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WADE'S WOMAN

Christina Carlisle

Š copyright August 2005, Christina Carlisle

Cover art by Kat Richards, Š copyright August 2005

ISBN 1-58608-592-1

New Concepts Publishing

Lake Park, GA 31636

CHAPTER ONE

Tara anxiously twisted her hands as she once again paced the floor of the spacious lounge. Up and down. Up and down. What the hell was she doing here, she thought for the umpteenth time? Alone, in this lonely house in the wilds of the High Country. I must be mad! I should never have accepted this job. What if this Doctor Wade doesn't return? What if he doesn't actually exist? She gave a nervous laugh as her imagination began to run riot and she thought about the predicament in which she had placed herself.

The telephone's shrill ring caused her to jump violently and she grabbed it, relief flooding through her. Thank God! Human contact . "Tara Mason speaking, she breathed into the receiver.

"Are you having an affair with my husband? The woman's voice was sharp and very much to the point.

"Pardon? Tara pressed the phone to her ear, her mind racing.

The voice continued, "Oh, don't worry too much. I've got used to all of Ryan's little dalliances over the years. The voice now sounded faintly amused.

Tara tightened her grip on the receiver. Ryan? That was Doctor Wade's first name, she was sure. Could this be his wife? Swallowing hard she said, "I'm sorry but you've made a dreadful mistake. I've just started here - I'm Doctor Wade's new nurse."

"I'm sure you are, the voice continued, still reflecting amusement but with an underlying thread of heavy sarcasm. "Well, Nurse whoever you are, just pass this message to my beloved husband, wherever he might be. Tell him I'm getting married again and I'm suing for sole custody of my children."

The phone slammed down in Tara's ear making her flinch. Damn, what have I walked into? She must be an ex-wife or she wouldn't be talking about marrying again! Tara's mental bitch-monitor was doing acrobats.

Turning, she stared around the comfortable room, made welcoming by the dancing reflections of the red flames from a cosy fire. It wasn't the opulence she was used to in her father's home, but it reflected the security she desperately sought. Tara had felt safe for the first time in ages when the housekeeper Molly, had welcomed her earlier.

But now she thought about the implications of the comments made by the doctor's ex-wife and almost guiltily began to plait her luxurious, waist-length hair winding it around her head in a no-nonsense coil. Frowning at her reflection in the mirror over the fire place, she delved into her bag for her face-hiding glasses. That was better. She had never considered herself a beauty, even though her doting father had told her so, but she definitely hid behind a protective appearance now. She looked down at her old favourite jumper, well-worn jeans and strong walking shoes. It was hardly the slick city image she was used to presenting to the world!

Tara clenched her hands, wondering about her new boss and his wife's attack on his character. She needed this job. She had little money left in her account and needed to stay hidden from Tony and be allowed to grieve for her father in peace.

She held her breath. The only sound was the ticking from the large clock on the mantelpiece and the occasional crackle of wood burning in the fire. Where was the mysterious Doctor Wade? The housekeeper's last words had been "Just make yourself at home, love. The doctor won't be long. But that was over two hours ago!

Tara was about to go to her bedroom and start unpacking when the front door burst open. She jumped as it slammed against the wall with a loud crash. A gust of wind whirled around her legs as she lifted her head to stare at the imposing man framed in the doorway. He wore a long cloak protecting him against the chill autumn air. In one arm he cradled a crying baby, while the other was wrapped around a whimpering child clinging to his thigh. The man glared at Tara, causing her to draw back in alarm.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house? The words were hurled at her with suspicion grimly etched across his stern, darkly handsome features. Tara hesitated as her eyes met his. This man was magnetic and dangerous.

"I'm Tara Mason. Tara's throat tightened. How ridiculous! She wasn't going to be intimidated by this overpowering man. "Your new nurse, she added firmly.

A look of astonishment crossed his face and then just as quickly disappeared as he moved forward with the children, kicking the door shut behind him.

"Take Ben, will you? he said, holding the screaming child out to her so that she automatically stepped forward, taking him in her arms. "He's hungry and tired, that's all, he explained, as if to apologise for the baby's yelling.

"Shall I make up a bottle for him? Tara smiled at the little girl who instantly hid behind her father's coat and then shyly peeked out.

"There's one ready in the fridge. I have to see to my daughter. She's running a temperature. He lifted the little girl in his arms and Tara noticed for the first time how flushed she was, her eyes over-bright with fever as she clung to her father's dark hair, her small hot cheek pressed against his.

Tara rocked Ben in her arms and his crying subsided as he chewed vigorously against his chubby fist. "It's all right. I'll see to Ben, she said, but Ryan was already walking along the passage to the bedroom area, the child still in his arms.

What an introduction. He had hardly acknowledged her presence. Tara shrugged. She couldn't blame him, since he was trying to cope with two tiny children who both needed attention, she thought as she fed and calmed the baby.

A cold shiver shot along Tara's spine as she felt his presence and looked up to see him studying her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I'm Ryan Wade, he said gruffly. "Sorry. I forgot you were coming today."

Tara looked at his brooding eyes and the tightly clenched jaw and her stomach tensed with a knot of excitement and fear. She gave a convulsive little swallow and shifted the now sleepy baby into a more comfortable position. When she replied she kept her voice calm and unemotional. "That's okay, Doctor Wade. How's your daughter?"

"I've put Emma to bed but she's not well. I'm just going to get my medical bag from the car."

Tara frowned. Ryan looked seriously worried, his eyes reflecting his concern, his face drawn. She gazed down at Ben, now contentedly asleep, and decided to settle him in the nursery, which she had noticed earlier at the end of the hall.

Ben barely stirred as she deftly changed his nappy and placed him in the cot, wrapping him in warm blankets. She could hear Ryan talking to Emma in the adjoining room. Hesitating, she wondered if she should go in. What a peculiar situation she was in, alone on a cold night in the High Country with a strange man and his children. Straightening her shoulders, she pushed open the door and entered the room. After all, she was trained as a paediatric nurse. She would offer her help.

Ryan was sitting on the edge of Emma's bed listening intently to her chest with his stethoscope. Emma whimpered as she clung to her father's arm.

"I feel sick, Daddy, she cried. Tara ran to the kitchen and grabbed a basin from the sink. She managed to reach Ryan's side in time to hold the basin for Emma who was immediately violently ill.

"It's all right, sweetheart, it's okay. Ryan comforted the frightened child, wiping her face with a damp facecloth as she lay back on the pillow.

Tara rinsed the basin in the bathroom and set it beside the bed. As she watched Ryan continued examining the child, murmuring encouragement. Tara felt a tremor run through her at Ryan's obvious loving concern.

"Do you know what it is? she said at last as Ryan replaced his stethoscope into his medical kit.

"A viral infection, by the look of it. Not too serious, thank God, he replied, winking at his daughter.

Tara nodded. The symptoms could appear extreme in small children.

Ryan stood up and looked directly at Tara as if seeing her for the first time since his dramatic entrance thirty minutes earlier. His eyes flicked over her and then rested on her mouth. Tara felt heat flood her cheeks as the atmosphere suddenly crackled with tension. "Stay with her, he said. "I'm going next door to the surgery to get some liquid paracetamol to settle her down."

Ryan didn't wait for Tara's reply but was gone, striding along the passage. She shivered with apprehension.

"My daddy's a doctor. He won't let anything happen to me. Emma's feverish eyes watched as Tara adjusted the bedclothes so that she didn't get overheated.

"Well, I'm a nurse and I've come here to help your daddy. So I hope you'll let me look after you too, Tara replied, giving her a warm smile.

Emma caught Tara's hand, her expression suddenly anxious. "You won't leave me like my mummy did, will you?"

Tara hesitated at the child's plaintive question. How could she reply? She didn't even know what was happening. Ryan's deep voice in response saved her from having to answer.

"Come on, chatterbox. Daddy has some medicine that will make you feel better. Open wide. Ryan spooned some paracetamol into Emma's mouth, which opened like a baby bird, her eyes resting trustingly on her father.

"Now, sleep young lady and I'll look in on you in the night."

"Okay. I love you, Daddy, she whispered.

"I love you too, sweetheart, he murmured in reply. Tara felt tears well in her eyes as Ryan gently kissed Emma goodnight and she drifted easily into sleep.

Then Ryan turned and she felt the full impact of his eyes on her. "I assume that Ben is asleep too so, we should have a talk now."

Tara nodded and followed Ryan into the kitchen. The sensation of familiarity between them was so powerful that she wondered if they had met before. She felt the piercing shaft of some unknown emotion as she stared at his dark, almost unkempt hair, suppressing the urge to smooth the wayward locks.

"Are you hungry? Molly, my housekeeper, normally leaves me a meal to heat up, he said, peering into the fridge.

"She said she'd cooked a casserole for us. Tara studied Ryan from beneath her lashes as he retrieved a casserole dish from the fridge and placed it in the microwave.

Dressed in a casual sweater and jeans, he appeared even taller than when she had first seen him. She guessed he must be in his mid to late thirties. Her gaze travelled over his shaggy hair, which hung down on his collar shadowing the lean, tanned face with its high, chiselled cheekbones and firm, sensual mouth. His deep brown eyes matched the aura of brooding stillness he exuded, and sadness was etched into the hard planes of his face.

The microwave pinged. Ryan removed the food and placed it on the table along with large dinner plates and cutlery. "Help yourself, he said, pulling a chair up beside her.

They ate in silence, the need to talk apparently forgotten. Tara's head drooped with tiredness and she abruptly pulled herself upright. It had been a long, exhausting day and her arrival not exactly welcoming.

"Where have you driven from? Ryan's question was polite enough, but Tara was puzzled that he didn't know.

"Melbourne. I arrived mid afternoon and your housekeeper let me in."

"Quite a change from the city to the High Country. Have you been here before?"

"No."

"We're going into the worst time of the year. It gets bloody cold up here, but it's awesomely beautiful."

Tara carefully replaced her knife and fork on the plate and taking a deep breath, decided she would have to take the initiative to sort things out. "Doctor Wade, you were expecting a fully trained nurse to arrive from Melbourne, weren't you?"

Ryan look startled at her blunt question. "Well, yes. But, as I said, I'd forgotten when she was coming."

Tara smiled, trying to disguise her feelings of apprehension. "Not she, me," she replied. "Tara Mason. The Nursing Agency recommended me to you and your partner. The practice manager interviewed me in Melbourne a month ago when you couldn't get away. I was appointed on a twelve-month contract signed by you. I'm a highly qualified senior paediatric nurse and here to start work tomorrow."

Tara stopped. Ryan was staring at her as if she was from another planet. She pressed a nervous hand to her stomach as the tension soared.

Ryan rubbed a hand over his jaw and then through his thick hair. "I apologise that I wasn't able to conduct your interview, but I'm afraid there's been a mistake."

He hesitated, and then dropped the bombshell. "Look, there's no easy way to say this. You shouldn't have been appointed."

Jeez! I'm handling this so badly! Ryan groaned inwardly as he saw Tara go pale with fear. How was he ever going to explain his last statement? He knew the moment he had seen her that it wouldn't work. A young woman sharing a house with him - what great gossip that would provide for the locals.

"I don't understand."

No, of course she didn't and Ryan couldn't blame her. He knew he was stepping into a minefield. He would have to tell her. "Tara, this has nothing to do with your qualifications. In fact, you're almost too well qualified for the position. He was tempted to put his hand on her arm for comfort but restrained himself.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Ryan watched her face tighten as she prepared to fight him. He couldn't decide at that moment whether she was very plain or extraordinarily beautiful. Her mouth was too wide and generous and her cheekbones too prominent in what was really an unremarkable face - except for her eyes. They were the lightest blue between sooty, dark lashes. The heavy framed glasses did nothing to disguise her stricken expression. He guessed her dark-brown severely-plaited hair was supposed to add to her no-nonsense demeanour. But it didn't hide the fragile bone structure and her long, elegant neck. Although, like him she wore a thick chunky sweater and jeans, he couldn't help but notice her slender wrists and thin, artistic hands clenched together now in her anxiety.

"How old are you? he asked.

"Twenty eight. Your colleagues met with me in Melbourne and employed me, so they know my age."

Faint colour rose in her cheeks. She was upset and he was the bastard who was causing it, but he had to sort this out. Silently he cursed his partner and manager. What the hell had they been thinking, placing Tara and him in this position?

"I know you could bring an unfair dismissal claim against me and cause problems with the Nurses Federation and God knows what else, but it is imperative that we reconsider your position. Ryan fidgeted with his knife aware that Tara was watching and waiting.

"You know that this is a live-in position with living expenses covered as perks of the job?"

"Yes."

"Well, the reason for this arrangement is that I need someone to keep an eye on my kids if I get called out in the evening or night, which happens quite often. It happened tonight. I had an emergency call and had to leave the kids with a neighbour and collect them later, which is why they were with me when I arrived home."

"I've been told the arrangements and I'm happy with them."

Ryan sighed. This was where he'd have to get up close and personal, metaphorically speaking. "What you don't know is that my last nurse was in her sixties. She retired a couple of weeks ago and moved interstate to care for her mother. He wanted to touch Tara's hand to ease her distress but realised how she might misinterpret the gesture. Instead he leaned forward resting his arms on the table.

"This is a small community, Tara, and very isolated from city life. There are around two thousand people that our practice takes care of throughout the region and it's a little like an English village, where people love to gossip. You, a young, attractive woman, would be living here alone with me."

The colour rose up her slim throat and he almost groaned aloud. God! She wasn't plain, she was beautiful!

He felt a strange hot emotion gathering in his chest as he continued to speak, conscious of her wide blue eyes watching him. "Look, there would be a lot of speculation about our relationship and I really don't want to subject you to that. It could get very uncomfortable. Ryan paused, relieved that he'd managed to explain things logically. Whether Tara, as a city girl, would accept it was another thing. She would probably consider it a great fuss about nothing.

"Is this to do with your wife? Her voice was tinged with sympathy and the question took Ryan completely off guard. The corner of his mouth twisted as he raised a dark eyebrow, his gaze narrowed on her face.

"What do you know about my wife?"

Tara hesitated. While Ryan had been speaking she had been agonising over the earlier phone call. It appeared to substantiate his comments about likely gossip. How could she possibly tell him what his wife had said? What a cruel message to give. She wondered if there was more to this situation than merely the concern of local gossip.

Squeezing her hands together, Tara decided she would have to explain. "She rang while you were out."

"And? His voice was quiet but she could sense the anger burning inside him.

"She asked if we were having an affair."

The words sounded crass and ridiculous and she felt another blush of embarrassment rising beneath her skin. Perhaps this handsome man did have affairs but that was none of her business, and certainly shouldn't make any difference to her staying in his home. They were both professional people.

Ryan, when he spoke, was calm and unemotional. "I'm sorry you were subjected to that. Carol left the children and me about a year ago. The divorce was finalised last week but she still has a couple of close women friends in the town that would have let her know you'd arrived. As I've mentioned, this is a small place and news spreads like wild fire."

"It doesn't concern me, Doctor Wade, Tara responded. "I'm here to do the job I've been trained for. On the strength of my contract with you I have resigned from the Royal Children's and moved from my home. Unless you at some time in the near future find my work unsatisfactory, then I think you should honour my contract."

Ryan looked stunned at Tara's outburst.

"Perhaps we'll wait until we've talked it through with the practice team tomorrow. We may need to give things a few days trial. There was a cautious tone to his voice.

A few days trial was better than nothing, Tara decided, but she was still worried about her position here. It wasn't exactly the security she'd been hoping for.

"You'd better call me Ryan. I don't think the gossips will mind that, he added, with a wry smile.

Tara didn't return his smile but instead steeled herself to relate the news that she was pretty sure would shatter him. "Your wife also asked me to pass on the message that she's getting married again and that ... that she intends to sue for custody of the children."

She shuddered at the stricken look on Ryan's face. She had met him only an hour ago and yet the love and tenderness he felt for his kids had shone from within him like a huge, bright light.

Ryan sat motionless with shock causing Tara to lightly touch his arm. "I'm so sorry, she murmured, wondering what else she could say.

He looked up and she was struck at the darkly, bitter expression on his face. "It's not your problem, he said, getting up abruptly and piling their dishes into the sink. "Do you want to go and unpack your things?"

CHAPTER TWO

On her first morning Tara had settled into her tiny office in the surgery and was studying the patient filing systems on the computer when the surgery door burst open and a frightened woman ran in carrying a small child in her arms.

"Quick, where's Doctor Wade? Billy can't breathe, she cried as Tara rushed forward to help her. The little boy, who appeared about eighteen months old, was breathing rapidly and his lips and tongue had a bluish tinge.

"I'll take Billy for a moment, Tara said, lifting the gasping child from his mother's shaking arms. "Lauren, can you call Ryan? Tell him it's urgent, she shouted over her shoulder to the office manager as she carried Billy into the main treatment room.

The next moment Ryan was by her side as she sat Billy on the examination couch, his mother hovering anxiously in the background. "Billy has signs of cyanosis, Tara reported as Ryan examined the distressed child.

"Set up that spacer behind you, will you Tara? Ryan was calm but moved quickly as he prepared a reliever drug, talking to the mother as he worked. "Maggie, it looks as if Billy is having a severe asthma attack, he said, taking the prepared spacer from Tara and placing the mask over Billy's face allowing the little boy to inhale the drug.

"But he doesn't suffer from asthma. He's never been like this before. Tears ran down Maggie's face as the shock and enormity of the situation took hold. Tara helped her to a chair and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders as Ryan continued to treat Billy.

"He's doing well, Ryan said. A few minutes later he removed the mask and examined Billy's chest. "Yes, he's more comfortable now, but I'd like him to spend a bit more time absorbing the reliever drug. Tara, would you take over while I talk to Maggie?"

Tara took Ryan's place, propping Billy against her as she continued the treatment. Billy closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, exhausted by the trauma.

Ryan pulled a chair next to Maggie and held her hand. "You say Billy's never had an attack before, not even a mild one?"

"No."

"Has he had a recent cold or perhaps an allergy to any foods that you know of?"

"No, none of those. Maggie clutched at Ryan's hand. "What's caused it? I'm so frightened it will happen again, she cried.

"It's okay, Maggie. You did the right thing rushing him here. One last question. Have you any pets at home?"

"We just bought a new kitten a few days ago. Billy loves her. Oh no! Did the kitten cause the attack?"

"It could be. I don't know for sure, he replied.

He leaned closer to Maggie to capture her attention. "I want to send Billy by ambulance to Marlston Hospital which, as you know, is sixty kilometres away. There's nothing to be scared of, but I will be a lot more comfortable if they admit Billy for a couple of days to keep an eye on him. They can conduct some allergy tests so they can find out exactly what triggered the attack."

Maggie pulled out her mobile phone. "I need to let my husband know, she said, her hands trembling as she dialled the number.

Ryan touched Tara's arm. "Are you okay for a few moments? I'm going to call the ambulance and then phone Marlston Emergency to explain about Billy."

"Yes, we'll be fine. I'll see Maggie and Billy into the ambulance and explain to the paramedics if you want to get back to your other patients."

Ryan nodded and then smiled, his face transformed from a rather grim, serious expression to one of warmth and humour and Tara's heart lifted.

"Some first morning, hey? he murmured before leaving the two women, closing the treatment door quietly behind him.

"Here, you hold Billy now. Tara placed the sleeping child in Maggie's arms, removing the spacer mask as she did so.

"Oh, he looks so much better, Maggie breathed, looking in wonder at Billy's peaceful little face. "That was the worst moment of my life. I don't know what I would have done if Doctor Wade hadn't been here."

Tara found herself agreeing with Maggie. Ryan had been so calm and reassuring in handling the emergency. Surely she had made the right choice in coming here? Surely he would let her stay?

Maggie looked up and smiled at Tara. "I heard you'd arrived, she said. "Everyone in town is talking about Doctor Wade's new woman."

* * * *

Tara looked up into the grinning face of the practice manager who had placed a cup of milky coffee on Tara's desk.

"Hey, you can stop for a cuppa, you know, Lauren said.

"Thanks, Lauren. I could do with this. I feel I've been here for three days rather than three hours. Tara returned Lauren's smile as she took a welcome sip of the hot liquid.

"You need to pace yourself. It will take you a few days to get used to everything, but you'll feel like a piece of the furniture in no time. Lauren sat on the edge of Tara's desk and bit into the large chunk of cake.

"Have you time to fill me in on the practice? Ryan wasn't very forthcoming this morning at breakfast."

Lauren made a funny grimace. "That sounds like Ryan. He's not very talkative at the best of times except with his patients, but you'll get used to him. He was probably worried about Emma."

Tara bit her bottom lip. Ryan had concentrated deeply as he had cared for his children that morning. He had examined them both for any symptoms of the viral infection, washed and dressed them, and then cooked their breakfast. Emma had been bright and talkative, as she had importantly shown Tara where the cereals and jams were kept.

"She seemed fine this morning, but Ryan decided to keep her out of school for today. Molly's looking after her and Ben."

"Yeah, Molly's a gem. And she dotes on Ryan's kids, hers being all grown up now."

Lauren Ray was a plump woman in her early forties who managed the practice like clockwork. She had travelled to Melbourne with Ryan's partner, Doctor David Lewis, to conduct the interviews for the practice nurse. Tara had taken to her instantly. She was already aware that David was Ryan's junior partner and had emigrated from Wales with his wife Michelle five years earlier. They had a six-year-old son Tom, the same age as Emma.

The final two members of the practice team were the receptionists. Fiona Morris was twenty-two, unmarried and, Tara noted, appeared to have a major crush on Ryan. She had only been with the practice for three months and was still learning the ropes. The other staff member, Jane Wilson, had the day off today.

"The practice is very well set up, Tara remarked, looking around her own office. It had facilities to examine patients, change dressings and administer tests. Before the trauma with Billy, she had been studying the database of patients, which was substantial.

"Yes. As you've seen we have three consulting rooms plus your office. Next door Ryan has set up a mini operating theatre for emergencies and day surgery work. Lauren sighed as she glanced around the waiting area. "The waiting room is only just adequate though. I guess the best thing is that Ryan's house is right next door, which makes it a lot easier for him."

"How long has he had the practice?"

"He set up here about three years ago and was determined to make it just the best he could. Did you know he was born in the High Country here at Glenroy Crossing?"

Tara shook her head. "No, I'm afraid I don't know much at all yet. But I'll learn."

"You'll be fine, Lauren replied. "David and I wouldn't have chosen you otherwise! Don't forget, there's the weekly practice meeting at one o'clock so you'll get a better idea of things then."

Tara continued to check through the database. There were quite a large number of patients who required home visits for various tests and dressings. She assumed she would be required to do them - if she was allowed to stay!

At one o'clock Lauren called her into the lunch room, which had a large table and a number of chairs so it could double as a meeting room. A small kitchen lead from it. Tara hungrily eyed the large platters of sandwiches that Lauren had placed in the middle of the table.

"Hi. How's your first morning?"

Tara turned to the smiling face of David Lewis. "Sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. It was my morning off. I'm on call tonight, he said.

"Great to see you again. Tara responded to David's natural warmth with a wide smile.

"Right. Let's get this meeting cracking. Ryan's tone was curt and David winked at Tara as the four sat around the table, leaving Fiona to look after the reception.

Tara made notes for herself in between munching sandwiches with the others. Ryan discussed various patients and the treatments they had received. She was impressed with the management of patients and particularly with the input of David and Lauren. Altogether, they made quite a team.

"Dave, you take surgery this afternoon, as usual. I'd like to drive Tara over to Marlston so that she can meet the key staff we deal with there and also get the lie of the surrounding district. Tomorrow morning we'll make a few house calls and I'll introduce Tara to some of the locals."

The others nodded in agreement and didn't appear to see anything amiss but Ryan's voice sounded abrupt and tense. Tara was relieved when the meeting showed signs of closing.

Lauren began to clear the remaining sandwiches when Ryan gestured for her to sit down again.

"Before we finish I would like to mention something which is personal but I know you will treat in confidence."

The three stared at him. Ryan's face was pale and strained as he said "I've received written notification today, which confirms a phone call Tara received from my ex-wife yesterday. Carol is re-marrying and intends to seek custody of Emma and Ben."

The sudden silence was palpable. "I want you to know that things could get very nasty. I understand if we go to court Carol will produce witnesses to supposedly prove that I'm too busy to care for the children properly, that I've had a number of affairs during our marriage and I'm not a fit father. He looked at Tara's still face. His eyes met hers for what seemed an age. "She is also going to claim that Tara and I are in the middle of an affair."

There was an audible gasp from the other two as Ryan stood up, a look of finality on his tightly drawn features. "So, as I said last night Tara, you may wish to review any decision about staying here because I can assure you all, I intend to fight Carol to the Supreme Court, if I have to. She is not going to take my kids and that's final."

Both David and Lauren instantly pledged their support for Ryan, their concern very real and genuine as they expressed their horror at the situation.

While Tara listened to them she wondered about Carol's accusations. Yes, she was sure he was busy. Perhaps he'd had affairs, or was even involved with someone now. But why was Carol throwing Tara's name around, for heaven's sake? Because she was living under the same roof as her ex-husband?

She was confused as she looked blankly at the others and then realised that Ryan had asked her a question. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, perhaps you and I can discuss this further on the trip into Marlston? Ryan repeated patiently.

"Yes, of course. Tara picked up her notes as they all rose from the table, Ryan and David returning to their rooms to attend to more patients.

"I'm so sorry, love. Lauren's expression was full of compassion as she patted Tara's arm. "We didn't dream Carol would cause this sort of problem and that you'd walk into the middle of it. I hope you don't decide to leave."

Tara studied Lauren's earnest face and found herself reassuring the older woman. "Don't worry. I'll talk it through with Ryan this afternoon. I'm sure things can be sorted out, she said.

Lauren made a tutting noise of exasperation. "You don't know Carol Wade, she replied. "She's a monster!"

* * * *

"Seatbelt fastened?"

"Yes, thanks. Tara shifted in the comfortable seat of Ryan's four-wheel drive. As he pulled away from the surgery she wondered how she would cope with being so close to him for the next few hours. She felt like a schoolgirl with all the fears, dreads and anticipation of a first date.

"It takes about an hour to get into Marlston, but it's a bit of a windy road. Still, it's not bad and allows us to transport most emergencies or hospital admissions in an acceptable time. Ryan swung the vehicle from the main street of the small town and on to the Marlston Road.

"What if there isn't time? Tara asked, beginning to relax a little and enjoying the distraction of the autumn sunshine reflecting on the green paddocks as the vehicle gathered speed through Australia's bushranger country.

"Then we cope and do the best we can. Glenroy Crossing is halfway between Marlston and the snow skiing fields so our patients are sometimes tourists staying at the ski lodges in the holiday season. Occasionally, but not too often, we're called to nasty skiing accidents and the weather can be treacherous. After all, this is the High Country and we're heading into winter."

Tara was silent as she contemplated Ryan's words. The High Country! How romantic it had sounded when she had seen the advertisement in the Melbourne paper a few weeks ago. Visions of drovers on horseback had come to mind, galloping across the plains, leaping raging rivers and plunging down mountainsides just as in her favourite movie "The Man from Snowy River. She had grasped the opportunity with both hands. A fresh start, a new life! The only trouble was she seemed to have walked into the middle of Ryan's nightmare and it was rapidly becoming a nightmare she was being forced to share.

"I supposed we should come to a decision about me staying before we go much further? Tara was pleased that she sounded so controlled. The one thing she didn't want Ryan to know was how disturbed she was that he might not want her in the job. Surely they could come to some sort of understanding?

"You're right. There's a roadhouse five minutes from here. We'll have a coffee and talk this through before we reach Marlston. I don't want to introduce you to staff and patients at the hospital if we decide that you're leaving tomorrow."

Tara's spirits plummeted. He sounded as though it was a foregone conclusion that she would need to leave, and she knew with all her heart that she wanted to stay. Everything about the job was appealing despite the comments from Ryan's former wife. She needed time to sort herself out. She needed a place to hide!

Tara glanced around. There was only one other couple in the cafe area of the roadhouse and Ryan had chosen to sit well away from them so they were quite private. He placed a coffee on the table in front of Tara and took the chair opposite.

"I'm not going to bore you by giving you a blow by blow history of my marriage. Tara watched Ryan's mouth tighten and lowered her eyes. This was ludicrous. She could see he was uncomfortable and yet obviously felt that he owed it to her to at least expand on his explanation of the previous day.

