An Eye For Acquisitions
by Bruce Holland Rogers
This story copyright 1995 by Bruce Holland Rogers. This copy was
created for Jean Hardy's personal use. All other rights are reserved. Thank
you for honoring the copyright.
Published by Seattle Book Company,
www.seattlebook.com.
* * *
Leonard Vriner felt it in his bones, that
old magnetic attraction that he hadn't felt in such a very long time. At first
he dismissed it. The mergers and acquisitions game as he used to play it was
dead, and there just weren't any easy pickings left to be exploited in a
corporate raid. But the more he talked to Moscarón, the more sure he felt of the
prospect: perhaps there really was one last plum to pluck.
"I can't believe you've never heard of greenmail,
Mr. Moscarón," Vriner said to the man he'd just met at the
thousand-dollar-a-plate political fund-raiser. "Surely, as CEO of... What was it
again?"
"WWW Service and Supply."
"Yes." Vriner filed the company name securely in his
mind. "As CEO, surely you've thought of how you would defend against an
unfriendly stock tender?"
"I don't think we'd have a
problem."
"Ah," Vriner said, sensing that the plum
might not be so ripe. Too bad. "You're closely held."
"Not at all," Moscarón said. "We have no majority
shareholders, and our shares trade on the exchange, but our many shareholders
want a board and officers who know our business. They are exceptionally loyal."
Vriner was careful not to laugh aloud. How often had
he heard that from directors and CEOs? But greed was a persuader that had never
failed him. Shareholders could always be bought.
"And what does WWW Service and Supply do, exactly?"
Vriner asked.
"We are," Moscarón said with a thin
smile, "diversified. And becoming more so all the time." The man's eyes were
brown with greenish tint, the color of pond scum. "But you were telling me, Mr.
Vriner, how you made your fortune. You said you have an eye for acquisitions.
Perhaps that's a talent my company can use down the road, when we're a bit more
sophisticated."
"My talents aren't for sale," Vriner
said, "and I haven't done that sort of deal for a long time."
"Still, it sounds interesting."
But Vriner changed the subject. Why let a naive
target know the rules of the game?
And Vriner knew
the game well. In the glory days of greenmail and the two-tier tender, in the
decade of boardroom bear hugs and bootstrap offers, he had learned the art of
the corporate raid. Yes, he did have an eye for acquisitions, a sixth sense for
weakling companies that he could buy a taste of and then devour like a shark. Or
if he didn't devour, he bit so hard that company's management bid up their own
stock to make the deal too pricey, and then he'd sell his stake for a bundle.
Win or lose, he made a lot of money. Win or lose, he enjoyed the game.
But the game had changed. The SEC made tougher
rules, and companies fought back with self-tenders and the Pac-Man counterbid.
Lock-up options and the crown jewel defense kept a company's most profitable
divisions out of a raider's reach. There were poison pills and blocking
preferreds, staggered boards and golden parachutes and all kinds of other shark
repellents. For a while, this had only made the game more challenging, but
finally the defense had the edge, and the game wasn't fun any more.
So rather than talk about mergers and acquisitions,
Vriner asked Moscarón what he thought of the Senator whose campaign they were
supporting at this dinner.
"I've only recently begun
to appreciate how useful a Senator can be," Moscarón said.
"You sound as if you own him," Vriner joked. "It
takes more than a thousand-dollar dinner to buy a United States Senator."
"Oh, I know that," Moscarón said. "I know exactly
what it takes." He took a small box from his vest pocket and opened it. The
inside of the lid read, WWWSS. "Would you care for a chocolate?"
"A product of your company?"
"A sideline. As I said, we're diversified."
"I'm allergic to chocolate."
"Pity," said Moscarón.
In the receiving line after the dinner and speech,
Vriner noticed that the Senator addressed his contributors by first name, and he
glanced into their eyes barely long enough to convey sincerity before he passed
on to the next person. "Andy, good to see you. How's business, Leonard?
Delighted to have your support. Hi, David, Sheila. Good to see you." But when
Moscarón came by, the Senator looked him in the eye long and hard. "Mr.
Moscarón," he said soberly. "Good evening, sir. I hope every little thing is
satisfactory." And Moscarón just smiled.
Maybe
Moscarón did own the Senator, and that would suggest that his company had
a very healthy cash flow indeed, or else some other attractive leverage that
would make the company worth owning.
