NOTHING LIKE MURDER

Emmanuel Rubin looked definitely haggard when be arrived at the monthly banquet of the Black Widowers. Whereas ordinarily he

gave the clear impression of being a foot taller than the five feet five which literal minds would consider his height to be, be seemed shrunken this time into his natural limits. His thick glasses seemed to magnify less, and even his beard, sparse enough at best, straggled limply.

44you look your age," said the resplendent Mario Gonzalo. "What!s wrong?" "And you look like an overdressed D'Artagnan,' said Rubin with marked lack of snap. "All we Latins are handsome," said Gonzalo. "But, really, whaes ?Py wrong. "I'M short about six hours' sleep' " said Rubin aggrievedly. "A deadline trapped me when I wasn't looking. In fact, the deadline was

two days ago." "Did you finish?"

Just about. I'll have it in tomorrow." Who done it this time, Manny. "You'll just damn well have to buy the book and find out." He sank down in a chair and said, "Henry!" making a long gesture with thumb and forefinger.

Henry, the perennial waiter of the Black Widowers' banquets, obliged at once and Rubin said nothing until about a quarter of the contents had been transferred into his esophagus. Then he said, "Where's everybody?" It was as though he had noticed for the first time that he and Gonzalo were the only two present. "We're early," said Gonzalo, shrugging. "I swear I didn't think I'd make it. You artists don't have deadlines, do you?" "I wish the demand were great enough to make deadlines neces-

sary," said Gonzalo grimly. "Sometimes we're driven, but we can be more independent than you word-people. They recognize the demands of creativity in art. It's not something you can back out at the typewriter." "Listen," began Rubin, then thought better of it and said, "I'll get you next time. Remind me to describe your cockamamie crayon scribbles to you."

Gonzalo laughed. "Manny, why don't you write a best seller and be done with it? If you're just going to write mystery novels to a limited audience you'll never get rich."

Rubin's chin lifted. "think I can't write a best seller? I can do it any time I want to. I've analyzed it. In order to write a best seller you have

to hit one of the only two markets big enough to support one. It's either the housewife or the college kids. Sex and scandal get the housewife; pseudo-intellect gets the college kids. I could do either if I wanted to but I am not interested in sex and scandal and I don't want to take the effort to lower my intellect so far as to make it pseudo." "Try, Manny, try. You underestimate the full measure of the incapacity of your intellect. Besides," Gonzalo added hastily to stave off a retort, "don't tell me that it's only the pseudo-intellect that gets through to the college students." "Surel" said Rubin indignantly. "Do you know what goes big with the college crowd? Chariots of the Gods?, which is sheer nonsense. I'd call it science fiction except that it's not that good. Or The Greening of America, which was a fad book-one month they were all reading it because it's the 'in' thing to do, the next month it's out." "What about Vonnegut's books? What about Future Shock, Manny? I heard you say you liked Future Shock." "So-so," said Rubin. He closed his eyes and took another sip.

Gonzalo said, "Even Henry doesn't take you seriously. Look at him grinning."

Henry was setting the table. "Merely a smile of pleasure, Mr. Gonzalo," he said, and indeed his smooth and sixtyish fam-ndiated exactly that emotion. '"Mr. Rubin has recommended a number of books that have been college favorites and I have read them with pleasure usually. I suspect he likes more books than he will admit."

Rubin ignored Henry's remark and brought his weary eyes to bear on Gonzalo. "Besides, what do you mean, 'even Henry'? He reads a hell of a lot more books than you do." "Maybe, but he doesn't read your books." "Henry!" cried Rubin.

Henry said, "I have bought and read several of Mr. Rubin's mysterics."

Gonzalo said, "And what do you think of them? Tell the truth. I'll protect you.))

411 enjoy them. They are very good of their kind. Of course, I lack a sense of the dramatic and, once the dramatic is discounted, it is possible to see the solution-where the author allows it."

At that moment the others began to arrive and Henry was busied

with the drinks.

It had been a very long time since the Black Widowers bad had a foreigner as guest and Drake, who was host, basked in the glory of it and smiled quietly through the wreathed smoke from his eternal cigarette. Moreover, the guest was a Russian, a real Russian from the Soviet Union, and Geoffrey Avalon, who had studied Russian during World War 11, had the chance to use what he could remember.

