THE DAYAFTER TOMORROW
by
Sharleen Cooper Cohen


`;07/' 
Also by Sharleen Cooper Cohen Lives of Value The Ladies of Beverly Hills
Love, Sex  Money Marital Affairs Regina's Song The Day After Tomorrow
Sharleen Cooper Cohen KNIGHT 
right of Sharleen Cooper Cohen to be identified as the Author of the
Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs
and Patents Act 1988. The rights to the Knight chess piece reproduced on
this book are the property of Hodder and Stoughton Limited and it is
reproduced with their permission First published in Great Britain in
1979 by NEL Books First published in hardback in 1993 by HEADLINE BOOK
PUBLISHING PLC Reprinted in this edition in 1993 by HEADLINE BOOK
PUBLISHING PLC This edition published 1997 by Knight an imprint of
Brockhampton Press 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 All rights reserved. No part of
this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted, in any form, or by any means without the prior written
permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of
binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a
similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. All
characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to
real persons, living or dead,, is purely coincidental. ISBN: 1-86019 6233
Typeset by Keyboard Services, Luton Printed and bound in Greg Britain by
Mackays of Chatham PLc, Chatham, Kent Brockhampton Press 20 Bloomsbury
Street London WCIB 3QA To Jackie Farber ... And all my loved ones@,
especially Marty, Cami and Dalisa. And to Gary ... Chapter 1 Anne
hurried out of the parking lot squinting her eyes against the glare, and
headed across Fountain Avenue only steps ahead of the oncoming traffic.
The ancient hospital loomed before her, its hideous bridge connecting
the original building to the more modern maternity wing. She detested
coming here, even for a routine check-up. Shivers of nervousness ran
through her as she entered the main lobby and made her way past the
cafeteria and up the ramp to the bridge, and then the medicinal smell
assailed her, triggering an immediate fear. For Anne, that smell would
always mean pain and blood and tragedy, disinfectitnt to purify the most
horrible experiences. The only good thing about coming here at all was
that she could surprise Jeff and ask him. to have lunch with her. IT
call and make a reservation at St Michel, she thought, Jeff and I
haven't been there in ages. . IShe pushed the elevator button, hoping
that for once Dr Kelsey would be on time. But she knew he wouldn't be.
She always had to wait for 'Big Deal KelsW, the head of OG/GYN. He
allowed her the privilege of being his patient, but he really did it as
a favour to Jeff. She remembered Kelsey, standing with Jeff at the foot
of her bed after her miscarriage, while the memory of their tiny son
born dead in the front seat of the car was still.painfully new. The two
of them consulted about her impersonally and it had bothered her that
even her own husband was so clinical. They'd patted her on her empty
womb and said,Buck up, girl, be brave, better luck next time.'Jill's
casual get-well note ha 'd really hurt her, too. How could so close a
friend be so stupidly unfeeling? Yet Jill's word echoed everyone's
sentiments: What's a miscarriage? Why expect sympathy from Jill? She
never could understand why anyone wanted children anyway. Jill, with her
size five clothes from Theodore, her gold jewellery from Gucci, and her
flair for the dramatic; she used her insensitivity to insure her
success. Anne realized she was being disloyal, and a rush of guilt
increased the hunch of her shoulders. Dr Kelsey's office was jammed as
usual so she sat in the hall to wait. After a while, his nurse, Laura,
stuck her head out of the exam room. 'Hello, Anne. You can put on a gown
now, he'll be with you in a few minutes.' As an afterthought she added,
'How are you feeline. You do look better than the last time I saw you:
They had known each other in high school, but Laura had never paid much
attention to Anne. And she still wouldn't, Anne thought, if I hadn't
married Jeffrey Scott, the best-looking boy ever to graduate from John
Burrows High. It must have amazed her, plain me catching the Big Man on
Campus. 'Oh, I'm fine, now, Laura,' she answered. 'More like myself
every day.' 'That's good!' Laura pronounced, the expert on miscarriages.
Why did I say that, Anne wondered when Laura had gone. I'm not more like
myself I should have told her the truth, that I ache inside for my dead
child. And he is a dead child, not just a foetus like Jeffrey says. A
chilling sadness gripped her. I will never have this child! This Brian
Scott will never exist, never, never, never! She pictured her dead son,
a small version of Jeffrey, taking his first steps, touching her hair
with tiny fingers. She could almost feel the incredible softness of his
skin. Oh, Brian! I loved you. The dressing-room bench was piled high
with some- one else's clothes. She pushed them aside and sat down,
holding the gown together underneath her. Hospital gowns were demeaning.
They exposed you no matter how you put them on. She sighed, wishing
Kelsey would hurry up. This was Jeffrey's morning at the clinic. If he
were free for lunch today, she could justify taking the afternoon off
from work. 'We're ready for you, Anne,'Laura called. Dr Kelsey was
writing at his desk with his back to her. She got up on the table and
scooted down as Laura guided her. The table was still warm fi-om the
last patient. She put her feet up in the stirrups, and felt a twinge in
her back. She never knew what to do with her knees, keep them open or
closed. The concavity of her -stomach was accented by the position of
her feet as Laura dropped a sheet unveremoniously over her knees. Her
old doctor used to ,Maintain courtesy with this ritual. Modesty was
Important to him. He'd cover her completely, first swathing her legs in
side sheets, and exposing only the ,necessary areas as he examined them.
One breast at a time, then her stomach, fleshy gap between separated
JOkeets and then the internal, with the top sheet folded as to hide him
from her view as if he were taking an ashioned photograph. Dr Kelsey had
no such ritual. There she was, all laid out, two peaks and a hollow, an
brifice waiting for scrutiny. Kelsey swung around on his little stool,
and nodded in her direction. 'Morning,' he said, as he reached for a
speculum. He peered inside her and she visualized her cervix, newly
scraped, doorwayto her empty womb. Do all cervixes look alike? She held
her breath and beads of sweat dotted her upper lip. Someone opened the
door and stuck his head in for a moment and she almost clamped her knees
together, catching Dr Kelsey between her legs. It took all her control
to keep from screaming, 'Get out of here Why didn't they put locks on
hospital doors? 'Everything's just fine,' Kelsey said cheerfully,
removing the speculum with a practised twist. She exhaled. He never
enquired how she was feeling, but he was the one who had helped her
through her recent crisis, not her old doctor. Laura helped her to sit
up and face Kelsey. How could he ever make love to a woman after seeing
this view of them day after day? He noticed her expression and winked at
her. She felt her face burn with colour. 'See you in six months,
Anne.'He smiled coolly. 'Are you going to get pregnant again?Laura
asked. 'Well, it depends on Jeffrey. Would it be all right She was
avoiding Kelsey's eyes, enjoying her embarrassment. Kelsey shrugged. 'No
reason not to. You're in good health. Just wait a few more weeks for
your body to resume its normal cycle and maybe next visit you'll come in
for a urine test.' He patted her knee patronizingly for someone who was
only thirty-eight. She climbed down off the table and clutched at the
back of her gown, feeling falsely modest. The whole room reeked of
intimate misery. Images of women lined the walls. The ghostly faces of
those who received life and death news in this ancient office stared at
her, while Dr Kelsey's irreverence diminished them all. She forced a
smile. Thank you, Dr Kelsey.' She was glad to be through; she really
couldn't bear this place. If Jeff would agree to try again, she'd find
another doctor. This first pregnancy had been her doing entirely, but
after ten years of marriage she couldn't wait any longer and had
'forgotten! to take her pills. As they wheeled her into surgery she'd
had a fleeting thought that losing the baby was her punishment for
trickingJeff. She dressed quickly. There was a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on
Jeffs door, which meant he was with a patient, so she sat in the ,small
waiting-room across the hall. She loved to see his name on the door,
'Jeffrey Scott, MD'. His degree had been a struggle for both of them.
He'd had such a tough time getting into medical school and an even
tougher time staying in, and she had tutored him through it all - ,high
school, college, medical school. Sometimes she felt ,it was a miracle
that he'd made it. She glanced at her watch. It was 12.45. She walked
over to the door, thinking she'd knock  perhaps Jeffs nurse would come
out and tell him  that she was here. Odd sounds were coming from his
office.  Laughing, giggling, sighing sounds. The exam table shifted. She
looked around to see if anyone else could ,,,hear it, but no one else
was paying attention. She stood there, unable to leave and afraid to
knock, indignant that someone else was surely using Jeffrey's office.
Then she heard,'Oh, Jeff, yes, yes, oh, Jeff!' Without thinking, she
threw open the door. There were two bodies on the exam table. The woman
had her feet in the stirrups and Jeffreys beautiful head was between her
legs. He heard the door open and 'looked up, revealing a clear view of
an exposed vagina.

Anne stood there, white-faced and wide-eyed, while a picture of herself
in the same position -only moments before flashed in her brain. Only it
wasn't the same. Jeff was on his hands and knees straddling the woman
whose mouth was on Ins penis, and she was unaware of the interruption.
But Jeffrey just squatted there letting her continue! He stared back at
Anne with defrance and clenched his jaw as the tension mounted in his
pelvis. She wanted to scream, 'Stop it, stop iV But she couldn't utter a
sound. The woman stroked his buttocks and his stomach until at last he
came. But he never took his eyes from Anne's face. He hates me! she saw.
Carefully he extracted himself from the mouth that engulfed lum and
ducked his head under his arm to look behind him at the girl. 'Baby,
that was brilliant.' 'Yes, it was, wasn't itT she said. Her view of the
door was blocked by his body. 'We've got company,'he said. The girrs
head shot up and an electrifying shock went through Anne as she
recognized her friend Jill. All of her strength deserted her as she
recoiled from that jolt. 'Oh God,'Jill said.How do we get out of this
oneT Suddenly, like an Arctic plunge, the electricity was shut off and
Anne backed out of the room. She slammed the door but the awful vision
wouldn't disappear. It repeated itself in a stroboscopic horror,
flashing over an dover, burning, etching, searing her. She turned and
ran, sour bile choking her throat. Somehow her legs kept moving, somehow
her lungs filled with air, somehow her heart kept beating. But she would
have stopped them all, if only to destroy that image. Anything to stop
that picture! hed her car all the hurt and miserrryyy When she reac
broke and she sobbed with amazement at her wound, wrenching, gasping,
tearing sobs. 'Oh God, oh God, ohGodohGodohGod!' Her friend and her
husband. The oldest story in the book. She was torn with pain and
disgust. Her trust, her faith, her work, he'd treated it all as if it
were nothing. Jeff, whom she'd loved and cared for all these years -
Jeff whom she had seen just now with a lookof such hatred on his face. A
feeling of desolation swept over her. For ten years she had devoted
herself to him, directed her whole life towards developing his career.
And now, for what? Anne heard the key in the lock and felt as if
the.door was opening directly inside of her. The apartment was dim, she
hadn't turned on any lights. Jeff crossed to a chair and sat down
opposite her, not bothering to take off his jacket. He was wearing the
camel one with a lambskin lining she'd bought him last Christmas. It
made him look like an ad for men's toiletries. .'Well,'he said,'are you
going to sit there staring at me all nightT She felt the defrance and
caught her breath, notidng the way his dark hair waved in that special
place on his forehead, the angle of his chin with the cleft in it, his
,-sculptured nose. But he was a stranger, this man, this ,husband, whom
she thought she knew. She couldn't speak. His voice had stopped her. It
was full of anger. He was angry with her! How could that be? Where was
his apology? 'How long has it been going onT 'Does it matterT 'Yes, it
matters. Was  'it while I was pregnantT Her words came out slow and
disconnected, air gulped between the syllables. 'Before.' 'When I was in
the hospital, after the miscarriage, you were screwing Jill Marks.' 'R
had nothing to do with your pregnancy.' 'It was our baby, Jeff. Not just
my pregnancy. Would you have felt differently if the baby had lived?'The
pain was so strong she couldn't stand it. Please, she begged, please,
God. He shook his head.'No.' 'Why didn't you tell meT 'Well, you know
now. Does it heIV.' 'Jeff, I love you.'She sobbed.'What have I done?
What did you wantT 'Don't, Anne, it only makes things worse.' She
clutched at her stomach. 'What could be worse than this? I just lost my
child and now you. How can you do this to meT 'Here we go again. Let's
hear it for the little martyr.' She was stunned again, cut. 'Is there no
end to your cruelty9' She was still sobbing, her face sticky with mucus
and misery.'Why, Jeff? Tell me whyT 'Because I never got what I needed
from you.' She was incredulous.'You never got my help, my love, any of
the things I didjust for youT 'I never got what I needed.' That was
impossible!'But I have no more to give.'Her breath came in tiny pants,
little gulps before the next blow. 'Jesus, you're something! Holier than
thou, aren't you? Never make a mistake, never slip for one minute.' 'Is
that what you call it, a slipT She had more control now. The first acid
wash had slowed to a dull torture. 'I guess I really don't know m;hat it
was!' 'Am I supposed to accept that? I'm supposed to watch lif
disintegrate before me and you tell me you don't know whyT 'How the hell
do you expect me to know? Go talk to a shrink, ask your mother, look in
the mirror.'He stopped himself. This isn't going to get us anywhere. Do
you want me to leave? I'll leave. Just say so.' A scream of protest
welled up inside her, pulsing in her throat, pounding at the roof of her
mouth, trying to epeape. eave, he said leave, he's going to leave. No,
he can't. He can't leave, he can't do it. No, no, NO. She saw herself at
this moment as he saw her. Her gums too visible, her hips too wide, her
eyes too round, her breasts too small, her looks too plain, her bearing
too dull for mercurial Jeff Scott, and now her face streaked with team
and newfound terrors. She looked at him, her stranger, and ached for the
past. Had it ever been? She would doubt it for ever. How fast it was
used up. She stood up, a zombie in a plaid coat. Outside, not, even the
chill of the November night penetrated. Somewhere it registered cold,
winter, frosty ."breath, windy sparkling skies, billows of clouds, and
in between black velvet, purple and silver. But she didn't feel it. Down
the catwalk past the Goldbergs', down the to the garage. She got into
the car, stunned, keeping a tight lid on the well of hatred that boded
Uderneath, feeling it ignite and revving like the motor she turned the
key. She drove down the alley,wanting to smash the car into a tree
because she saw 41', "if it je rey's face in front of her.- e      she
had just been with was not her husband. it wasn't Jeff. He didn't mean
the things he'd said.      he want her back. Sooner or later. He'd come
to his senses. And she'd wait it out. Until he realized how much he
needed her! Chapter 2 Elena jammed her passport and her ticket into the
side pocket of her Fendi purse and buzzed for Pietro. 'S! signora.'He
was unfailingly prompt. 11 will'be gone only one or two nights, Pietro,
and I do not want you to inforin the Count or my son where I am, but I
will be at the Mel de Saumur.' He didn't show any reaction, but their
eyes met. He knows, she thought. He's the one who empties my trash
basket. Involuntarily she glanced at it, lucite and chrome, sparklingly
clean at the moment except for the one tissue she'd just deposited and
some strands of her blonde hair. Her hands were beginning to shake as
she pulled on her gloves. She detested flying, but these regular trips
to Paris were unavoidable. 'I'm booked on the ten o'clock, so we'd
better leave now. Tell Guilhaume I'd like you to drive me. I know he
gets fussy when you drive the car, but the fewer people who know where
I've gone the better. Count Bris-son was supposed to phone this morning.
He probably couldn't get a line out of Porto Ercole, nothing works at
this time of year. Ah, the civilization of the French is far superior to
ours, nest-ce pasT She paused. 'If my husband should call tell him I'm
out shopping or tell him anything at all.' She hadn't spoken to Paolo in
weeks, but she wouldn't delay her departure to wait for his call. I must
stop calling him my husband, she thought. Pietro picked up her suitcase
and followed her down the staircase. She caught a glimpse of herself in
the Venetian mirror on the landing, the narrow frame in the
well-tailored suit, with the Russian lynx coat over her arm. Today she
did not look her age. The flight to Paris was crowded; even the
first-class section was full. Elena hid behind her dark glasses and said
no to the liquor and the vile-tasting wine. She could just imagine what
they drank in the economy section, eau de toilette, no doubt, only not
the bottled kind. She thought of Gino and that damned apartment. How
perverse of him to force her to meet him there, when he knew how much
she hated it. And she hated Paris in the winter too. That bastard Gino
didn't trust her any more. Well, she didn't trust him either, but God,
how she needed him. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. A man behind
her was smoking, and the smoke annoyed her. Every now and then the plane
would hit some turbulence and the jolt caused her heart to skip a beat.
But she was still all right - for now. She squeezed her ankles together,
holding her purse firmly between her feet. Her peace of mind was in that
exquisitely styled bag. Thank God, there was no purse check on domestic
ffights; it was one of the reasonsshe lived in France most of the year.
The baggage-claim area at Orly was overcrowded and all of Paris was
covered with grey clouds. It hardly made her feel gay. But Madame Pene
was happy to see her. 'Welcome Contessa. Brisson. You are a little
early. Check-in time is one o'clock. Would you care to have an aperitif
in the lounge while we make up your room? The other occupants have
already checked out.' 12 I'll leave my luggage here and do, 'Nol thank
you' some errands. I'm due at Van Cleef  Arpels this afternoon. Would
you call me a taxiT Madame Pene nodded.'Right away, Contessa.' Her tone
grated on Elena. She paced the small marble lobby until the taxi
arrived. ,. As the taxi turned into the Rue de Rivoli, Elena noticed an
abundance of police cars. There were even more parked in the Place
Venddme. 'What is itT she asked the driver. 'The Bank of Libya was
bombed this morning, madame. IShe glanced around the square. Half of the
buildings had lost their windows from the ground up. Gaping holes stared
back at her from the beautiful baroque 'structures. Proprietors of
exclusive boutiques swept the streets in fi-ont of their shops, workmen
placed large sheets of plywood over glassless fi-onts, covering the "tly
merchandise from view. The taxi driver shrugged philosophically.
'Yesterday it was a busload of Spanish tourists killed on the way to
,,Versailles. The world is full of the crazy people.' . Andrd opened the
electric gate at Van Cleefs for her and she stepped inside. After all
the commotion, the quiet luxury of the shop immediately soothed her.
Andre wore his usual finely tailored grey suit, but his broad face
expressed the concern he felt. 'Excuse the confusion, Contessa Brisson.'
In spite of everything, his manner was charming as always. 'You look as.
lovely today as ever. You have heard of the bombing, of courseT 'Oui,
Andrd. Have you had much daniageT 'Only a bit of broken glass in the
upper offices. But the other buildings were much harder hit. Some of the
glass in those windows was three hundred years old. It is 13
irreplaceable.' He shook his head. 'I do not like all this fuss. It
brings an undesirable element within our midst.' Elena's attention was
caught by the diamonds and rubies that sparkled from small glass windows
in the upholstered walls. Vibrant silks and velvets to enhance the
beauty of their treasures. But the finely designed cases of glass and
chrome on the floor were conspicuously empty today. 'We removed most of
the jewellery to the safe tins morning,' Andrd explained. 'With
everything that is going on -2 he indicated the workmen outside - 'we
wanted to be secure.' For a brief moment she realized how vulnerable one
might feel working in an establishment with such priceless stock. 'If
you will be seated a moment, Contessa, I shall bring you your pendant.'
She perched on the edge of a tufted silk sofa until Andre returned and.
handed. her the pendant with reverence. It is magnificent, AndrO Your
people have enhanced a masterpiece.' She kept her smile regal, cognizant
of the lines around her eyes. The pendant was a glass sculpture of a
ballet dancer. by Pascal, the foot encased in a delicate gold ballet
slipper, the body in an attitude of movement, hair piled high on the
green-glass head, and around the neck of the piece a choker ofemeralds
and diamonds set in gold   . She would wear it with her white silk
caftan. She wrote him a cheque for the balance owed, forcing the pen to
move smoothly across the fines. Sixteen thousand francs - an expensive
excuse to come to Paris. She glanced at her watch. It was time for her
appointment with Gmo.A 14 Andrd placed the pendant in a suede jewel-box
and put it in her purse. She bid him goodbye and left the ,E pleasant
warmth of the shop, holding her white lynx mat about her, trying to keep
the cold draught from seeping between the folds. Workmen were busily
repairing the damage of the morning, crowding the sidewalks with
equipment, spilling their tools on to the kerbs. just as she was
half-way around the square approach- _iAg Cartier, someone pushed her
from behind, very ,hard, propelling her forward. She barely caught her
Ibalance, before she felt an even harder push that ,knocked her into the
arms of a swarthy-looking workman. But instead of assisting her, he
shoved her backward, catching her under the chin, and she fell hard on
the icy pavement. As she landed, the workman who had knocked her down
grabbed her purse a W ducked into an archway between two adjacent
buildings. She cried out to him, 'Come back!' fighting' the sense of
instant terror that surged through her. She tried to see who had pushed
her, but people crowded around asking if she was all right. Her body was
as ,cold as the icy sidewalk underneath her, her heart pounded, and she
felt as if someone had just torn out he ,x insides. Thirty-two thousand
francs worth of jewellery, her passport and her money - and it all
,,meant nothing to her compared to what else was in ,,,,:'herpurse.
Someone helped her to her feet, someone else brushed off. She was
shaking from the effort of controlling --her desire to scream for the
police who were everywhere her. But she couldn't tell them what had
ppened. She pushed aside the well-wishers and uc ed into the archway
after the thief. 15 It was no use. She'd never find him. There was a
stone bench there carved into the wall of the colonnade. She looked back
waiting until the curious had gone, and then she sat on the bench and
wept, silent and motionless, trying to contain her despair and her fear.
Her hands were shaking badly when she wrote that cheque at Van Cleefs.
Now they were fluttering out of control. A sob broke loose fi-om inside,
releasing a torrent.'Oh God, no!'What will I do? she thought wildly, I
must get to Gino. She couldn't go back to Van Cleef  Arpels. They would
want to report the theft and she didn't have the time for that. She
needed a handkerchief. Oh God, there was so much she needed right now.
She sat there for a while composing herself with great effort, trying to
think of what to do. She couldn't walk all the way to the Rive Gauche
and she had no money for a taxi, but she had to do something. She
stepped back into the street and caught sight of a hotel where she had
frequently stayed. They know me there, she thought, and she started back
around the square, formulating a plan as she walked. When she reached
the hotel she hurried through the lobby and went directly into the gift
shop. The salesgirl was typically French. No smile, black-red nail
polish, three-quarter skirt, and pencil-thin body. Elena man- aged to
appear calm as she browsed for a moment and then chose a leather purse
similar to the one that had been stolen. 'Mademoiselle,' she said to the
girl, her chin raised, her body taut, 'I am Contessa Elena Brisson. I
wish to charge this purchase though I am not a guest in the hotel. I
would also like you to cash a perso,,qal note for me. I need one hundred
and fifty francs, just enough to get me back to my friend's apartment.'
16 The girl stared at her      if she were mad. as I'm not to do such a
thing, madame!'These crazy old -authorized crows, she thought. Elena
glared back at her, her heart pounding. 'Call the concierge!'she
demanded. Monsieur Bonhomme was happy to extend the credit when Elena
explained that she had been out-walking  7without her purse and couldn't
resist buying this ow- TM staying with friends this tune, Monsieur
Bonhomme, but my next trip I shall be back in my usual liuite on the
eighth floor.' She smiled at him, using every effort of will not to slap
the smirking shop girl. 'rU never buy another thing from this little
snit, she Armed with her empty purse and the money, she I$rabbed a taxi
in front of the hotel, telling the driver to he rto 22 Rue du Bac. I
can'the late, she thought. if Gino has left without waiting for me? That
was horrible to imagine! Her skin was beginning to burn :and yet she was
itill freezing cold. She would have to report her passport and her
credit cards stolen. But I'll it later, she thought, as she sat back in
the taxi, and I also stop payment on my cheque to Van Cleefs. Let ins.
urance company pay for the theft of thejewel. 77 crawled through the
mid-afternoon traffic the  Pont Alexandre and past the hotel des 'des.
She felt as if she might jump out of her skin. U UP, hurry up! The sky
was still a drab grey and it ng to snow. After I meet Gino, she thought,
I ginni W" walk directly back to my hotel. It is only a few away, and
then I will have the rest of the ",."afternoon to feel human again. Her
nerves had worn ':paper thin. Her skin was beginning to itch and her
teeth were chattering from the cold. She had that same sick ling of
death in the pit of her stomach. 17 The Rue du Bac was a fashionable
street, with antiques shops, boutiques and an abundance of coiffeurs.
The French must have their hair done twice a day to keep so many salons
in business, she thought as she hurried by. Number 22 was between a
florist and a patisserie. She rang the bell and waited. No one answered,
so she tried the door. It swung open and she stepped into a narrow
hallway leading to a courtyard of apartments. Someone had converted this
old building by adding a wooden staircase and catwalks across the front
and then cutting doors into the outside stone to form separate
entrances. It was ugly, she thought, noticing that Apartment D was on
the third landing. Her footsteps echoed on the flimsy wooden staircase.
It shook beneath her weight, as if any moment it would give way and she
would fall to the cement below. She was still shaking and her nose was
running inelegantly. She dug. into an inside coat pocket and found a
handmade lace handkerchief. I must buy more of these in Portofino, she
thought crazily. There was music coming from one of the apartments. A
radio, she guessed. She knocked on the door of Apartment D. 'Who is itTa
man's voice asked. 'Elena!' she answered defiantly. She heard the bolt
slide open and she stepped inside., The apartment was horrible. It
smelled like boiled broccoli. There was an unmade bed and a portable
kitchen unit littered with open containers of food and boxes of
crackers. A plastic laminate table and two chairs sat in one comer and
near the bathroom door was an upholstered chair with a tom green
covering. A whore's room. Someone grabbed her by the hair and twisted
her arm behind her. She winced, but she didn't cry out. 18 'I don't like
to be kept waiting,'Gino hissed in her ear. "And I don't like to be made
to      come here, like a Mmon whore' 'she answered. He shoved her hard
and she fell against the table, ,bruising her hip. ace him. He was
smiling that $he turned around to f ""luff-crooked smile she knew so
well. Even in February a suntan. She could see the white lines left by
his 'Ai goggles- His usual open-necked silk shirt had been by a
turtleneck. With his curly hair and "Awated eyes he looks satanic, she
thought. But that's bocause she knew him so well. 'Where is it, Gino?
I've come a long way and I've had a Areadful fame getting here.'Her last
reserve of strength was slipping away. She wanted nothing more than to
0Y- on his shoulder and appeal to his sympathy, have him take care of
her. But she knew him too well for that. were was the kind who kicked
you when you              down. she'd been down on him before, she
thought y J        The events of the day had chewed up her control. At
first they were tiny bites stealing a mouthful here and there, but for
the last hour she had felt as if me voracious parasite were eating her
soul bit by bit that only the shell of her remained. Any moment she uld
fall into a spineless heap. he heard the sound of a toilet flush and a
woman -0-pped out of the bathroom. She was large and doughy, e ut twenty
years old with fat upper arms and breasts. e was wearing a chemise that
covered her just to the Ops of her fleshy legs. behi Elena hung on to
the Formica table        nd her, or her 31mees would not have held her
up. Why did he do this to "A" )er she couldn't afford witnesses! As she
looked at him fury began to give her a rush of w energy. 19 'Tell her to
leave, you bastard!'she said. 'Ah now, princess, it's fi-eezing outside.
You want to spoil my afternoon? Margareth won't see anything.' Elena
looked at the girl. She was glassy-eyed and grinning stupidly as she
shuffled to the bed and sat down on it in slow motion. She caught sight
of her own exposed crotch and began to play with the hair - pulling it
and smoothing it. Slowly she lay back against the wall and closed her
eyes, continuing to fondle herself while they watched her. Elena felt
her fi-eezing feet come to life inside her boots and warm surges flowed
from her calves to her groin in spite of her anxiety. S@e tore her eyes
away from the girl and implored Gino with her expression.'Give me my
packet.' He walked over to the chair in the corner and picked up a man's
leather bag. He undid the double buckles and reached inside, then tossed
her a plastic bag full of white powder. She caught it between her
fingers, feeling its weight with glorious relief. It was enough to last
for a while. 'I need a fix, Gino!' 'You can use hers,'he said. 'No.' She
quivered with tension. 'I don't know what she's got in her veins!' 'Then
sterilize it. There's a stove.' He indicated the kitchen unit. I'm
running out of time, she thought. In a minute I'll have to ask him to
inject me. The girl was moaning softly, rolling her head back and forth
against the wall. The fingers of one hand had disappeared inside her. Oh
God, Elena thought as she moved- to find a pot in which to boil water. I
am no better than this whore. Gino came up behind her and ran his hands
over the 20 silky luxury of her fur coat, sending the warm surge up to
her shoulders. He didn't try to excite her, knowing she couldn't feel
anything more than the need for the drug at the moment. But as soon as
she was mellow she would be begging for him. She would be begging for
both of them. He helped her off with her coat just as the water boiled.
The hypodermic looked official lying in the chipped enamel pan. This new
stuff he gave her hadn't been cut yet. She was one of his better
customers. it wouldn't do to lose her too fast. 21 Chapter 3 It was
-after five when Brenda arrived at White Memorial. Her legs ached. It
had been a long, intense day over-shadowed by the knowledge that this
was the only place she wanted to be. She cradled her bag of food,
protecting it from the snow, and went through the revolving doors. They
were bringing dinner to the wards. The acrid, rotting odour of food mixed
with damp clothing and steaming radiators assailed her. She hesitated
outside the door of 502. How would he be today? Could she make her news
exciting enough so that he would share it with her and not feel apart
from her? Should I play it downi or build it up;? she wondered. That was
one of the side effects of dying. She couldn't go with him and he
couldn't stay with her. She pushed open the door and went in. There he
was. That dear familiar face so wasted and thin. Every time she saw him
her heart lurched. His profile was outlined by the dim evening light. He
looked terrible. His skin was a yellowish colour and his brown eyes and
natural grin were constantly distorted by pain now, even when he looked
at her with love. He seemed to be asleep. At least he wasn't suffering
at the moment. She tiptoed across the room and sat down quietly in the
vinyl chair. She had sat in that chair so much lately she'd begun to
dream about it at night. Her paper bag rattled. 23 'Is that a
Wetson!sjumbo burger I smell.The said. 'Ratso. I thought you were
asleep.' 'Well, is itT 'I've got onion rings and jumbo cheeseburgers and
chocolate shakes and cherry turnovers.' 'Who would ever have thought a
Jew from the Bronx could be so happy at the prospect of such chazerieT
he joked. God, she loved him!'How did it go todayT 'About the same. I've
had some bladder pain. They irrigated my catheter three times because of
blockage. But I just had a shot so I'll be good for a while. But I
couldn't eat lunch. Creamed beef on English muffin. It looked
disgusting.' Brenda unwrapped the food and set it all out on the paper
bag on his side table. She removed her coat and her muffler and her
boots, and stepped over to the sink to wash her hands. As soon as she
entered a room she overpowered it. It was not just her boisterousness
but her general expansiveness. In fact, everything about her was larger
than life except her height. She supposed that she looked ethnic but
Barry insisted she looked exotic. She had large blue eyes, a large full
mouth, and an even larger smile. Her breasts were a bit too full for a
woman her size and she wore her curly blonde hair in a natural. She was
usually eight or ten pounds overweight. But right now her weight was
down eight pounds due to the permanence of the tight knot in her
stomach. A tight knot she was loath to define as grief. Whatever it was,
it. had killed her appetite. 'Is it still snowingThe asked. 'Yeah.' She
took a breath. 'Guess where I was all afternoon?' 'Making love to
Marcello MastroianniT 24 'No!' 'Billy CrystalT Se serious.' OK. Where
were youT 'Being wooed away from B B C  R by the prestigious firm of
McNaughton and McBride!' 'Honey, that's great! Now I can retire at
thirty and let iMY wifle support me.' He looked away from her. Her curly
blonde hair reminded him of a dandelion in a summer field. II'You should
have seen me in those hallowed halls of Wall Street. They doWt know what
to make of me - a ''naturally talented, brilliant and clever stockbroker
who looks like a slightly zaffig Streisand. Those greysuited Wasps are
so austere they're almost clerical.'She tried to keep it light. But
Barry was solemn. 'Speaking of clerical, Brenda,' he said, 'I've
definitely decided against our getting married until I'm out of the
hospital. I don't want to get married mthis stinking hospital and I
don't want a marriage that I can't consummate.' 'But we've already
consummated it. I don't want to "wait. 'The answer is no!' 'OK, OK! So I
won't get the insurance,' she teased to hide her desperation. They both
knew he didn't have any insurance. Damn, he was stubborn. He might never
get out of the hospital. This might be their only chance to be married.
She wanted to be his wife if it meant only ,having this much of him.
'Anybody call today?, 'Yeah. My dad dropped in and your brother Bernie
called and your mother too.' 'That was nice.' She bit into the burger
not tasting it -at all. 'Dr Otashi says the tumour in the groin is a bit
25 smaller. So the chemotherapy might be having some effect.'He started
to cough. He seemed weaker today. Otashi had told her they feared lung
involvement. She'd wanted to kick Otashi in the balls. He picked up his
sandwich. 'This hamburger is great! God, I wish we were at the Paramount
Theatre right now, with tins bag of food, watching a double feature of
science-fiction movies. That's the one thing I can't wait to do. Go to
the movies.' 'What are they bringing you for dinner?' 'You filled out
the menu. I don't remember.' 'Oh yeah, tonight is lasagna. My
favourite,'she added lamely. 'You can have it all. This hamburger is
enough for me.' He hadn't eaten more than one bite. He put it down on
the wrapper and shifted his weight, trying to appear cheerful, but she
could see the pain was beginning again. He had told her that his legs
from his hips to his knees felt as if they were being stuck by needles,
while his lower back was being twisted on a rack, first one direction
and then another. He tensed his body to fight ,off the spasm that
clutched him, but it was no use. He sank back on the pillows and closed
his eyes. 'Oh shit,' he said. 'Tell me about all those assholes at B B C
R who are not dying of cancer. Tell me you want this pathetic, hairless,
impotent skeleton of a man!' Brenda jumped out of her chair. 'Shut up,
you ingrate!' He looked at her in shock and tears came to his eyes.
Usually she soothed him and cried over him when he talked like that.
'I'd love you and I'd want you if they cut you off at the waist and had
bottles attached to every draining pustule! Id love you if we made love
with a dildo for the 26 rest of our lives. I'd love you if you were so
bald an eagle fought me for your affections. And I want you to livejust
as much as you do.' She put her head on his lap and sobbed. 'I'm sorry,
honey.' It was hard for him to believe that she could love him looking
the way he did. 'It's tough on you too. I know! I couldn't make it
without you. You're the only reason I keep going. Otherwise I wouldn't
want to go on.'Her head was pressing in all the wrong places but he
didn't want to tell her. He just held her there wishing he could hug her
without suffering for it. She raised her head and smiled at him. 'Did we
miss the Star Trek rerun?' 'It's on in fifteen minutes.' 'Want an onion
ring?' He nodded. 'Brenda. About the wedding. I'll think about it some
more, OK.' 'OK.' Maybe I'm pushing him too hard, she thought. It's his
ego at stake. What would I get out of it after all? A bittersweet tragic
ceremony where the groom can't stand on his feet for more than seven
minutes. Two sets of hysterical parents, especially his mother, who
thinks he should go to a faith healer in South America. His mother
doesn't think I'm good enough for her brilliant son. Well, maybe I'm a
little overweight. But if he went into remission I'd lose five more
pounds so fast she wouldn't know what hit her. 'What are you thinking
about?' 'Your mother... and They Came From Outer Space.' Helaughed. It
was so good to hear a moment of painless laughter. 'You know something,
Brenda, you make me feel like a winner.' 'You're a winner, all right.'
She sighed. 'Second prize in a Polish raffle.' 27

