Published by Awe-Struck E-Books
Copyright ©2003
ISBN: 1-58749-376-4
Electronic rights reserved by Awe-Struck E-Books, all other rights reserved by author. The reproduction or other use of any part of this publication without the prior written consent of the rights holder is an infringement of the copyright law.
To Lynn, Who happily spends entire weekends brainstorming plots with me;
To Jude, Who helps me make my stories come to life for the reader;
And to Mom, Who is my constant support and inspiration, Thank you for being absolutely nothing like Diana's mother!
The room's single window admitted a bit of moonlight and a hint of tangy ocean air. It was small and square, and too high in the wall to see through.
A perfectly fine window for a servant.
Likewise, the room itself was completely adequate for a servant. A single bed, a straight chair, and a two-drawer dresser filled the floor space. The walls and sloped ceiling were stained from old leaks, but otherwise undecorated.
A man materialized between the closed door and the occupied bed.
Motionless, he stared at the woman in the bed. Her mass of hair obscured her face and the covers hid her body.
He gestured with his right hand, and she rolled onto her back.
Now her features were visible. Delicate bones, a slightly-upturned nose.
Another gesture, and the covers flew back.
She lay on the bed, naked and fully exposed. Ripe but firm breasts, pale except for their dark tips. Flat stomach and a dark triangle where her legs met.
He let out a harsh breath. "Oh, Goddess. Thank You."
He bent and swooped up a pair of panties from the floor nearby. He fingered the cloth momentarily, then let them drop.
One final gesture, and both he and the woman disappeared.
**
Still asleep, Win reached for Diana, habit after two months. His arm encountered empty bed, no longer warm from her body.
Sleep fled, his eyes opened, and he sat up. Their suite was deep in the Oregon cliff side and without windows, but hidden lighting in the walls allowed him to see.
Diana sat in her favorite chair with a quilt wrapped around her. Mr. Bill had draped himself across her lap. She didn't move, but her eyes were open.
"Diana?"
She blinked and looked toward the bed. "Oh, Win, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"I don't mind, but why are you up?"
It was a moment before she asked, "Where's Carla?"
Oh, Goddess. That was old news. Why bring it up in the middle of the night? "Sweetheart, I don't have the slightest interest in Carla. I've told you that."
"I know. But where is she?"
Should he lie? Would she feel less threatened if he pretended to not know Carla had taken an assignment at another Stronghold until fall?
That didn't matter. He wouldn't lie to Diana. She was his lifemate. "She's not at the Stronghold this summer."
She shook her head like he was being purposefully idiotic. "So, where is she?"
"Ocean Magick."
She frowned. "That's on the ocean somewhere?"
He always forgot she didn't have a lifetime's knowledge of the Balance. "Yeah. Newport, Rhode Island. It's a resort for Balance people."
She didn't say anything right away, but she looked even less happy than when he first woke up.
"Is something the matter?" he finally asked.
She sighed. "I had a dream tonight. About Carla."
"A Sight dream?" His stomach tightened. She hadn't had any Sight dreams since Shiva died.
"Yes. There was a man, and he was in her room while she slept. But it wasn't like any rooms here, and I could smell salt in the air. They disappeared."
"Like they transported somewhere?" His heart pounded.
"Yeah. And before that, she was naked and he was looking at her." She leaned toward him. "Win, I think that man took her!"
He thought for a moment, then sighed. "I'd better call Grandpa."
**
The elevator responded immediately to Win's call. "Guardian's office," he told it as they stepped on.
Dee wasn't sure if she hoped her dream proved accurate or not. Despite her dislike and distrust of Carla, she didn't want her to be in danger. But neither did she want to be responsible for getting Ogma out of bed in the middle of the night for no reason.
The door to Ogma's sleek, high-tech office was open, so they went right in. He and Aradia sat behind his massive polished wood desk, both fully-dressed. One side of Ogma's hair stuck straight out from his head, so he apparently hadn't bothered to comb it.
Aradia smiled at Dee. "Are you all right, dear? Sight dreams take a lot out of one. Perhaps you'd like a cup of my special tea."
Ogma glowered. Dee quickly answered, "No, thank you. I'm fine. I'm sorry we disturbed your sleep. I thought this could wait until morning, but -"
Ogma interrupted, "Tell us about the dream."
"All right." But the urgency she'd felt was slipping away under Ogma's discouraging gaze. It had probably been a regular dream, fulfilling her unspoken wish Carla would vanish from the face of the earth.
"Could you play it back?" Win asked, his hand slipping into hers and squeezing.
Ogma's eyebrows drew together. "You've learned the playback technique?"
His obvious surprise gave her a spurt of confidence. She glanced at an empty place on the floor, visualized the beginning of the dream in her mind, then gave the push to make it real.
The scene played out as if they were watching it on videotape. It was magick, though, and no matter where in the room a person sat, the scene was fully visible.
Once Carla and the man disappeared from the room in her dream, Dee let the playback fade away.
Aradia spoke first. "No wonder Win felt this couldn't wait."
Ogma nodded and glanced at one of the many monitors in the room. This one was turned on and showed a slight man with a long bony nose. Ogma demanded, "Is that Carla's room?"
Dee was horrified. Not only had she gotten Ogma and Aradia up in the middle of the night, but this man, too? Who was he?
The man said, "How could I tell? It was pitch- black!"
Ogma shook his head in disgust. "Have you at least had her brought down to speak to me?"
The man must be someone at Ocean Magick. Win had said that's where Carla was.
The man's eyes narrowed and he muttered, "She's not there." His jaw tightened and he glared out from the screen. "That's nothing new. She's out every night until all hours - obviously something she learned in your Stronghold."
Ogma's expression would put a thundercloud to shame. "She didn't get abducted from my Stronghold, Gianni!"
"Nor from mine! You take the bad dream of some supposed-Adept over my word as Guardian?"
This disagreeable man must be the Guardian of Ocean Magick. Obviously, a pleasant personality wasn't a prerequisite for the job.
"There's no supposed about it, Gianni," Ogma snapped back. "Diana is an Adept, and her Sight dreams are unerringly accurate. If she says Carla's been abducted, then Carla's been abducted."
Dee felt her jaw go slack. Ogma didn't approve of her. He thought she was dragging her heels unreasonably on the whole business of dedicating her life to Goddess and accepting her role in the Balance. She could easily imagine him disparaging her Sight dream as Guardian Gianni had. But he'd done just the opposite.
Ogma and Guardian Gianni continued glaring at each other. Aradia said quietly to Win and Dee, "You two go back to bed. I promise you, we'll get to the bottom of this matter."
Win immediately stood and tugged on her hand. She followed, gladly.
Just as they left the room, Ogma said, "Thank you, Diana."
First he defended her Sight, and now he thanked her? Pretty amazing for the middle of the night!
**
Win stared into his duffel bag in disbelief. How had his underwear gotten in there already? He thought...well, that was the problem, actually. He wasn't thinking. His brain was spinning around and around on itself.
"Should I wear my hair up?" Diana asked from in front of the mirror. She pulled her blonde hair back and held it up in the back, then wrinkled her nose. "A bag over my head would be better," she muttered.
"A bag over your head would not be better." He crossed to stand behind her and kissed the top of her head. "That way, no one could see your incredible green eyes. Or that smile that lights up the whole world. And your hair's so pretty, especially when you wear it down."
She chuckled and shook her head. "Of course, you're not prejudiced or anything."
"Of course not."
She let go of her hair and frowned at the mirror again. "Not that it matters, anyway, when I'm so fat."
"You're not fat!" Not really, and the extra pounds she carried didn't show in the loose-fitting Balance robes she wore.
"That's what you say." She abruptly moved away, picking up Mr. Bill's carrier in one hand and her duffel bag in the other. "Ready?"
"Sure." He grabbed his own bag and they headed out to the elevator. "Guardian's office," he told it.
During the short trip, he tried to recapture the excitement he'd felt about a new assignment. He didn't know the details, of course, but he hadn't been a Mage long. Any assignment was exciting.
Grandma greeted them both with hugs. "You didn't take long getting ready. Come in and have a seat."
Grandpa's expression was more serious than usual. He nodded a greeting and immediately said, "Diana, the Council has asked me to express its thanks. Your Sight dream alerted us to a serious problem at Ocean Magick."
"Carla's really been abducted?" Diana asked.
"Yes, but that's -"
Not caring how rude he was being, Win interrupted. "But how could that happen? The Barrier should have protected her!"
Grandpa nodded. "Yes, of course. And the fact it didn't led the Council to investigate the matter immediately."
"Is the Barrier down?" Win asked. "That can't happen without the Guardian knowing it, can it?"
"It's not down, just weak. And yes, the Guardian would normally be aware of something like that."
Grandma touched Grandpa's hand lightly. "You should explain everything to them. They deserve a chance to absorb the news before they're thrust into the middle of the situation."
Thrust into the middle of the situation? Did that mean his assignment was to Ocean Magick?
Grandpa nodded. "I suppose you're right. In a nutshell, what the Council discovered is that Guardian Gianni has lost his ability to do magick."
Win's mind went temporarily blank. Before he recovered, Diana asked, "How could that happen?"
"We don't know yet," Grandma said. "The High Priestess is at Ocean Magick now. She'll assemble a team of Healers to work with him as soon as possible."
Win said, "But that means Ocean Magick and its region are unprotected!"
"That's where you come in, Win," Grandpa said.
But Win wasn't a Healer. Nor was Diana.
"You're to be named Guardian Pro Tem of Ocean Magick."
Guardian Pro Tem? Dee looked at the shock on Win's face. Her guess about the significance of Ogma's statement must be accurate.
"That means Win'll be Guardian of Ocean Magick temporarily?" she asked.
Aradia smiled. "That's right. Either until Guardian Gianni's magick can be restored or until the Council makes other plans for Ocean Magick. It's highly unusual, both because of Win's age and because of his relative inexperience, but the Council felt he was the best choice."
"It's a small region," Ogma said, a bit gruffly. "And it's not good policy to let perfectly capable Mages sit around idle for months at a time."
Aradia rolled her eyes. "Don't let your grandfather fool you, Win. He's every bit as proud of your getting this assignment as I am."
Win licked his lips and swallowed. "I have to say... I'm stunned. Being a Guardian..." His voice trailed off and he shook his head.
Dee reached over and squeezed his hand. Following in his grandfather's footsteps as Guardian was a big part of why he'd worked so hard all these years. She mind-spoke to him, [I'm proud of you, too.]
Aradia's smiled faded a bit as she looked at Dee. "Dee, I'm not sure whether you realize this or not, but the Guardian's lifemate is normally named Priestess of the Stronghold."
She nodded. "I know. But I can't be a Priestess." She hoped.
"That's your own fault," Ogma said. "You've had ample time to overcome your qualms about dedicating your life to Goddess."
Hating Goddess for the life She'd given Dee was more than having a few qualms, but Dee didn't argue. She and Ogma would never agree.
Aradia intervened quickly. "I'm glad you understand, Dee. As I said, the High Priestess is at Ocean Magick now, and she'll temporarily serve as the Stronghold's Priestess, also."
"Will I be able to help search for Carla?" she asked.
"You'll have to ask the High Priestess, but I'd certainly think she would welcome your assistance."
Perhaps. But mightn't the High Priestess resent Dee's feelings about Goddess, just as Ogma did?
Well, so be it. Nothing the High Priestess could do would stop Dee from having Sight dreams.
For the first time, she was glad of that.
**
Win studied the image of the Reception Chamber at Ocean Magick on Grandpa's largest monitor. The room appeared to be ballroom-size, with a raised dais and ornate desk at one end. A gold wall-sculpture of the scales of the Balance was mounted behind the dais.
The High Priestess, a small Asian woman with a round face, sat behind the desk. Win hadn't met her, but Grandma spoke fondly of her and Grandpa seemed to respect her intelligence as well as her devotion to Goddess.
[Should we link?] Diana asked, her mental voice a little breathless with nerves.
[I guess.]
Suddenly, the idea that he was to be Guardian Pro Tem made his knees weak. Was he ready for the challenge?
[Of course you are,] Diana answered, and he felt her touch deep inside his mind.
He'd wanted an opportunity like this his whole life.
It was time to show the Council they'd chosen well!
**
Dee shifted her duffel bag into the same hand as Mr. Bill's carrier. She wondered how long it would take to transport across the country. Would it be long enough for Mr. Bill to get nervous? He didn't like new experiences and instantaneous travel was definitely a new experience.
But the transport took no longer than if they'd gone from one level of the Cliff Magick Stronghold to another. One moment, they were in Ogma's office looking at the monitor. The next, they were standing on the white marble floor of the most impressive room Dee had ever seen.
She couldn't help gawking. A huge crystal chandelier seemed to cover the whole ceiling. One entire wall was made up of individual glass doors leading out to a flagstone patio overlooking the ocean. Every bit of glass sparkled as though lit from an inner source.
A short woman with a beatific smile came toward them, knelt at Dee's feet, and touched her forehead to Dee's hand. "I am High Priestess Sarasvati, Adept Diana. Welcome to Ocean Magick. I am thrilled to meet you, and I thank Goddess for bringing you to the Balance at this time."
This was the High Priestess, chosen personally by Goddess! Win dropped to his knees, and Dee started to panic. What was she supposed to do?
Win suggested, [Just say something nice, like thanking her for your welcome.]
She'd forgotten they were still mind-linked. [Thanks.]
"Thank you for the warm welcome, High Priestess."
The High Priestess stood gracefully. She wore a pale pink Balance robe, dramatic jewelry, and metallic green nail polish. "You're very welcome, Adept. I hope we will have time to become well-acquainted soon."
She seemed to notice Mr. Bill's carrier for the first time and stepped back several feet. "I see you've brought your pet. I'm quite allergic to animals."
From the tone of her voice, Dee got the idea the High Priestess expected her to apologize for bringing Mr. Bill. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Mr. Bill was part of her family, and he traveled with her.
The High Priestess turned her attention to Win and said, "Please rise, Mage Gwynvid. I've been anxious to meet you, too."
When Win was on his feet, the High Priestess asked him, "Did your grandparents tell you anything about the situation here?"
"Yes, High Priestess. They said Guardian Gianni can no longer do magick, and Carla's been abducted..."
Dee felt Win wondering how to say the rest without sounding like a braggart. "And Win is to be named Guardian Pro Tem," she finished for him. To stave off more awkwardness, she added, "Of course, I can't be Priestess Pro Tem, and that's perfectly fine."
The High Priestess pressed her lips together and shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't agree with you there, Adept Diana, although my feelings are not related to this particular assignment. You are an Adept, and the Balance needs you badly. Holding yourself apart from us, and from Goddess, damages both you and us. I pray that this assignment will give us the chance to resolve your feelings, so you can take your rightful place in Goddess's service."
Just what Dee needed! A pushy woman telling her what to think and how to live her life. Barry's mom had been like that, and Dee had been too intimidated to tell her where to get off.
But too bad for the High Priestess! After Barry died, Dee had sworn never to let another person run her life. And she wasn't going to let Goddess take over, either.
[The High Priestess isn't trying to run your life!] Win protested. [She wants to help, and she'll be able to explain how and why Goddess does things better than I've been able to.]
Dee already knew all she wanted to about Goddess. Goddess manipulated people's lives however She wanted, with absolutely no consideration for anything other than Her own amusement.
Win was too shocked to answer, and that made Dee feel ashamed. Here he was in the middle of getting the promotion he'd been aiming for his whole life, and she was being bitchy.
[I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have thought that while we were linked.] She closed their link before she could make things any worse.
The High Priestess was obviously hoping for some sort of response. Dee couldn't think of anything both polite and accurate, so she stayed silent.
The silence stretched uncomfortably before the High Priestess said, "Mage, please come to the dais with me."
Win followed the High Priestess. She stepped onto the dais in front of the desk, faced him, and placed her hand on top of his head. "Mage Gwynvid, on behalf of the Council and in Goddess's name, I name you Guardian Pro Tem of Ocean Magick."
He stepped up onto the platform. He towered over the High Priestess, and his thick wavy chestnut-colored hair and movie-star looks took Dee's breath away. Those things weren't what was most important about him, though. His bravery, his will to do the right thing, and the incredible depth of his love were his best features.
How had she been lucky enough to get him as her lifemate?
She didn't deserve him, and he didn't deserve being stuck with her.
**
"Come sit in the Guardian's chair," the High Priestess invited.
He'd wanted to sit in a Guardian's chair since he was about four years old. Back then, he'd only known it was Grandpa's chair, and that Grandpa and his office were full of wonderful secrets. Basing his entire lifetime's purpose on the dream of a four-year-old might seem odd to some people, but it had gotten him to this moment.
Now that the moment was here, it wasn't right. Diana was standing out there instead of here by his side where she belonged.
"Mage?" The High Priestess sounded both concerned and impatient. "There is much to be done today."
There would be. He didn't know exactly what, but new Guardians had tasks to perform under the best of circumstances. These were far from the best circumstances.
"I want Diana to sit at my side," he said.
"She's not Priestess of the Stronghold. It's not - "
He held his hand up to stop her. He'd seen Grandpa do it a thousand times, and he'd always been obeyed. Grandpa had never done it to the High Priestess, though.
She glared at him, but didn't continue.
"Diana is my lifemate. I will have her at my side."
The High Priestess's chin jutted skyward. "I am Priestess of the Stronghold, Mage. I must sit next to you on the dais."
He knew that was true. The Reception Chamber was where formal events like audiences and judgments were held. The Guardian was a representative of the Council, and the Priestess a representative of the High Priestess. The secular and the religious, together, the essence of the Balance.
But he wasn't willing to give up having Diana there, too. "I have two sides, and the desk is large enough for all three of us."
The High Priestess considered for a moment, then nodded. "All right. Adept, you'll join us."
He didn't have to be linked with Diana to know how she'd interpret that imperious command.
**
As if it was such an honor to sit near that bitch!
Dee wanted to say just exactly that, but not at the expense of making Win's job harder. She'd refuse in a more diplomatic fashion.
Win mind-spoke right then. [Please come. Don't let her bother you.]
[I won't mind not being up there with you.]
[I would.] His words were simple enough, but the tenseness of his posture made her realize what he wasn't saying. He wanted her close by because he was nervous.
[All right.]
The High Priestess had already gone behind the desk, pulled out one of the two chairs, and sat. Win waited until Dee joined him on the dais, then walked hand-in-hand with her. As they approached his chair, an identical chair appeared next to it.
[This is really important to me, sweetheart. Thank you.] He squeezed her hand and gestured for her to sit.
She did, setting Mr. Bill's carrier and her duffel bag down first. She wished she had time to see how he was doing. The chair was high-backed with sturdy arms and was made of black leather. It rolled easily in any direction and was incredibly comfortable.
Win sat next to her and shoved his duffel bag under the desk in front of him. Dee noticed two buttons on the edge of the desk. One button was labeled "Council" and the other "Stronghold". A small keyboard and display were mounted below the buttons.
The High Priestess ordered, "Call the household staff together." Would Win know how to do that? Dee certainly wouldn't.
Win licked his lips, then pressed the Stronghold button. He paused for a moment before typing, "All staff, please come to the Reception Chamber immediately."
The High Priestess nodded, so apparently he'd done it correctly. Very matter-of-factly, she said, "You'll note the staff is quite small. Carla is missing, of course. Also, the resort hasn't yet opened for the summer season. By Memorial Day, the staff will be much larger, to deal with the influx of guests. Adept, you'll supervise the running of the Stronghold, of course."
Of course? What did Dee know about running what amounted to a hotel for Balance personnel? Barry hadn't even let her hire a cleaning lady.
The staff - a middle-aged woman, a college-age girl, and a just-turning-teenage boy - entered from a nondescript door in the corner. The woman glanced at the dais, stopped short, and demanded, "Where's Guardian Gianni?"
"I am High Priestess Sarasvati."
The boy and the girl immediately knelt, but the woman stayed upright. "I know who you are. I asked about Guardian Gianni. Priestess Darlene, too, for that matter. I had Gracie take breakfast to their suite at the regular time, and no one was there."
The High Priestess made a dismissive gesture with one hand. "The two of you may stand. As far as your question, Mrs. Gilliam, Darlene is no longer a Priestess and has left the Stronghold to visit family. Gianni has been relieved of his duties and is performing a Vigil of Penance. Mage Gwynvid, here next to me, is the Guardian Pro Tem of Ocean Magick, and I am the Priestess Pro Tem."
"Who's she?" Mrs. Gilliam asked, pointing at Dee.
"That is Adept Diana. She is Mage Gwynvid's lifemate and you will report to her."
"How come she's not Priestess?"
The High Priestess's voice was sharp. "That is none of your concern, and we have no time to waste. My reason for calling you together is simply to inform you of the changes that took place here this morning, and to make sure you understand that Gianni no longer has any authority over you. A team of Healers will be arriving later today to work with him, and they will be responsible for ordering his meals and any other services he requires. Is that clear?"
"It's clear." Mrs. Gilliam's mouth pursed as though she was sucking a lemon. "Now, is that it or are you going to keep us here all day? We're short-staffed to begin with, and now Carla's gone. You better not be expecting fancy meals and all that."
"You're free to go," the High Priestess said, seemingly unbothered by Mrs. Gilliam's rudeness.
Dee wished she could leave with Mrs. Gilliam and the others.
**
Win paused in the doorway of Guardian Gianni's office, his hand tightening on Diana's.
It was Win's office now.
Only temporarily. But still...
Like Grandpa's office, the largest part of the room was devoted to the Guardian's desk and console. Some of the equipment - the monitors, computers, and combination printer/scanner/copier/fax, in particular - was no different than might be used in any small office. Other pieces of equipment were hybrids using both magick and modern technology.
"Mage Gwynvid, is that you?" asked an elderly man whose image filled most of a monitor on the opposite wall.
That must be Guardian Emeritus Geb. The High Priestess had mentioned he'd been assigned to help Win learn his job. "Yes, it is, Guardian."
The man smiled. "Call me Geb."
"I'm Win." He stepped inside the office. "I appreciate your help, Geb."
"And the Council appreciates your devotion, Win. We have too few Mages with your talent. Is Adept Diana with you?"
Diana followed Win inside the office and said, "I'm here. The High Priestess said I should come."
Geb smiled. "Yes, you're needed here, Adept. I didn't see you at first."
"Please call me Diana," she said.
"As you wish. Now, shall we get to work?"
"Just as soon as I find a chair for Diana." He looked past the Guardian's console. The more casual part of the office consisted of a round table with two straight chairs and a broken-down couch covered with a dirty brown slipcover. No luck there.
[I'll create it this time,] Diana told him. [You need to save your power.]
The chair she created was similar to the ones in the Reception Chamber. When they both sat down, he realized how much more comfortable that chair had been. This one sagged, and the springs squeaked whenever he moved.
Diana hadn't had a chance to become familiar with any of the equipment in Grandpa's office, so he gestured at one of the displays. "This is a map of the region. The Stronghold is here, and the Barrier should show as a bright line surrounding it, protecting it from penetration by evil."
He couldn't see any line at all. He looked up at Geb. "I don't see the Barrier. Grandpa said it was weak, but..."
Geb said, "Look inside the building."
Diana pointed at a faint line just inside the outer wall of the building. "Is this what you're looking for?"
"Goddess! Only the main part of the house is protected! And it's so faint!"
Geb nodded. "The Bedrock's magick has been overly- taxed recently. That's why that young woman could be abducted from inside the Stronghold. You'll need to strengthen the Barrier, and if possible, extend it to include the grounds."
That made sense. "How do I do that?"
"First, you'll need to establish your link with the Bedrock." Geb frowned. "Your grandfather explained about that, didn't he?"
"He told me about it, but I don't really know what it's all about."
Geb nodded. "It's hard to explain. The Bedrock's alive, but linking with it isn't like linking with another human. You'll see what I mean once you and Diana have gone down to the Bedrock Vault and established your link. Give me a call when you get back." The screen blanked.
But Geb hadn't told him how to establish the link!
**
"Where's the Bedrock Vault?" Dee asked. That was far from the only question on her mind, but it seemed like the first one that needed answering.
Win glanced around the room, frowning. He said, "It should be accessible by stairs from the Guardian's office. Grandpa says that's standard."
He started toward an unmarked door in a corner near the desk. He opened it and an umbrella and a still-wet-and- musty-smelling set of foul-weather gear avalanched onto his head. "Guess not."
Dee helped him stuff them back into the over-full closet. "I could clean this out for you sometime."
Maybe she shouldn't, though. Win's assignment was only temporary. If Guardian Gianni had his magick restored, he might be named Guardian again. He'd probably expect all the same junk to be filling his closet.
Win stepped behind a file cabinet and called, "Back here."
She joined him and they started down the stairs. Halfway down, he stopped. "Is Mr. Bill okay up there by himself?"
He'd actually remembered about her cat! Not when things were quiet, either, but in the middle of what had to be the most important day of his life. "He'll be fine," she assured him. "But thanks for asking."
He shrugged. "Well, he's a neat cat. I figured today might be freaking him out."
Dee was sure that was true. Unfortunately, she had yet to find a way to make sudden changes not frighten him so much. "He'll be fine once we get settled."
"Okay then."
They continued down the flight of stairs and came out into a room with a slightly higher than normal ceiling. The room was dimly-lit and smelled abandoned. A huge rock, about ten feet tall and at least thirty feet wide, jutted up through the raw stone floor and filled the center of the room. Its surface was gray, and all its edges were worn smooth.
The Stronghold's Bedrock. Dee just stood and looked at it a moment, waiting for the effect she'd felt before when she was close to Bedrock.
The Bedrock at Cliff Magick practically hummed with power. Being in its presence was awe-inspiring. This Bedrock felt dead in comparison.
It wasn't dead, was it? Probably not. It seemed like the Council would know if it was.
Win seemed unsure what to do. After a few seconds, he said, "Let's touch the Bedrock. Remember, that's what Grandpa had us do to restore our power after fighting with Shiva."
"Okay." They walked up to it and pressed the palms of their hands against it. It wasn't cool to the touch like rock would normally be - it was warm, instead.
It was alive!
"Shouldn't we mind-link?" Dee asked. "That might be why we both needed to come down here."
Win nodded. "That makes sense." His mind reached for hers as she reached for his. Their link, as always, leaped into existence as though being linked was the only natural way to be. Win said it was. He'd told her most lifemates stayed linked all the time. She wasn't ready to deal with that much intimacy yet.
Together, they reached with their minds toward the Bedrock. Did it have a mind? A consciousness, maybe?
There was something there, something alive but not human. Win spoke for both of them. [Greetings, Bedrock.]
It didn't answer. Not exactly. But the room's atmosphere changed. The lights brightened and the air crackled with life. The air even seemed fresher.
[I am Mage Gwynvid and this is my mate, Adept Diana. The Council has assigned me to replace Guardian Gianni temporarily.]
Now the whatever-it-was consciousness seemed to ask a question. Probably why.
Win continued, [Guardian Gianni has lost his magick. He must be Healed before he can return to duty.]
A heaviness that must be Bedrock filled Dee's mind, much like the way her legs felt when Mr. Bill settled his full fifteen pounds on top of them in bed. It didn't actually hurt, but she wondered if there was room for both her and Bedrock inside her head.
A few words appeared in her mind, as though written on a cue card. [At last! Tried but could not protect!]
Win looked at her and grinned. Bedrock had communicated with them! He mind-spoke. [Bedrock, my assignment is to link with you and re-establish the Barrier. Will you link with me?]
The cue card didn't take as long to appear this time. [Will.]
The heaviness left Dee's brain and she felt it move into Win's. Now, he had double the pressure to contend with. His body sagged forward until he sprawled across Bedrock. He gulped air, about ready to pass out.
What was Bedrock doing to him? Should Dee pull him away, so he was no longer in contact with it?
But her body was frozen in place, her hands pressed tightly to Bedrock as though they'd been cemented there.
Win gulped for breath, but none came into his lungs. His head was going to explode any second. If he had the strength, he'd slam his head into Bedrock to speed up the process.
Except maybe he was getting used to the pressure. It didn't seem quite so bad now.
Oh! What was that? He felt a click in his brain, like the last piece of a puzzle had just fallen into place.
[Linked now.] A sense of satisfaction seemed to radiate from the source of the thought.
That must be Bedrock. The communication was different this time, more like a voice than something written.
The pressure was nearly gone, too, and Win could breathe again.
[All right?] Bedrock asked. [Not want to hurt.]
[I'm fine,] he managed.
[Are you sure?] That was Diana.
[Uh-huh.]
[I wanted to pull you away from Bedrock, but I couldn't move.]
Move. Now that sounded like a good idea. He was pretty much sprawled on Bedrock, and it felt like he'd slide onto the floor any second.
[Take power,] Bedrock urged.
Win felt the heat of pure power flowing into his body everywhere he touched Bedrock. Within moments, that awful pressure was a distant memory. He felt more alive than ever before.
He stepped away from Bedrock and took a deep breath. The whole Bedrock Vault looked different now, like it wasn't just the Bedrock he was linked with, but the whole room.
He sensed that much of Bedrock was buried underground. It was vast, spreading in all directions. Bedrock supplied the fact that it served as the foundation for the entire original part of the Stronghold.
He glanced at Diana. [Are you following this?]
She nodded. [I thought the part we could see was huge!]
Bedrock said, [Go now. Barrier weak.]
Right.
He was a Guardian now.
He had a job to do.
**
Dee knew that Win was truly okay when he bounded up the stairs to his office, taking two and three stairs at once.
Her ascent was more deliberate. A couple of times she put her hand on the railing. She didn't exactly feel sick, but her head was spinning just enough to make her not quite sure of her footing. She'd been feeling fine earlier, so maybe this was some sort of residual effect from the weird way Bedrock had communicated at first.
Just then, Win's whole brain filled with a set of blueprints for the Stronghold. She was still linked to him, and not all the blueprints fit in his brain at once, so the extras started filling her brain.
She got so dizzy she didn't know which way was up.
She'd heard that expression her whole life. Now she knew it really could happen.
Another blueprint, this one of the exercise room over the garage, jammed itself into her head.
Now it felt like she was turning cartwheels at a hundred miles an hour on a trampoline.
Here came another blueprint -
No more!
She closed her link with Win.
**
Win was back in his chair behind the Guardian's console before he realized Diana wasn't with him. [Diana?]
[Just a minute.] It sounded like she was panting.
[Is something wrong?] He stood and started toward the stairway.
She appeared in the open doorway and rested her hand on the frame. "I'm okay. I had to close our link because Bedrock kept -" She shook her head. "I don't know how to describe it."
From the monitor, Geb asked, "Something Bedrock did affected you, Diana?"
"Yeah. It was...it was sending you blueprints just now, wasn't it?" she asked Win.
Win nodded. "Uh-huh. A whole bunch of them, and the amazing thing was I could understand them all right away."
"Your link with Bedrock allows you to do that," Geb said. "But Diana, how did you know Bedrock was sending Win blueprints?"
[Come and sit down,] Win told her. [You look like you need it.]
She nearly collapsed into her chair before answering Geb. "We were still linked. It was kind of weird when Bedrock first started sending them. You know, all that information coming at once. But then Win's brain filled up and Bedrock started sending them to me, instead. I got really dizzy and thought I was going to throw up."
"Bedrock sent you some of the blueprints?" Win asked. "Which ones?"
"The exercise room was one."
He tried to bring that one to mind. "I don't have that." He turned to Geb. "Does it always work that way?"
Geb shook his head, his expression a mixture of amazement and perplexity. "Not at all. Normally, a Guardian's lifemate has only a slight awareness of Bedrock and the information it supplies to its Guardian. And what Diana is describing...Bedrock sending her information because your brain was still processing what it sent earlier... That should be impossible. Its link is with Win, not with both of you."
Diana looked to be feeling much better. She frowned thoughtfully and asked, "Then why did Win and I have to be linked in order for it to link with Win?"
Geb shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that. There's much we don't know about Bedrock."
"So what do I do to keep from having this happen again?" Diana demanded. "Just not link with Win?"
The idea made Win sick. If he and Diana couldn't mind-link during this assignment, maybe this wasn't such a great assignment, after all.
To his credit, Geb looked horrified, too. "Oh, no. I don't think it will come to that. Allow me to discuss the matter with the rest of the Council, and we'll see what suggestions we come up with. Perhaps one of the other Guardians has experienced something similar."
Diana nodded. "Okay."
"In the meantime," Geb continued, "Win, you might want to ask Bedrock to limit its data transmission to essentials. It has a huge amount of data about the region it will want to send to get you oriented, but nearly all of it can wait."
"You mean it's going to keep sending me information? Won't my brain run out of room?"
Geb shook his head. "Amazingly enough, no. Brains are extraordinary things. Much like incredibly advanced computers, but with what appears to be limitless capacity for storage. Fifty or seventy-five years from now, when you're far removed from this assignment, you'll still be able to recall every single blueprint Bedrock sent you today."
Win couldn't think of an appropriate response. He ended up saying, "Wow."
"Wow, indeed." Geb closed the subject with a nod and asked, "Now, do you think you're ready to deal with the Barrier?"
"Sure." Automatically, he glanced at the Barrier monitor. It showed a bright blue line surrounding the house, rather than the pale nearly-invisible one of earlier.
He looked over at Geb. "The Barrier is bright blue now. Does that mean it's been restored?"
Geb nodded, his expression serious. "Yes, as far as the original portion of the house. But anyone in the newer areas or in the grounds would still be unprotected."
"But how? I haven't done anything except link with the Bedrock."
"It's the combination of your magick and that of Bedrock. They're different, and Bedrock's protective magick is incomplete without a human link. Similarly, you'll find now that you have an almost-limitless source of power. You'll be able to do more magick for longer periods of time without tiring."
No wonder Grandpa's magick had seemed to be without limits. Win was anxious to test out his powers and see how it felt to have more strength. That would need to wait, though.
Geb continued, "Now, to the task of extending the Barrier. In addition to all the data you get from Bedrock, linking with it allows you to sense your region in ways that would otherwise not be possible. You'll learn more about this as you become accustomed to being a Guardian, but for now it's enough to know it's what makes extending the Barrier possible."
"Should I leave?" Diana asked. "I'm probably not supposed to know all these details."
She couldn't leave! [I want you to stay,] Win said.
[If Geb says it's okay. And don't be pushy about it like you were with the High Priestess. I really don't mind.]
"You're welcome to stay, Diana," Geb said with a smile. "I don't intend to keep Win working much longer, and I rather imagine you'll find this interesting. Most lifemates do."
She smiled back at him. "Okay, I'll stay. You're right. It sounds interesting."
Win relaxed and turned his attention back to the monitor where Geb's image was.
"Good. Now, Win, the first thing I want you to do is locate the Barrier with your senses. Don't rely on the monitor. In fact, turn it off for now."
Win reached out and pressed the Off button. "It's off." Then he used his mind to feel around for something that could be the Barrier.
He encountered nothing in the room around him, so he searched a little farther away. Oh! "I bumped into it - right out this window."
"What does it feel like?"
"Kind of thick, a little like stepping into molasses, I guess, and my brain tingles if I probe it."
Geb nodded. "That's the Barrier. An evil force would be repelled by what you feel as a tingle. Now, follow the Barrier all the way around. Stay just inside it, so you'll remain protected."
Win started around, but he found it hard to keep track of exactly where he was. He decided to visualize the Barrier turning bright blue as he encountered it. Soon he had a mental picture that was much like what had been displayed on the Barrier monitor. "Okay. I followed it all the way around. It's just outside the house, except it doesn't include the garages."
"That's right. I'm not sure if you know this, but the garages were added later. The Bedrock's built-in directive is to protect the Stronghold as it was when it was built."
"I see."
"Now, visualize the Barrier as something you can see."
"I've already done that," Win said. "I made it blue, like on the monitor."
Geb chuckled. "Smart move. Now, give the Barrier a slight push to expand it. But be careful not to shove right through it."
Win visualized pushing with the palms of his hands. The Barrier didn't resist, and a single push made a several-foot-long portion the Barrier move five or six feet away from the house. "That wasn't too hard," he said, and moved to another part of the Barrier.
"Tell me what you've done - and where."
"Right outside this office," he said. "I moved the Barrier several feet away."
Geb grinned. "Turn on the monitor, Win."
The Barrier was just as he'd visualized it!
**
Dee couldn't tear her eyes away from the Barrier monitor. Every few seconds, another section of the Barrier moved outward, usually five feet or more at a time.
She could see Win out of the corner of her eye. It was clear he was having a great time. He grinned non-stop, and every once in a while, he'd pump his fist in the air like Barry had when Oregon State's football team scored a goal.
She wondered what it would feel like to do something like that herself. She'd done some pretty amazing things with magick, but nothing quite this cool.
Keeping Geb's instructions in mind, she tried to use her senses to find the Barrier. No go. Either she didn't have the ability that allowed Win to sense it, or she didn't know how to use it.
It was probably a good thing he could do something she couldn't. He'd worked at this whole magick business for a lot longer and harder than she had. She picked up most skills almost immediately, and he wouldn't be human if that didn't bother him sometimes.
She heard a sound from Mr. Bill's carrier after Win had been working for quite a while. Not a meow, really, but more like a "is anybody there?"
She crouched down on the floor next to the carrier and stuck her fingers through the wire grate door. He was a fifteen-pound cat in a small carrier, but still he was too far away to reach. "Hey there, Bill. You doing okay?"
No answer, but of course she hadn't expected one. She reached the fingers of her other hand through the air holes near the back of the carrier, encountering his silky fur. Good, he wasn't shaking. "It won't be too much longer until we get you settled."
He leaned into her touch and seemed to relax a bit. She stayed there right next to the carrier, moving to a sitting position when crouching got tiresome.
Finally Geb said, "That's great, Win. You've got the Barrier covering all of the grounds and a little beyond now."
Win said, "Okay, what's next?" He didn't sound tired at all.
"What's next is for you to get settled in your suite."
"Really?" Win asked. "I thought there'd be more I had to do right away."
Dee stuck her head above the edge of the console so Geb could see her. "How about searching for Carla? Shouldn't we be doing that?"
"The High Priestess is responsible for that, Diana. You can ask her later today if there's anything you can do to help."
That was apparently that, from Geb's point of view, because he went on. "Win, there's plenty to do, I can assure you of that. But the Stronghold is safe from intruders now, and tomorrow will be time enough to continue on from here. In the meantime, you have responsibilities such as greeting arrivals and presiding over meals. The High Priestess will have Healers arriving later today, so you'd best take this chance for a break."
He chuckled. "In fact, you'll want to take breaks anytime you can. You'll likely be busy most days from breakfast on, well into the evening hours."
Dee remembered how Ogma and Aradia seemed to be available on a moment's notice anytime, day or night. In light of that fact, the job Win had just been given seemed even more enormous.
"Win, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Diana, it was lovely to meet you." The screen where Geb's image had been went dark.
Win pushed a button on his console and grinned at her. "It's going to be fun having servants."
It was hardly like they'd had to cook and clean and do laundry at Cliff Magick. Well, they'd cooked some of the time, but only when they didn't want to eat with either the students or Ogma and Aradia.
Someone knocked on the office door. Win called, "Come in," and opened the door magickally.
The boy they'd seen earlier tripped over his feet and nearly crashed into the console. "I'm sorry, Guardian - " His voice broke, and he finished at a higher pitch. "I mean, I'm sorry, Mage Gwynvid, sir! What would you like?"
"You could start by telling us your name," Dee said.
The boy had Nordic features with pale blond hair and nearly-white skin. His whole face turned bright red as he fell to his knees. "Adept Diana, ma'am, I'm sorry. I forgot to kneel."
"Please get up." She wasn't going to like it at all if people started kneeling in front of her all the time. "Tell Mrs. Gilliam and Gracie I don't want them to kneel, either. And do tell me your name, please."
He climbed to his feet, a little clumsily, as if he wasn't quite comfortable with his arms and legs. "I'm Thor Are you sure about the kneeling, Adept Diana, ma'am? The High Priestess always wants us to kneel, and you're more special than her."
She was?
Win half-smiled. "Let me guess, Thor. Are you a Mage Apprentice, by any chance?"
Thor's jaw dropped open. "Yes, Mage Gwynvid, sir. Just starting my third year. But how did you know?"
"Because you wouldn't have made it very far in Healer training without learning never to say anything negative about the High Priestess."
Dee thought Thor might start crying. "But I didn't mean -"
Win shook his head. "Don't get upset, Thor. I know what you meant. Adepts are very rare, whereas there's always a High Priestess. But that's because the Balance needs to have a High Priestess always, in order to do its work. So the High Priestess is just as special as Adept Diana, only in a different way. Does that make sense?"
Thor's face screwed up, but he nodded. "Yes, Mage Gwynvid, sir."
Dee wasn't sure Thor understood Win's point about the need to stay on the High Priestess's good side, but he was still young. He'd have plenty more chances to learn.
