Claire Simms stood in the gold-and-green dining area of the Haddington Country Club and looked at the man staring up at her from bended knee. Edward was twelve years her senior, but he was considered a prize, a dream man, the man every woman wanted, and right now he was saying the words every woman wanted to hear from him.
"Be my wife, Claire?" he said. "Let's make it next week, right here. The mayor will be free. I'd like him to attend."
Claire blinked, and yet…she knew she should say yes. All her life she'd wanted to settle down right here in Haddington, Illinois. She'd planned to marry by age 28, start having babies at 30 and have her fifth child by the time she reached 40. Men who looked like Edward, with his education and background, didn't just jump out of the woodwork to propose to reserved, average-looking schoolteachers like herself. This must be a gift, a sign, her last chance to fulfill her dreams since she was only two days away from her twenty-eighth birthday. So why wasn't she saying yes?
Claire took a deep breath. "Yes," she said firmly, trying out the word. Immediately, panic seized her, and she fought for words. "No. I don't know," she said.
Edward frowned. "Don't tell me you don't like me, Claire," he said, as if no woman had ever told him such a thing. She supposed that no woman had. He held out the ring. "A family heirloom," he said.
"No. I mean, yes," she stammered. Surely this was meant to be, this marriage at this time in her life. She had been alone for so long. Edward was a nice man. He had all the traits she'd always claimed she wanted. They made a good couple. He would give her the babies she longed for.
She took the ring…and suddenly there was a commotion at the other side of the restaurant.
Claire looked up to see a tall, dark-haired man making his way through the crowd, a man she hadn't seen in five years. He stopped just ten feet away from her.
"Making a scene at a party again, Claire?" he asked with a grin.
She blushed. Josh Thornhill, despite his wealth, would never have been called the man of any woman's dreams. There was too much of the devil in his green eyes. He was never serious and very seldom around for very long. He never broke promises because he never made them. Marriage wasn't even a possibility with a man like Josh.
And, of course, he was reminding her of a day years ago when they had been standing next to each other at a dance. His mother had insisted he ask Claire to dance, but he hadn't. He had simply stood there and talked to her, even though he had danced with other girls. Angry at his mother for playing the she's-my-best-friend's-daughter card, Josh had teased Claire about being too serious and suggested that she was green as grass.
She had had a crush on him forever, and this was just too much to bear. Loudly, she declared that she had kissed tons of boys in Haddington and she intended to kiss more soon. Unfortunately, the music had stopped at just that moment, and the entire room had heard her lie. To his credit, Josh had threatened to punch any guy who talked about kissing Claire and he apologized to her five times for being a jerk and begged her to be his friend again. But the damage had been done. She had refused to come out of her house for a week. And here he was reminding her of that awful day again.
But years had passed. She was not that green girl anymore.
"I guess it just must be you, Josh," she said with an attempt at a smile. "You always bring out the worst in me." Of course, that wasn't true. Staring into his deep green eyes, Claire realized that what he brought out in her was…very foolish. Maybe she was still that green girl.
Josh shrugged. "I try to please, Claire," he told her.
She raised her brow at that. "Josh," she drawled.
"You're right. I'm horrid," he agreed with a smile, using the teasing term she had called him as a teenager. They had been friends, but friends who had both wanted very different things in life. He wanted to travel, climb mountains and be free and unencumbered forever. She wanted security, home and a family, nothing more. The thought of leaving home for long petrified her. And climb a mountain? Never.
"You're not horrid. You're just Josh," she said.
At that moment Edward cleared his voice. "Claire," he said, and there was no misinterpreting the anger in his voice.
Claire jerked guiltily. "I'm so sorry," she said to the man still down on one knee. "Edward, this is Josh Thornhill, an old friend. And Josh, this is…"
"Claire's fiancé," Edward said firmly. Claire blinked, realizing that, yes, it was true. She was engaged.
Josh stared down at the man, who was glaring up at him. "Whoa, you look uncomfortable," Josh said.
"I was in the middle of proposing," Edward retorted. "I would do anything to make Claire my wife."
"So I've heard," Josh said, his green eyes suddenly hard as well.
It was a tone of voice Claire hadn't heard from Josh too often in her life. He was always laughing, rarely serious. Why was he looking at Edward that way, and what exactly did he mean by that last comment?
"Josh, you haven't been back in five years," she said softly. "You've been overseas all this time."