She didn't know how long she'd sat there staring at the grating on his
window, but it had blended with the cells of her retina, forming a
jail-like 'e pattern on her brain, while the snow drifting down outside
the window was oh scured by her tears. Would he really be gone? The
thought never failed to stab her, no matter how many times she tested
herself with its potency. Barry dead? Stab! He's going to die. Stab! The
pain of it radiated through her. Don't think about it! Think about the
moments of joy, the meetings, and the loving and the promises. But the
taste of tragedy made her choke while the knot inside expanded,
enlarging, pressing on her diaphragm, hardly leaving room for air. Or
was it her heart that hurt? He stirred and moaned. She realized thatmost
of the time she felt sick. 'What time is itT She was shocked to find it
was 9.30. 'Is it time for another shot?' His voice sounded anguished at
needing it, at wanting it, at not wanting it. She remembered the first
tune she'd heard that voice ... She was sitting in an empty row at the
back of the lecture hall in Professor Weilhaussen's Advanced Accounting,
and someone said, 'Is this seat takenT It was a smart-ass question
because there were only sixty students in this huge lecture hall.
Vhatsamatta you don't got eyes?' she wise-cracked, and looked into his.
They were brown, and smiling and teasing.          He slipped into the
seat next to her and lifted up the writing desk. 'What are you doing
hereThe asked. 'I was born with brains!' she teased, thinking he was
definitely cute - and he knew it. Insolently he eyed her chest. 'Brawn
too?' 28 She stared at his lap. 'I see you're well endowed also!' She was
usually at ease with this kind of banter, but for some dumb reason she
blushed then, and when she looked at him he was blushing too. Tm sorry,'
he said, extending his hand. 'My name's Barry Cohen.' 'And I'm Brenda
Greenstein,' she replied, reaching out to shake his hand. The lecture
was beginning and she tried to concentrate, but she was acutely aware
of him, and all the empty seats around her, and his jacket, wool plaid,
rubbing against her arm. Brenda the sensualist, she thought, feeling
electrical extensions from her toes to her curls reach out to him,
lightly exploring him. And though they both appeared to be concentrating
on the lecture, their auras were having an electrical storm. I should
have made him show me a medical history back then, she thought. A pledge
I could have held him to: 'I promise never to get cancer, Brenda, so we
can live happily ever after.' The nurse came in and gave him his shot.
She watched the needle go in. Don't be bitter. Think. about the good!
About the time he met my parents and he and dad talked sports all night.
Barry the baseball fanatic and dad the football fiend. She had been
afraid someone would commit murder that night. When he left, her father
turned to her and said,'I like that young man. He knows what he's
talking about!' She knew him well before he kissed her. They'd had lunch
together twice, and coffee once. Then she ran into him at the student
union -and they went to the library together. She had excellent
discipline when it came to studying. Learning and religion were revered
in her household, and she observed all the traditions. But that 29
afternoon, the history of Tudor England, the symptoms of paranoia, the
future growth potential of Company A based on its acquisitions, the rate
of inflation, and a public stock offering, all swam before her eyes. Her
hands perspired and her knees tingled and her right ear itched every
time Barry looked at her. She was so unnerved that she jumped when he
closed Ins book with a sudden thump that bounced off the vaulted ceiling
of the business library. 'Let's get out of here!' They were Tracy and
Hepburn as he held her hand. Her books were like concrete blocks in her
right arm. She clutched them, enduring the strained muscles rather than
let go of his hand. Snow had fallen during the night and continued for
most of the morning. But when they came out of the library it had
stopped and the sun was shining on a sparkling white blanket that
covered humps of cars and roofs of buildings, making this grey section
of New York clean and pure. The sun edged the billowy clouds overhead
with touches of gold, and she felt almost religious. Barry had an old
Chevrolet, rubbed-out blue. It was rusted, worn, and freezing inside. He
took her books solemnly and placed them on the back seat and she slid
in, wondering where they were going. Her mind raced; I know he likes me
or he wouldn't be bothering, but I'm not his type. I don't appeal to the
slender, athletic fraternity guys, though he doesn't belong to a house.
, 'I'm an individual,' he told her, 'though I live within the pack. I
like to observe, and sometimes I participate with the rest. But I'm not
interested in their games.' She thought how wise he was, and cursed
herself for ever wanting, even for a moment, to belong. He got into the
car on the driver's side and she noticed .30 how his short reddish-brown
hair curled at the hairline. He looked at her with a serious,
questioning look. "Brenda, Brenda, what am I going to do with youT Her
line reminded her of Cary Grant, 'Kiss me, you fDoF But he didn't laugh.
Instead he leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. She had a sudden
wish that she lived in her own apartment and could stop necking with
boys in cars. His mouth was warm in contrast to the cold air. The tip of
her nose warmed against his cheek. He held her face with his hands as he
kissed her and she knew she could love him. Everything solid inside of
her melted as he kissed her, liquefying her mouth and her eyes and
between her legs. She was trembling as he slid closer and continued to
kiss her, reaching behind her hips to press her against him. It was a
long kiss. A lovely kiss. And each of them found that it answered the
question they'd both been asking: was there really a chemistry God, yes.
Chemistry then and chemotherapy now. When the kiss was over, Brenda knew
she would lose her virginity to him, at long last. Though she'd told
herself that same thing many times before and it hadn't happened yet.
She had never trusted anyone enough, never wanted anyone enough to allow
it. Not that she didn't love to pet, but sex held too much of a promise
to practise it with an acquaintance or a conquest, and not a lover.
After the kiss he asked her, 'What do you want out of life?'His timing
lent a special meaning to the question. 'Everything!'she answered. She
was swept away with an overwhelming love of life, of old Chevies, of
snow- covered campuses, and advanced accounting professors. 'I want to
make a fortune in business, and I want to get 31 married, and have kids,
and live in Manhattan in a gorgeous remodelled apartment with French
panelled walls and modern Italian furniture, and I want to wear designer
clothes, and maybe have a cottage somewhere for the summer at the beach
or on a lake or in the mountaim. He was studying her carefully,
measuring her investment in this dream. Her face lit up when she talked
about life, always had. 'How many kidsT She shrugged.'I come from a
family of five, so three or four wouldn't throw me. Of course I want to
get established in my career first, and I've got to travel!' 'of
course,' he said gently. And then she saw tears in his eyes. Real tears,
fi-oin a man, from him. This selfassured, kind-of cocky guy who was
certain to make Pin Beta, and seemed to know everyone wherever they went
- 'Hiya Barry,''Howyadoin' guy,' 'What's happening',' T17haVs
new,"Howdyouliketo'- was shedding tears for her. She touched her finger
to Ins face and smiled inquisitively. What is itT 'Do you think you
could ever be a baseball fanT The shot they gave him had relieved him,
because he fell back to sleep. It was time to go. Back to her apartment
alone, back to the knot, and the sick feeling inside and the dreams of
sadness. She gathered up her belongs and tiptoed out into the hall to
put on her coat. She told Mrs Mason at the nurse's station she was
leaving and headed for the elevator. 'Brendaaaa!' His scream caught her
half-way down the hall. Heart pounding, dear God, dear God, she raced
back to his room. He was sitting up in bed, round eyes filled with 32
ugee from Dachau, and terror, thin and balding, a ref
he said, I thought you had disappeared!' Knives again. How about another
stab. Brenda? Here and here and here! All the wind was knocked out of
her. She rushed to his bed and put her arms around him, hugging him to
her. 'I'm here,' she soothed. 'Don't worry! I'm here! I'll sleep on old
vinyl tonight! Don't worry!' After a while his trembling subsided. 'I'm
all right now. I just wanted to see you, that's all.' 'Can't get enough
of me, huhT She sat down again, and he relaxed. 'You can go now,' he
insisted. 'I'll be all right. The medications make you feel so weird.'
'Naw, I'll stick around and make sure.'She held on to his hand until he
was asleep again, and then she curled up and dozed in the vinyl torture
chamber. She was the only one who woke up in the morning. 33 Chapter 4
Alone! Anne plugged in her earphones and tuned in a music channel. An
hour more until the movie. The earphones were uncomfortable. They
irritated the tender inside rim of her ear, but the music shut out the
passengers on either side. She hated to be hemmed in in the middle seat.
The story of her LIFE! she thought. But, it was going to be different
now. She wanted it to be different. She wasn't going to live her life
for anyone else ever again. The stewardess in the next aisle reminded
her of Jill. They all looked like Jill. Sexy, glamorous, long-haired,
young. She felt drab, lacking in style, without flair. But she didn't
look much different at twenty-nine than she had at twenty-five. A few
more lines around the eyes, maybe, and next year she'd have a few more.
The divorce had been bitter but at least that had helped put Jeff out of
her mind, she hoped, once and for all. Now she felt free, and somewhat
proud, having made the decision to take this trip to Europe by herself.
The settlement from Jeffrey had helped, of course. Sixty-five thousand
dollars and twelve hundred dollars a month for two years. With the
twenty-five thousand dollars she'd inherited from her father's insurance
policy last year and her half of their savings account she had almost
one hundred thousand dollars. It was amazing how free she felt. Her
attorney had been right, 35 her friend Nancy had been right, her mother
had been right: having money felt good. And she would see Paris! All her
life, Paris had meant love and adventure and now she was going to find
those things for herself. Romantic love, not deceit and failure. This
was her chance to change, to break out of the old mould. She was
desperate to be different. No more plain Anne. No more devotion to
anyone else. Just me me me. Psychotherapy had not been the answer,
though she had tried it those first few months after losing Jeff. But
getting away, having capital of her own, these might make the
difference. Ah, Paris. If it were only the first city on her itinerary.
In spite of the jet lag, Anne's excitement carried through to her
arrival. She hadn't slept on the plane. The seats were too
uncomfortable, the anticipation too great. She arrived at the    Royal
Angus Hotel around noon London time. - Her room had only one window and
it faced a nudie movie house. There was a sign on the roof of the
theatre that flashed on and off all day. The hallways of the hotel had a
nauseating odour of dusty cooked cabbage. But when she opened her window
to get some air, the traffic .below was so noisy she closed it again.
The exhilaration of adventure beeped beeped its horns beneath her
window. 'Welcome to England, Anne,' she said aloud, and crawled under
the bedspread and fell asleep. When the phone rang at 6.30 she thought
it was the middle of the night. The tour group director was calling to
invite her for cocktails in the dining-room, 'our getacquainted hour
before dinner, dear. We want everyone to meet their fellow tour members.
Oh yes, and casual attire.' 36 Well. here it is, Anne thought, replacing
the receiver. right I will,be witty, I will be adorable! Tonight is a
view start. The tour director was Frances Whiteside, English, about
forty, with glasses and buck teeth. She handed Anne a gummed-label name
tag and turned her over to her son, Buckley, nineteen years old, with
glasses and buck teeth. 'Take Miss Scott around, dear, and introduce her
to some of the others since she is travelling single. Although now that
you're with Uni-Spec Tours you need never be alone,' she grinned. Anne
grinned back, her sense of promise growing. Anne glanced at Buckley, not
a remote possibility. Buckley led her to a group of four white-haired
ladies in their sixties, wearing polyester pantsuits. 'Hello, lovelies,'
he emphasized his accent, and they all simpered. Miis is Anne Scott.
Anne, meet the girls from Salt Lake City.' They all nodded, their white
heads bobbing like a field of overripe cotton. 'Where are you from9'a
lady named Tessie asked. Los Angeles,'she answered. The one labelled
Mary asked,'Isn't London exciting?, And the one tagged Lorraine
nodded.The pulse of the city is really beating here.' 'Well, Ive really
not had time to take it yet,' Anne said. 'What, dear?'the one labelled
Maggie said. The city's pulse,' Anne quipped, and the ladies giggled
appreciatively. 'Excuse me,' Anne said, feeling she'd better make an
exit while she was ahead. Polyester-and-cotton was not her blend. 'She's
a clever girl,' she heard Tessie say as she walked away. 37 Sharp as a
tack, Anne thought. A young woman with a blonde natural approached her
and they stared at each other's chests and then both of them laughed.
'It's awkward, isn't itT Anne asked. 'We should put our name tags on our
foreheads.' 'That's what God said to Moses about His commandments. "Thou
shalt wear them as frontlets between thine eyes..."' She stuck out her
hand. I'm Brenda Greenstein from New York.' 'Anne Scott, LA.' Mrs
Whiteside announced dinner. 'Shall weT Brenda said, and they joined the
crowd inching into the next room. There were three tables set up for the
tour. Anne and Brenda were seated at the same table separated by a
professor of botany from Whittier, California, travelling with his
mother. Brenda deftly switched the place cards so that she and Anne were
next to each other. On Anne's right was a fourteen-year-old girl. Next
to her was her brother, twelve, and their parents, the Wilsons, from
Wisconsin. Ted Wilson was a high-school English teacher and his wife
taught piano. Then came two couples from Scotland who were travelling
together. The women both used dark eye make-up and wore heavy gold
pendants around their necks; the men affected gold bracelets and drank a
lot. The two Scottish women were involved in conversation with each
other while their husbands talked. The professor from Whittier talked to
the teacher from Wisconsin, the Wilsons' children talked to their mother
and that left Anne and Brenda to get acquainted. 'Your first trip to
EuropeT Anne nodded. 'Yours tooT 38 I thought a tour would be the best
way to see the most in the shortest time. I have this fear that I'm 90mg
to miss something. I want to see everything, museums and castles, and
even the cities that aren't on this tour. Greedy, aren't IT Her breathy
enthusiasm interested Anne. Brenda seemed fi-ee and unconcerned about
what anyone else thought. Even the way she called herself greedy as if
that were an admirable trait. Her large features blended into a rich
expression when she talked, and her openness drew Anne, made her feel
comfortable. 'You know what I meanTshe asked, as if Anne's understanding
was crucial. Anne nodded. 'That's exactly why I took this trip. It
offers an overview of all the major places; then I'll come back and see
them in depth another time.' If I ever get married again, she thought.
'It's going to be frustrating to see only the top layers of a city! You
know, not getting to know the traffic patterns and the best restaurants
and the latest boutiquesP Brenda's long slender fingers and expressive
hands moved as she talked, carrying her words to the listener, catching
every wandering glance and bringing it back to her. Anne had never met a
young woman like her. 'Are you divorcedT Anne asked, during the meal of
well-done roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Brenda's openness gave her
the confidence to ask a personal question. 'No,'Brenda laughed. 'Just
worn out.'But she noticed that Anne was the one who looked worn out.
Anne hunched her shoulders as she sat, as if she were protecting herself
from a blow she expected at any moment. Uptight lady, Brenda thought.
I'll bet you're divorced,' Brenda said, noticing that 39 Anne winced at
the question. She thought Anne was beautiful. Not with the kind of
beauty that would grab you the minute she walked into the room, but with
a kind of feminine vulnerability that had a definite appeal. Except to
her husband. 'Divorces are boring!' Anne said, denying her own interest
in the subject. I 'Well, you must tell me about yours some time,' Brenda
said. 'I don't mind being bored.' Anne smiled, and her tension eased.
Brenda helped herself to generous portions of food as the waiters passed
by. And in spite of the fact that she was slightly overweight, she was
unquestionably chic. 'What do you do?'Brenda enquired between mouthfuls
of trifle. 'Graphic Designing ... but I wanted to be a teacher,' Anne
added. Something in Brenda's raised eyebrow made her defensive.'My firm
does Commercial advertising.' 'Why didn't you teachT 'I quit school when
I got married. I was lucky to get my job. My husband was studying to be
a doctor and he couldn't work and go to school.' 'Couldn'tT A flash of
loyalty erupted from somewhere underneath all the hard feelings, Tre-med
and medical school are very tough!' 'There's always night school.'
Brenda didn't know why she was pushing. Let the girl alone. Don't be a
onewoman crusader. 'I couldn't go to night school because I tutored my
husband in the evenings,' Anne answered, suddenly feeling sorrier for
herself than she ever had during her marriage. 'And now he's got the
MD!'Brenda couldn't resist. 40 'I know, I've got a lot to learn,Anne
said. That's why rm here. But whbt about you, Brenda? What do you doT I
'Well, I completed an apprentice programme for stockbrokers in Manhattan
and I've been working there since November.' 'A lady stockbroker! Is
there much discrimination in the brokerage businessT Us like anything
else run by men. A woman has to be ahead all the time ... as well as
give it.' Anne laughed. 'Before that I went to Bayside High School and
graduated in accounting from NYU. I figured Id be sure to meet some guy
majoring in bus-ad. I mean, there are so many more men than women. Well,
I did. I met Barry. Barry Cohen from the Bronx. We went together for two
years. We were engaged when he discovered a lump in his groin. They
operated and removed his testicles, but he died a year and a half
later,just last fall.'She paused. 'Watching someone die has a sobering
effect, you know.' She hated these explanations, they were so stupidly
madequate. How could she tell anyone about his smile! Her eyes filled
with tears. 'Oh, I'm sorry.' Anne said. 'What a horrible thing to have
happened. It makes my story petty by comparison.' Brenda nodded. Anne
had understood. 'Every time one of my friends says to me, "I feel
terrible," I say to them, "What's so terrible? If you got a stomachache
or if your boy-ftiend is cheating, that's bad; but if you're dying of
cancer, that's terrible."' 'How did you get over it?'Anne asked. 'What
makes you think I'm over itT 'Because you seem able to talk about it
easily.' That's just my act,' Brenda said, moved by Anne's sincerity. 'I
cried every day at first. You think it won't end, the pain and the
crying. Maybe I'll always cry when 41 I picture him suffering like that.
But after a while it becomes less and less, it gets easier.' 'I know
what you mean. I'm still crying about my divorce, but not as much as I
did.' 'Divorce can be harder in many ways,' Brenda answered. 'Your
ex-husband is still around to torment you with his escapades.' They both
smiled, comforted by the depth of their. mutual understanding. Anne felt
a small part of the knot inside her begin to loosen. She had a feeling
of wellbeing that she had not experienced in a long time. But Brenda,
who did not want to continue such a serious conversation, said, 'I never
knew cherry pie could taste like my fluoride toothpaste!' and they both
laughed. They spent their days touring London, the museums and the
churches and the parks and the changing of the guard. They went
antiquing and on a tour of the nightclubs, all the while enjoying each
other's company, though Anne couldn't help but wish that something
exciting would happen. It was cold in England and cold in Holland and
only slightly warmer in Germany. Forty degrees in June, who would have
believed it? And then it was time for Paris. Magic city on    the Seine.
The couturiers, the boutiques, the magnificence and voluptuousness that
was Paris. Lady of the afternoon, lying lazily on her side. Boulevards
and bridges, chapels and churches. Breathtaking, enormous Paris. The
unrealized dreams of an American girl were waiting in every comer cafe.
Never mind that she wasn't fluent in the language; magic had its own
words, a wave of the wand, a sleight of the hand and, presto,
transformation. 42 Paris was warm. It was early July, summer had
arrived, and lovers actually walked with thew arms around each other.
Paris was all it had been touted. Barkers at a carnival promising the
wonders of Little Egypt had actually provided it - the most beautiful
city . the world. Things were going to be different fi-om now in on,
there was no doubt about it. 43 Chapter 5 Anne and Brenda sat at the CaM
Deux Magots sipping wine and watching the passing parade. 'If I see
another Louis Vuitton purse I'm going to scream!'Brenda said. I think
it's divine. I'll bet that girl over there is a model, and the
dark-skinned man with her must be an Arabian prince.' It's against my
principles to drool over Arabian princes, Anne. That's what we call My
tree in Israel would shrivel and die! . . . Don't look now,' she said
out of the comer of her mouth, 'but that gorgeous guy with the dimples
and the hairy chest is giving you the eyeP clffliere?p 'Over there,
don't look now! He's coming this way-' Anne turned and looked at him. He
was wearing tight jeans and a body shirt open to the waist, an
assortment of charms dangled from the heavy gold chains around his neck,
and he swaggered with a cocky confidence. He nodded and waved to several
people seated at the tables. Anne waited for him to approach her. This
was it! Her romantic interlude, about to begin. He walked directly
towards her. Their eyes met. But just as he got to her table, he turned
and sat down next to a blonde directly in front of her. Anne recoiled in
surprise, certain that he had been looking at her. 45 'Well!'Brenda
exclaimed. 'Shhh,'Anne cautioned. Sut he was flirting with you, I saw
him.' 'No, it was the girl in front of me. We only saw what we wanted to
see.'The blonde turned slightly, glancing over her shoulder, and gave
them a sly grin that said they didn't have a chance with her around. She
was hanging all over him, smiling at him, leaning into him as she spoke.
They were speaking German, or rather the girl was German. He was French
or Italian. From the easy way they spoke it was difficult to tell if
they knew each other or not. The girl had pale skin, a delicate face and
a beautiful figure. The man put his arm around her, leaned back in his
chair, glancing over his shoulder at the people behind him. He had a
strong square jaw. Anne wanted    to reach out and run her fingers along
it, tracing the sinews thatjumped in and out on his cheeks as he talked,
but she never came close to doing it. Everyone's attention was drawn to
the street entertainment that began without an overture. The expert
beggars of Pans. Out of the crowded street a pantonumist appeared in
black tights and a clown face. He began Ins act by trying to work his
way out of an imaginary box, a citizen of the street captured in front of
them. Bending and pleading silently to be let out of captivity, he
placed his hands on imaginary flat surfaces that surrounded him, feeling
the area, defining it, all the while he was locked up inside. Up and
down he searched, knocking on walls, high and low, searching the comers
until at last, with great caution and then increasing delight, he
discovered a niche high above his head. Hejuniped up to catch the edge,
his fingers hooked there tightly; he glanced down in terror lest he
fall, and then with strength etched in every muscle, he laboriously
chinned himself over the top, his feet slipping on 46 inside surface.
Puffing himself to a straight-arm  ti          his toes, up an dover, at
last he jumped Oat on with The caM broke into applause. Glad to be free,
the mime passed his hat, and everyone contributed. The pantomimist's act
was followed by a man who walked up to the seated audience, took out a
stick with a blunt wrapped end, doused it with liquid from a tank in
front of him, and set the stick on fire. Before the startled audience he
swallowed the burning torch and exhaled a Sheet of flame from his mouth,
spitting a shot of fiery liquid into the street. With one bold move he
wiped his mouth clean of the fire and began to ask the spectators for
money. It was a spectacular moment. The blonde and the handsome man paid
their check and left the cafd, walking slowly up the Boulevard St
Germain. Gino had seen the street show hundreds of times. He walked away
from the cafd nonchalantly, the German girl beside him.. She had a bad
smell about her, and no innocence to recommend her. She was obviously
looking for a place to hang on to. They were all alike, these busty
Nordics in Paris, looking for a lover. He wouldn't have spoken to her if
she hadn't been sitting at 'his' table. He'd made the drop quite
smoothly during the fireeater's show. The envelope stuck easily to the
underside ,of the table. The two American girls sitting behind him, AM
they were the kind he liked. Untouched except for a husband, perhaps a
few boy-friends. They'd seen nothing of the life he had to offer;
wonderful birds to e     rs liold in his palm, petting their quivering f
athe before wrung their necks. in                             ass 4,1 He
gave the Ger an girl a hard pinch on her           and hed her off in
another direction. 'Hey,' she said, ng, until she saw the look in his
eyes. She took the 47 hint and kept going, bewildered by his sudden
change and his disgust.Cochon,'she said. Dumb cunt, he thought. He
wanted to go back to Deux Magots and talk to the two American girls. The
one he'd been flirting with, though plain, was especially appealing, but
he couldn't go near the caM until Elena picked up her stash. He glanced
at his watch, a diamondstudded Pmget, nothing but the best. This latest
shipment of heroin from Hassan was also the best, nearly 90 percent
pure. Hassan, his new supplier, was a find. He had a perfbct cover, and
travelled with diplomatic immunity because of his job with the Emir of
Bhitamin. Hassan insisted that the sheikh knew nothing about tins
narcotics business, but Gino doubted that. There was too much at risk if
the sheikh didn't give his approval. Those guys didn'tjust kill you,
they did things to you first. Who was Hassan kidding? Of course the
sheikh knew; these Arabs never had enough money. Well, neither did he.
And if he could increase his buying power with Hassan, there was no
telling how far this connection could go! Gino seldom made drops himself
any more except to a few personal clients like Elena. He felt a certain
responsibility towards her. She brought him the better clientele, the
ones who didn't have to steal or sell themselves to support their
habits. And he had nearly lost her business six months ago when he made
her come to Margareth's place to make her buy. But with all Elena's
threats, she was still hanging around. He smiled. The man who said the
rich are different from you and me, was wrong. But still, servicing
elite individuals like Elena would never get him into their league. And
that's where he belonged. Not just as someone they tolerated for stud
service or drug supplies, Agg but as an accepted member of their
society. It galled him be on the fringes. Even his friendship with
Carlo, S P 1 A"' Elena's son, wasn't enough to ensure his acceptance.
Carlo and Elena had given him a taste but it wasn't enough. Not nearly
enough. He had walked up St Germain as far as Ted Lapidus, where he
stopped to glance at the clothes, and to check his hair and arrange his
shn-t collar in front of the glass window. Everything hinged on Hassan,
he thought. So far their relationship was good, Hassan trusted him. And
once he was sure of Hassan he would put his real scheme to work. He had
it all worked out, a way to be noticed by someone who could really help
him up the ladder, the big man himself, ViAcenzo Visconte. If he could
impress a man like Visconte, he would be        in anywhere he wanted.
Everyone would notice him everyone would seek his friendship. And then
he'd ie; them all have it! But he had to be very careful. The underworld
connections of his youth in Naples were small-time compared to the power
of a man like Visconte. A charcoal vested suit in the window caught his
eye. He pushed open the heavy door and entered the shop. From her
vantage point at the comer of the building Elena could see when Gino
left his table. Quickly she pushed her way through thejumble oftables,
anxious to occupy the spot first. She tried to appear unhurried, but she
was tense. Her narrow hips manoeuvred this way and that. She held her
head high, regal profile belying her intentions. 'Let it go well!'she
prayed. Anne noticed her as she sat down, a tall, glamorous woman in her
fifties, wearing a wide-brimmed sun-hat, silk scarf and dark glasses.
Her skin was evenly tanned, a bit leathery. She ordered a vermouth
cassis. 48 49 Brenda stood up suddenly. 'I'm going to the john..1 think
rve got a caw of the Parisian parasites.' As she left, Anne saw the
woman reach under her table and pull out an envelope that had been stuck
there. She was about to put it in her purse, but she dropped it. Anne
reached down and picked it up. It wasn't a letter. Anne could feel
something heavy sliding around inside. The envelope was sticky from the
tape that was wrapped around it, and it clung to Anne's hand. The woman
gave the envelope a swift yank, pulling it out ofAnne's hands, avoiding
her curious look. 'Grazie,' she said, and her hand with its long
redlacquered nails shook as she took possession of the envelope. Then
she got up fi-om the table as Anne watched, and went into the interior
of the caM. That was strange, Anne thought, wondering what was in that
envelope. Her imagination had been captivated. She sat inipatiently now,
thinking about the woman and watching the people in the caM watching
her. She'd been here long enough for their faces to look familiar. Meen
minutes went by and Brenda had not returned. Where is she, Anne
wondered. She might really be sick! She signalled the waiter for the
check. The interior of the caM was not as crowded as the sidewalk
tables. A counter faced the entrance, resplendent with pastries,
hard-boiled eggs, liquors and candy. Anne paid her check, amazed that
half a litre of vin ordinture could cost so many francs. Then she asked
directions to the toilette and descended the stairs to the lower level,
passing the kitchen and the banquet rooms on her way. 50 There was an
attendant at a small table at the foot of Ahe stairs with a plate of
money in front of her and a roll toilet paper. The attendant held up her
fingers to the cost of going to the bathroom and handed Anne the roll of
paper. But the bathroom door wouldn't open. Anne pushed on it, but it
was stuck. Something was blocking it from the inside. Srenda,' she
called, 'are you in there?There was no response. Anne gave the door a
hard shove and called in Srenda!' She turned and motioned for the
attendant and together they managed to open the door enough for Anne to
get a hand and shoulder through. The lady with the sun hat and glasses
was lying in back of the door, unconscious and Brenda was sprawled
underneath her! 'Oh my God, Brenda!' Anne cried, pushing her way into
the room. She pulled the woman away from the door and off Brenda, who
was also unconscious. There was no blood, no one had been shot or
stabbed. A rush of fear shot through her. F!rantically she shouted to
the attendant, 'Un Wdecin. Vite! Vitel Emergency! Trh rapidement!' It
was then that she noticed the hypodermic. needle on the floor next to
the woman. Her sleeve was rolled up and her arm was covered with a mass
of I scars. The woman had obviously overdosed, but what had happened to
Brenda? She exammed her friend quickly, looking for wounds or injuries,
but she couldn't find any. She checked Brenda's heart; it was beating
steadily. Anne's thoughts were racing Horrible visions of Brenda being
attacked by a hypodermic-wielding maniac flashed into her mind. She made
certain Brenda was breathing and opened her mouth to clear the trachea.
Brenda seemed all right except that she was unconscious. Quickly Anne
turned her attention to the other 51 woman. Her skm colour was grey and
her pulse difficult to find. 'I have telephoned for an ambulance,
mademoiselle,' the manager told her as he peered into the tiny bathroom
crowded by the two prostrate women. 'Questce que cest?' She shook her
head.Je the saispas. Je les ai trouvi ici.' 'Narcotiquesl' 'Non,'she said
indignantly,diabetiques!' 'Les deux?'he asked incredulously. Both of
them? 'Oui!' she answered. R was obviously heroin, but the manager
seemed so smug. Anne turned back to the woman. She had stopped
breathing. Frantically she felt for her pulse. It was barely beating.
She wanted to shake the breath back into her. She crawled in closer
between the two bodies and stared from one to the other. Compulsively
she checked Brenda again, but she was all right. Only the woman was in
serious jeopardy. She hoped to God she was wrong. But no, the woman
still wasn't breathing. There was no tune to waste. Quickly she leaned
over the supine body, trying to ignore her revulsion, hoping she'd
remember the rudiments of her Red Cross training. I'm breathing into
death, she thought as she cupped her mouth over this stranger's. The air
she breathed out came rushing back to her. She did it again and again
while the woman exhaled death sighs. There seemed to be no change. Why
doesn't somebody help me she prayed. Keep going, don't stop. Her knees
hurt from kneeling, she was practically sitting on Brenda. Inhale - one,
two, three - exhale. Please breathe! It went on for ever. What if she
dies with her mouth on mine? Oh, please don't die. She kept it up until
finally the ambulance arrived with two stretchers and two attendants.
Mercifully they is". relieved her with oxygen and expertise, and the
woman' was breathing again. 30       1 saved her, Anne thought. I saved
her life! N 52 53 Chapter 6 Me corridors of the H6pital du Sacre Coeur
were ancient, lined with office doors of opaque glass like an old office
building Anne had once seen on Hollywood Boulevard. All the beds had
hand cranks with iron bars for the head and feet. And there were nurses
and attendants everywhere, rapidly speaking a medical jargon that defied
translation. They rushed Brenda and the unconscious woman into intensive
care while Anne waited, and paced and stared at unfamiliar faces.
Finally, after hours of X-rays and lab tests they took Brenda to a ward
and told Anne she could see her. As Anne approached the ward she was
suddenly overcome with exhaustion. Her legs felt like rubber. Brenda was
in an iron bed in the middle of a large room of iron bedsteads. Each bed
was next to a metal nightstand and a wooden chair and surrounded by a
white privacy curtain on a ceiling rod that closed with a single pull.
Brenda smiled weakly. 'Are you all right? What did they findT
'Concussion and some bruises.' Tve been so worried! Do you know what
happened?' 'Not really. I went downstairs to the bathroom. It was very
small. And when I came out of the toilet there was this woman standing
there. She had her back to me, and she was injecting something into her
arm. I couldn't 55 believe it! And then she just collapsed, knocking me
against the sink. I lost my balance. It all happened so fast! And I
remember thinking as I fell, Damn these platform shoes ... Oh my head
hurts! I must have hit it on the way down. I don't remember anything
else.' 'When I found you lying there unconscious, I was afraid you'd
been attacked. The other woman had stopped breathing. I gave her
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and then she started breathing again.'
Brenda squeezed her hand. 'How is she nowT 'I don't know, III find out
later. Did they tell you anything elseT 'I have a hairline skull
fracture.' 'Does that mean you have to stay in the hospitalT 'Well at
least for a few days. Do you feel like a heroine?' 'I feel drained. You
know, all the time I was doing it, I kept thinking. I don't want to be
doing this! But there wasn't anybody else.' 'That's what every hero
says!' They were both silent, and then Anne spoke. 'Me tour leaves for
the wine country  in the morning.' 'That's all I've been thinking about.
I want you to go on ahead and I'll catch up with you in the South of
France.' 'No!' Anne said. 'I'm staying with you. There's nothing worse
than being alone and sick in a strange city., 'Yes, there is, overdosing
in a Paris toilette. Who is she?' Anne had never asked. I don't know.
I'll go find out.' 'Not yet.' Brenda held on to her hand, remembering
other hospitals, and other times. 'Stay with me for a while.1 Anne
nodded, grateful for the chance to rest. She sat there until Brenda
started to doze and then went to find about the woman. It is difficult
to obtain informa about someone whose name you don't know in a french
hospital when you are not French. Finally Anne learned that the woman's
name was Elena Brown, Contesm Elena Brisson. But they would only reveal
details of her condition to a relative. Anne felt entitled to
information about someone whose life she had saved. So she told the
attending physician that she was Contessa Brisson's mece from America
and he believed her, though she was nervous about lying. 'I shall take
you to see her, mademoiselle,' he said. 'Her condition is trds graue.'
The woman, who had looked so beautMy tanned only a few,hours, before,
now had a yellowish pallor and her breathing was shallow. There were EKG
monitors hooked up to her and tubes down her nose and throat. Without
muscle tone to support the flesh, she looked terribly old and worn.
'Aunt Elena.' Anne whispered, for the doctoes benefit, afraid that the
woman would awaken and declare her an unpostor. She didn't realize that
speech was impossible with the tracheal tube. The doctor left them
alone, and Anne sat and watched her laboured breathing. How difficult it
had been to breathe life into her. A feeling of sadness swept over her
and she felt like crying. Elena opened her eyes and looked at Anne. They
dared at each other, one from despair, the other from compassion. Tou're
all right!Anne said. The woman stared uncomprehendingly. 'Vous allez
bienl' she repeated, and held the limp hand. 56 57 The eyes were blank
at first and then a glint of gratitude flashed before they closed again.
Anne's heart wrenched. The woman seemed hardly able to sustain her life,
that fragile thread that Anne had willed into her gaunt body. Had the
overdose been an accident9 Anyone who shot heroin into her veins must
want to die! She wondered, watching Elena Brisson sleep, if this woman
would listen to her, if there was any knowledge of life Anne had
acquired that she could impart to a contessa. She asked the nurses to
keep her informed of Contessa Brisson8 progress and went back to her
hotel. She felt strangely committed to helping this woman. Perhaps she
could get through to her! The next morning Anne stopped off to see the
Contessa before visiting Brenda. She was awake and the tracheal tube had
been removed, but the IV was still in place. There was a man sitting by
her bedside. Anne came towards the bed, a tentative smile on her face.
'You don't know me, Contessa, but my name is Anne Scott.' The Contessa
held out a slender hand, brown skin over bones, the IV taped to the
outer wrist. Her nads were still perfectly polished except for one
finger they'd cleaned off to check her colour. 'So, my niece from
America!'Her voice was low and controlled, with rolled consonants.
Italian, Anne decided. 'How brave you were!'The Contessa, smiled back at
her. Anne's eyes moved to the man sitting by the bed. He wore a grey
pinstripe suit. An official? She might be in trouble for impersonating
someone's relative. Ridiculous, she'd saved the woman's LIFE. He rose
from his chair and offered his hand. I am Elena's cousin, Alessandro
Massini. We owe you a mendous debt of gratitude. I know that my cousin
do her best to repay you for your courage.' He handed Anne his card. 'If
you are ever in Rome, I should like to be allowed to do my part as
well!' 'Thank you,'she said, noticing how handsome he was. He turned
back to his cousin and took her other hand in his, bringing it to his
lips. They conversed together in Italian while Anne studied him. He
spoke earnestly, as if he were the Contessa's lover stroking her hand as
he talked. He seemed gentle and kind. The kindness softened his strong
features, the straight Italian nose, the greying temples, and dark
eyebrows over green eyes. Yes, Anne decided as she saw him smile at
Elena, he was very kind. He had a way of tilting his head as he
listened, that showed his concern. And as he spoke to his cousin, he
would glance politely at Anne from tune to tune as if to include her. It
made her feel, quite special. As he got up to leave, he took Anne's hand
again. 'Thank you so much, Miss Scott.' A red handkerchief peeked out of
his breast pocket and she detected the scent of fresh lemons. 'I trust
we shall meet again.' He gave her a firm handshake. 'I hope we do,' she
replied. He was so impeccably turned out she became aware of her plain
Levi skirt and T-shirt, wishing they were more. If his cousin is a
contessa, does that make him nobility too? she wondered. When he had
gone, the Contessa motioned for her to take his chair. 'I'm afraid I'm
very tired,'she whispered. 'It's difficult for me to stay awake. But as
soon as I'm stronger, promise me that you will come and visit.' Anne
wondered again if the overdose had been an accident. There was a cert9in
wistfulness about the Contessa. 'When I was a young girl,' Anne said, 'I
was terrified of dying. I had terrible dreams and night-time 58 59
fears. But now that I am older I know it takes more courage to live than
it does to die!'The Contessa nodded. Anne had never spoken like this to
anyone before and she didn't want to overstep the bounds of propriety.
'Whatever has happened to you, I'm glad you are recovering!' 'It's good
of you to say so,'Elena replied. This girl had more compassion than most
of the people she knew. She couldn't help herself and she started to
cry. 'It's all right!' Anne soothed, remembering how the Contessa had
been Yesterday, sweeping through the caA as if she owned it. 'IT let you
rest now, and come to see you later ... I hope you don't mind that I
told them we were related-'She wanted to explain finther, but the woman
was falling asleep, So she left the room and went to visit Brenda.
Chapter 7 60 Brenda was grateful to Anne for remaining in Pans. Her
accident had frightened her more than she would admit. R was horrible to
be a patient, even a temporary one. She lay in the noisy ward and stared
at the transomed windows, thinking of Elena Brisson with increasing
resentment. It depressed her to be bedridden, she'd already spent so
much tame in hospitals. But even after her headache subsided she
continued to feel depressed. The precious days of her European tour were
slipping by, and all because of some rich sickie. As much as , she
tried, she couldn't dredge up any sympathy for the woman. R was one
thing to be an addict in the ghetto, quite another to have a gold-plated
hypodermic. Anne spent the next few days at the hospital,   but she also
managed to take in a few museums. She even went back to the Cafd Deux
Magots and sat there alone, feeling self-conscious. The waiter
recognized her and was solicitous, enquiring after her friend. But still
she didn't feel comfortable. A woman alone wore an obvious sign: appnach
me. She studied her Michelin and avoided looking at the available men,
annoyed with herself for her shyness. She might look self-assured, but
it covered a tight insecurity. Out of the comer ofhereye she saw him the
minute he approached the cafe - Elena's connection, wearing a 61 new
outfit and his goldjewellery. She half smiled at him and at the same
time ducked down into her chair and out of sight. Her heart was
pounding. Dear Lord, he excited her! But how could he? He was a drug
pusher! He was responsible for Elena Brisson's overdose. And yet she
reacted to his presence.'She watched him eyeing the passing girls and
suddenly she realized she could identify him. She had seen him make a
drop. What if he recognized her'? What if he knew she'd seen him9 She
slumped finther down in her chair, glad to be invisible, not daring to
take more than a glance at him now and then. Once, he turned and stared
at her and she trembled, looking away, menaced by his confidence. His
handsome exterior covered an infestation of decay, and she knew it. Yet
her pulse would not subside. He did not recognize her! Finally when no
one interested him he turned and sauntered away. She sighed with relief
and a touch of disappointment, resisting an impulse to peer after him,
in case he turned and came back. He reminded her of Jeffrey, they shared
a look of selfimportance and a lack of interest in an ordinary woman.
And that's exactly what she was, ordinary, not the kind who could catch
their attention. Or anyone's. She sat sipping her coffee for a while,
waiting, but Elena's friend did not come back. It was late. She paid the
check and found a taxi to take her back to the hospital, wondering how
much longer Brenda would have to be there. Elena's rapid recovery
surprised everyone. Ironically, she improved more rapidly than Brenda.
But for all her bright appearance she was shaien by her brush with
death. She clung to Anne's visits with a selfish desperation. No matter
how much time Anne spent with her, it was never enough; she would have
liked Anne ver to leave the room. It was only Anne's encourage- 4 nt
that kept her going. No one had ever been so concerned about her before.
Everything about Anne put Elena at ease. Anne affected a kind of
respectful mixed with bravado that Elena found charmf mg. Especially
when Anne became officious and insisted that Elena follow all
instructions. Anne might be indignant about Elena's addiction, yet she
was sincerely compassionate about her situation. Elena was buoyed by
Anne's enthusiasm, but she had no answer, when Anne asked her, 'Why,
ElenaT Her self-searches uncovered only self-pity. She was thankful to
be alive only because someone cared. And when Anne wasn't there, Elena
felt she didn't deserve to live. 'I am so grateful to you, Anne. I
cannot tell you what you do for me.' 'Did you do it on purpose,
ContessaT 'No! It was an accident.' She inhaled sharply, remembering
that day, caught in her pain. Her supply had been low.. She'd been
shooting less to make it last longer until she connected. She had been
strung out. Only the heroin would help. That was all she had any more.
Gino had been horrible. Every day tore off more of the wasted cells of
her youth. Long ago she had given up her dreams. Even the brilliant
Brazilian Ivo Pitanguay who remoulded her body hadn't given her enough
youth to make a difference. The moment he saw her he recognized the
signs of addiction and refiLsed to take her as his patient unless she
quit. She went through the tortures of withdrawal to be a candidate for
his surgery, to regain herself. He had promised her wonders. During the
recovery she held on, waiting for the transformation. But the smoother
skin was a terrible disappointment. She looked better but she hadn't
felt any different. She wanted to scream at him, to strangle him, 62 63
but he was in Brazil and she was in France. Three 'months later she had
been hooked again. Now she was off drugs without having planned it and
Anne's devotion was giving her determination. I will stay in the
hospital for a complete detoxification, she thought. This time it will
work. I will not go back to the blackness. But the fear of death hung
over her. Anne would reach out and touch her arm. showing her
understanding that pain and suffering knew no bounds or limits of
wealth. And Elena would clutch the smooth hand, squeezing its youthful
pads in her own dieted palm. Ifou are a dear girl,'she'd said. And
whenever Anne couldn't be with her, Elena longed for Alessandro to come
back from Rome to sit with her. He was the only one she could tolerate
when she was down. What a dear man he was, and how she hated herself for
using him the way she did. But he was so chivalrous and easy to 'use. It
was wrong of her to invite him only to her lesser functions, but he made
everyone of substance uncomfortable. He was              so unlucky,
though he'd had many chances to make good. She couldn't even remember
half the businesses he'd been involved in. But he was a good influence
on Carlo. Even at thirty-two, Carlo could be such a baby. It wouldn't do
her any good to think about Carlo, now, she decided. She only hoped he
wouldn't find out about this latestaccident'of hers. Dear Lord, she felt
old. She .hadn't known what to do when she had begun to age. She had
thought it would never happen to her, she wouldn't let it! And then she
became forty-five, and then forty-nine, and she couldn't face the mirror
any more and she couldift stand to be a puffed-up, tightly drawn image
of her former self. Life seemed to fall apart then; 64 aybe it had been
happening all along and she hadn't She'd been married to Paolo for so
many years: had always been a comfort to her. He had an average
intelligence, but he was beautdW, and his title and Ins money enabled
her to do what she did best, socialize. But Paolo had an Italian ego and
sense of values. Over the years he had sw6veral mistresses and many
lovers, some of whom she knew. Only when she turned forty-five and his
girlfriends were twenty-five, did she begin to mind. She had been in
love once herself, really in love, with an American army officer. But he
went home to his wife in Ohio and she went back to Paolo. At fifty she
had begun to find young men attractive, fiercely so, and Paolo was no
longer appealing to her. They had lived a life of social encounters not
even broken any more by an occasional intimacy; both survived the death
of their relationship and accepted it for their son Carlo's sake until
Paolo had discovered her in bed with a young prostitute she had picked
up in the Piazza Navona. The girl was only sixteen, so delicate. Elena
had never thought of making love to a woman before. It had simply
happened. The girl's appeal was something more than sexual. It was a
desperate grasp at life. A recapturing of her own lost youth. But Paolo
had been compromised beyond the point of no return. His ego was damaged
and he was horrified by his wife's choice of a lover. He'd had no option
but to dissolve the marriage, no easy task for a Catholic. Elena was
shocked to reality by the turn of events. She hadn't wanted this, hadnI
expected it, and became repelled by her own behaviour. For a while after
the divorce she wouldn't get out of bed. When she finally did, it was to
turn the tables and denounce Paolo as a cheat and an adulterer. Her
friends gathered around 65 her, thrilled to be privy to Elena's
near-fatal mistake. Speculation was rampant, but no one could actually
find out anything. Eventually it died down and she and Paolo retained
much the same relationship they'd always had, in separate houses. Then
she met Gino. He was compelling and brutal. She told him about the girl
and he used it against her, threatened her with it, taunted her with it,
excited her with it. He took her rebuilt facade and whatever was left of
her self-respect and stripped her bare, leaving her battered and
addicted. She was deathly afraid of him. But after this overdose, she
would never see Gino again. Even if she went back on drugs she would
find another source. He may have tried to kill her! He should never have
given her such pure stuff, unless he hadn't checked his own powder.
Thank God he hadn't tried to contact her in the hospital. If he ever
showed up at the Ala again, she'd call the police. It might be the only
brave thing she'd ever do! She could just hear him: 'You'll regret this,
Elena,' he'd shout, as they escorted him off the grounds. Yes, she would
regret it. She already did. But now there was something she regretted
even more. Anne was actually leaving! The doctor discharged Brenda and
the girls stopped in to say goodbye. Even Brenda made an effort to be
civil. Her resentment of Elena had cooled somewhat because of Anne's
propaganda. Elena tried to fortify herself against Anne's departure, but
her panic was just under the surface. She smiled shakily. 'Well, where
are you off to?' 'We're meeting our tour group in Venice,' Brenda said.
'Well have to see the wine country and the French Riviera another time.'
The tears in Elena's eyes were not for their lost tour, 66 :.but for the
loss of Anne. 'Oh, you have missed this wonderfid country because of me.
How terrible.' Terrible,'Brenda agreed, put off by what she saw as
ElezWs fake pathos. Elena caught the annoyance. 'You will not see st
Tropez, or the villas in the South or Aix-en-Provence. They weren't on
our fist, Elena,'Anne assured her. 'No, weve only missed a wine-tasting
tour of the French version of Brookside Wineries and a trip around
Cannes and Nice. So don't fret about it, and feel better real soon.'
Brenda's sarcasm bit. 'Come on, Anne,' she said, tugging on her purse.
It did no good to bemoan their loss. Srenda,'Anne hissed, 'there's no
need to be rude.' Tin not being rude,' Brenda said sweetly. 'I haven't
any hostility towards her!'Just because she cracked my head open, Brenda
thought. , but of course you do, Brenda, and I do not blame you in the
least.' Elena was on familiar ground with Brenda's kind of anger and
jealousy. Her need for Anne's support overshadowed her pride. 'My, your
English is excellent when you want it to be!' Brenda observed, wondering
how Anne could be taken in by such a phoney. Elena was not the poor
unfortunate Anne had painted her to be.. Elena couldn't let them go. She
smiled bravely      ' 'I have a wonderful idea. When you have completed
your tour, why don't you come and stay with me at my villa in Cap
Ferrat? Both of you,' she added. 'I shall delight in taking you to all
the enchanting villages in my neighbourhood. You might enjoy to see how
the other half fives.' Brenda was certain Elena didn't want her along.
And she wasn't interested in an introduction to the world of heroin
users. But Anne seemed to like the idea. 'I don't 67 .41' think we ought
to impose!' Brenda said, giving Anne a look. 'Oh, you wouldn't be,'Elena
insisted. 'How generous of you,' Anne exclaimed. The possibility of such
a visit thrilled her. 'Anne,' Brenda cautioned, 'don't forget that
Elena's friends and Elena's life are nothing like what you're used to!'
Elena got her meaning, and held her annoyance. Brenda could ruin
everything.1 assure you that no one I associate with is in my
situation.' She turned to Anne, trying to keep the desperation out of
her voice. 'I ... will be better soon.' 'Of course you will,'Anne
assured her. 'Brenda didn't mean anything...' Elena continued. 'I am on
a programme here, you know. If I have your visit to look forward to it
would help me so much. I would be inspired to get well. Is it possible
for you to stay on an extra week or two and visit with me? I must be
allowed to do something to repay you.' Anne looked at Brenda
expectantly. 'I don't have to return for any particular reason. There's
no one waiting for me. How about youT Brenda shrugged Anne was not her
personal property. 'I have to be back in New York on the sixteenth, but
you don't need me. You can go on your own, when you've finished with the
tour in Greece.' They both waited for Anne's decision. Anne smiled at
Elena. Her villa in the South of France! She didn't dream of saying no.
I would love to come and be with you.' 'That's wonderfid,' Elena said,
and wrote down her address on a slip of paper. She was relieved. 'I
shall expect you in Nice on the fourteenth of August. Wire me what
flight you will be on and I'll have the car meet you. 68 You can fly Air
France from Athens to Nice in three hours or so.' Anne nodded and took
the paper. Take care of yourself now,' she said, 'and good luck with
your cure.' She embraced Elena, who returned her show of affection in
spite of Brenda's raised eyebrow. Only a few weeks to go until I have
her back again, Elena thought. I can make it until then. 'Venice is more
beautiful than I ever imagined!Brenda said as their water taxi pulled up
to St Marks Square. But for the first time in her life Anne began to
realize what middle class meant. The realities of the economy tour with
its ordinary travellers were a bleak contrast to the life Elena
represented, even with her misery. The two touring couples fi-om
Scotland, wives with make-up, husbands with jewellery, seemed different
from the rest. The more Anne noticed their clothes and thew style the
more they appealed to her. Not their characters necessarily, but the
overall effect. The two couples kept to themselves and only toured on
the bus during the day. They spent the  time shopping in the best stores
and dining in the best restaurants, often in formal dress. Anne hadn't
even brought any evening clothes. In London she had heard them talking
about the gambling losses; and she knew they had dined in private clubs;
in Paris they had been to Regine's and New Jimmy's. Brenda told her how
exclusive those places were. Anne wondered how Brenda knew so much about
status symbols. Brenda's sense of style was quite subtle, understated.
Her clothes were mostly beige or brown. She wore expensive leather shoes
and, though she carried a plain tan leather purse, her passport holder
was Lows Vuitton, winch she pulled out only when it 69 counted. She was
unobtrusive in her use of the Michelin and always knew how to ferret out
the newest accessories in small unpretentious boutiques. Anne's
discontent with herself grew in proportion to her exposure to the other
life. And now her images were specific. Wanting to be different was no
longer some vague feeling. She could point to them and say, 'I want to
be like that.' The tour group rode in horse-drawn carriages clopping
along the streets-of the Lido, while Mrs Whiteside's supercilious, nasal
twang echoed out of her megaphone, describing the architecture, telling
stories of people who had lived there, dropping names like Dante, Mann
and Shakespeare. It annoyed Anne when Mrs Whiteside pointed to Don
Juan's home without so much as a drum roll or a fanfare. The woman had
no romance in her soul, while Anne was filled with the gloriousness of
the day. Soft air caressed her skin, fanned by the movement of the
carriage; the sunlight laced through hugejacaranda trees. Families
walked in groups along the tree-shaded sidewalk, three generations, each
carrying beach paraphernalia. Vendors sold gelatt on the comers, and
cafes overflowed with groups of people enjoying leisurely midday meals
under Rossi and Cmzano umbrellas. And there was the Adriatic, spread out
before them      , calm and green. The perfume of tuberoses and orange
blossoms misted the warm air, while hibiscus grew around wrought-iron
gates surrounding flower gardens. Anne sighed with pleasure, caught in
the peacefulness of an opulent world. Every pore drew in the
environment. They passed the Excelsior Palace Hotel, an enormous
spiralled pink castle, nestled among green mossy trees and weeping
willows. Flowers and topiaries lined the huge marble verandas, carved
railings separated large 70 expanses of grass, and striped awnings
covered the walkways. Along the beach, grouped in a large semicircle,
were rows of white canvas cabanas shining in the sun, topped by round
glass domes, Each one befitted a separate sheikh; each cabana hid, Anne
was certain, Valentino on a bed of pillows, nubians fanning with peacock
feathers, and exotic women undulating to music wafting through incensed
air. In front of the cabanas men and bikini-dad women lounged on chaises
in the sun, while others sat in beach chairs, baking behind their Dior
sunglasses. She glanced at Brenda's wistful smile. 'You feel it too,
don't youT Brenda nodded.'I've always been a romantic at heart. But my
practical side says that forty dollars a day for a cabana to he in the
sun is a lot of money and there's more museum and buildings to see, and
my skin burns easily and, what the hell-2 Exasperation hung in the air.
'What good does it do to press your nose against the window of a candy
store, expecting the owner to give you a fi-ee bagful? No way!' The
glimpse of heaven had also ruined Anne's day. The beauty of the place
was marred by its unattainability. How can I have it? she wondered. What
are the initiation fees into that club? She was surprised at herself,
even embarrassed. She had always been impervious to the charms of that
other life. And now her throat tightened at the thought of it. 71
Chapter 8 All the way from Venice to Rome, Anne kept her nose pressed
against that candy-store window. Even in Florence the contrasts were
obvious on each stop of the tour. Every monument    was next door to an
expensive boutique. Every museum had once been a palace or a castle. The
other life was all around her. The tour bus lumbered past fields of
mushroomshaped trees, forms of cypress peculiar to Italy. Trees and
ruins, evidence of decayed opulence, and glories of ancient civilization
didn't make her grateful to be modern, only enhanced her new-found,
desire for wealth and position. The tour group ate in tourist cafes,
while across the piazzas Anne watched.others dine in elegant
restaurants, envy bubbling inside her. Their first night in Rome Anne
couldn't sleep Thoughts of her life in California, of faures, of new
desires, and of Rome and its unkept. promise. spun round and round.
After Rome came Greece and then the tour would be over. She would go on
to Elena's villa in France for two weeks, and then what? None of her
problems were solved. She hadn't changed at all. What have I learned?
she thought. To pay a taxi driver in a foreign currency, to quote any
number of travel guides. I know the Uffin and the Murano glass factory
and the Louvre, but I dont know why Jeffrey stopped loving me. She
thought about holding Jeffrey, making love to 73    - him. Her body
ached to be held by someone. She saw faces of other men. The two
husbands from Scotland, the handsome Italian who'd made the drop at the
Deux Magots - even the nineteen-year-old Buckley Whiteside. And there
were two lesbians in the group, Terry and Marion. They were nice when
you got to know them, but they kept to themselves. Still there was a
fascination about them. She wondered what they did when they made love.
She remembered her mouth on Elena's, breathing into her. I could never
do it with a woman, she thought. She became aware of a noise, a steady
movement from Brenda's bed. It had been going on for a while but she
hadn't noticed before. Back and forth, back and forth, a scratching
sound, like rubbing. Brenda's breathing was audible. It heightened as
Anne listened. Something stopped her fi-orn calling Brenda s name,
arrested the question in her throat, 'What are you doing?' The rubbing
sound continued firmer, limb against sheet.' She looked over at Brenda.
Her body was barely outlined in the dark, knees up, raising the covers
into a tent. Brenda inhaled sharp jerky bursts of ear, and then exhaled
in a deep sigh. The bed was totally quiet. Brenda reached over to the
bedside table and took a Kleenex. She put her hand under the covers and
wiped herself. Anne's face burned and tears ran down the side of her
face. She was consumed by embarrassment - how could Brenda be that
uninhibited? She was revolted by the whole idea. But why should I feel
revulsion? she wondered. I'm not a child. Brenda's not a child. She
hated herself for her embarrassment and for her prudishness. Maybe Jeff
had been right - she was just an uptight, unsexy, unreceptive woman.

She lay there for several minutes, trying to sort out her thoughts,
feeling an odd tingling in her body- And carefully, timidly, she slid
her hand down her chest, resting it lightly between her legs, finding
the touch of her own fingers almost too exquisite to bear. The taxi
driver let them out on a deserted street in the middle of the block and
pointed to an open archway. They had been driving up and down old narrow
Roman streets for fifteen minutes, trying to find this place. Their
excitement was high. They were going to have a good time tonight.

The street was dark except for a ring of light above the archway. A
brass plaque on the wall said: cLuB VOODW. They went inside and down the
stairs. The music grew louder as they descended. Purple lights lit their
way. African hieroglyphs lined the walls in fluorescent colours. The
hand railing was simulated animal bones.

Brenda glanced around. It looks like there's been a fire sale on tank
watches at Cartier,'she shouted. The club was crowded. Pulsing noise -
only sounds until you tried to talk above it. They paid the cover charge
and were left to find a spot for themselves among the overflowing
banquettes and tiny tables. Groups of girls sat expectantly, sipping and
smoking. Dancers intertwined and uncoiled, hips thrust, arms raised,
vacant expressions that transmitted ego, ego. They found a comer where
someone was not using the table at the moment and ordered two drinks,
shoutirig into the waitress's ear. Brenda loved it! She was at home,
moving to the beat of Smokey Robinson. She danced on the sidelines in
movements exactly like those of the other dancers. Universal language.
She moved on to the floor with a 74 75 nearby man, dark-skinned and
moustached. Their arms moved in a back stroke, heads thrust forward,
nodding to the music, their mouths forming the words to the songI Heard
It Through the Grapevine.          and they smiled at their mutual
involvement. Eventually they returned to the comer table where Anne sat,
wiping their necks and their brows, fanning their flushed faces. The
man, Nicky, had a friend, Larry Conley from Oklahoma. Larry asked Anne
if she would like another drink. She nodded. She had finished her first
gimlet quickly. The second had all the vodka on the top. She watched the
green hme mix with it, sweet and sour. Larry was in retail menswear. He
came to Italy regularly, usually to Milan to buy for his stores. But now
he was here on vacation visiting with friends. Oklahomans wore lots of
Italian knits. The music was slow now, Diana Ross. This place only plays
American musicT Anne asked in his ear as they danced. He held her
tightly. They perspired against each other though the air conditioning
was chilly. voodoo masks, fluorescent faces leered from the walls. The
ceiling was covered in a straw dome, like the inside of a chieftain's
hut. Purple velvet covered the side sofas. Pillows in prints and horn
pedestal tables were scattered here and there. Occasionally a spear and
drum caught the light, an dover the bar a skeleton was suspended in a
reclining position, arm jauntily supporting his head as he grinned at
the dancers. Larry was shorter than she with wide shoulders and sandy
blond hair, Italian sports shut and French slacks. Brenda raised an
approving eyebrow at Anne' over Nicky's shoulder. Nicky was wearing
jeans. With all the available girls around they were lucky to find two
presentable men. 76 I I Larry danced well, holding her back firmly, not
put ",,off by her height. She decided she liked him. His cologne was
pleasant. Jeff never wore cologne. Jeff danced slowly, ploddingly, not
like this high stepper from Oklahoma. They had another drink. She told
him she was divorced. He said he was too. He talked about his three
boys. His home in Willow Creek. He pronounced itWila Crik'. His ex-wife
Patty had opened a needlepoint shop in the same shopping centre where he
had one of his stores. He liked his ex-wife but she was dating his best
friend. He'd got divorced because he wanted to be single. He travelled a
lot and worked for the Democratic Party. He supported Fred Harris who
was a real leader and a good friend. He pronounced it 'gud fi,eeund'. He
ordered two more. Anne's limit was always two drinks. They danced a few
more times. The girls without partners eyed them warily. Brenda and
Nicky were very cozy on the dance floor and in the booth. Brenda leaned
over and said to Anne, 'We're going to his place. You can use Larry's
if you want, or else Larry will take you to our hotel. 11 knock before I
come in. OKTAnd she left. Anne couldn't believe it. Brenda got up and
walked out with Nicky, leaving her alone with Larry. She was on her own
and shaking. How could she get out of this without embarrassing herself
and him.9 He paid the check. What had Brenda told them, that she was
part of an arrangement9 She didn't know this man at all. What if he hurt
her, or killed her? They would find her body floating somewhere in the
Tiber. Larry helped her to her feet. The drinks had made 77 her a little
drunk.  She didn't realize it until she stood up. The stairs didn't
offer any resistance. There were several cabs outside. He approached the
first one and hesitated. 'I have to meet someone for a drink, for
business. HOW'd You like to come with me He saw her reluctance.
"I'lltake ya home if ya want, but it's a nice place, really!' It was
silly of her to be so tightened. He seemed sincere and harmless, at
least for the moment. She agreed and got into the cab.

The club he took her to was nice! A polished brass sign on the outside
of the building was engraved with the words, LEGATUM DI ROMA, PIUVATE.
It was completely different from the disco where theyd met. Legatum ch
Roma had a sleek and modem interior in contrast to its antique stone and
marble facade. As they passed through the two-storey entry, Anne noticed
charcoalgrey carpets and leather banquettes in the first-floor
discotheque. A small velvet-upholstered elevator with smoked mirrors and
gilt mouldings carried them to the dining-room, which was decorated with
eighteenthcentury frirniture. Inlaid marble walls and Corinthian columns
served as a background for a raised dais where a twenty piece stririg
orchestra played dinner music. All the dinner guests wore formal clothes
and Anne had never seen such jewenery. The place dripped with opulence;
just to be here was a thrill, she thought, and a delighted smile played
on her lips. She was finally a guest, not a spectator. She turned to
Larry, who was following closely behind her, and tried to communicate
her pleasure. He smiled back at 'her, seeming quite at ease here. Not
one of the many guests raised his head as the mattre, d' led them
through the dining-room. Anne began to feel distinctly out of place 78
with her blue Banlon dress and was relieved to reach the table, set for
eight but with only three men occupying it. It was obvious from the
empty seats next to them that their dates were somewhere else probably
in the ladies' room. The men stood as she approached and Larry made the
introductions. Two of themmere in their sixties, neither one attractive,
and Anne barely heard their names. The third man was tall and slender
and he was wearing a navy doublebreasted jacket with a tangerine silk
handkerchief in the breast pocket. He looked familiar. 'Alex Massini,'
Larry drawled as she shook hands with him. He came around the table to
escort her to a chair next to him. 'I can see that you dont remember me,
signorina.'He smiled. And suddenly she did remember him. He was Elena's
cousin, whom she had met in the hospital in Paris. Now she was even more
conscious of the way she was dressed. 'You two know each other?'Larry
was amazed.Well, I'll be damned!' 'We met only once, in Paris,'
Alessandro replied. Mrs Scott was a great help to a member of my
family.' Larry preened with pleasure. What luck to pick up a girl who
might do him some good i his dealings with Massini. Not that he didn't
have the upper hand: Massini probably needed him more than he let on.
Hell, they needed each other. 'Signorina, you promised to tell me the
moment you arrived in Rome!'Alessandro said. 'We're only here for a few
days,' Anne said, 'and I didn't want to bother you., 'It is no bother, I
assure you. Are you enjoying RomeT he asked, and she nodded. 'And have
you been to Ostia? Its the one place I recommend without 79 reservation,
and yet so many travellers to our city pass it by.' 'We go there
tomorrow,'she answered.

A waiter came by and Larry ordered her another vodka gimlet. The two
Italian businessmen excused themselves and bade Alessandro a warm
goodbye. 'Alex is in the same business as me,' Larry explained. 'But I'm
tryin' to convince him to go into mass produce. I can sell him big in
Oklahoma City. That town is cryin'for the Eyetalian look.' 'Ali, Larry,
we should not bore this lovely lady with talk of business.' It was
obvious that Alessandro Massmi did not like to do business on social
occasions. But Larry didn't seem to notice. Business was something he
discussed no matter where he was.

She touched Alessandro's arm. 'Really, I don't mind.' 'There's no money
in custom clothes, Alex,' Larry insisted. 'You gotta diversify, expand
your factry, send me orders! rH sell 'em! We could be partners, you
manufacture and IM do the rest!' Larry put a possessive arm around
Anne's shoulder.  'Would you be willing to invest any capitalT
Alessandro asked quietly. 'Hell, you don1 need my money, you're rollin'
in it. Besides, I got restrictions. My government discourages us folks
from spendin' our profits abroad. But if we do make a deal, you gotta
send me knits. That's what they want back home.' He enlisted Anne's
corroboration with a dip of his head. She had no idea what they wanted
in Oklahoma, but she had heard that Italian knits were popular, though
not particularly stylish. From Alessandro's expression, he thought so
too; his distaste for Larry's preference was evident. 'Why should guys
like Car-dan and Saint Laurent 80 make all the Profits? Theyve got
menswear 80 sewn up  a joke. But I tell you, there's a market for the
other stuff I know half a down stores I deal with that can't sell the
Car-dan look.'Larry nodded his head wisely- Anne finished her gimlet and
another one was brought to her. She had stopped counting long ago and
sipped this one, enjoying the company of two such attractive men. , 'You
know the cost of wool has doubled recently,' Larry continued, land
synthetics are even worse, So cheaper labour has got to be the answer. I
know a few companies who got fact'ries in Yugoslavia. One's Makin,
raincoats, and the other's makin'suede jackets. They make a good
product, but not like the Eyetalian stylin'. Now that's sharp!' Anne
stifled a yawn, which Alessandro was quick to notice. 'I'm sorry for
keeping you both here with me,' he said. 'I've enjoyed our conversation
so much, but I'm afraid I must go now.' Larry was a bit startled by the
change in conversation until he realized that Alessandro was hinting for
him to take Anne home. 'Oh sure,' he said, rising along with
AlessandroThey both reached to help Anne, who discovered she was quite
unsteady on her feet. How much had she drunk? she wondered. It was Larry
who put a steadying arm around her, while Alessandro remained discreetly
apart. 'I have a wonderful idea,' Alessandro said. 'I should like both
of YOU to have lunch with me tomorrow.' 'Fine with me,'Larry said before
Anne could answer. She turned her head too quickly towards Alessandro
and the room swam; she almost fell, but reached out and clutched the
table to catch herself. Oh, how awful, 81 she thought. How did I let
this happen? She smiled in the general direction of Alessandro. 'I'm
afraid I won't be back from Ostia in time for lunch.' Her stomach felt
so funny she might never be hungry again. 'And I don't want to miss the
catacombs.' . 'But they are in the opposite direction from Ostia,'he
said. 'Oh!' 'But don't worry. Join us for lunch, I will take you to the
catacombs myself.' 'Where should we meet?"  Larry asked. Alessandro
hesitated for a moment. 'I know a perfect place. It's a fitvourite
tourist restaurant, but the owners are friends of mine and their chef
can be extraordinary when he wants to be. It's called Meo Petacca.' He
reached into his jacket and wrote the name on two of his cards, handing
one to each of them. 'The restaurant is near the river, and Id suggest
that you hire a horse and carriage at the Piazza d'Espagna to take you
there. it's a lovely ride.' His enthusiasm was contagious and Anne
smiled back, promising to join him tomorrow as soon as she returned from
the tour.

She liked the idea of being escorted to the catacombs by Alessandro. The
two couples from Scotland would certainly be impressed. And then she and
Larry were in a tam and she found her head on his shoulder. It had been
a long time since a man had his arm around her. He moved his hand up and
down her arm and kissed the top of her head, breathing warm air into her
hair. She was grateful to him for showing her such a good time, but now
she just wanted to get back to her hotel without any fuss, without the
embarrassment of refusing a proposition. The best way was not to give
him any reason to hope. She tried to puff away, but he held her tightly.
82 j drop you at your hotel first,' he said, 'and hold tbeeab till I see
you in. Ira hard to get a cab this tame of night.$ Anne sighed with
relief. He did have nice Southern manners- I He reached down to lift up
her chin. She knew the kiss was coming, smelled his breath, thought her
own must reek, and kissed him back. It felt good. She was safe after
all. He was taking her home. He leaned her back on the seat. The taxi
turned a comer and they slid down a bit. She remembered kissing Jeffrey
in a car. Larry ran his hand along her thigh, kissing her more, thickly.
He was different from Jeff His size was different and his smell was
different. Her back was pressed against the armrest on the door. The
liquor made his every touch, every advance seem less than it was and
more than it was. She didn't care about protecting herself as she
usually did. She felt soft, warm, and accepting. Everything blended into
one kiss: his body, his hands, his chest against hers- He put his hand
inside her dress and under her bra, cupping her breast. His hand was
warm and somehow comforting. She sighed with pleasure. At last something
is happening to me, she thought. At the hotel he took her to her room.
The hallway was not carpeted and the floorboards creaked. Two sets of
guilty footsteps in an Italian hotel. He opened her door and stood
there. Wasn't he leaving? 'Your taxi's waiting!' But so were the twin
beds. He leaned over to kiss her and she turned her head. sideways to
accommodate him, knowing that it was a gesture of acquiescence. But she
felt like a young girl again. His mouth on hers did not arouse now. But
she felt him hard against her thigh and pulled her hips 83

back as he ran his hands up and down her back, bringing her to him,
moving her body against his. She wanted to stop, but it was too
difficult to resist. Might as well get it over with, his taxi was
waiting. He unzipped her dress and pushed it off her shoulders. It fell
to the floor. He pulled off her slip and unhooked her bra. Then with one
swift, surprisingly adept move he fi-eed her body of the bra. She
shivered and stood waiting in her underpants with her scarf around her
neck while he undressed. He stepped out of his pants and left his shorts
on, reaching for her, kissing her neck, touching her arms and back and
waist. He took the scarf from around her neck and bent to kiss her bare
chest and her stomach. She looked at the top of his head, feeling
nothing but his arms around her waist and his mouth at the top of her
panties. She stepped back out of reach and pulled down the covers. The
move was daring and deliberate; it did more to excite her than all his
movements. She climbed under the covers and removed her panties. He took
off his shorts and got in beside'lier, grabbing her immediately - no
subtlety, no build-up, she had had that part already. He was hard
against her thigh and bigger than she imagined. Or was it just that it
had been such a long time There was the familiar movement of leg over
leg, of penis pressing insistently against vagina, the softness of her
insides, compliantly opening as he thrust into her. God, he was big! He
pulled back, little moves to wet himself, and in again. Relax, Anne,
relax, she told herself as he kissed her mouth. She enjoyed the feeling
of his back, smooth and rippled. I'm having an affhir, she thought, and
waited for his build-up to begin, glad he was wearing protection. He
moved in and out of her, kissing her face and her 84 shoulder, her ear,
pulling back to look at her. She kept her eyes closed, her face averted.
He lifted her legs up high and she gasped as he penetrated deeper. It
was all so different! She didn't like him watching berl She reached up
and pulled him down 80 he would stop looking at her. What is he waiting
for9 she thought. 'Tell me what you want,, he said. Tihat do you like?'
She held him close so he wouldn't look at her- 'What makes you come9 Her
eyes shot open and she swallowed. The bed was too small to roll over,
though he kept trying to do it. Tell me,'he asked her. 'Anything you
do,'she finally whispered, hoping that was enough, as he began thrusting
into her again and again. She moaned softly in his ear - JefflWs ear -
and moved her hips in agreement. His body was soon Covered with sweat.
She could hear the embarrassing sound of sucking where their bellies
slapped together. She wished it were over. What was taking so long? If
they could only stop! He grabbed her breast in his mouth and sucked on
it, missing the nipple, getting the side. He was hard, and hard pressed
to perform. She didn't know what to do, how to help him. He kept going
and going, trying it faster and then slower, lifting her legs, and putting them down. He leaned back, his hips pumping furiously, his breath
coming in gasps and his brow dripping with perspiration, and he said,
'I'm sorry!'but he didn't stop. He continued pumping, falling back on
her, sweating into her pillow, until she couldn't relax any more, until
she wanted to cry with the shame of it, the disappointment, the raw
hurt, the soreness inside. Still she allowed lum to continue. She
endured this 85 onslaught for what seemed forever, until he became aware
that his time was up, that she was rigid beneath him, that she had
stopped moaning and moving and welcoming him. He tensed all over,
clenching his muscles above her. Then, mildly, after all that effort, he
vibrated into her and then lay there exhausted. Thank God it's over, she
thought. As he got dressed to leave, he said, 'I guess I identified you
with my wife. It was hard for her to have orgasms, too., 'It's all
right,' she said, but it wasn't and they both knew it. He kept Ins eyes
on the floor. 'About tomorrow. I don't think I can make it. You tell
Alessandro IT be in touch, OK? An'you be sure to look me up if you're
ever in Oklahoma, hearT It wasn't until he was gone that she realized
she would have to call Alessandro in the morning and break the date. The
thoughtof Alessandro with his kind gentleness in contrast to the
grossness of Larry filled her with sadness. Her control broke and she
started to cry, sobbing with an anguish she thought had ended long ago.
She was tormented by her ineffectuality and she touched herself gently,
finding the soreness and the ache were inside as well as out. I will
never be used like that again, she vowed. And finally she fell asleep.
Chapter 9 86 Alessandro sat calnily in the waiting-room, one black pant
leg crossed over the other, his white linen jacket over a black silk
shirt open at the throat. He had decided against wearing a tie today,
hoping that the casual look of the open collar would give him an air of
confidence. He smiled at the secretary, appearing unconcerned, but it
cost him great effort. Last nights dinner was pleasant enough, but
through the entire evening Enzo had said nothing definitive about the
loan. He was too polite to bring it up himself, though he had been
sorely tempted. It had been a strange night of sore temptations. First
Lal kept putting her hand on his thigh, and then Larry turned up with
Anne Scott. He found Anne appealing; she had an inner strength and an
outward fragility, very feminine, but since Larry had brought her, he
stayed his distance. And then Larry had called this morning to tell him
about taking her to bed. How tasteless these Americans could be, he
thought. It was none of his business what Larry did with his girls, or
what they did for him. Anne especially. He felt a responsibility towards
Anne; she had been wonderful to Elena in Paris. Since Larry wasn't
coming to lunch he had expected Anne to cancel their date too, but when
he left the house at 10.30 she hadn't called, so perhaps she would be
there after all. I shall have a special nosegay sent to the 87 'd,
restaurant for her, he thought. She might need some cheering up.

