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Page 72
of knowing he was truly a part of it as he had never been before; the equally intense fear that he was snatching at something that was not rightfully his.
"May I serve you with cheese, Lady Joanna?"
The gray eyes, suspiciously liquid, turned up to him. "Why are you trying to take Papa's place, Ian?"
In spite of Alinor's warning, the question hit him like a blow. "I am not," he snapped, "nor could I, nor would your mother permit it. Moreover, such remarks are not for public places like a table in hall while we are being served by Good God, Geoffrey, what are you doing to that cheese? Do I have to teach you to carve at this late time of your service?" His eyes lifted from the mangled cheese to the white, stricken face. "How now, child," he said more softly, "are you ill?"
"No, lord."
The boy was slight and on the fair side, with straight, lustrous, medium-brown hair and light-brown eyes of a peculiarly changeable hue. Just now the eyes were nearly black with misery, and the young skin had turned from white to crimson with either shame or fever. Ian could see that not only the boy's hands but his whole body was trembling. Joanna, distracted from her shock, looked at the young squire with pity. Alinor turned her head from Adam's halting effort at polite conversation, cast a single glance at Geoffrey, and touched Ian's arm. Their eyes met. Ian sighed with relief.
"Very well. Owain, Geoffrey, we have sufficient to our needs. You may go and break your own fasts now."
The relief Ian felt had a sound cause. Without words Alinor had offered to see to the boya natural duty for a wife toward her husband's squires, but a form of assistance Ian had naturally not had before. He knew little or nothing about medicine, beyond a rough treatment for wounds until the leeches could take care of them. It was the women who treated and cared for the sick, and they were often more skilled than the learned

 
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