Surely, despite the fact that her life was a mess, she hadn't become a newspaper thief?
In only one short year, her life had become a financial nightmare. After her husband had died, she discovered his business hadn't been as successful as everyone had thought and they'd been living the high life on borrowed money. Not only were she and her children forced to move from California to Portage, Pennsylvania, to live with her parents but her good name had gone to hell in a handbasket.
She didn't know how the gossip of her near bankruptcy and mismanaged credit had traveled nearly 3,000 miles, but it had. And now, on her very first day back in town — the day she wanted to begin rebuilding her reputation — she and her father both held a newspaper, which could only mean she had stolen the neighbor's.
"It's ours," Dan Cramer said, chuckling. "What did you think I did, swipe Eric's?"
"No, but I'm guessing that since you have yours," Kelsey said, just barely keeping the panic out of her voice. "I stole Eric's."
"Oh, dear." Her mother grimaced as she looked at the wrinkled newspaper her daughter quickly refolded.
Kelsey rose from her seat. She didn't like Eric Sponsky, not one bit. She liked even less the fact that he lived next door to her family home. He was just another nuisance she would have to endure until she got a job and found her own place. "It's not a big deal. I'll just put it back."
Even as she said the words, she turned toward the screen door and saw Eric standing on the grass strip between the side-by-side driveways, searching for his paper. Though she didn't want her breath to catch, it did.
Another man would look ridiculous in the gaudy gold velour robe he wore, but not Eric. He was spectacular. The unexpectedly bright attire intensified the hues of his black hair and brilliant green eyes, and the shape-molding material accented his tall, muscular build. Because his eyes narrowed as he glanced about in frustration, he resembled an angry Greek god.
Eric had been Kelsey's first love. He was the boy she had dated all through high school. Unfortunately he was also the boy who had stood her up for their senior prom. And he never told her why. He skipped town, leaving her wondering what had happened.
And now a stupid, inconsequential newspaper had turned the tables in their squabble. Because she had taken his paper, she wouldn't be able to assume the high ground and ignore him, as she had planned to do while she lived here.
Seeing his growing anger, Kelsey knew there was no way she could walk out and hand his paper to him. Besides, she didn't really want to talk to him. She certainly didn't have anything to say to him. What woman really wanted to face her first love wearing oversize purple flannel pajamas? No woman in her right mind would look forward to encountering her Eric Sponsky. Most women would refuse. Kelsey refused, too.
She waited until Eric gave up hunting for his paper, then sneaked outside, and slid it between the two rhododendron bushes hiding the tank of gas for his stove. Just as she had the newspaper positioned to appear as if an overzealous paperboy had thrown it there, she heard a deep, masculine voice.
"What in the hell do you think you're doing?"
Kelsey just barely stopped herself from screaming. Hand pressed to her heart, she spun around. "Geez, Eric, you scared the life out of me."
"A guilty conscience will do that to you," Eric said, folding his arms across his chest as he glared at her. "The Dispatch is still only 50 cents, Kelsey. You don't have to steal mine."
It surprised her that he recognized her. He hadn't seen her since she was 18, and she knew she wasn't the perky cheerleader she had been when they dated. But more than that, the past year of worries and pain had taken an additional toll on her appearance. Even the color of her hair seemed off.
"I didn't steal your paper...."
"Only because I caught you before you could."
"I was putting it back."
"Yeah, right," Eric said. His gaze slid from her face down to her purple plaid pajamas and his eyebrows rose. "Why don't you simply admit you took the paper, give it back to me, and go home and put on something that doesn't quite blind the neighborhood."
"People wearing glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Eric," Kelsey countered, waving a hand in the direction of his luminous velour sleepwear, though she'd already admitted to herself that even in his gaudy gold robe Eric looked fabulous. Like Kelsey, he had added some weight since high school, but where hers was extra padding hopefully hidden by clothes a size too large, his was muscle. His shoulders had broadened, his chest had filled out, and he had a perfectly flat stomach.
Right then and there, Kelsey knew there was no justice in life. By all accounts, he shouldn't look this good. Just as she'd lost her home to her husband's debts, he'd lost his in his divorce. He'd lost half of his company to his ex-wife, as well. He should be as tired and stressed out as she was. Yet he looked great. Couldn't he at least have had the good grace to go bald?
"I didn't steal your paper. I took it thinking it was my parents'. But when I saw my dad already had a paper, I brought this one back."
"Yeah, that's why you were hiding it."
"I was hiding it because¼ Oh, shoot, forget it. Think what you like," she said, slapping the paper into Eric's perfect belly and storming away. "I wish the whole damned world would lighten up already."
"Yeah, well," Eric called after her, "I think the whole damned world has gone too soft. Maybe if people would pay attention to what they're doing and have a little more courtesy, everybody would get along well enough that no one would have to lighten up."
It was on the tip of Kelsey's tongue to tell him that those were fancy words from a guy who had to sell his big house and mortgage his company because his ex-wife couldn't stand living with him anymore. But she reeled in her temper and continued up the steps of her parents' home.
"You always were an uptight snob," she mumbled, but not nearly loud enough for him to hear. To hell with him. He was the least of her worries.…
After two cups of coffee and four strips of bacon, Kelsey had forgotten all about her encounter with Eric Sponsky. Going over the single page of want ads in the Dispatch with a fine-tooth comb, she'd found exactly four jobs she was vaguely qualified for. Unfortunately, after spending the afternoon visiting each of the businesses, Kelsey still wasn't employed.
She returned to her parents' home, discouraged by the shortage of opportunities for a motivated, organized woman lacking any job experience. Her mother looked at her father, then suggested that there was one very open, very doable job for her: assistant to Eric Sponsky.
He had never replaced his ex-wife in his business when she filed for divorce. Rumor had it that he worried that another woman would steal his heart, then use the job as a springboard to again steal half his company, her mother explained.
After a few minutes of thinking it over, Kelsey's choice was made. Given that she really needed a job and didn't want Eric's heart, and he needed an assistant but certainly didn't want anything to do with her, she decided she was perfect.
