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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

 

Samhain Publishing, Ltd.

577 Mulberry Street, Suite 1520

Macon GA 31201

 

High Line

Copyright © 2009 by T. A. Chase

ISBN: 978-1-60504-389-0

Edited by Tera Kleinfelter

Cover by Anne Cain

 

All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

 

First Samhain Publishing, Ltd. electronic publication: February 2009

www.samhainpublishing.com

High Line

 

 

 

T.A. Chase

Dedication

To C, for standing beside me, no matter where my crazy mind takes me. Tera, the world’s most awesome editor, and the ladies at the Café. This one is for everyone who wanted to see Garrett get his own happy ending.

Glossary

Groove or Line: Slang term for the best route around a racetrack; the most efficient or quickest way around the track for a particular driver. The “high groove” takes a car closer to the outside wall for most of a lap, while the “low groove” takes a car closer to the apron than the outside wall. Road racers use the term “line”. Drivers search for a fast groove, which has been known to change depending on the track and weather conditions.

Chapter One

Garrett Johnson stood on the other side of the wall down in the pit area. Wearing a headset, he listened to the chatter between the driver and the crew chief. Most of the technical terms flew over his head. That’s what you’re here for. To learn all this car stuff.

“Bring her in, CJ. Someone’s here to talk to you.” Disdain colored the crew chief’s voice.

He let it roll off him. Garrett had dealt with prejudices like the crew chief’s all his life. Worrying about other people’s opinions took too much time and energy away from the important things in his life.

The stock car flew into pit row and rolled to a stop in front of him. Its front bumper barely brushed the numbered sign someone held out. Garrett studied the brightly colored vehicle sporting the decals of CJ Lamont’s sponsors. Some called it “the car of tomorrow”. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he had a month to cram all the knowledge he could into his head. He hated not making his characters as authentic as possible.

The noise disappeared. Someone took his headset as he glanced over at the rubber netting where the driver’s window should have been. The steering wheel appeared from inside the car and Garrett held his breath. God, it was like the most painfully slow striptease he’d ever seen. The papers had declared CJ Lamont the sexiest driver on the NASCAR circuit and Garrett was eager to see if the man lived up to the hype in person.

CJ emerged from the car, removed his helmet and pulled off his gloves. He turned and held out his hand, flashing Garrett a bright yet shy smile.

Garrett’s first thought was, God, he’s hot.

Yeah, but he’s straight.

God, he’s hot was his last thought before CJ spoke.

“You must be Garrett Johnson. I’m a huge fan of yours.”

Their hands touched. All the thoughts rabbiting around Garrett’s head disappeared into their respective holes and his mind went blank.

“Yeah. You must be CJ Lamont.” Garrett wanted to smack himself upside the head. What an idiotic thing to say. Who else would the man be?

CJ’s chuckle was low and easy. “That’s me. One of those crazy rednecks driving in circles all day, making nothing but left turns.”

“I do think racing is crazy,” Garrett agreed. He held up his hand to stop the argument he could see forming in CJ’s eyes. “Don’t get all worked up. I think any kind of sport is crazy. That’s why I’m an actor. I don’t even like basketball and that’s my brother’s livelihood.”

“Kasey Johnson is your brother?” CJ handed his helmet and gloves to one of the crew members, accepting a bottle of water in return.

“Yes. The newest star in the NBA, though he’s finding it a lot harder than college.”

He smiled as he thought about his twin. Kasey was a rookie in the NBA and his team was working him hard. Garrett rarely got to see his brother because of conflicting schedules.

“Big leagues always are.” CJ gestured for Garrett to follow him.

Garrett tried not to stare at the broad-shouldered, lean-hipped man walking in front of him, but he was a healthy gay man and CJ Lamont was the sexiest thing he’d seen in a long time.

“Super Freak” blared from his pocket. Wincing, he answered, apologizing to CJ with a smile.

“Hey, babe.”

“Where the hell are you?” Rich’s screech filled Garrett’s ear.

He glanced at CJ, who gave him a sympathetic look.

“I told you when I left I’d be in North Carolina for a month. I’m doing research for my next role.” Garrett sighed.

“No, you didn’t.” Rich’s pout came through loud and clear.

“Yes, I did, but you were either too hung over or too caught up in that party of yours to listen.”

He moved farther away from CJ and shoved a hand through his hair.

“It’s a party for you, asshole. I told you when it was and you promised me you’d be here.” Rich’s pitch rose.

“I’m not doing this now, Rich. I never promised to be there. In fact, I told you several times I was coming to North Carolina. You chose to ignore me.”

“I’m not going to be here when you get back. I’m going to find someone who really loves me.” Rich sniffled.

There’d been a time when Garrett would have folded at the first sign of tears from Rich. No more. Rich had used them too many times to get his own way. Garrett wasn’t going to feel guilty anymore.

“Maybe one of these days, I won’t come back, Rich. What will you do then?”

Garrett hung up and turned his phone off before sticking it in his pocket. Closing his eyes, he tried to ease his anger and his pain. It was hard to watch a four-year relationship implode.

“You okay?”

He jumped. He’d forgotten CJ stood near him. He smiled his famous “movie star” smile.

“I will be.”

CJ nodded. “My wife and I are separated. She’s trying to decide if staying together is worth the effort.”

“Sounds like you don’t think it is.” He didn’t want to pry, but CJ seemed to be willing to talk.

“She deserves better than me,” CJ stated. “You hungry?”

Wow. CJ wasn’t going to make any sort of comment about the boyfriend issue. Most of the time, he could shrug off people’s disdain or disgust, but he was tired and being fed up with Rich’s attitude played havoc with Garrett’s patience.

“Thanks. I got in late last night and then overslept this morning. Didn’t have time for more than a sip of coffee.”

They headed toward a building swarming with people.

“This is the Morik Racing Team’s garage. It’s where all the magic happens.” CJ gestured to a car on a lift and the men working under it. “I’ll give you a tour of it later when there aren’t so many people.”

A man slammed into Garrett, spilling oil over his shirt and jeans.

“Hey, Chick, watch where you’re going,” CJ admonished the man.

“Sorry.” Disdain and sarcasm dripped from Chick’s apology. “Hey, why don’t you let one of the P.R. guys show him around? I need to talk to you about the car.”

Chick—the crew chief. From the impression he’d gotten of Chick earlier when they’d been introduced and from the look on his face right now, the oil definitely wasn’t an accident.

“We’re getting something to eat. I’ll come back for the briefing.” CJ frowned.

The crew chief stalked away with CJ staring after him for a second.

“Sorry.”

Garrett shrugged. “I get that sometimes.” He grimaced, looking at his clothes. “I wish I’d brought something else to change into though.”

CJ eyed him and Garrett thought of piles of techno-colored vomit to keep from getting hard. Those electric blue eyes combined with the sweat-drenched black curls pushed every button of Garrett’s libido.

He turned away, angry with himself. Things had been going badly between him and Rich for a while now, but it didn’t give him any right to lust after another man, especially a straight, married one.

“A friend of mine left some of his clothes behind after he got caught in a storm. He’s about your size.” CJ moved away. “Nothing great, but they’re clean.”

“Clean is all I’m interested in.”

The oil covering his shoes made walking across the concrete floor hazardous, so he stepped carefully. His shoes slid and his weight shifted just enough to throw him off balance.

“Fuck.”

Strong hands grasped his arms, supporting him until he caught his balance again. His breath left him when he met CJ’s gaze and witnessed the flare of heat in them. It disappeared so fast, Garrett convinced himself it wasn’t there. Just wishful thinking.

“You can use this office.” CJ let go of him and pushed open a door. “The bathroom has industrial strength soap. It’ll get the oil off your hands. I’ll grab the clothes and I have an extra pair of boots you can wear.”

CJ left the room like his pants were on fire and Garrett sighed. Maybe CJ Lamont was better at hiding his disgust than Chick.

Glancing at his hands, Garrett pushed his worries to the back of his mind. He’d get through the crash course on NASCAR and stock cars. He’d go and make the best movie he could. Afterward, he’d take a break and visit Kasey. His twin always managed to ground him when things piled up.

 

CJ leaned against the door and bit back a groan. Shit. He almost kissed Garrett Johnson—and in the garage where anyone could see them.

He banged his head on the door. Stupid. Johnson wouldn’t have slugged him or anything. The guy didn’t hide the fact he was gay, but CJ had both feet so firmly in the closet, it would take a pry bar to get him out. He didn’t want to get his ass handed to him on a plate by the guys he worked with.

He shifted and winced. His hard cock made him thank God for loose-fitting jumpsuits and unobservant co-workers. Tall and blond, Garrett Johnson was CJ’s fantasy man with green eyes and a build like a Greek god. Hard bodies and rough skin tempted CJ, driving him to drink and his wife to a divorce lawyer.

“CJ.”

He gathered his thoughts and spotted Chick stomping toward him. He didn’t need another rant from his narrow-minded, homophobic best friend about the evils of gay people, but CJ didn’t have the courage to speak out against Chick’s spiteful words and chance getting “outed” himself.

“What now, Chick?”

“How long’s that fag going to be here?”

CJ rubbed his forehead, hoping Garrett couldn’t hear anything through the door. Wishful thinking, considering how loud Chick was talking and how thin the walls were.

“We’ve been over this. He’s here for a month. I’m teaching him how to drive.”

“Why doesn’t the film company send his pansy ass to a driving school?” Chick shot dirty looks at the door behind CJ.

“They decided getting driving experience from an actual driver on the circuit would be more beneficial than going to a school.” He repeated what the P.R. rep told them when she explained what was happening. “Give him a chance and he might surprise you.”

Chick looked appalled. “A chance? He’s a fucking queer, CJ. A cocksucker. A fag.”

“Enough!”

His friend looked startled.

CJ thrust his body off the door. He had to get away before he did something he regretted.

Like blurt out you’d be happy to suck Garrett Johnson’s cock if the man asked, a small voice in his head jeered at him.

“Just do your fucking job, Chick. Nobody said you had to be best friends with him. You don’t even have to talk to the man.” CJ closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I have to get Johnson clean clothes. After lunch, which I haven’t had yet, I’ll set him up with one of the mechanics to explain about the car.”

“Have Maria do it.”

CJ ground his teeth together. Chick hated female mechanics almost as much as he did gays. It was a good suggestion though. Maria was a good grease monkey and was less likely to act like an ass toward the actor.

“Fine. I will.”

After finding the set of clothing he was looking for, he went back to the locker room. He started to speak as he stepped in, but his mouth went dry.

Garrett was bent over, pulling off his jeans. A tight, tanned ass met his gaze. Holy shit, the man wasn’t wearing underwear. CJ bit his tongue to stop the groan from busting out. His view gave him a glimpse of heavy balls between Garrett’s thighs and a quick peek at the man’s puckered opening. Fuck. Did Garrett shave his groin?

He must have made a sound. Probably a strangled gasp as he tried swallowing his tongue to keep from drooling. Garrett glanced over his shoulder, flashing him the smile that made women and men fall in love with him.

“Here’s your clothes. I’ll be out in the garage. Have to talk to someone about something.”

He practically threw the clothes at the actor before fleeing. By the time he unscrambled his brain, he was half way across the garage and making for the exit.

“Hey, CJ, can I talk to you for a second?” Maria’s voice rang out over the noise of the tools.

Nodding, he studied her as she approached him. Maria was beautiful, even under the grease streaking her face. She had curves in all the right places, but she didn’t turn him on.

His cock only got interested when the bodies he checked out were hard with muscles and had cheeks rough with stubble or hands covered in calluses.

“Is it true Garrett Johnson is going to be hanging out around the garage?”

Maria’s question brought him out of his fantasy of Garrett moving beneath him as he fucked the man.

“Umm…”

She gave him a concerned glance. “Are you okay? You look flushed.”

“Too much heat and I haven’t eaten anything today,” he stammered. “You’re right. Johnson will be around for a month or so. I’m taking him to lunch. We’re discussing what he’s looking for from us. I have to meet with Chick when we get back, so I want you to show him one of the cars. Start getting him familiar with it.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh wow. My friends are never going to believe this.”

CJ chuckled. “Just don’t gush, Maria. He’s here to learn and you’re here to work.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll try, but he’s so gorgeous.” She sighed.

The office door opened and Garrett stepped out. Those grass green eyes met CJ’s and electricity shot through him. Yes, he is. CJ’s body agreed with Maria’s assessment.

“I have to go. You’ll meet him after lunch.”

He gestured for Garrett to join him, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to eat or not.

Chapter Two

Garrett took the turn, struggling with the g-forces pushing him to the right.

“Remember, accelerate out of the turn and try to go down to the bottom of the track.”

With CJ’s voice echoing over the headset, Garrett stepped on the gas and shifted. The car shot out of the turn and he fought the vibrations to get the vehicle to the inside of the track.

“Good job. Bring her in. We’ll talk when you’re in the pit.”

He grunted, hoping CJ took it as a yes. He’d been on the track three times in a month and it didn’t seem to be getting any easier. He took the car down pit row, zeroing in on the numbered sign one of the crew held out for him.

His stop wasn’t as smooth or as quick as CJ’s were, but no one was injured. Garrett hadn’t quite gotten the hang of unhooking the steering wheel, so everyone stood around, watching as he struggled with it. Finally, it came undone and he could fight with the harness holding his head and body in place. He heaved a sigh of relief when the nylon straps released him. Climbing out of the car, he took off his helmet and ran a hand through his sweat-drenched hair. He shared a smile with Maria, his crew chief.

“She handled a lot better in the turns after you adjusted the steering, but there was a shimmy each time I touched the brake. One of the pads might be wearing faster than the others.”

Maria nodded. “I noticed that. I’ll have the guys check it when they take the car back to the garage.”

“Good. Have them check the brake and steering fluid. Both were getting stiff, so there might be a leak there as well.”

“Will do.”

“You’re getting better.” CJ slapped his shoulder. “Give you enough time and practice, you could take over the top spot from me.”

He shook his head and laughed. “I wouldn’t be looking over my shoulder any time soon if I were you. Racing’s hard work and there are only two things I’m willing to work hard at.”

“Acting is one, I’m sure. What’s the other?” CJ walked with him toward the garage.

“It’s probably my favorite pastime.” He leered at the dark-haired man.

CJ’s eyes widened and the sexiest red flush graced his cheeks. Why did he insist on flirting with and teasing CJ? He never did that with straight men. Most weren’t comfortable or confident enough in their own sexuality to accept it without kicking his ass.

Maybe it was the way his teasing made CJ blush and squirm a little, but CJ never hassled him or got defensive. Maybe his need to flirt had to do with the expression he’d spied on CJ’s face several times during the month they’d spent together. It was a look full of longing and need.

Garrett’s instincts rarely led him wrong on people. All of them shouted that CJ wanted him. Yet the desperation in CJ’s blue eyes kept Garrett from doing anything more than flirt.

“Outing” anyone had never been a goal of his. Considering the comments he’d received from Chick and a few of the other guys, he understood why CJ chose to stay quiet. So he flirted when they were alone and kept his distance when they were in a crowd. Destroying someone’s life wasn’t his style.

“Today’s my last day in Charlotte. I’m flying out to Indianapolis tomorrow morning.” He let CJ off the hook.

The grateful look he got from CJ made him ache. It took a certain kind of strength to live like CJ did in constant fear of discovery. Garrett didn’t have that courage, which was why he came out when he was fifteen.

“How long does it usually take to film a movie?”

He shrugged. “Each director is different. I’ve never worked with this particular one before, but I hear he works fast. This movie should be ready for release by next year.”

“Really? I’ll have to go and see it when it comes out.” CJ held the door to the office open.

“I’ll let you know when it’s coming out and invite you to the premiere. Bet your wife would love to go to that.”

The instant the words left his mouth, he regretted them. They had managed to avoid talking about CJ’s marriage and Garrett’s relationship. Neither one wanted to acknowledge their failures.

“Rachel probably would, but not with me.” CJ sighed.

Garrett sat down in a chair across from CJ’s desk. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s all right. It’s been over for a while now. I haven’t been willing to admit it until now.” CJ closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.

Silence seemed the best plan for now. Garrett waited until CJ got a hold of himself. He smiled when CJ met his gaze.

CJ blinked and looked away, but not before Garrett caught a hint of wistfulness in those blue eyes.

“Do you have any questions about racing or the cars that I haven’t answered yet?”

Garrett accepted the subject change and tried to think up some questions. When he couldn’t, he stood, holding out his hand.

“I guess I should get out of your hair finally, CJ. I had a good time and any praise I receive will be because of you.”

CJ was slow to take his hand. He shook it and tried to let go, but CJ held on. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

“Would you have dinner with me tonight?”

Garrett barely kept his mouth from dropping open. They never spent time alone. Their meetings and conversations were either over the phone or at the track. It was a mutual decision not to play with temptation.

Dropping his hand, CJ paled. “Right. Bad idea. I hope you have a safe flight tomorrow.”

“Wait.” The devil was riding Garrett. That was the only reason he could think of to agree to dinner with CJ. “I’d love to have dinner with you. Where should I meet you?”

The burst of happiness in CJ’s eyes quieted any doubts he had.

“I’ll give you directions to my place. We can grill some steaks and hang out.”

“Great.” Garrett checked his watch. “I have to check in with my director and let him know when I’ll be there tomorrow.”

CJ grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down his address. “Come around seven.”

“I’ll be there.”

He left the track, knowing that dinner with CJ had the potential of being the worst idea he ever had.

 

 

“This has to be the worst idea you’ve ever had,” CJ muttered as he got the steaks ready to grill.

He hadn’t thought all the consequences through before asking Garrett to have dinner with him. He’d been having X-rated dreams about the man for a month. It was going to be a test of his willpower to keep his hands off Garrett.

The actor had to know CJ was attracted to him, but being the nice guy he was, he never said anything except for a teasing comment or two when they were out of earshot of the others. He never tried to push or make a move and CJ appreciated it.

The phone rang and he frowned when he checked the caller ID. He didn’t want to get into a shouting match with his wife. One thing the last few weeks had taught him was that he couldn’t continue their sham of a marriage. He’d wasted eight years of Rachel’s life and it was time to let her go and he would do whatever he had to do to make that happen.

Pulling another beer out of the refrigerator, he popped it open as he let the machine answer and walked away as she left a message. It was his third one already and he’d only been home an hour. He needed something to calm his nerves and it was too early in the evening for whiskey.

A knock sounded, causing CJ to jump and spill some of the beer on the counter. He wiped it up quickly before heading to the front of the house.

Yanking the door open, he said, “Come in.”

Fuck. It had to be illegal for anyone to look as hot as Garrett did. He wore a button-down long-sleeve shirt that matched the color of his eyes over a white T-shirt. His faded jeans were tight enough to give CJ a good look at Garrett’s package, but not tight enough to make him wonder how the man breathed.

Garrett’s damp curls and smooth cheeks proved he was making an effort to look nice. CJ didn’t know why that knowledge scared him spitless.

CJ led the way to his kitchen and backyard. He tried not to think about the fact that he could feel Garrett’s gaze travel from his shoulders to his ass and back. Heat blossomed in his groin and he bit back a groan. He had to think of something to distract himself. The disgust on Chick’s face every time his crew chief talked about Garrett flashed in his mind and his erection deflated.

“Nice place you got here.” Garrett glanced around.

“It is. Only been here a couple months. Moved out of the house Rachel and I bought when we got married. She loved that house so much, she could have it. I don’t care where I live as long as it’s close to the track.”

He winced. Babbling because he was nervous was a trait he’d tried to get rid of. He nodded toward the open sliding glass door.

“I’ll bring out the steaks if you want to grab a seat out on the deck.” He picked up the plate full of meat.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“Sure. Grab the salad and if you want a beer, get one from the fridge. There’s tea and soda in there as well.”

CJ got a hold of his own beer and made it to the grill without spilling any more of it. He set everything down and took a calming breath. Get a grip, his inner voice snarled. You can’t do anything with him. You’re still married and hiding and he’s got a boyfriend.

A gentle touch to his shoulder caused him to tense.

“It’s all right. Let’s enjoy the night and the food.”

Garrett’s words and touch reassured him. He was an adult who could control his body. Nothing would happen that he didn’t want to.

Dinner was uneventful. They laughed and talked, finding out they had a lot in common. A silent agreement was reached not to discuss personal things. CJ had two more beers during dinner and switched to whiskey afterward. Garrett nursed his one beer.

“I don’t drink much,” was Garrett’s reason for declining when CJ offered him another.

“Good idea. Unusual though. I’d think being a hot young actor, you’d be caught up in the parties and shit that go on out in Hollywood.” He waved toward his living room. “I’ve seen all that crazy stuff on TV.”

Garrett’s low chuckle sent shivers over CJ’s body. He concentrated on Garrett’s words, not wanting to get lost in the sound of the actor’s voice. He noticed a hint of sadness in him.

“It’s easy for some people to get caught up in that scene.”

Was Garrett talking about his boyfriend?

“My parents raised me with certain standards and I have expectations I put on myself. Two of my best assets are my body and my looks. Too much partying and too many late nights will eat away at those. I work out and try to eat well. No drugs. A drink or two once in a while is fine, but I can’t go overboard.”

CJ cringed. Lately he’d been having more than one or two drinks a night. Shrugging, he ignored any attempt at trying to figure out why it mattered to him.

“My career will last as long as I’m willing to put in the effort. Plus, I have a release valve and an outside voice of reason.”

“What is it?” He sprawled in his chair, conveniently set close to Garrett’s.

Garrett shifted and their knees brushed. The lust he’d had under control earlier flared and a slow burn settled under his skin.

“My twin, Kasey. I know I can call him any time and he’ll talk me through whatever problem I’m having. I do the same for him. We’ve had each other’s back for twenty-three years.”

“Must be nice to have someone know you that well and always be there for you.” He was an only child and he loved his parents, but they weren’t close.

“Yes and no. No one knows me better than Kasey, but as good as that is, he also knows all the right buttons to push.” Garrett shifted and their legs rubbed again. “He can piss me off quicker than anyone else.”

“Hmmm…”

CJ’s mind no longer focused on the words. He clenched his hands to keep from reaching out and touching the other man’s thigh. His mind flashed back to the first day and the actor’s naked ass. His cock swelled, pressing against the zipper of his jeans. How many nights had he dreamed of Garrett’s mouth wrapped around his cock? He groaned softly.

“Are you okay?”

His eyes popped open. Damn, he’d forgotten he sat next to the very man he was fantasizing about. He glanced at Garrett out of the corner of his eye. A knowing smiled graced the man’s beautiful face.

“I’m fine.” His voice was hoarse.

Garrett pushed to his feet. “I should be going. My flight is early in the morning.”

“Thanks for coming. I enjoyed it. I haven’t had many people over since moving in.” He took the highball of whiskey and followed Garrett to the front door.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me this month, CJ. If you ever need anything or anyone to talk to, call me. I’ll be glad to help out.”

Something in Garrett’s tone or words hit home. Afterward, he never could figure out what made him do it. He gripped Garrett’s arm, pulling the taller man tight to him. He dropped his glass, not caring about the whiskey stain on the carpet as he buried his fingers in Garrett’s hair and brought their lips together.

Garrett’s lips were as soft as CJ had imagined them to be. Garrett froze for a second and CJ whimpered, afraid he would push him away. For this moment in time, CJ wanted to taste a man without worrying about being discovered or exposed. Garrett wouldn’t say anything.

Shuddering, Garrett wrapped his arms around CJ’s waist and crushed him to his hard chest. Strong hands cupped CJ’s ass, rocking their groins together as the kiss went deeper. He opened his mouth to allow Garrett entrance. The taste of the beer the actor had with dinner danced along CJ’s tongue as he stroked along the inside of his bottom lip. Warm breath washed over his lips when he moaned.

CJ followed willingly as Garrett leaned back against the door and spread his legs, cradling CJ within the space between his thighs. He rubbed his aching erection over the bulge in Garrett’s jeans. A fleeting thought raced through his mind. For the first time in his life, kissing another man seemed natural instead of something he should be ashamed of or needed to hide.

Tingling traced along his spine and gathered at the small of his back. He was going to come in his jeans. His movements were jerky as his climax built.

The ring of the phone broke their embrace. Fuck, he’d broken all his rules. CJ stared at Garrett in horror. Not only had he kissed a guy, he’d done it while he was still married. Shit, he’d just cheated on his wife. It didn’t matter that they were separated and about to get a divorce. He had some honor left.

Garrett panted and CJ found his own breathing matched the actor’s. He watched the passion dissolve out of Garrett’s green eyes to be replaced with understanding and compassion. The phone stopped ringing.

“I should go.” Garrett ran a thumb over CJ’s swollen bottom lip. “When you’re free to admit who you really are, come find me.”

Fighting angry tears, CJ watched Garrett climb into his rental and drive away. Slamming the door shut, he kicked the glass on the floor and found grim satisfaction in the crash when it shattered against the far wall. He ignored the glittering shards, stalked into the kitchen, and grabbed a glass and the fifth of whiskey he’d opened earlier in the evening. Going outside, CJ flung himself into a chair, poured a drink and slammed it down.

Getting drunk sounded like the best way to deal with the situation because there wasn’t any solution to it. He could never have what he really wanted, which was a true and open relationship with Garrett. Not while he was still driving anyway. There was no way possible even to have a secret relationship with the man. Besides being open about his orientation, Garrett Johnson was one of the most recognizable men in the world. The more time he spent with him the more his own preferences would be brought into question.

He rested his head on the back of the chair, staring up at the star-filled night. The edges of his vision blurred and he blinked the tears away. There was nothing he could do to change the problem, so there was no point in crying. He wasn’t willing to give up racing and that was the only way he could see being able to admit he was gay. He poured another drink.

“Disgusting. Can’t you stay away from the alcohol just one night?”

Rolling his head, he found Rachel standing next to his chair. CJ frowned and looked around. The empty whiskey bottle lay on its side, his glass resting at his feet where he must have dropped it at some point. His eyes crossed as Rachel jerked him out of the chair.

“Fuck, Rachel. What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you get in?”

“I came through the back gate when you didn’t answer the door. I wanted to talk to you and you weren’t answering your phone. Little did I realize you were busy getting shit-faced.” She crossed her arms and glared at him.

“Sorry. I’ve had a hell of a night and I didn’t feel like arguing with you.” He rubbed his chin, taking deep breaths to settle his roiling stomach.

“I wanted to discuss our marriage, but I can see you’re not in any condition to have a reasonable conversation.”

“Rachel, here’s the deal. I want a divorce. It doesn’t matter who files first. I’ll give you half of everything I own. I figure you deserve it because I’m an asshole.”

He weaved his way back into the house, somehow managing to get a glass of water without falling or breaking anything.

“You’re not an asshole. You’re gay, but you don’t have the balls to admit it out loud.”

Whirling, he spilled water all over the floor and his feet. He stared at his wife in fear. “How the hell did you know?”

“Well, thank God, you’re not denying it to me. I have eyes, CJ. You tried so hard to hide it and make me feel like I was the only woman for you.” Rachel’s laugh was bitter. “I guess I was the only woman for you, since you don’t like women.”

He slumped against the sink and didn’t meet Rachel’s eyes. The truth was painful to hear coming from someone else.

“You’re right. I’ve been terrible to you and I’m sorry for that.” He turned and looked out the window. “Nothing’s ever easy, Rachel.”

“Whatever. I’ll talk to my lawyer tomorrow and we can get the process started.”

The front door slammed and CJ slid down to the floor, tears running down his cheeks. Rachel was right. He’d built his life on lies, and marrying Rachel was the first of many he’d come to regret. Wrapping his arms around his knees, he rested his forehead on them and sobbed. A tiny part of him wished Garrett was there to hold him, but that was another thing he screwed up.

 

*

 

Garrett ignored Rich’s bitching. His eyes were glued to the article he read in the entertainment section. “CJ Lamont and wife divorcing after eight years of marriage.” The picture accompanying the article showed a haggard looking CJ. Sorrow swirled in Garrett’s heart.

He had come to consider CJ a friend while he was in Charlotte. If things had been different for both of them, the man could have become more.

“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying,” Rich pouted.

“No, I’m not.” He looked over at his boyfriend. “I’ve heard everything you had to say already and my answer is still no. I won’t be going to Slingman’s party. He’s not a person I want to hang around with. Besides I have a photo shoot tomorrow and I don’t want to show up looking like I’ve been on a three-day binge.”

“Fine. I told him you wouldn’t come, but he insisted I ask.” Rich jumped up from the table and flounced out of the room.

Garrett shook his head and sighed. Why did he put up with Rich? Why didn’t he admit it wasn’t working out anymore and cut the ties binding them? He ran his fingers over the photo of CJ and hoped things worked out all right for his friend.

Chapter Three

CJ stared in disbelief at the headline of the sports section in the local Charlotte newspaper.

“Lamont Gay. Ex-wife tells all.”

I’m screwed.

The telephone rang as he finished reading the article for the fourth time that morning. He didn’t want to answer it. There was no telling who it was. Reporters had been leaving messages on his answering machine all morning and now he understood why. Usually, they went through his agent or the team P.R. person to talk to him, but with this sensational news, they wanted to go straight to the source.

“CJ, this is Chick. I know you’re there. Pick up the damn phone.”

He reached for it, even though he didn’t know what he was going to tell him. “Hey, Chick,” he mumbled, resting his head on the kitchen table.

“What the hell did you do to piss the bitch off this time?” Chick’s words ran together. Excitement did that to his friend.

“Nothing. I swear I haven’t talked to Rachel in a year. Once the divorce was final, I never looked back.” It was too early in the day, he understood that, but he wanted a drink. Hell, he needed a drink. Taking the phone with him, he went to the cupboard and pulled out a highball glass before grabbing the whiskey. He poured a full glass and slugged it down. “Fuck.”

“You’re not drinking, are you, CJ?”

The accusation in Chick’s voice tugged at CJ’s conscience but didn’t stop him from pouring the second glass.

“What if I am, Chick?” He drank the second glass just as fast as the first and poured a third. It’d been four months since his last drink, when he’d been arrested for a DUI and his race team threatened to take his ride away from him. “It doesn’t mean anything anymore. Once the rumors start flying, I’ll lose my ride anyway.”

“We need to do damage control and we can’t do that with you shit-faced. I’m sure your agent can find a hot model you can date for a couple of months until this all blows over.”

CJ could almost hear the wheels turning in Chick’s head.

“But what if it doesn’t blow over? What if it was true?” The words spilled from his mouth. He wanted to take them back the minute they came out, but he couldn’t, and suddenly his deepest, most shameful secret was out there for his best friend to know.

“You’re not a fucking queer, CJ. I’m your best friend. Hell, we grew up together. Ain’t no way you’re a fag.” Chick’s voice was strong, yet a hint of doubt hid in it.

“Do you know why Rachel divorced me?” He poured the last of the whiskey into his glass.

“Because she’s a cold-hearted bitch and wanted to take you for all the money you had.” The sentence emerged slowly, which meant Chick was thinking and not liking what he came up with.

“That’s what I wanted everyone to think. Maybe she left me because I couldn’t fuck her. Maybe it’s because she caught me one too many times jerking off to gay porn movies.”

Shut your fucking mouth, Christopher Joseph Lamont, a voice of sanity shouted in his head. You’re throwing away your career and a friendship.

“Are you seriously telling me you like dick?”

“Yes.”

There he’d said it. Not while in a drunken stupor, crying into his beer with his wife screaming at him. Not while trying to hurt a woman he cared for. He said it to his best friend, being as honest as the whiskey could make him.

Silence reigned over the phone and he knew he’d lost everything with that one word.

“Fuck.” Chick hung up.

After replacing the phone in its base, CJ let his head drop on the table and laughed. He was so fucking screwed.

Sitting up, he realized the pounding came from his front door, not from the headache pulsing in his head. He moved through the living room, but stopped when the voices started yelling outside.

“Mr. Lamont, we’d like an interview with you in regards to your wife’s allegations.” “Is your being gay why your marriage ended?” “Who’s your lover, Mr. Lamont?”

He detoured to his bedroom and dug in his closet to pull out a suitcase. No way in hell was he going to sit here and watch his life implode. He didn’t know where he was going to run, but he had to get away.

Throwing clothes into the bag, he tried to think about where to go. He couldn’t go to his parents’ house. First of all, he didn’t want to subject them to the reporters. Secondly, he didn’t feel up to answering any of their questions. His dad would probably disown him if he admitted to liking guys. Of course, staying silent in the face of the storm heading his way was tantamount to an admission.

CJ stuffed his shaving kit in amidst his other things. He grabbed his iPod and keys off the kitchen counter as he passed through. He popped the trunk, threw his suitcase in the back and climbed in his car. Punching the garage door opener, he gunned the motor before pulling out. There was no way in hell he was stopping for any of those gossip hounds.

Reporters jumped out of the way as he tore down the driveway. He’d decide where he was going when he got to the airport. He flipped his phone open and dialed his housekeeper’s number.

