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Life’s Blood
PULSE 2
Book 2
kailin gow
PRAISE FOR PULSE
I devoured this book. From the moment I received the review copy in the mail, I couldn't put it down until I was finished. Mystery and romance clouded the beginning. The vampire hunks are more than sexy, they're complex. No wonder Kalina can't choose between them. I can see Kalina as a real teenager on the brink of adulthood. Her grief for Aaron's death felt real. Then her elation in finding Stuart, someone close to Aaron, who reminded her of Aaron, felt real. Her discovery of who she is felt real. Some of the situation was comical, especially sensitive topics (Kalina trying to deal with her hormones) was handled with a sense of humor. The ending is wonderful and I would not have guessed it. Again, Ms. Gow has shown an understanding of teenage girls and some of the issues they deal with in growing up. Boys, love, sex, school, friendships, family - she covers it all. It says in my copy PULSE is Book 1 of 5. I can't wait to read the entire series.
Naya's Girls Night Out Book Picks
I love this book. From the beginning, you are drawn in by the imagery and the emotions, the sense of longing in the characters as they meet. Right away, there is mystery and romance. The book begins in the rain as a vampire watches Kalina run from her car to the library. There is something very romantic yet primal about Kalina's first meeting with Jaegar, her dead ex-boyfriend's half-brother. Shortly after, Kalina meets Stuart, the other brother. Both brothers are vampires, as was Kalina's ex-boyfriend Aaron. The dialogue, rivalry between brothers, plot twists, and action is so well-planned and carried out, you can visualize this as a movie. If you love young adult vampire romance books with a strong kick-butt heroine, this book series is for you.
Teen Book Reviewer
Loved it! Very exciting storyline, can't wait for the next one....
Ariana, early 20s.
Pulse is fast paced and intriguing, the story has twists at every turn and the ending leaves you open mouthed and wanting more. Kailin did a wonderful job in creating this vampire world.
Melissa Silva, The Bookshelf
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Life’s Blood
PULSE 2
Book 2
kailin gow
Life’s Blood (PULSE #2)
Published by THE EDGE
THE EDGE is an imprint of Sparklesoup LLC
Copyright © 2010 Kailin Gow
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
For information, please contact:
THE EDGE at Sparklesoup
P.O. Box 60834
Irvine, CA 92602
www.sparklesoup.com
First Edition.
Printed in the United States of America.
ISBN: 1597489425
ISBN: 978-1597489423
This book series is dedicated to all the nameless volunteer blood donors, my doctor, and nurses at Las Colinas Medical Center in Texas who helped me pull through when I had suffered extreme blood loss, blacked out, and nearly hit my head on the floor. Your team gave me bags of blood for transfusion, which helped restore me to a level of safety.
My body craved the blood to keep alive, yet the thought of having to receive the blood from others because my own body couldn't generate it fast enough, made me empathize with vampires like Jaegar and Stuart.
When faced with death by blood loss, you realize how precious that blood in your veins and that beat in your heart are. Thank you blood donors around the world for providing this pulse for me and everyone who may at one point or another require your gift.
Sincerely,
Kailin
Prologue
There is a legend, whispered over campfires, etched out into the walls of caves. Its secrets lie hidden in the scrolls of the ancient Library of Alexandria, since laid to waste, and in the splendid mosaics of the palaces of kings. It has remained on the lips of wise men and in the memories of witches for centuries – a secret that treads at the furthest expanses of our imagination, and promises us deadly mysteries. The human defenses against it – the cross, the bulb of garlic, a sprinkling of holy water – at times seem to pale against the enormity of the enemy: the great terror that is signified by the word “vampire.”
Young women have awoken shrieking from their beds at nights, dreaming of awakening shrieking from their graves. Young men have gone missing by moonlight, only to be seen again years later with the flickering of the night sky – with pale, smooth faces and teeth like spears. And then there are those who do not reawaken, the soul sapped from their eyes; these are the trails of bodies left behind, in the wake of vampires' lust.
There are some who say vampires have more powers than the merely physical. They are impossibly beautiful, and with a single fixed gaze they can make even the most vigorous youth pray for the ecstasies of death at their hands. They need only to stare, to whisper to the human on whom they have set their wicked sights, and then the human is theirs – as completely theirs as if they have fallen into the deepest depths of love, with these creatures for whom there is no love.
All these legends are true. Their marble skin; their pricked teeth – the danger in their eyes – all of this is true.
But there are some vampires – vampires with a particular strength, a particular goodness before turning – who live to regret their own cruelty, enacted as thoughtlessly as a predator seizing upon his prey. They deny the vampiric lore that they are, no longer being human, no longer governed by human laws; they long for kindness – they long for salvation.
Some glimmer of salvation was found amid the splendors of Renaissance Florence. A vampire called Lorenzo, in a final mocking act at God, attempted to turn the priest Father Botticelli on the consecrated ground of the Duomo.
But although he could sap Father Botticelli of his strength and of his blood, his soul had already been consecrated to God and Lorenzo could not take that. In the aftermath of his turning, Father Botticelli found that crosses could not affect him; holy water did not burn him. And – perhaps most importantly – he could still whisper the rites, and bless the communion wine.
As all good Catholics know, according to the mysteries of transubstantiation, the communion wine becomes the Blood of Christ during the service. And – it came to light – if it were true that crosses and water, imbued with the most sacred powers of belief – could harm an evil vampire, so too was it true that the Blood of Christ could sustain a good one. And all those vampires who wished to avoid the taking of a human life participated in this strange mass.
From the moment that word spread that Father Botticelli was able to produce what came to be known as il vino di vampiro - vampire wine – he was in danger, from vampires no more willing to accept a traitor to their ways of blood and death than they were to bear this affront without fighting back. The wine-drinking vampires – the bibenda – escorted Father Botticelli to safety; among them was Stuart Greystone, who put his family's centuries-old winery to use in the bottling and proliferation of vampire wine.
And thus were a small, yet powerful group of vampires able to retain their humanity, at the cost of expressing the urges that were not only free and natural, but indeed overwhelming, to all vampires. With Stuart Greystone at the helm of Greystone Wineries, some vestige of human goodness was allowed to remain....
But this is not the only legend surrounding vampires. Even legends have legends, and for centuries vampires have whispered among themselves – standing perched at gravestones, hidden behind the thresholds of palaces, feasting on corpses – of a story so powerful that it threatened the very essence of their shriveled afterlives.
Life's Blood.
It had begun in China (was it China? Some said Japan – others said Anatolia. But it was China, in the end.) A doctor, wise in the ways of herbs and medicines – as wise as any mere human could be – wished to experiment with vampires: to discover their essence, to counter their cruelty with those same powers, used for good. He captured one such vampire and experimented upon him, drawing vials of his blood and storing them in his laboratory – combining the blood and operating upon it in such a way that when he at last injected the blood into his veins, he experienced a few moments of the greatest euphoria he had ever known. He was able to run faster than the winds across the Mongolian Steppe; to race up walls; to jump from tree to tree like a long-tailed lemur, to break down doors with a simple brush of his wrist.
Ten minutes later he died, his heart overwhelmed by the intensity bursting through it.
His daughter was reported to have continued his work – a brilliant young woman who, if she had been a man, might have risen to the highest ranks of civil servant in the Empire. She mastered the formula; she discovered how it was that a human could contain within her veins vampire-blood, untempered by the cruelty of vampire magic; her blood became Life's-Blood.
Legends sprang up around this mysterious Life's Blood, and its inventor. It was said that the woman had fallen in love with a French Vampire who came seeking her counsel – together they bore a child, with Life's Blood naturally running through her veins. It was said that a single drop of Life's Blood, when worn in a ring or amulet, was sufficient to allow a vampire to withstand the sun. It was said that drinking from a Life's Blood vessel was enough to render a vampire not only powerful, but invincible, until the end of time. And it was said that, to mirror that first encounter between the young Chinese girl and the French Vampire, that if the bearer of Life's Blood were to fall in love with a vampire, and were to give her blood freely to him, then such a vampire would be given the greatest of gifts – or the most terrible of curses. He would become human again.
The Life's Blood vanished over time. There were rumors of carriers every few centuries, but they were quickly silenced by time and space.
And then there was a baby girl. A girl adopted from an orphanage in Nepal by a pair of missionary doctors, who took her back with them to the sunny wine country of Rutherford, California, and raised her until their deaths – a single improvised-explosive device in Afghanistan. She grew strong and brave, with legs like a colt and skin the color of milky coffee – her eyes French; her lips Chinese, her cheekbones German, her hair Italian – her body telling the story of a lineage of legends, and secrets, and power.
It was only when another winemaker, Aaron Greystone, caught sight of her – which he smelled within her blood a scent that had driven vampires mad for centuries – that he knew who she was.
She was the carrier.
She was the legend.
It was only three months after Aaron's death, after a six-month romance between them, that Aaron's two half-brothers, Stuart and Jaegar Greystone, visited Kalina and told her the truth.
And she knew, within her blood, that they were right.
And she knew that nothing would be the same again.
Chapter 1
The guards marched Kalina down the long hall of the villa. The windows had all uniformly been shuttered or painted black to keep out the light; even at the height of day there was nothing here but candlelight to allow her to see.
“Now now, missy,” said one of the guards. “We'll see what Octavius wants with you!” He snickered; she could glimpse the shine of his fangs even in the flickering candlelight. “He's one lucky vampire, he is.”
“Don't you get stroppy with Octavius; he'll turn you into breakfast before you can even scream!” The second guard leered at her with black eyes – eyes devoid of soul, devoid of sense. She shuddered.
I wish to speak to Octavius in private,” she said, trying not to let her voice tremble too much.
The guard gave her a significant look. “Speak. Right.”
“In private!” The other guard laughed, drawing out the joke until his companion's grin had soured into a glower.
They led her down the hall into the bedroom. It was a sumptuous room – decorated as Kalina imagined the villas of the Renaissance age must have been – Romanesque arches denoting doorways, heavy white gauzy curtains over windows she knew had been boarded shut. A fresco was painted over the headboard of the bed.
She sat down, feeling her skin sink into the silky white sheets.
She had to put her plan together. She had bought a little time – convincing Octavius that she wasn't the Life's Blood after all, putting just enough doubt into his mind that he wanted to talk to her before he...no, she couldn't think about that now. He knew it. She knew it. If he drank from her without being certain she was the Life's Blood, if he were unable to convince her to love him freely – and she would never, never love him freely, he would lose his hope of being human forever. She had put doubt into Octavius’ mind that she was a virgin – she knew the legend as well as he did. If he drank from her after she had ceased to be a virgin, her blood would turn him not into a human, but into a monster as horrifying as invincible. And for all the cruelty in Octavius’ eyes – for all his anger and rage – she knew he wouldn't want that.
He wanted what all vampires wanted – whether they admitted it to themselves or not – whether they scoffed at the idea or publicly begged for it: to be human again.
He couldn't risk it.
She curled up into the bed, closing her eyes. Her thoughts drifted first to Stuart, then to Jaegar, back and forth again so quickly until she felt as if she were viewing a composite: Stuart's eyes, Jaegar's lips – their beauty melding together into a single image of the man she loved. They had both been so kind to her – their love twinned with their loyalty to their dead brother – and in return she had grown to love them. She loved Stuart's quiet strength, his melancholy, and his tense efforts to overcome his vampiric nature. And yet – there was Jaegar....
She thought back to the events of the past few weeks. It had all seemed so easy before then; her life was planned out for her. She had always been bound for success – voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in every student poll for the yearbook. She hadn't been anything special, she knew that. But she'd always worked hard, harder than anyone else. She'd spent hours training to make the cheerleading squad, forcing her naturally slender frame to become hard and muscular, lean and taunt. She'd spent just as many hours poring over her school books, doing every extra credit assignment and optional reading to make sure that the grades that dotted her report card were all an uniform line of “A's.” She was careful; she was strong. But she'd never thought she was anything special. Not until Aaron's death.
Three months after Aaron had vanished – with nothing but a bloody backpack giving a testament to his whereabouts – two beautiful men had come into her life at the same time. There was Stuart, the kind-eyed boy in her history class, with a hazel gaze and sandy brown hair, who hugged her and comforted her when Aaron's name came up. And there was Jaegar – that mysterious figure who had swooped down from the skies one day to press his lips against her and then vanish, leaving her with a thrilling sensation in her heart between fear and desire.
Over time she had learned what – and who – they were. They were half-brothers of Aarons, the two heirs to the Greystone Wineries. And, more importantly, they were vampires. Aaron had been a vampire too – and since Aaron had first kissed her that day under the bleachers it seemed like Kalina had no choice. Her fate and the fate of the three Greystone Brothers were inextricably intertwined. She had learned that Stuart was a “good” vampire – suppressing his urges with heady bouts of vampire wine – and that Jaegar was far less so. Jaegar believed in his right, as a vampire, to follow his natural instincts – that eating humans was no different than Kalina eating hamburgers. And yet – he had been magnetic, in his animal desires. And he had restrained from Kalina's blood, although every time she saw him she saw desire like a naked flame in his eyes.
She was special – Stuart and Jaegar alike could agree on that. Her blood carried a mysterious power beyond that of any mere mortal. She knew what they had told her: it was Life's Blood, a blood so powerful that even the hungriest vampire would not dare to drink it lightly. And both Stuart and Jaegar, for all their differences, loved their brother Aaron, and out of reverence for Aaron's memory they would protect her.
And she had grown to love them both. She had dated Stuart for a time – maybe she was still dating Stuart. Their fight had never been resolved – the knock-down, drag-out argument that had ensued the last time they were alone together, when her jealousy that Stuart had drunk from her best friend Maeve had overwhelmed her, the fact that Stuart could slake his desire with Maeve's blood while protecting at once her veins and her virginity had gotten her so angry that in her tearful despair she had crashed her car...and then Stuart had been kidnapped.... She could not tell where they stood.
And then there was Jaegar. She had held herself back from him for so long – masking her attraction to him with barbed insults and witty banter – until last night in the hotel, as they waited to make a move on Octavius’ estate, her desire and pain and anger had overwhelmed her, and she no longer wanted to wait, wanted to keep herself from expressing the desire that had been mounting within her. And she had kissed him, felt the fire of his lips on hers, and lost herself within his cool, harsh stare and the tight embrace of his arms.
But then Octavius had come – captured both Jaegar and Stuart in an attempt to have Kailna, and her blood, all to himself It had amused him, he said, to force Kalina to choose whom she loved, and give him her love. It wouldn't have mattered which one she chose – she knew the truth. Octavius planned to kill them both. The only vampire he wanted tasting what flowed in her neck and wrists was Octavius himself. But he wanted to see who she'd pick, nonetheless.
Was she really the carrier? Kalina could not know – she didn't feel like a Carrier. But what did that even mean? She shuddered as she thought about the implications. If she was the Carrier, she held three vampire's' lives in her hands. And if she wasn't, well – that was worse still. Octavius would send Jaegar and Stuart, with their trained wine makers' noses, out into the world to find the Carrier.
And Kalina would be dead.
Kalina felt hot tears pouring down onto the pillow. How could she live like this – in fear? With the two men she loved imprisoned just a few floors below her?
Think fast, Kalina, she told herself. You've just got to think faster, that's all.
Chapter 2
But she could not deny that Octavius was attractive, as all vampires were. But vampires, like the Greystone wine, were meant to only grow better with age, and in his ancient power Kalina could see that he held his beauty with far more poise than either Stuart or Jaegar. He was nearly six foot seven, an incredible height for a man of her century and an unthinkably gigantic one for a man in Ancient Rome. He had been turned, she knew, during his time serving in the Roman Empire under Vespasian; his muscles, created by years of hard fighting in the distant outposts of Empire, had calcified when he was turned; if anything, he had only gotten stronger during the years. His hair was dark and wavy, falling in long locks over his face. His lips were full – deep, without ever losing the hard masculinity in their expressing. His cheekbones were high, like marble slats across his face. But it was his eyes that stood out most at her, the eyes that even in the painter's reproduction betrayed the inner wilderness. They were the eyes of a beast, not a man.
It was like something out of a romance novel, she thought – being placed in this room, with its silken sheets and gauzy curtains, its flowers and expensive carpets, to be the bride of a man who looked like that. But Kalina knew that it was less a romance than horror. Octavius wanted her for one reason alone – her blood. She thought of Stuart and Jaegar, but it was too late. She knew they were imprisoned; they could no more help her now than she could help them. She was on her own.
Kalina's mind flashed back to something Stuart had told her. “If a vampire whom you do not love tries to drain you, your blood will make him – or her – so powerful that it is better for you to kill yourself first than face the consequences of that power. The vampire will grow more evil, crueler, and invincible, and thousands of innocent lives will be destroyed as a result.”
No! Kalina shook her head. That couldn't be the answer – to kill herself without even trying to get away! She had to at least fight first, if for no other reason than her own honor. She couldn't give up now, she couldn't! She scanned the room for a weapon, her eyes wildly passing over each object. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror – her beauty drained to paleness by her fear, her lips red and dark against her milk-white face; it was a face gone pale with terror. Well, Octavius certainly isn't going to want me now, she said to herself, not without irony.
The mirror!
“Here goes seven years of bad luck,” Kalina muttered to herself. She took the gold-plated tissue box from the vanity and threw it at the mirror until it cracked. Shards of glass shattered and fell to the floor. She seized two of the biggest, sharpest shards and hid them in her sleeves. They would have to be used one way or the other, she thought. Either on Octavius or on herself.
She heard footsteps coming down the corridor and froze, her blood turning to ice within her veins.
“Who's there?” she called, but she felt that she already knew the answer. “Show yourself.”
The doorknob turned and the door opened.
It wasn't Octavius.
Standing before her was a young woman – approximately Kalina's height – with a mess of dark brown hair curled in ringlets that reminded Kalina of the 1940's. She wore a silk scarf tied elegantly around her head, and her eyes were obscured by a pair of oversized sunglasses, giving her the look of an Old Hollywood starlet.
Was she a vampire? Kalina caught sight of the bite-marks on her neck. No, she couldn't be a vampire – vampires would have healed those cuts in a manner of seconds. What, then? Kalina had heard of feeders, women who willingly provided services – sanguine and otherwise – to vampires who liked to build up a continual rapport with the source of their blood. She had read about them in Aaron's journal, but she had never seen one in the flesh. Until now.
“Who are you?” she asked, her voice trembling. This was a human, she thought, trying not to let her hope bubble up to the surface just yet. A human being – with thoughts, with sympathies, with feelings. Maybe she could convince her....
The woman set down a plate of fruit on the vanity. “Octavius thought you might be hungry,” she said, her voice a distinctive New York drawl. Her voice was high-pitched and nasal. “We don't keep lot of fresh food around here, for obvious reasons. But here's what I have.” The wind blew her summer dress into ripples.
“Thank you,” said Kalina, taking an apple warily. She realized that it had been hours since she had last eaten.
She couldn't see the woman's eyes behind the glasses; nevertheless, Kalina had the highly specific feeling of being surveyed, even judged. She prickled under the gaze.
“Huh,” said the woman. “He's not so bad, you know. He can be quite kind sometimes. He's always kind with me.” she giggled. “Unless I ask him not to be. You'll get used to him.”
“Who are you?” Kalina said again, more firmly this time.
The woman took off her glasses. “I'm Olivia,” she said. “I'm his.”
“Willingly?”
Olivia looked offended. “Octavius is very handsome,” she said. “There isn't a woman in the world that wouldn't go with him – willingly.” She sat down next to Kalina on the bed and gave her hand a pat. “I know you're scared,” she said. “I was at first. But Octavius will be gentle. And he knows what to do – he's very experienced. I'm sure you'll enjoy it...”
Kalina wasn't sure if Olivia was talking about feeding or sex; either way, she felt sick to her stomach. “I don't want to...”
“Oh, you will!” said Olivia brightly, completely oblivious to Kalina's disgust. “Every woman does. When you're near Octavius, you can't help but want to...”
Kalina swiftly tried to steer the conversation away from Olivia's sexual proclivities. “How long have you been here?” she asked.
“Nearly three years,” said Olivia. “I came to L.A. in order to become an actress. But I found Octavius instead – and a much more steady occupation. He took me all over the world. We went to France, Italy – Monaco, the Italian Riviera, and Cannes! We didn't get much sun on the beaches,” she laughed, “but the nightlife was exciting.”
“But he didn't turn you?”
Olivia's smile vanished. “He will when he's ready!” she said, her voice drawing higher. “Eternity's a long time, you know. And it takes guys a while to commit. Octavius wouldn't commit eternity to be with just anybody! He turns men all the time to be his soldiers – but that's different. He'll ask me soon. Just you wait.”
“I'm sure,” said Kalina. Olivia didn't seem to pick up on the irony.
“If I was his love, he'd turn me!” Olivia gave a forced shrug. “But vampires don't fall in love with humans. Everyone knows that. It's different for them. They have such high standards.”
“Indeed.”
Olivia rose sharply. “Anyway, that's why I'm completely fine with Octavius wanting you. Completely fine. One hundred percent. You're just food to him, anyway. Just food! He just wants your blood to make him powerful, and that's it!”
“That's reassuring,” said Kalina.
“He said the spell wouldn't work though – if you weren't, you know.”
“What?”
“A virgin.” Olivia made a face.
So, that's what he'd told Olivia. The fact of the matter was that if he drank from her if she wasn't a virgin, the spell would work – it would make him immortal, powerful, everything he'd ever wanted. But it wouldn't make him human. Apparently his desire for humanity was even a secret from his girlfriend.
“That's why he really sent me,” said Olivia. “To check.”
“To check what?” Kalina put the pieces together. “Ew! No – no way.”
Olivia put her hands on her hips. “Please don't make this anymore awkward.”
“How can you...”
“I was a nurse,” said Olivia. “Well, nursing school dropout – same thing. I can tell if you're a...”
“Seriously?” Kalina was beginning to think that humans were even more difficult to reason with than vampires.
“He didn't do it himself! I think he's being gentlemanly – sending a woman to do the job.”
“It's not gentlemanly – it's invasive!”
“He's going to bite you anyway,” continued Olivia matter-of-factly. “I don't see why it's such a big deal.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“It'll only take a second.” Olivia leaped forwards, wrapping her fingers around the belt-buckles of Kalina's jeans. “It won't hurt.”
Kalina slapped her hand away.
“God, stop being such a bitch, okay? I'm just doing my job. If you're not – that's fine too. I'm sure Octavius won't kill you. He'll just feed on you and use you as a concubine. It'd be fun. We can have slumber parties! Only – you try and become his primary mistress, and I swear to heck I'll cut you. And if you are a virgin – which, considering how frigid you're being, wouldn't surprise me one bit – well, fine, he's found his special Life's Girl, and...”
Her monologue was interrupted by the sharp sound of Kalina's fist colliding with her eye socket.
“Ow, what the...”
Before Olivia could respond properly, Kalina punched her again, then delivering a swift blow to the back of the head with the box she had used earlier. Olivia collapsed to the ground, unconscious.
Kalina thought quickly. In a flash, she had removed both her clothes and Olivia's, forcing Olivia into her straggly jeans and putting the summer dress and scarf on her own body. She put on the sunglasses and looked into one of the mirror shards. Yes, she thought, the resemblance was passable, especially under candlelight. She dragged the unconscious Olivia into the bed and made up the sheets around her, making it look like Kalina was merely sleeping, exhausted.
She took the tray and headed out the door.
