Ekaterina Sedia
The Secret History of Moscow
1: Galina
She had long pale fingers, tapered like candles at the
church. She swiped them through the flame of a match carefully at first,
feeling nothing. Then she held them there longer, expecting them to drip and
melt. Instead they turned red and blistered, and she withdrew carefully,
watching the skin peel and stand in tiny transparent tents on her fingertips.
She was already thinking of a lie to tell her coworkers to explain the
blisters. Iron. Sizzling, spitting
oil in the skillet. Napalm. She laughed at the
thought. Napalm is never reassuring, and only reassuring things made for good
lies-food, ironing, domesticity.
There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Galka, are
you asleep in there?” Masha asked. “Come on, I have to go."
She blew out the match. “Will be
right out."
"Are you smoking in there?"
"No,” she said, and opened the door.
Masha, pink and sweating, bustled past her, brushing
her enormous pregnant belly against Galina, already hiking up her housecoat.
Galina exited hastily. Masha's pregnancy bothered
her-not just because she was only eighteen and not because Masha's
husband-to-be was still in the army, serving the last of his two draft years.
The impending arrival of the squalling pink thing that would steal the remnants
of her sister's affection away from her hurt more than she would dare to
admit-their mother and grandmother were so excited about the baby. Galina
pretended that she was, too, and burned herself with matches when nobody was
watching as a punishment for being so selfish. She hoped she wouldn't get into
trouble again.
She blew on her fingers and headed for the room she
shared with her mother and grandmother; Masha now had a room of her own, all
the more reason for resentment and consequent weeping at her own monstrosity.
The grandmother was away, at the hospital again and perhaps not ever coming
back home, and the mother was on the phone in the
hallway. Galina relished the moments of solitude. She stretched on her bed and
listened to the familiar noises of the railroad outside, and to the mumbling of
her mother's voice in the hallway. Quite despite her intentions, she listened
to her mother's words.
Of course she's too young, the mother said. But better
too early than too late, and you know Galina: she's an old maid and I doubt
there would be any grandchildren out of her, and really, I wish she would just
have one out of wedlock, nowadays who really cares. I know she won't find a
husband and I've resigned to that. But if she would just have
a baby… Oh, I know, I told her a million times. But she's stubborn like
you wouldn't believe, and I doubt any man would put up with that for long.
There was nothing there Galina hadn't heard before-to
her mother, men were rare and precious prey that had to be snared with cunning
and artifice. Galina couldn't remember when last their conversation hadn't
turned into a lesson in making herself attractive-how she should dress nicer,
and mouth off less and smile more. Maybe this way she would hold someone's
attention long enough to get knocked up. Neither mentioned the premise of these
speeches-that Galina was unlovable without artifice and deception. She tried to
avoid talking to her mother lately. But the voice in the hallway continued:
I just don't want her to turn into a bitter man-hater,
her mother said. Last time when she came
home from the hospital (she could never bring herself to
say ‘mental institution') I had hope for a while. But now-I don't know if she
should just go back or if there's nothing they can do to fix her.
Galina remembered that day, when she had returned
home, still swollen from the sulfazine-and-neuroleptics cocktails they had
plied her with. The injection sites still hurt, and she resolved then to never
do anything that would cause her to go back. She never told anyone about the
things that flickered in the edges of her vision-strange creatures, awful
sights. The mental institution was an extension of her mother, punishing her
every time she disappointed. She chose her mother's dull torment over the acute
pain of needles and the semiconscious nightmare of neuroleptics. She still felt
guilty about her lies.
She pushed her face deeper into the pillow and pulled
the pillow corners over her ears to block out the voice from the hallway. But
it was too late-the fear had already kicked in, urging her to run, run far
away, to protect herself. Like when she was a child (the only child), and there
was a driving fear that the life she saw around her was all that awaited her in
the future, and she wanted to run to avoid being trapped in the soul-killing
routine of home and work, of TV, of acquiring things for the sake of it. How she
longed to escape then; now, the desire was given a special urgency by her adult
awareness that there wasn't anywhere to run to. The books she loved, the
promises of secret worlds turned out to be lies.
And then there was a scream-she thought it was a cat
at first, a neighbor's cat with a stepped-on tail complaining loudly of its
bitter injury, and Galina wrapped the pillow tighter around her head. Then she
realized that the cry was not feline at all but human. A
baby.
She tossed the pillow aside and ran, her socks sliding
on the smooth surface of hardwood floors. The cry was coming out of the
bathroom, and Galina pounded on the locked door. No answer came.
Her mother, the phone abandoned dangling from the
little table in the hallway, banged on the door too. A small woman, her fists
struck the door with enough force to shake it. Galina stepped back.
"Don't just stand here,” her mother snapped.
Galina ran into the kitchen. There was an old chest of
tools their father left before he departed for environs unknown, and she
searched for it, slamming the cupboard doors, her panic growing with every
little door opened and slammed shut in disappointment. She finally found the
chest on top of the china cabinet, and grabbed the largest screwdriver there
was. Armed, she rushed back to the bathroom door, where her mother was still
banging and the baby still cried inside.
She pushed her mother out of the way and struck the
door by the handle, chipping away long slivers of wood over the lock. When the
lock was exposed, she pried it open.
The baby, umbilical cord still attached, lay on the
floor. A squirming purple thing her mother rushed to pick up and rubbed with a
towel. Galina's gaze cast about, between the white porcelain of the toilet and
the chipped rim of the tub. Vanity. Mirror.
Window. The window is open. But no
Masha.
Her mother was too preoccupied with the baby to notice
her youngest daughter's disappearance. Galina looked out of the window, as if
expecting to see Masha hovering by some miracle eight stories above the ground.
The air in front of her was empty, save for a lone jackdaw that circled and
circled.
She stood on tiptoes, half-hanging out of the window
to see the ground below her, afraid to see it. Through vertigo and the waves of
nascent nausea she saw the asphalt below-empty, save for a couple of stray cats
and a clump of old ladies on the bench by the entrance. The jackdaw cawed and
flapped its wings. It circled over Galina's head, demanding attention; it
landed on the windowsill and cocked its head, looking at Galina with a shiny
black eye, its beak half-open as if it were trying to talk. Its dull feathers
looked like iron.
Galina felt the world careen under her feet, and the
incessant crying of the baby and her mother's plaintive voice fell away, the
jackdaw's eye trapping her in a bubble of silence and awe. “Masha?” she
whispered with cold lips. “Is that really you?"
The jackdaw hopped closer and nodded its head as if
saying, yes it is me. It is me.
"No,” Galina said. “It cannot be. I don't believe
you."
The bird cawed once and hopped off the window ledge.
It fell like a stone until it almost hit the dead asphalt below; then it took
wing and soared higher, obscuring the sun in the pale September sky.
The sounds intruded back, and Galina winced and
pressed her fingers-blistered on her left hand but untouched on the right-to
her ears, and turned around.
