"Can I help you?" The slight figure clad in an ankle-length trench coat didn't appear to hear the security guard.
The newest addition to the security team at Lynch Compusoft cleared his throat and raised his voice to a less apologetic level. "I'm afraid, Miss...Miss!" he called out, deserting his post to intercept the intruder.
As he spoke the diminutive figure stiffened and came to an abrupt halt. When she turned, a cloud of rich chestnut hair whipped across her pale, almost pretty face.
"Mrs!" Emily corrected him firmly.She took a calming breath — she could hardly blame a total stranger for mistaking her married status when her own husband forgot it when it suited him...and just lately it seemed to suit him most of the time, she brooded darkly.
"Sorry, but I'm afraid I need to see some identification."
"I'm Mrs. Lynch." The guy didn't look like this was ringing any bells for him. "Mrs. Finn Lynch." Your boss, she felt like adding, the genius — according to certain reputable financial journals — who, in 10 years, had turned the software company that bore his name from a one-man operation into a globally recognizable brand name.
"I'm just going up to see my husband. Don't worry, he's expecting me…" The last bit was a blatant lie, but Emily felt she was entitled to the odd half-truth under the circumstances.
Circumstances being in this case a husband who was lying, selfish rat!
The young man's expression hardened perceptibly.
"You'll have to come up with a better one than that! Mr. Lynch is here, but Mrs. Lynch is already with him and has been all night!" he revealed with an air of triumph.
So what's new, Emily felt like asking.
Emily hadn't minded — well not much — that Finn seemed to have forgotten it was their third anniversary. In her mood of euphoria she'd been inclined to forgive him almost anything — almost!
During the three years they'd been together Emily had got used to Finn's unique concept of time. So for the first hour she'd spent waiting for him this evening, she had managed to carry on smiling, anticipating the expression on his face when she finally got to share her news.
It wasn't until he was three hours late and the meal she'd lovingly prepared was a shriveled mess that her resentment had kicked in, big time!
"Hello, Maeve speaking."
Hearing the husky tone of Finn's glamorous ex-wife Maeve answering the phone when she'd rang his office had transformed Emily's resentment into full-blown rage!
"I'll have to ask you to leave," the security guard announced brusquely, interrupting her thoughts.
"Mrs. Lynch... How are you?"
Emily turned to see a familiar figure clad in the same security uniform as the young man. "Very well, thanks, Alec. I was just on my way up to see Finn," she explained as the older man escorted her past his stunned looking junior toward the lift.
"I've brought some dinner for him." She held aloft the bag into which she'd scooped the miserable remains of their celebratory dinner.
"Have a nice meal," Alec said as he pushed the lift button for her. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to find.
Sitting side by side on the chunky leather sofa in Finn's office, her husband and his ex-wife were chinking glasses as Emily, her chin up but her heart breaking, walked in. They didn't hear her; they were too wrapped up in each other.
"Happy anniversary, darling," Emily drawled, emptying the contents of her bag into her husband's lap.
Finn shot to his feet, causing the nasty congealing mess to spill onto his shoes.
Emily surveyed the damage and felt a pleasant glow of malicious satisfaction. Her only regret was that the shoes weren't the hideously expensive handmade numbers he often wore. Today he'd ditched the sharp formality of expensive tailoring in favor of the casual look.
Six feet five inches of lean, athletic muscularity, Finn looked incredible in anything he wore. The gene pool had been kind to him: along with the curly dark eyelashes and stunning blue Irish eyes he'd inherited from his mother, Finn had been blessed with his Italian grandfather's classical profile and warm, golden Mediterranean coloring.
"What is this?" The initial shock over, Finn looked fastidiously disgusted, but rigidly in control.
Antipathy flared afresh in Emily's tight chest as their eyes met and clashed. "Oysters, duck in raspberry sauce, asparagus, baby new potatoes and, oh, profiteroles — all your favorites."
Maeve, who'd always been under the impression her ex's schoolteacher wife was boringly placid, gasped at the sheer audacity of this provocative response.
Maeve looked up to check out how Finn was taking it; she knew he was less bothered than most men by the idea of looking foolish, but even he had his limits. She was shocked and a little envious to discover that Finn's burning, distracted gaze was fixed on the area where two buttons of his wife's long shapeless coat had parted to reveal a sliver of slim pale thigh.
"Thanks, but I've already eaten," Finn returned thickly. His concentration was totally shot wondering what, if anything, Emily had on under her coat.
"It was so considerate of you to let me know."
"Something came up."
For Finn this was quite an elaborate explanation.
"So I see," Emily sneered, glaring with unambiguous animosity at the older woman, who looked embarrassed.
"Emily!" Finn's voice was harsh with warning.
Emily watched Maeve stand up; a man's woman, all sleek, slinky, and oozing sex appeal. "I'll leave you two to..."
"No, Don't go, Maeve!" Finn appealed as his ex-wife shrugged on a fur-trimmed coat.
Misery tightened like a fist around Emily's heart. He'd never begged her to do anything: Finn demanded and she, like the besotted, love-sick fool she was, gave — and gave, and gave...
"If she doesn't go, I will," Emily, close to bursting into tears, announced belligerently.
Mouthing "sorry" to a furious looking Finn, Maeve slipped tactfully away.
"You put Maeve in an impossible position," Finn censured icily as the door closed.
"You put me in an impossible position when you carried on working with your ex-wife on a daily basis after we were married. I don't expect you not to see her," she admitted, trying to be fair. "You have a child together…"
"Not again!" Finn groaned. "I've told you, it doesn't matter to me whether or not you and I can have children." He knew from bitter experience that Emily wouldn't believe him.
Now was her chance to tell him. Emily opened her mouth and heard herself say.
"Are you sleeping with Maeve, Finn?"
Did I really say that?
Throat tight and aching, heart thudding, but looking defiantly unrepentant — on the outside at least — Emily met Finn's outraged glare head on.
"I'm touched more than I can say by this display of trust," he bit out softly.
Emily flushed uncomfortably under his icily ironic gaze, but her soft jaw firmed stubbornly.
"That wasn't an answer, Finn, that was a strategic distraction!" Her eyes narrowed. Didn't people avoid answering questions when they had something to hide?
His lip curled. "No, Emily, that was disillusioned distaste."
Emily flushed. "What am I meant to think?"
"Possibly that I meant the vows I made on our wedding day?"
"You made the same vows to Maeve," she pointed out.
Finn's expression darkened with annoyance. "That was different."
"How exactly?"
"Just different!" Her normally articulate husband came to an abrupt halt, his gaze sliding uncomfortably from hers.
To Emily these signs of evasion were condemning. Oh, hell! Up to this point she hadn't really thought he was sleeping with Maeve — not deep down.
"You can't deny you see more of her than you do me!" Could I sound more childish if I tried?
"Besides being Adam's mother, the woman is my marketing director, of course I spend time with her! You knew that situation wasn't going to alter when you married me."
"Sure, you laid down the rules, as usual," she observed belligerently.
