A Study in Emerald by
Neil Gaiman
Nominated for the 2004 Hugo Award - Best Short
Story See the full list of
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From
Shadows Over Baker Street copyright ©2003 by John Pelan
and Michael Reaves. "A Study in Emerald" copyright ©2003 by Neil
Gaiman.
A Study in Emerald.
I. The New Friend.
Fresh From Their Stupendous European
Tour, where they performed before several of the CROWNED HEADS OF
EUROPE, garnering their plaudits and praise with magnificent
dramatic performances, combining both COMEDY and TRAGEDY, the
Strand Players wish to make it known that they shall
be appearing at the Royal Court Theatre, Drury Lane, for a LIMITED
ENGAGEMENT in April, at which they will present “My Look-Alike
Brother Tom!” “The Littlest Violet-Seller” and “The
Great Old Ones Come,” ( this last an Historical Epic of
Pageantry and Delight); each an entire play in one act! Tickets are
available now from the Box Office.
It is the immensity, I
believe. The hugeness of things below. The darkness of
dreams.
But I am woolgathering. Forgive me. I am not a
literary man.
I had been in need of lodgings. That was how I
met him. I wanted someone to share the cost of rooms with me. We
were introduced by a mutual acquaintance, in the chemical
laboratories of St. Bart’s. “You have been in Afghanistan, I
perceive,” that was what he said to me, and my mouth fell open and
my eyes opened very wide.
“Astonishing,” I said.
“Not
really,” said the stranger in the white lab-coat, who was to become
my friend. “From the way you hold your arm, I see you have been
wounded, and in a particular way. You have a deep tan. You also have
a military bearing, and there are few enough places in the Empire
that a military man can be both tanned and, given the nature of the
injury to your shoulder and the traditions of the Afghan cave-folk,
tortured.”
Put like that, of course, it was absurdly simple.
But then, it always was. I had been tanned nut-brown. And I had
indeed, as he had observed, been tortured.
The gods and men
of Afghanistan were savages, unwilling to be ruled from Whitehall or
from Berlin or even from Moscow, and unprepared to see reason. I had
been sent into those hills, attached to the ______th Regiment. As
long as the fighting remained in the hills and mountains, we fought
on an equal footing. When the skirmishes descended into the caves
and the darkness then we found ourselves, as it were, out of our
depth and in over our heads.
I shall not forget the mirrored
surface of the underground lake, nor the thing that emerged from the
lake, its eyes opening and closing, and the singing whispers that
accompanied it as it rose, wreathing their way about it like the
buzzing of flies bigger than worlds.
That I survived was a
miracle, but survive I did, and I returned to England with my nerves
in shreds and tatters. The place that leech-like mouth had touched
me was tattooed forever, frog-white, into the skin of my
now-withered shoulder. I had once been a crack-shot. Now I had
nothing, save a fear of the world-beneath-the-world akin to panic
which meant that I would gladly pay sixpence of my army pension for
a Hansom cab, rather than a penny to travel
underground.
Still, the fogs and darknesses of London
comforted me, took me in. I had lost my first lodgings because I
screamed in the night. I had been in Afghanistan; I was there no
longer.
“I scream in the night,” I told him.
“I have
been told that I snore,” he said. “Also I keep irregular hours, and
I often use the mantelpiece for target practice. I will need the
sitting room to meet clients. I am selfish, private and easily
bored. Will this be a problem?”
I smiled, and I shook my
head, and extended my hand. We shook on it.
The rooms he had
found for us, in Baker Street, were more than adequate for two
bachelors. I bore in mind all my friend had said about his desire
for privacy, and I forbore from asking what it was he did for a
living. Still, there was much to pique my curiosity. Visitors would
arrive at all hours, and when they did I would leave the sitting
room and repair to my bedroom, pondering what they could have in
common with my friend: the pale woman with one eye bone-white, the
small man who looked like a commercial traveller, the portly dandy
in his velvet jacket, and the rest. Some were frequent visitors,
many others came only once, spoke to him, and left, looking troubled
or looking satisfied.
He was a mystery to me.
We were
partaking of one of our landlady’s magnificent breakfasts one
morning, when my friend rang the bell to summon that good lady.
“There will be a gentleman joining us, in about four minutes,” he
said. “We will need another place at table.”
“Very good,” she
said, “I’ll put more sausages under the grill.”
My friend
returned to perusing his morning paper. I waited for an explanation
with growing impatience. Finally, I could stand it no longer. “I
don’t understand. How could you know that in four minutes we would
be receiving a visitor? There was no telegram, no message of any
kind.”
He smiled, thinly. “You did not hear the clatter of a
brougham several minutes ago? It slowed as it passed us – obviously
as the driver identified our door, then it sped up and went past, up
into the Marylebone Road. There is a crush of carriages and taxicabs
letting off passengers at the railway station and at the waxworks,
and it is in that crush that anyone wishing to alight without being
observed will go. The walk from there to here is but four
minutes...”
