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Blood Burned

PULSE 3

 

Book 3

 

kailin gow

 

 

PRAISE FOR PULSE

 

 

 

 

I devoured this book. From the moment I received the review copy in the mail, I couldn't put it down until I was finished. Mystery and romance clouded the beginning. The vampire hunks are more than sexy, they're complex. No wonder Kalina can't choose between them. I can see Kalina as a real teenager on the brink of adulthood. Her grief for Aaron's death felt real. Then her elation in finding Stuart, someone close to Aaron, who reminded her of Aaron, felt real. Her discovery of who she is felt real. Some of the situation was comical, especially sensitive topics (Kalina trying to deal with her hormones) was handled with a sense of humor. The ending is wonderful and I would not have guessed it. Again, Ms. Gow has shown an understanding of teenage girls and some of the issues they deal with in growing up. Boys, love, sex, school, friendships, family - she covers it all. It says in my copy PULSE is Book 1 of 5. I can't wait to read the entire series.

 

Naya's Girls Night Out Book Picks

I love this book. From the beginning, you are drawn in by the imagery and the emotions, the sense of longing in the characters as they meet. Right away, there is mystery and romance. The book begins in the rain as a vampire watches Kalina run from her car to the library. There is something very romantic yet primal about Kalina's first meeting with Jaegar, her dead ex-boyfriend's half-brother. Shortly after, Kalina meets Stuart, the other brother. Both brothers are vampires, as was Kalina's ex-boyfriend Aaron. The dialogue, rivalry between brothers, plot twists, and action is so well-planned and carried out, you can visualize this as a movie. If you love young adult vampire romance books with a strong kick-butt heroine, this book series is for you.

 

Teen Book Reviewer

 

 

Loved it! Very exciting storyline, can't wait for the next one....

 

Ariana, early 20s.

 

Pulse is fast paced and intriguing, the story has twists at every turn and the ending leaves you open mouthed and wanting more. Kailin did a wonderful job in creating this vampire world.

Melissa Silva, The Bookshelf

 

Other Book Series Available from the same author of PULSE

 

 

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dark memories (the phantom diaries, #2)

 

The evil presence has permeated every core of Annette Binoche's life, attempting to destroy everything and everyone she holds dear. Can she break free from its hold and regain the trust of her friends and family? Eric is forced to confront his past, while Annette is forced to decide on her future. Will it include Eric, Aaron or Chace? Or no one at all?

 

 

 

 

Wicked Woods

 

Briony had to move to Wicked Woods, Massachusetts to live with her Great Aunt Sophie after her family disappears on vacation. The woods at the edge of Aunt Sophie’s inn are filled with secrets and inhabitants both seductive and deadly. Among them is a beautiful boy name Fallon who saves her one night in the woods. As Briony gets closer to Fallon, she learns he has a secret, as do most of the residents of Wicked Woods…

 

 

 

 

Shimmer (Wicked Woods, #2)

 

In the small charming resort town known as Wicked Woods, Massachusetts, lies an age-old secret. Newcomer Briony Patterson, who has recently lost her parents and younger brother, will soon find out what it is...

 

 

 

 

The Stoker Sisters

 

Two sisters... Born during the time of Jane Austen... Set to marry for advancement, but escaped their fates by becoming vampires. Now vampires in the 21st century, hunted by a sect of rogue hunters, the sisters meet a mysterious boy who holds the key to their destinies.

 

 

 

 

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Blood Burned

PULSE 3

 

Book 3 of 5

 

kailin gow

 

Blood Burned (PULSE #3)

Published by THE EDGE

THE EDGE is an imprint of Sparklesoup LLC

Copyright © 2010 Kailin Gow

 

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

 

For information, please contact:

 

THE EDGE at Sparklesoup

P.O. Box 60834

Irvine, CA 92602

www.sparklesoup.com

First Edition.

Printed in the United States of America.

 

ISBN-10: 1597489433

ISBN-13: 978-1597489430

 

DEDICATION

 

This book series is dedicated to all the nameless volunteer blood donors, my doctor, and nurses at Las Colinas Medical Center in Texas who helped me pull through when I had suffered extreme blood loss, blacked out, and nearly hit my head on the floor. Your team gave me bags of blood for transfusion, which helped restore me to a level of safety.

My body craved the blood to keep alive, yet the thought of having to receive the blood from others because my own body couldn't generate it fast enough, made me empathize with vampires like Jaegar and Stuart.

When faced with death by blood loss, you realize how precious that blood in your veins and that beat in your heart are. Thank you blood donors around the world for providing this pulse for me and everyone who may at one point or another require your gift.

 

Sincerely,

 

Kailin

 

 

 

 

Prologue

Kalina screamed. Every wound in her body - recently healed but still sore where Mal had thrust in those needles, one by one – began to scream too, in an agony that doubled her over and forced her to swallow down her tears.

Jaegar, no!

This wasn't happening, she tried to tell herself, forcing herself to breathe as normally as possible. This wasn't real. But through the connection she and Jaegar had forged, she could see all that Jaegar saw, feel that all that Jaegar felt. She saw Aaron, strapped down to a table next to Jaegar – his eyes wide with terror and rage. She began to shudder, uncontrollably, as she saw Jaegar begin to froth at the mouth and tremble, as Mal began to inject him with the entire contents of a vial of Kalina's blood.

Kalina knew what would happen next. She had been warned many times of the danger, of what was destined to happen if a vampire drank Kalina's blood without receiving the gift of her love, if the blood was taken unwillingly, if... Stuart had warned her, once, in a time that seemed like decades or centuries ago, that it was better for Kalina to attempt suicide than it was for her to allow any vampire to drink down droplets of her blood. It would make any drinker of the Life’s Blood into the most powerful creature imaginable – and the most dangerous. The vampire would be invincible – for a time, even entirely immortal – his limbs refusing to cede to even the harshest silver or stake, his skin unpierced, his eyes still shining with cruelty. But worse still, the drinker would grow mad. The power of Life’s Blood was too strong for any vampire to handle except the one that the carrier had designated her true love – it would overwhelm the senses, overwhelm the mind, overwhelm any hint of rationality or reason, replacing it instead with cruelty and chaos.

And now it was happening to Jaegar.

He had promised to love her, always. He had promised to protect her. He had nearly given his life for her on so many occasions, fighting off so many vampires that had come in search of Kalina's blood – camps of individual bounty hunters, enemies of the orderly Consortium, and now at last Mal himself. And he had at last been caught, at last surrendered.

Maybe...Kalina closed her eyes, refusing to let the tears spill out. Maybe Jaegar would be strong enough to resist the pull of her blood, strong enough to keep his mind intact. Maybe it would be possible – because he loved her, because he had promised to love her...

She flashed back to the moments they had shared together. She remembered him when they first met, their angry, flirtatious banter, the way she had smiled so sweetly as she teased him, the way he had affected innocence after using compulsion to get close enough to kiss her. The way they had trade barbed insults hiding only the softest of feelings, the sweetest of compliments. And they at last had succumbed to their feelings that one night in the Sunrise Motel, coming closer, ever closer, to what their bodies told them they wanted, they needed more than anything...

And then Octavius had come into the picture, had clouded everything. He had stolen her heart, and with it any chance that she could love Jaegar as truly as he needed to be loved in order for the spell to work for him, in order to turn Jaegar human. Kalina had moved on – she knew – and yet she had continued to care for Jaegar so deeply, so strongly, that their minds were connected in telepathy after their exchange of blood. She had drunk from him; now she could feel his thoughts.

And she felt within herself what it was Jaegar felt, his thoughts spilling over into her, his mind coming alive within her own. She felt the cold needle prying into her own arm, puncturing her own flesh. She felt her blood slowly simmering into the veins – she felt the taste of it, which began with a delicious shudder in the vein and then somehow echoed itself on the tongue – the hot, sweet taste of her own blood, like elderflower and vanilla, like honeysuckle and sandalwood, a perfume that intoxicated her even as she resisted the taste, the sense, the smell, even as she told herself that this was wrong – disgusting...no, it wasn't her thoughts at all. It was Jaegar whom she sensed within her soul, it was Jaegar's fear, his desire; it was Jaegar who relished the delectable sensation of her blood filling his veins, his nose, his mouth, his throat, overwhelmed by the flavor and the texture of the delicacy.

The desire took over his senses. The darkness clouded this mind, sank into every pore of his body, turning his thoughts ugly like the hideous monster he was to be. This was what he had been waiting for. This is what he had always wanted. He had forced himself to stop – out of respect for Kalina, out of a desire to be chosen, to be made human – and yet as the blood flowed into him he knew with a certainty deeper than death that he had wanted nothing more than this particular sensation, this particular overflow of desire.

Kalina felt his thoughts running through her, sparking to her brainwaves as if they were her own.

The blood filled him with delight, with a love unbounded by restraint. He loved the blood, loved its strength, its power. Almost as much as he had loved Kalina. How he had wanted her – in those days when he had been good enough to respect her, to wait! How he had longed for her – how he had forced his fangs to remain behind his lips, when he wanted nothing more than to sink them deep into the milky whiteness of her throat! How he had longed to force her down onto a satin bed and do to her what he had done to so many women in the day – so many women who would never think to refuse him, from whom he could gulp down cupfuls of pleasure, who would in return thank him for showing them sensations they had never heretofore known.

And Kalina had refused him! Moreover – she had mocked him, offering herself to him only when it was too late, when it was clear that she did not want him, but was only using him as a mediocre substitute for Octavius, who had broken her heart. Jaegar had only ever been a poor second choice for her, a meager substitute for Octavius and his centuries of experience, of wisdom, of skill in the arts of sensuality.

Kalina could feel Jaegar's anger prickle and then burn at this thought.

How dare she! How dare she! She felt him shudder. That silly girl – that idiotic jejune twit – had dared to refuse him! Jaegar! Who had conquered the hearts and limbs and loins of girls for over seven hundred years! And he had been such a fool, hadn't he? Fool enough to play the gentleman, to wait for her to consent, to wait for her to submit. When what he had always wanted was right there in front of him, for him to take, for him to pluck! How easy it would have been to grab hold of her wrists, to force her down to her knees before him, to pull her hair back and expose the snowy nakedness at her neck, to break that delicate skin with the full force of his fangs!

And yet he had held back!

No, Jaegar, Kalina pleaded, you're stronger than this! Please, I know you are! You're too strong – please be stronger than this! Don't let this darkness...

But it was no use. Jaegar could not hear her. He only lay upon the dank, sterile chair, struggling against his bonds, as he felt the familiar effects of Life’s Blood at last overtake him. His heart began to pump blood again, the dead, black blood clotted in his heart at last moving through him. He began to breathe – his chest heaving for the first time in seven hundred years. Air was cool and fresh to him – it was like a drink of water for which he had been parched for so long that the agonizing need had become habitual to him, a native part of his existence. He felt the world around him in a new light, a new way – the air was something he could breathe, partake in. Excitement made his heartbeat grow faster – and faster and faster until he thought it would speed up like a spinning top into a blur of nothingness. He grew warm – not just the pale anemic warmth he experienced when feeding on a human's blood, but a proper warmth that gave color to his cheeks and to his extremities.

And then Jaegar stopped.

Could it be – was he a human?

Could it be that Kalina had really loved him, all this time – even through Octavius, even through Stuart and Aaron – loved him enough to have turned him human from this distance, even in this condition? The thought of Kalina loving him, choosing him, made his heart soar for a brief moment. It was a happiness he thought he would never feel.

“No!” Aaron was shouting, over and over again, but Jaegar drowned out the sound. “No!”

Mal was standing over him, a proud and triumphant expression stern on his face. In a single, smooth motion, he cut down Jaegar's bonds, and slinked out – vanishing into the ether.

Was he free? Was he human? Jaegar began to twitch his fingers – feeling the strange sensation of blood complicating the reflexes of his muscles. He stood, staggering at first, until strength returned to him fully. He walked over to the window, where it was boarded up, and instinctively – without thinking – tore the boards from the window.

Aaron screamed as sunlight flooded the room, pouring over Jaegar in a burning frenzy.

But it did not touch him.

It did not kill him. It did not even, as it had done when Jaegar wore one of the Life’s Blood rings, pain him – a pain like a slow and throbbing eternal sunburn, the pain he had learned to get used to in order to live among humans, during the day. This was entirely natural.

Could it be? Was he human? Had Kalina loved him that much? Did he dare to hope?

There was only one way to find out. Jaegar's eyes scanned the room quickly, until at last Jaegar had found what he was looking for.

He took a rusty nail and, wincing, drew it across his palm. A streak of blood appeared there, flowing loosely out of the wound.

And then it stopped.

The blood vanished; the wound healed – the slender incision vanishing into a sea of flesh.

He was not human. Kalina had not loved him. After all he had done for the bitch, after all he had sacrificed for her – after all he had given up – she had still not loved him! She had still maintained the audacity to refuse him!

He grimaced, a cold grimace that turned into the smile.

Next time, he thought. Next time he would drain the bitch dry.

Next time he would show no mercy.

Chapter 1

 

“No,” Kalina was whispering, “no, no, no!” She had curled up on the floor, contorting into herself, a small, quivering ball of flesh. It was too much, too much to bear. First Octavius had left her – whispered his love to her and then told her it was best if they part, for her own good, he had said! And moments later, she had heard this missive from Jaegar, the telepathic connection that she had once thought of as a blessing, but which now was proving to be a curse.

She could hear Jaegar's crazed voice echoing in her head.

You little bitch – you think you can get away from me? Stupid slut...I will find you, I promise you! And this time I'll finish what I started. I'll make you enjoy it, you little...

Stop! Stop! Jaegar!

“Stop!” Her emotions overflowed her capacity for telepathy, and she began shouting the words around, screaming into the air. “Stop it, please! Make it stop!” She was shaking, sweat dripping into the carpet beneath her. “Oct-” She clapped a hand over her mouth. She could not call Octavius now, not moments after he had left her, after he had broken her heart. He needed to track down Mal – he needed to focus; he probably already knew what had happened to Jaegar, for the two men shared a telepathic bond of their own. She couldn't slow him down with entreaties for him to comfort her.

“Kalina!” Stuart's voice echoed through her head as he rose. “What's going on?” His voice was so kind, so soft – so much like Jaegar's, as Jaegar's voice had once been, whispering words of love into her neck and shoulders and thighs.

“Jaegar...” she whispered, shaking so hard she couldn't force the words out. “The vials – my blood...”

“What vials?”

“Mal – Mal took the vials.”

“Of your blood.” Stuart was kneeling before her, now, his hands squeezing her shoulders tightly, trying to force her into something like rationality. “The vials of your blood.”

“Yes!” Kalina shuddered.

You stupid girl – are you going to be a cocktease for my brother? Just like you were for me?

She raised her hands to her ears, forcing them over her, trying in vain to drown out the sound, a sound that there was no way to drown out, no way to destroy, a sound entering the very center of her soul.

“He drank...” Kalina looked into Stuart's eyes, unable to bear the pain of what she would have to tell him next. “Mal forced him to drink.”

“Forced who?”

“Jaegar!” Kalina began sobbing, brokenly, into Stuart's shoulders. “He forced Jaegar...”

“He forced Jaegar to drink your blood?”

And then Kalina saw it. The stark, clear, agony overwhelming Stuart's features, the fear as with every second of understanding that passed, Stuart's brother was lost to him, more and more...

“Is he okay?”

It was a stupid question. They both knew it was a stupid question. But Stuart could not stand to give up hope.

Slowly, with agonizing finality, Kalina shook her head.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered. “Oh God, Stuart; I'm so sorry...”

Octavius would have been able to fix this, she thought. Octavius – with his dark, piercing eyes and olive skin, his wisdom, his elegance, his strength, his ability to make her feel that all was safe in the world, as long as she was in his arms... Octavius had connected with her body, with her blood – with her mind – providing her with the strongest experiences of telepathy she had ever known, experiences as extraordinary as they had been erotic. But he had gone now, and she might never see him again. Last time he had fought with Mal, Mal had almost killed him, even with the most powerful vampires in the world – the Consortium – at his back. And now they were dead, and Octavius might as well be.

And Jaegar was gone too.

Another wave of pain broke over Kalina, and she pressed her face to the cool marble floor, unable to withstand the heat and agony overflowing in her heart.

If only Octavius hadn't sent her back here to Rutherford, told her – begged her – to choose another, one of the Greystone Brothers, the vampires he had made, whom he loved enough to entrust with the woman he loved. Octavius had told her only they could keep her safe – but if he hadn't, then maybe Aaron and Jaegar would still be here...

“Mal has turned Jaegar...” Kalina whispered. “He's on Mal's side now.”

“No,” said Stuart quickly. “I know – I know I've accused him of a lot,” said Jaegar, “But he is my brother. He is not evil.”

“Stuart, I'm sorry, but...”

“He's strong! He could have withstood the sickness, the madness – I know he could!”

“Stuart, no!”

“He can fight it!”

“Stuart!” Kalina fell silent. “I can hear him in my head. Hear the things he says to me. Filthy, cruel, sick, horrible things...he wants to drain me dry, to kill me, to force me to...”

“No!” Stuart's eyes widened. “That can't be. That's not the Jaegar I know. That's not...that's not my brother. He would stake himself before he let anything, anything happen to you.”

Kalina calmed herself. At least now she could speak clearly. “Whatever is in Jaegar's body now,” she said softly. “It's not the Jaegar we know. It's not Jaegar at all.”

Stuart's mouth turned grim. “Then there is no hope?”

Stupid bitch – of course there's no hope! I've wanted to do these things to you ever since I met you, ever since I first saw your hot little body jogging along...

Kalina felt bile rise in her throat. “I am sure,” she said. “Jaegar...Jaegar is dead.”

“I understand.” Stuart grimaced. “Then...we must do to him...what we must do.” She could see him straining against his own pain, willing himself to be strong.

“We must.”

“And Aaron?” Stuart's voice cracked. She did not think he would be able to hear any more bad news, especially concerning his little brother.

“I don't know,” said Kalina. She searched her brainwaves for a sign – she could see only Aaron as Jaegar had last seen him – his eyes wide with fear and pity for his brother. “He's still alive, I think,” said Kalina. “And he hasn't been turned, either. Mal must want him for something.”

“Ransom?” Stuart asked. “Or...his nose.”

Aaron was the finest winemaker of any vampire. His famous nose for blood had made him priceless to Octavius – and even more priceless to Mal. Mal wouldn't risk driving Aaron mad – Kalina thought – not if the madness would interfere with Aaron's senses.

“You think he's looking for other carriers?” said Kalina. She shuddered. “You think there are other carriers out there?”

“I don't know.”

Images flashed through Kalina's mind – a table, surrounded by vampires-  a meeting, Aaron in chains.

She spoke as if possessed. “A vampire meeting!” she shouted. “Mal is having Aaron smell the blood, my blood, under vampire oath. To prove...”

“That it's Life’s Blood?”

“The real deal, yeah.” Kalina's voice shook as softly as an echo.

“And then he'll want to sell off the rest of it...” Stuart's voice trailed off. “And send Jaegar after you.”

“I'm the only carrier,” said Kalina mournfully. “But...where do we go? What about Justin – and Maeve?” Neither her brother nor her best friend knew how to defend themselves against vampires.

“I don't know,” said Stuart. “The Winery – the Winery isn't safe. It's been breached – Jaegar has an invitation there. It's his house – we can't rescind it. You can rescind the invitation to your house...”

“Then let's drive there.” Kalina forced herself to her feet, leaning heavily on Stuart's arm. “As fast as we can!”

Stuart nodded curtly, forcing his face into neutrality. She knew he wouldn't let her see his pain. His stoic reserve was what she admired most about him – that impenetrable strength that conquered all emotions.

Stuart walked her to the car, opening and closing the door for her with gentlemanly reserve. What a lifetime it had been, thought Kalina, since Stuart had last come to the Calloway residence. He had taken care of Kalina when she blacked out following the exhaustion of learning about vampires – taken care of her for two whole days, watching over her and bonding with her brother, Justin. They had been dating, then, and everything had been new and exciting, their relationship filled with so much promise! And then they had screwed it up, both of them. Stuart had withheld vital information from her – the curse of her virginity, her destiny to remain chaste if she wanted her blood to be able to engender humanity in vampires – and sucked blood from Maeve, which had made Kalina so jealous – Maeve could give her boyfriend what she could not. And Kalina in turn had screwed it up too – leaving him for Jaegar, then leaving Jaegar in turn for Octavius, so overwhelmed was she by the novelty of her emotions, the power of a vampire's embrace.

How simple things had been at the beginning, Kalina thought as they began driving. How beautiful it had all been – and how easy!

She placed her hand slowly, tentatively, in Stuart's – a friendly gesture – trying somehow to express her anger, her sorrow, her pain for all the difficulties that had passed between them.

He took her hand and squeezed it.

“It'll be okay, Kalina,” Stuart said. His voice was only shaking slightly. “We'll save them,” he said. “Aaron and Jaegar both. I promise.”

“Of course we will,” said Kalina, forcing herself to smile.

But she knew, as they drove on into the night, that neither of them truly believed it.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

They conducted the drive home in silence. The car sped through a night as thick and black as a starless sea, the screech of the tires the only sound. Kalina leaned her head on the window, feeling the cool glass press against her cheek. She could feel Stuart beside her, his hands clenched on the wheel, feel the pain he was trying too hard not to express. She might not have had a telepathic connection with him, but nevertheless she was able to feel in some small measure what he felt, a reflection of her own agony times a million fold. Could this really have happened to Jaegar? Stuart's Jaegar – their Jaegar – her Jaegar? That funny, arch trickster who had caused so much trouble, and yet was always with the best of intentions, whose heart was truly good despite his pretension to wickedness.

Kalina sighed heavily, and the sigh filled the car. She watched the road speed on out the window and blinked away her tears.

“Stop,” she said. “We…we should go to Maeve's house, first. To warn her.”

“What?” Stuart's face was a mask of concern. He turned towards her.

“Mal...when I was imprisoned – he looked into my head. Trying to find the people I cared about. To use them...against me. I don't want anything to happen to her.”

“I understand.”

He spun the car around instantly, the screech hot on the pavement. Good old Stuart, Kalina thought. He was always so quick to do the right thing; it was always so easy for him. Even with everything that had happened between them, with all the chaos and the trouble, he knew exactly what the right thing was, and how to do it. Kalina sighed. If only her own thoughts were so simple, as straightforward as Stuart's. Her mind was so racked with guilt and confusion – she had been so overwhelmed by her feelings – that there was in the end nothing for her to do but force the tears out of the corner of her eyes and try to stay calm. This was her fault, she felt.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Stuart's voice – so calm, like warm milk – broke the silence.

Kalina sighed again, then shrugged. It was too hard to voice her thoughts.

“You okay?”

His concern was so deep, so well-meaning. Even through his own pain he was thinking of her. She knew she had to trust him with her thoughts.

“I think so,” she said. “I mean...everything that's happened...”

“I know.”

She shot him a weak smile. “It's just – things were a lot simpler before I met you guys.” She looked down.

“It's hard to tell what you're thinking,” said Stuart. “You get this look on your face – you're so far away.”

She was in the recesses of dreamland, that labyrinth Octavius had taught her to walk in, searching telepathically, calling out his name...

“Funny,” said Kalina. “Jaegar wouldn't have said that. Octavius...they can read my mind. If I let them. But you...”

“We haven't made that connection,” said Stuart. She could see his lips whiten with the faintest hint of jealousy.

“No, not yet,” said Kalina. “But...why? I mean, I drank Jaegar's blood. But with Octavius...it was before that. I hadn't even drunk his blood when we were able to start communication. And it's not like it was with Jaegar. With him it was always fuzzy, like...like talking underwater, I guess. But with Otavius...so clear!”

“You and he had...have...something special,” said Stuart. “It's not normal.”

“When are vampires ever normal?” Kalina stared out the window.

“Even for vampires.” Stuart began to look uncomfortable. “Normally,” he said. “The telepathic connection is done only through blood – like you and Jaegar. You drank his blood, so you were able to connect with his thoughts.”

“And Octavius?”

“You are the Carrier of Life’s Blood,” said Stuart. “The rules for you are not like the rules for everybody else. Nobody knows quite what you are. Half human – half vampire? But you're not a dhampir like Aaron...not a halfling in the technical sense.”

“I'm a mystery, I guess,” said Kalina. They fell silent. She spoke up again. “And you and Maeve? Can you share thoughts too?” Kalina flushed to remember how stupid and jealous she had been about Maeve's relationship with Stuart. She had asked Maeve to give blood to help save Stuart's life – yet when she saw the two of them together, partaking in that bloody ritual from she was excluded, the pain of her necessary exclusion had clouded her better judgment. “Don't worry,” said Kalina quickly. “I'm over all that now. I'm not mad – I mean...I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too,” said Stuart. He looked closely at the steering wheel.

“I talked to Maeve. She and I – well, we're best friends again!” Kalina smiled. “She's a good friend.”

