Fire In The Ice
Katlyn Stewart

 
        CHAPTER ONE

     
   Deedra thought her life to be perfect. Married for years to a respected Community man, and owner of an upscale restaurant named the Fireside Inn. He had taken care of her every need and detail of her life, giving her two beautiful daughters that helped to round out her life and a lovely home in the posh bay front area of Sarasota Florida. What more could one woman ever ask for?

   Suddenly, without so much as a moments notice, her world came crashing to the ground. Craig Marlan, the man that had protected her against all pain was killed in a car accident that would change her belief in “Happy ever after” forever.

        Deedra wasn't satisfied with just being the owner of the Fireside, she needed to feel useful and fill the void left in her life.
    After her marriage to Craig, he had wanted her to quit working, to await the birth of their children and take care of the “wifely” duties of a home. She had done just as he had wished.

   But, after his death, she decided to go back and take over as the manager and fill in as a hostess there part of the time.
   It made her feel useful again, and in a way she felt like one of the girls , almost like it did when she was young. She could also interact with people and keep her loneliness at bay.
 
     Marcy, Her dear friend since childhood, also worked there. Starting at the Fireside just days before her all those years ago.

   Marcy, on many occasions tried her best to set Deedra up on "dates", but it had been to no avail. She hated watching from the sideline as Deedra put her whole life into her work and children. Everyone could see that Deedra was slowly slipping away into a quiet and cold world of her own, and was so afraid that her dear friend would never allow anyone to love her again.

     She wanted to see her have some enjoyment, excitement, or even just a few laughs out of her life. Go out, do something besides work and go home.. Maybe to have a drink now and again, get a little tipsy, laugh.
   Still a young woman with so much life left to live, Marcy hated to see how closed off Deedra had become.. Her friend hoped that one day someone would be able to break through the ice that had formed around Deedra's heart...

   There were several men in the last two years that had tried their best tactic’s to be Deedra's suitor. Her captivating eyes would mesmerize the male patrons, watching her as she walked, following the flow of her body.
   Her still youthful figure, though hidden under clothing, was a joy for the men to watch, admire. But to their disappointment she had turned each of them down.

 She was affectionately, behind her back, being called the Ice Princess by the men that came and went through the restaurant....
                               

   During the loll between lunch and dinner, She placed a call to Mrs. Baker, the children’s sitter to check up on the girls, all was well as she had expected.
  Mrs. Baker had been the children’s nanny for the last five years, and true God sent after Craig’s death. The children thought of her as their substitute grandmother. She came in every Monday thru Friday and took care of any necessary chores and watched after the children until Deedra came home, freeing Deedra up to handle the business and financial side of her life.

     Checking in at the kitchen, she stopped to sample the ribs her restaurant was so famous for, basically just muddling around the Inn trying to find something to clean or take care off to pass the time away . She wasn’t at all concerned about the loll in traffic over the last few weeks. Tourist season was at a halt, the spring was in full swing…and so it was just the regulars that stopped by during these times, and most of the traffic for that was on the week-ends..
   She stopped to share a joke with Mark the head cook, and was still smiling to herself when she heard the chimes on the front door ring, alerting that a customer had come in. "back to work, finally" she thought to herself, and hurried toward the front door to greet her awaiting customer.

    At first she didn’t pay much attention to the man standing at the front waiting for someone to seat him.
  When she did look up and over at him, the moment her eyes met with this stranger’s, a shiver came over her entire spine and her face felt instantly hot.

    This was not an ordinary man. Without even realizing what she was doing, she was studying him, from head to toe. ..
"hadn't she seen him somewhere before"? “Ever met him“? "No , No“… she could not place him, nor his face.

      The man was extremely tall, she guessed him to be somewhere around 6’5’’ or so, dwarfing her from where he stood. The most defined, chiseled muscle definitions to his arms that just seemed to ooze out from his tight black t-shirt and well worn blue jeans. His extremely tanned skin and well weathered face only added to his appeal. A rugged man, through and through. And the hair, the gorgeous mane of long black silky hair only added to the beauty of this man.

   Deedra’s mind continued to wandered for a few moments at how strikingly handsome he was. Absolutely surprised by the fact that her heart was beating wildly like that of some young school girl that had just met a rock star.

    Finally, regaining her composure, and hoping he had not noticed her stare, she walked toward the tower of a man.

"Sir" can I get you a table," She asked him almost in a whisper, her mouth dry as though it had cotton in it., wondering to herself as she spoke..
“what on earth is up with that”?

  His reply caught her off guard even more than she already was…
 "Oh yea you sure can“. “and ya can make it a table for two", he answered with a deep husky voice and a deep southern drawl. A half interested flirty smile across his face.
  “Will someone else be joining you,” she asked innocently. Not realizing that he meant a table for two, included her..
 ”No lil lady, just you,” he replied still smiling with that devilish grin.

   He made her extremely nervous, being put on the spot this way, she decided that she just wouldn’t answer his question rather than to try to search for words that seem to be eluding her at this awkward moment..

  "Right this way, Sir" she turned to walk in front of him and down the middle of the aisle between the cluster of tables at either side of her. Laying the menu down on the booth‘s tabletop she started to tell him about his waitress, when he interrupted...
    "Well honey ya never answered my question, ya gonna sit with me, or not?"…
 
  Deedra stopped for a moment, her face even redder than it was a few moments ago, was now looking down at the dark black cowboy boots on his feet, trying desperately to disregard this next question. Wishing she could think up a good come-back like she usually did with a flirting customer, and yet finding no words to speak.
   Still unable to understand why she just couldn’t speak her mind with this man. Though she was shy, this was after all her habitat, she was never afraid of going toe to toe with a man in this domain. This place protected her. And yet, something about this man made her anxious and unable to say anything without sounding absolutely ridiculous.
  Turning her face back up to meet his, using her best false smile, like she would do toward any customer, she tried to speak without showing how nervous she really was..
 "Sir, can I bring you something to drink”? asking another question without answering him, and at the same time watching his large frame try to sit down at the table, Realizing he made the standard made table look rather small before him.
 she waited for an answer.

"Yea" he looked up to her an answered in a bothered voice for not getting the answers he was looking for….
  “I’ll try this again”, he thought.
"bring me the biggest jug of tea you got, sweet, sweet tea,” "and sweeten it with your fingers too darlin". Snickering to himself.
   All she could think of at this moment was to run. Get away. He made her so edgy in her own skin.
  Deedra swallowed the large lump in her throat, smiled again like the hostess she was.
   So completely caught off guard and having no idea what to say or do in this situation. No idea as to why she couldn’t just take control of this situation and stop him cold from the flirtation he was bestowing upon her.
 
 "Your waitress's name will be Marie and she will be with you shortly"..she stammered, speaking quickly with her words almost running the sentence together, realizing that not only was he watching her every move, but every word that formed from her lips.
   Hoping that her cold attitude would keep him from asking anymore questions, she turned to walk away quickly.
Unfortunately, she heard his voice loud and clear...
"Hey.. What’s your name lil lady"?

   For a moment she stood there thinking she would continue to walk and not look back. “But then that would be extremely rude, and she had already been quiet rude with him not answering the prior questions.”..
”why is this so difficult”.. as many times as she had been flirted with before and able to shrug them off, this man should be no different to handle. Yet, her stomach was so full of butterflies she thought she might be sick….
 "Deedra" she quickly answered in a low voice, not turning to face him, briskly walking away, praying to herself that he would not ask anything else of her.

  The stranger just sat there at his table, a devilish grin planted across his lips, pleased with himself that he had gotten under her skin.
  He could see it in her eyes, heard it in her voice and then in the lack of concern she pretended to have regarding his question.
He liked this new game.
  Challenge, it was his middle name. It’s what made him who he was. Keeping people on their toes around him. He enjoyed making a person nervous. Especially a woman.
  That cute uniform . The way the Black fabric hugged the curves of her sweet body. The mane of golden blonde curls tousled all about her head. She could be a perfect challenge for him.
“This lil girl is gonna be fun,” he chuckled to himself while trying his best to focus in on the menu in his hands.

   Going to the back near the kitchen she told Marie she had a customer. Deedra hadn’t been this edgy in her whole entire life, he somehow had gotten under her skin and made it hard for her to speak to him without a whisper of a voice coming through rather than her normal speaking voice.

    The inquisitive Marcy was standing in the back room taking her break when Deedra came through, and just had to know all about this fine looking man that had walked in and been seated by Deedra. Apparently, every one of the female employees had noticed him. Each wishing they could have been in Deedra’s shoes.
   In a half hand gesture as if slapping at a fly she tried brushing it off as if she hadn’t really even noticed him and so therefore could not give her the answers she was looking for.
  But, typical Marcy kept on with her questions anyway, she knew better. Deedra falling silent and not giving out the answers her friend wanted..
   After listening to Marcy’s ramblings for longer than she wanted too, she stated rather coldly….
"Oh come on Marcy, he’s nothing more than just another arrogant man, thinks he‘s all that". “really nothing more".