"Maybe I just enjoy Maeve's company more?" Finn suggested, the maverick pulse in his lean left cheek working overtime.
"And maybe I've got tired of playing the understanding wife to your selfish husband!" she flung back.
"My enjoyment of her company could have something to do with the fact Maeve doesn't expect me to account for my movements in minute detail."
The gross unfairness of this remark took Emily's breath away. She'd shown the tolerance of a saint!
"Trying to take an interest in what your partner does is not jealousy."
"You just asked me whether I was sleeping with my ex-wife," he reminded her dryly. "What would you call that?" Finn raked a hand through his thick glossy dark hair; the gesture was one of intense weariness. "Maeve isn't the problem here, your pathological jealousy and lack of self-esteem is."
"I had oodles of self-esteem before I married you! What are you doing...?" She quavered in alarm as her husband began to unzip the jeans he was wearing.
"What does it look like?" he asked kicking off his soiled trainers.
Emily's breath snagged in her throat as his jeans followed the same route. Parts of her that shouldn't started to tingle. Even seething with hot resentment just looking at Finn's lean, bronzed body could turn her bones to water. She watched as he shed his shirt and selected some fresh clothes from the concealed storage cupboards lining the wall.
Clad in a pair of boxers, he turned. Emily took one look into his smoldering eyes and realized even before her gaze dropped that the sexual tension had not been a one-way thing.
"What have you got on under that thing?" he demanded in a raw voice that made her quivering stomach muscles spasm.
Emily gasped audibly and looked away, but not before Finn had seen the soft unfocused sensual glaze slide into her wide, liquid-brown eyes. He smiled.
"You think sex solves everything!" she accused hoarsely.
An inherently honest person, Emily was forced to concede that her own attitude might have contributed more than a little to his assumption! The problem was, no matter how unreasonable Finn might be, or how mad he made her, when he touched her she was lost. Finn had come along with his sinful smile and wicked laughing eyes and a sensual side of her nature that she'd been blissfully ignorant of had hungrily awoken.
"It's as good a place to start as any," Finn drawled languidly.
"What sort of insensitive idiot would even think about making love at a time like this?" Emily wondered scathingly.
"The sort of insensitive idiot you fell in love with and married, and if I — being the injured party here — am prepared to forgive and forget…"
"Your generosity is astounding."
Finn grinned appreciatively at her sarcastic riposte.
It had been one of the great delights in his life to discover the restrained, shy, wide-eyed schoolteacher he'd fallen for at first sight possessed a sharp tongue, a clever wit, and a passionate warm nature. Far from being scared by his passionate advances as he'd feared, she'd responded with a rapturous enthusiasm and lack of inhibition that had knocked him sideways. And still did.
"I suppose some people find your arrogance attractive."
"You did." Mockery glittered savagely in his electric blue eyes as he lifted her chin gently with one finger.
Closing her eyes tight was about the only defence left to Emily. As defences went, it wasn't great.
"I pretended." Her voice emerged as a breathy whisper. "Don't do that, Finn," she pleaded throatily as she felt him unfastening the buttons on her coat.
"Why, you're hot... I know you're hot."
His silky, suggestive drawl sent Emily's temperature soaring another few sizzling degrees, and her eyes fluttered open. Her needy gaze fastened on his face at the same moment her coat slid to the ground with a rush.
Emily heard his stark sibilant intake of breath, and saw his eyes widen.
"Did you put that on for me?"
His husky words brought back vividly the elation and confidence she'd felt when she'd dressed earlier that evening. It brought back even more vividly how miserable it had felt sitting there alone watching the minutes tick by.
It was obvious to Finn even before she replied in that wooden little voice that he'd said the wrong thing.
"Yes, I put it on for you, Finn. I put it on when I thought that for once you'd come home when you said you would."
"I didn't forget it was our anniversary, Emily."
"That only makes it worse!"
"There is an explanation…"
"I don't want an explanation, Finn, I just want to know one thing. If I asked you to sack, Maeve, would you?"
In two seconds flat Finn's mobile features were wiped clear of all warmth and animation.
"I don't respond well to blackmail, Emily. Neither am I about to pander to your insecurities." Eyes icy cold, nostrils flared, he regarded her with chilling detachment. "Maeve has always been a loyal and valuable member of the team."
Not to mention the mother of his son and his first love! "I'll take that as a no, shall I?"
"Why do you feel so threatened by Maeve?"
Emily's jaw dropped. Was he for real?
"Other than the fact you were drinking champagne with her on our anniversary? Let me see…." She pressed a finger to her pursed lips and adopted an expression of intense concentration. "I'm deeply irrational?" The fake smile vanished as she lifted her narrowed eyes to his face. "Or I suppose it could have something to do with the fact you're virtually joined at the hip to someone who is incredibly beautiful, talented, has your baby…"
Swearing harshly under his breath Finn grabbed his wife by the waist and hauled her roughly against him.
"I didn't marry you for your childbearing hips, woman." His hands slid down until his thumbs rested on the soft curve of her narrow pelvis.
Emily's foxy red hair, soft and silky, brushed underneath his chin as her head fell forward against his chest. With a groan Finn pressed his face into the burnished mass, inhaling deeply the sweet, freshly washed smell. His hand moved under the short skirt of her dress and he felt her shiver as his fingers moved over the silky soft skin of her inner thigh.
"Cut that out, Finn!" Emily, on the point of dissolving, yelped, pulling free just as his tongue started doing shivery delicious things behind her ear.
"What?"
"Don't look the innocent, Finn! You know I can't think when you…" The raw sensual glint in his eyes made her stomach flip. "And put some clothes on," she added hoarsely. "This isn't about getting pregnant, Finn. Well, not entirely," honesty impelled her to add. "Actually I…"
"Actually what?"
Emily shook her head, you couldn't use a baby to paper over the cracks in a marriage. "It's about the basics."
"Basics?" He regarded her with obvious impatience.
"Things like you letting me share things with you."
"I share."
"No, Finn, that's Maeve you're thinking of. I'm Emily, the dumb redhead you keep at home."
"Sure, keep 'em barefoot and tied to the sink, that's my style."
"Don't be flippant! I want to be involved, Finn. I want to know about the things that worry you."
"You worry me when you talk like this."
"Sometimes you treat me more like a mistress than a wife!" she accused hotly.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"This isn't a joke!" she raged.
Finn looked into her stormy distressed face and drew a deep breath before gritting his teeth. "I know how much this baby issue matters to you. If you want, I'll go with you for tests and things."
Emily didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was touched by what for him was obviously an enormous sacrifice, but also frustrated by his inability to see what she was trying to say.
"Have you listened to anything I've been saying, Finn?" she despaired. "And don't worry, there won't be any need for tests and things, because I'm pregnant!"
There was only so long a girl could hold her breath, Emily thought. Finn hadn't leapt for joy at the news she was pregnant — in fact, he hadn't moved a muscle.
"Well I know this isn't new for you, but I was expecting a moderate display of pleasure." Unless, of course, he'd changed his mind? He already had Adam; perhaps the boy satisfied all his paternal needs.