Chapter 3
Stay calm, Kalina told herself. Wearing Olivia's wide-rimmed sunglasses and the sunny floral printed scarf tied over her hair, she almost resembled Olivia. She had to stay in the shadows and keep her head down. Vampires probably didn't notice humans too much anyway, she reasoned. They were far more interested in their own kind.
She held her grip more tightly on the tray as she left the room, Olivia's unconscious body still prone beneath the bedclothes. She hoped they wouldn't find her too soon.
“What's that there, missy?” One of the guards was leaning in closer, inhaling the scent of her.
Kalina fixed her eyes on the tray. “Just bringing in food to the new girl,” she said, mustering the best impression of a New York accent she could. “Octavius’ new floozy.”
“Jealous, are we?” The guard leaned in – just close enough to sniff...
“Hey, watch it!” she said. “How'd you think Octavius would feel about you sniffing' his lady? Don't touch the merchandise, hey?”
“Apologies, Miss Olivia,” said the guard, and retreated.
She passed another few guards on the way down the corridor; they did not notice her, or if they did, they paid her no more attention than they would a passing stray dog, or a chicken in the yard. The up side of being thought of as food, Kalina thought. To vampires not paying attention, all humans looked pretty similar.
She heard whispering from the other end of the corridor – two guards were clearly gossiping, exhausted by their duties.
“And to think,” one of them was saying. “We used to host the Greystone brothers in our nicest guest room – and now they're in the dungeon with the rats and the filth!”
“Octavius must be really angry. I've never seen any of his men fall so far, so fast.”
“Gerard Greystone's sons, too! Why, Gerard Greystone must have been Octavius’ best friend. What would he say if he saw his sons...”
“They kept the girl from him,” said the guard sagely. “You know Octavius and women...”
“Octavius and women, indeed...”
“This girl's making him soft; I expected him to drink her right there.”
The other guard cut him off. “Don't you dare,” he said. “Don't you dare.”
“What?”
“You know the trouble I'd be in if anyone heard you talk like that? Octavius is not soft when it comes to those who cross him – understood?”
“I was only saying...”
“Only saying? Only saying? Well let me tell you, boy - “only saying” has gotten vampires killed before this.”
“I'm sorry – I just..”
“Keep your mouth shut! Or I'll toss you in the basement with the Greystone brothers. And it's getting crowded in there. I bet it’s starting to smell...”
“I'm good, thanks.”
“You don't mess with Octavius.”
“I don't mess with Octavius. Got it,” said the younger vampire, swallowing nervously.
Kalina slipped past them and rounded a corridor. It was dimmer here – only a few candles lit the passageway. From the dark, dank smell rising up from the spiral staircase, she guessed it led to the dungeon. She slipped down into the shadows, one step at a time.
A hand clamped down on her shoulder.
She gasped and whirled around. Octavius was standing before her.
“Pretty girl,” he said – and she noticed he was slurring. Wine was strong on his breath. Did he recognize her? She cast her eyes down and shoved the two of them into the shadowiest corner of the stairwell she could find. Nevertheless, if she could hear her heart pounding, it must sound like thunder to a vampire....
“Octavius,” she said, in her most nasal voice.
“Olive,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “Pretty little Olive.”
“Uh huh.”
“One hundred and twenty-three years old.”
“What?”
“One hundred and twenty-three years old. That's how long it will be. It took me a hundred years since the last hint of Life's Blood to find the girl. And if it takes me another hundred....you'll be old – you'll be dead. I'll be starting from scratch.” His voice was hollow, broken. “You'll grow old – first withered, then pale, then sick...you'll die...”
Against herself, Kalina felt compassion for this strange vampire; his pain was splayed out across his face. She stroked his cheek lightly.
“Turn you?” He caught her hand. “No – no, I won't do that. Not you. You wouldn't want it. I – I wouldn't want it – your lovely tan...no, Kalina has to be the one. She has to be!”
He stumbled into her, and before Kalina realized what was happening he was kissing her, his hands wrapped tightly in her hair, his mouth deep upon hers. She felt the light touch of his tongue against her lips; his teeth gently prodding at her.
It was as if she had been inverted.
“Nobody who gets near Octavius,” Olivia had said, “can resist him.”
It was vampire magic; Kalina could feel it in her, even as she scrambled to get her thoughts together. Poor Olivia, she thought, thinking of the addled young woman knocked unconscious in the bedroom. She really loved this man – and despite herself, Kalina could see why.
“Your blood,” Octavius was murmuring, his voice hot with desire. “Your blood.”
“What? No...”
But it was too late. Octavius had moved his mouth down to Kalina's neck, and where Olivia's two puncture marks had been, now there was only smooth, white flesh.
He drew his head back, and in a swift, sure motion, removed her sunglasses.
His eyes grew dark with rage.
It was too late. She was caught
Chapter 4
Kalina swallowed as she stared into the eyes of Octavius. If the portrait had shown his gaze as haunting, even terrifying, with those deep brown eyes filled to blackness with intensity, then nevertheless the painting had lied. Octavius’ gaze was infinitely more terrible in real life. She felt herself frozen, fixed on the spot like a butterfly wriggling under a pin. She was transfixed, as much by his beauty as by her fear, her heart leaping and writhing within her. Her throat closed up; her breath grew shallow and then silent.
“Kalina,” said Octavius. His voice was as smooth as whipped cream. “How...interesting. I thought you were...”
“Olivia,” Kalina blurted out.
“Yes, Olivia, very good,” said Octavius, pacing around her like a feral cat. “Where is she? What have you done with her?”
“She's in your bedroom,” said Kalina. “I think she'd rather be there than me at any rate.” She stopped short, surprised at her own daring.
Octavius considered her.
“That's why you want to become human, isn't it?” said Kalina, her voice shaking. “Because of her.”
Octavius scoffed. “Nonsense,” he said. “Become a human – why on earth would I want that? When I have spent my life turning weak, feeble, mortal human beings into vampires stronger than thunder faster in the wind – why would I want to sacrifice all that?”
“For love?”
“What are you talking about?” Octavius snapped.
“For love,” Kalina said again, louder this time. It was a gamble, but as her heart began to pound so loudly it almost deafened her, it was the only chance she had. “You don't want Olivia to live as you have lived...a life that isn't a life at all, is it? What about Drusilla? You loved her – you were going to marry her. And then she was turned. You wanted to turn her, didn't you? Was that why she killed herself? To stop you?”
Octavius turned away swiftly. “How dare you?” he said. “That was a long time ago.”
“Centuries,” said Kalina, softly. She looked straight into Octavius’ eyes, trying to find a layer of soul beneath the rage and the pain. She took his hand. She could almost feel sympathy, mingled with her fear and her desire. “You want a normal life – with someone you love. That's normal, Octavius.”
He grabbed hold of her wrist in a flash of movement. “Come with me,” he said. “Come on – faster.” He dragged Kalina down a corridor and into a room. It was not as sumptuous as the bedroom she had been inside earlier, but it was nevertheless comfortable – above all things modern, with a sleek bedframe and black satin sheets. It was lined with film promotional posters, belying the room's owner.
“Olive's room?” asked Kalina.
“How’d you guess?” said Octavius, with only a hint of irony.
Kalina sat down on the bed, with Octavius’ fingers still curled tendril-tight about her wrist. His grip loosed somewhat, and she found that his fingers were gentle to the touch.
“Perhaps I underestimated you, Kalina,” said Octavius softly. “You see, I am used to beautiful women – with Olive's intelligence, shall we say?” The last time he had fixed his gaze on her, it had been that of a conqueror, a predator looking lustfully at his prey. Now his gaze was full of questions. “You're wearing Olive's clothes. Perhaps you do look like her. But that is not the resemblance that strikes me most, now. No – with hair like yours, eyes like yours...the resemblance is to Drusilla. It is not my death I regret, after all these centuries. No, it is hers that I mourn for. If she were the carrier of the Life's Blood – perhaps that would be worth dying for, becoming human for.” He loosed his fingers from Kalina's wrist and raised them to her face, brushing away the hairs stray around her brow with the lightest of touches. “Your eyes are different, yes. And you're taller. But I can see in you that which I loved so much in her. But more than anything it is your intelligence that interests me. Drusilla was an educated Roman girl – a senator's daughter. Her father taught her not just Latin, but the other languages as well – she knew Greek as well as any philosopher-slave, and even spoke and read Hebrew, for her father had first been a general in Judea. She could speak of the philosophers and the gods – Herodotus, Plato – Virgil, Homer...it was for this that I loved her. And in all my time alive I have not found that same spark of genius – as I saw once, as I loved once in my Drusilla, until now.”
Kalina shuddered. “What about Olivia?” she asked.
Octavius pulled away. “Yes, he said.” “I am quite fond of Olive. I have always been. But she is not...she is not…” he said. “She is a body. Perhaps at one time I imagined spending eternity with her – out of my loneliness, but that was before I met you.”
Was it the Life's Blood? Kalina thought. She knew the dangerous curse of her blood – it exuded an attraction to vampires so strong that it clouded the mind of even the most cunning vampire. But she knew the down-side, too. She was destined to fall in love with a vampire; she was more susceptible than even most humans to the mysterious charms of that bloody race.
“Legend had it,” Octavius continued, working his way to her cheeks, “that you will fall in love with a vampire. The Carrier always has. You could not choose between those two young boys – choose one. Perhaps you did not love either – not enough, at any rate. Not with all the ardor of true love. You are confused – unsure.” Octavius smiled – a smile filled with joy as well as victory. “You are yet to fall in love, Kalina…which means there is a chance for me in your heart. I felt it, you know. When I kissed you; I felt it upon your lips.”
Kalina could not deny that she had felt something when he kissed her, overcome by his vampire magnetism, the animal passions coursing through his veins, awakening all the life her blood held in its infinite magic.
Octavius leaned towards her, cupping her face in his hands. Slowly, with impossible tenderness and stunning skill, he pressed his lips against her, kissing her. It was not the kiss of a boy, but rather of a skilled lover. In its heat, its sure passion, Kalina was reminded of Jaegar – of the frenzied kisses they had shared in the Sunrise Motel the night before, when they had in their terror of the day to come succumbed to their passion. But unlike Jaegar – perhaps more like Stuart, if anyone – Octavius was restrained, powerful – entirely in control. He did not give himself over, as Jaegar had, to the melody of the moment; rather, he was old enough, experienced enough, to control himself and his desires, playing them out upon her body. Kalina's head began to swirl as she lost all sense of herself, as she began to forget why it was that she had come, who it was she had come for, losing herself in the chaos of Octavius’ kiss.
He pushed her back down onto the bed; she allowed him to rise over her, to bury his lips in her neck, to trail his tongue along the edges of her collarbone.
What are you doing, Kalina? A rational voice in the back of her head shouted at her -but it sounded like an echo from across a sea – voices that had no bearing on the present, on the moment. Her head was a delirious expanse of clouds...
She kissed him back; she tangled her fingers in his hair; she set upon him with hungry kisses.
He pulled away – slowly, gently – and as he began to remove his shirt she could glimpse upon his face the semblance of a cruel smile.
“Stop!” Kalina cried, coming back to her senses. “No – no, I can't.”
“Why not?” There was a twinkle of malice in Octavius’ eyes. “I warn you – I will find stopping myself incredibly difficult...”
“Because,” Kalina's voice was trembling with shock.
Octavius’ fangs were out now, ready to puncture the smooth skin of her neck.
“I'm a virgin,” Kalina admitted, her face turning scarlet as she scrambled off the bed. “Also,” she said, regaining her composure. “You're keeping me prisoner – and this is your girlfriend's bed.”
Octavius ignored the last part. “I knew it!” he grinned. He slipped the straps of Kalina's dress back onto her shoulders, the game concluded. “But wasn't it fun to find out?” His voice was devoid of the soft melancholy that had led her to sympathy before. “I enjoy these sorts of games, don't you?”
“Why, you...”
“Well, we've established that,” said Octavius blithely. “On to the next thing, shall we?”
He led her down another corridor, down to the stairs she had tried to descend earlier, into the basement. He flicked on a switch and flooded the room with light. Aside from the slight smell of damp, it wasn't as bad as she'd thought – the room was Spartan, but certainly not Medieval.
Perhaps Octavius isn't so bad. Perhaps being his prisoner wouldn't be the worst thing. He's handsome, isn't he? Gorgeous. I'd even enjoy it...
Kalina shuddered from the fantasies that had come unbidden into her mind. She knew it was the vampire magic talking – the seductive force that unlocked secret desires and clouded the mind from common sense. It made her feel that she didn't even know herself, or her own desires. She hated the thought; it frightened and disgusted her.
Her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room. There, tied to three chairs in the center, were three faces – three faces she had known, had loved. Jaegar, Stuart – and Aaron.
“Aaron!” Kalina shrieked, rushing towards him. Octavius remained implacable, a wry smile on his face.
“Aaron – I thought you were...oh, God!” Tears began flowing from her eyes as she rushed towards him. He did not look well – he was thin, with straggly hair and bruises upon his pale skin – but he was alive, and that was more than enough for her. She rushed to embrace him, clasping him in her arms. She saw Stuart and Jaegar looking at her – their love palpable on both their faces – and tried to signal them both, in whatever subtle way she could, how much she loved them – how much she missed them.
“I'm so sorry, Kal,” Aaron whispered. It was the first time anyone had called her Kal in months. “I should have told you. I should have told you everything...”
She quieted him. “It's all right,” she said. “It's all right now.”
“You shouldn't be here,” said Aaron.
“No,” said Octavius from behind them. “She shouldn't. She should be upstairs right now, reclining in my bed, supping on peaches and grapes and pear, being treated like a princess. Not down here in the dungeons with you and your idiot brothers. You should have brought her to me here from the beginning. Then you would have spared yourself from this....predicament.”
“I couldn't do it!” Aaron shouted, struggling against his bonds with rage.
Kalina stared at the ropes. She placed her hand idly in her dress pocket – remembering where she had left her pocket knife.
“If you knew Kal – even one little bit – you'd know how special she is – how nobody, not even the strongest vamp in this country or the whole world, even, could get to her. Not just because of her blood – but because she's Kal!”
Kalina's fingers tightened on the knife. Suddenly, she began sobbing – loud, enormous sobs, throwing her arms around Aaron and weeping as hard as she could. Octavius, Jaegar, and Stuart looked on in shock.
“Oh, Aaron,” she cried. “I've missed you so...” Even Aaron looked confused. Kalina wasn't usually like this.
As she distracted the others with her sobbing, she placed the blade of her pocket knife to the ropes, and began cutting...
“Are you sure she is the Carrier?” said Octavius. “Vampire wine may have dulled your senses. She might just be...ordinary”
“I'm sure!” said Aaron. “She's anything but ordinary – haven't you smelled her?”
Damn it. Vampire or not, Aaron still had the immaturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, Kalina thought. And sometimes he needed to learn not to open his mouth.
She continued cutting, finally breaking through the ropes. Aaron felt them slacken; at last he understood what was going on.
“Good,” said Octavius. “Just what I needed to hear.” Kalina felt him move on behind her; before he could reach her she whirled around on one foot, kicking him square in the mouth while slicing his chest open with the blade of the pocket-knife.
Octavius fell back, as much in shock as in pain.
Kalina rushed towards Jaegar and Stuart to untie them, but to her surprise, they leaped up of their own accord.
“You were already untied?” Kalina shouted.
“We're centuries old!” cried Jaegar. “What did you expect – weaklings?”
Stuart grabbed one of the iron chairs, holding it out before him for defense; Kalina grabbed one of the mirror shards from her pocket and threw it to Jaegar. Then Octavius rose, and everything exploded into a cacophony of sounds and cries, blood and chaos. Stuart was striking Octavius with the chairs – then Jaegar was slicing him open – then...
“No!” Kalina screamed, as Octavius rushed for Jaegar's neck, taking a large bite out of the marble-colored flesh.
Jaegar gasped and staggered. Before Octavius could finish the job, though, Stuart hit him again with a chair. “Go!” Stuart cried, as Aaron and Kalina clustered together. “I'll hold him off – run! Now!”
“Stuart...”
“Or I'll use compulsion on you if I have to – run!”
Aaron and Kalina rushed up the stairs and out one of the windows – Aaron flying Kalina to safety. They passed one guard on the way; Kalina staked him, and watched him crumble to ashes as they sped on past. Finally, they made it onto the street. It was night, now, and Kalina knew what that mean. More vampires.
“Get in the car! Get in the car!”
“We don't have the keys! Jaegar must...”
Kalina felt a thud behind her – a shadow cast over her. “Aar--” the scream died on her throat. It was Jaegar.
“Oh, thank God.”
“Hurry,” Jaegar cried. “Get this door open and get out of here. Stuart will catch up with us...”
If he survives, he did not say, but Kalina could hear the worry in his voice.
“Let's get out of here.”
Kalina pressed down on the gas and the car sped off through the night towards Rutherford.
Chapter 5
The night seemed to overtake them like a flood – the wind and darkness washing over them in torrential waves. Kalina's fingers grew tight on the steering wheel; her knuckles were white from the effort. She stared straight ahead.
“You okay, Jaegar?” she asked. Jaegar's moan was her only reply.
“He's hanging in there,” said Aaron, his voice frenzied and breathless. “But he'll need to feed. We both do.”
“Will you make the trip?”
She could see his reflection in the rearview mirror – white and in pain. She had a feeling she'd gotten her answer.
“Got any vampire wine?”
Jaegar gave a wry smile, gritting through his pain. “Why would I keep…that...swill…around?” He coughed up some blood. “I prefer…the real stuff.” he coughed again. “Just – get me some blood.”
“I'd offer, but...” Kalina began.
The brothers cut her off immediately. “No!” they shouted in unison.
“We didn't just risk getting you out of there to have you spill your blood now,” Aaron said. “You can't give it up to just any vampire.”
“Look,” said Kalina, swerving a right turn. “He needs blood; I have blood. I don't care whether it makes him human or not – but he's got to drink someone soon and only one of us has a heartbeat. And I'm not about to let him find some...victim, either.”
“I know a girl,” Jaegar coughed out. “Nadine. We...hook up sometimes.”
“A feeder?”
Jaegar spluttered out an assent.
Kalina quelled her jealousy. Someone had to feed Jaegar – and she knew despite her protestations that letting him get too close to her neck was a dangerous idea. All the same – what Maeve had given Stuart, that fantastic bond they'd shared....and now Jaegar would experience that gratitude of desire with someone else. She gritted her teeth and remained silent.
“There's a vamp bar near here,” said Aaron. “One of our suppliers. Vamp wine – it's called Rigor Mortis, on Bethlehem Road. Here – close – stop the car!”
The car screeched into stillness in the lot of a gas station.
“I'm texting her right now,” said Jaegar from the back seat. “Not without irony. Told her I really need some of what she's got.” He laughed, his weakness still evident from his hollow voice. He staggered out of the car. “She's meeting me here.” He gave Kalina an insouciant wink. “We do it in the parking lot.”
“I'll be right back,” said Aaron, speeding into the night.
“Hey – get him a spare,” said Kalina. “In case this girl doesn't show.”
“I'd rather die than drink vampire wine,” Jaegar scoffed. “Now – a little privacy, please?”
He was hurt; she could see it in his eyes. She hadn't chosen him back at Octavius’ villa – even after all that had happened between them – and he wanted her to know just how easy it was for him to find another girl, a girl that could give her his blood. He doesn't have to rub it in, she thought.
“Fine,” she said. “I'll give you some time alone with Nadine. I'll come back in five. But I assume it won't take too long.”
She slammed the car door shut and walked into the gas station shop. The neon lights seemed to mock her pain, twinkling brightly as she entered.
“Hey – can I have some service?”
The shop was empty; behind her, the door kept on swinging, creaking on its hinges.
Hello?”
She crept towards the cash register, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Hello?” she called softly. Something was wrong.
And then she saw the foot peeking out from behind the cash-register. It was at an unnatural angle, pointing towards her like an arrow, the white sneakers stained with blood.
Kalina gasped, forcing her hand over her mouth in order to remain silent. “No,” she thought to herself, “No – no – no....”
She heard a flushing sound – from the bathroom at the other end of the store. Without thinking, she turned immediately and started running.
She was stopped by a light touch on the small of her back.
She knew that speed. Vampires.
She whirled around, ready to fight – but saw nobody before her.
She felt a gentle tugging at her shirt. “I'm right here,” said a voice.
She looked down to see a small child – a boy of no more than eight years of age, with blood staining his shirt.
Oh no – no the young ones, the thought. She remembered well the first vampire she'd seen, the first vampire she'd killed – the little girl with pigtails and a malicious grin on her porcelain-doll face. The littlest ones were always the strongest. She reached into her pocket for the stake, backing away as she did so.
“Back off,” she said.
“You smell sweet,” said the boy. He gave a wicked chortle – filled with the kind of cruelty no little boy should ever know about. The contrast unsettled her. There was nothing innocent about this child – could he have been somebody's son, once? “I can smell it. I like sweets.” He grinned at her.
Kalina took another step backwards. “Didn't your mother ever tell you sweets are bad for you?” asked Kalina?
“Oh yes,” said the little boy. “But that was a long time ago. Before you were born. Before your grandfather was born. We were in a covered wagon, heading West...my mother told me to stop eating so many sweets.” He flashed a full set of teeth at her. “Then I silenced her. For good.”
Kalina tightened her grip on the stake. She could see the evil in his eyes; nevertheless, she hesitated. He still sounded like a child, despite his cruelty – like a little boy, stunted forever from growing mature, from growing up – its experience never making it wise. He would never marry – never fall in love – never have children – never experience life....
The vampire licked his lips and then Kalina regretted her moment of weakness. He jumped upon her, pushing her to the ground. His fangs flashed white in the yellowing light of the store. Kalina could feel his breath against her throat, his fangs brushing the line of her neck.
This is it, Kalina thought, her voice tight with terror. She couldn't even scream. She knew what she had to do – when she was beaten there was only one thing to do: to end it before the vampire did. She forced the stake upwards, towards her own heart, feeling the pressure against her skin.
She was going to die.
Her hands trembled as the stake came closer, as the vampire's lips began seeking her neck – she whispered a prayer and then, before she could move, the vampire was gone, and there was only a pile of dust at her feet.
“What the....”
Jaegar appeared before her, a stake in his hand. “Get up,” he said. “We have to get out of...” She could see the blood on his shirt – Nadine's blood. Had they had sex, too?
Kalina could not move. Fear and exhaustion had set upon her limbs. “I – I was going to...”
Jaegar bent down gently, his earlier brusqueness vanished. “I know,” he said. He gathered her into his arms. “We wouldn't ever – ever – let you do that.” He smiled weakly. “I don't know what I'd do if I lost my...sparring partner.”
“Your sparring partner,” said Kalina, scrambling to her feet. Of course that was all she was – all she ever could be to Jaegar. For all the sweet things he had murmured into her ear a few nights ago, what he really wanted was a woman he could suck dry. “Is that all?”
“Of course not!” Jaegar's voice grew in anger. “But what do you expect? He's my brother and I love him – and if you want me to be happy for you both, I will – but don't expect me to keep on waiting for you!”
“What?”
“When I thought it was Stuart – oh, don't get me wrong – I was jealous – it's Stuart, for goodness's sake – but it's different with Aaron. He's my baby brother. He means more to me than you will ever...”
“Aaron?”
“That's why you couldn't choose between us, wasn't it? Because you really just wanted him.”
“No, that's not...”