"Suffice to say our marriage wasn't happy. Carol's home is in Sydney where we met and married ten years ago when I was at med school. I'd never made a secret of the fact that if I could get my qualifications in general practice, I wanted to settle in Glenroy Crossing where I was born. We came back here when Emma was three."

"Didn't Carol like it here?"

"At first she was okay, but it was only a matter of a few months before she changed and decided she hated the place. Then she became pregnant with Ben and things settled down for a while. But three months after he was born, she said she was returning to Sydney permanently."

Ryan stirred his coffee absently and Tara watched some grains floating against the rim of the cup.

"You didn't consider returning to Sydney?"

"No. And I'd rather not go into the details of why."

Tara stared into his moody, dark eyes. Did he have a lover here? Is that why he wouldn't go with his wife?

"Can I ask why Carol didn't take the children with her? After all, Ben is so young. Tara frowned at the thought of leaving such precious little children.

"It's a complex situation. Once again Ryan was only prepared to give Tara minimal information. "At that time she didn't want the kids - now she does. God knows why. I assume it's because she's getting married again and feels able to provide a happy family life for them. She knows I won't let go without a fight, so I'm afraid things are going to get nasty."

"But how could she say we are having an affair if I've only just arrived? I don't get it."

Ryan leaned back in his chair, the corners of his sensual mouth curling into a sad smile. "A few months ago I was in Melbourne on a GP Refresher Course at the Royal Children's. The letter from Carol's lawyer today implied that we had met there and I was so besotted with you that I sacked my existing nurse so I could bring you here and we could continue our affair."

Tara gasped at the sheer audacity of such a statement. Ryan was right. This was going to be a fight. She leaned forward.

"Doctor Wade, can I ask if you have had affairs?"

"It's Ryan and no, you can't ask."

Tara hesitated. She knew her question had been very intrusive but she needed to know. His refusal to answer told its own story.

"I won't blame you if you don't want to stay, Tara, Ryan continued. "Your youth, our sharing a house, our inevitable closeness in working together, is all ammunition for Carol in gaining custody of the kids and from your point of view, would be harmful to your reputation."

"Did David and Lauren realise that this could happen?"

"They wouldn't have known about Carol wanting custody because we haven't heard from her in months. But they were aware that the living arrangements could be awkward. I have spoken to David and he said both he and Lauren thought your experience as a paediatric nurse was really important for both the children's sake and mine and that any potential problems could be overcome. They very much want you to stay."

"Perhaps I can rent a room in the town somewhere?"

"You could. But I'm afraid that won't suit me. As the position description said this role is more than just a nurse. It's also part nanny, part baby sitter. I need someone to live in that I can trust to look after Emma and Ben. My housekeeper Molly is fantastic with them and she covers the days but has her own family to go home to. I can't afford a new nurse and a live-in baby sitter and that's why I've made your salary so generous because of the added responsibility. Am I making sense?"

Ryan pushed a hand through his hair in a sudden gesture of frustration and Tara fought the urge to stroke his lean cheek in an endeavour to give him comfort. This man was fighting not just for his livelihood but for the two people he loved most in the entire world - his children.

"Will it be detrimental to your case if I stay?"

"Everything will be detrimental to the case, but at the end of the day they will have to prove that I'm a bad father."

Tara smiled. "And you're not, she said with conviction.

"No. Ryan returned her smile and this time Tara's heart gave a great leap. No wonder there was so much gossip about Ryan. He was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen!

She swallowed, feeling a lump rise in her throat. "Thanks for telling me all of this - I know how hard it must be to tell a stranger such private matters. I'd like to stay."

There was silence as Ryan absorbed her words. Then he surprised Tara by catching her slender hand in his and stroking long fingers over her delicate skin. "Thank you, he said softly. "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were a street fighter, Tara Mason."

CHAPTER THREE

"It's a much larger hospital than I realised, Tara remarked as Ryan swung the vehicle into the parking spot in front of Marlston Hospital marked "Doctors Only."

"Well, it's the regional base and covers a substantial area. There's a hundred beds and reasonable specialist services, with the big ones being cardiology, orthopaedics and aged and disability."

He gave her a sideways glance as he switched off the engine. "You're sure about staying, Tara?"

Hearing the doubt in his voice she turned to him giving a dazzling smile. No matter what the outcome, she had made her decision. There was no going back. "I'm sure. And don't worry about me letting you down because I won't. That's not my style."

Ryan nodded. Getting from the vehicle, he walked around and opened her door before Tara could gather her thoughts. She hesitated before placing her hand in his outstretched one so he could help her down. Their eyes met and held and Tara's heart began to race. Oh, please don't let this be happening. Please don't let me be attracted to him.

"I'm fine, thanks, she said briskly, pushing her glasses further up her nose as she moved hastily away, placing a safe distance between them.

Ryan retrieved his medical bag and slammed the car door. He has no idea of the effect he has on women . She watched him shrug on his jacket. Or did he? Perhaps having affairs was as natural as breathing to him?

She walked beside him through the entrance and along the main corridor following the signs to the emergency department. There she met the Director and Nursing Unit Head, both of whom greeted her warmly. They were held up for some time as Ryan spoke with many of the staff and a couple of the patients in the waiting area. He obviously knew them all very well.

Tara marvelled at the change in Ryan's character, from the brooding stillness she had seen earlier to the laughing, attractive man that everyone there seemed to gravitate towards.

"Come on, Tara. I want to check on three of our patients and I'll introduce you to the ward staff at the same time, he said, with a farewell wave to the emergency staff.

Tara followed him through a maze of corridors and into Ward 4C. "Joe Thomas is recovering from a coronary by-pass, he explained quietly as they stopped by an old gentleman's bed.

"Doc Wade! How ya going? Come to see if I'm still alive and kicking? Joe's craggy face lit up when he saw them.

Ryan laughed, squatting on the side of the bed after motioning Tara to sit in the chair next to Joe. "You don't need to tell me you're doing well, Joe. You look one hundred percent better than when I last saw you."

Joe gave a snort of indignation. "I'll be up and out of here in no time, mark my words, mate. He turned to stare at Tara. "And who's this lovely lady? Are you Doc Wade's new woman?"

Closing her mouth on an instant denial, Tara puzzled at this expression. Joe was the second person to use it. Was this how she would be known in the future? Wade's woman?

Ryan saved her from answering. "This is Tara Mason, my new nurse. You had better be nice to her, Joe, because she'll be the one who will be checking on you when you go home and making sure you're behaving yourself."

Joe cackled with delight. "Can't wait, he said, with a wicked grin at Tara who couldn't resist laughing in response.

"Now Joe, let's have a look at you. Ryan helped the old man undo his pyjama buttons to expose an expanse of dressing covering a long scar down the centre of his breast bone. Pulling on surgical gloves from the holder on the wall, Ryan carefully lifted the dressing and examined the scar.

"Not bad, Joe. Not bad at all, he smiled and then, disposing with the gloves, he checked Joe's chart clipped to the end of the bed. "Joe's observations are pretty good, considering all he's been through, he remarked to Tara. "We have an excellent cardiothoracic surgeon here but we get a bit frustrated when the patients don't help themselves."

Ryan turned to Joe with a stern expression. "Now, when you go home it's no smoking, light on the grog, walks every day and keep to the diet you'll be given. Tara and I will be checking on you."

The old man grinned again and caught hold of Tara's hand. "I don't want you around Doc; just visits from this pretty lady will keep me ol heart ticking."

Tara laughed as she patted Joe's arm. "Be prepared, Joe. In my last job they used to call me the dragon, so you'd better watch out."

She and Ryan left Joe in high spirits to visit Ryan's next patient, Lucy Granger. Ryan briefed Tara as they walked across to the private wing of the hospital.

"Lucy is fifteen and has suffered severe bouts of depression for the past two years. I referred her to a psychiatrist early in her treatment, but things don't appear to have gone well. Unfortunately, Lucy is depressed at just about everything but particularly about her body image, and that she thinks she isn't accepted by her school friends."

"Is she a manic depressive?"

"The psychiatrist seems to think so and has her on anti-depressants, but I suspect she throws them away. Anyway, last night she tried to OD by taking her mother's sleeping tablets and then panicked and called me. That's where I'd been when you arrived."

"I see. That might explain Ryan's angry and harassed expression when he had seen her. He'd been fighting to save a young girl's life.

"I got her to hospital in time but they had to pump her stomach. She's okay but probably feeling pretty sorry for herself."

Tara steeled herself as they entered Lucy's room. She was an attractive girl with long, blonde hair and startlingly blue eyes. When she saw Ryan she blushed scarlet, her eyes following him across the room as he moved to stand by her bed.

"Hi Lucy, this is my nurse, Tara Mason. Do you mind if she sits in while we have a chat? Ryan smiled at Lucy who nodded her agreement, her eyes still clinging to Ryan's face.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Wade. I didn't mean to do it. She plunged into an excitable explanation, holding on to Ryan's arm as she spoke.

Ryan reassured her, his hand touching her shining hair for a brief moment. "Lucy, you know this can't go on. You've everything to live for and your parents love you very much. They've been extremely worried about you."

Lucy hung her head. "I know. I don't want to hurt them. Please help me, Ryan."

Tara's eyes widened at the look of adoration on Lucy's face as she gazed up at Ryan. This young girl is besotted with him. Can't he see it?

"Your psychiatrist will help you through this, Lucy. He may suggest that you spend a little time at the Adolescent Clinic at Westmead Hospital."

Lucy's eyes instantly filled with tears. "I don't want to leave here, she cried, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Ryan sat in the chair next to the bed. "It will only be for a while and they'll help you to get better, he said his voice low and comforting. "You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie. Don't mess it up."

Lucy wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "I'll only go because you say so."

"Good girl. I knew you could do it. Ryan stood up.

"She's obsessed with you. Tara couldn't help the words that tumbled from her lips as they made their way to the children's ward to visit Billy and Maggie.

"Do you think I don't know that? Ryan's tone was blunt.

"Why don't you transfer her to another GP? Tara wasn't going to start her new job at the practice by being intimidated by the senior partner.

Ryan stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned to her. "I have already spoken to her parents and we're arranging to transfer her to a colleague of mine, here at Marlston."

Tara stared into his dark, glittering eyes. It was imperative that she cleared the air.

"Ryan, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but obviously as a newly divorced man you're in a vulnerable position with regard to your female patients."

Ryan looked tired and strained. "I'm well aware of my situation Tara, but thanks for reminding me. Part of your role will involve being in attendance at annual checkups for female patients and unless otherwise agreed, I'd like you to perform any pap smears required."

Tara could feel the colour rising in her face, but it wasn't because of what Ryan had asked. It was the sudden vision of him examining an attractive woman patient. Where were these thoughts coming from? He was a doctor and these intimacies meant nothing to him. And yet they might mean something to some of the women, which was why Ryan was setting these procedures in place.

"I understand, she replied, her voice subdued.

"As for living with me, we've been through the likely problems. Unless you've changed your mind, I guess we'll just have to cope with any fallout as it happens. Ryan was now brisk and business-like.

Tara's voice was thoughtful when she responded. "I'm sure the courts would let you keep the children if you were married and proved you were providing a family unit for them, Ryan. After all, Carol was the one who left them and I don't think the judge will take kindly to that."

"Well, I'm not married so I guess that's a big, black mark against me. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Of course, there is a way out."

Tara's eyes flicked to his face. "What?"

"We could marry. Ryan laughed.

"You are joking?"

Ryan shook his head in denial and then caught her arm, moving her to one side to allow three nurses to pass, all of them turning to stare curiously at them standing in the middle of the corridor so deeply in discussion.

"Come on. We'll go and see Maggie and Billy and then talk about this in the car."

Tara followed him to he children's ward where she half listened as Ryan met with Maggie and the specialist doctor treating Billy. Her mind was numb, shocked at Ryan's suggestion. How desperate he must be to consider asking such a thing. And yet to marry him would be the answer to her prayers. She would be able to stay here. She would have Ryan's protection - and his name .

"I don't think it will be too long before they find out what Billy's problem is, Ryan remarked as they made their way through the hospital towards the car park. "He's allergic to something and I wouldn't mind betting it's his new kitten which has triggered that attack. Unfortunately, it means he could be allergic to quite a few things."

Tara murmured agreement. She felt her nerves tensing like piano wires as she climbed into the vehicle. Ryan turned to face her, his arm resting along the back of the seat behind Tara's head.

"Now, let's talk. I'm sorry that I took you by surprise, Tara. I really only thought of it as you were talking about my situation with Carol."

"I realise that. I hardly think you had this idea in mind before I moved here. Her manner was matter-of-fact and suddenly it was important to him to convince her that he was serious.

"This could be part of the contract between us, he suggested. "We have a marriage that is a business arrangement in name only, for twelve months. This will help me to present to the courts a united, caring family unit for Emma and Ben."

"And what do I get out of it?"

"Security."

Tara frowned. "You'll need to expand on that. Are you talking about job security, or taking your name? What?"

Ryan watched her eyes behind her glasses, shadowed with deep secrets. Something was very wrong here. He neatly avoided her questions.

"Your qualifications show that you're a first class nurse and my practice needs you. I think you would provide a loving, stable background for Emma and Ben. Our marriage would stop any gossip about us."

Ryan felt the urge to laugh again. He couldn't believe that he was saying this - propositioning this woman. The idea was ludicrous and completely out of character for him and yet, still he continued digging himself more deeply into the hole he'd created.

"When the court case is finalised, and hopefully it will go in my favour, then we can get a quiet divorce and you can move on. His eyes were drawn to her lower lip and he watched her small, white teeth bite down in an attempt to stop it trembling. She was a lot more worked up than she was letting on. There was something she was hiding and he decided to investigate further.

"What are you running away from, Tara? Are you in trouble with the police?"

"No! Tara shook her head vigorously, a look of horror on her face.

"Then what? Is it man trouble?"

Her expression told him he'd struck gold but the sudden anger burning in him took him by surprise. Who was this guy and what had he done to Tara to make her so afraid?

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to explain the details. Suffice to say that I have left that life behind and I need a new start. I admit I need security - but, marriage? That's another thing!"

Ryan touched her arm. "I will make a happy home life for you, Tara. You won't regret marrying me."

"I'm sorry, Ryan. We don't even know each other. It would look very strange for you to marry your new nurse after knowing her for one day."

"But people could think we met in Melbourne when I was doing my refresher course. Carol already thinks that. Ryan watched her hands ball into tight fists of indecision as he made a last plea.

"No ... no, Ryan. I'm not into this sort of business contract as you call it. I'm sorry that you're in trouble, but please don't use me to sort out your problems. Besides, your children will become attached to me as a mother figure only to lose me when this marriage contract is terminated."

"That would happen anyway, even if we don't marry, Ryan shot back.

There was silence as their eyes locked. The more she refused his offer of marriage, the more determined he felt to pursue it. He studied the pale column of her throat and the too thin collarbones showing above the V-neckline of her jumper. Someone had hurt Tara, hurt her badly. He could see it now in her eyes raw with pain. Why hadn't he noticed it before? He must be blind. Why hadn't David and Lauren noticed it when they had interviewed her?

He had to admit it was ridiculous of him to come up with such an idea. He was letting Carol's threat to take the kids override his usual sound judgement. His stomach churned at the thought of never seeing his kids again.

He could see a glint of tears in her eyes and felt a terrible tenderness inside as he cupped her face with his hand. "Let's pretend we never had this conversation, he said quietly.

"I'm sorry I can't accept. The words held finality.

Ryan shrugged and turning started the vehicle. "Okay, time to get home. Molly will want to leave soon so I'll have to face two hungry children shouting for their tea."

"I'll help you. Tara turned away, looking out of the window.

Ryan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as they drove through the gathering dusk on the way to Glenroy Crossing. Tara had thrown him, to say the least. He couldn't blame her for rejecting the idea of marriage, but he couldn't get out of his mind that she was running away from serious trouble. He had enough on his plate without worrying about some irate boyfriend turning up on the doorstep. And yet, there was some sense in his proposition. The court would be more kindly disposed to him if he was married. But to have Tara as his wife - in name only? Of course, it wouldn't work. She was a very attractive woman. As it was, he could be making a mistake in having her live with him.

* * * *

"But, Daddy, I don't want to go to bed yet."

"You're going and that's that. It's getting late."

"Ben hasn't gone to bed yet. Emma's voice was indignant as she faced her father in her Harry Potter pyjamas, small hands firmly placed on her hips.

Tara turned her face to hide a smile as she continued to spoon egg custard into Ben's open mouth. Emma was a very determined little person.

"Ben's going to bed as soon as Tara finishes feeding him. Come on, sweetheart, you have school in the morning."

Emma's bottom lip began to quiver as Ryan held back a sigh of exasperation. "Will you read to me, Daddy?"

"Okay."

"Harry Potter?"

"Okay. Say goodnight to Tara and Ben."

Obediently Emma kissed Ben's dark curls and then placed her arms around Tara's neck, hugging her tightly. "I'm so glad you're here, she whispered, pressing her soft, rosebud lips against Tara's cheek.

Tara hugged her back, feeling a rush of love for the little girl. "So am I, she replied.

Ryan lifted Emma in his arms, rolling his eyes at Tara as he did so. "I'll be back, he growled in a fair impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Laughing, Tara turned her attention to Ben who was now treating her to huge grins showing off his new teeth. Tara grinned back. "Oh, you are such a beautiful boy, she cooed, lifting him clear of his high chair and cuddling him close.

As she sat by the fire to undress him, putting on his little nightshirt and pants, she wondered if every night would be like this. Ryan and she working together, sharing magical, special moments. She might have refused to marry him, but already she felt part of this family - Ryan's family.

It was all quiet from Emma's room as Tara put her small charge into his cot a half an hour later after allowing Ben the luxury of playing with his toy bricks on the hearth. She had watched him with a strange, fierce pride, not knowing why she should care so much and so quickly for these two beautiful children. Was it because their mother had deserted them? Or was it because they were Ryan's children and he was prepared to go into battle to keep them?

Ben's eyes were already starting to close as she stayed to watch him settle. She wondered why Ryan was so long. She was sure he would like to kiss his son good night.

Tara tiptoed along the passage. The house had been successfully converted from an old farmhouse and was spacious with five bedrooms and two bathrooms as well as large living areas. Tara considered herself fortunate to have one of the larger bedrooms and the use of her own bathroom, while Ryan shared the other with the children. Although big, it was also a warm, comfortable house. Tara knew that she could be happy here. She tentatively pushed open the door to Emma's room and stopped short at the sight that met her eyes.

Ryan lay fast asleep next to his daughter, both squashed on the narrow bed, the book he'd been reading propped on his chest. Emma was also asleep snuggled into Ryan's protective arm, one small hand clutching his thick knit pullover. Tara's eyes were drawn to Ryan's face, all the troubles of the day wiped from it, his lashes creating dark shadows on his cheeks and his sensual mouth relaxed in repose. She moved closer and studied the shape and sheer perfection of his lips. What would it feel like to have those lips touch hers, to feel them caressing her throat, her breasts?

She drew back, feeling heat burning through her body. Dear God, but I want him. Deep shame coursed through her. Ryan murmured something in his sleep and turned his head into the pillow, his hair falling across his forehead.

Reaching for the blanket on a nearby chair, Tara carefully removed the book and covered Ryan's long body, protecting him against the cooler air in the room.

She hurried outside and leaned against the passage wall, her heart pounding as if to burst. What an idiot I am! To be attracted to the first man I associate with after leaving Melbourne - and not just any man. It was her boss - the person she would have to spend almost every waking moment with. She cursed her vulnerability and vowed there and then not to let her feelings show. He must never know, particularly since he'd asked her to marry him. Tara groaned and hid her burning face in her hands.

* * * *

In the morning at breakfast, Ryan apologised for falling asleep while reading to Emma the previous night. "Put it down to sheer exhaustion, he laughed as he wiped Ben's sticky vegemite face and fingers.

"It's okay, Tara had replied. "At least you trusted me to look after Ben."

Ryan threw her an odd glance. "I trust you all right, was all he'd said, but it was enough to light a warm glow inside her.

Ryan and she were due to visit a couple of his patients that morning and her eyes revelled in the magnificent vista before them as Ryan swung the vehicle down a narrow, twisting road towards a cottage Tara could see nestled in the valley below. It was a sparkling, fresh morning but it was cold and Tara could feel the beginnings of winter in the chill air.

"Normally you'll have two days out a week to visit patients. Occasionally David or I will go with you. It's pretty straightforward and involves mostly our older patients requiring such things as dressing changes, tests, baths and injections and so on.

"There's an old couple that live in the cottage, Harry and Edna Norman. Neither of them is in the best of health but they have lived here all their married lives and refuse to move into town. Ryan gave the background of their health problems as he drove the last few metres to pull up outside the small, but neat cottage.

"Harry's the worst off. He has chronic type II diabetes and has to be monitored regularly."

"Can they drive to the surgery?"

"No. Harry had suffered from diabetes for a number of years before I diagnosed him when I set up practice here three years ago. His sight has gradually deteriorated and he is now legally blind. Edna has arthritis and doesn't drive. They have a son who visits occasionally and the neighbours are pretty good, but they both need regular health visits."

Ryan pushed open the squeaking door to the cottage. "We're here, Edna, he called loudly and then turned to Tara, his face close to hers. He was so near that she could see herself mirrored in his dark eyes. She stepped back afraid of what he might see reflected in hers. Anxiety? Longing? Lust? Tara pushed her glasses more firmly on to her nose, aware that her hand was trembling.

"I'll introduce you and let you take over for all the usual tests, he said quietly. "They're used to regular home visits by my nurse."

Tara drew a deep breath. It was an obvious thing for Ryan to suggest but she couldn't help thinking that this was her first big test with two of his patients and he'd be watching her every move.

"G'day, Ryan dear. How are you? Come in - I've put the kettle on. Edna, a tiny, frail lady well into her eighties, welcomed them and greeted Ryan like a long lost son. She hobbled ahead of them into the kitchen where Harry sat by the fire in a leather chair that had seen better days. Although the furnishings were sparse, everything was clean and tidy. Harry had a broad grin on his face as he peered at Ryan and then shook hands with Tara.

"We're glad to meet you, dear. Edna came bustling over carrying a huge teapot with a multicoloured cosy. "Harry's been a bloomin pain the last few days. He's got some sores on his legs and he keeps on about them."

Ryan exchanged a knowing glance with Tara as he placed a tray set with teacups and slices of fruitcake on the large kitchen table in front of them.

"I'll pour dear, Edna said. Tara and Ryan watched with a certain amount of apprehension as Edna grasped the teapot in her gnarled, swollen hands and poured the steaming liquid, filling the cups to the brim.

"Edna always believes in treating us to her homemade cake when we visit, Ryan explained giving Tara a broad wink.

"Thank you, Mrs. Norman. Tara quickly rescued the wobbling cup that Edna held out to her and rested it on her lap. How would the couple manage here in this isolated cottage during the harsh winter to come?

"Edna dear, call me Edna, the old lady responded. "You'd better take this too, dear. Harry's done a nice fresh sample this morning knowing you and Ryan were coming."

She pushed a sealed specimen bottle containing urine into Tara's hand and as her fingers automatically closed around it, Tara realised it was still very warm. Her shocked eyes met Ryan's who was struggling not to laugh and she felt her mouth curve into an answering smile as she managed to juggle the hot tea and urine sample, placing the bottle carefully into her medicine kit.

Tara washed her hands in the kitchen sink and then dutifully finished her tea and ate a piece of cake. Ryan continued to chat to Edna as Tara began her tests on Harry, asking him various questions as she went. His blood pressure was up substantially and she checked his medication. He was on quite a high dosage of Lopressor and she puzzled over the rise in his blood pressure.

While Ryan was talking, he was watching her closely. Tara shrugged. She was a good nurse and she knew what she was doing. She carefully drew blood from Harry's arm and placed it in a phial to be tested later for protein and kidney functions. She then tested his blood sugar, which was also high.

"Can I have a look at your legs and feet, Harry? Tara asked softly and the old man nodded, attempting to remove his slippers.

Tara put her hand on his. "It's all right. I'll do it. Her heart sank as she gently removed his socks. Both ankles were covered in ulcers with open sores, surrounded by scaly, purplish brown skin.

"How long have you had these sores, Harry?"

"I dunno. A few days."

"I've bathed them, Tara dear, but they're not getting any better, Edna piped up.

Tara looked around at Ryan. He reached into his medical kit and pulled on a pair of surgical gloves. He knelt beside Tara and together they examined the sores.

"They look like arterial ulcers, Tara said quietly to Ryan, holding Harry's legs so Ryan could see them more clearly.

"Yep. What was his blood pressure?

"One fifty over a hundred and ten, and his blood sugar was eighteen."

"Hmm. Ryan stood up and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "We've got a few problems here, mate, he said, his voice tinged with concern.

"What ya mean, Ryan? Edna said. "He's going to be okay, isn't he?"

"Harry, I think Tara would agree that it's better for you to go into hospital for a few days and bring the diabetes under control."

"No! I won't go! Harry's voice was loud and clear and very determined.

"It won't be for long. Perhaps Edna can stay with your niece in Marlston. Ryan turned to Edna for support.

"If he says he won't go, Ryan, then he won't. You know how obstinate he is. Edna gave Tara an apologetic smile. "He's always been like this, Tara dear. He won't leave his home, you know. He'd rather die in that old chair."

"I won't go! Harry repeated, his hands waving through the air in his agitation.

"All right, Harry. Calm down. Ryan patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Tara, can I speak to you outside?"

Tara had left her jacket on the back of her chair and she shivered in the cold morning air as they faced each other in the tiny garden. "Harry's also got a drawing pin, or some sort of pin in his foot, she explained. "He's obviously losing the nerve endings and can't feel anything sharp if he steps on it."

Ryan frowned. "He's definitely deteriorated quite badly. I wonder that Margaret didn't pick up on it."

"Margaret?"

"Yes, she was the nurse who you've replaced. She visited the Norman's at least once a week. Ryan kicked a small stone at his feet sending it skidding into the bushes.

"Jeez! This makes me so mad! Both Harry and Edna were handling his diabetes really well and now they've slipped back. And Edna's arthritis looks very painful, although she'd never admit it."

"Could you try again to persuade Harry to go to hospital?"

"No. It's useless. You'll find out in time how proud and obstinate the High Country people can be. Ryan's eyes traced the tops of the rugged hills surrounding the cottage. There was a low mist settling on the top of the peaks and he could see some bad weather coming in. His gaze returned to Tara, looking city smart in a fitted navy pullover and matching tailored slacks. On her feet she wore stylish low-heeled black boots.

It was the first time he'd really noticed how slender she was - too slender perhaps with a long, elegant body and almost boyish hips, although her breasts were full and rounded. To his astonishment his body hardened with the need to hold her, feel her body pressed against his, ready and wanting to be loved.

"What do you intend to do?"

Ryan pulled off his coat and wrapped it around her, his lustful longings turning into a wave of tenderness at how small and vulnerable she looked with the coat draped over her shoulders. Could she cope with what lay ahead? The long hours, the harsh weather and the sometimes dangerous situations that occurred were all part of living in the High Country. She was a city girl through and through and he was very afraid that they had all made a terrible mistake in employing her. But it was too late now. Perhaps she needed the added protection she would gain as his wife.

"Right. Here's what we're going to do. You apply the dressings to Harry's legs and feet. I'll give him a tetanus shot to bring him up to speed. I also put him on a course of antibiotics to make sure we counteract any infection. I'm going to increase his blood pressure medication and take it up to one hundred milligrams."

"What on-going nursing care can we give? Tara pulled Ryan's coat more closely around her and caught the faint whiff of his aftershave on the collar.

"They've got a diabetic specialist at Marlston who's a mate of mine. I'm going to ask him to check Harry over, including kidney and nerve functions. I'm also going to arrange for the diabetes educator to visit and take them both through the diabetic management again, particularly Edna, as the caregiver."

"What about general nursing care?"

"I can't really afford to lose you too often, but I want you to come out here every other day for the next ten days or so until those ulcers start to heal. You can also keep an eye on his general health."

"That's fine. Tara removed his coat and held it out to him. "We'd better go and tell them. She lowered her head, hiding the relief in her eyes. I don't care what I do, as long as you let me stay here with you.

They explained what was to happen and Tara carefully cleaned and dressed Harry's ulcers and the sore on the bottom of his foot. They left a much happier couple behind them. Ryan drove up the winding lane to the main road.