The office door opened, interrupting his thoughts, and Enzo stood there,
his usual stern expression unchanged by green-tinted glasses. He came
forward and embraced Alessandro cordially, leading him into the office.
'Thank you again for last night,' he began, 'though I've had a terrible
morning. Indigestion the moment I awoke. Perhaps it was something I ate
at the club.' Alessandro felt a cold chill down his back. Enzo was a
notorious complainer about his gastronomical condition, but to blame his
upset on the food at Ugaturn di Roma where the cuisine was superb meant
he had bad news. 'Sit down, Alex,' he said, indicating the maroon
leather chair facing his desk. He perched on the front of the desk where
he would be in a position of height, forcing Alessandro to look up at
him. Alessandro realized he had been out maneuvred. Enzo reached across
the desk to pick up a  memo and turned back to Alessandro. 'How long
have we known each other The asked.Too many years! I remember you when
you were a. young boy right after the war, idealistic, and so full of
purpose. You and I have been involved many times in each other's
successes and failures.'Alessandro leaned forward to get up out of the
chair, but Enzo held up his hands.No, no, let me finish.' Alessandro sat
back, a fixed smile on his face. 'AD those deals, AlexF His tone was
patronizing. I remember the Egyptian oil search we financed for you.
Nothing ever came of that one. And the export car franchise in England?
And then there was the art gallery back in the sixfies. Where does the
tune goT He shook his head. 'And then we didn't see you for a while, you
took your business elsewhere for those 88 other ventures. What were
they9' He didn!t wait for, Alessandro to answer. Vell, no matter. The
point is that in a business community such as ours that is so closely
knit, you are a poor risk. I'm sorry to have to be so blunt, but it's
the truth.'He closed his mouth firmly, shaking his jowly face like a
bowl full of madrilene. He didn't look sorry at all. Tve always made
good my losses, Enzo.' 13y borrowing from Peter to pay Paul The
intricacies of your financial manceuvrings are a lemon in cloriffision.9
'Enzo,'Alessandro, chided, forcing a lightness into his voice, 'don't
lecture me like a small schoolboy. I deserve better than that. Just tell
me yes or no.' Enzo smiled. 'All right, III be frank. The answer is no.
rin sorry, Alex, but your financial report cannot support another loan.
You have no collateral that isn't pledged in more than one instance. It
is interesting to me how none of my other colleagues have discovered
that. But it would be foolish to lend money to you under the
circumstances, especially in this inflated market.' iflation has nothing
to do with it. I must expand to meet the demands of my business. You can
see that it has the potential to grow.' I 'Your business isn't worth
anything on the loan market, Alex. And you're personally overextended,
so yoxed have trouble getting State insurance to cover you. The clothing
industry is one of the toughest businesses in the world. his the most
competitive, and its success is dependent, on so many uncontrollable
factors. But you're not even in the clothing business. You can hardly
glorify a custom tailor shop with the title "clothing manufactwer". And
you are naive to think you can establish yourself at your age.' 'Is
forty-two so old?'Alessandro asked. 89 'You're hardly a child, need I
remind you? And you're not Pucci or Fendi, or Valentino. Leave the
international markets to them, and to the Guccis and the Spagnolis, and
stick to your personal clientele. Believe me, you can't go wrong by
taking my advice.' 'But I would be unable to expand if I listen to you.'
'Be satisfied for once without taking a risk. Pay back some of your
other debts. You won't be able to find anyone to cover for you any more.
I happen to know that you've been everywhere for money or you wouldn't
have come to us, would you9 We were hardly your first choice!' 'Personal
preferences have nothing to do with business.' 'Yes, they do, my dear
Alex. I remember how hard you worked to save the Massnu estate and its
lands, and it was always my regret that we were made responsible for
assuming its ownership. But we were only acting in the government's
favour. Banco di Venezia has other considerations that are more
important than friendship. Which is why I'm talking to you- like this
today, as a friend. My best advice to you is to use your name. It has a
value if you sell it to an international company for a royalty. Let some
company capitalize on your image to promote their product. You could be
an international celebrity, and well remunerated. In fact, I have a
ftiend who manufactures farm-machinery products who would be most
interested in talking to you about it. This is the day of commercial
exploitation. Why not capitalize on it? It's not every fellow who can
boast of being the Duke di Valdagno.' Alessandro bristled. A peacock put
on display to sell tractors - never! He got out of his seat slowly,
adjusting his jacket, giving off an air of civility. But inside he was
seething. Enzo had committed an unforgivable breach 90 -,Of etiquette,
even to think that he would stoop so low. Tin not quite ready for that,
my dear Enzo, but I would endorse my own product, one with high quality.
A commodity with which I'm afraid you are unacquainted!' He turned and
walked to the door, thinking, Well, that is that. But with one hand on
the brass door-knob, he turned. I almost forgot. You do have one aspect
of quality in your life. Your lovely wife, Lisl. Please remember me to
her.' He closed the door softly behind him, satisfied that he had
increased the state of Enzols indigestion. It didn't hurt to remind Enzo
just who Usl had been in love with before she married him. And from her
behaviour last night, she still was. By the time he reached the street
he was sweating proffisely. All the tension of the meeting, all the rude
words prompted by Enzo's jealousy had upset him terribly. This was his
last attempt to get a loan and it had failed. He knew it would fail, but
he had defied his better judgement and allowed that man to belittle him.
Now his fierce pride had been damaged and he didn't know who he was
angrier at, himself or Enzo. Where could he turn? Perhaps to Larry,
though last evening Larry had not seemed disposed to offer any financial
aid. But there was no reason why he should. Alessandro had played the
gentleman's game with the American, picking up every tab. Larry had no
idea this spending was only a front. When one owes as much as I do, he
thought, it h"y pays to save on restaurant charges. He hailed a taxi and
told the driver to take him to Larry's hotel. Larry met ban in the bar
off the lobby. The men ordered Bloody Marys. 'What's up?'Larry asked.
'You look like you lost your best friend.' Alessandro's frown deepened.
'I'm sorry to come here 91 without an appointinent but rve just been to
my bank and the news isn't good. Apparently there has been a tightening
of money due to the fluctuation of the lira, and no one is granting any
loans.'He gestured with his hand. Terhaps they will loan to industries
of extreme need, but men's clothing does not fall into that category.'
'Well, rm sure that's only temporary!'Larry said. 'I don't think so.
Nothing is going to happen with this present government that will
bolster the lira. We both know that. And bank policies won't change.
They haven't changed in months. That's the reason I can't 90 into
business right now, I haven't the capital.' 'Gawd, why didn't you say
so!'Larry sat up. Thats no problem. I know guys who lend money all the
time! They're buddies o'mine. They-11 be glad to help you out,
especially when I tell them what a sure thing this is!' Alessandro
looked at him sceptically. 'It's not that easy. I tell you Ive tried.'
'Not with these guys you haven't. Look, you won't need much cash to
start with - ten, twenty thousand, whatever that is in lira - and I'll
give you a guaranteed sale for your first season, till you get your feet
wet. Heck, I buy more numbers for my stores than ten manufacturers can
supply. You've got a gol'mine, Alex. I saw retail prices in your store
on your handmade suits that I'm payin'wholesale for here and back home.
If you can duplicate those suits and sendem to me, we'll both clean up.
And anybody in the business of makin'loaris knows a good deal when they
see it. Theyll loan you money or they're crazy.' Alessandro stared at
him. He'd always known that being well connected was an advantage in
business, but Larry seemed to belong to a special club of private
backscratchers. He couldn't believe it was as easy as it 92 mded- 'I'd
like to meet your friends, Larry. Would be possibleT Larry sat up and
swung his legs over the side of his chair. 'I'll go call'ern right nowl'
'You mean they're here in Rome?' 'Sum. What did you think Ive been sayT
Alessandro sipped his drink while Larry went to the 'telephone. What if
there was a chance? Menswear was first business he'd ever tried in which
he felt comfortable and didn't question his right to be there. He had an
innate feeling for fabrics, for the cut of a coat, for the detailing
necessary to make it special. All his life he'd taken great pride in the
beautdW tailoring and quality of Italian goods. The Italian artisan was
the real aristocrat of the country and Alessandro was democratic enough
to want everyone, even the average man, to afford beatififid things. But
fine products were expensive. And he catered to an exclusive clientele,
mostly his personal friends, who came to him for their custom clothes. R
would be nice to broaden his business to provide good fabrics and finely
tailored clothes to retail. chains who could sell them to many people,
and spread his own brand of liberal aristocratic excellence even to the
masses. Larry came back, a broad smile on his face. 'It's all set. He'll
see us this afternoon.' And Alessandro smiled at him. Miank you so much,
Larry. It's very kind of you.' Larry sat back down. 'I told 'em all
about you, and they asked me to ask you one question - are you good for
the money?' 'Absolutely,'Alessandro said firmly. 'Then You're in! We're
supposed to meet at Harry's Bar at 4.30.' 93 ,d-,

This is an exercise in futility, Anne told herself as the taxi sat idling
in traffic. The hot afternoon sun beat in on her and she wanted to pound
on the seat of the car for making her later than she already was. What
will we talk about? she wondered, wiping her neck with a Kleenex. It was
a steamy day and even her shower hadn't refreshed her. She'd changed and
dressed in record time, but by the time she got into the taxi it was
nearly 2.30 - the bus had been late in returning from Ostia. When the
taxi finally deposited her in front of the restaurant the back of her
dress was sticking to her body and she was grateful for the slight
breeze. The restaurant was on a cobblestoned street in a typical
residential quarter, but it was a gay and festive addition to the area.
A wrought-iron fence, overgrown with bougainvillaea, surrounded a huge
outdoor garden. There were picnic like tables linked up in rows
underneath Japanese lanterns, and even at this hour the shaded patio was
crowded with luncheon guests- 'I'm here to meet Signore Massini,'she
told the maltre d', expecting him to scold her for being so late.
Alessandro had probably left hours ago. But when she saw him walking
towards her, hands outstretched and smiling, she was at ease at once. I
was certain you would come!' he said, taking her hand. Trom the way -you
cared for Elena, I knew you were a woman of integrity. Those tours can
be unpredictable!' i4 followed the maltre d'to a table inside the softly
lit restaurant and Anne relaxed. The cool air was redolent of pungent
cheese and sauces and she suddenly realized she was starving. sat in a
brick-enclosed alcove, hung with bottles and baskets of fi-esh grapes.
The maltre d' nded her an enormous parchment scroll with colourfui
calligraphy announcing the specialities of the house. essandro let her
study it for a while, but when she ",,glanced at him in confusion he
said, 'I've taken the liberty of ordering for us.' She was relieved by
his thoughtfidness and yet aware ,that they were really alone, on what
could be called a date. She wanted to enjoy it, but her memories of last
night still troubied her. She had worried all morning about getting
here, and now that she was here she didn't know why she had come. 'You
may keep the menu as a souvenir,' he said, tucking it inside the zipper
of her purse. She thanked him. 'Anne, there is something I would like to
say to you.' He looked uncomfortable, and she felt her shoulders
tighten. 'Larry and I are not close friends, though we have some
business dealings together. But I am relieved that he isn't here today.'
She looked surprised. 'Please don't get the impression that I would show
interest in the girl-friend of a friend. I merely wanted to repay you in
some small way for your kindness to my cousin.p 'That's not
necessary,she said, confusedby his words. What had Larry told him, that
she was his girl-friend? She felt on the verge of tears but somehow she
managed to control herself. 'Signore Massini, I want you to know that
Larry hasn't any claim on me.'She saw his expression. 'I did not enjoy
being with Larry ... I only met him last night. I've never... I was
married for ten years  ... and Larry is the first man ... besides my
husband   ... I've ever been with ... Being with him was 94 95 an
unpleasant reminder of my marriage ... Today I feel terribly guilty, and
used.' She spoke barely above a whisper. Alessandro's protective nature
was aroused. Larry had lied to him about her! A girl of her character
couldret be wild, she was too vulnerable and in- experienced. He longed
to take care of her. Signorina - Anne, if I knew you better I would give
yousome advice. But after the morning I've had, giving advice is as
unpleasant to me as receiving it.' She caught the note of futility in
his voice, and wanted to comfort him as he was comforting her.'Please go
ahead,'she said. I don't mind.' He hesitated for a moment, collecting
his thoughts. I'm not making anyjudgement, please understand.' She
nodded. 'When you are with Larry, or with anyone for that matter, and it
is something you have chosen to do, something you want to do, then no
matter how it turns out you have not been used. But if you allow someone
to ove  .   your wishes and you give yourself without making your
feelings or preferences known, then yes, you have been used.' Her
expression was solemn, thoughtffil. He could see he had struck a
responsive chord and he was womied about her reaction. That doesn't
diminish you,' he assured her. 'Unless you keep allowing it to happen.
Take your marriage as an example; although I am not familiar with the
circumstances, you may have allowed your husband to use you. But you
entered that situation by choice. Your husband was unique in your life.
In a marriage it is seldom clear which partner receives the greater
benefit because each of you retains certain advantages in a reciprocal
arrangement. But now you are not married, and you must recognize that
you are to make demands for yourself. Even more than are required. she
was visibly touched. Thank you for the advice,' he said. 'But why did
you assume it would be V.Opleasant.  'The waiter arrived with an hors
d'euvres cart and began serving them portions from the various
selections. Fish marinated in off and capers, eggplant diced vrith
tomatoes, garlic, and peppers, two kinds of pt6, atsorted bean salads in
wine vinegar, small pieces of pina bread, baked clams, cheeses, olives,
insalata, prosciutto, salamis, and this was only the antipasto.
Alessandro enjoyed her delight as she tasted the food. 'An old adversary
of mine gave me some advice tins morning for my own good and I'm still
fighting the urge to challenge him to a duel.' 'A duel?' He laughed.
'It's a complicated story, but it confwms my belief that some people
born of lowly origins are very jealous of those born to nobility, though
we may have nothing elm but our names. They mistake a noble name for a
noble motive, which are two entirely different matters. I have always
tried to combine the two, and live by a code of ethics. It often works
to my disadvantage, but I could not do otherwise. Being a success has
never meant enough to me to sacrifice my principles.' That is noble.'
'And often foolish. I find myself at this point in my life scavenging
for a living when I should be enjoying the fruits of twenty years of
effort. I'm not bitter, just discouraged.' He found it a relief to voice
his feelings, though he was surprised at his willingness to share them
with her. Perhaps it was her own candour in discussing her problems.
That, and the fact that they 96 97 knew no one in common. After today,
he would probably never see her again. He was sorry about that. She
aroused something in him he hadn't felt in a very long time. 'What did
you mean by a noble name?she asked. 'I am heir to the title of Duke di
Valdagno. My ancestors became members of the Venetian nobility in the
seventeenth century.' 'I thought one was born a nobleman,'she said.
'Well, in our case we bought the title when the Republic of Venice voted
to increase the number of noble families. YOU see, they needed to raise
revenues to fight a war with the Turks over the island of Crete. There
were very few times during the history of the country that aristocrats
were invited to join the nobility, and so my title is considered new,
though it is a few hundred years old.' Anne found it amusing that
anything dating from the mid-1600s could be considered new. 'Valdagno is
a small town nestled between Vicenza and Verona. And the name Massifti
was an old name even when my ancestor became the Duke. He was a
tenacious man, fought for causes and so did his descendants. The first
Duke distinguished himself in the war for Crete that went on for over
twenty-five years. The Doge Contarini was in power then. And our family
fought for the glory of Venice during a short campaign in 1715 when
Venice lost its possession of the Morea. Shortly after that, Venice was
conquered and was no longer a republic.' 'Tell me about Valdagno,'she
asked. And he smiled. 'The town is undistinguished by any famous
monuments, but it was my home. The countryside is beautiful there. Some
day perhaps you may see it., 'You don't live there any more?' 0', he
said, losing the touch of sentiment in his 'We lost our holdings and our
land during World War Two. Land which had been in our family for eleven
hundred years.' 'What happenedT He leaned forward. 'Of all the nations
who have controlled parts of our country - the Spanish, the French, the
Austrians - none have had so devastating an effect on us as did the
Germans under the Nan regime. I was a small boy at the time, but I
recall how it became suddenly unpopular to belong to a noble I.fiumly.
And even more than that, it was extremely unpopular to be sympathetic to
the plight of persecuted people- 'You see, to an Italian of noble birth,
no matter who rules the country one must always maintain one's
inheritance. That is vital! Over the centuries, however, our family
holdings had dwindled considerably and most of the family had died out.
If you recall, the economic conditions prior to the war were hardly
ideal, here as well as in your country.' She nodded, encouraging him to
continue. 'My father was an idealist, and he abhorred the Fascists as
well as the Nazis. As his own personal protest against them, he invited
a family of Austrian refugees to stay with us. And when he had managed
to smuggle them safely out of our district he found other, local Jewish
families who needed his help. At one tune we had five separate families
staying with us. The last family we harboured was from Modena, a
neighbouring city with a large Jewish population. The father's name was
Jacopo and the mother's name was Eva, wonderful people, full of laughter
and compassion, in spite of their fear of the Nazis. They never made
demands for 98 99 themselves, only tried to show their gratitude to my
father. They had four children. The oldest boy was just my age.' He
drained the last sip of wine from his glass and poured them each
another. 'Our town of Valdagno was smaller then than it is now. We
thought whatever we were doing was unimportant to the Germans, but we
were wrong. Nothing was unimportant to them if it meant they could bring
torture and death to innocent lives.'He sighed and looked away,
remembering how it had been. The fear and the anguish. Anne was struck
by the look on his face. 'Someone in the village must have reported my
father to an official,' he continued. 'Our feelings about the government
and its practices were not the commonly held view. Or perhaps it was
merely fate that sent a garrison of German troops to be quartered on our
land. The commandant was short and blond. He had thick lips and a
moustache - I remember because he kept running one finger over it as
though he enjoyed the sensation of touching it.' His voice tightened as
he described the man. 'He arrested my father and captured Jacopo and his
family. They were to be sent to a concentration camp. I remember not
knowing whom to be more frightened for, them or my father. Jacopo and
Eva and their children managed to escape from the local jail where the
authorities were not as stringent as the Germans. They were all killed
on the road right near our estate - machine-gunned. I remember "aro's
face, that was the eldest boy, when they earned him away. He looked at me
in death as if to say, "Why me, and not you?"'He shrugged.1 still don't
know the answer.' 'What happened after thatT Anne asked, nearly moved to
tears. 'The Germans confiscated our lands and kept my father in prison
for the remainder of the Occupation, in Re of our efforts to have him
released. He died shortly r the war. I don!t think he could stand to
live any longer in a world where honour had died.' Toor man!'she said,
reaching for his hand. 'I tried to regain our property, but it was
impossible for me to maintain.' He shook his head. 'There was nothing
left but -the land, and it hadn't been worked. The castle, too, was
destroyed by the Germans, and when the government finally granted me the
return of my lands, I couldn!t raise the money to work it. I still
needed to get my education, so I was forced to sell my inheritance for
whatever I could get. It was difficult not to be bitter.' 'But you are
not bitter, are youTshe asked. 'No,' he smiled. 'And you still have your
titie'r 'Yes, but it has very little importance now. Many people claim
to have a title these days.' 'But you have the consolation of knowing
you are authentic.'She smiled. She was still holding his hand. 'And you
have the consolation of knowing you are a most kmd and lovely lady.' She
was happy to see he had recovered some of his good spirits. What a
terribly sad story, she thought, yet she felt completely at ease with
him. What a shame she wouldWt be seeing him again. She withdrew her
hand. 'Are you going to be in France when Im visiting Elena?, His smile
was double-edged. 'No, I'm afraid not. My cousin has her own friends and
I have mine. I think she   . feels an obligation towards me, that I have
never encouraged. She doesn't realize that I am perfectly content to
remain where I am. But you will have a wonderful time. Elena is a
perfect hostess. How long will you be staying9' 'Only two weeks, then I
shall return home., 100 101 He was saddened by that thought. 'Well, two
weeks will be all right then. I wouldn't recommend any longer than that.
I'll tell you what! I shall try to drop in on you during your visit,
just to see how you are doing. Would you like thatT 'Yes, of course,'
she assured him, pleased that he cared enough to make such an effort.
'But I wouldn't want to inconvenience you.' 'Oh no! I may be needed to
act as a counterbalance against all that richness. Like a mint after a
full meal. But don't be surprised if my cousin doesn't welcome me. We
are only close when we meet in my territory. In hers she is like a
lioness protecting her hard-earned carcass, while herjackal guests
feast.' His brutal description frightened Anne. 'Speaking of feasts,'she
said, 'I can't eat another bite!'The luncheon had consisted of a
vegetable souffid served in a pastry shell, a large portion of
mozzarella marmara, and a delicately shaped pasta tossed with clams and
butter. Topping off the meal was a freshly made cassata. 'rin happy you
enjoyed it,'he sai4f. 'It was wonderful but what I've enjoyed most of
all is your company.' 'My dear girl, let me assure you that no matter
what you have got out of this afternoon, I have got twice as much. I
shall never forget you! rin only sorry I am unable to accompany you to
the catacombs as I had promised. Something concerning business demands
my attention.' She covered her disappointment well; after all, the
luncheon was more than she had expected. Besides, she was still tired
from last night. She assured him she didn't mind. 'It will leave me
something to see on my next visit to Rome.' He paid the check, and
hailed a taxi for her, taking 102 ',both her hands in his. 'I hope your
tour of Greece will be He pulled her towards him and kissed her Ubtly on
both cheeks. 'Ar7ivederci, signorina,' he whispered. She felt a twinge
of sadness to be leaving him. She got into the cab and waved to him as
it pulled away. What a remarkable man, she thought. And so wise. She
remembered his words, 'If you choose to do something then you are not
being used.' From now on she would make her own choices. Harry's Bar was
crowded with the usual assortment of locals and expatriate regulars
mixed with the tourists, both American and European, and Larry was
waiting for him at the entrance. The maltre d' led them through the
darkened bar, through the pub-like atmosphere of the dining room and
into a private room, empty except for a side table arranged with
cocktails and several platters of hors Weuvres. The room was panelled in
dark woods with forest-green leather booths, exactly like the public
rooms. One of the tables was set with service for ten, indicating that a
party was expected   'I guess we're early,' Larry said. But just then
Vincenzo Visconte and his entourage arrived. , Alessandro studied
Visconte briefly, pleased with what he saw. He wore a light-grey summer
suit and a blue shirt. He was tall and dark, and seemed in command of
the room as soon as he entered. 'Duke di VaIdagno, I am most pleased to
meet you.'He turned to the woman next to him. 'May I present Signorina
Claudia Luchino, and my son-in-law, Signore Flavio Rmaldi.' The Luchino
woman was blonde, around twenty-five years old, and German, Alessandro
guessed, in spite of her name. She looked well paid. The 103 son-in-law
didn't smile, just nodded his acknowledgement. Something about all of
them made Alessandro suddenly apprehensive. 'Signore Visconte,' Larry
began, I've told Alex something'about your willin'ness to loan him money,
but he was a bit sceptical.' Visconte raised an eyebrow. 'Then we shall
reassure him! Would you gentlemen like a drink?' A waiter entered
through a side door and began to mix a pitcher of martinis. 'Sit down,
my dear,' Visconte said to the woman. I'll have something brought to
you.' She obeyed with a bored expression, crossing the room to slide
into a booth at the opposite end. Rmalch joined her after a look fivin
Visconte. Visconte took a drink from the waiter and slid into a nearby
booth. Alessandro and Larry followed him. Alessandro could feel the cool
of the leather through his trousers. A single candle decorated the
table, pristine in the middle of the white cloth. Alessandro had a
sudden premonition that this meeting Would evolve into another dead end.
Visconte was obviously a well established businessman who knew the risks
of lending money. Alessandro took a sip of his cocktail, but his throat
was dry and he wanted a drink of water. H he asked for one it might be a
show of weakness. I don't wish to belabour our discussion,' Visconte
said. I know how difficult it is for a man of your stature to borrow
from private lenders. But there are advantages. I know, for instance,
that you have been turned down by my austere associates at various
banks, and that is unfortunate. 1, however, lend on a handshake, not a
financial statement.' 'You mean that I might qualify for a loan?he
asked. 'A man Of your background? Of course. How much woney would you
need to borrow to begin your enterpriseT Alessandro hesitated. He'd need
between twenty-six and twenty-seven million lire for the entire project,
according to his cost projections. He had slightly over two and a half
million lire of his own, and if Larry advanced him another two and a
half million, he woii1d need to borrow twenty-one million, twenty-four
thou $and. He had calculated it all very carefully. JUs Larry told you
what I plan to do with the money?' 'That is not my affwr, signore, I
only ask you how Twenty-one million, twenty-four thousand lire. That a
twenty four thousand dollars at the current rate ofexchange,'he said,
for 1my's benefit. And for how long?' "Approximately three months.' I do
not lend money for approximate amounts of time. Three months is my
maxiiinum.' Alessandro was surprised. That is all right,' he said slowly
It's expensive, you know. rm not in this as a charity.' 'What is your
rateT 'One-third, for the duration of the loan.'The dark eyes showed no
expression. Alessandro withheld his reaction, trying to assess what he'd
heard. He couldn't believe it! It was staggering. 'Thats awfully steep,'
he said finally. I'm not certain it would be profitable for me under the
circumstances, but I would have to look at my figures.' Visconte glanced
at Larry, and back at Alessandro, looking displeased. I believed you
were informed of these details, but apparently not. You have come to me,
signore, and I do not bargain, ever!' He emphasized his 104 105 last
word but his voice remained calm. 'If you are concerned about the
advisability, or perhaps about a risk, then you'd better reconsider.'
'No, not about a risk. I plan to carry a variety of insurance policies
in case of contingencies, and with Larry's guarantee of purchase there
is virtually no risk involved.' 'I'm certain of it.' Visconte smiled for
the first time, but only with his lips. 'When would you need the loan?'
'Not immediately. I'd want some time to prepare for production. Perhaps
late September, so that I may be ready for the October market.' Visconte
nodded, and handed him a card. There was only a name and number on
it.Any time you are ready, give me a call. You'll have the cash in an
hour's time.' The interview was over, and Visconte stood while
Alessandro and Larry slid out of the booth. 'Have a pleasant evening,
gentlemen,'Visconte said, and shook hands with both of them. Alessandro
reached the door and turned to wait for Larry, but Visconte had detained
him. 'Are you certain he knows who we are?' Visconte asked when
Alessandro left the room. Larry smiled broadly. 'I told him everything.
Of course!' 'Good. I wouldn't want him to have any surprises.'His look
was direct. 'You'd better make sure he knows that we collect our debts
immediately.' 'I'll tell him,Larry promised. 'But he already knows., He
hesitated.'My usual finder's feeT 'Of course!' Visconte nodded and waved
him away, crossing the room to sit with the blonde. Larry left and
joined Alessandro. 'Well, whatd I tell ya?' 'I'm really very grateful
for what you've tried to do. t I just don't know if this is the best way
to go. My would be a third of what I expected. Those are y outrageous
charges!' 'Got any other choice?'Larry asked. Wo,'he admitted. OMen
don't worry,'Larry insisted, patting him on the back. 'You an' me are
gonna make money, Alex. And this is only the beginning.' Like every
other European, Alessandro had always shut down his operation in August
and gone to a resort; this August he would stay in the city and work.
Rome was hot and overflowing with tourists, but that didn't bother him.
His main concern was whether or not to accept the loan from Visconte. He
couldn't fool himself that any man who held Ins business meetings in a
restaurant and who charged usurious interest rates was not someorw to be
wary of. But as Larry so aptly put it, he didn't have any other choice.
There was no one in Rome from whom he could seek advice about such a
matter. The fewer people who knew he had any dealings with Visconte, the
better. Anyone of substance in the financial community would tell him to
stay clear. But this was his opportunity. He couldn't let his chance go
by without trying. And if he made his deadline on the loan, he shouldWt
have any trouble with Visconte. While he was trying to come to a
decision he received a call from his cousin Carlo, one of his favourite
people. There was a deep affection between the two of them. 'What are
you doing here this time of yearT Alessandro asked him, over dinner at
Legaturn di Roma. 'I'm passing through on my way to Lago di Como.'
'Rather indirect route, isWt it?'Alessandro asked. Carlo smiled his
white perfect smile. He had his 106 107 father's features and Elena's
beauty. 'I wanted to see you. I have something to discuss.' Alessandro
noticed Enzo walking across the dance floor and he was reminded of his
own predicament.'You came at the right time; I too have a problem with
my new business.' 'What is it?'Carlo asked. 'No, you first!'Alessandro
insisted. Carlo shook his head. 'Business before pleasure.' I might have
known.' Alessandro laughed. He signalled to the waiter for another
bottle of wine. 'I am trying to decide whether or not to accept the
offer of a high-interest loan. It would leave me with very little profit
after a great deal of work. It is private money,'he added. Carlo
understood. 'Why would you consider it?' Tor several reasons. Even
though my profit would only be about six million lire instead of a
possible ten million if I borrowed from the bank, the money isn't the
issue. It would give me the start I need.'He onutted the fact that every
bank had turned him down, and Carlo didnX ask. 'What kind of business is
it?' 'Wholesale clothing.' 'You're certainly equipped to do that.'
'That's what I thought.' Alessandro felt his enthusiasm rising. 'And I
have a guarantee of purchase from an associate in America for the
production of my entire first line, so I won't be left with any
merchandise. It's a great opportunity to open up the US market and test
my product without any risk. Then, too, Fd get to know the business of
subcontracting and judge if I wanted to open my own factory.'
'Subcontracting is where the dMiculties, he! That's especially true in
our shipbuilding firm.' agreed. 'But it is a great challenge for me. t
to show a few people who have been sceptical Of ability that I can do
it.' GlAe my mother?Carlo asked. 'Elena is the least of my critics.' It
seems as if you have made your decision,' Carlo "replied. Alessandro
twisted the stem of his glass. 'But ,there is one aspect that truly
bothers me. The time limit of the loan ... It is very short. Only three
months.? Carlo sat back in his chair thoughtMY. 'Is it possible to
accomplish all that you must do, given such a deadline?'       I 'Yes,,
Alessandro answered slowly.1 believe so. But it will not allow me time
for contingencies, and when one depends on others for production and
shipment of goods, anything can happen.' 'Don't I know it,'Carlo said.
The manufactured goods have to be shipped to the retailer in time to be
sold during the first rush of the. season. With today's cost of
overheads, retailers can't afford to miss a single buyer, and without
merchandise they have nothing to sell.' Carlo nodded. 'In a business
such as-mine, where we build our ships to order, we run into different
kinds of problems, unless I accept an order with a deadline. And then,
of course, everything goes wrong.' Isn't that the truth,' Alessandro
commented. 'You know, Carlo, it makes me feel better to discuss it with
YOU. Carlo smiled. 'So tell me, what is the pleasurable problem
troubling '71 you. 'I've been having a romance with a woman quite a bit
108 109 older than myself. It's certainly not the first time, but there
are complications.' 'Her husband?' 'Not so much that, as the fact that
she's mother's closest friend.' Alessandro had a suspicion of who it
was, but he would never have asked. 'Are you happyT I'm always
happy,'Carlo laughed. Tspecially when I'm in love! She's interesting,
and witty, and very beautiful. I find her fascinating, for the moment.
I know it will not be permanent. But there is always that chance. I
should like to settle down some day.' 'And you want me to talk to
Elena.' 'Only if it becomes necessary.' 'She doesn't listen to me, you
know.' 'But it would help to have you on my side.' 'Of course,'
Alessandro agreed. He couldiust imagine Elena's reaction. 'Do you think
you'll go ahead with the business ventureT I don't see why not.
Compared-to The hornets' nest you're in, my problem seems quite simple.'
And the more he thought about it, the more certain he was of success. He
began by making tentative arrangements to sublet space in a men's
sportswear showroom in Milan's clothing mart. His line would not
conflict with the others, in fact they might complement each other. But
he had trouble getting representation with a buying office. He consoled
himself with the thought that his first season was a guaranteed sale.
Once his clothes were bought and shipped, he could use that
accomplishment to gain acceptance. Next year they would be soliciting
him. go into production in the fall meant he would be ucing a spring and
summer line, and that had its vantages. Cetton duck and linen and silk
blends were ,t as costly as gabardines, cashmeres and tweeds, so his
initial outlay for fabric would be less than in :,January when he would
buy wools for the following year. The spring market showing was in
October, so he must have Ins designs and samples ready by then, and have
purchased an his stock materials. The purchase of brics was the primary
gamble of a manufacturer who depended on orders by sample. But it was
necessary to have the fabric to cut the goods once the orders were
placed, and that was costly. His line would consist of five sportscoats,
three diftbrent styles of slacks, and four suits, all made in various
combinations of fabrics. In order to produce it he would need to
purchase a great deal of material. Fortunately he had that built-in
order with Larry guaranteeing him at least a break-even point- He and
Rudy, his assistant, went to work altering the designs of his custom
samples to appeal to a mass market and still retain their special
styling and elegance. It was then that he began to believe his dream
could be a reality. 110 ill Cha ter 10 P Anne and Brenda sat in an
enormous Greek caM opposite the yacht basin in Piraeus, both desperately
wishing they had more time. The memory of the Parthenon was still as
alive as the sore muscles in their legs. Of all the wondrous monuments
they had seen so far, the Acropolis of Athens had been the most
magnificent. The sky was cobalt blue and the sun shone white on the
modem stucco buildings that climbed the hills around the bay, piled one
upon the other, somehow temporary after the agelessness of Pericles's
achievement. Now and then a bee would buzz over to nibble at their
fi-uit, - its hum blending with the pleasant buzz of conversation around
them. Across the street the yachts were moored side by side in their
watery places, sporting registries - Panama, Yugoslavia, France, Italy -
that spoke of a more leisurely life. Private passengers met their
chartered yachts in Piraeus for cruises around the Greek islands, and
Brenda kept thinking that she was going home in two days. 'Well, we've
seen the major sights. Next time we won't be tourists., 'Next trip, or
next life?'Anne asked. 'A toast.'She raised her glass.To group tours - a
long life without me! I'm so tired of buses.The Jostle and the Bounce"
makes a good title for a tourist guide. Did you- 113 ever feel like a
schlep compared to all the elite     we saw? Remember that gorgeous
hotel with the private cabanas in VeniceT 'The Excelsior PalaceT 'Yes,
and that restaurant in Florence with all the chauffeurs in front.'
'Sabbatini'sT 'And the street with all the boutiques below the Spanish
Steps in Rome where the shopgirls were more elegant than the customers?'
'Via Condottil' 'And these Yachts-'She swept her arm to include a few
huge ones complete with smokestacks and two launches each. 'That's the
way to see Europe. That's the way to live - Tour dArgent, Laserre,
Laperouse, not maxim,s by night.' 'And Legatum. di Roma,, Anne said,
remembering. 'All it takes is money.' Brenda had voiced her own
sentiments, her own longings. 'That's what you think. Money can get you
dinner or a hotel room, but it won't get you into the exclusive arena of
name or title.' Anne recalled her discussion with Alessandro. Titles
weren't so exclusive. 'It's not the title,' held said. 'It's the
nobility of Your life.' Easy to say if you speak from a Position of
security. Vould you want to live like thatT she asked now. 'I have no
chance anyway, so it's a moot point.'Brenda sighed.'But I sure don't
want to go back to work. I feel as if I haven't had a vacation at all!
I've lived it up, but I haven't really lived.' Anne sympathized. 'Why
don't you come with me to Cap Ferrat? Elena invited you.' 'An invitation
to Elena's villa isn't the same as being accepted on their terms. You'll
still be ignored ;,by the svelte. I would only go there if I had money
11: CN ArC. 'What do you mean?' 'Anne, you're a sweet kid from Burbank
who doesn't know a Gucci from a Lamborghini, or a Bulgari from a
Maserati. But I know every eighteen-carat-gold inch of them, and I may
eat my heart out for ever, but I woWt wear them or buy them until they
suit me, which they don't. I It so happens that I do know the names of
the status symbols and a few you might not expect me to know. But what
do you think would make you suitableT Brenda sighed. 'Lose some weight,
straighten my hair, fix my nose, change my religion, learn a few
languages, inherit a fortune, and grow five inches.' Anne laughed.
'You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you? How are you going to
grow five inches and why would you want to be tall?' 'Because everyone
in the jet set is tall and willowy, with no hips, and their breasts are
small perfections - sticking outiauntily above skinny flat stomachs.'
That's ridiculous! An entire class of people from different countries,
of different nationalities,, and not one of them is short or chubby or
ordinaryT What am I defending, Anne thought with a sinking feeling. I've
thought the same things myseW She too had loved the touch, the taste,
the glimpse of la dolce vita. 'Now I know what you think of me - chubby,
short, and ordinary. Thanks a lot!' 'I didn't mean that,'Anne protested.
'Well, even if all that changed, I still wouldn't fit in. Being chic
just isn't enough. You have to come from an exclusive background, and
there's a certain mental attitude that's essential.' 114 115 They stared
at each other in the harsh light of comparisons, as if seeing themselves
for the first timie. 'It seems as though we've both been thinking the
same things.' Now Brenda was surprised.'You tooT 'I haven't been wearing
blinders, you know.' 'But you could really be glamorous if you wanted
to. If you created a new image, people would believe it., ,You think
so?Anne was glad for Brenda's corroboration. She thought of herself as
having that chance if she wanted to take it, and it must have been
obvious from her expression, for Brenda felt a stab of resentment and
couldn't resist. 'Of course, as you are now, you're definitely too
blah.' Colour rose in Anne's cheeks, making them blotchy.'l wasn't too
blah for Alessandro.' 'You look ghastly when you blush like that,'
Brenda countered. 'I don't need your stupid opinions!'Anne stood up.
'I'm going for a walk.' 'You'll pass out in this heat. Sit down.'Brenda
looked up at her. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! ...
Oh hell, yes I did. But I'm sorry. Forgive meT Anne sat back down. I
guess it bothers me that you have the potential to make something of
yourself. Like Princess Pignatelli, now known as Luciana Avedon. She was
awful to begin with, and now she's the glamour queen of the world!'
'Brenda, I'm not awful.' 'I didn't say you were awful, just that you
could do so much more with yourself. Look at your life. You married a
louse and let him walk all over you. Your job isWt particularly
challenging, you do it with your eyes closed. WhaiVs wrong with
aspiring to something more? Wouldn't you love to be rich? I mean really
rich, villas and yachts and designer clothes nchT Srenda,' Anne said
quietly, I am rich. I have one hundred thousand dollars of my own. I
inherited some of it; the rest came from my divorce settlement.'
Brenda's mouth fell open. She stared at Anne in amazement. To you mean
to tell me that all this time rve been feeling sorry for poor plain Anne
and you've had all that money? Good God, what an idiot I am. Why are you
wasting your time on a miserable economy tour when you could go first
classT Secause if I spend all my money on vacations, I won't have any
left.' Tummy, you don't have to spend it. You can invest it and live off
the income.' Tor your information, Brenda, the interest on one hundred
thousand dollars is only about seven thousand dollars a year. I did
invest it, it's in the bank in a C  D account paying about seven percent, but I have to leave it untouched for two years or it won't earn
the seven percent interest.' Brenda stared at her in shock. 'You
were just going to go on like this for ever, weren't you? Taking an
occasional tour with your yearly dividends, working away at that design
firm, while your great potential goes unused and underdeveloped. This is
the age of women, why not invest in yourselff 'How would I do thatT 'Do
a complete reorganization of yourself. Find out who you are, what you
could be.' 'I know who I am!' 'No, you don't, or you wouldn't have been
such a 116 117 pushover for a creep like Jeff and you wouldn't think
working for a graphics firm is the be-all and end-all of professions and
you would wear make-up and great clothes and be with interesting people!
'I think you're interesting.' Thanks, but that's not what I mean. Our
duchess Lady Brisson is a perfect example. Even though I can't stand
her, she's offering the chance of a lifetime and you'll blow it.' 'So
what can I do to become glamorous and interesting in two days? She's
expecting me the day after tomorrow.' 'You could buy some new clothes,'
Brenda said, offering a Band-Aid for a fracture. But Anne wasn't
patched, she was inspired. She stared off into the distance, thinking
about Brenda's enthusiastic suggestions. She had already been mulling
them over for a long time. Anne lay on the bed staring at the ceiling,
not seeing the white plaster cracks here and there or the beams or the
flies crawling between them. All she could see were columns of
statistics, cost projections based on her capital, ideas to reject or
accept, battle plans to be imposed or dismantled, and always at the end
of the rainbow a pot of gold French and Italian gold with her sitting on
top of the pile, a super-sophisticated Anne Scott, throwing kisses to
the masses and tossing roses to hordes of counts and barons who all
looked like Omar Sharif. Her head was swimming. What would I have to do
to change myself? What would I want to be? A model? An actress? Would
plastic surgery help?. She wrapped tier arms around herself, and rocked
back and forth on the bed, tingles beginning to emanate from her ideas
to her limbs. Long nails, long legs, long lashes- Long life,, Anne! A
toast to a new you. You could learn to speak *nguages, and play tennis,
and talk Politics, and ski. -She hugged herselftighter. Two days to be
transformed. Maybe I should make a deal with the Devil. or better yet,
maybe Brenda could help. But Brenda was asleep. If a fairy godmother
would wave her magic wand ... that doesn't happen in real life. Put your
nose to the grindstone; never mind that it's a surgeon's hands that
reshape you and instructors who teach you, you do all the work. My
figure is OK. I could do something with myself if I really tried. Look
what I did with Jeffrey! She was on the deck of a yacht waving to the
shore. There stood Jeffrey and Jill and ars husband Harvey, and all the
Larrys in the world, staring at her, desiring her. She was gorgeous.
Suddenly it all came clear. She leaped out of bed and shook Brenda
awake- 'Wake up! you have to hear this.' Her voice trembled with
excitement. Tm not going back to California. I'm not going home.'I'm not
even going to visit Elena just nowBut rm going to live in Europe.
Brenda! I'm going to redo myself.' Brenda was fully awake now, pulling
up on her elbows. what are you going to live onTher practicality
demanded. I have temporary support from         'Jeff because I
supported him through school, and I have my capitalCertainly enough
until I find what I want to do. Do you want to stay with meT Brenda
hesitated. 'I'd have to get a job.' ,rve figured it all out. I can afford
to hire you as my secretary-companion until you find something.'
'If you're serious they're gonna hate me in New York!' Anne clenched the
sheets with her fists as tightly as if 118 119 she were grasping her
future. 'Yes, I'm serious. I've never been so serious in my life Bren.
AD last spring I felt as if my life were over. All summer rve been
licking MY wounds and waiting for a wire fi-oin Jeffrey-, "All is
forgiven, come home and be my doormat." I waited for something to happen
to me in every city we've been to.   I wanted an adventure, something
that would change me! But we have to make things happen to us. I have to
make it happen for me! I don't want to be used any more. - I've got to
do something about it, don't you think?' Brenda grinned at her. 'Don't
ask me, tell me!' 'I'm going to, Brenda. I'm going to do it!' Elena held
the letter from Anne in her hand. That stupid, infuriating girl, she
thought. 'Forgive me, dear Elena, but I will be unable to join you this
summer. Perhaps in a few months if things go according to my plans . .
.' What plans could a girl like that possibly have? How many times a
week to shave her legs.? She didn't know the first thing about plafas.
But Elena did. She had planned that visit. Everything was geared towards
Anne's arrival. On Anne she had pinned the completion of her
recuperation, she was just holding on until then. And now she felt more
alone than she had before they'd ever met. She was going to surprise
Anne with a trip to Majorca and then on to Marbella. Oh, it would have
been so calming to confide in someone. For she'd finally decided that
that was what she needed, a confidante. She wanted someone who would
sympathize with her when she was at her lowest point. Someone who would
lock her in a closet when she was tempted to shoot up again. But Anne
wasn't coming. And now here she was, craving a shot, not because of
physiological dependency but because the very source of her strength 120
,.bad betrayed her. We was too cruel to bear. She'd told everyone in her
family of Anne's kindness and concern for her, built her up to be a.
demi-saint. And now the Deffish little bitch had callously written this
insensitive note with no return address. How to find her? Elena knew
Anne lived in Los Angeles. She called Information but the phone was
disconnected. No referral. She felt boxed into a corner. Everything
she'd banked on was gone. How would she get through it all now, with
everyone expecting so much of her? The social season began in late
September and she had to do her part. But her nights were worse now than
they'd ever been. Over the years she had become the arbiter of St Jean
Cap Ferrat society. Her name carried the key to many a difficult door
Everyone envied her. Her body was excellent,. her ex-husband the most
desirable, her avant-garde taste the envy of all. She never forgot a
detail that would flatter, a point of information that would interest,
and she was an expert at making everyone feel at ease - even the most
insecure. She always knew exactly what she was doing, and in society
that was a comfort. However, Anne's change of plan left her at a very
loose end. She called Frangoise de Kergoly and invited her to lunch at
Andrd's. Frangoise would think of something to amuse her. Half-way
through their aperitif Frangoise dropped her news. 'How broad-minded of
you to be so supportive of Carlo. I could never be so generous.' Her
tone implied that Elena knew what she was talking about, and she watched
forElena's reaction with innocent green eyes- Bitch, Elena thought.
lbank you for the compliment. But having a narrow-minded viewpoint isn't
your fault. Blame it on your parents. 121