“After all he went through – after all he sacrificed for you – he loves you, how could you not?”
“Jaegar!” Kalina spoke sharply. “I didn't ask for it – okay? The last thing I need is that kind of responsibility – to anyone! Not to you, not to Aaron, not to Stuart!”
“Could you be more exasperating, Kalina?”
“What are you talking about?”
Jaegar wrapped his arms around her. “We've sworn to protect you,” he said. “All of us. That's what we do. Please – please don't make this harder than it has to be...”
“Make what harder?”
“I saw what happened in the basement, Kalina. And if you want me to step aside, I'll do it – but don't mess me around – or Stuart – or Aaron. They're my brothers, too. Yeah, even Stuart...as much as I hate to admit it. Truth be told, I'd rather it be Aaron – but you need to let me know what's going on. You owe it to all of us, after all we've done.”
He was right, she knew. She'd allowed herself to be carried away by these feelings – so new, so strange – for these vampires; she still had no way of knowing which feelings were real and which magical, which caused by compulsion and which caused by her natural affinity for vampires, and which by true love.
“I'm trying to figure it out, Jaegar! I'm not doing this on purpose.”
“I've laid my cards on the table for you. It's your turn.”
“Look – Aaron and I were over!” Kalina cried. “But – seeing him again...I broke up with him – but for the wrong reasons, reasons that were a lie! How am I supposed to feel, after everything that's happened with you two. And it doesn't help that you're all vampires – with powers of attraction!” She crossed her arms. “And that none of you will bite me.” She could have laughed at her own silliness; she turned red from embarrassment.
“Oh, Kalina.” He kissed her brow softly. “I know what happened two nights ago – but that was before Aaron came back – and now everything's so...different. We still don't know what's happened to Stuart...”
“He's fine,” Kalina said. “He's got to be fine!”
“I don't know how you feel anymore!”
“You know how I feel!” Kalina cried. “I feel so much – for all of you...I feel so much.”
He placed his hands squarely on her shoulders. “Do you want me?” he asked her. His face was grave, his beautiful blue eyes intense on hers.
“You know I do.”
He forced her mouth against his, finding the depths of her with his tongue. She froze, paralyzed again by that same electricity that always seemed to come over her when he was nearby, before sparking to life again, kissing him back with the same ardor.
“I've wanted to do that ever since I saw you come into the basement,” he murmured. “I've missed you so much – wanted you so much...loved you so...I was so afraid for you.”
He continued murmuring words into the side of her neck; his hands found her waist, their way up her shirt...
“Kalina?”
They broke apart, only to discover Aaron staring at them from the door way. Aaron's face was a canvas of emotions – anger, shock, fear, bitterness, pain all evident in his eyes and on his lips. “Get off her!” He rushed towards them. “Oh, Jaegar – steal from Stuart all you want – your twisted rivalries are none of my concern – but leave Kal out of this!” He threw himself against Jaegar, dragging him to his feet and punching him squarely in the jaw.
“Wait...” Kalina tried.
“I will not let you get her blood – if I have to stake you myself!”
“Stop it!” Kalina cried. They turned to look at her. “Calm down – it's not like that – he wasn't about to drink...”
Aaron rounded on her. “So, this is how you say hello after thinking I was dead! By screwing my brother!”
“I thought you were dead!” Kalina shouted.
“Did you even miss me? Or did you just jump into bed with my brother?”
“Did I miss you? Did I miss you? For three months I didn't eat, didn't sleep. I cried all the time. I dropped out of cheerleading. I lost half my friends. My grades dropped. My whole life was about to end!” Kalina held back her tears. “First I lost my parents and then you. But I had to move on! And when your brothers showed up – with your eyes, and your smile – it was like I got some part of you back again. It was like you weren't really dead – like I could still talk to you, still be with you, in them. And I've grown to love them.” She swallowed hard. “Both of them. Not to mention – I've just been dealing with the fact that you're a vampire! So please excuse me if I'm a bit confused at the moment.”
Aaron's face fell. “I'm sorry Kal,” he said, putting his arm around her. “I wanted to tell you; I really did...it's not going to be easy...”
“It's complicated,” sighed Kalina. “Life is complicated – love, love is complicated. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I didn't want to live a lie.”
“I'm sorry – I'm so sorry – I should have told you, Kal.”
“Why didn't you?” Kalina was growing angry now. “You should have told me. Or did you think I couldn't handle it? Did you think I was so fragile I'd break if I heard the truth? Because I didn't! You can't just make decisions for me!”
“You told her?” Aaron couldn't look Jaegar in the face.
“The first time – she panicked, it's true. I had to make her forget, with compulsion.”
“You what?” Kalina turned on him.
“But Stuart and I tried again – we told her together – she handled it well.”
“I'm still in the room, you know.”
“She's tougher than you think,” said Jaegar.
“Jaegar,” Aaron's voice dropped to a whisper. “You didn't...”
“I'm still here!” But they had forgotten her, now, so lost were they in their rivalry and anger.
“You two didn't...”
“That's none of your bloody business!” Kalina cried. “I mean, really – are you both still stuck being seventeen forever? Obviously you haven’t gotten over your raging hormones.”
Both Aaron and Jaegar looked down, shame-faced.
“Now, drive me home – and don't you dare say one word about who I'm sleeping with, or not sleeping with, or who loves me.” She stamped her foot and crossed her arms. “When I figure it out – I'll let you know.”
Chapter 6
The drive home was conducted in silence. The car was big enough to easily fit six, but the tensions made the car feel claustrophobic, even with only the three of them inside it. Unspoken thoughts and regretted words hung stale in the air, and at times the silence was so overwhelming that Kalina began to feel as if she could not breathe at all. She had taken the wheel for the first half of the drive; eventually, Jaegar had taken over, his eyes flashing with newfound energy. She tried not to think about where he had gotten it – or whom he had gotten it from. As for Aaron, he was sleeping in the back of the car, covered by a heavy wool blanket.
(“Dawn's come,” Jaegar had said, tucking Aaron into the back seat as a mother might tuck in a child. “I don't want you smoldering back there.”)
Kalina had curled up into the passenger seat, resting her head against the smooth glass of the window. Even after all that had happened, her anger began to evaporate as exhaustion took hold. Her eyes began to close, sinking slowly down into oblivion. The last thing she saw as sleep overtook her was Jaegar's ring, glinting in the hint of dawn – the talisman she had made for him with her blood, which could save him from the sunrise. She'd have to make one for Aaron, too, she thought drowsily, and then her thoughts went black.
When Kalina woke, it was already evening, and the moon was bright and bulbous in the sky.
“Where are we?” she murmured. She sat up and was struck by the familiarity of her surroundings. They were parked right across the street from her house. “Why didn't you wake me? Oh, God – Justin's going to...”
“We got in a few hours ago,” said Jaegar. “Nobody was home – I knocked. So I just figured I'd park here. I couldn't get in without an invitation – and I didn't want to wake you. You needed your sleep. And so did Aaron.”
“You could have woken me up,” said Kalina, rubbing her eyes. “I wouldn't have minded.”
Jaegar shook his head. “You looked so peaceful,” he said - “the first time you've seemed relaxed in days. I couldn't stand to wake you up – and have you remember...”
“Thanks, I guess,” Kalina murmured.
“You know,” Jaegar continued. “The way humans sleep. It's so different from how vampires do it. It's really very strange. When vampires sleep, you can tell – we're having nightmares. Our brows furrow. Our faces blanch. But humans – it looks like sleep brings them peace. Is that true, Kalina?”
“Sometimes,” said Kalina. “Don't you remember?”
Jaegar's face darkened and he looked away.
“When we were at the motel...” Kalina began.
“I watched you sleep,” said Jaegar. “It helped to calm me down, to help me think straight. It was soothing, watching you. Watching over you.”
His voice was alive with strangeness. He was a vampire – it was so easy to forget this with Aaron, with Stuart. They could fit into the human world, into human life. Their beauty was almost unparalleled, but yet neither of them had so lost their humanity as to seem like a different creature entirely. But with Jaegar it was different. He was a vampire, through and through – he had of all his brothers forgotten what it meant to be human – its rhythms, its meaning. She had never expected to feel any kind of kinship with him, any kind of closeness. But now, as he reached to touch her cheek, she could not resist sighing softly, letting the sound escape her lips in a whisper of desire. “Jaegar....”
“Don't wake Aaron,” he said, silencing her.
Kalina sighed again. “It's going to be strange,” she said – her voice dropping down to slow quiet - “seeing Aaron as a vampire. I've known him for so long – I didn't think of him as a vampire, as a human, as anything, really. He was...just Aaron. And now...”
“It will be a difficult transition,” said Jaegar, staring straight ahead.
“Should he have told me?” Kalina asked. “I mean,” she gave a little laugh. “You were honest with me from the beginning, at least. You told me not to trust you, to be careful around you. Maybe I didn't listen – but you were up front with what you were. What would have happened if – Aaron had lost control? If we...you know – and he vamped out and tried to bite me? I would have had no idea – how to defend myself, how to stake a vampire, that he even was a vampire.”
“Aaron did what he thought was best,” said Jaegar swiftly. Aaron may have been a romantic rival, but Kalina knew he would never speak ill of his brother. “He is young still,” said Jaegar, “and immature – this is true. But he is a good man...a good vampire.”
Yes, thought Kalina, Aaron was immature. He was, like Stuart, eager to fit in with humans, to learn their ways, and yet at the same time Stuart was far more mature, far more capable of shouldering his responsibilities. He had taught her to defend herself in those long twilights at Greystone Wineries. He had taken care of her when she blacked out on the porch of her own house. He had even won over Justin.
A familiar light on the porch interrupted her reveries.
“Oh, gosh,” she said. “Justin's home. I should probably...”
“Of course.” Jaegar turned to her.
“I texted him that I was at Maeve's – I don't want him to...”
“I understand,” said Jaegar. “We'll continue this later.”
“I don't want him to see your car,” said Kalina. “If he thought I was at Maeve's.”
Jaegar nodded.
“You should go,” Kalina continued. “I don't want to have to introduce another vampire to my brother right now.”
“Justin!” a sleepy voice came from the backseat. “How is Justin?”
“Aaron!” Kalina hoped he hadn't heard their conversation. From the sound of his voice, it seemed that he had only just woken up. She was relieved. “He's good – busy – look, if it's okay with you, I don't think he'll be able to handle your resurrection just yet – so I'll just...go inside, okay?”
“Okay,” said Aaron. He reached into the front seat and squeezed her hand lightly.
“I think I could use a few days to myself, guys,” said Kalina. “But if you hear from Stuart – let me know, okay?” She didn't know what to say to Stuart. Her thoughts were tinged with guilt – after what had happened with Jaegar at the motel, at their almost-breakup (was it a breakup?) the last time they had spoken properly.
Kalina entered the house. Justin was arranging some papers on the kitchen counter. “Who was that?” he said. “It didn't look like Maeve's car – who was that guy?”
Caught, Kalina thought. She shuffled her feet and looked down. “Jaegar,” she said simply. “Stuart's brother. Stuart's been having some issues and Jaegar's been taking care of them – I stopped to help him out with some things after Maeve's.”
“Uh-huh.” Kalina could tell from Justin's voice that he didn't believe her. “Trouble, huh? Like...drug-issues?”
“No!” cried Kalina. “No, no, nothing like that at all! It's just...”
“Just what? Whether you're eighteen or not – I don't like the sound of this.”
“Wineries stuff,” said Kalina. “Business associates. Mature stuff – for grown-ups.” She looked Justin coolly in the face. “Stuart is a grown-up,” she said. “And so am I.”
“Don't remind me!” said Justin, sitting down at the couch. “I'm going to reheat some lasagna – you want?”
“Sure,” said Kalina. It dawned on her that she had not eaten in days; her stomach groaned as a reminder.
Justin came over a few minutes later and sat a soggy-looking piece of lasagna before her. “Sorry Stuart isn't around to cook something decent,” he said. “This....is pretty old.”
“How old?”
“Only a couple days!” Justin grew defensive, then reddened. “Look, Kalina, I'm sorry I haven't been home much,” he said. “It's been crazy at the hospital. I've been working 24/7. Whatever happened to Maeve – severe blood loss - it's been happening to a bunch of other girls. I've never seen anything like it!”
“Gosh,” said Kalina. Her voice was hollow.
“And then some guy in his thirties. It's like – a vampire movie or something.”
“Imagine that.” Kalina could not look at him.
“So there's plenty of garlic in that lasagna,” Justin laughed. “Just in case. And wear Mom's cross!” He took it from a drawer in the dining room table. “Just in case!” His face was filled with mirth. Justin had never been a man of faith – he had abandoned their childhood Catholicism for a belief in the power of science and half-hearted service attendance on Christmas and Easter.
“You wear it,” said Kalina. He needed more protection than she did.
“You'll never believe it,” said Justin. “I was talking to the hospital chaplain about the blood loss – you know Father Roberts; he used to work over in Goldcross Parish – and when I mentioned vampires – even as a joke – he got all serious. Insisted I take this home with me!”
He produced a flask of water, emblazoned with a cross.
“Holy water?”
“I know, right – crazy! Some of the doctors are getting really superstitious about the whole thing. So eat up your garlic!”
“It's cold,” said Kalina. Her thoughts were elsewhere. What had happened to Stuart – she couldn't feel his presence, his thoughts – she had not drunk from him as she had done from Jaegar? And who was this vampire on the loose in Rutherford?
Suddenly, she started. Realization had struck her. If vampires were after her Life's Blood – would they be after Justin, too? She was adopted – Justin was no blood relation – but she couldn't be sure that vampires knew that.
“You will wear that cross, won't you?” she asked, her voice growing in urgency.
“What, you too, sis?” Justin laughed.
“Promise me!” Kalina cried.
“I promise – I promise. Geez...”
“Hey Justin.” Kalina rose with the dirty dishes.
“What?”
“What do you think Mom would say about all this?” Kalina and Justin's parents had been missionaries – their belief in the Catholic supernatural had over the years been influenced by the indigenous beliefs and folk faiths of many of the countries they had visited, where Christianity and ancestral traditions had begun to exist side by side in communities. “God manifests himself in many ways,” they had always said. “The supernatural is part of life – same as bugs and birds and mammals.”
“Mom would tell you to eat your garlic,” said Justin.
“I've been wondering,” Kalina started again. “Why me? I mean – why did they adopt me?”
Justin laughed. “That's a heavy question,” he said. “They didn't tell me – I was nine! All they said was “you're getting a new sister.’” He sighed. “Are you wondering about your birth parents?”
Kalina nodded mutely.
“I'm afraid the record-keeping in Nepalese orphanages isn't exactly....organized,” said Justin. “As far as I know, nobody knew who your parents were.” He coughed. “Birth parents,” he said. “Mom and Dad were our parents.”
“Justin!”
“What?”
“Do you think – you could maybe analyze my blood?”
“Your blood?”
“Just – out of curiosity. If there's something different about it. Maybe...it will give me a clue, where I come from.”
“You mean like an HIV test?”
“Yeah,” said Kalina, glad to find an excuse. “Like an HIV test.”
“The orphanage said you were negative!”
“They also kept my papers on handwritten loose-leaf under a paperweight,” said Kalina. “I just want to be sure. Not just HIV – but...anything, really. If I'm a carrier for genetic illnesses – Stuart and I were talking...”
“I hope you're not thinking about kids yet!” said Justin, his voice growing protective.
“No – just do it, okay?”
“Okay,” Justin nodded. “But just so you know – you're my sister. Regardless of what the blood tests say.”
Kalina nodded. “I know,” she said.
Chapter 7
After dinner Kalina retreated upstairs and took a bath – the first proper bath she had in days. She felt as if she were seeing all the knickknacks and curiosities of her room for the first time, for in the period since her departure she felt that she had been impossibly changed. This was not what the villa had been – the viewless room with the Italian sheets and Octavius' portrait glaring at her from the wall. This was not the cheap one-night motel where she had stayed with Jaegar, where she had succumbed, or almost succumbed – but she could not think of that! She let herself float lightly in the bath, feeling the hot water smooth against her skin, like an embrace. She was at last free of them, free of the emotions that had rollicked and overtaken her in the past few days, since she had first fought with Stuart and crashed her car. Had she acted rightly? Kalina could not decide. She had, she knew, done wrong by involving herself with Jaegar before making her breakup with Stuart official – she knew now that his infidelity with Maeve had been only the product of her own imagination – and yet she would have, given the opportunity, made the situation clear to Stuart, insofar as she was able to reconcile the situation to herself.
What, then, was Kalina to do? What she wished to do, what she would have been at liberty to do (had selfishness permitted it) was to ask patience of Stuart and Jaegar – and Aaron – and that she be allowed to continue seeing all of them, on a casual basis, until she could make her decision! But such an ideal situation for her was impossible for them – her own moral indignity aside, they were brothers, and she could no more “compare” them in a week or two weeks’ time than she could do now – they each satisfied a different part of her. Aaron reminded her of a time when it was acceptable for her to be young and stupid – as much as she, affecting maturity, had not wanted to admit it – when she could revel in being seventeen and foolish and kissing boys beneath the bleachers. But she was so much older now – and Aaron was still seventeen, with all the anger and pluck of that age frozen in time. She remembered the vampire boy she had killed – still eight years old after centuries – and knew Aaron would never grow with her; she was already so much older than he was, for all that he had seen.
And then there was Stuart! She had warmed to him first, because of his silent strength, his maturity. But as she and Jaegar had come to spend time together – after what happened in the hotel, she couldn’t help think of Jaegar. She was intensely drawn to him.
She sighed as she turned off the tap and got out of the bath. She swaddled herself in a towel, shaking out the droplets from her hair onto the floor. The water pooled in tiles.
Wrapped tightly in a bathrobe, she reentered her room. How beautiful it was to be in her own room again – a room into which vampires had to be invited.
And then she noticed one tapping on the windowpanes.
She started. “Jaegar!” She rushed to the window. “What do you think you're doing out there?”
“Just checking on you.” He was hovering midair; the sight unnerved her. “Aaron took the car back to the Winery – he's checking for any of Octavius’ men...”
“And you just wanted to see me bathing?” Somehow it was more difficult to tease him, after everything that had happened between them. The joke fell flat.
“I just wanted to make sure you were safe. The fact that you're in a bathrobe doesn't hurt.” His joke, too, was weak. He peered into the room. “So this is where the princess sleeps.”
“I'm not a princess,” said Kalina automatically.
“You could be,” Jaegar shrugged. “You don't know who your birth parents are. You never know!”
“I seriously doubt I'm a princess,” said Kalina. She opened the window.
“Would you like to invite me in?” Jaegar asked. His face was a mask of smiles.
“Should I?” she considered him. The moonlight had made him more beautiful than ever; she felt that she could not escape the gentle fires of his eyes.
“Perhaps not.” Jaegar grinned at her; her gaze fell upon the sharpness of his teeth. “I like playing hard to get.”
She adopted a sweet voice. “Maybe I just don't want to get you,” said Kalina.
“Ah, well.” Jaegar turned away from her in mock despair. “You would have broken the heart, my dear, of a vampire who has no heart.”
She could not resist him. She took hold of the folds of his leather jacket and pulled him towards her. “Come in, you!”
He was lighter than she expected, almost weightless, and the force of her pull threw her backwards across the room, landing them both on the carpet.
They lay on top of each other in a tangled thud.
“Sorry,” said Jaegar. He was not moving. “When a vampire flies, we're almost weightless. But when you pulled me in like that – gravity took hold.”
His face was inches from her own.
“Not that I mind, of course,” he continued. “I like being this close to you.”
She could feel his skin spark every part of her, rouse her heartbeat to frenzied palpitations; her breath grew shallow under him. It was not only that he was handsome – of course he was handsome, handsome enough to render any girl powerless. But it was a certain look in his eyes, a power in his movements – the unbridled confidence of a vampire who had seen the world and scoffed at it all, that made him truly irresistible. He had seen China and Paris, Renaissance Italy and Revolutionary France, and with all that knowledge he nevertheless had chosen her. He exuded confidence and sexiness.
And then she could not stop what happened next. His mouth was upon hers, boring deep within her, and then his lips were hot at her neck, and his hands were fumbling with her bathrobe. And then they were as they had been days before at the Sunrise Motel, so close to succumbing; his shirt was flung over a chair; his trousers were unzipped; his lips were at her stomach.
“We should...” Stop, she knew, as Jaegar murmured, but despite his protestations he could not remove his lips from her shoulders.
“Jaegar,” she whispered. “What happens if – you know...we do...”
“It?”
“It,” she echoed him.
From his face it was evident that his first thoughts were not of its implications for the legend. “Well,” he said, “you'd lose the ability to give Life's Blood. Your vampire lover would remain a vampire, while you grow old – and die. Unless you were turned...”
Kalina looked at him intently. “And if I didn't have Life's Blood – would I still be...worth it? To you?”
He pressed her palm to his lips. “Of course,” he said. “I don't want you to lose that ability – of course I don't – but it is your choice, Kalina; it makes no difference to this.”
“What if you did turn me?” Kalina said. “Would I lose Life's Blood abilities?”
Jaegar stopped. He pulled away with a sharp jerk. “You want to become a vampire?”
“Maybe,” said Kalina. “I'd fight better – I'd be stronger. I'd be able to protect everyone – Maeve, Justin – who needs protecting. And the other vamps wouldn't be able to use me anymore...”
Jaegar smiled, a smile that turned into a grimace. “You would make that sacrifice...for those you love?” He spoke as if it was still strange to him.
“Of course,” said Kalina.
He shook his head. “I admire it,” he said. “It is honorable – heroic. But I will not participate in it – if you are doing it for another's sake, not for your own. You may be unselfish – but I will not destroy your life, even for the sake of someone else.”
“Growing soft?” Kalina's voice was tender, betraying only the slightest hint of hurt.
“Not soft,” said Jaegar. “But you are different – from other women. Human. Vampire. Believe me, Kalina; I am a stranger to waiting. I have been...successful. And with you, the waiting is harder. But I will not make the choice for you. You must make that choice.”
She sighed. “I'm sorry, Jaegar. I want to – I mean, I really, really want to – but I don't think I'm ready yet. Ready to make a choice. If you are...the one I love – then Life's Blood will turn you. And if you're not...”
Her voice trailed off. She knew what she meant – then we shouldn't be doing this at all – but her body resented her self-control.
“I understand,” said Jaegar, although his face did not mask his disappointment.
“It's not just about the spell, either...” Kalina straightened her bathrobe. “Although – believe me – there's nothing worse than telling a seventeen-year-old that they have to stay a virgin forever.”
Jaegar couldn't help but laugh. “If they'd told me I had Life's Blood when I was seventeen, I would have told the legend-seekers to sod themselves and bedded the first wench I met!”
They were interrupted by the buzzing of Jaegar's phone.
“Speaking of the thirteenth century!” Jaegar laughed. But his face darkened when he heard the voice on the other line. “Yes, yes,” he was saying. “I understand.” He hung up and looked at Kalina. “No word from Stuart,” he said. “Aaron says not a sign. He should have been there by now!”
“Oh, God...” Kalina sighed. “You don't think...”
“I don't know.”
“We have to do something!” Kalina cried.
“What, go back to Octavius? Because that worked so well before!”
His harsh words silenced her.
“I don't know,” said Kalina. “But...something!”
“Stay here,” said Jaegar. “You're safe here. Your brother put holy water around the property. Luckily I was already on the roof when he did so.”