"I'm not sure that my car will withstand all these pot holes, Tara remarked. "It's a bit of an old bomb."

"Didn't Lauren tell you? The practice has another four-wheel drive vehicle especially for your use. A normal car would never be able to cope otherwise, particularly when the snow arrives."

"But I've never driven a four-wheel drive. Tara felt stunned.

"There's nothing to it; you just need a bit of practice. Here, change over with me and you can drive this one now."

Ryan stopped the vehicle and was around at Tara's side before she could protest. "Take it slowly and don't break suddenly or you'll slide, Ryan said, fastening his seatbelt.

Tara started the engine and nervously set it in gear. "I'm not sure this is a good idea, Ryan. Surely we're running very late now?"

Ryan grinned. "Yes, we are, but people expect doctors to be late. He undid his seatbelt for a moment to reach his mobile phone. "The other thing you must do is carry your mobile with you at all times so we know you're all right."

As he spoke, Tara swerved violently to avoid a huge hole in the lane way and the next moment the vehicle took on a life of its own as Tara jammed her foot on the brake in a vain endeavour to stop the slide into a ditch.

She heard herself shriek as her head hit the side of the vehicle as it shuddered and rolled against a stone wall. Ryan managed to stop the weight of his body falling against her.

"Are you okay? Ryan levered himself free and opened the door on his side. He pulled Tara out, and they both leaned against the side of the vehicle.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Tara panted, breathless with shock.

"You've knocked yourself. Ryan's fingers were gentle as they probed the large bump on Tara's forehead. "No harm done, but you're going to have a nasty bruise. Any other injuries?"

Tara stilled as she realised Ryan was holding her close.

"Just a moment. Your glasses are broken. Ryan carefully removed them, showing her the large crack across one of the lenses.

"It doesn't matter. I ... I don't need them. She found herself floundering at his nearness, her eyes riveted on his sensual mouth so close to hers.

Ryan's eyes darkened to almost black as he watched the colour flare across her cheekbones. "You mean they're part of your disguise, in case your boyfriend comes looking for you?"

Tara nodded, her colouring deepening with embarrassment.

Ryan lifted her chin with a long finger. "You have the most beautiful eyes, Tara. You shouldn't hide them."

She could feel the energy pulsating between them and could scarcely breathe she wanted him so. But she also knew she must break away.

"We'd better get on, she murmured.

Ryan let her go.

"I think I can manage to drive us out of the ditch you managed to land us in, he said, opening the door and climbing across to the driver's seat.

Tara breathed a sigh of relief as Ryan manoeuvred the vehicle out of its hole and continued the drive to the main road.

"Over the next couple of days we'd better give you a bit more practice. He slanted her a rueful grin.

Tara rolled her eyes dramatically. "Yes. A very good idea. I hope I didn't scratch it."

Ryan shrugged. "It's had worse. By the way, Tara, you don't need to be afraid of anyone, you know."

"Why?"

"Because no one's going to harm you ... not while I'm around."

CHAPTER FOUR

It was five weeks since Tara had first arrived in Glenroy Crossing. As Lauren had predicted, Tara did feel like part of the furniture. David had spent time teaching her the secret elements of four-wheel driving to make her feel confident driving on her own, even in the blustery weather conditions with a covering of snow on the ground.

She had established a routine for her patient lists and looked forward to visiting them, particularly the rascally Joe Thomas, who had recovered well from his heart surgery and Harry and Edna Norman. Between the three of them, they had managed to bring Harry's diabetes under control and his ulcerated legs and feet had at last healed. She and Lauren had established a good practice routine. Lauren transferred patients to her and booked her to assist Ryan and David.

Tara's thoughts turned to Ryan - indeed, it often seemed that she thought of little else. She might be comfortable in her work, but sharing a house with him was certainly causing a strain between them. Or was it just her? Was she the only one that felt the extraordinary sexual tension vibrating between them? The moments when their eyes met and held - until she would turn away, afraid he would see the longing in her face? The way she avoided his casual touch, frightened that she would lose control and throw herself into his arms, begging him to make love

But, I'm happy. I'm really happy.Tara hummed a song to Emma as she finished trimming the little girl's hair as they sat together in the warm lounge. The front door slammed and Tara's heart began to pound. Ryan was home.

"Look, Daddy! Tara cut my hair. Isn't she clever? Emma danced around in front of her father as he entered the room.

Ryan grinned and dutifully admired Emma's freshly trimmed fair locks.

"I only tidied up the ends, Tara explained. "They were a bit uneven."

"Looks great - thanks. I didn't know you were a hairdresser as well. Ryan's manner was teasing as he sat on the sofa, bending to lift Ben on to his lap.

"Oh, there's no end to my talents, Tara replied.

"She can do yours too, Daddy, Emma chimed in, perching herself on the arm of the sofa and pushing her face into Ryan's. "Your hair is too long!"

Ryan laughed. "I know little pumpkin. I haven't had time to go to the barber. But I don't think Tara wants to cut my hair."

"I don't mind."

"There, you see, Dad - she will. And I'll be her helper and sweep the floor. Emma bounced up and down with excitement as Ryan raised a dark eyebrow at Tara.

"Really, I don't mind, Tara repeated. She saw the sudden sensual look in Ryan's eyes but chose to ignore it. "But you'll need to wet it first."

"I'll have my shower. Ryan stood up and handed Ben to Tara, who pressed her face into the baby's soft neck to hide her confusion.

In a state of high excitement Emma positioned a chair in the kitchen and then set a towel in place and Tara's scissors and comb.

"Sit down, Dad. We're all ready, she ordered her father when he entered the room.

Tara swallowed. Ryan had dressed in his jeans but left the top of his body bare. He was lean but powerfully built, with a smattering of dark hair across his chest. His skin had an olive tone and felt like silk under Tara's hand as she inadvertently touched him while placing a towel around his shoulders.

"Not too short, he said, his voice deep as he turned to look up at her.

"Yes, sir. Tara wiped her hands nervously on her trousers and then ran her fingers experimentally through his hair to gauge its length. Emma waited patiently in front of her father, clutching her broom at the ready.

"You are a very bad boy, letting your hair get so long, Daddy she chided as Tara fought to control her trembling hands. His hair was thick and smelled sweetly of shampoo. Tara suppressed a wild urge to lean over and kiss the back of his neck. Instead, she began to methodically trim the unruly strands.

Emma chatted to herself, pretending to play "hairdressers while Tara became more and more aware of the long silence between Ryan and her. As she worked, she felt her confidence grow as she ran her fingers along his scalp, revelling in the feel of the texture of his hair. Finally, she trimmed the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck and was about to remove the towel when Ryan caught hold of her hand.

"Thank you, he whispered softly and pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand.

Tara closed her eyes at the exquisite agony his touch created before almost snatching her hand away.

"You're welcome, she gasped.

* * * *

Confidently changing gears, Tara manoeuvred the land rover around a tricky corner as she drove along the main road to Glenroy Crossing the following day. It was mid-afternoon but she had already finished seeing her list of patients and was only six kilometres from home.

She gripped the wheel of her four-wheel drive tightly as a sudden gust of wind pushed against the vehicle. Winter had arrived with a vengeance in the High Country with a flurry of snow, the first fall of the season. Now a gale blew furiously, tossing the branches of the large trees lining the road making them creak and groan ominously.

Tara welcomed Mother Nature's strange mood. Nothing could affect how she felt. The pleasure of her work, the joy of going home to Emma and Ben, who would be waiting for her with their beaming smiles and loving hugs, and to ... Ryan.

She felt her body melt with heat at the thought of seeing him. His warm brown eyes would watch her and his slow, sensual smile would cause her heart to leap into her throat. The nods of approval he gave her when she had managed a particularly awkward patient well warmed her heart. She loved watching him play with Ben and laugh in delight at Ben's wobbly attempts to walk, and she loved the tenderness and love he gave to Emma when she clambered on to his lap after dinner ready to be told a story. The thoughts of him were pure joy to her.

Surely it was inevitable that sometime soon these feelings would overtake them and then what? Or perhaps Ryan felt nothing for her and was playing with her feelings.

What was the truth about Carol's accusations of Ryan's affairs? Tara hadn't seen any signs of his lovers waiting in the wings - no strange phone calls or mysterious letters.

She shrugged, deciding that it was none of her business and began to sing along with a song on the radio, tapping her foot in time. Yes, she was happy. Ryan was naturally protective and she felt safe and secure for the first time in years. She got on well with the practice team and had quickly become friends with David's wife Michelle and had visited her for coffee on several occasions.

Michelle was two years older than Tara and enjoyed being a full time mother to her son Tom. On Tara's last visit a few days ago, Michelle had joyfully told her that she was newly pregnant with their second child. She had invited Ryan and Tara and the children over for a barbecue on Saturday - tomorrow - and Tara was looking forward to it.

A fierce gust of wind rattled the vehicle. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. She would be home in a few minutes and perhaps it would be just as well.

"Stop! Stop!"

Tara saw a woman running towards her along the road shouting at her and braked. The woman wrenched the door open and scrambled inside, panting heavily.

"What is it? Tara's took in the woman's wild and distressed appearance and her hands tightened around the steering wheel

"Quick! You're the nurse aren't you? My husband's had an accident."

"Where?"

"Drive! I'll guide you."

The woman directed her off the road and through the entrance gate of a property.

"What's your name? After the woman recovered her breath, Tara tried to get the woman talking. Her face was ashen and she appeared to be going into shock.

"Sally Robson. My husband is Roy. A tree ... has fallen on him. She broke into deep, gasping sobs.

Tara rested a hand on her leg. "It's okay, Sally. Just tell me where he is."

Sally directed her to turn off at the first paddock where Tara had to drive up a steep embankment following the fence line. At the top stood a group of gum trees and she could see where a huge branch had broken away from the main trunk of the nearest one and fallen to the ground.

"He's under there, Sally yelled above the wind as she flung the door open.

Tara grabbed her medical kit and mobile and ran after Sally to where a man lay on his back among the broken branches and foliage. Tara's brain raced as she scrambled over the branches to reach Roy's side. Dear God! How could he have survived this? She almost cried out in horror at the sight that met her eyes.

Roy had indeed been hit by part of the broken branch, but it was a huge sliver of wood that had sheered away with the lethal sharp end piercing Roy's chest through his work shirt and impaling him to the ground beneath.

Tara knelt beside the still conscious man, her eyes taking in his pale face beaded with sweat. She could see the branch deeply impaled in his chest but standing upright as if a gigantic spear had stabbed him.

"Hi Roy, my name is Tara. You're in trouble and I'm going to call for some help. Tara kept her voice low and calm as she pulled out her mobile.

She saw the fear flare in his eyes. "You're going to be all right, she reassured him. "Sally, come close and stay with him, she shouted to the anxious woman as she stood up and pressed the surgery number. The next moment she was speaking to Ryan.

"I'm at the Robson's property, she yelled over the wind. "Roy Robson has been impaled by a falling branch. It entered just below the left clavicle. There's little blood at the wound site, but he is barely conscious and going into shock."

Ryan's voice sounded strange and distant as Tara struggled to hear him. "Get a line into him and prepare to resuscitate, if necessary, Tara. I'm on my way. I'll phone for the ambulance."

"Hurry, Ryan. Tara forced her voice to remain level. "We ... need you. But the connection had already been broken.

"There's my coat plus a couple of rugs in the car, Sally. Can you get them for me? Tara knelt by Roy again hastily undoing her kit and taking Roy's pulse and blood pressure.

"Ryan's on the way. I'm going to set up a saline drip to get some fluids into you. As she spoke, Tara quickly tapped up a vein in Roy's arm and inserted a cannula to take the intravenous feed.

"Here you are. Sally pushed the rugs at Tara who wrapped them around Roy's inert body, using her coat as a pillow to support his head.

"Is he going to die? The question was wrung from Sally who stood to one side, the wind tearing at her clothes. Tara stood up and holding the bag of saline solution in one hand, managed to give Sally a reassuring hug. "We'll do our very best to save him. I want you to drive back to the road and direct Ryan up here so we don't waste any time. It will be dark soon."

Sally nodded and ran towards Tara's vehicle.

Tara checked Roy's pulse and blood pressure again. His pulse was weaker and his blood pressure was dropping. She shone her penlight in his eyes and saw that his pupils had begun to dilate.

"Stay with me, Roy. You're going to make it, she yelled at him.

"I feel weird, he gasped, clutching her hand.

"I know. I'm going to give you an adrenaline injection, which will help you. Tara prepared the shot, almost breaking the phial in her haste.

Roy closed his eyes as Tara looked anxiously down the hill. Please hurry, Ryan, please . She turned back to monitor her patient.

When she lifted her head she could see Ryan's vehicle speeding up the track followed by Sally driving Tara's car. Both Ryan and David leapt out and ran towards her.

Ryan rested a hand on her shoulder as he peered down at Roy. "How's he doing?"

Tara could feel ridiculous tears gathering in her eyes as she continued to hold the saline bag. "Pulse sixty, blood pressure eighty over forty. He's gone into shock. I've given him a shot of adrenaline."

Ryan and David knelt on either side of Roy as they examined him. David swore. "What a bloody great stake. We'll have to saw it off before we can move him. We'll never manage him in the ambulance otherwise."

Ryan turned to Sally. "Was Roy working up here with a chain saw?"

"Yes. It's under the branches. Roy's been building the fence all afternoon."

The two men looked at each other. Ryan spoke first. "Right, let's do it, Dave. Keep monitoring him, Tara."

Tara stood to one side for a moment. David held on to the branch above Roy's chest with both hands and Ryan started up the chain saw with a roar. The surplus wood came away quickly and neatly, leaving ten centimetres still protruding incongruously from Roy's chest.

"I think we should risk giving him another adrenaline shot, don't you? Ryan queried. "I'm worried about his colour but if we need to resuscitate it could be tricky with that thing in him."

David nodded in agreement as Tara bent and took Roy's pulse and blood pressure again. "Pulse is very weak. I think he might be bleeding into his chest, Ryan. Should you intubate?"

Placing his stethoscope over various points on Roy's chest, Ryan listened intently. "Yes, I think you're right. The stake has probably punctured his lung, but at least it missed his heart. It's more urgent that we do a chest drain, though. Come on, I'll need both of your help for this."

In silence the three prepared the now unconscious man so that Ryan could insert a tube in the side of his chest and drain the excess blood, which was filling his lung cavity.

Tara marvelled at Ryan's medical kits, which were like mini operating theatres, providing the instruments required for such an emergency.

"Dave, you hold him over to one side and, Tara, prep the wound site for me and then collect the loss in that bottle, Ryan said, nodding to a sterile container as he discarded his surgical gloves and pulled on a new pair. "Sally, shine this torch so we can see properly. The light's starting to go."

Everyone worked together as Tara first swabbed the skin with antiseptic. Ryan carefully made a small incision with a scalpel into the chest wall and tried to insert a tube into the wound. Tara held her breath as Ryan hesitated. "It's okay; I'm in, he declared triumphantly and watched as blood began to drain through the tube into the bottle Tara was holding.

"I'll fix this in place and then we're starting to get somewhere, Ryan explained, fastening the tube securely with surgical tape.

"I can hear the ambulance, Sally cried.

"Flash your torch, Sally, in case they miss us, David said, still holding Roy's body in place.

"I'll go and meet them. They won't be able to drive up here. Ryan took off in his vehicle to meet the two paramedics.

Ten minutes later Roy was stabilised and ready to be taken to Marlston Hospital. Ryan had supervised his preparation and then rung the hospital's emergency department to explain Roy's condition. They agreed that David should go in the ambulance along with Sally.

"Keep him bagged, Dave, and be aware you may have to intubate, although his airway is clear at the moment. Also, tell them in emergency to watch out for infection when they get that damn hunk of wood out."

David gave a salute as the door closed and with a wail of sirens the ambulance took off at speed.

Ryan looked up the hill where he'd left Tara clearing up the mess. She's done a great job and kept a cool head. He drove back slowly to where she was loading his kit ready to place in the vehicle.

She had put her coat on but he could see she was shivering, and he wasn't sure whether it was from the cold or reaction.

"I think that's it, she said, looking around with the flashlight in the growing dusk. "I'll see you at home, I guess. She went to get into the vehicle only to be stopped by Ryan.

"You're okay to drive? We can pick your car up in the morning, you know."

Tara pulled away. "I'm fine, thanks."

"We need a debrief on this, Tara."

"Why? Did I do something wrong? She was immediately on the defensive.

"Absolutely not, but that was a very unpleasant accident and it helps to talk it through."

Ryan, watching her closely, saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. "There's no need, she said, holding up a hand to keep him from stepping closer.

"Tara, come here. I don't know about you but I need a good old-fashioned hug, he said, pulling her into him so her head lay against his chest. He wrapped his cloak around her so she was cocooned against the cold and the outside world. Her arms went around his waist as she suddenly burrowed into him.

"There, it's all right, he murmured, his lips caressing the soft hair wound around her head in its usual long plait. She smelled of jasmine and lavender. He gently rocked her against him, realising that he wanted to do more than hug her. He wanted to kiss her soft eyelids, caress her long, elegant throat and feel her silken skin against his. He wanted to make love to her.

Suddenly she pushed away and he stepped back in surprise. "We'd better go. The children will be waiting for us, she said in a rush. "I'll take my own car."

With that she hurriedly got in, reversed the vehicle, and drove down the hill leaving Ryan standing there staring after her.

"Well, my beautiful Tara Mason. I don't know who was more turned on by that hug, you or me, Ryan said aloud as he slowly got into his vehicle and began the trek home.

CHAPTER FIVE

Michelle made an exaggerated grimace as she sliced pieces of green pepper and tossed them into the salad. "Oh, if I'd seen Roy, I would have fainted for sure."

"It was a bit gruesome, Tara admitted, swinging her legs to and fro from her perch on one of Michelle's kitchen stools. She watched Ryan through the window as he and David leaned over the barbecue under the huge porch. Emma and Tom were throwing snowballs on the lawn, while Ben was securely tucked away in Michelle and David's bedroom having a well overdue nap.

"It's a miracle he survived, she added.

What a pleasant scene of domesticity they made, the two men cooking chops and sausages while she and Michelle prepared the salads. The weather had changed dramatically from the gales of the previous day when they had dramatically rescued Roy Robson. Now, although it was cold, the sun was sparkling on the distant hillside and glittering on the now heavy fall of snow.

"Has Ryan phoned in about him? Michelle asked.

Tara began to place the cutlery on the long kitchen table ready for lunch. "Yes. They've operated and removed the branch. As Ryan suspected, it had punctured his lung but by some sort of freak missed his heart. He's heavily sedated still and they have him on a drip feed of antibiotics to counteract any infection."

"Roy and Sally were very lucky you were driving by, Tara. But I can't understand why Sally didn't just phone for help."

David pushed open the door carrying a tray loaded with cooked meat and onions. "I gather they don't have a phone any more, he said, placing the tray in the warm oven. "They use their mobile, but when Sally went to call the batteries were flat."

Michelle made a sympathetic murmur. "How dreadful! It certainly pays to keep them charged up. She nuzzled into David's shoulder and he placed an arm around her waist.

"You make sure I can always reach you, my darling, he said, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. "Especially now you're going to have our little girl."

Tara smiled at their show of tender affection. "Do you know it's a girl? she asked.

David laughed. "Not yet, but we're hoping."

Suddenly the noise level rose as Ryan strolled in accompanied by the two children yelling for their lunch. Dumping a plate of crispy cooked potatoes on the table, Ryan held up both hands in mock despair. "Please, Michelle, feed these hungry monsters. They are driving me crazy!"

Tara joined in the laughter as everyone settled down at the table and began to eat.

"Wine, Tara? David hovered over Tara's glass with a bottle of Chablis.

"Just a small one, thanks."

"Go on, Tara. You can indulge. It's supposed to be your day off, Ryan teased, his arm brushing hers as he reached for the bread.

"Do you know that this woman won't take any time out? he continued. "I have told her she is entitled to two days off a week but she doesn't go anywhere and every night she stays at home helping me with the kids."

Michelle gave him a friendly punch. "I don't think you know when you're well off, mate. You should be thankful that Tara's not out gallivanting in some of the ski resorts."

Ryan slanted a grin at Tara. "Oh, believe me, I thank God every day for sending us Tara, he said, and for a few moments there was a strange silence as they all stared at her, even the children.

Tara could feel the colour rise in her cheeks as she met Ryan's steady gaze. She looked down, spearing a piece of potato on the end of her fork. "Oh, that's me all right, she joked, her voice slightly husky "a regular saint."

They laughed and the awkward moment passed, although Michelle looked very thoughtful as she cut up the children's meat.

The mood became more sombre though as the afternoon wore on mainly because Ryan seemed to lose the fire and good humour of earlier. He was in earnest conversation with David discussing Roy's condition when Tara heard Ben shouting from the bedroom.

"I'll go and see to him, she said to Michelle who was serving fresh fruit and ice-cream for desert.

"Right you are, sweetie. Looks like our men have settled in for one of their deep and meaningfuls, she called out as Tara made her way to the bedroom.

Tara allowed herself a secret smile. 'Our men. She liked the sound of it even though she'd felt embarrassed. She supposed it was one of those throwaway lines that meant nothing, but she had barely been able to hide the warm glow it triggered within her.

Ben was standing up in the cot that Michelle had placed in the room and when he saw Tara, his face lit up in a huge grin. "Ta ta, he gurgled, jumping up and down in his excitement at seeing her.

"Hello, my lovely little man. Did you try and say my name? You are so clever. Tara lifted him in her arms, covering his soft little face with kisses.

"Ta ta, Ben repeated pulling Tara's long coiled plait free from its pins so it fell down her back.

"Hey, you're a ruffian, did you know that? And I think you need changing. She laughed down at him as she changed his nappy and then after washing her hands in the en suite, she pulled on his little dungarees and held him close again.

"Da da. Ben wiggled, reaching out his arms and she turned to see Ryan behind them.

"G'day, young Ben, have you had a great sleep? Ryan took him from Tara and nestled him into his shoulder.

"He said my name, Tara blurted out, her eyes shining.

"Did he just. Ryan gently touched her hair. "I had no idea your hair was so long; it reaches to your waist, he said. "Why don't you wear it loose sometimes?"

Tara tensed at the caressing look in his eyes. "Oh, I ... I couldn't do that. It's unmanageable, she stuttered as she wound it back into its normal coil around her head, her eyes watching his sensual mouth.

"Unmanageable? Or are you still hiding from someone?"

The question took her by surprise and she stilled. Fortunately Ben chose that moment to lean from his father's arms, little hands outstretched to her. "Ta ta, he cried as she laughed and took him from Ryan.

"Do you hear that, Ryan? she asked and Ryan grinned, the question forgotten.

* * * *

It was later that evening when both children were in bed that Ryan turned the conversation to serious matters again.

He had been writing up some patients notes in his study while Tara had settled in front of the television to watch a movie. She was pleasantly tired, having thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon with Michelle and David. She knew Ryan was on call and hoped that he wouldn't need to go out. He had looked tired earlier, his face unusually strained and pale. She hated it when he wasn't there. She was so used to him now that she missed him.

She stacked another couple of logs on the fire.

"Can I talk to you for a moment? Ryan stood in the doorway, his face serious.

Tara picked up anxious vibes from him. "Yes, of course. Is something wrong? Had she done something to upset him?

Ryan sat on the sofa next to her. Tara tensed, waiting.

"I had a letter from the Family Court yesterday saying Carol has been granted visiting rights."

Tara suddenly remembered to exhale, not realising she had been holding her breath. "When?"

"In a week's time. She's coming here to fetch them and taking them back to Sydney for three weeks."

"Oh, no! Tara couldn't help the outburst. "But they'll be frightened. They don't know her!"

She couldn't believe that Ryan was so calm as he shrugged his shoulders. "Emma will be okay. In fact, she'll probably like seeing her mother again, and Ben will soon get used to her."

Tara wrung her hands, anguish showing on her face. "They won't understand, Ryan. Why are the courts allowing this?"

"I think they're probably paving the way for Carol to have custody and for me to have occasional visiting rights."

"Well, you must do something, for heaven's sake. You can't let this happen!"

Ryan leaned back in his seat. "My hands are tied until we go to court. However, I'd like you to reconsider my proposal of a few weeks ago and marry me."

Tara gaped at him. She couldn't have been more shocked. For some reason this was the last thing she had expected him to ask.

"We could make it a contractual arrangement as you suggested. I'm pretty sure we'd get on okay. It would stop the gossip, but more importantly for me, if we are married I think it would give me a fighting chance when we get to court. You were right that it would provide a stable home environment for the kids."

"But ... but surely you don't really think the court will take the children away from you, do you? Tara could hardly speak she was so overcome.

"Yes, I think they will. I know Carol deserted them, but they will swing that around to make me appear a womaniser who drove her away by my behaviour. Or worse still, they'll split the kids up and she'll get Emma."

For the first time Tara saw a crack in Ryan's armour as his eyes glistened with tears.

"What makes you say that?"

He turned then and held her hand between both of his, studying the fine bones and delicate skin.

"Emma's not my child."

The silence between them seemed to go on for minutes as Tara grappled with this information. What the hell could he mean?

"Carol had an affair after we'd been married for about three years. I didn't know about it then and when she became pregnant with Emma I thought she was my baby. It wasn't until Emma was five and I was doing a routine blood match just in case we ever needed to give blood that I discovered she wasn't my daughter."

"Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry. Tara gripped his hand, her eyes brimming with tears of sympathy.

"It didn't make any difference. I have always loved Emma as if she was my own child, he continued softly as if talking to himself. "In fact, I feel unbelievably protective of her, as if I'm shielding her from Carol's folly."

Tara studied their hands linked together, Ryan's thumb caressing her soft skin. "Does Carol know that you found out about her affair? she whispered.

"Yes, I tackled her about it as soon as I realised, and she admitted to an affair with a lawyer friend of ours in Sydney. She begged my forgiveness and asked if we could start again, which I agreed to do. A year later Ben was born and before you ask, yes, he is my son."

Tara pressed her lips together realising how hard this must be for Ryan to tell her such intimate things. "He looks like you, she said, with a tiny smile.

Ryan leaned over, lifting her chin so their eyes met. "I know I've got a damn cheek asking you to marry me, Tara, especially after you threw my offer back in my face, but I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit to feeling kind of desperate. If being married helps my custody case, then I'll go on my knees and beg you to marry me, if you prefer."

"I don't think that will be necessary, she replied with a shaky laugh. "I'm shocked, that's all. I don't quite know what to say."

Ryan moved closer, his arm going along the back of the sofa behind her head, his dark eyes intent on hers. "Just say yes, Tara. We'll get married quietly while the kids are away with Carol. I think the fewer people who know the better. Perhaps we'll get a celebrant to marry us with Michelle and David as witnesses.

"Unless of course, you have close family that you want to invite, he added.

"I don't have any close family, Tara responded, her heart pounding at his closeness. She could feel the warmth from him and the tantalising smell of his aftershave. "Yes, I'll marry you, Ryan."

She looked up into his eyes that flared with a strange satisfaction. "But I have a request of my own, she continued, moving away so her back was against the arm of the sofa.

"When people find out we're married, which they will of course, I would like them to think we have a ... normal marriage. She stumbled over the words still aware of his closeness.

"You mean as in sexual relations?"

Tara blinked at Ryan's directness. "Yes, she replied, her face burning. "Also, I would like you to be discreet about any relationships, not for my sake but for the children. It could jeopardise the custody case."

Tara realised as she uttered the damning words that she had made a dreadful mistake as a shutter came across Ryan's face. He moved away from her.

"I can assure you that I'll be the soul of discretion in conducting my "relationships, as you call them, and I will make sure that there is no misunderstanding as to why we've married. Everyone will know that I'm so crazy about you that I can't keep my hands off you. His voice was cool and dismissive as he stood up.

"I don't know how one acts under these circumstances, he said, looking down at her bent head. "But thank you, Tara. I think you'll find that I'll be a reasonable husband. I promise to treat you well and to protect you from whoever or whatever you're running from. It would seem we can do each other a huge favour. I'll make arrangements for our marriage over the next few days."