'I don haw a narrow-mindW viewpoint,' FranWise said, caught in Elena's
offensive. 'Oh? You just said I was broad-minded and you weren't.'
'Still. One's closest friend and one's son! It does take fortitude.' The
coup de grdce, Elena thought. God save me from close friends. And then
the meaning of Frangoise's statement etched its way into her
consciousness and her knuckles turned white as she fisted her hands
under the table. Oh, Carlo! She wanted to cry, What have you done? To
give herself a moment to think, she signalled the waiter for another
Campan and soda. Truma is going through a difficult tune right now, poor
thing,, Elena modulated her voice to appear concerned and still regal.
'She hasn't accepted growing old as easily as YOU. Imagine Carlo with
Triana! She could barely restrain herself from squeezing the crystal
glass in her hand until it shattered. Triana was forty-four if she was a
day, and Carlo, her beautiful Carlo, was only thirty-one. She wondered
if Paolo knew. He would be finious. Triana wasn't even Carlo's type!
'You can't believe there's anything between them that would concern me,
do you? Oh, Frangoise!' She was succeeding with her act. She had
obviously caught Frangoise off guard. 'But I was certain . . 'Every
young man must have an "experience" like that. I'll bet YOU were sorry
it wasn't youT She was all innocence. Frangoise looked away. 'Honestly,
Elena. Don't be vulgar.' At last the soup arrived. 'Butjust to please
you, I shall warn them to be more discreet. If you know about this, 122
411011 everyone else will find outV She stared at 6Wise, her meaning
clear: Keep your mouth shut! 'That's what I thought,' Frani;oise said,
finally vindicated. Wait till I get my hands on Triana, Elena thought,
her need for Anne suddenly displaced by a more pressing problem- 123
Chanter 11 X- Anne had never had difficulty sleeping, but now she
developed insomnia, waking at two or three every morning, and unable to
get back to sleep. Her body was over-extended from physical excesses of
a new type - she had begun to jog, she was studying ballet, and she was
dieting for the first tame in her life. After the initial burst of
enthusiasm, drudgery had set in. Reshaping a flabby stomach was a bloody
bore. By three o'clock in the morning the hunger pains were intolerable
and never assuaged by the yogurt or the piece of fi-uit she allowed
herself She would try to relax, knowing she needed her sleep. But she
was too keyed up, aware that she was an ant trying to carve a goddess
out of the sides dCarrara. She and Brenda had rented an apartment in
Rome, reasoning that it was cheaper to live there than in Paris, and
they worked to learn Italian. Besides, where there were pampered women,
there had to be means of learning their ways. She searched herself for
new resources, inspirations to fill the hours of self- doubt, thinking
about characters in books she'd read, ".-And of movies she had loved and
the stars who had 0 yed the characters she longed to be like. Classic 0
vies produced a dream of a better life. Somewhere o wore those
beautiful clothes and knew how to to men, and made their lives work for
them 125 instead of the other way around. She. took her inspiration from
old movies on TV. For her exercises, she became Myrna Loy determined to
keep her man; for her tennis lessons she became Jane Powell determined
to find her man; for her language lessons she became Jane Russell
determined to take her man. Ann Blyth and Kim Novak and Grace Kelly were
there whenever inspiration or muscle faded. And somewhere, he lay in
wait for her. Mister Right. The golden cock at the end of the trail. It
was all a fantasy but she persevered. And it was beginning to pay off.
'Look at you!'Brenda exclaimed.What a difterence: They had gone to a
boutique on the Via Condotti to buy Anne's first bikim, three tiny
pieces of material that just covered her pubis and her nipples. Anne
turned around to inspect herself from all angles. Her waist was small,
hip bones extending from her pelvis. Her legs were long, accentuated by
the line of the bikini which rode high on her hips. She did a pli,6 and
watched in fascination as the muscles contracted and protruded as she
bent and pulled her knees together. Her calves were rounded, her ankles
were slim, her thighs were shapely. The only flaw was a dimpled lump on
the outside of her thigh. She hit the offensive spot with her fist. This
is where I have to concentrate., 'You could use a tan,' Brenda offered.
'And some breasts., Anne looked at her sharply. 'Do you know where they
sell them?' She nodded. 'At the plastic surgeon's., 'Forget it, Brenda.
I'lliust be small, thank you.' 'Small is a compliment for what you've
got.' 126that's enough, Brenda,'she snapped, glancing at the She doesn't
speak Enghsh,'Brenda said. Anne stood her ground. Bette Davis would
never take ,that! 'Don't ever insult me in public again. If you have a
suggestion you can damn well be discreet about My Brenda stared at her.
Would wonders never cease? But she didn't let up. She waged a campaign
for breast implants until Anne couldn't stand it any more. '111 think
about it,' she said finally, and then she had another problem to keep
her awake at night. Could breasts be that important? No! It was silly,
beneath her. She couldn't get used to the new way she looked. In her
ballet tights her height was accentuated. Long, lean Anne, she thought
to herself But her thinness didn't give her grace. She was awkward and
ungainly, and struggling with ballet lessons depressed her. Though she
had no real interest in ballet she felt competitive with talented young
women in her class. 11 'Vilhat do you think, Brenda? Should I switch to
aerobics orjazz dancing?'   "Why not? Ballet lessons at your age are
only supposed to give you an appreciation of the art. You've got the
basics now. Sure, try another form! Maybe you'll enjoyJazz dancing. Anne
winced. It wasn't what she wanted to hear but Brenda was right, jazz was
easier. She learned to do the latest dances. They went to the
discotheques at rught :,,and -practised, observing the vivacious and
decorated girls who frequented them, whose popularity seemed to i i
direct relation to their looks and their availn "i',",ibility Still, it
was educational, and Anne was a quick 127 When she wasn't exercising her
body she was exercising her mind. She learned to converse, not
apologetically, but with an air of determination and confidence. She
read current history, politics, economics, and discussed them with
Brenda over dinner each night. Brenda was amazed by the quality of
Anne's intelligence. She grasped facts readily and understood their
implications. Anne familiarized herself with names and faces in the
social scene. She had hated Women's Wear, but she read it religiously
and now she was beginning to enjoy it. She bought a tiding crop and
asked Brenda to tap her whenever she forgot her posture and began to
slouch. 'You make me feel like a pony trainer, Anne. If I do this, youll
hate me!' I don't care! Don't listen to me no matter how much I
complain. Just do it! FU never learn otherwiseF She spent hours in
fi-ont of the mirror, tilting her head at the most flattering angle and
transforming her grin - never her best feature - into a snide that did
not bare her gums. When she grew frustrated at the manity of this
pastime and fimous with herself every time she relapsed into her old
horse grin, she would clench her fists and remind herself,'If Raquel
Welch could learn to flare her nostrils, I can change my smile.' They
kept to themselves, but not out of choice. Though the American colony in
Rome was diverse, American executives didn't fraternize with tourists -
nor did producers, directors and actors. To get into a social life
worthy of their aspirations they needed an invitation, an introduction,
a sponsor. And their would be sponsor was not in Rome, but in Paris for
the fall and Gstaad for the holidays, so Elena's servants told them when
they telephoned. 128 I hope the invitation will still be open for that
visit by the time I'm ready,'Anne said. And everywhere she went she now
heard. 'Oh, how beautifulF The salesgirls said it, the shoppers said it,
and children said it. 'Isn't that beautiful, che bellaF What is
beautiful? Anne thought, watching an obese mother hand a triple gelato
to her toddler and then " 'Icorder one for herself. Why do I want to be
beautiful? Because beautiful is better. She felt obsessed with herself,
obsessed by that unattainable vision. Everyone else was beautiful.
Everywhere she looked, young women, older women, dressed-up women,
undressed women.. Were they all trying as hard as she was? Her mother
was not beautiful, but her father loved her. But Jeffi-ey didn't love
me. What was the right look for her? Not the flash of the available and
sexy young women she saw in the discotheques. Nor the elegance that
suited Brenda. For Brenda it was easy. These were the clothes she adored
and wore well: St Laurent sportswear, Buccelatti chains, Gucci loafers,
nothing cute or faddish; her tastes ran to the classic. But for Anne
neither the latest in fad nor an understated elegance seemed quite
right. Everyone looked the same to her, both on the disco scene and
among the Gucci set. She knew there was security in uniforms but
uniformity didn't suit her any more. She'd conformed all her life, and
now she longed to be different. She wanted her clothes to reflect that
difference and say something about her - not be flamboyant, just unique.
Every garment she saw she knew she could improve upon. And she began to
sketch her ideas, finding that her drawings expressed the way she felt.
The more she drew, the more ideas she got. It 129 seemed never-ending.
Brenda thought she was quite innovative. I didn't know you could draw.'
Anne laughed. 'I made a living at it. But rve never tried to translate
these ideas on paper before.' Her talent was something she'd always
taken for granted: doesnN everybody draw? 'These clothes have real
style,' Brenda commented. 'Why don't you have one of the sketches made
up?8he pointed to a three piece outfit Anne had drawn, coloured with
mauves and lavenders. 'That's a difficult design,' Anne said. 'I haven't
got a pattern for it, and even if I did, choosing the proper fabric for
a particular design is a profession in itself My mother sewed - in fitct
she made a lot of my clothes. She spent hours in shops picking out the
right fabrics. She'd pull on the different materials to test their bias,
ravel the edges, ask questions, drape bolts of goods one on top of the
other, and once she even burned the comer of a piece of material because
she didn't believe it was correctly labelled. And you know what? She was
right! Besides,'Anne added,I don't know any dressmakers in Rome.p She
stopped, as Alessandro's face came into her mind. He was in the clothing
business, and she'd been wanting to see him all this time but she hadn't
had the nerve to call him. This was a perfect excuse! But what would he
say when he realized she'd been living here for months and hadiet called
him. After the way he'd extended himself for her he might be angry. She
had planned to be different before she called him - all transformed. I'd
better wait, she thought, give myself a little more time. But one day in
early October she found herself on Via Barberini, and there was his
shop. The sign said: FABiuc 130 in small unimposing letters, and there
were photos in the window of men wearing designs JU store was small and
carpeted in a bottle-green 00,our, the walls were wood. Against one wall
was a table covered with men's fashion magazines. Twovooden chairs and a
table were opposite the door mid next to them was a clothes rack hung
with suits and jwAjets Swatches of materials were pinned to the lapeb.
The place had a kind of run-down, old-time look toit. woman came out of
a back room to greet her. Her wavy grey hair was pulled tightly back in
a chignon, obvbobing the skin on her gaunt, fined face. Her expression
was proprietary. :Vuongibrno, signorina. Come sta?' Ta beno,'Anne
replied. 'Grazie.' rmi parlare con Alessandro Massini.' 'You are
anAmerican, aren't youT Anne smiled.'My accent is terrible.'  It is
quite good. It is I who must practise English. it sorry but my son is
not here at the moment. Were ,ou looking for something in the way of a
suit, perhaps Over the whir of the sewing machines coming from the Iack
room Anne could hear voices. One of them sounded like Alessandro's. She
glanced in that direction and evidently Signora Massini noticed, for her
pro- :,,tary look was now covering her embarrassment. must have gwis
throwing themselves at kkm, she thought, and reached into her bag to
take out a OW and paper. IWs is my name and telephone number.'She wrote
it for the woman. 'Please tell Signore Massini that I in to see him.'
131 The woman took the paper, but barely smiled as Anne left. Anne was
half-way down the street when Alessandro caught up with her. He was out
of breath from running. 'Anne! You cannot leave so soon! What are you
doing in Italy9 How wonderful you look! Merav4hoso! It's lovely to see
you.' He'took her arm through his and walked her back to the shop,
keeping up a steady conversation to hide his annoyance with his mother.
Signora Massini did not seem overjoyed to have Anne back so soon!
Alessandro showed Anne around the shop and introduced her to Dominic,
his tailor, and to Rudy, his pattern-maker. The shop was even less than
Anne had expected, but he looked happy, and seemed very proud of what he
was doing. 'How is ElenaT she asked him over dinner at a trattoria near
the Piazza Navona. 'I assume she is fine, I haven't seen her since
Paris. When I heard you had cancelled your trip to France, I too changed
my plans. 'Oh, I should have told you. But everything happened after I
left Rome for Greece. That's when I decided to come back here and live.'
'You are living here? In Rome? Splendid! We shall see more of each
other!' Alessandro was aware that the attraction he'd felt for her when
they first met was as strong as ever. Anne couldn't believe his
enthusiasm. The fact that this charming man liked her was amazing to
her. And now she would have another friend, someone besides Brenda in
whom she could confide. There were so many things she wanted to ask him.
'How is your business thriving9l He smiled. 'Many things have changed.
You remember LarryT 132 .'She wished she could forget. fcourse h ve a
gone into a busmess arrangement together. .1 will be producing a line of
men's clothes, and he will buy them and sell them in America. I have
been making vngements for factories, and working on my designs. am
extremely pleased with the way our samples look. --,,At any moment I
expect to hear from him, and then I A begin production. It is something
I have always wanted to do.' His eyes glowed with excitement as he
looked at her. Tou know, at this moment you remind me of one of my
ancestors in a painting by Titian. It is a religious theme, but he used
her as a model.' n authentic Titian? How rd love to see it.' laughed. I
would be honoured to show you y etchings.' He grabbed her hands across
the table, aware of her embarrassment. 'Don't be shy. Fm so delighted
that you are here, and I am only But as soon as she could, without
offending him, she withdrew her hands from his. No one would ever
accuse. her ofthrowing herself at him. ..,!,Do you still plan to open
your own factoryT He became more serious. Tve been trying to decide
about that since last summer. I have custom orders for clothes I cannot
fill; the work is more than my tailor can handle. But my operating costs
are such that it wouldn't _,Va. to hire another tailor. Unfortunately,
even with a tnand for more merchandise, I am not making the too fit I
had projected with my custom designs. I had to _tone of my workers go,
and my bookkeeper too. That is my mother is working for me. And why this
with Larry means so much to me. I will be to judge if investing in my
own machinery and my building would be warranted.' His tone changed as
if he were apologizing without saying so. 133 'You know, my mother means
well, but she doesn't belong in business. She insists that my customers
all meet with her approval or she doesn't want me to sell them my
clothes.' He chuckled. 'It is a difficult way to operate. Last week a
man came to me for a suit. He was from Brindisi, and recommended to me
by a cousin of Ins. When Mama found out he was from Southern Italy, she
became like an icicle. Mama believes that any place south of Rome isn't
really Italy, that a different class of people lives there. I'm afraid
she's not the only one in Italy who believes that.' 'She does seem
formidable.' 'She likes you,'he said, though Anne felt Alessandro was
not telling the truth. 'Says you are a nice, simple girl., 'Well, I'm
planning to complicate myself just a bit. That's exactly why Im living
in Rome. Haven't you noticed how much weight I've lostT 'Yes,'he
admitted.1 did think you looked a bit drawn, but you are still the same
lovely girl.' 'Alessandro, Ill be thirty in the spring!' 'How wonderfid!
We shall celebrate with a party. You must tell me when, so I can prepare
for iV She couldn't believe he was serious. He was either the most
superficial man she'd ever met, or he wasn't listening to her. 'You
don't understand what I said. I am trying to change myself. I want to be
more ... more SOcial.9 'But whatever forT he asked her. TouW delightful
the way you are!' 'Perhaps then someone like your mother would be glad to
meet me.' 'But why would you care what my mother thinks?'He was truly
puzzled. 'Never mind,' she shrugged, toying with the stem of 134 glass.
He was born to society and couldn't under- her needs as an outsider. But
when she looked up -kt him, he was smiling at her in a way that made her
feel ',:116,did understand. 'I want to show you something,' she and took
one of her sketches out of her handbag. vWhat do you dunk of thisT He
studied it for a moment and then glanced up at ditpS mteresting,'he
said. ,.She felt her hopes fall. 'Is that all you think of 'Ungaro has
always been one of my favourite not Ungaro,' she said. 'It's mine. I
sketched -Tes, mine. It's original! I designed it. And I wanted to -ask
or me!'She was bewildered you if you could make it f him. She would never
copy another designer! She 4idn't like any one of them enough to copy.
"Do you have any more of these?'he asked her. fes, a few.' 'Then you
must bring them to me. I should love to see them. You have a flair for
design.' smile lit instantly across her face. 'Do you may "'A"k so9She
hadn't dared even to hope. great deal of flair,'he said, with reserve in
contrast "er eagerness. He did not want to encourage her O"surely- He
recognized that what she had done be unusual because it showed a high
degree of y Of course, women's fashions weren't his - b t over the years
he'd had a great deal of nee with couture, if only from a buyer's
viewBetsev had worn only couture. How different '4        was from his
wife, so unspoiled and honest, to Betseys English blondeness and her 135
aristocratic pretensions. He'd been so enchanted by everything about
Betsey until her charin gave way to indifference and then bitterness.
His mother had warned him, but he had been so in love with her. And in
spite of the objections of Betsey's Anglican family to her marrying an
Italian Catholic, they had got married anyway. His title was real,
Betsey had liked that. He could still see how she looked in her
Balenciagas, in her Chanels, in her Givenchys, outfitted and
extravagant. He hated to deny her anything; it reflected on him as a
man. But he was only a workingman then. He had the Maserati franchise in
London's East End at the time and it hadn't gone well. Nothing about
that marriage had gone well, especially the pain of losing her. So much
pain that even now, eight years later, he shied away from any romantic
involvements. He did not want to be hurt. Anne was staring at him
waiting for his reaction. This is a complicated dress pattern, Anne. I'm
afraid Rudy wouldn't know what to do with it. Why don't you see if you
can find a ready-made pattern similar to yours, and we'll adapt it. Or
perhaps the dress can be modified to fit an existing pattern.' She
looked disappointed. 'If I change any of the lines, it won't be the same
dress.' 'How do you know thatT She looked at him in surprise. 'It's
obvious. This dart she pointed to a line under the bust -'is my own
creation. I've never seen one done like this before, and it means that
the bodice must be engineered specifically to include that factor. Just
as the sleeve must be cut to fit into the bodice right here.' She
pointed to another spot. He was startled by her knowledge. 'Have you
studied designT 136 But I watched my mothersew. She taughtme a Y.- He
nodded. 'We can all learn from our mothers.'And thm he winked. 'Come by
the shop some tame soon and Ve will talk to Rudy. He may be able to
help.' 137, Chapter 12 After her first frenetic efforts to find
employment, 13   was ensnared in a silken net of compla- Normally
active, the more she watched Anne Vusbing herself, running, exercising,
dancing, and i  drawing, the less Brenda could manage to do. It was
autumn in Rome, but she was gripped by a --ftlynesian paralysis. At
first she was enthusiastic, job hunting was a challenge. But after a
while it became so exhausting to navigate the city that she went job
hunting less and 'Have you heard from that American firmT Anne 'asked.
Brenda sighed. 'Another dead end! American com. Vames hire their
employees in the US and then send 10iem overseas. None of the companies
rve interviewed hiring overqualified women who can't speak 'But you!re
improving,'Anne offered. 4of enough! Speaking Italian doesn't mean
giving instructions to a cabdriver. I should be able to converse
,,'--bout the commodities market, and selling short, and bentures and
capital investments if I intend to work my field.' T ' not thinking of
going home, are youT ou re og 'Wy three times a day. But don't worry,
I'm not ES 139 giving up yet. There's another alternative besides
selling my soul as an all-pair girl.' 'What alternative?Anne wanted to
know. 'Wait and see,' she said, lightly. Her alternative was something
she was not eager to do. It wasn!t until December that Brenda burst into
the apartment with good news. I've got a job! I'm assistant to a loan
officer at Banca Moderna Italia. My boss handles only English-speaking
depositors who have Italian investments.' Anne was excited for her.
'That's wonderfid, Bren!' she said, hugging her. 'But I thought you
couldn't get a job without a work permit and you couldn't get a work
permit without a job.' It's amazing what you can do when you know
someone. I finally swallowed my pride and wrote to my training officer
at B B C  R. After reading me the riot act for not coming back to New
York, he sent me the name of someone in personnel at Banca Moderna,
Italia, along with a letter of recommendation. I went for an interview
and they hired me. They seemed thrilled to get me!' She smiled slyly.
'Of course the thing that cinched it was my fluent Italian.' And they
both laughed. She spoke Italian with her hands. Brenda loved her job.
After the first hectic days of orientation it was exciting to be around
money again and the power it symbolized. She'd forgotten how comfortable
she felt with the people who controlled it. Banking differed from the
stock market in attitude more than actuality. The brokerage business was
by nature fi-enzied, electric; banking was slow. People only hurried at
closing time. And Italians were different from Americans. The men
noticed her as a woman, admired her for herself as well as her
accomplishments. She suspected their attentions 140 chauvinistic but she
decided to reserve judgement that. i, i'Banca Moderna Italia was a
commercial bank that .1,01Mted as a short-term credit institution but it
was a -huge organization with numerous branches all over lWy. The bank's
centre for foreign investments was wded at the main building on the Via
dei Corsi. Brenda's immediate supervisor had been with the bank
fortwelve years and he spoke about Frederico Segri, the bank's
president, as a kind of god. -He knows what is happening in all our
departments. word is law; a remarkable man!'he assured her. The
description reminded Brenda of a banking Sig Brothee who sees and knows
all. She was sure she invulWt be impressed. She was wrong. Her first
meeting with the famed yederlco Segn came one morning when she was in
the yaults learning the bank's process of loan certification. An old
woman with bent shoulders and white hair came bobbling into the steel
room wearing the customary black dress of the widows of Italy. A
well-dressed man in his late forties followed her in, helped her to
unlock her vafe-deposit box from its place, and carried it into a
private booth for her. Brenda's supervisor was flustered by the presence
of the man, and then Brenda understood why. ,signore Segri,1 her
supervisor said. 'May I introduce to you our newest employee, Miss
Brenda Greenstein.' Segn extended his hand and Brenda was aware of his
piercing stare, and a fluttering response somewhere inside of her.
Nothing gets by this man, she thought, and stared right back at him. Why
was the head of the bank providing a service that was the function of a
lesser clerk? she wondered. Or did he run every department as well as
oversee it? 141 Segri was medium height, with broad shoulders and strong
features. His wavy greying hair was combed to perfection, just as his
suit was beautifully tailored. He had the appearance of austerity, but
it was softened by the touch of amusement in his eyes when he smiled.
Brenda relaxed as they shook hands. 'Welcome to BMI, Miss Greenstein.'
His voice was warm with a hint of that underlying amusement. 'I
understand you have a certain expertise in investment counselling. Our
government is most anxious to attract American dollars and rm counting
on you to be a valuable asset to our foreign-loan department.' So he
knew who she was, and he remembered the details of her background. She
was impressed with his memory, and she found him dynamic, wishing she
could think of a more original way to describe him. , She couldn't help
responding to him. 'I know I shall enjoy working hereP Her enthusiasm
seeped through her attempted cool. 'You know, Miss Greenstein, you are
an exception in our organization. Very few of our' women employees have
your education or background. We are pleased to have you with us. And if
there is anything I may do for you personally, I expect you to ask!'
Brenda thanked him graciously while Segn studied her carefully. From her
letter of introduction he'd expected her to be older and not as lush.
She was a bit unorthodox for the banking profession, but he liked her
appearance and her attitude. This young woman was definitely unique, he
thought, and he was exceedingly sharp about the dfferences in people.
She would have her supervisor'sjob in no time! It was Segri's intimate
knowledge of every aspect of banking that had got him where he was. He
had a computerlike mind and the terminals of his awareness 142 hooked
into every phase of the business. His sixth reinforced his reputation as
a mind-reader, and he was reading Brenda Greenstein!s mind, surTrised to
find that she liked him and that she wasn't at ".an intimidated by him.
Well, good, he thought. That was a quality he seldom saw in anybody,
especially over the next few weeks Brenda became more aware of Segri's
ability to keep a finger on every department of the bank. He exuded
power, and worked long hours, always there when she left for the day and
when she arrived in the morning. She watched him stride purposefiffly
from deal to deal, from department to department, not like a banker at
all. He capitalized on every aspect of Ins ability and his considerable
charm. ,Hisf oreign connections were legendary; he was known as a
'deal-maker, which allowed him to take a percentage from every group he
brought together, and that, in turn, brought other short-term loans into
the bank at a phenomenal rate. He was knowledgeable in the
precious-metals markets, he sat on the board of directors of an oil
company, and was instrumental in finding Eurodollars for an English
offshore drilling leave, rumoured to be one of the largest discoveries
ofoil Ver made. Financial wizardry was his invention. Brenda was wildly
attracted to him. One morning she arrived at the bank at seven o'clock,
determined to get there before him, laughing to herself at the idea that
he would even notice she was there at all. What chance had a minor loan
officer's assistant to gain the attention of a man of his stature? she
wondered. She told herself that if she could only absorb a fraction of
his knowledge of business, it would give her an advantage she could only
dream about. And she was dying to get to know him better. 143 - Dressed
in a beige gabardine suit and a pale-blue shirt she went to his office
to ask him if he wanted a cup of coffee. A thin excuse but she didn't
care. As she was about to knock, she heard voices coming from inside his
office. She hesitated a moment and was astonished when she realized the
language was Hebrew. They were the same words her grandfather chanted
every morning and every evening when he said his prayers and wrapped his
tefillin around his arm and around his head. Segn was Jewish! At last
they had something in common. She had found the perfect opening. Later
in the day she went back to his office. 'You once told me if there was
anything I needed personally, to come and ask YOU. He was sitting at his
desk, and he stood and offered her a chair. 'I would be glad to help you
with any problem you might have,'he said formally. She took a breath. 'I
would like to know if you could recommend a synagogue here in Rome where
I might feel comfortable attending services. Most of the temples are
orthodox in the old tradition, and I've found them quite different from
what Im used to in New York.' If he was surprised by her question, he
didWt show it. 'I can see how they might be different! I have attended
services in the United States, and we have nothing here that is similar
to the joyous participation of both men and women and boys and girls at
your Friday-night services. However, if you would allow me, I should
like to accompany you myself to my synagogue, on the Lungotavere Cenzci,
where you would be allowed tojoin in the service. Would this Friday
night be agreeableT All she could do was nod. It was much more than
she'd expected. 'Fine,'he said.'Leave your address with my secretary s
And I shall have the car pick you up at 6.30. Our service early in
Rome.' As she was about to leave, she turned and smiled at him.'I can't
thank you enough, Signore Segri. You don't know what this means to me.'
And she found she was telling the truth. Having someone to attend a
religious service with was an experience she had long missed. perhaps
her anger with God over Barry's death would -,begin to subside now, as
well as her feelings of being so alien in a foreign culture. It would be
good to establish roots with her people again. Especially through Segri.
After the service he took her to dine at the Excelsior Hotel. She could
hardly believe she was actually there with the president of Banca
Moderna Italia. Of course she didn't fool herself that he was interested
in her, but still she was flattered. 'Have you alwayslived in ItalyTshe
asked him. "Yes. But not always in Rome ... But tell me, Miss Greenstein
. . .' Tlease call me Brenda.' 'All right, Brenda, how did you become
interested in finance? It's unusual to find a woman of your intelligence
and at your level in the business.' T11 answer your question with a
question,' she replied, admiring the way his dark eyes appraised her.
"Do you know what it is about you that thrives on the control of other
people's lives? Or why it is easy for you to handle large sums of money
and not be influenced by the tremendous pressures placed on you for the
spending of that money? Can you tell me how you know what you know, or
is it some innate ability that-you couldn!t manufacture even if you
wanted toT He stared at her, watching the intensity of her expression,
absorbing what she was telling him. She leaned forward. 'If someone
asked you to explain 144 145 what the command of a boardroom does for
you, or how you know in here -2 she placed her hand across her stomach -
'when someone is trustworthy, or a poor risk, or how it is that you
never forget the details of a new government regulation, or the vagaries
of the law concerning foreign investments, could you tell theniT She sat
back in satisfaction, as if resting her case. She saw him nod slightly,
as if he were picking up more from her than her words. 'Those unknown
qualities, those inner-directed attributes arent easy for me to define
either. We have a colloquial saying in my country, "It turns me on!"' He
smiled. 'I have heard that before, but only in reference to the use of
drugs.' His clinical explanation of her statement made her laugh, and
she reached across the table and squeezed his hand. He laughed with her,
not certain why they were laughing. 'Well, it's the same thing in
banking, or stocks. They are a potent stimulus to the blood!' She
detected a note of amusement in his eyes and something else she couldn't
define. She withdrew her hand. I 'I shall be eager to watch your career,
Brenda.' He stopped himself from recapturing her hand. 'I have every
intention of earning promotions, Signore Segri,she said, and the moment
passed. 'Please call me Frederico,' he said, smiling. She smiled back,
feeling a special bond of kinship with him. A few days later he gave her
some information about a fluctuation in the silver market which could be
to her advantage. Some friends of his were very involved in the
commodities market. She told Anne about it. What do you think? It's
practically a guaranteed profit., 'Nothing is guaranteed, Brenda,'Anne
said. 'But I've watched him, Anne, the man's a genius. He's that
controls certain me" markets. If he to,invest in Fratelli Pastores, I've
got to listen.' did he say exactlyTAnne asked. 'He said. "It's only a
few days' wait, Signorina Brenda,"' she copied his accent, 'and he
didn't say go short. That means silver will go up, enough so that we can
get in and out, pay our fees and make a profit.' .-How much money were
you planning to investT Wifteen hundred dollars.' 'WhenT 'Tomorrow at
the opening, we place a buy order with the bank's brokerage house.' Anne
was silent, mulling it over. 'If we each put up 40teon hundred dollars
and make ten percent return, or twenty,that's only six hundred dollars.
Is it worth the risk for that amountT Brenda was impatient. This was an
incredible deal and Anne was too unsophisticated to know or understand.
'When one invests, it's not the amount of the profit earned that counts,
iVs the percentage earned. Very few investments ever make a profit of
twenty percent. If we can do that well on a straight investment, Vre
doin OK. But if we bought on margin, we'd make 9 What do you mean by a
killing?' 'Buying on margin with three thousand dollars would thousand
dollars'worth of capital buying ye us thirty ,"power. At a  twenty percent return, that's..         she quickly, 'six thousand dollars profile
but buying on margin is much riskier, isn't it?'Anne ti6ned.'If Fratelh
Pastores goes down we'd not only our three thousand dollars but we'd be
liable to lose if not all of the thirty thousand dollars, wouldn't 97 ut
it will go up!' Brenda insisted. 'Segri is the 146 147 president of the
bank. He's worth a fortune because of deals like this.' 'Will he
guarantee our losses?'Anne asked sarcastically and then was sorry for
her comment. 'Look, Brenda, my friend Nancy worked for a bankruptcy
attorney. And bankruptcies don't happen just from business failures,
they happen when people gamble on stupid investments. You and I know
nothing about the silver market.' Brenda shrugged; she was through
convincing. The man's doing us a favour, Anne. I'm going to invest my
own money; if you want to join me, you're welcome.' 'I suppose I can
afford fifteen hundred dollars, but if it doesn't go up you must promise
to sell. I'm not going to wait around and watch myself lose thirty
thousand dollars.' 'I agree. If it goes down, we sell out fast!' 'IT
even put in another five hundred for each of us. That will give us forty
thousand dollars on margin. What is it selling forT 'In lire?' 'Yes.'
The figures tumbled from Brenda in a breathless rush. 'Sixteen thousand,
five hundred lire a share, or about twenty-five dollars a share at the
current rate      of six hundred and sixty lire to the dollar, which
gives us sixteen hundred shares for an investment of forty thousand
dollars on margin.' In two weeks they had each cleared eight. thousand
dollars profit. In three months, with Segri's help, they each had
pocketed another fifteen thousand. Anne loved the power she felt from
earning such profits by her own risk. Even though the risk was minimal,
still it could have gone the other way. She didn't feel guilty about
this gain at all. It had an unreality about it. It would be 148 to lose
one's perspective, she thought. But she VM't about to let that happen.
And Brenda thoroughly enjoyed the increase in her bank account. But even
more than the growing numbers, she was warmed by the growing friendship
the felt towards Segri, and the smile he gave her -Avbenever they met.
Their Priday nights were becoming habit for her. All very proper and
religious, but she began to five for Priday nights. 149 Chapter 13 Gino
reached behind Ins back and tugged at the bottom of his beige flannel
jacket. It was already pencil smooth but he wanted to make sure. Then he
ran his finger inside the waistband of his slacks to see that the brown
shirt was tucked in tightly. Satisfied that all was pafect, he did his
customary touches to his hair and entered the restaurant. Feelings of
both elation and 'apprehension clutched at him. It had taken him six
months to get to this point and he didn't want anything to go wrong-
Careffilly and cleverly, he had ingratiated himself into the
acquaintanceship of Angelo Luceri, one of Vincenzo Visconte's
associates. Of his last three shipments of heroin from Hassan, half of
his supply had been sold to Luceri at cost. He wanted to prove to
4isconte that he could be a steady, reliable and valuable :$'Upplier.
They must have begun to trust him or he wouldn't be invited to meet the
big man himself. What a dck it was that Vincenzo Visconte held court in
a place like Harry's Bar. Right under their noses he operated and no one
was the wiser. It was real power when a man ould thumb his nose at the
officials and dine with the This meeting was something Gino had been
anocipating for a long time. So why the apprehension? he wondered.
Because he'd told Luceri that he was selling them his entire supply.
Very soon they would ask him directly for his source, 151 and then
they'd find out that he had been holding out on them. But what could he
do? He had to five, didn't he? It was a damned tightrope. One slip and
his guts would be splattered all over the pavement. He had to hold tight
against their pressure, not let them back him into a bad place, then he
could come out of this as his own man and still be part of their
organization. That was the trick with people like this, you had to hold
out for yourself. He was led all the way through the restaurant to
Visconte's table, in a room off the side. Luceri greeted him, and they
shook hands, while four waiters hovered around the men seated at the
table. The one in the middle was obviously Visconte. Three sets of
muscle surrounded him, black suits, large shoulders and tinted shades.
Next to him on his right was the heir apparent, Flavio Rinaldi. Gino had
heard about Rinaldi, a partially educated hothead who had been smart
enough to marry the boss's daughter. Too bad she didn't see me first,
Gino thought. Luceri introduced him: 'Gino Belmonte, this is Mario,
Rocco, Flavio, and Signore Visconte."khey shook hands. Visconte didn't
rise, though all the other men did. 'It is a pleasure to meet you,
sir,'Gino began, noticing that Visconte was appraising bun coldly. If
they decided they wanted his whole set-up he would not be able to
refuse. Visconte's silence made Gino more nervous, as if the man knew
what was in his mind and was waiting for him to say it. He tried again.
'I am honoured to be invited here.' 'We always try and reward our loyal
associates. And you have been proving yourself most valuable.' 'Thank
you,'he said, formally. He was still apprehensive. 'Your merchandise, it
has been purchased by us at cost?' 152 Gino nodded. 'Most generous And
we are pleased with the quality. So pleased that we should like to
increase our purchase! Visconte waited. , 'But I am buying now at full
capacity from my source! Gmo explained. 'If he could get me more goods
we would all be richer ... but,' he shrugged, implying the
impossibility- 'Pertiaps if um have a talk with your source! Gino
glanced at Rmalch who was. staring at bun from across the table, a
crouched animal ready to strike. They were pushing him into a bad place;
he didxet like it ,,at all. What could he d  'o? He had a sudden flash
of inspiration. There was only one way to go and that was straight at
them. He took a deep breath. 'Signore Visconte, may I speak openlyT
Visconte nodded his grey coiffed head. 'You know how I make my living
Another nod. I have taken great pains to discover my sources and to,
build a clientele. When I approached Signore Luceri wi my offer to sell
quality, inexpensive merchandise, it was because I hoped it would bring
me right where I am,today, here, at this table with you.' He paused. I
want to branch out into other areas, into legitimate business
arrangements, once I have proven my abilities,' he added. 'I hope that
is what I've been doing.' .'You have,' Visconte agreed. He still seemed
to be Gino-took the plunge.There's one other thing. I know that a man
doesWt become a part of this organization ",merely because he wants to.
He must develop trust.'He --stared directly at Visconte That is why I'm
telling y that I have been selling only half my supply to Signore
Luceri. The other half I have kept for myself, to sell to 153 my regular
clients so I can keep on eating.' He smiled but no one smiled back. His
silk shirt was sticking to his armpits and to the small of his back.
Silk stained so terribly when he was nervous. The tightness in
Visconte's shoulders began to ease and so did his expression. The coiled
cobra might not strike this tame. 'rm glad you told me this,'he said.
Sut of course I knew. It is my policy to keep myself well informed in
every area.' 'You knewT Gino covered his shock. 'Men you have been the
generous one.'How close he had come to falling off that tightrope! 'I
too believe that you are capable of branching out. We can make good use
of your abilities. There is one job in particular that I have in mind,
but it will not be available for a while. In the meantime you will begin
small, doing various services for us, while we watch your performance. I
understand you're from Naples. It's a good training ground,' he
commented. 'You may continue to run your own organization provided it
shows no more growth than what it has been for the last six months. We
like to keep our associates happy. You will wait for word from me.' 'May
I ask what Ill be waiting forT It is not my habit to reveal anything
until the right moment, Belmonte! I shall let you know when I need
you,'Visconte finished, dismissing him. Gino got up to leave, glad that
it was over. Later he would enjoy his elation, now he just wanted to get
out. These weren't his people, Rome wasn't his city, though he had many
connections here. He felt uncomfortable away from his associates. He'd
rather be in Paris. 'I'll be in touch,'he said, as he reached the door.
'No!' Rinaldi said. 'You are not to contact us. We will summon you when
we want you.' t 'o felt a surge of anger, but he fought it 4Gux nothing
but a punk. He wondered what Visconte's daughter looked like. I should
fuck her, he thought, just to bring Rinaldi down a peg. But then, I'm
too young to die He smiled as he walked up the Via Veneto. You're in,
you're in! He checked out the action all around him. It was tame to
celebrate. The people in this city were crazy when it came to
celebrations. And he knew exactly wbere to go to find that craziness.
There was a Greek in the Piazza Barberini who could set him up th
anything he wanted. Now that Alessandro had complimented her and asked
to. see her other designs, Anne was afraid to show them IN"i"'to, him If
she had his tailor make up one of her dresses --and it turned out to be
a disaste r, then what? Don't be 'the that, she told herself. The most I
can lose is the cost of the fabric and MY tune. And right now I could use
a break from my routine of disciplined reorganization. 'But if she were
honest,,dth herself, she had to admit Alessandro's approval meant a
great deal - and so did the fantasy that she could be . designer. was
several weeks before she brought him her other -ItWeeks in which she and
Rudy spent time and recutting the pattern for the lavender dress.  tried
making it in challis wool, and in silk cr6pe, litt the wool fabric was
by far the best. It fascinated her 0    the slightest change in the
pattern altered the look 1he dress. She spent hours calculating the
differences deciding on what she wanted. And Rudy knew wha y     t he
was doing whenever he advised her. A    loved working with this master
craftsman who was ....gracious and helpful to her. Anne also loved being
around Alessandro, who gave 154 155 her tremendous encouragement and
support. But his mother's attitude was another matter. Anne s
acquaintance with Signora Massini had never progressed beyond the
formal, stage, and the Signora's presence in the shop made Anne
uncomfortable. She had other things on her mind, too. She worried about
Alessandro's deal with Larry. The October market for menswear in Pans
had come and gone and Larry's order had not come through. Alex was
soeager to begin, yet he was virtually tied to his exclusive agreement
with Larry. As far as Anne could see, whatever advantage there might be
to this arrangement, Alessandro should be able to approach other
manufacturers with his samples and get their opinions, perhaps even
their orders. But it wasn't her business, so she stayed out of it. Until
finally Alessandro confided in her that he had talked to LarTy. What did
he say?'she asked. 'I explained that the samples were wonderfid. I told
him I wanted to show them in Pans, but he was adamant against that. You
know how he talks.' Alessandro imitated Larry's Oklahoma drawl. "I
arranged yer loan fer you and I can put a stop to itjest as easly.". . .
YOU know I will honour my commitment to him, Anne. I would never go back
on my word! I tried to make him understand that it wouldn't jeopardize
my arrangement with him if I sell to others, but he wouldn't hear of
it.' 'He arranged the financing for youT Anne asked, surprised. He
nodded. 'But the rate of the loan is very high.'As well as the risk of
taking it, he thought. If there was only some other way to go. 'Perhaps
you should speak to someone at Brenda's bank. She might be able to help
you.' 156 .91 sit's worth a try,' he said. 'I would like very much to' a
better loan. Even if I only produce exclusively for 's company, a loan
at several points above prime instead of what I'm paying would increase
my profit tremendously.' speak to her about it,' Anne said. 'Don't
worry, something good will happen soon.' Brenda's bank said no. Even
with Larry's commitinent to purchase the entire order, Alessandro
couldn't obtain commercial money. 'He's not a good risk, Anne,' Brenda
told her, omitting the information that Alessandro's creditors had
attached his accounts twice in the past and he still owed them a great
deal of money. 'But you should see his line of clothes,'Anne insisted.
'They're very gooff Brenda shrugged. 'Maybe so, but his talent does not
ensure his business acumen.' She studied Anne. 'Your defence of him is
touching. Any ulterior motivesT 'No, we're just friends. Though I get
the feeling he'd like it to be more than that. Yet he never oversteps
the ,.,bwnds of friendship. Perhaps I'm too plebeian for him, 4,not
enough of something else. his too bad, really. He's wonderful friend, but
that's all.' -W"Y,' Brenda said. Ifou could use a little -,"Vomance in
your life. For that matter, so could V spite of her protestations to
Brenda, Anne was "coming to depend on Alessandro more and more. She had
never felt so at ease with a man before. There was t'41othing she
couldn't tell him he wouldn't understand, nei that she had many secrets.
Their only area of disagreement concerned her need to raise herself on
the social scale. Alessandro didn't verbalize his dis- roval, but she
noticed a certain look in his eyes and a 157 tightening around his mouth
when she spoke of exterior beauty, or social standing That was one area
of conversation she avoided with him. And oddly enough, no matter how
many times he told her he preferred her the way she was, his behaviour
was one of the strongest incentives to keep her on her course. If he
liked her so much, why then diWt he try to take their relationship
finther? When she flirted with him, he responded. He was thoughtful of
her to excess and always complimentary. She was impressed by his
restraint, and tantalized by it. A romance with him would be tender and
enjoyable, but would it last? Perhaps he had Ins own doubts too. There
was none of the fiery longing she had felt for Jeff, none of those
palpitations and wild desires, but there was certainly an attraction! I
shall keep it on a friendship basis with Alessandro, she decided. I'm
not ready for a relationship. But she suspected that her readiness
depended on the chemical attraction between them that was boilingjust
beneath the surface. But in spite of their friendship, it was November
before she worked up the courage to show him the rest of her designs.
And then it turned out that she'd chosen the wrong moment. She arrived
at the store with her portfolio to find the place in a turmoil. Samples
were in piles on the chairs' tissue paper strewn about, and clothing
bags open and ready to be stuffed with samples. Alessandro caught her by
the waist and whirled her around, knocking her portfolio from under her
arm. TVhaVs all thisTshe asked. 'I got the order last night, from
Larry!'he said, setting her free. 'He wants delivery by March fifteenth,
so I will be taking out a loan in the middle of December. That way I
will not have to pay warehouse costs through the 158 of February if the
goods are finished early, and. still have a full three months to produce
them.' 'Is it a good order?' 'Sizeable enough, but he wants me to cut
only summer fabrics, so that eliminates one of my problems. The spring
supply of fabrics is certain to be picked over by now.' 'What about the
Christmas holidays? Won't they interfere with your scheduleT 'They
shouldn't. My foreman assures me he will meet my deadline no matter when
I activate my contract with him, unless it's during the month of
August.' --1i1kL-e:1 'Now what happensT she asked, retrieving her ,4g
polwoho. "I'm off to Milan to place a deposit on the fabrics I've
chosen. The deposit will hold them until I secure the loan. Then I'll
deliver the samples to the factory and go ''R,  over details of
production with them. It's fortunate that had all this time to perfect
my designs. Then while they are in production, I shall begin work on my
designs ""Id te h orthefalland. n r the.' s wonderful, Alessandro! I'm so
happy for you.'And 'it she was. Not his fault, she thought, that she had
waited so long to show him her drawings that he'd lost his that's in
the portfoho?'he asked. just some sketches. I told you about them, em r?
at them when I return.' He was barely concentrating on her. 'Shall I
leave them hereTshe asked. dy s. I promise to study them, Anne. They
will get es, ye W,--any  undivided attention. And I always keep my
promises., -'r 'I know, Alessandro.' She hid her disappointment. ow long
will you be goneT 159 'Not Iong,'he assured her. 11 certainly be back
before Chrimotinas.1 TU miss you,'she said. He looked at her and
impulsively sWpped towards her, taking her shoulders in his hands. She
thought he was going to kiss her and she stiffened, not willing to
commit such an irrevocable act. He hesitated for a moment, studying her
and then gave her his customary kiss on each cheek. 'I shall miss you,
too, my dear,'he said softly, and disappointment coursed through her.
She shouldn't have stopped him, she thought. But in a moment he was
jubilantly arranging his samples in tissue, and she helped him stuff the
arms, and 'neck-tie' the collars to prevent wrinkling. But every time
his hand brushed hers, she was acutely aware of a lump in her throat.
While Alessandro was away, Anne worked at her reconditioning with
renewed fervour, studying herself critically to see what more could be
unproved. She'd always been tall and filled out. Now she was just thin,
giraffelike, she thought. Her recent loss of weight made her face more
interesting, her eyes and nose had more definition than before, and her
large teeth were more in proportion. Herjazz claw had definitely helped
with her dancing. She felt a sense of triumph the first lame Brenda was
impressed with her on the dance floor. She moved as she had been taught
in class, experimenting with the hip thmsts and the bump-and-twists. She
could find as many beautifW young male partners as she wanted, and when
she caught a glimpse of herself, svelte body, turbaned head caught in a
pose, for an' arresting moment she thought she'd seen someone
interesting. Though she liked her silhouette, flat and sparse, she 160
feel something was missing. She didn't know what it until one inglit she
saw a young gwl wearing a R    r embroidered peasant blouse. Her nippled
breasts ","looked back at Anne like another pair of eyes, and Anne
wanted them. Two exactly like those! Not too small, not too large, just
perfect. 'How much does it cost to have a breast implantTshe asked
Brenda. 'I thought yoWd never ask.' Brenda handed her the name of a
plastic surgeon. 'I've done a lot of research on ek ",the subject. When
you were dancing your head off the her night I asked some of the women
in the ladies' 'What did they sayT 'Not one of them was sorry. No one
had a complaint that they'd admit. They all recommended it highly.' 'And
pointedly?she laughed.I don't believe you. You just went up to some
Helga and said, "Pardon me, but are those real?"' 'Why not?' Brenda
opened her eyes wide in mock innocence. 'Should I have it done?Anne
asked. 'I don't think you'd be sorry, Anne!'Brenda said.Why you call
this Dr Tzaro tomorrow morning? He has xianexcellent reputation.' ;Two
weeks later, Brenda went with her to the office of -be f "I  amous
plastic surgeon, Pygmalion to the rich. Anne plied him with questions.
'What about the eel natural, Doctor? Do they feel an? Do the breasts f
soft? Will I lose any sensations, Doctor? Will I gain any ... and what
about the pain? How much pain is thereT Doctor, make me beautiful, was
what she ant. in his late thirties, studious ro was a man tanned.'For
the patient who considers all the 161 consequences of this operation, it
usually results in miraculous changes which they easily accept because
of their psychological preparation. I want to stress that, aspect of
plastic surgery to you,' he said. 'As for the procedure, it's done under
local anaesthetic in my operatory which is right here in this building.
You will be sleepy, or drowsy, because I will also administer a potent
tranquillizer, and there is no pain during the operation. Though
afterwards there is a certain amount of soreness.'
I She remembered how sore her breasts were after the miscarriage when
her body had provided milk for the baby she would never feed. 'As for
scarring,' Dr Tzaro pointed to a diagram of a breast, I prefer to make
my incision either here -2 indicating a spot at the lower edge of the
aureola - 'or here at the centre of the nipple.' 'Why the centre of the
mppleT Anne asked, shuddering at the thought. 'Me breast is designed as
a modified sweat          he explained. Its one function is to secrete
milk, whic it does, through the nipple. Therefore all nerves and ducts
are constructed to converge at this point. And if the surgeon incises at
that particular point, there is less nerve damage and virtually no war.
It's rather like the principle of the calm at the eye of the hurricane.'
She nodded, still sceptical. Ive done this surgery so many times that Im
able to msert the silicone-Jell sac into this small opening -2 he drew a
fine through the centre of the nipple -'and place the implant under the
existing breast tissue against the wall of the chest. I gland Therefore,
the normal functions of the breast and its normal sensitivities are in
no way compromised by the operation.' He got up from his desk and walked
to a matching 162 the opposite wall. Glancing back at he         Sow how
tall are YOU?, 'Five eight,'she answered. e opened the cupboard,
revealing several rows of  brassieres, each with the centres removed and
a plastic Abreast inserted into the opening.You may try these on, mid
determine what size you wish to be.'He handed her three of them.These
are the sizes I would recommend.' She almost laughed at his bizarre
version of Frederick's of Hollywood. She tried the brassieres on in t hs
dressing-room, wondering, Is tJiis what I'll be, a plastic person
augmented by modern techniques? Nevertheless, she chose a medium to
small size. Tlease understand that this surgery is often reversible,' he
assured her when she came out. He noted her reluctant expression. 'Many
women repeat these procedures several times, though I don't recommend
that.' too and shit because their breasts become            h T e I've
heard breast implants are unpleasant to He grinned at her broadly. 'Not
any more! Several of my colleagues have found a way to change all that.
You the bod  's natural defences form a protective tissue y d foreign
matter that's introduced into the ,N,4,amun any This protective. tissue
encapsulates the implant from the pletely and tries to reject it or
repulse it y Of course the body cannot reject the breast too much normal
tissue interferes. In the past always instructed our patients to remain
perfectly ,;'U during recovery and not to disturb the breasts. Q, X,
"Now we know that constant manipulation almost mediately post-surgery is
essential. This movement e ts encapsulation from occurring, and leaves
the t soft and normal, about as firm as, say, a pregnant an's breast.
I'll demonstrate the manipulation 163 technique to you. It is quite
simple, and it only takes thirty seconds once a day! She made an
appointment for the surgery. Chapter 14 164 back in Rome on January
third and arrived directly to his shop to pick up Anne's portfolio. He
well aware of how important it was to her, even he had been hard at work
in Milan, plagued with Of petty business difficulties       setting up
arranging for insurance meetings with Isconte's man. But his neglect of
her had caused him e most disbws. She was very special to him and he A
Aft an emotion very close to love. He knew Anne was ready for him -he
himself was not certain of the way felt. His divorce had nearly destroyed
him. He himself that no woman would ever be able to ""that to him again.
But then Betsey had been juely destructive. Right now he was happy with
the his relationship with Anne was growing. She too been deeply hurt by
her husband, and she came a different culture from his. He often found
her to understand. But he sensed in her an a dormant quality about to
waken. This showed in her designs, in the way she absorbed life around
her and learned to hicorporate elements it for her own benefit. The
change in her over past months was already remarkable. She was less
retinng and he could feel her outer layers and melting away, revealing a
lovely kernel of ood. 165 He wanted to do nothing to impede that growth,
though her talk of changing herself unnerved him. He passed it off to
her youth and her lack of experience. He wasn't fooled by the veneer of
charm that a life of glamour offered. Now that he was back in Rome he
would give her drawings the attention they deserved. He was amazed at
what he found. The inner woman, the one she did not show to the world,
was remarkable. Anne's designs were sensational! She'd used everything
she'd seen, adapting it in her own way. Her own unique signature was in
every fine of her clothes. And yet he couldn't help but smile. She had
clipped explanations, almost apologies, to each picture, describing how
she saw them and the manner in which they should be utilized, even to
the size of the woman they would fit and the market for which they were
suited, as if she had no confidence in the pure brilliance of the
designs. The stance of the models she'd drawn as tentative, their
posture demure. While the clothes blared in opposition. But they weren't
gaudy, oh no, they were merely brilliant. He was excited. He -couldn't
help it. The possibilities of manufacturing these clothes fitted exactly
with his own goals. Incredible, he thought. God just handed her to me.
Without even pausing to rest from his trip, he hurried over to her
apartment. He rang the bell several tunes before he heard a movement
inside the apartment. She came to the door dressed in a bathrobe. He
thought she looked tired. 'Alessandro!'she smiled. 'When did you get
back?' 'Just now,' he said, reaching out to embrace her, but she drew
back. 'Don't do that "Why notThe asked.'Are you ill?' 166 Anne led him
into the apartment and then turned to him. 'No. Itsjust that I've had
some minor surgery. my dear. Are you all right Tes,'she said.1 had a
breast augmentation., She was d of thephrase, ittook one to know one. AD
th colour drained       m      fad he stared at e fro his ce an 4,
'My God, Anne. WhyTHe couldn't believe she'd do stich  thing, and he
couldn't help thinking she'd a changed them before hed even seen them.
Her pleasure Meappeared and she stared at him with hostility. He with
his heart he'd been here to stop her. Vidwd I all He went over to her
liquor cabinet and poured himself 'Whisky glaring at her. Whatever could
induce a to ia;;Wr with nature? A person wasn't a set of keasts or the
wrinkles under her eyes. How could he make her am? Well, it was too late
anyway. He crossed the room to where she was standing, and .::,took her
hand, bringing it to his Bps. 'Anne, you are wonderful any way you are.
Can you forgive me for not here on the New Yr."? It was unavoidable, so
7 OWuy problems in Milan.' looked as if she didn't believe it was
unavoidable she nodded just Ow One nodded just the same. He would have
felt more  she nodded just the same. He would OVed if she'd been angry
at him, that would have J10"t she cared. No, he didn't understand her.
He briefly if her husband ever had. To you have any pain9 Would you like
to sit down?, he walked past him looking self-satisfied, and sat on ,J
sofa. qbere's still some soreness. It's only been a few Re wanted to
shake her, held never seen her like this. A'eame to tell you something!,
He caught her wary lightened his tone. 11 came to ten YOU ssion and you
are a wonderful designer!' 167 What do you meanT He indicated the
portfolio. 'They're marvelous, Anne! And I would like the honour of
being your partner.1 Her mouth fell open and he almost laughed."What did
you say? 'You and I are going into business together! I should like to
try to produce your designs, go into women's clothes along with my
menswear. I want to aim for the April prdt--porter!' Now it was her turn
to be astonished. She jumped up from the sofa and threw her arms around
him, pressing her face to his. 'You are a brilliant, adorable man! Did
you really like them? You don't think they're too simple or too
complicated, or too impossibleT 'They're a little bit of all those
things. That's why I like them.' 'I can't believe it,' she said, with a
squeal of excitement. Things don't happenjust like this. Do they? Don't
you have to sweat, and kill yourself, and pound the pavements with your
designs before someone gives you a chanceT He threw back Ins head and
laughed. 'WeM do plenty of that before we're through.' 'Oh, Alex, rm so
glad you're back. I missed you!'She wanted to kiss him, but she held
back. 'When do we get started?'she asked. 'Right now,' he said, reaching
for the portfolio, realizing that another opportunity had been missed.
'There are a few changes I'd like you to think about, and a few
clarifications.' 'Certainly,' she agreed. A few changes were nothing. To
be expected. She almost pinched herself. I never knew life could be like
this, she thought. 168 her new breasts were incredible. She couWt stop
at them, touching them as soon as the bandages were removed. They were
two marvelous playthings she could carry around with her everywhere she
went, .to be admired as much as a puppy or a baby in a Of course people
wouldn't pet or coo, or chuck her under the chin, but her own reaction
was worth all ajhe doubts and the pain. Her heart sang, 'Worth it, worth
it, worth iV She stood before the mirror. The skin on her breasts s taut
and tender, sending delicious tremors through per limbs as she ran
her hands over them. They weren't to large, they were perfect. She
examined the scars. Dr 'Tzaro assured her that they would fade and so
would the uncomfortable swelling. She took a blue silk blouse from the
closet and slipped it on, leaving it unbuttoned 61 the waist. No matter
how much she twisted and bent nothing slipped out. Then she tried on an
embroidered white peasant blouse like the one she had seen on the girl
in the discotheque. It was the first piece of clothing she'd bought
after the implant. Is it really th me? she wondered, staring at her
breasts through e m:niaterial. Coloured flowers ringed her chest, making
her breasts look like two soft hills in a field of daisies. Will I have
the nerve to appear like this in public? With breasts like these I can't
keep saying no. It was weeks before she could sleep comfortably on her
but she slept well nonetheless, always aware of the two mounds that rose
and fell as she breathed. Plastic surgeons were worth every lira they
charged, thought. And little by little she began to feel erently about
herself. Her shyness began to fade. er breasts weren't something to
cover or hide, they 169 were to display, and their existence affected
everything she did. She loved them! And was ffightened by them. She
tried explaining it to Brenda. 'I keep thinking everyone will point to
me and say, "Those are fakes" or "Why ever did you do it?" But rm
beginning not to care. Because of these,-2 she pointed to herself- Tin
admired as if people were saying rm damn lucky to have such a pair. I
caift get used to it! I find myself feeling exactly the same about me as
everyone else. Look at me, can you believe it?' When the newness
subsided and nothing drastic happened she became intrigued with what
other possibilities there might be to alter her even further. The fatty
deposits on either side of her legs that she had not got rid of came
under scrutiny. Once she took that first step the next one would be
easy. What did I have against plastic surgery? she wondered. What was I
defending against? Being like others9 We're all alike anyway. She'd hung
on to her self, her individuality, which was her. way of settling for
mediocrity. She'd been afraid to take the risk of competing in that
other world, so she put it down. How could she have known it wasn't
worth anything unless she tried it? Am I rationalizing9 she wondered. Is
it so terrible to be beautiful? Attractive people werent any happier
than unattractive people, but they were better off in certain ways. They
didiet have to make the initial effort. They were accepted first,
understood later. Why the debate? she asked herself Because she'd tried
the other way for nearly thirty years and it wasn't such a thrill. She
felt as if she was on the brink of something. Of what9 A better life'?
But there was no proof that it would be better amply because of
beautiful breasts. What in God's name, she thought, had she begun? 170
.Ptnne's agreement with Alessandro to rethink, designs turned out to be
a major undertakinsogmSehoef s ed UP for a course in Pattern-making at
Rome's ign Instituto Technica dell'Arti, and her Italian was forced to
improve. I had no idea what I'd agreed to,' she complained to Brenda
after days at the drawhig-board with nothing to show Cor it. 'My designs
can't be rethought, theyll have to be scrapped. I've lost my expertiser
'What did you expect!' Brenda asked. 'You've had no real exposure, or
training, and yet you think you can design for other women9 You're not
even devoted to clothes! To be a designer you've got to eat, sleep and
dream about clothes. rm amazed you've got this far.' Anne stared at her
in surprise. 'There's no need to attack me! What's wrong with youT wn n
'Nothing!' Brenda exclaimed, dropping do         o the and closing her
eyes. 'Everything! I'm tired and I'm and Im homesick!' e  was unprepared
for this. Brenda was so ble.What is it?' 'Brenda opened her eyes.'AR my
life I've loved clothes. I as pn e myself on my taste and my
resourcefulne , and I Zuess I've always harboured a desire to pursue the
field of But where I grew up intellect was stressed, the ics, the
religion, the debate. I convinced myself that clothing business was
ignoble, a waste of my talents. ow here you are, designing up a storm,
and damn good it .'She sighed.1 guess I'm envious as hell!' the got up
from the table and came over to sit by her 'It takes a real friend to be
honest. Thank you. But I e a confession, too. I'm seared. I could use
your help, t I've been embarrassed to bother you.' They both at each
other and Brenda laughed, until Anne her. 171 'You see what a dope I am?
rm dying to help you! . And my best advice would be to follow your
instincts. They're sounff To you think so?' 'Yes!' 'But I want to sell
what rve designed. I want to appeal to a wide market.' 'Commercialism
versus the artiWs integrity? Youll have to compromise my dear,'she said,
doing a Groucho Marx. Anne sobered a bit. I hope not too much,'she said.
Chapter 15 172 Frederico Segn was a self-made man, as self made as any
Jew with his heritage could be. His family game fi-om Modena where his
father owned a small ry store and where the Segri family had lived
generations. But during the war when anti- became a reality and life
changed, they moved south and then after the war settled in he was
eighteen years old, his father chose a for him, and he married the
daughter of a family friend. The - families arranged the marriage
between Frederico and Elimbetta, Gianna. Elizabetts. was not the girl of
his dreams. She was neither blonde nor .pretty, but he hoped that they
would come to love each .other. At first he. was pleased by his
marriage, by the way Elizabetta set up their home and by the- way she
deferred to him. He enjoyed being the man of his house, and was content.
But with his growing contentment, Elizabetta became demanding and
spoiled. She picked on him for his habits, and admonished him for his
faults. She too had broken dream Elizabetta separated her duties from
his in their age and in their home. Soon there was no sharing life with
her and very little joy. She resented his for arranging their marriage
and she wouldn't them. When Frederico went to see them, she would 173
scold him about it for days. She complained of the housecleaning, but
she woulIn't let him help her. She hated their tiny apartment, though
they were fortunate to have it as Italy was recovering from the
disastrous effects of the war. It was there in that apartment that she
bore him two beaudU sons. Sons to carry on his name, and his religion.
Sons who would listen to him and respond to his patient teaching and Ins
enthusiasm, sons to work for, to build a life for, Angelo and Bernardo.
Before he was twenty-one Predenco knew that a life of selling groceries
was not for him. He wanted more for himself than the meagre income he
could obtain as a storekeeper, though the Segn family was better off
than many of their friends and relatives. At least they had survived.
And with Predenco's great zest for living he began to pursue money, not
for the things it would buy, but to give himself the means to attain a
greater taste of life, to be able to revel in and enjoy life's
pleasures. He was a sensualist in the true meaning of the word. And also
devoted to his religion. The hours he spent in prayer brought him as
much joy as his hours studying and his hours sitting in the park or
lying on the beach. There was no fi-eedom to practise Judaism when he
was growing up in Fascist Italy. He never knew what it was like to
worship openly until after the war when the temples reopened. Suddenly,
after so many years of repression, to be a Jew was no longer a sin
against the State, something that could cost him his life. The fi-eedom
of worship was so important to him, and his gratitude at liberation was
so intense that he became zealous in his devotion to God. He also
believed that God wanted him to be fulfilled and that is what he set out
to do. He was an expert gambler. When the stakes were he was at his
best, though he eTUoyed superb over his gambler's urge to go one more
hand, one throw of the dice, one more turn of the wheel, and, later, to
make one more investment. He did what other men only spoke of doing, but
were seldom able to accomplish: he accepted his losses. As much as he
loved winning, as excited as it made him, when the dice were cold or the
cards or the deal wasn't working, he would -bow out. That was the secret
of his success, that and an innate shrewdness and sense of fair play.
Brenda had those same qualities; that was why she fascinated him so ,.
She was the only person he had ever met who knew Justinctively when to
stop. Frederico made his original stake in life because of his refusal
to accept defeat. When he and Elizabetta were married just a few years
he decided to better himself, to find another opportunity for
advancement, even though post-war Italy was rebuilding itself and
unemployment was a serious problem. The veterans returning from the war
were given most of the available jobs, but one day Frederico heard of an
opening for an Iapprentice clerk in a bank. Contrary to anti-Semitic
pnpaganda, very few Jews were in the banking business in Italy, though
one of the largest banks in Italy, Banca Commercia Italia, had been
founded by two ,GWman Jews. Frederico applied for the job along with
twenty-five other men. The testing and interviewing was long and tedious
and by process of elimination the field was narrowed down to Fredenco
and one other soon as the other remaining applicant info      the bank
manager of Frederico's religion, the r made his choice. It was not
supposed to be that way. Reparations were i g made to survivors of the
war, property returned, money paid, jobs offered. But anti-Semitism was
a way 174 175 of life not easy to suppress. Frederico lost the job. But
before he left, he requested an appointment with the bank manager,
Benito Ponti. 'Signore, I wish to have a brief word with you., The
manager indicated a chair. Frederico declined. It seems that I was
highly placed in the competition for the job as an apprentice clerk, he
began. The man `;07/' nodded. 'You placed second, Segri. That is almost the
best.' 'My scores were very highT Txcellent!'Ponti exclaimed, bending
over backwards to be generous. My interviews went well?' 'You made a
fine impression.' 'I would have been an asset to your companyT 'Signore
Segri,'Ponti sighed, growing impatient with praising a Jew,you made a
fine showing, second only to our choice for the job.1 'Then you will have
no reason to refuse me a letter Of recommendation?' Frederico asked.
Ponti's eyebrows shot up. 'What for?' 'Why, to secure a job in another
bank, or perhaps even here when there is an opening.' 'But that is most
unusual,'Ponti sputtered. Segn stared at him. Do not give me excuses.
can your secretary and dictate to her the most complimentary letter
about me that you can manage. I want it to say that only an arbitrary
decision made you choose the other man over me and that you would employ
me in a moment if there were a spot available., 'I can't say that,'the
manager said. 'I refitse to do iV 'Youcan do it, all right! You told me
that my tests were excellent and that I made a brilliant showing and you
and I both know why I wasn't hired. I happen to 176 have many Jewish
accounts in this bank that you I can get them all withdrawn. I can take
my story to K the American newspapers. I have a friend who is a reporter
and    I will even protest to the provincial government.    Your
attitude against my people is extremely unpopular at the moment.'
IStop!'Ponti stammered, caught in his own device.'I'll write your
letter, but don't ever let me see you in this bank again.' Segri
acknowledged his victory with a polite 'Thank But it was a sweet
victory. Armedwith his letler of r ecoin mendation he applied At Banca
Moderna Italia and was given a job. After ten years he was a major
stockholder at BMI and at Ponti's bank as well. Unfortunately, Ponti
didn't live to see it. And now here was Brenda, so bold and brash. She
reminded him of himself She was always prepared whatever   the topic,
she knew her quotes and her Vompanies and when she didn't know, she
listened. And always she looked at him admiringly. He didn't flatter
liniself that her devotion was anything more than hero- .,,Worship. At
forty-eight he was not as handsome as he to be, though his silver liair
added a touch of distinction and women found him appealing. He kept 'his
body in shape, for himself really, since most women didn't interest him.
Occasionally he went to a prostitute, but in the last few years that
happened less and often. The beautiful young girls some of his
colleagues kept as mistresses seemed like children to 'him They were of
another generation and he thought friends were foolish for bothering
with them. Elizabetta hadn't improved with age. To the contrary, ir
wealth had brought out her tyrannical streak. She her money as a weapon
against their less wealthy tives and basked in the glory of the
attention paid to 177 her by the women of their synagogue. Frederico had
been president of the temple several times, so Elizabetta thought of
herself as Signora Is. Presidenta. Fredenco practised extreme tolerance
with his wife's behaviour; she was part of him and he never imagined a
life without her. Not until he met Brenda. He began to contemplate what
it would be like if he'd married a girl like Brenda. To lihn her blonde
curly hair and fall bosom were beautdW. And he found excuses to have
her near him. Frederico, like most bankers, had a conservative approach
to life, but he wa=1 conservative with Brenda. She demanded openness and
honesty from him because she knew no other way and he responded to her.
They talked easily of their feelings; she was so candid that he held
nothing back. She would come and sit in a chair in his office quietly
observing him for a tame while he worked, and then suddenly she would
say, 'I know you're going to approve that transaction,' and he would
approve it and wink at her and something intimate would pass between
them. One day they were alone in his office when he turned to her. OMere
is something I would like to discuss with you. I haven't shared this
with anyone else because those whom I value would not give me an
irripartial opinion in this case. Will you listenT She nodded, wondering
what he was going tosay. 'I have been asked to do business with people
whom I abhor. Ul do not accept their request, someone else will. It is
not uncommon for certain of my associates to enter into similar
arrangements, but it goes against me, personally. I have spent many
years building my financial position. I am not without certain
connections, but this deal will place me in the league of companies like
Lazard Frbres, Warburg of Belgium and the 178 ilds. And yet it means I
must go against I believe in.' Her eyes reflected her concern. What is
itT one Emir of Blutamin wants me to co-finance oil rifineries in his
country.' 'An Arab?' He nodded. 'You see the implications.' She saw
flashes of murdered Israelis, pictures of bombed kibbutzes, Zionists
collecting money on the gomets of New York after the73 war.'Do you mean
that Jewish bankers deal in joint ventures with Arabs? Financing
projects in spite of politics?' 'Yes. The loyalties of money are
,'6AIthough these things are never publicized and there is AaIwAys the
risk that they could nationalize our refinery mW our investment along
with it.' "When must you decide?' a flew months. rm.meeting with the
sheikh in August on the coast of Italy.' ToWve already made up your
mind, haven't youT He smiled. I wanted you to know about it.' you for
your trust,'she replied. She knew she have been appalled, but nothing
this man did ... 11111111,011 IVrong ed       to her. was just
wondering, Brenda, if youV consider Accompanying me on that trip.' 179
Chapter 16 'Cafformans an not fashion-conscious,' Anne complained. 'I
have to make an effort to train myself to see hat you notice natumlly,
Brenda. Perhaps its because don't have four real seasons, and no need
for separate "wardrobes. We wear the same old thing year after year it
still works. And if it doesn!t work, who notices?' he laughed. I think
the only fashion craze that ever Jhade it to LA was the mini-skirt. And
that's because it "pealed to everyone's sexual fantasies rather than to
their fitshion sense.' I hated mini 'Brenda said. And, I hate being so
undercapitalized. If Alessandro some money we could buy our fabrics
before we the clothes and I could use the textures and Onts for my
inspirations, instead of using muslin and materials to make samples. How
can I tell what going to beT She plucked a muslin sample from .,the
chair next to her drawing-board and tossed it to :enda. caught the dress
and held it up, inspecting it and back. She was worried about what Anne
was to say next. This isn't so bad. At least you're not with expensive
fabrics! sighed. I know, but it's like working backwards. Alessandro
would listen to me. rve offered to my own money so we could buy the
material now, 181 Ir before the patterns are completed, but he won't
hear of it. He doesn't believe in taking money from a woman. Something
about it being dishonourable. What antique chauvinism!' 'Thank heavens
for small favours,'Brenda said under her breath. 'I heard that.' 'Why
don't you have the clothes modelled? That might help you to visualize
them.' 'No money. And without models I can't get a proper perspective.
There's got to be some way I can get some feedback.' 'You could wear the
clothes yourself,' Brenda suggested. 'And I could photograph you in
them.' Anne liked the idea. 'It's worth a try. Well use my Olympus, rent
some indoor lights and a tripod. At first she was only going to wear the
clothes, and walk and turn and sit. But the more she planned for the
photo session, the more she realized that the clothes demanded a total
look, not just a body inside them. So she experimented with her hair,
trying it in different ways, and using more make-up than she'd ever worn
in her life, just for effect. The session itself was exhausting, between
the s!ttig up and shooting, and posing and arguing, and pinning the
clothes. But for the first time she had moments when she felt it was all
coming together. And she waited anxiously for the prints to come back
from the developer, as if they would not only provide the help she
needed with her work, but would also show her the way she had fantasized
herself during the session. She was looking forward to seeing one
particular pose when she'd worn her own leather pants and a ruffled
chiffon blouse. Her nipples were exposed through the sheer 182 her head
was lowered, and her eyes were gazing under her brow as she'd seen
models do. She'd felt sexy! Brenda picked the prints up on her way home
from :work. She was all smiles. 'I think they turned out wonderfuRY!'she
announced. 'Some of them especially.' clothes did look beautiful but
Anne was ed. At a glance she could see how awful she .49WEed The muslin
fabric and cheap acetates might be adequate to test the patterns, to
illustrate what was waviting and what wasn't, but they did nothing for
her at all. She could hardly look at herself Her nose was too iiwninent
for her thin face, even with the tailored smile -mul sultry expression.
A wind machine wouldn't have 'helped. Her profile was a disaster. For
the first time in 1her life she admitted it, she was a chinless wonder.
And if she was not exactly chinless, her chin was definitely Mceding.
She was in despair. How could she have been so blind all-her life,
telling herself her looks didn't matter, that 'she was attractive enough7
She'd always known she k*Wt, and now it faced her in glossy colour.. The
woman . 1;   who stared back at her from the photographs rwas painfully
imperfect. She went to Dr Tzaro for her check-up. I've been thinking of
having my nose done,' she said, certain he VIOUld scoff at her, say that
It was ridiculous and wecessary.'What; do you think?'she asked. Could I
be rov I'Med9' TP you do the nose, Anne, you must consider your chin
ell.' He turned her head to the side, studying her M    Yes, it would be
a definite improvement., turned back and stared at him. He was only that
because he was in the business. But she never know that.'When do you
have an opening?' 183 'Both? You're crazy, Anne!' Brenda wailed, panicky
at the idea that she had started all this. 'What if it turns out badly?
What will Alessandro sayT '"Badly" is better than being the same as I
was. I don't want to be the same. Besides, look who's calling the kettle
black. And we both know what Alessandro will say. But he'll get over it.
A beautiful partner is good for business.' 'Give yourself a chance,'
Brenda pleaded. 'You haven't tried out your new body yet. Why don't you
wait a while for a new face? You might change your mind.' 'What's the
matter, Brenda, are you jealous? Afraid I'll be really prettyT Brenda
was surprised by the question. Perhaps she was a little envious. 'I just
want you to be sure of what you're doing. I don't believe you've given
it enough thought! 'It is what I want, Brenda. I'm as sure about this as
I'll ever be.' But the morning she was to go into hospital she felt
terribly ill. 'You can still call it off Brenda insisted. This was a
forewarning of disaster. But Anne shook.her head. 'Let's get it over
with, before Alessandro finds out.' 'You didn't tell himT 'It was hard
enough to convince myself.' She was partially awake during the surgery.
They administered local anaesthetics and a sleep-inducing drug. The
first shots pricked a little. The sound of scraping and the pressure of
Dr Tzaro's hand holding the instruments were painless. Her teeth stood
exposed, lower lip drawn back. 'I'm giving you a cleft in your 184
Arm.'She waited for the moment when he would The bone inter nose. She
had been warned of it, various versions of what it sounded like, felt
like, but she must have slept through it. He let her see herself far, a
brief second before he bandaged her. 'Now don't nwm, don't smile. There,
do you seeT Her mouth was y arid sticky and her lips were numb,
immobile. She Wked how she looked, noticing the surgical cap around bw
hair. Too quickly he covered her up, afraid of an emotional moment. The
swelling and bruises hadn't begun yet. Later she couldn't remember how
she had looked. Even though she tried. She knew that the lights had been
bright, and witnesses, students and interns, had stood by, interested in
the changing more than the _ohinge their next procedure awaited in the
wings. Putting off her reaction was not as easy as she'd Dr TzaWs words
nagged at her. 'if you have a in your septum, the surgery cannot correct
it. -At whict it will exaggerate it. Yours is very slight. Everyone
hassome irregularities. You may expect the swelling to remain for some
time.' was ffightened of deviation. The bandages felt to her Would it be
straightlP she wondered. I.Ae hoe so - please, no deviations! I must
have been crazy, she thought, plunging into this without hesitation,
ashamed of her vanity and the need to look beautiful. She had been harsh
in herjudgements ofother women who'd had cosmetic surgery. How vain, how
insipid, how much alike they all looked. Dr Tzaro told her that a fi was
not only limited by his ability and his n 'K -11, of what would look
best'for the subject, but by the of the nose and face he had to work
with. A could only be changed so much by an implant, a shortened only to
the point where it didn't pull the 185