He turned to gaze at her. "I know." His voice dipped low. His green eyes were fierce, his complete attention on her, and for a minute, she felt dizzy and weak. It was a familiar feeling, one she didn't want to give in to ever again, because it only made her ache and left her sleepless night after night.
"So…Josh, why did you come back?" she asked.
"So, Josh, why have you come back to Haddington after all these years away?"
Josh noticed that Claire was blushing. Because of the guy kneeling on the floor? He didn't know, and for some reason he didn't even want to think about that. When he'd thought of Claire in the past few years, she'd never been with a man, especially not a man who was claiming the right to touch her.
Arrogant of him to have never thought of Claire that way, especially since she was so pretty when she blushed. Had he ever noticed that about her before?
Josh shrugged. Why was he back? He'd asked himself the same question several times in the past few days since he'd decided to drop in on Claire and his family.
"Happy birthday, Claire," he said softly, and he finally realized just why he had returned. "It's your twenty-eighth, an especially significant one, isn't it?" he asked, remembering that she had always planned to be engaged by this day so that she could be married and have all those babies she wanted.
She gazed up at him with those solemn gray eyes he'd seen in his dreams at those times in his life when he'd been brought low…or when he'd been on the verge of doing something incredibly stupid.
"I can't believe you remembered that about my twenty-eighth birthday."
Remember? He hadn't been able to forget, especially not these past few months. She'd become a nightly obsession, and he'd come here to end the obsession.
"How could I forget? We were friends. I wanted to make sure you were happy, to see if you'd achieved your goals, if your dreams were coming true." He wouldn't discuss her dreams in front of that guy, even if Edward was the man Claire was going to spend her life with. Friends didn't reveal each other's secrets.
"I guess they are," she said, her voice slightly hesitant. She looked down at Edward who was finally getting to his feet. Josh felt a slight sense of selfish glee when he noticed that Edward's hair was thinning on top.
"You're doing what you wanted. That's good, then." But no sense of satisfaction shot through him. He and Claire had both had their dreams, his to travel and see the world, hers to settle down. They were both achieving those goals, so…why wasn't he celebrating? He and Claire might have only been friends, but…well, who was this guy, Edward, who was claiming Claire for his own?
On closer inspection, he looked a bit familiar.
"Have we met?" he asked Edward.
Edward looked at Josh's shaggy dark hair and shuddered. "I'm sure we haven't." Then Edward reached out and adjusted the strap of Claire's dress, which had slipped down her shoulder, as if it offended him in some way.
Josh narrowed his eyes. "How did you and Claire meet?"
"Josh," Claire said, and to his astonishment, her gray eyes flashed warning sparks. Interesting. Claire had always been quiet — the calm to his storm. She had never flashed sparks.
He smiled. "A friend is entitled to ask these questions, Claire," he told her.
"A friend is not entitled to grill." She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. Josh was instantly charmed. He'd missed this, he realized — Claire's prissiness, her ability to keep him on the straight and narrow. For long years, in all of his travels for the family firm, no one had attempted to rein him in. Most people kowtowed to him, and Claire had never done that.
"Oh? What is a friend entitled to do?" His voice dropped low, and she blushed again. More furiously this time. Edward gave Josh a stern look. Pompous ass.
Claire looked up directly into Josh's eyes at that moment, and he was instantly ashamed for making her uncomfortable. "A friend would ask politely," she said.
"Then I'm asking, Claire," he said. "Your dreams appear to be coming true. Are you happy?"
She didn't answer right away, and that troubled him. "I'm satisfied," she said, which wasn't the same thing at all. "Edward is a perfect gentleman."
And he had never been that, Josh admitted to himself. He had dated every girl in town except Claire and had developed quite a reputation.
It was a good thing he hadn't targeted Claire. He would have been so bad for her, but…she didn't look ecstatic the way a newly engaged woman should look.
He looked at Edward, who was positively preening at Claire's description of him. There was just something about the man…something awfully familiar and wrong. What was it?
Josh didn't know. At the moment he didn't especially care about the specifics. He held out his hand to Claire. "Come on," he coaxed.
She stared at his hand and blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Come with me," he said. "Like old times. I'll try to get you in trouble and you keep me from doing something stupid."
"Don't tease, Josh."
"I'm not. Come with me."