   Now Marcy was definitely intrigued with her response. Usually Deedra had only the nicest things to say about someone, even if she wasn‘t very fond of them. Her spirit had always been so easy going, never a cross word or even an angry look in her eyes. She knew that Deedra didn’t just see him as “some arrogant man”….
 It brought a smile to Marcy’s face that he was able to make her this nervous.

  She would just have to check this guy out for herself. Sneaking around the tables to get a good look, She pretended to be cleaning them as she watched the movements of this man, checking out his finely chiseled features and well defined masculine frame. Watching as he ate and wondering to herself if he devoured a woman the way that he was devouring the Barbequed rib he was holding in between his large hands.
   She heard his voice as he spoke to Marie…The sexy deep southern drawl lured her in even more.
    Big dark eyes, a cocky smile and rough around the edges only added to the appeal of him. By the look to the deep tan to his arms and face she could tell he was an outdoors kind of a man. She didn’t have to wonder what had made Deedra act as she did. She would have felt it too.
  Finally something, someone had made Deedra’s heart pound a little, maybe chipping a little at the ice within her heart when she saw him at the door.

    Her friend had kept herself at a distance for so long from any man, shutting herself down from feeling any emotional contact with them.
  Marcy also realized that this man, this stranger, was just like the kind of man Deedra had fantasized about as a teen. Exactly as Deedra had dreamed him to be when they were merely Teen-agers.. But telling Deedra that, she would never believe it, only argue the point with her. After all, in Deedra’s mind, Craig was supposedly what she had wanted in a man. Marcy, just never thought for a moment that she was telling her the real truth.
    “But maybe, just Maybe,” Marcy thought…“Deedra just might wake up a little“.

        Deedra stayed in the kitchen pretending not to be waiting for Marcy to return from her investigation. She had one of the other waitress’s take over her post while the stranger was there. She didn’t want him to see how anxious he had made her…

   Her thoughts were on this man though, she hated the fact that they were…no understanding as to why she was acting like a damn fool in not wanting to be around him. Nor could she comprehend why a part of her was actually waiting for her friend to return and tell her little tidbits about him.

  Standing back in the foreground of the kitchen, hiding like a child from a monster. Afraid to talk to this man, afraid of her own thoughts.
Oh to be home, safe in her bed at this moment. Strange feelings in the pit of her stomach, totally unanswered to her own self….safety is what
she needed most.
She pushed herself to think about Craig, let the guilt wash over her for even allowing herself to look at another man in any capacity.
“was he watching her“. Would he think her to be “childish, immature“,…

     The time since his death had went by like a flash of light with no reason in her mind to look at another man, there had been no feelings of sexuality…
she had shut herself down from all of that, it hadn‘t been intentional at first, but now that she was this way, she was not going to put herself out there on the line with any man. Allowing the pain of loss to stay clearly in the front burner of her mind, it would free her from never feeling that kind of devastation again.
     Marcy walked in and took her away from her thoughts.
    Absolutely full of excitement, bouncing along as she walked. “Your stranger
friend left a note with Marie…Its on a paper napkin no less”.. Marcy spoke to her almost in a song.
“I told her I would bring it to you,”..
extending the hand with the note in it toward Deedra .
“ Open it, open it…come on.. I’m dieing to know what it says”.
    Deedra took the note from her hand and smiled shyly. On the outside of the folded napkin was “Hello” in bold lettering.. Slowly she opened it as if the contents might bite, her fingers not working as well as they should, her hands still seemed shaky from the earlier encounter.

    Deedra didn’t like the feeling of not being in control of her surroundings..
She began reading the note out loud in a slow monotone voice as if she really didn‘t care if she read it or not.
” My name is Josh, You have beautiful eyes.. I didn’t see a ring so you must be single. Call me 555-1481, Anytime, Josh“.

    Silence fell over Deedra, she stood there blank faced, rolled the napkin in to a ball and handed it back to Marcy, who of course opened it up again and read it to herself.
  Deedra would not allow Marcy to know that her stomach was doing flip flops, her heart pounding so loudly she could hear it in her ears, yet keeping up the pretense that this note meant nothing to her.
    Marcy walked over to where Deedra was now standing, studying her face for a moment. Deedra wouldn’t look at her.
    A man had paid attention to Deedra, she had hoped there would be a gleam in her eye, a smile to her face, something…
   “Dee, what’s wrong”. “it’s a cute note, I mean.. he wants to go out with you, I think that‘s so cute“.. “but your like so what, it doesn’t matter“..
“doesn’t it flatter you at all that he wrote this”?. Marcy questioned her friend.

“You don’t get it Marcy, O.K. it‘s nice“…“I just don’t want to be bothered”…her voice snippy and yet a bit broken almost emotional as she spoke….
”didn’t you see him?”, all sure of himself, thinking he‘s all that”!..” just assumes that this note will make me call him“…”that I would want something like him“.
“who does he think he is anyway”?

   Marcy started to speak, feeling a little shocked at how Deedra was talking to her. Not believing this was the sweet girl she knew, and hoping to understand why Deedra was acting like this.. but Deedra cut her off..
”Look, I’m gonna go home, I’m really tired, we aren’t busy anyway”..

 “Well now wait a minute”…Marcy started and was cut off quickly.
I’ll see you tomorrow Marcy”!…she said sharply, almost angrily… not waiting for Marcy to speak again.
  She exited the kitchen in just a matter of seconds, not even allowing for Marcy to say good-bye. Marcy stood there stunned.









             CHAPTER TWO
          
            Angrily, Deedra got in her car. Arguing to herself.

 Driving home she forced her thoughts to go back to the days gone by. Everything seemed to have meaning then. She knew her place next to Craig. It was easy. There was no stress, nothing she had to handle in life. Craig was the master at taking care of anything that happened in their lives..

     That critical night, when the police knocked on her door, all that came to an end and her life seemed to shatter like glass to the floor.

   Her husband was dead. A drunk driver running the stop sign had hit his driver’s door and ended his life with in a split second of time.
   Deedra had desperately wished that the world had stopped turning at that very moment , so unsure of herself as to what to do or how to cope with all the changes that would come so quickly, the repercussions that came with his death.

  Craig had been the man of the marriage, had dominated their world together, made all the important decisions in their lives, even in the most minute details. He kept her safe, secure. Now he was no longer there to tell her what was best for her or her children…
  Two years, having to gain courage and strength where none had existed. Learning to make difficult decisions on her own. Living with the pain of the big empty house that once had companionship in it at least. An adult that could help her decide what was right.

    Without so much as a true grieving period, She had thrust herself into his business, trying her best to learn what she could to continue the company and at the same time, cling to her daughter’s and focus all her attention on their lives. As the stress of the new life surrounded her, all other desires slowly died with the pain of his untimely death.

    The Fireside Inn, would become her pride. It had, after all been a part of her life from the time she was a young girl.
   Still in school and Seventeen, she started there as the part-time waitress.
   A year later and her graduation from high school the new owner, Craig Marlan had taken over and renamed the large restaurant. He had arranged it to be a little different, with a bit of an upper class style to it and yet kept the mainstay of the old country style restaurant it had replaced, keeping the favorite dish, the smoked and deeply lathered with Barbeque, Ribs.
  The Fireside would bring the country charm of the place of yesterday into the mainstream of high class of today, adding to its menu the taste of Red Salmon with it’s lemon pepper sauce and Chicken Breast with mozzarella cheese and bacon as second and third in line favorites…

    Craig had been so much older, and more mature, falling hard for the sweet, innocent Deedra almost immediately. He saw in Deedra a child like beauty, small framed with baby blonde long curly hair, and the most captivating green eyes he had ever seen. He knew she was young, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. Her face, her body, her movements would be all he could focus his attentions on. He had to have this child/woman for his own. He could mold her into a woman of style and beauty. Make the insecure child flower under his watchful eye.

  Deedra had a air of shyness to her in her youth. Always feeling as though she didn’t quiet fit in with the other girls she went to school with. Raised in the country, with a family that spoke with a deep southern drawl and a Father that worked hard for the ranches around as a day labor cowboy.
   She hated that life, hated that he worked so hard, never had a life outside of his family and job. Never finding the time to enjoy what life had to offer. Tired an worn he would come home with never enough time for his wife and children.
 Her Mother the typical housewife, with all the chores of running a house, and having everything perfect for her husband when he came home each night. She would keep the children quiet, not allowing them to bother their Father, never having any time for herself.
   When Deedra reached high school, she had to go to school in the city. Thrusting her in to going to school with other teens who’s parents were well to do. They would taunt her for her southern accent, make fun of her clothing. In order to fit in better, she made the decision to take extra classes in English Literature, learning to speak correctly and with more sophistication.
   Long gone were the blue jeans and boots she had worn most of her life. Once she found a job she slowly replaced her western style of clothing with nice polished pants and soft simple dresses.
  
