Mundania Press LLC
www.mundania.com

Copyright ©2006 by Vicki M. Taylor

First published in 2006, 2006

All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Novels by Vicki M. Taylor

Published by Mundania Press

Crash!

Joanne jumped as a trashcan slammed into the laundry room door. “God, I wish they'd go get drunk some place else."

Sheila pulled another t-shirt out of the dryer, folded it, and placed it on top of an already growing pile of clean laundry. With comic grace she pirouetted and said, “It's another lovely Saturday night here at the prestigious Arbor Meadows. Look at the A-list people milling about.” With a flip of her hand she picked up the bottle of generic fabric softener, held it like a microphone and gestured toward the large plate glass window next to the laundry room door.

"It's a star-studded bonanza tonight, folks!"

Sadie Matthews, their long-time neighbor, sometimes babysitter, and surrogate mother, laughed at Sheila's performance. Clapping, she looked through the window at the scene Sheila referred to only to stop as fast as she started. There was really nothing to laugh about. She could see the usual drunken, brawling group of tenants letting off steam after a hard week's labor.

Joanne pushed up a sigh from deep inside. She hated this place. “Damn, I wish I could afford some place better for Joey to grow up."

Sadie picked up her laundry basket piled high with fluffy towels. “Don't we all, honey.” Sadie smiled as she put a hand on Joanne's shoulder and squeezed. “Don't we all.” Adjusting her basket against her round and generous hip, she turned to the younger women, waggled a finger, and said, “Don't ya'll stay here too long, ya here? That group out there is fixing on getting mean real soon, and I don't want ya'll anywheres near here, ya got that?"

"Yes, ma'am.” Sheila and Joanne chorused together then looked at each other and giggled like ten-year-old schoolgirls.

"And, lock that door behind me when I leave. Don't need nothin’ happening to ya'll with those babies at home.” Sadie clicked her tongue and stood on the outside of the laundry room door until Joanne firmly locked it. With a quick wave, she again adjusted the basket against her hip and headed for her little apartment, all the while, casting nervous, but determined, sideways glances to the rowdy group at the end of the parking lot.

Turning from the door as the dryer buzzer called to her, Joanne sighed. Another load of clothes done. As soon as she finished folding this load, they could head back to their apartment and hide behind their locked doors pretending the noisy group didn't exist.

Her small salary didn't leave her much choice about where she could live. This complex actually had more families than the others she looked at, which was why she chose it. However, it also had its share of the bad element, which Joanne tried to avoid. It was only because of the location of the laundry room that she ventured on this side of the complex at all.

"Wanna come over and let the kids watch a video tonight?” Sheila asked.

Joanne pulled soft, warm clothes from the dryer and dropped them onto the tabletop. Looking over at her longtime friend, she said, “Maybe, I dunno. I'll let you know how I feel after I put all these clothes away.” Stray hairs escaped the confinement of her ponytail. She pushed the errant wisps back behind her ears. Sweat helped them cling to her skin. It was times like this that she admired Sheila's short, more no-nonsense haircut.

While folding the last of the towels, she cast a tired look around the small laundry room. Paint peeled from the walls, scattered dryer sheets and a rainbow of lint littered the cracked linoleum floor. The too-small portable air conditioner mounted in the wall above the wobbly table blasted semi-warm air into her flushed face. The high humidity level didn't help. She pulled at the hem of her small t-shirt, realizing that the bright yellow t-shirt with its commercial albeit provocative message shouted, “harass me” to the animals on the other side of the glass. At first thinking the t-shirt was cute and sufficient legal coverage for such a hot night, it now brought to mind what kind of trouble it could cause her.

Trouble had a way of finding her. Keeping two steps ahead of trouble meant a lot of work for her already stressful life. Joanne wanted to pretend that this horrible place wasn't so bad and if she could just save a little more money she and Joey could move into a better part of town. Tampa, Florida really wasn't such a bad place to live, if one lived in the right part of town. Joanne hoped that one day she and Joey could actually live in one of those places rather than just take a bus and visit them. Then this part of their life could go away and they'd put it behind them like a bad dream.

It would take a lot of pretending to imagine that the pitiful little apartment complex on the edge of industrial warehouses, porn shops, and next to the noisy railroad and the dirty Hillsborough River didn't exist.

BAM!

Joanne jumped.

The pounding on the window made her drop the just folded towel to the floor. Bending to pick it up, she glanced toward the window.

Sheila whispered to her, “Don't make eye contact. Just ignore them. Maybe they'll go away."

"They're disgusting. How can they think those gestures are attractive?” Joanne whispered back.

Sheila smothered a small laugh and shrugged her shoulders. “That's their universal mating signal. Good thing we're not from their species otherwise we wouldn't be able to help ourselves."

Now it was Joanne's turn to stifle an uneasy laugh. She tried to ignore the pounding on the glass and the taunts of the drunken onlookers from behind their only protection. “How many times have we asked for a payphone in here?” Joanne swung her arm open for emphasis. “Do you see one?"

"Come on hon, let's get our stuff and get out of here.” Sheila tossed a pile of unmated socks into her basket.

Not wasting any time, the girls gathered the rest of their unfolded laundry into baskets then looked around to make sure they didn't leave anything behind.

"Walk fast and keep your head down, Jo.” Sheila said with an air of confidence Joanne knew she really didn't feel deep inside. Joanne gave her credit for trying.

Even so, Joanne nodded, then lifted a basket and placed it on top of another. After a steadying breath, she lifted both baskets and headed for the door. Sheila did the same, and then reached out a hand that shook a little to unlock the door.

"Here we go, into the lion's den."

The taunts and pounding increased in volume as the girls stepped out of the laundry room.

"Yo, mama, gimme some softness!"

"Hey baby, looking good!"

"I'd play house with you any day."

Sheila turned her head and caught Joanne's attention. “Remember, don't make eye contact, Jo."

"I don't plan on it.” Joanne pulled her laundry baskets closer to her body. Biting her lower lip, she forced a blank look on her face and stared straight ahead.

"Yeah baby, let me do you!"

"Ooooo, yeah, shake it, shake it, gimme some fries with that creamy shake!"

"How original.” Jo whispered.

"Shhh ... don't start anything."

The crowd moved in unison toward the women. The hot humid night closed in along with the sweaty, smelly bodies. Joanne checked behind her. The loud taunting voices surrounded them. The rough looking pack closed in, blocking any escape. Now what?

"Stay close.” Sheila said.

"You too."

The jeering crowd tossed expletives and vulgar comments.

Joanne searched the faces leering back at her. Men and women alike laughed at her discomfort. She shuffled her feet backward and stumbled on loose gravel.

Wobbling sideways, Joanne braced herself to fall. Determined not to make a spectacle of herself, she strained to keep her balance. Wincing, she tightened her grip on the plastic laundry basket even though the handle bit into the sensitive skin of her palm. Biting her lip, she refused to cry out.

For the first time, fear threatened to overwhelm her senses as much as the sweat and beer coming from the crowd. Joanne pushed aside the rising panic and concentrated on not provoking anyone in the harassing group into attacking them.

"Hey, little mama, let me carry that basket for you.” A large, unshaven man reached out to pull the basket from Sheila's hands.

"No, thank you."

The large, greasy hands pulled again at Sheila's basket.

"I don't think so.” Sheila firmly held the basket in both hands. “I don't need any help.” Locked in a struggle over the basket, Sheila refused to let go.

"Hey, me too, let me help!"

Joanne grimaced and turned away from the tall, shirtless man with strange tattoos covering his body. His dirty hands grabbed at her laundry basket.

"No, I can handle it myself."

"Oh, come on, pretty little girl, let me carry it for you. Then you can show me some appreciation."

Joanne pulled her laundry basket hard. She tugged against the stronger man's hold. “No! Give me my basket!"

Clothes flew threw the air and scattered about the ground.

Anger replaced her fear. “Shit, you son-of-a-bitch! Look what you did!” Joanne couldn't hold in her disgust any longer and let loose with a string of curse words that would have made her mother faint dead away.

Raucous laughter burst from the crowd watching the exchange.

Kneeling on the rough asphalt, Joanne pressed her lips closed so she wouldn't make any more outbursts that she might regret. Without bothering to fold the scattered clothes, she shoved them into the basket as quick as she could. From nowhere, she was lifted to her feet and crushed to a foul smelling body.

"Let me go!"

"Oh, come on baby, you and me just need to get to know each other."

Joanne swallowed hard past a large lump. Bile rose in her throat. She wanted to vomit from the combined stench of sour sweat, cheap whiskey mixed with stale beer, and the foul breath of the man holding her.

"Hey, Jerk-off, let her go!” Sheila had given up her struggle over her basket and had come to Joanne's defense.

"Sheila, get back. Go get help!"

"Oh, no you don't. You're gonna stay here.” With that, Sheila's arms were pulled behind her back.

"Get off me!” Sheila kicked out. Her cheap plastic flip-flops made no impact against her captor's leather boots and heavy jeans.

Joanne's mind raced. They wouldn't really try anything out here in the open, would they? Not with everyone watching? She had to convince these jerks to turn Sheila loose.

"Hey, let her—” sirens drowned the rest of her words. Wide-eyed, she watched several police cars with flashing blue and red lights pull into the complex from various directions, converging on the group. Bright lights lit up the dark. She heaved a sigh of relief as the smelly thug that held her close pushed her away.

Rubbing her arms and trying to wipe away the grime, she watched several uniformed officers round up the rowdy crowd. Two officers made their way to Sheila and Joanne just as Sadie hurried toward them. “Are you girls okay?” Sadie called out. “I knew there was gonna be trouble. I just knew it."

"Are you the one who called the police?” an officer asked.

"Yep, that's right. I did.” Sadie clucked like a mother hen over her chicks as she checked first Joanne then Sheila for injuries. “You poor things. Honestly, I don't know how this place got to be so bad. Why, when I first moved here we didn't have any hooligans running around like they owned the place swilling booze and harassing young ladies.” Sadie gave the officer a reproachful look that could have meant it was their fault her neighborhood fell to ruins. “Are you girls sure you're okay?"

Joanne and Sheila both assured Sadie that they were fine.

Two more officers moved forward as Sadie took a breath. “We're going to need statements from all of you. If you could come this way."

"Sure, no problem,” Sheila walked with the female officer toward the laundry room door.

"Miss, if you could come this way?” another female officer motioned to Joanne.

"Of course. Let me just pick up my laundry first.” Joanne knelt next to her basket and started tossing clothes into it from their scattered mess.

Roy Bonham separated himself from the noisy crowd from which he had been gathering statements and watched silently as the small girl in the bright yellow t-shirt knelt down on the ground and gathered clothes that were strewn about. On impulse, he hurried over and offered to help.

"Here, let me get that for you."

"No!” Startled, Joanne reacted. She looked up to find a pair of kind gray eyes watching her carefully. “I'm sorry. I guess I'm still a little jumpy from all this.” She motioned toward the crowd.

Roy stood then put a gentle hand under Joanne's elbow and lifted her effortlessly to her feet. He took both laundry baskets and strode toward a small concrete bench outside the laundry room.

"Hey, where are you going with my clothes?"

Roy didn't bother answering her; he only cocked his head toward the other officer and asked if she'd taken the young lady's statement yet.

"I was just getting to that, sir."

"Okay, why don't you head over to see if Davis needs any help. I'll take over here."

"Yes, sir, Officer Bonham, sir.” The female officer saluted then turned on her heel and moved quickly over to the group to give a hand.

"Is that how you get through life, just taking over?"

Roy carefully placed the baskets on the bench and turned to respond. All words escaped him when he looked down at the feisty spark in the young girl's blue eyes. She stood next to him; her arms hugged the exposed waist of her thin body. He could see the writing on her tiny t-shirt—'Dew Me’ in bright neon green.

He smiled when she flipped her ponytail then crossed her arms over her chest as if knowing he was reading her t-shirt.

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm not sure.” Roy said before thinking.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing.” Roy swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat. “I'm Deputy Sheriff Roy Bonham. I'll take your statement. Tell me what happened here.” To cover his embarrassment, he pulled a small notebook and pen from his left breast pocket.

"We, uh ... we, uh ... I mean, Sheila and I were doing laundry and we..."

Tossing his notebook aside, Roy caught the swaying woman before she fell to the ground. “Hey!"

He lifted her slender frame into his arms and sat on the bench. Roy gazed down at the face of the woman who just fainted as if from a 1940's movie. She was so small; she fit into his arms like a child. He noticed dark smudges beneath her eyes and wondered what kept her from getting enough sleep.

He raised his hand to brush a few strays of her honey colored hair from her forehead. His hand stopped when her eyelids fluttered open.

"What happened?"

"You fainted."

"No, I didn't."

A low rumble shook Roy's chest. “Yes, you did."

"I don't faint."

Roy tightened his arms when he noticed that her too-thin, soft body no longer lay pliant in his arms. “Hold on, let's make sure you're okay before you go moving around."

"Look Officer Bonham, I'm fine. Let me go, please."

He couldn't resist the embarrassed, pleading look in her eyes. “All right. Be still.” Roy released his hold on her and let her slide off his lap onto the bench. “Maybe you should see a paramedic just to be on the safe side?"

"I don't think so."

The sting in her voice pierced Roy's soul. It echoed on his face.

She must have seen the hurt look on his face because she hurried to say in a softer tone, “That's not necessary. I just got light headed. You know, the heat of the laundry room, the humidity, the stifling night air, the...” she waved her arm to include the commotion surrounding them.

"Uh huh ... when was the last time you ate?"

"I dunno. Lunch, maybe? No, wait. I skipped lunch to go and pick up some pants for Joey. I guess it was breakfast."

"You haven't eaten for over twelve hours? No wonder you fainted!"

"Yo, Bradford!” Roy yelled for a deputy sheriff. “Bring me a can of soda."

Roy looked down as a hand tapped his arm. “I drink diet soda."

"Not diet!” he yelled to Bradford then looked back at the young girl staring up at him. “You need the sugar."

His tone meant he wasn't going to argue about it. He watched her close her mouth and cross her hands over her chest. Looks like she's not used to being told what to do. I wonder why she's doing laundry and buying pants for this Joey instead of dating and doing what other young girls her age do on the weekends?

With shaking hands, Joanne pushed a few stray hairs behind her ears. She sat the nearly empty soda can aside then fidgeted with her laundry, folding and refolding the same small t-shirt covered with super heroes.

"Do you think you've folded that shirt enough times?"

Joanne ignored his attempt to lighten the mood with humor. “Thanks for the soda. It helped.” She refused to make eye contact with the big man who sat beside her.

"Are you feeling better? Can you talk about the attack?"

"Sure.” Joanne pushed the laundry basket aside and folded her hands in her lap, gripping them tightly.

"Good. Let's start with something easy. Name?"

"Joanne. Joanne Malone."

"Good. That was easy. Address?"

"Building 8, apartment D."

"Where is that in conjunction with the laundry room?"

Joanne pointed down a dark sidewalk lit only by the dim interior lights of those apartment dwellers that happened to leave their blinds open. “I live down there, just past those trees.” She shivered.

"Don't they have any kind of lights around here?"

"The manager says they're coming. He's been saying that ever since I moved here, and well, according to Sheila, he's been saying it for the last three years.” Joanne squirmed impatiently on the bench. “Look, this is a small place. We have to live here. No one got hurt. Can we just finish up?” She knew that word would get around fast in their small community and if she guessed right, she and Sheila wouldn't come out looking like the victims.

"This is a pretty rough neighborhood. More industrial than residential.” Roy pulled back at the sharp look the young woman gave him. “I mean, what kind of ... that is ... there's better places for a young girl to live.” He swiped his face with his hand.

Joanne spoke sharply. “I know, but it's all I can afford, okay? Besides it's close to where I work. I don't have a car, so I need to be on the major bus route.” She defended her decision to live at Arbor Meadows with more vehemence than she realized was in her. “You don't need to remind me that I live in one of the poorest areas of Tampa. I know that.” Joanne stood and stamped her foot. “God, I'm reminded of it every day when I wake up and step outside my damn door!"

"You're right. I was out of line.” Roy put out a restraining hand. “Calm down. I understand.” He turned his head to see how far the other officers were with their duties. “Let's see if we can't wrap this up.” He nodded to one of the officers who caught his glance and turned back to Joanne. “As far as this call, I'll need to confer with the other officers and compare stories."

Sitting back down on the bench, Joanne ran a hand along her thighs. They tingled, as if they'd been shot through with electricity. Why is it so important that I defend my living arrangements to this man?

"So, you guys use a divide and conquer strategy?"

"Sort of.” Roy laughed. “It works, most of the time."

Joanne smiled. She couldn't help it. His laugh enveloped her like a gentle, warm blanket. She liked the sound of his deep voice. She watched his lips separate; straight white teeth showed as he grinned. He finished taking the rest of her information and added her statement to his notebook. Flipping it closed he put it back in his pocket before saying, “Why don't you sit here while I check out what's going on.” Roy patted her shoulder before he left.

Joanne watched the officer leave as her best friend Sheila skipped across the parking lot. She smiled when Sheila's head rotated on her shoulders to follow the retreating officer. She never was one to keep her opinions to herself.

"Oh my God, girl!” Sheila flopped onto the bench next to Joanne.

"What?"

"I saw your officer. M'm M'm M'm.” She fanned her face with her hand.

Joanne shoved a shoulder into Sheila's in a friendly manner. “He's not my officer."

"Uh, huh. I didn't see anyone ordering a can of soda for me."

"I felt woozy.” Joanne smirked back at Sheila. “He said I fainted. Ha! Goes to show how much he knows. I don't faint."

"I would too, if I was close to that. What a hunk. He reminds me of someone—someone in the movies. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

"You're nuts.” Joanne hid the blush on her cheeks by pretending to check her laundry for damage.

Sheila wasn't about to let it go. She tapped a finger to her forehead before her eyes lit up with the answer. “I know who! You know, that actor in that underwater movie, um—alien, abyss, yeah The Abyss. Ed somebody. Sheila closed her eyes and recited the alphabet softly to herself. “E, F, G, H ... Harris!” Proudly, Sheila sat back, stuck her legs out in front of her and crossed her ankles.

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Give me a break."

"No and hush, he's coming back."

"Funny that you'd notice that."

Joanne punched Sheila in the arm. “Shut up!"

"Ow, okay.” Sheila laughed at her friend's flustered face.

"Okay, this is what we're going to do.” Roy clapped his hands once and rubbed them together. “You two are free to go. We have your statements and if we have any more questions we can call you."

Sheila answered for both of them. “That's right. You can call us any time.” She held a hand in front of her face and pointed toward Joanne. She mouthed the words, ‘You can call her any time.'

Joanne pushed at Sheila to try and stop her from motioning towards her. She didn't need any unnecessary complications right now, and her friend's attempt to set her up with a cop would definitely top the list of complications.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

Joanne shot Sheila a piercing stare.

"Nothing. Nothing at all.” Sheila put her hands behind her head, whistling and feigning innocence.

Joanne breathed a sigh of relief and threw her friend a look that she hoped she understood to mean she'd talk to her later.

Roy shrugged then picked up Joanne's laundry baskets and strode toward the sidewalk.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm carrying your baskets to your apartment."

"I can carry them myself. I do it every week."

"You need to take it easy. You're probably still weak from your fainting episode."

"I don't faint.” Joanne said to the officer's large, muscular, retreating back.

Sheila raised her eyebrows and waggled them at Joanne as she bent over to pick up her own laundry baskets.

Joanne laughed as Sheila pretended to struggle under the weight while motioning with her head that she should follow the man who just took off with her baskets.

Waving a hand at her meddling friend, Joanne hurried to catch up with the officer making off with her laundry before he reached her apartment.

Joanne and Sheila caught up with Officer Roy Bonham in front of their building. He stepped aside on the sidewalk giving them enough room to pass.

Joanne knocked on an apartment door.

"I thought you said you lived in D?"

Holding her basket, Sheila used a free elbow to nudge Joanne in the ribs, “He remembered your apartment?"

"Shut up.” Joanne grinned at her friend to let her know she wasn't angry then she turned to the officer questioning her. “I'm picking up my son, not that it's really any of your business."

"You have a son?"

Sheila interrupted before Joanne could respond, “Hey, Jo, I'm gonna head on in to my place and put these heavy baskets down. Tell Justin I'm home. If you don't wanna come over later and watch a video I understand.” She winked at Joanne. “I'll talk to ya later, ‘kay?"

Joanne gave her friend a brief hug just as the door opened and a small whirlwind blasted through the door and flung himself at her legs. “Joey!” Her heart always skipped a beat when she saw her son. His blond hair and bright blue eyes never failed to make her smile, even on the roughest days. He was her rock in this mad, angry world. With him she could snuggle in and forget about her troubles.

A slightly older boy stepped through the doorway, “Where's my mom?” he asked looking anxiously at the police officer.

"Don't worry, sweetie,” Joanne said quickly. “She's in your house. Go on home and help her put the laundry away.” She patted him on his shoulder as he hurried past to run into his own apartment yelling, “Mom, why's there a cop with Miss Jo?"

Joanne reached down to smooth the soft blond hair of her son. He wrapped his chubby arms around her legs and pressed his face into her thigh. “Was he any trouble, Susan?” Joanne asked her part-time babysitter and neighbor.

"Not at all, an angel, as always.” Susan spoke the words to Joanne, but her eyes focused on the uniformed officer.

Joanne watched her neighbor boldly survey the man standing next to her while Susan handed her Joey's backpack. “Susan, this is Deputy Sheriff Bonham, Officer, this is Susan, my neighbor and babysitter."

"Officer,” Susan held out a hand.

"Ma'am, nice to meet you.” Roy shifted the load in his arms, shook her hand quickly, and then released it.

"Thanks, Susan,” Joanne picked up her son and turned toward her own apartment. “I'll talk to you later."

"You better!” Susan gave one more curious look at the pair and then closed her door.

Balancing Joey on one hip, Joanne hurried to open her door. Once inside, she sat Joey on the couch with his backpack and turned to the man holding her laundry baskets.

"Here, let me put those away.” She pulled the baskets from his hands before he could argue and headed down a small hall and through an open doorway leaving Officer Roy Bonham to get acquainted with the little man in Joanne's life—Joey Malone.

Roy glanced around the small cluttered room. The boy clutched his red plastic backpack to his chest while seated quietly on a well-worn couch and stared up at him with wide blue eyes.

An assortment of toy trucks and cars were scatted on the threadbare, but clean, multi-colored carpet. With a quick look, his eye for detail registered the pile of mail on an old scuffed coffee table, the collection of story book character stuffed animals piled in the only chair, and a small discount store brand television and VCR balanced on a stack of vibrantly colored plastic crates filled with an assortment of children's videos.

He could see that she'd taken pains to make the inside of her apartment as pleasant as possible for her and her son. She lived in the poorest area of Tampa. This section of town was called “suitcase city” because the cheap apartment complexes and motels attracted transient residents. People who didn't stay in one place too long or moved from job to job. He saw what went on outside her apartment door every night. Raising a child in this area was a fulltime job, just keeping them out of trouble, let alone making a living.

More often than not, drug dealers and prostitutes roamed these streets. Gangs drifted from one end of their territory to the other looking for trouble. They never had to look far. Trouble usually found them.

Roy knelt down on one knee and picked up a bright yellow tractor from the assortment scattered on the floor. He held it out to the child. “Is this yours?” he asked.

Wide eyes stared up at him.

Knowing how children reacted to strangers, Roy waited patiently while he held the toy out toward the boy. He smiled as the little chubby fingers twitched. Still Roy held the toy out waiting and watching. It wasn't long before the backpack slid from the boy's lap and his hands moved toward his truck.

The youngster put one hand in his mouth and reached out with the other for his toy. “Go ahead, you can take it.” Roy encouraged. A thrill coursed through him as the tike child gently took the toy he offered. It had been a long time since he was this close to such a young child and it produced a strong ache in the middle of his chest.

"Hey, Joey, time for your bath!” Joanne called out from the rear of the apartment.

Bright blue eyes made contact with Roy. The little mouth formed a perfect oval.

"Is it bath time?” Roy asked.

Joey nodded. “I gotta take a baff.” He hugged the truck to his chest while keeping two fingers in his mouth.

Roy got to his feet when Joanne returned. He noticed that she had changed out of the too-small bright yellow t-shirt into a baggy red t-shirt that hung nearly to her knees.

"I ... uh, wanted to ... that is, I...” Roy's words faded away while he stared. He watched Joanne's perfectly round derrière as she bent over and picked up her son. With the same intensity he gave her firm bottom he then watched as she delicately brushed back Joey's hair with a finger and planted a kiss on his forehead.

He stood near the mother and son but felt so alone—so outside their own world. She whispered words of love and nonsense into the child's tiny ear that made him giggle and hug her tight around the neck. Their bond was powerful.

A desire to be a part of such a loving relationship hit him hard in his chest. The realization made him catch his breath. “I gotta go."

"Oh, right.” Joanne shifted Joey to her left hip and held out her right hand to shake his. “Thank you for helping me with my laundry and stuff.” She shook his hand quickly, as if not wanting to maintain any contact. “That was very nice of you."

Roy stepped back a bit, disconcerted by the formality in her voice.

After shaking his hand, she shifted Joey back into the full embrace of her arms. “And, for, you know...” She gave him a firm look and then dropped her gaze to her son.

Roy understood that she didn't want to talk about the attack in front of the child. “You're welcome.” He turned to the door then stopped and faced Joanne, his face stern. “I'm going to talk to the manager and see if I can persuade him to add a few lights around here."

"Good luck."

"I think he'll change his mind."

Roy walked down the dark sidewalk pondering the ferocity of his statement. He defended it by telling himself that it was for the safety of the residents, but only one resident centered herself in his mind. He knew it would take more than he could handle to remove the image of Joanne with her son cradled in her arms out of his mind.

After speaking to the apartment manager and extracting a promise to install landscape lights along the sidewalks tomorrow as well as start construction on installing taller floodlights to illuminate all areas of the complex, he headed back to the parking lot to catch up with the other officers.

"Tony, you guys about finished here?” he asked the closest officer.

"Yeah, pretty much. We've already taken the two perps in on 220, 221, and a 310 if the vics want to press assault charges. The rest of the group got a warning. We figure we'll patrol the area a little closer for the next week, just to reinforce our warning."

Roy patted Tony on the shoulder. “Good idea. I'll work the area in on my patrol."

Tony turned to look at his friend with a question in his eyes, “Yeah? Any special reason, or can I assume it has something to do with that little blond you were hovering around?"

Ignoring his buddy, Roy surveyed the surrounding area, making sure no equipment was left. He opened the driver's side of his patrol car, leaned on the door, and then turned to Tony, “Assume whatever you want, but it's because I want to follow up on the manager who promised to put in extra lights for the residents. I want to make sure he does it."

Tony opened the door to his patrol car. “Uh huh, right."

In the process of stepping into his car, Roy stopped and turned, “What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Bonham. Nothing at all.” Tony smiled, slid behind the wheel and shut his door, grinning back at his best friend through the open window of his car. They'd been friends a long time and if this is what it took to put that spark back in his buddy's eyes, then he was all for it.

Joanne carried the small bag of groceries in front of her. She enjoyed the short walk from the bus stop to the apartment complex even though it was among warehouses and small industrial businesses. It gave her time to think and be by herself. Being a single parent meant she had very little time to herself, not that she was sorry. She loved Joey and wouldn't trade her life with him for all the money in the world.

Using her imagination, she'd walk among the scrap heaps and trash dumpsters pretending she lived in South Tampa, maybe even on the edge of Hyde Park, close to a small school for Joey and a nice family medical clinic where she could work. They'd own a nice little car, but they'd walk because they enjoyed the neighborhood. Laughing with their neighbors over the antics of squirrels racing among the trees. On Saturdays or Sundays, Joey would play with the other children in the park while she chatted with the mothers; exchanging recipes and tips on removing grass stains from little boys’ clothes.

Walking along the sidewalk, with the soft wind blowing in her hair, she spent a few precious moments with her own thoughts. Across an empty lot, she could see the back of the apartment complex. She stepped off the sidewalk and into the tall weeds. The short cut saved ten minutes and a longer walk around the block.

She covered the short distance quickly and in no time was knocking on her neighbor's door to pick up her son.

"Hi, Susan.” Joanne sat the bag down briefly to hug her son. “Here's the bread you asked me to pick up."

"Thanks, you're a life saver, hon."

"No problem. I had to stop at the store any way.'

"I'll see you in the morning."

"You bet. Come on Joey, let's go home."

Joanne unlocked her door for Joey to run inside and turned to pick up her bag of groceries.

For a second, she was disoriented. Where was her bag?

Why was there a pair of black shoes in the place where she'd sat the bag of groceries?

"Looking for this?"

Joanne looked from the shiny shoes up the straight seam of the dark green trousers and past the crisply ironed uniform to the gray eyes twinkling back at her. It was hot. She wasn't in the mood for games. Besides, how could he look so darn cool and comfortable in this humidity? “What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too."

"I'm sorry.” Joanne stepped into her apartment and waited for Officer Bonham to follow her. “I wasn't expecting you."

"I had to follow up with the apartment manager on a few things and thought I'd stop by to see how you were doing."

He placed the bag of groceries on the small kitchen table and turned to look at her. “Anymore fainting spells?"

"I don't—"

"I know, you don't faint.” He laughed at her.

Joanne wiped the sweat from her flushed face with a paper towel and brushed stray hairs back into her ponytail. “Officer Bonham, would you like a soda?” She crossed the small kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator door scanning the contents. A small assortment of generic store brand sodas cluttered the top shelf along with a half-gallon of milk and small, square cardboard containers of orange juice. Behind her, unnatural, mechanical-like reverberating voices squawked from the radio attached to Roy's belt.

"Me do, mommy!” Joey ran across the room, pushing Roy aside in his haste to get up to the kitchen table.

"Joey, mind your manners. Say excuse me."

"'scuze me.” Joey tossed his apology in the general direction of the police officer standing near him.

Joanne poured a small amount of orange soda in a glass and placed it in front of Joey. She threw a questioning glance in the officer's direction.

"Actually, I have to get going."

"Why did you come?” Joanne asked then grimaced at how her usual bluntness could have been mistaken for rudeness as well.

Roy didn't let the abrupt question bother him. “I wanted to make sure the apartment manager bought the lights we discussed. He did. He's going to install them this weekend."

"You're kidding!” Joanne placed her hand across her heart. “God, I just might faint now, for real."

Joanne watched Roy's eyebrows rise at her last statement. Thankful he didn't try to contradict her again.

"Nope, I saw the lights myself. Two boxes of them, sitting on the floor of his office."

She turned back to the refrigerator.

"Well, I don't know what to say.” Joanne poured a small amount of ginger ale into a glass and handed it to the officer. “Here, this deserves a celebration."

Roy took the glass from her. “To more improvements in your life."

Joanne took a good look at the formidable man standing in front of her. “I hope so."

Before Roy could respond with something that might embarrass her, a knock on the door broke the awkward silence.

Joanne turned, grateful for the interruption. She opened the door to find her friend Sheila gaping at her unexpected guest. “I knew it. Justin said he saw a cop walking around outside.” She blew into the room, her outgoing personality filling the small space.

"Hi Sheila, what's up?"

A blank look crossed her face. “I forget,” her attention absorbed by the tall man in the dark green trousers and crisp white uniform shirt.

The object of Sheila's staring turned to Joanne and handed her his glass. “I really must go. I'm still on duty.” He walked backwards, unable to turn around in the small kitchen space. He put his hands behind his back, searching for the door behind him.

"Thanks for stopping by and letting me know about the lights, Officer Bonham."

"My pleasure.” He opened his mouth then closed it before he said anything else.

Sheila kept a neutral expression on her face as she watched the two exchange pleasantries. After Joanne closed the door she burst out with, “What in the world was he doing here?"

Joanne flopped onto the sofa and sipped her ginger ale. “Do you know he got Gillman to promise to put in lights?"

"No way."

"Yep, way.” She blew a strand of hair off her nose. “You want a soda? Help yourself."

"Thanks.” Sheila rummaged in the refrigerator that was as familiar to her as her own. She popped open a soda for herself and sat in the chair opposite the sofa. “And he had to come over here and tell you that in person?"

"I guess so."

"What's up with that?"

"I don't know. Nothing, I guess."

"Uh huh.” Sheila sipped her soda while giving her friend a hard look over the rim of her can. “Ain't nothin’ about it, if you ask me. Deputy sheriffs don't follow up on this sort of thing. They fill out their reports and turn them over to someone in another department."

"You know about this sort of stuff?"

"Yeah, having a husband who was a fireman meant we all hung around in the same circles. Some of it just kind of got absorbed, know what I mean?"

"Where's Justin?” Joanne forced a change in conversation.

"He's playing at Tracy's. They invited him to dinner."

"So you wanna hang out here?"

"Whatcha having?"

"Does it matter?"

Sheila laughed. “No, I guess not."

After a dinner of macaroni and cheese with sliced hot dogs, Joanne let Joey watch a cartoon video while she and Sheila chatted at the small kitchen table.

