"Thirty dollars for today," Kyle repeated

He tore off the check. His expression was businesslike when he handed it
across to Zuzu. It seemed he'd forgotten everything that had happened.

She folded the check and slipped it into her skirt pocket. Accepting
payment, then looking for another job would be wise. But it would be
even wiser to follow Kyle's lead and pretend that she, too, had
forgotten the kiss—which would probably remain in her memory as the
sexiest thing she'd ever experienced.

He might believe he'd been loved enough for a lifetime, but her reason
for resisting was even better. In her lifetime, she'd never been loved
enough....

2
Dear Reader,

During our lifetimes, most of us lose a few loved ones. We move, someone
dies or a relationship breaks up. Sometimes we "lose" a person in
another way. Alzheimer's disease and similar illnesses can take the
person we know and leave someone barely recognizable in their place.
Watching this metamorphosis can be difficult, but I think the experience
teaches us volumes about the constancy of love.

Kyle Harper has suffered a double loss: his wife has died and his father
has developed Alzheimer's. I know—that's a lot of trauma to give a
young, handsome hero with three daughters to raise. And yet my heroine,
Zuzu Clark, has had things tougher. She needs an incredibly strong man
who won't run at the first sign of trouble. And Kyle needs a woman who
can surprise him into loving again. To me, they seem a perfect match.

This story is filled with similarities to my own life. It was difficult
to write at times, but it was also a joy. I hope you enjoy reading about
Kyle and Zuzu's healing journey. Contact me through my Web site at
www.kaitlynrice.com.

Kaitlyn Rice

3
for Five

KAITLYN RICE

HARLEQUIN'

TORONTO • NEW YORK • LONDON

AMSTERDAM • PARIS • SYDNEY • HAMBURG

STOCKHOLM • ATHENS • TOKYO • MILAN • MADRID

PRAGUE • WARSAW • BUDAPEST • AUCKLAND

4
If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this
book is stolen property. It was reported as "unsold and destroyed" to
the publisher, and neither the author nor the publisher has received any
payment for this "stripped book."

ISBN 0-373-75055-2

TABLE FOR FIVE

Copyright © 2005 by Kathy Hagan.

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or
utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any
electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented,
including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information
storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission
of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road,
Don Mills, Ontario M3B 3K9, Canada.

All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of
the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same
name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual
known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

® and TM are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ®
are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the
Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

www.eHarlequin.com Printed in U.S.A.

5
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

As a child, Kaitlyn Rice loved to lie on the floor of her bedroom and
draw pencil sketches of characters. She remembers assigning each one a
name and personality, and imagining what their lives might be like. This
study of people and relationships—both real and made up—has always
fascinated her. By her mid-teens, she was drawn into the world of
romance fiction.

Through the years, Kaitlyn's most enduring pastime has been to curl up
with a good romance novel, and her fondest dream has been to create
full-fledged versions of those character sketches—in book form. She's
thrilled to have finally realized that goal.

Kaitlyn lives in Kansas with her husband and two daughters. Visit
Kaitlyn's Web site at www.kaitlynrice.com.

Books by Kaitlyn Rice

HARLEQUIN AMERICAN ROMANCE

972—TEN ACRES AND TWINS 1012—THE RENEGADE 1051—TABLE FOR FIVE

Don't miss any of our special offers. Write to us at the following
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6
To my mom and my little brother, with love.

Mom, you may not always know my name, but you've never stopped loving
me, or teaching me.

Jamie, we have experienced a lot of pain in our family life. You've
handled it beautifully. I'm very proud of you.

7


Holding the phone slightly away from his ear, Kyle Harper listened for
an opportunity to interrupt the prattle booming from its receiver.

"Grab the guns!" Kyle's father yelled. "There's a gang of shoot-'em-up
guys headed into town!"

"Hey, Dad, everything's all right," Kyle said, forcing a soothing tone.
"You must be watching TV."

"Get the women and children inside, and then you'd best load every
barrel. These men look meaner than dirt!"

Kyle smiled faintly, drawing a poignant amusement from a situation that
might knock him off his feet if he let it. Eddie Harper, his dad, had
once been one of the most influential men in Kirkwood, Kansas. Now he
confused old Western movies with reality.

Except for the irrational talk, the man sounded nearly the same as he
always had. His appearance hadn't changed much, either. Sometimes Kyle
wanted to believe that his strong, cognizant father would find a way to
return.

He wouldn't, of course. Not unless Alzheimer's researchers made a
substantial breakthrough that would do more than simply slow the
disease. To Kyle's deep regret, his dad had been cursed with a brain
that was gradually

8


losing function. As soon as Eddie's gloomy fate had become clear, Kyle
had stepped into place as head of the family-owned restaurant group, and
he tried to honor his father's benevolent connection to the community.
Kirk-wood boasted a respected university with an emphasis on
agriculture, enough business to support more than forty thousand
residents, and eighty-six restaurants ranging from fast-food shops to
the most elegant of fine dining establishments. Kyle's dad had started
several of the more unique eateries, and he was very well-liked.

He was admired beyond Kirkwood, too. From Concor-dia, an hour's drive
east, to Kansas City two hours west, restaurant lovers from both sides
of the kitchen door spoke well of him. Eddie Harper had been a superb
businessman, and a great person.

As Kyle listened to his father ramble on about guns and outlaws, he felt
a tightening in his throat. The old man wasn't gone, for God's sake. He
was just different. Unfath-omably, irreparably different.

"Lookey there," his dad said, cackling. "Two of the rascals are riding
away already. Cover me while I check the back door."

The overpowering effects of Alzheimer's disease might have attacked
Eddie's brain, but his heart and spirit were healthy. Kyle would never
dishonor his father by talking down to him. Still, he played along to
hold his dad's interest. "I'll cover you," he said. "Bring the little
woman to the phone, would you?"

After a shuffling sound, Kyle's mother came on the line. "Victoria
Harper here."

Her cheerful tone brightened Kyle's mood. "It's me, checking in before I
head home from work," he said. "Need anything?"

9


"No, love. We're just fine. Your dad has had a good day. Go on home to
your girls."

Kyle spoke to his mother for another minute, making sure that his
parents were indeed just fine, before he did as his mother suggested. If
he was lucky, his kids would have had a good day, too.

Directing the eight-hundred-twenty-some Harper Enterprises employees
divided among one corporate office and nine northeast Kansas restaurants
seemed simpler at times than containing the turmoil one pair of aging
parents and a trio of school-age daughters created.

Work, at its worst, could be demanding. Family was much more
complicated. Kyle had heard the term sandwich generation applied to
others in his situation, but he preferred to compare his plight to a
vise grip. He felt a squeeze of responsibility from the generations on
either side, and he was the flimsy man in the middle trying to withstand
the pressures without crumbling. It was sometimes awkward, often
inconvenient and always exhausting.

After hanging up the phone, Kyle glanced at his watch, further
encouraged by his mother's news. If she was okay, then Kyle didn't need
to stop by to offer her a sanity-preserving break. Which meant he had a
chance of arriving home before Nona, his kids' nanny, threw one of her
habitual fits. She was flying to San Diego on a red-eye tonight, and
she'd fretted for days that he'd be late and make her miss her flight.

Kyle grabbed his attache case, shrugged into his overcoat and headed out
to the parking lot. As he jogged across the Nickel Street crosswalk, he
wondered how much time he could make up on the drive home. But when he
noticed the sultry woman in the boutique directly across from the Harper
Building, he slowed his pace, pretending to win-

10


dow-shop as he allowed himself a moment of respite from all those
responsibilities.

The lady was worth watching.

She was working inside her backlit shop window tonight, and she wore a
long, breezy dress that emphasized supple curves on a petite frame. She
reminded him of something magical—a woodland pixie or a sprite.

Even if her style of dress had been more conventional, the mixed gold
and orange tones in her hair would have caught Kyle's attention. Over
the past few months, he'd seen the woman many times. His office window
faced her shop front, so when she stood outside talking to customers, he
noticed her. He'd wondered if she was married. He'd also wondered about
the quality of her voice, the feel of her skin and the sound of her
laugh.

He'd wondered about her life.

Now Kyle paused briefly near the shop's door, wishing he had time to go
inside and satisfy some fraction of his curiosity about the woman. But
she turned from the window, then hastened away to speak to a customer.
Kyle picked up his stride again, and soon found himself veering into the
parking lot and then settling into his car.

He should rush home, anyway. It would be best to forget about the woman.
His interest could never amount to more than a secret attraction.

Kyle existed in another world. Practically another dimension. To realize
that a man who worked on one side of the street could not consort with a
woman who worked such a short distance away was painful. But Kyle wasn't
just a man—he was a Harper. He had a responsibility to conduct himself
with finesse.

When he'd taken control of his father's business, he'd taken control of
the livelihoods of those eight-hundred-

11


11

twenty-some employees. Kyle's legacy felt like an albatross at times,
but he loved his job. His fair leadership and keen vision were touted
often in local and food-industry news, and he'd nearly tripled the
company's already plump profits.

He'd also inherited Harper fame. His dad had opened the first Kirkwood
diner in the late fifties, and his inventiveness and generosity had made
him a local celebrity by the time Kyle was born over a decade later.

Instead of a blurb in the Kirkwood Courier, Kyle's wedding had occupied
a half-page spread. Many of his daughters' milestones had been
publicized, as had his wife's death from a brain aneurysm three years
ago.

If Kyle flirted with the shop clerk, people would say he was in the
relationship for sex. They'd likely be right. His wife, Beth, had been
his confidante. After she died, he'd had to be strong for his daughters.
He'd built a wall around his emotions in order to function. Eddie's
weakening condition had taken away another ally, and that old wall had
gotten thicker and higher.

All along, Kyle had had the feeling that he couldn't stop to truly
contemplate either loss. If he did, he might sink into a depression.
What good would he be to anyone if he fell apart? And so he honored his
father and Beth by protecting their contributions to the world. He did
his best with the company and with the kids. In keeping up with the
constant work involved with those tasks, he maintained that wall.

Besides, even if he could find the time or heart for a meaningful
relationship, few women saw past his name to the man inside.

Kyle started his car and pulled around to the Nickel Street drive. As he
waited to merge into traffic, he noticed the woman working on the window
display again. She cer-

12


tainly inspired plenty of fantasies. She wore the colors of springtime
on the gloomiest days of autumn, and she wasn't afraid to shine. From
vagrant to businessman, every man who passed by must wonder about her.

She saw Kyle now, too. Or he thought she did, when she glanced up from
the display she was arranging to tilt her head thoughtfully in his
direction. Of course, his car was blocking the exit from the parking
lot, and it was conspicuous. He supposed that his Chiaretto red BMW was
as flamboyant, in its way, as her hair and clothes.

But he hoped the street lamps struck the car perfectly, so that she
might notice him, too. Not as the driver of the expensive car, or as the
head of the corporate office across the street. Not even as Eddie
Harper's son or the father to three motherless daughters.

But as a man.

An interested and interesting man.

When a short, polite honk sounded behind him, Kyle pulled himself out of
his reverie and drove past, forgetting the woman for another day.

Ten minutes later, he stepped out of his car in his garage at home and
quite literally sensed trouble—the smell of smoke was strong enough to
have drifted through the garage walls. Either Nona was letting the kids
make clay-bead jewelry in the kitchen oven again, or his exhausting day
had just gotten longer.

Hoping for the best, Kyle glanced across to the nanny's usual parking
space in the far stall. His alarm heightened. Her station wagon was
missing. He slammed the car door and sprinted inside. A quick scrutiny
of the kitchen revealed enough trouble for a spontaneous headache, if
not quite the disaster he'd pictured.

The sink was loaded with dishes, and someone had left

13


13

a covered pan unattended on a red-hot burner. He tossed his case on the
table and rushed across to turn off the stove's control knob, then moved
the saucepan off the heat. "Nona? Girls? Are you here?" he called out.

No answer.

A plastic spoon was curled and smoking on the hot stovetop, sending off
a smell too strong for something so small. It must have been melting
there a good little while.

Nona might be grumpy, but she was competent in the kitchen. One of the
kids must have been cooking. Probably Alexandria. At ten, she tried to
keep up with her older sisters, but she tended to rush around. And
Kyle's wiliest daughter would probably deny having seen this particular
white plastic utensil in her entire life.

After scooping the spoon onto a metal spatula, Kyle tossed both into the
sink and ran water over them. Then he opened the window and clicked on
the ceiling fan. "Alex!" he shouted as he turned off the faucet. "Did
you forget something in here?"

Silence. Nona must have left early. Kyle glanced at the message board
near the phone, looking for a note, but it held only the same school
calendars and business cards. He crossed the kitchen and picked up the
phone to dial the nanny's apartment and then her cell phone. But she
didn't answer those, either. Her early departure was odd, but nannies
could be unpredictable. Nona was the fourth woman Kyle had hired within
a three-year period, and she was the best of the bunch.

Sighing heavily, he went in search of a daughter. Any daughter would do,
as long as she had ears to hear and a mouth to explain. "Girls, where
are you?" he bellowed on his way through the family room.

The house was too quiet. With three ten- to fourteen-year-old girls in
residence, it was rare that there wasn't pas-

14


sionate music ripping from one direction and impassioned shouts roaring
from the other.

Kyle headed straight up the stairs, and was stopped at the top by Alex's
television—-which was sitting out in the hallway adjacent to her bedroom
door. He moved it out of his path, figuring the odd placement must have
something to do with an argument.

Fourteen-year-old Sydney often accused her sisters of watching childish
shows. Maybe Alex was making a point.

Kyle knocked on his youngest daughter's closed bedroom door before
opening it and going inside. "Alex?"

She wasn't in her room, but her window was wide-open. If not forty
degrees outside, that would be all right. Confined to a cage on the
corner table, Alex's guinea pig yelped its displeasure at the brisk
temperature. Kyle crossed the room to close and lock the window, then
headed next door to twelve-year-old Chelsea's room. Her television was
on its stand, with towels draped over it like a shroud. Her window was
also open, and Bonnie, the basset hound who usually spent her afternoons
snoozing at the foot of Chelsea's bed, was nowhere in sight.

A check of Sydney's room revealed a similar state of affairs. When Kyle
crossed the space to close the window, he found all three of his
daughters, as well as the dog. The girls were in the front yard, sawing
limbs from one of the landscape trees. Bonnie ambled around the area,
alternately sniffing twigs and watching Kyle's daughters as if she were
their squat, sad-eyed supervisor. Since Kyle had come in through the
garage, he hadn't seen them.

The young Japanese red maple that had been a beautiful merlot-red sphere
a few weeks ago was now flat and spindly. Unless Kyle could get a
gardener out here tonight—on Thanksgiving eve—the neighborhood-associa-

15


15

tion cops would surely be calling to complain on behalf of the
neighbors.

Kyle considered again whether he should hire extra staff at home. He'd
resisted for the same reason he drove his own car. He could afford a
driver, but he liked to drive. He liked to be involved in every aspect
of his life, and he was determined that his wealth wouldn't make him any
less a man, or any less a father.

He and Beth had always agreed on that issue. They'd wanted a direct hand
in their daughters' upbringing, and they'd wanted the girls' lives to be
similar to that of typical American children. Or as typical as possible,
for a Harper child.

The girls were having a ball. Sydney was up on a step-ladder, sawing
with abandon. Chelsea was steadying the ladder. Alex was whirling around
underneath, tripping over the dog as she collected fallen branches and
twigs.

Kyle lifted the window higher and yelled, "Sydney, stop sawing. All
three of you get in here."

"Hi, Dad!" Chelsea said, smiling up at him. "We'll be there in a minute.
We're almost done."

"You'll come now," he said. "Better yet, take the ladder and saw to the
shed. I'll meet you there."

All three girls peered up at him, then started whispering to one another
as they folded the ladder and headed for the east side of the house with
Bonnie trailing along behind.

That was disturbing, too. If his daughters were all together and not
arguing, they must be in cahoots about something. Kyle held a finger
beneath his nostrils and jammed his eyes shut, willing back a sneeze.

Could he have developed an allergic reaction to stress? He wished he
didn't have to concern himself with which sort of trouble his children
were plotting. Before his wife's

16


death, he'd had no idea about the problems she must have dealt with at
home. She'd handled it all without complaint.

She'd been a saint.

And he'd been spoiled.

After closing Sydney's window, Kyle stepped over Alex's misplaced
television on his way back downstairs. He'd get to the bottom of the
bedroom and tree mysteries later. Right now, he just wanted to know if
his girls had done something to make Nona leave in a hurry.

After striding through the kitchen again, Kyle jerked open the French
doors and jogged across the deck. He reached the shed before his
daughters did. Within seconds, Sydney slammed into the shed and looped
the handsaw over a hook on the pegboard. His neatnik child had come from
the womb looking angry, and she'd always been quick to provoke. Her
brown hair and green eyes were much like Kyle's, but he wouldn't claim
the high-maintenance personality.

"Dad, we were only trying to make things nicer around here," she said.
"You're not going to holler at us for that, are you?"

"You were chopping down the tree."

Chelsea and Alex entered the shed together, each carrying an end of the
ladder. "I'll put it away, Alex," Chelsea said, taking hold of the
ladder to prop it against the wall.

Alex offered Kyle a bright smile. "Zuzu's feng shut list says that trees
over six feet tall are, like, very bad in front of an entry door," she
said. "We weren't chopping. We were trimming."

Kyle frowned. The kids must have heard about feng shui on one of those
television decorating shows. Perhaps they'd downloaded this list from a
favorite show's Web site. "You girls know the Internet is off limits
without permission from me," he said.

17


17

Chelsea smiled. "We weren't on the Internet."

"Then where did you get the list?"

"We told you," Sydney said, scowling. "From Zuzu."

Odd name, Zuzu. Must be the classmate Sydney had spoken to at the mall
last week. Kyle thought the boy's name had started with X, but Z was
close enough. That kid had had more gold studs in his face than a dad
had cared to count. Kyle had been so intent on separating the boy from
Sydney he hadn't paid much attention to a name.

That was something else he and Beth had decided together. To keep their
kids' lives real by sending them to public schools. But Kyle wondered,
sometimes, if his efforts were unrealistic. After all, the girls were
Harpers. Like him, they would probably always fight for privacy, and
they would probably always enjoy a lot of privileges.

But until one of them earned a master's degree in horticulture, chopping
down trees would not be one of them.

"You trimmed the tree without permission?" he asked.

"We didn't want to bother you at work," Chelsea said. "This afternoon
you were bummed about the short holiday week, remember?"

"Yes, and that brings to mind something else out of whack around here.
Something pretty major."

In the sweet voice that belied her mischievous temperament, Alex said,
"The TVs have too much male energy for a bedroom. That's probably why I
got a C in math last quarter. Like, hello! My room was full of bad
vibes."

"Like, hello! Your textbook was full of dust," Kyle said. "But I wasn't
going to ask about the televisions. Not yet."

"Well, what was your question, then?" Sydney asked.

Kyle ignored her sarcasm and watched her, waiting

18


until she seemed mindful of his seriousness. Then he moved his scrutiny
to his other two daughters. When he was sure he had each girl's full
attention, he asked, "Where is Nona?"

Alex and Chelsea both stared at Bonnie, who had just plopped down at
their feet. Sydney squinted at the tools hanging on the wall of the
shed. Kyle's oldest and youngest girls shared the long face and olive
skin of the Harpers, along with enough cunning to convince a vegetarian
that a T-bone would make a nice snack.

Middle child Chelsea had been blessed with a few more of Beth's genes.
Her complexion was fair, her face was round and pretty and she could be
counted on to be honest. Kyle focused on her. "Where is she, Chels?"

"We don't know, and it isn't our fault," Chelsea said.

"What isn't your fault?"

Chelsea shrugged, and he could tell she was trying not to glance at her
sisters. His peacemaking child was often accused of tattling by default.
In trying to please the adults in her life, she gave away her sisters'
errors.

Maybe if he took the pressure off her, the other two might compete for
his good graces. He slid his gaze across all three of his daughters'
faces. "Was Nona upset today?"

"Nope. She was okay," Alex answered.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Did Alex put a goldfish in her tuna
salad?" He'd threatened to have the backyard pond removed after the last
fish incident.

Chelsea giggled and shook her head, sending her straight blond hair
swinging out around her shoulders.

"No salt in the sugar container before she made her morning coffee?"
Kyle asked.

"No fish. No salt," Chelsea said. "We like Nona."

Kyle had never quite figured out who had masterminded

19


19

the trickery that had sent their first nanny running after three weeks,
but it didn't matter now. She and the two nannies who'd followed her
were gone.

And now Nona was missing.

The girls were good kids, Kyle knew, but they didn't believe they needed
supervision. Sydney thought she was old enough to watch her sisters, and
her sisters thought they were too old to be watched.

So they all worked together to scare off the nannies.

Kyle studied Chelsea's sincere blue eyes, then moved his gaze quickly to
Sydney's green ones, trapping her attention. "Were you rude to her?"

Sydney snorted. "I didn't call her baboon face, if that's what you
mean," she said. "And Alex didn't tell her you were secretly engaged to
a Swedish princess."

Kyle nodded. Extending his arms behind his daughters, he directed them
and the dog toward the house. As the girls filed into the kitchen and
removed their coats, Bonnie lay down with a groan at the back door and
Kyle thought about his trouble with nannies. The second had been too
sensitive, and the third had been too interested in becoming the next
Mrs. Kyle Harper.

That was why Nona was so great. She was good to the kids, she was as
tough skinned as an old butternut squash and she didn't act as if she
liked him all that much. "So Nona left without telling anyone?" he
asked.

Sydney shrugged, Chelsea nodded and Alex snickered.

"Sydney, do you understand that you aren't old enough to be left in
charge all the time?" Kyle asked. "Someone has to shop for groceries,
prepare meals and drive the three of you to and from your schools and
activities. My work hours are long and non-negotiable."

"Sheesh, you got that right," Sydney said as she flopped

20


down into a kitchen chair. "You work too much. You'll have a heart
attack and leave us orphans."

"Answer the question."

"I understand that you think we need a baby-sitter," Sydney said
grumpily, "but we didn't need Nona tonight. Alex even made dinner."

Alex beamed. "Since it's cold, I made Mom's white bean chili. I've kept
it warming on the stove like she always did."

Beth had always left the pot on simmer, not 911 hot. And she'd stayed
close to the stove and used a wooden spoon to stir the contents of the
pot at regular intervals.

But Alex was so proud of herself. Kyle didn't have the heart to tell her
about her mistakes. Not yet. "When did Nona leave?" he asked, instead.

"After school."

"You came by my office after school."

Sydney rolled her eyes as if the conversation was growing extremely
tedious.

Kyle agreed. "I want a detailed and truthful description of what
happened from the second you stepped outside my office until the second
you realized that Nona had left."

Sydney grabbed the saltshaker from the middle of the table and toyed
with it. "We walked into the hallway, Alex first and me last. We said hi
to Valerie, who gave us each a mint. Then we went down the hall and
talked to that babelicious accountant for a minute."

Kyle's nose tickled again. He held his breath and counted to ten. When
he finished, he interrupted. "Important details, please. Chelsea, you
take over."

Chelsea stood ramrod straight in front of him and looked him square in
the eye. "Nothing happened," she said. "We stopped in our favorite
little shop to tinker around for a while, but that's nothing new."

21


21

"You browsed in some shop."

"Right."

"And then?"

Alex broke in. "Nona brought us home. We came up to feed Squeaker and
Bonnie, and Nona must have left then." As she spoke, Alex stretched
across the table to grab the saltshaker from Sydney, then laughed when
her sister tugged it back. The lid popped off and salt flowed across the
tabletop like a miniature tidal wave. The young female shrieks that
followed were annoying, but much less alarming than the earlier silence.

"It's all right, Dad." Chelsea scooted the trail of salt across to the
edge of the table and into her cupped palm. "I'm sure Nona will explain
when she gets back."

His daughters appeared to be telling the truth, but Kyle couldn't shake
the feeling that something was wrong with Nona. She'd left without the
advance paycheck she'd requested only yesterday afternoon.

"Let's eat while the soup's warm," he said, closing the subject
temporarily. "We'll discuss this during dinner."

The girls complained as loud as they dared, but they also moved to the
cabinets to pull out bowls, spoons and napkins. Unfortunately, the phone
rang before Kyle could ladle a serving for himself. He raced Sydney to
the phone, thinking it might be Nona. But it was the manager of
Rafters—a Harper pub over in Topeka. An employee problem had grown
messy, and Kyle needed to orchestrate a solution over the phone. By the
time he hung up, all three girls had finished eating and left.

He ate alone, trying not to think about how much his life had changed.
And at ten o'clock, he went out to the frozen front lawn to clear the
remaining tree branches.

Kyle was glad that tomorrow was a holiday. Every Harper

22


employee from second-week busboy to corporate VP had been given a turkey
or a couple of bake-and-eat mushroom tarts. Those who wanted to earn
triple time could work tomorrow. His cousin Jenny was managing the ovens
in a downtown soup kitchen, and Harper Enterprises had donated enough
food and staff to prepare three hundred meals, available free to anyone
who didn't have somewhere else to go.

Kyle knew Jenny would do well with the dinner, which was, after all, her
brainchild. He had other plans for the day. He'd invited his parents to
dinner and warned his daughters to expect kitchen duties. He was
catching up on family time if it killed him. Maybe he'd even get to the
bottom of the nanny mystery.

He didn't have to wait long.

The phone rang at nine o'clock the next morning, when he was in the
kitchen chopping celery and calculating the appropriate length of time
to cook an eighteen-pound turkey.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Harper!" Nona said as soon as he'd picked up
the phone.

"Happy Th— Wait a minute." Kyle returned the turkey to the refrigerator
and sat down at the table. "Nona, what happened to you?"

"I came to San Diego, to my granddaughter's house."

With complete clarity, Kyle remembered Nona standing in his office
doorway on Tuesday afternoon, saying she wanted her paycheck early so
she'd have money to spend on her great-grandbaby. Something was going
on.

Cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder, he picked up the
saltshaker and ran his thumb across the cool ceramic. "You were supposed
to leave after I got home," he said. "I sent my assistant to the bank to
get your check."

"I changed my mind."

"Why?"

23


23

"I left fifteen minutes before five, and I asked you to be on time. Was
there a problem?"

Kyle pictured the chopped-up tree and the melted spoon, then he reminded
himself that Nona was the best nanny he'd found in three exhausting
years. "Nothing I couldn't handle. Happy Thanksgiving. I'll see you on
Monday."

"No, you won't," Nona said.

Kyle's heart sank when he began to suspect where this conversation was
leading. "On Tuesday, then."

"I'm staying here," she said. "A wise young lady told me that I should
live my life in the present. My great-grandbaby is special, and I want
to enjoy him."

Kyle was stuck on the "wise young lady" statement. Someone had
penetrated the thick skull of his nanny to influence her behavior? A
nearly impossible task, he would think.

"You applied for this job only six months ago," he said. "You went
through a costly training program that took another six months, and you
got a great job caring for three girls who need little beyond a couple
of daily car rides and some light supervision."

"What is your point, Mr. Harper?"

He didn't answer, but his point was that a grown woman should not be so
easily swayed. He wondered who had done the swaying. "Sydney said you
left soon after you brought them home from my office."

"I did."

'Then whom did you talk to?"

"Zuzu."

There was that name again. "That kid from Sydney's school with the big X
shaved into the side of his head?"

Nona chuckled. "Zuzu's hair is wild, but I haven't noticed any shaved
sections. Zuzu's a she, she's too old for

24


school and she works across the street from your office. You might have
noticed her—she has an unusual style."

Kyle felt dull, but he was getting sharper.

"Zuzu is the spri—the woman from the boutique?"

"Yes! We saw her after the girls visited you. They think Zuzu is a
mystic, but she says she's just a good listener."

The woman he'd been fantasizing about for months was the same woman
who'd told his kids to chop down the tree and get rid of their
televisions? Unbelievable.

"Give me her last name," Kyle said, grabbing a pen and notepad. He
finally had a good reason to speak with the woman, but it wasn't to
invite her to the wild forest romp from his daydreams.

"Zuzu.. .um. Well, I guess I don't know it."

"You took such life-changing advice from a stranger?"

"She's sort of a friend," Nona said. "She said I looked worried, and we
started talking. That's when she told me that life was too short to wait
for my fondest wish."

"Which is?"

"To be with my great-grandson out here in California."

"And leave my children unattended."

"Your girls aren't infants, Mr. Harper. When we got home, they went
upstairs. I peeked in on them a few minutes later, and they were all in
Alex's room reading some pamphlet. I figured they'd still be in there
when you arrived home."

"That pamphlet gave my girls the idea to cut down one of our trees,"
Kyle said. "I'm only hoping the gardener can repair the damage."

Nona didn't respond.

And Kyle was finished. He was a generous employer. He felt no need to
keep a worker who didn't want her job. "Nona?"

"Yes, Mr. Harper?"

25


25

"Enjoy your great-grandson. Give me an address and I'll mail your last
check there."

After Kyle hung up, he paced the floor. He'd have to find another nanny
right away. With the holidays approaching, that might be difficult.

The sprite was a troublemaker.

Kyle was tempted to forbid his daughters from going into her shop again,
but he knew better. In Harper-daughter-land, forbidding was practically
a call to action. They'd only sneak into the shop, and he'd have more of
a problem.

So he wouldn't mention it. They would go through this feng shui craze
with careful supervision, and it would eventually die out.

Especially if he could get the sprite to cooperate.

26


Zuzu Clark sank her fingertips deep into the base of her boss's plump
neck and asked, "How is that? Too hard?"

Rolling her head from side to side, Mary bounced her dishwater curls
against Zuzu's hands. "No, that's good. Mmm-mmm. Ver-r-ry good."

"You're storing a lot of tension today," Zuzu said as she began the slow
task of kneading away the knots. "Take a deep breath and tell me what's
bothering you."

Mary inhaled a whoosh of air, then let it back out in a rush of words.
"This was my worst Thanksgiving ever! My daughter-in-law thinks I'm a
bad cook."

Zuzu rotated her thumbs down between Mary's shoulder blades. 'Take
another breath and calm down," she said. "No one could think such a
thing. You are a great cook."

"Then why did she hide my fluffy fruit salad in the fridge and shoo me
out of the kitchen?" Mary asked. "She served her own broccoli salad at
dinner, and said she forgot about mine until it was too late."

After six months of employment at Mary's shop, Zuzu was accustomed to
her boss's complaints about her daughter-in-law. Since the older woman
visited her son every weekend, the Monday-morning massages had become
part of a pattern.

27


27

Mary sorted cash into the register drawer, she and Zuzu started talking,
and soon Zuzu was soothing with words and hands. Mary could be overly
sensitive at times, but she was a sweetheart. "She probably did forget,"
Zuzu said, smiling. "People do that when they're busy."

"The bowl was empty when she returned it," Mary said. "I think she
dumped it down the garbage disposal."

"Or ate it herself in a post-holiday frenzy." Zuzu's comment caused Mary
to chuckle. "Big family dinners are stressful for a lot of people."

"Did you finish your project?" Mary asked, obviously remembering Zuzu's
plans for a quiet holiday.

"I did." Zuzu had spent the day creating pen-and-ink sketches of roses,
intending to send them to her friend Abby for Christmas. She'd stopped
midway through the afternoon to eat a turkey sandwich and a dollop of
canned yams, and she'd thought she was doing it up big. "I kept busy and
had fun, so don't worry."

Mary's back muscles relaxed more, but Zuzu felt hers grow tighter. She
would have loved to donate a salad to someone's refrigerator, or even to
their garbage disposal.

But holidays were for families. Mary hadn't felt comfortable inviting a
guest to a dinner that her daughter-in-law was preparing, and Zuzu
didn't blame her. She wouldn't have accepted, anyway. She knew how that
went. She'd spent too many holidays with families who fussed too much,
trying to make her feel comfortable, and in the process making her feel
certain that she didn't belong.

"Ouch!" Mary tipped her surprised face up and around.

Zuzu lifted her hands, realizing she'd dug a mite too deeply into Mary's
muscles. "Sorry," she said. "I'd better be done. It's time to open the
store."

She walked Mary out the front door, then stood shiver-

28


ing in the cold, watching the older woman stroll toward the coffee shop
up Nickel Street. In a half hour, Mary would return with a cup of green
tea for Zuzu, a cappuccino for herself and a box of apple fritters to
share with their morning customers.

When Zuzu turned around to reenter Crystals 'n Cures, she noticed a
yellow flyer taped to the top of the window. She ripped it down and
crumpled it in her palm. The notice about a free community holiday feast
was just filler for the trash bin now, and that was a relief.

The winter holidays were often a bitter reminder of Zuzu's solitary
status, but this Thanksgiving had been tougher than usual. She was
turning thirty in a matter of weeks, and she was still alone. Always
alone.

Even though she'd lived in eight different foster homes during her
childhood, and as a consequence had had thirteen temporary foster
parents in addition to her one, sometimes well-intentioned birth mother,
Zuzu had usually felt strange at most holiday gatherings.

She'd learned a long time ago that if she wasn't needed at the
celebration—perhaps to help with dinner or to watch the kids—she was
better off finding something else to do with her time.

Impatient with her own negative thoughts, Zuzu grabbed the door's
handle. When she stepped back to tug it open, she bumped into an
approaching businessman.

"Pardon me," she said, glancing at him, then away. Then she looked
again, more slowly. She'd seen this man before. He was handsome, with
incredible laugh lines framing a pair of deep-set green eyes. His light
brown hair was cut in a trendy style, his tailored charcoal overcoat was
well-fitted and his expression oozed confidence. When he backed up a
couple of steps and stopped, Zuzu

29


29

recognized that he wasn't going to beg her pardon and walk around her.

He was peering into her eyes, but he only nodded when she said hello.
Then his gaze moved downward.

Zuzu knew her style of dress drew attention. Today's periwinkle bolero
jacket was trimmed with sequins, and the plum harem pants were fun. The
outfit was fitting for a woman called Zuzu, but unusual for an area of
town populated by men and women in business suits.

Men in nice overcoats, such as this one, did look at her. Sometimes they
smiled, but they seldom offered more than a simple greeting.

She scared them. She was certain.

When she finally stepped inside the shop, the man followed her. Zuzu
smiled brightly, tossed the crumpled paper into the trash can and
flipped the sign on the door from closed to open.

She doubted that he was visiting Crystals 'n Cures to shop. The store
sold New Age gifts. But he wouldn't be here to ask if he could tape a
handbill to the window, either. If Zuzu guessed correctly, this man had
a high-profile job in one of the corporate buildings nearby.

Zipping behind the counter, she gave him her full attention. "May I help
you?"

"I hope so." He came closer and pulled afeng shui brochure from the
cardboard tray beside the cash register. He glanced through it, then
refolded it and frowned as he slapped it against his palm a couple of
times.

Was he simply passing the time? Sort of odd behavior, to arrive at a
store Upon its opening and stand around loitering.

Now he was staring at her again. Maybe he was gathering his courage to
ask her out. Or perhaps to accuse her

30


of witchery. Men had done both, and she was curious about this one's
choice.

"I'm hoping we can trade favors," he announced.

"Oh?"

"I want you to watch for three girls who come in here together in the
afternoons," he said. "A thin brunette, almost your height, a blonde,
about four-eleven, and a smaller version of the first. They were in here
last week."

"Three girls?" Zuzu shook her head, confused. Trios of girls came into
Crystals 'n Cures all the time. Mary's things were all the rage at every
one of Kirkwood's schools.

"Right, a teenager and two preteens." He returned the brochure to the
rack, then pulled a business card from his pocket and held it out to
her. "If they come in again, would you contact me right away?"

Zuzu shook her head, refusing the card. "I couldn't possibly know which
girls," she said. "Maybe you should call missing persons or something."

He held the card out in the space between them. "They are my daughters,
and I'm not searching for them. I'm keeping an eye on them." A slight
smile turned him from important businessman to someone more personable.

Zuzu let her gaze linger on the curve of his lips, and in the meantime
he dropped the card on the counter between them. Pulling a pen from the
blue ceramic coffee cup near the cash register, he wrote something on
the back of the card.

"I know this is a hassle," he said as he finished and dropped the pen
into the cup, "but in return for the favor, I'm willing to offer you a
couple of free dinners in any of our local restaurants."

Who was this man, and where did he learn his powers of persuasion?
"You're offering me food to spy on your kids?"

31


31

"Right." His smile deepened, as if he was pleased that she'd understood.

But she hadn't. "I can't spy, even on a man's daughters."

He sighed. "After visiting your shop the other day, my kids went home
and attempted to chop down one of our trees."

Zuzu was horrified. "Did they hurt it?"

"It'll be touch-and-go for a while, but my gardener thinks the tree will
pull through."

She shook her head. "I didn't tell anyone to chop down a tree. One of my
dear friends is a gardener. I love trees."

He grabbed the list offeng shut tips and opened it again. "Is this
yours?"

Uh-oh. Mary had put Zuzu's name on the list. Many of the shop's patrons
assumed she was the owner, and Mary fostered that assumption. Sales were
highest when Zuzu ran the register.

"Is it?" he asked.

Zuzu had helped with the list. She smiled. "In a way."

Her visitor tapped his index finger against the print inside the
brochure. "In a way, then; your advice influenced my kids."

"People should use common sense," she said. "I would hope that most
people prune their trees properly, or have them moved by professionals."

"Ah! But teenagers and preteens have their own ideas about common
sense," he pointed out. "Your list is dangerous."

Zuzu took a deep breath, deciding she would ask Mary to change the list
and make the instructions more specific. After pulling the cardboard
tray dff the counter, she held it in her hands and shrugged. "Okay,
sorry."

The man peered more closely at her, as if he was taking her full
measure. Despite his accusations, he didn't ap-

32


pear to be truly angry. "You need to be careful about your advice, too,"
he said. "Thanks to you, I also lost a good employee."

Zuzu placed the tray on a low shelf, then met his gaze and shook her
head again. "Impossible."

"My daughters came in here with their nanny, and after speaking with you
she left for good."

Zuzu stared at the crystals in the window. Most young girls didn't have
a nanny. Not in Kirkwood, Kansas, anyway. But she remembered three girls
who'd exclaimed over the new zodiac pendants. They had been accompanied
by an older woman who'd longed for her family.

Suddenly, Zuzu realized which girls belonged to this man. She clapped
her hands, smiling brilliantly. "I know who they are! Your kids shop in
here often."

Then she returned her gaze to the window, but looked beyond the crystals
to the sleek building across from Mary's shop. Her knees weakened.
"You're Kyle Harper?"

He smiled again, but his eyes turned almost gray in their disinterest.
And that smile of his was the tiniest bit smug. He was accustomed to a
big reaction. He was waiting for it.

Well, he'd get one.

Zuzu walked around the counter and reversed the sign on the door again,
then stepped closer to him. "I've been meaning to talk to you," she said
in a low voice.

"You have?" He backed up a step and peered down at her.

Now that they were closer, Zuzu realized that he was over six feet tall.
She felt very petite and feminine. When she sensed her attraction toward
him grow stronger, she blinked.

Usually, she fell for charmers and artists.

Usually, charmers and artists were the only men bold enough to spare her
more than a smile.

This man seemed too solid. Too controlled. Too impor-

33


33

tant, and sure of that fact. She'd do a little teasing, just to make
certain he didn't puff up too big in her head.

Or his own.

She widened her eyes and leaned closer. "I was planning to visit you at
your office for a little chat."

"About what, exactly?"

'The new lamps in front of your building."

He frowned and shook his head.

"They are disrupting Mary's business," Zuzu said, widening her eyes.
"Now my boss is thinking about relocating, and she even mentioned
searching for a space in Topeka."

Kyle's frown grew forceful, making his eyes glow.

"Ever since you installed the lamps, Mary's had bad luck," Zuzu said.
'They're throwing off the shop's chi."

