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Page 438
have never returned them, never called him anything but "Ian," even though I do love him. Suddenly a bright light in her brain clarified that line of thought.
In the past Joanna had been afraid to permit the smallest tinge of similarity to her mother's love for Ian to color their relationship. Ian could call her "love" lightly because she was his daughter and only his daughter in his heart. As a man loves a woman, there had never been anyone but Alinor for Ian. For herself, Joanna realized, it would have been all, too easy to love lan as a man.
And now? Joanna smiled with satisfaction. No, there was only Geoffrey. In spite of Ian's overwhelming beauty, it was Geoffrey's fair, slender body she desired, not her stepfather's swarthy strength.
A frown creased Joanna's forehead. Had Geoffrey been aware of her failure to use to him the terms a loving wife gives a husband? He had never said anythingbut, of course, he would not. Unless he believes the lack to be a result of fear or shyness, a man does not ask his wife to call him "beloved," not a man with Geoffrey's tender pride. How could he know the lack was merely long habit?
Could this be the cause of the little strain, the slight disappointment or dissatisfaction she had felt in Geoffrey? Many times she had worried about that faint shadow that stained the perfection of their marriage, but she had never been able to find the slightest cause for it. Joanna laid down her needle and bit her lip. It was not a thing that could be mended in a minute. If she suddenly changed her pattern and began to call Geoffrey her love, the beat of her heart, would he not wonder why? Nor did she think it wise or safe to explain what she had discovered about herself. To plant in Geoffrey's jealous heart the thought that she might once have feared her own emotions for Ian might only make him more uneasy.
Then the worry cleared from her face. It was not a matter that needed instant mending, now that she knew. Little by little, she could speak her heart aloud more often. It would not matter if Geoffrey thought he had won her to love

 
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