"Now, Thor," Win said, "Adept Diana and I would like to be shown to our quarters. Do you know where they are?"
He bobbed his head. "Yes, Mage Gwynvid, sir. Mrs. Gilliam had us get the Block Island suite ready for you. It's the nicest one, except for the Guardian's suite and the Balance suite, and that's where the High Priestess is. May I carry something for you?"
"No, thanks," Win said, gathering up both of their duffel bags as well as Mr. Bill's carrier. "Just lead the way."
Thor led them down a wide corridor floored with white marble to a grand staircase Scarlet O'Hara should come drifting down. The stairs curved around and split in two directions halfway up. They followed the left-hand staircase to the second floor. Thor opened the first door on the left.
Dee caught her breath when she stepped inside. She'd thought her suite at Cliff Magick was impressive! Everything here was in shades of ivory and white, including the lovely thick oriental rug on the floor. She tiptoed around the edge of the rug to a large window looking out at the choppy gray ocean. The walls and window treatments - curtains was not an adequate word - were far beyond her ability to describe, or even to fully appreciate. The furniture was all antique, and she was fairly sure some of it had silk upholstery.
Silk or not, Mr. Bill could reduce it to shreds in seconds.
**
"Um, Mage Gwynvid, sir, can I do anything else for you?"
Win remembered himself at Thor's age, thrilled about the world of the Balance and in awe of the Mages and Guardians who visited Grandpa. "No, thank you, Thor. And just plain 'Mage' is fine, no need for 'sir'."
"Yes, sir...I mean, yes, Mage." The poor boy blushed again as he backed out the door, not quite getting his feet tangled. He blurted out, "Adept Diana, ma'am, I just want to say it's a real honor to wait on you." He shut the door before Diana could respond.
"He's serious about that, isn't he?" Diana asked.
Win chuckled. "Of course. After today, are you starting to understand how important you are?"
"I guess." Her frown said otherwise, but he didn't challenge it. There'd be time for that later.
"I imagine you'll want to get Mr. Bill settled right away," he said.
She sighed. "Win, he's going to wreck the furniture."
"What do you mean? He didn't hurt anything at home."
"I know, but look at all this stuff! If he sharpens his claws on anything, he'll ruin it."
"Then magick'll come to the rescue. You don't think this furniture has been used for fifty or a hundred years and no one ever spilled anything on it, do you?"
She'd never thought about that aspect of life with magick, he could tell. She said, "But there were vacuum cleaners and washing machines at Cliff Magick. I thought..."
"Most cleaning is done the regular way, you're right. Cooking, too. But that's because most people, even in a Stronghold, don't have enough magick to be useful for regular chores like that. It's different when the cleaning or repair task is trickier."
She thought about that. "You're really sure it's okay? Bill's usually good about not scratching, but..."
"It's fine." He grinned when he realized this was now his Stronghold. He had the final word on this subject, as with most subjects. "You'll want to put his things in the bedroom, won't you? That way he won't be disturbed when people come to see us."
"That makes sense." She went through the open door into the bedroom, then into the bathroom. "Oh, this is nice."
He followed her. In contrast to the rest of the suite, the bathroom was thoroughly modern. The shower enclosure was glass brick up to shoulder height, then clear glass. It had two adjustable shower heads and was about twice the size of the one they'd used together daily at home. In addition, the room held a large tub, a normal- looking toilet, two sinks side-by-side, and an open-shelved storage unit full of wonderfully thick towels.
Diana returned to the bedroom and found a somewhat private seeming spot in a corner. "How about right here? It's close enough to the bathroom for cleaning the litter box and filling his water dish, but not really in the way."
"Looks fine." He set Mr. Bill's carrier down near where Diana had pointed. Next, he visualized the pile of Mr. Bill's supplies they'd placed together back at home, and transported them to the chosen corner.
Diana smiled at him. "Thanks, but I was going to do that myself."
"I know." The truth was, he'd wanted to try out the close-to-limitless amount of power he had now, thanks to his link with Bedrock. To show off, he filled Mr. Bill's water dish with water without taking it to a sink.
She knelt down and unlatched the carrier. "Okay, sweetie, you can come out now. We're in our new place, and your nice clean litter is right over there." She pointed, and a black-and-white blur streaked out of the carrier and into the box. "You just relax and chill out for a while, Bill. Okay?" She stood up.
"He relaxes in the litter box?" Win wasn't an expert on cats, but he was quite sure litter boxes had an entirely different purpose.
"He does when we first get to a new place," she answered. "The litter box feels safe to him, so that's where he goes anytime we move. After a few hours, he'll be brave enough to come out and explore a little."
She went to the window and looked out. "This is a great view - just blue sky and ocean." She spun back around. "Win, you're a Guardian! You must be so excited!"
"Pretty much." Actually, excited wasn't the right word. It wasn't big enough.
Becoming a Guardian was the big goal he'd had for his whole lifetime, and now he'd achieved it. Sure, it was just Pro Tem now, but the Council wouldn't have given him this job if they weren't sure he'd be a full Guardian someday in the not-too-distant future.
"Tell me the truth," she said. "When Bedrock sends you all that data, it doesn't make you feel sick or dizzy or anything?"
He shook his head. "No. I felt sick when it was linking with me, but now... It feels a little strange when it plops stuff like those blueprints in my head. But it pauses every once in a while to let me catch up."
Talking about Bedrock made him remember Diana's reaction to it. "I sure hope Geb can tell us what to do so you don't react like that all the time."
"It's not all the time, just when we're linked."
"I know, but I'd like us to stay linked most of the time." He'd been saying that since they first bonded. Being mind-linked let the two halves of their joint soul become one, and it was the natural state for lifemates.
She wrinkled her nose. "I know. It's so intimate, though. For the life of me, I can't see why you want to go with me to the bathroom!"
He didn't think that was her real objection, but this wasn't the time to find out what was. He gave her a feather-soft mental caress and said, "Do you know what I'd like to do right now?"
"No. What?" Her manner was completely innocent, as though she hadn't felt his touch a moment ago.
He'd just have to make his intentions more clear.
Yowsa!
He hadn't known a purely mental touch could be that intense.
Diana smiled at him sweetly. "Is your idea anything like that?"
"You'll have to wait and see, now won't you?"
She wouldn't be waiting long.
**
The trailer had been new once. The stained orange shag carpet had been pristine. Someone had called it "home".
That was long ago.
Weeds were tall outside now, and the driveway full of ruts and rotted leaves. From the smell, a dead animal - or perhaps something larger - lurked under the piles of leaves.
Inside it was unfurnished, except for what had been the master bedroom. A bare mattress sat on the floor in one corner.
In the other end of the bare room, a distinctive chair, modern and ergonomic, sat in a circle of bright light from an adjustable fixture. Just like in a dentist's office.
Only patients in dentist's offices weren't usually naked.
They weren't normally restrained with straps around their arms and legs, either.
And it was rare for them to beg and plead while the dentist - or whoever the man was - worked on them.
Dee rushed downstairs behind Win, trying desperately not to slip on the slick marble steps. They'd be late to the Reception Chamber even if she stayed on her feet.
The High Priestess had given them only a few minutes' warning of the Healers' arrival. Dee really hoped the High Priestess hadn't realized they'd been in bed when she called.
Win's long legs carried him quickly through the hall, and Dee race-walked to stay with him. He paused outside the Reception Chamber. "Catch your breath before we go inside."
"But we're already late!"
He smiled. "This is our Stronghold, Diana. Whenever we arrive is on time by definition."
If that was the case, why had he hurried so to get here? She didn't mind, though. She was anxious to talk to the High Priestess about her dream.
Once she'd stopped panting, he led the way inside. The High Priestess was already in her seat. She nodded regally as they stepped onto the dais.
As soon as she sat down, Dee said, "High Priestess, I had a dream -"
"Shh!" The High Priestess pointed to a spot in front of the dais where a slightly-built older man had just appeared. He wasn't as old as Ogma or Geb, but was certainly more than middle-aged. His grayish-white hair was thin and his shoulders stooped.
Win bowed his head. "Greetings, Healer. I am Mage Gwynvid and this is my mate, Adept Diana."
All right. Dee could see this was a ceremony of some nature. It was no time to tell the High Priestess about her dream. She'd wait.
The man bowed briefly. "Greetings, Mage, Adept. I am Healer Ganesha and I come at the direction of the High Priestess."
"And I thank you for coming, Healer Ganesha," the High Priestess said. "I am sorry to call you away from your other duties so suddenly, but I had no choice."
The Healer nodded. "I understand, High Priestess."
Another figure appeared next to him - Win's sister, Sulis. Her normal assignment was Cliff Magick, and she was the first real girlfriend Dee had ever had.
Win didn't speak, so after a few moments, Dee mind- spoke, [You need to greet her.]
"Greetings, Healer Sulis. I am Mage Gwynvid and this is my mate, Adept Diana."
She bowed, just as formally as if she hadn't eaten dinner with them last evening. "Greetings, Mage, Adept. I come at the direction of the High Priestess."
The High Priestess said, "And I thank you, Healer Sulis."
Her manner shifted into speech-giving mode. "The Balance is faced with what may be an unprecedented challenge. Guardian Gianni, Guardian of Ocean Magick, has lost his magick. You are both known to have special abilities in Healing the mind, and I have summoned you here to assess Guardian Gianni's problem. In addition, the Council hopes you will be able to restore his magick."
Healer Ganesha spoke hesitantly, "If I might ask a question..."
The High Priestess smiled. "Of course, Healer Ganesha. What do you wish to ask?"
"Has Guardian Gianni been ill? I have found, on occasion, a connection between physical illness and the ability to perform magick."
"I'm not aware of any illness," she said. "Unfortunately, you will most likely not have a chance to speak with him until tomorrow. He is currently performing a Vigil of Penance, and we must allow him sufficient time afterward to recover."
Healer Ganesha continued, "Is his lifemate, Priestess Darlene, available to be interviewed in the interim? She might give us an understanding of the facts of the matter."
The High Priestess pressed her lips together and shook her head. "Darlene is no longer a Priestess, nor a Healer. Instead of fulfilling her responsibility to the Balance by reporting Guardian Gianni's loss of magick, she persuaded him to hide it. She has chosen to leave the Stronghold rather than to attempt to repair her relationship with Goddess."
Healer Ganesha grimaced. "I see, High Priestess."
She nodded in acknowledgement, then turned to Dee. "Adept, would you have someone show the Healers to their suites?"
The words were polite enough, but they grated. Dee ignored the feeling and said, "Certainly." She leaned over, pressed the Stronghold button, and typed a request for one of the servants to come to the Reception Chamber.
While they were waiting, the High Priestess said, "I'll meet with both of you in my suite in an hour. We'll make some plans then."
Thor came running into the room a few moments later. He stopped short and stood there, waiting for an order.
Dee smiled at him and he blushed. "Thor, would you please show Healer Ganesha to the Tiverton Suite, and Healer Sulis to the Portsmouth Suite?"
"Yes, Adept." To Healer Ganesha and Sulis, he said, "Please follow me."
Once they were out of the room, the High Priestess slid her chair back. "I'll see you both at dinner."
Dee wasn't about to let her get away. "Just a moment. I didn't get a chance to tell you that I've had another dream about Carla."
"You have?" The High Priestess swiveled her chair to face Dee. "I'm impressed. Most Seers find having Sight dreams incredibly draining."
Why did that matter now? What was happening to Carla was the important thing. "The man who took Carla is doing something horrible to her, but I can't tell what it is. It's critical you locate her right away."
The High Priestess nodded. "I'll attempt to scry for her later this evening."
That wasn't good enough. "Why not right now? You have an hour before you meet with the Healers."
The High Priestess looked at Dee as though she couldn't believe her ears. "Adept Diana, I have many responsibilities. A not-insignificant number of those responsibilities are mine because you are unwilling to accept the role Goddess has chosen for you. Kindly do not attempt to tell me how to perform my job."
She stood and left the Reception Chamber without another word.
**
His first meal as Guardian.
The setting was all Win could have imagined. Like all the rooms he'd seen so far at Ocean Magick, the dining room was grand. It was lit by a crystal chandelier and had a white marble floor. The nicest feature, he thought, was the mural that surrounded them on all four walls. It depicted an America's Cup race in the Sound south of Ocean Magick, complete with spectator fleet. Each boat was realistic and detailed to the point that some individual people could be recognized.
Bedrock gave him the names of the people involved, but Win didn't recognize any of them. That wasn't a surprise. He wasn't sure he'd known anything about the history of the America's Cup until Bedrock told him.
The dining room was considerably larger than the one at Cliff Magick. He guessed that made sense, since there were about twenty suites for guests here. Only the round center table was set tonight. The five place settings were spread out, with lots of space between.
Too bad the conversation was dull to the point of sleep-inducing. Not that the others appeared to agree with him.
Su said to Healer Ganesha, "Grandma and I were incredibly impressed with the way you treated that poor stroke victim. What led you to limit his treatment to Soothing?"
The High Priestess set her fork down on her plate. "Yes, Ganesha. That intrigued me, too."
Healer Ganesha blinked his eyes rapidly as though he wasn't used to that much attention. "Well, I had intended to use the standard treatment..."
When Healer Ganesha launched into a technical treatise on the subject, Win couldn't take it any longer. [Is Su just buttering him up? She can't possibly be interested in this dreck!]
Diana smiled slightly across the table at him. [She's a Healer, Win, and it sounds like this treatment is really new and innovative. Anyway, Healer Ganesha is famous. I've even heard of him.]
[I know. But at home, dinner conversations were a lot more enjoyable. Let's think of something else to talk about. I'll bet you have lots of questions you could ask the High Priestess about how the Balance works.]
Her smile disappeared. [All I want to know right now is why she doesn't care about Carla.]
[What do you mean? Of course she cares about Carla!]
[Then why isn't she doing anything to find her? I know restoring Guardian Gianni's magick is important, but you're here now. The region isn't unprotected any longer.]
Unfortunately, that wasn't completely true. He understood Diana's point, though. [Grandma told me that Seers normally have times of the day when their Sight works best, so maybe that's why the High Priestess is waiting until tonight to scry for Carla.]
Diana scowled suddenly and pushed her plate away. [Look, I know you've been brainwashed your whole life about how great the High Priestess is. But don't sit there defending the bitch to me!]
He'd been brainwashed? He wanted to blast her, to tell her how unfair she was being. She didn't understand his devotion to Goddess and the Balance, but that didn't mean his beliefs were wrong.
He stayed silent because he knew anything he said would only make her angrier. Besides, he was frustrated with the lack of attention to Carla's abduction, too. Carla might only be a Healer Apprentice, but that didn't make her expendable. She was a human being, and she'd dedicated her life to serving Goddess, just as everyone in the Balance had. She deserved better.
[In case it matters, I think the High Priestess should do something about finding Carla, too.]
She didn't answer, but her expression softened.
He took that as encouragement and linked with her. [Come on, sweetheart, don't be angry.] Her mind felt nothing like normal, all rough jagged edges rather than smooth curves. [Let me help you relax.]
His Healing skills weren't very good, but he should be able to help her feel better. He visualized rubbing a cool creamy liquid into those rough edges to Soothe her.
Her head jerked up and she said, [Get out of my head, Win.]
[I just -]
Her glare was so intense it felt like flames on the skin of his face. [I. Said. Get. Out. Of. My. Head!]
He remembered the only other time she'd said those words to him. They'd been spoken in what she hadn't known at the time was her Voice of Power, and she'd Coerced him to obey. He'd ended up on the floor, dizzy and disoriented.
Even worse, he'd lost the ability to mind-speak to her. It had only been temporary, luckily. His exile had ended when she reversed the Coercion.
He couldn't take the chance of that happening ever again.
He closed their link.
**
Dee wanted to throw this lovely crystal goblet across the room, followed by her delicate English bone china dinner plate, and topped off with the heavy cut-glass wine decanter. If she was lucky, the decanter would hit the bitch of a High Priestess in the head and knock her onto the floor on her very regal butt.
Dee wouldn't even mind if the plate smacked into Win's too-gorgeous-for-his-own-good face.
That was awful of her, she knew. Win was her lifemate, and she loved him more than she'd thought possible. She tried not to blame him for being such a loyal Balance wimp, but sometimes she couldn't help it.
He'd made it a whole lot worse by mind-linking in front of everyone like that. Didn't he knew how exposed that made her feel? Like that awful night at the party with Barry...
Eeuw! She shivered and forced herself to pay attention to the conversation around her.
Well, that wasn't much better. They were talking about some gross wounds a couple of Mages had suffered recently. Apparently, Aradia had treated one of the Mages and Ganesha the other. Sulis and Ganesha were comparing the treatments the two Mages had received, and trying to decide which would be best to use next time.
Before that subject was exhausted, Thor hurried into the room through the main entrance rather than the kitchen door. "Um, excuse me, Mage Gwynvid, sir..."
"Yes, Thor? What is it?"
"Um, Guardian Gianni has a visitor. And, um, the High Priestess said -"
"I know what I said," the High Priestess intervened. "Who is this visitor?"
He cringed. "Um, I don't know his name..."
The High Priestess shook her head and looked at Dee. "Now, really! I realize you just arrived this morning, Adept, but I expect you'll take care of training the staff better before the season starts. Ocean Magick has the reputation of being an excellent place to spend one's vacation, but that reputation certainly won't last with such poorly-trained servants."
The woman was a gold-plated bitch.
Dee didn't give a hoot in hell about Ocean Magick's reputation. Carla's life was at stake!
**
This was no time to be worrying about how well- trained the staff was, and Win opened his mouth to say that to the High Priestess.
Before he could speak, a large man sailed past Thor into the room. "Oh, Svati, please, don't blame poor Thor! I've been coming here for ages, but Thor only knows me by sight."
The man wasn't impressive. He was somewhere around middle-aged and neither short nor tall. Win would call him portly. His round stomach started at his chest and curved out, making him look about nine-months pregnant. How could any self-respecting man let himself get into that kind of shape?
The man stopped several feet from the table and frowned at the High Priestess. "I must say, this is odd. Here I come to see my old friends Gianni and Darlene, and not only aren't they here, but I see strangers in their seats. Svati, would you please explain what's going on?"
Win decided he must have know her a long time. Svati must be a nickname for Sarasvati.
"Janus." The High Priestess's smile was forced. "I had no idea you and Gianni were still friends."
He smiled slightly and shook his head. "I'm not surprised. I seriously doubt whether you pay much attention to Gianni normally, and you certainly have no interest in my activities. But I really must insist on an answer. Your attitude makes me wonder whether something untoward is going on."
The High Priestess stood and faced him. She leaned forward, her white-knuckled fists resting on the table, as if she was holding herself back from hitting him. "Nothing inappropriate is going on, Janus, merely things that are none of your business. Gianni has asked for, and been granted, a leave of absence to deal with some health issues."
Janus frowned at that. "Health issues? But he seemed fine last evening when we played chess. And where's Darlene? She isn't sick, too, is she?"
"Darlene has gone to visit relatives. Since you're such an excellent friend of hers, Janus, I'm sure you remember she's from the Newport area."
"As I recall, both Gianni and Darlene are. Now, is Gianni here? I assume he must be, or Thor would have told me otherwise. I'd like to see him, even if he is sick."
The High Priestess shook her head. "That's not possible tonight. He's in the Ritual Ground, performing a Vigil."
He stared at her for several more seconds, as if gauging his ability to change her mind. "Then I'll be back tomorrow to see him." Suddenly smiling, he looked around the table. "Nice to see you again, Healer Ganesha." Without waiting for a reply, he went on, "Now, Svati, introduce me to these lovely young people. I assume this fine specimen of Balance manhood is the Guardian Pro Tem, ready to take on the world for Goddess."
Win wasn't sure how to react to Janus's sarcasm, so he pretended not to notice it. "I'm Mage Gwynvid, Guardian Pro Tem of Ocean Magick."
He would have introduced Diana and Su, but Janus suddenly demanded, "You wouldn't be Ra's boy, Winston, by any chance, would you?"
"Yes, I am. Do you know my father?"
Janus laughed like Win had told a hilarious joke. "Do I know your father? I certainly do, my boy! Ra and I were Mage Apprentices together - Gianni, too." He nodded toward the High Priestess and Healer Ganesha. "Svati was a Healer Apprentice at the time, and Healer Ganesha was unlucky enough to have us all as students."
Janus nodded. "Oh, the tales I could tell about the antics your father and I got up to. Not in front of Healer Ganesha, though!" He rolled his eyes.
He turned to look at Diana. "This must be your lovely lifemate. What is your name, my dear?"
Win was afraid she'd refuse to answer, but when she said, simply, "Diana," he couldn't resist bragging. "Diana's an Adept."
"Is that so? How very intriguing! Adept Diana, I hope you might be willing to chat with me sometime soon about magick. I find the subject endlessly fascinating."
She'd be more likely to out-and-out tell Janus to go to hell.
**
Dee smiled. "I'd like that, Janus. Or should I call you Mage Janus?" She wasn't sure she trusted this Janus character. He was entirely too full of himself. But then again, the High Priestess clearly disliked him, so that was a plus for him.
He shook his head, tight-lipped. "No, Adept Diana, I'm not a Mage. I gave that up years ago when I left the Balance."
She glanced quickly at the High Priestess, whose disapproval of Janus was more apparent than ever. Was she afraid Janus would tell Dee some secrets that would make her even less likely to knuckle under?
How intriguing!
**
Win gaped at Diana. She sounded...nice? Wasn't she angry any longer?
"Mage Gwynvid?" Janus's voice broke into his thoughts. "Would you be so kind as to introduce me to the lovely young lady sitting to your left?"
To Win's disgust, Su didn't wait for his introduction. She was already batting her eyelashes like mad. "I'm Healer Sulis, Win's sister."
Janus stared at her face for several seconds. "Oh, yes. I can see your mother in your face now. Such a lovely woman, and her daughter is even lovelier."
Su giggled. "You know Mom, too?"
He nodded, his gaze like that of a starving man who'd just seen his first meal in weeks. "Indeed, I do. I've known Debbie nearly as long as Ra has. Nowhere near as well, though," he added with a suggestive laugh.
The High Priestess sighed. "Really, Janus. You may have all evening to chat about old times, but we don't. Kindly spare us any more of your nonsense and take your leave."
Wait a minute! This was Win's Stronghold, wasn't it? Telling someone to leave was his right, not the High Priestess's.
But before Win could do anything, Janus held his hands up in front of him. "Sorry, Svati. I'm sure you Balance people are super-busy fighting evil, as always. It was just such a surprise to meet Ra's offspring - and an Adept!"
The High Priestess's stare was unflinching.
"Okay, okay. I'll go. But I'll be back tomorrow."
He strutted to the door and turned around. "And Svati, I'd seriously advise you to let me see Gianni then."
Win's authority had been ignored once too often. He stood. "Janus, in case you've forgotten your Balance protocol, this Stronghold is mine. It is no longer your old friend Guardian Gianni's, nor is it the High Priestess's. I make the decisions about who is allowed admittance and who is not."
Thor still hovered by the entrance. Win instructed him, "Thor, in the future, you will check with me before allowing Janus to enter the Stronghold."
He was going to love being a Guardian.
Dee waited until she was certain Janus was out of earshot. "Why did Janus leave the Balance?"
The High Priestess waved her hand in dismissal. "You'd have to ask Janus that question. And now, you must excuse me. I have urgent business to attend to." She swept out of the room, moving much more quickly than Dee would have thought possible.
She turned to Healer Ganesha. "Do you know?" If he didn't answer, she might just shake him.
The elderly Healer glanced longingly at the door, as if he'd rather be anywhere else. Finally he said, "There was some trouble when Luna died."
"Trouble? What kind of trouble? Did he do something to cause her death?" That was Win, jumping to conclusions.
Dee had to smile. She loved him incredibly.
"Oh, no." Healer Ganesha sounded shocked at the idea. "Luna died on an assignment. Janus would never have hurt her. They were lifemates."
"How awful." Dee's insides felt hollow, as she tried to imagine how that would feel. To lose Win...
"It was horribly sad." Healer Ganesha nodded, his expression serious. "And it came only about a year after Ra left the Balance. Just like that, we lost three of our best and brightest. Frankly - and I'd rather you didn't tell Sarasvati I said this - I don't think the Balance has recovered yet. It's hard to explain, but sometimes I feel like the Council goes a bit overboard these days in protecting our young Mages and Mage Apprentices. I understand they're our future, but -"
He looked at Win and shook his head. "Mage, you could have gone out in the field two years ago, from the reports I've heard. Yet, they held you back, training endlessly, trying to guarantee you'd be prepared for any eventuality."
Win laughed without humor. "Which I wasn't. If it hadn't been for Diana, I'd be dead several times over."
Ganesha said, "That proves my point, Win. Extra training wasn't what you needed. Experience was. But I can see the Council's point of view, too. Once you lose a Mage Apprentice on assignment, you don't want to run the risk of that happening again."
"Luna was a Mage Apprentice? I didn't realize there'd been any female Mage Apprentices since -" Win made a face while he thought. He shook his head, "I think it was 1790 or so."
"Just the one. And by the way, she was Sarasvati's younger sister, so you can perhaps understand if the whole subject is a bit tender to our High Priestess."
Well yes, Dee could understand how the High Priestess wouldn't want to be in the same room with Janus. Her feelings toward him seemed both colder than grief and angrier than regret, though.
"Now, I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me, too," Ganesha said, sliding back his chair. "I began the day on Castle Magick time, so it's long past my bedtime."
"Goodnight, Ganesha. Thank you for staying long enough to explain about Janus," Dee said.
His explanation left a lot of holes, though. Holes whose answers might help her find a compromise with the Balance.
On the other hand, the answers might completely blow the possibility of a compromise.
Dee wasn't sure which result she hoped for.
**
"What were you doing, flirting with Janus?" Win asked his sister. "He's Dad's age."
Su rolled her eyes and made a face at him. "I wasn't flirting. Anyway, you may be the grand poobah around here, but that doesn't mean you can tell me what to do in my private life."
Too bad. He'd like to lock her up until she learned not to use those eyelashes of hers as weapons. "I didn't care for the way he looked at you. Like you were a particularly tasty morsel he was about to gobble up."
She snorted. "Thanks for the compliment, big brother. Janus was just doing whatever he could to give the High Priestess a hard time. Imagine calling her by a nickname she probably hated thirty years ago!"
Diana laughed. "Yeah. Wasn't it great? I thought she was going to strangle him when he wouldn't leave like she wanted him to."
Just what Win needed - for Su to egg Diana on in her dislike of the High Priestess. "Come on, you two. You can find something better to talk about."
Su stuck her tongue out at him. "Party pooper."
In one of her trademark lightning mood swings, she sobered. She looked first at Diana and then at Win. "You guys would like me to disappear, wouldn't you? Just give me directions to the exercise room and I'll go work out."
"No, we don't want you to disappear," Diana protested. "Why would you think that?"
"Yeah," Win said, "let's all go together. I haven't taken a look at the equipment yet, either. After the day we've had, we need to work off some steam."
Su shook her head. "Come on, guys! I know you both pretty well. You haven't done that sickening moon-eyes thing even once since I got here! Of course you want me to get lost."
Win couldn't decide whether to react as a Guardian or a big brother. Either way, outrage was his only defense. "Moon-eyes? What in Goddess's name are you talking about?"
"The look that says the whole rest of the universe exists for the sole purpose of..."
His whole chair started vibrating. Either this was one of those magic-fingers chairs, or he was being discreetly cued about an incoming message. The right armrest of his chair had a small keyboard and display unit built into it. He flipped back the upholstery-covered lid to access it.
"We have a phone call," he told Diana. "Council business." He typed a short command. "Let's take it in my office."
As they stood, Diana said to Su, "The gym's on the second floor, over the garages. I'm not sure how to get there, though."
"The second floor hallway goes all the way around," Win tossed over his shoulder as he headed out the door. To Diana, he said, "This should be the answer we're looking for."
She caught up with him in a few steps. "That was quick. I was afraid it might take days to get an answer."
He'd been more afraid no one had ever run into this problem before. Keeping that fear from Diana would have been a lot harder if she'd been willing to stay linked.
**
Dee had expected their caller to be Geb's age or older, a Guardian with many years of experience and wisdom. Instead it was a reasonably young man with pasty skin and thick glasses.
Win said, "Greetings. Mage Gwynvid and Adept Diana here."
The man smiled. "Oh, good. Nice to meet you both. I'm Mage Llyr from Outback Magick, calling in response to your query."
She said to Win, [A Mage from Australia? I wouldn't think he'd know anything about my problem with Bedrock.]
As though he'd heard her comment, Mage Llyr laughed. "I know. When I said I was calling on Council business, you assumed I was someone from Castle Magick. Actually, I'm doing a study on Bedrock."
"A study?" Dee asked. "Have other Guardians' lifemates had this problem with Bedrock sending them data?"
He shook his head. "Not that I know of. In fact, according to my current theories on how the link with Bedrock works, it shouldn't be able to happen."
"Well then, your theories must be wrong," Win said.
Mage Llyr bristled. "They may not be complete, but they're accurate as far as they go. Your experience indicates I may need more data, however. I'm hoping you and Adept Diana will agree to work with me on this project."
Maybe it was wrong to be suspicious, but she couldn't help it. "What do you mean, work with you?"
He licked his lips and leaned forward. "To begin with, I very much need to understand how Bedrock's communication with Mage Gwynvid is crossing the barrier into Adept Diana's mind. This may take some experimentation. We'll start by asking Bedrock to feed Mage Gwynvid data at a fairly slow but constant rate. Once we've established that the data transfer is indeed taking place, we will increase the rate until we begin to see -"
She'd been right. "Forget it! I'm not going to be a guinea pig for the Balance."
"Adept Diana! This project is of the utmost importance! The link our Guardians have with Bedrock is central to our very ability to defend the world against evil. We must learn all we can about the link's nature. Surely you understand that?"
"The Balance should have studied this issue hundreds of years ago, if it was so all-fired important," she snapped.
Win reached over and caught her hand. She guessed she should calm down a little.
Mage Llyr appealed to Win. "Mage, surely you can help Adept Diana understand..."
Win shook his head. "Diana has made up her mind, Mage Llyr. Her reaction to Bedrock's communication clearly was painful, perhaps dangerous. I would never ask her to do anything to place her safety or well-being in danger. In any case, this region requires my full attention. It's also possible the Stronghold itself is in danger. This is no time to be running experiments."
Mage Llyr appeared dumbfounded. After a few seconds, he said, "I hope you realize my study has been fast-tracked by the Council. They won't be happy to hear that you've turned me down."
Dee laughed, obviously not the reaction Mage Llyr was expecting. "The Council's not very happy with me at the moment, as it is. But I'll make you a deal. If you come up with a reasonable theory about the cause of this data- overflow problem and some ideas on how to solve it, Win and I will find time to work with you."
Llyr's eyes narrowed in thought. After a moment he nodded rather absently. "You've got a deal, Adept Diana. I'll be in touch." The screen went blank.
Win said, "Let's go upstairs."
"Sure. I wonder how Mr. Bill is doing?"
Win didn't answer, and he didn't slip his arm around her waist on the way, either. Today must have been incredibly exhausting for him.
Dee checked on Mr. Bill right away. He was still hiding in the covered litter box, but he peeked out when he heard her voice.
She dropped down onto the floor. "Hello there, sweetie. I'm sorry we had to go out for so long. Are you ready to come out and look around yet?"
He didn't disappear, so she offered her hand for him to sniff and rub up against. "That's right, Bill. See, I'm the same person. Win's here, too. You like him, don't you?"
Win had been wandering around the suite since they got back, and now he came to the doorway. "When you finish with him, we need to talk." His voice was tight with tension.
Oh, dear. "You're mad because I yelled at you, aren't you?"
His lips pressed together. After a moment, he shook his head. "No...not exactly... well, kind of, but it's more complicated than that." He opened his mouth, then closed it and looked away. Diana thought he might be grinding his teeth.
At last he nodded. "Just come in the other room when you're ready, okay?"
Dee petted Mr. Bill a few more times and told him, "You come out when you're ready, sweetie. I'll bet there are lots of neat places for you to explore."
When she walked into the sitting room a few minutes later, she saw Win just opening the door.
"You're done so soon?" he said. "I was going to work out for a while."
"This is more important." She sat on the couch and patted the cushion beside her. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
He came back, but didn't sit down. "It's not so much that you yelled at me that bothers me. It was you making me get out of your head."
"You were Soothing me, and I didn't want that."
"But why not? You were really upset. Your mind was all jagged and everything."
"I know, but we were in public."
He sat then, and tapped his fingers on his knee. "I don't get it. Why does that matter?"
"Mind-linking's personal!"
"So? Nobody else knew what I was doing."
"But I knew!" How could she explain she'd felt...naked? Maybe that party with Barry when he...
She squirmed all over again. The most awful, most embarrassing, most humiliating experience of her entire life. But maybe it would help Win understand. He had to!
No matter. She took a deep breath. "I used to do anything to keep Barry happy. Sometimes I hated it, but well..." The deep breath she took seemed to stick in her chest.
"Right after we got married, I still thought I had a prayer of pleasing him. There was this big-deal party Mickelson and Company put on every year. It wasn't for the employees or anything, more like their important customers and suppliers and people like that."
Not that Win cared who the party was for. She was just delaying the moment of truth. "So anyway, I had a fancy new dress for the party, and I went to the hairdresser and the whole nine yards. It was a Saturday, so Barry was there when I got home from getting my hair done."
She swallowed and licked her lips. "He came out from the shower with just a towel on. He'd bought me something special to wear that night, he said, pointing over at the bed. Laying there was this little-nothing bra, a garter belt, and black stockings. Stockings, not pantyhose."
Win's lips curved in a seductive grin. "Sexy underwear, huh?"
She banged her hand against her forehead. Why hadn't she realized what any mention of sex would do to this conversation? "Just listen to the rest of the story, okay?"
"Sure thing." He tried to look serious, but she knew it was only surface-level.
"Well, anyway, there were no panties. Barry said to put the things on anyway so he could see if they fit." Even back then, she hadn't been naïve enough to think that fit was his concern.
Now, she was getting even more embarrassed, so she skipped ahead to the end. "The point is he made me wear those things under my dress to the party, without any panties. Nobody except the two of us knew, but that wasn't important to me. What mattered was that I knew, and I was uncomfortable and embarrassed the whole evening."
That same sick embarrassment sat in her belly right now, just from remembering. "I felt the same way tonight. Soothing me like you did would have been fine if we'd been alone, but we weren't. Just mind-linking with other people around would have been embarrassing, but when you..." Another wave of shame washed through her, along with dread.
Had she made Win understand how she felt? Or was his focus still on that damn underwear?
**
For once, Win was glad they weren't mind-linked. His fertile imagination had created a very sexy picture of Diana in that outfit. It wasn't easy to ignore.
Win thought he understood the point of Diana's story, but he didn't see what it had to do with mind- linking. After all, it wasn't as if he'd done something to humiliate her in public. Obviously there was something here he didn't understand. Something very important to Diana. "Why does mind-linking embarrass you?" he asked. "Is it because we do it when we make love?"
She chewed her lower lip for a few seconds, then shook her head. "I don't think so. Not just plain mind- linking. When you were Soothing me, that was part of it, though. You were, like, stroking me, and that was a little like..." Her voice trailed off and she bit her lip harder.
He chomped down on his tongue so he wouldn't think what it was like. "But even regular mind-linking in public embarrasses you?"
"It's not just in public," she admitted. "That only makes it a lot worse. Even back at Cliff Magick, those times when we stayed linked for most of the day made me feel funny."
"I thought you agreed it was great!"
"It was. Being linked with you is great. I love the way it feels kind of like we're just one person, spread out across two bodies."
"That's what being lifemates is. We share a soul. Being linked is the natural way for us to be." He paused, wishing they were linked right now. "Diana, I can see you don't agree. What's the problem?"
Her face scrunched up. He knew he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.
"I know it feels that way sometimes. But we aren't one person, we're two. We think differently about things."
His heart started beating again. "Of course. That's one of the really cool parts of being lifemates. We bring two different backgrounds and ways of thinking to the problems we face. Like now, with me being Guardian Pro Tem, when a problem happens in my region, it's not just me who's involved in solving it. We're in it together, and your idea might work better than mine, or maybe a combination of both ideas would be the best."
She nodded, but her expression was still skeptical. "Okay, sure. But it could just as easily work the other way. Like when we got here this morning, and the High Priestess was talking about me dedicating my life to Goddess and everything. I was thinking about her trying to run my life and how Goddess was into manipulating everybody all the time, and that upset you."
It took him a second to come up with an answer to that. "It wasn't what you said that upset me. It was the fact you feel that way about Goddess and the High Priestess."
She grimaced. "Well, it's the truth. But I feel really bad we were linked when I thought those things. Today was a really important day for you, and I spoiled it by sharing such nasty thoughts with you."
How could she even think such a thing? "You didn't spoil it! You being here with me is what made it special!"
She didn't answer and refused to meet his eyes.
He slid closer and took her hands in his. "That's the honest truth, sweetheart. There's nothing you could ever say or think or do that would change how I feel about you. You're my lifemate, and you're as much a part of me as my right arm."
She looked up then, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I know."
He wasn't sure she did. "So if being afraid you'll think something that will upset me is why you don't want to stay linked..."
She shook her head. "We can't, anyway. Not until we figure out how to stop Bedrock from making me dizzy."
"I'll just tell Bedrock not to flood me with data like that." Maybe for now they'd have to close their link while he was actively working, but that was only part of the day.
Her voice was soft and hesitant. "Doesn't what we have now satisfy you?"
He felt a thud in the pit of his stomach. He was being like Barry, wanting things from Diana she couldn't provide. And she'd already given him more than he could comprehend.
He gathered her into his arms. "Diana, my love, of course it does! Of course it does!"
But it would be better if they stayed linked.
**
The scene was the same.
The down-on-its-luck trailer in the middle of nowhere.
The naked woman strapped into a dental chair. A leather strap across the bridge of her nose had been added, holding her head against the headrest.
A man hunched over the woman, his beefy hands covering much of her face and head.
Her body twitched and jerked as though the man's hands were electric prods.
"No!" Her plea was hoarse, as if her voice was nearly gone.
With a massive heave, she managed to twist her head a couple of inches.
The man's fingers slid across her lips.
One slipped between the teeth of her suddenly- open mouth.
She bit down hard, drawing blood.
The man screamed.
Her screech shook the trailer, then she fainted.
The man swore as he sucked his bitten finger. "Damn you, damn you, damn you! You've ruined everything!" He waved his other hand.
The restraining straps all fell away.
The woman slammed into the far wall and slid to the floor.
"You bitch. We could have..."
Bonelessly she floated from the floor, hung there for an instant...
A scream of rage filled the room as the woman crashed into the next wall. Like a floppy rag doll, she careened around the room, into wall after wall.
Again.
Again.
And again.
Eventually the walls were all decorated with her blood.
Dee sat at the dining room table, cradling a mug of Aradia's wonderful Healing tea in her hands. The spicy aroma and warmth helped distance her a little from that awful dream.
Everyone was at the table except for the one person Dee needed to see. "Isn't the High Priestess joining us for breakfast?"
Ganesha finished a bite of oatmeal before saying, "She's probably running late. Whenever she's away from Castle Magick like this, she has to start and end the day with conference calls with her assistants and other Council members."
Dee was probably supposed to feel sorry for the bitch's workload. Not likely after that dream! Carla was the one to feel sorry for.
Was she still alive after last night? The way that man had thrown her around the room could easily have killed her.
Ganesha went back to his breakfast. He and Sulis talked quietly about their plans for working with Guardian Gianni that day. Dee was glad they didn't include her in the conversation. She would have said some things she might have regretted later.
Win ate steadily, but not with his usual gusto. She knew he was still shaken from waking up to her screams. She'd told him about the dream, but hadn't played it back for him. No one should have to witness something that dreadful.
The High Priestess arrived quite late in the meal. Even though it was early morning, she moved slowly, stiffly, as though exhausted. There were dark circles under her eyes that hadn't been there yesterday.
Dee waited until she'd given her breakfast order to Gracie before asking, "Were you able to locate Carla last night, High Priestess? I had another dream, and it was even worse."
The High Priestess's forehead drew together and she sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that, Adept. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to scry for her last night, after all. Something more urgent required my full attention."
"More urgent? What could possibly be more urgent than saving Carla from the maniac who took her?" Dee gripped the edge of the table, to keep herself from screaming at the bitch.
"Sad to say, there are numerous demands of more urgency. I sympathize with your feelings for your friend - "
"She's not my friend!"
The High Priestess shook her head impatiently. "Your colleague, then. My point remains the same. Carla is one single member of the Balance. My responsibility is to Goddess, first of all, and secondly, to the Balance as a whole."
