would if I thought it wouldnt destroy her entirely. Lin Yütang, indeed.
Out.
Theres no use trying to talk to librarians when theyre in that state.
You could stand there for an hour telling them all youve read about
Brigid and Wilgefortis and Agatha and Ursula and the maiden martyrs but
all they think about is one word on one page of Lin Yütang.
The Peoples Park is behind the library. Its a sunny day, the grass is
dry, and Im worn out begging for chips and putting up with librarians
who get into a state over turgid and Im looking at the clouds drifting
above the monument and drifting off myself all turgid till Im having a
dream about virgin martyrs in bathing suits in the News of the World pelt-
ing Chinese writers with sheeps bladders and I wake up in a state of
excitement with something hot and sticky pumping out of me oh God
my male organ of copulation sticking out a mile people in the park giv-
ing me curious looks and mothers telling their children come over here
love come away from that fella someone should call the guards on him.
The day before my fourteenth birthday I see myself in the glass in
Grandmas sideboard.The way I look how can I ever start my job at the
post office. Everything is torn, shirt, gansey, short pants, stockings, and
my shoes are ready to fall off my feet entirely. Relics of oul decency, my
mother would call them. If my clothes are bad Im worse. No matter
how I drench my hair under the tap it sticks out in all directions.The
best cure for standing up hair is spit, only its hard to spit on your own
head.You have to let go with a good one up in the air and duck to catch
it on your poll. My eyes are red and oozing yellow, there are matching
red and yellow pimples all over my face and my front teeth are so black
with rot Ill never be able to smile in my life.
I have no shoulders and I know the whole world admires shoulders.
When a man dies in Limerick the women always say, Grand man he
was, shoulders that big and wide he wouldnt come in the door for you,
had to come in sideways.When I die theyll say, Poor little divil, died
without a sign of a shoulder. I wish I had some sign of a shoulder so that
people would know I was at least fourteen years of age.All the boys in
Leamys had shoulders except for Fintan Slattery and I dont want to be
like him with no shoulders and knees worn away from prayer. If I had
any money left Id light a candle to St. Francis and ask him if theres any
chance God could be persuaded to perform a miracle on my shoulders.
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