Checking on her son to make sure he was watching the video and not listening to their conversation, Joanne half-whispered, “Guess what Joey asked me this morning."

"What?"

"He wanted to know where his daddy was."

"Uh oh."

"Yeah. I really didn't know what to say. He caught me off guard. I'd always thought about telling him one day, I guess I just never thought it'd be so soon."

"He's a little bit younger than Justin was when his dad died."

"At least Justin got to know his dad. Joey never had a father in his life."

"Not even when he was born?"

"Nope.” Joanne shifted on the kitchen chair and took a drink of her soda. “Remember I told you that I wasn't married and that Joey's father left before he was born?"

Sheila nodded.

"Well that's only part of the story. I know you've been really good about being there for me and not asking a whole lot of questions."

"I figured what was your business was your business."

"I appreciated that."

"Besides, I knew you'd get around to telling me sooner or later.” Sheila laughed. “And if you didn't, I'd torture you until you did. Good thing we don't have to resort to that."

"Yeah? Well, maybe I won't tell you now.” Joanne crossed her arms.

"You don't want to mess with me, girlfriend. I can get little boys to tell me who ate the last chocolate chip cookie. Getting you to talk would be as simple as that.” She snapped her fingers.

"Okay, okay. I give!"

"Good, now let's get serious. Tell me about Joey's father."

"I thought I loved him. Worse, I thought he loved me. We were in high school; just kids really—we'd been dating for almost an entire semester.” Joanne's laugh was more like a snort of disgust. “An entire lifetime in those days. God, when did I get old?” She pulled one knee up to her chest. “He didn't want anything to do with me when I told him I was pregnant, his parents didn't want to be involved, and my parents, well, let's just say they thought it was best that I go live with my Aunt Sharon.” Joanne looked away from her friend's sympathetic face. “My parents were so disappointed. They insisted that I have an abortion. I refused to go along with their plans.” Using her fingernail, Joanne traced the faint squiggles imbedded in the worn Formica tabletop. She bit her lip to keep from saying more.

"My God, that's so old-fashioned, especially in this day and age."

Joanne shrugged. “They even tried to force me to give Joey up for adoption."

The microwave beeped. Sheila jumped up to pour the hot popped corn into a small bowl. Pushing the bowl onto the table between them, she sat back down.

Joanne continued, “Yeah, well, I guess I was an embarrassment to them. I think they thought their membership to the country club was at stake or something."

"And the boy?"

Joanne shook her head. “I dunno.” Reaching for a handful of popcorn she said, “he was just some boy I thought I loved. I think his parents sent him away to a private school. I never saw him again.” Joanne shook her head. “I know what you're thinking. But, it was probably for the best."

"Yeah, but you were how old, fifteen, sixteen?"

"I was sixteen when I found out I was pregnant, seventeen when I had Joey.” Joanne tossed a handful of popcorn into her mouth. “My parents paid for my medical bills, even the delivery, but never came to see me. After I had Joey they cut me off.” She folded her legs under her and sat cross-legged on the chair. “It didn't make any difference to me. I'd about had it with them anyway. Packing me off to my dad's sister was just the last of their most shining moments in our family history."

"And you don't have any contact with them now?"

"Nope. I tried when Joey turned one year old, then I tried again when he turned two. Since then, I haven't bothered. We have our life and they have theirs.” Joanne looked away, staring at anything other than the compassion and pity she saw in her friend's eyes. “It's better this way."

The cartoon video ended and Joey's attention was drawn to the women in the kitchen. He picked himself up from the carpet and ran to stand next to his mom. “Besides, Joey and I are happy, just as we are, right kiddo?” She put her arm around her son and squeezed.

He squealed with delight. “Sweetie, can you go get your p.j's and bring them out so I can help you put them on?"

"I can do it!” Joey ran into his small bedroom.

Sheila laughed. “God he's cute. Sometimes I wish Justin was that small again. Then I slap myself and wake up."

"Don't you want another kid?” Joanne looked at her friend carefully. She was still young. She was only thirty-two. And a young thirty-two at that. Sheila dressed wilder than most women her age—even women Joanne's age.

"Maybe, I dunno. The older Justin gets the more I think about babies, but I'm not sure if I want to go through the whole thing again.” Sheila turned to Joanne. “What about you? Oh wait, that would require a man, and we all know you've sworn off men."

Joanne threw a small handful of popcorn at her friend. “Not forever, just not right now. My life is pretty full as it is."

"God, you're the oldest twenty-one year old I ever knew."

Joanne scooped up the thrown kernels and caught her friend watching her. “I don't like to waste this stuff. Pop Secret is my only indulgence.” She pulled a plastic baggie from a box on the shelf and carefully poured the rest of the popcorn inside. “Yes, I even save the leftovers,” she said to Sheila who watched her with an amused look on her face. “I figure if I'm going to snack, I'd choose something good. I'm addicted to popcorn, so it may as well be the good stuff.” She answered the questioning look on her friend's face, “I tried the store brand and generic brands but they just weren't the same. Some of them tasted like the paper bag they came in, some were just too darn salty they burned my tongue. It's not worth it. So, I take the newspapers from the doctor's office, instead of buying my own. I scrimp where I can just so I can have this one thing to myself."

"Hey, I'm not judging, Jo. I do the same thing."

"You do? With what?"

"I don't even share it with anyone, not like you and your popcorn. It's those Dove chocolate miniatures. I keep a bag of them in the freezer and a bag by my bed. I'm such a miser with them I don't share at all. No one gets between me and my chocolates."

Joanne laughed. “We're quite a pair. The littlest things make us happy.” She laughed again. “Chocolate and popcorn."

"Well, there could be a little something more in our lives to make us happy."

"I guess it's different because you've been married, so you know what you're missing. But, me? I don't see it as such a big thing."

Catching her son as he flung himself and his pajamas into her arms, she wrestled with him while continuing to talk to her friend. “I have to work and take care of Joey. That takes up all my spare time. I don't have an extra second for someone else in my life, especially one that could potentially change our life.” She hugged Joey to her. “We like our life just the way it is, right pal?"

"wight.” He stood still while Joanne stripped him of his clothes then dressed him in his light blue pajamas covered in race cars.

"You know, Jo. I'd be more than happy to watch Joey any time you wanted to go out."

"I know, thanks, but—"

"But ... what? God, to think of the number of times you've watched Justin for me. I've lost count of how many I owe you."

"But, I wouldn't hold my breath."

"What if that cute cop asked you out?"

"Huh?"

"Don't look so innocent. I saw that look in his eye last night. He was interested.” Sheila pursed her lips together and made a face. “It's obvious he was looking for some excuse to see you today. No man goes out of his way to tell you something as trivial as lights."

"Yeah, well, maybe so, but I'm sure he's lost interest now that he knows I have a kid, besides, it doesn't matter. I don't have—"

"Time, I know.” Sheila threw a popcorn kernel back at her friend. It bounced off Joanne's head and landed on the floor. “Uh oh, you want me to go get that and brush it off so you can save it for later?"

"Smart ass."

"Yep. That's me. I apologize for interrupting. Keep going.” She motioned with her hand to Jo to continue talking.

"I worked and went to school practically 24/7 for the first two years of Joey's life so we could live on our own. It's our time right now.” She hugged her son close.

"Hey, hon, I've gotta get. Justin's supposed to be home in ten minutes and I should be there."

Joanne laughed. “Yeah, I guess you should, you nut!"

After tucking Joey into his small bed and reading two stories, Joanne tiptoed into her own room to prepare herself for bed. Not quite ready for sleep, she propped up her pillows and leaned back. Automatically she reached to the bedside table for the book she'd been reading. After reading the same page three times, she put the book back, her mind too restless to concentrate.

It was Saturday night. For a brief moment, Joanne gave in and wondered what other girls her age were probably doing tonight. She closed her eyes and imagined getting ready for a date or giggling with a bunch of girls at the mall.

No matter how she tried, the image wasn't clear. She couldn't picture herself among those girls. Not any more. That part of her life was in the past. In the past and over. She knew she had nothing in common with them and they wouldn't understand the life she chose. Just like her parents didn't understand—or even try. What did it matter? She would never trust them again. Not when they hurt her so bad by trying to take Joey from her. What kind of grandparents tries to sell their own grandchild? There would be no contact with anyone from her past—ever again. I'm not that girl anymore. This is who I am. Joey's mom.

Tossing about the bed, she kicked her legs out from under the sheet and light blanket. She looked around the small room. She didn't have much in the way of possessions. A single chest of drawers held her clothes while the small closet contained a couple of dresses and her uniforms for work. Her most important possession lay in his little second hand bed in the next room.

She let her glance rest on the picture frames on the dresser. A chubby cherub-smiling baby laughed back at her from one picture. Her face softened as the tension eased. Those pictures chronicled important steps in her young son's life. Her smile warmed when she looked at her favorite pose of Joey perched on a rocking horse with a cowboy hat on his head.

No matter how hard she had to work now, or how difficult life could be at times, it would have been ten times harder without her son.

Joanne turned off the light and turned over on her side. She fell asleep mentally counting the pennies in her head she'd been saving for the birthday party she was planning for Joey when he turned four next week.

It was Monday morning and Joanne had been at work for nearly an hour. Mondays were always tough at the clinic. Since they were situated so close to the industrial part of town many of the workers would come in on Monday morning complaining of upset stomachs and headaches in hope that they'd get a day off work and an extra day added to their weekend.

"Come'on, honey, tell the doc I'm hurtin’ bad, okay?"

"You hang in there, Mr. Reynolds. Doctor Stanton will be in to see you just as soon as he can.” Joanne patted his arm and gathered up the blood pressure cuff and digital thermometer.

Sliding Mr. Reynolds's chart into the plastic holder outside the examining room door, she took a moment to lean against the wall before heading toward the front desk.

"Joanne? Something wrong?"

"Huh? No, sorry, just catching a quick breath.” Joanne tucked a stray lock behind her left ear. “Hey, Sara?"

The older woman turned back with a smile on her face.

"Joey's birthday is next weekend. He loves that pizza place with the big puppets, you know, Chuck E. Cheese? Would you come and bring Billy?"

"Sure thing, you just give me the details later. Dr. Stanton wants me in room four,” she glanced at her watch, “about thirty seconds ago."

Joanne smiled. Sara had been working with Dr. Stanton for the last eight years. The two of them could finish each other's sentences and knew what the other was thinking before the thought formed in their head. Sara had made her feel welcome when she first started at the clinic. Even though their age difference was more than ten years, their children were the same age. The age difference didn't matter; their kids kept them close.

"No problem, go on. I'll take the next patient."

Sara flashed a quick smile of thanks before tapping on the door of room four and slipping quietly inside.

Joanne grabbed the next chart from the stack and called Mrs. Batista from the waiting room.

"Good morning, Mrs. Batista, how are you doing today?"

"Fine. Fine. I have this earache."

"Step over here so we can get your weight."

"Just for an earache?"

"Every time, Mrs. Batista.” Joanne smiled. She knew some women weren't comfortable with stepping onto the scale.

"Where can I put my purse?"

Joanne motioned to the chair next to the scale then waited patiently. She'd seen some women nearly strip naked just to lose an ounce or two from the final number. She was lucky today. Mrs. Batista only removed her shoes.

For the rest of the day, Joanne kept busy taking blood pressures, temperatures, and shuffling patients from the waiting room, to the examining room, and then out. Keeping busy made the time go fast and kept her from dwelling on anything more than which patient was in which room. Strangely enough, the most compelling thought that crossed her mind when she took her first break of the day wasn't about work at all. For a brief moment she wondered what Roy Bonham was doing and for a briefer, crazier moment, she wondered if he was thinking of her.

The furthest thing from Roy's mind was thinking of the impish girl he'd been unable to forget for two days. The only thing he was thinking about right now was how to keep the bozo in the convenience store from flaking out and killing his hostages.

Keeping one eye on the convenience store's door, Roy quickly glanced at his watch. Forty minutes. He shifted his legs to ease the cramping in his tight thigh muscles. “Come on, man, make your move,” he whispered between clenched teeth. He watched the agitated man waving a gun and pacing back and forth between the rows of crackers, chips, and sodas.

Roy tapped his radio. “Pete?"

"Pete, here."

"Any luck?"

"Nothing, Roy. With those people lined up in front of that window, I can't find a clean shot."

Roy let go of the radio's transmitter before muttering his opinion of the crazed lunatic.

"I sure would hate to have to go through a hostage to get to that mother—"

Roy keyed the radio and cut off Pete's colorful description. “Hang in there, Pete. We're not that desperate; not yet anyways."

Pieces of gravel scattered to his left. Without taking his eyes from the store, he asked his captain, “anything?"

"Nothing. Looks like the back door is locked from the inside and rigged somehow. We can't get in—not without making a lot of noise and losing some hostages."

Roy made a noncommittal noise.

"This son-of-a-bitch can keep us out here for hours. There's nothing we can do to force him out."

"Maybe, maybe not—look, Captain Samuels, I think we got a chance here, but it might be risky."

"You got something in mind, Bonham?"

"Maybe. I'm thinking some sort of distraction and a quick entrance...” He turned to look at his captain. “Some details need to be worked out, can you bring Bradford over?"

"Sure,” Captain Samuels patted Roy on the shoulder then carefully lifted his head to move back toward the command post. “Be right back."

"Have you heard the news?"

Finishing her count of syringes, Joanne added the total to the list on her clipboard. Placing her hand on the shelf to mark her place she turned to Lisa Barton, the office manager. “No, what news? It's been a typical Monday, I haven't had a chance to turn on a radio let alone listen to one, what's up?” Joanne asked.

"A hostage situation, practically right around the corner."

Joanne held her breath. “Anyone hurt?"

"Dunno. Don't think so, not yet, anyway."

Letting out the held breath, Joanne nodded. “I hope it stays that way."

"Me too, I'll keep you updated."

"Thanks.” Joanne half-turned to return to taking inventory of the supply closet when she stopped. “Hey, Lisa?"

"Uh huh?"

"How's Emily?"

For a moment, Joanne regretted asking when she saw the dark shadow pass over Lisa's face. Then Lisa smiled. “She's getting better every day. Her hair is growing back. She still wears the helmet, but mostly for my sake than anything else."

"I'm glad. What's the word on the guy who hit her?"

"So far, he's been charged with DUI. According to our lawyer it was his fourth time. We're still waiting on the rest of the criminal charges."

Joanne's throat tightened. She didn't want to think about if it had been Joey. She shook her head and focused on happier thoughts. “Would you like to bring her to Joey's birthday party next weekend?"

"I don't see why not. Are you having it at your place or...?"

"No, Joey wants his party at Chuck E. Cheese."

"Oh."

"Is that a problem?"

"I'm not sure. Emily would never forgive me if she found out and couldn't go, but I'm not sure if I could handle the anxiety, you know, kids everywhere, noise, confusion, all that running around. I'm just not sure if I'm up for it."

"Maybe you could stop by for a little while?"

"Let me think about it, okay? I'm still scared to take her places where she might injure her head."

"I understand.” Joanne returned to counting supplies. “Maybe some other time."

For the rest of the day, Joanne split her time between shuffling patients and finishing inventory. It wasn't until the last patient ambled out of the waiting room that she was able to sit for a much-needed break.

Using an old magazine as a fan, Joanne flapped it at the back of her neck to dry the drops of sweat clinging to the short tendrils curling loose from the scrunchie she wore to keep her hair back.

"Whew! What a day."

"You can say that again.” Sara dropped into the chair next to Joanne's and kicked off her shoes.

"Whew! What a—"

Sara playfully punched Joanne's arm, “Not literally, you goof!"

"I'm sorry,” Joanne chuckled through a forced smile. “I plead insanity from such a brutal day."

"Guilty,” Sara said. “Your punishment is to go home and play with that adorable little boy of yours."

"Yes, ma'am!” Joanne saluted Sara. “You don't have to tell me twice, I'm outa here."

"Have a good evening, Joanne.” Sara shoved her feet back into her shoes, pulled herself out of the chair, and made her way to the employees’ break room to get herself ready to go as well.

As Joanne gathered her belongings she heard one of the nurses ask, “Did anyone hear what happened about the hostage situation?"

Joanne answered, “No, not me. I didn't get one extra second to find out, anyone else know?"

Theresa, the receptionist poked her head into the break room and said, “Oh, didn't I tell you? It's all over.” She turned to go but was called back by the others insisting she sit and tell them what happened.

Theresa sat among her co-workers and said, “Well, basically, like I said, it's over."

Eyebrows raised and eyes rolled. “Yeah, we know that, what happened to end it?"

"Oh, right.” Theresa turned to the person who asked. “Let's see, according to the news reports the police got tired of waiting for the guy to give himself up."

"And...?"

"Oh, well, get this, the coolest part was that some cop went right up to the store, disguised as a homeless person or something like that. Apparently he managed to distract the guy enough for the SWAT team to blast the store with some smoke bombs and lots of tear gas."

"Did anyone get hurt?"

"I don't think so, well, except the guy who took everyone hostage, oh, and the cop he shot."

Joanne's ears pricked up. “A cop got shot? Who? Did they say whom? Did you hear a name?"

"I wasn't paying that close attention. I don't remember a name."

Joanne's chest tightened in an uncomfortable knot. For reasons she refused to explain to herself her mind immediately jumped to Roy Bonham. With hundreds of cops in Tampa, why she would assume he would be the one to get hurt made little sense. But, there she was, worrying anyway.

"I gotta go home.” Joanne grabbed her purse and hurried out the door tossing a few short good-byes behind her.

Joanne rushed past the warehouses and empty lots. Her eyes saw none of it. Other images pushed aside her usual daydreams. Images that made no sense to her, yet continued to plague her mind nonetheless. He wasn't anything more than a casual acquaintance based on professional courtesy. His actions during the course of his job shouldn't mean anything to her, yet her mind focused an impression of Roy Bonham lying cold and lifeless as his blood drained away onto the graveled parking lot of the convenience store that seemed so real she shivered.

Forcing herself to stop thinking such gruesome thoughts, she focused instead on more positive images. The tenderness he showed to her after the attack at the laundry room. The fierceness he showed when he talked about getting lights for their walkway. The way his eyes softened when he looked at Joey. With his smiling face, so vivid in her mind, she expected to see him sitting on her doorstep when she rounded the corner.

She stopped short.

Nothing and no one graced her doorway.

He wasn't there.

Why should he be? Joanne admonished herself. It's not as if he doesn't have a life. Or a job. What right did she have to expect him hanging around her and her kid? He was just doing his job. Maybe better than most, but he was still just doing his job. Get over it and him, girl. He's not likely to show up anymore now that the lights are in place.

A solid heaviness settled into the pit of Joanne's stomach. She forced nagging thoughts down on top of the heaviness and swallowed hard. Forget him. Forget it all. He was just a nice man who helped you out when you were in need. Don't make anything of his gesture. He was just doing his job.

Cursing Sheila for putting crazy ideas into her head she took a deep breath then knocked abruptly on her neighbor's door. Within seconds, all thoughts of warm gray eyes and a captivating grin flew from her mind as she gathered her energized son and his backpack filled with toys and storybooks into their apartment and started dinner.

After one bath, two stories, and three rounds of I Spy, Joanne collapsed on the sofa after putting Joey to bed. Looking about the room she mentally reviewed the items on her task list. Take newspapers to the recycle bin. Put Joey's toys in the basket. Wash dishes. Gather dirty clothes for the laundry.

Thinking about the laundry brought Roy back to her mind again. She grabbed the remote control, savagely punching buttons to turn on the television hoping to catch any information about the hostage situation on the news.

Flipping through the channels only worsened her mood. She threw the remote control toward the end of the sofa in disgust. Without cable, she couldn't find a twenty-four hour news station, and the news didn't start for another hour on the local channels.

Caught in a fit of restlessness, Joanne wandered about the small apartment randomly picking up newspapers and toys. The first knock was so indiscernible, that she thought she had been hearing noises.

The second knock was louder and easy to recognize. Joanne checked her watch then stood on her toes to look through the door's peephole.

With hands that shook just a bit, she unlocked her door and opened it wide. She never believed in the power of thought before, but hers brought the main topic right to her doorstep.

"Hi ... uh ... Officer Bonham?"

"The name's Roy, remember?"

"Yeah, sure. Please, come in. Is everything all right? Do you have more questions for me about the other night at the laundry room?"

Roy stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “No, I mean yes."

"Huh?” Joanne shook her head in confusion. “Which is it?” she asked as she motioned for Roy to take a seat in a chair while she sat across from him on the sofa and tried to hide her bare, unshaven legs by folding them underneath and sitting on them.

"Let me start again. Everything's fine and I don't have anymore questions."

"Oh. Good. Then, why are you here?” She looked straight at him with a confused question in her eyes.

"Direct, aren't you?"

"Curious is more like it."

"I suppose you are. I'm a little curious about why I'm here too."

Joanne flashed him a second confused look then asked, “Were you involved in the hostage situation today? I haven't heard much about it. I just tried checking for news on TV but..."

"There isn't much to tell. The bad guy lost, the good guys won and no innocent by-standers got hurt."

"So, you were there?"

Roy waved his hand in the air as if he were shooing a fly. “I didn't do much. I just kept the guy distracted while the real heroes went in and took him out."

"Took him out?"

"Technical police jargon.” Roy smiled.

Joanne smiled back. That heavy weight she'd been carrying around unexpectedly lifted from her shoulders. “So, you came over here to tell me that?"

"Well, sort of. It's the end of my shift and I thought I'd stop by and check in and see how you and the little guy were doing.” He looked about the room as if expecting Joey to appear.

"He's in bed."

Roy glanced at his watch. “Oh, yeah. Well, I guess it is late. I had a lot of paperwork to do after my shift. I didn't realize how late it was getting. I guess I stayed longer than I realized.” He stood and smoothed the still crisp creases in his uniform's trousers. “Oh, hey, I noticed that the sidewalk lights are installed."

"Yeah. Thanks for doing that. It's really made a difference.” Joanne stood. “By the way, my friend said something about you not being the one that should be checking up on them and mak—"

"Mommy?"

Joanne turned. Joey stood just inside the living room rubbing his eyes.

"You gotta go potty?"

Joey shook his head. He stumbled a few steps forward gawking at the man standing in his house. “I ‘member you."

Roy knelt down next to the small child. “I remember you, too."

Joey cast a distrustful look at the man in the dark uniform. “Are you gonna take my mommy away?"

"No, not at all. I just came to talk to your mommy."

"Oh.” Joey stuck a thumb in his mouth and contemplated this bit of information.

Roy shifted to face the young boy directly. “Joey, is it okay with you if I come and talk to your mommy?"

Joey thought about the question then nodded slowly. He removed his thumb from his mouth and asked, “Will you tum and talk to me too?"

Joanne watched the exchange between her son and Roy. Too many images scrambled about in her mind; images of this strong, masculine man being so gentle with her son. More images flashed through; this man, taking time out of his busy schedule to stop by. She watched as this same strong man who fought injustice and evil in the city knelt down to softly talk to her son and ask his permission to talk to his mommy. It was too much for her to handle. She touched Joey on the shoulder.

"Okay, Joey. Say goodnight to Officer Bonham and let's get you tucked in.” She knew her son would be disappointed but she had to get him back in bed.

Joey sighed the heavy sigh of all youngsters with such heavy burdens as having to go to bed before the adults. He grabbed Roy's hand. “Tum on."

Roy laughed then asked Joey where they were going.

"Bed. You tan tuck me in."

Helpless, Roy cast a questioning look to Joanne then stood, uncertain of what to do.

"Joey, Officer Bonham is a busy man. He has to go back to work. I'll tuck you in."

"No!"

Joanne recognized the defiant look in her son's eyes. Familiar with her son's stubborn streak, she firmly grasped his hand. “Come on, young man. It's bed time."

"No! Him!” Joey held his ground and pointed up at Roy.

Roy laid a hand on top of Joey's soft hair and looked at Joanne. “I don't mind. I can tuck him in."

"Joey, I don't think ... that Officer Bonham wants...” Joanne's words trailed away. She was talking to an empty room. Joey had taken off like a flash dragging Roy behind him.

Left in their wake, she hurried after them; only to stop just inside Joey's bedroom door and slowly absorbed the scene in front of her.

"And, what's this one's name?” Roy asked.

"Hen-wee.” Joey hugged the small bear. “Mommy named him."

"Henry is a nice name."

Joey nodded then scrambled under the covers, legs and elbows flying in every direction.

Joanne's heart tightened as she watched her son reach up his chubby arms and wrap them around Roy's neck. She couldn't believe her eyes. Although a very affectionate little boy, he was normally reserved in the company of other men. Not that there'd been many for him to meet.

"G'night, Woy” Joey whispered.

"Good night, Joey.” Roy whispered back, returning the little boy's hug. He held Joey close for a moment then laid him gently back into his pillow and placed a kiss on his forehead.

Quick tears welled up in the corners of Joanne's eyes. Without a single word to his mom, even without knowing what it was like, Joey just told her that he missed having a man—a father—in his life. She thought she'd been able to make it up to Joey by being both parents to him. Only now realizing that no matter what she did, it still wouldn't be enough.

She turned away so Roy wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. He passed her in the hall on his way back out to the living room. She whispered that she'd be right out as soon as she said good night to her son.

Softly walking to her son's bed, she knelt down. Inhaling his soft baby scent, she pressed her lips to her son's forehead then said, “I love you, Joey."

"I wuv you, Mommy.” Joey responded sleepily, already half way to dream land.

Joanne returned to the living room. “He's already asleep."

"You've got a great kid."

"Thanks.” Joanne smiled. “And, thank you for indulging him by tucking him in. I know he can be a bit stubborn at times, but he—"

"Don't worry about it. I enjoyed it. It's been a while since I tucked in...” Roy's voice trailed off. He frowned.

"Roy?"

"Huh?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, no, nothing.” He stiffened his stance then wiped his hand across his face as if trying to erase an imaginary smudge. “I told Gillman that he has until this weekend to get the overhead lights put up around the perimeter. You let me know if he doesn't."

"Sure, no problem.” Joanne had watched the play of emotions across Roy's face. Curious about what he had been about to say she wondered whether she should ask him to tell her more or just wait and see if he continued. Not feeling brave enough yet after having to check her own emotions in Joey's room she held her tongue.

They stood in silence. The silence stretched for a minute, then Roy said, “uh, didn't you have a question earlier, something about the lights and a friend saying I wasn't supposed to be the one who was supposed to stop and check on them?"

"Oh, that. Nothing, it was nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing when you were asking.” Roy waited. “Out with it. I won't bite."

"It's a stupid question. But here goes. My friend Sheila, remember her?” At Roy's nod, Joanna went on. “She used to be married to a fireman, and well, she said that a deputy sheriff doesn't normally check up on things like putting in lights at an apartment complex. That they, uh, write up the paperwork and turn it over to someone else."

She watched Roy's face as he turned over in his mind her statement. His mouth twitched. His lips pursed. Reaching up with one hand to rub a hand over his mouth, he answered, “Well, it's like this, usually we have a CRD, that's a Community Resource Deputy handle these kinds of situations, but, since I'm the officer in charge of this case, and I have this patrol area, I figured I'd help free up some resources and cover it myself."

He half-smiled and asked, “Does that help answer the question for your friend?"

"Uh, yeah, no doubt, I'm sure. Thanks for explaining. I'll let her know."

Once again, the silence stretched between the two of them as they stood looking at each other and the room, as it grew smaller around them.

"Right, well, thank you for stopping by.” Quickly, Joanne rushed to open the door, nearly colliding as she moved at the same time Roy did. She jerked her hand back, not wanting to touch him; or have him touch her.

Roy backed away as she stuffed her fists into the front pockets of her shorts. “I'll let myself out,” was all Roy said before he pulled opened the door and closed it behind him.

Joanne was left staring at her closed door with a head full of unanswered questions.

Sheila sat at Joanne's kitchen table while their two boys sprawled on the living room floor in front of the television watching afternoon cartoons.

"Are you going to tell me why there was a police car parked outside our building last night or are you going to make me ask?” Sheila loved her friend very much and was quite protective of her. She though of her like a little sister and didn't want to see her get hurt.

"It was nothing."

"Uh, huh. Right. Sadie said that it was there for at least an hour."

"Oh, Sadie said. So I guess it must be true.” Joanne's tone softened the bite of the sarcastic words.

"Look, we all watch out for each other around here. We're just concerned, that's all."

"I know. But, really, it was nothing. Roy just stopped by to see how we were doing. Follow up stuff, I guess."

Sheila let Joanne's use of the officer's name go but couldn't resist a different jab. “At least he didn't use the lights as an excuse this time."

Sheila jumped as Joanne burst out laughing.

"He didn't?"

Joanne nodded.

"He did?"

Joanne nodded again as Sheila got caught up in a fit of giggles.

A small spark in Joanne's eyes caused Sheila to take a breath. Sobering quickly, She gave her friend a serious look. Having fun and panting after a good-looking guy was one thing, but she saw something else in her friend's behavior. “Hon, be careful with this guy. He's way older than you for one, and for another, he's in law enforcement."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, just be careful. Law enforcement is just like the fire department. They put their life on the line every day. You could end up getting hurt."

"Sheila, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen between us. He's a nice guy who takes his work very seriously. He's concerned that I'm a single parent and was just checking on us to make sure we were all right."

Jumping from her chair, Joanne rummaged in the cupboard. To Sheila, she looked like she was looking for anything to keep herself from making eye contact with her friend. “Oh, he even explained why he's checking on the lights."

"You asked him?"

"Yeah, I asked him.” Her voice muffled with her head deep in a cupboard.

Amused at her friend's forwardness, she said, “I gotta hear this, come back and sit down."

"It wasn't anything big, he just said that he's the officer in charge and he wanted to make sure it got done right, ‘s all."

"That's all?"

"yep."

"Hmmm...” was all Sheila would say in return.

Plopping back into her seat at the table Joanne rushed on to say, “I'm sure I won't see him again now that the lights are installed."

"Don't write him off so quickly, little girl. I saw his face the other day. He's interested."

Joanne waved her hand at her friend's suggestion.

"I mean it.” Sheila grabbed Joanne's hand and held it. “He risks his life every day. I know what I'm talking about. Every day when Josh went to work I didn't know if he was coming home or if I was gonna get one of those phone calls. I loved Josh, but I grew to hate his job. I cringed every time I heard a fire truck's siren. I got to where I wouldn't answer the phone while he was working, figuring that if I didn't answer it, then no one could give me bad news.” Sheila took a deep breath then went on. “After Justin was born it got a little better. Josh didn't take as many risks, he was more careful.” Sheila ran a hand through her short hair. She shifted in her chair. “We started talking about having another baby when Justin was three. Josh even talked about applying for a job as an inspector.” A shadow fell over Sheila's face. Her eyes grew moist as tears appeared in the corners.

"I'll never forget that morning. The last time we ever talked. He told me he was supposed to hear about the job the next day.” Sheila's face softened; sharp angles replaced with gentle memories. “We were so excited and making plans. He kissed me goodbye and said ‘if all works as planned this'll be my last shift.’”

Sheila let go of Joanne's hand to wipe away the tears that had fallen down her face. “I'm sorry. I guess I still get real emotional about it."

"Don't be sorry, Sheila.” Joanne handed her a paper towel to wipe her eyes.

"It's been three years, Joanne. Three friggin’ years! A hundred why's go through my head every day. Why didn't he apply for the job sooner? Why did that warehouse catch on fire that day? Why didn't any one know about the chemicals that were stored there? Why? Why? Why?” She pounded her fist on the table making the small plastic salt and pepper shakers bounce with each impact. Folding her arms on the table, she dropped her head down. She looked up with tear-stained eyes.

"I didn't mean to make such a scene.” She said while attempting to smile.

Joanne smoothed back stray hairs from Sheila's tear-soaked face then helped wipe away her tears. “Don't worry about it. You have every right to feel like you do.” Covering one of Sheila's hands with her own, Joanne said, “but listen to me, Roy isn't interested in me like that. He's only concerned about my living conditions. That's all.” She gave Sheila's hand a squeeze then released it. “Cup of coffee or some soda?"

Sheila watched her friend's face. Joanne seemed a little too matter of fact. Something didn't add up. I think Joanne might already be dreaming about a handsome man rescuing her from all this. She's young and impressionable; doesn't have anyone to watch over her. A big strong guy, in a position of authority, could easily fit her criteria for knight in shining armor. I'd better keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't get hurt. Sure she's had to grow up faster than most kids her age, but that doesn't mean she's had enough experiences. This kid wouldn't know what hit her if she ended up on the receiving end of anything that man threw at her. If only I could talk her into going out with me, have some innocent fun. Play the field a bit; cut her teeth as it were, on some young'uns who wouldn't mind a bit! Joanne was her best friend—better than best friends—and what were best friends for, if she couldn't help her and protect her?

"Sheila?"

"Hmmm?"

"Drink?"

"Oh, soda, I guess. Give me one of those diet grapefruit sodas I saw in there the other day."

"Dieting again?"

"Shut up. Just because you still have a great figure and can eat whatever you want, doesn't mean every woman can. Just wait until you get to be my age. Then we'll see who's laughing."

