Justin paused outside the lavishly decorated shop-front, staring dully at the white lace, the flowers and the embossed stationery. He didn’t need this. He was rich, successful, and drove one of the best cars on the road. He clenched his jaw. So why couldn’t he find the right words to convince one perfect woman to share her life with him?
He ran a hand through his hair. Why was this relationship stuff so hard? Someone should make it straightforward…write down the criteria and boom, along she comes, ready, willing and perfect.
So he’d mucked up proposing to his last girlfriend, Laura. So he may have mentioned the old ball and chain, and that she’d won — she’d got him to propose, finally. And that she’d done what no woman out of the dozens he’d dated had done — she was the death toll to his bachelor days. None of which, he had to admit, went down too well. Which was probably why she’d dumped him and he’d had to find Victoria.
Straight back on the horse was his motto. And Victoria Feathersham was the best of the breed. Long legged, smooth skinned, elegant and beautiful. Perfect.
He stared up at the sign. But a proposal planner?
If anyone other than his sister had suggested professional assistance, he would have laughed them out the door, but his sister, Janice, knew him better than anyone. And if she had finally come round to him marrying Victoria by offering this consultation to him — there was no way he was passing it up. Especially when Janice had set the whole thing up for him. There was nothing for him to do but show up and learn. Easy.
Justin pushed open the door and strode inside. He’d get this proposal business under control, just like he had everything else in his life under control. It’d be easy. And then he’d have it all — the perfect career, the perfect portfolio, the perfect woman — the perfect life.
He shifted uneasily. It was what he wanted. He’d have everything. At least something like what his friends had. What his sister had. To share your life with someone. So he was going about it using his head instead of relying on all that heart nonsense. It didn’t mean he was going to end up with anything less…though proposing to Laura had been a mistake.
Victoria and he were on the same wavelength, both looking at life realistically. And there was nothing wrong with it at all. Despite what his sister said. Justin sighed. Love wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be anyhow.
The sensor chimed the wedding march somewhere out back, and a small graying woman appeared at the receptionist desk. “Proposals or weddings?”
Justin swallowed hard, looking past the trestles, littered with albums, spread wide with lavish photos of weddings. He ignored the lurch deep in his gut. “I have an appointment to see the proposal planner.”
“Ah, so you’re the mystery man. Go right through.”
He followed the hallway to the open doorway.
A woman sat on a cream white lounge nestled to one side of the office. She was leaning over, reaching for something she must have dropped.
He wasn’t in the market anymore, but cripes…
Justin tilted his head. From this angle, the woman had quite a few things going for her. She was lithe and honey-blonde and her short gray skirt afforded him a fine view of her long creamy-smooth legs. The skirt also sat tight enough on her hips to feed his mind as to the curves that lay beneath the clothes.
She turned, and her green eyes met his with the force of a punch to the stomach. It had been years…but he could never forget. Her name burst from his lips. “Tessa.”
She stared up at him, as though she was finding it difficult just to breathe. “Justin.” She shook her head slowly.
The urge to turn on his heel and run was about as strong as his desire to sweep her into his arms and kiss away the years. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and steadied himself, willing his heart to slow. He was older now, much older. There was no way she was going to weave her spell over him now.
Justin had got over all that love stuff years ago. He wasn’t going to fall into it again. Sure, it had been incredible while it lasted, but it hurt like hell to leave it behind. Too much. He straightened. And he wasn’t about to go through that again.
He stared at his shoes. This was a surprise and a half…a chance meeting — he’d only have to keep it together for a few minutes, then he’d escape. No drama, he admonished himself.
“How are you, Tess?” he asked stiffly, scanning the room and wishing like crazy that the planner would turn up and end this nightmare. He didn’t want to be here with her. Okay, his body did, very much. But the rest of him would rather keep the past in the past.
She moved to the edge of her seat but didn’t get up. “I’m fine now. Thank you very much. What are you doing here?”
Her voice was still as whisper soft and gentle as he remembered, but her green eyes stabbed into his very soul… He tossed some words around in his head, but thought better of a clever answer. There was no denying why he was here and there was no reason at all to lie to her or himself. “I’m getting some advice on how to propose.”
She arched an eyebrow, shooting him a look of incredulity. “You’re proposing to someone?”
“Yes.” And for the life of him, he couldn’t work out why it didn’t feel better saying it. Victoria was his society queen, his logical match. They’d worked it out together — what they could give each other, how their life would be, where they'd be in five years, ten… So they didn't exactly love each other, so what? It didn’t mean it wouldn’t work. “To Victoria Feathersham.”
“Oh.”
“What do you mean oh?” he challenged. Victoria was a fine woman with a reputation and a social standing that no self-respecting businessman would scoff at. She was perfect, from her meticulously styled platinum blond hair to her manicured toenails.
“I mean —” Tessa shifted back on her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, which only served to accentuate her breasts “— I find it surprising that you’d be marrying at all.”
Justin let his gaze slide over her. She’d grown up, all right, in all the right places… “And are you married?”
She set her chin in a stubborn line. “I don’t see that’s any of your business.”
Justin’s blood heated, his mind fighting the idea that another man held her close at night. “Will you answer the damned question?”
She shrugged. “No.”
“No, you won’t answer my question or no, you’re not married?”
“Pick one.” She glared at him, raising her chin.
He looked toward the door again, rather than down into her eyes. It was too easy to lose himself in the way her eyes glimmered with yesterday’s promises. What was keeping the damned planner! “What are you doing here?”
She took a deep, slow breath. “Justin. Your appointment is with me. I am the proposal planner.”
What twist of fate had Justin Pearce walking back into her life? She always felt he would, dreamed he would, hoped that he would, so she could tell him exactly where to shove his charm and good looks.
Tessa had almost died on the spot when she saw him. Her heart was still pounding and her body shaking. She would have liked nothing better than to get to her feet and kick the guy out the door…and she would have, if her legs would have held her up.