Avalon, standing tall and speaking with a severe and steady syllable-by-syllable stress, sounded as lawyer-like as though he were addressing a Russian jury. The Russian, whose name was Grigori Deryashkin, seemed pleased and answered in slow, distinct phrases until Avalon ran down.

Deryashkin was a stocky man in a loose-fitting gray suit, a white shirt, and dark tie. He had blunt features, large teeth, an easy smile, and English that consisted of ar, adequate vocabulary, an uncertain

grammaT, and a marked but by no means unpleasant accent. "Where'd you get him?" asked Thomas Trumbull of Drake in a low voice as Deryasbkin turned away momentarily from Avalon to

take a large vodka on the rocks from Henry. "He's a science writer," said Drake. "He came to visit the laboratory to get some details on our work on hormonal insecticides. We got to talking and it occurred to me that be might enjoy hobnobbing with some filthy capitalists."

That Deryasbkin enjoyed the meal was certain. He ate with huge gusto, and Henry, having caught the spirit of hands across the seaor perhaps to show off America at its most munificent-casually, and with the smooth unnoticeability that was his professional characteristic, brought him seconds of everything.

Roger Halsted watched that process wistfully but said nothing. Ordinarily, second helpings were frowned upon at the Black Widowers' banquets on the theory that a swinishly crammed stomach detracted from the brilliance of

the postprandial conversation and Halsted, who taught mathematics at a junior high school and who often felt

the need of caloric support in consequence, most definitely disagreed with that. "From what part of the Soviet Union do you come, Mr. Deryashkin?" asked Trumbull. "From Tula, hundred-ninety kilometers south of Moscow. You have heard of Tula?"

There was a moment of silence and then Avalon said magisterially, "It played a role, I belive, in the Hitlerian War." "Yes, yes." Deryashkin seemed gratified. "In the late fall of 1941 the drive for Moscow reached out claws to the north and to the south. The advanced German forces reached Tula. In the cold and the snow we held them; they did not take Tula. They never took Tula. We called out the home guard then: boys, old men. I was sixteen years old and carried a rifle made in our own factory. We make best samovars in Russia, too; Tula is notable in war and peace. Later in the way, I was with artillery. I reached Leipzig, but not Berlin. -We were friends then, Soviet Union and America. May we stay friends." He lifted his glass.

There was a murmur of agreement and Deryashkin's good humor was further strengthened by the dessert. "What is this?" he asked, pointing with his fork, after his first mouthful. "Pecan pie," said Drake. "Very good. Very rich."

Henry bad a second piece of pie on the table for Deryasbkin almost as soon as the first had been devoured, and then, having noted Halsted's eyes following the progress of that piece, quietly placed a similar second helping before him as well. Halsted looked in either direction, found himself studiously ignored, and fell to cheerfully.

Trumbull leaned toward Drake and whispered, "Does your guest know the system of grilling?"

Drake whispered, "I tried to explain but I'm not sure be really got it Anyway, let's not ask him the usual opener about bow be justifies his existence. He may consider that an anti-Soviet remark."

Trumbull's tanned face crinkled into a silent snarl. Then he said, "Well, it's your baby. Get it started." Henry was quietly filling the small brandy glasses when Drake coughed, stubbed out his cigarette, and tapped his water glass with his fork. "It's time," he said, "to deal with our guest from abroad, and I suggest that Manny, who has been suspiciously silent throughout the meal, undertake the-"

Deryashkin was leaning back in his chair, his jacket unbuttoned, his tie loosened. He said, "We come to the conversation now, and I suggest, with the permission of the company, that we talk about your

great city of New York. I have been here for two weeks now, and I Will say it is a city of the damned."

He smiled into the vacuum the remark had created and nodded his head jovially. "A city of the damned," he said again.

Trumbull said, "You're talking about Wall Street, I suppose-that nest of imperialist bloodsuckers?" (Drake kicked his shin.)

But Deryashkin shook his 'head and shrugged. "Wall Street? I haven't been there and it is of no interest. Considering condition of your dollar, I doubt Wall Street has much power these days. Besides, We are friends and I have no wish to speak phrases such as imperialist bloodsuckers. That is part of the newspaper clich6 like 'dirty Commic rat.' Is that not so?" "All right," said Rubin. "Let's not use ugly words. Let's just use nice words like city of the damned. Why is New York a city of the damned?" "It is a city of terror! You have crime everywhere. You live in fear. You do not walk the streets. Your parks are power vacuums in which only hoodlums and hooligans can stroll. You cower behind locked doors."