As if he hadn't been aware of the tall new lamps in front of his own
building, he turned around to study them. "We installed those lights to
make Nickel Street safer," he said. "Since we added them, sales are up
in this area by one-third. Our lamps should benefit your boss's shop,
not hurt it."

"Oh, her sales are up," Zuzu said. "But her cash register keeps breaking
and someone stole six sets of fu dogs."

"What kind of dogs?"

Zuzu pointed to a shelf that contained several ceramic-and-bronze
versions of the Asian-style statues. "Fu dogs," she repeated. "In feng
shui, they are used to guard the home and family."

"I see," he said, although he was clearly skeptical. "And you blame me
for those occurrences?"

Zulu giggled. "Not you, your lamps."

"Whatever." He backed his way to the door, but stopped when he reached
it. "Watch for my daughters, would you?" he asked, and then broke into a
chuckle. Maybe he'd realized she was teasing him.

34


Zuzu grinned.

She'd spent two of her favorite teen years living with the Tans, a
Chinese couple who had taught her much about balance and harmony. Zuzu
believed there was a lot of wisdom to the old philosophies, but this
afternoon, she'd held her tongue firmly in her cheek.

Close-minded people were fun to tease.

But as Zuzu watched Kyle, still standing in the doorway, she realized
that his eyes appeared tired but caring, and that he was too much of a
gentleman to make demands and barge out the door.

She liked him.

"Sorry about your tree," she said. "You're a good father."

He gave her a curious look.

"A lot of parents would have forbidden them to come in here again," she
explained. "It would have been easier."

"But it wouldn't have worked," he said as if surprised by Zuzu's
comment.

And pleased by her, somehow.

He stood with his back against the door, seeming hesitant about leaving
even while he shoved the door open behind him.

Zuzu didn't feel ready for him to leave, either. She wanted to make
amends. "Wait a minute!"

He stopped, halfway in and halfway out, allowing cold air to blast
through the shop.

Zuzu flew into the back room, grabbed her bag and brought it out. "Let
me pay for the tree," she said, thumbing through for her coin purse and
then opening it. "Sixteen dollars won't cover the gardener's charges,
but that's all I have in cash. I could owe you the rest."

"I don't need your money. Remember, my lights are throwing off the
shop's...chi." Kyle's incredulous gaze

35


35

told Zuzu that he didn't believe her claim, even though he was repeating
it.

She ignored his attitude. "I can't allow a shop visitor go away with a
negative experience. Let me make it up to you."

"If you'll call me when my girls come in, we'll be even," he said. "Take
advantage of the free meal offer, though." He nodded to the business
card he'd left on the counter. "If you show that to the host or hostess
at a Harper restaurant, they'll know I'm buying your dinner. I wrote
instructions for them on the back, and signed it."

Zuzu smiled brightly. "And you'll move the lights?" It might be a whim,
but she wanted to hold his attention.

"I didn't say that."

"I thought we were leaving things on a positive note."

"You offered to pay for the tree and I said it wasn't necessary. I
didn't say I'd move the lamps."

"But..."

He glanced at the cash register. "That machine is a dinosaur, and it
wasn't a good model when it was new. Also, this shop could use a
security system. Have your boss—Mary, was it?—call my office. I'll put
her in touch with a buddy of mine who sells both."

"Thanks." Zuzu must have looked disappointed, because he paused again.

"That might not be what you or Mary want, but I have three daughters
without supervision until I find a nanny," he said. Then he smiled,
tossed the feng shui list on top of the crumpled yellow flyer and left.

Kyle scowled as he glanced at the stack of art proofs on his desk the
next day. Since he had a meeting early tomorrow morning, he really
should study them. But he also needed to get home.

36


His mother had asked him to stop by to help trim his father's hair, Alex
had asked for help with math homework tonight, and Chelsea was hoping to
go to a friend's house after dinner. They were working on props for the
school's winter musical, and according to Chelsea, her classmate had
already painted an entire mountain range and twenty skiers without her
help.

If Kyle didn't get away from work soon, an evening's plans would be
ruined for quite a few people.

The intercom clicked, and Valerie's voice followed. "I'm heading home,
Kyle, but your last appointment is here."

He was finished with today's appointments. Perhaps his assistant had
made a last-minute addition. He frowned and picked up the phone, buzzing
Valerie before she left. "Did you get a name, Val?"

"No. But the lady said she was here to discuss your girls. It must be
about the nanny position."

The door drifted open, and once again Kyle found himself in Zuzu's
company. Today, she was dressed in a jacket and skirt that were almost
conservative—except for their vivid pink and the wild, matching hat. "I
thought it would be best if I reported in person," she said as she stood
in his doorway.

Her voice was memorable—smoky and youthful. It sounded as though she'd
lived a hundred years but had sustained a childlike fascination with the
world. Combined with her colorful style of dress, that voice explained
at least some part of her reputation as a mystic.

"Come in," Kyle said. "You've done well to get past my assistant. She
assumed you were here about the nanny spot."

Zuzu strolled across to his desk and set a small object on top of his
stack of paperboard proofs.

"What is this?"

37


37

"I wanted you to see the sort of trifle that lured your daughters into
Crystals 'n Cures."

It was a diamond-shaped pendant, with an etching on its flattened
middle. He frowned. "They were interested in a piece of glass with a dog
shape cut into it?"

"This one has a dog and theirs don't, but yes. Would you like to keep
it?" She nodded toward the bauble.

"Why would I?"

She picked up the crystal and held it up to let the window light catch
its edges. "Chelsea told me that you are an Aries, and that you'll be
thirty-six this year."

"That's right." Kyle's frown was questioning.

"You were born in the year of the dog," she said. "Your strongest
qualities are responsibility and faithfulness, but you can also be
distrustful. That explains a lot."

"Ah." Kyle nodded and, with some effort, removed the frown from his
face. "Well. No, thanks," he said dryly. "Is that all you wanted?"

She dropped the pendant into her pocket. "No, it's not."

He waved to a chair on the opposite side of his desk. "Have a seat."

Zuzu removed her hat, then stepped around the corner of his desk to
claim the chair's match, instead.

Alex had moved the second one after school, when she'd wanted to tell
him the latest buzz about one of her school friends and a seventh-grade
boy. Kyle hadn't returned the chair to its usual spot yet, and he wasn't
sure if he was glad or regretful.

From this vantage point, he had a full view of Zuzu's body. He tried not
to notice legs that appeared long on a woman who wasn't tall. "My kids
came into the shop again?"

"About an hour ago."

38


The runner that Kyle had paid to take his daughters straight home from
his office must have been more interested in their charms than his
money. "They didn't tell me they were planning to shop."

Zuzu set the hat in her lap, unbuttoned her jacket and settled back into
the seat. The baby-pink T-shirt underneath hugged her curves and drew
his attention for a moment.

"They'll probably tell you about it tonight," she said. "But it doesn't
matter. Nothing happened."

Her eyes were wide. Sydney and Alex often had that same expression when
they were trying to hide something from him.

But these eyes looked honest, and were a brown so dark and shiny they
reminded him of coffee, hot and perfect straight from the pot.

"Sydney and Alex argued," Zuzu said. "Chelsea and I mediated and
everything was fine. Your daughters might cause you some trouble at
times, but they're great kids."

"They didn't mention donating my car to charity or wonder aloud about
the benefits of joining a circus trapeze act?"

Zuzu giggled, which was another distraction.

And damn if she didn't get his jokes.

"No, they each bought a pendant similar to the one I showed you," she
said, still smiling. She leaned closer. "I don't think you should spy on
them."

Zuzu might be quirky but she was sharp. He smiled back, unable to
resist. "I have no choice. I'm having to leave them alone a lot."

"If they find out, they won't forgive you for a long time." Zuzu leaned
her chest even closer, then whispered, "They won't trust you."

He managed another quick and curious downward

39


39

glance, which he disguised behind a blink. Then he refo-cused on her
eyes. "Do you have a better suggestion?"

She sat back and chuckled. "Sure. Several."

This time, his stare was deliberate in timing and placement. He wondered
if that curvy body had nurtured a baby or two. "Do you have kids?"

"No. But I grew up around a lot of them."

"Big family?"

The sudden sobriety in her eyes was stunning, and her chuckle sounded
forced. "The foster-care system provided me with twenty-four temporary
brothers and sisters," she said. "I know about teenagers and their
troubles."

Kyle frowned. He'd never actually met anyone who'd grown up in foster
care. She must have lived through some tough times herself. Perhaps that
was why he felt so drawn to her.

"Your daughters are good kids," Zuzu reiterated. "You should set limits
but offer them choices."

Now it was his turn to laugh painfully. "They chose to chop down my
tree, which I didn't think to put on a list of off-limit items. Who
would have?"

Zuzu had the grace to blush. As Kyle watched her, the silence stretched
out between them, making the few feet separating them seem shorter.

And warmer.

Despite her reputation, Zuzu didn't act as if she knew what to do with
her own next minute.

And then she did.

She must have thought of something. She sat up straight and tilted a
frowning glance his way. Then she opened her mouth, took a deep breath
and let it back out.

And smiled. "/ have time on my hands right now. My

40


community-college class is off session and my massage appointments are
slow. Holidays coming up, you know."

Kyle had nodded politely at her listing of personal information, but he
stilled when he began to suspect where her discourse was leading.
Feeling a sneeze building, he pulled a tissue from the box on his desk.

"I could help with your kids until you find a nanny," Zuzu said. "I
could pick them up at their schools every day and take them home. I
could do whatever your nanny does."

He covered his nose and sneezed, then as fast as he could thought of
several reasons to squelch her idea at its outset.

For one thing, she'd already led his daughters astray. Nona, as well.
And despite his inquiries, he wasn't well acquainted with Zuzu. But some
contrary section of his brain was slowly developing reasons to take her
up on her proposition.

Coffee-brown eyes and a pink T-shirt on well-rounded curves. A
hauntingly sweet voice. Rose-tinted lips with a hint of sparkle. And a
kindness that was different enough to capture his thoughts.

Zuzu reminded him of the many softnesses of women, and she made him want
again.

That one was on both lists, really. It might be a main reason he was
tempted to consider her offer, but it was also a main reason to refuse.
When Beth died, he'd turned off those feelings. He had his walls and his
reasons. He was through with romance.

"You are the same woman who pummeled me with your feng shui tips and
advice," he said as he tossed the tissue into the trash can. "You're the
enemy."

"I'd like to make it up to you."

Kyle worked to control his thoughts. Her words hadn't been sexual, but
the image he saw was. It would be smart to send Zuzu away before any
more damage was done.

41


41

"Why should I allow you to enter my life and threaten more trouble?" he
asked.

Zuzu straightened her posture again. She looked indignant—a normal
reaction, from a normal woman.

She wasn't actually some sprite who'd danced out of the woods to add a
touch of magic to his world.

As if she'd read his thoughts, Zuzu said, "I'm a responsible adult
woman. I would have stopped your daughters from harming the tree. I
would have suggested that you or your gardener move it."

"You honestly believe this/e«g shui stuff works?"

"It might. It's based on complex principles that can't be printed in the
limited space of a brochure."

Kyle squinted at her. She was unconventional, but his daughters liked
her. Even if they didn't, he suspected that they could put worms in her
pasta or tell her he was marrying the king of England, and she wouldn't
quit.

She'd probably research the nutritional value of bugs or plan some sort
of feng shui engagement party. The kids would have a blast.

Kyle's child-care headaches might disappear for a while, but he'd
probably develop an ache of another kind. Zuzu didn't strike him as a
woman he could be involved with casually, and not just because she was
unusual. She appealed to him on a deeper level. In the grand scheme of
things, that ache would be worse than a temporary lack of a nanny.
"Sorry. It won't work," he said.

"What won't work?"

"Your idea about substituting. I need a permanent solution. Thanks
anyway." He stood up to show her out.

She stood up, too, clutching the hat in one hand while extending the
other hand toward him.

He reached out to accept her handshake, then realized

42


she'd offered her left hand. She was taking his hand in hers, not
shaking it.

"Wouldn't having me around temporarily be preferable to spying on your
children?" she asked, pressing her fingers gently against his palm.

Kyle was distracted by the feel of her hand. He didn't think he'd felt
skin so smooth and supple in his entire life. She must take good care of
herself. Her entire body was probably just as soft.

Softer.

He forced himself to keep his attention on her face. "Perhaps, but as
you said, Christmas is coming," he said. "I'll need full-time help
during the school break."

Zuzu tilted her head, then floated her gaze toward the ceiling. Her
smile turned wistful. "I can arrange that," she said almost musically.

That's right. She'd grown up in foster care, hadn't she—

He was arguing for her side.

She slid her hand from his. "Mary employs two college students who'd
like the extra hours during their school break, so I could take that
time off. I'm also unencumbered by family demands. It would be fun for
me, and you could put off the nanny interviews until after the
holidays."

Great. She was offering him a break from his hectic schedule. A
brilliant argument, that one. Kyle didn't have time to interview
nannies. He was busy enough, and he hadn't even thought about Christmas
shopping. Beth had always chosen gifts for everyone in the family,
except herself.

If Kyle accepted Zuzu's offer, he could get more done at the office and
he could take better care of the kids. Why was he fighting so hard? Zuzu
didn't appear to be all that dangerous, and he was a capable man. Surely
he could handle this oddly persistent attraction to her.

43


43

"Could you start tomorrow?" he asked.

Zuzu's eyes sparkled. "Sure."

"All right," he said. "But this is only until after New Year's. Then
I'll find a permanent solution."

After grabbing a tissue, Kyle covered his nose and sneezed three times
in quick succession. When he finished, he held on to the tissue.

Zuzu glanced at it, then frowned at him. "If you're getting a cold, you
should rest. Tomorrow, I'll bring you some green tea."

He grinned wryly. "I'm not sick. I've been sneezing lately, when I'm
nervous."

She nodded, as if his peculiar reaction to stress was quite common.
"Then I'm glad we agreed on this," she said. "I can probably ease things
for you."

He responded with another sneeze.

44


"I'm next!" Alex plopped onto the sofa beside Zuzu and scrutinized the
deck of cards on the coffee table. "I want to know if I passed my math
test."

"Tarot cards aren't like a Magic 8 Ball," Zuzu said. "You don't ask
yes-or-no questions."

Alex frowned, but she didn't seem upset. Zuzu suspected that the darling
girl needed attention, rather than answers. According to the Harper
kids' get-acquainted stories, the family had been through a few rough
years.

Zuzu was glad she was here. Although her reason for volunteering was to
make up for the trouble she'd caused, she felt that this was more than a
temporary favor for a family who would fade quickly into her memory. It
held more importance. It must be very good karma.

On the drive home from their schools a little over an hour ago, Zuzu had
asked Kyle's daughters what they wanted to do with their first afternoon
together. Of course they'd wanted her to predict their futures.

That was how they knew her—as Zuzu, the Crystals 'n Cures shop clerk
with mysterious powers. She'd pulled the tarot deck from her glove
compartment to appease their curiosity, but she wouldn't bring it back
in tomorrow.

45


45

Zuzu might play that role for adults who were more charmed by fantasy
than truth, but she wanted the Harper girls to know her for who she
was—a caring, fun-loving adult woman. Nothing more, nothing less.

She wasn't a witch, a healer or a psychic. She had no divine gifts, and
like most anyone else, she had only an occasional hunch about the
future. She did have a unique way of viewing the world, though. That was
probably explained by the fact that she'd been around her mother for
only a matter of months, all mixed up in failed trials from infancy to
age twenty-four.

Her given name wasn't even Zuzu. Wichita's Wesley Hospital had been
charged with her care during her first two weeks of life, and some of
the nurses had taken to calling her Baby Sue. When Zuzu's mother had
finally signed the birth certificate, she'd simply written down the name
others had given her child—Sue Clark.

No middle name. No imagination. No careful thought.

By eighteen, Zuzu was ready to start making choices for herself. She
disliked her name and the story behind it, so she'd renamed herself
Zuzu.

People didn't ask a Zuzu about her past. They asked her about their own
future. Early on, she had learned to form her own impressions about
people and relationships, and she must have gotten good at it. People
sought her advice all the time.

"Think about your question," Zuzu suggested to Alex now. "You can
probably figure out the answer for yourself."

A frown distorted Alex's face. "I studied for the test," she said. "But
I really, really don't know how well I did."

"When you left the test, how did you feel about it?"

"Like..." Alex's scowl deepened. "Like I got most of the answers, I
guess. But I wasn't sure about the last two."

46


"How many questions were there?"

"Fifty."

"So you see? You probably passed."

"Wow! You think so?"

Zuzu chuckled and gave the Magic 8 Ball answer. "It seems likely."

But the young girl was already trotting from the room, presumably to
tell her sisters that mystical, magical Zuzu had done it again.

It, in this case, was simple. She'd encouraged Chelsea to try out for a
part in the school's holiday musical; she'd told Sydney that a boy who
brushed past her in the school hallway every morning probably did like
her; and then she'd helped Alex answer her own question. That was all.

Kyle's daughters didn't need their futures told; they needed what Zuzu
had needed at their age—loving guidance.

All three girls filed back into the family room and found seats facing
Zuzu. Alex and Chelsea watched Sydney, who had shoved the dog out of the
way and claimed the prime spot on the sofa. Apparently, she was acting
as spokesperson for all three sisters now.

"Okay, we thought of a question," Sydney said. She picked up the tarot
deck and handed it to Zuzu. "Ask if we should spend New Year's here with
Dad or go skiing with some kids from school."

Another obvious answer. Holidays were for families.

Before Zuzu could reply, Kyle interrupted from the hallway. "Well, this
is a sight. Everyone's together, sitting around talking?"

"Dad!" Alex hollered, bouncing up from her chair to hug him. "It's,
like, really great! Zuzu is doing readings."

Kyle frowned at Zuzu. "Readings?"

47
Kaitlyn Rice Al

"From tarot cards," Alex explained. "They're like a Ouija board. They
tell people what to do."

'That's the short explanation," Zuzu said. "I think of them more as a
means for tapping into subconscious wishes. They're harmless, but I
didn't actually do a reading today."

All three of Kyle's daughters started jabbering. Since Zuzu had spoken
to them separately, each was only now realizing that their amazing,
temporary nanny hadn't consulted the cards for the others. Despite the
pandemonium, Kyle was scowling at Zuzu as if he'd caught her waving a
sorcerer's wand and chanting an incantation to turn his kids into
miniature pink dragons.

Once again, Zuzu ignored his attitude. "Today went well," she said, then
quieted when she realized she couldn't be heard over the commotion.

"Hey!" Kyle shouted. When his daughters stopped talking, he sent them
upstairs to do their homework. Their groans were echoed by Bonnie's, as
she lumbered to her feet to follow Chelsea.

Then he turned back to Zuzu. "You had no problem finding the schools or
the house?"

"None."

"Good, let's do our business in my study."

Our business? Zuzu stared at Kyle's broad, retreating shoulders for a
moment before following him to a handsome room with wide-plank
floorboards and oversize furniture. It smelled woodsy and inviting. She
imagined that he retreated here often. He crossed to a desk and pulled a
small, leather-bound book from a drawer. Opening it on the desktop, he
frowned at the writing inside.

Zuzu studied his face. She thought it would be fun to kiss him, simply
to see if he'd lose some of the control that ruled his every action.

48


"Since this is a short-term arrangement and only a few hours a day, we
won't do paperwork," he said. "Have you thought about what you need?"

"Need?"

"What do I owe you?" He thumped an index finger against the
leather-bound book.

It was a checkbook. Kyle wanted to pay her. But payment would put her on
the receiving end of goodwill. Zuzu had felt like, a charity case and a
burden for the entire eighteen years of her childhood. She couldn't
allow herself to be either now. She tried to give more than she
got—always. "Oh, no. I'm making up for the trouble I caused," she said,
shaking her head emphatically. "I don't expect to be paid for this."

"Of course I'll pay you." Kyle's gaze moved downward. He seemed to be
focusing inward to think, but his stare stopped at her chest. "Let's
say.. .thirty dollars a day."

"For an hour at a time?" Zuzu heard the high-pitched nervousness in her
tone, and lowered her voice before continuing. "That's ten dollars for
each kid!"

"Right. You gave up your personal time to pick them up at three
different schools, drive them out here and keep them occupied. Your
trouble is worth at least thirty bucks."

"Your daughters are delightful. Not a problem at all," Zuzu said. "I
don't want payment."

"What do you want?" His focus moved downward again.

If Zuzu didn't know better, she would believe he was having sexual
thoughts. But the newspaper reports described him as a reclusive
widower. It must be her imagination.

Which had caused her countless problems in the past.

She'd ignore it.

"Until you hire a nanny, I want to come to your house every day and
spend time with your kids. If you pay me, I'm not restoring harmony."

49


49

"Harmony?"

Again, Zuzu was enchanted by the crinkling at the corners of his eyes.
But she was also embarrassed. For some reason, she cared about Kyle's
opinion of her. "That's right," she said.

He walked around his desk and stopped a foot away from her. "But if I
don't pay you, there could be a problem."

"Oh?"

"If you hang around as a favor, it might make this too easy." He
summoned her with a curl of his index finger.

Zuzu took a single step forward, which put her near enough to study his
eyes. Too close for comfort, really, but she stayed there. She was
curious about his next move. Curious about what he was thinking.

His expression grave, he grabbed the gold ties at the neck of her
sweater and tugged her forward, until the fronts of her thighs met his.

And then he kissed her.

At first, Zuzu was too shocked to respond. Even though she'd thought
about kissing him, she couldn't believe she was actually doing it.

But his mouth was warm and provocative. She lifted her hands slowly to
his, pulling his arms around her waist and softening her lips. This man,
his kiss and their physical attraction fascinated her.

The kiss grew hungrier. Kyle slanted his head more, opening his mouth
and teasing her lips with the tip of his tongue. He moved one strong
hand to the back of her head, keeping her face close. Keeping her
involved.

He seemed to want to devour her, starting with her mouth. She nearly
swooned when she imagined that mouth moving on to other, sensitive
places. As if they were bidding for the next available slot, her breasts
started to tingle.

50


Table for Five

Despite a nagging hesitation in Zuzu's mind, she leaned forward, so that
her face, chest, hips and legs met his at every possible point. When she
felt his arousal, hard and tempting against her belly, her pelvic
muscles loosened. This kiss was hotter than any of the other kisses Zuzu
had experienced in her lifetime, with men she'd known better.

But she didn't trust men with this part of herself.

She opened her eyes and jerked backward.

Kyle stepped back, too, surprise showing clearly in his expression. Then
he slammed his eyes shut and frowned, as if he was concentrating.

She found her voice first. "Do you always kiss your daughters' nannies
like that?"

He sneezed. Then he opened his eyes and shook his head.

"Why me?" she asked.

He held her gaze and considered her question for a moment. "Mostly
timing," he finally said. "My wife's been gone for three years. That's a
long time for a man to be alone and you're an alluring woman."

"Thanks, I think."

"You're also easy to talk to," he added quietly. "But I don't get
involved."

She tilted her head, wondering. Kyle's sexuality must be a vital part of
him, but he'd shut off those feelings. Perhaps they had more in common
than she'd initially thought.

"I loved my wife, Beth," he said, his voice low but matter-of-fact. "I'm
finished with that part of my life."

Zuzu recognized this honorable man from the newspaper accounts, and she
respected his love for his late wife. Still, she felt a tiny bit
snubbed. "I wouldn't have thought anything else," she said. "Even if
you'd never been married, we would have been wrong for each other."

"That's right," he said. "You're a free spirit, aren't you?"

51


51

"I meant that you are dominant and overorganized," she said. After
edging toward the door, Zuzu glanced back at him again. "One kiss won't
change the world. I suspect that ours was based on mutual curiosity,
which is a healthy mental state. Don't worry about it."

"Right. But that kind of curiosity between an employer and employee is
not acceptable. If I pay you, it'll put a line between us that I won't
cross."

Oh. He'd kissed her to prove his point. That was all. She backed up
another step. "Fair enough, pay me. And in the future if you beckon me
with your finger I won't come."

"And if you look at me like you want me to kiss you, I'll pay no
attention."

She caught her breath. "Did I look at you like that?"

He nodded.

"When?" Her voice was squeaking again.

"All the time."

She bumped into the door, shutting it accidentally. And enclosing
herself and Kyle inside his warm, woodsy and very secluded study.
Immediately, she turned to open the door as wide as possible. When she
peeked back at Kyle, he was already leaning over his desk, writing in
the checkbook.

"Thirty dollars a day," he repeated, and tore out the check. His
expression was businesslike when he handed it across to her. As if he'd
forgotten everything that had happened between the first and second
times he'd said the same words.

Zuzu folded the check and slipped it into her skirt pocket. It would be
wise to accept payment, then find another opportunity to balance things
out. That kiss would probably remain in her memory as the sexiest thing
she'd ever experienced, but it would be even wiser to follow Kyle's lead
and pretend she'd forgotten it.

He might believe that he'd been loved enough for a life-

52


time, but Zuzu's reason for resisting was even better. In her lifetime,
she'd never been loved enough.

Ten days later, Zuzu felt more comfortable in her temporary role as the
Harpers' nanny. She was having a great time with Kyle's kids, and since
they'd told her their reasons and strategies for chasing off their
previous nannies, she knew they must like her, too.

Kyle invited her back into his study once a week to pay her, but they
kept a respectable distance between them. He sat at his desk, and she
sat across the room on his sofa. They usually traded news about the
kids, homework and upcoming schedules, but sometimes their talk turned
to other things. They shared surprisingly similar views about world news
and local politics, and they seemed to find a lot of nothing to talk
about, too. He'd been right about that.

Although Zuzu accepted his payment, in her heart she refused to consider
this time with the Harpers as a job. She enjoyed it too much.

Now she sat in her car with his daughters, admiring an eagle that was
soaring over the wooded area at the edge of Willow Lake, a few miles
north of town. The bird made a wide circle over the car, coming close
enough that Chelsea could marvel at its wingspan.

Zuzu smiled at the girls' excited whispers. Minutes ago, she had spotted
the bird and pulled over to let them watch it from her car windows. When
she'd told them that an eagle sighting was considered to be good luck,
their halfhearted bickering had ceased. In an instant, they had come
together in spirit. The best families always worked that way.

The eagle flew out of sight beyond the treetops, and Zuzu returned to
the road. She listened to the girls' quiet comments and anticipated a
pleasant evening. The sight-

53


53

ing had only deepened her mood. She'd already been feeling good, and
wondering why.

Usually, she felt somber on her birthday. She told herself that tonight
was a fluke. Kyle could have no idea that it was a special day for her.
A handful of people in the world remembered Zuzu's birth date, and she
preferred it that way.

She usually celebrated alone. Tonight, she'd planned to stop on the way
home from the Harpers' house to pick up a mushroom-and-tomato pizza.
She'd thought she would listen to her favorite Nora Jones CD while she
ate, and she had a frozen carrot cake thawing in the fridge for dessert.

But coming out to eat with the Harper family sounded fun. She'd never
been to Tiers Restaurant. She'd heard that the food and the ambience
were unforgettable. Perhaps her anticipation explained her mood.

As soon as Zuzu had parked near the restaurant, Chelsea and Alex hopped
out of the back seat and walked quickly toward the entrance. Sydney
remained in the passenger seat, staring into the visor mirror as she
finger-combed her hair.

Zuzu checked the parking lot. "I don't see your dad's car yet," she
said. "I thought he was leaving work right after he called."

Sydney gave her bangs a final fluff, then turned to look at Zuzu. "He
had to go pick up Grandpa Eddie," she said. "You know about Grandpa,
right?"

"I've read a few newspaper articles. He has Alzheimer's?"

"Yeah." Sydney directed a frown across the car at Zuzu. "Dad brings
Grandpa Eddie out to eat with us every once in a while. Be ready for
anything. Grandpa can be a handful."

Zuzu got out of the car and waited for Sydney. "Doesn't your grandma
come along?" she asked on the way inside.

"Sometimes." Sydney's tall shoes clunked against the

54


concrete a few times before she continued. "Normally, she stays home,
though. She needs time to relax."

Before they opened the heavy wooden doors to Tiers, Zuzu glanced back at
the road, expecting Kyle's car to appear at any moment. Now she was even
more excited about the evening. She was eager to meet Eddie Harper.
Since she'd never really known her own father, she'd always felt an
affection for older gentlemen.

Maybe tonight she could help Kyle's dad. Maybe she could repay part of
her debt to the Harpers.

A young man in a dress shirt and tie opened the entry door to greet
them, then waited to take their coats. Sydney slipped out of hers and
handed it to the host, then walked inside the restaurant. Obviously, she
was comfortable at Tiers, which was, after all, a Harper-owned
restaurant.

Zuzu gave her cloak to the young man, then noticed Kyle entering the
foyer from inside. A thrill ran through her heart. She was surprised to
see him already inside, but more surprised by the intensity of her
reaction.

"We didn't see your car," she said, spying the coats that he held draped
over his arm.

"I brought my dad, and he's having a rough day," Kyle said. "I parked
near the kitchen entrance, thinking it might be best if we came in
quietly."

It was difficult to see a loved one suffer through a debilitating
illness, Zuzu knew. Her own mother had been an alcoholic before she'd
died in a single-car accident six years ago. Zuzu had seldom seen her
healthy.

Kyle turned slightly to speak to the host and hand the coats across, so
Zuzu let her gaze wander over him.

Instead of concentrating on his broad shoulders or nice suit, Zuzu
noticed, mostly, his watchful green eyes. Those

55


55

eyes looked as if they'd known extremes of pleasure and pain. For some
reason, she took comfort in them.

However, when Kyle returned his attention to her, she feigned the same
friendly but distant manner she adopted every day when he arrived home
from work. She swung around to admire the gigantic white Christmas tree
set up in a corner of the foyer, then smiled vacantly at Kyle. She
didn't want to be accused of conjuring up kisses again.

"Thanks for bringing my daughters," he said. "My meeting took longer
than expected and I was short on time."

"No problem," she murmured. "Thanks for inviting me."

The host opened the door again, and Kyle's eyes lit up as he gazed past
Zuzu's shoulder. "There you are, Jenn!" he called out. "Glad you could
make it."

Zuzu studied the new arrival. A woman with flowing, jet-black hair and a
huge smile handed her coat to the attendant, then rushed past her toward
Kyle. Their hug looked toasty. Zuzu was still trying to talk herself out
of a flash of jealousy when they both turned to her.

"Zuzu, this is my cousin Jenny," Kyle said. "Jenny is the executive chef
here at Tiers."

After Kyle had introduced Zuzu as a friend, she felt so much better,
that she hugged Jenny, too. Then Kyle's cousin linked elbows with Zuzu
and led them all inside.

As soon as they rounded the corner into the dining room, Zuzu's step
faltered. With one glance, she knew the reason for the restaurant's
name, as well as at least part of its success. An entire wall was made
up of windows, and four rows of semicircular tables faced the lake at
graduated levels. All the customers would have a stunning view, no
matter where they sat in the room.

Kyle's cousin Jenny had also paused. Zuzu looked at her, intending to
comment, but Jenny was staring at a table

56


on the top level, where Kyle's daughters were sitting with an elderly
man. Abruptly, the man pushed his chair back and stood up, as if ready
to leave. Sydney leaned across and spoke to him, presumably directing
him back into his seat. The man sat down, muttering.

"Aw, darn. Is your dad on a downswing again?" Jenny asked, glancing back
at Kyle.

Kyle sighed heavily, then shrugged as he watched his father. "He's been
this way for a couple of days," he said. "We're hoping it isn't a
permanent change."

Zuzu studied the white-haired man, who was hunched over the table.

"It's hard to see Uncle Eddie this way," Jenny said.

"I know." Kyle's deep, ragged tone spoke volumes. Zuzu recognized the
difficulty of his situation. His cousin must have sympathized, also,
because she patted Kyle's arm and offered him a gentle smile.

"Maybe a great dinner will help. You know how much he loves to eat. I'll
check on things in the kitchen." She headed for the service door while
Zuzu approached the table with Kyle.

Kyle rested his hand on his dad's shoulder, bending near to speak
directly to him. "Dad, this is my friend Zuzu Clark," he said gently.

His dad frowned.

"Zuzu, this is my dad," Kyle said. "He responds best to just 'Eddie.'"

Pulling out an empty chair for Zuzu, Kyle whispered into her ear,
"Sorry. Sometimes he gets lost inside his head."

Zuzu sat down, and couldn't help but notice that Eddie kept mumbling to
his own hands, which were folded in his lap. Then he stood up again.

Kyle returned to his side. He eased Eddie into the chair

57


57

and sat in the empty seat next to him. Then, gazing down the table at
Zuzu, he explained his habit of eating in Harper restaurants once a
week. He liked to bring his father, he said, because Eddie had started
the tradition almost fifty years ago.

In the middle of Kyle's explanation, Eddie thrust both elbows onto the
table and craned his neck around to gape at Zuzu. "Who is the little
gal?" he hollered.

Chelsea and Alex giggled, but Kyle simply repeated the introduction as
if nothing unusual had happened.

"My friend Zuzu Clark," Eddie parroted, seeming to process the
information this time. Then he lifted his eyes to view out the windows,
making Zuzu think he was perking up.

Jenny arrived at the table and sat in the seat next to Zuzu; the
waitress took their orders, left again and returned with drinks; and
Kyle got up to greet two groups of diners who were just arriving.
Everyone in the dining room appeared to be chattering and laughing.

And all the while, Eddie sat and stared out the window.

When their dinners arrived, the sights and smells made Zuzu's mouth
water. She'd ordered grilled shrimp, and it was presented beautifully
over a nest of julienne potatoes.

She glanced at Eddie watching for his reaction to the food Kyle had
ordered for him. He was having lemon-grilled chicken, and the cook had
cut it into small bites. Kyle picked up his dad's fork and handed it to
him. "It's time to eat, Dad. This is chicken, your favorite."

Eddie gripped the fork in his right hand, but he didn't break his stare.
Everyone at the table started eating and commenting on their choices. A
moment later, Eddie bent forward to peer at Zuzu again. "It's about time
you found a girlfriend," he bellowed. Then he pointed his fork at Kyle.
"You'll need a table for five again."

58


Jenny chuckled at this comment, but Kyle looked serious. "Dad, Zuzu is
only a friend."

Eddie dropped his fork and used his fingers to eat a green bean. "I like
your little woman," he said clearly.

"She's not my little woman."

"Shh!" Zuzu said to Kyle, scowling. Surely it wouldn't hurt to humor the
dear old man. He'd come to life!

Then she shifted her attention to Eddie again, hoping to keep him
engaged. "I like you, too," she said. "And your son is great, even if he
is a tad shy about our relationship."

When Kyle directed an intense frown her way, she filled her mouth with
food and tried not to giggle.

A moment later, she asked, "Have you tasted your chicken yet, Eddie?"

He didn't respond, so she smiled at him. "Your granddaughters are
wonderful. Actually, they are the ones who brought me and Kyle togeth—"

This time, Kyle's scowl was so menacing it nearly caused Zuzu to drop
the glass of water she'd just picked up. She scowled back. She was only
trying to help.

Then Kyle shoved back his chair and stood. "May I speak to you in
private?" he asked, still glaring at her.

"Sure." Zuzu put her napkin beside her plate, smiled at Alex, who was
muffling some giggles behind a napkin, and got up.

After Kyle paused to greet a pair of customers who'd waved at him, he
led Zuzu to the end of the row and then down the levels to the windows in front.

"People are watching. Pretend you are interested in the view," he
murmured, motioning toward the lake. Then he frowned at the napkin he'd brought along, stuffed it into his pants pocket and swiveled toward the
water. "What are you doing?" he asked in a conversational tone.

59


59

Zuzu stared at him. "Helping your dad be happy."

"Remember to look out the window," Kyle murmured, refusing to glance up
at her.

After she'd faced the lake, Kyle said, "If you can't tell, my dad's
pretty confused."

Zuzu shook her head, sighing. "If he has Alzheimer's, he must be
confused a lot. Don't you want him to be happy?"

"I just don't think you should lie to him."

"I haven't lied," Zuzu said, again looking at Kyle. "I've simply played
along with an idea that has caught his interest. If he'll forget by tomorrow, why not let him believe what he wants to believe tonight?"

Kyle directed his gaze toward their table and his dad. "He is more
alert, isn't he?"

"I think he likes the idea of you being happy," Zuzu said. "Somewhere
inside his head, your dad is still your dad, Kyle. Can't we let him have a nice evening?"

Kyle pulled a handkerchief from his jacket pocket and covered his nose
before he sneezed. Then, sniffling, he returned it to his pocket and stared out at the water. He seemed to be weighing his choices. Finally, he turned back to her. "Okay, but be careful," he warned.

Zuzu took that as a yes.

She grinned, then stood on tiptoe to press a kiss against his cheek.
"It'll be fine, you'll see," she whispered. "Allowing your dad to be
happy is very good karma."

She led him back up to the table. On the way, Kyle sneezed four more
times.

Between sneezes, he muttered, making all kinds of strange comments about
restaurant fires, pestilence and ruin.

But Zuzu was right. The ploy worked. Eddie didn't become a brilliant
conversationalist, but he ate his dinner and he didn't mumble or pop up
out of his chair again.

60


By dessert time, Kyle seemed more relaxed. He talked to his daughters
about school, split a gigantic piece of chocolate cake with his father
and put up with quite a few daughterly jests about his new romance.

After Jenny had excused herself to return to the kitchen and chat with
the staff, Kyle stood up. "It's a school night," he said. "We'd better
go. Alex, be a doll and go grab all our coats from the cloakroom. My
car's around back, so we can say our goodbyes to Zuzu right here."

Alex left and the other two girls came around to hug Zuzu, but Eddie
remained seated. "Dad, it's time to go," Kyle said, taking his father's
elbow to help him up.

Zuzu realized she might not see Eddie again, so she circled the table to
tell him goodbye.

"Are you all right getting home?" Kyle asked from across his father's
shoulder.

"Sure."

"She's not coming with us?" Eddie asked, his scraggly white eyebrows
dropping low on his forehead.

"No, Dad," Kyle said gently. "Zuzu will drive herself to her own home
now. Say goodbye here."

Eddie nodded. "Kiss her goodbye, then."

"Nope. Don't need to. We've...well, we've already kissed." Kyle glanced
at his daughters.

"Kiss her goodbye," Eddie bellowed. "John Wayne would kiss his little
woman goodbye. Roy Rogers would kiss Dale Evans. Any good guy would kiss
his woman at the end."

Kyle gave Zuzu an "I told you so" look. Leaning close, he murmured,
"Still believe duping my dad is good karma?"

As it happened, Zuzu did. The sweet old guy was visibly more alert. If
Kyle didn't think a little discomfort was worth that, he was dead wrong.

He'd probably try to weasel out of the kiss, but Zuzu

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wouldn't let him. She stood on tiptoe again and stared him in the eye.
"Goodbye, Kyle," she said, and then pressed her mouth firmly to his.

A kiss for good karma.

That was all it was.

But Kyle tasted good, like deep, dark chocolate and big, sexy man.
Lingering for a minute was impossible to resist. Then Kyle changed the
kiss from something simple to something very, very complex. When he
parted his lips, Zuzu felt too involved to break away. She, too,
deepened her response.

When his warm hands spread across her lower back, pulling her closer,
she stepped into his embrace. His tongue dipped inside her mouth with
quick but erotic fervor, and she allowed it—kissing him back with the
same hunger until she forgot where she was and what she was trying to
do.

And then, she thought she heard bells ringing.

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A high, repetitive clanging sounded in Kyle's head and kept repeating
until he couldn't ignore it. He moved his face back slightly, letting
his gaze drift across to the source of that sound. To his dad.

The old guy was using his fork to bang on his nearly empty water glass.
Jeez. The old guy had always loved any excuse to celebrate, hadn't he?
Now he smiled at Kyle and said, "Good guy."