Yeah, right. Dee had heard that same argument from Ogma, after Win had been captured by Shiva. She didn't believe it now, either.
So the bitch had strung her along for a whole day, for nothing. Had she ever intended to look for Carla?
It was coming down to the same old story - the Balance didn't care enough about the poor schmucks who dedicated their lives to Goddess to even try to save them. Well, Dee cared. "If I was going to have to find her myself, you should have told me!"
The High Priestess just stared at her, her eyes squinting slightly. "Your Sight is untrained, Adept Diana," she said at last. "I hardly think finding Carla is something you can just decide you're going do."
"I won't know unless I try, will I?" Dee shoved her chair back from the table and stood. "Excuse me, everyone. I have something urgent to do."
She only wished she had a clue how to go about it.
**
Win watched Diana leave. He wanted to follow, to hold her and comfort her. He could almost feel her anguish. If only she'd link...
For the first time he realized the cost of being a Guardian. Before he went to his lifemate, he had to try to mend this rift between Diana and the High Priestess.
"I apologize for Diana, High Priestess," he said. "She's new to the Balance and has little understanding of your many responsibilities." For that matter, he didn't know a heck of lot about them, himself.
"I realize that," she answered, precisely buttering a piece of the toast Gracie had just delivered. "Perhaps I'm expecting too much of her, too quickly. But these are difficult times, and the Balance is in desperate need of an Adept."
"You remember the old adage about flies and honey," Ganesha said quietly.
Her expression was sour as she chewed, but then she nodded. "Of course you're right. I'm afraid I sometimes find myself behaving a bit like Goddess. One can get away with being demanding and imperious a lot easier if one is divine." Her smile made her look years younger.
Ganesha laughed along with her, but Su looked horrified.
Win's reaction was somewhere in the middle. He'd had a couple of personal encounters with Goddess, so he knew demanding and imperious were both accurate descriptions.
But his life was dedicated to serving Her. It didn't seem right to joke about Her.
He turned his attention back to his breakfast, knowing he had to eat, even though his appetite had deserted him. He'd finished the bacon and eggs, so he only had a stack of pancakes left to eat. He couldn't face the sweetness of maple syrup, but he thought he might choke them down with just butter.
Food was even more important to Mages and Guardians than it was to most people. Food was fuel, and fuel powered magick. Win remembered seeing Grandpa grimly eating two or three steaks at a time when in the middle of a crisis.
Win had been sure he'd never feel the same way. He loved to eat. Until now. The sight of Diana's pale face and her reaction to that awful dream had proved him wrong. Food had no appeal. Not today.
Well, there was no help for it. He didn't look up until his plate was empty. The High Priestess was still at the table, even though she'd finished her toast and coffee. He'd heard Ganesha and Su leave while he was stuffing in pancakes that had all the taste appeal of slabs of indoor/outdoor carpet. Why hadn't she gone with them?
As soon as he put his fork down, she said, "Mage, I'm afraid your work this morning will need to be put off."
"Why?"
She grimaced. "Because I have some important information to share with Adept Diana, and you need to be there with me."
"What kind of information?" And why did he need to be with her? Was she afraid Diana wouldn't listen to her unless he was there, too?
She half-smiled in exasperation. "You're a lot like your father, Mage. He always wanted to know everything up front, too. I imagine he's matured a bit since I knew him."
In perfect sympathy with Diana, he bit back an angry response. So she thought he wasn't mature. Well, he might still have some growing up to do, but only a fool didn't learn everything he could about a situation before tackling it. His dad had taught him that. "Perhaps I seem immature to you, High Priestess. But Dad still wants to know what and who he's dealing with."
Asking questions others would rather not answer had nothing to do with maturity.
It had to do with integrity.
**
Dee heard a tap on the door. Mr. Bill scrambled out of her lap and ran into the bedroom. Probably Thor or Gracie with fresh towels or the like. She called, "Come in."
To her surprise Win entered. As soon as he was inside, she saw why he'd knocked.
"Sorry to bother you, but the High Priestess needs to speak with both of us." His smile was uncertain, as if he wondered if she was going to yell at him.
Dee wished now that she wasn't just sitting here, since she'd made such a big thing about looking for Carla herself. It looked like she'd been playing with Mr. Bill instead. Actually she'd been trying to astrally travel to wherever Carla was.
A break would be welcome, since she'd had absolutely no success at all. Maybe the High Priestess would be willing to tell her a little bit about scrying. That sounded like an easier way to find someone. Hopefully, Dee could pick up the technique as quickly as she did most types of magick. She smiled. "Okay. Come have a seat."
The High Priestess sat in a fragile-appearing straight chair Dee had assumed was just for decoration. "Please, call me Sarasvati. The three of us are going to be working together for many years. There's no sense standing on formality."
Win sat next to Dee on the couch. "Okay. I'm Win."
Dee wasn't sure she wouldn't rather stay on a formal footing with this woman, but she said, "You can call me Diana."
The High Priestess's lips peeled back into a very unnatural smile. "Diana, after you left breakfast this morning, Ganesha pointed out that I haven't been very pleasant to you. I'd like to apologize for my behavior, and I promise I'll treat you with more consideration from now on."
From the way the High Priestess seemed to have to force out each word, Dee doubted that she apologized very often. Maybe if she explained, the High Priestess - no, she should start thinking of her as Sarasvati - would understand why Dee couldn't forgive Goddess.
"I know my attitude about Goddess seems strange to all of you, but you must remember I didn't grow up in the world you did. I grew up, unwanted and unloved, in the harsh reality of not enough money and too many bills. I never fit in, and nobody ever liked me."
Win reached over and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back, and left their hands entwined for courage.
"I always assumed it was a matter of luck. The popular kids with loving families were lucky, and I wasn't. Then I find out Goddess planned all that. She gave me all those awful experiences so I'd know how to handle my magickal ability." Her voice rose, because every time she thought about what Goddess had done to her, she got mad. She took several deep breaths to calm herself.
After holding the last breath for several seconds, she let it out slowly. "That explanation just doesn't cut it for me. If I had to have a miserable life so I'd know what to do with my magick, then why didn't Win have to have a miserable life, too?" Once more she heard her voice go high and loud. "Or you, for that matter?"
Sarasvati stared at her fingers, twisting together in her lap. Her expression was...sad? "Diana, believe me, I wish I could answer that question in a way that would truly help you. All I can say is that Goddess presents each of us with challenges in life. How we deal with those challenges determines much of what happens to us as we go through life. You handled the challenges Goddess gave you well, or we wouldn't be sitting here today."
Dee was relieved to have Sarasvati talking seriously about these issues, but she hadn't yet said anything meaningful. "You say Goddess gives each of us challenges. I'm sorry, but I don't see what great challenges the rest of you have faced."
Win made a sound and Dee looked over at him. He was frowning, and his mouth was tight, lips turned in. A muscle worked at the angle of his jaw. Had she hurt his feelings again? She squeezed his hand in apology. "I'm sorry. It's really none of my business what you..."
Sarasvati shook her head. "You're right, it isn't."
She paused, as if deep in thought, then nodded. "I can give you an example from my own life that might help you understand, though. You look at me today and see the High Priestess of the Balance, quite a lofty position, and one I'm thrilled and honored to hold."
Her voice broke, and she paused a moment before she continued, "But I've faced my own challenges. One of them I think you've already heard about."
"Your sister's death?" Win asked.
"Yes. Luna's death." She stared down at her hands clenched in her lap. "That was very hard for me, and it came at a time when I was already dealing with another loss."
She swallowed twice and looked straight at Win. "I suspect, Win, that you know little of your father's decision to leave the Balance."
"Practically nothing. He doesn't normally talk about the Balance, and never about when he was part of it. But why? He doesn't have anything to do with what..." His voice trailed off uncertainly.
Sarasvati said, "But he does, Win. When I was twelve, Ra and I discovered we could mind-speak to one another."
Dee gasped. Sarasvati couldn't mean...
"You're my dad's lifemate?" Win stared at her, mouth agape. "I don't believe you! He and Mom..."
Sarasvati shook her head. "I'm telling you the truth, Win. Your parents are very much in love, but they are not lifemates."
"But... but he left the Balance and married Mom! Why would he do that, if he'd already found his lifemate in the Balance?"
"He married your mother because he loves her." She hesitated before saying, "As to why he left the Balance, perhaps you should ask him. Ra and I never spoke about that."
Win seemed to be thrown completely for a loop by the news. Dee was shocked, too, but not so much that she lost the thread of what Sarasvati was saying. "Win's dad had already left the Balance by the time Luna died."
Sarasvati nodded. "A bit more than a year earlier. I have to tell you, Ra's decision was a huge shock to everyone, from our fellow students all the way up to the Council. It's hardly the first time a member of the Balance has fallen in love with someone other than their lifemate, but choosing to follow that love is... Well, it's not unprecedented, perhaps, but it happens very rarely."
She looked directly at Win, who still seemed stunned. "Your grandparents must have been far more devastated than I was. Your grandfather had been a Guardian a number of years by then, and your grandmother had already made a name for herself as a Healer. Ra was their pride and joy."
Her sigh was unbearably sad. "I know they felt his departure from the Balance deeply. I've always been impressed they stayed close to him and Debbie all these years." Her smile was tight. "Of course, now they have you and Sulis to carry on the family tradition."
Dee said, "I can't even imagine how you must have felt."
Sarasvati shook her head slightly, as if to deny the pain that showed even now on her face. "It was a shock, certainly, and a disruption of all my plans. But I wonder now if we truly were lifemates. We never fit together all that well. Neither our goals nor our interests coincided."
"Neither did Win's and mine," Dee said. "But now that we're bonded, that's changing."
"Perhaps that would have happened with us, too," Sarasvati said. "We'll never know. In any event, I'm convinced it all worked out the way Goddess intended. I'm only a moderately good Healer, and that's what I focused on before Ra left the Balance. But because he left and I felt the need of Goddess's comfort, I devoted myself to Her and to learning the practice of our religion. That's what enabled me to become High Priestess."
Tears appeared in her eyes. She gazed at Win for several seconds before speaking again. "I must admit, though, that when I look at the fine young man who might be my son, I feel a bit of sorrow that I'll never know the supreme joy of being a mother."
Before she fully realized what she was doing, Dee crossed the space that separated them and put her arms around Sarasvati.
**
Win breathed a big sigh of relief when Diana hugged Sarasvati. He hoped their feud was over for good. Maybe, if they were very lucky, Diana was a little closer now to accepting Goddess.
His head was still spinning, though. Sarasvati and Dad? He just couldn't believe it. Or maybe he could, because of what Mom and Dad had said once. He'd called to tell them he and Diana were lifemates and were having their bonding ceremony that next Saturday. Dad asked if he loved Diana. Win wasn't expecting that question, so he repeated that they were lifemates and could mind-speak and mind- link. Kind of as an afterthought, he added, "She's so incredibly wonderful! You're just going to love her!"
Mom laughed and said, "He loves her, all right."
Dad said, "Fine. You just never know, with the Balance." He'd sounded almost relieved.
Win had wondered a little about the comment. Since Dad tended to be skeptical about his career in the Balance, he hadn't worried about it.
Now he understood.
After a few moments, Sarasvati separated herself from Diana's embrace. "Diana, thank you for your acceptance. I truly hope we will be able to be good friends from now on."
"Me, too," Diana murmured as she returned to her seat.
Sarasvati said, "And Win, my hope is the same with you. I had originally thought not to mention my relationship with Ra to you. Then this opportunity was presented to me, and I realized that Goddess had brought us together for a reason. I hope you can accept that I feel nothing but respect and the affection of a friend toward your father. He did what he needed to do, and our lives are both better for it."
He nodded. "I'm glad to hear you say that, and I appreciate knowing what happened." He wondered if Dad would be willing to tell him the rest of the story now. He hoped so.
Sarasvati adjusted her position on the chair and smiled ruefully. "And now, I find I'm a bit embarrassed. Here I demanded to meet with both of you this morning on a matter of some urgency, and then I took up all this time with historical reminiscences that had little or nothing to do with the subject."
"You wanted to talk about something else?" Diana asked.
"We need to talk about something else," she said, her manner solemn. "Diana, I hope it doesn't offend you, but we've been researching your background ever since Goddess announced that you're an Adept."
Diana's eyes narrowed. "My background? You mean about my mom and all?"
"Yes. We needed to understand whether your magickal abilities came to you somehow from your parents."
"Well, they're sure not from my mom! Unless there's such a thing as negative magick, where you visualize something and it doesn't come true."
Sarasvati shook her head. "I don't think so, although I see why you'd say that."
Win felt a nasty surprise coming. What did Sarasvati know about Diana's childhood that he didn't?
"So you already knew about my childhood when you came here?"
"A bit, but really not very many of the details. I was looking more at your parents, and whether they had magickal ability."
"My parents? You know who my dad is?" Diana gripped Win's hand tightly.
"Yes, Diana. That's why we're having this conversation today."
Diana shook her head. "Don't tell me! I don't want to know!"
"I have to, Diana."
"No!" She jumped up and paced across the room. At the end, she turned and looked back. Her face was wet with tears. "He never cared that I existed. I refuse to listen to anything about him!"
"I'm sorry, but you simply must let me finish."
"I thought you wanted to be my friend! Why is it so damn important I know which football player it was?"
Win was lost. "Football player? What are you talking about?"
She turned on him furiously. "Mom was a cheerleader, okay? She dated the football players. I know, I saw pictures. So, no big mystery where I came from!"
"Except you're mistaken," Sarasvati said quietly. "Your father is someone entirely different." From the look on her face, the High Priestess would have preferred it if Diana's father had been a football player.
Realization slowly dawning in her face, Diana crossed the room. She sank back onto the couch. "Janus? Are you telling me my father is Janus?"
**
"The timing makes sense," Dee muttered, ignoring the other two. "Last night Janus shows up. This morning Sarasvati insists on telling me about my father." She got up again and went to the window where she stared out, seeing nothing.
"We're even built alike. Blobby, prone to fat, big and clunky instead of petite and dainty. We've both got these already-full-of-nuts-for-the-winter chipmunk cheeks." She pressed her cheek against the glass, feeling its chill. "My father..."
"Yes, Diana. Janus is your father," Sarasvati said, her voice softer and more gentle than Dee had ever heard it.
"Does he know about her?" Win asked. "He didn't seem to, last night." He sounded subdued, too.
"I'm not sure how much he knows, but he's a smart man. I'm sure he'll realize the truth very soon. That's why I felt this conversation was so urgent."
Without turning around, Dee asked, "But why? I mean, I guess I'm glad you're the one to tell me rather than him, but I don't see why it matters. He may be my father biologically, but that's it."
"To be honest," Sarasvati said, "I felt you needed a chance to decide what kind of relationship you want with him."
That made her turn toward them. "None!" She almost shouted the word. "I don't want any kind of relationship! I've lived this many years without a father. I don't need one now."
Win said, "Wait a minute. The Balance should have known about Diana all along. Didn't Janus tell anyone about the pregnancy? Or didn't he know, himself?"
"He knew about the pregnancy. I've been able to determine that much." Sarasvati looked and sounded disgusted. "After Luna's death, he left the Balance on very bad terms. He renounced his Mage status and simply disappeared. So no, he didn't inform anyone. I didn't even realize he was still alive until recently."
The word Mage grabbed Dee's attention. "Janus was already a Mage before he left the Balance? How old was he?"
Sarasvati thought for a moment. "Twenty-two or thereabouts."
Twenty-two? Dee had always assumed her father was sixteen or seventeen. High school age. Too young to face the responsibilities of being a father.
Twenty-two was a totally different story. The too- young excuse no longer worked.
Janus wasn't the too-sure-of-himself but nonetheless somewhat charming man he'd appeared to be last night.
Janus was scum.
Win expected more of a reaction from Diana. Tears possibly, or more of the anger she'd shown earlier. Instead she almost seemed not to care, yet he knew her childhood was still a raw wound.
For himself, he was horrified that the man had ever been allowed to become a Mage. Mages were expected to live up to centuries-old moral standards, none of which would allow them to even consider walking away from a pregnant teenager.
Diana said, "You're right, Sarasvati. I needed to know all this. I doubt Janus will show any more interest in me now than he has all along, but I'll be prepared in case he does."
"May I ask what you plan to do if he does?"
"I'll tell him he's twenty-some years too late, and to leave me the hell alone." Her incredible green eyes flashed, showing the anger she was otherwise controlling.
Sarasvati's nod showed her satisfaction. "I must say I'm glad of that. I don't trust that man."
Diana pressed her lips into a thin line. "Neither do I. I know you're busy and need to go. But before you do, could I ask you something? I'll be quick."
"Of course. What is it?"
"How do I go about learning to scry?"
Win wasn't sure whether he or Sarasvati was more surprised by Diana's question. "There are year-long courses on scrying," he told her.
"Win's right," Sarasvati said. "You'll probably learn more quickly than that, given how strong your Sight is. Still, I can't explain even the basics in less than a full day."
Diana shook her head impatiently. "You don't understand, either of you. You have jobs to do, important jobs. I don't. And Carla is missing, probably dead. I just...I just feel I should be doing what I can to find her, that's all."
Sarasvati thought for nearly a minute. "Well, I suppose you could try reading one of the introductory texts on scrying. You'll need a mirror..."
Win visualized his dresser at home, and the scrying mirror he'd abandoned in the back of the top drawer. "Grandma had a scrying mirror made for me years ago." He gave the push and it appeared in his hand. "You could practice with it, if you'd like."
Diana's smile lit up the room. "I would. Thank you."
**
Dee studied the scrying mirror after Win and Sarasvati left. It was a beautiful piece of art. The mirror itself was an oblong about five inches across and seven inches high. The surface was black glass.
The mirror was surrounded by a narrow pewter frame. The corners of the frame were decorated with what appeared to be vines. On the right side of the frame was a back view of a naked woman - presumably Goddess - reaching up toward the branches of a flowering tree.
Dee laughed at that. Goddess wasn't the least bit shy and retiring. If the artist had consulted Her, She would have demanded full-frontal nudity, and no discreet scarves or flowers covering body parts, either.
The black glass wasn't like anything Dee had seen before. Its surface reflected some light, and she could see bits of color. Some of the bits of color looked to be an inch or more below the surface of the glass. Since the whole mirror wasn't an inch thick, that had to be an optical illusion.
Not that the details of what the mirror looked like mattered. She was focusing on that because it was easier to think about than to contemplate what she was going to do next.
Invite a Sight dream.
Or would it be a Sight dream if she was awake? She didn't even know the proper terminology for this supposed gift of hers!
Okay. Time to stop stalling.
The book Sarasvati had recommended was on the computer. She skimmed through the first few chapters and found more generalities than anything else. Eventually, though, it got down to business.
Getting ready for a scrying session was apparently critical. She needed to ensure privacy and quiet. Then she should ritually bathe and dress in loose clothing. At that point, the book advised performing a simple ritual with candles, asking Goddess to help her interpret whatever visions she might have.
Oh, brother! Exactly what Dee wasn't in the mood for now, nor would she ever be in the mood for.
She was supposed to have a notebook handy to record her visions, too. Except why wouldn't she remember every detail about them, just the way she remembered every detail about her Sight dreams?
Why the heck did she have to jump through all these hoops? Her Sight couldn't keep quiet when she was asleep. It shouldn't be that hard to get it to work while she was awake.
Okay, okay. Maybe they'd start talking about the actual process of scrying eventually. She'd skim more of the book.
Here was something. Looking in the scrying mirror wasn't like looking at herself in a regular mirror. She was just supposed to leave the scrying mirror flat on the table and look into it that way.
That was interesting, so she started reading more carefully again. Within a few pages, the book started talking about how her first visions would appear. She'd probably just see things like clouds first.
Okay, maybe so. But then the book told her how to interpret the color of the clouds and the direction of movement. Red had to do with anger, white with good, and clouds moving up meant yes, and moving down meant no.
Forget this garbage!
If that was all the use this scrying mirror was going to be, she'd give the darn thing back to Win.
She picked up the midnight-blue velvet bag and started to slide the mirror into it. But then she had a thought.
Up to now, she'd been successful at every type of magick she'd tried almost immediately. Her Sight was apparently much more accurate and detailed than people in the Balance were used to. Maybe she'd be able to scry without following all these silly rules.
It was worth a shot.
The trick to doing magick was visualizing the result clearly, then giving the push to make it real. Dee wanted to apply that principle here, but how could she form a mental picture of a place she didn't know?
Well, what if she visualized Carla? Okay so far, but what was the result she was aiming at?
Finding her.
Okay. She'd give that a try.
She formed a picture in her mind of Carla's beautiful long red hair, and her skinny-mini body topped off with killer boobs. She added the question, "Where is Carla right now?" to her visualization.
The scrying mirror showed only the same random bits of color and light. Then she pushed.
Flecks of brightness flitted around the mirror. More colors appeared, and more individual flecks.
A brilliant flash left Dee half-blind.
When her eyes adjusted, the random flecks of color and light no longer appeared in the mirror.
Something else did.
Something Dee couldn't identify.
She squinted. The mirror showed an irregular flat surface, grayish in color.
Were the irregularities perhaps stones?
Maybe. Okay, what else could she see?
Some darker areas that might be dirt. Water puddled in a few places. That meant she was looking at the ground, and it wasn't as flat as she'd thought. It was slightly sloped to the left.
Just at the left edge of what the mirror showed, she saw some greenery. A shrub, maybe?
The right edge showed a flat dark-gray surface that might be asphalt.
The scrying mirror seemed to be telling her Carla was in a ditch off the side of the road somewhere. Could that possibly be true?
Even so, how could Dee possibly find Carla from that?
**
Win paused outside his office to empty his mind of the amazing things he'd learned this morning. Those things were personal and couldn't be allowed to interfere with his job as Guardian Pro Tem of this region. He had a responsibility to each and every citizen, and he intended to fulfill that responsibility.
He called Geb as soon as he sat down.
Geb answered right away. "Good morning, Win."
"Good morning. Sorry I'm late."
Geb held his hand up. "No need to apologize. Guardians set their own work schedules. In any case, I know the High Priestess planned to speak with you and Diana this morning."
"You know about..." He didn't finish the question, not sure if Diana would want Geb to know.
"Yes. Sarasvati brought the matter to the Council's attention, as was only appropriate. We regret we were not notified of Diana's birth at the time. She would have had a much easier time of it."
Win knew that was true. Diana would have been taken in and raised as a foster child by one of the Strongholds. She would have learned about Goddess and the Balance in a completely natural fashion, and her magickal abilities would have been encouraged from an early age. It would have been great.
But it hadn't happened that way, so there was no point even thinking about it. As Diana had pointed out earlier, he had a job to do.
He asked, "What do I need to do first? Something to protect the region, I expect."
Geb nodded. "Do you know anything about Watchers?"
"I've heard the term from Grandpa." He tried to pull together the various comments into something coherent, but it was hopeless. He shook his head. "That's it, I'm afraid. Am I missing some training or something?"
Geb chuckled. "Learning to be a Guardian involves a lot of on-the-job training. Normally, though, you would have started out as a vacation replacement for a healthy Guardian. He would have had the region well under control, and could have simply turned everything over intact and functioning. Your job would have been much more simple."
"Oh, okay." That made him feel less like he'd been caught without his homework done.
"Watchers are wonderful little entities," Geb said. "They're very simple, really. They just watch the area they're told to, and inform you if something changes."
"If something changes? But things change constantly."
"Right. That's the amazing part. They can tell which kinds of changes are unimportant and which ones might be important."
"How can they do that? And what are they, anyway? You called them entities."
"The answer to both of your questions is that they're magickal. They aren't alive, nor do they have material substance, but they exist, nevertheless. Their existence is another example of the combination of your magick and that of Bedrock being greater than either magick separately."
He thought about that. "Like how the Barrier got stronger simply because I linked with Bedrock."
Geb nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! We'll get into the creation of Watchers in a bit, but we need talk about the way they're used first. With a region this size, you'll want five Watchers, one in the center of the region, and one at each corner. Each Watcher covers part of the region, partially overlapping with the territories of other Watchers. The Watchers at the corners of your region will overlap with Watchers from other regions, and vice versa. That way, we have some amount of double coverage in case of problems."
"What happened to Guardian Gianni's Watchers?"
"They disintegrated when you and Bedrock linked yesterday," Geb explained. "All Watchers are specific to the Guardian/Bedrock combination that created them. But even before you linked with Bedrock, Gianni's Watchers were unusable. Without his magick, Gianni was unable to communicate with them."
How could Geb sound so calm about all this? "So this region is completely unprotected, except for the Barrier around the Stronghold?"
"Not completely. Remember the Watchers from other regions? Even normally, they cover parts of this region. As soon as we realized the situation here, we contacted the Guardians in those regions and had them temporarily extend the range of their border Watchers."
That rang a bell. "I remember Grandpa mention doing that when the Stronghold in California blew up."
"Right." Geb's smile was solemn. "In fact, he ended up adding two extra Watchers to handle those areas. They'll be in use until the new Stronghold is ready."
If a region as small as the state of Rhode Island needed five Watchers, Grandpa's region - Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Nevada, and part of Montana - must need a huge number of them.
But that wasn't important right now. "So, the region's at least partially protected now."
"Yes, but your own Watchers will do a better job, since they'll be created expressly for the area they'll Watch." Geb smiled. "I'm sure you still have questions about how they work and what they do. The best way to answer those questions is to let you experience it all first-hand."
That meant... "You mean by creating one?"
"That, and discovering how it communicates with you after it's been created. To begin with, let's decide on the exact placement of each Watcher. Switch to region view on one of your monitors."
Win glanced around the room. This office didn't have as many monitors as Grandpa's did, and only one right on the console. "I'll use this one," he told Geb as he typed the command.
The view changed to one that looked like a map. There were on-the-screen buttons for zooming in or out, as well as for scrolling in any direction.
"All right. It's traditional to have one Watcher located right above each Stronghold. Zoom in a level or two until you see the Stronghold symbol on the screen."
It only took one level of zoom before Win saw a tiny safe symbol along the south coast of Aquidneck Island, the island where Newport was located. "Okay, got it."
"Right-click the mouse right on that spot and choose Create Watcher from the menu."
He did. "It wants me to name it."
"You can name Watchers anything. You'll want to instantly recognize them by name, though, so I always suggest using their location in their name somehow."
"Like Newport-Watcher?" Win asked.
Geb nodded. "That would be fine."
He typed in the name and clicked Okay. A little 'W' with a circle around it appeared superimposed on the safe symbol.
"Now, let's move to the northwest corner of your region."
Win just stared at the monitor where Geb's image appeared. "You mean I just created a Watcher?" He couldn't help being disappointed. He loved the rush of doing magick, and this felt about as magickal as surfing the web.
Geb shook his head, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Win. I didn't explain the whole process. Right now, we're just doing the groundwork in the system, letting it know where the Watchers will be and what they'll be called. You'll create them a bit later."
"Oh. Okay." He probably should have realized that.
"It suddenly occurs to me," Geb said with a frown, "that I may be assuming you know things about the system that you don't. For example, that there's a large magickal component to the system."
"I know that. I don't know much about what's done with magick and what with regular computer technology, though."
Geb chuckled. "Few of us do. It works, and works well, and that's all that matters to all but the computer geeks among us. Now, on to the northwest corner of your region."
His region.
Would he ever tire of hearing it referred to that way?
**
"And that's it," Geb said, a couple of hours later. "You've located and named all five Watchers. Take a break for lunch and when you come back, you'll actually create them."
"I'm not hungry," Win said quickly. Only after the words were out of his mouth did he realize that Geb was probably tired. "But if you'd like a break, that's okay."
Geb just laughed. "Oh, how I remember being young and energetic! Since you're doing the work today, if you're not tired, we can press on."
"I'm fine." Even if he was nearly exhausted, he'd be tempted to continue. Doing something new with magick was always a thrill.
Geb nodded. "All right. We've talked a bit about how your magick and Bedrock's magick are complementary. Bedrock's is tied in with the region and with Earth itself. That's why things like the Barrier and Watchers are possible. But Bedrock's magick is quite static and unchanging, very much like Bedrock itself. It requires Mage magick to turn that into something active."
As Win listened to Geb's explanation, he remembered how Bedrock had communicated yesterday, before they linked. Even simple concepts had taken both time and effort to express. "My link with Bedrock is magick, too, isn't it?"
"We think so. Mage Llyr is studying that. Incidentally, I assume he's contacted you?"
Win sighed. "Yes. He wants us to do a lot of experimenting, and we don't have time for that." Nor was Diana interested in cooperating, which he wouldn't mention.
"Not at the present time, certainly. Perhaps later. Incidentally, I suggested he wait a week or so before contacting you, but you know these academic types." He shook his head.
"All right, back to the job at hand. Bedrock knows how to create Watchers, but can't do it without your assistance. What you'll want to do is visualize the location and name of a Watcher and then ask Bedrock to create it."
"That's it?" It seemed too simple.
"Basically, yes. But doing joint magick with Bedrock - or another person, for that matter - can be tricky. First, your visualization has to be even more solid than usual. This is especially true with Bedrock because its mind isn't like yours. It can't fill in the blanks of a fuzzy visualization, so to speak, like your own mind can and does."
"The other tricky part is that it takes Bedrock quite a few seconds to create a Watcher. In addition, you can't control the exact moment when Bedrock gives the push to make it real. This means you have to hold the visualization at its peak of accuracy for much longer than when doing normal magick."
Honesty made Win admit, "Grandpa had me practice doing magick with him a few times."
Geb nodded. "Good. How did you do?"
"Pretty good when he held the visualization and I did the magick." He wished he could leave it right there, but he couldn't. "Not so good when I held the visualization."
"Not a surprise, Win. That's asking a lot of your mind-control."
Great. So in order to protect his region, he had to do exactly the kind of Mage magick he'd been worst at during training. Maybe he should have taken a break earlier when Geb offered one.
Geb's smile was sympathetic. "How long has it been since you tried?"
He thought back. "Maybe close to a year." He'd always thought it was strange that Grandpa had them try it a few times and then dropped the idea. Usually Grandpa was relentless about making Win practice new skills until they were mastered.
"You've matured considerably over the past year, Win. It may be easier now, but still it might help to take a few minutes to clear your mind before getting started."
Right. Sit here for a few minutes and think about failing. That was a good way to relax!
He shook his head. "No need. Which Watcher should I start with?" Asking that way made it sound like he had at least a little confidence.
"The one over your Stronghold. That's always the first one you want to create. And I'll tell you what. I've never been any good at doing tricky things while someone else is watching. I'll disconnect for now, and you can give me a call when you're ready for the next step."
The monitor blanked before Geb had a chance to see what had to be an incredibly grateful look on Win's face.
**
[Where?] Bedrock asked, some amount of time later.
Damn! This was the third time they'd tried, and this time Win had really thought he had the visualization set solidly in his mind.
He could probably do better if Diana was linked with him. Having her in his mind made him feel steadier, more sure of himself.
Only wasn't that a copout? Wasn't he really hoping Diana would do the visualization for him? Visualization seemed to be completely natural to her, not the result of years of training, like it was for him.
The thing of it was, he knew she'd do it. She might not be willing to devote her life to Goddess, but she was wholeheartedly supportive of his career. If he needed help being a Guardian, she'd help him and never look down on him for asking.
For exactly that reason, he wouldn't ask. He was the Guardian Pro Tem, and it was his job to create these Watchers. He'd try again.
He'd do the visualization differently this time. He'd been visualizing the zoomed-in region view map with the little Watcher symbol. What if he visualized the actual place where the Watcher would be? Or better yet, the view the Watcher might have.
He'd received pictures from Bedrock of his whole region earlier today, so he called to mind an aerial view of the Stronghold. It was nice and detailed, so all he had to do was hold it long enough for Bedrock to do its stuff.
[Bedrock, please try again to create Newport- Watcher.]
[Will.]
Pressure. They'd gotten this far before.
The pressure intensified. It should be painful. Yesterday, it would have been. Today, somehow, it felt right.
Just heavy. Like Bedrock itself was inside Win's head with him, and Win's brain was being compressed.
[Done.]
The pressure disappeared. They'd done it!
Win reached for the phone to call Geb. Before he could press the redial button, the display on the monitor next to him changed to a zoomed-in view of the region map showing the Stronghold.
A mechanical voice announced, "Newport-Watcher reports unconscious female 0.9 meters north-northeast from northeast corner of Stronghold Barrier."
Was this for real?
Or was his brand-new Watcher malfunctioning?
Dee picked up the scrying mirror, ready to smash it against the wall. Why wouldn't it show her something useful?
She'd been trying now for hours, and all she ever got was that same image of the side of a road somewhere. She didn't know if the image meant anything, or even if she was interpreting what she saw accurately. So much of it was shades of gray.
Even if it was a ditch along a roadside, that didn't help find Carla. It could be any ditch on any roadside anywhere on Earth.
Maybe Sarasvati had been right. Maybe Dee needed some training before her Sight would be very useful.
[Diana!] Win's mental voice vibrated with excitement. [Carla's alive!]
[She is? How do you know?] Oh, she hoped he was right.
[She's here. Well, right outside the Barrier. But she's badly injured.]
Her dream had been accurate, then. [What do we do next? Bring her inside for Heal...]
No, they couldn't. Back at Ocean Magick, they'd brought an injured woman into the Stronghold. Shiva had used her to transport inside, and he'd nearly destroyed them all.
[Maybe someone could go out and Heal her?] Dee asked.
[The Council has a new set of procedures for a case like this,] Win told her. [I extend the Barrier. Then someone goes out and casts two magick circles around Carla. Bedrock strengthens those circles, making them even stronger. Then she's brought directly to the Ritual Ground, and Goddess's protection is added. She's moved to the Healing Cave after that and the Healers can work on her.]
Dee hadn't heard of the Healing Cave before, but the rest of it made sense. [Who goes out to get her?]
He didn't answer right away, and she realized why. The Guardian's lifemate was supposed to also be the Priestess of the Stronghold. [It's supposed to be me, isn't it?]
His admission was reluctant. [Yeah. Because that way we could be linked and Bedrock's protection could be added easily. Sarasvati's talking with Geb about how else we can do it, though.]
[Could I do it? I know I'm not a Priestess...] For the first time, she regretted that fact.
[Of course you could! All you'd have to do would be to cast the magick circles, and you don't have to be a Priestess for that.]
[But I don't know how to cast magick circles. Could I learn right now?]
[Sure. Basically, you just visualize putting a protective sphere around her. You walk all the way around her so the circle covers her completely, including above her and below her.]
[I don't have to say anything?] If she had to pray to Goddess, she was sunk.
[Not really. Grandma sometimes does special invocations to Goddess or things like that, but it's not required.] He paused for a moment. [So you'll do it? We'd have to stay linked, you know.]
She sighed. [I know. But maybe you could ask Bedrock not to send you a lot of data while we're linked.]
[No problem. How about linking now, while I explain this to Geb and Sarasvati?]
[Sure.]
She pushed aside her fears and slipped into his mind.
**
A few minutes later, Dee opened the front door of Ocean Magick and looked outside. The scene looked just like it had on Win's monitors.
She stepped outside and went down the two front steps onto the fieldstone path. Looking at the carefully- manicured grounds, she realized Ocean Magick must have a staff of gardeners. Was she supposed to supervise them, or was that something Mrs. Gilliam did? She'd ask about that later, she decided, following the path to the driveway.
The driveway curved toward the road, joining the drive that led into the garages partway there. A line of tall shrubbery shielded the house from the road. Actually, she guessed estate was a more appropriate word than house.
In addition to what she saw with her own eyes, she could see what Win saw by looking at his monitors. She also could use Win's tie with Bedrock to sense that the Barrier had been expanded a good ten feet along this edge of the property. Carla lay, unmoving, half a dozen car-lengths to the right of the entrance.
She winced at her first close-up view of Carla. She'd known she'd been abused horribly, but all that blood! Her injuries... Dee couldn't stand to think about them and how they'd been inflicted.
She squatted next to Carla and reached out to touch her, to reassure her that help was on its way. But no. With such massive injuries, even a touch might do harm. Instead, she whispered, "Carla, I'm sorry for every awful thought I ever had about you."
Carla's eyes opened. "Please...no more..." Her voice was barely a croak.
"You're safe now, Carla," Dee told her. "You're back at Ocean Magick."
As if Dee hadn't spoken, Carla struggled to turn over. She shrieked as she put weight on a visibly-broken arm. She sagged to the ground, like a balloon slowly losing its air. Dee could only hope she'd fainted.
[Cast the circles quickly,] Win advised.
Easy for him to say. He'd been casting magick circles for a decade or more.
But Win wasn't out here. This was Dee's job.
She held her arm outstretched toward Carla, visualizing a sphere of protection forming an inch outside of Carla's body. Dee walked in a circle around her, making sure that the sphere - the magick circle - covered Carla completely, leaving no hole where evil could pass through.
Once the sphere surrounded Carla completely, Dee visualized a stream of power flowing into it, making it impermeable except to air.
Only then did she notice where they were. Carla lay in a ditch by the side of the road. The ground sloped slightly. Shrubbery was off to the left.
This was what Dee had seen in the scrying mirror.
[You saw her in the mirror?] Win asked.
[No. Just the surroundings.] She suddenly realized, [Like I was in the position where she is. But I couldn't tell where this place was.]
That had been at least a couple of hours ago. This poor woman had lain here all that time, naked and badly injured, in a chill wind that made Dee wish she'd worn a parka. It was a wonder Carla hadn't died from exposure!
Quickly, Dee cast a translucent pink sphere, an inch outside the first one, and poured power into it, also. She filled both spheres full of buoyant air to cushion Carla, and floated them a few inches off the ground.
Next, she had to bring Carla inside. [Can I transport her? I'm afraid moving her any other way would be terribly painful.]
Win asked, "Can Diana transport Carla to the Ritual Ground?"
Through Win's eyes, Dee saw Sarasvati blink. "Diana knows how to transport?" A moment later, Sarasvati added, "Actually, that would be ideal. Give me a minute and I'll meet her at the door to the Priestess's Chamber. Oh, and Win, bring your athame and join me there, too." Robe flapping behind her, she hurried out of Win's office.
[You heard that, didn't you?] Win asked.
[Yes. I don't know where the Priestess's Chamber is, though.]
[It's next to the Ritual Ground. It's where the Priestess prepares for rituals. The Guardian, too, sometimes.] The excitement she felt in his mind upped a notch as he imagined himself a critical part of an important ritual.
Just when she thought she'd need to ask explicitly, Win showed her an image of a plain rock corridor with an open doorway at the end. Sarasvati stood in the doorway. [Is that clear enough?] he asked.
[It's great, thanks.] She spread her arms and let them rest on the surface of the outer magick circle. It wasn't exactly solid, but she could feel a slight resistance that told her where the magick circle began.
Next, she visualized herself, along with Carla and her magick circles, in front of the doorway where Sarasvati stood. She gave the push to make it real.
And there she was, standing in front of Sarasvati.
"Come in, Adept," Sarasvati stood back and held the door open while Dee floated Carla's sphere inside. Sarasvati shut the door behind them. "I must say I'm impressed! Your transport was smooth and accurate, and you're handling the magick circles very naturally."
"It feels pretty natural - of course, I'm linked with Win and Bedrock, so I have practically limitless power." But then she realized they weren't linked. Win must have closed the link after she and Carla transported successfully. She was doing this part on her own!
Sarasvati smiled. "Still, it's impressive. Now, I'm sure you haven't been in a Priestess's Chamber before. This is where Priestesses prepare for ritual."
The Priestess's Chamber was a small room with rough rock walls and floors, the same gray as Bedrock. Most of the wall space was filled with nondescript cupboards and cabinets of various sizes, some of varnished wood and some looking like the old fashioned metal cabinets Dee remembered from one particularly ugly apartment she'd lived in as a child. A couple of the doors stood ajar. One corner of the room held a small sink, and there was a door in the opposite corner.
Sarasvati glided to a table in the middle of the room where an ornate green glass bowl and a few candles stood. "Diana, it saddens me, but I need to exclude you from the preparations for this ritual. Normally, one who hasn't dedicated his or her life to Goddess wouldn't even be allowed in the Priestess's Chamber, but I didn't think that would be appropriate in this case."
"I would have understood."
"Perhaps, but..." She sighed. "I so deeply wish I had more time to spend with you right now. I feel confident that, given some uninterrupted time, we could solve this problem that keeps you from fully accepting Goddess into your life."
Dee was just as glad Sarasvati was busy. Her problem with Goddess couldn't be explained away. But she couldn't say that, so she changed the subject. "If you don't need anything more from me, I'll go back upstairs."
"You won't even attend the ritual?"
"I can't, can I?"
"Certainly, you can. Our purpose here today is threefold. We wish to give thanks to Goddess for Carla's return, to ask Her to cleanse Carla of evil, and to ask for Her assistance in Healing Carla. I expect you can agree to some extent with all three."