Avalon said, "I suppose that New York shares the problems that beset all large and crowded cities these days, including, I am sure, the large cities of the Soviet Union. Still, these problems are not as

bad as painted."

Deryashkin lifted both arms. "Do not misunderstand. You are my

excellent hosts and I have no wish to offend. I recognize the condition to be widespread, but in a city like New York, gorgeous in many ways, very advanced and wealthy in many places, it seems wrong,

ironic, that there should be so much fear. Murders openly planned in the streets! Actual war of one segment of the population with another!"

Rubin broke in with his beard bristling combatively for the first time that evening. "I don't want to offend any more than you do, Comrade, but I think you've g7ot a bad case of believing your own

Propaganda. There's crime, yes, but for the most part the city is peaceful and well off. Have you been mugged, sir? Have you been

molested in any way.

Deryashkin shook his head. "So far, not. I will be honest. So far I have been treated with all possible courtesy; not least, here. I thank you. For the most part, though, I have been in affluent sections. I have not been

where your troubles are."

Rubin said, "'Den bow do you know there are troubles except for what you read and bear in urifriendly media?" "Ah," said Deryashkin, "but I did venture into paTk-near, the

river. There I hear a murder planned. This is not what I read in any newspaper or what I am told by any enemy or ill-wisber of your country. It is the truth. I hear it."

Rubin, his glasses seeming to concentrate the fury in his eyes into an incandescent glare, pointed a somewhat trembling finger and said, "Look-"

But Avalon was on his feet and, from his better than six feet, be easily dominated the table. "Gentlemen," he said in his commanding baritone, "let's stop right here. I have a suggestion to make. Our guest, Tovarisch Deryashkin, seems to think be has heard murder planned openly in the streets. I confess I don't understand what he means by that, but I would suggest we invite him to tell us in detail what he heard and under what circumstances. After all, he could be right and it could be an interesting story."

Drake nodded his head vigorously. "I take host's privilege and direct that Mr. Deryashkin tell us the story of the planned murder from the beginning and, Manny, you let him tell it."

Deryashkin said, "I will be glad to tell the story as accurately as I can, for what it is. There are not many details, but that it involves murder there can be no doubt. -Perhaps before I start, more brandy. -Thank you, my friend," be said amiably to Henry.

Deryasbkin sipped at his brandy and said, "It happened late this morning. Zelykov and I-Zelykov is colleague, brilliant man in biology and genetics, held down a bit in day of Lysenko, but excellent. He does not speak English well and I act to interpret for him. Zelykov and I were at the Biology Department at Columbia University for a couple of hours this morning. "When we left, we were not certain how to follow up the leads we had received. We were not entirely sure about significance of what we have heard or what we should next do. We went down toward the river-Hudson River, which is very polluted, I understand-and we looked across to other shore, which is very pretty from distance, but commercialized, I am told, and at highway, which is in between, and not so pretty. "It was a nice day. Quite cold, but cold days do not frighten a Russian from Tula. We sit and talk in Russian and it is a pleasure to do

so. Zelykov has only a few words of English and even for me it is a strain to talk English constantly. It is a great language; I would not be offensive; the language of Shakespeare and your own Mark Twain and Jack London, and I enjoy it. But"-be cocked his head to one side and thrust out his lips-"it is a strain, and it is pleasant to speak one's native language and be fluent.

"But I mention that we are speaking Russian only because it plays a part in the Story. You see, two Young men, who don' t look like hooligans, approach. They have short hair, they are shaved, they look well to do. I am not really paying attention at first. I am aware they are coming but I am interested in what I am saying and I am not Te-

ally clear that they are going to speak to us till they do. I don't re-

member exactly what they say, but it was like, 'Do you mind if we sit?' "Naturally, I don't mind. There is two halves to the bench, with a

metal dividing in the middle. On each half is more than enough for two people. Zelykov and 1, we are in one half; these two young men

can be in the other half. I say, 'Be our guests. You are welcome. Sit down and relax.' Something like that. "But-and this is the important thing-I have just been speaking Russian to Zelykov, so when the young men asked the question I an-

swered, v6tbout thinking, still in Russian. I would have corrected

this, but they sat down at once and did not pay more attention to us,

so I thought, Well, it is done and what more is necessary to say? "You see, however"-and here he paused, and tapped his nose with his forefinger--'The significance of this?"