upper lip out of shape. Oh great, she'd thought, I'll end up looking
like a chipmunk. But Dr Tzaro was a master and he believed Anne's
structure to be quite adaptable. 'We make a good team, Dr Tzaro,'she
told him when she awoke in her room. Her voice assumed a hard-edged
brittleness that was unlike her. 'You don't seem very happy. Are you all
right?' 'I get lonely when I'm scared,'she admitted. The taste of
temporary blindness from her bandages frightened her right now. Tihat
are you afraid ofT 'Having it not matter, having it not make a
difference.' 'It will and it won't, he said. 'I doWt understand what you
mean.' 'Anne, if you depend on exteriors, only a mirror will make you
feel beautdW. How you feel about yourself, the image you project, is
what counts. No matter how you look, you must accept yourself. first,
and forgive yourself for whatever you think you've done. Then your looks
wozet matter.' She was groggy from the medication, wafting in and out of
sleep. She hadn't really understood what Dr Tzaro was trying to say to
her and she was sorry she hadn't told Alessandro. She wished he were
here. She felt Brenda take Dr Tzaro's place at her bedside. 'How did it
goT 'Not so bad. The worst part is not being able to see. And it hurts
to talk.' 'Then don!t talk!' 'Brenda, are you afraid of anything?.'
Brenda held her hand. 'I'm afraid of cancer. Or some other lingering
death. And of not being loved.' 'Not being lovedT 186 nobody loves me,
then I'm unlovable. That's everyone suspects about hunself deep ine.
Being loved is the most important thing in the world next to loving.
Because if someone loves you, he ,accepts you for what you really are.
My loving Barry is -what gave him peace of mind before he died. The fact
I loved him and that I would mourn for him were that y consolations _Ns.
on!                 . He had no children to leave bohind, he had no
business success to point to. He hadn't made any great discoveries. But
he had me. And I loved him.9 Anne heard the tears in her voice. She
didn't realize 11 what hospitals meant to Brenda. 11 only pray that
someone is there to love me when the time comes. Everyone wants love,
Anne thought. She realized for the first time how much she wanted it.
She wondered if she could find someone to love her, someone she could
love as much as she had loved Jeffrey. No. I don't want to love anyone
again the way I loved him. She was envious of Brenda's experience with
love, however brief. was more than she'd ever had. She. was told she
could go home after the eye patches were removed They had been on
twenty-four hours and It was such a relief to see again! Her eyelids
were purple ql:stood swollen, red eyes looked out through the wrapping.
'Wo shampoos for a while,'the doctor cautioned. It hurt to chew so she
sipped protein malts, vegetable juices, There was a throbbing in her
face and head, but ..'39 -subsided after a few days, responding well. to
aspirin ice paCir. KS. .vy.- rM a t if I don't like myse1V she worried.
ere'sing I can do! e antibiotics nauseated her, but she took them as 187
he directed to avoid any infections. 'The chin is the most vulnerable
area. Most prone to infection.' It was difficult to get comfortable. It
hurt to he on her chest, her face needed protection, and her behind was
still sore from the injections. Ten days till the stitches came out. She
took her pills, mashed-up melon and liquefied cereal. Brenda went to
work and left her every day. She'd never minded before. She told
Alessandro she had the flu and forbade him to come over. He sent her
flowers and fi-uit. But he was off to Milan again. It hurt her eyes to
read, but she read anyway, not Wanting to wallow in self-pity or dwell
on what she'd took like after. The Italian elections would be a farce,
or at best controversial. The Communists had a good chance. There were
three bombings in Italy in one day and a derailment in France. The Greek
Cypriots were threatening to resume their aggression with the Turks. The
US Ambassador to Italy postponed his trip to Washington. There was an
outbreak of cholera i in Turkey, another strike, machinists this time,
and everyone still discussed the Moro She felt homesickness sweep over
her. It had been nine months since she'd come to Europe and now she was
forced to let down her pace. She couldn't push herself to excel while
she was in a state of recuperation. She did isometrics so as not to lose
muscle tone, but the inactivity weighed on her spirits. The loneliness
muffled her, made her listless. 'You know this is only temporary, don't
youT Brenda assured her. She nodded. 'I can't find the phrases to
bolster myself. I haven't felt so low since my divorce.' 'It's only
normal, you know.' 'I know, but tell it to me so that I feel it. So that
it changes ine.' 188 have to do that yourself.' tried to smile, but it
hurt her chin. Se awoke that morning with a lighter feeling. This was e,
day! She almost smiled at Dr Tzaros prune-faced He didn't waste any
time. He laid her back on his t" and began to cut off the outer layers
of gauze. The 4 an her face felt sharp, almost indecent. As If she
needed the bandages to hold everything in place and now. she might low
part of herself that would fall off without support. It hurt when he
removed the stitches from her newly sewn nasal passages, worse than the
surgery itself. e gave her a mirror. 'There!' he declared, as she -sat
And she stared at two nostrils in the middle of her Her nose was pushed,
ski-SIMPled, towards her AVbead, her chin was witchlike, fit for a
cackling crone ,,Wa kettle of frogs'ears. .1t will settle down,'he said,
watching her dismay. She wanted to yell. She wanted to hit him. Oh my is
that me! She couldn't trust him or believe him. Whad made her a freak.
There is always a great deal of drop in the nose as it Wilks into the
healing process. I've compensated for then4tural gravitational
readjustment. Dontiudge it yet.' Don't judge it, she thought, choking on
her disappointment. What else can he say.? it will sink! She Ah her
heart sink through her abdomen. What about my chinTshe whispered through
clenched eih, Wanting to cut off at least an inch of it all the way It's
still swollen. You're having a mild reaction to the It sometimes
happens. You've had a lot of 189 surgery lately, you know.' He took her
hand. 'Calm down, Anne. It's always hard at first. You have to say
goodbye to someone you've known all your life, someone you're used to.
You're replacing the old you with one you don't know yet and don't even
like. You'll get used to it.' Her hands shook, her nerve was gone,
tossed into the receptacle along with the iodme-stamed bandages. What
did I do to myself? She cried very carefully. There was nothing she
could do but trust him, this barbarian butcher. But her nose did come
down. The swelling receded and the bruises faded. R was difficult for
her to notice the gradual changes. But Brenda could tell the difference.
She was effUsive with praise. 'Anne, you're beautiful!' 'Am IT she
asked, feeling the beginnings of her new life, a new package freshly
unwrapped, gleaming with the shine of untouched glaze, unmarred finish,
chrome trim, shiny and polished, no kicks, no scratches or touch marks.
Everything was different. Old men looked at her. Young men looked at her
and women turned all the way around to stare. People looked at her
everywhere she went, and it wasn't her retoned muscles. At first she was
selfconscious, checked herself for an open fly, bare breasts. But she
was intact. She tried to read their expressions. Was it interest?
Curiosity? Admiration? No, it couldn't be admiration. But it was! She
experimented with make-up; what an amazing difference it made now! She
shaded her cheeks, extended her lashes, put iridescent colour on her
lips, moulded her temples, and then the final touch by Gambrelli of Rome
himself, waves of blonde streaks, shoulder-length hair skimming her
throat. 190 got an appointment with the famous stylist by, monning Elena
Brisson's name - Elena whom she soon see. How would Elena react to the
new me, Anne wondered. Gambrelli's services were expensive, ...but she
wouldn't trust this important addition to some unknown crimper. She sat
in the swivel chair, watching him work. Was Eliza Doolittle happy at the
Royal Ball or was erbbe too busy thinking, How do I look? Is my gown all
;light? My hair? Will I remember what I've learned? .-What do they think
of me? There was so much to keep in mind. Be careful with the profile,
be careful with the stare, and especially the smile. She stood outside
Gambrelli's door still amazed by the .-reaction she'd got just walking
through the salon. She -7took long, careful strides and waited
unconsciously for o.recognition. She could see the look on every face:
Who is that beautiful woman? she knew they were thinking, as every head
turned. I'll tell you who she is, Anne thought, she's the elegant,
desirable Anne Mayo Scott. She was beginning to fall in love with
herself But most of all, best of all, wonder of all, she loved her
Aigns. When she went back to work, it was so simple. Ibejust hadn't seen
it before. A sash, a dash, a tie and a 'Ost made all the difference. For
the first time the she designed were really for her. Not just for
,others. They wouldn't make her, she would enhance Even Brenda had to
admit to the difference. 'They're really good!'she announced.
lknow,'Anne answered. 191

Chapter 17 AJW wandro was having more difficulties in Milan. And usual
he was running out of money. Tm April pr6t--porter was slated for the
twentysecond and he. was expecting the large payment from 14M on the
fifteenth of March, or at the latest by the eighteenth. After he paid
back Visconte's loan and vowuped his own capital he'd have enough to
begin the pow line. They might be able to raise some working aptal based
on Anne's finished samples. That would give them only four weeks to
purchase their fabrics, and ,'A t. and finish her samples, provided she
didn't need to more work on them. Too close. But ifthey had the
,11111i.,ids now, these extra few weeks could mean the ,,-11,11 1,
between being ready and missing the whole He wouldn't need much, and he
could repay it away w only one place he could turn. And he as that Elena
was still grateful to Anne for saving life. One could never tell with
Elena, she might have b now or she might be at peril's door. He hoped y
her by phone. reach 'Aa Asandro!' Elena said, with more enthusiasm than
expected. She was surprised at Alessandro's call. was afraid he might be
asking to come for a visit. R    an YOU, MY darline. It's been too
long!' 193 I 'Elena, rm not calling to be invited to Villa Brisson.'
Alessandro believed in getting to the point.I've another request.t She
paused.'It's money again, isn't it, dear? I can hear it in your voice.'
She lapsed into her standard refusal speech. 'Now you know I've such
limited funds, Alessandro, my cash is totally unavailable at this time.'
He interrupted her before she could shut out every possibility. 'It's
not for me, Elena. Do you remember Anne Scott? The young woman who
beffiended you lost summer?' Elena's voice changed subtly. 'Of course I
remember her. Have you heard from herT 'Yes. She's living in Rome, and
shes been studying to be a designer.' 'In RomeT Why hadn't anyone told
her about this'? TVhat kind of a designerT Her curiosity was inflamed
and her heart beat harshly at the mention of Anne's name.'How long have
you known she was in RomeT she asked sharply. 'Oh, not long,' he
replied, sensing her jealousy. Elena was always possessive.But I have a
feeling that she has talent. A great deal of talent, as a fitshion
designer.' Elena's laughter was shrilL 'Irhat child a designer! Oh, my
sweet Urd, that's the most amusing thing you've ever said.'A picture of
Anne as she was in Paris came to mind, Anne in those Loeviskirts and
flowered prints. God, Alessandro must have lost his mind! 'Id suggest
you ask someone whose opinion you respect, dear. Call Andrea Odicini,
tell him I sent you over. He give you advice. And I'll bet hell say to
forget the whole thing. Better yet, send me her address and I'll invite
her down. Though her ingratitude over my last invitation galls me. Does
she think I invite just anyone to Villa Brisson?' And then the
realization overwhelmed her 194 was in urope E       and that she could
see her and A filled with unreasonable joy. It was the first news she'd
had all winter. 'Jena, Anne needs backing. Not much, five or ten Hion
lire to get us started, and only for a very short time. That's not much
considering what you owe her, am is itThe asked. 'I would gladly provide
it myself if I But everything I've got is tied up right now. In I Will
guarantee to pay you back in just a few :Wgeks. rm due to colled some
money by the middle of ::.-Mona thought for a moment. After all, it
wouldn!t to have the obligation reversed.Could you send me some of her
work? Something I might seeT A told you she's good, Elena, but she would
never you to help her. If she knew I'd asked you, she'd fuse. Youll have
to take my word.' not good enough. This is money we're talking 2 about!
Ifyoull show the designs to Odicini I'll accept his opmon, but only
then.' Sut I dont want another designer to see her work. ideas are
unique.' don't be ridiculous. Andrea wouldn't want to copy ",'.Vthing
Anne might do. If he says she's good, I'll send some money.' "All
right,'Alessandro agreed. Its very kind of you!' one small favour you
can do for me in return.' !'he offered. Anything."  convince her to
accept my invitation.'  I can't spare her right now. We have so much
toAre April, and then we'll begin our production.' .Iu hen she can come
in May, in time for Cannes.' do what I can,'he agreed. in do,'she
said.'We shall have a lovely time.' "'., Wi. youll wire the money right
away?' 195 'As soon as I hear from Andrea, love!' she promised, feeling
actually happy. Ah, there was some hope after all. Anne was bringing the
designs to Milan herself; she would not trust the mails with her
precious cargo and Alessandro waited for her with anticipation. When she
told him about her additional surgery he couldn't help trying to imagine
what she might look like. But nothing could have prepared him for what
he saw when she got off the train. This was not Anne, not the girl he
knew. That soft doe-eyed woman had disappeared and in her place was a
beauty! His heart was aching in his chest. He had waited too long! This
beautiful woman would never love him. She came walking towards lum and
the closer she got the more she reminded him of Betsey. He felt that
sudden rush of anxiety that the sight of Betsey used to cause in him.
But she was Anne after all. He held her away to look at her. 'It is
wonderful my dear,' he assured her. 'You are magnificent.' She seemed to
be waiting for something but he was too shaken to figure it out. 'rm so
relieved to hear you say that. There is still some swelling, and. . .'
'Don't apologize!'He put his arms around her, feeling tenderly
protective. But she pulled away. 'Tell me some good news,'shejoked.
There was a high colour in her cheeks, and he could sense her
nervousness. He was nervous too, on unfamiliar ground. He never would
have believed her appearance could have made this difference, caused
this awkwardness. But they were still the same people. 'I do have
wonderful news.' He waved for a porter to take her bags. 'I've raised
enough money to buy fabrics. We can begin cutting the samples right
away!' 196 ..Alessandro, that's wonderfiffl' she exclaimed. lbvdy
surprise this has turned out to be. I can't show them to youP I caWt
wait to aft them,'he said. 'Why don't we take off your things at the
hotel and get right to work?' SWW heir hotel room, after she had relaxed
a little, a and took her hand widre sat her down on the hit 'Axine  you
know how beaufflil you look. And - I ,,::"Wnver want you to think I only
cared about you for looks. But now, if I told you I cared, you might i"
my motives ... They are sincere, Anne, believe 'ffe shifted his head to
the side and smiled, leaning Uwardsher. AN his love was; there for her
to see and it almost hurt AP,Uok at him. She stiffened, praying, Not
yet, but he where he was. Abe sat there trembling, ignoring the intimacy
-m. His waiting seemed timeless and only Wits separated them, but a
chasm measured in those adm What is A9 She wondered. And finally she
broke d*Oommt and turned her head away.'I know you cam Alex rinjust not
ready yet.' why? he thought, and realized that again their Aft-'had
refused to collide. He put out his hand and she back to him.
'Partners?he said. she replied, and they shook hands. But .she feel so
sad? llied up  the sample bag and walked to the door followed him
silently, thinkin ahead to all plans. There is time, she thought. And
she felt to.him than before, wishing he was more than her glorious to
be in Rome in the spring, Brenda as she drove her new hat through the
familiar .1. V. ul::, 197 streets on her way to work. Poets sang Rome's
praises, writers wrote plays and books about it, and even bankers were
susceptible to its charms. There was just a nip of coolness in the
morning air but she knew the afternoon would be bright and balmy. The
weather reminded her of home, but when she passed by the ancient rum of
the Forum, or one of the magnificent fountains of Rome, the similarity
ended. With Anne gone to Milan, Brenda felt wonderfully fi-ee. If only
she could have Frederico Segri there with her in the empty apartment.
She turned the car into the garage of Banca Moderns. and made her way to
her stall. Until the real thing comes along, she thought, my Friday
nights with Segn will dojust fine. There was a note on her desk to
report to Segri's office and her pulse quickened as it always did
whenever he was around. She tried to rQmain calm, as she summoned all
her extra abilities, gathered her scattered qualities, forced herself to
be doubly alert. He met her at the door of his office and kissed her on
both cheeks, something he did whenever they were alone. She loved it,
except that even in private he was so chaste. He looked at her
admiringly and she was glad she had worn her new flowered chiffon blouse,
and the mid-calf chamois skirt and matching boots. The outfit made her
feel springified. 'What have you decided to do about DuMonde?'Segri
asked. DuMonde was a Frenchman in financial difficulty due to a badly
managed business. The bank was trying to decide whether to wait, or call
in his loan. 'I have his accounts on my desk, if you'd like to see them.
But I've decided to give him time,' she said, steeling herself for his
disapproval. But he only raised an eyebrow. 'Why have you made this
decision?' 198 DuMonde showed genuine concern in my with him, and he
gave me every indication will make the payments on time if we allow him
i:. term of the note.' ,ii' that all? An emotional decisionT grinned
impishly. That, and his excellent laughed. 'Your timing is perfect,
Brenda. Much inaine.1 ie beamed with his approval. you all prepared for
today's presentationT he "Y'-fibenodded.'Anything special I should knowT
,,:?,11f you don't know it all by now, you haven't been ::0010 your
salary.' rm prepared,'she assured him. rve spent weeks "..:jeonrching
this loan application. I've become an expert 46a,"the restaurant
business. This is a small-scale partial 'AtOdW.se, East-food chain,
Italian style. I've done my work, and made a thorough investigation of
my AWWVs private finances as well as the corporation's. I lww, the
language of the business and the economic -qedions, as well as the
climate of the proposed h     If ;".i'.nhn in this midustry.'She was
enjoying erse as M Wed off her areas of knowledge. 'But what I bersofthe
ted to know from you is whether any mem Ab ,"'committee might give me
trouble.' -He gave her question some thought. 'I'm the toughest Alibvn
that committee,'he said. you? I didn't know you were sitting in today.'
Her gave an unauthorized thump. She didn't want to to perform in front
of him! Why hadn't he been when she'd made her report on the Auriello
ter Programmes for aerospace research? That n a bear of a presentation
to compile. 199 But Segri's presence in the meeting bolstered her more
than unnerved her. She fielded all their questions with expertise buoyed
by the challenge of her work, ever conscious of his eyes on her. All the
research really paid off. There was one thing she'd learned in this
business: there was no such answer as'I don't know'. If she wasn't
totally prepared with every fact and piece of information on behalf of
the applicant and if she didn't present it coherently to the committee,
the client would be refused his loan. Banks are in the business of
granting loans, that's how they make their money, so they are anxious to
find investments. But every factor has to be considered, and it was up
to her to search and uncover every possible contingency for success or
failure. If Marco Venuti was granted a loan to open his own
semifi-anchised restaurant and then couldn't fulfill his obligations,
her job, too, was at stake. 'You were very thorough, Brenda,' Segri said
to her afterwards. 'Do you think it will be granted?' He nodded. 'I
believe so ... Aie you free for lunch today? There's something I wish to
discuss with you.' She was dying to know what it was, but she controlled
herself enough not to ask. If it was 10.30 now, lunch was only fifty
years away. 'I wanted to take you some place special,'he said, as they
drove south along the river and then veered east through the new
residential district, past the Esso stations that lined the roadway, and
through the smaller townships with their cafes and garages and fruit
stalls, until the only visible buildings were farmhouses set in lush
green fields. They stopped at a roadside Pavesi market and marched up
and down the immaculate overstocked 200 an obscene variety of canned,
hot" a corked delicacies. Then they took the nearest nd into a grassy
field where Frederico located a butternut tree close by the road. He
pulled off to side and helped her out, and while Brenda watched 4.. the
President of Banca Moderna Italia waasement li blanket from his Citron
underneath the tree, two back rests for them, and spread out their took
off his jacket and folded it neatly over the of the tree, then he took off
his tie and opened his OAw. She caught a glimpse of salt-and-pepper body
and her pulse quickened. Take it all off, she Qwught longingly. sighed
with contentment. This is so good have needed such a diversion for a
long time. there's no one I would rather share it with.' was pleased
with his attention. But after 4mllng an the delicious foods, Brenda
finally said to ql is - wonderfully delightful, Frederico, but was it
you wanted to talk about?' .121114 was one of the things he liked about
her, she was diverted from the point. 'You know that I am and impressed
with your work.' He saw her to protest. 'Now don't be falsely modest.
You've a remarkable job of learning the banking business time. All your
apprenticeships have gone and you have mastered them well. I knew you
advance, but I had no idea. it would be this After watching you this
morning, I am that you can handle more responsibility. But are other
factors to consider. One, that you are a banking is a man's profession!
been, but I believe that should change. And you 201 might be one of the
women to change it. Some time in the near future, I shall have you
transferred to the corporate division, where- you will be under my
direct supervision. With the plan in mind to make you my special
assistant at some future date.' She would be near him every day. Be able
to work with him directly. It was more than she'd ever hoped! 'But how
can you do this? Arent there others better qualified than 1, whose
positions are in natural succession?' 'But they are not the ones I
want.'The look of rapture on her face was more than he could stand.
There was no doubt in his mind that he had made the right choice.
Neither was there any question that Brenda was a talent. And he was
beginning to wonder if his admiration for the vivacious, curly-haired
blonde was purely for her business acuity. A torrent of appreciative
words filled her throat, clamouring to be let out, but she swallowed
them. Finally, she managed to say, 'Thank you! I hope to be worthy of
your trust.' Later, alone in her bed in the empty apartment, she hugged
this special knowledge to herself, and relived every precious word,
every unforgettable moment. She thought she had caught a feeling of
something, a special something that was still unexpressed. And as she
lay there and her hand wandered over her body, across her full breasts
and lightly down to the soft mound, coming to rest between her legs, she
found herself murmuring his name,Frederico!' Chapter 18 202 "Alessandro
dropped Anne at the airport for her noon to Rome, and then drove to the
Alitalia air-freight meet the truck loaded with his order for Larry. it
Ww donel Jackets, suits, slacks and ensembles, neatly eked, marked and
invoiced. Sweet Jesus, he felt good. iW he'd done it on time! Larry
would have everything he expected it. with his proof of shipment and the
receipts for sent, he went directly to the Milan branch of of America to
receive his money. But the manager couldn't release it without a
notarization Rome. .."A    t's no problem,' Alessandro replied. III be
in tomorrow and I'll be able to transact everything Ulem., manager
looked relieved. There seemed to be discrepancy between what Signore
Massim was and the funds on deposit in the Oklahoma The manager didn't
want to have to go through ranc , international investigation to see if
the was theirs or not. Especially if the customer take the matter up
directly with Rome. evening Alessandro put a call through to Larry
wasn't there and he left word for him back. 'was    completely
exhausted. He hadn't realized 203 until now how getting everything done
on tune had drained him of his energies. He told the phone operator to
try the call to Oklahoma again in an hour, but before he knew it it was
the next morning and Larry had not called back. His plane landed at ten,
and it wasn't until close to noon that Alessandro appeared at the bank
in Rome. He was immediately ushered into the assistant manager's office,
but after forty-five minutes he was still waiting. 'Just a few more
moments, please,, Signore Fazio said. Three different people had checked
his bills of lading, read and reread the cost sheets, shipping receipts
and every piece of paper in his file. Alessandro looked at them in
disbelief signore Fazio,' he said finally, ny patience is wearing thin.
Could you please ask your superior to handle this transaction, or
someone with the authority to issue me my payment. Your bank in Milan
told me to take everything up with you here in Rome and that I wouldn't
have any difficulty. All that is needed is a simple notarization. The
papers are in order,' Alessandro went on.,Youve seen the export Customs
approval; here's the list of merchandise, witnessed and signed. The
shipping agreements are here, along with the note fi-om my associate in
Oklahoma stating that rm to be paid upon presentation of all receipts
and proof of shipment. What seems to be the troubleT Signore Fazio gazed
at him, his dark eyes hugely magnified by fluck glasses. Someone had put
him in an awkward position, very awkward indeed. 'All your papers are in
order, signore. But we cannot find an account under the name you have
given us. Could your associate be listed under any other name, or
business?' 'No! Of course not. His name is Larry Conley, and his 204
Limited, with three separate locations in Oklahoma. Here is his
signature and his 'He pointed to the letter of credit for the nodded.
'You see, signore, this letter is a note made out "To whom it may
concern". It is "official letter of credit issued by this bank or any
'-branches. If you can locate any bank where this has an account I'm
certain they will honour t, A' TeWest.1 was beginning to feel a nervous
twinge in P of his stomach. 'Doesn't it say, right here in this it that
Mr Conley's account is at the Bank of 91 it does,' Fazio agreed. 'But
that account was week. It may have been moved to some other Fazio
assured him, 'and you were not informed. if that is the case, this
letter you hold is of no y iasitonl authorizes our bank to pay you and
there .11o account to draw from.' W don'understand. When a letter of
credit is issued, that mean that the bank is obligated to make it
whether the holder of the account is solvent or Don't you verify the
credit of a buyer before you the credit to hiniT W, of course we do. But
this is not our letter! It is a letter between two people without bank
sanction I must have the money.' By this afternoon he owe Visconte
twenty-eight million, fifty-three -.,,.,Mmnd lire, including the
interest on the loan. He had My that debt. He'd been duped by Larry. How
could have been so stupid as to trust him? Yet he couldn't ve that the
man was a crook. ay I use your phoneThe asked. 205 'Certainly,'Fazio
agreed. He called New York Customs, charging the call to his phone,
hoping that it wasn1 too late to stop the shipment. But it had already
cleared. The shipment wouldn't do him any good; it was money he needed,
not the merchandise. But he wanted to prevent Larry from having it. He
had to get that cash today. Mother of God! What would happen if he
defaulted on a loan to Visconte? 'Is there anything I can do?' Fazio
asked, realizing that Alessandro was in serious trouble. 'Why don!t you
leave me a number where I may reach you? I'll make some inquiries on
your behalf concerning Conley Limited, and this Larry Conley. Then I'll
let you know what Ive found out.' Alessandro nodded and gave Fazio his
home phone number and the number of his insurance agent. He went directly
to his house and placed another call to Larry, but there was still no
answer. He called his insurance agent Gimmo Pasquale. . 'Calm down,
Massihi,' Pasquale said. I want you to write out an account of what's
happened in your own words and bring it to me as soon as possible along
with copies of all documents relating to the transaction to see if
you're covered.' 'But you issued the policy, Gimino. Caret you tell me
yes, or no?' 'There are some technical problems here, my friend. It
depends on whether your letter of credit was approved by our company. Is
our stamp on it anywhere? Or do you have any correspondence from us
referring to Mr Conley's agreement with your n be there soonl'He
promised. 'With all my papers.' But he knew there was nothing in the
file like what Pasquale mentioned. 206 I By the time he had written out
a history of the transaction and taken it to Pasquale's office, Fazio at
the Bank of America had called with some information. He returned the
call. 'It doesn't look good, I'm afraid,'Fazio plunged ahead. 'There are
no accounts under any of his names, either business or private, in all
of Italy. In order to check with the United States we will have to wait
a few hours until they open for business.' Alessandro thanked Fazio for
his help and turned to Pasquale anxiously, still unable to believe this
was happening.'What do you think?' Pasquale looked nervous.I've known
you a long time, Massini. But I must be honest. There will be an
investigation to determine if there was collusion on your part-'
Alessandro winced.'And then whatT Then we will determine the facts and
either we will pay or recommend non-compliance with the policy.' 'But
credit insurance policies are difficult to obtain, and I've passed all
your investigations. So did Larry Conley. You're obligated to pay!'His
voice was rising. Tahn down. As I said, there probably won't be any
difficulty, but it will take a bit of time.' 'I don't have any time!' he
insisted. 'My loan is due today.' 'Then ask for an extension. We can't
issue a cheque on the day a claim is made.' He frowned at the absurdity.
'Now, if the goods had been lost or damaged, it might have been easier
to make your claim on your maritime policy. But you say they arrived
safely' 'Yes,'Alessandro said. 'The goods cleared Customs as soon as
they arrived. Someone with proper identification and authorization was
waiting there to receive 1hem.'He put his head in his hands. 'I don't
understand 207 what happened. The man has three stores. He's been in the
business for years, buying all over Italy. I know some of his suppliers.
None of them ever had any trouble.' Pasquale looked through the file.
'He seems to have checked out initially. He did give you an advance
payment. He kept in contact during your entire transaction, but
businesses have been known to fail in a short amount of time. It's
difficult for us to judge, being so far away.' Sut you had him
checked,'Alessandro repeated. 'That's because you didn't want to
embarrass him by requesting an official letter of credit from his bank.
He told you he was good for the money and you believed him.9 'And he
passed your inspection!'Alessandro insisted. 'Then you have nothing to
worry about. When all the facts are in we will most likely pay the
claim. Or better yet, he might still wire you the money himself.1
Alessandro left the sympathetic Pasquale and went home. He dragged
himself up the stairs and fen across his bed, staring up at the velvet
canopy, feeling the trap closing in around him. Finally, an exhausted
sleep overcame him, blessedly blotting out his consciousness. The
telephone awakened him from a druglike stupor an hour later. It was
Visconte. 'Massini? It is nearly the end of our business day, and we
haven't heard from you.' Alessandro was instantly awake. I was about to
call and make an appointment with you.' 'To pay off the loanT 'Not
exactly.' 'Harry's Bar in thirty minutes.' The voice was steel through
the telephone. 208 Alessandro's hands shook as he poured himself a
brandy. He dialled Larry's number again. No answer. He called the
Oklahoma City Police Department. At .this time there was nothing they
could do for him, but they agreed to try to locate Larry for him. And
there was nothing he could do but keep his appointment with Visconte.
The taxi pulled up to Harry's Bar and Alessandro had barely paid the
driver when two very large men came up to him on either side. Each
grabbed an elbow and escorted him roughly towards a black limousine
parked at the entrance of Borghese Park. A clutch of intense fear
gripped him. There was no one around to help him. The two men shoved him
unceremoniously into the back seat of the car and slammed the door
behind him. Visconte sat inside. His son-in-law Rinaldi was on a jump
seat facing him. Alessandro's two escorts got into the front seat and
they drove into the park. ,well?, visconte asked, declining Alessandro's
offered hand. Alessandro used every ounce of will to appear composed.
Any doubt he might have had as to who Visconte was had been savagely
dispelled. Legitimate private lenders did not use these kinds of
tactics. He couldn't believe that Larry was involved with gangsters.
But he was learning lessons fast. The two men stared at him, waiting. He
met their eyes. 'Have you had any word from Larry Conley9 Anything at
all?'he asked. 'Not since the day he brought You to meet us, Visconte
answered. Alessandro's heart was pounding but he wouldn't let them know.
'I have learned, only today, that Larry Conley has not fulfilled his
business obligations with 209 me, and therefore I am not able to pay you
the money back for my loan until my insurance company makes good on my
claim.' 'Who do you think you're dealing with? A fucking Italian bank9'
Rmaldi interrupted, and leaned forward to grab his lapels. 'My
father-in-law never waits for his money-P Visconte held up his hand,
cautioning his son-in-law to calm down. 'Why don't you explain to us the
terms of your insurance coverage and the amount which you expect to
recover.' Alessandro told him the details, and Visconte never missed a
word. 'So ninety percent of your costs plus profits are insured, and
you had approximately ten percent of the total of your own money
invested. With Larry's ten percent deposit and our interest calculated
you!U be about eight hundred thousand lire in the red after you have
paid us back. Even for the Duke di Valdagno I have no intention of
becoming a creditor for any more time than is completely necessary.' 'I
say we do him now!'Rinaldi snapped. Alessandro never took his eyes from
Visconte's -face, trying to ignore Rinaldi. It was Visconte who would
make the decision, but Rinalch would carry it out. He shuddered
slightly. 'If you were not the man you are,' Visconte stated, this
meeting would never have occurred. We would have recovered our loan from
you in another manner.' He narrowed his eyes. 'But since you are a man
of reputation, and you do not have a record with us of... improper
behaviour, and since you are covered for the repayment of our money to a
degree, I will grant you an extension of thirty days, at an additional
twenty percent.' Alessandro could not allow himself to feel relief with
Rinaldi's hostility and displeasure so evident. But he nodded to
Visconte, thanking him. He knew without even figuring that the increase
of interest would be devastating. But at least they were giving him a
chance. 'Merefore,'Visconte continued,it will be up to you to make
certain that your insurance company pays off your claim within the time
period we have allotted.'The M was slowing to a stop in a secluded area
of the park, and Alessandro began to fear again for his safety. His
moment of respite was gone. I Rinaldi leaned across Alessandro and
opened the car door. Cool night air rushed in on his right. Visconte
indicated that he could leave. Alessandro was torn by the desire to
escape the altmosphere of danger and by the fear of what he would
encounter once he did get out of the car. 'You'll be hearing from me,'
he said, and without any further hesitation he nodded to Visconte and
Rmaldi. and swung his legs out the door. 'After this, you will not have
another chance!'Rinaldi said and gave him a shove. At the same moment,
the driver gunned the motor and the car leaped forward, peeling rubber
and throwing Alessandro to the ground. Frantically he rolled away from
the tires. He could feel a rush of air as the door of the car slammed
closed over his body, just missing the top of his head. His heart was
tearing around in his chest and the dust rose in Ins face to choke him
as the car sped away. Hejumped to his feet and ran for cover behind a
nearby tree, feeling the agony of shame in every bone. A Massini forced
to groyel in the dirt! Bastards! He waited there until the taillights
disappeared and he knew they were not coming back. Then he sank to Ins
knees in gratitude. He was shaking all over. Was he 210 211 dIoomed to a
life of these defeats time after time? Why go on? Because I must, came
the answer. And so he got up and brushed himself off and began to walk
towards the Via Veneto. Chapter 19 212 V,     IS bati bothering you,
Alessandro?Anne asked.Ever you came back from Milan you!ve been tense
and ,imoody.'He looked at her sharply, but said nothing. It was so
unlike him, she thought, this ill-huniour, w W it stirred a gnawing
question that she'd refined to acknowledge before. Now she had to ask
him. 'Is it my designs, Alessandro? Are theynot turning out as you!d
hoped?' 'Anne, I assure you, it has nothing to do with you.'He attempted
to smile, but his expression was forced. Her heart'was gripped more by
his valiant attempt at hotness than by his shortness of temper. She'd
never known him to lie before. Hit wasn't her work, what was it? 'I feel
as though you're shutting me out. And I i you. Is it anything I've doneT
she asked. There was a ,'sudden panic that it might all be over, her
future along with his devotion. Re was touched by her concern. Under
normal cir- he would be elated that she'd noticed his ':problems, that
she cared enough to want to discuss ,them. But she had no part in this
mess. And it was a mess. His life was torn apart. Disbelief had given
way to ration. He had finally reached Uirry's accountant Oklahoma, who
had spoken with sympathy, describ- 'a backslide to financial ruin,
unaware that had dragged Alessandro with him. arry's quite 213 a
gambler, you know!' Alessandro didn't know. 'He's always lived on the
edge of disaster, only this fame he went too far and lost his business!'
Alessandro wished the voice wasn't so clear in his ear, speaking truths
on the transatlantic with an Oklahoma twang. 'He must have picked up
your order in New York himself and sold it right away, had somebody
waitin' on him! Maybe even in Canada. He didn't have the money to pay
you anyway ... nobody's heard from him in weeks. There's a rumour he
called Ins lawyers and filed bankruptcy. Everybody's lookin' for him.
'Specially his wife's lawyers.'There was nothing Alessandro could say.
It was a sad tale of a man running scared, who had used his one last
chance to bail himself out. Except that Alessandro was equally desperate
and had no bucket with which to bail. At least Larry hadn't planned to
cheat me fi-om the beginning, he thought. Small consolation! And
tomorrow was the fifteenth of April. The loan and the extension were due
to Visconte, but the money hadn't come in yet from his insurance
company. How many nights were there in a month? An eternity of cold
sweats and palpitations. Nothing could dissipate the sickening terror
that lay in the pit of his stomach, rubbing his nerves raw with every
screech of a tire, every shout in the street as he walked. At the
insurance company he was known as the crazy man with dignity; cold,
teeth chattering, muscles tight with tension, dignity. They had finally
approved his claim, but until the debt was paid his life was on the
line. How many times had he thought of runnine. Constantly! He longed to
lude somewhere until the cheque arrived, but cowardice was not a family
trait. And every moment, no matter where he was, he imagined a bullet
tearing into his brain, or a knife in his ribs, 214 happen. There was no
one in whom he it was too dangerous to involve anyone 'Gimmo Pasquale
had promised to push every button And pull every string to secure him
his money from the insurance, but he was terrified that it wouldn't
happen on time. They'll have to give me a few days' extension, be
thought. Visconte knows that I mean to pay him. But there was Rinaldi
to consider. Rinaldi would never wait! Alessandro couldn't escape the
reality of doom, nor could he be cavalier. They would kill him ifhe
didn't pay Ihem by the fifteenth of April. Finally he confided in
Pasquale exactly how much he owed and why he needed "the money on fame.
There was a terrible silence while Alessandro's stomach shot acid. ,
'You should have told me before,' Pasquale said, frightened that somehow
he would be blamed for this ,delay. TH get it for you, don't worryP I I
can't help worrying,'he said. His head was gripped by a vice, but for
the first time in weeks there was hope that he might still be alive the
day after tomorrow. And if he was, he would make everything up to Anne.
The prC-t-IL-porter was scheduled for next week in Paris, and he'd
managed to get their line into one of the best buying offices, plus he'd
secured a date for their showing right in the middle of the week, before
the splash of the opening coulct overpower them, or the exhaustion of
the week's end could bury them. Anne's reaction was a delight to see and
he longed to share her excitement, but he was merely going through the
motions until he was safe. Life had been a torment ever since that
moment he'd been pushed out of Visconte's limousine last month. How
could it be that all he had done should end like this? If he could only
make it through this week and pay his debt - extricate 215 himself from
terror - he would be in paradise! He would soar witlijoy, he would be
alive as he'd never been alive before! And he would finally declare his
feelings to Anne. He had held off long enough; her concern indicated
that she was ready for him too! The harsh sound of the telephone
awakened Anne, and shejumped out of bed. Good Lord, it was ten o'clock.
She had slept so soundly she hadn't heard Brenda leave for work this
morning, and Brenda was never quiet. It must be Alessandro calling to
find out where she was. She grabbed for the phone. 'Hello,'she said.
'Anne?' a man's voice asked, and her heart lurched. 'How are YOU?$ She
couldn't even talk, she couldn't believe it was he. She forced his name
from her throat. 'Jeff.? Where are you calling from?She sank down on the
bed in disbelief. 'How did you get my numberT She heard his laugh - what
a long time it had been. The sound vibrated deep inside of her. 'I'll
bet you're surprised to hear from me! But I decided what the hell, might
as well call while I'm in Rome. There's a symposium on psychosomatic
medicine. Thought I'd get in some skiing in Switzerland before I go
back. But midApril is a little late in the year even for Europe.' 'Oh,
you're skiing?' 'Yeah. Intermediate so far. It's my first year.' She
hadn't imagined his even living without her. It was easier to think of
him frozen in time. But his voice sounded alive. Too alive! He'd taken
up skiing, the religion of the singles' world. 'Hail Mountain Full of
Snow, My Skis are With Me. Blessed Be My Date for the Evening.' Jefrs
voice shot hot sparks through her. Get hold of 216 Anne      tt, it s o
y your ex-          come to rood, Sco         nI           husband
,Mwwn, your much-imagined, wondered-about, longed-for himband. She
looked up and saw herself in the armoire a ror. For a moment she'd
forgotten her own changes. ir 'Ant she too had been living all this
time. And this was a 4 ut she too ha :;3xRf-,moment she'd been waiting
for! Without planning, it happened, far more opportunely than any
fantasy. Ste felt her confidence return. She knew what she wanted to do.
10h, Jeff, forgive me for sounding so stupefied.' She cast off her line.
'I've been working such late hours, this laorning was I     catching up
on my sleep.' "You!re working?' He took the bait. 'What have you been
doing?' She smil     as she set the hook and let him take ed enough
line. 'Oh, Ill tell you all about it when I see you. ;W, Are you free
for dinnerT She ran down a list of what have to do today to get ready to
see him. She had a sh be          us -dixmer date with Alessandro, but
e'd goffj thave drink with him instead, before Jeff ... andthen ... oh
shivers of anticipation coursed through her. Jeff hesitated. 'Tonight?
Well, I did have a tentative , Her catch was beginning to tire. 'Oh,
can't you break T'She added just the right touch of disappointment.
dying to see you.'She began to reel in the line. Td like to see you too.
Unless you know someone to --oduce me to,, he asked. Same old Jeff. A
barracuda! IM have to check you out myselffirst,'she teased-'See
11,',.-,".i"'"', if you pass inspection for one of my friends.' 'You
know any good places?' wn Vo I? This is my to !'She pulled her catch up
to the R"' boat And wondered if she sounded any different to him.
'Sure,'he conceded. 'Dinner is fine.' With one big pull she hauled him
on board. He'll 217 make a beautiful banquet, she thought. 'Where are
YOU staying, Jeffl- 61The Hassler.' Vonderfiffl'she exclaimed. 'IT meet
you in the lobby at eight-thirty.' 'Don't you want me to pick you upT
'Oh no,'she said.I have an earlier date, so this will be fine!' 'OK, see
you then.' 'I'll make the reservation,' she announced. 'They require a
tie.' He sounded surprised as he said,'All right, goodbye.'
'Bye-bye!'She smiled as she depressed the phone and then dialled
immediately for a hair appointment. What to wear? Everything great was
in the collection. The three-piece ensemble? No, too covered up. It's
got to be sexy, whatever it is. The black! she thought. I'll get Dominic
to finish it today. rlI do the hem myself. She called the shop.
'Alessandro? I'm sorry. I over- slept.' She sounded as if she had drunk
champagne for breakfast. 'I won't be in till later tday.' 'We need you
now, Anne!'He was exhausted. 'We've been holding off on three different
decisions until you try them on yourself.' She knew what he meant. 'I'll
take care of them all, but something's come up.' She hesitated, hating
to do this when he sounded so disturbed. 'I can't make dinner tonight,
Alex. An old friend is here from California and we have so much to catch
up on."Why not the truth? No, it wouldn't help to add to his worries.
'But I can still meet you for a drink. About seven o'clock?' 'I don't
know, Anne. It may not be possible.' 'Oh, please, Alessandro. We must
talk. Have you been home since last nightT 'Only for a few hours.' 218
can hear it in your voice. I want you to promise me get some rest today.
You can't keep pushing yourself like this.' 11 have a lot to do today.'
Vbat about our dateT sit m expecting a call from my insurance agent. If
it OOMS in before noon with good news, I can make it. If ao th I won't
be able to. What time will you be in the en rid-afternoon.' That would
give her time for her a new pair of shoes to go with the dress, a
facial, and a leg wax. 'All right,'he said. 'III know by then.' When
Anne arrived at the shop at three there was a note fivin Alessandro:
Wonderful news! All is well. Meet you atour place' seven o'clock. Gone
home to sleep. A. What wonderful news? she wondered. She had been well
aware that Alessandro had been troubled lately, but whenever she had
asked him what was bothering him he had evaded her. Perhaps it was all
resolved. That would be wonderful! In fact, today was a thoroughly
,,,"wonderful day! Nothing could go wrong! She took the black dress out
of the closet. Long and elegantly draped black silk jersey, slit from
throat to maist, with multicoloured cords that wrapped and tied around
the body. It was perfect on her. But there were some adjustments to be
made in the facing, so that it would he flat across the bust and not
gape open as she moved. Dominic and Rudy had worked it several different
ways, none of them right. She had an idea of 219 not using standard
facing material, but using the jersey itself, as a kind of self-face.
That might work better. Before she knew it, the afternoon was gone, but
the dress was finished. Just as she was about to leave, the phonerang.
'I'll get it,'she called out.Pronto!' 'Alessandro Massini, per favore.'
'Chiparla?' 'Gimmo Pasquale, Insurance Corporation of Italy. I am sorry
to bother you but Ins office said he might be with you, signorina.' 'his
not here, Signore Pasquale. But I will be seeing him in a short while.
May I give him a messageT Yes. Tell him the cheque I expected to arrive
tomorrow has arrived today! I am holding it in my hands right now. I
know he has been anxious about it and he could come to pick it up right
now.' 'I'll tell him. You're very kind.' 'Signorina, it's very important
to him to have the money. I don't think he can wait,until you find him.
I know he has an account at the Banca Commerciale Italia. Could you tell
him I'm going to deposit it in his account directly? R's very
important.' 'Of course. Thank you, Signore Pasquale.' Poor Alessandro.
So that's the strain he's been under lately. Anne added, 'Signore
Pasquale, I thought the shipment went to America and Mr Conley paid
Alessandro. DidWt Larry receive the goodsT 'Signorina, you must ask
Signore Massini about all this. Im not at liberty to tell. But it is of
the utmost importance that you tell him Ive deposited the money in his
account. Grazie, signorina.' 4PM90.9 By the time the tam pulled up at
the Hassler Anne was 220 a fever of anticipation. But a drink with
Alessandro' F- ,.Aould take the edge off her nervousness and put her in
exactly the right frame of mind for Jeff. It was coincidental that she
and Alessandro came here often ,enough to call it their special place.
Even if Jeff wasn't staying in this hotel she would have chosen the
rooftop Testaurant for dinner - it was a perfect setting. She was only
sorry that Brenda couldn't have met him. It was difficult to discuss an
ex-husband with a friend when they'd never met. . . 'You're crazy to see
him,' Brenda told her when she got home fi-om work and found Anne
dressed and ready to go. Td be crazy not to. I can't wait to see his
face when he sees me.' She laughed and ran her fingers through her
expensive hairdo. This is one chance I ,Vvrwllwt iniss!9 'Are you still
in love with him?Brenda asked. That stopped her. 'I don't think so.
After everything that?s gone on between us, and besides there's
Alessandro now.' 'Do YOU love him?' Anne nodded and then shrugged. Tihat
kind of an answer is that? Either you're in love vr you're noV It's not
that simple and you know it! I have a score to Isettle with Jeff. And my
relationship with Alessandro is still 'undefined'.' 'Don't you think
that's strangeT Not necessarily.' But she did. She blamed her own
reluctance for Alessandro's lack of commitment. 'I think you're playing
with fire by seeing Jeff.' 'Do you mean to tell me that you wouldn't do
exactly the same thing if you were in my positionT 'No,'Brenda
laughed.'I sure as hell woulff 221