When he arrived home at seven that evening, Kelsey marched to his back porch and climbed the steps. She drew a long breath for courage, then rang the bell.
Eric answered the door wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, and reading glasses. Thank God. The glasses made him seem different, older, maybe…kinder.
"All finished with the paper, so you've come browsing for magazines?"
"Uh, no," Kelsey said, laughing slightly at his worthless attempt at humor, and realizing the glasses didn't help him one bit. But she wasn't here to critique his jokes or his behavior. She needed a job from this man. "Actually, I want to talk with you."
He started to close the door. "This isn't a good time for me."
She stuck her foot between the door frame and the heavy wooden door, and took advantage of the element of surprise to elbow her way into his all white, newly remodeled kitchen. "I won't stay long, but I do want to apologize for accidentally taking your paper this morning."
He removed his glasses. Then, in the same way he had when he caught her with her hand between his rhododendrons, he crossed his arms on his wide chest. "Apology accepted."
Inching her way into the sparkling room, she ran her fingers along the shiny white countertop. "That was such an unfortunate way to meet after all these years." She glanced up at him and smiled. "So, what have you been up to since high school?"
"Nothing worth printing in the Dispatch," he said curtly. "And, really, Kelsey, I'm very busy. If you'd cut to the chase, I would appreciate it."
"All right," she said, exasperated because he couldn't give her an inch. Just like in high school. Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick. With 10 years' distance to give her perspective, she couldn't remember why she'd put up with him.
"I need a job." Refusing to beg, Kelsey nonetheless hauled in her temper via a swift intake of air. "I heard that you never replaced your ex-wife, and since you stood me up for the prom, you owe me. I think you should hire me."
"There's a darned good reason I never replaced my ex-wife," Eric replied angrily. "Having her as an assistant opened the door for her to say she was instrumental in the development of the business and steal half my company. I'm not going to make that mistake again."
"I didn't ask you to marry me. I asked you to give me a job. Since we're not going to get married, there'll be no divorce, and there'll be no settlement. Your company is very safe." She looked him right in the eyes. "You're very safe with me."
"No. I won't hire you to be my assistant."
"Come on, Eric! I need a job."
"Yeah, well, I would like to keep my sanity for the rest of my life." He held her gaze for several seconds, then quickly turned away.
His eyes lingered a little longer than Kelsey would have expected. If she didn't know better, she would guess the guy didn't want to work with her because he still found her attractive.
But that couldn't be it. First, he had dumped her 10 years ago. A man doesn't strand a woman to whom he's attracted, without a good reason — and he had never given her any explanation. Second, she no longer looked young and pretty; she'd put on some weight. Her hair was lackluster. Her shoulders drooped. Life had beaten her up and it showed. There was no way he was attracted to her.
"Eric, if I weren't desperate, I wouldn't be here. And I'm not going to make your life miserable. I'm not the kind of person who makes anybody's life miserable. You know me. I'm the same person I was 10 years ago."
He faced her again. His eyes seemed to glitter but not with anger or frustration, as when she'd accidentally taken his paper. This time they glittered with something a little more personal…a little more dangerous.
Nerves fluttered in Kelsey's stomach. She wished she could pull back everything she had said because she'd just reminded him that they had been lovers. Teenage lovers. Young, hungry lovers, as eager and joyful as two crazy puppies.
Great.
Now she remembered why she put up with his fussiness. At the time it had seemed worth it. If she remembered correctly — and she was having some very vivid recollections right now — it had been.
Fearing the worst, she again caught his gaze. As some of the more memorable scenarios raced through her head, the expression in his smoldering green eyes nearly buckled her knees. Dear God. What had she done?
But before she could formulate the words to get herself out of this mess, Eric asked, "How could creating a multimillion dollar company and losing it when your husband died not change you?"
Momentarily confused by his response, Kelsey only stared at him until she realized he had not been remembering the same things she was. If he had a strange expression on his face it was because she puzzled him, not because he was attracted to her.
She should have been relieved that his mind obviously hadn't been where she'd thought it was, but instead, his not remembering their shared passion was an insult. It was a demeaning snub, considering that what they'd shared was incredibly memorable to her. And, irrationally, that didn't make her as much mad as it did hurt her feelings.
"Aren't you bitter? Aren't you angry? How could you possibly be the same? And how could you possibly feel that the past 10 years haven't changed you?"
"You're right, Eric. I am bitter. I am angry. And the past 10 years have made me downright mean."
With that she swept through his kitchen and out his door with all the flair of a beleaguered, yet somehow still spunky, Bette Davis heroine. Of course he didn't remember what they had shared. He was a man.
Men didn't remember things like kisses in the park or making love under a crescent moon. They might remember sex, but they didn't remember passion...or love.…
Walking toward his car Saturday morning, Eric inadvertently glanced into the yard beside his house and saw the kids. Two blond beauties. From the gossip, he knew Kelsey had a son and a daughter.
He knew the son, Leland, was older, and the daughter, Lucy, was little more than a toddler. But looking at them across the distance, all he really noticed was that they were adorable and his heart clenched. Gossip had further confirmed that Kelsey still hadn't found a job.
He knew why. She had fallen in love with a college senior her freshman year and dropped out to marry him. Eric heard that on his first trip home. So she didn't have a degree. She probably didn't have a marketable skill. And, darn it, he knew he owed her.
Later that evening, it was Eric marching up the back steps of Kelsey's temporary home. He knocked once, lightly, hoping no one would hear so he could reconcile in his conscience that he had at least tried to offer her a job without actually giving her one. But the little blond boy opened the door. When Eric looked down, a pair of big blue eyes stared up at him from an angelic porcelain-skinned face.
"Is your mom home?"
"Uh-huh."
Eric guessed the kid's age to be about eight, which would mean Kelsey had not only married just shortly after they'd split but she hadn't wasted any time getting pregnant. His heart twisted again, but he ignored it. "Could you get her?"
The kid turned and screamed, "MOM!"
Eric winced, but within a few seconds Kelsey was in the kitchen, looking ready to strangle her son. "Leland Delaney, you know better than to… Oh."
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Look, I'm going to make this short and sweet. You're right. I owe you. I'm going to give you a job."
