side or Ill give you a good clitther on the gob. She wont come into
Aunt Aggies flat. She cant stand the sight of us one more minute.
Shes fed up with the whole McCourt clan from the days when she
had to send six fares to bring us all back from America, dishing out
more money for funerals for dead children, giving us food every
time our father drank the dole or the wages, helping Angela carry on
while that blaguard from the North drinks his wages all over England.
Oh, shes fed up, so she is, and off she goes across Henry Street with
her black shawl pulled up around her white head, limping along in her
black high-laced boots.
When youre eleven and your brothers are ten, five and one, you
dont know what to do when you go to someones house even if shes
your mothers sister.Youre told to leave the pram in the hall and bring
the baby into the kitchen but if its not your house you dont know what
to do once you get into the kitchen for fear the aunt will yell at you or
hit you on the skull. She takes off her coat and takes it to the bedroom
and you stand with the baby in your arms waiting to be told. If you take
one step forward or one step to the side she might come out and say
where are you going and you dont know what to answer because you
dont know yourself. If you say anything to your brothers she might say
who do you think youre talking to in my kitchen? We have to stand
and be quiet and thats hard when theres a tinkling sound from the bed-
room and we know shes on the chamber pot peeing away. I dont want
to look at Malachy. If I do Ill smile and hell smile and Michael will
smile and theres danger well start laughing and if we do we wont be
able to stop for days at the picture in our heads of Aunt Aggies big
white bum perched on a flowery little chamber pot. Im able to control
myself. I wont laugh. Malachy and Michael wont laugh and its easy to
see were all proud of ourselves for not laughing and getting into trou-
ble with Aunt Aggie till Alphie in my arms smiles and says Goo goo and
that sets us off.The three of us burst out laughing and Alphie grins with
his dirty face and says Goo goo again till were helpless and Aunt Aggie
roars out of the room pulling her dress down and gives me a thump on
the head that sends me against the wall baby and all. She hits Malachy
too and she tries to hit Michael but he runs to the other side of her
round table and she cant get at him. Come over here, she says, and Ill
wipe that grin off your puss, but Michael keeps running around the
table and shes too fat to catch him. Ill get you later, she says, Ill warm
your arse, and you, Lord Muck, she says to me, put that child down on
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