Ah, pension my arse. Sixteen years of age an talking about the pen-
sion. Is it coddin me you are? Do you hear what I said, Frankie? Pen-
sion my arse. If you pass the exam youll stay in the post office nice and
secure the rest of your life.Youll marry a Brigid and have five little
Catholics and grow little roses in your garden.Youll be dead in your
head before youre thirty and dried in your ballocks the year before.
Make up your own bloody mind and to hell with the safeshots and the
begrudgers. Do you hear me, Frankie McCourt?
I do, Uncle Pa.Thats what Mr. OHalloran said.
What did he say?
Make up your own mind.
True for Mr. OHalloran. Tis your life, make your own decisions
and to hell with the begrudgers, Frankie. In the heel o the hunt youll
be going to America anyway, wont you?
I will, Uncle Pa.
The day of the exam Im excused from work.Theres a sign in an
office window on OConnell Street, SMART BOY WANTED, NEAT HAND-
WRITING, GOOD AT SUMS, APPLY HERE TO MANAGER, MR. MCCAFFREY,
EASONS LTD.
I stand outside the place of the exam, the house of the Limerick
Protestant Young Mens Association.There are boys from all over Lim-
erick climbing the steps to take the exam and a man at the door is hand-
ing them sheets of paper and pencils and barking at them to hurry up,
hurry up. I look at the man at the door, I think of Uncle Pa Keating and
what he said, I think of the sign in Easons office, SMART BOY WANTED.
I dont want to go in that door and pass that exam for if I do Ill be a
permanent telegram boy with a uniform, then a postman, then a clerk
selling stamps for the rest of my life. Ill be in Limerick forever, grow-
ing roses with my head dead and my ballocks all dried up.
The man at the door says,You, are you coming in here or are you
goin to stand there with your face hanging out?
I want to say to the man, Kiss my arse, but I still have a few weeks
left in the post office and he might report me. I shake my head and walk
up the street where a smart boy is wanted.
The manager,Mr.McCaffrey,says,I would like to see a specimen of your
handwriting, to see, in short, if you have a decent fist. Sit down there at
that table. Write your name and address and write me a paragraph ex-
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