She heard him go and then the study door close. Still she remained seated fidgeting with the buttons of her jumper. What a mess I made of that. I've offended him and yet I had to say those things. I couldn't bear it if he paraded a lover in front of me sometime in the weeks or months to come. He had given no indication of having affairs, but if he wasn't involved then why didn't he deny it? There was some reason why he wasn't telling her what went wrong with his marriage and she wondered if Carol was fully to blame for their problems. And yet wasn't she just as bad? Taking advantage of Ryan's vulnerable situation and securing herself a place in his life. A place where she would feel safe. Where no one could harm her.

Tara sighed and closed her eyes, still regretting her hurtful question. In a few careless words she had taken them back to square one, to that night when she had first met this brooding, angry man. All the trust and comradeship they had built up in the past few weeks, she may have stupidly destroyed in seconds.

* * * *

"Hand me that dressing, please, Ryan requested as they worked together in the surgery two days later.

Tara quickly responded. It was the afternoon when Ryan conducted his day surgery outpatient clinic and Tara, as usual, assisted him. They were halfway through an unusually long list of patients requiring minor surgery, including removal of skin lesions and cysts plus various test requirements.

Ryan had just removed several cancerous skin lesions from the forehead of an elderly farmer. "That will do for now, Mike, he said, removing his gloves and washing his hands in the sink. "Remember to keep wearing a protective cream even in this weather."

"No problem, Doc. Thanks. I don't know why they keep appearing, honest. Mike stood up, shaking his heavy coat as he prepared to go.

"It's not so much what you're doing now. It's all the damage the sun did when you were a young man and didn't bother with such things as sunblock cream, Ryan replied, resting a hand on Mike's shoulder. "Come back and see me in six weeks time."

Tara typed Mike's information into the computer as Ryan saw him out. Her fingers hovered over the keys for a moment as her eyes lifted to watch Ryan, his face set and brooding. He had been like this since Saturday when she had stipulated her rules if she was to marry him. And yet, she felt she had every right to expect such a courtesy from him. Tara wondered for a moment if his somber mood was all her fault. Perhaps it could be the fact that the children would be leaving him for three weeks. Probably both, she decided.

Ryan pressed the intercom buzzer, which sounded at the reception desk. "Who's next, Lauren? he asked.

"Mrs. Marshall. I'm sending her in, came the crisp response.

"Thanks. Ryan looked down at his patient records. "Can you prep for a local anaesthetic, please? I examined this patient this morning and she's got a nasty abscess on her leg which needs draining."

Tara nodded as she quickly pulled on her surgical gown and fastened a mask across the lower part of her face. She efficiently set the instruments in place as Ryan greeted the woman at the door.

"I can tell you I'm not looking forward to this, Ryan. I'm not sure I won't faint. The attractive woman in her mid-thirties certainly looked a little pale as Ryan sat her down in the chair opposite him.

"Helen, you'll be fine, he reassured her. "Tara's going to clean the area with some antiseptic liquid, and then I'll give you a local anaesthetic involving a small prick with a needle. You won't feel a thing and we'll have you on your way in no time."

"I'll take your word for it, came the caustic reply. Tara smilingly helped Helen on to the operating table. While Ryan scrubbed up, she swirled the antiseptic around the wound site and then held the injection out for Ryan.

"Here we go, he said quietly as Helen gave an exaggerated groan.

Ryan made a small incision into the swollen abscess on her left lower leg and removed the matter. Tara instantly covered the affected area with a sterile drape to prevent any of the surrounding bacteria from entering the wound.

"As easy as that, Ryan said, pulling his mask down as Tara applied a dressing.

"Thank heavens! And you're right, Ryan, I didn't feel a thing."

"It will probably be a bit sore. I want you to come into the surgery in a couple of days so that Tara can check it and put on a clean dressing."

Helen gingerly swung her legs off the operating table and Ryan placed a hand on her arm to help her balance.

"I hear Carol's coming back to live with you, she said, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously at Ryan. Tara caught the sudden tension in the air - it could be cut with a knife. Ryan slowly removed his hand and Helen adjusted her clothing.

"You know I don't discuss my personal life with my patients, Helen, he said coolly.

"Oh, come on rather more than a patient, Ryan. More of a very close friend, surely? Helen replied with a brittle laugh. "Anyway, I'm just letting you know the latest town gossip. Thought you and Tara should know so you don't get taken by surprise, if you know what I mean."

Ryan appeared to ignore her last remark as he held open the surgery door. "I think you'd better come in and see Tara about your diet soon. You could be a trifle run down which can cause abscesses to occur. He nodded politely as Helen departed with a whish of her skirt.

Ryan closed the door and leaned against it. "Stupid woman, he murmured and then gave a rueful smile. Tara responded with a grin, her heart suddenly hammering in her breast at the light in Ryan's eyes.

"She's one of the women from whom I need to be protected, he said pushing away from the door and coming to stand in front of her.

"Is that another reason for needing a wife? Tara asked softly, her eyes studying the sensual curve of his mouth.

"I think I may have many reasons, Tara. His lean hands cupped her face, his fingers caressed her prominent cheek bones. "It might be a good idea if we consider making this a real marriage with regard to the physical relations. Do you agree?"

Tara could scarcely breathe as he lowered his dark head to hers. "Yes, I would like that, she whispered as Ryan's mouth closed over hers. Her hands fluttered in the air before gripping Ryan's shirt. She clung to him, drowning in the glory of the moment. Ryan deepened the kiss, his tongue tasting and stroking her as Tara responded, releasing all of the pent-up emotion she had felt for him in the past weeks.

When they drew apart, Ryan took a shaky breath, his hands touching her swollen red mouth. "That was long overdue, he said. "I have wanted to do that since the first night I saw you."

Tara felt burning heat race up her throat. "I didn't know."

I sound so feeble. But Ryan wants to make love to me so I'm happy.

"I'm sorry I've been a pain the last couple of days, Tara. I feel pretty bad asking you to marry me for what must seem very selfish reasons, but that kiss has broken down quite a few barriers. I would consider us sexually compatible, wouldn't you?"

"I guess so. We don't really know yet."

"Do you want to wait to have sex until we're married?"

Tara placed her hands to her face, embarrassed at his bluntness. "I think it might be advisable. To her ears her words sounded ridiculous. It shouldn't matter and yet, something held her back.

Ryan laughed and leaning over the desk, pressed the buzzer for the next patient. "Not advisable for me, I can assure you. But I'll be patient, if that's what you prefer."

Tara hastily cleared away the instruments and changed the sheet on the operating table. She was glad of the respite to allow her heartbeat to settle. She could hardly believe Ryan had kissed her with such abandonment and that she had returned the kiss with such passion - or that it had been followed by a very unromantic discussion about when to have sex.

"Ryan, can you see little Brett Logan? Lauren put her head around the door, her expression full of concern. "David's had to go out and I think Brett may be an emergency."

"Sure. Bring him in. Ryan straightened his shoulders as he tried to bring his mind into focus.

He hadn't meant to kiss Tara - it was the understanding smile she had given as he had ushered Helen Marshall from the surgery. The look on Tara's face had caused his heart to lift in the most extraordinary way, knowing she bore no ill feeling about his abysmal behaviour of the past two days.

He couldn't understand why it hurt him so much that Tara should think he'd had affairs. She had made it quite clear that she wanted him to sort himself out if they were to marry. He wondered if he presented the demeanour of a player, a man who enjoyed affairs even when he was married. Oh, sure, he'd been tempted, especially when their marriage had hit such low points, but some insane loyalty to Carol and particularly the kids had stopped him.

It really disturbed him that Tara should hold him in such low esteem. Yet his own stupid pride prevented him from denying any rumours. He supposed he couldn't blame Tara for thinking the worst of him, with Carol feeding drips of poison through phone calls and the comments from her friends.

Still, he wouldn't have changed that kiss for the world. It had woken a sleeping tiger within him, and Tara's response was everything he could have hoped for - and more. Perhaps they could make a go of this strange marriage. Although he was aware that Tara had some deep, dark secrets that she would need to share with him if they were to be comfortable together.

Ryan watched her now as she turned to face the door, her profile serene and perfect. He felt a savage burning in his gut as he thought of another man kissing those soft lips, her body thrusting against his, her hands touching and caressing as they made love.

Shaking his head, he turned his attention to Brett Logan and his anxious mother who was half carrying the five-year-old into the surgery. Moving forward, he lifted Brett from his mother's arms and placed him on the operating table while Tara helped Mrs. Logan into a chair.

"What's up, Kirsty? Ryan asked, watching Brett closely as the child curled into the foetal position.

"Oh, Doctor Wade, he's been complaining about a pain in his tummy for a couple of days and now he's started to be sick. I think he's really ill."

"How many times has he vomited?"

"About four, but it's getting more frequent."

"Has he still got the pain in his stomach?"

"Yes. But not so badly."

"Right. Ryan turned to Brett who had pushed his head into the pillow. "Let's have a look, young fella."

He gently rolled the child over on to his back and Brett immediately covered his face with his arms. Tara stroked the top of his head to keep him calm.

"It's all right, Brett. It will all be over in a moment and I'm sure Doctor Ryan will have a little present for you for being so good, she whispered to the child.

Brett uncurled slightly but still kept his hands over his face.

"I'm just going to feel your tummy, Ryan said as Tara undid Brett's shirt and Ryan gently pressed his stomach and lower abdomen.

"A bit tender, he commented to Tara.

"Is it the appendix?"

Ryan didn't answer as he pulled Brett's arm away from his face and the little boy flinched. "Tara, can you turn off the overhead light please?"

Tara did so.

"Is that better Brett?"

The little boy nodded.

"Have you got bad pain in your eyes and down the side of your head?"

Once again Brett nodded.

"What is it, Doctor Wade? Kirsty stood beside Ryan looking down at her son, her eyes clouded with worry.

"When did you have your last migraine attack, Kirsty? About a month ago?"

"Yes. You gave me a pethidine injection."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that Brett has a migraine."

Kirsty placed her hand to her mouth in dismay. "But he's only five. Surely that's not possible?"

"Yes, it is. He has every symptom of a migraine in a young child. Pain in the centre of the abdomen, pale skin, vomiting, dislike of bright lights, headache down one side of his head. It can be hereditary and you've been a migraine sufferer for how many years? Ten or twelve?"

"Oh, no! Poor Brett. What shall we do?"

Ryan touched the boy's cheek in a comforting gesture. "Don't get upset, Kirsty. I'm going to give him a shot of pain killer and I think you'll find he'll be fine. But I'm going to arrange for you to go to Marlston when Brett is feeling better and get a CT scan of his head to make sure there's no other problem."

He turned to Tara who handed him the injection. He quickly injected the drug into Brett's arm before the little boy realised what was happening.

"There we go. That's going to make you a bit sleepy, Brett, but it will take away that nasty pain."

Brett gave a small grin as Ryan lifted him up and placed him in Kirsty's arms.

"Thank you so much, Doctor Wade. Kirsty gave Ryan and Tara a look full of gratitude as Ryan scribbled out the referral for a CT examination and gave it to Kirsty.

"Put Brett to bed and let him sleep off the drug. Tell me if he has any other problems, Ryan said as Tara pressed a tiny toy truck into the now sleepy child's hands and watched the grin on his face with pleasure.

Ryan closed the door after them as Lauren confirmed that Brett was the last patient for the day.

Tara looked at Ryan with a certain amount of awe. She had worked with many doctors in the past eight or so years and had rarely seen anyone as clever and spot on with their diagnoses as Ryan - not even the many specialists she'd worked with. He really was astounding. His gentle manner with often frantic and sometimes unreasonable patients never varied. No wonder they loved him so much.

"Ready to go next door? Ryan asked, clicking off his computer.

"I need to scrub down in here first. I won't be long, Tara replied. She felt a sense of belonging at the thought of going home with Ryan

"That was impressive, she said as Ryan turned to go. "I would never have picked a migraine."

Ryan shrugged. "I knew the family history, he replied. "That helps."

"When are you going to tell Emma about going away with Carol? Tara bit her lip as the words tumbled out. Every time she thought of Emma and Ben leaving with Carol, her heart ached for Ryan left without his children.

"I thought tonight after dinner. Carol will be here in a couple of days so I'd better prepare Emma. He frowned.

"Ryan, there's just one more thing that I think is necessary before we marry. The words trembled on her lips. "Before we marry" - how bizarre it was. They were marrying so they could help each other out of a jam. Even the agreement to have sex was so they could meet each others physical needs. It was a very clinical and cold arrangement and one that she hoped and prayed she wouldn't live to regret.

"What? Ryan sounded impatient now, keen to go to his children.

"I ... I would like a contract drawn up stating the legalities of our marriage."

"And that is?"

"That when the result of the custody hearing is known no matter what the outcome, our marriage is to be terminated."

"You make it sound pretty cold blooded."

Tara took in his brooding expression, tight with suppressed anger. Looking directly at him she said, "That's the way it must be. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise, Tara. It's not every day a man gets a wife, a mother for his kids and a lover all in one, knowing he can get rid of her in a few weeks. I'll arrange things with a lawyer and don't worry; I'll make sure you have your escape clause. Heaven forbid that you should want to tie yourself to me for any longer than necessary. With these cutting remarks, Ryan left.

Tara began to scrub down the worktops, angrily dashing away the stray tear that rolled down her cheek. Damn it, Ryan! Don't you see this is the way it has to be otherwise you will break my heart? She furiously scrubbed away at the work top.

CHAPTER SIX

"Can I take all my toys? Emma's expression was mutinous as she faced Tara.

"No, I'm afraid you can't. I've already explained that you can take your favourites. The others will still be here when you get back."

"Daddy will let me take them."

"Daddy's had to go and see a patient. Now, come on, Emma. Your Mummy will be here soon."

Tears filled the little girl's eyes and began to run down her cheeks. "I've changed my mind. I don't want to go, she cried, running along the passage into her bedroom and banging the door behind her.

Tara could hear her muffled sobs. She sighed. Emma was anxious about going to stay with her mother. Ever since Ryan had explained that Carol was coming to take Emma and Ben on a holiday to Sydney, Emma had alternated between huge excitement and fearful apprehension. Ryan had spent a great deal of time reassuring her, but both he and Tara were concerned at the obvious bewilderment the little girl was suffering.

"Ben, wait! Tara tried to catch Ben as he made his wobbly way along the passage towards the front door, only to scream with pain as he fell and knocked his head against the hall stand.

"Oh, Ben darling! Are you all right? Tara scooped up the screaming baby, anxiously examining his head where a large, red bump had already appeared on his forehead.

"There, there, that must have hurt, little one. She cradled him against her, murmuring words of comfort. A loud knock at the door made Tara jump and caused Ben to scream even more loudly. Still holding him, she opened the door and came face to face with an elegant, slim woman accompanied by a tall, fair-haired man.

"What have you done to my child? the woman demanded leaning forward and trying to take Ben from Tara's arms.

"No, please, Mrs. Wade. You'll make him more frightened. Tara backed away as Carol glared at her.

"How dare you! That's my child you're abusing. She turned to the man beside her. "Glen, do something, for God's sake! This woman is mistreating my kids."

Tara swallowed, realising how the situation must appear with Ben still distressed and the sound of Emma crying from the bedroom. Suddenly two firm hands were placed on her shoulders and she was pulled against a hard, warm chest. Thank goodness Ryan had returned from his call and entered the house through the back door.

"What's going on? His manner was calm as he wiped away Ben's tears with a handkerchief.

"You may well ask, Ryan. How dare you leave this girl in charge of my children? It appears to me that we've come just in time. Carol stepped forward into the passage closely followed by Glen. Tara tried to back away but Ryan stopped her, holding her steady.

"You're early, Carol, he said coolly. "We weren't expecting you until eleven."

"Just as well I'm early so I can see what this woman has been trying to cover up."

Ryan turned Tara to face him. "Are you okay? His tone was concerned.

"Yes, of course. Ben fell over and hit his head and Emma's having another upset, but they'll be all right."

Gentle fingers probed Ben's forehead. "Just a bit of a bump, he said softly. "You take him in to see Emma, and I'll deal with things here."

Thankfully Tara escaped, hurrying into Emma's room and closing the door. What a disaster! How angry Carol had been, she thought as she drew the little girl against her, comforting both children in her arms.

Ryan turned to face his ex-wife. She hadn't changed. She was still beautiful in a cold, calculating way, with her blonde hair cut into a fashionable chic style surrounding her oval face. Bright blue eyes glittered at him with suppressed fury as she pushed past him into the lounge.

"Come on, Glen. Let's collect the kids and get out of here, she snapped, smoothing agitated hands over her expensive tweed coat.

Ryan held out his hand. "Hello, Glen. Nice to meet you, he said pleasantly. The older man sheepishly shook Ryan's hand.

"You too, Ryan, he replied.

"I understand that you and Carol are getting married. Congratulations!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Ryan! Carol broke in. "Let's cut the niceties, shall we? Please get the children ready. We have a long trip back to Sydney."

Ryan's mouth tightened. "Emma and Ben will be ready to go with you at eleven o'clock as was arranged by the court. He glanced at his watch. "It's only half past nine so I suggest the two of you might like to fill in some time and have a cup of coffee at the local café."

He almost smiled at the thunderous look on Carol's face. "I would offer you a cup here but Tara and I still have some packing to do for the children, he continued.

"So it's Tara, is it? That's the name of your new little harlot. Well, you're welcome to her, Ryan. And you're more of an idiot than I thought if you believe the courts are going to grant custody of Emma and Ben to a man of such loose morals who is living with a woman who abuses them."

There was an ominous silence as Ryan stared at Carol. The memories of the arguments and bitter fights suddenly rushed at him. No, she certainly hadn't changed - she never would. How could he have ever believed that he'd loved her? He gave a slow, aggravating smile as he moved to one side to allow them to pass.

"It won't work, Carol. You can be as vicious as you like, but the truth will come out in court. I'm sure my lawyer will vouch for that. Until then, there is no point in discussing things so I'll see you both at eleven."

He watched as Carol stormed out followed by Glen who rolled his eyes at Ryan as he passed.

Ryan leaned against the door and let his breath go with a rush. He could hear the muted sound of Tara's voice talking to the children and pushing himself away from the door, made his way along the passage. Now, came the hard part. Getting his children ready to leave him.

* * * *

Two hours later Ryan sat at the kitchen table, his shoulders slumped in dejection. "I could do with a drink."

"It's a bit early for that, I think, Tara said brightly. "I'll make a coffee."

She filled the jug and plugged it in, sniffing furiously as she did so. Reaching for a tissue, she blew her nose. The children had left on their three week holiday with Carol and Glen and she felt awful. Her stomach churned nauseously and her throat ached with unshed tears. She turned to look at Ryan. If she felt like this at saying goodbye, then how must he be feeling?

"At least the children were happier when they left, she remarked, spooning the coffee into two mugs.

"Only because Carol bribed Emma with presents and Ben was ready for his nap. He would have fallen asleep as soon as they drove off. Ryan's voice suddenly cracked with emotion and Tara placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Ryan, but it will be all right, you'll see, she murmured. Ryan turned and buried his face against her, his arms going around her waist. Tara leaned her head on his, gently rocking him against her.

"I need you, Tara, he whispered. "I need you more than ever now."

Tara's heart was so full that she couldn't speak. She wanted to say: Yes, I need you, too, my love. At last I have someone who cares and wants me. You may not love me but that's okay, I can live with that. She had agonised over the look of despair on Ryan's face as the children had been driven away, snug and safe in their especially fitted car seats.

He'd held himself together until then. He had deliberately teased and cajoled both of the children, reducing them to fits of giggles and laughter as he and Tara had packed their cases.

"Have a lovely holiday, my precious, he had whispered to Emma as he had hugged her goodbye. "Daddy and Tara will be waiting for you when you come home."

Ryan leaned back and looked up into Tara's face giving a wry grin. "I guess we could look at it from another angle. If I was to be totally honest, the kids are hard work. Perhaps we need a bit of a holiday as well."

Tara returned his smile, hers tinged with sadness. "I would rather have them here, she replied.

Standing up, Ryan reached over and took a swallow of coffee. "So would I but we're going to be pretty busy. I hope it's okay with you, but I've made arrangements for us to be married next Saturday. A celebrant will conduct the ceremony in David and Michelle's home. Afterwards I thought we could go away for a couple of days."

He waited, watching the surprised expression on Tara's face. "I didn't realise it would be so ... so soon. She stumbled over the words. "What did David and Michelle think?"

"They were thrilled, as I thought they would be. Michelle considers it the love match of the century and has offered to prepare a special luncheon to celebrate. Also, I thought we would invite Molly and her husband Brian to join us. Molly's like one of the family."

"That will be nice."

"Are you sure you don't have any relations or friends you'd like to invite?"

"No, there's no one."

Ryan moved next to her. He could smell her delicate perfume and watched in fascination at the small pulse beating rapidly at the base of her throat. She was scared and he couldn't blame her. It was quite a step they were both about to take. "It's going to be all right, Tara, he said, his tone reassuring. "I'll take good care of you and the kids already adore you."

Tara's lashes fluttered nervously. "It's all so sudden and strange. How can we go away? What about your patients?"

"David and I have arranged for a locum that we know from Marlston to fill in for me. He'll stay here until Tuesday morning, which will give us three days break. I thought we could stay at one of the resorts and go skiing."

"I can't ski."

"Then I'll teach you."

"I ... I. Tara went to turn away but Ryan pulled her against him, his hands holding her face.

"I know you're nervous, Tara and that it's an unusual, rather unromantic situation, but we are physically attracted to each other. I'm sure we can make this marriage work - for the time we're together, he added and bending his head, captured her mouth in a gentle kiss.

Tara's heart was drumming at the feel of his lips on hers. She wanted more. She wanted all of him, his mind and his body, she decided as she moved against him, parting her lips to allow him entry. Her hands clutched at his shoulders as he deepened the kiss and her head began to spin as he caressed the soft skin of her back under her jumper. He slid his hands to her hips and the rounded curves of her bottom, holding her tightly against him. When Ryan would have broken the kiss, she clung, her lips and tongue teasing his and he responded until both of them were caught in a storm of passion.

"Yes, very physically compatible, Ryan breathed raggedly as at last they parted.

Tara gasped for air. How could she have been so forward? What must he think of her?

"Are you sure you want to wait until we get married before we make love? Ryan asked, his mouth lifting sensuously.

Abruptly turning away, Tara emptied the remaining lukewarm coffee into the sink. "Have sex, don't you mean? she said sharply.

Ryan frowned. "If you prefer to call it that, it's okay with me but we're not animals, Tara. I think over the past few weeks we have learned to like and respect each other, haven't we?"

Tara leaned against the table and folded her arms across her chest. She had to hide what she really felt for Ryan. When the time came for their marriage to end, if he knew that she had fallen in love he would have concern and pity for her. She had to protect herself and her own feelings. She was far too vulnerable to a man like Ryan.

"Yes, we're getting on just fine, but I think it is pointless to hide the truth behind fancy words. I'm helping you in your bid to keep the children. You're giving me the protection of your name and standing in the community as your wife. Sex is a physical urge and for us to have sex should satisfy that urge."

Ryan shrugged. "Oh, I believe I can cope without if you find it distasteful in any way. But that wasn't the impression I received a few moments ago. You were the one turning up the heat, Tara, or was that just good acting?"

Hot colour rose under Tara's skin as she made herself stare Ryan out. "No, I like sex, she admitted softly. "And you're a very attractive man. However, I still want to wait until we are married."

"You drive a hard bargain, Tara Mason, and you have some strange attitudes, but I'm willing to wait. After all, it's only seven days."

He turned and left her. She heard him open the adjoining door to the surgery. Clutching on to the back of a chair for dear life, she wondered once again whether she was doing the right thing.

* * * *

"I knew the two of you were made for each other. It couldn't be better, Michelle sighed as she adjusted the zip of Tara's new dress.

"Of course, you should be wearing the full bridal gown, but seeing the two of you are in such a hurry to tie the knot, I guess you've had to cut a few corners. She adjusted Tara's neckline.

"It will be such a short ceremony it seemed silly to make such a fuss. Tara realised to her annoyance that her hands were trembling as she clasped the tiny earrings in place.

"You look beautiful. Michelle turned her to the full-length mirror in her bedroom where Tara was getting changed. The two men were downstairs in the lounge with the celebrant waiting patiently for the arrival of the bride.

Tara gasped as she took a long look at herself. The knee-length silk dress of the palest blue was a perfect fit, clinging to her slender waist and flaring into elegant swirls from her hips. The matching coloured earrings and necklace made the rushed visit she and Michelle had taken to Marlston very worthwhile. Michelle had spent some time with Tara's long hair, piling it high on her head but allowing stray tendrils to escape, softening the sophisticated effect. Light, strappy sandals completed the outfit.

"Do you think I need more blusher? Tara asked anxiously as she studied her pale face. Her stomach tightened at the thought of what she was about to do and yet, this is what she wanted. Wasn't it?

"Turn around and I'll pop some on although I don't think you'll need any blusher by the time Ryan gives you one of his seriously sexy looks, Michelle teased.

Tara smiled. "I hadn't realised you'd thought of Ryan as sexy, she replied, responding with her own gentle teasing.

"Not notice? You must be mad! I may be very married to my own hunky man but I can tell you that there isn't one single woman from eight to eighty who doesn't consider Ryan Wade to be the most gorgeous bloke ever. Why do you think he's got so many patients? It isn't just because he's a great doctor, you know."

"Will everyone think it strange that he's marrying an out of town nobody like me?"

Michelle hesitated and then placed the blusher compact on the dressing table, a serious expression replacing the teasing one. "Tara, don't underestimate yourself. You are lovely, you're great with Ryan's kids, and you're a terrific support for him. I'm sure this marriage is right for you both. And don't worry, I know all about the custody battle coming up. Ryan needs you, so be happy."

Michelle gave Tara a sudden hug, her eyes suspiciously moist, and Tara held her close. Yes, he needs me, but he doesn't love me.

Ryan and David were standing in front of the fire in the lounge when Michelle escorted Tara down the narrow stairs. Tara stared at Ryan, so tall and handsome in a pale grey tailored suit with a white shirt and dark grey tie. Molly and Brian had arrived and Michelle and David's son Tom stood proudly beside his father. A hundred thoughts flashed through Tara's mind as Ryan took her hand, holding it firmly in his. I wish Emma was here. She could have been my beautiful little flower girl. I wish my parents were alive - I miss them. I'm alone except for this man who is about to become my husband.

The ceremony was over before Tara knew it. Ryan's mouth covered hers in a light kiss to the applause and cheering of the small group.

"You look very beautiful, he whispered, and she smiled wistfully.

"So do you, she replied and he laughed as the champagne corks popped around them.

* * * *

There was a good deal of laughter and frivolity as the guests enjoyed a spectacular meal of prawns and smoked salmon, followed by roast duckling and finally a slice of wedding cake which Molly had made as her wedding gift. It was four o'clock and they had not long finished the "wedding feast, as Tom had called it, when it was time to leave. As they drove away from the house, Tara turned to wave at Michelle and David.

"It only takes an hour to get to Mount Russo, but I don't want to drive in the dark in this weather, Ryan said.

"Have there been heavy snow falls up there? Tara asked politely.

"Yeah, big falls. But the weather forecast is fine for tomorrow so we should get in some skiing."

Tara leaned back in her seat, willing the nervousness she had suffered since this morning to disappear. They had both changed into casual, warm clothes and loaded their cases and Ryan's ski gear into the back of the vehicle.

The locum covering for Ryan was safely ensconced in the house and they had two full days break ahead. She should feel excited. She was now Mrs. Tara Wade - Wade's woman. She was as nervous as a kitten and she knew it was mainly to do with tonight. Her wedding night when she would give herself to her new husband.

Ryan linked his hand with hers. "Are you okay? You've been pretty quiet all day."

Staring at their linked hands, Tara gave a short laugh. "I'm nervous, she admitted. "It's not everyday day a girl gets married."

Ryan gave her a quick glance, taking in the pale skin and apprehensive expression. What an idiot he was! Of course she was scared. He would have realised just how much if he'd paid her more attention in the past week. But he'd been so damned busy making sure everything in the practice was up to date and that arrangements for the wedding were in place. He had missed the kids unbearably and knew that Tara felt the same way. He'd only needed to look at her sad, lonely face to know that.

He squeezed her hand gently thinking how fragile it felt. "It is a very special day but you don't need to be nervous, Tara, he said. "There's no pressure on you to do anything you would prefer not to. Think of it as a few days break with a close friend."

Tara bit back an instant retort. You're not my close friend. You're my husband and tonight ... tonight...