Kalina smiled to herself. So, when he wasn't afraid of being teased by his kid sister, Justin still believed in the power of the unknown.
“How will you get out?”
“Secret passage,” smirked Jaegar. “Jump from your window to the roof, then to a tree branch, then down the tree. My way – don't tell the others.”
“This isn't a time for jokes...”
“You'll stay put? Until you hear from one of us?”
“I'll keep my phone on.”
“Goodnight, my love.” He cupped her face with his hands, leaning in for a final kiss. “Be safe!” And with that he headed into the night.
Chapter 8
When Jaegar had gone, Kalina remained still for a moment, wrapping the bathrobe around her naked body. How close they had come, she thought – how close they had been... she shook her head. There was no use in thinking about it now. Had she not stopped him, in the end...right now, they still would be... No! She got up. She had done rightly; as much as she hated to admit it to her shuddering body she had done rightly. She had been raised Catholic, after all, and if she wasn't going to wait for marriage – even to her this seemed outdated – but then again, maybe waiting until then was a good idea considering how she was so unsure right now, but she would at least wait until she was sure of love. Thinking of Jaegar, she flushed.
She tried to cool her blood. She went over to her drawer and put on the least sexy clothes she could find – an oversized pair of sweats that hung heavily in folds over her slender frame, shrouding her breasts and hips. She couldn't help but laugh to herself as she gazed at herself in the mirror – wearing these ugly clothes, still stinking of Justin's garlic-laden lasagna. She supposed garlic didn't harm vampires nearly as much as Justin supposed it did – Jaegar hadn't even commented on the smell, which she herself could identify as somewhat pungent and unpleasant. Well, maybe it was true love, she thought. Or maybe the smell of her blood was just that overpowering. Or maybe he was just that good a kisser.
She heard a knock at the door, and rounded too guiltily to be entirely nonchalant.
“Oh, Justin,” she breathed. “You scared me!”
“Another call,” he said. “I'm sorry, sis; I know I've been crap this week.”
“No, it's fine...vampires…whatever's out…”
He stopped. “You really think it's vampires?”
“Remember what Mom said.”
“Supernatural, right.” Even through his feigned disbelief Kalina could see her mother's cross around his neck. “Well, if it makes you feel better...” he said, noticing her eyes upon the cross.
Kalina went over to her purse, pulling out one of the stakes she kept there.
Justin's eyes widened. “Kalina – what the...”
Her face was stony, even serious. “You have to go,” she said. “You need to help whoever it was that got attacked. But take this.”
“A stake.”
“Please,” Kalina said. “Don't question me on this.”
Somewhere in Justin's eyes, amid the cloud of disbelief, she saw acceptance.
“Stick it in the heart – all the way. As deep as you can. Hard and fast – that's the best way. At least it will give you a fighting chance.” She demonstrated a stake, in a quick and clean motion. Justin went slack-jawed before her.
“I've watched a lot of vampire movies,” she mumbled, but it was clear Justin didn't believe her.
“Kalina, what are you mixed up in?”
“Just take it, Justin!” She couldn't help snapping at him. Fear made her angry.
“Look, vampires or not – keep the doors locked, okay? And close the windows. Whatever it is out there.”
“Whatever it is.” Her voice was like an echo.
When Justin had at last gone, Kalina breathed a sigh of relief. At last she was alone. There was no Justin – no Aaron, no Stuart, no Jaegar to confuse her thoughts like the pieces of a kaleidoscope, arranging and rearranging them in different combinations. There was only Kalina – alone, herself – free at last to sit and think, or better still, to not think about it. The pressure of her romantic decision weighed heavily on her mind, as did the promise of Life's Blood – and the many implications that it entailed.
She went to her desk drawer and took out Aaron's journal – looking for clues, looking for a sign. He had written about Octavius – with such kindness, such love – how could this be the same Octavius who had betrayed him? She scanned the pages she had remembered – yes, it was Octavius he had described. He was their maker – more than that, he was their friend. The vampire that had turned them. The vampire that had cared for them.
It seemed that Octavius had been close to the brothers, served as a kind of uncle and mentor – until she had come along, and their relationship had been destroyed because of her Life's Blood. She couldn't help feeling a twinge of guilt. Had it not been for her, and her passions, perhaps they would have remained friends – brother with brother, maker with made.
She thought of Octavius. He was so terrifying, so powerful, and yet somewhere within herself she felt that she understood him. He was a general, a soldier. He could not be seen to be weak; he was used to destroying those who defied him, lest he gain a reputation for softness, and be himself destroyed by another vampire clan.
Men. Kalina could have laughed. Always fighting – always scrambling – always bamboozled by the presence of women.
She read onwards, to a passage entitled “Life's Blood.” Here was something interesting, she thought. Here was, perhaps, a hint.
Life's Blood is one of the rarest and most valued of all types, although veracity of the myth is disputed. Rumored to be the product of the experimentations of a Chinese scientist, c. Ming dynasty. Scientist said to have died before completion of experimental blood formula (note: some sources suggest he was murdered, other sources suggest the blood itself killed him; Stokers Historia Vampiris suggests he died of natural causes), but his work continued by daughter, unnamed. Daughter said to have injected herself with Life's Blood, began selling to vampires - until she too fell in love with a vampire, also unnamed in many sources. Some sources call him “Francois” - others “Edouard” - historicity debatable. Their lineage was the only recorded note of half-human, half-vampires; their descendants are the carriers of Life's Blood. Reported sightings of Life's Blood: Matilde D'Arnay, 1289 (unconfirmed), Isabella di Moriano (1567 – said to have turned the vampire “Lorenzo di Moneglia”), Johanna Geltwerlt, (1868, Berlin. Said to have been murdered by the vampire “Malvolio”).
So there were others like her – Kalina thought. That meant she wasn't so special after all. And if Life's Blood was a formula – well, surely it could be replicated! Justin was a man of science, after all...a hemotologist at that!
Lost in thought, Kalina gradually drifted off to sleep. She was awakened by a sharp tapping at the door. Was it Jaegar? Back with news! She shot up and rushed to the window. “Jaegar!” she called.
She saw nobody out the window – only a dark shadow fleeting as it turned around a corner.
“Jaegar?”
Suddenly, the door to Kalina's bedroom swung opened. Standing in the frame was a man dressed in a utility outfit – the kind repairmen wear. But his face was unmistakable – vampire. He must have tricked Justin into...
She lunged for her stake; he lunged towards her, his fangs bared with rage.
“Help!” she called out to Jaegar, dodging each attack as the vampire came closer and closer. “Come in – come in and help me!”
The window shattered as a figure forced its way through the panes. In a matter of seconds, the blurred figure had taken hold of the vampire and driven a stake through his heart.
“Oh, Jaegar,” cried Kalina. “Thank God...” She stopped as a pair of large hands wrapped themselves around hers. They weren't Jaegar's hands.
She recognized that same sweet, musky smell, that same powerful and broad chest crushing her against it. Octavius.
“You do smell nice,” he said, burying his nose in her hair. “I believe, Miss Kalina, that you're trying to seduce me.”
“I'm wearing sweatpants and I smell like garlic,” said Kalina, her voice acrid despite her terror.
“I can only smell your blood, my dear. And it is sweeter than wine – let me tell you that. Sweeter than wine. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since...”
“Where's Stuart?” Kalina was in no mood for romantic pleasantries.
“Stuart – and Jaegar – are with me. I have upgraded their rooms, however. They're in lovely guest rooms – with feeders, vampire wines, soft sheets...all the amenities you'd expect from a top-class establishment. Excepting, of course, a view.”
“Okay...” Kalina was waiting for the catch.
“We have come to an agreement,” said Octavius, smiling broadly. “All of us. I daresay they weren't quite – vociferous in their agreement – but what choice did they have? They are, after all...guests in my house.”
“Haven't you ever heard of hospitality?”
“Oh, I can be hospitable,” said Octavius. “To you – I intend to be enormously hospitable.”
“What – try to capture me again?”
“Kalina, please!” Octavius looked offended. “You clearly aren't sure of your love for any of the other vampires – boys, all three. So perhaps there is still a chance for another vampire to win your heart. I refer of course to myself. And I would like a week of your time to make your choice that much easier. No compulsion – boys' tricks. No captivity. Simply...polite conversation. Getting to know one another. And, in case you try to escape – three beloved vampires locked in three, perfectly pleasant, guest rooms downstairs.”
Chapter 9
Kalina could not help stopping and staring. Could Octavius really have the audacity to try again? After all he had done – he was still standing before her, staring at her with those blazing eyes, that piercing gaze, asking her to love him – no, demanding it of her. Olive had told Kalina that Octavius was irresistible, that there was not a woman alive or undead who could look at him and not succumb. He stood tall before her – all six foot seven of him – clad in a cashmere turtleneck that only emphasized the taut muscles rippling beneath the wool. His hair was down to his shoulders; his olive eyes stared out at her from behind his thick lashes. He was magnificent, and she found herself thinking about the last time he kissed her.
“Seriously?” was all that Kalina could say.
“Seriously,” said Octavius, raising an eyebrow. She knew better than to doubt him. Octavius’ eyes were full of cold sincerity.
“Just a week?” Kalina tried to hedge. “To give you a chance – to see if you're the one? After you’ve imprisoned my friends – threatened my life – how stupid do you think I am?”
“You may think me untrustworthy,” said Octavius. He began pacing around her, skulking like a cat. “That is not in fact the case. I believe in honor, Kalina. And from my perspective, it is the Greystone brothers who ought not to be trusted. I have every right to be angry at them. They were my men – my soldiers – my comrades – and they failed to follow orders. Aaron betrayed me; he disobeyed a direct command from a superior – betrayed my trust, and brought Stuart and Jaegar along with him into this traitors' tangle. For centuries Stuart and Jaegar served alongside me – through a number of battles. We fought together. We saw vampires turn to dust before our eyes. One does not disregard a commanding officer. We protected each other – Stuart and Jaegar and I – and I watched over Aaron, too, in a manner of a godfather, although he was never a soldier; Aaron was always a wine-maker. But Aaron was one of my men; he was bound to me – for I was his maker. Had he brought you to me, I would not have harmed you. Why would I? I have no interest whatsoever in harming you.” He paused, eyes softening, suddenly looking more human and vulnerable than before. “You were right about me, Kalina…about wanting to become human. I’ve walked this earth for thousands of years wanting a chance to love…only to outlive everyone.”
“This is…crazy. I mean you’re the one I’ve been running from. You’re dark, dangerous, and everything I should be wary of,” said Kalina. She felt the stirring of attraction within her. “For one thing, you're much older than I am.”
“Yes and no,” said Octavius. “As a vampire, I am older than most – but I was only twenty-seven when I was turned. If this disturbs you, I am happy to wait – until you are older. I have, you see, all the time in the world.” He flashed a set of sharp teeth at her. “Or I could court you now. If you are in fact the one I seek, time is...immaterial. If you are not – well, you will find yourself growing older, growing wiser, more mature, while those three vampire brothers remain stuck in their immaturity, their youth.”
“And when I'm thirty, won't I be older than you?” Kalina shot back; Octavius gave her a slow smile.
“If you choose against me,” said Octavius, “I am powerless to stop you. Go to Stuart – to Aaron – to Jaegar, whichever one of them you choose. You will turn them human, for I doubt you could bear them to remain a vampire while you age. But...just in case – I am giving you an opportunity. An opportunity to choose differently. We must give Life's Blood a chance, no? For it to work, to turn me human again.” Octavius took a step forward. “From the time I was just turned,” he said, “I have known of Life's Blood. I have sought the carrier...I did not want to become a vampire.”
“Because of Drusilla?”
“Because I wanted it!” Octavius’ voice grew hot with anger. “It was only with Aaron's particular skill that I was able to locate such a carrier. And I never imagined, yes – if you wish to point it out – that she would remind me so much, in her eyes, her voice, her intelligence, of a woman I once loved.”
“Why should I do this?” Kalina felt her resistance buckling.
“You do not yet know,” said Octavius, “whom you love. And I have a feeling you would want to make sure – before you give up your blood to a vampire, yourself to a man. You want to find out who you are, don't you? The origin of your powers – the source of your blood? And I, I am proud to say, am the vampire capable of helping you discover all this. I have the knowledge of Life's Blood. I have the maturity – the wisdom – the strength to keep you safe. And I have the resources to help you find answers.”
He stiffened.
“I am an honorable vampire,” said Octavius. “And I will make this agreement with you. If you refuse me by the end of the week, I shall release you – along with all three brothers. If you accept me, however, I shall release all three brothers – with a reward for their good service – and keep you...for as long as you wish to stay. The rest shall be what we make of it.” He grinned at her.
“And if I refuse to go?”
“Ah,” said Octavius, sighing heavily. “I don't know how long I shall keep the vampires – the brothers. But those are not the consequences you should worry about. Now that word of your blood has gotten out, your town will continue to attract vampires – those that wish to taste your blood for themselves, or those clever to sell it to those who would want such a taste. That is not in my interest. I want a real life – between you and me – I want a woman, a family. For all my Roman life, my human life, and now all this strange half-life, I have been a soldier. I am strong enough to resist the evil in your blood, should it come to that; I have no interest in the powers that you would bring to a vampire you did not love. I am stronger than any of the Greystone brothers – than Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron combined. And I know what they say of Life's Blood carriers. They are destined, always, to love a vampire.”
He stepped closer to her, and at once Kalina was consciously – ecstatically – aware of his fingertips brushing her cheek.
She forced herself to step away.
“And how do I know that the Greystone brothers – how do I know they're alright?”
“Well,” said Octavius, “I have thought of that contingency. Could I trouble you for the use of your computer?”
“What?”
“Humor me.”
Kalina slid over her laptop; Octavius took it and began typing into the web browser. “A pass-word protected website linked to the security cameras in my house,” said Octavius. “For security reasons.”
He handed her back the laptop. On the screen she could see Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron, all pacing a perfectly spacious – perfectly acceptable – guest room, with three large beds and large shelves stacked with vampire wine.
“How do I know this is real?”
“Take out your phone and call Aaron.”
She pressed a “1” into speed-dial. She hadn't been able to remove it, even when she thought him dead. The phone rang for a few minutes; she could see Aaron start in the video, and pick up the phone.
Octavius took the telephone from her. “Hello Aaron,” said Octavius. “Would you wave to the camera, Aaron?” Aaron smiled broadly and waved on the monitor; Kalina felt her heart sink. They seemed awfully happy to be cooperating.
“Talk to Kalina, Aaron,” Octavius handed the phone back over to her.
“Aaron – what's going on?”
“Look, Kal...”
“We just spent hours getting away from this guy – you just staked about twenty vamps getting me away from there – and now you want to hand me over to Octavius? You'd better start explaining, like, right now.”
She could see his face fall on the monitor.
“Listen, Kal,” said Aaron. “We all love you – you know that. But he had Stuart – and this is the only way. You've...you've torn our family apart; we've fought over you so much we've almost lost the brotherly bond that kept us together.”
“That's not my...” Kalina began, but Aaron kept talking.
“You need to pick one of us – and Octavius isn't going to hurt you.”
Octavius corroborated this with a nod.
“Jaegar and I had a fight after we dropped you off, before he went to see you. And we realized our rivalry almost let us get Stuart killed...and Octavius came for us and...convinced us this was a reasonable solution.”
There was something robotic in his voice. Had Octavius used compulsion?
“Let me talk to Stuart.” He's the sanest one, she said to herself.
Aaron passed the telephone to Stuart, who was reclining nearby on a chaise.
“Kalina!” She had forgotten how good Stuart's voice sounded. “I miss you – are you okay?”
“Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on?”
“Octavius, is he...”
“He's been a perfect gentleman. For now.”
“I'm sorry I couldn't get back,” said Stuart. “I tried – I did – I was outnumbered. You know...you know how much I love you...”
“Stuart,” said Kalina. “Listen to me – am I safe?”
Octavius gave her a look of wry amusement.
Stuart considered. “Yes,” he said at last. “Octavius is a man of his word. If you do not cross him...you will not be sorry.” His voice was sincere – she could tell compulsion had not been used upon him. “I cannot speak ill of my maker. I am bound to him. We are...fortunate Octavius has forgiven our betrayal. He does not wish to destroy us; it is always hard, for a vampire to kill his progeny. It was wrong of us to defy him.”
“What?”
“It is evident – with what happened with Jaegar, with what happened with Maeve – that we were not...as happy as I thought we were. I can lay no claim to you. I know how my feeding off her hurt you – it couldn't be helped.”
The pain was palpable in his voice.
“Perhaps it is better this way,” he said. “Octavius will not hurt you. He will not force you to do anything against your will.”
She could hear what he did not say – Octavius has never had to make a girl do anything against her will.
“It is your choice, Kalina,” he said. “I will not stand in your way.”
“I need to talk to Jaegar now,” she said, and flinched when she saw the pain, the jealousy in his eyes. How she wished she could erase it. “Just to talk,” she said. “It doesn't mean anything.”
Stuart grudgingly passed the phone over.
“How's my girl?” Even in captivity Jaegar seemed confident. Kalina felt herself melt a bit at his words.
“Jaegar, why is everyone so okay with this? Please tell me...”
“We're not okay with this!” Jaegar shot back. Finally, some sanity. “You think it doesn't kill us – all of us – knowing you'll be with Octavius? I've known him for centuries, and there isn't a woman that refused him...”
“Then why?”
“Well, for starters, we're in captivity,” Jaegar grimaced. “And you know as well as we do – you need time away from us, anyway. We're a seductive bunch,” he laughed. “But apparently not seductive enough. If you still want us, after – I trust Octavius – he'll let you free. And it's not safe for you out there. Octavius has soldiers – he has men – he won't drain you for money...”
She could see the resignation in his eyes. This decision had been hard for him.
“It's your safety that matters, Kalina. Not who gets the girl.”
Kalina felt hot tears flowing down her cheeks. “All of you,” she said “I don't deserve any of you – I...I love you all!”
“Aye, there's the rub,” said Jaegar with a wry grin, as he hung up the phone. For an instant she could see those three beautiful faces staring at her from the computer screen; she bit back the tears and handed the laptop to Octavius.
“Fine,” she said. “You win. You can court me – but no guarantees. And I want one thing.”
“What's that?”
“Vampire's honor. No compulsion. No trickery. No magic. I'll let you protect me, if that's what you want, and I'll let you try – but mind-controlling stuff.”
“Naturally,” said Octavius. “I am a romantic at heart. I will tell you nothing but the truth; I promise you that.” He went over to the window.
“What are you doing?”
“Your brother will be back soon,” said Octavius. “I doubt he would take kindly to a strange vampire in your bedroom. I will return tomorrow night”
The second one tonight, thought Kalina, as he vanished. She was not sorry to see him go – and yet when he had gone she felt a strange, pulling emptiness within her body, a hollow desire for those almond-shaped eyes, those broad shoulders.
She curled into bed, alone at last. Perhaps – just perhaps – it was all a dream...
Chapter 10
The next day at school seemed to pass in something of a blur. Kalina found that she couldn't concentrate on anything, so lost was she in her memories of the night before. Had Octavius really come to her – really offered himself to her? Was she his invited guest – or his prisoner? The behaviors of Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron on the video monitor had seemed so strange to her. They had loved her – she knew that they had loved her – and yet nevertheless they had agreed to let Octavius take her without complaining. If she accepted. Kalina thought back over her conversation with Octavius, his slow, smooth, flirtations, and tried to remember whether she had in fact accepted – and why she had done so. Octavius was holding the Greystone brothers prisoner, after all. And he had promised her their release – vampire's honor. They seemed to trust him, all three brothers, despite what had happened earlier at Octavius’ villa. They had risked their lives for Kalina before; she felt confident that not one of them would lie, would endanger her just to save their own fangs. And yet Octavius could have used compulsion on them – surely? And yet...if Octavius truly wanted her, if he wanted to suck her blood and drain her dry, he wouldn't have had to convince her. He could just have kidnapped her. Kalina hated to admit it, but Octavius was much – much – stronger than she was. All her skill with a stake was good enough to stave off ordinary vampires, but Octavius was in his strength and beauty seemingly a different creature entirely.
Kalina dreamed her way through math class, lost in thought – lost in her reveries. She leaned her head upon her hand, pondering the situation. She closed her eyes, only for a moment, and instead of calculus notes and limits before her, she saw the face of the four vampires who had, one after another, come into her life – kissed her and left her changed. Stuart – so handsome, clean-cut, mature, wise and yet not exciting – Aaron, youthful and impetuous – Jaegar, wry and gleefully anarchic...and now Octavius. His eyes were sultry and full of fire; even when she closed her eyes, miles from his gaze, she felt his powerful stare still upon her body, wrapping over her curves....
“Kalina!” Her math teacher was rapping on the board. “Did you hear me?”
She jolted herself into paying attention. “Yeah,” she said, with unconvincing perkiness. “Sure.”
“Well?” He didn't look too pleased. Kalina's face fell.
“Sorry,” she said. “I zoned out there for a moment.”
“Senioritis, Kalina?” Mr. Malick looked down his glasses at her. “Just because you've submitted your Yale application doesn't mean you're done with school – or too good for the classroom!”
The room vibrated with titters. Kalina flushed hot. She had been teased by plenty of girls already for her first-choice of college – that she thought she was “above” the West Coast, that she thought she was better than them, that she didn't have a chance of getting in, anyway – and the reminder stung.
If I even get to college, she thought. She had sent off her college applications the week before meeting Stuart and Jaegar, and hadn't even thought about them since, so overwhelmed had she been with her new life. It was now December – almost time for winter break – and she was due to hear back from her early-decision choices any day now...
And she hadn't even thought about it. Her blush turned even redder.
She sought out Maeve after math class. She realized that she hadn't even spoken to her best friend since that night she had exploded in anger, when she had seen Maeve and Stuart together – Stuart had been drinking Maeve's blood for medicinal reasons – and despite herself she had lost her temper. She hadn't even been to school since...
It was a good thing she had good grades, Kalina thought. Because otherwise, she would be a high-school dropout right about now.
“Hey,” Kalina gave Maeve an awkward wave when she ran into her in the locker room.
“Hey.” Maeve straightened up.
“I just wanted to say...”
“Yeah?” Maeve put her hands on her hips.
“I'm sorry, okay?” Kalina sighed. “Look – I overreacted.”
“You should be,” said Maeve, and Kalina's face fell. “What kind of friend would I be if I did that? I’m not into Stuart like that whatsoever – and considering I was doing you a favor by giving up my blood for that...that...vampire!”
“I said I was...”
“I mean, God, Kalina! All you ever seem to think about these days is you – your boyfriend (or boyfriends, I don't even know. Your romances. And some of us are literally giving blood to help you out – and then you totally screw us over.”
Maeve's face was a picture of fury.
“You're absolutely right,” said Kalina. This stopped Maeve in her tracks. “I know. I know everything you say is true.”
“Oh...” Maeve wasn't sure what to say next.
“I've been selfish, and self-obsessed, and I'm sorry. I've been so overwhelmed by all this...” she dropped her voice to a whisper. “Vampire stuff that I haven't seen clearly lately. I haven't seen who my true friends are. I've got....I've got myself into a bit of a romantic muddle. I think Stuart and I broke up, but I'm not sure.”
“I'm sorry,” said Maeve automatically. Even after their fight, it was clear to Kalina that Maeve wasn't about to stop being her best friend anytime soon.
