Bucket of Gross


Little Johnny steps into the cafeteria carrying his food inside of his flesh instead of a lunch box, inside of a meaty cabinet between his intestines and liver. He insists it is too babyish to carry lunch in boxes or bags, and nobody eats the hot lunch anymore, not since they started serving B-quality vegan food. 

Johnny sits next to Susy, because she is the cutest girl in the fifth grade, and everyone thinks so. And the cutest boy in school sits across the table – the table being made out of a collection of sand castles and sand pails. 

The boy’s name is Toby and he has a bicycle with five wheels on it – that’s three more than anyone else! Toby calls it a quincycle and he carries his lunch inside of the spokes instead of a lunch box. But he is not as unique as Susy, who carries her lunch inside of her privates.

She smiles at Johnny when he unzips his belly and pulls out a blood-smeared tuna fish sandwich and he smiles at Susy when she twitches a granola bar from her strawberry panties. 

Toby eats butterscotch pudding and flicks a spoonful at kids from the next table who eat out of lunch boxes the size of milk crates. 

Little Johnny thinks Susy is cute and Susy likes Johnny too. Toby likes Johnny, but Johnny thinks Toby likes Susy, but Toby thinks Susy is gross. Toby thinks all girls are gross. 

When Johnny is done with his tuna sandwich, he reaches inside of his torso and digs for potato salad and a toffee bar, but he cannot find either one – the food items are hiding behind his skinny back ribs. 

Susy finishes her granola bar and wants something more to eat -- her lunch container is too compact to hold a full meal. Her grey-brown eyes glaze Johnny, begging for nourishment.

Little Johnny becomes nervous under the pressure of her glazing eyes and digs furiously into the wet meaties, mixing things up, looking for the potato salad. 

When Johnny’s hand finally comes in contact with the potato-creamy container, he jerks it out of him and holds it up to Susy. Unfortunately, Johnny has pulled out an intestine tube with the potato salad. And when Susy sees its slime texture, she tosses the potato salad aside and takes a bite. 

Johnny is very flattered and offers Susy some more intestine. It isn’t every day that the coolest girl in school wants to eat part of you. She slowly pulls the intestine out of him, hand over hand, swallowing the meat rope as she goes. And little Johnny begins to feel faint, smiling.

Susy soon finds the intestines lacking the robust flavor she craves and drives her hand into Johnny to find something of her liking.

Johnny feels a tingling sensation in his private area as the prettiest girl in school fondles his insides, and Toby watches with disgust from behind a sand castle.

And when Susy finds Johnny’s heart, she can feel it beating furious inside of her hand. Susy’s grey-brown eyes glaze Johnny again, begging for nourishment.

Once Johnny nods hesitatingly, Susy pulls a fist of meat from his torso – still pounding violently in the air.

Johnny smiles when she wraps her pink-painted lips around his heart and bites into it, splashing blood all over Susy’s dress, all over the sand castle table, all over Toby and his quincycle. 

The little girl devours the organ as furious as it is beating, chewing the stubborn muscle, licking the blood, spurting growl-noises between bites.

And little Johnny claps his hands once she finishes, witnessing his own heart beating underneath her flowery dress, within her stomach – her belly pulsing with his rhythm.

Johnny can tell Susy likes him for sure now, especially when she kisses him and hugs him and dumps all of his innards onto the table to take home with her – the gore painting the sand castles and filling the sand buckets.

When Susy zips Johnny’s torso back up, Johnny realizes he doesn’t feel too good anymore, but he smiles merrily at Susy anyway.

Toby becomes jealous and attempts to steal Johnny’s organs by collecting them into a bucket. Susy screams at him and tries to get her food back, but Toby takes the bucket of meat and rides away on the quincycle. Susy knows she can’t follow Toby, because he is too fast. A quincycle is even faster than a bicycle because it has more wheels. And Susy runs to tell Teacher.

Little Johnny sits alone and hollow at the sand castle table . . . his belly deflated and wrinkly. But Johnny still has a smile on his face, because he is Susy’s new boyfriend. That makes him the coolest boy in school.