"I've booked us in to have a light dinner in the restaurant tonight. I think you'll enjoy the resort. It's one of Mount Russo's best."

"I hope you didn't book the honeymoon suite."

Ryan burst out laughing at the horror in Tara's voice. "No, I didn't actually, but you are beginning to make me wish I had. When's the last time you made love, Tara?"

"I'm ... I'm not going to answer that. It's so personal."

"Yes, it is. But we are husband and wife now. Perhaps it's something we should discuss."

"I can't, Ryan."

There was silence as both of them contemplated this strange conversation. Tara was shocked at the bluntness of Ryan's questions and felt herself tightening up another notch, if that was possible.

Ryan pondered her evasiveness. He guessed that she'd had some sort of bad relationship in the past but that didn't account for her lack of family and friends or the fact that she never received any mail. For both of their sakes he needed to know what her past problems were. How else would he be able to help her overcome them and enable them both to obtain any semblance of happiness?

* * * *

Tara watched Ryan's long, lean fingers stroking the side of his wine glass. What would his fingers feel like caressing her breasts ? Such clever, beautiful healing hands. Her eyes drifted to his handsome face, half in shadow in the romantic light of the restaurant. He wasn't looking at her; rather he was watching the reflections from the roaring fire accentuating the glowing ruby colour of the wine. Oh help! It's getting late and I'm running out of small talk, she thought fighting down the sudden feeling of panic. I can't do this - Ryan isn't interested in me. I can't do it!

"It's been quite a day. Are you tired? he asked.

"No, not really. It was a lovely meal. What an inane comment. Tara cringed. The whole place was lovely including their room, with a luxurious four poster bed, two bathrooms and a lounge area. It was magnificent, but Tara couldn't wait to get out of there. She suggested they unpack later so they could look around the resort. They had drunk champagne in one of the cosy bars and met up with some English tourists to whom Ryan had talked at length about the difference between skiing in Europe and Australia. Tara had joined in the conversation, although she knew little about the subject, but anything to slow the evening down seemed a good idea. Now the time had come and there was no avoiding the inevitable.

Ryan shifted in his chair. "Well, Tara, it's been a great evening. You know almost everything about me. We've discussed the health system, movies, the kids - you name it, but you still haven't told me much about yourself."

Tara was silent.

"I know about your career. I know where you were trained. I know you're a damned fine nurse but ... what happened to your parents, for instance?"

"My mother was killed in an accident when I was three. My Dad brought me up. He died of cancer a few months ago."

"I'm sorry. Ryan touched her hand. "Any siblings?"

"No."

"Where did you live? In Melbourne?"

"A few kilometres out on a property. I drove to work each day."

"Was it your father's property?"

"Yes, well ... its mine now."

"Are you going to sell it?"

"I don't know."

Ryan reached over and lifting her hand, raised it to his lips. "Tara, sweetheart, this is like performing major surgery. You are obviously very uncomfortable about telling me anything, but here comes the ultimate question. Will you tell me what happened to make you run away? Did a man hurt you?"

"That's two questions. Tara tried to smile as she thought furiously about her reply.

Ryan waited.

"I can tell you that I was engaged to be married two years ago, but we mutually agreed that it wouldn't work out."

"And that's what you're running from?"

Tara hesitated. "No. Ryan, I can't tell you, not yet. Please forgive me."

She looked so contrite that Ryan felt he would forgive her anything at that moment. He would have to be patient a little longer, but he could feel she was learning to trust him and that was a good start.

"We don't need to make love tonight if you'd rather not."

Tara could feel herself blushing and looked around at the other tables wondering if anyone had heard Ryan letting her off the sexual hook. She leaned towards him. "Ryan, I am nervous but I do want to have sex with you, she whispered.

Ryan grinned. "So we're back to the sex thing are we? he said, standing up and helping Tara from her chair.

* * * *

Tara huddled under the duvet. Ryan was still in the shower while she was preened and perfumed, wearing a cream lace nightdress and waiting for her new husband to come to her. She had loosened her hair and brushed it until it shone and cascaded to her waist in a silky curtain.

She drew a deep, controlling breath as he walked from his bathroom, naked except for a pair of black boxer shorts around his lean hips. Oh my goodness, but he was gorgeous. She ran her eyes over his tousled dark hair, the width of his shoulders and his lean waist and long legs.

"Can I leave the light on? he asked, with a nod to the bedside lamp casting a warm glow around the room.

"If you like. Tara's voice was husky as she fought to contain her nerves.

Ryan pulled back the duvet and got into the bed beside her. It was then that he noticed her hair. His fingers touched and held the silky tresses, a look of awe on his face.

"You have the most beautiful hair, Tara, he whispered, his voice slightly gruff as he lifted some locks to his lips, pressing a kiss into their softness and inhaling the delicate perfume. "Don't ever, ever have it cut. His tone was emphatic as he caressed her cheek in a tender gesture.

"No sir, Tara replied with a shy smile as the warmth in Ryan's dark eyes burned into her very soul.

"No matter what lies in the future for us, I want you to know that I'm proud to have you as my wife."

Tara moved restlessly edging towards him. "Please, Ryan, don't talk. Just make love to me."

Ryan leaned over her, his mouth soft against her neck. Gently he pulled away her nightdress exposing her nakedness to him. "You are glorious, he murmured as he bent and suckled first one and then the other breast.

Tara arched against him as she felt ripples of desire flowing through her. She ran her hands through his dark hair and over his shoulders, marvelling in the smoothness of his olive skin. Ryan kissed his way across her rib cage and the curve of her stomach to her hip bones, his mouth and hands preparing her to receive him.

She closed her eyes, her heart hammering with anticipation. Parting her thighs, he moved over and then into her welcoming moist heat, slowly at first and then Tara urged him on, lifting her hips to accommodate him.

"Ryan, oh Ryan! She couldn't contain her cry as she felt the beginnings of her orgasm. He thrust faster as his control began to slip and when Tara convulsed around him, he was lost in his own magnificent oblivion.

Tara held Ryan tightly as he shuddered to his climax, revelling in the feel of him inside her, loving her, needing her. He lay heavily on her as they both fought to get their breath.

"You were wonderful, he sighed lying back on his pillow and pulling her against him.

Tara was quiet in his arms. As a lover Ryan was everything she'd ever imagined, and he thought she was wonderful! She could die of happiness at this moment.

"Are you all right? Ryan sounded anxious as he turned to her, stroking the hair from her eyes. "Was it as nerve-wracking as you thought?"

"You were extraordinary. Her smile was sweetly tender as her fingers traced the curve of his jaw and sensual mouth.

"As in extraordinarily good, I hope. His eyes locked with hers, flaring with a blatant, naked hunger. "Because I want you again."

Tara drew his head down to her and whispered "Then take me."

CHAPTER SEVEN

"You are a brute, Ryan Wade. Now I know where your son gets it from! Tara could hardly speak for laughing as she lay panting in the snow where Ryan had playfully tipped her after she had bombarded him with snow balls.

Ryan lay beside her, shielding her from the sparkling sun shining in her eyes as he held her prisoner, arms above her head. "Wanna make love? he asked cheekily, his eyes smiling into hers.

"Oh sure, surrounded with hundreds of holiday makers. Besides, I think it might be a little cold even for a superman like you, she teased.

He laughed as he dusted some snow from her cheek. "Wait until tonight and I'll show you what superman can do, he whispered with an exaggerated leer.

"I don't think I can wait that long, Tara replied and watched the amusement fade from Ryan's eyes to be replaced by a look of passionate longing.

"You're one sexy woman, do you know that? Ryan covered her mouth with his, their breath mingling in the cold air as she responded, wrapping her arms around him.

"How about we give the skiing lesson a miss? He gave a wicked grin and Tara couldn't resist touching his sensual lips with a gloved hand.

She wiggled from beneath him and scrambled up, brushing the powdered snow from her clothes. "Uh - uh. You promised you'd teach me. Other things will have to wait, she said, wagging a finger at him where he still lay in the snow.

"Can we play angels then? he asked with a plaintive expression as he moved his arms and legs on the snow creating a pattern of wings.

Tara gazed down at him, her eyes full of love. This was the man who had let her heart soar as they had made love last night not once, but many times. He had been tender, yet passionate, gentle yet exciting. It had given her the confidence she had lost and he had asked for nothing in return. Her tender heart had opened to him and she'd blossomed under his silken caresses. Ryan had made her feel beautiful and needed and in return, she had given him her trust and if he did but know it, her love.

Looking at him now laughing up at her, all of his troubles wiped away for a brief while, she could see the relaxed, fun-loving person he must have been before Carol so cruelly left him. Now she was seeking to destroy him by taking Emma and Ben. What if he lost the children? How would he cope? He had a dark, dangerous side to him and she didn't think his future life without the children would include a new wife.

"What are you thinking? Ryan stood up, shaking the snow from his clothes. "You have a far away look in your eyes."

She basked in the warmth of his brown eyes and spontaneously reached to kiss him. "I was thinking you look like a weird sort of snowman, she smiled, her eyes shining with mischief.

"Right, for that you will be punished! We're going to the beginners slopes and I'll count how many times you fall on your bum."

Ryan had arranged that morning to hire ski gear for Tara. They made their way to the beginners slopes where she rather apprehensively allowed Ryan to fasten her skis. She felt better when she saw how many learners there were, most of them struggling with this new skill.

Ryan couldn't help laughing when Tara valiantly tried to stay upright and instead clung to him for dear life. He realised that he wanted to use every opportunity to touch and hold her. For almost the first time since she had arrived at Glenroy Crossing, Tara was totally relaxed, enjoying the atmosphere and giggling at the most ridiculous things.

He thought of how passionate she had been in his arms last night. After she had conquered her nervousness, she had burned with a hunger for him that was insatiable. He frowned. Or would she have been like that with any man? Had she been like that with this man who had hurt her and destroyed her confidence? Jealousy bit deeply into him at the thought of another man touching her breasts, kissing her thighs, making her beg for her ultimate sexual release.

He wisely hadn't asked about her past relationships again. Sure, he'd tried to prize some information from her at dinner but she'd clammed up. Still, there would be time enough, he thought smiling as Tara and an older woman clung to each other, both shrieking as they lost control of their wayward skis. Tara was his wife and she had welcomed him into her arms. That's what mattered. Now, with her help, he would line up for the battle of his life and that was to keep his kids.

* * * *

"I'm aching all over, Tara sighed ruefully as they sat in the restaurant for dinner that evening.

"You should have let me take you to bed this afternoon and given you a massage. Ryan's eyes glinted with humour before he turned to order champagne from the waiter.

Tara made a funny grimace. "Yes, well I didn't realise we were going to get caught up. But those people were nice."

Ryan nodded his agreement. They had made friends with the older woman and her husband from the beginners session and had ended up having lunch and spending the afternoon with them.

"Good things are worth waiting for. Ryan lifted his glass in a salute to her and Tara laughed as she clinked her glass against his.

"Tell me what you're going to do to me? she asked, lowering her voice conspiratorially.

"Well, I'll fill the spa bath."

"Yes."

"Then I'll undress you very slowly, kissing and touching every part of you.

"Go on."

"Then I'll lift you into the spa and soap every inch of you. Afterwards, I'll dry you with warm, fluffy towels and lay you on the bed."

Tara took a swallow of champagne. She could feel herself growing hot as Ryan's soft, deep voice continued to woo her.

"I'll massage you with a special cream, making sure I get to all those aching, beautiful muscles. When you're nice and relaxed, I'll lick my way through the cream to paradise."

"Ryan! Tara looked shocked. "What sort of cream are you talking about?"

He grinned. "I thought one of those really high in fat frothy creams that you have with strawberries, he teased, ducking as Tara threw her serviette at him.

* * * *

Later that evening, Ryan came close to following his sensual scenario except they were both so aroused that Ryan had barely closed the bedroom door before they began to tear off their clothes and tumbled onto the bed.

"Do you know how much I wanted you out there in the snow this morning, Tara Wade? Ryan lay with Tara on top of him, both of them recovering from their frenzied lovemaking.

"And do you know how much I wanted you this afternoon when that waitress kept flirting with you, Ryan Wade? Tara replied, kissing and stroking his chest.

"And do you know I nearly lost it and lunged for you across the dinner table, particularly at the look on your face when I mentioned strawberries and cream?"

Tara laughed, leaning over him so that her long hair created a silken cocoon around his head. Ryan threaded his hands through it, his eyes studying her face feature by feature as if he was transferring them to memory. Tara blushed with embarrassment at such close scrutiny and her lashes lowered.

"Look at me, Tara. Ryan's voice was soft but demanding.

Tara forced herself to meet Ryan's eyes.

"Are you still shy with me?"

"Only when you look at me like that. I know I'm not as lovely as Carol or indeed, lots of the women you must know, and it makes me self-conscious."

Ryan made a strange sound in his throat and then kissed her with great tenderness. "I don't care about other women. I don't care about looks. You are perfect just the way you are."

"I'm too thin."

"Tara, stop demeaning yourself. In fact, I've noticed you seem to have put on a couple of kilos. Ryan smiled as he kissed her again.

"You know how to make a woman feel special, don't you? Did they teach you that at Med School?"

"No. But they did teach me that one must always follow up on diagnosis and treatment so - I think it is time to have that spa."

* * * *

It was late morning the next day before they got to the ski slopes. They had slept in and decided, upon waking, to have brunch in their room. Tara's aches and pains had eased after Ryan's avid attention to detail on the previous night, although he had refrained from using cream but rather massaged her with perfumed oil which Tara had found extraordinarily sensual.

Her spirits rose when Ryan suggested she could go on the pill rather than him using protection. "Do you mind? he had asked.

"No. I've been on the pill before. She could have bitten out her tongue when Ryan levelled a strange look at her. Still, she had been engaged to be married. Surely Ryan would understand that? But it gave her hope that perhaps he saw their relationship as longer term.

She wondered how long the custody case would take and was torn with the agony of knowing that their marriage would then be over. Ryan had kept his promise and the day prior to the wedding had handed her a legal document stating that the marriage could be terminated by either party on the outcome of the custody case.

"Do you mind if I have a couple of hours skiing on the other slopes? Ryan asked. They stood outside of the resort on another glorious gold and blue morning, the sun reflecting blindingly on the crisp snow.

"Absolutely not, Tara replied, resisting the urge to lean into his arms. She wanted him every moment of the day and night. She was obsessed with him. "Ruth has asked me to have a coffee with her in the Balcony Café."

Ryan glanced along the outside café area where Ruth was comfortably seated and gave her a wave. "Okay, but make sure you've got sun cream on. You'll get easily burnt in this weather."

"Yes, Doctor. Tara gave him a playful punch on the arm and Ryan grabbed her, pulling her close to him.

"I'll miss you, he murmured, pressing a kiss on her soft mouth.

"Me too. Be careful, Tara replied, her heart pounding at his nearness.

Ruth and she spent a pleasant hour drinking coffee and chatting idly. Ruth's husband had walked down to the village in the valley to "buy me a surprise for our wedding anniversary, Ruth declared gleefully.

Tara closed her eyes and was almost dozing in the sun, lulled by its warmth, when she was jolted from her relaxed state by raised voices from the foyer area. Then one of the receptionists was running towards her.

"Mrs. Wade, do you know where your husband is? There's been an accident on the mountain and they need medical help."

Tara shot upright in her chair, the blood draining from her face. "What sort of accident? she breathed, feeling strangely calm although her stomach had clenched into a tight knot. "My ... my husband is already up there skiing."

"One of the cables holding the chair lifts has snapped and two chairs have fallen. Others are hanging, just stuck in mid-air."

Both Tara and Ruth had risen to their feet horror written across their faces. "Are people hurt? Tara almost shook her as the girl's eyes filled with tears.

"Yes, we think so. The ski patrols are on their way and the emergency services have been called."

"Let them take me up there, Tara demanded. "I'm a nurse and I'll bring my husband's medical kit."

The next few minutes passed in a frenzy of activity as Tara raced to their room and grabbed Ryan's medical bag, plus a couple of blankets. The receptionist must have told one of the ski patrols what was happening because a man was waiting for her, revving up his snow mobile at the ready.

Clutching the kit, Tara held on for dear life as they took off in the powerful vehicle, making good progress across the snowy terrain heading towards the upper slopes of the resort.

Please, oh please, don't let Ryan be hurt, she prayed. Ahead, she could see four other ski patrols racing across the snow.

Tara gaped at the sight that met her eyes as they drew close. The chair lift, which normally carried the skiers to the summit, stood eerily silent as chairs hung languidly in the still air. One of the huge cables dangled to the ground where a chair had crashed, lying in a tangled mess. Another chair was balanced at a precarious angle about a hundred feet about the ground with two skiers clinging desperately to their seats. She could hear the cries and calls from the other skiers trapped in mid-air, afraid that they might also tumble to the earth.

"Let Ryan be safe, she muttered aloud as she and her driver ran towards the chair on the ground. It was surrounded by the ski patrol officers in their bright red and black uniforms with large white crosses on their backs.

As they parted to allow her in, she nearly collapsed with relief as she saw Ryan kneeling beside one of the injured people. He looked up as she flung herself beside him already undoing the medical bag.

"Are you all right, Ryan? she gasped, all fingers and thumbs in her haste as she studied the extent of the man's injuries.

"Yep. I was skiing nearby and saw the accident, he replied, giving her a brief, tight smile.

"Can we help you, Doctor? one of the ski patrol officers asked. "I'm Jack and we're all trained in advanced emergency care, he said, nodding to his colleagues.

Ryan was still examining the unconscious man but began to issue orders as he continued to work. "Right. There are three people on the ground. I've already examined the woman over there and she's dead. This man is suffering a serious head wound, which is my priority. Don't move the child there. I think she has a broken back. Just get her warm for now."

"Yes, Doc. We have emergency rescue on the way to try and get those people down. He nodded to the two clinging to the chair which was hanging by what appeared to be a strand of steel cable.

"You need to shout up and reassure everyone that they're going to be okay, Ryan urged.

Turning, he glanced at Tara. "Work with me, sweetheart. His airway is clear but his pulse is erratic. I need a compression bandage for this head wound."

Tara didn't speak but quietly followed Ryan's directions, placing a wad and bandage in his outstretched hand.

"Check his blood pressure. Ryan pressed the pad against the gaping wound and bandaged over it, holding it tightly in place as Tara managed to check.

"One hundred over sixty."

"Okay. Let's get a line in."

Tara shivered with the cold as the sun went behind a cloud. She handed Ryan a cannula, and he placed it in the top of his patient's hand and attached a saline bag.

"Good. Jack, can you wrap this guy in thermal blankets? He's lucky; I can't locate any other injuries except where he's hit his head. The snow cushioned his fall."

Ryan and Tara gathered the medical equipment to move over to a small girl lying a few feet away. She looked about twelve years old.

"Did the woman hit those rocks? Tara whispered, glancing at the layered ridge of jagged rocks behind them.

"Yes. She didn't stand a chance. But that bloke and, hopefully, this little one are going to make it. Ryan knelt by the child who was already covered in thermal blankets. She moaned softly.

"Hello, sweetie. I'm Ryan. What's your name?"

"Erin. Are my Mum and Dad all right? the girl asked anxiously.

"We're looking after them, Erin. Tara broke in, blinking back the tears as she realised the dead woman must be Erin's mother.

"I want to examine you, Erin, and then we'll get you to hospital. You're going to be fine, Ryan added, as his hands gently ran over the child's body and limbs.

Ryan and Tara worked side by side, Tara checking Erin's blood pressure and setting up a drip.

"Have you got a board and a collar, Jack? Ryan shouted and Jack quickly produced them from his emergency snow mobile.

"Three rescue helicopters are on the way. ETA five minutes, he reported.

Ryan nodded as he carefully fastened the collar around Erin's neck. "These two patients need to be air lifted as soon as we can, he said, swearing softly as they levered the back board under Erin's slight body causing her to scream in pain.

"Can you prep a low level morphine shot, Tara? This kid is really going to feel it when we have to winch her to the helicopter, he said in Tara's ear.

As he spoke, there was an ominous creaking sound above them. Tara looked up, along with everyone else, as the chair suddenly fell another fifty or so feet, jerking to a halt with the two desperate skiers still clinging for their lives.

"Doctor! Miss! Get back! That thing is going to fall directly on you, Jack shouted, panic in his voice.

"Get out of the way, Tara, Ryan yelled.

"No! We can move the child, Tara cried, rapidly pulling the straps across Erin's body, fastening her securely to the board.

"Move it, Tara! Ryan lunged across the distance between them and threw Tara backwards in the snow. He then grabbed the stretcher and lifted it away. He was just in time as the chair lift crashed down on the spot where they had been kneeling seconds ago.

"God Almighty! Ryan turned and saw that Tara was unharmed as she got up shakily from where Ryan had thrown her.

Everyone rushed to the two skiers, both of whom had jumped clear as the chair had plummeted the last few feet.

Ryan stopped to check Erin as Tara crawled over beside him. "Give her the morphine, Tara, he said with a quick, reassuring smile at her. "I'll check the two guys who have just landed in our laps."

Tara soothed Erin, who was now crying softly. "This will make you feel nice and sleepy and when you wake up you'll be safe and warm in hospital, she said, smiling at the young girl as she injected the pain killing drug.

It was only a couple of minutes later and Ryan was back at her side.

"How are they? she asked, screwing up her face as she prepared for the worst.

"Both fine, believe it or not. They are two athletic young men who, by some sort of miracle, landed safely in the soft snow. One has a sprained ankle, which I've strapped. The other is okay except for a few soft tissues injuries. Both are in shock."

"Thank God they survived. Tara looked up as the sound of helicopters filled the air.

"You stay with Erin and I'll supervise her Dad's retrieval. And her Mum's, Ryan added, his expression grim.

It was three hours later and beginning to get dark before Ryan and Tara returned to the resort. They had seen their patients carefully winched up to the retrieval helicopters to be flown to hospital and had then watched anxiously as rescue teams in helicopters plucked scared and cold skiers from their perilous positions on the crippled chair lifts. Ryan and Tara, along with the emergency crews, had treated many of the skiers for shock and some for mild hypothermia. By the time the last person was seen the area had become a circus with the arrival of media units, mixing with police, ambulance and other emergency personnel.

"I think a stiff brandy is called for, Ryan said as they stood outside the reception area shaking the snow from their clothes and boots.

Tara couldn't answer. Her mouth trembled and her eyes filled with tears as the realisation hit her again that it could have been Ryan lying with his head smashed in or his back broken. She gave a tiny sob, trying to control her feelings.

"Hey, it's all over now, sweetheart Ryan took her in his arms. "You're in shock, that's why we're going to have a drink at the bar and then go upstairs where you're going to have a hot bath."

"You were so calm, so together, she whispered into his neck. "You could have been killed."

"Well, I wasn't, but it's nice to know you care, he said lightly, trying to ease the tension. "And I'm sorry I chucked you out of the way when the chair was about to crash. Did I hurt you?"

Tara shook her head. "No. I've just got another bruise on my bum to add to the ones from yesterday."

Ryan laughed, kissing her hair. "Come on. I think there will be a few people recovering themselves in the bar, he said, guiding her through the foyer.

The bar was crowed with everyone discussing the dreadful accident. A loud cheer went up when they saw Ryan and Tara. Ryan acknowledged it with a casual wave of his hand.

"Straight brandy for you, he said, placing the glass in Tara's hand.

She gave him a shaky smile. She looked up and saw a man on the other side of the room staring at her, and her expression froze. No, it couldn't be. Was she hallucinating? It was Tony, the man who had persecuted her for the past two years.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Tara blinked and looked again. He was gone. She looked frantically around but there was no sign of him. She must have imagined him.

Ryan was talking to two of the emergency workers as they discussed the hot topic of what could have caused the cable to break and were there better ways that they could have handled things. Tara, still afraid that she had seen Tony, unconsciously drew closer to Ryan, who placed his arm around her waist.

"Ready to go to the room? he asked as he turned to her. "You look drained. His concerned eyes moved over her face.

"Yes, that would be good."

"The bloke in charge of emergency services has asked me to attend a debrief in an hour, but you don't need to go."

Normally Tara would have preferred to be part of such a debrief, particularly since she hadn't been involved in this type of accident before. But she decided she wanted the privacy of their room and the nurturing care of her husband. Her new husband, who still knew nothing of her past. Dear God! She hoped he never would.

"That's fine, she replied, sipping the remainder of her drink and feeling the warmth spread through her.

Upstairs Ryan filled the spa while Tara slowly undressed. She already felt better, but whether this was the effect of the brandy she wasn't too sure.

"It's all ready for you, Madam, Ryan smiled, his hands caressing her shoulders through her bathrobe as she sat at the dressing table twisting her hair around the top of her head.

Tara clasped his hands, drawing them down to cover her breasts. "I'm so glad you're here, she whispered, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

Ryan slipped his hands inside the robe, touching and stroking her. His clever fingers stimulated her nipples and aroused her so that she arched back, longing to feel his body against hers.

"Make love to me. She turned into his arms. "I want you."

Ryan's dark eyes flared as he slowly undid the tie of her robe exposing her naked body. His arousal was instant and complete, the passion between them exploding as they stumbled to the bed. Stopping only to reach for protection, Ryan took her, their union fast and passionate as each of them seemed to realise how close they had come to death on this terrible afternoon.

Afterwards Ryan continued to stroke her, running his finger tips along her arms and across her stomach. "Phew! I'm hot, he murmured against her throat. "Give me a warning so I can get my clothes off next time."

Tara laughed, realising that Ryan had been more affected by the traumatic events of the afternoon than he was letting on. He had trembled in her arms as they had made love, almost as if it was for the last time and he was drawing comfort from her closeness.

"You're a very passionate man, she sighed, running her hands through his thick hair. "Who am I to say no when faced with such an invitation?"

"I think that should be my line. Ryan sat up, removed his clothes, and then pressed his warm, naked body against her. "And I think we should have that spa followed by a room service dinner tonight, hmm?"

Tara nodded her agreement and Ryan lay back on the pillows and shut his eyes. He was used to Tara's silence now. It had worried him at first until he realised it was the way she was and it was part of what had attracted him. There was a quiet strength about her and yet she was able to readily mix and respond when required.

He'd worried tremendously as the wedding had drawn near and he had watched her tighten up - becoming nervous and withdrawn, but really it had been only with him. With the children she had been as open and welcoming as always, encouraging their hopes and achievements. Ryan believed that Tara was almost as upset as he was at the thought of losing them. But here in this magical, different place as his new bride, he'd been delighted that she had rejoiced in their lovemaking. Her quiet ways had disguised a beautiful creature who was sensual and giving and who had welcomed him into her arms and into her life.

He cursed silently that the terrible accident had marred this time together. Although she had once again been passionate and loving, something of today's trauma had affected her. There was an underlying reserve that he couldn't fathom. Could she still be in shock? Even though both of them had seen many dreadful tragedies, he knew that it could still take its toll.

He thought about his near stupidity of a few moments ago when at the very last moment he'd remembered to grab a condom. How dumb and thoughtless to put Tara into potential jeopardy and yet the idea of her carrying his child filled him with excitement and a strange burning glow of pride. Tara would make a wonderful mother. She was one already to his precious angels. But she had more or less told him that she wanted their marriage to end when they knew the result of the court case. He wondered if she would still stay with him whatever the outcome. Whether it was as his wife or as his nurse, he didn't care. He wanted her. But then, hadn't Carol always called him selfish? Perhaps he was. Grabbing and keeping the things that he considered his.

Pushing her face into Ryan's neck, Tara felt his arms tighten around her. This is what I need. To be with this man who is so full of compassion. I know he cares for me; I know he enjoys making love to me and that will have to be enough. She closed her eyes, her thoughts drifting through the horror of the day and yet strangely enough it was the fleeting vision of Tony's face that upset her the most. She knew it hadn't been him; just someone who looked a little like him and it was such a brief glimpse - an easy mistake to make. She'd covered her tracks so carefully. No one knew where she was, up here in the High Country - hiding. Hiding from her past, from the man who had bullied and harassed her. From the man who had threatened her life. From Tony, her own step-brother.

She pressed closer to Ryan and then realised he'd drifted into a deep sleep. Gently outlining the shape of his sensual mouth with sensitive fingers, she pondered whether she should tell him about her past and the reason she had run away from Tony and her step-mother Julia. But surely Ryan had enough to worry about when they returned home? His children were his priority, not her.

* * * *

"You've entered this information incorrectly, Tara. Ryan frowned as he stared at the computer in front of him.

