< previous page page_198 next page >

Page 198
what it wasa declaration of respect, an assurance that Walter did not regard her as a whore, to be used and cast aside.
Perhaps Walter should have been warned that Marie's interpretations of that soft "I wish . . ." was different by the way her hand relaxed in his, and she came closer without being drawn. But the reaction was not very different from others he had experienced, and his sexual need was such that he might have ignored an even clearer warning.
"Will you not give me this gift to hold in my heart?" he continued. They were nearly breast to breast now. "Do not think I will misjudge you for offering this treasure," he murmured. ''If circumstances were otherwise . . ."
It was the same unfinished implication designed to soothe away fears of contempt, but the repetition convinced Marie of the accuracy of her belief that Walter wanted her and had taken Sybelle for the dowry that came with her. If that were the case, in Marie's opinion there was far less danger in forcing Walter into a marriage. However angry he might be at the loss of Sybelle's property, coddling and sexual compliance for a few weeks or months would pacify him. She put an arm around his neck and raised her face to be kissed.
"I should not," she sighed, and then allowed the meeting of their lips.
Walter found it pleasant. His body responded in a normal fashion, but he was aware of an underlying sensation of impatience with the need for giving reassurance and the somewhat dampening knowledge that this was not the end of it. Once they had coupled it would be worse. He would need to find a hundred ways to saywithout actually saying the wordsthat as far as he was concerned Marie was still a woman of virtue. He was also aware that the violent uprush of desire he had felt for Sybelle was lacking.
This did not really displease Walter. It was one thing to be transported with passion for one's wife; that was a delicious pleasure. It was quite another thing to lose control with a mistress; that was dangerous. There was no chance of it in this case, Walter thought, as he fumbled one-handed to remove Marie's headdress. He had no inclination to linger over undressing or foreplay. The kisses he gave, the murmurs and sweet words were a duty, the payment he owed to a woman who could not be paid in coin. What Walter wanted was relief.

 
< previous page page_198 next page >