Vriner called
his investment banker that night. "Listen," he said, "I think I've found a
Saturday Night Special."
"No way," Siegel told him.
"There hasn't been an overnight takeover since dinosaurs roamed the earth.
What's your supposed target?"
"WWW Service and
Supply."
"Never heard of them," Siegel said. "But
I'll take a look. I'll call you soon."
"Call me
sooner than soon. I've got a feeling."
In the
morning, Siegel paced Vriner's office and said, "Their numbers look sharp,
Leonard. But they can't be as unprotected as you say."
"Wide open," Vriner said. "I have it from the head
man himself. Now tell me why someone else hasn't gone after them."
Siegel shrugged. "Couple of reasons, I guess. One,
maybe no one has seen them. It's a low-profile stock, very thinly traded.
Weeks go by and no one buys or sells a share. The other thing is that, well,
even from their annual report, it's hard to tell exactly what they do. I mean,
they trade commodities I can't imagine anyone would want to buy. Cactus spines
and live owls. Dried roots and herbs you never heard of."
"And do they do this profitably?"
"They're healthy."
"Let
me see."
Vriner flipped through Siegel's report,
then passed it back to him. "I wouldn't care if they were cannibals trading in
human skulls, Aaron. I like these numbers. Buy me a quiet five percent, and
let's go hunting."
Siegel spread the stock trades
out over several weeks. Even so, the shares weren't easy to come by. He had to
bid the price up to shake loose sellers. "I don't know," he told Vriner. "This
is turning into an expensive stake. Maybe they've got wind of you. Making a
tender might not be worthwhile."
"I want the deal,"
Vriner said. "I want to play the game."
"So we go
anyway?"
"We go. On Friday, we go."
"It's late, and I'm rather busy," Moscarón said
irritably when Vriner called and insisted on an immediate meeting. "Can't this
wait until Monday?"
"I think you'd rather talk to me
now," Vriner said. "In any case, you have a fiduciary responsibility to hear
what I have to say. After all, I have a five percent stake in your company. I
believe that makes me one of your largest shareholders, if not the
largest."
Moscarón sighed. "All right, all right.
I'll meet you in my office. You'll have to show yourselves up. My staff is
already gone for the day. Do you know how to get here?"
Vriner hung up and smiled at Siegel. "The poor stiff
is so out of it that he doesn't know enough to be scared."
"Where in the hell did they get these colors?"
Siegel said as he rode the elevator with Vriner. From the outside, the corporate
headquarters for WWW Service and Supply had been ordinary enough-blue glass and
black steel. The outer lobby, too, was standard and conservative, if
surprisingly empty-an open, tiled atrium with a security station absent of
security guards. But beyond the public face of WWW, the carpets and wall
coverings were sickly shades of green and rust, colors that made the air seem
stale and thick. The inside of the elevator was the color of bread mold.
"That'll be the second thing that I get rid of,"
Vriner said, tapping the elevator wall.
"The first,
presumably, is Moscarón."
"I'm not going to have
someone so simple-minded running any company of mine."
"He does seem to have a Senator in his pocket, from
what you say."
"Anybody who's rich enough can do
that if he cares to."
"Don't kid yourself."
Moscarón's office was on the top floor, but it was
hardly what Vriner expected in an executive suite. Flames flickered in the
fireplace near Moscarón's desk, and the room was stuffy with stale smoke-not
wood smoke, but something more rancid, like the smoke from burnt hair. The
fluorescent lights seemed ordinary enough, but they cast a dim light that didn't
quite illuminate the corners of the expansive room.
"My time is short," Moscarón said. "Come, sit, and
tell me what this is about."
"What this is about,"
said Vriner, staying on his feet as Siegel sat down, "is my holding company's
offer for a controlling share of WWW Service and Supply. I told you I have an
eye for acquisitions, Moscarón. I also have a pretty good idea of what
constitutes an irresistible price. We're buying you out at thirty-two dollars a
share."
"I see," Moscarón said. "Well, it's out of
the question. The company is not for sale."
"We'll
see what your shareholders have to say about that. I want you to produce, by
tomorrow, a list of your owners."
"This company's
shareholders," Moscarón said, "are very private people. I'm sure they don't want
me passing out their names and addresses to anyone who asks. Now I have things
to do tonight. You will excuse me."
Vriner laughed,
and Siegel said, "You have a fiduciary responsibility to your shareholders to
let us make our offer known to them. Failure to live up to that responsibility
will land you in civil court."