She couldn't tear her eyes away from him. He was just as she remembered, as her tortured dreams reminded her often, although his tall frame had filled out — he wasn't the lanky boy that had swept her off her feet years ago. His Italian genes had really come to the fore, too, and he was oozing Mediterranean charm.
He stood frozen to the spot, staring at her as though he couldn't quite pull himself together. Which was strange in itself — Justin Pearce could always handle anything that came his way.
Tessa Knightly allowed herself a smile. She could almost feel sorry for Justin — almost. But after what he'd done to her… Her belly roiled and her blood fired at the memories. How dare he come anywhere near her after treating her like that!
She took a long slow breath, trying to focus. Be sensible. Justin wasn't coming back to tramp all over her heart again. He was here for business. Here to win over Victoria Feathersham with a captivating proposal of marriage. She swallowed the ache in her chest.
Justin successfully proposing to Victoria would be a feather in her cap. Her business would boom — if Justin shared her name with the men in the socialite circles that Victoria was sure to drag him into. She shook her head. Who was she kidding? He wasn't likely to bring up the fact he'd needed help to propose.
She'd just have to be happy with her fee. Tessa couldn't help but smile. A proposal to a woman like Victoria Feathersham was going to cost — he'd need all the trimmings to impress the likes of her. And there was nothing wrong with that at all — a girl deserved the most romantic, most memorable proposal for marriage, and she was all for giving her that. Besides, she could do with the cash flow to get her away from her sister's three children, two dogs, two cats and the spare room-slash-cupboard she was staying in and into a place of her own.
She shifted in her seat, vividly aware of the man in front of her. The taste of vindication would be sweet. After all the years of study she'd put in under her mother's cousin, a well-to-do wedding planner in America, she looked forward to using her skills to prove herself to the man who'd caused her to flee Sydney. If only she could just block out that this was Justin.
"You're the proposal planner?" Justin's dark eyes probed hers. "You're kidding, right?"
"Not kidding at all, but don't be frightened. I don't bite." Not yet, anyway.
He glanced toward the door.
She clenched her fisted hands by her sides. Damn it. There was nothing stopping him walking out the door, and there was no way she could let him, not when the woman he wanted to woo was Victoria Feathersham. It was just too good an opportunity to miss.
And besides, there were more subtle ways to avenge oneself. And she owed herself that, after the heartache and pain he'd put her through. She'd deserved a proper goodbye, an explanation, a real dumping — not the total void he'd left her with.
"I assure you whatever has happened in the past is in the past — business is business," she stated coolly. "If you want Miss Feathersham to have the most impressive, unforgettable proposal ever, you've come to the right place."
Justin looked back to her, his brow knotted. "I'm sure I can work this out on my own. I really don't need to —" his gaze roamed over her "— see you."
"Really? What did you have in mind?" she asked innocently. "Hopping down on one knee in an up-market French restaurant and popping the question?"
"Sounds good to me." And he smiled.
Her heart lurched. Her blood heated. And every nerve in her body yearned for what she'd once had with him. For his touch, for his kiss, for his love.
She ignored her traitorous body. "Then you'd be wrong. For a woman like Victoria you'd want to impress upon her how special she is, how much she means to you by how you propose." She leaned forward and plucked her contract from the file on the table, breathing deep and slow to dampen his effect on her.
"If she loved me, wouldn't whatever I do be okay?"
His voice slid over her like lotion and it was all she could do to remain cool, calm and composed. "If you loved her, you'd make it everything that she's dreamed it to be…everything Victoria dreams it to be."
She swallowed away the ache in the back of her throat and concentrated on filling out Justin's name on the form. She slid it toward him, holding out her pen, praying for him to sign it quickly, before she had a chance to ponder on the sanity of working with him.
He reduced the distance between them. "And you can make it that good?"
"Damn right I can," she said with all the enthusiasm she could muster.
He sat down in the chair beside hers and took the pen and his fingers brushed hers, sending a warming shiver racing through her body. Maybe, this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe she should refer him to someone else…maybe she had a tad too much baggage to cope with Justin on a one-on-one basis.
Tessa pulled her hand back and lay it on her lap, covering it with her other hand. She lifted her chin and met his deep, dark eyes. She wasn't going to blow this chance. No matter what her body remembered of his. This was her independence and her future on the line — she wasn't going to let a little thing like helping her first love propose to another woman stop her.
The pen hovered over the paper. "I'm a busy man. I really don't have time for this —" he waved a hand in the air "— stuff."
She held her hands together, tightly, blotting out the image of wrapping them around his neck. She straightened. "We can meet whenever is convenient for you," she said softly, clamping down on the urge to add a few colorful phrases. "Wherever is convenient for you."
Justin signed his name and looked her straight in the eyes. "That suits me fine. How about three p.m. tomorrow afternoon at my office?"
"Fine by me," she replied through gritted teeth. On his turf. She should have expected that. Damn, why hadn't she seen that coming? She'd be traipsing all over the city after him!
A cold knot formed in her belly as the implications of "his office" sank in. There was no way she wanted him to find out about the accident.
She'd won a point by signing him as a client, but was she going to survive the experience and keep the truth from him?
He had to be ill. Sick. Justin strode through the office and pushed open the door to the stairwell, ignoring the glances from his employees. He was certainly off his game. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on work all afternoon. And everyone knew it. His secretary had been so concerned she’d even asked him if he needed a doctor.
Justin wasn’t about to admit he’d gone to a proposal planner to train for popping the question or that he already knew the woman. That, in fact, the planner was the first girl to have stolen his heart, and some days he was sure she still had it.
He swiped his hand over his eyes, trying to work out exactly what he did have. Since seeing Tessa this morning his mind was filled with her. With her face, with her accusing eyes, with her full lips challenging him. And it wasn’t just his head that was hurting thinking about her; every inch of him ached.
He took the stairs rather than the elevator to the basement garage, focusing on taking the steps three at a time, on getting home, rather than on why in hell he’d canceled his dinner date with Victoria tonight. She was perfect for him. And Tessa… Tessa was screwing with his head like she had when they were young.
