Wicked
Wanderer
Chapter Four
by Sharon Green
Copyright 2003 by ABCD Webmasters, and Sharon Green
The next day and a half were more frustrating than Chayara had expected but were also educational. For the rest of the first day Rego was mostly out of the ship, meeting with others of the pirates and probably doing more attack planning. Chayara's food was brought to her cabin on a tray, a meal that was a late lunch because they'd shifted over to station time. Chayara ate most of the meal, but was too impatient to finish it completely even though the food was fairly good. She couldn't very well start to entice Rego when he wasn't on the ship… So instead of sitting around doing nothing Chayara used her cabin terminal to access the ship's library. Using the word "slut" got her nothing but a "no results" screen, but a moment's thought substituted the word "sex." There were quite a few entries under that heading, along with a cross-reference to "erotica." Chayara had never done this particular kind of research before, but that only related to the topics. Research in general was one of her strong suits… The rest of the ship's day disappeared behind a lot of scan reading, and even the arrival of her evening meal didn't distract Chayara completely. She ate the meal while sitting in front of her terminal reading, and before she knew it she found herself deep in the middle of ship's night. There were still volumes she hadn't gotten to, but weariness told her they would have to wait until she got some sleep. Scan reading let you get through a book really fast, but the practice was also tiring. Chayara woke up to find that the ship was already on its way. The hum of the engines was more than familiar, and only a few minutes after she was dressed her breakfast was brought. She ate with a smile of anticipation on her face, but it wasn't more reading she was anticipating. Rego had to be back aboard the ship even though he hadn't yet returned when she'd gone to bed. The man was hardly likely to have let himself be left on the station, so tracking him down should be easy. And tracking Rego down was easy, but it still didn't do Chayara much good. The computer located him on the bridge, and no one was allowed on the bridge but duty personnel. That annoyed Chayara, but with reading still left to be done she didn't do more than grumble. And it might even be best if she finished the reading before she went after Rego. So far she'd read a lot about the sex act itself and the way men seduced women, but almost nothing about the way women seduced men. Lunch was taken in front of the terminal, but a short while later Chayara ran out of what to read. She'd gone through the entire list of offerings the computer had been able to come up with, and hadn't gotten much in the way of encouragement. Most of the female characters in the books had had the men coming after them, and the few who had done it the other way around were usually minor characters and were usually rebuffed by the men. But sitting around thinking wasn't producing any results and Rego was still on the bridge, so Chayara went for a walk around the ship to see if anything of an idea came to her. Strolling around showed Chayara that most of the crew now seemed to know who she was. People nodded to her with strange expressions on their faces, and one or two even smiled pleasantly at her. She heard the name "Falk" murmured once or twice after she passed a couple of people, so Rego must have told his crew that she was Bornal Falk's niece. She wondered what else Rego had told his people, then dismissed the point. "Falk" had asked Rego not to say anything about Chayara's luck, so chances were excellent that he hadn't. Besides, what difference would it make if he had said something? Nothing in the way of an idea about attracting Rego came to Chayara as she walked, and then she arrived at a gathering area to find a number of men and a couple of women in it. One of the men, sitting alone, was that very attractive black man named Khar, one of the two men who had found her in the supply hold. The idea that came at sight of the man suggested that it might be a good idea to practice on someone before she tried again to entice Rego, so she walked up to Khar. "Mr. Khar, how nice to see you again," she said with a smile when the man looked up at her. "Would you like to come back to my cabin with me? The bed is really comfortable, so we can - " Chayara's words broke off when the man jumped to his feet and ran out of the area. He looked the next thing to terrified, as if she'd suggested that he be the subject of her experiment in torture instead of sex. And the other men in the area were following Khar's example and also leaving hurriedly. Every face she saw looked frightened to one extent or another, and Chayara couldn't understand what was happening. "Now, that was funny," a woman's voice said, and Chayara looked around to see the woman who was in a