Rubin said at once, "No. I don't." "They thought we were f0TCignCTs.'1' "And so you are," said Rubin. "Ah," said Deryashkin, "but foreigners who could not speak English."

Trumbull interposed, "And how does that matter, Mr. Deryashkin?"

Deryasbkin transferred his forefinger to the palm of his left hand, marking each emphasis. "If they think we speak English, they take another bench; but since they say to themselves, 'Aha, we have here foreigners who will not understand us,' they sit right down next to us

and talk freely, and of course I listen. I talk to Zelykov, but I listen,

yy too.

Halsted, staring at his empty brandy glass, said, "Why did you lis- . . ?Y ten? Did they seem suspicious. "To me, yes," said Deryashkin. "They are students, since we are near Columbia University and they carry books. I 'know, of course, that the American student body is very activist and, in some cases, destructive."

Rubin interrupted hotly, "Three years ago. Not now," "Of course," said Deryashkin

genially, "You defend. I do not criticize. I understand that many students were motivated by hostility to war, and this I understand. Any humane idealist would be in favor of

peace. Yet it is undeniable that under cover of idealism there are undesirable elements too. Besides, we are sitting in a park. It is empty and there is Dot someone we can count on for help if the students are armed and hostile. Also, it is well known that in New York bystanders do not interfere when a criminal action is taking place. "I do not actually think we are in immediate danger, but it would be foolhardy to let attention wander. I keep aware of the hooligans and, without looking at them, I listen a bit."

Rubin said, "Why do you call them hooligans? They haven't done anything so far except to take a seat; and they asked permission politely before they did that much." "The politeness," said Deryasbkin, "cannot be given too much credit. That was only to check what it was we were. And I call them hooligans because that is what they were. What they were talking about was a plan for murder."

There was a distinct air of incredulity about the table as Deryashkin paused at this point for effect. Finally Avalon asked, "Are you sure of that Mr. Deryashkin?" "Quite sure. They used the word 'murder.' They used it several times. I did not hear all that they said clearly. They were talking in low voices-a natural precaution. I was also talking, as was Zelvkov."

Rubin leaned back in his chair. "So you caught only scraps 4 conversation. You can't be sure there was anything wrong with it.' "I beard the word 'murder,' Mr. Rubin," said Deryasbkin seriously. "I heard it several times. You know English better than I do, I'm sure, but you tell me if there is any word in the English language that is like 'murder.' If they say 'mother' I can hear the difference. I can pronounce the English th and I can hear it, so I do not put a d where it does not belong. I hear the initial letter m clearly, so it is not-ub-girder, let us say, which I think is word for steel beams in building construction. I hear 'murder.' What else does one talk about but killing if one speaks of murder?"

Gonzalo said, "They could be using the word in a colloquial expression. If they were discussing an upcoming football game-with another college, they could say, 'We'll murder the burnsi"'

Deryasbkin said, "They are talking too seriously for that my dear sir. It

is not a football game they discuss. It is low tones, serious, very serious, and there is also to be taken into account what else they said." "Well, what else did they say?" asked Trumbull. "There was something about lying in the shadows which is something you don't do for football games. They would he in the

shadows waiting to trap someone, catch them by Surprise, murder

Py them. "Did they say all that?" demanded Rubin.

i4No, no. This is my interpretation." Deryashkin frowned. "They also said something about tying them up. 'Tie them up in the dark.' That they did say. I remember distinctly. There was also talk about a signal." "Anat signal?" asked Avalon. "A ring of a bell. That I heard too. it is, I think, a well-organized conspiracy. They will lie in wait at night; there will be a signal when the right person is there or when the coast is clear; one ring of some kind; then they tie up the victim or victims and murder them. "There is no question about this in my inind'" Dervashkin coutinued. "One hooligan is doing, all the talking at first-as though he is reciting the plan-and when he is finished the other one says, 'Right! You have it perfect! We'll go over some of the other things, but you It make it. ' And he warned him against talking." "Against talking?" said Rubin. "Several times it was mentioned. About talking. By both of them.

Very seriously."

