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Page 63
"I will swiftly disabuse his mind of that notion," Sybelle replied tartly.
"No doubt you could," Joanna replied, "but that would leave a very sour taste in his mouth. Better for him to think his courtship has won him a difficult prize. Then, if he still offends, you may withdraw with seemingly renewed doubts. Thus, he will consider any difficulties of his own making."
Sybelle's bronze-gold brows drew together in a thoughtful frown. She was a very direct and honest person, and such deviousness troubled her.
"There are times," Joanna warned, understanding her daughter's expression, "when too much honesty is cruel. Men have their pride, and it must not be broken, for honor washes away with the crumbs of pride. A woman must walk warily between what is best and what will destroy her husband's pride."
"Yes," Sybelle responded, "yes, I see that. But between a husband and a wife there should be no pride and no deceit."
Joanna smiled. "That is trueand not truemy love. It is not deceitful to bring about the same result in a way that makes a man feel happy and pleased with himself rather than leaving him with the ugly fear that he is a slave to his lust."
"But seeing reason is not the same as bowing to lust," Sybelle protested.
"Do not talk like a fool," Joanna said, shaking her head. "When a woman disagrees with a man, it is always his conviction that she is the unreasonable one. And if he yields, then he does not trust his judgment and believes himself to have been deceived by his desire for her. However, if instead of saying, 'Do not be an idiot,' a woman says, 'Dear love, do you believe this to be true? How can it be? Explain it to me again, for I am only a woman and do not understand.' Then often, reason prevails."
Sybelle laughed. "I have seen Aunt Gilliane doing that, and for matters of the realm, or even of our own lands, I can see that it is right." Then her eyes darkened, and the frown returned. "But what if he does not speak to me at all? And . . . and there are things that are not a matter of reason. . . ."
"Yes. That brings us back to why I do not wish that Walter be too sure of you at first. In the wooing, you can easily show him what it is that wakens your interest and also make it habitual for him to tell you those things you desire to hear.

 
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