“Hey, Betsy, it’s CJ. I’m going out of town and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Can you get my mail for me? Just throw it on the table like usual.” He forced a laugh at the concern in her voice when she asked if there was a problem. “No, it’s nothing. Just a whim, you know. Thanks.”

He turned his phone off and snapped it closed, tossing it on the passenger seat. He slammed the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. Everything he worked for down the drain because Rachel was still bitter about their marriage. He almost wished he’d fought the divorce and not given in so easily.

Merging onto the highway, he headed for the airport. He’d let Betsy know where his car was and have her pick it up from the lot.

 

*

 

Garrett stared out at the sea of reporters, quietly glad that the circus was there to see Kasey, not him. Quentin, Garrett’s bodyguard, stood to one side, eyes glued to the milling journalists, making sure none of them approached Garrett. Garrett tapped his fingers on his thigh and tried to work out some nerves, worried about how the press conference would turn out. A hand reached out and halted his movements.

“Stop. He’ll be fine. We’re here to support him.”

He shot a glance at Gram Fletcher, Kasey’s lover. “You better be worth it, man. If you hurt him, I’ll kill you,” he warned.

Gram let go of his hand and shrugged. “I’m not going to say I’m worth it, but your brother seems to think I am. I never told him he had to be out for us to date, Garrett. I would have dealt with the secrecy in order to be with him. I love Kasey and I’d never hurt him for the world.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s all moving so fast, considering how often he’s told me he wasn’t going to come out until after he retired.” He shoved his hand through his hair, messing up his carefully styled curls. “This could ruin his career, Gram.”

The nightclub owner nodded. “It’s his choice to make. He has to live with the consequences. We can’t keep him sheltered from the world no matter how much we’d like to.”

That was the problem. For all that they were the same age, Garrett always felt like he was responsible for Kasey. He attracted the spotlight so his twin didn’t have to worry about it, but now Kasey had leapt smack dab into the middle of a maelstrom and Garrett couldn’t protect him from the backlash.

Sliding over closer to the door Kasey had come in through, Garrett and Gram watched as he walked up to the podium with his agent, James Kendall, at his side. Garrett couldn’t help but feel proud when his brother straightened his shoulders and met the crowd’s stares without flinching.

In some ways it hurt to see Kasey so happy. Garrett had come to the decision to end his relationship with Rich. He snorted softly. It hadn’t been a real relationship for over a year now, but since Rich started using designer drugs and sleeping around, Garrett had finally reached his breaking point.

“My agent and I called this press conference today to address some rumors circulating around about me. I won’t take any questions today. Any you might have can be directed to my agent’s office.”

Kasey showed no signs of nerves or fear. Maybe it was the right time for him to announce his orientation to the world. Garrett shifted and watched his brother study the note cards James handed him.

“While I have never considered my sexual preferences to be anyone else’s business, I know the media believes it is their right to expose every well-known person’s personal business. To dispel the rumors and wild speculation, I have decided to bare one part of my private life to the scrutiny of the public.” Kasey folded the cards and stuck them in his pocket. He stared out into the crowd for a moment before saying, “I am gay.”

The reporters erupted with shouts, trying to get Kasey to answer their questions. Kasey smiled to them and left the stage. James took the podium and held up his hands to silence the crowd. Garrett stayed near the stage instead of leaving with his brother and Gram, figuring they needed a few minutes alone.

“Yes, Mr. Johnson is telling the truth. His decision was based on the desire to no longer hide his true self and show that he isn’t ashamed of who he is or who he loves. His All-Star MVP award proves that being gay hasn’t affected his game at all.” James grinned at the reporters. “You all know my number if you have any questions. Thank you for coming today.”

James gestured for Garrett to follow as he left the stage. They raced through the kitchen of the hotel they’d held the press conference at. Quentin got to the limo first and held the door open so they could jump in without getting cornered by the paparazzi. Kasey and Gram were already in the vehicle.

Garrett settled back in the seat and smiled at Kasey. “Here I thought I was the attention whore. Have to admit you know how to grab the spotlight when you want to.”

Kasey laughed, his tired eyes shining. “I guess I just want to make sure everyone remembers me.”

“I think you’ve ensured your own immortality. Not sure if there has ever been a sports star who came out while still playing.” He leaned forward and squeezed his brother’s knee. “Get ready for the shit storm, because a lot of people aren’t going to like this.”

His twin’s chin jutted out and a grim expression graced his face. “They don’t have to like it and they can ignore me if they like, but they do have to allow me to continue playing. We talked to the League and there’s nothing they can do without getting into publicity trouble if they kick me out.”

Garrett shook his head. “I know the League can’t do anything, but the players can make it uncomfortable for you to play, and you haven’t dealt with being the most unpopular person in the locker room yet.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t have acknowledged what they were saying? Isn’t silence just another form of admission?”

“No and yes. I’m not telling you what to do or how to live your life. I don’t want you hurt, but this is something you had to do for yourself. I understand that and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

James popped open a bottle of champagne. “I know you two don’t drink much, but this occasion called for a toast. You’re taking control of your life, Kasey. Good or bad, no matter what happens, you’re taking the rest of us on a wild ride.”

The bubbly was poured and everyone drank, Kasey taking a sip from Gram’s glass. Gram, Kasey and James talked about what to do next. Whether Kasey should do an interview now or wait. Garrett let their conversation wash over him. He still had to figure out when would be the best time to kick Rich out of their house. He had to go out of the country for a couple weeks, doing publicity for his newest movie. Maybe he’d sever all ties with Rich right before he left and leave someone else to deal with the backlash.

Sure, it was the coward’s way out, but he couldn’t deal with the drama Rich would enact. He wanted that part of his life over with before he came back to start over again. Gram watched him with an understanding look. He’d ask Gram to make sure Rich was out of the house by the time he came back from Europe. The nightclub owner was the perfect one to make that happen.

Chapter Four

Garrett pushed his way into the Factory, the hottest club in L.A. The rock music thudded in his chest and he turned to Quentin.

“Busy night,” he shouted.

Quentin nodded, a scowl on his face. Quentin hated when Garrett had a movie coming out; the P.R. department at the studio wanted Garrett to be seen at some of the coolest places and those spots tended to be packed, making it almost impossible for Quentin to protect Garrett. A cute twink slipped past Garrett, bumping his arm. Quentin pushed the young man out of the way.

“Easy, Quentin. He wasn’t going to stab me as he went by.” Garrett flashed the astonished man an apologetic smile.

“It’s not my job to be polite and nice to people. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe.” Quentin glanced around. “Why this club?”

“Hollywood’s young, rich and famous all come here to dance, drink and mingle with their fans. Or at least let their fans get a good look at them.”

He tugged at the neck of his dress shirt, wishing he’d worn a T-shirt instead. There wasn’t a dress code at the Factory. Casual or dressy, it didn’t matter as long as you were clothed. Or mostly clothed, he amended as one of Hollywood’s young starlets barely covered by a sequined dress pushed through the dancers.

Heat from the bodies packed into the club hung in the air, causing sweat to pop out on Garrett’s forehead.

“I need a drink.”

He let Quentin start clearing a path toward the V.I.P. section. One of the wait staff would see him soon enough and have a spot cleared for him to sit. He should have waited until Gram and Kasey arrived from Phoenix before going. It would have been more fun hanging with them.

His newest movie had released in the States the past weekend and he’d been on a publicity tour for it. His agent suggested he go out to the Factory for one of those “see and be seen” photo-ops. None of his usual club friends were available, so he’d make an appearance and then sneak quietly out the back.

“Hey there, Garrett.”

A voice rose above the noise, making Garrett cringe. He turned to see Tim Slingman strut toward him. Tim was a wanna-be who hung around the celebrities who frequented the club. He got them things. Alcohol, drugs, boys or girls. Whatever they wanted, Tim supplied. Garrett hated and despised the man and for some reason his disdain attracted Tim and the man wouldn’t leave Garrett alone.

“What do you want, Slingman?” Garrett ignored the hand Tim held out to him. Never knew what kind of dirt lived on Tim’s sallow skin.

“Just saying hi, man. You looking for something?” Tim gave him a sly wink. “I got anything you might want. Poppers. Pot. Coke. Even got some meth if that’s your candy of choice.”

“Get the fuck away from me.” Anger rushed through Garrett. “You know I don’t want anything you’ve got. I don’t even want to breathe the same air as you. So get out of my face.”

Quentin moved to stand between them, his arms folded over his chest, frowning.

Tim held up his hands and backed away. “Hey, no hard feelings, man. Just thought you might be interested in playing. Got a guy who just came out and is looking for fun. Of course, the alcohol makes him a little tipsy.” Tim’s head bobbed over to a darkened corner. “Wonder what the meth will do to him.”

None of your business, Garrett, a voice sounding suspiciously like Rich’s echoed through his mind. You’re a star. You don’t need to involve yourself in some loser’s life.

“Don’t do it, Garrett,” Quentin warned.

Maybe Quentin was right and he shouldn’t get involved, but Garrett had seen the effects of crystal meth on people. One hit and they wanted more, beginning a vicious downward spiral. He couldn’t stop Rich from joining in the death dance, so maybe it was guilt causing him to walk toward the corner.

Tim laughed. “I knew I would find something you wanted, Johnson. Not as perfect as you’d like us to think.”

Garrett shoved Tim away from him. “Don’t press your luck. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Like you could,” Tim scoffed.

Garrett didn’t waste time trying to prove anything to the idiot. He made his way to the corner Tim pointed out. When he got there, he found a gorgeous drunk. The dark-haired man was well on his way to sliding under the table, which would have brought a smile to Garrett’s face if there wasn’t another guy helping him to his knees.

Taking a step forward, the movement must have caught the stranger’s eye. He looked up from where he knelt and Garrett’s jaw dropped. Even with an alcohol-induced glaze, his eyes were the brightest blue Garrett had ever seen. Fuck, he remembered those eyes. What the hell was CJ Lamont doing at the Factory?

Beyond the artificial gaiety and laughter in CJ’s eyes, desperation lurked, driving Garrett to do something. The man waiting for his blowjob grabbed CJ’s chin, pulled his head around and pushed his face toward his groin. CJ tried to resist and Garrett stepped in.

“Go get the car, Quentin.”

Quentin seemed to understand it wasn’t the right time to argue with him. He turned and headed back the way they came, shoving people out of the way.

Bending down, Garrett grasped CJ under the arm and lifted him to his feet. “Let’s go.”

“Hey, you can’t go. He promised me a blowjob,” the man protested.

“There are a ton of other men here stupid enough to do that. Find one of them.”

Garrett didn’t pause for any other comments. He supported the shorter man while fishing out his cell phone. Hitting speed dial, he made his way to the door. CJ wasn’t protesting. Garrett checked to make sure he was okay.

“Where?” Quentin’s question shot through the phone.

“Meet me outside the side door.”

He hung up and stuffed the phone in his pocket. Garrett tightened his grip on CJ as the man almost tripped over his own feet. Sweat. Expensive cologne. Alcohol. Smoke. Scents rolled over him from the warm body in his arms. His cock took noticed and stiffened.

“Fuck,” he swore under his breath.

Now wasn’t the time to start lusting after someone, especially a gorgeous man so fucking drunk he couldn’t stand on his own.

“Stupid,” the man muttered. “Kept my mouth shut. Be driving right now.”

CJ’s sexy Southern drawl caressed Garrett even though the alcohol caused him to slur his words.

“No point thinking about it now. Let’s get home.” Garrett shouldered the door open and they staggered out on to the sidewalk.

His bodyguard never said a word, simply helped him get CJ in the car. Only when the car pulled away from the curb did Quentin ask a question.

“Where to?” His friend glanced in the rearview mirror at him.

“Home.”

Being one of the hottest up-and-coming new actors made him a frequent subject of the paparazzi. Being openly gay hadn’t caused his popularity to suffer, but it was that very popularity that made him seek out privacy where ever he could, so he’d bought an estate up in the hills above L.A.

He stared at the man slumped against the car door, wondering what had brought CJ to this low point in his life.

“Whiskey in the Jar” blared from his phone.

“Where are you, Gram?” he asked.

“I was calling to find out the same about you. Kasey and I are leaving the airport. Where do you want us to meet you?”

Thank God Kasey and Gram would be there to help him.

“Go straight to my house. I’ve got a problem and I’m going to need your help.”

He could almost feel Gram’s curiosity roll over the phone, but the man didn’t ask.

“Fine. We’ll be there in a few.”

“Thanks.” He hung up. Sighing, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat. “Did Rich get his stuff moved out?”

“I talked to the housekeeper earlier today before we flew in. She said Rich got the last of his stuff a week ago.” Quentin’s tone was neutral. Much like Kasey, Quentin hadn’t liked Garrett’s ex-boyfriend either, though neither man had bothered to say anything to him about Rich.

Garrett didn’t want to know, but he couldn’t stop from asking, “How’d he look?”

His bodyguard gave a slight shrug. “Terrible. Like he’d spent the weekend on a binge and dragged his stoned ass over to the house. She said he kept trying to get your new cell number from her.”

Garrett changed his number a month after they broke up because Rich would call him at all hours, begging Garrett to take him back or threatening physical harm if Garrett didn’t give him money. Garrett did neither.

It had hurt to watch the man he loved slide into the drug and alcohol lifestyle so many Hollywood people indulged in. Rich got caught up in the hype and lost himself.

Tears pricked his eyes and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d shed all the tears he planned on crying. The four months in Europe helped ease the pain, plus, watching Kasey and Gram fall in love showed him that not all relationships were one-sided.

“You did the right thing, Garrett.”

He looked up to see Quentin glance at him in the mirror.

“Rich would have bled you dry.”

“You and Kasey never liked him.” Garrett poked CJ in the side and the man grunted. “Just making sure you’re still breathing.”

“I’m breathing. Take more than a couple drinks to kill me,” CJ boasted.

“I don’t think you’d want to test that theory.”

CJ snorted. “I’m sure you’re right, but at the moment, I don’t care.”

Garrett turned to stare at the back of Quentin’s head. “Neither of you liked Rich. Why didn’t you say something?”

Quentin shrugged. “It wasn’t that we didn’t like him. We didn’t have a problem with him, just didn’t think he was the right guy for you. Would you have listened? You were young and in love. Rich made you happy. Kasey wasn’t interested in it becoming a fight where you had to choose between him and Rich. He was all right until you made the big time and he fell in with the wrong crowd.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m your bodyguard, Garrett. It’s none of my business who you date.”

CJ made a sound and Garrett shot a look at the man. He’d turned an interesting shade of green.

“Fuck. Quentin, pull over. He’s going to puke.”

Quentin cut across traffic, ignoring the squealing tires and blaring horns. Garrett had the door open before the car came to a stop and pushed CJ out. The man fell to his knees and started retching.

Garrett climbed out, joined Quentin at the front of the car and grimaced at his bodyguard.

“Why’d you grab him?” Quentin gestured behind them.

“Pathetic, I know, but I didn’t want to see him head down the same road Rich did.” Garrett scrubbed his hand over his head.

“Don’t try to save them.” Quentin shook his head and offered him a piece of gum. “You’re just going to wear yourself out and be disappointed. Most of them don’t want to be saved.”

“You’re right, but I saved him from Slingman tonight and that’s really all that matters. He’s that NASCAR driver, CJ Lamont. He helped me with some research for a part about a year ago.” He turned to see CJ slumped back against the back tire. “You done?”

“Yeah. Got any water?” CJ sat, knees bent and hands dangling between them.

Quentin got a bottle from the front seat and handed it to CJ. He took a swig, swished it around his mouth before spitting it out. Resting his head on the car, CJ glanced up at Garrett.

“Thanks.”

He nodded. “Welcome. Come on, get back in the car. I want to go home.”

CJ climbed unsteadily to his feet. “If you drop me near a bus stop, I’d appreciate it.”

“A bus stop? Why would I do that?” Garrett placed his hand on the small of the man’s back, giving him a short push.

“Shouldn’t have to take care of a fucking drunk.”

CJ’s inebriation worked in Garrett’s favor. The man didn’t have the equilibrium to keep his balance and he flopped into the car.

“I take care of drunks all the time. I guess you’d call it my secret passion. Quentin and I drive around L.A. collecting winos just so I can take care of them.” Garrett smiled, catching Quentin’s gaze in the mirror and winking.

“Smart ass,” CJ mumbled right before he passed out.

Garrett watched the city slip past as they drove to his house. Silence filled the car except for the soft snores of Garrett’s passenger.

Chapter Five

Garrett stood on his deck, staring out at the city lights. One of the reasons he loved this estate was how it rose above L.A. and made him feel untouched by the desperation of living here.

“Hey, bro.” Kasey stepped out through the open sliding glass door.

Their hug wasn’t a quick, macho embrace most men shared. It was strong and tight. As twins, they’d been together since before they were born and would be there for each other through everything life would throw at them. Even when he lived with Rich, he’d always gone to Kasey for advice or to talk problems over with. Garrett stepped back and stared at his brother. Kasey had leaned on him as well, but now his twin had someone to love and care for, leaving Garrett alone on the outside.

Gram interrupted his depressing thoughts. The Irishman gave him a quick hug and a friendly peck on the cheek. “You had Rita stock the fridge, right?” Gram asked as he headed back inside toward the kitchen.

“Yes. All your favorites.”

“We were running late for our flight. Didn’t have time for dinner.” A tell-tale blush dusted Kasey’s cheeks under the low lights illuminating the deck.

“Traffic can be bad that time of day.” He jabbed an elbow into Kasey’s side as they moved into the living room. “You should’ve taken a limo. That way Gram could’ve fucked you without making you late.”

“I had hoped, for once, you would refrain from commenting on my sex life,” Kasey complained.

Garrett snickered. “Thank God you finally have one for me to hassle you about.”

“You want something, babe?” Gram joined them in the living room, carrying a tray piled high with sandwiches, sodas and a bottle of beer.

The sodas were for him and Kasey. Kasey didn’t drink, not even during the off-season. His brother vowed never to be one of those out-of-control athletes who made their sport look bad.

“Thanks.” Garrett took one of the sodas and sat in his huge overstuffed chair. He loved the way it surrounded him, making him feel safe.

“What’s this problem you mentioned on the phone?” Gram took a bite from his sandwich.

“He’s in the guest room.” He nodded toward the guest wing. “He passed out on our way home.”

“He?” Kasey stiffened. “You didn’t allow that asshole back in, did you?”

“Asshole?”

“Rich. Please, tell me you didn’t take him back.” Kasey’s eyes, a darker shade of green than Garrett’s, pleaded with him.

“Oh fuck no. I’m not going to let him come back.” He shook his head. “No, this is a guy I rescued from Slingman at the Factory.”

“Slingman?” Kasey growled.

He nodded. He’d never found out what Slingman had done to Kasey, but his usually laid back twin hated the man. Slingman avoided them whenever they went to the club and his avoidance was probably out of fear.

“Someday you’ll have to tell me why you hate him so much.” Garrett turned when a noise from the hallway caught his attention.

CJ stood in the doorway, dark hair matted to his head. His stunning blue eyes were dull and blood shot. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Kasey was closest, so he jumped up. “I’ll show you.”

The man stared at Kasey and then glanced at Garrett. “Shit. I forgot there were two of you.”

“Yes. Has been for twenty-three years,” Kasey joked, gripping an elbow and leading CJ away.

Gram set his plate down and waited until they were out of sight before he said, “Fuck, Garrett. What the hell is CJ Lamont doing in your house?”

He shrugged. “Like I said, I picked him up at the Factory. Since I’ve been out of the country and haven’t heard any gossip, could you explain me what happened to him?”

“CJ Lamont has been in the news for months now. His ex-wife spilled her guts and ‘outed’ him during a newspaper interview.” Gram frowned. “Seriously fucked him up, too. He lost his sponsors and I wouldn’t be surprised if he loses his ride over the whole thing. Overnight, he went from star to outcast. It was mind blowing how fast everyone deserted him.”

Kasey came back and sat next to Gram. “It never ceases to amaze me how quickly everyone will turn their back on you when you don’t conform to their rules.”

“Where is CJ?”

“He’s cleaning up. I lent him one of my T-shirts.” Kasey snuggled closer to Gram. “CJ’s cute.”

“Remember you can look, but no touching, no matter how pretty those blue eyes are.” Gram pinched Kasey’s ass and Kasey squeaked.

Garrett ignored the teasing light in his brother’s eyes. “He’s messed up, Kasey. I mean come on, imagine what it would have been like for you. You build your career very carefully, making sure no one knows the truth about you. The one time you reach out for some kind of comfort and love, you get kicked in the teeth.

“Thanks for reminding me.” CJ stalked into the room. He’d exchanged his wrinkled T-shirt for one of Kasey’s, which hung on him.

CJ probably stood around six foot, making the man five inches shorter than Garrett and Kasey.

“Would you like something to eat or drink?”

“I’ll have whatever he’s having.” CJ pointed to Gram’s beer.

“Don’t think that’s a good idea, man. You’ve had enough to drink already.”

Kasey headed to the kitchen.

“Grab some more soda, Kase.”

CJ’s narrow-eyed glare might have scared him slightly if the man hadn’t looked like a kid wearing his dad’s shirt. “I don’t want soda.”

“Too bad. Gram drank the last beer and feeding a man’s addiction isn’t my thing.” He met CJ’s eyes with a steady gaze of his own.

“Bastard. Why the fuck didn’t you leave me at that club?” CJ nodded his thanks to Kasey for the soda.

“You were well on your way to getting in over your head with Slingman and his crowd.” Garrett gestured to the chair opposite him.

“I could’ve held my own,” CJ mumbled, slumping into the seat.

“Against Slingman?” Kasey shook his head. “You’re lucky Garrett got you out of there. By tomorrow, you would have been high on meth and fucked so many times, your ass’d be bleeding. Slingman isn’t a man to mess with.”

“So why’d you do it,” CJ asked Garrett, those blue eyes searching his face. “Why bring me home with you?”

“You were in no condition to be left alone. There was too much of a chance for you to do something even more stupid than what you were doing at the Factory. Besides it makes me feel good to help out those who can’t help themselves.” Garrett managed to bow from his chair. “Garrett Johnson, humanitarian and actor extraordinaire, at your service.”

“Actor extraordinaire?” Kasey snorted. “What a line of bullshit.”

“Hey,” he protested. “I’ll have you know that People magazine called me that in their review of Racing the Past.”

He stood and went to the table in the hall by the front door to dig out the magazine. Tossing it at Kasey, he smirked. “Read it and weep, bro. You’ll have to take back that smart-ass comment.”

“Holy shit.” Gram read the review. “They really did call him that.”

“How much did you have to pay the reporter to say that?” Kasey grinned.

He threw a pillow at his brother who caught it and winked. “I’ll have you know I’m proud of this film.”

“I know you are.” Kasey looked at CJ and Gram. “All I heard the whole time he was shooting it was that this could be his Oscar role. He had a lot of good stuff to say about you as well, CJ. Said you really helped him get into the part.”

“This is only your third starring role. Is it really that good?” Gram sounded skeptical.

“You went to the premiere.” Garrett frowned at him. “Didn’t you watch it?”

“No. I was too busy staring at your brother, counting the minutes until I could get him out of his tux.” Gram leered at Kasey. His brother blushed and leaned over to give Gram a kiss.

Garrett huffed. “What a perv. You missed my movie because you were cruising my brother.”

“The alcohol must have clouded my brain,” CJ muttered. “You’re a fag?” He stared at Kasey.

“Don’t ever use that word around me,” Garrett ordered CJ. “We’re both gay, but Kasey never advertised it like I did. At least not until he met Gram and then he busted out of the closet.”

Kasey rested his head on Gram’s shoulder and stuck out his tongue at Garrett. “I’m not used to dealing with the media like you are. I just told the truth and let them blow it out of proportion.”

“What about you, Lamont?” Gram asked CJ. “Do you like men or is your ex-wife just a bitch?”

Chapter Six

CJ met the challenge in Gram’s eyes and uncertainty tied his tongue. He shot a glance at Kasey and Garrett. He couldn’t really say no, considering what Garrett had caught him about to do in the club and the fact that he’d kissed Garrett a year ago. It was hard though. Even four months later, CJ was still dealing with having everyone know his secret.

“My ex-wife and the reporters say I am,” he hedged.

“Most reporters are hacks. They’re focused on what sells and sensationalism makes money.” Garrett waved his hand dismissively. “Trust us. We’ve been in the tabloids a lot since we hit the spotlight.”

“The good journalists will focus on your driving or my playing. They’ll report the important stuff. Not who we sleep with.” Kasey’s hand rested on Gram’s thigh.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Garrett let CJ off the hook. “We respect people’s privacy here.”

In light of the fact that the other men in the room were gay and could understand what he was going through, CJ made a decision and hoped it didn’t come back to haunt him. His life couldn’t get any worse than it already was.

“It’s true. Well, not everything she said was true, but the gist of it was.” He straightened his shoulders. “I’m gay.”

Gram and Kasey smiled while Garrett applauded.

“See it wasn’t too hard to admit. Sort of like Alcoholic Anonymous for gays.” Stopping behind CJ’s chair, Garrett patted his shoulder. “Of course, it does help when the other men in the room are gay as well.”

Electricity shot through CJ’s body, heading for his groin. Damn. He’d never forgotten how Garrett could make him hard with just a touch. Garrett’s fingers teased his skin under the collar of his shirt. Biting his lip, he fought to stifle his moan. He met Garrett’s eyes and a matching interest gleamed in them. The thought suddenly hit him that they were free. He from his wife and the closet he hid in. Could Garrett be free of his boyfriend?

“We go home in three days. Mom said we should rent a car. Amelia has a concert that day, so Mom’ll be busy with that.” Kasey fiddled with the button on Gram’s shirt.

The spell over CJ broke when Garrett winked and moved away to stand by the sliding doors leading outside.

“Cool. Will we get there early enough to catch it?” Garrett opened the doors, letting the cool California night air in.

“Unless there are delays, we should be fine. You know Amelia’ll be thrilled to have you there.” Kasey grinned at CJ. “Our younger sister worships Garrett. I think she wants to use his connections to score a record deal.”

“She’s only sixteen, Kase. I’m not going to feed her to the sharks just yet.” Garrett nodded toward Gram. “First time meeting the family. You ready for it?”

CJ watched Gram give Kasey a loving smile. He’d never seen two people look so right together and comfortable with each other.

“You two seem to have been raised right. I’d like to meet the people who created Kasey.” Gram gave the man beside him a quick kiss. “Plus, I can’t wait to hear the stories about you growing up.”

CJ yawned. The alcohol was wearing off, leaving him with a pounding headache.

“Here.” Garrett handed him two aspirins. “Take these.”

“Thank you.” He swallowed the pills. “I’m not putting anyone out?”

Garrett chuckled. “Have you seen the size of this house? I could have twenty people stay here and they’d all get their own room.”

“See you in the morning.” Kasey dragged Gram off down one of the halls.

“Actually, how long are you staying in L.A.?” Garrett led him back toward the room he’d woken up in.

“Don’t know. I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

Pain trickled in his heart. His home in Charlotte was besieged by reporters. He’d run to the opposite coast, looking for somewhere he could hide.

“Why don’t I have my security guy, Quentin, go to your hotel, grab your stuff and you can stay here?” Garrett stopped outside his room.

“What about you?” He opened the door, confused.

“I’m leaving in a few days and won’t be around for a month or so.”

CJ forced his body to stay in place while Garrett reached out to cup his cheek. His lips were stroked by a rough thumb. He licked Garret’s skin, tasting salt and something spicy.

Garrett groaned and slid his hand into CJ’s hair, pulling him closer. CJ managed not to tense. God, he wanted to share another kiss with him.

Their lips brushed together with a gentleness he’d never imagined two men could feel. It seemed like Garrett was trying not to make him nervous. Nerves weren’t his problem. Garrett was the only man he’d ever kissed. Denying his urges made it hard to get any experience. He wrapped his arms around Garrett’s waist, leaning against the actor’s chest.

“Open for me,” Garrett ordered softly.

CJ opened his lips, allowing Garrett’s tongue in. He shivered as Garrett teased the roof of his mouth. He moaned and rocked his erection against Garrett’s thigh.

He protested as Garrett eased away from him. “Please.”

“Go to bed,” Garrett murmured. “It’s late.”

“Wait. Why save my ass from that guy and put me up in your house?” He didn’t understand why Garrett would choose to do something for a guy he’d met a year ago and never talked to since.

“Aside from it being one of the finest asses I’ve seen, I don’t know. Probably guilt more than anything else. Someone very close to me slid down the path you’re taking. By the time I noticed, it was too late. If I can help someone else, maybe it’ll atone for my negligence. Besides, remember what I told you the last time I saw you; if you needed anything, I would help you out. Well, I’m thinking you need a friend and I’m willing to be it.” Garrett brushed a quick kiss over CJ’s cheek. “Goodnight.”

CJ found himself standing alone in his room, staring at the closed door. He stripped before he climbed in bed. Should he take Garrett up on his offer? Would staying here help him figure out what to do with his life now that he no longer had a career? Nothing had been announced yet about losing his ride, but the lawyers were more than likely trying to figure out how to fire him without getting slapped with a discrimination suit.

His mind wandered back to Garrett. His fascination with the movie star had started before he’d ever met him and grew stronger after spending a month together. Garrett had starred in many of his fantasies after their kiss.

Now this confident and sexy man was opening his house to him. As much as Garrett might be attracted to him, the offer came without strings. The guy wanted to help him out because of their past history.

Sighing, he rolled over and shut his eyes. Maybe it was time to stop dulling the pain and figure out a new plan for his life. Being rescued by Garrett might be a step in the right direction.

 

Garrett closed his eyes and curled up under the blankets. No matter how hot it got, he’d never been able to sleep without being covered by something. Rich used to complain about it. Then again, Rich complained about a lot of stuff after they’d moved to L.A. and Garrett had made it big in movies. He rubbed at his chest, trying to erase the guilty pain memories of Rich always caused.

The empty feeling of his king size bed had something to do with the confused man sleeping down the hall. Convincing the former race car driver to join him would have been easy, but it wouldn’t have been the ethical thing to do.

CJ’s world was tilting on its axis. More than a quick roll in the hay, CJ needed someone to talk to. Someone who understood what it was like to go through what he was going through. Okay, so that wasn’t really him. He came out when he was fifteen and never tried to hide it, but maybe Kasey could talk to him. What Garrett could offer CJ was friendship and a willing shoulder to cry on if the man needed it.

Shit, he’d just flown back from Europe and hadn’t gotten to talk to his brother about the fallout from his own announcement. Kasey didn’t sound worried about it and his brother’s serenity had a lot to do with Gram. Gram didn’t seem to be the type of guy who bailed at the first hint of trouble.

Gram would have gotten Rich help at the first sign of the man’s addiction, Garrett’s conscience whispered to him. He wouldn’t have signed on to do another movie and leave the man he vowed to love wallowing in the dark world of drugs and sex.

He rolled over, punching the pillow. He hated feeling like it was all his fault, but he’d listened to Rich’s tirades for so long that he came to believe he could have done something to stop his lover’s slide into addiction. Rich often told him if only he’d loved him more or given him more money to spend, he wouldn’t have turned to Slingman and the others to find his fix. If only he’d had spent more time with Rich going to clubs, the man might not have found comfort in other men’s bed. It was Rich’s rationalization that hurt the most.

There was no way he could have done that. He loved Rich with everything in him, but he couldn’t change who he was, not even for his partner. Garrett had never been interested in the spotlight unless it was for his work or for Kasey.

He forced thoughts of either man from his mind. Rich was gone and he’d be leaving CJ in L.A. in a few days. He could ignore the attraction for that short time.

Chapter Seven

Garrett walked into the kitchen in time to see Gram pin Kasey against the counter and devour his mouth.

“Ugh,” he grunted, making his way to where his mug sat next to the coffee pot. “Do you think you could manage to keep your hands to yourselves for two minutes? Or at least until I have my morning cup of coffee?”

Gram took his time ending the kiss before he stepped away from Kasey to give Garrett a smug smile. “We could, but where’s the fun in that? We’d rather annoy you.”

Kasey gave a breathless laugh and turned back to the eggs he was scrambling. “How’d you come to bring CJ home again?”

“You remember who he is?”

“I know of him.” Kasey gestured for him to grab some plates. “His story was plastered all over the newspapers a month or two ago. Also, I remember you said something about him when you were doing the movie last year.”

“What’s his story again? I was in Europe, remember? You know what I’m like while doing publicity tours.” He held the plates while Kasey filled them. He glanced at Gram. “The only person I usually talk to while I’m working is Kasey. Quentin’s with me, but he knows better than to mention anything about sports to me, except for basketball. I’m not a huge sports fan.”

“No wonder you had no idea what happened to him until I told you last night.” Gram pulled the juice out of the fridge.

Garrett sat at the small kitchen table, waiting for the other two to join him.