Rubin said, "You mean they sat down next to two strangers, talked their heads off, and warned each other against talking?"

Deryashkin said rather tightly, I said several times they assumed we could not speak English."

Trumbull said, "Look, Manny, let's not make a fight out of this. Maybe Mr. Deryashkin has something here. There are radical splinter groups among the student bodies of America. There have been

7P buildings blown up. "nere have been no cold-blooded murders planned and carried out" said Rubin.

941\lways a first time for everything," said Avalon, frowning, and clearly concerned.

-ryashkin, did you do anything?" Trumbull said "Well Mr. De "Do anytbing" Derysbkin looked puzzled. "To hold them, you mean? It was not so easy. I am listening, trying to understand, learn as much as possible, without showing that I am listening. If they see

I am listening, they will see we understand and will stop talking. We might even be in danger. So I don't look at them while I am listening and suddenly it is silent and they are walking away." "You didn't go after them?" asked Drake.

Deryashkin shook his head emphatically. "'If they are hooligans, they are armed. It is well known that handguns are sold freely in America and that it is very common for young people to carry arms.

They are young and look strong, and I am myself nearly fifty and am a man of peace. A war veteran, but a man of peace. As for Zelykov, be has a bad cbest and on him I cannot count If the hooligans leave, let them leave." "Did you report anything to the police?" asked Halsted. "l? Of what use? What evidence have I? What can I say? I see right now that you are all skeptical and you are intelligent men who know my position and see that I am a man of responsibility a scientific man. Yet you are skeptical. What would the policeman know but that I have beard these scattered things? And I am a Soviet citizen. Is it possible a policeman would accept the word of a Russian foreigner against American young men? And I would not wish to be involved in what could become a large scandal that would affect my career and perhaps embarrass my country. So I say bothing. I do nothing. Can you suggest something to say or do?" "Well, no," said Avalon deliberately, "but if we wake up one of these mornings and discover that murder has been done and that some group of college students are responsible, we would not exactly feel well. I would not." "Nor I," said Trumbull, "but I see Mr. Deryashkin's position. On the basis of what he's told us, be would certainly have a hard time interesting a bard-boiled police sergeant. -Unless we bad some bard evidence. Have you any idea what the students looked like, Mr. Deryasbkin?" "Not at all. I saw them for a moment as they approached. After that I did not look at them, merely listened. When they left, it was only their backs I saw. I noticed nothing unusual." "You could not possibly identify them, then?" "Under no conditions. I have thought about it. I said to myself, if the school authorities were to show me pictures of every young man who attended Columbia University, I could not tell which were the two who had sat on the bench." "Did you notice their clothes?" asked Gonzalo. "It was cold, so they wear coats," said Deryashkin. "Gray coats, I think. I did not really notice." "Gray coats," muttered Rubin. "Did they wear anything unusual?" said Gonzalo. 'Tunny hats, mittens, checked scarves?" "Are you going to identify them that way?" said Rubin. "You inean you're thinking of going to the police and they'll say, 'That must be Mittens Garfinkel, well-known hooligan. Always wears mittens.'Pt

Gonzalo said patiently, "Any information-"

But Deryashkin interposed. "Please, g ntlemen, I noticed nothi

Ing of that kind. I cannot give any help in clothing."

Halsted said, "How about your companion, Mr.-uh--2' "Zelykov! "How about Mr. Zelvkov?" Halsted's soft voice seemed thoughtful. "If he noticed anything--2' "No, he never looked at them. He was discussing genes and DNA. He didn't even know they were there."

Halsted placed his palm delicately on his high forehead and brushed back at non-existent hair. He said, "You can't be sure, can

you? Is there any way you can call him Lip right now and ask?" "It would be useless," protested Deryashkin. "I'know. Believe me.

'an you imagine the When they left I said to him 7 in Russian, 'C criminality of those hooligans? and be said, 'What hooligans?' I said 'Those that are leaving! And he shrugged and did not look but kept' on talking. It was getting cold even for us and we left. He knows nothing." "That's very frustrating," said Halsted. "Hell," said Rubin. "There's nothing to this at all. I don't believe it." "You mean I am lying?" said Deryashkin, frowning. "No," said Rubin. "I mean It's a misinterpretation. What you heard can't involve murder."

Deryashkin, still frowning, said, "Do all you gentlemen believe that what I heard can't involve murder?"