Because she appeared about ready to faint, Eric didn't turn and scramble out the door as he had originally planned. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," she said, staring at him as if she were completely baffled. "I just didn't expect this."
"Well, I thought it over and you're right." He didn't tell her that he had seen her kids, worried about how she would support them, and then worried about her. He kept the explanation as close to professional as he possibly could. "I need somebody. And I do know you. If you say we'll keep the relationship strictly business, I know I can trust you."
She nodded. "Yes, you can."
The certainty in her voice hit him right in the heart. Of course, she would want nothing to do with him. He had hurt her. He'd embarrassed her. She would be a fool to want to have anything to do with him again.
"Okay," he said, deciding it was a very good thing for both of them to remember that he had dumped her. This way she wouldn't worry that he would take advantage of her. And he wouldn't worry that she would take advantage of him. "I'll see you Monday, then."
She nodded. "Monday."
He left her house and jogged down the steps. A little voice in his brain reminded him that he had had very good reason for not taking her to the prom, but he ignored it.
It was better for both of them if she didn't know….
Kelsey dressed carefully for her first day as Eric's assistant. She still had church suits left over from her days as Larry Delaney's socialite wife, and she chose a red one that brought out the best in her coloring and hid the worst of her excess weight.
Actually, the extra pounds were no longer a problem. Now that she had a job, the food fests that comforted her in her misery no longer seemed necessary. She'd avoided the refrigerator all weekend. Before the end of the month she predicted those pounds would be gone.
She kissed her kids, borrowed her father's car, and rushed to the large prefabricated building that housed Eric's machine shop. After a deep breath for courage, she pushed open the glass door and entered the reception area.
"Can I help you?"
Kelsey smiled at the young blond woman. The receptionist was petite and dressed in a trim blue suit very much like Kelsey's, but whose color also complemented the decor of the room. Pretty sapphire carpeting covered the floors of the relatively new building. The white walls looked freshly painted. Though Kelsey had chosen her outfit to suit working with an executive and to impress her co-workers on her first day, she hadn't expected a manufacturing environment to be so clean or so quiet.
"Yes, thank you. Mr. Sponsky hired me to…"
"Kelsey?"
Kelsey turned at the sound of Eric's voice and her breath caught. He wore a black suit, white shirt, and red tie, and with his dark coloring, he looked spectacular. When her wits returned, she realized that he was gaping at her as if her appearance had taken him aback just as much. Apparently, he didn't expect her to clean up so well. She worked to conceal a smirk. Thank God for church suits.
"Hi, Eric," she said, gaining hold of her bearings before he could because it was fun to have him on the defensive for a change. "Are you ready to put me to work?"
"Uh, yeah," he said, then ran his hand along his neck. "Candy, this is Kelsey. I hired her last week to be my new assistant. If anybody calls for her she'll be in Human Resources this morning going through orientation."
"Okay," Candy said amicably, but as they turned to leave, Kelsey noticed that the young woman gave her a curious once-over.
"Right this way," Eric said, leading her down a hall.
When they reached the human resources department, he unceremoniously dumped her in the hands of the director. Sabrina Johnson finished Kelsey's tour of the plant, helped her fill out the paperwork necessary for her employment at Sponsky Metals, then returned her to Eric just after lunch.
He immediately put her to work sorting through three stacks of what he called nuisance correspondence and, grateful for the opportunity, Kelsey didn't protest. But at 4:30, when it was time to straighten the conference table and get ready to go home, she looked up from her task to discover Eric staring at her.…
Seeing Eric staring at her, Kelsey fought a wave of panic. "What?"
"Nothing," he said, drew a long breath, and went back to his work. "You can leave that filing for tomorrow. Right now, you should to check in with Sabrina to see if she has any paperwork you need to fill out at home."
"Okay," Kelsey agreed, dropping the two file folders of general correspondence she had segregated from the huge stacks he had given her. She turned and walked out of the room, but on her way to the human resources office she wouldn't let herself dodge the truth. He still liked her.
She almost couldn't believe it, but from the way he was looking at her she could tell he did. And she hated him. She would never forgive Eric because she knew she only married Larry Delaney on the rebound. Then, because they had two children together, she'd spent almost nine years tied to a man who didn't really love her.
But when she returned to her parents' home, and her beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed son and daughter were waiting for her, she decided that though she hadn't had the best marriage in the world, at least something good had come from it. Her children. If she hadn't married Larry, she wouldn't have her kids.
But that still didn't mean she had to forgive Eric. The man had embarrassed her. Humiliated her in a close-knit small town when she was a fragile 18-year-old.
Kelsey spent the next day in Eric's office again. This time she purged old files, created hanging folders for new projects, and in general familiarized herself with the business by wading through correspondence, financial reports, and marketing statistics that hadn't been filed in the two years since his wife left him.
The day went more easily than the one before because Eric was in meetings. Kelsey ate lunch with Sabrina, who related that she handled most of the employee problems, benefits, and hiring and firing. She also explained that Ronnie Portzer was the head of manufacturing because he knew everything there was to know about machined parts and assembly. But Eric was the genius marketer.
"He could be pulling down six figures anywhere he went," Sabrina told Kelsey, then she took a bite of her sandwich.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying he's crazy to put up with the aggravation of owning his own company."
"No," Kelsey surmised after having spent the morning being filled in on the gossip of Eric's office romance by almost everybody on the administrative staff. "You're saying he should have closed it rather than pay his wife the huge settlement.…"
"Or let her buy it," Sabrina said logically. "Since she thought she was such a hotshot and such an important piece of the company's puzzle, he should have signed the darned thing over to her and gotten on with the rest of his life."
Kelsey licked her suddenly dry lips. "So why didn't he?"
"I think he didn't want to see her run it into the ground."
"Sounds as if you didn't like her very much."
Sabrina sighed. "None of us did. It was clear to all of us early on that she was only out for what she could get from Eric, but he didn't seem to see any of it coming."
"She hurt him?"
"Tremendously."
"Oh." Hearing that, Kelsey felt incredibly guilty. It seemed fate had paid him back in spades for everything he had done to her....
