chapter
THIRTY-ONE

Marten was asking me to marry him. Which would mean becoming mortal. I was dazed, utterly shocked. This was the last thing I had expected.

Mortal. Me. If I were mortal Nathan would want me back. He would be the boyfriend I’d always wanted. If I married Marten. I could be the woman Nathan wanted if I married him, too, but he wasn’t asking.

My head was swimming and I felt like I was going to choke. My stomach clenched although the entrées we had just been served looked gloriously enticing. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I wanted to talk to my girlfriends. Who else would understand?

“You know, if I marry you I could become mortal,” I told him. “It’s in my contract with Satan. I could reclaim my soul.”

Marten went dead white. “I love you as you are, Lily. I do not wish you to change.”

My food was cooling in front of me, but I couldn’t force myself to take even a forkful. Meph was going to be very disappointed.

“You want me as a succubus?” I asked, incredulous. “That means I’m going to keep having sex with a lot of men. And I won’t age or be able to have children.” From what Sybil had told me, these were all things that would upset a mortal man. Well, maybe not the never aging thing.

But Marten shook his head. “I am not interested in monogamy, Lily. Perhaps I have not made this clear. I do not plan to be monogamous and I do not expect you to be either. These are some of the things that we would need to work out. Also, my own life span is much longer than mortal now and I have very little soul left. If you were to become mortal, I would lose you in sixty or seventy years perhaps? And I have at least six hundred on my current contracts.

“Unless I reclaim my soul, I have a long time left as a magician, and after that I will become a demon. A very highly placed demon, I might add, worthy of one of Satan’s Chosen. Already I am the right hand of Mephistopheles, and I intend to stay there. I propose a marriage of powers of Hell, not a union between simple mortals. Not a little house and children and vacations to the beach. I am talking about something much more.”

“And much less,” I said, disappointed to the bottom of the soul I had bargained away.

“No, not less,” Marten said. He reached across the table and touched my hand. I wanted to pull away, angry that he wanted me only as a demon accomplice. But he held my fingers and stroked my wrist. “I love you. I love who you are, Lilith the succubus, the magazine editor, the New Yorker. I would not ask you to be any less or different than you are. And I would not wish to be any different than I am. But I do want you always, in my life.”

It was too much, too soon, and yet I couldn’t say no. The thought of that was devastating, far more than I would have imagined.

But what to do? What to say? Sybil would say to marry him and sort it out later. Come to think of it, Desi might say the same. Eros would point out that he was not only amazing in bed, but wasn’t about to limit my other lovers. They would all tell me to say yes.

I hadn’t touched a bite of my dinner. The waiter came, cleared the plates and brought something delicate and chocolaty for dessert. I was entirely unable to eat.

“I want to say yes,” I started carefully. “I’ve been falling in love with you, but this is a little overwhelming. I mean, marriage? We’ve only known each other for six weeks and I didn’t even know that you weren’t interested in a more traditional marriage. I think we need to get to know each other a little better before we make this commitment.”

“Then say yes,” he said. “It can be provisional. You are right, we have not known each other long, and there are other issues as well. Like the fact that you are not about to leave New York and I must stay in Aruba, at least for the current time. And honestly, I like Aruba and my life there and I have no desire to leave Paradise. We will have to make some decisions. I have no interest in traditional marriage in any case; as I said, I have no interest in monogamy. Or children. But, Lily, I have never met a woman before that I have wanted to be with for more than a month or so. I have never felt the way I feel about you. And I want to know that you will be there to try to work things out between us.”

This was not possible, and yet it was happening. The words were out of my mouth before I could think about them. “Yes, then. Provisionally. With negotiations to follow. But I certainly commit to the negotiation process. Yes!”

I felt giddy and scared and suddenly there was champagne, which I barely tasted as I gulped it. Although I’d hardly touched a bite of the food, I was not even the tiniest bit tipsy.

Marten slipped the diamond on my finger. How had he known I wore a size four ring? It sparkled so brilliantly that I could barely tear my eyes away. Our waiter and his two assistants brought over a serving of truffles with Congratulations written in caramel sauce across the plate. I heard faint applause and suddenly realized that the other diners had become aware of what was going on.