“His ex-wife outed him in a nasty tell-all interview.” Kasey shook his head. “I understand her bitterness. I’m sure it hurt to realize the man you love could never love you in return, but to destroy his life like that…”

“He could have denied it. His P.R. team would have been able to weave some tale and produce some woman for him to date. He stayed silent, admitted nothing and ran off. Unfortunately, it made him look guilty.” Gram dug into the food.

“CJ’s secret was splashed all over the news and the team he drove for left him high and dry.” Kasey took a sip of juice. “What made you bring him home?”

Garrett shrugged. “He was about to blow some bastard. I consider CJ a friend, even though we haven’t talked since I left Charlotte. There was desperation in his eyes and I couldn’t let him do it.”

His brother nodded. Kasey seemed to understand that Garrett wasn’t sure about his true reasons for his actions. The despair and anxiety in CJ’s blue eyes touched a spot in Garrett’s soul. He’d ignored or missed Rich’s pleas for help. He wasn’t going to allow another person to be eaten alive if he could stop them.

“I offered him the house to use while we’re gone.” He braced for the forthcoming protests.

Kasey didn’t argue. “It’s your place, bro. If you trust him, then it’s fine with me.”

Garrett checked with Gram, who wore a thoughtful expression. “What do you think?”

Gram laughed. “I’m not the most trusting guy, but if you’re cool with it, I’m not going to try and stop you. I do have an idea though.”

“What?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.

“Why not have CJ come with us to your parents’?”

He stared at his brother’s lover. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I kid about this?” Gram leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and looking at him. “Listen, you and Kasey have been out, for the most part, since your teens. I’ve been out for fifteen years. We know what people will say and how they’ll act.”

“CJ’s never had to deal with it. Gram might be on to something.” Kasey threw a kiss toward Gram. “Why not take him with us? He can adjust to his new life with guys like him. Give him a little confidence that his world’ll right itself.”

“He needs to find something do now that he’s most likely lost his ride,” Gram added.

“Lost his ride? What does that mean?”

“It means I got fired, though nothing’s been said officially yet.” CJ walked into the kitchen and looked at Garrett. “If your offer still stands, I’d like to take you up on it. Staying here might be just what I need.”

“Sure. Quentin’s on his way over, so as soon as he gets here, you can tell him what hotel your stuff’s at and he’ll grab it for you.” He gestured at the food on the counter. “Help yourself.”

“Thanks.” CJ piled a plate full of food.

Garrett studied him while he moved around the kitchen. CJ’s black hair glistened in the morning sun, at times gleaming a lustrous blue. CJ’s eye color was a brilliant shade of sky blue, and his frame was swamped by Kasey’s T-shirt that the man still wore.

When he joined them at the table, Kasey laughed. “Should have given you one of Gram’s shirts. It would have fit you better.”

CJ shrugged. “I’ll get my own stuff soon.”

Gram gave Garrett a sideways glance. His brother’s lover waited for him to suggest CJ travel with them to their hometown. As much as he was willing to let CJ stay in his house while he was gone, allowing CJ that deep into his private life might not be the right thing to do at the moment.

“What are you two doing today?” He ignored Gram’s look.

“I’m meeting with a gentleman who’s interested in selling me his club here in L.A.” Gram took a drink of his coffee.

“I’m meeting Paul for lunch. Afterward, I’m going to pick up some presents for our parents, and Jack and Amelia. We could all hook up for dinner and then go out to the clubs tonight.”

“I’m not sure I’m in the mood for dancing and having fun.”

“You’re just worried that you’ll see Rich and you don’t want to deal with him.” Kasey leaned over and tapped Garrett’s hand. “I think you need to get out and show the bastard you’re not mourning him.”

“Maybe I don’t feeling like going.” He met Kasey’s eyes with a pointed look.

“Bullshit. I’ll call you with the dinner reservations.” Kasey stood and pulled Gram to his feet. “Come on, love.”

“Do you want Quentin to go with you?”

“No. We’ll be fine.” Kasey and Gram left the kitchen.

CJ kept eating and stayed silent. Garrett sighed, took a sip of orange juice and set the glass down before looking at the other man.

“Rich is my ex-lover. We started to have trouble last year. I’m sure you remember some of the phone calls I got from him. I guess I should be glad we weren’t married or he would have divorced me and taken everything he thought he was entitled to.” He breathed, fighting the anger. “I ended it several months ago. He got into the whole sex and drugs scene and I won’t tolerate that. Drinking’s one thing, but meth and heroin are way different.”

Nodding, CJ leaned back in his chair. “A lot of the guys on the circuit drink. The heavier drugs haven’t become mainstream yet, but they’re available if you know who to ask.”

Garrett stood and took his plate to the sink. After rinsing it, he set it in the dishwasher. When he turned, CJ was right behind him, holding his own plate out. He took it, but didn’t turn away. Garrett wanted to see what he would do. CJ rose up on his toes and brushed a quick kiss over Garrett’s cheek.

“Morning.” CJ blushed and moved out of the kitchen.

He washed off CJ’s plate and stuck it in the washer, then made sure it was running so his housekeeper didn’t have as much to do when she was here before he went to find the other man.

CJ stood on the verandah facing the backyard. He leaned against the waist-high stone wall encircling the sitting area. Garrett watched him pat his jean pockets like he was searching for something.

“You can smoke out here if you want.” He stepped outside and found the ashtray he had started keeping out there. “Gram does whenever he comes to town with Kasey.”

Shaking his head, CJ grinned at him. “I’m trying to cut down on my vices. Thought smoking would be easier to give up than drinking.”

“How’s that going for you?” He eased next to CJ, resting one butt cheek on the wall.

“You don’t see me smoking, do you? Just get the urge once in a while when I get nervous or start thinking about shit.”

“Seems to me what you’ve been through could drive a man to drink and smoke.” He caught one of CJ’s hands and laid it on his thigh.

He froze, eyes pinned on their hands. “Drinking’s been my escape for years. Didn’t get me anywhere except wrapped around a toilet in the morning, puking my guts out.”

Garrett rubbed a thumb over CJ’s knuckle. “Your whole world changed when your ex-wife spilled the beans about you. Drinking isn’t going to make those words disappear. You need to figure out what you’re going to do.”

“What is there to do?”

CJ leaned closer to him, but Garrett didn’t mention anything about it. “There are several things you could do. You just have to figure that out for yourself.”

“Hey, Garrett.” Quentin walked out onto the verandah.

CJ jerked his hand away and moved several feet down the wall. Garrett frowned, but turned to his bodyguard.

“Quentin, got a job for you. CJ’s going to stay at the house for a while. Can you go over to his hotel and pick up his shit?”

His friend shot a glance from him to the other man. “Sure. Just need the key.”

Digging in his back pocket, CJ pulled out a plastic card. “I’m staying at the Hilton downtown in room 546. I didn’t unpack, so it should all be in a duffle bag on the bed.”

“Good enough. I’ll go get the bag and be back in an hour or so.” Quentin checked his watch. “You have two interviews this afternoon. One at the MGM lot and one at the Abbey.”

“Damn. Forgot about the second one. It’s okay. I’ll be ready for them. They just want to ask me about the new movie and probably one of them will ask about Rich.” Garrett shook his head. “Interviews weren’t what I got into this business for.”

“But they’re part of it. Deal with it.” Quentin laughed as Garrett flipped him the finger. “See ya.”

“Quentin’s your bodyguard?”

“Yeah. Quentin’s been with me for three years. Shit. Feels like the bastard’s been around forever some days. I got a couple death threats when my first big movie came out.”

CJ shot him a quick look. “Seriously?”

“A few people didn’t want an openly gay actor playing such a beloved historical figure as a young Thomas Jefferson.”

He could laugh now about those threats, but at the time, he’d been a little freaked out by them, which was why his agent and the studio got him a bodyguard. Quentin came highly recommended from an L.A. security firm. They got along so well that Garrett lured him away and hired him permanently.

“People get riled up about the stupidest shit.” C.J grinned. “So you kept him, huh?”

“He’s still a bodyguard first, but he’s become more of a personal assistant. He keeps me on track at times. I really hate doing interviews. That’s why he reminded me about them or else I’d conveniently forget I had to go do them.” He stood, stretching, and hid a smile as CJ studied the tanned skin his shirt riding up revealed. “I’ll make sure you have his number before I leave. Quentin doesn’t go home with me. It’s his vacation from me as well.”

“With as much time as you two spend together, I’m sure he needs it.” CJ edged closer.

“True. His wife, Lisa, is happy for it as well, especially if we’ve been gone on location for a shoot. She’s been forgiving so far. Now that he’s taking over more of the business stuff, I might look into getting a different guy to travel with me. That way he isn’t gone for months on end.”

“I’m sure she’ll be happy about that.” CJ sounded distracted.

Garrett turned a little more and grabbed CJ’s hand. “You can touch me. I don’t mind.”

He laid CJ’s trembling hand on his stomach, making sure to slide it up under his shirt. He sucked in his breath. CJ’s hands were rough and seemed to drag over his skin. Bending forward, he kissed CJ gently, licking the seam of his mouth and hoping he would let him in.

CJ opened for him. He took his time with the kiss, encouraging the other man’s own tentative movements. Garrett learned CJ’s mouth and each little spot that made him shiver or gasp. He kept his hands wrapped around CJ’s, not wanting to lose the only other physical connection they had.

Garrett became lost in their kiss. Each second was better as the dark-haired man began to participate. CJ’s hand flexed, scraping his calloused fingertips over Garrett’s stomach. Light-headed, Garrett pulled away slightly, panting. More than anything he wanted those hands stroking all over his body, but CJ wasn’t ready for that from the stunned expression on his face.

He managed to make himself take CJ’s hand off his stomach and lifted it to his mouth. He placed a single kiss in the palm, touching just the tip of his tongue to the salty skin and the older man shuddered.

Winking, he let go of CJ’s hand. “Moving a little too fast, I think. I try to keep my hands off you, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Your hands aren’t the problem. It’s your lips.” CJ’s laugh shook.

“True.” Garrett took a deep breath to settle his pulse. “What would you like to do? Maybe go to the beach or sightseeing?”

CJ shook his head. “Too many people. I’m not ready to be recognized by anyone yet.”

Garrett understood. “You’re welcome to stay here. The pool’s on the side of the house and there are a ton of movies to watch.”

“I don’t have a swimsuit.”

“We can fix that. I’d offer you one of mine, but there’s no way they’ll fit you.” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. Flipping it open, he dialed Quentin’s number. “Hey, could you stop by a store and pick up swim trunks for CJ?”

He traced the lean lines of the race car driver. “I’d say thirty-four or medium should do it.”

“Quentin doesn’t have to be my personal shopper. I’ll be fine without them.”

Garrett shot CJ a skeptical look. “You’re going to go skinny dipping in my pool?”

A cute blush colored the man’s cheeks. “Ummm…that isn’t what I meant.”

“Damn. I was looking forward to that.”

Quentin’s voice filled his ear.

“I’ll be good, friend.”

He hung up and stuffed the phone back in his pocket. “Come on. I’ll give you a tour of the house and then I have to call my agent to find out about these interviews I’m doing.”

Garrett spent the next thirty minutes showing CJ around the house, pointing out the small theater and extensive DVD collection he had. He sat in one of the seats in the theater, watching CJ look through the movies.

“You have a huge collection.” CJ shot him a quick smile.

“I’m an actor. Thank God, I’m finally getting roles where I can use my acting skills instead of my hot body.” He flexed his arms with a laugh. “Before Kasey hooked up with Gram, we’d spend hours watching movies. I learned what made a good movie. Not only the script, but the actors and actresses who made those roles come alive.”

CJ sat next to him and stared up at the screen. “Did you always want to be an actor?”

He slouched, propping his feet on the seat in front of him. “I think so. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love movies. I’d watch the old black and whites with my grandparents. We’d spend hours talking about how we’d rewrite the story to make it better and I started acting out parts.”

Garrett chuckled and shot to his feet, digging through the DVDs for one in particular. “Here it is.”

Holding up a case, he went to the player and popped the disc in. “You’ll enjoy this.”

He pushed play and settled back down. The opening scene showed a marquee that read “Romeo and Jules. Starring Garrett Johnson and…” The other name was blurred out.

CJ turned to look at him with a questioning quirk of his eyebrow. “Romeo and Jules?”

“Yeah. The Gay-Straight Alliance at my college put it on. We rewrote a few of the scenes and raised money for various charities. I had to blur the name of the guy. He totally freaked when he found out Kasey had videotaped the play. He’s a big shot actor now, but straight, or at least ‘straight acting’, and he doesn’t want people to get the wrong idea about him from the video.” Garrett shrugged. “It’s not like he was sucking my dick or anything. There were just a few kisses, but it must be one of those skeletons in the closet thing.”

His guest grunted, his eyes focused intently on the screen. He leaned back, letting the play draw CJ in while he studied him. There was a small scar at the corner of CJ’s mouth. Garrett wanted to trace the white line with his tongue and dip inside to taste the morning coffee CJ had drunk. Garrett’s cock swelled, pressing against his jeans and he shifted. Damn, he’d gotten hard and there would be no relief for him anytime soon. He had to get away from CJ or he’d end up seducing the man right there.

As much as Garrett wanted CJ, the man wasn’t ready for sex yet. No matter what CJ had been about to do at the Factory, he had some issues to deal with before he’d be open to more than kissing. Garrett checked his watch and stood.

“I have to call my agent before he starts panicking. Watch whatever movie you want and I’ll have Quentin find you when he gets here.”

CJ grinned at him. “Thanks.”

He couldn’t resist. Bending, he pressed a quick kiss to the corner of CJ’s mouth, right where the scar was. “Welcome. I’ll catch up with you before I leave.”

Glancing back right before he left the room, Garrett saw CJ touch his lips like he was trying to memorize the touch of Garrett’s mouth. Garrett smiled, knowing it was wishful thinking on his part.

He made his way to his study. He did have work to do, even if it wasn’t something he enjoyed doing.

Chapter Eight

CJ stood in the doorway, watching Quentin load the luggage. Garrett, Kasey and Gram were going to Garrett’s parents’ in Northern California. Garrett had explained that he and Kasey tried to make it back home together at least once a year. An odd sense of loneliness settled in the pit of CJ’s stomach. He’d gotten used to hanging out with the three men.

Swimming and watching movies for the past two days calmed his mind and he started thinking about how to fix his problems—what options he had and whether driving was one of them. He hadn’t come to any solutions yet, but at least he was thinking and not panicking or reacting.

The sound of squealing tires drew his attention away from the luggage and his mouth dropped open when a red sports car slammed to a halt behind the SUV the bodyguard was packing.

“What the fuck, Rich?” Quentin stared down at the bumper just a few inches away from his knees.

“Where is the asshole, Quentin? I want to talk to the bastard.” A rail-thin man climbed from the sports car and weaved his way toward Quentin.

CJ stepped from the porch and made his way down the front walk. Quentin shook his head as CJ moved. He stopped, but not in time. Rich focused on him and sauntered over. He stood as Rich circled him, checking him out from head to toe.

“So, Garrett threw me out for this little bitch?”

His eyebrows shot up. Little bitch?

“No, Rich. Garrett threw you out because you’re an alcoholic druggie who couldn’t keep your dick in your pants or your legs closed.” Quentin came to stand next to CJ. “You know you’re not supposed to be here.”

“You always defend him. Does he give you head when your wife won’t?” Rich spit the venom-filled words at Quentin.

Putting a hand on Quentin’s arm, CJ restrained him as he stiffened.

“Don’t. He’s not worth getting arrested over.” CJ took a step back, pulling Quentin with him.

“That’s right, Quentin. Listen to the bitch. Touch one hair on my head and I’ll have you arrested so fast your head will spin.” Rich stalked them, mirroring every step.

“What’s going on out here?”

CJ groaned as Kasey, Gram and Garrett came out of the house. He’d hoped to get inside without Rich ever seeing Garrett.

“Hello there, love.” Rich batted mascara-caked eyelashes at Garrett.

A look of disgust settled over Garrett’s face. “Rich. I told you never to come back here.”

Rich pouted. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“I stopped being glad to see you when I found your stash of meth in our bedroom. It’s your life. You can destroy yourself if you want to, but I refuse to allow you to take me down with you. Not anymore, Rich.” Garrett shifted to stand in front of CJ.

“I’m not even gone a month and you’ve already found a replacement for me. And from Slingman no less. You always told me you didn’t like that man, love.” Rich’s makeup-smeared face hardened into a sneer.

“Get out of here, Rich. There’s nothing here for you anymore.” Garrett’s voice was tight and his shoulders tense.

CJ didn’t think about his actions. He simply reached out and rested his hand on Garrett’s shoulder, trying to give the actor support.

Rich’s hazy eyes stared at CJ touching Garrett and something must have snapped in him. He shrieked, launching himself at CJ with hands raised to scratch or injure.

“Fuck.” Garrett turned and shoved CJ out of the way.

“You fucking redneck. I know who you are. You’re that fag race car driver. I won’t let you take Garrett away from me. He’s mine and will never love you.”

Gram and Quentin dragged the screaming man away from Garrett. CJ took Garrett’s hand, leading him back into the house. He pushed the actor onto the couch and headed to the side bar while keeping an eye on Garrett. CJ poured a shot of whiskey and held the glass out for Garrett to take.

“I don’t…” Garrett shook his head.

“Yes, you do. It’ll settle your nerves.” He wiggled the glass until Garrett took it.

The actor slammed it back and hissed as the burn hit him. “Shit. That stuff tastes terrible. I remember why I don’t drink it.”

CJ watched Garrett set the empty glass on the coffee table. A thin line of red caught his eye. He sat next to Garrett and turned him slightly to look at the back of his arm. Two vivid scratches marred Garrett’s golden tan.

“He nailed you.” He caressed the skin around the wounds. “Do you have a first-aid kit?”

“They’re just scratches, CJ.” Garrett dropped his head into his hands.

“Maybe, but even scratches can go septic if the skin is broken. And your ex didn’t look all that clean to me. You don’t know where his hands have been.”

“It’s under the sink in the bathroom you’ve been using.”

CJ patted Garrett’s shoulder as he stood to get the kit. No point in risking infection. He pulled the kit out and headed back into the living room. The other men came in.

“Damn. Rich looks like shit,” Kasey commented as he sat in one of the chairs across from Garrett and CJ.

“Kasey.” Gram frowned at his lover while settling on the arm of Kasey’s chair.

“What? I’m just saying that he’s really let himself go.” Kasey shrugged.

CJ tugged at the sleeve of Garrett’s shirt. “Roll this up. I don’t want to get anything on it.”

Garrett didn’t say anything, just rolled up his sleeve and went back to looking at the carpet. CJ opened a package of antiseptic pads, wiping one carefully over the scratches. Garrett’s skin twitched and without thinking, CJ blew on the wet area. Garrett hissed and shivered.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

Garrett squeezed his knee. CJ finished bandaging the marks and leaned back, resting a hand on Garrett’s back. Quentin sat in the other chair.

“Rich is gone. Kasey talked to the police and they said you should come down to file a restraining order.” Quentin held up a hand to stop Garrett’s protest. “What if he had a gun, Garrett? He could have done a lot more damage than two little scratches on your arm. What if you were here by yourself? I’m not always with you.”

“What if he goes after someone who can’t defend themselves?” Gram gave CJ a small smile. “I’m sure Lamont could have taken care of Rich without our help, but what if Amelia was here? You have to think about these things, Garrett. Get beyond the love you and Rich used to share because it’s not there anymore.”

“The tabloids will have a field day with this.” Garrett turned a little, resting against CJ.

“Screw the tabloids. Most of those reporters wouldn’t know a true story if it bit them on the ass.” Kasey glared at his brother. “The important thing is that Rich not be allowed to come near you again.”

“We’re going to be late leaving.” Garrett ignored Kasey.

CJ rubbed his hand over Garrett’s back, trying to ease the tension from his stiff muscles. “Do all gay men scream like banshees when they’re mad?”

Everyone looked at him and he shrugged.

“Rachel, my ex-wife, didn’t scream like that when she asked for a divorce. She was mad and hurt, but she cried. Not sure if I want to deal with a guy who’s going to shriek like that.”

“The only time it’s good to have a screamer as a boyfriend is when you’re fucking him,” Gram stated.

Kasey blushed and everyone else laughed. Garrett relaxed even more against CJ and he slipped his arm around Garrett’s waist, hugging him closer.

“I’ll call your mother and let her know you won’t be there until late tomorrow. It should be fine.” Quentin stood, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Wait.” Garrett turned to look at CJ. “You want to go home with us?”

CJ’s mouth fell open like a fish out of water. “Ummm…”

“Sorry to drop it on you like this.” Garrett cupped CJ’s face. “I don’t want you here by yourself. Now that I know Rich is in town and he’s seen you, he’ll go to the gossip rags. They’ll camp outside the gates and you’ll never get a moment of peace around here. Come home with me.”

“But your parents…?”

“Won’t mind. We’re bringing Gram along this time.” Kasey nodded at his lover. “One more won’t matter in the least.”

Something about this group of men intrigued him and made him reluctant to say no. Also, CJ wanted to spend more time with Garrett. Before his “outing”, he’d never gotten time to get to know guys who attracted him. He couldn’t risk someone finding out, but now it didn’t matter.

“If you’re sure they won’t mind, I’d love to go with you.”

The smile Garrett gave him made a warm wave rush through him, pooling in his groin. CJ shifted, looking for room in his suddenly snug shorts for his cock.

Quentin nodded and started dialing. “I’ll let your mother know you’re bringing someone else. We should head down to the police station, Garrett.”

Garrett stroked a thumb over CJ’s bottom lip before turning to look at Quentin. “Can’t an officer come out here? I really don’t want to be seen walking into the station.”

Kasey stood, along with Gram. “I’ll find out for you. You should put on some trunks and go sit in the hot tub. Gram and I will see about dinner.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” CJ agreed. “Mind if I join you?”

“No, I don’t mind.” Garrett stood and made his way toward the back of the house.

CJ changed into his swim trunks and went out to where the hot tub was. Garrett wasn’t out yet, so CJ slipped into the bubbling water and leaned against the side of the tub, resting his head on the edge.

The sound of a rock skittering over the stone deck drew his attention. Through half-opened eyes, he watched Garrett make his way to the tub, wearing a brief pair of black swim trunks. Well-formed feet flowed into muscular calves, lightly furred thighs and a tight ass. The spandex showed off the bulge at Garrett’s groin and CJ forced his gaze to move up. He wouldn’t stare at the man’s crotch, no matter how tempting it might be.

Garret bent to drop towels next to the tub. His ripped abs made CJ’s mouth dry with the urge to run his tongue over the grooves. Garrett stepped into the bubbling water, standing right in front of him. Without stopping to think, CJ reached out and traced the golden skin over his hip.

“CJ.”

His name drifted over him on a soft exhalation of Garrett’s breath.

“Sit down, Garrett.” CJ smiled.

He settled next to CJ and the motion of the jets rubbed their bodies together. CJ didn’t pull away when Garrett grasped his hand. He leaned back and closed his eyes again. The gurgling noise of the hot tub soothed CJ, easing the tension he carried in his shoulder. Letting go of Garrett’s hand, CJ slipped his arm around the other man’s waist and let him rest his head on his shoulder.

They sat that way until Quentin stepped out and gestured for Garrett.

“The police officer is here.”

Garrett sighed. CJ stayed put while Garrett climbed out of the tub.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“Thanks for the offer, but you stay here and relax. It won’t take long.” Garrett shot him a smile and followed Quentin back inside.

“Mind if we join you?”

He glanced up to see Kasey and Gram standing on the deck. Kasey held a tray with glasses of lemonade on it and Gram held plates of fruit. Nodding, he slid over to give them room. They got in and arranged themselves without crowding each other. Kasey moaned as he sank up to his neck in the water.

“I can’t wait to get home.” Kasey splashed his face. “We never have to deal with this shit there.”

“Neither of you left behind crazy ex-boyfriends?” Gram winked at CJ.

“I didn’t, that’s for sure. Didn’t have any boyfriends back then.” Kasey stroked Gram’s chest.

“Good. I didn’t want to have to deal with jealous men. Some of them are worse than women. I hate tossing the men out of the club. Must be why I pay Bo to take care of security for me.”

“Paul mentioned he had lunch with Bo last week.” Kasey held out a glass to CJ. “Have some freshly squeezed lemonade.”

“Garrett’s housekeeper is a wonderful woman,” Gram murmured before taking a sip from his glass. “I wonder if there’s something going on between Bo and Paul.”

“Paul was pretty evasive when I asked. That makes me think there might be. Paul’s still dealing with Rhiannon’s leaving him.” Kasey placed a piece of melon at Gram’s lips.

CJ looked away, not wanting to stare at the couple.

“I think we’re making Lamont a little uncomfortable, love.” Gram nodded toward him.

Kasey patted CJ’s shoulder. “Sorry about that. I tend to forget where I am sometimes when I’m with Gram.”

“Nice problem to have.” Would he ever get comfortable with his sexuality?

“Only if you’re someplace safe where people aren’t going bother you about who you’re feeding.” Gram shoved the fruit toward CJ. “Have some. I put in some lasagna, so it’ll be a little while before dinner’s ready.”

“Thanks. Was your friend Paul married?”

“No, but he was serious enough about his ex that he told her he was bisexual. She couldn’t handle it. Rhiannon ended up leaving him right before Gram and I got together.”

“Harsh.” He admired Paul for admitting it to her before they got married. “At least he had the courage to do it before there was a wedding.”

“True.” Kasey leaned against Gram. “Who knows? Maybe Bo’s just what Paul needs.”

“Bo’s never had a serious relationship in his life.” Doubt colored Gram’s words.

“Paul doesn’t need a serious relationship right now. He needs sex.” Kasey laughed.

“Bo can help him with that.”

“Are you discussing your slut of a club manager?” Garrett entered the tub and sat next to CJ.

“Yes, we were. He and Paul had lunch together.” Gram cuddled Kasey close to him.

CJ drank his lemonade and let the conversation flow around him.

Chapter Nine

“Garrett!”

Amelia, Garrett’s little sister, raced from the house as he stepped from the Yukon. He braced for impact and managed not to stagger as she threw herself at him. Wrapping her in his arms, he twirled around in a circle.

“Amelia, you’re getting prettier every day. Dad and Jack are going to be beating the boys off soon.” He kissed her cheek after setting her back down.

“You’re such a charmer.” She swatted his arm. “Where’s Kasey?”

“They should be here soon. We rented separate vehicles in case we decide to split up.”

CJ came to stand by him, eyes wide, acting like he had never been greeted as enthusiastically by his own family.

“Is Gram with him?” Amelia’s eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“Of course, silly. They’re practically attached at the hip.”

This trip would be the first chance for the family to meet Gram and Garrett knew Kasey was nervous about it.

“You and Jack be good. Kase has been sweating bullets. He’s worried you won’t like his new boyfriend.”

“You like him, don’t you, Garrett?”

He glanced up to see his mom, dad and younger brother walking down the front drive. He gave each of them a hug and kissed his mom’s cheek.

“Yeah, Mom, I do. Gram’s perfect for Kasey, keeping him from being a hermit as well as standing by him when the shit hit the fan about being gay.”

The slightest bit of envy slid into Garrett’s heart. He’d always believed Rich would be there for him like that. It was hard to see Kasey find what Garrett had wanted.

“Sorry we missed your concert,” he apologized. “We got delayed and couldn’t leave yesterday.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now.” Amelia’s gaze skated over to CJ. “Who’s this?”

“I’m CJ Lamont.” CJ held out his hand. “Garrett and Kasey bragged about how well you play. I’m sorry to miss it.”

She blushed, pleased. “Maybe I can play for you some night, Mr. Lamont.”

“I’d love that. Please, call me CJ.” CJ greeted Garrett’s parents politely. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping in like this, Mrs. Johnson. It was a last minute change of plans.”

Garrett caught the quick glance his mother shot him before she smiled at CJ. He would have some explaining to do later.

“We’re always happy to welcome our children’s friends. Please, call me Nancy. This is Garrett’s father, Jacob.” His mother was gracious, as usual.

His father frowned. “CJ Lamont? Your name sounds familiar.”

CJ paled and Garrett almost stepped in when Kasey pulled into the driveway. All but Jack rushed off to greet his twin and Gram. His youngest brother nodded at CJ.

“It’s a shame what happened, man. You’re the best driver out there. It’s going to suck if they really do drop you.”

CJ sighed and Garrett squeezed the man’s shoulder. When CJ met his gaze, he said, “It’ll get a little easier every time. Some people will be assholes and some won’t.” He waved toward his family, who were hugging Gram like a long-lost family member. “My family’s used to gays and though they freaked when we came out, they’ve come to accept it.”

A car drove by and a pretty blonde leaned out the window, yelling Jack’s name. Jack shouted back at her.

“Both Jack and Amelia are straight, which helps, though it doesn’t ease their minds. Girls calling Jack all the time and boys wanting to take Amelia out on dates.” He chuckled.

CJ grinned. “Your siblings are a good-looking bunch, but I think I like the oldest brother best.”

His heart skipped a beat. Was CJ flirting with him? Kasey had teased him during dinner last night about being older by five minutes. He fought the urge to reach out and trace the shape of that grin. If there was anything to their attraction, he didn’t want to rush it.

“Grab your bags, boys.” Jacob hefted one of their suitcases and headed in.

“We’re having a quiet family dinner tonight. Tomorrow, your Aunt Barbara is having a cook-out and the rest of the family will be there.” Mom laughed as Kasey groaned. “It’ll be fun. You moan about it, but you end up having the most fun.”

“Rooms?” Garrett asked.

He and Kasey had shared a room until they left for college. Their parents had turned it into another guest bedroom.

“Kasey and Gram have the blue room.” His mom hesitated.

“I’ll bunk with Jack and CJ can have the other room.”

No pressure and his parents wouldn’t assume a relationship that wasn’t there yet. He couldn’t help but hope something might arise by the time they headed back to L.A.

“Kasey, you take Gram and CJ up to their rooms. Jacob, make sure the grill’s on. Jack and Amelia, set the table.” His mom crooked a finger at him. “You, help me in the kitchen.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

It was his mother’s not-so-subtle way of getting him alone to interrogate him about CJ. He followed her through the house to the brightly lit kitchen. So many conversations had been held around the small round table in the breakfast nook. Basketball games and high school plays were dissected and rehashed at the table.

The night he told his parents he was gay, he’d gathered his mom and dad at the little oak table. All day long he’d rehearsed a long, involved speech about being gay and how it wasn’t their fault, that he’d been born that way. He smiled at the memory of their stunned faces when he blurted it out instead of easing them into his declaration. His mother cried and his dad had been speechless. Things got really complicated when Kasey spoke up and said he was gay as well. Many midnight conversations were spent with his folks and Kasey, talking about what being gay meant in his town and in the world.

The family tradition continued with Jack and Amelia talking about their lives while his mother cooked dinner or whipped up a snack for them and he’d join in if he was home. It was a habit he and Kasey didn’t try to break. No matter where they were, whether at Kasey’s condo in Phoenix or Garrett’s home in L.A., they would still gather in the kitchen to catch each other up on their lives and problems.

“Here, make the salad while you tell me who that young man is and why he’s here with you.” She handed him a head of lettuce and a knife.

“He was the NASCAR driver I worked with last year for the movie that just came out. Or, he used to be, until his ex-wife dragged him out of the closet a couple of months ago.” Garrett sliced the green leaves.

“That’s where I read his name.” Garrett’s dad walked in, a look of recognition on his face. “A terrible thing to do. I haven’t heard anything about him losing his ride yet.”

“It was, but CJ doesn’t seem to hate her for it. He says they both have issues to deal with and she needs someone to blame for her problems.” Garrett shrugged. “He’s much more forgiving than I would be if Rich aired any of our dirty laundry. CJ figures the lawyers for his racing team are trying to spin his firing so they don’t get called bigots. I think most people will assume he got fired because he is gay.”

“Guess he figures he’s got enough to worry about without adding her to his problems.” Jacob pulled the steaks from the refrigerator.

“That could be it. He’s been reeling from the fallout and hasn’t had time to think about any of it.” Tomatoes were next to be chopped.

“How’d you meet up this time? Cars and racing aren’t really your thing.” His mother freed the beans from the oven.

“I helped him out of a bad situation at a club and decided he needed to get away from everything. Coming here will let CJ see being gay isn’t terrible or bad. It’s just different; like having different colored skin or religion.” He gave both his parents a pleading look.

His mother patted his cheek. “You can count on us. We’ll spend most of our time getting to know Gram. It’s about time your brother brought someone home.”

Garrett’s tension eased. He said a silent prayer for being lucky enough to have parents like his. “Thanks, Mom.” He hugged her.

“Think CJ would be willing to talk cars?”

His father’s one hobby was restoring cars. Jacob had restored several since his kids were born. Unfortunately, none of his children were mechanically inclined, leaving him no one to talk to about cars.