He’d never noticed that Tessa lived up the road from him until she’d hit fourteen. She’d watch him with her sea green eyes whenever she passed him on her bike, and he couldn’t deny he was as fascinated with her as she seemed to be with him.
When she was sixteen, he couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted to be with her and he swept her off her feet and into his arms. So, he was older than her by a few years. He knew that. And he was all for waiting. If only she’d been, too, he may have stood a chance…
He warmed at the memory.
So it had been love. He ran a hand through his hair. Love. He’d loved Tessa Knightly with all his heart and soul. And it had been good. Felt amazing. But then her mother had taken him aside, and he couldn’t fight the truth in her words. His father was a drunk. He had no goals. He wasn’t enough for her Tessa. Suddenly, it was over — painfully, torturously over.
Justin had thought he’d never see her again. Was sure she’d be married with kids. Thought it was all over. Until now.
Could he ignore the logic of marrying Victoria for the chance at having love, of having his heart involved, at the mercy of being torn to shreds again?
Maybe Victoria and he could learn to love each other….
Justin pushed open the door to the garage and strode to his silver Porsche. Maybe he was coming down with something… He was all twisted up in the head, all achy and unsettled.
He straightened. He’d handled million-dollar business deals; he could handle one woman. This was going to be a cinch. One lesson in proposals and he’d be done. Tessa Knightly would be out of his life, and he’d get on with it. Easy.
Justin pushed his papers around his desk and glanced at the clock again.
The knock startled him.
His secretary opened the door. “Tessa Knightly to see you, sir.”
Justin swallowed the lump in his throat. “Show her in.”
“She’s set herself up in the conference room.” His secretary stared at her feet. “She was quite insistent about it.”
“Was she now?” Justin should have guessed she’d avoid his private office and opt for somewhere else. And he couldn’t help but smile. At least he was getting to her…
Tessa sat at the conference table, folders spread out in front of her, her chin tilted high and her shoulders thrown back. She wore a cream trouser suit but it did little to hide her curves from his imagination.
“Mr. Pearce.”
“Miss Knightly.” He took a stab in the dark. He was painfully aware she hadn’t told him whether she was married or not. “You’re late.”
She arched her eyebrows. “Three minutes?”
“I’m a busy man.”
“And you were in your office…”
She was right. If he was able to, he could have continued working. “I don’t expect tardiness.”
“I’ll remember that.” She moved her handbag under the table and rearranged the folders in front of her.
Justin gave her a sidelong glance. She hadn’t missed a beat. He yanked out the chair next to her and faltered. He’d be a lot safer with the large timber table between them. “Well, let’s get to it then.”
“Fine by me.” Tessa offered him a smile. “Now, to begin with, I have to get an idea of what Victoria likes so we can make the experience memorable for her.”
“Makes sense.” Justin moved around the desk and sat down in one of the chairs opposite her, trying to keep his mind on Victoria and not on the way Tessa’s hands moved with such an easy grace.
Tessa slid the folders across the table to him. He flicked through the pages, trying to focus on the images, but he was acutely aware of her presence, her soft perfume, and of her eyes on him.
“Okay, Justin.” She stared him directly in the eye. “What are Victoria’s favorite flowers?”
He glanced at his watch. “Flowers? I give her roses — she doesn’t seem to mind them.”
“Okay.” She scribbled in her notepad. “What about her favorite music?”
Justin shrugged.
“Her favorite food?”
He strained for recollection of their last meal and what she’d ordered. “Chicken?” he suggested.
“You don’t sound so sure.” Her green eyes widened. “What about her hobbies?”
“Hobbies?” He swallowed hard and looked at his watch again. Not long now and it’ll all be over.
“You know, the things a person does for fun and personal satisfaction.”
He stiffened. What did Victoria do for fun? He had no idea! And admitting the fact to Tessa weighed like a brick in his chest.
“Look, the reason I need to know these things isn’t to make your life hard.” She paused.
It was as though she saw right through him. He shifted in his seat, folding his arms over his chest.
“It’s to discover whether she’s romantic or conservative or a bit of both so I can help you create a proposal that would mean the most to her.”
Justin was caught off guard by the sudden vibrancy of her voice and he met her eyes. Mistake. His heart thudded against his ribs, and his body stirred again to her magic.
She regarded him with an impassive coldness. “I suggest you go and find out a little more about the woman you want to marry.”
He glared at her. “I know plenty.”
“I don’t mean what underwear she wears,” she blurted out.
“Ha-ha,” he retorted sarcastically. “You ought to be careful, Tessa. It’s sounding as though you’re jealous.”
Her eyes darkened. “In your dreams.”
How spot on she was. Since meeting her again he couldn’t get any peace from her, even in sleep! “So, you can’t help me —” he chose his words carefully “— until I can answer your questions about Victoria?”
“That’s right. I suggest you spend some quality time with her.” Tessa bit her lip and looked as though she was stifling a smile.
The breath caught in his throat. She was screwing with his head! He stiffened, his blood firing, his teeth clenched tightly. He wanted to shake the woman. Or kiss her. He glanced at his watch. He only had to keep it together for a little while longer. “Then what?”
“Then, I’ll see you again. And hopefully we can come up with a heartrending proposal for her.” Her voice died away and she moistened her lips.“I have to see you again?”
“Is that a problem?”
Justin leaped out of his seat and started pacing the floor.
Tessa leaned back and waited. She was doing fine, on the surface; she was sure she was radiating a perfectly calm and controlled businesslike air, but on the inside… On the inside she was in turmoil.
It had been easier than she’d imagined setting up in his conference room making sure she was in place for Justin. The last thing she wanted was more complications.
Justin stopped and turned to her. "If I can tell you what you want to know, will I need another appointment?"
She stiffened. It was painfully obvious that Justin wasn't thrilled with the prospect of another meeting with her. "If you can tell me about the woman you want to marry," she offered calmly, "I can work out what sort of proposal will be the most moving for her."