Her arms full of coats, Alex arrived back at the table and stood gaping
at him. "Wow, Dad!" she said in a high-pitched voice that carried across
the dining room. "You kissed Zuzu! Like, really planted a banger on
her!"

Oh, he knew. What he couldn't fathom was how he had let this situation
get away from him. And how he'd allowed that kiss to turn into public
foreplay.

Kyle heard a scattering of applause. Glancing sideways, he noted with
panic that several groups of diners had stood up and started clapping.
He looked back at Zuzu. She was standing close, with her mouth parted,
and she was breathing fast. Her reaction could stem from her own sense
of panic or from lingering passion.

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63

Or from both, perhaps. Or maybe she was angry. Since the entire
situation had been her fault, she should forgive him.

Zuzu starting wiggling, as if struggling to free herself, and Kyle
realized that his hands were still at the small of her back, holding her
captive.

As though she were fire, he let her go, lurching backward. But he knew
he was too late.

Tonight's entire crowd must have heard the clinking of his father's
glass. Many of them must have seen the kiss, and those who hadn't must
have heard Alex's excited reaction. By now, almost everyone in the
restaurant was turning to grin toward their table.

And Kyle's dad was guffawing as he kept banging on that damn glass.

Kyle reached across and took his father's fork. "That's enough, Dad," he
said quietly.

His father's scowl was huge.

"It'll be all right," Kyle said, intending to soothe his father but also
trying in vain to convince himself. He needed to think, but it was hard
to think past the pressure of the clapping audience, the scowling dad,
the confused woman and the children...who simply looked shocked.

The wide-eyed wonder in all three of Kyle's daughters' faces was almost
comical in intensity. The crowd would surely notice that, too.

This was what Kyle got for giving in to his emotions. It was always
tough to bring his dad out in public. He worried that others wouldn't
see what he did—the beautiful spirit at the core of the bumbling old
man.

And so he'd let his guard down, and something about Zuzu had gotten to
him. She'd been hell-bent on helping Eddie. Her ploy might have been
misguided, but it was also

64


the sweetest thing anyone had done for either Kyle or his father in a
long time.

Kyle felt a bead of sweat trickle down his temple. "Girls! Sit down for
a minute," he hissed when he realized they were still gawking at him.

As if he'd knocked them down like a row of dominoes, each of his
daughters sat in quick succession. Zuzu was last in line. She stared at
him for a moment longer, her eyes dark and unreadable. Then, as if she'd
just located the nerves running from her brain to her muscles, she
plopped down into the nearest seat and glared at him.

Now only Kyle and his father were standing. His father picked up on the
crowd's continued applause and started clapping. "Good guy. Kiss your
little woman again!"

If anyone in the crowd had been inclined to stop clapping, Eddie
Harper's enthusiasm would have changed their mind. They kept watching
and clapping and smiling for what seemed like an hour. A table of
regulars picked up their glasses and held them out, ready to toast Kyle
and his lady. Others followed suit.

They expected an announcement.

Why did anyone bang on a glass in a restaurant? And now that he was
thinking of it, on which occasions would a man kiss a woman as
thoroughly as he had kissed Zuzu? In front of his family, his employees
and a roomful of his clients?

Obviously, the crowd expected an engagement announcement—his. To Zuzu.

For a while now, people had been asking Kyle when he was going to get
involved again, and he'd always answered truthfully—never. He'd been
lucky to find true love early, he'd said, and he would be selfish to
expect another go-round. The Kirkwood Courier had done an interview with

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65

him last summer at the opening of a new restaurant, and he'd repeated
the sentiment.

Now he studied Zuzu, wondering. She was just different enough—just
special enough to have caught his attention. Was she the woman who could
change his mind? Surely that was impossible.

Kyle cleared his throat, feeling that he had little choice but to give
the customers what they expected. If he announced his engagement, the
crowd would at least stop clapping and sit down, he could get the heck
out of there, and he'd have time to think about what to do.

Peering down at Zuzu, he said simply, "Uh. Stand up again, would you?
And play along. I'll explain later."

After she'd done so, he grabbed two water glasses from the table, handed
one to Zuzu and extended the other toward the crowd. "Ladies and
gentleman," he said. "Allow me to introduce, uh..."

Lord, what was he doing? Solving a problem? Or creating a catastrophe?
Confound it, he was going to sneeze again.

With his left hand, he yanked the handkerchief out of his jacket pocket
and covered his nose. "Ki-i-choo!"

The crowd laughed, and Zuzu with them.

He stuffed his handkerchief back into his pocket, then looked out at the
crowd again, feeling both relieved and thunderstruck. "This is Zuzu
Clark, my fiancee," he finally said.

A couple of rowdy restaurant patrons actually cheered. People got really
crazy when they were sated with good food and wine. Kyle waved both
hands in a downward motion until the crowd began to sit again.

Catching the eye of a veteran waitress, he said, "To celebrate, your
waiter or waitress will bring your next drink on the house." Then he
nodded a silent directive for the waitress to pass the word to the rest
of the waitstaff.

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There. That should appease the crowd until he could figure out what to
do next.

Kyle eyed Zuzu, who still had her mouth open as she stared at him. He
stared back, briefly entertaining the hope that he'd wake up and realize
that this was a nightmare. Zuzu had been in his dreams often enough
since he'd met her. Lately, she'd made nightly appearances there.

He wasn't so lucky tonight. She was right there—mere feet away from
him—and appearing quite stunned for a woman more inclined to shock than
be shocked. She was wearing pink dreadlocks tonight, for God's sake. Why
on earth couldn't she leave her hair down, and in one normal color?
Brunette, blond or red would be fine alone. Even mixed, those colors
would be all right, but adding pink to the combination and then braiding
every hair on her head was just overkill.

At least she'd worn normal-looking clothes. Her body-hugging green skirt
and silky pink top were fitting for an evening out. If the truth were
told, she was pretty tonight. Before their kiss and his forced
announcement, he'd been intrigued by the way her outfit suggested her
deep femininity without exposing too much of it.

Now his perspective had changed. He was seeing her as the restaurant
patrons must see her—as Kyle Harper's fiancee. The well-known, widowed
businessman had just announced his engagement to a woman in pink
dreadlocks.

Unbelievable.

But it was all right. Kyle was noted for his vision. He'd find a way to
manage this mess. Perhaps he and Zuzu could fake a short engagement,
just long enough to quiet the tumult that was sure to follow. If he kept
control of the situation, he'd survive it.

Right now, however, Kyle intended to leave through the

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67

service entrance before someone noticed something else to get excited
about.

Walking casually around to Alex, Kyle took the mass of coats from her
and then circled the table, handing the rest to their owners. "Put these
on," he said quietly.

As everyone at the table complied, Kyle picked up his overcoat, shrugged
into it and then turned toward his father.

The old cuss was just standing there grinning. Kyle helped him into his
coat, and as he zipped the zipper, his dad repeated, "Good guy."

Then he started clapping again.

Kyle pulled his father's hands apart and down. "That's enough, Dad," he
said. "It's over."

Then he turned to Zuzu, struggling to think. "We need to talk," he said.
"But not here and now. I'll get in touch with you tomorrow."

Without waiting for a response, Kyle draped an arm around his father's
back, said, "Girls, follow me," then headed for the back doors. On the
way, Kyle reminded himself that he was a savvy businessman with a strong
drive to succeed. He'd handled situations much worse than this one. He'd
handled his wife's death, his and his daughters' subsequent mourning and
his dad's deterioration from Alzheimer's disease. This was no big deal.

A skinny man with blond curls blocked the aisle. Kyle paused for a
moment, expecting the man to step aside. It must be obvious that Kyle's
father needed help getting out of the restaurant. But the man stared
past Kyle's left shoulder, then lifted a camera to his face and peered
through the lens. "That's right, miss," he said. "Stand there with your
fiance. That's excellent. Now, smile!"

Kyle blinked at the camera flash, then glanced to his left. He hadn't
realized Zuzu was beside him. She should have

68


gone the other way, toward the front door and her own car. Her face was
very white, and she seemed to be breathing in slow motion. The camera
flashed again, then the man said thanks and disappeared.

Kyle had always been amazed at the attention he received simply for
being a Harper. He was just a businessman, after all, with a life that
was boring more often than not.

Just not right now.

Right now, Kyle felt as though he was on a runaway roller coaster,
headed toward the curve from hell and praying that the car wouldn't jump
the track.

Taking his father's hand again, Kyle led him toward the service doors,
hoping his daughters were still following. All the way down the long
hallway that led past the kitchen, the storerooms and the offices, Kyle
thought about what had happened. Despite their attraction, he'd met Zuzu
only a couple of weeks ago. She wasn't exactly the type of person he
would involve himself with romantically, even if he did plan to engage
in romance again in this lifetime.

Which he didn't. Really.

So it was a moot point.

When Kyle reached the outer door, he stopped abruptly, turning to make
sure his daughters had caught up before he headed outside.

Zuzu ran face-first into his chest.

Kyle let go of his dad's hand and gripped Zuzu's upper arm, moving her
backward about two steps and holding on until she got her bearings.

Damn, her skin was soft. He moved his thumb against her shoulder,
wanting suddenly, madly, to pull her through a darkened doorway to
explore that exotic blend of delicate skin and firm muscle. Wanting to
explore that soft, rosebud mouth again.

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69

Other soft, budded things, as well.

He let go of her hand a half second after his body responded. His wild
attraction to her was foolish.

Straightening his stance, he also worked on correcting his thoughts.
Apparently, he wasn't ready to deal with Zuzu. Hadn't he told her he'd
talk to her tomorrow? He wanted time to recuperate before he dealt with
the questions in those big, brown eyes. "You followed me out?" he asked.

"You told me to," she said.

"No, I didn't."

"Oh, no? You barked, 'Girls, follow me,' and we all followed," she said.
"I had no idea where you were headed. I've had no idea about why you've
done most of the things you've done this evening."

Kyle had never seen Zuzu looking so serious. He had an urge to console
her, which he fought back. Consoling could lead to touching, and
touching Zuzu was asking for trouble. Tonight's catastrophe should have
taught him that.

Kyle's daughters began to bunch up behind Zuzu. This hallway wasn't
meant for public access, so it was wide enough to load and unload
equipment and supplies, but not wide enough for a crowd. Kyle backed up
against one wall and gaped at Zuzu, who stood opposite him. They were as
far apart as possible, yet they were close enough to touch.

With Zuzu scowling across from him, his father smiling beside him and
his daughters pushing in from the other side, Kyle felt claustrophobic.

"Isn't your car out front?" he asked Zuzu.

"Yes."

"Mine's out there." He nodded sideways, toward the exit door. "I'm
taking Dad home and then the girls." Kyle knew he sounded dull. He felt
dull.

Zuzu tilted her head.

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"You're going to your house in your car," he said. "So you should have
gone out the front door, right?"

Zuzu stepped away from the wall, which put her too close to him again.
"You expect me to go home now?"

"Yes."

"Without an explanation?"

Please. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She glanced left, toward his father, and right, toward his kids. Perhaps
she was realizing they shouldn't talk here, within range of so many
perked-up ears. But she pinned his gaze with hers. "Okay, but answer one
question before I go," she said.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Why?" she asked.

"What do you mean, why? The crowd expected to hear exactly what they
heard."

"Come on, now," Zuzu said, tilting her head again in that curious, sexy
way she did. "It was only a kiss."

Right. Only a kiss. How could Kyle expect Zuzu to understand why he'd
made that announcement? He wasn't sure he did. She held his attention,
but it was more than that. He felt soothed when she was around, much as
Eddie must feel when surrounded by his loving family.

However, Kyle had also been reacting to the crowd's response. Zuzu might
not buy into that reason, either. As far as he could tell, she lived a
carefree life. She didn't have family that he knew of, and she made her
living doing odd jobs. No one seemed to expect much of her. If they
expected anything, it was the unexpected.

She could stand up in a restaurant and kiss any man—hell, she could
probably kiss a woman or a giant toad, for that matter—and people would
probably just watch with interest. No one would care.

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71

At this moment, Kyle would trade places with her.

"That kiss, which was your fault by the way, was just the beginning," he
said. "Then Dad clinked his glass. Didn't you see all the people turning
around to watch?"

"That kiss was not my fault," Zuzu said. "I reached up to offer a peck
for your father's sake. You 're the one who put your tong—"

"And then," Kyle interrupted in a half shout, "in case anyone was still
unaware of what was happening, Alex announced that you'd done more than
just peck me on the cheek."

"No. She said you 'd kissed me, not the other way around."

"Sorry, Dad," Alex said from behind Sydney.

Ignoring his daughter, Kyle said, "If I hadn't said what I did, the
crowd might have stood there clapping all night," he said. "I had no
choice but to lie."

"So it was a lie?" Zuzu asked, frowning.

Of course it was a lie.

Aw, hell. Did Zuzu think he'd meant to propose tonight, whether by
accident or design? He might be enchanted, but he wasn't ready to buy
another damn ring.

Eddie piped up. "Kiss your little woman again, son. You've made her
mad."

Kyle patted his father's arm. "No, Dad," he said firmly. Then he caught
a movement down the hallway and realized Jenny was coming out the
kitchen door.

"What happened?" Jenny asked, crowding in behind his daughters. "The
dining room was buzzing. Some of the staff said you'd announced your
engagement to Zuzu."

"That's right," he said, glancing at Zuzu. "Sort of."

Jenny smiled at Zuzu.

Kyle knew he needed to stop this now, before Jenny confused matters
further by welcoming Zuzu into the family.

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But he didn't want to hurt Zuzu's feelings any more than he already had.
If he had.

He might as well talk to Zuzu about his intentions now. Digging a hand
in his pants pocket, he removed his house keys and tossed them to
Chelsea. "Pass those back to Jenny."

Jenny took the keys and waited. She'd always known when to listen, which
made her the perfect person to work beside him in business, and the
perfect person to help him out of this muddle now. "I'll explain later,"
he said. "Right now I need a favor. Would you take Dad and the kids
home? I'd like to talk to Zuzu."

Jenny nodded.

"Thanks," he said, noting that he owed Jenny a favor.

Then, glancing at the girls, Kyle said, "I'll be home in a few minutes.
Get your showers out of the way and make sure you have tomorrow's
homework done."

Mercifully, perhaps miraculously, all three of his kids nodded and
remained quiet. They began to crunch in toward him and Zuzu, trying to
access the door beyond them.

To widen their path, Kyle grabbed Zuzu's hand and tugged her across the
hall to stand beside him. He let go of her hand immediately, but as the
gang filed past she stood near enough that her shoulder rubbed against
his every once in a while.

Those touches felt electric.

After the door closed behind his family, Kyle stepped away from Zuzu.
"Jenny has an office down the hall," he said. "We can talk in there."

In response, Zuzu simply unbuttoned her cloak and removed it, calling
attention once again to her curves. Here in the hallway, with the two of
them alone, she looked only sexy.

Jeez.

73


This little tete-a-tete—no, this entire ordeal—might prove to be a land
mine.

Kyle walked past Zuzu, leading the way down the hall. Opening a door, he
flipped on the light and stood back to let her pass into a roomy office.
"Have a seat," he said, waving toward a set of leather swivel chairs
that circled a long worktable.

Zuzu sat down, but Kyle remained standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry for
my part in the confusion tonight," he said, pausing to shake his head
slowly, as if he still couldn't believe what had happened. Then he
directed a narrowed gaze toward her. "Things really escalated after that
kiss. You should have listened to me in the first place."

Despite his apology, he seemed to be blaming her for everything that had
happened tonight. Not only for the kiss—which she'd only initiated to
please his father—but also for his surprise announcement.

Zuzu wouldn't take the blame for that. She might be known as a
peacemaker, but she'd had two dozen part-time siblings. She could give
as well as she got.

"My listening—or lack it—didn't cause our problem tonight," she said,
and shook her own head. "You lied to that entire crowd about the two of
us, and then you expected me to just head home and wait for your
explanation."

"I didn't want to talk in front of a crowd."

That excuse sounded lame. Zuzu suspected that he'd made his announcement
without giving much thought to her. And he'd definitely made a few
important decisions without consulting her. She glared at him.

"What would you have done?" he asked.

She didn't know.

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Her confusion must have shown, because Kyle relaxed against the door
frame and started explaining. "I grew up knowing I was being watched,
and I'm always aware of the impression I'm leaving. Tonight, I thought
the most graceful way out was to give them what they wanted, at least
temporarily. I didn't mean to suggest that we become truly engaged."

Zuzu studied Kyle. She was relieved that he was finally speaking
sincerely. Relieved, too, that he wasn't suggesting she'd somehow put
the idea in his head.

But she was also disappointed. Stupidly, crazily disappointed. Their
attraction was full of yin and yang energy, and her heart had raced at
his stunning announcement—even while her head had discounted it.

"Certainly not," she said now.

Kyle smiled. Or at least, it looked like a smile. The corners of his
eyes crinkled and the sides of his lips tipped up, but that smile was
about as fake as the plastic Christmas tree out in the foyer.

Zuzu had seen this smile before. Kyle used it when he was trying to
charm, but not feeling particularly charming. When he was truly amused,
he showed teeth. One of his front canines was slightly chipped, and Zuzu
grinned every time she saw it. A man like Kyle could afford caps, but he
hadn't gotten them.

In the past few weeks, Zuzu had noticed this basic truth about Kyle
Harper: despite his privilege, he'd remained genuine.

She liked that about him.

She didn't like knowing that tonight's circumstances had turned him into
some sort of drill sergeant—barking orders and expecting others to just
fall into line.

"I haven't had time to think about this," he said, "but I

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75

believe we're going to have to play along with this idea for a while."

"Play along with which idea?" Zuzu asked, frowning as Kyle stepped into
the room and pulled out the chair across from her. He sat down, pulled
off his coat and scowled at her as if thinking very hard.

"The engagement," he said. "We could go out to dinner in a family group,
much as we did tonight, and maybe we could also spend some time alone
together."

Zuzu noted the reddening of Kyle's cheeks before he continued, "I meant
in public. We could be alone together, in public. Eventually, interest
will die down. We can announce an amicable breakup and go on with our
lives."

"You want me to pose as your fiancee?"

"Yes."

It seemed a rather monumental favor to ask, yet he wasn't asking. He was
demanding.

She would have expected better of him. "Why should I?"

He squinted toward the ceiling, as if searching for thought, then he
said, "Harmony. This will make us even, right? Isn't that what you
wanted when you offered to act as the kids' nanny?"

She didn't like feeling that he was making this decision and ignoring
her wishes. She wasn't a child anymore, with no choice but to do what
the adults in her life decided was best for her. She was a grown woman,
and she wouldn't allow Kyle to dismiss her. She could think for herself.

"Well, yes, I did want to restore harmony," she said. "But how many
people would be hurt if they found out the truth? Your dad at least, and
maybe your kids. It sounds like very bad karma. Maybe we should just
drop it."

Kyle frowned. "Drop it?"

She smiled. "If we don't mention your little announce-

76


ment, people might decide you were drinking tonight." She paused, noted
his intense scowl, and then continued, "Or maybe they'll think we broke
up quickly. You can say you found out I was married or something."

He stared at her. "No. I don't think so. Marriage records would be too
easy to check out, and I certainly don't want to give my customers the
impression that I'm drinking too much and making rash declarations."

"It wouldn't be all your customers," Zuzu said. "Only the ones who were
here tonight. Only, what, forty people or so?"

He frowned. "Tiers seats eighty guests at full capacity. Tonight there
were only two empty tables."

"Mmm-hmm." Zuzu nodded absently.

"That means there were, say, seventy-two guests. Deduct the seven in our
party and that leaves sixty-five. Sixty-five people were here tonight
who weren't family. Sixty-five people think we're engaged."

"Sixty-five isn't so bad," she said helpfully. "They'll probably forget
about it in the Christmas madness."

Kyle seemed doubtful.

Zuzu ignored his reaction. "So we're all right, then," she said. "We'll
simply proceed as if tonight never happened."

She stood up to slip into her cloak again, but as she started on the
buttons she realized Kyle was still sitting. "Sit down, Zuzu," he said.

She plopped into the chair. Her idea had probably been too simple. Kyle
seemed to prefer complicating things. "What now?"

"Sixty-five people think we're engaged. The numbers will multiply if
even half of them talk to anyone else, and you have to remember that I'm
a local celebrity. Dad's always been popular, and the Harper money adds
interest."

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11

Zuzu had no doubt that that was the truth. She'd had her own experience
with publicity early on, and it had affected her entire life.

But she didn't want to just succumb to Kyle's wishes. A pretend
engagement to him would be dangerous on so many levels. If he didn't
recognize that, she did. "Okay. Then let's wait to see what happens
tomorrow," she said. "We can talk when you get home from work."

"That's what I wanted to do in the first place, but you followed me
out."

"You told me to."

He glared at her. "No, I..." He paused, then covered his nose and
sneezed. Afterward, he seemed calmer. "All right. We'll wait and see
what happens."

Zuzu stood up and buttoned the last few buttons on her cloak. When Kyle
offered to walk her to her car, she said she'd prefer to leave on her
own.

She knew she'd be better off if she finished the temporary nanny stint
and forgot about Kyle. She didn't need to feel an affection for a bossy
relationship-phobe even if he did have three delightful daughters.

Even if he fascinated her.

Because he fascinated her.

When he wasn't barking orders, Kyle was charming and dynamic. And sexy.
That was all the more reason for her to avoid any continued relationship
with him—pretend or otherwise.

She repeated those arguments to herself all the way home and
continuously through the restless night that followed—until six-fifteen
the next morning, when the phone rang.

Zuzu ignored it. She rolled onto her stomach and kept her eyes closed,
figuring it was a wrong number. After the

78


second ring, she flopped onto her back again, glaring at the phone.

A ringing phone was alarming late at night or early in the morning.
Didn't the caller know that the person at the other end would naturally
expect bad news? No one called at six-fifteen.

Grabbing an extra pillow from beside her, Zuzu covered her head, hoping
to drown out the noise. After the fourth ring, she let worry take over.

It could be Mary or another friend with bad news. It could even be her
father. The last she'd heard, he was living out in Vegas. Was it earlier
in Nevada right now, or later? After the 2:00 a.m. call she'd received
six years ago, the one that had brought news of her mother's death,
she'd learned to distrust phone calls made at odd hours.

Hopping out of bed, Zuzu stumbled across her apartment to grab the
phone. "Yes?"

"Good, you're up," Kyle said without preamble. "Did you see the paper?"

Thank heaven. It was just Kyle. "The paper?"

"The Kirkwood Courier. Do you get it?"

"No, but my landlady does," Zuzu said. "She lives upstairs, and
sometimes I borrow hers when she's finished."

"Go borrow it now."

Wow. It was awfully early to be barking commands over the phone.
Apparently, he didn't even turn off the boss act at night. "Kyle, it's
six-fifteen," Zuzu said. "My landlady's probably still asleep."

"Go look out on the driveway, then."

Zuzu glanced down at her attire. She was wearing the threadbare Tweety
Bird T-shirt she'd bought at a rummage sale, and a pair of hot-pink
bikini underwear. The temperature had been barely above freezing late
last night when

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79

she'd driven herself home, and this morning it wasn't likely to be any
higher.

She was not going out in the cold to get a paper that didn't belong to
her, and she was not going to let this man make decisions for her
anymore. "Can't you just tell me about what you want me to see?"

"Why?"

"If you must know, I'm not dressed."

His pause was charming.

Idly, Zuzu wondered what Kyle wore to bed. Pajamas? Boxers? Nothing?

Stifling a sigh, she dropped onto her sofa, resolving to stop thinking
about him that way right now.

"There's a picture on the front page of the local section," he said, his
voice a half octave deeper. "Of us."

Now Zuzu wished she had run out to grab the paper in her underwear.
"Really? Our picture's in the paper?"

"Yes, and we look...involved. Or you do. You're staring at me with
half-closed eyes and with your mouth sort of...puckered. As if you were
thinking about kissing me again."

"Oh, really? And how do you look?"

Again, a pause. Then he said, "Uh. Like I want to kiss you again, too, I
guess."

At least he'd admitted that much. Zuzu giggled.

Kyle sneezed three times.

"Bless you," Zuzu said. "Is there an article?"

Zuzu heard a rustling of paper, then Kyle read: '"Local restaurateur
Kyle Harper surprised his guests last night at Tiers Restaurant by
announcing his engagement to exotic beauty Zuzu Clark.'"

"Wow."

"Wow is right. I've already had a phone call from An-

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toine, the chef at Harper's Uptown in Kansas City. The photo went out on
the wire, so it's in the Star today. An-toine wanted to be first to
congratulate me. He said if I was as smart as I thought I was, the woman
in the picture would be beside me and we would both still be in bed."

Now Zuzu laughed.

"I don't think it's very funny."

Obviously. He seemed to have lost his sense of humor. Zuzu smiled,
thinking about it. The great, unflappable Kyle Harper had finally been..
.well, flapped. And by her!

"Will you stop snickering?"

"I don't know what else to do."

"The photograph changes things, doesn't it? That photographer must have
been an amateur. He didn't even have the decency to ask us to sign a
release."

"Oh."

Kyle was quiet for a minute, then he said, "You'd better meet me at my
office. Can you be here at nine?"

There was that bossy tone again. "No, I can't," she said emphatically.
"I go to yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays at eight-thirty."

"Yoga?"

"Yes. You should try it. It's very relaxing. It might help you stop
sneezing, and find your sense of humor about things."

He sighed, but let her comment pass. "What time is your class over?" he
asked.

'Ten."

"Come to my office at ten."

"I can't. I have to be at the shop by ten-thirty. Mary is taking the
morning off to go Christmas shopping."

He sighed again, louder. "Where's your yoga class? Is it near Crystals
'n Cures?"

"Yes. It's in the Community Building. Room 202."

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81

"Isn't there a coffee shop near there?"

"Uh, yeah. Downstairs in the next building."

"Okay. I'll meet you there at five past ten," he said. "We can grab a
coffee and talk."

"Tea."

"What?"

"Tea. I don't drink coffee."

'Tea, then. Whatever."

Zuzu said goodbye, hung up the phone and then grabbed the throw off the
back of the sofa to pull around her. After slipping into her scuffs, she
walked up the stairs and out to her landlady's driveway.

Good. The paper was still there. Zuzu picked it up and ignored her
freezing legs as she stood out on the driveway and located the front
page of the local section.

The picture was amazing. Kyle had described it well, but he'd missed a
few details. Zuzu did think she looked passionate, with her eyes half
closed and her mouth parted. She remembered how she'd felt at that
moment—slightly dazed and wondering what Kyle would do or say next. By
some stretch of the imagination a person might form the impression she
was moving in for a kiss.

But then, Kyle's expression was very similar to hers.

What Kyle hadn't mentioned was that his father was shown in the
foreground, grinning as though he'd won the lottery. And Kyle's
daughters were in the background, looking pleased.

How much content could be caught on a single exposure of camera film was
astonishing. This one told a whole, complicated story—only some of it
true. She owned up to her own wishful thinking. She wanted all of it to
be true. She'd had romantic thoughts about Kyle since the first day
she'd met him.

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She was awful about that sort of thing. As a young child, she'd never
stopped wishing that her mother would realize she was messing up more
than her own life with her addiction. Zuzu had wanted her mother to
sober up and keep the two of them together.

Then, later, whenever Zuzu felt comfortable with her foster family,
she'd wished they would fight for the right to adopt her. That they
would make her their little girl. She'd have been willing to give up the
mother dream for the chance to be a permanent part of a family.

And now she was wishing for a family again.

And for Kyle, who was not just a widower with kids, but also a
successful restaurateur whose beloved wife had been every bit as moneyed
and refined as he was.

She was doing it again.

Wishing for impossible things.

The Harpers had been through enough. Zuzu had never meant to harm them
in any way. After refolding the paper carefully, she placed it on the
porch close to her landlady's door. Then she hurried down the steps to
her apartment.

As she slipped out of her clothes, showered and pulled on her yoga suit,
she acknowledged her own mistake. She'd spent her life avoiding anything
she could possibly get addicted to, but she'd allowed Kyle's kisses to
slip past her defenses. She's also grown attached to his kids, his dad
and his world. And she knew better.

Kyle, dear man, was probably sitting somewhere in his house, worrying
about how he would handle a short-term, pretend engagement to her. His
worry was unnecessary. She knew how to solve his publicity problem, as
well as her emotional one. After the third time she'd been pulled from a
home in childhood, she'd gotten good at recognizing the signs. Her
foster parents would start arguing, a

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83

more troubled kid would be brought in or her mother would sober up and
start fighting for her parental rights again.

Zuzu would pack her suitcase. She'd learned to be ready long before the
ehild-welfare worker arrived.

This wasn't much different from any of those times.

It was time to leave.

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Kyle pulled an edge off his apple fritter and crunched into it, noting
the pastry's sweet, tart perfection before pushing it away. He wasn't
hungry and he'd only ordered the food to be polite, but he never knew
when a talented local cook's name might show up on a resume. Habitually
he checked out his competitions' food offerings for just this reason.

Making a mental note to compliment the baker before he left, Kyle then
nodded to a blue-eyed blonde smiling at him from two tables away. Then
he glanced at the doorway again.

He'd arrived promptly at ten, wishing to be prepared for this meeting
with Zuzu, but she was apparently running late. Kyle hoped she'd arrive
soon. There was a lot to talk about, and twenty minutes hardly seemed
adequate.

They would go ahead with the fake engagement, of course. The newspaper
photograph had made that necessary. They would also need to set up some
ground rules. He'd thought it through this morning, and he had some good
ideas about how things would work.

Taking another bite of pastry, Kyle pulled his newspaper around so it
was right side up, and studied his and Zuzu's picture for the umpteenth
time.

There was no way around it; they looked involved. They

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85

would have to get more involved, but in a controlled manner and only for
long enough to satisfy the public. Then he'd find some way to compensate
Zuzu for her trouble and they'd both go on with their lives.

The coffee-shop door opened, and Zuzu walked in. Even in a purple
leotard, gray sweatpants and white sneakers, she stood out like a
peacock among ducks. On a day when everyone was bundled in coats, hats
and gloves, Zuzu was exposing far too much skin. With her hair in a high
pony-tail, her neck was bare. So were her arms and face, and she wore a
pink glow from the frigid outdoor air. She must have come straight from
her class.

Kyle had chosen a secluded corner table so they could talk privately,
and he didn't think she'd seen him. He stood up and called out to her.

The shop clerk's enthusiastic greeting drowned out his softer one.
"Zuzu!" the young Adonis said, beaming at her as she scooted toward the
counter to hug him. "Lady, it's been a while. How are you?" he said.

Kyle sat down and waited, noting that several other customers were
watching the friendly exchange between Zuzu and the very handsome, very
young man. Kyle might think the guy was Zuzu's boyfriend, except that
when she asked about his love life, the clerk raved about how great
things were going between him and some woman named Sandra.

That was when Kyle found himself smiling, too. His relief was a
surprise. He hadn't been jealous since his early days with Beth, way
back in high school. After their marriage, jealousy hadn't been an issue
very often. Everyone had recognized that they were a pair.

But today, with Zuzu, he'd felt a definite twinge. One he had no right
to feel.

Obviously, Zuzu was a regular here at the coffee shop.

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She accepted a tall cup from the clerk, greeted several other people who
called out a hello, and within seconds had turned to approach Kyle's
table. She must have known he was there all along.

"Sorry I'm late," she said in that smoky voice as she sat down across
from him. "My class ran long, but I came straight over afterward."

"No problem." Kyle sipped his coffee as he watched her pull a bright
floral jacket over her leotard. When she seemed to have settled in, he
nudged his apple fritter toward her. "This is excellent. Have some."

"No, thanks." Zuzu didn't even look at the plate of food. She blinked at
him, as if she had something important to say but wasn't sure where to
start. She glanced down at his suit. "Did you go to your office this
morning?"

"No, I didn't," Kyle said. "I'm headed there next."

"Mmm." She nodded, her eyes serious.

Although their time was limited and Kyle knew they should get down to
business, he wanted to chat for a moment. After all, he and Zuzu would
have to become a little better acquainted. "Mom called last night," he
said. "She said Dad wouldn't stop talking about my new little woman."

Zuzu looked shocked. "Oh. Wow. Sorry. Will your mom be able to set him
right?"

Kyle frowned, unsure of her meaning. His parents would believe they were
engaged, like everyone else. "Uh. Sure. Eventually," he said. "Anyway,
thanks for meeting me. We have a lot to talk about."

He picked up his coffee cup, but before he could take a sip, Zuzu
shifted in her seat. Her expression was so odd that he hesitated with
his cup in midair.

"I'm moving," she said abruptly.

"What do you mean, you're moving?"

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87

"I meant just what I said."

Kyle set his cup down. "Do you mean you're moving to a new neighborhood
or a new apartment?" he asked.

"No, I'm moving to Boulder, or maybe Fort Worth."

"Why?"

"Wouldn't it solve your problem?" She glanced at the folded newspaper
he'd left at the edge of the table. "I have no reason to stay and your
life is here."

Kyle picked up his coffee cup again. "How would your moving solve my
problem?"

She shrugged. "I'd be gone."

Again, he put the cup down without drinking. "Right. It would look like
one of us rejected the other soon after we announced our engagement. If
I blamed you, I'd seem brash. If I took the blame, I'd appear to be
pathetic. And I'd still be here, dealing with the questions."

After gazing at some spot on the coffee-shop ceiling for a moment, Zuzu
blew out a deep breath and said, "You could make up some important
reason for why I'd had to leave."

"Like what? That you'd run off to join the circus?" Kyle smiled
teasingly.

"No, but something like that," she said. "Maybe you could say that I'd
decided to travel to Africa, or that I'd found out my mom was dying."

Kyle frowned. "And I let my brand-new love go away forever to deal with
her dying mother on her own?"

"Sure."

"I wouldn't do that."

"Oh."

"Would you lie about your mother's death?" he asked.

"She's already dead, so it doesn't matter."

"Sorry." He gazed at her, thinking. "Don't you like Kirkwood?"

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Table for Five

"Sure I do."

That was enough for Kyle. He recognized that Zuzu had offered to move
only because of this situation, and not because she wanted to move. "Dad
and Mom renewed their wedding vows at Tiers ten years ago at its grand
opening," he said.

Zuzu's wide, normally smooth forehead wrinkled with confusion. "That's
nice."

"Uh-huh. I took Beth there for our anniversaries, too. The print ads
claim that Tiers is the most magically romantic restaurant in
northeastern Kansas. People go there for their proms, marriage proposals
and wedding-rehearsal dinners."

"I can see why they would."

"Part of the reason is that our family bought into the idea, too. How do
you think our faithful customers would react if they found out I broke
up with the woman I was kissing there?"

"It happens."

"Not to me. You can't be a Harper and get sick, married or even kissed
in an interesting way. Not without later reading speculations and
projections about it. And I'm known as a family man. A responsible man.
People say I'm deliberate in thought and action," he said. "I'd only
announce my engagement if I meant it."

"Oh, really?" Now she was the one smiling.

"You know what I mean. Did I tell you what the kids did last night when
I got home?"

"No."

"They met me at the door and hugged me. Sydney hasn't done that since
before Beth died."

The coffee-shop clerk arrived at their table to refill their cups, so
Kyle asked him to take away the apple fritter.

When they were alone again, Zuzu leaned forward.

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89

"Your kids think we're actually engaged?" she asked, frowning. "Didn't
you tell them the truth?"

"This situation will work best if you and I keep it between ourselves,"
he said. "The girls must have assumed we fell in love at first sight.
They assumed we were having a lovers' spat last night in the hallway."

"That's incredible," Zuzu said. "Just when you think today's kids are
too grown-up, they do or say something completely naive."

Kyle had thought the same thing last night. After the kids had gone to
bed, he'd spent a lot of time recalling his days with Beth.

They'd been so young when they'd fallen in love. Experiencing those
sweet, tender emotions again now seemed almost as impossible to imagine
as his running a marathon. He might have done it in his youth, but
marriage and kids had changed him. He was almost certain he couldn't
muster the energy for something so all-consuming.

But with Zuzu, infatuation at first sight was close enough to the truth.
Her looks had fascinated him long before he met her. And then he'd been
intrigued by her personality. Gazing at her now as she sipped her tea,
he wondered about her first impression of him.

His cell phone rang. "Sorry, I have to get this," he said, and pulled
the device from his pocket. "It could be work. I don't usually take a
morning off."

It was his mom. She said that she'd just read the newspaper article and
had tried to call his office. Kyle started to make up an excuse about
running late this morning, but his mother said she knew he was with Zuzu
because his assistant had said so.

Thanks, Valerie.

Kyle listened to his mother chastise him for not telling

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her about the engagement before the press picked up the story. After
he'd apologized, she sounded as excited as his father had been. His
family was so ready to believe he was in love again. Kyle hoped he
didn't have to give them bad news very soon.

Zuzu hadn't actually agreed yet.

His mother was insisting on speaking to Zuzu. Covering the receiver,
Kyle whispered, "My mother wants to speak to—" he rolled his eyes "—her
future daughter-in-law. Do you mind?"

Zuzu gaped at him, but at least she took the phone.

Kyle drank his coffee, pretending a lack of concern even while he
listened intently.

"Yes, Zuzu Clark here," she said coolly. Then her voice warmed by
degrees. "Oh, thank you, Mrs. Harper. I'm glad Mr. Harper is
better...Eddie, then. Okay, and Victoria...I'm looking forward to
meeting you, too." Finally, after a giggle, she said, "All right.
Goodbye."

She pushed the Off button and handed the phone back to Kyle. "Your mom
doesn't know the engagement is fake, either," she said accusingly.

Kyle shrugged.

"Why aren't you telling people?"

"I don't want my children to lie for me, and Mom has enough to worry
about without having to put on some act for the public," he said. 'This
way, you and I are in control. If the truth comes out, it will be
because we planned it that way."

"And you really think this will make your life easier?" she asked.

"For now it will."

"Okay," she said, her unwillingness so apparent he might as well have
requested that she cut out her heart and

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hand it to him. "But don't make any more decisions without talking to me
first. And except for afternoons with your daughters, don't expect me to
become too involved."

He nodded.

"Don't expect me to change, either."

He glanced at Zuzu's pink-streaked hair. At least today's messy ponytail
was more conventional then dreadlocks. "Of course not."

"How long do you think we'll have to pretend?"

Zuzu's reluctance wasn't exactly flattering. "I don't know. Maybe two,
three months," he said. "Until we become old news, I guess."

"Until February, then?"

"Probably. And we can lie low for a little while, at least until we grow
accustomed to the idea."

Zuzu got up and waved to the clerk, who rushed over to take her cup and
hug her. Again, Kyle wished he were in the other's guy's shoes. She
didn't seem so reluctant with Adonis. Suddenly, Zuzu surprised him by
granting his unspoken wish. She turned back to him, threw her arms
around his neck and whispered, "Here goes."

Backing up, she placed a loud smacking kiss right on his lips. "See you
after work, sweetie pie!" she said. Then, ignoring his grimace at the
syrupy endearment, she hurried out of the shop and up Nickel Street.

"Zuzu, there's someone out here for you," Mary called from the front of
the shop.

After setting a small, bronze Buddha statue on the floor near her feet,
Zuzu hurried out of the storeroom for the third time in an hour. Mary
had asked her to unpack Christmas merchandise this afternoon, but she
also expected her to wait on customers. It wasn't like Mary to avoid
work,

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but with Christmas just over a week away, perhaps she was feeling the
usual holiday stresses.

Rounding the corner, Zuzu smiled brightly, hoping to see a favorite
customer needing gift-giving advice. But she didn't recognize the woman
at the counter.

Perhaps in her sixties, the woman wore a long camel-colored coat and
black leather gloves, which she removed to set on the counter. Her dark
blond hair was styled perfectly, and her silver earrings looked
expensive. Her entire demeanor hinted at afternoon bridge meetings and
weekend jaunts to art gallery showings.