Edward placed a hand on Josh's arm. "She's not going anywhere with you."
Josh ignored him. "Come with me, Claire. I promised my mother I'd bring you for a visit. She wants to see you. Told me she'd skin me alive if I didn't bring you."
He winked, coaxing her in the old way. He had always tried to get her to do things she didn't want to by telling her there would be dire consequences for him if she didn't go along. She had never gone along. He had loved that; that shy as she was, she had never let him snow her. But this time…
"Please, Claire. No consequences for either of us. Just a woman who cares about you asking for a visit. I promise. A woman who loves you and misses you. You can even bring your…friend." He gave Edward a passing glance.
Claire smiled. "I haven't seen your mother for so long. After your father's death, when she remarried and started her art gallery fifty miles away, I…well, the distance seemed to keep us apart. Of course, I'd love to see her." She smiled up at Josh and he felt as if he'd been given a gift — one he'd received before but had never realized the value of.
Edward cleared his throat, and Claire jumped. "Oh, Edward," she said, blinking as if she had forgotten he was there. "Would you like to meet Josh's mother? Her name is Meredith Ashworth and she's quite a renowned artist over in Larkesville."
Edward went as pale as parchment. "Meredith Ashworth?"
"Is something wrong, Edward?" Claire asked.
"Edward, I asked if you wanted to meet Meredith Ashworth, Josh's mother, and you haven't answered. Is something wrong?"
"Wrong? What could be wrong?" Edward's voice seemed loud, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "No, of course I can't go meet her on a moment's notice. I have an appointment, Claire."
Claire nodded, fighting back a vague sense of discomfort. She turned to Josh, who was still holding out his hand to her. It had been years since she'd touched Josh. She probably shouldn't touch him now. "Let's go," she said. "It's getting late. I don't want to keep your mother up. I'll see you tomorrow, Edward." She placed her hand in Josh's.
His fingers closed over hers, and instantly heat and old memories flooded her. Edward was saying something but she wasn't quite sure what it was. She blinked at him as he walked away.
"Important man," Josh said.
"I'm sure he'd like to meet your mother under other circumstances," Claire said. "Who wouldn't? Meredith is such a wonderful woman and artist. Edward appreciates art."
"Does he appreciate you?" Josh asked, his voice deep. Claire glanced up into green eyes that had turned almost fierce. That was so unlike Josh. He was always the one to tease — the life of every party, the target of every woman.
She felt herself blushing.
"Ah, so he does appreciate you." Josh reached out to drag a finger across her warming skin.
"I…suppose he does," she said. "He asked me to marry him."
"And you said yes." Josh looked away and she studied his profile — the strong jaw, the dark hair that made women want to slide their fingers through it.
No, don't think that, she told herself.
"I said yes." She had, because Edward was right for her. Not like Josh, who always made her feel flushed and ridiculously female when he hardly even knew she was a female. Just having her hand in his was making breathing difficult. Could anything be more foolish? She and Josh were so different. They had never wanted the same things at all. He wanted freedom, not a family, and he had asked out every girl in school at one time or other. Except for her. The pain lanced through her. Stupid.
"We'd better go see your mother," Claire said, chasing away her thoughts. She moved with Josh toward his black Ferrari.
Claire laughed.
"What?"
"Your car. It's so you. Fast, shiny, aggressive. Like the toy everybody wants."
He turned at that and stared down at her, his eyes suddenly dark. "Everybody wants me, do they?"
She stifled a gasp. "I meant almost everybody. You know that I never angled for you the way most women did."
He studied her then. Too closely. It was so hard to maintain a semblance of composure when he was looking at her this way. "I know you never did. You were always the smart one, Claire. Have I told you how much I admire you?"
He winked then, and relief coursed through her. He was back to being the old Josh, the one who never knew that she envied those other girls. "What's not to admire?" she asked. "Now let's go."
He handed her into his car, climbed in and drove toward Larkesville.
For miles they rode in pleasant silence. She watched him, simply enjoying being quiet with him again. His skin was tanned; his shoulders were the broad shoulders of a man, no longer those of the boy she had known. Muscles tensed beneath his white shirt as he took a turn. Yes, Josh had changed. He was all male, and he had seen the world while she had stayed here in Haddington. Now she would marry Edward and live her life here as she'd always planned while Josh went back to his life of excitement.
"Is it everything you wanted?" she suddenly asked.