Finn blinked. "You…" The muscles in his throat worked convulsively. "You're pregnant?" He grabbed her by the forearms. "Pregnant…!"
Emily watched the slow wondering smile break out across his dark face and felt a surge of relief.
"I did the test this morning. Well, actually," she admitted, "I did three — just to be on the safe side. I had it all planned I was going to tell you over dinner, only —"
"— I didn't turn up." He grimaced and Emily pushed aside the unwelcome thought that he looked guilty. "I've got terrible timing. God, what a hell of a coincidence!"
"You're pleased then?" she asked, feeling for some reason ridiculously shy.
"I'm stunned," Finn breathed honestly. What man wouldn't be, discovering he was about to become a father. Although he thought of Adam as his own son — and as far as the rest of the world was concerned the boy was — it wasn't the same as knowing you'd created a life with the woman you loved.
"Stunned happy?"
Finn swept his wife into his arms and kissed her lingeringly. "Stunned, deliriously happy and of course, relieved."
"Relieved?"
"Relieved that I won't have to subject my person to the indignities of medical intervention."
"Well it was never going to happen, was it?" she pointed out, amused by his squeamish shudder. "I mean, your fertility was never under question — you've got Adam."
An odd expression flickered momentarily into her husband's brilliant blue eyes. "God, yes, I hadn't thought of that."
Emily had. She'd only shared her thoughts on the subject once with Finn, who had said he'd strangle her if he heard the word blame in that context again. She'd believed him.
It was only now that Emily could finally admit that her desire for Finn's baby had put their marriage under a lot of strain lately.
Emily linked her fingers behind Finn's neck and twisted the dark hair that lay against his nape. "What would you like, a boy or girl?"
"Surprise me."
She gave a contented sigh. "Earlier, when you said something about a coincidence, what did you mean?" she wondered idly.
"You're not the only one who's pregnant."
"I'm not? Who else...?" It would be nice to have someone else to compare pregnancy notes with, she thought, burrowing into his shoulder.
"Maeve told me tonight that Adam is going to have a little brother or sister, hence the champagne." He felt Emily stiffen in his embrace before she pushed away.
"Maeve is having a baby?" Please don't let it be….
"Apparently."
"And who is the father?"
Finn regarded the signs of tension and hostility in his wife's rigid figure with deepening misgivings and growing incomprehension.
"Actually, Maeve isn't too keen on anyone knowing —"
The shifty look could mean only one thing. "How could you, Finn?"
"How could I what?" He got no reply; Emily was gone.
By the time Finn emerged from the lift into reception he had worked out what Emily had meant. This accounted for the red haze of fury dancing before his eyes.
"Anything I can do, sir?" The youthful figure behind the desk asked, trying hard not to look at the boss's bare feet.
Another button came off and Finn gave up on fastening his shirt. "Which way did my wife go?" he barked unsmilingly.
"Which one, sir?"
The savage expression on his employer's lean face as the laser blue eyes slid over him convinced the young man he was about to lose his job or maybe even his teeth.
He let out a silent sigh of relief as the rigid tall figure stalked wordlessly past him.
Finn recalled again the expression of tearful reproach in Emily's eyes and ground his teeth. She thought — the woman he loved, the soon-to-be mother of his child actually thought... He pressed his foot to the car floor, felt the powerful engine respond, and reflected bitterly on the sheer perversity of females in general, and his wife in particular.
"I wish I'd never seen the damned woman!" he snarled out loud.
His grim expression lightened fractionally as his mind drifted back to the first moment he'd ever seen Emily. A tiny thing with a cloud of wayward burnished curls, melting brown eyes, and a wide kissable mouth. The combination had stopped him in his tracks. Finn had felt physical attraction before, but nothing had ever approached the exultant sense of recognition he'd experienced at that moment. She was his — it was that simple!
"Adam's very artistic, Mr. Lynch," she'd said gravely as she handed him the childish daub. "You must be very proud of him."
Adam, clearly besotted by his new nursery teacher, had only reluctantly relinquished her slim hand to take his father's. Finn had understood the boy's reluctance totally.
Finn had gone straight back to the house he shared with Maeve and asked her for a divorce. It was something they'd both agreed should happen if one of them eventually met someone that mattered. There would be no bitter recriminations, and all arrangements would have to disrupt Adam as little as possible.
Despite this agreement Finn could tell Maeve had been taken aback by his request. He didn't blame her; he was pretty taken aback himself, as their unconventional arrangement had worked pretty well for five years.
"Who is she?" Maeve had asked.
"I don't know her name, but she's not wearing a ring."
Maeve had regarded the man she thought she knew so well with growing fascination. "You looked?"
Finn nodded. "Definitely no ring."
"Don't you think, Finn, that it might be an idea to get to know this woman-without-a-ring a little before you do anything drastic?" an amused Maeve had asked. "Perhaps a date…?"
Finn had shaken his head decisively, his expression quite ruthless as he'd observed, "No, she's not the sort who would get involved with a married man." And he didn't want an affair, which was strange because Finn Lynch, despite his wedded state, had never thought of himself as the marrying kind.
"You could tell that just by looking?" Maeve asked wonderingly.
"Most definitely."
He'd been right. It had been an uphill battle to get Emily to date him after the divorce came through. Unfortunately, she'd got it into her head that he was acting on the rebound, and he was in no position to put her straight.
Finn drew up outside the 16th-century, half-timbered cottage he and Emily shared. A taxi was still parked on the forecourt. This was going to be tough.
"I've got money inside," Emily assured the cynical-looking taxi driver.
"But you don't have a key?"
Emily's embarrassed blush deepened. "They were both in my coat."
"Which you forgot, right?" He'd heard it all before. In his experience the ones with the posh accents, in the fancy clothes, were often the worst culprits.
"It's the truth!"
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," came the laconic response. "But either way it doesn't pay my bill, lady."
"The little window in the utility room is open," Emily exclaimed excitedly. "If you gave me a leg up I could get through, I'm sure I could!"
"The man looks far too sensible to be party to a breaking and entering."
Emily recoiled, not only from the blast of cold air that entered the cab as the passenger door was flung open, but also from the grim-faced owner of the deep voice.
"Don't listen to him!" Emily instructed the driver rigidly. "Go away, Finn! she hissed, throwing the tall figure a look of loathing.
"I'm not going anywhere. I live here, remember?" Finn drawled.
Emily was the first to look away, unable to withstand further contact with the scornful blaze in his spectacular eyes. What a cheek! From the way he was looking at her anyone would think he was the injured party!
Not that she could blame Finn entirely. It had been obvious right from the outset that he hadn't been telling her everything about his divorce. Why hadn't she listened to her instincts? Because you were too damned eager to jump into Finn's bed is why, came the humiliating reply.
The driver rubbed his chin. "Seems to me as though he's got a point, love."
"It's got nothing to do with him!" Emily responded shrilly.
"Listen, I don't want to get mixed up in a domestic dispute — I just want my money." He looked hopefully at Finn, who nodded and reached into his trouser pocket.
His hand came out empty.