Avalon, keeping his eyes on the tablecloth in some embarrassment, said, "I can't really say I am certain that a murder is being planned, but I think we ought to act as though a murder is being planned. If we are wrong we have done nothing wcrse than make fools of our-

selves. If we are right we might save one or more lives. Do the rest of you agree with that?" 'Mere was an uncertain murmur that seemed to be agreement, but Rubin clenched a hostile fist and said, "What the devil do you mean by acting, Jeff? What are we supposed to do?"

Avalon said, "We might go to the police. It might be difficult for

Mr. Deryashkin to get a hearing; but if one of us-or more-back him--2' "How would that help?" said Rubin sardonically. "if there were

fifty million of us introducing our friend here, the evidence would still boil down to the uncertain memory of one man who recalls a

few scraps of conversation and who cannot identify the speakers." "In that," said Deryashkin, "Mr. Rubin is right. Besides, I will not take part. It is your city, your country, and I will not interfere. Noth-

ing could be done in any me, and when the murder takes place it will be too bad, but it cannot be helped." "Nothing will happen," said Rubin. "No?" said Deryasbkin. "How then can you explain what I beard? If all else is ignored, there is yet the word 'murder.' I beard it clearly more than once and it is a word that cannot be mistaken. In the English language there is nothing like 'murder' that I could have taken for that word. And surely if people speak of murder there must be murder in the wind. You are, I think, the only one here, Mr. Rubin, who doubts it."

There was a soft cough from one end of the table. Henry, who bad cleared away the coffee cups, said apologetically, "Not the only one, Mr. Deryashkin. I doubt it too. In fact, I am quite certain thai what the young men said was harmless."

Deryashkin turned in his seat. He looked surprised. He said, "Comrade Waiter, if you-" ' Trumbull said hastily, "Henry is a member of the Black Widowers. Henry, bow can you be certain?"

Henry said, "If Mr. Deryashkin will kindly consent to answer a few questions, I think we will all be certain."

Deryashkin nodded his head vigorously and spread out his arms. "Ask! I will answer." Henry said, "Mr. Deryashkin, I believe you said that the park was empty and that no one was in sight to help if the young men proved violent. Did I understand correctly? Were the other benches in the park area unoccupied?" "Tbose we could see were empty," said Deryashkin readily. "Today was not a pleasant day for park-sitting." "nen why do you suppose the young men came to your bench, the only one which was occupied?"

Deryashkin laughed briefly and said, "No mystery, my friend. The day was cold and our bench was the only one in the sun. It was why we picked it ourselves." "But if they were going to discuss murder, surely they woda prefer a bench to themselves even if it meant being a little on the cold side." "You forget. They thought we were foreigners who could not speak or understand English. The bench was empty in a way."

Henry shook his head. "That does not make sense. They approached you and asked to sit down before you spoke Russian.

They had no reason to think you couldn't understand English at the time they approached."

Deryashkin said testily, ',They might have heard us talking Russian from a distance and checked it out." you spoke Russian? "And sat down almost at once, as Soon as They didn't test you any further? They didn't ask if you understood English? With murder in the wind, they were satisfied with a small Russian comment from You, guessed they would be safe, and sat down to discuss Openly a hideous crime? Surely if they Were

conspirators they would have stayed as far away fromyou as possible in the first place, and even if they were irresistibly attracted to the sun, they would have put you through a much more cautious testing

process. The logical interpretation of the, events, at least to me, would seem to be that whatever they had to discuss was quite harmless, that they wanted a bench in the sun, and that they did not at

all care whether they were overheard or not!y "And the word 'niurder'?" said Deryashkin with heavy sarcasm. "That, too, then, must be quite, quite harmless." "It is the use of the word 'murder,"' said Henry, "that convinces

me that the entire conversation was harmless, Sir. It seems to me, surely, that no one would use the word 'murder' in connection with their own activities; only with those of others. If you yourself are

going, to murder, you speak of it as 'rubbing him out,' 'taking him for a ride,' 'getting rid of him,' or if you'll excuse the expression, sir, 'liquidating him.' You might even say "killing him' but surely no one

would casually speak of murdering someone. It is too ugly a word; it

demands euphemism." "Yet they said it, Mr. Waiter,yp said Deryashkin. "Talk as you will, you won't argue me out of having heard that word clearly more than once.