When Kelsey entered the office the next morning, Eric was already there and working. He didn't even look up. "Good morning, Kelsey."
"Good morning," she said, then swallowed. Knowing he wasn't the wicked warlock of the West anymore, recognizing fate had paid him back for everything he had done to her, Kelsey was reconsidering her feelings. She remembered him as the brilliant, but nitpicky boy she dated, but she also remembered that in the more personal realm of their relationship, Eric was a sweet guy. A nice person. She hoped his ex-wife hadn't stolen that from him, too.
"I typed a bunch of letters last night," he said, then finally glanced up when he handed her a disk. "Take this to your workstation and fix all the typos, fill in the addresses from the Rolodex on my ex-wife's old desk, and then print them for my signature."
"Okay," she said, taking the disk, but she noticed that his eyes were sort of dull and listless, and she started to understand why there was no love lost between his former wife and all his employees. It seemed his ex-wife really had done a number on him. She got the house, half the business, and she'd deadened his spirit.
It took Kelsey four hours to read and fix the "bunch" of letters Eric had written. Not because they were riddled with typos, but because there were 37 of them. By the time she stepped away from the desk, she was not only thanking God that she had attended a class on running word processing software, but she was also thanking God for the search-and-replace features and spelling checker.
When she walked the letters into Eric's office, she found that he wasn't at his desk. She rounded the corner to set the letters on the blotter in front of his chair so that he would see them when he returned. However, as she came around the side, she discovered that Eric wasn't out of his office, but kneeling on the floor, searching under his credenza.
Though Kelsey sternly told herself not to, she peeked at his tight butt, eventually allowing her gaze to roam up his broad back to his shiny hair. Then she squeezed her eyes shut in disbelief. Why the hell had she done that!
She cleared her throat. "Eric," she said, but his name came out very husky, almost smoky, and Kelsey wished she could just disappear. She cleared her throat again. "I have your letters."
"Good, great, wonderful," he said, apparently having missed the odd tone of her voice.
He turned as if to give her a polite smile but because he was close to the floor, his gaze collided with her legs first. She watched it travel up her calves, to her knees, and up the length of her straight navy blue skirt. By the time his gaze met hers, his eyes no longer bore the lethargy she had seen that morning. They virtually glowed, the same way they had the night he refused to hire her.
And this time she knew that he was remembering their years together as teenagers. He couldn't pretend he wasn't. Everything he was thinking was right there in his eyes for her to read.…
"Have a seat," Eric said, pushing himself up from the floor and sitting on the tall-backed chair behind his desk. "You might as well wait while I read these and sign them, so they can go out in the mail today."
"Okay," Kelsey said, but where her voice had been hoarse and husky a few minutes before, this time it came out as a squeak.
"I'm not going to attack you," Eric said, angry now. For Pete's sake. What was it about this woman? Why the heck did he find her so damned attractive?
She didn't even care to be in the same room with him…which was good, he reminded himself. He did not want another relationship, and after the rumors he'd heard about her husband he was just about certain Kelsey wouldn't either. So why the hell did he care what she thought? How she looked? How she smelled? He was over her. She was over him. "They" were over.
But the next day, when Kelsey was seated at her desk and Eric was bent toward her, showing her something on the monitor, she turned her head at the wrong time and their faces were less than four inches apart. He looked into her startled brown eyes and remembered things that would have been best forgotten — like the first time he kissed her, the first time he touched her, the first time they made love. He remembered the way her skin felt like satin against his palm and the way she tasted.
And in the same way he had heard it the first time they made love, something inside him whispered that this was his woman. No matter how much time or distance or trouble stood between them, he would always want her because she was his.
"You were showing me how you like your expense reports typed," Kelsey said, her voice quavering slightly, her gaze shifting to the computer screen.
Eric jerked upright. "I'll tell you what. I'll email you an example and you can just use that as a template until you get accustomed to the format."
It wasn't until he strode away that Kelsey let out the breath she was holding. He was the most attractive man on the face of the earth. She didn't hate him anymore for standing her up for the prom. She was over feeling sorry for him because his ex-wife had hurt him. She had even moved beyond liking him and into being intrigued by him. She was squarely at the stage where she wanted to kiss him.
And he wanted to kiss her.
But both of them knew it was wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
She needed her job. He needed his sanity. Neither of them was stupid enough to forget the reality of this situation.
But, she thought, it was tempting.…
Tension tightened the air in the small suite of executive offices. Though Eric pretended nothing was wrong, he knew that after the almost-kiss the day before, Kelsey was now afraid of him. Oh, she didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. The way she looked away or ran away from him every chance she got spoke volumes.
He scheduled most of his meetings out of the office, but that didn't stop him thinking about her. If they accidentally ran into each other between appointments, she all but hyperventilated in his presence. He hated the fact that she didn't like him, though he knew it was an unhappy inevitability of their pasts. He wished he could explain things to her — especially why he hadn't shown up to take her to the prom, and why he never contacted her to apologize. But he also didn't want to open old wounds. And maybe he didn't want to risk that she would pity him.
Eric sneaked into his office early the next Friday, knowing she would be in the cafeteria getting her morning coffee. But he unexpectedly caught sight of her as she walked up the hall to the executive suite and he stopped, mesmerized by her. She looked adorable in her little pink suit, but that didn't surprise him. Every day she seemed to look better. Brighter. More vivacious. Coming home definitely agreed with her. She was as beautiful as the day he left her, but more than that, she was happy.
He stepped into his office and closed the door. Seeing her brilliant smile confirmed his suspicions. She shouldn't want to get involved in his life any more than he should want to jeopardize his own fragile peace.
But, oh, it was tempting.
For three days Eric arrived early and left late and, in general, avoided Kelsey. However, because she was his assistant, he knew that system couldn't go on forever, and he decided that rather than tiptoe around each other, they should push through this.
"Okay," he said, handing Kelsey another disk. "Same deal as the last time. I need you to clean up these letters I wrote, add addresses, and print them for my signature."