"I must have left my wallet in my other trousers."
The driver sighed. "That figures. You know, you two are well suited. Between you, you might even have a full set of clothes." His disparaging gaze shifted from Emily's dress to Finn's bare feet.
"I think," Emily commented in her best schoolteacher voice, "that you're a very rude man! I shall climb in the window myself," she announced.
"Do you really think you're dressed for it, Emily?"
Emily felt her nipples pinch hard and tight as Finn's insolent blue glance dropped deliberately to the bare upper slopes of her breasts. To think I bought this dress with the purpose of seducing him!
It was comforting to know that, if he dared comment on the appearance of her breasts — and Finn was crude enough to do so, thought Emily, choosing to overlook the fact she'd often enjoyed Finn's crudeness — she could blame these physical developments on the cold, for it was teeth-jarringly freezing.
It was at that point Finn decided not to mention the spare key he kept in the Jag!
Standing in the darkness of the herb garden, Emily could just about make out the small window and, yes, it was open. Her satisfaction was short-lived; actually it wasn't small, it was very small, and it looked an awful lot higher up than she'd mentally pictured. Getting in by this route would call for a ladder and a good head for heights, neither of which she possessed.
"Are you going to stand there all night?"
Emily jumped and spun around, her heart racing.
"How did you get in there?" she demanded indignantly of the tall dark figure suddenly outlined in the golden light filling the open doorway.
Finn dangled a key ring and thumbed through a healthily thick wallet. "Spare key and cash in the car. My days as a Boy Scout were not wasted after all. Always be prepared," he quoted virtuously.
Not always, he hadn't been, Emily recalled, lowering her eyes in panicky confusion as the intrusive recollection of the first time they'd made love crept into her head. She remembered lying there in a blitzed condition staring at the ceiling, feeling the warm fluttery aftershocks of the shattering climax. A good-night kiss that hadn't been!
"Oh my god!" she'd mumbled for the umpteenth time since his heavy frame had finally slipped off her trembling, sweat-slick body.
"If anything happens, you mustn't worry, Emily."
Emily nodded. She supposed she should have been sensibly alarmed by the idea of an unwanted pregnancy, but she wasn't feeling sensible.
"I want you to know I don't make a habit of this...carelessness," Finn had emphasized worriedly as he took her chin in his hand and looked into her hazy unfocused eyes.
"Well, you already know that I don't," she replied with a shaky laugh.
The reminder made him flinch.
Finn had been pretty devastated to discover that he was her first. In fact, if she hadn't assured him he'd have her death on his conscience if he didn't continue, Emily was pretty sure he would have stopped right then! Thank God he hadn't!
"Hell, I'm so sorry, I was too…"
Emily had halted the torrent of self-recrimination with a kiss. "Too gorgeous for words is what you are!" she'd told him firmly. "You were incredible, Finn!" she'd whispered rapturously. "It was amazing, and when can we do it again?"
"Come on in before you get hypothermia, woman!"
Finn's irritated voice tugged her back to the present.
"I think I already have," she jittered. Wrapping her arms around her body, she walked past him into the small vestibule that led into the heart of their home — the big farmhouse kitchen.
She took a seat at the big refectory table bought at an antique fair on a weekend trip they'd taken to Normandy. Had he and Maeve been...together even then? Had they ever not? I'm my mother all over again, she thought in self-disgust, acknowledging her deepest fear.
Emily had known about her father's mistress, the whole village had known, but not her mother.
Finn, after seeing she was literally shaking with cold, opened the lids on the woodstove that sat in the inglenook. Extra heat immediately flooded the room.
"I don't know why you're looking at me like that, Emily. Things are going to plan, aren't they? Haven't I done what I was supposed to do — run after you?"
"I didn't want you to run after me!" she denied, thrown off balance by his cool observation.
"Sure, it must have come as an enormous surprise when I turned up," he drawled. "I suppose the next thing I'm supposed to do is plead with you to believe that Maeve's baby isn't mine?"
His eyes hardened. "Well, news flash, sweetheart. I'm not going to!"
Shaking with shock and revulsion, Emily pressed her cold, stiff fingertips to her trembling lips.
"Then you're admitting you're…"
"The only thing I'm admitting," Finn bit back, "is that I've had a gut full of justifying myself to you, Emily. How do you think it makes me feel to know the woman I love thinks I run around the country impregnating other women!" he thundered. "Tell me, do I act as if our sex life doesn't satisfy me?" he demanded. "Well?"
Mutely, she shook her head. The only time he'd displayed any dissatisfaction was when, after months of tedious temperature taking and ovulation charts, he'd walked into the bathroom they shared and before her astounded eyes had flushed the whole lot down the toilet.
"We'll make love," he'd announced authoritatively, "when we feel like it. I won't be limited to only touching my wife when she's likely to conceive. And if we meet at lunchtime to make love, it will be because we can't wait until the evening. I won't be rationed — I'm a man not a machine!"
Overawed by this macho display and secretly relieved to ditch the whole palaver, Emily had meekly nodded.
"Not women," she protested weakly. He loves me? She clung to those three all-important words when the rest of her world seemed to be disintegrating around her.
"No, not women," he conceded in a leaden tone that made her wince. "Emily. Is it because of Adam? Or can't you stand the idea there was anyone before you?"
Emily shook her head. "I love Adam, you know that." Adam stayed most weekends and Emily loved to see him with Finn, who was a fantastic father. "And I'd much prefer to be your last love than your first," she admittedly warily. At least he didn't reject the idea outright.
"Maeve shares so much with you that I don't, Finn," she tried to haltingly explain. "She's so... How would you feel if I saw an ex-lover every day?" She saw his unguarded expression and knew she'd made her point.
"I'm your only lover."
"I'm talking hypothetically. I feel shut out, excluded when Maeve's around, and I don't know why, but I always get the impression that you two have a secret."
He shrugged. "If we have and I haven't told you, it must be for a good reason."
"You can't say something like that and leave it!" Emily protested.
"I can and I have. This is it, I told you I've had enough." Hands palm-flat on the table, he bent down toward her.
The blood drained from Emily's face leaving her deathly pale. This conversation had suddenly taken a turn she had not reckoned on — a turn that was making her head spin in confusion.
"You're saying you want to...to...split up?"
Why the shock, Emily? a voice in her head taunted. Didn't you always think this would happen? Didn't you always say why would a man like Finn want me? Oh my god! It's some awful self-fulfilling prophecy! Me, I've done this. I've virtually pushed the man I love into another woman's arms.
"No, I don't want us to split up."
Because of the baby, a spiteful voice she tried hard to ignore suggested.
"But this is about trust, Emily. We've got no future until you start trusting me."
The echo of his uncompromising words resounded in Emily's ears as the silence between them stretched. With each passing second of horrid hush it became harder and harder to speak.
Head bent, her red hair brushing the table, Emily looked at his hands pressed down against the wood, his knuckles white. Finn had the most incredible hands.
What am I doing getting turned on by hands when my entire future happiness is hanging in the balance? she asked herself angrily. Subconscious delaying tactics...because you're a coward, came the knowledgeable mental response.