  Two weeks past her eighteenth birthday, both of her parents were killed in a crash on a major highway, heading to visit relatives in Alabama. Their deaths took Deedra into a deep depression and self hate, pushing her further into her shyness she had built around her like a shield. In time she stopped having anything to do with the family that had been left behind.

   When Craig started dating Deedra the employees at the Inn just couldn’t imagine what she could possibly see in this man...After all, he was Twenty years older and far more reserved. He had been born in to money, and used a great deal of it to play the stock markets and invest in high yield bonds making him even richer. The Fireside was a toy he bought just to give him something to do.

   Craig looked the part as having come from money too, his tall built thin frame, every light brown hair on his head kept short and perfectly coiffed. Always dressed for success on a daily basis, in his designer suits and ties.
  Marcy could not stand how pompous he was, always looking down his glasses when he spoke to someone, the trait she disliked most about him. But, she learned to endure him for her friend.
  To Deedra, he was a kind and tender man, he protected her, made good sound decisions for her and loved her with all of his heart. He helped to drive the pain of her parents death away. Replacing the empty space in her heart with Craig.

    Marcy, had been floored by their dating.. She had thought he was not at all like the fantasy man that her friend had spoken of so many times, during the moments when they shared their inner most secrets.
   That man, that fantasy, had been Passionate, Strong ,Determined and Powerful. He would whisk Deedra away on his White Horse and passionately take her away and make her his own..
  Nothing like Craig…

     But, for what ever her reasoning’s and against arguing the point with her about Craig...
 The virginal, innocent Deedra married the sophisticated, wealthy Craig.
 
   There had been a few times in the marriage, she would think about her life with Craig. It was so common, even peaceful in so many ways, to the point of being boring. There had never been any of the fiery passion she had once dreamed she would have in her life, Nothing like the Romance Novels she had read, it wasn’t Craig’s style. He had been a cut and dry type of man, making appointments and calculations in his life to do something, nothing was ever done on the spur of the moment.

  But, he did have other wonderful qualities to him that Deedra saw, he was loyal and generous of his love for her, provided her with all she could ever ask or want for and was a superb father to their two daughters, Jessica and Casey.

     Her daughters, each so unique, so different. She and Craig had been married less than three months when she found she was expecting. Jessica, now 10, was so self assured and perfectly poised like her Father, but with a slight flair to be adventurous, while little Casey at 7, was quieter and somewhat of a loner like her mother.
  Their Fathers death had been a hard blow on the two young girls, there had been nightmares and school problems and temper tantrums to deal with during the first few months after his death. Many times Deedra wasn’t so sure she would be able to handle, nor survive through it. But thankfully with the help of Marcy, she did get through the difficult time..

    And as time usually does, the healing began for the children, and with each day they all grew stronger in their abilities to deal with what had occurred.

    Deedra became stronger as a business woman, and learned to cope with the Accountants and the pressures that go along with owning a business, and having to deal with Money Markets, C.D.‘s and Bonds, having had no idea of the wealth her husband possessed.



             
       CHAPTER THREE
       

      Josh never found the time to pursue much of anything other than work. It was his main focus in life. It was his calling, his history. A part of a family tradition that spanned three generations of Ranching in the Eastern County of Sarasota Florida.
     The Company, McKenzie Ranch raised and sold livestock, mostly cattle for beef, it had been his Grandfather’s beginning. Growing up on the Cherokee Reservation in North Carolina, he wanted more in life then what he was offered there.
  Taking the knowledge his Father had shown him regarding cattle and bidding his family farewell, he embarked on the journey to Florida to make something out of his life, more than just the son of a Cherokee Indian.
   Homesteading some of the property and then picking up the remaining choice property nestled in the deepest area of the country side for a song..
  When his Grandfather had passed away he left everything to his only child, Josh’s Father Tyler Buck McKenzie
   Josh’s Father worked long and hard to give his son’s Deacon and Josh something for the future: and it had been Buck’s (as most people called him),pride and joy. He worked the boys into the business when they had been very
little., so it was like second nature to them all of their lives.
    When their Father passed away five years earlier, there wasn’t anything the two men couldn’t handle.
       There had been many times Josh wished his Father was still with him, not so much for the business, Josh knew that like the back of his hand, but for his personal life.
    His dad’s wisdom had gotten him over many a rough spot. Though Josh was over confident about many aspects of his life, he still wished for the guidance and wisdom his Father possessed.
       Deacon was one of the true thorns in his life. They could run the business together with no problems, but they were as different as night and day, Deacon liked getting under his skin and creating conflict between them. Both men, known to knock heads over the most unimportant issues, then shake hands and walk away from the fight as if it had never happened. He loved his brother, but a small part of him hated Deacon, as well. Everything was always so easy for him.

         His other down fall was women, his personality scaring them away before he had a chance to show what kind of man he really was.
  He was a master at flirting, well educated in how to make a woman come alive in bed. A dangerous man when it came to a woman in his life, more apt to having a one night stand than a long term relationship. Sexually they wanted to stay, but his domineering side always scaring them away.
    Occasionally when he would find a woman he wanted to pursue, his die hard personality would get in the way.
He was too hard, determined…edgy.
   His confidence, though he would never admit it to anyone, was low at times in the area of women.
   Truly, he felt most were users, only after money, and bent on tearing away at a man’s soul. Josh’s one marriage in his thirty years of life had lasted a mere four years and produced two sons; Dusty and Darrin. For the boys, he was grateful,, for the marriage to Lindsey Reed, he was not. It had left him with a disgustingly bitter taste in his mouth regarding the softer sex..

     She had been a user, wanting money, married Josh to get access to it, produced the children and then she used them as her ticket out of the country life and into the city where she had been raised. With the divorce she had gotten exactly what she wanted.
    Lindsey had ended up receiving thirty percent of the companies earnings over
the four years of marriage, payable in one lump sum, alimony till she married again, and a hefty amount of child support…and since the Ranch house Josh had built, valued at over $250,000 could not be sold due to the fact it was part of the overall Ranch, The house had been appraised and Lindsey had gotten half of what the house itself was worth, also in one lump sum.
     Sometimes he hated Lindsey, hated all women. Other times he would reach out for a
woman to hold, find her, only to let them go.
   He knew he was hard, knew he came off to strong most of the time. His personality was rigid and firm,. What he wanted, he always set out to achieve…that kept him from finding and keeping the right woman.

     The only woman in his life that had never let him down was his mother
    , Katy. A fiery bit of a woman whose home also sat on the nine thousand acre ranch. Momma, as he affectionately called her, kept trying to make Josh believe that there was a good woman out there somewhere.
   He always hugged her, made her think that he believed her words would come true…but in the silence of the long nights, there were times, he wondered if it would ever happen.
    A happy family, like he had growing up, and like Deacon had now, he just didn’t know…

   Tonight though, laying in his bed waiting for the sleep to take him, his mind went back to the restaurant, to that woman.
  The short little blonde that wouldn’t give him the time of day.
   He reflected to himself that she was a real “knock-out”. Not perfect, but fresh looking with sexy eyes and a body to match. Her hair was as golden as the sun and her lips, so large and expressive.. her walk tall and proud. Even though she was a tiny little thing that he was sure could hold her own if she wanted. She had to be passionate, sweltering, wanting….her eyes expressed that she was.
  He wondered to himself about the note, would she ever read it, ever call…, “naw”.. he thought to
himself, “she won’t., she wasn’t the least bit interested ”..

    In his mind, he decided to visit the Fireside as often as he could, get her attention, although he didn’t know what it was about her that captivated him so much.. guessed he liked the game, the challenge. Behind the solemn, quiet eyes lay a woman.. a real woman. He wanted to know everything he could about her.
    He could feel that she was just waiting in silence for the creature within her to be released… and Josh McKenzie figured..
 “He was just the man to do it“.

  Thinking about this woman, he could feel the movement growing between his thighs. Exciting him to just think about her face. Her body. How he could hold the curly hair in his hands. Imagining in his mind what he could do to her if he ever got the chance. Make her skin crawl, her body come alive with ache. He had the power. If he could just get his foot in the door to show her.