“No, that's no excuse,” said Kalina. “It's...it's complicated. But I promise – from now on, I'm a friend first, and a girlfriend second.”
“Promise?” said Maeve in a small voice. Her anger abated, it was clear from her face that she wanted to be friends again.
“Promise,” said Kalina.
“Well, if you promise...” Maeve held out her hand; Kalina squeezed it.
“Oh, come on...” And then the two girls enveloped each other in a tight hug.
“I am going to be away for a while, though,” said Kalina. “So I wanted to say goodbye. Just for a week. I'm...going on winter break a week early.”
“And Principal Barton is cool with that?”
Kalina flushed. She hadn't even thought of that.
“Yeah,” she said. “After what happened to Aaron – he's been really...supportive of me.” She hated lying to Maeve – about Aaron as about everything else – but there just didn't seem to be enough time to explain everything properly.
“You going with Justin?”
“No – no!” Oh, crap, how was she going to explain this to Justin? She mentally made a note to tell him that Stuart and Aaron's parents had invited them to their ski chalet over in Aspen. “With...a guy.”
“Another guy?”
“It's complicated. He's a vampire too – kind of like Stuart's boss?”
“His boss? Stuart's cool with this?”
“It's complicated,” said Kalina lamely. “Really – I'll tell you all of it when I come back. It's...just really complicated.”
Maeve gave a little laugh, but looked concerned. “Okay,” she said. “But take care of yourself, alright?”
“Yeah, I will.”
They hugged once more and then they parted. On her way through the hall, Kalina ran straight into Principal Barton.
“Kalina!” His face opened into a broad smile. “I'm sorry to hear you missed a week of school – but I must say, the administration is so proud of you.”
“...What?”
“Why didn't you tell us you were taking the training test?”
“...erm...”
“For the Math Olympiad at the Villa Octavio – in Italy.”
Villa Octavio?
“I'm surprised you've heard of it,” said Kalina.
His brows furrowed. “That's funny...” he said. “I can't recall...I can't remember where I...but I am so pleased! We thought you might have been ill, what with your...rough year – but training in secret for an International Olympiad? I shall make a note of that when I send my end-of-term recommendations along to Yale...”
Kalina looked more closely. His eyes bore the familiar glassy sheen of compulsion.
“I hope to do you proud,” she said, swallowing hard, before heading out to her next class.
By the end of the day, Kalina found that her stomach felt as if it had been turned inside out. Her nerves were frayed like electric cords, and the pounding in her heart refused to abate as she opened her front door. She found it unlocked.
“Hello?” she called.
Octavius greeted her with a grin.
She froze. “Where's...”
“Justin's fine.” Octavius smiled. “He left you a note. He's gone to a medical conference in Pasadena. For a week. Apparently, his employer at the hospital suddenly realized – all at once – that Justin's participation was essential to the success of the conference, and that furthermore such participation is well placed to gain Justin a more prestigious residency at the end of his internship...”
“Suddenly, huh?”
“It is a great career move for your brother.”
“Right,” said Kalina, unsure of how to feel. “Thanks.” She sighed. “And I take it I'll be doing lots of math on this trip?”
Octavius smiled. “If you like,” he said. “I have a bit more fun in mind. However, I'd advise you to take your schoolbooks and homework nonetheless. If you've applied early to Yale, you'll want to keep your grades up!”
“How do you know about that?”
Octavius shrugged. “I have ways.”
“You didn't – you didn't use compulsion on the admissions people, did you?”
“I doubt I'll need to,” said Octavius. “I took a look at your transcript while in Principal Barton's office. Apparently you have some of the best grades the school has seen in years. You won't need my help. Although I'd advise you to leave the school altogether for your final semester.”
“Why?”
“You want to be a history major, don't you?”
Kalina nodded slowly.
“Well, what better way to learn than by private tutor – vampires who have lived through the very eras you have studied! Greeks who did mathematics with Euclid. Romans who were with Virgil when he wrote The Aeneid. Renaissance men who saw the art of Florence when it was first painted.”
Even Kalina could not deny that this was exciting.
He led her into the living room, where a suitcase lay open, clothes neatly folded inside. “I took the liberty of purchasing you some clothes. They may fit you more...fashionably where we are going. I have gotten good at guessing your size – you share with Olive, no? Olive, incidentally, has gone home to Cedar Rapids. She...took her departure well.”
Kalina took a look. Inside the suitcase were some of the most beautiful clothes she'd seen – elegant linen jackets and white dresses, stunning long ball gowns and fur coats.
“Where are we going?”
Octavius looked at her. “Italy,” he said lightly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Chapter 11
Rome was the most beautiful place Kalina had ever seen. From the moment that she arrived with Octavius in the center of the historic city – where the salmon-colored buildings and golden palazzos and cobblestone streets all vied with each other for her attention – she felt as if she were living not merely in another country, but another century. Although it was winter there, and a light mist of fog clouded them (all the better, Octavius had said, for although he could withstand the sun he found it nonetheless vaguely uncomfortable in the heat of summer), the bright lights and colors of the city nevertheless shone through. Octavius strolled with Kalina on his arm through the whole city – the Baroque facades in Piazza Navona, where Kalina gasped and covered her mouth at the sight of the Bernini statues, the awe-inspiring St. Peter's Basilica (Octavius tactfully remained outside; even as a powerful vampire, he was unable to physically enter Vatican City), and the Roman Forum. It was this last sight that brought Octavius into morose silence, and while Kalina traipsed from broken column to broken column, Octavius remained grim, shadows darkening his marble face. Was he thinking of the home he had lost – Kalina wondered? The land he had left behind, although he stood physically on the same ground?
Octavius’ villa overlooked the Villa Borghese, the leafy gardens that had once belonged to one of Rome's most powerful families, perched with a panoramic view of the city at the top of the Spanish steps. Octavius gave her a guest room down the hall from his own and, in a supreme gesture of confidence, gave her the only key. “I want you to know,” he said, “that my intentions are highly honorable.”
From the moment they touched ground in Italy, Octavius had seemed like a different man altogether. His serious, military bearing – his cruelty – had vanished. It was clear to Kalina that Octavius was home again, in a home that he loved, and that he no longer had any need of the harsh tactics he had displayed earlier.
“I do not love violence,” he said, as they sat their first evening on the balcony, with Rome glimmering in the moonlight at their feet. “But I see why it is necessary. Vampires, especially. We are a dangerous race. And those of us who are strong...it falls to us to solidify our power, if we are honorable – for if we do not, who might rule in our stead?”
“But isn't that the argument of every dictator? Every mass murderer?” Kalina shot back. “We're doing it for the common good. How do you know you're sincere?”
Octavius threw up his hands. “Ah, my girl,” he said. “You have me there – I don't. I know only that I have not yet drunk your blood, because I wish to become human one day. And you know I am an honorable vampire – for I have thus far kept to my word.”
“You used compulsion – not on me, but on my friends, my brother's boss.”
“The means to an end.”
“Does the end justify the means?”
Octavius sighed. “Only time will tell, Kalina,” he said, his eyes staring out onto the horizon. “Only time will tell.”
Time did tell, in a way. Kalina found that by their third day together, she had ceased to treat him with the mix of wariness and contempt that she had found necessary earlier. He behaved with utmost chivalry in every regard – restraining himself physically from all contact, even the kisses on the cheek with which he greeted male and female visitors alike. He allowed her to retire to bed at her leisure, and did not wake her, even when the moon was high in the sky above them. He made suggestions for outings – an evening dessert at the opulent Cafe Greco, where Baudelaire had once dined, and evening wanderings in the Medieval district of Trastevere – but acquiesced readily when Kalina shot back with her own requests. He stood patiently outside while she visited some of the city's more famous churches.
“I do regret,” he said, as she exited S. Michel, home to one of the most famous Caravaggio paintings, “that I cannot see some of the greatest works of art, due to my...condition.”
“So only Father Botticelli could enter a church.”
“He is a lucky vampire,” said Octavius. “That is the first thing I wish to do when I become human. I wish to enter a church in Rome – the Vatican, let us say – and gaze upon all the paintings inside. Gaze upon the face of the Sistine Chapel.”
“You were born in the time of Christianity, right?”
“It was a rising sect when I was a man,” said Octavius.
Octavius shook his head. “The religion of the Romans allowed for all manner of creations – gods and demi-gods, satyrs, nymphs, half-men, giants...the divide between human and divine was bridged by all number of creations. But with Christianity, there is a clearer division. There is the mortal, and there is the divine, and none but your Christ has bridged the gap between the two of us. Thus are we vampires anathema to your creed – for we exist, essentially, in a gap that does not exist. The very consecrated ground of a church denies us entry. It destroys us.”
“Does that mean Christianity is real, you think?” Kalina wondered aloud. Certainly, she had found all this confusion with vampires to be very trying to her faith.
“It means,” said Octavius, “that many people believe in it – and that belief is very strong. Beyond this I do not know.”
By the third night, they walked together in the ruins of the Baths of Caracalla, and Kalina even consented to take his arm. She felt his presence powerful beside her, a strength she found – if not desirable – than nevertheless without realizing it a part of herself.
“Being a vampire,” Octavius was saying, “does not mean sacrificing one's humanity – not entirely. Qualities like decency, like loyalty, honor are highly valued – mercy less so, for otherwise we would not survive.”
“How can you live without mercy?” said Kalina, thinking of how harshly he had treated the Greystone brothers for defying him.
“I do what I must,” said Octavius. “I do have a code of honor. I do not believe in the turning of children – I believe you have encountered some vampire children in your adventures.”
“Yes.”
“It is abhorrent – I do not turn the unwilling. I do not turn those who will never get a chance to grow into something like maturity. Even Aaron – I would not have turned him, had his mother not begged me to. Marilee. She had tried to turn Aaron, but lacked the strength – she had drained him, nearly dry, nearly to death, but her blood – as a recently-turned vampire herself – was not enough to turn him. I stepped in to save him.”
“Marilee,” Kalina remembered that name. The first time she had met Stuart and Jaegar, they had been arguing about a “Marilee.”
“Yes – a good woman. Beloved of your friends' father, Gerard. And, it is rumored, of Stuart and Jaegar as well. Before their murder.”
“Murder?”
“Yes, both of them.” Octavius sighed. “Not a pretty subject. Let us continue on.”
They continued wandering through the ruins.
As they walked and talked, Kalina felt more alive than she had in weeks – cloistered in dark rooms with stakes and holy water, terrified of being eaten whole at any moment, terrified of her thoughts, her feelings. Unlike Jaegar, Stuart, and Aaron, Octavius did not pressure her – did not demand her love or require that she declare her feelings right away. He had made his intentions clear, but beyond that he seemed to be courting her as much as a friend as a lover; he was kind and romantic without his affection ever seeming cloying.
Funny, she thought to herself as they walked. He might have kidnapped her – in a manner of speaking – but she felt freer with him than she had in weeks of Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron fighting over her. She mentally compared the brothers' attitude on the video monitor – so anxious to protect her that they had forgotten her right to protect herself – with Octavius’ skillful diplomacy, his desire to protect her nevertheless restrained by his respect for her autonomy. He even allowed her full liberty to go out alone during the day - “you're my guest,” he said – although he none-too-subtly left a stake on the hallway side table.
She refused to admit any attraction to herself, but at last she conceded that, as far as vampires went, Octavius really wasn't so bad.
That night – it was really early morning, nearly dawn, by the time she got to be – she slept deeply, curled into a mass of satin sheets. In her dream she was wandering a luxurious garden, trailing with bougainvillea flowers and orange-blossoms, the scent of citrus sweet upon the air. The sun was strong and white all around her.
Kalina. It was Octavius’ voice. She looked down to discover that she was dressed in the finest white satin, spilling down from the curve of her breasts to the end of her ankles. Can you hear me?
I can hear you.
This didn't feel like a dream. It felt more vibrant, somehow – more real.
What is this? She looked up, but could see nobody there.
We are linked now, said Octavius. Linked in our minds.
Vampires know telepathy?
Only the strongest, said Octavius. Jaegar – sometimes. But I use it far more. I find it a more respectful manner of using my powers than compulsion. You look beautiful, by the way.
Kalina blushed.
May I come in?
So, vampires needed invitations to enter dreams, too.
Kalina smiled. Perhaps tomorrow night, Octavius.
As you wish.
She woke with a start, curled about her pillow. Twilight was flooding in through the window. At breakfast – served just as the sun was setting over Trastevere – she asked Octavius about the dream.
“Yes,” he said. “I'd hoped you'd hear me.”
“I didn't know vampires could do that.”
“I apologize for intruding.”
Kalina smiled. “It's okay – I didn't have to let you in!”
“I must say,” he said slowly. “I am surprised.”
“Why is that?”
“I have...never dreamwalked with a human before. Only with vampires.”
“Why not?”
“Vampires and humans have different brainwaves – that is to say, humans have brainwaves. Vampires don't. But with you – it's different. I've heard of this connection being made before – but it is rare.” He sighed deeply. “Very rare.”
Kalina sipped her tea. “What does it mean?”
Octavius laughed darkly to himself. “If I didn't know better, I'd say...” His voice trailed off; his smile vanished.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said, and Kalina thought she could detect a spot of color at his cheeks. “Nothing at all.”
Chapter 12
Later that evening, Octavius announced to Kalina that he would have to leave her alone for a while, that he had some business to attend to and that it was necessary for her to remain inside. It seemed uncharacteristic of Octavius, who had previously been so careful to allow her to preserve her autonomy under their arrangement, that she immediately asked what it was about.
“There is a vampire consortium in Rome that requests my presence,” said Octavius. “For obvious reasons, I don't feel comfortable bringing you into a den of vampires.”
“But they're your friends, surely?”
“Friends. Companions. Trusted colleagues. But also vampires.” He sighed. “And you are safest here...”
“Technically, I'm safest in Vatican City,” said Kalina. She wasn't going to let him be so evasive that easily. “Not one vampire can get in there.”
Octavius conceded the point.
“Besides, I want to go with you.” Kalina stood up. “I want to meet other vampires – are these as old as you are?”
“Mostly Renaissance vampires – Florentine, Venetian, Genoan. Some older than I – one or two.”
“Is this meeting about Life's Blood?”
Octavius nodded. “The other vampires have cottoned onto the fact I am holding you. They will allow me to keep you – but it will be costly.”
“Keep me?” Kalina exploded with rage. “Costly?”
Octavius sighed. “Please, it is vampire politics. Do not take anything personal by it.”
“By the fact you're buying me?”
“I am...” Octavius sighed. “I am arranging a treaty.”
“And I suppose I don't get a say in it.”
“In the eyes of other vampires, I'm afraid you don't.”
“How much are you paying?”
“Half my fortune. In return, no vampire in Europe or America with any allegiance to the Consortium – anyone, in essence, that knows what's good for them – will harm you or make any effort to take your blood. And – this may actually intrigue you – the Consortium will promise its full powers to protect you from any...rogues.”
“Let me guess – if you fail to pay up, I'll conveniently wind up drained in some alley somewhere.”
Octavius nodded.
“I'm touched – I guess.” Kalina put her hands on her hips. “On one condition. I want to go to this meeting – and sign the treaty myself. I agree to protection; I agree to serve you or be yours or whatever – but I want to be at this meeting.”
“Kalina, I don't think that's a very....”
“You don't get to buy me,” said Kalina, squarely. “And if these vampires can't be trusted to keep their fangs off me at a meeting, what makes you think they won't suck me dry after you pay a few million euros.”
“Billion,” said Octavius.
She almost spit out her tea.
In the end, Octavius agreed to Kalina's demands, conceding that they were sensible – if not entirely wise. He dressed her in what he deemed appropriate vampire attire – a high-necked black gown that reminded her of portraits she had seen of nineteenth-century maidens – and together they sped out into the night.
The meeting was held in the Palazzo Sticci – a Baroque palace right in the center of the city. Octavius spoke a password – some quickly-muttered Latin Kalina couldn't make out – to the sentry at the gate. They were escorted through the gardens, up the marble staircase. Kalina was amazed at the opulence of the place – even compared to Octavius’ villa. Red velvet curtains hung down from the windows; shimmering candelabras lent flickering lights to the shadows in corners. Portraits of what she could only assume were famous vampires hung upon the walls, staring her down. She held more tightly onto Octavius’ arm, and began to feel a little afraid.
They were escorted into a large chamber – clearly a converted ballroom – where five vampires, three men and two women, sat on varying sofas. They were the most beautiful beings Kalina had ever seen – with glimmering fine white skin and long, lustrous hair, and smiles that betrayed their inner confidence and power. Kalina looked down at her dress, which seemed so shabby in comparison, and blushed.
“Octavio!” A clear voice rang out from one of the women, who swooped over to embrace him.
“Maria!” He greeted them all in turn by name, as much for Kalina's benefit as for anything. “Constanza! Donatello! Lorenzo! Sandro!”
They kissed him on both cheeks, one after the other.
“What have we here?” The vampire called Maria approached Kalina, looking her up and down with an unsettling lick of her lips.
“I'm Kalina,” she said quickly. “I'm Octavius’...ward.”
“His ward, eh?” She raised an eyebrow. “She smells...distinctive, Octavius. Far more interesting than Olivia. Is she the...”
“She is the Life's Blood,” said Octavius tersely.
“Your boyfriend has expensive tastes,” said Maria. “But a treaty is a treaty. Some say that Life's Blood is priceless, Kalina. But we at the Consortium know the violence such a thing engenders. And I think we would all, when it comes to it, rather have ten thousand years to spend your boyfriend's money than risk dying altogether in all-out war. You see, vampires are very civilized creatures.”
“I can see that,” said Kalina.
“That said,” said Maria. “I think it fair to inform you that there has been another offer put in for the Life's Blood.”
Octavius stiffened.
“Malvolio has made it clear that he is interested...and willing to pay double your amount.”
“Mal? Hasn't he...”
Maria shifted nervously. “He does not like to be refused.”
A palpable sense of fear fell over the room. Kalina got the impression that this Malvolio was not somebody to be toyed with.
“Very well,” said Octavius.
“What?” Kalina shouted.
“I leave it to Kalina. She is, after all, the subject of the treaty. I will not sign without her consent – but it is her right to determine it.”
“What?” Maria scoffed. “A human? Even a pretty human like this one doesn't deserve...”
Kalina could see what Octavius was doing. “I want to stay with Octavius,” she said. “If you sell me to anyone else, I swear to God I'll be dead – and bloodless – before they get to me. And I don't think this Malvolio person would want to pay billions of euros for a worthless corpse.”
“She's got fire,” said Constanza, amused. “Keep her, Octavius.”
“You see,” said Maria, “We do not wish to accept Malvolio's offer. He is not trustworthy; we know this. But if we refuse?”
“The Consortium is an honorable institution,” said Octavius. “It does not negotiate with vampires such as Mal.”
“Even if it means death? For you – too – if he has his way.”
“Bring out the treaty,” said Octavius.
It was duly signed by the five vampires of the Consortium and then by Octavius. He gave a loud “ahem.”
“What is it, Octavio?” asked Sandro.
“Kalina must sign it as well. I have agreed – I will not buy her as I would a vase or a diamond. She has the right to agree to this.”
“What an eccentric you are, Octavio!” Maria handed the parchment to Kalina. “Here you are, little girl.”
Kalina winced as she signed. She wasn't too keen on signing herself over to anybody. But at the same time, she appreciated Octavius publicly giving her a say in the matter – and she would rather be loyal to him and under his protection than under that of this mysterious “Mal.”
No sooner had Kalina finished signing the parchment then there came a knock at the door. She had never seen vampires afraid before, but with the harsh, hollow sound of the knock all five vampires froze in terror. Even Octavius looked afraid.
“Who could have gotten past our sentries...” Lorenzo whispered. “Unless...”
The door burst open with a bang. Kalina gasped. Rushing in and around on all sides were the largest, most powerful-looking vampires Kalina had ever seen – men and women of six or seven feet tall with bulging muscle and, most intimidating of all, preternaturally sharp teeth.
“Kalina!” Octavius’ hand gripped her wrist.
“So,” their leader spoke. He was at least seven feet tall, his face obscured by a hooded robe. His voice was deep and threatening. “You refuse my offer. I was fully prepared to be civil. But if you deny me the legal route...”
Kalina could see by the expressions of the other members of the Consortium who this was. It was Mal – Malvolio – the vampire that had cut such fear into the heart of the other vampires. The strongest, most evil vampire around. She swallowed. Hard.
“Get back!”
The members of the Consortium were all retreating, their hands flying to the stakes at their sides.
“You swore an oath.” Octavius' voice was like thunder. “You swore not one minute ago to protect this girl. Will you hold to your vows?”
Vampire promises, Kalina knew – and thanked God silently for – were unbreakable. Though she could see the fear evident on their face, these were warriors: men and women of honor. In a flash each had sprung forward, stake held high, to fight off Mal's men.
“Sacrificing your lives...” Mal cackled with disgust. “Because of a promise? How very noble of you...”
Octavius bounded forward. “Run,” he said. “Run – to Vatican City – you'll be safe there. Cross the river and head right – keep going.”
“I won't leave...”
“Now!” Octavius drew his stake. “I am your protector.”
“Drink me!” Kalina heard herself saying. “It will keep you strong! Please!”
Octavius turned back towards her, his eyes melting with kindness. “Not for all the years in the world, Kalina. Your blood is your own – go!”
There was no time to argue. Kalina scrambled through the window, protected by the wall of vampires fighting on her behalf. She leaped onto a tree through the window, climbing down. She fingered in her pocket for Holy Water. She doused herself thoroughly, then made her way to the garden, running as fast as she could through the darkened streets of the city.
Her footsteps echoed behind her as she crossed the Tiber River, at last passing under the arch that signified her entrance into Vatican City. There she stopped, shaking. Her heart filled with fear. What had happened to Octavius? The others? Her heart swelled as she remembered their kindness, their courage. They had signed the treaty – all of them – and they all protected her; even Octavius had been willing to forego her life, and her blood, in order to do the right thing.
She remembered the telepathy. Octavius! She called into the night. Octavius can you hear me? Come in...
For what seemed like hours, she received no reply.
Finally, she heard his voice. Kalina. Meet me at the Sant' Angelo Bridge.
She rushed to the bridge beneath the Castel St. Angelo, lined with marble angels. Octavius – haggard, worn, bloodied but still alive, was slowly coming up the path.
She rushed to meet him. Before she could stop herself, she was running to him, her arms twining around his neck, and then she was kissing him upon the bridge, exhausted with her relief, with his arms encircling her and his lips sweet like wine against her own.
Chapter 13
They could not stay long in Rome. Octavius told her what had happened to the other members of the Consortium – all five killed by Mal and his men after hours of fighting. All Mal's men had been killed, too – but once weakened by his soldiers, the Consortium members had been unable to counter Mal directly. They had telepathically ordered Octavius to flee to protect Kalina, sacrificing themselves one after the other to stave him off from pursuit.
Octavius was in evident pain – both from the harsh lights of the sun and from his wounds – and it was with difficulty that Kalina helped him back to the Villa Borghese villa. Octavius’ servants had already packed their things; there was no time even to say goodbye to the place Kalina had come to love before they boarded the first train across the French border.
They passed the day awkwardly in a first-class compartment. Both were well aware of what had happened between the two of them on the Castel St. Angelo Bridge, but neither spoke of it. Kalina herself wasn't sure what to say. She had been so overcome by emotion, by her fear and desire and been so powerfully moved by Octavius’ bravery – she had kissed him! He had promised not to make the first move, to give her time and space, to let her come to him – and she had come to him!