chair not far from the one Khar had been using. She was a large woman, tall and fairly broad, but not in the least fat. She had black hair worn long in a braid and blue eyes, and she was really pretty. "What was funny?" Chayara asked her. "Do you have any idea why he ran off like that? Or why the other men followed him?" "I know exactly why he ran off like that," the woman said, some of the amusement fading from her face and eyes. "I also know that the others followed him because you didn't keep your voice down and they were afraid you would approach one of them next. I'm Lanni, by the way." "I'm Chayara," Chayara said, still not understanding. "I'm also confused. When Khar found me, he and the man with him were talking about having sex with me if Rego didn't want me. Why would the man run when I was trying to offer him something he wanted?" "Don't you realize the entire crew now knows that you're Falk's niece?" Lanni asked, and there seemed to be more … interest in the woman's blue eyes. "That alone would chase away most of the men, but the bald and public way you propositioned Khar… Even if he happened to be privately interested, he's not about to put his neck on the chopping block right out where everyone can see and hear it." "He would be … putting his neck on the chopping block because I'm Falk's niece?" Chayara asked, now even more confused. "What difference does it make whose niece I am? I wasn't offering Khar sex with my uncle, after all… And making the offer in private didn't seem to work with Rego yesterday, so what am I doing wrong? If I don't find out I'll never get Rego back into my bed." "Why don't we get a couple of cups of coffee and take them to my cabin?" Lanni said as she stood up. "We can talk more privately there, and I think it's fairly obvious that the rest of this conversation will go over better in private. What do you say?" Chayara thought for a moment, then nodded her agreement to the suggestion. She really had nothing better to do with her time, and it was just possible that Lanni would be of some real help. Lanni didn't look like she might be a slut, but it was possible she knew about what sluts were supposed to do. They both filled large mugs with coffee, then took their drinks to one of the cabins not far from the gathering area. The cabin was somewhat smaller than Chayara's, and Lanni gestured that Chayara was to take the chair while she herself sat on the bunk. "Now, then, let's start with the fact that you're Falk's niece," Lanni said once they were both settled. "You have to understand that Falk is our supreme leader, the man who's going to make it possible for us to have normal lives. Men are always interested in bedding a girl as pretty as you, Chayara, but the fact that you're in a position to complain to your uncle if they do something wrong tends to … dampen their interest. Can you see that much?" "Yes, I suppose so," Chayara answered with a sigh. "My father is just as important in his own way, and it's just come to me that that has to be the reason so many young men on our world stopped coming after me when they found out whose daughter I was. I wasn't interested in them at the time, but now… Does Rego look at it in the same way, do you think?" "I would say that Tor's position is worse," Lanni answered after sipping at her coffee, now studying Chayara closely. "Tor seems to be Falk's favorite captain, which is why people have been known to fight for a chance to become part of this crew. We very much want to be the ones to put Falk's plans into action, just to make sure that what's done is done right. If Tor took you to his bed and Falk found out and didn't like the idea… We may be on the way to the final showdown, but until we reach Utopia, our target, it's still possible to give our job to another ship." "But that doesn't make any sense," Chayara pointed out at once. "To begin with, I've already been in … Tor's bed and didn't even let him tell my uncle. I really want Tor again, but he got mad when I told him so. Can he have lost interest this quickly?" "He got mad?" Lanni said, her eyebrows high. "That doesn't sound like disinterest, so let me think for a minute." Chayara watched the woman sip coffee while she thought, sipping her own coffee while she waited. Losing a man's interest was a theme used in some of the books she'd read, but it didn't usually happen to women who were actively offering sex. So what could be the problem…? "I have a theory that might actually be true," Lanni said after a while, bringing her attention back to Chayara. "Tor didn't know who you were when you were first found aboard this ship, that I know for a fact. You say you stopped him from telling Falk that he'd had you, which probably means he feels guilty about it. He's really close to Falk, so he must be feeling guilty. When men get to feeling guilty they sometimes make dumb promises to themselves, like swearing never to touch the girl again. That