Her mother sat on the floor, the wailing baby cradled
in the sagging folds of her housecoat, and cried. Her voice rose to a
high-pitched scream, oddly matching that of the newborn infant, as the
realization of her loss enveloped her. “Masha, Masha!” she cried, and the birds
outside answered in angry shouts and caws.
"She's gone, Mom,” Galina said. She never
mentioned the jackdaw. She didn't want to go back to the hospital.
* * * *
They called it the golden autumn, and that Monday
morning Galina could see why. The poplars lining the road on her way to the bus
station turned yellow overnight, shining like the gilded onions of the churches
in the old city in the slanted rays of the morning sun. The air had just a hint
of the autumnal bitter taste to it, and Galina smiled, squinting at the bright
colors of the trees and the sky until she remembered.
She did not want to go to work today, not with the
misery back home; she felt like a traitor this morning, leaving her mother, who
looked startlingly frail, with the bundled baby, among the diapers that needed
washing and bottles of formula.
"Just go,” her mother had said,
her ire visible. “If you lose your job, what am I going to do with you
then?"
Galina realized then that her mother was angry that it
was Masha who disappeared-the youngest one, the normal one. She got ready for
work.
She worked in the center of the city, in the old part
of it, where everything was historical and beautiful. Even there, though, new
life in the shape of kiosks had sprung up on every corner-they sold magazines,
cigarettes, books, Tampax, pins, film, booze, eyeglasses, school supplies,
handbags and T-shirts, and were manned by loud people who wouldn't leave the
passersby alone.
To get to her place of employment, a small science
publisher, she had to navigate the underground crossing that used to be so wide
and free but was now crammed with endless kiosks and beggars. In all her life
Galina hadn't seen beggars until recently; she wondered where they came from,
and left whatever money was in her pockets in paper cups extended to her by
thin hands, on the homemade trolleys-board and four wheels taken off a child's
abandoned toy truck-that carted about old men with no legs, dressed in torn,
disintegrating army fatigues, as if they had existed like this since 1945. Some
of the cripples were younger, and she guessed them for Afghan vets; she avoided
meeting their eyes, as if the things they'd seen could pour into hers somehow,
travel to her heart, and freeze it forever. She averted her face and tossed the
loose change blindly, in a vain effort to assuage her guilt.
She emerged on the other side of Tverskaya and ran to
the two-storied old building in the Gazetniy Pereulok. The trees turned yellow
and orange, and the first fallen leaves rustled under her sneakers. She
could've made this trek with her eyes closed-she had worked for this publisher
for the last three years, translating medical articles from English and German.
She congratulated herself on having a job. Nowadays, there was simply no
certainty in finding gainful employment. She frowned when she perused
help-wanted ads in the newspapers-every time anyone mentioned foreign language
skills, they also required that the owner of said skills doubled as a secretary
and looked good in a miniskirt. It seemed that every day hundreds of new
businesses sprang out of nowhere, like the beggars in the subways, and none of
them were interested in a translator, just a good-looking entertainer for the
eventual foreign investors. Yes, she was lucky to have a job; it didn't pay
much, but she enjoyed it and, as a bonus, kept her dignity-a hard thing to find
nowadays.
The cool entrance greeted her, the old stone breathing
with the conserved cold of winters long past.
"Galka!” the voice of the senior editor named
Velikanov, a man of gigantic stature matching his name, boomed. “Do you know
what time it is?"
"Yes,” she said. “My sister gave birth last
night, and now she's missing."
"Wrong order, huh?” Velikanov grinned through his
beard. He noticed her face and the grin
faded back into the tangles of his facial vegetation. “God,
you're serious. I'm so sorry. What are you doing at work then?"
She shrugged. “There's nothing else to do. I notified
the police. My mom is taking care of the baby. I get to earn the money, I
guess."
Velikanov patted her shoulder, careful not to crush it
in his meaty paw. “I'm sorry. I know you were close. How much younger was-I
mean, is she now?"
"Ten years,” Galina said.
Velikanov nodded and ushered her through the office to
the kitchenette, where the kettle boiled perpetually. “Have some tea. Three sugars?"
She nodded and blew on the hot surface of the cup
Velikanov handed to her. “Thanks. Anything urgent
today?"
"Just a couple of news items from Lancet,” he
said. “Nothing urgent. You can take the afternoon off
if you want."
"Thank you,” Galina said. She wanted to add
something else, to say that she was lucky to have Velikanov as her boss, but
thought better of it. The giant man always looked at her with such helpless
eyes that she worried that any kind word would make it worse. What was that
story she used to love as a kid?
She sat at her desk and riffled the papers in a feeble
ritual. She spotted the Lancet articles-two pages each, no big deal-and put
them on top of her pile. She opened her notebook and thought of the story.
A children's book, large format, thin, with pictures
on every page. Pictures of two children-a boy and a girl-cowering before an
old, deformed woman with a large nose and a cruel cane in her hand. Then there
were talking rabbits and fairies, and for the life of her she could not remember
the plot; but she remembered the ending. On the last page, the old ugly woman
stood transformed to her former youth and beauty, smiling at the eager
children, as she explained that there had been a curse on her. She had been
transmogrified into an ugly misshapen creature, and if she as much as breathed
a kind word to them or offered the barest of comforts, the children would have
turned to stone.
Galina raised the pages to her face to hide her tears
from her coworkers-their desks crowded close together in this old room; Galina
was the nearest to a large radiator by the window, so she would always be warm.
Another one of Ve-likanov's many kindnesses that she could not return-she was
afraid that if she did, his heart would be eventually turned to stone and be
shattered by a false hope.
The picture stood in her mind and refused to be chased
away by a valiant attempt to concentrate on the English words in front of her.
When she was little, that story made so much sense-she was the only child, but
the rest fit perfectly. Her haggard, angry mother who wanted to love her but
was prohibited to do so by a curse, a mortal fear of expressing her love
because it could kill.
When Masha was born, the curse theory went out of the
window-their mother doted on the newborn, and nobody turned into stone, not
even Galina. As Masha grew, Galina also learned to appreciate the affection her
sister showed and that she missed so badly now. She swallowed her tears again,
as she thought of her mother with Masha's baby in her lap, crying and rocking,
and no radiant Masha around to comfort all of them.
Galina finished her tea, shook her head
as if forcing out the devastating thoughts, and read the articles-a review of
the new book on goiter (goiter? Did anyone even get that anymore?) and a conference report. She quickly jotted down a longhand
translation, and tossed it on the typist's desk. “I'm taking a few hours off,”
she said, and left.
It was strange being out of the office during the day,
and she walked across Tverskaya teeming with tourists, and let her feet meander
until she found herself on Herzen Street. Old like everything in this part of
the city, the street was lined with old stone buildings, and Galina stood a
while, trying to remember that one house she used to love as a teenager. She
spotted the three-storied brownstone, and prayed that the tenants hadn't
installed the security lock at the entrance.
They hadn't, and she ran up the stairs, guilty and
quiet on her feet. She hoped that none of the tenants would emerge from their
comfortable, expensive apartments with steel security doors and question her
right to be here.