                CHAPTER FOUR

        The children finally off to bed it was a perfect time for a long hot bath, the tub filled to the brim with the sweet scent of gardenia bubble bath. She loved that smell. It always seemed so rich and inviting. It had seemed like such a long time ago that she had cared enough to take a long relaxing bath always opting for a shower first thing in the morning.
   Tonight though, she felt edgy.. needed something more to relax the day away.
   After toweling herself off and putting her favorite purple cotton nighty on, she sighed a long drawn out breath when she climbed under the thick comforter.
   As slumber eased its way in to her head, the image of the stranger peaked in as well. An uninvited guest, she could not seem to shake. All she wanted was to go to sleep. But, her mind would not shut him off. Taking a deep breath she could smell his scent in the room. Closing her eyes, she could see his dark naked body standing before her. He was perfect. Glistening tanned skin, deep rigid muscles. That long black hair laying to either side of his face down the sides almost reaching the chest muscles. The large almost black eyes piercing through her, wanting her.
   She opened her eyes quickly, begging for the thoughts to stop. She hadn’t experienced anything like this, thinking of a man like this that she barely knew.
  Again she forced herself to think about Craig, willing the guilt to come and take over and push the thoughts of this stranger from her mind.

     When she awoke the next morning she was ready to take on the world. She eased into the kitchen carefully so as not to wake the children. It was six o’clock and Jessica and Casey would be getting up in thirty minutes for school, in the mean time Deedra would bath in the silence of the morning with her coffee and collect her thoughts for the day.
   She didn’t need to be at the Fireside until twelve, so until that time she had many things in
the home to keep her busy.

  Deedra didn’t spend many hours with the girls during the week, but when the week-ends came, she made those days just for them. There were times she felt guilty for not being with the children more, she knew she really didn’t need to work. She had several employees at the Fireside that could be trusted.
  But.. she needed her days to be filled, needed to feel worthwhile. She hated time spent alone. It was during those lonely days when she would curse Craig for leaving her, leaving the children. Then she would hate herself for having those thoughts. The vicious cycle of blame. It had not been Craig’s fault…she knew that. But she needed someone to blame for the coldness and aching in her heart.
    
  Sitting at the kitchen table, she let her mind wander to the note that this man Josh had sent to her. She had to admit to herself it was a little flattering, It made her feel warm inside to know he had done something like that, to get the attention she guessed. To have someone notice that she existed. Yet, it bothered her that she had taken it all to seriously.
Too seriously in fact, so much so that she had thought of him last night. She couldn’t allow that to happen again.
  Other men had flirted, she had been able to handle them with no problem, never had she given them a moments glance.
 “So, why was she so nervous yesterday“?
She didn’t have that answer.

  And, ok, yes if truth be known it did make her feel good…and yes, she had noticed him though every part of her being had tried not too. It was against her moral standing to think about any other man. She was a widow, she would remain a widow.
“It was stupid anyway, to think about a man she didn’t even know. Absolutely silly, to be remembering the note at all“.

    No sooner did she get through the door she was bombarded. Marcy was waiting impatiently for her. Inquisitive as to why Deedra had left in such a hurry, why she seemed so upset at the note. Although the same age as Deedra, Marcy was more like a mother figure to Deedra then just a friend. She also knew that Deedra had never truly been happy in life, had lost her parents at too young of an age and had latched on to Craig as a way of feeling some of the security she so desperately needed. She also knew that her friend hid behind the death of her husband to feel safe and as strange as it sounded, lonely.
   Deedra never complained otherwise to Marcy, but she just knew.

Deedra on the other hand had always been envious of Marcy. She had been married for years to her high school sweetheart, Brad Tomlinson. Marcy was one of the most special people she had ever known. She loved her bubbly personality, and even though she was overweight, Deedra always thought she had the most flawless face, so attractive. Her pranks and jokes made her even more endearing, more priceless in Deedra’s eyes.

       Marcy finally caught up to Deedra in the storage area, she couldn’t stand it any longer, her curiosity getting the best of her.
    “Dee.. what is going on with you” Marcy questioned. Deedra just looked at her as if she had no idea what Marcy was talking about. “What, what did I do now”? ..
”you know what I’m talking about Dee, why were you so upset yesterday”?
   Deedra just looked blankly at her friend for a moment, pretending that she has no idea what she is talking about
 “OH“, ”Your making to much of it Marcy, I just wanted to go home, if that’s what your asking about”..
Deedra just seem to state matter of factly as she was walking away .

  “Now just a minute”…Marcy’s voice rising in pitch, stopping her before she could leave the room
“what is up with you, I want to know?”
”Marcy just drop it, it’s nothing, really nothing…look, we’ll talk later ok?”…

    Marcy stood there for a moment watching yet again as Deedra avoided the questions and walked off. Marcy threw the napkins she had been holding up into the air and watched them fall to the floor. “damn it” she muttered to herself. “what is wrong with her“..
“I can’t even play with her about this man, I can’t get any information. And she damn sure can’t just be a woman and enjoy that someone notices her”…”damn it”…Marcy was thinking to herself and getting angrier as she did.
“what is she gonna do, be an old spinster“..

Still upset that Deedra didn’t at least notice the attention…her thoughts running wild within her head..
“ Craig’s been gone two years, she’s still young and she just drifts further into herself”
 She knew Deedra had loved Craig, but being in love…Marcy never thought so. She had never seen the passion, the fire in their marriage. It had just been safe.
   Craig had been more like a
Father and Deedra the little girl. Whatever they had felt for each other, Marcy was darn sure it was time to lay the past to rest, and move on. The time had come for her friend to awaken and learn what real life, real love was all about. She was tired of watching her just blend in to the backdrop of her own existence, allowing the years to pass without any effort to find happiness for herself, and for that of her children.
   Somehow Deedra had to open her eyes to the world around her…Marcy, would figure out a way to see her best friend find it.


            





                 
         CHAPTER FIVE

         The dinner shift was almost to a close, it had been a long afternoon for Deedra. She was tired and her feet ached. She decided to freshen up her make-up for the remaining nights shift.

   She paused as she looked into the mirror and remembered to herself that she had a meeting in the morning with John Sims, her accountant. Her husband had trusted John and his knowledge for years, so when Craig died there had never been any doubt in Deedra’s mind that she would remain with him and his firm.

    Deedra came back out to the front, some of the
waitresses were still on their break, she decided now was a good time to check the cash drawer and remove all the unnecessary bills from it and slip it in its envelope for the deposit in the morning prior to her meeting with John.

  She heard the chimes from the door being opened, but did not look up from her task at hand. When she did look, she realized the “stranger” was standing only a few feet away. She could smell the intoxicating aroma of his cologne. It sent her body in to overdrive. Feeling the ache down in the lower region of her body.
 
  Automatically, the nervousness returned. The lump thickening in her throat. She could feel the stare of his eyes burn into her skin, and she didn’t dare look up into his eyes. The man. The one behind the note.. sleek boots, tight faded jeans and a dark blue western shirt fitting him snuggly around the rolled up sleeves of his arms, presenting the definitions of his large muscular frame.
   She felt the shiver climb up the back of her spine, her heart beat quickening by the site of him.
  He broke the silence that loomed between them.
“why didn’t you call me”?.. his voice deep and raspy, the air of his southern drawl thick as morning fog.
“I waited half the night and the whole next day to hear from you”…

 Deedra took sight of herself at that moment, biting down on her tongue,
 “How arrogant a man is he”’…
”I’m not in the habit of calling strangers…Sir” Deedra said despairingly, while trying her best to remain polite…
”would you like a table” she asked as if it were just another customer she was waiting on.
 “Drop the sir stuff will ya.. I’m not an old man yet”.. Josh replied, with a bit of amusement in the tone of his voice.
“you aren’t gonna lose your job or nothing if you had called me would ya?” He was looking directly at her, piercing her with those eyes, her stomach doing flips, she was positive that he would be able to tell how uneasy he was making her.

    Deedra broke into the conversation, and tried her best to speak without him noticing he had her off guard..
 “Sir.., I have other Customers, can I show you to a table” extending her hand out toward the tables in a pointed fashion, her voice sounding a bit edgy.

 “Show me a table“!, Show me a table!!!”…Josh’s voice was tense, moving his hand forward like shewing away a fly toward the cluster of tables.
“Damn“, he thought to himself, “Am I wastin my time here , this little lady isn’t gonna give an ounce of time, is she”?…
    He wasn’t use to that, most every women he met, loved his flirting, enjoyed listening to his deep voice. They wanted to get to know him, be around him. Most thought him to be very handsome, sexy….his problems was always with keeping them once they got to know his boisterous, strong and self assured self.
     Josh thought about one more time of trying to break the ice, then thought decided against it. If his charm didn’t get her attention yet, then he would have to put more effort into the deal.
“she may take a little bit of coaxin to break her down”…speaking to himself in a whisper.
    It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, she had already hurriedly taken him to his table and turned on her heels just as quickly and left.

   Her legs felt like Jell-o, but she’d be damned if she would let him see it. He did intrigue her though…but she couldn’t allow herself to speak to him for more than a moment.
   Besides she reasoned “he is so damned arrogant and self-centered…what on earth would she have in common with a man like him anyway”.