"All right," Kelsey said, but she snatched for the disk so quickly that she sent it flying. It took a quantum bounce, made three flips, then landed on the floor with a thud.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she groaned, scrambling around the side of his desk.
"It's no problem, Kelsey," he assured her as he bent to retrieve the blue square. But because Kelsey had the same idea, she stooped to get the disk at the same time Eric bent. They avoided an unpleasant collision because their hands brushed before their heads could bump. Each glanced up. Their gazes met, and when Kelsey didn't look away Eric realized the strangest thing. She wanted him to kiss her. She hadn't been avoiding him for the past three days out of fear. She had been stepping out of his way and preventing herself from even being in the same room with him because she was as attracted to him as he was to her. If he were a betting man, he would guess the fire that seemed to ignite inside him every time he saw her was also igniting inside her.
The little voice came again, whispering in his ear.
She's your woman.
Your woman.
The two words became a hypnotizing litany as Eric bent forward and Kelsey stretched to meet him.…
The first brush of their lips was tentative. Like two souls at the gates of heaven, each unable to believe his good fortune, neither took inappropriate liberties for fear of losing the unexpected gift.
Still, Kelsey suppressed a shiver. She couldn't believe this was happening, then she couldn't believe 10 long years had passed since the last time she'd kissed him. Ten long, lonely years since she had kissed the man she loved. Her mouth softened at the thought, and Eric pressed in, taking the advantage.
From his position slightly above her, on his chair, he gripped her shoulders and drew her closer, all the while deepening the kiss. He took them from an experimental brush of lips to a confident press that resulted in her gentle yielding to a soft nudge that requested she yield one more time and open her mouth to him.
She did so. With a quiver that was part nervousness, part fear, part passion, she surrendered and let him kiss her the way she wanted to be kissed. Desperately, hungrily, greedily — until Sabrina knocked on the door.
"Eric?"
Though he didn't bolt upright in his chair, Eric immediately pulled away and Kelsey froze. Hidden by his desk, Kelsey knew she couldn't be seen. Though she knew Sabrina could probably tell that Eric was in his seat, leaning toward the floor. Embarrassment flooded Kelsey and she shifted away from Eric, averting her eyes.
Waving the fallen disk, he straightened in his chair. "Just getting this," he said, not sounding a bit ill-at-ease or nervous at having been caught kissing passionately beneath his desk.
"Oh," Sabrina said and from the increased volume of her voice, Kelsey could tell she had walked into the room. "I have the workers' compensation report that you asked me to generate.…"
"Good. Great. Wonderful," Eric said. Sitting immediately beside his chair, Kelsey saw the movement of his body as he reached forward to get the document and she realized that if Sabrina got too close, she only had to look down and she would see Kelsey.
"But I'm really busy right now, so I don't have time to discuss it. How about if we set something up for tomorrow?"
"Okay," Sabrina said.
About 20 seconds of silence ensued, indicating to Kelsey that Sabrina had walked out of the room. Then Eric sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about that."
Kelsey swallowed hard. Not able to meet his gaze, she rose and dusted off the back of her skirt. "Don't worry about it."
"Kelsey," Eric began softly, as if about to make a more detailed apology. Kelsey's cheeks reddened.
"I said don't worry about it," she snapped, not even sure herself why she felt so angry, so betrayed. But she did. "I told you that you didn't have anything to fear from me and you don't."
The next day, Eric sat staring at Kelsey as she typed at her workstation. If her back got any stiffer or any straighter, he worried that she would injure herself. But he couldn't say anything. He didn't dare say anything. She was so furious with him for kissing her that he knew it was only the fear of poverty that kept her in her job right now.
She finished a few final keystrokes, then shifted and adjusted something in her printer. Baffled, irritated, Eric continued to watch her. He didn't want to like her, but he did. He always had. She was his first love and he knew he would never forget her. He convinced himself that was why he hated the fact that she obviously disliked him. Not because he wanted her to like him now, in the present, but because the trouble between them, the past that probably caused all her bad feelings could actually be explained away.
If he told her, though, she would pity him. And he already had enough people in this town who felt sorry for him. He didn't want another one.
So what do you want? The little voice in his head nagged. What do you want?
He didn't know. He absolutely did not know. He only knew he didn't want her to hate him anymore.
Kelsey rose from her desk, and Eric concluded that the document over which she had been fussing must have finished printing. To preclude her from seeing he had been staring at her, he busied himself with reading the workers' compensation report for his afternoon meeting with Sabrina.
"This is last month's expense sheet," Kelsey said, entering the room.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
She dropped the two sheets on his desk and fled again. Eric decided not to let it bother him. Maybe it was good that she hated him.
But watching her walk back to her desk, his gaze dropped to her legs and he smiled at the irony. He had to be the first man in recorded history to be glad a pretty girl didn't like him.
His lunch with the public relations group that had won the bid to create Sponsky Metals's yearly promotional video ran late and Eric found himself scrambling to get back to the office in time for his meeting with Sabrina. When he arrived in the executive suite, walking past Kelsey's workstation, he found Sabrina seated on Kelsey's chair, reviewing her documents.
"Hey."
"Hey," he said, glancing at his human resources manager. "Where's Kelsey?"
"She told me one of her children was sick and she needed to go home. In fact," Sabrina said, grimacing, "she didn't look well herself, and I'm worried that she's probably got the same bug that her child has."
"Oh," Eric said, motioning for Sabrina to join him in his office. "Let's hope not," he said, but he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that had nothing to do with the flu. From the way she had been behaving all day, he knew Kelsey regretted working with him. And now he had to wonder if her child really was sick, or if Kelsey simply hadn't gone home to try to figure out a polite way to leave the job she'd begged for only a few weeks ago. Before he'd kissed her.
Kelsey didn't even have to answer the back door to know it was Eric knocking. First, aside from family, he was the only person who ever came to the kitchen entrance. Second, she was just about certain he realized she was uncomfortable around him. Knowing that two nervous people wouldn't make a good team, he was probably here to fire her.
She opened the door and he stood before her, his paisley tie loosened, his suit coat askew, his briefcase still in his hand, as if he had just left the office. For reasons known only to God and fate, he still looked delicious to her. "Hi."
