Yankee Doodle

Yankee Doodle went to town
    Riding on a pony,
Stuck a feather in his cap
    And called it "macaroni."

Yankee Doodle, keep it up,
    Yankee Doodle, dandy,
Mind the music and the step,
    And with the girls be handy.

Father and I went down to camp,
    Along with Captain Gooding,
And there we see the men and boys,
    As thick as hasty pudding.

And there we see a thousand men,
    As rich as 'Squire David;
And what they wasted every day,
    I wish it could be saved.

The 'lasses they eat every day,
    Would keep a house in winter;
They have so much that, I'll be bound,
    They eat it when they're a mind to.

And there we see a swamping gun,
    Large as a log of maple,
Upon a deuced little cart,
    A load for father's cattle.

And every time they shoot it off,
    It takes a horn of powder,
And makes a noise like father's gun, 
    Only a nation louder.

I went as nigh to one myself
    As Siah's underpinning;
And father went as nigh again,
    I thought the deuce was in him.

Cousin Simon grew so bold
    I thought he would have cock'd it;
It scared me so, I shrink'd it off,
    And hung by father's pocket.

And Captain Davis had a gun,
    He kind of clapped his hand on't,
And stuck a crooked stabbing iron
    Upon the little end on't.

And there I see a pumpkin shell
    As big as mother's basin;
And every time they touch'd it off,
    They scampered like the nation.

I sec a little barrel too,
The heads were made of leather,
They knock'd upon't with little clubs
And call'd the folks together.

And there was Captain Washington
    And gentlefolks about him;
They say he's grown so 'tarnal proud
    He will not ride without 'em.

He got him on his meeting clothes,
    Upon a slapping stallion,
He set the world along in rows,
    In hundreds and in millions.

The flaming ribbons in his hat,
    They look'd so tearing fine, ah!
I wanted pockily to get
    To give to my Jemimah.

I see another snarl of men
    A-digging graves, they told me,
So 'tarnal long, so 'tarnal deep,
    They 'tended they should hold me.

It scar'd me so, I hook'd it off,
    Nor stopp'd, as I remember,
Nor turned about, till I got home,
    Lock'd up in mother's chamber.

                       • • •

            [Earlier stanzas]

Brother Ephraim sold his cow
    And bought him a commission,
And then he went to Canada
    To fight for the nation.

But when Ephraim he came home
    He proved an arrant coward,
He wouldn't fight the Frenchmen there
    For fear of being devour'd.

Sheep's head and vinegar,
    Buttermilk and tansy,
Boston is a Yankee town
    Sing Hey Doodle Dandy.

First we'll take a pinch of snuff,
    And then a drink of water,
And then we'll say, "How do youdo"—
    And that's a Yankee's supper.

Aminadab is just come home,
    His eyes all greas'd with bacon,
And all the news that he could tell
    Is Cape Breton is taken.

Stand up, Jonathan,
    Figure in thy neighbor;
Vathen, stand a little off
    And make the room some wider.

Christmas is a-coming, boys,
    We'll go to Mother Chase's,
And there we'll get a sugar dram
    Sweetened with molasses.

Heigh ho for our Cape Cod,
    Heigh ho Nantasket,
Do not let the Boston wags
    Feel your oyster basket.

Punkin' pie is very good
    And so is apple lantern,
Had you been whipp'd as oft as I
    You'd not have been so wanton.

Uncle is a Yankee man,
    I' faith, he pays us all off,
And he has got a fiddle
    As big as Daddy's hog trough.

Seth's mother went to Lynn
    To buy a pair of breeches,
The first time Vathen put them on
    He tore out all the stitches.

Dolly Bushel let a fart,
Jenny Jones she found it,
Ambrose carried it to mill
Where Doctor Warren ground it.

Our Jemimah's lost her mare
    And can't tell where to find her,
But she'll come trotting by and by
    And bring her tail behind her.

Two and two may go to bed,
Two and two together;
And if there is not room enough,
Lie one atop o' t' other.