     Deedra went back to the register, but she knew without even looking that he was watching her every movement. Every customer she talked to, laughed with…he was there. It made her feel so uneasy.
   But yet, there was a bit of a thrill to it as well.
    A little sinful…maybe driving him a little crazy, something he couldn’t have, Ever have.
   Crazy is what she felt for feeling like this. Crazy that these thoughts even entered in to her mind… “why on earth would she be interested in a this country bumpkin“.
 No Deedra Marlan was definitely not interested in this hillbilly cowboy….




              CHAPTER SIX-

           Almost Four months had come and gone since Josh first entered into the Fireside and laid his eyes on Deedra. Over the course of time, he had rubbed off a little on her…though she still would not accept anything but casual conversation, maybe a little bit of playful flirting on her part, once and a while, but nothing more.
   He knew barely anything about her. What he did know, he had gotten out of Marcy or one of the other waitress’s, and they were fairly tight lipped.
  Marcy knew more about him in the conversations they had then Deedra. She wouldn’t even ask what he and Marcy talked about, and Marcy didn’t tell. She figured that if Deedra was going to play this hard to get, then two could play the game.

  He thought at first, months ago, that she was just another snippety broad, better than him, is why she wouldn‘t give him the time of day. She acted as though she was better than him, and that he would never be able to fit in to her world.
  He knew better of it now.
  Between the light conversations with Marcy about her friend, and Josh watching her every movement.. he was figuring out it was just shyness. She really didn’t know how to actually flirt. She seemed stand offish but it was more because of her shyness then because she thought she was better than him.
    She was a challenge. He liked this challenge. Promising himself he wouldn’t give up. It became a kick to frequent the Fireside at least twice a week and learn Deedra’s schedule of days she worked, down to a science.
   At least she had started greeting him by his first name, he in turn would make her cringe a little every time he called her his new nickname for her; “Sunshine”…
especially when he would do it in front of the other customers. Especially when he would add that sweet sexy smile of his to go with it.

    Like a school boy, he remembered the month he met her, springtime…May.
   This was now August .. and the woman he was so sure he could charm, still didn’t seem charmed at all.
    She was a thorn in his side, wasn’t really sure she was worth it. But there was just something about her he could not explain. He seemed to like her hard edges; her strengths. Her shyness.
   Something in her eyes that would draw him in to them., she walked with ease and presence even with all of her fears and apprehensions. Her flirting was awkward, and yet she there was an air of untapped sexuality about her. He really wanted to tap in and taste the sweet nectar of Deedra.
  He couldn’t forget it and stop coming to see her even if he wanted.
 She dominated his dreams at night, his mind and body fixated on this woman. He would conjure up dreams of her deep in the night to release the tensions built up. She would come to him in the still of the night, give herself to him. She was always amazing. A wonderful fantasy.
    Even aside from the dreams, The most powerful of his feelings toward her was every time he looked into her eyes, a feeling he could not explain came over him, nothing like he had ever known.

   Deedra wasn’t as shy as Josh thought she was. She did keep him at arms length. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to. It was more to do with what she thought her moral fiber was. How she should be perceived. The fact that she was and would always be a widow, and needed for the world to see that. She wanted the feelings of guilt to over take her. It was her only way to defend herself from ever leaving the safety of the world she created.

  Truth be known, she couldn’t wait for him to come into the Fireside, but once he was there , she couldn’t wait for him to leave either. He dominated her thoughts during the day, even entering into her dreams at night. All this was new to her. Prior to, during or even after Craig’s death, she never remembered dreaming of any man during the night. Never smelled the scent of him in the room when she woke, in the deepest darkest moments of the night.
   Certainly, never awoke sweating and on fire where her apparition (Josh) had just made love to her.
The smell of him filling the air around her.
   Her insides still on fire from the dream, she would hate the feeling , curse it.
Then love the feeling and smile from it.
Josh, The man was driving her to the point of thinking she might be loosing her mind.
  wanting to know all there was to know about him, to have him make love to her like that in the real world, and yet wanted to get as far away as she could, not wanting to know anything at all.

     The only person with any sense about her it seemed was Marcy, at least that is what she believed. She was no idiot, and darn sure wasn’t blind to the fact that at least she could see how the two acted around each other, could see the sparkle in Deedras eyes though her words, she would speak of intolerance, self-centeredness, boisterous… when she said anything about Josh. Friends with her long enough to realize there was much more to her actions than her words.

  She knew that Deedra was the hold up to this…so she decided to take matters in her own hands. She would have to help things along and become the match maker in this scenario…

   Wednesday of the following week, and after having to talk her husband Brad into this little “date”, Marcy decided to have the two star crossed lovers over for dinner., without Deedra having any knowledge that Josh would be there. That afternoon at the Fireside, Marcy put her plan into action.
    When Josh came in at his usual time, she walked over to his table and blatantly told him, not ask him of her plan and the invite for dinner….explaining that this little game being played had went on long enough and she would really like to see Deedra find some happiness, and since she wasn’t going to make the first move, and he didn’t seem like he was going to push it as hard as she thought he should, she would take matters into her own hands on this one.
  He just smiled as she spoke to him as if it were a do or die kind of dinner and totally agreed with the plan, he would be there ….six o’clock sharp the next night.







          CHAPTER SEVEN

    Nearing the appointed time of arrival, Marcy her usually calm self was becoming just a little nervous. Everything was prepared and ready to go, the kid’s were all over at their Grandmother’s house. The count down to the minute would begin in Marcy’s mind.

  Brad was just as nervous, though not exactly for the same reasons as Marcy. He was rather shy about meeting new people, didn’t make friends easily…and he wasn’t so sure that Marcy wasn’t making a huge mistake. “Time would tell soon enough”.. he thought to himself. He was just hoping that Dee would forgive Marcy for meddling in her business.

   Deedra checked her appearance in the mirror and gave the last minute instructions to Mrs. Baker before leaving. As usual Deedra had picked out one of her favorite dresses, a Burgundy Victorian Velour dress. She loved the way that Velour and Velvet felt against her skin, so soft and warm and breathable. For a Thirty-Two year old Woman, her body was still young and slim. She was happy for that fact, although she never really did anything to keep it that way.

  Marcy answered the door to the tall gentleman standing in her doorway, and immediately introduced him to her husband. There was no way not to notice what a truly handsome man he was. No way not to notice his presence filled the room. She explained to him that Deedra had not yet arrived, and that in fact.. she had told Deedra to arrive 15 minutes after Josh’s arrival to ensure she would not figure anything out.

   Brad was surprised that he immediately liked this man, he had a natural comical side to him, his stories though true being told in such a way that you could not help to laugh.
“You should be a stand-up comic, ya know that”? Brad quipped. Marcy was smiling to herself that at least he and Brad were getting along well. That was a very good sign to her that Josh was just the type of man Deedra needed. If Brad liked him, He had to be something special.

   Marcy was standing at the front door, even before Deedra had gotten out of the car..
“Whose truck is that”? she inquired, looking over toward the large Black four-wheel drive diesel truck dominating the drive.
  “just a friend I invited over, hope you won’t mind”.. Marcy stated matter-of-factly as if it were no big deal.
 “Come on into the living room and see”.. a bit of glee to her voice..

   Stepping from the Foyer into the Living room, she could clearly see who Marcy’s friend was, her eyes went wide, a flush of red across her face. Anyone in the room could clearly see that she was not at all pleased by what her friend had done...
 “Well Hello there Sunshine”…Josh spoke, easing himself off the couch to greet her…
“Josh“.. she nodded her head toward him. “how are you”? exchanging the pleasantry , when in fact she really didn’t care how he was.
 

“What a coincidence it is that you and Marcy are such good friends, wouldn’t you say”? a sarcastic tone but trying to keep her voice calm and not show the anger and embarrassment she was really feeling.
  Deedra walked through the living room rather quickly and into the kitchen…positioning herself against the counter and waited impatiently for Marcy to be on her heels behind her…
”Of all the tricks to pull” she thought to herself, positioning herself against the counter next to the refrigerator and staring angrily at the floor.
   Deedra gave her friend absolutely no time to speak as she came into the room..
“what is going on here, what the hell are you pulling”?..
 “Oops”.. Marcy thought…”Oh, now Deedra, don’t be like this…Please”??
Deedra just glared at her.
 “Look I just wanted you to have a little fun,”…”I thought this would be fun”…

   “Oh I reallyyy appreciate it Marcy.. I really do“…Deedra was gritting her teeth.. “ really I do”…she repeated. “But what gives you the right to decide what I want or need”? desperately trying to keep her voice low and smooth so that Brad and Josh could not hear what she was saying. God she hated having to be angry at Marcy, but this was way out of line in her eyes….