“I’ll ask, Dad.”

“Ask what?”

Kasey, Gram and CJ filed into the kitchen. Garrett caught CJ’s eye and smiled. CJ grinned back, happiness looking good on him.

“Just wondering if CJ would want to go and check out Dad’s cars.”

CJ’s face lit up and Garrett was glad he asked.

“I’d love to see them. What do you have?”

“You can look at them after dinner,” Mom admonished, handing dishes to her children. “Jacob, get those steaks on the grill.”

“Yes, Nancy.” Dad turned to CJ. “I’ve got a nineteen-forty coupe, a nineteen-sixty-five Mustang and a nineteen-seventy Charger. All fully restored with as many original parts as I could find.”

“Wow.” CJ held the back door open for Jacob and went out with him to cook the steaks.

Garrett and Kasey exchanged smiles. Finally, their father had someone to talk to about his true love.

Dinner was fun and relaxing. For the first time since Garrett rescued CJ from the club, CJ seemed to have let go of his worries. He watched to see CJ smile and how gorgeous the other man looked when he laughed.

After dinner, Kasey volunteered to wash dishes. Gram, Jack and Amelia offered to help and Garrett sent CJ out with his dad to show his cars off. Garrett and his mother settled in the living room with coffee and she pinned him with a serious gaze.

“How are you doing?”

He shrugged, avoiding her knowing eyes by studying his cup. “Good.”

“I’m your mother, Garrett, and no matter how good an actor you are, you can’t fool me.” She squeezed his hand. “Tell me the truth.”

Sighing, he looked at her. “I’m getting back to normal. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore.”

“Have you seen Rich since you threw him out?”

“Yes. Someone told him I was back in town and he stopped by the house yesterday. That’s why we didn’t fly out yesterday.” He set his cup down and rested his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. “Rich looked terrible. The meth is eating him alive.”

Tears filled his eyes and he swallowed the lump in his throat. “He blames me for everything and tried to attack CJ.”

“CJ? Why?”

“He was screaming about CJ stealing me away from him. How I was his and he wasn’t going to let some redneck take his place. Thank goodness Quentin and Gram were there. They took care of Rich without getting Kasey or CJ involved. Neither one of them can afford any more scandal.”

“What about you? Shouldn’t you be worried about bad publicity too?”

He shook his head. “Any news is good for me. People expect their movie stars to be embroiled in scandal, but most hate it when their sports stars are. I guess they hold them to a higher standard.”

“What happened?” She rubbed his back.

“Quentin and Gram got Rich to leave. A police officer came out and I filed a restraining order. I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t want to risk Quentin or anyone else getting hurt because Rich is crazy.”

She hugged him. “I know, honey. I know.”

He savored the love in her embrace and breathed her familiar perfume, White Diamonds. It was nice to lean on someone else for a few seconds. Garrett had always been the leader with Kasey falling in line behind him. He’d done his best to protect his twin from the negative stuff in the world.

“Is Rich the reason you helped CJ out at the club?”

“Yes and no. I didn’t want to see him make a mistake and ruin his life or kill himself. So part of it was guilt.” He closed his eyes and thought about CJ. “I’ve spent the last three days with him, Mom. He’s funny, smart and so confused right now.”

“Just be careful, baby boy,” his mom cautioned him. “CJ seems like a nice man. He’s certainly handsome, but he’s denied who he is for so long, it might end up being easier for him to run back in the closet.”

“I know.” Being openly gay was never easy, and for CJ, being gay and doing what he loved might be impossible to reconcile. “I want to help him. More than anything, I want him to be happy.”

“He’s lucky to have you helping him. I don’t want you hurt again, Garrett. We’ve always thought Kasey was the wary one. He never had boyfriends and you had hundreds, yet you’ve only given your heart to one man and he broke it.”

“I did trust Rich,” he admitted. “I’ll be more cautious next time.”

“Don’t miss out on something good because of Rich either.”

He grinned at her. “Which is it? Be careful or fall in love right away?”

“Both.”

They laughed as he gave her a quick hug.

“It’s a woman’s right to be confusing.” She picked up her coffee and took a sip.

“Must be why I never dated any.”

Kasey, Gram and the teenagers joined them. Jack pulled out the board games, another tradition in their family. The first night Garrett and Kasey were home, the family would play games and spend time together. Jacob and CJ came in from the garage. It was times like this that reminded Garrett how wonderful his family was.

 

*

 

CJ tried to get out of playing with the Johnsons, but the others wouldn’t let him off the hook.

“If I have to play, man, so do you,” Gram informed him.

He glanced around, seeing smiles and acceptance on everyone’s face. Meeting Garrett’s gaze, he saw him nod.

“Come on, CJ. It’ll be fun. Trust me, we don’t bite.” Garrett gestured to the spot next to him on the floor.

“All right,” he agreed, sitting close. He rubbed his shoulder against Garrett’s.

Garrett rubbed back and winked at him.

“It’s your turn, Garrett.” Amelia handed Garrett a pair of dice.

Relief rushed over CJ when Garrett’s attention moved away from him. Johnson could be intense and CJ wasn’t used to anyone like that. It would take some time to feel comfortable with a man flirting with him.

The only encounters he’d had with men were anonymous pick-ups in bars, rest areas or any place where no one would care who he was or what he did for a living. Once he got married, he’d stayed away all together. He cared for Rachel, but he could never love her.

His mind buzzed while he managed to keep up with the game. Garrett was a warm solid presence beside him. The man wore a woodsy cologne that kept CJ’s cock hard, and his laugh brought a smile to CJ’s face.

Some of Garrett’s interest in him probably stemmed from the guilt over the break-up of his relationship. CJ’s run in with Rich helped him understand why Garrett might be worried about him falling down the same hole.

He hoped Garrett was attracted to him as a person, not a project. He’d never allowed his heart to feel this way about anyone, male or female. It was easier to keep all friendships on the surface. He could walk away from those before he got hurt.

A roar of laughter interrupted his mental wanderings. Gram tackled Kasey and started tickling him. Amelia and Jack joined in. Garrett laughed so hard, he fell against CJ. Without thinking, he put his arm around Garrett’s waist, supporting the man in his mirth. Garrett’s parents looked over the chaotic scene with indulgent smiles. Mrs. Johnson caught his eye and nodded toward the rolling bodies.

“Usually it’s Garrett and Kasey wrestling around. They can fight like cats and dogs. Must come from being twins.”

Being an only child, he didn’t have a clue, but he nodded like he understood. His dad worked at the auto factory in his home town and his mother worked the lunch shift at the town diner. There had never been time for family moments like this. Life had worn his parents down and they were tired by the time he was born.

There were occasional bright spots. He’d bought his first car with his own money and his dad helped him fix it up. His mom always made cherry pie for his birthday. His childhood hadn’t been bad, just different from the Johnsons’.

“All right. Who wants some dessert?” Mrs. Johnson stood and clapped her hands.

“Is it Grandma’s cookies?” Kasey asked, panting from the spot where he lay.

“What else would we have for dessert the first night you’re home?” Amelia poked him in the side.

“Sit down, Mom. CJ and I’ll get them.” Garrett climbed to his feet and offered CJ his hand.

CJ hesitated for a second before putting his hand in Garrett’s. He was pulled to his feet with ease. Garrett’s hand lingered for a moment. He smiled shyly at Garrett and he grinned back.

“Milk for everyone?”

A chorus of “yes” followed them into the kitchen. When they were out of sight, Garrett snagged CJ and pulled him tight to his chest. Resting his hands on Garrett’s shoulder, he stared up at him.

Any protest flew out of CJ’s head the minute Garrett’s lips touched his. He whimpered, opening to the other man’s unspoken demand. Garrett thrust his tongue into CJ’s mouth, stroking and teasing. CJ sucked on it and drew a moan from Garrett.

Threading his fingers through Garrett’s blond curls, he enjoyed the soft strands caressing his skin. Shivers wracked his body as Garrett nibbled on his bottom lip and cupped his ass, grinding their erections against each other as their kiss went deeper. Heat built along his spine and he wrapped his leg around Garrett’s thigh, getting closer to him. CJ closed his eyes, passion and want whirled in his head, causing his chest to tighten and his lungs to protest their lack of oxygen. God, he’d never wanted someone like this—like a drug addict craving his fix. An uneasy tremor worked its way down his spine, warning him that he could easily grow to need Garrett more than he needed air to breathe.

“What’s the hold up?” Kasey’s voice sounded close to them.

CJ broke away from Garrett, and a chill rushed over him. Fuck. What the hell was he doing making out with Garrett in his parents’ kitchen?

Swollen lips and tousled hair was a good look on Garrett. CJ’s fingers itched to rub along the other man’s plump bottom lip. Sweat beaded on CJ’s forehead like a fever burned under his skin, but embarrassment mingled with his lust. How could he have gotten so caught up in Garrett’s kiss that he forgot where they were?

“Not the best timing.” Garrett grimaced, adjusting the obvious bulge in his jeans.

“Your parents,” CJ croaked out.

“Don’t really care as long as we don’t do it in front of Amelia and Jack.” Garrett winked. “They still like to believe those two are sweet and innocent.”

He didn’t reply, trying to slow his breathing and get control of his body.

Garrett hummed as he removed a carton of milk from the refrigerator. “Can you grab the glasses?”

CJ took eight glasses out of the cupboard Garrett pointed at and set them on the counter. After Garrett poured the milk, CJ put the drinks and cookies on the tray before heading toward the living room.

“CJ.”

Garrett’s soft words stopped him at the doorway and he glanced over his shoulder. “Yes?”

“If I’m pushing you, tell me.” Garrett looked down the floor before flashing an unsure smile. “I can come on strong and I don’t want to do that, especially if you’re not ready.”

After setting the tray on the counter, CJ cupped Garrett’s stubble-covered cheek and brushed a quick kiss over his mouth. “Give me time to adjust to being open about my sexuality, Garrett. I’ve wanted you since we first met and that’s not going to change.”

“I’ll try. I really didn’t plan on seducing you when I asked you to come with us.” Garrett nuzzled CJ’s hand.

“I know.” Another quick kiss and CJ grabbed the tray again. “We better get out there before they come looking for us.”

Garrett grinned and followed him out to join the others.

Chapter Ten

Pounding and shouting woke CJ the next morning.

“CJ,” Garrett called from the other side of the door.

“What?” he shouted, rolling over to look at the clock beside his bed. “It’s seven fucking o’clock.”

Garrett pushed open the door and walked in to flop on his bed. CJ tried not to drool as he stared at the actor, a walking wet dream wearing a pair of black shorts and running shoes.

“Kasey and I are going for a run. Wanted to know if you’d like to go with us.” Garrett’s eyes seemed riveted on CJ’s chest.

Pushing up, CJ leaned back against the headboard. “What about Gram?” He tried not smiling while he scratched his stomach, and Garrett shifted.

“He’s being lazy. I’m supposed to wake him up when we get back.”

He looked up to see Kasey standing in the doorway. It still amazed CJ how much the twins looked alike. Kasey’s green eyes were darker and Garrett was bulkier, but those were small details. The tattoo at the small of Garrett’s back drew his attention.

Reaching out, he traced the black ink work. Garrett drew a deep breath and a delicate shiver chased over the tanned skin. CJ glanced at Kasey.

“Do you have one?”

Kasey shook his head. “Can’t stand needles.”

“What does it mean?” He skimmed the soft flesh.

Garrett moaned quietly. “It’s a Celtic knot. Symbol of reincarnation and infinity.”

“Beautiful.”

“Rich wanted us to get them as a symbol of our undying love. I should have seen the signs. He chickened out after I got mine done.” Garrett grimaced.

Kasey looked like he wanted to say something but CJ beat him to it. He pressed the palm of his hand to the ink work and leaned forward to kiss Garrett. He moved back enough to meet Garrett’s eyes.

“Look at it as your ability to go on. Your heart was broken, but you didn’t break. It’s a symbol of your strength.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Let me get dressed and I’ll go with you.”

“Cool. I’ll grab some water.”

Laughing, CJ climbed out from under the covers as Garrett bounced off the bed and left. He pulled on a pair of shorts before he realized that Kasey hadn’t left. An uneasy feeling danced along his spine. The twins were protective of each other. Was Kasey going to warn him away?

He turned and found Kasey studying him.

“I hope you’re not messing with my brother.” The warning radiated in Kasey’s words.

“Messing with him?”

“You’re new to this whole being out thing. Maybe it’s intriguing at the moment, but when push comes to shove, I don’t want you breaking Garrett’s heart.” Kasey’s eyes were intense.

“When push comes to shove? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you get involved, the tabloids will find out and your face will be plastered all over every entertainment rag. Are you ready for photographers following you everywhere or will you run back into the closet?”

CJ stalked to Kasey and glared at him. “You’ve had to have read a magazine or two in the last month. My involuntary revelation pushed your news off the front page.” He poked Kasey in the chest. “It almost destroyed me. If I had the support of a lover like your brother instead of the frail woman I married, I might have admitted my preferences a long time ago.”

“Even if it meant losing your ride?’ Kasey didn’t react to CJ’s finger digging into his chest.

“Hell, asshole. I’m going to lose my ride anyway. I would have preferred losing it on my own terms instead of having someone spill my secrets all over the media.” He turned away, dug out socks and sat to put his shoes on.

“Just so we understand each other.”

“Warning received and duly noted,” he muttered.

“You two coming?” Garrett yelled down the hall.

They’d been running for ten minutes when CJ broke the silence after an elderly lady called out a greeting as they jogged past her front yard.

“Does everyone in this town know you?”

The twins laughed.

“Sure. We’re the most famous people to come from here. Whatever we do is front page news here.” Garrett waved to a man driving by.

“How did they react when you came out?”

Kasey grunted and nodded toward Garrett. “He stunned our parents with the news when we were fifteen.”

“You were so supportive, you informed them you were gay as well.” Garrett stopped, bent over and panted.

“Yes, I did, but Garrett didn’t keep it in the family. He wanted to start up gay clubs and a parade while I managed to stay under the radar.”

CJ drank from his water bottle then asked, “People just accepted you?”

“Hell no.” Garrett shook his head. “My parents got calls from upset parents and the school got calls as well when I wanted to start a Gay-Straight Alliance club. Some people didn’t want their children associating with a queer and big macho guys tried to kick my ass.”

“Did they?”

“I was tall and pretty much built the same as I am now. Plus I had Kasey guarding my back. I might be gay, but I wasn’t a cream puff.” Garrett flexed his pectoral muscles.

Savoring the fact that the actor was running without a shirt on, CJ’s eyes fastened on Garrett’s light brown nipples. As his gaze devoured them, the little pieces of flesh hardened. He clenched his hands into fists to keep from touching them.

“After a couple months, the panic died down and people dealt with it. Some have embraced it.” Garrett nodded toward a sign hanging at the small movie theater. It proclaimed “Garrett Johnson performed here”.

“What about when you came out, Kasey? I bet the reporters had a field day.” CJ managed to drag his gaze off Garrett’s chest.

“They did, but they didn’t get any dirt from the townsfolk who circled the wagons and kept their mouths shut. Mom said it was like everyone in the town had forgotten how to talk. The townspeople weren’t about to gossip about us to outsiders. Though Old Lady Peterson told a reporter she didn’t care if I slept with the President as long as I kept hitting three-pointers during games.”

The brothers exchanged smiles before Kasey checked his watch.

“We better head back. Didn’t you promise Amelia you’d drive her and her friends to the mall?” Kasey smirked at Garrett.

“What the hell was I thinking?”

“Maybe the thought of teenage girls giggling and flirting with you is an ego boost.” Kasey shot CJ a wink.

“It would be if I liked girls.” Garrett swatted CJ’s ass and took off running. “You’re coming with me, Lamont.”

He tore after Garrett. “That’s not fair. I didn’t volunteer for taxi service.”

“No, but I’m not going to suffer on my own.”

“Thanks for coming home with us, CJ,” Kasey yelled.

“Why?”

“You get me out of mall duty.” Kasey soon disappeared around the corner ahead of them.

CJ and Garrett matched strides. He didn’t like working out, but being in top physical condition improved his driving, though it didn’t matter anymore. It wouldn’t be long before his team dropped him.

“What’s wrong?” Garrett bumped their shoulders together.

“Thinking about driving. I’m going to have to figure out what I’m supposed to do now.” He stared at the sidewalk. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was drive race cars. I barely finished high school. What do I do?”

“Aren’t there other teams out there? And your team hasn’t dropped you yet. There’s always a chance they’ll keep you.”

“Yeah, but none of them are going to touch a gay driver. I’m not saying all fans are homophobic. A good many of them are though and it’s enough to make any owner think twice about hiring me.” A hint of sadness tainted his voice.

“You could always go back in the closet. Hire a good P.R. firm and get your reputation back.” Garrett didn’t sound too sure about that idea.

CJ stopped in front of the Johnson house, leaning against the fence. “I could and it would be easy to discredit Rachel. I could call her bitter or delusional, but they would all be lies and she doesn’t deserve that. I’m the one who failed in our marriage, not her. I’m twenty-seven. It’s time I take responsibility and admit the truth.”

Garrett’s hand rested on his shoulder. “Which is?”

A smile teased the edges of CJ’s mouth as he gazed at the brightest green eyes he’d ever seen. “I’m gay. Always have been.” He kissed Garrett. “For the first time, I’m glad about that fact.”

“Come on, you two. We have to pick up my friends in thirty minutes,” Amelia yelled from the front door.

 

*

 

Garrett rolled his eyes and grimaced at CJ as another round of giggles came from the back of the Yukon. CJ’s grin made him want to hold his hand, but he tried to keep any public displays of affection to a minimum, a rule Rich had never really understood. His ex would get angry when Garrett wouldn’t hold his hand in town and often accused Garrett of being ashamed, but it wasn’t shame stopping him. He didn’t want to rub the townspeople’s noses in his sexuality. They had been remarkably tolerant and he didn’t want to push his luck.

“Garrett, is CJ your new boyfriend?” Sally, Amelia’s best friend, leaned between the seats to ask.

He shot a glare at Amelia, whose innocent face didn’t fool him. CJ watched him as well.

“It’s none of your business, Sally.”

A statement like that had never stopped the girl before. She’d make a great reporter someday.

“Come on, Garrett. You can tell us. We’re friends.” Sally had been drooling over CJ since she’d gotten in the vehicle.

“Haven’t you heard about ‘not kissing and telling’?”

“Oh, you kissed,” she squealed. “Is he a good kisser?”

The question had been directed to CJ. A wild look crossed the man’s face and Garrett had the urge to rescue him but wouldn’t. CJ had to learn to deal with questions like that one.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Sally?” CJ studied the girl.

“Yes.” She blushed.

“Is he a good kisser? Have you done anything else besides kissing?”

Sally’s face was beet red and she shifted uncomfortably. “Ummm…”

“Being on the receiving end of personal questions isn’t so much fun, is it?” CJ’s words were firm, but understanding.

“No.” She started to sit back.

“Remember that.” CJ placed a hand on her arm and winked. “Yes, he is.”

The girls in the back seat screeched with laughter and Garrett’s face grew warm. God, he hadn’t blushed since he was twelve.

He pulled into a parking space. They had already arranged a time to meet back up that would get them home in plenty of time to get ready for Aunt Barbara’s cook-out.

The girls piled out and headed inside, gathered in a tight clump, whispering and giggling. He put on sunglasses and a baseball cap. Most of the time, he could wander the mall without being bothered but he didn’t want to take the risk of being mobbed today.

“You ready?” he asked CJ.

His friend nodded, slipping on his own sunglasses. They meandered into the building.

Half an hour later, Garrett flopped into a chair outside a restaurant. He groaned, letting go of the bags he carried. “I think my hands are permanently frozen into hooks.” He wiggled his fingers, trying to get the blood flowing back into them.

CJ chuckled. “You were the one who offered to carry the girls’ bags. Do we need to make another run to the truck?”

“You know, I do believe a few of these bags are yours.”

CJ shrugged. “What can I say? It’s nice to have someone else carry my stuff for me.”

“Usually Quentin goes with me and we split the load.”

A waitress stropped at the table. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’d like a soda, please.” Garrett nodded to CJ.

“Diet soda, whatever you have.” CJ glanced at the menu. “Chips and salsa as well.”

“You can drink, you know,” Garrett said after the waitress left.

“Alcohol’s part of my problem. I got a DUI about four months before Rachel’s interview came out. I got suspended for three races and Morik made me promise not to touch alcohol while I drove for him.” CJ pursed his lips. “In the end, I guess it won’t be the alcohol that gets me.”

“I don’t drink much. Never got the taste for it, I guess. Plus my body and my face are a major part of my livelihood. Don’t want to risk ruining them.” He settled in the chair and studied CJ “Why NASCAR?”

He smiled at the waitress as she set their drinks and food down. CJ pushed his glasses to the top of his head and ate a chip before he answered.

“I grew up in a small town in Tennessee where my dad worked at the auto plant until it shut down a couple years ago. My friends and I were crazy about two things, Volunteers football and stock car racing. I figured out early on I wouldn’t have the size or talent for football, but I liked speed and I had the reflexes for driving.”

CJ’s voice trailed off and his blue eyes lost focus. Garrett stayed quiet, letting him tell the story in his own time.

“I started hanging around the dirt tracks down there and picked up rides as soon as I got my license. The owners noticed I was good, so I moved up the ranks.”

CJ trailed a finger through the water rings on the table.

“My parents were proud of me. Stock cars were something my dad could understand. Besides, I was making money and helping pay bills.”

It didn’t sound like CJ was particularly close with his family. He laid his hand over CJ’s, causing him to freeze and Garrett considered letting go. Before he could, CJ relaxed, turned his hand over and entwined their fingers.

“When I was eighteen, I got offered a ride in the BUSCH series. It’s like the minor leagues of stock racing. And I married Rachel. I had it all,” he whispered, staring at their hands.

“We have to go, Garrett, or we’ll be late and Mom’ll be mad at us.” Amelia raced up to them.

He gave CJ’s hand a squeeze and stood, disappointed. He wanted to hear more about his life, but they had time to get to know each other later.

“Grab a bag, Squirt, and we’ll get your friends home. We’ll be fine.”

Giggling, she ran off to gather her friends, who whispered to each other while Garrett paid the bill. He handed half the bags to CJ and led the way out of the mall, avoiding harried mothers and bored teenagers. Feeling eyes on him, Garrett glanced over his shoulder to spot CJ ogling his ass. He put a little extra swing in his hips, knowing only CJ would notice it. A smothered gasp from behind him made him smile.

After they’d dropped the last girl off, CJ grasped his hand. Surprise rocked Garrett. He didn’t have a problem holding hands in front of Amelia. She’d become immune to the novelty of two men showing affection. He was amazed CJ would reach out on his own, but basked in the low level buzz of desire the other man’s hand in his created.

Chapter Eleven

CJ managed to smile at the elderly lady who pushed another piece of apple pie into his hand. He’d eaten more food than he believed possible. He waited until she moved off before he deposited it on a table and went looking for a quiet place to sit.

The moment they stepped foot in Aunt Barbara’s back yard, the twins and Gram had been surrounded by family. CJ was pushed aside in the rush. He didn’t mind. Crowds tended to make him nervous. He couldn’t even do interviews very well.

“You queer, too?”

He turned to find an older man standing in front of him. The man glared at him, a beer can in one hand. CJ wasn’t sure what to say. As much as he was willing to admit his preferences, he still didn’t think it was anyone’s business.

“It makes me sick the way they fawn all over those fags.”

The man swayed, the alcohol on his breath almost overwhelming CJ. He looked around, searching for help or an escape route.

“None of them have the guts to tell those cock suckers to get lost. Too much money. Too famous,” the man muttered.

CJ inched away, not wanting to do something he’d regret.

“Don’t you walk away from me, you fag.” The man grabbed CJ’s shoulder and jerked him back around. “Which one of them sucks your cock? Or are you the sucker?”

The man’s voice grew in volume until everyone could hear his crude words.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink,” CJ said in a calm voice.

The man squinted at him, trying to see him through blurry eyes. “I know who you are. You’re CJ Lamont. I read all about you. Guess you don’t need to answer me. We all know you’re queer.”

CJ’s hands shook and his face grew warm as he held tight to his control.

“Should’ve known you weren’t a man. Too pretty. Acting all high and mighty.”

The man shoved him and CJ didn’t look to see who caught him as he stumbled. He jerked away and glared at the drunk.

“Hope they let your pansy ass go. Couldn’t drive a car worth shit anyway. Wonder how your father feels having a homo for a son.”

“Uncle Jeff, that’s enough,” Kasey said from behind CJ.

“Don’t talk to me. Guess being a homo is catching. First Garrett and then you. Now you’re bringing more fags with you every time you come to visit.” Jeff scowled. “Contaminating good people with your perversions.”

A small part of CJ’s mind was amazed the drunk could say such big words.

“Jeff, you promised.” An embarrassed-looking woman pushed through the crowd.

“I would’ve kept my mouth shut, Maggie, but they have no decency. Bringing more of their kind to town.”

CJ wasn’t prepared when the drunk swung, landing a fist in his face.

“Shit.” Kasey swore.

Anger exploded through CJ along with pain. He was tired of being made to feel ashamed of who he was. Years of believing he was sick or a pervert for being attracted to men boiled in him and he lost control.

A swift left to the gut and a right to the chin laid Jeff out. Someone wrapped their arms around CJ’s waist, holding him back from hitting the asshole any more.

“Enough. He’s down,” Garrett whispered in his ear.

CJ didn’t fight against Garrett’s embrace. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe; calming himself the best he could. “I want to leave.”

“Yeah. We should go.” Garrett agreed and let him go.

He opened his eyes to see Maggie kneeling on the ground next to Jeff. She glanced up at him.

“I’m sorry.” He’d never believed violence solved anything.

“It’s not your fault.” She absolved him of guilt. “He promised me he wouldn’t say anything. I’ve told him before it’s none of our business what other people do. Jeff never could control his mouth.”

Garrett grasped CJ’s hand and tugged. “Come on. Gram went to get the truck.”

They didn’t speak again until they were in the back seat of the Yukon. Gram and Kasey sat in front.

“I’m sorry about ruining your party.”

“No. You have nothing to apologize for. Uncle Jeff is a drunk and like Maggie said, he’s a loud mouth know-it-all.” Kasey turned and looked at him. “There have been times when I’ve wanted to punch him.”

“You’re just being nice.” He flexed his hand, frowning at the scraped knuckles.

“Are you okay?” Garrett’s question was soft as he cradled CJ’s hand in his.

He shrugged. Was he okay? “In a way, yes. I’ve had so much anger boiling inside me. Punching the bastard felt good, but I shouldn’t have done it. It could cause you trouble and I don’t want that.”

Garrett shook his head. “We’ll deal with it if it happens. That’s what being family means. I feel bad for Aunt Maggie. She has to deal with a lot of shit from him.”

“I have a few relatives like him. Get a few drinks in them and all the hate and bitterness inside spews out. Only their issues were Catholics and the British,” Gram commented.

“Will you apologize to your parents for me?” CJ met Garrett’s gaze.

“Are you leaving?” Garrett’s grip on CJ’s hand tightened.

CJ looked out the window at the passing scenery. “I think that fight proves I’m not fit for spending time out in public.”

“Is that the only reason why you’re leaving?” Garrett reached out and cupped his chin, turning his face to meet those knowing green eyes.

“When the interview came out and reporters besieged my house, I ran. The only person I talked to was Chick, my best friend and crew chief. I didn’t make a statement to admit or deny.”

“Which makes you look guilty and ashamed.” Kasey nodded. “That’s the same situation I was in, though I couldn’t run. They had me trapped in an alley.”

Gram laughed. “Also, you weren’t in a good mood.”

“True and I had already planned to come clean, but I did want to talk to my agent before I said anything. The reporters didn’t give me time.”

Kasey squeezed Gram’s thigh.

“Your parents knew you were gay. It wasn’t dropped on them like mine was. I haven’t talked to them since that day.” He scrubbed his free hand over his face. “Seeing you with your family made me realize I need to tell them the truth face-to-face.”

They pulled into the Johnsons’ driveway. He hopped out and went to the door, waiting for Kasey to unlock it.

“You pack while we get you a flight. Where do you need to go?” Gram gestured up the stairs.

“Memphis. I’ll rent a car and drive home.” He gave the nightclub owner a weak smile.

Without taking a moment to think, he headed up to the room he’d slept in. He stuffed the few items of clothing he’d unpacked back into his suitcase while Garrett went into the bathroom. Coming out, Garrett handed him his toothbrush and razor, waiting for CJ to drop the stuff in his bag before snaking an arm around his waist and pulling him tight against his chest.

CJ slid his hands around Garrett’s neck and threaded his fingers through his blond curls. He sank into the kiss, opening up for Garrett’s tongue. Garrett grasped his ass and pressed their groins together. He eased a few inches away, trying to calm his heartbeat.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Garrett rested his forehead against CJ’s.

“As much as I’d love to say yes, I won’t. I don’t know how they’ll react and you don’t need to get involved in any ugliness.”

Sighing, Garrett stepped away. “We haven’t known each other long enough for me to insist I go with you.” A smile graced his face for a second. “Do you have a cell phone?”

CJ shook his head. “I left mine at home in Charlotte. Didn’t want people calling me.”

“On our way to the airport, we’re going to stop and get you a new one. I’ll stick you on my plan so no one can find your number.” Garrett rubbed a thumb over CJ’s bottom lip. “You can call me whenever you want to and if you need me, I’ll fly out.”

A knock sounded on the door and they turned to see Kasey standing in the doorway.

“Tonight at nine was the earliest we could get a flight for you.” Kasey studied him. “You know you can contact either Gram or me as well. Those of us in the limelight need to help each other.”

“Thank you.” He walked over and hugged Kasey. “I might need to talk to you when I’m done at home. I’m going to make a statement afterward.”

“Good idea. I’ll give you my agent’s number and let James know you’re going to call him. He’ll help you out.” Kasey returned the embrace.

“Would he be willing to take me on as a client for a little while? I have to figure out what I’m doing for the rest of my life.”

“He might be. Talk to him. If he doesn’t want you as a client, he’ll at least give you good advice. I was lucky and he didn’t drop me when I came out, even though I didn’t tell him beforehand.”

Garrett checked his watch. “We have enough time to get you a new phone and something to eat before you fly out.”

CJ picked up his bag and headed downstairs with Garrett and Kasey. His heart raced at the idea of sitting in the house he grew up in and telling his parents he was gay. He rubbed one sweaty palm on his jeans, nerves getting the best of him and he hadn’t even left yet.

Standing by the door, Gram hugged and kissed CJ. “Hang in there, man. It’ll get better.”

Not convinced, a weight pressed down on CJ’s shoulders, telling him things were going to get worse before anything got better.

“I’ll take your word on that.”

They laughed as Garrett led CJ to the Yukon.

 

*

 

Garrett sat on the bed CJ had slept in the night before. He ran his hand over a pillow and shook his head. He always picked the complicated men and all his relationships seemed to come with baggage, though he didn’t have a real relationship with CJ, only the hope of one.

“He’ll be okay.”

He looked up and watched Gram walk into the room. “I know. I wish he didn’t feel like he had to do it alone.”

Gram joined him on the bed. “I get the feeling he’s used to being alone. Who knows? Maybe his family is waiting eagerly for him to come home.”

Garrett’s skeptical look made Gram chuckle.

“Not everyone hates CJ, Garrett. He didn’t give anyone time to comment before he ran. He’s never checked back in to find out if he still has friends.”

“Can you blame him? Getting shoved out of the closet isn’t enjoyable. He was blind-sided.” Garrett glared at his brother’s lover.

“I know, but no matter how much you want to help, you can’t save him from this.” Gram gripped his shoulder tightly. “He’s not going to fall apart. Not anymore.”

Garrett stood, pacing in front of Gram. “I wish he could have spent more time with us. Do you think he knows he can call us if he needs anything?”

“I don’t, though we’re the only gay men he knows well enough to ask for help.”

“That’s not really comforting.” Garrett stared out the window.

“What do you want me to say, Garrett? CJ will call us because we’re his friends?” Gram shook his head. “The guy’s only known us for a week. You only spent a month with him before that. Do you usually form lasting relationships with any person after that short of time?” Gram climbed to his feet and headed out of the room. “Don’t worry. Things will be okay.”

Garrett appreciated Gram’s pep talk, but he couldn’t help worrying about CJ. A small part of him wished they’d had sex at least once before CJ left for Tennessee in case he never came back. All Garrett could do now was wait for him to call.

Chapter Twelve

CJ turned the car off, staring at the house he grew up in. The single level ranch was painted a dark green every year. When he’d received his first big endorsement check, he’d paid off the mortgage. His father’s pride had been insulted at first, but CJ explained it as fifteen years worth of rent he’d never paid.

He took a deep breath. It was now or never. Both of the cars he’d bought for his parents were in the driveway. Climbing out, he made his way up the steps and opened the door.