“Yes,” said Stuart. “I can imagine she would be.” Stuart sighed. “I'm glad. That – we did not hurt you.” He shook his head. “No, Maeve and I were never able to talk telepathically. Not all vampires have that ability – only the strongest. And even then they have to share blood...it is so rare. But again, I must say, I think it is a question of your blood. Life’s Blood does some incredible things – and there is so much about the subject that vampires don't even know!”

“Do you think...” Kalina's voice trailed off.

“Do I think what?”

“If I drank your blood, I mean. Do you think we'd get a connection – telepathically?”

Stuart looked up. “What?”

“I want to be able to reach you,” said Kalina. “Wherever you are. In case...” She flashed back to Mal's dungeon – the terror, the smell of the damp and the sound of the mice scurrying underfoot. She shut her eyes, trying to drown out the image. “Now that Jaegar's gone – it's too dangerous if I can't communicate with you.”

“That makes sense,” said Stuart, but his voice was wary.

“I just...if Mal comes after us...” Kalina's eyes began to water. The very thought of Mal – his cruel smile – his sadistic glee in torturing her for hours upon hours – made her begin to shake.

“It's all right.” Stuart leaned in closely, putting an arm about her shoulders. His touch calmed her; his eyes were warm and full of love. They made her feel safe – protected. “I won't let that happen to you again, Kalina. I promise. Even if it means...” He took a deep breath. “I want you to drink,” he said. “But please – please don't hate me...afterwards.”

Kalina raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Just do it!” Stuart snapped. “Before I change my mind.”

He bit into his wrist; Kalina could see rivulets of blood emerging from the wounds. “Drink!” Stuart's voice was harsher than she was accustomed to – hot and angry with desire.

She closed her eyes and inhaled. The scent of the blood was intoxicating; it swamped her nostrils, her mouth, her whole world. Against herself, she leaped upon him – forcing him to swerve the car to the side of the road – pressing her lips into the cut, drinking down every droplet of the blood. She could not see; she could not hear; she could not think. She could only moan softly as she lapped up each trickling droplet, turning her lips a dark shade of purple as she rubbed her cheeks and lips against the cut.

At last she opened her eyes, only to see Stuart's face contorted in something like agony. She stopped immediately. Had she hurt him? Killed him? She forced her mouth away from the wound, shuddering with the effort.

“Stuart? Are you all right?”

“Don't talk.” His voice was harsh and cold. “Just...don't...talk.”

They sat in silence for a while, Kalina clapping a hand over her mouth. At last Stuart turned towards her. “I am sorry,” he said. “For my behavior just then. But – the sensation of you...there. It was...overpowering. I was afraid if I allowed myself to open my eyes, to see – hear – smell you – I would not be able to restrain myself.”

His eyes remained closed.

“Right now, I want nothing more than to bite you back,” he said. “My desire for you has been multiplied a thousandfold.” He sighed deeply. “Right now, I want you more than anything – and I can't – I can't have you. And it's killing me that I can't.”

“Stuart...” Kalina said softly.

“No, I agreed to this! I told you you could have my blood!”

“You knew it would do this to you?”

He nodded. “A worthwhile price to pay for your life. An...exercise of my willpower.” He scoffed. “No, you’re Octavius’… had been from the start. Your heart – your mind. The last time my brother and I tried to keep you from Octavius...we were wrong to do so. We kept you from your destiny – for our own selfish reasons. Love, bloodlust – I don't know. We betrayed our maker. It was unforgivable. But I can’t help this want, Kalina. I’m fighting it with everything I’ve got.”

His eyes were still squeezed shut.

Stuart, can you hear me? She probed softly. Somehow his concern for her, his self-sacrifice, made her feel closer to him than ever.

Yes... The sound was tentative, afraid.

Stuart, open your eyes.

No answer.

Stuart, look at me. It's okay.

She squeezed his hand. At last, tentatively, he let one eyelid flutter open. She could see the darkness of desire in his eyes.

We'll work on this together, okay? You and me – both of us. We'll make sure you can control this. I'll help you.

Stuart nodded.

I need you with me. I can't lose you, too.

Okay.

This time his telepathic voice was strong and deep. He broke into normal speech. “Look, Kalina – I'm not like Jaegar is – was. I don't act on impulse. But that does not mean my desires are any less strong – any less pronounced than his. My blood seeks yours. It’s the strongest hunger I’ve ever encountered.”

“I am the Carrier,” said Kalina.

“It started before I met you,” said Stuart. “It began when Octavius first heard of you – first began seeking for you – this longing. He is my maker – I feel what he feels, want what he wants. My desire for you is a reflection of his – I know this. When Aaron sent me his message to come back to Rutherford to protect you, I was already half in love with you. Then I met you, and you were the dream I’ve always had of the woman… but you were already Octavius’. He had mentioned you over and over again how he must find you. Logically, I know this. But it does not make the sensation for me any less real – any less agonizing...”

She cut him off, reaching out a hand to touch his hand, to show…

He jumped away from her, opening his eyes, his fangs elongated. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m sorry!” Kalina gasped. “I want you to know how I feel…”

I understand, please don’t or I can’t help what I’ll do next.

Before Kalina could blink, Stuart was poised on top of her, his arms encircling her, his fangs bared. His eyes were filled with deep desire so great it kindled Kalina’s already burning skin. Kalina could feel his blood within her react with her hormones, stirring up her latent desire for him, his touch, his kiss.

She looked into Stuart’s eyes, and felt her mouth parted and her tongue lick her lips in anticipation.

“Oh,” Stuart groaned. “Octavius will kill me…”

Octavius’ name brought some sense into Kalina’s mind. Then it brought pain…he no longer wanted her. She was free to choose anyone she wanted.

“It’s okay, Stuart,” Kalina said. “Octavius and I are no longer. He wants me to choose another…”

Stuart’s eyes blaze with hope as he descended to take Kalina’s mouth with his own.

 

 

 

Chapter 3

 

At last Stuart and Kalina arrived at Maeve's house. It was after midnight, and Kalina worried what would happen if it was Maeve's mother, rather than Maeve herself, who answered the door. How could Kalina explain away the blood on her shoes – the blood stains trickling at the end of her mouth, Stuart – who looked even more vampire-like than ever with the blossoming of his desire. They had kissed passionately, his mouth tasting hers, while he held her close, his face strained with his strong need. She had kissed him fervently back, all her pent up feelings for him combined with her need to comfort him. Finally, not being able to hold back, he darted out of the car panting…before Kalina could blink.

Now she stood far apart from Stuart, whose eyes still held hers with unspoken desire and longing. Kalina turned to look ahead. She mustn’t think of what just happened or both of them would never get to Maeve’s. At the corner of her eye, she saw Stuart flinched, now telepathically-connected to Kalina, being able to see in her mind’s eye that passionate scene.

Please Kalina, you’re torturing me. Think of something else.

She thought of the task ahead. It won’t be easy telling Maeve about everything. She sighed and rang the doorbell.

Here's to hoping, right? She said to Stuart. He nodded curtly back at her. Kalina could see how hard he was trying not to let her see his ferocious desire for her, despite his kiss, and she tactfully looked away. She respected his efforts, even as she could not deny the sensation of being so hotly – so tantalizingly – desired thrilled her. The kiss did nothing to quench this desire…but to fuel it. Above all things, however, she felt compassion for Stuart, for his predicament. Octavius had said once that if any vampire was to become human, it should be Stuart – he had never wanted to shoulder the burdens of blood or immortality. Could she love Stuart the way he needed to be loved in order for the spell to work? She would have drained herself dry if it meant giving Stuart any chance at humanity. He deserved it – perhaps he deserved it most of all. His goodness, his self-sacrifice, so often went unacknowledged in the presence of his flashier, sexier brother Jaegar.

I guess we all go for the bad boys, Kalina thought to herself, and then straightened up, hoping Stuart had not heard her thoughts. He did not seem to change expression.

At last Maeve answered the door. “Guys?” She furrowed her brow. “What's going on?” She caught sight of the blood on Kalina's shirt and Stuart's sleeves. “Holy...are you guys okay? Come inside.” She ushered them in. “Mom's passed out upstairs.”

“What is it this time?”

“Diazepam.” Maeve rolled her eyes. “At least you have someone used to playing doctor.” She gave a wry laugh. “What's going on, Kalina? You vanished for the last week of school. The principal said you were at a math Olympiad – but...that didn't sound like you, somehow.”

Kalina had always wanted to be a history major.

“I...” Where could she begin? How could Kalina even start to regale Maeve with the tales of Octavius – how he had taken her to Paris and Rome, made her fall in love with him, offer to... how she had lost him – how could Kalina tell her about Stuart and Jaegar and Aaron and everything that had happened since they last talked.

“I just...can I sit down?” Kalina said at last.

“Of course!” Maeve rushed to get Kalina a chair.

“Let's just say,” said Kalina, “my trip was cut short. Because of a vampire. A very dangerous vampire. A vampire called Mal.”

“Please,” Stuart cut in. “Kalina – you've had to deal with enough for one day. Do you mind...would it be better if...I explained?”

Kalina shot him a grateful smile.

Stuart was far better able than Kalina was to contain his emotions – indeed, Stuart was better at being stoic when the moment required it than anybody else Kalina had ever met. He spoke in a crisp, clear monotone, telling Maeve about Kalina's visit to Octavius, the arrangement the Greystone Brothers had made with Octavius, about the murder of the Consortium in Rome and Kalina's subsequent abduction in Paris. Kalina sat staring at her lap, her hands scratching and fidgeting at each other. Stuart told the whole story – as clearly and accurately as he could – but there was so much he left out! The beauty of that first night in Paris, after the opera – the way Kalina had succumbed to Octavius... the romance, that kiss upon the bridge – Kalina's fear, her pain, her torment as she had slowly come to realize her love for Octavius.

“Kalina?” Maeve was saying. Kalina whirled into action.

“What? What is it?”

“Are you okay? You just...you went really red all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, I'm okay.” Kalina looked down. “It's just been a really rough couple of weeks.”

Stuart at last came to the conclusion of his story.

“Wow,” said Maeve, staring out into space. “Just...wow.”

“So you see,” Stuart concluded. “You must be as vigilant as possible. You cannot open your door to anybody – and never, above all things, invite anybody you do not know in. Tell your mother to do the same.”

“My mother's never awake,” Maeve rolled her eyes.

“Mal is as dangerous and invincible as creatures of your nightmares,” said Stuart. “He is mad – as a hatter – and willing to stop at nothing to get to Kalina. And this puts you in danger, too. Because Kalina cares for you.”

“Kalina, I'm so sorry,” said Maeve, putting her hand on Kalina's knee. “You must have gone through so much.”

Kalina was struck at Maeve's selflessness. She was the only friend in her old social circle who stuck by her when she grew distant and closed herself off following Aaron’s death. Kalina couldn’t handle the fake friendships she had developed over the years with some of the girls on her squad and circle. Maeve was the only true friend that she had, and it took Aaron’s death to find out. Had somebody told her, Kalina, that she was in grave danger because of her friend's blood, she would have been furious – seeking somebody to blame for her predicament. But here was Maeve, more concerned with Kalina's captivity than her own safety. Maeve had always been such a good friend – and Kalina had taken her for granted for so long, accepting unquestioningly that Maeve was happy to cede to Kalina the spotlight in everything – cheerleading, academics, popularity. Kalina looked down and resolved to try to be more like her best friend.

She saw Stuart and Maeve sitting next to each other and smiled to herself. Perhaps she was wrong to be jealous, but she could certainly see these two kind, selfless people making a life together. It was a happiness she felt both deserved.

Stuart continued explaining the Life’s Blood mythology to Maeve.

“Wow,” said Maeve again.

“So you see – who it is that Kalina loves is of the utmost importance. For she will fall in love with a vampire – she must.”

“So, you're destined to love a vampire!” Maeve's eyes opened wide. “That's so trippy!”

Kalina colored, unsure of what to say. “It's...a family thing,” she said at last.

“A family thing?” Maeve furrowed her brows. “I thought you were...”

“Adopted? Yeah, I am. But my birth parents – my birth family. I'm from this, like, long line of vampires and humans.”

“Together?” Maeve's eyes widened further. “Having...sex?”

“And vampires-turned-humans,” said Kalina. “Because of the Life’s Blood.”

“Wow.” Maeve considered. “Is that why I had to give Stuart my blood, then? Why you couldn't do it?”

The memory of how useless, how angry Kalina had felt came back to her and turned her cheeks crimson. But Kalina forced down her jealousy. “Yes,” she said softly. “That is why. I would have given Stuart my blood if I could.” She took Stuart's hand and squeezed it tightly. “For everything he's done – he and his family – I would have gladly given Stuart my blood.”

Stuart smiled back at her, gratefully. He had found it easier, it seemed, to quell his desire when Maeve was in the room. At that moment, Kalina felt that whatever strange relationship she and Stuart had was something more than mere friendship. It was a blood bond, the bond of true kin – a loyalty that had transcended this era, transcended time. It was the loyalty of the days of Stuart and Jaegar's lives, the Medieval chivalry in which a knight would serve his lady with no hope of romantic reciprocation, only the courtly ideal. Knights would stand by their ladies. Jaegar and Stuart were knights from the Middle Ages, and that chivalrous love for their chosen lady, Kalina, had not diminished through the ages. Knights would stand by their king. Kalina thought of Octavius, then, and sighed. The pain of that wound was still fresh.

“I hope Jaegar and Aaron are okay,” said Maeve – a bit awkwardly.

She's taking this so well, said Kalina to Stuart. She let him feel her relief. She had been so afraid Maeve would be angry.

She's strong, Stuart replied. You're lucky to have a friend like her.

“I know,” said Kalina out loud.

“You know what?” Maeve turned to her.

“I'm lucky,” said Kalina. “To have a friend like you. I just…don't want you to get hurt. For my sake.”

“Well,” said Maeve, “How do you protect yourself?”

Kalina and Stuart exchanged looks.

“So you don't get hurt,” said Maeve. “I want to know how to kill one of these things. If I'm in danger, the least I want to do is fight back. I want to know how to use a stake – or garlic – or mirrors, or whatever it is you use.”

“A stake,” said Stuart and Kalina, in unison.

“Okay, a stake then,” said Maeve. “Point is, I just want to make sure you can leave me alone without me getting myself killed. Teach me- whatever it is you know. Self-defense.” She laughed. “Karate. Something.”

“Well, you're a cheerleader,” said Kalina dryly. “You’re athletic and quick. That's a nice start.”

But she could hear what Stuart was thinking, and she felt the same thing. She could teach Maeve self-defense, and it might be enough to stave off a few of the less experienced vampires – enough to get rid of the average bounty hunter or newborn looking for someone to suck dry. But if Jaegar or Mal came along, Kalina knew, there was no fighting either of them and expecting to come out alive.

And all would surely be lost.

 

Chapter 4

 

So it began that Kalina remained for a time with Maeve. It was a simple matter getting permission – Kalina explained to Maeve's mother that she didn't want to remain alone in the house when Justin was away, given what had happened to Aaron and Maeve – and Maeve's mother in turn replied with a long, slow nod, only slightly dulled by haze. She wasn't sure that uninviting Jaegar from her house would work – Stuart warned her that the process was tricky, and often required a full mental self-possession that he wondered aloud if Kalina possessed when it came to Jaegar.

“Deep down,” he said gravely, “you care for him. You want him to come into the house – but as the Jaegar you know. The Jaegar you remember. The Jaegar you...” His voice trailed off and he looked down. “The Jaegar you love,” he said at last, forcing himself to sound as light and casual as possible.

“I understand,” said Kalina. The idea scared her. Could her feelings really so interfere with her powers of self-defense? If she couldn't even keep Jaegar out of her own house, how would she expect to fight him off when the time came – how could she expect to stake him if she had to? She didn't want to think about it. The thought filled her with disgust, with dread. And yet she knew there was a chance it would come to that. She would want so badly to help Jaegar, to turn him back to the side of the good, to convince him to look into himself...but, as Stuart reminded her, his face grim and full of despair, every second that she spent reasoning with him was another second giving him the option to kill her.

She tried to shut him out of her mind, so afraid that he would be able to see her location, to find her.

Kalina, the voices came at night. I will find you. I will taste you. I will drink you. I will suck you dry.

And she woke up in tears.

All the same, being with Maeve made everything feel better. Somehow having Maeve around, with her soft brown eyes and sweet disposition, was like having some grounding in the real world, one foot in the land of safety and happiness. When they were sitting on Maeve's terrace drinking lemonade, weeding together in the back garden and feeling the cool January breeze ripple over their faces, it felt like there could be no vampires in existence at all. This was the real world, Kalina thought, the world she had left behind. A world of garden weeds and lemonades, of Maeve's Cape Cod-style cottage and cups of tea in the morning.

And then Maeve asked if they could start practicing self-defense.

“Maeve...” Kalina hated the idea. It meant somehow that all this was real – that Maeve really was in danger, that they were both really and truly in danger. She shook her head.

“It's not going to change anything,” said Maeve, “you know that. If we forget about the vampires, it doesn't mean that they'll forget about us.”

“I know,” said Kalina darkly. That night they went out into the garden, practicing moves that Kalina knew Maeve would need to defeat any vampires.

“Okay,” said Kalina, “so it's like this. You need to be able to use a stake in both hands.”

“But I'm right-handed.”

“Doesn't matter. If a vamp pins you down with one hand, you need to be able to use the other. I like to try throwing the javelin with both hands – it helps my aim.”

Kalina showed Maeve all the tricks that Stuart had originally taught her – the seemingly innocuous water gun loaded with holy water, the sharp crosses - a Catholic variant on the ninja star – and of course the stakes themselves, sharpened and primed to sink deep into the heart of any vampire brave enough to challenge them.

Maeve was an easy enough study. Her years of cheerleading had made her athletic, lithe, and strong. But she did not have Kalina's blood in her – the Life’s Blood that gave her properties of a vampire. She was only a human, resolutely a human even at her strongest and most hardworking. It was a fact that gave Kalina pause. She even found herself being snappish to Maeve, impatient with Maeve's errors, her difficulty learning, her mistakes.

She wasn't used to humans, she realized. She wasn't used to human error – human slowness, humans making mistakes. She had almost come to think of herself as a vampire – as the Carrier, child of humans and vampires alike – she was given entry into the world of the supernatural; she had been able to pass into the Bibliotheque Supernaturel in Paris. She hadn't even spoken to a true human in weeks. Suddenly Maeve – stumbling over a karate move; tripping up over her own stake, missing the target on an accuracy and aiming exercise – seemed so strange to her, so foreign. So impossibly human! Kalina found herself instinctively irritated at Maeve's failures. No wonder vampires found human beings such easy prey, she thought! They really couldn't defend themselves at all!

Kalina immediately chided herself for her thoughts. She was only scared, she told herself – afraid for Maeve, afraid for all the humans she cared about. And yet, through all this, Kalina could not help but feel that there was something different about her, something changed. She had gone so deeply into the world of vampires that she had become one of them; humans were strange to her – different.

She remembered then what Octavius had said to her about her humanity. He had been so eager to get her away from the world of vampires, to let her grow up, get an education, get a life of her own outside of the world he had forced her into. Was this what Octavius had feared? Divorcing her from her human life, her human compassion – forcing her to feel like this kind of outsider, always?

And yet Octavius was too late. Now Kalina had the worst of both worlds – torn between the safe and serene beauty of the human world, and the dark mystery of her vampire life. She felt that both worlds were now foreign to her, both strange, and yet she could not fathom either of them.

“What's up?” asked Maeve, as they sat on the porch after one of their latest workout sessions.

“There's this guy,” Kalina began, sighing heavily.

“A guy? Spill...”

“When I was away in Rome. Another vampire...the one who made Jaegar and Stuart. And Aaron.”

“Something happened between you two?”

“I don't know,” said Kalina. She sighed. “I mean – it did happen. I mean...oh, I don't know what I mean! He was the reason the others found me – he sent for me. He'd been searching centuries for the Carrier. And he took me away with him.”

“He kidnapped you? Kalina – that's awful!” Maeve was both angry and concerned. Why didn’t you try to tell me…why did I just found this out now?

“No, it wasn't like that. He just...he was a perfect gentleman. He asked for a week of my time, no strings attached.”

“And you went with him?”

“I had to find out about my heritage – about Life’s Blood. And...it was the best week of my life. We went to Rome – to Paris! We saw the world! We talked about music, opera, philosophy, art...it was like a dream.”

“Opera, huh,” said Maeve, looking down. “Exciting.”

“We saw Tosca at the Opera Garnier in Paris! We went to the Ancient Roman Forum! We had gelato – well, I had gelato – in Piazza Navona at night. We walked through the streets of the city...oh, Maeve, it was amazing!”

“Sounds it,” but Maeve's voice was dull, even hollow.

“We're – we're in a complicated place right now,” said Kalina.

“How old is he?”

“He was twenty-seven when he was turned...”

“Twenty-seven!”

“But he's around two thousand years old now.”

“Kalina! He’s as old as Justin…” Maeve rose before it sunk in. “He’s two thousand years old?”

Kalina sighed, remembering how Octavius brought everything to life for her in Rome. “He was there when civilization was formed, long before America, long before everything you and I have ever seen. He has seen and done so much. And when you see him…he must have been the model for all those ancient statues you see from Roman times. He embodies masculinity itself. Every scent of him, his voice, his eyes, his body…”

Maeve raised an eyebrow. “I hope you didn't do anything stupid.”

“No – I mean...we…”

“Did you have sex with him?” Maeve asked.

Kalina was taken aback by Maeve’s bluntness. “I think I’m in love with him!” Kalina's voice shook. “We didn’t go all the way. We couldn’t, not with my Life’s Blood, not with the spell, but he knew how to make me feel…um…satisfied.” Kalina bit her lip, feeling awkward talking about what she and Octavius had in front of Maeve. “Only – he said...we can't be together. Because he can't become human.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's too dangerous! He can't protect me! He thinks it's unfair to take me away from the human world.”

“Well,” said Maeve. “He's right.”

Kalina was shocked. “What?”

“He is!” Maeve put her hands on her hips. “With all the crazy stuff you've been going through lately, the last thing you need is another vampire to worry about. Last time we talked, you were dealing with Stuart and Jaegar – not to mention Aaron – and now you're in love with some other vampire? I mean, Kalina, make up your mind! If Octavius said to forget him…forget him.”

“It's not as simple as that!” But Kalina knew how silly her explanations would appear to an outsider. “He may say to forget him, but my whole body, mind, and blood seek him, seek Jaegar, Stuart, and even Aaron. The reason I was in love – or thought I was – with Stuart and Jaegar and Aaron – it was because of Octavius! He's their maker! His blood was running through them...they feel what he feels for me. It may be because of the combination of their original blood with Octavius’ which caused this attraction. I don’t know. All I know is that I have blood that attracts these vampires to me, and I’m attracted to them too…”

“That's crazy!” cried Maeve.

“It's not crazy,” Kalina pleaded. “It's just how this is...Life’s Blood will attract vampires to me, and I will fall in love with one of them, turn him human…”

“Look,” said Maeve. “This – this vampire thing – it's threatening all of us...the last thing you should be doing is worrying about saving them!”

“But what about Stuart?”

“Stuart?” Maeve's face fell. “Well, Stuart's different. And he hates being a vampire – he thinks it's evil, cruel, horrible...he wants to be human! Doesn't that just prove my point?”

“What point?”

“That vampires are evil.”

Kalina's face fell. How could she tell Maeve that she was from vampires? Didn’t she already told her she was from a line of vampires-turned-humans or did Maeve refused to see her as anyone or anything other than same old Kalina, just one of the girls at school?

“Look,” she said. “I've gotta go to bed, okay? I'm tired.”

“Fine!” Maeve looked away. “If you want to put your life in danger, I'm not going to stop you!”

“Fine!” echoed Kalina.

“I just think you're being really stupid, okay?” said Maeve. “You're putting all our lives in danger because of your obsession with vampires!”

“It's not an obsession!” cried Kalina. What has gotten into Maeve? She was supportive when Stuart was around, but now? Didn’t Maeve hear anything she’s been telling her about Life’s Blood? Having it run through her veins is both a blessing and a curse. “I can't help it. Look, they came after me, okay?”

“Because you're so special!” Maeve scoffed. “Oh, I'm sorry – I forgot! You're the Carrier! So you're the most super-special, super-important snowflake in the world! Everyone loves you – because you're the Carrier!”

“It isn't like that, Maeve! I never wanted this. For goodness sakes, you knew Aaron, too, and had I known or anyone known he was a vampire, I would never have…Look, Maeve, I love you and all, but this has nothing to do with me being special. It has everything to do with accepting me for who or what I am. Accepting who Aaron was, too, and Stuart. I didn’t know Aaron was a vampire, neither did you, and yet we all loved him and accepted him.”

“I wouldn’t if I knew he was one…and he brought danger to Rutherford and everyone I cared about…” Maeve started then she lifted her hands in a sign of “enough!” and headed for her bedroom.

