Faeid
Aurora Knight

"I think that people who can't believe in faeries aren't worth knowing. I just think that alternate realities make you a good writer. If your work is any more than one dimension, you believe in faeries."
—Tori Amos

Of all the minor creatures of mythology the fairies are the most beautiful,
the most numerous,
the most memorable in literature.
        —Andrew Lang

This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, human and otherwise, are imaginary, excepting only certain of the fairy folk, whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof.
—Neil Gaiman


Faeid (Fay-d)—Humans or Faeries that bridge the gap between the races that were together long ago.






Introduction

Twenty-three. Can you believe it? I'm twenty-three years old. How much have I been through in twenty-three years? Okay, allow me to first name the cases in which I came close to death.

1. Incarceration
2. Beheading
3. Ritual sacrifice (cult of wannabe Aztecs. Don't ask. Please. Lets just say that it was something about Mictlantecuhtli, the Aztec lord of the dead, and leave it at that.)
4. Shooting
5. Shooting
6. Shooting

Notice the three shootings at the end. Well, actually, that six right there isn't all of them, but it's the most important. But anyway, about the shootings.
What is it with guns these days? Okay, the usual justification for shooting someone is self-defense. But why where you carrying a gun in the first place, you dumbass?
I guess you're probably wondering, 'what line of work does this woman do so that she is constantly almost getting pieces of her body severed?'
Elven.

Okay, let me say that again for those of you who don't understand.
E-L-V-E-N.

Well, that's not exactly my job, you know, but I'll explain that in a minute.
I am an elf. Yeah, you know, creatures normally perceived by ignorant humans as people who are tiny with little beards and pointed shoes and pointed hats.
Ha ha. You're all sooo funny.

What do I do?

I investigate anything that threatens the grand existence of the Elven community or my kingdom.
Therefore, I am here. Still alive, and kicking. Kicking ass.
Oh, and part of Elven royalty. Oh, and, uh, mixed with Pixie. Again, don't ask.

Anyway, so, as long as there are threats against my relatives and the rest of the faery community (reminder for those tuning in at home: the 'ae' added to 'faery' is French, okay?), then I'm here to add protection. Along with others that are chosen.

Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean that I'm weak.

I do have my flaws, though.

Rule one—don't let problems get in your line of work. Especially love.








Chapter 1

If you see a faery ring in a field of grass,
Very lightly step around, tiptoe as you pass.


Shut up, Loren. Shut up now, please. You're giving me a headache, Loren. A huge headache.

"What is this? Freaking ring-around-the-rosy, Eressea?"

Bite me, you asshole.

I panted. "Don't joke about that, Loren. You know that ring-around-the-rosy is a chant about death."

Training. One of the worst things to ever do in one hundred degree weather. Even if it is guarded by a glamour so people don't unexpectedly enter.
Loren and I were standing at a grassy park next to a pond somewhere in the human place of California. Whatever. It was the closest spirit portal to go through between the physical plane and the astral plane.
I could feel sweat beading my brow as I stood there barefoot, in fighting stance, waiting for Loren to attack me. Strands of hair were falling into my face, and I resisted the urge to push them back.

Focus, Eressea, chica, focus. Watch his feet. Make sure there are no sudden movements against you. Circle slowly. Keep the staff steady. That's it, girl. There you go.

I watched Loren's feet, my eyes occasionally darting to his, watching him, making sure that I knew right when he was going to attack.
I saw the barest movement of his eyes. A flickering.

There's the bait girl. Be ready.

He struck, going for what looked like a jab into my stomach, but before he would hit my midsection, he would bring the staff upward to hit my jaw.

No way, Soldier of Royalty.

I swirled away, making it so that I did kind of like one of those twirls in ballet, but it was really so that the staff would barely miss my stomach, and then I ducked, rolling to the grass, and I tried to kick Loren's kneecap quickly, but he was too fast. He twirled the staff, and it hit my leg.

Um. Ow.

I gritted my teeth, and jumped up, grabbing my staff in the right position.

Keep your shoulders relaxed, dammit. Concentrate. You let him hit you because you didn't concentrate. He wasn't worried about hitting you, but just blocking himself. Worry about blocking yourself, not about hitting him.

I was panting lightly, watching Loren through my hair like a hawk. But my shoulders and hands were getting tired. We'd been training for damned near two hours, and I could now feel the sweat dripping from my forehead.

Loren faltered slightly, watching me carefully. "Gods, Eressea, are you getting tired? What would you do if someone attacked you?"

I threw down my staff, and glared at Loren. I should mention now that Loren is arrogant, beautiful, daring, and he obviously cared about me.

Ooh, pity on me.

See, I was considered ugly by Elven standards. I didn't look like the rest of them. So, they all thought I was ugly. One way to get me out of Elven territory was by making me a warrior. Pumping me up so I was a fighting machine—thanks for asking.

Do I know what I look like? Do I care?

Okay, okay. Let me share with you what is considered Elven ugliness. Blue hair, green eyes. Yes, blue hair. Well, actually, it's more sky colored blue with even darker streaks in it. And the green eyes—we wont move there, okay? And I was shorter than the rest of those in royalty. Yeah, about five inches shorter. Normally any Pixie offspring would have green hair or something like that. You'll have to excuse me. I don't understand much about genetics, so I couldn't explain it to you.

So, not many people would talk to me.

Life is unfair, isn't it?

I looked at Loren. Typical elf. Tall, silver hair, strong, silver eyes. Not my type, if that's what you're wondering.

He had this sort of triumphant look on his face.

Yes, well, excuse me.

I sat down on the grass by the pond, and looked at the water, tugging out the ponytail holder in my hair, and pushing my blue hair back from my face.

I pulled out a handkerchief that I had in the pocket of my black, silk pants, and lightly dabbed my face and my neck, wiping away the sweat.

Loren came over, and stood right in front of me. Feet planted apart, breathing hard, and giving that typical arrogant stare. "We're not done yet, Blue Hair."

I looked up at him.

Okay. Not done?

Before he could say another thing, I very casually made my hand into a fist. Typical reaction for me when they call me Blue Hair. But I did something unexpected. I retracted my arm, and punched forward. Right into his crotch.

Awww. Poor Loren. I bet you that was the worst blow in all his twenty-five years.

He gave me a stunned look, and fell right next to me, giving a pained expression, and grabbing his…uh…self to lessen the pain.

Without looking at him, I said, "Now we're done, Loren."

"That was uncalled for, Eressea." Loren's voice was filled with physical pain.

I looked at him then, arching what I knew was a dark blue eyebrow. "Was it? Wasn't it you who taught me to never let your guard down?"

"Didn't I also teach you never below the belt unless necessary?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, this was necessary. I didn't feel like fighting anymore."

Loren stood up. Oh, I should mention that he stood up painfully. Well, he should be glad that I didn't hit there with the staff. Otherwise some things would have to be removed, and he would no longer be of any use as a future consort.

"You can't just stop, Eressea. Especially if this was a real situation."

"Well it wasn't. I've been in real situations, dammit. I've almost died in my share of them. I got out just fine."

Loren crossed his arms. "Arrogance isn't a good thing when it comes to fighting. With that last blow to your stomach, you did well by blocking me. But you were way too arrogant with the fact that you weren't paying attention to my movement when you came to kick my knee. You need to be ready for anything, Princess Eressea." At my glare, he added, "Yes, princess. You may be a warrior, but you still have royal blood. No matter what, if anything happened to you, you would still be Royal. If you died in battle, those fighting alongside you will be punished for not protecting you."

I looked away. "I know that."

"If you know that, then you know what you have to do."

I glared at him from under the sheet of light blue hair. "I told you that I don't want to train, Soldier of Royalty."

