Paddy talks to him and tells him hes a good dog and were hungry and
go home to your mother.The dog licks Paddys face and trots away wav-
ing his tail and Paddy is delighted with himself.We stuff apples into our
shirts till we can barely get back over the wall to run into a long field
and sit under a hedge eating the apples till we cant swallow another bit
and we stick our faces into a stream for the lovely cool water.Then we
run to opposite ends of a ditch to shit and wipe ourselves with grass and
thick leaves. Paddy is squatting and saying,Theres nothing in the world
like a good feed of apples, a drink of water and a good shit, better than
any sangwidge of cheese and mustard and Dotty ONeill can shove his
apple up his arse.
There are three cows in a field with their heads over a stone wall
and they say moo to us. Paddy says, Bejasus, tis milkin time, and hes
over the wall, stretched on his back under a cow with her big udder
hanging into his face.He pulls on a teat and squirts milk into his mouth.
He stops squirting and says, Come on, Frankie, fresh milk. Tis lovely.
Get that other cow, theyre all ready for the milkin.
I get under the cow and pull on a teat but she kicks and moves and
Im sure shes going to kill me. Paddy comes over and shows me how to
do it, pull hard and straight and the milk comes out in a powerful
stream.The two of us lie under the one cow and were having a great
time filling ourselves with milk when theres a roar and theres a man
with a stick charging across the field.Were over the wall in a minute
and he cant follow us because of his rubber boots. He stands at the wall
and shakes his stick and shouts that if he ever catches us well have the
length of his boot up our arses and we laugh because were out of harms
way and Im wondering why anyone should be hungry in a world full
of milk and apples.
Its all right for Paddy to say Dotty can shove the apple up his arse
but I dont want to rob orchards and milk cows forever and Ill always
try to win Dottys apple peel so that I can go home and tell Dad how I
answered the hard questions.
Were walking back through Ballinacurra.Theres rain and lightning
and we run but its hard for me with the sole of my shoe flapping and
threatening to trip me. Paddy can run all he wants in his long bare feet
and you hear them slapping on the pavement. My shoes and stockings
are soaked and they make their own sound,squish,squish.Paddy notices
that and we make a song from our two sounds, slap slap, squish, squish,
slap squish, squish slap.We laugh so hard over our song we have to hold
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