This stairwell was one of her treasures, one of the
secrets nobody knew about-she collected them obsessively, and reveled in the
knowledge of her riches. Few of them were tangible-a convex piece of green
bottle glass, buried in a sandbox with a perfect autumn leaf and a dried daisy
underneath it, so one could unearth it slowly, grain by grain, and revel in the
miraculous crystalline beauty; others were less so-a hidden eddy on the river,
a particular angle at which sunlight struck the gilded onion of a church, and
that house on Herzen Street, which had an unguarded roof exit, where one could
sit on the slanted metal roof, warm from the sun, and be in awe of the old city
curled in a cradling embrace of the river.
There was no one else on the roof, nor had there been
in all the years she came here. There was trash by the chimney, and she
surmised that others came here too; perhaps some of the beggars in the underground
tunnel slept here, away from the stray dogs and police patrols in the streets.
She rested her back against the chimney and pressed her toes against the
gutter, lest she slid off the steep incline, and looked.
There is a reason they call it the city of forty times
forty churches. Splashes of gold dotted the landscape before her, unobscured by
the tall modern buildings. Yellow of the poplars and gold of the churches and
blue of the sky made her sigh happily, forgetting for a moment her acute misery.
Then she noticed a dark cloud in the sky, and shielded her eyes from the sun.
The cloud grew larger and closer, and Galina realized that it was composed of
birds-jackdaws, crows, owls. Owls? She stared up at
the soft soundless beats of softly feathered wings, and round yellow eyes
stared back. The birds circled over her head and one of the jackdaws kept
dipping lower, its wings almost brushing against her face, the wind of their
beats ruffling her hair.
"What do you want?” Galina asked. There was no
one around who would care that she talked to birds, who would decide to send
her back. Alone, she did not have to fake normality.
The jackdaw landed on the edge of the gutter, tilting
its head.
Masha, she wanted to say, but bit the word back. She
might be ill, but she knew well enough to recognize a hallucination. Birds
appearing out of nowhere and trying to talk to her, owls not at all bothered by
the sunlight-it wasn't true, it wasn't happening to her. A good schizophrenic-a
brave schizophrenic-knew that she was ill and that things that she saw were not
necessarily there. A good schizophrenic should ignore a hallucination once she
recognized it as such.
"Go away,” she whispered fiercely. “You do not
exist, so leave me alone."
Her spirit in shambles, she rose and
headed back to the hatch that would take her back to the world below. The birds
grew agitated at her departure, and all of them drew closer, their wings
raising a wind so strong she almost lost her footing. They mobbed her like the
crows mobbed the cats who got too close to their
nests, diving low, their claws pulling at her hair, their beaks opened wide.
She fled to the safety of the hatch, her sneakers slipping on the suddenly
too-smooth and dangerous metal. She grabbed at the boards framing the black
square opening of her exit, splinters lodged in the weeping wounds on her
fingertips, panicky, half-blinded by the black-and-gray movement in the air.
She pulled herself into the dusty attic and ran for the stairs, the cawing and
hooting finally left behind.
Too shaken to return to work, she walked along the New
Arbat, recently converted to pedestrian traffic only and taken over by street
artists. She looked as she passed; most exhibited landscapes of the city around
them. She recognized the features as one would the corpse of a loved one-with
features devoid of sparkling life and motion. Sketch artists called out to her,
offering to draw her portrait, but she shook her head and watched the neat
rectangles of the pavement. She passed several artisans exhibiting matryoshkas
and painted jewelry boxes, imitating, more or less successfully, the
traditional Palekh and Gzhel art. Several tourists haggled over the prices via
their interpreter, and Galina shot the hassled man speaking in two languages at
once a sympathetic look. She could never do that, she thought, to work for
those people who descended upon the city like a plague-demanding,
condescending, rude. But she wondered what it would be like, to believe that
the world was created just for your pleasure and amusement.
She looked away, and stopped. A large painting propped
against a storefront caught her eye and she stared at it, willing it to
disappear. But it remained, the only painting that captured the spirit of its
subject-the view from the roof she had just left, dotted with fat vivid strokes
of gold and yellow, capped by a pale blue expanse of the sky. Worse, several birds, all beaks and claws, hung menacingly in the
empty vastness of the sky.
The artist slouched by the painting, a dead cigarette
in his slack lips. He eyed Galina with indifference and detached himself from
the storefront. Unshaven, red-eyed, dirty. “Are you
going to buy it?” he said.
Galina shook her head. “Sorry, no. But these birds…
Can you see them too?"
The artist smiled, the stubble on his concave cheeks
bristling. “Since last Friday. How about that! I
thought it was the DTs."
Galina smiled. Great, she thought, a schizophrenic and
an alcoholic saw creepy birds together. “Have you seen the owls?"
"Since Sunday,” he confirmed.
"Where did they come from? Why are they here,
now, during the day?"
The artist stretched and yawned, blasting Galina with
the stench of stale smoke and alcohol. “Who the fuck knows?” he said
philosophically. “But if you want my opinion, it's probably the gypsies’
fault."
"Gypsies?"
"Or some other damn magic,” he conceded. “If you
really want to know, come by some other day, after it gets dark, and I'll show
you."
"My sister's missing,” Galina said. “I think it
has something to do with the birds. Can't you
explain now?"
"There ain't no explaining it,” he said. “And I
can't show you until it's dark."
He spat out his cigarette, shoved his hands into his
pockets, and indicated that he wasn't going to say anything else.
Galina sighed, and turned to leave. “I'm Galina,” she
said in the way of goodbye. “I'll see you tomorrow."
"See that you do.” He gave a short nod. “Fyodor,
that's my name."
2: Yakov
Yakov never liked the way he looked-he seemed too
prosaic, with not even a whiff of the Englishness he expected himself to
possess. But from every spare line of his small square body to the last
bristling hair on his head his appearance screamed ‘Russian peasant’ at the
world. The world acted indignant in response and shoved him away. Moscow was
especially violent in regards of shoving.
"Limitchik,” that's what they called people like
him-housing in Moscow had always been for the native Muscovites, and a limited
number of out-of-towners. Native Muscovites viewed the out-of-towners with
condescension and contempt that surprised Yakov when he moved here, all of ten
years old. Twenty years later, the hatred did not seem to lessen. He started to
suspect that he would never grow into a native.
Yakov stood in front of the window, in his boxers and
wifebeater, looking at the poplar that didn't quite reach his sixth-story
window. There was a crow's nest on top of it, and the nascent wind whipped it
around; Yakov worried for the safety of two young crows in the nest. Their parents
were nowhere to be seen, and the young birds squawked as the mass of twigs and
branches and accidental fluff swayed back and forth with the windblown treetop.
Yakov wondered if the baby birds felt nauseous. He wondered what they were
still doing in the nest in September.
"Yasha!” his mother called from the kitchen. “Breakfast!"
He pulled on a pair of track pants stretched at the
knees, the red stripes down the sides faded with too many washings.
Too many faded red things in his life-another one of them, in the form of his
mother's housecoat, dashed from the stove to the kitchen table and back, with
the desperate energy of clockwork.