Alessandro was sitting at a table in the comer of the bar and as he rose
to greet her his face came alive. He was so dear to her, so much of her
LIFE was involved with him. Why isn't all of me? she 'wondered. She
wanted it to be. Perhaps tonight would be the final test. Perhaps, after
seeing Jeff, that unknown element that held her back would be gone and
the way would be clear for them. Alessandro kissed her lightly on the
lips and it surprised her. Cheeks were his province. 'You look
beautiful!' he exclaimed. 'That dress is marvelous oni you. But homf
did you finish it so quicklyT He reached out to feel the facing on the
front of the dress, knowing this was the area with which she'd had
problems. But the facing felt soft and pliable. He forgot for a moment
that she was inside the dress and his hand touched the warm skin of her
breast. 'Alessandro!'she exclaimed, and he looked at her with surprise.
She laughed, and so did he. 'I'm sorry,'he said. The feeling of her
breast under the thin cloth had caught him off guard, filling him with
desire for her, and he was shaken by it. So was she. He had never
touched her before. 'You feel beautiful, Anne. Just as I knew you would.
Just as you've always been to me.' She looked away, but her heart was
pounding. She slid into the chair, afraid to meet his gaze. The waiter
brought her a drink. People were staring at her. They usually did
nowadays. Was Jeff one of them? She hesitated to look around but she
couldn't help but hope so. 'You must have had some good news!'she said.
'Tell me, please. What has been going onT 'I couldn't tell you before,'
he said, 'because I didn't want to involve you or worry you
unnecessarily, but Larry never paid me for the order I sent him. I only
222 s-jomed yesterday that he'd gone out of business. For -and-out
crook.' ks I thought he was an out 'You poor man. How you must have been
suffering. Why didn't you tell me? Oh, Alessandro.' He took her hands
and stroked them as he talked. He told her about Elena, and the
harrowing month he'd spent trying to get the insurance company to come
through, and a little bit about Visconte. He didn't tell Ur all about
Visconte. There was no need for that. But the more he talked, the more
incredulous she became. Finally, she pulled her hand away from his, her
fiwy rising. 'How naive Ive been! I thought we were close, I thought we
confided in each other, and now I find that you've been going through
hell for weeks and you never told me about it.' Her eyes flashed grey
anger at him. 'Did you think I had to be spared? That I'm not mature
enough to know the truth? That I'mjust a child? Is that what you think?
You had no right to go to Elena behind my back.'She was wild with anger.
'Anne,'Alessandro tried to interrupt but to no avail. 'You know, if
you'd asked me, I would have backed myself. I offered enough times. What
did you think I was domig9 Kidding you? Pretending to have money when I
didn't? Partners confide in each other. I feel as though I've been
cheated. As though I can't trust you because you've kept me in the dark.
You told me your problems didn't have anything to do with me, and I
believed you, but that's not true!' She had not been this angry in a
long time - not. since that terrible day she,saw Jeff and Jill together
in his examining room. It was as if Mrs presence nearby was enough to
cause her life to fall apart again. Alessandro watched her with
disbelief 'I shouldn't have told you about Elena. But I knew when you
saw her she would be sure to mention it.' 223 1/1 'That's not the
point!' she shouted. 'You shouldn't have asked her in the first place! I
can take aim of myself. And besides,' she added, I haven't decided to
accept her invitation. I thought we would be too busy in May for me to
get away. But maybe it is a good idea for us to be apart for a while.'
Here she'd thought she was ready for a relationship with him, and now
this! His expression was too painful to look at. This isn't the way I
imagined this evening would be,' he said softly. 'What time is your
dinner?' 'Eight-thirty,'she told him. 'Men we'd better go,'he said.
'It's nearly that now.' Alessandro signed the check and they left the
bar. Just as they came into the lobby the elevator door opened across
the room and Jeff stepped out. She faced him for one heart-stopping
second before she turned back to Alessandro. She'd seen Jeff look at her
without recognition, but she saw his expression of instant lust! Oh, it
was better than she could have dreamed! Without planning, without
hesitation, she looked up at Alessandro and put her arms around him and
then she kissed him full on the mouth, catching them both by surprise.
But the effect on the man behind her was what she wanted. She pressed
her body against Alessandro's, feeling his muscular frame tighten around
her. His spontaneous reaction was complete, and with part of her she
realized that he was wonderful to kiss, and that he cared about her very
much. But another part of her was painfully aware of the curve of her
back as she kissed him, of the way her hair fell across her shoulders,
of the rounded bareness of the dress, and of Jeffs eyes as they bore
into her. She pulled away from Alessandro and stared into his eyes,
wanting to give back to him what he had just given to her. I'll make it
up to him later, she thought. The 224 love with '"', ", i... of leaving
Jeff and going to make M     V       dro excited her. Even without Jeff
she would have been excited. If Alessandro was surprised by her abrupt
change of mood, he said nothing, just gazed at her with a mixture Of
tenderness and apology, hoping her kiss had been a orgiveness. gesture
off TH see you later.' she whispered, and he nodded, turning to go. All
eyes in the lobby were on her as she walked towards the man who had been
staring at her. 'Why, Jeff,.l didn't know you were thereP she said,
smiling at his stupefied expression. 'Anne?'he said. I didn't recognize
you!, III bet you didn't, she thought. She would relish his her dying
day. Taking his arm, she led him into the elevator. 'We're dining right
here,' she Z, 'She knew at that moment that s so convenient. had
accomplished an she wanted. Showing off to him     first
almost e      aste tim any     her would           b aw        of    e,
but not te She deserved her turn, and she would take it. She swept him
into the restaurant, speaking Italian to her friend Claude the maltre
d', who delightedly led her to their table. The captain hovered around
her as if she were some royal peacock, and indeed she was. V.ho was that
man?Jeff couldn't resist asking. .40h, that was my business associate,
Alessandro Duke di Valdagno.' e crossed her legs carefully, leaned on
her elbow iratorially, and winked. 'Your mouth is still open, y God,
what happened to you? You look terrific.' 'I had a few things done,'she
said offhandedly. It was simple to carry off when you knew you looked
great. she did look magnificent in her ankle-strap 225 sandals, dinging
silk jersey, Deco diamond clips and ivory bracelets, her hair pulled to
one side. The stares of everyone in the dining-room attested to that.
'How's your practiceT He was too amazed to question her. But how could a
sow's ear turn into a goddess? He sat across from her tongue-tied. She
not only had incredible beauty, she had drama, and poise, and class.
More than anyone he'd ever seen. This was out of his league and he
didn't even know there had been a race. She recognized the look. How
vulnerable I was then she thought, flashing on the moment when she'd
opened that door to his office. 'Would you like to go dandW.' he asked
after the pasta al forno. She was tempted but she declined. Enough
ofJeff was enough. She didn't want him any more. She'd suspected it for
a long time but now she knew it. He didn't make her tingle in the least.
Shudder was more like it. She was fi-ee, fi-ee at last, fi-ee for
Alessandro. She thought of Alessandro and she couldn!t wait to see him.
And then she remembered: she'd forgotten to give him the message from
Gimmo Pasquale. How stupid of me to have forgotten, she thought, but Fve
been so wrapped up in Jeff. She looked at Jeff across the table, feeling
nothing. HaReluia,'nothing! 'No, Jeff, I can't go dancing,' she said.
'I've got a late date! 'You know, there have been many times rve thought
about the way we ended it, and I've been sorry. I just wanted you to
know that! 'Don't be,' she said. 'You did me the biggest favour of my
life! When they reached the lobby she couldn't resist a 226 lingering
kiss on his cheek; she leaned into him ended the embrace with her hand
trailing from under his chin. And then she turned on her heel and walked
out, knowing he was watching. She was not the same Anne who had turned
and walked away from that -terriible scene in his hospital office eons
before. This time she did not look back. rm ready, she sang, yes, I'm
definitely ready. And she gave the driver Alessandro's address. 227
Chapter20 Anne kept the tan waiting as she rang the outer bell at
Alessandro's home. The night watchman appeared at the huge carved doors
in his soiled trousers and old cut. 'He's not here, Signorina Scott.
Only the Signora is borne tonight.'He saw her disappointment. Some other
men        looking for him, too. I Wd them to try his club.' She thanked
the old man and climbed back into the ca1b. Alessandro could be at the
club, but he was most Mmly at the shop. She told the driver to take her
to Via Barberini. She was in luck; there was a light coming from the
.,,back room. She went around to the back door and knocked.'Alessandro?'
:,:,Arme?' She heard his voice fikintly through the thick Ooden door. 'Y
'sh             There was the sound of a bolt being es, ereplied 4rawn
back and a shaft of light from the open door discarded scraps of fabrics
and waxed paper the remains of his dinner in a box in the alley. She
aved to the taxi and stepped inside. 'I thought you might be here,' she
said. It was right at they should be here alone at this moment, in this
which had such mearung for both of them. Her hung on a rack in the
comer. There were ms and sketches in the front office along with all 229
her hopes and dreams. But the look on his face shattered her buoyant
mood. Vho was the old friend from California?' He must have seen her
with Jeff. 'That was my ex- husband. I should have told you, but I
didn't want you to worry.' Her lie sounded familiar, he had said the
same thing to her. But she had felt guilty about seeing Jeff, as if she
were cheating on him. 'Then we are even,' he said sharply. 'I didn't
tell you about my financial problems because I didn't want to worryYOU.,
'I don't like being angry with you, Alessandro,' she pleaded. 'Nor I
with you. But I am furious with you for using me that way, to make an
ex-husband jealous. It is unworthy of you!' 'But, I didn't use you! I
wanted to kiss you. Why do you think rm hereT 'You chose a public place,
and the presence of your ex- husband to do what I've longed, for you to
do all these past months ... Do you know what I was feeling when you
kissed meT She shook her head. '. . . And what I felt when I saw you
take his arm only a moment later? rve never seen you so ...
self-involved. I trusted you. I thought you were different, but you're
noV 'I'm sorry,'she added again.'I didn't mean to hurt you. It was
selfish of me.' He took a step towards her, but he didn't soften. 'And
how did it work, your little scheme? Was he sufficiently impressed? Is
this the reason you have gone to so much trouble to change yourself? Was
it worth itT He was hurting and his pain cried out to her from every
part of him. 230 y. husband was my whole life ... but he diWt want t
sounded weak, yesterday's news. It was worth it h said. 'But not at the
expense of hurting you. i me, s e so sorry, Alex.1 ;She reached out for
his hand, wanting him but -ed at her, unbending... Aqpped by his
severity. He staz IAseemed like for ever, and then she was in his arms
and was kissing her, pressing her to him fiercely, her name over and
over. And she was comin awake! A part of her that had been dormant, all
'We time stirred and stretched and reached for him in W of her reserve.
nne, Anne,' he murmured. Tve been sick with iWOUSY-1 1. Want you to make
love to me,'she whispered as he :..h,wdd her and rocked her back and
forth as if she were a U"sure h4ediust found. .:.'Iqot here,'he said.
T11 take you home with me., 'What about your motherT ;'I have my own
wing, and separate entrance. Don't ..of course, she thought, too aware
of how many times "..'M Ultist have used that separate entrance.
;,.tw,.,-@'rsuddenly the sound of breaking glass shattered the ess and
hejerked away from her as she fro. in his The front door of the shop
burst open, with a loud ring sound, and two men in work clothes came Z
;A towards them. One grabbed her and threw her aside. She landed on the
floor in the comer, Waing her hip. The other man unlocked the back door,
in two more men. Alessandro rushed to help her, they threw him back
against the worktable, holding Ahere. out of here, Anne!' he cried out
to her, as one of men puffed back his fist and slammed it into 231
Alessandro's stomach. Alessandro groaned and doubled over, while Anne
watched in horror. One of the men held him from behind while another
began to beat him over an dover again, across the face and body. Blow
after blow smashed into him, until his nose ran red and his mouth bled
all over the front of his clothes; the thud of each blow mingled with
Anne's sobbing, but they paid no attention to her pleas. She scrambled
out of the way as they kicked and stomped their way through the shop,
systematically wrecking everything in sight. Bolts of fabric
were ripped in half, and furniture was smashed. Her samples torn to
shreds. When they'd beaten Alessandro almost to unconsciousness, she
saw one man nod to the other. And then each of them grabbed one of his
arms and twisted them both until Ins shoulder sockets made a popping
noise. Two screams rent the air, Alessandro's in agony, and hers in
horror. In the middle of her scream one of the men grabbed her by the
head, lifting her off the floor until her neck felt as if it would
separate from her body. 'Not a sound from you!'he growled at her. And he
let her fall back down. She moved back into the corner away from him.
I They're going to kill me, she realized, as soon as they're through,
because rve seen their faces. It was suddenly very quiet. She wasn't
even aware that they'd gone or how long she'd sat there, until the cold
night air blowing in through the back door made her teeth chatter. There
was a sound of dripping water coming from the toilet, and Alessandro's
laboured breathing, death rattling in his chest. She crawled out of the
comer expecting a blow at any moment. She almost welcomed it. Anything
to keep from finding out if Alessandro was dead. She made her 232 sy
through the debris towards him, unaware of sharp that cut her hands and
knees. She touched his chest, but she could hardly see him. There was
blood pouring into her eyes from a cut in her forehead. She crawled
towards the front of the shop, praying, crying, phading with God to let
the phone be intact. It was! She ..,Called the police. It was two days
before they knew if Alessandro would Ave. Two days in which she suffered
the tortures of the daniiied. His lungs were filled with blood and he
was in a coma. His injuries would take months to heal, if he did
survive. They feared possible brain damage from one of the blows to his
head. A priest paced the corridor, Vomforting Signora Massini with
whispered prayers ood rosary beads. Anne was questioned again and
''spin, but she couldn't remember anything except the am of a shoulder
when its muscles bunched up to deliver a blow and the twist of a mouth
as it leered in :pleasure at Alessandro's pain, inflicting, hurting,
pounding. She never left the hospital, sleeping on a chair in the lobby.
Brenda brought her some clothes and a letter in a blue envelope that had
no return address. It had been slipped under their door some time during
the Aight. All the note contained was a phone number. Iter hands were
trembling as she dialled. A man's answered. 'Who is this?he asked.
"!Anne Scott.' -.If we do not get our money in one week's time, will be
deadF She jammed her fist into her mouth to keep from g. 'When can I
meet youT she said, but the e went dead. She called back again and
again, but the number was Aw. And within hours it was disconnected. Now
she 233 was terrified. They were going to kill him! She didn't
understand what could have happened. Alessandro had received his money
from the insurance. He was going to pay his debt. Why had they beaten
him like this? Why were they still threatening him9 How much did he owe?
Had he lied to her? She couldn't ask him, he was too sick, and she
didn't know where to turn. She called his insurance agent, Ginuno
Pasquale. 'Did your company make that payment to Alessandro that you
told me aboutT Of course,'he said, with genuine surprise.Why?'
'Alessandro is in the hospital. He's been beaten very badly.' 'Please
give me a number where I can reach you,, Pasquale said. 'I'll make some
enquiries and call you back.' She gave him the number of the corridor
phone, and waited there for over an hour. Finally Pasquale called her
back. Mrs Scott, I checked with my supervisors and with our main
division. The money fiomthe claim was paid by cheque to Signore Massini
and was, as you know, Placed directly into his account. That is where,
perhaps, we made an error.' What?'she asked, afnud to hear the rest of
his news. 'It is difficult to determine the exact events that surrounded
this unfortunate incident, except to explain to you a bit about Signore
Massini. You see, he lias incurred various debts over the years, in
several diftbrent ventures. This last deal was only one of many
financial losses. And his creditors have been waiting for such a tame
when they might recover some of their capital. They picked this as their
moment. Evidently Signore Massini has not been depositinr P, ulds in any
of his chequing accounts to keep his creditors away. 'He has been
transacting his business dealings 234 Vocently all in cash to avoid any
payments to former Ovditors and he was cautious for good
reason,'Pasquale explained. 'For as soon as his insurance claim was paid
directly into the bank, his former creditors were notified and a closure
was placed on the account pending ,,;f.,-,tAtachment proceedings. He
would have been served with notification of attachment on the day
following the deposit of our cheque, except that by then he was abeady
in the hospital. Tin affidd that you and I made an error in not giving
him that cheque directly,'Pasquale announced. Vh, Goff Anne said. I
forgot to tell him.' She had been so preoccupied with herself and her
feelings about Jeff and Alessandro that she had inadvertently caused him
terrible harm. 'Yes, and the people who made the Duke his most recent
loan learned of the attachment and knew that he would not be paying them
as promised.' . 'How can I reach these people, Signore Pasquale?'she
asked.1 can do something!' I wouldn't advise that,' he insisted. 'They
are not reasonable men.' 'Could you just tell me how much Alessandro
owes the M. 4t-- Thirty three million, six hundred and thirty-eight
us and, four hundred lire.' "HOW much is that in dollars?' Thirty-eight
thousand, four hundred dollars.' My God! The amount was staggering. So
much And yet what could she do? She couldn't let him He had helped her,
and believed in her, and now heed her help. She. thanked, Pasquale for
his assist- , and called Brenda at the bank. .. ;Tm leaving the hospital
now,'she explained.'And I'm 9 over to the bank right away. I want you to
draw 235 a cash draft for thirty-three million, six hundred and
thirty-eight thousand, four hundred lire.' Brenda couldn't help but ask,
'What forT 'Brenda, please. Trust me,'Anne said. 'All right, all right,'
she agreed. 'I just don't want you to do something crazy.' The moment
she arrived at the Banca Moderna, Brenda met her and took her directly
to Segri's office. Segri was kind, in the same way that Alessandro was
kind, and he cared. Anne noticed the way Brenda looked at him and her
heart went out to her friend. Segri was soft-spoken, but he was a hard
man to argue with. 'Both Brenda and I are afraid you'll never get this
money back, Anne. Signore Massini is insolvent. He's not a good risk and
I find it personally abhorrent that he would borrow money from you.' 'He
didn't ask me. He doesn't know anything about this!'And she explained to
them what had happened. Segri listened to her story. He admired this
young woman's devotion. How could he advise her not to save the life of
a man who needed her? Money was not important in itself, but in what it
could do for others. 'Issue her the cheque, Brenda,' he said. Brenda
opened her mouth in surprise, but he shook his head. 'I'm glad you see
it my way,' Anne said, 'because I have no alternative. And I want you
both to promise me that you will never tell the Duke di VaIdagno who
paid his debt. I do not want him to know.' Segri looked startled. 'I'm
certain you don't,' he said. 'Did I hear you correctly, Signore Massini
is Duke di ValdagnoT 'Yes,' she said. 'And he would not want me to be
the one to help him.' 'I understand,' Segri agreed. Brenda left with
Anne, 236 lie knew she would be back, wanting an explana- And he would
give her a logical reason, not the fad that he was a roinmitic at heart.
A roomfic who liked to clear up old debts. went back to her apartment
and waited by the pbone. Finally the call came.Do you have the money?'a
Vowe asked. ,V11ho is this?'slie asked. Tlavlo Rinaldi. Ive been
informed that you made a from your bank today.' These people found out
everything. 'Yes, I did. Where I meet you9 I want to settle this as
quickly as 10 we, Mrs Scott,'he answered.'Come to Harry's evening, about
five o'clock.' 1he payment went quite smoothly, but she took no 'Ohmmm
in the impression she made on Flavio Rinaldi. she was leaving she asked
him, Voes this fi-ee Duke tkValdagno from any obligations to you peopleT
his smile was crooked, she thought. 'Yes, this 04ars it ip. We won't
bother him again.' :.,;iRiewent idirectly to the hospital. But
Alessandro had moved to a different room, and the nurse at the wouldn't
tell her where he was. Wo visitors, signorina. No one is to am himP
check the list!' Anne insisted.       ow my mustbe there.' i'Me woman
shook her head. 'We have our instrucYou will have to speak to his doctor
or Signora Anne didn't understand why they were doing this, but matter.
She would cover every floor in the until she found him. As the
third-floor elevator she came face to face with Signora Massini. The 237
woman was waiting for her, arms crossed, a mixture of triumph and hatred
showing in her face. The nurse at that desk must have warned her. 'Where
are you going, signorina?' Signora Massini asked. They told you he
wouldn't see you. My son has given me full control. He will see no one.
Especially not youly Anne was stung by her words and the hatred in them.
,signora Massini, I am his friend. I care for him very much. Please, may
I see himT ,He does not wish to see you! Here! She thrust a paper in
front of Anne. It was a request fi-oin Alessandro that no visitors be
admitted, and it named her in particular. This must be a mistake! Anne
went back down to the lobby, and tried using the house phone. But the
operator told her the same thing, his phone was blocked. 'Could you
please tell him Mrs Anne Scott is callingT she pleaded with the
operator. 'Si, signora, he will get the message.' Finally, she left the
hospital, not knowing what to think, not understanding what in the world
had caused this sudden change in Alessandro. The expression of triumph
on his mother's face burned in her brain. When she heard Brenda's key in
the lock she burst into tears, unable to stop the outpouring of her
disappointment. Brenda was stunned by the news of Alessandro's
behaviour..'What will you do?'she asked; the anguish of her friend was
almost too much to bear. What land of monster was this man9 She wanted
to march Past all those nuns and priests at Ospedale dCelio and shake
some sense into him. Anne's self-loathing was horrible to see.You've got
to get away from here for a while,Brenda insisted. 238 didn't seem to
hear. 'If I could only talk to him,, illicit, 'What about Elena's
invitation? Why don't you j,don't want to go alone.' 'So, Ill take a
week off and go with you.' 'Would you?'Anne's face brightened for a
moment. At j"A someone in her life had remained constant. So try V
Brenda agreed. 'Me bank can spare me for a A U soon as Alessandro is
well enough to see me,'Anne announced. 'Then, I'll decide.' Nihat are
you waiting for?'Brenda insisted. 'He's not worth another second of your
concern. I don't know how you fthd such winners.' But Brenda's wisdom
didn't bWp. ";.Anne wrote to Elena and received a cool reply. There VM.
an obvious indifference now that Anne's career was dead - dead along
with all her dreams of happiness with Alessandro - and Elena's money
badly spent, as if Anne bW engendered the loss herself. Elena would
allow her to. tome merely to comply with a past obligation. 'We
rl-,,4wld fit you in for a short visit some time next month the cruise.'
't matter, Anne thought. IT go anyway. better than staying here. ...ir
.....    went by and still Alessandro wouldn't see ..Until she wrote him
a note: 1 going away for a while and I'd like to say j to ir 4 , the
you. Won't you give podbye. I promise not JAW:five minutes? Please? Anne
't trust herself to say more or sign more. 239 She came to the hospital
prepared with a selfrighteous speech. She would tell him what she'd done
for him, ask him why he'd treated her like this even if it meant
humbling herself But when she saw him she couldn't say a word. He was
terribly bruised and swollen. His touch with death had taken all his
spark. Casts and traction covered most of him that wasn't purple or
bandaged, she saw that he couldn't withstand any discussion at all, much
less an emotional one. She longed to hold him and stroke him and cry
over him, but she kept the appearance of gaiety and smiled fixedly.
Thank you for seeing me,' she said. His cheeks were drawn with
discomfort; hollow areas she d always thought of as crevices, deepened
and marched their way across his face. Why hadn't he let her see him
before? But even his eyes didn't smile, and she knew by that that he
didn't want her. Once again someone she loved had been completely
transformed. Was there poison in goodness that murdered a relationship?
His jaw was wired and he spoke through his teeth. I didn't want you to
see me like this, but I'm going to be here for a long time ... and I
wanted to wish YOU farewell.' It sounded so final. She promised herself
she wouldn't cry so she kept smiling her new smile over her new clun, as
she thrust her new chest against the blue silk. A, second time, a second
rejection. She didn!t want to go through it again. '111 write you from
France. If you need me, please let me know.' He wouldn't need her, and
if he did he wouldn't tell her. She was more bewildered than hurt at the
moment. The hurt was sure to come later. The route was familiar, but
this time there was no marriage, no miscarriage, only an unformed
relationship and an aborted business. 240 Just as she was leaving he
called to her.Asme!' 'Yes?She turned. Thank you for coming.' She didn't
hear him add, 'my love'. She was too busy wiping away the tears as she
ran down the hall. In his hospital bed Alessandro watched helplessly as
Anne ran out. He cried out with torment, shouting until his voice
cracked into severed pieces like his heart. Her lack of concern for him
was more pamfiil than all the iujuries he had suffered. For if she had
cared even the smallest amount, she would have come to see him before
this. She was the only person whose name he had put on his list of
allowed visitors except for his mother.and Father Santino. It had taken
all his courage to let her come and see him so broken so ashamed and so
low. He knew what she thought of him. He'd known it that night in the
lobby of the Hassler, when she'd turned from his embrace and taken
another man's arm. If she felt contempt for him then, what must she feel
now to see him humbled like this. He'd been unable to defend himself
that night, responsible for her. safety and failing miserably to protect
her. Failing in every way, as her partner, as her sponsor, and as her
lover. He thanked the Lrd that he had never tried really to love her.
That failure he could not have endured. And as a testimony to her he was
proud that she hadn't berated him, as he deserved, as his mother had
been doing. It wasn't Anne's fault that any of this had come about. He
knew that, no matter what his mother said. Anne had been a dream nearly
realized, more painful to lose than he could have imagined. And when he
had healed and paid back Visconte he would pick up the pieces of his
life. But no more dreams. He was through with them. He was past 241 the
point of being able to fight back against what life had dealt him. He
had brought this all on himself. The pain in his shoulders was
excruciating, but he twisted in his casing to increase it. He wanted
these tortures to hurt him, until they surpassed the pain of what he had
lost. He pulled on his jaw, screaming again as the wires were stretched
to endurance. He yanked on his ankle, strung from a trapeze, feeling all
of his injured parts burning. But none of it shut out the sight of
Anne's retreating form that he had been powerless to stop, that he would
have killed for, now that it was too late. The nurses came running,
their skirts rustling along the tile floors. 'Now, now,'theysoothed,
alarmed at his frenzy, summoning a young doctor who sedated him, numbing
the pain in his limbs but not in his heart. Chapter2l Numbness was a
blessing, keeping Anne insulated as she prepared for her trip to the
Cdte Azur. Methodically she shopped and packed. She took mostly her own
designs, the things she'd made for herself, all of them classic,
understated, as opposed to the collection of delicately wrapped and
layered things she'd designed to be shown, now dead and buried shreds of
material. How she'd worked on them, all for nothing! She kept in contact
with the hospital, checking on Alessandro's progress without leaving her
name. And when Brenda commented that she had been taken, she cried, It
was in my power to give! Should I have denied him his life9 And rm
telling you again, I want you to swear you will never reveal to him who
paid his debt! I want you to ask Frederico to swear never to tell him
either.' 'You're crazy, Anne,'Brenda said,but I'll do what you request.'
But when Anne and Brenda finally left, Frederico decided to pay
Alessandro Massmi a visit. It was about tame he and the Duke became
acquainted. He told himself he would keep his promise of secrecy only if
it proved to be advisable. Massini was certainly entitled to know that
someone had bailed him out, and that he was no longer in danger. 242 243
Alessandro was surprised to have a visit from Frederico Segn and he
studied the illustrious banker as Segn approached the bed. Tin afraid
you've caught me at a disadvantage,' Alessandro said after Segn had
introduced himself They smiled at each other, recognizing their similarities, their differences, and the oddity of their common ground. 'I
understand you've had some bad luck.' Of course he would know,
Alessandro realized, and looked away in embarrassment. He couldn't blame
Anne if she confided in her roommate. Probably the whole world knew
about him. 'I haven't come here to upset you,'Fredexico assured him. Sut
to inforin you that you are no longer in any danger.' Alessandro's head
snapped back to Segri, upsetting every sore part of his upper body. He
winced. What do you mean?' 'Your financial debt has been paid by a good
friend Of yours-'He hastened to add,No, it wasn't V 'Are you certain of
this?' Alessandro was afraid to allow the relief to flow through him,
afraid to direct the signals from his brain to his broken and injured
parts that it was all right for them to mend now. And who could have
done this for me? he wondered. Elena? Unlikely! Paolo Brisson? His
nephew Carlo? No, none of them would risk their money for his life. To
whom was he indebted for the light of day, for the comforts of medicine,
for the right to breathe? q cannot reveal the name,'Frederico said in
response to his expression. 'I have promised not to ... but I will not
deny it if you guessed.' And of course Alessandro knew. 'Was it AnneT he
whispered, and Segri nodded. The answer was too much 244 eft him. t came
to his eyes. He had ruined her hopes lost her for ever, and yet in an
unselfish act of charity she had saved him. She did care! He owed her so
much! Segri waited until Alessandro composed himself 'I understand Anne
is a very talented designer.' 'Yes. She's extraordinary. She could be
one of the biggest!' he said. 'She must be encouraged not to give it Vp
... simply because of what happened, or because of my failures.' Segri,
took his seat again."What will you do now?' 'I don't know,'Massini
replied. He's very hard on himself, Segn thought. 'Would you want to
continue as a couturierr he asked casually, one acquaintance to another.
'Not for myself,' Alessandro said. 'But for Anne's sake. There's nothing
I care about any more.' 'That's understandable,, Segri commented.
'Everything I have was ruined when those men destroyed my shop. All the
samples, the materials, the machines. Everything!' He saw Anne crouched
in the corner, heard her cries all over again. Everything he touched
turned sour. 'How much would it take you to start again?' Segn asked
quietly. Alessandro looked at him in surprise. Uore than rve ever been
able to raise before, even when I was in a position of strength, and not
lying here helplessF He knew he sounded bitter. 'But I haven't the heart
to try again, to turn myself loose on another innocent victim. And
besides, Anne would never trust me again.' 'That's too bad,'Segri
replied,,because I was about to offer you money. Not a loan, but money as
an investing partner. If Anne's as good as you say, rd like to be in on
her success.' 245 'Just like that?'Alessandro said. Td like to
help,'Frederico said. 'But everything was ruined ... and Anne...' He
tried to shrug, but the bandages prevented it. 'What became of the
patterns to the designs and the drawings? I still have them,' he said.
'But there were so many changes, so many alterations in the finished
products ... impossible ... But my patternmaker and my tailor will
remember what the changes were. There might be a possibility.' 'Good!'
Segri said. 'When you're feeling better come and see me, and we'll work
out the details. It might be just as well if you could surprise Anne with
a re-creation of what you lost. She'd listen to you then!' Before
Alessandro could respond Segri told him, 'I have some friends and
acquaintances in the retail end of the business. I might be able to help
you in that aspect also.0 'I cannot express to you how. I feel,
signore,' Alessandro began. 'I'm afraid I'm still too shocked to be
coherent.' '111 be in touch,' Segri said, getting up to leave. 'And I'll
send you a letter of intent spelling out my wishes in this matter, just
in case anything should happen to me.' He always put in writing whatever
his future plans might be. As he reached the door he turned back. 'One
questionT 'Yes?' 'Are you any relation to the Arturo Massini family of
Valdagno?' 'That was my father.' 'I thought so,'Segri replied. 'Did you
know him?'Alessandro asked. 246 jW Only by reputation. He was a fine and
compas- 44na.te human being.' And then he left, secure in the knowledge
that this had been an easy debt to repay. His 06cle Jacopo and his Aunt
Eva and Ins four cousins wbWd have been pleased with him. Ihi Brisson
chauffeur met Anne and Brenda at the Aeroport de Nice-C6te dAzur. He
took care of their higgage, seated them in the gunmetal-and-black Rolls
oodan and drove towards Cap Ferrat through Nice - past the Negresco
Hotel, the shops and the beaches and the I bay of Nice dotted with
industrial ships and private yachts. The signs pointed in the
directions of Villefranche, Eze-sur-Mer, Monte Carlo. Magic names!
Finally they left the road, and wound down into the exclusive area of St
Jean Cap Ferrat that lay beside the Mediterranean. The streets were
tree-lined borders of huge estates, set back from the road, most of them
ludden from view. They breathed expensive air with every breath.' The
car turned in between two ornate iron gates topped with gold finials,
and then followed the approach to the house which carved a path through
a thicket Of trees. The driveway seemed to climb forever until it
reached the villa perched on top of a hill, a salmoncoloured jewel, with
bombe windows and carved balustrades, and turrets, flags and flowers.
This isn't exactly a Polish garden!' Brenda said, almost leaning out of
the window to get a better view. 'It's a genuine castle,' Anne said in a
hushed voice. It was all she'd hoped it would be. , 'Don't blow your
cool, cookie. This kind of place is supposed to be old hat to you.
Chances are that Elena won't remember what you were like in Paris. Shell
see 247 you as you are now and think you've never been d6class6e.1 But
Brenda was wrong. Elena recalled perfectly well what Anne had been like
in Pans and she nearly fell over when she saw her. She didn't recognize
her at first, until Anne embraced her and spoke to her. 'I never would
have known you! What have you done to yoxirself?p 'Do you like it?'Anne
asked, fluffing her hair. Uke it? My God, not just your hair. All of you
is different. You look wonderful! I can't find the words to describe
it.' 'You look better than the last tame we saw you, too. Brenda
inteijected. 'Oh, hello, Brenda,' Elena answered coolly. Brenda was like
a bad penny, always turning up. Anne sensed the tension and gave Brenda
a look saying, Don't start! 'We are so grateful for your hospitality,
Elena. Aren't weTshe asked pointedly. Brenda squelched a reply. After
all, Anne really needed this diversion. 'Yes, Elena. We really do thank
YOU- Elena was amazed at Anne's display of strength and influence. She
smiled and extended her hand to Brenda. 'Shall we call it off?' Brenda
shrugged. why notT 'Now, let me show you around,' Elena said, and led
them into the morning salon, washed in yellow silks and damasks, Louis
XIV ffirniture, Gobelin tapestries, and an Aubusson rug that would be
outstanding even at the Trianon. The afternoon salon was dominated by
rusts and golds, velvets and heavier brocades, Louis XV antiques, dark
oak inlaid floors, and a carved fireplace. The dining-room, enormous and
formal, was in English Tudor. 'Tr,s amusant for the South of France,
don't you 248 .*T Elena asked. 'But then, rve always believed certain
styles of ftunishing were conducive to certodn rooms. For instance,' she
said as she led them through treasure-filled room after room, 'the game
room is in Empire, the bar is cosier as an English pub, and the bedrooms
alternate between Victorian, Louis XVI and Art Nouveau.' The discotheque
in the basement was ultramodern, with a glass dance-floor that lit up
from within and neon sculptures over mirrored walls. The girls were
speechless at the opulence of their hosteWs domain, and they recognized
the museum quality of the fimiishings. 'We have an amusing group
here,'Elena said, putting her arms around them. 'The film festival is
occupying everyone's attention, but then the summer season will be upon
us followed by the Croix Rouge Gala in August. You couldnI have picked a
better time, girls. But tell me, Anne, how is it that you have changed
so much? And why did you hide all this excellence under that mousy
demeanourT Anne smiled. 'LeVs just say that rve come of age, Elena. I
was trying to get away fi-om myself when I met you, denying myself,
covering up. You see, you really knew very little about me when we met.'
Elena looked at her for a moment, remembering the devotion Anne had
displayed. The hours Anne had spent listening to her, comforting her.
She was disappointed by what appeared to be the loss of that
ingenuousness, but her interest was renewed in another way. This visit
might prove to be more than she'd expected. Wait until Carlo met her!
'Well have plenty of time to get reacquainted, my dear!' She rang for a
servant. 'Pietro, please take Mrs Scott and Miss Greenstein to 249 their
rooms.' She turned to them. 'After you'vesettled yourselves, I should
like you to meet my guests. Well be gathering in the afternoon salon at
seven for cocktails.' At 6.55, when Brenda knocked at her door, Anne was
ready. She wore a white cr6pe dress, cut on the bias, showing just
enough cleavage, set off by a jewelled head-piece. Brenda whistled. 'You
look greaV Anne smiled. She noticed Brenda's dress, a black silk,
tailored, simple, and flattering. Her tan was as even as Anne's; her
blue eyes shone with happiness for her friend. 'You know, Brenda, as you
say, with a little, plastic surgery, a few more inches in height, maybe
a religious conversion and some speech lessons, you could be gorgeous
too.'They both laughed. I Brenda descended the staircase slowly with
Anne while her mind calculated all the angles, all the odds as she
approached the glittering group below. Her thoughts were not here ...
She was thinking about Rome and Frederico. But Anne was on the brink of
a new life and she felt it in every nerve in her body. She was
determined to put Rome behind her. She was ready for adventure. She
floated into the salon and every head turned to look at her. 'Everyone,'
Elena announced, 'I want you to meet Anne Scott from California and
Brenda Greenstein from New York.'And then she steered them from group to
group. 'Darlings, this is Baron and Baroness Philippe de Marcos of
Rome.' 'Elena, must you use titles, you're simply terrible,' the
Baroness said. She was a tall, auburn-haired 250 with a classic Roman
profile and slender, ',iijignificent hands. 'We are Triana and
Philippe,' she said, extending her hands to both girls. 'OMey're
Americans, darling, they love titles. Don't you, dearsT Elena asked
them, unaware if they were impressed or embarrassed by the exchange. why
don't you use your title, ElenaT Thana asked. ,just because you've
chosen to ignore iV 'I divorced my title with my husband.' 'How
unfortunate,'Triana said, and Philippe, a greyhan-ed handsome man in his
early fiffies, winked at Anne who almost winked back, but caught herself
in time. Elena ushered them to the next group. 'And I'm certain you've
seen UK Touveau. in one of her marvelous roles.' The small actress with
the smoky blonde hair and soft green eyes was standing next to a short
and wiry man with a crazy, inappropriate grin on his face. 'And this is
John Martine,' Elena continued. 'He makes brilliant movies. Lilli and
John have just completed a film together. We know it's going to sweep
the festivaF Elena said, patting his cheek. He continued to smile
menacingly, like a psychopathic killer, Anne thought. 'Meet Bill and
Lorraine Burton. Bill produced the film.' The Burtons nodded to them.
Americans with money, Anne decided. 'And over here,' she interrupted
another small circle of people, 'is Allan Ornstein from California. He's
just been appointed president of CAM-Zenith Records and we're delighted
for him? She turned to a good-looking tanned young man standing with the
Ornsteins. 'Anne Scott, Brenda Greenstein, meet Norm Martinson, he's in
real estate in Beverly Hills.'Elena winked at him and he kissed'her on
the neck in a proprietary way. They 251 were about to move on when Elena
realized she had forgotten to introduce Allan Ornstein's wife. 'And this
is Mrs Ornstein.'She hesitatecl over the name. 'Mindy,'the woman
supplied. 'Of course! Mindy. You three should have a lot 'in common,
being from Califorxiia.' 'I'm from New York,' Brerida said. Allan
Ornstein had prernature silver hair, a dimpled face and a nice smile.
Elis wife Mindy was about thirty two, with large blue eYea, thin curly
hair, and a California dress off the rack, Her nails were embarrassingly
bitten and she wore Qucc, jewellery. She looked tumd and out of place
vnth ithe titles and the money in this room. That's me when I was
max-ried to Jeff, Anne thought, as Mindy Ornstein let go of her
husband's arm just long enough to shake their hancle. Anne looked from
Mindy to her husband who stared 13ack wIth obvious interest. You creep
she thought, and gave him her most sophisticated, dazzling glaXiLce.
'How Willed you both must be,' she said. 'Congratulations., And she took
his face in both her hands ancIt kissed him lightly on the mouth. 'A new
European Tustom I just invented to honour newly appointed
re@cord-company presidents.' And she turned and walkecl to the next
group, leaving Elena and Brenda quite inipl"sed by her. The next two
women w4zare well past their sixties, silver-haired and plainly dr-Bsed
- Vnth an Old World grace. 'May I present any Mother-in-law, the
Contessa Brisson,'Elena said of the woman on her right.'And her sister,
Madame Cevantes, who will bury us all., she hugged the other woman. qis
is Anne, to whom I am so indebted.' The Contessa smiled. 'Eleitla, have
your young friends met Carlo?' 22 "Not yet, darling,'Elena answered. I'm
saving him for 'Elena's told us so much about you two. How fond she is
of you,'Madame Cevantes said to Anne. 'We are very grateffil to you for
your assistance, in a most delicate matter. Your influence on her was
most positive!' It was the first fame anyone had mentioned Elena's
addiction. Anne nodded. Slena and I were drawn to each other in some
strange way that only the two of us understood,' she answered, smiling
at Elena. 'I'm only glad I was there at the right time.' They were
interrupted by a deep male voice. 'Do not monopolize these beautiful
women, ladies.' Anne turned towards the voice. Oh, Armand and
Frangoise,' Elena said. 'Let me introduce Anne Scott from California and
Brenda Greenstein from New York. Duc Armand and Duchesse Frangoise de
Kergoly.' A duke and a duchess, a baron and a baroness, Anne thought. I
wonder if there's a prince hiding in the wings somewhere - in search of
a princess! Triana de Marcosjoined them.I understand you have been
living m Rome,'she said to Anne. 'Yes, and I adore it,'Anne said in
Italian. And then she turned and saw him. Prince Charming. 'Anne,' Elena
said, 'this is my son, Carlo. Isn't he beautifulT To Brenda she said,
'He looks just like his father., He was beauW! And tanned, with a
flashing smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. Tight and slender
in his beautifully tailored black silk tuxedo and French batiste ruffled
shirt. The shirt was open, revealing gold chains on a brown body. His
black tie hung untied around his collar. He stared at Anne, taking her
two hands in his as if 253 holding her open for inspection. His eyes
teased but his expression was rapt sincerity. He was amazed at his
mother. The young women she thought suitable for him were usually
unbearable. Now this was a different story, 'Aren't you going to wish me
happy birthdayThe said, speaking impeccable English with a beautiful
Italian accent. 'Is it your birthdayT she asked him. 'It is now,'he
said. 'And Christmas and Easter and St Carlo's day, my patron saint.'
She laughed and had the craziest feeling that she should check to see if
she were wearing glass slippers. 'Are we all ready?' Elena asked. 'Anton
has been holding my table against terrible pressure, Im sure,so we had
better go and relieve him of his burden.' 'Where is your table, ElenaT
Brenda asked. 'On the terrace of the Carlton, my dear. Where else, on
opening night of the festivalT 'Where else?' Brenda said, raising an
eyebrow at Anne. They all trooped out to the limousines, with the
exception of Contessa Brisson and Madame Cevantes, who declined, and the
Duc and Duchesse de Kergoly, who were dining elsewhere. The Carlton was
a madhouse of excitement, glamour and absurdity. A tall woman in a
leopard bikini sporting rhinestone collar and a cheetah sat with a
short, fat, prosperous-looking old man - probably a producer. The
paparazzi were everywhere - swarming, snapping, pushing their way.
Everyone was either chic or sexy or both. Blue jeans of every decoration
- embroidered, patched, leathered, studded, tie-dyed, and jewelled.
Lothars, Mic Mac, and T-shirts, gowns and caftans, see-through and
see-under and see-over were 254 Frizzy hair, straight hair, bouffant
hair and 'sculptured hair, enormous sun-glasses, and lorgriettes and
binoculars and opera glasses; even an ostrichplumed fan with feathered
tail to match walked by. Anne was dazzled. Brenda said, 'Ive heard of
the human zoo, but this is ridiculous! '-' And each one of the paraders
had some speciany equipped antennae reaching out to the producer, the
film star, the director, the playboy. All eyes flitted and all seemed to
settle back to Carlo and Anne. 'Youve got it now, baby,'they
transinitted,but watch out, hold on while you can until the glue fads on
your Juliette mamcures and thensee how fast you fall as we grab your
slot.' 'Don't fool yourselves,'Anne replied by.the code of the Corniche,
a tilt of the cleft chin, a dip of the cleft chest. Tm prepared for all
of you.' 'The distribution in America will be helped enormously by our
-placing in Cannes,, Bill Burton was saying. Ulh is certain to win best
actress. No other film offers such scope for growth for an actress.,
'Perhaps the Swedish film will offer some competition,'John Martine
added. Lilli yawned; she was used to uoroars and frisses and only came
alive on the set. Norin Martinson was nuzzling Elena, who didn't mind at
all. Eighteen years was the appropriate age difference here. Mindy
Ornstein sat between Triana de Marcos and her husband, Allan, listening
to their conversation like someone watching a tennis match. Finally
unable to contribute more than a blue-eyed sigh, she fluttered and sank
back in her chair. Why do I give a damn about her, poor thing, Anne
thought, observing Mindy's wide-eyed expressions. The 255 old Anne Scott
personified. She was too close a reminder for comfort. Carlo breathed in
her ear. 'Cara mia, come back to me.' She turned and looked at hiin,
hazel eyes with flecks of brown, large and enticing. She was flooded
with a warmth that spread from her toes to her ears. Whatever he had, it
made her feel wonderfid. The wine is delicious,'she said. 'You are
delicious! Where did you come from?- Who has made you; you are
perfection,'he said. She wrinkled her nose.'From the foam of the seas and
the powder on the snow, the nectar of the flower and the scent on the
air. Ali for you, darling Carlo, all for you. And we shall be lovers and
you shall adore me, clest tout!'My God, was she crazy9 He stared at her,
mesmerized. As were the others. Who is she, what is she, how did she,
they all thought, all. speculated, all wondered. Philippe de Marcos and
Allan Ornstein and even Norm Martmson came up for air long enough to
contemplate her,, and she smiled. If they only knew! And Elena couldn't
help but wonder. 'She had expected an entirely different girl from the
one who had arrived. Though this one was certainly interesting. If she
had only known! Carlo was so vulnerable right now after Ins 'thing' with
Triana. And so anxious to please her. He would think Anne was
invitedjust for him. 256 Chapter22 Brenda's reasons for accompanying
Anne to Cap Ferrat were not strictly altruistic. She had been working at
a fever pitch for eight months and she desperately needed some time off.
But more than that she needed to put some distance between herself and
Fredenco. Wanting to be with him was becoming an obsession. She thought
of nothing else eighteen hours a day. And though her thoughts of him
were directed in terms of work, she stall felt intimately tied to him. -
She was determined to make the most of her vacation. She would find
someone - anyone - to take her mind off Segri. She'd have marvelous
adventures winch she could use to impress him when she returned. Perhaps
he would become jealous and hopeless though it seemed make a declaration
of his passion for her. It was a crummy plan, she thought. Underhanded,
and dishonest, and desperate. She'd never felt like this before in her
life, so attuned to someone, and yet forbidden to sing about it. Why am
I playing a game like this? she wondered as she sat on the terrace of
Elena's villa so far away from him. And the answer roared in her head -
because I love him. There,,she had finally admitted it. In love with a
married man! No hope for a relationship. He was so moral, and so tied to
his wife, if not for love then from duty. I'm more stupid than Anne, she
thought, at least 257 she chooses single men. She thought of Frederico's
smile, and his strength, and his tremendous power over people, and she
almost wept for leaving him. Everyone in France, at least everyone
Brenda met, paled by comparison to him. The young Frenchmen were no more
dynamic than the young Italians, and she longed for Fredenco. She wrote
him witty one-liners on picture post-cards telling herself that he only
thought of her as one of his kids, who had gone off to summer camp. When
she could stand it no longer, she decided to cut her vacation short and
fly back to Rome. She simply had to do something! She couldn!t sit any
longer with a winning sweep-stakes ticket in her hand and not try to
collect on it. Anne was dismayed at the idea. 'What will I do here
alone, without youT 'You don't need a chaperon, you hardly know I'm
here. Besides, Elena doesn't want me on her cruise.' Anne couldn't argue
the point, butBrenda represented more thanjust a friend or someone fi-om
home. She stood as a needed reminder of Anne's meagre beginnings -
something Anne tended to overlook when she was surrounded by the glitter
of Elena's life-style. 'I'll really miss you, Bren,' she said, 'but I do
understand your need to go back.' When Brenda arrived in Rome, her
second thoughts were having second thoughts. She didn't know how to
approach Frederico. What if he wasn1 glad to see her? What if there was
absolutely no chance for her at all? She went home to the apartment and
stared at the walls. Textured stucco, chipped tile in the bathroom. It
was hardly a place he'd feel comfortable in. It smelled dusty fi-om
being closed up and it had no romance. But 258 bAt could she do, this
was all she had. Time after time Aw went to the phone to call him, but
lost her nerve. He'd never come here, and she couldn't blame him. She
needed neutral territory. Summoning her nerve again, she checked into
the Excelsior Hotel and ordered champagne sent to her room. She took a
luxurious bath and then got dressed again. It still wasn't the right
time to call him. She waited until his work day was over and then
finally called him at the bank, explaining that she had suddenly decided
to come home and that she was at the Excelsior Would he come to see her,
she asked, assuring him that nothing was wrong. Still, when he arrived
at her room he was concerned. Seeing him standing there, briefcase in
hand, she started to shake, and all the colour drained from her face.
She asked hiin to sit down. Tor God's sake, Brenda, what is wrong? Did
something happen in Cap Ferrat?' 'Yes, something happened. I'll tell you
after we have some champagne. Would you like some champagne?' 'In a
while,'he replied. But she handed him the bottle anyway, and two
glasses. What could it be that she was afraid to tell him? That she was
pregnant, that she was getting married, that she was broke, that she was
dying? He waited. Trederico, I needed to talk to you.' 'I am listening.'
'It's hard for me to say. I don't want to lose your friendship; it is
very important to me.' 'Brenda, for heaven's sake, what is it? Why don't
you look at me when you talk?' She shook her head. Vs too hard.' She
took a deep breath. Trederico, I love you.' And then she looked at him.
'I adore you, I worship you, and I want you.' She 259 stared at him full
force, the look on her face ffill of emotion. He was Hooded with
amazement and shock. She loved him! This endearing girl, who wanted to
conquer the world for breakfast, loved him! An ageing Jew with a mind
for business and no knowledge of love. He'd been so affidd of what she
was going to say. He shook his head in wonder. I don't know how to
love,'he said. She touched him on his cheek, on his lips, on his chest,
on his groin.You can learn,'she said. And she picked up his hand,
kissing his palm, and placed it on her breast. 'Oh, God, Frederico, I
love you soF And she kissed him when he realized that he did know how to
love. 260 Chapter23 Anne awoke with a feeling of giddiness and nearly
leaped out of bed. Ahead of her stretched mom days like those she had
already spent with Carlo. Could she really have known him for just this
little while9 It felt as if they'd been together forever. I-lis smile
was as brilliant as the sun filtering through the shutters on to the
dark green carpet. He made her feel wonderfid! His voice, his touch, were
gentle and soothing, but beneath the surface she sensed a torrent of
unreleased passion. Ah, there was nothing like a beautiful man to help
one forget. I She crossed from the Louis XV bed to the armaire and
studied her brown body.' turning to am if the wars were visible. She
used touches of make-up to bide them. If I were Catholic rd light a
candle to Dr Tzaro, she thought. Her breasts were-brown from topless
bathing and her bottom. was brown from nude bathing. No one in their
crowd wore suits, and only wrapped a sarong around themselves to eat
luncheon. And rve got the best tits and ass of them all, she thought.
She had found the community nakedness a little hard to handle. She
wanted to show off her beautiful body, but she did have a natural
modesty. In the beginning she had undressed gradually, rubbing her body
with oil ,as she uncovered a part at a time, lying on her mat, 261 never
looking at anyone else. She kept her eyes closed most of the time, and
reffised to get off her mat. But lately it was becoming easier. It had
been strange to see Carlo nude before they'd even been to bed together.
Bed. That was their only problem. She would tie up in knots when he
tried to make love to her. Even that dreadful night with Larry she had
not felt as inhibited. Carlo was so enthusiastic, as soon as he came
near her he was all over her, never giving her a chance to react. She
opened the armoire door and chose an outfit for the day, carrying it
with her into the bathroom. Carlo's enthusiasm wasn't the problem, she
thought, hangmig the gauze pantsuit on the back of the door. It's me. I
don't like sex that much. I'm not one of those girls who can allow
anyone to make love to them. But if I don't want Carlo, what do I want?
She did want him; at a safe distance, as a prince on a white horse
should be. Not expecting anything more from her but that she be
beautifal and attentive. He had the potential to hurt her, as others
had. She stared at the blue and white tiles of the bathroom. I don't
want to be hurt again. The day was glorious. They drove to the Colombe
dOr, had a delicious lunch, very good wine, and took a lazy stroll
around the countryside. That evening, after dinner at the villa with all
of Elena's friends, they went off alone to a discotheque in Beaulieu and
afterwards walked back along a footpath to Elena's estate. Anne had kept
him at arm's length all day, but suddenly Carlo turned her towards him
and kissed her. He gently touched her breasts, then massaged her nipples
as he held her to him, his groin pressed against her. She tilted away
from him as usual and gently deflected her chest 262 .....V4hat he lost
his grip, but she didn't pull away from his "th. Suddenly he grabbed her