"And if I do," he said carefully, "can we get it all done today?"
"We can try." She forced a smile of encouragement.
He lifted a finger. "Give me a minute." And he left the room.
Tessa sighed. What he was doing didn't leave much to the imagination after flunking all her questions. He was asking his secretary — the woman probably knew more about Victoria Feathersham than Justin did. She stiffened. She didn't care, she reminded herself sharply. If Victoria was who he wanted to marry, he deserved her.
This job may be tough on her sanity but if she could pull it off, it would give her a start in the business. She would just have to tough it out. And if Justin wanted to get this over in one session, she was all for it. The sooner she got away from his deep, dark eyes and tempting body the better!
Justin strode back into the room. "She loves white roses, caviar and her hobby —" he glanced at the notepad in his hand "— is organizing and attending charity balls."
"Okay, great." If that's what his secretary said, she would give him the most romantic, all the frills, minimal-contact proposal plan possible. She closed her eyes and imagined the woman. "Balls, gowns, Cinderella style," she murmured to herself, slowly opening her eyes.
Justin came toward her. She couldn't help but hold her breath. His presence was commanding and disturbing.
"I suggest you take her on a horse-and-buggy ride through a park, to a gazebo decked out in fairy lights with a small orchestra playing classical music amongst the trees…"
"I could have thought of that," he said.
"Yes, you could have, but you didn't."
“So, that’s it.” He clapped his hands together and rubbed his palms against the other, his eyes bright. “I don’t need you now.”
He wished! Tessa raised an eyebrow, smothering the smile that threatened her cool facade. “So you know exactly what to say to make the proposal perfect?”
Justin shrugged. “I figure I’ll just tell her how beautiful she is and ask her to marry me.”
“Well, that would be okay, but not memorable.” Tessa shifted in her seat. “Now, something like telling her that you’ll love her forever and that you can’t imagine a future without her would be a start.” Her blood burned. “But, oops… I remember now. You’re not good at following through on forever, are you?”
“Tessa.” Justin’s voice was dangerously soft. “It wasn’t like that.”
She crossed her arms. “Then tell me what it was like.” She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. She didn't want to rehash the pain of the past, why he’d packed up and left home, and her, without a word.
He dragged in a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Your mother pulled me aside to talk with me.”
Tessa stared at him, her mind whirling. She never knew that!
“She told me to back off. That you were too young.”
Her mother would. She’d been a teenage bride herself and a teenage mother — she could clearly see now how her mother must have felt seeing her out with an older boy, totally and utterly in love with the guy.
“And you did.” The words tumbled from her mouth. That he was so easily dissuaded from their relationship pained her. If he’d loved her, even a little, wouldn’t he have fought to be with her…or was she just a notch for his ego?
“I didn’t want to hurt your mother — or you.”
“And leaving me like that — you don’t think that hurt?”
Justin rubbed his neck muscles. “I couldn’t stay. Your mother was right. You needed time to grow up. So I went and did a business course in Queensland. Stayed at my uncle’s place. I came back, with an offer of a good position in a large Sydney firm, with a future, but you’d left for America. So I got on with my life.” He paused. “I figured your life would be easier without me.”
“Easier?” Tessa choked on the word. “My life hasn’t been easy.”
“Tell me about it.”
She couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him what had happened after he left — what had happened to her. She shook her head. “I got on with my own life.” She moved to the edge of her chair, suppressing the thousand wild emotions ravaging her body — he should have stayed…he would have if he’d loved her — fighting the urge to grab something and whack him with it. “Now, to business… Show me how you’re going to propose.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.” She waved her hand for him to proceed. If she was going to have half a chance at keeping her mind on the job, she’d have to get on with it.
He loosened his tie and dropped to his knee in front of Tessa, taking her hands in his. Sensation shot from where he held her, coursing down her spine and into every nerve in her body.
He gazed into her face, his eyes flickering.
Justin’s mind raced. Not with what he was going to say to Victoria, but with a thousand questions about why he’d want to.
Bolts of excitement raced through his body, the implication of kneeling there, in front of Tessa, drummed through him…with her soft green eyes on him, waiting.
“I… I want —” He swallowed hard and moistened his lips. He wanted Tessa. He didn’t want this mutual “arrangement” with Victoria. He was selling himself short, and so was she. Sure, it would have been safer. A whole lot safer than putting his heart out there again, but some things were worth the risk. It wasn’t Victoria he wanted to share his life with. It was Tessa. Only Tessa. Had only ever been Tessa. And he had to tell her. Show her.
Justin sucked in a deep breath. “I want you to know how my heart flutters every time you walk into the room. How I can’t think when you’re close. How you make me feel like I’m something special.”
Tessa’s eyes burned, and the ache in her throat threatened to suffocate her. It was as though he was proposing to her…something she’d once wanted, desperately.
“And I’d be the happiest man alive if you’d consent to be my wife.”
Her belly curled. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Justin pulled her down into his arms and his mouth covered hers hungrily. His cologne caressed her senses as his mouth moved over hers, devouring its softness.
Her thoughts spun. She should be fighting him off, resisting, but the warmth of his arms was so male, so strong and comforting, that all she wanted was to languish in this tantalising persuasion of her lips, forever.
His warm gentle mouth danced over hers, sending jolts of awareness racing through her, and her body sang his praises through her every nerve, each one tuned to the fire he was fanning in her. Tessa couldn’t help herself; she returned his kiss with reckless abandon, her mouth hot and welcoming, soft and sensuous…
“What the hell is going on?”
The shrill voice pierced through Tessa. She pushed herself away from Justin, her cheeks flooding with fire.
Victoria Feathersham stood in the doorway, her eyes wide and her mouth pulled thin.
Caught in a clinch on the floor with her client — Victoria’s boyfriend! Tessa swallowed hard. What could she possibly say?
Justin held Tessa’s shoulders. He wasn’t sure whether he was holding on to keep her steady or himself. That kiss! Her lips… God, he’d missed her. Missed feeling like this… Alive.