He turned to look at her and she tried not to want him. "Is what everything I wanted?"
"Your life. The travel, the thrills."
He smiled. "You say thrills as if I'm completely decadent."
"I never thought you were decadent!" she protested.
Josh chuckled. "Liar. You did. You admonished me for kissing Sally Braymore at my locker."
"Well, anyone could have seen you, Josh. A teacher might have given you a detention. You would have hated staying indoors on a Saturday morning."
He turned to look at her again. "Thank you, Claire."
"For what?"
Josh shook his head. "For being you. For caring whether I got caught. For being sweet."
She studied her fingernails. "I'm your friend," she said again, suddenly hating the word.
"You were always that. And now you'll be Edward's wife." He stopped the car, and Claire realized that they were in front of his mother's house.
"And you'll go back to your own world."
"Yes," he agreed. "You'll be happy, won't you?" He waited and when she didn't answer right away, he brushed her lips with his knuckles. "Say yes, Claire."
"Say yes to what?" a female voice asked, and Claire turned to see Meredith Ashworth standing beside the car. Her smile was radiant. She hugged Claire as Josh handed her out of the car.
"Claire's just gotten engaged, Mother. I was just asking her about her plans."
"Engaged?" For a minute, Meredith looked concerned. Then her smile returned. "That's wonderful then, Claire. Who's the lucky man?"
"His name is Edward Lyman."
"Edward Lyman?" Meredith's voice rose slightly. She gave her son a startled look.
"Mother, what's wrong?"
Meredith's fingers closed on Josh's arm. "Joshua, don't you remember? Your cousin Cynthia?"
And suddenly Josh's face looked like thunder. "That's it! I have seen Edward before. Photos, anyway."
Claire blinked. Her stomach lurched though she wasn't sure why. "You've seen pictures of Edward?"
Josh closed his eyes. He turned and took both of Claire's hands in his. "My cousin Cynthia was engaged to Edward last year. She and I — well, we haven't seen each other in a long time, but Mother sent me pictures over the Internet. It's the same man, Claire."
"I don't understand. Engagements get broken everyday," Claire said weakly.
Josh's mouth hardened into a thin line, but he didn't speak.
"Josh, you have to tell her," Meredith said. But still Josh didn't speak.
"Edward met Cynthia in Chicago," Meredith told Claire. "He was the perfect gentleman, everyone's darling…until Cynthia got pregnant. Then he told her that he needed a woman above reproach. A man with his prospects couldn't afford to have a child out of wedlock. He deserted her."
"I guess he forgot that it takes two to make a baby," Josh said, his voice tight. He turned and started toward the driver's side of his car.
Claire couldn't even react; she was so numb and confused.
"Josh, where are you going?" his mother asked.
But it was Claire that he looked at when he gave his response.
"Where are you going, Josh?" Claire repeated.
Josh noted the concern in her pretty gray eyes. Claire had always had such innocent eyes. It was why he'd never allowed himself to think of her romantically, he realized. He wanted her to stay innocent; to be untainted by his wild and willful attitude about life. He liked living free, and he didn't want to ever hurt Claire. And now…
"I'm going to see Edward and plant my fist in his face," he said. "A man like that has no business even daring to go near you. You deserve so much better."
Claire shook her head, her soft brown curls bouncing.
"Yes, you do." He reached out to touch her cheek, her skin irresistibly soft against his fingertips. Josh chided himself for that thought. He shouldn't be thinking of Claire that way.
"That's not what I meant," she said, smiling sadly. "I do deserve better. It's just that I don't want you to hit anyone for my sake. And I'm going with you."
"Claire…" he admonished.
"Josh." She planted her hands on her hips, looking adorably put out. "I'm nearing my twenty-eighth birthday. I'm a woman, not a girl you need to protect from harsh words the way you did at that dance when we were kids. If Edward really is a lying creep, then I get to confront him."
Okay, so maybe she was right. "All right," he said, "but don't expect me to act like someone I'm not."
"Josh, have I ever asked you to do that?"
She hadn't. She had always put up with him, even when he'd been unbearable. "You've always been a saint, Claire," he agreed.
"I have," she said with a sigh as he helped her back into his car. "How could you stand it?"
Suddenly he couldn't help smiling. She sounded so forlorn at the reminder that she was a good person.