Dee bit her lip. Those things all sounded reasonable on the surface. Was she missing something? "You're right. I...um, I don't go along with how you people worship Goddess and all, but I'm certainly glad Carla's back, and I want her to be Healed."
"I'm pleased, Diana. I must warn you, however. Worshipping Goddess is a large part of what we do in any group ritual. You needn't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable, but we ask that you respect our beliefs and practices. The decision is yours to make, but I know it would mean a lot to Win for you to be there."
It would. She knew that, too. "All right. Do I need to change into a ritual robe?"
"It's not necessary. Goddess will understand." Sarasvati's smile was gentle and encouraging. She gestured at the door in the far corner. "You can use this door into the Ritual Ground."
Dee took a deep breath, gave a mental command to open the door, and entered the Ritual Ground.
What would the ritual be like?
Would she have to do anything?
Well, she knew one thing for sure. She wasn't going to worship Goddess!
**
This was a serious occasion.
Win kept reminding himself of that fact the whole time Sarasvati explained what she wanted him to do. Yes, it was a thrill to be given such an important role in ritual, but he wouldn't succeed unless he pushed his excitement out of his mind.
Well, maybe he could just push it to the back of his mind. That ought to work.
Goddess would understand he meant no disrespect.
He hoped.
**
Dee stopped just inside the Ritual Ground to get her bearings. The room was quite large, larger than the Ritual Ground at Cliff Magick, but it had the same raw stone floor and walls. It was only dimly lit, and her eyes needed to adjust before she saw the semi-circle of worshipers.
Closest to her, she recognized Sulis's dainty rear end. Ganesha, Thor, Gracie, and Mrs. Gilliam were there, too. They all knelt facing the small free-standing altar, and bent at the waist. Sulis, Thor, and Gracie had their foreheads pressed to the cold stone floor. Ganesha and Mrs. Gilliam didn't have the same flexibility, and their foreheads missed the floor by a good foot or more. None of them so much as peeked to see who'd entered the room.
Dee stood there a minute, wondering what to do. She certainly wasn't going to emulate their position. That would make it look like she was pretending to worship along with the others, and that wasn't appropriate. She wanted to show respect for their religion, though, and to participate as much as she could in the ritual.
She noticed a gap in the spacing of the worshippers. There was more room between Sulis and Ganesha than between any of the others. She'd stand there.
She looked around the room again. The walls were entirely without ornament, and from what she could see, they could easily have been in a cave deep underground.
They faced a small altar, a slab of raw stone with a flat top supported by a waist-high pedestal. The altar was empty.
The door from the Priestess's Chamber opened again, and Carla's sphere floated in. The sphere had been rotated so that she was upright, and colored from the shoulders down, so her nakedness wasn't visible. Carla's dignity seemed a bit less violated now, and Dee was grateful for that.
Win followed Carla's sphere into the Ritual Ground, and Dee realized he was the one guiding it into position. He wore an ankle-length gold ritual robe. In a sheath at his waist was his athame. His feet were bare.
He left the sphere next to the altar, then took a place next to Mrs. Gilliam at the far end of the semi- circle. He looked at Dee. [Thank you for being here, my love.] Then, in a single incredibly smooth motion, he knelt and pressed his forehead to the floor.
A couple of minutes later, the door to the Priestess's Chamber opened again and Sarasvati entered. She wore a gown - it couldn't be called a robe - of mixed silver and gold, both of which sparkled as though made of the actual metals. The gown didn't cover her arms, but a series of gold and silver bands circling each arm left little skin visible. More silver and gold adorned her hair, her neck, and her chest and throat above the gown's low neckline.
A glow lit Sarasvati from within. The glow was no creation of magick, like the pink sphere that surrounded Carla. It was a halo, and Goddess was making it appear around Her High Priestess.
Dee couldn't help wondering if Goddess was showing off in order to impress Dee with Her power. But Dee didn't question Goddess's power. She questioned something entirely different. Her goodness and Her love for Her people.
A pair of slender white candles appeared on the altar. Sarasvati gestured and they lit simultaneously. She gestured again and a silvery bell-tone rang out. "Goddess bids Her Children to rise and be welcome in this, Her most sacred place."
Everyone in the semi-circle around Dee stood. The ritual began with a fairly long spoken prayer thanking Goddess for Carla's return. It reminded Dee of church services she'd attended with Barry, where the priest said most of the prayer and the congregation chimed in at the end of each verse.
The first half dozen responses were "Goddess, we thank You," and Dee felt comfortable saying that along with the others. After that, the tone of the prayer shifted into worship and praise of Goddess, and Dee kept her mouth shut.
She was more than a little bored by the time they moved on to cleansing Carla of evil. Healer Ganesha and Sulis assisted by holding burning green candles just outside Carla's sphere. After a series of prayers, Win stepped forward and had his athame anointed with liquid from the green bowl Dee had seen earlier in the Priestess's Chamber.
Win had told her about making the ritual knife and its sheath during his final year of Mage Apprenticeship. Every step was done by hand, performed during long solitary nights spent meditating on Goddess and the privilege it was to be called to serve Her. He would use this same athame his whole life.
He moved behind the altar. Healer Ganesha and Sulis placed their candles on ledges on the nearest wall. Sarasvati handed a green Balance robe to Sulis.
[I'm going to take down the magick circles,] Win told Dee. [Can you keep Carla floating like she is now until Ganesha and Su get her to the Healing Cave?]
[Sure.] Pleased to be asked to contribute to the ritual, she carefully visualized Carla continuing to float in mid-air.
Win intoned, "As Guardian Pro Tem of Ocean Magick, I bid any evil contained in these magick circles to depart!" He wielded his athame, drawing symbols in the air - symbols that glowed as though written with fire.
He worked his way all around her sphere. The symbols continued glowing in mid-air until he'd circled all the way around her. When he'd closed the circle, the red symbols became a different set of symbols, written in molten mercury. They glowed for a long time, then faded slowly.
"Goddess, we thank You for the protection of these magick circles. Hail and Farewell!" He plunged the knife straight through the sphere, and circled around Carla again. His athame cut the circle and made the colored sphere disappear as he went.
Before the buoyancy of the sphere could dissipate, Dee gave the push to keep Carla floating in mid-air. Her body didn't even sway. Sulis immediately covered her with the green Balance robe. Healer Ganesha and Sulis moved in close on either side, as if to support her. Carla's eyes remained closed, as they had since those first moments outside.
Win placed his athame on the altar, returned to his place in the circle, and knelt. After a moment, Gracie, Thor, and Mrs. Gilliam knelt, too. Dee remained standing.
The Priestess's Door opened by itself, and Healer Ganesha and Sulis guided Carla through it. The door shut behind them, and Sarasvati proclaimed, "Goddess, we ask You to Heal Your servant Carla; to safeguard Your Healers, Ganesha, Sulis, and Sarasvati, and to allow them to dispense Your Healing to Your servant Carla. We ask You to grant Sight to Your Seers, Diana and Sarasvati; and to grant power and wisdom to Your Guardian Pro Tem, Gwynvid. We also ask that You give Your love and support to Your servant Mrs. Gilliam and Your Apprentices Gracie and Thor in this difficult time."
Sarasvati stepped in front of the altar and clasped hands with Win and Sulis. Win joined hands with Mrs. Gilliam, Mrs. Gilliam with Gracie, and Gracie with Thor. Sulis and Thor stretched around Dee to join hands, and the circle was complete.
The lighting became noon-bright. Everyone except Dee recited, "Goddess, I praise You and I thank You for Your endless guidance, forgiveness, and love. I am now and will forever be Your servant. My life is dedicated to Your cause and is Yours to command."
With that, the ritual was over.
**
Win was so charged up, he didn't even notice changing clothes and going upstairs to his office. When he got there, he knew he must have done those things, but he sure couldn't remember them. He couldn't imagine sitting down right now, so he stood behind the monitors to check them. Everything was as it should be.
[Diana? Where are you?] He missed her already.
[In the Healing Cave, adjusting the buoyancy around Carla.] Her mental voice sounded funny. It was probably because she was doing magick at the same time as they were mind-speaking.
[Can you come up to my office when you're through?]
[Is there a problem?]
There was definitely an odd note in her voice. [No problem, my love. Other than the fact that I miss you!]
She laughed in his head, and the sound tickled. [Silly! I'm on my way.]
He stood just inside the doorway, out of sight. When she finally got there, he reached out, grabbed her by the waist, and swung her around the room. "Wasn't that thrilling?"
"Put me down, you crazy fool!"
Instead, he pulled her into a hug and gave her a big smacking kiss that landed between her mouth and her cheek. Only then did he set her back on her feet.
She backed away quickly. "You wanted me to come up here so you could fly me around the room and then squeeze me to death? And you want to know if I think that's thrilling?"
"That's not what I was asking about. I meant the ritual. Wasn't it great?"
Her mouth opened, but no words came out.
"I mean, I know it was your first group ritual, so you don't really have anything to compare it to. But the High Priestess was just so awesome, and I got to do that cool Guardian stuff, and it was so clear that Goddess was right there with us the whole time!"
She didn't look like she agreed. He went on, "You felt it, too, didn't you? Like the air was so much purer and kind of charged with electricity or something?"
She nodded and he started breathing again. She said, "I noticed that about the Ritual Ground at Cliff Magick, too. And both Bedrock Vaults."
She wasn't smiling, though. Something was definitely wrong. "What's the matter?"
She let out a big sigh. "Oh, Win. I didn't belong there today."
He stared. "Belong where?"
"In that ritual." Her face crumpled up like she was ready to break into tears.
He took a step toward her, wanting to comfort her, but she stepped away.
"Let's sit down," she said quietly, moving toward the casual seating area at the other end of the office.
He made a mental note to get some new furniture for this office before gingerly sitting in the nearest seat to Diana. He put his hand on her thigh. "I don't understand what you mean, Diana. Why would you say something like that?"
"Because it's true!" she wailed. "I went to the ritual because I want Carla to be okay, and because I wanted to see you do your part."
His heart jumped at the reminder. So much power had flowed through his athame!
She took his hand and held it between both of hers. "But Win, that's what it was to me. A part. You had a part, like in a play, and so did Sarasvati, and so did everyone else. I know you all take it incredibly seriously, but I can't."
She stared down at their hands. "I don't even want to tell you these things, because I know they'll hurt you."
He licked his lips. "I want to know. I need to know." He wished he didn't, though.
The in-house phone buzzed, but he didn't move. This conversation was more important than anything else could possibly be.
It buzzed again, and Diana asked, "Isn't that the phone?"
He didn't have the courage to admit he was ignoring it, so he spoke. "Answer phone." The Stronghold's system did, and he said, "Mage Gwynvid here."
Thor's voice said, "Mage Gwynvid, sir, Janus is at the front door. He's asking to see Adept Diana."
Oh, Goddess! Why now?
For a second, Dee wanted to scream. Today had been way too busy and emotional. Now Janus was here. Not only that, but he must know the truth. He wouldn't ask for her otherwise.
"I'm going to mute the phone, Thor. I'll be right back." Win crossed the room and pushed a button on the console before saying, "You don't have to see him, Diana. He has no right -"
"I know that," she said. "But if I see him now, I can maybe get the whole thing out of the way for good."
He frowned. "But we were in the middle of talking about something else."
Something they couldn't possibly resolve. Talking about it more would only make Win feel worse. "That can wait. Besides, you saw Janus last night. Can you really imagine he'll give up on seeing me if I say no?"
One corner of his mouth turned up and he shook his head. "I guess not." He pushed the button again and said, "Adept Diana is with me. Please escort Janus to my office."
"Yes, sir."
Win ended the call and said, "Tell me what you want me to do."
Dee's stomach swirled and her mouth went dry. "Just be here with me, I guess."
"Sure thing." His smile calmed the worst of her butterflies. "How about sitting next to me?"
"That would help," she admitted, and joined him behind the console. He offered his hand and she grabbed it.
She watched through the open doorway as Thor and Janus approached. Just as Thor reached to knock, she said, "Thank you, Thor. Janus, come in and state your business."
Janus strode into the room, closed the door behind himself, and repositioned the visitor's chair to one end of the console. He sat, only a few feet from Dee. "My business is with you, Adept Diana, not with your mate."
"Actually, Janus," Dee said, "you have no business with either of us. I agreed to see you simply so I could tell you that."
He smirked. "Ah, but you're wrong there. And I'm here to tell you why."
She shook her head. "I'm not wrong, Janus. Simply because I'm unlucky enough to be the product of one of your wayward sperm cells doesn't mean a thing."
"I'm your father, Diana!"
"You got my mother pregnant, yes. My sixteen- year-old mother, I hasten to remind you. But you gave up the right to be called my father many years ago."
Anger distorted his face. "Svati's been talking to you, hasn't she? She's filled your mind with Balance lies about me!"
Well, Janus wasn't the only one here who was angry. "Is it a Balance lie that you walked out on my mother when she was pregnant? That you never came back, that you never helped her support me, that you didn't even tell the Balance about me to save me from growing up not knowing who or what I was?" She gulped in air to keep her fury from turning into tears. She would not cry in front of this man!
"You would have wanted to be raised by a bunch of self-important fools?" he demanded. "I did you a favor, Diana -"
"Don't call me Diana. Use my title. If that's your idea of a favor..." Her voice was shrill again, so she stopped herself mid-sentence.
Win squeezed her hand. "Diana has stated her position, Janus. You are no longer welcome here."
Janus gestured at Win with one hand. "Now, Adept, the Mage's attitude toward me I can understand. He's the product of a lifetime spent in the Balance, and a perfect example of why I didn't want you turned over to them. He's been taught to do, say, and think only what the Council and the High Priestess want him to do. I know. I was raised in that system, too."
Dee refused to give him the satisfaction of admitting it, but Janus was right about Win's upbringing and its results.
"But I would have hoped for better from my own flesh and blood. Back in my youth, in the world outside the Balance, one of the biggest insults was to accuse someone of being a tool of the establishment. Apparently, in this short time, you've become a tool of the Balance."
A tool of the Balance? Never!
He shook his head. "Too bad. I had hoped your emergence as an Adept was truly significant. I'm ashamed that any daughter of mine would make such poor use of a truly incredible talent."
He looked past Dee at Win. She felt as if she'd ceased to exist for him. "Now Mage, if you would be so kind as to tell Svati I'm here. I wish to spend some time with my old friend, Gianni."
Win reached toward the console. Dee gritted her teeth and said, "Wait a minute, Win. Janus, my behavior has nothing to do with the fact that the High Priestess and Healer Ganesha clearly dislike you. It has to do with the way you treated my mother."
"Those words would have more meaning if you said them after you heard my explanation," Janus said calmly, as though he'd expected her to change her mind.
"Explanation! What kind of explanation could possibly excuse you for using my mother as sport and then walking out when she wasn't fun anymore?"
"An explanation you won't hear if you persist in behaving like a spoiled brat!" he snapped.
Spoiled brat? She wasn't a spoiled brat!
"Mage, if you'd make that call..." he said to Win.
Win looked at Dee quizzically.
"I'm not a spoiled brat, Janus."
He looked down his nose at her. "Is that so? Are you telling me your mother didn't teach you any better manners than this? That you think it's perfectly acceptable to treat a fellow human being like dirt, not even giving him a chance to tell his side of the story?"
Dee felt like she'd been slapped. She'd been treated like dirt her whole life by people who thought that because she wasn't like them, she didn't deserve any better. She'd always sworn she wouldn't treat anyone else that way.
[Is that what I'm doing? Acting like a spoiled brat?] she asked Win.
[No, of course not. But would it hurt to let him tell his side of the story? I know you're curious about what happened. I am, too. Letting him tell his story doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with him.]
Dee realized he was right. "Janus, I guess I'm being unfair. I'd like to know what happened between you and my mom. I can't promise anything..."
"Just listen," Janus said. "That's all I can ask."
She nodded. "I can do that."
He smiled broadly. "Excellent. Now, before we get to your mother, have you been told about Luna?" The smile was gone now, replaced by a dramatically tragic expression, as if he still mourned Luna.
Win said, "We know she was your lifemate and Sarasvati's sister, and that she died during a training mission as a Mage Apprentice."
"The bare facts, I see. I'm sure they didn't tell you about the mission the Council sent her on."
Dee shook her head. "No. Why? Was it important?"
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Primarily as a demonstration of how out-of-touch the Council was, even all those years ago. Now, I don't know how much recent history either of you know, but the seventies in this country were a carryover and an extension of the sixties in many ways. Groups devoted to revolutionary action sprung up all over the place. Most never did anything but talk about the evil capitalists, but some did. They robbed banks, blew up buildings, and in general, created whatever mayhem they could."
[Have you ever heard about this?] she asked.
Win answered out loud. "I've heard a little about that. In Mage training."
Janus's eyes widened. "I'm impressed. I would have wagered that training hadn't changed since my day. In any case, the training mission the Council sent Luna on was to monitor one of these groups. She was supposed to pretend to be a new recruit and report back on their plans."
Dee's stomach tensed. "Did they discover who she was?"
All pretense disappeared. "No one knows for sure, but I assume so. I awoke on the other side of the world to an unearthly mental scream from her that haunts me to this day. I spoke to her and there was no answer. When I tried to transport to her, I couldn't find her. Finally, in desperation, I went to Castle Magick and demanded some answers. They claimed they'd heard from her only hours earlier, and that all was well."
He leaned forward and banged his fist on Win's console. "Do you know what those fools said to me? They said Luna was probably angry and was refusing to mind- speak!"
Win frowned in puzzlement. "But if you couldn't even find her..."
"Exactly! Lifemates can always find each other! But they simply ignored that and refused to tell me where they'd sent her. We had to wait three days before we learned any more." He paused while he struggled with emotion. "That's when Ogma's Watcher found her body."
"Oh, no," Dee murmured. She'd known Luna died on assignment, but hearing the details made it seem so much more real.
He nodded grimly. "They left her in the desert, out in the open for animals to find. Which they had."
Tears filled his eyes as he turned to face Win. "Mage, I hope you never have to see the body of your lifemate like that. Looking at the horrific wounds, your only hope that she was dead before they were inflicted." His voice broke, and he lowered his head.
Win's grip on Dee's hand suddenly felt like an iron band. She glanced at him and knew he was living Janus's pain.
"That's when you left the Balance?" she asked.
He swallowed, took a deep breath, and looked up. "Not for another week or so, when I regained my sanity. By then it had become obvious that the group Luna had been monitoring had just made what they called a major statement."
"A major statement?" Win asked.
Janus nodded. "They kidnapped and killed the family of a man who owned a big factory in northern California."
"That was major, all right, but a statement?"
"That's what they called it. They announced the killings in a phone call to the Crescent City, California, newspaper, and were never heard from again."
This didn't add up. "But I thought revolutionaries wanted to overthrow the government."
Janus said, "Some probably do. These were apparently more interested in killing people. And the Council knew that!"
"They couldn't have," Win objected. "They would have known to send someone more experienced."
"Don't give them too much credit, Mage. They didn't know upfront, I'm fairly sure, but Luna's reports made it clear there was little or no ideology being discussed, and a whole lot about how to kill." He shook his head, eyes blazing with anger. "They were criminally negligent in not terminating her assignment at that point!"
Dee couldn't help imagining how she'd feel in a similar situation. Except she didn't have to imagine. The Council had sent Win to protect her, not knowing how dangerous Shiva was, or that he was on her trail. "I'm sure they were," she said. "They did practically the same thing to Win and me."
Win's head whipped around and he stared at her. "They made a mistake, Diana! They're not infallible!"
"Then they shouldn't be so intent on training people to obey their orders without questioning them." She stopped herself right there. This was neither the time nor the place to argue with Win about this issue. Instead she said to Janus, "I can see why you left the Balance after that. But what did you do?"
"The only thing I could do," he said. "I decided to find my Luna's killers and avenge her death. Since Luna's body was found in the Oregon desert east of Grants Pass, that's where I started. The leader of that gang was from a small town between there and Crater Lake..."
"That's where I was born..."
He nodded. "I met your mother while I was looking for that gang. But our romance was nothing like you've imagined. She was so sweet, so loving..." He smiled sadly and shook his head. "If it hadn't been for Barbara, I wouldn't have survived. At the time, I thought of her as a friend, almost as a younger sister."
Win objected before Dee could. "You got her pregnant, Janus."
"I know, and I had no business going to bed with someone her age, I know that." He sighed and looked down at his hands, still resting on the console. "I could say it wouldn't have happened if Barbie hadn't wanted it, and that would be Goddess's truth." He met Win's eyes. "But Mage, you know that's no excuse, and so do I. I knew it at the time."
He licked his lips and pressed them together. "Still, I couldn't resist, and I'd be lying if I said I'd ever regretted it for a single instant. Something..." He paused, searching for the right word, then shook his head. "It wasn't sex, it was... the single most profound experience of my life. Barbie felt it, too. I remember her saying later that she'd been taught all her life that sex was dirty, but that the rest of life was dirty in comparison."
Dee's insides felt shaky. It was hard to listen to Janus and not be moved by the story he was telling. At the same time, the man had abandoned her mother before Dee was born. "So why did you leave her?"
His answer was stark. "I got a solid lead on Luna's killers." A moment later, he continued, "It was a good six months later. Barbie and I had a small apartment, and I was working in the local gas station. By then, I'd nearly given up on finding the gang, and I fully intended to make my life with you and Barbie."
He looked at Dee and sighed. "I'm sorry it didn't turn out that way. What happened is that a truck pulled in one day for a fill-up. In the truck bed, I saw a weathered scrap of the flowered fabric of Luna's favorite blouse."
"Thousands of women must have worn that same fabric." Because he sounded so absolutely sincere, she spoke more harshly than she might have.
He simply nodded. "Of course, and I realized that. Still, my heart was racing a thousand miles an hour, and I studied every single thing about that pickup. And do you know what else I saw?" He stopped and waited, as if she might guess.
"Of course I don't."
"Luna's bracelet," he said, and his voice came out so choked Dee could barely understand him. "The special silver moonstone bracelet I gave her for her last birthday. It was dangling from the rear-view mirror." He waved his hand impatiently. "I know - you'll say a thousand other women had bracelets like that, but you're wrong. Just look -"
He jerked something out of his pants pocket and waved it in her face. It was a very beat-up band-type bracelet. Most of the bracelet was solid silver, with intricate designs etched on it. In the center was a round white stone, half an inch in diameter, that seemed to glow of its own accord. No wonder it was called a moonstone!
Dee swallowed. "That's beautiful."
He nodded. "And unique. As soon as I saw it, I knew I was on the track of Luna's murderers, and I couldn't let it go. Not for Barbie. Not even for you." Real regret shadowed his tear-filled eyes.
He might regret it now, but that wasn't the point. "So, you were a Mage. Going after whoever killed her shouldn't have been that tough."
Win shook his head. "He wasn't a Mage then. He'd already left the Balance."
"So?"
"Goddess bestows extra power on us when we're made Mages," Win explained. "He wouldn't have had enough power to do much on his own."
"In essence," Janus said, "I had to go after them without the aid of magick. And without the money and resources of the Balance. I left Barbie what money I could, but even at the time I knew it wouldn't be enough to last until I got back."
"You didn't go back!" she objected. She bought his story up to this point, even including going off to find Luna's killers while Dee's mom was pregnant. Now they were to the real crux of the matter, though.
He stood up, turned around, and yanked his shirt up in the back. "Take a look at my scars, Adept. If these aren't enough to satisfy you, I'll drop my pants and let you see the rest."
One quick glimpse was sufficient. There were more jagged patches of ugly white scar tissue than there were of clear skin. "What...?"
His voice was matter-of-fact. "I caught up with them. But my only fighting experience was as a Mage. Without my magick, and given they didn't believe in fighting fair, I was lucky to escape with my life. Even so, I would have died within hours if I hadn't been found."
He dropped his shirt and returned to his seat. "It was three years before I healed and got strong enough to go after them again. That time, I was smarter and went in two hours before daybreak. I got them all that time. My injuries weren't nearly as life-threatening, but still I couldn't travel for several months."
Dee didn't know what to say. Was it possible she'd been wrong about Janus?
**
Win felt Diana trembling next to him. If they'd been alone, he'd have pulled her into his arms and let her cry. Not in front of Janus, though.
Instead he said, "I want to make sure I've got the timing right. By this time, Diana was somewhere around three years old."
"I can't be sure of the exact dates, but that sounds reasonable," Janus said.
"And her mother must have been about twenty?"
"I suppose so."
"You were done getting revenge by then?"
Janus nodded. "Going after the Council would have been pointless. They were incompetent, but they intended no harm." He shook his head. "I doubt you know it, but Svati and Luna's father was on the Council at the time. I suspect his grief and sense of guilt are what killed him."
Win refused to allow himself to be distracted. He asked the question he'd painstakingly set up over the last few exchanges. "So why the hell didn't you go right back to your family and give Diana a decent life?"
Instead of the blustering excuse Win had expected, Janus chuckled sourly. "I tried, Mage. The old truck I'd taken from the gang broke down halfway to town. I must have walked ten miles in the desert heat with no water, but I finally got a ride and they let me out about a block from our old apartment."
"Don't tell me," Win said. "They'd moved."
He shook his head. "No. I went right up the two flights of stairs, knocked on our old door, and Barbie answered. I think she was happy to see me for about a second. Then she took a good look at me and decided I was down on my luck and had come back to mooch off her. Whereupon she hit me in the head with a sizzling hot frying pan and chased me out into the street."
Diana's mouth dropped open. "You came back?" She asked it as though she was afraid she'd heard him wrong, but very much hoped she hadn't.
Before he could answer, Win asked, "And that was it, wasn't it? You walked away, proud you'd done your duty. End of story."
"No, Mage. I found a shelter to stay in that night. The next day I got cleaned up and went back to the gas station where I'd been working. The old coot who ran the place gave me a hard time, but he hired me back and even paid me in cash that day so I'd have enough money to take Barbie out for a meal. But you know what I discovered when I went back to our apartment that night?"
"I bet we'd moved, hadn't we?" Diana asked. When he nodded, she said, "We moved a lot when I was a kid." She said it in such a plain matter-of-fact way that Win's heart broke even more.
His anger at Janus grew, too. Janus could have behaved differently in any of a thousand ways, and most of them would have resulted in a better childhood for Diana.
Learning to be a Mage wasn't simply a matter of learning to do magick. It was about being a responsible member of the human race, about doing the right thing for the right reasons, about refusing to accept failure. Janus had apparently given up those ideals when he left Goddess's service.
"Do you still want to see Guardian Gianni?" he asked, not caring that his voice was abrupt.
"Of course," Janus said. "But not until after Adept Diana and I finish talking." He preened in her direction.
"We're through," Diana said. She sounded as sick of Janus as Win was. Win typed a quick message to Sarasvati on his keyboard.
"Through?" Janus objected. "We've barely begun! I want to hear all about you, and you promised we'd talk about your magick sometime."
Diana shook her head. "Not today. I'm glad I heard your story, and I admit I was wrong about what happened between you and my mom. But I'm not ready to go any farther. Not yet, anyway."
Janus was visibly gearing himself up to argue, but a knock on the door interrupted him before he got started.
Win called, "Come in," and opened the door magickally.
Su stood in the doorway. "Hi. The High Priestess sent me. I'm supposed to take Janus to see Guardian Gianni."
Janus was on his feet in a flash. "Healer Sulis! What a pleasant surprise to see you again. I must say, you're even lovelier in the light of day than I realized last evening."
She giggled and batted her eyelashes madly. "How very kind of you to say so! Are you ready now, or should I come back a little later?"
Win was pretty sure she'd had her hair up earlier today. She must have taken it down and fluffed it around for Janus's benefit. There might be something different about her Balance robe, too...
Janus kissed the back of her hand like a medieval courtier and she giggled again. She couldn't actually be interested in this overweight jerk. She must simply be testing her charms on a handy target, and yanking Win's chain at the same time.
Win knew how to deal with that. He'd pretend not to notice. It wasn't like she was an untouched maiden, after all. She'd had an unending stream of boyfriends since the age of thirteen.
She wouldn't be taken in by Janus like Diana's mother had been.
**
"Bill, where are you?" Dee called a few minutes later as she entered their suite.
She found him curled up on an embroidered pillow on the sofa. The pillow had been shades of ivory. Now tufts of black and white fur had been added to the color scheme.
He squinted his eyes open at her. "Mao?" That was his I'm-sleepy-why-are-you-bothering-me mao.
"I've been missing you, Mr. Bill," she told him, sitting down next to him and starting to pet him. She loved running her fingers through his silky fur.
Petting him was particularly nice when her brain was running a hundred miles an hour in different directions. Something about the texture of his fur and the solidity of the body underneath helped her to regroup.
Today had been a tough day all around, only made tougher by that awful dream last night. Another Sight dream had proven to be accurate.
Although she hated to admit it, part of her was a little proud of that fact. From what she'd read about other Seers, they sometimes had Sight dreams or other visions that weren't true. She hadn't, so far. Even her first scrying session had been accurate, although not helpful.
She didn't know what to do about Janus. His story was so sad, and if Mom had really turned him away like that...
"Yow!" Bill complained as her fingers tangled in his fur. He stalked off.
That was a message for her. No more thinking about Janus right now. She needed to let the newness of having a father wear off before she tried to figure out what to do about him.
Instead, she'd work on her scrying. Maybe now that she knew the basic principle worked, she could find out some useful information.
She went to the antique secretary where she'd left the mirror. There she slid the mirror out of its bag and positioned it so she could see it comfortably.
What she really wanted to know was who had taken Carla and why, but that might be too complex a question to ask. She decided to start with the first part of the question and leave the rest for another time.
Based on how the mirror had answered her question earlier, she decided the exact wording of her query must be important. She'd asked where Carla was, and she'd seen what Carla could have seen from where she lay.
This time, she visualized Carla in that awful trailer with the man hovering over her. She added to that the command, "Show me who captured Carla." Then she pushed.
She was careful not to get blinded by the bright flash. The scene the mirror showed wasn't hard to understand.
The setting was Ocean Magick, a sitting room both grander and more ornately-decorated than this suite. A person who might be Guardian Gianni was sitting quietly in the background. Two people were in the foreground.
Sulis and Janus.
Win finished a set of pull-downs and looked around the small gym. The room didn't have the scuffed floors, banged-up walls, and eau-de-sweat smell he was used to from the exercise room at Cliff Magick.
Instead, it was polished perfection, just like every room at Ocean Magick except his office. Even the exercise machines looked out-of-the-box new, and were positioned at precise angles to the walls and at even distances from each other. Several of the machines were new to him, a surprise since keeping fit was both part of his calling and a personal passion.
He wished he had time for a brief tryout of every machine today, but he was Guardian Pro Tem. As Grandpa had often told him, Guardianship was a mixed blessing, with many responsibilities to fulfill. Next on his agenda was presiding at dinner. He hoped it would be a quiet, pleasant meal, with no dramatics.
He was careful, as always, to spend plenty of time on his cool-down stretches before racing through the shower and dressing. He felt much better now, and he hoped Diana had had a chance to relax, too.
He'd wanted her to stay in his office after Janus left, but she'd refused. She'd said she was too uptight to talk. He'd thought being lifemates was supposed to take care of problems like that. They shouldn't need to talk when they could simply mind-link and share their concerns directly.
It didn't seem to work like that, though. The intimacy he'd become used to over the last couple of months was fast becoming a thing of the past.
His link with Bedrock was part of the trouble, of course. When mind-linking brought with it the danger of her getting sick, he couldn't blame Diana for being leery of linking.
What worried him was that she didn't seem very bothered about the problem with Bedrock.
It was as though she was glad to have an excuse not to link.
**
Dee had hoped Sulis would be early for dinner. Then she could ask her whether the scene the scrying mirror had shown was true. Had Janus told her about Healing techniques that were forbidden by the Balance?
Instead of being early, Sulis was nearly late. She slipped into her seat just as bowls of creamy New England clam chowder were served. She took a taste and said, "Yum! With all this great food, I'm going to gain fifty pounds during this assignment. But I don't care, this is too good to miss!"
Dee set her spoon down without tasting the chowder. Sulis could safely joke about gaining weight. She ate heartily all the time and still weighed nearly nothing. Not so with Dee. The only thing that kept her anywhere near an acceptable size was being cautious of every bite she put in her mouth.
She'd work at being a proper hostess instead of eating. "How is Carla? Has there been any change since I left the Healing Cave?"
Sarasvati said, "We managed to Heal many of her injuries this afternoon. She didn't regain consciousness, and we put her deeper into stasis for the night. I anticipate that most of her injuries will Heal overnight. We won't know about her mental state until she wakes up, of course."
Ganesha took a sip of wine. "I can't really grasp how she was injured. I would have assumed she'd been beaten, but we found no fist marks nor any signs of an implement being used."
Dee's stomach turned and she was glad she hadn't eaten any soup. "The man used magick to slam her against the walls repeatedly. I saw it in a Sight dream last night."
"No wonder you were upset this morning," Sarasvati said quietly. After a moment, she turned to Sulis. "Did Janus give you any difficulty about leaving after an hour?"
Chowder slopped from Sulis's spoon onto the antique lace tablecloth. "Oh. No. Guardian Gianni got tired and Janus said he'd come back tomorrow. He and I started talking on the way to the door. That's why I was almost late."
She turned her attention to the spilled soup, trying to scoop it up with her spoon. When that didn't work, she blotted at it with her napkin. She frowned at the resulting mess and said, "I guess I made it worse."
Sarasvati's forehead wrinkled in thought and she said, "I remind you that Janus is no longer a member of the Balance. I permit him to visit Gianni out of a desire to normalize this time of Healing as much as possible. However, I must say I don't entirely trust Janus's motives. You'll want to be cautious about believing the things he may tell you."
Although Sarasvati was looking at Sulis, Dee suspected her words were intended for Dee as well.
Sulis glanced at Dee before asking, "You mean he's not Dee's father? Why would he make up something like that?"
Dee answered for Sarasvati. "He didn't make that up, Sulis. I'd imagine the High Priestess is concerned that Janus will say bad things about the Council and how the Balance is run in general."
"He didn't say anything like that to me," Sulis protested.
If that was true, Dee's scrying session had been inaccurate. Sulis's answer sounded so sincere that Dee decided her Sight had made up Janus's lecture about Healing techniques the Balance refused to sanction. So her Sight wasn't completely accurate. She wasn't sure whether that was a relief or not.
She ought to drop the whole subject of what Janus had to say about the Balance, but she couldn't. She said, "He criticized the Council in front of Win and me. He told us how the Council's incompetence led to Luna's death. Since the Council's mistakes nearly killed both Win and me a couple of months ago, I know he's right."
Ganesha's mouth dropped open in shock and Sarasvati's face hardened. Obviously, criticism of the Council was not acceptable dinner conversation.
Too bad.
**
Win cringed. Why did Diana have to choose dinner to raise a volatile issue like that?
The subject itself wasn't much of a surprise after this afternoon. She couldn't seem to accept that the Council was fallible. That was the essential flaw of any group of humans, no matter how worthy their goal. The Council did its best, as did each individual Guardian, Mage, Healer, and Priestess. That was all Goddess asked of Her servants. Why couldn't Diana see that their collective successes were worth their occasional failures?
"Enough serious discussion!" he announced, trying to sound light-hearted. "Let's play Balance History."
Su groaned. "You only want to play because you're so good at it!"
"Win's Guardian. He must ask the questions rather than answer them," Ganesha said.
"That's right! Too bad, big brother." Su laughed with obvious delight. "You'll have to find another outlet for your competitiveness."
Diana asked, "What's Balance History? Some kind of game?" She didn't seem to mind that Win had changed the subject.
"Win gives a year and a region," Sarasvati said. "Then someone answers with an event that happened that year in that region. The first person to answer correctly gets a point."
Ganesha continued, "The game is used quite extensively during training to help Apprentices learn what might otherwise seem to be dry facts. It often gets quite competitive with groups of adults."
As Thor and Gracie cleared the soup course, Win said, "We'll start with one that even Su probably knows. 1969, Cliff Magick."
Ganesha and Sarasvati smiled, but didn't answer. Su looked at both of them and asked, "You don't even know how bad I am at this game and you're willing to let me get a point?"
Diana said, "Well, I don't know the answer, so you're going to beat me for sure!"
Su shrugged. "Okay then. That's the year Grandpa stopped a race riot in Portland before it got started."
Win made the next question a little harder, and to everyone's surprise, Diana got it. She said, "I guess all that reading I've been doing helps."
After that, he varied the difficulty level. Ganesha and Sarasvati were quite equal competitors, and both Su and Diana got a reasonable number of points.
He'd always been excellent at Balance History, but now he didn't even have to think to come up with a dozen significant events in each region each year. His link with Bedrock had to be supplying all that information, but he didn't feel the data flowing into his brain. It was right there, ready to be accessed, just as Diana's thoughts and feelings were when they were linked.
That thought brought him back to his relationship with Diana. He couldn't let the distance between them keep increasing, but how could he prevent it? He certainly didn't want to be another source of pressure on Diana. She had enough of those, with her confusion about Goddess and the Balance, and now Janus.
He needed to help Diana understand he would always be there in whatever way she needed.
That was how being lifemates worked.
**
In retrospect, Dee was sorry she'd mouthed off about the Council at dinner. Not that what she'd said wasn't true. Dinner simply wasn't the right time to raise important issues.
Win had been really sweet about trying to distract everyone from her gaffe by starting that game. It probably hadn't made anyone forget what she said, but at least she hadn't had a chance to make the situation worse. She'd let him know how much she appreciated that tonight.
On the way out of the dining room, he took her hand and said, "I've found the perfect place for us to relax. Are you game?"
"Our suite, I presume?" Her smile felt strained. Win's remedy for virtually any problem was the same, and she didn't see how making love would solve anything.
He shook his head. "Not yet. Today's been a stressful day, and this'll help us unwind."
Now she was curious. She didn't remember a time since their bonding when Win had passed up a chance to make love. "Sure. Lead on."
He transported them to a spot she didn't recognize. They were outside, on a deck a couple of stories above ground level. Was this the roof of Ocean Magick?
She looked around them. It was past sunset, and there were only traces of orange and red left in the sky. The bulk of a building surrounded them on three sides. The fourth side looked out at the indigo and deeper shadows of the ocean. "This is a roof deck?" she asked.
He nodded. "It's over my office. I thought we might soak in the hot tub for a while."
Now she noticed steam rising in front of them, and redwood benches near the perimeter of the small deck.
"I don't have a bathing suit," she teased, knowing full well what his answer would be.
He shucked his clothes quickly. "Sure you do - the same one I do." He stood naked, not seeming to mind the cool breeze. "Would you like some help getting undressed?"
She laughed. "If I say yes, we'll never end up in the water." She visualized herself standing naked in the middle of the hot tub.
She gave the push, and there she was. Chest- deep in water that would be too hot if it didn't feel so absolutely heavenly. "Oh, this is wonderful. But what are you doing over there?"
He transported into the tub and pulled her onto his lap. "You're right. This is great."
After a few minutes, Win ordered, "Turn on the jets." The water began to churn like in a blender. He said, "Not that I want you to move, but you'll feel the jets more if you sit along the side across from me."
She quickly discovered he was right. One jet seemed to be aimed right at her spine, and it moved up and down. Another couple of jets turned the water around their legs into a virtual masseuse. "I could get used to this," she said, sliding down in the water so her shoulders and neck got the benefit, too.
"Anytime," he said with a crooked smile.
She adjusted her vision magickally so she could look deep into his eyes. "Win, I want to thank you for being so wonderful today. It's been a tough day for you, too, yet you've been so understanding about how I feel."
He shrugged. "You're part of me, Diana. When something hurts or troubles you, it does the same to me. I just wish I could do something other than sympathize!"
"Oh, but you do! Just knowing you were with me when Janus was there this afternoon was great. And then you fixed things at dinner, to say nothing of bringing me out here..."
She slipped further into the water and reached out with her foot. Her toes encountered Win's knee, and she aimed higher.
All of a sudden, she found herself straddling Win's lap. "Is this what you had in mind, my love?" he asked.
Maybe not earlier, but now it was.
Very definitely.
**
Dee didn't have any Sight dreams that night. Instead, she lay awake thinking about what it must have been like for Janus to lose his lifemate. She imagined looking at Win's several-days-dead body... Dead because of another one of the Council's mistakes.
No! She couldn't let that happen!
But how could she prevent it? Goddess's words from two months ago came back to her. "Mage Gwynvid will not be dissuaded from doing My work."
Dee knew that was true. It was also true that, to Win, doing Goddess's work meant doing the Council's bidding.
How did other Mages' lifemates stand it? That question reminded her of something else Goddess had said that day. "Ask Priestess Aradia how many times her lifemate bond with Guardian Ogma has enabled her to save his life."