"Calm down, Ma,” Yakov said, and patted the old
woman's shoulder. He always thought of her as old and felt startled on her
birthdays, when he remembered that she was barely fifty. “It's Saturday, no
need to rush."
"I was going to meet Lida to go to the cemetery,”
she said. “To visit your grandparents, and the grave
needs cleaning, what with all the leaves."
"It's fall. There'll be more falling
tomorrow."
"Graves have to be clean,” she said, stubborn and
small. “Eat."
"Don't wait on me. Just do what you have
to."
She sighed. “You'll be all right?"
"Of course.” There was no need to get irritated. She always worried, a habit that wasn't going to go away. Be patient,
he reminded himself. You're the grownup now, even if she doesn't realize it.
“Go, do your thing. Have fun. Enjoy the graves."
Her face pinched. “The dead need to be taken care
of."
He knew better than to argue. There was no point in
telling her that she was the only one comforted by the endless, thankless,
pointless labors at the cemetery, that the dead didn't
care. Yakov drank his tea.
His mother retreated to her room and slammed the
wardrobe doors and shuffled polyester. He buttered bread and sliced thick slabs
of cheese, fragrant and full of holes. He waited to be alone, and felt guilty
for it.
She came into the kitchen, armored in flowered fabric
and stern black shoes. “It wouldn't kill you to visit your grandparents."
Grandparents. He remembered his grandmother vaguely, and
grandfather-not at all. His mother didn't remember him either. They knew only
that he was an Englishman. Then there were half-remembered stories and
conjectures, but his nationality was the only certainty. That,
and the fact that he had worked on the radio for six months, between May and
November of 1938, as an English-language correspondent. During this
short time, he married grandma and got her pregnant, and was promptly
executed-or, as they called it during Khrushchev's times, repressed. Nobody was
quite sure what was buried in the grave with his name on it, and how it got
there, but no one was curious enough to find out.
"I'll stay home today, Ma,” he said. “Next
weekend, maybe. We can go to church too, if you want.” Throwing
pacifiers at her, trading a small present inconvenience for a larger delayed
one. Smart.
"We'll see, Yasha.” She softened. “I'll be back
soon."
He finished his tea, now cold, and found his
binoculars. Through them, he could see the wide beaks of the baby birds,
fringed with yolk yellow, opened in a silent scream. The wind was picking up.
The wind was blowing the leaves in yellow eddies and
swirled them upward, then let them fall back to the ground.
The wind blew through the dry grass in the empty lot
behind the day care center visible from Yakov's window and whistled in the
empty bottles strewn between the peeling benches, tugged on the fur of the dogs
running across the dry mud and clumped dead grass in the no-man's land, and
their owners lifted their collars up and lit up, cradling the tiny flames of
matches in their palms, expertly buffeting the wind with their shoulders.
Yakov watched a young man chasing after a Scottish
terrier; the dog, a blurry caterpillar of motion, ran in circles, easily
outpacing its owner, even though its legs were so short they were hidden under
the shaggy fur. The young man's jacket flapped around him as he ran and chased
after the dog, plaintively calling out his name. A gust of wind pushed the
young man in the back, forcing him into an awkward hobble, and threw the jacket
over his head. As the man struggled to free himself from under the jacket,
twisting and flapping his arms, another gust came and picked him off the
ground. Yakov leaned closer to the window, not quite believing his eyes but too
content with a Saturday alone to truly feel surprised or panicked. The man's
arms flapped faster, the jacket grew longer; his feet shrank away from the
ground, closed into tiny bird fists, and he hovered, half-human, half…?
Yakov looked at the other people and
dogs, but no one seemed overtly concerned or even cognizant of the young man's
strange behavior. Only his terrier stopped running and sat, its head tilting
quizzically, following something high in the air. And then Yakov realized that
the young man was gone, and only a large crow flapped its wings above the empty
lot, chased by the howling Scottish terrier dragging its leash through the mud.
* * * *
Mondays brought the unease and tugging in his chest,
and a desire to dig deeper into his pillows and just sleep. Instead, he rose at
five a.m. and went to work. The bus was populated by sleepy citizens, unwilling
to meet any-one's eye in this ungodly hour, when the soul, still tender from
sleep, was vulnerable to any assault of light, noise, or an unkind word. Yakov,
like the rest of his compatriots, feigned sleep and hid his face in the upright
collar of his uniform.
The moment he closed his eyes, wind blew and coats
upturned, dogs barked and crows cawed. He could not find a way to reconcile the
scene he had witnessed, and decided to consider it a hallucination or a strange
optical trick. He pushed it out of his mind, and got himself distracted by
attending to one of the crows-he fell out of the nest, and Yakov spent Saturday
night and all of Sunday alternately tending to the bird and trying to convince
his mother that crows did not peck people's eyes out. He smiled now at the
memory of the circular argument.
"He's a wild bird,” his mother had said. “Let him
go."
"I can't, Ma,” he had answered. “There are stray
cats out there, and he can't fly yet."
She had sighed and gone about her business, knocking
on his door an hour later and repeating her entreaties. Yakov shrugged and fed
the bird with ground beef and boiled fish.
Now on the bus he worried a little about the little
crow.
He kept peeking into the messenger bag that held his
new pet and a supply of food. The sleeping crow felt almost like a talisman, a
handy distraction from a nagging memory he avoided, feeling only its general
shape-that of a man with wings. He cringed and squeezed his eyes shut, and
almost missed his stop.
The police station where he worked was located in the
ground floor of an older apartment building-only seven stories tall and built
of brown bricks. The stairwell smelled like every stairwell in this city-of
tobacco smoke and cat piss, of cooking cabbage whose insidious smell seemed to
creep from under every door, and abandoned old age. He glimpsed an old man
exiting the building as he entered, not even seven in the morning.
"Good morning,” Yakov said to the old man's back.
He didn't answer, his back in
a well-worn jacket painfully straight, seized forever in a single position. The
old man walked stiffly, leaning on his homemade cane, and Yakov felt bad for
the old-timer-probably a vet; was there an old man who wasn't? It had to be
hard to pick up the empty bottles off the streets and playgrounds where they
were abandoned by the careless young. It was probably a good thing that there
were so many bottles, so an old man didn't have to starve half to death on his
pension. Still, it wasn't a good way for an old man to live-a war hero, an old man had to be respected and deserved some rest.
If he was Yakov's grandfather, he wouldn't have to.
Frowning, Yakov walked up the flight of stairs and
into the office. He settled at his desk, and positioned the crow, whom he had named Carl, in a comfortable nook between the
radiator and the window. His desk was in the back, where actual work was taking
place and no petitioners were allowed. The front room, bisected by the glass
partition with small semicircular windows, was dominated by the passport desk,
which was always doing brisk business.
He longed to be at the passport desk-although boring,
the work there was familiar, and one could go through the motions of looking up
vital statistics and stamping and filling in the blanks while thinking about
something else entirely. Other police work suddenly lacked the familiarity.