"Your ancient age? Yeah, Thirty-two is ancient. Sure thing grandma. Whatever you say!"

Sheila's earlier warnings waggled in the far off recesses of Joanne's mind when she opened the door that evening and found Roy standing on her doorstep.

"Hi, uh ... it's me again."

"I see that. Would you like to come in?"

"Thanks. Yes.” Roy stepped through the now familiar door and sat in the same chair he did the night before. Joanne took her seat on the sofa opposite him.

"This is getting to be a habit."

"Maybe. I dunno. I just thought I'd stop by for a few minutes before I went home.” Roy looked about the small room. “Where's Joey?"

"In bed. He's sleeping—I hope.” Joanne smiled, remembering Roy's last visit.

Roy smiled back. “I'll try to be quiet."

"Thanks. If he doesn't get enough sleep, he drives the sitter crazy.” Joanne pushed her hair back behind her ears. “I'm not in any position to find another babysitter so I don't want to lose her."

"Does Joey go to a sitter every day?"

"Yeah. I can't afford a pre-school, so he's going to have to wait until he's old enough to start kindergarten.” Joanne sat up and looked directly at the uniformed man across from her. “Roy, why are you here?"

"Well, I just wanted to..."

"You know, you're making me the main topic of gossip around here. It's all anyone can talk about. The late night visits from the police. People are gonna start thinking I'm a criminal!"

Roy laughed. “I can't imagine anyone ever suspecting you of criminal activities."

"Why not?” Curious, Joanne wanted to know what made him so sure.

"I don't know. Your personality I guess? You just don't fit any of the profiles. You're too honest and too forthright for one."

"Hmmm ... okay, then explain the scenes I see on TV all the time of reporters talking to neighbors of the latest crazed killer.” Joanne put her hand up to her mouth pretending she had a microphone and said, “So, tell me, what was Mrs. Jane Doe like as a neighbor?” Then she turned a bit and said with a changed tone, “Gosh, she was so quiet and friendly. We never suspected she lured little old men into her house then buried their bodies in her back yard. She has the most beautiful garden in the entire neighborhood!"

Joanne burst into laughter and Roy joined in.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Joanne chuckled one last time then stood and asked, “Would you like something to drink? I can offer you a soda. There isn't any coffee made."

"A soda will do. It's too late for coffee."

Joanne grabbed two sodas from the refrigerator then returned to the living room and handed one to Roy. She couldn't resist quipping, “I thought that's all you guys ever drank was coffee and ate donuts?"

"Not all of us.” With a hiss, Roy popped open the tab on the soda can and took a long swallow.

Joanne watched his adam's apple move up and down the strong muscles of his neck. “I don't suppose you could eat donuts all the time, you wouldn't be able to chase the bad guys."

Roy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Most of us work out several times a week. We have to be stronger and faster, not just to chase the bad guys but to lug around all this equipment.” He slapped a hand on the belt around his waist.

Joanne took a close look. “Good grief, heavy leather belt, all those attachments—radio, cell phone, a gun, a stick, cuffs, what is that, pepper spray?"

Roy nodded.

Joanne held up her right hand, palm out. “I solemnly swear to never say another disparaging remark about donut-eating, coffee-guzzling cops."

"Gosh, that means so much to me.” Roy held a hand over his heart as they shared another laugh that trailed off to an uncomfortable silence.

"Roy?"

"Hmmm...?"

"Why are you here?"

"Back to that again, huh?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Darn, I thought you'd forgotten.” Roy shifted as if he were uncomfortable in the chair.

"Not likely. I have a cop sitting in my living room."

"Can we forget that I'm a cop?"

"I suppose, but it's a little hard, you sitting there in your uniform, with that gun, and your radio squawking away."

"Okay, I hear you. Would it be better if I wasn't wearing this stuff?"

Joanne held up her hands. “Whoa, big fella. You're not planning on stripping down, right here are you? If so, all I gotta do is yell out and this room will get a lot more crowded, real fast."

"Oh, no, wait a minute. That's not what I meant.” Roy hurried to explain himself. “What I meant was that instead of stopping by before I finish my shift, I can come by afterwards. Then I'll be in my street clothes. You know, less formal.” Roy gave her a hopeful look.

"Look, Roy. You're a great guy, but—"

"Wait, before you go on..."

Joanne slapped her hand on the arm of the sofa. “No, let me finish."

"Now I know where Joey gets his stubborn streak."

"Funny. Look, you're a great guy, but I don't have time to date. I'm not looking for any relationships right now. Joey is my life."

"I understand and that's a nice little speech. But, I wasn't really offering you a relationship.” He held up his fingers to make air quotes. “I like you, Jo. I like talking to you. I like your kid. He's great.” Roy's gaze fell on Joanne's face. “Why are you smiling?"

"You called me Jo."

"Yeah, so?"

"My dad used to call me Jo."

"Used to? Did he pass away?"

"No."

"But, he doesn't call you Jo anymore?"

"He doesn't call at all anymore and neither does my mother."

"Then what did you say?” Sheila asked while she stood in Joanne's closet.

"Not much. Not really. I only told him that my parents don't keep in contact with me anymore.” Joanne picked at the pillow she held in her arms. It had been three days ago that she had this conversation with Roy and now here she was recounting it for her friend.

"What'd he say?"

"That he was sorry. God, what else was he supposed to say?"

"You didn't tell him...?"

"No. But, I wanted to."

"So, why didn't you?"

"I don't know. I guess I..."

"You what?"

"I'm not ready to share something so personal with him."

"Good."

"What?"

"Good. There's still hope for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Joanne, don't fall for him. Don't let him get under your skin. God, don't let him get in your head!"

Joanne threw herself across her bed and hugged the pillow close to her chest. “There'd have to be a door first, for him to get in, right?"

Sheila put down the sweater she'd been holding up to her chest and admiring her reflection in the small dresser mirror. “A door?"

"I don't have any doors. Nothing. No one can get in.” Joanne mumbled into the pillow.

"You're way too young to be saying stuff like that."

"Oh, and you're the expert?"

"Smart ass.” Sheila picked up the sweater again then tossed it at Joanne's head. “Hey, let's have a girls’ night out."

"I don't know..."

"It's Saturday, there's no work tomorrow. Sadie will watch the boys. Why not?"

Joanne tossed the pillow aside, sat up and folded the sweater her friend had thrown at her. Resolution flooded through her. “You're right. Why not? Where should we go?” The more she thought about it, the more excited she got. There was a restlessness inside of her that needed to be released.

"How about that new place in Centre Ybor? What's it called, Chevy's?"

"Have you been there?"

"Once when it was The Blue Moon, but not since they changed owners. I hear it's prime."

"Prime?"

"Yeah, get with the times, girlfriend. And, you gotta wear this sweater.” Sheila motioned to the bit of fluff on the bed.

"I must have been out of my mind when I bought this thing.” Joanne held the sweater up between her finger and thumb. She flicked the tag still attached. “I was thinking of taking it back."

"Rip that tag off. I'll go talk to Sadie about babysitting the boys; you get yourself all dolled up. We're gonna have some fun tonight.” Sheila hurried from the room and tossed back as she rushed to the door. “No sloppy jeans with that sweater, I want to see some leg!"

Joanne laughed. Her heart lifted and she shivered as excitement built up inside. A night out just might be fun. She hurried to tell Joey that he and Justin would be going to Miss Sadie's for a few hours.

"Stop pulling at your skirt!” Sheila playfully slapped at Joanne.

"I feel so exposed. I can't believe I let you talk me into cutting the hem two inches."

"Just leave it alone, it looks fine.” Sheila tottered on her high heels pulling Joanne along to the bright neon lights outlining the front doors of the nightclub.

"And these boots, who wears these things?” Joanne cast a doubtful glance at the shiny leather encasing her slim calves then looked around at the crowd hurrying into club. “Never mind. God, I feel so old."

"Come on, forget it. We're here to have fun.” Sheila held out her driver's license for the large, dark man guarding the door.

He nodded to let her know it was all right to go through. He held up his hand in front of Joanne. “Not you,” he said in a thick Caribbean accent.

"But, I'm with her.” Joanne pointed at Sheila standing just inside the door.

"Twenty-one.” The bouncer pointed to a sign next to the door.

"But, I am twenty-one.” Joanne pleaded.

"Do you have ID?"

"Sure, hang on, it's in here somewhere.” Joanne fumbled through her purse searching for her wallet. She rummaged around then pulled out a small racecar and handed it to the bouncer.

He gave the tiny car a bemused look and waited.

Joanne gave him a small smile as she took the car from him and replaced it with her driver's license. “My son's.” she said as a way of explanation.

"No problem, miss.” The bouncer handed her license back and lifted the rope to let her through.

Only a few steps into the darkness, deep bass thuds slammed Joanne's body. Deafening music assaulted her ears, while flashing colored lights blinded her. All senses disoriented, she grabbed for Sheila's arm and hung on as if her life depended on it.

"Come on, let's get a drink first.” Sheila pulled Joanne through the mass of closely pressed bodies toward the bar.

A small woman with her bright, neon red hair pulled into a pony tail on the top of her head slid two small drink napkins in front of Sheila and Joanne as they climbed onto the last two bar stools.

"What'll ya have?"

"Martini, with a lemon twist,” said Sheila.

"How ‘bout you, honey."

Joanne stared back at the bartender. “I dunno. Uh, beer I guess."

"Bottle or draft?"

Joanne turned to Sheila with fear in her eyes.

"Give her a bottle of MGD Lite."

Letting out the breath she'd been holding, Joanne smiled her gratitude to her friend.

Sheila paid for the drinks then led Joanne to a small table on a high pedestal just to one side of the dance floor.

Joanne tilted the bottle of beer and let the cold liquid slide down her throat. The bubbles burst in her mouth, while a bitter aftertaste tickled her tongue. Grimacing, she stared wide-eyed at the scene around her.

She jumped when a hand tapped her on the shoulder. Fearful, she turned. It was Sheila.

"What?"

Sheila's mouth moved but Joanne couldn't hear the words. She moved closer to her friend.

"I said, what do you think of the place?"

"Oh,” Joanne yelled back. “It's loud."

Sheila wiggled and swayed to the music as she yelled back to Joanne. “Isn't it great?” Then, Sheila grabbed Joanne's arm. “Look. Over there."

Joanne turned.

"No, don't look now."

Joanne turned back.

"Now. Look. Quick."

"What? What am I looking at?"

"The tall guy, over there.” Sheila pointed. “Blond hair. Red polo shirt."

Joanne scanned the room in the direction Sheila pointed.

Again, Sheila grabbed her arm. “Wait, don't look.” Then she squealed. “Uh oh, he's coming over here. Quick, do I look all right?"

Joanne turned to her friend. Her short hair was spiked with gel. She wore enough make up to knock ten years off her age. Considering the tiny, see through shirt and short mini skirt she was wearing, she made the perfect teenager. “You look fine. Relax."

The tall blond man in the red polo shirt stopped at their table. He leaned on one elbow and swept both women with a glance that made Joanne feel as if she were being inspected. She watched as Sheila sucked in her tummy and jutted her chest out just a bit. She bit her lower lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"Hi,” the man said to both, but looking at Sheila.

"Hi, yourself.” Sheila answered for both of them.

"I'm Rick. Your first time here?” He leaned in closer to be heard as he deliberately lowered his voice.

Sheila shook her head. The spiked ends not budging in the breeze. “Not me.” She pointed at Joanne. “It's my friend's first time."

"Hey,” Rick turned to Joanne. “Welcome to the Zone."

"Thanks, but I thought it was called Chevy's?"

His mouth widened into a grin, as he laughed. “It is. The Zone is this part of the bar. It's broken up into separate places.” Rick turned to Sheila as if they shared a joke. “She really hasn't been here before, has she?"

Sheila giggled and shook her head again.

Joanne didn't know what else to say so she took another sip of her beer. She watched the flirtatious display between Rick and Sheila.

Lost in her amusement, Sheila startled her by asking if she minded while they went and danced.

Joanne waved them to the floor with a flourish of her hand. “Go on, that's what we came for, right?"

Sheila squeezed her shoulder as she passed behind her. “Loosen up,” Sheila whispered.

Loosen up? Joanne scoffed. I am loose. Look at me. Loose as a goose. She flipped her hair back with a flick of her wrist. Instead of hitting air, her hand smacked hard against a solid body.

"Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.” Joanne turned quickly to offer an apology to the dark, tanned man standing behind her.

"Hey, don't worry about it. No harm done."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Look,” he said as he slowly ran his hands down the front of his chest and cocked his hips seductively.

Embarrassed, Joanne looked away.

"Is the little bird shy?” The man moved closer to Joanne and leaned an elbow on the table.

"No. I'm not shy. Just...” Joanne fumbled for something to say.

"Do I make you nervous?” He dipped his head to speak close to her ear.

Joanne took a step back from the dark brown eyes staring intently at her. “Not nervous. I usually don't let people get that close to me when I don't even know their name."

"A cold little bird, no?” He reached out a hand to touch her hair.

"Don't touch my hair, please.” Joanne stepped back again. The low rail surrounding the dance floor pressed into her back. She was cornered.

"Don't fly away, my little bird. Carlos will warm you."

"Carlos?” Joanne smiled. She signaled with her finger. “Come here, Carlos."

Eagerly, he stepped forward, close to the beckoning woman.

Joanne stood on tiptoes to put her mouth close to Carlos’ ear. His heavy cologne enveloped her senses. She coughed. Leaning away to take a deep breath, she breathed deep, even as tears gathered in her eyes from the strong scent. It threatened to gag her. In her most serious tone she said, “Carlos, if you come near me again or try to touch me, I'll scream bloody murder right here, right now."

Carlos stepped back as if he'd been burned. “Shit, bitch, all I wanted was a dance.” He turned on a well-polished heel and sauntered away muttering about cold fish.

Joanne positioned herself back at the tall table and cradled her beer between both shaking hands.

"Nice job."

Joanne steeled herself for another round when she looked up into warm blue eyes behind a pair of small round glasses. The voice spoke again, “I thought I'd have to come over and rescue you, but looks like you can handle yourself.” He thrust out a hand, “I'm Dan. Daniel Pritchard, to be exact."

Hesitating, Joanne shook his hand quickly then dropped it. She kept her eyes on her beer. “Hi. Joanne."

"Just Joanne?” Dan inquired.

"For now.” Joanne couldn't help but smile a little.

"I'll accept that. I take it this is your first time here?"

"How'd you...” Looking up, Joanne met smiling blue eyes and a handsome face with a warm grin.

"Carlos. He has instant radar for the new girls."

Joanne shuddered. “What a pile of slime."

"You'd be surprised at how many girls fall for his line."

"They must be desperate,” Joanne said with a laugh, “or drunk!"

Dan's laugh joined hers. “Or both!"

There laughter drifted to an end. Despite the deafening music, an uncomfortable silence floated between them. Joanne turned and watched the gyrating bodies on the dance floor.

"Look, Joanne. Would you like to dance?"

Joanne hesitated.

"I'm not trying to pick you up or anything. I just thought, well, since you're here, you'd wanna dance or something."

Joanne considered her options—dance or something. She grinned at the nervous man standing in front of her and grabbed his hand to lead him to the dance floor. “Let's dance."

Pressing through the crowd, Joanne made eye contact with Sheila as she led Dan to a small open space on the dance floor. Sheila smiled wide and gave her the thumb's up sign.

Turning to Dan, Joanne sent him a furtive glance and began to sway uncertainly to the music.

"Come on, loosen up!” Dan caught her by the hips and pulled her close.

"Don't.” Joanne wrenched herself away. Shocked at her own reaction, Joanne half-turned as if to go back to the table.

Holding his hands high, Dan backed up the few steps he could without bumping into another person. “Hey, no problem.” He smiled, then moved to the music. “See, look,” he said, “no hands."

Unable to resist his easygoing manner, Joanne smiled back and tried again. Just like riding a bicycle. She laughed.

"There you go.” Dan laughed with her. “That's more like it."

Two dances later they returned breathless to the table to quench their thirst. Sheila was already sitting there with Rick looking very cozy.

Dan tapped Joanne on the shoulder and asked her if she wanted another beer.

"Please.” Joanne smiled her thanks then leaned back in her chair. Waving her hand back and forth, she attempted to fan herself. Not getting any cooler, she pulled the neckline of her sweater away from her sticky body and blew down the front of her breasts trying to make a breeze. “God, it's hot."

"Why don't you let me do that?” Dan asked when he returned with the beers.

"No thanks, this will work just fine.” Joanne held the cold bottle against her forehead, letting it slide down the side of her face to her neck.

"What I wouldn't do to be that bottle of beer right now.” Dan leaned close to whisper in Joanne's ear.

"Whoa there, big fella.” Joanne stopped the wayward path of Dan's fingers as they ventured toward the V of her sweater. “Did I give you permission to put your hands there?"

"Well, no but you wanted to, right?” Dan smiled and leaned in again.

"When I want you to, you'll know it."

"Bang!” Rick shot Dan with is finger.

"Ow, ya got me!” Dan clutched his chest and fell back against his chair.

Sheila laughed then announced, “I have to go to the little girls’ room. So do you, Joanne."

"What is it with women? Is it some sorta law that they have to go to the bathroom in two's?” Rick asked.

"Ya got me, bro, I'm still trying to figure the chicks out."

Sharing a laugh, the two men clinked their beers together in a toast to figuring out women as Sheila and Joanne fought their way from the table into the direction of the ladies’ room.

Quickly weaving in and out through the crowd, Sheila dragged Joanne behind her. She stopped when she reached the long line for the ladies’ room. “So, I really gotta go, but I wanted to talk to you.” She stomped her feet and pressed her thighs together. “Shit, I gotta piss like a fuckin’ racehorse!"

Joanne didn't need a mirror to see that her jaw dropped to the floor. She could almost feel the cold tile on her chin.

"Don't look at me like that. It's not like you never heard me swear before."

"Yeah, but..."

"It's the bar scene. Get a few drinks in me and I start sounding like a ten dollar whore from Nebraska Avenue."

"Geez, Sheila, I'm seeing a whole new side to you."

Twisting her head from side to side, Sheila watched the line to the ladies room move at a snail's pace. “Look at this fuckin’ line. Around the corner and down the street for us, but the guys go right in!"

"It's like that every where—concerts, football ga-hey!"

"Come on,” Sheila grabbed Joanne's arm.

"We can't go in there!"

"Why not?"

Joanne tried to reason with her friend as she was dragged to the door of the men's room. “Well, because it's not right."

"Lame.” Sheila stepped behind Joanne and gave her a push through the men's door, encouraged by the cries of support from the other women in line.

"Well, whadda need me for?"

"You have to stand guard so no creeps try to get into my stall."

"Fine, just hurry, okay?"

Joanne kept her eyes averted from the row of occupied urinals against the far wall as she and her friend shuffled into the bright light of the men's restroom. A few startled glances quickly turned into whistles.

"Lost, darlin'?"

Sheila was quick to retort, “Gotta take a piss, so shove off."

"Bitch."

"Right back at ya.” Sheila slammed the stall door closed then yelled from the inside. “Fuck! No toilet paper! Jo can you find me some?"

Embarrassed, Joanne slunk into the next stall praying that it had plenty of toilet paper. Rolling a generous portion around her hand, she pushed the entire wad under the stall toward Sheila. “Here, take this."

"Okay, ladies. Let's go. The men's room is no place for you.” Looking up, Joanne saw that the voice belonged to another dark man dressed in dark clothing. He could have been the twin of the man who carded her at the door.

Sheila pulled open the stall door then rearranged her skirt. Joanne grabbed her arm and whispered. “Come on, let's get out of here."

The bouncer put himself between the women and the gawking men. “Now, stay back, fellas."

Amidst jeers of “come on, let ‘em stay” to promises of “action", the bouncer escorted the women out of the men's room to a standing ovation from the women in line for the ladies’ room.

Sheila curtsied proudly while Joanne hung her head, her face hot and flushed. “God, I can't believe we just did that."

"Hey, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.” She grabbed Jo's hand and pulled her back toward the semi-quiet area with the payphones. “Come on, I still gotta talk to you."

Leaning up against the wall, letting the cold bricks cool her off, Jo looked at her friend expectantly.

"I think Rick and I are really hitting it off."

"No, really?” Joanne couldn't help but let her sarcasm show through.

"Oh, come on, he's not that bad."

"No, I guess not, if you like the octopus type."

"He wants me to go home with him."

"Ah, Sheila, do you think that's a good idea, I mean you just met, right?"

"I think he's worth the risk.” Quickly turning the focus from her to her friend, Sheila asked, “So, what do you think of Dan? You know, he's dying to take you home."

"He's dying to get his hands on me."

"I think you can hold your own. You sure told him at the table. Besides, I want Rick to take me home. I like him, Jo.” Sheila winked. “I mean, come on, do you know how long it's been since I've had a good hard lay? I'm bursting here.” Laying her hands on Joanne's arms, she dropped her head and pulled the long faced puppy dog look out as her final weapon.

"Okay, I don't want to spoil your fun. You have so little of it as it is.” She laughed at her friend. “Why don't we just play it by ear for now, okay?"

"I mean it. You should let Dan take you home. Who knows, maybe you'll hit it off."

"Yeah, or I'll knock it off."

Laughing together, the girls made their way through the crowd and tried to locate their table. Before going ten feet, Joanne felt a hand grip her shoulder. She turned quickly and asked, “What are you doing?"

"Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings."

Sheila groaned when she heard the bad pick up line. She pushed her way between the loser and her friend, shoving at his chest to make him back up.

Joanne replied, “Give it up, pal. I'm not playing."

The tall blond fell back as if struck and clutched his chest. “Quick someone call the cops, this beautiful lady just stole my heart!"

Those in the crowd nearest to them laugh. Sheila and Joanne took the opportunity to duck through the crowd and hurry to their table.

"Can you believe guys are still using those old lines?” Sheila locked arms with her friend. “Those lines were old when I was in high school."

"Ah, come on, you're not that old.” Jo giggled. “Well, okay, you're a little old. At least older than me!"

"What are you two laughing about?” Rick asked when the girls returned to their table.

Joanne and Sheila exchanged looks then burst into giggles again. “Nothing, nothing at all,” Sheila said as she snuggled closer to Rick. “We just heard something funny on the way back from the bathroom."

Dan turned to Joanne and leaned in so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek, “did you miss me?"

Pretending not to hear, Joanne took a long drink of her warm beer. Grinning at her friend she swallowed hard; determined to make the best of her situation. She didn't want to stand in the way of her friend's good time and she knew if the tables were turned, Sheila would be there for her. Knowing that she'd probably live to regret her decision, she resolved to have a good time tonight and help her friend have a good time as well.

One more dance turned to two, then three as the night wore on. Joanne switched to soda hoping the thudding buzz in her head would go away. She didn't know what was harder to accomplish—trying to stay cool or keeping Dan at bay.

Not to be dissuaded, Dan tried again. “So, I hear you're going to need a ride home."

Feigning interest in the couples on the dance floor, Joanne's stomach churned. The watered down soda wasn't settling well. Her head throbbed in time with the bass beat. A quick kick to her ankle brought her attention back to the table. “Ow, okay, I get the message,” she muttered between clenched teeth.

"I do believe that Dan was asking you a question, hon.” Sheila smiled, but her eyes pleaded with Joanne.

Still muttering, Joanne looked straight at her friend and said, “you're gonna owe me big.” Then, she turned to the man sitting next to her and said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do need a ride home. And, if you're ready, so am I."

"Well, hot damn, little lady, let's go.” Dan drained his bottle of beer and slammed the empty on the table. Slapping his new friend Rick on the back, he stood to one side so Joanne could slide out from behind the table.

Joanne shivered a bit as they left the bar and stepped out into the night. The bright white lights strung around the lampposts and across the street looked like someone had left the Christmas lights up year-round. So this is what Ybor City looks like. Joanne mused.

Dan tried to pull her close as they walked. “Commere, honey, my car's this way, in the parking garage."

Joanne let herself be led away from the bright lights to the garage that looked like a large warehouse. Hesitant to go into the large building, she asked, “Are you sure that cars are parked in there?"

"You're a funny little chick,” Dan said. “The city wants to make some sort of retro statement, so the buildings all look like this."

Their steps echoed loudly as they walked into the first floor. The orange glow of the overhead lights gave every vehicle the same strange hue. Joanne didn't have a clue what color Dan's car was.

She settled herself into the front bucket seat, while Dan walked around and got in the driver's side.

"Nice car,” was all she could think of to say.

"Thanks, hey, are you sure you're ready to go home?” Dan leaned in a little closer. His shoulder molded to hers. The touch almost intimate.

"Why, what do you have in mind?” Joanne pulled away, putting as much space as she could between the two of them, despite the cramped quarters of the small sports car.

I thought maybe you might want to take a drive out to the causeway and, well...” Dan's hand left the gearshift and crept over to Joanne's exposed thigh.

Pushing aside his exploring fingers, Joanne responded firmly, “No, I'm sure, I want to go home."

"Okay, you're the boss."

Although he removed his hand from her leg and told her she was the ‘boss', Joanne knew that Dan wasn't going to quit yet. Doubting her ability to handle him and reconsidering her decision to let him take her home, she pondered her options. They'd driven away from the bright lights of Ybor City and traveled under the I-4 Interstate. Warehouses gave way to boats and soon Tampa Bay shimmered under the full moon.

"Hey, wait a minute, this isn't the way to my house.” Joanne peered through the dark tinted windows looking for familiar street signs.

"I'm just taking the scenic route, baby."

"Stop the car."

"Aw, come on, loosen up. We can have some real fun."

"I said, stop the car now!” Joanne pushed herself up from the seat and grabbed at the steering wheel and keys.

"Hey, knock it off, you're gonna get us killed!"

"Stop the car, let me out, right now!"

"Okay, okay. Damn, woman, chill out."

Pulling at her seatbelt, Joanne stabbed her hand at the release, trying to escape from its confinements. Adrenalin raced through her body. She caught her breath when she felt the car slow. In one slow, low whistle, she released her breath, nearly giddy when the car finally stopped moving. “Let me out.” She pulled at the handle on the door. “Now. Let me out now."

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought we could go somewhere and get to know each other, you know, without the noise and all that."

Seeing real remorse on his face, Joanne felt guilty for yelling at him so quickly. “Maybe I overreacted just a bit.” Joanne clutched her purse to her chest. She relaxed her grip and even tried to smile.

"There ya go.” Dan shifted in his seat and leaned over the console. “Let's just sit right here and get to know each other a little better.” He slid his right hand up behind Joanne's seat and tried to pull her closer. “Come on over here."

"I don't think so."

"Come on, just a little kiss. Then tell me you don't think so."

Before she squeezed her eyes shut, Joanne took one look at Dan's gaping mouth heading for her face and swung her hand. It connected with his face with a resounding crack. “You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk, baby. I'm just intoxicated by you."

"Oh brother, get off me."

Dan ignored her protests and tried again.

Fear pierced her heart. Joanne flailed her arms striking Dan on the shoulders and face. “Get off me! Get off!"

"Bitch!"

"Stop! Get off me!” Joanne screamed.

All motion ceased. Silence wrapped the two of them into a separate entity, away from reality. Nothing penetrated the car's interior. With her chest heaving and shaking hands, Joanne pushed her hair out of her face and took a ragged breath. She looked at the man sitting next to her.

He reached across and pushed open the door on her side. Joanne flinched away from having any contact with the animal who tried to attack her.

"Get out, I don't want no friggin’ screaming bitch calling rape."

"Fine, I'd rather walk anyway, than have you drive me home, you creep.” Grabbing her purse, she tumbled out of the seat as fast as she could before the car's tires squealed a painful cry as it drove away.

While the moon managed to light a path wide enough for her to avoid walking too close to the curb, Joanne argued with her conscience.

You were an idiot to leave with him in the first place!

"I suppose, but what are friends for?"

No friend is worth getting raped for!

"I suppose not, but I thought I could handle him."

Bravery always looks better when you're not alone.

"Who's brave now?"

Shut up!

"No, you shut up."

With a nervous giggle, Joanne snapped herself back to the situation at hand. She searched for a payphone or a convenience store along the side of the street.

Nothing.

Then headlights broke through as a car turned the corner and headed toward her. Joanne's heart stopped for a second. She didn't know if she should be thrilled or scared. She opted for indifference and pretended as if she were out for an afternoon stroll hoping that the car wouldn't notice her and keep driving by.

It didn't.

The late model Cadillac slowed to a crawl then stopped a few feet away. The dark window slid effortlessly down as the electronics whirred.

Joanne kept walking.

The driver shifted into reverse and backed up slowly to keep pace.

"Hi, Honey."

Joanne looked out of the corner of her eye. Even though it was a moonlit night, she couldn't see very much, only what reflected in the amber glow of his dashboard lights. His sullen face hung like an old bloodhound, extra wrinkles and all. Joanne guessed his age to be mid to late fifties, but that could be the bad lighting. He had a cigar hanging out of his mouth that he removed and clenched between two paunchy fingers on his left hand every time he talked.

"Come on, baby, you're making me work for this when you're working a dead street?"

Keep walking, Joanne, just ignore him and he'll give up and go away.

"Oh, right, like listening to you is a good idea right now?” Joanne whispered through clenched teeth.

Tires spun, gravel flew, and the Cadillac was parked in Joanne's path. Leaning out his window, cigar precariously balanced between two fingers, the old man bellowed at Joanne, “Look you bitch, I don't think you get the picture here. You walk the street. I stop. You get in. I give you money. You blow me. You get out. Got it?"

Fists clenched, Joanne approached the driver's side of the car. “Look, you son-of-a-bitch, I don't think you get it."

She grabbed his cigar and held it out in front of her with both hands. “I'm not a hooker. I'm not a prostitute. I'm not walking the streets for my health. My so-called date just tried to rape me and left me out here to find my own way back home. I'm tired, my feet hurt, and I'm sick to death of men and their shit. So, if you'd like me to get in your car ... this is what's going to happen."

The cigar broke neatly in half between her two hands then dropped to the ground.

Muttering “crazy bitch” the old man threw his car into drive and spun the wheel quickly to the right. Joanne heard one more “stupid crazy bitch” before the soft whir of the windows cut off his comments as he drove away into the night.

You are a crazy bitch, you know that?

"Yeah, well so are you. Ignore him and he'll go away. Sheesh!"

Biting her lower lip, Joanne took a deep breath and peered into the night toward the Interstate. In the darkness she could hear the waves lapping against the dock and the low moan of a boat weighing hard against its tethered lines. A faint wisp of salty breeze made her lick her lips and cringe at the after taste.

"Why aren't there any streetlights?"

What for? The boats?

"Well, people do have to drive to their boats, don't they?"

Good point, I'll give you that one. Speaking of streets, shouldn't you be walking on this one instead of standing on it?

"I'm just trying to get my bearings is all."

Uh, huh. You're scared. So am I.

From where she stood, she could hear the low thump-thump from the tires of the cars as they made impact with the road seams as they raced along the overpass.

All I gotta do is walk to the other side of that bridge. I'm sure there's a Seven-Eleven or something like it on the other side. I'll call a cab. It can't be more than ten bucks. Whatever it is, it's worth it.

Even if you have to dip into Joey's birthday party money?

Shuddering, Joanne refused to think about what would happen if she had to use any part of Joey's party savings. How would she ever explain to her son that he couldn't have his birthday at Chuck E. Cheese because his mommy was stupid enough to go with a stranger?

Every few hundred feet, Joanne had to stop and rub the sides of her feet and the back of her heels. The pain was making walking normal difficult and the more she tried, the more she limped.

"God, if I step on one more stone I swear I'll take these damn boots off here and now and throw them in the bay!"

Then what'll you'll walk in, smarty-pants?

"Keep it up, and I'll throw you in the bay along with the boots."

Bright headlights gleamed behind her, lighting the street ahead.

Squaring her shoulders, Joanne prepared to defend herself again, praying that the car would just drive by. What did Sheila always tell her? God doesn't give out more than He thinks you can handle?

Her heart thudded against her ribs as the car slowed behind her. She forced herself to stay facing forward.

The bright lights stayed behind her, then they were mixed with red and blue flashing lights.

Head hung low, Joanne let out a defeated sigh, God, you really must have me mixed up with someone else!

Before slamming the door of his locker, Roy tossed in his patrol shoes. He winced only slightly when they bounced off the back of the locker wall. It would cost him a couple extra minutes of polishing tomorrow morning, but right now, he just wanted to get away from the station as quickly as possible. It had been a rough shift tonight; weekends always were. It was going to take more than a few drinks to block tonight's hardest call from his mind.

Gun drawn, he'd carefully pushed the front door the rest of the way open, stepping over the splintered door jam and useless chain lock. The hairs on the back of his neck tingled with recognition as he stepped over the threshold from the present into the past.

It had been five years, but it could have been five seconds for all his senses knew. The scene skewed in his mind. One moment he was there in the present, working the crime scene, and the next moment, he was back, walking through his own home, seeing for the first time, what that bastard had done to his own family.

"Yo, Bonham, you still here?"