He glanced at his pocket-watch, and as he did so
I heard a tread on the stairs outside.
“Come in, Lestrade,”
he called. “The door is ajar, and your sausages are just coming out
from under the grill.”
A man I took to be Lestrade opened the
door, then closed it carefully behind him. “I should not,” he said,
“But truth to tell, I have had not had a chance to break my fast
this morning. And I could certainly do justice to a few of those
sausages.” He was the small man I had observed on several occasions
previously, whose demeanour was that of a traveller in rubber
novelties or patent nostrums.
My friend waited until our
landlady had left the room, before he said, “Obviously, I take it
this is a matter of national importance.”
“My stars,” said
Lestrade, and he paled. “Surely the word cannot be out already. Tell
me it is not.” He began to pile his plate high with sausages, kipper
fillets, kedgeree and toast, but his hands shook, a
little.
“Of course not,” said my friend. “I know the squeak
of your brougham wheels, though, after all this time: an oscillating
G sharp above high C. And if Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard
cannot publically be seen to come into the parlour of London’s only
consulting detective, yet comes anyway, and without having had his
breakfast, then I know that this is not a routine case. Ergo, it
involves those above us and is a matter of national
importance.”
Lestrade dabbed egg yolk from his chin with his
napkin. I stared at him. He did not look like my idea of a police
inspector, but then, my friend looked little enough like my idea of
a consulting detective – whatever that might be.
“Perhaps we
should discuss the matter privately,” Lestrade said, glancing at
me.
My friend began to smile, impishly, and his head moved on
his shoulders as it did when he was enjoying a private joke.
“Nonsense,” he said. “Two heads are better than one. And what is
said to one of us is said to us both.”
“If I am intruding –“
I said, gruffly, but he motioned me to silence.
Lestrade
shrugged. “It’s all the same to me,” he said, after a moment. “If
you solve the case then I have my job. If you don’t, then I have no
job. You use your methods, that’s what I say. It can’t make things
any worse.”
“If there’s one thing that a study of history has
taught us, it is that things can always get worse,” said my friend.
“When do we go to Shoreditch?”
Lestrade dropped his fork.
“This is too bad!” he exclaimed. “Here you were, making sport of me,
when you know all about the matter! You should be ashamed
–“
“No one has told me anything of the matter. When a police
inspector walks into my room with fresh splashes of mud of that
peculiar mustard yellow hue on his boots and trouser-legs, I can
surely be forgiven for presuming that he has recently walked past
the diggings at Hobbs Lane, in Shoreditch, which is the only place
in London that particular mustard-coloured clay seems to be
found.”
Inspector Lestrade looked embarrassed. “Now you put
it like that,” he said, “It seems so obvious.”
My friend
pushed his plate away from him. “Of course it does,” he said,
slightly testily.
We rode to the East End in a cab. Inspector
Lestrade had walked up to the Marylebone Road to find his brougham,
and left us alone.
“So you are truly a consulting detective?”
I said.
“The only one in London, or perhaps, the world,” said
my friend. “I do not take cases. Instead, I consult. Others bring me
their insoluble problems, they describe them, and, sometimes, I
solve them.”
“Then those people who come to
you...”
“Are, in the main, police officers, or are detectives
themselves, yes.”
It was a fine morning, but we were now
jolting about the edges of the rookery of St Giles, that warren of
thieves and cutthroats which sits on London like a cancer on the
face of a pretty flower-seller, and the only light to enter the cab
was dim and faint.
“Are you sure that you wish me along with
you?”
In reply my friend stared at me without blinking. “I
have a feeling,” he said. “I have a feeling that we were meant to be
together. That we have fought the good fight, side by side, in the
past or in the future, I do not know. I am a rational man, but I
have learned the value of a good companion, and from the moment I
clapped eyes on you, I knew I trusted you as well as I do myself.
Yes. I want you with me.”
I blushed, or said something
meaningless. For the first time since Afghanistan, I felt that I had
worth in the world.
2. The
Room.
Victor’s “Vitae”! An electrical fluid! Do
your limbs and nether regions lack life? Do you look back on the
days of your youth with envy? Are the pleasures of the flesh now
buried and forgot? Victor’s “Vitae” will bring life where
life has long been lost: even the oldest warhorse can be a proud
stallion once more! Bringing Life to the Dead: from an old family
recipe and the best of modern science. To receive signed
attestations of the efficacy of Victor’s “Vitae” write to the
V. von F. Company, 1b Cheap Street, London.
It was a
cheap rooming house in Shoreditch. There was a policeman at the
front door. Lestrade greeted him by name, and made to usher us in,
and I was ready to enter, but my friend squatted on the doorstep,
and pulled a magnifying glass from his coat pocket. He examined the
mud on the wrought iron boot-scraper, prodding at it with his
forefinger. Only when he was satisfied would he let us go
inside.