flicy did not say what you heard, perhaps." "And how is that possible, my friend? Eh?" Henry said, "Even with the best will in the world and with the most rigid honesty, Mr. Deryashkin, one can make mistakes in inteTpreting what one hears, especially-please excuse me-if the language is not native to you. For instance, you say the expression 'tie

them up' was used. Might it not be that you heard them say 'bind them' and that you interpreted that as 'tie them up

Deryasbkin seemed taken aback. He thought about it for a while. He said, "I cannot swear I did not hear them say 'bind them! Since you mention it, I begin to imagine perhaps I beard it. But does it

matter? 'Bind them , means 'tie them up.'" "The meaning

is approximately the same but the words are

different. And if it is 'bind them' I know what it is you must have heard if all the scraps you report are put together. Mr. Rubin knows

too-better than I do, I believe-though be may not quite realize it at the moment. I think it is bis sub-realization that has made him so resistant to the notion of Mr. Deryashkin having overheard an actual conspiracy."

Rubin sat up in his seat, blinking. "What do I know, Henry?" Deryasbkin said, "You have to explain 'murder.' Nothing counts if you do not explain 'murder."'

Henry said, "I am not a linguist myself, Mr. Deryashkin, but I once heard it said that it is the vowels of a foreign language that are hardest to learn and that what is called a 'foreign accent' is mostly a mispronunciation of vowels. You might therefore not be able to distinguish a difference in vowels and, even with all the consonants unchanged, what you beard as 'murder' might really have, been 'Mordor."'

And at that Rubin threw up both hands and said, "Oh, my God." "Exactly, sir," said Henry. "Early in the evening, I recall a discusSion between yourself and Mr. Gonzalo concerning books that are popular with college students. One of them, surely, was The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien." "Tolkien?" said Deryasbkin, mystified, and stumbling over the word.

Henry said, "He was an English writer of fantasy who died very recently. I am quite sure that college students form Tolkien societies. That would account for the references to 'talking' that you mentioned, Mr. Deryashkin, as part of the conversation of the young men. They were not exhorting each other to keep quiet but were speaking of the Tolkien Society that I imagine one of them wished to join. "In order to join, it might be that the candidate must first memorize the short poem that is the theme of the entire trilogy. If the young man were indeed reciting the poem, which twice mentions 'the Land of Mordor,' then I believe every scrap of conversation you heard could be accounted for. Mr. Rubin recommended the trilogy to me once and I enjoyed it immensely. I cannot renwwaber the poem word for word, but I suspect Mr. Rubin does." "Do P" said Rubin explosively. He rose to his feet, placed one band on his cbest, threw the other up to the ceiling, and declaimed grandiloquently:

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed

to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. Henry nodded. "You see that it includes not only the word Mr. Deryashkin interpreted as 'murder' but also reference to the 'one ring,' to 'lying in the shadows,' to 'tying them up in the dark."'

There was silence for a while. Then Deryashkin said, "You are right. Now that I hear the poem, I must admit that this is what I heard this morning. Quite right. -But how could you know, waiter?"

Henry smiled. "I lack a sense of the dramatic, Mr. Deryashkin. You felt New York to be a jungle, so you beard jungle sounds. For myself, I prefer to suppose college students would sound like college students."

5 Afterword

J. R. R. Tolkien died on September 2, 1973. 1 was in Toronto at the time attending the 31st World Science Fiction Convention and was deeply moved at the news. -And yet on the very day I learned of his death, I won the Hugo for my science fiction novel The Gods Themselves and I couldn't help being happy.

Having read Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings three times at the time of his death (and I've read it a fourth time since) and having enjoyed it more each time, I felt that the only way I could make up for having been happy on that sad (lay was to write a story in mem-

ory of him. So I wrote "Nothing Like Murder."

Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine decided, however, not to use it. The feeling was that the readers would not be well enough acquainted with Tolkien to be able to appreciate the story. So, after some hesitation, I sent it to the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, for which I write a monthly science column.

Rather to my surprise (for the story is neither fantasy nor science fiction), Ed Ferman, the editor of F 6 SF, accepted it, and it appeared in the October 1974 issue Of the magazine. I then waited for angry letters from science fiction fans, but all I got was a number of very pleased comments from readers who were delighted that I was an admirer of Tolkien. So it all worked out well.

V1