"Sainthood's not a sin," he said as they waved goodbye to his mother.
Claire gave Josh the directions to Edward's house and they drove off.
"You were good for me, Claire," Josh continued. "Without you, I would have gotten in more trouble than I did. I owe you."
"And that's why you're doing all this?"
He stopped the car and turned to her. "I'm here because I want to be," he said, realizing it was true.
"Good, because having you here out of some sense of duty would make me very angry," she told him. "I don't want any debts between us."
"Agreed," he said, heading back down the road.
They drove in silence for a while. He breathed in the lavender scent of her and his heart gave a lurch. It had been too long since he'd spent this much time with her. He'd missed her — many times — and when he left her this time, he probably would never see her again, because if she didn't marry Edward, she would marry someone else. That should make him happy. Somehow it didn't.
"Is this it?" he asked, nodding toward a boxy gray house.
"Yes." Claire's voice was tense, and Josh turned toward her when he stopped the car. "You don't have to go in," he said. "I can take care of things."
She shook her head. "No, I can do it. What if he's not here?"
"Then I'll wait with you."
She flashed him a grateful smile. He climbed out of the car and helped her out, holding her hand as they walked up the steps. Her fingers were warm against his. She felt good, right, and…he should just stop that thought right there. He released her under the pretext of ringing the bell.
Moments later, Edward came to the door. "What the —"
Claire took a visible breath. "This won't take long, Edward. I just want to ask you about Cynthia, your former fiancée."
Edward scowled. "I don't know what you're talking about. Did he put you up to this? Ignore him, Claire. I know who he is, and he's trouble."
"He's my friend," Claire said carefully, and once more, Josh found himself hating the word friend. "And so is his mother. Neither of them are liars. Why did you desert Cynthia when she was carrying your baby?"
Edward shook his head. "Is that what they told you? The woman was a tart, Claire, not like you. The baby wasn't mine. What did you expect me to do?"
Josh barely suppressed a growl. He suddenly felt Claire's hand patting his arm, trying to soothe him the way she always had. His chest went tight.
"I expected you to behave honorably," she said firmly. "And I don't like men who call women by evil names."
"You liked me fine before this guy came along." Edward spit the words out. "I didn't realize you were so gullible, Claire."
Anger rose within Josh. He knew that Claire didn't want him to get physical with this jerk, and for her sake he would try to stay calm, but…
"You're moving into dangerous territory when you insult Claire," Josh said.
Edward laughed. "She's mine to do with as I wish."
Claire gasped. "I'm not any man's," she said, and Edward let out a roar.
"You did this," he yelled at Josh. "You're the cause of all this trouble." He lunged toward Josh, but Claire stepped forward at that moment. Edward's arms were flailing, and one elbow caught Claire in the chest. She flew back, and Josh caught her in his arms.
"I'm sorry, Claire," Josh said, steadying her. "I know you don't want this, but —" he looked at Edward "— you are in so much trouble. No one hurts Claire and gets away with it." And he drew back and smashed his fist into Edward's jaw.
The man staggered, but apparently anger had made him strong. He rushed at Josh.
Just then, Claire swung her purse, smacking Edward in the head. The man went down like a rock.
The world was suddenly silent. Claire blinked. "Josh? Is he —"
"He's fine," Josh reassured her. "Don't you dare start feeling guilty. He deserved this."
She nodded. "I know. Those things he said about your cousin…"
"Forget anything he said. I'm just sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted them to."
She shook her head. "It's better that I found out before it was too late. And I guess you have your answer. I haven't achieved my goals by my twenty-eighth birthday. It doesn't matter."
He took her face in his hands. "It matters to me, Claire. This was to be a special birthday."
Claire smiled at him. "It is special, Josh. My best friend came back for a visit."
Her smile almost undid him. He wanted to kiss her, badly. Instead, he brushed one thumb gently across her lips. "You were quite a wild woman back there, Claire. I've never seen you like that."
She blushed. "I've never seen me like that, either." She gazed up at him with those pretty gray eyes, and Josh nearly groaned. Suddenly he knew what he had to do.
Josh drove to Claire's house and walked her to her door. "Claire," he whispered. "There's one more day before your birthday. What do you want to do tomorrow?"
Claire stared up into Josh's green eyes. If she could do anything, she'd spend the day just looking at him, soaking him up for the long months ahead, but…
"You don't have to do this, Josh. My disastrous engagement isn't your problem. I don't want you to pity me."
