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"I will not try to turn you from it," she assured him. I am not that foolish. But I must be near, Simon. I cannot stay at Angharad's Hall or Dinas Emrys. I must be near. I will stay where you tell me and will not add to your dangerso long as it be close enough that you can come to meor I to youwhen the battle is over, soon after the battle is over." |
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Simon burst out laughing. "Soon enough that I still desire to couple? Am I so worthless at other times?" |
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"Simon, it is no jest. When I am near, I am not afraid." |
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"I understand, eneit, believe me, I understand," he assured her, still smiling. "I will take you with me whenever I can, right into the camp. Was it that? Was that why you turned away from me? Or was it something I did? I must know, lest I drive you away again." |
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"No, that will never happen. I told you so many times that it was not you, but I who was at fault. You see, I never loved anyone except my mother and father and II only loved them as a child loves." |
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"It is so hard to make plain," she sighed. "A child thinks its elders are invulnerable. A child does not believe in death. When Gwydyon, my grandfather, died and I saw my mother's heart torn, I must have learned a dreadful fear, so dreadful that I closed off my own heart." |
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"I see. But then you agreed. What changed your mind after that?" |
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"I never really agreed. I was pretending to myself that if we did not marry, I would feel less. It is stupid to lie to oneself, but fear makes one stupid. As for what frightened me away altogetherI met your family." |
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"But they loved you, Rhiannon." |
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"I know it. I felt it. That was what frightened me so much. You see, they were all real people, not like my mother and father, whom I still saw with my child's eye and therefore never thought of as growing old or |
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