“You’re so perfect,” Justin whispered softly to Tessa. The urge to reach out and run his hand down her cheek, over her full lips and down her neck almost too much to bear. “You’re what I want…”
“Justin!” Victoria barked.
He twisted slowly around to face Victoria, his mind blank. Victoria. She stood, hands on hips in the doorway, her eyes blazing. Victoria — the woman he planned to marry.
Victoria was decked out in some designer outfit in soft blue, her hair immaculately styled, her presentation flawless. She would compliment his perfect life with her beauty and social position…
He clenched his jaw. The drive to attain perfection stemmed from Tessa, from years ago. Her mother had been right. She’d been too young and he hadn’t been good enough for her, but now, now there was hope…
And judging by her response in his arms there was a chance that he hadn’t lost Tessa when he’d run away from her years ago. That kiss would suggest so. That despite everything that had happened, they could have a second chance.
Justin dropped his hands from Tessa reluctantly and stood up, facing Victoria. She deserved an explanation; she deserved the truth… His gut roiled.
“I come down here, Justin —” her voice was shrill “— to find out why on earth you’d be calling me up and demanding to know all sorts of things about me…and what do I find? I find you in the arms of —”
“It’s not what it looks like, Miss Feathersham,” Tessa said, her cheeks flushed.
“Really,” Victoria snorted. “Then please explain what you were doing with your lips glued to Justin’s?”
Tessa opened her mouth, staring toward the ceiling, looking extremely uncomfortable kneeling there on the floor. Why didn’t she get up?
“Tessa Knightly, meet Victoria Feathersham,” he blurted. “Victoria, Tessa and I…”
Tessa stood up, grasping the edge of the table tightly as though the kiss had affected her legs. “We’re working on a special project together.”
Justin stiffened. Why not just tell the truth?
He met Tessa’s eyes. She was covering for him. Making it okay for him if he wanted to continue with Victoria.
Victoria crossed her arms over her impeccably tailored blouse. “And that involves kissing him?”
“Yes. No. Sort of,” Tessa stuttered. “He got carried away. That was all. He thought I was you.”
Justin stared at Tessa. Where was this coming from? She couldn’t really believe that he mistook her, even for a second, for Victoria Feathersham? The moment he started the proposal, his mind was filled with only Tessa, what they’d had and what he still felt.
Victoria raised her finely plucked eyebrows and looked down her nose at Justin. “And how would you make that mistake?” she drawled.
He hesitated. The idea of telling Victoria that he was planning to propose to her sat heavily in his chest. “My sister arranged for me to go to a —”
“A therapist,” Tessa blurted, dropping into her chair and interlacing her fingers on the table in front of her, exuding a calm that he wished he was feeling.
Justin stared at Tessa, speechless. How could she lie so easily and readily? Was lying a prerequisite of the job to keep the proposal a secret until the faithful moment?
“A therapist? And you’re it?” Victoria’s eyes darkened. “Then what were you doing kissing her?” she demanded of him.
Justin’s gaze rested on Tessa’s lips. Having the time of his life…reminding himself of what he was missing out on…what he’d left behind…what was within his grasp now…
“I was…doing regression therapy —” Tessa looked wildly around the room “— and Mr. Pearce saw me as all his past girlfriends that he’d left behind.”
His chest ached. He saw her as one in particular that he’d wished he’d never left behind at all.
“You said he thought I was you?” Victoria’s voice was high and laced with skepticism.
Tessa dragged in a deep breath, stacking her folders into a pile in front of her and lowering her eyes. “I was…representing the past and the future.” She lifted her chin and plunged on. “What you saw was Mr. Pearce embracing the future…his future with you.”
Victoria shot him a look of disbelief. “Justin?”
“Victoria,” he murmured softly. How was he going to break this to her? How could he have been so wrong? About them. About her. It was as though he’d suddenly woken up to what he’d left behind. And he wasn’t going to sit meekly by and marry “perfect” Victoria — he wanted more. And he was ready to take the risk.
Tessa shot him a glare. “I assure you that it meant nothing.”
“Nothing?” Justin turned and stared at Tessa, ice seeping into his body. “Nothing? Surely it had some significance?”
“Yes. Nothing.” She took a deep breath. “You’re free to marry Victoria.”
Justin didn’t want to believe it. Couldn’t believe that she could dismiss that kiss so easily. There was no way that a kiss that could rock his world wouldn’t even make a ripple on hers. “That’s your final word?”
Tessa glanced at Victoria. “In my professional opinion, Mr. Pearce, you are more than ready to focus entirely on the future you’ve chosen.”
He shuddered. He didn’t want to. He wanted Tessa in his future. He wanted her in every aspect of his life to make it worth living again.
Tessa restacked her folders and drew them close to her, the implications of her leaving slicing through him like ice-cold steel.
Justin ran a hand through his hair. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. Victoria still stood near the doorway, conspicuously silent as though she hadn’t quite decided if what Tessa had said was the truth or not. And Tessa was on the verge of flight.
Tessa’s eyes were hooded, not meeting his directly and Justin couldn’t shake the feeling that there was still a chance, despite what she was saying.
“Mr. Pearce —” Tessa glanced at her watch “— your time’s up. I have another appointment.”
Her coolness tore at his chest. “I don’t want to miss this chance,” he offered, a lightless future rolling out in front of him.
Tessa shook her head, her chin tilted high. “Let the past go, Mr. Pearce. You have a future waiting for you.” Her tone was firm, final, drained of all emotion.
His thoughts jarred, slicing deep. He’d just spilled his heart to her. Offered himself. He clenched his fists. Again, he’d been drawn in by her magic only to be cut off, not by her mother this time, but by Tessa herself.
“Justin?” Victoria moved forward, her voice wavering.
He focused only on Tessa, moving over to her where she still sat rigidly in her chair, his mind filled with tumbled thoughts, clambering emotions. He wanted her. Needed her. Surely that had to mean something to her. “I’m sorry for everything, Tessa. Please —” he knelt in front of her chair, his chest aching “— don’t go.”