Their station always used to be a quiet
one, and Yakov had resigned himself to going through his life and retiring
without ever investigating a homicide, without ever solving anything more serious
than a domestic dispute or a drunken confrontation. It suited him fine, and the
recent increase in crime, racketeers that came out of the woodwork, the
territorial disputes, the murders, the torture-all of it was too much for him.
He shuffled papers in his desk, hoping that he would
remain unnoticed, that no one would unload a petitioner on him and make him listen to another bitter tale of misery he could do
nothing about. He would give them the usual speech of how they would do
everything in their power, not mentioning that it wasn't much, that they lacked
funding and morale, and that retirement seemed like a distant paradise to the
young among them, and a nearby oasis that would finally quench their thirst to
those who were older, but none of them really wanted to be here, and all
regretted going into this line of work, except maybe the girls at the passport
desk.
He managed to spend the morning pretending to be busy,
and surreptitiously feeding the little crow every time he opened the bright
glass beads of his eyes, his yellow beak gaping expectantly. Yakov shoved bits
of raw hamburger into the hungry mouth, worried that the chunks might be too
big. But Carl swallowed, and waited for more. Then Yakov worried about
overfeeding.
"Richards,” the voice by his desk said. “I need
your attention for a bit."
Yakov looked up to meet a steely gaze of his
lieutenant, who despite Yakov's seven-year tenure at the station still had
trouble with his last name-he pronounced it carefully, as if the foreign word
would burn the roof of his mouth if he weren't vigilant about it. “Just be a
moment, Lieutenant Zakharov,” he said.
Zakharov couldn't wait, of course. He ushered in an
older woman, an obvious provincial covered with headscarf and shod in the
gleaming hooves of orthopedic shoes. She had been crying, but her mouth formed
a tight pucker, to ward against any impending emotion. Yakov knew that look
well.
He sat the woman in front of his desk, and shoved Carl
out of the way. She studied the chipped composite wood and a stack of papers
Yakov kept there just to appear busy. The woman then turned her suspicious
attention to Yakov. Her furrowed face betrayed her thoughts-she considered
Yakov too young, too uneducated, not someone who should be in position of
authority, making decisions that people's lives depended upon.
"What can I do for you?” Yakov said, derailing
the unpleasant train of thought.
Carl squawked, and the woman frowned. “My name is Anna
Chernina. My son-in-law is missing. He went to buy cigarettes and never came
back. My daughter's been crying for two days straight now."
Yakov wrote down the address of the woman and her
daughter, and the description of her son-in-law-eyes: brown, hair: brown,
beard: none, height: 1 m 81 cm. He promised to call as soon as they heard
anything.
The woman left unconvinced that Yakov was going to
help her. He was pretty sure that he wasn't.
When lunchtime rolled around, Zakharov reappeared and
straddled the peeling vinyl-upholstered chair in front of Yakov's desk.
"Yasha,” he said, more familiar than Yakov ever
remembered him, “we have five
disappearances reported today."
Man. Wings. Scottish terrier abandoned in the empty field. Yakov
banished the thought. “Racketeers,” he said.
"It's happening all over Moscow. Thirty people in
the last week."
"Racketeers are all over Moscow."
Zakharov rested his aristocratic skull on his hands
folded over the back of the chair, his gaze traveling up the freshly
whitewashed walls and to the ceiling blinking with naked bulbs. He sighed. “I
suppose. God, why me?"
Yakov shrugged and reached for the bag with his little
crow.
"Neat,” Zakharov said. “Where'd you get it?"
"He fell out of the nest Saturday,” Yakov
replied. “It was windy.” And there was no man turning into a bird.
"I can keep an eye on him,” Zakharov said.
"Oh? And I will be doing what exactly?"
"You'll be visiting the families of the missing
persons and finding out whether they were involved in any sort of
commerce."
"Who isn't nowadays?"
"My point exactly. See who they worked for, see if any Chechen gangs
were involved."
Yakov looked up. “Chechen?"
"Yeah. Armenian, Georgian-whatever. Caucasian
nationals."
"Most thugs I see are Russians,” Yakov said.
The lieutenant frowned and tossed a notepad with names
and addresses at Yakov. “Go see to it."
Yakov went.
* * * *
He couldn't understand why his mother had decided to
move to this city. Sure, the center, the old city, was beautiful. But they
lived in the suburbs, which were dreadful and empty and grey, all natural
vegetation twisted and starved by overturned dirt, by too many people, by the
incessant burrowing of new construction. One couldn't cross a yard without
accumulating great clods of clay on one's boots, and their weight inevitably
dragged down the spirit. By the time Yakov reached the well-paved streets and
the bus stop, he would usually lose the desire to live anywhere, let alone this
place. The anorexic poplars bent in the persistent wind given free rein in this
neighborhood, rarely more than corridors between tall flat buildings that begat
drafts and winds; Yakov hoped that one day the confluence of air streams and
accumulated depression in the air would create a tornado. He pictured it in his
mind, a perfect whirlwind picking up the discarded garbage, the construction
bricks carelessly left in sloppy piles, cars parked by and occasionally on the
sidewalks. Just clearing out all the trash which hard life
had deposited here and forgotten about. He went back and forth on
whether he wanted the people gone as well.
His first visit took him into the heart of this
desolate labyrinth. He imagined himself a Theseus in a police uniform; only a
thread and an Ariadne attached to it were missing. Sweat trickled down his neck
and cooled in the hollow between his shoulder blades as he imagined a minotaur waiting for him-a terrible creature brought forth
by the upset of the world's order, born from the chaos that ruled the land and
the pungent dreams of the new Russians, a misshapen embodiment of lawlessness
and despair.
The hoodlums hanging out by the building gave him
oblique looks but didn't heckle. He was grateful for that, for being able to go
by without being called names. He ducked into the entrance and ran up two
flights of stairs to the second floor where his first appointment waited.
He rang the bell and waited. He pushed the door and it
swung noiselessly, admitting him into a crammed one-bedroom apartment, where
pride masked poverty with knick-knacks and imitation wood furniture. He saw a
cockroach, scuttling away shyly, and called into the empty place, “Hello?"
"Over here,” he heard from the kitchen.
A young girl, maybe seventeen, sat at the kitchen
table, her hands folded in her lap. Her gaze never met Yakov's, and remained
directed toward the single window. “When we first moved here,” she said, “there
were apple orchards. This house was the first to be built in this district, and
all the rest was just gardens, and the woods past the railroad tracks. There
were owls there-I could hear them hooting every night. The trains whistling and
the owls hooting, this is how I remember it. Especially in
the summer."
"I'm with the police,” Yakov said. “We got a
report of a missing person?"
"My mom,” the girl said, stubbornly staring out
of the window. Her voice wavered a bit, and with a sinking heart Yakov realized
that she'd been crying.
He never knew what to say to the crying people,
especially the younger ones. It made him panic and make promises he couldn't
possibly keep, just to stem the tears and the heartbreak. “Please,” he said.
“Don't cry. We'll find your mom. But you'll have to help me there, all
right?"