We walked upstairs. The room in which the crime had
been committed was obvious: it was flanked by two burly
constables.
Lestrade nodded to the men, and they stood aside.
We walked in.
I am not, as I said, a writer by profession,
and I hesitate to describe that place, knowing that my words cannot
do it justice. Still, I have begun this narrative, and I fear I must
continue. A murder had been committed in that little bedsit. The
body, what was left of it, was still there, on the floor. I saw it,
but, at first, somehow, I did not see it. What I saw instead was
what had sprayed and gushed from the throat and chest of the victim:
in colour it ranged from bile-green to grass-green. It had soaked
into the threadbare carpet and spattered the wallpaper. I imagined
it for one moment the work of some hellish artist, who had decided
to create a study in emerald.
After what seemed like a
hundred years I looked down at the body, opened like a rabbit on a
butcher’s slab, and tried to make sense of what I saw. I removed my
hat, and my friend did the same.
He knelt and inspected the
body, inspecting the cuts and gashes. Then he pulled out his
magnifying glass, and walked over to the wall, examining the gouts
of drying ichor.
“We’ve already done that,” said Inspector
Lestrade.
“Indeed?” said my friend. “Then what did you make
of this, then? I do believe it is a word.”
Lestrade walked to
the place my friend was standing, and looked up. There was a word,
written in capitals, in green blood, on the faded yellow wallpaper,
some little way above Lestrade’s head. “Rache...?” said Lestrade,
spelling it out. “Obviously he was going to write Rachel, but he was
interrupted. So -- we must look for a woman...”
My friend
said nothing. He walked back to the corpse, and picked up its hands,
one after the other. The fingertips were clean of ichor. “I think we
have established that the word was not written by his Royal Highness
–“
“What the Devil makes you say–?”
“My dear Lestrade.
Please give me some credit for having a brain. The corpse is
obviously not that of a man – the colour of his blood, the number of
limbs, the eyes, the position of the face, all these things bespeak
the blood royal. While I cannot say which royal line, I would hazard
that he is an heir, perhaps... no, second to the throne, ... in one
of the German principalities.”
“That is amazing.” Lestrade
hesitated, then he said, “This is Prince Franz Drago of Bohemia. He
was here in Albion as a guest of Her Majesty Victoria. Here for a
holiday and a change of air...”
“For the theatres, the whores
and the gaming tables, you mean.”
“If you say so.” Lestrade
looked put out. “Anyway, you’ve given us a fine lead with this
Rachel woman. Although I don’t doubt we would have found her on our
own.”
“Doubtless,” said my friend.
He inspected the
room further, commenting acidly several times that the police, with
their boots had obscured footprints, and moved things that might
have been of use to anyone attempting to reconstruct the events of
the previous night.
Still, he seemed interested in a small
patch of mud he found behind the door.
Beside the fireplace
he found what appeared to be some ash or dirt.
“Did you see
this?” he asked Lestrade.
“Her majesty’s police,” replied
Lestrade, “tend not to be excited by ash in a fireplace. It’s where
ash tends to be found.” And he chuckled at that.
My friend
took a pinch of the ash and rubbed between his fingers, then sniffed
the remains. Finally, he scooped up what was left of the material
and tipped it into a glass vial, which he stoppered and placed in an
inner pocket of his coat.
He stood up. “And the
body?”
Lestrade said, “The palace will send their own
people.”
My friend nodded at me, and together we walked to
the door. My friend sighed. “Inspector. Your quest for Miss Rachel
may prove fruitless. Among other things, Rache is a German word. It
means revenge. Check your dictionary. There are other
meanings.”
We reached the bottom of the stair, and walked out
onto the street. “You have never seen royalty before this morning,
have you?” he asked. I shook my head. “Well, the sight can be
unnerving, if you’re unprepared. Why my good fellow – you are
trembling!”
“Forgive me. I shall be fine in
moments.”
“Would it do you good to walk?” he asked, and I
assented, certain that if I did not walk then I would begin to
scream.
“West, then,” said my friend, pointing to the dark
tower of the Palace. And we commenced to walk.
“So,” said my
friend, after some time. “You have never had any personal encounters
with any of the crowned heads of Europe?”
“No,” I
said.
“I believe I can confidently state that you shall,” he
told me. “And not with a corpse this time. Very soon.”
“My
dear fellow, whatever makes you believe –?”
In reply he
pointed to a carriage, black-painted, that had pulled up fifty yards
ahead of us. A man in a black top-hat and a greatcoat stood by the
door, holding it open, waiting, silently. A coat of arms familiar to
every child in Albion was painted in gold upon the carriage
door.