"I'm off duty and just leaving.” Roy yelled back to the unseen officer making his way through the locker room.

"Wait up."

Shoving his arms through his leather jacket, Roy said, “Come on, man, can't it wait. It was a rough night, it's after midnight, and I'm outa here."

The officer rounded the last set of lockers and plopped down in front of Roy. “No way, man. You ain't gonna believe who I picked up tonight. Walking the streets down by the docks?"

"Ellis, I don't have time for your riddles tonight. Either spill it, or I'm outa here."

"That blond little piece of ass you've been chasing—"

Before Ellis could finish his sentence, he found himself flattened against a set of lockers and three inches above the floor. “What the fuck is the matter with you, Bonham?"

"Who did you pick up for streetwalking?"

"I didn't exactly say..."

Roy's hand tightened around Ellis’ throat.

Legs kicking and hands clawing at Roy's chokehold, Ellis gave in and squeaked out, “Okay, okay. Shit, man, can't you take a little joke?"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes."

"No shit,” he complained as he rubbed his throat.

"Out with it.” Roy's hands threatened to choke Ellis again.

"Malone. Joanne Malone. I found her out near the docks, west of I-4, dressed in a mini skirt and a tight sweater that barely covered her—"

The expression on Roy's face made him change his mind about going into any more detail. “Well, here” he thrust a piece of paper at Roy. “You read it for yourself. It's all in my report."

"You wrote up a report? Don't you have anything better to do, Ellis?"

"Hey, I just thought you might like an official record of the event."

Snatching the piece of paper from Ellis, Roy's growl was enough to make Ellis back away and say, “I gotta go."

It didn't matter, Roy never heard him. He was too busy reading every word of the report, and then reading it again.

...subject dressed in very short black miniskirt

...high-heeled thigh-high shiny black boots

...anonymous call from male claiming prostitute accosted him near docks where subject was found...

Skimming words he'd already read he searched the report for Joanne's statement.

Subject stated her date attempted to become too friendly and left her near the docks to walk home alone.

Roy wondered if these were Joanne's words or Ellis'? There was only one way to find out.

The pounding in her head echoed between her ears. Joanne pulled a pillow over her head and tried to muffle the noise. It didn't help. The pounding became more insistent. She opened one eye. The pounding wasn't in her head. It was at her door.

"This better be good,” she muttered.

Taking a quick peek to make sure Joey was still asleep in his bed, she stumbled into the living room.

"Ouch.” Bending over, she rubbed a tender foot and pushed aside the little car she stepped on.

Bam! Bam!

"You pound on my door again, and I'm gonna pound on you!"

"I'd like to see you try.” A familiar voice replied.

"Roy?"

"Who else?"

"I dunno? You could be Ed McMahon with a giant check."

"You gonna let me in?"

Turning the deadbolt, Joanne opened her door to a man she almost didn't recognize. Under the glow of her porch light, Roy stood holding a brown paper bag in one hand and a crumpled piece of paper in the other. Instead of the usual dark green uniform trousers, he wore soft blue jeans and a dark t-shirt under a leather jacket.

"Uh ... that's different,” she said as she backed up to let him in.

"I changed.” Roy handed her the bag. “Do you mind keeping these cold for me?"

"Sure, no problem."

"Ed McMahon doesn't give out checks anymore."

Her head in the refrigerator, Joanne wasn't sure she heard Roy correctly, “What?"

"You said you thought Ed McMahon might be at the door with a big check. I said he doesn't do that anymore."

"Oh, forget it. The way my night has gone with my luck, you could have ended up being a tax collector or worse."

Sitting across from him on the sofa, Joanne watched Roy folding and unfolding the piece of paper he held in his hand. His jaw clenching while his eyes narrowed. His brow furrowed so deep it was obvious he was angry about something.

Another minute went by.

Joanne couldn't stand it a second longer. “Roy, what are you doing here?"

"Do you need money?"

"What?” Joanne laughed uneasily.

"Are you trying to find ways to make some extra money?"

Sitting up straight, Joanne put her feet flat on the floor; she winced as the blisters made contact with the carpet. “What are you implying, Officer Bonham?"

"You were picked up walking the streets over by the docks tonight and you were dressed like a...” he held his hands out in front of him in a helpless gesture.

"Go on.” Joanne said in a flat tone.

"Well, dressed quite provocatively. There was a witness who said—"

"A witness?"

"A call came in on the tip line that there was a, um, hooker with a bad attitude walking the docks. A car was dispatched and you were picked up."

"The man in the Cadillac."

"It was you?” Roy's face fell.

"It's not what you think. Or do you really care?” Joanne leaned her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in her hands. “Do you even want to hear what happened tonight?"

"Wait.” He stood, took off his jacket, and then walked into the kitchen.

Joanne sat on the sofa and waited while the tiny light from the refrigerator came on as Roy rummaged around in the bag she had put in their earlier.

He returned with two brown bottles. He offered her one, already drinking from the other.

He waved his beer at her and said, “go ahead” then settled back into the chair.

"I feel kinda stupid now, thinking back on it.” Joanne started to say. “I really should have just called a cab right from the start, or insisted that Sheila and I leave together."

"You're not telling me what happened."

"You wouldn't either, if you had to tell someone how stupid you were."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Anyway, Sheila and I went to this place in Ybor City. We wanted this girls’ night out kinda thing, ya know? It'd been a long time since I'd been anywhere.” She used her free hand to push back her hair and pull it to one side of her neck. “I can't even remember the last time I went out some place where there wasn't a wooden animal holding his paw out with a sign saying you must be this big to enter."

Roy snorted, covering his face with one hand. “I think I actually made beer come out my nose!"

"Gross!"

"It's your fault.” He wiped his hand on the leg of his jeans and said, “finish your story."

"Sheila met a guy, and she really liked him. I guess she ‘really’ liked him, if you know what I mean. She wanted to go home with him and he lived way out in Town & Country somewhere."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

Roy stared at his bottle while he asked, “did you meet a guy you really liked?"

"No."

"Not even the one that you left with?"

"Dan?” Joanne shifted and took another drink. “As if."

"So, why'd you leave with him?"

"That's where the stupid part comes in. I thought I could handle him. I let myself get talked into it. I pretended he was more sober than he really was. Every fiber in my body screamed at me to not get in that car with him and I did it anyway."

Joanne jumped up from the sofa and paced the small room limping with each step she took. “I'm an idiot. I could have been killed. Or worse! Not likely that he could have actually committed murder, but the asshole could have wrapped his car around a telephone pole or we could have been in a car accident. What would have happened to Joey?” Joanne froze in her pacing. “Joey. Oh my God. Who would have taken care of Joey for me?” Turning to Roy on wobbly legs she asked, “they wouldn't give him to my parents would they?"

Bright lights flashed before her eyes. Grabbing at Roy's arm to keep herself from falling, she could hear herself asking again, “would they?"

The room spun and her voice sounded very far away. She wondered why she could barely hear herself, then in the next second wondered why the room was getting so dark.

Opening her eyes, Joanne looked up to find questioning gray ones looking back at her. “Don't tell me, you think I fainted again?"

"Something like that,” Roy leaned back a bit to give her room to sit up. They sat close together on the sofa.

"I don't—"

"-faint. Right. I know.” Roy laughed. “You did a real good impression of not fainting a few minutes ago. Did a header right into my lap. Uh, sorry about the beer all over the carpet.” He motioned to the wet spot on the floor near the chair and the bottle tipped on its side. “It happened so quick I didn't have a chance to set things right. I just dropped my bottle and made a grab for you before you hit the floor."

"I guess it has been an eventful day, what with that creep trying to ... ugh, and then that old man in the Cadillac.” Joanne's body went rigid. “He said I solicited him?"

"Don't worry about it. He's gone and you're safe at home. Although, I am curious about what you said that made him so mad he'd turn you in as a hooker. You must have pissed him off good."

"His proposition was every girl's dream, ya know? Get in and blow me and I'll pay ya. Very memorable. He had this ranky cigar and I just took it from him. I told him I wasn't a prostitute, but I'd get in his car, and if I did, this is what I'd do to him.” Joanne held her hands up and made a breaking motion. “I broke his cigar right in front of his face."

A low rumble started deep in Roy's chest. His body shook, which shook the sofa, which made Joanne bounce. She smiled. Then she giggled. They laughed together, rolling fits of laughter that started and stopped again as they exchanged hand gestures and looks.

"Okay, okay,” Joanne wheezed, “I gotta catch my breath."

"Me too."

Small bursts of giggles erupted between deep breaths until the pauses lengthened. Finally, they could look each other in the eye without collapsing into uncontrollable laughter.

"You okay?” Roy asked.

"I think so. You?"

"Finally. I'm sorry you had such a rough night.” He put his hand into his back pocket, leaning over onto Joanne as he did so.

"Mmmmffff."

"Oh, sorry ‘bout that, here.” He slid back over on the sofa and gave her room again. “I want you to take this.” He pulled a card out of his wallet. “It's my cell phone number. Use it whenever you need it."

"I don't think—"

"I mean it.” Roy pushed his card into her hands and folded his hands over hers. “Any time. I don't want you to ever be put in the position again of having to consider taking a ride from a stranger—especially a drunk stranger. Got it?"

Joanne felt the firm pressure of Roy's hands on hers. She looked up into his eyes staring intently down at her. She couldn't say no. She wouldn't say no. He'd been nothing but nice to her since she met him. She smiled back.

"I got it."

"Are you sure?” His hands squeezed hard.

"Yes, I'm sure.” Joanne didn't break eye contact. He's got the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They're so deep and dark.

"Joanne?” Roy whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I need to go."

Joanne blinked. The room refocused. “Oh. Right.” She straightened up and pushed herself forward off the sofa.

Roy backed away and stood up. “Uh, where do you keep your cleaning supplies?"

"Huh? Why?"

He motioned to the spilled beer.

"Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up after you leave.” Needing space, she moved out of the living room away from Roy.

"I made the mess, I should clean it up."

"And if it weren't for me, there wouldn't have been a mess in the first place, okay?” Joanne jerked open the refrigerator door and grabbed the paper bag.

"Look, I can help, between the two of us, we can get it cleaned up in no time."

"Dammit, Roy. It's my freakin’ house.” She thrust the beer into his arms. “Just get the hell out and let me clean up my own friggin’ mess. Got it?"

"You didn't?"

Checking on Joey playing in the corner with Sheila's son, Justin, Joanne nodded. Folding the load of towels she just pulled from the dryer, she continued her story. “I told him to get the hell out of my house and let me clean up my own mess."

"Literally or metaphorically?"

"Very funny. To be honest, the only deep thinking I was doing that night was when I was staring into his eyes. He has the deepest, darkest gray eyes I've ever seen.” Joanne turned away, embarrassed by her admission. “Have you ever noticed his eyes before?"

"Girl, I haven't got passed his other fine assets to get to his eyes.” Sheila fanned herself with a sock.

Shoving her playfully, Joanne laughed. “Shut up."

Sobering quickly, Sheila stopped laughing. “Look, I'm sorry about last night.” Her lip quivered. “I wasn't a very good friend for you, and I'm sorry. I let my hormones get the best of me, and...” Sheila stammered, “and ... all I can think about is you left alone on a dark street to fend for yourself.” She grabbed Joanne around the shoulders and pulled her close. “Can you ever forgive me?"

Sheila sniffled onto Jo's shoulder and said, “I promise, the next time I'll give you the car and I can find my own way home."

Joanne laughed. “There ain't gonna be a next time, ya here?"

'You got it."

Hugging her friend back, Joanne told her, “I was pretty mad at you while I was out there walking in those torture devices you call boots, but I got over it. I might have done the same thing if I had the same opportunity you had. So, who knows? The main thing to focus on is I made it home safely, right?” She gave her friend a smile.

Sniffling, Sheila smiled back. “R-r-right."

"Now, come on. Quit your sniveling. You're not gonna get out of doing laundry that easy."

"But, I've gotta do something to make it up to you."

"You can."

"How?"

"We'll need to get it notarized and made legal, but I want you to be Joey's guardian if anything happens to me."

"Are you serious?” Dropping the towel she was folding, Sheila grabbed Joanne's arm. “Are you really serious?"

"Yes, listen. The one thing that scared me most of all, worse than being raped by that creep or getting picked up as a hooker, was dying and leaving Joey here all alone."

"Oh my God, Jo—"

"I know, listen. I mean it. I want you to raise Joey if anything should happen to me. He can't go to my parents. He just can't.” The folded clothes bounced when Joanne slapped her hand hard against the wobbly table.

"Okay, hon. I'll do it.” Taking a second to glance over at the boys playing in the corner, oblivious to the serious conversation between their mothers. “No one will take that little angel so long as I'm around.” Inhaling sharply, she turned back to the task at hand. “Come on, let's get these clothes folded before our entire Sunday is gone."

Another Monday came and went at the clinic for Joanne. She limped across the sidewalk anticipating a quick dinner with Joey then letting him play while she relaxed with her feet up. The blisters on her feet still hurt, and a full day of standing had been about all she could take. She patted the pocket of her uniform smock that contained her salvation. Dr. Stanton gave her some analgesic and antibiotic cream samples to rub on her feet. She intended to make full use of them after she put Joey to bed.

With a tummy full of spaghetti, his jammies on, and teeth brushed, Joey was eager to grab his pillows and make a nest on the floor in front of the television to watch a movie.

"Which one, Joey?"

"Toy Story! Toy Story!"

"Okay, settle down and let me get it started.” Smiling at her son, Joanne slid the cassette into the player and pushed play. She ruffled his blond hair and bent over to kiss the top of his head.

Wriggling out of her grasp, Joey squirmed away to make sure his view of the television was unobstructed.

Laughing, Joanne let him go with a whispered, “excuse me.” For the next sixty minutes or so, she would be able to put her feet up and rest. Pure luxury.

Buzz Lightyear had just discovered he couldn't actually fly when a knock sounded at the door.

Joey sprang from his pillows and tapped her none too gently on the head, “Mommy, someone's knockin',” before he ran for the door.

Not moving quite as fast as her son, Joanne pulled her legs down from their position on the back of the sofa and swung herself around upright. “Hang on, kiddo, I'll get it."

"No, me get it."

"Joey, stop right there. What did we agree?” Joanne's voice rose.

Joey froze in place. He put his hands in his mouth. “Mommy always ansfers the door."

"That's right.” Joanne gave him a hug. “Now, step back.” She checked the locks, made sure her baseball bat was in reach, and looked out the peephole.

After opening the door, Joanne asked, “Is this official business, Officer Bonham?"

"Woy!"

Before he could answer, a flash of blond clung to one of his legs.

"I knewed you would tum back."

Kneeling down as much as his uniform and equipment would allow him, he untangled Joey from his leg. “Hey there, sport. Did you miss me?” Roy asked the little boy but was looking up at his mother.

Not quite sure if she should answer, Joanne instead focused on the picture they made. “Come on in. Let's not give the neighbors’ any more to talk about than we already have, okay?"

Roy lifted Joey and carried him into the apartment while Joanne followed and shut the door behind.

"Ouch, son-of-a-.” Wincing, she nudged aside the toy soldier she accidentally stepped on. Limping to the sofa, she sat down as Joey whispered into Roy's ear.

Joanne watched Roy whisper back into Joey's ear. Not sure she liked the conspiracy linking these two together, she watched her son nod his head up and down while he slid down from Roy's grasp. Just as fast as his little legs could carry him, Joey raced down the hall, bumping into walls, yelling back, “I'm all wight!"

"What are you two up to?"

"Your son tells me you have some boo-boo's on your feet."

"They're nothing."

"Really?” Roy stood with his hands on his hips. “Then get up and walk across the floor, shuffling your feet."

"Maybe I don't feel like it right now."

"Uh huh. And maybe you can't admit when you need help."

"Stand back.” Joanne stood. Gritting her teeth, she put one foot on the floor and then the other. Tossing her hair back and tightening her ponytail, she faced Roy just as Joey ran back in the living room with a large towel.

"God, you're cruel."

"And you're about the most stubborn woman I've ever met. Can you admit just once that you need my help?"

"What help?” Joanne asked with a hint of suspicion in her voice?

"Just trust me.” He laughed a bit at the shocked look on her face. “I'm a cop remember?” He laughed again as her shocked look grew more comical. “I've seen blistered feet before."

"We'll need a...” he looked at her feet, “very large bowl or pot."

"Hey, my feet aren't big!” Pushing at Roy with her hands, Joanne tried to hide her feet under the towel Joey had placed at the end of the sofa.

"My mommy has widdle feet."

"You're right, she does. I was just teasing her.” Roy said. “Do you know where there is a big bowl or pot we can use to put your mommy's little feet into?"

Joey grabbed Roy's arm and dragged him into the kitchen. From her position on the sofa, Joanne shouted orders while the two of them rattled pots and pans and slammed cupboard doors.

Running back into the living room with the same large pot Joanne had used to make spaghetti for dinner, Joey rushed to the sofa and placed it on the floor near his mother.

Shaking the small white and blue box in his hand, Roy followed at a more sedate pace and asked, “Is this all the Epsom salt you have?"

"Did you find it in the cupboard above the sink?"

"Yeah."

"Then, that's all I have left."

"I guess it's a good thing you have small feet, then, otherwise, we'd need more.” Roy smiled at her.

Oh, God, don't smile at me like that. I function better when you're not being so nice to me.

Without waiting for her to answer, Roy went on to ask, “Do you have any Bactine or other over the counter antibiotic?"

"No, but I have some samples the doctor gave me."

"Great, tell me where they are and I'll get them."

"No, I mean ... I'll get them.” Pushing herself up, Joanne swung her legs off the sofa.

"Oh no you don't.” Roy pushed Joanne's legs back onto the sofa. “You're staying right where you are. Tell me where they are and I'll get them."

"You can't. They're in my ... um ... bedroom ... and I need to go get them."

"You're not walking on those feet tonight. End of discussion.” Roy turned and headed toward the hall. “So, unless you don't want me to turn your bedroom upside down looking for little samples of antibiotics, you'd better tell me where to start."

"Talk about a stubborn bas—” Joanne caught herself before she finished when she saw her son. Joey had watched the exchange between his mother and Roy with wide eyes. Motioning for him to come to her side, she slid her arm around him and held him close.

"Okay, Roy. I give. I'll stay on the sofa. They're in the front pocket of the purple uniform smock laying on the bed.” Hugging Joey close, she whispered in his ear. “Joey, take Roy and show him where mommy's room is, okay?"

"'kay."

"Good boy."

Joey took Roy's hand and together they walked down the hall and disappeared. In only a few minutes they returned, triumphant with the sample packets in their hands.

"So, what's next, Dr. Roy?"

Giving her a quizzical look he checked his surroundings. “Do you have a needle or a pin?"

"Like a sewing needle?"

"Yeah, that'll do.” Looking around, Roy waited to be told where he could find the needle.

"I don't know how to sew.” Joanne knew she should probably be more straightforward with Roy, but this was more fun. Watching his face struggle to stay composed while he went through his questions gave her a sense of pleasure she hadn't felt in a while. The companionship and camaraderie gave her a sense of closeness—a friendship that she hadn't realized she needed.

"Safety pin?"

"Safety pin? Let me think."

"For God's sake, woman. You must have one friggin’ pin around here somewhere?” Roy stormed into the kitchen. Cupboard doors slammed open and shut.

Realizing she'd pushed him a bit too far, Joanne called out, “In the bathroom, second shelf of the medicine cabinet. There's a Sucrets box. Inside you'll find some pins. Take your pick."

After Roy returned with the pin, he filled the pot with hot water and Epsom Salt. Ordering Joanne to soak her feet for ten minutes, he and Joey returned to the kitchen.

Feeling strangely left out, Joanne could only listen to their conversation.

"Don't touch."

"What's that for?"

"To fix your mommy's feet."

"Won't it hurt?"

"No, I don't think so. You're mommy's tough."

"Fire hot."

"Yes, fire is hot. You should never touch fire."

"Fire hurt mommy!"

"The pin won't be hot when it touches mommy, don't worry, Joey."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"'kay."

"All right, we're done. You carry the bandages and I'll carry the rest, okay?"

Joanne heard the scratching of chairs on linoleum and shuffling of little feet as she imagined her son scuffling to catch up with Roy and help.

Sitting at the foot of the sofa, Roy lifted Joanne's feet from the water and sat them in his lap and wrapped them in the towel. He called Joey to him. “Can you be a brave boy, Joey?"

Nodding his head, Joey said, “Yes."

"Good, I need you to help take care of your mommy. Go stand by her head and hold her hands, okay?"

"'kay.” Joey stood near his mommy and grabbed her hands.

"Good boy. Now don't let go until I tell you."

Glancing at Joanne, he checked her reaction and asked, “Ready?"

"Go for it."

For the next fifteen minutes, Roy carefully drained each blister, applied the analgesic and antibiotic, and then covered it with a Rugrats band-aid.

"They're all I have.” Joanne replied to Roy's raised eyebrow when he held up the Band-Aid in question.

With her feet properly treated, Joanne sighed with relief. She hugged her son, “Thank you, Joey."

"You did a very good job, Joey. You helped your mommy stay brave.” He handed Joey the box of band-aids. “Now, let's get this mess cleaned up for your mommy."

Joanne watched as Roy systematically cleaned up pot, water, and band-aid wrappers. With little unnecessary motion, the room was restored to order. Even Joey's toys were picked up and put away.

Twisting her wrist to see her watch, she struggled to unwrap her feet from the towel.

"What are you doing?"

"I've got to put Joey to bed."

"No you don't."

"It's his bed time."

"I can do it."

"Roy, you've done more than enough.” She stopped and looked him up and down. “Besides, aren't you still on duty?"

"I'm on my dinner break."

A blank look crossed Roy's face. Joanne knew instinctively that he just remembered something he'd forgotten.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You forgot about something you were supposed to do."

"Nothing important.” He shook himself. “I still have a few minutes left. I'll put Joey to bed, you stay where you are."

"But—"

"I mean it."

"Yes, sir."

"That's more like it."

"Yeah, well don't get used to it.” She said to his back.

Bending over, Roy picked up Joey and lifted him up. “Ready for bed, squirt?"

"What about mommy?"

"Mommy can't walk yet, so I'm going to tuck you in, how's that sound?"

"Good."

"Good.” Holding Joey out over Joanne, he dangled him down so he could give his mommy a goodnight kiss.

"I love you.” She held him tight and kissed him twice. “Good night Joey. Be a good boy for Roy, okay?"

"I wuv you, mommy.” He wriggled back up into Roy's arms. “Tum on, Woy."

Traveling west on Kennedy, Roy stopped at a red light at Howard Avenue.

You shouldn't have stayed so long tonight. You should have just told her what needed to be done and walked away. Instead, you blow off your dinner to stay with her and her kid.

He slammed his hand against the steering wheel.

Now you're tucking in her kid? Reading him a bedtime story?

You're wandering through her apartment like you live there? Who do you think you are? Her boyfriend?

He snorted.

Watch what you're doing, man; you don't need these kind of complications, remember?

As the light turned green, Roy automatically stepped on the accelerator and cruised through the intersection. His radio squawked in the background. The car in front of him turned right without signaling. While contemplating whether to follow and run the vehicle's plates, Roy's cell phone rang.

"Bonham.” He barked into the phone as he turned his cruiser at the same corner.

"Yo, Roy. Where were you tonight?"

"Hey, Tony. Shit, I guess I forgot. Uh. Something came up.” He shifted the phone to the other ear and held it with his shoulder while he kept one hand on the steering wheel and jabbed at his computer. “Hang on a sec.” After entering in the vehicle's license plate number and pushing enter, he returned to his friend, “Look, I'll make it up to ya, okay?"

"It ain't me ya gotta make it up to, man.” Tony retorted. “Paula's the one who's pissed."

"Shit."

"Uh huh."

Roy heard laughter over his phone. “Shut up, what'd she say?"

"You know, Paula. Something about teaching you a lesson about standing her up."

"Great. She knows I don't have a normal job. I can't always be depended on."

"Yeah, she does. But, she also knows you usually call, and she also knows that since we work the same area, if one goes the other usually goes too."

Roy watched the amber colored numbers and words slow to a crawl on the computer screen in front of him.

"Roy?"

"Huh?"

"Shit man, what's up with you tonight? Anyway, if you were planning on ditching Paula tonight, the least you could have done was let me in on your plan, so I could have been better prepared."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.” Reading the screen carefully, he made his decision. “Look, Tony, I gotta go. We'll talk later."

After pushing the end button on his cell phone, Roy pushed the clear button on the computer. The driver of the car had no priors and no traffic violations. He wasn't going to start him off with a minor ticket for a signaling infraction. The paperwork and fine were more of a hassle than the slight discretion.

The traffic issue was easy to put out of his mind. Paula wasn't so easy. They'd had an understanding for the last two years. She knew what kind of job he had and he never wanted any strings. Whenever he needed female companionship or a warm body for his bed, Paula was there.

Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed Paula's number.

"How's the feet?"

"Jeez, Roy, you ‘bout scared me to death.” Joanne held a hand over her heart. “My feet are fine, thanks.” Shifting her bag from one shoulder to the other, she knocked on her neighbor's door.

"It's me, Susan—Joanne.” She called out when hearing voices behind the door.

The door flung open and out burst Joey. He stopped short when he saw his mommy wasn't alone. “Woy!” He tossed his backpack at his mother and headed straight toward the uniformed man.

Susan stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. “You okay, Joanne?"

"Yeah, fine, why?"

Susan lifted her chin and used it to point her head toward Roy.

"It's nothing. He just stopped by to check on something."

"I'll be home the rest of the night in case you need anything."

"Thanks.” Picking up Joey's backpack, she unlocked her own door and ushered Joey and Roy into the apartment.

"I can't stay, I just stopped by to check on the lights."

"Oh, right ... the lights."

"Yeah, following up for my report."

"Well, thanks again for what you did for my feet the other night. It worked. They're fine. I can walk again without pain."

"Good. Well, I gotta go. I'm still on duty.” He fumbled for the doorknob.

Watching the exchange between his mommy and Roy, Joey lifted his hand and waved, “bye Woy."

"Bye Joey."

"Will you tum back and weed me a story?"

"Not tonight Joey, Roy's a busy man.” Joanne answered for Roy, before he could think of something to say. He flashed her a grateful, crooked smile and left.

Joanne stood looking at the closed door for a full minute before turning to her son, “Okay, kiddo, let's get us some dinner. How about your favorite, macaroni and cheese?"

"Mommy?"

"Mmmmmm?"

"Roy is sad. Can he tum to my birfday party?"

"I don't think so honey, he'll probably be working.” Tousling his hair back, hoping to distract him, Joanne asked, “Who wants to help me make dinner?"

"Me do!"

"I think it's good he's backing off.” Sheila said.

"So do I...” agreed Joanne as she leaned over her chair to make sure the boys were still sitting on the floor watching a video and playing with Joey's toys.

"But?"

"Huh?"

"There was a ‘but’ at the end of your sentence."

"No there wasn't."

"Don't give me that crap.” Sheila flicked her friend on the upper arm.

"Oww."

"You didn't say it, but you thought it. Out with it."

"I guess I just wish he hadn't done it so abruptly for Joey's sake."

"Ah, for Joey's sake."

"Yes, Joey got attached to him really fast, and I hate to think of him missing Roy like that.” Shoving her hair back from her face, Joanne laid her head in her hands. “It's not fair to such a little kid. He doesn't have a clue about life."

"Who, Joey or Roy?"

"Both!"

Sharing a laugh, the girls toasted each other with their cans of soda. Sheila was the first to stop laughing. “Look hon, I gotta tell ya, it's a good thing that cop isn't gonna be hanging around anymore. People around here weren't very happy about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say that having a cop hang around here puts a cramp in some people's lifestyles.” Worried, Sheila continued. “It's just been talk, but some people are saying they should give you a lesson so you won't bring anymore cops around."

"I'd like to see them try."

"I'm sure it's just all talk, right?"

"Right, and besides, they have nothing to worry about anymore. Now that his paperwork is finished for his report, I doubt Roy will be back. And, hey, we got lights out of it—that should count for something around here."

"I suppose.” Scowling, Sheila said, “I wouldn't bet on it though."

"Why?"

"I've seen the way he looks at you.” Sheila tipped her can toward her friend. “You can't tell me that he was just interested in the lights when he spent nearly an hour here tending to those blisters on your feet and putting Joey to bed."

"I don't know why he did that.” Joanne hung her head.

"I do, and you better watch yourself, girl.” Sheila pushed aside a strand of Joanne's hair to expose an ear. “You don't want to get involved with someone who saves lives for a living.” She smoothed Joanne's hair behind her ear. “Look, hon, it's just not worth it. They risk their lives every day. The stress is hell."

"You're right, of course."

"Damn, right, I am."

"I don't even know why we're sitting here contemplating the future, it's not going to happen. He's gone and I've got more important things in my life to worry about than a man."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I've got Joey. He's the only thing in my life that's important to me. I don't need another complication in my life."

"But—"

"No, I mean it. I'm serious. Joey needs all of my attention. He doesn't need his mother being distracted by some guy who thinks he's competition for my interests."

Hearing his name mentioned, Joey ran into the kitchen to stand at his mother's side. “Besides,” Joanne said, “We have a party to plan,” she tickled her son's ribs to make him giggle, “right?"

"Wight!"

Saturday afternoon, surrounded by a dozen four, five and six year olds, Joanne ordered pizzas from a young girl dressed in a sporty little mouse uniform.

"Okay, that's two large ham with pineapple pizzas, one pepperoni, and three cheese pizzas. Got that?"

"No problem.” The mouse girl snapped her gum. “How many pitchers of soda do ya want?"

Joanne glanced around at the other parents. “Three pitchers of diet Pepsi, two pitchers of Root Beer, and a pitcher of Orange soda."

"Diet Coke okay? We ain't got no Pepsi."

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever.” Joanne brushed her off with a flutter of hands as she did another head count. “Twelve, good."

"Don't worry, hon, we're all here to help out.” Sheila walked up and put an arm around Joanne's shoulders.

"I feel like all these kids are my responsibility. I know these places have extra security and stuff but somehow those perverts get in.” She lowered her voice. “Remember last month?"

"Yeah, but that was a party where only a couple of adults were watching a ton of kids. You've got nearly every parent here watching their own kid."

"I know but, I can't get this weird feeling out of my head."

"Come on, let's go have fun. How about a game of Skee-ball?"

"Let me get Joey."

Joanne and Sheila made their way through the throng of youngsters running this way and that from one game to the next. The atmosphere in the pizza parlor bordered on chaotic, but with some sense of organization. The parents numbered nearly as many as the children and heads constantly swiveled as parents kept a close watch on their children.

Twenty minutes later, cheers and applause announced the arrival of the pizzas and soda. Joanne and Joey hurried to crawl into a booth near a window, while Sheila and Justin grabbed seats across their table.

"Pass the pepperoni."

"Pour me some soda."

"Woot beer!"

"What do you say?"

"Peese!"

"Use your napkin."

Chattering voices, young and old mingled around the tables as everyone settled down to eat.

Just as Joanne sprinkled Parmesan cheese on her pepperoni pizza and held it to her mouth to take a bite, Joey bounced up and hit her elbow. The pizza flipped out of her hands and landed pepperoni side down on the paper plate splashing grease onto her t-shirt.

"Woy!” He pounded on the window. “Woy! Tum here, Woy, tum here!"

"Joey, settle down.” She tried to pull him down from the window. “Get down from there."

Then she saw him. He'd seen Joey and was already walking their way.

"Oh, great."

"It gets better, hon, he's not alone."

Joanne's head spun around. “What?” Dabbing at the pizza grease stain on her t-shirt, she gave up when she saw Roy and the woman he was with enter the large double doors. She watched them speak to the boy monitoring the gate as Roy motioned toward her party. She waved a hand to let the boy know it was okay for them to enter. She smiled as first the back of Roy's hand was stamped and then her grin widened when she saw the horror on the face of the woman Roy was with when the boy placed the stamp on the back of her hand.

Whispers and curious looks passed from parent to parent as Roy was recognized by some of them from the apartment complex. Those who knew him filled the others in on the details or made up what they didn't know.

"Woy! You tame to my birfday party!” Joey cried out, jumping up and down on the bench seat.

"Hey, sport. Just for a minute or two. Then I gotta go."

"I'm surprised to see you, Roy,” was all Joanne could think of to say.

"Yeah, me too,” he mumbled. “Uh, Joanne, this is Paula, Paula this is Joanne, and this is Sheila."

Joanne looked up to meet the coldest pair of blue eyes she'd ever seen. The woman looked completely out of place in her silk blouse and linen skirt.

Roy stumbled his words to further explain, “They, uh, I met them while ... well, it was a police matter, anyway."

"Really? I'm sure they were innocent.” The woman looked down her perfectly sculpted nose. “Of course, they must make a living some how.” She smirked then found an imaginary hangnail very interesting.

"Innocent, why you...” Sheila started forward with balled up fists.

Joanne put a hand on her feisty friend's shoulder. “Settle down,” she whispered.