“I thought as much,” Victoria snapped, darting forward. “As if a therapist would act like that.”
“Victoria.” Justin struggled to maintain an even, conciliatory tone. He stood up and turned to the woman who he’d deluded himself into thinking would be enough.
She slapped him across the face and strode out of the room.
There was no way she was going to risk her future on Justin Pearce’s brand of commitment. So what if he could kiss her so soundly and thoroughly that her knees gave out beneath her. Tessa knew it couldn’t last. She’d lived through the aftermath of Justin once already. She shook her head slowly. She wasn’t stupid enough to fall for him twice. Her traitorous body was just confusing her.
If only he’d played along with her story. The fool! So typical of a man to get carried away with one kiss…as if it meant something. From his response, he almost had her convinced he’d meant that proposal for her, not Victoria — as if that was likely! A product of her imagination, that was all.
Why couldn’t he have kept his mind on the job at hand? She needed Victoria Feathersham’s proposal to go off without a hitch and set her business going. She needed the money.
She stared at Justin. And he wanted perfection…. And he thought he could get it with her? That was almost laughable. It certainly showed how little he knew about her. She stiffened. He would never have her if he knew the truth.
“Now, look what you’ve done!” she spat out, narrowing her gaze and shooting him what she hoped was a fiery look.
“Pardon?”
“You’ve messed up your relationship with Victoria over a stupid kiss.” She glared at him. “And what did you think you were doing — calling her up and asking those questions? I assumed you’d asked your secretary!”
“I wanted to get this proposal thing over with, okay?”
“There’s no wonder she came charging down here!” Tessa turned and looked out the window, shaking her head. She couldn’t even look at the guy. He’d messed everything up — her well-ordered life and the most promising job she’d had to date.
“The kiss —”
“That kiss didn’t mean anything.” She hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt. Her body was still humming and the urge to fall into Justin’s arms again was almost too much to bear.
“You really mean that?” he asked thickly.
She could tell he didn’t believe her, and the gleam in his eyes and the way he was looking at her lips suggested he could be thinking of proving her words a lie. She wriggled back in the chair. “Yes. Of course I do. You were just projecting. It happens all the time,” she fabricated. “Go after her and make it right.”
Justin took her by the shoulders. He stared down into her face, his dark eyes probing hers. “Can you look me in the face and tell me that kiss meant nothing to you at all?”
“Of course it meant nothing.” She nearly choked on the words. “Don’t tell me you thought it did?” And she managed a light laugh.
Pain flickered in his eyes, and she almost regretted her words. She stiffened, reminding herself of his wrongs. Her mother may have warned him off but that didn’t mean he had to go! What sort of guy was he to run away at the slightest hint of trouble? And she was all for avenging the years of heartache he’d caused her…. She just thought it would feel better than this.
“You don’t feel anything for me?” His voice was thick.
“Nothing at all.” Tessa lifted her chin and held the folders tightly to her breasts, the lie twisting inside of her.
“I know I hurt you. And I’m sorry, but let’s not waste this. We’ve grown up now.”
She stiffened. She couldn’t do this. He wanted the perfect woman and she could never be that. “Don’t be a fool. There’s nothing between us.” She swallowed hard. “I…I don’t even like you.” She dragged in a deep breath. “Go after Victoria. You and she make the perfect couple.” The words tasted like bile, but she had to do it. For her business, for her sanity, for her heart that had barely survived the last time.
He hesitated only a moment, but the look in his eyes wrenched her heart. She saw the boy inside the man clearly, still as confused and lost as he ever was, hiding from emotions as his father had. Although his father had drowned his sensitivity in a bottle, while Justin — whom she followed in the social pages — chose the arms of pretty, shallow women.
Her mind jerked. She could see it clearly now. Justin hadn’t run away from her, but what she evoked. He could have been afraid that he’d turn out like his father, who’d been so stricken with grief at losing his wife he couldn’t cope. And her mother had only exacerbated the situation by drumming home how he shouldn’t be thinking seriously about making a commitment to her. And he wasn’t. Until now.
Tessa’s eyes burned with the irony.
Justin slammed the door after him, the crash echoing around the conference room like a resonating bell, ringing a death toll through Tessa’s heart.
What had she done?
She swallowed the tearing ache in the back of her throat. He’d catch up with Victoria, may even confess his hiring of a proposal planner to give her the best proposal ever. And she’d fall into his arms.
Tessa smothered a cry, clawing unbidden up her throat. She’d made the wrong choice. She knew it. Every inch of her body knew it. She’d been so hell-bent on convincing herself that Justin meant nothing to her that she’d ignored her heart.
She leaned heavily on her cane as she walked slowly to the door, her heart as heavy as her leg.
She pushed open the door and managed a smile. At least she still had her business.
Tessa wished she could take back time…and her words. She wasn’t a bitter woman. Even after the car had knocked her off her bike, she hadn’t been angry, just resigned. Like how she’d just cried about Justin leaving her years ago, avoiding confronting him, finding him.
She cast a long look down the corridor to the elevators. So much of her wanted to race to him and tell him what she really felt before he dropped to his knee and proposed to Victoria Feathersham. She hesitated. But if Justin was all for proposing, didn’t that mean he felt nothing for her?
She shook her head. She was confusing herself. All that mattered was that she still loved him, even after all these years.
But did she know this Justin? Was the older Justin who she wanted? Who she loved? She had no idea. All she knew was that she should give love one last chance. With him. But would he really want her?
Justin had seen the flames in Tessa’s eyes, felt the passion in her lips and her touch. He faltered, staring at the lift doors. She had to have lied. Said what she did out of revenge. And he’d deserved it. Deserved her hate, her spite and her harsh barbs. He’d wronged her. He’d left her. Without a word, he’d left her and hadn’t looked back, too scared of what he felt to face her.
Justin ran a hand through his hair and over his eyes, trying to blot out the past few minutes. What had happened to the innocent, easy as hell proposal planning?
