that your best offer?" their chief said, bobbing his head up

and down in a way that a less formidable woman would have found decidedly

whimsical.

"Of course not," the Dragon Lady snapped. "It's an insulting offer?and

one that's not only immoral but also illegal under interstellar law. But

that was the offer I was instructed by my superiors to make. Having

fulfilled my duty, I hereby resign in disgust." She was careful to speak

clearly, so the hidden microphones would pick up every word. "However, on

my own behalf, I am prepared to offer you something closer to a fair

deal."

She walked out of the meeting with a contract that left the Whimsicals

immeasurably richer than the offer from Summergarden, Claimjumper & Ting

would have. Her three-percent handling fee was exactly the jump-start she

needed to launch Dragon Lady Enterprises.

Afterwards the Dragon Lady took the local Interstellar Bureau of Fraud

agent to a native bar to show her there were no hard feelings. Somewhere

between the second and third drinks, the agent flushed as she realized

that the evening was going to end with sex, and that the Dragon Lady had

known this all along.

"But how did you know?" the woman asked flusteredly. "How did you know I

was listening?"

"Dear lady," Adrienne Wong-Heppworth purred, taking the agent's hands in

hers. "Who do you think tipped you off in the first place?"