"But—” Sheila bounced in place, obviously angry at the insult from Roy's girlfriend.

"No, don't make a scene, not here in front of the kids.” Even though Joanne was thoroughly enjoying watching Roy shuffle his feet as he tried to explain how he knew her, she didn't appreciate being looked down on the way this woman was looking at her and Sheila. And she sure as hell didn't like the implication that they were picked up by the police for something like prostitution.

"Actually, Officer Bonham saved Sheila and me from being assaulted. It was a very frightening experience."

"Yes, well, I'm sure it was.” Paula said with a twitch of her head as she eyed the two girls with contempt.

Roy added, “I, uh, got the apartment manager to put in some extra security lights."

Paula curled her fingers into the crook of Roy's arm, “Roy's always helping out the unfortunate, aren't you dear?” She stroked the side of his cheek with her other hand.

"Uh, yeah, something like that."

"Woy, want some pizza?” Joey held up his half-eaten slice for Roy.

"No thanks, kiddo. Roy's gotta go."

"Hey lady,” a little boy tugged at Paula's skirt. “Want a bite?"

Joanne watched as Paula's eyes grew large and her face went white as she tightened her lips. “Get your greasy, grimy little hands off my skirt.” She shrunk back, trying to hide behind Roy.

"Austin, I don't think the lady wants pizza.” Joanne put his sauce dripping pizza back on a plate and helped the little boy back up to the table, regardless that his pizza-stained hands were making a bigger mess on her t-shirt.

She turned back to hear Paula whining and pleading to Roy, “Look at my skirt, it's ruined. Roy, can't we get out of this place?"

"We have to go, Jo. We, uh, were actually just on our way to the Men's Wearhouse. I needed to, um, pick up my tux for the benefit we have to, uh, go to tonight. Anyway,” he shuffled his feet a few inches. “It was nice seeing you again."

As they turned to go, Joanne heard Paula say to Roy, “I don't know why you insist on getting so close to your charity cases, Roy. These people are simply white trash, through and through."

"Paula, keep your voice down."

"Can't you just make a donation or something like daddy does?"

Joanne's clenched fists stayed at her side, but Sheila's didn't. She picked up a glass of orange soda and made her way through the crowd. Pretending to be jostled, she let the entire soda spill down the back of Paula's blouse before she quickly ducked behind a video game.

Paula's shrieks could be heard over the bells, music and regular arcade noise of the game room. Everyone stopped and turned to see who screamed. It wasn't often an adult made such a noise in a place where children's voices reigned supreme.

While Roy tried to get Paula to calm down, Sheila made her way through the throng of curious on-lookers back to the table where Joanne waited.

"You really shouldn't have done that."

"Yeah, I know. I should have just belted her a good one."

"What would that have proved?"

"I dunno, but it would have made me feel better."

"You're crazy, you know that?” Joanne poured another glass of soda, then slid a new slice of pizza on a paper plate, she shoved it over toward her friend. “Here, hail the conquering hero. To the victor go the spoils. Eat."

"Roy, go away!"

"No, I'm not leaving until you let me in so we can talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I need to explain."

"Don't bother. Just go away.” Joanne leaned her forehead on the door. “Please, just go away.” She whispered.

His deep voice sounded at her forehead. Tiredness made each syllable resonate in her head. “Please, just for ten minutes."

With a deep sigh, Joanne knew she'd lost this round. “Damn.” Lifting a hand to unlock the deadbolt, she said, “Ten minutes, that's it."

"Ten minutes. I promise.” Roy said as he slid through the narrow opening of the door that Joanne allowed.

She closed the door and stood with her back against it. “Explain."

Roy sat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to him. “Come sit."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine.” He shouted. “I'm not fine. We're not fine.” He swiped his hand over his face. “I'm never going to be fine again,” he said dejectedly.

Watching his shoulders slump, Joanne took a step forward, then another until she was standing in front of him. “Okay. I'll sit. Just keep your voice down. Joey's sleeping.” She sat on the edge of the cushion next to him, not touching.

"I'm sorry. Look,” he twisted around until he could face her, “I didn't mean to ... I mean, Paula doesn't know ... shit, I don't know what I mean. I rehearsed what I was going to say all the way over here, but now ... it just sounds all contrite in my head."

"Why don't I help you with the hard parts.” Joanne smiled tightly. “Your friend dissed mine and was extremely rude. She insulted my friends and she got a well deserved attitude adjustment."

"Paula just doesn't—"

"Look, if you just came here to make excuses for your girlfriend, then don't bother.” Joanne stood up and put her hand on her hip. “It doesn't matter to me anyway.” She tossed her hair back away from her face.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"I really don't want to hear all the gory details, okay?” Joanne sat down on the couch and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them.

"It's not what you think."

"Roy, I'm tired. Do we have to do this now?"

Roy sat bent over, with his head resting on his hands. “I lost my wife and son five years ago. They were killed during a robbery of our home. I wasn't home when it happened, I was working."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say.” Joanne reached out a hand then stopped herself.

"We were a perfect family. We were talking about having another child so my ... my son could have a little brother or sister. But ... all that changed."

"Roy, are you sure you want to talk about this?"

"I want to tell you, Jo.” Roy turned to the young girl sitting next to him.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I feel that I need to tell you everything.” He covered one of her small hands with his larger one. “Please, let me?"

"Okay, Roy.” Joanne covered his hand with her other and gently squeezed.

They both leaned back on the couch, shoulders touching as Roy continued.

"I was working the late shift, later than what I work now even, and one night ... one night I hear this call come over the radio."

Feeling Roy's shoulder tense, Joanne braced herself for what was to come next. She gave his knee an encouraging pat.

Roy nodded and continued, “I'd just finished dropping off a DUI and I was anxious to get back out on the street. Anyway, I caught the neighborhood ID and recognized it as mine. At first, I ignored the call, because it wasn't my patrol, but then another call came for more back up ... then an ambulance, then...” Roy's shoulders shook.

"You don't have to do this, Roy."

"I'll be okay, I just didn't realize how much it would hit me ... again.” Shifting a little on the sofa cushion, he half turned toward Joanne. “When the call came through for the ME, uh ... Medical Examiner, that's when I raced over there to find out what was going on. All the while, this chant started up in my head, don't let it be them, don't let it be them.” He shifted back and sat up so that his arms hung loosely between his knees. “The closer I got to my house, the more I knew.” He slammed his fist against one knee. “I knew it, damn it!"

Lifting one hesitant hand, Joanne laid it on Roy's shoulder. His muscles contracted under her gentle touch. She felt cold, hard steel under the warmth of his skin.

"By the time I pulled in front of the house, the driveway and front yard had been cordoned off with tape and the neighbors were bunched together trying to get a look at what was going on in my house. At first, the other cops wouldn't let me go in. They kept holding me back. I fought like hell and finally broke free. I ... I raced through what was left of my front door and ... pushed past the guard ... and ... well, it didn't register at first the condition of the room. I was just so intent on finding them.” He balled his hand into a fist and pressed it into his knee. “I just needed to see them.” He turned to face Joanne. He grabbed her hands. “You know? I just needed to see them."

A lump grew in Joanne's throat. She couldn't swallow past it. Her eyes filled with tears. All she could do was nod. She sniffled a bit and nodded again.

"The sons-a-bitches were just looking for stuff to steal then sell. They'd been watching the house and probably figured a woman and a kid wouldn't put up a fight. I guess they hadn't figured on running into a cop's wife. Raquel, that was my wife's name, we all called her Rocky, didn't go down without a fight. She must have been their worst nightmare.” He forced a tight smile to his lips.

Joanne couldn't smile back. The lump in her throat had grown so large it threatened to choke her.

"They, uh ... they beat her up pretty bad before they ... before they finally killed her. I saw the bruises on her swollen, battered face. At the trial, one of them,” He spat out the word, them, “one of them testified against the other and said that they had tied her up and hung her from the banister and ... and ... took turns kicking her in the face and the stomach..."

"Oh, Roy ... I'm so sorry.” The tears fell with earnest down her cheeks. She swiped at them with the back of her hand even though it didn't do much good.

"My son ... my little boy ... he was only a little older than Joey, he saw it all. Those sons-a-bitches tied him to a chair and made him watch as they brutally beat and raped his mother. Oh my God, what he must have seen...” Roy covered his face with his hands.

Joanne shivered. Cold sweat broke out on her forehead. Her stomach turned over with a sickening flop.

With his voice muffled from his hands over his face, Roy went on. “He ... little RJ we called him. RJ for Roy junior. He was shot too, but they weren't as accurate as when they shot my wife and he didn't die right away. He hung on for a couple of hours at the hospital before ... before he died too."

"I'm so sorry.” Joanne didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't tell you all this to make you feel sorry for me. I ... I like you, damn it, and I don't want to..."

"What?” Joanne couldn't believe her ears; this man didn't want to like her?

"I don't want to get involved. I can't get attached.” He turned toward her. “That's what it's been like with Paula. But ... now ... here you are. Making me feel again."

Wide-eyed, with her lashes still wet from tears, Joanne watched Roy's face. She could feel the intensity of his gaze as he searched her face for an answer. “What are you trying to say, Roy?"

"I like you, Joanne. I like you ... too much. I've tried to keep my distance. But, I can't stay away.” He grabbed her hands and held them in his. His thumbs caressed the skin between her first two knuckles.

"Roy, I ... I, just don't know what to say,” Joanne's eyes locked with Roy's. She saw the conflict in his heart shining in his eyes and without hesitation she said, “There's something about you that makes me want to trust you so badly. I like you, too."

Roy's lips twisted into a slight grin. “Great, we both like each other."

"Yeah. But, that doesn't change anything, Roy."

"I know. I know.” He let go of Joanne's hands just long enough to swipe one of his hands across his face. “God, what a mess I've made of things. I wouldn't be surprised if you kicked me out right now and said you didn't want to see me again, ever."

"And, what good would that do? You'd just find another excuse...” Joanne stopped, not sure if Roy would understand her words were meant to bring humor to the situation. She sought his eyes for some kind of sign. A twinkle glimmered, he understood.

They laughed, relieved to feel the tension drift away for the moment.

With a light touch, Roy pushed back a strand of hair that fell in front of Joanne's face. “So, tell me. Why didn't you ever marry Joey's father?"

Sucking in a deep breath of air, Joanne sighed. “Well."

"A deep subject?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing, I was making a joke.” Roy leaned back into the sofa and settled himself. He patted her hand and said, “If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."

"No, no, I want to tell you. It's just hard to figure out where to start."

"The beginning always helps."

"Maybe so, but I'm not sure where the beginning is on this story.” Joanne sighed and flipped her hair back with one hand, twisting it around her fingers. She let it go and it fell across her shoulder. “Joey's father was never really a father, you know what I mean?"

Roy nodded.

"We were in high school. I was a junior. I'd been dating this guy for a few months and that's like forever when you're sixteen. God, I was so naïve. He said he loved me and well, I thought I loved him. He promised me it was safe. He ... he said he'd, you know, stop before...” Joanne squirmed on the sofa cushion, not looking at Roy.

"I understand. You don't have to say the words if you don't want to.” Roy touched her clenched hands.

"Thanks. I thought I was passed all of the embarrassing stuff, but hey,” she opened her hands to let his slide in between. She held his hand carefully. “I guess it's still a little weird talking about how stupid I was back then."

"Not stupid, just too trusting."

"Yeah. Too trusting. I'm never gonna be that trusting again. He was gone and moved on to his next girlfriend by the time I found out I was pregnant. When I tried to confront him about being pregnant, he denied being the one who got me pregnant and then said it could have been any number of guys. I couldn't believe my ears. This was the boy who I had pledged my undying love by giving him my virginity and he's acting like I was a ... a ... slut!"

"Stupid little shit."

"Boy, did I grow up fast after that. I went through all kinds of arguments with my parents. Of course, they shipped me off to live with an aunt where no one would hear about my little accident. Everyone was told I went away to boarding school. My parents said I could come back home after I gave the baby up for adoption, but..."

"You couldn't do it, could you?"

"Not for my life could I have given him up.” Joanne had forgotten she'd been holding Roy's hands. She looked down and saw how natural it looked. Their fingers intertwined. His big callous hands grasping her smaller fingers. “My parents made all kinds of arrangements. They brought in a lawyer who told me that an older couple was delighted to be adopting my baby. My baby!"

She couldn't sit still anymore. Letting go of Roy's hands, Joanne pushed herself to her feet and paced. “I tried to get my parents to see my side of it. I begged them to let me come home with the baby. They wouldn't even look at me, that's how ashamed of me they were.” Joanne brushed away angry tears. “They said that they had a detective discreetly look into the matter,” Joanne made air quotes with her fingers, “and determined that too many boys claimed to have had sex with me. My parents refused to get caught up in a scandal of pressing for a paternity test."

Wrapping her arms around her midsection, Joanne rocked from side to side. “They handled me like any other annoying situation. They made me go away.” She laughed a short bitter laugh. “Of course, I really threw a wrench in their plans when I refused to go along with the adoption. Up until then, they'd paid for my medical bills and living expenses. But, after I wouldn't go along with their plans they cut me off. My aunt home schooled me and I passed the GED. As soon as Joey was born that was it. I was no longer their responsibility and neither was Joey. My aunt let me live with her until I could afford a government-subsidized apartment. It wasn't much, but it came with free daycare. I worked two sometimes three jobs just to earn enough money for Joey and me."

"What about other relatives?"

Joanne shook her head. “Neither of my parents had any other brothers or sisters."

"What happened to your aunt?"

"She had a stroke about two years ago. She left me a small trust. Her last letters to me talked about how she wanted me to do something better with my life. She wanted me to go back to school and get a degree.” Joanne took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “So, that's what I did. Her trust wasn't much, but it was enough for me to go to a technical school and get trained as a medical assistant. Sheila helped me out by watching Joey at night so I could go to class.” She motioned with her hands to the contents of the room. “We ain't got much, but everything we have is paid for."

Roy got to his feet and stood close to Joanne. “You've done a great job. Joey's an awesome kid.” He looked down at the top of her head.

"Thanks."

"I mean it.” Roy lifted his hand to her chin and tipped it up so she could see his eyes. “Joey is lucky to have you for his mom."

"Thank...” Joanne swallowed to clear the huskiness from her voice. “Thank you."

"I meant it,” Roy said again, softer. His head slowly lowering toward Joanne.

"I—I,” Joanne stumbled over her words, forgetting what she was going to say as Roy's face leaned in closer to hers. She could see the tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. His masculine scent mixed with something spicier tickled her nostrils. He's going to kiss me. Roy is going to kiss me. And then Joanne closed her eyes. The connection was broken. Common sense won out. We can't. I can't. I'm not ready for this. “I gotta go check on Joey, Roy."

"Huh?” Roy's eyes blinked twice.

"I gotta go check on Joey.” Joanne used the palm of her hands to gently push Roy away so that they weren't standing so close together.

"You do."

"Yes, I do.” Taking Roy by the hand she led him to the front door and opened it. “Thank you for coming over and explaining things to me.” Joanne smiled at Roy. “I understand now.” Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she placed a small kiss on his face, between his cheek and chin.

Roy lifted one hand to cover the spot she touched with her lips. “Are we okay?"

"Oh yeah. We're okay.” Joanne smiled again. “Good night, Roy."

Whistling a tune he heard on the radio, Roy walked into the locker room to exchange his street clothes for his uniform. Lost in his thoughts, he slammed shut his locker door, turned to leave and nearly walked into another officer.

"Hey, Bonham."

"Shit, Ellis. Trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Not today, man. We're short-staffed."

"We haven't had our briefing yet, how do you know we're short-staffed?"

"I got my ways."

"Get out of here, Ellis. I don't have time for your bullshit today."

"Hey, Bonham. What's the matter? Your little piece of ass giving you troubles?” Ellis laughed. “I hear she's a real firecracker; young and frisky."

Roy took one step forward, lifted Ellis off his feet, and held the short man up against a row of lockers.

Staring into the small, beady eyes of the officer he held against the locker, Roy said with an even tone, “Look, Ellis. I'd watch my mouth if I were you."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.” Ellis’ eyes shifted from Roy's to the group starting to gather behind him. “Sheesh, guess his little something on the side isn't as giving as she used to be.” He looked over at Roy, “They're always demanding more, eh?"

Roy shook Ellis. “Watch your mouth, shit for brains."

The brief exchange between the two men caused a bit of a commotion in the locker room. A small crowd gathered. No one interfered, preferring to let the two officers sort out their differences but each one was ready to intervene if necessary.

"Yeah, yeah.” The catch in Ellis's voice betrayed his attempt at bravado. “Whatever you say, man. Whatever you say. Just keep away from me.” He pulled at Roy's hands and squirmed to get away. “Hey, leggo, man."

Roy released his grip, backing away. Ellis dropped the few inches to the floor. He rubbed at his throat and bent over as if he were hurt. Straightening his uniform, he said to the crowd, “I didn't mean nothin'. Just trying to have a friendly conversation with the man and he gets all psycho on me."

"Bonham, you okay?” Tony Bradford stepped forward out of the small crowd.

"Yeah, guess he just got under my skin.” Roy brushed at the front of his uniform wiping away nonexistent lint and the lingering traces of Ellis’ brief contact. “That guy needs an attitude adjustment, bad."

Bradford looked over his shoulder at the topic of their conversation. He watched Ellis swagger over to the crowd, probably to spread more rumors. “Yeah, I know. Don't worry, he'll get his. Guys like that don't last long."

"Maybe so, but until he does get his, we all have to suffer."

Bradford gave his friend a reassuring slap on the shoulder. “Maybe you'll get to be there when it happens."

Roy laughed. “We can only hope.” They turned and headed toward the hallway. “Come on, let's get to the briefing before we end up with an extra shift or something."

Bradford and Bonham slid into their seats just as the shift commander walked in and closed the door.

"All right, listen up. We don't have much time and we got a lot of stuff to cover and not enough of you to go around."

Roy heard a snicker behind his left shoulder and knew without turning around it was Ellis.

"Day shift has three open robberies and a missing persons report just came in. An elderly woman wandered away from her group at Westshore Plaza. She may be disoriented and we're checking into whether she's mentally ill. Check your e-mail for specifics. And, speaking of e-mails, I don't want a bigger one, I don't want it more, and I don't want to see it. Got it?"

The room burst into laughter as they all chattered about the recent influx of unsolicited e-mail from questionable advertisers for enlarging a penis, increased sexual activity, and the numerous voyeurism websites.

"Okay, okay. We have the IT department working on the problem and pretty soon that kinda crap won't be cluttering our mail boxes anymore. Now, let's get back to work. The United Methodist Church on Columbus is asking for an extra patrol tonight. They reported three break-ins last week. Those of you assigned to the area will find a notice about it in your mail."

The Shift Commander slapped his open palm on the podium and said, “Okay, go on, get out of here."

Chairs scraped the floor as the officers pushed back from the small tables. They filed out of the room and headed for a vacant desk to check their mail or return phone calls. Roy headed for a desk in the corner. He signed on and opened his e-mail. Nothing out of the ordinary appeared as he scrolled through his messages. A message window flashed letting him know he had a new e-mail.

I'll be watching you and her. Roy didn't have to check the return address to know it came from Ellis. He didn't bother to return the message either. Roy deleted the message and signed off the computer. Let Ellis play his games on his own time. He had work to do.

He swung out of the creaking desk chair, adjusted his utility belt and headed to the parking lot.

Grabbing the keys to his assigned patrol car, he concentrated hard on bringing Jo's smiling face back to the forefront of his mind. He let it push away all residual negative feelings.

She had been genuinely grateful for his compliments about being a good mom. She was a good mom. Roy smiled at the image of a sleepy Joey wandering into the living room last night with his arms outstretched. That little boy of hers couldn't be more cared for or loved than if he had two parents. He just didn't understand why she was alone. She was young, beautiful, smart, and the answer to most guys’ prayers. Sure, she's got a kid, but most guys would cave the instant they looked into those trusting blue eyes and they'd melt as soon as that little boy flashed his dimpled smile.

Grimacing, Roy stopped his pre check of the patrol car and sucked in a deep breath of air. His gut felt like someone had just sucker punched him. Watch it old man. Don't get all wimpy on some girl and her kid. She's too young for you for one thing. And for another, you don't need complications like that in your life again. Cops with a family are targets for every creep and criminal with half a brain. Remember that. Roy shook his head like a horse shaking off an insistent fly. Yeah, right. Like I could ever forget? Those images haunt my dreams. I won't ever forget. Never.

Roy finished his pre check, signed the check out sheet and slumped behind the wheel of the car. So much for his good mood.

"Joanne, I told you it wasn't a good idea to date a cop."

"I'm not dating him.” Joanne motioned for her friend to come into the kitchen so they didn't disturb the boys playing in the living room. She didn't want her son to overhear their conversation.

"Yeah, well, whatever you're doing isn't winning you any popularity contests around here.” Sheila waved a piece of paper under Joanne's nose.

"Yeah, I know. This one sounds serious. The others—"

"There've been others? Why didn't you tell me?"

"At first I wasn't sure what they meant. I thought it was just a practical joke or something."

"Some joke."

"I didn't take them very seriously, ya know? I figured they were just upset about that night and were trying to scare me.” Joanne threw up her hands in an act of frustration.

"Scare you? This one says that if you don't quit seeing the cop you're life is going to become a living hell."

"I've been to hell before, Sheila.” Joanne's eyes narrowed.

"Maybe so, but what if they really do try to hurt you?"

Joanne sat down at her small kitchen table. “I can handle myself."

"Yeah, maybe so,” Sheila sat across from her then turned to look at the little boy and her son playing with his trucks on the living room floor. “But, can he?"

"Oh God, you don't think...” Joanne's voice trailed off not wanting to put to voice the horrible images that flashed through her mind. “They wouldn't hurt my baby, would they?"

"I don't know.” Sheila reached over and placed her hand over Joanne's. She squeezed. “Listen, hon. I'd be the last person to stand in the way of your happiness, but do you honestly see this relationship going anywhere?"

"What relationship? We're just friends, barely friends.” Joanne pushed a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. “He comes by once in a while just to check up on me, that's all.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “He barely recognizes I'm a woman, he's just doing his job."

Sheila laughed. “That's a good one, Joanne. You keep believing that bit of fairy tale. The guy's hot for you. Haven't you noticed?"

With an incredulous look, Joanne stared back at her friend.

Sheila's mouth gaped open. “You mean ... you two ... never?"

"Nope."

"Not even a kiss?"

"Nope, not even a peck."

Joanne stopped. “Well, I guess you could call it a kiss. I pecked him somewhere on his cheek as a thank you the other night. He didn't even respond. He's more interested in hanging out with Joey than he is me, anyway."

"Oh, man, you've got to be kidding, right? You're just teasing me."

Joanne's hair flew as she shook her head vehemently.

"With the way he looks at you? And the way your eyes get all dreamy when you start talking about him?” Sheila shook her head in disbelief. “You two are in for a big surprise when you wake up."

"I don't know what you're talking about.” Joanne pushed back her chair and busied herself in the refrigerator. “Do you want another soda?"

"No, I don't want another soda, and quit trying to change the subject.” Pointing at the empty seat across from her, Sheila said, “Get your bony ass back in this chair."

"I need to put Joey to bed"

"Joey can stay up for a little longer, he and Justin are still playing quietly. We gotta talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm gonna have another soda."

Sheila shook the can of soda that Joanne was drinking. “It's still half full, get over here and quit making excuses."

Sighing, resigned to the fact that she was out of reasons to avoid her friend, Joanne slid back into her seat. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?” She propped her chin on her hand and feigned indifference.

"I'm your friend, right?"

"Yeah, you're my best friend."

"Well, as your best friend, I'm going to give you some advice, and take it seriously. Get rid of this guy now. Break it off, or whatever, now. Before it goes any further. You said nothing was going on, so it shouldn't be that hard.” Sheila stopped to take a breath and then continued in a softer tone. “He's just gonna break your heart, hon, those kind always do."

"But—"

"But, nothing. He's what, pushing forty? Why isn't he married? You saw the kind of women he likes. Remember that stuck up bitch that was hanging all over him?"

Joanne knew her friend was right, but couldn't push away the images of Roy's tortured face when he told her about his family. Would she betray his confidence if she told Sheila what she knew? “Maybe he was married once,” she said timidly.

"What? Of course, a divorced cop on the prowl. I've seen that kind before. You gotta put a stop to this, now. I don't want to see you get hurt.” Sheila's voice dropped. “By him or by those stupid goons around here."

"I don't think it was like that. I think he, uh, lost his family in some sort of crime ... or something,” she finished lamely, not certain how much to divulge.

"Whatever, it doesn't really make any difference, does it?"

"I suppose not."

"So you're gonna tell him to stop coming over?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But, Joey really likes him. He'll be disappointed."

"That's why you have to do it now, before Joey really gets attached to him."

"You're right.” A slight tone of resignation had crept into Joanne's voice.

"I know I am.” Sheila said with a small smile. “Besides, you don't want to get involved with a cop. What if ... well, we don't want to dwell on the ‘what ifs', now do we?"

"I know, but..."

"No ‘buts’ about it. Be serious okay?"

"I'm trying..."

"Then try harder. I mean really, come on. You have nothing in common. You're just a project for him. Something to do while he's bored. He's probably having a load of laughs about it with his buddies."

"You think?"

"I'm sure of it. You're better than this. Do you want to just be the flavor of the month? Cut it off now, before he does."

"I guess so..."

"I know so."

Joanne sat up straight and slapped her hands on the table. “You're right. What am I thinking, anyway? Joey's my life. If anything ever happened to make him hurt or sad I'd never forgive myself.” Joanne pushed herself back away from the table and stood up. “There's no one else in the world that I'd trust. Not even Roy Bonham. We're probably some sorta diversion for Roy, and I think it's time he moved on to a new diversion."

"Now you're talking."

The bell jingled as Roy pulled open the door to the Subway shop. The place was empty this late in the evening. It was easy to spot Tony sitting in the last booth. Tony saw him at the same time and waved.

"Hey, slacker. You're late.” Tony yelled.

"Had a minor traffic accident to deal with,” Roy responded.

"Figures."

"Yeah, I know. Always at dinner time.” He shook his hand to indicate to his friend that it was cramped from so much report writing. He turned to the server behind the counter and said, “I'll have a turkey and swiss on whole wheat. Lettuce, mayo, no tomatoes, no onions. Thanks."

He paid for his dinner, filled his cup with ice and Dr. Pepper, and then sat across from his buddy.

"How's your shift going?"

"Not bad, you?"

"Pretty quiet.” Roy bit into his sandwich and said between chews, “I hope it stays quiet for the rest of the night."

"You and me both.” Tony swallowed and said, “You planning on going over there tonight?"

"What?” Roy sat his soda back on the table and said, “Are you going to start giving me a hard time too?"

"Don't get so defensive, man. I was just making conversation."

"I've had enough conversation for one day.” Roy said. “Christ, why is everyone so interested in what I do lately? What's the matter? Is my personal life the topic of the day or what?"

"Personal life? I didn't know you had a personal life with this girl. What's up between you two anyways?"

"Nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing when you go over there on your time off."

"What I do on my time off isn't department business."

"It is when you're still on duty."

"I'm just patrolling the apartment complex, making sure the building manager complies with safety regulations, and..."

"And, you can't resist stopping in and seeing her."

"It's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Roy? We have resource officers who can check on the building manager. You can patrol the complex without stopping. Is there something to what everybody's saying?"

"No, no way.” Roy wiped his hands on a napkin then tossed it aside. “I don't know. I tell myself I won't stop, but then I find myself standing outside her door.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, I can't figure it out. I mean, last night I'm sitting on her couch telling her about Raquel and RJ."

"You what? Are you crazy?"

"Probably."

"Do you want to get involved with a young girl and her kid?"

"Hell no. Of course not. I don't need that kind of complication in my life."

"Then what are you doing, man?” Tony tossed the last of the chips into his mouth and crunched.

Roy rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. “I don't know.” He sighed again. “I just don't know."

"Well, if I were you, I'd think long and hard about what I was doing.” Tony stood up, picked up his radio and attached it to his belt. “And, I'd think about what kind of message I was sending to that girl ... if I were you.” He pointed his finger at Roy.

"Yeah, maybe so.” Roy tossed their trash into the garbage can.

"But, then again, I'm not you."

"Good thing, man!"

"See ya later?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Roy,” Tony turned before he pushed open the door. “You still wanna go out on the boat Sunday?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll be at your place by eight."

"Sounds good.” Tony held the door while Roy walked outside. “Be cool."

"You too."

Roy climbed into his patrol car but didn't start the car right away. He took a few minutes to collect his thoughts. What Tony said made sense. He had no business getting involved with Joanne. It wasn't fair to her or to her kid. He didn't need any kind of complication in his life right now, or probably ever again. It took him years to pull himself back from the brink of insanity after he lost his wife and son. There were days when he knew he was close to the edge again. He barely hung on at times. There was no way he could trust himself to get that involved with someone again.

Starting the car and backing out of the parking lot, Roy planned how he was going to find a way to tell Joanne he wasn't going to see her anymore. He made a face at himself in the rearview mirror. Stupid jerk. You sure made a mess of things didn't you?

Three days went by and each night Joanne nervously sat on her couch waiting for Roy to show up. She carried his cell phone number to work every day, thinking that the next day she'd be brave enough to call him and ask him to stop by so she could talk to him.

Each day that went by and she didn't call, her resolve crumbled and her heart fell a little bit. Maybe this was it. He'd decided to stop coming by. It was his way of telling her that he'd finished his job and moved on.

Well, that was just fine by her. Joanne argued with herself while she took blood pressures. She argued back while she took temperatures and logged patients’ weights. Each afternoon on her walk home from the bus stop she reasoned with herself again that it didn't mean anything and she was glad she didn't have to confront the man.

Still, it would have been polite to say good-bye, right? I mean, you don't just walk out of a person's life forever, without saying good-bye? That's just plain rude.

Joanne had gotten into the habit of watching the evening news before bed. Instead of reading the paper at work, she skimped on lunch and bought a paper every day to read while Joey played with his toys before bed. She couldn't stop herself from seeking out any information at all about local police incidents. She breathed a sigh of relief every time she read about a police involved shooting and couldn't find Roy's name.

She knew it was madness, but she continued anyway. Sheila tried to get her to go out again, but after their last disastrous trip to the club she wasn't going that route again. In the laundry room on Saturday afternoon they folded clothes while more tumbled dry behind them.

Joanne tried once again to dissuade her friend. “No, I don't think so."

"Oh, come on. You need to get out and be with people your own age."

"People my own age and I don't have anything in common, Sheila."

"So, forget about having anything in common and just go and have a good time."

"What for? So I can end up getting picked up by the cops again after I refuse to let some guy get a thrill while trying to get a feel up my skirt?"

"God, girl, sometimes I feel like you're older than me!"

"Sometimes I feel like I am.” Joanne threw down the towel she was folding. “I don't fit in anywhere. But you know what? That's just fine with me. I have my job and I have Joey."

"uh, ah hem?"

Joanne smiled at her friend. “And, yes, I have you."

"That's better."

"What?"

"I haven't seen you smile for a couple of days now. At least the frown wasn't permanent."

"Have I been that much of a grump lately?"

"Well, let's just say that even Joey noticed it enough to mention it to Justin. What was it he said?” Sheila tapped her chin with a long fingernail. “Oh yeah,” her voice dropped to a soft lisp, “if my mommy was green she'd be just like Oscar the Grouch."

"Oh.” Joanne lowered her head.

"Come on, it's not that bad.” Sheila put an arm around her friend's shaking shoulders.

A sob escaped as Joanne said, “But, my little baby, my Joey, he ... he ... keeps asking about Roy ... and he ... he..."

"He loves his mommy and knows when she's sad and when she's happy. So, what's with the mood? The cop? The gang of idiots?” She looked worried. “Have you gotten more threats?"

Joanne shook her head. “He never came back."

"Who the cop or the idiot?"

"Well, neither really. Or both.” Joanne wiped at her face with the towel she had thrown to the table and folded it again. “I haven't had any more threats and Roy stopped coming by."

"Hey, that's good news."

"But, I never got a chance to tell him to stop.” Joanne picked up another towel. “He just stopped coming. Just like that. No good-bye, no nothing.” When she said it aloud, it sounded silly. Joanne looked over at her friend and saw that she was suppressing her laughter. “Don't laugh."

"I can't help it. Did you hear yourself?"

"Yeah, I know. Stupid, huh?” Joanne laughed along with her friend.

"Yep. You're pathetic. You don't want this guy coming over, but you want him to come over so you can tell him not to come over?"

"When you put it that way, I guess it does sound ridiculous."

"Oh yeah, but for you, it makes perfect sense."

The dryer buzzer sounded indicating their last loads were finished. Tossing the final load of clothes on the table, the two women giggled and bumped each other in friendly camaraderie as they finished their weekend laundry chore.

Stepping out from the hot dry air of the laundry room into the hot humid air, they walked the short distance to their apartments. Joanne put the laundry basket down to open her door. Sheila opened hers as well, but before going in, she asked Joanne one more time, “So, you sure you won't change your mind?"