could be why he refused you." "You've got to be kidding," Chayara stated, having trouble deciding whether to be outraged or appalled. "I knew men were odd, but this…! How am I supposed to make him change his mind?" "Well, baldly inviting him into your bed won't do the trick," Lanni said, and she seemed to be amused again. "Tor is at least as stubborn as most men, and he tends to like keeping his word. But he doesn't believe in mixing with his female crew, so unless we stop for a while at one of the larger stations he mostly leads a celibate life. That's probably why he took advantage of having a female stowaway on board. But a man who's sleeping alone is a fairly easy target, as long as the woman involved knows enough to be subtle." "What do you mean by 'subtle?'" Chayara asked, almost feeling as if she were in a classroom. "Am I supposed to talk about the weather while dragging him to my cabin? Or maybe I can blindfold him and tell him we're actually playing a children's game. When I tie his wrists to the bed he might get suspicious, but - " "If that's your idea of subtle we have a lot of work ahead of us," Lanni interrupted with a laugh. "What you have to do is make the … event his idea rather than yours. Don't you know that most men prefer to be the one who does the chasing? If you chase them instead they often take the aggression as a turnoff. What you want to do is build a fire under Tor, a fire that will melt his stubbornness and make him forget about any promises he might have made himself. But please don't ask about where to find the wood." Chayara closed her mouth again, feeling a bit of warmth in her cheeks. She hadn't been about to ask about wood, she'd been about to say something about setting a fire in a space ship. Only now did it come to her that Lanni had been speaking metaphorically, but she suddenly had an important question. "I know you didn't mean a real fire, but we'll talk about the other kind in a minute," Chayara said, taking her turn at studying the other woman. "Right now I'd like to know why you're being so helpful. We don't know each other and you seem to be Tor's friend. Most people would support whatever stance a friend had taken." "Most people would try to do what was best for their friend," Lanni corrected, no hesitation at all before the words. "If they think the stance he's taken might be wrong, they try to find out if they ought to make him change his mind. And since we're into asking open questions, let me ask you one. If you're all that interested in Tor, why were you trying to get Khar into your bed just a few minutes ago?" "I have no experience at this kind of thing, so I thought it would help if I practiced," Chayara said, just telling the truth. "You have to practice to be good at everything else, so why would it be different with sex?" "I … don't think I'll try to answer that question," Lanni said, and her amusement had returned. "Let's just say that I'm fairly certain Tor would prefer it if you did your practicing with him, so let's find out how much you know about building inner fires. I'm guessing the answer would be 'not much.'" Chayara shrugged to show that that was the answer, and Lanni nodded. "Okay, then let's go over a few of the basics," Lanni said, settling down a bit more comfortably. "If you want a man to become very aware of you, you do certain things designed to catch his attention. For instance, you wear a certain kind of clothing, do your makeup carefully, fix your hair in an attractive way, try to act charming and friendly… We're going to have a problem, aren't we." The last of Lanni's words weren't a question, but Chayara nodded wryly anyway after glancing down at her gray shirt and pants. "These are the only clothes I have, I brought nothing in the way of makeup, and I've never done anything particularly fancy with my hair," Chayara confirmed. "Just to add to those drawbacks, I know that 'charming' seems to take a talent I don't have. And now that we're getting down to details, I'm not even sure if I'm much good at 'friendly.' Do you think I ought to try to borrow clothes and makeup?" "No, borrowing things won't work," Lanni said, looking a lot less depressed than Chayara was beginning to feel. "If we're going to sneak up on Tor, we don't want to give him warning by waving sexy clothes and deliberate makeup. Our watchword has to be 'subtle,' so we're going to have to go with actions rather than props. We're going to have to teach you to be charming, and it really won't hurt nearly as much as you obviously expect it to." By now Lanni was actually grinning to show her amusement, but in all honesty Chayara couldn't blame her. She'd made a face over the idea of learning "charm," and Lanni had found the face-making funny. It would have helped if Chayara could also have found something to laugh at… "Stop worrying," Lanni said, her grin having changed to a smile of comfort. "If you look at it right, what