"I'm a shareholder,
too," Vriner said. "My interests are your interests. Or they had better be."
Moscarón shook his head. "I don't want a court
battle just now. I haven't made arrangements for that sort of thing. But I don't
think you understand who you are dealing with. You say, Mr. Vriner, that you
have an eye for acquisitions. Perhaps you do. But in this case, your eye has
misled you. Our shareholders..."
Something moved in
the dark corner behind Moscarón.
"What's that?" said
Siegel.
"An owl," Moscarón said, and Vriner could
now see it in the shadows, a small owl on a tall perch.
Its eyes glinted from the darkness.
"I don't want excuses," Vriner told Moscarón. "I
want that list tomorrow."
"All right," said
Moscarón. "You'll have your list." He opened a confection box and pushed it
toward Siegel. "Would you care to try one of these?"
"We're taking over your company and you're offering
us chocolates?" Vriner said.
"You might as well know
something about what you're trying to take over."
Vriner waved off the offer, but Siegel accepted.
On their way out of the building, Vriner said, "You
see what I mean about this guy? He just doesn't get it."
Siegel didn't answer. He was fishing around in his
mouth with his tongue, and finally he gagged and reached in with his fingers. He
drew out a long, long black hair. Tied to the end of it was a wet little bundle
that looked like animal fur.
Siegel had the dry
heaves there in the empty hallway.
"Was that in the
chocolate?" Vriner said, looking at the glistening hair.
"Must have been," said the investment banker,
getting his breath. "You might be buying yourself a huge consumer product
liability suit, Leonard, if that's a standard ingredient." Siegel retched again
and spit into his handkerchief.
"Maybe that's
Moscarón's idea of a takeover defense," Vriner said with a smile. "Nauseate the
opposition."
"You still want to buy a company that
makes chocolate with hair in it?"
"I want a deal,
Aaron. I'm hungry for a deal."
"No one's selling,"
Siegel reported over the phone a week after the offer had been tendered.
"Aaron," said Vriner, reclining behind his desk,
"we're bidding five dollars above the last trade."
"Yeah, but that last trade was a week ago. There's
no movement. I can't even get anyone to report an asking price. It's as if we've
already bought up all the shares that are going to be sold." "Out of ten
thousand shareholders spread out all over the world, out of all these penny-ante
owners, you can't squeeze even a handful of shares?"
"Can't squeeze one share. It's like the word
is out that the stock will be worth a million a share tomorrow, you know?"
"No, I don't know. This doesn't happen. People get
greedy."
"I can't figure it, either, Leonard, but
I'm getting bids to buy back your stake at a little bit under what you paid for
it. I think maybe it's time to cut your losses and run."
"I don't run."
"Well,
maybe you do this time, if you're smart. Your own stock is trading at record
volume. There may be a move afoot to cut your feet out from under you."
Vriner sat up. "Moscarón?"
"I'm having Erlich & Bahr look into it. So far,
the orders are spread between a dozen street names, so if it's one buyer, he's
doing a hell of a job of disguising himself."
"I
didn't think the old boy had it in him," Vriner said, grinning, relishing a
fight.
"Don't take this lightly," Siegel said.
"You're heavily defended, but there's a lot of capital moving your shares. If
this is Moscarón, he has heavy hitters backing him."
"I'm going to put Logan Edwards on this. He can do a
background check on Moscarón, and I'll have him check out some of the
shareholders, too."
"That's going to get into some
money. Ninety percent of the shareholders are overseas."
"I don't care. I want to know who these people are.
What's their compelling interest in maintaining control? With a little insight,
Aaron, we can still break this open."
"You're the
boss, Leonard. Listen, though. I'm going to orchestrate this from bed for a day
or two. I don't feel so hot. Touch of flu, maybe."
"I need you on this, Aaron."
"Have I ever let you down?"
In wing tips, a business suit and neck tie, Logan
Edwards didn't look much like a gumshoe. On the other hand, he wasn't the usual
sort of private investigator.
"I've pushed it hard,"
Edwards said, looking from Vriner to Siegel. "I've got six of my best people
digging full-time into Moscarón, and we can't get much. I can tell you that he's
been in New York for ten years, has been CEO of WWWSS since incorporation, and
was in Gallup, New Mexico, before that. But I've had a hell of a time finding
anyone who knew him, and those who did know him won't talk at any price. They're
spooked, I think." Then to Siegel, Edwards said, "You don't look so good."