Kalina couldn't make sense of herself. She couldn't sleep; Octavius slept, swaddled beneath heavy black blankets. She couldn't look out the window – for obvious reasons she had to keep the blinds and curtains as drawn as possible. She could only pace through the tiny cabin, seeing in every thud and thump of the train the presence of that hooded figure whose menacing voice had filled her blood with venom and her heart with fear.
At last the train rolled into Paris. By this point it was nearly sundown, and Octavius looked all the better for having been refreshed.
“I have an apartment here,” he said. “In the seventh arrondissement, near the Invalides. It will be safe; it is only a safe-house for me, but not commonly known.” She took his arm as he led her through the streets.
Paris was so different from Rome. Rome had been colorful, alive – vibrant even in the evening with the moonlight shining on the cobblestones and music and laughter emanating from each bar or restaurant. Paris, rather, was cooler – more elegant. The skies were a pale shade of gray; the buildings were gray too, with their still facades and finely carved balconies, the flower-boxes with suspiciously red flowers in the windows. There was a more subtle romanticism to Paris; the place seemed somehow to be more restrained, more careful than Rome – where she and Octavius had wildly run from museum to museum, and cafe to cafe. This was a place to stroll, Kalina thought, rather than to run. After the excitement of the past few days, she imagined it was worth it.
“The reason I demanded we go to Paris,” said Octavius as they walked towards the flat, “is that I wish to consult a little-known library here. The Bibliotheque Supernaturel. I assume your French extends that far.”
“Of course.”
“Before Maria...was killed, she sent me a telepathic message: the entirety of her knowledge concerning you and your destiny. I daresay it was the effort of such a large, detailed message that killed her – before Mal even touched her; it was a heroic act. Even vampires, Kalina, are heroic.” His face darkened. Not long after you were adopted, some vampires of the Consortium went to that Nepalese orphanage. They had an informant in the region who told them one of the babies might have had Life's Blood, and might have been orphaned after a drought in the area.”
“Okay,” said Kalina.
“They took all the records – interviewing the residents, using compulsion on them if necessary – and created a report. That report is now at the bottom of the Seine – in a matter of speaking – in one of the world's largest supernatural libraries, underground, underwater, – accessible only from a grate underneath the Pont Neuf. It is not common practice to take a human there – there are rules, you see – but in light of the subject matter...”
“I won't cause a fuss,” said Kalina. “I'll keep my head down.”
They arrived at the flat. “I must apologize in advance,” said Octavius. “This flat is a small one – it has only one bed. I did not expect us to be...re-routed. I will of course sleep on the sofa.”
He looked down, clearly flustered.
“Thank you,” said Kalina. “For your...chivalry.”
He smiled weakly, but even now Kalina could not bring herself to remind him of the kiss earlier. Was he regretting it, she wondered? After his friends had been killed – was he regretting bringing her into his life? She seemed to be causing nothing but trouble – with Aaron, then with Jaegar and Stuart – and now with Octavius. Was she really worth all this chaos? She sighed as Octavius unlocked the door.
The apartment was beautiful. It was not as grand or ornate as the Roman villa, Octavius’ main residence, but it was nevertheless carefully decorated with furniture from the 18th and 19th centuries.
“I used to call this my writer's garret” said Octavius. “Where I would go to write poetry.”
“You wrote poetry?”
Octavius did not smile. “Only in the nineteenth century,” he said.
A few minutes before dawn, they set off for the library. It would be safe there, Octavius argued, and given its subterranean location it would be free of the normal side-effects of being out during the day.
“Are you sure you don't want to rest more?
Octavius shook his head. “We must get answers,” he said. “It is the only way.”
They made their way along the Seine until they came to the Pont Neuf bridge, the structure connecting the Left Bank with the Ile de la Cite. Octavius frowned as he felt each sewer grate, his hands at last fixing on the right one. He turned the cover three times counterclockwise, once clockwise, and then waited. Immediately the metal grate seemed to shatter into nothingness, leaving before them a long tunnel.
“Ladies first,” said Octavius, holding out his hand.
They climbed for what seemed like hours down a narrow spiral staircase, then through a series of long, dark passageways, illuminated only by the intermittent candle. At last they came to a heavy marble facade, with the words Biblios Daemonon inscribed in Greek across the main entryway.
“Lux aeternis,” Octavius whispered.
The door slowly swung open.
Kalina gasped. Underneath the Seine was the largest library she had ever seen, packed with shelves upon shelves of beautifully-bound tomes.
“None of these books can be found in your Public Library,” said Octavius.
“Werewolves,” breathed Kalina, looking at the shelves, “fairies, bacchanals, Kali, demons...”
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,” Octavius began the quotation, “that are dreamed of in your philosophy.”
“Hamlet?”
“Yes, Hamlet.”
He approached the librarian, a small woman with long, silvery hair that seemed to shimmer even in the absence of real life. She was not human, Kalina knew, but she could not tell what she was.
“Mermaid,” Octavius whispered, as he handed the woman a slip of paper.
“The Nepal Papers,” the woman nodded. “Are you sure – such knowledge is dangerous...”
“I am sure.”
She vanished – into thin air, Kalina thought – and then returned moments later with a pile of papers.
“As you wish, Octavius,” she said, with emphasis on this knowledge.
“Nothing gets past Illyria,” said Octavius as he led Kalina over to a small carrel. “This place is the safest in the supernatural world – and it is all due to her. She is more powerful than she looks. She has memorized each of these books...”
“Wow...” Kalina was astonished at the enormity of the library. How much must there be in the world – how much mystery – that she had never even thought about, could never even have dreamed about. She suddenly felt very small indeed.
“I think you have the right to be the first to see it,” said Octavius. “It is your story, after all.” He slid over the papers to her.
Kalina took a deep breath and read.
Reading, she found in the web of names and answers the first real clues she had ever experienced about her past. Her mother was called Sophia Varma, and she was an Anglo-Indian woman living in Nepal until her death in childbirth; her father was called Sanjay, and died of grief soon after. Sonia was the product of an English father – a holdover from an old colonial family and an Indian mother – whose roots lay in a traditional Brahmin clan whom she spurned to marry a Christian – leaving behind her culture and her power with a new life with this Englishman, Alexander Calvary. And Kalina learned too about this Englishman – and his French roots – and as she read she found the story of her family traced to the other Carriers – all related to her by blood through Calvary's mother, the Franco-English Aimee Despar, and from the Carrier at last to that Chinese woman of whom she had heard so much – Bai Xang, who had fallen in love with the vampire Francois, and produced the first line of Life's Blood. It was a story of strong women and brave men, of powerful vampires and just-as-powerful humans – of loves, loss, collected memory and history from centuries of traditions. The Consortium Vampires had used compulsion to interview Cavalry's brother, Kalina's great aunt, had taken family photo albums, genealogies, oral legends, ultimately creating the most accurate and complete account of Life's Blood in existence.
But it was not the Life's Blood that excited Kalina. Rather, it was the names she read – the stories behind them – the men and women whose extraordinary lives had all come together to produce her, Kalina.
Her eyes were wet with tears as she slid the folder back to Octavius.
“May I inquire as to its contents?”
“Don't bother reading it,” she said to Octavius. She closed her eyes. Can you hear me?
Yes. I'm here.
She transmitted her memories to him, the words she had read, the pictures in her imagination of her birth mother and her grandmother and the Italian poetess and the English soldier and the Indian priestess who had made up part of her heritage. With it she transmitted, too, her feelings – her fear, her pain, her sense of loss at having never known them, her loss, too, for the adoptive parents who had raised her – and, without knowing it until it was too late, and her oft-replayed memory of that kiss, of Octavius’ mouth so sweet against her own.
She could see his expression change as her thoughts and memories washed over him. He felt her pain, her sadness, as keenly as if it were his own. At last he took her hand and raised it to his lips.
“You come from a great line of heroes,” he said. “But you will outdo them all. I can promise you that.”
She smiled, and felt him draw her close.
“I am sorry,” he said - “I have been brusque with you this past day. So much has happened...please, do not think I regret inviting you with me. It has been – nearly as extraordinary as you are.”
She felt him kiss her again, in the shadow of all these books, his hand tight on hers; his arms warm about her neck – warm but so cold! - and then she released herself into his kiss.
“Come now,” said Octavius, pulling away tenderly, “we have to celebrate your birthday.”
“My birthday? It's not till the...” It was the sixteenth now. In the stress of Mal's attack, Kalina had completely forgotten her eighteenth birthday.
“Eighteen,” said Octavius. “You're getting older.” He looked away from her and sighed.
Chapter 14
That night, Octavius announced that he would be taking Kalina out for a proper birthday celebration. He produced from his closet a shimmering mess of blue silk, accompanied by two white satin gloves, the color of polished pearls. “I arranged for my valet to buy this for you,” he said. “If you would do me the honor of wearing it tonight.”
Kalina took the dress in her arms.
“You want me to wear this?” It was too glamorous, she thought – too beautiful – even for an eighteen-year-old girl.
“You are an adult now,” said Octavius. “This is a dress for a young woman.”
She fingered the silk.
“Well, maybe I'll just go try it on...” She blushed as she slipped past him into the bathroom. She hurriedly changed from the clothing she had been wearing earlier, a white linen skirt and blazer Octavius had supplied, into the dress. She pulled on the gloves, praying that she wouldn't tear them in her effort to put them on properly. When she was finished, she looked into the mirror and gasped.
She was beautiful. Octavius was a man of great aesthetic taste, and it was clear that he had understood what would best flatter her coloring and figure. The dress – a sleeveless, tight outfit that nevertheless flowed out into fullness at the feet – accentuated Kalina's slender curves, even as it brought out the nebulous, green-gray color of her eyes and the chestnut highlights hiding in her dark black hair. She had never seen herself like this before – truly a woman, truly an adult – for the first time freed from that in-between place, as difficult to discern as the color of her eyes, between childhood and adulthood. Octavius had seen the woman in her beneath her adolescent innocence more than she did.
“So,” she said to herself. “This is what you really look like.”
She applied her makeup sparingly, not wishing to distract from the simplicity of the dress itself. When she was finished, she tentatively opened the door, and walked out.
“Well?” She couldn't resist giving Octavius a flirtatious toss of the head.
He sat before her, speechless at her beauty. It was clear he had expected it to suit her; nevertheless, as she walked – more confidently, more self-assured than before – he had not expected how much. He stood before her in awe before at last he rose and pressed her lips to his fingers.
“I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you are right now,” he said.
He rose and kissed her quickly – deeply – before pushing himself away.
“No, do not distract me,” he said. “You see, we cannot be late. We have tickets to the opera.”
“The opera?”
“You were humming vissi d'arte, from Tosca on the train – I assumed...”
“I love opera,” said Kalina. She remembered trying, in vain, to drag Aaron to a performance of Carmen in San Francisco.
“I thought Tosca would be an appropriate choice,” he said. The heroine in that opera had famously flung herself off the Castel Sant'Angelo – where Octavius and Kalina had first kissed – in the name of true love.
Kalina couldn't help but smile. Was this truly the same Octavius who had so angered and terrified her only days before? With her, he seemed to be a completely different figure – no longer bound to behave in a manner to intimidate his subordinates. No, she was an equal to him – and she felt his respect course through her like vampire wine.
They went to the Opera Garnier, a palatial building – with gilded staircases and heavy marble columns – sitting in a private box swathed in red velvet.
“This is all so new to me,” whispered Kalina as the curtain went up. “I've never even left California before.”
“I want to take you everywhere,” whispered Octavius in her ear. “Anywhere you want to go – India, Greece, England...I want to see the world anew, through your eyes.”
“You mean...”
“I have grown so tired of the world,” he said. “I have seen so much. But your enthusiasm – it makes it all feel so new...”
Indeed, Octavius must have seen Tosca many times. She saw him close his eyes, rapt with bliss, as the most beautiful melodies struck up and repeated themselves, and nod rhythmically – as if he knew each strain by heart. And yet, when she saw the tragic story of the Roman Tosca enacted upon that opulent stage, and she could not help herself from gasping in delight at a particularly mournful note, or shivering with joy as a soprano hit a high C, she instinctively squeezed Octavius’ hand, and saw in his eyes that her joy gave his experience new meaning.
Kalina felt that, for all the danger and all the pain that she had experienced, there could be nothing more beautiful in all the world than sitting with Octavius here just now, listening to some of the world's most stunning music, in the world's most romantic city – the possibilities of the world opened up before her at her feet. And Octavius had known so much – seen so much – and he wanted to share it with her, and she wanted to experience it with him...
They walked home through a Paris alive with the evening – the moon full and heavy above them. They walked past the Grands Boulevards, filled with art nouveau department stores and elegant outdoor cafes, and through the more narrow side-streets of the Medieval Marais, across Ile St Louis and along the shimmering Seine. Octavius pointed out the Latin Quarter to her, where he himself had studied as a young lad in the 1100s (he had studied, he said, at all the great universities of the world – Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Princeton, La Sorbonne, La Sapienza...choosing a different subject each time. “I wish to learn all the world has to offer,” he said, although he admitted his memory was rusty as to the principles of canon law he had taken at the University of Paris. “Studying canon law as a vampire...” he laughed. “I could not enter the place of study!”) He showed her the Eiffel Tower, the Boulevard St-Germain, where he had once met the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre. The whole world had never seemed more alive to Kalina than just now.
At last they returned to the flat, their hands twined together, and when the door closed behind them the silence Kalina felt was louder than all the shouting in the world. In silence they began kissing; in silence he removed her gloves in smooth, graceful motions; in silence they were locked in each other, first at the threshold and then on the sofa, and then, laughing silently, buried in each other's neck and shoulders and fingers, upon the bed.
She was lost in a world of music, in the Puccini arias still lingering in the air, and the beauty of Paris outside their window, and the delicious sensation of Octavius’ fingers cool along her neck, heating her blood further, and then she found that her dress slipped off her in a flush of cool silk, and that she was unbuttoning his shirt, untying his bow tie, and then all at once they were naked, both of them, as if their clothes had dissolved off their bodies, and still kissing.
Kalina remembered the spell; she stopped.
“We shouldn't...” she forced herself to say, wishing all the while she didn't have to. “I mean, the Life's Blood.”
Octavius stopped for a moment, and then laughed.
“What is it?” She clutched the blankets to her chest, flushing. “Did I say something wrong?”
He kissed her deeply.
“This is one instance,” he said, “where I am rather glad of the out-dated terminology of legend-makers.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” said Octavius, “the spell was likely composed...in a time when...” He flushed. “How can I put this? Vampire magic has a rather...technical concept of virginity.”
“Technical?”
He kissed her cheek. “Your poor Greystone brothers,” he said, “are young – all of them, still young. And not wise. And you'd think, in a thousand years...but they're still boys. And I assure you, my darling, there are many, many ways to....ahem....circumvent the laws your condition necessitates.”
“You mean, as long as I remain a technical virgin...”
“There is plenty,” said Octavius, his mouth at her shoulders, her chest, her stomach... “that we can do without angering this mysterious magic in your blood. And I want you to know...” He kissed her again, “you beautiful, maddening girl, that I want this – tonight – to be about you.”
She stopped. She had so long tried to initiate this kind of contact, so long been rebuffed – told to wait, for her own sake, that the idea that Octavius was neither pressuring her nor holding her back was refreshing. And yet it brought with it its own set of fears. For all that she and Jaegar had kissed – for all that she'd even nervously taken off her shirt and let him feel her breasts – they had never gone much further than that. Octavius must have had loads of women – all of whom knew exactly where to move, how to...
“I've never done this before,” she said. “I mean – I don't really know – I don't want to do it wrong...”
Octavius kissed her into silence. “You don't have to do anything,” he said, “but, I hope – relax. I want tonight to be about you, about what you want – only tell me...if this is what you want...”
“Yes,” she said, without hesitation, and the night faded into a breathy silence.
***********
When Kalina woke, she could not tell if it was morning. The apartment's windows were boarded shut, so that no light could seep in. She wrapped the blankets around herself, taking a moment to remember where she was. She felt Octavius’ arms curled around her and then it all came flooding back to her – the endless night, Octavius’ patience, his kindness, his skill...the way he had listened to her body – used their telepathic connection to feel what she felt, to enhance her pleasure, to unite the two of them in hours of exhausting joy.
He had even, as the night wore on, and grew ever and ever more thrilling, allowed her to drink his blood; even now, that blood coursed through her.
So, Kalina thought, this was all the fuss was about. And she hadn't even had to break the spell for it. She felt grateful, reminiscing, that she had waited – not entirely by choice – for this long. She and Aaron's fumblings beneath the bleachers were so insignificant compared to this skill, this connection.
Octavius raised himself on one elbow. “Are you all right?” he asked her.
She laughed and turned to face him. “I think that's a bit of an understatement.”
“I didn't...hurt you, did I?”
“Hurt me?” She laughed. “I'm more worried that I hurt you.” She motioned to the wound where she had sucked the blood from his wrist.
“It will heal,” he said. “I am glad. I wouldn't have wanted – to take advantage...”
She rolled over. “I'll take advantage of you right back, if it would make you feel any better.”
“Well, perhaps it would even the score...”
“It's only fair...”
They began kissing again, and Kalina felt that same familiar flutter within her.
Suddenly, there came a knock at the door – a horrible, familiar sound.
Octavius stopped immediately. “Don't move,” he said. “Get a stake.” All joy had flooded out of him.
He bounded into the living room; Kalina hurriedly put on a dressing gown, arming herself with two stakes...
He stopped short. The voice seemed to fill her head; she could see Octavius wince, too, as if the voice were there as well.
So, you think you can run away?
Octavius put his hands to his ears; it did not good.
I am stronger than your boyfriend, little girl. I don't need an invitation.
Immediately Kalina felt a pounding, searing pain in her head, a screeching, high-pitched cackle that infected every part of her and reduced all her attack plans to nothingness. Her muscles relaxed unwillingly; her stakes tumbled to the floor.
“No...” Octavius was whispering. He seemed to gain control for an instant. “No! Kalina – lock the bedroom door” He rushed forward, but it was too late. Kalina could see the door fly open – the last thing before she slammed her own door shut and bolted it. It would do no good here. The windows were boarded shut – she couldn't get through them in time...
Kalina – I love you, remember that I love you...
Little girl – come out! Unless you want your boyfriend's entrails for dinner.
Don't listen to him – Kalina – stay there!
It's no use. I'll have one of you – or I'll have both of you.
Kalina screamed, against herself, as the pain of both voices battling in her brain became too much to bear.
Stop it! Please, stop it....
Don't let him in, Kalina, darling – please don't let him in...
Open the door, little girl. Go on, open it. The guards are dead. That valet who bought you the pretty blue dress – dead. Do you want your boyfriend to die too?
Kalina, don't.
Her heart pounded. She knew, with dreadful certainty, that there was no way to fight him. He was too powerful, too deadly.
“Kill yourself first,” Stuart had said once. “If defeat is certain.” But that couldn't be true. Kalina felt within her blood – now, after last night, more than ever – that it couldn't be that simple, that there was something in her that demanded to live, demanded to fight.
And if it meant saving the man she loved, so be it. She had come to love Octavius with a fierce realization she didn’t think possible. They were connected by mind, body, and soul as though it was meant to be. That was how Octavius could dreamwalk with her. She was meant to love Octavius. She must not lose him.
She opened the door.
“I'm the one you want,” she said, and she could see Octavius’ face contort with anguish.
Mal stood in the doorway. He was wearing no hood, now – she could see his face; thin like a wolf's, cruel, handsome once, but transformed into monstrosity by his cruelty, his rage. Even when Octavius had been her enemy, he had always seemed noble, straightforward. But Mal was not like that. His beauty had long since turned into ugliness, the way marble statues can be worn by rain and time until they resemble nothing so much as Medieval gargoyles.
She was not a potential love. She was not a woman. She was only prey.
And she was his.
“Leave Octavius alone,” said Kalina. “And I will go willingly. If you hurt him, I die before you reach me.” She pointed the stake at her own heart.
Mal smiled.
Go to sleep, little girl.
His smile was the last thing she saw before she hit the ground.
Chapter 15
Kalina woke in a darkened room. “Where am I...” she tried to mumble, but she found that her mouth made no sound; her throat was too parched. She was strapped down to a chair, a splintering wooden thing that ached against what she was sure were bruises she could not remember sustaining. She struggled against her bonds, but it was no use.
She was alone.
As Kalina's eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, she became gradually aware of her surroundings. There was almost no light – a single candle on a table had to suffice for the whole room. They were in some sort of basement – her sense of smell told her that almost as much as sight. There was mold and moss on the walls, a pungent mix, and she could hear the scurrying of rats around her and even – once, terrifyingly, - feel soft fur brush swiftly against her ankle.
Her voice was returning to her, slowly. “Hello!” she called out. “Is anyone there?” As she remembered Mal's face – lean, vulpine, and cruel – she realized that she wasn't so sure she wanted an answer.
Nothing could have seemed further from her now than the soft luxury of the week before – when she had slowly fallen in love with Octavius, with his bravery in Rome and his kindness in Paris, when she had let him kiss her in the shadow of the Castel Sant'Angelo and then at last, deliriously, deliciously succumbed to her desire in the little flat on Rue Duroc. She longed for Octavius’ arms around her now, that tight embrace that made her feel so safe, but could feel only the harsh, cold dungeon air on her arms.
Octavius? Can you hear me?
There was no answer. With a sickening jolt she remembered Octavius as she had last seen him, his eyes pleading with her not to surrender, covered in blood. Had she been a fool, to give herself up to Mal? Had he killed Octavius anyway? She knew there had been no choice – Octavius would have been killed anyway; Mal would have broken down the door – it was a hopeless fight...had Mal, at least, in his rush to ferry Kalina away, forgotten about the vampire he had just beaten?
Octavius? Her silent voice nevertheless raised into a scream that almost escaped her lips. Octavius, please...
Was he dead? Or had Mal merely put a block on her powers.
She tried the only other vampire she could think of with whom she had exchanged a telepathic connection.
Jaegar?
No response.
She considered. On the one hand, it meant that Octavius wasn't necessarily dead – unless Jaegar, too, had succumbed... on the other hand, it meant that wherever she was, nobody could hear her, not even telepathically. That meant that there was nobody to hear you scream.
Kalina.
She started with a jolt, listening again for the voice.
Kalina.
No, this wasn't Octavius – this wasn't Jaegar. This voice was harder, colder, crueler...this was Mal's voice.
Hello, little girl.
The door to the dungeon swung open, and Kalina could see Mal's thin, cloaked figure gliding towards her.
“Let me look at you.” His voice was aloud now.
“Octavius!” she cried. “What have you done with Octavius?”
“It's none of your concern.” He leered at her. “Now, to decide what is to be done with you. Are you worth more to me – or to others? All at once...or in pieces?”
“You can't do this!”
“You're blood, little girl. Pretty blood, but blood nonetheless. And I know plenty of vampires who would pay ten times what Octavius was willing to part with to have you in their veins.”
He came in close; his breath stank of death.
“Not the first Carrier I've tasted,” said Mal. “But certainly the freshest.” He sniffed. “Yes – a virgin. But...not quite. Most Carriers taste pure and sweet. You smell different – more sensual.” He flashed yellowing fangs at her. “What sort of naughty things have you been up to, little girl?”
She spat in his face. “None of your business.” But against herself, her mind flashed back to last night – to Octavius, his eyes, his touch, his mouth...