you're about to do will be fun. And with so many people watching, Tor won't be able to run. He'll have to stand his ground while you work on him." "There are going to be people watching?" Chayara said, having been picturing her efforts as being made in private. "But that will just make things harder… And where will we be that people will be watching?" "Tor usually joins the off-duty crew in the mess hall for the evening meal," Lanni answered, still looking and sounding completely comfortable. "It won't be out of place if you join everyone too, but you'll have to wait until Tor sits down before you show yourself. You want him in a position where his leaving then will look like running away. He won't want a big part of his crew to see him run away, so chances are good that he'll stay where he is." "Chances are good," Chayara echoed, definitely not very happy. "If this was a battle plan we'd probably end up getting cut to pieces." Lanni laughed at that and then went on to say things that were meant to be reassuring, but Chayara still wasn't completely convinced. She'd always considered being straightforward the best way to handle matters, but right now she felt out of her depth. All she could do was try to get Torand Rego into her bed Lanni's way, but if that didn't work then she'd just have to fall back on being straightforward… * * * When Lanni Eckson finally closed her cabin door behind her departing guest, she felt as if she'd been run hard and put up wet, as the saying went. She ran both hands through her dark hair as she walked back to her bunk, then let herself collapse bonelessly. The girl obviously intended to follow Lanni's suggestions, which was all that kept Lanni from calling Tor and telling him what was going on. As Tor's second in command, Lanni's job was to protect her captain and handle everything that didn't absolutely require his personal attention, but this business with the girl was stretching the point. "Even though Tor does need to become involved with her again," Lanni muttered with her eyes closed. "Walking around under a ton of guilt isn't good for anyone, but least of all for the captain of a ship with a mission like ours. Not to mention the fact that he's the one responsible for the girl's present attitude. If he's her real target, the crew shouldn't have to be panicked because he's put himself out of reach." Lanni's lips curved into a smile again when she remembered how all those rough, dangerous men had run away after the girl had spoken just a few words to them. Under other circumstances the girl would have had to hand out numbers, but right now every man on board was afraid of the idea of offending Falk. Which made it the girl's lucky day… All amusement left Lanni as she thought about the girl Chayara again. Right now the girl seemed to be operating on a crush of sorts, and it remained to be seen if anything worthwhile grew out of the attitude. Tor had been her first, Lanni knew, and some girls thought that the first man to have them had to involve true love. If something serious developed between them, then they'd both have a chance at happiness. But if nothing did develop… "At least now she won't strip naked and throw herself at his feet," Lanni murmured, a sigh behind the words. "I have saved Tor that much, and he might even be grateful if he finds out. The girl promised not to mention my involvement, but there's no knowing how long she'll keep the promise. Long enough to get through this mission, I hope. Since there's no guarantee we'll survive the mission, I won't waste time worrying about Tor finding things out. I just wish I didn't have to be on the bridge during evening mess. This will be one scenario that needs to be seen to be completely appreciated…" Lanni's smile returned, and this time she couldn't quite make it go away again. * * * Chayara strolled into the room called the crew's mess hall, trying to feel as confident and casual as she supposedly looked. She was firmly committed to trying Lanni's idea even though she wasn't certain how good an idea it actually was. The books Chayara had read did seem to show that men were easily taken over by women who were charming and confident, but Chayara had never practiced the art of charm before. That was what Lanni had called charm, an art form that could be learned just like any other art form, and practice would make the performer better. And actually performing will tell me if I have any natural aptitude for the art, Chayara thought. She looked around casually as she walked, pretending to be checking for a place to sit down for the meal, but just sitting anywhere wasn't part of the plan. Keeping on the move was part of the plan, and when she suddenly "found" herself in front of the table where Torand Rego sat she pretended to be surprised. "Oh, Captain Rego, I hadn't expected to find you here," Chayara said, the lie sounding as smooth as she'd wanted it to. "I'm tired of eating all