He turned, looking back down the hallway to where the conference room was, to where she was. The pain threatened to tear him in half. He wanted her and she wanted nothing to do with him. He was an idiot. He should have known she’d still be smarting from his callous treatment of her years ago. He’d been young and stupid, not knowing what he had until she was gone.
Some days he’d seriously thought about following her to America. Other days, he was sure it was vital to get over her and get on with life. And he had. Focusing on university and shaping up had been a good thing for him. Striving to better himself had made him who he was today.
Tessa made him feel more than any woman ever had. And he wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing. He’d seen firsthand what had happened to his father….
His mobile shrilled its annoying melody. He had half a mind to ignore it. But whatever state he was in, work always was good to get his mind off things. And boy, did he need it this minute.
“Pearce here.” He was curt.
“Justin, it’s me, Janice. I just wanted to know how it went with that proposal planner.”
He couldn’t miss the lilt behind his sister’s words. “You knew. You damn well knew who she was and set me up!” He almost choked on the words. He’d been manipulated by his worst critic, and the realization seared his mind.
“I confess. How’d it go?” Janice said lightly. “Is she still as pretty as she was back then?”
Justin dragged in a deep, slow breath. The idea that his sister could have so blatantly set him up with his old girlfriend under the ruse of marrying his current one was disturbing. And the fact that he could be manipulated that easily, distressing.
“I knew you hadn’t gotten over her. She was so good for you. Is she single? Is she interested?”
“Your plan backfired, sister-dear. Tessa is as lovely as she ever was, but unfortunately, she hates my guts.”
“Well, that’s no surprise.” She gave a soft laugh as though it was the most normal thing in the world to set him up with someone who hated him. “I hope you didn’t take no for an answer!”
He ignored her, steeling himself for her lecture. She was two years older than he was and as far as she was concerned knew everything, about everything.
“Come on,” she urged. “Give me some juicy details.”
Justin stepped into a lift and punched the ground floor button. “So you never had any intention of me proposing to Victoria?”
“Come off it. She’s a stiff cardboard cutout. You need someone with a soul, with a heart. I figure I should be congratulated for my ingenuity. As soon as I heard Tessa Knightly was back from America…”
“Well, thanks for your nose in my business, but I’ll take it from here.” And he rang off.
Damn, he hated being predictable. He stepped out of the elevator and strode to his Porsche, squashing the feelings raging inside him.
He wasn’t going to be a pawn. He was going to have the perfect life…
Justin flicked on all the lights in his apartment and dropped onto the sofa. The extra light didn’t make any difference. It still felt cold and empty. What had Tessa done to him?
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. He couldn’t hide from it anymore. And couldn’t ignore the fire raging inside him for her — Tessa was his match, in every way.
So he was predictable. So his sister had set him up. None of it mattered. All that really mattered was making the past right for Tessa and making the future right for them both.
He’d accepted losing Tessa the last time round. He wasn’t going to do it again. This time, he was going to fight. He was going to make it right. Make her his.
Justin picked up his mobile. But first things first.
The doorbell finally chimed.
Justin straightened his shirt and smoothed down his trousers, throwing back his shoulders and striding to the door.
This was it. He yanked it open.
She walked in, dressed to perfection, her long lithe body clad in a clinging cream gown, her hair pinned up, pearl drops at her ears and a string of pearls at her throat. “So start explaining,” Victoria demanded smoothly.
Justin offered her a seat. “The woman in my office was a proposal planner. I’m sorry for the lie about her being a therapist, but I didn’t want to admit I needed professional assistance.” And there was no way he was going to admit how much he felt about her and hurt Victoria more.
“You’re getting help to propose?” she asked, her eyes wide and her voice tight. “To me?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I need to talk to you about us.”
Victoria swallowed hard. “Us?”
“Victoria, you’re a wonderful person but I can’t do this.” Justin paced the room, his body coiled tight. “I’m sorry. You’re perfect. You really are…but you deserve someone that’ll love you totally. And that’s not me.”
She touched her chest, letting out a heavy sigh. “Good. I am so glad you said that.”
Justin stiffened. “Pardon?”
She swished her hand through the air. “I’m dumping you. I’ve found someone else — someone special to share my life with —” she stood up and smoothed down her dress “— and I hope you do, too.”
He couldn’t help smiling, relief washing through him like spring rains.
Victoria sauntered to the door. “I hope you didn’t pay the woman too much for the proposal advice seeing as you won’t be needing it for a while.”
Justin shrugged.
“Hang on,” Victoria cooed, swinging the door wide. “It’s that woman. That proposal woman, isn’t it?”
He couldn’t deny it. The thought of Tessa thrummed through his body. Victoria may have been a catch, but there was no doubt in his mind now. Tessa was perfect, more perfect than he could have imagined…
“Hey.” Justin strode to the door, catching Victoria on the landing. “If you didn’t really care, then why did you slap me?”
Victoria shook her head. “I don’t appreciate being told lies. I would have preferred the truth, straight up.”
“I’m sorry. I was trying to tell you the truth but Tessa —”
“— is in denial,” Victoria finished for him. The elevator dinged its arrival. “Goodbye, Justin, and good luck.”
“You too,” Justin offered, his heart light and his mind buzzing. Now all he had to do was win Tessa’s heart….
Justin pushed open the door to Tessa’s offices, his blood pounding in his veins, his chest full, and his mind tense in anticipation of the challenge that lay ahead of him. He had to get this right this time.
The receptionist stood beside her desk, buttoning her cardigan. “I’m sorry, we’re closed.”
“Where is she?” he demanded. He didn’t care that it was after six, as long as Tessa was still there.
The woman picked up her purse. “She’s getting a cup of coffee.”
Justin strode down the hallway.
Tessa stood behind the counter of the kitchenette, tipping hot water into a cup. A lock of her blond hair fell around her face, her focus on what she was doing.
“Tessa.” He whispered her name, his throat tight.
She jerked her gaze to meet his. “Justin.”