“I see!” Mal had heard her thoughts. “How very...scandalous. All the same, your Life's Blood is pure. I can smell it. But what an...interesting bouquet. And what an interesting night you've had.”
Kalina tried to think of something – anything – else to deflect Mal's telepathy. But in spite of herself, her thoughts kept returning to the very things she tried not to think about: Jaegar, Stuart, Aaron, Maeve, Justin – Octavius! - those she loved...
“Poor girl,” said Mal. “Now, be good blood – lie still – and I might just forget about your friends. Or I might kill them for fun. But they all have a better chance if you do exactly - as – I – say. Now, hold still. This will hurt.”
Kalina screamed as she felt a hypodermic needle enter her arm. She winced as she saw the tube attached to it, fitted into a vial on the other end, her blood filling the void.
“Each one of these would fetch a fortune,” said Mal. “More than you as a whole – it'll start a bidding war. Once one vamp tastes you, even a bit, the others will have to pay a premium to keep up...”
He jammed another needle into her arm. “Of course, I only regret I can't have you all to myself. But I've sucked so many Carriers in my time...”
These Carriers had done what Stuart had warned Kalina she would do if she were ever drunk from unwillingly. They had made him as powerful and evil as any vampire she could ever have imagined in her worst nightmares.
“What do you want?” Kalina's voice was shaking; she already knew the answer. She screamed as he put in one more needle, this time in her upper thigh.
Three vials of blood were quickly filled.
“That's enough for now,” said Mal, yanking out the needles with callous nonchalance. He put the vials on the table.
“Oh, dear.” He smiled. “You're wounded. Let me kiss it better.”
She shuddered as he let his tongue trace the wound at her thigh, lapping up the few remaining droplets of blood at the wound. He licked her again at both arm-wounds; she felt his fangs brush against her skin and wondered, shivering, if he would lose control...
“Delicious,” he licked his lips. “Fear not, girl. I can hold back. I told you – I know Carriers. I've had them before.”
He sat, letting the effect of her blood take hold. He grinned, and she could see his face become in the candlelight even crueler and more monstrous than it had been before.
“It didn't have to be this way, you know,” said Mal. “The last Carrier – I gave her a chance. I wanted her – she could have loved me, you know. Loved me and given me all the power she held in that pretty little throat. Tess – we called her Tess – La Contessa di Ischiatana. This must have been, what, five hundred years ago?” He laughed and jabbed another needle into Kalina's arm, squeezing it tightly to make the blood flow faster. “I wanted her so...badly. But she refused me. She wanted another – a stupid prat of a vampire who only wanted her blood to turn into a human again! Can you imagine?” He laughed and dug the needle in deeper. Kalina bit back another scream, her teeth sinking deeply into her lower lips.
He stopped. “You've cut your lip,” he said. He leaned in, licking up the offending droplet from her mouth.
“No – poor Tess wouldn't have me. So I showed her! I sucked her dry. She would have loved me – she loved me – she wanted me – I know she wanted me...” He shuddered as this second dose of Kalina's blood took hold. “Left her for dead. So high off her blood I didn't think to make sure her heart had stopped – I just wanted to expend all that energy! Find women, men, victims, partners ...feeders...but the bitch lived. Married her prat – made him human. Hid from me – living in Vatican City (for her uncle was a Borgia Pope!) - thought the Carrier line was too good for me! Well, I'll tell you. I showed her. Not three hundred years later I drained Johanna dry – God, was she good. But you! Oh, you, little girl – taste so much better. Must be all the fun you had last night.”
She concentrated telepathically.
Go to hell.
He reeled back, surprised, before his face crinkled with amusement. He slapped her straight across the face; she whimpered.
He laughed a deep crazed laugh that sent shivers through Kalina's body. She thought again about Stuart, about Jaegar and Aaron. Is this what would have happened to them – if they had drunk from her, if she did not truly love them? Is this the fate she would have subjected them to?
She almost felt sorry for Mal, even as she feared him.
So, this was the end, she thought, trying to stay calm, stay brave... She was only glad that she had been able to keep the Greystone brothers from this fate.
Octavius – she called out. If you can hear me...please remember – I love you.
Mal laughed. “He can't hear you, little girl. And even if he could, there's nothing he can do.”
His laughter echoed through the dungeon. Kalina closed her eyes, feeling another needle jab into her, and started to pray.
Chapter 16
The hours that followed were the most difficult hours in Kalina's life. Mal continued to toy with her – withdrawing vials of her blood at a time, giving her only brief periods of respite in which she could regain strength, lest she lose too much blood right away and die. He also, Kalina felt, wanted to keep her alive as long as possible for other reasons – he seemed to enjoy taunting her in her distress, and even when he left her alone for endless, horrible hours, he remained in her head – reminding her of what was to come, of the taste of her blood...
She tried to struggle against her bonds, but it was to no avail. It was clear that Mal was far more powerful than any normal vampire, and the droplets of her blood he had consumed had only made him stronger still. At last she realized, with terrible certainty, that there was nothing left to do but wait and pray, with the end drawing ever nearer.
Octavius – she kept calling, fruitlessly, through the waves of her brain. Please, if you're out there – come find me.
And the silence, and Mal's laughter, echoed through her brain.
Kalina was exhausted. Mal's procedures had left her pale and drained, her energy sapping with her blood loss. Mal had come and gone again two more times, leaving her sweating and gasping, still bleeding from the puncture wounds.
And then she heard the voice.
Kalina, are you alive?
She gasped.
Yes.
Where are you? It was Octavius – unmistakable, now. Her heart leaped, forcing her reduced blood through her body.
I don't know.
Mal knows.
So, Octavius wanted her to enter Mal's brain, to use their telepathic connection against him. She concentrated harder, trying to picture Mal, to enter his mind the same way she had called to Octavius. All she could see was her own terror – her shame – Mal's horrible flickering smile and the way he looked into her mind, the way he fed upon her fears.
I can't. She was too weak, too afraid, and so ashamed of her fears.
You must.
Octavius’ voice gave her courage. She concentrated again, trying to connect with Mal's brainwaves. She saw herself, lying strapped onto the chair – saw Mal's evil, his cruelty, his anger, his pain; felt his pain wash over her, until she was feeling what he was feeling, feasting on her own blood, letting Mal's agonizing monstrosity overtake her.
And then she saw what Mal saw.
We're near the river, she said. We're still in Paris. We're by the Pont Neuf.
She gasped.
Oh my God – Octavius – I'm in the Library.
Mal's memories, Mal's images came flooding into her.
Illyria – the mermaid – she's in league with Mal, selling him my blood – she's the one who ratted us out, she's the traitor...
She withdrew from Mal's mind as quickly as she could.
Wait here, Kalina. We will find you.
The remaining moments felt like hours. Kalina could hear her heartbeat echoing through the dungeon. That sound above her – that slow rippling. Why, it must be the rushing of the Seine – the endless night of the underground.
Mal returned, a huge grin on his face.
“Ready for more fun, little girl?”
Kalina closed her eyes.
Octavius, hurry.
And then Octavius was there, swooping down upon Mal, his fangs bared, wet with blood, invigorated.
Mermaid blood.
But Octavius was not alone. Behind him were three familiar figures, all armed and porting long fangs, wet too with the same blood. They were figures she recognized; her heart jumped at all of them. Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron had all come – fighting side-by-side along Octavius, fighting for her! Mal was strong, but as the four of them moved Kalina could understand that they had something that Mal did not – centuries of experience fighting together, caring for each other, saving each other's lives in battle. They moved not like four separate vampires but like one single entity, more powerful than its individual components. Together they fought – when Jaegar lunged, Stuart parried, and when Aaron thrust with his stake, Octavius leaped forward.
She could see their telepathic communications – Aaron rushed to her, cutting her loose from her bonds, and placing something into her hands.
“A water gun?” She raised an eyebrow.
“It's filled with Holy Water,” said Aaron. “Just...wait 'till we're out of the way, first.”
She staggered to her feet; Aaron supported her.
“Get back,” he shouted, as she stumbled into a corner, holding the water gun before her.
He returned to the fray, and the four of them continued to fight, until Mal at last was weakened enough for him to fall back. The others retreated.
“Kalina, now!” shouted Aaron.
With the last of her fading strength, she pulled the trigger, sending a jet of Holy Water straight into Mal's heart. He let out a terrible cry, enough for her to know that she had struck him, and seriously injured him.
It was the last thing she heard, weak from hunger and lack of blood, she passed out.
When Kalina woke up, she was in far more pleasant circumstances. She was lying on a soft feather bed, swaddled in a soft comforter. She was wearing clean white linen pajamas, and next to her she could see a full tray of food – croissants, baguettes, jam – with a hot pot of milk. The smell refreshed her, and she leaned up.
“Thank God you're awake!” Stuart's voice was warm and comforting alongside her. “She's up!” he shouted.
The others came rushing in.
“We've been taking turns watching you,” said Stuart. “You've been out for two days.”
“Where am I?” Kalina looked around.
“Octavius’ chateau,” said Jaegar. “In the south of France. The moat's been refilled...with Holy Water. Which means Mal can't get in.”
“And we can't get out,” Aaron added.
“He's not dead?” Kalina asked.
“Severely weakened,” Octavius said. “Your shot with the Holy Water knocked him out. But with your blood in him...he could not be killed. We bound him up with silver, doused him with the rest of the Holy Water, and covered him in crucifixes, then left him where the sun would find him. I fear, given his ingestion, that will last him...about a week.”
“But my blood!” Kalina cried.
“What blood?”
“Mal took vials of my blood,” she said. “To sell – he must have taken seven or eight.”
“No wonder you were so weak,” said Octavius. “You've ingested all of our blood. None of us alone had enough to save you, so we each fed you what we could. Had we been able to wake you, we would have asked you first, but...”
“No, it's fine.” Kalina sighed. “You didn't take the blood.”
Octavius’ face darkened. “Afraid not,” he said. “We found one vial on Illyria's body. We didn't know what it was at the time – we nearly drank it.”
“Octavius convinced us not to,” said Aaron.
“Good thing,” said Kalina. She coughed.
The four of them remained by her bedside for quite some time longer. The blood of the four of them had healed her physically, but they all knew that the psychic wounds would take longer. Kalina still kept scratching at her arms and legs where the puncture wounds had been, jumping and starting at every unexpected noise in the room. At the same time, Kalina thought, it was good to see all the Greystone brothers again. She was touched that, even after everything that had happened between them, they stayed loyal to their maker – their disloyalty as a result of their feelings for Kalina now put aside, in favor of fealty to their maker, and a knowledge of doing the right thing. As the four of them interacted – Aaron only a slight remove – with each other and with her, Kalina was sure that Octavius had done the right thing by taking her out of the chaos and confusion of Rutherford. After her week abroad, Kalina was able to look at all four of them with new eyes. She appreciated them more than ever now – Stuart's kindness and bravery, Aaron's loyalty, Jaegar's fun-loving attitude – and appreciated them all the more for the parts of Octavius she saw in them. They were truly Octavius’ off-spring – in him she had found a combination of all their best parts, tempered by years of experience as both a human and in the existence he had found afterwards. And yet, as she gazed upon them all, she could not help but feel her eyes drawn most to Octavius – after all they had shared, all they had done together. She thought back to the night of her eighteenth birthday in Paris, a colorful blush coming to her cheeks. With the others she had been so confused, so unsure – trying to decide which quality most endeared her to which brother – but with Octavius she had been so total, so sure...
But he did not ask to spend time alone with her now. He let the four of them remain with her, and Kalina was too shy to ask for time alone with him.
It would come, she thought, drifting back off to sleep again. She would speak to him, confess her love to him, and offer him her blood at last...The time would come.
Chapter 17
Time passed quickly in the south of France The chateau was located in a green field near a forest, and while they mutually decided it was best not to leave the castle at night, Kalina nevertheless spent a good deal of her time gazing out the window at the lush French countryside before her. What torture it was, she thought, to be able to look upon such beauty, and not go out in it! Nevertheless, she knew as well as the others did that leaving the castle with Mal about was not safe. She shuddered as she remembered his cruel smile, his grinning face. Over and over again she saw it in nightmares, trying to shut his telepathy out. Octavius had helped her practice her technique, so that she forced herself – whenever she suspected her mind might have an invader – to think of a decoy location: an Italian villa, a Swiss chalet, to distract Mal from their real whereabouts. Likewise, Octavius regretfully refused to tell Kalina more specifically where they were located. “It's too dangerous,” he said darkly. “I can't risk letting Malvolio know.”
Nevertheless, Kalina tried to force Mal out of her mind – at least when the other vampires were around. She tried to convince herself that she was safe now, that there were four of the strongest and bravest vampires she knew to protect her, and yet she could not stop worrying. Mal was still out there, she knew. And he still wanted her.
She spent all of her time with the vampires in a group. She was surprised at first, and saddened, to see that Octavius did not wish to spend time alone with her. Had he lost respect for her? Had she succumbed too quickly? She flushed every time she thought about it, and then quickly closed off her brain, lest Mal or Octavius hear her thoughts.
Time with the four of them was pleasant enough. Jaegar regaled them all with jokes – Stuart served out vampire wine, and they all made various toasts: “To love!” “To loyalty!” “To life!” (this last one was conducted with something of an ironic smile. It was clear that they were back in Octavius’ good graces, and furthermore that this was the life that they had led long before Kalina – a life of untroubled brotherhood, of men not torn apart from each other by love. Their affection for Kalina was clear, but they respected Octavius – as their leader and their maker – and none of them seemed nearly as expressive as they had been back in Rutherford, when Kalina had felt overwhelmed by three sets of simultaneous brotherly advances.
Only Aaron seemed somewhat awkward around the proceedings. He had not originally fought with Octavius, Kalina knew, only served as a wine-maker and taster for Octavius’ army. And it was clear that he remembered Octavius better as the origin of his imprisonment than as any father-figure – he seemed almost to resent the other brothers' attachment to the general who had kept him in a dungeon for six months. Poor Aaron, thought Kalina. It was his attachment to Kalina – romantic and blood-related – that had kept Octavius from her this long; while it had seemed chivalrous, at first, the more she knew of Octavius, she realized that the betrayal was strictly personal. Octavius would never have hurt her; he had treated her with perfect, gentlemanly restraint and waited for her to come to him. But Aaron was still seventeen at heart, and easily made jealous and possessive. He knew that his selfishness had been the cause of the rift between Octavius and his two older brothers, and shame seemed to flush over his face during the gatherings.
Still, they all seemed happy enough, with only the unspoken shadow of Mal passing over them.
They had been in the chateau a week when at last Kalina stole a moment alone with Octavius, after a rich dinner only she had eaten.
“I haven't spoken to you all week!” said Kalina, catching him on the stairwell.
He started and looked down. “I'm afraid,” he said gravely, “that I have a great deal of business to attend to. I am sorry.”
He continued on the stairs.
“What's going on?” She followed him up the spiral staircase to his bedchamber. “Is everything okay?” She put her hand on his shoulder; he lightly brushed it away.
“I didn't want to tell you this,” Octavius sighed. “Not now – not right away. But I am – I think it best...if you go home.”
“Go home? And leave you?”
Octavius gave a stiff nod. “The brothers will take care of you, guard you. Mal...I will track him down here – do what I can...”
“And us?”
The words echoed into silence.
Octavius took a deep breath. “I am afraid there is no us, Kalina,” he said slowly. He flinched, and then continued a speech so precise as to have been clearly prepared. “Kalina – you are so young – so young. And I was a fool to ask you here – to expect you to...you have a life prepared for you. University. Friends. A career – a phenomenal life's calling free from what is in your blood. I refer to your mind, Kalina. Your brilliant, insightful mind – that thrilled to Tosca in Rome, that read the Nepal papers in Paris...I cannot sacrifice that for a life of being the plaything to vampires one hundred times your age – more!”
“But...” Kalina's lip began to tremble. “How can you say that? After everything...?”
“It was a fancy,” said Octavius.
“A fancy?” Kalina couldn't help shouting. “Like Olive – just a plaything...till you were bored?”
“I didn't mean it like that!” Octavius’ voice seethed with anger. “You need to grow up – to grow old – to choose your own fate, instead of being drawn into my own...”
She only heard the first sentence. “Grow up?” She put her hands on her hips. “What, I'm too young for you, now? You didn't seem to have any problems with my age in Paris – after the opera...”
“Kalina, please!” For the first time, Octavius raised his head, and Kalina could see that his eyes were full of tears.
“But, I love you.” Her voice was soft and slow, shaking. “You were the one – I wanted...I wanted to give you...to become...”
“And what would that have done?” Octavius rounded on her. “If I were to turn into a human – how would I protect you then? I would be killed in moments – and you would be easy prey for Malvolio. One moment of happiness – and then I would be useless. The Consortium is dead, Kalina. The largest confederation of honorable vampires chopped off at the head in a single hour's battle. It falls to me, as the cause of all this, to carry out their work – to keep order. I cannot do that as a human. I cannot protect you as a human.”
But Kalina could hear none of this through her tears. All she understood was Octavius’ rejection of her, and the pain was worse than any taunts or terrors that Mal could have devised.
“Please, Octavius,” she whispered. She tried to open up their telepathic connection, to reach out to him in that land of shapes and shadows beyond speech, where everything seemed so much better, so much truer. But there was only silence.
He had closed himself off from her.
“Please,” said Octavius. “Do not make this more difficult than it has to be. I was – I apologize – a passing fancy for you.”
“You weren't!”
“You were young, impressionable – you had not seen the world. I took advantage of that – in my happiness I dreamed it was not so, that you truly loved me – but I am far too old to be naïve to my own actions. I took advantage of your innocence – when you should have chosen instead someone closer to your own age, your own experience. You were old for eighteen; I was a fool to believe you were nearly as old as a vampire turned at twenty-seven, who was twenty-seven for a thousand years...”
“It wasn't my youth!”
“I took you to Paris – to Rome – you were overwhelmed – the champagne, the clothes...you didn't love me...”
She felt her blood boil. “So I was only with you because you bought me things and took me places?” she shouted. “What do you take me for? You think it was about that?”
Their conversations about art and religion, about philosophy, their love of opera...
Finally, Octavius sighed deeply, and looked upon her with more pain that she could ever have imagined in his eyes. “I lied to you, Kalina,” he said. “I told you I would not use compulsion upon you, but I lied.”
“What?”
“Your feelings for me – they are not real. They were only a fantasy. Go to Jaegar, to Stuart – to Aaron. They will care for you, as I cannot. You cared for them – you did. And I took that from you, with compulsion.”
“You didn't! They were real! My feelings were real.”
“I am a skilled vampire, Kalina. You did not recognize it – but it was true...”
“I don't believe you.”
“Go!” Octavius cried, his face white with rage. “Hate me – if you must. But now you are free. You do not love me. You never loved me. It was only an illusion. And now you must hate me. It is...better that you hate me.”
“Fine!” Kalina found herself shouting. “I do hate you!” Tears were pouring down her cheeks. “You and your stupid Paris flats and your stupid philosophy talk and your stupid – stupid operas!” She could not stop herself. “Go to hell!” She slammed the door behind her, running in a flood of tears down the stairs.
She stopped on the landing to gain her breath – just for a minute. She recalled Octavius’ eyes – the look on his face – that pain – he was lying, it couldn't have been compulsion, it couldn't have been...
She finally reached her bedroom and threw herself into bed, soaking through the pillowcases with the sheer enormity of her tears.
**********
The next few days passed in something of a blur. Kalina returned to a human sleep schedule – sleeping through the night, waking at dawn – precisely to avoid Octavius. But the daylight was no balm for her pain. She kept going over and over again what Octavius had said to her – that he had used compulsion on her, that she didn't really love him. She thought back to her magical week with Octavius in Rome and in Paris. It had been so beautiful – so wonderful. And had it been all a lie? It hadn't felt like compulsion – that strange, hypnotic sense she had experienced when Jaegar had tried it on her. It had felt alive, felt real.
Kalina refused to answer the door, refused to eat. At last Stuart, who had some idea what was going on – but little beyond a general sense of Kalina's unhappiness, forced her to swallow down some breakfast cereal.
“I feel too sick,” said Kalina. She could not look at him. She could not look at anybody. She felt like such a fool – stringing along all of the Greystone brothers before throwing them all over for Octavius, only to get her heart broken in the end. She was angry at herself, feeling almost as if she deserved the pain. But Stuart didn't blame her.
“That's because you haven't eaten in three days,” said Stuart gently. “Besides, you need your energy for a flight.”
“We're...leaving?” Deep down, Kalina had hoped that Octavius would change his mind – would come back to her – would apologize... but she had not seen him since she slammed that door in his face during that terrible argument.
“Flight back to Frisco tonight.”
“No!” Kalina hugged herself tighter.
“Come on,” Stuart touched her hair lightly. “You'll be happy to see Maeve again. And your brother. He thinks you're with me in Aspen...”
Of course. Justin didn't even know that Stuart and Kalina were no longer a couple.
“I'm sure he's just as worried about that,” said Kalina. Nevertheless, she forced down a few spoonfuls of cereal.
They arrived early the next morning into San Francisco; Stuart and Jaegar drove Kalina home. She was still shell-shocked from the events of the past few weeks. Seeing Rutherford again was like seeing something out of a dream. It seemed so strange to her now – the little white houses, the trees, the golden sunlight, the cul-de-sacs. She had been in a world of such magic and mystery – and such pain – that Rutherford seemed impossibly small to her. She could not be happy to be home.
Of course Octavius would have tired of her, she told herself. She was just some stupid teenager, an eighteen-year-old girl who had never left California before, who cared about idiotic things like clothes and cheerleading. How Octavius must have cringed when she talked about her cheerleading tryouts, her college applications! No wonder he hadn't wanted her. The tears stood still and heavy in her eyes.
She did not speak to Aaron, to Jaegar, or to Stuart, beyond the occasional “thanks” and “hey” and “turn left, here.” It was clear that they knew something was wrong – that she was involved somehow with Octavius – that it was over between them – and yet she could not bring herself to discuss it, so afraid was she of spilling over into tears. “Choose one of the brothers,” Octavius had said. But all she could think of was Octavius himself.
She greeted Justin with red rings about her eyes.
Chapter 18
“Didn't you have a nice time?” Justin asked her.
She shrugged. “It was okay.”
She locked the door.
The next few days were even harder. Little things – like Justin's frozen lasagna or the sound of the birds outside her window – infuriated her, reminded her that she was in a small town in a small world, that she had been so close to something real, something beautiful, and that she had been found wanting – too young, too immature, too naïve.
Or maybe it had all just been a lie. Maybe Octavius was telling the truth about compulsion. Kalina wasn't sure what to believe anymore.
At last the first piece of good news came to lift her from her torpor. When Kalina came downstairs one morning soon after, she found a letter on the hallway table, marked clearly “Yale Department of Admissions.”
Yale! In the chaos of this month, she'd almost forgotten that she had applied for early decision.
Dear Kalina,
We are delighted to grant you early admission to the class of...
It was the first smile Kalina had smiled in weeks. It had been her dream for so long – for a moment, as she clasped the envelope to her breast, she felt that at last there was something outside the world of vampires and dangers that had so sucked her in the past few months – that there was a world of sunlight, of New England ivy and college classes, of courses on the Italian Renaissance (Octavius! The Castel St. Angelo) and French literature (walks along the Seine!)