“There are invitations one does not refuse,” said my
friend. He doffed his own hat to the footman, and I do believe that
he was smiling as he climbed into the box-like space, and relaxed
back into the soft leathery cushions.
When I attempted to
speak with him during the journey to the Palace, he placed his
finger over his lips. Then he closed his eyes and seemed sunk deep
in thought. I, for my part, tried to remember what I knew of German
royalty, but, apart from the Queen’s consort, Prince Albert, being
German, I knew little enough.
I put a hand in my pocket,
pulled out a handful of coins – brown and silver, black and
copper-green. I stared at the portrait stamped on each of them of
our Queen, and felt both patriotic pride and stark dread. I told
myself I had once been a military man, and a stranger to fear, and I
could remember a time when this had been the plain truth. For a
moment I remembered a time when I had been a crack-shot – even, I
liked to think, something of a marksman – but my right hand shook as
if it were palsied, and the coins jingled and chinked, and I felt
only regret.
3. The Palace.
At Long
Last Doctor Henry Jekyll is proud to announce the general release of
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The Queen’s consort,
Prince Albert, was a big man, with an impressive handlebar moustache
and a receding hairline, and he was undeniably and entirely human.
He met us in the corridor, nodded to my friend and to me, did not
ask us for our names or offer to shake hands.
“The Queen is
most upset,” he said. He had an accent. He pronounced his S’s as
Z’s: Mozt. Upzet. “Franz was one of her favourites. She has so many
nephews. But he made her laugh so. You will find the ones who did
this to him.”
“I will do my best,” said my friend.
“I
have read your monographs,” said Prince Albert. “It was I who told
them that you should be consulted. I hope I did right.”
“As
do I,” said my friend.
And then the great door was opened,
and we were ushered into the darkness and the presence of the
Queen.
She was called Victoria, because she had beaten us in
battle, seven hundred years before, and she was called Gloriana,
because she was glorious, and she was called the Queen, because the
human mouth was not shaped to say her true name. She was huge, huger
than I had imagined possible, and she squatted in the shadows
staring down at us, without moving.
Thizsz muzzst be
zsolved. The words came from the shadows.
“Indeed,
ma’am,” said my friend.
A limb squirmed and pointed at me.
Zstepp forward.
I wanted to walk. My legs would not
move.
My friend came to my rescue then. He took me by the
elbow and walked me toward her majesty.
Isz not to be
afraid. Isz to be worthy. Isz to be a companion. That was what
she said to me. Her voice was a very sweet contralto, with a distant
buzz. Then the limb uncoiled and extended, and she touched my
shoulder. There was a moment, but only a moment, of a pain deeper
and more profound than anything I have ever experienced, and then it
was replaced by a pervasive sense of well-being. I could feel the
muscles in my shoulder relax, and, for the first time since
Afghanistan, I was free from pain.
Then my friend walked
forward. Victoria spoke to him, yet I could not hear her words; I
wondered if they went, somehow, directly from her mind to his, if
this was the Queen’s Counsel I had read about in the histories. He
replied aloud.
“Certainly, ma’am. I can tell you that there
were two other men with your nephew in that room in Shoreditch, that
night, the footprints were, although obscured, unmistakable.” And
then, “Yes. I understand.... I believe so..... Yes.”
He was
quiet when we left the palace, and said nothing to me as we rode
back to Baker Street.
It was dark already. I wondered how
long we had spent in the Palace.
Fingers of sooty fog twined
across the road and the sky.
Upon our return to Baker Street,
in the looking glass of my room, I observed that the frog-white skin
across my shoulder had taken on a pinkish tinge. I hoped that I was
not imagining it, that it was not merely the moonlight through the
window.
4. The Performance.
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V. TEPES – PROFESSIONAL EXSANGUINATOR. (Remember! It is pronounced
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That my friend was a
master of disguise should have come as no surprise to me, yet
surprise me it did. Over the next ten days a strange assortment of
characters came in through our door in Baker Street – an elderly
Chinese man, a young roué, a fat, red-haired woman of whose former
profession there could be little doubt, and a venerable old buffer,
his foot swollen and bandaged from gout. Each of them would walk
into my friend’s room, and, with a speed that would have done
justice to a music-hall “quick change artist”, my friend would walk
out.
He would not talk about what he had been doing on these
occasions, preferring to relax, staring off into space, occasionally
making notations on any scrap of paper to hand, notations I found,
frankly, incomprehensible. He seemed entirely preoccupied, so much
so that I found myself worrying about his well-being. And then, late
one afternoon, he came home dressed in his own clothes, with an easy
grin upon his face, and he asked if I was interested in the
theatre.
“As much as the next man,” I told him.
“Then
fetch your opera glasses,” he told me. “We are off to Drury
Lane.”