Aradia! That's who Dee needed to talk to! She'd be able to help, and Dee felt comfortable talking to her.
Unfortunately, it was the middle of the night. Dee would have to wait until a reasonable hour to visit her.
**
Dee lasted until ten the next morning. That was only seven o'clock on the west coast where Cliff Magick was, but Aradia and Ogma were early risers. She hoped Aradia would have time to spend with her this morning.
She transported into the hall outside Aradia's small office on the training level. Aradia had a larger office next to Ogma's, but she seemed to spend more time on the training level. Besides, Dee didn't want to see Ogma if she could avoid it.
She was relieved to see light leaking out under the office door. She knocked, hoping Aradia didn't already have someone with her.
"Come in!"
She opened the door and stepped inside. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something..."
"Dee!" Aradia jumped up and hugged her. "How absolutely wonderful to see you! Come in and sit down."
She closed the door behind Dee. "Let me get you a cup of tea." Once she'd handed the mug of fragrant tea to Dee, she sat down and said, "Now, tell me, dear. As lovely as it is to see you, you're not here just for a chat, are you?"
Dee held the mug in both hands, letting the aroma comfort her. "No, not really."
Aradia's voice was quiet and reassuring. "Sarasvati tells me you've met Janus."
She nodded. "You know he's my father?"
"Yes. She told the Council after he interrupted your dinner the other evening, and Ogma shared the information with me. It must have been quite a shock for you."
"Yes, it was. I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet."
"I can see how confusing it would be. Ra brought him home a time or two when they were both Apprentices. He seemed like a nice young man."
"Did Sarasvati also tell you she told Win about being his dad's lifemate?"
Aradia pressed her lips together and nodded. "Yes. Has Win spoken to his father about it?"
"No. She told him just yesterday. With the news about Janus and then Carla being returned, yesterday was awfully hectic."
"You might want to tell Win that we didn't intentionally hide that information from him. It didn't seem particularly important, and Ra prefers it if we don't talk about his life in the Balance." The tension in Aradia's face made it clear the subject was painful for her, too.
Dee promised, "I'll tell him. I don't think he's upset about it as much as surprised."
"That's good," she said, her smile weak. "Now, dear, what did you want to talk about?"
She decided to be blunt. "How do you live with knowing Ogma could get killed at any time?"
Aradia's mouth formed an oh, and she sighed. "Ah, yes. That's a difficult question, and a very relevant one. Unfortunately, the answer that works best for me probably won't help you much."
"What's that?" Any answer was welcome at this point.
"I believe implicitly in Goddess," she said. "I know She has our best interests at heart always, and that She does Her best to make sure we're prepared for the challenges life throws at us."
Aradia had been right. Dee believed just the opposite. She believed Goddess enjoyed manipulating people, and that She didn't care whether or not they succeeded.
But she wasn't here to have a theological discussion. "But Aradia, it's not Goddess who sends Mages on assignments without understanding the situation. It's the Council."
"On Goddess's behalf," Aradia reminded her. "And the Council does its best to make appropriate assignments. They simply don't always have the proper information available ahead of time."
"I know. But Janus told us what happened with Luna. She was only an Apprentice, and they sent her into an incredibly dangerous situation."
Aradia paused for a moment before saying, "There's more to what happened with Luna than is generally known. After...after her body was found, I tried scrying back to see what had happened. I wasn't able to get the complete picture, but it was clear that Luna was not acting the part of the innocent young recruit, as she had been told to. She...well, she'd been inciting the group to take action."
"She had? That was crazy!"
Aradia nodded, but she seemed very matter-of-fact about it. "I know. But remember that Luna was about to become the first female Mage in a couple of hundred years. Senior Mage Apprentices and young Mages are famous for thinking they can rid the world of evil all by themselves."
Suddenly, Dee remembered how cocky Win had been when he Compelled her and took her on that wild ride to protect her from Shiva. He'd thought he knew it all, and only having their motel room blown up had made him realize he couldn't protect her by himself. "Win was like that."
"Yes, he was," Aradia agreed, a fond smile on her face. The smile faded and she added, "Don't think the decision to send Luna on that assignment doesn't haunt each and every member of the Council, anyway. They couldn't have known what the group would eventually do, yet I know they feel they somehow should have stopped it."
"Couldn't someone have Seen what they intended?"
Aradia's eyes were sympathetic. "How many Seers do you think there are today in the Balance?"
She hadn't thought about it. "I don't know. You're a Seer, and so is Sarasvati..." She struggled to remember if she'd heard of any others.
"There are eight of us who have enough Sight to be labeled Seers, and two are quite frail with age." She waited a moment before continuing, "And Dee, none of our gifts are anywhere near the strength of yours."
"That can't be!" she protested, although she accepted Aradia was telling the truth.
Aradia nodded soberly. "It is, dear. That's a big part of why we're all so eager for you to accept Goddess and join our ranks."
Dee said, "But I won't ever accept Goddess. I hate Her for giving me such an awful life."
As she said that, she suddenly wondered whether Goddess was responsible for her life, after all.
Might it be Janus's fault, instead?
**
Watchers were wonderful. Win was far from understanding them, but they more-or-less continually reported status information to the system at the Stronghold. The system classified and summarized that data for the Guardian's use.
He'd spent the morning so far reviewing what the Watchers had reported since they were created yesterday. Most incidents turned out to be unimportant, a car alarm malfunctioning or a handful of students arriving late for school.
It wasn't a waste of time to review the reports, though. An hour or so ago, he'd investigated an occurrence that turned out to show a bulldozer being stolen last night from a construction site near downtown Pawtucket. The Watcher reports had allowed him to find it in an unused stone quarry a couple of miles away, and the owners were now on their way to retrieve it.
As he stretched before moving on to the next item, the system's mechanical voice announced, "Westerly-Watcher reports an unknown individual forcing a woman into a van in the parking lot of State Line WareCo."
A kidnapping?
Was Carla's kidnapper at it again?
Aradia said, "Goddess has much power, Dee, but She doesn't control what happens here on Earth. If She did, She wouldn't need the Balance. She would uphold the balance between good and evil Herself."
"We're an amusement to Her," Dee argued. "Manipulating us is how She passes the time." She wouldn't have dared say that to Win. He'd take her accusations personally.
"Oh, Dee... I'm so sorry you feel that way about Goddess!" She half-smiled. "On the other hand, I must admit I can see why you would. Goddess's demeanor can be somewhat off-putting."
"It's more than off-putting! She actually said Win and I are among Her favorites because we'll serve Her so well! And She knew all the awful things I've gone through, and She said I'd needed to experience them so I'd know how to use my powers! How could that possibly make sense?"
Aradia's forehead creased into furrows. "You don't see that yet, do you?"
"See what?" she demanded, then reminded herself to calm down. This was Aradia, not Goddess. "I'm sorry for yelling. But no, if there's something I'm supposed to learn from all this, I haven't done it."
"Oh, you've learned it, Dee. You simply don't realize it. Take Carla's kidnapping, for example. I'm perfectly aware that you have no reason to feel the slightest bit of sympathy for that young woman."
"You mean..."
"I mean the way she persisted in trying to seduce Win, long after you two were bonded. And the way she belittled you and made you doubt Win's feelings. I may be ancient, Dee, but I see things."
"You're not ancient!"
Aradia shook that off. "My point is that many women, myself included, would have found it difficult to be terribly concerned about the disappearance of a woman who'd been such a thorn in my side."
"But I had those dreams! I knew what that man was doing to her!"
"Some would say she'd gotten no more than she deserved. While I wouldn't go that far myself, I don't think I would have argued with the High Priestess about the importance of finding her."
Dee stared at Aradia for several seconds. Win's grandmother was a loving, nurturing woman. That was part of why Dee felt so comfortable with her. How could she be telling the truth now? "But Carla wasn't to blame for that man's actions! She shouldn't have had to suffer if there was any way to prevent it!"
Aradia shook her head. "No, she shouldn't. I realize that, and in your position, I also would have tried to save her. But I would have done it because it was what Goddess would want me to do. I think you did it because her situation reminded you on a very personal level of how it feels to be a victim, and you wanted to spare her that pain."
"You mean you wouldn't have felt that way?" How could that be?
"I couldn't, Dee. My life has been far from perfect, but I haven't been a victim. I can feel sorry - horribly, terribly sorry - for those who are victims, but I can't know what it's truly like to be in their shoes."
Dee stared at Aradia. What would it have been like to have lived life without being a victim?
**
"System, display visuals of the incident," Win ordered as he pushed the button to call Geb.
The image was amazingly sharp, as though a TV camera was trained on the van. The van was like any of a million vans used by small businesses everywhere. It was black and the only windows were in the front. A young woman approached the mid-sized car next to it, pushing a shopping cart piled high with toilet paper and bottled water. She left the cart by her trunk and carried a large bottle of wine towards the back seat of her car.
She didn't get that far. The side door of the van slid open and a man hopped out. He grabbed the woman from behind, one arm around her middle to pin her arms against her sides. With the other hand, he covered her nose and mouth with a cloth.
She struggled, even attempted to use the wine bottle as a weapon, but the cloth apparently held a drug, and it took effect quickly. She slumped in the man's arms, and the bottle crashed to the pavement and shattered. A pool of blood-red wine spread where she had stood only seconds before.
The man loaded her limp body into the van and closed the door. Moments later, it drove off.
"System, follow that van and display location on region map."
While Win was busy thinking about what to do next, Geb asked, "Did you call for some advice, Mage? You seem to have the situation under control."
**
After a few seconds, Aradia continued, "Look at it another way, Dee. Your life up to the last two months has been a struggle. Why aren't you sitting back, simply enjoying being Win's mate?"
Aradia must have meant something related to her victim theory, but the question reminded Dee of her purpose in coming here. "I know this isn't what you mean, Aradia, but the reason I can't do that is because Win's job puts him in danger. I have to use my powers to protect him."
Aradia smiled and nodded. "Ah, yes. Back to the reason you're here. But perhaps you'll give some thought to these other matters. I suspect you're not as far from accepting Goddess as you think you are."
Surprisingly, Dee felt no outrage at Aradia's comment. Maybe she wasn't quite as vehement in her anger at Goddess as she had been. "It isn't just Win I worry about, either," she said. "If the Council doesn't have enough information, they'll inevitably make mistakes in assignments."
"That's true, Dee." Aradia's expression was somber. "The Council members take their responsibilities very seriously. They care deeply about making the world a safer and better place for all of us here on Earth, yet they have nowhere near enough Mages to do the job. So they prioritize and juggle resources as best they can, but many needs are left unfilled and even more potential problems left uninvestigated."
She understood now. "That's what happened with Shiva."
"Yes. And thank Goddess you have far more power than any of us guessed. Otherwise, we would have lost both you and Win, and no one knows what damage Shiva would have done before he was finally stopped."
Yes, that was a good point, and one Dee sometimes forgot. Shiva would have continued killing people in the name of his Queen until someone stopped him. Win and Dee might not have been adequately prepared for the battle with him, but they'd managed to succeed. They'd both learned from the experience, and the world was at least a bit safer now.
"I see that, and I guess it points out another part of what's troubling me. I was glad I could help defeat Shiva. It made me feel useful, like my powers are actually good for something. But I don't feel that way now. I had those awful dreams about Carla, but learned nothing that enabled us to find her. And I haven't figured out how to get useful information by scrying yet."
"That will change, Dee," Aradia said. "Your Sight is like a muscle that needs regular exercise to grow stronger. Students often train for months before they See anything in a scrying mirror, and only the ones with significant potential get beyond primitive shapes and colors."
She chuckled. "Poor Win. I'm sure you've noticed that he expects super-human things from himself. Well, he kept struggling with the scrying mirror for a couple of years, long after it was clear to the rest of us that he wasn't talented in that area. I think he felt particularly determined because Ogma once mentioned that Ra was strong in Sight."
Dee could imagine that. Win clearly admired his father and tried to emulate him, even though he couldn't understand why anyone would ever leave the Balance.
"You say I need practice to be able to See better. Should I wait until Sarasvati has time to help me?"
Aradia shook her head. "With most students, I'd say yes. But you've already learned many kinds of magick without help, and your Sight is undeniable. Simply give it a chance, and it will become stronger."
She paused and took a sip of what must now be ice- cold tea. "Dee, dear, you said a minute ago that you don't feel your powers are useful right now. And before that, you talked about your concern for the safety of the Mages the Council sends out on assignment. You could help with that, and in doing so, put your powers to good use."
"I could?" She'd like that.
"You could. One of the primary ways I use my Sight is in aid of the Council. Ogma keeps me informed about the trouble spots the Council is watching, and I provide them with any additional information I'm able to discover. At times, I scry back to determine what led to a situation, and I occasionally scry forward to see what may happen in the future. Most often, I simply scry in the here-and-now to give the Council more information than their other reports provide. You could work with me, if you wanted to."
The thought was intriguing. She'd be working with Aradia, for one thing, and that would be nice. Sarasvati was probably a perfectly nice woman, but Dee hadn't yet overcome the memory of their initial difficulties.
Thinking about her reminded Dee of an issue that would probably bother the rest of the Council as much as it did Sarasvati. "But would the Council allow that? I haven't dedicated my life to Goddess, and I know that's important to you people."
Aradia's jaw tightened and she sighed. "You're right. That's an important issue. Some members of the Council might well be suspicious of your motives for helping us. Most, I believe, would only care whether you gave them information that helped them make more accurate decisions. Still, I suspect it would be wise to keep your name out of this at first. If you're interested, I'd suggest we keep this arrangement among the four of us."
"The four of us? That means you'd tell Ogma?"
Aradia stared incredulously at Dee. "Of course! Ogma and I have no secrets!"
"But he's on the Council!"
Aradia smiled fondly and shook her head. "Ogma is on your side, dear. He may act like a big ogre sometimes. Like all men, there are many things he doesn't comprehend, but he's been your loyal defender since the first day you came to the Stronghold."
"But he..." Dee couldn't help remembering Ogma calling her an idiot for ignoring her lifemate bond with Win. That was someone who was on her side?
"He's challenged you from time to time, yes. That's what he does. He expects everyone to do their best all the time. Win wouldn't be quite as good a Mage as he is without Ogma's constant pushing and prodding." She smiled. "And I would be nowhere near as good at the things I do."
Maybe Aradia was right, but Dee wasn't ready to buy it. "So you think it would be okay with Ogma if I try to help you with this?"
"I know it would be, Dee. He suggested it himself."
Would wonders never cease?
**
"Geb!" Win had been so absorbed in the woman's kidnapping he'd forgotten to notice when Geb answered his call. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you'd answered."
Geb waved away the apology. "No matter. I see something's brewing. One of your Watchers picked it up, I imagine?"
"The Westerly-Watcher. I called because I'm not sure what I'm allowed to do about this. The rules for Guardians are different from those for Mages."
"Right. No direct intervention is the ideal, but since this is a Class-2 event, natural-seeming intervention can be used."
The words and phrases from training suddenly took on substance. A Class-2 event was one where an innocent party's life was in immediate jeopardy. If the situation progressed to Class-1, the kidnap victim would be dead, and Win would have failed.
No direct intervention meant Win should do nothing himself to resolve the situation. He could call the police and claim to have witnessed the woman being forced into the van. He could also pass on information about the van's route.
He did that, and it wasn't satisfying in the least. He wanted to do more, especially since this was his first big crime as Guardian Pro Tem.
Okay, that meant using natural-seeming intervention. He could use magick, but nothing obvious. "So I can pick up the van and deposit it in the prison yard, right?"
Geb sucked in his breath, then burst out laughing. "For a second there, I thought you were serious!"
"That's what I feel like doing, but I know better. System, analyze any kidnapping or missing persons cases over the past three months within a hundred kilometers of this one. Display all possible matches."
As they waited for a response, Geb asked, "Have you considered whether this might be the work of the person who abducted Carla?"
"Right away," Win answered. "But I doubt it. There's no sign of magick being used in this case, and the main similarity is that this victim is also a young attractive female."
"My thinking, exactly." Geb looked off to the side where he apparently had a display that showed what appeared on Win's computer screen. "That second entry looks like a match."
Win had already clicked for more information on that case. When it came up, he said, "It sure does. Abandoned car in a warehouse store parking lot, the victim a twenty-six-year-old female. Close to two months ago, and she hasn't been found..."
Which probably meant she was dead. As today's victim would likely be, if Win didn't stop the kidnapper. He glanced at the display showing the van, then at the map showing its progress. It was driving through what looked to be a cross between suburbia and the country. Houses and businesses were quite spread out now. From the map, it appeared to be headed into an area with few other roads, and probably little traffic.
"My bet is he's taking her somewhere out in the country. He must live there, or at least know the area." Win thought out loud so Geb could correct him, if necessary. "I need to stop him before he gets there. Given this road, I can get away with putting some nails or broken glass in his way."
Geb nodded, but said nothing.
"Okay, so what's the guy going to do when the van tires go flat? There are too many people around for him to bother with the woman, I think... And she didn't see him, so he shouldn't need to worry about her identifying him."
That felt too iffy. "What if I time it so there are cars coming? Then, he'll just want to get out of there..."
That felt better, although not completely secure. He was running out of time, though. In two miles, the van would pass the last turnoff, and traffic would nearly vanish.
Okay. "System, show me the relative positions of other vehicles on this road."
One car coming toward the van, nearly two miles away. A car and a truck following, half a mile and a mile and a quarter behind, respectively.
As good a time as he was likely to get.
He visualized three dozen roofing nails spread across the right-hand lane of the road a hundred feet in front of the van, and pushed.
There they were!
The van headed straight for them. It passed over most of them, but several embedded themselves in the van's front tires, and several more in the back tires.
As soon as the van was past, Win removed all but one of the nails. That one nail he moved off the roadway so no one else would be troubled by it.
The van continued on for a hundred feet, two hundred feet, and even more before the tires became noticeably flat. Even then, the kidnapper kept on driving.
Win started to wonder if he'd have to do something more, but finally the van pulled over to the side of the road and the man climbed out.
The man looked at the left front tire, then the back. He slammed his hand into the side of the van and stalked around the back of the vehicle to the side door.
He wouldn't dare do something to the woman right out in the open like this, would he?
When he put his hand on the door handle, Win created the whoop-whoop-whoop of a siren. The man froze and glanced both directions. He stood there considering for a minute, then carefully locked the van and started walking back in the direction he came from.
Win called the police again to report the abandoned van, being careful to give the license plate number. He kept watch until police cars surrounded the van and the woman was brought out, unharmed.
**
"Diana!" Win called, bursting into their suite a few minutes before lunch.
Dee jumped up from the computer. "Is something the matter?"
He laughed, twirling her around the room. "Just the opposite! I'm so excited, I couldn't sit down there in my office and pretend to be serious."
She couldn't help laughing, too. "Tell me all about it. But put me down first."
He stopped twirling, but still held her tightly around the waist, feet dangling a couple of inches off the floor. "I just stopped a Class-2 crime! The Watcher told me it was happening, and I knew the cops couldn't get there in time, and we think the guy was a repeater..."
When he paused for a breath, she said, "That sounds really exciting, but you'll need to start over and explain it step-by-step. Remember, I don't know much about what Guardians do."
"Oh. Right." He took a couple of deep breaths, and suddenly noticed her dangling there in mid-air. "You probably want me to put you down, don't you?"
Her heart melted all over again for this incredibly wonderful man. "Yes, but I didn't mind it too much this time." In truth, she didn't mind him holding her like this, but she couldn't help worrying he'd strain himself doing it.
He placed her gently in her chair, giving her one last squeeze before letting go. He paced around the room, too full of energy to stay in one place. "I guess I'm not sure where to start."
"Well, you could start by telling me what the guy was doing, and how you stopped him. The how's and all that can come later."
"Right. Well, he pulled a van up next to this car and grabbed the owner when she came back to it."
Her stomach swirled anxiously. "A kidnapping. It wasn't the guy who took Carla, was it?"
He shook his head. "Doesn't look like it."
He paused in his pacing and stared at the screen. "I interrupted you in the middle of something."
"Oh, that's okay." She reached for the mouse to close the file.
His hand stopped her. "What is that?"
"Just..." Just what? "It's a file your grandmother gave me this morning." Maybe the mention of Aradia would distract him from the file.
No such luck. He bent forward and used the arrow keys to scroll through the file. "It looks like the agenda for a Council meeting."
"Uh-huh." She should have thought about this earlier. How would Win react to her becoming involved in Council business? He wasn't a full Guardian yet, and the Council was a big step beyond that. He might feel threatened.
He was looking at the page header now. "The Council meeting to be held later today? Grandma shouldn't even have access to this file! Why the hell did she give it to you?"
Yes, indeed. Dee should have thought about this earlier.
Win definitely felt threatened by this turn of events.
Exactly what had Win expected?
His lifemate was an Adept.
He wasn't.
Of course she'd be given a seat on the Council. Come to think of it, it was a surprise this hadn't come earlier.
Win took two quick steps away from the computer. "Hey, this is great. I'm really proud of you, sweetheart, and I know you'll do a super job."
"You don't even know what I'll be doing."
Oh, this was nice. She was going to make him say the words out loud. "You've been invited to join the Council. Right?"
"Of course not! Why would you even think that?"
Because she had the damn agenda on her computer screen, that's why. "It makes sense. You're an Adept. You need to be on the Council."
She shook her head. "All I'm doing is helping your grandmother. She scrys about the subjects the Council is considering. Did you know there are only eight Seers in the whole Balance?"
"Eight?" He thought about it. "No, I figured there were more. But you're saying Grandma's involved with the Council?"
"Just indirectly," Diana said. "And by the way, she says we shouldn't mention anything about me working with her, at least not right now. Some of the Council members wouldn't approve."
Damn straight they wouldn't approve! Win should have realized they wouldn't let Diana on the Council yet. Not until after she dedicated her life to Goddess.
"So your scrying is going pretty well, I guess." When he'd tried to learn to scry, he'd spent hours on end staring into the surface of that stupid black mirror, until his eyes had just about crossed. Once in a while he'd seen tiny sparkles - or thought he had - but he'd never seen anything remotely resembling a picture.
Win did his best to quash the bitter taste of envy that rose like bile in his throat. Tried, but didn't entirely succeed.
She made a face. "It's not working very reliably, that's for sure. Your grandmother says I need more practice, that it's like a muscle that needs strengthening."
"That makes sense." The grandfather's clock in the hall chimed. "We'd better go down to lunch." For some reason he wasn't as hungry as he'd been a little while ago.
She clicked the file closed and stood. "Okay. You can tell me about the kidnapping you stopped on the way downstairs."
His earlier excitement seemed silly now. "Oh, it wasn't anything special. Just part of my job."
After all, why would an Adept care what he'd done. She could probably have accomplished the same thing without blinking an eye.
**
Dee let the whole kidnapping thing drop. Win must be feeling weird about her working with his grandmother to advise the Council. She didn't blame him. She just didn't know what to say to make things right between them.
How could she? Being an Adept was just as much a new experience for her as being the lifemate of an Adept was for him.
The Healers were in a good mood at lunch. Ganesha reported Guardian Gianni was doing much better today. He and Sulis hoped to help Gianni begin to use his magickal ability again that afternoon.
Sarasvati was pleased with the news, and had good news of her own to report. Carla's injuries had Healed completely overnight, and she was awake and talking. "She's ready to leave the Healing Cave any time. It might be upsetting for her to go back to her room in the servants' quarters, though. Diana, is there a suite she could use, at least for the next few days?"
Dee nodded. "There are several suites ready for guests. I can tell you which ones after lunch."
Sarasvati hesitated for a moment before asking, "Would you be able to handle that for me? I wouldn't ask, except I have a Council meeting right after lunch. I expect it to run a couple of hours, and Carla needs to return to more normal surroundings soon."
Dee couldn't refuse, even though she'd prefer to have as little to do with Carla as possible. She said, "I'd be glad to," hoping Carla wouldn't use the opportunity to brag about her plans for seducing Win.
After lunch, she checked with Mrs. Gilliam on which suites were ready for occupancy. The one she chose had a partial ocean view, but only if you pressed your nose against the window. It was on the other hallway from hers and Win's.
She felt a little guilty about the lack of view until she saw how impressed Carla was with the suite.
"Oh, this is nice! A real window and everything! Thank you so much..." Carla screwed up her face and stared at Dee. "I'm sorry. I know I know you, but I can't remember who you are. Are you the lady from this morning?"
Carla's voice wasn't normal. A little flat and a bit slower than Dee remembered. Her attitude was off, too. No smirks or fussing with her long red hair. Her hair was a mess, too, dirty and uncombed.
"That was the High Priestess," Dee told her.
"The High Priestess? Of the whole Balance, you mean?" The old Carla would have died before sounding that awed. "So who are you?"
"I'm Dee. We know each other from Cliff Magick."
Carla nodded, then frowned. "You mean, we're not at Cliff Magick now? Where are we?"
"We're at Ocean Magick." Did Carla remember being kidnapped? If she didn't, should Dee remind her?
Carla smiled triumphantly. "I remember! I was going to go to Ocean Magick to work..." The smile faded and she looked around the room in confusion. "But why don't I remember coming here? And this room's too nice for a maid..."
Dee guessed she'd have to explain a little. "Let's sit over here and talk for a minute." The couch was rose and somewhat less ornate than the one in Win and Dee's suite. "Do you remember being injured?"
Carla shook her head. "No. Is that why I was in bed when that lady came to see me?"
"Yes, it is. You were badly injured, and it's really not surprising you've forgotten a few things." Except this was more than forgetting a few things. Carla seemed like a totally different person.
She shook her head, upset suddenly. "I can't forget! I have to study hard and remember every little thing or I can't be a Healer!"
Another surprise. Dee hadn't been sure Carla actually cared about being a Healer. "I'm sure you'll remember in time. And maybe it's just recent things you've forgotten, not your Healer training."
Carla stared intently at her right hand for several seconds. "It's no good! I just tried to fix my nails, but nothing happens! This is awful!"
"Give it some time," Dee suggested. "You didn't learn to do magick overnight. It'll come back." She might as well not have said a word for all the good it did Carla.
"You don't understand! Healers saved my life when I was little. As soon as I got better, I begged and begged until my parents sent me for training. If I can't be a Healer..." Huge tears welled up in her eyes and she started blubbering.
It was blubbering, all right. Not dainty, delicate tears that might melt a man's heart.
They melted Dee's heart, though. She was seeing a different side of Carla today, a human side.
Dee moved closer on the couch and patted Carla's shoulder. "It'll be okay."
Her touch only made Carla cry harder and hunch as far into the corner as possible. "Please don't..." she whispered, drawing her legs up in front of her body.
What was Carla so scared of? Dee slid into her brain to Soothe her.
Carla went rigid. "No...please..." Surprisingly, she didn't struggle physically.
Sounds and colors and images flashed through Carla's mind at a sickening pace. Faces came and went, smiling faces, frowning faces, and one face, a twisted, evil face, that seemed to terrify Carla. Colors twisted and writhed, as if seen from an out-of-control merry-go-round. A cacophony of purely mental sounds added to the confusion.
Cautiously, she Soothed the area closest to her. The whirling confusion calmed down a little. Carla continued whispering, "Please...no..." Over and over.
Dee poured on more and more Soothing.
Carla's body relaxed slowly, long before her brain did. Eventually the discordant sounds and colors disappeared. Carla lay limp on the sofa, her breath shallow and slow.
Had she put Carla into stasis? The only experience she'd had with stasis was when Win was injured that time. He'd put himself into stasis then.
Uncertain, Diana considered what to do next. She didn't dare bring Carla out without first deciding how to deal with her emotional state.
Why had Sarasvati said that Carla was Healed? Didn't her confused mental state matter?
Or was it normal for someone to be this confused after having such serious injuries Healed?
She simply didn't know. She'd have to ask Sarasvati.
The Council meeting must have started, though, so she would need to wait until it finished.
She decided to Soothe Carla's brain all over so Carla wouldn't have bad dreams or wake unexpectedly. All went well at first, as Dee explored farther and farther in Carla's brain.
Suddenly, she felt as if she was in a burned-out field. The brain matter felt scorched and dead to Dee's touch. Her Soothing fell unnoticed like a soft mist on ground that had been sun baked for thousands of years.
Had that man done this to Carla's brain?
**
Win bit his tongue to keep from snapping at Geb. Right at this moment, he didn't give a damn what he'd done right or wrong in dealing with the kidnapping this morning.
That was part of being Guardian Pro Tem, though. Mage, too. He guessed even Guardians had to go through a debriefing or write a report or something after every incident. Guardians probably didn't have somebody else sitting there while they dug through every little step of the process, though. They probably got to have at least a little privacy.
The theory was sound, he supposed. After the heat of the incident, but before details were forgotten, was an ideal time to analyze your own performance. It just wasn't what he was in the mood for right now.
"Win?" Geb asked. "Anything else you want to mention?"
He wished Geb would just go away and leave him alone. He couldn't say that, though, so he gritted his teeth. "I probably shouldn't have used the siren."
"Why is that?"
"Because there wasn't anything around with a siren like that."
Geb nodded. "That's right. You don't want to raise any questions. In this case, I doubt that you did, but you always need to be cautious."
Win tensed and relaxed his leg muscles, pushing his toes hard into the floor. Anything to keep the frustration from overflowing. "I realize that. I panicked when the guy started to open the van door. I should have had a plan in mind for what to do."
"True, but you did very well, Win. It looks like the police will capture the kidnapper because of your efforts." Geb smiled benevolently at him. "I could tell you any number of stories of full Guardians not acquitting themselves nearly as well in their first live-action crime."
Win forced himself to smile. "Thanks. I appreciate that."
Diana's voice came out of the blue. "I knew you should have told me about it."
He nearly fell off his chair, then spun toward her voice. She stood in the doorway. "Diana! I thought you..."
Geb said quickly, "I think we've finished here. I'll talk to you later." The screen went black.
"Can you monitor the Fall River Suite from here?" she demanded.
"Sure. Why?" He punched a few buttons and the sitting room of the suite appeared on the screen where Geb had been moments ago. "Is that Carla?" It was obviously her, so he didn't really need to ask. But she looked so...so pathetic. Not like her normal self at all.
Diana sat across the console from him. "Yeah, but there's something really wrong with her. She doesn't act like herself, and she didn't even really seem to know me. Now I discover her brain's got this big burned-out place in it. I think that man did something to cause it!"
"A burned-out place? What do you mean?"
She shook her head. "I don't know how to describe it other than that. It's just not normal, that's all I can say. She can't do magick now, either, and that really freaks her out."
"Can't do magick? Like Guardian Gianni?"
Her mouth dropped open. "I hadn't thought about that. I wish Sarasvati wasn't in that Council meeting right now."
He started typing. "I'll send her an urgent message, and one to Ganesha, too. One of them needs to examine her."
Ganesha came right away. He paused at the doorway and said, "Excuse me, Mage. You sent a message about Carla?"
"Yes, come in. Diana was just with Carla. She reports that Carla is unable to do magick, and that there's a large burned-out area in Carla's brain."
Ganesha ventured a few steps into the room. "A burned-out area? What do you mean, Adept?"
"I can't describe it, but it doesn't feel or react like part of a normal brain."
Ganesha sighed and rolled his eyes. "Well, what part of the brain is malfunctioning?"
Diana shook her head. "I don't know. I'm not a Healer, you know."
"But you say you can tell the difference between normal brain tissue and what Carla has?" His skepticism was only too apparent.
"It's only part of Carla's brain, not the whole thing. But don't just take my word for it. Examine her yourself."
"Oh, I intend to," Ganesha said. "I was planning on it later this afternoon, in any case. Sarasvati said Carla resisted having her brain probed this morning, and that's simply not acceptable. We must know if her experiences have caused any damage to her mental capacity."
Win said, "I think it's particularly interesting that Carla can't do magick. I wonder if it's caused by the same thing that caused Guardian Gianni to lose his magick."
Ganesha sighed again. "Although it might seem likely to you, matters look different to those of us trained in the field. In any case, Gianni is regaining his magick at a very acceptable rate, and I suspect we're dealing with something along the lines of a previously- unknown virus." His tone was patient, like he might use on a recalcitrant five-year-old.
As Win struggled to come up with a polite answer, Diana said very sweetly, "I see I'm going to have to study Healing, Healer Ganesha. Perhaps you'd be willing to explain a bit of what you're doing while you examine Carla."
Win pretended to cough to cover his snort of laughter. Maybe being lifemate to someone who could do any kind of magick she wanted wasn't so bad.
**
Two hours later, Dee was fuming. Sarasvati was through with the Council meeting, but she and Ganesha barely seemed to notice Dee was in the same room. They fluttered around Carla, still in stasis, and conferred in low tones, using specialized terminology that seemed intended to confuse her.
"What have you discovered?" she asked for the third time. Each of the previous times, Sarasvati had started to answer and had been distracted by a question or comment from Ganesha.
A look passed between the two of them. Sarasvati left Carla's side and took a seat near Dee. Dee could almost see her trying for patience as she said, "Our analysis is quite technical, as I'm sure you understand."
"Yes, I'm sure it is." Dee's teeth were going to be permanently fused together if she kept gritting them much longer. "But have you found the area I referred to as burned?"
Sarasvati seemed surprised at the question. "Oh, yes. Of course. It's really quite obvious." The implication being that it had to have been obvious or Dee wouldn't have noticed it.
"Do you know what caused it?"
"No, I'm afraid not. It's a bit similar to what we often see in stroke victims, but it doesn't seem responsive to the same techniques."
"Do you think it's the cause of Carla's difficulty with magick?"
Sarasvati thought for a moment before allowing, "Quite possibly. You're correct that that area of her brain doesn't seem to be functioning normally, and perhaps not at all. If that area happens to be in control of her magickal ability, then that would explain the problem."
Didn't the Balance understand what part of the brain controlled one's magickal ability? Dee would think that should be basic knowledge for people who relied on magick as heavily as the Balance.
"Do you think this is related to Guardian Gianni's loss of magick?" Despite Ganesha's answer earlier to a similar question, it was hard for Dee to imagine that the two could possibly not be related.
"Ganesha doesn't think so, but I'm beginning to suspect that may be the case," Sarasvati said in a low voice. "When we examined Gianni yesterday, he had a few patches in his brain that seemed to exhibit the same phenomenon as this area in Carla's brain. Ganesha says a number of the patches appear completely healthy today, and Gianni's magickal ability is coming back. I find that intriguing."
Dee found that intriguing, also, but for a different reason. She was back to wondering if the scene of Janus and Sulis she'd scried could possibly be true.
Had Janus used a non-Balance-sanctioned Healing technique on Guardian Gianni?
If so, was that why Guardian Gianni's magickal ability was returning?
**
Win went to dinner a few minutes early, hoping Diana would be there. He'd like to find out what had happened with Carla this afternoon, but that wasn't his major concern.
He'd acted like such a jerk earlier. He was jealous that Diana's Adept status made her more special than he would ever be. His whole life had been geared around serving Goddess and the Balance. Sometimes it seemed unfair that Diana could just walk in and be entitled to so much.
On the other hand, Diana's life up until two months ago had been incredibly difficult. It would take a lot of special treatment to make up for that.
Diana arrived with Carla in tow. A vastly-different Carla from the last time he'd been face-to-face with her. She smiled cautiously at him and asked Diana, "I know that man, don't I?"
Diana smiled back. "Yes. That's Win. You knew him at Cliff Magick, too. He's Guardian Pro Tem here now." She sounded as if she was talking to a child.
Win added, "Diana's my lifemate," hoping to forestall any overt seductiveness. Things with Diana were uneasy enough already.
"That's nice," Carla said blankly. She gazed around the dining room, clearly impressed. "This must be a really nice restaurant."
Win opened his mouth to correct her, but Diana shook her head. [Don't bother. She'd probably just forget again.]
Diana said, "Here, let me show you your seat, Carla. The High Priestess and the Healers will be here any minute."
Sarasvati and Ganesha came in, but Su didn't arrive and didn't arrive. Finally, Diana said, "We'll start without Sulis. I'm sure she won't mind."
They ate salad and excellent roast beef with mashed potatoes, and still no sign of Su. When they were half through with dessert, Win asked, "Has anyone seen Su this afternoon?"
Ganesha said, "She was working with me right after lunch. I left her with Gianni when you called."
"Did Janus come to see Gianni today?" Diana asked. "Maybe he hasn't left yet."
"I instructed Sulis that Janus could stay an hour at most," Sarasvati said, her tone that of one who expected unquestioning obedience. "We've been at dinner nearly that long."
So where was she? Win didn't know whether he was being big brother or Guardian, but he didn't like her absence a single bit. He flipped up the armrest cover to access his keyboard and display. He'd ask the system to find her.
Just then, Su floated into the dining room. She gave them all a spacey smile and said, "I guess I'm late."
"You're extremely late," Win said in a tone he recognized as one his grandfather would have used in a similar situation.
If Grandpa had reprimanded Su like that, she would have at least pretended penitence. Instead, she continued on blithely to her chair and sat down.
He opened his mouth to demand an explanation, another one of Grandpa's tactics, but Diana interrupted him. "Excuse me, Win. I have a quick question for Sulis. Is Janus still here?"
Su blushed and looked at the edge of the table. "He's just leaving."
She hadn't escorted him to the front door?
Diana rose gracefully. "Excuse me, everyone. There's something I want to discuss with Janus before he leaves." She hurried out of the room.
And now, Diana was going against protocol! Grandpa would be horrified at the casual way she and Su were acting. A Stronghold was always a Stronghold, and formality and adherence to customs was crucial.
Sarasvati said, "Mage, if you'll excuse me, I have some calls to make."
Ganesha added quickly, "As do I."
Win suspected they both knew what was coming and wanted to get out of the way. Both remained politely in their seats until Win said, "Yes, you may be excused."
When they rose, Su stood, also. Win said, "My office, Healer Sulis."
As he turned away, he saw her bite her lip and raise her hand to touch something just above the neckline of her Balance robe. Was that a hickey?
He strode quickly through the halls and went right to his seat behind his console. When Su stepped into his office, he magickally closed the door behind her and said, "You were nearly late to dinner last night, and now you miss dinner entirely. That is not acceptable behavior, and you know it."
She threw herself into a chair and said, "Don't bust a gut trying to act like Dad and Grandpa all rolled into one. So I was late. Big deal." She adjusted the neckline of her robe to hide the mark on her neck. Although it was clearly meant to be a casual gesture, she called all the more attention to the hickey by the attempt.
"Yes, it is a big deal. We waited a long time for you. You showed extreme disrespect to this Stronghold, to me personally, and to the High Priestess to make us wait."
"I didn't ask you to wait dinner," she said, eyes downcast and lips pursed into a sulk.
The sulk was supposed to make him think he was being too hard on her. It might have worked except that he'd seen her pull the same trick on Dad and Grandpa for at least ten years. "Where were you, anyway?" he demanded. "The High Priestess said she told you Janus couldn't spend more than an hour with Guardian Gianni."
She lifted her head defiantly. "I kept track of the time. I'm not incompetent, you know."
"So I assume you and Janus were talking again."
"Yes, as a matter of fact, we were. He has all sorts of interesting things to say."
Win gripped the edge of the console to stay calm. "From the looks of that hickey, I'm guessing he found other things to do with his mouth, also."
"What are you talking about?" The innocent act was ruined by her renewed blush and the way her hand rose to cover the mark.
"Don't lie to me! I know what a damn hickey looks like!" Not that he could entirely blame Janus. Su was undoubtedly the sexiest woman who'd given him the time of day in twenty years. Still, a hickey? That was juvenile.
"What's wrong with you, anyway?" he demanded. "Janus is Dad's age, and he's a fat pig!"
She leaned forward, furious. "Janus is a man. I'm sick of the little boys the Balance is full of. They're all just like you, full of how wonderful they are and completely lacking in understanding of what life's really like."
He couldn't let that insult go. "I'm more of a man than Janus will ever be! Janus walked out on the Balance, and he walked out on Diana's mother."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. I know he explained his reasons to you and Diana. Don't be such a dweeb."
"You don't know the awful things his abandoning Diana's mom caused. If he'd told the Balance about her - "
"And I suppose you never made a mistake in your life?"
Her question pierced the bubble of his anger. It was time to calm down and be rational. He took several slow deep breaths. "Okay. Maybe you have a point there. But the fact of the matter is that Janus is more than twice your age. In addition, we don't know why he's hanging around here now, after avoiding the Balance for all that time. I don't think you should see him anymore."
She glared at him with the hard eyes and defiant expression that had driven Dad through the roof. "Is that so? Well, as it happens, I don't much care what you think."
That hurt. Su always cared about his opinions.
Luckily, he could have the final word. "I'm Guardian here, Su. I can forbid him access to the Stronghold."
She jumped to her feet. "You wouldn't!"