Kalina trudged up the steps to the guest room and went to bed, trying to quell her anger with the counting of sleep. Perhaps no human would understand the effects Life’s Blood had on vampires. Humans, in general, have a hard time believing there were vampires at all. Until they actually see one, then they believe…like Maeve. But then Maeve had resorted back to trying to deny there were vampires. Stuart was fine with her – they had shared blood, and he appeared human, but in reality, he was just as vampire as Jaegar, Octavius, and even Mal. Kalina shook her head. No wonder why supernatural creatures thought humans were weak…humans refused to see the truth before them before it’s too late. Their minds refused to open up to see if there were possibilities out there beyond their common beliefs. So…vampires not as good as the Greystone Brothers and Octavius could easily come along into Rutherford, pick off each human, even openly attack a group of cheerleaders and still get away with it. With that kind of mentality of denial, how can people defend themselves against them…the vampires… when they don’t even believe in them?

The stress of waiting for something to happen, of fearing about whatever was about to happen with Mal or Jaegar or other vampires who had descended on Rutherford, was getting to sweet Maeve and Kalina. She was strained with anxiety.

As she began to fall asleep, drifting into dreamland, she heard a voice.

Kalina.

She stirred.

Octavius.

 

 

Chapter 5

 

May I come in? Octavius asked her. Kalina knew it wasn't anything he had to ask – for Kalina had given him permission long since to enter the world of her mind – those secret places and recesses where her thoughts danced and twisted within her. She had loved him; she had opened herself up to him. And yet he would not enter without her word.

Yes.

She had missed him so much – wanted him so badly. Every day without him had been filled with the same strangling uncertainty, the same grief – undisclosed, held so tightly within her that she thought she would burst. She had woken up mornings, sobbing, missing him, bowled over by a grief so profound that rising itself felt beyond her – and she had forced herself beyond it anyway.

She had not allowed herself to be weak for him, no, not ever for love. She had not allowed herself to falter. But now, as she saw Octavius before her, the full memory of what she had been missing struck her, and Kalina shuddered. Her slender frame shook with emotion.

Octavius was as handsome and beautiful as she remembered him. His hair was still long and dark brown, tinged with light rays of copper and gold. His eyes were still the color of burnt pecans – soulful and mysterious – and his skin still smooth and marble, the color of milky coffee. Kalina felt her whole body respond to the sight of him, curling around her desire, filled with love.

Where are you?

I cannot say. Octavius looked grave. I am afraid the information is too dangerous to place in your mind, in case Jaegar...Mal...

I understand. Oh, she understood! Her rational mind understood! But at his refusal Kalina felt a pang of sudden sadness that cut her to the quick.

Have you found him? Kalina couldn't bear to say the name – either name. She was afraid speaking it aloud would bring them forth – invading her mind, her body, her soul.

No. Octavius' face was stony and downcast. I wish...I wish I had. I have been tracking signs of them all across Europe.

You think they're in Europe?

Jaegar and Aaron – across the sea – so far from her! Kalina's pain redoubled.

I have found hints...

Are they..Kalina did not say “dead,” but Octavius heard her. It was telepathy, after all, and she could hide so little from him; this was not the realm of normal speech.

I believe Aaron is alive.

Kalina's heart leaped.

Mal wishes to keep Aaron alive to search for other Carriers. It appears that it is rumored that there are others – and they have distracted Malvolio for the time being, as is the sale of your blood. He believes that by selling off the vials he has now, he can create a loyal army who will in turn come for you – rather than risking the adventure on his own.

Does that buy us time?

Kalina's heart began to pound as she remembered the prison – her pain – her fear.

Not enough.

Kalina began shaking, the pain of her loss and her love overwhelming her. In a few quick, straightforward steps, Octavius came towards her, taking her in his arms. He smelled so good, so powerful, like the musk of a forest after the rain. In real life his heart did not pound, but in her dream she could hear his heartbeat, flickering and pounding, ultimately alive, beating in synchronicity with her own.

Don't worry, my darling, said Octavius. Aaron will be safe for the time being. His nose is one of the most powerful skills a vampire can have. Mal is not stupid enough to throw that away in a fit of rage – angry though he may be. As long as Aaron is useful, he will remain alive.

And Jaegar? The name shook her to the core.

I am sorry. Octavius stroked Kalina's hair softly. As long as...ever since he became invincible, he has developed his own powers of telepathy. He can no longer be located with a simple prick of the mind, as it were. He has learned to block himself off from his maker. I do not know where he is.

Could he be...here?

Octavius sighed. His face contorted with pain. I know how he feels about you, Kalina. I know what he wants. He will want to come after you – with or without Malvolio. Mal removed all traces of his inhibition, his humanity – and, as much as he hated to admit it, Jaegar always had some. He never violated you – as many vampires would have – in either sense of the word. He sighed. You have been lucky, Kalina – not to encounter these types of vampires. They...they are truly monsters.

At last Octavius could resist it no longer. He cupped Kalina's face in his hands, letting his fingers trail slowly down her cheeks. She moaned at the touch, closing her eyes and allowing his fingertips to brush past her lips, her nose, her eyelids. Her lashes fluttered under him.

I do not want you to live in fear, Kalina, said Octavius. I care too deeply for you for that. You cannot be a prisoner of your fear – of my fear – of this story and this saga. If I had wanted to keep you mired in these vampire troubles, I would not have…His voice trailed off, racked with irrepressible pain. I have asked my best guards from the villa in Beverly Hills to look after you.

Bodyguards?

You will be safe. These are the best men in America.

Can you trust them? She knew her Life’s Blood would complicate the situation of any vampire. Would they try to steal her for themselves, as the Greystone Brothers had done?

They know you are mine, said Octavius. They will not try anything with you.

Yours?

The world hung upon the air! Kalina's heart leaped at it. She had wanted for so long, so badly, to be “yours,” to belong body and soul to Octavius – he had rejected her. He had loved her too much…or maybe he had not loved her enough...

Always, Octavius’ voice was shaking.

But he had left her! Kalina could not bring herself to believe it. Even after what he had said, about breaking it off with her for her own safety, Kalina could not believe it. If he had only loved her enough, if he had only wanted her enough, if he had only cared for her enough, then nothing else would have mattered! He would have risked everything for her – never mind the cost!

That is not true!

Kalina started. What isn't?

He had heard her thoughts. In this realm of dreams there was such a fine line between thought and speech, between what was hers alone and what was theirs.

If I had loved you less, said Octavius, I would have been selfish. I would have wanted you with me. But...I love you too much to let you sacrifice your life – your self -your beauty and intelligence and youth and potential – for a vampire like me – a worthless vampire. I love you too much to let you down – to become human and in doing so lose my ability to protect you – and those like you – and those you love.

But...Kalina's voice trailed off. Surely this could not be the answer! Surely this could not be the ending! Love conquered all – she knew love conquered all – and she could not fathom a world in which love could ever be impossible.

I am reminded, said Octavius – softly – of a poem. A poem written by one Richard Lovelace.

A poem?

You like poetry, don't you, Kalina? In Paris and in Rome he had read her the works of Tennyson and Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot and Coleridge, sitting by the Seine, walking in Piazza Navona. It had been some of the most beautiful time of her life.

I do.

Octavius gave a deep sigh and recommenced stroking her hair.

 

TELL me not, sweet, I am unkind

That from nunnery

Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind,

To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase,

The first foe in the field;

And with a stronger faith embrace

A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such

As you too shall adore;

I could not love thee, dear, so much,

Loved I not honor more.

 

When Octavius finished the poem, there were tears in both their eyes.

Kalina...

Octavius...

Their voices melded together in a single symphony of love.

I thought you didn't want me. Kalina's voice was fierce as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. I thought I was only a fling to you – something stupid and inconsequential. I thought you didn't want me – didn't need me – didn't love me...

That could never be true!

She reached up on her tiptoes in order to be able to gaze more fully into Octavius’ eyes. They were filled with love and pain, the overwhelming and astonishing force of his emotion. It bowled her over. It overpowered her. Kalina felt that she had been struck by lightning, that the very force of his being shook her to the core. She traced circles across his cheek and lips with her fingertips.

I want to be with you, Kalina, he was saying, and she could feel the truth of his words within her, deep within her soul. She knew them to be true; the truth of the words could be heard in the rhythm of her heartbeat, the flow of her blood, the gasping of her sighs. I want to be with you as I've never wanted anything in the whole world. I will never lie to you, Kalina. I can't lie to you. I can't be with you – I cannot deny this. But nor can I deny how much I want...I need...

She could wait no longer. Desire ran hot within her. Then show me. She swept upwards on her tiptoes and let her lips brush against those of Octavius. He started back for a moment, surprised. And then, overpowered, beyond himself, he gave in to the sweet force of her kiss, opening his lips to hers. She began unbuttoning his shirt; he slipped her nightdress off her shoulders, and as they kissed they lost themselves and each other in that nebulous and astral realm of dreams, of night, of desire.

Was it a dream – or not a dream? Kalina was delirious, lost in Octavius, lost in her love, in the psychic pleasure that bound them together, in a world of night, and sleep, and stars.

 

 

Chapter 6

 

Kalina woke up the next morning in a haze. What had happened last night? Her body was aflame with desire – hot with memory. She remembered not a concrete, discrete event but rather a series of disparate images – a hand upon her thigh; lips upon her shoulder; her hands tangling in a sea of hair. She remembered too individual sensations – pleasure at once harsh and soft, desirous and delirious – remembered losing herself. Had it been a dream? Kalina looked down. There, upon her flesh, were a series of small bruises – dark clouds of purple flesh set against her snowy skin. No – it had been real. All of it. Her encounter with Octavius – mired in darkness, mired in pleasure – a dream that had inflicted itself upon reality. She had longed for him – how she had longed for him! -and he had heard the voice of her desire and so he had at last come to her, in the night.

She could not breathe. Could such a thing have really happened to her? Suddenly Kalina felt more removed from the human world than ever. How could she even explain such a thing to Maeve, who had already sensed that Kalina was losing her connection with the human world and its mores. How would Maeve react to these news – news of a dream, that was not all a dream. She sighed as she put on her dressing gown. The silk felt cooler than ever to the touch; it was only then that she realized how scorching hot her flesh had been.

 

“I'm coming in!” came a voice, as Maeve flung open the door. Kalina gasped and quickly shut her dressing gown

“What are you doing?” Kalina looked down hurriedly. “Don't you knock?”

“Time for school,” said Maeve. “I don't care if you did get into Yale – you still have to graduate.” The envy in her voice was apparent, although it was clear that she was doing her best to hide it from Kalina.

“Today? School?” But school wasn't until the first week of January. “Oh, God! School!” How quickly the time had gone by. She hadn't even remembered. “Like, now?”

“Like, five minutes ago,” said Maeve, throwing down a pair of jeans on the bed. “Come on – some of us can't afford to be docked tardy marks.”

Kalina scrambled into her jeans. It was the first time she was going back to school since she had left on her fantastic voyage with Octavius. How different everything had seemed then! How would she sit in her seat, listen to teachers lecture – when she had spoken to Renaissance men and Ancient Romans directly! When she had seen so much more of the world than she could ever have imagined! How could she sit in the lunchroom, pretending to worry about cheerleading and popularity contests, when all that mattered to her now was the voice of Octavius echoing in her ear.

It had meant so much to Octavius that she get an education, that he not come between her and the life she would have lived had she not met him. Yet high school seemed so far away now.

They arrived at the high school only a few minutes late; Maeve had driven past more than a few stop signs on the way. “Worth the fines,” she muttered, as they parked and Maeve scrambled for first period calculus. They stopped briefly on the stairs.

“Who are those guys?” Maeve frowned. “New security guards or something?”

Kalina recognized them instantly They were vampires – ferocious vampires, able to withstand the sun. She glanced at the seal of their rings – Octavius’ men. So the ones he had promised to send to protect her had materialized. One of them gave her a reverent nod – almost, she thought with not a slight hint of amusement, like a knight nodding to his queen.

“Probably some businessmen or something,” said Kalina. “Or drug dealers!”

Maeve conceded the laugh – a small sign Kalina had been forgiven for their argument of the night before. Then she looked around, nervously. “I don't know,” said Maeve. “These guys seem...weird, somehow.”

Kalina knew she could no longer lie to Maeve. “They're Octavius' men, I think.”

“Octavius, your....?”

Ex-boyfriend? Boyfriend? Even Kalina didn't know at this point. She sighed deeply. “He said he'd send them to protect me – to protect us.”

“Since when?” Maeve sputtered.

“Since last night.” Kalina admitted.

“Last night?” Maeve looked confused. “What happened last night?”

“Octavius visited me,” Kalina tried to explain, knowing ever more how much stupider she sounded by the day to a human. “In my sleep – in my dreams. We communicate that way. Telepathically.”

“You do what?” Maeve put her hands on her hips. “Kalina – that's ridiculous. Are you sure you didn't just have a dream?”

“No – it's not like that!” Kalina protested. “Octavius and I – we have this telepathic connection. We can talk to each other in our sleep, or in our minds. Whenever I need him, he's there.”

“So why isn't he here himself, instead of sending these goons?” They clearly made Maeve uncomfortable; she shuddered. “I don't get it.”

“He's in Europe,” said Kalina. “I don't know where – he's hunting down Mal. He sent his best men to keep us safe – he wants the best for us.”

“Well, they can protect you,” said Maeve, “as much as you want. But listen, Kalina, I don't want any vampires following me around. I don't see why one vamp is any more trustworthy than any other.”

“But it's Octavius,” said Kalina. “It's different with him.”

“Yeah, like it was different with Stuart? Or different with this Jaegar guy – who suddenly wants to kill you?”

“It's...complicated. Jaegar was like Stuart, but drinking my blood changed him. You know I told you there’s something special about my blood…”

The tension between the two of them was mounting; Kalina could sense Maeve's tension, her anger. The day did not improve. A mysterious-looking exchange student in one of their classes bore clear signs of vampirism, as did the men sharing a cigarette beneath the bleachers, the coach mysteriously submissive to their presence. Wherever they turned, they saw the black-suited men, making stark eye contact with Kalina before retreating into silence and watchful quietude. Soon they even began making Kalina feel uncomfortable. She would, for all that she appreciated the protection, have much rather had Octavius there to protect her in person. There was something in the harsh eyes of these security vampires she did not altogether like. They regarded her, it was clear, with a sense of superiority – they were loyal, but she was to them Octavius' treasure, valued because Octavius valued her, and while they would defend her to the death, they wouldn't take orders from her – wouldn't leave, even for Maeve's sake. They took orders only from Octavius, and Octavius had ordered them to shadow her every move. Their proprietary gaze made Kalina shiver.

They met up with Stuart that afternoon.

“Well,” said Kalina, her voice shaky. “What shall we do now?”

“The Stomping Ground?” asked Stuart. The converted winery had been one of the most popular places for Kalina and her friends to go in days gone by. It seemed so long ago.

They headed over and ordered two cheeseburgers, Stuart surreptitiously bringing his own flask of vampire wine. Kalina could see a table of two more men next to them, ordering nothing but two sodas they had left untouched. Vampires, clearly.

“I heard from Octavius,” said Kalina. Maeve made a face, but she continued. “He says he's pretty sure Aaron's alive.”

Stuart looked relieved. “I've been trying to establish a telepathic connection with him, but...” His voice trailed off. Stuart didn't have the vampire strength of Jaegar or Octavius.

“He'll keep us posted,” said Kalina.

But as she looked at the vampire guards, staring at them over their intact sodas, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of doubt. Is this what Octavius thought of her? A thing to be protected – to be shielded from the outside world? Someone who couldn't be trusted on her own? Her feelings of uncertainty grew worse as the days passed, and she did not hear from Octavius again. Perhaps he had only wanted her body – to release himself of stress – and then vanish again. She felt her doubts mount as the days wore on, as Octavius did not respond to her calls, and his men stared stony-eyed at her in the school corridors, behind the bleachers.

And all the while, she heard Jaegar's voice calling intermittently in her head.

I will find you, Kalina, my love. And when I do, you'll wish I had killed you long ago.

 

 

Chapter 7

 

The following day Justin came home from his medical conference. He set down his bags in the doorway and knocked loudly. “Hello?” He called out. Kalina rushed downstairs to greet him. She had gotten his text message and eagerly prepared to meet him after school. After all, it had been nearly a month since she had seen her brother. He had left in early December to attend a medical conference – one that suddenly, inexplicably, his employer had decided he absolutely could not miss, a conference that had turned into an offer to attend a three week long seminar in Chicago. Kalina knew that Justin's sudden, meteoric career progression had been helped out by Octavius, who had used compulsion to ensure that Justin would not notice Kalina's long absence, but she was proud of him nonetheless. She felt that Octavius was only securing for him the successes that his hard work had led him to deserve.

“Justin!” Kalina called out, rushing down the stairs. She enveloped her brother in her arms. “How are you doing? I missed you so much when you were away!”

“You're getting bigger and taller by the day!” Justin joked, picking his sister up in his arms. “How was your trip with Stuart? In Aspen.”

“Yeah, Stuart...” Kalina couldn't believe how much had happened since she and Justin last spoke. She hadn't even told Justin about the breakup – let alone vampires, Octavius, or anything else that might make an older brother's head explode...

“Were his parents nice?”

“Yeah, sure!” Kalina looked down, trying to hide her blush.

“I tried a couple of times, but I couldn't get through when I tried to call you. I figured reception must be pretty bad out there. I shouldn’t have let you go by without me, but you’re eighteen now and…” Kalina saw the guilt on Justin’s face.

“It's a ski lodge,” said Kalina. “The chalet's in the middle of nowhere, seriously...I would have called or written, but we don't even have internet access there.”

“Total wilderness,” Justin laughed. “Well, I hope you had a nice time. And – erm...” He began pacing the room. “Well, a safe time, if you know what I mean. I know Stuart's a great guy – I trust him completely – but my head wasn't exactly screwed on straight at that age, if you know what I mean.”

“First of all, ew,” said Kalina, glad to have even the most unsavory of topics to stall the conversation, “secondly, don't worry. You're not going to see me wheeled into the maternity ward anytime soon.”

“Good – because I would worry...”

“I'm responsible!” Kalina protested. “Besides...you don't have to worry. Stuart and I aren't – I mean we...we're not...”

“You broke up?” Justin reached out a hand to pat Kalina's shoulder.

“It's okay, we're still...”

“Are you okay? Do you want me to go, like, beat him up or something? Because I would, you know! Nobody messes with my little sister!”

Kalina laughed. “It's okay,” she said. “It was my decision. I'm not heart-broken or anything – and Stuart and I are still really good friends. It's just – we were more like friends than anything else, you know? And it just became more and more clear the more time we spent together.”

“I won't lie,” said Justin, “those are definitely words a brother wants to hear. What happened?”

“There's...someone else,” said Kalina. “There was someone else I had feelings for. I just felt, like – you know – my blood was calling out for...somebody else.

“For somebody else?” Justin looked concerned. “Kalina, what do you mean?”

“It's hard to explain,” Kalina looked down. “It's just...it has to do with my blood, you know – and maybe I'm just – well – I'm meant for somebody else.”

“Somebody else in particular – or just somebody else generally?”

Kalina took in a deep breath. “I'm not dating anybody right now, if that's what you mean. But...haven't you ever felt that with somebody, Justin? A real blood connection?”

Justin sighed. “For somebody else?” Justin looked concerned. “Kalina, what do you mean? Like a soul connection?”

“It's hard to explain,” Kalina looked down. “It's just...it has to do with my blood, you know – and maybe I'm just – well – I'm meant for somebody else. Like a soul connection.” Except vampires don’t have souls so the connection is through blood and the essence of life or soul in the blood.

Justin drew in a deep breath. “I should have known this would happen one day, Kalina,” he said.

“What would happen?”

“You're curious about your birth parents, aren't you?” Justin looked down. “All this stuff about blood – blood connections – I should have seen it sooner. I know I'd be worried...”

“Look, Justin, all that stuff about vampires...”

“Vampires, yeah!” Justin laughed. “For over twenty years I've thought of myself as a man of science – a rational person. But all this stuff going on lately...it's stuff I can't explain. Shadows of men in trees. Mysterious presences – things I sense but can't know...”

“It's real, Justin,” said Kalina, quietly. “And I think I'm part of it. I think I'm connected to it.”

“Vampires?”

“I've seen them. I've fought them off. I've looked them in the eyes. They've...they've been coming after me...”

“Kalina, are you crazy?”

“It's real, Justin. There's something about my blood, Justin! Something different. Something special. Something that's been sending vampires after me.”

“How did you...”

“When I was in Europe. For that math competition. I went to a library – looked up some records...”

Justin sighed. “You know what I've always told you, right? That you were the cutest little baby our parents had ever seen – that they simply had to adopt you the moment they saw you?”

“Yeah.”

“That's the story. That's the true story. But it's not the whole story, if you know what I mean.”

“So my blood...”

“Listen, Kalina. It's not your fault. You didn't cause all these attacks – these vampire attacks. And people – vampires included, have to take responsibilities for their own actions...”

He was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Kalina shot up. “Don't open it,” she said. “Don't invite...let me see who it is first, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kalina breathed a sigh of relief as she peered through the peephole. It was Stuart.

“Come in,” she said, quickly shutting the door behind them. “Justin, you remember Stuart, don't you?”

Justin looked a bit confused – Kalina had, after all, just finished telling him the story of their breakup – but he shot Stuart a smile.

“I've brought some food,” said Stuart. “I thought you could use a proper meal.”

“Stuart is such a good friend” said Kalina emphatically, and Justin nodded.

“I hope you don't mind,” said Stuart, turning to Justin. “I brought this along from our cellars. 1910 vintage – Cabernet Sauvignon.”

“19...10” Justin started.

“Something special,” said Stuart. “Don't feel obliged to open it now – I've brought a simple bottle for dinner....” He produced one of vampire wine.

I'll need this if I'm going to be around you all the time, Kalina. Unless you want a repeat of what happened in the car.

She smiled and squeezed his hand.

“Nothing for me now, thanks,” said Justin. “My beeper could go off at any moment.”

Dinner cheered Kalina up somewhat. It was nice being all together again – Justin, Kalina, and Stuart. The two boys got along admirably together, Kalina thought. Almost like a real family.

After dinner Stuart began looking uncomfortable. At last, when he returned to the living room, he turned to Justin. “Sir,” he said. “I would normally ask the parents' permission for this sort of thing....but in this instance – I hope it's not inappropriate…”

“What?” Justin furrowed his brow.

“The – ah – the senior promenade is coming up – and I would love the honor – I would be honored – to escort Kalina...” his voice trailed off.

The prom! Kalina had almost forgotten – the biggest dance of the year had seemed so insignificant against so much else that had been going on in her life.

Justin looked confused – almost as confused as Kalina felt. Never had she heard of any prospective date asking parents – or brothers – for permission. Stuart really hadn't gotten in step with the times. Nevertheless, there was something endearing about his nervousness and gentlemanly ways.

“Well,” said Justin, “Kalina's eighteen. She can make her own decisions on the matter. I won't stand in anyone's way. It's really up to Kalina. Although...” he laughed. “I'm flattered that you think I have such a say over what Kalina does and doesn't do. She's still my little sister, after all.”

“I'd love to!” Kalina couldn't help laughing – even giggling. “I'd love to go to the prom.” It was the first normal thing in her life since Europe, since Octavius, since Mal – the first real, genuine, exciting, normal, teenaged thing. She couldn't have predicted her own gleeful response.

“Well, dude,” said Justin, shifting uncomfortably, “guess you've got your answer then.”

When Stuart had left, Justin sat down next to Kalina, producing a box she had not seen before. “I meant to give you this for your eighteenth birthday,” said Justin, but we missed this opportunity – we were both away...I'm sorry about that. But Mom and Dad – they gave it to me to give to you...until you were eighteen...”

He produced a beautiful garnet pendant with an antique burnish-brown ornate oval frame on a narrow chain – simple yet elegant. “It was around your neck when you were a baby, in the orphanage. Mom and Dad didn't want to tell you you were adopted – they were going to tell you when you turned eighteen – but when they died I thought it was right to tell you then... All that stuff you said about your blood got me thinking. Because – there is something different about you. When you were two years old – you hit your head. Needed stitches. But you...something was weird about your blood type. Dad decided to treat you himself, in the end – because the hospital couldn't get its paperwork together – your blood type kept showing up all over the place...”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Kalina asked.

“We didn't want you to feel different,” said Justin. “Whatever weird thing was going on with you – you seemed healthy enough – and we didn't want to make you feel like a freak or something – especially when you were so young.”

Kalina's mind raced. Could she have handled this – all that terrible truth – at the age of two or three? How about nine or ten? Thirteen? She sighed – even now, Life’s Blood was too much to take in.

“Look, Justin – I'm not mad at you or anything, but I could really use a nap right now. Do you....do you mind?”

