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Page 545
"I will do nothing if I can. If I am summoned by the king, I will go and fight for him. My oath is givenand Ian is right in thatJohn is the rightful king. What can I do beyond wishing and praying I were dead?"
"Oath or no oathI cannot fight for him," Adam cried passionately.
But Joanna hardly heard him. She was aware suddenly that, although Geoffrey did not seem to be looking at her, his attention was fixed upon her. Very briefly his eyes flashed to her and away. Joanna sat still, very still. He hated her! Why? Why? Because she had fought for his life when he could have died?
The single glance was all Geoffrey could bear. She was so beautiful, so warm, so loving, so alive. Every question he had ever had about Joanna's feelings had been answered when Adam appeared before Rochester. Because she feared for him she had been willing to thrust her adored "baby" brother into danger. There could be no doubt who came first in Joanna's heart and mind. Geoffrey wished passionately that he were not such a coward, that he could stiffen his spirit enough to plunge a knife into that exquisite white throat or through the sweet white breast into Joanna's heart.
He would never do it, no matter how driven, yet it was the best and kindest thing he ever could do for her, the ultimate act of love. And he was not capable of it. Instead, he would see her torn to pieces with fear for him and grief for her people and her family, and in the end, she might be torn to pieces literally. He had seen. . . . No, he would not think of that. Before that, he would find the courage to kill her. He would!
Adam, Ian, and Alinor talked long that night. Joanna could not tell whether Geoffrey listened or not. He sat and looked from one to another, but her flesh crawled and she knew that he saw only her. She crept from her chair and up the stairs and into bed, and she cried and cried until she was so exhausted that she overslept the next morning. Adam was gone by the time Joanna woke, and so was Geoffrey. Her blank, stricken expression did not need explanation to Alinor.

 
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