I had expected a light opera, or something of the
kind, but instead I found myself in what must have been the worst
theatre in Drury Lane, for all that it had named itself after the
royal court – and to be honest, it was barely in Drury Lane at all,
being situated at the Shaftesbury Avenue end of the road, where the
avenue approaches the Rookery of St. Giles. On my friend’s advice I
concealed my wallet, and, following his example, I carried a stout
stick.
Once we were seated in the stalls (I had bought a
threepenny orange from one of the lovely young women who sold them
to the members of the audience, and I sucked it as we waited), my
friend said, quietly, “You should only count yourself lucky that you
did not need to accompany me to the gambling dens or the brothels.
Or the madhouses – another place that Prince Franz delighted in
visiting, as I have learned. But there was nowhere he went to more
than once. Nowhere but –“
The orchestra struck up, and the
curtain was raised. My friend was silent. It was a fine enough
show in its way: three one-act plays were performed. Comic songs
were sung between the acts. The leading man was tall, languid, and
had a fine singing voice; the leading lady was elegant, and her
voice carried through all the theatre; the comedian had a fine touch
for patter songs.
The first play was a broad comedy of
mistaken identities: the leading man played a pair of identical
twins who had never met, but had managed, by a set of comical
misadventures, each to find himself engaged to be married to the
same young lady – who, amusingly, thought herself engaged to only
one man. Doors swung open and closed as the actor changed from
identity to identity.
The second play was a heartbreaking
tale of an orphan girl who starved in the snow selling hothouse
violets – her grandmother recognised her at the last, and swore that
she was the babe stolen ten years back by bandits, but it was too
late, and the frozen little angel breathed her last. I must confess
I found myself wiping my eyes with my linen handkerchief more than
once.
The performance finished with a rousing historical
narrative: the entire company played the men and women of a village
on the shore of the ocean, seven hundred years before our modern
times. They saw shapes rising from the sea, in the distance. The
hero joyously proclaimed to the villagers that these were the Old
Ones whose coming was foretold, returning to us from R’lyeh, and
from dim Carcosa, and from the plains of Leng, where they had slept,
or waited, or passed out the time of their death. The comedian
opined that the other villagers had all been eating too many pies
and drinking too much ale, and they were imagining the shapes. A
portly gentleman playing a priest of the Roman God tells the
villagers that the shapes in the sea were monsters and demons, and
must be destroyed.
At the climax, the hero beat the priest to
death with his own crucifer, and prepared to welcome Them as They
came. The heroine sang a haunting aria, whilst, in an astonishing
display of magic-lantern trickery, it seemed as if we saw Their
shadows cross the sky at the back of the stage: the Queen of Albion
herself, and the Black One of Egypt (in shape almost like a man),
followed by the Ancient Goat, Parent to a Thousand, Emperor of all
China, and the Czar Unanswerable, and He Who Presides over the New
World, and the White Lady of the Antarctic Fastness, and the others.
And as each shadow crossed the stage, or appeared to, from out of
every throat in the gallery came, unbidden, a mighty “Huzzah!” until
the air itself seemed to vibrate. The moon rose in the painted sky,
and then, at its height, in one final moment of theatrical magic, it
turned from a pallid yellow, as it was in the old tales, to the
comforting crimson of the moon that shines down upon us all
today.
The members of the cast took their bows and their
curtain calls to cheers and laughter, and the curtain fell for the
last time, and the show was done.
"There,” said my friend.
“What did you think?”
“Jolly, jolly good,” I told him, my
hands sore from applauding.
“Stout fellow,” he said, with a
smile. “Let us go backstage.”
We walked outside and into an
alley beside the theatre, to the stage door, where a thin woman with
a wen on her cheek knitted busily. My friend showed her a visiting
card, and she directed us into the building and up some steps to a
small communal dressing room. Oil lamps and candles guttered in
front of smeared looking-glasses, and men and women were taking off
their make-up and costumes with no regard to the proprieties of
gender. I averted my eyes. My friend seemed unperturbed. “Might I
talk to Mr Vernet?” he asked, loudly.
A young woman who had
played the heroine’s best friend in the first play, and the saucy
innkeeper’s daughter in the last, pointed us to the end of the room.
“Sherry! Sherry Vernet!” she called.
The young man who stood
up in response was lean; less conventionally handsome than he had
seemed from the other side of the footlights. He peered at us
quizzically. “I do not believe I have had the
pleasure...?”
“My name is Henry Camberley,” said my friend,
drawling his speech somewhat. “You may have heard of me.”
“I
must confess that I have not had that privilege,” said
Vernet.
My friend presented the actor with an engraved
card.
The man looked at the card with unfeigned interest. “A
theatrical promoter? From the New World? My, my. And this is...?” He
looked at me.
“This is a friend of mine, Mister Sebastian. He
is not of the profession.”
I muttered something about having
enjoyed the performance enormously, and shook hands with the
actor.