"Hi. Can I come in?"
She shrugged. "Sure. I guess you're here to fire me."
"Fire you?" he gasped. "I'm not going to fire you. But I do think I deserve an explanation."
That baffled her. "For what?"
"Leaving early today is probably the best place to start. But I also wouldn't mind hearing why you won't let me apologize for kissing you."
"Probably because it's insulting and demeaning." It had only cost a night's sleep to figure that out. "I know I put us in a compromising position. I know you probably felt you didn't have any choice but to kiss me. But you didn't have to be such a jerk about it. I know you don't like me. I promised you we wouldn't get involved. I feel idiotic enough, Eric. You didn't have to make it worse by apologizing."
To her great surprise Eric burst out laughing. "Is that what you thought happened?"
Feeling a hot blush on her cheeks, Kelsey nonetheless held her head high. "Yes."
"Well, then my version of the story should thrill you."
Confused, she peeked at him.
"Because my version goes something like this. I thought I made you feel as if you had to kiss me. I was sorry because bosses are supposed to be more controlled, but I wasn't. Frankly," he said, rubbing his hand along the back of her neck. "You took me by surprise. And what I wanted to tell you tonight and every other time I tried to apologize was that you had nothing to fear from me."
"Oh." Red-faced, Kelsey stood frozen.
"So, now we both know we have nothing to fear."
For some reason or another that struck her as funny and she giggled. "I guess we do." She drew a long breath to quell her laughter and added, "So why do you think it happened?"
Eric only looked at her. "The kiss?"
She nodded.
"Well, I'm guessing that we still have a residual attraction."
"That makes sense. You're still a pretty attractive guy."
He smiled ruefully. "Thank you. You're still a very attractive woman."
"Thanks," she said, but the tip of her toe suddenly became very interesting because she was afraid to look at him. She hadn't complimented him to get him to return the favor, but now that he had, she admitted it felt good. Really, really good. She couldn't remember the last time anybody told her she was attractive. God knew, Larry hadn't said it in years.
"You are, you know?" Eric said, his voice light, whispery.
She swallowed back tears. Why him? Why now? Why did she have to be attracted to a man who had already broken her heart?
Eric placed his forefinger under her chin and lifted her face until she was looking at him. "You don't believe me."
Kelsey's breath lodged in her throat. If the look in Eric's eyes was anything to go by, she could believe him. He did find her attractive. He found her very attractive. But she also knew that too many problems stood in the way of their pursuing this relationship. Not the least of which was that she needed her job.
"I believe that you think I'm attractive, but I also know that we said we would keep our relationship strictly business. I made a promise to you." She paused, met his gaze. "And you made a promise to me."
"I did," he said and, and though his expression was full of regret, he stepped away. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Kelsey knew she should have been happy with their renewed commitment to keep their personal distance, but she wasn't. The next day, and every day, when Eric came to work, she felt as if he were shutting her out. Worse, at the oddest times she saw him looking out his kitchen window, watching her and her children play in the yard, yet he continued to ignore her. He never as much as said hello, even if they met on the driveways between their two homes. She was almost ready to steal his newspaper just so he would yell at her again. Finally, after about two weeks, Kelsey couldn't take it anymore and she stormed into Eric's office and slammed the door.
"All right. That's it."
"That's what?" he asked, sliding his chair away from his desk, and giving her a wary look.
"That's enough of this!" she said, and waved her hand around his office for emphasis. "I'm supposed to be your assistant. If you don't talk to me, how the hell am I supposed to assist you?"
"Kelsey, you can't have everything your way. You wanted me to keep my distance — I am."
"But not like this!"
He shook his head. "You're going to have to tell me what you want. Because I'm not understanding you."
Tired, defeated, Kelsey felt her shoulders droop. She didn't know how to explain to him that she wanted him to talk to her, when she also knew as well as he did that every step they took toward a friendship would also strengthen the attraction.
Eric sighed. "Kelsey," he said kindly, rising from his seat and walking toward her. "I know what you're saying. I'm having the same problems myself." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Do you think I don't remember how good it was to have you as a friend all those years ago?"
She licked her suddenly dry lips. "I didn't think you remembered any of it."
"I remember all of it."
For that she peered up and grimaced. "All of it?"
"Every delicious moment."
The air tightened. Kelsey found it difficult to breathe. When she said, "So do I," it came out as a hoarse whisper.
"That's what makes this so hard."
Kelsey smiled miserably. "So what you're saying is that if we could have our memories erased, we would both be fine."
"I wouldn't erase those memories for anything."
It wasn't what he said, but how he said it that got to her. The intensity in his voice warmed her all over. This time when she smiled at him, there was no regret in her expression. "Neither would I."
And then he kissed her again. Without hesitation, without waiting for her to grant him permission, he kissed her long and hard and as if he had been starving for the taste of her.
When Eric finally stopped kissing her, Kelsey could only stare at him. From the expression on his face, she could see the kiss didn't merely signal a point of no return for their relationship, it also forced him to make some decisions.
"Do you know why I didn't take you to the prom?" he asked quietly.
"No," Kelsey said.
"My father," he said, slowly, cautiously, "had beaten the hell out of me."
"Oh, my God."
"He had hit me the whole way through the first eight grades, but when I started training to play high school football, he quit." Eric smiled ruefully. "I think he realized that if he pushed me too far, I would and could push back. So for four years I was relatively safe."
"What happened?"
"That day he got drunk. He called me a tough boy or some such thing. Made fun of me playing football. Made fun of my scholarship and just started hitting me around."
"And you hit back."
Eric shook his head. "No. It was the oddest thing. I felt sorry for him, because I realized that that scholarship was going to give me chances he didn't have. Unfortunately, he beat me so badly that I needed medical attention. My mother was embarrassed by what people might say so she didn't take me to a local hospital. She drove me to Pittsburgh."
"Which is why your secret stayed a secret."
He nodded.
"I'm sorry, Eric."
He caught her gaze. "No, Kelsey, I'm sorry. For 10 years I've wanted to tell you this. But I couldn't."
"Because you were embarrassed?"