"I'm sure.” She hoisted the basket and shifted it against her hip. “I'm just not into the club scene, ya know?"

"Okay, but if you change your mind..."

"Thanks, but I think Joey and I'll just grab some dinner and watch a movie tonight.” She puffed out a breath of air to blow her bangs out of her face. “Besides, I think he deserves it after the way I've been acting lately."

Sheila laughed. “Okay, just don't wear that green t-shirt."

"Very funny. I'll see you tomorrow.” Before closing the door, she poked her head back out and yelled, “I'll come over and get Joey in about twenty minutes, okay?"

"Sure thing.” Sheila yelled back.

Joanne placed the laundry basket on the couch and headed for the kitchen. She needed to make a special dinner for her son to make up for being such a grouch the last couple of days.

She opened the refrigerator and took out a package of hot dogs and checked the cupboard for a box of macaroni and cheese. After putting two pots of water on to boil, one for the hot dogs and one for the macaroni, she headed down the hall to the bathroom closet for a sheet.

Using her feet, she pushed Joey's toys to the side of the living room and spread out the sheet in the center of the room. Taking plates and forks from the cupboard she set them on the sheet along with two plastic cups filled with orange soda.

With the water boiling, she placed the hot dogs in one pan and macaroni in the other. While they cooked she put the clean clothes away. After stirring the macaroni so it didn't stick and turning down the flame under the hot dogs, she rummaged through Joey's collection of videos until she found one she thought he might like to see.

Water hissing on the hot stove reminded her that she needed to finish dinner. She turned off the flame under both pots, drained the macaroni and plopped a pat of margarine into the hot pasta. Stirring in milk and the dry cheese, Joanne kept her mind on the plans she had for her son rather than dwell on her previous dark thoughts.

After cutting up the hot dogs and mixing the pieces with the macaroni and cheese just they way Joey liked it, she hurried next door to pick up her son.

Before Sheila could ask her again, she said, “No, I haven't changed my mind."

"All right, I get the message. Hey, Joey, your mom's here.” She yelled into the apartment. “They're in Justin's room playing."

The sound of running feet preceded the appearance of two boys. Justin rounded the corner first, followed quickly by Joey.

"Come on, kiddo. Let's go eat."

"Tan I tum back?” Joey stopped just short of his mom and asked hesitantly.

Joanne looked up at Sheila who shrugged her shoulders. “No sweetie, not tonight. I've got a surprise for you at home."

"For me?"

"Yep, for you. Let's go."

"O-tay.” Joey turned to his best friend and handed him the truck he was holding. “I godda go, Justin,"

"Okay, bye.” Justin ran back down the hall.

"What a life, eh?” Joanne asked.

"Life is so simple for them. Have fun you two."

"Thanks, Sheila. For everything."

Back in their apartment, Joanne showed her son the surprise she had placed on the living room floor. Excited, Joey jumped up and down shouting ‘yay’ and nearly knocked over the cups of soda.

To get him to settle down, Joanne asked him to put in the video while she dished up dinner.

Sitting cross-legged on the sheet, they settled down to eat their dinner and watch Toy Story. It was the ultimate treat for Joey, since most nights he had to sit at the kitchen table while he ate. Joanne smiled as her son absently forked macaroni and cheese into his mouth while his eyes never left the screen. She helped guide his fork when he attempted to spear a wayward hot dog slice. His muffled ‘thanks, mommy’ was all the praise she needed to know she'd done the right thing tonight.

Engrossed in the movie, Joanne jumped a bit when startled after a knock sounded at the door.

"Press pause, Joey,” Joanne said as she stood up from her position on the floor. She checked to make sure the baseball bat was still in position and the chain on the door before she opened it partway.

Joanne stood to one side, so that Joey couldn't see who was at the door. “What are you doing here?"

"I brought Joey a birthday present."

Joanne was in no mood to be civil. “His birthday was last Saturday."

"I know. I remember last Saturday. Can I come in?"

"Woy, Woy,” Hearing Roy's voice, Joey jumped up and down and clapped his hands. “Woy is here!” He tugged on Joanne's shorts and patted her leg.

"Settle down, Joey, settle down."

"Can I come in?” Roy asked again.

"Why?"

"Can we talk about this with both of us on the same side of the door?"

"Fine, I'll come out there."

"I'd rather you didn't. Unless you don't mind the neighbors being part of the conversation."

Joanne thought about the threatening notes she'd received. “Fine.” Joanne shut the door, unlocked the chain and pulled the door open. “Just don't get comfortable."

Roy sat in the chair and beckoned Joey to come close. He opened the large bag he carried and pulled out a package wrapped in cowboy paper.

Joanne frowned. “You didn't have to do this, Roy."

"I know.” Roy responded without looking up. The light in Joey's eyes captured his attention. “Can he open it now?"

"Tan I, mommy?"

"Well, I can't very well say ‘no’ now, can I?” Joanne slumped into the cushions of the couch and wrapping her arms around her legs as she pulled them up. She watched her son tear the paper and squeal with delight when he found the toys inside.

"Guns?” Joanne said with a disgusted snort.

"Nerf dart guns. They're safe.” Roy helped Joey open the plastic wrapping and showed him how to load the foam darts into the plastic gun. “Watch, they don't shoot far and they don't go fast.” He turned to Joey. “We never shoot guns at people, only at targets, okay?"

"Otay, Woy. Tardets."

"That's right. Targets. I'll show you what targets are.” He lifted the bag and pulled out a dozen or so lightweight plastic blocks.

"These are targets.” Roy held up a block. “These blocks are targets."

From her seat on the couch, Joanne watched as Roy showed Joey how to set up the blocks in various arrangements. Then he carefully handed the toy gun to Joey and showed him how to hold it and point it. “Never point guns at people, Joey.” Roy showed him how to hold the gun, barrel pointing toward the floor. “Always hold it like this. Only bring it up when you want to shoot the target."

Joey nodded his head furiously as he watched with rapt attention at the man who was giving him shooting lessons.

Watching her son's serious face as he listened to Roy, Joanne felt a catch in her throat. This is what I'll never be able to give him. I can't provide the masculine influence he'll so desperately need in the coming years.

Pretending to read the newspaper that she'd already read from front to back, she observed how gentle and patient Roy was with her son. His large hands covered Joey's smaller ones and positioned them to hold the gun properly. He knelt down on the floor and helped Joey aim and shoot. Roy's big laugh boomed when Joey's higher pitched giggle erupted each time he knocked a block over with the sponge dart.

Holding the paper up higher, Joanne hid her smile. She couldn't help it. Anything that made her son happy made her happy as well. Even if it was a man that was going to end up breaking her heart because he would eventually drift out of their lives and cause Joey pain.

How did I let it get out of control again? Didn't I plan on telling him off? Wasn't he supposed to be the one feeling uncomfortable? I'll have to tell him as soon as Joey goes to bed. He can't keep coming over here. He can't wriggle himself into our lives and wriggle back out when he's done playing. Joey's too impressionable. That's it. It's not good for Joey. That's what I'll tell him.

Her son's joy was infectious. Each time she heard him laugh it was getting harder to suppress her own uplifted spirits. Joanne caught herself before a giggle escaped and was heard. She tilted the paper just enough so she could see Roy rolling around on the floor as Joey jumped from block to block setting up moving targets for Roy to knock down.

"Tum play wif me, mommy.” Joey begged.

"Mommy's gonna sit right here and read the paper, Joey."

"No, mommy, tum play.” Joey patted her leg and pushed the paper aside.

"Joey,” she made an attempt to smooth out the paper, “Roy will play with you."

Joey trotted over to Roy and tugged on his arm. “Tell mommy to tum play, Woy."

Roy pushed himself up into a half kneeling position and put his hands out in perfect puppy-begging style. “Come play with us, Mommy."

Joey squatted down in a mimic of Roy's begging position and added a little puppy whine. “Tum play wif me, mommy."

What the heck, it's only until Joey goes to bed, then she can talk to Roy. Besides, their game did look like fun.

Tossing the paper aside Joanne joined her son on the floor. She listened carefully at Joey's childish attempt to teach her how to hold the gun and load it. She smiled as he raced over to the blocks and stacked them up for her.

"Hit the tardet, mommy. Hit the tardet!"

Half aiming, she pulled the trigger and the sponge dart flew past the stack of blocks and into the hall.

"Oops.” Joey jumped up from his safe spot on the floor and raced after the dart. “Do it adain, mommy.” Bringing the dart back he patted Roy on the shoulder to get his attention. “Woy, show mommy how to shoot the dun."

"That's not really necessary...” Joanne started to say but never finished as two pairs of masculine eyes rolled in unison at her half hearted attempt. “All right. Fine. Show me how to shoot the darn thing."

Joey's giggles and Roy's rumbling chuckle were contagious and before she knew it, Joanne was caught up in the fun. She rolled around on the floor with her son and shot at blocks he carefully stacked. With playful nudges and lighthearted tickles she laughed and played, even with Roy. They both grabbed for the plastic gun at the same time, shouting “My turn."

Joanne held onto the gun.

Roy tugged.

She held tighter.

He tugged harder.

She tipped over onto her side as she kept a tight grip onto the gun refusing to give in and let him have it.

He leaned over her laughing, playfully tugging at the gun, then stopped.

Looking up into his eyes, Joanne stopped laughing as well. The twinkle in his eyes was still there, but they burned with an intensity she recognized as something more.

She didn't move.

"Tiss her, Woy."

She blinked.

Over Roy's shoulder she saw her son's smiling face. He was balanced himself on Roy's back as he looked down at her. “Tiss her, Woy. Tiss my mommy."

"If I kiss you will you give me the gun?"

"No."

"It's Woy's turn, mommy."

"See, even Joey knows whose turn it is."

"Two against one?” Joanne said. “That's not fair."

"That's the breaks. Take it or leave it."

"How about you get off me first, then I'll give you the gun?"

Roy turned to Joey, “Is that how we let the bad guys do it, pardner?"

Joey shook his head so hard he nearly lost his balance on Roy's back. “Div us the dun, mommy."

That single word. Us. It tore threw Joanne's heart. She blinked hard to keep the tears from forming in her eyes. Her voice choked, “Okay, I give up. You got me. Take the gun."

Roy lifted his weight off her and she rolled away—alone, but not before she watched Roy trot around the room with Joey on his back. When Joey slid off, she looked away from the triumphant faces of Roy and her son as they high-fived each other. They had bonded into a masculine unit, without her. She was too late to protect her son's heart.

"Joey."

"Yeah mommy?"

"It's time to get your jammies on."

"Not now. Later.” Joey said while he went about stacking blocks.

"No, Joey. Now."

"Later. I'm busy."

"Hey big guy, why don't you do what your mommy says, okay?"

Joey rushed over to Roy and hugged him hard around the neck. “Otay, Woy. Tay here.” Then he ran down the hall and into his room.

Joanne knew she only had a few precious minutes of alone time with Roy before Joey rushed through changing his clothes. She turned to the man who managed to get her son to get ready for bed and said, “That wasn't necessary. I can handle Joey just fine."

"I just thought—"

"I know what you thought, and we don't need your help, Roy."

"What?"

"Don't you see what's happening?"

"No, I don't. Why don't you tell me."

"You've hooked him.” Joanne tossed her hair and pointed her chin in the direction of the hall toward her son's room. “Joey. He cares for you now. You've become an important part of his life."

"What's wrong with that?"

Joanne threw out her arms. “What's wrong with that? Don't you realize how much his heart is going to break when you stop coming around? He doesn't know that we're just a diversion for you. That eventually you'll get bored with him, us, and you'll disappear out of his life."

"Wait a minute. Where did you get that idea?"

"He's four years old, Roy. Do you honestly think he can understand the difference?"

"What difference? What are you talking about?"

"God, do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah. I think you do. I don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"Joey likes you, Roy. He likes you a lot. He's come to respect you and ... and ... I think he even loves you.” Joanne put up her hand to stop Roy from interrupting. “No, wait. You've been able to give Joey something I never can. Lessons on how to be a ‘guy', a ‘man'. He'll never forget that. But, we have to be realistic here. Unless you plan on sticking around for the rest of his life, which we both know isn't going to happen, you need to say good-bye to Joey now. He needs the closure."

"He needs closure?"

Joanne looked away. She'd thrown that in without thinking. It wasn't Joey who needed closure. She needed it.

"He'll be coming out here any minute. Can you just let him down easy?"

"Why? Why can't we just go on like—"

"We can't, Roy. We just can't. You're a cop. We live in a place where cops aren't actually welcome, know what I mean?” Joanne knew she needed to make him understand. “We have to live here. You don't. Things happen when you come around."

"What things? Are you I danger?"

"Only when you come by.” Joanne mumbled.

"What does that mean.” Roy's face hardened. “Tell me, damn it. Have you been threatened? Joey?” Roy grabbed Joanne by the shoulders and pulled her close. “Have you?"

Looking up into Roy's eyes, Joanne saw a fierceness there she'd never seen before. She could almost believe that he wanted to protect them. She could almost trust that he'd be there whenever they were in trouble. Almost.

Her heart thumped painfully in her chest. She needed to put some distance between herself and this man who could block out the world, not just with his size, but his presence.

"Here, this is what we got.” She went to the kitchen counter and opened a drawer to pull out the first note that had been tacked to her door.

Roy grabbed it and read it quickly.

the cop goes or you go

"Is this it?"

"What do you mean?” Joanne knew exactly what he meant.

"Did you get any others?” Roy held up the note. “Like this, did you get other threats?"

"Well, someone threw their trash in our doorway one night."

"Anything else?"

"I'm weady, mommy."

Looking down, Joanne fumbled with her son's hand to keep him from tugging at her shorts. He'd dressed himself in his pajamas and from the look of his face he even brushed his teeth. She wiped away the smudge of toothpaste on his cheek with her hand and leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “You're a good boy, Joey. Lets get you in bed now."

"No, me tay up."

"No, you go to bed.” Joanne picked up her son and headed for the bedroom. She tossed back over her shoulder. “I'll be right back,” to Roy.

It only took a few minutes of reading and Joey was sound asleep. The earlier play had worn him out. When Joanne returned to the living room, she noticed that Roy had picked up all the blocks and stacked them neatly away from the center of the room.

"Thanks.” Her head bobbed in the direction of the toys.

"No problem."

She awkwardly stood in front of him, trying to figure out what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry if I've caused you problems here.” Roy said before she could form the words.

She shook her head. “It's not you, exactly. It's what you represent."

"Are we talking about your neighbors or your son?"

Joanne hesitated and then said, “Both."

"I see."

"It just wouldn't work out."

"Right.” Roy looked around the room then straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath. “Well, see ya around then."

"Yeah, sure."

"Hey, I'm not an expert, but dating a single mother has gotta have its own set of problems.” Tony didn't look at Roy while he talked but kept his eyes on the road ahead. Weekend boaters and tourists kept the Courtney Campbell Causeway traffic unpredictable. With the fishermen keeping one eye on the water for signs of wind and current and the tourists mesmerized by the pelicans, dolphins, and all the watercraft, Tony didn't feel comfortable enough to take his eyes off the busy road even for a second.

"I suppose, but her kid is great. I like him. I miss having—"

"Is that all this is, just a replacement for what you lost?"

"Hell no!” Roy slammed his fist onto his knee.

"It sure sounded like that for a second, there, pal."

"Well, it's not.” Watching the road ahead, Roy said, “We're almost there, that's the turn."

"Hey, I'm not harping on ya. I just think ya oughta be careful, is all.” Tony turned his head to the right, then left while he signaled to turn right at the traffic light and into the launch area.

"It doesn't matter anyway. She's made up her mind."

"And you?"

"It doesn't matter what I want, she's the one who's in control."

"Are you sure about that?"

"What is this, first you try talking me out of it, now you're telling me to go for it?"

"Not exactly.” Tony inched his truck forward jockeying for position among the other trucks and boat trailers. “Shit, from the looks of this line, we'll be lucky to launch by lunch time!” He turned back to his friend. “Look, all I'm saying is that since you met this girl, you've changed. You've found a purpose again. You're not such a mean-assed son-of-a-bitch out on patrol. Not even Paula could change that. So, if she's important to you, then don't let anything stop ya."

Roy stared straight ahead. “There's a spot, there. Move. Let's get this boat in the water."

"So, that's it, eh?” Tony asked while he maneuvered his boat trailer toward the boat ramp. The cloudless day had brought out a lot of weekend boaters and he had to carefully inch backward until he positioned his boat between two others.

"Yep. I'm a threat to her. To her son, and to where she lives.” Roy opened the truck door and walked to the back of the trailer to help Tony launch the boat.

"What?"

"She's got some corny idea that I'm influencing her kid."

"What about that note she got?"

"I gave it to Ross and he took it under consideration.” Roy tugged the latch loose and shrugged his shoulders. “She lives in a dangerous neighborhood. It's all she can afford."

Tony tied the boat to the dock and left Roy to watch it while he moved the truck and trailer to the parking lot. When he returned and they'd backed the boat away from the ramp and were speeding under the Courtney Campbell Bridge toward Tampa Bay he said, “Who needs the hassle, eh? Single mother. Kid. It's probably for the best, my friend."

Roy kept his eyes on the waves ahead and watched a dolphin jump into the spray. “Yeah.” His mouth saying the word but his mind not so sure.

"Let's go catch some fish!” Tony pushed the throttle forward and the boat lurched ahead, bumping high over each wave with a thunk and a spray of saltwater.

Roy pulled his cap further down on his head so the wind didn't catch it. He looked back at the receding shoreline and resolved to enjoy the day and forget about a precocious little boy and his stubborn mommy.

Determined to keep his distance, Roy managed to get through the next couple of days without giving in and visiting Joanne or Joey. He patrolled his area diligently, even driving through the apartment complex several times. Each time he hoped and feared he'd catch a glimpse of the young woman who'd managed to haunt his dreams. No longer was he kept awake night after night reliving his wife and son's death. New visions kept him sleepless. Visions of Joanne. Her silky, honey-colored hair. Her full mouth. Her pouty lips. Her haunting eyes. The way she felt under him that night on the floor of her living room. Her smile. Her laugh. He couldn't get any of it out of his mind.

And then he saw her.

She carried a large white plastic bag of trash as she carefully made her way across the parking lot, picking her way through the pot holes and palm leaves that looked like they'd been there since the last storm.

He slowed his car and let it roll to a stop until he could watch her without fear of running into anything. She hadn't seen him yet. Her stride purposeful, her steps sure. Then she stumbled and he knew she'd seen him, or at least seen the car.

Watching her face change expression from relaxed to forlorn nearly took his breath away. A sharp pain stabbed him in the chest. It was his presence that caused her to look sad. He could kick himself for being such an ass.

Putting the car back in gear, he slowly moved it forward until he could no longer see her then drove out of the complex.

Joanne stood holding the trash bag loosely in her hand before letting it settle on the ground. She watched the patrol car's tail lights fade as the car drove away.

Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so much?

Her shoulders slumped. She picked up the bag and shuffled the rest of the way to the trash receptacle. Throwing her bag on top of the pile of others she felt as if she were seeing a visualization of her life. Piles of troubles heaped one on top of the other.

Why couldn't one thing in her life be easy? Why did everything have to be so difficult? When was she going to catch a break?

She pondered those questions as she walked back to her apartment and finished helping Joey pick up his toys and get ready for bed.

Not able to sleep, she curled up on the couch and tried to read the book she'd borrowed from Sheila. Real life wasn't like Harlequin romances and she found it hard not to scoff as she read. The one thing she did learn from reading the book was that she didn't want to sit around and just wait for her Prince Charming to break down the door to her castle and ride off with her on his white horse into the sunset. He'd better knock if he knew what was good for him. And he'd better have a vehicle big enough to carry her and her son. He'd have to love her son. There was no getting around that. He'd have to love him as much as ... Giving in to her musing, she remembered how Roy and Joey played on the floor. If only he could be someone like Roy. Big and strong. Gentle and kind. What the hell, it's my daydream. Sexy too!

A noise, barely discernable, jolted her back to reality. She lifted her head and stared at the door. Checking her watch, her eyes widened at the time: 12:20 am. Who could be outside her door at this hour? Her first thought jumped back to the notes and wondered if Roy's drive by today triggered another threat. Refusing to sit and be a victim, Joanne tiptoed to the door and picked up her baseball bat. Whoever was on her doorstep was going to find out what it felt like to be threatened.

Heart racing, she slowly unlocked the door trying to keep from making any noise. One by one, she wiped her sweating palm on her shorts before grabbing the doorknob. Gripping the bat tighter in her other hand she flung open the door and yelled, “What the hell—” as she swung the bat.

A large body closed around her, knocking the bat out of her hand and the breath from her lungs. She kicked as she was pushed back inside her apartment. Landing hard on her bottom, she scrambled to get back to her feet while grabbing for her bat. She swung hard, only to lose her balance and fall against her target. A familiar hardness enveloped her and kept her on her feet. Safe. Protected. She couldn't resist the warmth that bubbled up from her heart and overflowed throughout her body. Relieved that there wasn't an intruder at her door, it paled in comparison to the more intense feelings at finding Roy at her door and wrapped around her.

Bewildered by the waves of passion threatening to wash over her, she reached for the more familiar hard tones she'd used before. “What are you doing sneaking around my apartment?” Joanne demanded.

"I came by to ... uh ... sure you won't use that?” Roy motioned to the bat in her hand.

"What, this?” Joanne took a firmer grip. “I don't know. You gonna give me a reason to?"

Holding up his hands in mock surrender, Roy said, “No way."

"Good.” Joanne pushed him out of the way so she could get to the door. She locked it and relatched the chain. Propping the bat in the corner behind the door gave her time to make sure it was positioned just right while she waited for her heart to slow to a beat that wouldn't threaten to jump from her chest.

When she finished she turned back to look at him. His hang-faced expression softened her tone. “What are you doing here?"

"I uh, oh shit, Joanne, I don't know what I'm doing here. I just knew I couldn't go another day without seeing you."

"You saw me today.” Joanne reminded him.

"It's not the same. I'm not the same.” Roy rushed through his words.

Joanne froze in spot where she stood. She watched the play of emotions across Roy's face. He seemed to be anxious to talk to her, almost relieved as each word escaped his lips.

"I've been trying to deny it, the guys have been giving me hell about it. They told me I was crazy to even consider it. Of course, Paula told me to go to hell. But, I've been in hell, and the only time I felt like I'd escaped was when I was here. And, I just didn't know what else to do. Every time I thought of going one day without seeing you I'd get this horrible knot inside, like a rotten pain, and I knew that something was wrong but I was so stupid I couldn't figure it out for myself and..."

For the first time since he walked in the door, Roy stopped and took a breath.

Staring at him, a lump in her throat, Joanne hoped her face gave him the answer he was looking for. Tears coursed down her cheeks but she didn't wipe them away.

"Oh, shit, now I've gone and made you cry, I can't do anything right!"

"You're doing everything right, you big lug!"

She held her arms out and he rushed into them, picking her up and holding her close.

Laughing and crying, Joanne wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tight while Roy spun her around and around.

When he stopped his grip loosened and Joanne slid down the front of his body. Her feet touched the floor then she was standing on her own again. Her hands griped the front of his shirt, holding him close.

Roy framed her small face with his hands. He brushed back her hair and wiped away her tears. Her happy smile lit up her entire face.

His own lips smiled in return. She watched the intense smoldering in his eyes build. Her grip on his shirt tightened.

Lowering his head, Roy brushed his lips across her forehead.

Joanne caught her breath.

His lips brushed against her cheek.

She parted her own lips, licking the bottom one, anxiously waiting where his lips would touch next.

Closing her eyes, tipping her head back into Roy's hands, Joanne sunk into the sensation of his lips on hers. Lightly, softly, his lips touched hers again and again. Each time he lifted his head her lips curled into the slightest pout until he lowered his head once again.

Joanne's head spun high into the heavens as she sunk deeper into Roy's kiss. His lips left her mouth and explored the soft skin at the base of her neck. She swayed a bit and let her head fall backward.

His hands felt warm and right on her body touching her gently.

Tapping at her.

What?

Tapping at her?

She opened one eye just a bit to peek at this bizarre caress. There were his arms, so far so good. She opened her other eye. Hands in view. Oh, that felt good, but what's tapping at her knee? Shifting her head, she looked down to find the sleepy face of her son. Nudging Roy, she managed to slow him down and then stop. He lifted his eyes filled with deep, smoldering passion and questioned her reason for stopping.

Joanne pointed to her son.

"Tiss her again, Woy!"

"You mean like this?” Roy ducked his head and swept his lips across Joanne's.

"Yay! Tiss her again, Woy!"

Roy ducked his head again, but Joanne squirmed away and picked up her son.

"All right, this could go on all night, young man, and you should be in bed."

Roy pouted. “Hey, I'm just following orders."

"Well, here are new orders. All little boys must go to bed."

It was Joey's turn to pout. His frown turned to a sleepy smile when Roy said he'd help tuck him in.

Joanne carried Joey to bed and Roy followed. Together they put him in bed and kissed him goodnight.

"G'night, pal."

"G'night, Woy.” Joey flung his arms around Roy's neck and gave him a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek.

Turning off the bedroom light, Joanne left the door ajar and the hallway light on.

"He got pretty excited about seeing us ... umm ... you know,” she said.

"Hmmm ... yeah, I know.” Roy nuzzled her neck and massaged her shoulders. “I got pretty excited too."

Joanne wanted nothing more than to grab Roy's hand and lead him to her bedroom, but she couldn't risk having Joey find them in bed together. Not yet. That kind of involvement could either mean a wonderful life together or disaster for everyone. She wasn't ready to risk it. Not yet.

"Roy, that feels wonderful, but ... we can't, I mean this is as far as its going to go tonight."

"Tonight?"

Joanne nodded, not trusting her voice.

"So, there can be other nights? Like this?” Roy touched her lips with the tip of his finger. “And more?"

Joanne nodded again.

"Do you have plans for tomorrow?"

"I was going to take Joey to the park."

"Do you mind if I tag along?"

"That'd be great. Joey would love it."

"What about Joey's mommy? Would she love it too?"

Joanne nodded and smiled. Her answer was to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him deeply.

"Hey,” Roy said, his voice husky. “Weren't we supposed to stop? Not that I'm complaining, now."

"One more."

"One more.” Roy bent his head to reach her eager, hungry lips.

"What a day!” Joanne unlocked her apartment door and let Roy, carrying her sleeping son, ahead of her.

"Where should I put him?” he whispered.

"In his bed, thanks."

While Roy went to put the tuckered out boy in his bed, Joanne grabbed a couple of cold sodas out of the refrigerator.

"Here, this should cool you off,” she said as she tossed a soda to Roy as he entered the living room and drank deeply of the one in her hand.

"Thanks, but I'd rather wrap my hands around something a little softer."

Roy sat on the sofa and pulled Joanne onto his lap. She laughed and giggled as her open soda sloshed. A drop or two landed on Roy's cheek and she leaned in close to lick it off.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about."

"Wait,” Joanne pushed him back a bit with her hands on his chest. “I saw Sheila's car in the parking lot, why don't I go over there now to ask her to baby sit Joey tonight. You did say you wanted to take me out, right?"

"Right, but can't you do that later?” He hugged her close.

"I could, but it's a Saturday night. Sheila could be making plans right this minute, then we'll have to wait until next weekend."

Roy stood and let Joanne slide off his lap. “Nope, not waiting, get over there now, woman."

Still laughing, Joanne tapped on her friend's apartment door.

"Hey, Jo, what's so funny?"

"Nothing, can I come in for a sec?"

"Yeah, sure, everything okay? Where's Joey?"

"He's sleeping. Roy's with him."

Joanne grinned at her friend's double take.

"Roy?"

"Yeah. We just spent the day together in the park. Oh, Sheila, it was the most awesome thing.” She grabbed her friend and gave her a quick hug. “I can't remember when I've been so happy."

"Must have been some park."

"It wasn't the park, silly. It was Roy. And Joey. And Roy and Joey together.” She sighed. “And us. We were an ‘us', Sheila."

"Oh, boy."

"What?"

"You got it bad, don't ya?"

"What do you mean?” Joanne felt her smile slipping away.

"You're already talking about an ‘us’ and you haven't even gone out on a date yet? What happened to the girl I knew who was going to keep it cool and take it slow?"

"She's still here, standing right in front of you, begging you to watch her son tonight so she can go on that first date."

"I don't know ... I could be contributing to something bad here."

"Please...” Joanne pleaded with her friend. “You're right, we should be taking it slow, but we have to have a date. An alone date so we can see if we're interested in each other, you know, more than physically."

"Have you—?"

"God no! Not with Joey in the next room, no way. But he wants to."

"What about you, hon, do you want to?"

"In the worst way, Sheila. In the worst way."

"Oh, sweetie,” Sheila rushed over to give her friend a hug. “God, just remember what I said about getting involved with a man who puts his life on the line in the name of duty."

"I know, but I can't ignore my feelings."

"Just be careful, Jo.” Sheila motioned for her to sit at the kitchen table.

"It's kinda scary if you think about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I haven't, you know, been with a man since I got pregnant with Joey. I mean, I've been on a couple of dates, but I haven't—"

"Why, Joanne Malone, you're practically a virgin!” Sheila slapped the table with her hand and laughed.

"Yeah, pretty much.” Joanne nodded. “You don't have to laugh!"

"Oh sweetie, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. No, you're right. I'm laughing at you. But it's a good laugh. I'm happy for you, hon. Just go slow and be honest with yourself and you'll do fine."

"Thanks."

"And if he doesn't treat you right you let me know. I still have some connections in the fire department and I'll find someone to kick his ass all the way to the Sunshine Skyway and back."

Laughing, Joanne said, “I appreciate it, but I don't think that'll be necessary."

"Sheila doesn't like me very much, does she?” Roy reached across the table and pulled a slice of bread from the basket.

"What makes you say that?” Joanne said as she pushed the butter dish closer to his knife.

"I don't know, I guess the looks she gives me. Like tonight.” Placing his knife to the side of his plate, he gave her his full attention. “When we dropped off Joey. She kept giving me these intent looks and telling you to be careful."

"She means well. She's my best friend and tries to watch out for me."

"Well, then, what is it? Does she have a thing against cops?"

"Everybody in my neighborhood does, remember? Sheila doesn't want me to get hurt. She was married to a fireman and she says being involved with guys who are in the business of risking their lives for a living just ends up in heartache and no good."

"So that's it? Just because her marriage ended badly, doesn't mean every relationship will."

Picking at her salad, Joanne kept her eyes on her plate. “Her husband died. In a fire."

"Oh, God. I'm sorry.” He cleared his throat. “But, those are accidents. And if you think about it, they're really few and far between."

"But, they do happen, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"So there is a chance..."

"Ya know, this isn't exactly how I pictured our first date conversation."

"You thought about what we'd talk about on our first date?” Joanne smiled feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.

"Yeah, and it didn't have anything to do with our jobs.” Roy stabbed at his plate, skewering a cucumber slice then tossing his fork back onto the plate. “I was kinda hoping we'd get a little more personal.” He covered her hand with his. “A little more intimate."

"Oh,” was all Joanne could manage. Shivers ran up her arm and down through her body. She was saved from having to say more while the waiter cleared their salad plates. She looked around the restaurant to avoid Roy's intense stare. He's moving awfully fast, girl. You better be careful or you could fall for him big time.

After the waiter left, a small awkward silence fell between them.

"Look, I—"

"Maybe we sh—"

They started at the same time then stopped and laughed.

"Go ahead,” Roy said.

"No, really, it wasn't anything important. I was just gonna say that maybe we should start again."

"Good idea.” Roy leaned back in his chair. “Hi Jo. You look beautiful tonight in that red dress.” He leaned forward and took her hands. “Is red your favorite color?"

By the time they finished their pasta and had a couple of glasses of red wine, Joanne was relaxed enough to stop worrying about Sheila's warning, but soon started thinking about where the end of the date might occur and how.

She hadn't dated in a long time and one of the last times she did, she ended up pregnant and her entire life turned upside down. She was entering uncharted territory and her companion wasn't an awkward teenage boy. A real man sat across the table from her. A virile, sexy man with adult needs and adult desires.

Dessert was a sultry mix of temptation and teasing as she and Roy shared a sinfully delicious slice of chocolate cake with chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

"I know exactly what we could be doing with these ingredients if we weren't sitting here in this restaurant.” Roy whispered to Joanne as she slid a morsel of cake into her mouth.

"Roy, what an imagination."

"You have no idea, sweetheart. You have no idea.” Roy looked deep into Joanne's eyes as he took the fork from her and speared a piece of cake for himself.

Joanne felt a burning that started in the pit of her stomach and slid down to her thighs. She squeezed them together, hoping to stave off the hunger she felt that had nothing to do with the cake she was eating.

Later, sitting in Roy's car, conflicting thoughts again rose to the surface of Joanne's mind. Did she really want to have sex with him now? Did she want him to ask? How would she answer? Would he freak out if she said no? All those questions and more kept a running tirade through her mind during the quiet drive away from the restaurant.