My friend said, “Have you ever visited the New
World?”
“I have not yet had that honour,” admitted Vernet,
“although it has always been my dearest wish.”
“Well, my good
man,” said my friend, with the easy informality of a New Worlder.
“Maybe you’ll get your wish. That last play. I’ve never seen
anything like it. Did you write it?”
“Alas, no. The
playwright is a good friend of mine. Although I devised the
mechanism of the magic lantern shadow show. You’ll not see finer on
the stage today.”
“Would you give me the playwright’s name?
Perhaps I should speak to him directly, this friend of
yours.”
Vernet shook his head. “That will not be possible, I
am afraid. He is a professional man, and does not wish his
connection with the stage publically to be known.”
“I see.”
My friend pulled a pipe from his pocket, and put it in his mouth.
Then he patted his pockets. “I am sorry,” he began. “I have
forgotten to bring my tobacco pouch.”
“I smoke a strong black
shag,” said the actor, “but if you have no objection
–"
“None!” said my friend, heartily. “Why, I smoke a strong
shag myself,” and he filled his pipe with the actor’s tobacco, and
the two men puffed away, while my friend described a vision he had
for a play that could tour the cities of the New World, from
Manhattan Island all the way to the furthest tip of the continent in
the distant south. The first act would be the last play we had seen.
The rest of the play might perhaps tell of the dominion of the Old
Ones over humanity and its gods, perhaps telling what might have
happened if people had had no Royal Families to look up to – a world
of barbarism and darkness – “But your mysterious professional man
would be the play’s author, and what occurs would be his alone to
decide,” interjected my friend. “Our drama would be his. But I can
guarantee you audiences beyond your imaginings, and a significant
share of the takings at the door. Let us say fifty
per-cent!”
“This is most exciting,” said Vernet. “I hope it
will not turn out to have been a pipe-dream!”
“No sir, it
shall not!” said my friend, puffing on his own pipe, chuckling at
the man’s joke. “Come to my rooms in Baker Street tomorrow morning,
after breakfast-time, say at ten, in company with your author
friend, and I shall have the contracts drawn up and
waiting.”
With that the actor clambered up onto his chair and
clapped his hands for silence. “Ladies and Gentlemen of the company,
I have an announcement to make,” he said, his resonant voice filling
the room. “This gentleman is Henry Camberley, the theatrical
promoter, and he is proposing to take us across the Atlantic Ocean,
and on to fame and fortune.”
There were several cheers, and
the comedian said, “Well, it’ll make a change from herrings and
pickled-cabbage,” and the company laughed.
And it was to the
smiles of all of them that we walked out of the theatre and out onto
the fog-wreathed streets.
“My dear fellow,” I said. “Whatever
was–"
“Not another word,” said my friend. “There are many
ears in the city.”
And not another word was spoken until we
had hailed a cab, and clambered inside, and were rattling up the
Charing Cross Road.
And even then, before he said anything,
my friend took his pipe from his mouth, and emptied the half-smoked
contents of the bowl into a small tin. He pressed the lid onto the
tin, and placed it into his pocket.
“There,” he said. “That’s
the Tall Man found, or I’m a Dutchman. Now, we just have to hope
that the cupidity and the curiosity of the Limping Doctor proves
enough to bring him to us tomorrow morning.”
“The Limping
Doctor?”
My friend snorted. “That is what I have been calling
him. It was obvious, from footprints and much else besides, when we
saw the Prince’s body, that two men had been in that room that
night: a tall man, who, unless I miss my guess, we have just
encountered, and a smaller man with a limp, who eviscerated the
prince with a professional skill that betrays the medical
man.”
“A doctor?”
“Indeed. I hate to say this, but it
is my experience that when a Doctor goes to the bad, he is a fouler
and darker creature than the worst cut-throat. There was Huston, the
acid-bath man, and Campbell, who brought the procrustean bed to
Ealing...” and he carried on in a similar vein for the rest of our
journey.
The cab pulled up beside the kerb. “That’ll be one
and tenpence,” said the cabbie. My friend tossed him a florin, which
he caught, and tipped to his ragged tall hat. “Much obliged to you
both,” he called out, as the horse clopped out into the
fog.
We walked to our front door. As I unlocked the door, my
friend said, “Odd. Our cabbie just ignored that fellow on the
corner.”
“They do that at the end of a shift,” I pointed
out.
“Indeed they do,” said my friend.
I dreamed of
shadows that night, vast shadows that blotted out the sun, and I
called out to them in my desperation, but they did not
listen.
5. The Skin and the
Pit.
This year, step into the Spring - with a spring
in your step! JACK’S. Boots, Shoes and Brogues. Save your soles!
Heels our speciality. JACK’S. And do not forget to visit our new
clothes and fittings emporium in the East End – featuring evening
wear of all kinds, hats, novelties, canes, swordsticks &c.