He shook his head. "Because I didn't want you to pity me. I had spent four wonderful years being somebody, not just the kid everybody worried about. I didn't want to go back to being pitied."
"Eric, what I feel for you is not pity."
"But it's not love, either."
"How do you know?"
"Because I haven't told you everything, and once I tell you everything you're going to feel completely different."
"Tell me everything and let me be the judge of that?"
"Kelsey, before I do, I'm going to make two stipulations. One is that you don't pity me. I'm so sick of being the kid that everybody felt sorry for, and then the jilted husband that everybody whispered about."
"I can handle that. What's the other stipulation?"
"That you'll agree to forget we ever had a relationship and stop pursuing one now."
"And if I can't?"
"Then you'll agree to quit your job."
Kelsey's heart raced in her chest. On the one hand, she knew she needed to hear the rest of Eric's secret. Whatever his problem was, she knew she could help him work through it, if he would let her. If he didn't force her to quit her job. If he was willing to give them another chance.
Unfortunately, she also knew that if she didn't agree to his conditions, he would never tell her.
She licked her lips. "I agree. I'll control myself, behave myself, whatever. You can tell me."
He picked up a yellow number-two pencil and stared at it as he tapped it against his desk. Then he drew a long breath and said, "I can't have kids."
"What?"
"I can't have children."
"Oh, my God," she whispered, as many things about Eric's life began to make more sense to her. If their disagreement would have been something as simple as his stranding her on prom night he would have apologized her and then pursued her the way his kisses indicated he wanted to. But his not being able to have children changed everything. And not just in his relationship with her.
"That's really why you gave your wife half the value of this company, isn't it? You didn't want anyone to know."
"I still don't."
"Eric, there's no crime.…"
Though his face registered his anguish, his voice was deceptively quiet. "All my life I was the object of this town's pity. And I'm done with it. If you can't keep my secrets, Kelsey, there's the door."
"Okay. Fine," she said and strode out of his office in a huff, knowing there was no talking to him when he made up his mind.
But at her desk, a wave of guilt and frustration washed over her and she remembered what had brought them together in high school. He'd been wary and shy. A nitpicky perfectionist who couldn't seem to deviate from the rules unless she taunted him or dared him.
When she had taken the time to get to know him he proved himself to be nothing short of wonderful. Having been pursued by every octopus-handed jerk in the popular crowd, Kelsey finding Eric had been a welcome change. She'd known the gossip about his father hitting him when he was a kid. She'd known he was embarrassed by his past. But they had such a good time together, it had been easy to forget that his life had been difficult. It had been easy to ignore his past.
But because they ignored his past, when his father had hurt him again, he didn't tell her.
If she ignored what Eric had told her, if she did as he asked, they would suffer the same fate as they had 10 years ago. He would shut her out of his life for good. But if she forced him to admit he liked her, he wouldn't just shut her out of his life, and she wouldn't just lose him. She would lose her job and her children's security.
"Mrs. Cramer, it's very nice of you to invite me to dinner," Eric said, grimacing into the receiver of the phone because he was about to lie. "But I can't come tonight, I have…work to do."
"No, you don't, Eric Sponsky," Janice Cramer said with a laugh. "Kelsey told me your calendar is clear. You just bring yourself to supper tonight."
"Yes, ma'am," Eric said, not wanting to insult his neighbor, but not exactly sure dinner with the happy Cramer family was what he needed right now. Particularly since he was just about positive Kelsey set this up.
Still, he bought a bottle of wine, then on inspiration also purchased candy for the kids. They greeted him at the door with a whoop of joy when they saw the candy. This was the reason he couldn't get involved with Kelsey. Every time he saw her kids, he would be reminded of everything he couldn't have.
"Why don't you help Kelsey set the picnic table," Janice said, as she took the bottle of wine from Eric's hands. "Plates are there," she said, pointing to the stack on the counter by the back door. "Silver's in that basket."
Eric drew a quick breath, again wondering about the wisdom of accepting this invitation. In his heart he knew that if Kelsey had set this up, she had done it with good intentions. But it was himself he was worried about. He couldn't seem to be within two feet of her without wanting her.
"Hi!" she said, greeting him as he walked down the steps to the picnic table in her parents' backyard.
"Hi."
She propped her hands on her hips. "That's not a picnic voice."
"That's the best I can do."
"No, it isn't and if you don't chipper up, my mother's going to think there's something seriously wrong with you, and making you happy is going to become her mission in life."
He grimaced. "Point taken."
"Wise move on your part."
The simple dinner of hot dogs, hamburgers, and macaroni salad really did lift Eric's spirits. He knew it wasn't the food but the company that cheered him. He hadn't seen his own family in years. His father didn't care to have him around and his mother sided with his father.
Later, when Kelsey's parents had taken her kids inside for bath time and Kelsey questioned him about his family, the wine had made Eric mellow enough that he didn't hide that.
"Your mother doesn't want to see you?"
"My mother wants to see me, just not when my dad is around, so I'm careful."
"Well, you know you're welcome here for breakfast, lunch, dinner… even just to watch TV."
Eric squeezed his eyes shut. "Kelsey, don't pity me."
"I'm not pitying you," she said with a gasp. "I'm being kind to you. Why do you always jump to the conclusion that I'm pitying you?"
"I don't know. I'm sorry."
For a few seconds Kelsey was silent, then she said. "You know what? I know why you always jump to that conclusion. You're using that excuse to push me away."
"Don't be absurd."
"Then kiss me."
A kiss that started off as a dare, as a way for Eric to make the point that he wasn't afraid of her, blossomed into something hot and furious. Every time Eric got his hands on Kelsey, the fever got worse, the need more intense.
He wanted to strip her naked and make love to her in the cool April grass, and make her his again, but he couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't give her the one thing he wanted more than his next breath of air. A child.
He pushed away and for the next 30 seconds simply breathed, trying to get his bearings.
Kelsey walked her fingers up his chest, then looped her hands around his neck. "I think you have a quandary."
No kidding.
"If not wanting pity isn't your excuse for pushing me away, I'm not exactly sure you have an excuse, because you certainly can't say you don't want me."