She fingered the garnet pendant.

“No, of course,” said Justin. He kissed her forehead. “You know no matter what, you're always my sister, right?”

“Right,” said Kalina. She sighed.

 

Chapter 8

 

The next few weeks passed by in a bit of a haze. The vampire security guards had gone from being an intrusion to an accepted part of life – and although their cold eyes and constant watchful presence gave Kalina a bit of a shiver she eventually got used to them, and tried to ignore their stealthy presence in her corridors, in her classrooms, at the bleachers or the Stomping Ground. They seemed to use compulsion on the others – escaping their notice – although Maeve often complained of a bitter cold every time they entered the room – but Kalina could see them. Nevertheless she managed to ignore them and participate in life as fully as she could. She scrambled to finish her homework, her routines for the cheerleading team's next game, and soon it was time for senior prom, late in March.

“I can't believe it,” said Maeve, who was going with an artistic senior called Joe Ellison, “I feel so old!”

And then the night was upon her, and it was time for Kalina to get dressed and get ready herself for the prom.

A knock came at the door. When Kalina opened it, she saw Stuart, looking as she had never seen him before. He was much more handsome, with a sultry smile in his eyes. His tuxedo was elegantly cut, old-fashioned – the sort of dapper and suave suit that would have seemed so out of place in the present day were it not for Stuart's incredible beauty, which rendered anything that might have seemed strange in a high school setting to nothing more than licensed eccentricity.

Kalina for her part had dressed all in black, in a sea of foaming velvet that tapered off above her breast, leaving her neck and shoulders swan-like and uncovered. Above her breasts she wore a shimmering necklace, studded with a single diamond gem. She had received the box in the mail – a necklace with a message. For a rite of passage – and a chance for you to lead a life as beautiful as you are. -O. The necklace had, as if by magic, conspired to go perfectly with the dress.

When Stuart's eyes fell upon her, Kalina could hear the swift intake of breath, sharp and heady.

“Say hi for the camera – Kalina, Stuart!” Justin waved a camcorder in their faces; they laughed awkwardly as they stood next to each other, fidgeting as they tried to force the corsage onto Kalina's wrist.

“Adult or no adult,” Justin whispered to her, “You're still my little sister. And I want to put these in the family scrapbook! Stuart, smile!”

They had agreed to go to the prom as friends – just as friends. But as the two of them stared at each other, taking in the beauty that had washed over them like a purifying wave, Kalina began to feel an old, familiar desire in her breast, a sense of closeness to Stuart that went beyond just friendship.

The night, too, passed as if by magic. They were lost in a sea of silk and velvet dresses – set apart by their beauty from the rest of the high school crowd, the way a precious stone is set apart in the gems of a necklace. Kalina barely noticed the jealous stares coming their way, of girls eyeing Stuart, and boys staring at her from head to toe. She could barely keep her eyes from gazing into his, they seemed made for each other tonight.

Stuart was the perfect escort, trained in the gentlemanly and chivalric arts for centuries. He kissed Kalina's hand and danced with her, bowing before each number (ballroom dancing he found easy; he swayed with some slight discomfort to the jazz and swing numbers, and bowed out entirely for the late-night R&B). He brought her punch and greeted all her friends warmly, at once making it seem that he cared for all of them deeply – because they were Kalina's friends – and yet never allowing them to release Kalina from her position of first priority in his mind. He spoke to Maeve and Joe Ellison, asked the right questions – about life, interests, college plans – and behaved with perfect charm and decorum. There was something to be said, Kalina thought, for this brand of gentlemanliness. Stuart seemed so much older and more mature than all these other boys – so much wiser – certainly he was much more mature than Aaron had been....

Aaron! But Kalina couldn't think about that now. She had forced herself to tear her mind from Jaegar and Aaron. Jaegar's fate was sealed, she knew, but perhaps there was hope for Aaron yet – she prayed for him nightly, but had resigned herself to the fact there was nothing she could do. In the wake of her return to Rutherford and the arrival of Octavius' security detail it has begun to get easier, to forget, to live normally. But every now and then Kalina felt the familiar, sharp pain of losing Aaron for a second time.

They danced a final dance on the floor – to the slow strains of “New York State of Mind,” and Stuart held Kalina close to his chest, stroking her hair softly, murmuring the sounds of the song into her neck as they swayed closely to the rhythm.

“Come outside with me,” Stuart whispered, leading her by the hand to the terrace outside the hotel where the prom was being held. The cool spring breeze drifted over them, carrying the scent of magnolias and jasmine on the porch into their nostrils.

The moonlight struck Kalina, whitening her breast and her shoulders. She stopped, framed against the magnolia plants, bathed in moonlight and the perfume from the flowers. Stuart stopped short, too, struck by her beauty.

“Kalina, I..”

“I know...” There was so much to say between them – so much which had been made so complicated. For a moment, a brief, fantastic, glimmer of a moment, they could pretend – they could forget all that and go back to that brilliant moment when all was new and glorious, when they had first kissed...

“I've waited for so long – to see you look at me again like this...” Stuart's voice was low and soft. “I could only wish...”

“Stuart.” Kalina's voice was trembling. “I feel so much for you – Stuart – I do...and if I could love you enough – feel whatever it is I'm supposed to feel...to make you human – I would. I swear it, Stuart, I really would. If I could choose – dictate my own feelings, my own heart, I swear it would be you...”

He caught her hand and pressed it to his lips.

Kalina was overcome. Maybe it was because of all the closeness they had shared these last few weeks, maybe it was because of the romantic evening, maybe it was Octavius’ blood in him, maybe it was because deep down in her, she truly loved him. Against herself, without even thinking about it, she reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the side of the mouth, somewhere between his cheek and his lips, and then somehow the chaste kiss slid down in the direction of his mouth.

“Kalina,” Stuart pulled back, surprised. The kiss had been gentle – soft – like the slow breeze of a summer morning or afternoon, but yet Kalina found her heart beginning to beat faster, nevertheless, the sweetness of the kiss heating and boiling until there was desire, too, heaving with each of her breaths.

He kissed her again, harder this time, with a direct, straightforward desire that thrilled her, shook her to the bone.

She loved Octavius – she knew she loved Octavius – and yet in his absence it was so easy, in her loneliness, in her empty heart, to turn to another love, another set of feelings. Octavius had told her they could never be together. Not with Mal around, not when Octavius was the only powerful vampire left of the consortium, and the responsibilities that went with that burden. There was so much emotion rising in her...she needed someone there, someone to kiss, to want and to be wanted by. Octavius had not returned to her since that dream – she knew what he wanted of her – to move on, to make a new life, a beautiful life without him, a life unencumbered by the impossibility of their love. Was it possible, Kalina wondered as she kissed Stuart, to love two people at once – or three or four – to love different things in different people? Before she'd started dating, when she was young and naïve, Kalina had believed that the only love was one that was sure and true and lasted forever. But her experiences with the Greystone Brothers and with Jaegar had complicated all that. For she knew that it was not the case. She had strong, powerful feelings for Jaegar and for Stuart, for Aaron and for Octavius, love and desire and friendship and gratitude and need and want all conflicting with each other, desires ricocheting off the inside of her heart like Ping-Pong balls. Was it because she was bonded by blood to these vampire brothers and their maker, bonded by love and destiny?

And Stuart had done so much for her! If it was only a question of that, only a question of deserving, Stuart would surely win. He had given up so much for her – put up with so much for her – he had given her his blood to ensure her safety, at the risk of driving himself mad with desire. If only it was possible, she thought mournfully, to simply choose whom one loved, to turn all these conflicting feelings and desires onto one person – like a spotlight – and decide that they would all be focused on one person, enough to engender true, real love.

He deserved to be human, Kalina thought. More than any of them.

He deserved so much more than that. She had to give him a chance.

Their kiss was interrupted by a sharp, piercing scream. It echoed through the night – the sound coming closer in the form of a young girl – Jeanette Willow, from history class – her aquamarine dress torn to shreds and her knees stained with blood and dirt.

“It's Ed,” she cried. “Ed!”

Ed Marlowe was Jeanette's long-term boyfriend.

“We were in the woods – you know...just...” Jeanette wailed. “And this thing came at us – animal...person....teeth – sharp teeth, I don't know if he's....”

She began wailing.

“We need to get you out of here,” said Stuart in a low, sharp whisper. “Jeanette, call the hospital. Now!”

In a flash, he had grabbed Kalina and was flying with her through the skies, the woods, the wind whipping at the speed of light against them. Kalina saw the whole of Rutherford below them, until at last her house was getting bigger and bigger beneath them – coming closer and closer – and then her feet touched the ground. Kalina put her hand on the hand rail to steady herself.

“Stuart...”

“Kalina – I'm sorry – the guards...he must have gotten past Octavius' guards.”

“Do you think it's....”

“I don't know...”

“Maeve!” Kalina shouted. “Please – Maeve! She'll be alone – a target – I know she's a target.”

“I can't leave...”

“Go!” Kalina looked up. “I can defend myself – Maeve – please, she really can't....you know where she is – her blood, your blood....”

It was true. Maeve and Stuart shared a blood link, she knew. And Stuart would know how to protect her.

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure.” Kalina began unlocking the door. “Come on, now! Go!”

Stuart nodded and vanished into the darkness.

Kalina opened the door.

 

 

Chapter 9

 

Kalina looked around. The house was dark, empty. Justin was gone. He must have gone back to the hospital, she reasoned; if there had been vampire attacks tonight, he would need to be on duty to provide blood transfusions, to provide support. She swallowed hard. The house seemed bigger than ever in the dark and in the emptiness. The wind whistled through the corridors; the gauze of the curtains fluttered like a trapped butterfly. The place felt cold; she shivered, feeling the sensation tremble from the nape of her neck to the base of her spine.

“Hello,” she called, in a breathless whisper. Fear choked her, stifling her voice. “Hello, is anyone there?”

She could not bear the silence – an expectant silence that whispered promises of danger, of desire, of death. She felt a presence in the house – a nameless, formless fear – and tried to banish it.

“Hello!”

Justin was gone. Maeve was gone. Stuart was gone. And the house was empty. And yet there was somebody there...

Kalina climbed the steps to her room on tiptoe. Nobody was in the house, she reasoned. Nobody could be in the house! It had been locked...She tried to push the fear out of her mind as she swung open the door to her bedroom.

And then she saw him.

He was sitting on her bed, swinging his feet along the floor. He looked so much like he had looked when she last saw him – the same dashing, careless beauty, the same primal power in his shoulders and neck, the look of a man who had killed and could kill, who knew what he wanted and would take it at his desire. It was Jaegar.

“So, you've picked Stuart, then,” he said, with strained nonchalance, a hint of sadness.

“Jaegar...”

Her voice caught in her throat. He looked around the room and she knew at once what he was thinking; she felt his memories pervade her own, his voice invade her head. He sent images to her through the vines of her mind – images of the last time they were alone together in the room. They had started by kissing -it had been just kissing at first – and then he had been undoing her bathrobe, his lips against her stomach, and they had come so close, achingly ever closer, to consummating their desire. How she loved him then, desired him, and how he loved her…before Octavius.

Kalina froze, the memories flooding her brain. He had stopped, then – they had stopped – so afraid of what would happen if he drank her blood, of the madness that would flood his mind, overcome his restraint – the madness of evil. He had stopped – they had stopped – and now here he was before her, his worst fears realized.

He threw back his head and laughed, an evil, eerie laugh that froze Kalina's blood. He gazed upon her with sure, direct eyes. She knew exactly, without question, without denial what it was he wanted to do to her; she knew he would not hesitate any longer.

I have waited long enough.

He rose and came towards her. She felt the familiar power of compulsion clouding her brain, a power Jaegar had sworn nevermore to use upon her, the compulsion relaxing her impulses, strengthening her desire.

The chemistry was electric.

You want me, Kalina.

And she did want him, at once; her body shuddered involuntarily with desire, as he came to her, wrapped his hands around her, drew her down to him. She was sleepwalking, walking as if in a dream, his voice and his body and his hands all echoes from a not unfamiliar past. Their chemistry had been real, once; now, ignited by magic, it was overpowering.

He kissed her; she tasted blood on his lips and still succumbed, allowing him to press her down upon the bed, into the softness of the satin sheets, slide the silk and velvet of her dress down her body revealing her lacy black bra set, kiss her breasts, his eyes dark with desire, his lips curved into a wicked smile of appreciation. He trailed hot smoldering kisses slowly down her body. She felt only desire. Then his shirt was off, and she felt his warm chest hard against her chest as his mouth kissed her passionately. “The wait only increased my desire for you…” Somewhere, in the back of her mind, her natural resistance cried out; her conscious brain ignored it. She was gazing at Jaegar as if through a fog, a haze of pleasure.

She moaned softly as he sank his teeth into her, puncturing the smooth expanses of her neck, sucking down mouthfuls of blood – more than he had taken from the vial, more than Mal had given him, at last consummating the desire that had echoed through him for centuries...Jaegar’s face was in ecstasy, drinking Life’s Blood from the very source!

No – no!

Kalina's eyes shot open; her senses returned to her. She screamed, a deafening scream that turned into a wail, and pushed Jaegar away, gaining just enough time to roll across the floor.

Think, Kalina, think. She grabbed a stake and aimed it, ready to send it straight into Jaegar's heart. She couldn't bear to kill him; she had to kill him; she couldn't bear to die.

But he was too strong for her. He took hold of her wrists, gripping them tightly until the stake fell limply from her grasp. The sun was rising outside the window, a bloody boil of light that should have fried him, should have killed him. But he'd tasted her blood now. He no longer had to fear the sun. It no longer pained him.

“Oh, Kalina,” he whispered into her neck. “Silly girl – you silly girl to resist me. How all I think about is you. Why can’t I stop thinking of you? It’s like a madness. You’re the only woman who had refused me, who I have wanted more than immortality itself. You’re the only one I had defied my maker for and would have killed my brothers for.” He kissed her cheeks and looked into her eyes. “Join me.”

“What?”

“I still want you, you know. You silly, maddening little witch – you've driven me crazy. I still want you – so much. I don't want to kill you. I just want you – all of you – all night – all day – every day.”

“Jaegar, please...”

“Even the compulsion doesn't hold you,” he laughed. “Our chemistry is explosive. Can’t you feel it? I know you can. Even now I can read your desire for me, hear your heart pound faster for me, feel the heat rising up in your body. There's so much of you – so much strength, so much power I want to drink down. Remember, don't you? In this very room. You asked me about becoming a vampire. Well, now I want to make you one. I could turn you, you know – you'd scream with pleasure you'd enjoy it so much – turn you, and then we could make love for centuries – We can really get it on vampire to vampire, without having to worry about hurting you or breaking the spell...”

“Jaegar, please! Don't...”

“You love me, don't you? Not enough to turn me human – but enough to make your weak human heart shiver at the thought of killing me. No, you won't kill me, Kalina. I can feel it. I can feel your heartbeat. I can hear your thoughts. Your desires. How much you want. Me.”

“I don't want you! Not like this.”

“You do. You know you shouldn't – you know you can't – but you do...”

“I don't,” Kalina cried. “I don't!”

“You do!” Jaegar’s mouth was on Kalina’s, his tongue lashing onto hers, sensuously stroking every part of her mouth, tasting her as though she was a delicacy. When she responded back with a soft moan, he deepened the kiss, not holding back his passion.

“Oh Jaegar…”

“Don’t you want this with me forever, Kalina?” he growled. “Because I do.”

Kalina was so deep in the haze of desire, she could barely think. The compulsion, Jaegar’s delicious masculine smell, her blood attracted to him even more now that he’s had more of her own blood, kept her from responding.

Jaegar smiled a slow wicked smile, the silver of light hitting his unearthly beautiful eyes. “I knew you’d like this.” He paused. “I just didn’t realize how much I’d like this, too.” His mouth assaulted her mouth, grabbing hold of her tongue and piercing her tongue with the tips of his extended fangs. Kalina’s eyes flew open for a second with the sharp sting, which gave away to waves of pleasure as Jaegar sucked on her tongue. When his mouth let go of her tongue, Kalina couldn’t get enough. She found herself licking Jaegar’s fangs, which made him close his eyes savoring the sensation.

Jaegar led her to her bed and laid her out, drinking in the image of her looking at him with heated desire. “God, you’re more beautiful tonight than I’ve ever seen you,” he said, looking like the old Jaegar for a moment. “You’re finally going to be mine, and the spell is going to be broken.” He kissed her cheeks, her lips, her collarbone and was headed to Kalina’s smooth soft neck with his elongated fangs when all of a sudden, quick as lightning, Kalina rolled to her side, and sprinted across the room to the door.

“I won't be forced into this, Jaegar. If you turn me, I swear to God I'll be by your side for all eternity – hating you.”

“I don't need your love,” Jaegar scoffed. “Only your blood, only your body.” He smiled that slow wicked smile again. “We can make this purely physical. I wouldn’t mind.”

Stuart, help me.

“Octavius' men will be coming soon,” Kalina's voice shook. “If you leave now, you might escape them...”

Jaegar laughed.

“They're on the way to fight you. And kill you. And I swear to God I will fight you too. Every step of the way, Jaegar.”

“Fight me?” He sniffed at her. “Fight me – me, really? Well, I suppose that would be...arousing, at least...”

As he approached her, his fangs poised to pierce her flesh once more, the door opened, flying nearly off its hinges. Stuart strode in, followed by three of Octavius' men, three of his strongest vampires.

“Brother dearest...”

But it was too late. In a flash, Jaegar had vanished; before Kalina could register what had happened, the three vampire security guards had followed him, leaving Stuart and Kalina alone.

“Stuart,” Kalina whispered. “Oh my God, Stuart...” She swayed and then fell, collapsing in Stuart's arms, weak from the blood loss.

“He bit you?” Stuart pressed his fingers to stop the wound. She could see every muscle in his face tensing, trying not to drink down the intoxicating liquid.

“Yes...he used compulsion – he's stronger than...” Than Stuart? “than before.”

He gathered her in his arms. “Rest here,” he whispered. “You're safe now.” But as he rocked her, Kalina began to feel that she would never be safe again.

 

 

 

Chapter 10

 

Kalina and Stuart sat for some time longer, staring into each other's eyes. Kalina could feel the cool and piercing force of Stuart's gaze passing over her. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, a pressure that meant safety, meant life.

“Stuart,” she whispered.

His eyes traveled all the way over her body, followed soon by his fingers, tracing the tips of her wounds, the gaping puncture marks. He inhaled deeply and Kalina knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling, the nigh-on-impossible attempt to rein in his desires.

“I want to heal you...” he whispered. But healing would require a sharing of blood – and she knew from the heat in his lips and his eyes that even Stuart could not manage to hold back.

“Kalina...I. Want. You...” She could see his eyes fixed hot upon her neck; she could feel his eyes searing into where Jaegar had left a hole. She sighed.

He was panting, although no air could have traveled through his frozen lungs. But exhaustion had sent him into a frenzy – he had rushed to her when she first sent him the telepathic message begging for his help, and now she knew what he knew: that finding her lying there, her clothing torn, her blood displayed before him, was more than he could stand.

“I'm sorry...” he tried, as his fingers traced the borders of Kalina's lips. They were bruised now, and swollen from Jaegar's kisses, and as he let his fingertips shiver up to the bottom lip Kalina remembered that mere moments before they had been kissing – so slowly and softly on the dance floor. Everything had seemed beautiful then; everything had seemed fine and wonderful and above all things…so safe.

Stuart moved in closer. He drew her lips roughly into his – more roughly than she had ever seen him do in the past – and forced her shoulders tightly against his fingers, drawing her against his chest. He struck a bruise, inadvertently, and Kalina moaned with a slight pain, melded with her unwilling desire.

“Kalina...” he drew away. “I'm...”

“You're what?”

“Did he...” Stuart looked down. “Did Jaegar...hurt you?”

“Hurt me? A bit – we...”

“I mean...”

Of course. Kalina bit back her rage. The question of sex was on his mind – it was on all their minds – impossible to separate from the nectar of her blood, from the cocktail of hormones and passions and frenzies that had drawn them all together.

“He was,” Kalina almost spat out the words with contempt. “A perfect gentleman.”

“He didn't...”

“He didn't have the time.” Kalina looked up. “He used compulsion on me – a bit...at first – I started to...before it wore off...”

Stuart stiffened.

Kalina knew what he was feeling; she didn't even need telepathy to confirm her suspicions. Stuart was angry. Angry that his brother – his cocky, beautiful, arrogant brother – could get further with Kalina than he, Stuart, had. Their chaste kisses and moonlight dances had been nothing -nothing to what Jaegar had so easily taken. For that was how Jaegar operated. He wanted things – he took them. And even evil – Jaegar was able to taste so much more of Kalina's soft flesh than he was...

Kalina looked up and she was frightened by what she saw in Stuart's eyes. There was jealousy there, through and through, a white-hot anger that seared through to her very soul.

“It was compulsion” she insisted. “I couldn't help it!”

“I know you couldn't!” Stuart's voice was angry now – his rage seeping through his self-control. She could see the images flashing through his head – her thoughts and images of her with Jaegar at the Sunrise Motel, which Stuart had so easily glossed over – of Jaegar's mouth upon her shoulders, her hips, her breasts...

She had chosen Octavius over him. She had chosen Jaegar over him. She could feel his rage. He had been good – the best – the most deserving – always the quiet one, always kind to her and chivalrous and honorable – and he felt that deep down in parts of herself she could not even fathom she wanted none of that. She wanted white-hot anger and white-hot passion, burning through her; she wanted to be overwhelmed, to lose herself and her mind in the power of her desire.

And he had been so good to her. And he had most deserved her.

And she had not loved him.

“Stuart!” Kalina cried, but her moans were silenced as he thrust her down onto the floor and began kissing her with a series of rough kisses, his teeth lightly pricking at her lips.

“I want you so much,” he was moaning – into her neck, her shoulders, her stomach. “I want you so much – I want you more than they do – I need you...your blood, your body, your life...your soul...”

“Stuart, what are you...” But she could not stop him. She did not want to stop him. In the force of his passion she was lost at last; his desire for her overwhelmed her, enchanted her, at last consumed her until she was not sure in the darkness of the night and their tangled limbs what was her desire and what was his.

“I've waited for you, Kalina,” he was whispering now. “I've waited for you so, so long...”

Kalina closed her eyes, letting the waves of pleasure pass over her.

“I haven't been selfish, Kalina. God knows I haven't been selfish. But I want to be selfish now. I want you – I want to be like him, want you like he does, make you feel like he does...”

He wanted her to himself; he wanted to slake the desire that had been building within him for the months since she had first known him. He had warned her that one day, early in their relationship, at the Stomping Ground, that he had more desire, more darkness in him, than she could ever dream of. Next to Jaegar he had seemed so quiet, so meek; she had almost disbelieved him. But she saw it now, the darkness in his eyes, in his touch and gaze and above all things in his mouth, hot on hers; she felt at last, like a coiled spring released.

Compulsion had clouded her mind before with Jaegar; now, the lines of connection were clear.

Yes. I want this, Stuart. I have always wanted this. I want to see this passionate side of you.

She did not know it was true until she had thought it into existence, and then she knew it. She still loved Octavius, missed Octavius, ached for Octavius – the world he had shown her, when she could be a woman instead of a girl, in the world instead of in a small town. And she could not have loved Stuart, not in the small and domestic way she thought he wanted.

But now...

She couldn't think of Octavius now. She had promised him, for their sake, to give him up, to love another...she wanted to give Stuart a chance. She wanted to love him.

And then her mind was clouded again, not by compulsion but by sheer pleasure, as Stuart began tearing Kalina's ball dress from her body, removing her bra, her stockings – ripping them into shreds in his passion.

“Stuart...”

She remembered the lessons Octavius had taught her in Paris.

Stuart – I want to...but I don't want to break the spell.

She grabbed hold of his wrists and rolled him over, stretching out the length of her body above him, kissing his neck, his shoulders.

There are other things we can do, Stuart.

She heard his smile pierce through her thoughts before she saw it.

I want to...

I want to..

And then words failed them, and pleasure consumed them, and it was dawn before Kalina opened her eyes again.

 

********

 

Which one of them had killed Gerard – had been responsible, had killed, really, Marilee? It was a conversation Stuart and Jaegar had had many times – time and time again, a conversation peppered with fierce blows, with wrestling in the dirt and filth of the graveyard. They were brothers – but for nearly two centuries they had not been brothers, until Aaron's death had forced them into something like an unquiet peace treaty. Since Gerard had died – since Marilee had committed suicide in grief at the death of her husband and the accusations – they had always regarded each other with clear suspicion. One of them had killed Gerard – it could have been either of them to commit that act of parricide.

After all, they had both loved Marilee. They had both longed for her – that forbidden beauty, their father's new wife. She had been so young, so sweet, with flaxen hair and red cheeks that spoke of days spent out in the fields, together at the frontier of the world. How beautiful America had seemed to all of them then – going West – a thousand sunsets and nights across the American plains together. Of course they had both loved her – how could they not! And how could they have not hated their father – their father whose pretty young wife was the only woman they could not have, a woman their father could love every night in the room next to them...