alone in my cabin, so I thought I'd come to where there are other people. You don't mind, I hope?" "No, I don't mind," Rego answered after a short hesitation, his own words sounding more grudged than true. "I can understand your not wanting to be alone, especially after all the solitary traveling you did." "Thank you, Captain, I was hoping you would understand," Chayara said as she sat next to him at the small table. "I would also enjoy a bit of conversation, but you're the only one I really know in here. So how long will it be before we reach Utopia?" Chayara's question silenced Rego's protest over the way she'd sat down without being invited, distracting Rego the way she'd hoped the question would do. She still wore her gray shirt and pants, but she'd taken off her bra, had unbuttoned the shirt to a point just short of the sleazy mark, and had tucked the shirt into her pants. It was much easier to see the shape of her body now, and she'd even brushed out her hair and now wore it loose. Lanni had said that men liked long hair on a woman, especially if the hair was worn loose. The way Rego kept glancing at her seemed to confirm the advice all the way around, so Chayara began to feel a small bit better. "We should be at Utopia in a couple of days," Rego finally said, happily choosing to answer the question rather than order her away from his table. "It's a three-jump trip, the final jump taking us practically into their laps. The government has it arranged that way so no one can sneak up on them." "An arrangement we'll use against them when the rest of our fleet suddenly appears in their midst," Chayara said with a nod, smiling her thanks to the crewman who put a cup of coffee in front of her. "Knowing what our assignment is, seeing the rest of that was easy." "You have a good eye, just like Falk," Rego said with a faint smile, then the smile disappeared. "I - haven't had a chance to apologize to you for what I did, but now would be a good time. I don't know what made me take advantage of you instead of just having you drugged and put off at the first station we came to, but - " "Please, Captain Rego, all that's behind us now," Chayara interrupted, touching one of his curled fists gently as she smiled. "I'd like to think that you did what you did because you found me irresistible, so won't you let me keep my illusions? The time wasn't all that terrible, you know, and I wasn't joking about being willing to do the same again. But you don't want to hear that, so let's find something else to talk about." Chayara took her hand back and paid attention to fixing the coffee she'd been given, aware of the odd expressions moving across Rego's face. The most effective way to make someone think about what you want them to is to tell them not to think about it, a ploy Chayara had been familiar with even before she realized she was a slut. And simply announcing her sluttiness was also a mistake, a fact that was now obvious as well. Actions speak louder than words, and action was what Chayara wanted in place of words. "Yes, of course we can talk about something else," Rego said, sounding as if he were fighting his way out of a drugged sleep. "I took you to my bed because you're irresistible, an outlook that isn't far from the truth. You are a very attractive young woman, and I'm glad - So what else can we talk about?" The look in Rego's gray eyes was the next thing to desperate, and the expression now on his broad, handsome face was almost pleading. Chayara saw all that in a casual glance, which made her smile when she looked up at him. "Why don't we talk about the weather?" she suggested, mostly to provide a reason for her smile. "It was a really nice day today, but I think it might rain tomorrow." "It's been so long since I lived on a planet, what you just said sounds almost alien," Rego answered, a sad smile coming out to match hers. "I used to enjoy changes in the weather, and I'd be willing to trade everything I've made as a pirate if I could experience thunderstorms again. And the brightening afterwards. If I live through this revolution I'll probably settle down and never leave my chosen planet again." "I never stopped to think about what had to be given up if you spent most of your time on board a ship," Chayara said, her second touch to his hand more in commiseration than to entice. "The couple of weeks I spent traveling weren't all that bad, not when I knew I'd be going home after I delivered my message to Uncle Leron, but you and the rest of your crew… No wonder you're so desperate to have the plans work right." "Desperate is too mild a word," Rego said with a wry twist to his smile, then he gestured to the crewman approaching. "Here's our food, so let's get on with the meal." Chayara would have preferred to get on with seducing the man, but it wasn't smart trying to compete with food. A hungry man isn't always easy to distract, one of those books had said, so there