She resolved to share this good news with Jaegar. She drove down to the old wineries, finding Jaegar standing on patrol on the terrace.
“Long time no see, Miss Kalina.”
She bounded onto the terrace. “Take a look at this.” She handed him the admissions letter.
He scanned the page. “We are delighted to grant you...well done, Kalina!” He grinned at her. “Not that any of us had any doubt.”
“If I don't get it rescinded after all the classes I've missed this semester...” She laughed lamely, but Jaegar's smile warmed her heart. He looked at her with such sincere admiration, such sincere joy, that Kalina could not resist thinking back to what they'd had, or almost had, before she'd left with Octavius.
“But...aren't you going to be in Italy?” Jaegar asked, and she could see his lips tighten with unexpressed jealousy.
“Nope,” said Kalina, a little too harshly. “I'm staying right here. Or at least, in this country.”
The sight of Jaegar's smile taking on a new dimension was reassuring to her. At least he still wanted her; after all they had been through. He would never use compulsion to make her love him – at least, not beyond that first flirtation – he would never lie to her, never break her heart. For all their witty banter and teasing, for all his cocky behavior, Jaegar was a good vampire at heart – as eager and straightforward as she was.
She felt a twinge of guilt as she took Jaegar's hand, but it quickly dissipated.
Fine, she thought to herself. If Octavius wants me to pick a brother, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
She leaned in and pressed her mouth against Jaegar's. He started in surprise.
“Kalina, what are you...”
“Don't talk.”
His lips were sweet; his arms were reassuring. She wanted to feel them wrapped tightly about her, squeezing out her pain, squeezing out her hurt, until there was nothing there but her desire and oblivion.
He responded at first to her ardor, kissing her back with all the delight and joy born out of weeks of waiting for her.
“I thought I'd lost you,” he was whispering. “I was so scared you were gone for good.”
“I'm here.” She led him into the house, pushing him down onto the bed.
So, Octavius thought she was just a little girl? She'd show him.
Even Jaegar seemed surprised at Kalina's direct approach, as she straddled him and began unbuttoning his shirt.
“I don't understand,” he said. “I thought you and Octavius...”
“I don't want to talk about that,” she said. She wanted to erase every memory of Octavius from her body, replace it with something newer, something better. She wanted to do with Jaegar all that she and Octavius had left undone – so that when her blood began to run hot, so that when she thought of desire, Octavius’ face would stop appearing before her...
She ripped off her blouse – she threw Jaegar's shirt over the arm of the sofa. With nimble gestures, she reached for the zipper to his jeans...
“Come on.”
“Are you sure?”
“I want to!” Her voice didn't even sound like her own. “I've been waiting for this ever since I had to leave.”
“Look, Kalina, I'm not complaining.” He caught hold of her wrists. “Just, slow down for a second, okay?”
“I don't want to slow down!” she shouted, unaware of the tears gathering in her eyes. “I'm eighteen. Four bloody sexy vampires want me. And I'm sick and tired of this stupid spell. I just want to have sex already!”
“Oh, thanks.” Jaegar sat up.
“I don't see you complaining. Now just – lie back, okay!”
“Kalina, please, stop!” He pushed her off him. “I didn't realize I was just there.”
“It's not like you haven't done it with loads of girls.”
“Yeah, you know what?” He wiped his mouth and started putting on his shirt. “I never treated any of them like you just treated me.”
“What are you talking about?” Kalina's fear and rage and pain were all seeping back in. “You always wanted to...”
“I wanted you to want me, Kalina. Not just whoever was willing. I wanted you to want to be with me. And if you think I'm so desperate I'm about to have sex with you just because you're – I don't know – bored, or hurt, or whatever, or you and Octavius had some fight...”
“Don't you even talk about Octavius!”
“Whatever.” Jaegar snapped. “I'm not interested, okay? I waited for you for months. I fought with my brothers over you. I risked my life over you. And you don't want me? Fine. But I don't want to be your second-choice. And I definitely don't want to be your last-minute booty call.”
Kalina flushed. His words rang true.
“That's not what I...”
“Forget it!” Jaegar had finished buttoning up his shirt. “I'm sick of this, Kalina – you leading us all on. You know how I feel about you. You know how much I want to. And you're just – just using me. Like you accuse vampires of using humans. Just for the blood.”
“You're overreacting!”
“Lovers quarrel?” came a voice from behind them. It was a voice they both knew well, and the sound of Mal's menacing cackle filled their blood with terror.
They froze.
Chapter 19
“No,” Kalina whispered. “No.” But it was too late. She felt that same familiar chill in her blood that she had felt in those horrendous hours beneath the Seine, in the ruins of the Bibliotheque Supernaturel. Mal was standing before them, his razor-sharp cheekbones cutting against the air, his face alive with cruelty.
“So, little girl,” he was saying. “You thought you could escape me.”
She shivered. Octavius was not here now, and she knew that none of the other vampires could stand a chance without him.
“But I followed you. Your pain – your sadness – your poor ex-boyfriend Octavius – it was so easily for me to slip into your brain, to feel all that delicious agony.”
“Get away from her!” Jaegar cried.
“And who are you to stop me?” Mal leered at him. “A piddling mediocre vampire in love with his maker's whore?”
“How dare you!” Jaegar leaped forward.
“She'll never love you. Look at her eyes. Look at her face. She's pining after that miserable scion of honor Octavius. Poor girl...and soon, she'll be mine!”
The door flung open. Stuart and Aaron rushed in, both armed with a stake in each hand and their fangs bared, ready for action.
Kalina burst into flight. She ran to the fireplace, where she knew there was stashed an extra array of battle materials. She grabbed a stake.
“The girl thinks she can fight? She's no vampire...”
Kalina raised the stake, as Aaron rushed towards Mal, slashing his stake wildly. Mal easily stepped aside.
“You thought you had me beaten.” Mal laughed. “But now it is you who will pay the price...”
“Coward!” Kalina cried through her rage. “Why don't you pick on someone your own size?”
Mal whirled around to face her. “Like you, for instance?”
She fell behind the others, holding up her stake. Jaegar, feint left. Jaegar did so, distracting Mal long enough for Kalina to slash at his right side with a stake, leaving a jagged scar down the edge of his neck.
“I've had the blood,” Mal laughed. “Nothing can kill me.”
“Yeah,” Kalina muttered. “I sure can try.”
Silly girl. Thinking you can play with the vampires. You're only a stupid child, an idiotic teenager. No wonder Octavius doesn't want you.
“Stop it!” Kalina shouted. “Stop it!”
I bet he's moved on already. Found another cute girl to play with. Maybe Olive. Maybe someone new. Someone older, more experienced. Someone who knows how to give him pleasure – the kind of pleasure you can never give...foolish child. Did you honestly think he would love you?
“Stop it!”
Kalina put her hands to her ears.
And now not even Jaegar wants you. You're damaged goods. You may be a virgin, technically, but you're no innocent -and he can smell it. We can all smell it.
Kalina channeled her rage into a single, frenzied swoop.
And then time seemed to stand still. Stuart, Aaron, and Jaegar were all moving in slow-motion; Mal too was frozen, as if moving in molasses, and yet Kalina was still running, lunging at normal speed, driving her stake deep into Mal's heart, seeing black blood spurt out from where she pierced it. And then she had withdrawn the stake and run across the room – and suddenly time sped up again. Mal was screaming in pain, blood spurting out of the wound – her blood along with his – and Kalina was twenty paces away, and Mal was looking around, wildly, for a sign of his invisible attacker.
Before Kalina could register what had happened, Mal had seized upon Stuart, his fangs closing in upon his neck.
“No!” But Kalina's shout was lost in a spray of blood, as Mal bit a gory chunk of flesh out of Stuart's neck, sinking Stuart down to the ground in a viscous layer of flesh and nerve.
“Stuart!” Aaron rushed forward to his brother, groaning out the barest hint of life, but it was too late. Mal had caught him. No sooner was Aaron close enough to Mal than he was seized in a single, pouncing motion.
You're next, little girl.
And then Mal was gone, vanished with Aaron into nothingness.
“What happened?” cried Kalina.
Jaegar's face was white. “They transported – transported...they could be anywhere.”
Stuart was groaning out the last of his strength onto the floor.
“You take care of Stuart – I'll track them down.”
“Jaegar, no! It's too dangerous!”
But Jaegar's ears were closed to her entreaties. Without a parting glance, he ran out into the night, gaining in speed until he was no more than a moving blur and then an invisible ripple upon the wind.
Kalina sighed as she caught her breath. “Stuart” she cried, running to the motionless figure on the floor.
She rushed to his side, kneeling down in the pool of Stuart's blood that was spreading readily across the carpet, soaking her skirts. “Stuart, can you hear me?”
A low moan was her only answer.
They were running out of time. She quickly made a torniquet out of her blouse – still lying where she had so shamefully torn it off on the floor, and did what she could to stop the bleeding from the neck.
“It's – not – so – bad.” Stuart had regained enough strength to speak, but even that was fleeting.
She squeezed his hand. “Oh, Stuart, I'm so sorry.”
They hadn't spoken properly – had more than a few words alone together since their fight and their subsequent implied breakup after Maeve.
“I'm so sorry about everything – about Maeve – and about getting jealous, and about leaving...and never resolving anything properly.”
Stuart gave a low, pained chuckled. “We're – complicated.”
“I didn't mean to hurt you,” she said. “It's just – everything was happening at once.”
He nodded.
“I should have ended things properly – instead of this mess I've made. I didn't mean to – I didn't. And I do care about you so much.” She squeezed his hand again. “You mean so, so much to me – you have no idea how much...you showed me how to be a vampire. How to be kind and strong at the same time. You showed me what I needed to do to protect myself. I'm only sorry I couldn't protect you.”
“I guess we're broken up, huh?” He tried to smile through his pain.
“It's so much more than that,” said Kalina. “You will always be so important to me. And if I could give you my blood – if I could make you human – I'd do it, in a heartbeat.”
Stuart shook his head. “Don't give it to me, Kalina...it will only make me cruel, make me mad like Mal – if I'm not...”
“My true love?”
He nodded.
“I do love you,” said Kalina. “Maybe not like I love – I loved – Octavius, but in my way.”
“That's all I ask.”
He raised himself on his elbows, exerting the last bit of energy he had.
“Kalina,” he whispered.
“What is it, Stuart?”
“I want you to know,” he said, his voice cracking as it grew hoarse. “It wasn't your blood I wanted. Not ever. Not now. It was you.” He sighed. “It was always you.”
“Stuart!”
Stuart closed his eyes, slipping into the slow sleep that came before death.
“Help!” Kalina called to the sky, to the ceiling. “Help me!”
But there was no answer. Jaegar had vanished into the night, in hot pursuit of Aaron and Mal. And there was nobody else she could call, nobody else who could come, and Stuart's blood was still soaking through her blouse, and he was losing strength rapidly.
Octavius, she called. Please. Please...
Chapter 20
Kalina waited with Stuart's body, growing ever colder and stiffer as the life flowed out of him. Octavius, she called again. There was no other choice; Stuart had only minutes to live, if that. All her anger with Octavius, all her hurt and rage, paled next to the necessity of getting Stuart well again.
She leaned her head on Stuart's chest, knowing all the while that there would be no heartbeat there – there had not been a heartbeat there in nearly a thousand years. Still, the sensation was strange to her; she felt as if she had already lost Stuart, as if he were already dead to her, even as there was still a chance, still a chance.
“Kalina!” Octavius’ voice was rough with worry.
She whirled around, instinctively putting her hands over her body, covering herself. She was still in her bra after what had happened with Jaegar, the black lace soaked with Stuart's blood; her skirt soaked with Stuart's blood, her body covered with red and her eyes swollen with tears.
“What has happened here?” He looked down, clearly feeling awkward at discovering her in this state.
“Mal – Mal came, took Aaron. Jaegar ran after...”
“And left Stuart here to die?”
“Please!” Kalina was sobbing. “Please, don't let Stuart die.”
Octavius’ lips tightened. Could Kalina detect a layer of jealousy behind his cool, efficient reserve? No – it couldn't be. Octavius didn't love her – he had sent her away, he had told her it was only ever compulsion between them.
“Could you not give him your blood yourself?” he said stiffly. “You would cure him – and make him human...”
“It isn't like that!” Kalina shouted. “Please – just do something.”
Octavius enveloped her in his stare. Then, slowly, he bit into his own wrist, leaving great red marks where the puncture wounds had been left. He dripped the blood slowly into Stuart's mouth. Drop by drop, the blood seemed to revive him, bringing color to his cheeks, repairing the skin torn apart by Mal's fangs. Stuart moaned lightly as Octavius’ blood brought him, slowly, back to strength, one taste at a time.
“Octavius!” Stuart's voice was full of love – the reverential loyalty due his maker.
Octavius pressed his hand to Stuart's forehead. “Do not worry, child,” he whispered to Stuart. “Your maker is here. You will be well. I swear it.”
It was the first time Kalina had truly understood the bond between maker and made. As Octavius comforted Stuart, she saw Stuart's face take on a contented rapture – the face of a child brought home at last to its parents. So too did she see an unexpected tenderness in Octavius’ features – features she had forced herself to despise after what had happened in the chateau. For all his jealousy – his coldness towards her – Octavius was not prepared to let one of his own die.
When Octavius had finished, Stuart was restored to rosy life, falling immediately into a heavy, childish sleep.
Octavius took out a lace handkerchief, dabbed elegantly at the puncture wounds, and then turned to Kalina.
“He will be well,” he said, not looking at Kalina.
She cast her eyes downwards. “Thank you,” she said, trying not to let her lip tremble.
“You have chosen well,” said Octavius. “I would always have thought, of all the Greystone brothers, it is Stuart who is best suited to the mortal life. He longed for it most of all. It is he who is made most unhappy by its absence.”
“Stuart?”
“I am glad to see your life has regained balance.” He crossed past her. “And congratulations about Yale. I cannot say I am surprised.”
“Thank you,” said Kalina again, forcing herself to be as still and expressionless as possible.
At last he turned towards her. “Good luck with the boy,” he said. “Be good to him.”
“Stuart and I aren't...” Kalina flushed. “I mean – I'm not...”
“I see,” said Octavius. She could not deny the slight flush of relief in his cheeks. “My mistake.”
“Octavius!”
She could see that his effort to remain calm was beginning to exhaust him. “You are well, I hope?”
And then she could bear it no longer. “No,” she said softly. “I'm not. Not without you.”
He stopped short.
“You didn't use compulsion on me, did you?” She placed her hand on her hips. “Did you?”
He sighed. “I thought it was better,” said Octavius, “that you should hate me – that you should forget me – that you should think what we had was a mere trick, a mere lie...than for you to miss me.”
“I don't understand.”
“It is the only time I have ever lied to you, Kalina. And I am sorry for that. But I feared – I feared that if you should love me, if you should want me, I would not be able to be strong enough to make the choice I know I must make.”
“What choice?”
Octavius closed his eyes. “If I become human,” he said. “I cannot protect you. I am only ever a danger to you. I love you too much to let you waste your life on me. You have so much to give the world – and I cannot take you away from it, cannot turn you. Nor can I become human. Not with Mal on the loose. Not with all that must be done.”
“I don't care!” Kalina's tears had started again. “I don't care.”
He crossed quickly to her, gathering her up in his arms. “I didn't want to hurt you,” he said. “Believe me, hurting you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But when you were taken, I knew that my actions – my public search for you, my treaty with the Consortium, had only made your life more dangerous. I thought it best for you...”
“Let me decide what's best for me!” Kalina lost herself in his embrace, feeling her cheek hot against his icy marble chest.
And then their lips were together, so close together, almost touching, and at once the words they wanted to say, had for so long wanted to say, unscrambled themselves and they were speaking, together, on that plane of dreams.
I love you. I have always loved you.
I love you so much it hurts.
I don’t want to hurt you.
I missed you so much.
And Kalina could no longer discern which thoughts were hers and which were his, no longer separate out her tears, her entreaties from his own, as the words swirled together in their minds, free of owners, free of differentiation, connected only by their rushing cacophonies of love.
I love you, Kalina. You are my bloodmate.
You are mine. You are my vampire.
I’ve searched for you for centuries…I didn’t know what finding you would mean, how it would affect everyone, me…
“Please don't go,” Kalina drew away.
Octavius cupped her head in his hands. “I must,” he said. “I must find Jaegar and Aaron. I must protect them.
“Tell me you love me!” Kalina begged. “Aloud – I want to hear it out loud. I want you to stay.”
“I cannot,” Octavius sighed. “Not with Mal out there.”
“But it's you...” her voice trailed off. “You're the one.”
“I know,” he said softly. “Now you know why I’ve searched so hard for you. Why I have to find you. It is why you first fell for the brothers – the ones I made. Their blood in me. It is why they fell for you – my blood in them. Everything that you have felt before me – everything I have felt before you – is but an echo, an echo of this. And it kills me – oh, Kalina, it kills me – that I cannot stay...with you.”
He kissed her forehead, gently.
“I will always be thinking those words – words I cannot allow myself to speak. And you need only to close your eyes, to think of me, and you will hear me think them.”
I love you.
He pulled away. “But do not think of me too much,” he said. “It will not make you happy. And I want nothing in the world more than for you to be happy.”
“Octavius!”
But it was too late. He was gone.
Epilogue
Kalina.
She whirled around. Had Octavius returned? Had he changed his mind?
Kalina.
No, it wasn't Octavius’ voice. But it wasn't Mal's, either. It was a voice she had not heard in her head for a while.
Jaegar? Where are you? Have you found Aaron?
In the back of her mind, images began to form. Mal, stained with blood, victorious in battle, standing over Jaegar with a smile that looked like death. Aaron, chained to a wall, beaten, his body pockmarked with scars. Mal, pacing back and forth, tying up Jaegar with silver chains, tying him to a chair – a chair she recognized all too well...
Jaegar, are you alright?
I'm so sorry, Kalina.
Her heart stopped.
For everything I said. I didn't mean it – I was angry – I was upset – hurt.
No, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it, either.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Kalina, you have to know.
Have to know what?
No matter what happened – no matter that we never...that we can't...will never...I want you to know how much I loved you. How much I cared. I thought it was all about the killing, women, blood – I thought humanity was for the weak. And then I met you. And you changed all that. And you made me love. And you made my pulse beat for the first time in seven hundred years. I’ve never felt more alive than with you.
Jaegar, where are you?
She looked around, wildly, but saw only the empty room around her, and Stuart sleeping on the couch.
Not with blood, Kalina – but with love.
An image of Jaegar, strapped to the chair, struggling against where the silver seared his flesh.
Stuart?
Stuart's fine. Octavius helped him.
Tell him I love him, Kalina. Just like I'm telling you. No matter what happens to me – no matter what I become...I will always love you.
What are you talking about?
And then she saw Mal standing over Jaegar, with a hypodermic needle, a tube, and a vial of blood.
Kalina's blood.
She knew what would happen to any vampire who ingested that blood. He would become immortal, powerful beyond belief, faster than light itself. And more evil than she could ever imagine.
Jaegar, no!
She felt her healed wounds all begin to burn, her old puncture marks seared in agony, as she saw Mal jab the needle into Jaegar's arm, and begin squeezing the tube.
Jaegar!
Kalina I love you - I'll never stop – please forgive me for what I’ll become – it won’t change how I feel about you – nothing will change that!
And in the agony that followed, Kalina heard only silence.
*******************
PULSE continues in
Book 3 of PULSE
Blood Burned
November 2010
Excerpt from
Daughters of Dracula
The Stoker Sisters: Book 1
kailin gow
Prologue
8
Dorset, England 1818
The sun was faint as it made its way through the veil of clouds that obscured the sky and shone down on Stoker Manor. Sadie’s desire to keep her fair skin from being touched by the sun made these days the most enjoyable of all. The small bonnet she wore over her flaxen hair barely shielded her from its penetrating rays.
Seated near the garden she breathed in the pleasant saltiness of the ocean air as she threw herself in the Jane Austen novel she was reading. The young woman she’d met the year before in Bath had inspirational talent and Sadie held to the hope she could one day have the ability to write with such flourish, even if female authors were frowned upon.
“I’m feeling a bit chilled,” Alexis complained as she set down her copy of the same novel. Always a little more daring in her attire, her shoulders were almost completely exposed. She’d even had the gumption to pull her skirt up well past her knee.
Sadie should have been mortified by such a scandalous act, but Alexis had always had a penchant for shocking people. Alexis, at nineteen, was older than Sadie less than two years, yet she was the sister whom their parents fraught over constantly.
“Perhaps a shawl would do the trick.” Alexis stood and gazed out at the horizon. The ocean, with its ceaseless breeze, crashed on the beach below. “The cool air will only grow colder with the day.”
Alexis turned to head towards the manor, but the moment Sadie noticed the young, handsome man approaching them, she knew Alexis would not be going anywhere.
With the charm and eloquence of a young lady about to be presented in society, Alexis curtsied, smiled and did all she could to capture the young man’s interest.
“Terribly sorry to disturb you,” he said, his blues eyes twinkling behind the black wave of hair that fell over them. “But I seem to have lost my way.”
Alexis tossed her thick raven hair off her face and swayed her hips as she stepped closer to him. She was flushed, her smoldering dark eyes glittering with admiring excitement. “I’d be more than delighted to guide you to your destination, my kind sir.”
“I’m searching for Stoker Manor. I’ve some pressing matters to tend to with the Mayor in town and was told I could find a room to stay.”
A low rumble came from Alexis’ throat as she chuckled, keeping a seductive eye on the startling blue of his. “How fortunate. Your search has come to an end.”
Sadie watched her sister’s antics with a blend of disdain and awe. The young man was clearly one of the most physically-gifted men the two sisters have laid eyes on. He was finely dressed in a silk and wool tailored coat, a brocade vest, and white silk shirt that opened a tad more than most men’s shirts. His cream breeches filled out with muscular legs, legs that were used to physical exertion, but he held himself straight and tall, the posture of a noble-born. Sadie had never observed a man this closely, yet she could not take her eyes away from him.
“Splendid. I was indeed hoping I was at the right place.” His eyes bore through Alexis’ for an intense moment before he turned to greet Sadie. “This is even more enchanting than I’d imagined.”
About the Author
Kailin Gow is the bestselling author of over 40 books. As a teenager, she was a voracious reader, who always had one or two books with her at all times. A self-professed nerd, she even thought AP English and AP History was fun. She was on her newspaper staff, participated in drama productions, was on the yearbook staff, played sports, competed in kung fu, played violin, and yes, was even on the pep squad at one point.
Her books include the bestselling Gifted Girls Series, The Frost Series, The Phantom Diaries Series, The Stoker Sisters Series, PULSE Vampire Series, Queen B Superheroine, The Wordwick Games Series, The Alchemists Academy, Harold the Kung Fu Kid, and Shy Girls Social Club. Her books have been recommended by PBS Kids, the PTA, US Mental Health Association, homeschooling organizations, and mother-daughter book clubs.
She holds a Master's Degree Communications Management from USC's Annenberg School of Communication, and Bachelor’s Degrees in Drama and Social Ecology from UC Irvine. She is a mother, a mentor for young women, and the founder of the social group for teen and young adult girls called Shy Girls Social Club at where girls can develop positive friendships and skills in the creative field. Members of Shy Girls Social Club can get a chance to win prizes, scholarships, and internships.
You can find Shy Girls Social Club at:
http://www.shygirlssocialclub.com
Find Kailin Gow at:
http://www.kailingow.wordpress.com