Nothing.You’re doomed. Can’t I light a candle or something. You could try the Blessed Virgin. She’s in charge of the doom. But I don’t have a penny for the candle. All right, all right, here’s a penny.You can give it back when you get a job a million years from now. ’Tis costing me a fortune to be the expert on Girls’ Bodies and Dirty Things in General. The barman is doing a crossword puzzle and he says to Peter,What’s the opposite of advance? Retreat, says Peter. That’s it, says the barman. Everything has an opposite. Mother o’ God, says Peter. What’s up with you, Peter? says the barman. What was that you said before,Tommy? Everything has an opposite. Mother o’ God. Are you all right, Peter? Is the pint all right? The  pint  is  grand, Tommy,  and  I’m  the  champion  of  all  pint drinkers, amn’t I? Begod an’ you are, Peter. No denyin’ that to you. That means I could be the champion in the opposite department. What are you talking about, Peter? I could be the champion of no pints at all. Ah, now, Peter, I think you’re going a bit far. Is the wife all right at home? Tommy, take this pint away from me. I’m the champion of no pints at all. Peter turns and takes the glass from Mikey. We’re going home to your mother, Mikey. You didn’t call me Cyclops, Dad. You’re Mikey.You’re Michael. We’re going to England. No more pints for me, no pints for you, no more bread baking for your mother. Come on. We’re leaving the pub and Tommy the barman calls after us,You know what ’tis, Peter. ’Tis all them bloody books you’re reading.They have your head destroyed. Peter and Mikey turn to go home. I have to go to St. Joseph’s to light the candle that will save me from the doom but I look in the win- dow  of  Counihan’s  shop  and  there  in  the  middle  is  a  great  slab  of 255