Loren looked at me for a moment, probably stunned that I had used his formal name since this was training day, he was my guard, and we were good friends—uh—normally, at least.

All of a sudden he threw his staff out into the lake. Beyond the bounds of the glamour. The glamour I was keeping up.

I gasped at the sudden shock wave that went through my mind because the glamour shattered. And we were outside. In plain view. An ugly girl with blue hair and fierce green eyes, and a guy so beautiful it made your heart stop.

I glared at Loren. "You know what, Soldier of Royalty, you try keeping up a glamour and fighting at the same time."

Loren didn't smile. "Glamours aren't my job, Eressea."

Oops. Pounding headache. It doesn't feel at all good when you're trying to conceal a huge surrounding area and something like someone's staff goes and shatters it. Pisses me off. And it makes you feel kind of like you'd been drinking the night before, went to bed, and woke up with a huge hangover.

I rubbed my temples. "I don't care what your job is. All I'm saying is that you try fighting and keeping up a glamour."

"Princess, showing a weakness is also never a good thing."

My head snapped up. "I don't give a shit. Stop giving me lectures on arrogance and weakness. I. Don't. Care. And stop calling me princess while you're at it. You know and I know that the one night fling my mother had with a pixie was not intended to get her with child."

He stepped forward, and I stood up quickly.

He reached for my shoulder, but stopped himself. "Eressea, you are a princess. No matter your father. Within the elven kingdom, all children are precious. Despite one's illegitimacy."

I stared at him. I knew that my eyes where fiercely green. "I want to go home now, Loren. Please."

Loren looked at me, his eyes softening. "Okay, Eressea. I'll take you home."



                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~
"Well, Princess Eressea Glora of the Royal Aratar Elves of the Kingdom Ela-Ishtel. Pleased to finally lay eyes upon you."

I closed my eyes temporarily at the voice I heard at my back. I'd personally never met him. But he had met with my mother and stepfather, and I'd heard their conversations in the garden.

What were those conversations constantly consisting of? Death, blood, war. Actually, I think that Lord Avanthar might have an addiction to all three of those things. Gasp! Maybe he's a vampire!

Okay, okay, okay. So I'm cutting it a bit close, aren't I?

I disliked him already.

I turned around. Lord Avanthar had black hair to go with his pitch black eyes. He was very broad, and tall. Muscular, obviously, from many battles. Of course, he would be in battles. He had a slight scar on his eyebrow, which was now raised fatuously.

Not that he wasn't handsome, mind you. He was. But more along the lines of too dangerous to handle. At least in my book.

Lord Avanthar was around twenty-five, I think. Maybe twenty-four. Faery time, of course. All of the ages that I know are by the fae time standards. Which, by the way, are much slower than humans. It's like that because we don't live on the same plane as humans. But one parallel. Twenty-five years could very well be two hundred and fifty years human time—give or take, of course. So, in applying that to Lord Avanthar, Loren, and me, we're old, aren't we? In human years, I mean. Damn…

But Lord Avanthar's young age in this fae time standard didn't change his obvious look of great authority and importance.

Well, of course he would be. Lord Avanthar was a dark elf. There weren't any actual royalty in the kingdom ruled by dark elves. There were just people of great importance who decided on the good of the people or the kingdom.

Avanthar, therefore, would be considered equivalent to royalty but not exactly royalty. Not like in Ela-Ishtel.

Fancy that.

I nodded regally, closing the book that I'd just been reading. "Lord Avanthar Den-Hirion of the Kingdom Draelond. I can't say that it's pleasant to see you."

He smiled slowly, as if expecting my answer. "Well, Princess Eressea, I'm quite surprised that you give such a negative remark to someone whom you've never met before."

His voice was getting to me. It was like silk. It seemed to roll over your body. Kind of like that feeling you get when you're running down a deep slope on a hill or something. Men with that type of voice can't be good for you. Not even Loren has that type of voice. In a way, I kind of wish he did. Then I wouldn't be as uncomfortable as I was with stupid Lord Avanthar.

I yawned and stretched slightly, flexing my fingers. "Lord Avanthar, to what do I owe this unpleasant meeting?"

"Before I answer, your Highness, I must ask how you are doing. It is only polite to do so, and I know that it must be terribly difficult to go out amongst…well, humans, you know."

Wow. Lord Avanthar. Was he prejudice? Awww. Big, bad dark elf Lord Avanthar had a prejudice weakness.

How completely uncute.

Is that even a word?

"Yes. Amongst the humans. What is your grudge against them, my lord?"

Lord Avanthar blinked rapidly. I don't think that he expected the question.

Well, what did he expect me to say? 'Yes, the world is run by those DAMNED DIRTY APES!'

Jeez. Get real.

"Well, no, I mean…well, I just—I uh…"

I leaned forward in interest. I noticed something. I was hoping that I'd maybe imagined it or something, but there it was.

The great and devious Lord Avanthar was nervous.

Put him out of his misery. Now. "Lord Avanthar, is that sweat?"

He looked up at me in surprise. "Pardon me, your Highness? Sweat? Did you say sweat?"

I quickly reached out, and ran my finger along his forehead before he drew back sharply.

"It is sweat. Why on earth are you nervous?"

Lord Avanthar straightened.

Oops. Ladies and gents, I think I just hit a pressure point.

He laughed arrogantly. Well staged, Lord Avanthar. Point for you. "Of course I'm not nervous. I don't get nervous."

"Your bodily secretions betrayed you."

"No they didn't. I ran from the river bank here."

"You weren't sweating when you came in."

"Yes, I was."

"No, you weren't."

"Maybe you just weren't looking hard enough."

"Well, maybe because it was non-existent."

"Your Highness…"

"Yes…?"

I let my voice trail off. We'd been giving excuses back and forth, and Lord Avanthar was getting on my nerves. Hmm. Maybe I'm just picky that way, you know?

"I didn't come here to argue with you."

I crossed my arms. "Then why, Lord Avanthar Den-Hirion, did you come here?"

He straightened arrogantly. "I've come to ask your consent to be my consort," he replied.

I blinked rapidly, looking at him. It was then that I did something very childish. I let out a scream so loud that it echoed through the walls of the castle, and then I fainted.









Chapter 2

Every time a child says, “I don’t believe in fairies” there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead.
James Matthew (Peter Pan, Act 1)

Well, apparently I was on a cold floor. Felt like stone actually. With someone touching my hand.

I slowly opened my eyes.

Lord Avanthar was kneeling next to me.

I looked at him wide-eyed for a moment, and then rolled away, saying, "Get the hell away from me!"

This was ridiculous. I was a warrior. And Lord Avanthar had reduced me to nothing but a screaming child.

Needless to say, Avanthar looked stunned. Not that I blame him. It wasn't every day that a girl screams when a perfectly gorgeous guy asks her to marry him—Elf or no.

He looked at a loss for words, actually. Apparently, I don't think that anyone had ever turned down Lord Avanthar. Or screamed because they had been asked to have a sort of commitment to him.

"Princess Eressea, I do not understand."

Well, so much for being a ruthless dark elf, you fool.

I pushed my blue hair out of my face. "Of course you don't understand. And I'm not going to explain it to you. Lord Avanthar Den-Hirion of the Kingdom Draelond, your answer to being my consort is most definitely a no."

I picked my book off the ground from where it had fallen, and walked away.

You're probably wondering why on earth I said no. Especially since Lord Avanthar was so good-looking and all. Well, excuse me if I didn't want to be the wife of a man who only thought about fighting and killing people. Oh, and besides, my only sole purpose to him would be to screw him and provide heirs. Not a nice way of putting it, but it's true, now isn't it?

Well, I think that's the reason. It has to be. I don't know Lord Avanthar. Well, I know of him enough to know that he's obviously a ruthless asshole. He's probably one of the most feared elves on this plane.