I was—engaged. Oh my goodness, I was engaged to be married, with a big fat diamond on my left hand. I was so overwhelmed that I was numb. And I really wanted to talk to my girlfriends and know that they thought I hadn’t done something completely idiotic.


I didn’t get to see the girls until brunch. I wanted to call Sybil and tell her about Beliel, but I was terrified to. What would happen with Eros? How could we tell her? And Beliel was smart and careful—I was certain he hadn’t left any traces of his involvement with the Burning Men or the kidnapping. If he had been behind it. I really didn’t have any proof. The fact that Beliel had arrested Marduk did not make him immediately responsible for the other events, which Eros would point out to me immediately.

I didn’t have any hard evidence but the coincidences were overwhelming. I felt like a Ping-Pong ball, going back and forth between my terror and confusion about Beliel and Meph and my terror and elation about my engagement. My provisional engagement, that is.

Danielle noticed the ring as soon as I stepped off the elevator on Friday. She dragged me into her office, wanting all the details, and wouldn’t even let me drink my coffee while it was still hot.

“But this is perfection, Lily,” she announced when I finally paused for a sip. “He does not require you to be exclusive, so you might continue to hope for Nathan as well. Although Nathan does not seem the type to be amenable to such a civilized agreement. You will have to see.”

I shrugged. “Nathan and I aren’t dating. That was his choice.”

I felt oddly distant from Nathan, as if he had been someone I’d known in a dream. If I thought too much I would probably become upset, but here on my hand was the proof that Marten (sophisticated, smart, hunky Marten) loved me. Yeah, we had a lot to work out, but that wasn’t the issue just yet. Right now it was enough to know that someone loved me enough to ask.

After three thousand years, I wasn’t quite sure I believed it, that I wouldn’t wake up and discover that I’d dreamed the dinner at Per Se.

Maybe I’d dreamed the meeting, too.

I didn’t get much work done. Every time I tried to pay attention to the needs of a future article, the sparkle on my hand distracted me. It was beautiful.


On Saturday morning I called Sybil. Thinking about Beliel and wondering whether he was actually responsible for the attacks had kept me up all the night before and I had to talk to one of my friends.

“Vincent is here,” Sybil said. “I was taking him to Barneys. But if it’s urgent we can meet for lunch at 212.” 212 was a nice Art Deco place in the East Sixties, very convenient to her destination.

“Can we be private?” I asked. “I mean, I know you have a date so I shouldn’t ask, but this is Hell politics and—”

“Of course,” Sybil agreed. “Shall we say one?”

At one o’clock I was waiting at one of the small tables while Sybil gave Vincent a peck on the cheek before she rushed inside. The brunch menu was not as varied as Public’s, though the bar boasted one of the best vodka collections in New York. But when I saw the salad with caramelized pear, fennel, and pistachios I didn’t care what else was available. I was so wound up I wasn’t sure I would be able to eat at all. Dinner last night had been a couple of crackers and a few indifferent spoonfuls of ice cream.

“Oh my goodness,” Sybil exclaimed before I could say anything. She picked up my hand, admired my ring, and hugged me across the table. “Why aren’t the others here? This is the best news! Or did you want to talk to me because I’ve been married before? And—you’re going to think I’m crazy, Lily, but, umm, which one is it?”

I shook my head. “Marten, Syb, and we’re still provisional. And that’s not why I wanted to talk to you. It’s about something else. About Beliel.”

Sybil sat back down in her seat and placed her napkin on her lap. “Beliel? Wouldn’t Eros be the person to talk to about him?”

I shook my head sadly as our drinks arrived, vodka and cranberry for me and something lavender-infused for Sybil. I took several sips, hoping the alcohol would steady me. “I was at a meeting with Meph and Marduk on Thursday,” I started. “And Beliel was there—and, Sybil, he had Marduk arrested. Because someone has been embezzling from the Treasury. But there’s no evidence at all that Marduk is responsible.”

Sybil shook her head. “He’s the head of the department, so in the end he is responsible,” she said softly.

