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Page 538
cause for that? Was it not plain enough that I was ripe for rape?"
"I saw that clear enough, butbut that is not love, Ian."
"How right you arewhich was why I spent all those weeks sleeping on the cold ground, eaten alive by lice, and bored to death. But I still do not see why, if you were angry about the necklet, you did not speak of it. I took it in haste, Alinor, because there was no time to buy anything, and I knew we did not have gold or silver sufficient in the house to content Lady Mary. If you had reminded me, I would have given you its worth, or bought you another, or redeemed that one."
"You know I do not care for that. It was not even something Simon had given me. I do not want it back. If it bought knowledge that saved you one bruise, I have its value a thousand thousand times over, beloved."
"Then why?" Ian burst out, unwilling to ask, but driven. "Why did I become a stranger to you? Why did you freeze when I touched you, as if I were a ravisher? Why did you weep thereafter, as if I had soiled you?"
Instead of showing signs of anger, hauteur, or renewed coldness, Alinor blushed fiery red and hung her head. Ian watched her, enchanted by an aspect of his wife he had never seen before.
"I was jealous," she whispered.
"Jealous?" Ian asked gently. "How? Of whom? I had not been out from under your eye for a momentat least, not a moment that you did not know where I was and what I was doing. And, in truth, Alinor, you leave me no strength for such sly games."
"I was not jealous of your body. I knew you were content with what I gave you, and for when I was not byI do not care. A man must eat and drink and piss and shit and couplethat is nature. I was not even jealous of your heart. I suppose I knew you loved me as men love earthly women. You will laugh at me."
"I swear I will not."

 
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