Josh stroked a finger down her cheek. "Claire, I've admired and respected you, but I've never pitied you."
Admired. Respected. That was how a man felt about matrons. Her heart sank. Josh had spent a lifetime respecting her. Well, what else was a man like him supposed to do with someone like her? She remembered how his mother had made him dance with her. Was this like that time?
"Thank you, Josh, but I'm sure you'd like to spend some time with your family. I'll probably read a book."
He grinned suddenly. "Claire, aren't you the woman who just felled a man with a purse?"
"It was an automatic response."
"Maybe, but you were magnificent." He practically growled the words.
Her heart thumped harder. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that we have a lot of catching up to do, Claire. There's a wilder part of you I've never seen. I want to…see it."
Claire's breathing came faster. He was so dead wrong, but in a few days he would probably leave again. He might never come back.
"What do you want to do, Claire?"
She wanted to kiss him. And if she said that, he would be uncomfortable. Desperately, she tried to think of something interesting to do. But she wasn't a person who did interesting things, even if Josh thought she had suddenly added a new side.
"I want…"
His gaze rested on her lips. She thought she would faint. She wished she were another kind of woman; the kind who held a man's interest, the kind a man wanted to touch.
"You want…what?"
"I want to go skinny-dipping," she blurted out, unable to think of anything wild to do with a man like Josh. She realized she had gotten the idea from Jenny Porter back in high school, who had wanted the same thing with Josh.
Josh narrowed his eyes. "Claire?" His voice was hoarse.
She desperately forced out a laugh. "Gotcha'," she said. "Of course, I was kidding. That's not me." Even though a part of her wanted to be free to be that kind of woman with Josh; one who could hold all of his attention.
He still looked fierce. "What will we do together, Claire?"
Think, think, think, she told herself. Make it good, make it…not boring. "There's a county fair. Let's go there."
Josh tilted his head. "Whatever you want."
Oh, if he only knew. Thank goodness he never would. Now what could she wear that wouldn't spoil Josh's impression that she had a wild streak? There wasn't a thing in her closet that would be right.…
*****
Josh rang Claire's doorbell the next day, trying not to remember her comment about skinny-dipping. She had been teasing, of course. Even if Claire had a new wild side, she would never be the type to swim naked with a man, would she? He swallowed hard and tried not to think of Claire naked.
And there she was, wearing that sunny smile that always made him feel good, wearing a skirt that looked like it had been ripped off ten inches above the knee. His gaze dropped. Had she always had such long, delicious legs?
"I —you told me that you wanted to see my wild side. Sometimes I like to be a bit more casual than you might have remembered." She blushed when she said it, and he suddenly knew that she was lying. Claire had never been a good liar.
"Claire, don't pay any attention to me. Just wear what makes you feel good." Somehow he managed not to stare at her legs.
She nodded. "I guess a woman like me does look pretty silly in something like this."
"Silly? You look sexy as hell."
Her eyes opened wide. "Wild?" she asked hopefully.
And suddenly, he couldn't help grinning. His sometimes shy Claire was still inside that beautiful body. "Hot. I'll have to beat the men off."
"Be gentle," she said. "One of them might be my future husband."
Oh yeah, if anyone thought he was going to salivate over Claire's thighs and then get to marry her, that guy was going to have Josh to deal with. But he wouldn't make such an idiotic statement. She had a right to dress and marry as she pleased. He could have no say in the matter.
"Let's go," he said, following her to his car and trying not to watch how her hips swayed in the short skirt.
"Don't think," he told himself.
"Josh?"
"I meant that this is a day for just having fun."
They did. Claire wanted to do everything. They rode the Ferris wheel, the Tilt-a-Whirl and the bumper cars. They ate and drank and ate again as the day melted away and the stars came out. Josh won a stuffed dog for Claire by knocking over milk bottles. Claire tried her hand at darts and, though she was a miserable shot, she laughed and twirled in a circle, her hair floating out around her.
"This has been so much fun," she told Josh. "I never got to do things like this when I was young. My mother didn't approve of ladies getting hot and dirty."
He remembered now that her mother had been very strict.
"Do you dislike your life, Claire?" he asked, wondering if she had been trapped by her upbringing while he had been given his family's encouragement to roam.
