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she did not fear that. What she feared was that the differences in their outlooks, his the natural one and hers developed in response to God-only-knew what special circumstances, would cause such friction between them that their marriage would be ruined, that their initial love would be changed to indifference or even hatred. |
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''How can I ensure the future?" he asked. "How can I make you sure? I can only say I feel that nothing, no quarrel, no matter how long extended or how often renewed, could change the love and desire I have for you. Dearling, I cannot even assure you that I will live beyond the next attack on Pembroke or the next offensive he launches" |
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He stopped speaking abruptly because Sybelle's nails had dug painfully into his hand when he mentioned the possibility of his being killed. Walter bit his lip. That was a stupid thing to have said, he realized, and began to talk soothingly of how unlikely it was, really, that any harm should come to him, to explain that ordinarily he was only one among many, no great leader to ride in the forefront. The battle at Monmouth, he pointed out, was an exception. |
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Even as he said the words he realized that they would cease to be true when he married Sybelle. Between his own greatly expanded property, her dower lands, and whatever added force or responsibility Lord Geoffrey or Lord Ian wished to give him, he would be a great leader, very much to the forefront. However, Walter felt no need to amend what he had said. From Sybelle's expression it was plain that she was not listening in any real sense of the word. This, he knew, was not because she was uninterested in his well-being but because she had heard such soothing phrases many times before. |
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"I have thought of something, Sir Walter," she said calmly when he ran out of words, just as if the subject of war had not been raised. "Perhaps it would not be fair to you, but still I will ask because I can think of nothing else." |
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"If it will lead to our union, I will agree no matter how harsh the test," Walter replied recklessly, the clear evidence of Sybelle's concern for him a spur to his desire. |
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"I would like to pretend we are betrothed, that you already have a right to be involved in all of my business, and I have a right to be involved in all of yours." |
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Walter burst out laughing. "That will be no harsh test." |
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