The girl rubbed her face with her palm angrily, and
shot him a smoldering look, furious that he'd seen her like this, red-eyed and
snot-nosed. He pitied her for her grief and for her plain face and sharp nose,
for her thin mousy braids, for her obvious awkwardness.
"When did you last see her?” Yakov asked, and sat
down at the table though no invitation was forthcoming.
"Friday morning,” the girl said.
“She went to work but she didn't come back."
"Where does she work?"
"At the meat processing plant
across the railroad tracks.” The
girl pointed. “Where the woods used to be. They say
she didn't come to work Friday."
He wrote it down. “Do you have any relatives you can
stay with meanwhile?"
"No.” She gave him a dark look from her eyes
reddened with recent tears. “I can take care of myself."
He nodded. “We'll call you if we find anything. Your
name is…?"
"Darya,” the girl said. “And you?"
"Yakov,” Yakov said. “If you call your local
police station, just ask for me, all right?"
"All right,” the girl said, and turned back to
the window.
Yakov headed for the door. There was a yelp, and he
spun and ran back into the kitchen, imagining something horrible happening to
the girl. Instead, he found her unharmed but pale as she pointed at something
outside the window. He looked at the flock of birds winging their way toward
the building, not understanding at first. And then he saw.
The birds were owls, squinting in the luminous
sunlight, but circling nonetheless.
"Where did they come from?” Yakov muttered,
looking over the expanse of asphalt and construction.
The owls seemed confused as well. They remained
silent, and their wings, soft as down, made no noise; they were phantoms, not
birds of flesh and bone, he thought. They were not real because they were not
supposed to be here, had no right to exist, had no reason
to fly about in daylight. Yet Darya saw them too and waved at the birds,
shooing them away or inviting them closer, Yakov couldn't tell.
One of the owls split from the flock and headed
directly for the window. Its eyes, huge and round and yellow, set in a white
triangular face, gripped Yakov's. The bird screeched once and slammed into the
windowpane, its speckled feathers erupting at the impact and showering down,
falling just seconds before the dead owl's body hit the asphalt below. Darya
cried.
* * * *
It was dark when he arrived at the last address, not
too far from the station-he planned it that way. An older woman opened the
door; her eyes were haunted. A stained and wet housecoat clung to her spindly
legs, and the buttons were missing, showing a yellowing slip underneath. The
woman motioned for him to come in, and he heard water rushing into the bathtub
and a baby crying.
"Doing the laundry,” the woman explained. “My
daughter's missing. This is her baby."
"I can wait a little,” Yakov said.
The woman nodded and disappeared down the hallway,
muttering to herself and sighing. Yakov felt for her, left like this with a
double burden of a missing child and care for the grandchild. He didn't dare to
venture inside the apartment and waited by the door, resting his back against
its smooth surface, until a lock clicked and the door shoved him into the
hallway.
"I'm sorry,” the woman who entered said, and eyed
him suspiciously. She was taller than Yakov and about his age; she carried
grocery bags. “Are you with the police?"
"Yes,” Yakov said, resisting the impulse to
sarcasm. “I'm sorry it took me so long-I'm interviewing many people today. A
lot of folks seem to be missing. I think I just spoke to your mother?"
The woman nodded. “My sister disappeared two days
ago."
"Where did she work?"
"She was a student, at the Pedagogical Institute.
Started last year. She just had a baby."
"A boy or a girl?” Yakov asked.
The woman looked at him with a strange expression in
her dark eyes. “I don't know,” she said. “I was so shaken, I never thought of
asking."
The old woman reappeared, wiping her hands on the
housecoat. “It's a boy,” she told Yakov, pointedly ignoring the woman with
grocery bags. “Come on in, son. I'll tell you all about it."
She led him into the living room, where he sat on the
collapsed couch, a spring digging into his thigh, and asked questions. Just
like everyone else, the missing girl had no criminal connections and led a
startlingly ordinary life. The only unusual thing was the circumstances of her
disappear-ance-giving birth in the bathroom and then melting into thin air.
"And you haven't heard or seen anything?” he
asked. “And are you sure the bathroom door was locked?"
"I'm sure,” the woman said. “And there wasn't
anyone else, except myself, and Galina."
"And a jackdaw,” the tall woman
said from the doorway where she apparently stood for some time, silent.
Man. Wings. Scottish terrier.
The old woman shook her head in exasperation. “Excuse
her,” she told Yakov. “She's not-right."
There didn't seem to be anything wrong with the woman,
except that at her mother's words she shrank and retreated into the hallway.
"Wait,” Yakov called. “Did you say
a jackdaw?"
The woman peeked in again. “Yes. Other birds, too. And
I think I know someone who can help you look. Only…"
"Stop that,” the older woman said. “You're
embarrassing me."
And Galina faded from view, silently disappearing into
the darkness of the apartment. She reappeared once, when Yakov was leaving, and
shoved a crumpled note into his hand. “Call me at work. There's a street artist
who knows something,” she whispered and fled under her mother's withering
stare.
3: Fyodor
Fyodor was afraid of gypsies; when he was little, his
mother used to warn him of straying too far away from the house. “Gypsies will
get you,” she said. “They steal children and sell them."
Fyodor played by the porch, in its cool shadow
smelling of rotting wood, and rarely wandered past the outhouse and the fence
discolored by weather.
When his stepfather came to live with them, he was
much less aware of the gypsy problem. “Go play outside,” he would tell little
Fyodor. “What are you, stupid?"
"But the gypsies,” he tried to explain. “They'll
get me."
The stepfather laughed, and gave him a shove away from
the porch. “Gypsies are not dumb. Why would they steal a kid who'd fetch no
more than a quarter?"
Fyodor went then, sobbing silently to himself. He
hoped to run into some gypsies and to be stolen away, both to get away from the
stepfather and to prove him wrong. He wandered past the fence and down the only
earthen street of Vasilyevskoe, the village where he was born and lived all his
life. It was just a row of one-story wooden houses and a gaggle of filthy geese
fraternizing with a few disheveled chickens. He passed the only store, and then
the road led him out of the village, to a small clump of pines overgrowing
sandy dunes-the Barrens, too grand a name for such a little place. But it
smelled of fresh pine resin, and the sun shone, and wild strawberries stained
his fingers with their sweet blood.
He spent all afternoon lying on his back, melting into
the heated sand and pine-scented air, swallowing sweet melancholy tears as he
thought of the gypsies that would come by to steal him away into some magical
and sinister land, and how sorry his mother would be-perhaps sorry enough to
tell the stepfather to go away forever since it was his fault.
The sun stretched over him, touching the tops of dunes
in a sizzling white flash, and sank behind them. The shadows of the dunes grew
blue and touched his face; the sand chilled him, and the strawberries grew
indiscernible in the dark. He hated the gypsies then, for scorning him as
defective merchandise. It was time to return home, to look into the
stepfather's smug face and admit that he was right-there was no value inherent
in Fyodor, and even gypsies knew that.
