The door of the priests house swings open and the people rush
with their hands out. I can hear them, Brother, brother, here, brother,
ah, for the love o God, brother. Five children at home, brother. I can see
my own mother pushed along. I can see the tightness of her mouth
when she snatches at a bag and turns from the door and I push the pram
up the street before she can see me.
I dont want to go home anymore. I push the pram down to the
Dock Road, out to Corkanree where all the dust and garbage of Lim-
erick is dumped and burned. I stand a while and look at boys chase rats.
I dont know why they have to torture rats that are not in their houses.
Id keep going on into the country forever if I didnt have Alphie bawl-
ing with the hunger, kicking his chubby legs, waving his empty bottle.
Mam has the fire going and something boiling in a pot. Malachy
smiles and says she brought home corned beef and a few spuds from
Kathleen OConnells shop.He wouldnt be so happy if he knew he was
the son of a beggar. She calls us in from the lane and when we sit at the
table its hard for me to look at my mother the beggar. She lifts the pot
to the table, spoons out the potatoes one each and uses a fork to lift out
the corned beef.
It isnt corned beef at all. Its a great lump of quivering gray fat and
the only sign of corned beef is a little nipple of red meat on top.We stare
at that bit of meat and wonder who will get it. Mam says, Thats for
Alphie. Hes a baby, hes growing fast, he needs it. She puts it on a saucer
in front of him. He pushes it away with his finger, then pulls it back. He
lifts it to his mouth, looks around the kitchen, sees Lucky the dog and
throws it to him.
Theres no use saying anything.The meat is gone.We eat our pota-
toes with plenty of salt and I eat my fat and pretend its that nipple of
red meat.
251