"You're awfully quiet over there.” Roy said.

"It was a wonderful night. I'm just enjoying the peacefulness."

Roy reached over with a free hand and squeezed Joanne's fingers gently. “It was nice, wasn't it?” He squeezed her fingers again. “You know it doesn't have to end yet."

"I know."

"But..."

"I didn't say ... yeah, there is a ‘but'.” She smiled. “I guess I'm a little too obvious."

"Not really, but I'd like to think I'm tuned into your way of thinking."

"I really enjoyed myself tonight and I want to get to know you better. A lot better. But, I don't think it should be tonight. This was technically our first date. I think we should take it kinda slow if you know what I mean."

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

"It'll be better if we wait."

"Un huh."

"Are you hurt or upset?"

"Huh? Me? Hell no. I think you're right. I agree with your decision 100%.” He cast a quick glance at her and smiled to reassure her.

Uncertain about what to do next, Joanne smiled back and then turned to stare out the window into the night at the traffic.

By the time they arrived back at her apartment, they were back on safer conversation grounds and much more at ease with each other.

"I better go get Joey.” Joanne said.

"Can you wait a few more minutes?” Roy pulled her close to him, next to his chest. “I just want to hold you for a few minutes just like this."

"That's nice.” Joanne snuggled her face into his chest.

"Mmm hmmm. I really did have a good time tonight. Thank you."

"So did I. Can we do it again, soon?"

Roy laughed. His moving chest made her head bob up and down with each chuckle. “Are you trying to wrangle another date already?"

"Yep."

"You got it. Just say when."

"When."

Roy laughed again. He put his hands on her arms and gently slid them up to her shoulders. Looking down at her he said, “You need to go get Joey and I need to go home. Now. Or else I won't be able to."

Liking this new power she had over him and knowing she was safe to act impulsively, Joanne slid her arms around him and held him close. “If you say so."

"Oh, no you don't.” Roy pushed her away.

Giggling, Joanne let the space between them stay. She knew she should only go so far with her teasing before he grew impatient. “I know. I'm leaving now to get Joey. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'll stay until you're back inside with the door locked.” He kissed her forehead. “About tomorrow, probably, unless some...” He paused when he saw the troubled look in her eyes.

Refusing to let his words get her worried, she forced a bright smile to her lips and said, “Okay then. Tomorrow it is. If you're early enough you can read Joey a bedtime story. He'd like that."

The hairs on the back of Roy's neck stood on end as he slowly approached the stopped car. Watching the occupants carefully he glanced quickly to his left hoping to see the familiar headlights of the back up assistance he asked for nearly five minutes ago.

He knew the driver and his passengers were getting nervous and people did stupid things when they got nervous.

He gave a sigh of relief, as with a spray of gravel, Tony's patrol car pulled up next to his. Roy motioned to the driver of the stopped car to stay where he was and backed up to the side of Tony's car.

"Whatcha got?” Tony asked from inside the car.

"Traffic violation for starters. But, the description looked familiar so I ran their plates and the car is stolen."

"And their still sitting there?"

"Yeah, freaks me out too, usually they run."

"Want me to pull my car up in front of theirs?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll stay behind and keep an eye on them."

Roy watched Tony put his car into gear and slowly ease into traffic so he could pull in front of the stopped car. Just as his rear bumper passed theirs he heard the roar of an engine. Thinking fast, he protected his face from gravel being thrown by the spinning tires while at the same time he pulled out his gun and yelled for the driver to stop his car.

Not heeding his warnings, the car continued to try and maneuver around Tony's patrol car. Roy could tell Tony was pushing his driving skills to the limit as he moved forward and backward in his attempt to keep the stolen car from going around him. Tires squealed in protest and gears grinded. One mailbox flattened. Then another crushed under the tires of the stolen car. In seconds, the runaway car was wedged between Tony's cruiser and a fire hydrant. They weren't going anywhere.

Heart pounding, the adrenalin rushing through his body, Roy raced to the car with his gun drawn and aimed it at the driver. “Stop the car now!” He yelled loud at the driver to make sure he was heard over the engine and through the closed window.

The boys in the back seat of the car already had their hands up above their heads. Their eyes darted from the driver to Roy and back again. Roy risked a quick glance at the boy in the passenger seat. His hands weren't visible and that made him anxious. He didn't need any surprises at this point.

Roy yelled again, this time motioning with his gun. He took a quick gulp of air as the driver put his forehead on the steering wheel and held up his hands. The passenger, seeing his driver defeated, reluctantly put his hands up as well.

Yelling for the driver to turn off the car and exit the vehicle, Roy kept his eyes alert and his body taut for any sudden moves.

Tony, his car secured, approached the passenger side of the car and motioned for the others to get out.

Sweat poured from every pore as Roy tried to be everywhere at once. There were too many opportunities for something to go wrong and he wanted to eliminate them as quickly as possible. He reached for his handcuffs to secure the driver while Tony had the backseat occupants on the ground.

More patrol cars pulled up fast and furious to the scene to help secure the area. Good for Tony, Roy thought. He even knew to call for additional backup while he was keeping the boys from running with his car.

Three in handcuffs, one more to go; Roy approached the final suspect, the passenger.

"What's your name, son."

Silence.

"I said, what's your name."

More silence.

"Fine, if that's the way you want to play the game. We can do that. Spread your legs; arms behind your head.” Roy checked one pant leg then the other. He wondered how these kids ever kept their pants up and how could they walk with such wide pant legs. This boy's pants must have measured a good eighteen inches across the bottom. He knew by experience that with such wide-open spaces, anything and everything could be hidden from sight. While he was carefully searching the boy's crotch area, his hands hit something hard and made of metal. His pulse, already fast from the previous action started racing again.

"Tony, get over here!"

He looked at the boy who kept a sullen pout on his face. “What do you have in your pants, son?"

"Nuthin’”

"Don't tell me that's nuthin', keep your hands behind your head.” Roy ordered the boy to resume his position when he saw the hands slowly lower.

"Yeah, Roy, what's up?"

"I think we have a concealed weapon here.” Roy told his partner. “In the crotch.” He grimaced. “Keep him covered while I remove it."

"You got it.” He turned to the boy and pulled his gun from its holster. “Don't even think about moving. We'll get this over fast and easy, okay?"

The boy said nothing but his eyes glared volumes.

"Hang on a minute, I have to remove this damn belt,” Roy said. Trusting Tony, he focused his attention on the complicated belt that barely kept the boy's pants around the top of his thighs. Flinging the belt away from the immediate area, he gingerly reached into the waistband and pulled the pants away from the boy's body. “I'm reaching in to remove the weapon."

"Go for it, partner.” Tony said as he kept his eyes and gun trained on the boy for any movement.

"I have the gun, now I'm removing the gun.” Roy said loudly. He knew that times like this any action could be misinterpreted and twisted during court. He was speaking loudly and clearly for the video camera that was running in his patrol car positioned so it faced toward the scene. He wanted no mistakes.

With the weapon in hand, he turned it over to one of the officers who was collecting evidence and then turned back to help Tony.

"Okay, we got it. Now let's get this boy dressed again so we can get him a nice comfy seat in the back of one of the patrol cars."

While Tony cuffed the boy's hands behind his back, Roy secured his pants at the waist.

"Now, this is where you're supposed to wear your pants. See that you remember it."

Silence.

"Doesn't talk much, does he?” Tony asked.

"No, not much now, but I bet he'll be talking up a storm when it comes time to plead his case.” Roy gave the boy a small shove into the direction of his patrol car while he held onto his arm. “Come on, kid. Let's go for a ride, this time I'll drive."

It was near the end of his shift by the time Roy finished the paperwork on the stolen car and arrests. He glanced at his watch to check the time. He'd promised Joanne he'd stop by to tuck Joey into bed. Another quick check of his watch told him it was well past Joey's bedtime and knowing Joanne, she wouldn't have let him stay up this late.

He clicked the Save button on the computer and pushed back his chair to stretch. Finished. Now he could get back out on the street and finish up his shift. He grabbed his jacket and headed down the hall to the closest exit near the parking lot.

"Hey, Roy, wait up."

Roy turned to see Tony hurrying down the hallway toward him.

"What's up, I'm heading out."

"Yeah, me too, but I wanted to catch you before you left."

Roy fell into step beside his friend as they walked toward their cars.

"There's something different about you, man. You okay?” Tony asked.

"Yeah, sure."

"I don't know. You just weren't the same on that arrest tonight, not that that's a bad thing. I mean, when it came to getting into the thick of the action, you were never shy, know what I mean? But, this time, you followed procedure; even let other officers do their job without butting in. What's up with that?"

Roy laughed. “I don't know what you're talking about. I always follow procedure."

"Yeah, right.” Tony argued. “What about that hostage situation a few weeks ago. Whose bright idea was it to make himself a target to distract the guy?"

"That was different. We needed to do something fast before he started killing hostages."

"Uh huh. And tonight? You never call for back up. What's up with that?"

"I just thought it would be safer."

"Uh huh. Safer. You're different, man. Not that I'm complaining. I like the change. Makes me think you're gonna be around a while longer, ya know?"

"Get out of here, will ya? You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, right. Must be my imagination. See ya at the end of shift."

"Yeah, see ya."

Roy threw his jacket into the passenger seat and started up his car. While he backed up and drove out of the parking lot, he thought about what Tony said. He knew he was different and he knew it wasn't Tony's imagination. He was keeping it safer and sticking closer to procedure.

Did it feel different? Yeah. Did he understand why? Yeah, he could answer that question too. Joanne. And Joey. They were on his mind and in his thoughts. He wasn't the same guy he was before. No longer did he feel like the immortal hero who could risk his life every day and not think about the consequences.

This was important and he wanted to talk to Joanne about it.

"You're late."

"Yeah, I know. I want to talk to you about that.” Roy said as he sat down on the worn couch with a weary sigh.

"I let Joey wait up for you a half hour past his bed time.” Joanne wasn't finished being angry and hurt. “You promised."

"I know, babe. But, we had a situation to deal with tonight.” He rushed on. “Nothing we couldn't handle, and it ended up well, so don't worry, but it could have just as easily gone terribly wrong."

Instantly cautious, Joanne asked, “What do you mean?"

"I don't want to get into it, but it had to do with a stolen car, some kids and a gun."

"A gun? Did someone get shot? Were you in danger?"

"Yes. No. Sort of.” Roy tried to answer all her questions.

Instant replays of Sheila's warnings played in Joanne's head. She tried to block them out while she concentrated on deciphering Roy's cryptic answers.

"Which is it? Were you involved in a shooting?” The blood drained from Joanne's face as she imagined the worse.

"Damn it,” Roy swore and jumped up from the couch just as Joanne swayed on her feet. He placed her on the couch and stumbled into the kitchen to wet a towel to place on her forehead.

"I'm fine.” Joanne tried to push his hands away.

"No you're not. When was the last time you ate?"

"I dunno, maybe lunch.” She pouted up at his face. “I was waiting to have dinner with you."

He swore again. “You can't do that, Joanne. You just can't. If I'm not here then you have to just eat without me, okay?” He softened his tone and kissed her gently on the nose.

"But—"

"No but's about it. I mean it. Things like this are going to happen. I can't have you fainting on me, when I'm not here to make sure you eat."

Joanne snorted with a short laugh. “I don't faint, thank you very much. And I can take care of myself."

"Uh huh. You're doing a great job so far."

"I was just excited about cooking our first dinner together so I might have over done it a bit being worried about you. But, that doesn't excuse why you're late."

Roy shifted her from the couch to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her. “Look, honey, these things are going to happen. Not a lot. But they happen. And when they do, you have to trust me to know how to take care of myself. I've been a cop for a long time."

Snuggling into Roy's shoulder, Joanne felt a piece of her heart fall off and break. Her chest tightened. “I don't know if I can handle this, Roy. Worrying if you're going to come home after your shift. Watching Joey's face when I have to tell him that you're not coming. Wondering if you ever will come back after you walk out that door?"

Repositioning himself, Roy held Joanne by the arms so he could look into her face. “We have to get through this, Joanne.” He gave her a little shake then held her close. “I'm not the same guy I was before. I realize that now. I'm not going to risk getting involved in any unnecessary danger. That's what I realized tonight. I thought about you and Joey and I ... I couldn't leave you. Not that way."

"But you don't know, Roy. You don't have control over the universe."

"No, I don't, but I have control over myself and my surroundings."

Jumping up, Joanne started pacing. “Things happen. It's dangerous. You just never know."

"We can't give up, just because of a possibility."

"I know, but I ... damn it, Roy.” Joanne stomped her foot. “You're not making this easy."

"I'm not making this easy?” Roy stood with his arms stretched out. “I'm not? All I'm asking is that you have a little faith in my abilities and trust me."

"It's not that easy."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid, that's why."

"There's a difference in being afraid and letting your fear consume you."

"You don't understand.” Joanne wrung her hands then thrust them in the pocket of her jeans.

"I don't understand?” Roy repeated. “You don't know me at all, do you?” He stood up and moved toward the door.

"Wait..."

Roy stood with his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave. “What?"

"I just need some time, maybe to get used to this."

"Used to my job? Use to my life? What's there to get used to? Maybe you're making this too hard on purpose?"

"Roy...” Joanne couldn't quite meet Roy's eyes.

"You have my number, call me when you've come to your senses."

"And then what?” Sheila asked as she counted out juice boxes and put them in the cooler.

"Then, nothing. He walked out. I haven't talked to him since.” Joanne spread peanut butter and jelly on slices of bread to make sandwiches.

"Oh, hon, I'm so sorry."

Joanne sniffed. “It's really no big deal. I mean, it's not like we did anything, you know. So we hung out for a while. No big deal."

"Look at me.” Sheila put the juice boxes down and turned to her friend with concern.

"I'm busy, I'll look at you later.” Joanne refused to make eye contact keeping herself busy with the sandwiches.

"Look at me, Jo. And tell me you don't think it's any big deal.” Sheila put a hand on Joanne's arm to gently stop her from continuing.

Joanne turned to her friend and said, “its no big deal.” Then she looked away quickly.

"Uh huh.” Sheila pursed her lips and watched her friend pretend to be busy making sandwiches.

"It's for the best. Really. Joey and I are just fine on our own. We don't need anyone else. Besides, Roy never would have stuck around. We're too boring for him. His job is exciting and dangerous. He needs an exciting life. We'd just get in the way."

"Well, I'll give you dangerous, but I don't know about exciting. As for you being too boring, I don't buy that.” Sheila added paper towels and a carton of wet wipes to the tote bag. “I'm not arguing with you, girl, I just want you to be happy is all."

"I am happy. I have a wonderful son and a great friend who I can talk to, what more do I need?"

Sheila smiled at her giving her a wicked look.

"I don't need that, thank you very much.” Playfully punching her friend's arm, Joanne said, “I've done without it for four years now what's another few years?"

"Torture, pure torture!"

"Come on, let's take the boys to the playground and have our picnic."

"Joey! Justin! Come on, let's go outside."

The girls and their sons walked the short distance to the small playground inside the apartment complex. It only had a few swings and a small maze of tunnels and slides, but it was clean. Joanne nodded to Joey that it was okay for him to go play. He and Justin hurried to the tunnels and continued the game of cops and robbers they had been playing inside.

Sheila put the cooler onto the small picnic table along with the tote bag. When she sat down the table rocked to one side on its uneven legs.

"Sheesh! This thing's dangerous."

"Here let me see if I can help steady it.” Joanne found a small rock and placed it under one of the legs. It stopped most of the wobbling so that they could put their sodas on the table without fear they'd fall over.

Uncertain if her friend was going to continue their conversation from earlier, Joanne hurried to fill the gap of silence. “Who's that man sitting over there?"

"What? Which man?"

"That one, over there near the boys? Have you seen him before?"

"Oh, yeah. He lives on the other side of the complex, over near Sadie. Has a wife I think."

"Wonder what he's doing out here?” Joanne asked while she arranged the bag of chips between the two of them.

"Maybe enjoying the day, like us?"

"I guess so. I just get so paranoid when it comes to Joey and strangers. You hear about abductions all the time on the news and I just don't want to take any chances."

"What can happen, we're right here watching."

"I suppose so, I just don't like the look of that man. He's watching the kids too close."

"He looks safe enough. I mean, he doesn't look like a letch or anything. He's dressed neat enough. Nothing dirty or grungy about him.” Sheila smiled and popped a chip into her mouth. “I heard from Sadie that he and his wife just lost a baby. He's probably feeling bad and likes being around kids."

"Lost a baby? Oh, how sad.” Joanne looked at the man again, this time with sincere pity in her eyes. “I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm sorry now that I suspected him. I guess I am too paranoid."

"Don't be too sorry. You're just being careful.” With the expert of motherhood and seeming to have eyes in the back of her head, Sheila yelled, “Justin, put that stick down."

"I'm starting to grow eyes in the back of my head too. Amazing how that happens.” Joanne laughed.

"Ya gotta, especially with little boys. Gotta watch ‘em like a hawk."

"Tell me about it. Yesterday, Joey decided that he could make his own breakfast. I woke up to cereal from one end of the apartment to the other. You should have seen him sitting in the middle of a puddle of milk with the roll of paper towels."

"He's growing up so fast."

"Tell me about it."

"So, how is he taking this Roy business?"

Joanne sighed. It was inevitable; she knew her friend would turn the conversation around eventually. “He still asks about him every day. He gets this lost little look in his eyes, it about breaks my heart every time I see it."

"That's too bad. I guess seeing him again would only make it worse?"

"Yeah, probably would."

"Well, get ready for worse."

"What?” Joanne looked at her friend as if she'd just grown two heads. “What are you talking about?"

Sheila nodded toward the parking lot. “That. Look what's coming this way."

Joanne turned her head then gasped. Walking across the grass was the one person she'd been thinking about on a nightly basis. The one man she'd nearly given her heart and all that went with it. The one person she didn't think she'd ever see again.

"Roy.” She whispered.

"Yep,” Sheila said, “Here comes Roy."

Hoping she could talk to Roy before Joey saw him, Joanne pushed herself away from the table so hard she knocked the rock away from the table leg. Items on the table fell over or jumped in succession as first Joanne then Sheila attempted to balance the table with their body. Ignoring the bump on her knee from hitting the table, she winced when her son spotted Roy and took off like a shot to intercept him. “Woy! Woy!"

"Too late,” Sheila muttered as if she had read Joanne's mind and knew what she was trying to do.

Joanne watched Roy stop and swing Joey up in his arms and onto his shoulders. She dropped her head on the table and moaned when Joey wrapped his chubby arms around Roy's neck and hugged him tight. “Oh, God. Look at the two of them.” She looked up at her friend. “I don't know if I can handle this on my own. Don't leave, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, hon. Whatever you want."

"That's the problem. When he's not around, I'm so sure what I want. But, just looking at him again. Seeing him with Joey makes me question my own mind. What do I want?"

"Only you know for sure."

"What, you're getting all philosophical on me now? What happen to you giving me all your great advice?"

Sheila looked up as Roy slowly approached the table. “You don't need my advice now,” she whispered. “You just need my support. I'm here for you.” She stopped talking to her friend and looked up. “Well, hello there stranger. Slumming?"

"Sheila!” Joanne's mouth dropped open.

"Ah, he knows I'm joking. Right, Roy?"

"Yeah, sure.” Roy shifted his hold on Joey and sat hesitantly down next to Joanne. “Hi."

"Hi.” Joanne fidgeted with the tote bag handle. She folded a piece of paper towel over and over not meeting Roy's eyes.

Giving her friend a kick under the table, Sheila turned to Roy, “What brings you to this side of town on your day off?"

"How do you know it's my day off?” Roy asked her but kept his eyes on Joanne.

Sheila laughed. “Oh come on. The sun is shining and you're out of uniform."

"I guess you got me there.” He took a bite of the sandwich Joey offered him. “Yum. Peanut butter and jelly. My favorite."

"Joey, be careful you don't make a mess.” Joanne said as she watched her son hand feed Roy. Sheila's kick told her to take charge of the situation but she just couldn't believe that Roy was sitting there so calmly while she was in turmoil inside. Giving herself a mental shake she took a deep breath and turned to Roy, “So, what are you doing here?” She stared at her son pointedly hoping that Roy got the message to watch what he said.

He got the point. “I thought I'd stop by and see how my little buddy was doing."

Joey's ears perked up. “Me?"

"Of course, you. Aren't you my little buddy?"

"You ... my buddy ... too.” Joey mumbled his response in between chewing his sandwich.

"Joey, don't talk with your mouth full.” Joanne spoke to her son, but she kept her eyes on Roy. What was he doing here, really? She knew Joey was just an excuse, not the main reason. As far as she was concerned, nothing had changed in their situation. She watched as he got up from the table and went with Joey and Justin to play. They crawled through the tunnels and slid down the slide. This man, who captured the heart and attention of her son, could so easily insert himself into their perfect relationship. This man who wanted to be a part of their family. This man. He could change their life so completely. Was that what she really wanted? Did she have the strength to find out?

"Am I nuts?” She asked her friend.

"Do you want the truth?"

"Of course."

"You're not nuts."

"Thanks.” She made a face at her friend.

"I think you're in love."

"Now you're nuts."

"Why? Because I can see what you can't? Because you're too stubborn to see it for yourself? Because you're too scared to let someone else into your life?"

"I'm not stubborn."

"Oh, right.” Sheila rolled her eyes at her friend.

"I'm not."

"Um hmmm ... funny you react by saying you're not stubborn but you don't refute that you're scared."

Joanne looked away. “I'm not afraid.” She let her voice trail off, then spoke again. “Joey and I are all we have for each other. We've learned to live that way for four years from hard experience."

"You know what? I think you've used that excuse one too many times.” Sheila touched Joanne's hand. “Listen to me, hon. Do you really want to be alone for the rest of your life? Do you think it's going to get easier as Joey grows older? Don't you deserve to have a chance at happiness? Doesn't Joey?"

"But..."

"You're done with excuses. It's your choice."

"I am afraid.” Joanne spoke softly. Her voice low and hesitant. “I'm afraid to get hurt again."

It'd been three days since Joanne confessed to her friend Sheila that she was afraid of getting hurt. Now, the one person who had the ability to hurt her the most was going to walk through that door any minute. Was she ready? It didn't matter anymore, what did matter was that she was finding it hard to live without him in her life. The time had come for her to make a decision. She needed Roy here, now. Before she chickened out again.

The knock sounded so softly she didn't hear it at first. It caught her off guard. Drawing in a deep breath, resolving to stay strong, she opened the door. Roy stood on the other side looking as hesitant as she felt.

"Hi.” Roy said.

"Hi yourself."

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure. Come on in."

Roy stood to the side of the door, rocking from one foot to the other, waiting while Joanne shut and locked the door. She watched him for a few seconds before she said, “have a seat."

"Thanks."

Joanne took a seat on the sofa opposite the chair. She smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her slacks. She tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't want to be the first to say something but she knew she had no choice. Roy was as stubborn as she was. If she let it, the staring contest could go on all night.

"Thank you for coming over.” There, she said something. Something stupid. But she said something. She gave herself credit for that.

"You didn't give me much choice. You said if I wanted to save whatever was left of our relationship I should come over."

"I appreciate you coming."

"So, where's Joey?"

"He's at Sheila's. I figured that was best, considering."

"Yeah, considering."

Watching the man sitting across from her, Joanne could almost feel the heat emanating from his body. He was tense. He was barely holding it together and here she was making small talk. She knew he was waiting for her to make the first move.

"Roy, I...” She started to speak, but words escaped her. She stood up and crossed over to where he sat. She knelt down in front on him and took his hands in hers. “Please forgive me?"

"Joanne, you don't need to apologize, it should be me saying I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one who kept pushing you away. All you were doing was offering me,” she gulped, “yourself. I'm so sorry.” Tears fell from her eyes. She didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Honey, it's okay. Everything's okay now.” Roy wrapped his arms around Joanne and pulled her into his lap. He stroked her soft hair and held her close.

"Roy, I do want to trust you. I really do. I want you in my life. I want you in our lives. Joey and me. We need you."

Roy crushed her to his chest. He held her tight. “Oh God, Joanne, I need you. Both of you.” He rained kisses down her wet cheeks and across her eyes and forehead. He pushed her hair back and kissed her ears too. Each kiss sealed his need for her.

Putting a hand on each side of his face, Joanne stared deep into Roy's eyes. She kissed him deeply on his firm mouth then leaned back to look into his eyes once again. “Roy. Please make love to me.” Her eyes never wavered. Certainty claimed possession of her nerves. “Now."

"Your wish is my command."

"Really?"

"Really. All you have to do is ask."

Joanne smiled. “Will you make love to me?"

Roy gathered her up in his arms and stood. He held her so close she could feel his heart beating quickly beneath her own breast. She snuggled closer into his embrace and pointed to the hall. “My bedroom's that way."

"Yes ma'am."

In only a few steps, Joanne floated from the living room to her bedroom. The man carrying her laid her gently on the bed then knelt beside her. He touched her face with just a fingertip and traced an imaginary line from her forehead to her chin.

She licked her lips, then parted them slightly.

His fingertip continued its journey, exploring her neck and ears.

She shivered uncontrollably as if ice had trickled down her spine.

The fingertip encountered a block in its path. The buttons of her blouse. First one, then another, and another were removed from the fingertip's path. Freedom for the finger to travel unhampered again.

Joanne gasped for air as another shiver slid through her body.

Before the fingertip dipped down to the valley between her breasts it started its climb back up. It climbed over one swollen mound then up the side of her neck across her chin and stopped at her lips. Her front teeth bit down tentatively on her lower lip. Now that the moment was upon her, she was uncertain about how to continue.

Joanne lay beneath Roy, locking eyes. She tried to tell him with all her might and mind to be gentle, that it had been a long time.

She sighed with relief when he said to her, “Let's take this slow. I'm not in any hurry, are you?"

All she could do was shake her head, then wrap her arms around his neck. Thankful that he understood; embarrassed now that she had appeared so needful, Joanne turned her face into his shoulder.

She kissed his neck, feeling the smoothness of his cheek against hers. She smiled to herself, knowing that he'd shaved just for her, knowing that he'd find a similar smoothness along her legs and thighs. Feeling brave she moved her lips up to his ear and nibbled lightly on the fleshy lobe. She smiled with delight as Roy's body went tense above hers and she could feel him hold his breath. She thrilled in knowing she could affect him as much as he did her. Those same chills that skipped along her spine were now coursing their way through his body.

Unsure of what to do next, Joanne let her body lead her along. She ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed the part of his neck where she'd been kissing. It must have been the right thing to do, because Roy's gasp spurred her on to even more daring moves.

She let her hands slide down over his shoulders and across his solid chest. His muscles rippled beneath her fingertips. Smoothing her hands flat, she could feel his heart beat beneath the palm of her hand. It's fast pace matched her pulse.

Sliding her hands further down, she skimmed his stomach, nearly jumping as it contracted back away from her fingers. She looked up and smiled, catching Roy watching her with tenderness shining in his eyes, along with a deep smoldering fire waiting to be unleashed.

He was letting her set the pace. Her feelings for him swelled inside and burst with an explosion of lights behind her eyes. She loved him. Pure and simple, she loved him with her entire being. Should she share her feelings with him? Could she? Suddenly shy and uncertain she pulled her hands back, tightened them into fists and held them at her side.

"Are you okay?” Roy asked. “Are we moving too fast?"

"No, not at all. I'm...” Joanne cleared her throat. Tell him a voice screamed from inside. “Roy, I ... I love you.” She rushed the words and hid her face in the crook of his arm.

Roy carefully pulled her from his arm and stared deep into her eyes. “Joanne.” His eyes grew bright and shiny. “Oh, God. Joanne.” A tear fell onto her cheek. “I love you.” He leaned down and kissed her mouth. First delicately, then with more and more pressure. His tongue sneaked past her soft lips and found its way to her own. The kiss deepened further, until they were of one breath.

Joanne lost all track of time and space. She floated within Roy's arms. She heard him murmur her name over and over as she responded with his. Time lost all meaning. Nothing existed outside of her bedroom. She kissed him back, wanting more. Needing more. Her hands roamed restlessly along his back and shoulders. She found the hem of his t-shirt and pushed it up and out of the way so she could feel the warmth of his skin. Her fingers ached to touch every inch of his big, strong body. She nearly cried out in frustration when Roy pulled away.

"Wait, baby.” He captured her flailing hands in his. “All in good time, Jo, but this time is for you. Lay back and relax. Let me show you how much I love you.” He kissed the tips of her fingers. “How much you mean to me.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “How much I need you.” He kissed her forehead, then her chin.

Nestling herself among the pillows, Joanne lay back, melting beneath Roy's tender touch.

He stretched the length of his body next to hers then lifted himself up to lean over her and look deep into her eyes.

"You are my world, Joanne.” His breath warm against her cheek.

"Oh, Roy."

"Every day, in every way, I am going to show you how much you mean to me.” He kissed her lower lip, sucking it into his mouth then letting go. “Just like this.” He kissed her upper lip in the same way. “Every day.” He captured both lips.

Joanne sunk deep into the kiss. Roy's love poured into her and surrounded her so that she felt safe and secure.

His fingertips once again followed the same path they'd blazed earlier. Down her face, then to her neck, and deeper until they reached the same impasse as before. Without hesitation, he finished the task of unbuttoning her blouse that he'd started earlier. This time he didn't stop until all the buttons were undone. Until she lay exposed to his eyes and to his touch. So exposed that she ached for him with a painfully, growing need.

She didn't have long to wait. His warm hands spanned her waist as if he were trying to memorize every inch of her body. They moved upward until they cupped her naked breasts. She knew now the decision to not wear a bra was the right one. He caressed each breast as if they were the finest porcelain china.

Joanne felt her nipples tighten and stretch forward. They ached to be touched so much she thought she'd faint away if they weren't. Dear God, she begged. Please don't let me faint now.

Roy felt the growing need in his body but pushed it down. Now was not the time. He knew Joanne had only been with one man—once. That act conceived her son. He wanted to show her another side of making love. He wanted to show her how much he could love her in every way.

Her beauty overwhelmed him. Her flawless body molded perfectly into his hands. Her smooth skin felt like satin beneath his fingertips.

He looked down at the woman he loved. He saw the trust and love reflecting in her eyes.

She loved him.

Miracles do happen. He had found the love that was missing from his life. Joanne captured his heart and held it in the palm of her hand.

Kissing the inside of her wrist, he traced a fingertip from her face, down her neck, over her shoulders to the perky tip of her breast. The shiver that ran through her body rippled through his as well.

Pleasure for pleasure, this would be a night they'd enjoy, together.

He licked his lips in anticipation of filling his mouth with her succulent breast. No longer able to wait, he leaned over and drew the tip of her nipple into his mouth. He heard her gasp. He moved slowly, savoring every tender nibble. He drew more of her nipple into his mouth. Again she gasped. This time her hands clasped his head.

Would she pull his head away? No, she held him tight, hard to her breast, letting him suckle to his heart's content.

His tongue swirled first one nipple then the other. He couldn't make up his mind which perky tip tasted better. He tested each again.

Joanne's body writhed beneath his, pushing upward as if trying to meld into one.

She wanted him.

She needed him. He knew this like he knew his own name.

And she would have him. His hands slid around her back and slipped the blouse off her body. He cast it aside. He sank his hands into her soft hair and marveled at its silky texture. Amazing, he thought. Her entire body felt like silk, from head to toe.

Starting at her forehead, he trailed kisses down her face, down her neck, across her breasts, to her stomach. Her body shook in anticipation of a pleasure she had never known. He would be her first.

First to claim her body as a man claims a treasured masterpiece.

First to give her intimate delights she'd never experienced in her life. He found satisfaction in those thoughts.

His lips dipped lower, until they encountered the fabric of her slacks. Pushing the material down, in a matter of seconds they too were tossed aside joining the blouse somewhere near the edge of the bed.

Leaning back, Roy gazed down at the woman beneath him. Nearly naked, with only a tiny piece of material left between him and her complete surrender. She gazed back, love shining brightly in her eyes. “Dear God, what did I ever do to deserve you?” Roy growled the words, his voice thick with emotion.

"You rescued me. From myself."

He swept her up in his arms and held her tight. He never wanted to let her go, fearing he'd never find her again. Gently, he laid her back against the pillows and let his hands glide down her stomach to her thighs. Parting them slightly, he brushed the sensitive skin inside her thighs with his fingertips.

Her body quivered beneath his touch.

Leaning down, Roy placed a gentle kiss along her hip. Her body burned his lips. So fierce was his desire to possess her he had to force his need to back off. Soft tufts of hair peeking out from the material between her legs tickled his chin. He continued his kisses across from one hip to the other and back again. He'd never tasted anything so sweet. Yet, he knew he'd taste more. Flicking his tongue out, he licked at the inside of her thigh, delighting in each quiver and quaver of her body. He licked higher, up her thigh, until he tasted the silky material of her panties.

Exploring the soft, tender skin he nibbled lightly, gently, determinedly at the edges of the material. It grew wet with his saliva. Wet with something more. Something sweeter, like honey from the queen's source.