Pull yourself together, girl, think, — this is important. Say the right thing, she instructed herself sternly. Do not mess it up!
"That sounds like an ultimatum, Finn."
As displays of calm objectivity went, this quavering effort was pathetic. After taking a deep gulp, she forced herself to meet his eyes.
Immediately she got a blast of the grim, angry implacability she'd been expecting, but that wasn't all. It was the other thing she saw that really got to her — the faintest suggestion of vulnerability in those crystal-blue depths that only someone who knew Finn very well could have detected.
Arrogant, assured, assertive, borderline bossy...these things she associated with her husband. Insecurities just never entered the picture. I'm so caught up in how I'm feeling, I've not spared a thought for what this is doing to Finn.
"Ultimatum?" Finn shook his head. "No, I'm just stating a fact, Emily, not making a grand gesture. You must know that your jealousy and suspicion is driving a wedge between us," he continued, his normally expressive voice dull and deadened.
"This should be the best of times for us, we should be celebrating our baby." He walked around the table and, falling to his knees, pressed his head against her still-flat stomach.
Emily gasped, feeling the pressure of his warm lips through the fine fabric, the heat spreading like arrows of fire through her body. "We should be enjoying every second of this time, sweetheart."
She felt tears fill her eyes. "Before I get fat and ugly, you mean?"
He lifted his dark head. "Lush and lovely," he contradicted huskily.
In that second Emily believed totally in the love shining in his eyes.... There would be other seconds, though, when the doubts and fears would slip back. Emily found herself wanting to explain everything, just like she had all those other times. Only each time she'd tried, something clenched inside her and she couldn't. The same thing happened again now.
"I have a problem with trust and men, Finn. I'm so sorry," was all she could manage. It sounded horribly inadequate.
If he ever got hold of the man who had made her lose her faith in the whole damned sex, he'd personally throttle him, Finn decided grimly.
"I'm not men," he gritted. "I'm your husband. Not a particularly brilliant one maybe," he conceded dryly. "I might forget to telephone you when I should sometimes. I might make too many unilateral decisions."
"Might…?"
Finn returned her watery grin with his own wolfish version. "It's not like I don't want to — I just don't know how," he admitted. "I knew my life would change when we got married. Hell, I wanted it to, but I wasn't prepared.…" His shoulders lifted. "Blame it on the fact I've been a solo act for too long, able to do what I want, when I want.…"
"But, Finn," Emily interrupted with a perplexed frown. "What about all the years you were with Maeve?"
Finn froze. "Oh God, yes, I forgot."
Forgot...?
"You were talking as if you'd never been married before." As much as Emily would have liked to wipe out those years he'd shared with Maeve, she couldn't pretend they hadn't existed; and Finn had never behaved as if he wanted to. "Three years is quite a long time."
"Perhaps I'm a slow learner."
Emily's confusion deepened as his eyes slid warily from hers.
"I wasn't talking about being married to Maeve," he said softly. "I was talking about being married to you." Hands pressed against his muscular thighs, he drew himself upright in one lithe motion.
"How different could it be?" she blurted out without thinking. If he thought she was requesting some sort of compare and contrast thing, she'd die!
"More different than you could ever believe."
"You know how much I hate it when you're cryptic." Her faint smile faded when there was no answering glint of humor in his own face. "How different can it be?" she repeated. Instinct made her grab for his shirttail as he made to turn from her.
"Just different."
"Why are you being defensive?" she challenged.
"I am not being defensive."
"Yes, you are — defensive, secretive, furtive…"
"Don't be ridiculous, Emily, I just don't want to discuss my previous marriage with you."
The combination of ice and impatience in his face and voice made Emily see red.
"For God's sake, Finn!" she exploded. "I'm not asking for details of your sex life." Her eyes narrowed. "You really shouldn't play poker, darling."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you look as guilty as sin, and don't you dare refer to my pathological suspicions!" she yelled.
It wasn't easy to fight on equal terms with someone who was towering over you, so Emily unhooked her ankles from around the barley-twist legs of her oak chair and made to get to her feet. She was halfway through the simple procedure before she realized she couldn't feel her right foot. Had Finn not seen her dilemma and caught her, she'd have fallen.
"What is it?" he demanded, turning her face up to him.
Emily blinked as his blue eyes raked her face. They looked incredibly brilliant against a complexion that had become unnaturally pale and strained.
"Speak to me!" he demanded hoarsely.
The soundless little gasp that escaped her parted lips as her body grew limp in his arms didn't soothe his alarm. He was no medical expert but even he could tell her breathing had changed perceptibly, getting shallow and worryingly rapid. He swore softly under his breath as her eyes half closed.
"Emily!" He shook her slightly and was relieved when her dark lashes lifted off her cheek. "Are you ill, sweetheart? Shall I call a doctor — ambulance...? Oh, God, it's not the baby?"
"No, no — the baby's fine, I'm fine." she managed to breathlessly reassure him. "A numb foot — must have been sitting awkwardly. Pins and needles now."
"Well, you don't look fine," Finn responded with a suspicious frown.
Emily felt the prickling heat that already bathed her body rush up to her neck, and it didn't stop until her whole face was burning.
"That, you stupid man, is because you're too…" She threw him an exasperated look as he shook his head. "Do you want me to draw a diagram? I can't look at you without going weak at the knees, okay! I'm turned on, you fool!"
"I suppose you're happy now!" Emily accused belligerently before burying her hot face against his shirt. Unfortunately for her sanity, it wasn't fastened properly and she found her face pressed against golden, satiny hard skin.
Unforgivably, Finn laughed — a rich, possessive sound.
"I suppose this is your idea of changing the subject?" she accused wildly. "Well, it won't work!" Who are you kidding?
"I didn't do anything," he protested.
He didn't need to.
"It isn't me," she said defensively. "Pregnancy messes with a woman's hormones. I've heard it makes some women go off sex altogether." He wouldn't like that, but then if the tables were turned, neither would she. "What?" she cried distractedly as she felt him lift the heavy weight of her hair off her neck.
"Now I'm doing something," Finn explained gravely as he slid the zip of her dress all the way down in one smooth motion.
Emily gasped and pulled away in alarm as the slippery material parted, making a sexy, whispery noise. She stood frozen as the dress peeled away from her body. It wasn't until she felt the touch of fresh air on the aching peaks of her tender, full breasts that she looked down.
Her heaving breasts were completely exposed; only the fact that the shoulder straps were snagged halfway down her slim upper arms had stopped further revelations.
Her darkened glance shifted to Finn, but her eyes only got as far as the gap in his shirt and wouldn't move any higher. She watched his chest lift and fall as a deep sigh shuddered through his powerful frame. A thrill of sexual excitement so intense it made her head spin shot through Emily. She knew that if she had an ounce of spirit, she would be putting up some sort of token struggle.
The problem was, where Finn was concerned, she'd always been easy!
"Look at me, Emily."
She felt her already tumultuous heartbeat quicken. With lower lip caught between her teeth, she did as he asked — when had she not?