She lifted one shoulder. "Ordinarily I like my quiet life, my simple goals, but I guess my past does make it hard to let loose. Not that this is all that wild, but thank you, Josh, for giving me this day. I know you did it because of what happened with Edward, but I still had fun."
"No," he said. "I did it because you are who you are."
She nodded. "Your friend."
No, he wanted to shout, but he didn't because to her that was what he always had been. He had no right to spoil things for her by telling her that he was finally realizing something. He wanted to be more than a friend to Claire, but being the man he was, he could never be more. It was most likely why he had never settled down. A man with his impulsive ways would only make a woman like Claire unhappy. He was fun for one day, but for more?
"I've always valued your friendship," he said, telling her the only truth he could reveal.
She continued to gaze at him, and it seemed to Josh that she didn't look as happy as she had a moment ago. Shaking her head, she looked up at the stars and suddenly he understood.
"Almost midnight," he whispered. "Almost your birthday."
"That's right," a man's voice broke in, and Josh turned to see Edward approaching. There was a lump on one side of his head and he looked a bit unkempt. He dropped on his knees before Claire. "I heard that you were here, and I came to find you. I'm sorry I lost my temper, Claire," he said, "but I still want you to marry me. You know that's what you want. Marriage to a man like me is what's right for a woman like you."
Josh wanted to take Claire away from there right away, but when he started to step forward, she shook her head. "It's all right," she told him. "And no, that's not what I want. Not anymore."
"What do you want?" Edward growled the words.
"I'll tell you what I want," she said with a smile that almost broke Josh's heart. She was so beautiful, so wonderful, and after tomorrow he would lose her again forever. But he wanted her to have anything she wanted and so he waited. He listened.
"This is what I want," Claire began.
"What do you want, Claire?" Claire heard Edward ask the question. She stared at him, still looking pompous even with that lump on the side of his head, and then at Josh. Josh, who had lived in her dreams all her life and could never be anything more. A practical woman, one who didn't want to live the rest of her life alone, would take what she had been offered. She would marry Edward.
What did she want? She looked at Josh and he gave her that half smile she had always loved, the one that made her heart ache for things that could never be. And she realized once again that when he left this time he might never return. Even her dreams would have to die then.
"This is what I want," she suddenly said. "I want to be wild for just a few minutes more. I want to see what this is like, just once." And she turned her back on Edward, ignored the warmth of a blush that was climbing up her throat, rose on her toes and awkwardly placed her lips against Josh's.
For what seemed like a hundred seconds nothing happened. She heard Edward's exclaimed, "Claire! Stop that, instantly!" As she touched Josh's chest with her fingertips, she felt him go rigid. She had probably shocked him. He was most likely trying to think of some way to get away from her, to let her down easy. Fear and humiliation crashed in on her.
Then Josh slid his arms around her, tugging her closer. He tilted his head and grazed her lips with his own. "Claire," he whispered. He deepened the kiss, plunging his fingers into her hair. His lips were warm, and when he pulled back to gaze at her for a second, his eyes were like green flames.
"Claire!" Edward admonished again.
"Go away, Edward," Josh said lazily without looking at the man. "Can't you see that Claire is kissing me?" Although, Claire thought, as Josh brushed her lips again, he seemed to be the one who was kissing her. And it was wonderful. It was everything she had always thought it would be — like fireworks a thousand times better than any she had ever seen, like the best fairy tale ever written, like a million roses all opening at once.
She slid her hands up to his shoulders — she dared to touch Josh in a way she had never thought she would. If this was all she would ever have, she would take it and not think of the consequences.
"That's enough, Claire," Edward said. "This is brazen. It's unforgivable."
Josh's hand clenched at her waist. She shook her head, not sure if she was more afraid that Josh would get into a fight with Edward or that he would stop touching her. "Edward, I'm sorry," she said, her voice shaking, "but I can't marry you. It would be wrong."
Suddenly, Josh leaned back an inch or two, though he kept his arms around her waist. "Why?" he said at the same time that Edward echoed the word.
She didn't want to say. She couldn't say, at least not the whole truth. "I know that I wanted to be married by my twenty-eighth birthday, but…I guess I never really thought about what it would be like to marry someone I don't love at all. Besides…" She looked to the side, knowing that her next statement would be a bit of a lie, but feeling that she needed to give Edward a good reason to leave. "I think I may be too wild for you, Edward. I like doing brazen things." At least I like doing them with Josh, she thought.
