are in a state of sin and should be taken to the priest for confession
before their Confirmation tomorrow.
But Mam says, I dont know about the rest of the world but I saved
a whole year for Franks Confirmation suit and Im not going to the
priest to have him tell me my son is not fit for Confirmation so that Ill
have to wait another year when he grows out of this suit and all because
he climbed a spout for an innocent gawk at the scrawny arse of Mona
Dooley.
She drags me home by the ear and makes me kneel before the Pope.
Swear, she says, swear to that Pope that you didnt look at Mona Doo-
ley in her pelt.
I swear.
If youre lying you wont be in a state of grace for Confirmation
tomorrow and thats the worst kind of sacrilege.
I swear.
Only the bishop himself could forgive a sacrilege like that.
I swear.
All right. Go to bed and from this day out stay far away from that
misfortunate Quasimodo Dooley.
We are all confirmed the next day.The bishop asks me a catechism
question,What is the Fourth Commandment? and I tell him,Honor thy
father and thy mother. He pats my cheek and that makes me a soldier
of the True Church. I kneel in the pew and think of Quasimodo locked
in the coal hole under the stairs and I wonder, Should I give him the
shilling anyway for his career at the BBC?
But I forget all about Quasimodo because my nose starts bleeding and
I feel dizzy. Confirmation boys and girls are outside St. Josephs with
their parents and there is hugging and kissing in the bright sun and I
dont care. My father is working and I dont care. My mother kisses me
and I dont care.The boys talk about The Collection and I dont care.
My nose wont stop and Mam is worried Ill ruin my suit. She runs into
the church to see if Stephen Carey, the sacristan, would spare her a rag
and he gives her some kind of canvas cloth that makes my nose sore.She
says, Do you want to make your collection? and I tell her I dont care.
Malachy says, Do, do, Frankie, and hes sad because I promised Id take
him to the Lyric Cinema to see the film and stuff ourselves with sweets.
I want to lie down. I could lie down there on the steps of St. Josephs
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