JACK’S OF PICCADILLY. It’s all in the Spring!
Inspector
Lestrade was the first to arrive.
“You have posted your men
in the street?” asked my friend.
“I have,” said Lestrade.
“With strict orders to let anyone in who comes, but to arrest anyone
trying to leave.”
“And you have handcuffs with
you?”
In reply, Lestrade put his hand in his pocket, and
jangled two pairs of cuffs, grimly.
“Now sir,” he said.
“While we wait, why do you not tell me what we are waiting
for?” My friend pulled his pipe out of his pocket. He did not put
it in his mouth, but placed it on the table in front of him. Then he
took the tin from the night before, and a glass vial I recognised as
the one he had had in the room in Shoreditch.
“There,” he
said. “The coffin-nail, as I trust it shall prove, for our Master
Vernet.” He paused. Then he took out his pocket watch, laid it
carefully on the table. “We have several minutes before they
arrive.” He turned to me. “What do you know of the
Restorationists?”
“Not a blessed thing,” I told
him.
Lestrade coughed. “If you’re talking about what I think
you’re talking about,” he said, “perhaps we should leave it there.
Enough’s enough.”
“Too late for that,” said my friend. “For
there are those who do not believe that the coming of the Old Ones
was the fine thing we all know it to be. Anarchists to a man, they
would see the old ways restored – mankind in control of its own
destiny, if you will.”
“I will not hear this sedition
spoken,” said Lestrade. “I must warn you –"
“I must warn you
not to be such a fathead,” said my friend.”Because it was the
Restorationists that killed Prince Franz Drago. They murder, they
kill, in a vain effort to force our masters to leave us alone in the
darkness. The Prince was killed by a rache - it’s an old term for a
hunting dog, Inspector, as you would know if you had looked in a
dictionary. It also means revenge. And the hunter left his signature
on the wallpaper in the murder-room, just as an artist might sign a
canvas. But he was not the one who killed the Prince.”
“The
Limping Doctor!” I exclaimed.
“Very good. There was a tall
man there that night – I could tell his height, for the word was
written at eye level. He smoked a pipe – the ash and dottle sat
unburnt in the fireplace, and he had tapped out his pipe with ease
on the mantel, something a smaller man would not have done. The
tobacco was an unusual blend of shag. The footprints in the room
had, for the most part been almost obliterated by your men, but
there were several clear prints behind the door and by the window.
Someone had waited there: a smaller man from his stride, who put his
weight on his right leg. On the path outside I had several clear
prints, and the different colours of clay on the bootscraper outside
gave me more information: a tall man, who had accompanied the Prince
into those rooms, and had, later, walked out. Waiting for them to
arrive was the man who had sliced up the Prince so
impressively...”
Lestrade made an uncomfortable noise that
did not quite become a word.
“I have spent many days
retracing the movements of his highness. I went from gambling hell
to brothel to dining den to madhouse looking for our pipe-smoking
man and his friend. I made no progress until I thought to check the
newspapers of Bohemia, searching for a clue to the Prince’s recent
activities there, and in them I learned that an English Theatrical
Troupe had been in Prague last month, and had performed before
Prince Franz Drago...”
“Good lord,” I said. “So that Sherry
Vernet fellow...”
“Is a Restorationist. Exactly.”
I
was shaking my head in wonder at my friend’s intelligence and skills
of observation, when there was a knock on the door.
“This
will be our quarry!” said my friend. “Careful now!”
Lestrade
put his hand deep into his pocket, where I had no doubt he kept a
pistol. He swallowed, nervously.
My friend called out,
“Please, come in!”
The door opened.
It was not Vernet,
nor was it a Limping Doctor. It was one of the young street Arabs
who earn a crust running errands – “in the employ of Messrs. Street
and Walker”, as we used to say when I was young. “Please sirs,” he
said. “Is there a Mister Henry Camberley here? I was asked by a
gentleman to deliver a note.”
“I’m he,” said my friend. “And
for a sixpence, what can you tell me about the gentleman who gave
you the note?”
The young lad, who volunteered that his name
was Wiggins, bit the sixpence before making it vanish, and then told
us that the cheery cove who gave him the note was on the tall side,
with dark hair, and, he added, he had been smoking a pipe.
I
have the note here, and take the liberty of transcribing
it.
My Dear Sir,
I do not address you as Henry
Camberley, for it is a name to which you have no claim. I am
surprised that you did not announce yourself under your own name,
for it is a fine one, and one that does you credit. I have read a
number of your papers, when I have been able to obtain them. Indeed,
I corresponded with you quite profitably two years ago about certain
theoretical anomalies in your paper on the Dynamics of an
Asteroid.