She certainly wasn't a typical Crystals 'n Cures customer. But then,
trouble often brought first-timers in, hunting for unusual remedies.
"Hello. How can I help you?" Zuzu asked.

"There you are, darling," the woman said. "You are much lovelier than
your picture. Your skin is divine." Bringing her hands up, the woman
cupped Zuzu's face and smiled at her, gazing into her eyes.

In the past five days, Zuzu had grown accustomed to strangers mentioning
the newspaper photograph or congratulating her on her engagement, but
this woman was acting too friendly. And she sounded familiar.

Zuzu decided that maybe she knew this woman, but she couldn't remember
how. She glanced across at Mary, who beamed and disappeared into the
back room.

"Urn, I don't..."

"Oh! I'm sorry, dear," the woman said, dropping her hands. "I thought
you knew. I'm Victoria, Kyle's mother."

Right! She remembered that precise manner of speech from their phone
conversation, and now Zuzu recognized a few more traits she knew quite
well—the slightly cleft chin, the full lips, the striking eyes.

Zuzu feigned composure as she rounded the counter to

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93

hug the older woman. "Of course you are," she said, stepping forward. "I
should have recognized you. Your eyes are a lot like Kyle's."

"Well, thank you for noticing," Victoria said. "Most people just see the
Harper in him, but I like to think he got something from me."

They smiled at each other for a moment, and Zuzu decided it must often
feel like this when new, potential in-laws meet—a sort of a gentle
sizing up as both the lover and the parent imagine the years ahead.

Except in this case, the feeling couldn't be real. She had to remember
that. "What brings you in?" she asked.

"Kyle seems to be keeping you to himself and I couldn't wait to meet you
in person. This morning, Eddie's gone to a game day for dementia
patients at the local seniors center, so I decided to come meet you in
person."

"I'm sure Kyle's not hiding me on purpose," Zuzu said, trying to think
of an excuse that wouldn't offend Kyle's mother. Finally, she decided
the truth would work. "We see each other when he gets home every day,
but we haven't been out since we announced our engagement."

''Are you staying there, then?" Victoria asked.

"Staying there...?" Zuzu said, confused, and then she realized Kyle's
mother wanted to know if her son was living with his fiancee. "Oh, you
mean at Kyle's house. No, I'm not."

Victoria's intent expression seemed to urge for more information.

She and Kyle really needed to talk and get their story straight. This
conversation was extremely uncomfortable.

"I take the kids home from school every day, and I see Kyle when he gets
home from work," Zuzu said. "But I have my own apartment."

"I see," Victoria said. "Well, it doesn't matter. You

94


must be every bit as amazing as you appear, Zuzu. I thought my son would
never warm up to another woman after Beth."

Zuzu couldn't think of a thing to say. The truth was, she hadn't talked
to Kyle much this week. It was as if the fake engagement had made any
friendliness between them disappear. The only time they'd talked was on
the day that Alex had failed a math quiz, and then only long enough to
trade information.

"Are you wearing your ring?" Victoria asked now.

Zuzu had chosen a costume ring from her own jewelry collection, and
she'd slipped it on her left hand to satisfy curious friends and
acquaintances. She was reluctant to show it to Kyle's mother, though.
Victoria might think her son hadn't done well enough by his intended
bride.

She held her hand out anyway. 'This ring suits me," she said, studying
it. The oval turquoise centered on an intricately detailed silver band
was her favorite, but now she was doubting her own taste.

"It's very pretty," Victoria said, smiling. "I'm glad my son chose
something that you like. Kyle can be thoughtful when he wants to be."

Zuzu murmured a noncommittal "Hmm."

"Well, then," Victoria said, slipping on her gloves. "I'll see you this
Sunday at Eddie's cabin."

"Cabin?"

"Kyle didn't tell you?"

Zuzu shrugged, hoping to prompt details.

"He must have forgotten," Victoria said. "On the Sunday before
Christmas, we spend the afternoon at Eddie's Willow Lake fishing cabin.
We do some hiking, open Christmas gifts and have an early dinner—usually
just a bunch of appetizers and some punch or champagne. We

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95

started the tradition years ago so we wouldn't conflict with the rest of
the holiday festivities—Kyle can get really busy."

"Ah, well, I'm not sure I'll go this year."

"Oh, but you must go, unless you have to work or something."

"I'll cover for you," Mary said from the back room, taking the only
excuse Zuzu could think of—or would have been able to think of if she'd
had time.

"It's settled," Victoria said. "Eddie will be so pleased. He's been more
like his old self this week." The elegant woman blinked a few times and
then chuckled. "He even called me 'Tory' this morning. That was his pet
name for me, but I thought he'd forgotten it."

How could Zuzu refuse after that confession?

She managed to smile through her acceptance, then walked Kyle's mother
out of the shop. Ten minutes later, she strode past Kyle's assistant at
Harper Enterprises, offering a rapid-fire
"Hello-I-need-to-talk-to-him-is-he-in-there?" query before she barged
into Kyle's office.

He excused himself from a phone conversation. "Zuzu, what's wrong?" he
asked, frowning as he put down the receiver.

Zuzu crashed down into one of his client chairs. "Your mother came to
visit me."

"Uh-huh?"

"She invited me to your dad's cabin on Sunday."

"Lord, is it that time already?" he said, glancing with a start at his
desk calendar. Then he shook his head. "Sorry, I should've warned you."

He most certainly should have. He was awfully calm, considering. Didn't
he realize?

This meant Zuzu would have to spend Sunday afternoon pretending she fit
into a family celebration she'd love to

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fit into—but didn't. Zuzu scowled. "Yes, you certainly should have
warned me."

"Why? What did you tell her?"

"I was in a spot. What could I tell her?"

Kyle kept looking at her.

"I said I'd go."

That admission managed to put him in a state. He frowned at her, then
started to say something and sneezed, instead. Twice. Finally, he said,
"Uh. Don't worry about it. We usually just gather in the cabin's main
room to talk and eat. Sometimes we play dominoes. It's no big deal. We
won't have to be alone together at all."

She wasn't worried about being alone with Kyle; she was worried about
being in an enclosed space with his family for an entire afternoon.

Pretending romance while they were dining out in public would be
possible whether Kyle's family was present or not. But spending the
afternoon in an enclosed space with his mother and pretending that she,
Zuzu, and Kyle had fallen crazy in love—crazy enough to be engaged
within a month's time, for heaven's sake—seemed impossible.

Especially since she had a serious case of the hots for the guy. She
felt like some sort of a double agent.

She stared at Kyle. "I think it is a big deal. I'm not sure I can ad-lib
a relationship in front of your mom."

"Don't worry, I'll be with you," Kyle said soothingly. "If you're in
doubt about how to respond to something, just say you want me to tell
the story. Married couples do that all the time."

"You're sure you can handle that?" she asked.

"I can handle it," he assured her.

Zuzu let Kyle return to his work, and walked across Nickel Street to
finish her shift at Crystals 'n Cures. She also

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97

took the time to shop for Kyle's family, telling herself repeatedly that
he was accustomed to being in charge, and that he knew his family well
and would manage the situation.

But the fact that she was choosing a gift for his mother—whom she'd met
once for about ten minutes—made her realize that Kyle couldn't have
thought of everything.

Saturday, she spent the day wrapping the gifts and preparing a batch of
moon cakes to take along. She'd learned to make this Chinese appetizer
when she'd lived with the Tans. The treats involved a complicated
process of preparing the sweet azuki-bean filling and folding the outer
pastry repeatedly to create a flaky crust. Usually, Zuzu was calmed by
the task.

This time, it didn't work. And Sunday came all too soon. Kyle called at
eleven to remind her to wear boots and a heavy coat in case they all
decided to hike on the lake trails, and by the time he'd arrived to pick
her up an hour later, she'd changed her clothes twice and talked herself
out of canceling just as often.

When she opened her apartment door, Kyle stood there looking confident
and sexy in a green winter jacket and blue jeans. She'd never seen him
in casual clothes, and he wore them well. Especially the jeans. He
smelled great, too, as if he'd recently jumped out of the shower and
slapped on a wonderfully fresh-scented aftershave lotion. She had a
sudden urge to crawl inside his jacket with him.

He told her that the kids had left earlier with his parents. His mother
had a larger car than he did, and Chelsea wanted to bring Bonnie along
to the cabin. Kyle had also thought the engagement story would appear
more convincing if he and Zuzu traveled to the cabin alone.

Zuzu was already wearing her cloak, so she allowed Kyle to take her bag
of gifts, then followed him out to his

98


car. Snow had begun to fall this morning, and by now it was beginning to
cover the trees and ground. Zuzu stamped the snow off her boots and slid
into the passenger seat while Kyle loaded her bag in the trunk and came
around.

He tucked his long legs beneath the steering column and unzipped his
jacket. His face glowed from the cold, yet his eyes and body radiated
warmth and energy. He was in stark contrast to the crystal-white beauty
of the day—yet every bit as stunning.

As he started the car and drove down the street, Zuzu realized that this
was the first time she'd been in a car with him. It was also the first
time they'd been truly alone together in a place where a teenager, a
customer or a co-worker couldn't barge in to interrupt.

All of a sudden, Kyle's front seat seemed far too intimate. Hoping to
reduce her awareness of him, Zuzu stared out the window, watching the
big snowflakes in silence.

After a while, Kyle said, "I hope you don't mind. I put both our names
on the tags for the gifts I brought. I didn't want you to feel left
out."

So he had thought about her dilemma. Too bad he hadn't told her about
his plans. "I brought gifts for them, too," Zuzu said, looking across at
him.

His smile was wide enough to add those sexy crinkles to the corners of
his eyes. "That was nice, but it wasn't necessary," he said. "You're
doing me a favor just by coming out to the cabin today."

"Don't worry, I didn't buy anything extravagant," she said. "But maybe
we'd better get our stories straight now."

"About the gifts?"

"No. About us. What will your mother want to know?"

"She already asked me whether we had set a wedding date yet," Kyle said.
"I mentioned something about Valen-

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99

tine's Day, but said that we'd prefer to have a private, civil ceremony
and tell everyone afterward. Is that all right?"

If Zuzu ever did marry, which she probably wouldn't, she'd avoid a
church wedding. Her dad wouldn't be walking her down any aisles, and she
didn't have enough real family to fill a single pew. Also, she and Kyle
had decided to break up around the beginning of February, so his answer
was fine in that way, too. "Sure. What else?"

He frowned out at the street. "The usual mother-in-law questions, I
suppose—where and when we met, what it was that made us fall in love
with each other arid whether or not we plan to have babies."

She directed a wide-eyed glance his way. "Wow."

He chuckled. "It'll be all right if we keep our answers close to the
truth," he said. "We'll simply say that we met when I went into your
shop and told you about my nanny problem."

"That sounds good."

He looked across at her, then back to the road. "Soon afterward, you
started helping me with the kids and that's when we got to know each
other."

"Uh-huh."

"I'll tell her that I was attracted to your looks at first, but that
soon I realized how much I admired you as a person." Kyle paused as he
maneuvered the car through a busy intersection. "I'll probably mention
traits like your idealism and your sensitivity—you know, the usual
things a man notices when he's falling in love."

Men noticed a woman's idealism?

Yeah, right. Zuzu's stubborn hopefulness had caused her more harm than
good in her previous relationships. She'd thought herself in love three
times, and three times the breakups had been torturous. She'd never seen
the punch coming until it had sunk into her gut, and then she'd been

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more devastated than necessary because she'd been so shocked.

However, Zuzu suspected that the qualities Kyle had mentioned were ones
that he himself admired, and she was astounded to discover herself
grinning.

"And I'll say that I liked your eyes, and that I loved the way you
surprised me," she said quietly, returning his unintended compliment
with one of her own.

He shot her a questioning glance.

"You were more open-minded than I expected."

"Ah," he said, smiling slightly but then sobering again immediately.
"And then we fell in love."

Zuzu frowned out her window again. "We didn't tell anyone at first
because we weren't sure of things. You were naturally cautious, and I
didn't want to push."

He took over. "But on the afternoon of the Tiers dinner, we both just
knew. I asked you to marry me in my study, and we decided to announce it
that night."

Before she could respond, Kyle switched on the windshield wipers and
scowled at the line of slow-moving cars in front of him. The roads were
packing with snow and required Kyle's attention. Zuzu listened to the
rhythmic sound of the wipers for a while. When they finally turned onto
a recently sanded highway that would take them north to the lake, she
asked, "Do you think people really fall in love that fast?"

"I don't know," Kyle said. "I met Beth during our junior year of high
school, and the relationship matured into love over time. We married
during the summer after graduation."

"You must miss her."

"Uh-huh."

After that response, Zuzu figured they'd finish the drive in silence.
But a moment later, Kyle asked, "Have you ever been in love?"

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"I've been infatuated a few times," Zuzu said, chuckling as she thought
of her favorite ex-boyfriend, Jack Kimball, who was now a very good
friend. "My last boyfriend is married now, with toddler twins and a new
baby girl."

"Ouch."

"No, it's fine," Zuzu said. "I like his wife, and their kids think of me
as a favorite aunt," she said. "I realized later that I liked Jack a
lot, but the feeling didn't go too deep on either side."

"And what about the baby question," Kyle said. "Do you want kids?"

Zuzu frowned, considering. She'd never been able to picture herself
married, so she'd never been able to picture herself with kids. But
watching Kyle with his daughters had made her hopeful again. She wanted
a version of what Jack had with Abby and of what Kyle had had with Beth.
She'd seldom seen that level of commitment from the adults in her life,
though. Her mother had set a terrible example during her short, sad
life, and Zuzu had met her father only twice.

Once, at a time when she was living with her mother again, he'd shown up
on the doorstep with a gift for her—a skateboard. Having just recently
turned four, she'd been too young to ride it. But she'd been thrilled.
She remembered sitting on her father's lap and feeling pleased when he'd
admired her pretty eyes. He'd been large around the belly, and his
breath had had that same sour smell her mother's did when she was
drinking. Even at that tender age, Zuzu had known that her father
wouldn't stay. Still, she'd been thankful for the visit.

She hadn't seen him again until her mother's funeral. This time, they'd
talked for less than ten minutes. She'd been old enough by then to
realize that he wasn't interested in being her father, and she'd let him
go easily.

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Although she'd forgiven her parents for their failings, Zuzu had vowed
that she'd never bring a child into the world unless she met a man who
would cherish it as much as she would.

"I don't know," she said truthfully now. "If everything else was right,
I'd like to have a child in my life. But I'm not sure whether I'd have a
baby or adopt an older child."

"No ticking biological clock?" he asked.

She chuckled. "When Abby—that's Jack's wife—was pregnant, I suppose I
felt a tick or two. I'd only have a baby if I was in a committed
relationship, though."

Kyle became quiet again, so Zuzu went back to watching out the window.
The drive had relaxed her. That she and Kyle had warmed up to each other
again helped. She would at least have an ally today.

And then Kyle drove into a long driveway and Zuzu saw the cabin. The
small wooden structure was exactly the sort of place she'd pictured.
With smoke curling up from the chimney and twinkling gold lights
outlining the tall tree inside, the cabin was storybook pretty.

Chelsea added to the ambience by coming out the front door and running
into the yard, waving a blue-mittened hand in a wide and welcoming arc
as Bonnie trotted out behind her.

Kyle parked and pulled his car keys from the ignition. "This is it," he
said softly. When he looked at her, Zuzu noted the renewed panic in his
expression before he sneezed.

"Bless you."

"Thanks."

"Well, here we go," she said, offering a reassuring smile. Suddenly, she
felt that she could fit into such a lovely picture. At least for a day.

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Kyle noted the arm that Zuzu had wrapped around his daughter's waist as
they headed inside, and knew he should be congratulating himself. He'd
convinced Zuzu that today was nothing to worry about, and that had been
his intention.

When he'd arrived at her apartment a while ago, her forehead had been
puckered with worry. He suspected that she'd probably worn that same
expression on her face since Friday, when she'd barged into his office
about as panicked as a shotgun groom on the morning of his wedding.

While that pensive look was actually quite pretty on Zuzu's
fine-featured face, he wanted her to relax and enjoy the day. So he'd
talked to her, trying to calm her fears.

She was eager to get inside to greet his family, so Kyle figured his
efforts must have paid off. Too bad he couldn't convince himself. He
might be a successful restaurant owner, predicting and putting out
metaphorical kitchen fires on a regular basis, but spending the day with
Zuzu under the scrutiny of his family seemed risky. He'd have to keep a
tight control over what was said and done today, or the whole
pretend-engagement story could blow up in his face.

As he rounded the car toward the trunk, Kyle felt

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snowflakes fall, wet and stinging, against his face. These were the
biggest flakes he'd ever seen, and they were coming down thicker by the
minute. Bright, snow-filled clouds blanketed the vast Kansas sky for as
far as he could see.

He scowled, wondering if he could find a snow shovel somewhere in the
cabin's storage room. His mother kept the main living areas in order,
but the storage room contained a massive jumble of rusted tools and
tangled fishing gear. The family was reluctant to touch the mess because
it meant so much to Eddie. Eventually, they'd probably cart most of it
to the dump, but for now it was fine where it was. The fishing cabin had
been Eddie's retreat, and the family still gathered here because it made
him happy.

This fake engagement was the latest in a long list of things Kyle did to
make the old man happy. He'd also had the diner decorated last year,
restoring the jukebox and recovering the booths in their original aqua
blue. He took Eddie fishing when he could, and he'd planted and tended
his dad's plot of tomatoes every summer. That his father's demeanor had
changed from that of a savvy adult to that of an innocent child didn't
matter. He was the same man who had brought Kyle into the world, and the
same man who had helped make that world great. His happiness was well
worth even this amount of trouble.

Now, if Kyle could just remember that today as he told a few whopping
tales about himself and Zuzu, he'd be doing well.

After opening the trunk, he removed Zuzu's big shopping bag and carried
it to the house. As soon as he'd stepped inside, his daughters formed a
circle around him and Zuzu. They were all talking at once, and they
sounded excited.

Following a chorus of Dad! Dad! Zuzu and Dad, Syd-

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105

ney's slightly lower voice won out. "Did you hear about the snow?" she
asked.

Jeez. He'd just driven three miles in it, and now he was stomping it off
his boots. What else did he need to know? "No, what about it?" he asked.

"They changed the forecast," Sydney said, smiling in that funny way she
did when she was really happy about something but wasn't sure she was
supposed to show it. After all, she was a cool fourteen. "Instead of two
to four inches, they're saying we could get twelve by nightfall!"

"No kidding." It'd be hard to shovel that amount of snow off the
driveway, and the roads would be questionable. Kyle glanced at Zuzu,
wondering if she'd picked up on the idea that they could get snowed in
here tonight.

She was busy slipping out of her cloak and stomping snow off her boots,
and apparently didn't notice anything. Good. No need to worry her about
something like that now.

If it happened, he'd deal with it.

Smiling to feign a lack of concern, he handed her the shopping bag.

"They said to stay tuned all day to find out about school closings,"
Alex piped up. "Like, we could have a snow day tomorrow!"

That was just what he needed, Kyle thought as he took Zuzu's and
Chelsea's coats and hung them in the closet. Like most other parents, he
used school as a full-time nanny. With the teachers to occupy his kids
during the day and Zuzu to close the gap between school and his quitting
time at work, he managed. If the kids were off tomorrow, he'd have to
evaluate the potential destruction of his house, or he'd have to stay
home from work.

He didn't want to stay home from work, and he didn't want to get snowed
in here with Zuzu of the soft, soft skin.

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Or did he?

"Snow day! Snow day! Snow day!" Alex and Chelsea's chant broke into
Kyle's thoughts. He watched as they marched into the living room and
circled the furniture a couple of times while Sydney followed in a
cooler stride.

"Snow day!" his father repeated from his position on the sofa, and with
the same excited tone. Bonnie had found an out-of-the-way spot near the
hearth, and probably wouldn't move for a long while. Smart dog.

"Okay, girls, Dad. That's enough," Kyle said. "Mother Nature has surely
heard your request. Why don't you go back to whatever you were doing
before Zuzu and I arrived."

The girls trooped into the kitchen, the younger two still whispering
their chant. Kyle shut the closet door, then turned to smile at his
parents.

His mother hadn't met them at the door because she was sitting on the
sofa next to his father, keeping him company while he watched a John
Wayne movie. She'd never liked Westerns—in fact, she wasn't much of a TV
fan at all, but Eddie didn't remember that and those old movies were one
of the few things that still held his attention.

Kyle greeted his mother, then peered at his father and said loudly,
"Dad, look who I brought."

"The little woman! You brought her here," Eddie responded with a sweet
incredulity. He jumped up from the sofa and rounded it with the same
level of enthusiasm that his granddaughters had displayed a moment
earlier.

Zuzu hugged him, and when she released him he was smiling like a
six-year-old on Christmas morning.

"Well, come on in here," his mother said, motioning for Eddie to return
to the sofa and for Kyle and Zuzu to join them in the cabin's living
room. "Were the roads getting bad yet?" she asked a moment later.

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107

Kyle glanced at Zuzu, whose forehead was wrinkling again.

"They were fine," he said emphatically as he took Zuzu's hand and led
her to the love seat. "The sand crews and road graters are doing an
outstanding job." He sat, tugging Zuzu down next to him.

His mother grinned at Zuzu. "Well, just in case, did you bring some
extra duds?"

Darn the woman.

"Extra duds?" Zuzu asked.

"In case we can't get out of here tonight. These lake roads are hilly,
and sometimes the crews neglect them to keep the emergency routes
clear."

"I'm sure we have no reason for concern," Kyle insisted. "I saw a lot of
trucks out there."

His mother stared at him. "Well, maybe. But I doubt if they can keep up
with a foot of snow in a day's time. As I was saying, sometimes they
neglect these winding lake roads to do the highways first."

Thanks, Mom.

"But I didn't bring extra clothes," Zuzu said.

"I like that sweater," Kyle's mother said. "Did you get it in Kirkwood?"

His mother and Zuzu started talking about shopping, of all things, and
Kyle let his thoughts wander. He'd just noticed that Zuzu had worn
conservative clothes today, for his family. Yet she appeared as magical
as always. Her black sweater looked good with her hair.

She usually wore her hair in braids or piled on top of her head or
beneath some crazy hat. Kyle's mind flashed an image of Zuzu's hair
flowing down her back. Her hair was so long and her body so petite.
She'd be so sexy.

If snow kept dropping from the sky at such a rapid rate,

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he might have an opportunity to see her that way later. In his mind's
eye, her hair flowed down a set of naked and well-toned shoulders to the
point where her bare waist curved inward. It covered her private places
and invited games of discovery.

She'd be wearing clothes tonight, though. Snow or no snow, he couldn't
see Zuzu quite that way tonight, or ever. But the thought had him
wishing. Before he took up his daughters' chant, he remembered.

He didn't need to complicate his life. He had enough to manage with the
kids, his dad and his job.

He'd already been in love, and he'd already been married. He'd finished
that part of his life successfully. Expecting more would surely be
tempting fate. If he decided to have sex again, that was exactly what
he'd do—have sex.

Nothing more.

He'd had offers. One of Beth's so-called friends had phoned him two
weeks after the funeral, offering consolation and breakfast the next
morning. He'd refused politely but emphatically.

A few others had followed with more tactful timing, but he'd been
completely uninterested. Until now.

Zuzu had caught his eye at the right time in his life. But her life must
have been tough enough without his using her to satisfy a hunger that
had no doubt been brought on by three celibate years. If he was going to
thaw out of his deep freeze now, he needed to find someone a little less
fragile to supply the heat.

"Well, I have some extra nightgowns here," his mother was saying. "I'm
taller than you, but I think one of them will do in a pinch."

Chelsea came into the room, interrupting to ask her grandmother a
question about an appetizer plate she and

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her sisters were assembling in the kitchen, and Kyle took the
opportunity to glance at Zuzu.

Her forehead was dimpling again.

He leaned close. "It's fine," he murmured. "Relax."

"Oh! Da-a-ad," Chelsea said, giggling. "Look up."

Mistletoe.

Someone had hung a sprig of mistletoe from one of the ceiling beams, and
it was right above his head. Every time someone sat here in the love
seat—which was next to the fire and the warmest spot in the cabin—they'd
be sitting under that damn mistletoe. Someone was very funny. Possibly
three someones in cahoots.

"Sydney, Alex! Come in here!" Chelsea hollered. "Dad and Zuzu are
sitting under the mistletoe!"

Alex had barely rounded the corner before she exclaimed, "You have to
kiss her, Dad!"

Jeez. Her voice was piercing.

"Yeah," Sydney said dryly. "Plant a good one on her. Grandma hasn't seen
you do that yet."

And of course his dad caught on and added to the commotion with his
standard "Kiss the little woman."

Kyle braced himself. There was no way he could avoid this kiss. He might
as well get it over with. But he'd keep it sweet and innocent. Grimacing
at the "Kiss her" chant the girls were starting, Kyle turned toward
Zuzu.

And noticed her eyes from up close.

They were gorgeous. Their rich color was lit with untold emotion, yet
right now Kyle was more struck by the expressiveness within their
depths.

The intelligence.

As much as he thought he could discount a woman who wore pink streaks in
her hair and sequins at noon, he couldn't discount Zuzu. She was more
than she revealed.

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Kyle sensed that her quirky persona was just a part of her—maybe some
sort of mask. She wasn't just eccentric. She was also smart and
thoughtful.

Kyle didn't see a kook when he gazed into Zuzu's eyes. He saw a woman. A
hot, wonderful woman.

He put a hand at her nape, resisting the urge to pull out the combs that
held her hair up, and then he bypassed her mouth to whisper into her
ear, "Here goes."

He backed up three inches, closed his eyes and let himself kiss her. As
soon as his lips touched hers, however, he lost sight of his intent to
keep the kiss innocent. He kissed her every bit as passionately as any
available man would kiss any available hot, wonderful woman.

Whether he'd meant to or not, Kyle would have had to kiss Zuzu that
deeply.

Her lips were just that soft.

Her taste was that exotic.

He lifted his mouth a fraction, thinking he was ready to back away, but
then he swooped in for a couple more nibbles. Man, he was in trouble
here. He recognized that even as he continued. He should stop, he
thought, and then added a last, medium-size tender buss in case he never
had occasion to kiss Zuzu again.

Finally, when Alex, Chelsea and Eddie were in fits of giggles, Kyle
backed up. Looking at Zuzu again, he noted the smoldering passion in her
gaze.

The questions, as well.

Yes. Zuzu Clark was more than she let on.

Which meant he had more of a problem on his hands than he'd realized.
He'd have to remember not to kiss her again unless completely necessary.
Apparently, his will was useless when met with all the mysterious
wonders of Zuzu.

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111

Zuzu stared at the bracelet as Kyle pulled it out of the red velvet box
and draped it over her wrist.

"Gold looks great against your skin," he said, smiling. "I knew it
would."

She reminded herself to breathe from her center. She was fine. She'd
survived an hour and a half with the Harpers. She'd survived the
mistletoe and the subsequent kisses that had seemed combustible but were
perhaps typical for Kyle—he'd never kissed her any other way—and then
she'd survived most of the opening of gifts.

Until now.

"What is this?" she asked softly, watching as Kyle tugged her wrist onto
his lap and turned it over so he could reach the bracelet's fastener.

"A bracelet."

Of course it was a bracelet. She didn't need him to identify the gift;
she needed him to explain it.

The box she'd pulled out of the gift bag a moment ago had said it was
diamonds and gold. Real, expensive-looking diamonds. Twenty of them,
she'd counted, in a row that glittered against her wrist. And real,
expensive-looking gold entwined around those diamonds in a series of Xs.

But she was his fake fiancee, and confused.

When he let go of her hand, she pulled it away from the heat of his lap.
She suspected that he hadn't realized where he'd deposited her hand, but
she'd been aware of it.

Just as he appeared to have forgotten now that they weren't really
engaged. Weren't really in love.

But she was very aware of it.

Kyle wasn't handling today as well as he'd promised. In fact, he was
making the situation much more difficult than it needed to be. She
wanted to talk to him, to find out

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what he thought he was doing. She needed to explain that what he was
doing was a problem for her.

Glancing around the room, Zuzu was relieved to discover that no one was
paying attention to her and Kyle. The Harper girls were all sitting
cross-legged in front of the fireplace near the dog, comparing stacks of
new CDs and books. Victoria was on the sofa with Eddie again, helping
him look through an album of photographs that Kyle and his daughters had
compiled for them.

Zuzu returned her gaze at Kyle and shook her head. "This is too
expensive," she said, turning the bracelet around on her wrist so she
could unfasten it. "You'll have to take it back."

"You don't like it?"

"It's beautiful, but..." The tiny plate dangling near the clasp caught
Zuzu's attention. She flipped it over, and realized that it had her name
and Kyle's etched on either side of a tiny heart.

He'd had their names engraved on it.

A heart, too, for heaven's sake.

"You had it engraved?" she asked. "But you and I aren't really enga—"

Kyle's big hand covered the bracelet, stopping her movements.
Immediately afterward, his mouth covered hers. He kissed her only once
this time, quickly, then he backed up and murmured in her ear. "Shh!
They can hear you."

"They aren't listening."

He stared at her, his jaw clenched.

She set her own jaw. "We need to talk, Kyle."

He kept staring and clenching.

"Now," she said. "Privately."

He didn't move.

Zuzu got up, smiled at Kyle's mother and said, "Your son promised me a
hike today. Guess I'll take him up on it now."

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113

Kyle's mother smiled and nodded and returned her attention to Eddie and
the photographs.

"Zuzu, have you looked outside?" Kyle hissed. "I really don't think we
ought to hike today—"

"We darn well should," she interrupted, casting an exasperated glance
his way. Why was he arguing? She'd seen the cabin. It had exactly four
rooms and a loft, and none of the spaces was huge. The only place to
talk privately was outside. Surely Kyle wasn't a wimp who never ventured
out-of-doors.

"Fresh air will be good for both of us after sitting for so long," she
said. "And I know your family won't mind if we want private time."

Ignoring the new, concerned frown on Victoria's face, Zuzu headed for
the hall closet and hoped Kyle would have the good sense to follow her.

He did.

Wordlessly, he opened the closet door and took out their coats. Once he
had helped her into hers, he put on his own. "After you," he said, his
voice gentlemanly as he opened the front door.

Oh.

The snow was blowing really hard now, and the wind pushed into the cabin
and rattled the wrapping paper that still littered the living-room
floor. A small drift had formed on the porch, and threatened to spill
inside. Zuzu stepped out calf-deep, then turned to give Kyle a "What are
you waiting for?" glare.

Kyle followed her out and closed the door behind him.

Zuzu wished she'd worn a hat and gloves. "Wow. There must be ten inches
of snow out here," she said, her voice vibrating with shivers.

Kyle studied her cloak. "Is that thing at all warm?"

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"This thing is made of wool. It's incredibly warm."

"It doesn't cover your arms."

She peered down at her cloak. "My arms are inside next to my body, which
is warm."

"Well, maybe," he said, eyeing her torso skeptically.

"Are you going to stand there making fun of my clothes, or are we going
on this hike so we can talk about our p-p-problem?" she asked, and then
clenched her jaw again to keep her teeth from chattering.

He swept a hand out toward the porch steps. "Go ahead. Hike."

She frowned out at the snow. "Which way?"

He squinted through the apparent blizzard toward the wooded area to the
west of the cabin. "That way," he said, pointing. "That's where the
trails start."

She stared out there, too. Snow was piled thick on the evergreen
branches, making them bend down at unnatural angles. Even the bare trees
were sagging. As she and Kyle watched, a loud crack sounded, then a huge
tree branch fell silently and majestically into the snow.

"Wow," Zuzu said, shivering harder.

"Maybe we ought to talk right here," Kyle said.

"Sounds g-g-good." Hoping to warm herself a bit, Zuzu started bouncing.
Snow pelted her front side, making it hard to keep her eyes open, so she
faced the cabin door.

So did Kyle.

He glanced at her then, grinning, and finally started to chuckle. His
breath formed puffs of vapor in front of his face, and that made him
laugh all the harder.

Zuzu sighed deeply and then chuckled, too. Anyone passing by on the road
might think they appeared ridiculous, standing two feet from the cabin
door and facing it

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115

to have a conversation. Maybe they should have talked in the cabin
kitchen. They could have whispered.

Kyle had his head tucked down into the neck of his coat, but his ears
were growing pinker by the minute. "It's freezing out here," he said,
sobering. "Let's get to the problem."

Zuzu, who'd just realized that the tip of her nose was tingling, agreed.
She'd keep her argument short and to the point. "The bracelet," she
said.

"What's wrong with it?"

Zuzu didn't answer immediately. She was that cold.

Kyle pulled her into his arms. She might have protested, except she knew
he was only warming her and him. She couldn't put her arms around him
with her hands inside the cloak, but she snuggled closer. "It's real,
Kyle. That's what's wrong with it."

"I know it's real," he said, his breath warm against her hair. "I bought
it."

"It's not appropriate," she said, but Kyle's hug appeared to take the
oomph out of her argument. Quarrelling with a person while also hugging
him was tough.

She wondered if marriage therapists had stumbled onto this technique
yet.

Kyle backed up enough to gaze in Zuzu's eyes, but kept his arms around
her. "I was only trying to do what I would do if you were my real
fiancee. I wouldn't want Mom or the girls to think I was giving you
something cheap."

"You had it engraved," she repeated.

"My dad always taught me that details are important," he said softly.
"Chocolate pie is just pie, but if you serve it on beautiful white
china, swirl raspberry sauce beneath it and arrange chocolate curls and
a mint leaf on top—well, then you've created an experience."

Zuzu stared at his smile. From this close she could re-

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ally study it, chipped tooth, eye crinkles and all. She recognized that
he'd taken real pleasure in offering this particular gift to her, and
she admitted to herself that she had loved the detail of the engraving.

Even though his choice had made her uncomfortable.

Even though it meant she couldn't return the bracelet.

Even though it was totally inappropriate, she loved the idea that a man
would do something that romantic for a woman he was supposed to love.

But there was another thing she'd come out here to tell him. What was
it? With his lips just inches away, remembering was tough.

Oh, yeah.

"And Kyle, what was that kiss about?"

"Which one?"

She sighed. "The mistletoe kiss. K-kisses."

"I didn't mean for it—them—to go that far," he said.

They stood eyeing each other. Zuzu wondered if the color on Kyle's
cheeks was deepening because of the cold or because of embarrassment.

Suddenly, she didn't care all that much. She just wanted to go inside.
"I was counting on you to manage things today," she said quickly. "But
maybe I should take over. You seem to be forgetting that we're not
actually engaged."

"I'm not forgetting."

"Well, let's keep it in mind. No more expensive, unre-turnable gifts,
and control the kisses."

He gave her a hot look. "You kissed me back."

"I was f-following your 1-lead."

He nodded, but one side of his mouth turned up in a skeptical smile.
"Think you can do better?" he asked.

"Sure."

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"Okay. You can take over today, right after I make one last decision."

"What's that?"

"Let's get inside." Kyle opened the cabin door and swept a hand out in
front of him, inviting her in again.

The living room was vacant, but noise from the kitchen indicated that
Kyle's family must have gone in there. Zuzu was glad, feeling that she
needed a moment to get her bearings.

After she and Kyle had removed their coats and wet boots, they stood by
the fire for a few minutes—first facing it to warm their toes and noses,
then facing away from it to warm their backsides.

When Zuzu felt thawed again, she glanced at Kyle. "Sounds like they're
in the kitchen," she said. "Maybe they're waiting on us to start
dinner."

She headed in that direction, thinking that surely she and Kyle could
get through dinner without a problem. She was eager to discover whether
Kyle's family liked her moon cakes.

Eddie was sitting in a kitchen chair, eating green olives from a
crystal-cut bowl and staring at a small television that sat on top of
the refrigerator. He was alone, listening to the five-o'clock weather
report.

"Oh!" Zuzu stopped so abruptly that Kyle bumped into her from behind.
She turned around, and he backed up. "They aren't in there," she said,
frowning.

Kyle didn't say anything, but his expression said enough.

"What?" she asked.

He winced. "I know where they've probably gone."

"Where?"

"Uh. To the bedrooms."

Zuzu shook her head. "And that's a problem because why?"

"The girls are probably helping Mom make up the

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beds," he said quietly. "The weather advisories have probably said to
stay put because of all the snow, and Mom will want to ensure everyone's
safety." He paused and shook his head. "And to be honest, I can't risk
having her get stranded with Dad and the kids in the car. And I can't
leave my family here without me."

Zuzu didn't know why Kyle thought this was a problem. They'd half
expected to get snowed in tonight, hadn't they? She agreed that spending the night in safety and returning home when the roads were cleared would be better. This wasn't a problem.

"Okay," she said calmly, starting back toward the bedrooms. "I'll go
find your mom and see if I can help with anything."

Kyle caught her arm, momentarily holding her trapped in the hallway
between the kitchen and living room. Then he sighed heavily and let go.
"There are two bedrooms," he said. "Mom and Dad will take one of them. Dad needs her around at night."

"I'm sure he does."

Kyle pointed upward. "Alex and Chelsea will sleep up there, in two twin
beds."

"Mmm-hmm." She smiled when she thought about the loft area above the
living room. It was tiny and cozy. Perfect for the two younger girls. "That'll be fun for them."

Kyle didn't smile at all. "Sydney will sleep on the living-room sofa."

"Okay."

He raised his eyebrows. "We'll take the second bedroom."

"We?"

"We, as in you and I."

Oh. That was his problem. "We'll be expected to sleep together, alone?"
she whispered, stepping closer to him.

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"Well, yes."

"Your mother won't have a problem with that?" Zuzu paused, reminding
herself to lower her voice. Then she stepped closer to Kyle and hissed, "With your kids under the same roof?"

"Uh. Well." He shook his head slightly, and he seemed to be staring at
her hair. "If we were just friends or even just dating, Mom would make other arrangements."

"But?"

"But I'm a widower, and I've been a widower for a while, and we are both
over twenty-one." He paused. "We just announced a quick engagement and a
wedding date less than two months away. We just shared a scorching kiss
in front of her and the kids. So she'll think..."

"She'll think it's a done deal," Zuzu finished. 'The kids are obviously
aware of a romance between us and there aren't enough beds to go around,
so your mother will think it makes the most sense to let everyone be as
comfortable as possible."

"Right. Mom's enlightened and practical."

"Well," Zuzu said, frowning. "Guess we can't control the weather, can
we?"

"Nope."

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Five hours later, Zuzu slipped Victoria's long cotton gown over her head
and scooted into bed. She'd excused herself from the living room a few
minutes ago, when she'd realized that Victoria was nodding off in the
middle of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

Victoria had helped Eddie get off to bed earlier, but then she'd
returned to the living room, apparently finding it necessary to
entertain her presumed future daughter-in-law. Glad for an excuse to
leave, Zuzu had yawned, telling everyone that she, too, was tired and
would have to rent the movie later. She and Victoria had headed to the
cabin bedrooms.

Now Zuzu pulled the blankets up to her chin and glanced at the door.
Would Kyle follow her in? Or would he watch the end of the movie with
his daughters? She hoped he'd wait. She wanted to be under the covers
when he arrived. She wanted the room quiet and dark.

Even though they would only be sharing a bed, she was nervous. Maybe it
was childish, but she'd rarely slept with a man all night.

Too many mornings in her mother's house, Zuzu had arrived in the kitchen
to discover some unshaven, half-dressed man sitting in her chair. Eating
her cereal.

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Laughing with her mom or, worse, fighting with her. Stealing not only
their time together, but also Zuzu's hopes that this placement would be
permanent. When the men had come around, Zuzu had recognized that her
mother was probably drinking again. And that meant that Zuzu was
probably on her way back into foster care.

She'd vowed that her life would be different. Except for the rare
occasion when she was out celebrating with friends, she didn't drink
much alcohol. She'd never gone to bars to meet men, and she didn't sleep
in her boyfriends' beds or invite them to sleep in hers.