Tara and Lauren exchanged knowing glances as Tara sighed and moved closer to check. They had been back from their brief honeymoon for only two days, but Ryan had launched into his work with a vengeance. He had been short tempered with Tara and the others in the surgery and none of them quite knew why. The children were due to return at the weekend in three days time, and while Tara knew that Ryan missed them, she couldn't comprehend his mood swings from the loving, caring man of just a few days ago.

"I can't see a problem, Tara responded, aware that Lauren and the reception staff were listening closely while pretending to get on with their work.

"I prescribed twenty milligrams of Lopressor for Mr. Casey, not ten."

Lauren broke in. "That's my fault, Ryan, not Tara's. I must have made a mistake when I was bringing the records up to date."

Turning towards her, Ryan glowered. "I don't expect mistakes, particularly when we're dealing with peoples lives, he snapped. "Tara, I need your help with the next patient. Come into my office."

Dutifully following him, Tara closed the door behind her, wondering if she should make a comment on his bad mood. However, Ryan gave her no opportunity to speak as he placed a file on his desk.

"This is a new patient and I need to fill you in. He spoke rapidly, impatience colouring his voice. "Thelma West is in her late seventies and has Paget's disease. I assume you're familiar with it?"

Twisting her hands nervously, Tara tried to decipher Ryan's mood. Why was he treating her like this? "Well ... I know it's a bone disease, she replied hesitantly.

"Correct. It's also known as osteitis deformans. Mrs. West has an advanced form of the disease which is affecting much of her body but particularly her vertebrae and leg bones. She is almost wheelchair bound and has recently moved into the area to be with her sister, who is also her caregiver."

"What's the treatment?"

Tara studied his profile as he flipped over the pages of the medical file in front of him. How she loved him! The way his dark hair curled at the nape of his neck, his sensual lips that had given her such pleasure, now pursed in concentration as he studied the file. His long, elegant fingers tapped impatiently on the desk as he continued to read.

"She's been treated by specialists in Brisbane where she's been living, who have prescribed non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. It appears they're not helping the joint pain anymore. Because she wanted to move here to be with her sister, the specialist has handed her over to me."

Ryan stopped as there was a gentle knock on the door. "Mrs. West is here, Lauren explained opening the door wide to admit an elderly white-haired lady with a determined expression on her face who proceeded to guide her wheelchair into the office.

Ryan greeted her and introduced Tara. "Isn't your sister with you? he asked.

"She's outside, came the gruff reply and Tara could see that the woman's face was grey and worn with constant pain. "I don't want her any more upset than she already is, Doctor Wade. Now, tell me straight; can you do anything for me?"

Ryan drew his chair close to her and Tara watched as he began to work his magic on an obviously difficult patient. "Mrs. West, I've read your specialist's report. I gather the pain killing drugs you've been taking aren't helping."

"I may as well swallow fruit drops for all the good they're doing me. The reply was to the point.

"You know that drug treatment can't reverse the disease, Ryan began to explain.

Mrs. West leaned forward in her chair grimacing and interrupted him.

"Frankly I don't care about that. I've been to every damned doctor and specialist you can name and they can't help me. I've left the warmth of Northern Queensland to be here with my sister Janet, the only family I have left. I was born in the High Country and I'm going to die here. But I want to die with dignity in my own home. Now, are you going to help me or not!"

Ryan was quiet for a moment and Tara realised that he was thinking through the best way to handle this stubborn but proud woman. "I notice that Janet has one of the cottages on the edge of town."

"Yes. And a ramshackle old place it is, but it's our home. We don't have much money so I can't afford to pay for expensive treatment. Janet can't even afford to have the phone put on. Suddenly her mouth trembled and Tara's eyes filled with tears as she watched the old woman trying to control her emotions.

"It will be all right, Mrs. West. There are probably new drugs out by now and I'm sure Doctor Wade and I can help you, Tara blurted out aware that Ryan was frowning at her.

Mrs. West clutched hold of Tara's hand as if it was a lifeline, all her bravado slipping away. "It's not the way we planned, my husband and me, she said looking into Tara's sympathetic face. "Alfred wasn't supposed to die and leave me here as a burden on my sister and other people. I don't know what to do."

Tara moved forward to place comforting arms around her when Ryan motioned her away, his eyes glittering with suppressed anger. His voice was crisp as he addressed his patient. "Mrs. West, there are quite a few things we can do to help you. We may be able to slow the progress with bisphasphonates, which your specialist has recommended we try."

"What about the cost?"

"Let me look into that. We will need to monitor your response to these drugs by means of blood tests. Nurse Wade will visit you regularly to administer these."

"You mean, come to the cottage?"

Ryan nodded. "She'll also take on some of the duties that Janet won't be able to manage, such as baths and massage and generally ease your pain and make you feel more comfortable."

For the first time a glimmer of a smile crossed the old lady's face and she awkwardly patted Tara's hand. "You don't mind visiting a feisty old girl like me? she asked.

Returning her smile, Tara squeezed her hand. "It will be my pleasure, Mrs. West, she said softly.

"Also, with your permission, I'd like to contact the social services department, Ryan continued. "I think you and Janet should be receiving more assistance than you appear to be getting. Certainly you need a phone."

"Bless you, Doctor. I feel like you are the first people who've wanted to help. Mrs. West gulped deeply with emotion. "Are you his woman? she suddenly asked taking Tara by surprise.

"Tara is the practice nurse, Mrs. West. She is also my wife. Ryan's tone once again was clipped and Tara wondered if he was ashamed to admit that they were married.

"Yes, I heard you'd married again. So you're Doctor Wade's woman, dear. Mrs. West gave a faint chuckle and then groaned again with pain. "Well, you'd better bung some of this new drug into me, Doctor, before I make a fool of myself and pass out."

It was another ten minutes before Ryan had finished treating Mrs. West and had entered her details on the computer. Tara wheeled her out of the office, met Janet in the waiting room and made arrangements to visit the next day.

"Nurse Wade, I haven't finished with you yet, Ryan called and Tara returned to his office still mystified by his changing moods.

"What's the matter?"

"You are, Tara. Ryan leaned against his desk, his arms folded across his chest; his eyes cool as he watched her.

"I don't understand. Why?"

"I'm not sure whether I've explained this previously, but your standing as a professional should make it unnecessary for me to say this."

Tara felt her temper rising but instead of feeling nervous as she had previously, she was angry. "Ryan, I have no idea what you're talking about. Her blue eyes sparked furiously as she faced him across the room.

"You may be my very new wife but here in this surgery you are just a nurse who happens to work for me."

"Just a nurse. How dare you! She stepped closer. "And what has this nurse done that has upset her Lord and Master so much."

"You interfered with a diagnosis."

"I did not."

"What was all that talk about new drugs which we could give to Mrs. West?"

"Well, you did put her on something different, didn't you?"

"But you didn't know that at the time. In the future, leave the decisions to me and don't let your emotions carry you away."

Tara controlled her anger with difficulty. Where had her loving husband gone? In his place was the bitter, brooding man that she had met on her very first night. What was happening to them? Not trusting herself to speak and unable to withstand another bout of his scathing words, Tara swung away and slammed the office door behind her.

Hardly noticing the surgery full of patients, she rushed into the rest-room and stared at her face in the mirror. The colour was high in her cheeks and her eyes welled with tears. What had gone so wrong? She didn't believe that she had overstepped the mark. Perhaps she shouldn't have mentioned about the possibility of a new drug to help Mrs. West but, for heaven's sake, the poor woman had needed some form of comfort.

Cooling her hot face with a towel, she made her way to the kitchen where Lauren was busy making morning tea.

"Are you okay? Lauren asked curiously.

"Yes, fine thanks."

"You'd think Ryan would be in a great mood, wouldn't you? Lauren said, pouring hot water into the waiting coffee mugs.

"Why? Tara asked in pretend innocence.

Lauren laughed. "Oh, come on, Tara. Anyone can see that the two of you have clicked, even if you only had a couple of days away. You're positively blooming."

Fighting the blush that rose in her cheeks, Tara vigorously stirred her coffee. "Well, except for being involved in the most disastrous ski accident for years, yes, we got on okay, she said, with a wry smile.

"Then I don't understand why he's biting everyone's head off. He was like this when Carol first left him."

Tara closed her eyes as the shock of Lauren's comment struck home.

"Oh, not that it's anything to do with you, Tara, Lauren hastily continued. "But if you could have a word with him, it might help. I mean, we all work really hard and absolutely adore Ryan but at the moment he's being a pain in the you know what!"

Nodding her agreement, Tara moved away. Lauren was right and she should ask Ryan what the problem was. Not now when they were both so steamed up, but perhaps tonight. Not that there had been anything amiss with regard to the physical side of their relationship. Ryan couldn't seem to get enough of her and her love for him grew more each day as she revelled in his lovemaking.

* * * *

That night, after finishing the washing up following one of Molly's wonderful dinners, Ryan reached for her, his hands around her waist. Once again Tara melted beneath his touch as he pressed himself against her.

Placing her hands against his chest, she looked into his face. "Ryan, I don't want to make love. Not yet. We need to talk."

Ryan smiled, his hands tenderly cupping her face. "Talk? What's that? he said huskily, his eyes hungry for her. "Do you realise we've yet to make love in the kitchen?"

Tara quivered at the thought of Ryan's possession, making her feel special, making her feel wanted. She gasped as he lifted her against him, making her aware of his arousal.

"Please! This is important, she pleaded, even as her arms crept around his neck

Ryan sighed. "Okay. So talk to me, he said with a look of resignation.

"We had that terrible argument at work today and yet you haven't even mentioned it. It's like it never happened. And everyone is saying how bad tempered you are. No one seems to be able to do anything right for you, especially me, and it's creating a tense atmosphere. The words came with a rush before Tara lost her courage as her heart thumped with anxiety.

Ryan released her and turned away, but Tara clutched at his arm. "Tell me what's wrong. Do you regret marrying me, is that what it is? I could understand if only you'll tell me."

"Could you? When he turned to face her, his expression was so bitter that Tara stepped back in alarm.

"If you must know, there was a letter from Carol waiting for me when we got back. She said that she and her husband are moving to the UK, and they intend to take the kids with them."

Tara gasped in dismay. "But she can't do that!"

Ryan poured himself a glass of wine from the left over bottle they had shared at dinner. "Yes, she can if she wins the case. But there were implications in the letter that she has no intention of returning the kids on Sunday. Whether it was some sort of weird joke to wind me up, I'm not sure, but for all I know she could be planning to take them out of the country any day now."

Gripping more tightly on to his sleeve, Tara stuttered in her anxiety. "She ... she ... you must let the police know, Ryan. This ... this is against the law."

Taking pity on her distress, Ryan placed his glass on the table and drew her into his arms. "Shh, sweetheart. I've already advised my lawyer who is making sure the correct authorities know, but Carol is so irrational I'm not sure what she'll do."

"But she can't take them out of Australia without their passport clearance, Tara said, her hands balling into fists of frustration against his chest.

"You're spot on. However, she could hide them somewhere in Australia."

Tara stared at Ryan in amazement. How could things have gone so terribly wrong to create this horrendous tug of war for two little children?

"So, my love, Ryan continued. "I apologise if I've been like a bear with a sore head. I must admit I was annoyed with you in the surgery, but I shouldn't have spoken to you as I did."

Tara laid her head on his chest. "No, you shouldn't. Next time I'll punch you in the nose."

Ryan laughed. "It won't happen again. I have no excuse except that I have been going out of my mind thinking about Carol's letter and I won't feel comfortable until Emma and Ben are safely delivered here on Sunday."

"Oh, Ryan. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me about the letter? I could have shared your worries."

"I don't always feel like telling you everything, Tara, he replied bluntly. "Just like you refuse to tell me about your past and that's okay. I understand that you want to keep some things private. Well, this debacle with my kids is very personal and it hurts like hell. I find it difficult to talk about and I certainly don't feel like unloading all my troubles on to you or the others."

Tara drew away feeling hurt that he couldn't talk to her. Yet she had treated him in the same way, when he had asked about her past and if anything was troubling her.

"The other thing I should mention is a number of anonymous emails I've received in the last two days - about you."

Startled, Tara's eyes widened. "What sort of emails?"

"Pretty nasty ones actually, telling me to watch out, that I had married a slut and a whore."

CHAPTER NINE

Ryan chewed at his bottom lip as he saw the stricken look on Tara's face. As usual he was handling things badly with her. He'd been too blunt, too brutal, and had hurt and frightened her.

He stepped forward intending to reassure her, but Tara held up her hands in a defensive gesture and moved to the other side of the kitchen table.

"Don't ... don't. Give me a moment, she whispered and his heart contracted as he watched the distress on her face.

"Tara, it's all right. They're not worth bothering about."

"Are they from Carol?"

Ryan shrugged. "I assume so, although she must have arranged for someone to do it because Carol wouldn't even know how to switch on a computer."

"Can you trace them?"

"I've tried. Whoever sent them must have done it through an internet café or similar. I can't track the address."

"Do you believe it?"

"What?"

Tara raised a trembling hand to her face as she stared at her husband with a strange look of defiance. "That I'm a whore."

Ryan did move then and, ignoring her stiff, unyielding stance, drew her against him. "Of course I don't believe it, you silly goose, he murmured, his lips caressing her forehead. "I think it's Carol being nasty, and she's arranged for someone to send them, probably Glen. I'm going to report it to my lawyer so it certainly won't help her case."

Tara relaxed slightly, taking comfort in Ryan's arms. "I'm sorry, she whispered, her lips pressing against the strong column of his throat. "I shouldn't have married you. I'm making matters worse. Perhaps Carol still loves you and is jealous?"

Ryan gave a bittersweet smile as he gazed down at her. "Carol never loved me but she could be jealous just through sheer bloody mindedness. She is probably sending emails and writing letters to rattle us so I'll give in regarding the kids. What she doesn't realise is that she's creating more problems for herself than me. This harassment isn't going to look good in court."

Tara placed her arms around Ryan's neck as she looked steadily into his dark eyes. "I know this is a terrible time for you Ryan, but I hate it when we argue. I will help you in every way I can, but please don't close me out."

Ryan's expression was exquisitely tender as he kissed her soft mouth. "It's a deal, he murmured against her lips. "I'll apologise to the others tomorrow for being such a grouch, but I'm not always the sweetest tempered guy when I'm working. They should be used to that by now."

Tara wagged her finger at him. "Yes, but you were particularly bad today, she said, smiling at his look of pretend innocence.

"I'll make it up to you if you'll let me. His kiss was a promise of the passion to come.

* * * *

The next morning, true to his word, Ryan apologised to his staff, who were instantly forgiving and sympathetic. Work progressed as normal although Tara had now taken on the responsibility of regularly visiting Thelma West. She found that the old lady could be rude and cranky, but underneath Tara recognised the pride that Thelma had to swallow to accept the help she needed. Underneath that grumpy arrogance, she could see the generous heart of gold that so many of the High Country people seemed loath to show.

Over the next two days, Tara visited a number of her patients. Thankfully most of them lived in or close to the town. Ryan had expressed his concern when he realised she was driving out to visit Harry and Edna Norman, but Tara insisted, saying that was her job. Besides, the weather, although cold and with snow on the ground, remained fine with sunshine and blue skies.

On Saturday Ryan was on call and was away for a good part of the day attending an accident at one of the ski resorts where a young woman tourist had fallen and broken her leg. Tara used the time to give the house an extra clean and sparkle. She went to the toyshop in the town and bought a Barbie doll that she knew Emma had coveted for a long time. For Ben, she couldn't resist a cuddly koala even though he had many soft toys. After making up their beds, she lovingly placed the wrapped presents on the pillows ready for when they came home the next day.

At last Sunday arrived and Ryan paced the floor of the living room like a caged tiger. He knew Carol and the children had left early that morning as he had rung Carol on her mobile. In fact, this had been the only means of communication he'd had with his children. Carol had allowed him to speak to Emma on several occasions in the past three weeks. The little girl had seemed happy enough, but at the end of each conversation with her father she had burst into tears and asked when she could come home. Her tears had torn Ryan apart and Carol would snatch the mobile away from Emma and berate Ryan for upsetting her.

On his last phone call that morning, he refrained with difficulty from asking Carol about her letter and why she had sent the abusive emails, deciding it would be wiser not to argue but to leave it to the lawyers when the time came.

It was mid-afternoon when Carol's car finally drew up outside the house. Ryan was there in a flash, gathering his children to him while Glen, who had been driving, helpfully lifted the children's cases from the boot and carried them inside.

Tara had chosen to keep out of Carol's way but was waiting in the kitchen when Emma rushed through bursting with excitement, throwing herself into Tara's open arms.

"I gather congratulations are in order."

Tara looked up, her face flushed from Emma's exuberant kisses and hugs, to face Carol's malevolent stare as she stood at the kitchen door.

"Tara, Tara, guess what? I was sick in the car, the little girl said proudly, hopping around as she pulled at Tara's jumper.

"Were you darling? Are you all right now? Tara stroked the child's shining hair, concern in her eyes.

"She's fine. I can look after my own child, thank you, came the cutting reply.

Tara didn't know what to say. Ryan came in holding a sleeping Ben tucked under his arm, followed closely by the docile Glen. Ryan placed his other arm protectively around Tara's shoulders.

"Say goodbye to your mother and Glen, Emma. They have to go, he said sharply.

Carol glared. "Don't think because you've suddenly married your little nurse that it's going to help your case, Ryan."

Ignoring her snide remark, Ryan addressed his daughter again. "Emma, I think you'll find a surprise waiting for you in your bedroom. Emma spun away from her mother and rushed to her room.

"Nothing has changed. You always were a bastard, Carol snapped. "Come on Glen; let's leave these so-called lovebirds to it. She grabbed Glen's arm and hauled him along the passage to the front door.

Ryan, still holding Tara at his side and Ben in the crook of his arm, followed them out. "Thanks for bringing my kids home, he called. "See you in court."

The door crashed behind them. Ryan and Tara turned to face each other.

"I don't know how you keep your cool, Tara said with a certain amount of awe.

Ryan smiled. "Neither do I, quite frankly. You don't do so badly, either."

Touching Ben's rosy face where he lay nestled against his father's chest, Tara felt an overwhelming love for this beautiful man holding his little boy so tenderly. Lowering her eyes to shield the sudden rush of emotion, she said, "Only because I'm non-confrontational. I can't think of anything to say when someone attacks me like Carol does."

Ryan caressed her cheek. "You could have fooled me, he said, with a mock grimace. "You've certainly put me in my place a few times lately."

They exchanged knowing smiles and then turned as Emma came bustling up with her new doll clutched importantly in her arms.

"Oh, thank you, Tara. Thank you, Daddy, she said as Tara lifted her in her arms with a pretend groan and they all cuddled together. "Will you be my Mummy now you've married my Dad? Emma asked with the innocence of youth.

"Tara will be your second Mummy, Ryan said quickly as Tara hesitated.

"Daddy, I was sick in the car and my first Mummy said rude words. You know, real swear words."

"Would you like a drink of cordial, Emma? Tara diverted Emma's attention as Ryan endeavoured to smother his laughter.

* * * *

Tara snuggled close to Ryan in their warm bed after they had made fiery love.

"God! I feel so relieved! he said.

"I don't think that is a very romantic thing to say, she teased, running her fingers across his flat stomach.

Laughing, Ryan leaned on one elbow and looked down into her face, lit by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. "You know I didn't mean it in that way, you imp. I meant having the kids home."

Tara touched his chiselled cheekbones and straight, perfect nose, then the slight cleft in his stubborn chin. "Oh, I know what you meant, she sighed, wondering at this man who had just made love to her with total abandonment. "You love them more than anything, don't you?"

Ryan nodded, and she watched as his expression grew misty. "I can't explain it, but to have two little people that are part of me, relying on me to care for them, to love them, is like no other feeling on earth."

"Even though Emma's not your daughter?"

Ryan blinked at the sudden question. "It doesn't matter. Emma is like my own. She is my daughter and I love her too much to let Carol take her away. His eyes suddenly filled with tears and Tara felt her heart lurch at his agony.

"You're truly a magnificent man, she whispered reaching up and kissing his eyelids.

"No. I'm not, Tara Wade. It's you who are magnificent. You, who have given your love so generously to my children. You, who have comforted me and put up with my bad moods..."

"Shh. You'll make me blush, Tara smiled, overcome.

"It's you who have let me make love to you, given yourself to me so unselfishly, he continued, his fingers stroking her throat.

Tara quivered in anticipation of his lovemaking as he bent his head and suckled her breasts. Warmth shot through to her very core as his fingers found her most secret place. Suddenly he lifted her above him and as she sat astride him, he entered her, filling her. Tara flung her head so that her hair cascaded down her back as he moulded her breasts and waist with urgent hands.

"You are beautiful, he whispered huskily as she moved slowly on him, controlling him. He reached for and caressed her hair, smoothing the long strands over her body. He watched in awe at the pure joy on her face as she climaxed, her body pulsating around him.

I've fallen in love with you, my darling, he thought as he felt his control slipping and he reached his own pinnacle. Tara collapsed against his chest and he held her, supporting her. I've fallen in love with you, Tara, he repeated in his mind. But, I can't tell you - not until you are able to trust me; trust me with your secrets.

* * * *

"Molly, this sounds a very odd thing to ask, but have you put any of my undies away in a different place? Tara felt embarrassed asking the faithful housekeeper such a question.

"No. I never touch your personal things, Tara. You know that, Molly replied indignantly.

"I know. It's just that several pairs are missing from my drawer."

"Ask Emma. Perhaps she's been playing grown ups, if you know what I mean."

"I expect she has, Tara laughed.

But Emma hadn't taken her undies. Tara was puzzled and even went as far as to ask Ryan, who thought it was a huge joke. "I don't have a knickers fetish, he teased, laughing even more at Tara's look of embarrassment.

The next day Tara walked along the town's main street thinking she would have to buy some more panties. She had just come from her regular visit to Thelma and Janet West's cottage and this morning had taken blood samples, which were to be sent away to gauge how Thelma's new treatment was progressing.

She had been delighted that Thelma's joint pain had eased considerably. Tara had helped this by gently massaging the tender joints with special analgesic creams.

She was about to cross the road to the lingerie shop, when she was stopped by Lisa Jeffries, the local hairdresser.

"Hello, Mrs Wade, how are you? I wish you would come and visit my salon sometime. I'd love to get my hands on that lovely hair of yours."

Startled by this direct approach, but willing to be friendly, Tara replied with a smile, "If my hair is so lovely, why would you want to get your hands on it, Lisa?"

"Oh, you know what I mean, dear. I wouldn't cut it or anything. Just trim the ends. After all, your young man told me you'd never let anyone cut it."

Tara's heart suddenly bounced and her face felt tight as if the cold had frozen it in time. "My young man? You mean my husband?"

"No, dear. Your young man from back home. Melbourne, I think he said. Here to visit you. He had a cuppa with me in the coffee shop earlier this morning. Ever so nice he was. Told me all about your Dad dying and you being left all that property... Lisa Jeffries voice droned on but Tara scarcely heard what she was saying.

Tony! Tony was here in Glenroy Crossing. It had been him at the ski resort. He had found her! Oh, God!

"You'll have to excuse me, Lisa. I'm running late. It's been nice to talk to you. Tara hardly knew what she was saying as she almost ran from the other woman, her boots crunching in the snow as she made her way along the street towards the surgery.

Instead, she went into the house, closed the door quietly, and made her way to her bedroom.

"Is that you Tara? She heard Molly shouting along the passage.

Taking a deep, controlled breath she called back, "Yes. I've just come to fetch something, that's all."

She leaned against the door, wondering for a moment if she was going to faint. She knew Ryan was working in the surgery next door and Emma was at school, while Molly was looking after Ben.

Pushing away from the door, she sat on the edge of the bed, trying to gather her wits. What should she do? Should she tell Ryan? Her eyes moved around the room as she fought her rising panic. Tony had been here, she was sure. He had taken intimate items of hers to frighten her. And it was working! Her glance fell on the photo mounted in a heavily embossed frame sitting on the bedside table. It was of Ryan holding a younger Emma in his arms, both of them laughing into the camera. Peering more closely, Tara saw that the glass had been removed and that Ryan's face had been mutilated with the criss-cross strokes of a pen.

Her hands trembled as she stared at the ruined picture. Tony was showing that he had been in their room, had looked at and touched their things. And finally showing that he had the power to destroy her marriage. She would have to tell Ryan now, and the police. There was no other way.

She jumped violently as the phone by the bed rang loudly and insistently. Some instinct made her grab the receiver before Molly could answer the extension downstairs.

"Tara Wade speaking. Her voice was low as she tried to control her shock and fear.

"Yes, I heard you'd got married, Tara, my sweet. That's unfortunate. It was Tony; she would know his voice anywhere.

"What do you want, Tony? I know you've been here. I'm ringing the police. She spoke sharply although her heart was beating so loudly she was sure he must be able to hear it.

"Tara, darling. There is no need to be so dramatic. Heavens above, the last thing I want to do is to harass you, particularly now you have a husband and a couple of kids... He paused for effect.

"All mother and I want is to sort out your father's estate, he continued. "Will you meet me so we can discuss it and come to some sort of agreement? I promise then that you'll never hear from me again."

Tara hesitated. Tony was at his most charming and persuasive, as she knew he could be. Hadn't she nearly fallen for that charm two years ago? But if he meant what he said, perhaps they could come to an arrangement. After all, he could no longer bully her into marrying him.

She thought quickly. How she could see him without arousing suspicion from the nosy but well meaning town folk of Glenroy Crossing?

"I'll meet you in Marlston at the Blue Moon Café at two o'clock. Even as she made the appointment, she wondered if she was doing the right thing. But Marlston was far enough away, and she had promised Lauren that she'd pick up some surgical supplies from there in the next couple of days. She would sort this matter out once and for all with Tony. She couldn't keep running and hiding from him. Ryan would be none the wiser. He had enough on his plate with terrible problems of his own.

"That's fine with me, darling, Tony replied silkily. "See you there."

The line went dead and Tara stared at the receiver. I can't believe I've agreed to this. But I have to stop this persecution. Even if Ryan wants to end our marriage in the future, I need to be free of Tony and his ghastly mother, my stepmother.

Tara checked her watch. It was twelve thirty already, and both Ryan and David would be busy in the surgery with the patient lists. Fortunately, it was one of Tara's days for home visits and she was due to go to the Norman's this afternoon. She would still have time to go there after she'd met with Tony.

Rinsing her face in the bathroom sink, Tara patted it dry. She looked pale and scared. Tony would know that he still had power over her. It showed in her eyes, in the trembling of her mouth and her vulnerable expression. She took a few precious moments to put on some eye makeup, blended blusher into her cheeks and coloured her lips with a brighter than usual lipstick. She straightened her coat with a determined tug. Blast you, Tony! You are not going to intimidate me. She rushed along the passage and straight into Ryan's arms.

"Whoa! Where are you going to in such a hurry? he laughed, grasping her arms to steady her.

"I'm ... I'm late for the Normans, she blurted out, ducking her head to avoid eye contact with him.

Ryan frowned. "I thought that was later today, he said, lifting her chin, his narrowed gaze taking in her newly made up face.

"Um ... it is. I promised Lauren I'd pick up some supplies first in Marlston, she mumbled, her eyes glued to his mouth.

"Well, the road reports are good, but drive carefully, won't you? Ryan pressed a kiss on her soft lips and frowned again as Tara hurriedly drew back.

"I'll see you this evening, she called as she closed the front door behind her. Standing for a moment she felt overwhelmed with guilt. Why hadn't she told Ryan then? But how could she expect him to understand the complexities of her relationships with Tony and Julia.

Tony stood politely as she hurriedly entered the Blue Moon Cafe just over an hour later. You could hardly have missed him. He was a tall man, almost as tall as Ryan, but with light brown hair and blue eyes. He was handsome on the surface. It was only when he revealed his nasty, bullying nature that another kind of man emerged. But right now he was on his best, most charming behaviour as he held her chair for her to sit down. He'd chosen a table near the large plate-glass windows over-looking the street, which made Tara hesitate. But she was only having a coffee with the man, for heavens sake!

"It's good to see you again, Tara. I'm glad you've still got your beautiful long hair. I've always loved your hair. In fact, I love everything about you. I still have no idea why you ran away from me, he said, after placing an order with the hovering waitress.