“Mom? Dad? Are you home?” he called.

“Christopher,” his mother cried, running to him with open arms. “You’re all right.”

“Sure I am, Mom.” He stumbled a little when she threw herself into his arms. Her familiar rose scent filled his nose and eased his nerves slightly.

He looked over her head at his father, who stood in the doorway leading to the living room. Their gazes met and Dad nodded at him.

“Why didn’t you call us?” His mom shook him, glaring up at him. “We were so worried. All those terrible lies Rachel said about you. Poor thing. She needs to get help.”

A jolt of surprise hit him.

“To think she’d go to such lengths to hurt you. I never knew Rachel was so vindictive,” Mom continued to babble.

Again, he looked at his father, who shrugged.

“Mom, can we sit down? I need to talk with you and Dad.” He gestured to the living room.

“Certainly, dear.”

With both of them sitting on the couch facing him, he didn’t know what to say. His mouth was dry and his lips refused to frame the words. A vise settled around his throat, forcing him to cough. His mother gave him an encouraging smile. Dad’s face was blank like he had idea of what CJ was going to say. All he ever wanted was their approval and to make them proud of him, and now all of that hard work could blow up in his face.

How did someone go about destroying all the carefully constructed walls he built to protect himself? Where had Garrett and Kasey found the courage to tell their parents? He wished he had asked them that before he left. Maybe it would have made his own admission easier.

“I talked to Chick,” Dad said.

He shot a startled glance at his father. “Really?”

“Yeah. He called me a day or two after the interview came out.”

No clue in his father’s expression or tone told CJ how he was dealing with the situation.

“I’ve had several conversations with Brad. He says we can sue Rachel for libel.” Mom frowned. “Or was it slander?”

She gave a shaky laugh. “Doesn’t matter. We should do something to stop her from spreading all those filthy lies about you.”

He looked at the picture over the fireplace. He’d been so excited and proud at his first official NASCAR race. He’d worked so hard to achieve that goal and it was gone now, all because of his ex-wife’s childish need to hurt him.

With a phone call to his agent, Brad, and a lawsuit against Rachel, he could get his ride back. His reputation would be salvaged, but only by ruining someone he’d hurt enough.

All those nights of listening to his wife cry because he couldn’t make love to her. The hurt in her eyes because he’d never told her he loved her. Finally, the sheer desperation that made her divorce him. He wouldn’t do that to Rachel again.

“She’s telling the truth, Mom. I’m gay.”

Deafening silence greeted his words. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he turned to look his parents in the eye.

“Since when?” His mom’s strangled question made him laugh.

“Probably all my life, but I wasn’t strong enough to admit it to myself much less anyone else.”

Smack.

His head rocked back as his mother slapped him.

“This isn’t funny, Christopher Joseph Lamont. How dare you play such a disgusting joke on your father and me?”

Stunned, he touched his burning cheek. “It’s not a joke. I’m gay, Mom. That’s why I won’t be hiring a lawyer and suing Rachel. She’s had a hard life being married to me and I refuse to hurt her any further.”

Another ringing slap and he stared at his mom.

“Mom?”

“Get out of this house. No son of mine will be gay. I don’t want to see you until you get that perverted notion out of your head.” She poked him in the chest. “How dare you?”

Her voice became so shrill, CJ couldn’t distinguish the words. He continued to back up, trying to get away from the raving lunatic his mother had become. He couldn’t meet his father’s gaze, sure he would find the same hatred.

The instant he stepped on the porch, she slammed the door and the lock engaged.

“That went well,” he muttered, heading back to his car. He opened the door and started to slide in.

“Christopher?”

Straightening, he whirled around and watched Dad walk toward him. He braced himself, expecting another attack.

“Do you have a number I can reach you at?”

His mouth dropped open. “You aren’t going to beat me up or call me names?”

“No point to it. Your mother’s had enough of a breakdown for the both of us.”

CJ’s hands shook as he dug through his pockets to find a napkin from the plane. He wrote down his number. “I got a new phone.” He shot a quick glance at the house. “Won’t she get mad at you for talking to me?”

“She shut herself in our room.” His father had a worried expression on his face. “Do you have somewhere to stay? I know you don’t want to go home to Charlotte yet.”

“I’ll stay in town and figure the rest out tomorrow. Why aren’t you freaking out like Mom?”

“I’ve had a couple of months to get used to the idea. I told you Chick called me and informed me that what Rachel said was the truth. He said you confirmed it right before you disappeared.” Dad shrugged. “I’m not saying I understand why you like guys, but I’ve talked to some people and they helped me realize it might not be a choice for you. This doesn’t change who you are. You’re still my son, Christopher, and you’re still the best damn driver on the circuit.”

With a sad smile, his dad held out a hand. “I’ll call you in a day or two. It’ll be easier for me to get a hold of you when I can leave the house.”

“Thanks, Dad.” CJ shook Dad’s hand. He wanted to hug his father, but his family had never been big on expressing their emotions openly, which is why his mom’s screaming meltdown had caught him by surprise.

“Take care, Christopher.”

CJ slid behind the wheel and started the car. He rested his forehead on the steering wheel and closed his eyes to keep the tears at bay. Sure, he and his parents had never been close, but he was their child. Shouldn’t that connection count for something to Mom? His cheek stung from her slaps but the pain went deeper than his skin.

Lifting his head, he stared at the house he grew up in. It hadn’t been a bad childhood. There had been good times. He glanced at the barn behind the house. He’d spent a lot of time out there with Dad, fixing up the old beater he’d bought as his first car. He’d had his first drink and first cigarette down at the little creek running through his parents’ property. And he could almost smell the cherry pie his mother made him every year for his birthday.

How did being gay change him from the boy they knew? For him there was no difference. He looked in the mirror and the same dark brown hair and blue eyes he’d seen every day of his life reflected back at him. He hadn’t grown horns or a tail and the word “gay” hadn’t appeared on his forehead in flames. Nothing had changed, but for his mother, the world had exploded. In the less emotional part of his brain he accepted her reaction. He did blurt it out without any sort of lead-in.

His breath caught and he swallowed the sob fighting to get out. He wouldn’t cry, not here. At some point, the loss would hit him, but he wouldn’t give his mother the satisfaction of looking out her window and seeing her son cry. She could wait for an apology that she would never get from him. He would no longer be ashamed of who he was or lie anymore.

Putting the car in reverse, he backed down the driveway away from his childhood home. Maybe someday he’d come back, but it would never be as the boy who grew up here. What he was going to do now?

Later that night, CJ sat at the bar in town. He walked down from the hotel, planning on drowning his sorrows. He stared at the drink he’d been nursing since he’d gotten there. Before this whole thing exploded in his face, he would have had six beers by then and would be well on his way to being drunk.

For some reason, he didn’t feel like drinking. What the hell was he going to do? He’d never dreamed it would be his mother who turned on him.

His father was a solid blue-collar man. He enjoyed a beer after dinner and watching sports. He never said a bad word against anyone, so CJ wasn’t surprised his dad kept a door open for him to come home at some point, but he wouldn’t take advantage of his father’s willingness. Who knew? His mother might still come around.

“In NASCAR news today, Morik Racing fired CJ Lamont as their number one driver yesterday. They claim it has nothing to do with the startling revelation by Lamont’s ex-wife about his homosexuality. Several months ago, Lamont was pulled over and charged with a D.U.I. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to community service. Morik Racing and NASCAR suspended Lamont for three races with the stipulation that he attend four AA meetings. Morik Racing revealed that Lamont missed one of the AA meetings, giving them the opportunity to fire him.”

“Fuckers,” CJ muttered. He attended every damn AA meeting they told him to and he had proof they were lying.

“Lamont wasn’t available for comment.” The announcer looked at his fellow co-anchor. “It does sound like a flimsy and convenient excuse to get rid of someone they might find embarrassing. This is going to hurt Morik Racing. Their other drivers don’t have half the talent Lamont did.”

“Thanks for that.” He saluted the TV. Nice to hear someone talk about his driving ability and not his sexual preferences.

“Chris? Chris Lamont?” A voice rose above the din.

He turned to see a square-built man push his way through the crowd. Squinting, he tried to place the face. “Mike O’Hern?”

A bright smile burst over the man’s face. His nose was slightly crooked like he’d taken a punch and didn’t get it set right.

“Yeah. Man, it’s great to see you.” Mike slapped his shoulder, almost knocking him off his stool.

“It’s been a long time. Didn’t you say you’d only be back when they buried you here?”

Mike chuckled. “I was an idiot. Headed to Detroit to a boxing club up there, ready to prove I was the next great fighter.”

“How’d you do?” He gestured to the stool next to him.

Mike sat down and signaled to the bartender. “Won some and lost more, but found out I’m a better trainer than fighter. I paid off some debts and opened my own club. What’s your poison?”

“I’ll just have a soda.”

“Not drinking your sorrows away? I’ll take a Bud.”

He shook his head. “I’ve tried that and it almost got me in more trouble than my original problem did.”

“Gotcha. When I was younger, I could drink until I passed out and it never affected my boxing. Nowadays, I drink too much, I can barely function the next day.” Mike took a swig from his glass.

“What are you doing back here?” CJ accepted his soda with a nod.

Mike’s family had lived next door to CJ. There had been whispered conversations between his parents about Mike’s dad and abuse. Mike had been a rough kid, living hard and fast. He was seven years older than CJ and had been CJ’s hero when he caused all sorts of hell before he left town.

Mike didn’t seem to like most people, but for some reason, the older boy tolerated CJ following him around.

“Set up my own training center just down the road. Got some big clients, but it also gives the town kids something to do besides get in trouble.” Mike swallowed half his beer. Setting the bottle down, he looked at CJ square in the eye. “Is it true?”

As much as he wanted to act like he didn’t know what Mike was talking about, he couldn’t. Hell, he’d done the hardest part by telling his parents. Didn’t really matter what anyone else thought.

“Yes, it is.” He pushed his glass back and started to stand. “Are you going to beat my faggot ass now?”

“You do have a bit of a chip on your shoulder.” Mike shook his head. “Can’t say I blame you. Your father called me a little while ago. Your mom’s a heartless bitch for tossing you out like that.”

He slumped back on the stool. “No, she’s not. I didn’t help by blurting it out like that. She had a complete meltdown.”

“I know. Your dad said you were going to stay in town and asked if I could keep an eye on you.”

“Dad asked you that?” He was surprised and touched.

“Yeah. He’s done some work around the center for me. Your friend, Chick, called him a couple days after the interview came out and told him you admitted it. It hit your dad hard at first. He didn’t understand how it could have happened.”

CJ snorted. “Nothing happened to cause me to be this way.”

“I explained that to him. Then I introduced him to two of my boxers. One’s a light middle-weight and the other’s a super heavy-weight.”

“They both gay?”

“No. One’s gay. The other’s bi. Rafe says he’s an equal opportunity lover. Ready to fuck anyone who wants him.” Mike grinned. “Both are all man and two of the toughest SOBs I’ve ever met. Talking to them helped your dad realize that being gay doesn’t change who you are.”

“Who am I?” CJ rested his chin on his hand and looked at Mike. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. Now that I’m not driving, what can I do?”

“You have money, right?”

“Sure. Except for paying off my parents’ house and buying my own, I didn’t spend most of what I made.”

“What about alimony? You sending any to Rachel?”

“Hell, she wasted eight years of her life with me. I owe her something. The deal is I pay her alimony every month until she remarries. Made sense to me and she agreed to it.”

“She’s lucky you’re a forgiving guy. I’d have had my lawyer on the phone the minute I read the newspaper and I wouldn’t be paying her jack shit,” Mike growled.

CJ’s phone rang. Tugging out of his pocket, he checked the caller ID and saw it was Garrett.

“Hey, movie star,” he teased as he answered.

“How are you, pretty boy?”

Garrett’s voice was low and rough, making CJ’s cock sit up and take notice. He shifted, wishing he was in his hotel room and not a bar.

“Had better days,” he admitted.

“Things didn’t go well with Mom and Dad, huh?” A hint of sympathy tinged Garrett’s words.

“Things were fine with Dad. Mom had a breakdown and freaked on me. Tossed me out of the house.”

Someone shouted behind him.

“Are you at a bar?”

“I’ve had a shitty day. I thought I’d come and drown my sorrows.” He grimaced as more shouts filled the air around him.

“I guess you have the right.” Garrett didn’t sound convinced.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t do it. Had one drink and decided making myself sick just wasn’t worth it.”

“Fuck, man. I think there’s going to be a fight. We need to get out of here.” Mike grabbed his elbow and started pulling him toward the door.

“Shit.” He ducked as a bottle whizzed past his head. “Garrett, I’ll call you back as soon as we’re out of the war zone.”

“Sure thing, hot shot. Be careful.”

CJ hung up and tucked his phone in his pocket. He and Mike hit the door as all hell broke loose inside. They stood, listening to the shouts for a few minutes. His friend turned to him.

“Let’s check you out of the hotel. You can come and stay with me for a few days.” Mike led the way to a late-model Ford pick-up.

“Thanks.” He climbed in.

Thirty minutes later, they were on their way out of town and Garrett came to CJ’s mind. He glanced at Mike and thought better of asking.

“What do you want to ask, Chris?” Mike winked. “I might even answer it.”

It was almost as hard as asking his dad about sex.

“Would you be comfortable with me having a friend come and stay for a few days?”

“I assume this friend would be male,” Mike commented, steering the truck down a long driveway.

“Yes.” His face got hot.

“And he’d be sleeping in your bed?”

“God, I hope so,” he muttered.

A bark of laughter told him Mike had heard him.

“It’s cool with me. I’ve got an apartment in the garage you can use.”

They pulled up in front of a two story Victorian. A blue tick hound bounded up to them as they stepped from the truck. CJ slung his bag over his shoulder and followed Mike in.

The TV blared from the living room where two men sat watching a fight.

“See, Victor. Right there. You dropped your shoulder. Louis knew what you were going to throw. That’s how he tagged you.”

A small wiry Hispanic man pointed to the screen while looking at a tall blond man.

“You gonna help me get rid of that, Rafe?” Victor’s Russian accent was thick, but he spoke good English.

“Sure, man. I’m not going to let you hit me, but we’ll get you up to speed for your next fight.” Rafe spotted Mike and CJ. “Hey, boss, you picking up strays?”

“Just one. Chris Lamont, meet Rafe Sanchez and Victor Kricinov. Chris is an old friend.”

“Cool.” Rafe came over to shake CJ’s hand.

Victor nodded from where he sat in front of the TV.

“He’s staying for a couple of days. I’m letting him use the apartment in the garage.” Mike motioned to the fight. “Watch that match again, Victor, and I want you to tell me tomorrow what you did wrong.”

“Yes, boss,” Victor grunted.

Rafe grinned at them and flopped down beside the big guy, snuggling close.

“So, they a couple?” CJ asked with a tilt of his head back to the living room.

“They mess around when neither has anything serious going on.”

Mike made his way out the back of the house where two large buildings stood. His friend pointed to the one closest to the house.

“That’s the gym and training center. You should work out with us tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. Not like I have anything else to do.”

Mike unlocked the side door to the other building and CJ’s jaw dropped when light flooded the inside.

“This is what I do when I’m not training fighters.”

The building was a state-of-the-art garage. Four cars in various state of repair or restoration sat in bays. Computers lined one wall along with gleaming tools. CJ had seen garages like this on the circuit. Race cars were finely tuned machines and the mechanics needed top equipment to keep them running.

“You’re a mechanic?” He grinned, knowing Mike was far more than a simple mechanic.

Mike chuckled. “We repair classic cars and do custom work. I’ll show you around tomorrow.”

CJ caught the key Mike threw at him.

“Apartment’s at the back of the garage. Top of the stairs there.” Mike pointed to a flight of stairs at the far end of the building. “My car crew gets in around seven, so they’ll probably wake you up.”

CJ shrugged. “Fine with me. I’ll come work out with you tomorrow morning then.”

“Cool. See you in the morning. I’ll set the alarm when I shut off the lights.”

“Thanks, Mike. I appreciate this.”

CJ opened the apartment just as the garage went dark. He locked the door behind him and clicked on the lights. It looked like a simple one-bedroom apartment. He tossed his bag on the bed and went to sit on the couch, staring at the oak tree outside the window.

He needed to call Garrett, but would he be willing to come and stay with him? He didn’t want to interrupt the man’s visit with his family.

Pulling out his phone, he dialed Garrett’s number.

“You okay, CJ?” Garrett sounded worried.

“Yeah. I met an old friend and he offered me a place to crash for a while.” He closed his eyes and blurted, “Would you like to come down for a couple days?”

The silence on the other end of the connection unnerved him.

“Never mind. You want to stay at your parents’. I understand. Forget I asked.” He hung up.

Covering his face with his hands, he shook his head. Stupid move, Lamont. Garrett was being friendly. He wasn’t interested in starting a relationship with you.

His phone rang and CJ was tempted to ignore it. It had to be Garrett calling back.

“Get a grip,” he muttered. “You’re acting like a kid with his first crush.”

The phone went quiet. Damn. Before he could worry, the ringing started again.

“Hello,” he mumbled.

“Why did you hang up on me?”

Garrett didn’t sound angry.

“I panicked,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Come on, Garrett. We met seven days ago after sharing one kiss a year ago. You don’t know anything about me except that I’m screwed up. Suddenly, I’m calling and asking you to come and stay with me.” He sighed. “You look forward to visiting your family. I don’t have any right to ask.”

“I can visit my family whenever I want. That’s the beauty of what I do.” Garrett laughed. “Right now, they’re far more interested in Kasey and Gram. Maybe it’s time I let my brother have the limelight.”

“You mean you’ll come?” Why did Garrett’s words surprise him? Maybe because no one had ever done something like that for him before.

“Yeah. I will. First thing in the morning, I’ll check on flights and let you know when I’ll be in Memphis.” Garrett’s voice softened. “I’m glad you asked, CJ.”

“So am I.” Noises poured over the phone. “I better let you go. I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

“Great. Sleep well.”

“You too.” He hung up.

His hands shook. He’d just asked a man to come and stay with the knowledge in the back of his mind that at some point they’d be having sex. Not just any man either. He’d asked the hottest stud in America.

God, he went all out when he wanted his cherry popped. He couldn’t pick some anonymous guy at a bar. Hell no. His first lover was going to be Garrett Johnson, the guy named one of People’s 50 Most Beautiful three fucking years in a row.

CJ had to stop thinking about it or he would start hyperventilating. Getting up, he headed to the bathroom. He’d take a shower. Maybe that would relax him so he could get some sleep.

Chapter Thirteen

Garrett stepped through security, searching the crowd from behind his sunglasses. He’d been lucky to get a late afternoon flight to Memphis. He spotted CJ standing to the right. The shorter man smiled and his pulse jumped. It was a feeling he was familiar with. In the beginning of his relationship with Rich, his heart skipped a beat every time his gaze landed on him.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to feel that with CJ, but he was willing to see where it was taking them.

“Hey, man.” CJ grinned.

They hugged quickly; two male friends saying hello.

“I have one bag to grab before we can head out.” He studied CJ’s face, which was hidden behind sunglasses as well.

“Good. Mike’ll have dinner waiting for us when we get to his place.” CJ bumped their hips together as they made their way to the escalator. “How’d your parents react to you leaving early?”

“Mom and Dad were fine. I told them I’d come home for Christmas.” Garrett took a chance. “Maybe you could go back with me. They’d love to see you again.”

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go,” CJ muttered.

“If you don’t want to go with me, you can always stay at my place in L.A.” Garrett grabbed his bag after waiting for a few minutes. “Lead on.”

He followed CJ out of the terminal to the parking lot. His mouth fell open when CJ stopped beside a black nineteen-seventy-eight Stingray Corvette.

“Nice car.”

“Mike rebuilt it from the engine out. When I told him I was coming to pick you up, he lent it to me.” CJ held up the keys. “Would you like to drive it?”

“Sure, but maybe we should wait until I meet your friend before I start driving his cars around.” Garrett itched to wrap his hands around the steering wheel of the car. He wasn’t a grease monkey, but he could appreciate a classic when he saw one.

“Okay. I’m sure Mike will let you drive it. He’s got some other very cool cars back at his place. You should think about bringing your dad down here to check them out. He’d be in heaven.”

CJ opened the passenger door for Garrett and threw his bag in the trunk. They shared a smile at the powerful growl from the engine as CJ turned the key over.

Garrett waited until they got on the highway before he asked about Mike. “Tell me about your friend.”

CJ laughed and Garrett enjoyed how relaxed CJ looked behind the wheel.

“I used to idolize Mike. He lived next door to my parents until he was sixteen and ran away.” CJ shook his head. “I think I always knew his dad beat him, but as a kid, there wasn’t anything I could do to help him.”

“I’ve been there with friends of mine. Even as an adult, there are times when you can’t do anything except hold them while they cry.”

“True.” CJ nodded and continued. “After my mom broke down yesterday and threw me out of the house, I went to find a bar to drown my sorrows. Mike showed up while I was nursing my first drink. Seems my dad called him and asked him to go look for me.”

“Is your dad okay about the gay thing?” He reached over and rested his hand on CJ’s knee.

“I’m not sure if he’s okay with it. He’s just had longer to adjust. My mom thought it was all a lie. She believed Rachel was being bitter or something.” CJ grasped Garrett’s hand.

“How did your dad know they were true?”

“I talked to one person the day the interview came out. Chick was my best friend and crew chief. I came right out and told him Rachel was telling the truth. In hindsight, it wasn’t the best thing to do. Chick called my dad and probably Morik. They might have announced they fired me last night, but more than likely I lost my ride the minute I admitted to Chick I was gay.”

“They fired you because of what your crew chief told them? That can’t be fair.”

“If that was the reason they had given, I’m sure there’d be pickets and protests outside Morik Racing headquarters.” CJ shrugged. “They said I failed to attend one of the four mandatory AA meetings I’d been sentenced to after my DUI arrest.”

Garrett shot CJ a quick glance. “DUI?”

“Remember, I told you I got arrested a couple months after Rachel and I divorced. NASCAR suspended me three races on the condition that I attend four AA meetings.”

“You missed one?”

“Fuck no. I knew my ass was on the line, so I went to every single one of those fuckers. I even have proof.”

“Why would they lie like that?”

“I left my house in Charlotte and disappeared. They don’t think I’m going to stand up to them and fight them on this.” A snarl curled CJ’s lip. “They’re wrong. I’ve got nothing left to lose and my reputation might be the only thing I can get back.”

“I’ve got a good lawyer.”

“Thanks.” CJ squeezed his hand.

“Your dad told Mike to find you?” He’d shelve the other discussion for a while.

“I guess he’d run into Mike at some point and told him about me. Mike’s got a training center just outside town.” CJ turned the blinker on and took the exit.

“What’s he training?”

“Boxers. Got a couple guys staying with him now.”

“Really? Do you think he’d give me some pointers? One of my upcoming roles is about a boxer.”

“I’m sure Mike wouldn’t mind. That’s his place up ahead.”

CJ let go of Garrett’s hand to point at the buildings they were headed toward. The house was a simple two-story Victorian, painted white with a wrap-around porch. The two larger buildings looked like simple pole barns, but looks were deceiving and there probably wouldn’t be anything simple inside.

Three men stepped onto the porch as CJ brought the car to a halt. Exiting the car, Garrett studied them. The older man in front was built like a brick house. Short, wide and all muscle. He had to be Mike. A lean Hispanic kid and an enormous Slavic man stood behind him.

He took off his cap, shoved his sunglasses to the top of his head and nodded at the trio. A look of recognition crossed the kid’s face and Garrett watched as he whispered something to the others.

Mike’s face split into a bright smile. “Shit, Lamont. When you come out of the closet, you fucking come out. Couldn’t pick a school teacher or anyone like that.”

“No. You have to pick one of the most talked about stars in recent history.” The young man dashed down the steps to offer Garrett his hand. “I’m Rafe.”

“Buenos días, Rafe. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Garrett Johnson.” He shook Rafe’s hand.

“Hell, I know who you are. Who wouldn’t? I love your movies, man.”

Rafe didn’t let go of his hand as he stared up at Garrett, a flirtatious smile on his lean face. Garrett looked over to see CJ frown. Was he upset because Rafe was still holding his hand? Garrett eased his hand away from the boxer and smiled at the other men.

“I’m Mike and this is Victor. He and Rafe train here.” Mike shook his hand.

Victor grunted, but didn’t offer a hand. The large Russian didn’t seem happy about Rafe’s actions either.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“No problem. We’ve got the room. I held dinner until you got here.” Mike gestured back to the house.

Dinner was interesting. Rafe dominated the conversation, asking Garrett question after question. Garrett’s mother had raised him to be polite, so he answered each one. Glancing at CJ, he couldn’t tell how the man felt. The glare Victor gave him told him the Russian wasn’t thrilled at all.

Shit. I’m going to have to deal with a jealous boyfriend.

Getting up to grab more drinks, Mike smacked Rafe on the back of the head as he walked by.

“Hey, man, what was that for?” Rafe glared at him.

“You talk too much, kid. He’s not here to see you.”

Rafe frowned. “Just being friendly.”

“You two go watch some tapes. Let Victor critique your form.” Mike pointed at the front room.

Rafe grumbled, but he stood and left with Victor. Mike sighed.

“Kid can be a pain sometimes. He’s got talent though. How about you two helping me clear off the table and then you can show the movie star here where he’s sleeping?”

Garrett kept silent while they carried the dishes into the kitchen. Afterward, he followed CJ out of the back of the house toward one of the two pole barns on the property.

“I’m sorry.”

CJ gave him a puzzled look. “For what?”

“For dinner and Rafe asking me all those questions.”

CJ shrugged. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure a lot of people get star-struck around you. After he’s fought a few times, he’ll probably get used to meeting stars like you.”

“Victor wasn’t impressed.” He chuckled.

“You’re right.” CJ opened a side door and gestured for him to walk ahead. “Maybe he’s jealous.”

“I saw Victor fight an undercard match in Vegas last year. He’s got talent,” Garrett commented as he stared around at the shiny cars, engines and various other auto parts. He grinned at CJ. “I bet you feel like you’ve died and gone to heaven.”

CJ ran hand over the bright chrome fender of one car. “It’s a bit like a candy store to a sweet tooth. Mike gave me the apartment in the back.”

Walking behind CJ, Garrett stared at his jean-covered ass flexing. He wanted that ass naked. As they climbed the stairs, he could feel CJ’s tension mount. Was CJ ready for what Garrett wanted to do to him?

CJ opened the door and Garrett noticed how his hand shook. He waited until they were inside with the door shut before he dropped his bag and gripped CJ’s shoulders. He forced the dark-haired man to look at him.

“We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready. I came out here because I wanted to see you.”

The skeptical quirk of CJ’s eyebrow made Garrett laugh.

“I’m not saying I didn’t hope we could get to know each other on a more personal level, but not if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

Sighing, CJ lifted his trembling hands and cradled Garrett’s face. His blue eyes stared into Garrett’s. “I’m nervous. Not uncomfortable. This is my first time.”

“First time? Are you saying…” Garrett’s mouth dropped open.

“I’ve kissed guys before. Jerked them off and been given blow jobs, but I’ve never fucked a guy or been fucked by one.” A blush colored CJ’s cheeks. “I’m a virgin.”

“Shit.”

 

CJ’s heart dropped when Garrett cursed. Somehow he never imagined his virginity would be a problem for the actor. He stepped back, running into the door. His hand fumbled for the door knob.

“Sorry. I didn’t know it made a difference,” he mumbled.

“Yes, it makes a difference.” Garrett placed his hands on the door to either side of CJ’s head, not allowing him to open it.

“Why?” he whispered.

Garrett brushed a kiss over his lips and moved away a few inches so their breath mingled.

“I want it to be perfect for you.” Garrett dragged a thumb over CJ’s bottom lip. “If I’m your first, it has to be memorable.”

CJ laughed harshly. “It’s not memorable enough that my first lover is going to be Garrett Johnson?”

Something flashed in the actor’s eyes. Gone too quickly for CJ to figure out what it was.

“It could be a drawing point for the next guy you fuck.” Garrett’s words were clipped.

CJ sensed anger flaring in Garrett and he frowned.

“I’m not in the market for a new lover when I haven’t even had an old lover yet.” He shook his head. “I’d never kiss and talk, Garrett. As far as anyone else is concerned, I’m as celibate as a priest.”

Garrett closed his eyes. “Sorry.”

“Did Rich use being your partner as a way to get guys?”

At Garrett’s nod, CJ cupped the actor’s face and rose up to kiss him. When Garrett’s grass green eyes met his, he smiled.

“We really don’t know each other that well, but please believe me when I say I’d never do that. I was faithful to my wife. I don’t cheat or run around.”

A small grin quirked Garrett’s lips. “Whatever we have here, it’s just you and me. No one else until it ends.”

Deep inside of CJ’s heart, he hoped it wouldn’t end. There was something about Garrett that made him happy in a way Rachel or any of his other friends never could.

“Deal.”

Garrett took CJ’s mouth in a demanding kiss. He opened to Garrett, giving him everything he wanted.

Chapter Fourteen

Garrett thrust his tongue in, stroking it along the roof of CJ’s mouth. He wanted to take him right there up against the door, but it wouldn’t be very romantic for the man’s first time. He nibbled along his bottom lip and CJ moaned.

Easing back an inch or so, Garrett smiled. “Where’s the bedroom?”

Those stunned blue eyes blinked at him once, twice before the desire in them faded enough for CJ to gesture toward the back of the apartment.

He grabbed CJ and dragged him down the hallway, making sure he picked up his bag on the way. They made it into the bedroom without running into the walls or anything, which was a major feat considering neither of them could stop kissing the other. Garrett set his bag down on a chair in the corner of the room. Unzipping it, he glanced over his shoulder at CJ.

“Get naked and climb on the bed.”

CJ hesitated. Was he going to protest the order? With a shrug, he did what Garrett told him.

“Got it.” Garrett held up the lube and a couple condoms in triumph.

“Pretty sure of yourself, weren’t you?” CJ’s laugh was a little shaky as nerves started to set in again.

“Not necessarily sure of myself. Just hopeful.” He winked. “Your calling me meant you were willing to go a little further and I’d get your fine ass into bed by the time I left Tennessee.”

A blush colored CJ’s cheeks and traveled down his naked chest. His hands hovered over the button on his jeans. Garrett did the job for him. He was impatient to see all of the man’s body. CJ sucked in his stomach, giving Garrett room to slide his hand in the waistband and unfasten his pants. Kneeling, he peeled the fabric down over CJ’s hips, pushing the man’s underwear with it. He hummed in appreciation when CJ’s cock sprang free and almost slapped him in the chin.

“Oh this is pretty,” he murmured, brushing his lips over the swollen head of CJ’s prick.

“Ah,” CJ gasped.

“Let’s get these off and you on the bed.”

He finished stripping CJ efficiently, eager for a more thorough tasting of his lover. Flinging the jeans over his shoulder, he pushed the shorter man back toward the bed.

“Sit.”

CJ sat rather ungracefully, his thighs spread so Garrett could kneel between them. Garrett licked from the nest of dark curls at the base of CJ’s shaft to the crown, savoring the musky taste of his lover’s skin. He swiped his tongue through the clear salty liquid beading at the slit. He braced his hands on CJ’s thighs, opened wide and swallowed him down to the root.

“Fuck,” CJ shouted, hips surging off the mattress.

The soft head of his prick hit the back of Garrett’s throat and he thanked God for his non-existent gag reflex. He applied more suction as CJ settled back down and the shaft in his mouth slid out. Wrapping his hand around the hot flesh, he pumped up and down in counter movement to his mouth. He pressed the tip of his tongue to the bundle of nerves under the crown and CJ shuddered.

Taking his other hand off CJ’s leg, Garrett cupped the other man’s lightly furred balls and gave them a gentle squeeze. He scraped a nail over the soft skin between CJ’s balls and his hole. CJ jerked and Garrett didn’t stop him from moving.

“Garrett, I…” CJ sounded distracted.

Sticking two fingers in his mouth, Garrett got the digits nice and wet before sliding them between CJ’s ass cheeks. He pressed them against the puckered opening of CJ’s ass, breeching the virgin hole by a few inches.

CJ tensed and Garrett didn’t push any further. He kept working his cock, letting the man get used to having his ass penetrated. When CJ tilted his hips slightly, allowing Garrett’s fingers to slide farther in, he knew the man was ready for more.

He let CJ’s cock slip out of his mouth and looked up. His lover stared down at him with stunned eyes.

“Fuck yourself on my fingers.”

CJ bit his lip, unsure.

Garrett grinned. “Trust me, you’ll love it.”

Leaning back on his hands, CJ started rocking, taking Garrett’s fingers deeper in and thrusting into Garrett’s mouth on the way up. He kept his throat relaxed, taking as much as CJ could give him. He worked his fingers open, stretching the ring of muscle. He wanted CJ relaxed enough to take him without a problem because he planned on fucking the man’s ass as soon as CJ finished coming down his throat.