Jaegar grimaced. He could not think of Marilee now.

He had fled into the night – he had been so close, with Kalina – so close to tasting her, to wanting her, to consuming her into nothingness. Her love had brought him back to humanity, once; it had brought him close enough to Stuart again that the two of them could look each other in the eyes like brothers, with one hundred years' worth of forgiveness upon them.

Three of Octavius’ men were chasing him – he recognized them. One had severed his finger that night in the fields, intending to leave him to burn at sunlight as punishment – stripped of his ring he would have been broiled alive in agony, had it not been for Kalina, who found him. How he realized then how much she meant to him.

Jaegar sized up the other two men. One had chained him to the wall in Octavius’ dungeon. The strongest vampires in the world – a Mongol soldier, a former Roman gladiator, a trained Aztec warrior.

They had been some of the strongest vampires in the world.

But they had not tasted Life’s Blood, Kalina’s blood.

It took him only an hour to kill the three of them, an hour strewn with limbs and blood, with the wailing of final death. Thousands of men had tried, and failed to kill them.

And now it took Jaegar only an hour.

He inhaled the sharp air of dawn, and looked upon a sunrise – in complete silence, complete, delirious silence – without any pain, the slow burn at last vanished for the first time in seven hundred years.

 

Chapter 11

 

Kalina slept deeply that night. The chaos of the whole evening – from her kiss with Stuart at the prom, to the trauma with Jaegar, to the passion she had experience with Stuart afterwards, had overwhelmed her. Combined with severe blood loss – a loss she had barely even registered until it was almost too late – the events of the preceding twelve hours had combined to drain her emotionally as well as physically. When at last she and Stuart had finished, she fell asleep against him, a sleep so deep that Stuart could not even telepathically connect to her dreams. He pressed her shoulders softly – no answer. He stared at her – the drained, pale white figure before him – and realized what he should have seen before, when his mind was clouded by desire. She had been injured – seriously – by Jaegar's attack; they had both forgotten it in the heat of the moment, but now he could see everywhere the scratches and bite marks Jaegar had made upon her.

Stuart sighed and bit into his wrist, letting a few droplets of his blood trickle out onto Kalina's lips. In her sleep she moaned and sighed, arching her back and neck so that the delicate taste could be sucked down into her neck. He sighed with her pleasure, seeing her give a low, sensual cry – deep in the mind of sleep – as her cuts gradually began to heal, lines and scratches evaporating into a sea of creamy white flesh.

It was easier now, Stuart thought. It had been terrible – in its beauty – being with Kalina, being so close to this exquisite young woman, losing himself in her, and yet unable to bite her, although the smell of her blood – fresh and loose – had filled his nostrils, crowded over his mind and soul and sanity. How he must love her to constantly be with her and yet not be with her. Kalina was like the ladies he swore to love and protect back in the Middle Ages when he was a knight. Yet she was much more, and he couldn’t help falling for her, her smile, her bravery, her fragility, her spirit, her resilience to all the grief she’d experienced, her intelligence, her beauty, and especially her capacity to love generously. She seemed endless in her ability to love others, even monsters like himself and Jaegar. She was Humanity itself.

Not many vampires would have resisted, Stuart knew bitterly. He was one of the few – the lucky few – to retain enough of his humanity to avoid killing her. Enough of his humanity to avoid experiencing the greatest pleasure he could possibly know. But he had gotten to know her, like Aaron had, and he knew he couldn’t just take her.

Kalina looked almost peaceful as she slept, the stress now banished by the power of the vampire blood coursing through her veins. Stuart gazed tenderly at her and began stroking her hair, feeling the delicate strands – like strains of silk – rustle beneath his fingers. Her soft full lips slightly opened as her sweet warm breath flowed in and out. He loved kissing those lips, loved tasting them over and over again last night. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, wishing some of her warmth could be transferred to him.

Brother.

Stuart whipped up.

I can hear you now, brother. I've had her blood. She's had yours.

No, Jaegar wasn't in the room – not physically. But Stuart could sense his presence everywhere, and the knowledge prickled him with anger. It was his brother as he had always known him best – remembered him most – the voice in his ear telling him all the things he didn't know or want to know about himself – about the woman he loved.

Hello brother. The voice was filled with smiles – a lascivious grin in the middle of the tones. How is our sleeping princess doing? Did you tire her out?

You are not welcome here, Jaegar. Stuart shut his eyes tight, willing his brother out.

And at last – you did it. I wouldn't have thought you had it in you. I wouldn't think you had enough vampire in you to bed the girl. But you did. Stuart's head echoed with Jaegar's laughter. But not enough, eh Stuart? Not enough to take her blood. Not enough to take her virginity. Jaegar gave a mock sigh that sent shivers up and down Stuart's spine. If only she'd been...if only you'd been stronger, eh, brother?

Go away, Jaegar. You are not wanted here.

Oh, I think I am wanted. By her, brother. By her. Did you feel how she kissed you later after I'd left her – I left her all nice and ready for you. I left her aflame, turned on, overwhelmed by desire, wanting passion...that girl needs a strong vampire. A vampire who can match her. Not a weak do-gooder with water instead of blood in his veins.

Stop it – just stop it.

She has fire in her blood, Stuart. I can tell you this. I know. She has fire in that Life’s Blood of hers, and it burns my throat when I drink it down but it feels so good – it tastes so good – I would do it anyway, gladly. Believe me brother. It is not like the taste of that virgin we shared in Paris back in 1792 – you thought she was willing, didn't you? You never suspected I used compulsion on her...

No – no! Stuart closed his eyes tighter, but he knew the voices in his head had reached too deeply within his soul.

Better than that flaxen maiden we shared in 1472 in Germany – the Rhine – before you went good. Back when you were interesting. Back when you didn't try to control this force within you – this power!

I was another man then.

You were a vampire then, my brother! And now she's going to leave us both – can't you understand that? Leave us both and go back to Octavius. The same Octavius who imprisoned me and you alike, who left me for dead – who treated our feelings with so little care that he demanded we sacrifice Life’s Blood for him. For him! For that silent philosopher! What a waste – he'll get every night in bed with that little Kalina...and we won't get a taste. Unless you help me... You always wanted to be included, didn't you, little brother? You always wanted me to invite you along in my reindeer games. Well, now you can.

Stuart felt his skin prickle and he knew what Jaegar said. He knew his desire was as strong as Jaegar's – as desperate a need. He had wanted her – God knew he wanted her – and she had denied him. He forced himself back into the realm of morality; he would not do it!

I will not take her blood against her will, Jaegar. I will not take her against her will.

What a pity. We could have shared her. Brothers share, don't they, Stuart? You shared her with me before...

You never tasted her – she never let you taste her. Stuart begged, pleaded for an echo of his brother inside this monstrous new voice. It was only Mal – Mal who forced you...Mal who destroyed you.

Mal gave me the greatest of gifts. Jaegar laughed. I am free. Free of guilt, of pain. Of all restraints.

He killed the Consortium – do you think you're safe from him.

He's the most powerful vampire around. For now. I've drunk a lot of Kalina's blood – Mal's vials, and then some from that hot little neck myself...and I'll get stronger and stronger. And soon Octavius won't even be a paltry second…

You won't get her. Stuart rose, chasing shadows as he scanned the room. I won't let you touch her. I won't let you taste her.

We'll have to see about that, won't we, brother? Last night – she wanted me. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. We have a bond, brother. She broke through my compulsion. Did she tell you that? She broke through my compulsion – and yet she was still hot in bed with me. Letting me touch her – stroke her – taste her. I've had her blood and she's had mine. No other vampire in the world can say that much. Not even Octavius. And that old man is just a passing fancy of hers. Like you. I can feel her thoughts now, Stuart. I know. I can feel her desire for me. Nor will I doubt or deny mine for her. I want her – that rug inside her veins. And I will have her.

Octavius will not allow...

Octavius? Ha! That old fool released her – let her go. Told her to choose one brother. He couldn't keep her safe. He couldn't keep her happy. Now she can choose whomever she wants. Will she choose you – sweet, gentle, impotent Stuart...or will she choose me?

Stuart punched the wall, scraping his knuckles in a single whirl of fury. If she ever loved you, Stuart concentrated harder. She despises you now. Who you are. What you've become. You've become a monster – like Mal.

A monster? Jaegar's cackle filled the room. I'm becoming a god!

And Kalina?

Kalina? Well, dear brother – let me tell you exactly what I'll do to her. A sip here – a sip there – a suck, a nibble, a taste...until she's almost drained – sweaty – in bed with me. And then I'll turn her – and feast on her again and again – every night in our blood-drenched bed – while you scrabble for rat blood and vampire wine out in the cold!

You wouldn't!

Why not? Jaegar scoffed. It's what Father did to Marilee

Don't you talk about Marilee. White-hot rage clouded Stuart's vision. Don’t you dare talk about Marilee.

Try and stop me, little brother. I'm at the Winery. Are you bold enough – are you stupid enough – to think you can best me?

Stuart stopped cold.

If I don't see you tonight at the Winery – I'll return to Kalina. I'll take her. I'll have her. And if I do see you – well, I'll give her another day. Another day to run.

So this is what Jaegar intended. A fight to the end. To the death.

The gauntlet had been thrown down. There was only one thing to do.

I will fight you, Jaegar. I have been waiting to fight you for centuries. For Kalina. And for Marilee.

And then Stuart's thoughts went black, and Jaegar vanished, and as Kalina murmured into morning and dawn struck the pillow, Stuart's mind was engulfed in darkness.

 

Chapter 12

 

He woke up with Kalina in his arms. She was soft, encircled by his arms and legs, so pliant and smooth beneath his fingers. He woke up to the smell of her, the lingering perfume from prom the night before mingled with the delicious, intoxicating scent of sweat and passion – bolstered up by a hint – just a hint, but such a tantalizing one – of her blood. She moved softly in her sleep, giving a low moan as she turned into him. She wanted him, Stuart realized, as she unconsciously buried her face in his chest, brushed her fingertips against his shoulders. She needed him. With her eyes still closed, still asleep, she kissed his bare chest, while running her fingers along his rock solid stomach. Did she love him? Stuart sighed. He couldn't say – that much was true. And yet she had loved him last night – given herself to him so entirely and completely that he could not doubt the veracity of her kisses, her moans, her sighs. She had loved him – then. Would she love him now?

He kissed her awake – softly, slowly, beginning with his lips on her shoulders and then trailing them through every part of her body. She was naked, and in her nakedness there was no shame, no embarrassment, only glorious freedom, like Eve at the dawn of the world. Would his death be enough to save her? One day – that was all that Jaegar would give her. One day. Would it be enough?

Stuart shuddered as fear overtook him; the movement startled Kalina into wakefulness.

“What is it?” she said, groaning as she raised herself up on her elbows. “What's happened?”

“Kalina...” His voice said it all. His one word, the invocation of her name, was so full of love and passion that Kalina stopped short.

“Stuart...” she whispered back. “What is it?”

How could he tell her? How could he say goodbye? He swallowed back his grief and began stroking the side of her face – as tenderly as possible, careful not to mar the creamy smoothness of her cheeks. If she had loved him enough, perhaps it could have all gone to plan. Perhaps she could have made him human. Perhaps they could have shared together the life he had always longed for, always dreamed of, have more nights and days like last night. Last night with Kalina was pure happiness. Leaving Kalina would be his only regret. But it was too late to think about that now.

She was the best of him; she brought out the best in him. She brought out the best in all vampires – the humanity that they all longed for, Stuart was convinced, they all secretly desired more than anything in the world. She brought out his ability to love and be loved, to do things unselfishly, to staunch his fierce desire for blood, for destruction, for death. Her effect on all vampires had been tremendous. Her blood was truly the blood of Life, Stuart thought. It was the blood that meant vampires could dream – just a dream, but a dream nonetheless, of being humans again.

Kalina must be protected, Stuart knew. Whatever the price. Whatever the cost.

Even if he were the cost.

“Thank you for last night,” said Stuart slowly, raising Kalina's fingers to his lips. “I am sorry...if I frightened you. I did not mean to lose control. I never mean to lose control.”

Kalina smiled and planted a quick kiss on his lips. “I like it when you lose control,” she said. “Don't worry – I enjoyed it. Every minute of it.”

Stuart could not look her in the eye. He knew this part would be the hardest of all.

“What is it?” Kalina lifted his chin up so that her eyes reflected his. “What's wrong?”

“I heard from Jaegar last night, Kalina.”

“What – when?”

“When you were sleeping. He came to me telepathically. Now that you and I have strengthened our blood bond, and Jaegar is bonded to you – he can come again to me, speak into my mind as never before.”

“What did he say?” Kalina frowned. “What does he want?”

“He has challenged me, Kalina. To a fight to the death. And his terms are...his terms may give you a chance to live.”

“Terms? What terms?”

“If I do not fight him, he comes for you tonight.”

“And if you do fight him?”

“Then when I am dead, he will give you one day. One day to run.”

“When you are dead?” Kalina tightened her grip on his wrists. “Stuart, what are you talking about? Please – tell me...”

“I cannot dream of besting Jaegar in combat, Kalina,” he said. “You know that. We both know that. My brother far outstripped me back when we were both but vampires; with Life’s Blood in him, he is unbeatable.”

Kalina's lips began to tremble. “Last night,” she said slowly, forcing back the tears. “When Jaegar came to me – I wanted so badly to believe...that he wasn't all bad, after all. That there were still traces of the real Jaegar – my – our Jaegar there that I even allowed him to kiss me. But now...”

“But now,” sighed Stuart.

“This isn't Jaegar,” said Kalina, her voice shaking. “I know this isn't Jaegar. This – thing – that would be so cruel, so monstrous, that would force us to make these impossible choices. This is not the man I cared for. This is not your brother.”

“This is exactly my brother!” Stuart spat, his voice beginning to take on the tones of rage. “Of course it is – this is how he was all along...I knew it....”

“Stuart, what are you....”

“I reconciled myself to him – as was necessary. After Aaron was thought dead, we were forced into an alliance for your sake. But I have never forgotten our estrangement. I have never forgotten what happened to Marilee.”

“Marilee?”

“A woman we both loved,” said Stuart shortly, without looking at her. “A woman whom Jaegar caused to die.”

“Jaegar killed her?”

“Not directly. He killed our father.”

Kalina started. “What?”

“I cannot prove it. Perhaps it will never be proven. But I know. I know. He was found dead days after Jaegar and I argued over Marilee.”

“Why would he kill...”

“Marilee was my father's wife. Aaron's mother. We both loved her – she loved our father. She allowed herself to be turned – willingly! - in order to be with him.”

“Someone would be willingly turned?”

“She gave birth to Aaron – and then had Octavius turn him when he turned eighteen – for Marilee could not bear the idea that her son would grow older than she.”

“I see.”

“And then our father was murdered – oh, Jaegar will never admit it – he says always that it was I who did the deed. He mocks my self-control, tells me that at the most crucial moments, I abandon it...” Stuart sighed. “But he killed our father; I know it in my soul. And then Marilee could not bear the thought of eternity without him. And so she walked into the sun. Without a ring. Without a shawl. And she burned – and we watched her burn. The Jaegar you knew was...an aberration. His love for you made him good – for a while. But perhaps Mal's interference has transformed him into what he always was, only stronger.”

“I can't believe that,” said Kalina. “He seemed so good.”

“I would stake myself,” said Stuart, “before being force-fed your blood. I can promise you that, Kalina.”

“You can't go!” Kalina cried. “Stuart – you can't...”

“I must.” He kissed her hand. “I have no other choice. There is no other way.”

“There must be another way – some other way!”

“If I could...”

“If we left now – you and me – together. Went into hiding. Went east to New York – or back to Europe – then maybe he wouldn't find us...”

“And then he would go after Justin, Kalina. And then he would go after Maeve. He will not rest until he has found you – and he will kill anyone that gets in his way. This day I can give you. These twenty-four hours. Use them well. Use them wisely. Get Justin and Maeve out of town. Jaegar and I have had this date from the beginning – since my father died. Since Marilee. It is about you, Kalina, but it is not only about you. You must not blame yourself. It was a fuel to the death that had been in the works long before we met you. Long before we fell in love with you. Both of us. If such a creature as Jaegar is possibly capable of love...” Stuart's voice trailed off. “If he is capable, Kalina, then perhaps you made him so.”

“I can't let you die like this, Stuart! I can't leave you.” She began kissing him – his neck, his shoulders, all over his body, wrapping herself up in the blanket as her body began to shake and shiver from the pain. “Stuart – I'm so sorry...it's all my fault...all my fault...my blood – my stupid, cursed, blood.”

He held her steady until at last her sobs had quieted.

“It is not your fault, Kalina,” said Stuart. “Remember that. You must always remember that. You are not to blame. Now listen to me, Kalina. You must listen to me. You must pack as quickly as possible – get out of this place. Bring Justin with you, and Maeve. Get them out of Rutherford tonight. I will meet Jaegar at the Winery. I will do...I will do my best. Perhaps it will not be so bad after all. Perhaps I will be able to defeat him...it will be fine, Kalina – do not worry – perhaps there is hope.”

“But Stuart!” Kalina threw her arms around him. “I can't risk it – Stuart. I don't want to risk it. Not when my feelings for you are so...I want to love you, I want my vampire love to be you.”

He kissed her forehead.

“If only we had more time, eh?” He gave her a weak smile. “Then perhaps you could have loved me.”

“I love you now,” she said fiercely.

“But true love is a more complicated thing altogether, my darling.”

Kalina sighed.

“Listen to me, Kalina, darling.” He drew her shoulders into him, pressing his lips against hers, trying to express all his love, all his ardor with a single kiss. His words came to her in fits of telepathy. Even if I die tonight, I will die knowing that I spent my last night with you – knowing that you cared for me, that you trust me. For although I am a monster – like Jaegar, like other vampires, all other vampires – with you I can be a man, the man I always dreamed of being. You have made me feel more alive than I have felt in centuries...more alive than I have felt....even when I was a man with a heartbeat and drawings of breath. And I will always be grateful to you for that. I don’t think I have ever loved another woman as much as I love you.

He moved his lips away from hers; she drew in breath sharply.

“I can't let you go...” she whispered.

But it was too late. He had gotten out of bed, now, and was packing for her – taking clothes and shoving them into the suitcase that still lay under her bed from her trip with Octavius.

“I cannot let you die,” he said.

He stopped and turned to her.

“If you need money,” he said, “take this ring. It will be worth something.”

She felt the familiar shape drop into her hand. This was the Life’s Blood ring – the ring that allowed him to walk in the sunlight unharmed.

And together they knew that he would walk in no more sunlights.

“I can't accept this,” she whispered.

“You must.” He cupped her face. “Kalina, I have already died once before. This time it will be for something worthy.”

She turned her face away.

 

Chapter 13

 

Stuart sighed as he took the road down to Greystone Wineries. It was a road he had traveled many times before, but never did the tiniest elements of things seem as clear to him as they did right now. The leaves were sharper, their definition cutting against the evening sky. Sunset had come over him – the faintest pink glimmer vanishing in the horizon as inky expanses of night clouded out even the stars. The rocks beneath him felt rough through his boots; he could hear every footstep and every crunch of every leaf deafening him as he walked. Was this to be his last night on earth? He looked up at the night and there was nothing there to comfort him, to console him.

The road took him through the outskirts of town, through the quieter parts of Rutherford. There were no lights here, no chain stores, no gatherings of students as there were in the center, in places like the Stomping Ground and the high school. It was better this way, Stuart thought. He was not sure he could bear the sight of anything that reminded him of how much life had to offer – and how quickly it would be gone.

Another crunch upon the leaves; another footstep – and every step Stuart took towards the wineries was a step towards death.

You are doing this for Kalina, he told himself. Remember the woman you love. Whatever you do, you must remember the woman you love.

He gazed out into the distance.

He remembered that when he was a young man, and afflicted with despair, he used to go into church. These were Medieval churches, then – the great and Gothic stone monoliths that dotted the English countryside in those days, with the great and intoxicating smell of incense and candles and sacred stained glass. He used to pray for the intercession of Blessed Virgin and of all the saints – his favorite was Saint Michael, who was the archangel of justice. He had felt then, seven hundred years ago, that prayer brought him closer to the divine, something at once unfamiliar and all-encompassing: paternal warmth and eternal power.

It had been nearly seven hundred years since he had allowed himself to pray. He saw the steeple of Our Blessed Lady of the Candle in the distance, and bowed his head.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

He had killed – murdered – again and again; he was a monster with a lust for blood he could not control. If Adam had rendered all mankind sinful, then Octavius had rendered Stuart as a vampire more evil still – two times the original sin.

And yet...Stuart could not help but wonder – if in his hour of need, his most sincere prayer, the Lord would not open His heart and His doors to him now. He knew he had transgressed – unwillingly, unknowingly, but transgressed all the same, become something inhuman, monstrous, trailing the sickly line between human and divine, a line only Jesus Christ was meant to straddle – he had learned all this in church. When he had been allowed to enter church.

Stuart thought of Father Botticelli, the only vampire ever to be allowed to enter a church – for he had been a priest when he was turned, and thus his soul had already been promised to God. He felt envy added to his litany of other sins.

Stuart stopped at the doors of the church. Closing his eyes tightly, he pressed at the doors. They swung open at his touch.

He stared at the empty threshold for a while, praying, willing, begging something divine to let him through.

Father, please.

As soon as he took a step he knew it was fruitless. He felt the awesome power of something beyond him rock him, shake his bones into an agonizing chaos, and then throw him backwards into the dirt, an electric current running through his dead veins.

No, even now – even with his sacrifice – he was a dead thing, an unholy thing, fit only to be banished. It would not stop him – Stuart would not let it stop him.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been seven hundred years since my last confession.

He rushed at the door, feeling its punishment come upon him once more.

There was no use. It was too late. Seven hundred years too late.

He finished his prayer in silence and walked onwards.

If Kalina had loved him, if her Life’s Blood had allowed him to be human, he would have been able to enter a church again. He would be able to receive communion – to pray – above all things to confess and be forgiven, his soul clean and worthy of heaven. And then he realized perhaps death was the greatest gift Jaegar could give him. If he could no longer be a human, then he wished no longer to be a vampire. And if protecting Kalina – not because he loved her, as a man loves a woman, but only because he loved her as Christ had taught him to love all men, was the last thing he did, he might perhaps have ended his life with something worthwhile – something real.

Something human.

No, Jaegar could not turn Kalina into a true vampire - Stuart could not allow him. He prayed again that these twenty-four hours would be enough time.

The first thing that struck Stuart as he entered the Winery was the silence. Everything was quiet – an enormous, overhanging quiet that stifled the air out of the room. For a moment, Stuart stopped in panic. Had it been a trick – to take Stuart away from Kalina, leaving her exposed so that Jaegar could go after her on his own? Stuart shuddered. No, he thought – Jaegar could easily best Stuart – in front of Kalina , if need be. There was no reason to go through all this trouble. And besides, Jaegar would have relished the planned execution of his brother.

He heard a whistling whirl shudder throughout the room. Stuart rounded to find Jaegar sitting calmly in Gerard's old armchair. He looked content, peaceful, businesslike, as their father had, as if he ought to be smoking a cigar or chewing on a pipe.

“Jaegar...” Stuart growled.

“Hello, dear brother.”

It was the first time Stuart had seen Jaegar since he had been turned by Mal. Stuart could see the differences, subtle though they were. Jaegar's eyes were colder and harsher, now, glinting with evil. He had the same beauty, of course – the same marble loveliness that had drawn all the attention away from Stuart and towards his more seductive brother – but now evil was more palpable than ever.

“I always knew,” said Stuart softly. “That this is what you really were.”

“Tut tut, Stuart!” Jaegar pretended to be offended. “Aren't Christians supposed to forgive? Oh, wait – I forgot – you're not really a Christian, are you? I rather say you've been...excommunicated!” He laughed a great and hollow laugh; Stuart shivered.

“I have come, said Stuart.

“Sit, brother.” Jaegar motioned to another chair; Stuart felt his knees buckle under him as a chair sped like lightning under his legs, prompted by Jaegar's telepathy.

“See what I can do!” Jaegar smiled. “Exciting, isn't it? Remember when you and I used to try out new powers, Stuart? When we were first vampires? Those were good days.”

Those were days without the pain, without the guilt – the newborn days of vampires. Stuart remembered them as both the blackest and the happiest days of his life. He had never been crueler; he had never been less encumbered by guilt.

“It seems like only yesterday that Father sat there,” said Stuart. He could not look at his brother “And now what has happened to us?”

“Our father kept us in check, I suppose,” said Jaegar, looking out the window. “Ah, well – we were rowdy boys, weren't we?” His face darkened. “I always loved you, you know,” he said. “You were always my brother. Despite your folly – your naiveté. You were my brother.”