  Marcy just stood there for a moment, trying to think of something funny or light to say to ease the tension…
“Come on Deedra“…What can it hurt“..“ just stay for dinner“..
Deedra cut her eyes over at her friend. Both women in silence for a moment..
“just dinner, then I leave”…

“ at least try to be nice to Josh o.k.”? Marcy was almost begging her friend. “just for tonight, please”?…
“Alright Marcy, but I swear soon as dinner’s over I’m out of here”…

    Deedra decided she would put forth the effort,
Even though she was still not pleased with what her friend had done.
 As the night wore on though, she was clearly surprised at this “Country Bumpkin”, finding that Josh was more than she had originally imagined him to be.
   He was extremely intelligent, funny, and a great story teller. She caught herself several times actually laughing out loud at his jokes, then would realize what she was doing and stop only to be caught up again in his words.

  She couldn’t help but to notice the way his muscles tightened and relaxed in his arms and neck as he told a story. The movement of his mouth as he spoke. The huge deep brown eyes that spoke even when he wasn’t. The wink of his left eye, when he made eye contact with her.
He seemed so self assured, almost as if he had been to visit many times before. So comfortable with himself and his surroundings.

  He spoke of his son’s, his love for them shining through in his eyes. She learned he wasn’t a drinker and was actually more of a homebody.
 He told them he worked on a Ranch outside of town and had lived in the country all of his life. She was also quite surprised to find at how well read he was on many subjects, and found him easy to debate a topic with.

  Josh spent most of his time studying Deedra’s features. The way the Burgundy dress complimented her Blonde hair around her shoulders, and watched in delight as she twirled her curls around her finger as she talked, the flicker of light that would sparkle in her beautiful doe shaped green eyes, when she was relating something that happened in her life. He couldn’t help but to watch her full lips as they moved allowing her words to flow out and the sound, the pretty sound of her voice as she spoke.

   So shy and child like in so many ways, and yet, Josh didn’t see her as that way at all. She was passionate and fiery looking, her movements sexy. A natural sexiness without trying to be.
   He noticed how small her features were in comparison to her large eyes and lips…
He also could not help to notice how really Intelligent, warm and giving she actually was. When she laughed at a joke he told, her laugh was light and airy. There really wasn’t anything that he didn’t find attractive about this woman.

Even though, he knew deep down that she wanted to be anywhere but in this living room with him.

   Marcy, the instigator, was keeping the conversations going and taunting Deedra to tell Josh things she didn’t really think was any of his business. But to keep from causing a scene with her friend, she did tell him about her two young girls, and about Craig and his untimely death. He could almost see the pain in her eyes as she talked openly about it.
  The biggest surprise for Josh was learning that she didn’t just work as a hostess at the Fireside, but that she was the owner of it.

   It was driving Deedra crazy from within that the more Josh spoke of himself, the easier Deedra felt around him and the more she felt like she wished she could withdraw and hide.

  He seemed so rough and worn looking, high-spirited and cocky.
  Handsome to a fault. Dark and mysterious. She couldn’t help to notice the sheen from his long dark hair and how beautifully it laid against his back.

   Before any of them had realized it, it was after Two a.m and it was well past time for them to leave. Deedra the first to say she really had to go.
    So many mixed emotions going on inside of her during this dinner party, most of which she didn’t understand. She was very relieved that she could finally get out of there.

   Josh was too busy wondering to himself.. “Did she like him, or didn’t she“…
it was so hard to tell, hard to tell if she ever would be much more than a distant friend to him. But, he was at least glad to have been given the chance to see her one on one and away from her work.
    When he told her he would walk her to her car, immediately there was a lump growing in her throat and the nervousness that had finally left earlier was now returning in full force.
 
   Josh wanted to bend down and kiss her, no…he wanted to kiss her hard. He wanted to see the wide open look to her eyes when he did, take her breath away, shock her.
  Knowing if he tried anything like that all he would get would be a slap to the face.
 This was not the time. He would find the right time.

  Deedra was feeling the same type of emotion, mixed in with her feeling of flight.
  So many times she had touched him in her dreams, smelling the scent of him in her room, filling her senses. She could almost taste his breath from where he was standing now. Her body turning against her, aching for him to touch her, hold her.
  Yet, her mind disliked everything about him, he was much to tall, much too big of a man for her liking. To forward, to sure of himself. Fighting an inner turmoil, between body and mind, willing her mind to rule out over everything else. She needed to stand firm.

   He could have grabbed her up in his arms and made her want him, even just a little. Instead he was left not knowing whether or not she had just endured him through this whole night….
     He wished her a good night and watched her drive away…



 
            CHAPTER EIGHT

  As with all Sundays, this was Deedra’s day for sleeping in late, then lazing around the house. The children always amused themselves with their Cartoons and Video games. When their Mother had gotten her bearings together and dressed they would head over to the little Café downtown that served breakfast twenty-four hours a day. From there they would spend the remaining day together, doing whatever her girls had decided they wanted to do.

  Deedra rolled over and looked at the clock, it was eight-thirty and she was wide awake. It felt to warm and cozy to get out from under the covers just yet. Instead she lay there closing her eyes and hoping that perhaps she would drift back off to sleep.

  Her thoughts turned to the week before, the dinner at Marcy’s, then to Josh. The intensity of this man. “What made such a man as himself tick”?
 “What was it about him that he somehow seemed to touch her in some way…was she attracted to him, or perhaps it was just loneliness that made her think she was attracted“?… Whatever it was, she thought.. he had seemed to touch a part of her that had laid dormant for years, and in some odd way, he seemed to tap into emotions she wasn’t sure she had ever had.

  Through out the week he had come into the Fireside, especially to see her. She had allowed herself to talk to him while he was there, lightly of course. She kept herself on guard, careful not to say or do anything that would give him the impression that she was interested in him.
   But, she was interested. He was always in her thoughts, her dreams. A part of her wanting him so badly it hurt, and the other part of her issuing a warning against him, not to get to close.

  The knock on the front door, brought her back to reality. She lay there, listening, wondering who on earth would be there at this time of the morning., especially a Sunday morning…
 “People should know better” ..she mumbled to herself, thinking that it must be Marcy come over to chat.
 Curious to know, but not daring to walk out there and see, she didn’t want to go to the living room half dressed and her hair all tousled about her head. She heard little feet running toward her room, and sat up in the bed just as Jessica came barreling through the door.
 Jumping on to her Mother’s bed with one swift leap…”Mommy, some guy is here…he knows you”…
“Oh No” she whispered in her mind. Immediately becoming nervous at the thought…a man…JOSH.
What’s his name“, Deedra asked her out of breath and excited daughter, fearing the words that would come from the child‘s mouth…
”Uhmmm“…she thought for a moment…“Josh.. I think he said”…“anyway, can we go horse back riding”? “Pleaseeeeee”?
“Are you kidding me, you girls have never been on a horse ”… Deedra answered quickly, gulping at the air in her throat at the thought of Josh standing in her house… hurriedly she starting getting herself out of the bed.
  Casey came running over, grabbing at her Mother’s leg and started begging , “Pulllezeeeeeeee mommy pulllezeeeeeeee”
“Casey.. Please stop that”.. her Mother urged.
” He says he’s a friend of yours.. we can have pizza and everything”…”come on, can we Mom…can we”? Jessica pleaded.
  Deedra was floored, she didn’t know what to say to them or what to do…he had already gotten the children too excited..
It angered her that he had the nerve to come here unannounced and enticed the children this way.
“let me speak to Mr. McKenzie first”….”tell him I will be right there”…
   
   Josh was standing in the living room of the massive home. He could hear the children pleading with their mother. He smiled to himself listening to them. Looking around his surroundings, amazed by such a posh upscale environment.
“No wonder she isn’t giving in to me…she’s way outta my league”.. he reasoned to himself.
  Every detail in the rooms that he could see were color coordinated all the way down to the carpet on the flooring and the marble tile in the foyer that surrounded the front door.
Finally, after looking over the interior, impatiently waiting for Deedra to come out of her room…he decided he would go help the kids along with their begging.

Before Deedra could get to the bathroom to straighten her hair and throw her robe on, Jessica was announcing that “Mr. Josh” was already in the room.
 “here he is Mommy.. talk to him now”.. Jessica yelled out excitedly.
Deedra looked from out of the bathroom door to find that in fact.. he was standing in her room.

“Oh my gawd…the nerve”.. she thought to herself, trying to hide herself as best she could.
 “Good Morning Sunshine”.. ”I hope you don’t mind my askin the kids first”…
speaking to her as he visually was looking her up and down in her small blue nightgown that left nothing to the imagination.

  He could see from the look on her face she was not at all thrilled by any of this…he chuckled in his mind, he caught her off guard. “Gawd he loved it”…
“Oh well”… he thought.. “if he hadn’t went through the children, she would have said no to his invitation without even so much as a thought“.

  “I really don’t think you should be in here….I will meet you in the living room Josh“, “if you don’t mind“…Deedra snipped.
   Smiled sheepishly at the girls, he winked over at them and without a word walked back down the hall to the living room, a smirk still planted firmly to his face.
“Now she might be a strong one I tell ya what”…he thought to himself.