Since Kyle wasn't actually a boyfriend, he didn't count. Besides, Zuzu
couldn't figure out how to avoid sleeping with him without blowing the
whole engagement ruse.

But she hoped that maybe a head start would give her an advantage. If
she could go to sleep before Kyle entered the bedroom, she'd be
oblivious to him all night. Then she'd likely wake up before him and
could be dressed and gone before he awoke.

She closed her eyes, but couldn't stop thinking about her day. Dinner
had been a lot of fun. In fact, the entire day had been fun. Before
she'd opened the box with the bracelet from Kyle, she'd enjoyed watching
the Harpers open their gifts from her. She'd chosen Crystals 'n Cures
merchandise for everyone. The three-legged frog figurine she'd bought
for Kyle had caused quite a stir. Everyone had laughed when he'd pulled
it out of the box, but it was very handsome, made of bronze and
beautifully formed. She'd explained that it was said to bring continued
prosperity to its owner.

Kyle had made a few jokes about his fiancee getting him a deformed frog
to mark their first Christmas together, but he'd also kissed her on the
cheek and said that he had the perfect spot for it in his study.

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The others had liked their gifts, too, and they had been especially
pleased when she'd described each item's feng shui significance. Eddie
had laughed at his soothing jade turtle, and then he'd held it in his
lap most of the evening. Victoria, whose gift had been hardest to
choose, had been excited about her eight-bells wind chime. Some of
Victoria's friends had hired feng shui decorators, she'd said, so she
was familiar with the philosophy and appreciated such a thoughtful gift.
She'd explained to her granddaughters that the metal bells were
considered lucky, especially when grouped into a formation of eight.

Zuzu herself had loved the bright striped sweater from Victoria and the
jasmine-scented bath set from the girls, but she would cherish the
experience of the day even more than the gifts. The Harper family had
allowed her to be herself, and they had welcomed her readily.

As she lay in bed reflecting on her day, Zuzu realized she was still
wearing the bracelet from Kyle. Frowning as she worked the clasp in the
darkness, she finally got it loose and slipped out of bed to set the
jewelry on the dresser.

Abruptly, the bedroom door opened and Kyle's tall shape was illuminated
in the doorway. "Good. You're awake," he said softly.

Cripes! He'd caught her out of bed.

Zuzu took advantage of the hallway light, quickly crossing the room and
sliding back under the covers. "Barely," she said. "I was almost asleep
and remembered that I'd left the bracelet on."

"It won't bother you," he said. "I thought I'd tell you that the latest
weather report calls for higher temperatures and no snow tonight. The
crews should be able to get the roads cleared by morning."

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123

His silhouette was so imposing. Zuzu rolled onto her side, facing away
from him. "Great."

"Well, good night," he said.

The door closed, and for a moment Zuzu didn't know whether he'd come in
or gone back out. Then she felt the mattress move. He'd sat down on the
edge of the bed. "I'm going to sleep in my boxers," he said. "They're
decent, but don't look if you don't want to see."

She listened to some enticing rustlings. Then the bed moved again, and
Zuzu felt him slide in next to her. How was it possible that a bed could
warm so quickly just by adding an extra body? After a while, Zuzu heard
Kyle's breathing deepen and slow. He'd fallen asleep almost immediately.
Until three years ago, he'd been accustomed to sleeping with Beth.
Perhaps that had helped.

Zuzu found sleep elusive. When she felt Kyle's foot touch hers a while
later, she inched hers away. Then his hip brushed against her backside.
His skin felt hot.

Her skin felt as if every pore was aware of him. She started to edge
away, but then his leg covered her ankle, trapping her. She pretended a
soft groan, untangling herself and shifting to the very edge of the
queen-size bed.

He moved closer.

Damn. If he was asleep, he was a snuggler. If he was awake, he was still
a snuggler and in trouble.

"Kyle."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Nothing is going to happen in this bed."

"Huh? Oh. Mmm-hmm."

"Move back over."

He did, for a long time. But just after dawn, Zuzu woke up when she
thought she heard cartoons playing outside the bedroom door. She decided
she should get up to dress

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and greet whoever was up, but she was reluctant to leave the warmth of
the bed.

And then Kyle moved. The length of his leg slid against hers. His hand
grazed her ear.

This time, she didn't say a word. She thought he was just stretching in
his sleep and he felt so good. So warm. Even when his hand slid down her
shoulder to her upper arm and stayed there, she allowed it. She tempered
her breathing, watching his hand in the soft light of daybreak to see if
his fingers moved. To see if he was waking.

Then he flipped over almost on top of her and brushed a kiss against her
jaw.

Dared she think he was still asleep?

She didn't know, but she didn't want him to stop. His mouth moved deeper
onto her neck, and he kissed her tenderly as he adjusted his body over
hers. His chest, stomach and hips pressed against her gown-clad body,
while his strong legs embraced her bare ones.

He was hot. Solid.

Aroused.

Zuzu thought she'd never feel cold again. This memory would surely be
enough to warm her even when she was an old, old woman. She closed her
eyes and relaxed into that thought, wanting Kyle and this moment the way
she'd never wanted anything.

When he nibbled on an extremely sensitive spot above her collarbone,
Zuzu squirmed beneath him. She adjusted her soft places to fit more
snugly against his hard ones.

And then he found her lips. The openmouthed kiss was more erotic than
any they'd shared before. Purposeful—the kind of kiss a man gave a woman
before he made love to her.

Almost without thought, Zuzu thrust her hips upward

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and her knees outward. She slid her hands to his broad shoulders and
held him near.

Then, inexplicably, he stopped kissing. Zuzu opened her eyes to meet
Kyle's gaze. His expression made his thoughts clear, even in the
darkness.

He was at least partially awake, and he didn't intend to stop unless she
asked him to.

She was in control.

Zuzu felt paralyzed for a moment, but then she did the only thing she
could think to do. She cupped the back of his head to bring his mouth
back down to hers.

"Mornin', gorgeous," he said, his voice a sleepy rumble. Then he kissed
her again.

She experimented a little, licking his bottom lip, nipping his tongue,
readily accepting her share of the blame as she fell deeper into wild
desire.

Kyle might be the wrong kind of man for her, but he was the kind of man
she dreamed about and right now, she needed more of him.

He slid his fingers through her hair, starting near her temple and then
following it down to the ends. He grazed a hand lightly against her
breast once, and then away as if the touch had been an accident.

She gripped his broad shoulders and tugged him nearer, wishing he'd keep
touching her.

And he did.

He rested both hands lightly but deliberately against her waist and
slowly coasted them upward, making the thin fabric of her gown seem too
thick, even while his dark gaze made it seem transparent. When he
reached her breasts, he cupped them through the fabric.

Then he caught the gown's hem and eased the material upward. "You have
the softest skin," he whispered as he

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exposed her legs, her thighs, her hips. After he'd moved the gown above
her breasts, he let his eyes travel down to her hips and back up again.

She shivered. Wanting him to touch her naked skin now.

And he did.

She shut her eyes, enjoying the feel of a man's hands on her again.
Thinking that of course it would feel this good after a long hiatus, but
then realizing that no other man's hands had ever felt this good.

Kyle was playing with her body.

Loving it.

Cherishing it.

But he shouldn't be.

This was just another area where Kyle excelled, and if Zuzu let this
morning's diversion go any further, she might be lost in feelings she
wasn't prepared to feel. She couldn't go that far. She and Kyle were
only pretending to be in love. No matter how much she wanted him in a
physical way, she couldn't trust him with her heart.

He was still in love with Beth.

"Kyle."

He pressed his lips to a spot below her earlobe and kept working magic
with his hands. "Mmm, hmm," he said, his hot breath encouraging her to
forget resistance.

"Did you hear me?" she asked. She knew he had, but she wanted to prolong
the delicious sensations for a second or two longer.

"Yeah."

"Stop."

"Hmm?" He kissed her once more, right beside her mouth, as if the verbal
part of his brain was just slightly ahead of his physical ability to
react.

"We can't do this."

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He frowned, lifting his hands away from her.

"I think the kids are up."

That helped. He moved completely off her, blinking as if he was trying
to wake up. "At six-thirty?" he said. "Unbelievable."

Zuzu sat up, yanking the gown back down over her body and then the
covers back up over both her and Kyle.

"I heard cartoons a while earlier," she said.

"That's probably Dad," Kyle said as he adjusted his position on the bed,
and in the process kicked the blankets halfway down to their hips again.

"Oh. Okay. Thought it was the kids." Zuzu hoped Kyle realized that it
didn't matter who was watching television—they still had to stop.

The day was growing bright enough that Zuzu could see Kyle better. His
handsome face looked sleepy and his muscular chest glowed with good
health. She tried not to stare, but he was a beautiful man. Masculine,
but beautiful.

He was on his side facing her, smiling at her hair. His gaze started at
her shoulders, then traveled slowly to her waist. He was interested.
Sexually interested.

His hands and lips may have stopped touching her body, but his brain
hadn't. Wasn't he awake yet?

"What is it?" Zuzu asked innocently. "Do I have last night's eggnog in
my hair or something?"

Kyle shoved a hand through his own hair. "Oh, man. I'm sorry."

Now that he was more aware of what had happened, she decided to give him
an easy out. She smiled. "Were you asleep before?" she asked.

"Not completely. I was somewhat aware of what was happening," he
answered, surprising her with his honesty. "Were you asleep?"

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His question surprised her even more. She didn't want to lie, but she
didn't want to tell the truth, either. Not after she'd told him
yesterday that she would take control of the situation and handle things
better.

And not after he'd given her control, here in bed. That communication
had been clear, yet she'd indulged herself anyway. "Ah, no," she
mumbled.

Then she bounced off the bed, gathered her neat pile of clothes and
padded out to the bathroom down the hall. When she returned to the
bedroom a few minutes later, she was fully dressed and so was Kyle.

He was sitting at the end of the made-up bed, wearing yesterday's
clothes, with his hair combed. "Sorry," he said again, shaking his head.

Zuzu put Victoria's folded gown on top of the dresser, then picked up
her brush and a couple of hair bands. "Neither of us intended to get
involved that way," she said. "I'm fine. We're fine."

"Guess it's been a while for me. Beth is the only woman I've—" He
stopped.

Thank heaven. Zuzu didn't want to hear about Beth right now. "Shh!" she
said. "Let's not start listing excuses. We'll admit that we are
attracted to each other and try harder to avoid this type of situation,
all right?"

"All right."

Zuzu stood in front of the dresser mirror and brushed one side of her
hair into a ponytail. She wrapped a band around it, then began coiling
it above her ear.

"Do you have to put your hair up today?" he asked.

Zuzu glanced backward. She didn't think a man had ever watched her fix
her hair before. It seemed so personal. She frowned at him. "Pardon me?"

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"Your hair. It looks great down." He reclined against the bed. "You
ought to leave it."

Zuzu looked back into the mirror, considering. She'd always worn her
hair up. It was very long and it got in her way. No one had ever
suggested that she do otherwise.

She couldn't believe Kyle was doing so now. Her hairstyle was none of
his business, and he could be so bossy at times.

But that wasn't what bothered Zuzu the most.

He'd brought up Beth's name a moment ago, and that was the problem. In
fifteen years of marriage, Kyle must have watched Beth style her hair a
thousand times.

Maybe he'd told her how to wear it and maybe he hadn't, but he must have
known her habits very well. After all that had happened yesterday and
this morning, Zuzu didn't want any comparisons, in her mind or Kyle's.
She tugged the band out of her hair again, tossed it and the brush on
the dresser and turned to stare at him. "Kyle, you aren't helping at
all. Go away!"

He got up and walked to the bedroom door. "We'll drive home as soon as
everyone's ready," he said. "All the Kirk-wood schools are closed today,
so I've closed Harper's corporate offices, too. You won't have to pick
up the girls from school."

"All right. Good."

He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "If you want to quit the nanny
stint entirely, I'll understand."

"Why would I quit?"

He eyed her hair. "This pretend engagement seems to be changing things."

Zuzu's entire childhood had been filled with broken promises. She
wouldn't let the Harper girls down for any reason. "Of course I'll
continue," she said, grabbing her

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brush again. "But we ought to avoid being alone together. We don't
handle it well."

"Right. Maybe we should agree to see each other only when necessary," he
said. "We have, what, seven weeks left? We can stay out of trouble for
that long."

Seven weeks sounded long enough for them to get into plenty of trouble,
Zuzu thought.

"The girls' holiday break starts on Thursday," Kyle said, his tone
carrying a warning. "I'll need full-time help for most of those two
weeks. But you'll be with the kids. Not me."

"I know," she said. "I've got the schedule written on my calendar. Your
girls and I are planning to have a blast."

"Then we're all right again," he asked quietly. "This was no big deal."

"Nope."

He sneezed. Recovered. Then said, "Great."

Walking into the darkened auditorium of the Kirkwood Middle School, Kyle
surveyed the crowd, looking for Zuzu and the kids. He was supposed to
have met them here an hour ago, but he'd been late getting off work.
He'd expected as much. Holidays were always super busy at Harper
Enterprises.

An unusual amount of merrymaking generated an unusual number of
problems, and Kyle spent long hours solving them. Today, one of the
Kansas City properties had had to toss out fifty pounds of beef after a
new sous chef had left a freezer door open overnight. Kyle had been on
the phone to the supplier, trying to expedite a delivery so the kitchen
would be stocked for an evening heavily scheduled with company parties
and family gatherings.

That was one of the reasons he'd been reluctant to com-

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mit to being here this evening. He'd certainly wanted to be here.
Chelsea was singing a solo in the school's musical, and she'd been
practicing for weeks. He'd hoped that if he couldn't make it, she would
enjoy the experience for itself, understanding that her father couldn't
be in two places at once.

When Beth was alive, she'd handled the children's needs—including their
special events. He'd shown up when he could, and the girls had been
pleased by his presence. He'd felt like a king among princesses.

In the past three years, he'd done his best. But he'd also relied on the
nannies to substitute for him whenever necessary. Zuzu was different.
She managed the kids—and in a sense, him—more like the fiancee she was
pretending to be than the temporary nanny she was supposed to be. When
he'd mentioned the possibility of missing Chelsea's performance, Zuzu
had complained louder than his daughters had.

So he'd hurried through work and then he'd hurried to the school, and
now he just hoped he hadn't missed Chelsea's song. A quartet of girls
were onstage now. Kyle waited for them to finish their chorus and then
he walked forward, scanning the rows for Zuzu and his daughters.

When he saw a woman in the second row wearing masses of curls tied up on
her head with wide purple ribbons, he knew it had to be Zuzu.

For once, he was glad she'd worn her hair up.

Just as the quartet started another chorus in a medley of Santa songs,
he sidled down the row and claimed the empty chair between Zuzu and
Alex. Zuzu handed him a program, tapping on some printing in the middle
of the page—Chelsea's name.

Great. She would be singing after some kid named Luke Lolly, who was up
next.

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As the quartet filed offstage a few moments later, Zuzu leaned over.
'"Bout time," she whispered.

Well, jeez. He'd made it, hadn't he?

The very tiny Luke Lolly came onstage and began to boom out a song about
the changing of the seasons. Kyle let his mind wander between the
problems at work, worries that Chelsea would have to follow this kid—who
was actually pretty decent—and an annoyance at Alex's gum popping. He'd
just bent down to shush her when Zuzu beat him to the punch.

After Zuzu's reprimand, Alex slid down in her seat, suddenly quiet.

Kyle managed to pay more attention to the music until he moved his arm
to the armrests and realized that Zuzu's hand was already occupying the
one between them.

He chuckled and lifted his hand immediately, glancing at her. She was
watching the boy sing and nodding in time to the piano chords. She must
not have noticed the contact, but he sure had.

He'd wanted to keep his hand there, and not because he was playing the
part of her fiance. It was because he liked the feel of her skin.

He liked her, but he felt embarrassed about it. Sort of like an
adolescent who'd developed a crazy crush on the cute girl from the wrong
crowd.

He'd wanted to take her hand and squeeze it, thanking her silently for
bringing his daughters to the concert tonight. For making sure
everything was all right in his world.

He would have done such a thing with Beth.

He hadn't mistaken Zuzu's hand for Beth's, though. He was sure of that.
He was simply rediscovering some old, familiar feelings for a woman who
was as wrong for him as cookies would be with beer, or dill pickles with
ice cream.

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Maybe Zuzu had been right the other day. Maybe he was occasionally
forgetting that the engagement wasn't real.

Maybe he'd been foolish to initiate the confounded engagement story in
the first place.

Well. It was too late now. His dad seemed brighter every time Kyle saw
him, the newspapers had already run two more articles about the
engagement, and as a side benefit, Beth's old buddies had even stopped
prowling around.

The pretense had taken on a life of its own. Apparently, it wasn't even
necessary for him and Zuzu to be seen together in public. And that was
for the best. Kyle's feelings for Zuzu might be juvenile, but they were
growing stronger.

Yet it was obvious that she didn't trust him, and she was smart not to.
He was confused. Lonely. He had no business indulging his sexual
fantasies with her. They'd both be better off if she just helped with
the kids every day and then went home to her house and her life.

The crowd clapped, and Kyle realized that the boy had left the stage.
Focusing forward, Kyle beamed when Chelsea walked out. He didn't
remember her long purple dress. It was sparkly. Pretty in a showy way.
Zuzu must have taken her shopping.

Chelsea stopped in the middle of the stage, then faced the audience. She
looked lovely and quite grown-up, for about ten seconds. When a look of
panic slowly replaced her tentative smile, she appeared to be small
again. And very alone.

She scanned the audience and located him, so he mouthed, "You're okay.
Smile."

She nodded. Frowned. Then watched Zuzu.

"Breathe," Zuzu whispered, and started counting slowly. "One.. .two..
.three. That's right."

Chelsea relaxed. After a few seconds, she nodded to

134


the pianist, and at the perfect moment began to sing "Sleigh Ride."

Her voice was clear, sweet, perfectly pitched. Kyle hadn't realized she
could sing so well. How could he have missed something like that? Had
Beth known? He didn't realize he was holding his breath until she'd
finished.

The audience started clapping and he took a deep breath, grinning as
Chelsea made her curtsy. Grinning wider when Alex and Sydney stood up to
cheer. After the rest of the show, which passed by in a blur, Chelsea
bounded out of the side entry to hug him. "You're here! You saw me,
didn't you?"

"You did a beautiful job, Chelsea," he said. "I didn't know you could
sing so well."

"That's 'cuz I was afraid to sing in front of anyone. Zuzu told me that
most performers are nervous at first. She said there were ways to cope
with it."

Then Chelsea turned to Zuzu. "And it worked!" she said. "My heart was
beating so hard I thought everyone could hear it in the microphone, but
I did the breathing, just like you told me to, and I felt okay again!"

Zuzu smiled and hugged Chelsea. "You were perfect."

Kyle caught Zuzu's eye over Chelsea's shoulder and mouthed a thank-you
that was hardly adequate.

"Can we go to Tiers now, to celebrate?" Alex asked from behind him.

Kyle frowned at her. "It's eight o'clock. You haven't eaten?"

"Zuzu made us some chicken nuggets and rice before the show," Chelsea
said. "But we want dessert. I'm craving one of Jenny's caramel-stuffed
pears."

Kyle was famished, so he liked the idea. He could order something more
substantial to eat while the girls had their desserts. "All right. You
talked me into it."

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135

Chelsea did a little happy jig right there in the middle of the aisle.
"I'm sitting by Zuzu!" she called out.

"Oh, no," Zuzu said, smiling. "My hips aren't sixteen anymore. I've had
dinner, and if I keep eating Jenny's desserts I'll have to buy a new
wardrobe. I'm going home."

"But it's only, like, eight o'clock," Alex whined. "And we don't have
school tomorrow, so we want to party. If you aren't hungry, you could
just get a drink."

"I'm tired," Zuzu said. "And remember, since you don't have school
tomorrow, I'm coming to your house in the morning. Are we still on for
an afternoon matinee?"

As Kyle watched all three of his daughters plead with Zuzu, he tried to
curb his impulse. He'd love to invite her to accompany them to Tiers. It
was only right. She'd had a major hand in getting Chelsea onstage and
him to the performance. But that would mean more time together. And she
was markedly reluctant. And they had said that they would only see each
other when absolutely necessary.

Chelsea was practically in tears. "If you don't go, then I won't,
either," she said.

Finally, Kyle could stand it no longer. "Sure you're coming, hon," he
said, dropping an arm casually around Zuzu's shoulders. "I haven't seen
you all day, and your hips are perfectly fine."

Zuzu frowned, tilting her head up at him.

"We won't have privacy," he said with careful emphasis, "but at least
the girls and I will get to talk to you for a while." He smiled at her,
hoping she'd catch on. They'd eat in public, with the kids. They
wouldn't be alone.

It would be all right.

Forty-five minutes later, Kyle ate his last few bites of steak while
Zuzu polished off a slice of key lime pie.

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When they'd arrived, the girls had headed straight back to the kitchen
to check out the desserts before they ordered. Jenny had offered to let
them sample every single one as long as they stayed in the kitchen. She
hadn't wanted the customers to think that was an option for everyone.

It had been a nice thing to do, but it had left Kyle sitting alone with
Zuzu.

"Well, that was delicious," Zuzu said. "But I still don't know why I'm
here. You and I weren't even a part of the kids' celebration."

Kyle finished his drink, then waved for the waiter. "I think they're
trying to make you feel you're part of the family. What happened tonight
isn't unusual for the Harpers. I liked to hang out in the kitchen when I
was a kid, too. My parents appreciated the time alone."

"Do you ever wonder if we should have told the truth in the first
place?"

"Yeah. But we didn't." He shrugged. "Besides, I wanted you to come
tonight, to thank you for helping Chelsea."

"Thanks aren't necessary. I didn't do it for you. Chelsea wanted to
sing, and she wanted you there."

Kyle nodded. "I'm glad I went."

"My mom came to my kindergarten orientation meeting," Zuzu said,
surprising him. "She wore a pretty blue dress and she was full of
smiles. I'll never forget that day."

The waiter arrived with the bill, and Kyle handed him some cash. He
always paid for his meals at Harper restaurants—it was easier to keep
the accounting straight and he could certainly afford it.

"When did you go into foster care?" he asked a moment later, when they
were alone again.

"Right after Christmas that year. She'd started drinking when she lost
her job. But I was back with her, off and on,

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until I was twelve. That year, they quit sending me back. I visited her
sometimes, though."

"Sounds tough."

She shrugged.

"And what were your foster parents like? Did they go to your school
events?"

"Some did," Zuzu said. "An older Chinese couple I lived with when I was
thirteen went to everything."

"What happened to them?"

"An abused, seven-year-old Vietnamese boy entered the system. The case
manager wanted him with the Tans, who had a small house and couldn't put
us in the same bedroom. I was sent on to the next place."

"Are you still in touch with them?"

"No. Unfortunately, Wayne Tan died a few years ago. Lily went back to
China to live with a sister."

Kyle shook his head. "Sorry."

She smiled. "Most people live through tough times in their lives. You
have. Mine just started early."

Right. But he was a grown man. Zuzu had been a kid, and wouldn't have
been able to comprehend the temporary nature of almost any problem.
Someone's carelessness had caused her tough times. Kyle was glad she was
so well-adjusted. Instead of letting the past drag her down, she'd
become a better person.

He was wishing he could kiss her right now. Had they been truly engaged,
he would have.

He got up to pull her chair back, then offered his hand. "Let's get the
kids," he said, hoping she'd think the hand-holding was merely for the
sake of the Tiers dinner crowd. "If they're loaded up on sugar, they
have no business remaining in that kitchen."

Zuzu took his hand and followed him.

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The kids were standing around one of the salad prep stations, giggling
as Jenny showed them how to clean and prepare kale. When he and Zuzu
approached, Jenny turned to hug Zuzu. Kyle watched as the entire crew
circled around Zuzu, chattering about their favorite items in tonight's
dessert sampling.

He realized what was happening to everyone else in his world—his dad,
the kids, perhaps even his mom and Jenny. They were all falling in love
with Zuzu.

It had been so long since he'd started with Beth—practically a lifetime
ago. He'd been seventeen, just a kid. He remembered liking her blond
good looks, her easy gracefulness. He'd liked knowing that his friends
thought she was cool. So he'd asked her out to a basketball game for
that first date, and they'd never found cause to stop dating.

These days, he didn't even know the correct terminology. Did people date
anymore? He'd heard the term hook up, but he wasn't sure exactly what it
meant.

He'd also forgotten how to recognize the signs.

Was he falling in love with Zuzu?

He liked her hair—or at least the thought of it falling to her waist. He
liked the expressions that passed through those deep brown eyes, and
that sweet giggle.

Her worry about her hips earlier was unnecessary, but he'd even liked
that worry. It indicated that she was down to earth, despite her job and
her hair and all the other little things that would suggest otherwise.

Her petite but luscious body entered his thoughts constantly these days,
whether he was in the shower or in the middle of a business meeting.

He also liked the tone she used with his dad, the way she treated his
kids, her talent for listening hard before she

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reacted. If this was how it felt when a grown man fell in love, then he
was in trouble.

Zuzu was a remarkable woman who'd been hurt by almost everyone in her
past. He had no intention of joining that particular crowd.

Kyle reminded himself: he needed to keep careful control over everything
from here on out until he and Zuzu staged their big breakup.

Including his own, rapidly melting heart.

140


At five forty-five on New Year's Eve, Kyle pulled into his driveway and
felt grateful that for once he was home before dark. His corporate
employees had spent most of the afternoon in the company break room,
eating catered food and trading jokes. Most of them had headed home
early.

When Kyle had looked at the clock at four and realized that the offices
were quiet, he'd felt that had been a greater gift than the miscellany
of beautifully packaged wines, cookies and candies he'd collected on his
office desk last week. He hadn't even needed to check in with his mother
tonight. She and his dad were in Amarillo, visiting one of his mother's
cousins for the holidays. So Kyle had locked the corporate offices at
five o'clock, eager to get home.

It would be just him and the kids tonight. His daughters had rented
about twelve hours' worth of movies and they'd bought sacks full of junk
food. Kyle would check in with them from time to time, but he planned to
allow the new year to simply tiptoe into his life.

As he parked in the garage, Kyle noted the absence of Zuzu's little car
in the far stall. He smiled, recognizing the parallel to Thanksgiving
eve. After pulling his briefcase from the passenger seat, Kyle headed
inside.

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He inhaled deeply as he entered the kitchen. Nothing burning here. The
stovetop was clean, and the silence of the house was both pleasant and
expected. Zuzu had the girls with her. They'd planned to go to one of
the mall salons to get their hair and nails done this afternoon.

She'd definitely connected with them.

Kyle crossed the family room on his way to his study, paused long enough
to admire the tall Fraser fir in its spot next to the window. The
collection of handmade ornaments, created by his daughters in scores of
school classrooms and lovingly preserved by Beth, looked good mixed with
the new silver and blue decorations.

Beth had always used red and gold Christmas balls. And for the two
previous years, he and the girls had put those red and gold ornaments on
the tree along with the handmade ones, and then they'd spent their
entire holiday thinking about Beth. As they should have done.

But this year, Kyle was glad they'd made the one concession to change.
To him, it meant their spirits were healing. They honored Beth by
following so many traditions she'd started, and yet they showed their
faith in the future by creating new ones.

He and the girls had had a good Christmas—their best in three years.
They'd done everything from decorating the tree to going out to a
Christmas Eve church service.

The holiday had been normal. Happy.

Zuzu's inclusion in most of the activities had even felt right. She'd
resisted every invitation, of course, but her arguments had been met
with the tough, slightly skewed logic of three young ladies who believed
she would be joining their family soon.

Kyle had managed to avoid spending time alone with her, so only his
sleep schedule had been disturbed.

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Thoughts of that long hair moving against luscious hips had begun waking
him up every night. Even that deep ache would pass in time, though. He
knew it would.

This next week would be Zuzu's first opportunity to escape his family in
a while. He and the girls were headed to Kansas City tomorrow for a
three-day stay—a trip that had become an annual tradition.

The first year after Beth's death, Kyle had taken his daughters with him
in an attempt to make up for their dismal Christmas. One of Harper's
bigger restaurants was in Kansas City, and Kyle needed to make
occasional visits to check in with staff and conduct business meetings.

That first year, the girls had all loafed around the hotel room,
watching television and wishing they were home. Last year, they'd tried
again and things had gone better. They'd been able to talk about Beth
and laugh at a few memories.

This year, they'd voted to make the journey again, but only after Kyle
had vetoed some harebrained plan they had made to go skiing,
unchaperoned, with a bunch of kids from school who were planning to just
hop on a bus and head westward to Boulder.

What could those parents be thinking?

Kyle had a few meetings scheduled, but the kids could swim at the pool
or shop when he was busy. They should have fun.

Now he left his briefcase on his study desk and wandered back out into
the house. The place was quiet without the girls, but it was a different
quiet. A lonely quiet that Kyle wanted to ease with activity.

He went to the front door and opened it to grab the mail from the box,
and when he closed it Bonnie came trotting down the stairs—if you could
call that a trot. "Hi, girl, just me," he said. "The man who toils for
your kibble."

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The dog's ears, which had been perked up about as much as a basset's
ears would perk, deflated, She groaned insultingly and wandered into the
kitchen. The loud oomph Kyle heard a second later meant that she'd
flopped down near the garage door to wait.

Bonnie-the-one-woman-dog had once been Beth's sidekick. She must have a
thing for blondes, because now she was Chelsea's, and she didn't appear
to find anyone else worth her devotion.

Kyle left the mail in his study and crossed to his bedroom. Here he
pulled a big suitcase off the top shelf of the closet to pack. Just when
he was folding a second pair of jeans into his bag, he heard Bonnie's
soulful wail. The kids must have gotten home. \

Kyle went out to greet them. His daughters came bounding into the
kitchen, immediately adding comfortable commotion to the house with
their kicked-off shoes, dropped bags and unrestrained chatter.

Their hair had been trimmed. Kyle studied them, preparing to comment,
when Zuzu entered behind them. She was, by far, the biggest surprise.
Her hair was down, but styled. "Wow, what did you do?" he asked, knowing
his reaction must look silly.

She smiled, depositing a couple of shopping bags on the middle of the
table. "Just a trim and dye," she said. "I was tired of pink."

"Wow."

"Doesn't she look good?" Sydney asked.

"Your hair is one normal color," Kyle said stupidly.

Zuzu fluffed her hair. "It's my natural color."

"It's auburn," he said, even more stupidly. When he started envisioning
pink nipples peeking from between the strands, he closed his eyes and
groaned, right out loud.

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Everyone female in the room giggled.

He opened his eyes. No one could have known what he was thinking, and he
didn't need to envision Zuzu naked to find her sexy. That shade made her
eyes glow like sherry in the sun. "It works for you," he said.

The girls started flitting around, dropping coats over chair backs and
practically bubbling with a happy contentment that they were feeling
often these days.

He turned his attention to them. "And what did you have done?" he asked
the first daughter he saw, who happened to be Chelsea.

"I had my bangs cut, see?" Chelsea said, also fluffing. Her blond hair
was neater and framed her pretty features. And Alex and Sydney's wild
brunette curls had been subdued with layers.

"You're beautiful," he said. "I'm glad you had fun."

"Well, we wanted to look, like, really good for the trip," Alex said.
"Zuzu, we're going to have a blast! We swim at the hotel, eat every meal
out and shop the after-holiday sales. You'll love it."

Kyle realized then that they expected Zuzu to be coming along with them.

On the trip.

To Kansas City.

Where they'd stay in a single suite at the hotel.

He'd have a room with a king-size bed; his daughters would have a room
with two fulls. They'd always rented one of these suites. They were big,
with whirlpool tubs, kitchenettes and living rooms.

They also had lockable doors between the rooms and thick walls, built
for the acoustical privacy of guests willing to pay extra for such
things.

Yikes! His libido was roaring awake at the thought of

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Zuzu of the luscious hair and perfect hips—smack in the middle of one of
those king-size beds.

He couldn't be expected to sleep beside her again.

"Zuzu's not coming, girls," he said.

"Why not?" Sydney asked, frowning.

"Well..."

Why not? Why not?

Kyle couldn't summon a single damn excuse. His daughters had spent the
day with Zuzu. If he lied, he could be easily caught. He had no idea
what they'd talked about under those hair dryers. Or even if women
really sat under the confounded things and talked at all.

Why wasn't Zuzu talking?

He glanced at her, and saw panic. "Well, because she has other plans,"
he said in what he hoped was a calm voice.

"Zuzu's mom died, she doesn't see her dad and her favorite foster mom
went back to China," Chelsea said. "You both told us she was taking time
off her other jobs to spend time with us during our school break, so she
doesn't have plans this week. Do you, Zuzu?"

"Well, no. That's not right," Zuzu said. "I do have plans."

"To do what?" Alex asked.

"To, um..." Zuzu floundered for a moment and then she smiled brightly.
"To paint."

"Paint? You mean you're painting your bathroom walls or something?"
Sydney asked, scowling. "On New Year's Day?"

"No, I do watercolor paintings," she said. "I'm working on a still life
in sepia tones—an old saddle and cowboy hat. It's going to be gorgeous."

"Oh, okay," Sydney said.

Then she turned an accusatory stare toward Kyle. "If she doesn't come,
we'll be bored out of our minds on the days you have meetings."

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"We thought you'd want to take us around to things," Alex explained to
Zuzu.

Then she looked at Kyle, too. "Are you saying we can, like, ran through
the mall all day without an adult around? Can we use your credit cards?"

Kyle had considered letting the girls spend some time alone in the mall
while he worked. But he was afraid that when Alex said "run through the
mall," she really meant run through the mall.

And when she said "use the credit cards," she probably meant buying
every single thing she saw that she wanted, and some things she didn't
really want but that were slightly intriguing.

Now he wasn't so sure this trip was a good idea at all.

"The nannies have usually gone with you?" Zuzu asked.

"Yes, but it was their job," Kyle said. "It isn't something I'd ask my
fiancee to do." He paused to glare at the girls. "You can stay home and
paint your saddle."

She tilted her head at him. "Why wouldn't you want me to go?"

"It probably falls under the heading of neglectful behavior. I'll be in
meetings some of the time. You'd get stuck with the kids."

"I'd never feel stuck with your kids," Zuzu said firmly. "I'll be glad
to travel to Kansas City with you."

The next afternoon, Kyle realized that both he and Zuzu had been duped.
He stood in his garage, fuming as he loaded bags in the trunk of the
family-size car he'd rented this morning. Ignoring the wails of Bonnie,
whom he'd already locked in a dog cage and loaded into the back seat so
he could drop her and Alex's guinea pig off at the local animal hotel.

Jenny stood beside him, coolly removing his daughters'

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bags, loading them into her car's trunk and explaining that she was
taking the girls skiing in Colorado.

She'd already rented the condo, his cousin said. She'd bought the lift
tickets and rented the skis.

It was a done deal.

They'd all planned this trip the evening the girls had had their
celebratory dessert feast at Tiers, while he and Zuzu had sat out in the
dining room, alone and unaware.

"Who's overseeing things at Tiers while you and I are both gone?" he
asked Jenny now, yelling over the dog's howling protests.

Jenny started to answer, but he shoved an open palm out between them,
stopping her.

"Chels, take that dog back in the house for a minute," he commanded.

His daughter obeyed, and when the garage was quiet again Jenny calmly
named Mario, one of the restaurant's sous chefs. Mario was a
twenty-two-year restaurant veteran who was entirely capable of handling
things at Tiers. "We're slow after the holidays, anyway," Jenny said.
'This is fine."

"Dad, you shouldn't be mad or arguing or anything," Alex said. "This is
a late Christmas present from Jenny. She'll ski with us the whole time,
and she even said we'd only be able to see our friends in the lodge when
she was with us. It's not like we'll be going to a rave or anything."

Kyle ignored that last comment, hoping his ten-year-old daughter had
simply heard the term rave in passing. "How is this my Christmas
present?" he asked.

"An engaged couple should spend New Year's Day alone together," Chelsea
said as she returned to the garage. He could tell from the choice of
words that Jenny had explained the situation just that delicately.

"This way you guys can kick the weekend up a few

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notches," Sydney said. "You can give yourselves something to remember
later, when the fire isn't burning quite as hot and you need something
sparky again."

She seemed eons more sophisticated than her younger sister until she
grinned, rolled her eyes, looked at her sisters and snorted.

Kyle thought about Zuzu's reaction when he told her. She'd want to stay
home, of course.

He figured the thing to do was to let the kids and Jenny leave, and then
go inside and call Zuzu on the phone. He'd tell her what had happened
and let her off the hook.

They could make up a few stories about their experiences in Kansas City,
but people would probably expect them to be kind of quiet about their
romantic getaway. They were fine.

Zuzu could paint her heart out this weekend.

"Okay. Thanks, girls, Jenny." Kyle hugged them all, then eyed Jenny's
trunk. "And you girls have warm clothes in those bags? Spending money?
Underwear?"

"We do," Chelsea said. "Jenny gave us a list and we triple-checked every
bag."

"No wonder you wanted to pack without any help from me," he said dryly.
"I thought you were just getting more responsible."

"We are," Alex said. "We're, like, responsible with a motive."

Everyone laughed, then his daughters and Jenny piled into her car and
headed off down the street.

He smiled as he watched them leave. His kids would probably be trading
back-seat insults before they'd traveled out of the Kirkwood city
limits. Jenny would get her payback for not telling him about her plans.

But he was also certain that his daughters would be safe

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and that Jenny would have fun. Before she'd gotten so busy with the
restaurant, she'd been athletic. He was glad she'd taken some time off
to ski. She'd always loved it.

After they were out of sight, Kyle brought Bonnie out again, reloaded
her and then glanced at the lone bag in his trunk. He frowned, imagining
some funky bag beside it. Something in purple polka dots, or maybe some
sort of cracked, old-world voodoo bag.

Zuzu's bag.

He'd been looking forward to having Zuzu along on this trip, whether the
hotel suite's connecting door locked or not.

He was tired of pretending he didn't want Zuzu. Hell, he'd wanted her
since the first time he'd seen her. But now that he knew her, his
reasons for that desire seemed much more valid in his mind.

Damn it. This wasn't just about sex with some magical sprite whose soft
skin and one-of-a-kind style made him want to smile and touch and live
again.

It was about Zuzu Clark and Kyle Harper.

Somewhere in the middle of all this pretending, Kyle's feelings had
changed. He respected Zuzu enough to avoid a relationship that was just
about sex and he trusted her to do the same.

He couldn't promise her forever. He'd done that with Beth, and he'd
learned that forever didn't last long enough.

But his feelings for Zuzu were real, and meaningful, and important
enough that he wanted to act on them. He was ready to try.

That thought might scare the bejeebies out of him, but it didn't scare
him enough to stop him from doing exactly what he was about to do now.

Zuzu stood out on the driveway, holding her red train case while Kyle
loaded her bigger bag in the trunk of a huge white rental car. "They're
not coming?"

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"No. They're going to Colorado with Jenny to ski," Kyle said. "They'll
travel home on the fourth, like us. It'll be just the two of us again
this weekend."

He tried to take her case, but she strengthened her grip on the handle.
"If the kids aren't going to Kansas City, then I don't need to go," she
said. "That was the whole idea. Why didn't you tell me your plans had
changed?"

"I just found out." Kyle still clung to half of her case's handle. "I
had loaded the pets to drop them by the kennel on the way here, and then
Jenny showed up to collect the kids. I was as surprised as you are."

"Where were you when they told you?" she asked. "At the end of my
block?"

"No-o-o." His softly spoken answer held a quality of barely contained
patience, but his smile teased. "I was home loading the car."

"So you could have called."

"The pets were in the car, waiting and wailing, so I wanted to get them
to the kennel. Since I was out, anyway, I decided to talk to you in
person," he said.