He nodded. "Yes, I would. It's for your own good."
"No, it's not! It's because you're an asshole!" She ran out of the office, slamming the door in her wake.
Dee hurried toward the front door, catching sight of Janus just as he was about to open the door. "Janus!"
He faced her. "Adept! How nice to see you today. Did you decide you'd like us to get to know each other?"
She hadn't thought much about it, but she didn't want to admit that. "I haven't come to any conclusion yet. I'd like to ask you about something else, if you don't mind."
"Certainly! What is it?"
She wondered where they could go for some privacy. A small room near the front door caught her eye. She guessed it was a waiting room. "Let's go in here."
He followed her into the room. Once he'd taken a seat, she said, "I wanted to see you so I could ask what you did to Guardian Gianni."
Janus froze for a moment. "What do you mean? I'm Gianni's friend. We play chess sometimes, other times we just talk..."
She smiled and shook her head. "Janus, I think you did something to help Heal Guardian Gianni when you saw him yesterday."
"Why would you think that?" he asked. "Sulis told me he's improved a lot since yesterday, and I noticed that for myself, also, but..." He appeared puzzled.
"I'm learning to scry," she told him. "I was practicing yesterday afternoon, and I saw you talking to Sulis about Healing techniques the Balance refuses to allow."
He frowned and drew his head back stiffly. "You spied on me?"
"No! I wasn't spying. I... well, as I said, I'm just learning to scry. I was trying to find out something totally different, but my accuracy's not the greatest yet."
That apparently satisfied him. "You're talented in Sight, are you? I wasn't terribly good at that, not compared to Sarasvati and Ra, in any case." He spoke in a self-deprecating way that begged the listener to be impressed.
Dee wasn't about to let him change the subject. "You didn't answer my question, Janus. Did you do something to help Heal Guardian Gianni?" He didn't answer right away, so she added, "I'm glad if you did. Just because the Balance doesn't approve of a Healing technique doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it."
He smiled widely. "Exactly. I'm pleased to hear you say that. It gives me hope that the Balance may finally throw off the vestiges of the past under your leadership." He shook his head, tears glistening in his eyes. "It's still a shock to realize that my daughter is an Adept. I never thought Goddess would bless me with such an honor."
"Goddess?" Dee asked. "The way you say that... it almost sounds like you still worship Her."
"Of course I do!" He stared at her in amazement. "How could you even ask such a question? Goddess gives us everything, and anything I can do to better serve Her, I'll gladly do."
Dee felt like he'd just pulled the rug out from under her. "But you left the Balance! I thought..."
He nodded. "Oh, yes. I was angry at Goddess back then. I suppose I started to come back to Her a bit when I was with Barbie."
His soft smile was so unlike his usual brashness that Dee could only stare at him. "Not that I admitted it, even to myself," he added. "I wasn't ready to fully accept Her again until after my first go-round with Luna's killers."
He sighed. "It was then, as I struggled to heal with only the most rudimentary medical care, that I realized the truth. Goddess is not all-powerful, as I had imagined Her to be. She gave me Luna. She isn't responsible for taking her away after those few brief years. And even though we never bonded, Luna and I shared a deep and abiding love I will never forget. That love makes it possible for me to live on without her, and all love comes ultimately from Goddess."
Dee couldn't speak. If Janus, who had lost his lifemate before they ever bonded, still worshipped and served Goddess...
Feet pounded down the marble hall toward the door. In a moment, Sulis ran past, her face contorted with anguish. "Oh, Janus! You can't be gone!"
Janus was on his feet before Sulis had finished his name. "Excuse me, Diana." He rushed out of the room. "Sulis, my sweet, I'm here."
Sulis raced into his arms. "Oh, Janus! Win says..." She broke down in tears and buried her face in his sweater.
"It's all right now sweet, sweet Sulis. I'm here. Just relax, and when you're calmer, you can tell me what Win said that upset you so."
He cradled the back of her head in one thick- fingered hand, covered the small of her back with the other, and kissed the top of her head.
Dee stood there, trapped in that small room. Janus and Sulis were right outside the door, and there wasn't room for her to pass. It might be narrow-minded of her, but she wasn't at all comfortable with the idea of a relationship between the two of them. Sulis was so young and so incredibly beautiful, and Janus was neither. Dee couldn't stand to watch them.
She transported to their suite.
**
Win slammed into their suite and kicked the door shut. Why had he bothered to come here, anyway? Diana wasn't here. Oh no, she was off chasing after Janus. Just like Su.
Well, no. That wasn't fair. Diana didn't trust the guy. She was intrigued by him, though. He could tell.
He should have shaken Su until her brain started working again. Dad would have...
Win stopped himself mid-thought.
Dad wouldn't even have raised his voice. He would have discussed the matter rationally until Su'd talked herself out of being interested in Janus.
Mr. Bill padded into the room. "Mom?" He didn't really say the word, of course, but it sure sounded like it.
"She's not here, Bill. Sorry." Like the cat actually understood English. Win was losing it big- time.
Mr. Bill hopped onto the couch and rolled onto his back for a belly rub. Only Win was across the room, and Bill had never wanted to be petted by him before. "I don't know how," he said, but he went over and gave it a shot, anyway. No sense making the cat suffer because Diana was off talking to Janus.
Bill's fur was silky, and there was a layer of muscle right under his skin that Win had never realized was there. He'd assumed a cat this big must be flabby.
"See? It's not so hard!" Diana said a few seconds later.
He jumped up. "Did you transport?" Well, of course she had. Otherwise he'd have heard the suite door.
"Uh-huh. But keep up the scratching. Bill doesn't like you to stop before he's ready."
Whereupon the cat got up and stalked off. "He must have had enough." Just as well. He and Diana had things to talk about.
"What did you say to Sulis? She was really upset."
He started pacing. "Did you see her tonight? All dreamy-eyed, and with a damn hickey to boot!"
She nodded. "I saw her. But she's a grown woman, Win. If she wants to fool around with Janus..." She made a face. "Well, I have to say I'm surprised. She's beautiful. She could be with any guy she wanted."
"She told me she likes him because he's a man and not a boy." It still rankled that she'd called him a boy, too. "That is such a load of bull."
Diana got a funny look on her face. "There's no accounting for tastes, you know."
She was thinking her messed-up thoughts again, thinking it was strange for him to love somebody like her. Normally, he'd remind her she was beautiful and wonderful and special, and that the amazing thing was that she loved him.
Not tonight. He was too bummed about Su, and he wasn't in the mood to deal with Diana's self-esteem problems.
When he didn't respond, Diana said, "Maybe she sees something in him we don't."
The fact that she'd put herself on his side in this made him feel a little better. "The thing is, I just don't trust the guy. I mean, okay, he's your father, and I can see he'd want to find out about you. But he didn't know you were here, and he didn't even know you were his daughter. So why did he start hanging around?"
"He's apparently friends with Guardian Gianni." Something about her tone made it more a question than a statement.
That just didn't feel right. "I know that's what he said, but I can't buy it." He struggled to reconstruct a foggy memory.
"I heard something one time that I wasn't supposed to. It was just a snippet of a call between Grandpa and Guardian Bel - you don't know him, but he's kind of like the chairman of the Council. They were talking about some mistake Gianni had made or something. Grandpa made a comment that was really very unlike him. About how Gianni was in over his head, and they both knew it."
"In over his head?" Diana echoed.
"Yeah. I interpreted that to mean that the Guardian job was too much for him. Anyway, Guardian Bel asked what they'd been supposed to do. The region needed a Guardian and all the good Mages from that generation had been lost."
"Meaning your dad, Janus, and Luna," Diana filled in. "But whether or not Gianni was a good Mage, he could still be Janus's friend."
"Yeah, but the next part is what I was talking about. Grandpa said, 'The real problem is that Gianni should never have been allowed to finish his Apprenticeship. We let our pity for the poor friendless Apprentice persuade us to allow him to continue training despite his marginal abilities.'"
Diana thought about that for a minute. "So Janus and Gianni weren't friends back then. I guess they might have become friends over the years, although Janus left the Balance a long time ago. But I don't get why Janus would pretend to be Gianni's friend, if he isn't."
Win sighed. "I don't know. That stumps me, too. But I'm seriously considering denying Janus access to the Stronghold, in any case."
"Did you tell Sulis? Is that why she's upset?"
"Yeah. After I tried to get her to not see him anymore, and she wouldn't listen to me."
Diana wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Were you trying to piss her off?"
"No, of course not! I...I just don't trust him." He didn't like the way she kept trying to back him against a wall, as if she didn't trust his judgment.
"You said that already." Her expression was uncompromising. "Tell me, Win, how much of this distrust has to do with Janus himself, and how much with the fact that he left the Balance?"
"I don't care that he left the Balance! Dad left the Balance, too."
"Sarasvati looks like she wants to spit on him. Are you going to tell me you don't care about that, either?"
He stopped in his tracks and asked, "Don't you wonder why she looks at him like that? Nothing in what he told us accounts for that."
She snorted. "Oh, come on! He made a huge scene in front of the Council and spurned their precious Mage status. You think somebody who's substituted the Balance for having a real life is going to be okay with that?"
"Just because she turned to Goddess after..." He reworded what he wanted to say. "I mean, being High Priestess doesn't mean she doesn't have a real life. Anyway, some people find doing Goddess's work a very rewarding way to live their lives." Diana would, too, if she'd only try.
"I know." Her voice was a little softer, her manner not as confrontational.
Maybe they could talk about this sensibly. "Okay, I'll grant you that Janus might be an okay guy and that Sarasvati's attitude could mean nothing important. But seriously, what could Su possibly see in the guy? He's more than twice her age!"
"Well, he apparently knows more about being a Healer than I would have expected. I'm sure she likes that."
"More than I do?" When she nodded, he said, "That's weird. Mage training covers what you might call first-aid Healing, but there isn't time for more. I wonder when he learned it."
She shrugged. "Maybe after he left the Balance. He knows techniques the Balance doesn't allow. He used one on Guardian Gianni."
Why was Diana just casually mentioning something crucial like this? "What did he do to Guardian Gianni?"
"He didn't do something to Guardian Gianni. He Healed him."
"How?"
She shook her head, her expression incredulous. "I don't know! What does it matter? He did it yesterday when he was here, and today Guardian Gianni's been getting his magick back."
"And Su knows about this?"
"Sure. She was there when he did it. I don't know if he taught her how to do it or not, but he at least explained the general theory to her."
He whirled and started for the phone. "I'm calling Sarasvati."
She reached out and grabbed his arm. "Why?"
"Because we have no idea what he did to Gianni."
"He Healed him!"
"Maybe. Maybe not." How could she fail to see the problem? "Diana, he's not part of the Balance!"
Her lips curled and she shook her head. "You are absolutely pathetic, Win. The Balance is so damn important to you you can't even see how ridiculous you're being. Janus worships Goddess, you know. He just won't kowtow to your stupid Council."
He jerked his arm away from her. "They're not stupid! Maybe they make mistakes once in a while, but at least they don't hold asinine grudges against Goddess!"
"My grudge against Goddess isn't asinine!" she screamed at him, then stood there, her chest heaving with anger.
"You know what?" she demanded, her voice low and deadly. "I used to think She finally did something nice by giving me you as my lifemate."
She glared a few seconds longer. "I was wrong, Win." Enunciating carefully, like he hadn't gotten it the first time, she said, "I - was - wrong!" As she finished the last syllable, she transported out of the room.
In case he still hadn't picked up on the fact that she was angry, she slammed the suite door.
**
Where was she?
Dee looked around. She was outside, somewhere, and it was completely dark. It was pretty cold, too, and there was more than a little breeze.
No scent of sea air, though, so she wasn't outside at Ocean Magick. She smelled something, though...fir trees! Could she be back in Oregon?
This transporting without a destination in mind was pretty dumb. She might have ended up anywhere. As she recalled, the only thought she'd had was to get away from her idiot lifemate.
She'd certainly been successful in that. And as it happened, the fresh air was doing wonders for her temper. It was hard to stay angry while she froze in just a Balance robe, underwear, and sandals.
She suddenly realized that she didn't need to stay cold. She could use a warming spell, or create some warm clothes to wear.
On the other hand, maybe she deserved to be cold. She'd said a perfectly awful thing to Win at the end, just before she transported here.
She hadn't really meant it, either, not even when she said the words. She'd just wanted to hurt him.
From the look on his face, she'd done a superb job.
**
Win sank to his knees and hunched forward, his arms wrapped across his midsection.
What had just happened?
Why had they said those awful things to each other?
He'd heard about couples fighting, even lifemates sometimes. But people joked about it, like it was some absurd thing that didn't really matter.
This mattered.
Yet there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. At least not until Diana came back.
Oh, Goddess! What if she didn't come back?
That thought paralyzed him. He might have spent the rest of his life in a heap on the floor except for Mr. Bill.
The cat came and bumped Win's hand. Win knew that meant he was supposed to pet him, but he just couldn't. About the fifth bump, Win mumbled, "Not now." That did no good, and eventually the bumps turned into a kind of reverse petting that was surprisingly comforting.
Then he was startled by a touch on the face. Mr. Bill's paw rested on Win's cheek right by the corner of his mouth. Bill's claws were completely retracted, and his paw felt soft and boneless.
Win opened his eyes. Bill looked right at him and said, "Mao?"
Win slipped Bill's paw into his hand and squeezed lightly. "Thanks, buddy. Us guys got to stick together, don't we?"
He stood and went to the phone. Despite his fight with Diana, he had responsibilities to fulfill.
**
It was time to go back.
Dee took one last look around, and this time she saw the thousands of tiny pinprick-size lights off in the distance.
Now she knew where she was. She was back in Oregon, in a park on a mountaintop just west of the Portland metro area. The park consisted of only a few picnic tables and a parking lot. The location was the real attraction. It was at the highest point on the mountain, with a magnificent view to the east, toward Portland and Mt. Hood.
Dee had found the park by accident one day while she was married to Barry. She'd been on a starvation diet, trying to lose enough weight to fit in the one-size-too- small dress he'd ordered for her for a special dinner. It had been too hard not to sneak food at home, so she'd spent most days driving around aimlessly.
She'd loved the view from the park so much that she'd hiked around, looking for the best possible view. Her walk had both invigorated and relaxed her. Even Barry had noticed a difference in her that evening.
She'd driven up here many times since then. Every time she'd gone away happier and calmer than when she arrived.
Just like this time.
She stood there, staring out into the night. The huge fir trees sheltered her and filled the air with their scent. The wind that buffeted her blew away the last vestiges of anger.
She was at peace now. Ready to face her life.
She transported to the hall outside their suite, and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, she opened the door and said, "Win?" No answer, so she went inside. He wasn't there.
He'd probably gone to meet with Sarasvati. Why had he been so upset about Janus Healing Guardian Gianni? What did it matter who did the Healing, as long as he was Healed? And he had been Healed, at least somewhat.
Too bad she couldn't do the same for Carla. Or somebody couldn't. If those places in her brain really were similar to what Guardian Gianni had had before he was Healed. But Carla's must have been the result of what that man had done.
Had someone done something similar to Guardian Gianni?
Suddenly, she remembered the man's large thick- fingered hands surrounding most of Carla's head.
Janus's hands had looked much the same, earlier tonight...
**
"Does Diana realize the severity of her accusations?" Sarasvati asked after hearing Win's story.
He shook his head. "She thought she was telling me something good about Janus." If she'd known what Win's reaction would be, she probably wouldn't have told him.
Sarasvati's voice became gentler. "You understand what will likely happen to your sister, if this information proves correct?"
"I do." Su would have to submit herself for Judgment. Win would preside as Guardian. Sarasvati, as High Priestess, would render judgment. In all likelihood, Su would lose her Healer status.
Sarasvati frowned, but it looked more like a worried frown than an angry one. Win had the impression she was getting ready to say something comforting. He didn't think he could tolerate it, so he said, "It's necessary, I understand that."
Serving Goddess could be a real bitch sometimes.
**
Maybe Janus had known how to Heal Guardian Gianni because he'd caused Guardian Gianni's loss of magick!
What had been his purpose? Somehow Dee couldn't imagine Janus doing anything that wouldn't benefit him. She wasn't sure why she distrusted him so much, but she did. She had, ever since he'd first walked into the dining room, long before she knew who he was. There was something about him...
Wait a minute! Guardian Gianni's loss of magick came first, before Carla's kidnapping.
She'd been kidnapped from INSIDE the Stronghold
The Barrier normally protected the inhabitants of the Stronghold from evil. But without Gianni's magick to bolster Bedrock's, the Barrier had been weak. It hadn't covered the servants' quarters, either, since they were in a newer part of the building.
So that could mean Janus had made Gianni lose his magick in order to kidnap Carla.
But then he'd returned her.
Why?
Maybe if Dee could understand the last dream she'd had...
The evil man - Janus? - had been doing something painful to Carla when she'd managed to chomp down hard on his finger. After a moment, she'd shrieked and fainted. Right after that Janus cursed and began slamming her into the walls.
So why had he lost his temper so completely at that point? What had he said then? She tried to recapture the words, but they were lost.
Only a few words. Nothing that made any sense to Dee.
But something else made a lot of sense. Very scary sense.
Sulis was infatuated with Janus. Dee had been so upset with them that she'd left them alone together.
Sulis was sufficiently angry at Win that she wouldn't be as cautious and thoughtful as normal.
Dee had to find Sulis right away!
Dee stood up. Where should she look first for Sulis? She wouldn't still be down by the front door with Janus, would she? Maybe her suite?
Dee almost laughed at herself. She didn't need to go looking for Sulis! She could find her instantly by astrally walking to her.
She sat back down and carefully visualized Sulis, both looks and personality. Sulis had the kind of long dark wavy hair that models in shampoo commercials had. Her face was faintly exotic, dominated by gorgeous brown eyes and a sexy mouth. She was short and petite, and to her chagrin, just as small on top as everywhere else. Except for that, she was exactly the kind of woman Dee hated.
Sulis's personality made her impossible to hate, though. She was open and friendly and caring, and she truly didn't seem to notice Dee wasn't just as good-looking as she was.
Once Dee had the image of Sulis set in her mind, her astral self stepped out of her physical body. Aradia had described the process as similar to slipping off a coat, and Dee thought that analogy fit well.
Her astral body didn't have weight and was invisible. Dee didn't know if it used transporting to move instantaneously from place to place, or whether the mechanism was different. It didn't really seem to matter. It simply worked.
Once outside her physical body, all she needed to do was to think where she wanted to be. In this case, she wanted to be where Sulis was.
Just that quickly, she was in the passenger seat of a car driven by Sulis. No one else was in the car, but Dee saw a big duffel bag tossed in the back seat.
They were driving down a wide street lined with huge mansions. Instead of street numbers, each entrance was marked by a sign bearing a name. This must be Bellevue Avenue, famous as the site of The Breakers, Marble House, and a host of other famous mansions.
Where was Sulis going?
After another half mile, Sulis turned left into the parking lot of a small shopping center. A modest-sized grocery store and an ice cream restaurant were the main businesses. Only the restaurant was open this late.
Apparently Sulis wasn't headed to the restaurant. She parked in the far corner of the lot, grabbed her duffel bag, and got out of the car. She wore tight-fitting jeans, a cashmere sweater that did its best to make her small breasts look larger, and sandals with clunky three-inch heels.
Janus appeared within moments. "Sulis, my sweet! How extraordinarily beautiful you look tonight!"
She wiggled in some way that worked for her and would look grotesque if Dee tried it. "Why, thank you, Janus. I hope I didn't take too long. You didn't say where we were going, so it was a little hard to pack."
Wait a minute! They were going somewhere?
He smiled broadly. "I didn't mind the wait a bit. As for where we're going, you won't need a whole lot of clothes." He smirked in an almost comical way, then sobered. "Did you have any difficulty getting away?"
She shook her head. "I just went to the garage, grabbed a set of keys, and here I am. Are you sure it was smart to leave a message for Win? He'll try to find me."
Janus glanced into the car, right straight at where Dee was. Of course she was invisible, so his eyes passed right over her and returned to Sulis. He slipped his arm around Sulis's waist and said, "We'll just let him try. It will give him something harmless to do."
With that, they disappeared.
**
Win was grateful to Sarasvati. She'd gone with Ganesha to examine Gianni, allowing him time to talk to Su alone.
Maybe Diana was wrong. Maybe Su hadn't been involved. Or maybe Janus hadn't treated Gianni, after all.
He said a quick prayer under his breath. "Goddess, please help me to do the right thing. I know if Su did something wrong, it was with good intentions. That doesn't make it right, and I know she has to be punished." He thought for another few seconds and added, "But thank You for not making it be something I have to issue judgment for."
He took a deep breath and asked, "System, where is Healer Sulis?"
"Healer Sulis left the Stronghold at 9:17 p.m. local time."
His eyes went to the clock. Just after nine-thirty. "Show me her departure."
The garage appeared on his monitor, and Sulis walked into the picture carrying a duffel bag.
She couldn't be leaving for good, could she?
She crossed the garage to a green compact that looked a lot like her car at home. She stowed her bag and drove out of the garage without a backward look.
He continued staring at the playback until the screen blanked. What now?
The System spoke again. "Healer Sulis left a message to you queued for delivery at ten o'clock. Do you wish to access it now?"
"Yes, please."
His computer beeped, and he clicked to read Su's message. The subject line was Sorry. It said:
Dear Win,
You're going to hate me for leaving, but I have to do it. Janus is a wonderful man, nothing like the guys I've known before, and all I want is a chance to find out if he's the one for me. I can't have that if I stay - the Balance hates Janus too much.
Try to understand what it would have been like if the Balance had told you that Diana was a bad person and you couldn't be with her. You'd have done the same thing, wouldn't you?
Please tell Mom and Dad that I'll be in touch soon. I love them - and I love you, too, despite how you're being.
Wish me luck!
Su
Well, that did it. It hardly mattered now if Su had allowed Janus to use his unauthorized techniques on Gianni. She'd abandoned her assignment without permission.
Her career as a Healer was over.
And now he was going to have to issue that judgment.
**
Dee's astral body followed Sulis automatically. Their destination was warm and sunny. They were indoors, in a building that reminded Dee of Gilligan's Island.
Sulis snuggled up to Janus. "This is really nice. Where are we?"
"A small island in the South Pacific. I wanted a place where we could be alone."
Sulis wore a cat-with-a-dish-of-cream smile. "That's so romantic! What should we do first?" She cuddled closer, making her thoughts on the subject perfectly obvious.
Something that Dee had no interest in witnessing!
It was time now to make a plan. Following Sulis here had been fine, as far as it went, but she couldn't just stay here watching forever. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't.
She had to return to her physical body within twelve hours, or the link between her physical body and her astral body would be broken. Both would survive for a time, neither able to function properly. Within a matter of days, though, she would die.
What Dee really needed was an opportunity to be alone with Sulis long enough to tell her what Janus had done. But to talk with her, she'd need to be here in person, not as her astral self.
What if she returned to her body now, then transported somewhere nearby? With magickally enhanced hearing, she'd be able to hear when Sulis went for a walk around the island, or when Janus went to the bathroom.
She took a good look at the expanse of outdoors visible from her vantage point. It wasn't terribly promising as a hideout, primarily consisting of a flat sandy beach. Off to one side and halfway to the water, she saw a couple of palm trees and a bit of other vegetation. She'd transport there.
Janus and Sulis were kissing now, so it was more than likely they'd be occupied with each other for a considerable amount of time.
Long enough to go back to Ocean Magick, make up with Win, and transport back here.
She closed her astral eyes and willed herself back into her physical body at Ocean Magick.
Nothing happened.
Okay. She probably hadn't been definite enough about the mental command. This time, she added a push to make the magick real.
Eeuw! What was that creepy caught-in-the- middle-of-a-spider-web feeling?
She opened her eyes, and the same tropical setting greeted her.
Why couldn't she return to her body?
[Win! You have to help me!]
Her words made the water-dripping-into-a-bucket sound that meant they hadn't gone through.
She was trapped, with no way to call for help!
**
"I thought it only fair to tell you this, Win," Sarasvati said. "I've spoken with the Council about the situation here."
He held himself perfectly still with an effort. "I realize you had to. Including Su's role, and her...departure." He couldn't make himself use the more formal terminology.
Bedrock nudged him mentally and said, [Lifemate.]
There were times he wished his mind weren't so completely open to Bedrock. Like now. Instead of replying, he made himself continue, "I'll understand if they feel my usefulness here has been compromised." Fancy words meaning he knew they were going to can him.
[Lifemate.] The nudge was more like a shove now.
[Not now, Bedrock.]
Sarasvati almost smiled. "Win, why on earth would the Council think that? You weren't involved with any of Healer Sulis's misdeeds."
"I'm her brother, and it will be my responsibility to issue judgment for abandoning her post. They might think..."
[Lifemate!]
What was Bedrock's problem, anyway? Didn't it know he was in the middle of half a dozen crises?
"They might think you weren't up to the task?" Sarasvati questioned. "If they thought that, they wouldn't have appointed you Guardian Pro Tem in the first place."
He just stared at her. They weren't going to take away this assignment?
She continued, "Most of our meeting concerned the news about Gianni. We had hoped that, with his magick returning, he might be able to take over as Guardian again in the near future. But now, that won't be possible. We will never know if his brain was changed in some way by Janus's treatments."
"Can't the Healers Heal him, anyway?"
"No. Unfortunately, we know relatively little about how the brain works. Ganesha is studying brain functions, and he'll make use of Gianni's case to expand our knowledge. Gianni, however, will never be allowed to return to an active role in the Balance."
"How sad!" Win couldn't help imagining himself in a similar position. Gianni had devoted almost his whole life to the Balance and Goddess, just as Win had. Now, it was over.
[Lifemate!!] Bedrock made the word buzz around in his head.
Sarasvati reached out and touched his arm. "Win, I've proposed to the Council that you be named Guardian permanently."
If he didn't feel her hand on his arm, he would have thought he was dreaming. "Me? A Guardian? Really?"
She nodded. "Now they haven't decided yet, but my suspicion is that they'll go along with my proposal. The only negatives are that you're still so young, and that you've had so little experience. But this is a small region, and you're doing wonderfully so far. I think..."
Bedrock mentally goosed him. [LIFEMATE!] Win lost track of what Sarasvati was saying.
He gave up. "Excuse me. Bedrock's trying to get my attention."
[Diana?] His mental voice echoed back at him.
She hadn't heard him.
He tried again. [Diana, sweetheart, speak to me!]
Nothing.
He couldn't mind-speak to her any longer!
Had she thrown him out of her mind?
**
Okay. This was not a good time to panic. Slow, deep breaths, then she'd think about what to do next.
Panicking wouldn't help, anyway. It would only make things worse.
What could have gone wrong? She hadn't done a huge amount of astral walking, but the process had worked well for her, right from the start.
She'd been doing fine this time, too. She'd followed Sulis to the parking lot and then gone with her when Janus transported them here.
Was there something special about doing an astral walk to find a person? Could she maybe not leave that person?
That theory didn't make sense, but she decided to test it out, anyway. She'd move across the room, to over by the solid wall broken by a single door that must lead to the rest of the hut.
Yuck! That sticky web thing tightened around her, and she couldn't move.
But what was it tightening around? Dee's physical body was back at Ocean Magick, and her astral body wasn't physical.
Then again, the web probably wasn't physical, either...
Janus pushed Sulis away from him. "We have to stop."
"No!" Sulis tried to slip past his outstretched arms. When that failed, she circled behind him, but he just turned with her and kept her at a distance. "I thought you cared about me..."
"I do, sweet Sulis. But we need to talk before we go any further."
"Why?" She flounced around the room, making sure Janus knew exactly what he'd passed up.
He gritted his teeth as he watched her performance. "If you'll sit down, I'll tell you."
"Well, I don't much care for that attitude!" But she sat in a cushioned basket-style chair.
Janus sat, too. "Sulis, my sweet, as I told you earlier, your brother's attempt to keep us apart is only the first of an endless series of tactics the Balance will use against us."
She shook her head. "That doesn't matter anymore. I walked out. I can never go back." Her voice broke.
"Certainly you can. They may make it hard, but they'll let you back, if that's what you want." He snorted. "They'd even let me back, after all these years! I'd have to jump through a lot of hoops, but the Balance needs willing bodies too badly to refuse."
He smiled. "But I have the solution! If you become my lifemate, the Balance won't be able to keep us apart!"
Had Dee heard him correctly? It sounded like...
"Become your lifemate?" Sulis asked.
"Yes, Sulis, my sweet. Become my lifemate."
"But Goddess makes people into lifemates! And Luna was yours." Sulis's open-mouthed shock echoed Dee's.
He nodded. "Yes, Luna was my lifemate. And it's true that Goddess chooses lifemates normally. But She has honored me by allowing me to learn the technique myself."
"The...technique? I thought...I thought She matched up lifemates before birth and gave each one half of the same soul..."
"I'm sure you did think that." His smile was indulgent. "Then again, since you grew up outside the Balance, there may have been a time when you believed in Santa Claus, also."
"You're saying..."
"I'm saying that the Balance has taught you any number of myths about Goddess and how She wants us to live our lives. One of those myths is that She creates lifemates for each other."
He shook his head in amazement. "Just think how ridiculous that idea is. It's so hit-and-miss, for one thing! You and your lifemate might never meet up, or your lifemate might die during childhood. Think how many people would never meet their lifemates that way!"
"So...what happens instead?"
"The sensible thing!" He laughed. "Take your brother and my daughter, for example. After they met, Goddess looked at the two of them, and She decided they would be a good couple. So She adjusted their brain frequencies just slightly, and that meant they could mind- link. Voila, a pair of lifemates had been created!"
Sulis was thinking hard now, all flirtatiousness gone. "What do you mean, brain frequencies?"
Janus smiled broadly. "Oh, Sulis, it is such a pleasure to have someone to discuss these issues with! You can't know how lonely I've been, with no one who even knew what magick was."
He settled more deeply into his chair. "Brain frequencies is my theory for the way that brains communicate with other brains. My inspiration was the radio. A radio station operates on a particular frequency, and any radios tuned to that frequency receive what the station is broadcasting."
Sulis nodded slowly. "So you think lifemates have brains that operate on the same frequency?"
"I don't just think that," he said. "I know it! I was able to verify that theory with Gianni and Darlene."
So Janus HAD done something to Gianni's brain!
"You were? How?" Sulis's eyes were bright, but she showed no signs of suspicion.
He smiled and shook his head. "The details are quite technical, my sweet, but suffice it to say that I've managed to create a system for measuring brain frequencies. Now, I can also adjust them!"
Sulis bit her lower lip as she made the connections. "That's what you want to do, isn't it? You want to adjust my brain frequency to match yours?"
"Exactly! I've discovered that brain frequencies are normally in the same rather-limited range. What I'd do would be much like using an analog radio tuner to fine-tune the reception of a particular station."
"How would you do that?" Her voice was breathy with nerves.
His smile was quite oily, but Sulis immediately relaxed. "The process is quite simple, my sweet, and very similar to Healing. It would only take a few minutes, and then we'd be lifemates."
Was that what Janus had tried to do to Carla?
**
Win tried again. [Diana!]
That echo again!
He refused to even think about what this might mean. "System, where is Adept Diana?"
"Adept Diana is in the sitting room of the Block Island Suite. Do you wish to see visuals?"
"Yes, please." He ignored Sarasvati's curiosity and pushed down his growing alarm.
Diana's image appeared on the monitor. She was sitting on the couch, not moving. Mr. Bill sat next to her, pawing at her arm and yowling like he'd lost his best friend.
She wasn't DEAD, was she?
He raced for the door.
**
Dee visualized her voice filling the room, warning Sulis that Janus had done much the same thing to Carla. She pushed to make the magick real.
Nothing happened. No voice. No little surge inside that said she'd done magick.
Why not? Had she suddenly lost all magickal ability like Guardian Gianni and Carla?
That didn't make sense. Janus hadn't had a chance to do anything to her... He didn't even know she was here.
Or maybe she had the whole thing figured out wrong...
Sulis shook her head. "I don't know, Janus. What you're saying makes sense, but..."
"But you don't want to be my lifemate." Janus sighed. "I understand. I'm not the type of man you expected for your lifemate. I'm older, and..." He gestured at himself with a slight smile. "Well, I hardly cut a dashing figure these days. I had hoped our many similarities would make you feel differently..."
She interrupted with an impatient wave of her hand. "Stop putting words in my mouth! I'm not saying I don't want to be your lifemate!"
"You're not?" His half-hopeful smile was a bit too much.
"No. All I'm saying is that I can't make a decision just like that." She snapped her fingers.
He nodded. "All right. That's fair. So what can I do to help you make your decision?"
Sulis looked around the room as though she suddenly felt trapped. "I don't know. I just need some time, I guess."
"Certainly, my sweet." He stood and gestured at the beach outside. "Perhaps you'd like to go for a walk on the beach, or take a swim. The sun won't be too intense this early in the day."
Dee calculated in her head and decided it must be seven or so in the morning here. It was hard to tell, since it was already so bright and almost-uncomfortably warm.
Sulis looked out through the rolled-down screens. "I should have brought a bathing suit."
Janus chuckled. "Not to worry, my sweet. Here you go." Her jeans and sweater disappeared, replaced by an almost-modest orange-and-red bikini. "Is that acceptable, or should I create something else for you?"
"You can create clothes?" She couldn't have sounded more thrilled.
"Yes, I can. If you become my lifemate, you'll be able to do it, too."
"That's neat!" She threw her arms around him and pressed her body into his.
He held her for a moment, then pushed her away. "Get away from me, you sexy thing! You know that if we're to become lifemates, we can't make love until Goddess has blessed our bonding."
Sulis made a face. "That's not one of the myths the Balance made up?"
"Sorry, but no. Now, are you going to get out of here, or do I have to dress you in a big burlap sack?"
"You're so silly!" She gave his nose a tweak and sashayed out of the hut, using way more hip action than necessary.
Janus watched her until she got as far as the palm trees, then looked straight at Dee. "Stuck, are you? Too bad no one ever taught you to mind your own business!"
Janus knew she was here?
"Win! Win!" Somehow, Sarasvati nearly kept up with him until they hit the stairs. He took them two and three at a time, and she fell behind.
"Don't do anything until I get there!" she called as he reached the upstairs hallway.
He threw open the suite door. Diana hadn't moved. "Diana! What's wrong?"
No answer. By then, he was kneeling at her feet, both of her hands in his. They were warm and she was breathing!
At least she was alive!
Maybe mind-speaking would work if they were touching. [Diana!]
No go. The words bounced back at him like he was in an echo chamber.
Sarasvati hurtled into the room. She went straight to Diana and started checking her breathing and heart rate. "Tell me what's going on, Win."
He took a deep breath. "I can't mind-speak to her. And before, Bedrock kept saying Lifemate to me."
"Does she know the technique for astral walking?"
"Sure. I don't know how much she's done, but she's never had any trouble. You think she's lost?" Inexperienced astral walkers sometimes lost track of their bodies and had trouble returning to them.
"It's certainly possible. I'll see if I can call her back." If she was lost, her astral body would be wandering around, uncertain of where it belonged, like a ship lost in the fog. Win knew that calling her back was analogous to becoming a lighthouse beacon for her.
"I'll do it." He reached out toward Diana's mind.
Sarasvati pushed him away. "You can't take the risk. If there's more involved than Diana being lost, you could be pulled into it through your link with her."
"What else could it be?"
"We'll talk about that if we need to," she said, lips pressed together. "For now, do you think you could move this cat? I can't do anything with it right here, squalling in my ear."
Win hadn't even noticed Bill up to now. "Sure thing. Come on, buddy. I'll take you in the bedroom."
Mr. Bill didn't struggle. He simply turned into a fifteen-pound deadweight of unwieldy cat. Win deposited him on the bed and told him, "Your mom'll be back soon."
He sure hoped so, at least.
By the time he closed the bedroom door, Sarasvati was already shaking her head. "It's not working. She must have been caught."
Caught?
What did that mean?
**
Dee wanted to scream.
She couldn't, of course. She wasn't in her physical body, and only physical bodies could scream.
Janus smirked at her as though he knew how she felt. "I'll bet you didn't even know this was possible, did you? You were quite insulted the other day when I called you a tool of the Balance, but it's true. You've allowed them to spoon feed you the information they deem appropriate for you to know."
He returned to his seat, angling it so he was looking right where she was. "Yes, Diana dear, I can see you. Seeing astral bodies is a relatively rare talent, but not unknown. I wonder if you inherited that talent from me?"
She might have. She'd seen Win's astral body once, a couple of months ago. Aradia had led her to believe she'd seen it because she and Win were lifemates, but maybe this was the real reason.
His forehead drew together in a frown and he shook his head. "Diana dear, this situation saddens me. I've only just found you, and now I'll never get a chance to truly know you. But the plain and simple truth is that I can't have you interfering in my relationship with Sulis. Not after I spent all those miserable years alone. Not now that Goddess has blessed me with the ability to create my own lifemate."
"The saddest thing is that I don't even know if you've realized the truth. You may simply have followed Sulis out of nosiness. And now you'll die." He stared harder at her, then shook his head. "It's impossible to see any expression on your face, so I can't even tell if you know what will happen to you."
Yes, she knew. And from his attitude, it was clear he wouldn't free her in time. She was going to die.
His voice turned crisp, as though he was giving a lecture. "You have twelve hours to return from an astral walk. If you don't return to your physical body by then, your astral body becomes disconnected and you eventually die. I imagine it's quite a horrible death."
He was being so casual about all of this! Could he truly not care that Dee would die because of his actions?
He shook himself and smiled again. "On the other hand, my future will be considerably more pleasant. I'm not sure I wouldn't have preferred Carla as my lifemate, but such is life." He shrugged. "She completely refused to cooperate, and of course, once I destroyed part of her brain, her body no longer mattered."
He truly must be a monster! Destroying part of Carla's brain was important only because it made her useless to him.
"Not that Sulis is unattractive, of course, and her intelligence will make her a more enjoyable conversationalist. I'm sure if I devote myself to the task, I can learn how to give Sulis better boobs."
His happiness with his lifemate would be based on how big her breasts were?
[Oh, Win! I wish I could tell you just one thing before I die. I wish I could tell you how sorry I am that I ever doubted your love for me!]
But she'd never be able to tell him that.
And she'd never be able to tell him how his love had helped her accept herself.
Or that loving him for even this short a time made her life worth having lived.
She'd never have a chance to say any of those things.
**
"What do you mean, caught?" Win demanded.
Sarasvati pushed him toward a chair. "Sit down, Win. This isn't something you can leap in to solve."
"She's my lifemate!"
"I'm well aware of that. If you'll sit down, I'll call Ganesha, and the three of us can discuss this rationally."
He perched on the edge of the chair. "Why Ganesha? Is she sick?"
She drew herself up until she appeared much taller than five-foot-two. "Mage Gwynvid! You are a trained Mage and Guardian Pro Tem of this region. Control yourself!"
The snap in her voice reminded him of Grandma, and a little of Grandpa. What would either of them say if he behaved like this in front of them? Undoubtedly much worse.
He had exercises for times like these. All Apprentices practiced them until they were second nature.
"You're right. I'm sorry."
He closed his eyes and took deep cleansing breaths, one after another, at a rate just slow enough to keep from hyperventilating. Then he progressively tightened and relaxed all the muscles in his body, continuing the deep breathing. Finally, he visualized a bomb in the middle of his brain, a bomb that would wipe out all nonproductive thought. He pushed and the bomb exploded.
He opened his eyes, ready to face whatever came his way. "I'm back."
Sarasvati nodded. "I can tell." While he'd been doing his exercises, she'd taken a chair nearby. "Ganesha is on his way."
Win realized he needed to own up to his mistakes. "I've been out of control since I couldn't mind-speak to Diana. I apologize."
"Your apology is accepted. But Win, I won't always be there with you when a crisis hits." She didn't meet his eyes. That seemed strange, after years spent training with Grandma and Grandpa. They were big on eye contact, seeming to consider it an essential part of the discipline of serving Goddess.
"I know. I need to recognize the signs of panic for myself."
"True. That is often one of the more difficult tasks we must do to properly serve Goddess and the Balance. You'll do better next time, I'm sure." If this was Sarasvati's idea of reprimanding someone who'd made a potentially serious mistake, he was amazed she'd risen to High Priestess. She was saying basically the right things, but she barely seemed to be paying attention to his responses.
He nodded. "I will."
On the other hand, maybe Sarasvati was taking it easy on him because of the seriousness of Diana's situation. The nervousness in his stomach turned to ice.
Ganesha came in and went straight to Diana. He checked her briefly. "I suspect you're correct, Sarasvati. I was among those who examined High Priestess Morgana, and her pulse was elevated like this."