He hummed, knowing the vibrations would drive CJ crazy. His lover’s smooth rhythm dissolved. Groans and whimpers filled the air above Garrett’s head.

A tap to his head. “Garrett, I’m gonna…soon.”

Nodding, he jammed his fingers into CJ’s channel, nailing his gland with his knuckles. CJ shouted as hot liquid flooded Garrett’s mouth. He swallowed as fast as he could, not wanting to miss a drop of the salty bitterness. He sucked until CJ stopped moving and flopped back to lay flat on the bed.

Garrett eased his fingers out of CJ’s ass. He placed a kiss on the softening cock resting on CJ’s thigh.

“Slide up on the bed.” He tapped CJ’s hip, gesturing to the head of the bed. “Hands and knees.”

Wiping off his fingers and mouth, Garrett grabbed the lube and a condom. He rolled the rubber on his aching cock and slicked it up. He turned and lust hit him. CJ knelt on the mattress, ass presented so eagerly. Garrett grabbed a hold of his control. He wanted to plunge into CJ’s body, claiming the man with every part of his own body, but he didn’t want to take him roughly during his first time.

He braced his hand on the bed as he climbed up behind CJ. Reaching out, he spread those firm cheeks to reveal the pink rosette, now stretched and red. He slicked up three fingers this time and slipped them inside CJ’s hot passage. Two thrusts and he was open enough.

CJ moaned when Garrett removed his fingers and cried out with the first plunge of Garrett’s cock inside him.

When his balls hit the back of CJ’s thighs, Garrett stilled. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just give me a second.” CJ’s back flushed red and his shoulders were tense as he adjusted to the invasion of his ass.

Now that he was buried deep inside, Garrett wasn’t sure he’d be able to wait much longer. He needed to move, to feel CJ’s ass gripping his cock like a vise. CJ released a breath and they both gasped as Garrett slid in a little farther.

“I have to move, love. Are you ready?”

CJ nodded, dropping down to rest his head on his arms. Garrett gripped CJ’s hips and started reaming the man’s ass. Each slam drove a grunt from CJ, but he never tried to pull away. He took everything Garrett wanted to give him and demanded more.

“Harder. I want to feel you tomorrow morning.”

Garrett thrust harder, the slap of flesh against flesh filling the room. CJ cried out as Garrett achieved the right angle and nailed his gland. Garrett clenched his teeth, trying to hit that spot with every push in. He reached around CJ’s hip and grasped his lover’s cock, determined to make CJ come again before he climaxed.

“God, Garrett, your hand…your cock,” CJ babbled.

“Good?”

He didn’t expect CJ to answer, considering he was moving back and forth between Garrett’s hand and shaft. The pre-come leaking from CJ’s cock eased the slip of Garrett’s hand. He tightened his fingers, bringing just a hint of pain to the pleasure.

CJ shouted and heat coated Garrett’s hand while CJ’s ass milked his orgasm from him. He plunged in and froze as he filled the condom with his come.

“Fuck,” he groaned, dropping his head to rest it on CJ’s back.

“Mmm…” CJ collapsed and didn’t move when Garrett pinned him to the mattress.

Garrett rolled over and headed to the bathroom, taking care of the condom and washing up. He snatched up a washcloth and got it wet. Settling on the bed next to CJ, he gently cleaned his lover off.

“I can do that,” CJ muttered, an uncomfortable expression on his face.

He leaned over and placed a kiss on the end of CJ’s nose. “I know you can, but I want to take care of you tonight. You’re going to be sore tomorrow.”

Scrubbing a hand over his face, CJ shifted and grimaced. “You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am. You need to remember that I’m always right.” He tossed the cloth at the door. He’d pick it up later. He lifted the covers and maneuvered both of them under before wrapping an arm around CJ’s waist. Pulling his lover close, he rested his chin on CJ’s dark curls. “Go to sleep. Nothing needs to be decided tonight.”

CJ sighed and relaxed. “Thank you,” he said, cuddling tight to Garrett.

“The pleasure was all mine, love. Next time you can do me.”

A soft snore greeted his announcement and he chuckled. He would have to make his generous offer later when CJ was awake. Closing his eyes, Garrett let himself drift off to sleep, happy in a way he hadn’t been in months.

 

*

 

When CJ woke up later that night, he was held tight in Garrett’s arms. Blinking, he snuggled closer to Garrett and ran his hands over the actor’s washboard abs. Garrett sighed, trailing fingers down CJ’s back. He shivered. His ass ached, but it was a good ache. For the first time in his entire life, he was pretty much right where he needed to be. It was time to start thinking about the future.

“I’m going to call James Kendall tomorrow. See if he’d be willing to take me on as a client. At least for a little while.”

Garrett propped his head on his fist and nodded. “Good idea. Kasey already let him know you might call. James grumbled about getting the reputation for being the gay athletes’ agent, but he’ll help you out. What about your old one?”

CJ snorted. “Brad broke our contract. I bet there’s an official notice of termination on my table in Charlotte.”

“Probably. You’ll have to go back there, you know?” Garrett’s other hand traced the curve of his hip.

He shivered. “I know, but not until I get a few things straightened out first. After my official statement, I’ll figure out what to do.”

He arched his back, pressing his hard-on against Garrett’s hip. It was Garrett’s turn to tremble.

“Don’t need to talk about it right at this moment.”

Garrett took his mouth in a deep kiss and CJ’s mind went blank. He let Garrett suck on his tongue and nibble on his bottom lip. Burying his fingers in Garrett’s soft hair, he pushed the bigger man onto his back, taking control of the kiss. He’d let Garrett take the lead for their lovemaking earlier because he didn’t really know what to expect or do. Now that he had a taste of what sex with Garrett was like, he wanted more.

Garrett fell back, letting CJ take or give whatever he wanted. He wrapped his hands around the headboard, stretching out under CJ’s lust-filled gaze. “I’m all yours, baby. Anything you want.”

The possibilities boggled his mind. Permission to touch and taste Garrett’s hard golden body turned CJ on so much his cock ached. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He jumped when Garrett cupped his cheek and he opened his eyes to find him smiling at him.

“Take a breath and calm down. We have all the time in the world to get to know each other.”

Garrett’s soft words eased him. Maybe Garrett understood CJ’s subconscious viewing the whole experience as just some X-rated fantasy his mind made up. Any moment now, CJ worried he’d wake up and be alone like he had been for over a year. Silly really, since the ache in his own ass told him it wasn’t a dream.

He reached out, placing a finger on Garrett’s mouth. Those plump lips sucked him in. Garrett’s tongue swirled around, stroking and licking, doing everything to remind CJ what Garrett had done while sucking his cock. Sucking cock? He dropped his gaze down to Garrett’s groin.

Garrett’s cock was shorter than his, but slightly thicker. It was swollen, throbbing and leaking pre-come. Licking his lips, he slid down the bed, pushing at Garrett’s thighs to make the space between them wider. He pulled his finger out of Garrett’s mouth to trace the vein along the underside of Garrett’s shaft.

“Oh,” Garrett whimpered, running a hand over CJ’s shoulder. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, CJ.”

He met Garrett’s gaze and grinned. “I want to suck you.”

Garrett started to say something. CJ pressed a finger against his lips and shook his head.

“Hush.”

He waited until Garrett nodded before he leaned down to bury his nose in the small nest of curls around the base of Garrett’s cock. Jerking slightly, Garrett gave CJ’s hair a little tug. He smiled, but didn’t stop his investigation. Garrett’s skin was smooth and warm. He licked a small line over the curve of his hip.

Garrett laughed and CJ filed the ticklish spot away in his mind. He clasped a hand around Garrett’s prick, squeezing firmly, but not too hard. He wasn’t sure how tight he liked it to be. Garrett surrounded CJ’s hand and showed him exactly how he liked it.

Stroking up and down, he encircled the head of Garrett’s cock with his lips, sucking just the crown in. He wouldn’t be able to take all of it in, but he would open up and work as much as he could of the flesh. CJ eased the tip of his tongue into the slit and scooped up some of the clear liquid.

He could become addicted to Garrett’s unique flavor. He took more of him in, loving the feel of the heavy flesh in his mouth. He kept pumping his hand, making up for not being able to deep-throat Garrett yet.

“Shit,” Garrett growled, shoving his cock down CJ’s throat.

His gag reflex kicked in and he pinned Garrett’s hips to the bed, pulling away and breathing deep for a moment. Garrett patted his head in apology.

“It’s okay. It’ll take some time for me to be able to take you in.” He winked. “I think I’d like the practice though.”

Garrett chuckled and gestured back to his saliva covered cock. “Don’t let me stop you from perfecting your technique.”

“Thank you for being willing to be the guinea pig.” He squeezed Garrett’s prick hard enough to make the man gasp.

“Hey now, don’t be mean.” Garrett pouted. “I just wanted to expand your experience. If you don’t want to, I’ll leave.” He started to climb out of bed.

CJ stopped Garrett with a laugh. “Quit it.”

Flopping back, Garrett grinned and winked as CJ settled down on his stomach. It was time to get serious. He brought Garrett’s cock back to his mouth and swallowed it down as far as he could. Garrett didn’t move, but his moans and pleas filled the bedroom.

“Please,” Garrett begged.

He moved up and down, sucking harder as he pulled up. He made sure his hand matched the rhythm and worked the part of Garrett’s cock he couldn’t fit in his mouth. CJ cupped Garrett’s balls in his free hand, rolling them around and tugging on them. Garrett fisted his hands in the sheets to keep from grabbing him and shoving his shaft deep into CJ’s throat.

“CJ.” Garrett’s voice held a warning.

The man was going to come and CJ had the choice to swallow it or to let his lover come all over his hand. There wasn’t any debate. He wanted to learn and absorb the essence of everything that was Garrett. Nodding his head, he reached around and slid a finger into Garrett’s ass.

“Fuck,” Garrett cried out.

Hot liquid spurt into his mouth, surprising him a little. He allowed it to pool in his mouth before swallowing it. It was bitter and salty, coating his tongue with a thick creamy layer. CJ wasn’t sure how long it was before Garrett stopped jerking and lay there, panting while stroking CJ’s head with trembling hands.

He licked Garrett’s dick clean like his lover had done for him. He let the softening shaft slide from his mouth and moved up to kiss him, sharing Garrett’s taste with him. CJ rubbed his aching cock on Garrett’s hip.

Garrett eased an inch or so away and grinned. “You want to fuck me, baby?”

CJ couldn’t speak, but he nodded eagerly.

“Find the lube and a condom.”

He glanced around, spotting both on the nightstand next to the bed. Reaching out, he grabbed them. Garrett took the lube.

“I’ll get myself ready. You put the condom on.”

Ripping open the package, he rolled the rubber on without looking. His gaze was drawn to Garrett, who squirted slick on his fingers and tossed the bottle on the floor. One knee was drawn up and back, revealing Garrett’s hole. He sucked in his breath when Garrett eased a finger deep inside. They both moaned.

Garrett slid his finger out and pushed two back in. CJ crawled closer, resting his hand on Garrett’s hip. He wanted to touch the stretched ring of muscles. He looked up, meeting Garrett’s passion-glazed eyes.

Garrett smiled. “You can touch. Please.”

He scooped up some of the lube with the tip of his thumb. Placing his thumb next to Garrett’s, he breeched Garrett’s ass at the same time Garrett took his two out. They established an alternating rhythm until Garrett’s cock was hard and leaking pre-come again.

“Ready, CJ. Fuck me now.”

“Wait. I need lube.” He scrambled, digging around for the tube on the floor. His hand closed around the slick. Popping open the top, he put some in his hand and threw the bottle back down. He covered the rubber with the cool liquid.

Garrett wrapped his hands behind his knees, pulling both legs up and back. CJ settled close, positioned his cock at Garrett’s opening and pushed in. Biting his lip, he thrust in slowly, not wanting to hurt Garrett.

“Fuck, feels good,” Garrett groaned, lifting his hips and leaning his head back.

Words failed CJ on how good sinking into Garrett felt. His head swam with the heat and tightness enveloping his cock. When he was buried as deep as he could get, he froze.

“All right?” Garrett’s green eyes held concern and understanding.

“Yeah. It’s just…”

“A little overwhelming, huh?” Garrett clenched his ass.

CJ’s mind turned to mush. There was nothing he could do except what his body demanded and that was to move. He clasped Garrett’s hips and started reaming his ass.

“Oh yes. Harder. Right there.”

Garrett’s babbling helped CJ know he was doing it right. Tingling built at the base of his spine and his balls drew tight. He wanted to make sure Garrett was going to go over with him. He pried one hand off Garrett’s hip and gripped the man’s prick. CJ worked Garrett with hand and cock.

“Shit, CJ…gonna come.”

“Come with me, baby.” He slammed in, hitting the right spot.

Garrett cried out, warm liquid spilling over CJ’s hand. When Garrett’s inner channel tightened almost to the point of pain around CJ’s cock, CJ’s climax swamped him. He grunted, filling the condom with each spasm of Garrett’s ass.

The last drops of his come spurted from him and he collapsed on top of Garrett, holding him close while their breathing evened out. When he had control over his muscles again, he eased out of Garrett’s ass and went into the bathroom to take care of the condom. Grabbing a washcloth, he took it back and cleaned Garrett off.

He returned the cloth to the other room. Climbing back in bed, he snuggled close to Garrett, who patted his arm sleepily.

“Was it good for you,” Garrett asked softly.

“Yes. Thank you.” He nuzzled Garrett’s jaw.

“You’re welcome. Sleep. We’ll figure things out tomorrow.”

He shifted and shut his eyes, allowing his body to get the rest it craved.

Chapter Fifteen

CJ heard the doors of the garage go up downstairs while he lay in bed watching Garrett sleep. He sighed. After what was arguably the best night of his life, CJ’s mind was clear. There wasn’t any doubt about what he had to do to get his life on track again. No more running. He’d stand up in front of the world and tell the truth.

Hell, if he couldn’t race, Mike would hire him as mechanic.

“It’s too early to be thinking so hard,” Garrett murmured, smiling up at CJ without opening his eyes.

“How did you know I was thinking?” He ran his thumb over Garrett’s stubble-roughened cheek.

“Smelled the smoke.”

“Smart ass.” He dug his fingers into Garrett’s sides, making his lover howl with laughter.

They wrestled around the bed. Sometimes he was on top. Other times, Garrett would pin him to the mattress.

Suddenly he stopped, staring up at Garrett braced over him.

“I never knew.”

Garrett looked puzzled. “Never knew what?”

He reached out and stroked a finger over Garrett’s bottom lip. “It could be fun.”

“What could be fun?”

He waved a hand to encompass the bed and the room. “All of it. Being with you. Making love with you.”

Garrett’s smile held understanding. “You never gave it a thought because any encounter you’ve had with a guy has been in a bathroom or back alley. Nothing normal.” Garrett gave him a quick kiss. “Sex should be fun and enjoyable, CJ. If it’s not, something’s wrong.”

He hummed, allowing Garrett’s questing tongue entrance. CJ forgot about everything except Garrett.

The harsh ringing of his phone broke them apart. CJ shot a surprised glance at Garrett.

“Who has your number?” Garrett climbed out of bed and walked toward the bathroom, displaying his magnificent ass without embarrassment.

“My dad,” CJ muttered, distracted by all that tanned flesh.

The phone rang again.

“Fuck. My dad.” CJ dove for his jeans where he’d stuffed his phone after dinner.

“Hello?”

“Christopher?” His dad’s voice was hushed.

“Yeah, Dad. Did you sneak away to call me?” He bunched a pillow behind his back.

“Yes.” Dad laughed. “Your mom’s still upset.”

“Can’t blame her. I did drop the whole gay thing on you like a bomb.”

Garrett walked out of the bathroom and CJ watched him dress.

“True. I didn’t call to discuss her. Mike find you?”

“Yeah. Thanks for sending him out to look for me. I’m staying with him for a while.”

“Mike’s a good man. He’ll help you out.”

“He has so far.”

Garrett sat next to him to put on his shoes.

“Shitty thing Morik did to you, son.”

“I’ve been expecting something like it to happen since Rachel’s interview broke. Old Man Morik and his son never liked me. The only reason they kept me on was because I’m the best driver on their team.” He ran his hand over the curve of Garrett’s back. “This is the perfect reason to fire me.”

“You’re all right, Christopher?”

The concern in his father’s voice choked CJ up. “I’m doing well.”

Garrett glanced over at him. He shrugged, a little embarrassed at being emotional.

“Good. I had better get off the phone. Don’t want your mother finding out and chewing me out.”

CJ smiled. “I’ll talk to you later, Dad.”

“Talk to you soon.”

He ended the call and tossed his phone on the pile of his clothes. Rolling over on his back, he stared up at the ceiling. Garrett rested a hand on CJ’s stomach.

“You okay, baby?”

CJ met Garrett’s gaze. “Why is everyone asking me that? I’m not a complete basket case.”

Garrett raised an eyebrow and CJ amended his comment.

“Well, not anymore.”

“We ask because we care about you, CJ.”

“Do you?”

He cringed inside at the question. His entire world had been turned upside down, but that didn’t mean he should lean on Garrett. The actor wouldn’t be around all the time to help him out.

Garrett brushed a lock of CJ’s hair back off his forehead and smiled. “Maybe more than I should so early in our relationship. I’m sure the therapists would have a field day with us. We have more baggage than a family of four going to Disneyland.”

He chuckled. “You’re right about that.”

Knocking reached their ears. Garrett stood, heading toward the front of the apartment. CJ laid there for a second before he climbed out of bed and went to brush his teeth.

When he entered the living room, Victor and Garrett looked up from where they were sitting on the couch. The Russian nodded at him and stood. Garrett came over, brushing a kiss over his cheek.

“Victor’s going to take us to the training center. He’s offered to teach me how to box.” Garrett laughed. “No way am I going to be as good as he is, but I really want to know the basics for this upcoming role.”

CJ rolled his eyes. “Don’t hit him in the face, Victor. His agent might get upset if he comes back from vacation with a broken nose. Besides it’s his best feature.”

“Really? You seemed to find my ass fascinating last night.” Garrett winked at Victor.

The big blond snorted, but a hint of a smile appeared on the man’s face.

“Let’s go. We’ll work out and then while Victor’s giving you some pointers I’ll call Kendall about setting something up.”

They walked through the garage and the sounds of the mechanics working comforted CJ. Someone was using a grinder to smooth out the edges of a front panel. Another was raising a car on the hydraulic lift. The familiar smell of oil, grease and gas filled his nose. He was going to miss that. One of his favorite things about racing was being able to spend time in the garage working on the cars with his crew.

Victor led the way to one of the other buildings. Just like the garage, the training center was equipped with state-of-the-art workout equipment and boxing paraphernalia. Rafe was already there, running on a treadmill. The young boxer waved to them, but didn’t stop his workout.

“Rafe won’t bother you while you’re here,” Victor explained. “He takes his training seriously.”

“Thanks.”

For the next hour, CJ jogged and lifted. He enjoyed the burn of stretching his muscles. The pleasant ache in his ass reminded him of the loving he’d gotten from Garrett. He smiled at the trash talking going on between Garrett and Rafe as the two put gloves on to spar. When they climbed into the ring with Victor and Mike, it was time for him to go call Kasey’s agent.

“Hey, guys, I’m hitting the shower and making some phone calls.” He shook his head. “Remember what I said, Victor, don’t hurt his face.”

Garrett stuck his tongue out and the others laughed.

“We’ll see you at lunch, Chris.” Mike turned to Garrett. “Before you leave here, you’re at least going to know the fundamentals of boxing.”

CJ arrived back at the garage just as one of the mechanics was driving a car in. CJ’s jaw dropped.

“A beauty, isn’t she?” One of the other mechanics walked up to him.

“Is that?” He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Yep. A Bugatti Veyron. Some rock star owns it and has Mike do the tune-ups on it.”

The man parked the car and popped the hood. It was like seeing the Holy Grail of cars.

“I’m Tim, the head mechanic here. You’re CJ Lamont, aren’t you? Mike said you’d be staying here for a couple days. You want to look at her?”

He shook Tim’s hand. “God, yes. I didn’t think there were any of these in the States.”

“Well, they didn’t make a lot of them, so only those with money to burn could afford one.”

They stood, staring down at the engine.

“8.0 liter quad turbo with one-thousand-and-one brake horsepower. Fastest street legal engine in the world.” He reached out and stroked a finger over the shining chrome of the hood.

“It was until Shelby Supercars released their Ultimate Aero. It’s got a twin turbo charged V8. Clocked at 256 miles per hour.” Tim laughed. “Another grease monkey, I see. You want to help me tune her?”

He stepped back. “I’m not qualified to work on a car like that.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you don’t break anything.” Tim gestured toward some coveralls hanging on the wall over by one of the tool benches. “Put one of those on. Don’t want to ruin your clothes.”

CJ tugged the coveralls on with shaking hands. Working on the Bugatti Veyron was a dream come true and one he had accepted being lost to him because of losing his ride. Maybe there was something else out there for him when his driving career was over.

 

Garrett grimaced, every muscle in his body aching. Bruises would appear at some point during the day. Thank God no one had accidentally punched him in the face. Even with the head gear, he’d probably end up with a broken nose.

Walking into the garage, he heard laughter. He glanced over to see CJ surrounded by other mechanics. They were standing around some car and CJ gestured to something Garrett couldn’t see. Garrett stopped, enjoying the relaxed way his lover chatted with the other men.

CJ seemed to be in his element. Talking about cars with like-minded people made his face light up. Garrett leaned against one of the counters and watched. This laughing, confident CJ must be what the man was really like when he wasn’t worrying about life and was somewhere safe.

His cock twitched and he licked his lips as CJ bent over the engine to point something out. Those unflattering coveralls pulled taut over CJ’s ass, showcasing the firm muscles and Garrett’s hands itched to squeeze them.

“He always did know cars.”

Garrett looked over at Mike as the former boxer joined him in studying CJ. “I wouldn’t doubt that on the track and behind the wheel are the only places he feels comfortable.”

Mike nodded. “True. Before he headed out to drive the circuit, the neighbors would take their cars to him whenever they had problems. I’m not surprised he’s one of the best drivers in racing. It’s a fucking crime what’s going to happen to him.”

“Unfortunately, society hasn’t advanced far enough to give most of our sports stars the right to be gay.” Garrett shook his head. “I’ve never understood the mentality the public has. They don’t want anyone peering into their private lives and their homes, but they have no problem doing it to the rest of us.”

“I guess we assume that if you’re out in the public eye, you shouldn’t be surprised when people feel they know you and have the right to tell you how to live your life. You did it the right way. You were honest and open from the beginning. Didn’t give any of those reporters something to yank out of your closet.” Mike chuckled.

“I didn’t see the point of lying, but I understand why guys like CJ and my brother feel the need to hide who they really are. People can be harsh toward those who are different.” Garrett stretched and groaned. “I think I’m going to take a shower. See if hot water will beat some of the ache out of my muscles.”

“See you in a few for lunch.” Mike slapped him on the shoulder and headed over to speak to CJ and the other mechanics.

He wandered upstairs, grabbing his phone as he headed to the bedroom. Dialing Kasey’s number, he flopped on the bed and waited for his brother to answer.

“Why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you still be in bed with CJ?” Kasey’s voice was rough and sleepy.

“Hasn’t Gram worn you out yet?” He could tease as well.

“Why do you think I’m still asleep?”

The rustling noise coming over the phone informed Garrett that Kasey was probably climbing out of bed.

“Sorry. I can’t ever figure out these stupid time differences.”

“Hey, don’t worry. It’s the off-season. I’m fine.” Kasey yawned. “How’s it going?”

“Good, I think.” For some reason, he had a certain reluctance to talk to Kasey about his relationship with CJ.

“You sleep with him yet?” There was a smile in his twin’s words.

“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

A snort. “You don’t want to talk about it? This coming from a man who never hesitated to tell me about all the kinky stuff you and Rich got into.”

He picked at the blanket he lay on. “I know, but look how that relationship ended.”

“Garrett, Rich’s problems have nothing to do with you.”

Resting his head on a pillow, he sighed. “You’re right. I’m just being silly. How’s the family?”

“They’re all doing great. As much in love with Gram as I am.”

Clink of glass came over the phone. Kasey must be getting a drink.

“Of course, they are. I wouldn’t allow you to fall in love with just any guy.”

“Thanks, jackass.”

There was a pause and he wasn’t ready for whatever his brother was about to say.

“Are you in love with CJ, Garrett?”

Garrett rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. “I’m not sure what to say. I’m feeling the same way I did when I first met Rich. Excited. Horny. Needing to spend as much time as I can with him. Isn’t it too soon for me to be feeling this?”

“I don’t think I’m the right person to be asking about that. Look how long it took me to have a serious relationship. Does it feel right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s the answer you’re looking for. If you feel this way about CJ, then I wouldn’t drive yourself crazy over-thinking things.” Kasey yawned. “I’m going back to bed for a while. My advice, for what’s it worth, is to just go with it. Enjoy the sex and be there for him, because the rough part isn’t over.”

“You’re right. Get back to Gram and tell Mom I’ll call later on today.”

“Will do. Say hi to CJ for us.”

He shut the phone and tossed it on the bed next to him. Pushing off the mattress, he stripped and went to take a shower. Kasey was right. No point in over-thinking the issue. Whatever happened between him and CJ would happen. The only thing he could do was love CJ and hope things would work out.

The warm water soaked his hair and he soaped his hands to wash off. He jumped when CJ peeked around the curtain.

“Can I join you?” A hopeful gleam shone in his blue eyes.

“Like I’d ever turn down a chance to see you wet.” He leered at CJ.

CJ blushed, but stepped in to join him. Garrett embraced CJ, pulling their bodies tight together. CJ’s kisses were fast becoming one of the few things Garrett couldn’t live without. He slid his soap-covered hands down CJ’s back to cup his ass and rocked their groins together.

“Damn.”

CJ dropped his head onto Garrett’s shoulder and shuddered as their erections rubbed over each other.

“Touch us,” Garrett ordered, taking CJ’s hand in his and wrapping both around their pricks.

Stroking and pumping, they drove each other closer to the edge. Garrett leaned forward and sucked up a mark on CJ’s chest, using teeth and tongue to encourage his lover to come. His own climax surged, overwhelming him and detonating throughout his body. Hot come mixed with warm water. CJ grunted and more come joined Garrett’s.

Garrett rested back against the shower tiles, supporting the completely relaxed man in his arms. He waited until his legs regained their strength.

“Can you stand by yourself?” Garrett brushed a kiss over CJ’s ear.

CJ nodded, easing a few inches away. A slightly stunned expression resided in CJ’s face.

“Wow. I guess showers can be exciting.”

Garrett chuckled. “You’re still discovering all the good things about sex. I’ll be happy to show you the rest.”

“I’m sure you will.” CJ’s stomach rumbled. “We better finish up. Mike’ll have lunch ready by now.”

They lathered up and rinsed off. Laughing and teasing, they dressed before heading down to the main house. They would have to head to New York to meet with James and straighten out CJ’s problems, but at the moment, he wanted to enjoy spending time with the man without worrying about the public.

Chapter Sixteen

CJ stared at the hotel suite Garrett had reserved for them in New York City. His eyes widened at the sight of the hot tub in the bathroom. There were two large bedrooms with king size beds.

“This isn’t a hotel room. This is an apartment.” He wandered through the suite, checking things out.

Garrett looked up from where he sat, talking on the phone. CJ basked in the bright smile Garrett sent him. The past two days had been intriguing, exciting and busy. He’d called James Kendall and set up an appointment to talk face-to-face. Plus they’d spent time playing, whether in bed or wandering around the town where CJ grew up.

They had a lot in common, which seemed impossible. He was a small-town hick and Garrett was a Hollywood superstar. He liked beer and pretzels and Garrett should have been a champagne and caviar kind of guy, but Garrett surprised him. He never used his star status to get special treatment. He didn’t drink or party like the young Hollywood stars seemed to specialize in.

Turning, he went to look out the window at the street below. Guilt swamped him. What kind of person did it make him that it took breaking his wife’s heart to find happiness? CJ rested his forehead against the cool glass. How selfish was he?

Strong arms encircled him and he leaned back against Garrett’s warm body. Garrett nuzzled his ear.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

He shrugged. It was hard to explain how guilt would overwhelm him at times. “Just thinking.”

“About Rachel?”

It surprised him at times how observant Garrett could be. “Yes. I guess I was thinking how happy I’ve been the past couple of days and that my happiness came at her expense.”

“In what way?”

“We got married when we were eighteen, even though I understood there was something different about me back then. Sex with her was good, but it didn’t rock my world like it does with you. I tried to be good. I didn’t mess around on her. No women, or men for that matter. I just couldn’t be what she wanted or needed and I was too young to know that maybe being alone was better than being someone I wasn’t.”

“You were married for eight years, right?”

CJ nodded.

“Think of it this way. Sure, she won’t get those eight years back, but at least you didn’t wait until you were fifty before you cut her loose. In my opinion, it would have been far worse if you had wasted twenty or thirty years of both your lives being married. This way, you both get a chance to find love and happiness.” Garrett set his chin on CJ’s shoulder.

“You’re probably right, but I’ll always feel some sort of guilt toward Rachel.”

“I have the same problem. I’ll always feel like I should have been able to save Rich from himself. I tell myself there was nothing I could do. That I offered him help and he refused, but I still think I should have been more focused on him than on my career. Maybe if I hadn’t been gone so often, gone to more parties or let him have his way more often.”

He felt Garrett shake his head. Whirling around, CJ cradled Garrett’s face in his hands, meeting his sad gaze.

“Speaking as someone who was well on his way to being an alcoholic, there was nothing you could do to stop Rich from his fate. It’s easy to get lost in the drugs and the parties, especially when you’re weak. Rich has to make the choice to stop and so far he hasn’t found a reason. Maybe someday he will.” He placed a kiss on Garrett’s lips. “I have to go meet James.”

Garrett kissed him quick. “Let’s go then. I’ll take you out for dinner afterward.”

“Great. I’ve never been in New York.”

 

*

 

“You’ve been screwed, Lamont.”

CJ frowned at the short, balding man walking toward him. James Kendall wore a tailored suit with a red tie. He was average in every way, yet he drew all the attention. Many people must underestimate James from appearances alone and the agent used that to his advantage.

“You might be right, James.”

They shook hands. James nodded at Garrett.

“How’s it going, Johnson?”

“Good, man. How’s the third divorce going?”

James frowned. “She thinks she has me over a barrel, but I got her to sign a pre-nup and she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

They followed him into his office. The agent gestured to the chairs in front of his desk.

“Even though you’re the one who cheated?” Garrett settled in one of the chairs with a grin.

“What can I say? I love the ladies.” James grinned. “I want to go over my contract with you, CJ, and make sure you understand what you’re getting into. I know you said you only need me for a couple months until you make a decision either way about what you’re going to do.”

He accepted the stack of papers James handed to him. Garrett’s phone rang and the actor stood.

“I’ll take this outside. Don’t want to disturb you.”

CJ watched Garrett stroll out. When he turned back, James was studying him.

“You and Johnson an item?”

Nodding, he shifted uncomfortably.

“Shit, man.” James shook his head. “It’s almost like you’re thumbing your nose at all those assholes.”

“Might as well hang for a sheep as for a lamb.”

“True.” James stood and went to the bar, reaching for a bottle. “You want a drink?”

“No thanks.”

He read through the contract, asking for clarification on certain things. Garrett came back in just as he was finishing up. He signed the contract and gave it back to James, who signed his name. Setting the papers aside, the agent met his gaze.

“Have you thought about what you want to do?”

Jumping to his feet, he started pacing. “I have. To be honest, I don’t see that I have any other choice. I’m going to announce my retirement and tell the truth. I hate the way people have been dragging Rachel over the coals. Maybe she shouldn’t have said what she said in the interview, but she did and we can’t take it back.”

“Before you go public, I want you to know I’ve been contacted by your former racing team. They want to hire you back,” James informed him.

He turned. “How the hell did they know to contact you?”

“Your old agent must have mentioned me to them. I contacted him to double check that he let you out of your contract.”

“Un-fucking-believable.” He hit the desk. “Morik shreds my professional reputation and now because their other drivers aren’t nearly as good as I am, they want me back.”

“Don’t say no. As your agent, I want to go on record and say you should hear them out.”

CJ glanced over to where Garrett stood and his green eyes met his.

“What do you think I should do?”

Garrett shrugged. “If it were me, I’d meet with them. See what they have to offer. You never know, CJ. Maybe their offer will be too good to pass up.”

Garrett’s sound advice mirrored his own thoughts, but why did he feel like he was crawling back to beg for his job?

“It’s your decision. We can’t force you to do anything.”

Garrett crossed his arms and CJ’s mind was distracted by the way the cotton T-shirt stretched tight across Garrett’s chest.

James cleared his throat. “Do you want me to set up a meeting?”