His expression said everything he had, but added, / wanted to convince
you not to cancel.

He tugged the case out of her hands and deposited it in the trunk, then
slammed the lid.

"You think I'm still coming with you?"

"Are you doing anything else?"

She frowned. They both knew she'd planned to paint pictures on her day
off. And since her bag was now locked in his trunk, they both knew she
had changed those plans.

"Why would you want me to go?" she asked.

"I just think you should come with me," he said, taking her elbow and
leading her around to the car's passenger side. "The chef at Harper's
Uptown has been asking to meet you. Re-

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member, the Kansas City crews believe that we're engaged, too. They've
seen the photographs and read the papers."

Zuzu frowned. "And the web of lies grows bigger and more complicated."

"You used to live in Kansas City," he said, opening the car door. "Don't
you have friends there? What about that fellow you used to date, who is
married now with four or five kids?"

"Three. Jack has toddler twins and a baby. But he moved to the
countryside near Topeka."

"Topeka's only an hour's drive from Kansas City. You could go see them.
I rented this tank of a car for the trip, but I won't need it when I'm
in meetings. And I really don't want to drive all that way alone."

Kyle seemed to be listing any possible excuse, whether it made sense or
not. Zuzu wondered why. So she could put on an act for his colleagues?
Or because he wanted to be alone with her?

She believed that their connection had grown deeper, but she wasn't
sure. Her feelings were certainly stronger, but she didn't know how he
felt—beyond what she sensed. And intuition could be so easily
misconstrued. Maybe she was being fooled again by her own wishful
thinking.

She tethered an imaginary brick to her feet and mentioned the tiny
detail she was most afraid of mentioning right now. "But we'll be alone
together and we're supposed to be avoiding that."

"Uh. Right. We will. But it is a big suite."

His expression was one of innocence and embarrassment, but his words
were cryptic enough to cause Zuzu's mind to stumble over them.

If he wanted her to go, she wanted to go.

So she modified her argument, rather than strengthening it. "Do you
suppose we can handle it?"

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"I can promise you that I won't do anything this weekend that we aren't
in full agreement about."

And with those words, a version of which might very well have been used
by every persuasive swain on every reluctant ladylove in modern history,
Zuzu sank down in the rental car's passenger seat and swung her legs
inside.

Ready to go.

Ready to find out why.

Four hours later, Zuzu had just finished another decadent dessert at
another cloth-covered table at another elegant Harper restaurant, and
she still had no idea why.

They'd barely arrived and carted their suitcases into separate rooms
when Kyle had poked his head in to her open doorway, saying it was time
to dress for dinner. Just before he'd closed the door between them, he'd
warned her to wear something nice. They would be eating at Harper's
Uptown, located on the mezzanine level of the hotel. They would be
sharing a table with a few employees who were excited to meet their
boss's new fiancee.

Zuzu had been glad she'd brought something suitable. She'd showered and
dressed in the midnight-blue cocktail dress she'd bought on a whim right
after she and Kyle had started this fake engagement. She'd put on
perfume and makeup and dried her hair, leaving it down on another whim,
and then she'd entered the suite's living area.

A few minutes later, when Kyle had met her there, he was wearing a
handsome pin-striped suit that matched the color of her dress almost
perfectly.

Once again, his words hadn't fit his expression. His heavy-lidded gaze
had seemed to say, Hey, baby. Let's forget the dinner and stay in
tonight.

But what he'd actually said was, "You look great,

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Zuzu. Watch out for Antoine, the chef here. He's a huge flirt."

Then Kyle had offered her his arm and escorted her silently out to the
elevator, then downstairs to the restaurant.

Architecturally speaking, Harper's Uptown was more conventional than
Tiers. Three-quarter walls separated the dining room into cozier nooks;
each nook contained a small grouping of tables; and each table was
brightened by a shiny black hanging lamp and a vase of colorful cut
flowers.

Harper's Uptown was quite distinguishable from more typical restaurants,
however, by the soft sounds of jazz that floated throughout the dining
area, played by an all-female quartet situated right inside in the
lobby.

The restaurant's success was also evident in the quality of each piece
of china and the patent deliberation given to each menu offering.

Zuzu didn't know how muchjKyle had to do with the day-to-day running of
his restaurants, but she was proud of him. Tiers and Uptown were so
successful, and the greetings he received from employees were so warm
and enthusiastic. Obviously, his staff thought very highly of him.

He'd introduced her as his fiancee, and throughout dinner he'd played
the role well. Zuzu had felt a little deflated that her presence was
only about appearances, but she'd relaxed into the idea. She was certain
that she'd helped convince Chef Antoine and the others that Kyle Harper
had never had a single moment when he didn't know exactly what he was
doing.

"Well, Kyle. We've enjoyed seeing you again," Antoine said, speaking for
himself and the three other management-level employees who had joined
them for dinner. As everyone waited for the waitress to clear their
dessert

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plates, Antoine nodded to the others, indicating without speaking that
it was time to head back to work.

Zuzu smiled as she watched Antoine help the young female sous chef out
of her chair. He was every bit as charming as Kyle had presented him to
be, and yet she'd pictured some strapping young Frenchman rather than
this raw-boned, elderly gentleman who claimed to have a
sixty-nine-year-old bride and twelve grandsons.

Before Antoine left, he leaned down next to Zuzu. "1 hate to leave you
alone with this lucky cuss, but I have a kitchen to oversee." He winked,
then turned and made his way through the tables.

Kyle didn't react. In fact, he didn't speak at all until Antoine had
disappeared into the kitchen. Then he finished his martini in one
swallow. "We should probably leave and open up the table."

Zuzu glanced at Kyle's watch. It was eight-thirty. Too soon to go back
to the hotel room.

As if he'd read her thoughts, Kyle said, "There's a nightclub at the
other end of the lobby. Do you want to go over there for a while? See
what the nightlife's like in the big city?"

Zuzu had never been a fan of nightclubs, but she agreed. Her mother
might have gotten into trouble whenever she'd visited bars, but right
now that huge suite upstairs seemed much more dangerous.

As they left the restaurant and walked across the lobby, Kyle rested his
hand on the small of Zuzu's back. It felt good there.

She felt good. Elegant and sexy and confused, at once. She still wasn't
sure about their relationship status, so even though she was alone with
Kyle she didn't know how to act. She wished he'd give her a clue.

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They entered the club, which was very loud and crowded—not exactly a
place Zuzu would have expected to visit on New Year's night. They
ordered drinks at the bar, then found an empty table right in the middle
of all the action.

Both Zuzu and Kyle sipped their drinks and observed the dance floor for
a minute. A young male singer's voice blared out from the deejay
station, crooning a song about sex. And the couples on the dance floor
were getting into the spirit of the music.

Zuzu shifted around in her chair to face Kyle. "Have you been here
before?" she hollered, hoping to start a conversation that was less
evocative than the music, more sane than the situation.

"I've usually brought the kids along on this trip, so no," he hollered
back, shaking his head. "Loud, isn't it?"

Zuzu smiled and nodded, deciding it was too hard to talk over the noise.
She sipped her wine and tried not to worry about where she was and what
she was doing. And then the music ended, and she found herself staring
at Kyle.

Who was staring at her.

"Do you like to dance?" he asked in the quiet seconds between songs.

"Well, sure, but it's been a while."

The music started again, the new song every bit as suggestive as the
last. "I haven't danced since high school," Kyle shouted, eyeing the
dance floor. He scooted his chair closer to hers, then lowered his voice
to a normal volume. "I don't think I could do what they're doing. At
least, not in public."

"You don't think so?" she asked, chuckling.

"Okay, let's go try it," he said, standing up.

Zuzu gaped at him.

"I just realized I'm sitting here watching a bunch of kids

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Table for Five

and saying I can't do that anymore," he explained. "I feel old. Help me
out. Please!" He held out his hand.

Zuzu laughed again, allowing Kyle to lead her onto the dance floor. As
they began to dance, she tried to keep her thoughts straight. They were
just two friends, dancing together because they had nothing better to
do.

She wasn't surprised to learn that Kyle danced better than he'd let on.
He'd always appeared comfortable with his body. She'd just started to
relax, giggling as Kyle's movements grew more daring with the second
song.

And when that song ended, she and Kyle stood there, waiting through the
brief pause.

Then the deejay put on a slow, romantic song. "Crazy," by the late Patsy
Cline, was one of Zuzu's favorites. It was a song for lovers, though.
And since the bar was full of strangers who wouldn't care if she was
Kyle's fake fiancee or his cousin from Omaha, she expected him to lead
her off the dance floor.

They could listen just as easily from their table.

But Kyle held his hand out, and she slipped between his arms without a
shred of reluctance.

She really wanted to dance to this song.

And with Kyle.

She yielded slightly to decorum by holding herself back a few inches,
putting one hand in Kyle's and the other on his shoulder. Keeping her
position appropriate for a woman dancing with a man who could be her
employer, a friend or a lover.

Keeping her thoughts sane.

Until Kyle slid a warm hand against her back—moving it a hand's width
lower than might be considered proper. Until he pulled their clasped
hands against his chest, holding them so close she could feel his
strong, rapid heartbeat.

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157

Until Kyle looked at her for a moment longer than necessary, his
expression dark.

When he shut his eyes and eased his body next to hers, she felt herself
relax.

During that wonderful, haunting song and the two others that followed,
Kyle made her feel he truly wanted to be right where he was, for no
other reason than to be with her.

For the first time tonight, Zuzu didn't feel a need to know why. Simply
being in Kyle's arms was enough.

When the deejay's voice came over the sound system to announce a break,
Kyle stepped backward. "That was nice."

What an understatement. Zuzu nodded, recognizing Kyle's confusion. She
felt it, too.

Dancing was so much easier, but as the dance floor cleared it wasn't an
option.

She took the hand Kyle offered and followed him to their table. She
waited while he tossed a few bills next to their half-finished drinks,
then walked with him out of the club and through the hotel lobby to the
elevator.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a small group waiting inside to
travel to some other level. Kyle didn't move, and neither did Zuzu. The
bubble of potent, perplexing desire that surrounded them would surely
burst if one of them said a simple hello to a stranger.

So they allowed the doors to close, then Kyle pressed the button again.

His silent decision making might be worrisome or maddening to anyone
else, but Zuzu felt comfortable with it. She knew where he was going,
and she wasn't ready to wrestle words into the experience, either.

She sensed a connection to Kyle. She wanted to see where it would lead,
but she didn't want to taint the expe-

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rience with promises that were spoken too soon. To Zuzu, Kyle's silence
was honorable and exactly right.

Now just his wanting her was enough.

When the elevator traveled back to their level and the doors opened and
they both saw that the car was empty, they stepped inside together.
After the doors closed, he pushed the button for the eighth floor. The
level of their suite.

"Is this all right?" he asked quietly.

She answered simply.

"Yes."

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Kyle frowned as the elevator doors opened, and then he held back a
sneeze. All at once, his mind was crammed with questions.

All because Zuzu had said yes.

Like, should he offer her a drink when they got inside the hotel room?
Zuzu didn't drink much, but she had ordered wine at the club and she
hadn't finished it. Maybe she'd like something now—there was a portable
bar in the kitchenette.

There was also a clock radio on iach of the bedroom night-stands. Should
he turn on some music and soft lights and sit with her on the sofa for a
while? To talk or kiss or whatever?

Or should he take her yes as an agreement to bypass all seduction
strategies and head straight for the bedroom?

And when, exactly, did a man introduce a condom into the situation? Was
that before or after he and his lady got naked?

He'd stopped using condoms in the early eighties, when he and Beth had
gotten married. Times had certainly changed since then, and he was
hckribly unacquainted with current trends in romance protocol. He'd been
all of eighteen when he married, and he'd hardly been an expert then.

This was all new. Zuzu was new.

And that felt, suddenly, very strange.

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Kyle walked out of the elevator and into the hallway, feeling her
presence beside him. She was very quiet, her footsteps steady, her scent
spicy and exotic. Erotic.

Oh, he wanted her all right. In his mind, he was running to the suite
door, slamming it open, tugging her through and tearing off that little
blue dress to take her, right there in the doorway.

But they weren't to that point in their relationship. At the very least,
they should talk first, right? Years of marriage had taught Kyle that
women loved conversation. They wanted to understand the meaning behind a
man's actions.

Even though he and Zuzu seemed to be on the same page, he couldn't
assume that she'd known what he'd meant.

Is this all right? he'd asked, as if he was the geek asking the
cheerleader whether he could sit at the opposite end of her lunchroom
table.

Kyle didn't think he'd ever found words so difficult. He'd stumbled his
way through the entire evening. Hell, he'd screwed up most things on
this trip. During the two-hour drive between Kirkwood and Kansas City,
he'd intended to tell Zuzu that this weekend wouldn't be a total
pretense on his side.

But they'd started discussing their travels. How they both loved
Boulder, especially in the summer. How they liked Oahu, but preferred
Kauai. How they wanted, someday, to visit the castles in Europe.

Their conversation had been so long and so comfortable and so absorbing
that it had seemed to shoot the rental car from the outskirts of
Kirkwood to downtown Kansas City in minutes. Kyle remembered entering
traffic on 1-70, but then the next thing he knew, they were at the
hotel.

Zuzu of the luscious hair and hips had an amazing ability to make him
feel that the present was vitally important.

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161

This moment. This conversation.

Him.

So he'd never confessed that he cared about her.

He'd planned to tell her when they met in the suite's living room to go
out to dinner. He'd even rehearsed the conversation in the shower. He'd
memorized the perfect words, until he'd seen her in that dress. All
rational thought had fled his mind then, and he'd only been able to
think about how much fun it would be to grab the little crystal pull and
tug it down.

Expose her skin. Kiss her.

Show her.

Maybe that was his problem. He wanted to show her how he felt. Again in
the bar and in the elevator, he'd had opportunities to admit his
feelings. But he hadn't. He couldn't figure out how to word things.

Now Kyle jammed the key card in the door, then cursed when he dropped
the damn thing at his feet. He picked it up and shoved it into the slot,
feeling as crazy as the song but not nearly as eloquent. He might be in
a hurry to get inside, but he was also reluctant. He still had no idea
what to say.

He finally got the door open, and turned to look at Zuzu. She smiled,
nudging him inside. She flicked on the hallway light. She stretched her
arms up around his neck.

Her kiss wasn't shy or speculative.

It was hot.

That soft, sweet mouth turned completely sensual. Her lips parted, her
teeth nipped, her tongue met his with eager passion.

Any thoughts of talk vanished beneath the talents of that bewitching
mouth.

"Hey, shut the door," she said, chuckling as she grabbed his tie.

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He kicked the door shut, and realized she was tugging on his tie,
forcing him to follow her. Now.

She led him right past the sofa, around the corner of the portable bar
and, after flicking on the bedroom light, beyond both bedside radios.
She led him straight to that king-size bed, then onto it.

She'd made the decisions for him—lights were okay, but no drinks, no
music and no talking about things.

Or at least, not yet.

The woman had a mind of her own.

Kyle was accustomed to leading, but he recognized when it was wiser to
follow. Right now, he was having a heck of a lot of fun just following
where Zuzu led. As usual, she was full of surprises.

When he thought he should kiss her lips for a few minutes longer, she
took off her shoes and stockings and made him decide, instead, to spend
long minutes exploring a spot of impossibly soft skin behind her knees.

When he thought he should get more naked, she nibbled his ear and made
him forget until she took over the tasks of unbuttoning his shirt.
Unfastening his belt. Removing his shoes and socks.

When he thought his erection had grown too hard and intrusive to press
against her supple thighs, he tried to ease his body away from hers. But
she followed him, nestling her limbs around him to fit. Heat to heat.
Softness to hardness.

Then she started kissing him again, her lingering, gently sucking lips
so sensual they were almost enough to satisfy him completely. And not
anywhere close to enough.

Even though they weren't making the same choices at any particular
moment in time, everything Zuzu did was perfect.

Jeez, it had been so long for him.

She tossed his shirt to the side, then wriggled out of a

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163

pair of pale pink panties. When she straddled his body, he thought he
was going to die.

He caressed her raw flesh, nearly losing his mind when he felt her wet
readiness. He touched her gently for a minute, until she moaned. Then he
explored with glad expertise. With purposeful mastery. With pleasure. He
couldn't wait.

And yet, she made him believe that he could.

She put her mouth against his chest and kissed her way around it as he
moved his fingers inside her. She whispered against his skin. Things
like, Feels good and Yes and / like that.

She wasn't having any trouble with words, but he barely heard them. Her
whispery, tickly, insanely erotic breath combined with the feel of that
long hair brushing against him and made him throb with need.

He tried to keep control, moving his attention upward and using his
teeth to tug at the tiny crystal zipper pull between her breasts. He
tugged it down, chuckling playfully even though his intent was serious.

He wanted her all the way naked.

She laughed, too. "Actually, that's only a decoration," she said. "The
dress just slips off."

He sobered, moving a finger beneath the top blue band, sliding it away
from her body. Allowing her to slip her arms through. Then she wiggled
until he could ease the dress down, exposing breasts that were high and
full and perfect.

He left her dress around her hips, wanting to enjoy just this for a
while. And she let him look his fill. He moved his thumbs around her
nipples, then he lifted up to lick them. To suckle them.

Zuzu arched her back, encouraging more. She ran her hands along his
shoulders and down, around to his arousal. She caressed him through the
fabric, then unzipped his

164


pants, removed his belt. She eased her hand next to his skin, grasping
him. "You're so beautiful," she whispered.

She slid her fingers against him, whispered more words of adoration.
Encouraged him to love her body with his lips, fingers and tongue until
he knew exactly what to do.

And how. And when.

He moved quickly on the bed, slipping out of his pants and boxers and
taking care of protection at exactly the right moment.

Then he removed her dress entirely and rolled back on top of her. After
a long, heartfelt kiss, he closed his eyes and took command.

But after he'd pushed himself inside her and had felt her tight, wet
heat, he opened his eyes again, confused. This wasn't what he'd
expected.

The shimmer in Zuzu's eyes matched the feeling in his. He leaned down
and kissed her, looking into her eyes. Hoping to tell her with his
expression that this moment meant a lot to him, even if he hadn't said
it.

Then he moved inside her. At first slowly, deliciously, and then with a
rhythm that she matched, stroke for stroke. He kept his eyes open to
watch her pale hips rock in perfect synchrony with his.

She lifted when he lifted; she pushed when he pushed. Increasing the
friction and the wonder and the joy of the whole experience.

She was crazy. Sweet. Perfect.

When he heard her cries moments later, he drove himself to an eerily
intense abandon, reaching a height he'd never felt before.

And then he lay beside Zuzu, catching his breath, dropping a kiss
against her shoulder, her neck, her cheek. Wondering how he could have
felt such completion with Zuzu.

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He had a knowledge of her that hadn't taken years to learn. He sensed a
deep connection that didn't need a promise about tomorrow.

This was why he hadn't been able to talk to Zuzu about his feelings.

Because they were more than he'd expected.

She was more.

"Wake up, Zooz. I have a meeting in an hour and a half."

Zuzu opened her eyes just long enough to run a gaze past Kyle and then
the bedside clock. She closed them again immediately. The dim light in
the room didn't bother her eyes, but Kyle's expression seemed awfully
bright. It was seven-thirty, and he was sitting at the edge of the bed,
grinning at her. She'd seen his teeth.

After less than three hours of sleep, he was wide awake and chipper. And
what was that he'd called her? Zooz? Her mother had called her Suz
sometimes, or Sue-Sue when she was really happy. But Kyle couldn't know
that.

Cripes. She needed to wake up. No one had called her any derivative of
her given name for several years, ever since her mother had died. Hardly
anyone knew she hadn't been named Zuzu at birth. She rolled to her side,
facing away from Kyle, and mumbled something evasive, hoping he would
think she was sleeping and give up.

But he put a hand on her hip and shook gently. "Zuzu?"

She didn't move.

He ran an index finger down her backbone, removing the sheet inch by
inch, exposing her naked flesh to the cool air. "Zuzu, are you awake?"

She couldn't ignore that. Especially when his finger passed the small of
her back.

Opening her eyes, she knocked away his hand, flipped

166


onto her back and yanked the sheet up to her chin. "I am now," she said,
scowling at him.

His laugh was growly. Sexy. "Sorry. I was under the impression that you
were an early riser, like me," he said.

"Why would you think that?"

"You take yoga classes before work." He shrugged, calling Zuzu's
attention to the crisp shirt and charcoal pants he wore. As her eyes
adjusted to the light, she could also see his amused smile. His crinkled
eyes. The incredible softness in his expression.

Oh, man. After last night, that expression was worse than his too early,
too energetic smile.

Still, he was very charming. "I'm an early riser when I have had some
sleep," she said, unable to resist grinning back at him.

His chuckle came out in a musical, happy sound that Zuzu knew would
replay in her mind forever. "We were awake for a while," he admitted.
"What time was it, that last time?" he asked. "Did you notice?"

"Four, I think," she said. She neglected to mention that she hadn't
checked the clock after the first second or two, and that that last time
had been something of a marathon.

"Sorry," he said, grinning in a devilishly handsome way. "Guess I was
having too much fun."

She'd had fun, too.

Wild, sweet, alarmingly momentous fun.

"I've already showered," he said, standing up. "If you want one, go
ahead. Hurry, though. I'd like to take you to Uptown's brunch. It's
first-rate and I'm famished." His voice dropped. "Also, I want to talk
to you before I head off to my meeting. I'll be free this afternoon if
you'd rather wait." He smiled slightly as he stood over the bed,
watching her.

He might be asking her if she'd like to go to brunch with

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167

him, but his words and actions made it clear that he wished her to go.
How could she refuse?

"Sure," she said, holding the covers to her chest and adjusting the
pillow so she could sit. "I'll get up."

"Great," he said. But he kept ogling her.

So she kept looking at him. She wasn't coming out from under the covers
with him right there watching her.

"Or, I could crawl back into bed with you," he said, eyeing a few
obvious lumps under the covers.

Oh, no. Now he was looking at her hair again. After last night, Zuzu
realized Kyle had some kind of hair fetish. He'd spent a lot of time
maneuvering her loose strands over her shoulders, then he'd fanned her
hair out onto a pillow. A few times, he'd even wrapped his fists in it.
Her hair had seemed to get him going, no matter what he'd done with it.

He'd liked her hips, too. She could tell. And, well, he'd liked about
everything.

As had she.

The man had a wild imagination. His reserves of sexual energy should
have been spent after the night they'd had.

But maybe they weren't.

If they got started again, he might not make it to his meeting. His
employees and colleagues might be left waiting in some hotel meeting
room, talking about where he might be and what he might be doing.

With her. The woman they believed to be his fiancee, but whom he was
supposed to be breaking up with in a little over a month. Men on the
verge of a breakup did not neglect their business duties to stay in bed
and have sex with their fiancees—real or fake. Zuzu was sure of it.

She wouldn't have that on her head.

She gripped the sheet. "No, I'm up. I want a shower now," she said
abruptly. Insistently. "And I'm famished. I

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hope Uptown has eggs Benedict. That's my favorite. See you later.
Goodbye."

Again, he didn't stir and neither did she.

Her nakedness had felt natural and right last night. In fact, Zuzu was
generally pretty comfortable with her body.

She wasn't at all comfortable now.

Because of last night.

Because of all she'd done with Kyle, and the number of times they'd done
what they'd done.

Because of the tender expression on Kyle's face now.

She felt exposed.

Kyle, dear man, recognized her dilemma. He turned around to face the
doorway. "I won't look. Go ahead."

"Thanks." She got out of bed and frowned, glancing around on the floor.
Her clothes should be somewhere near the bed, but they weren't. "Urn,
Kyle?"

"Yes?" He rocked on his heels. Men did that, didn't they, when they were
enjoying themselves at someone else's expense?

Zuzu crawled back into bed and lifted the blankets over her nakedness.
"Where are my clothes?"

He stopped rocking. "Oh. I tripped over them this morning, so I folded
them and left them with your other things."

"My other things?"

"In the other bedroom. Guess I wasn't thinking. Just picking up the way
I pick up after the girls."

The thought of Kyle folding her underwear and carrying them across the
suite made Zuzu blush, but she sighed deeply and said, "In the other
room. Okay. Well. Then I need to go past you, so your turning away won't
work. You'll have to leave."

He rocked on his heels again, just once. "You're in my room, though.
What if I close my eyes?"

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169

"What if you go into that bathroom right now?" Zuzu said, pointing to
the bathroom adjacent to Kyle's bedroom. "And close the door behind you.
I want to hear the latch click."

He swiveled around, grinning wickedly, and walked with his eyes closed
and his hands out, feeling his way to the bathroom. While en route, he
mumbled comments about the wonders he'd seen, touched and tasted last
night.

After he'd closed the bathroom door, he hollered, "Okay! It clicked!
You're safe!"

Zuzu sprinted out of Kyle's room, through the communal living area and
into the second bedroom.

She took her time in the shower. There was no need to hurry. No need to
feel this deep pleasure and anticipation, either. They'd had sex.

Warm, tender, mild-blowing, crazy sex.

That was all.

Kyle might be very attracted to her, but in reality he was merely using
her to convince his clients and colleagues that he was involved with the
woman he happened to kiss in his restaurant to make his sick dad happy.

The next few days would be tricky. Kyle had been so quiet yesterday. A
man like Kyle, who felt things deeply and who'd been through such a
tough time losing his wife and dealing with his dad's illness, would be
quiet.

At breakfast, Zuzu would communicate to Kyle that it was okay. She was
cool with what had happened last night, and she didn't require
explanations.

She'd tell him she was an adult woman who'd decided long ago that she
was destined for single life, so of course she'd been in this type of
situation before.

That wasn't true. Zuzu had never been this reckless, even when she was a
teenager.

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Kyle didn't have to know that.

Explanations would probably hurt both of them more than they'd help. He
might say that she'd reminded him that he was still young and alive, and
that Beth wouldn't have wanted him to remain celibate. Maybe he'd thank
Zuzu for putting him on a path to healing.

That would be nice—unless he added a disclaimer. That she wasn't his
type; but thanks anyway, for being his transitional woman.

Or maybe he'd confess that he was human. He still loved Beth, but
thought Zuzu was sexy so he'd let loose. Maybe he'd say that some aspect
of Zuzu reminded him of Beth. Her chin or her hips or her feet. Maybe
he'd allude to the fact that he'd imagined Beth there in bed with him.

God. Surely not.

Zuzu had heard some pretty mean things come out of men's mouths when
she'd lived with her mother, but she didn't think Kyle would say such a
thing.

Despite the comforting heat of her shower, Zuzu shuddered.

Or, Kyle could even say that he liked her. Zuzu. For herself. For this
moment. That would be amazingly sweet.

Then she might be led to confess that she was totally attracted to him
and respected him more than she'd respected any other man in her
lifetime.

Women shared their stories, didn't they, after they'd slept with a man?

Zuzu had seen her mother do that countless times with her boyfriends. If
the men had stayed around for longer than two nights, her mother had
become a chatterbox. As Zuzu had gotten older, her mother's penchant for
morning confessions had seemed like a ploy to keep the men around.
Emotional blackmail, perhaps.

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171

Zuzu believed that a man should stay because he wanted to stay and for
no other reason. She told only what she needed to tell. Even with
Kyle—who came closest to being the kind of man she could trust—she
couldn't expose those secrets. Zuzu preferred to leave her stories in
the past. She didn't need explanations. She didn't want to reciprocate.

She couldn't open up any more than she had.

Zuzu came out of the shower and heard the TV news blaring from the
living-room area. She'd left the connecting door open. Tiptoeing across,
she nudged it closed with her foot. Then she located her soft-sided bag
and slipped into a bra and panties before studying her clothes options.

Usually, she simply pulled out some crazy, colorful combination that
might bring a smile to someone's face and that suited her life and
people's perception of her. Today, the choice had to be more serious.
She might be sharing breakfast with only Kyle, or she might be sharing
it with him and some of his colleagues.

She wished she'd brought her white suit. Everything she'd brought seemed
too flashy. Foolish as it was, she wanted Kyle to be proud of her.
During his meeting today, she'd go out into the mall and shop for a
conservative outfit to match her cautious mood. For now, she'd pair her
long red skirt with a white T-shirt.

After dressing, Zuzu frowned into the mirror as she pulled her hair into
a high ponytail that she twirled into an intricate arrangement of loops.
After applying makeup with a light hand, she slipped into her shoes and
walked out. Ready to go.

"You've got fancy hair again," Kyle said, grinning as he clicked off the
TV.

Zuzu smiled, embarrassed at the flood of thoughts that ran through her
mind about Kyle and her hair.

Kyle stood up, offering her an elbow, and then escorted

172


her out of the room. And for the next hour, he sat across from Zuzu at a
secluded table for two and talked her ear off. He told her about many
things, ranging from Sydney's awful fifth-grade teacher to his theories
about spending. He even told her about his wedding day. Not just the
wheres and whens, but also the thoughts he'd had. That at eighteen, he
might have been too young. That maybe he'd rather have lived in an
off-campus apartment, rather than the married students' dorm. That
Beth's habits of cracking her knuckles and answering his questions
before he'd fully stated them had already started bothering him.

"Later," Kyle said now, "I decided that I really loved Beth. We were
good together most of the time, and most married couples must face
problems."

Zuzu nodded politely.

"I think I always recognized that I had the potential to love another
woman," he said. "When Beth died, I forgot for a while. But now I know
it's true."

Zuzu washed down her toast with a gulp of juice. "Well, people heal,"
she stated quickly, in what she hoped was a concluding tone. "I'm glad
you feel better now."

"Thanks."

Kyle looked as though he was going to continue, so Zuzu grasped his
wrist and turned it toward her to check the time. "Oh, no! It's already
eight-fifteen. Let's eat so you can make your meeting."

"I'm fine. The meeting is down the hall."

Despite Kyle's lack of concern, Zuzu pretended an intense interest in
her breakfast. The specially prepared serving of eggs Benedict was
divine—made by Antoine himself. However, except for the orange juice,
which she appeared to be gulping down in buckets, Zuzu hadn't tasted
anything after the first few bites.

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173

After Kyle's jump from silent to talkative.

Kyle devoured a huge plateful of pastries, eggs and sausages, and also
downed enough coffee to keep even the most devoted caffeine junkie going
for hours.

But he kept on talking.

He chronicled the sometimes heartbreaking and sometimes comical events
that had made him and his mother realize that Eddie was seriously ill
and needed medical attention for his strange new habits.

Zuzu might have thought Kyle's chatter was a side effect of nervousness,
except he didn't seem nervous. He wasn't even sneezing.

He didn't seem to be exposing his vulnerabilities to hold her attention,
either. He seemed happy and relaxed. As if he meant what he said and
really wanted to say it.

She relaxed, too, comfortable in this role. She'd spent her entire adult
life offering comfort to people. This was no different from any other
time.

But after the dishes had been cleared, Kyle waved the young waiter away,
telling him they wanted more coffee and juice. That they weren't ready
to leave.

Then he leaned across the table and spoke to Zuzu in a voice that was
low and sexy. "Last night was special to me, Zuzu. I think I can fall in
love again."

Zuzu froze, looking at him. She was glad he felt better. He was far too
wonderful to give up on love at thirty-five. And yet, his words hurt.
He'd never wind up with her. Men like Kyle Harper married Beths. Not
Zuzus.

She should stop his confession before the pain went any deeper, but she
wished to hear. Which one was she? The transitional woman or the
reminder? Despite the inherent pain in each, Zuzu wanted to know.

"Although we said we weren't right for each other, I feel

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something for you," he said. "Something unexpected and yet...nice."

That unexpectedly nice feeling was no surprise to Zuzu. She'd been half
in love with Kyle since the day she'd met him, and last night hadn't
helped at all.

Zuzu fingered the ring on her left hand, suddenly worried about their
planned public breakup in a month. These feelings, which were apparently
mutual, would certainly make the breakup tough.

Kyle frowned, watching her hand movements. "I know it's early for that,"
he said. "I'm not suggesting that we make the engagement real, but I
have fun with you. I think we should make the relationship real."

Oh, Lord. She was his transitional woman.

175


"You're doing it again," Jenny said, smiling as she stood next to Kyle
at his kitchen counter and drizzled olive oil over a panful of
asparagus. Except for Bonnie, who was snoozing near the back door, he
and his cousin were alone in the house.

"Doing what?"

"Whistling.. .and scowling."

Kyle scowled harder. He had been doing it again. For the fifth or sixth
time since he and his cousin had started working on the menu for this
evening's dinner party, she had caught him humming the tune to "Crazy."

What Jenny didn't know was that he'd sung the words this morning in the
shower and that he'd whistled the notes all day at work. He'd probably
been making some godawful face every time.

He'd never liked country music much, but he liked that song. He'd liked
holding Zuzu on the dance floor, allowing the dance to take the form of
a confession about how he felt. He'd liked how sure he'd felt, in that
moment, that holding Zuzu was right.

He didn't like what had happened after their return home. They hadn't
broken up, but they'd definitely backed

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up. Sometimes he felt like a fool for pinning so many hopes to their
future as a couple, and for talking so damned much.

He'd spilled his guts to Zuzu, but that wasn't his problem. He was
pretty sure he could trust her to deal with his confessions fairly.

His problem was guilt. At home—here—he kept getting pummeled by memories
of Beth. She'd painted the fish motif, right here on the kitchen
cabinets. She'd chosen the pattern for the eight settings of china that
Jenny had placed around the dining-room table just minutes ago. She'd
selected and arranged and updated every piece of furniture. Every
picture and washcloth and candle.

He'd been the breadwinner.

Beth had taken care of the home and kids. She'd loved this house, their
daughters, his family and him.

So well, for so long.

The surprising intensity of his feelings for Zuzu made Kyle feel that
he'd cheated on Beth. That didn't make sense, he rationalized, but
falling in love wasn't as easy as it might have seemed from the oasis of
that Kansas City hotel suite.

For now, Kyle concentrated harder on peeling potatoes. He and his cousin
had organized a small dinner party for a couple of business associates
who traveled from their farm in Wamego twice a year to visit and talk
business.

Six years ago, Kyle had taken to inviting Frank and Roger home for
dinner. That first year, he'd done it because Beth had suggested it.
Later, inviting them home had become a habit—a friendly part of their
business relationship. This time, it was also an opportunity.

Zuzu was also attending this party, and by the end of the evening Kyle
intended to talk to her alone. He recognized the source of his own
confusion, but he didn't know why Zuzu was balking.

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111

He wanted to find out.

Kyle and Jenny had both left work at three this afternoon, and by now
they had pots simmering on two burners and ingredients spread out over
Kyle's entire kitchen.

When Jenny snickered, Kyle realized he was whistling that song. He
swore, tossing a half-peeled potato into the pot of water on the stove.
He had plenty to do to help his cousin this afternoon, and here he was,
whistling.

That confounded song was haunting him. That song had haunted him for
fifteen days straight.

Those three days in Kansas City haunted him. He'd never have believed
they'd become fuel for memories so soon into his relationship with Zuzu,
but since they'd been back, things had been different.

It wasn't only him, either.

Zuzu was different, too.

They were still pretending an engagement for the benefit of his family
and the public. Privately, they were treating each other as if they were
involved—sort of.

They had the kind of relationship Kyle hoped his daughters had with the
boys they liked. He and Zuzu talked sometimes, but mostly about trivial
subjects like the weather forecast or whether they should rent a musical
or an action flick to watch with the girls on Friday night.

He and Zuzu shared hugs and simple kisses, but that was as far as any
physical display went. He saw her after work, talked to her for a few
minutes and watched her leave.

She returned to her separate life and her separate choices until the
next day, when he returned from work to start the cycle again.

Even though they'd spent countless hours making love over those long
three days in Kansas City, they weren't sleeping together now. Kyle
recognized that he

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and Zuzu were dealing with some complicated emotions, and also that
opportunities for privacy were rare here at home, but he wasn't
particularly comforted by those excuses.

Hence, his constant and somewhat painful replaying of those three wild
days and nights.

After rinsing the last potato, Kyle plunked it into the boiling water
and wiped his hands. "Need help with that?" he asked Jenny, who was
slicing a crusty loaf of just-baked sourdough bread.

"No. But you can whistle if you want."

"Very funny."

Jenny was teasing him because she knew his songs weren't signs of
contentment. His was a distracted whistle. She recognized that he was
upset, and she wanted information he wasn't offering.

Jenny had always been a trustworthy friend, but if he told her he was
frustrated by the changes in Zuzu, she might ask too many questions.

After all, he was supposed to have become engaged to Zuzu weeks before
the Kansas City trip. That was supposed to have been a lovers' getaway,
and it had been, but not for an established couple. An engaged man
wouldn't be this preoccupied. He'd be settling into the relationship,
and he'd keep any quarrels with his fiancee to himself.

So Kyle wasn't talking, even though he'd love Jenny's advice. He was the
one who'd insisted that he and Zuzu keep the pretense to themselves, so he would honor that or die trying. He frowned, quietly studying the grouping of menu cards Jenny had left on the countertop. He pulled a handful of chives from a bag and started chopping.

Despite their fake engagement, Zuzu had made it clear that she didn't
want his daughters to discover her half-

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naked and wandering around their kitchen in the mornings. That night at
the cabin was an exception, she insisted, because they had been snowed in. They couldn't continue the pattern. He'd never had occasion to think about how to handle a lover's visit with kids in the house, but he happened to agree with her on that issue.

Anyway, he'd have preferred to sleep with her at her apartment, for
obvious reasons. But since he was solely responsible for the girls, he couldn't leave them all night to go hop into Zuzu's bed.

So they couldn't sleep together. Couldn't even seem to find the time and
place for a quickie. Lord knows, he'd thought about that idea often enough.

As much as this upset Kyle, he was even more upset by the other changes.
Either his guilt was somehow coming across to Zuzu, or the relationship was inherently bad for her. "Have you noticed that Zuzu is dressing differently lately?" he asked Jenny now.

Jenny removed a couple of bread slices from the grill pan and rubbed
them with garlic. "Well, yes," she said, grinning. "I guess I have. She
used to be sort of funky-chic and now she's sort of understated-classy."

"Sort of my mother," Kyle said.

Jenny laughed. "There's nothing wrong with the way your mother dresses."

"Not at all." Kyle had always liked the way his mother dressed.

What Kyle couldn't tell Jenny was that Zuzu had changed her style during
their weekend together. She'd gone out shopping the morning after they'd first made love and bought conservative clothes, and she'd worn them during the entire trip.

In the time since, she'd kept wearing outfits in the

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browns and blacks and grays that were elegant and nice, but too drab for
Zuzu. Color suited her.

The changes bothered him.

Lately, the woman who'd talked to everyone and handed out advice the way
Mexican restaurants handed out mints seemed reticent. She frowned more.
She said she was too busy to chat for longer than those fifteen minutes
when he arrived home from work. Too busy to join the family for an
occasional dinner.

Zuzu was fading away and leaving every other woman in her place. "At
least she's coming to dinner tonight," Kyle muttered. "That's
something."

"Zuzu did tell me she'd started teaching a community-college class,"
Jenny said. She paused to sip from her glass of club soda, then gasped.
"Maybe that's the reason for the wardrobe change. If she's teaching,
maybe she thinks she needs to tone down her style."

"It's afeng shui class, and she's taught it before," he said dryly.
"She's also picked up new massage clients and increased her hours at the
shop. She's doing lots of things to fill her schedule, but none of those
things would require a style makeover."

"She's very active, isn't she?" Jenny said. "Maybe her other
involvements bother you because they limit your time together, but after
you marry it will get easier. She'll come home to you."

"Right," Kyle said, recognizing that Jenny's well-intended advice would
make sense under normal circumstances.

"Your idea to hire a new nanny is good," Jenny said. "If Zuzu doesn't
have to pick up the girls from school every day, maybe she'll feel she
has more time for you."

"Right."