I was amused to meet you, yesterday evening. A few
tips which might save you bother in times to come, in the profession
you currently follow. Firstly, a pipe-smoking man might possibly
have a brand-new, unused pipe in his pocket, and no tobacco, but it
is exceedingly unlikely – at least as unlikely as a theatrical
promoter with no idea of the usual customs of recompense on a tour,
who is accompanied by a taciturn ex-army officer (Afghanistan,
unless I miss my guess). Incidentally, while you are correct that
the streets of London have ears, it might also behoove you in future
not to take the first cab that comes along. Cab-drivers have ears
too, if they choose to use them.
You are certainly
correct in one of your suppositions: it was indeed I who lured the
half-blood creature back to the room in Shoreditch.
If it is
any comfort to you, having learned a little of his recreational
predilections, I had told him I had procured for him a girl,
abducted from a convent in Cornwall where she had never seen a man,
and that it would only take his touch, and the sight of his face, to
tip her over into a perfect madness.
Had she existed, he
would have feasted on her madness while he took her, like a man
sucking the flesh from a ripe peach leaving nothing behind but the
skin and the pit. I have seen them do this. I have seen them do far
worse. And it is not the price we pay for peace and prosperity. It
is too great a price for that.
The good doctor – who believes
as I do, and who did indeed write our little performance, for he has
some crowd-pleasing skills – was waiting for us, with his
knives.
I send this note, not as a catch-me-if-you-can taunt,
for we are gone, the estimable doctor and I, and you shall not find
us, but to tell you that it was good to feel that, if only for a
moment, I had a worthy adversary. Worthier by far than inhuman
creatures from beyond the Pit.
I fear the Strand Players will
need to find themselves a new leading man.
I will not sign
myself Vernet, and until the hunt is done and the world restored, I
beg you to think of me simply as,
Rache.
Inspector
Lestrade ran from the room, calling to his men. They made young
Wiggins take them to the place where the man had given him the note,
for all the world as if Vernet the actor would be waiting there for
them, a-smoking of his pipe. From the window we watched them run, my
friend and I, and we shook our heads.
“They will stop and
search all the trains leaving London, all the ships leaving Albion
for Europe or the New World,” said my friend, “Looking for a tall
man, and his companion, a smaller, thickset medical man, with a
slight limp. They will close the ports. Every way out of the country
will be blocked.”
“Do you think they will catch him,
then?”
My friend shook his head. “I may be wrong,” he said,
“But I would wager that he and his friend are even now only a mile
or so away, in the rookery of St. Giles, where the police will not
go except by the dozen. And they will hide up there until the hue
and cry have died away. And then they will be about their
business.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because,” said
my friend, “If our positions were reversed, it is what I would do.
You should burn the note, by the way.”
I frowned. “But surely
it’s evidence,” I said.
“It’s seditionary nonsense,” said my
friend.
And I should have burned it. Indeed, I told Lestrade
I had burned it, when he returned, and he congratulated me on my
good sense. Lestrade kept his job, and Prince Albert wrote a note to
my friend congratulating him on his deductions, while regretting
that the perpetrator was still at large.
They have not yet
caught Sherry Vernet, or whatever his name really is, nor was any
trace of his murderous accomplice, tentatively identified as a
former military surgeon named John (or perhaps James) Watson.
Curiously, it was revealed that he had also been in Afghanistan. I
wonder if we ever met.
My shoulder, touched by the Queen,
continues to improve, the flesh fills and it heals. Soon I shall be
a dead-shot once more.
One night when we were alone, several
months ago, I asked my friend if he remembered the correspondence
referred to in the letter from the man who signed himself Rache. My
friend said that he remembered it well, and that “Sigerson” (for so
the actor had called himself then, claiming to be an Icelander) had
been inspired by an equation of my friend’s to suggest some wild
theories furthering the relationship between mass, energy and the
hypothetical speed of light. “Nonsense, of course,” said my friend,
without smiling. “But inspired and dangerous nonsense
nonetheless.”
The palace eventually sent word that the Queen
was pleased with my friend’s accomplishments in the case, and there
the matter has rested.
I doubt my friend will leave it alone,
though; it will not be over until one of them has killed the
other.
I kept the note. I have said things in this retelling
of events that are not to be said. If I were a sensible man I would
burn all these pages, but then, as my friend taught me, even ashes
can give up their secrets. Instead, I shall place these papers in a
strongbox at my bank with instructions that the box may not be
opened until long after anyone now living is dead. Although, in the
light of the recent events in Russia, I fear that day may be closer
than any of us would care to think.
S________ M____ Major
(Ret’d) Baker Street, London, New Albion, 1881.
See the
full list of Hugo nominees at LocusMag.com
or NoReasCon.Org. From
Shadows Over Baker Street copyright ©2003 by John Pelan and
Michael Reaves. "A Study in Emerald" copyright ©2003 by Neil
Gaiman.
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