"You should have a very good idea why I left, Tony, and you have continued to spy on me now that you've found me, so don't act so innocently. You were at the ski resort and you've also been in our house. I know you have. Tara decided that the best form of defence was attack and she felt a fleeting moment of satisfaction at the look of surprise on Tony's face.

He held up both hands in mock defence. "Yes, I admit to that and I'm sorry if I've upset and offended you. Quite honestly, I didn't know how to handle the situation."

"Don't give me that! You handled it the way you've handled everything in the past two years ever since my father married your mother. By bullying and harassing me to marrying you. You can now add stalking to that list."

Tony leaned towards her, his face inches from hers. Tara refused to move back; refused to show she was afraid. "Matthew died leaving my mother, his wife, destitute and giving his precious, spoilt daughter everything! His house, his property and all of his money."

Tara stared into Tony's malevolent blue eyes knowing she would never win this argument. She had lost count of the number of times they had fought over this, both Tony and Julia shouting at her, trying to bend her will to theirs.

But she was damned if she was going to sit there and once again listen to Tony saying terrible things about her father. Keeping her voice low, she hissed at him, "Julia was cruel to my father and you know it. Why, in those weeks before he died, she didn't bother to nurse him. He wasn't fed or washed and he was treated in the worst possible ways imaginable. I know because he told me and that's why I ended up staying home from work to look after him. You were both waiting for him to die so you could get your greedy hands on his money. He knew it and that's why he decided to make me his beneficiary."

Tara's eyes filled with tears as the impact of her father's dreadful, lingering death hit her again. Would the hurt and agony of that time ever go away?

She flinched as Tony's hand stroked her cheek. "It didn't have to be like that, Tara. When Julia and Matthew first met and married, I was sure the two of us could make a go of it. I know you loved me."

"That's not true! Yes, I liked you well enough in the beginning but I never gave you any reason to think there could be anything romantic between us. Tara's eyes blazed into his as he calmly sipped his coffee.

"You're wrong, he said coolly. "You were still hurting from the break-up with your fiancé. You never gave us a chance."

"Mark and I parted amicably. I've told you this. We weren't suited, just like you and I weren't suited."

"So you have to do something really stupid like marrying some country hick GP. God knows why! We had so much in common and could have been happy. We worked together at the hospital and could have gone on living on the property. Julia would have been secure for the rest of her life, which is only what she deserves. She is getting old, Tara and becoming frail. Now, because you're about to evict us, I'll have to find another house for Julia and me and cause her no end of distress. I think the upheaval will kill her. You'll be responsible for her death! He moved his face even closer. "You may treat me like dirt and think you're too good for me, but Julia was Matthew's wife!"

Tara swallowed, his outpouring striking fear in her heart. Nothing had changed. He was still a dangerous bully. She decided to try a compromise. "I will let you and Julia stay there as long as I can but you know my father made me promise to sell the house and land..."

"You won't need to do that, if you'll come back and live with us. Tony thumped his fist on the table causing the cups to rattle and some curious glances from the few other people in the café. "Matthew made you promise so he could spite my mother. He was vindictive to the end. Julia should never have married him, but she thought Matthew truly loved her."

Tara played with the teaspoon, tapping it gently against the saucer. It was true that a few days before he died her father had told her she was his sole beneficiary and had made her promise to sell the property. He had explained in detail the hell of his short second marriage and how he had realised that Julia and Tony wished him dead. At the time Tara knew that what her father had planned would cause uproar with Julia and Tony and she now understood why Tony had been so desperate to marry her.

"Do you love this guy, your new husband? Tony broke rudely into her thoughts.

"Yes, I love him, Tara answered without hesitation, looking directly into Tony's face. As she spoke, the realisation hit her with such a force she was sure it must show on her face. She knew that she loved Ryan and wanted to live with him for the rest of her life if he wanted her. She hated Tony and Julia for what they had done to her father and wanted only to get away from them. And there was only one way to do it. Tears hovered on her lashes as she thought again of her father. Dad, please forgive me for breaking my promise but I know you will understand.

"Well, he's on to a good thing, isn't he? He not only gets a beautiful wife, but also a very rich one into the bargain. You must both be laughing your way to the bank. Tony's manner had turned nasty again. "But if you think I've been stalking and harassing you, then you haven't seen anything yet. Sort this out or I will make you and your husband's lives a misery. I'd be happy to start by making up a few more explicit emails about you and sending them to the good doctor. I'm sure he'd enjoy reading more about the teasing whore he married."

Tara gasped. She could see now that nothing was going to stop Tony getting what he wanted and she needed to protect her family. They were more important to her than any money; they were all she cared about. Her mouth tightened as she tried to hide her hatred of Tony.

"This afternoon I will contact my lawyer and arrange for everything - house, land and money - to be signed over to you. In return, I never want to see you or hear from you again. As she said it, Tara felt a great weight lift from her shoulders. At last she would be free.

As for Tony, such was his greed that his expression lit up with delight and, grasping her face between his hands, he kissed Tara long and hard on her mouth.

"You've made the right decision, my sweet, he cried as Tara pulled away, a mixture of horror and disdain written across her features as she stood up, pulling her coat protectively around her.

"I'll contact you as soon as I receive the documents from the lawyer. It will only take a few days, she said sharply wondering if she was in danger of passing out in front of him she felt so horrified and sickened by his greed.

Tony stood also. "You have my mobile number, I'm sure. I'm actually staying at the Great Alpine Ski Resort having a little holiday. I will expect to hear from you very soon, Tara. His voice carried a warning as Tara turned to leave. "Don't let me down, darling, he threatened with a cruel smirk. "Or I'll take pleasure in completely destroying your nice little game of happy families."

Tara shivered as she drove away. She knew it wasn't because of the cold, but rather a reaction to the dreadful meeting with Tony. She turned the car heater on full blast and gradually began to relax. God! Why hadn't she done this when her father had first died? It would have saved so much agony, and he would have understood. To withstand the perpetual harassment day and night from Tony and Julia had been almost more than she'd been able to bear.

Tony's quest to marry her so he could gain control of her father's fortune had even continued at the hospital where they both worked. Tony was employed as an administration officer, but that hadn't stopped him from seeking her out in the wards or tracking her down in the cafeteria. He was always there. Her work colleagues thought they were an item involved in a lover's tiff as she constantly tried to avoid him.

When she had taken time off work to nurse her dying father, then Julia had incessantly berated her, planning and scheming for the time when her father would die. Tara could feel tears running down her cheeks as she turned on to the Glenroy Crossing road. Blindly she pulled over on to the hard edge of the roadside and reached for the tissues in her bag. After she had dried her eyes and blown her nose, she felt much better and even gave a rather hysterical laugh of relief. She was nearly through this ghastly nightmare.

She sat thinking through the scene in the café and automatically rubbed at her mouth trying to rid herself of the feel of Tony's lips on hers where he had kissed her in delight of at last breaking her down. At least it proved he didn't care about marrying her. He was only interested in the money.

Pulling out her address book, Tara scanned for the lawyer's phone number in Melbourne who had handled her father's estate. Within minutes she had phoned him on her mobile and made arrangements for the transfer of everything into Tony's name. The lawyer had certainly been shocked at her decision and questioned her closely about it, but Tara was determined to go through with it. The lawyer said he would arrange to send the papers by registered mail as a matter of urgency. Tara would need to have a person in public office, such as a police officer, to witness her and Tony's signatures on the two documents.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she finished the call. To be free of Tony and to save her marriage would be worth every cent.

Driving on, she felt calmer. By the time she'd turned to drive down the bumpy, snow-covered lane to the Norman's cottage, she was in control. The elderly couple was delighted to see her and she spent some time checking Harry's blood sugars and recording his other obs. She made sure that Edna had plenty of anti-inflammatory tablets to help with her arthritis and enjoyed a cup of tea and a piece of Edna's fruitcake. By the time Tara managed to get away, it was dark and beginning to snow.

Tara cursed under her breath as she jumped into the vehicle and fastened her seatbelt. She decided she would phone Lauren and re-assure her that everything was fine, when the mobile suddenly rang.

"Yes?"

"Where are you? It was Ryan's crisp voice that answered. He sounded angry. "The weather is turning bad. You should have been back an hour ago."

"I'm just leaving the Norman's, Ryan. I won't be long. She was sure she sounded guilty.

"Be careful, came the abrupt reply and then Ryan rang off.

Tara arrived at the house an hour later. She parked the car in the garage and made her way through the back door. It had been a more nerve-wracking drive home than she cared to admit, with the snow falling heavily for the latter part of the journey. She'd had to slow to a crawl, afraid that she would have an accident otherwise.

The house was warm and welcoming as Tara hastily pulled off her outer clothes and boots. She was surprised to find Molly in the kitchen preparing dinner for the two children.

She gave both Emma and Ben a hug and then turned to the housekeeper. "I'm sorry to have kept you, Molly. Isn't Ryan here?"

Molly gave her a resigned look. "Yes, but he didn't want me to go until you arrived in case he was called out and there was no one to stay with the kids."

"Oh, I see."

"He's in the study, but I should warn you, Tara, he's in a strange mood."

Tara patted Molly's arm. "Don't worry, I'll go and see him, then take over cooking the dinner. Won't be a moment."

With a sinking heart she made her way to the study. Surely Ryan couldn't be angry with her? Something else must have happened. Ryan was seated at his desk but stood up and, leaning one arm against the mantelpiece, watched her as she closed the door.

"Sorry I'm late, Ryan, she said softly, her eyes absorbing his brooding, dark expression.

"I won't beat around the bush, Tara. When we arranged to marry, you asked me to be discreet regarding any relationships I might have, and I agreed."

Tara nodded, wondering where this conversation was heading.

"I didn't realise at the time that I should have requested the same courtesy from you."

"I don't understand."

Ryan turned and stared into the fire. "You were seen with your lover today. You were seen kissing and fondling each other openly in some café in Marlston."

"But..."

Holding up his hand to silence her, Ryan continued in the same cool tone. "I don't care particularly if you've arranged for your boy friend to come here, but I do care how it appears to other people and how your behaviour may hurt my children."

"Ryan, you've got this all wrong. Tara placed her hands to her face in dismay as she stepped towards him.

"I don't think so. The person who told me is very reliable. I just want you to know that you won't have to bear with this marriage for much longer. The custody hearing has been confirmed for next Friday. After that, I want you out of my life for good."

CHAPTER TEN

Ryan turned his back on Tara making unnecessary adjustments to the files on his desk. He couldn't quite believe he had said those harsh words and yet he was so angry, nothing could have stopped him. No, he wasn't angry, he was mortally wounded. Tara might just as well have thrust a knife into his heart the way he felt. He believed Michelle explicitly. She had no reason to lie. What she had told him about Tara and this man had torn him apart.

Of course, he'd been through it all before with Carol, but nothing had prepared him for the searing pain of Tara's betrayal. He had learned to trust her, to look forward to every moment when he could be with her, touch her. He had fallen in love, damn it, and he would never forgive her for her deceit.

"Ryan, please let me explain. It isn't how it seemed. Tara moved forward, her eyes filling with tears as she pleaded with him.

"Don't make things worse by making excuses, Tara. I thought we had something special growing between us - and I don't mean sex. I mean a special bond that would give our marriage a chance no matter what the outcome of the case. You've just blown it. Ryan could feel his throat constricting as he said the harsh words, the look of agony on Tara's face all but destroying him.

"You owe it to me to listen to what I have to say, Tara gasped, gripping his arm.

"I don't owe you anything! Ryan snapped as once again he thought of some man having sex with his wife; caressing and loving her and Tara responding. A red haze of jealousy clouded his vision and he felt out of control as he flung her hand away from him.

Tara was determined not to give up so easily. "Whoever told you this man and I were together misread what they saw."

"Really? Ryan was now frighteningly cool as he watched Tara's pleading eyes and trembling mouth. "Do you mean that he didn't caress your face?"

"Well, yes but..."

"And he didn't kiss you on your mouth?"

"Yes! But not like you think."

"Oh, spare me, Tara! I don't want to hear your lame excuses. If you can't keep your hands off each other in a public place, then how can you expect me to believe there is nothing going on?"

Tara stepped back, her heart sinking. In the mood Ryan was in he wasn't going to give her a chance to explain. It was impossible! He was angry and bitter but if only he would listen to what she had to say, she would tell him everything.

"So, you won't allow me to explain? You have such little trust in me that you have made your decision about our future? Now it was Tara's turn to be cool although her voice still trembled.

Ryan shrugged, dismissing her questions.

"Very well, if that's what you think, I'll move into the end bedroom. I'm sure you can't bear to touch me and that's fine with me. I'll go and see to the children. She spun away, rushing from the room and missed seeing the pain in Ryan's face.

He sank into the chair and leaning his head in his hands, felt tears choking his throat. "Oh, Tara, how could you do this to us, he whispered.

* * * *

They spent an uncomfortable evening, although both of the children claimed much of their attention.

Tara returned to the kitchen and took over from Molly, serving dinner for Emma and Ben.

When Ryan appeared he'd looked pale but, without a word, began feeding Ben, allowing Tara to serve dinner. They ate in silence, but Emma was so busy chattering to Ryan about her day at school, that their silence went almost unnoticed. When the children were in bed, Ryan disappeared into his study leaving Tara alone with her heartache.

She fought back the tears as she stared unseeingly at a program on television, wondering whether she should try and speak to Ryan again. But she knew deep down that it was hopeless. He had been cheated and lied to by his former wife and now his lack of trust had placed her in the same position as Carol. He believed that Tara was cheating on him and it would appear that there were no second chances for her. He wanted to end their marriage, and soon.

Tara went to bed in the spare bedroom and curled into a miserable ball under the duvet. How she missed Ryan's arms around her, loving and caring for her. She had hoped that he would forgive her and come to her, but the hours went by and there was no sound from Ryan's room. The happenings of the day kept churning around in Tara's mind. She realised that Ryan's attitude had made her even more determined to carry through her plan to give her inheritance to Tony. She wondered what she would do when she left here, but decided that right now she was so unhappy that she didn't care. Near dawn Tara drifted into an uncomfortable sleep, only to be shaken awake by a noisy Emma telling her that Ben needed his nappy changing.

Over breakfast Ryan was polite to her and acted naturally with his children, teasing Emma and patiently mopping up a beaker of milk that Ben had spilt.

Now they had to work together for most of the day and Tara wondered how she would survive being close to this man she loved and knowing how much he hated her.

This morning was the normal time put aside for the day surgery outpatient session. Tara began automatically preparing the area, making sure that all of Ryan's instruments and dressings were in place

"What have we got today? he asked, looking over the notes on the desk.

"A stye infection, and then you need to check the stitches from the cut to Mrs. Raynor's leg, Tara replied in the same cool and professional tone that Ryan had used.

"Lauren tells me there's a sunburn case coming in from one of the resorts."

"Yes."

Ryan glanced at Tara's face. She looked so miserable that he had to physically stop himself from reaching for her and drawing her into his arms. God! What a mess! Could he forgive her? She had never told him that she loved him all of the time they'd been together. When he had held her and kissed her and made love to her, she had never once said she loved him. I only need to lose my kids to Carol and my useless life will be complete. Everything I love will be gone.

The first patient was a young man, Richard Green, who owned the local garage. His left eye looked very painful and was swollen with pus from a stye at the root of an eyelash.

"Hmm. I think we'll need some antibiotics for that, Ryan remarked as he scrubbed his hands in the basin. "Lie on the operating table, Richard, and I'll get rid of the pus that's built up."

Tara placed a surgical gown around Ryan, her hands shaking slightly as her fingers inadvertently touched the nape of his neck as she tied the tapes. Ryan didn't seem to notice her hesitation as he pulled on his gloves.

"This won't take a moment, Richard. I'm going to remove the eyelash and release the muck that's collected, then place an antibiotic directly on the stye and surrounding skin. As he spoke Ryan set to work and quickly performed the minor procedure while Tara assisted him.

"Gee, thanks, Ryan. That feels better already. Richard sat up and went to place his finger to the sore spot. Tara quickly caught his hand.

"Richard, you can easily re-infect yourself. You must avoid touching your eyes and keep your hands clean. Don't share or re-use any personal items such as facecloths or towels."

Grinning at her, Richard gave a mock salute. "Yes, Ma'am ! Hey, who needs you, Ryan, with your gorgeous nurse around, he said, jumping down from the table.

Ryan gave a grim nod. "Even so, I'm writing you a script for an oral antibiotic. Make sure you finish the course."

Tara lowered her lashes and felt the colour rise in her face at the hard look she'd received from Ryan.

Script in hand, Richard happily departed. Tara had only just finished tidying up when Lauren showed in the next patient. She was Debra James, an attractive young woman in her early twenties with an obviously quirky sense of humour as she plonked herself in the chair opposite Ryan. "I suppose you can see what the problem is, Doctor. I'm on holiday at one of the resorts and the sun was so warm that I thought I would get a tan."

Ryan lifted the girl's chin and studied her face, which was very red and inflamed. "Yes, an unfortunate case of sunburn."

"My face is only part of it, she said and standing up, pulled off her ski jacket to reveal a very brief top. "I've burnt my back and my breasts. I'd no idea the sun could do this in winter. She pulled down her top revealing more sore, red skin. As Tara watched, she realised that Debra had moved close to Ryan and was openly flirting with him, treating him to coquettish smiles.

"You're lucky. You have very fair skin but these aren't severe burns and haven't blistered. However, I'm sure they're very uncomfortable. Ryan moved away. "I have another patient to see, but my nurse will advise you on the treatment, he said, turning towards Tara. "She'll also provide you with a spray that contains a topical anaesthetic, which will help."

To Tara's astonishment Ryan left the two women together. Debra was clearly disappointed. "Wow! What a yummy dish! she declared. "Do you think I frightened him off showing my boobs?"

Tara suppressed a smile. How she could see humour in anything at the moment? "I think Doctor Wade is a little busy at present, she said in her most professional manner. "Now, I have a leaflet here which will help you with your sunburn care, but basically don't go in the sun, drink plenty of fluids and take lots of cool baths. Compresses should help to ease the pain and here's the spray Doctor Wade referred to."

Debra giggled as she struggled into her jacket. "Thanks. You're nice. And tell that handsome doctor not to worry. Any fool can see that he only has eyes for you!"

* * * *

Looking back, Tara wasn't sure how she got through the day. Ryan and she had seen another four patients, all requiring minor surgical procedures, and Ryan had remained polite but cold towards her. Gone was the exchange of glances full of caring and teasing fun that they had shared previously. Within a day he had become a stranger. He had closed her out of his life.

His anger surely meant that he cared for her; or could it be that his pride had been hurt to think she had a lover. She wondered who it was that had seen Tony kissing her. Ryan had said it had been a reliable source, but she knew without asking that he would never tell her.

At lunchtime she looked anxiously at Lauren who was sorting through the mail. How long would the documents take to get here? The lawyer had promised to send them urgently.

"Is there anything the matter? Lauren looked up enquiringly as Tara hovered around the reception desk.

"Uh ... I'm expecting a letter. Would you make sure I get it as soon as it's delivered please?"

Lauren smiled. "No problem but there's nothing for you today. Are you looking forward to tomorrow night?"

Tara looked at her blankly. "What?"

"It's Sir Ralph's cocktail party and dance, silly. Don't say you've forgotten about it. Everyone's going to be there."

How could she have forgotten? The girls at reception had talked of nothing else for the past couple of weeks. It was the social event of the year, when most of Glenroy Crossing's adult population congregated at the mansion of the local squire and his wife, Sir Ralph and Lady Monica Carstairs. It was a joint celebration of the ski season and an excuse for the locals to mix and mingle, creating a feeling of comradeship in the midst of the High Country's rugged winter. Lauren had told Tara about it when she'd first arrived, but with the activities of the past few days she hadn't given it another thought.

"I'm sorry, but I won't be able to go, she said, her tone apologetic. "I'll need to baby-sit. I expect Ryan will be going."

Lauren leaned across the desk. "Tara, are you nuts? Of course you're going. Ryan has arranged for Molly's eldest daughter to baby-sit. She'll be fine with the kids."

"But, but... Tara was stuck for words. How could she go to this event with Ryan treating her with such disdain?

"Ryan's on call, Lauren continued, happily chatting away. "But hopefully it will be a quiet night."

Tara ploughed through the afternoon, taking regular blood tests from her personal patients, checking and re-doing dressings, and instructing two of Ryan's pregnant patients on the importance of a correct diet and good intake of folic acid. One of the patients was finding it very difficult to give up smoking and Tara spent some time with the anxious woman, advising and encouraging her.

At home that evening everything appeared normal as Ryan bathed Ben before his bedtime while Emma played with her Barbie dolls in the lounge. Tara stood at the bathroom door watching him slosh water over Ben's sturdy back as the little boy shrieked with delight

Tara cleared her throat. The sight of this man whom she loved so much tenderly caring for his son did strange things to her heart. How she would miss him and the children when she had to go. Ryan was tough and unforgiving. He had forgiven Carol for her affair and then she had run away, betraying his trust yet again. Now he believed that Tara had also betrayed him and there seemed no way to reach him. He didn't want to know.

"Ryan, about this party tomorrow night. It seems pointless for me to go. I'll stay home with the kids. Her voice sounded odd and high pitched, while her knuckles showed white where she gripped the door handle.

Standing up, Ryan slowly turned, wiping at the splash marks on his shirt with a towel. "You're coming with me."

"Why? You don't want me there."

"No. I don't. But people will gossip, as you've already found out. I'm not going to allow anyone the opportunity of saying we are anything but a loving couple."

Tara stiffened at his attitude. "And what if I say I won't go?"

Ryan lifted the wiggling, wet Ben from the bath and wrapping him in a huge towel, held him close against his shoulder.

"We're nearly there, Tara. Next week I will know whether I can keep my kids and you can be released from this farce of a marriage to go to your lover. We need to present a united front at the party. I'm asking you, not for my sake, but for the sake of Emma and Ben, to cooperate for a few more days."

He didn't plead but was clever enough to tap into Tara's vulnerability as she gazed at Ben, pink and rosy from his bath, nuzzling into his father's neck. Yes, he knew she would put his children before anything. She loved them almost as much as he. Without thinking, she reached for Ben, kissing his soft, little face.

"Emma wants you to read her a chapter from Harry Potter, she said, blinking away the tears that welled in the eyes. "I'll see to Ben. And yes, I'll come with you tomorrow. She turned away before she broke down in tears again, carrying Ben to the nursery.

* * * *

The next morning Tara hung around the surgery finding things to do in her office as she waited with trepidation for the mail to arrive. She was due to leave shortly to visit Thelma West at the end of the main street and was also scheduled to make several other home visits.

Peering out of the window, she frowned at the miserable weather. Although it wasn't snowing, it was bleak, with a bitterly cold wind blowing. She had heard nothing from Tony, thank heavens, although she had nervously checked and re-checked the house for any evidence that he had been there.

"Is this what you're waiting for? Lauren dropped a large, official-looking envelope on to Tara's desk.

"Oh, thanks Lauren. Tara tried to appear casual as her heart pounded in her chest. She waited for Lauren to leave, ignoring her curious glance, and then tore open the package. It was all there, everything the lawyer and she had discussed. On the top was the all important letter which, when signed, meant she had given away her inheritance. There were two copies of everything and now she had to contact Tony and arrange a witness to their signatures.

"You'd better get going on your rounds or you'll be late everywhere, Lauren called from the doorway as Tara hastily stuck the papers into her bag. Hells Bells! How was she going to manage this without arousing suspicion? She needed to contact a policeman or another lawyer or even a Justice of the Peace.

She quickly pulled on her coat and gloves and gathered up her bag containing the precious documents, plus her medical kit. She felt like a criminal as she took her list of patients from Jane, one of the receptionists. Glancing over the long list she realised she would never have the time to arrange to meet Tony today. She would have to ring him and let him know.

Thirty minutes later Tara felt a little better. From the privacy of her vehicle she had managed to contact a Justice of the Peace who lived on the outskirts of the town. He had agreed to witness the papers and assured Tara that all information would be in confidence.

She had then rung Tony's mobile, her stomach giving a nauseous heave at the sound of his voice.

"That's good, Tara, he said softly as he wrote down the address of the justice of the peace. "I was beginning to think that you were spinning me a yarn and you know that I wouldn't like that, don't you? Once again the veiled threat hung in the air and she quickly rang off. Now she would need to think up some excuse to get away from work at four o'clock tomorrow.

* * * *

Ryan straightened his tie as he checked it in the bedroom mirror. He hated wearing suits, but everyone dressed up for this one special night of the year. He wondered what Tara would wear. He hadn't seen her since this morning at breakfast when she had been subdued, but he'd watched her face light up as she'd listened to one of Emma's long, convoluted stories. He knew he was being a bastard to make her come with him to Ralph and Monica's party, but, damn it, if it meant the slightest difference to him keeping the kids, he didn't care. Carol's friends would be there tonight, watching and waiting to report every glance, every word, and he wasn't taking any chances.

Putting on his suit jacket, he ran a hand across his jaw, staring at his reflection. He looked how he felt, angry and bitter. For the umpteenth time he asked himself why Tara had betrayed him and so openly, in a public place. He desperately wanted to know who the man was that she had met and to whom she had shown such romantic affection. Affection that he thought she was only giving to him. Surely she had shown it in so many ways, particularly since their time at the resort when she had been so loving and caring, so sensual.

He frowned into the mirror. He didn't know whether he loved or hated her; all he knew was that he couldn't bear to hear any more lies from her lips. He shrugged. It had been great while it lasted, but soon it would be over.

"I'm ready whenever you wish to leave."

He swung around at the sound of Tara's voice and stared at her standing in the passage. A huge hand squeezed his heart. She was beautiful! She wore a simple black dress with tulip shaped sleeves, which emphasised her long neck and graceful, white shoulders. The dress fitted her figure perfectly, moulding her full breasts and small waist. It flared at the hips to just below her knees. On her feet she wore elegant silver sandals.

"I hope I won't be cold, she whispered and Ryan suddenly realised she was embarrassed as he continued to stare. Her makeup was perfect and she had coiled her long hair into a sophisticated chignon.

He moved towards her. "It will be warm there, but make sure you ... make sure you wear your big coat. You look nice, Tara. He could feel his voice tighten as he looked into her face. He wanted her! Hell! Why couldn't things have been different? Why couldn't she love him?

Tara studied him in turn, her expression deliberately detached while she could feel her body trembling with need for him. He wore a dark navy suit with a pale blue shirt and toning tie. He was magnificent! And he wanted me; just for a moment. I saw it in his eyes just then. I saw the hunger that he couldn't hide but it was lust, only lust. He feels nothing for me and can't trust me. He won't even let me explain about Tony. So, Tara, make this your last hooray. I'll make you proud of me tonight, Ryan Wade.

The huge country mansion belonging to the Carstairs was set on the hill behind the town and was ablaze with coloured lights as they drove up. People were arriving from all directions and the place was buzzing with noise and excitement.

Ryan had effectively put his mantle of charm into place, which he seemed to do so easily. With his hand around her waist, he shook hands with their hosts. Tense with nerves she briefly massaged her temples as she felt the beginnings of a headache. How was she ever going to make it through this evening?

But somehow she did, and Ryan had made it easy for her. He rarely left her side but had still managed to enjoy the fun and activities. Tara realised that she knew most of the people there and started to relax and feel at home. If only this could remain my home, here in Glenroy Crossing and I could stay here forever ... with Ryan. They were surrounded by some of their favourite patients. She saw that everyone held Ryan in the highest esteem, almost treating him like a God and yet he was natural and genuine with all that he met. In the distance she spied Michelle and David, but for some reason didn't get the opportunity to talk with them. At around ten o'clock, after the feasting and drinking and the anticipated speech of goodwill from Sir Ralph, the band played for dancing. They were playing a slow, romantic mood number when Ryan asked her to dance.

"You don't have to dance with me, she said softly, so others couldn't hear.

"Why wouldn't I? Ryan said, drawing her into his arms.

She stumbled slightly, her hear racing at his closeness. "I'm not a very good dancer, she apologised, feeling flustered.

"Tara, relax. I'm your husband, remember?"

Looking into his eyes, Tara could think of nothing else as Ryan's face changed from his mask of politeness to one of infinite longing as his eyes moved over her face coming to rest on her mouth. "I made a mistake earlier when I said you looked nice. Big understatement. You're beautiful, he murmured, his lips lightly touching hers.

