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Page 328
another. I thought it best to hold my peace and trust in God. I told you before, Alinor, I have lost faith in my good sense where you are concerned. I did not even dare look at you at first. I looked at the ground and at the heavens, at the Queen and the future Queeneverywhere except at the ladies. I did not trust myself not to burst through and take you in my arms. I can barely sit this horse now without disgracing myself.''
"Then why did you not wish me to stay with Berengaria?" Alinor asked in a much softened tone. So open an avowal went a long way toward soothing her jealousy, although a small hot core of uneasiness remained.
"How can you ask so foolish a question?" Simon turned surprised eyes upon her. "This climate has sickened many of our men already. Moreover, the people here do not love us. It is none so safe to be known as English in Sicily. Do you think I am so mad that, to still my craving for you, I would wish you to come into danger?" He paused, shrugged helplessly and sighed. "I am just that mad. Had I the least sense left, I would have written to forbid you to change your position. But"
A tiny giggle escaped Alinor. "It is just as well you did not."
Simon bit his lip and then, against his will, grinned back. "I think the fact that I knew you would not heed me saved my sanity. I cannot tell you how often I have cursed you for a willful bitch with one breath and thanked God for it with the next."
The little coal of jealousy sent out a spark. "I thought you found pious resignation and sweet obedience to be great and desirable virtues."
"So they are, and if you were sweet and piously resigned, I would not be racked between lust and good sense," Simon growled, looking between his horse's ears again. "If you were in the least bit like any good lady I have ever known, I would never have desired you as, to my shame, I now do."

 
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