High Priestess Morgana had been Sarasvati's predecessor. Her death had caused shock waves throughout the Balance early in Win's Apprenticeship. He'd never learned what happened. "Was she caught, whatever that means?"
"Yes, she was," Sarasvati answered, "and she couldn't be saved. But there's a chance we can save Diana."
A chance? That meant... that meant it was much more likely they couldn't save her.
Goddess, no!
Win felt the panic start again, and he stomped on it hard. Panic would achieve nothing. He held onto the tatters of his self-control. "Tell me everything you know about what's happened to Diana."
Ganesha sat on the couch a couple of feet from Diana. "First, you must understand that we don't know she's been caught. We're merely surmising that, based on the evidence. We'll want to verify that before we take any action."
Okay, okay. Ganesha was always cautious like this. Win could deal with it.
Ganesha continued, "And if she has been caught, the chances of saving her are considerably higher than they were with High Priestess Morgana."
Well, that was good. But higher still wasn't enough. Win wanted for sure.
Sarasvati said, "First, we need to determine how long has Diana been like this. Do you know, Win?"
Tonight had been one awful thing after another. It was hard to connect times with any of them. "She wasn't here when I left for your suite."
"All right. That was shortly after nine. It's ten- thirty now, so let's say we have at most ten and a half hours from now to get Diana back."
"Nine o'clock tomorrow morning." He refused to think what failure meant.
She nodded. "Right. Now, for the explanation you've been wanting. There is an evil type of magick that allows someone to build the equivalent of a spider web around a person or location. The web traps anyone who goes there, either in person or astrally. Before High Priestess Morgana fell into such a trap, the Balance knew little about them."
"But you know more now," he said, needing that to be true.
"Some," Ganesha said. "Nowhere near what we need to know, unfortunately. With you two being lifemates, it may be enough." He smiled weakly in Win's direction as though to appease him.
Maybe wasn't what Win needed to hear, but that was apparently as good as he was going to get.
"I'll do anything! Anything at all!"
Sarasvati's lips curved into a sad smile. "I believe you, Win. But as Ganesha said, we need to verify Diana has been caught before we go any further. You must link with both of us, then attempt to link with her."
"Why link with both of you? I'll tell you what she says."
Ganesha shook his head. "That's not the issue. If she's been caught, her brain will be sticky and you'll get stuck. We'll pull you free."
It felt like they were throwing up roadblocks, just to slow things down. He bit back a sharp retort and asked, "If you can pull me loose, then can't you pull Diana out, too?"
"We won't have the strength," Sarasvati said. "Half a dozen people tried to pull Morgana free, and she wasn't budged."
Ganesha cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Sarasvati, but you weren't there and I was. The primary difficulty we had was in establishing a strong enough link with Morgana. That's where Win being Diana's lifemate is such a help."
Was Win being obtuse or was Ganesha hinting around at an idea instead of saying it? "So you think it might be possible to pull Diana free that way?"
"If we had enough strength. But I'm only a Healer..."
And Sarasvati probably wasn't much stronger. She'd have become a Mage, otherwise. But they weren't the only other people available...
"What about Geb?" Win asked. "And maybe my grandmother?"
Sarasvati thought briefly. "Not Aradia. We may need her, if this attempt doesn't work."
Why Grandma? Because she was a renowned Healer? Sarasvati's brief answer made his stomach twist even more. "What about Geb?" he asked again.
She nodded. "If Geb's willing to come..."
He was.
**
"Diana, I do so wish you hadn't turned out to be such a disappointment," Janus said. "We could have done such momentous things! You would have been fascinated by the library of books I've assembled. The Balance has suppressed any number of texts over the years, and I've learned wondrous things from them."
He made an circling gesture that seemed to indicate the whole hut. "The web I'm using for protection, for one thing." He lit up with delight. "Oh, yes. I know exactly what I'll do to pass the time until Sulis returns. I'll read to you about how to create a web."
He hopped up and went to a glass-covered bookcase Dee hadn't noticed before. He gazed admiringly at the books inside, then picked one up reverently. "You'll have to excuse me. There's a section here I want to re-read."
Dee wished she could talk to her mother one last time. How had she ever found Janus attractive enough to have sex with?
She didn't mean physically, either. He'd probably been decent-looking at Win's age, and maybe even in shape. But his me-first personality and his lack of compassion for others couldn't be new, nor could his willingness to assume that any and all rules were meant for others.
Dee had always felt that if her mother really loved her, she'd tell her about her father. Now, she wondered. Had she needed to know her father was the kind of man who claimed to be thrilled about her arrival, yet walked away without a thought for how her mother would manage to survive? Maybe Mom hadn't wanted Dee to know what an awful person her father was.
Janus glanced over his shoulder at her now. "I apologize for keeping you waiting, my dear. These books are such dear friends! I'm just re-reading a section on stealing power from the Bed -"
Was that a touch?
[Diana?]
It HAD been a touch! [Win?]
His laughter echoed through her brain. [Yes, sweetheart. It's me.]
[How...] The questions piled up too quickly to ask.
[I'll answer everything, but first, what happened to you? Sarasvati and Ganesha think you've been caught by an evil magick web.]
So that was it! [Janus calls it being stuck, but it feels like being in a spider web. I can't move, even here in the same room, and if I try, I feel the web tightening around me.]
Then she realized Win was now linked with her. That meant he was stuck, too!
[No, it doesn't. I'm linked with Sarasvati and Ganesha and Geb, too, and they'll pull me free when we're done talking. They may be able to pull you free, too.]
[What if they can't?]
[They have another plan, but I don't know what it is yet. Don't worry, we won't just abandon you.]
As if she could even imagine Win doing that! [Oh, Win, I don't want to forget to tell you how incredibly much I love you, and how wonderful it's been to be with you the last two months.]
[The next eighty years will be even better,] he said, but she felt the fear underneath his words. [Wait a sec. Somebody's asking what you meant earlier when you mentioned Janus.]
She'd heard that. A quiet voice, not directed at her. She supposed Sarasvati, Ganesha, and Geb were all somewhere in Win's brain. She decided she'd concentrate on Win's voice. [Janus is the one who has me trapped. I followed Sulis earlier tonight, and she went to meet him. He transported them both here - somewhere in the South Pacific - and that's when I got caught. He's the one who took away Guardian Gianni's magick. He did it so he could kidnap Carla. He wanted to make her into his lifemate, but he destroyed her brain somehow. Now he wants to do the same thing to Sulis.]
[Is Sulis okay?]
[So far. He's asked her to let him do the transformation, and she's thinking about it. But I'm not sure he'll take no for an answer.]
"Ah, Diana, here's the section I wanted to read to you," Janus said. "You'll find it fascinating, I'm sure."
Another voice asked something, and Win said, [Sarasvati wants to know what you mean about Janus making Su his lifemate. Goddess chooses lifemates.]
Janus was blathering on now, and Dee could barely hear herself think. She concentrated on shutting his voice out.
[He claims She's let him learn how to make his own lifemate. But listen, Sulis's been gone a while and I think she'll be back pretty soon. You guys had better try the pulling-free thing, because we've got to find some way of saving Sulis.]
Janus's voice seemed louder now, and she realized it was because Win, Geb, Sarasvati, and Ganesha were all completely silent. It was as if they were all waiting for Win's answer. [Um, Diana. The thing is... Sulis abandoned her assignment. If she comes back, she'll lose her Healer status and maybe even be thrown out of the Balance. If she wants to be with Janus, that's her decision and we can't do anything about it.]
What a load of crap. [Look, I'm here, you're not. Sulis is not behaving normally, and she hasn't since the first time she talked with Janus. He's done something to her brain, just like he did to Guardian Gianni's. We're not going to leave her here.]
Another pause, then a flurry from the other voices. [Diana, this isn't your decision or mine. It's the Council's.]
[And Sulis is your sister! Look at the mess he made of Carla and think how you'd feel about that being your sister.]
[Let's not argue about this now. We'll pull you free, and then we'll talk.]
Oh, sure they'd talk. He'd say the Council said no, and that would be it. Well, maybe that was how he felt about it. She wasn't going to desert Sulis that easily.
[Pull me free, and I'll save Sulis myself. The Council can't take away my career.]
**
Why did Diana have to choose now to snipe at the Council? Didn't she realize Win was mind-linked with not just one but two Council members?
Geb was standing behind him, one hand on each of Win's shoulders. He squeezed lightly, just enough to make Win feel a little better. Maybe Geb had been embarrassed by his lifemate at some point in the past.
[We're ready anytime, Win,] Geb said after another few seconds.
[What do we need to do?] he asked.
[Simply hold your link as strongly as you can while we pull. If we can't get both of you free, we'll stop and have you let go of Diana before we pull again.]
No way was he going to let go of Diana! He didn't trust this idea they claimed to have in case this didn't work. If it was so great, they wouldn't have been so eager to try pulling her free like this. They also would have told him about it up-front, so he could have explained it to Diana ahead of time. No, this was their best shot, and he'd hold onto his lifemate for dear life.
Not that he'd tell them, though. [Okay. Just tell me what to do. Diana, hold on tight.]
[I hate getting you all sticky,] she said.
[Don't worry about it.] He grabbed onto her as tightly as he could, and he felt her take hold of him, too. The grip was purely mental, of course, but it was warm and comforting, just as a physical hug would be.
The stickiness all over Diana felt similar to a thick layer of honey. If it had been in just one spot, it wouldn't have been hard to free himself from. Since it was all over, he was glad he wanted to hang onto Diana.
[We're ready,] he told the others.
[On my count,] Geb said. [Three, two, one, go.]
Several seconds later, he felt Diana wonder when they were going to start. He thought his answer to her, knowing that if he mind-spoke, the others would hear. He told her they'd started, but that he hadn't felt anything yet, either.
Then he felt a slight tug, as if he'd encountered a strong current while swimming. The tug grew stronger until it was a real pull.
[Diana? Did you feel that?]
[I felt something...like I was caught in a wind gust. Or maybe like we both were.]
Win felt his astral body moving, an almost physical sensation unlike anything he'd ever experienced while out- of-body. The web holding Diana started to lose hold on her, then pulled her back. Again and again. Until he felt stretched, like the rope in a tug-of-war.
Whenever Geb, Sarasvati, and Ganesha were actively pulling, they made a little headway.
But they couldn't pull constantly. Pulling used magick, and most magick was done with a single push that lasted no more than five seconds. Mage Apprentices practiced sustaining pushes for as long as a minute at times, but even a Guardian in his prime couldn't do a long series of sustained pushes.
Win timed their rhythm, and the next time they pulled, he joined in. The pull was awkward for him, since he was trying not to separate himself from Diana, but they made a little progress. The web sucked her back, but not quite as far as it had before.
The next time, they made even more progress before his mind-link with Ganesha slipped away. They reestablished it, but Geb said, [You'd better leave the pulling to us.]
He didn't participate on the next attempt, only to feel Diana be pulled back farther than the time before. [I have to help! It's the only way we can free her!]
Diana said, [Win, don't do it! You don't want to be stuck here with me!]
[I won't be stuck. Even if they lose me, they can link again later, after they get more people to help.]
Sarasvati said, [The web is getting stronger every time we pull against it. If you get stuck, the chances of us getting you free later are virtually nil.]
[I thought you had another plan, if this didn't work,] Win all but snarled at her.
[We can't even try it unless one of you is free. Let go of Diana now, Win. We won't abandon her. You know that.]
[Do as Sarasvati says,] Diana said. Her mental voice sounded discouraged.
He demanded, [Exactly how likely is it that your other plan will work?]
None of the three said anything for the longest time. Finally, Ganesha said, [I won't lie to either of you. We haven't tested this idea, but we believe it will work. Basically, you and Diana mind-link at the deepest level, and Diana transfers herself into your physical brain. You break the link with the part of her caught in the web, and then Diana transfers back into her own body.]
That was their plan? [There's more to Diana than her mind!]
[Of course.] That was Sarasvati. [But it's her mind that's caught in the web.]
[No. We're not going to try that. We'll continue to do it this way. It's got to work.]
Diana said, [Win, it's okay. Their plan sounds reasonable. And if it doesn't work, at least you'll still be okay.]
[I wouldn't still be okay! Not without you!]
[But you could save Sulis. You don't want to lose us both.] He could hear the hopelessness even stronger in her mental voice now.
[Win, really, the last two months have been so much better than I ever thought my life could be... I could never have enough time with you, but knowing you'll be okay is what really matters now.]
No, it wasn't. [We're going to do it my way,] he told her, doing his best to radiate confidence. [And this time, we're going all-out, because if we do that, one long pull ought to be enough.]
Win waited through several seconds of silence before Geb said, [One more pull, Win. That's all the three of us have left.] He squeezed Win's shoulders again, as if saying he knew that was asking a lot. [If I tell you to let go of Diana, let go of her.]
Win was determined it wouldn't come down to letting go of her. [All right. Give the countdown, Geb. And hold on, Diana!]
[All right, everyone. Three, two, one, go!]
Win yanked so hard that his brain would ache for a month, and the others pulled, too. Diana grunted at the strain of being pulled two ways at once. The web's grip on her loosened, then tightened, pulling her back even deeper into its sticky grasp. It wouldn't give her up easily.
Well, that was okay. Win wouldn't give her up at all.
Suddenly he felt the web's strength weaken. It was only a matter of moments now...
[Win, we're out of power,] Geb said. [Let us pull you back.]
[Not now! Don't pull anymore! Just stay linked!]
Oh, Goddess! Just a little more power...
[Win, you've got to let go! We can't hold the link!]
[No!]
In her Voice of Power, Diana yelled, [Win, let go of me!]
He let go of her.
Win tumbled, out of control, falling...
Back to his body...
Away from Diana...
Onto the floor.
He hadn't wanted to let go. He simply hadn't had a choice.
No one had a choice when an Adept Coerced them. They just did as they were commanded, no questions asked.
Recriminations.
Now that was a totally different matter.
He shouldn't have let her Coerce him. He should have made sure she understood how close they were to freeing her...
He felt a delicate touch on his forehead. "Win. Win, are you all right?"
He opened his eyes and stared right into Sarasvati's almond-shaped ones. "Diana Coerced me to let her go."
"Good thing," Geb said. "We couldn't have held the link any longer."
Win sat up, already reaching mentally for Diana. He had to find her again right away! She'd been so close to breaking free of the web!
He reached...
But she wasn't there.
No, he was disoriented. He'd have to search for her a little, that's all.
But where WAS she?
Always before, he'd found her with no trouble...
Bedrock jolted him. [Talk to Geb.]
[No! I have to find Diana!]
[Talk.] Another jolt.
"Talk to me, Win." Geb lowered himself carefully to the floor nearby.
"I have to find Diana." Even to his own ears, his voice sounded hollow. "I reach, but..."
Geb shook his head, his eyes infinitely sad. "She's not there, Win. She's gone."
"But if I keep reaching, I'll find her. I know she's out there somewhere."
"No, Win. You can't keep reaching. You'll be lost, too."
He shook his head. This room wasn't quite real anymore. "I said I wouldn't abandon her."
Sarasvati said, "You did your best, Win. More than anyone else could have. The astral plane is vast. Somehow, Diana was dislodged from the web where she'd been stuck. We got her loose, but we...couldn't hold her. And now she's gone."
"She's not gone! Don't keep saying that!"
Geb touched his hand. "Win, I understand your feelings. Believe me. When I lost my dear Lessa, I couldn't accept it, either. I insisted she would wake up... and I wanted the everlasting comfort of reaching for her one last time..."
"You...?" He wasn't even sure how to phrase the question.
Geb nodded. "Many lifemates do that, you know. Perhaps most, eventually. Healers tell us that when we reach for our lifemates, our bodies don't breathe and our hearts don't beat until we've connected with that special other half of our soul. If our lifemate is gone from this world, we simply reach until our life drifts away."
He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before continuing. "As I said, I nearly did that when I lost Lessa. My service to Goddess and the Balance is the reason I didn't. I hope that your devotion to Goddess will lead you to the same decision."
Were these people nuts? They were telling him that Diana was dead, and then in the very next breath saying he should buck up and get back to business.
How could he? How could they expect him to? He was...empty. Not just half empty, without Diana. He was totally empty, as if all that was alive and vital in him had gone away with her. All that was left was anger. No, not just anger. A terrible, burning rage at fate. At the Council for not listening to Diana. At Goddess?
Yes! Even at Goddess. How could She have let this happen.
"Win?" It was Sarasvati, sounding, for the first time, unsure of herself.
He couldn't deal with any of this. "Go away, all of you!"
Sarasvati said, "Certainly. But Win, allow us to Soothe you a bit tonight. Goddess doesn't want you to suffer needlessly."
Then why the hell did She take Diana away from him?
"Just go away." He flapped his hands. He'd shatter if any of them touched him.
Oh, Goddess! Why?
He curled into a tight ball and refused to look at any of them.
After an eternity, he heard Geb struggle to his feet. "I'll be nearby when you're ready to talk."
"As will I," Sarasvati said. "And if you want your parents, or your grandmother, just tell me."
He wanted Diana! Only Diana!
The room was quiet then. Finally he dared to uncover his face. He'd... he'd...
He needed to do something dramatic. Something... something to show...
It was hopeless. He couldn't even imagine the concept of what he needed to do now, much less do it.
Diana hadn't just been his lifemate and the other half of his soul. She was the worthwhile part of him.
"Excuse me, Mage." Ganesha's voice was timid, but determined.
"I said to leave me alone." He couldn't even work up the energy to yell at the poor man. Then, because Ganesha was visibly pale from lack of power, he said, "I won't do anything to myself. Not tonight. You can go eat and then get some rest."
Ganesha bobbed his head. "I will. I... I stayed behind the others because there's something you need to know. Diana may simply be lost somewhere in the astral plane."
Two-hundred-twenty volts of pure electricity couldn't have energized him any more quickly. "You mean she might not be dead? We can get her back?"
Ganesha shrank back, probably shocked at Win's sudden vehemence. "Oh, we can't do anything to get her back. I just... I thought you should know, that's all. There are a few cases in the literature where people were lost, even to their lifemates, for a time, and then came back."
A few cases in the literature. Would Ganesha even know it was raining outside unless he read it in the literature? "Why didn't Sarasvati mention this?"
Ganesha frowned. "She's very skeptical of the older files in our archives. She says they're full of tall tales and hearsay. I say they describe another time, one full of wonders, both awesome and horrific. Who are we to judge them as inaccurate, simply because both good and evil adopt such commonplace visages these days?"
Win had read some of those files. They read like comic book tales of dastardly evildoers and princely saviors.
In them, Luna might still come back from the dead.
No comfort was to be had there.
**
Where WAS she?
Dee was spinning... flying...
She knew that much. But where?
Her surroundings flew past too fast to get more than an impression, but she wasn't in the South Pacific anymore.
Nor was she at Ocean Magick, with Win, where she wanted to be.
It had been so hard to Coerce him into letting go! She'd wanted to hang onto him, no matter the outcome. He was too special to lose.
She'd had to Coerce him, though. The others would have lost their grip on him in moments. She'd done it to save his life.
That was it! She was dead!
Which meant she was wherever dead people go. Did they go to be with Goddess in some place like the Heaven she'd grown up hearing about?
An eternity with that overbearing smart-mouth? Just what Dee needed.
She wasn't spinning quite so fast now. She could see scenery around her. Flat empty expanses, dry and sparsely-populated. A few trees, wind-blown into odd twisted shapes. A desolate stretch of asphalt cutting the landscape in two.
She'd grown up in the Central Oregon desert. This looked like any number of places she'd been back then.
She spun on down the road. It felt like she was being carried by the wind - if it was a wind. It behaved like none she'd ever seen.
She came to a town, one she didn't recognize. She rode the wind through the streets until she saw a house that was vaguely familiar. Then somehow, she was inside.
A woman stood over a pan on a tiny stove, one hand on an obviously-aching lower back. Her bouffant blonde hairstyle sagged as much as she did.
"I'm hungry, Mommy," a little girl announced. She sat in a straight chair at a cluttered table, only her head and shoulders visible above the edge of the table.
"I know, I know," the woman muttered. "You're always hungry."
Someone knocked loudly on the door. The woman turned off the stove and shuffled half a dozen steps to open it. "What do you want?"
A gaunt man, reeking of blood and dirt and waste, pushed his way inside. "I'm back, Barbie!"
The woman took a quick step back. "Jan?"
Oh, my! This woman was Dee's mother, and this was the scene Janus had told about, just yesterday. The man must be Janus, minus a hundred or so pounds. That meant the little girl was Dee.
He grinned. "In the flesh. Now come here, Barbie, and give me a kiss."
He grabbed at her, but she dodged him. "Not a chance, you bastard! You walked out on me more than three years ago, leaving me pregnant, with all of forty-three dollars and a little bit of change to my name."
"I had to leave, Barbie. I found Luna's killers!"
She screamed, "So what? She's dead, and I needed you!"
"And now I'm back," he said, sounding convinced that would make everything better. He headed for the table where little Dee was now cowering. "Is this our little girl?"
"Don't you dare touch her!"
Surprisingly, he stopped before reaching the table. "Can she do magick?"
"Of course she can't, and neither can you," the woman snapped. "I don't know how you ever convinced me otherwise."
"You named her Diana, didn't you?" he demanded.
"Yes, but it's way too pretty a name for a plain blob like her. And all she does is eat! Eat, eat, eat, like a little pig!"
"That's because she's special," Janus said. "She needs food so her -"
"So she can get even fatter." She shoved him toward the door. "Go away, Jan. I'm not sixteen anymore."
"You're even more beautiful now, Barbie."
She laughed, a hard, bitter sound. "Don't lie to me, Jan. Just get the hell away from me." She pushed him again.
He refused to be budged. "I've come back to you and Diana, Barbie. I know I look bad, but I just need a chance to clean up and eat regular meals for a while..."
That was exactly the wrong thing to say. "Get out! I can barely feed myself and this little pig you gave me!" She grabbed the frying pan off the stove and knocked him in the head with it, then chased him out the door.
She leaned on the door, breathing hard and maybe crying, for several minutes. Then she turned to little Dee and said, "Yes, I know. You're still hungry."
**
Win sat on the floor for some immeasurable length of time. Finally his bladder insisted on a trip to the bathroom. While he was there, he washed away his tears. They'd be back, but maybe not right away.
Mr. Bill looked up from his position on the bed, curled up on Diana's robe. "Mom?"
Win turned inside out again. What would happen to Mr. Bill? He was Diana's cat, through-and-through. The only other person he really seemed to like was Su...
She was gone, too.
Mr. Bill was his now, that's all there was to it. He walked over to the bed and sat down to pet him. "No, buddy. Your mom's gone. It's just you and me from now on."
Bill couldn't possibly know what Win was saying, but he rubbed his head against Win's hand and looked him straight in the eye.
"It'll be all right," Win said, struggling to get the words out while his chest shook with unshed tears. "We'll do okay... I'll even learn how to hold you in my arms the way you like."
Maybe that would help both of them.
He thought about what Geb had said, about how easy it would be to reach out, just once more, for Diana. Geb had chosen not to do that, to continue serving Goddess and the Balance.
That sounded logical. Goddess and the Balance certainly needed Win just as much as they had this morning.
More, actually. This morning, they'd at least had the hope that Diana would someday dedicate her life to Goddess.
Continuing to serve Goddess and work for the Balance might be the logical thing to do, but it didn't feel like anything Win wanted to do. Later, maybe, but certainly not right now.
Revenge didn't even appeal to Win. What was the point of going after Janus? It wouldn't bring Diana back.
If only Diana hadn't followed Su tonight! She'd be here where she belonged, safe from danger, his to love and cherish for the rest of his life. Why had she done such a foolish thing?
But she hadn't known it was foolish. She'd been concerned about Su. He couldn't fault her for that. He just wished it had worked out differently.
Had she been right? Was Su in real danger from Janus? Diana had said something... about Janus being the one to ruin Carla's mind... while he was trying to make her his lifemate? Was that right?
It must be. Because he was sure Diana had also said Janus was going to make Su his lifemate now. That would explain why Diana was so determined to stop him!
Su was in real danger!
He had to save her!
**
The mysterious wind swept Dee out of that awful apartment and carried her along that two-lane road again. Had that been her life flashing in front of her eyes as she died?
Actually, she guessed it was a pretty good capsule of her life. She'd been hungry her whole life. Hungry for acceptance and affection as much as for food. The acceptance and affection had been harder to come by, so she'd tried to satisfy those needs with food, too. It hadn't worked.
Her mind picked at other things the scene had revealed. Like that Mom had known Janus claimed to do magick, and that he expected Dee to have magickal abilities. And that Janus had picked her name, too. No wonder Mom had never called her Diana.
No wonder Dee thought of herself as a pig, either. Not if that scene was at all representative of her childhood, and she knew it was.
Goddess's voice boomed out of nothingness. "Despite all that, your mother loves you. You saw that, didn't you?"
Dee wasn't surprised at the interruption. Goddess wouldn't want Dee to have any peace and quiet, not even while she was dying. "She put up with me. That's all."
"Then why did she stop Janus from touching you?"
"Because it was something he wanted to do. She can be petty like that."
"Why didn't she give you up for adoption, if you were that much of a burden?"
"I don't know! Ask her, why don't You?"
"Because I already know the answer, Adept."
That supremely smug self-assurance was the part of dealing with Goddess Dee hated the most. She waited several seconds, expecting Goddess to tell her the answer. When She didn't speak again, Dee said, "Okay, Goddess, tell me. I know You're sitting there waiting for me to ask."
Apparently She wasn't.
The only sound was the wind carrying Dee down the road.
**
Win raced down the stairs to his office and plopped into his chair. "System, call Geb and Sarasvati and ask them to meet me here as soon as possible. And then find all references in the archives to something web-like that's capable of capturing astral bodies."
Sarasvati said the web could capture a physical body, too, so Win would have to find a way to disable the web. He'd have to prevent Janus from interfering with his rescue of Su, also. "Also find me the latest research on whether magick spells persist past the death of the one who cast the spell."
Sarasvati hurried into the office, followed closely by Geb. "Win, you needn't work at a time like this," she said.
"Unless Bedrock's alerted you to a problem," Geb added. "If so, I'd be glad to deal with the emergency."
"I've been thinking about it, and I'm going to rescue Su. I need your help."
Geb and Sarasvati looked at each other briefly, then sat. Sarasvati said, "Win, I can sympathize with your feelings. Losing both your sister and your lifemate in such a short amount of time must be nearly unbearable."
"But Win, the situation hasn't changed with regard to Sulis," Geb said. "She abandoned her assignment willingly, as is plain to see from accessing the Stronghold's memory banks. Her own actions have severed her relationship with the Balance, and more importantly, with Goddess. Her relationship with Janus is now a completely personal matter, between Janus and her. You must not interfere."
"You heard Diana!" His voice trembled on her name, but he plunged forward. "She was right, you know. Su hasn't been herself since the first day she spent time with Janus. He must have manipulated her mind somehow!"
Sarasvati smiled in a kindly way. "Win, you must remember Sulis is a young woman. She is just as prone to respond to the influence of her hormones as any young man. Do I think Janus is a sensible choice of companion for Sulis? Of course not! But it is her right to make that choice. It is not yours, even though you're her brother and want only the best for her."
"Rest assured that Janus will answer for the harm he's caused," Geb said. "The Council has already declared him an enemy of the Balance, and Mages will be sent to find him and bring him to justice."
Just like that, the answer fell into Win's lap. "Give me the assignment. I'm a Mage, and I'm available immediately."
"You're Guardian Pro Tem, Win."
He shook his head at the ridiculous objection. "You can run the region just as well as I can. Probably better."
He felt a pang then for the promotion the Council had been discussing earlier tonight. He would never be a Guardian now. He didn't have a lifemate any longer.
His entire lifetime's goal had been to be a Guardian. Now it was gone, and it barely mattered.
Because Diana's death made everything else pale in comparison.
Geb's expression was a hair less friendly and supportive than ever before. "It is Council policy to never give Mages assignments where their personal interests are involved. You know that."
Council policy! Suddenly, he understood Diana's anger and frustration with the Council. He would do a far better job dealing with Janus than any other Mage!
In fact, that was exactly what he'd do.
He shoved his chair back and stood. "I don't give a flying fuck about Council policy! I care about my lifemate, and I care about making Janus pay for what he did to her. And I care about my sister, and making sure Janus doesn't have a chance to destroy her brain like he did Carla's!"
Geb stood, too, his figure just as imposing as Grandpa's had ever been. "Then, Mage Gwynvid, you do it without Balance assistance. And you do it at the cost of your Mage status."
"Fine!" Win strode out of the office on a surge of adrenaline.
Dee guessed she wasn't really being moved along by a wind. It was more like a movie, with the camera panning scenery until they arrived in another town, another apartment. A slightly older version of little Dee greeted her. Once again she was sitting at a table, a scarred, faded Formica-topped one with rusty chrome legs. She was sobbing.
Mom was dressed in the short skirt and form-fitting sweater she often wore as a cocktail waitress, and she was cooking again. Dee had always watched Mom cook dinner, and often it was the only time they talked all day.
"Are you any good at kickball?" Mom asked, her voice hard like always when talking to Dee.
Little Dee sniffled. "Uh-uh. I can't run real fast, and usually I kick the ball right at somebody."
"Well then, I don't blame the other kids for not wanting you on their teams."
"But... but it's not fair!"
Mom snorted. "Yeah, like that matters in this world." She slapped some food on a plate and set it on the table. "Let me give you a piece of advice, kid. Stop expecting the world to be fair, and it'll be a whole lot easier for you to survive."
Little Dee hunched over her plate and jammed a huge forkful of food into her mouth. She didn't look up until her plate was empty.
The picture zoomed out and panned to another town, a larger one this time, with a busy main street and a river running through a sprawling park. The apartment was a little nicer, a little less battered than the earlier ones. Again, it was a dinner scene, but this time, her childish self was laughing. "It was so funny - you should have seen her!"
Mom snapped off the burner and faced Dee. "Diana Minerva Plaas, I'm ashamed of you! That poor girl ruined her dress and ended up in the mud, and you laughed at her?"
"But Mom, Raquel is the snottiest girl in school! Last week she stuck her foot out and tripped me. She's always telling everybody I'm a - a - that bad word you hate."
"It doesn't matter how awful a person is, it's wrong to be happy when something bad happens to them." Turning her back, she poured the macaroni-and-cheese into a bowl. "You are a bastard, Dee, and there's nothing you can do about it."
Her lower lip sticking out, little Dee said, "She would have laughed if it was me."
"Maybe so, but that doesn't matter. Now I want you to stand in the corner and imagine being her and having that happen to you. What do you suppose it felt like?"
Dee remembered this incident. She'd spent half an hour in the corner, and Mom had eaten both their shares of dinner - Dee's very favorite dish, too. She'd said that missing a meal might teach Dee a lesson.
It had. The next day, she'd told Raquel she was sorry about her dress and the mud. Raquel had stared at her for a minute, as if waiting for the punch line. When it hadn't come, she'd said, "Thanks." Within a couple of days, though, Dee had heard her talking about "the bastard" again.
As the picture panned across the dry plateau on the way to another town, Dee realized the lasting effect that one incident had had on her. Carla was an older version of Raquel, someone who felt entitled to look down at others and take whatever she wanted. Yet Dee cared, deeply and sincerely, about Carla's welfare, even if she couldn't stand the woman herself.
She realized Mom's lessons had been harsh, but they'd stuck. How much more miserable would she have been as she grew up if she'd kept expecting life to be fair? Good grief, she could have turned into a real bitch, if Mom hadn't taught her to put herself in others' shoes.
Okay, so Mom was a smart lady. That didn't mean she loved Dee, like Goddess claimed. How many nights had Dee waited, hoping Mom would come and tuck her in? Maybe even kiss her goodnight?
Way too many.
Suddenly the panning stopped, but not in a residential area. Then the picture zoomed in, and she was in a building, a dark, noisy room smelling of cigarette smoke, old grease, and stale perfume. Music came from somewhere nearby, too-loud, too-fast music with a twangy country-western sound.
Dee recognized the place now. It was a popular steakhouse in the town where they'd lived when she was about ten. Little Dee wasn't in sight. Mom was there, though, all dolled up with jewelry and makeup and a tight dress cut low in front.
She shared the round corner booth with Arthur, a flashy salesman she'd met at whichever bar she was working at the time. She was being all cute and coy, letting Arthur feed her shrimp cocktail and nuzzle close. Just watching their performance made Dee want to throw up. She could just imagine what crude suggestions Arthur was whispering in Mom's ear.
When the shrimp was gone, Arthur put down the fork and took Mom's hand in his. "I told you there was a special reason for this celebration, Barbie doll."
Oh, gaak! Mom hated that nickname! Because of it, she hadn't even let Dee have a Barbie doll to play with, like all the other girls.
"What is it, Artie?" Mom batted her eyes and looked expectant, like she thought he might be getting ready to propose.
He flourished a pair of airline tickets. "Cancun, here we come!"
"Cancun! How exciting! When?"
"We leave tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? But..."
"Don't worry about packing. I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe when we get there." He waved the pesky details away.
Mom shook her head. "I can't go away, just like that! What about Dee?"
He shrugged. "Drop her off at one of those places."
"What places?"
"Those... well, I guess they call them homes."
"You mean an orphanage?" She slid away from Arthur, her voice shrill and loud.
He said, "Hush," and put his fingers across her lips. "I'm just thinking of you, Barbie doll... Maybe you made a mistake when you were sixteen, but that doesn't mean you have to be saddled with that chubby little brat for the rest of your life." He leaned closer. "Think how much fun we'll have in Cancun...and for the rest of our lives."
Mom opened her mouth and bit Arthur's fingers. He yelped and pulled his hand back.
Eyes blazing, Mom said, "Maybe Dee isn't the prettiest little girl ever born, but she's got a good heart and a good mind. I would no more let someone take my little girl away than I'd cut off my right arm. The fact you'd even think of something that low-down and mean shows me just what kind of man you are!"
She slid out the other side of the booth, then bent over the table, a nasty smile on her face. "You know what Dee calls you behind your back? She calls you Smartie- Artie-Fartie, and she's got you pegged." She turned on her heel and sashayed out of the restaurant.
As the wind carried Dee away, she remembered Mom trying to scold her for calling him that. She always started laughing in the middle, though, and ended up just shaking her head and walking away.
"So, Adept?" Goddess demanded suddenly. "Still convinced she doesn't love you?"
The quick answer, the one she'd been sure of her whole life, suddenly didn't feel so sure.
**
The adrenaline lasted until Win opened the door to his suite. The suite he'd shared with Diana. The suite that was his because he was Guardian Pro Tem of this region.
Was? Or had been?
Had Geb meant he'd be kicked out of the Stronghold? If he was, if he truly lost his Mage status, he wouldn't have anywhere to go.
Well, no, that wasn't true. He could go home. Mom and Dad would give him and Mr. Bill a place to live. Dad would even offer him a job. Since Dad had insisted that Win learn about the financial world as well as the world of the Balance, he could make a good living that way.
Except rescuing Su from Janus wasn't something a financial advisor could do. He had to be a Mage and use magick at least long enough to do that.
Oh, Goddess! He'd have to give up magick!
Just the thought made him feel empty, as if he had a big hole in his middle. It also reminded him of the loss that really mattered. Diana.
He shook those thoughts away. Assuming Diana had been right about Janus's intentions, he didn't have time for any nonsense.
All right. The first order of business was to protect himself from anyone who wanted to stop him, Council member or not. He went to the computer and typed, "System, activate Guardian voice recognition at this station."
"Please identify yourself," the system replied.
"Mage Gwynvid, Guardian Pro Tem of Ocean Magick."
"Voice identified."
"Please disable the console in the Guardian's office," he ordered.
"Console disabled. Would you like the results of the archive searches you requested earlier?"
"Not quite yet. First, I want you to secure this suite from intrusion, both external and internal."
"Done."
He swallowed and licked his lips. "Disable the Council override."
"Mage Gwynvid, that override exists for the safety of the Guardian." The system's voice was just as mechanical as ever, but Win thought he heard a note of protest in it.
"I realize that. In place of that override, the following persons may be allowed access to this suite: Healer Sulis..."
But he couldn't rely on Su still being okay. He had to give someone else access, someone he could trust to be on his side. Grandma? No. Grandpa was a Council member. Dad! "And former Mage Apprentice Ra."
But what about Diana? What if Ganesha was right, and she was just missing, not lost forever somewhere in the astral plane? "Also Adept Diana," he murmured.
"Is there anyone else, Mage Gwynvid?" This time the voice sounded...hopeful.
"No. No one else." For the first time in his life, he was truly on his own.
It had to be his imagination, but the system sounded sorry when it said, "Override disabled."
"You can show me the results of the archive searches now," he said, settling into the chair.
He had work to do.
**
Could Dee have been wrong all these years? Did Mom actually love her?
Well, Mom had never said she loved her or was proud of her. She'd hardly ever hugged her - only a few times Dee could recall.
But Mom wasn't a toucher, and not much of a talker, either. Her conversation was usually limited to the essentials. When she was with a man she was dating, she touched him and sometimes talked what she referred to as silly talk. She hadn't liked it, though. Dee had often heard her after dates grumbling to herself about this guy always wanting to be told how great he was, or that guy wanting her to pat and stroke him, like he was a pet dog instead of a grown man.
A mom should show her child she loves her. Kids don't just automatically understand these things. They need...
Dee realized she was doing it again. Expecting life to be fair. Yeah, Mom probably should have shown Dee more open affection when she was little, but she hadn't and nothing was going to change that. But there had been other ways she made Dee feel unwanted. Unloved.
Hadn't there?
Sure there had. Like constantly telling Dee how fat and unattractive she was. Maybe she'd done it so Dee would try to watch her weight, would try to make herself pretty, but all it had done was make her eat more and not care about how her hair looked or keeping her clothes neat.
So Mom made a mistake. Maybe she didn't understand how Dee reacted to criticism. Mom always faced life straight on. Dee couldn't remember a time when Mom had tried to make anything seem better than it was. She was the most complete realist Dee had ever seen.
But Dee hadn't ever accepted life like her mom did, because it had been easier, ever since she was little, to blame someone else for her problems.
Now that she thought of it, Mom hadn't been the one to tell her she was fat and ugly. She'd said Dee ate a lot, and that Dee didn't take care of her clothes and should comb her hair more often and stuff like that. The kids at school were the ones who said she was fat and ugly, and then Dee went home and told Mom.
Mom hadn't ever said they were wrong. Maybe that's why it had seemed like she was saying all the hurtful things.
What Dee had really wanted, of course, was to be reassured. To be told that no, she wasn't fat and ugly, she was big-boned. But Mom was a proponent of calling a spade a spade and moving on. So she hadn't given Dee empty reassurances.
So Mom had taught her some important lessons, now that she thought about it. And the events she'd revisited showed that Mom had protected and cared for her in ways that little Dee had never known.
Because of Mom, Dee had gotten tough. She'd become self-reliant and she'd learned to deal with the Raquels and Carlas of the world. Also because of Mom's teaching, she'd learned to care about other people. Even the ones who treated her poorly were still human beings worthy of respect.
Suddenly, she felt light, as if she'd let go of something heavy that weighed on her, some burden she'd carried for a long time.
"All right, Goddess, I believe you. Mom loved me."
"That's a good first step, Adept."
"A first step? What do you mean?"
"To taking your proper role in the world."
"My proper role? I'm dead, Goddess!"
"You're not dead! Whatever... oh, never mind. I suppose that idea makes some amount of sense, given how little you understand overall."
"Well, how do you expect me to understand anything? Nobody will answer my questions, or they don't know the answers or...or...oh, forget it!" She should know better than to expect a straight answer from Goddess.
Goddess was silent so long that Dee was afraid She'd gone away again. "If I'm not dead, then where am I?"
"You're lost in the astral plane. When you Coerced Mage Gwynvid into letting go of you, you came loose from Janus's web and went flying in the opposite direction of where you needed to go. If I hadn't started guiding your flight, you'd be where even I couldn't get you back from."
"But I can go back?" That was the only important question. To see Win again...
"Certainly. Why would I waste My time and resources - nearly unlimited though they are - on you otherwise?"
So why not just explain how Dee could get back? "What do I do? I need to get back right away! Win must be so worried, and what's happened with Sulis? Has Janus done anything to her yet?"
"We will do this My way, Adept," Goddess said in Her lava-freezing voice.
Dee pushed down her questions and her impatience. Goddess was Goddess, and there was no point in annoying Her further. In fact, expressing her gratitude would be a good idea right now. "Thank you for saving me, Goddess." She did her best to sound humble and grateful. Well she was. Grateful, at least.
"You're welcome, Adept. Now, as I said before you so rudely interrupted, accepting that your mother loves you is a good first step toward taking your proper place in the world."
Dee stayed silent, afraid to ask what the other steps might be. After a moment, Goddess continued, "You must also dedicate your life to My service."
