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Page 316
but I will have no other woman, Rhiannon.''
"Listen to me. Be reasonable," she begged. "Can you not see you are being cruel? I do not blame you in any way. I know you have been true. It is my mind, my heart that have failed. If I reach out to grasp you and hold you for my own, my fears and jealousywhether real or unrealwill kill me."
Simon stared at her and then put his arm around her and drew her to him. "What do you want me to do, Rhiannon? I love you. I cannot force you to take me, but I will not give you up for a whim of jealousy. I could not, even if I wished it. I do not desire any other woman.
"Now. But if you put me out of your thoughts, in the years ahead"
He laughed. "I may be dead in a few weeks in the next battle. It is ridiculous for me to think long years in the future."
Rhiannon was as still in his arm as a wild hare that mimics death, but inside she had been seized by a cold shuddering. Simon dead? How could he speak of his own death with such indifferent serenity? Simon's sidelong glance caught her loss of color, another confirmation, if any were needed, that she did love him. In a way it was very discouraging. Simon knew how to make a woman love him, but it seemed that the more Rhiannon loved him, the harder she struggled to be free. He really did not know what to do next.
She pulled free of him suddenly and ran away. Seeing that she was not keeping in sight as she had in her previous restless idling, Simon untied the horses and followed. He was really worried. This fleeing was symbolic of the inner emotion Rhiannon felt. When he thought back, he realized she had always done it. At Dinas Emrys, when she first realized she was beginning to love him, she had run away. And then she had tried to run into another man's arms, just to avoid his at Aber.

 
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