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Page 299
desire that kept Lord Ian awake and twisting in his bed when he was parted from Lady Alinor and with the despairing agony that, even twenty years after his loss, showed in his father's eyes whenso rarelyhe spoke of Geoffrey's mother.
This was no passion of the body. That Ian enjoyed coupling with his wife Geoffrey knew, but Ian did not suffer that restless hunger when Lady Alinor was with him, even when he could not lie with her. When she was heavy with child, for example, Ian would joke of his frustration, blaming his wife's jealous nature for prohibiting him from easing himself on a whore. It was only a jest. Lady Alinor was not jealous in that silly way. Ian did not desire any other woman, and, so long as he could look at his wife, talk to her, touch her, he was quite content to endure the lack of a purely physical pleasure because he got no satisfaction from taking it elsewhere.
Geoffrey bit his lip and cursed softly. He knew that bitter truth from his own recent experiences. Since he had been betrothed to Joanna, it seemed to him he was always hungry and that the hunger grew worse the more it was fed. Hardly a night passed that his bed was empty, and he was as eager for another each new night as if he had been celibate for a year. Yet he had no contentment. He could scarce look at the women when he flung them their coins and cast them out. He had wondered vaguely from time to time what ailed him, blaming the whores' lack of beauty or lack of cleanliness for the images of Joanna that rose constantly to his mind. Now he knew.
It was not so dreadful a thing to love one's wife, Geoffrey thought. Certainly Ian was happy. Yes, he was, even when on occasion he quarreled bitterly with Lady Alinor and raved that he would kill her or mutilate himself in some dreadful way so that she would cease from tormenting him. That too was half in jest. Whatever his momentary rage or pain, Ian was sure of his wife's deep love. She glowed only in his presence, and her heart looked out of her eyes when she gazed upon him. Geoffrey shifted uneasily in his saddle.

 
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