Stuart sighed. “You were my brother,” he admitted.

“Perhaps I cannot blame you, after all,” said Jaegar. “After all, we had only the same misfortune – to fall in love with the same beautiful woman.”

“Kalina...”

“Delicious – intoxicating Kalina.”

“Perhaps you are not to blame at all.”

For the first time since Jaegar's visit the night before, Stuart began to feel a twinge of relief. Had Kalina been right – had Jaegar's initial humanity shown through; had her love been able to conquer the effects of her blood?

“Then again, perhaps you are.”

In a flash Jaegar was on top of Stuart, lashing out like a snake snapping at its prey. Stuart gave a loud cry as he rolled to one side, parrying the attack.

“Well done, my boy,” said Jaegar. “Not such a fool after all.”

Stuart responded with a blow upon the face.

He always knew how it would end. Even with his punches, his blows, his attempts to wield the chains of silver he had bought, he knew there was no hope for him. Jaegar was better, faster, stronger; he was high on Life’s Blood, and its evil coursed through him – a heart pumping for the first time in centuries.

Stuart was no match for him.

And then he was disarmed, pinned upon the ground, with his neck exposed and Jaegar's fangs – bared and enormous, coming ever closer to the scratches on his neck...

 

 

Chapter 14

 

Stuart closed his eyes, waiting for Jaegar's teeth to sink down into his neck, waiting for death, waiting for oblivion. For a moment that hung into eternity, this death did not come. And then he heard Jaegar's voice, high-pitched and cruel, break through the silence. “It doesn't have to end like this,” said Jaegar. “You are my brother, after all. There is another way...”

“What are you talking about,” Stuart spat out through gritted teeth.

“You could taste her too...” Jaegar laughed. “You could taste that sweet nectar you want so badly. You could have everything you ever wanted. You can be strong like me.”

“I will not side with you, brother!”

“You must...” Jaegar grinned. “You will. After all, you'll have to make the choice very – very soon...”

As he lowered his fangs, the room was disturbed by a loud crash.

“Kalina?” Stuart leaped up as Jaegar looked away, distracted. Kalina had overturned one of the tables to cause a distraction. She stood firmly before them, a stake clenched in her hand, staring straight ahead.

“Go on, then,” she said to Jaegar. “Come and get me – like a real vampire.”

“Well,” said Jaegar. His face had drained; she had surprised him. “This is getting interesting.”

Stuart closed his eyes and concentrated.

Kalina – what are you doing? I tried to give you a day to live – one day – I tried so hard to save you – why didn't you let me save you?

I'm sorry. Her telepathic voice was full of pain. I couldn't let anyone else die because of me – for me. I told Justin – Maeve – told them to get out of there, convinced them to leave...but I stay, tonight. And if I die...

His heart swelled at her bravery. With her lips pursed together and the look of fixed concentration on her face as she held up the stake, she reminded Stuart of one of the famous paintings that he had seen of Joan of Arc at battle – courageous, humble, strong.

********

 

 

Saying goodbye to Octavius had been the hardest thing Kalina had ever done. She had done her best to forget him since his instruction to her to do so – the realization of the impossibility of her love. And yet when she sent him her telepathic message, she found tears streaming down her cheeks, as she had imagined – just for a second but a second so glorious that her imagination seeped over into reality – that they could be together, that the situation could be otherwise.

She had seen Jaegar and Stuart fight so often, work out their sibling rivalry in a series of brawls and duels. But this time it was different. She had seen the murderous glint in Jaegar's eye – the fear mingled with resignation in Stuart's gaze. She knew Jaegar had struck to kill – and that he would not let up until one or the both of them are dead.

“Good,” said Jaegar. His voice was light and strange. “Perfect timing – she's here! Now we can begin the test.”

Stuart and Kalina started in unison. “What test?” they asked together.

“To see,” said Jaegar. “You seem to love this vampire – such a changeable woman, aren't you Kalina? Yet you seem to love me, too. Has that changed? Or has last night with Stuart made you forget all about me?” He grinned. “Tell me, which one of us Greystone Brothers make the better lover?”

In a flash he was on top of Kalina, her stake strewn across the room and her wrists throbbing under his tight grip. She might have been able to fight him off before, but now that he had been turned her own blood overpowered her.

“No...” Kalina whispered.

“Let's see if you really love Stuart as you say you do...”

Suddenly Kalina found herself thrown back against Gerard's old arm-chair.

“Don't move,” said Jaegar, and instantly Kalina felt compulsion bind her limbs together to the chair; she could not even scream. Her vocal cords too had seized up.

Then in another flash Jaegar had grabbed Stuart, and knocked him to his knees at Kalina's feet.

“What are you doing?” Stuart rounded on Jaegar, staring at him with brotherly hatred.

“I'm giving you a gift, brother,” said Stuart. “I'm offering you that which you have fantasized about for years and years – that delicious, savory drop...seize the day, vampire! Seize the night. Stop being so noble.”

“What are you talking about?” Stuart growled.

“Drink!” Jaegar laughed. “I want you to drink, little brother. An experiment! How fun! Let's see what happens. Maybe you'll become human – as you always wanted. Or maybe =- probably – you won't. You'll become like me.”

“I won't do it.” Stuart forced out each word as Jaegar's fingers encircled his neck. “I won't let it happen.”

“Then how will you know?” Jaegar feigned sincerity. “If she really loves you? If she is worth giving up your life?”

“It's a biased test,” said Stuart. “It won't work. She's not giving her blood freely. Like with you – that wasn't a test either.”

“It was a test!” snapped Jaegar. “A test I am glad to say I failed.”

“No!” Kalina at last regained the strength to speak. “You were forced to drink my blood. And the blood from the vials was taken against my will – it wasn't the same thing at all! That blood was tainted – with anger and fear, Jaegar, with pain! If you had drunk from me directly first....maybe you would have become human again.”

She caught Stuart's eye and knew this was the only hope – distracting Jaegar, convincing him, wheedling him away from the evil that had so caught his brain.

Jaegar had stopped short. For a moment something like regret appeared on his face. “Never mind,” he said. “Why would I want to become human – when I now have all the human qualities I desire – daywalking for instance – but I can still remain a vampire if I wish it?”

“Because it means you can be with Kalina,” Stuart said quietly. “Jaegar, please – I know you loved her! I know you once loved her so much that you were willing to become human, to grow old with her, to have a life with her. It is what we all wanted, Jaegar. It is what I wanted...”

Jaegar turned his face away. Kalina's heart jumped within her – was there hope in Jaegar after all?

But before Kalina could finish her thought, Jaegar was upon her again. He had an iron grip on the back of Stuart's neck with one hand and his other hand wrapped in Kalina's hair, pulling it backwards, exposing her neck. He pushed Stuart closer and closer, using his nails to make a tiny cut in Kalina's neck.

Kalina could see Stuart inhale sharply the intoxicating element of the blood.

“Look at that beautiful neck, little brother,” said Jaegar, pushing Stuart's head ever closer. “And that magnificent pulse. I daresay I always thought – and still think, even with my heightened senses – that Kalina has one of the most lovely necks I have ever seen.” He trailed it slowly with his gaze.

Kalina could sense the hunger in Stuart's eyes; he squeezed them shut and she could still hear his desire.

No no I won't I won't do it smells so good no like violets no no I won't I want want it. Want. Want it want her – no! - want...

“No!” shouted Kalina, forcing herself and her limbs free of her compulsion. But Jaegar's grip was too strong. “I won't give you my blood like this, Stuart. It isn't a true test. You're not giving Life’s Blood a chance. You're forcing us into this – you're forcing him to become like you, like Mal! Jaegar, please!”

But Jaegar remained cool and implacable. “But I've always wanted him to turn into me, my darling,” said Jaegar. “I've always wanted that – since we were little. That's what caused such strife between us two brothers. He was nothing like me. But now we can be as twins.”

“I will never be like you!” Stuart shouted. “Seven hundred years – and I have done everything in my power to be nothing like you.”

“At least I'm giving you a chance,” said Jaegar. “A chance to be human with your love. Just to see – although I'll kill you anytime. And that will drive you mad, my dear brother. Knowing that you had a chance with her – and you still failed. That I'll get her in the end anyway.”

“Stop it!” Kalina cried. “I loved you, Jaegar. I loved you so much I would have given you my blood – you would have been made human. I thought I loved Octavius, but every time I’m near you, I can’t help wanting you, needing you. You said yourself our chemistry is explosive. You’re the one my blood cries out for. I just didn’t realize it.”

Jaegar froze. A look of longing – fleeting and ephemeral – passed over his face.

“But you've destroyed that love, Jaegar. Destroyed it with your cruelty. I care for you still. I care for your brother. Enough with the torturing – the killing – the death the pain. It stops here, Jaegar. It stops with me. End it – for all our sakes.”

For a moment, Jaegar's eyes had misted over with pain, but then the pain was gone, and Kalina could see only cruelty there.

“Drink,” Jaegar whispered again, forcing Stuart's lips into the wound he had made. “Drink.”

Want want no do not want want want...

The madness in Stuart's mind began to drown out everything else, until Kalina could hear nothing but his desire.

 

Chapter 15

 

Kalina closed her eyes, waiting for that familiar feeling – at once intoxicating and terrifying – of Stuart's teeth sinking low into her neck. Not two days earlier she had felt Jaegar  – felt its horror mingled with the desire it had inadvertently awakened in her, and her feelings were no different now. As her heart began to quicken and then slow in terror, she felt her breath turn shallow; her body was tensed to receive the penetrating force of his kiss.

Compulsion began coming over her – both Stuart's and Jaegar's – and she could taste Stuart's own compulsion – for Jaegar had hypnotized him – on the tip of her tongue. No, she whispered to herself. No – I can't...

She wanted to live! To live! This was Life’s Blood – after all – the blood of life, and life coursed through her, and she could not give it up. She could not give it up – give up her own life, and along with it Stuart's, Jaegar's, all those who relied on her for some hope of salvation from their vampiric fate. She wouldn't allow it.

Something like adrenaline rushed through her; it took her over. She felt at once that she were riding a stallion – a wild horse swift and uncontrolled – bucking over savage terrain, taking her with it, a passenger upon her own fury. She did not think; she could not think. Something monstrous and unknown reared up in her blood and trampled her veins and her thoughts into nothingness.

Suddenly she stood, casting off Stuart as lightly as she would a feather upon her lap. And then she was facing Jaegar. Her hands found his chest and then she pushed hard.

He flew from the force of her blow, falling backwards across the room, slamming with a heavy thud into the wall.

For a moment there was silence. Stuart and Jaegar both turned to her, expressions of shock upon their faces. And Kalina saw her face too reflected in theirs, a mirror of her own confusion. What had happened to her? What had she done?

“What?” Stuart whispered, softly. She could see that compulsion had left his gaze; he was sane now – his kind, blue eyes staring out at her with their customary softness. Jaegar was nursing his wounds against the wall – he bled where she had hit him, and from where he had scratched against the wall. His cuts began to heal one by one, but he remained savagely still, staring at her.

“What have you done?” Jaegar asked.

“The blood...” Stuart whispered.

The Life Blood? Kalina rounded about, gaining time to grab her stake. Was this what had made her so strong? Was this what made her whole line so strong, the Life Blood that pulsed through her, had pulsed through Carriers like Tess and Johanna, a whole line of girls descended from that first union between human and vampire – some strange thing, not human, not vampire, something in between.

“The blood...” Stuart whispered again.

And then it hit her. Life’s Blood could turn Stuart human. It could turn Jaegar human. It was the blood of Life – not of this – this death, destruction, violence. It wasn't her blood that did this.

It was her.

A vampire made human. Kalina's heart began to beat faster. Was that what she was deep down? A vampire turned by true love – the love of a mother for her child, of a wife for her husband – into a human? Mortal – able to breathe, to possess a heartbeat – and yet so very strong, so very dangerous like a vampire?

Kalina felt the blood-knowledge course through her, and then she knew it completely, with a surety that had been buried within her veins for years.

She was a vampire.

The Life’s Blood wasn't what made her strong. It was only what made her human. She was the daughter of vampires who turned human.

“Stand back,” she said, staring Jaegar down. “And don't you dare move.”

He hung back warily, waiting to see what she would do next. Even now, at the height of his cruelty, he was still beautiful – that impossible beauty that had fell her the first day they met, that had led her into such constant confusion, that had led her into such heated desire...

“What did you do?” Jaegar asked. “You can...” His moment of weakness faded, and his high, cold laugh returned. He arched an eyebrow, his manner turning as cold and cruel as steel. “Not just content to sleep with vampires, are you? Now you have to be as strong as a vampire.”

The insult stung; he of all people knew her confusion, her pain, her indecision when it came to Octavius and the Greystone Brothers.

“I am a vampire,” said Kalina. “Part vampire. A vampire made human.” She had, for a moment, a brief and terrifying moment, overcome the effects of Life’s Blood in her. And so she knew – with a glimmer of hope so faint it barely registered at all – that perhaps Jaegar could too. “A vampire held back by Life’s Blood. Until I overcame it – used my powers...” She had to think quickly – what would work? She had almost convinced Jaegar before. She shot Stuart a look – half-apologetic, half-warning. She knew what she had to do. “And so can you.”

“Overcome the Life’s Blood?” Jaegar scoffed. “Why would I want to?”

She knew what she would have to do was risky; there was no choice.

“Because you loved me, once,” she said softly. “Because you loved me so much – and I loved you.” She took a step closer to him, feeling Stuart's eyes settle upon her, feeling his pain even as she knew there was no alternative to save the both of them. After last night with Stuart, after what she had begun to feel for him, she knew doing this would hurt him more than anything – her cruelty bringing out the worst of his fears and sibling rivalry. But there was no other way. She could hear his pain pounding in her ears, although she knew he knew what she was doing.

She took hold of Jaegar's shoulder, trying to practice compulsion the way he had practiced it so often on her. “Didn't you love me, Jaegar?” She whispered into his ear, his neck, his shoulders. “Once?” She pressed him lightly up against the wall, feeling him sink into the rough stones. She placed her lips against his and began kissing him, transmitting all her pain, her love, her anger into him. “Remember when I found you in the vineyards, Jaegar? That time that you realized that you loved me.” She kissed him again. Was this what a vampire did, to create compulsion? Lying – with the truth buried deep inside like a hidden gem. “That you'd protect me?” She tried to show longing in her eyes, a longing she felt but didn't dare express – he recognized the danger and she did too. She ran her fingers up and down the smooth marble length of his face.

“I came back here for you, Jaegar,” she said. “I'm here for you, Jaegar. Fighting for you. TO save you. I can't give up on you. Not when I know the real Jaegar is within you somewhere – deep inside you. I can't give up on you, Jaegar. After all, you never gave up on me. You still haven’t given up. You do still want me, do you?”

The real Jaegar had to be there, deep inside this cruel facade he was putting on. Jaegar remained stoic and still against her touch – was his silence evidence for a struggle? “All those things you said to me – in the past few days. You didn't mean them, did you?” Her voice was wheedling, calm, consoling. “I know you didn't mean them. You couldn't have. Not the Jaegar I know.” She brushed her fingers over his eyelids; they fluttered closed. “Not the Jaegar I love.”

She heard Stuart gasp. She knew he knew what she was doing; it didn't make it any easier. “I know the real Jaegar. You've let me see him – vampire or no vampire. You've let me touch him. You've let me love him, deep in his heart, where there is still love, still humanity, still pain.” She let her fingers trace down to his chest, his silent chest. “That is why you love me.” She kissed him again, and then withdrew, staring him in the face, straight on.

“If you turn me, Jaegar, I promise – you'll lose that in me. You'll lose me forever – more finally than if you killed me. I won't be the woman you love anymore. And then you'll never be human.” She took a deep breath. It was now or never. “If you love me, Jaegar, let me go. Forget about me.”

She could feel Jaegar's fist clench beneath her. His face was a mask of pain and conflict. This was not mere compulsion. She had struck through to the very core of his soul. Instinctively – with a power that seemed to go beyond his will, he reached out a hand and stroked her face. Like the old Jaegar would have done. The good Jaegar.

“Kalina,” he whispered. “I, I...” His voice trailed off. He swallowed hard. “I can't...”

He turned to Stuart, forcing the words out. “Take her out of here!” His voice was brusque and hard, but it was not anger she heard. “Before I...” He couldn't finish his sentence; he contorted with the full force of his agony. “Hurry.”

Jaegar's fangs shot out once more from his face – cruelty taking over again.

But he had given them time. Stuart was around her now, holding her tightly, grabbing her with the full force of his love, spiriting her away into the darkness, far away from Jaegar, as fast as he could.

 

 

Chapter 16

 

As Stuart carried her through the cloudless night Kalina found that she could not move. She was stunned – shaking even as her body remained rigid, still. Stuart's arms, clasped closely and tightly around her, were not enough to make her forget even for an instant the sight of Jaegar's face as it contorted before her, the features trying independently of their own to align themselves with either evil or good. What had she expected, after all? Kalina flushed, glad that the night covered her shame from Stuart. Did she expect that her love would serve as a balm, magically turning Jaegar back into the witty, jocular boy she had once known? That the sadistic creature that had haunted her dreams would crumble and fall away, leaving the real Jaegar innocent and whole in his place? No, it wasn't so easy. Stuart had seen Jaegar's darkness even before the turning, and Jaegar was more complicated than that. It was what had most attracted her to him at first – this complication. Now, it filled her with shame. Her love had not been enough – or had it?

He had let her go. It had taken every effort in his body, but he had let her go. He had set her free – begged Stuart to take her away before he could attack her again. He had let Stuart live – his brother, whom he had sworn to kill. He had let Kalina live. Kalina sighed at last, the air escaping her body all at once in a fluid rush of icy-cold wind. She hadn't expected all three of them to leave the Wineries alive. It was a small mercy, she supposed. They were still in danger – they all were. But she had delayed the inevitable a little longer. Stuart was alive a little longer – and Jaegar...

Jaegar! Was there some hope for him after all? She had felt the soft touch of his fingertips on her skin, a touch that suggested love, truth, goodness. It had been so brief – that goodness had vanished. But it had still been there. Jaegar had overcome the influence of her blood, just like she had.

Just like she had. As she flew through the air, Kalina looked down at her body, her fingertips, her legs, her shoulders. Was this the body of a vampire? She flexed her toes and fingers. Was this what being a vampire felt like Could she have been one all along – and never noticed, never thought...

That was what Life’s Blood carriers were, after all. Vampires – or dhampirs, halflings – made human. Kalina thought. Did this mean she could do what she had seen Octavius do – fight hordes, protect herself truly, fend off the enemy? If an average vampire was made more powerful by Life’s Blood, could she not perhaps harness it – use it to her advantage?

She could hear Stuart's silence; his pain was palpable. She turned to him as they rushed over Rutherford. The houses looked so tiny in the distance – was this her old life? So small, so insignificant, in comparison to what had come before?

“Stuart...” she said softly.

“What is it?” He did not look back at her. She knew he was avoiding her gaze, refusing to confront what had happened in the house.

“Stuart, I'm sorry...”

“For what?” His voice was clipped. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I did what I thought would save him.” Her voice rose a notch higher. “Your brother.”

“You did what you could.” He still did not look at her.

“It was the only way I could think of – to get through to him. We share a blood bond. I could hear his thoughts, feel his feelings. He still has feelings for me.”

“I share a blood bond with him too,” said Stuart, a moment too quickly. They settled down by the side of the road with a thud. Kalina regained her balance and they continued walking. “And he loves you very much. I know it too.”

There was silence between them, passing like a shadow. At last Stuart broke it.

“He is trying to fight this,” he said. “To his credit – he is trying. He does not want to be cruel to you. But Life’s Blood...”

“Life' s Blood,” Kalina sighed.

“His love for you has become an obsession – as unquenchable as it is dangerous.”

“I know. And...believe me, I know that! I know the real Jaegar would never do something like that to me. If he weren't under the influence, I wouldn't stand for it. You know that. No girl would – or should! Not like that.”

She wondered if she weren't trying to convince herself, too. She felt the attraction to him even now – the memory of his former self – combined with an irresistible draw towards this new incarnation. She would never act on it – she knew as much – but there was something attractive about Jaegar's obsession with her, his madness – an intensity she had never before experienced. It disgusted her and horrified her; she refused to acknowledge it!

It was only the Life’s Blood that made him cruel – it wasn't his fault. And thus it wasn't her fault, either, if she had felt a spark of electricity when she kissed him again.

“I will not lie to you, Kalina. It did hurt me – to watch. To watch the two of you...” Stuart looked down. “The intensity, it felt real.”

“It had to,” said Kalina. “I used my real sorrow, real love – not romantic, but something – to try to convey to him...to get through to him...”

“I understand,” said Stuart, but she could hear in his voice that understanding was an effort for him. “I know you did it for the right reasons.”

But did he feel it, instinctively? Kalina blushed again. “Even so,” she said, “I shouldn't be kissing him. I know I shouldn't.” She laughed softly to herself. “You're the most noble vampire I know, Stuart. And the kindest. And one of the most noble and kind people I know – I won't dare say you're one up on Justin, but you're awfully close...but I know how it looked to you.”

“You did the right thing,” said Stuart. “The brave thing. You tried to get him to listen to you. You told him to let you free – to move on. And that was the bravest thing you could have done. And his love for you was strong enough to let him give us both time.”

Her heart leaped in spite of herself. Kalina couldn't look at Stuart, couldn't admit that his words had brought up a secret happiness within her. He loved her – and his love was strong... He loved her, and she had said she loved him too! She sighed. Every time she thought she had made a decision, something else came to threaten her complacency. Perhaps that was a natural result of being around so many vampires.

Or of being a vampire.

Kalina turned to Stuart. She sighed. “Stuart,” she said, looking own. “I – I have something for you.” She had kept the ring he had given her – unable to bring herself to pawn it, to confront the reality, or even the possibility, of his imminent death. She dropped the ring into his palm. “I think you'll need this after all, huh?” she said, forcing out a smile. “And I'm so glad of that.” She could see the Life’s Blood, encapsulated within the ring, give his skin a special glow where it touched it.

“So,” said Stuart gravely. “After all that, I didn't even get a chance to thank you”

“Thank me?” Kalina should have laughed.  “For what?”

“For saving my life.” Stuart was not smiling. His expression was serious, even severe; his gaze pierced straight into Kalina's soul, and made her feel as if he could see her thoughts.

“For doing what I'm supposed to do, you mean,” said Kalina, trying to lighten the mood with a smile. “For standing up to Jaegar – for the people I care about?” She scoffed. “No, Stuart, don't thank me – please don't thank me. You shouldn't have had to risk your life at all. You shouldn't have had to be there for me in the first place. Whatever was happening with you and Jaegar.”

“Ah, yes, our feud,” said Stuart darkly. He dropped his gaze quickly.

“Your feud – your stupid feud!”

“It has been going on for centuries.”

“You think he killed your father.”

“I know he killed my father.” Stuart sighed. “Our father.”

“But are you sure?” Kalina cut in quickly.

“What do you mean? Of course I'm sure!” Stuart responded almost too quickly. “It must have been him – who else...who else could have....”

“But do you know for sure?”

Stuart conceded there was no proof. “He accuses me of having done it – the nerve.”

Kalina raised her voice softly. “Remember when Maeve was attacked,” she said. “Right after our first date? Remember that?”

“I remember,” said Stuart stiffly.

“I was so sure that it was Jaegar who had done it – he let me think it was. So sure. And then it turned out it wasn't Jaegar after all. It was some random bounty hunter come to get his hands on Life’s Blood – as it turns out. Remember that? I was wrong...”

“I don't see...”

“Maybe you were wrong, too!” Kalina pleaded. “Maybe he wasn't as bad as all that – before...before Mal turned him. And what if he's good – deep down, truly good? He broke through the Life’s Blood for a moment; perhaps that was enough time. Perhaps there is a chance for him after all, for Jaegar to turn back and to break the spell. If we work together -you and me and Jaegar together – we can fight it.”

Stuart stopped short. “What do you mean?” His voice rose higher. “What are you planning to do?”

Kalina said nothing.

“Kalina?”

“We can't leave him,” said Kalina. The moment she said it she felt there was no choice. “Not when he's broken through – he's made progress. We've seen it.” Her eyes shone with the power of her intensity. “There's hope. Stuart – listen – there's hope!”

 

Chapter 17

 

Kalina grabbed hold of Stuart. “Listen,” she said, tightening her grip on his arm. “We have to go back.” She sighed and shook her head. “We can't just leave him. Now that we know...the real Jaegar's in there somewhere. Deep down.”

