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stopped whooping with laughter, "that your love of a jest would ruin us all." |
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The reprimand was not given nor meant seriously, and Joanna began to giggle also. "It was not so funny later," she said, sobering, and went on to describe Braybrook's absence from court during her absence, the rumors that followed, and his attempt to rape her in London. |
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To her surprise, Alinor merely looked thoughtful. "The attempt on you is of no account since he did not succeed except that it is of interest that he was so desperate about it. The rumors are more important. Had Braybrook told Isabella that he had despoiled you? But I am wandering from the most important matter of all. Obviously Braybrook holds no place in your affections. Joanna, answer me plain. Does Geoffrey?" |
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A mulish expression flitted across Joanna's face, but then she sighed. "Yes." |
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"Thank God for that!" Alinor exclaimed. To clear all doubt once and for all, she asked, "Will you swear to me that you love Geoffrey and no other man?" |
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Joanna met her mother's eyes. "Yes, I swear it. I wish it were not so. I wish I loved no man. To love is to die a thousand times a day." |
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Alinor took her daughter into her arms in a rare embrace. "It is so," she agreed with sympathy, "but it is also the only way to taste life. Child, you cannot avoid that kind of death, except by being dead yourself. If it is not your husband you fear for, it will be your brother or your father or your sonsor your daughters when they marry and bear children. Since a woman must die of fear as long as she lives, she might as well have the joy of tasting love." |
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"It is not the same," Joanna said bleakly. "I fear for Ian and for Adam in a different way. For Geoffrey there is a tearing of my very vitals. I cannot bear it." |
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Perfectly content, for she had at last heard what she wanted to hear, Alinor soothed Joanna as best she could. Her mind, however, had leapt well ahead and was actually |
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