Fyodor's family moved when it was time for him to go
to school. Like pilgrims, they took trains north and west until they arrived at
Zvenigorod. Fyodor did not sleep on the train and just repeated the
word-Zve-ni-go-rod-in rhythm with clanging of the wheels. A twinkling city, a
happy city, he imagined, animated by the merry ringing of a thousand church
bells, a city promising happiness and
sunshine. It turned out to be covered in asphalt, and even the
trees were dusty. Seven-year-old Fyodor felt the familiar sting of
disappointment as he discovered that the name was a lie.
However, there were gypsies here. They were just
leaving the train station as his mother and the stepfather bickered about
whether the trucker they paid to transport their belongings to the new
residence had arrived yet, when his stepfather paused and spat. “Fucking
gypsies,” he said. “I don't believe this."
Young Fyodor traced the direction of his gaze and
stared at the colorful group-men and women, brightly dressed, sat on sacks and
rolled-up blankets, talking loudly in a language Fyodor didn't understand-a
secret Gypsy language, he surmised. A few half-naked toddlers played in the
dust. All of these people had dark skin and shining black eyes,
and the women wore long flowered skirts and jangling earrings and necklaces.
The men's teeth shone white in their bearded faces. It was the first time he'd
seen real gypsies, and he stood entranced until his mother tugged his hand and
dragged him along.
"Don't stare,” she said, irritably, and turned to
Fyodor's stepfather. “Both of you. They'll see you
looking at them."
It was too late-one of the women rose from the bundle
she sat on and approached them calling out in a smoky accented voice, “Wait up,
beautiful, I'll tell you your fortune if you gild my hand."
"No, thank you,” Fyodor's mother said firmly, and
turned away to leave. “We don't believe in this stuff."
The gypsy woman was not so easily discouraged. Her
dark fingers grabbed Fyodor's mother's wrist, and she spoke so quickly her
words blended into a threatening chant, “If you don't gild my hand, your eyes
will burst, your womb will wither, your child will suffer…” All the while, she
held her other hand palm-up, as if offering something invisible.
Fyodor's mother stopped and rifled through her
handbag. “Here,” she said, and put the money-not coins, real paper money-into
the woman's open hand. “Just leave us be."
"Tell me it wasn't our grocery money,” the
stepfather said. “I can't believe you just did that."
Fyodor's mother did not answer but shot him a fierce
look and pulled Fyodor closer to her in a protective gesture. Even though she
did not believe in hexes, she preferred to pay them off rather than dare to
prove them wrong. Fyodor was too young to verbalize his new knowledge, but he
was now dimly aware that even the most remote threat is too much when it is
directed against someone one cares about. His suffering was worth actual paper
money. He had never forgotten that.
* * * *
Young Fyodor's life was quiet, and as the result his
formative experiences were few. Later in life he marveled that he could count
them all on one hand. First, there were gypsies, a vague threat, and his
mother's protectiveness and the stepfather's indifferent malice; then there
were watercolors his mother brought for him as a gift for his first day of
school. He remembered the first of September, he in his new school uniform-a
blue jacket with matching pants-in file with the multitude of other children in
the schoolyard. The girls were wearing white ribbons in their hair, and brown
dresses with white aprons. All children carried flowers to present to their
teachers; gladioli predominated. He did not remember the rest of the school
day, but he remembered the set of twenty-four paints, neatly arranged in tiny
wells sunk in the ornate wooden case, which his mother presented to him when he
got home. She also gave him an album of porous, fibrous paper, which drank the
paint thirstily, absorbing it.
He painted so much that he ran out of colors, and only
the black well retained a sliver of paint, like a curving strip of dirt under a
fingernail. He went through a brief black period, until his mother grew worried
and bought him another set. He dreamt of painting and daydreamed about it
during the interminable school days. When the winter came, he left the pages
blank to depict snow that covered everything, and punctuated it with sets of
lonely footprints, of birds and humans. He wanted to draw the gypsies but
resisted, fearful that the act of art was magical enough to attract their dark
attention. But they hid in the edges of his paintings, hinted at by shadows and
an occasional flash of white teeth and gold jewelry. He struggled to keep them
out but still they found their way in.
During the summer, students descended upon Zvenigorod,
coming from Moscow for their summer practice. They were future biologists, and
Fyodor watched them shyly as they marched from the train station to the bus
stop, where the bus took them to the mysterious Field Station. They carried
knapsacks, laughed loudly, and smoked, and acted as if they owned the city. The
stepfather disapproved of them. “Look at those kids,” he would say. “Damn
Muscovites. Act as if they own the place, like their shit smells of
lilacs."
"Are Muscovites worse than gypsies?” Fyodor dared
to ask.
The stepfather spat, his rough face furrowing.
“Thieves are thieves, however you paint them."
Fyodor watched the receding backs with knapsacks,
jeans, canvas sneakers. They didn't look like thieves, and he shared the
observation.
"Moscow is privileged,” the stepfather said. “See
this?” He pointed at the cracking asphalt and stray dogs sleeping in the shade
of the storefront that hadn't ever sold anything worthwhile. “We don't have
anything so all the party bosses in Moscow can eat and drink and do what they
want. They rob the rest of the country and take it to Moscow. Whoever lives
there is a thief, plain and simple. Just like those gypsy pickpockets, God help
us."
As Fyodor grew, he continued to paint, and he also
started to see his stepfather's point. At the same time, he wanted to go to
Moscow, to the land of plenty and the carefree students who came every year,
like migratory swallows, and left again before the summer was over. Fyodor
wanted that freedom to pass through as he pleased, and when he finished school,
he applied to the Moscow State University, biology department, even though he
had little interest in the subject. He just wanted to return to the town he
lived in for the past ten years as a visitor, just passing through.
* * * *
He failed the entrance exams, but delayed returning
home. He called his mother and lied about unexpected complications, and spent
the night at the train station. The next morning, he left his suitcase in the
locker and went sightseeing-he visited the requisite Red Square and the Mausoleum,
and gawked a bit at St Basil's Cathedral. He meandered through the streets and
stood on bridges, watching the green-brown river below. Everywhere he went, he
carried his album and watercolors, and took quick sketches, mostly just blurs
of colors with only hints of shapes of everything that caught his fancy.
"You're pretty good,” a girl said next to him.
He looked up and realized that she was a gypsy-long
skirt, black as soot hair, soft eyes and mouth. A panic struck him, and he
babbled. “Please don't hex me,” he begged. “I don't have any money, honest. I'm
out of town."
The corners of her mouth dimpled as if she were
holding back a smile. “I won't hex you, handsome,” she said, clearly enjoying
her power over him. “Just paint me a picture, and we're good. I'll even give
you a talisman that'll protect you from any gypsy curse."
"I don't believe in talismans,” he said.
She laughed. “But you believe in curses? Come on,
paint."
"You can have this one.” He proffered the
sketchpad with his most recent view of the river and the Alexander
Garden-splotches of green and light-on the other side.
She shook her head, and her earrings and necklaces
jangled. “I want a picture of me,” she said.