His intense ogling of Garrett obviously made James uncomfortable.

“If you don’t like gays, why did you keep Kasey as a client?” he asked.

Surprise blossomed over James’ face. “Not like gays? Where the hell did you get that idea?”

“You seem uncomfortable with us.” He gestured between Garrett and himself.

“Considering you’re staring at the man like you’re going to strip him and do things to him I don’t even want to think about, hell yes, I’m uncomfortable.” James shook his head. “I don’t understand why you like cock instead of pussy.”

CJ started to say something, but James interrupted him.

“I don’t have to understand. Who you sleep with doesn’t affect your talent or ability. It doesn’t make any of you less of a man.” James paused. “In many ways, it makes you more of one because you have to put up with a lot of shit straight guys don’t.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

“Besides, Kasey’s one talented fucker and I’m hitching my wagon to his star.”

They laughed.

“He’ll have a rough go of it for a while, but then someone else will do something crazy and people will forget about it. He just has to hang in there,” Garrett said.

CJ relaxed. It was time to see what options were open for him in the future.

“Call Morik. Get a meeting with them. It’s time to see where I stand.”

James reached for his phone. “Doing it right now. I’ll get back to you with a date and time.”

“Now with that done, you and I have an appointment with a tailor.” Garrett surged to his feet and grabbed CJ’s hand, dragging him from James’ office.

“A tailor?”

“I’m not letting you escort me to the Academy Awards wearing a rented tux.”

He stopped so suddenly he almost jerked Garrett off his feet. Excitement and pride gleamed in Garrett’s eyes.

“You didn’t?”

Garrett’s grin grew bigger and CJ threw his arms around him.

“Fucking awesome, baby. When did you find out?” He kissed Garrett hard, not caring who might see them.

“My agent called and let me know earlier today, but I didn’t want to tell you until after you met with James.” Garrett squeezed him tight. “Shit, CJ. It was only my third movie.”

“You’ve got talent and everyone can see that. Let’s go back to the hotel. I need to get measured and you need to call your family.”

Garrett’s expression turned serious. “You get all the credit for making this role perfect for me, CJ. Without your help last year, I would never have been able to make my character believable.”

He was shaking his head before Garrett stopped speaking. “I helped you get the jargon down so you could act and talk like a driver. You made the character come to life.”

“Be prepared to be embarrassed if I win because I’ll be thanking you.”

“Come on. You need to call everyone.” He pinched Garrett’s ass when he turned to lead the way to the elevator. “We’ll celebrate later.”

The wink he received drove heat to his groin. Lust simmered under his skin for the next hour as they went to a tailor and he got measured for a tux. Garrett ordered it and arranged for it to be delivered to L. A. when it was done. While Garrett was paying for it, CJ called the hotel and arranged for a private dinner in the suite.

They headed back to the hotel and CJ led the way up to their suite. Stopping at the door, he turned to smile at Garrett.

“Okay, close your eyes and don’t open them until I say you can.”

Garrett gave him a puzzled look, but did as he asked. He unlocked the door, grabbed Garrett’s hand and tugged his lover into the room. He glanced around. Everything was set up the way he wanted.

“Open them.”

 

Garrett opened his eyes and gasped in surprise. Candles gave the living area of the suite a soft romantic glow. Two covered dishes sat on the table with a bottle of champagne chilling next to it. Soft jazz music played on the radio.

“How did you do this?”

CJ ducked his head and blushed. “I arranged it while you were paying for the tux. I thought we could celebrate your nomination.”

“Thanks.”

As he swept CJ into a tight hug, he couldn’t help but think of his ex-lover. Rich would have gotten a reservation at the hottest restaurant in town and then called reporters to let them know they would be there. Rich would then have insisted they go out to a club and party until it closed.

He should have known CJ would be more into the private celebration. Burying his hands in CJ’s dark curls, he kissed him. He licked along the seam of CJ’s mouth, asking for entrance. Those plump lips opened for him and he swooped in, savoring the taste of his lover.

Before they got carried away, he stepped back. Their panting drowned the music.

“I don’t want the food to get cold.”

CJ calmed his breathing and nodded. “Yeah, good idea.”

They sat next to each other and CJ took the covers off the plates.

“Lobster and steak. My favorites.” He grinned at CJ.

“I know. That’s why I ordered it. We have crème brulee for dessert.” CJ cut into his steak.

“You’re spoiling me.”

Another blush colored CJ’s face. “You’re worth it.”

“Thank you again.” Garrett pulled the bottle out of the bucket. “How about a drink?”

“Just one. What did your parents have to say when you called them?”

He laughed. “My mom started crying. Amelia was screaming. Dad, Jack, Kasey and Gram were happy for me, but Kasey said it was bound to happen. Just a matter of time.”

“Your parents have to be proud of you and Kasey. Kasey’s the MVP of the NBA All-Star game his second year and you getting an Oscar nomination for your third movie. Impressive.”

“Now, I haven’t won it yet.” Garrett didn’t want to brag, not even to CJ. Being able to do what he loved and live his life the way he wanted made him a very lucky man.

“Still, it’s the Oscars, Garrett. Recognition from the movie industry is important. I never won the Sprint Cup while I was racing. I won a bunch of races, but not the big one. I guess that’s something I’ll regret not being able to do.”

“I’m sorry, CJ. I wish things were different.” He stroked CJ’s hand where it rested it on the table.

“I think I always knew in the back of my mind that it wouldn’t happen for me. I would have done my hardest to win it, but maybe I didn’t deserve it.” His lover pushed his lobster around the plate.

“No feeling sorry for yourself allowed tonight. You can start again tomorrow while you decide what you’re really going to do. Who knows? Maybe Morik will take you back and not care about you being gay.”

CJ shot him a skeptical glance. He smiled a little.

“Okay, so we both know what’s really going to happen at that meeting, but still you have think about all the possibilities.” Garrett held out a bite of steak to CJ. “No worrying about that tonight.”

He groaned as CJ’s lips wrapped around the fork with a flash of white teeth and pink tongue. God, he wanted that mouth surrounding his cock. Clearing his throat, he shifted in his chair. CJ’s knowing gaze met his and heat rose in him at the teasing gleam in his lover’s eyes.

CJ had taken to the sex like a natural, willing to take or give anything Garret had and he was grateful for that. There were times though when he wondered if CJ was caught up in the freedom of being able to do what he always wanted. No matter how much CJ enjoyed the love making, would he go back to hiding who he really was when it came down to losing his ride and everything he ever dreamed of?

Garrett dropped his fork on his plate and reached across the table, grabbing CJ by the shoulders. He dragged the man over to crush their lips together. He tasted the butter CJ had dipped his lobster in. The hops from CJ’s beer danced along his tongue. Nibbling on his bottom lip, he encouraged the man to kiss him back.

CJ shoved him backward off his chair and he hit the floor with a muffled grunt as CJ landed on top of him. The kiss didn’t stop. They drank from each other’s mouths like thirsty men searching for that last drop of water. CJ straddled his hips, pressing their groins together.

“Shit.” Garrett dug his heels into the carpet.

Clasping CJ’s waist, Garrett ground their erections together. CJ fumbled with Garrett’s belt and tried to get his pants open. Garrett managed to stay focused enough to get both their cocks out with his hand wrapped around them.

“Garrett,” CJ cried.

“Keep moving. Let’s take the edge off and we can play more later.”

He tensed and rolled, putting CJ on the bottom. Garrett let go of their shafts. Bracing his hands beside CJ’s head, he rocked his body into his lover’s. He slid over the hot, hard flesh that matched his own. CJ tilted up, giving him the angle and the solidness he needed to create enough friction. His climax built in his spine, radiating down to his balls and causing them to draw closer to his body.

“Come with me. Now.” He leaned down and bit CJ on the shoulder.

“Fuck.” CJ’s body bowed.

Heat splashed between them, coating their shirts and stomachs. Garrett’s climax tore through him and his come joined CJ’s. His strength drained from his muscles as the last drops fell from his cock. He collapsed to the side, not wanting to smother CJ.

CJ patted Garrett’s arm with a shaking hand. “How about a nap?”

Garrett chuckled. “We should probably clean up a little first and then we’ll take a nap.”

“If you think it’s a good idea.” CJ seemed willing to fall asleep on the floor.

He heaved himself to his feet and bent, offering his hand to CJ. CJ stood and they made their way to the bathroom to clean up. Their dirty clothes were tossed to the floor before they crawled under the blankets. Garrett wrapped his arm around CJ’s waist, pulling his lover back toward him. Murmured words he couldn’t hear signaled CJ’s drift into sleep. Garrett contemplated getting up and taking care of their dinner. It could wait as CJ snuggled closer. Garrett buried his face against CJ’s neck, letting his mind shut down.

 

*

 

Garrett blinked, frowning a little at the feel of something sliding down his side. Reaching down, he scratched. His fingers slipped through warm sticky liquid. He shot upright and stared down at his stomach.

A trail of amber liquid clung to each ridge and valley of his muscles, pooling in his belly button before moving on to coat his cock. Drops of the sticky stuff stuck to his nipples. He raised his fingers and tentatively touched his tongue to the stuff.

“Honey?”

“Yes, dear?”

He glanced up to see CJ leaning in the doorway, holding a bottle of honey.

“Where’d you get it from?”

CJ pushed off the frame and strolled toward him, rolling his hips in a seductive gait. Garrett was already half-hard when he woke up and his cock stiffened even more as he watched the sexiest man on earth close in on him.

“I called room service and those nice people brought up a nicely warmed bottle of honey to me.” CJ bent down and licked a line around Garrett’s nipple.

“Uh,” Garrett moaned, his hand stroking down CJ’s back. “Why honey?”

“Don’t like chocolate, but I like honey and I wanted to lick every inch of your body.” CJ nuzzled his neck.

He shivered, letting his head roll to one side. CJ nibbled along the tendon and Garrett moaned. He didn’t protest when CJ urged him to lie back down. Settling on his elbows, he watched CJ kneel beside him, honey bottle in hand.

CJ circled Garrett’s nipple with his tongue, swiping through the honey covering the hard nub. Teeth scraped over his flesh and bit. A quick flash of pain shot down his spine and his cock twitched. CJ sucked his nipple in while wrapping a honey-coated hand around Garrett’s prick and stroked in time with the sucking.

“Oh God.”

Who knew honey could be sexy? His head fell back as his mind slowly went blank. CJ trailed his tongue across to the other neglected nipple. Sucking, licking and pinching went along with CJ jacking him off. Garrett fell into a rocking rhythm, fucking CJ’s hand. He fisted his own hands into the sheets around him. He fought the urge to take control and push CJ’s head down to his cock. He’d let CJ move at his own pace, even if it killed him.

CJ took his time moving down Garrett’s stomach. Long sweeping licks mixed with sharp bites. His prick leaked pre-come, mixing with the honey to ease the friction of CJ’s pumping. He set his heels against the bed and thrust into his lover’s grip.

“Taste me, CJ. Please,” he pleaded, not caring how needy he sounded. He wanted to feel CJ’s mouth taking him in and swallowing him down.

Easing up from the soft crease where Garrett’s hip and leg came together, CJ smiled down at him. “I bet you taste marvelous. All sweet and salty.”

He propped his upper body up by his elbows and stared as CJ dragged a finger through the honey and pre-come coating Garrett’s shaft, collecting a dollop. Garrett groaned as CJ sucked the liquid off his finger with a moan.

CJ pushed Garrett’s thighs apart and settled between them. One quick kiss on the crown of his prick before CJ swallowed the entire length down.

“Love,” Garrett shouted. He arched off the mattress.

He lost control. He put his hands on CJ’s head and held him still while he started fucking that warm, wet mouth. Surrendering to his hold, CJ relaxed and took as much as Garrett gave him. Shudders rocked Garrett. CJ’s moans caused vibrations to dance along the length of Garrett’s shaft.

C.J sucked and licked, seeming determined to get every drop of honey off. All the while he drove Garrett out of his mind. CJ inched his free hand under Garrett’s ass and ran the tip over Garrett’s hole.

“Uh…” Garrett’s voice emerged as a whimper.

He tilted his hips, offering easier access and CJ accepted. As CJ pressed in, Garrett let his head drop back and bit his lip. He relished the burn of his muscles stretching to accommodate CJ’s finger. CJ pulled out and thrust two fingers in.

Sparks flew behind his eyelids when CJ’s fingers nailed Garrett’s prostate. He surged up into CJ’s mouth. CJ swirled his tongue around Garrett’s shaft, teasing the slit in the crown. Every nerve ending in Garrett’s body fired and he exploded, spilling his come down CJ’s throat who continued to swallow, massaging Garrett’s cock with his throat. He worked on relaxing Garrett’s ass with his fingers.

Garrett jerked one last time and melted into the bed. He stroked a trembling hand over CJ’s shoulder. CJ licked him clean before moving up to place a kiss on Garrett’s mouth. Garrett tasted his own flavor on CJ’s lips. He fisted CJ’s erection and pumped.

“How do you want me, love?”

“Just like this. I want to see your face.”

He cradled CJ’s cheek in his hand and smiled. “You can look at me as much as you want.”

CJ scooted over to the side of the bed, reaching for the lube they’d placed in the drawer of the nightstand. His lover crowed in delight and held up the tube, making him laugh.

“Give me that. Get the condom on and I’ll let you fuck me.”

He caught the slick CJ tossed at him. Kneeling between his thighs, CJ rolled the rubber on. Garrett filled the palm of his hand with lube and set the tube to the side. He sat up, rubbed his hands together to warm it a little and spread it around.

Wrapping his hands around CJ’s cock, Garrett pumped the thick shaft, coating the entire length. He squeezed as he stroked.

“Quit teasing, Garrett.” CJ pouted.

He rubbed a thumb over CJ’s bottom lip. “All right. Come and get me.”

CJ pushed Garrett back, encouraging him to recline. Garrett relaxed, letting CJ arrange his thighs over the man’s arms and ease their bodies close. CJ’s flared head press against Garrett’s hole and filled him in a way nothing else ever did.

They moved together, harder and faster with each thrust. Soon CJ was slamming into Garrett, driving him back toward the edge again. His legs went up onto CJ’s shoulders and CJ bent him almost in half.

“Love,” he cried out as CJ’s cock slid deeper than before and nailed his gland.

He wanted to touch his own prick, but he couldn’t. Garrett braced his hands against the head board to keep from slamming his head into the wall.

“I’m gonna come,” CJ warned.

“Do it,” he ordered, tightening his inner channel around CJ’s cock.

CJ’s head dropped forward and he grunted, jerking with each spurt of fluid filling his condom. Garrett’s climax hit him and his come covered their stomachs, mixing with the honey still there. CJ collapsed on top of him, driving what little breath he had left out of his lungs. Not caring, he embraced his lover while easing his legs to keep from cramping.

Murmuring, CJ rolled to the side, taking Garrett with him and settling comfortably with a sigh.

“We need to clean up before we sleep.”

CJ didn’t open an eye. Garrett poked and prodded the other man out of bed and into the bathroom. They washed up. Garrett took a shower to get the junk off his chest and cock, thanking God he didn’t have a lot of hair at his groin. It would have taken longer to scrub off the sticky mess of come and honey out of his hair.

“Maybe honey wasn’t the best thing to use, but I have to admit you did taste good drizzled with it.” CJ winked.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure I can find something to lick off you and it’ll be just as much fun as your little trick.” He rinsed the soap bubbles off.

He dried off and finished getting ready for bed. The phone rang and CJ went to answer it. By the time he got back into the bedroom, CJ was curled up under the covers. He joined him and snuggled close.

“Who called?”

“James. I have a meeting with Morik tomorrow afternoon. We have a flight leaving La Guardia at eight in the morning.”

“Better get some sleep. It’ll be a long day.”

Garrett hoped CJ would be surprised by his racing team tomorrow and welcomed back with open arms. He smothered his bitter chuckle. He might create fictional characters, but he was firmly rooted in the real world. CJ was going to lose everything he worked so hard to gain tomorrow if he chose to continue being out. Garrett stared down at his sleeping lover and wished he could direct a happy ending for CJ.

Chapter Seventeen

“Why aren’t we staying at your place?” Garrett asked as CJ opened the door to their hotel room.

CJ shrugged, tossing the key card on the desk and flopping down on the bed.

“You do know that’s not an answer.”

Garrett set his luggage on the rack and sat next to him. Rolling over on his side, CJ settled close to Garrett and rested his hand on Garrett’s thigh.

“I guess I don’t think of it as my home anymore.”

Garrett ran his fingers through CJ’s hair. The tension in his shoulders loosened and he relaxed, pushing the anticipation of the Morik meeting out of his mind. He’d deal with that when it was time.

“Where’s home for you now if not in Charlotte?”

The tone of Garrett’s question made CJ lift his head and study his face. What he said next seemed to be very important to Garrett. CJ’s gaze roamed over Garrett’s face, seeing worry in the little lines bracketing his mouth.

Time to leap off the edge.

“Home for me is wherever you happen to be.”

Fuck, that sounded corny like he’d been watching bad “B” romance movies. Garrett tugged on his arm, forcing him to sit up and face him.

“Are you sure?”

“As sure as I can be.” He jumped to his feet and paced, shoving his hand through his hair. “Look, Garrett, I’ve never been in love before, so I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. All I know is that I want to be with you all the time. I hate knowing that after all this is done, you’ll go back to L.A. and I’ll have to find somewhere else to live.”

“But you love your house.”

“It’s just a place and the only good memory I have of it is the night you had dinner with me and I kissed you.”

He knelt on the bed, cradling Garrett’s face in his hands. Putting all his love in his words, he tried to convince Garrett of his feelings.

“I love you, Garrett. I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you. I want to go back to L.A. with you, but I’m not a good bet. I’m not holding my breath about Morik giving me my ride back. I still have a lot to deal with concerning my sexuality and people knowing about it.”

Garrett opened his mouth and CJ spoke over him, not wanting to hear Garrett say no.

“Will you be my partner, Garrett? Love and help me deal with all of the craziness I’ll be going through.”

He shut up when Garrett pushed him down and braced himself above CJ.

“Be quiet for a second, CJ. You have to let me talk or I can’t tell you how much I love you. It’s only been a short time since we’ve really started getting to know each other, but I think I fell in love with you a year ago when you kissed me and looked so desperate.” He pressed a kiss to CJ’s mouth and pulled back. “I’ll be your partner in everything if you let me. Come live with me and we’ll figure out what makes you happy. Maybe we’ll get you a garage to do custom work in like Mike.”

Flipping Garrett over, CJ kissed him with all the emotion he could muster. Happiness shot through him like fireworks in the night sky. Things weren’t going to miraculously fix themselves just because he and Garrett declared themselves, but he would able to deal with the rest of it knowing Garrett would be beside him.

Rearing back, he fumbled with the buttons of Garrett’s jeans. Garrett swatted his hands away and started unfastening the buttons himself.

“Get yourself naked, love,” Garrett ordered.

CJ didn’t take his eyes off Garrett as he stripped, tossing his clothes over his shoulder, not caring where they landed. Garrett finished undressing at the same time and they came together with a thud. He filled his hands with Garrett’s firm ass, rocking his groin against Garrett’s.

“I want you in me,” he begged.

“Give me your hand.”

He held it up and Garrett sucked two of his fingers in, getting them as wet as he could.

“Start getting yourself ready. I’ll dig out the rubbers and the lube.”

Lying back, CJ reached down and pressed his finger to his opening, breeching the ring of muscles as deeply as he could while Garrett jumped off the bed and unzipped his suitcase to get at his shaving kit. CJ fucked himself and moaned.

“Hurry, love.”

Garrett stood by the bed, holding up a condom packet. “Do we need this?”

“You know I’m clean, Garrett and I trust you.” He arched as he shoved two fingers into his inner passage.

“I’ve been tested every six months. As soon as I found out what Rich was doing, I wouldn’t fuck him without condoms and by the end, we weren’t having sex at all.”

“Fine.”

At the moment, he didn’t want to hear about Rich. “Fuck me, Garrett.”

Garrett popped the top of the lube open and squirted some on his palm, coating his cock with the slick. Spreading CJ’s thighs wider, he rubbed some lube into the stretched opening.

“Good enough.” CJ grabbed behind his knees and pulled his thighs back, giving Garrett more access. “Do it now.”

Garrett positioned the head of his cock at CJ’s hole and thrust forward, not stopping until he was buried deep inside. CJ let his head drop back as he groaned, and Garrett paused.

“Are you ready?”

CJ couldn’t talk, but he nodded. Yes, he wanted Garrett to take him and mark him as his. He wasn’t going to last long from the way his balls drew up close to his body and his cock ached.

Pulling out, Garrett waited until CJ met his eyes and he slammed back in.

“Fuck,” CJ cried, his hands fisting in the sheets under him. “Again.”

The smooth rhythm they usually had while making love was gone. All that was left was the primitive grunts and groans as they rocketed toward their mutual climaxes. CJ came first when Garrett nailed his gland hard.

“Love,” he shouted, come spurting from his cock to cover his chest and stomach.

The internal spasms of his climax drove Garrett over the edge and he flooded CJ’s channel with warm wet come. Shit, it really did feel like Garrett was spilling the very essence of his life into CJ. When every last drop was drained from him, Garrett collapsed on top of him. He wrapped his arms around Garrett and hugged him close for a moment, letting them both catch their breath.

“Thank you,” he whispered and Garrett nodded, seeming to understand what CJ was thanking him for, even though CJ didn’t know for sure himself.

“We have time for a short nap before James gets here.” Garrett stood and made his way to the bathroom, returning with two wash cloths.

After they cleaned up, he tossed them back toward the other room before slipping under the blankets with CJ. They snuggled close and drifted to sleep.

 

They woke up an hour later and CJ took a quick shower before meeting up with James. They headed over to the Morik Team headquarters. Garrett chose to stay behind.

James looked at him in the taxi. “I need you to let me do the talking.”

He opened his mouth and James held up his hand.

“You might think talking to these people will be good for you, but it isn’t. I’ve done negotiations like this before. I can get us the best deal, if you want to take it.”

“Let’s see what they offer before I make a decision. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

“Good plan.”

They went in and were showing up to Ron Morik’s office. Taking a deep breath, CJ opened the door.

“CJ, good to see you.” Ron Morik rose, holding out his hand and greeting CJ with a jovial grin.

CJ would be polite if it killed him. He shook the team owner’s hand, even though he would have preferred punching the man in the face. “Mr. Morik.”

He nodded toward Donald, Ron’s son. There was no love lost between the two of them. Donald resented the success CJ had achieved. The man must have jumped up and down for joy when he heard about the mess CJ’s ex-wife had created.

“This is James Kendall, my new agent.” He introduced James.

“What happened to Brad?” Morik frowned.

He shrugged. “I found out Brad didn’t have my best interests in mind. I dissolved our contract and hired James to insure I don’t get screwed.”

“Sounds like you enjoy getting screwed,” Donald muttered.

CJ stiffened, but didn’t reply. The best way to annoy Donald was by not responding to his snide comments.

“What are the terms?” James set his briefcase on the table and sat down, not waiting for permission.

CJ followed suit. He’d been warned to stay as quiet as possible. He could easily antagonize the Moriks with his smart mouth and arrogant attitude. At least that was what James told him. He didn’t think he was arrogant. Over the last several months, he’d developed a low bullshit tolerance. While discovering who he really was and who his true friends were, he learned he didn’t like dealing with people who were bigoted for stupid reasons and his being gay was one.

Ron stared at him. “We want you back and you’ll be our number one driver, getting the best car and crew. We’ll do everything in our power to promote you and make you the hottest driver on the circuit.”

He grunted. He’d been at the very top before and look what happened. Morik and his sponsors left him high and dry, floundering to find support in the storm. They were willing to let him drown. To wipe any memory of him out of the fans’ minds, but found out they didn’t have the talent to do it. So now they needed him.

Did he need them? What did they expect him to give up? Those were the questions he’d asked himself the night before.

“What’s the catch?”

James’s question echoed CJ’s.

“What makes you think there’s a catch?” Ron sounded insulted, but both Moriks shifted in their chairs.

“No matter how generous an owner is, not one of them would make an offer like that out of the goodness of their hearts. Baseball. Football. NASCAR. Doesn’t matter. You need to ensure your investment is worthwhile.” James frowned at them. “What’s the catch?”

Ron’s lawyer pushed a sheaf of papers across the table at CJ.

Ron explained, “While you drive for us, you keep your personal life squeaky clean. If you want to go out, we’ll provide a date for you. There can’t be any controversy surrounding you.”

“Just spit out what you want to say, Morik.” He glared at the older man.

“It means you can’t have any contact with Garrett Johnson or any other person of that persuasion.”

Ron’s eyes were cold and calculating. They thought they had him by the balls.

A few weeks ago, CJ would have given everything up to be able to drive again. It was what he lived for and the only real talent he had. His pride had been tied up in his career because he’d been so ashamed of who he really was.

After having everything taken from him along with every friend deserting him, he learned to be strong. Garrett showed him that honoring his own soul was far more important than worrying about what other people thought. He was still working on believing that motto, but faced with the prejudice of the Moriks, he was willing to take a stand.

“Really?”

“Yeah. You and your fag boyfriend will have to break up.” Donald leaned forward. “I want to know though. Which one of you is the woman? Who takes it up the ass?”

CJ clenched his fists, but made no move toward Donald. James touched his arm.

“Think before you say anything,” his agent murmured.

Pushing to his feet, CJ looked each man in the eye and smiled.

“I went over all of the possibilities last night, James.” Harsh laughter burst from his throat. “You bastard.”

Ron winced. “We have certain standards to uphold in NASCAR, CJ. We’re a family sport.”

“Fuck you. NASCAR has nothing to do with your stupid conditions. As long as I’m not caught doing anything illegal, NASCAR can’t and won’t do a damn thing. This is all about your image and narrow-minded lives.”

He turned and headed toward the door. James followed him.

“You’ll never get another driving gig, CJ. We’ll make sure of that.”

Donald’s threat made CJ shake his head.

“I don’t care, Morik. I’d rather not ever step foot on another track than deal with bastards like you.”

He walked out with a lighter step. He’d given them a chance to show him they weren’t bigots, but they’d gone out of their way to shove their obnoxious views in his face. The unfortunate result of him declining their offer was the rumors they would spread.

“They’re right, you know,” he said to James as they waited for the elevator.

“In what way?” James looked puzzled.

“Word of mouth will make sure no team will hire me.” He couldn’t work up the anger he should feel at the unfairness of it.

“They can’t keep you from being hired by another team. Not even NASCAR would condone that.” James handed CJ his briefcase and dug out his phone. “I’m going to call a lawyer I know. He’s done some favors for me. He can see what sort of policies the sport has.”

“The official line will be I’m an alcoholic, a danger to myself and everyone else on the track. I’m difficult to work with.”

CJ stepped into the elevator car, waited until James joined him before pushing the lobby button.

“We can fight that.” James sounded confident.

“Maybe, but the unofficial reason will be because I’m gay. No one will want to risk losing sponsors or money. I broke the ‘good old boys’ code. There’s no combating that, James. Maybe at some point in the future, one of the owners will be willing to risk losing money and hire me. But it isn’t the right time yet for there to be an openly gay driver on the circuit.”

“What will you do? I’m willing to represent you if you want to try and get another ride.”

They walked off the elevator and went outside to flag down a cab.

“Mike said he’d hire me for his garage, but I’ve been thinking about opening my own garage.”

James started to speak when his phone rang. He answered it.

CJ gave serious thought to his own garage. He could open it in L.A., so he wouldn’t have to move away from Garrett. Mike would be more than willing to send some customers his way. There were options open to him without having to hide who he was or who he loved.

“Shit.” James flipped his phone shut with a snap.

“What’s wrong?”

“Kasey got in a fight with Roscoe. Everyone on the team swears Roscoe started it, but Kasey will still be suspended by the team for a game.” James punched his briefcase. “Stupid bastard. Can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Kasey shouldn’t have to act like he’s doing something wrong.” CJ defended his friend.

“What?” James glared at him for a moment. “Oh hell, I wasn’t talking about Kasey. I was talking about Roscoe. The man’s jealous as hell because Kasey’s taking over his spot as star of the team. He’s bitter and needs to take out his anger on someone.”

“Unfortunately, Kasey makes an easy target.”

James nodded. “Yes. Kasey doesn’t care what others say about him, but when they start running their mouths about Gram or Garrett, he gets mad.”

“Can you blame him? One’s his lover and the other one is his brother. He’ll do what he needs to do to protect them.”

The cab pulled up in front of their hotel. CJ climbed out and looked back.

“You need to get out to Phoenix and do some damage control.”

“Thanks. I’ll call you and we’ll set up an appointment to talk about what you’re going to do now.”

“Talk to you later.” He entered the hotel.

Talk about his future? There really wasn’t anything to talk about. He’d made his choice. Actually he’d made it last night, but the meeting had reinforced the decision. As he’d watched his lover sleep, listened to his breathing and absorbed his warmth, CJ discovered he’d never give Garrett up. He was giving up a life-long dream for a life-long love with no sadness in him for the choice.

“Christopher?”

His head snapped around. His father stood next to a pillar in the lobby, looking out of place in his threadbare suit.

“Dad, what are you doing here?”

Holding out his hand, he waited to see what his dad would do. His father shook his hand firmly.

“Brad and your mother were talking. He mentioned that Morik was going to make you an offer.”

“You want to come up to the room?” He waved a hand toward the elevator.

“Sure.”

They didn’t talk as they rode up to the top floor. CJ smiled at his father’s wide-eyed gaze when they stepped off the elevator into the penthouse suite.

“Garrett, are you decent,” he called out, gesturing to his father to sit.

“Yes. I’m packing our clothes. We have a flight to Phoenix leaving in two hours.”

Garrett walked from their bedroom, folding a shirt. His eyes focused on CJ’s dad and he stopped. CJ took his hand and led him to his father.

“Dad, this is my partner, Garrett Johnson. Garrett, this is my dad.”

His father paled slightly at “partner”, but he shook Garrett’s hand without hesitation.

“Nice to meet you, Garrett.”

“Mr. Lamont.” Garrett shot CJ a puzzled look. “I’ll leave you two to talk while I finish packing.”

“I guess Kasey called you.” He ran a hand up and down Garrett’s arm, soothing his lover’s obvious agitation.

“No. Gram called. That’s why I booked us a flight to Phoenix. I want to go and support him.”

“Good idea. Gram will take care of him until you get there and make sure nothing’s happened to him.” He chuckled when Garrett punched him in the arm. “James’s already headed out there.”

“Good. Nice meeting you, Mr. Lamont.” Garrett went back into the other room.

“Would you like something to drink, Dad?” CJ made his way to the mini-bar.

“I’m fine, Christopher. Did you meet with Morik?”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I did, but I’m not driving for them.”

“Why not?”

CJ flopped down on the chair across from the couch his dad sat on. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “They offered to make me their top driver and give me all the support I needed to become the hottest driver on the circuit.”

“What’s the catch?” Dad’s eyes narrowed.

“I wondered the same thing. The catch was I couldn’t be gay anymore. I had to cut all ties with Garrett or any other gay person I might run into. If I want a social life, they would provide me with a girl.” CJ laughed.

“That’s not legal.”

“It’s not. At least not officially. The owners can add their own clauses to the contracts.”

“You told them to shove it, right?”

Staring at his father, he asked, “You’re not going to tell me I’m crazy for turning down a deal like that?”

His father shook his head. “They have no right to tell you how to live your personal life, son.”

An emotion strangely like happiness surged in him. Dad might not understand why his only son liked guys, but he wasn’t going to turn his back on CJ.

“You’re right, Dad. They can’t tell me who to see. Unfortunately, they can make it so I don’t ever get hired to drive again.”

The flaring of his father’s nostrils signaled his anger.

“It’s not fair.”

“Unless I want to knuckle under to what they think is right, I don’t have a choice.” He held up his hand to stop the tirade about to come from his father’s mouth. “I’m okay with it. Sure, I’d rather be driving. It’s all I ever wanted to do, but I can’t. Not without sacrificing something that’s become far more important to me.”

A glance from his father toward the other room showed he knew what CJ was talking about.

“Garrett’s only one reason why I won’t sign a contract like that. When I got started in racing, I gave up a lot of my integrity for what the owners could do for me. I gave them so much of myself and they gave me nothing in return. They threw me to the fucking wolves, Dad. I’m not willing to hide anymore.”

“What will you do now?”

“Mike would hire me, but I’m thinking about opening a garage out in L.A. Keeps me closer to Garrett and takes me out of the area for a while.”

His father nodded. “I can see you doing that.”

Having his approval meant the world to CJ. “Did you drive here?”

“Yeah. I stopped by your house.”

CJ shrugged. “I’m going to sell it. I’ll be calling a moving company and letting Betsy know in the next day or so. No reason for me to stay around here.”

