Blinded by unexpected radiance, Chen stood blinking in the vast hall of the Ministry of Lust like a foolish owl. Zhu Irzh grabbed him by the arm and dragged him behind a nearby column. As his vision cleared, Chen saw that it was a twirling pink spiral of meat, pulsing in the same unwholesome rhythm as the tunnel through which they had just come. That was when he realized what he had hitherto been only dimly conscious of: the Ministry was alive.
"This row of columns leads to this passage, see?" Underling No was explaining. Chen peered over her shoulder at the map which Zhu Irzh held open, and saw that the huge circular space in which they now stood was clearly depicted.
"Where are we?" he asked.
"This is the main Ministerial chamber of Lust," Zhu Irzh said. "They're on recess now, lucky for us."
"I don't see any seats," Chen said.
Underling No shot him a curious glance, which Chen thought he could interpret as embarrassment. "It's not that sort of Ministerial chamber."
Any explanations that might have been forthcoming were abruptly cut off by the sound of footsteps. Chen and his companions kept very still. Peering cautiously around the side of the pillar, Chen saw two female guards walking past: both tall, willowy demons clad in the minimum of clothing and carrying spears. One of them stared suspiciously at the pillar from emerald compound eyes, but neither of them stopped.
"I think we need to get out of this chamber," Zhu Irzh murmured.
"Does the Ministry itself know we're here?"
"Actually, I doubt it, although it probably knows that we're walking about on it. I don't think it can tell who we are, though, or that we don't belong to it."
"Is it sentient?"
"Not really, as far as I understand it from Daisy. It's apparently highly sensual, but not capable of much actual thought. I mean, if you think about the function of the Ministry, and the bits to which it corresponds—"
"Are you telling me that we're standing in some kind of semi-aware testicle?"
"Basically, yes, in a manner of speaking. Or a kind of womb."
"I don't know why," said Chen, "but I don't find that nearly as repulsive."
Zhu Irzh shrugged. "You can see the Ministry personnel as being sperm or eggs, or both."
"I hesitate to ask," Chen said, "but where do we go now?"
"Upstairs. From this map, and from what Daisy's let slip, the upper stories of the Ministry are where the cells are. It's sort of spongy upstairs, like a hive."
"Where does the Minister actually have his office?"
"Ah," Zhu Irzh said. "Here, I see we have a misunderstanding. The Minister of Lust is a woman."
"It hasn't always been the case," Underling No said earnestly, suddenly regaining her equal opportunities hat. "The previous Minister of War was female, one of our greatest warriors. And the Minister of Lust was a man."
"It tends to go in opposites," Zhu Irzh said. "Traditionally, they're said to complement one another. Doesn't really bear thinking about."
He began to walk along the rows of columns, which grew closer together and more intertwined as they went on, until Chen had to duck beneath sticky pink tendrils. Eventually the web became too close and cloying and they were forced to step out into the main hall again, first checking to see that no one was in sight. Chen felt very small and vulnerable in the enormous cavity of the central hall, and he hastened after Zhu Irzh and Underling No with all possible speed until they reached the point indicated on the map, where they could dive into another narrow passage. Here, there were more of the mauve fungi, but the Ministry at this point appeared blighted and rotten, for the fungi were covered with weeping yellow sores.
"Lust and Epidemics had a disagreement some years ago," Underling No whispered. "Epidemics released a sexually transmitted disease on the Ministry of Lust. Hundreds of people are still in the lower levels; it was a terrible thing. The Ministry itself almost collapsed but they found a cure."
"A not entirely successful one, though," Zhu Irzh added. He nodded toward the blighted fungi. "That's the result."
"I've always wondered whether my mother was one of those affected," Underling No said. Her face grew fierce. "If I can find her—"
"We'll help as much as we can," Chen said firmly. "But we need to find Qi first."
They made their way past the livid fungi and toward the end of the passage. The map was correct. A flight of what passed for stairs led upward: short, yielding steps formed from a kind of membrane, lit by the same phosphorescent light that Chen had seen in the first tunnel. They climbed, feet sinking into the membrane. It felt very unstable, as though at any moment the stairs might give way and precipitate them downward. Chen saw Zhu Irzh disappear through an opening in the ceiling above, and moments later, he was able to follow.
Here, the passages through the Ministry of Lust were extremely narrow, obliging even Chen to bend his head. The Ministry was also hot, and now sweat was streaming down the back of Chen's neck, causing his shirt to cling clammily to his spine. Zhu Irzh remained as cool as ever and it was hard to tell whether Underling No's thick crimson skin was overheating or not. Chen kept glancing back, expecting to see one of the insect-eyed women close behind, but the passage remained mercifully empty.
"We're not far from the cells, according to the map," Zhu Irzh said over his shoulder. "Should be there in a minute."
"We'll need to watch out for guards, in that case," Chen reminded him.
But when they came to the cell area, they found that it was not as they had thought. As Chen and Zhu Irzh peered around a gristly outcrop, they saw that the first cells—small cavities in the wall of the Ministry—were decaying. The flesh of which they were formed had turned to a grayish green, with a strong smell of rotting fish. Zhu Irzh wrinkled his elegant nose and Chen clapped a handkerchief to his mouth to prevent himself from retching. There was no one in sight.
"This looks like it's been abandoned, Zhu Irzh," Chen muttered from underneath the handkerchief.
"I think you're right." The demon, followed by Underling No, stepped out from behind the outcrop and began to investigate the cells. "No, there's nothing here." He poked at a thick stain on the floor with the toe of his boot. "I wonder what this was? Or who?"
Chen gave him a curious glance. "Do you think these cells might have digested their occupants?"
"I've seen weirder," the demon replied.
They walked on, leaving the decaying cells behind, and turned a corner. The smell of rot filled the air. Zhu Irzh, in the lead at this point, dodged back behind a column of gristle.
"What is it?" Chen hissed.
"More cells," the demon answered, "but these ones are occupied."
Before he could stop her, Underling No shouldered past Chen and craned around the column.
"I can't see anyone," she said.
"Look. There." The demon pointed. Chen glimpsed a foot, clad in a red velvet slipper. It was motionless.
"I have to see!" Underling No declared, and stepped into the room.
"Wait!" Chen commanded, but it was too late. As soon as No set foot on the floor of the room that contained the cells, a sticky weblike substance fell from the ceiling and enveloped her. Chen felt something long and sharp touch his throat. Turning, he found himself looking along a spear's length into the grass-green insect eyes of one of the guards.