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Page 318
silent misery so she could tell herself he was falsely demanding attention. There was not even self-pity in his face nor the determination that often showed when she had denied him in the past. He hardly looked sad; he seemed more thoughtful or puzzled. There would be no escape through Simon's unworthiness.
Although Rhiannon longed for her home and the freedom that she believed could bring her peace, she knew she could not leave England until she had at least one more meeting with the king. Somehow she needed to express clearly the idea for which she hoped she had laid the foundation: that she loved the king's appreciation of her music and would sing for him regardless of any enmity that might exist between her father and himso long as she was free to come and go. Then, clearly, she could not even break the betrothal with Simon.
She was stiff and cold when she finally rose and came toward Simon, who also stood. "We must come to some terms, Simon."
In the hour and more that Rhiannon had wrestled with her fear and her conscience, Simon had done a good deal of thinking also. It had occurred to him, after he had struggled up out of a morass of hurt and self-pity, that this whole thing was a small pond stirred by a boy's stick rather than a great storm at sea. Rhiannon had been subjected to so many new and unusual experiences, all piled atop one another and all in a very' short time. She was not used to so many strange people admiring and threatening, to the strain of an unaccustomed task for which she was unprepared and found distasteful, to the demands of a large family, all loving but nonetheless all pulling at her in different directions. Most of all, she was probably totally disoriented by the constant busyness and noise, which permitted no time for quiet.
As he had enumerated the pressures on Rhiannon

 
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