Before I could get far, Loren appeared in front of me, looking ready to kill.

"What is it? Did he hurt you?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "No. He didn't hurt me."

"Then why was there a loud scream, Eressea?"

"Soldier of Royalty, it is my impression that to call a princess by a tone so informal is considered both bad manners and a disrespect of the royalty that stands before you," Lord Avanthar said behind me.

I turned slowly, giving Lord Avanthar a show of my blazing, angry green eyes. "Lord Avanthar, Loren is my guard, and as such he will be treated with respect. Only I can tell him what he can and cannot call me."

Lord Avanthar looked stunned, but he quickly recovered, and bowed. He took my hand and kissed it, and I tried not to cringe. He straightened. "I'm sorry Princess Eressea. I will not challenge your authority in this kingdom."

"Damn straight, " I muttered.

Lord Avanthar gave me a strange look. Almost like he was struggling to understand me. I think that I've been spending too much time walking around humans. Loren has too. I'd spent literally years in the human world (human time, of course), so after that long of time, you tend to forget the formal speech that you were taught. I may be a princess, but I don't speak like one. I'm still actually trying to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

So, in essence, everyone else speaks formally except for the people who go out amongst humans. Like, for instance, Lord Avanthar. Still as formal as always. It's what makes him so cringe-worthy.

I eyed him for a moment, curious. "Why do you want me to be your consort? You don't know me."

"An alliance is needed between our two kingdoms. Marriage is considerable. There are no more options."

Right, Lord Avanthar. Riiight.

I looked away, hating what I was about to say—despite my theory. "Lord Avanthar, if an alliance is needed, then I'll think about it. But until then, consider other options if my answer remains the same."

Lord Avanthar bowed again, gracefully, smiling—the asshole—and walked out of the room.

I looked at Loren, trying not to cry.

Okay, truth. I didn't want to be stuck with Lord Avanthar. Actually, I would have loved to pick my own consort. There's got to be something about falling in love, right? You know, the big bang when you meet each other, the constant need to be around each other, and the great connection between two people. If I married Lord Avanthar, I wouldn't have that type of love because I cringed when I first heard his voice.

Gods, look at me. Talking about attraction through voices.

Loren was looking at me strangely, anyway.

"What's wrong, Loren?"

He looked off the way Lord Avanthar had glided off to, and said, "You might have just given him the answer that he wanted."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"For the Lord and Lady's sake, Eressea, you practically agreed to marry one of the most dangerous elves there is. How do you know that you're not part of some sort of devious plot of his against our kingdom?"

I looked at him. He could be right actually. Dark elves are famous for being devious and Lord Avanthar was definitely that devious. Besides, maybe he meant to trap me. By getting me to say yes, I mean.

"I trust your judgment, Loren. Do you think that Lord Avanthar would pull off something like that?"

Loren leaned in close, as if he thought someone was listening. His face was an inch from mine. For a moment I thought that he was going to kiss me, but then I thought, this is Loren, for Goddess' sake.

"Eressea, I just think that him asking you for your hand in marriage is suspicious. It is rare for a dark elf to marry out of their own clans. The ally thing is bullshit. Dark elves don't have allies. If the decision were up to me, I'd send a spy."

His silver eyes were hard with determination. Turning the color of steel. He put a hand on my shoulder.

"You be the one to go."

My eyes widened, but I didn't move. "A spy? What is this, Mission Impossible? Elves don't spy unless it's absolutely necessary."

Loren nodded. "Yes, Eressea, I know that. But I think that it's better to be safe than sorry, right? You don't know Lord Avanthar. We've both heard his reputation. There is no exaggeration when it comes to fighting in battles. So there is definitely no exaggeration when it comes to Lord Avanthar. Besides, I don't think that I'd like it much if Ela-Ishtel was taken over by the dark elves."

"But I don't know how to spy."

"All you need to know for spying is to lay low. Don't bring attention to yourself. Always have a glamour up. I think that you're really the only elf I've seen with blue hair. Make it black. That goes for your eyes to. I'm going to find a woman dark elf from the elven nobles. You can take her place. Look like her."

"What will you do with her?"

Loren grinned sheepishly. "I hadn't thought of that. I wont hurt her, Eressea."

I nodded. "I trust you, Loren. When will all of this be arranged?"

Loren ran a hand through his waist length silver hair. "Tomorrow night. Lord Avanthar leaves tomorrow afternoon, so you'll be able to spy on him when you get there. I'll tell their Majesties that you went on leave in the human world for two weeks. They'll frown at the fact that I didn't come with you, but I'll tell them that it was to achieve a higher level of balance, and to think about the marriage proposal, for that matter." He looked at me, and must have noticed my doubtful expression. "Can you do this, Eressea? Our kingdom may depend on it."

I breathed. "Well, Loren, as the humans say, you can do anything you put your mind to. I'll try not to muck it up."

Okay, I was nervous. When I get more nervous, you don't want to see that. It is an ugly display of me wringing my hands and biting my lip.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?








Chapter 3

The faery beam upon you,
The stars to glisten on you,
A moon of light
In the noon of night
Till the firedrake hath o’er gone you.
Ben Jonson

I looked at the noble dark elf that Loren had brought back with him—that included her black horse. He laid her gently on the grass by the lake, and I had the chance to look at her.

Well, she was unconscious, of course. Darkly beautiful. Straight, perfect nose, dark, thick eyelashes, pale skin. It went well with her hair color. Gave her the more exotic look.

Since her eyes were closed, I didn't get to see her eye color, but judging from the look of her skin and hair and face, they were probably glittering, obsidian black.

I looked at Loren. "What did you do to her?"

Lauren blinked twice. "Well, I didn't hit her or anything. I simply slipped a sleeping potion in her drink. Lord Mena's potion. She should be out for a few days."

"Lord Mena? You went to him?"

Lord Mena specialized in death potions, you know. Not really my cup of tea. Besides, when I think of Lord Mena, I think 'rat' for some reason. Not just because he looks like one, but also because he has the personality of one—slinky and too curious. Whenever I see him, I want to cringe. He lives on the outskirts of Ela-Ishtel. Not allowed in the kingdom because Lord Mena is specifically known for betrayal. If the price was right, he'd betray you in a second.

He shrugged. "Best I could do on short notice. Jeez, Eressea, stop being so goddamned squeamish, and hurry up with the glamour before morning."

I glared at him, but reached out to touch her face, feeling the texture, the lines, and the features. I felt over the slope of her nose, the creases under her eyes, I felt down her arms, mostly patting her skin, just to get the length right. She would be about five inches taller, and I needed to become that tall. First, I took on the shape of her body—that was the easier part, but the face was going to be more difficult. I closed my eyes, and imagined her face and shape becoming mine. Taking over my features, and melding them into hers.

When I opened my eyes again, Loren was staring at me. Intently, actually.

"What is it? Oh, gods. The features didn't come out lopsided did they? Or maybe co-dominant? They're co-dominant, aren't they? I did it in kind of a rush."

I was fretting, and I knew it. Loren grabbed my hands. "It's perfect, Eressea. I just keep forgetting how good you are at glamours. Even your voice sounds like hers. You're a genius."

I breathed out slowly. "You know that I'm stressing, Loren. You'll just have to excuse me. What's her name again?"

"You're excused, Princess. And her name is Ki'Leana Nis'tai of the high keth'enai of the nobles called Sear. The same keth'enai that your Lord Avanthar is from."

I glared at him. "He is not my Lord Avanthar, dammit, and where did you get that information about what keth'enai she was from??"

He shrugged. "Listening in on a conversation outside the gates of Draelond."