between her legs and held her tight. 'Don't do this to me, cara Anne,
why do I not please you? Why do you not desire me? I want you so much, I
am, consumed with it, I feel myself here every moment that I am away
from you!'He pressed his penis against her. 'Just the thought of you
makes me come. I taste you in my dreams, and smell you with my meals;- I
can think ofnothing but you.'He held her.And you, you are lukewarm.
Never before has a woman not dewed me as you do. What is wrong? Do you
not love me? I love you, my darling!' 'You speak of love so lightly,
Carlo. It is not a word you can give away as you do the keys to your
car. Love is not what you are feeling. You don't love me. It's too soon
for love.' He looked at her in surprise. To him, love was the easiest
thing in the world to feel when a woman was beautiful and desirable. It
was true he did not love every woman he was with, only the special ones.
He needed to love, and be loved, but his requirements for it were not as
stringent as his American inamorata's. 'Don't say that, my darling. Do
you not feel the blood in me, the heat in meT He took her hands, placing
them on his erect penis. She could feel the heat from him, the ardour. -
'When we make love, you act as though you are playing a part. You move
in the right places, and you sigh in the right places, but your
lovemaking has not the same excitement as when we dance, or when we
swim, or even when we eat caviar,'he said. A shiver coursed through her
body. Naked on the beach, she was bewitching; clothed and coifted in the
263 clubs, she was enchanting; but snuggled under her perspiring lover
who was desperate to get a response from her, who was used to pleasing
his women, she was a wet rag. There had to be something wrong with her.
She couldn't let go, even with him. He was too perfect, too loving. And
if she did let go she wouldn!t know what to do. He really doesn love me,
she told herself. If he saw what I really was, if he knew me as I really
am, not this glamorous, educated fraud, he wouldn't give me a second
glance. 'Am I too mild for you, darlingThe asked her. 'Do you want
someone else? A woman, perhaps? Was Brenda your lover? I dont mind. I
understand. It's all right.' She pulled away from him.'You filthy
man,'she said, and ran back to the house. By the time she reached her
room she was crying bitterly. So there it was again. The picture ofJiU
and Jeffrey, on that table, in that position. Only tins time she saw
herself and Carlo and Brenda. She was out of her element with Carlo. She
didn't know what he expected. She had tried hard. She had done all the
right things - what did he want? She looked in the mirror. Her small
nose and cleft chin caught the light. She turned her head, her loosely
flowing hair moved over her tanned skin, she was beautffid! Wasn't that
enough? She remembered those hours in the hospital when she felt the
same as now, worthless and alone and unloved. What am I doine. she
wondered, staring at herself. Why do I make myself feel guilty? Just
because Alessandro and Jeffrey hurt me doesn't mean Carlo will too. She
would not lose Carlo as she had lost Jeffrey and Alessandro. But she
knew that to retain the upper hand was essential. If she ran after him
and apologized, she would be relinquishing a position that she wasn't
secure enough to abandon. Her sexual education would have to 264 Ovelop
slowly. She would try to be more open with him, less guarded, try to
learn from him. And who could be a better teacher than Carlo? Carlo was
relieved that Anne was not a lesbian. But he was puzzled about her.
Maybe she was frigid, but that didn't jibe with her sensual demeanour or
the carefi-ee attitude she seemed to have about life. She was
rdreshingly enthusiastic, after the blas6 women he knew unaware of her
beauty, as if it were new. He liked that! Ld she listened to him There
were times when they had begun to make love that he sensed a spark, a
response in her. But it died as soon as it appeared. He hoped to fire
that spark, but he was frustrated with every encounter. Perhaps she
didn't know how to make love! As crazy as it seemed for anyone as
beautiful as she to have missed an education with the number of lovers
she must have had! He asked her questions, indirectly, when they were
talkin of other aspects of her life - how old she was when she was
married, had she been a virgin, faithful to her husband, how long had
she been divorced9 In the year since her divorce, there could have been
a different lover every week, he thought. But when he asked her how many
men she had dated, she shrugged and said, 'Only you.'He wasn't fooled by
her answer. They all said he was the only one. Anne knew what Carlo was
getting at and she was grateful to him for his discretion. That night
when he took her in his arms, she could feel the difference. He
approached her with a tenderness; she responded with confidence. He was
eager and excited, as if he were initiating a virgin into the glories of
sex. Every one of his partners, 265 who, when he was young, had taught
him and when he was older were his equal, had been experienced. Now his
beautiful Anne was presenting him with the greatest challenge of his
thirty-two years. He only hoped he could awaken her sufficiently and
overcome her reluctance. He was patient, he was gentle, and he was very
determined. He touched her until she drew away and he could find exactly
how far to go before she stopped him, then he'd retreat until she
trusted him again, until he could go an inch ftirther, a curve further
without feeling her withdraw. He marvelled at the walls she had built
around herself; she was nude on the beach all day, but at night she
insisted on pyjamas. He lay in bed each night after she hadfiallen
asleep and satisfied himself with a few quick strokes. He thrilled with
the anticipation of what she would be like when he finally unpeeled her,
got to the centre of the real Anne. lie taught her to touch him, to taste
him, to watch him respond as well. He kissed her mouth, touching her
lips, her tongue, showing her what a sensuous area it could be., He
tested what gave her the most pleasure, until, in a spirit of
experimentation, she allowed him to try his penis there, briefly, ,
teasingly, which he withdrew immediately before she could decide against
it, before she could form negativity. And, strangely enough, she liked
it - the size and feel of it on her lips - and she explored'him timidly
with her tongue. She never questioned the slowness of their journey, as
he played with her' and fondled her and waited. She began to anticipate
small changes in his movements, the tiny step further he took each time,
his knowledge about just where to stop. His technique was working. She
found herself in a fever of excitement. Every new area he included
became her favourite. She 106gan to love his touch - to think about the
next thing VWwoulddo. When he finally included her nipples in his
caresses, touching her with fingertips he had moistened by placing them
in her mouth, she uttered her first sigh of real pleasure and felt her
first surge of sexual juices. E[er nipples became like two buttons that
opened the doors to pleasure. He need only press them, touch them, look
at them, and she would sigh and moisten without hesitation. And still he
waited, knowing that he was close, certain of victory. The more he gave
of himself, the more he loved her. She lay before him with her anus and
legs apart while he touched her body. 'Tell me what you think. I know
you are gonig to touch my vagma and I need to know what you think about
it,'Anne asked. I'What do you think when you touch my penis9 When you
taste meT I like it!'The realization was incredible th her. 'I like it,
Carlo. I like the shape of you and the firmness and the smell, everything
about you I like. And especially I like the way you touch me.' He
smiled. 'I feel the-same about you.' Sut I am different from you,',she
said. Thank the Lord for that.'He laughed. 'Don't laugh at me. Please.'
Tin not laughing,'he said. 'I think that every part of you is beautiful
and I want to touch you and taste you and be inside you!' She shivered
at his directness, wanting to hear it but frightened all -the same.
'I've always thought it was wrong to touch. But it can't be any more
wrong to touch me than it is to touch you!' 'That's right!' 266 267 'And
those feelings that you have when you climax, those are good feelings
for you, aren't thby?' 'The best ones,'he said. 'Then they can't be bad
for me, can they?' He shook his head. She looked at him sitting above
her. His body was smooth and lean in the filtered light, the muscles in
his abdomen were outlined by the tension of his position. 'Oh God,
Carlo, Ive been afraid of it for so long.' 'I know,'he said. 'Show me,
please show me now,'she begged him. He began exciting her in the way he
had trained her, watching as he brought her to reactions she had never
allowed, only this time he told her how beautiful she was and how much
he loved to touch her and how good she felt to him and how natural it
was to do what he was doing. And she came, the first time in many years;
as it happened, she stared at him in gratitude and trust and pleasure.
And he said, 'Again.' And she nodded; he started over, only this time he
entered her and moved gently against her until she came under him in a
definite and deliberate response. And the next time he placed her on top
of him and guided her to pleasure, and the next time he showed her how
to tighten her muscles and thrust against him while he held himself
exactly right for her, and enjoyed her fascination, and she learned and
learned, and then when she had done it all, when she had learned to
control her every angle, her every muscle, her every portion and yell
with every convulsion, he came with her, a soaring, tearing, giving of
pleasure that culminated his devotion and his extraordinary ability. 268
Chapter24 Anne lay on the deck of the Brisson feeling the gentle
movement of the sea beneath her, the,cooling ocean breeze on her tanned
skin. She didn't know which was more wonderfid, this idyllic voyage or
her sexual awakening. A dark closet, she thought, that's where I've been
living all my LIFE. She wondered how Brenda was doing in Rome and hoped
everything was all right with her. She missed Brenda and her pragmatic
way of finding reality in an unreal setting. This sleek, pearl-coloured
yacht, with its slender, brown skiniied guests, provided endless luxury
just as the superb food and sunshine and lovemaking had an over-ripening
effect. Sometimes Anne wished for the firmness of hard mouthfids after
all the cream puffs, and more clarity in discerning the Merence between
appearances and reality. Lately she had lost that ability and didn't
know why she loved making love with Carlo, yet wa=1 certain that she
loved him. She opened her eyes to watch Elena and Norm Martinson playing
backgammon on the pad next to her. Elena was a brilliant player. She
never made an error and her guesses were always lucky, but she wasn't
getting the dice today. Anne marvelled at Elena's ability to concentrate
and her bright-eyed appearance this morning. After last night's session,
Anne was exhausted. I've got to do 269 something about these nighttime
ordeals, she thought. I'm not helping her and she's getting to me. Elena
had sworn she was clean, off the junk, as she called heroin. But last
night she had awakened Anne again in near hysteria. It was the same
panic, she said, that she had prior to her addiction to drugs. She
begged Anne to talk her down, to help her over the crisis so that she
could'make it. And Anne sat with her all night as she had many other
nights before, knowing that Elena's increased dependence on her was not
benefiting either one of them. Elena had manipulated her into a role of
surrogate everything - therapist, mother, daughter, and friend. She was
drained by Elena's need to be supported and loved and if she tried.to
stay away, Elena engineered a situation where Anne would be trapped into
listening while Elena cried, complained, bemoaned, and vilified everyone
in her LIFE. Her hysteria was loosely based on fact, primarily based on
selfindulgence. She demanded immediate gratification and Anne couldn't
say no to her. More and more it was apparent that psychotherapy, no
matter how much Elena denounced it as quackery, status crap and
uselessness was the only way. But at the moment they were all captives
on this floating hotel, only putting in to small ports where no help
could possibly be found. By day Elena was supercalm super-hostess. Most
nights by 2 a.m. she was snivelling and hysterical. .  'You don't know
what its like,'she had told Anne the night before for the hundredth time.
'You can't imagine what pain this is. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I
can't stay calm without drugs. There are nettles in my blood scratching
from inside. You're young and beautfful; I'm ageing and miserable.' 270
,-_1ena,' Anne sighed, repeating the same sentences, $YOU are elegant.
Everyone looks at you wherever we go. You have boy-friends who adn-dre
you. You're at a wonderful time in your life.' Oh, what do you
know!'Elena snpped.'Your taste is in your ass!'But she regretted her
remark and clung to Anne, weeping, 'Oh, forgive me, I'm such a shrew.
You're right. What should I do? Oh, dear girl, why don't 'YOU brush my
hair for me. Massage my temples. It always relaxes me. Perhaps I'll be
able to sleep if you do it.2 I So Anne brushed her hair and massaged her
head and her temples until she noticed that Elena was masturbating. Anne
pushed her away, horrified. 'I don't care what you do, Elena, but not
right now! How could you do such a thing in front of meT 'Well, what do
you expect me to do to relax? I do this so much my poor clitoris is
almost raw!' 'Elena, honestly! What's wrong with Norm?' 'Oh, come off
your high horse, darling. Don't tell me you didn't find that a little
bit se ' x3r? Anne got up to leave. 'No, I don't! I don't understand
you, Elena.' But her repulsion was mixed with the slightest bit of
curiosity. Why do I put myself through this, she wondered. Why do I let
her affect me? ,It is wonderfid to want sex again,' Elena said. That was
the only bad thing about using junk. After a while sex became a bore,
even with Gino.' 'I should think that overdosing wasn't too pleasant,
either! Who is Gino?' 'Never mind,'Elena said. 'He's not important.'
'Elena, you need professional help. Someone should be taking care of you
who knows what he's doing. I'm not helping you at all.' Elena's eyes
filled with tears. 'Darling,, you are so 271 sweet, so lovely. You don't
know how helpffil you are, how much I depend on you. Only you make my
life bearable lately.' Anne sighed. 'But it's wearing me out. I'm tired,
Elena. These all-night sessions are more than I can take, and they don't
help you! We talk for hours, night after night. You tell me you are
afraid that you will not be able to stay off drugs, and I tell you to
have courage and that III help you. Then you say you feel much better,
much stronger, and you owe it all to me. But a few nights later, we
start it all over again as though we made no progress, as though the
whole damn process had never happened. I can't take it any more. I'm not
a therapist. That's what you need.' 'My husband used to tell me that. He
wouldn't help me either. I begged him not to abandon me after Gino, but
the bastard wouldn't listen. All he cared about were his boats and his
French mistress. Oh, what's the use!' She sighed and put her arms around
Anne, but Anne shrugged away from the embrace, uncomfortable with these
physical demonstrations. The proximity of an adult female made her
acutely aware of the similarities in their bodies, the hidden underlying
aspects. She was still disturbed by last nighVs encounter. Her feelings
for Elena grew more confused every day. Elena fawned on her, and then
snapped at her. She had the charm to draw one in, to flatter and cajole,
and then she would attack with a sharp remark. Her volatile behaviour
was impossible to guard against, yet Anne felt in her debt, even though
Anne was the one who had saved her life. Anne's awakening to erotic
pleasures had opened her to all her feelings, and increased her desire
to help Elena. But Elena took advantage of these feelings and lost no
opportunity to brush her every so often, down her spine, on the side of
her neck, under her 272 k And embarrassingly, Anne would react with a
.49ver, or a nuzzle, thinking it was Carlo, feeling the same responses,
and shocked to find Elena's impish grin wben she turned. I Carlo came
and sat down next to her and kissed her shoulder. Shejumped guiltily.
"Who is GinoTshe asked him. 'A friend of mine,' he answered. 'I've known
him for Years- He is a very wonderful fellow, but he had an argument
with my mother and now we don't see him any more.2 "When did that
happenT I think it was after my parents'divorce. Gino and my mother were
lovers. It was very sad for them. Gino's family has no money. He did not
like it that my mother was rich and he was not. And he has a temper,
Gino. So does my mother. They fought all the time. The last tune they
fought she called the police and he went away and never came back. But
you may meet him.' 'Why?' - 'I understand that he is the manager of a
hotel in POrt4AMO.' 'You'd better warn Elena so that she won't be upset
if she sees him.' 'I will.'He looked at her strangely. 'Was Gino as
young as youT 'No, he is ten years older. Why all the questionsT 'I just
wondered,' she said. 'When did your mother start taking heroinT He
stopped to think. 'Some time after Gino left. There were many different
men for a while. And then there were no more men and she started getting
worse, but we were all so blind, we didn't know why. The first two times
she tried to stop she went back to the drugs again. But this time she
will not.' 273 Anne prayed that he was right. 'If I knew who gave her
the drugs I would kill himPhe added vehemently. Anne looked at him in
surprise. It was not an idle threat; there was no doubt in her mind that
he meant what he'd said. It was incredible to her that people of this
stature and background could be involved in such sordid activities. You
never know what rot lines the castle walls, she thought. No one's safe
from problems. Especially Elena. And I knew what her problems were
before I came here. She looked over at Elena, concentrating on her game
as if she hadn't a care in the world. Knowing that Elena was an addict
and seeing it firsthand was not the same thing. 'Anne.'Carlo caressed
her thighs, but she brushed his hand away- 'I want you, my darling,' he
whispered in her ear.'Let's go to my room.'He stood up, puffing on her
hand. 'Not now, dear,'she said, turning over on the pad. 'Me sun feels
so good.'R was a flimsy ex4puse, but with Elena sitting there reminding
her of last night, she couldn't think about sex. I must stop dwelling on
Elena's behaviour, she thought. But how could Elena have made an
overture like that? She's Carlo's mother! Carlo turned to see if anyone
had overheard them. It was hard enough to keep anything private on this
ship where everybody knew everyone elWs business. Elena had noticed the
exchange. He glared at his mother as he walked over to the telescope,
his special Galileo Officine, 600-power. There was nothing in sight but
he fiddled with it anyway, trying to control his temper. He didn't like
being refused and he had never stood for it before. For the first time
in his LIFE he was in love. He wanted to be with Anne every moment,
share every 274 and feeling, but she was always doing someelse, reading,
or sunning, or exercising, or being nionopolized by his mother. Anne
watched him sulk. Why did he press her so? lWhat more did he want? She
knew what he wanted; no one had ever loved her this much before. But she
couldn't let go and trust him. She'd been hurt by Jeffrey by Alessandro,
and she was afraid of being hurt again, or so she told herself. But
there were things about him that bothered her. He was spoiled, used to
having 'his own way. He'd send his food back over the slightest
imperfection, and only talked about two subjects, yachts and clothes.
Certain fashion designers meant as much to him as if they were world
leaders, yet his interest in politics was minimal, unless a terrorist
group attacked any of his holdings or those of his friends. He never
read a book of any kind, and he never passed a mirror that he didn't
study himself in, baring his teeth, smoothing his hair, 'inspecting his
pores. Once, Anne even caught him pulling his chest hairs out of the
cleavage of his open shirt 'in a better arrangement. She supposed he was
no diffierent from anyone else in the group. But his worst habit was
telling her the plots of movies that she hadn't seen. He had no ability
to synthesize a plot or tell a highlight briefly, he mixed his pronouns,
never omitted a-detail, and always told the ending. Even with his
$physical beauty, he paled by comparison to Alessandro. "She didn't want
to compare them but she couldn't help it Alessandro was in her thoughts
no matter what she did And the more critical she grew of Carlo, the more
he wanted her. But she couldn't have Alessandro, and that was that. She
looked at Carlo standing there, the set of his back displaying his
anger. What the bell, she thought, getting up and going over to him. She
put her arms 275 llk around him and rubbed herself against his back. But
he wouldn't capitulate immediately to her advances. She would have to
appease him more. She nosed the back of his ear. 'Don't be grumpy. I'm
ready if you are.' Carlo leaned back against Anne and said to her,'You
go first. IT meet you below deck.' Anne kissed his back and left,
crossing next to Elena and Norm. When she had gone, Elena called out to
Carlo, 'Backgammon, dear?' He came and stood behind her. She had two
moves on the board to bear off, a five and a four, but she threw a three
and a one. Verde!' 'I'll play you later, Mother.' 'Carlo! I want to talk
to YOUF 'In a while,'he sighed. She nodded to Norm, who vacated his
seat. 'Sit down, darling.' Carlo sat reluctantly, knowing what was
coming. 'I hate to see you make a fool of yourself. Especially after
your recent behaviour.' She was referring to his affair with Triana de
Marcos that she had forced him to end. He could not withstand his
mother's wrath, but then there was no great love between him and Triana
'What do you mean, a fool of myself?' 'I mean that Anne will be
returning to her country. I do not want you to be hurt, to expect too
much.' 'Say what you mean.' . 'She is my guest and you are my son. I
would feel responsible if it turned out badly.'Her eyes begged him to
understand, but he looked away. Tin in love with herF 'You're always in
love, Carlo.' 'Not like this. I want to marry her.' 'Marriage! Don't be
ridiculous. She is not for you. She 2.76 divorced woman. She's a nobody,
you would be i6eied at. You am heir to a title.' Then go ahead and
laugh, Mother!' he said, and left her there before he really lost his
temper. What did she want from him'? No one was ever good enough. Not
his childhood sweethearts, not his mistresses. If this girl "sn't right
for him, who was9 Elena treated Anne as if 'she were some special
goddess, but when he did the same she suddenly became judgemental. It
didn't make sense. He would show her she was wrong. Anne was perfect for
him. 277 1k Chapter25 Alessandro pushed through the revolving door of
the $herry Netherland Hotel and walked down the red carpet to the
sidewalk. How did people fimcdon in New York in the summer'? He shifted
the cumbersome sample bag in his arms while he waited for a cab, and
winced when a shot of pain ran across his back. Nearly -four months and
still his ribs hurt when he exerted himsI R was a good thing that his
LIFE was quiet at the 'moment. But he missed Anne. She was so much a
part of his thoughts and his life, it seemed unnatural that she voun't
here with him now. But perhaps it wouldn't be too long. In the meantime
she was better off with Elena, ,,,:sailing, vacationing until he had
arranged everything his own. He wanted to come to her with it all
hand,her back the business and her chance as she had handed over money
on his behalf. ,,Z,CA success 'I III e WO   d have done it even if she
hadn't paid his debt, t that he thought she didn't care about him. of
her unselfishness had given him new hope. ere to?'the cabdriver asked. t
Fifty-seventh between Second and Third,' he plied, and sat back for the
short ride from his hotel to '-,Lydia Bannerman's apartment. This
appointment was an incredible stroke of luck. Having Frederico Segri as
a P, "! 'partner was even more valuable than the money he I.provjided.
279 Lydia Bannerman was an institution in the world of couture. She had
more power in the marketplace of fashion than any other single
individual. For years she'd been editor of the most prestigious fashion
magazine, and she was truly a pacesetter. If she liked Anne's designs
there would be no stopping them. He was ushered into her study by an
Oriental houseman. 'It is an honour to meet you!'he said. Trederico
Segri is a very dear friend.' There was no beating about the bush with
this woman. She got straight to the point, always. She studied him
without smiling, her gaunt body held tightly against his charm. Women in
their sixties were not impervious. 'Now tell me about this prot6g6e of
yours, this Scott woman.' Alessandro's face softened. 'She's a
remarkable person, and her accomplishments are exceptional, but of
course I am here to show you her designs.' 'Why hasnt she come with
youT. 'At the moment she is on a much-needed vacation with friends and I
have taken over the management of our fine until she returns.' He opened
his portfolio and took out photos of the dress collection. He'd had it
modelled and photographed in New York a few days before. Ali, Cecily,'
Lydia commented, recognizing the girl. 'And Astrid. Good choices for
this look.' She nodded as she looked at the pictures, reflecting on them
quickly, perusing the shots one after the other, flip, flip, flip,
without a flicker of an opinion.Did I see a sample bag in MY
hallway?'She raised her head in the direction of the entry. 'Yes.'He
stood up.'I'll get them.' The Persian carpet at her feet served as a
display 280 strid. he unzipped the nylon bag, extracting one and one
hope after the other. She kept nodding, only one glance per outfit. That
140', an it would take. fabrics are extraordinary,' she said finally.
sShe reminds me of Mary McFadden. How old is she? mind. They're fine!'
She smiled. -0 call never Mildred Steinberg at Benders, and Howard
Privic at Bloomingdale's. This is definitely not for Lord  Taylor,
perhaps Barney's. And I've a few fi-friends you might see in Paris. When
do you show at the pr6t? You are Showing, aren't youT 'Yes, we're
showing. The fifth day.' He wanted to sbout. Againshe nodded, reaching
over to a pad of saver or him. ,per. In plum ink sheiotted down some
names f s who I want you to see in Paris. Im certain you need to use my
name in Italy. And here's my address on St Honord. You bring this girl
to meet me on the very first day of the Paris showing. I always enjoy
meeting talent.' He put the samples back in the bag, wishingAnne "well
here to share this moment. I like your suit,', she commented on his grey
summer @'Vinstripe. 'Thank you,'he smiled.'It's my own manufacture.' 'I
thought as much. So you both have it, huh?' Her eyes disappeared in the
folds around them when she laughed. He found her perfectly charming.
'Your friend is going to be as big as any of them, my dear Duke,'she
said.'And your name won't hurt her either. Look what a royal title did
for Diane von Furstenberg.' He took her hand in his. 'I cannot tell you
what gratitude I feel at the moment.' 'Then why don't you take me to
hinch?' she said. 'I 281 want to hear the whole story. How you met her
and what my friend Frederico Segri had to do with all of this.' 'I shall
be delighted,'he said. Caravelle?' 'Oh God, no!' she exclaimed. 'I want
to eat, not to be eaten. IT take care of it,'she said.'Do you like
Szechuan food?p 'Very much,'he answered. 'Then we shall dine here!'She
rang for her houseman. 'My chef is a genius.' Gino entered the last
receipt in the ledger and closed the book sharply. The sound echoed
across the lobby and the assistant manager glanced into his office
curiously. Gino ignored him and yawned. It was afternoon break time,
time to sleep for a while. He hated this job. Wondered again as he had
countless tunes already if working for Visconte was worth the drudgery
and decided that it was. But dealing was much more exciting,
life-and-death risks. He had been lucky up to now,             to stay
just ahead of the police. But he 91119 had felt them closing in. They
had picked up Martine and Lucien in Pans, that was half of his
organization. Giorgio managed to get word to him before he went into
hiding, though he had probably fingered the other two to save his own
neck. He wouldn't dare turn on me, Gino thought, because he knows IT
have one of Visconte's men take care of him. Id even slit his throat
myself if I found him pulling anything on me. Hassan could give me some
pointers on technique when he arrives in Portofino. Hassan was an expert
with the knife. Gino sighed, and leaned back in his chair. The sea and
the sky beckoned to him fi-om beyond his office. He just wasn't cut out
for a steady job. Well, with the new shipment Hassan was bringing he'd
be able to find some new customers. Very rich customers. Maybe get some
of his 282 Ones back again. Hassan had new respect for him that he was
involved with Visconte. Enough to the amount of his shipments. I should
have asked Visconte for more than two per ,cont of the sale to do the
report on this hotel, he thought. 1 would have made much more than that
in one week ofAealing, and he'd been here two months. Of course his job
had no risks, no Giorgios to worry about, and a deady income of two percent of a legitimate hotel wasn't bad. In fact it was a substantial
reward for merely driving the car while Mario and Rocco roughed up some
fag dress designer in Rome last spring. When Ivu were loyal to Visconte
there was no telling how far you could go. Maybe next tune Mario and
Rocco would let bun do.more thanjust drive the car. IfElena had been
panicky before, the prospect of seeing Gino again terrified her. I That
bastard!' she said to Anne. That scum, that beast! Oh God, Anne, he was
incredible. Stay away from him. Promise me that you will stay away from
bun. Don't even meet him. Youve got to be so careful of him. I can't
tell you what he's like. Oh, I hate him. With all my JI heart I hate
him.' If only she had Anne's courage, she thought, clutching the hand
that was offered. Look how extraordinary Anne was, look what she had
done with herself, what she'd carried off. And even before her change,
in Paris, she'd been sweet and sincere. It was only after meeting Anne
that Elena had begun to realize she could,love a woman as she had once
loved a man. If Anne could love her, could help her share the pain, life
might be bearable. But Elena knew she was raining her chances with Anne
behaving the way she was. And she was filled with self-loathing for
daring to compete with her 283 own son for Anne's favour. What a
horrible pre4icament! Only she could devise such disgusting circum
stances. And yet she had brought Annewith her on the cruise, practically
throwing her at Carlo, and now Carlo loved her too. If he knew what was
in his mother's mind he would never forgive her, he would never get over
it. Still, happiness was within her reach; Carlo would not find out.
They arrived at Portofino in a state of hyperkinesis, everyone
electrified by his own voltage for his own reasons. Elena faced her
nemesis, Carlo was shopping for diamonds, Anne was curious to meet Gino,
in spite of the warnings, Norm Martinson had begun a flirtation with
Triana de Marcos. He was overwhelmed to be on the'might fucle list of a
baroness and she was interested in anyone her 'best friend' Elena was
interested in. Philippe de Marcos was about to purchase a villa in
Portofino at a steal, and Paolo Brisson was joining them with his
mother, havingiust left his mistress in Capri. Their first day they
lunched on the port at a cak, the yacht moored majestically out in
deeper water. The Brisson was enormous as yachts went, 185 feet with
three smokestacks and ultramodern design. The appointments were elegant
and couldn't have been more complete. The owners of a yacht company
would hardly have less. After lunch Carlo and Anne decided to walk up to
the Hotel Splendido where his grandmother and father were staying. The
hotel, a salmon-coloured Mediterranean villa, was perched high on a hill
overlooking the bay. The footpath leading to the hotel was bordered on
both sides by luxurious ferns and the air was soft and moist as Anne and
Carlo climbed hand in hand towards the hilltop. 284 The lobby of the
hotel had dark velvet walb,' Jotqrrupted occasionally by carved marble
fireplaces, .'.ftwered roseprinted cottons covered the ffirruture, a
contrast to the antique paintings and rubbed walnut of the woodwork.
Anne thought it was one of the most bqaufM places she'd ever seen.
Madame Brisson was happy to see them and Carlo proudly presented Anne to
his father, -whose raised eyebrow gave his official seal of approval.
Carlo's resemblance to his father was strong. The original and the copy,
Anne thought as they both crossed their legs in the same way and tilted
their chins at the same angle, eagerly discussing the Sheikh of Blutamin
who was staying at the Splendido with his entourage, including eight
wives. The sheikh was contemplating the purchase of a Brisson yacht. The
hotel lorry sounded its horn and Anne thought she'd take it back to the
beach. She loved being with Carlo but she had to admit to herself that
all this talk about yachts was boring. It was Carlo's business, but
still she had expected more in the way of enlightened conversation from
her new group of friends. These people knew captains and kings, and all
they could talk about was who was screwing whom. They were interested
only in themselves. And blas   -6. She remembered how eagerly Alessandro
had tried to succeed. How much it meant to him. He was better off than
they, even with his failures, because he had a dream. They were merely
custodians of a way of life. And poor custodians at that. 'I'm going
down to the beach, Carlo.' He stood up, and kissed her.'I'lljoin you in
a while,'he said. She decided to walk down after all, following the
steep mountain curves and pine-scented glades until they 285 gave way to
a small crowded beach needed in a cove. Families lined every inch of
sand and spilled out of the beachaide cafes, festively dining in leisure
and luxury. Domesticity reigned. There would be no topless sunbathing
here. She walked along the tiny alley behind the restaurants lined with
beach shops, and went in to try on some outrageously priced, poorly made
bikinis; wandered into a shop filled with plastic mner-tubes and swim
fins, and another with caftans and beach togas. Then past another shop
with tourist curios and foreign papers until she came to a small
beachside hotel. It was smaller than the Splendido, but certainly as
elegant. She watched a group of new arrivals tumble out of a Mercedes
limousine. Their pale skins would be pink by tomorrow, tan the day
after. The hotel was covered with bougainvillaeas and other
vines.trailing on to a marble-and-tile courtyard. She glanced into the
lobby, fany and exclusive. The door to the managers office was open and
a man sat at a chrome-and-glass desk. He glanced up and looked at her,
and a shock of recognition poured through her. It was he! The man from
Deux Magots. Elena's connection. He saw her staring at him and winked.
Quickly she turned away, her heart pounding. He got up and came towards
her, his radar picking up her presence, but no look of recognition on
his face. 'B uon giorno, signorina, may I help you?' The same curly haw,
the same sinewy approach she'd seen in Paris. She shook her head.No,
thank you.' 'Are you all right? It is very warm today,'he said. It was
as clear this moment as it was then: this man, the package of heroin
under the chair, Elena unconscious on the floor. Her mind jumped ahead
but she was afraid to complete her thoughts. Just then she saw 286 gio
getting out of a taxi. 'Excuse me,' she said, 'but 1. my friend,' and
she turned and walked towards him. I§ut Carlo rushed past her with an
excited cry, embracing the other man with a shout. 'Gino! Ali, Gino, see
you have found my gorgeous girl.' He grinned at Ame. 'If there is a
beautiful woman within a mile, you 'Will find her right away, eh?' he
teased, punching Gino ,n the arm, who punched him back. 'Paisan,Gino
said, hugging Carlo in return. Anne's heart sank. So this was Gino,
Carlo's friend, Elena's seducer - a pusher! She had not put it together.
Gino studied her, wondering why she looked familiar but then Carlo
always found the best and tins one was certainly the best. Carlo
introduced them and they nodded, squaring off in competition. .'How are
you, my friendT Carlo asked, oblivious to the current. 'I heard you were
working in Portofino.' Gino nodded.Si, but only for the season. I am
looking to buy this hotel for a group of investors. I am getting all the
inside information about it.' Carlo nodded. 'You are doing well, then?'
Gino shrugged. 'Not bad.' And then he grinned and they both laughed as
if there were some privatejoke. . 'I have a cottage here.' Gino pointed
to the green hillsides above them. 'You must come and see it. Are you
here for a whileT 'A few days,' Carlo said. 'We docked this morning.
You'll have to come aboard and have dinner with us.' 'I'm sure Gino has
other plans,'Anne said pointedly. 'Well then, he will break thein.' Gino
interrupted,'I work until eleven.' 'Then you mayjoin us later.' 'Carlo',
Anne pleaded. God, he was dense! 'Yes, my darling,'he said, putting his
arm around her, 287 showing her off to his Mend and rival who stared at
him with envy. 'Carlo,' she. said, 'I believe that Elena might be
uncomfortable! Excuse me,'she said, turning to Gino, who was boring a
hole through her. 'But Elena told me you two were not on the best of
terms.' He threw back his head and laughed. Slena has already invited
me,' he said, pulling out of his pocket a note on Elena's personal
stationery and putting it back again. Tou see,Carlo said to her, 'you
don't have to worry, everything is fine.' But Anne was fimous. After all
Elena had said, how could she? Everything was not fine, not fine at all!
She studied Gino again, uncomfortable that she'd been protective of
someone who didn't want protection. What was it about this man that made
him an mtimate in everyone's life? Chapter26 288 The situation that she
feared did not materialize. In fact everyone was so cordial she began to
doubt that Gino WU as bad as she'd imagined. He came on board that night
and they dined on deck, superb pAt6, fi-eshly :,caught loup in
herb-butter sauce, and raspberry souffle. Elena had enticed a sous-chef
fi-om La Rdserve de Beaulieu. Because of what Anne knew about Gino's
economic situation, she was aware of how the extreme display of wealth
might affect him, and, ironically, how ,comfortable she felt in it. And
yet he was accepted in their midst as an honoured guest. The evening was
pleasant, orchestrated by Elena who eovered her nervousfiess well. Anne
wondered if at any moment someone might denounce Gino, but after a it
became apparent to her that no one was going to embarrass him. Besides,
Gino was ignoring her and concentrating all his attention on Elena and
Triana. At first she was merely surprised, and then she became annoyed.
He had certainly been interested when she met him. What could have
changed his mind? Did he really prefer them to her? But even as he
ignored her she took his behaviour as a kind of game; his glance,
however brief, and his presence at the table disturbed her. That night
when she and Carlo made love, she thought about Gino. That had never
happened before, and though her conscience bothered her, the sex had 289
never been better. She must tell Carlo what she knew about Gino, putting
him out of her reach. But something prevented her. She remembered Carlo's
words, W I knew who supplied my mother with drugs, I would kill
him!'I'll stay away from Gino she promised herself, just forget about
him. But the next day, wherever she wentshe saw him. He was having
coffee at the dock when she arrived for morning shopping, he was at the
tailor when she went for a fitting on her new silk outfit, and he was in
La Gritta when she stopped for lunch. Each time he nodded, coolly
appraising her, staying back, waiting for an opening which she would not
give. She began to look for him, with excitement. Her heart thumped
when she found him. She kept reminding herself of his past, yet she was
intensely drawn to him. Elena noticed Anne's growing attraction and
watched it with apprehension. Gino was stalking her, surely and
deliberately. How well she knew his ways. But playing with fire could be
deadly. She had told that to Anne. But Anne wasn't heeding her. Elena
couldn't blame Anne. She too was drawn against her will. It was an
extremely delicate situation and it required a lot of thinking. There
were her own feelings for Anne, and her need to protect Carlo. Then
there was her fascination with Gino, and her craving for all he could
give her - physical and otherwise. Philippe de Marcos's new villa came
furnished. Those who were tired of the sea were invited to stay with
him. Everyone accepted. Anne waited apprehensively - and fi-uitlessly -
for another encounter with Gino. She lay in the sun and did her
exercises while her anticipation grew with every hour. But in three days
at the villa she hadn't seen him 290 Carlo was more solicitous than
ever, though he with the Sheikh of Bhitamin, who had grown fiusy over
the purchase of a yacht, and couldn't .,Vend much time with her.
Actually, she preferred to be idone right now to think about Gino. The
sheikh was a short, fat man with a soft pudgy face andjet-black hair,
and he demanded Carlo's presence at WakfiLst meetings, cocktails, and
for various inspec- 140= of the Brisson. Carlo had decided, under
pressure fivin Elena, to take the sheikh and his entourage - eight
wives, his eldest son, a boy of eighteen, and his personal .adviser,
Hassan - out on the Brisson for a few days. He had not yet consummated a
sale and one didn't get an Arab client every day- Anne was looking
forward to Carlo's departure. Her pusion for him had cooled, now that
Gino had come on the scene, but she felt deeply tender towards him since
he had awakened in her long-quiescent sexual feelings. She ought to feel
guilty. She told herselfover an dover that she was being dishonest with
him by not telling him how she felt. She hated to hurt him, but she
,believed that Gino was avoiding her because of Carlo. As soon as Carlo
was gone she would see what would happen. She stood on the balcony of
the villa watching the ship depart until it was a small speck on the
water. She knew Carlo would be watching her with his telescope. The
gorgeous group, as Anne thought of them, were all assembled for dinner
at the Hotel SPIendido. They had the corner table, while behind them the
bay of Portofino, unobstructed by any pillars or serving carts, listened
in the moonlight. The dining-patio was covered by a flowering arbour
whom blossoms glowed in the candlelight. Paolo Brisson was on Elena's
right and 291 Philippe de Marcos on her left, followed by Anne and
Madame Brisson. Across from Anne sat Triana and Norm Martinson. Elena
was in one of her moods. No one could touch her. She was gay and
brittlely charming. She wore a gown plunging to the waist, caught there
by an enormous diamond, and she regaled them with gossip about the sex
life of the jet set. When Elena finally ran out of anecdotes and energy,
the company broke up into smaller groups. Norm and Triana got up to
dance. Across the dance floor Anne noticed Gino ask the waiter a
question, then walk directly towards her. He came forward and asked her
to dance, but she felt it was too soon to try herself with him. 'No,
thank you,'she said. But Elena insisted. 'Go on, darling. I shall love
watching you.' Anne was amazed by this complete turnabout. But Gino
didn't wait for her answer. He pulled back her chair and took her elbow.
She wanted to touch him, but dared not. They began to dance. He danced
smoothly, expertly, catching her waist now and then with a practised
move that brought her to him and out at exactly the right moment. They
danced together, yet they were apart. He was good. They continued to
dance - the beginners' ritual, feelers extended to sensitive receptors.
His eyes greenflecked and gold shine, drew her when his hands did not.
What could possibly be so different about him? she wondered, as she
turned away in her dance, but when she looked again, she felt it. He was
different! Elena watched them on the floor until she couldn't bear it
any longer. Their attraction to each other was magnetic. It was obvious
to anyone who looked. The pace of the music changed. Gino drew her to
him and this time she didn't resist. we amazing,'she said, more amazed
at her own at him. He was so sure of himself. been told that.' Alhat
wasn't a compliment. I'm not going to let you get Obw again. I'll go to
Carlo first.' -eady? ften why haven't you ah him, she thought. 'You
don't care if I tell Carlo, YOU - him what?' His hair curled at the
temples. what you notice at times like these, she !ere is CarloThe
asked with mock innocence. She stopped dancing in the middle of the song
and ihwed at him; a chill of fear coursed up her back as she tutderstood
this threat. He did not react as other people -take, e love he was
indifferent to the give-and              th pam As if to underscore her
thoughts he put his -Anger on his tongue, wetting it, and ran it across
her Her mouth watered in response. Without taking I eyes fi-om hers he
returned his finger to his mouth 9U ckedonit. The music came to a stop
and he pulled her across the out on to the terrace and adjacent to the
dining T yachts, he         white and sleek, toylike, bobbed on A water
while the scent of night jasmine and warm engulfed her. They circled the
terrace while she 14itited for his move - curious to see what it would
be. ,,.,-,-Iliere were two glasses of champagne awaiting them on -,Vtbe
balustrade. He must have ordered them before. She as flattered. He
handed her a glass and she sipped the ,,--vhampagne, avoiding him. He
brushed her shoulder with his finger. 'You don't me do youT 4-Nr,,, She
turned to udy          She would be honest. 'I'm at      him "M, Of YOU.
292 293 'I'm going to take you away from Carlo.'His voice was deep
velvet. 'Carlo doesn't have me.' 'He wants to marry you.' She was
surprised.'How do you know thatT He shrugged. 'I know the signs.
Besides, he told Elena. But you are not going to marry Carlo, you are
going away with me.' His eyes drew her and she felt that deep inside she
was melting. 'I would definitely not do thaV she said, almost to
herself. 'Though I don't know what I want to do. I know, though, that
I'm not going to marry Carlo.' The champagne had an unusual flavour.
'Carlo would make a wonderful husband. But not as exciting a companion
as V She had heard of his excitements and seen their results. 'I'll pass.'She finished her champagne. 'Is there any more of this?'She looked
around for the bottle. 'One glass is enough,'he said.Unless you want
mine.1 He offered it too eagerly. His was still fall. 'No, thank you.'
'Have you ever taken any drugsT 'No!' she said. 'Unless you count grass.
I've tried it twice. 'You're in for a treat, then.' 'Unhkely,'she said,
tossing her head, which suddenly felt very light. His expression was
strange, watchful, and his smile seemed to grow wider as she looked at
him, wider and wider until it blotted out everything. She had never been
in danger before, but she felt it now. He leaned forward to kiss her -
warm sureness, delicate explorations. She pulled away from him before he
could draw her in, and shook her head again to clear it, but it wouldn't
clear! He ran his fingers down her back; his touch was She put out her
hand to stop him, but they Her fingertips tingled, her feet felt the
gmand beneath them soften. What's wrong? she .wWlered-  She   felt as if
she were expanding and ".4wonishing at the same time. turned her towards
the moonlight, washing her in light, his in reflected glow, and he
traced her ith his hands, tendons wired out of flesh. -01,should be
getting back.'She felt very tired, but she 't leave. one will miss you.
Elena knows you're with me.' ti @.$6,netbing twisted inside of her. Oh,
Carlo! I should not "-iiotray you. Was this what Jeffz;ey had felt when
she "',iiated for him, trusted him? How can I be standing bore? she
thought. But she simply couldn't move. Tihat is wrong with meT she
asked. 'Is something r11 A.ivronel He reached into his pocket and drew
out a small gold cam filled with white powder. He put some to his nose
sniffed it while she stared in fascinated horror. He 65     it to her
and she shook her head trying to remain ered calm. He dipped his finger
again and placed it under her She wanted to push him away, but she
couldn't. eyes held her, challenged her, gleaming in the ght while hers
pleaded with him. Every instinct Id her no! She turned her head away
with great effort. had told him she didn't take drugs. He put the white
powder and the gold case away. 'It's all right. You won't need any more
of this after the c h           I gave you. Are you readyThe asked.
ampagne wN 'I don't know,'she answered, as they began to move across the
terrace. She felt flushed and dizzy as he took  her hand and led her to
a side path through the pine and . oak. It was darker there than in the
moonlight and she R I couldn't see her conscience. Soft night sounds
that 294 295 would have frightened her were gentle now, new ftiends to
guide her, darkness covering reality. He led her down a path, across
another patio cut out of the hillside several tiers below the
restaurant. At the end of the patio was a door. The sounds of merriment
filtered down through the foliage. Her blood raced in her body. She did
not know where she was, but it didn matter. Her resistance had been put
to rest long ago, along with the dregs of the champagne. 'Guest
quarters,'he mumbled, and held the door open for her. But she hung back,
feeling that the door did not open into a room but to another door and
yet another door, stretching out into an endless passage. Going where?
She watched in fascination as each one opened, hoping it would reveal
its secret to her. He stood at the door watching her and still she
didn't move. He touched her, gentle hands now, and began to undress her.
She felt him unpeeling her as skin from the fi-mt. Delicious nectar
oozed out of her as the layers gave way. Finally he broke the silence.
'Let yourself feel it all, Anne. Let go. This is your initiation. This
is where we christen your new parts. You've had just enough to help you.
My own blend! She felt too dreamy to be afraid as she floated beside
him. 'Hold on to my arm so I don't float away,'she said. And he did,
leading her into the villa, a small cottage with high ceilings and
marble floors. Did he carry her, she wondered, or had she floated to the
four-poster bed? She lay there looking at herself in mirrors that were
everywhere, ' saw her thickened rosebud. He came to her, kissing her
wrists and ankles. She felt them being encircled and banded, but she
didn't resist. Slowly the cords attached to the cuffs on her wrists and
ankles tightened, pulling apart her limbs so that she lay there
spread-eagled, her openings exposed. She wasn't afraid e made love to
her, though he did it for himself- .h her, using her, exciting her for
his enjoyment VON An exotic butterfly on a red velvet mounting, only
,:,she was pinned to a four-poster bed, a captive, and a
notqWte-unwilling one. Now he touched her for herself, rubbing her all
over with lotions that stung her flesh, tearing at it until it was raw.
When she realized that he was clawing her and biting her nipples until
they were burning with pain she screamed for him to stop. He struck her
hard, across the mouth, and when she shrieked with the pain he struck
hot again. Desperately she tried to p her arm and un           a fi-ee
from their bonds. But the more she pulled the tighter the ropes became.
Despite the pain and degradation she longed to have inside her and when
she thrust up to him, begging Urn to enter her, he cracked his hand
across her face and again. He sucked her toes and thighs and vagina and
for ,,,svery sound she uttered she was rewarded with a blow. she cried
and screamed for more until her screams became groans of pleasure and
she was nearly there. When she finally quieted down he entered her,
hard, strong, and cruel, carrying her to peaks of ecstasy she'd never
scaled before. 296 297 Chapter27 .9- -1 . . . . . . . . . .$he awoke in
her own room at the villa and thought it ?.-had been a nightmare. But
her body ached and her wrists and ankles were bruised where she had
pulled at the     s that cuff,      bound her to his bed. There were
large red m ks on her body and legs and clusters of broken blood ar
vessels here and there. She wasn't certain of what had F happened but
the memories were incredible and horrifying. She sat up slowly; her head
hurt more than the rest of her. She could hardly face herself. Carefully
she walked to the mirror. Her make-up was smeared and her lip was
swollen and blue where she had bitten it. She stared in the mirror and
wept, a victim forced to look at her own defilement. For all her beauty
she was ugly. Not just the bruises and the used expression, but her own
contribution to it clouded her face. He had not stopped all night,
brutalizer and victim. He had opened her up. Every time she thought it
was ended he began P  again, slowly, knowingly. In spite of herself, her
fear, her rage, her terror, he knew how to do it all, exactly what would
turn her on. And then when he felt her wet and ready he would hit her
again, filling her inside with his hands, holding a tender steady
pressure in her vagina and slapping her body with exquisite torture,
eliciting responses she longed to deny. How did it happen? she accused
herself. How can I explain it? I knew he was a drug dealer, I should
never have drunk 299 that champagne. Her guilt for being where he could
reach her lay heavy over her body, impairing her win, sickening her with
its odour. He was a monster! He had known exactly what = w   k arouse,
exactly what would induce her tinoens,sestpecially in anovice to drugs.
In a way she was more frightened now than she had been during his
attack, because the drug had dulled a certain amount of her fear. Tied
to his bed, she had thought she was in a state of terror, but now, the
reality was worse than the altered consciousness. That any chemical
could change her so, take away her control, transform her more
drastically than any other change she'd ever encountered was terrifying.
Part of her was afraid that it was her own creation, that he had known
what to do because she showed him, overtly or subtly, that she could be
punished, her greatest pleasure, her deepest fear. But he couldn't know
that. He had only assumed that whatever it was he wanted, she would
comply. Most women did, he told her, especially beautiful women, somehow
they never believed they were beautiful. And there was a part of her
that still didn't believe it either. She was furious at herself for
that, and shaken to the depths of her beliefs. I should have told Carlo
about him before, and now it's too late! Elena called her on the
intercom. 'Darling, are you all right? We were so worried. When Gino
brought you back to us nearly unconscious, I was frantic. He said you
fell on the path and hit your face and that it knocked you unconscious.
Is that what happened?' She could hear Elena's cat voice coming through.
Gino would not have had such a clear field without her help. The bitch!
'I had too much to drink, Elena. I have a terrible headache.' 300 d ,You
must see a doctor. IT be all right. Let me rest today.' 'well. If you
don't feel better, you must tell me!' She sounded almost cheerful.
.Ciao.' Anne stared at the ceiling as despair swept her into ;s depths.
She wanted to understand, but nothing was clear. The desire to do
forbidden things had always been there, waiting, lurking-, and it had
finally been unleashed by the drug. Now she was afraid she couldn't
control that desire. She envisioned Gino and Elena and herself in a
m4nage d trois and the fantasy excited her, -but it upset her so to be
excited by it that she cried out. Her imagination was evil! This Urne on
Jeffs exam table it was she and her partner, who changed from Carlo to
Gino to Elena. The scenes unfolded in her mind more graphic and explicit
than she had ever thought possible. The difference between fantasy and
ex- 'penence eluded her. To think was to do, no shades of variation, no
choice of refusal, excitement struggling With i guilt. She'd uncovered
a dark aspect she feared was there and avoided until now. Would she ever
be able to have a normal relationship again, after this9 Was she
addicted? Oh, please, no! she prayed, feeling again that helplessness of
being tied and used, as if her will had been permanently subdued as well
as her body. God, what a horrible thing he had done to her! How would he
feel if anyone had done that to him? She needed help, someone to advise
her, to listen to her, but where to turn? She wanted Alessandro light
now, with her entire being she wanted him. He would have understood,
championed her, explained her to herself. But Alessandro had rejected
her. Where could she turn? To Brenda! But Brenda was in Rome 301
ecstatically happy, according to her latest letter. Now she understood
why Elena had been so terrified of seeing Gino, and why she had courted
him. Anne too recognized his pull, there weren't many people who could
violate with such expertise. If she ever saw Gino again she didn't know
what she would do. At this moment she wanted to kill him! There was
nowhere she could turn for counsel. No one she could ask for advice who
would notiudge her. Carlo loved her! If he were here he might
understand, but that would mean revealing to him how she'd been abused,
and informingon Gino as his mother's supplier. Carlo would not be able
to cont;am himself, and then he would be in trouble. And what if Carlo
didn't believe that Gino had drugged her. She saw the way they were
together - their male understanding. Gino could lie and Carlo would end
up blaming her! What then9 Should she talk to Elena? Elena would hardly
be impartial. Anne couldn't stand the thought of Elena's collusion. Had
he done this to Elena too? Poor Elena! To think she might have let him.
At least she, herself, had been drugged! This was a world Anne had never
seen before. A vile disgusting world, a depravity of the senses; she
might never be the same again. What right did Gino have -to show it to
her? What right? She wanted to destroy the maleness of him that did
this. It was beyond chauvinism, it was bestial. Finally she placed a
call to Rome, but Brenda was not at work. When she reached her at home,
she realized that she couldn't explain about last night over the phone.
The moment she heard Brenda's voice she broke down. The connection was
bad; they could barely hear each other. 'Where are you?Brenda shouted.
'In Portofino.' 9       9 Are you cryinggs Nhat 8 wrong. rm crying,' she
answered, trying to control 7.4 What could she say, I was drugged and
defiled? 'What's happened? What is itT Tin all right. I can't talk about
