What is it now? My grandma says, Holy water or ordinary water? Ordinary water, and tell your grandmother not to be bothering me again. I told her, Ordinary water, Grandma, and he said don’t be bother- ing him again. Don’t be bothering him again.That bloody ignorant bogtrotter. I asked Mam, Can I go now and make The Collection? I want to see James Cagney. Grandma  said, You  can  forget  about The  Collection  and  James Cagney because you’re not a proper Catholic the way you left God on the ground. Come on, go home. Mam said,Wait a minute.That’s my son.That’s my son on his First Communion day. He’s going to see James Cagney. No he’s not. Yes he is. Grandma said,Take him then to James Cagney and see if that will save his Presbyterian North of Ireland American soul. Go ahead. She pulled her shawl around her and walked away. Mam said, God, it’s getting very late for The Collection and you’ll never see James Cagney.We’ll go to the Lyric Cinema and see if they’ll let you in anyway in your First Communion suit. We  met  Mikey  Molloy  on  Barrington  Street. He  asked  if  I  was going to the Lyric and I said I was trying.Trying? he said.You don’t have money? I was ashamed to say no but I had to and he said,That’s all right. I’ll get you in. I’ll create a diversion. What’s a diversion? I have the money to go and when I get in I’ll pretend to have the fit and the ticket man will be out of his mind and you can slip in when I let out the big scream. I’ll be watching the door and when I see you in I’ll have a miraculous recovery.That’s a diversion.That’s what I do to get my brothers in all the time. Mam said, Oh, I don’t know about that, Mikey.Wouldn’t that be a sin and surely you wouldn’t want Frank to commit a sin on his First Communion day. Mikey said if there was a sin it would be on his soul and he wasn’t a proper Catholic anyway so it didn’t matter. He let out his scream and 130