was no sense in wasting the time and effort making the attempt. Not to mention the fact that Rego seemed to be eager for anything that would end their "conversation." Well, there was always after dinner… The food wasn't bad at all, and as Chayara ate she thought about how things would go once the food was finished. She hadn't let Rego's apology go on for very long, not when it reminded him about what he felt guilty over, but just having spoken the words he did must have made him feel somewhat better. Removing some of Rego's guilt had been one of Lanni's suggestions, and it seemed to have worked. Just as Lanni's rules for being charming seemed to be working. Charm consists of smiling pleasantly, never speaking a harsh word, and adding gentle touches every now and then to make the situation more intimate, Lanni had said. Add being physically attractive to the mix, and you have the recipe for seduction at your fingertips. Rego's reactions did suggest he was very aware of her and felt physically attracted, so half the battle had to be considered won. Now, Chayara thought, if the second half of the battle only goes as well as the first… Nothing was said by either of them while the food was being swallowed, but Chayara didn't find the silence uncomfortable and Rego didn't seem to either. He looked more pensive than disturbed, Chayara was pleased to see, and when he finally pushed away his plate he picked up his coffee cup. She hadn't been able to eat quite as much as he so she was already finished and holding her coffee cup, a smile all ready to be sent in his direction. She was just waiting for him to look directly at her again, but he didn't look at her at all until he swallowed down the last of his coffee. "That was a good meal, and the company made it even better," Rego said then, his own smile more … general than Chayara cared for. "Thank you for joining me, and I hope you have a pleasant night." And with that he got up and left the table, striding out of the room without looking back. Chayara sat frozen in place, not yet able to believe that he'd just up and walked out, but the truth was impossible to doubt for long. He hadn't just been joking, he'd actually walked away and left her flat! Chayara finished her own coffee in fuming silence, trying to decide what to do next. She'd put herself right under Rego's nose, and not only hadn't he done anything interesting he'd ended up running away. And she'd been trying so hard to - Wait a minute, Chayara thought, her cup frozen on its way to her lips. If he wasn't having trouble resisting me, why did he run? And he did run, making sure not to look back at what he was running from. He must have left because we weren't alone, but I can fix that. Finishing the last of her coffee, Chayara put down the cup and then left the table herself. She'd spent part of the previous day and a half learning her way around the ship, so she had very little trouble getting to Rego's cabin. When she got there she signaled at the door, but there was no answer. She signaled a second time, and when there was still no answer she opened the door and went inside. The cabin was empty, but it was possible to hear the sound of the shower through the open door of the bathroom. Smiling to herself, Chayara closed the cabin door behind her then went to the bed before starting to get out of her clothes. This cabin was certainly private enough to suit anyone's taste, and it was time to add to the decibel level of her actions. When Rego found her naked in his bed, he'd get the message without needing an interpreter. By the time the shower noise cut off, Chayara was lying comfortably and, hopefully, seductively, on the bed. She still wasn't quite sure what the man would consider seductive, so she simply lounged on her side facing the bathroom door. Rego ought to see her almost as soon as he came out of the bathroom, and then the real action would start. When Rego did appear, Chayara smiled to see that he was as naked as she. His body was really beautiful, hard and wide and trim and muscled, but it was also mostly relaxed. He was actually three steps into the room before he noticed her, and then he stopped dead to stare in what looked like disbelief. Chayara's smile widened when his body showed that it, at least, appreciated her efforts at seduction, but then Rego stopped being shocked. "What in hell are you doing in my bed?" he demanded, his hands curled to fists as he took another step to close the distance between them. "Answer me, girl! What are you doing here?" "I'm not doing anything at the moment, but if you'll come over here and join me we can change that," Chayara answered, making sure her voice was low and her tone coaxing. "You could pretend I'm not here, of course, but it would be so much nicer if you didn't." "So it would be nicer with me closer, would it?" he growled, anger replacing his previous disturbance. "I like that idea, so let's make things