Emily saw her own desperation mirrored in the fierce burning blue depths of his eyes. She whimpered as her insides dissolved with longing so sweet, so intense, she couldn't breathe.
"I wanted you the very first moment I saw you, Emily, and I've not stopped wanting you since." He reached across and touched the fabric that was slipping sexily over her shoulders. One judicious tug sent it slithering silently to the ground, leaving Emily standing there in a minute pair of pants, lacy stay-up stockings and high-heeled sling-backs.
"Kiss me properly, Finn!" she pleaded throatily.
"I'll do more than that," he promised huskily, scooping her up into his arms.
He did — several times.
It wasn't until very much later that Emily began to think once more about Finn's comments on his previous life: What he wanted, when he wanted. The more she analyzed, the more it seemed likely that he and Maeve had virtually lived their separate lives — had a sort of open marriage.
Just how open — that was the question!
"Finn, are you awake?" she whispered into his ear.
"Uh-huh," came the sleepy reply.
"Did you have other lovers when you were married to…Maeve? Finn! " she repeated, digging him in the ribs.
His dark eyelashes lifted from his cheek. "What...? Oh — yes, some," he mumbled, rolling over.
It was obvious to Emily the next day that Finn had no recollection of either her question or his own reply.
After giving the matter some serious consideration she had decided to leave it that way. Even though what he'd revealed had shocked her deeply, she acknowledged that what Finn had done before he married her was really none of her business.
Of course, if he ever even hinted that he wanted a similar arrangement with her, that would be different, Emily thought grimly, her stomach tightening in distaste at the idea of sexual liaisons outside marriage.
Emily would have enjoyed the next few days of fragile peace between them even more if it hadn't been for the fact that the unpleasant side effects of pregnancy had kicked in with a vengeance.
She looked at the cup of tea the school nurse had left her and forced herself to take a sip even though it made her feel queasy. The door opened and Emily shot to her feet.
"I didn't want them to call you!" she cried defensively as the tall, familiar figure of her husband appeared.
Finn looked at her pale face expressionlessly and closed the door quietly behind him. "So I understand."
"I got a little light-headed and had to lie down, end of story."
"You fainted," he corrected her, "and not for the first time apparently."
Emily grimaced. "Oh, she told you about that, did she?"
"Mentioned it in passing. For some reason the headmistress seemed to think that I might know all about it."
Emily winced at the biting sarcasm in his tone. "What are you doing?" she asked as he removed her coat from the coatrack behind the door.
"Taking you home."
"I can't go home — I've got a class to teach."
"No, you haven't. They're making other arrangements."
"Don't I have any say in the matter?" Deep down Emily was secretly relieved, but she couldn't encourage such high-handed behavior.
Finn placed the coat over her slender shoulders and spun her around to face him. It was at that moment that Emily realized just how ferociously angry he was.
"No!" he growled. "You don't. I just can't believe how stupid you're being," he breathed incredulously. "If your dizzy spells are just that, fair enough, but hasn't it occurred to you they may be a symptom of an underlying problem? Didn't it cross your mind that you might be putting yourself and the baby at risk by ignoring them?"
"Oh!" Emily gulped suddenly. Her stoic behavior seemed criminally reckless. "I didn't want you to think I was one of those feeble women who expect to be waited on hand and foot just because they're pregnant."
Finn looked totally bewildered. "What are you talking about?"
Her lower lip quivered. "Maeve doesn't get morning sickness." She knew this because Finn had told her so while he was mopping her fevered brow after a particularly horrid bout of throwing up.
"What the hell has that got to do with anything? Alan Martin is waiting at home to check you over."
"You can't expect a consultant gynecologist to make a house call, Finn!" Emily protested. "You can't carry me," she added urgently, as he swept her up into his arms.
"Why not?" he responded, on both counts.
"Oh God, the dinner party!" she wailed, suddenly recalling the important clients they were meant to be entertaining that evening.
"Don't panic, Maeve has already offered to stand in for you."
"Isn't that nice of Maeve."
"Yes, isn't it," Finn responded absently, totally failing to detect the irony in his wife's bitter tone.
Dinner parties weren't a high priority with him at that particular moment. Sorting out his wife's health problems were.
He'd been in a state of frustrated anxiety ever since he'd received the urgent call from the head of the kindergarten. It hadn't improved matters to discover that this wasn't the first time Emily had been ill at work. Realizing she'd not seen it fit to confide in him had made Finn angrier than he'd have thought possible.
Until he'd walked into the room and seen her standing there looking heartbreakingly fragile, Finn had had every intention of reading her the riot act. One look into those big brown eyes and his righteous indignation had melted, to be replaced by an equally strong desire to shield her from any and all ills.
Well, this child was going to be a one-off. No way was Emily getting pregnant again, he decided, brooding grimly on the unacceptably high risk, major discomfort factors of pregnancy that frivolous people skimmed over.
"I don't suppose Maeve is feeling sick or fainting." Emily remarked as he placed her in the front passenger seat of the Jag.
"I don't suppose she is." Finn slid in beside her.
"I expect she's glowing."
"Probably. Try and have a nap or something, we'll be home in no time," he promised.
Emily closed her eyes but all she could see was that woman presiding over her dinner table, charming the pants off everyone, including Finn — especially Finn!
Finn stayed while the doctor examined her, and Emily suspected the distinguished medic's noncommittal grunts frustrated him as much as they did her.
"So, what's the verdict, Alan?"
"Well, there's no need to worry."
In unison Finn and Emily sighed gustily with relief. They looked at one another and grinned.
"However, she's obviously exhausted, and her blood pressure is a little low…."
"And that is bad?" Finn cut in impatiently.
"Not necessarily, but I think you might be a trifle anemic, Emily. I'll send off the blood sample to check, but in the meantime we might start you on some iron therapy. Iron deficiency anemia is perfectly normal in pregnancy, especially when... You are sure of your dates?"
Emily nodded worriedly, sensing a big but coming.
Oh God, there's something wrong with the baby, she thought suddenly. Panic blanketed her; it was like drowning, but in the middle of it all she felt Finn's big strong hand close comfortingly over hers. Looking up, her eyes met his. His gaze was calm and soothingly confident, helping her to get a grip on her feelings.
"Well, I'd say from palpation that — you understand that I can't say definitely without a scan?" He looked from Emily to Finn.
"For goodness' sake, man, spit it out!" Finn exploded, raking an unsteady hand through his thick hair.
"Well, you're either having a very large baby, or more likely...twins."
"Oh my God!" Finn sank down onto the bed, his face white. "Twins!" he echoed in a hollow voice. "You're sure?"
"No, I'm not sure, but I'd say the odds are heavily stacked."
Emily didn't need the scan: Call it maternal instinct, call it a gut feeling, but she knew.…
"Twins," Finn repeated, as if saying it again would make the prospect any more real. It didn't.
This time it was Emily's small hand that closed comfortingly around his.
"Well, I'll arrange a scan for the morning to confirm, and don't forget, Emily, eat little amounts often until the nausea stops. Bad sickness is more common with twins, too," Alan added cheerfully as he clicked shut his case.