  Deedra hurriedly combed her hair, washed her face and quickly put on her robe. She was without a doubt becoming angrier the more she thought about what had just occurred.
No sooner did she step into the living room, the children were all over her again about going…
   She had a few things to say to Mr. McKenzie.. and was going to usher the children out of the room in order to say her piece, unfortunately, before she could Josh piped in and fed fuel to the fire…
”look you will like it at my house, the kids will have a ball”…”they can ride horses, take walks, play with my sons”.. ”what harm can it do”?…
Deedra started to answer him “look, I appreciate“…
Josh cut her off…” Oh now don‘t turn me down, come on, the kids want to go so badly“…..
“The girls can’t ride horses”…she announced
“That’s alright there’s still plenty to do, and I can teach them”, “You ride don’t you”?
“I have ridden yes, a long time ago though” she answered..
“That’s good enough”, “Come on now”


  
   He had the girls so excited by now that Deedra didn’t know how to say no to them without hurting their feelings.
So, while gritting her teeth and letting her body signal to Josh that she was not at all happy about any of this, she gave in and told him she would bring them out as soon as she had fed the girl’s.

  Josh grinned to himself as he wrote the directions down on a small piece of paper that Jessica had handed him, then winked again at the two young girls as he excused himself and left. Leaving Deedra standing there with no options she could have thought of quick enough to back out of this visit. He had used the girls against her….that really made her livid at him for doing that. What an uncomfortable position he had put her in.

  She would have to spend the afternoon at his home, and try to make small talk long enough to satisfy her children so that she could get them to go home without listening to them beg to stay., the uncomfortable position was not over by far.




            CHAPTER NINE

   When Josh got back to the ranch, he was already on pins and needles. The boys were down at Deacon’s house having breakfast with their cousins. He still couldn’t believe that he had just drove into town and talked Deedra and her children to coming out.
  Well, ok he didn’t really talk Deedra into anything, He knew it was wrong to get the kids so excited, “but hey.. it worked”... he thought.
  She was too contrary to have come out any other way. So he had to push.. he had some definite plans for the two of them today. One way or another, he would find a way to be alone with her. The ache in the pit of his belly was more than he could stand. He had made love to her over and over and in every position in his mind. If nothing else today, he will at least have kissed her.
  His sons would keep the girls busy at one end of the ranch and he would try to lure Deedra to the other end. Nine thousand acres was a darn good place to start at trying to be alone with her.
He busied himself trying to clean up the house, straightening it as best he could. He was no housekeeper, he had a woman that took care of that three times a week, but the boys had been there and messed it up a little…”Miss Deedra, would just have to understand”…

  The drive out of town was so peaceful that her anger toward what Josh had done seemed to be subsiding. She had forgotten how beautiful this side of Florida really was.
  She wondered who the owners of this Ranch were, and if they minded people just traipsing on their property, but figured it must be o.k. or Josh wouldn’t have asked them to come.
  Jessica broke the silence in Deedra’s thoughts.
“were did you meet him Mom”?…
“I met him at work” she cautiously said..
“Is he your boyfriend”? she questioned.
“Oh No.. No he’s not…just someone I know”…Deedra answered quickly
“well he acts like he is”…Jessica chimed in yet again
“Well, he’s not Jessica“…“look“… “Why don’t you two just sit back now and enjoy the ride”…“o.k.”?
  Not wanting to have to answer any more questions from her girl’s, she was already nervous enough as it was.
   It had taken her nearly twenty minutes just to find something she could wear out to a ranch, she only had two pairs of jeans to her name, and she hadn’t worn them in so long that they were a bit snug around the waist, she searched for a T-Shirt of some sort to wear, but found that all she had were the ones she used to clean in, and they were stained to the max. She finally picked out a simple flowered silk shirt that had went to one of her skirts. The only shoes that would fit for the country was a pair of black Victorian boots with a low heel that she had bought to go with another favorite dress.…but, the outfit would have to do.

   Seemed like nearly 40 minutes they had been on the road when they finally arrived at the mouth of the next road they were suppose to take. Deedra was met with total surprise when she saw the large wooden sign to the left of their car, reading in big block letters “McKENZIE RANCH”, with a smaller “M BAR R” insignia below it.
In her wildest dreams she never would have imagined that Josh worked for his own families ranch. It had never dawned on her when he said he worked on a ranch, she just figured he was a “ranch hand”..

  The hard dirt road that she was on now seemed to take forever as well, so many bends and winding to the road. A single wide dirt path cut around trees, ponds and a larger pond/lake.
   She passed another small dirt road and a wood sign that read in big letters “BUCK’S PLACE”, but could not tell where the road led off too, it was much to secluded to see anything past the mouth of it.
  It seemed close to another mile, when she saw yet another road leading off the main path, a sign on it that read “DEACON McKENZIE”.
  As she passed that road she could faintly make out a house in the background, a huge house, she thought that it must go with this driveway.

  Finally after several more bends in the road, she came across yet another side road. They were finally there. The sign said “JOSH McKENZIE”. She turned the car on to this road, only to find that yet again it was also a small path dirt roadway.
 Lastly she could see the house as she took the car through yet another bend in the road around a large pond that sat just feet in front of the house.

 “Man I can’t wait to tell everyone about this at school” Jessica screamed out as she departed the car before Deedra had even taken the Silver Lexus out of Drive.
” this is way cool”…”look at this house“.. ”wow, Casey look, look at the horses“.
Casey yelled out to her sister to wait up…

  Deedra was in amazement at the size of this house they had stopped in front of..
   It was huge. A massive Blue with white accents, two story ranch house with a wrap around porch.

   She still wasn’t sure about all of this, why on earth she was here. She should have just told the children “NO”. The worst of it all, the children had already met up with Josh’s boys, Darrin and Dusty, and were running down to see the horses, leaving Deedra to stand there by herself, and increasingly become more nervous waiting on Josh to come out from where ever he was hiding.
  “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this”…Deedra asked as he was walking toward her..
“Would it have made much difference if I had”? Deedra had no answer for that, just trying desperately to hold her composure, and not let him know how really odd she was feeling by being here. She wished she could turn and run right now, go home, back were she was safe. Behind the closed doors of her own home. But, she was here now, and needed to make the most of it and not let him know how anxious she was feeling.

    Josh played the perfect Host, showing her around the house. It was beautiful, though not perfectly tidy. There was a fireplace in the living room. One in the Family room and one in the Master bedroom. The Master bedroom, Josh’s room, was extremely large, with a four poster bed. So manly looking, and yet decorated smartly, as though a woman had designed it.
It smelled of the scent of Josh.

  That scent, one of the things about him that bothered her most. It was a sweet musky smell, smelled it when he entered the restaurant, smelled it in the dreams she had of him.

  The anger that she had felt toward him on the drive out was now all but gone, she was actually feeling more comfortable around him. She still didn’t like the idea that he used the children against her, but, she decided that at the appropriate time she would tell him never to do something like that again.
  She darn sure didn’t like the thought of being alone with him, either.. but so far, he had done nothing out of the ordinary to make her feel afraid of him.

  The more time he spent with her, the better he liked it. He took her down to the horse barn then to the calf barn. She laughed at his jokes, she talked to the calves in a little girls voice that was so endearing. He chuckled at himself at how cute she really was. It made him want her even more.
  He wanted so badly to touch her, grab her up in his arms and kiss her. It was all he could do not too. He had too.

   “Hey…lets go for a ride” Josh interrupting her thoughts.
“What”…“Oh No“…“what about the kids”.. she stammered trying to find reasons why they shouldn’t go.
“Kids will be fine, My boys know this ranch like the back of their hands”…he answered.
“I really don’t want to leave my girls alone, what if something happened”…her voice becoming worried..
“Oh come on the kids will be fine, we won’t be gone long”…”I want to show you the Ranch”…

  Before she even realized what she was doing, she was watching Josh saddle up the horses for the ride. The larger horse was a black and white paint, beautifully designed features across the sides of him, Josh told her his name was Tanker. He had been Josh’s favorite horse, a gelding, the only one he had rode for years. The horse that he was saddling up for her, Josh said was Maggie. She was a sweet young girl of 3, with red splashes of color mixed against her white hair.
   Deedra was fully enjoying the ride, and she was feeling more comfortable around Josh as he explained every piece of land they covered and what it meant to him. His stories were full of wonderful memories that he had been fortunate to be apart of, stories that most people would never see let alone live.
  The Ranch land was large and beautiful with it’s landscape of trees, fencing and ponds sprinkled through out its lush green surroundings. Beautiful large Oaks and Pines all around with scattered Palmetto Patches through out.