He swallowed.
"So what do you say we put aside the pretense and start all over again?"
She punctuated her statement with a light brush of her lips across his, as her fingers trailed down the buttons of his shirtfront.
He caught her hand. "Don't."
She shook her head. "No. I don't have to take orders from you out of the office. If I have to push you," she said, sounding exactly as she had when they were 17. "Then I'm going to push."
Knowing exactly how their relationship had turned out 10 years ago, Eric took another sharp breath. "You made me a promise."
"Okay, then, I quit."
"Kelsey, don't."
"Eric, you said that if I couldn't promise you that I would stop pursuing a relationship, you wanted me to quit. Well, I can't make that promise…so I quit. And do you know why? So we can work this out. I want the relationship because I love you."
"You don't love me!"
Because his words came out a little sharper than he intended, she stepped back as if he'd slapped her. "The hell I don't. I never stopped loving you and you never stopped loving me. I want you in my life forever, whatever way I can get you. So that means I have to quit."
"Fine," he said. "Do whatever you like but you're making a big mistake. Any man is going to want any woman who turns him on sexually. You're not that special. You're not going to change my mind."
She recoiled again, but Eric turned away and walked across the yards.
It was better to break off with her now, before they became more involved and she realized she had made a big mistake.
Though Kelsey didn't come in Monday morning, Eric convinced himself that she was bluffing because she couldn't afford to lose her job.
Tuesday, he worried that she was strong enough to keep the bluff going and she would waste the nest egg she had begun to acquire.
Wednesday, he called her mother, who confirmed that Kelsey had quit her job.
Thursday, he decided just to let her go. He couldn't deal with the fact that she wanted him. He couldn't deal with looking at her kids.
Saturday afternoon, mired down in the very peace and quiet, a baseball crashed through his kitchen window. Glass flew everywhere and he jumped from his seat to get out of the way. Thirty seconds later there was a knock on his door.
That would be the owner of the baseball.
"Don't come in. There's glass everywhere."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Eric."
Hearing the voice, Eric recognized it as belonging to Kelsey's son, Leland. He swallowed. "That's okay, kid. No harm done. I can fix this."
To his great surprise, the little boy opened the door and peered inside. "My mom said when I break something I have to clean it up."
"You can't clean this!" Eric said, looking at the shards of glass sprinkled everywhere. "You could get hurt. I'll do it."
"My mom is going to be mad!" the little boy insisted.
"I'll clear it with her."
Leland Delaney's eyes filled with tears and he looked down at the floor. "You can't. She doesn't like you."
Well, that was certainly telling it like it was. "I'm sure I can figure out a way to make her understand."
The little boy turned his tear-filled eyes up at Eric. "I don't think so. She really, really doesn't like you. She said you're the reason we've got to move."
Eric stooped to eye level with the little boy. "You're moving?"
He nodded. "My mom says she has to find another job." He looked Eric in the eyes. "Please let me clean up the glass."
Eric glanced down. The mess was too dangerous for a child. "I think you're too young for this but if you want, I could let you help me replace the window and then you could explain to your mom that you did something."
Leland's eyes brightened. "Okay."
"Okay," Eric agreed. "You clear it with your grandparents while I clean up, then we'll drive to the lumberyard together."
Leland did as Eric asked. He even brought his piggy bank to pay for the new pane of glass. He was not only a well-behaved child who listened to Eric's directions and offered to pay for the glass, but he also asked a hundred questions. By the time they returned from their trip they were talking like old friends.
More than that, though, Eric realized the strangest thing. Leland Delaney didn't make him feel defective. He made him feel like a dad. Because the kid needed a dad. And Eric suddenly saw that though separating him and Kelsey might have been the worst thing his father had ever done, fate had intended it for good. Because now they had kids. Two kids…
That is if he could get Kelsey to agree to let him back into her life.
Kelsey only needed one warm Saturday and both of her parents to pack her belongings into the van she had rented to move across town. On a return trip to the convenience store, she had actually won the assistant manager job, so things were looking up. Except for Eric.
She hated that he was so miserable that he wouldn't even try, but she understood and she wasn't going to push him. This decision had to be his.
Waving goodbye to her kids, who would be riding to their new house with her parents later, she jumped onto the bench seat of the truck.
"Hi."
Hand pressed to her chest, Kelsey suppressed a scream, but when she saw it was Eric on the seat next to her, she gaped at him. "What are you doing?"
"You wouldn't see me.…"
"Eric, what's the saying? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. I can take a hint — you don't want me."
"I do want you."
"Yeah, right."
"I do," he said, scrambling to sit beside her. "Kelsey, look at me."
She sighed heavily and deliberately turned her head in the opposite direction.
He put his fingers on her chin and forced her to face him. "I took Leland shopping the other day."
She frowned.
"He didn't tell you he broke my window?"
"No! That little conniver…"
"Don't be too hard on him. He was worried about you."
"Oh, I get it. Now, you feel sorry for me. He told you I was upset so you're playing knight in shining armor.…"
Apparently losing patience, Eric grabbed her upper arms and yanked her against him for a long openmouthed kiss. By the time the kiss ended they were not only breathing heavily, but Kelsey had completely lost her train of thought.
But Eric hadn't. "I don't feel sorry for you and I don't feel sorry for myself anymore."
She peered at him.
"Your son gave me the greatest gift." He paused, took a shallow breath. "He made me feel like a dad."
"Oh, Eric," Kelsey said, as tears welled in her eyes. "I could have told you he would do that. He needs someone.…"
"And I needed to see it myself." He paused again, but this time he reached into his jacket pocket. "I've loved you for 14 years. I know it sounds absurd to say I'm glad you were married to someone else for a while…but I am. I think everything happened the way it was supposed to," he said, pulling out a small black velvet ring box, "and I think we could be the happiest two people in the world."
The tears in Kelsey's eyes spilled over. "The whole time I was married to Larry, I comforted myself with the knowledge that without him I wouldn't have had my kids."
"Now, they're our kids."
She smiled and accepted the diamond he slipped on her finger. "Now, they're our kids."