It was charitable hope, but Kalina knew that she was feeling something else, something she didn't dare share with Stuart. His words had reawakened her old desires, her old loves, and as she spoke she felt that she saw the image of Jaegar as he was once before her: affable and kind, witty and charming, with that mischievous streak that at once had intrigued and infuriated her. He had fascinated her from the very beginning with his easy beauty and idle charm. When she thought she had lost him – she had mourned him deeply – mourned a love that had gone deep to her bones without her even realizing it. He represented for her all that was dangerous – all that was passionate. It had reflected her love for Octavius – in his inaccessibility and maturity that totality of which all of them: Stuart, Jaegar, and poor vanished Aaron, were only a part. She knew rationally that what she loved in the three brothers was the trace of Octavius within them; yet, now that she had resigned herself to losing Octavius and his love, promised him to move on to one of the brothers – a more sensible option – what she felt for Jaegar somehow felt more powerful, more real. Was he the true heir to Octavius’ blood – and therefore her heart? Certainly Octavius had thought so. He had infinite power and patience for Jaegar – he hadn't even killed him, despite Jaegar's disloyalty on the part of Life’s Blood. He had cared for Jaegar too deeply for that, with a paternal sensibility he had never shown truly to Stuart or to Aaron. In terms of the warrior hierarchy, Kalina knew, Jaegar was truly Octavius’ heir: strong, wild, passionate, bad but never evil.

Until now.

No, Kalina thought to herself. No – that couldn't be. She had seen Jaegar's soul when she had tried to convince him just now in the Winery, had felt the power of their electrifying kiss spider out through her veins. She couldn't feel what she were feeling: this love, this power, this passion, if it were in fact true after all that it was only evil that remained in that callous and beautiful shell that was Jaegar. There had to be the real Jaegar there, too.

She could not love evil, after all. And she loved him.

She turned to Stuart. “Please!”

His face was implacable, his pain and anger masked by his rational thought. “We cannot,” he said, and it was clear that the effort of these words choked him. “Not when you know how dangerous he is – he can be. He almost killed us both, Kalina. And in the one moment he was able to break free, he told you to go. So go. You told him to stop loving you, to forget you. SO let him stop. Let him go.”

Was that really what Kalina had wanted? She had wanted to live – but she felt suddenly, irrationally, that to die in Jaegar's heart was to die for good, so truly did his love sustain her. “That's the thing, Stuart,” said Kalina. Her voice felt hollow and empty. “I know that. I know all that. And I still want to go. It's stupid, it's stupid to go back, and yet with Jaegar it is the only thing I can do. I'm the only one who can get through to him, Stuart; what if I'm the only one who can get him through this? And what if I'm the only one who can save him? If anyone could do it – it would be me. I'm responsible for this. It's my blood within him – what if I can harness that blood? Control it! I got through to him before – and he showed himself. Our Jaegar. The person we both care about. And he let him go. I could feel it telepathically – how much he's fighting the control this blood has over him.”

“It's impossible!”

“It's not impossible, Stuart!” Kalina cried. “Listen to me – just listen, please! What happens if we don't go back? He'll stay bad, without our help, and he'll keep trying to track us down – and then he'll catch us, and kill us, and everybody that we know and love and care about with us. And when we're dead – guess what? He'll stay like this: evil, deranged, insane, forever.”

“Or he'll turn you into a vampire.” said Stuart. “And then you'll be with him – forever – forced to confront that evil every day of your soulless life. He won't stop. I've seen Jaegar when he's obsessed – and it was never as bad as this. He'll stop at nothing to get to you.”

“I know – but...” Kalina's voice trailed off. “It's Jaegar, Stuart. There's hope for him. Please.” She thought back to the Winery. If she had gotten through to him once – why couldn't she get through to him again? And whatever power she had unleashed back there – it would keep them safe, protected, strong. “Did you see what I did back there, Stuart? I was able to break through that compulsion. I was able to fight Jaegar back – physically as well as psychically, Whatever power I have with the Life’s Blood – I will use it. I can use it.”

“I know,” said Stuart. His face was cloudy with pain and uncertainty. “I know.” He gathered her into his arms, holding her tightly. She could feel his strong muscles press close around her, making her feel as she always did when she was around him: warm, safe, protected. She didn't want to let the feeling go.

He whispered his words into her neck. “You're something else, Kalina. Something extraordinary. Special. A human with the strength of a vampire – a girl with the heart and soul of a lion.”

She sighed. “I don't know why,” she said. “Or what it is. Why I am the way I am.”

He stroked her hair softly as she spoke. “When I was in Paris with Octavius, we went to the Bibliotheque Supernaturel to research my upbringing – to figure out who I was, where I came from. The myth about the Chinese scientist and his daughter – it was true. A vampire-turned-human mated with a human proper – and over time more vampires entered the line – it seemed every female carrier was destined to fall in love with one of those vampires. And that's who my parents are. Half-humans, half-vampires.”

“Octavius told you all this?”

“I found some papers in the library – from the orphanage where I was put up for adoption. A collection of record. And...it's funny, isn't it? Me and my crazy feelings for all you vampires. Maybe it's just my blood talking. The carrier seems to get stronger and stronger – the more vampires that enter the bloodline, I guess. That's why I'm attracted to vampires, maybe. Just the survival of the species – my natural desire to choose the most powerful mate possible to reproduce with.” She gave a bitter laugh. “Gross, isn't it? My ancestors fell in love with the strongest vampires they knew. And their blood got stronger over time. And that's why I'm so strong. That's probably what happened back there...I don’t know. There isn’t anyone around like me so I couldn’t ask. Generations upon generations of effort. That doctor in China, that ancestor of mine, who wanted to give humans the strength of vampires, in order to fight vampires, may have succeeded at last. Because I'm here now – and I can control Life’s Blood, rather than letting it control me.”

Stuart held her more closely.

“So am I a human in love with a vampire?” Kalina said. “Or am I a vampire that this blood allows to be – just barely – human? Am I in love with another species – or just looking for my own kind?”

Stuart turned away. His expression terrified her. It was not one of love – but for a moment it had become one of repulsion, one of fear.

“Stuart?” her voice began to tremble. “Stuart – what is it? What's wrong?”

He wriggled out of her grasp – jerking away a bit too quickly. What had happened? Had she frightened him – disgusted him? She let her face fall in shame. “What's wrong with me finding out who I am? Realizing it – my strength, my power...”

But Stuart's face remained downcast. At last he looked up with her, forcing his face into something like composure. “I am happy for you, Kalina. Truly I am happy for you.”

“But that’s not all is it?”

“I am happy for you,” Stuart repeated stiffly.

“But...?”

Stuart sighed. “But I am also worried. It is I imagine a boon to our cause for you to have vampire strength. But will you suffer too from the other...tendencies of a vampire. Will your having overriden your blood give you those same desires?”

“What?” Kalina was aghast. “No, of course...I mean, I don't think so. I've never wanted to drink anyone' s blood, if that's what you're asking. Just – I mean, your blood. And Octavius and Jaegar's. But that's different. It's vampire blood.”

“But you wanted it?”

“It tasted...I mean – of course I wanted it!”

“I see.” Stuart turned away.

“Do you think instead of human blood, I crave vampire blood? But Maeve drank your blood too, and it didn't make her a vampire?” Yet as Kalina thought back to the vigor and passion with which she had sucked the vampires' blood, she wasn't altogether sure she wasn't being disingenuous.

“I just – I just don't want you to lose your humanity,” said Stuart. “You can understand that much.”

“Right,” said Kalina, putting her hands on her hips. “Because that's what you love about me, isn't it?”

“Isn't what?”

“That I'm human.”

There was a long pause, a pause that filled Kalina with agony. “Yes,” said Stuart gravely. “I suppose it is.” He looked up at her. “I will not lie to you, Kalina. I despise my own vampire nature. All that I see as human in you – your life, your light, your passion – makes me love you, for it reminds me of a world I thought gone forever.” He began pacing swiftly. “If you are truly turned into a vampire – if you become a vampire like Jaegar – I don't know how...” he let his voice trail off. “I don't know how I'd feel.”

“I see,” said Kalina stiffly.

“It – it would change things.”

“But I'm not a full-fledged-vampire,” said Kalina, jerking away from him. “I'm not even sure I am a vampire. I mean, I don't know what I am. Vampire-turned human. Halfling. Something in between – something different. Humans - vampires – former vampires...”

“But your strength,” Stuart could not resist speaking. “It's vampire strength.”

The horror in his voice said it all.

Kalina felt anger overwhelm her, an anger mixed with pain and shame. “I can't help it,” said Kalina. “I didn't ask to be born such a freak!” Her voice had turned into a shout. “I don't know what I am, Stuart, but whatever it is – you'd better accept it. I can't change it. And you know what? I wouldn't if I want to. It's not my humanity you'd miss, Stuart, but yours.”

Tears of anger welled up in her eyes. “I'm going back to the vineyard.”

So, Jaegar was right all along. Stuart had only wanted her blood, her humanity, nothing more. His love for her was only a misplaced love for the life he had once lost. How could she have been so stupid?

She had never felt more like a vampire than she did right now.

Chapter 18

 

“Kalina, stop!” Stuart's voice echoed through the garden. “I'm sorry, really I am.” She could hear the sounds of footsteps coming towards her, but she refused to turn around. She couldn't bear to see his face. “I didn't mean all of that – really I didn't! I was just angry – frightened. Freaked out, even. To see you...knowing you'll have to go through what I went through.”

“Sure,” said Kalina under her breath. She kept walking straight ahead until at last Stuart caught up with her.

“I didn't mean it.”

“Yes, Stuart,” said Kalina. Her voice was clear and determined. “Yes, you did. You meant it more than you realize.”

“What are you talking about?” Stuart's eyes were wild with pain. He knew how deeply he had hurt her, and how much too he had given away of his secret fears and desires – desires he wouldn't admit even to himself. As Kalina regarded him her anger faded. She rather felt sorry for him. He wanted so badly to be human, to extricate himself from the agony of his vampire nature. He had never adjusted to becoming one – it always seemed that he was ill at ease in his own skin, as if the transformation of his body had not merely turned the bones to steel and the blood immortal, but also changed so substantially the nature of the body that it was no longer Stuart's at all; his eyes shone out prisoner from this cage Octavius had put him in.

It was a struggle for Stuart, she knew, and Kalina could not help but feel compassion for him. How could he not fall in love with her, she reasoned. For so long she had represented Stuart's last and best hope – that he might win her love, and in so doing free himself from the curse that had afflicted him for so long. Even as now her vampire nature filled Kalina with a sense of wonder and excitement – it filled Stuart with memories of what he hated most in the world: himself.

Kalina looked Stuart straight in the eyes. As she looked at him, she saw within his eyes the pain of over seven hundred years of killing – of senseless deaths and the fight for survival. The guilt of each man and woman he killed hung heavily upon his soul. He had spent the first part of his vampiric life unable to control his impulses – crazed enough to commit murder. After all, vampire wine had not yet been invented in those days – there had been no other choice. He had thought about killing himself – she could see this in his eyes – but he had been unable to do it.

She felt his pain – his whole life story – seep into her, overwhelming their telepathic connection.

There had been no choice for him. He could not enter a church – he could not pray to the cross that had meant so much to him. He could not confess his sins. To commit suicide was in the Catholic faith a sin – but so was murder – and for Stuart there had been no escape. To walk in the sunlight would be to go straight to Hell – or into a soulless nonexistence – a thought so terrifying even Stuart could not face it. He had been able to control his impulse to commit murder, and yet he could not confess his sins, purify himself for a world that, if it was to come at all, was a source of even greater terror for him.

“What would you do?” asked Kalina. “If you were human.”

“The first thing?” Stuart's eyes crinkled around the edges. “I would enter a church,” he said. “I would go to confession. I would recite the names and ages and stories of all those I had wronged, had killed. And I would seek pardon for each crime. And at last...my soul would be free...”

Kalina had considered herself a religious person – she and Justin had both been raised Catholic – but somehow the sheer force of Stuart's fervor struck her. This was a religiosity of the Medieval age – a surety in the power of redemption and the cross that seemed to no longer exist in the world of Rutherford, California.

“And then what?”

“Perhaps I would spend my life in prison for my crimes – though no jury would believe me sane enough to convict me. Perhaps I would marry...” (marry you, he did not say), “bear children, lead a happy life. And then I would receive the gift of a good death – and a good life – and a clean soul when I head to the hereafter.”

“Do you still believe in the hereafter?” Kalina asked.

“I do,” said Stuart. “There are things beyond the earth and the sky – why should there not be a God?”

The sky hung moonless and dark over them.

“If there is a God,” said Kalina, “why doesn't He interfere to stop vampires? To stop evil?”

Stuart took a few steps further. “Why doesn't He stop evil humans?” he asked. “Or wars – or plagues – or famines? Perhaps we vampires are just another blight upon a fallen world.”

They walked together in silence.

“Sometimes after my parents died,” said Kalina, “I used to wonder whether God existed – because he had let two such good people die – on a mission, no less! The church said they were martyrs, but I still found it hard...all this that's been going on with vampires makes it even harder to believe.”

“It makes my faith stronger,” said Stuart. “Knowing how much more there is to the world than mere humanity.”

“You'd think you guys would have all the answers,” said Kalina. “Around for so many years – you'd think you'd figure it all out.”

Octavius had always seemed so wise. Even now her heart cried out at the thought. Octavius!

“I think we have more time to get muddled,” said Stuart. “And that's all. But even in the agony of being a vampire – there are moments that give me hope, in faith. In my love for my father. In Aaron.”

They fell silent. Aaron's disappearance had weighed heavily on them both. Together they hoped and prayed that he was still alive – felt that surely, surely, if he died they would feel it telepathically, and knew Octavius was searching for him all over Europe – and yet they had not spoken of him often since his disappearance. It seemed to hurt too much. It was easier to shut it out of their minds.

“Do you think Aaron's...you know...”

“I hope so,” said Stuart. “You saw Jaegar, in your mind's eye, when he was turned. If something similar happened to Aaron, I feel sure we would know it. Besides, his nose is too strong to be addled by the madness of Life’s Blood – and certainly too valuable to be rendered useless through murder. No doubt Mal is keeping him alive and well until he can track down all the potential carriers he can.”

“Do you think others are out there?” asked Kalina. “Other carriers – my cousins – fourth cousins – sixth cousins – other members of this line of vampires?”

“I don't know,” said Stuart. “I feel sure there is nobody else quite like you in the world.” He took her hand. “Whether it is your blood than makes you so or not.”

“You can't help it,” said Kalina. “You're attracted to the blood. You all are. Even Octavius found the smell...”

But her voice trailed off. She couldn't stand to think of Octavius either. Every time his name crossed her lips she remembered again the beauty and poetry of those few weeks in Europe, and all else seemed so small to her, so distant; she could still smell the bougainvillea on the balcony in Rome – hear the music from the opera house in Paris....

He had been so strong, so sure. She felt her blood cry out to him, buoyed by the pain of her memories; suddenly, her body began shaking, as if the calling of her blood had attracted an equal and opposite response. 

Kalina.

She gasped as she heard the voice. It was that same soft familiar refrain – the sound of the beloved – that forced her heart up into her throat and cut off her breath; she could have swooned at the sound.

Octavius.

Was this a dream – or was it real? She had not expected to hear from him again after their final encounter – the way he had vanished after that, leaving nothing but the necklace behind.

Where are you?

She sent him a mental picture of her surroundings – the forest outside the outskirts of Rutherford.

I have come to fight Jaegar.

Octavius’ voice was slow and sure inside her head. He had never sounded more like a true warrior – sure and strong – than right now.

I cannot let you fight – nor can I send Stuart to his certain death. It would not be chivalrous. I am the strongest of you; I am the strongest vampire left alive on your side. I will fight – and I will win. I will kill Jaegar – though it pains me to do so – for nothing would pain me more than to lose you.

He did not allow his tone to vary, but she could nevertheless sense his love throbbing through his words. She felt shaken to the core. She had not expected to hear from him, and yet his presence flooded her brain, until she could not even see Stuart standing before her.

“What is it?” Stuart was asking, but he seemed to her to be oceans away.

You can't fight Jaegar....

I must. For you. He has been sending me telepathic challenges for days – I thought I could find Aaron first, have my men hold him off, but it is too late...I have come to fight him. He wants to eliminate me – to become the most powerful vampire in the Consortium. To have you. I will not allow him to do so...

Not alone. Kalina could picture him, walking slowly through the vineyards of Greystone Winery, approaching the big stone house where Jaegar was waiting for him.

I'm coming with you.

No, Kalina, you can't...

But she severed the telepathic link. She knew that nothing he could say or do would stop her. They belonged together, and now that she knew where he was, and that he was in danger, nothing would separate them.

And she could not let Jaegar kill Octavius. But she also could not let Octavius kill Jaegar. Not yet – not when there was still hope.

“Octavius messaged me,” she said to Stuart. “He's going to the winery. Jaegar has challenged him – he's gone to face him down: a battle to the death. We have to hurry – quickly! Before one or both of them is dead.”

She grabbed his hand. “Let's go,” she said.

“As you wish.” Stuart wrapped his arms around her and began launching into flight once more, as they sped back to the Winery – once more into the arms of danger.

 

 

Chapter 19

 

He was there when they arrived. Kalina's heart leaped instantly. She had heard Octavius' voice in her head, imagined his chiseled face and strong body so often in her fantasies that he had seemed real to her, but nothing was more intense than seeing him in the flesh. Her heart began to quicken in her chest, beating so loudly that she knew the other vampires would be able to hear it; her face was covered in a blush spreading out like a blooming rose from her lips. He looked like he always did – so handsome, so full of life and passion; that her breath caught in her throat. He was standing at one end of the vast living room; Jaegar stood before him, poised and ready to strike. But as Kalina entered, and Octavius turned to look at her, time seemed to slow to a halt, so that Kalina could spend hours meditating upon every aspect of his incredible beauty in the timeframe of a heartbeat. He was dressed impeccably – she smiled to herself as she thought of Octavius’ vanity; if this was to be his last day alive, he would at least go out in style. He wore black leather pants under a charcoal-colored dress-shirt; his jet-black hair had been pulled back off his face, showing his chiseled cheekbones. The light refracted off his silver stud earring, sending a glare into Kalina's eye.

She remembered how she had played with the earring in Rome – impishly nipping at it to distract him. He had been so beautiful then – he seemed even more beautiful now. As he turned to look at her, Kalina could see a brief flicker of love evident on his face – flitting across his stern expression for just a moment: time enough to give her hope. He loved her – she knew he loved her – and the surety of that fact obliterated all else. How she had missed him! Even now, the slow cool breeze carried his scent to her, intoxicating her. She wanted nothing more than to rush into his arms, to climb into his lap. She felt the very essence of her blood calling out to him, burning with a dark fire. She remembered his protestations – his portrayal of the impossibility of their love.

“Jaegar,” Octavius was saying slowly. “You will not harm Kalina. As your maker – I command you.”

Jaegar let out a high, cold laugh. “As my maker!” he shouted. “As my maker! Oh, you should know – you of all vampires, Octavius, should know how much your role as my maker means to me! I want to hurt her for your sake – to spite you! To drink her for your sake. I can feel your blood calling out to her – your blood in my veins. I can feel your desire for her within me; I feel that same desire, Octavius! And if you think I'm just going to let you have her, stand by and let you take that delicious nectar from me – well, Octavius, maker or not, you are mistaken!”

“You fool,” Octavius said, his voice dripping with contempt even as it concealed a raw layer of pain at the loss of his progeny. You can control this – if you could only find the strength in yourself! When I was your age, my powers had matured enough to allow me to control my emotions, my vampire lust! Your brother has managed to exercise such self-control – a strength you clearly do not understand! You laugh because he cannot fight like you can – but in his restraint he has proven himself a stronger vampire than you will ever be. His control is what makes him powerful, Jaegar; not this savage monster that reigns in you! The most powerful of vampires know how to control themselves.”

“Oh, well that's just unfair!” Jaegar gave a mocking smile as his voice was rich with irony. “Comparing me to Stuart! Bookish, shy, serene, weakling little Stuart!”

“And why shouldn't I?” Octavius smiled back, giving Jaegar a taste of his chilling calm. “He's been a vampire as long as you have, Jaegar. And yet his actions prove him to be far stronger than you. His treatment of Kalina only affirms that in my mind. Strong vampire men always treat women with the utmost respect, especially their chosen eternal love. Perhaps I chose the wrong heir – those many centuries ago. Perhaps I should have considered him my true successor.”

“How dare you!” shouted Jaegar. “Do you not see my strength?”

Octavius swiftly shifted tactics. “Remember, Jaegar,” he said slowly. “You were not entirely out of consideration – you have not lost this battle yet, though you swiftly will if you keep up this madness.”

“What are you talking about?” Jaegar scoffed.

“Kalina had not decided – had she? Which brother she would choose.” Kalina could see Octavius wince as he spoke – he had not entirely mastered his jealousy. “She still had hope for you – that you might become good after all. That was why she came back – because she sensed, perhaps, some inkling of a heart in you, some glimpse of humanity that is lost to the rest of us.”

Jaegar looked up, awestruck, at Kalina. “That just means I'll have to convince her harder!” said Jaegar, grinning and showing off his row of sharp teeth. “Maybe killing you will do the trick – convince her she's lost me for good!”

With that he leaped towards Octavius, his fangs poised to sink deep into his maker's flesh.

“No,” Kalina tried to cry, but the noise caught in her throat. Stuart placed a warning hand on her shoulder.

“Do not interfere,” he said softly. “Not yet – you may yet do more harm than good if you get between two vampires as intent on death as they.”

Though Octavius had far more experience than Jaegar – thousands of years that rendered to him infinitely more vampire strength, Jaegar was alive with Life’s Blood, intoxicated by its qualities – at once stronger and more full of confidence, of bravado and swagger. He laughed in the face of Octavius’ careful feints – rushing at him with pure liquid adrenaline shining in his eyes. He took risks – he left himself uncovered – breaking all the rules of vampire fighting even as the power of the blood allowed him to escape from Octavius’ learned technique unscathed.

“You've grown strong, my boy,” said Octavius, his voice thick with disappointment. “It is a pity that it was this terrible blood that gave you such strength!”

“Don't you dare lecture me, master!” Jaegar shouted. “It is I who am the strongest one now! You will call me master now!”

And then they were locked in combat again, in a brutal symbiosis that seemed to Kalina to have no beginning and no end – only blood, brutality, death. First Jaegar threw Octavius against a table, shattering it in two. Then Octavius responded quickly, brandishing the broken table legs as stakes, stabbing Jaegar in the shoulder – just enough to draw a torrent of black blood out of the wound. They were relatively evenly matched; they knew each other's moves – each other's ways – Octavius’ precise technique matched by Jaegar's brute and primal strength.

Kalina held her breath. The idea of Octavius dying was unthinkable to her, yet how could she bear to see Jaegar killed, now that she suspected there was some good in him, the possibility of redemption.

“Stop,” she whispered, “Both of you, please stop.” But her words had no meaning, so locked were they in the ferocity of their combat. Stuart brandished his stake and motioned for Kalina to get behind him – waiting, if necessary, to begin the fight anew. It was a fight Kalina never wanted to begin.

The fight continued on for some time. There were moments when it seemed, with a thickening dread in Kalina's heart, that Jaegar had won, but Octavius was able to use his centuries of training and find an acrobatic way out of Jaegar's death-grip. There were instances where it seemed Octavius’ fists were closed tightly about Jaegar's neck, but then he too would break free. Then at last, with horrible certainty, Kalina saw Jaegar throw Octavius to the ground and stand over him, his fangs poised for the final encounter, and she knew then that the battle had been won.

“No!” she cried out, and her voice mingled with Stuart's own cry of despair.

She rushed forward, brandishing her stake, forcing her body against Jaegar's, trying to harness that power she had used before at the Wineries.

It worked. A blinding flash lit the room, and Jaegar was thrown back against the wall, shaking the very foundation of the house.

“Kalina...” Octavius looked up at her, his eyes full of love and gratitude.

“Blood against blood,” Kalina muttered, her eyes fixed on Jaegar. “Now it's me you'll have to listen to.” But before she could take another step, she heard a familiar laugh from the doorway.

“Brother!”

It was Aaron – but not Aaron as she remembered him; impish and kind, silly but well-meaning. This was an older Aaron – more subdued. He was free – for a moment, Kalina felt the glorious sensation of hope – but then she saw Mal beside him. Aaron sauntered into the house.

The room went quiet. She knew the other vampires – even Jaegar – were all thinking what she was thinking. Had he been turned, like Jaegar, after all? Was this the real Aaron? She could hear Stuart's mental agony pounding in her ears from across the room.

“Come in,” Aaron said lightly to Mal, and the levity of the invitation was terrible. As he came closer, Kalina could see his eyes red with malice – this wasn't Aaron at all! His cherubic sweetness had been turned sour by evil; this was less Aaron than Jaegar was Jaegar, so completely did he seem to be consumed by the Life’s Blood.

A note of pain struck Kalina's heart. After all this – was this the end? She had mourned Aaron before, thought him dead before, but to lose him a second time seemed unthinkable to her. They had shared so much - he had helped her through her grief when her parents died, shared the sweetness of high school life with her in a way none of the other vampires could fathom – and now he had become a monster. She shuddered.