  Riding past his Father’s homestead, Josh relayed yet another story of his Father and Mother’s meeting. Deedra imagined her as a young bride coming to live in her new home, and how magnificent of a home it must have been to her back in those days. She watched Josh as he spoke of his parents, especially of his mother, and could see in his eyes how much he truly admired and loved her.
  
   He was truly different in so many ways than what she would have ever thought him to be. He was still arrogant and domineering as far as she was concerned, too over-powering, way to sure of himself.. and yet he had a softer, almost boy like quality to him that she doubted many people ever saw. There was a charming boy with big bright flashing eyes that immerged when he spoke of his childhood and his family. It was truly an endearing quality.

  “Maybe he wasn’t as bad as she thought he was”…she thought to herself as they road steadily into the back drop of the Ranch…
“but, a relationship with such a man is unthinkable”…”I am not ready to even try”…She argued to herself.
“I made a promise to Craig…I plan on keeping it till I die”…

“what ya thinking about”…Josh breaking into her thoughts…
”Oh nothing…just enjoying the ride, it‘s beautiful here”…
feeling a little startled by his voice…
Josh nodded in agreement, then going right into yet another sweet story about his past.

  Listening intently, looking out over the vast area of land she didn’t even notice when Josh stopped his horse. Deedra turned her horse back around to see Josh was standing next to his horse.
 “Let’s give em a break Sunshine”…..

 Deedra’s heart immediately quickened, her pulse rising from the position she was in out there in the middle of all this land.
   Nervousness taking over within her.
 “Stop here”?…she thought….
”Out here” she spoke out, just above a whisper.

  “Come on down Deedra”…the voice low and husky, only making her even more apprehensive, his voice made her feel that shiver down her spine again, the one he always made her feel.
 She by no means wanted to get off this horse. To afraid of what would happen when she did. The two of them alone, out in the woods, her heart was racing rapidly at the thought.

  Josh reached out his hand to help her, and she hesitantly took it and dismounted the horse. Every signal that could go off in Deedra’s brain was bleeping harder than they ever had, caution flags were raising up all around her. Yet, even with knowing better, she dismounted anyway. Only to land just inches away from him.

    Without so much as a word from him he pulled her into him, his large arms holding her body tightly against his.

  She started to break free, without really fighting. Trying to push back away from him, then struggled a little when she couldn’t. He was too close to her. This could not be allowed.
  Her heart up in her throat., suddenly very afraid. She couldn’t catch her breath. The scent of him filling the air around her.
   She didn’t realize the struggling she thought she was doing to break free, was only in her mind. In actuality she wasn’t trying to get loose at all…
   Her face was turned up to his, looking directly in his eyes. Trying to focus on were the black pupil ended and the deep dark brown of the eye color itself began.
 “Josh, No” she started to say.
     Josh brought his lips to hers, softly he barely touched the words in her mouth away. Just a slight brush of a kiss. He put his right arm behind her head, allowing the left one to move to the small of her back to hold her tightly against him.
 His lips brushed hers softly again. This time, she tried to bring her arms up to push him back. He held her tighter still. Putting his fingers deep within her golden curls. Holding them tightly.
  This time when he bent his face in to kiss her, he kissed the soft full lips hard, demanding her mouth. She tried to move her face away from him, to not allow this kiss to happen.
But, it was happening.
“Josh”, she muttered…
“Shhh”, ”Don’t say it Deedra”.
  He took his hand from behind her head, reached up to his own head and removed the well worn white cowboy hat , letting the long black mane to flow down around his shoulders.

  She could have stopped him, could have pushed him away. Knew better than to allow him to touch her….But, she didn’t seem to have the power to control her own emotions and fight him off and away from her. The fear and the fright seemed to have taken control of her.

  His kiss became more urgent, harder, deeper…and Deedra found herself melting against his strong arms and allowing his lips and hers to meld together as one. Her mouth was now searching his as urgently as his was hers. Her breath quickened.
   She held tightly to him, thinking that she might faint, her heart was pounding hard in her chest.
   It had been a very long time since she had been with a man, and never remembered a kiss feeling quite like this, and a need, a want, shining through and over powering her intelligence and what was or wasn’t right about this situation..

   Before her mind could even comprehend the movements, Josh laid her down slowly in the tall blanket of grass, feverishly he kissed her lips, her neck, her shoulder blades. Any part of her that was not covered by her shirt. Lightly he bit at the soft fabric against her breast. Searching out the nipple beneath the contents of her bra and shirt. Nipping the bud with only enough pressure for her to feel it between her legs.
  Never had she experienced such feelings welling up inside of her, never felt her body pound like it this, the sound, the thump of the beat of her heart. The unmistakable ache. She closed her eyes, focusing in on the new feelings she was experiencing.
 It was scaring her that he could control her body like this….
    There was no judgment left, no reasons as to why this must stop, only a hot burning desire filing up her mind.
  The sensations he was giving, she was sure he was going to destroy her….
   
   At first his touch to her skin was gentle, almost like she was a small flower. What he really wanted was to devour every inch of her as quickly as he could.
   Patience, desperately trying to be patient.
He had to make her wait, had to make her want, to turn on the charm, give her more than she has ever had. Make her want him more than she has ever wanted anything. He had to make her his.

  Carefully as though she would break, he masterfully took each piece of clothing off and tenderly kissed and manipulated the areas left exposed, another nip here or there with his teeth to the soft flesh, allowing his hair to touch and feel everything his hands and mouth were tasting. She was so beautiful to him, soft and innocent and yet, sensual.
  The peach colored skin of her body glowed where the sun shone on it. Beautifully naked laying there before him.
Everywhere he touched felt like fire under his fingers..
   He touched each breast, marveling at their shape, he let his tongue lick each one slowly, careful to cover everything but the nipple itself. Deedra grabbed for his head, for him to put his mouth on her, she desperately needed him too….but he resisted her. He wanted her to feel the torture of the wait.
   Allowed the low soft sounds coming from Deedra’s throat to tell him how much stimulation each area of her body needed,
 He teased and tortured…and made her want this more than anything she had ever wanted before. He needed to hear her beg for him to do more…
    Moving his hands down to her thighs, he carefully opened her legs. At first, she resisted. Her thighs hard and rigid against his hands being there.
  She tried to remove his hands.. but he brushed her hands away and laid that back down beside her. Gently he probed in to the silkiness of her with his fingers. Moving them in and out of the soft flesh, feeling the slick, wet, pulsating heat intensify.
  He didn’t want her to have a release just yet, but he wanted her to be as alive and free as she could ever have been in her life.
     Bringing her hips up a little, holding her up with his strong hands, he brought his face down to between her thighs. Slowly, methodically he tongued the sweet wetness lightly, the feeling even more intense for her.
   Deedra tried to move back away from his grasp, but he held to her firmly. Driving his tongue in and out of the wetness with more pressure. Lightly licking upward on the inner walls, then circling, then back down… Repeating it over and over several times more.
   When he was sure she was going to burst at any moment, he started back up her body to her mouth, demanding her to kiss him and slowly flickered his tongue to tickle her all the way back down her body to were he had just been.
  Her hips were moving with his tongue movements now, her breath quick, her moans low. He knew he was winning the battle over her.
   It wouldn’t be long before she would finally beg for what he knew she really wanted, needed.
  Working his tongue harder against the sweet spot, allowing his tongue to encircle her flowering hood over and over, this time, he would wait until her hips started to thrust up before he would stop.
He smiled at himself as the sounds from her throat became even more intense.
   He put his large hands on her breast, lightly pinching them as he devoured her., with harder pressure from his tongue against her flesh. Deedra’s legs were almost up to her chest, her body rocking with the overwhelming feelings he was sending through her like an electrical charge.
  Listened for her, patiently waiting….though the pulsating manhood between his legs was trying to desperately make him loose control of the situation and just take her.
 “Please…please…” she whispered ”Please Josh”…
“You want me”?? You sure?…He teased her …already knowing the answer…
“Oh God Josh“….the words were fumbled, but he heard them.
   Josh brought her legs down from her chest and turned her over on her stomach with one fast flip then raised her hips, she didn’t know what he planned on doing in this position yet, she didn’t argue or fight about it or try to move from this strange new situation he put her in…nothing…not a word…all he heard was her moaning for him…
  He wanted to just shove it in , but had enough thought left about him to realize that he was a large man in that department, she may not have had a man of his size.
  He started slowly, easing his way in to make room for himself, allowing the head to be inserted and brought out several times, then putting a little more in and then pulled himself almost all the way back out, till he was sure she was as wet as possible. He thrust back in, all the way, this time with force…
  The moment he thrust himself all the way in she exploded , the sound coming from her echoed through the wooded area. Then a low growl sound came from her throat, she was grabbing at the grass beneath her with her hands.
   Thrusting himself deeply in to her, pulling out and then thrusting all of himself back in again. He watched her body, her face as four more climax‘s took hold of her, before releasing his own life blood .. leaving her body silent and drained.