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Kyle had interviewed dozens of nannies since he'd been back from Kansas
City, and this morning he'd finally found one. The twenty-six-year-old
grad student, attending Wheatland University right here in Kirkwood,
missed her five little brothers in Nebraska and thought that caring for
three sisters for a few hours a day sounded like a dream job.

She'd pick the kids up from their schools or activities, drive them home
and hang out until he arrived. She'd do exactly what Zuzu had been
doing, starting on Monday.

Freeing Zuzu to be just his ladylove, as Jenny had suggested. Kyle hoped
the arrangement worked, but he worried that he'd never see Zuzu again
after the new nanny started.

She might just fade right out of his life, for whatever her reasons.

He couldn't let her do that.

Zuzu might consider herself all kinds of different, but the woman Kyle
saw was all kinds of amazing. She'd connected with his kids because she
listened hard, every time. Hell, she'd even connected with his dad after
the dementia had made that almost impossible.

She was wonderfully attuned to the heart of a person. Wonderful about
discovering whatever he or she might need.

In Kyle's estimation, a woman like that came around once in a lifetime.

So even though things were a little complicated here at home, he
wouldn't give up on Zuzu.

Tonight, he'd talk to her. He'd try to nudge the relationship forward
again.

Kyle realized he'd chopped the whole bundle of chives when he'd needed
only a sprinkling for the soup, so he scooped the extra amount back into
the bag and returned it to the refrigerator. Then he paused to sip his
martini as

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he glanced at the clock. Zuzu would be arriving with the girls any
minute.

"Thanks for doing this tonight," he told Jenny. "After dinner, if you'd
help the kids entertain our guests, I'll get Zuzu to help me clean up in
here."

Jenny grabbed her drink, too, and frowned at him. "I don't think it's a
good idea to ask your fiancee to clean up after a dinner party.
Especially if you're fighting."

"We're not fighting."

"Are you sure she still wants the private, civil ceremony?" Jenny asked.
"Maybe she's changed her mind."

If he were truly marrying Zuzu next month, Kyle suspected that they'd
just slip away and make things legal, as he'd told his family
previously. "Absolutely," he said. "She thinks that sounds more
romantic. Actually, so do I."

"You must have done something else wrong, then."

Kyle frowned, thinking about it, but he couldn't come up with a single
misstep. It seemed they'd lived some version of heaven in Kansas City,
and when they'd come home they'd dropped to earth. "I don't think so."

"Well, something must be wrong. I've never seen you this distracted."

"Zuzu's not telling me what's wrong," he said in that very same slow,
patient voice he used with the girls just before he snapped. Then he
shrugged. "But I do have a plan for tonight."

"To fix things by asking Zuzu to scrub pots and pans?"

He smiled. "What happens when you put two buddies together over a
sinkful of dishes?"

"They start talk— Oh!" Jenny chuckled as she glanced at the growing pile
of dishes next to the sink. "I should have known. And Zuzu never refuses
a plea for help, does she?"

"Nope." Kyle stirred the cauliflower soup they'd left

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heating on the stove, while Jenny pulled a chilled bowl and cream from
the refrigerator to whip and flavor for dessert.

Kyle had started to chop a few plum tomatoes, when he heard the garage
door open. Soon, Zuzu and his daughters came in through the back.

Kyle watched Jenny greet everyone and then send the kids to their rooms
to clean up and change clothes. She winked at him as she followed Bonnie
out of the kitchen, claiming that she wanted to freshen up, also. "Zuzu
can help you finish up in here," she said. "I'm sure the two of you will
want to catch up."

Jenny was a sharp woman.

As soon as they were alone, Kyle approached Zuzu, smiling. "Hi there,"
he said. "I'm glad you're staying for the party tonight," he said.
"You'll like Frank and Roger."

"I'm sure I will."

Zuzu stood on tiptoe to accept his welcoming hug. She kissed him
tenderly, but quickly. When she backed up, her smile was tremulous and
her face was flushed. She always left him with the impression that she
was glad to see him.

But then she disentangled herself and headed straight to the pantry to
grab one of the aprons Beth had kept there. "What do I need to do?" she
asked as she looped the apron tie into a bow behind her back.

Beth had always favored that apron, but she'd always brought the ends
around, tying them in front. Kyle squelched another memory, smiling at
Zuzu.

"Relax a minute," he said. "Our guests aren't due until six, and Jenny
has things under control here. We have forty-five minutes to finish
chopping a few tomatoes."

When Zuzu came close enough, Kyle drew her around to face him. He tugged
her back into his arms and kissed

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her again, but he didn't waste this kiss. He'd had too many soft but
closed-mouth kisses in the past two weeks.

No matter what this woman wore, he recognized her as the lady who'd
helped renew his interest in a few important things. He knew the feel of
her waist. The sweetness of her voice. The taste of her lips. He knew
that this feeling—this deep but sometimes confusing desire for her—was
nothing but good.

He knew it.

So he kissed her with an open mouth and an ardent heart, letting Zuzu
taste his confidence. With each nibble and nip and tilt of his lips, he
told her that he found her sexy. Lovely. Amazing.

When she didn't pull away within the first few minutes, he lifted her
hips to bring her closer. He tilted his body backward, bracing himself
to take her full weight. Letting her feel his ready heat. How could she
deny this? How could she pretend it wasn't worth her time?

Zuzu was just as interested as he was. She wrapped her legs around the
backs of his thighs and let herself enjoy.

Thank heaven.

But then some kid upstairs dropped a brush or a hair dryer or a bottle
of lotion. A loud thump sounded over Kyle's head, and Zuzu scrambled
away from him.

"Forty-five minutes is a long time, but not that long," she said, her
chuckle belying her moody brown eyes. "With your cousin and kids in the
house, we shouldn't be doing that, anyway."

That was exactly what Kyle would want his daughters to say.

But not his lover.

He watched Zuzu step toward the counter and take over chopping the
tomatoes, which he'd started. The apron, he

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noticed now, was pulled around yet another outfit he'd never seen
before. Zuzu's knee-length black dress had long sleeves and a high
collar. It also had a deep vee in back and a slit up the side. It was
sexy. Sophisticated.

It looked great on Zuzu, but Kyle didn't like it. Probably because he
still didn't know why she'd changed.

Hopefully, he'd get an answer later tonight.

Zuzu carried a tray into Kyle's living room, smiling at his daughters
and his guests. "Anyone hungry?" she asked. She and his daughters had
been assigned the task of entertaining the guests while Kyle and Jenny
put a few finishing touches on dinner.

Roger was surrounded by Kyle's daughters and Bonnie. Patting the dog's
ears as she leaned adoringly against his legs, he was telling the girls
about a litter of coyote pups he'd found in a farm shed last week. He
paused his tale just long enough for the Harper girls to select
appetizers, told Zuzu no thanks or he'd spoil his appetite for dinner,
and then went on with his story.

He appeared well enough entertained without her, so Zuzu approached
Frank, who was sitting in a wing chair, watching the fire. She offered
the tray and waited for him to choose an appetizer. "Mmm. I've always
loved Beth's bruschetta," he said, popping it into his mouth.

"Beth's?" Zuzu asked, curious.

Frank winced, obviously thinking he'd committed a major blunder by
mentioning the deceased wife to the new fiancee. "I meant it was her
recipe," he explained, looking apologetic. "One year, we brought along
some asparagus that had ripened in our home garden. She created this
appetizer and served it for dinner that night."

Zuzu set the tray on a table, then claimed the chair next to

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Frank's and took a piece of bruschetta. She wasn't surprised to learn
that Beth had been a good cook. Kyle's kids had told her that the
cooking gene ran on both sides of the family. She hadn't known that Beth
had been creative in the kitchen, too.

As Zuzu ate the delicious morsel, she recognized that her thoughts were
illogical. Beth was dead, but Zuzu was jealous of her.

"Beth's creation is excellent," Zuzu said, hoping that by addressing the
topic directly, she could at least put Kyle's guest at ease.

"I didn't mean to offend you," Frank said.

"And you didn't," Zuzu insisted. "It'd be hard not to mention Beth's
name in this house. I'd much rather that you spoke comfortably around
me."

"I can see why Kyle finally let down his guard," he said. "You're a
lovely lady—" Frank ended the sentence with an intake of breath, and
Zuzu knew he'd been about to add something. He'd been about to say too.

She was a lovely lady, too. Like Kyle's wife.

Zuzu gave up on trying so hard to be gracious and just smiled, crunching
into another appetizer.

"Your name is unusual," Frank said. "What is it? European?"

She didn't like that question, but she'd been hearing it a lot lately.
When she'd worn sequins, people hadn't questioned her name. They'd
simply smiled and nodded knowingly. Her eccentricity had protected her.

But now she was dressing the part of the businessman's fiancee. She was
trying hard to feel comfortable in a role that was a tough fit, and in
the process she was opening herself up to people's curiosity.

She reminded herself to breathe from her center, then said, "No. Zuzu's
a version of Susie or Suzanne."

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"Were you born and raised in Kirkwood, then?"

Another polite question.

Another question Zuzu didn't like.

She'd prefer not to discuss where she was born and raised. She lived her
life to forget her painful childhood, and now there was an added risk.

Kyle hadn't heard her whole story. He'd always had so much and she,
well...she'd had few advantages growing up. During all the years of her
childhood, whether Zuzu was with her mother or in foster care, her story
had been carried along with her like a favorite stuffed animal.

Her caseworkers, her teachers and some of her foster parents had been
apologetic, yet in their basic inaction they'd admitted their
powerlessness.

Everyone had felt sorry for little Sue Clark, but it had done her no
good. She'd learned to dislike that inert sympathy. In spite of her
past, she had grown up healthy, intuitive and strong. She wanted
people—especially Kyle and his family—to deal with her as the woman she
was now.

She answered Frank honestly but vaguely. "I've lived around Kansas my
whole life, but I came to Kirkwood last year."

"Do you have family here, then?"

Dear Frank was three for three with the innocent questions that put Zuzu
on edge. "No, no family," she said. Then she glanced at Kyle's
daughters, remembering that everyone in this room believed she would be
quietly marrying Kyle, in about a month. "Unless you count Kyle and his
kids, of course."

"Oh, that's right."

Suddenly, Zuzu was ready to leave. What could Kyle have been thinking,
asking her to help tonight? It might be fine for her to present a
certain image for the public, in pub-

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lie. Here in this house, tonight, it wasn't working. Right now, it was
apparent that Kyle and Jenny could have handled the dinner party without
her.

Frank had just asked Zuzu a question she hadn't heard when, mercifully,
Jenny appeared in the doorway to call everyone to dinner.

After they had sat around the large, formal dining-room table and begun
to eat, the group's constant chatter took some of the pressure off. Zuzu
felt herself begin to relax.

She was at the opposite end from Kyle, with Alex and Roger flanking her.
She listened to Alex's description of how she was finally conquering
long division, along with Roger's suggestions. He really liked kids. He
told a few G-rated jokes and laughed heartily at even the lamest of
Alex's.

During a lull in conversation as everyone was finishing their dinner,
Zuzu asked, "Do you have kids, Roger?"

"Well, no." He peered down the table at Frank and shrugged. "We're not
married, and no kids."

She nodded. "Well, you should have them. Any prospects?"

Everyone at the table quieted, until sweet Chelsea piped up. "Frank and
Roger told my mom once that they wanted to adopt all three of us girls
and take us home to Wamego."

They wanted to— Oh!

Roger had meant that they weren't married as a couple. That they didn't
have kids as a couple. It seemed obvious now. And now Zuzu was the one
who'd put her foot in her mouth. She must have looked horrified. Frank
and Roger both started talking at once, assuring her that no damage had
been done. They were fine.

Zuzu thought they probably were fine, but she wasn't.

No matter how many times she reminded herself to breathe deeply, to
relax, to let things happen naturally—

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both tonight and with this fling with Kyle in general—she just kept
tightening back up.

She didn't want a fling with him.

It was dangerous. She liked him too much. Liked his family. Wanted it
all to last forever, and knew her wanting was foolish. Yet she couldn't
find the courage to refuse a single moment of time if Kyle asked for it.

So she was stuck in a land of neither-nor. Neither content to be his
transitional woman. Nor brave enough to say goodbye.

"Time for dessert," Kyle announced. "Frank, it's your favorite tonight.
I'll go get it." He stood up and started stacking dinner plates on his
arm. "Zooz, would you grab those other plates and help me in the
kitchen?"

Zuzu loaded the remaining plates and followed him out, thankful again
for the interruption. "Why didn't you tell me they were a couple?" she
whispered as soon as they'd stacked the dishes next to the sink.

"I didn't think about it," Kyle said. "Relax. They must be used to
fielding questions. They've been together for as long as I've known
them."

Right. But being used to it and liking it were different matters. She
stood near the counter, quiet, watching Kyle slice a great looking apple
pie into eight pieces. Then he grabbed a squeeze bottle, swirled
caramel-like syrup onto white plates and placed a slice of pie on each.
Finally, he topped off each piece with a dollop of whipped cream and a
couple of cinnamon sticks.

"You've got this under control, don't you?"

He picked up a couple of dessert plates. "Guess my years in the
restaurant business have paid off, but I appreciate your help. Would you
grab a couple of plates and bring them in? We'll have to make two
trips."

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She looked at the plates, at him, then decided it might be a good time
to head home. "I haven't done anything but talk tonight," she said. "And
I haven't done very well at that."

He frowned. Then he set down the plates and took her hands. "What is it,
Zooz? What's bothering you?"

"I'm fine."

"You're tilting your head," he said, smiling. "You do that when you're
curious about something. Just ask."

She let out a sigh. "Did Beth do all this?" she asked, nodding toward
the pie plates and then waving her hands out to take in the entire scope
of the kitchen. "Or did you?"

He shook his head. "What we did isn't important."

In Kansas City, when Kyle had talked about Beth, Zuzu had felt
uncomfortable.

Now she realized that his talk about his marriage had been good, not
bad. In sharing his thoughts with Zuzu, he'd let her know that he had
room in his heart for her.

He'd been strangely silent about Beth since they'd been back, so Zuzu
suspected he was thinking about her more. Whatever the case, Zuzu felt
her presence in this house now, where she hadn't before.

"Oh, but it is important," she insisted. "As long as you keep Beth to
yourself, she stays between us. I know you must think about her."

He nodded, his frown intense. "I was trying to avoid talking about her,
though."

Zuzu smiled. "That's just it. You're trying. Which means you're thinking
about her and keeping it from me. Her ghost may as well be standing
between us."

Kyle studied her, very serious. "You're saying you want me to talk about
Beth."

"Yes," Zuzu said quickly, before she changed her mind.

"Okay, to answer your question, Beth and I worked to-

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gether in the kitchen, especially for dinner parties. She liked to do
the main courses—I did the extras. Usually, though, she handled weekday
dinners."

Zuzu stared at him, weighing her reaction to his honesty. Her worry
didn't ease, even though Kyle had done as she'd asked. Beth was still
there between them.

Who Zuzu was and who Kyle was and who Beth had been were so remarkably
different. Beth had been a good cook. A great hostess. A golden child
who was born to wealth and good at everything.

Just like Kyle.

Zuzu was the one who didn't fit.

She glanced at the dessert plates. "Have your daughters help you carry
the pie. I need to go," she said, and stretched up to kiss his cheek.
"I'm doingfeng shui early tomorrow morning."

He frowned. "I thought your class was on Tuesday and Thursday evenings."

Zuzu crossed to the back door. "It is."

"You're teaching a morning class now, too?" Kyle asked, following her
out to stand next to her car. He leaned on the driver's-side door,
blocking her entry.

"No. One of your mom's friends asked me to help her redo her bedroom.
She and her husband are having problems and she's hoping this will
help."

"Oh."

She thought he might move away from her car door now; instead, he looped
a hand around to the small of her back and pulled her closer. "Hey,
Zooz," he said, his eyes laser bright from up close. "What's going on?"

She played dumb. "What do you mean?"

"You backed off."

"So did you."

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He frowned. "I'll admit that things got tough when we returned. I have
been thinking about Beth sometimes. But I'm always thinking about you. I
can't change my history, Zuzu. Please don't let it ruin a good thing."

Zuzu realized with a start that that was exactly what she had been
doing. Letting Kyle's past affect her, when she couldn't even tell him a
lot of things about her past.

But Kyle was right there, ever constant, letting her know he cared about
her even when she wasn't communicating very well and couldn't be a heck
of a lot of fun.

Wow.

This was what it felt like.

Something inside Zuzu eased just then. Some deep pain she'd always known
but had never acknowledged aloud to anyone. No one had ever put up with
her bad times before. No one had ever seemed to see her for who she was,
despite the outer appearance she used as protection.

But here it was—here he was, offering not sympathy but understanding.

Zuzu reached up and then kissed Kyle with the same level of feeling he'd
offered her awhile ago in the kitchen. Letting him know, perhaps for the
first time, that she found him to be the sexiest, most dynamic, most
caring man that she'd ever met.

She couldn't put words to this feeling yet. Words were huge and
threatening, and Kyle was likely no more ready for them than she was.

"It's okay, Kyle," Zuzu said when she finally backed up. "I think we
need time to adjust. It is tougher here, but that doesn't mean we should
give up."

He drew her close, speaking into her hair. "So what do we do?"

His voice had sounded growly, as it did sometimes when

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he was hugging her, but the tone had been unusual. He'd sounded exactly
the way Chelsea did sometimes, when she asked a question. Zuzu frowned,
thinking about that particular tone. What was it?

Vulnerability.

Kyle, dear man, had just given her another gift.

The man who'd been successful in so many endeavors—seeing a marriage
through to a natural end, growing a company that employed hundreds of
people, raising a trio of beautiful daughters—was allowing the woman
who'd controlled only her own life to set the pace.

He was trusting her to do so.

She pulled far enough away to kiss him again. Then she smiled and said,
"We just keep going."

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Kyle stood in the doorway, observing as Zuzu and a group of six other
adults stretched their arms high above their heads, then leaned forward
until their chests and arms were inches from the floor. They held that
pose for an impossibly long time and then, after the gaunt male
instructor at the front of the class had issued some quiet command, they
slowly shifted their arms and bodies out toward one side. Then to the
middle again. Then to the other side.

Finally, they all reclined backward into a row of perfectly straight,
perfectly stretched, perfectly quiet forms. Their synchrony and
gracefulness were more akin to soaring geese or swimming fish than to
human bodies.

Kyle might have felt serene, just watching them, if he hadn't been so
turned on by Zuzu. She was stretching her muscles, Kyle knew, but he
called himself decadent and enjoyed his body's reaction to her
sensuality. He might be a patient man, but he wasn't dead. How could he
curtail these thoughts, when she posed her limbs so beautifully?

When he was allowed to hug and kiss her sometimes, but never more?

Kyle didn't worry about Zuzu locating him in the mirror and becoming
embarrassed by his attention. She con-

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centrated hard during her yoga class. If she noticed him at all, it was
from a place in her mind that didn't react.

He'd caught the endings of three classes over the past two and a half
weeks. He marveled at the extreme discipline of yoga, and he no longer
wondered about how Zuzu had achieved elegance on such a small frame.
Maybe this was why Kyle kept showing up a little earlier each time. So
he could watch and fantasize.

After a series of stretches that led each member of the group back into
a standing position, the instructor quietly dismissed the class. Zuzu
located Kyle in the mirror, then grinned and gave a cute little wave.

They met halfway across the gym floor. "It started to rain a few minutes
ago," Kyle said during a hug that allowed him to feel the dampness at
the small of her back. He was wet, too, from the rain, but he was cold
and she was wonderfully warm. He lengthened the hug, enjoying her heat
and the sweet musky sweat that combined with their wetness and kept his
sexual thoughts churning.

After a few seconds, she stepped back and looked upward. "I can hear it
hitting against the roof."

"Guess a walk won't work today," he said. "It's too cold and the rain
might turn to sleet or snow. I brought the car."

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you want to shower and change?" Kyle asked, glancing at a door that
he knew led to a locker room.

"No. Not if you drove," she said. "I'll slip on my sweats and you can
take me home."

Both Zuzu and Kyle approached the gold duffel bag that sat with
shimmering distinction among the others at the edge of the gym. Zuzu
bent down to unzip it, then pulled out a pair of bright yellow
sweatpants and stepped quickly into them. Then she pulled out a matching
jacket and fi-

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nally a pair of orange suede mules—thank God she was wearing color
again. She finished dressing quickly, balancing with exquisite
limberness to put on her shoes, then she wrapped an arm around his waist
and turned to exit the gym. "Did you have somewhere in mind for today?"

Man, did he.

Her bed, his bed or any bed in any hotel, motel or inn in the county.
The bed wasn't even necessary. Just the two of them and a warm, secluded
place would do.

"Not really," he said, grinning. "Unless you'd consider the back seat of
my car."

She giggled, accustomed to his teasing. He might be gentlemanly enough
to wait until she was ready, but he was manly enough to keep her aware
that he was waiting.

They'd taken to meeting late on Thursday mornings, when Kyle's work
schedule could be adjusted and Zuzu had a long gap of free time. They'd
usually gone for a lingering tea—he'd learned to call it tea for Zuzu's
sake—and a walk past the downtown shops that were nearly abandoned
during the cold weeks after Christmas.

As most new couples must, they talked and laughed and lost track of time
until their complaining bellies told them to eat lunch. Until, after
eating lunch out somewhere, they returned to their workaday worlds.

They stepped outside, and Zuzu paused on the concrete steps, taking in
the day. "Wow! I feel spring in the air."

He chuckled, looking out at the rain.

"Not only because of the rain," she said, nudging him with her elbow.
"There's more to it. It's like the earth is slowly warming from within.
Can you feel that?"

Sometimes, Zuzu still reminded Kyle of a sprite—noticing things that
most people neglected to notice after adulthood. He stood beside her,
looking out at the sights

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he saw every day on his way to and from work. Brick and concrete
buildings, glass windows, wooden doors. Today, rain and puddles were the
only new elements.

Yet Kyle smiled, knowing what she meant.

The cold wind invaded his overcoat almost immediately. He remembered
Zuzu's thin workout clothes and lack of socks, and put a hand at her
waist and guided her down the steps. "I'm still feeling Old Man Winter,"
Kyle said. "He's putting me in the mood."

She grinned. "For your car's back seat?"

"And for its heater."

Kyle drove Zuzu to her apartment, glad for the bonus. Usually, they
didn't spend time there. She considered the place dumpy, but he liked
it. The space might be small, with only her furniture dividing the
living room and bedroom areas, but she'd filled it with her personality.

The sofa was red, the rug a rich gold, and bright artwork decorated
every wall. She'd set a couple of Chinese figurines on a table behind
the sofa, but for the most part, her apartment was efficient and
uncluttered.

As Zuzu showered, Kyle sat on the sofa and thumbed through a portfolio
of her charcoal sketches. Art was her source of relaxation. Zuzu's
everyday life might not include the sometimes overwhelming family
responsibilities that Kyle's did, but she kept busy.

When Kyle heard Zuzu's hair dryer whirring beyond the bathroom door, he
got up and wandered across to look at her photographs. She had framed
the latest versions of his daughters' school pictures and set them up on
a shelf of her stereo cabinet, along with a close-up of him that she
must have snapped on the day they'd all taken his dad to the zoo.

She'd even framed the newspaper photo of the two of them at Tiers, on
the night they'd been caught kissing.

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There were only a few photographs in her apartment that weren't of Kyle
or his family. He studied a pair of images. One was a photograph of a
young adult woman with straight brown hair and blue, heavily made-up
eyes. Another was a grainy copy, showing an older Chinese couple with
shining eyes and wide grins.

This was her past. Her history.

Kyle had tried to encourage Zuzu to talk about the people in the
photographs, but so far she'd offered only the most basic facts.

That's my birth mother. Those are the Tans.

He kept thinking that if he could get her to open up a little, their
relationship would be so much simpler. But perhaps these complications
were typical in relationships that started past the age of seventeen.

If that was the case, it was too bad.

The bathroom door opened and Zuzu came out, fully dressed and smiling.
"What, you're snooping again?"

Kyle noted with relief that she'd worn her harem pants with a bright
pink top. "Hey, come here," he said.

She walked across the room, bringing along waves of her fresh, exotic
scent. She stood next to him as they both studied the picture he held in
his hands.

"Look at this," he said, extending both index fingers across the blue
eyes in the photograph.

"Yes," Zuzu said. "There's a strong resemblance, isn't there? Except for
the eyes."

Right. The face shape, the bowlike mouth and the small nose were the
same. But Zuzu's brown eyes were soft and full of life. Her mother's
blue ones showed defeat.

"What was she like?" he asked, for probably the fourth or fifth time.
Each time he got a new snippet of information.

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199

"Worried when she wasn't drinking. Sloppy when she was."

"Did she like art?"

"I have no idea," Zuzu said, walking away from him, toward the door.
"Hey, weren't we going to do something this morning?" she asked.

Okay. She wasn't ready to talk.

Kyle watched Zuzu until she turned around, then he said, "Uh, since you
didn't like the 'back seat' idea, then..." He let his gaze move across
to her bed, which, because her apartment wasn't divided by walls, was
within plain sight for both of them.

She laughed, grabbing her cloak from a peg near the door. "Let's go walk
around the mall."

"The mall.. .you mean, without the kids?"

She raised her chin and kept her eyes on his, refusing to glance toward
the bed. "I want to find shoes to wear this weekend and, well, do you
have a better idea?"

Okay. She wasn't ready for him in that way, either.

He shrugged back into his overcoat. "No. Not at all."

At the mall, they strolled around and peered into windows. When they
approached the sister store of a choco-latier that they'd visited
together in Kansas City, Zuzu said, "I had a good time New Year's
weekend."

Kyle smiled, realizing what must be on her mind. He and Zuzu had snacked
on raspberry fudge truffles after a particularly memorable afternoon in
bed. New Year's weekend had been mostly about sex.

When he'd been in meetings, she'd waited in the room or shopped. When he
hadn't, they'd been adventurous.

She'd been ready and willing then, and he was discovering that the
memories were enough to last him for a

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while. "I did, too," he said now. "It was unbelievably sensual. The kind
of weekend a man remembers forever."

She frowned, then turned away from the chocolatier's window and walked
on. "You don't have to say that, Kyle."

"Surely you realize I mean it," he said. "You were there." He paused,
not quite sure how to word his thoughts without dishonoring either the
woman he had loved or the woman he loved now. "That part of my marriage
started out enthusiastic but unlearned. We improved, and the dynamics
were always tender and loving..."

He caught back his next word, saying it only in his mind.

But.

Zuzu was quiet. She continued to walk along slowly, her head tipped
slightly toward him in a way that told him she needed to hear this.

"With you, they were explosive."

"Do you think certain people are just good together in certain ways?"
she asked after a minute. "That maybe our minds together generate a kind
of open-minded sensuality?"

"Maybe. Probably." Kyle frowned. He'd never wanted Zuzu to think he was
hanging around just for sex.

He pulled her to the other side of the mall, insisting that they pause
to look in a Jeweler's window that was decorated with red lace Cupids
and hearts for Valentine's Day next week.

Kyle wouldn't have been able to forget the day, even if he'd tried. His
mother had mentioned twice that he would be a married man soon, and that
she understood about his and Zuzu's choice to keep their wedding day
private, but would he please inform her before the press, this time?

In a broad hint, Jenny had offered to be available for any legal
ceremonies Kyle might need witnessed in the next week or so. Kyle had
managed to convince both of them

201


201

that he and Zuzu hadn't worked out the final details, that they might
put the wedding off for a little while since they'd fallen in love so
quickly, and that he'd let them know everything at the proper time.

Valentine's Day was on his mind, anyway. Kyle knew as well as the next
man how much a female appreciated grand romantic gestures. He was ready.
He'd already bought and wrapped a pair of ruby earrings, and he'd
invited Zuzu to go out on Saturday night. He'd even promised Sydney that
he'd pay her a decent wage to keep watch over her sisters and the house
that evening.

He knew just where to take Zuzu, too. Dancing had started them on the
right path; he was hoping it would help now. He'd asked around, and an
accountant in the corporate offices had told him about a Kirkwood
nightspot that had a dance floor and catered to a crowd past college
age.

He was taking her dancing again.

Now he was biding his time, waiting for Saturday night, ready to
communicate to Zuzu in every way he could that right now, she was the
only woman for him.

He hoped their relationship would become less complicated after their
special night.

He wanted to move things forward and enjoy the benefits of an adult
relationship that went beyond long walks and warm hugs. At the very
least, he wanted Zuzu to trust him a little more.

"I like that one," he said, pointing to a fat pink diamond.

"It's gorgeous." She pulled him away and reverted to their previous
discussion. "You were great, too. I wasn't all that experienced and I'd
never learned to relax. But with you, well..." She chuckled. "It was
pretty explosive, wasn't it?"

Apparently, the subject of sex was safer than looking at rings. Kyle
didn't answer. At the present moment, he didn't

202


want to talk about sex with her. He wanted to confess that he was head
over heels in love with her.

And he would, this weekend when he took her dancing. He just hoped he'd
survive the wait.

Zuzu stepped inside the Starlight Saloon and felt she might have entered
through the wrong door. She'd expected a dance club with romantic
lighting and soft music, not this bar, with its more rudimentary milieu
of cigarette smoke, beer cans and tall, scarred tables. The awful racket
the deejay was sending out over the sound system would probably be
considered music by some folks, but Zuzu doubted that it would be
considered soft by anyone.

The magenta tissue-paper hearts that hung from several spots around the
room were the only noticeable concessions to romance, and Zuzu had never
seen a less-elegant crowd. The trio of men at the bar who were blatantly
eyeing her might very well be living advertisements for the local tattoo
parlor.

She couldn't believe Kyle had brought her here. She'd been under the
impression that he had some romantic scheme going. Ignoring the stares
she was getting, Zuzu stood near the door and waited for him. He'd
stopped to hunt for a place to check their coats.

A light touch against her shoulder indicated that he'd arrived at her
side. She turned, catching his reaction. "Jeez," he said, his expression
as dark as the room.

She leaned next to his ear so he could hear her. "Been here before?"

"Uh, no." He frowned, glancing down at his suit jacket and flicking off
a microscopic piece of dust. Then he looked across at her. She'd bought
her burnt-orange cocktail dress just for this occasion. It was made of
shiny taffeta, and it had a full skirt and a nifty little diamante
buckle.

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203

Right now, it made Zuzu feel as if she'd shown up at the prom committee
meeting dressed for the prom.

Kyle, too, leaned in to talk. "I was told the place catered to an older
crowd."

"That sounds right," she said. "Some of these folks must have come of
age in the sixties."

"That's what I was thinking," he said. "I expected something different,
though."

Obviously.

An extremely tall, thin man wearing ponytailed hair and a stained white
T-shirt appeared from the depths of the bar and stood four feet away,
smirking at them.

Kyle put an arm around Zuzu's waist and pulled her close, scowling at
the stranger. When the man didn't leave, Kyle shouted in a horrible
British accent, "Is that the old bean who scratched the bonnet of your
motor car, my love?"

Zuzu tried not to smile as she responded. "Mon cher," she half shouted.
"Ehm not, how is ze word? Certainement."

The man's mouth dropped open before he vanished into the smoky darkness.

Kyle didn't look at her, but Zuzu felt his body shaking next to hers and
knew he was chuckling. "If the need arises again," she said into his
ear, "now you know I can only fake in a French accent."

"That sounds sexy."

She laughed, watching the crowd.

"You still want to go in?" Kyle asked.

"Well, why not. I'm having fun so far."

Holding her chin high, Zuzu walked alongside Kyle into the bar. Either
news of her importance had spread fast, or their fancy duds lent them an
air of importance, because the crowd parted as they made their way
around the room, searching for an empty table.

204


Even after the three loops around that allowed everyone to gawk their
fill, they couldn't find a single empty chair. Plainly, even royal
status couldn't make a person give up their seat at the Starlight
Saloon.

"Shall we get a lashing and wait for a spot to open up?" Kyle asked.

"A lashing?"

He grinned. "A drink."

"Oh! But of course, mon cher."

He ordered his standard martini; she ordered a glass of wine. They both
got some form of a beer, since it was the only drink served at the
Starlight. As they stood at the edge of the crowd, watching what seemed
like dozens of jean-clad, buxom blondes talking to dozens of skinny,
smiling men, Kyle hollered, "I can say one thing."

"What's that?"

"You're the belle of the ball."

She laughed, but when she glanced at him, she caught her breath. He took
her hands and stood back, admiring her dress. Admiring her in a way that
told her he would have meant what he'd said if she'd been in a roomful
of Julia Roberts look-alikes. Suddenly, she felt like the belle of the
ball. Or in this case, the belle in the bar.

"Thanks," she mouthed. "And you are stunning tonight."

They stood smiling at each other for a minute, communicating something
that felt bigger than their physical attraction, and then they both
turned away. But Kyle slid an arm around her waist, and his touch kept
her feeling safe and cherished.

Zuzu gazed longingly at the dance floor, wishing someone would start
dancing. The music was loud enough, but she doubted that even the most
rhythmically inclined person here would be able to dance to what the
deejay was playing.

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205

After a while, the deejay put on a slow song.

"Fancy a dance, my love?" Kyle asked immediately.

At her nod, Kyle took her drink and searched for a place to put both
half full beer bottles. By the time he looked up again, the dance floor
was packed with people from one edge to the other.

"Guess we missed out on that one," he said. As he returned her drink to
her, he appeared to be so disappointed that Zuzu felt her heart swell.

"Guess so," she said. "Maybe a few couples will leave the dance floor
after this song."

She knew what he wanted.

She wanted it, too. She hadn't forgotten that first night at the little
hotel club. She loved to dance with Kyle. Although he was a tall man and
she was only of average height, they danced well together.

The song ended and a new one started—another slow song. Not one person
left the dance floor, but Kyle grabbed Zuzu's beer anyway. He handed
both beers to the nearest aging hippie and led Zuzu out into the throng.

The song was something she didn't know, but Zuzu loved it. She loved the
feel of Kyle's chest against her cheek and the way his hand rested
gently but command-ingly against the curve of her waist.

Finally, she admitted it to herself. She might have thought herself in
love before, but she'd never felt like this. As frightening as that was,
right now on this dance floor, she wanted to let herself enjoy it.

She was Cinderella tonight.

Halfway through the song, she felt a bump against her shoulder. Then
another against her backside.

Opening her eyes to gaze past Kyle's shoulder, she realized the crowd on
the dance floor was actually getting

206


thicker, and that most of the couples weren't watching where they were
going.

They were making out.

Zuzu backed up a smidgen and grinned at Kyle, thinking she'd make some
smart-alecky comment using her rusty high-school French, but Kyle didn't
return her smile.

She forgot what she'd been about to say. He seemed awfully serious. He
was staring at her mouth.

She knew what he wanted now, too.

So she kissed him.

Zuzu was aware of her surroundings, and yet she was more aware of Kyle.
His chest was hard and muscled through the rich fabric of his clothes.
His lips were firm, yet tender, and their beer taste seemed sexy. His
hands were hot, roving. He slid them down to her hips and lifted her
close with an earthy, erotic bravery.

Through that song and part of the next—which was actually another fast,
undanceable song—they lingered and kissed and forgot themselves as their
hands and lips and bodies explored just as recklessly as the next
couple's.

Eventually, Kyle growled against her ear, "The song's ended. I know this
place isn't exactly romantic, but do you mind waiting around a while in
case they play another slow one?"

She chuckled, backing up to gaze at him. Then she shook her head. When
they left the dance floor, a pink-cheeked, balding man was standing at
its edge, watching them. His thick green coat and clean-cut style
appeared out of place in this crowd, and yet his smirk looked about
right.

"Well, hello," Kyle shouted to him, surprising Zuzu. She'd expected the
British-royalty act again.

"Hello, Mr. Harper," the man shouted back. "Having a good time here at
the Starlight?"

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207

Gently, Kyle grasped Zuzu by the elbow and led her and this man, whom he
apparently knew from somewhere, to a quieter corner of the bar. "I am
having a great time," he said, glancing at Zuzu. "I wouldn't have
expected to see you here, though. Have you taken up clubbing in your off
time?"

"I'm not actually clubbing," the man said. "My wife and kids are home
watching television, and that was where I was until about twenty minutes
ago."

Kyle didn't respond. He seemed to be waiting for an explanation.

"Some of the Courier's production crew come out here on Saturday night
after their shift," the man explained. "One of them called to say that
you and your fiancee were here, dressed up for some big occasion."

"Slow news day?" Kyle asked, scowling.

"Come on, Kyle," the man said. "You're a local celebrity, and a story is
a story."

Zuzu realized the man was a newspaper reporter.

"We've heard some buzz about!a secret Valentine's Day wedding," the
reporter said. "We thought you might have gone ahead and tied the knot
tonight."

"Right." Kyle looked at Zuzu apologetically, and then back at the
reporter. "Well, you're wrong," he said. "There's no big story tonight.
I'm just out to celebrate Valentine's Day with my fiancee."

As if to confirm Kyle's statement, the reporter turned his attention to
Zuzu. He glanced down at her dress, then back up to her face. "You two
just came here to dance, dressed like that?" he asked, his every word
sounding incredulous. "Really?"

"Really." Zuzu smiled.

The reporter pulled a small digital camera out of his coat pocket. "Mind
if I get a few pictures, then?" he asked Kyle.

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"It'd be great publicity for your company, and I didn't take a single
shot of you two out there kissing."

Kyle was silent, probably remembering exactly how involved that kiss had
been. "You damn well better not have," he said.

"I didn't."

Kyle frowned at Zuzu. "Would you mind a few photographs?"

She was certainly dressed for it. "Why not?" she asked. "Anything to
help Harper Enterprises."

The man took a few pictures, drawing much of the Starlight's crowd
around to watch. Zuzu realized that the European royalty act couldn't
have fooled many people here. They must have recognized who Kyle was,
and their interest was probably unrelated to the fancy clothes. Zuzu
hadn't lived in Kirkwood long, and sometimes she forgot that Kyle and
his family were well known.

The reporter had her and Kyle sign a release, then shook both their
hands.

"Excuse me," Kyle said to Zuzu, and put an arm around the reporter's
shoulder to walk him out, leaning his head close and talking to the
reporter all the way.

"What was that all about?" Zuzu asked when Kyle returned, and then
frowned when she heard his cell phone ringing.

"It's the kids' cell number," he said. "Sorry. I need to take it."

Zuzu watched Kyle pull the phone out of his jacket pocket and flip it
open. Then she watched as his conversation with Sydney started at calm
and moved rapidly toward exasperated.

"She wants to talk to you," he finally said, handing the phone across.

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209

"Hey, Sydney," Zuzu said. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Sydney said, her voice sounding young. "But can you get Dad to
come home now?"

"Problems?"

"Sort of. I told one of my so-called friends that we were going to be
home alone tonight, and now some of the older kids are driving by. I
think they want to have a keg party here."

"Don't let anyone in," Zuzu said. "Your dad will be right there."

"Zuzu?"

"Yes."

"Would you come, too? We haven't seen you in a while."

Zuzu smiled. She'd missed Kyle's daughters now that they had a regular
nanny. "I'll see what I can do."

She hung up and grinned at Kyle, who'd heard her side of the
conversation.

"I wanted tonight to be special," he said.

"It was."

"But I wanted..."

She put a finger over his lips. "Shh. I know. It's fine," she said.
"What time did you tell Sydney you'd be home tonight?"

"Midnight."

How appropriate.

Zuzu's Cinderella night was rapidly changing back into real life. Or
rather, real life according to the Harper family.

"It's ten-fifteen, so we're not far off," she soothed. "Anyway, the kids
want me to come see them, and I couldn't do that if we stayed out till
midnight."

"You're coming to my place?" he asked, his interest peaking.

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"Yes."

He put his arm around her waist and started toward the door. "What are
we waiting for?"

