not a proper Catholic and if he had a fit and died who knows where he
might wind up in the next life. Hes not a proper Catholic because he
could never receive his First Communion for fear of getting anything
on his tongue that might cause a fit and choke him.The master tried
over and over with bits of the Limerick Leader but Mikey kept spitting
them out till the master got into a state and sent him to the priest, who
wrote to the bishop, who said, Dont bother me, handle it yourself.The
master sent a note home saying Mikey was to practice receiving Com-
munion with his father or mother but even they couldnt get him to
swallow a piece of the Limerick Leader in the shape of a wafer.They even
tried a piece of bread shaped like the wafer with bread and jam and it
was no use. The priest tells Mrs. Molloy not to worry. God moves in
mysterious ways His wonders to perform and surely He has a special
purpose for Mikey, fits and all. She says, Isnt it remarkable he can swally
all kinds of sweets and buns but if he has to swally the body of Our Lord
he goes into a fit? Isnt that remarkable? She worries Mikey might have
the fit and die and go to hell if he has any class of a sin on his soul
though everyone knows hes an angel out of heaven. Mikey tells her
God is not going to afflict you with the fit and then boot you into hell
on top of it.What kind of a God would do a thing like that?
Are you sure, Mikey?
I am. I read it in a book.
He sits under the lamppost at the top of the lane and laughs over his
First Communion day, which was all a cod. He couldnt swallow the
wafer but did that stop his mother from parading him around Limerick
in his little black suit for The Collection? She said to Mikey,Well, Im
not lying so Im not. Im only saying to the neighbors, Heres Mikey in
his First Communion suit.Thats all Im saying,mind you.Heres Mikey.
If they think you swallied your First Communion who am I to contra-
dict them and disappoint them? Mikeys father said, Dont worry,
Cyclops.You have loads of time. Jesus didnt become a proper Catholic
till he took the bread and wine at the Last Supper and He was thirty-
three years of age. Nora Molloy said,Will you stop calling him Cyclops?
He has two eyes in his head and hes not a Greek. But Mikeys father,
champion of all pint drinkers, is like my uncle Pa Keating, he doesnt
give a fiddlers fart what the world says and thats the way Id like to be
myself.
Mikey tells me the best thing about First Communion is The Col-
116