Edward frowned and opened his mouth to speak. She shook her head. "No, I'm not going to change my mind."
"You're making a serious mistake, Claire. One you're going to regret," he told her. "But you're right. I don't want a woman who can't control herself." Staggering to his feet, he turned and started to limp away.
Josh cleared his throat. "If that statement about regrets was a threat against Claire, Lyman, I suggest you rethink your position. If you come near her without her permission, I'll be down your throat in a heartbeat."
Edward looked as if he wanted to say something more, but he gave an angry lurch and marched away.
The silence crept in. Claire was increasingly aware of how close Josh was holding her — the warmth of his skin, the nearness of his mouth, the fact that he was studying her.
"You were lying, Claire," Josh said. "I can always tell when you lie. Why?"
Her heart began to race. "I wasn't lying. I wouldn't make a good wife for Edward."
Josh chuckled, his body vibrating against hers. Claire's throat went dry with desire. "I wasn't talking about what kind of a wife you would make, Claire, and you know it. You told him that you liked being brazen. I've known you forever, and that's never been you. I'm assuming that you kissed me to get rid of the man, and I'm glad he's gone. Because you wouldn't make a good wife for Edward. You're a thousand times too good for him," Josh whispered. "Or for any other man."
And that was when Claire got angry. She crossed her arms, awkwardly shoving them up between her body and Josh's. "I wasn't lying about wanting to be brazen. I'm tired of always being good," she said, although she knew she sounded like a petulant child.
He raised a brow. "Are you, now?"
She frowned up at him. "Yes. I didn't kiss you to get rid of Edward. And you certainly would never have kissed me."
Josh gave her a speculative look. "You're right. I would have considered it a breach of your trust to jump on you."
Pain washed through her.
"But I wanted to. I craved kissing you," he added with a low growl.
Claire blinked hard. Her breath came hard and fast, even though she knew he was just trying to let her save face. "Now who's the one who's lying? You're just trying to make me feel less embarrassed."
"Am I? Did it embarrass you to kiss me, Claire?"
"No! That is — all I meant was that I know I didn't give you any choice in the matter. It wasn't fair to kiss you just because I decided that I wanted to be a more exciting kind of person from now on."
"I see," Josh said. He gently slid one thumb across her cheek, and Claire looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry you want to change your style, Claire, because I've always loved the kind of person you are."
Claire felt tears forming. Josh was so good to everyone. "You're such a good friend," she managed to say.
And then Josh's eyes turned dark. He framed her face with his palms, held her still. His lips descended on hers. He kissed her again, and then he pulled back and gazed into her eyes, his own troubled. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt you, but I can't be just your friend, anymore, Claire. I know I'm completely, totally wrong for you and always have been, but…"
What was Josh saying? Claire dared to hope. Be brazen, be wild, she told herself. Take a chance, just this once.
She lurched forward and kissed Josh again, with all the passion she had ever felt for him. Her cheeks felt warm, hot actually, but she forced herself to look at him when she pulled back. "You were always right for me," she managed to say. "Even if you never felt that way about me."
Josh studied her carefully. "I never told you how I felt." His voice was deep and thick. He was looking at her in a way he had never looked at her before.
"No, you didn't, but you left me," Claire said. "You only came back because it was my birthday."
"I thought that was why I came back," Josh began, "but the truth is, I came back because I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I needed to make sure you were happy. I came back because I love you, Claire. I'm just not…right for you. I don't want to hurt you."
"You think loving me could hurt me?"
He blew out a breath. "I've always thought so. I once knew a girl who told me I was too wild and free. She was right."
Finally, Claire dared to hope and believe. She smiled. "She — that is, I, was wrong. I was just afraid you might realize how much I loved you. I do love you, you know, and I've wanted to kiss you for a long time. If you don't mind, I intend to kiss you again."
Josh closed his eyes and then he gave her a long, slow smile. "You are a wild and brazen woman, Claire, my love, my heart. Thank heavens you're finally mine." Then he lifted her high and swung her around as a church bell sounded somewhere in the distance.
Josh lowered her to the ground. "Happy Birthday, Claire," he whispered. "Come here and kiss me again."
Claire gladly complied. It was, after all, her birthday, and all she had ever really wanted was the man who now held her in his arms.
The End