"No," Siegel said, blinking his red-rimmed eyes. "I
don't feel so hot, either."
Vriner wanted to stay
with business. "Mob connections?"
"Could be,"
Edwards said, "but I doubt it. There's not enough in Gallup to get the attention
of organized crime."
"What about the shareholders?
You've done background checks on them as well?"
"I've run into brick walls," Edwards said. "It's the
same story over and over. You wouldn't believe the places where holders of small
lots live. Tiny villages in Africa and South America. On the other hand, you've
got big industrialists in Germany and Spain, people of Moscarón's stature and
much bigger, and all of them are as opaque as can be. If my people meet them,
they won't talk, and their neighbors won't talk. I can't get squat."
"For three million dollars, that's what you give me?
Less than squat?"
Edwards held up his hands in a
gesture of helplessness. "I'm as frustrated as you are, Mr. Vriner."
"Not yet, you aren't, Edwards. From now on, you're
off retainer. Get out of my office." Edwards stood.
"Don't do this," Siegel said feebly. "Logan is the
best in the business."
"The best investigator in the
business," Vriner said, "would bring me useful information about my opponent.
For that matter, the best investment banker in the business, which you
used to be, would be finding his own ways to stop Moscarón."
"Short of a self-tender," Siegel said, "what can we
do? We know this is a tidal-wave open-market assault by a whole bunch of
coordinated buyers."
"Don't hand me excuses," Vriner
said. "Give me results!"
But things got worse. Two
loyal members of Vriner's board of directors died of sudden illnesses, and
another, Greg McCarthy, moved to call an emergency meeting to rewrite the
corporate charter.
"Rewrite it for what?"
Vriner said.
"To rescind your golden parachute,
Leonard. I think it's pretty much unanimous that we're a company with hardened
arteries."
"You can't dump me! I'll sue your ass!"
Then, more gently and reasonably, Vriner said, "I founded this company, Greg."
"Things change," McCarthy told him.
Moscarón wouldn't answer his phone. Time after time,
Vriner would call WWWSS, talk to a receptionist, and then be transferred to a
phone that rang forever. Vriner thought of leaving a message, but that would put
the ball in Moscarón's court. He decided to see the man in person, to catch him
off guard if possible, though he wasn't sure of exactly what his approach would
be if he could get through to him. Negotiate a compromise? Beg for mercy?
He went in the early evening when shadows were
lengthening and the streetlights were coming on. As before, the lobby of WWW
Service and Supply was empty.
Vriner took the
elevator up. There was no receptionist in the outer office. The door to
Moscarón's inner sanctum was unlocked.
A fire
crackled in the fireplace, and the room again smelled of a sickly smoke.
Moscarón was nowhere to be seen.
A shadow moved in
the corner-- the owl on its perch. Vriner steeped towards it for a
closer look. The owl turned at the sound of his approach, and Vriner squinted
into the dark to see it better. There was something strange about the animal,
but it the half light, it was hard to say exactly-- Vriner stepped
back.
The bird had no eyes. Where its eyes should
have been, there were only empty sockets. Vriner turned away from Moscarón's
repulsive pet, and when he did, he saw the yellowed orbs that sat in a dish on
Moscarón's desk.
There was no mistaking them, or
what they came from.
They were eyes. Human eyes the
color of pond scum, turned up on the dish so that they seemed to be looking at
him.
What he did next wasn't rational, and even as
he did it, Vriner knew that he should probably leave the things alone. But he
wanted them out of his sight, out of his memory. Retching, Vriner picked
up the dish and carried the eyes to the fire. He threw them in and heard them
pop and hiss in the flames.
Moscarón's call came the
next morning. "I'd like to come by for a chat with you and your banker," he
said. "Say at three?"
"Siegel's here with me now,"
Vriner said. "Why don't you come and get it over with."
"All right," Moscarón said. "Why not?"
Vriner hung up. "He's coming," he said.
Siegel-eyes rheumy, face pale-nodded. "At least it
will be over soon, Leonard."
Vriner closed his eyes.
It would, in fact, be almost a relief.
When the
receptionist showed him to the office, Moscarón started to come through, but
then bumped his shoulder against the doorjamb.
"Are
you all right?" the receptionist said, not knowing the enemy when she saw him.
"Fine, fine." Moscarón was wearing sunglasses. "You
can leave us," he said, as if she already worked for him.
