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understood it. She would never know whether Kicva's choice had been made freelythe Christian faith said there was free will for manbut she realized finally that she herself had no choice. Whether or not she hid herself from Simon, she cared what happened to himand not only to him, but to all of them. She was already caught in the spiderweb of love relationships, and there was no way to break free. She could die struggling, hating herself for trying to avoid all bonds of love, or she could accept her silken prison together with its comforts and its joys and the occasional pains of its manacles. |
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The lambs stirred gently, baaed sleepily; their fleeces smelled oily-sweet. The last time Rhiannon had pillowed her head on unwashed fleeces with so strong an odor was in the shepherd's hut where she and Simon had taken refuge to make love on a rainy day. Desire washed over Rhiannon, and a storm of violent tears swept her into exhausted sleep when she had cried herself out. |
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Math was snuggled to her side when she woke. She met his large passionless eyes, so like her own in appearance but much closer to her mother's in expression. Math did not need her, she knew. He hunted for himself and found warmth enough. Yet he went with her to places he did not like in a conveyance he loathed because he loved her. With that, he was also freesometimes. Her lips twitched. |
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"So you have forgiven me, Math, have you? Well, I am glad. I have forgiven myself also. Now, since you are so wise, how will I explain this to Simon and manage to keep a rag of my pride? I cannot, after all, simply appear curled up in his bed. He will ask why, and I cannot just stare coldly at him as you do at me." |
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