“Aaron,” she whispered, but she knew it was too late.

 

Chapter 20

 

“Well then, Kal,” said Aaron. His voice was steely and emotionless. “Looks like we decided to pay you a visit.” He scanned the room. “And you” he turned to Jaegar “and you” - he turned to Stuart - “Still going after my girl when I'm not around. Tut tut – bad form!”

Even in this new transformation, he still retained the dry sense of humor. But gone was the jovial innocence of the old Aaron; this was only a monster with the same face.

Octavius was standing beside her now, brandishing a stake in each hand, set to defend Kalina with his life if necessary. It was time to mentally force herself into defense mode. She had known fighting Jaegar would be difficult – hopped up as he was on Life’s Blood – but fighting Mal too would be impossible, especially if Aaron as well had ingested the blood. The even match had just been turned on its head.

“Aaron,” Stuart's voice cracked with pain. “You don't want to hurt Kalina. You don't want to hurt your brothers – your maker.” He stepped forward, trying with all his strength to reason with Aaron, to find his little brother in those cold, red eyes. “You're our family, Aaron. You're our little brother. Please. Remember the oath you made us swear, Aaron -to protect Kalina from harm? You swore it too – we all swore to it. Even Jaegar. Vampire's oath. The oath of the Greystone Brothers. The highest oath we could ever swear or think of swearing. Remember that. Even Jaegar remembers that.”

“Do I?” Jaegar shot them a cold grin, but Kalina could see the wariness in his eyes. Seeing Aaron so afflicted had gotten under his skin, bringing out a note of humanity in his eyes Kalina hadn't seen since before the Life’s Blood.

“Here we are!” Mal's voice sent waves of trauma through Kalina as she remembered the last time she had heard it – when she was being tortured in that dungeon beneath the Seine. “All the brothers here at last. And two of them on my side.”

“By force, not choice!” Stuart called out, his bravery clear on his face.

“That just leaves you.” Mal turned his gaze upon Stuart.

“How could you?” Kalina's voice shook. “He's just a boy!”

“I didn't.” Mal grinned. “I didn't need to force him. He drank that blood of his own free will. Once he got a nice whiff...he just down it. I didn't expect it – I wanted to keep his nose pure. But now that he's done it...”

“Aaron...” Kalina's throat had gone dry.

“He wanted to be big and strong. Like his brothers. Stronger than his brothers. He didn't want to kowtow to Octavius – to let Octavius dictate who got the girl. Looks like he never forgave you for chaining him up, Octavius! I guess loyalty only goes so far.”

“He was never in my steps!” said Octavius gravely. “He was never one of my soldiers. He was free – with the exception of that one mission – to do as he wished. I turned him only at his mother's request – I would never have done it otherwise. He was too young, too immature, to be made a vampire. I regret my decision to grant Marilee that favor.”

“Or you regret the competition.” Jaegar turned his gaze on Kalina; his face was filled with desire.

Kalina became acutely aware of all four vampires staring at her – their faces hot with desire for her…and longing. The sensation of her blood had become overwhelming; she felt, for the first time, like a particularly tender piece of meat – and for the first time was even afraid of Stuart and Octavius.

“Really!” Only Mal had remained free of this desire. “I've never seen a room of vampires so entranced by a woman!” He laughed. “Okay, maybe I have. There have been other Carriers, after all! And my Tess… Luckily I've drunk enough of them to get used to the smell. But the little bitches always go for the strongest. Natural selection, right? So – Kalina – which one of these brooding, handsome men makes you want to – ahem – reproduce?”

“How dare you!” Kalina shot back.

“Aaron wants to be the strongest, doesn't he? Does he make a good impression now?”

Kalina could have rolled her eyes! How stupid of Aaron – how indicative of his immaturity – that he would be the one to willingly succumb to the blood. She could sense that there was no hope for him now. Jaegar still retained his true nature, raging against the Life’s Blood, because it had been unwillingly inflicted upon him. But Aaron – that was different. He had welcomed it willingly. And so the Blood had overtaken him completely. “How could you, Aaron?” she said.

Aaron stood strong before her. “So I could be strong enough...to do this!” In a flash he had turned on Mal, punching straight though his chest.

Kalina's lips contorted in a grim smile. The upside of vampires going crazy, she supposed, was that they were willing to compete with each other. So, that was their weakness – at least she, Octavius, and Stuart made a united front.

But her smile vanished as Mal wrested himself away from Aaron. His wound began healing up instantly. “Really,” Mal said. “Trying to turn on a vampire centuries older than you are! How stupid of you...”

“No!” Stuart shouted, but there was no hope. The terror in Aaron's eyes made it clear what Mal was about to do. In a few agile steps Mal had gone over to Aaron, and took him firmly by the shoulders.

“How dare you defy me!” he growled. “Stupid boy...”

“Kalina!” Aaron was shouting – gasping - “Don’t be mad at me. I wanted to get stronger to fight Mal for you. I'll always, I'll always love...”

But Mal had already twisted his head, and with a loud crunch the bones broke, just as Mal thrust a stake into Aaron's heart.

Kalina’s mouth opened in shock. It happened so quickly, she could not believe it. She had seen a staking before, but none seemed as gruesome as Aaron's, as he aged rapidly – into the middle-aged, the old, the aged man he had never had a chance to be, until at last he was a desiccated corpse before them, a corpse that split apart almost instantly into ashes.

He was dead.

The room echoed with silence.

“No!” Stuart cried at last, rushing into the ashes, picking them up and letting them run through his fingers. “No!”

Kalina felt the pain as well – rocking through her, coursing over her. She tried to tell herself that Aaron was already gone, but it was no use. She felt tears come over her again, even as she blinked them away.

“Well, that makes your choice easier,” said Mal.

“No!” Octavius roared, as he rushed towards Mal. “No!” His fury had boiled over now – and now he was at Mal's throat, forcing him against the wall, towards the stone fireplace. For a moment, it looked as if Mal was cornered, and Kalina held her breath – her eyes squeezed shut, praying.

But in a flash, Mal's hand had inched for the fireplace poker, and no sooner did Octavius begin pressing his stake into Mal's flesh than Mal picked up the poker and ran it straight through Octavius.

For a moment Kalina's heart stopped and her world went black.

But the poker was steel, not wood, and Octavius thrust the poker from his body, his anger only further roused. But the blow had weakened him, and no sooner did he take a step than he collapsed at Mal's feet. Mal laughed, his red eyes narrowing as he prepared to take the final blow!

“No!” Kalina rushed between them, focusing all her strength as she thrust Mal off Octavius, shielding her lover's body with her own.

And then another body was there, guarding her, and as Kalina looked up the sight took her breath away. Jaegar was standing over her, protecting her from Mal's wrath, his stony face once more alive with light and courage, even as the pain of his brother's death was splayed out all over his face.

“What?” Mal looked briefly confused – only for an instant, but it was enough. Stuart had rushed towards him, thrusting his stake deep into Mal's back, piercing his heart.

“That's for my brother, you bastard!” he shouted.

Mal staggered backwards, falling against the fireplace. He pulled the stake out of his heart, letting it fall to the floor. Blood poured from the wound in bilious black barrages, but he did not turn to dust.

“How many times do you think I've been staked, eh?” he said. “I’ve had Life’s Blood in me for centuries. Not like weak Aaron, who only had it for an hour. And you – Jaegar – what are you doing...fool...” Blood dribbled from the corners of his mouth.

Stuart backed away slowly. Octavius had already healed from the poker, and was standing next to him, his body tensed and poised for battle.

Mal leaped at Kalina, grabbing hold of her wrists. She screamed instinctively, trying to summon the strength she had used twice before with Jaegar. But Jaegar had leaped forward, separating the two of them, and thrust Kalina towards Stuart.

“Get her out of here!” he shouted. In his hand was an antique sword – one Kalina had seen hanging upon the wall above the fireplace many times before, but had never seen used. Until now.

“Jaegar...” It was the Jaegar she knew and loved, free of the Life’s Blood. Her joy overpowered her.

“Go!” he shouted, as he brought the sword down upon Mal, slicing him cleanly through the torso until only a few shriveled ligaments held the body together.

“No!” hissed Mal, and before Kalina could scream she saw a stake pointing through Jaegar's back, thrust through his heart.

Jaegar moaned in agony – it must have just missed the heart – and Mal withdrew the stake, ready to strike again.

In an instant Kalina was between them, the stake caught in her hands mid-thrust. The three of them gasped in collective astonishment. Only a vampire could move that fast.

“So, it's true,” muttered Mal. “The Carrier has truly inherited the vampire's strength. At last. What a delicacy you must be...”

Before Kalina knew what had happened, her world was going white and dark at the same time. Mal's teeth were fast in her neck, biting down, until nothing made sense and she saw stars above her vision.

Stuart and Octavius had grabbed Mal, then, and had pushed him across the room, but not before Kalina caught sight of her own blood streaming across the floor, pouring from a severed artery in her neck.

She made a small sound, but collapsed back against Octavius. “Drink!” he shouted, tearing into his own flesh with astounding ferocity. “Drink!”

The blood nourished her, and within moments her strength had returned to her, as Stuart began binding Mal with silver chains.

“Hurry – they won't hold him long...” Stuart was shouting.

Kalina sat up. “Where's Jaegar? Is he okay?” She caught sight of a crumpled mass on the floor. “Jaegar!”

She rushed to him, reopening the wound Mal had just left.

“Kalina, are you sure?” Octavius stared at her.

“I know what I'm doing. He's broken through – it won't hurt him.”

She held him fast to her neck; as if in a haze, Jaegar began lapping at her blood, sucking it at first slowly and then more and more rapidly. Suddenly he stopped and pushed her away, violently.

“What's happening?”

He crawled across the floor, violently gagging. His whole body seemed to be changing. His face gained color; his eyes grew duller. For a moment Kalina was seized with terror. Had she misjudged the whole thing? Had she turned him once again?

But then he looked up.

And Kalina knew instantly that she was looking into the eyes of a human. Gone were his fangs – it was evident from his smile. Gone was his bloodlust. In its place was a look of pure love. She wasn't sure what it was yet – a love so strong it defied categorization. She had believed in him. Trusted him. Cared for him. And whatever it was – it was enough to save him.

Stuart was torn between joy and despair: joy for his brother, rage and envy that his brother was achieving the dream that he, Stuart, had always wanted. He was shaking.

“Kalina!” Jaegar rushed to Kalina, enveloping her in a hug, his eyes full of unshed tears.

“Get out of here!” Stuart was saying. “Those chains won't hold Mal much longer...” Mal was already struggling against the masses of silver. “Hurry!”

“Go!” Octavius too displayed his jealousy clear on his face, but he wasn't about to let it stop him from doing his duty.

“I can't leave you!”

“You can't leave him!” Stuart said. “He's human now – he's in danger here! You must protect him!”

Jaegar was looking about him, his eyes filled with the glorious vision of a world seen anew through human eyes – his expression dazed.

“I won't lose another brother,” Stuart said. “It's time for me to reach my full potential...” his words were fraught with meaning. “As a vampire. I must allow myself to be strong.”

“Don't let him kill you!” Kalina begged. “Flee, first, both of you!”

Stuart pressed her hand briefly to his lips, and then pushed her towards the door. “Leave, quickly.”

“I love you, too!” she protested, and even now she wasn't sure whether she was talking to Stuart or Octavius, or to both of them at the same time.

As Kalina and Jaegar exited the house, they heard the sound of Mal at last breaking free of his chains, and of Octavius and Stuart, fighting on...

They rushed together in the night – their hearts pounding, for the first time, together. Kalina could feel his wrist, his heart beating in time with hers – their breath panting together – their pulse alive for the first time with excitement, and joy.

And fear.

 

Epilogue

 

Time had glided by with silver wings. In the days that had passed between now and the time they had fled the Greystone Winery, Kalina felt that she were somehow participating in the discovery of a new life – Jaegar's. The transformation that had happened on the Winery floors had changed Jaegar entirely – more than Kalina could ever have imagined. He had not merely lost his fangs and pallor, but somehow his soul had seemed to change as well; it had flown straight back into his body, lighting up his face with a smile so radiant Kalina felt that it would blind her.

There had been some guilt, of course, in the beginning. Jaegar had thought back upon his actions, done during his crazed period under the influence of Life’s Blood, and he had come to her on the first morning with the air of a penitent – trying to explain what had happened, trying to rationalize it even to himself. She knew that even now he could not quite look her straight on in the eye – he had promised he would spend his life making it up to her.

A lifetime, Kalina had thought. A promise that meant eternity for a vampire. Did it mean more or less now, that his life was constrained by human measures?

They caught up with Justin and Maeve outside of Los Angeles. It had taken a not inconsiderable amount of explanation – including assuaging Maeve's very pronounced fears and talking a shocked Justin out of a catatonic state – but Kalina had managed to bring them up to speed, even as she proved to them the full extent of Jaegar's cure. They walked together in the sunlight – Jaegar bathing in the ecstasy of the rays upon his slowly reddening flesh – and Jaegar tore in deliriously into his first pizza – ever.

“Bet these weren't around when you were turned,” said Kalina, laughing.

“I've missed out on so much!” he exclaimed. But he still did not meet her eye.

They spent their days in Los Angeles on the beach, soaking up early summer. It was what Jaegar had most wanted to do – on the one hand, it meant more time in the sun for him, while on the other, he noticed that Maeve and Justin seemed more comfortable around him in the day, when they could be sure he was cured of his vampiric affliction.

But all was not sunny in Kalina's mind. Worry about Stuart and Octavius, who had not turned up since their flight, still clouded her mind. Neither had tried to contact her telepathically – yet she felt sure they could not be dead. She had felt an acute psychic pang when Aaron had been staked in front of her; she knew she would feel something similar, if not worse, were anything to happen to Octavius or Stuart. And yet why hadn't they contacted her?

Romantic issues, too, troubled Kalina's mind. What did it mean, she wondered, to have turned Jaegar human? It was the prophecy, wasn't it? That Jaegar was her true love – only true love could turn a vampire human. And yet she wasn't entirely sure what it was she felt for him. She cared for him, certainly, and was attracted to him – although out of caution they had done nothing more than kiss chastely on the cheek and hold hands since their escape – but no amount of Life’s Blood could make Kalina forget Octavius and the feelings she still had for him – so strong they overwhelmed her even now. If she had turned Jaegar human, why did her heart and mind, her very soul still call out to Octavius? And if she loved Octavius so much – would she be able to turn him, too? Was she really in love with Octavius then? Or did she imagined herself to be? She obviously loved Jaegar, but since becoming human and without his vampire ability to attract, that attraction of wanting to tear his clothes off as soon as he was near her, was not as strong. Was she only in love with him if he was a vampire?”

Her thoughts ran often to Stuart. She thought he loved her only because of her Life’s Blood, but he loved her more for her humanity. They had shared so much together, the fear of evil Jaegar coming after Kalina, the night of the Prom, and how Stuart had finally acted on his passion for her, leaving her wanting to experience more of this side of him...

She sighed and turned to Jaegar. They sat together on the beach, stretched out in the open air. Jaegar relished the sensation of the sun – not the weak and painful blistering of being outside under the influence of the ring – almost as much as he relished eating human food. Maeve and Justin had gone out on the third sandwich run of the day, mostly for Jaegar's benefit.

“I don't have automatic muscle regeneration now,” Jaegar laughed. “I'll get fat!”

But his muscles were as tight as ever – if they had lost their superhuman sheen. He had his shirt off, and she could see his rippling abs against his perfect chest. He was still gorgeous beyond any human she knew. He looked up, seeing Kalina’s gaze on him. He moved closer, enveloped her with his arms, and pulled her to his chest, where he stroked her hair and cheeks, his fingers warm against her skin. He kissed the top of her head. “Turning human hasn’t diminished my love for you at all. In fact, I love you more than ever, Kalina. I see you for the beautiful, strong and…” he growled, “outright sexy woman that you are.” He kissed her on her lips, “How did I get so lucky to have you choose me?”

His fingers entwined with hers as he murmured into her hair sweet words of love and held her tightly. She smiled, so happy the old Jaegar she loved was back. The ocean lapped at the sand and they both gazed out at the horizon. Jaegar leaned in to kiss Kalina…

Suddenly, a dark shadow flitted across the sand – so quickly that a blink of an eye erased the image. Kalina sprang up, immediately – her vampire instinct taking over. She sniffed the air, conscious of the subtle hint of blood – vampire blood.

She felt a hunting instinct rise up from within her – the desire to chase this unknown shadow – and before she knew it she was running at superhuman speed, faster than the human eye could catch, across the beach.

And then she realized that Jaegar was running too.

They both stopped short in surprise.

“What – what was that?” Kalina shuddered.

“I...don't know.” Jaegar looked down. He had turned human – he wasn't supposed to have any vampire abilities. “I thought I lost all my abilities.”

“I don't know either.” Kalina hid her gaze. “I mean – it sort of worked...right? You don't have cravings anymore, do you?”

“No!” cried Jaegar indignantly. “Of course not! Only...”

“Only what?”

“It didn't work. Fully. The Life’s Blood didn't work fully.” Which means you didn’t love me enough, either.

Kalina could still hear his thoughts – or thought she could.

“Look, Jaegar, you know how I feel...I care about...”

“All of us, yes,” said Jaegar, his face torn. “I know. You care about us all.”

“Even Aaron.”

“Right.” Jaegar turned away.

Their conversation was interrupted by that same vampire smell – the return of the shadow. It slowed to a walking pace and then Kalina could make out the face with a leap of her heart: Octavius!

He looked battle-worn, but even in his weariness he was beautiful; his exhaustion had not stopped him from dressing, as ever, with impeccable style. Kalina felt her blood once more calling out to him, turning her cheeks hot with embarrassment. She went to him, embracing him lightly – but didn't dare to do more in front of Jaegar.

“What news?” said Jaegar, a little too curtly.

“Thank God you're alright,” said Kalina. “I was so worried...”

“I'm afraid I have some bad news.” Octavius gave a stiff cough.

“Stuart!” Jaegar and Kalina cried in unison.

“Mal...is stronger that we'd hoped,” said Octavius. “We fought in that house for two days and two nights – every time we thought we'd subdued him, he broke free of his silver. We took turns standing guard over him in the last – but he got to Stuart when he was most weary. He wanted to spite Stuart – to spite me and what I stand for, what Stuart stood for – the Consortium and peace. He...he force-fed Stuart some of the Life’s Blood.”

“What?” The color had drained from Kalina's face.

“His control over Stuart – it is final.”

Jaegar's earlier anger had vanished, replaced with pain. “I remember turning,” Jaegar said slowly. “It was the most horrible feeling in the world. It twists your mind. Whatever – whomever you love becomes your enemy. You cannot even reason with yourself – reason stops existing.”

“It will be worse for Stuart,” said Octavius. “He has always denied himself – as a vampire – to an unhealthy extent. He has not fed his bloodlust properly in centuries. And all that rage – pent up inside him for so long – like a coiled spring...”

Kalina remembered what Stuart had told her, once. That his goodness only made him ten times as dark as Jaegar – in the innermost chambers of his subconscious. That it made him all the more dangerous. She hadn't understood what he meant then. She was understanding better now.

“You saw what he was like when he saw Jaegar made human,” said Octavius. “He was devastated. All that anger, all that pain – I fear for what will happen now that it will be unleashed.” He turned to Kalina. “You are not safe. You have vampire strength – but without Aaron and Stuart – and with Jaegar weakened, only I can guard you...”

“Jaegar – he still has his powers!” Kalina blurted out.

“What?” Octavius furrowed his brows.

“He's turned – but his powers remain.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded mutely. “I guess it didn't work all the way – or something.”

A note of hope in Octavius’ eyes vanished quickly as he focused on more pressing matters. He gave a hollow laugh. “How incredible,” he said softly. “You are extraordinary – whatever you are. But even so – we must get you out of the country, immediately.”

Out of the country. To Europe – Europe! With Octavius – to freedom, to safety, to the man she loved.

For a while. Until Mal found them – or Stuart – until things started to go wrong, until Maeve and Justin were once more in danger. Kalina sighed. It was impossible.

“No,” said Kalina. “No.” It was now or never. “I'm tired of running. Of being protected. I want to go back to Rutherford. I want to finish school, and go to Yale in the fall. I want to protect Justin and Maeve – and protect you. Whatever's back there – whoever's back there – Stuart, Mal - I'll face them.” She took a deep breath, sadden by the thought, especially remembering how Stuart had stood by her, protected her, and faced Jaegar knowing how it would be his sure death, just so Kalina could live another day. Stuart had turned, and she remembered how he once said he would rather stake himself, die, than turn into a monster like Mal. The Greystone Brothers had given so much for her, Aaron… his life, now Stuart. Stuart had told her turning was far worse than death. Her heart ached for him, yet she knew Stuart would be affected worse than Jaegar. She had to do something. She was the Carrier, and with that, came powers…powers she was just beginning to realize. Kalina looked straight ahead. She knew what she had to do. “I have to find Stuart.”

 

********

PULSE continues in

Blue Blood - Book 4 of PULSE

 

Blue Blood

(Book 4 of PULSE)

 

Coming

 

March 8, 2011

 

 

 

Join us for the virtual release party on March 8, 2011 at: http://www.kailingow.wordpress.com

 

 

 

Excerpt from

the phantom diaries

 

 

kailin gow

 

Prologue

 

Annette Binoche stepped out of the cab and had her first taste of a Manhattan sidewalk beneath her feet. Staring up at The New York Metropolitan Opera House, a cool breeze rustled through her long dark hair and tickled her nostrils.  This was not the hot and lazy breeze of the bayou back home in New Orleans. It felt different. Smelled different. Even tasted different.

Despite her jeans, warm black sweater and leather jacket the chill in the air squeezed through the collar at the back of her neck, traveled down her spine and left her skin tingling all the way down into her boots.

The excitement of this new adventure added to that tingling sensation. She pushed through the doors of the back entrance of the Opera House and went in search of the head seamstress. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she glimpse the grand stage through a door left ajar.

Her desire to find the seamstress was overtaken with the need to view the splendid stage she’d long dreamed of. The silly childhood fantasy of singing to a full house had her heart pumping with envy. It was majestic and unending.  The ceiling seemed to go on forever and she couldn’t even see to the back seat of the top balconies.

“Can I help you?”

With a start she turned to the unexpected voice and faced a small elderly gentleman who smiled politely.

“I’m looking for Mrs. Henley. She came down to Louisiana a while back to visit with my mom and liked my abilities as a seamstress and suggested I come up here to work for her.”

The old man’s smile broadened and Annette realized she was rambling, but just couldn’t stop. “I may be only eighteen, but I’ve worked at my mother’s dress shop since I was thirteen and my mother has been a great teacher and even though I lack formal training, I know I can do this…”

“Right through there,” he said as he pointed to his left. “Up the stairs, second floor, third door on your right.  She should just be getting back from her lunch.”

With a tight and nervous nod, she turned on her heel, repeating his directions in her mind over and over again.

Her heels echoed up the steps and the cool chill at her back followed her. She turned to glance behind her and could have sworn her breath frosted in the air. The echo of her steps reverberated in an odd cadence that didn’t quite match the pace of her steps. 

Though her body shivered, her hands were clammy and heated. Her fingers reached for the cross hung at her neck. Her index played repeatedly over the rubies that formed a rose pattern at the center of the cross. Her breathing soon returned to normal and she proceeded while remaining cautious and aware of the sensations around her.

“Mrs. Henley?” Annette asked upon reaching the correct door.

A pleasantly plump woman turned and grinned.  “Miss Binoche? Is that you?”

Annette realized her frumpy seamstress clothes back home were a far stretch from her fashionable, meant to impress New York attire.  She’d gone out of her way to assure her clothes didn’t make her stick out like a tourist.

“Don’t really understand why a pretty girl like you wants to come and stick your fingers with pins and needles, but I’m sure happy to have you.”

“I’m happy to see you again, Mrs. Henley, and I look forward to doing my best work for you.” Annette gave her a warm hug and kissed her cheek. “Mother says hello and wants to thank you once again for being so gracious as to allow me this opportunity. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Mrs. Henley waved the compliments and pleasant words aside. “Nonsense, I need a good hard working girl that has the imagination as well as the work ethic you have.  I have one girl who left to get married and three who dumped me once the school year resumed.”

Annette smiled and nodded, pleased to be given such praise and responsibility.

“You’re not going to go off and get married, are you?”

“Heaven’s no.”

“And you’re not going on to college, right?”

At this, Annette hesitated. She had once dreamed of attending a performance art school. Finances had not really allowed such a dream for now, but this was no doubt a step in the right direction. “Not for quite a while, if at all.”

“You know with all that pretty dark hair and soft innocent eyes, New York will eat you up. Just let me know if any of the young men here give you a hard time. Oh, and watch out for Marie, our house diva. She can get a little testy when she’s not the prettiest thing in a room.”