ple committing all kinds of sins you wouldn’t find in Limerick, getting divorces, committing adultery. Adultery. I still have to find out what that word means, look it up in the library. I’m sure it’s worse than what the masters taught us, bad thoughts, bad words, bad deeds. I take my chips home and get into bed like The Abbot. If he has a few pints taken he sits up eating his chips from the Limerick Leader and singing “The Road to Rasheen.” I eat my chips. I lick the News of the World.  I lick the stories about people doing shocking things. I lick the girls in their bathing suits and when there’s nothing left to lick I look at the girls till The Abbot blows out the light and I’m committing a mor- tal sin under the blanket. I can go to the library any time with Mam’s card or Laman Grif- fin’s. I’ll never be caught because Laman is too lazy to get out of bed on a Saturday and Mam will never go near a library with the shame of her clothes. Miss O’Riordan smiles.The Lives of the Saints are waiting for you, Frank.Volumes and volumes. Butler,O’Hanlon,Baring-Gould. I’ve told the head librarian all about you and she’s so pleased she’s ready to give you your own grown-up card. Isn’t that wonderful? Thanks, Miss O’Riordan. I’m reading all about St. Brigid, virgin, February first. She was so beau- tiful that men from all over Ireland panted to marry her and her father wanted her to marry someone important. She didn’t want to marry anyone so she prayed to God for help and He caused her eye to melt in her head so that it dribbled down her cheek and left such a great welt the men of Ireland lost interest. Then  there’s  St. Wilgefortis,  virgin  martyr,  July  twentieth.  Her mother had nine children, all at the same time, four sets of twins and Wilgefortis the odd one, all winding up martyrs for the faith.Wilgefor- tis was beautiful and her father wanted to marry her off to the King of Sicily.Wilgefortis was desperate and God helped her by allowing a beard and a mustache to grow on her face, which made the King of Sicily think twice but sent her father into such a rage he had her crucified beard and all. St. Wilgefortis is the one you pray to if you’re an Englishwoman with a troublesome husband. 302