Tara sank against him, resting her head against his shoulder. "Oh, Ryan, do you think there's still some hope for us? she whispered, her heart lifting.

"There could be. Do you love me? he asked, taking her by surprise by the sudden question. She looked into his face, her love for him shining in her eyes.

Before she could reply someone rudely pulled at her arm. Ryan and she both turned, and Tara gasped as she looked into Tony's grinning face.

"You don't mind if I have a dance with your lovely wife, do you Doctor?"

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Ryan was the first to recover. "I don't think we've met, he said smoothly, holding out his hand.

"No. We haven't. I'm Tony Martin, an old and very ... close friend of Tara's."

The two men shook hands but Tara could feel Ryan's body tense as he continued to hold her against him. She felt as if she was frozen in time as her mouth went dry and she floundered for something to say.

"It's entirely up to Tara whether she wishes to dance with you, Mr. Martin, Ryan said but as he looked at Tara she knew what he was thinking almost as if he had said it out loud. This is your lover, go to him; it's over between us . She could have cried out right there in the middle of the dance floor for the cruelty of Tony's act and for what she had just lost.

At that moment Ryan's mobile rang and he pulled it from his pocket. "Go ahead, he said to Tony, releasing Tara. "I'm sure my wife will enjoy herself with you. His tone was casual as he turned away to take the call and Tara found herself in Tony's arms being swept away into the crowd of dancers.

She pushed against Tony's chest still very aware that she didn't want to make a scene. "How dare you come here and do this! Let me go! she hissed.

Tony laughed and gripped her more tightly. "Oh, I have my contacts, darling. And I rather wanted to have a look at your husband. I must say, he didn't seem very pleased to see me."

"You promised that you would leave me alone if you received my father's money."

"Ah, yes, but I haven't got the magical piece of paper yet, have I? I'm making sure you realise that no matter what, you can't get away from me, Tara. If you don't front tomorrow then be prepared for a lot more embarrassing moments like this. He stopped in the middle of the dance floor and walked away. Tara could fell everyone's eyes upon her and turning, she hurried to where she could see Ryan in the huge entrance. He was putting on his coat as she caught up with him, flushed and breathless.

"Have you been called out? she gasped.

"Yes."

"I'll come with you."

"What's the matter Tara? Had a lover's quarrel? His sarcasm was biting and she realised that the precious moments they had shared on the dance floor when he seemed willing to forgive her, had gone forever. Tony had planned things beautifully.

"Don't worry, he continued. "I've asked David and Michelle to give you a lift home. Unless, of course, you would prefer to go with Mr. Martin."

He swept away, leaving her desolate in the middle of the hallway. She felt David's hand on her arm.

"Tara, we're leaving now. Do you want to come with us?"

She sensed straight away David and Michelle's coolness towards her. Fetching her coat and bag, she let David help her into the back of their vehicle where she sat hunched up and miserable but determined not to show her emotions. She didn't have to wait long though to realise that the other two knew what had happened.

"How could you treat Ryan in this despicable way? Michelle turned to face her from the front seat and hurled the accusation at her. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"It was you who saw me in Marlston the other day, Tara replied, everything falling into place.

"Yes, I saw you and I don't mind admitting that I told Ryan. David and I were absolutely mortified that you should have some fellow on the side and have the damned cheek to ... to smooch with him in broad daylight. Michelle was so angry she could hardly get the words out.

David interrupted, trying to be the voice of reason. "Come on, Michelle, now isn't the time to go through this. Everyone's upset so let it go."

"No. I won't, David. If you're too worried about telling her, then I'm not. Ryan means everything to us, Tara and we won't see you treat him in this way. He has been through hell and is under enormous pressure over the children and you ... you are cheating on him."

"Stop! Stop it!"Tara cried, her voice rising hysterically. "First it's Ryan who won't listen and now the two of you. Surely someone is willing to hear my side of the story? Her plaintive cry stopped the others in their tracks and there was silence. Tara felt like screaming into the silence, screaming that she loved Ryan and that she wouldn't hurt him for the world.

"I'm taking you home with us. David suddenly took charge as he drove past Ryan's house and along the road that would take them to the other side of the town where he and Michelle lived.

"Why are you doing that? Michelle's anger turned on her husband.

"Because I think we should listen to what Tara has to say. Besides that, you can see she's distraught and you're making matters worse by attacking her."

There was another weird silence as Michelle turned her back towards Tara. When they reached their home, Michelle thanked the neighbour who had babysat for Tom and went to check on him while David poured the three of them a drink. Tara sat in the corner sofa by the fire feeling totally drained.

"Michelle didn't mean to be so rough on you, Tara, it's just that she was so upset after she saw you in Marlston. David's quiet voice had a calming influence on her and Tara felt that she could tell them about Tony, particularly if Michelle would listen and understand.

An hour and three more drinks, plus two cups of coffee later, Tara felt much better. Both David and Michelle had been at first disbelieving and then bewildered by Tara's story of Tony and his mother's treatment of Tara's father and then the harassment she had been subjected to in the past few months. Michelle sat next to her and putting her arms around Tara, hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry I spoke to you in the way I did. I was very angry with you but I should have known that you couldn't treat Ryan like that, she said, her face crumbling into tears.

"Thank you both for believing me, Tara breathed. "But why won't Ryan listen to me? He refuses to let me explain and then tonight, I know he was willing to forgive me for what he thought I had done when Tony appeared. Ryan must think I'm the worst kind of person ever."

David sat on the other side of Tara and held her hand while Michelle kept a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You know that Ryan has been through hell with Carol, don't you? David said.

"He doesn't talk about it much but has opened up a lot more over the past week or so. I know he is in agony over what may happen about the children, Tara replied, grateful for their closeness and comfort.

"I've worked with him very closely for the past three years, since he set up practice. Probably I'm one of the rare people who know how much her cheating affected him. Ryan is a man of the highest ethical and moral standards and it takes him a long time to trust someone. When this blew up in his face, not once, but twice because of Carol, he found it harder and harder to trust again."

Tara felt more tears welling as she listened to David's quiet, steady voice.

"I understand that, but why didn't he trust me? He closed me out and believed the worst of me, she said with a sudden heartbreaking sob.

"I know. It's the only way he can cope right now. I don't know how else you could have both handled it."

Michelle broke in. "I'm sorry that I told him now. I'm not a gossipy type of person but I saw red that day. When I got back and ran into Ryan, I'm afraid I couldn't help myself. Can you forgive me, Tara?"

Tara's response was to give Michelle another hug.

"Would you like me to talk to Ryan for you? David asked gently

"No, not yet. I have to get tomorrow out of the way."

"Oh, Tara you're not going to still go through with it, are you? Giving away your inheritance to that monster of a man. Michelle was obviously shocked that Tara still planned to go ahead with her meeting and the subsequent signing over of her estate to Tony.

"It's hard to understand, I know. But this is the only way I can get rid of him and Julia. He's only interested in my father's money. When he has that and the property, they will leave me alone. Then, if you'll talk to Ryan, I would be grateful, because I don't think he'll want me near him after tonight's little episode."

"Do you want me to come with you tomorrow? Michelle asked.

"No. I'll be fine. I feel in better control now and part of the deal I made with Tony is that he leaves and I never see him again."

David frowned as he thought about what Tara was going to do. "Okay, but I think when your stepbrother has left, we need to sort this out with Ryan as soon as possible. I would say he's a pretty unhappy man at the moment."

Tara stood up. "I must get back. I don't know how long Ryan will be, and our babysitter will want to go home. She hugged them both. "Thank you so much for listening to me and understanding. I feel much better. She gave a watery smile and then said "The trouble is I'm not sure even when Ryan knows the truth about Tony that he will want me around after the custody hearing. He doesn't love me; otherwise he would have trusted me."

* * * *

David drove Tara home and she let herself in, hoping that Ryan would be there, although she wasn't sure what she would say to him. However, he was still on a house call. She thanked Molly's daughter and checked on the children, who were both sound asleep. Knowing she was probably the last person Ryan would want to see that night, she made her way to the end bedroom and curled herself into a tight, miserable ball and tried to sleep. She heard Ryan come in an hour later and go to his room. At least he was safe, she thought as she closed her tired eyes.

The next morning saw them back to the status quo, coldly polite to each other as they handled the morning chores of getting the children up and having breakfast. Tara had found out from Lauren the previous day that Ryan was leaving early to go into Marlston to visit some of his patients in hospital and to attend a series of meetings with senior hospital staff and would be away for most of the day. As much as she didn't want to deceive him again, this made it much easier to meet Tony at the Justice of the Peace's house and to get that terrible business over and done with.

Tara had been sure that Ryan was going to make a comment about Tony and steeled herself for his questions, but he retained his frozen calm. Kissing the children goodbye, he gave her a brief nod and was gone. Tara gritted her teeth knowing she could expect little else. She sought comfort in the antics of the children over breakfast, while dreading the meeting with Tony.

She decided that she would tell Lauren that she had a private matter to attend to rather than invent another excuse. Henry Madigan, the Justice of the Peace, lived about two kilometres from Thelma and Janet's cottage on the edge of the town. She wondered what they would make of this state of affairs if they happened to catch sight of her driving by. More gossip, she supposed. Tara arrived at his house punctually at four o'clock.

Tony drove up a few moments later in a smart jaguar with heavy snow chains on the wheels. Tara all but ignored him as she knocked at the door. Henry Madigan welcomed them and offered cups of tea and biscuits which Tara refused. However, Tony charmingly accepted, making himself very much at home by the fire in Henry's front room. Tara pulled out the documents and thrust them at Tony for him to sign. The documents were very straightforward; nevertheless, Tony seemed to relish spending precious time perusing every word. Nodding, he handed them to Tara who scribbled her signature with Henry looking on. At last the formalities were over and Tara breathed a sigh of relief. She had given away her inheritance and Tony and his mother were now reasonably wealthy people - and she didn't care. In fact, she caught herself smiling as Henry added his signature as a witness to the documents, stamping and dating them with his funny rubber stamp.

"I'm afraid I have to go, Tara said, standing up wanting to get away from Tony and his leering looks.

"Yes, of course my dear, Henry replied shaking hands with them both. "Happy to oblige."

Tara folded her copy of the document and placed it in her bag as she stopped outside at Henry's garden gate. "You've got what you wanted, Tony. Now I never want to see or hear from you again."

Tony smacked his set of papers gently against his thigh. "I think I've got your message, Tara. But to show that there's no real hard feelings after all we've been through, I would like to give you something."

"I don't want anything from you."

"Please. It's something your father gave Julia and she'd like you to have it."

"What is it? she asked suspiciously.

"It's in my car. Come over with me and I'll give it to you."

Tara hesitated and then followed Tony to his car which was parked behind hers in the deserted lane way.

"It's here in the glove box, Tony said, reaching into the car and pulling out a small package. Before she could take it his fist suddenly thudded into her stomach and as she doubled over gasping for breath, he pushed her into the passenger seat and slammed the door. The next moment he was beside her and was driving away at speed.

Tara desperately tried to catch her breath, holding her stomach where he had smashed into her. Dear God! What was happening? A thousand thoughts shot through her brain. Why was he doing this when she had given him what he wanted? Gradually the world stopped swimming before her eyes and she managed to straighten up in the seat. Tony had stopped the car out of sight of Henry's house and now turned to her.

"I'm sorry I had to do that, my darling. But I couldn't risk you attracting old Henry's attention by making a scene. That would never have done."

"I have given you what you want, Tara breathed, trying to hide the tremor in her voice as she still gripped her stomach.

Tony smoothed a stray strand of hair from her face. "Not quite, he murmured. "You thought that I wanted Matthew's estate and that I'd leave you to bask in your secret hideaway with your handsome doctor and your ready-made family. You're mistaken, my love. I have always wanted you. I wanted you two years ago when you were so nice to me, remember? Then you turned against me and treated me like the lowest form of scum. You wouldn't even face me across a dinner table. Well, I don't let anyone ever treat me like that. He almost snarled the words and Tara resisted the urge to cower away from him.

She looked frantically around. Darkness had settled in and they were alone on a quiet country road lit by one street lamp. She was at Tony's mercy.

"What do you want me to do?"

Tony laughed. "You don't have to do anything. I'm driving you back to Melbourne and we will begin our lives together. Your doctor won't want you now, not now that you've proved you can't be trusted and you've run away with your lover. When the time is right and your divorce comes through, then, my darling, we'll get married just like we should have done two years ago."

"It won't work, Tony. It will never work. I have no feelings for you. As she said the words she saw the fury explode in his eyes and realised she was dealing with a madman.

"Do you think I care? You will love me if you know what's good for you. He reached into the glove box and Tara gasped as he drew out a thin bladed knife.

"So that's what you'll do, kill me if I don't comply? Well, do it now! she cried. "Get it over and done with. I will never have feelings for you. I love my husband!"

Tony leaned over her and she drew back as far as she could in the leather seat. Oh, please don't let me die like this, she prayed. Not without seeing Ryan again. Please ... But Tony surprised her as he pulled her hair free from its coiled plait wound around her head.

"I bet Doctor Wade loves your hair, he whispered. "So long and beautiful. He suddenly slashed at the plait near the base of her skull and held it up in triumph. "I shall keep this as a trophy - like the red Indians used to do, he laughed gleefully.

"You're mad! Tara spat the words at him. "Let me out of this car."

In response, Tony started the engine. "No way, my love. We're off on our trip home to where you rightfully belong. If you don't want to cause us to have an accident I suggest you sit quietly. He put the car in gear and drove along the lane until he turned on to the main road.

Tara eyed the cottages as they passed, dimly lit with a welcoming light occasionally beaming on to the roadway. The snow had been cleared from the road and piled on to the hard edge in large mounds. She watched Tony's profile as he concentrated on driving. Suddenly Tara leaned forward, disengaged the door lock, and threw herself from the car. She landed with a hard thud on the side of the road.

* * * *

Ryan checked his watch. Half past three. It time to go home. He had finished his meeting at Marlston Hospital with the Director of Emergency, which had been the last of several pre-arranged meetings with various hospital staff. Pulling out his mobile he saw that he'd received two messages, the first from David. He frowned as he pressed the number to ring him back. It was unusual for David to call him unless it was something really serious.

"Hi Ryan, are you on your way back?"

"Yes. Why? What's up?"

"Can you call into the surgery before you go home? I'd like to talk to you about something."

"What? A problem with a patient? Why can't you tell me now?"

"It's personal. I would rather talk to you face to face."

David sounded uptight. Was he was having problems with Michelle? Ryan didn't think so, but who was he to say, the person who messed up every relationship he ever had.

Getting into his vehicle, Ryan returned a call from his lawyer. He tensed as Brian Tobin answered.

"Ryan, sorry to contact you at work, but I thought you might want to know this news."

His heart began to hammer in his chest and he felt the saliva in his mouth dry as he answered. "Tell me."

"Carol's dropped the case. She's letting you have the kids. Brian paused, letting his words sink in.

Ryan leaned his head against the steering wheel his eyes filling up with tears of relief. He couldn't believe it. Carol was letting him keep his kids?

"What's the catch?"

Brian laughed. "There's no catch. She and her husband have decided to move permanently to the UK and don't want to take the kids with them. Carol feels they would be happier with you. Perhaps they can go over there on holidays when they get older."

"This doesn't sound like the Carol I know."

"Well, I gather the main reason is that she's pregnant and wants to concentrate on her new baby. Her lawyer also told me on the quiet that she had a rough holiday with them, particularly Emma, and really felt she couldn't and didn't want to cope with them."

"Hallelujah! Thank you, Brian, you have no idea what this means to me and Tara. Ryan stumbled over Tara's name.

"You're very welcome. You'll have to share the cost of cancelling the court case with Carol but, under the circumstances, I didn't think you'd mind."

Ryan finished the phone call with Brian and remained seated in the car letting the feelings come over him. Emma and Ben were his; they were staying with him. He could have wept with relief. He lifted the phone once again. He was going to let Tara know. Suddenly it became so important that he speak to her, even beg her to stay if she would after the way he'd treated her. Damn it, he didn't care about this Tony Martin, or any other man. He would fight for Tara. She belonged with him and the kids.

He felt instantly stronger as he made the decision and rang Tara's mobile. Her voice mail was on, so he phoned the surgery. Lauren told him that Tara wasn't there. When he explained about the kids, he heard his staff cheering in the background and smiled. Next he phoned his home and Molly answered. She hadn't seen Tara either she said and was also excited when Ryan told her the news.

"Don't say anything to Emma. I want to explain it to her when I get home, he said.

Where was Tara? He decided to drive home and beg her to stay if he had to.

* * * *

Tara lay in the snow where she'd fallen. As she tried to move an agonising pain shot up her arm. She knew she'd probably broken it. She could have other injuries she didn't recognize. Resting her head in the snow, she waited as she heard Tony bring the car to a stop, the brakes screaming in protest. He slammed the car door and she could hear his feet crunching through the snow towards her. Her heart sank. He would take her with him. Her bid for freedom would be pointless.

"Who's there? What's happened? A light blazed from the adjacent cottage and Tara recognised Janet West's voice. Tony's footsteps stopped and Tara heard him respond.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I thought I had a flat tyre, he called.

Tara lifted her head and began to crawl towards the light, gritting her teeth as the pain shot from her arm to her shoulder. "Janet, help me, help me! she cried hoping that Janet would hear her feeble voice.

"Tara? Is that you? Janet moved closer and flashed a torch into the darkness showing Tara laying on the side of the road

"Please don't worry, we've had a bit of an accident, Tony said, moving the last few feet to kneel beside Tara. "I'll see to her."

The next moment a crack from a walking stick on his shoulder knocked him back. "Get away from her, young man. My sister and I will see to her, came a thunderous voice that Tara recognised as Thelma West's. "Janet, go and get my wheelchair and we'll bring Tara inside. You, she shouted, jabbing the stick into Tony's stomach "get out of here before I call the police."

Tony looked at the determined expression on the faces of the two sisters and turning, walked away. The next moment he had driven off in a shower of snow and slush.

"Oh, my dear, what has happened? Janet crouched beside Tara, who by now was shivering violently with shock and relief.

Between them, the sisters managed to lift Tara into Thelma's wheelchair and manoeuvred her into their cosy front room. Tara was white with shock and they hurriedly covered her with warm rugs. Her head was swimming and she knew she was going to faint. Oh no, not now, was her last thought as she slid from consciousness. You've come this far, don't pass out now.

* * * *

"Doctor Wade, I'm sorry to trouble you on your mobile, but we have your wife here at our cottage. Thelma spoke hesitatingly, still not used to using their new phone. "I'm afraid she's been injured."

Ryan felt a cold hand clutch at his heart as he gripped the phone. "I'll be there in a few minutes, he replied, his professional manner kicking in as he responded to the distraught woman.

Grabbing his medical kit, he called to Molly. "Stay with the kids, I'll be back as soon as I can."

He had spoken at length with David, who had come in from the surgery. The shock and guilt he felt after what David had relayed to him about Tara had been driving him crazy. He had been at his wits end for the past two hours, unable to contact Tara. The worst thought was that Tara was meeting Tony Martin and God knew what might have happened.

Normally it took about ten minutes to reach the West's cottage from his home but Ryan made it in less than five.

He tore into the cottage, ignoring the sisters, his eyes only on Tara who was now conscious, but sat in Thelma's chair white and shaking. As soon as she saw Ryan, her eyes filled with tears as he knelt beside her. "Look what he did, Ryan, she choked. "He ... he cut my hair."

"Shh, Tara. Ryan could hardly trust himself to speak. "Let me examine you. Can you tell me what happened? His hands gently explored her limbs, probing for injuries.

"I ... I think I've broken my arm, she said staring at Ryan's beloved face as his fingers ran softly over her head and shoulders. He was concentrating as he continued to examine her and his eyes didn't meet hers.

"Janet, can you ring for an ambulance, please? he asked. "My wife needs to go to hospital."

Tara could hear Janet tentatively requesting an ambulance while Thelma, leaning heavily on her walking stick, stood directly behind Ryan.

"She jumped from that man's car, Doctor. The porch light was on and I saw her from the window. It's a miracle she wasn't killed! Thelma went into full flight as she explained how she had "seen off the man, and Janet and she had brought Tara inside.

Ryan half listened as he prepared an injection from his kit. "I'm going to give you a morphine shot to help ease the pain, he said softly. "It looks as if your arm is broken, but I'll wait for the medics to come before strapping it. That will give the morphine time to kick in. Meanwhile, I'll set up a drip."

As Ryan worked, Tara put a hand to her head feeling the short hair jagged against the back of her neck. "He violated me, Ryan, she whispered. "You always loved my hair, and he ... spoilt everything. He knew you wouldn't love me without my long hair."

It was then that Ryan registered what Tara was saying. He had been so concerned about her other possible injuries and getting some pain killing drugs into her that he hadn't been listening. Now his hands lovingly held her face, smoothing over a bruise on her cheek bone and grazes along her jaw. He realised she was in deep shock and so traumatised by the event that she scarcely knew what she was saying, but the fact that she kept referring to her hair was significant of the state she was in.

Looking deeply into her eyes, which were already glazing over from the effects of the morphine he said, "You probably won't remember this sweetheart, but I love you. I love you with short, long or no hair, it doesn't matter. Now, close your eyes and let me care for you."

* * * *

"Ryan will be here shortly to take you home, Tara. I bet you'll be glad to see him. But I think he would have been much happier if you'd stayed in for a couple more days."

Tara listened to Michelle and moved stiffly in her chair at the side of her hospital bed. The nurse had helped her to wash and dress and now she was waiting for Ryan. It was the day after the accident and she had spent a strange, dream-like few hours while hospital staff had thoroughly examined her, giving her a CT scan and x-rays to make sure she didn't have any hidden injuries. Her arm had been broken in the fall and had now been set in a large plaster cast. Except for numerous bruises and bumps which caused her discomfort each time she moved, she saw no reason to stay here.

"You must be thrilled about Ryan's news, Michelle said watching as the nurse stripped Tara's bed ready to remake.

"Pardon? What news?"

Michelle gave her an odd glance. "I gather you were pretty doped up when Ryan was telling you, so perhaps you don't remember. The news that Carol has dropped the custody case and Ryan will be keeping the kids. Isn't it great?"

Tara twitched her coat into place as her mind whirled. Had Ryan told her? She couldn't recall it. Oh, she was so happy for him. But this would mean the end of their marriage, their marriage of convenience. How was she going to bear it? Oh Ryan, my love!

Michelle touched her shoulder. "Are you sure you're well enough to go home, Tara? You look awful."

"I'm fine, she replied, gritting her teeth as she slowly stood up. It was at that moment that Ryan came into the room pushing a wheelchair

"Hi, Michelle. He acknowledged her but he had eyes for only Tara. "Ready, sweetheart? he asked, moving forward to hold her.

"I don't want a wheelchair, Tara said, trying to back away from Ryan. "I'm perfectly capable of walking to the car park."

Ryan and Michelle exchanged glances. When Michelle would have helped Tara, he motioned her away. "The car's at the front entrance, actually, he explained quietly, "so you won't have far to go."

They both followed Tara's slow progress along the corridor to the main entrance. Tara even stopped at the nurses station to thank the staff for looking after her. She was aware of the other two behind her, and although every joint seemed to scream out in pain, she refused to ask for help. - From now on she would have to look after herself.

When she had said goodbye to Michelle and was in the vehicle, Tara laid her head against the seat as Ryan got in and started the engine.

"I'm so glad about the children, she said, trying a smile out for size for she truly was happy for him.

"Yep! You could have knocked me down with a feather when I got the news. Now, as soon as we've sorted out your stepbrother, we can get on with our lives."

Tara turned to look at him. "How do you know about him? she asked her eyes wide with bewilderment.

"David told me everything. I'm only sorry you felt you couldn't tell me."

She hesitated, hearing the hurt in his voice but unable to respond to it. "I don't want to talk about him, she replied turning her face into the pillow.

"We need to. In fact, I think there are quite a few things we need to talk about. When I get you home and the kids have seen you, then you're going to bed and I'll bring you a cuppa."

Tara knew only too well when Ryan was determined about something and she decided to keep quiet. Besides, she hurt so much - not just her body but her heart felt as if it had been torn from her body. And yet, Ryan was talking about bringing her cups of tea.

* * * *

After greeting the children and receiving their hugs and kisses and a present of flowers from Emma, Tara lay against the pillows exhausted. Ryan made no comment when she insisted on going to the end bedroom and even placed an electric radiator in there, making it warm and comfortable. Dutifully drinking the tea that Ryan had brought in, she summoned the remainder of her strength for the talk Ryan wanted to have. She supposed he would discuss the legalities of their marriage and when she would leave. Perhaps he would let her stay on as his nurse, but she didn't think she could bear that after all they had shared.

Ryan sat on the edge of the bed. She studied his handsome face and his warm, compassionate eyes. He was feeling sorry for her already.

"Before you say anything let me make it easy, "she said quickly. "We made an agreement that when we knew the result of the case, our marriage would end. Well, things have worked out marvellously well and I'm so glad. So I'm releasing you from our contract. I don't expect anything from you and as soon as I'm well, I'll move on."

"Where will you go? Back to Melbourne?"

"Maybe. I gather that you instigated the police charges against Tony."

"I certainly did. I assume that you approve?"

Pushing her hands through her short, jagged-ended hair, she turned away. Ryan was watching her closely and she was determined not to cry. Why couldn't this be over? Why does he have to sit there waiting for me to break down?

Ryan leaned forward, grasped her hands in his, and lifted each one to his lips, pressing gentle kisses on them. "Tara, let's cut to the chase, shall we? You know that David filled me in on the situation you had with Tony. I'm so sorry that I thought badly of you, that I didn't trust you."

Tara felt a blush warming her skin at the feel of his lips on her hands and his nearness.

"It doesn't matter now. She tried to sound casual.

"It does bloody well matter. I promise I will always trust you in the future, no matter what. I hope you will feel the same about me."

"The future?"

Ryan's hands roamed over her face and touched the yellowing bruise on her cheek. "Yes, the future. Our future. Did you really think I would let you go? I love you too much, Tara. I think I have loved you from the very first night when you stood there in the passage, challenging me in my own house. You adore my kids, our kids, don't you?"

Tara could only nod, her eyes widening.

"We are right for each other, my darling. How I could ever think you had a lover, I don't know. I was so jealous I lost my sense of reason. You were even willing to give away your inheritance so you could be free of Tony and his mother. Am I right that part of reason for that was because you wanted to stay with me and the children? I don't deserve your forgiveness for acting the way I did but I'm asking for it anyway. Will you forgive me?"

He laid his dark head against her and Tara placed her arms around him, her face raised in a silent prayer of thanks. "There's nothing to forgive, she murmured, smoothing her fingers through his thick hair. "I love you, too, Ryan and I want to stay - as your wife."

Ryan looked up then and kissed her on the mouth as tenderly as if she were made of the most fragile china. "You probably don't remember, but directly after the accident you were very upset that Martin had cut your hair. You said he had violated you."

Tara nodded as tears trembled on her lashes.

"And yes, he did violate you. It shows what a madman he is, but understand, my darling, that I love you just as you are. You had beautiful hair, but it was nothing to how beautiful you are in here, he said his voice husky with emotion as he gently tapped his fingers against her heart.

Tara smiled then and kissed him again and again until they were both laughing at her exuberance.

"When you are properly healed, I want us to get married again in our local church, he smiled in between their kisses. "Will you marry me, Tara?"

* * * *

A month later they were married in the tiny local church, with most of the residents of Glenroy Crossing attending as guests. Emma was as proud as punch to be Tara's flower girl, while David was, once again, best man and Michelle was Matron of Honour.

Tony was arrested by the police for his harassment and subsequent attack on Tara and placed on a five-year good behaviour bond. The documents signing over Tara's inheritance were considered by the court to have been done under duress and returned to her. She and Ryan decided to sell the house and property as her father wished, but she bought another house for her stepmother Julia and Tony feeling that's what her father would have wanted.

Now they had returned for a few days to the ski lodge in the mountains. This time Ryan had booked the honeymoon suite, much to Tara's embarrassment.

"How could you? she chided as the receptionist gave them a knowing smile.

"Because, my woman, I intend for the rest of our lives to be one long honeymoon, Ryan teased as he dumped the cases on the floor and, lifting her up, fell into the middle of the huge four-poster bed.

Tara laughed up at him, her eyes full of love for her beautiful man from the High Country. "In that case, let the honeymoon begin, she responded, her arms reaching for him.

THE END

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