again in the pram so whats the use of washing him. Michael is small but
hes always saying remarkable things like that.
We push the pram out to the rich avenues and roads but when we
knock on the doors the maids tell us go away or theyll call the proper
authorities and its a disgrace to be dragging a baby around in a wreck
of a pram that smells to the heavens a filthy contraption that you
wouldnt use to haul a pig to the slaughterhouse and this is a Catholic
country where babies should be cherished and kept alive to hand down
the faith from generation to generation. Malachy tells one maid to kiss
his arse and she gives him such a clout the tears leap to his eyes and
he says hell never in his life ask the rich for anything again. He says
theres no use asking anymore, that we should go around the backs of
the houses and climb over the walls and take what we want. Michael
can ring the front doorbells to keep the maids busy and Malachy and I
can throw coal and turf over the walls and fill the pram all around
Alphie.
We collect that way from three houses but then Malachy throws a
piece of coal over a wall and hits Alphie and he starts screaming and we
have to run forgetting Michael, still ringing doorbells and getting abuse
from maids. Malachy says we should take the pram home first and then
go back for Michael.We cant stop now with Alphie bawling and peo-
ple giving us dirty looks and telling us were a disgrace to our mother
and Ireland in general.
When were back home it takes a while to dig Alphie out from
under the load of coal and turf and he wont stop screaming till I give
him bread and marmalade. Im afraid Mam will leap from her bed but
she only mumbles on about Dad and drink and babies dead.
Malachy is back with Michael, with stories of his adventures ring-
ing doorbells. One rich woman answered the door herself and invited
him into the kitchen for cake and milk and bread and jam. She asked
him all about his family and he told her his father had a big job in
England but his mother is in the bed with a desperate disease and calling
for lemonade morning noon and night. The rich woman wanted to
know who was taking care of us and Michael bragged we were taking
care of ourselves, that there was no shortage of bread and marmalade.
The rich woman wrote down Michaels name and address and told him
be a good boy and go home to his brothers and his mother in the bed.
Malachy barks at Michael for being such a fool as to tell a rich woman
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