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Page 168
She had been speaking lightly, although she meant what she said, but her expression changed as the mounted members of their party came onto the field. "A woman," Alinor added, her voice no longer steady, "must know when to open her hand and let her man go."
Sybelle, Joanna, and Rhiannon all knew Alinor was speaking of Ian and of her struggle with herself to allow him to lead a normal life in spite of the danger to his health. Thinking of this, Joanna shuddered, and for a moment, her teeth clenched. That time had not come to her yet; she prayed it never would. It was hard enough to let Geoffrey go off to war. She did not know if she would have the strength to stand by passively and let Geoffrey kill himself because it would make him unhappy to be nursed and cosseted.
Rhiannon's heart was wrung for both Alinor and Ian. She loved them both and feared for bothbut she could not even think of those words with respect to herself and Simon. Where he went she would follow fleet-footed, even into the land of Annwn, for if he were dead, she would not be alive, no matter if her heart still beat.
Sybelle was least affected by these grim thoughts. Young as she was, she had seen death often and had been truly saddened by the losses of old servants, children, women in childbirth, and men-at-arms in war. Still, she did not really believe anyone she loved could die. And yet her grandmother's words seemed strangely significant. They rang in her head: ". . . open her hand and let her man go."
Now servants were hurrying across the ground with cushions and furs for the ladies of the party. Sybelle turned toward the lodges, dismissed all foreboding from her mind, and prepared to enjoy herself heartily. Other ladies and gentlemen, whose sons or fosterlings were to joust, were coming out also. Gay greetings and laughing comments were exchanged. Most of the gentlemen soon gravitated to the lists to offer wise counsel or stern admonition to their charges.
A few of the younger women were nervous, fearing harm for the younglings. Wiser ladies, like Alinor, who had seen many boys tried, offered what comfort they could. The lance points would be blunted, and the lances themselves would be made of brittle wood or even deliberately weakened. There might be some broken bones, but nothing worse, and hopefully none of the young contestants would be more than bruised.

 
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