Their eyes met and held. A spark of hope warmed him.
Tessa clunked the kettle down on the counter and grabbed a tea towel, sponging up the spilt liquid from around her cup. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.”
She straightened. “Did you muck up the proposal?”
He could have been affronted that she’d assumed the worst. That after her help in proposal planning, after she’d shunned him, that he would have reverted to his original plan.
“Totally wrecked it.” And he had. Just not in the way she thought.
Tessa gripped the tea towel tightly. “Tell me what you said, and I’ll see if I can help you remedy the situation.”
He moved over to the bench. “You’re so damned dedicated.”
She managed a smile. “That’s my job. So what did you say?”
“I surprised her.” He moved closer, praying that there was still a chance for them. “Thought I’d chicken out?”
“No, of course not.” She met his gaze. “Well, yes. I was sure you would.”
Like he had when they were young. He’d been afraid to get serious, afraid to lose himself in love. “You think I’m not into commitment?”
“I think you’re scared of loving someone like your father loved your mother.” Tessa tucked the stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Because when she died your father couldn’t cope without her.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets, braving the urge to run from someone who could see him clearly for who he was. “You’re probably right. But I’m here to remedy the situation.”
“To get help to propose properly to Victoria?” Tessa shook her head. “Because if it’s anything else — I’m not a therapist. That was a lie for Victoria’s benefit.”
“And how much lying have you been doing, Miss Knightly?” The urge to drag her into his arms and kiss away all her doubts was excruciating, but he held his ground.
She wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Enough to get by.”
“I think I’m not the only one that’s been hiding from my true feelings,” he accused.
“I don’t know what you mean.” She threw the cloth into the sink.
He stopped at the bench. “I’ve been lost, searching for the perfect partner to share my life with… And then I found you.”
“Me? Your perfect partner?” Tessa laughed, but her eyes were cold and flat as though she was a million miles away, or wished she was.
“Yes, you’re perfect,” he murmured. “From the top of your glorious blond hair to the tips of your toes — perfect.”
A shadow flickered in her eyes. “And that’s what you’re after. Perfection?”
“You’re beautiful, Tessa. Everything a man could want. I want. Perfect.” He could finally see that his life would mean more than a bank balance and a tally of empty years. And he was ready to stop teasing her and to come clean. “I didn’t propose to Victoria. We broke up. I want to give us a chance.”
Her face darkened. “Get out.”
Justin swallowed hard. “Pardon?”
“You’ve got the wrong girl.” She waved him off. “The wrong idea. Please go.”
He hesitated, his mind tumbling in confusion.
She gripped the bench tightly with one hand. “I’m sorry about the kiss. It was a mistake. I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. I hate you.”
Justin hesitated for only a second, the impact of her words slicing through him. How could he have been so wrong? So stupid? She hadn’t been in denial, she’d been honest!
He strode out the door.
Tessa hobbled to the passageway, leaning heavily on her cane for support and not just because her leg was sore but because her legs were like jelly.
Tears burned her eyes. He had no idea about her accident… but he wanted perfection and there was no way she could offer him that.
Tessa’s stomach curled. She’d hurt him. And the knowledge clawed at her, but telling him the truth wouldn’t have helped. She didn’t want his pity.
She waited for the sound of the shop door. Nothing.
Tessa stumbled into her office, her heart pounding. What was he doing? She lurched to her sofa and collapsed onto it, kicking her cane underneath.
“I need you to open the door.” Justin stood in the doorway.
“Why’s that?” she managed calmly.
“Because the door is locked.”
“My receptionist always locks up after herself. I usually work late. I don’t want just anyone walking in late at night.” Tessa bit her lip. She was babbling. “Well…” The office keys were in her handbag in her desk. “You can get the keys yourself.”
Justin crossed his arms over his chest. “And why is that?”
“Because I’m not going to go to any effort for you,” she said as calmly as she could.
He reduced the distance between them and held out his hand to her. “Let me help you up, then.”
“They’re in the bottom drawer on the right.” Her throat ached and her eyes burned. Why couldn’t her secretary have just left the door open?
Justin shoved his hands in his pockets and stared down at her. “I get the impression that something else is going on here.”
Tessa tried to laugh, but the sound clogged in her throat.
“So what is it? Another lover? A hidden agenda? A secret baby?”
Tessa almost choked. “You’re crazy. Please just get the keys and go.”
“Fine. Goodbye then, Miss Knightly.” He held out his hand, offering her a cordial handshake.
She took it. One last goodbye. She could let herself have that, could savor his touch one last time.
Justin straightened, pulling her with him, stepping back and yanking her to her feet. “You can show me out.”
Tessa staggered.
“What in —?” Concern blazed in his eyes.
Tessa hung on to him for balance. Damn stupid leg. Darn her secretary for locking the door!
Justin wrapped her in the comfort of his arms, drawing her close. “What’s going on, Tessa?”
She sighed, looking up into his rich dark eyes. “I was knocked off my bike by a car a while back and now my leg isn’t as reliable as it used to be. That’s all. No big deal. It doesn’t make any difference.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me? Show me?” His voice thick, his brow furrowed.
Tessa sucked in a slow, deep breath. “I wanted you to remember me the way I was,” she whispered, staring at the floor.
Justin tilted her chin up. “I want to keep you just the way you are.”
Tessa’s eyes burned, and a wave of warmth washed through her. She couldn’t believe it. “I’m not perfect,” she said carefully.
“You’ve always been, and always will be, perfect to me.” He ran his hand around the curve of her neck, his thumb stroking her cheek. “The problem as far as I see it is that you don’t love me.”
She managed a smile, her chest filled with love. “So I lied.”
“You do love me?” he asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Always.”
And Justin claimed her lips, wrapping her in his warm arms, kissing away the years of pain, of separation.
Tessa held him tightly. She knew there were no guarantees that they’d have the perfect life, but she knew that they had something worth far more. They had love, and deep down inside, she knew they’d always have each other.
The End