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The house was dark. Kyle flipped on the light next to the garage
entrance and led Zuzu inside, nudging a sleeping Bonnie out of the way
with his foot The dog lumbered up to all fours, prepared to howl. "Hush,
girl, it's only us," Kyle said.

Bonnie gave him a good sniff, licked Zuzu on the hand and settled back
down in front of the garage door.

The kitchen looked odd. Too clean. The usual Saturday-night scattering
of empty popcorn bags and diet-soda cans was missing. "No one's been
partying here," Kyle said. "But something is going on. The place is
spotless."

"You don't give your daughters enough credit," Zuzu said. "Maybe they
cleaned up."

He studied the room. "But this is exactly how I left it."

"Maybe they want to prove that they can be trusted at home alone," Zuzu
said. "You have to admit that Sydney's phone call showed a lot of
responsibility."

He shrugged. "Where are they then?"

Zuzu frowned, lifting her eyes toward the ceiling as she and Kyle both
listened. "Up in their rooms, reading?" she suggested, looking
skeptical.

"If Chelsea was in her room, the dog would be in there with her," Kyle
pointed out. After tossing his keys on the

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table, he tromped through the kitchen, with Zuzu trailing him. When they
entered the family room and he turned on the overhead light, he and Zuzu
both stopped.

His daughters had left candles on every surface—on the tables, on the
bookshelves, on the fireplace mantel and hearth. The colors, shapes and
sizes of the candles were varied, but Kyle knew where his daughters had
found so many. They'd taken the many red and green ones from the
Christmas supplies, the plum ones from the dining-room candelabra and
the white ones from the emergency kit. The candles weren't lit, but
there was a note and a book of matches waiting on a side table.

"Aha! They were up to something," Kyle said, smiling as he grabbed the
note. It explained that they were spending the night at Kyle's parents'
house, and that they wouldn't return home until tomorrow at lunchtime.

Kyle handed the note to Zuzu, who read it with a grin on her face. When
she chuckled, he knew she'd reached the note's end. In a postscript,
Alex had advised them to have a great time, claiming that she was just
glad she wouldn't have to sit around and watch her dad smooch.

Kyle swung an arm out to nab Zuzu by the waist, pulled her close and
gave her a lingering kiss. He wanted to establish right off that he was
completely okay with his daughters' conspiracy, and that he didn't want
to waste a single second. Zuzu had definitely been willing on that dance
floor tonight. He hoped she was still feeling more heat than reluctance.

After he'd kissed her, he framed Zuzu's face with his hands. "Let's not
wait anymore."

Zuzu put her arms up around his neck, which Kyle believed was a positive
sign. He kept talking. "Tonight, I took you dancing," he said. "And in
doing so, I was trying to re-create something special."

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213

Zuzu leaned into his body, pressing a cheek against his chest as they
both started swaying in the middle of the well-lit family room. "I
thought that's what you were doing," she said, chuckling. "I liked the
dancing, too."

"But it didn't work exactly, did it?" he said, stepping back to look at
her. "Everything was different."

She frowned, allowing her hands to fall to her sides. "Well, except for
the two of us. Yes. I guess it was different."

He kissed her again to soften the confusion in her eyes, telling her
that whatever he was about to say wasn't going to hurt her. Then he held
her hands in his and said, "But it was still wonderful."

She nodded.

"Even though the setting was different, we had a great time tonight. Or
at least, I did."

"I did, too."

"You aren't a repeat of something good in my life. You are completely
different Completely amazing in your own right."

Her smile was sweet.

"I'm serious about you. None of this is reckless," he said, clasping her
hands against his chest. "Can you try to trust me? Can we get a little
closer?"

For an answer, she lifted up to kiss him.

After a little while, Kyle backed up. "My daughters went to the trouble
of setting a romantic mood here," he said. "We should at least enjoy
their efforts."

"The note says there's wine in the refrigerator," Zuzu said. "I'll get
that."

"I'll light the candles. Meet me here."

When Zuzu returned, Kyle had every candle lit and the stereo radio tuned
to a station that played good, soft music. He took the wineglasses and
set them on a table before pulling her into his arms.

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He danced with her for a long, long time, content to show his caring in
this way. But soon, the dancing turned to kissing and the kissing led to
more. In the middle of dozens of lit candles, Kyle and Zuzu stood facing
each other and slowly removed their clothes.

They watched with mutual smiles, exposed their aroused bodies, and kept
swaying.

Before Zuzu removed her last piece of clothing—a pair of racy red
panties that were so hot on her that he wanted for forget romance and
rip them off—Kyle stopped her. "I'll do that," he said.

He knelt in front of her and pressed a kiss against her flat belly, then
coasted a finger down each of her hips, sliding the panties off. Baring
her pale, perfect skin. "You're so beautiful."

He felt her shiver, remembered the family room was prone to drafts, and
stood up to tug Zuzu into a hug. "Are you cold?" he whispered.

"No, just.. .full of feelings."

"I think you're cold," he insisted, wishing he'd thought to light a fire
instead of all the candles.

"Okay, I'm both," Zuzu said, giggling.

Kyle had intended to make love to her down here among the candles, but
now he wanted to hide under the covers with her, creating his own form
of romance. "Do you think...?" He glanced toward the hallway that led to
his bedroom.

"Let's go," she said.

Zuzu stood there with her arms wrapped around her body, grinning as Kyle
maneuvered around his family room, blowing out candles. He was naked and
completely aroused, and knowing she was watching him certainly didn't
help. But he wasn't planning to come out of his bed anytime soon, and
couldn't let the house burn down.

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215

Eventually, she helped him blow out the last few candles. "Thanks," he
said without smiling. Zuzu's nude body was sizzling. He wanted to hurry.

Finally, he led her across the house and into his bedroom.

He hadn't told Zuzu yet, hadn't wanted to sound presumptuous, but he'd
bought a new bed. She'd be the only woman he made love to in it. They
crawled beneath the sheets, laughing at the coolness of the fabric, and
wasted no time heating themselves back up.

Kyle rolled on top of Zuzu, taking her hands in his and kissing her
hotly as he pushed himself deeply inside her sweet, ready body.

"You feel so good," he murmured, pausing for a minute, trying to slow
his eager response.

"You do, too," she said. In the darkness, her voice sounded musical,
magical. He'd love to hear it all the time, especially from beside him
in bed.

He wanted to tell her that.

But she moved, opening herself more fully to him. She gripped his
shoulders, pressing softly sucking kisses against the side of his neck
as she lifted her hips. Convincing him once again that now was the time
to show her.

He could tell her later.

Kyle closed his eyes and did as she wished.

That first time had to be fast because they'd waited too long. A while
later, after lingering moments spent in sweet, breath-catching silence,
he started again. Touching her nipples, toying with them. Tasting them.

Then he tasted her, lovingly. Bringing her pleasure in yet another way
and then groaning at the feel of her long hair against his belly as she
reciprocated.

As he drifted toward sleep beside her, he recognized that he'd be lucky
to love Zuzu as long as life allowed it. "This

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might not be the time or place to say this," he whispered, "but I want
to sleep next to you every night."

"Oh, but—"

"Shh!" he said. He knew she didn't want to model that kind of life for
his daughters. He didn't, either, and that was not what he had intended
to suggest. "I meant that I would like to buy you a real engagement
ring. I want to marry you."

She sighed in the darkness, and he wasn't sure how to interpret that.
Then she spoke, her voice soft and unsure. "You do?"

"I do," Kyle said. "I love you."

She chuckled, then rolled on top of him and grabbed his hands, kissing
his chest, his jaw, his mouth. In moments, he was completely awake
again. Seconds after that, he was completely hard again. Kissing and
laughing and ready.

She adjusted her hips around his and used gentle hands to guide him
inside. As they made love, Kyle watched Zuzu's face in the dim light. He
noticed all the expressions that crossed it, and sensed that some shred
of worry or doubt was keeping her from trusting him completely.

Whatever it was, it might always be between them. He didn't think he
could assure her any more than he already had.

As they lay together later, each catching their breath yet again, Zuzu
finally answered his indirect proposal in an indirect way. "How do you
think the girls will react to our news?" she asked.

Kyle closed his eyes, so deeply relieved and grateful that he felt a
rawness in his throat. He tugged Zuzu into a closer embrace, enjoying
the feel of her head on his chest as he toyed with her hair. He didn't
wish to frighten her—she was apparently protecting some vulnerability.
So he simply answered her question. "It won't be news to them," he said.

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211

"Remember, they think we are already engaged and are waiting for us to
tell them you're Mrs. Harper, and moving in."

"That's right," Zuzu said, sounding surprised as she propped herself up
on an elbow to look at him. "So nothing will change for anyone but us."

He smiled. "Well, not yet," he said. "After we're married, a lot will
change. You won't mind living here in this house?"

She didn't hesitate. "No. I like your house. I think the kids are better
off staying here, don't you?"

"And the fact that Beth lived here?"

"Is fine," Zuzu said.

She was a trouper. Kyle kissed her, thanking her for her understanding.
Then he said, "Your life will change in other ways, too. You'll have to
put up with celebrity status on a small scale. I hope you won't mind."

"If I hadn't already realized it, the reporter tonight made that
obvious," she said. "I can't believe he left his family to come to some
bar and take a few pictures."

"That guy has been hounding me, asking for an interview with both of
us," Kyle said. "I never agreed before because we weren't actually a
couple. I suppose we'll have to talk to him now, though."

"Think so?" Zuzu asked, frowning. "We can't just tell him we want our
private life to be private?"

"That's an option, but to be honest, I encourage some publicity. Dad was
good at it and it helps business. Now that we're really engaged, we have
nothing to hide. Right?"

"Right," Zuzu said, sounding unconvinced. She rolled onto her back
beside him.

Kyle chuckled. "Don't worry, Zooz. He'll ask the same kinds of things a
mother would ask—when's the wedding, do we want more kids—that sort of
thing. It's not a big deal at all."

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Still, she didn't respond. Eventually, her breath deepened. She'd fallen
asleep.

Late in the morning, Kyle woke up and discovered her gone. He didn't
worry about it too much until he couldn't find her in the shower or the
kitchen. Bonnie's hulking, snoring shape still blocked the garage
entrance, making it seem as if Zuzu had never been there.

That didn't make sense.

Kyle let Bonnie out and back in, then walked around the house, hunting
for a note or a clue to why she might have left. Except for the dozens
of candles, the family room looked just as it did after the cleaning
lady left each week.

Zuzu must have washed and put away the wineglasses, and their clothes
were missing, too. When Kyle checked the bedroom again, he found his
suit hanging in the closet and his underclothes in the hamper.

She'd even moved his car keys from the kitchen table to the top of his
dresser. Except for the burned candlewicks, she might as well have not
been there physically.

Emotionally, she'd left an impact. She'd made love to him several times.
She hadn't said it in so many words, but he thought she'd indicated that
she would marry him. Hell, hadn't they discussed living arrangements?

Kyle told himself not to worry. Zuzu had strong feelings about a child
waking up to find a parent's lover in the house. She must have taken a
cab home.

However, when Kyle called her apartment, he got her machine. He listened
to her message, then hung up after the beep. It was ineffectual, he
knew, to call someone and refuse to leave a message. But since Zuzu had
left without explaining herself, he had no idea what to say to her.

Right now, he was wondering if his proposal—indirect or not—had been a
mistake. Kyle recalled sitting in that

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219

little downtown coffee shop and hearing Zuzu say she was moving to
Boulder, just like that, because they'd found themselves in a bit of a
public mess.

He remembered how quickly she'd left his house the other night after the
dinner party. Whenever she had problems, Zuzu was inclined to leave. And
she kept so much to herself. No matter how much Kyle cared about her,
her actions didn't bode well for a lasting marriage.

Soon, Kyle's parents arrived with the kids and a couple of pizzas. Over
lunch, Kyle told his entire family that Zuzu had plans for the day but
that they'd had a great time last night. He thanked them all graciously,
and he even told them the funny story about how the Starlight Saloon
wasn't quite what he had expected.

He thought he'd put on a good show until his dad hollered that he wanted
to go home and watch TV. He claimed that this grumpy young man talked
too much.

As soon as his parents left, Kyle phoned Zuzu again and got the machine.
He left a message this time, simply telling her to call his cell-phone
number, then he hung up and told his daughters he had to run a quick
errand.

He went to Zuzu's apartment and banged on the door until her landlady
came out and around to Zuzu's stairway entry, when she surprised him by
tapping on his shoulder.

She said that Zuzu had arrived early that morning in a cab, then she'd
left again a while later in her car, carrying a round red suitcase.

That was when Kyle really started to worry.

For the third time in ten minutes, Zuzu turned down Hillside and drove
by Wesley Hospital. She didn't know why she was circling the hospital
campus, really—the alley

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behind the main building had been covered by a parking garage years ago.

In fact, the entire city had changed considerably since she'd left at
eighteen. Zuzu had driven around Wichita all day, passing by the houses
and apartments with addresses she remembered.

Someone had painted the Tans' old house a lemon yellow, and they'd
installed a chain-link fence. When Zuzu had driven by first thing this
morning, a tiny redheaded boy had been out riding a tricycle in the
driveway.

A few of her previous dwellings had been unchanged. Others had been
gone, replaced by video stores and fast-food restaurants and progress.
Anyway, Zuzu had known all along that she was stalling. Worrying too
much, and making this whole experience too traumatic.

She hadn't driven all the way to Wichita to look up old addresses; she'd
come to see the place where she'd started her life. On the next loop
around, Zuzu turned, then turned again into the hospital parking garage.

She grabbed a ticket at the gate, circled up and parked at the first
available spot, on the fourth level. She got out of her car, locked it
and inhaled deeply. Instead of heading for the elevator that would lead
her to the hospital, Zuzu took the stairs down, frowning as she made her
way through the eerily quiet space to street level.

When she thought she must be somewhere near the right spot, she looked
for approaching cars and then walked out into the middle of the thruway.

Zuzu stood there, letting herself feel it.

This was just a place.

Just a spot in a town, in the world.

It had been a hospital alley once, and now it was a parking garage, but
it had always been just a place.

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221

Thirty years and two months ago, a seventeen-year-old girl had found
herself with a newborn baby and a future that must have appeared bleak.
Though she'd wanted the baby girl, she'd had no idea what to do with
her. So she'd left her, somewhere within shouting distance of this very
spot.

She'd abandoned her.

By some miracle, a police officer had found the nameless baby and had
rushed her inside the hospital. She'd still been warm and she hadn't
been old enough to need food just yet. She'd been all right.

Two weeks later, authorities had started the motions to return the baby
girl, now named Sue, to her gravely apologetic mother. The judge had
believed that the baby's young mother deserved a chance. He'd sent her
to classes and he'd given her information about assistance. During the
next eighteen years, Sue Clark had been bounced between the care of her
mother and the foster families.

It had been rough, to say the least.

Until this day, Zuzu had never been able to put her thoughts into
perspective. Her nightmarish beginning had felt like a judgment on her.
As if God or the Fates had seen her and, finding her lacking some
essential quality for baby girls, had left her to live with less. She'd
taken on such shame.

As Zuzu thought about that seventeen-year-old girl and that baby, her
impressions of the experience seemed to reduce to a livable size. She
might have been abandoned here all those years ago, but this was just a
place.

Her mother had been just a woman who'd had a baby too young, and who'd
later developed an unfortunate tendency to bury her troubles in alcohol.

Zuzu had gotten it wrong all these years. If some divine force had
intervened in her life, it had sent the policeman to find her. The Tans
to teach her.

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Kyle to love her.

A car approached, its engine magnified in the enclosed space. With
quick, sure strides, Zuzu returned to her car. She left the parking
garage, smiling as she drove right past the spot. It was a pad of
concrete. It held no power over her now.

At two o'clock on Sunday afternoon, she started home. She took Highway
77, the fastest route. Still, it would be a three-hour drive even if she
sped, so she ignored her body's urges for rest, for food, for relief.

More than anything, she needed to get to Kyle.

She needed this chance for happiness.

When she got to Kirkwood, she drove straight to his house and parked in
the driveway. After she'd rung the doorbell, Zuzu heard shuffling behind
the door. Then it cracked open. "Oh.. .Zuzu," Sydney said, peering out.
"I'm not supposed to let anyone in."

Good girl, Zuzu thought, smiling. Then she frowned. "Your dad's not
here?"

"No." Sydney sounded unsure. "He's at Tiers. He went to Jenny's office
so she could help him with something."

"Okay," Zuzu said, already backing off the porch. "Lock the door. If
your dad comes home in the next few minutes, tell him I went to Tiers to
find him."

"Urn...Zuzu?" Sydney said.

She hesitated near her car, glancing back. "Yes?"

"You okay?"

She smiled brightly. "I'm fine."

"Good."

At Tiers, Zuzu waved at the hostess and walked right through the crowd
of people waiting for a seat. She flew past the rows of tables, down the
long back hallway and straight into Jenny's office.

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223

Jenny and Kyle were sitting in front of a laptop computer, quietly
discussing something they were seeing on the screen.

"Hello," Zuzu said, too scared to smile when they both looked back.

"My word, there you are!" Jenny said, clapping a hand over her heart.

Then Jenny gazed at Kyle. "Hey, I've got some dinners to serve. You all
right?" she said quietly. At his nod, she patted his arm. "I'll talk to
you later."

Jenny left, and Kyle closed the laptop and swiveled his chair around to
face her. "Where've you been?"

She smiled feebly. "Wichita."

"You left town, and you couldn't bother to tell me you were leaving?" he
said, shaking his head. "I might have assumed you were dead."

He was more upset than she'd ever seen him. Zuzu hoped he'd hear her
out. She walked slowly into the room and took a seat across the table
from him. "I'm fine."

"Who are you?" he asked, his voice way too calm.

"I beg your pardon?"

He opened the laptop in front of him, eyeing the screen. Then he looked
at her again, shaking his head. "After you left, I went through every
possible excuse for you. That you hadn't wanted the kids to find you at
the house, or that you remembered you had to work, or that you were
unexpectedly very sick."

She nodded, but stayed quiet. She didn't blame Kyle for expressing his
anger and confusion.

"But I couldn't think of a single reason for you to leave without
telling me you were going."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes filling. "It's hard to explain, but
I had to do something important, and I

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didn't know how to tell you just part of it without spilling
everything."

"You could have asked me to trust you. You could have said you'd be
back."

Yeah. She knew that now. This morning, she wasn't so sure that was the
case. Zuzu apologized again.

"Eventually, I had to assume there was something you didn't want me to
know," Kyle said. "I could tell that something was bothering you. For a
long time, I thought you were worried that I still loved Beth. Now I
don't think that's it."

Zuzu nodded. Kyle was a smart man.

He nodded toward the computer screen. "Jenny and I ran a check on you
this afternoon."

"A check?"

He smiled, but it wasn't a glad smile. "I'm an employer. I check out
references all the time," he said. "If you're going to go by an alias,
Sue Clark, then you should at least go to the trouble of changing your
name legally."

Oh. He knew her given name.

Well, good. That was one less secret to tell. "I had no reason to change
my name legally," she explained. "Zuzu is really just a nickname."

"But your name is Sue Clark," he said, as if he wished her to confirm
it.

"Yes."

"You haven't stolen cars to make a living, and you haven't killed
anyone."

She smiled, hoping he was kidding. "No."

He jumped out of his seat, shoved both hands through his hair and roared
in frustration. Then he shrugged, gazing at her. "Then why couldn't you
have told me your name?"

Zuzu got up and walked around the table. She took his

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225

hands, held them. Tipped her head back to stare right into his flashing
green eyes. "It's nothing devious. My name shouldn't matter to anyone
but me. I had no idea you'd find out today."

"Well, it does matter."

"Why?"

He dropped her hands and started pacing. "Because in my worry, I wound
up explaining to my family that you were gone. They all helped me search
for you today. They also watched as I discovered that you weren't who
you said you were."

She winced.

"Wouldn't an engaged man know his fiancee's legal name?"

"That's why I came back."

"Ah! But why did you leave in the first place?"

Zuzu knew she couldn't ask Kyle to stop pacing and sit down, so she just
started talking. "Last night was incredible—the best night of my life,"
she confessed. "But it presented a problem for me."

He stopped walking, but he didn't look at her. "Why?"

"This great guy said he loved me and asked me to marry him." She caught
his eye, smiling sweetly, then shrugged, as if that were the whole
story.

Kyle frowned, but he'd at least picked up on her silly attempt at humor.
"That sounds pretty awful," he said.

"But I hadn't told him some very basic truths about myself and my life,"
she said. "Painful things that I'd never imagined telling anyone. I'd
never gotten close enough to anyone before. I'd thought I'd die as some
eccentric old maid whom everyone liked but no one really knew."

Kyle smiled, and this time it was a real smile that formed crinkles at
the corners of his eyes and went a long way toward making Zuzu feel
better. She hoped that loving force

226


was smiling down on her now, as she told her story for the first time.

"I'm Sue Clark," she said. "I was born in Wichita thirty years ago, on
December thirteenth. My mother was very young and scared, and she didn't
make it inside the hospital. I was born in a cold alley, next to the
hospital trash bins. My mother left me there, on top of a flat of
cardboard, covered by her coat."

Kyle strode across to Zuzu and pulled her into his arms. After the
longest, warmest hug she'd ever felt, he kissed her tears away.

When Zuzu started to talk again, he shushed her. "No. That's enough," he
whispered, kissing her. "I understand. I don't need to know more."

"But you do," she said. "The newspapers carried the story of Baby Sue,
Kyle. National newspapers. When you told me we needed to interview to
help the business, I realized I had to tell you everything or leave you
in peace. I didn't know if the reporters would find those old articles,
but I couldn't risk hurting you in that way.

"I'm sorry I left you this morning," she said. "I grew up thinking that
when things got hard, it was easier to just leave."

He frowned. "Because everyone left you, in childhood."

"Right. It wasn't easy today, though. I hated hurting the man who'd
stuck around long enough to really know me."

They both smiled at that.

"You do know me," she assured.

Kyle nodded, his eyes dark and wet. Then he kissed her for a long time,
and the kisses moved from loving to hot, which surprised Zuzu after the
ordeal they'd both been through.

But then Kyle stopped and gazed into her eyes, as if he

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227

was searching for something far within their depths. Then he smiled.
"That's it, then. Everything is okay. We 're going to be great."

He sounded so sure.

Zuzu frowned. She still saw quite a bit of trouble ahead. "Well, but how
will we explain this to your family?" she asked. "They'll want answers."

"Piece of cake," Kyle said, his tone gentle.

"Oh, yeah?"

"We'll tell them that before today, our love was unschooled and
immature. That we both needed to figure a few things out, but that now
we feel every bit of its powerful strength."

"That's all?" she asked, imagining the headlines linking Kirkwood's
beloved restaurateur with Baby Sue Clark.

Kyle appeared to be astonished by her question. "Isn't that enough?"

She laughed.

He pulled her close again, and murmured in her ear. "Anything else you
want to tell is on your own time, in your own way. I believe you'll
discover that most people will be content to hear about a couple in
love."

She backed up and smiled at him.

"But no, that's not all."

She tilted her head, curious. "What now?"

He picked up her left hand and examined the costume ring she still wore
on her ring finger. "I need an answer so we can reconsider this
engagement-ring idea. Will you marry me, Zuzu Clark?"

"If you buy me a new ring, everyone will know we weren't engaged in the
first place."

He sighed. "Just wear this one on your right hand and tell everyone I've
fallen in love with you twice so far," he

228


said. "Or we can spill the whole story, I don't care. I just need an
answer. Now!"

She grinned, inexplicably pleased with his bossy tone. "Yes. The answer
is yes."

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Epilogue

"Are you ready for this?" Kyle asked, glancing around the table at his
family.

"Sheesh, Dad. Of course we're ready," Alex said, rolling her eyes.
"Everyone in the restaurant has been watching our table all night. Get
to the smooching already."

Kyle smiled at her, then pushed back his chair.

However, when his dad stood up abruptly beside him, Kyle remained
seated. Suddenly, he had a better idea. He handed his dad a fork, then
nudged a water glass closer to him. "Go ahead, Dad. Hit it," he said.

His dad scowled. "What?"

"Hit the glass with your fork," Zuzu said, chuckling as she caught on to
Kyle's plan. "Bang on it."

Eddie smiled at her. "Pretty little woman."

Zuzu smiled back, then picked up her own fork and glass and started
making a racket.

Kyle stood up next to his dad, waiting patiently.

After the restaurant crowd had quieted and turned to look, Zuzu put down
her fork and glass and took her place next to Kyle, standing as close to
him as usual. After eighteen months, she still acted like a honeymoon
bride.

Thank God.

230


They'd actually gone to Kauai for a month right after the marriage
ceremony, but even now their romance kept deepening. Zuzu had blossomed
into a woman who was never afraid to show her husband how much she
cared, out of the bedroom and in it.

Considering their houseful of kids, that was a real accomplishment.

"Thanks for your attention," Kyle said, his glance taking in several
groups of regulars.

Over time, bits and pieces of Zuzu's story had come out. By now, almost
everyone in Kirkwood knew the whole truth—about the pretend engagement
as well as Zuzu's past. Kyle had taken quite a lot of ribbing from some
of his buddies about those hot, public kisses, but everyone had just
thought Zuzu was that much more amazing. She'd been surprised by the
reaction, but Kyle hadn't.

Now he took her hand and squeezed it. "My wife has an announcement to
make."

Zuzu beamed across the table, at a particular seven-year-old girl.
"Mallory is joining our family on a permanent basis," she said. "Her
adoption will be final next week."

Kyle smiled at Mallory, too. The freckle-faced redhead had had a
hellacious beginning, but she'd never been able to convince Zuzu that
she wasn't lovable.

Now she was as much a part of the family as anyone else. Eddie had
already commented that his son would need a table for six. Mallory sat
between Sydney and Chelsea, sporting an adorably toothless grin. She was
usually quite a dynamo, but the applause caused her to bury her face in
her hands.

Kyle knew how to take the pressure off her. He held a hand up. "Wait, I
want to say something."

231


231

The Tiers customers had grown accustomed to these announcements. They
quieted quickly.

"I just want to say it again. Zuzu, I love you more every day. We might
have stumbled into our relationship, but I couldn't be happier. Thank
you for marrying me."

"I love you, too, Kyle." Zuzu reached up and kissed him soundly, as she
always did. Much to the delight of the crowd, they both let the kiss
linger a few seconds too long. That part was never planned.

Then Kyle ordered drinks all around, and he and Zuzu sat down to eat
dessert with their family.

A single clang sounded, hollow and loud.

Kyle realized that his dad was banging on his glass. He started to reach
for the fork, but since his dad was already standing there clanging, he
decided to wait. To see what would happen.

He'd learned that little trick from his wife.

A few restaurant patrons laughed, but Kyle's dad kept banging on the
glass. After a minute, when things were quiet again, he looked at Zuzu
and grinned. "The little lady needs a boy," he said. "But she's gonna
have a baby, next year."

He nodded, as if pleased, and then he sat down and plunged his fork into
a piece of chocolate-pecan pie.

Kyle frowned at Zuzu, who frowned back and shook her head. He considered
standing up to tell everyone that Zuzu wasn't pregnant, but all of a
sudden having a baby didn't seem like such a bad idea.

They would need a table for seven—a lucky number.

If they had a boy, he'd suggest that they name it Eddie. If they had a
girl, Zuzu could choose the name. It might be slightly unusual—maybe
Zoya or Jojo, but he knew she'd think long and hard about something so
important.

232


Zuzu tilted her head at him. "Looks like we have something to talk about
later," she said.

"I believe so," he said, winking at her. Then he followed his father's
lead and forked a mouthful of Jenny's caramel-stuffed pears, eating with
a grin and complete enjoyment. Eddie Harper might be growing more
confused every day, but he still managed to come up with some of the
best ideas.

*****

233
Turn the page far excerpts from

next month's four lively and delightfid books

from American Romance!

234


235
Archer's Angels by Tina Leonard (American Romance #1053)

Archer Jefferson—he's brother number eight in Tina's COWBOYS BY THE
DOZEN miniseries. Enjoy this popular author's high-energy writing,
quirky characters and outrageous situations. And in June, come back for
more with Belonging to Bandera! Available in February 2005.

Clove Penmire looked around as she got off the bus in Lonely Hearts
Station, Texas. For all her fascination with cowboys and the lure of the
dusty state she'd read so much about, she had to admit that small-town
Texas was nothing like her homeland of Australia.

A horse broke free from the barn across the street, walking itself
nonchalantly between the two sides of the old-time town. A cowboy
sprinted out of the barn and ran after his horse, but he was laughing as
he caught up to it.

Clove smiled. From the back she couldn't tell if the man was handsome,
but he was dressed in Wranglers and a hat, and as far as she could tell,
this cowboy was the real thing.

And she had traveled to Texas for the real thing.

That sentiment would have sounded preposterous, even to Clove, just a
month ago. Until she'd learned that her

236
Archer's Angels

sister, Lucy, couldn't have a baby. Of course, people all over the world
couldn't always conceive when they wanted to. They adopted, or pursued
other means of happiness. She hadn't been too worried—until Lucy had
confessed that she thought her husband might leave her for a woman who
could bear children.

Clove's thoughts then took a decidedly new trajectory, one that included
fantasies of tossing her brother-in-law into the ocean.

Now the cowboy caught her interested gaze, holding it for just a second
before he looked back at his horse. The man was extremely handsome.
Breathtakingly so. Not the cowboy for her, considering her mission, and
the fact that she was what people politely referred to as.. .a girl with
a good personality.

She sighed. If Lucy had gotten all the beauty, their mother always said
with a gentle smile, then Clove had gotten all the bravery. Which was
likely how she'd ended up as a stuntwoman.

She watched the cowboy brush his horse's back with one hand, and fan a
fly away from its lovely flame-marked face. He was still talking to it;
she could hear low murmuring that sounded very sexy, especially since
she'd never heard a man murmur in a husky voice to her.

"Archer Jefferson!" someone yelled from inside the barn. "Get that
cotton-pickin', apple-stealin', dog-faced Appaloosa in here!"

"Insult the man, but not the sexy beast!" he yelled back.

Clove gasped. Archer Jefferson! The man she'd traveled several time
zones to see! Her Texas Archer of two years' worth of e-mail
correspondence!

He was all cowboy, more cowboy than she'd come mentally prepared to
corral. "Whoa," she murmured to herself.

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Tina Leonard

237

Okay, a man that drool-worthy did not lack female friends. Why had he
spent two years writing to a woman he'd never meet? She wrinkled her
nose, pushed her thick glasses up on her nose and studied him further.
Tight jeans, dirty boots. Long, black hair under a black felt hat—he'd
never mentioned long hair in their correspondence. Deep voice. Piercing
blue eyes, she noted as he turned around, catching her still staring at
him. She jumped, he laughed and then he tipped his hat to her as he
swung up onto the "dog-faced" Appaloosa, riding it into the barn in a
manner the stuntwoman in her appreciated.

Just how difficult would it be to entice that cowboy into her bed?
Archer had put ideas about his virility in her mind, with his
Texas-sized bragging about his manliness and the babies popping out all
over Malfunction Junction ranch.

Seeing him, however, made her think that perhaps he hadn't been bragging
as much as stating fact. Her heart beat faster. He'd said he wasn't in
the relationship market.

But a baby, just one baby....

238


239
Her Secret Valentine by Cathy Gillen Thacker (American Romance #1054)

This is the entertaining and emotional fifth installment in Cathy's
series, THE BRIDES OF HOLLY SPRINGS. With a little help from Cupids—and
the close-knit Hart clan—a long-distance couple has a Valentine's Day
reunion they'll never forget! You'll be captivated by Cathy's trademark
charm, but you'll also identify with the real issues explored in this
book—the tough choices faced by a two-career couple in today's world.
Available in February 2005.

"How long is this situation between you and Ashley going to go on?" Mac
Hart asked.

Cal tensed. He thought he'd been invited over to his brother Mac's house
to watch playoff football with the rest of the men in the family. Now,
suddenly, it was looking more like an intervention. He leaned forward to
help himself to some of the nachos on the coffee table in front of the
sofa. "I don't know what you mean."

"Then let us spell it out for you," Cal's brother-in-law, Thad Lantz,
said with his usual coachlike efficiency.

Joe continued. "She missed Janey's wedding to Thad in

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Her Secret Valentine

August, as well as Fletcher's marriage to Lily in October, and Dylan and
Hannah's wedding in November."

Cal bristled. They all knew Ashley was busy completing her OB/GYN
fellowship in Honolulu. "She wanted to be here but since the flight from
Honolulu to Raleigh is at least twelve hours, it's too far to go for a
weekend trip. Not that she has many full weekends off in any case." Nor
did he. Hence, their habit of rendezvousing in San Francisco, since it
was a six- or seven-hour flight for each of them.

More skeptical looks. "She didn't make it back to Carolina for
Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year's this year, either," Dylan
observed.

Cal shrugged and centered his attention on the TV, where a log of
pregame nonsense was taking place. "She had to work all three holidays."
He wished the game would hurry up and start. Because the sooner it did,
the sooner this conversation would be over.

"Had to or volunteered?" Fletcher murmured with a questioning lift of
his dark eyebrows.

Uneasiness settled on Cal. He'd had many of the same questions himself.
Still, Ashley was his wife, and he felt honor-bound to defend her. "I
saw her in November in San Francisco. We celebrated all our holidays
then." In one passion-filled weekend that had, oddly enough, left him
feeling lonelier and more uncertain of their union than ever.

Concerned looks were exchanged all around. Cal knew the guys in the
family all felt sorry for him, which just made the situation worse.

Dylan dipped a tortilla chip into the chili-cheese sauce. "So when's
Ashley coming home?" he asked curiously.

That was just it—Cal didn't know. Ashley didn't want to talk about it.
"Soon," he fibbed.

All eyes turned to him. Cal waited expectantly, know-

241
Cathy Gillen Thacker

241

ing from the silence that there was more. Finally, Joe cleared his
throat. "The women in the family are all upset. You've been married
nearly three years now, and most of that time you and Ashley have been
living apart."

"So?" Cal prodded.

"So, they're tired of seeing you unhappy." Dylan took over where Cal had
left off. "They're giving you and Ashley till Valentine's Day—"

Their wedding anniversary.

"—to make things right."

"And if that doesn't happen?" Cal demanded.

Fletcher scowled. "Then the women in the family are stepping in."

242


243
Cupid and the Cowboy by Carol Finch (American Romance #1055)

Carol Finch is a widely published author making her debut in American
Romance—and we're delighted to welcome her! She writes with genuine wit
and charm, and she brings you characters you'll like instantly—not to
mention a wonderful and vivid sense of place. You'll soon discover that
Moon Valley, Texas, is your kind of town.... Available February 2005.

"Damn, here she comes again."

Third time this week that Erika Dunn had shown up uninvited at his ranch
house. She was making it difficult for Judd to settle into his
self-imposed role as a recluse.

Judd Foster peered through the dusty slats of the mini-blinds and heavy,
outdated drapes that covered his living-room window. She had the kind of
unadvertised and understated beauty that intrigued a man who'd been
trained to look beyond surface appearances. The woman didn't just walk
to his house; she practically floated. She was too vibrant, too
energized. He didn't want her coming around, spreading good cheer and
flashing that infectious smile.

He just wanted to be left alone.

His attention shifted to the covered dish in her hand.

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Cupid and the Cowboy

Judd's mouth watered involuntarily. He wondered what delicious culinary
temptation she had delivered this time. More of that melt-in-your-mouth
smoked chicken that had been marinated in pineapple juice and coated
with her secret concoction of herbs and spices? Or something equally
delectable? Apparently, Erika figured the most effective way to coax a
man out of his property was to sabotage his taste buds and his stomach.

Judd focused on Erika's face. Her face was wholesome arid animated and
her eyes reminded him of a cloudless sky. Her ivory skin, dotted with
freckles on her upturned nose, made her look fragile and delicate—a
blatant contrast to her assertive, bubbly personality. She was part
bombshell-in-hiding and part girl-next-door. A woman of interesting
contrasts and potential.

Judd watched Erika balance the covered plate in one hand while she
hammered on the front door with the other. He knew she wouldn't give up
and go away, so he opened the door before she pounded a hole in it. "Now
what?" he demanded.

Erika beamed an enthusiastic greeting as she sailed, uninvited, into his
house.

The instant Judd felt himself leaning impulsively toward her, he
withdrew and stiffened his resistance. "The answer is still no," he said
right off.

Might as well beat her to the punch and hope she'd give up her ongoing
crusade to buy his property. He didn't want her to sweet-talk him into
signing over the old barn that held fond childhood memories. He didn't
want to salivate like Pavlov's dogs when the aromatic smoked meat, piled
beneath a layer of aluminum foil, whetted his appetite.

Undaunted, Erika thrust the heaping plate at him and smiled radiantly.
"No what? No, you won't do me a favor

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Carol Finch

245

by taking this extra food off my hands? No, you've decided to stop
eating altogether?"

She glanced around the gloomy living room, shook her head in
disapproval, then strode to the west window. "Really, Judd, it should be
a criminal offense to keep this grand old house enshrouded in darkness.
It looks like vampire headquarters."

Leaving him holding the plate, she threw open the drapes, jerked up the
blinds and opened all three living room windows. Fresh air poured into
the room, carrying her scent to him. Judd winced when blinding sunbeams
speared into the room, spotlighting Erika's alluring profile—as if he
needed another reminder of how well proportioned she was.

He didn't. Furthermore, he didn't want to deal with the lusty thoughts
her appearance provoked. He didn't want to like anything about Erika
Dunri. Erika was too attractive, too optimistic. Too everything for a
man who'd become cynical and world-weary- afteii years of belly-crawling
around hellholes in third world countries.

He wondered what it was going to take to discourage Erika from waltzing
in here as if she owned the place and trying to befriend a man who was
completely unworthy of friendship. He hadn't been able to protect the
one true friend he'd had in the past decade and that tormented him. He
didn't want anyone to depend on him or expect anything from him.

246


247
Emergency Engagement by Michele Dunaway (American Romance #1056)

In this emotional story by Michele Dunaway, you'll find a classic
plot—the "engagement of convenience"—and a group of very contemporary
characters. Michele is known for this appealing combination of enduring
themes and likable characters who live up-to-the-minute lives! Available
February 2005.

He wasn't supposed to be there. It wasn't his night; in fact, this week
he wasn't supposed to deal with any emergencies unless they occurred
during normal office hours.

But because of a wedding, there'd been a shortage of pediatricians to
staff the pediatric emergency floor. So, when his partner had asked,
Quinton had agreed to take Bart's shift. Even though it was a Friday
night, Quinton had nothing better to do.

Which, when he stopped to think about it, was pathetic. He, Dr. Quinton
Searle, pediatric specialist, should have something to do. At
thirty-five, he should have some woman to date, some place to be,
something.

But the truth was that he didn't, which was why, when the call came
through, he was in the wrong place at the right time. He turned to
Elaine. He liked working with her.

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Emergency Engagement

At fifty-something she'd seen it all, and was a model of brisk
efficiency, the most reliable nurse in any crisis. "What have 1 got?" he
asked.

"Four-year-old child. Poison Control just called. The kid ate the
mother's cold medicine. Thought it was green candy."

He frowned as he contemplated the situation. "How many?"

Elaine checked her notes. "The mother thinks it was only two tablets,
but she isn't sure. The container's empty."

Great, Quinton thought. He hated variables. "Is she here yet?"

Elaine shook her head. "Any minute. She's on her way. Downstairs knows
to buzz me immediately so we can bring the kid right up."

Quinton nodded. "Downstairs" was slang for the main emergency room. As
part of the Chicago Presbyterian Hospital's patient care plan, a
separate emergency floor had been set up especially for children.
Children were triaged in the main E.R., and then sent up to the
pediatric E.R. He shoved his hand into the pocket of his white doctor's
coat. "Let me know the minute you get the buzz."