I breathed out slowly. "Sure you were." I paused, looking at Ki'Leana. "Please tell me she's wearing something under that robe. And if she isn't, that you brought her clothes."

Loren just shrugged.

I grabbed his shoulder. "Dammit, Loren. I know how I'd feel if someone all of a sudden just kidnapped me, and I woke up nude or in some other clothes knowing that some stranger had changed me."

Loren stared at my fingers gripping his shoulder, and then looked at me. His silver eyes were glittering wickedly, looking molten. His hair was even more beautiful, and was now the color of moonlight. And he looked ethereal.

He suddenly grinned, his cheeks dimpling beautifully. "She's got clothes on underneath, Princess Eressea. Don't worry about it."

I glared at him, and kneeled next to her again. I unbuttoned the robe she was wearing gently. She was wearing a pretty dress made of red satin underneath. The bodice was tied in renaissance fashion, and it went well with her pale skin.

I slipped on the robe over my own dress, and looked at Loren. "Okay, how do I look?"

He looked me over. "You look like her."

I nodded. "Good."

I took the reigns of the black horse, and looked at Loren. "Wish me luck, my friend. I might need it."

Loren stepped over to me. He suddenly leaned down and kissed my cheek, and then rubbed his own cheek against mine. Ooh. Um. That felt good. It was more of an intimate of touches rather than a Loren-and-Eressea-friends-forever touch. It was…romantic, kind of. But I could never imagine Loren thinking about me in the romantic sense. Especially since I'm currently comparing my looks to his.

He whispered in my ear, "Good luck, Princess."

I hugged him quickly, and mounted the horse.

Loren stepped back, and I took one last look at him and saluted. "See you in a few days, Soldier of Royalty."

With that, I lightly butted the horse with the heel of my boot, and off we rode toward the Kingdom Draelond.

Well, Lord and Lady, wish me luck. Something tells me I'm going to need it.









Chapter 4

Over hill, over dale,
Thorough bush, thorough brier,
Over park, over pale,
Thorough flood, thorough fire:
I do wander everywhere,
Swifter than the moones sphere;
And I serve the fairy queen,
To dew her orbs upon the green.
The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
In their gold coats spots you see;
Those be rubies, fairy favours,
In those freckles live their savours.
William Shakespeare (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

As I rode farther and farther over the hills and through the trees of faery land, I began to miss Ela-Ishtel.

Can you believe it?

Usually I go out into the human world or on a whole other plane to get out of the bores of Ela-Ishtel. And that includes all of the training.

But I wasn't going to go for a joy ride. The reason why I was leaving was to go spy on the dark elves for some evil inside plot for the destruction of my kingdom. How poetic, don't you think?

Nah, I didn't think so either.

Finally I got to the gates of the Kingdom Draelond. I was thinking, holy hell, what do I do, what do I do? Do I knock, or do I stay here, waiting for the guards to see me?

Allow me to explain.

I'd never been here before. But, of course, that is obvious. The thing is, we elves are pretty secretive about our kingdoms. If there was a secret knock, I didn’t know shit, so I was pretty damn screwed.

That was before someone opened the gate, pointing a staff at me. "That is a noble's robe, but state your name, and show yourself."

I pulled back my hood, and lifted my chin arrogantly. "I am Ki'Leana Nis'tai."

The soldier still had to be suspicious. It was his job. "State your status?"

"I am from the high keth'enai called Sear."

The soldier nodded, and pushed the gates open more. "Welcome home, Lady Ki'Leana Nis'tai. I am very sorry about my suspicion. There was no disrespect toward your rank, my Lady."

I nodded my head, making sure to look arrogant. Rule numero uno of being with the dark elves: always act your station. Guaranteed this Ki'Leana Nis'tai acted about as arrogant as Lord Avanthar.

Say it with me, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance. Repeat!

But to tell you the truth, this whole 'act arrogant, please' was giving me a headache. I wasn't used to looking down my nose at people. In fact, I wasn't at all comfortable with it even.

So I rode in going straight for the castle thinking, shit, shit, shit—repetitively, I might add.

I stopped at the double doors, and dismounted. A young boy about six years old came and took the reigns of the horse without looking at me or saying anything, really. I would have said 'thank you', but I had the feeling that I would have gotten a weird expression from him.

I looked at the doors, opened them, and went in, my chin held high.

As soon as I entered, a man with shoulder length red hair came forward when he saw me. I noticed that his eyes were a deep violet, and he was wearing a robe nearly identical to mine. Only it was bigger, of course. He had broad shoulders, but they didn't seem to match with his face because it was more beautiful than handsome. Of course, he didn't look the type to be called "feminine" because he was greatly masculine in his walk and the way his chin and eyes were focused.

The first words to come out of his mouth were elven. "Harani a'kaheyla de'shanuay. Deyash nek'tai."

I was silent a moment, trying to remember what those words meant. Explaining, there are different forms of elven, and sometimes elves mix them together. Especially as of late since people have been melding clans. I didn't know what type of elven mix this was exactly, but I think that he said, "I am honored to greet you. Walk with me."

Of course, he was taking my hand and smiling, so I thought, bingo. Goody for me!

But, no. It was more of a we're-involved type of taking hand. Ooh. Not good.

Someone kill me. Please!

Of course, like any actress, I took his hand, smiling.

Make sure the smile doesn't look forced, Eressea. Look relaxed. Look at ease. Everything is fine. Stress and worry later, acting now.

He led me out into the garden at the back of the castle, and sat me down on a bench. He frowned slightly, looking worried, "Ki'Leana, alen'ka menta—"

I put my hand over his, and said, "English. Speak in English. Elven is much to think about after a long ride here."

Did I mention that he had the same type of voice as Lord Avanthar? Only his didn't make me want to cringe. Actually, his suited him. Mostly because he looked halfway decent and didn't have the look in his eye like he was going to kill someone the day after tomorrow. Besides, he looked much warmer than Lord Avanthar. There seemed nothing cold about this elf. He seemed…well…happy. Where Lord Avanthar's voice was more like icy wind, his was like a warm blanket. Very sensual, yet innocent.

He nodded. "Ki'Leana, why did you leave me so suddenly the night before last?"

Uh. Errr…umm... "I had to go ride off for a while. It helps me think."

"Did you think about my proposal, ma kyela?"

Ma kyela…? My love? Did he say my love? PROPOSAL? PROPOSAL? As in…MARRIAGE?

Excuse me a second because—

GAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

He wanted to marry this chick that I'm glamouring as, and I run into her life! What if she was going to say yes? Would I completely ruin everything?

One freaking crisis after another and I'm screwed because this guy wants to marry me—well, not really me, but this person that I'm playing as—and I could screw up her life by one simple answer of 'yes' or 'no' because I don't know which answer she'd choose!

Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me, shoot me….

"Ma kyela, why is there a look of great distress on your face?" He looked hurt. Crushed, actually. Way to go, idiot. "Do you not want to be my myhidera'kai?"

No, I don't want to be your lover or wife, goddamn you. Not that you aren't one of the loveliest men I've ever seen, I mean.

He took my hand again, kneeled, and rubbed his cheek softly against the back of it, giving me tingles.

Wait, excuse that last remark. Please. I'm not supposed to get tingles for another woman's honey.

I didn't even know his name!

Okay, be sly, learn his name. "If I say yes, what would I call you by afterward?"

Yes, it was a stupid question, but whatever. It was something, right? Besides, in some kingdoms, there would be different names for each married couple as they got together. Especially if they were of different ranks. Like say, for instance—and only instance—I happened to marry Loren. After we got married, his title would no longer be called Soldier of Royalty, but something else. Something that he chose and something that the royals agreed on.

He blinked and looked at me strangely. "Teremai. The name that I've always had and the name you've always called me by."

