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Page 223
body when he realized what he had done. At the time he had not thought about it that way, had not considered how it would appear if it should ever come to Sybelle's ears. All he had been aware of was his dire need for a woman, any woman.
Why, oh, why had he not sought out a maidservant or a whore? Sybelle would have understood that. She might not have liked it, but she would have understood. He was a man, and he had to relieve his body. But it was useless to waste time in vain regrets. What he must decide, and at once, was what to do now. Not, thank God, this moment, Walter thought, nearly ready to weep between weariness and worry. He would not need to do anything until the morning. As if deliberately to add to his torment, his shoulder, which had troubled him not at all for two days, began to ache.
Bed, Walter thought. But his bed, while it certainly increased his physical comfort, simultaneously increased his mental anguish. He found, when he had managed to get to his feet, stagger over to it, and crawl in under the blankets, that he did not need to endure the usual few minutes of shivering misery until his body warmed the sheets. The cot was already warmed, and there were hot stones wrapped in cloth against which to rest his cold feet. That was what Sybelle had been doing when he first saw her.
Walter ground his teeth. To lose the tender care, the loving consideration that made Sybelle leave her own bed to warm his . . . And then it came to him that Sybelle's attentions had been offered after she had heard what Marie had to say. That meant either that Marie had been sufficiently vague so that Sybelle was disturbed without certainty or that Sybelle did not wish to believe Marie's hints but that they were broad and convincing enough to breed doubt in her mind. But which? What he said and did must be adjusted specially to each case.
Then Walter realized whichever case was true, Sybelle was on his side. Perhaps she doubted, but she wanted to believe in him. Shadows flickered on the ceiling from the unsnuffed candles. Walter became aware of them and thought he should really get up and put them out. But he was warm now, and the sharp aches in knee and shoulder had faded to a dull discomfort that was also ebbing. He lay quietly, hugging to himself the knowledge that Sybelle wanted to believe in him, and, warmed and comforted, he slipped asleep.

 
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