nicer." Chayara was delighted to hear that he was going to come to her where she lay, but it wasn't eagerness for her that he showed as he approached. He stalked over to the bed still showing that anger, reached down to take her by both arms, and pulled her to her feet. A moment later he was sitting down, pulling her across his lap as he sat. "What are you doing?" Chayara demanded, finding that he was holding her too tightly for her to pull free. "This isn't the way you did it last time!" "But you wanted me to forget about last time, so I have," Rego answered, pulling her right arm back to hold it in an unbreakable grip at her waist. "This is a new beginning for us, and I know you'll enjoy it just as much as I mean to." Chayara was about to ask what he was talking about when his hand came down hard on her seat. She was so surprised that the words she'd meant to speak disappeared, and then Rego's hand reached her bottom again. This second smack hurt worse than the first one had, but she didn't have much time for comparison. His hand kept hitting her bottom over and over, forcing sounds and words of protest from her, but nothing she said seemed to reach him. He just kept smacking her seat hard, and even though he wasn't using a strap the way he had in the dream she'd viewed, that didn't mean his effort didn't hurt. It wasn't long before Chayara was crying, but that didn't stop the spanking either. She'd never been spanked before, not even as a child, which meant she hadn't known how lucky she was to have missed the experience. Rego's wide, hard hand just kept smacking away at her bottom for much too long a time, and when the spanking was finally over it took a moment for her to realize it. "If I ever find you in my cabin like this again, a spanking is the least of what you can expect," the man growled from above her while she sobbed from the large burning ache her seat had been turned into. "Do you understand what I just told you?" Chayara wasn't able to speak, so she nodded her head hard in answer. She didn't want Rego to think she was defying him, otherwise he might start to spank her again. "You'd better understand," he said, the growl still in his voice as he finally released her arm and moved her off his lap. "Now get back into your clothes while I try to decide if I'm being too easy on you. By rights I ought to throw you out of here naked and make you run back to your cabin showing everyone your pretty red behind. If you aren't dressed in thirty seconds that's exactly what I'll do." Chayara was so appalled at that idea that she moved three times faster than her aching bottom wanted her to. She threw on her shirt and thrust herself into her pants, wincing over how much the thin material hurt her poor, abused bottom. She was given enough time to close two of the buttons on her shirt, but then Rego thrust her shoes at her, took her by the arm, and all but dragged her to the cabin door. A moment later she was out in the corridor, barefoot, hurting, and horribly embarrassed. Rather than stopping to put her shoes on, she ignored the iciness of the metal deck and ran back to her own cabin. Dropping her shoes and locking her cabin door took only a moment, and then she ran to her bed, threw herself face down, and began to cry. Her earlier crying had been due to the spanking, but the pain making her cry now was much more intense. She'd hated the idea of being a slut, but once she accepted her true nature she'd wanted to be the best slut possible. Now… Now all she could do was admit her failure. Not only wasn't she a superior slut, she wasn't even an ordinarily good one. None of the men she'd tried to attract wanted anything to do with her, and that included Rego himself. She'd always been taught that she had to be true to her nature, but she'd never dreamed that her real nature was that of a failure. The pain of having to accept that truth was intense, but there was nothing she could do but accept it. Forcing herself to her feet again, Chayara rid herself of her clothing before returning to the bed. That spanking had hurt and by rights Rego should have soothed her afterward with the use of his body, but he hadn't made the least effort to do so. She'd mistaken his physical reaction to her nakedness for true desire, but how could anyone feel desire for a complete failure? "I wish I could go home right now," she whispered as the tears started again, but of course she couldn't. She had to help her uncle Leron and his people, and then they in turn would help her father. But once she did get home she would buy a small house and hide in it for the rest of her life. It would have been easier if she could still think about killing herself, but she didn't have to try it twice to understand that suicide would never work. All she could do was keep on living, no matter how painful life became. Painful and lonely, especially lonely…
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