Think quick, girlie. You're letting off that impostor vibe.

I leaned forward, lay my cheek gently against his chest, and wrapped my arms around his waist, ignoring how good it felt. "Forgive my strange behavior, Teremai. I'm so very tired, and I need some more time to ponder your proposal."

Wow. Okay, what do you think? Human Academy Award, or what? Go, Eressea! Future queen of all that is spy and fighting involved!

He stroked my hair softly. Damn he was good.

"I will give you all the time that you need, ma kyela."

Dammit. This was actually a slightly comfortable position. Just so long as there's no kissing. Kissing would lead to my concentration breaking and the glamour falling off. And I mean literally falling off. It would be kind of like candle wax, and my real face would start to appear underneath. Ew. Can you imagine?

Passion, passion, passion. Ewww! Her face is melting off!

That would kind of spoil the mood, don't you think?

Teremai picked me up off the bench so that I was kneeling next to him, still hugging him. But I'd moved so that my face was buried in the crook of his neck, and I could feel his slight pulse.

His head was rested slightly on my own, and he was still lightly stroking my hair. He brought one hand around my waist, and tightly held me.
felt Teremai thread his fingers through mine. He turned his head and smiled at me. A lock of his hair got loose from his half ponytail, and slid down onto his cheek making him look even sexier than he should.

Despite the fact that I was uncomfortable with how I was immediately attracted to Teremai when I shouldn't have been, he was very comforting. His fingers threaded through mine helped me breathe better even with Lord Avanthar staring at me and being at a table full of elves I didn't know and who would kill me in a second if they found out who I really was—despite the fact that I was a princess. Basically, if I were caught spying, it would mean that Ela-Ishtel wants to declare war on Draelond, and any excuse I make up wouldn't mean a goddamn.

I smiled back briefly. Not wanting to look anymore because he looked so beautiful by the candlelight. It enflamed his red hair slightly, making it glow. His eyes were now wholly violet, and his skin glowed a pale yellow color.

I caught Lord Avanthar's look, and met his eyes. And he looked just as beautiful then as Teremai. Both eyes were pools of black, and his pale skin shimmered.

Someone down at the end of the table raised his voice, "Why the silence, my keth'enai? Normally there is much talking among you."

Lord Avanthar looked away from me, and looked down at the speaker, grinning. I'd never seen him grin before. It was actually quite lovely. It softened his eyes, and gave him a more playful and sensuous look.

Damn…

I looked toward the speaker who was a tall, broad man with light blonde hair and golden eyes.

Okay, I don't like you.

Mother always told me something about a guy with eyes as golden as the sun setting. Don't trust them. They always stab you in the back.

A little bit of elven advice there.

Lord Avanthar spoke, laughing a beautiful laugh now. "Analalai, you make enough noise for all of us. Tell us of your journey to Tela'nokai. How are the pixies doing?"

"Their queen doesn't know what to do about the breaching of the plane there. Too many humans stumbling in. Do you think we should attack?"

I tried not to look alarmed, knowing I was failing a bit.

Dammit, Eressea, don't blow your cover. You're fine. Stay calm.

Lord Avanthar glanced at me, and then back at Analalai. He'd stopped laughing but kept his smile, his eyes darkening. "No. Leave them be. We do not think of attacks during our meal, Analalai, only of food. Now eat."

I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief, silently thanking the arrogant bastard Lord Avanthar for once having some mercy.

Thank you, you bastard, because for once you were too tired to talk about battles while eating. Enjoy your food, and let us hope that one day, I can kick your ass and drive that staff I was using with Loren the day before yesterday right into your crotch so that you are no longer of any use to any female.

Ooh. That's a lot of anger, isn't it?

I almost forgot that my hand was still holding Teremai's hand. He lightly squeezed my hand, and I looked at him.

Which was a mistake, you see.

Yeah, because he looked better than he had before. Some of his hair came around to lightly rest on his shoulders, and the chin length bangs rested lightly on his left cheek. His lavender eyes were sparkling with laughter, and making him glow even more. And at that moment, I wanted him. Wanted him as my own, and not as this Ki'Leana's. But as mine. Princess Eressea Glora of the Aratar Elves.

And I couldn't have him. He didn't belong to me.

Lord and Lady, why me?






Chapter 6

The voice I hear this passing night was heard
In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
Through the sad heart of Ruth, when sick for home,
She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
The same that oft-times hath
Charmed magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.
John Keats (Ode to a Nightingale)

Blah, blah, blah. Babble, babble, babble. That's all that Analalai did. Talking about battles and how he miraculously beat fifty men from entering the bridge at Draelond some ten years ago.

Well, good for you, you idiot.

I was bored at dinner, and I'd only been eating a total of ten minutes.

The look on Lord Avanthar's face told me that he was loosing his patience as well. Okay, no longer smiling, skin still shimmering, eyes deep pools of black, hair tinted blue; he looked gorgeous, but extremely bored.

Not that I blame him with all the crap that Analalai was saying. Gods, did the man ever just shut up?

I glanced at Teremai, and he was sitting with his elbow on the table, and his head rested slightly in his hand. He looked bored too. Jeez.

Does no one have the courage to just tell him to shut the hell up? Why on earth would anyone want to endure this excessive babbling about nothing?

Teremai released my hand, and ran his fingers up along my arm. I looked at him, and he smiled at me, his violet eyes sparkling. I smiled back, feeling slightly ill at ease because he wasn't mine. He was attracted to this person I was playing. Not me.

I looked up and found Lord Avanthar gazing at where Teremai's hand rested lightly on my shoulder with a look that might have been jealousy, but I'm not exactly sure. He's very good at hiding his emotions.

Another point for you, Lord Avanthar.

Lord Avanthar felt my stare, and met my eyes briefly. He blinked, and then shifted his eyes over to Analalai.

"Analalai," he called. "There is no reason for all of this babbling. We will all retire for the night."

Thank you again, Lord Avanthar, for shutting the idiot up.

Analalai didn't say anything but he looked slightly perplexed.

Serves you right for boring everyone to the point of total exhaustion.

I got up, and Teremai's hand fell away from my arm. Only…I didn't know where to go. Where the hell was my room?

Teremai stood up with me. "I will walk you to your room, ma kyela."

I nodded. I would have nodded gratefully because I didn't know where the hell it was, but it would have given something away.

Teremai took my hand and kissed the knuckles lightly. Then he threaded his hand through mine, and started walking up the stone steps.

I watched his feet, staying silent, making sure to notice the slight turns his feet made so that it looked like I at least knew somewhere to go.

Finally, we reached two thick wooden doors, and Teremai turned to me…

And he hugged me.

God, how awkward would it be if he kissed me, and BAM! Glamour melts off like freaking candle wax. Fuuun.

I gently laid my head on his strong shoulder and sighed, absentmindedly rubbing my cheek against his black robe.

He breathed in the scent of my hair, and asked, without letting me go, "Ki'Leana, would it be presumptuous of me to ask to come in?"

I could feel my eyes widen. Come…in…? Like, come into the room? Meaning…? All of that? You know, all of that…?

I sort of pulled back, which made Teremai raise a surprised eyebrow. Cover it up, girl. Cover it up.

"Maybe some other time, Teremai. I'm just really tired."

He smiled then, one cheek dimpling, giving off this sexy and yet very pure, innocent vibe.

I don't even think that he even tries to be sexy. He just…is. And I think that he's actually as innocent as he looks.

He leaned forward and kissed my cheek. I almost breathed out deeply. No lip kissing. As much as I want to, I mean. None. Zip. Zero. Nada.

I smiled at him charmingly, and opened the door so I didn't have to look at him anymore because I knew that I really was about to kiss him. Or maybe it's just me being deprived of really kissing anyone because I wasn't very attractive.

