< previous page page_534 next page >

Page 534
conclude that his fear had bred a self-loathing and that he went out to seek death as the only cure for his inability to face life. Near mad, Joanna wrote to Adam, spilling out her grief and terror and pleading for help. Perhaps Adam could think of some reason or some device accepted as honorable by men to prevent Geoffrey from joining his father. She confessed all except the core of the problem. It was impossible for her to admit to another maneven to Adamthat Geoffrey was afraid.
The answer she had to her letter nearly tipped her right over the edge. "Be at ease," Adam wrote, "I will not let any ill befall Geoffrey. I will go also and guard him."
That was all. Adam had learned to read and write and cipher as his mother insisted, but he still did not love the work and kept his missives down to the bare essentials. Frequently, as in this case, he even omitted a few essentials, such as where and when he planned to meet Geoffrey. Joanna had no idea where to send a letter to stop him. It was useless to write to Salisbury. By the time Adam came to him, he would have committed himself to Geoffrey and nothing any woman said would affect any of them.
Instead of helping Geoffrey, Joanna thought, she had endangered Adam. Obviously, Adam believed that she feared Geoffrey's injuries would make him awkward. He would not realize that Geoffrey was seeking death. He would follow where Geoffrey led without thinking of danger and they would both be killed. At that point, a flicker of sanity returned. However Geoffrey felt, he would never lead Adam into disaster. Joanna's heart stopped pounding in her throat. Perhaps she had not done so ill after all. Caring for Adam's safety might teach Geoffrey to live with himself; in fact, Adam might even accomplish Geoffrey's cure. It was very hard to resist that gay and loving nature.
Those were comforting thoughts to which to cling, and a sudden spate of activity also helped dull Joanna's terror. Geoffrey had hardly left when Alinor wrote asking Joanna to return to Roselynde if it was possible for her. Ian was going north again. Joanna wrote to her husband at once and received an immediate reply with his permission and the in-

 
< previous page page_534 next page >