The receptionist closed the door on her way out, and
Moscarón approached Vriner's desk somewhat hesitantly, groping for the chair
when he was still a foot away from it. Siegel got up and helped him. Moscarón
sat down heavily, as though grateful to quit navigating through the office.
"Well," Moscarón said to Vriner, "I have certainly
learned a lot from you." He reached into his pocket and put what looked like a
silver soup spoon on Vriner's desk. The handle was engraved with WWWSS.
"What's that?" Vriner said.
"An item from our catalogue."
"I didn't know there was a catalogue."
"As I told you when we met," Moscarón said, smiling
from behind the sunglasses, "we are a diversified company. But the catalogue
does not circulate widely."
"Why don't you cut the
crap," Vriner said, "and tell me that you're here to tender an unfriendly offer
for control of my company."
"I hardly need to do
that," Moscarón told him. "My associates already hold a majority interest in
Vriner Holdings, but in many small bites. We prefer to be subtle. No SEC filings
and disclosures this way. My associates are very private people."
"So I've learned."
"Have
you?" Moscarón said. "I still don't think you understand who we are." Then, to
Siegel, Moscarón said, "Show him, Aaron."
Vriner
looked at Siegel. Who was taking something out of a black case. "Aaron? You're
working both sides?"
"Only temporarily," Siegel
said. "After today, my services go exclusively to Mr. Moscarón."
"I'll sue your ass into kingdom come," Vriner said,
sitting up straight, sensing that all might not be lost after all.
"No you won't," Siegel said, and with a deft
movement, he flicked gray powder from the case into Vriner's face.
"What the hell-- " Vriner started to
say, but Moscarón uttered a syllable and Vriner froze in mid-sentence. He could
see, he could hear, but he could not speak or move.
"Nicely done," said Moscarón. "I thank you. My
current condition has naturally done nothing for my aim."
"All right," Siegel said. "He's yours. Now help me."
"I always fulfill my obligations, but I would thank
you to speak more respectfully."
Siegel lowered his
head. "Yes, Mr. Moscarón. Of course, Mr. Moscarón."
"Open your mouth."
Still
unable to move, or even to look away, Vriner watched as Moscarón coiled a long
hair onto Siegel's tongue.
"Swallow," he said, still
holding one end of the hair.
Siegel obeyed, and
Moscarón uttered another syllable, then began to pull gently on the hair. Siegel
gagged. "Easy, now," Moscarón said.
A black mouse,
squirming and covered with slime, erupted from Siegel's mouth. The banker turned
and vomited.
"Please!" Moscarón said. "Not on the
carpet!"
Siegel stayed doubled-over, catching his
breath.
"You understand," Moscarón said, "that there
are others. You'll be fine for a while, but if you don't come to me as they
mature, they'll fill your body. To the uninitiated, it will look like cancer."
"I understand," Siegel said, wiping his brow.
Already he looked better. "You have my unquestioned loyalty, Mr. Moscarón."
Moscarón turned toward Vriner. "Ah, Mr. Vriner," he
said. "How very helpful you have been to World-Wide Witchcraft Service and
Supply."
He sat down again, as if the business
meeting were to continue.
"You've taught us a lot,
sir. You've done a great deal to show us the way. Between a good investment
banker and a few hundred coordinated witches, I don't think there's a company in
the world that can resist us."
He stood again and
leaned toward Vriner with the mouse. Something wriggled through Vriner's lips,
and then Vriner felt Moscarón's fingers push the mouse past his tongue. It
squirmed down. Moscarón took off his glasses. Black and yellow eyes no bigger
than large marbles rolled in his eye sockets.
"Unfortunately, your little visit while I was out
conducting some night business deprived me of an important asset."
He picked up the spoon.
"We have a lot of advantages in a corporate
environment," Moscarón said. "Who, in the boardroom, believes in witches? Who
knows how to mount a defense against us?"
He leaned
forward, and one of the owl eyes almost rolled out of his head.
"But I can't very well do business looking like
this, can I? I think suspicions might arise. Agreed?"
Deep in his stomach, Vriner felt tiny teeth
beginning to gnaw. He'd scarcely have believed that something so small could
cause so much pain.
"You say you have an eye for
acquisitions."
Moscarón slid the edge of the spoon
beneath Vriner's eyelid. If Leonard Vriner hadn't been frozen into silence, he
would have screamed.
"I wonder," Moscarón said,
"which one it is?"
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