I didn't even bother to look around the room. I saw the bed. I saw the sheets. I was tired. I lay down. Go me.

It was the morning after that that I woke up to screaming.








Chapter 7

God defend me from that Welsh fairy,
Lest he transform me to a piece of cheese!
William Shakespeare (The Merry Wives of Windsor)


Someone was screaming.

I mean, really screaming.

I wasn't dreaming it.

And it was coming from my own goddamned room.

I woke up thinking, bloody hell! Did my glamour come off? Am I screwed? I was very good at glamours, and had kept one up in my sleep—which is hard for most elves to do—but I'd never kept one up this long.

I pried my eyes open to look at the screaming person in my room. She had long blonde hair, a purple, renaissance fashioned dress, and her mouth was hanging wide open and screaming.

I quickly felt my face, and looked at my hands. Then I grabbed my hair and stared at it. Still black.

I grabbed the mirror on the table, and looked into it. Still had the glamour up.

So what the hell was she screaming about?

And why on earth would she want to torture me with it?

"Excuse me," I said lightly. She just kept screaming as if I hadn't talked. "Excuse me!" I screamed.

She finally stopped screaming, and looked at me, her eyebrow raised.

"Why the bloody fucking hell are you screaming so fucking loudly?"

Oops. I'd used the word "fuck" twice in one sentence. Not a good thing, mind you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The girl—yes she was a girl, probably around 11 years old, and about as tall as I was—blinked. I don't think that I should have cursed in front of her. Bad Eressea. Baaad.

Not that it could be helped. I was tired. What was the point in this girl coming into this room screaming her bloody head off? Why me? Why me?

Suddenly another woman came into the room. She had the same blonde hair that the little girl did. She looked at me, and noticed my expression.

Well, I was glaring. You know, considering the fact that I'd risen to the beautiful sounds of shrill screaming coming from about four feet away from my bed.

Did I mention that it was shrill?

One piece of black hair had tumbled into my right eye, and I pushed it back.

The woman spoke, putting her hand on the girl's shoulder. The girl, by the way, was choking back tears. "I'm sorry, my lady. This wont happen again. She was looking for her doll, and got frustrated at not finding it."

I blinked, and said, "Fine. It's fine. I'm up."

She quickly ushered the girl out, and I groaned, lying back down, and cursed about ten times before I climbed out of bed.

I straggled over the walk in closet wondering why on earth the girl chose my room to look into, and why she chose my room to scream in. Bloody hell.

I chose a black dress that was tight around the waist, and billowed out below that. It was tied up at my chest, with white peasant cloth underneath.

I brushed my…err…the long, black hair out, while looking in the mirror thinking, damn, this girl's got great skin, doesn't she?

I put the long mass of black hair up into a clip, and walked out of my…err…the room.

I heard voices around the corner, and leaned forward, trying to listen. It was Lord Avanthar, and Analalai.

"I take it she didn't accept your proposal?" Analalai was saying.

"I don’t know yet. It's still to be decided." Lord Avanthar replied.

"You do know that if you marry her, you will get both her kingdom and ours."

"I know."

Their voices faded as they walked down that corridor.

That pansy, all-black-wearing, call-me-Lord-Avanthar son of a bitch! Marry me, you rule more lands. Kill me off, you still get both. Marry another princess, you get all three. Kill her off; you get to keep that land. It all continues! It's an ingenious plan!

I mean, bad. Baaad plan. Mean Lord Avanthar, mean.

But it's still a fucking ingenious plan.

Ingenious enough to still be screwed up, I mean. Sure, I could still screw it up. That would be interesting, really. Especially considering how much I loathed Lord Avanthar, it would be a pleasure. An absolute pleasure.

I'm now laughing my inner evil laugh. Can you not tell?

I walked slowly down the stone steps, looking at my toes, until someone literally grabbed my hand, and I tripped. I fell against a broad, muscled chest, covered up by a silk black shirt, and looked up.

Teremai. And his eyes were sparkling with lavender, plum and indigo. His mouth curved into a smile, one cheek dimpling beautifully. His red hair waved loosely around his face softly. His arms were holding me tightly against him, and my hands were rested lightly on his broad chest. He was supporting me actually, if he moved back, then I would fall.

Without moving my position, I smiled up at him, and said, "Teremai. What is with this grabbing me out of nowhere?"

His smile broadened into a grin, showing off his lovely straight, white teeth. "Ma kyela, you looked like you needed cheering up. Did you hear the screaming this morning? Do you know what it was about?"

I laughed. "Of course I heard it. It was coming from my room."

His hold tightened around me, his smile fading. Ooh. This was nice. You know, how sometimes you just need to be comforted, and it's so good to have someone hold you? That's how I felt right now.

"Did something happen, ma kyela?

I shook my head. "Some little girl looking for a doll. I still don't know why on earth she would look in my room. I mean, really."

His smile reappeared, and he leaned forward. Gah! No kissing! No kissing!

I slid out of his arms, and murmured, "Amonta de' toya! We should go and eat breakfast now, shouldn't we?"

Amonta de' toya. Now that was definitely dark elven speech, thank you very much. Equivalent to "God (or Goddess) damn it".

Teremai brightened, and took my hand. Goddamn, I was attracted to him. You have no idea how much I just wanted to kiss him then. I was so close; I almost didn't care about my glamour. And that itself scared me much more than how close I'd come to being discovered.
Chapter 8

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
Albert Einstein

"You know, Ki'Leana, something is definitely peculiar about you lately. I see you smiling with Teremai, and yet you do not even like him. Was it like that way with me too, I wonder?"

I turned quickly around. I was standing in the garden, and it was near sunset, mind you. The roses and tulips surrounded the stone path I was walking on, and guess who was standing behind me.

Analalai.

Didn’t you hear me? I said, Analalai.

Yeah.

His blond hair was turned gold in the sun, and his golden eyes flared even brighter. He had a sort of lazy expression on his face, and his arms were crossed in front of his chest. He reached out his arm toward the rose bush beside him, lightly touching the petals of a red rose, but his gaze was still fixed on me.

I frowned, and said, "Pardon me?"

He rolled his eyes fatuously, pushing a strand of blonde hair out of his eye. He came closer, placing both of his hands on my shoulders.

Yuck! Icky! Disgusting!

I mean, really, Ki'Leana, couldn't you have had better taste than freaking Analalai?

Analalai's eyes bore into mine. " 'Pardon me?' That's what you say? How very interesting."

I breathed out, trying to understand what exactly was going on. "What exactly did I tell you, Analalai, that makes you speak the way you do?"

Analalai blinked, frowning. "You are getting stranger and stranger, Ki'Leana. Or maybe this whole innocence thing is just another of your acts. You are, after all, the one that acted like you were in love with Teremai just so that you could get into the high keth'enai, and when you did, you were the bitchiest of all bitches to him, and yet you still kept him infatuated with you. Enough so that he proposed to you, the poor fool. He's too damned soft. Then again, he didn't earn his place among the Keth'enai. He was born into it."

I blinked, taking it all in. Oh, so, basically, Ki'Leana—the real one—was a terrible bitch that used men to get to where she wanted to go. Pity.

I quickly regained my posture. Analalai was staring at me strangely. "Or maybe you lied and used me too."

I cleared my throat. "Why would you think that, Analalai?"

He smiled. It wasn't a good smile, you know. It was bitter. On the edge of wickedness. "Because turning men into your little fuck buddies has always been a greater pleasure of yours. I found it interesting, of course, until I had feelings for you."

I laughed then. Okay, it wasn't the actress laughing. It was actually me because that was damned funny. "Analalai," I said, grinning, "you couldn't have feelings for someone if you kissed them two hundred times, and slept with them two thousand times."