“I know,” I agreed. The drink made this only marginally easier. “But arresting him is not the right tactic, not if you really want to get to the demon who is doing it. It looked to me like Beliel jumped a little too eagerly to blame Marduk. Meph thinks he might be the one who is orchestrating things, so that he can set up Marduk. So we’re pawns in his power grab, is what it looks like.”

Sybil finished her drink and called for another. Our food arrived, and she tasted her Eggs Norwegian with smoked salmon and hollandaise before she answered. “I think now you’re the one jumping the gun,” she said after she swallowed. “Beliel is Eros’s friend, and she may know more. But if you want my advice, you should trust Eros before you trust any of the men. If Eros says that Beliel is clean, you should listen to her.”

I nodded because I couldn’t trust myself to speak. Sybil’s advice was politic, but she hadn’t been there. She hadn’t seen Beliel arrest Marduk, she hadn’t seen Marduk’s terror when he admitted that he knew there was money missing. I was sure I was right, and Meph and Marten agreed with me. But Sybil was right about one thing. I couldn’t confront Eros about Beliel yet.


Sunday I stood outside Public and paced while I waited for my friends to arrive. I struggled with the decision of whether to tell them all about Beliel and confront them, or try to find more compelling evidence. I remembered that I had blown things with Nathan by speaking too soon. I’m not good at keeping silent, especially where my friends are concerned, but as I stood outside in the last chill of March I decided that this time I would wait.

Eros arrived and lifted an eyebrow at seeing me there before her. “Let’s get our name on the list,” she said as soon as she saw me. “If you are already here, the others will come before we can be seated.”

She sailed past me up to the hostess desk and lied breezily that our party was all here and ready. Whereupon the hostess armed herself with four menus and said that she could seat us immediately. Eros was so stunned that she couldn’t speak or move. I think I gasped. Public is one of the most popular brunch places on the island of Manhattan. As I struggled for something to say, Desi and Sybil came through the door. Eros waved them over and we followed the hostess to a table near the back.

“This is a miracle,” Desi said as we got settled and draped coats over the back of our chairs.

I waited until everyone was seated before I pulled off my gloves. “I have an announcement,” I said, but I’m not sure if the girls even heard me. Their eyes were riveted to my left hand.

“She’s engaged,” Sybil squealed as if she hadn’t known for a whole day already, and then she rushed around the table to throw her arms around me and kiss me on the cheek. “Oh, you’ll have to let me help with the wedding planning. When is it going to be?”

“Which one?” Eros asked, studying me. “Nathan or Marten? And what will you do about the other one?”

The waiter arrived then and we ordered, food and mimosas because we had to have something bubbly to toast my engagement.

“It’s only a provisional engagement,” I said. “I really need to talk to you about it, too. I mean, I think I want to marry him but there are complications.”

“Which one?” Desi echoed Eros’s question.

“Marten,” I said. “Nathan and I are not dating. Really truly we are not. We almost got back together in Aruba but in the end it was worse than when we arrived. And, I need your advice. Because Marten doesn’t want to be monogamous. He hasn’t said more than that about it, so I don’t really quite know what he means.”

“Are you leaving New York?” Sybil asked, her face white.

I shook my head. “That’s another thing to work out. I’m not leaving New York. And I don’t think he’s leaving Aruba, either. So there’s a lot to discuss and I’m not sure if it will work out. Which is why I’m not sure if it’s real enough, if I should think of myself as truly engaged. Or if it’s just the beginning of questions that won’t ever get answered. What do you think? Should I have done it? Should I back off?”

“Do you want to marry him?” Desi asked slowly.

I thought about it for a moment. Frankly, I thought about it longer than I had when I’d accepted him on Thursday night. “I think so. I don’t want to leave New York, though, and he knows that.”

“I would be desolated if you left New York,” Desi said.

“How do you feel about not being monogamous? Didn’t that make you upset, that he isn’t going to stop sleeping with other women?” Trust Sybil to ask the most naïve question.

“Can you be engaged and not be monogamous and not live in the same place? Does that count? Is that what I’ve been waiting for all these years?”

Sybil shook her head. “You should hold out for someone who is willing to give up everyone else for you, who is willing to do whatever it takes to be with you.”