Finn got to his feet. "I'll see you out." As soon as the bedroom door closed behind them, he turned to the doctor. "Twins means increased risks — right?"
"Well, with proper medical care and…"
"Cut the soothing pep talk. Just give me the facts and figures," Finn cut in impatiently.
Five minutes later Finn returned to the bedroom.
"How do you feel about it?" he asked Emily without preamble.
She pulled herself up onto her knees. "I don't really know," she admitted. "Scared...excited…"
"It'll mean you'll have to take a lot better care of yourself," Finn warned sternly. "No bouncing," he added as she began to excitedly rock back and forth, hugging her knees.
"Lots of people have twins," she teased.
"I don't care about lots of people, just you," he announced with a fierce possessive look that made her heart pound.
"I won't be wrapped in cotton wool," she warned him. "And before you say anything, I need to work for a while yet. If I have too much time on my hands," she explained earnestly, "I'll only worry. I won't do anything silly — cross my heart," she promised. "Work with me on this, Finn, please?"
"When the doctor tells you to quit, you quit — right?"
Emily beamed. "Definitely. Oh, you're so lovely."
"I'm a pushover," he contradicted with a wry smile.
The doorbell rang, and with a frown Finn glanced at his wristwatch. "Hell, that'll be Maeve. I wish I'd canceled the damned dinner."
"Never mind, we can talk when they're all gone," Emily replied, her earlier jealousies almost forgotten in the delight of discovery. "Tell her the starters are in the fridge and — perhaps I should just come down and show her?" She flung the duvet aside.
"No way!" Finn pressed a firm finger to cover her. "We'll cope. You get some rest."
To please him, Emily did lie back down, though she had no expectation of falling asleep. She was too awake, her mind racing. Even so, it wasn't long before a heavy-limbed stupor crept over her.
Emily slept heavily, not even aware of the occasions when Finn left his guests to quietly look in on her. The room was dark when she woke to the sounds of raised, angry voices. Alarmed, she switched on the bedside lamp and saw it was after midnight. She got out of bed and reached for her robe.
Drawn by the sound of voices she went barefoot into the hallway. At the top of the stairs she stopped, realizing that the argument she had heard was taking place just below her.
"James and I have talked this over, Finn, and we think this is too good an opportunity to miss." Emily was startled to identify Maeve's low tones raised in shrill defense. "Please be reasonable about this."
"You can't go to the other side of the world. I won't let you!"
It only took two seconds for Emily's world to came crashing down around her ears as she identified Maeve's antagonist. Finn, her Finn, his voice throbbing with emotion, was begging Maeve to stay because he couldn't bear to be without her.
Hand clamped across her mouth to prevent herself crying out, Emily ran back to their bedroom, heedless of the noise her bare feet made on the polished-oak boards.
She doused the light and flung herself headlong on the bed, only to discover that although she could hide her head beneath a pillow there was no place to hide from the misery coursing through her body.
After all the scorn and disgust she'd felt for her poor mother, who couldn't handle the truth about her husband's infidelity, and chose instead to believe his pathetic lies, it was particularly ironic to find herself in a similar situation. All Emily wanted to do was close her eyes and pretend she hadn't heard the raw anguish in Finn's voice as he contemplated being parted from Maeve.
Emily had no concept of how long she lay there curled up in a fetal ball of denial, but part of her had subconsciously registered that the house had gone very quiet — and stayed that way for some time before the bedroom door finally opened.
Still and tense, hardly daring to breath, she listened to the sounds of Finn shedding his clothes in the dark. Was he going to come to bed and act as if nothing had happened? Was she going to wake up in the morning and act as if nothing had happened...?
The antique brass bed-frame was suddenly shaken as Finn, who must have walked into it in the dark, swore softly. Nerves stretched tight, Emily let out a startled yelp and sat up.
"Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to wake you."
"I wasn't asleep," Emily admitted. "Was it a good party?" she heard herself ask brightly of the shadowy outline beside the bed.
"It was all right." The mattress dipped as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Did the noise wake you?"
Was he sitting there wondering how much she knew?
"I did hear something."
She felt the draft as Finn pulled back the quilt and slid beneath. "Come here." Emily didn't resist as he reached for her, slotting her soft body comfortably against the hard angles of his naked body.
She felt him shudder as he pressed soft kisses into her hair and then not so soft kisses against her mouth. "You smell so good!" he sighed.
His kiss tasted of brandy, Finn who rarely drank. Well if he'd drunk to forget or relax, it hadn't worked; she could feel the tension coiled in his lean frame.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong, Finn?"
He released her and rolled over onto his back.
"Maeve and I had — we fought. You don't want to hear this. I'll tell you about it in the morning."
Emily took a deep breath. "No, Finn, tell me about it now." She sat up and reached for the light.
"No!" An urgent hand curled around her wrist. "Don't turn on the light, Emily. Please."
"Okay." Perhaps he doesn't want to see my face when he tells me...?
"Maeve told me tonight that's she going to New Zealand with this guy she's been seeing — the baby's father. They're talking marriage…."
"New Zealand — that's a long way away." Emily felt physically sick anticipating what was coming next.
His laugh was bitter. "Tell me about it. God, Emily!" he groaned suddenly. "She's taking Adam to the other side of the world and I'll never see him again!"
"Adam!" Of course, Adam.
Emily's misery dissolved, leaving behind only the memory of how bad it would be to lose Finn.
Why hadn't that element of Maeve leaving the country even occurred to her? In her eagerness to think of the very worst scenario, she'd totally failed to consider how traumatic it would be for a dedicated father like Finn to be deprived of his son — not to mention what it would do to the little boy!
An image of Finn and Adam, their two dark heads close together as they discussed the finer points of penalty-taking came into her head, and she blinked back the rush of hot emotional tears that stung her eyes. The total wrongness of separating them hit her.
She reached for the light once more and blinking, turned to her husband. The haggard expression on his handsome face shocked her deeply and increased her escalating sense of outrage.
"She can't take Adam away!" Emily declared hotly. "You can't let her, Finn." A militant light entered her narrowed eyes. "We must fight her."
Finn listened with fascination to this unexpected declaration of war from his wife. "You're amazing, totally amazing!" he exclaimed wonderingly. The more he thought about his five-feet-two-inch wife being prepared to take on all comers on his behalf, the more he liked it. "My tigress," he teased. "And you present such a gentle, mild-mannered image to the world."
Catching hold of her slim wrists he drew her down until she lay on top of him, her hands resting on the pillow on either side of his face. Her hair brushed against his chest and, against all odds after what had happened, he felt himself becoming aroused.
"She can't do it, can she?" Emily wondered, her smooth brow furrowed as she wriggled against him. "I mean, you're Adam's father, you have rights. Surely, legally...?"
An expression she couldn't work out flickered across Finn's face. "Actually, there might be problems." He cupped her face between his hands.
"Problems?" Emily turned her head to kiss the inside of his palm.
"Unfortunately, I didn't contest Maeve's sole custody when we got divorced."
