ABOUT NOTHING ® 1975 by Isaac Asimov

by Isaac Asimov

In the course of introducing his short- short story, "Quarantine", in our first issue, Arthur C. Clarke incautiously claimed that he could make worse puns than our Dr. Asimov. Isaac immediately rose to the challenge, citing first this story, which originally appeared as one of a series of SF-stories-on-a- postcard, first published in England.

All of Earth waited for the small black hole to bring it to its end. It had been discovered by Professor Jerome Hieronymus at the Lunar telescope in 2125, and it was clearly going to make an approach close enough for total tidal destruction.

All of Earth made its wills and wept on each other's shoulders, saying, "Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye." Husbands said good-bye to their wives, brothers said good-bye to their sisters, parents said good-bye to their children, owners said good-bye to their pets, and lovers whispered good-bye to each other.

But as the black hole approached, Hieronymus noted there was no gravitational effect. He studied it more closely and announced, with a chuckle, that it was not a black hole after all.

"It's nothing," he said. "Just an ordinary asteroid someone has painted black."

He was killed by an infuriated mob, but not for that. He was killed only after he publicly announced that he would write a great and moving play about the whole episode.

He said, "I shall call it Much Adieux About Nothing."

All humanity applauded his death.