Before I could think, let alone blink, his hand swung back, and he hit me right across the face with the back of his fist.

He had actually been the only thing holding me up afterward, but he moved, and I fell onto the stone path.

Allow me to clarify. I'm not strong. I'm really not. I've had vigorous battle training. Enough to make someone bleed through their eyes, and I got some great muscles from it. But I wasn't strong enough to beat even Analalai at arm wrestling. I didn't know if I could beat him at sword fighting, but let's hope that the challenge stood somewhere in the future.

And, really, he had no right to hit me. Analalai seemed like the type to sleep with women, but never love them. And if he did have some type of feelings toward them, it would be possessive. Which was quite obvious now, wasn't it?

I glared at him from on the ground. I could feel my nose bleeding, and I struggled to keep the glamour on. You see, fighting is a lot like kissing. If you get in a fight while wearing a glamour, it's not a good thing because pain is similar in essence to passion—same thing with panic and sadness and sometimes anger. So I tried to ignore the pain, and keep up the glamour.

Analalai was then on the ground next to me, grabbing my arm. Our faces were inches apart, and I was thinking, if he kisses me, I'm going to throw up right now, goddamn it. Without warning.

"I love you, Ki'Leana, don't you see that?" He was saying fiercely.

Stay calm. Stay calm. You'll never get the gist of this or anything else if you get angry. You might loose the glamour if you get distracted. Stay focused. Try not to let the glamour down. Keep it up. Don't loose it.

So I labored my breathing, and said quietly, but firmly, "You don't feel love."

He shook me hard, and I was so dizzy with trying to keep my concentration, that I didn't feel it when he slapped me. I could feel a slight burning sensation, but that was it. I was concentrating too much on keeping up the glamour. But if he hit me one more time, maybe two more times, then that was it. I was going to have to give it up.

See, keeping up a glamour can make you seriously weak. Especially trying to keep it up while feeling something along the lines of what I was feeling.

After he slapped me, my head was turned to one side, my cheek burning. I could hear Analalai's breathing, and my own.

He didn't care to see how much pain I was in though. "I feel love. And I know that I love you."

I placed one of my hands on the walkway, still knowing fully that he was supporting half of my body weight.

I coughed, and looked at him. "You're obsessed with me is what it is. You don't love me."

He looked at me then, his golden eyes burning. "There is no obsession. I love you so damned much that I want to hurt people. And that includes your little boy toy Teremai. No, I don't just want to hurt him, I want to kill him."

Don't cry, dammit, don't cry. If you cry, he'll see a weakness. Don't cry. "Why do you want to kill him?"

"Because seeing him touch you drives me crazy! I can't stand it anymore! You probably knew this was going to happen, didn't you, you bitch?" He pulled at the front of my shirt, and pulled me closer to him. "Didn't you?"

Holy shit, Goddess, please don't let him do anything crazy. Please.

"No," I answered softly. "I didn't know this was going to happen. I swear that I didn't want it to happen."

He made a disgusted sound, and threw me away from him. Literally threw. I landed on my left side, concentrating on keeping up the glamour because I hurt so much. I frowned with concentration, and looked up at Analalai through hazy eyes.

He straightened. "You're so weak, Ki'Leana. Weaker than you thought, in fact. The next time I see Teremai, I might just kill him. If I find out that you have deep-seated feelings for him, I'll make it so that you watch him die. I don't think that you'd like that very much, would you?"

With a last glance at me, he turned, and stalked out of the garden.

I breathed out slowly. Flinching, I braced myself on my arms, and weakly stood up, stumbling slightly, and grabbing the hedges of the bushes to keep me upright, I did this for about five feet until I got to the bench. I lay on it, trying to ignore the pain.

I'd been in plenty of fights, and gotten beat up to a bloody pulp. But never while holding up a glamour. And that made it more difficult.

I concentrated on keeping the glamour, breathing slowly in and out, and eventually just fell asleep.




Chapter 9

Do you believe in fairies? Say quick that you believe. If you believe, clap your hands!
Sir James M. Barrie

Ummm. Oh, that hurt. I want whoever is touching my jaw to stop. It hurts. No, I'm serious. It hurts.

I slowly opened my eyes. Teremai's face entered my field of vision. I was lying with my head in his lap, and he was lightly touching my cheek. Of course, I still didn't know if my glamour was up, but I'm assuming it was because he wasn't freaking out in horror at someone so ugly, so I didn't have to worry.

I didn't know how long I'd been out. But it was night now. All of the stars shimmered brightly, and Teremai was still glowing. His hair lightly flared in a halo around his head, and his eyes were a deep indigo color.

I blinked up at him, and he frowned. "Your cheek is bruised badly, ma kyela," he said.

I sighed and moved my head slightly, so that my cheek was resting lightly against Teremai's muscled thigh. I could feel the heat of his skin even through the black pants that he was wearing.

If I were really myself, I'd heal quicker because I could concentrate more on healing myself than keeping up my glamour because of the pain. But instead I didn't have the focus to do two things at once. Not to mention that it wastes my energy.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

Teremai always spoke softly. He didn't seem the type to get mad. It actually matched his name, which, in elven, meant "compassion". Good choice of names for one who came from a dark elven family.

I breathed out slowly, and murmured, "Analalai."

Gods, it hurt to talk. My jaw really hurt, actually.

I felt like the glamour was fading. I could feel it fading even as I tried to keep it up. And even as Teremai leaned over and kissed me softly.

On the lips.

I was slightly afraid, because I could feel my glamour coming off. I could no longer keep it up, because I was kissing him back.

There was no tongue involved in the kiss. It was a mere touching of lips, and it made me shiver slightly.

Teremai deepened the kiss, driving his tongue between my lips. I brought my head up off his lap, pressing my mouth harder against his, knowing full well that the glamour continued to melt off.

Teremai's eyes were closed though. I brought my arms up around his neck, pressing myself to him.

He made a slight moaning sound, and opened his eyes. Most likely seeing two bright green one's staring back.

His now lavender eyes widened, and he pulled back with a yelp, falling back off the bench on his butt, and looking at me in surprise.

I sighed and grabbed a piece of my hair. It was sky blue again. Great. Grand. Wonderful.

I looked back at Teremai, and he swallowed, his eyes still wide.

"You're…" he swallowed, making a gulping noise.

I closed my eyes and said, "I'm ugly. Go ahead and say it."

Teremai straightened himself so that he was sitting cross-legged in front of me, his eyes still wide with amazement. "I don't understand. You've kept a glamour for all this time, Ki'Leana?"

I looked down, my light blue hair brushing forward. "No. I'm not Ki'Leana. My name is Eressea Glora of the Aratar elves of Ela-Ishtel. I have been glamouring as your Ki'Leana Nis'tai for four days."

I looked at Teremai again. He'd leaned forward in interest. "Why did you glamour as Ki'Leana?"

I wasn't going to do the whole find-out-yourself gig. Teremai deserved to know the truth. Especially since he made me feel the way I did. I don't know yet if my feelings about him are good or bad with what I was trying to accomplish.

"I glamoured to spy on Draelond. To see if any sudden attacks were going to be made against Ela-Ishtel. And also—"

"Because of me."

I turned to my right and there stood Lord Avanthar.







Chapter 10
Light she was and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine
Percy Montross (Oh, My Darling Clementine)

The darkness of his clothes and hair melded in with the shadows. Even from here, I could see his dark eyes. And right now they looked like they held every single star in the universe.

Teremai stood up quickly. "My Lord, you know this lady?"

Lord Avanthar ventured five hesitant steps forward, until he was standing two feet from the bench I was sitting on. "Yes. I know Princess Eressea Glora. I asked her to be my consort, which is undoubtedly the reason why she came to spy on me so abruptly."