“I’m proud of you, Christopher. It takes a strong man to give up something that has defined you for most of your life. You’ll find the right path for yourself and you’ll have someone special to help see you through the change.”

Garrett was in the other room, mumbling to himself and he grinned. Dad was right. Even if their relationship didn’t work out, he would have Garrett’s support and friendship.

“I better get going. Your mother is going to wonder why I haven’t checked in yet.”

Surprise drifted through CJ as his father hugged him and something settled in CJ’s mind. There was no doubt he could deal with whatever happened now.

CJ walked his dad to the door. “Where does she think you are?”

“I’m meeting some friends from the plant here for dinner and spending the night before I go back home. That is the truth. She just didn’t know I was going to stop by and see you as well.”

Sadness hit him. “Will she ever accept me, Dad?”

The older Lamont shrugged. “I’m not sure, son. Your mother loves you, but you threw her a curveball by coming out. It’s going to take awhile for her to wrap her mind around the whole gay thing.”

He couldn’t force his mother to accept him and let him back into her life. He would have to take what he could get from his dad. Maybe someday he’d be able to introduce his mom to Garrett and show her why he couldn’t help but love the man.

“Have a safe trip home, Dad. I’ll call you later in the week.”

After his dad left, he wandered into the bedroom and helped Garrett finish packing. Garrett’s phone rang as CJ zipped the last bag closed.

“Yeah, Sam. What’s going on?”

Sam was Garrett’s agent. CJ carried the bags to the door for the bell man to collect.

“Shit.”

He turned to catch Garrett stalking across the living room to turn on the TV.

“I have it on. Tell you what. I’ll be in Phoenix in a couple of hours. Meet me at Liverpool. We’ll discuss how to deal with this.”

Garrett snapped his phone shut and hurdled it against the wall.

“Bastard. I should have known he’d do something like this.”

“Who did what?” He’d never seen his lover this angry.

“Rich.” Garrett gestured toward the TV screen.

The reporter was talking. “Richard Seymour, former lover of movie star, Garrett Johnson, has called a press conference this morning to tell his side of their recent break-up.”

A clip of Rich popped up on the screen and CJ winced. Garrett’s ex looked terrible. Thin, pale and visibly trembling, Rich had to have been high on something. His glassy, bloodshot eyes were a clue.

“I chose to end my relationship with Garrett Johnson. Though he’s a great actor, no one would know by looking at him or even talking to him that he has violent mood swings. I finally left because I believed he’d kill me one day if I stayed.”

Rich’s voice was monotone. No emotion and the speech sounded rehearsed. CJ’s jaw dropped and he stared as the reporter came back on.

“Garrett Johnson couldn’t be reached for his reactions to the accusations leveled by Seymour. Johnson’s agent did reply with this statement: ‘Mr. Seymour is a very troubled man. We hope the public will remember Mr. Johnson’s reputation before believing these lies.’ Also, Mr. Johnson’s agent said we could be expecting a personal statement from Garrett Johnson soon.”

“More damage control,” CJ murmured.

Garrett turned tear-filled eyes on him. He wasn’t sure if they were tears of anger or pain. Maybe a mixture of both.

“Why would he do this, CJ? He loved me once.”

He embraced his lover, crushing Garrett tight to his chest. CJ encouraged Garrett to lay his head on his shoulder and ran his hand through his blond curls.

“Rich did love you, Garrett. Probably still does, but he’s lost. The alcohol and drugs cloud his mind. At the moment, the man you loved doesn’t exist.”

Garrett took a shuddering breath.

“It’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do to help him. The sad thing is Rich has to reach rock bottom before he gets better. It’s the only way for a person to overcome their addiction.”

CJ’s stomach roiled. He had been well on his way to becoming like Rich when Garrett rescued him in that club. He said a silent thankful prayer that Garrett cared enough to help him. He brushed a kiss over his lover’s cheek.

“Come on, baby. We’ll get to Phoenix and work something out.” He chuckled. “You Johnson boys just can’t help creating news wherever you are.”

“Must be our charming personalities.” Garrett gave him a weak smile, but followed him.

Chapter Eighteen

Garrett accepted the beer from Jess with a nod. The young waiter set the rest of the drinks down before smiling and leaving the group alone. They were in one of the private rooms at Liverpool, Gram’s club. He looked around the table. Gram and Kasey were seated to Garrett’s right. His brother’s eye was swollen and it would be black and blue by the morning. Evidence of his fight with Roscoe earlier that day.

James and Sam, their respective agents, sat cross from him. They’d been talking since they arrived. They were discussing how they were going to work these situations to their advantage.

Leaning against his left side, CJ whispered, “Are you okay?”

He’d been asking himself that same question since they arrived in Phoenix. Was he okay with the way Rich smeared him in the press? Was he willing to excuse those slanderous words as simply the drugs talking? Yet did the drugs explain all the things Rich did to him in the past? The press conference was another example of Rich craving attention and the spotlight to the point of not caring who he hurt in the process. Not even if that person ultimately ended up being Rich himself.

“I don’t know.”

CJ accepted his honesty without pushing. Garrett took a long drink of his beer, set the bottle down and looked at everyone.

“What do we do now?”

Sam settled back in the booth and gestured for James to take the lead. The sports agent cleared his throat.

“The best thing for all of us is to hold our own press conferences. Kasey, you’ll accept responsibility for the fight.”

“Now wait a minute,” Frowning, Kasey protested. “I didn’t start the fight. Roscoe was shooting his mouth off about Garrett and Gram. I don’t particularly care what the jerk says about me, but he’s not going to run down my family.”

“I get your problem with Roscoe. He’s an asshole, but you can’t keep getting into fights with him. It doesn’t look good for you.” Gram stroked a hand over Kasey’s shoulder. “You have to be above Roscoe’s pettiness.”

“When I say you’re going to accept the responsibility, I mean you’ll say that you were wrong to get in the fight and that you accept whatever punishment the team and the league levels against you.” James glared at Kasey until he nodded.

“Okay. Garrett, you’re doing a press conference and we’ll tell the world about Rich’s drug problems. How you tried to get him help, but the man wouldn’t accept that he had an addiction. You’ll tell the reporters about the restraining order you took out to keep you and your family safe from his jealous rages. Regret, sadness and some guilt would be great emotions to express during the conference. You’re an actor. Whether you feel them or not, you can act like you do.”

Those emotions wouldn’t be hard for Garrett to feel since he’d been dealing with them from the moment he’d kicked Rich out of the house. It would be the first big scandal of his career. Smiling grimly, he realized it probably wouldn’t be the last, especially if he had as long a career as he wanted.

“What about me?” CJ squeezed his knee while asking James.

The sports agent gave CJ a puzzled frown. “To be honest, I’m not sure what kind of advice I can give you. You’ve turned down the best offer you’re going to get from Morik. You do have other options. I can see if other teams are interested in you. You already know that losing your ride means you lose your sponsors. Do you really think Morik meant those threats about blackballing you with the other teams?”

Garrett ran his hand over his lover’s back, feeling the bumps of the man’s spine beneath his T-shirt. He tried to offer CJ some comfort.

“Ron Morik might be willing to take my refusal and move on, but Donald will drag me through the mud. He’s never liked me. Something like this would make him jump with joy. He’s always said I’ve gotten more credit than I deserve.” CJ’s laugh was bitter.

“So basically there will be no offers coming from any team.” James scrubbed the back of his neck. “There aren’t any options that I can see.”

CJ’s smile filled with a strange sort of sad happiness. “There are options. Just none of them include me racing again.”

Silence reigned. Everyone understood how much CJ had lost by the revelation of his orientation. In a way, Kasey, more than any of them, could sympathize.

“When you call the press conference, I’ll announce my retirement and if the question comes up about my ex-wife’s interview, I won’t lie. I tried living the other way and it didn’t get me anything but pain and unhappiness. I might not be able to drive, but I’ll be happy.”

Leaning over, CJ brushed a kiss over Garrett’s lips.

“Good. Sam and I will get started calling reporters. The press conference will be at ten tomorrow. I suggest you all go home and get a good night’s sleep. The reporters aren’t going to cut you any slack.” James stood, gestured for Sam to follow him and pulled out his phone as they walked out.

Kasey rested his head on Gram’s shoulder and groaned. “I hate press conferences.”

“Then stop hitting people and you won’t have to do any.” Gram stood. “I have to go check in with Bo. I’m thinking about sending Jess up to run the L.A. club for me.”

“Good idea. Jess is a good kid and he needs to get away from here.” Kasey turned to look at Garrett and CJ. “There’s a guy who used to be a customer here. Won’t take no for an answer and has been stalking Jess. Maybe getting him out of town will help.”

Gram cupped Kasey’s cheek and kissed him. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Order whatever you want. If you need to eat, there’s a restaurant next door we can get take-out from.”

“Thanks, love.”

Garrett jumped as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the number. “It’s Quentin. I need to talk to him. I’ll be right back.”

CJ waved at him, letting him know he’d be fine until he returned.

“Hey, Quentin, how are things going?”

“Man, where the hell are you now?” Quentin sounded annoyed.

“I’m in Phoenix. Did you see the circus that Rich created?”

“That’s why I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. What the hell was he thinking?”

He went out into the alley behind the club and propped his body up against the wall. “I don’t know what he was thinking, Quentin. That’s the problem. If I knew what he wanted out of it, I would be able to make sense of it. Everyone tells me it’s just the drugs and alcohol. That Rich doesn’t mean what he says.”

A snort assaulted his ear. “I’m keeping my opinion to myself. Are you going to make any comments?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow at ten. Watch TV.”

“Do you need me there?”

He shook his head and remembered Quentin couldn’t see him. “No. We’re good.”

“Who’s going to be at the conference with you?”

“Kasey is taking responsibility for the fight he and Roscoe got into yesterday. CJ is here and he’ll be announcing his retirement.”

A couple burst from the club, arms wrapped around each other and moaning. He chuckled.

“Hey, I’m going to head back inside. I’ll call you tomorrow to let you know when CJ and I will be back in L.A.”

“Good. Oh and congrats on your nomination. It’s about time you have something to show for all that goofing around you do on movie sets,” his friend teased him.

“Give Lisa a kiss for me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hung up and went back in.

Garrett chuckled as he walked back into the room. Kasey was curled up in one corner of the couch and CJ had claimed the other corner. Both men were sound asleep. Gram joined him in the doorway.

“It amazes me how Kasey can sleep anywhere. Must come from all the traveling he does.” Gram shook his head. “I’m waking him up and taking him to my place. You’re staying at his condo, right?”

“When are you two moving in together?”

He followed Gram over to the couch. His brother’s boyfriend shrugged.

“We haven’t talked about it. Still getting to know each other and…” Gram looked a little guilty. “I feel like I sort of pushed him to come out. I would have been willing to keep our relationship quiet.”

Garrett watched Gram stared at Kasey, love shining in Gram’s eyes. Reaching out, he gripped Gram’s arm.

“Kasey knows that, Gram. He also knows how difficult this is going to be. My brother has far more courage than any of us imagined. I think he’ll survive this. Ask him to move in with you. Let him know that you appreciate him and are ready to make a real life with him.”

Gram gave him a quick hug. “Thanks. Now take your man home and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be an interesting day.”

“You get some sleep as well.”

Garrett and Gram led their sleepy lovers out of the club and took them home.

Epilogue

CJ fidgeted with the cuffs on his shirt.

“You look fine.” Kasey strolled over to him and fixed his tie.

He smiled at Kasey. “I don’t look nearly as hot as you and your brother do.”

“Just don’t have the right genes, I guess.”

Taking a moment to collect himself, CJ met Kasey’s gaze and asked, “Am I crazy to do this?”

“For retiring or for admitting that what everyone is thinking is true?” Kasey moved away, resting his hip against the desk and crossing his arms.

CJ couldn’t stay still. He wandered around Gram’s office. They had chosen to use the club as the site for the press conference. It was in one of the private room that had an outside entrance, so none of the reporters were brought through the actual club. CJ touched the pens on the desk. He wandered over to the couch and ran his hand over the soft leather.

“CJ?”

He looked at Kasey. “For both, I guess.”

Garrett’s twin shrugged. “It’s your decision, CJ, and none of us would blame you for not speaking out. Hell, you could say you have an alcohol problem and that when you found out about the awful lies your ex-wife was spreading about you, you went on a binge.”

Denial roared in CJ’s mind. He didn’t want to do that. “I don’t want to hurt Garrett and that’s what would happen if I lied.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to hurt him, nor the last. Garrett’s a big boy, CJ. He’d deal with it.” Kasey studied him. “My brother loves you, but he understands all the pressure society puts on people. Not just on those who are gay. If there is any sort of difference about you, people tend to need a really good excuse to accept you. He wouldn’t blame you.”

CJ closed his eyes. Garrett wouldn’t blame him if he chose to walk away from him, but CJ would blame himself for not having the courage to face the truth and live it.

“I don’t have any options.”

“Not true. There are always options. Every problem has several solutions. Some more realistic than others, but there you go. No one ever said we had to be happy with the choices we’re given.”

Kasey went to the mini refrigerator in the corner of Gram’s office, pulled out a bottle of water and tossed it to CJ.

“Why did you decide to come out? You could have just laughed off Roscoe’s comments as jealousy. What gave you the courage to come out when you still have a long career ahead of you?”

Chuckling, Kasey shook his head. “It had nothing to do with courage. I never once wanted to be a trailblazer in gay rights. All I could think about is that I was tired of being someone I wasn’t. I wasn’t willing to deny what Gram meant to me. I’m not naïve enough to believe everyone will accept me.”

CJ glanced at Kasey’s black eye. “Had that point beaten into you, huh?”

The other man touched the edge of the bruise and winked. “Takes me a few punches to figure out some guy doesn’t like me.”

“Then why do it? Why keep playing basketball when you know that this whole gay issue isn’t going to blow over any time soon?”

“I love basketball and it’s the only thing I’m good at. I don’t see why I can’t play basketball and love Gram at the same time.” Kasey started to pace. “I mean, it’s my life, damn it. I have the right to do what I want with it as long as I’m not hurting anyone.”

“For what it’s worth, I feel the same way.” CJ gripped Kasey’s arm in his hand as the man went past him. “Don’t get worked up. You need to be calm for the reporters. James will have my balls if you get upset.”

Kasey stopped and took a deep breath. CJ handed him his water bottle.

“I’m glad that so far you’re able to have both of your loves in your life. It wouldn’t work for me. Garrett deserves a partner he can be seen with. I don’t think I could go back to the way things used to be, Kasey. I wouldn’t be happy driving anymore if there wasn’t someone waiting for me. Someone I didn’t have to think about before I kissed them.”

A knock sounded on the door and Kasey headed for it.

He opened the door and the young auburn haired waiter from last night was standing there.

“They ready for us, Jess?”

“Yes, Mr. Johnson. Your brother’s out there already.” The kid’s smile was bright with a hint of sadness along the edges.

Turning, Kasey winked at CJ. “Let’s go shake up the news.”

It was time to stop worrying about everyone else and start living his life. By giving up racing, he lost something important to him, but by loving Garrett, he gained someone even more valuable to his heart and soul. CJ followed Kasey out into the hallway. When they entered the other room, his gaze went right to Garrett. His lover held out his hand and CJ took it without thinking about the other people in the room. There would be no more lies.

About the Author

To learn more about T.A. Chase please visit www.tachase.com. Send an e-mail to chase.ta@gmail.com.

Look for these titles by T.A. Chase

Now Available:

 

Out of Bounds

Bound by Love

Can a sexy nightclub owner convince an all star basketball player to risk it all?

 

Out of Bounds

© 2008 T.A. Chase

 

Professional basketball player Kasey Johnson makes a point of keeping his sexual preference under guard and out of the public eye. Empty, off-season flings are all he can look forward to until he retires. He figures his secret is safe—until he meets Ingram Fletcher, a nightclub owner who ignites a passionate inferno in his body.

Gram has lusted after Kasey ever since the long, tall basketball player was traded to Phoenix a year ago. But with Kasey’s twin brother running interference, up until now Gram’s been unsure if it’s safe to make a play. Then some incidental contact in the crowded club leads to a kiss that starts Gram wondering if a relationship is possible—now, and beyond March Madness.

A romantic weekend together answers that question. Now the only one remaining is if Kasey is ready make a fast break out of his comfort zone.

Warning: This title contains explicit sex, graphic language, nekkid man love, creative usage of chocolate, whipped cream and strawberries.

 

Enjoy the following excerpt for Out of Bounds:

“Garrett Johnson just arrived, boss.”

Ingram Fletcher turned from his study of the security cameras to face his club’s manager, Bo. “You know what to do. Clear out the V.I.P. room and make sure you put Tim and Roger in there as waiters. Cecil and Alex can be security.”

He fought back the surge of anticipation rushing to his groin. Trying to keep a casual tone in his voice, he asked, “Did his brother come with him?”

Bo’s black eyes gleamed with understanding. “Yes, he did. The team got back from their road trip this afternoon, I believe.”

Gram grunted. “Go get everything ready.”

Bo nodded with a smirk and left. Gram shook his head. That was the problem with hiring his best friend as manager of his club. The man knew him too well. He couldn’t hide his interest in Kasey Johnson from Bo. Moving to the control panel, he brought up the camera covering the V.I.P. lounge.

There he was. Kasey Johnson stood head and shoulders above the other members of his brother’s party. His spiky blond hair glowed under the dim lights. Gram knew how Kasey’s green eyes held a mischievous sparkle not many people got to see. It was only in the presence of his twin brother, Garrett, Kasey let his true personality show. Gram adjusted his erection in his jeans, trying to find more room. Something about the younger man turned Gram on to the point where he’d have to go to his office and jerk off sometime during the night. It’d been a while since he’d met any man who could do that to him.

Kasey glanced around the room and Gram knew the blond was looking for him. Every time Garrett dragged Kasey to Liverpool, Gram made it a point to go and talk to the basketball star. He didn’t know if Kasey shared his brother’s sexual preferences. Gram wouldn’t push him if Kasey wasn’t ready to come out or if the man was as straight as his brother was queer. He enjoyed their friendship while wishing he’d get some sign of which side Kasey played on. Then maybe he could get started fulfilling his fantasies or finding some other gorgeous man to take Kasey’s place.

Gram gave his cock a thump, hoping the pain would get it to behave and settle down. Thank God the room was dark, so Kasey wouldn’t be able to see the hard-on tenting his jeans. His hand scraped over his chin and he frowned. He needed a shave. Shit. He was acting stupid. Kasey didn’t care whether he’d shaved or not, and it wasn’t like he’d have to worry about marking the guy’s face up with his beard.

“Get over yourself,” he muttered as he headed out of the security office and toward the V.I.P. lounge.

Gram nodded to employees and regular customers as he weaved his way around the dance floor and up the three steps that raised the V.I.P. lounge above the rest of the crowd. Cecil and Alex, the security guards, unhooked the velvet rope and he slid in, trying not to search out Kasey.

The V.I.P. lounge at Liverpool was furnished with large couches and low tables. The fabrics were velvet, silk and satin. Leather trimmed chairs were scattered around as well. There was a private bar and bartender, serving up the special guest’s favorite drinks. Usually Gram had more warning that a V.I.P. was coming and he stocked the bar, but he knew Garrett wouldn’t hassle him. For all his flamboyant antics, Garrett Johnson was pretty down-to-earth. Maybe Kasey helped keep his brother from getting an inflated ego. Though Gram admitted to himself that if Garrett wasn’t in a mostly committed relationship and if Gram wasn’t hung up on the man’s brother, he would have made a play for the actor a long time ago.

There was a small, intimate dance floor in the lounge if the clients didn’t feel like heading out to the crowded one on the lower level. He saw several of the hangers-on who followed Garrett around, already dancing and drinking up a storm. A voluptuous brunette wiggled up to Gram and gave him a hug.

“It’s great to see you, Gram.” She kissed his cheek and winked.

“Tina. How are you?” He kissed her back while keeping a discrete eye out for one tall blond.

“I’m fine and Kasey’s in the back on the couch. Garrett dragged him out when all he wanted to do was crash.”

He flushed. Maybe he hadn’t been as subtle about his interest as he thought. “Am I that obvious?”

“No, I’m observant. You usually don’t make an appearance to greet us until later in the night when it’s just us and Garrett. I’ve seen you smile at Kasey. You like him.” Tina’s dark eyes were serious as her whispered words reached his ears under the driving dance music.

“Yes, I do.” He didn’t see the need to deny it. “But I’m not making a move if he isn’t into the scene, sweetheart. No need to hurt either of us.”

She gave him a bright grin and another smile. “I think you might be surprised.”

Frowning, he watched her walk away. What did her comment mean? Gram didn’t get a chance to think about it before he was caught in a tight hug.

“Gram, love, I’m thrilled you came down to say hi.” Garrett smiled at him.

Unlike Kasey’s smile, Garrett’s was bright and practiced. It was patently false for the most part, except this time Gram could see it reached his eyes.

“Had to say hello to my best client.” He waved a hand around at the milling throng of people. “You’re the only person I know who can throw an impromptu party and still manage to round up hundreds of people.”

Garrett leaned in, pressing his lips to Gram’s ear. “I don’t know who half of them are.”

Gram pulled back, searching Garrett’s face. “Do you want me to get rid of the crashers?”

He would. He prided himself on being able to give any client what he or she was looking for. A good time without being bothered by fans.

Garrett shook his head, eyes gleaming. “No. Might find someone interesting in the crowd.”

Garrett’s green eyes were a brighter shade than Kasey’s and more able to hide what the actor was thinking. Gram couldn’t tell if Garrett was looking or simply trying to get a rise out of him.

“Okay. Be careful and remember, let me or Bo know if you want the lounge cleared out.”

“Will do, man.” A sincere smile blossomed on Garrett’s face. “Kasey’s hiding in the back.”

“Fuck. Have I been that fucking obvious?” He glared at Garrett.

Garrett chuckled. “Not really. You prefer to talk to him instead of me. Can’t blame you. He’s far more interesting than I am.”

“Maybe I like the fact he’s a little less sure of himself,” Gram mumbled.

Garrett brushed a kiss over Gram’s cheek and murmured, “Go talk to him. You’ll have to approach him. He won’t take a chance.”

“Thanks.” Gram couldn’t figure out why everyone was giving him advice and hints. Was something going on he didn’t know about? He thought he’d been more subtle in his attraction to Kasey. He hoped it hadn’t caused the younger man any embarrassment.

Making his way to the back, he grabbed a bottle of water from Tim as the young waiter went by. Gram took a swig, trying to wet his dry mouth. His mind raced. Should he make a move and see how Kasey reacted, or should he keep their relationship the same as always and not risk ruining it?

He stopped and smiled. Kasey sat, curled up in the corner of the couch. His blond head lay on the back cushion, and the young man was sound asleep. Kasey’s body was mostly made up of his legs. There had been more than one night Gram had fallen asleep and dreamed about them wrapped around his waist as he rode Kasey’s tight ass. Swallowing a moan, Gram sat down next to Kasey and placed his hand on the knee closest to him.

Two cowboys fall in love. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.

 

Bound by Love

© 2008 T.A. Chase

 

Tyler Newsome is heading home to the Lazy N, tired of the rodeo and tired of always being his charismatic twin’s shadow. It’s time he gets a life of his own—and maybe the man he’s always dreamed of, too.

Ren Alston’s always been attracted to Tyler, but never made a move because of his own mental and emotional baggage. But after years spent taming his demons and gaining control in every aspect of his life, Ren sees the younger man’s return as a sign of good things to come.

But first, they have to deal with Tyler’s twin, past indiscretions and Ren’s brothers. Will these cowboys manage to build a strong foundation of trust and love? Or will their problems be too much for them?

Warning: Explicit manlove. Hot naked cowboys, caramel sauce, spanking, whipping and a new twist on the old fashioned roll in the ray.

 

Enjoy the following excerpt for Bound by Love:

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

Tyler turned to see JT glaring at him. Tyler climbed out of the trailer, patting Gonzo on the hip as he went by.

“I’m going home, JT.” He closed the back end and made his way to the truck.

“You’re fucking kidding me, aren’t you? You can’t quit on me.”

JT grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Tyler stared into hazel eyes and a face he knew as well as his own. Anger gleamed in those eyes.

“I don’t want to do this anymore, JT. I’m going home to help Dad with the ranch.” Tyler met his twin’s gaze.

“So you’re the good son. Going home to bury yourself at that God-forsaken ranch. What happened to all that talk about getting away from that podunk town?” JT’s chin jutted out.

“It has nothing to do with being a good son. Dad doesn’t care about that stuff.” He tugged off his hat and shoved his fingers through his hair. “JT, I’m tired. I’m not as good as you. It’s time for me to admit that and let some other kid get his chance. Besides, you don’t need me.”

JT shrugged. “True.”

His tone was casual, but it didn’t hide JT’s nervousness. Tyler knew his brother wasn’t sure how he’d handle dealing with situations on his own. Tyler usually dealt with the entry fees, the horses and the bills while JT took the praise.

“Why are you taking Gonzo?”

“You hate that horse and he’d never work for you. I figured you’d be hooking up with that blond calf roper. Bitsy can ride with his horse.” He settled his hat back on and held out a hand. “I’ll see you when you come home at the end of the season.”

“I know why you’re really going back home, Tyler.”

JT’s smug comment made Tyler want to punch the man.

“If you hook up with him, you’re always going to wonder if he’s fucking you because you look like me.”

“Bastard.”

Tyler climbed into the cab, ignoring JT. He should have known his brother wouldn’t accept his leaving gracefully. He flung his hat upside down on the backseat and sighed. The decision to quit the rodeo hadn’t been easy, but after another conversation with Dad, he’d realized his heart was back at the Lazy N.

After starting the truck, he eased out of the fairgrounds. He’d left early enough to make it home in fourteen hours with a few stops along the way. He dialed his father’s cell phone.

“Newsome.”

“Hey, Dad.”

“Ty. You coming home?”

His father’s gruff voice made him smile.

“Just left the fairgrounds.” He accelerated onto the highway. “I should be home late tonight.”

“Good. I’ll leave the lights on.” A pause. “How’d JT take it?”

“He’s pissed. Probably would have loved to punch me, but I didn’t give him a chance to do it.” He grimaced.

“I’ll be expecting a call from him.” Dad sighed. “He’ll get over it, son. You’ve always been there for him. You gave up a lot to make JT happy, but it’s time for you to find what makes you happy.”

“What if what makes me happy is something you might not like?”

Shit. He’d never felt the urge to mention it to his father that he was gay before this. So why now? Cutting the ties with JT must have made him worried about losing his dad as well.

“Ty, you’re my son. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, will ever change that fact.” Dad’s voice was strong and sure.

The words and tone warmed Tyler. Dad just might mean it. “I have something to talk to you about when I get home.”

“That’s fine. Drive careful and I’ll see you when you get here.”

Hanging up, he set the phone in the cup holder. He set the cruise and settled back, happy to be heading home.

Immovable object? Meet the irresistible force.

 

Collision Course

© 2008 K.A. Mitchell

 

Paramedic Aaron Chase doesn’t have anything against love. It just comes with a lot of responsibility, like when he had to raise his sister and brothers after their drug-addicted mom took off for good. Now that the last one is off to college, Aaron’s anticipating enjoying life on his own terms. He certainly wasn’t expecting Joey Miller to accidentally drop into his life.

Joey’s sexy, funny and annoyingly optimistic, and his tendency to get into trouble keeps sending him Aaron’s way. Even the fact that Joey works for the hated social work system isn’t reason enough to keep him out of Aaron’s bed.

Joey knows all about love. He’s fallen in it ten times—he thinks. It’s not that he can’t tell the difference between sex and love. All that experience has to count for something, right? With Aaron it’s different. Maybe because there’s something to fight for.

This time Joey’s fallen for good. He’s not going to let number eleven get away.

 

Warning: This love story may overheat readers or the devices used to read it. Explicit male/male sex scenes involving extra penetration, toys, and spanking.

 

Enjoy the following excerpt for Collision Course:

They passed a dark storefront, deep inset door, and Aaron grabbed Joey’s hand, pulling him off the street. “What about here?”

Joey leaned back against the opposite wall and shrugged again. “Go ahead.” His fingers undid the top button on his jeans.

Aaron almost called his bluff—certain it was a bluff—even taking last night into consideration, Joey didn’t seem like the type for public sex. And this was too public even for Aaron. Especially considering that anyone from the bar might walk past and see him on his knees which—no.

“C’mon.” He pulled Joey onto the sidewalk again. Another block and the bike gleamed even in the humid night. “Ever ridden before?”

“Yes.” Joey’s voice was soft.

“Do not make me put my bike down.”

“I won’t. I have— Shit, a Ducati Sport Classic?”

Joey’s voice had the proper reverence. So what if even used the bike had cost more than any car Aaron’d had to take the kids to doctor’s appointments. The fucker was gorgeous and Aaron knew it. And so did Joey.

He unlocked the back case, took out his helmet and a towel, and began to wipe down the seat. Joey was still staring.

“It won’t bite.” Aaron picked up his helmet.

“God, I’d love to, but you only have one helmet.”

“No law in Florida.” He tossed Joey the helmet and straddled the bike.

Joey pulled the helmet on and climbed behind him, easy, settled. Aaron snuck a backward glance. Joey’s hands rested on his thighs, relaxed. After tightening the band holding his hair off his face, Aaron started the bike.

“Are you sure you don’t need the helmet?”

“You promise not to dump us and we’ll be fine,” Aaron yelled back. “Besides, if my brains go splat the kids get lots of insurance money.”

“Kids?”

Aaron laughed at the shock in Joey’s voice as they roared away from the curb. He was cautious on the first corner, but Joey leaned with him and the bike, not fighting it at all. He took the next one faster. Smooth sway, Joey following the lean like he was part of the bike. They stopped at a light. Four minutes, and they’d be on his bed and fucking, but he wanted to keep sharing this with Joey. The kids hadn’t liked to ride, even Dylan at his most rebellious never tried to steal the old bike Aaron’d had then. Tonight he might eat some bugs without the face shield, but… He cranked his head around. “Want to ride some more?”

“Yeah.”

The bed would be there when they got there. Reaching back for Joey’s hand, Aaron slid it around his waist. “Hold on.”

Joey wrapped both his arms around Aaron, under his jacket, a band of hard heat against the thin cotton of his T-shirt. The bike flew up the ramp, and Aaron took them over the river, Joey’s wow just audible over the wind in his ears. Jax was pretty at night, the bridges that crisscrossed the St. John’s lit up with yellow, blue and purple lights. Dark hid the poor parts, the rundown industrial sections, the graffitied, trashed parks.

Aaron zipped up Route 17, gunning the bike through the curves along the inlet, Joey pressed hot and tight to his back. It might as well have been public sex, the buzz of the bike on his balls, five feet seven inches of hot man draped over his back, teasing fingers stroking from his nipples to his navel on the straightaways. Aaron wasn’t the only one hard when he turned off down a side road into the state park. The dick poking his back was substantial enough to be out of proportion on Joey’s frame. Sue him, Aaron had been more interested in the heat of that ass and mouth last night.

After Aaron kicked the stand down, Joey swung off, stepping away into the dunes. With cloud cover, it was dark enough out here that after a few seconds Joey was almost invisible, even with his Tweety Bird hair.

Aaron followed. Joey stopped and flashed white teeth as he smiled. “Here?”

“I’m not too big on sand rash. I’ll take you back to my bed.”

Joey was smiling as if he knew something Aaron didn’t. Snagging the belt loop of his jeans, Joey tugged him close again. “Really want to wait?”

Aaron did. He wanted Joey in his bed, stretched out so he could get at every bit of skin, drag those husky moans out of his throat, fall asleep to the smell of sex and sweat on Joey’s warm skin, wake up and bury his morning hard-on back in Joey’s tight ass.

But Joey’s hand was already skimming the front of Aaron’s jeans, stroking him through the denim, and there was no way he could make it back to South Jacksonville without getting off first. Especially not when Joey increased the pressure before popping open Aaron’s fly. Despite the wind on the long ride, Joey’s hand was hot when it latched onto Aaron’s dick, milking a drop of precome from the tip to slick the way back down to his balls. Aaron tipped his head back and let Joey work him for a minute, anticipation tingling through every nerve. Joey’s hand was hard-edged and rough, maybe from surfing since he sure as hell didn’t get those calluses fucking up people’s lives with social-service paperwork. The calloused thumb worked over the head before Joey jacked him, quick, strong tugs that had Aaron rocking his hips.

He wanted Joey’s mouth again, but last night had been about taking. Tonight he wanted Joey to give it. He leaned in and kissed him, savoring the textures of Joey’s mouth, the rasp on the top, the glide on the bottom and the flick of the metal bar. When Aaron lifted his head, Joey gave a half smile and dropped smoothly to his knees on the grassy sand.

As Joey took the tip of Aaron’s dick between slick lips, Aaron met his dark gaze and whispered, “I’ll do you so good when we get back, swear it. Eat you ’til you come.”

 

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