bleeding to death. I want him to tell me, Fear not, but the step is cold
and theres no light, no voice. Im sure hes gone forever and I wonder
if that happens when you go from nine to ten.
Mam doesnt bleed to death. Shes out of the bed next day getting
the baby ready for baptism, telling Bridey she could never forgive her-
self if the baby died and went to Limbo, a place for unbaptized babies,
where it may be nice and warm but, still, dark forever and no hope of
escape even on the Judgment Day.
Grandma is there to help and she says, Thats right, no hope in
heaven for the infant thats not baptized.
Bridey says it would be a hard God that would do the likes of that.
He has to be hard, says Grandma, otherwise youd have all kinds of
babies clamorin to get into heaven, Protestants an everything, an why
should they get in after what they did to us for eight hundred years?
The babies didnt do it, says Bridey.Theyre too small.
They would if they got the chance, says Grandma.Theyre trained
for it.
They dress the baby in the Limerick lace dress we were all baptized
in. Mam says we can all go to St. Josephs and were excited because
there will be lemonade and buns after.
Malachy says, Mam, whats the babys name?
Alphonsus Joseph.
The words fly out of my mouth,Thats a stupid name. Its not even
Irish.
Grandma glares at me with her old red eyes. She says, That fella
needs a good clitther on the gob. Mam slaps me across the face and
sends me flying across the kitchen. My heart is pounding and I want to
cry but I cant because my father isnt there and Im the man of the fam-
ily.Mam says,You go upstairs with your big mouth and dont move from
that room.
I stop at the seventh step but its still cold, no light, no voice.
The house is quiet with everyone gone to the chapel. I sit and wait
upstairs, knocking the fleas off my arms and legs, wishing I had Dad
here, thinking of my little brother and his foreign name,Alphonsus, an
affliction of a name.
In awhile there are voices downstairs and there is talk of tea,
sherry, lemonade, buns, and isnt that child the loveliest little fella in the
world, little Alphie, foreign name but still an all still an all not a sound
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