it on the phone. I'll w Re you a letter.' ri 'Did anything happen with
CarloT Anne calmed down a little. 'No, he's all right. U's almut someone
I met named Gino.' She stopped. 'I'm sorry to call you like this.' 'How
long will you be in Portofino?'Brenda asked. q don't know. A few days,
maybe.' 'We're going to be there in five days.' 'Here? Really?' 'Yes,
Frederico has business there.' 'Oh, Brenda, I need to talk to you, but
five whole days is such a long time.' 'We'll be able to talk when I see
you. Can you wait for Anne was about to reply when the connection was
broken. There was no use calling back. What else could she say under the
ch-cumstances? Brenda was too far away to help her. She was afraid that
in five days it would be too late, this mood of despair would overcome
her by then, or her need for revenge would. Neither possibility thrilled
her. She needed something else to occupy her. But her life had become
meaningless without a purpose to motivate her. She had reached her goals
and they were empty victories. She was beautiful, cushioned in luxury,
with no purpose beyond hedonistic pastimes. Even Carlo had an
occupation, if only to sell yachts. He had a job, something that
interested him. Look at what Elena had become without a purpose in her
life other than frivolity and dissipation. She was frightened at how
this would all end. If only her career 302 303 hadn't failed, ruined
before it began. She started to cry again, tears born ofexhaustion, and
then she laughed as she cried, realizing how hard she had worked, what
she had gone through to get to this place, this bottom of the pit. What
a sad commentary on improvement. Where had it all gone wrong? She
remembered Gino's voice, his murmurings of comfort as she lay in the
aftermath of his passion, how he had used it to arouse, endearing noises
she hungered for were fuel for his flames. Even the memory hypnotized
her, his tone remembered, his promises, That's all, my little bird, my
feather,'but it was never all. Until he was through! Suddenly all her
guilt was gone! Her will burst through, resurrected like a banner
whipping away all the self-pity and self-blame. How dare he! She saw his
grinning face and clenched her fists to keep from attacking his image.
She hadn't felt this much hatred since Jeffrey. And she was a different
person now! The last vestige of the old Anne had been exorcised last
night! Now she was someone who could plan an attack! 'I'm going to get
even with you, you bastard!'she said, to the walls of her room, to the
victims of the world, to the gods! And even the sound of his laughter in
her head didn't deter her. Revenge from a willing victim he mocked. Yes,
she vowed. Damn you, yesl Brenda was worried about Anne. She'd sounded
terrible on the phone. Though it was nearly impossible to hear her,
still the 6speration came through loud and clear. She heard Frederico's
key in the door. He was carrying a huge bouquet of red roses. She wqs
touched. 'No one's ever given me roses before!'She could smell the cigar
smoke of his afternoon 304 eeting, as she clung to him, feeling his body
against They would have an hour, perhaps two, to devour ch other
hungrily before he would have to leave. The brevity of their meetings
only enhanced their quality. "But she was willing to bet that she'd
adore him just as much if he were all hers. 'What did Anne want?'he
asked, sinking into the sofa and beckoning her to come and sit beside
him. 'Just a minute,' she said, going into the kitchen for a vase. She
settled for a litre wine container.How did you know she phoned?' 'She
called the bank first, looking for you. I was surprised because - Id
spoken to Alessandro earlier today. He called from Paris.' Brenda came
back with the flowers and set them on the table. 'Anne sounded terrible.
She was crying and I don't know why. The connection was awful. She's in
Portofino now; she said she might still be there when we arrive.
Wouldn't that be wonderful!'She sat beside him and he put his arm around
her. Tverything with you is wonderful!'he laughed. 'I'm worried about
her, Frederico. She's usually so calm, even in the roughest times.'
'Then she should be quite amenable to our good news from Alessandro.
Would you like to go on ahead, and break it to her yourself?' 'And miss
the chance to travel with you? I see you little enough as it is.
Besides, Alessandro should be the one to tell her.' 'Then we shall have
to wait and see how she is later.' She snuggled closer to him. 'Unless
you can get away sooner. It will give us more time to be together.' He
hugged her. 'I'll see what I can do. You know, things couldn't be
working out any better for Alessandro.' 305 Yes, and for Anne, she
thought, but not for me. For as soon as they made love he would leave
her alone again until the next time. And even a week with him all to
herself in Portofino would not supply enough memories to fill the
emptiness if he ever found it too painful or too difficult to continue
their affair. Perhaps I will be the one to end it, she thought as his
hands sought her breasts. Oh God, she realized, that could never happen!
Anne stayed in her room until noon the following day, and then after a
swim shejoined the group having lunch on the veranda. She was totally
preoccupied with her thoughts about Gino, but the way to revenge eluded
her. Turning him in was too easy and she really couldn't prove he was
dealing. She had to wait to see what would happen. She'd work out a
plan. 'I see you've really met Gino,' Elena remarked. All of Anne's
carefully applied make-up could not cover certain bruises. Elena's voice
sounded shrill and loud, drawing attention to herself instead of to
Anne. 'I tried to tell you he wasn't nice! What will Carlo say?' 'Nobody
could have told me, Elena,' Anne replied. 'You were right.' Elena was
inwardly seething. She knew exactly what Anne meant. She ran her hands
nervously over her arms, feeling her skin dry and hot.'I should have put
on some body lotion,'she said. 'You just did,' Triana commented. 'Have a
glass of wine.'She passed the carafe to Elena, who reached for it with,a
shaking hand, spilling some of it on Paolo, who sat next to her. 'Watch
out!'Paolo shouted. Elena slammed the bottle down on the table, rattling
the china and spilling out some of the wine. 'Don't shout at me,'she
said, tears running quickly down her face. 306 Anne had never seen her
like this in public. Elena ,was always extraordinarily composed. .Are
you all right, Elena?'she asked.  'Of course I am,' she said, pulling
herself together quickly, avoiding Anne's eyes. She's still involved,
Anne thought. She's still involved with that bastard, just as I am. She
loathes him and fears him, just as I do, but she's caught, tied to him
in a bond of depravity. And she'sjealous of me. Insanely jealous. Anne
watched her, feeling superior for the moment, since she felt free of
Gino. Elena got up from the table. 'I'm just going inside to tidy up,'
she said, winking at Anne, an artificial smile stretched across her
face. Elena's calm was an act. The command that she had exhibited for the
past few days was gone, and she was more troubled than ever. Gino's
presence was having a terrible effect on her. He had a terrible effect
on everyone. Anne had never seen Elena in such an explosive state; she
wouldn't be able to hold out against Gino much longer. After a quarter
of an hour, when Elena. did not reappear, Anne left the group with a
casual excuse and went to check-on her. She knocked softly on the door
of her room, but there was no response, and so she opened the door. The
shutters were closed and Elena was lying on the bed, apparently asleep.
Odd, she thought, to fall asleep so quickly after such a state of
agitation. As she approached the.bed she saw a hypodermic needle on the
side table. 'Oh God, Elena, n0she cried. But Elena was beyond hearing.
She turned her head towards Anne. 'Don't be hard on me, darling.' She
slurred her words. 'I can stop any time. It's only for a little while.'
Anne grabbed the needle, breaking its point and 307 tossing it into the
ashtray nearby. 'Why, Elena? You've been clean so long. Why did you do
this to yourself?' 'Why did you?'Elena asked. 'I didn't do it, he did!'
'That's what I mean, darling. He does it all!' Anne stood over her
friend. That bastard Gino! She knelt beside the bed and took the delicate
shoulders in her hands. 'How long have you been shooting, Elena? How
much are you taking?.' 'Don't ruin it for me, Anne,'she begged. 'I love
you, so much.' Anne let go of her and she fell back on the bed. It had
all been useless! All her efforts, all her caring, and still the worst
had happened. Elena was hooked again. Death was too permanent to court
like this, too easily got when you least expected it. Elena should have
been better protected. She should have told Carlo. It was her fault. She
shuddered as she was struck with her own guilt. She wanted to weep for
the wasted hours, but at the same time she knew the one really at fault
was Gino. She'd repay him for an he'd done. And now she knew how she
would do it. She went into Elena's bathroom and opened the medicine
chest. There was a sheff full of pills, worth a fortune on the streets.
She took three one-hundredmilligram Seconals and slipped them into her
pocket. 'Reds,' Elena called them, 'zonkers.' Now she had to make sure
that Gino would join them for dinner. Just the thought of seeing him
again gave her a sick feeling inside. She wrote him a personal
invitation: Please join me for dinner at Batis, and bring your
champagne. He wouldn't be able to resist! Chapter28 Carlo was bored and
irritated. In his opinion the cruise limit by a failure. His patience
wasstretched to the their exhausting protocol. They drank toasts, they
ate meal after meal. Each time he tried to sell the features d the yacht
someone would whisper, 'It is -not appropriate now,' 'The sheikh is not
favourably inclined to '."'discuss it now,' or 'Not before.the Emir's
nap,' or not after his nap, or until he's crapped. They doted on his
elimination. All they talked about in Arabic was how roughage he should
eat. His personal physician travelled with him, checking his diet,
doling out his medicines. The sheikh's son had stayed in port with the
wives. Only his personal aide Hassan and two bodyguards accompanied him.
4, The sheikh was actually impressed with the ship, but was not his
custom to be effusive. But on the afternoon "of the third day out- they
hit rough water and by nightfall the protocol and digestion became
secondary to mal de mer. The entire Arabian contingent went to their
rooms. Hassan appeared at Carlo's door. 'How far from land, are we,
Signore BrissonT 'We are travelling in a wide circle. Land's about
twelve hours to port.' 'I bring you a message from his Excellency. The
sheikh is very ill. I myself am quite sick. The Emir 308 309 wants you
to know that he will buy two Brisson yachts if you can get us to land
before morning.' Hassan was pale. Carlo went to the intercom and ordered
the captain to return to port. Suddenly Hassan's eyes grew wide. Carlo
recognized the look. Poor fellow, he thought. All the colour drained
from the man's face and he vomited all over himself. But before Hassan
could apologize, another wave of nausea had hit him and he bolted across
the hall to his stateroom, barely making it to the bathroom before Carlo
heard him again. Carlo called for a crew member to clean up the mels
and went to assist Hassan'. Hassan was draped over the head, retching
violently. In spite of its excellent stabilizers the Bnsson continued to
rock in the choppy waters. Carlo helped Hassan to remove his outer
clothing and went to find him something to put on. Hassan kept his face
averted in shame. There was nothing in the bureau drawers so he opened
Hassan's suitcase, and took out his robe. The comer of the robe was
caught in the bottom of the case. Curiosity aroused, he pulled on it,
but it held tightly. The case had a false bottom. He pried it open to
remove the robe, and then was struck with horror when he saw what the
bottom of the case contained: glaimine packets of white powder.
Narcotics! And on the Brisson! He held one packet up to the light. It
was dull and powdery, not crystalline like the cocaine he'd occasionally
sniffed. Heroin! Enough to bring death and misery to hundreds of people.
Fury propelled him as he grabbed the case and ran towards the door. But
Hassan heard him and leaped out of the bathroom, catching him as he
reached the staircase, dragging him back. Carlo fell forward holding the
case. He couldn't swing it behind him in the narrow passage. Hassan was
surprisingly strong after his bout 310 .illness. He tried to drag Carlo
back towards the M. Carlo struggled to his feet and jammed his 4bow
backwards, aiming for Hassan's gut, catching him in the chest. Hassan
grunted as the air left his Itmp, but it didn't stop him. He grabbed
Carlo around the neck, catching his fi-ee arm and twisting it behind.
Turning him around, he forced him ahead into his room. '...-Hassan
kicked the door shut with his foot and pushed Carlo across the bed.
Carlo jumped up and rushed at him. 'You fucking bastard, you can't use
my ship for your filthy dealings.' Hassan struck him across the chin,
knocking him back on the bed, then hejumped on him and pinned him Carlo
couldn't get up. Hassan's burly body towered over him, exhaling vomit
breath in his face. it won't do you any good,' Carlo said. 'My crew will
X, ;'-'And me and we'll throw your crap overboard. 12 have YOU arrested.
You and the sheikh, the whole stinking bunch of you.' Hassan placed his
forearm across Carlo's throat, pressing against his windpipe as Carlo
fought to get up. 'You won't do anything because Ill cut your balls ofF
Hassan threatened, pressing harder, closing off all the air. Carlo felt
himself panic as his heart pounded for oxygen and Hassan's knee ground
into his groin. 'I will kill your father and your mother and I will cut
the cunt out of your girl-ftiend.' Hassan let up on his throat. He
didn't want to kill him now, not like this. Too many things could go
wrong when there was spontaneous violence, but Carlo's unexpected
discovery could ruin everything. One thing he knew, he would have to
kill Carlo soon, before anything worse happened. If only he didn't feel
so sick. A wave of dizziness hit him. He fought to keep his hold. Carlo
sensed the change in his muscle tension and 311 rolled quickly to the
right, knocking Hassan off balance. The boat pitched to starboard,
throwing Hassan to the floor between the bed and the dresser. He tried
to get up but Carlo grabbed the Baccarat decanter out of its bedside
holder and struck Hassan on the forehead. Hassan grunted as he fell back
and sank to the floor, unconscious. Gasping for air, breathing in great
gulps, Carlo looked around for something to tie the Arab with, but there
was no rope. He took some wire hangers from the closet and unwound them,
securing Hassan's hands and feet together behind his back. He taped
Hassan's mouth closed with adhesive from the first-aid lat in the
bathroom. His head was pounding. He didn't have much tame. Hassan would
be sure to arouse the ship when he came to. The sheikh's bodyguards were
up front in the crew's quarters. But even seasick they wouldn't be
pleasant to deal with. If he alerted the crew, the Emir's guards would
be there immediately. They must have their share of the dealings, too.
It would be too much of a risk. Carlo knew he had got the best of Hassan
only by luck. His only hope was the sheikh. Carlo wondered if the sheikh
knew about Hassan's drug dealing. He doubted that he did. Why should the
Emir dabble in narcotics when his country was so rich in oil? And if
Hassan was dealing in drugs without the sheikh's knowledge, then the
Emir's sovereignty was being jeopardized. If the sheikh did know, and
allowed the ring to operate, still he would not want anyone else to know
about it. Hassan was a killer. If Carlo spoke to the Emir, forced his
open acknowledgement of the narcotics ring, the Emir would have to
censure Hassan to save himself, he might even renounce Hassan rather
than admit his complicity. But again, it was always possible that the
sheikh did not know anything about it. It was a ei.@ble at best. Carlo
thought about his mother, how shot that crap into herself In that moment
he to kill Hassan. He went to his father's stateroom where the sheikh
was quartered. It was also where the weapons were kept. Ever since there
had been an increase in bijackings and kidnappings his father had kept
guns on -board. Carlo knocked quietly on the door. There was no answer.
The boat pitched and he bumped the doorjamb. The unlocked door swung
open. He stepped into the cabin. The red light on the intercom glowed,
indicating that the sheikh's room was being monitored by the control
room and the servants. The bodyguards would be there if he made a sound.
The sheikh was asleep. An occasional shaft of light broke the darkness
as the ship rocked, placing the porthole up to catch the moonlight,
tossing it down to face dark water again. He made his way to the
compartment hidden in the panelling that housed the guns. The door was
electronically operated. He groped in the dark for the switch,
deactivating the alarm first. He pushed the alarm button and waited for
the electronic door to open. But nothing happened., The damn thing had
always given them trouble! Sweat dripped  Idown his forehead. He wiped
his hands on his trousers. Silently he cursed the electronics experts,
the damp sea air, the inventor of electricity. The sheikh moaned in his
sleep. Carlo held his breath. He pressed the button once more. Suddenly
the contacts met and the door slid open. The niche was small, but big
enough to hold two revolvers. One was loaded, the other wasn't. He slid
the loaded gun into his pocket. He walked to the bed, hesitating for a
moment. The sheikh would not like. to be awakened, nor would he
understand immediately what Carlo wanted from him. 312 313 Morning would
have been a better time to do this, but he couldn't wait until morning.
Hassan might regain consciousness any moment. He turned on the light.
The sheikh was startled and then instantly awake. He glared at Carlo.
'What are you doing here?'he demanded. 'Forgive me, your Excellency,' he
began, when suddenly the door flew open and Hassan stood there holding a
knife. The large welt on his forehead stood out red and ugly. Hassan
raised his arm and threw the knife, just as Carlo ducked and fired at
him. Carlo felt. something slice through the top of his left shoulder.
Hassan sank to the floor with a moan. The Emir had rolled out of bed and
was crouched behind it. He screamed. '4! Are you mad! Litan, Haddi!'The
two bodyguards were already at the door. Carlo stood up, pointing the
revolver at the Emir. 'Don't come any closer or I'll kill him.' The Emir
was shaking with fear. A pool of blood spread out in front of Hassan.
Litan and Haddi stood in the doorway, waiting for the moment when they
could overpower Carlo. Carlo's shoulder was cut; he could feel the blood
dripping down his arm to his hand, but he felt no pain. 'Emir, listen to
me! Hassan is carrying a suitcase full of heroin. If you will send
someone to his room you will find it there. He threatened to kill me if
I told you about it. I came to tell you anyway; that is why I was in
your room. I do not want to hurt you!' The Emir heard the sincerity in
his voice and looked over the top of the bed at him. 'Do you plan to
fire that thing again?' 'Only if your men attack me.' The Emir motioned
them to back off Several crew members hovered in the background. Carlo's
shoulder 314 its first throb. He lowered his arm and sat on the Haddi
bent down to see about Hassan. 'He's still alive.' laitan left the room
while they waited, and in a returned with the suitcase of narcotics. The
11,",',Vmir stood up to his full five feet three inches, his eyes
flashin at the sight. He pulled his nightshirt around,      hiim,
dignified in spite of the overwhelming events. He ke carefully, choosing
his words. 'I warned Hassan to do this. He was like a son to me. I am
glad that my P.,ovrn boy is not here to witness the disgrace of his
father one he trusted.' ',,by Carlo sighed with relief. He had been
right. 'Your ,.,,-Excellency, I will notify the authorities to meet us
,,on our arrival in Portofino. I don't think you'll have any
dffficulties.' 'No, signore, your government and I understand each
other.' The two bodyguards carried Hassan to his room. Carlo's legs were
so weak they could hardly support have never shot anyone before in my
life,'he said. 'If it is Allah's will, you never shall again.' Carlo
turned to go. 'You said you thought I'd have no dffficulties when we
arrive in port.' Carlo turned back and nodded. 'Yes, Excellency.' 'And I
agree with you. But I suspect you may be the one with dffficulties when
we arrive in Portofino.' Carlo looked at the sheikh in surprise. 'Your
Excellency, what makes you say such a thing?.' There is something you
should know. Hassan sells his drugs to your friend, Gino Belmonte.' The
7.40 Alitalia flight from Rome arrived in Genoa at 9.20 p.m. with
Frederico Segri of the Banca Moderna 315 Italia accompanied by his
assistant and dearest love, Ms Brenda Greenstein. The plane circled
south over the Mediterranean and turned north to land on runway 110.
Below, the sea was grey in the twilight. Frederico was like a child at
the circus. He was new to the games of love, but he played them with
enthusiasm. 'Wait until you see Portofino,' he said. 'It sits like an
emerald above a sea of sapphires. It is quaint and seductive, and has a
charm like no other resort.' 'I hope you speak of me in such glowing
terms,' she said. Frederico had never felt so relaxed. The worries that
plagued him about doing business with the Arabs and Eniir of Bhitamin
were over. He had come to terms with his conscience and found his
justifications. The car and driver were waiting for them at the baggage
claim. He loaded their luggage into the Mercedes. 'Mere are wonderful
restaurants in Genoa. Where would you like to go?' 'If you don't mind,
Frederico, I'd like to drive straight on to Portofino. You didn't leave
Rome five days early to take me to Genoa. I'm really awfully worried
about Anne.' I 'Of course, my dear. I wasn't thinking! He reached over
and gave her a fight kiss, then nodded to the driver and they began the
hour-and-a-half drive that would take them both to Anne. Carlo sat
quietly while Dr Mhitafi sutured his shoulder, but every thrust of the
ship's engines met a like pounding of his heart. As if his will were
urging the ship onward. The knife had only cut him superficially. He
welcomed the pain, each throb made the ache inside more bearable, a
reality. 316 The doctor was a gentle man; sewing battle wounds Im
distasteful to him. These foolish young men, he thought, so full of the
fires of life. Hassan lay in the other room with a bullet in his. side
and the doctor didn't have the equipment to help him other than to
relieve his pain. Praise Allah, they would be in port soon. He sighed.
Caring for the Emir was more to his liking than this. He put in the last
suture and bandaged Carlo's shoulder. 'Do you want a sling?' Carlo shook
his head. He needed the use of his hands, both of them. He flexed his
fingers; the smallest motion sent a shooting flame up and down his left
arm. He would ignore it. He would not be aware of any pain when the time
came. 317 Chapter29 She dressed for the occasion carefully, excitedly.
It was only fitting that she wear one of her own designs, a clinging
white dress tied at the waist with rows of silver and gold chains. It
would give her courage. If she only had the nerve to carry it off. They
walked to Batis from the villa, and she kept her arm through Elena's,
renunding herself why she was doing this. It wasn't hard to remember.
Elena seemed surprisingly subdued. They were given a patio table, Paolo,
Philippe, Triana,, Norm and Elena. And Anne remained calmest of them
all, until Gino arrived, looking pleased with himself. He took the chair
next to her and she broke out in a sweat from nervousness. Just the
sight of him was more than she could stand. Her tongue stuck to the roof
of her mouth and her stomach ffirted with nausea. It wasn't Micult to
drop the capsule into Gino's wineglass when he wasn't looking. In fact,
she was shocked at how simple it all was. She had thought at first that
she'd bribe a waiter, but that would be taking an even greater chance.
Gino, was very well known around Portofino. All during dinner she
watched anxiously while Gino ate and drank, trying to concentrate on her
plan and not on him. She hoped she had given him a proper dose 7 319
enough but not too much. She didn't want him to pass out here. She saw
to it that he kept his wineglass fun. Gino was quiet during dinner,
avoiding Elena's glances. She was becoming troublesome, playing the same
games and pulling the same tricks she had before. He was furious with
Hassan for leaving Portofino with the sheikh before making a delivery to
him. Hassan would be back tomorrow, but every delay cost him. money,
lost him confidence. Norm Martinson noticed the interplay between Elena
and Gino and tried to act as if he saw nothing, interesting himself in
the genealogy of the former owners of Philippe's new villa. Carlo and
the sheikh were expected back the next afternoon. Gino ignored Anne. She
was beginning to bore him. Elena turned to Anne, noticing that she was
very cool, very composed. Darling, you're so morose. Do you miss MY
Carlino so much?' Anne shot her daggers. Tortofino is a bore, Elena. I
can't wait to get out of here!'Elena flinched. Gino didn't budge. 'I
never thought I'd hear sour grapes from you, Anne,' Triana smirked,
assuming that Anne's pique resulted from Elena's recent escapades.
Secrets were not easily kept in Elena's set. 'I see you bought a
Franzetti necklace,'she remarked. 'Yes, do you like it?' 'It's divine,
but I hate the choker.' Anne was startled. 'But the choker is an
integral part of the design.' 'Oh, they always tell you that. It would
look better on a chain. Anne glared at Triana. 'I had my choice of
chains.' 'We all do, don't we?' Elena said. 'But I like the choker,
darling, it's so forceful. It suits you.' 320 'Oh Christ, Elena!' They
were stifling her with their innuendos, as if to say, We know where
you've been, you bad girl ... Wouldn't they be amazed if they knew?
Gino's head began to droop. At first he was surprised, and tried to
catch Elena's eye. He suspected he'd been drugged. This was one of
Elena's tricks. As carefully as possible he excused himself from dinner.
He'd be damned if he'd stay and let her laugh at him. Anne sat for a
while after he left, waiting until the right moment to leave, concerned
with appearances. Then, as inconspicuously as she could, she excused
herself and left the restaurant. She turned towards the hills. She took
her time, wanting to be certain that the pills had taken effect. All the
lights were on in the cottage. Gino was sprawled on his bed, more drunk
than drugged. His body was a dead weight to move into position. It took
her quite a while to undress him even though she hurried. Touching him
was repulsive to her, but she forced herself to go, on. Every time he
flinched she was afraid he'd awaken and grab her. How often he must have
done this to other people. How easy it must have been for him. She
located the cuffs wound around the bedposts and untangled them. They
were made with spring clamps that snapped on easily. Carefully she
attached them to his hands and feet. When she closed the fourth cuff
around him and wound up the cords to tighten his limbs she began to
relax a little. She experimented with the crank, learning how many turns
it took to tighten it and loosen it. It was a clever device, with locks
in several positions. She watched her sleeping captive, her grown puppet
who would willingly move his arms and legs for her. She anticipated when
his part would grow. She sat down in a chair to watch him, waiting for
the drug to wear off. What if I can't do it? she thought, but when she
321 faltered, visions of Elena kept her going. Besides, it was heady to
be on top. Moonlight shone in squares through the paned windows. He
seemed as an offering to her, quite the opposite of the way it had been
when she was fettered for him to use. His sleep seemed to be more normal
and he tried to turn on his side. She loosened the ties so that he could
move, still keeping a watchfid eye. Her excitement mounted and after an
hour more she decided it was time to begin; she couldn't wait any
longer. She tightened the shackles and turned on the lamp. 'Gino!'She
shook him.Wake upF He opened his eyes blearily, smarting from the light
He looked around, trying to acclimate himself, then with growing
comprehension he saw himself in the mirrors spread-eagled on the bed, a
lion in dormant repose, breathing growls before the attack. Slowly she
touched him, curious to see what he would do, her heart pounding in
anticipation. He tested each cuff He knew this apparatus and how much it
would give when the locks were in place. She had left him no room. He
began to twist and pull at the cuffs, and then he roared. A small
globule of spit hit her on her breast. She removed it and wiped it on
him, any apprehension she might have felt totally gone. She knew what
was coming next. She had been there. 'If you uninate,you'll he in
it,'she said. He roared at her again. 'I'll kill you.' 'Such a poor
sport,'she said sweetly. 'You ugly bitch,' he growled. 'You disgusting
cunt.' She hit him with a belt and as his fury grew she hit him again.
She loved it, she absolutely loved it. 322 'I'll get you!' he yelled,
pulling and twisting away 16m her. 'I'll cut you to pieces. III pop
those lead balloons of yours and dissect them under your nose.' She let
him rave, touching Ins penis with her lips, twisting his nipple between
her fingers. When the belt wasn't enough she slapped him, over an dover,
though it probably hurt her hands as much as it hurt him. 'You can't do
it. You're too weak. You're good for nothing but a skewer up your ass.'
She closed her teeth around his penis, pressing hard into his flesh.
'No, Anne, no!' 'Take it back, you bastard,' she said, Iffting her head
for a moment and then putting it down between his legs again. He
couldn't frighten her, and she thrilled with the knowledge. He was
trying to hold back, fighting his excitement. She danced for him,'
determined to excite him, standing above him on the bed, touching
herself from her knees to her breasts, undulating over his head,
squatting just out of his reach. He couldn't help himself and she
gloated as she saw him growing erect. Then she hit him hard across the
face and slipped down to lap his penis with her mouth, to keep it
engorged. She enclosed it with her lips and with each pull of her mouth
she slapped him hard, wherever she could, on his belly, butt, chest and
face. He came fully erect and she sensed a change in him. He wanted her!
Moving quickly on top of him, she rocked back and forth, careful not to
arouse him enough for climax, as he had done her. She reached hers
quickly, a great cry filling her throat. He watched her in fascination.
A monster of his own making, matching him move for move. She slipped off
him and squatted there, panting. She 323 felt her triumph as complete.
Still, she wanted to smash his face. Damn, it was over too soon. 'I
adore you!'he said. 'And I hate you!' she answered, wanting to weep. it
wasn't him she hated at this moment, it was herself. She needed touching
right now, needed someone to forgive her for this crazy role she was
playing. Still she wanted him to beg. His face became sly, mistaking her
look. 'You want it again, don't you? Undo me, cara, mi amore.' 'You
bastard! You're going to he there until you rot,' she said, so filled
with her emotions of hate that she didn't hear the creaking of the door
behind her or notice the narrowing of his eyes as he glanced into the
mirror above. Suddenly she felt a hand, poking, probing, touching.
Another hand reached between her legs and gently played with her
clitoris. Her heart leaped to her throat. Had he got free? She gasped as
she turned and saw Elena.'My God!'she said, trying to pull away. 'Don't
stop, my precious,' Elena said. Tve been here all this time. Ut me help
you, please, Anne. Ut me,' she begged, and moved her hand softly inside.
'Do it, Anne,' Gino whispered. 'Let me watch you. Please let me watch.'
His voice was hoarse with excitement. No, she thought, I can't do this,
not this, and unsuccessfully tried to free herself from Elena while Gino
continued to entreat her. 'Let me go!'she cried, but there was no way
out. Elena held fast, her grip tightening as Anne struggled to move. Her
mind was screaming in protest. 'Let go!'she cried. 'Elena, you're
hurting me!' But it was too late. Elena had unhooked Gino's left hand
and he grabbed Anne's wrist, pulling her down on top of him. She lost
her balance as he forced her mouth 324 She kicked at Elena; her leg hit
the bed instead. pain shot through her calf. She moaned into him. a was
on the other side of the bed now, releasing right hand. Anne felt it
close around her, holding her terrifying embrace. e was lost now, and
she knew it! They would show no mercy. 325 Chapter30 launch from the
Brisson roared up to the landing Carlojumped out. The police boat with
Hassan and sheikh aboard followed close behind. The police had tioned
everyone from the Bnsson and requested they come in for formal
statements in the morning. had confiscated Carlo's gun, but before he
left the he'd had time to get the other gun out of its t and load it. He
didn't know what he was going to do about Gino, his fury was at a high
pitch. He had kept himself r control until the moment his foot hit the
dock and en the molten rage overflowed. He ran across the square despite
the excruciating pain in his er. It was 2.15 a.m. The night clerk hadn't
seen Gino since early evening. He must be at the cottage, arlo thought,
dashing out blindly, nearly colliding with two people who were coming
in. He pushed past Ahem. 'Carlo!' He turned, not wanting to stop. 'It's
me, Brenda.' 'I am in a hurry.'He had no time for her now. 'Wait.' She
grabbed his arm. 'We arrived earlier tonight and I thought you weren't
here. The Brisson was gone. Where is AnneT 327 'I don't know where she
is. I've been out on the Brisson with clients. We just got back.'
'Wasn't she with youT 'No, she's at the villa, Philippe de Marcos's.'
'Is she with GinoT 'Gino? Gino? How do you know GinoThe demanded. 'I
don't know him. Anne mentioned him to me.' 'What did she sayT Brenda
realized she had said too much. She tried to back down, but she was
caught. 'I must find him,' Carlo said, and then ran out of the lobby.
The look on his face was terrifying. Trederico! Something's wrong. We've
got to follow him.' She ran after Carlo with Frederico close behind her.
They headed up into the hills. As awn as Elena freed Gino's legs from
the restraints he wound them around Anne and forced her legs apart. Then
Elena climbed on the bed behind them and Anne felt the shock of a
woman's touch on her legs and on her buttocks. There was no escape.
Gino's arms and legs held her and his mouth was clamped to hers. She was
suffocating from fear and revulsion. Elena began to massage her from
behind. She tore her mouth away from Gino's and screamed, 'Stop, Elena!
No.' 'Shh,' Elena soothed. Us all right. Everything's all right.' Her
words vibrated up Anne's spine. Anne thrust her hips back, trying to
shake loose from that nauseating touch. Gino put his left hand around
both her wrists, twisting them behind her. With his right hand he
reached into a drawer in the bedside table. 'Please, no,'she begged..
She heard a click. The comer 328 of her eye caught a flash of metal. It
was a switchblade. He was really crazy! They were both crazy. He would
kill her if she fought them. Gino stuck the point of the knife behind
her ear, piercing the flesh. She was a quarter of an inch from death,
steel in her brain. She didn't move. 'If you fight me, III slit open
your breasts, one by one. Do you understandT His voice was gravelly; she
could hear the edge of mania in his tone. Tes,'she whispered. Gino gave
Elena a nod and she stopped her explorations. Anne's relief was
exquisite. 'Get up,' Gino said. She scrambled off him, avoiding Elena's
gaze. He sat up and grabbed her face, twisting her chin so that she
faced Elena. 'Look at her,' he commanded, picking up the knife. He took
her hand and placed it on Elena, guiding it over her body. Anne was sick
with loathing and fear and she trembled as she felt the forbidden flesh
beneath her hands. Elena leaned forward to kiss her. She stiffened but
she endured it. Oh God, she prayed, help me! Touch her,' Gino said,
pushing her back on the bed and placing Elena on top of her so that they
both faced him. He still had the knife. Anne stroked Elena's body as if
she were stroking her own. Elena's back pressed into her, her head was
thrown back over Anne's shoulder, waiting for Gino. Gino was fucking
Elena on top of her, crushing her with every thrust. They were both so
involved with each other Anne seemed to be forgotten. She desperately
wanted to get out of there. She wiggled and turned and pushed until,
occupied with each other, they rolled off her, and she inched over
slowly, trying to get to the door. Gino noticed her movement and grabbed
her by the 329 hair, his fingers entwined in the roots. He yanked her
backwards on to the bed, forcing her to stay there pulling on her scalp.
She screamed with pain, crying out,'Please - no!'She couldn't reach him.
He was behind her and so was the knife. Nobody heard the noise outside,
or the sound of people running, or the door until it crashed open and
Carlo burst into the room. Anne cried out, 'Help! Carlo, help! He's got
a knife!' Then she saw the gun. Gino froze, with Elena still under him,
Anne's head held to the bed by his hand. He saw the gun, too. Brenda and
Frederico were in the doorway behind Carlo as he took `;07/' in the picture,
every fine scorched in acid, every sickening aspect repeated in the
mirrored canopy. Anne screamed, 'No! No! Carlo.. .'just as he raised his
arm towards Gino and fired. Frederico pulled at Carlo from behind and
the shot missed, hitting the wall. Gino rolled over and ducked behind
the bed. Frederic o was'pulling at Carlo'      in            him. , try
g to stop Carlo reached back and hit Frederico across the cheek with his
right hand, pushing him out of the way. The butt of the gun struck bone
and Frederico cried out in pain. Brenda caught Frederico as he fell,
cradling him in her arms. Anne curled up on the bed away from Elena, who
lay where Gino had left her. Carlo fired at Gino again, hitting the
mattress. The bullet went through and struck the floor. Anne reached
over and pulled Elena off the bed, out of range. They huddled together,
two naked figures. 'Carlo, don't do this,' Gino pleaded. 'Carlo, you
don't understand. They came to me, they wanted me, I tried to stop them,
I . . .'Carlo fired in rapid succession through the edge of the
mattress, still missing Gino. He was 330 --.riinning out of ammunition.
He dropped to the floor and e face to face with Gino who was on his side
under the bed. Carlo took aim and fired. This time the bullet struck
Gino in the groin. Gino screamed. Carlo aimed at Gino's head and pulled
the trigger. There was a silent click. All the chambers were empty, but
Gino had fainted. Carlo dropped his gun and went to cover Elena. Anne
reached for her dress, but Carlo knocked it out of her hands. 'No! You
stay as we found you. Let the world see you for the whore you are!' Anne
ffinched as if he'd struck her. Brenda was horrified by what she'd
witnessed. Frederico'sjaw was red and swollen. He was too stunned to
move. She heard the gun drop to the floor and ran to help Gino. His
groin was torn and bloody; the smell of urine mixed with burned flesh
made her sick. She pulled him out on to the floor and covered him with a
blanket. 'Somebody get the police! Call an ambulance. Do something!
He'll die!' His face was grey and he was unconscious. She knew she
should stop the bleeding, but she didn't know how. She was afraid to
approach Anne because Carlo stood over her clenching and unclenching his
fists, breathing in frenzied gasps. He was crazy and she could see he
might attack any one of them. She called to him softly, 'Carlo.' He
didn't respond. She walked over to him and touched his arm. He winced
and pulled away. She faced him calmly but her knees were jelly. 'We've
got to get help. How do we notify the authorities?' Carlo couldn't
answer her. He was crying; tears ran down his face, but he made no
attempt to wipe them. 331 'Thits cottage has no phone,' Anne said
quietly, afraid to move from where she was standing. '1711 go for the
police.' Carefidly she picked up her dress, never moving more than a
fraction at a time so as not to disturb Carlo. , Frederico recovered
from his momentary shock and came over to Anne. When he saw she was all
right he went over to Carlo, who appeared absolutely blank. He took him
over to the chair where he had just been sitting. 'Brenda,' Frederico
said,     'go with Anne to the Splendido. There's a phone there.' 'You
mustn't be found here!' Brenda said. 'You must go with Anne!' He shook
his head firmly.'Don't waste any more time. I'll be all right.' He had
already considered the consequences of his being found here - his life
with his family, his business reputation could be irreparably damaged.
But no matter. He had lived a circumspect life for years and any adverse
results arising out of his affair with Brenda would have to be dealt
with. His conscience was clean and that was really all that counted.
Carlo was in shock. He thought of Gino and the filth he had spread on
everyone. He felt the slime that covered Gino coming at him from across
the room. Carlo lifted his feet to keep himself from being covered by
the shme, but someone's fingers were around his throat, squeezing hard,
preventing him from breathing. He knew it was Hassan, pretending to be
Gino, covered with the Slime. He cried and pulled at those iron fingers
to let him breathe. A man with a knife was stalking him, throwing knives
at him, and they tore into his flesh. He dodged and twisted to get away
from the knives, but they pierced him over an dover again. Gino's eyes
burned at 332 turn from where he lay, crouched behind the bed re    ady
to leap at him and tear him apart. Gino. Hassan. The Devil. They were
coming to take him to Hell! He screamed again, tearing at his throat,
dodging the knives, kicking his feet, terrified of the advancing
captors. Finally he lapsed into whimpering and crying, lost in his
torment. Frederico watched, unable to relieve the torture. Elena huddled
in a cocoon of shame until her body stopped shaking. Carlo's cries and
suffering were her own. With each of his agonized sounds she felt her
own inexpressible horror. Only one thing would stop that sound of
suffering, that anguish she knew so well. She had thought of nothing
else since the moment Carlo arrived. The way he had looked at her! She
took her clothes and went into the bathroom. She dressed carefully and
washed her face, but avoided looking in the mirror. There would have
been nothing there if she had looked. Then she walked into the adjoining
dressing room and to the closet where Gino kept his tennis racket. She
knew, he often made his exchanges on the tennis court. She brought the
racket back, with her to the bathroom, cradling it in her arms. She sat
down on the toilet and twisted open the end of the racket, shaking out a
packet ofwhite powder. In her purse was a kit. In only moments the
welcomed numbness was coursing through her body and the sounds of
Carlo's crying grew more faint as did he beating of her heart. Anne and
Brenda hurried along the darkened path, slipping over loose stones and
pushing aside branches. 'For God's sake,' Brenda said, 'what happened
back there, AnAeT 11 can't explain it now,'she replied, knowing that
soon she would have to say it to someone. 333 'We'd better get our
stories straight,' Brenda said. 'There are reputations at stake here.
hnportant ones.' Anne remained silent. 'Anne, what happenedT 'What did
it look like to youT 'Like you were being sexually molested at
knifepoint by a maniac! And that Carlo was coming-after Gino with a
gun-I 'Gino's a monster!'Anne whispered, as they arrived at the hotel.
There was a police car parked in front Three officers had stayed to
question the personnel after returning there with the sheikh and his
party. When Anne explained about the shooting they radioed for an
ambulance and hurried with her and Brenda back to the cottage. There was
no more opportunity for talk. Gino was still unconscious when they got
back, though he looked worse than when they d left. But it was the sight
of Carlo that twisted the knife in Anne's heart. He was writhing,
tormented in his own hell. It was pitiftil. Brenda went over to
Frederico to'see about his face. Then she noticed Elena was gone.
'Where's ElenaTshe asked. 'She went into the bathroom to get dressed.' A
shock of recognition went through Anne as she stared at Brenda, shock
mixed with a feeling of dread. They both knew the moment they saw her
that Elena was dead. She was slumped against the sink, the hypodermic
still in her vein, and she was beyond any help. The expression frozen on
her face was one of utter despair. 'I can save her,' Anne cried, trying
to get into the bathroom. But Brenda forced her back inta the other
room. Anne felt the realization slam into her; there was 334 nothing she
could do. All her emotions fivm this horrible night came pouring forth.
She sobbed fi-om the depths of her grief. It can't be. It can't be. If
only rd been here. If only I hadn't left her she'd be alive. Why
couldn't things have been different? There was no comfort, only this
shattering explosion of guilt and blame. I was my brother's keeper. If I
could not prevent her death, who will prevent mine? They led Anne,
crying hysterically, out of the cottageIt was nearly dawn before Brenda
and Frederico could return to their hotel. The horrible sights still
whirled around in Brenda's head. She had waited at the villa until a
doctor gave Anne a shot to put her to sleep, and then she told Paolo she
would be back in the morning. The poor man, she thought. His whole life
had been uprooted tonight. She and Frederico didn't talk as they
undressed for bed, politely passing each other in the confines of the
strange room. Both of them had been so strong tonight, but she felt the
need for understanding right now. 'How is your headT she asked, sitting
on the edge of the bed. 'I took something for it and it feels better
now,' he answered. 'What do you think really happened there tonightT she
said. 'We'll probably never know.' 'I don't think I want to know.' He
nodded. 'Just as I don't really want to know what is going to happen to
us.' He turned from the closet, buttoning his pyjamas. 'I think it's too
late to discuss that right now, don't youT 'If I thought so, I wouldn't
have brought it up. Tonight's tragedies have made me very frightened for
335 MY own happiness. I want to protect it, and keep it from
disintegrating like the lives of those people have disintegrated
tonight. My God, how Anne must feel! He smiled at her. 'You're always
thinking about others, aren't you?' 'Not always. Right now I'm thinking
about me, and us. He came and sat next to her on the bed. 'All right,
we'll talk about it now. But just remember, I'm not as young as you . I
need my sleep!' 'I'll remember,'she said, putting her arm around him. He
stood up, facing her. If I'm going to be serious, you can't have your
arm around me. It clouds my thinking.' She nodded, waiting for him to
speak, feeling her heart travelling slowly up to her throat, forcing all
the blood in her head to stay where it was and beat thickened pulses in
her brain. Tonight has brought home to me some truths that I have been
avoiding before this. I assume that's why you feel such an urge to talk
right now.' He didn't wait for her answer. I would have liked to give
myself more time. I'm not ready for the decision that I must make . .
Here it comes, she thought. So long, Brenda, I love you but Elizabetta
comes first. '. . . and I haven't wanted to mention it to you until I w
as certain. But tonight has forced the issue. Many things ran through my
mind when I saw Anne on that bed with Gino and Elena. I thought, She is
Brenda's friend! Will I ever walk in on Brenda and find her like this? I
know that isn't fair. But I am a man, living in a society where men
think that way.' ,It's rather like blaming a woman for losing her breast
to breast cancer,' she commented, feeling tears beginning to sting her
eyes. 336 'You are right. And before I met you I would have accepted
myown judgements as valid, and condemned all the people in that room as
depraved, and anyone who knew them also. But I know you, and I know how
wonderful you are. And how you make me. feel! And I'm ashamed to tell
you that for a moment I wanted to walk away from that room and deny that
I ever knew you.' 'You don't have to tell me these things, Fredenco.
They are your private thoughts. We are not in temple now.9 'Every place
that I am with you is a temple to me. I know that I am too old for you,
yet you seem to want me. I believe you deserve a younger man, who can
give you a family, who will. be with you long after Im gone.' So this is
it. He's letting me off easy, but he's letting me off. 'If you would
have me, I would like us to live together. In Italy one must live for
five years under legal separation and then I could be divorced from
Elizabetta and we could be married.' She saw his hands shake before he
put them behind his back. She rose slowly from the bed and went, to put
her arms around him. 'Is that what you want?he asked. But she couldn't
talk for the heart still in her throat. She only nodded and hugged him
with all her might. Soft voices came to Anne from out of a haze.
Everything was throbbing. She was in her room at the villa. Sunlight
scored by the slats of the shutters burned her eyes. She lay there for a
moment, getting her bearings, trying not to be frightened by the thought
of Elena as she'd last seen her. She did not know how she'd got back or
who had put'her to bed. She turned towards the whispering. She could see
Brenda standing in the 337 doorway talking to Frederico, but she could
not hear them, could not know what they- were saying to each other. 'But
will she divorce you?'Brenda asked. 'There is nothing that will stand in
my way, darling. After last night I will not live apart from you. You
deserve more than that. We will face the world together, you and I.
Don't worry!' 'And your sonsT 'They are grown men, Brenda. Angelo will
be married soon himself. They cannot deny me my happiness.' She shook
her head and the blonde curls bounced with the motion, then she leaned
forward and kissed him, pushing him gently out of the doorway, and
closed the door behind him. 'How are youTshe said to Anne, coming
towards the bed. 'How long have I been asleepT 'It's nearly noon. That
sedative they gave you was strong.2 The throbbing was subsiding to a
dull ache. Then the events of last night hit her full force. 'Oh, Carlo!
Poor Carlo - and Elena. Tell me it isn't true.' Brenda took her hand.The
funeral will most likely be tomorrow. Paolo Brisson is arranging
everything. There's a mass for Elena today in a local church.' 'How is
CarloT 'They've taken him to a psychiatric hospital in Genoa.' 'Will he
be all rightT 'I don't know,' Brenda said. But her expression said no.
'All of us will have to go to the Questura and make our statements.'
'What will happen then?'Anne said. 'There won't be any criminal action.
Frederico's 338 already spoken to the commendatore. We've both agreed to
be witnesses that Gino was attacking you and Elena, and Carlo shot him
in your defence. Gino's criminal record is enough to convict him.' Anne
felt a terrible sense of mourning, as if an entire class of people had
self-immolated before her eyes. 'Where will the funeral beT She sat up
and got out of bed. Life would go on in spite of the devastation around
her and the nothingness inside. 'We're not certain yet. The Brisson
family has a mausoleum in Rome, but Elena's family have their own small
cemetery in their home town.' 'Vaidagno?' 'Yes, that's it.' So she would
get to see VaIdagno after all. 'Has anyone notified Alessandro and his
motherT 'Alessandro is here, Anne. He arrived earlier this morning. He'
's waiting for you downstairs.' . Alessandro here. A spark of life
pulsed inside her for a brief moment, but then it died out again. What
good would it do to see him? His feelings for her were plain enough the
last time she saw him, and this latest disaster would only increase
them. 'I don't want to see him, Brenda, please! Give him my condolences.
And tell him I'll come to the funeral no matter where it is.' 'He's come
a long way to see you, Anne. You must speak to him.' 'I don't
understand. I thought you were the one who hated him on my behalf.
Remember how he "took" me. What does he want, more money?' And to Anne's
surprise, Brenda smiled. 'Not exactly! Why don't you get dressed and
then pack? It's going to be a busy day and we'd better be ready to
leave. I'll give Alessandro your message,' she said, and left Anne
alone. 339 Anne went into the bathroom and undressed. When she was in
the shower she realized that she was washing away the last traces of
Elena. Was she my friend? How could she have willingly destroyed me if
she'd been my friend? But she knew Elena had been too troubled to be
anyone's friend. And what did I do for her? Anne thought. I held out the
illusion of friendship to her and then didn't follow through. And Carlo,
beautiful Carlo, made to suffer because of all of them. How could she
ever make it up to him? What kind of destruction had she wrought?
Searching for change had soiled her, trying to grow had sullied her;
what then was left? She was dressed and half through with her packing
when there was a knock on the door. 'Come in,'she said. The door opened
and Alessandro stood there. She saw his tentative smile, and his kind
eyes. and she could hardly breathe. 'Hello, my darting,'he said. She was
shocked by his tone. She never would have expected endearment in his
voice. He took a step towards her and her heart lurched. 'Hello,
Alex.Her voice trembled. 'Are you all right?'He took another step. 'No,'
she said, beginning to cry. All this time, all that wild searching and
trying and playing at sex, and he was what she'd wanted. And the one
she'd truly lost. She wiped her face. Carlo was his substitute, Jeff was
his predecessor, Gino was a horrible mistake. Why couldn't she have seen
it before? Before it was too late. 'I'm so sorry about Elena,'she said.
'And I'm sorry, Anne.'She looked back again, and this time there was no
mistaking his expression. 'I have a terrible pride. If I have lost you,
I am only to blame.' 340 This is not a day to talk about blame,'Ahe said
softly to understand his words. Tve brought you something,' he said,
handing her a manila Me. It contained duplicate orders, with recent
dates, made out to 'Anne Scott for Alessandro'. Orders from
Bloomingdales, fi-om Harrods, from Bonwit Teller, from Galerie
Lafayette, and letters from Vogue, from. Elle, from Bazaar from Mode
International, requesting samples for photographs. 'What is thisT she
asked. me elaborate joke? But it was too authentic to be a joke, dates
and signatures and style numbers and photocopies of deposits. 'It's my
apology to you. And my way of showing my gratitude.' 'But howT She
didn't deserve gratitude, if anything she deserved punishment. 'When did
this happenT 'When Fredenco Segn became our financial partner. are
advance orders. I expect them to triple after Octobeprft--porter. And,
my darling, wait until hear them sing your praises!'
I I don't understand, Alessandro, what are you saying9 t we are in
business again, with Fredenco? And that business is asuccessT It was
almost too much after night. Somewhere she knew it was wonderful news,
she didn't feel the wonder. 'And why am I suddenly your "darhng"9
Because you ant my designs, because you want my money!'She saw s
crestfallen look but she had to say it. 'After all this e, and not a
word from you. How can I be your rling if you -wouldn't even let me see
you in the ospitalT Some of that pain came back again, mixing th the
ache already there. How much more could she 9 His voice made her turn.
'I wouldn't let you? I wanted you to come!' he 341 said. 'Yours was the
only name I put on the list of visitors.' 'But your mother told me I was
specifically denied visiting privileges. She showed me the notice. I
came every day. She wouldn't let me in.' 'But I knew nothing about it!
Dear Lord, Anne, listen to me. I must make you understand. My mother
must have wanted to hurt you very much, and she has hurtt me too. I
cannot forgive her for what she's done, I can still barely believe it!
But I wanted you to be with me in the hospital, more than anything else.
I thought that you were angry and disgusted with me for everything that
had happened. The day you came to see me I knew I was right because you
were going away.' 'Only because you didn!t want me,'she whispered. 'I've
always wanted you,' he said. 'Since our first lunch together a year ago.
I love you, Anne.' She heard his words but her heart was so heavy with
pain that at this moment love meant very little to her. 'Somewhere
inside of me, I know I love you, too, Alessandro. But it's taken me a
long time to keep from feeling that love. I've been denying it ever
since you sent me away. I don't even know if I can ever love.' 'Does it
have something to do with last nightT She nodded. 'If I could, only shut
off my brain. Stop these incessant voices that accuse, and judge and
condemn me.' 'You have always been harder on yourself than anyone
deserves. Why don't you listen to me for a change?'He took her hand and
sat her down on the bed, putting his arm around her, but she sat stiff
and unyielding. 'You must remember that you are human, entitled to make
mistakes, if you learn and grow from them. Gino Belmonte was a drug
dealer. You did not turn him into e. arlo would have shot Gino, no
matter what ation he found Gino in. He took a gun from the ship r that
purpose. Elena has always been addicted and she was also a lesbian. That
is why Paolo divorced her. But you brought her something that no one had
ever brought to her before, true friendship. Carlo was tied to her,
Elena caused him terrible pain, and her other friends used her as she
used them. You were unique in her life, and she'treasured you. She had
to love you because there was no other way she could repay you. As for
me, I have been guilty of letting my pride rule my heart. I should have
told you long ago how I felt, even if you didn't share my feelings. I
wouldn't risk being hurt, so I hurt you instead. You'll have to be
patient with me. I've spent many years living another way.' His words
began to make sense to her and she relaxed 'in his embrace, resting her
head against his shoulder. She could feel the tight bands of resistance
begin to give way as his words dug their way through the debris that had
been accumulating since her discovery of Jeffrey and Jill. She waited in
the comfort of his arms until the deadened heart inside started to beat
again, until the shame and guilt subsided enough to feel the stirrings
of joy again, until the breath inside her body filled her with life.
'Will you give me some timeTshe asked. 'All the time you want!'he
said.'At least until the day after tomorrow.' 342 343