Was that an ultimatum? Was dedicating her life to Goddess the price of returning to Win?
It didn't matter. She couldn't promise something she couldn't follow through on. "I'm sorry, Goddess. I can't do that. You manipulate lives for your own amusement, not out of any interest in doing good."
"You think to anger Me, Adept. Instead, I insist that you attempt to prove your assertion."
"All right. You gave me the life You did, just so You could watch me struggle to overcome it."
"Wrong, Adept. I chose the circumstances of your birth to some extent, that is true. But I gave you a mother who would help you learn the hard lessons that were necessary. I did it not out of a desire to entertain Myself, but out of the need to mold you into someone extraordinarily strong. Strong enough to fight and defeat evil, day after day until you die."
"That's why I was born? To fight evil? Don't I deserve to have a decent life, too?" Was she whining?
"Certainly," She replied. "That's why I gave you Mage Gwynvid as your lifemate."
Well, having Win as her mate was incredibly great... "But You didn't give other people anywhere near as difficult lives." Her voice sounded even more whiny now. Dee was reminded of her conversation with Sarasvati. "I know I'm not supposed to feel like that. Sarasvati and Win and everybody had problems, too, but..."
"You are an Adept. You have powers that dwarf theirs. As I told you the first time We talked, it was necessary for you to learn how and when to use your powers."
Goddess's words made more sense now than they had two months ago. But still...
"Adept, can you think of nothing but yourself?" Goddess demanded. "I could show you..."
**
Win glared at the screen, where only superficial information was displayed. He'd thought there would be some information on how to defeat Janus's web in the archives. However, the system had only found a few references to the subject, and none of those had gone much past describing how the web seemed to work. One reference had been to a book that supposedly detailed how to create a web, but the Balance only owned one tattered copy, and that section was missing.
He'd found hints that there was one way of defeating Janus's web, though. The records in the archives indicated that no spell had ever been known to persist past the death of the spell caster. So, kill Janus and the web would disintegrate.
Kill Janus.
Win had spent years training to be a Mage. Any number of his classes had presupposed that he would, on occasion, be sent on a mission to kill someone. But Janus wasn't the nameless faceless evil Win had always imagined as his target. Janus had sat in Win's office just yesterday afternoon.
Win knew that shouldn't matter. And it wouldn't, when he was there, facing Janus.
He wouldn't let it matter now, either.
To kill Janus, Win would need to be on that South Pacific island. He had seen enough of the hut while linked with Diana to transport there. But then the same web that trapped Diana's astral body would trap Win's physical body. Wouldn't it?
How big was the web? Did it cover the palm trees on the beach?
Too bad the island wasn't part of this region. Bedrock would know all about the web.
[What know?] Bedrock asked, as if it had been called.
[Sorry. Wishful thinking.]
[Want know about island?]
[Yeah. But it's not in this region.]
[Know some about other. Where?]
That was another problem. [I'm not sure. All I know is what I saw when I was linked with Diana.]
[Show.]
It couldn't hurt, he supposed. He played back the view he'd had through Diana's eyes while they were linked. It hadn't varied, since she was so completely stuck that she couldn't shift her vantage point even minimally.
The scene outside the hut had seemed pretty generic to Win. Sunshine, blue sky, flat beach, with just those two palm trees to make it the slightest bit recognizable. He looked again, straining for more. Okay, the air smelled kind of strange. Salty, but not fishy, hot and redolent with earthy scents of plants he didn't know. The sand was pearly white, tiny, iridescent grains of broken coral, not like on any beach he'd ever been to. Bedrock wasn't likely...
[Found.]
[You found the island, Bedrock?]
[Not hard. What want know now?]
Everything. Except if he told Bedrock that, he'd be drowning in data for the next week. [Can you show me the island? And where the hut is?]
Maps poured into his head. Where the island fit in the world, the hemisphere, and the region. Then the island itself. [Must ask. Wait.]
Who was Bedrock asking? Not the Council, Win hoped! If so, Bedrock would be told to stop supplying him data.
Win studied the maps carefully. At least he knew now where Janus and Su were.
If he had to, he could transport to an island that was less than a mile from the one where they were, then work his way close enough to save Su.
He didn't need easy. He needed doable.
**
Goddess said, "I will show you. Look..."
A whirlwind of faces spun before her, small faces with enormous, staring eyes, hollow cheeks, pinched mouths. The faces became individuals, children with bloated bellies, with filthy skin covered with sores, with open, weeping wounds from fire and shrapnel.
The children became indistinct as women appeared, their faces with empty hopeless eyes, their bodies gaunt and bleeding. She saw them beaten, raped, butchered...
Stop! Oh, please, make it stop!
"Look," Goddess said again, her voice without mercy.
An auto accident, and another and another, each violent, each fatal, and she remembered the Oregon family she'd read about recently whose mother and two daughters were killed by drunk drivers, in separate auto accidents decades apart.
A hospital room, where a scrawny, hairless child tried bravely to cheer parents who knew their time with her was measured in days...
Even though she had no body, Dee wept.
The whirling, heart-rending scenes faded and a familiar child appeared, herself. She was nine years old and it was her birthday. There was a package on the table, one wrapped in used paper, but still pretty. Still full of promises.
Dee wanted a charm bracelet, a nice silver one with pretty charms, more than anything. She'd asked for one at Christmas, but hadn't gotten it. She'd been hinting for months, still hoping.
She hadn't asked for a gold bracelet, like lots of the other girls had, because she knew it was way too expensive. But silver didn't cost as much, at least she thought it didn't.
The package was way bigger than a charm bracelet needed, but maybe Mom had put the small box inside a bigger one, to make it a real surprise. She opened it slowly, careful not to tear the paper, because wrapping paper cost money.
Dee couldn't remember what had been in the package. All she could remember was that she'd looked at it and pushed it aside. It hadn't been a charm bracelet. That was all that mattered. "I hate being poor," she'd said.
That was too much for Mom. She grabbed the toy out of Dee's hand, took Dee in her other hand, and dragged her out of the apartment. "You hate being poor, do you? Well, missy, you don't know the first thing about being poor!"
They walked for what seemed like a long time on a bone-chilling cold day before Mom knocked on the front door of a house. The house looked like it would fall down on them any second, and it smelled of sickness and awful food.
A couple of pale children in clothes that didn't fit answered the door. Mom said, "My daughter has a toy she doesn't want. Would one of you like it?"
More children gathered around, all of them staring at the unopened toy in wonder. "Give it to Jimmy," one of them whispered and they all nodded.
They took Dee and her mom by the hand and led them inside, to a bed made out of an old packing box. Jimmy was tiny and weak and twisted with some awful disease, but he smiled at them. Mom handed the toy back to Dee and she gave it to Jimmy, wishing she could heal him, instead.
After they left, Mom said, "Those people are poor, and they're sick. Compared to them and to most of the world's population, you're a very lucky little girl. I never want to catch you feeling sorry for yourself again."
The vision of herself hurrying after Mom, struggling not to cry or Mom might give away all her toys, finally faded. Dee told Goddess, "I learned not to ask for more than my share, right then."
"Did you?"
"Of course." But had she? Or had she only shoved the wanting more down deep inside where no one but herself knew about it?
Barry had been a real stinker, but he'd given her a house most women would die for, enough clothes for ten women, and an enviable social position. She'd wanted his love, his respect, his fidelity.
Then she met Win, the most gorgeous, the most wonderful man in the world. And he claimed to love her, fat and all.
Most women would have thought themselves way beyond lucky.
All she could do was wonder how long it would be before he abandoned her for someone sexier, skinnier, prettier. Like Carla.
Instead he'd introduced her to the world of Magick. A world where she mattered. Where she was important because she had magickal talents herself. People looked up to her, respected her. Honored her.
And all she could do was let that needy, pathetic little girl cry for more.
Dee nearly choked on her shame. "Oh, Goddess, I'm so sorry! I've been so blind!"
"Yes, you have, Adept. All of those poor beleaguered souls are under My care. They are the reason you were born at this time. Serving Me is how you can help them the most."
"I want to help them," Dee said. "I always wished I could truly make a difference in the world."
"You can, Adept. You are named Diana because you will be the huntress of evil and the protector of children, and Minerva for your use of intelligence and reason."
"You named me?"
"I did. That was one of the few messages I've given Janus since Luna's death that he properly interpreted."
She paused for a moment, then asked, "Adept, are you finally ready to fulfill your destiny and dedicate your life to My service?"
The answer came to Dee's lips unbidden. "Yes, Goddess, I am." Without even the slightest hesitation, and with total commitment, she said, "Goddess, I praise You and I thank You for Your endless guidance, forgiveness, and love. I am now and will forever be Your servant. My life is dedicated to Your cause and is Yours to command."
Peace and a sense of wonder filled her. It was followed by the tingling she remembered from being in the Ritual Ground and the Bedrock Vault. The tingling was much more intense than ever before.
Goddess was so much more than she'd ever realized!
And she, Diana Minerva Plaas Sayre, was part of Goddess's plan! Diana, not Dee.
"Goddess, thank you! Thank you for not giving up on me!"
"I suggest you save your gratitude for later, Adept. Right now, it would be wise to find your way back to your lifemate and begin to serve Me."
Diana felt her astral body move again, and this time it felt like she was returning from a regular astral walk.
Could it be? WAS she returning to her body?
Oh, YES! She felt herself settling into the body she'd always hated. She would never hate it again!
Only her body wasn't where she'd left it, in the suite at Ocean Magick. It was up a tree.
Literally.
Mr. Bill sat on the arm of the sofa as Win paced. When Win looked at him, he opened his mouth as if to meow, but didn't make any noise. Win paused and looked at him. Bill did it again.
"What's the matter, Bill? What happened to your voice?"
Bill didn't answer. Of course he didn't. He was a cat, and he probably didn't have the slightest idea what Win was asking him. Besides which he'd apparently lost his voice.
Great. Diana had owned Mr. Bill for years and he'd been just fine. Now Win had inherited him, and the cat broke within the first few hours. What was he supposed to do now?
[Other give more data,] Bedrock announced. A detailed map of the island appeared in Win's mind, followed by images that might be from a Watcher.
[Who is Other?]
[Other... like Bedrock. Not tell Guardian.]
Oh! So Bedrock could contact other Bedrocks and they could share data! Apparently without the Guardians of the regions involved knowing anything about it, to boot. Win wondered if Mage Llyr, with his study of Bedrock, knew any of that.
[Other say avoid place lifemate was. Bad magick there.]
Win hadn't even wanted to ask about Janus's net, afraid the Bedrocks couldn't help him. [Where is the bad magick? Just inside the hut, or a larger area?]
[Other show.] The detailed map of the island popped to the top in his mind. A glowing line similar to the Barrier appeared surrounding the hut by about five feet.
[Other sorry. Need Guardian defuse bad magick.]
The web could be defeated? That didn't help Win, but it might help someone in the Balance someday. He had to pass on the information he'd gained.
He had to say goodbye to his family, too. Just because he could transport to the island and avoid being caught in Janus's web didn't mean he would survive. Other than not being able to save Su, he didn't really care. Without Diana, life wasn't worth fighting for.
[That's okay, Bedrock. Tell Other I understand. And thank you for helping.]
[Want help. All want help.]
All the Bedrocks wanted to help him? Why?
He sat down in front of the computer. "System, create a new message for delivery in three hours. Recipients Guardian Ogma, Priestess Aradia, and from my personal address book, Mom and Dad. I'll type the text."
The blank message appeared on the screen and Win just stared at it for a minute, not sure he could go any further. But stopping now was pointless, so he took a deep breath and started to type:
Dear Family,
I can't possibly explain everything that's happened tonight. I know Sarasvati and Geb have probably already told you all that they know. So I'll stick with the parts they don't know.
As soon as I finish this message, I'm going to transport to the island where Janus has taken Su. I'll attach a map so you can find it later.
He's using a web to keep from being interrupted, and that's how - well, I'm sure you know that part already. This leads me to the two really important things that I've learned for the future of the Balance.
One is that the Bedrocks can communicate and share data without the Guardians of those regions knowing.
The other is that a region's Guardian and its Bedrock can work together somehow to neutralize the web. I don't know how this works, but the other Bedrock said it could be done.
I will do my utmost to save Su from Janus. I know the Balance believes she's gone with him of her own free will, but I'm convinced otherwise. She hasn't behaved like herself for days. Now that we know how Janus can mess with people's minds, I'm sure he's done it to her, too.
Grandma and Grandpa, I'm deeply sorry for going against the Balance like this. I've always believed implicitly in everything it stands for, but I can't let Su be lost because of what I consider to be a gigantic mistake. I love both of you, and I want you to know I'm proud to have served Goddess.
Mom, I love you, too. You've been so wonderful to me always, but especially when I decided to join the Balance. I know you would have preferred for me to remain in the regular world, but you've supported my choice completely. Thank you.
And Dad, I love you. I'm not sorry I joined the Balance, but I wish I'd talked with you more about why you didn't want me to do it. I hope I've made you proud. That's what I've wanted my whole life.
If I don't make it back by the time you get this message, I'm afraid I won't be back. That's okay, really. I'm not sure I could stand to live without Diana. I want to make it back, to keep doing whatever I can to serve Goddess for the rest of my life, but maybe I won't.
You need to know I locked everyone out of my suite at Ocean Magick so they couldn't keep me from using the system to plan my attack on Janus's island. Diana's cat, Mr. Bill, is locked in here. Mom, I hope you'll take good care of him for us.
The only people the system will allow to enter the suite other than me are Diana, Su, and Dad. Dad, I'm sorry to force you into Balance politics like this, but I didn't feel I had a choice. Identify yourself as former Mage Apprentice Ra, and the system will let you in.
I could keep on writing for a long time and never manage to say everything I want to say. But I need to go. Every minute increases the chances of Janus destroying Su's mind. I can't let that happen.
Thank you all for everything. I love you all incredibly.
Tears dripped unheeded onto the keyboard as Win re- read his message. It didn't say enough, but could he ever express how he felt right now?
No, never. He quickly attached a map of the island's location and pressed the Send button.
He looked up at Mr. Bill, sitting next to the computer. "I'm sorry, buddy. I know I promised I'd take care of you, but there's something I have to do first. I hope I'll be back with Su in a little while. If not, my mom will take care of you. I know she seems kind of strange at first, but you couldn't possibly have a nicer mom."
He wrapped his arms around the cat and buried his face in Bill's fur. Bill let himself be hugged for a few seconds, then squirmed politely. "You're right, buddy. This isn't very macho." Win sat up and wiped his face.
Time to go.
He stood, took several deep breaths, and visualized the two palm trees on Janus's island. Then he pushed.
Heat hit him like a sledgehammer.
**
Diana had never been the slightest bit athletic, and she wasn't overly fond of heights. So being in the top of a palm tree, wearing a Balance robe and sandals, wasn't her idea of a good time.
On the other hand, she was alive, and she wasn't caught in Janus's web any longer. That more than made up for the negatives of her current location.
Besides, the palm tree she was in was on the island where Janus and Sulis were. It was one of the two trees she'd stared at while she was stuck in the web, in fact. Luckily there was a sort of scooped-out place here amid the palm fronds where she felt safe.
Another big plus was that she wouldn't have to climb down the she-didn't-even-want-to-imagine-how-many- feet-to-the-ground. She could simply transport out of the tree when she was ready.
She wasn't ready yet, though. She had no desire to get caught in Janus's web again, and the safest way to keep out of it was to stay in the tree for the time being.
Unfortunately, she was too far above the hut to be able to see inside. So she increased the sensitivity of her hearing enough to learn what was going on.
"Sulis, my sweet, there's nothing more I can explain about the process." Janus sounded frayed, and as though he was very close to the end of his patience. "Just let me show you."
He must have reached for her, because Sulis said, "Not until we finish talking. Tell me again why you won't go back to the Balance. The things you've learned about brains and how they work would be invaluable to Healer Ganesha's research, and we'd be able to save many lives."
"The Council is incompetent."
"But Dee will join the Balance soon. She'll shake them up."
Diana was eager to hear Janus's response, but before he spoke again, she heard rustling down below her, then a thump and a muffled curse. She moved carefully to where a gap in the branches let her see the ground.
Win was sprawled there at the base of the tree!
[Win!] she mind-spoke, just as he started to his feet.
He fell on his butt. [Diana?]
[Oh, I'm so glad to see you! But what are you doing here?]
He looked all around. [Where are you?]
[Up in the tree. Just look up and I'll wave to you.]
He did. She waved wildly until he finally saw her. [You're really here! They told me you were dead!]
[I thought I was, too. But I was just lost in the astral plane.]
[Oh Diana...]
Suddenly she couldn't stand being apart from him a second longer.
She transported onto his lap and wrapped her arms around her lifemate.
**
Maybe Win had hit his head harder than he'd thought when he tripped on that big clump of undergrowth. Maybe he was unconscious and dreaming about Diana being alive.
He didn't care.
It didn't matter if this wasn't real. Diana had come back to him, and he would never ever let her go again. He hugged her and kissed her and held her and touched her. When he very tentatively reached for her mentally, she welcomed him with passion and enthusiasm into her mind.
[Are you here to save Sulis?] she finally asked.
[Yes. I realized what you said about her changing was true, and I couldn't let Janus destroy her.] Instead he'd destroyed his career.
Because they were linked, he felt her hear that supposedly-private thought and be shocked by it. [What did you do?]
He shook his head. [I'll tell you everything later. We don't have time now. The web only extends about five or ten feet out from the hut, so I figured I'd cause a diversion to get them outside somehow.]
[Lifemate back. Good,] said Bedrock.
[Hello, Bedrock,] Diana said. [I'm glad to be back.]
[Other say lifemate link, defuse bad magick.]
[Bedrock, what are you saying?] he asked. [I thought you said only the Guardian of this region could destroy Janus's web.]
[Lifemate Adept. Adept good as Guardian. Link with all Bedrock.]
[An Adept can do magick with ANY Bedrock?] Win knew the Balance didn't know about this.
[Must make link first.]
Diana asked, [Bedrock, are you saying that if I go to this other Bedrock, it will link with me, and then I can come back and destroy this web?]
[Can go any Bedrock. Adept not like Guardian.]
[Then I'd like to link with you, Bedrock. We already know each other.]
Diana seemed perfectly sure of her decision, but Win remembered how painful the linking process had been when he went through it. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked out loud.
"I have no choice. I'm an Adept. I need to establish a link with the Bedrocks to do my job."
To do her job? Before he managed to speak again, she grinned at him. "Yes, Win. I've dedicated my life to Goddess!"
Oh, great! Right when Win had destroyed his career.
**
Diana sat up, knowing they needed to get busy. "Before you got here, I was listening in on Sulis and Janus. She's being stubborn, and he doesn't like it. I'm afraid he'll decide to do the transformation against her will pretty soon."
"Do you think we have time to go back for you to link with Bedrock?"
"Maybe I should go back by myself, and you should stay here and watch. If something happens before I get back, create a diversion like you'd planned. If Sulis comes outside, you can transport her back to Ocean Magick."
"Maybe I should send her to Cliff Magick, instead. Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't make her leave if she was in danger."
Diana stared at Win. "You think Sarasvati would?"
He pressed his lips together and shook his head slowly. "I'm not sure. Geb's there, too, and... I'd just feel more comfortable if she didn't go there."
Something must be seriously wrong in the Balance for Win to feel this way. Diana knew that fixing it was part of what Goddess intended her to do. "Then you shouldn't send her there. But is it safe for me to go there to link with Bedrock?"
Win asked, [Bedrock, has anyone come to your Vault today?]
[No. Safe for lifemate. Let come right here.]
Right here? [Do you mean I can transport right into the Bedrock Vault? I thought that wasn't allowed.]
[Okay now. For Adept.]
Win raised his eyebrows. "Amazing. You'll stay linked with me?"
"You're going to have to pry me out of your mind from now on, mister!" Oh, it felt good to be where she belonged!
"I won't be doing that," he promised and squeezed her hand. "Be careful, my love."
"You, too." She kissed his cheek, visualized the Bedrock Vault, and transported there.
She placed both hands on Bedrock. [Hello, Bedrock. I am Adept Diana, and I want to establish a link with you and the other Bedrocks. Will you allow that?]
[Will.]
The heaviness of Bedrock filled her mind, making her feel top-heavy and bloated. Knowing it would get worse before it got better, she sagged forward, letting Bedrock support her body.
The pressure inside her head increased, as more and more of Bedrock - of all the Bedrocks? - shoved inside. Her skull seemed to shrink until it surrounded her brain with a vise-like grip.
She wasn't going to make it! [Bedrock...]
[Done soon,] it promised, at the same time increasing the pressure.
Her legs gave way and she almost cheered. She'd lose contact with Bedrock now, and the pain would stop.
Except that didn't happen. Her hands stayed right on Bedrock, as though they were glued in place.
She seemed to pass into a different world then, a blurry world where pain was all and her body an instrument of torture. Time had no meaning. Only pain.
Then, gradually, she became aware of the world around her again. Eventually, the pressure lessened, and with it, the pain.
One final wrench, and Bedrock announced, [Linked now.]
Diana sank down onto the raw stone floor to catch her breath.
**
As soon as Diana left, Win looked for a good position to watch Janus and Su. He needed to be hidden in the undergrowth surrounding the trees, but still able to look into the hut through the rolled-down screens. He could improve his eyesight, but he couldn't see through solid objects.
He finally crawled forward as far as he could and still stay mostly concealed. The undergrowth extended to within fifteen feet of the hut. He didn't dare go closer because of the web, anyway. He had a partial view of the inside of the hut, and he increased his hearing enough to catch nearly all of the conversation.
Su had on a way-too-brief swimsuit. Even considering that he was her brother, Win had to admit it made her look super-hot. Janus couldn't seem to take his eyes off her, so he apparently agreed.
Janus was pissed, too. "What are you waiting for? Just say the word, and we'll be lifemates in a matter of minutes!"
"Look, Janus, we've been here for hours, and all you do is talk about becoming lifemates! I want to get to know you better first - is that such a crime?"
"We don't have time for that! Your brother's likely to show up any minute to drag you home."
She rolled her eyes and punctuated it with a swish of her hips. "Win's not coming after me! He probably hates me for leaving. You're just trying to make me decide."
She put her hands on her hips and bent forward from the waist. "In fact, you're being such a bore I don't even want to get to know you anymore. I want you to take me back." She crossed her arms and tossed her head, clearly consigning him to Hell.
Win knew from experience that once Su had made up her mind, nothing would change it.
Janus smirked at her. "You want me to send you back to Ocean Magick, so they can strip you of your Healer status and toss you out on your very pretty ass?" He might have been talking to a not-too-bright kid.
"You said they'd take me back!" she cried.
He shrugged. "Who knows? They do what they want to. But I've invested a lot of time and trouble in you, young lady. Go sit down." He pointed his finger at her.
Su stiffened, then practically tripped over her own feet scrambling to the nearest chair.
He must have Coerced her. She wouldn't have obeyed a Compulsion that easily.
Janus smiled. "Much better. Now sit right there and don't give me any trouble."
Su sat primly, her hands folded on her lap. She looked about ten years old and not at all like his feisty, independent sister. Win had to do something!
First, he'd tell Diana - no, he wouldn't. She was linking with Bedrock right now and wouldn't hear him, anyway.
Win scanned the surrounding area for possible projectiles. Ah, there was a weathered piece of driftwood. He visualized it floating into the air and flinging itself right through the screened part of the hut, spending the last of its force hitting Janus.
He pushed. The driftwood obediently rose into the air and flew at the screen. It hit the screen with a solid thwack, then fell to the ground.
Janus glanced at the screen, seemingly unconcerned, and turned back to Su.
Win created a rock two feet in diameter and six inches thick and sent that into the screen. It fell to the ground, also.
Janus said, "Sulis dear, you were wrong about your brother. He's come after you. Too bad his magick's no match for mine." He smiled slowly. "But let's give him another little something to drive him nuts."
He waved his hand and Su's bathing suit disappeared, leaving her naked. "Now spread wide, like you were posing for one of the real nasty skin mags."
She obeyed quickly, seemingly eagerly.
Win saw red. Quite literally red. He visualized a giant hand coming out of the sky and ripping off the whole side of the house, including Janus's net. Then, in the next moment, a Balance robe covering Su's body and her being transported to the Ritual Ground at Cliff Magick. He pushed until his whole body cramped with the effort.
A huge black cloud formed in the previously clear blue sky over the hut. The cloud took the shape of a hand. It reached down out of the sky.
Win held his breath. That thing he'd created was more likely to destroy the whole hut - maybe the entire island - than simply rip away the screen.
Then what might be two fingers emerged from the cloud hand. They carefully, almost delicately, pulled away one side of the hut and threw it into the air.
Janus staggered away from that side of the building, leaving Su even more blatantly on display. Win wished he'd thought to have the hand crush Janus, but it was too late. The hand, having done its work, was gone.
Su sat there unmoving, only the whiteness of her face and the terror in her eyes showing that she knew what was going on. Hadn't Win had enough power to transport her to safety?
[Diana... you've got to help...] But even mind- speaking took more power than he had right now. His words sort of faded, like ice melting.
After a long time, a Balance robe appeared to cover Su's nakedness. She slowly became insubstantial, then disappeared.
Win felt the light fading as the sky darkened. Before he could move, something knocked him solidly into the ground.
**
[Diana... you've got to help...] The words were spaced, as if each one had been formed with enormous effort.
Diana sat up. [Win? Win, what is it?]
He didn't answer. When she probed his mind, she found the muted colors that indicated he was very weak.
[Do you need power?] She fed him some through their mind-link, but his body didn't absorb it like it should. Something must be wrong.
She transported back to the island. At least she thought it was the same place. Things were vastly changed. Part of the hut was gone. More precisely, parts of the hut were scattered all over the area, some inside, and some out. The palm fronds looked ragged, like they'd been whipped by a strong wind. The undergrowth was flattened for yards around the hunt.
She saw Janus, partially buried by a pile of rubble inside the hut. Win lay at the base of the other tree, his eyes open. The screen from the hut pinned him to the ground.
She started toward him, but the muted colors of his mind flashed alarmingly. [You don't want me to come closer?]
He agreed. After a bit of effort, she picked the reason out of his mind. The net was still in effect, and he was trapped. If she touched him, she'd be trapped, too.
She'd better use her link with the Bedrocks to destroy the web before she did anything else.
[Bedrock, how do I destroy this web?]
[Must work with Other.]
Another voice, slightly different from Bedrock's, said, [Make good place. Cover bad magick place. Make good again.]
Nice and simple, huh?
Well, it probably wasn't impossible. She just needed to focus on the individual steps.
Make good place. All right. She had to embody good and create a spot that was pure good.
Like the area inside a Stronghold's Boundary! She visualized a section of the ground right outside Ocean Magick, then duplicated it ten feet from the destroyed hut wall. She pushed.
There it was, a grassy spot in the middle of sand.
Cover bad magick place. That had to be the same technique Win had used to extend the Barrier, a careful mental shove.
Oh, dear. Janus was pushing aside the debris that surrounded him. Diana thought about immobilizing him somehow, but she knew nothing about his magickal ability. She'd destroy the web as fast as possible, instead.
She'd better free Win first. Rather than cover all the distance between the hut and Win, she made another good place right next to Win, then covered the entire window screen.
Win immediately shoved the screen away and jumped to his feet. She'd succeeded!
[I'm going to pull power from Bedrock,] he said. [You need yours to get rid of the web.] He jumped as a bolt of magick - a jagged beam of white light that reminded her of a lightning bolt - came within inches of his feet.
A second bolt grazed Win, and he staggered back, losing his footing and collapsing onto the ground. [I'm okay! Don't show yourself!]
[But you're in the open - at least let me transport you somewhere safe.]
[I can defend myself just fine.] His mental voice was grim.
A magick bolt of his own shot out, but it traveled only about ten feet before grounding itself harmlessly. The next one landed two feet from Janus, and lit a small fire.
Where had the power for Janus's bolts come from? He didn't have a Bedrock to pull power from, like Win did.
Or did he?
Diana remembered Janus saying something about stealing power earlier. It had been right when Win linked with her, so she hadn't heard everything he said, but she thought she'd heard him refer to Bedrock.
She'd have to ask the Bedrocks about that. But not right now.
Now it was important to destroy the web.
Just as Janus retaliated with another bolt, Win transported out of his line of sight. [This is just a bad burn, but I'll Heal it. I might need the mobility later.]
How bad a burn? Diana wanted to go to him, to see if she could Heal it. But she couldn't.
Diana turned back to the first good place and started covering every inch of the hut. It was slow methodical work, much like sweeping a floor. She started each mental stroke at the current edge of the good place, extending the good place a scant six or eight inches at a time. If she tried to extend it too far at once, a piece of good place two feet or more in diameter broke off and was immediately swallowed by the evil of the web.
As she worked, she watched Janus carefully sifting through the remains of the glass-fronted bookcase. He picked up and checked each book individually, then placed them in a small pile.
His library of evil magick. Could she spare the power to disintegrate them, once and for all?
But maybe they couldn't be ruined. They might be magickally protected somehow, and trying to harm them might set loose a horrible spell. She couldn't take the chance.
Then the chance was taken away from her. The pile of books disappeared, probably sent into safekeeping by Janus.
That likelihood increased when Janus started out of the hut. He called, "Now Mage, you wouldn't be noble Ra's son if you'd run when you had the chance. Show yourself and give me a real fight."
Diana glanced over and saw Win's hands gripped around his right calf. He hadn't managed to Heal himself yet.
[I'm going to show myself,] she said.
[No! Let him come after me! I'm not helpless!] But his mental voice showed his pain.
[Neither am I.]
She transported into the open area the other direction from where Win was. "Hey, Janus!"
He spun around to face her. For a second, he showed his shock, but then he laughed. "Well, well, well! So you managed to get loose after all! And now you're trying to protect your lifemate. How incredibly charming..."
"And foolish!" He transported to where she'd been.
She'd moved just outside the hut.
He shot a bolt at her and she transported again.
[Bad magick gone,] the other Bedrock announced.
[Win, the web's been destroyed. Can you transport behind him while he's distracted with me?] She found she didn't want to say the words, but that was foolish. Janus was evil. [Kill him, Win. Kill him for every person he's ever hurt.] Including her mother.
She yelled, "You didn't deserve my mother!" and transported into the middle of the hut. She froze, trying to look like she'd been caught in the web.
Janus laughed. "Did you forget something, Diana dear? Let me come and put you out of your misery."
When he appeared, he held a black athame in his hands. "You should feel honored, Diana. I haven't used this since I dispatched Luna's killers with it. It's only fitting that I kill my only daughter with it, isn't it?"
Where was Win? He hadn't answered her, but that hadn't alarmed her at the time.
She could save herself. All she had to do was Coerce Janus into using the athame on himself.
Assuming he could be Coerced.
Janus laughed and shouted out, "I'm surprised at you, Mage. I'd expect you to come barreling in here to save your lifemate, not even caring about the web that would trap you."
"Here I am, Janus!" Win shouted, appearing in mid- jump, his gleaming athame brandished.
Janus dodged out of Win's path, but tripped and fell.
Win whipped around and leapt on Janus, then slit his throat.
Janus was dead within moments.
**
Win and Diana transported back to Ocean Magick, the adrenaline in Win's bloodstream dead-ending as he realized what was waiting for him. Losing his Mage status and being forced to leave the Balance had seemed less awful earlier. That was because he'd thought Diana was gone for good. Nothing could be worse than that.
Well, what was done was done, and he didn't regret a thing. Maybe he and Diana could be the first lifemates to straddle the world of the Balance and the regular world. Wherever he went, whatever he did, he would serve Goddess in his own way. She'd brought Diana back to him, after all.
Once in their suite, he immediately told the computer, "System, Mage Gwynvid here. Please unsecure this suite."
"Done. Mage Gwynvid, Guardian Geb has requested that he be informed of your return."
Might as well get it over with. "Fine. Tell him I'll meet him in my... the Guardian's office... in ten minutes."
Diana was watching him, concern on her face. "How's your leg?"
His leg? "Oh. It's fine."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I finished with it about when you told me the web was gone." Then he remembered the delay before he followed her into the hut. "When I saw he had his athame, I knew I might need mine to kill him. I figured he'd posture for a while, and anyway, you could have handled him, if you'd had to." He felt no jealousy about Diana's powers now. Only gratitude.
"Oh. I was worried your leg might be worse than you said."
He shook his head. "Nope. Listen, I'm going to grab a quick shower and then go downstairs. You can stay up here."
"You're my lifemate, Win. I wouldn't think of making you face them alone."
**
Diana couldn't possibly have been prouder of Win. He strode into the Guardian's office as if he'd always owned it and would always own it.
Geb and Sarasvati sat in chairs on the visitors' side of the console. Win barely paused before taking his accustomed place. As Diana sat down next to him, he said, "First, I need to know about Su. Have you heard from my grandparents? Is Su okay?"
Sarasvati said, "It appears so. She... shows some signs of mental trauma, but she's responding well to initial treatment."
Win nodded. "Good. Then I accomplished what I intended to. And as you can see, your pessimism regarding Diana was unwarranted."
"It wasn't unwarranted," Sarasvati said. "Her return is a miracle, and only due to Goddess's grace."
Twenty-four hours ago, Diana would have sneered at a similar statement. Now she stayed silent, knowing it was the literal truth.
Win looked Geb straight in the eye. "Guardian Geb, what do you require from me? Do you want my resignation, or will I be expelled?"
Geb shook his head. "Neither. The Council has requested that I formally apologize to you on their behalf. We are guilty of having judged this situation too hastily, based on too little information. We should not have discounted the input we received from you and Adept Diana. We apologize, and we ask that you forgive us."
[Did he just say what I think he did?] Win asked.
[Yes, he did.] Good thing, too. Diana had been ready to walk away from the Balance if they'd persisted in their folly.
Win nodded slightly and with dignity, while wanting to shout his relief and joy. "I forgive you. But I think you should give Diana a seat on the Council. She's a lot more level-headed than the rest of you seem to be."
[Win!] Had he forgotten that he was the one who was always obedient to the Council's every pronouncement?
Geb chuckled. "Inviting Diana to be on the Council was going to be my next order of business - right after asking you to become the permanent Guardian of Ocean Magick."
Diana felt her mouth fall open. They'd wanted him to have more experience as a Mage first, hadn't they?
Win grinned. "I accept. And Diana will accept her seat on the Council, too. Right, Diana?"
To her horror, she couldn't reply. He'd caught her right in the middle of a huge yawn. Try as she might, she couldn't stop yawning long enough to answer.
After a moment, Sarasvati laughed. "I think perhaps you two should get some sleep before doing anything else."
"I agree," Win said, and he transported them right to bed.
**
Some number of hours later, the phone rang beside their bed. Win muttered, "Answer phone," and rolled over. [This had better be good,] he mind-spoke to Diana.
"Mage Gwynvid? Mage Llyr here, from Outback Magick."
Diana spoke up. "It's Guardian Gwynvid now, Mage Llyr."
"Oh! I hadn't heard. Congratulations, Guardian. Nice to speak with you again, Adept."
"Thank you, Mage," Win said, his eyes open just a slit. It was sunny outside and the sun reminded him of that awful island. "I assume you're calling for a reason?"
"What? Oh, yes. Yes, I am. About the data overflow problem Adept Diana was having, I was wondering - what if she tried linking with Bedrock herself? It's just a theory, but -"
Win spoke quickly, before the man could get into the details of the theory. "Just a moment, Mage."
Diana had her fist in her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. She struggled to hold it all inside, but it finally bubbled over. "I'm sorry, Mage. Your theory is an excellent one, and you simply must come to visit us at Ocean Magick in the near future. We have more data for you about Bedrock than you could possibly imagine."
"You do? What type -"
Win cut him off again. "Goodbye, Mage Llyr. We'll talk with you tomorrow. System, hang up the phone and do not disturb us until tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow morning?" Diana asked with a wicked grin.
"That's right," he said, his mouth suddenly dry. "Assuming you still want to have anything to do with me after I killed your father." He laughed, but it didn't sound very convincing to his ears.
Diana looked at him, her expression much more serious than he would have hoped for. She thought for a minute, and it was all Win could do not to take back the question.
Why had he asked? If he hadn't asked, they could have pretended everything was okay. Now they couldn't.
"Janus was an evil man," she said finally. "Someone had to kill him."
"I know," he said, squirming inside in misery. "But it shouldn't have been me."
"Why not?" she asked. "You and I were the only ones who were there. If one of us hadn't killed him, he might have gotten away and done any number of awful things before he was stopped. Anyway, I asked you to kill him. Don't you remember that?"
"Well, sure. But that was in the middle of everything. He was your father. It makes sense you'd hate me for killing him."
"You think I hate you? For that?" She seemed amazed.
"Well, sure."
She shook her head. "I don't hate you! I couldn't hate you! And even if I could, it wouldn't be because of that. Janus wasn't my father, not in the way you're thinking. True, he gave me life, along with my mom, but that's all he ever did."
She paused, seeming to search for words. "I'm glad I met him, but only because now I understand where I come from better. And now I realize I was lucky he wasn't around when I was growing up. But that's all."
He searched her face, not quite sure he dared to believe her reassurances.
After close to a minute, she raised her eyebrows and asked, "Did I misunderstand earlier? I thought we were going to make love."
Win laughed. He gave Mr. Bill a shove so he could pull Diana into his arms. Instead of moving, Mr. Bill did the silent meow thing again. Win asked, "Why does he do that? He meowed out loud earlier."
Diana laughed. "It's his you're-ignoring-me-so-I'll-be-pathetic meow. He does it when you're right there but not paying attention to him."
Win picked up the cat and deposited him on the other side of the bed. "Sorry, buddy. There's going to be a lot of that going around for the next twelve hours or so. She might be your mom, but she's my everything."
He set about proving that to her.
THE END
The Balance - a religion that worships Goddess as the creator of everything, and strives to maintain the balance between good and evil.
The High Priestess - the religious head of the Balance.
The Council - the action-oriented head of the Balance, made up of a group of experienced and magickally- powerful leaders.
Guardian - the magickally-powerful individual responsible for the safety and welfare of a region of the world and its inhabitants.
Mage - a magickally-powerful and well-trained person, called upon by the Council to take action against evil.
Healer - a person trained in the art of Healing through the use of Healing magick.
Adept - an extremely rare individual with strong powers in all major areas of magick (Mage magick, Sight, and Healing) in addition to other abilities.
Apprentice - a trainee in either Mage magick or Healing magick.
Stronghold - the home of a Guardian, built and protected with magick, used as a safe haven from evil.
Bedrock - the source of the protective magick and power of a Stronghold.
Lifemate - one person of a couple that Goddess made for each other, they share a single soul.
Bonding - the process by which two lifemates reunite their soul and become one.
Mind-speaking - the ability to speak to another person mentally. Only lifemates and certain pre-puberty siblings can mind-speak across a distance.
Mind-linking - the ability to link minds with another person so that each person's thoughts and sensations are known by the other. Only lifemates can mind- link across a distance.
Compulsion - the ability to force another being to follow one's orders, it is generally forbidden because it violates the other being's free will.
Coercion - the ability that only Adepts have to cause a being or even an object to do one's will. It is not forbidden because Adepts are assumed to have the wisdom to use Coercion only when required.
Astral walking - the process of going to another location with only one's consciousness.
Transporting - the process of moving oneself, others, and/or objects instantaneously to another location, it requires powerful Mage magick.
Visualization - the first step in performing any type of magick, in which a person clearly imagines the desired result.
The Dedication - the oath recited by a person who wishes to join the Balance and do Goddess's work, it is taken initially when one becomes an Apprentice and is frequently recited during rituals. Its meaning is literal: "Goddess, I praise You and I thank You for Your endless guidance, forgiveness, and love. I am now and will forever be Your servant. My life is dedicated to Your cause and is Yours to command."
Cliff Magick - the Stronghold for the region encompassing Oregon, Washington, Idaho, and part of Montana, it is built into a cliff side on the Oregon Coast.
Ocean Magick - the Stronghold for the region of Rhode Island, it is a mansion in Newport and used as a resort for Balance personnel.
Castle Magick - the Stronghold for part of Europe, it is the oldest Stronghold and home to the High Priestess and other important Council members.
Diana (Dee) Sayre - the first Adept in 200 years, recently bonded to her lifemate.
Gwynvid (Win/Winston) Sayre - a young Mage and Diana's lifemate.
Ogma Sayre - the Guardian of Cliff Magick and Win's grandfather.
Aradia Sayre - the Priestess of Cliff Magick, a noted Healer, Ogma's lifemate, and Win's grandmother.
Sulis (Su) Sayre - a Healer and Win's sister.
Shiva - a magickally-powerful follower of the evil Queen, he was Win and Diana's opponent in Magick.
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