No longer satisfied, Roy slid the panties to the side and delved deeper into the source of her inner nectar. With a wrenching tear, the panties were cast aside.

Joanne moaned deep in her throat. Roy was doing things to her that she'd never experienced before, never dreamed could bring her so much intense pleasure. So much enjoyable pain. Her hands grabbed at the bedding and balled it into her fists.

She swung her head from side to side. What was this magnificent feeling building up inside of her? How could something so sinful feel so good? Roy was moving over her body touching her and kissing her in such a way that her face would burn with embarrassed heat if it didn't already burn with a smoldering fire of desire.

As much as she was enjoying what he was doing to her, she had an intense need for something more.

Her body ached for more. Pleasure rippled through her as her hips ground into the bed. Her hands stretched out and found Roy's hard, tense shoulders to grab onto and hold. Her fingers kneaded his back, attempting to send him a hidden message about her aching desire.

Another wave of passion swelled and crashed over her. No longer could she fight against the pleasure. Time lost all meaning. Bright pinpricks of light flashed behind her tightly squeezed eyelids. Gasp after gasp escaped her dry mouth in between the sound of her voice calling out Roy's name.

Throwing herself forward, she curled her body around the man who just took her to new heights of pleasure of which she'd never seen. She stroked his hair with one hand while she pushed aside sweaty strands of her own.

"Roy, you were amazing.” Joanne whispered hoarsely. Her voice cracking against the dryness. “My God, what you did to me.” She licked at the side of his neck, seeking any moisture for her parched tongue. She sought out his mouth, and drank deeply of his kisses.

Lifting his head, Roy smiled. He kissed her softly then harder and increased the pressure with more ardent passion as he felt Joanne give in to her need for a deeper fulfillment. She writhed beneath him as he helped slide her back up the length of the bed.

Kissing her lips, swollen from being bitten, Roy positioned himself to enter Joanne's body. Tenderly and carefully, Roy held himself in check even though he wanted nothing more than to plunge himself into her wetness. With infinite patience, he entered slowly, only advancing when Joanne's body opened in gentle pulsating waves.

Rocking forward and back, Roy helped Joanne find the rhythm of their bodies. With each stroke their loved flowed. With each caress their love grew. With each touch, their walls crumbled and tumbled down.

Roy was infinitely patient with Joanne as they made love again and again that night. During their passive moments, while catching their breath they talked and while they talked they shared more intimate moments about each other's life.

Joanne learned about Roy's childhood growing up as an only child and Roy learned about Joanne's struggles to raise a child on her own.

They talked until the darkness ceased to conceal their faces. Now, with eyes and hesitant, shy grins they could express their love for each other openly and honestly.

"It's morning already.” Joanne said.

"Ummm ... hmm...” Roy nibbled along Joanne's bare shoulder exposed above the sheet.

"I've never stayed up all night, um, making love before.” Joanne ducked her red face from Roy's eyes.

"You've never stayed up doing a lot of things.” Roy kissed the soft nape of her neck. “We're just going to have to change that."

"You promise?"

"You betcha. I"ll make it my solemn duty to initiate you in the art of making love."

"You'll take your job seriously?” Joanne grinned.

"As serious as a heart attack, ma'am. I won't shirk my duties one bit.” He nibbled on her lower lip. “And, if I do, you'll just have to punish me by making me stay after class."

Joanne couldn't have responded if she wanted to because Roy captured her lips and kissed her deeply. Passion stirred once more within her and feeling bolder, she reached for Roy to let him know she was eager for another lesson.

In the days that followed, Roy's car became a permanent fixture outside of Jo's apartment in the evenings. Joanne hurried home from work each afternoon, anxious for the day to end so she could welcome Roy in her bed with open arms.

Joey had become quite used to waking up in the mornings to find Roy sitting at the kitchen table waiting to have breakfast with him.

"Hi Woy!"

"Hi Sport, what's on the menu this morning?” Roy helped Joey up into a chair and placed a bowl and spoon in front of him.

"Ceweal."

"Cereal it is.” While Roy shook honey nut toasty oh's into Joey's bowl with one hand, he poured milk with the other. Leaning back he was able to swipe a quick kiss as Jo squeezed through to open the refrigerator.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you.” Joanne kissed him back then took the milk from him to put it back in the refrigerator.

"Mommy?"

"Did you sleep well?” Roy asked while he spooned cereal into his mouth.

"Like a dream.” Joanne smiled at him.

"Mommy?” Joey raised his voice a bit to be heard over the adults’ usual morning chatter. “Mommy!"

"Joey, how many times have I told you not to use your outside voice inside?"

"Mommy, does Woy sweep wif you in your bed?"

Cereal and milk sprayed across the table as Roy coughed and choked on the spoonful he'd just placed into his mouth.

"Honey, why do you think Roy sleeps with Mommy?” Joanne patted Joey's head and threw a desperate look to Roy.

"He hafta sleep somewhere. He can't tay up all night.” Joey looked between his mommy and Roy as if he had to explain simple details to them. “Justin said so."

"Justin told you that Roy sleeps with mommy?"

Joey nodded his head vigorously up and down.

"Hmmm, mommy's going to have to talk to auntie Sheila about little ears,” she tossed a chagrined smile to Roy who had finally recovered enough to go back to eating his breakfast.

"He was bound to ask sooner or later,” Roy said between bites of cereal.

"I know, but I was hoping it would be later than sooner."

"Is it so bad that he knows?"

"I'll find a way to explain it to him this afternoon when I pick him up from Susan's after work.

"You'll do great."

"Thanks. I have a feeling it's going to be a great day."

The room spun around her. She clutched at the telephone receiver as if it were her lifeline. The voice on the other end kept repeating but Joanne wasn't hearing. She couldn't understand what was being said.

"Joanne, honey? I need you to listen to me."

"Susan, are you okay? What's the matter? Is it Joey?” Joanne rushed on. “Is Joey okay? They said I had an emergency call."

"Stay calm. I'm fine. We ... we ... think the kids ... are ... okay too."

"What do you mean you think the kids are okay too?” Joanne shouted into the phone. “What's going on, Susan?"

Silence.

"Susan! Tell me what's happened to Joey!"

Nothing but sobbing responded to Joanne's cries. “Damn it, Susan. Tell me what's going on."

Looking frantically around the now hushed office, Joanne saw sympathy and sincere concern in her co-workers eyes. Another voice came onto the line. A man's voice.

"Ma'am? This is Officer Martin. We have a situation here at the apartment complex. We need you to come home immediately. We'll send a car for you, just give us your address."

"Please, tell me what happened to my little boy. Please.” Joanne held the phone tight, her knuckles blazing white to match her face.

"There's a hostage situation, ma'am, and we haven't determined yet if your child is one of the children in question."

"Oh my God.” Joanne's knees buckled and she slid to the floor. The telephone receiver dangled from its cord next to her. From a great distance she vaguely heard Sara give the clinic's address to the officer on the phone. A loud buzzing vibrated between her ears. Arms reached for her and helped lift her to her feet. Someone shoved her purse and sweater into her arms.

"My baby,” she said. “My little baby boy."

"Honey, the police are going to take care of your boy."

"Joey?"

"Yes, darling. Joey will be fine. You just wait and see, okay?"

Sara guided Joanne to the curb outside the clinic where the police car was waiting. She helped her into the back seat and gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Joanne focused her eyes straight ahead and set her lips in a firm line. “Please take me to my baby.” She gripped the wire mesh between the front seat and the back seat. “Please. Is he all right?"

"Ma'm, I'm Officer Martin. We haven't assessed yet which children are involved. When we get to the scene, I'll take you to the officer in charge and he can let you know what's going on."

Joanne was silent for the rest of the short ride to the apartment complex. In her mind, she prayed that Joey was all right and she'd be holding him soon. She clutched her purse to her chest and hurried after Officer Martin as soon as the vehicle stopped and she was let out of the back seat.

Already there were news vans and television station reporters congregated in the small parking lot. Cameras swung towards her as the officer made a path for her to follow.

Broken fragments of conversations floated past her, too quickly for her to grasp. One stuck in her mind and repeated itself over and over.

"—deranged man—"

Joanne searched the crowds, who could help her? Where was Susan? Who were all these people? Just then, Susan's face appeared out of the crowd of her neighbors. Most of them were sobbing and crying onto each other's shoulders. Susan stumbled toward her. “Oh, God. Joanne. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Joanne grabbed her babysitter's arms. “Susan, where is Joey?"

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry, he's in there.” Susan sobbed and pointed to an apartment surrounded by police officers.

"No. No. Please God, no.” Joanne swung around looking for someone, anyone she could talk to and find out what was happening to get her son back. There was noise all around her; everyone was talking at once. She couldn't hear; she couldn't think.

"Joanne.” A hand gently touched her shoulder.

She turned.

"Roy!” Joanne nearly collapsed with relief to see a strong, familiar presence standing in front of her. “Roy, what's happening? Where's Joey?"

"Hi honey. Look. We're working on negotiating with the suspect now. All we can do is wait."

"Negotiate?"

"Yeah. He's holding the kids with what we can figure is a shotgun and maybe a handgun.” Joanne's face went whiter still. Roy hurried to tell her that no shots had been fired.

"But, can't you make him come out?"

"We're working on a plan, sweetheart.” Roy touched the side of her face with his finger. “God, I wish I could take all this away."

"Who's working on a plan? Are you in charge?"

"No, my captain is in charge, and he's good, Jo. If anyone can make this come to a successful end, he can."

Joanne grabbed at Roy's arm. “You fix it, Roy. Please. I need you to bring my baby to me. Will you promise me that?” Joanne's eyes widened. Her breath came in short pants. “Please, Roy. Promise me that Joey'll be okay and you'll find him.” She clutched his hand hard. “Please."

"Jo, I'm going to do everything in my power to get Joey back, safely. You can trust me."

"Roy, I've never trusted anyone before, please, go get my baby."

A hush fell over the crowd. Roy turned Joanne toward the command center to see if he could find out why the crowd calmed down. Shouts of “quiet” came from various directions.

From inside the apartment small sobs and crying could be heard.

The crowd gasped in unison. Reporters hurried to film the crowd's reaction.

Joanne collapsed into Roy's arms clutching his shoulders, shaking him. “My baby's crying, Roy. Please don't let that man hurt my baby. Please don't let him hurt any of those children in there. We need you, Roy.” Joanne turned her red-rimmed eyes upward. “Please."

Joanne pleaded with her entire heart and soul to the man she confessed to loving such a short time ago. She begged Roy to bring her son safely home to her.

Roy couldn't stand to see the desperate and frightened look in Joanne's eyes. His jaw tightened. He was no longer just an officer on duty with a job to do. He was involved. It wasn't just someone's kid being held. It was Joey. Cute, adorable, little Joey who ate breakfast with him this morning. He had to do something to help. He couldn't stand by while a negotiator worked out a deal detail by minute detail.

He held Joanne tight for a moment, then kissed the top of her head. He turned her over to Susan and told Joanne that he was going to go check out what progress had been made in the negotiations. He patted Susan on the arm and told her hang in there; that it wasn't her fault.

He left the two of them clutching each other and crying.

His heart twisted like a knife had been thrust deep.

He promised Joanne he'd fix this. He didn't plan to let her down.

With a determined step, he turned and headed for the central command post that had been set up earlier. He had an idea to discuss with his captain.

Several police officers guarded the group of parents who had huddled together for support. The officers kept the news reporters at bay and gave the parents time to grieve and console each other. Joanne and Susan stood on the perimeter of the group clutching each other.

"Oh, God, Joanne, I'm so sorry. I don't know how it happened. I turned my head for a second, and it all happened so fast."

"Susan, tell me what happened. How did this man get those children in his house?"

Taking a deep hiccupping breath, Susan slowly started her story. “He ... he'd been sitting on the bench next to the playground for awhile. Just like he'd been doing for the last week or so, you know? We didn't pay much attention to him, he seemed harmless enough for so long."

"You mean that same man who...?"

"Yeah. The same one."

"Oh my God."

"The other mothers and sitters were sitting together at the picnic table. We do that most days, just sit and talk and smoke a cigarette while the kids play.” Susan sounded as if she needed to defend her actions.

"I know you do, it's okay."

"But, we always make sure someone is watching the kids. Always."

"And this time?"

"Well, the man, he came out of his apartment with a box of Popsicles. Asked if he could give them to the kids. We said sure, you know. The kids love Popsicles. Then Chrissy said she had to go potty, and well, you know I've been trying to potty-train her for so long. I couldn't just let her pee in her pants. I was so proud of her for asking. So I ran her as quickly as I could into the house. I figured I'd only be gone a few seconds and the kids would be busy eating their treats, not getting into trouble."

Joanne's lips curved into a tiny smile at a memory of Joey eating an orange Popsicle. His lips stained orange along with his tongue. Tears streamed from her eyes, but she motioned for Susan to go on.

"While the kids were all lined up in front of this man's apartment each waiting their turn for a Popsicle I hurried to take Chrissy potty.” Susan rushed on to explain again. “I couldn't ignore her. I was so proud of her for asking.” Susan's hand shook as she brushed back wet strands of hair soaked with sweat and tears. “I never in a million years thought this could happen, honest to God, Jo.” Hiccuping loudly, Susan continued, “When I came back ... Oh God, when I got back, the kids were in his house and he was waving a gun around like a mad man screaming for us to get back."

"What about the other mothers?"

"It happened so fast, none of us could figure out how he did it. One second he's handing out Popsicles the next second the kids are all inside his apartment and he's yelling at everyone to stay back."

"I don't understand, Susan. Why did the kids go in?"

"Oh, honey, we don't know. Maybe he told them to. Maybe he had more treats for them. God only knows."

"What about the police, what did they do?"

"They've been talking to each of us, asking us a bunch of questions. Making us tell the same story over and over."

Joanne shivered in the warmth of the mid-day sun. Her skin cold. “I can't believe this is happening. God, this can't be happening."

"Jo, hon, you're shaking. Let's find you a place to sit down."

Susan walked Joanne to an empty curb and helped her sit down. “I just can't get all the screaming out of my head."

"What screaming? Did he hurt the children?” Joanne clutched Susan's arm tight.

"No, hon, not that we could see, he just kept screaming that it wasn't fair."

"What wasn't fair?"

"It wasn't fair that other folks could have babies and his wife couldn't."

"Oh my God! Have you told this to the police?"

"Yeah, first thing when they showed up. Joanne, do you want me to go get a paramedic? You're shivering like it's 10 degrees outside and it's hotter than hell right now."

"No, I'm fine.” Joanne wrapped her arms around her waist and rocked back and forth. “I just need to get Joey back. I want my baby back."

"The police are doing the best they can. They say it'll all work out in the end. But, I keep thinking, you don't think that man ... that he's going to ... do you think he could ... oh God, could he hurt...” Susan couldn't finish her thought. She stared down helplessly at Joanne sitting on the curb.

Joanne stood up quickly and swayed on her feet. She clutched at Susan for support. “Don't even think that. Just pray real hard that he doesn't."

"What if..."

Grabbing her friend's shoulders, Joanne shook her—hard. “I don't want to hear any what if's, Susan. Roy is here and he's going to get Joey back. He's going to get all those children back safe."

"What can he do, Jo?"

"He'll do whatever it takes. I trust him.” Joanne took in a deep breath and blew it out. “I have to trust him. He's all that I have right now.” She turned her head and stared off into the direction Roy had walked willing him her hope and prayers.

"Captain, it's gotta work."

"I don't know, Bonham, it's risky."

"Yeah, so. Every minute we leave those kids in with that guy is risky too.” Roy ran an agitated hand through his short hair. “Those kids are scared. It's not going to get better the longer we wait."

"If we get you inside, it's up to you to make this plan work."

"I got it covered."

"I mean it, Roy. If there's any doubt in your mind. Get back out of there. Don't try anything that will put those kids in danger."

"You can count on me, Captain."

"I know I can. You're a good man, Roy. A good officer.” He put a hand out to clasp Roy on the shoulder. “Just be careful. These are kids."

"I know, captain.” Roy didn't say it aloud but he added to himself, and one of them is mine. If the captain found out that he had an emotional connection to one of the children being held hostage, he'd be sent far away from here, left to wait and wonder with the other parents. But, Roy wasn't going to tell his captain, and he'd make sure no one else did either.

It didn't take long for the police to locate the hostage taker's wife. They hurried her into the makeshift command center and sat her down for questioning. She seemed as shocked and scared as the rest of the parents crowded together waiting for news.

"Ma'am are you married to the man residing in apartment 12B?"

"Ye-yes, I am.” She looked around at the men and women surrounding her in various dress of uniforms and plain clothes. She'd never been this close to so many police officers before and it intimidated her.

"Please state your name for the record."

"Lindsay Peterson. My husband's name is Dan. Daniel."

"Ma'am, is your husband taking any medications?"

"No, nothing. What's he done? What's going on?” Mrs. Peterson searched the impassive, stoic faces surrounding her, wondering why she was being asked so many questions.

"Ma'am, we have reason to believe that your husband took several children hostage inside your home."

Shocked, Mrs. Peterson turned to the officer who asked the question. “Danny? He wouldn't do that. He loves kids. He wouldn't hurt a kid, no how."

"Could your husband have any grudge against a parent in the apartment complex? Has he ever complained about the children playing on the playground?"

Shaking her head, Mrs. Peterson waved a hand at the officer. “No, no, like I said, he loves kids."

"Mrs. Peterson, do you have children?"

Lindsay looked away, a hurtful expression on her face. “No. None.” A defeated attitude came over her; her shoulders slumped. She lowered her chin to her chest. “We can't have children,” she whispered.

"Mrs. Peterson, did you and your husband argue today?"

"No, not really. More like we just talked about it."

"Talked about what?"

"Talked about us not being able to have kids of our own."

The officers interviewing Mrs. Peterson exchanged glances. It sounded like they might have something tangible to go on.

"We got the news today from the doctor's office. We can't afford to adopt. Danny, he don't make much and I don't neither. The only way we'd ever get a kid is if someone handed one over to us...” Mrs. Peterson's voice trailed off. “Oh my God."

"Yes, Mrs. Peterson."

"You think Danny took him some kids?” Realization dawned on Mrs. Peterson's face. Her hands shook before she clasped them together in her lap.

"Ma'am, do you have any reason to believe that your husband would harm those children?"

"Oh, no. All Danny's ever talked about was having one of our own. He'd get his hopes up every month,” Mrs. Peterson ducked her flushed face, “but every time, just like clockwork I'd get my, um, monthly visitor."

While Mrs. Peterson kept her face averted from the officers, another hurried up to them and whispered urgently into the ear of the man who seemed to be in charge.

The captain stood up and looked around the area. He said, “Okay folks, we got our first demand."

Voices trailed off while the police officers and SWAT team turned their attention to the man in charge.

"He'll release the kids as soon as someone gives him a child."

Voices chattered fast while everyone digested this new bit of shocking information.

Mrs. Peterson couldn't believe her ears. “He wants what? He's asking for what?” She repeated the question to the officers who had been interviewing her. No one paid any attention to her.

"Mrs. Peterson, did you and your husband ever talk about kidnapping a child?"

"Of course not! He must be real upset about the news from the doctor. This isn't like Danny at all.” Mrs. Peterson tugged at the sleeve of a police officer just stepping up to the group. “He wants a baby?"

"Looks that way, ma'am. We're getting verification now from the negotiator."

"Captain, Sutton thinks it might be a good idea for Mrs. Peterson to talk to her husband."

"Well, let's get her over there so we can make that happen."

In a matter of minutes, Mrs. Peterson was seated next to a casually dressed man who introduced himself as Greg Sutton. As the hostage negotiator, he was the only person talking to her husband until now.

"Mrs. Peterson, we need you to stay calm while you talk to your husband."

"I just don't understand why he would do this. He's always been so easy going and all.” She scanned the faces around her, trying to explain that her husband was a good man.

"Let him talk to you, but keep him positive. Don't dwell on any negative subjects. Most of all, we want to see if you can talk him into letting the children out and then putting his weapon down and coming out."

"I'll do my best, Mr. Sutton.” Mrs. Peterson released the breath she'd been holding. In a rush, she started talking, trying to convince those around her that her husband wasn't a criminal. “I'm sure this has been just a huge misunderstanding and Danny'll come out. He just thought this time for sure we'd get some good news. The doctors say we'll never have children, you know. That hit Danny really hard. We even talked about adopting but, we can't afford that. I'm sure Danny don't mean no harm."

"Mrs. Peterson, our first concern right now is for those children.” Greg Sutton patted her on the arm. “Just try to relax and talk to him in your normal voice."

With shaking hands, Mrs. Peterson took the phone Greg Sutton handed her. She pushed her hair away from her face and spoke into the phone, “Danny, honey? Are you there?"

"Lin? Lin? They went and got you involved in this? I told them to leave you out of it."

"Danny, this ain't like you."

"Oh, Lin, it just ain't fair.” He sounded dejected. Lindsay Peterson's heart went out to her husband.

"I know, honey. I know. But this ain't the way to handle it, now is it?"

"I dunno. I don't know anything right now. I just got all twisted up inside and when I saw them kids and how we wanted one so bad, I dunno, something came over me.” A shudder ran through his voice. “It was like I was walking in a dream world. Like I was here but I wasn't here."

"Danny, you gotta let them kids go. There's a lot of worried parents out here,” she said. “I can hear them babies in there crying for their mommas. You gotta let them come out."

"I can't, Lin. Not yet. They can get us a baby. I know they can. They get them abandoned babies all the time. Remember last week we heard on the news about one being dropped off at the fire station? They gotta be able to give us one of them babies. It just ain't fair, some folks having babies they don't want and then there's us ... it just ain't fair."

Lindsay heard a noise as if her husband had set the phone down on the table, then silence. “Danny? Danny? Come on, Danny. Talk to me, please.” She looked up into the face of Greg Sutton. “I don't think he's there anymore, Mr. Sutton.” Her lips turned down, her eyes sad. “He set the phone down."

"Look, Captain, you're running out of options. We've been standing out here for hours. It's gonna be dark soon. You gotta give my idea a try. I know I can do it."

Sutton looked from the Captain to Roy and back again. “You know, it just might work."

Roy patted him on the back. “Thanks, man. I appreciate your support."

"Okay. Let's give this a shot, Bonham, but no Superman shit, got it? I don't want you hotdoggin’ it with those kids in there."

Roy opened his mouth then closed it again. He almost told the captain about Joey and how he wouldn't risk his or any other child's life. Caution told him to keep his mouth shut. If the captain knew he was personally involved, he'd never let him go inside. Instead he said, “No sir. If I can't get a clean break, I'll come back out.” Inside, he knew he had only one chance, and this was it to rescue Joey and those kids. Joanne was counting on him.

It took Sutton less than thirty minutes to convince Danny Peterson to let someone in to check on the children. It took Roy less time than that to get ready and then find Joanne and let her know what was happening.

He found her sitting on the edge of a group of parents, her eyes sighting him instantly and flaring with hope. He was glad to give her a report of some positive action rather than the endless string of “we're doing what we can” lines he'd been telling her for the last several hours.

He downplayed the risk in hope that she wouldn't worry as much. “It's a routine request negotiators make with hostage takers."

"Will you tell Joey I love him and I'll see him soon?"

"Absolutely.” He hugged her close to him and buried his face in her hair. Breathing deeply he hoped like crazy that she would be able to tell her son that she loved him in person.

"I've got to go, sweetheart."

"Promise me you'll be careful."

"I will, I promise.” He felt a warm sensation spread over his body knowing she loved him and wanted him safe. “This will all be over with soon, I promise."

"God, I hope you're right."

He hugged her close one more time and said, “I'm right about this,” then left her so he could go over the final details with Sutton.

He approached the door of the apartment slowly giving the man inside plenty of time to see he was coming in unarmed. He wanted to give Peterson every opportunity to relax and feel like he was in charge of the situation. Once inside the apartment he knew he'd only have a few minutes to catch him off guard. Peterson would get suspicious fast if he took too long checking on the children.

"Turn around so I can see your back.” Dan Peterson yelled from just inside the apartment door.

"No problem, man.” Roy turned around slowly. “I'm not armed, just like you wanted. I'm just here to check on the kids."

"Well, you tell them that I didn't hurt any of these kids, you got it? I don't want to hurt nobody."

Roy took another step closer to the door, “I know you don't, Dan. We all want this to end peacefully without anyone getting hurt. Not you. Not the kids."

"You keep your hands out where I can see them."

Roy held his hands out and up so that Peterson could see they were empty.

As soon as Roy crossed the threshold of the door, he quickly searched the small group of children for Joey. Before Joey could call out his name, he motioned for him to be quiet. With a quiet understanding beyond his years, Joey closed his mouth and sat back on the sofa with the other children. They all looked up at Roy with frightened eyes and trembling lips.

Roy counted quickly. Five children. The same number they'd determined after interviewing the parents. It was good that they were all sitting in one spot. It made it easier to keep an eye on them. For Peterson, and for him.

While checking on each child, out of the corner of his eye, Roy could see that Peterson had a small handgun, probably not more than a .22 caliber. When he got to Joey, he said, “Hi Sport, you okay?"

Joey nodded.

"Good. Your mommy's right outside waiting for you. You'll be able to see her soon."

Joey nodded again. Roy could see he was trying hard to be brave.

Backing up slowly, Roy kept Peterson in peripheral view.

Just a few more steps.

One more step.

He'd hoped he judged the distance correctly. He was only going to get one shot at this.

He tensed his muscles and flexed his right hand. This was it.

Wham!

Roy had cocked back and delivered a nose-shattering blow to Peterson's head. Blood burst from the broken nose and Peterson dropped his gun, moaning as he grabbed his face.

Turning swiftly, Roy launched himself at Peterson and threw him to the floor. Past and present exploded into one convoluted image.

Was he fighting the hostage taker or was he fighting past demons that had taken his wife and child away? In fast motion, pictures of his wife's broken body and his son's face flashed before his eyes. Gradually, Joey's cherub face and Joanne's soulful eyes replaced those pictures until he slowly surfaced back into focus and realized he'd been punching the man beneath him into unconsciousness.

Angry, Roy tossed the man's body from him, fearing he'd continue to beat him senseless, or even kill him if given a chance. Loudly, he called out to the officers outside the apartment to come in. Picking up Peterson's gun, he took out the clip and stuffed the gun into the back of his pants.

In a matter of seconds, there seemed to be twenty officers inside the small apartment. An officer dressed in bulletproof armor led each child out of the room. In the confusion, shouts and radios blasted Roy's senses. He searched for Joey and saw him being safely walked outside. Relief washed over him. Joey was safe. He slumped against a chair close to the door.

"Hey, someone better get the paramedics in here to take a look at this guy.” Roy said.

"Yeah, we're on it, Bonham.” A voice called out from the crowd of officers milling about the room.

"Always the hero, eh Bonham?"

Roy didn't have to turn around to see who was talking to him. “Ellis. Late as usual."

"Pulled another one out of your ass I see."

Roy turned. “Look, asshole, back off.” Roy's face hardened. “Now."

Ellis dangled his Kevlar body armor loosely in one hand. “You threatening me, Bonham?"

Roy's voice deepened and he spoke slowly. “I don't have to threaten, Ellis."

The barrage of voices brought Peterson awake. He listened carefully before opening his eyes. No one was paying much attention to him. Satisfied that they still thought he was knocked out, he lay still to gather his senses. As he lay sprawled out, his eyes level with the floor, he could see under the couch. Taped to the bottom of the couch, out of sight, was his second hand gun. Inch by inch, he moved his hand until it closed over his gun. Did anyone notice him yet? The officer who tricked him and beat the shit out of him was over by the door, arguing with some other cop. If he moved fast, they wouldn't see him until it was too late.

He swung his hand about and aimed for the door.

He pulled the trigger and fired his gun.

"Mommy, mommy!” Joey cried the tears he'd been holding in trying to be so brave. “Mommy, Woy saved us. Woy tame in and beat up the bad man."

Joanne wept. She'd been watching the children being escorted from the apartment. When Joey came into sight, she pushed her way through to grab him from the officer's arms and hold him tight.

Her baby was back. Safe in her arms. She wept with relief. With shaking hands she traced every inch of his body. She felt his arms, legs, head; no bumps or scratches, no harm. At least not physically.

The sound of a shot being fired boomed loudly in the early evening. Startled, Joanne looked toward the apartment to see what happened. A hush went over the entire crowd. Tensely, Joanne waited with the others to hear what the noise was all about.

In seconds, cries were heard coming from the apartment. “Officer down.” The phrase echoed across the gathered group.

Joanne's heart stopped. He throat tightened. Officer down? Where was Roy? He should have been out here by now.

Not sure she could take any more suspense, Joanne, carrying Joey, pushed her way toward the front of the group.

Was this going to be how it ended? Was she to have her son back but lose the man she loved?

She anxiously awaited any news at all. No one else seemed to know either.

Finally, scraps of information floated back and forth. An officer had been shot. The ambulance screamed to get through the crowd. Joanne couldn't see above the heads of those standing in front of her. Who was shot? Was it serous? Where was Roy?

Joanne stood frozen in her spot. With trepidation, she waited to find out what happened. Her heart held in a vise. She clutched Joey tightly, praying that it wasn't Roy. Praying that she could see Roy one more time.

As if on cue, Joanne looked up. Through the crowd, the man she thought she'd lost was walking toward her. Her first thought was that he hadn't been in the apartment. He was fine. And then she saw it. He was holding his hand against his other arm. Blood streamed down from his shoulder.

Once again, twice in the last fifteen minutes, Joanne went from an intense knot in her stomach to her heart leaping for joy. Once again, she prayed a prayer of thanks for bringing back the one she loved.

As Roy joined her, she matched him smile for smile. Laughing through her tears, she asked him a dozen questions at once.

"Where were you?"

"What happened?"

"Who got shot?"

"I thought you were in there ... I didn't know what happened. Are you okay?” She nodded towards his bleeding arm.

Roy laughed back at her, happy to have her near, grateful to see her holding Joey. “I'm fine. I'll need to get to the hospital to have this stitched.” He pulled his hand back and grimaced. “They'll probably have to give me a tetanus shot, damn I hate shots."

Joanne touched the arm that wasn't hurt. She needed to have that physical connection. “What happened?"

"I was standing there arguing with Ellis when next thing I know the suspect is rolling over on his back pointing a gun at me. Good thing he had such bad aim, or I'd be the one riding in the ambulance right now.” He looked down at his arm. “Stupid Ellis. He took off his protective gear. He's gonna get shit for that.” Roy nodded toward another officer who slapped him on the back and told him nice job. “Anyway, the bullet grazes through my arm and hits Ellis. The paramedics said it wasn't too bad, so I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Speaking of paramedics, there's one coming up behind you."

"Yeah, they want me to ride with them to the hospital so I can get my arm stitched.” Roy looked down at her. “You and Joey are coming, right?"

"Roy, are you sure? I mean, don't they have rules against that or something?"

"I can have whoever I want in the ambulance with me. Right?” Roy turned to face the paramedic. “Hero's prerogative, right? They're coming with me."

"Anything you say, pal. Just so we get you to the hospital."

Roy turned to Joanne and smiled. “See. You're coming."

During the ride to the hospital, Joanne sat quietly holding Joey in the front seat of the ambulance. The paramedic had given in to Roy's demands, but insisted that she and Joey ride up front so he could have room in the back to take care of his patient.

Was this the kind of life she wanted? She hugged Joey close to her. Could she go through this on a regular basis? Was she expected to sit and wait night after night wondering if Roy was going to come walking through her door? Could she?

Refusing to ride on the stretcher, Roy jumped out of the back of the ambulance as she and Joey exit the front. Putting Joey down to walk next to her, she hurried after Roy as the paramedics escorted him into the emergency room.

While nurses hustled about to put Roy in a small private room, Joanne stood quietly to the side, wondering if she should follow Roy or head for the waiting room. She didn't have to wonder long. Roy called out to have her and Joey join him in the examining room.

Joanne tightened her grip on Joey's hand and started to enter the room.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I'm going to have to ask you to wait out in the other room.” A nurse stood in Joanne's way, blocking her from entering the examining room where Roy sat waiting for her.

Joanne stopped in the doorway and cast a questioning look at Roy. From his seat on the bed, while another nurse took his blood pressure, he answered for her. “I want them in here with me."

The nurse turned toward Roy. “Unless they are family, they're not allowed in here while we're treating you."

Roy looked at Joanne and she returned his look. They exchange a message without words, the answer showing in her eyes.

Roy spoke. “They are family."

Joanne smiled and nodded.

As Joanne and Joey entered the examining room, Roy reached for Joanne's hand and held it tight. “First thing we're going to do is move to a safer neighborhood!"

Award winning author, Vicki M. Taylor writes dramatic stories with strong women as her main characters. A prolific writer of both novel length and short stories, she brings her characters to life in the real world.

When she's not writing, you can find her lurking about the many writing boards dispensing and receiving little pearls of wisdom from her computer in Tampa, Florida where she lives with her husband their dog, Jack and their parrot, Bailey. To find out more about Vicki and her writing, visit her website at www.vickimtaylor.com.