Teremai looked at me, and then back at Lord Avanthar. Lord Avanthar spoke sharply to him, still looking at me. "Leave now, Teremai. I would like the chance to speak with the princess of Ela-Ishtel in private."

Teremai nodded and quickly left the garden, with one glance back at me.

I lay back on the bench, closing my eyes, and not looking at Lord Avanthar, even though I knew that he'd moved closer, and was now staring down at me.

Without opening my eyes, I asked, "So, are you going to order me to be executed now? Drive a sword through my chest? Laugh while you do it?"

I felt his fingertips brush the bruise on my jaw lightly. I flinched, and opened my eyes. He didn't look like he wanted to kill me. Actually, he looked like he wanted to kiss me. He was frowning slightly, and his look was softened. I'd never seen his look softened before. I mean, he was gorgeous scowling. But this made him look more attractive somehow. His eyes were dark pools of black. Liquid. Unfathomable.

And I didn't feel the least bit like cringing. And that was even more frightening. I frowned, and didn't move. "What do you want from me, Lord Avanthar?"

He kneeled next to the bench I was laying on, and leaned over me, his own frown disappearing and his eyes looked softer, all of his features relaxed. He lightly stroked my hair, but I was still confused, so I kept my frown.

"You want to know what I want from you, Eressea?" He asked. "All I seem to want right now is you."

"Why?"

"Because you're so beautiful, and I find myself wanting you even though I shouldn’t."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are, Princess Eressea. More beautiful than you can think and more so than you can imagine."

I blinked, my eyes wide, as his lips lightly touched mine. They were warm above my own, and Lord Avanthar wasn't even deepening the kiss. It was more like a lingering that sent shivers all up and down my body.

When he pulled up, I started, "Lord Avanthar…"

He put a finger on my lips. "No more of this 'Lord Avanthar'. Call me Avanthar, Eressea."

It was then that I'd remembered his plan. Oh, yeah. I'd temporarily forgotten with that splendid kiss, all right? Not my fault. "What then? When I marry you will you kill me? Are you trying to woo me so I'll say yes?"

He blinked. "Where did you get that idea?"

"I heard the conversation you had with Analalai this morning."

Lord…err…I mean, Avanthar, groaned slightly, bending his head. "What was I supposed to tell him? That I was in love with you?"

I blinked rapidly. Did he say…did he…um…say…that? Like love? Or did he say loathe? I'm not sure that I heard right. I couldn't have heard right. That's not…possible. Is it possible? Am I going crazy? Like, literally crazy?

"Did you say…?" I started.

He looked away, seeming to concentrate on the roses behind me. Not saying anything. Both of us were both silent for a moment. Finally, Avanthar broke the silence abruptly, not looking at me. "I love you, Eressea."

I frowned waiting for the words 'I love you' to register. But they seemed to be bouncing off my brain. Hearing Avanthar say those words seemed inconceivable four days ago. But compared to Analalai, or at least what I'd seen of him, Avanthar seemed like a playful puppy to me.

I finally managed to say something. "Look at me and say it. Look at my eyes."

Avanthar looked a moment more away from me, and very slowly met my gaze. His eyes seemed tender now. If a bit frustrated. Not that I blame him, mind you. He had a right to be frustrated. Hard to please? Who? Me?

Avanthar reached out with his right hand, and lightly touched my left cheek. I kept my gaze steadily on him, eyes not moving. He did the same.

"I love you, Princess Eressea Glora."

"How? You don't know me enough."

His thumb moved lightly along my jaw line. When it touched my bruise, I tried not to flinch again. "I've watched you, Eressea. Watched you fight, watched you smile, and laugh and talk. Even from afar I couldn't help but fall in love with you."

"But we're so…different."

Avanthar's expression didn't change at all. He didn't take offense to it. Thank you, Avanthar. "We are. And I think that's part of the reason why I want you."

"Because we're different?"

"Yes."

"Can't differences create problems?"

He stilled. Oh, Eressea, you're ruining the mood, you know.

"Anything can create problems, Eressea. You just have to be able to get through them. Marry me."

My eyes widened. And this time, when he asked me, I didn't feel like screaming. I don't know yet if I wanted to say yes, but just looking at him made me not think a definite no.

"Avanthar, I…"

And there we go again. I was unable to finish because I couldn't exactly speak, you know?

Avanthar leaned down and kissed me again, this time harder than the last one. I brought my arms up and gripped his shoulders lightly. He put his arms around my waist, lightly raising me up from the bench to deepen the kiss. I could feel his own tongue touching mine, and we continued to kiss even as he pulled me into a sitting position. My eyes were closed even when he broke off the kiss. I was still clutching his shoulders, but his hands were tight around my waist, pressing me hard to him.

I finally opened my eyes, and Avanthar still had that soft expression on his face.

"Marry me," he murmured, kissing my forehead lightly. "Marry me."

I wanted to. Lord Avanthar—according to reputation—was devious, but I doubt he was devious enough to tell someone that he loved him or her and not mean it. It's a little difficult to even lie when those three little words are being used.

Gods, I can't marry him. I just can't. I'm not ready for marriage. With all the fighting I do, it wouldn't work. I don't have time to be a wife or raise kids when I have any.

I looked him in the eyes. And then I closed my eyes, looking away. "I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't."

I didn't wait to see his expression, but I pushed him out of the way, and stood up, stumbling slightly because of the wave of dizziness that hit me so suddenly.

I grabbed a hold of the side of the bench, closing my eyes. I was grateful that Avanthar didn't move to support me. Mostly because I didn't want any help. I'm not a damsel in distress, you know.

I looked up at him, and he frowned slightly. He didn't seem at all angry, just confused. "Why, Eressea? You were kissing me back. You felt something. Admit it."

I met his gaze calmly. "I felt something. But I can't marry you."

His frown deepened. "Why ever not?"

I shook my head. "Because I'm not ready to. I can't be a wife and be a protector of my kingdom at the same time."

Avanthar took a hesitant step toward me. "You can try. We can both try."

I took my hold off the bench, and stood on my own. "No. Not now. Please, Avanthar, don't tell anyone about me being here. I'll leave in the morning."

He nodded, but he still looked confused. "Put your glamour back on, Eressea. I won't tell anyone you've been here."

I closed my eyes tightly, imagining myself becoming Ki' Leana again, I didn't have the girl to touch this time, so everything had to be directly from memory. Not difficult, but difficult enough.

When I opened my eyes again, I looked to Avanthar for confirmation.

"It looks perfect, Eressea."

"Thank you."

I turned to leave, and Avanthar called my name. I turned back slowly. He looked calm. Strangely calm. I know that he was frustrated though. I think that was beginning to be a new emotion for Avanthar. Frustration, I mean.

"Leave in the morning. But will you at least think about my proposal?"

I looked at him a moment more. Four days ago, I wouldn't have even considered saying yes. When I thought about Avanthar four days ago, the first thing that would have jumped into my mind was 'ewwwww!!' or something like that. But I could see myself marrying him if I said yes. I couldn't see myself cringing at all.

So, I nodded. "I'll think about it, Avanthar."

I turned and walked away before he could say anything.

I went directly to my room, and sat on my bed, biting my fingernail. This wasn't a good thing. When I bit on my fingernail, I knew I was frustrated.

Did I love Avanthar? Not yet. Did I love Teremai? It was damned well getting there. But after tonight, I didn't know if Teremai would even speak to me. But I couldn't help the way I felt about him. Especially since I'd never really had anyone act toward me the way he did.

But it upset me that he wouldn't feel the same way. He was in love with Ki' Leana. Not me.

That was before he came bursting into my room at two o' clock in the morning.