Eros shook her head. “Monogamy hurts more relationships than it helps. Why shouldn’t Lily have as many lovers as she chooses and continue to hunt? Nathan is a hidebound idiot who isn’t willing to give up his stupid ideas of the universe. Face it, Lily, he’s not worth your time or your bother. While this one, this one is almost one of us. He won’t limit you, he’ll complement you. And isn’t that the whole idea of marriage? I think this is perfect!”

“You have never been married,” Sybil said.

Eros arched an eyebrow. “I’ve never wanted to get married,” she replied. “Domesticity is not exactly high on my list of desires. And I’d get bored with the same sex partner after a few weeks, even if I could have whomever else I wanted as well. Don’t you ever get tired of sleeping with the same person all the time?”

“Not if I love him,” Sybil replied. “I never got tired of sex with my husbands, and I was always faithful to them, too.”

“Were they always faithful to you?” Eros asked.

“I don’t know,” Sybil said airily. “I was always too wise to ask.”

The waiter arrived with plates of stuffed French toast, pancakes, omelets, bacon and sausage, and waffles loaded with strawberries and whipped cream. I was grateful that the food distracted everyone. I felt torn—completely wrapped up in the discussion of my engagement—but also aware that I was holding out vital information from my best buds. Every time I looked at Eros I wondered if she had any idea what Beliel had done to Meph, to Hell, and to us.

The waiter came back with our mimosas and I ordered a second round as soon as the first hit the table. Even if no one else wanted them, I was going to need the drinks. I needed my girlfriends, not only to support me but to counsel me and reassure me that I was really doing the best thing. And to keep me focused on the engagement so I didn’t have to consider the problem of Beliel and Marduk, and Mephistopheles.

“Okay, so what do you think I should do?” I asked.

“Do you love him?” Desi asked. “Do you want to marry him?”

“I am in love with him. I don’t know about the marriage part because that has to do with what you think about marriage. And it’s changed a lot since I was a girl. For a long time I thought I wanted to get married to get out of the succubus business, but that’s a bad reason to get married, isn’t it?”

“That would be a horrible reason to get married,” Sybil agreed with me. “Is that why you’re doing it?”

“Well, the strange thing is, he wants me to stay a succubus,” I admitted.

For the first time I can remember, well, at least in this decade, all of my girlfriends were stark silent.

“He wants you to do what?” Desi said incredulously.

“He wants me to stay a succubus. He’s a ceremonial magician,” I explained. “And he’s already sold most of his soul to Hell, so he’s got something like six hundred years on his contracts to live as a human. After that he’ll be a demon. He said he doesn’t want me to become mortal and die, he wants me immortal.”

“That’s so romantic,” Desi sighed.

I drank some of my mimosa and considered. Desi could be right, it could certainly be romantic. And there wasn’t anything wrong with him wanting me to live forever. “The thing that I don’t know is whether he wants me for me, or if he wants me to stay a demon because he wants to marry one of Satan’s Chosen. You have to admit, that does have its appeal.”

“Especially to a ceremonial magician,” Eros completed the thought. Trust Eros to see the nasty possibilities. (So why was she so blind to Beliel’s bad side?)

“But you already said yes, didn’t you?” Sybil asked.

I nodded since my mouth was full of banana stuffed French toast. Somehow eating crisp French toast soaked in maple syrup made the whole situation a little more bearable. Anything is easier to face when polishing off a plate of luxury brunch food and a third mimosa.

“So it’s done,” Sybil said. “You’ve agreed. You’re wearing the ring. So now is not the time to be second-guessing his motives.” She shot me a look that said her last statement covered the other problem besides my possible marriage.

I shook my head and swallowed hard. “We’re just provisionally engaged,” I argued. “It wasn’t an absolute yes, it was a maybe yes. But if I’d said no, that would have been the end of any possibility and I don’t want that. What would you have done?”

“I would have said yes,” Desi announced. “Marten is dreamy and I think it’s sweet that he wants you the way you are. Not like Nathan who wants you to be someone you’re not. My next move is to plan your engagement party. I’m thinking of tea at Lady Mendel’s. How does that sound?”