"But you're not just going to let her...!"
"No, I'm not just going to let her," Finn confirmed, his expression implacable as he contemplated the fight ahead. "But you have to understand, Emily, that things might get — ugly. Stuff might come out that I'd prefer didn't, things that... God, this couldn't come at a worse time."
"For the business?"
"For us personally!" he corrected. "The last thing you need right now is to get embroiled in a legal slanging match.
"You mustn't let my being pregnant influence your decision!"
"Adam's not your child, I thought you might resent…"
Emily's eyes widened indignantly. "As if I would! No, you must do whatever it takes to keep him in the country."
"I will, Emily, I will." Emily was relieved to see the chilling expression on his face fade as his eyes slid to hers. "But, right now…" He slid a hand under the hem of the short night-dress she was wearing and spread his fingers over the firm resilient roundness of her bottom. "Yes?"
She nodded her head eagerly. "Yes, please."
The next morning, slipping quietly from her sleeping husband's side, Emily crept into the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the deep bathtub and punched in a number on the cell phone.
"Hello, Maeve, this is Emily. I think we should talk."
"Can we go to the park, Dad?" Adam Lynch bounced his football on the pavement and looked hopefully up at his father.
Finn intercepted the ball before it bounced into the road. He squatted down to look sternly into a pair of eyes very similar to his own. "What have I told you about playing with the ball in the street?"
"Sorry, Dad."
Finn grinned and ruffled the boy's dark hair; it was impossible to stay mad with Adam for long. "What'll your mom say if you get muddy in the park?"
"I don't expect she'll notice. James said she's not very well — she must be sick, because I heard her crying this morning."
"Is that right. What do you think of James?"
Finn wondered how Adam was going to feel caught in the middle of two warring parents. It was hard not to question whether there wasn't an element of truth in the accusations of selfishness Maeve had flung at him.
Adam's freckled nose wrinkled thoughtfully as he considered the matter. "Oh, he's all right," he conceded. "He can't play football as good as you, though," he added loyally, giving his father's hand a comforting squeeze.
Maeve opened the door to Emily minutes after she'd closed it behind Finn.
"You'd better come in."
Defensive rather than hostile, Emily decided as she followed Maeve through to the drawing room of the elegant Regency terrace.
"Did Finn ask you to come? Because if…"
"No, he doesn't know I'm here."
Emily soothed her conscience with the thought that she hadn't lied to Finn. She had just let him assume, when they'd arranged to meet at the hospital before lunch, that she was going to spend the morning in bed.
One of Maeve's arched brows rose. "Are you feeling better?"
"I didn't come to talk about me."
"Somehow I didn't think you did." Maeve smiled edgily. "Stand if you like, but I'm going to sit down."
Emily didn't follow her example. "How could you do it to him, Maeve?" she exclaimed glaring at the older woman. "You know how much he loves Adam!"
Maeve flushed and lowered her eyes. "Of course I know," she gritted. She lifted her head and Emily was amazed to see the sparkle of tears on her pale lashes. "But I'm allowed a life of my own! It's all right for you to look sneery!" she cried. "You've got Finn, and don't tell me you wouldn't do whatever it takes to keep him!"
Emily shook her head. "Finn would never ask me to do this," she proclaimed with total conviction. "I still don't see how you... Did you ever love him, Maeve?"
The blonde sniffed. "Not when we got married," she admitted, much to Emily's amazement. "But it's hard to live with Finn and not fall in love with him a bit...well, maybe more than a bit. But," she said drawing a deep breath, "it wasn't to be."
"I sympathize with your position, but taking a child away from his father, no matter what the courts say, is a wicked thing to do."
The doorbell started chiming, but neither woman took any notice.
"That may be so, Emily, but Finn isn't Adam's father, is he?" She saw Emily's face and paled. "God, I didn't mean... Forget I said anything."
"Forget?" Emily echoed hoarsely.
Maeve gave a sigh of annoyance. "I'll have to answer that, Emily," Maeve said, referring to the doorbell. "They're not going away."
The next couple of minutes were a total blur for Emily, who stood there wondering if it was her or Maeve who had gone mad. How could Finn not be Adam's father?
"Maeve said you were here." Finn's eyes were fixed warily on his wife's face. "Why are you here?"
Like someone punch-drunk, Emily focused her eyes on the tall figure that had entered the room. "You were taking Adam out for the morning."
"Adam fell and grazed his knees," he explained tersely. "Maeve's doing the necessary."
"Are you Adam's father, Finn?"
Finn took a deep breath before meeting her bewildered eyes. "I'm glad you know. I feel as if it's always been there between us."
"Then it's true! I always knew you were holding something back." But not this, never this! "I thought that you and Maeve were still…" She shook her head. "I don't understand... How?"
"Liam, my younger brother…"
"The one who died in the climbing accident?"
Finn nodded. "Maeve's family only lived a couple of streets away from ours in Dublin. But it wasn't until they both came over here to university that she and Liam got together. Nobody back home knew about it, and neither did I until Maeve came to me after she discovered she was pregnant."
"So…" She shook her head. Her brain seemed to be functioning very slowly. "You married Maeve, she came to work with you, and you let everyone think that Adam was yours."
Finn nodded. "It seemed the obvious thing to do. The baby was a Lynch, he needed a father, and Maeve had no money, no job, and a family that would very likely disown her."
"Surely not!" Emily gasped horrified.
"Maeve's family have very strong views about sex outside marriage."
"Poor Maeve," Emily said, and meant it. "In a really good romance I suppose you'd have fallen in love.…" Not if I had any influence with the author, Emily added silently.
"Me and Maeve!" Finn looked amused and shook his head. "We agreed early on that for Adam's sake, absolutely nobody should ever know the truth," he continued gravely. "How would Adam feel if he discovered one day that his loving parents had never even shared a bed?"
"You were never even lovers!"
"Never, but discreet liaisons were permitted in our rules," he revealed dryly. "I was no monk."
"And love?" she whispered vulnerably.
"That was discussed, though when it happened, I wasn't really prepared." He couldn't recall those months of raw frustration without an inner shudder.
"When did it happen, Finn?"
"I've told you, the moment I saw you."
"I didn't think you meant it literally! It was the same for me," she revealed shyly. "And I felt terribly guilty because you were married. I don't think I stopped being guilty until just now. It's such a relief!" She sighed.
"Then you forgive me, Emily?" he asked warily.
"What's to forgive?" She stepped into his open arms. "Promise me one thing, Finn — no more secrets?"
"How," he began, "do you feel about sealing the deal with a kiss?"
"Don't stop on my account," Maeve said dryly as the entwined couple drew apart. "I just wanted to say that you were right. I'll be telling James that I'm staying here. I know he loves me, and I know he'll stay. We're happy together — and Adam will be happy, too. We'll all make sure of it." As Finn aimed a smile at Maeve, she continued, "No, Finn, don't thank me, thank Emily."
Finn turned to Emily, his eyes blazing with love. "I can't wait to start," he admitted. "My first, last, and only love," he whispered.
The End