He obeyed the woman, not quite sure why he did so. He
painted in quick strokes, not waiting for the watercolor, barely diluted by the
dank river water, to penetrate the paper, slathering it thick like oil. He
poured on blacks and blues for the cloud of her hair, he painted gold and
silver on her thin wrists, carmine for the lips, greens and yellows for her
shawl and wide skirts. He painted with abandon, with catharsis-finally, finally, he had given in, unable to keep the
gypsies out. Now he would be stolen away for sure; he felt relieved at the
thought. When everything you had ever feared happened you didn't have to fear
anymore.
The girl looked at the picture and smiled. “I like
it,” she said. “Here.” She unwrapped a thin chain with
a copper circle from her neck and handed it to Fyodor. “Here's your talisman.
Now no gypsy could harm you."
He studied the dull circle that looked like an old
coin polished into obscurity. “Does it really work?"
"No,” she said, “but neither do
hexes. Come on, put it on."
He obeyed.
"Now,” the girl said, “do you have anything to
do?"
"No,” he said, and followed her when she
beckoned. On the way, he told her about the failed exams and the dusty asphalt
of Zvenigorod growing soft under one's feet in the summer heat. He told her
that he had no plans and no desire to go back.
"You can stay with my tabor,” she offered. That's
what a group of gypsies was called, he remembered. A tabor of
gypsies-like a murder of crows or a pride of lions, a special word just for
them.
"No, thanks,” Fyodor said. “I don't
think I'm ready for that yet. Where are we going?"
She pointed ahead, at the squat gigantic building with
arched windows, which he recognized as a train station.
"Paveletzky Terminal,” she told him. “We're
staying there, for now at least. They have a very nice waiting hall, and the
courtyard. We need the courtyard for the bear."
"The bear?” he repeated.
She nodded. “Uh-huh. I think we're the only tabor in
this city that does bear shows. Only he's getting old."
"Oh."
The station bustled with travelers, and the din of
voices and sharp sounds of children's crying assaulted Fyodor; he hugged his
sketchbook to his chest.
"There are the Roma.” The girl pointed.
They were not like Fyodor remembered them. Instead of
bright colors they were dressed in drab city clothing, dirty with neglect and
age. Only their dark faces indicated that they were truly alien. “Their clothes…”
Fyodor faltered. “What about you? You're dressed like a proper gypsy."
The girl laughed. “What, this?
I'm coming from a party. This costume is something we wear when we have to
perform."
"And you pickpocket in the regular clothes."
The girl gave him a long look. “Pretty
much, yeah. Want to see the bear?"
He nodded and followed her through the hall of the
train station to a small grass-covered yard in the back. Furtively, he made
sure that his watch was still attached to the wristband, and that the band
still circled his wrist.
The bear chained to a wooden stake thrust carelessly
into the ground was old and arthritic, and his rheumy
eyes watched Fyodor with indifference born of old age and a lifetime of
oppression. The fur under his eyes was sticky with gunk, and his chin was bare,
as if he rubbed it too much. There were also large bald spots on his sides,
gray skin amid mangy brown fur, like patches of lichen on the stone. The bear
smelled strongly too, of wet dog, iodine and bad teeth.
"Poor thing,” Fyodor said.
"Poor Misha,” the girl agreed. “He's so old, my mom says he won't live through the winter."
The bear sat on his haunches, his sides rising and
falling, his pink tongue hanging out among the broken teeth; Fyodor doubted he
would survive the summer. “You call him Misha?"
The girl laughed. “Yeah, I know. Original,
right? By the way, I'm Oksana. You?"
"Fyodor.” He thought a bit. “Why did you drag me here?"
"You said you had nothing else to do.” She still
smiled, but the look in her eyes was crestfallen.
Had he been older or not so preoccupied, he would've
understood that she was showing
kindness to a stranger, looking for a friend or just offering
a hand. If he had not been so scared of being stolen in all these years, he
would've known better than to scoff, and say, “Look, I told you I don't have
any money. None."
Oksana just stared at him. The bear moaned.
"I better go,” he said. He had sense enough not
to add, I wouldn't have fucked you anyway, but he thought it, and suspected
that Oksana could guess his thought.
* * * *
He never went back to Zvenigorod-another gypsy
encounter, coupled with the presence of the amulet and the image of the old and
ailing bear convinced him that going back would mean stagnation and death. As
the formerly solid structures and ideologies crumbled and the social services
collapsed one by one, he learned how to live the life of the street artist. He squatted
when he couldn't find other options, preferring the attics of the apartment
buildings downtown, not too far from Arbat where he sold the watercolors and
bought art supplies and booze; Herzen Street was the reliable favorite.
Sometimes he stayed with the hippies who liked Arbat and the artists, and a few
of whom didn't mind his overnight presence on one couch or another. Winters
were hard but he survived; if it got too cold in his attic, he dragged himself
down the stairs, into the streets, into the flashing lights of ambulances who
had the good grace of collecting indigents on especially cold nights and taking
them to hospitals and shelters, wherever there were beds and food. Sisyphus’
labor if there ever was one, because the winters kept returning, the indigents
grew in number, and the ambulances got their funding slashed time and time
again.
He was not looking forward to the winters, and come
September he started to drink and worry more and paint less-nowadays, he stuck
with the views from the roofs and attics he frequented. Every time he saw
gypsies, he searched for Oksana, but she was either not there or he failed to
recognize her in her street clothes-he remembered her earrings better than her
face. He painted her occasionally, hoping to summon her by sympathetic magic,
which turned out to be as useless as the defaced coin hanging on the chain
around his neck.
The tourists liked buying Oksana's portrait-they liked
anything colorful and exotic, like magpies. They were also as loud as magpies,
talking at Fyodor in slow, loudly enunciated syllables. He just smiled and gave
no sign that he understood English; he didn't have to-exchange of art for
foreign green money was a silent transaction. Moreover, if he played dumb, he
got to hear them talking about him-terrible, did you
see how drunk he was? This is the problem with this country,
communism really fucked them all up. Now hopefully things would get better.
They'd still drink though.
Like hell they will, Fyodor thought. Although still
young, he had learned that things did not get better but worse, that entropy
was winning, that despite the appearance of order the universe had one
direction-toward heat death, the second law of thermodynamics said as much, and
who was he to disagree with Herr von Helmholtz. Everything sought its lowest
energy status, and Fyodor had found his.
* * * *
It was only a matter of time before he discovered he
was not the only one finding stable equilibria in low places. Everywhere close
to the ground time slowed down, and if he pressed his ear to the pavement, not
caring if passersby took him for a drunk, he heard voices, quiet as the
whispering of the growing grass, complaining and crying in an unceasing
susurrus. The coin around his neck grew cold when it touched the ground, and
afterwards the metal burned his skin with the collected cold it retained far
longer than was prudent.
When his heart grew too heavy with the whispers, he
went to the roof, to get away from them. But sooner or later they called, and
he descended back into streets wet with the first September rains, and sold
paintings, and listened to the ground talk to him.
It was a surprise when the birds appeared-he expected
things to come from under the ground, to buckle the cobbles of New Arbat and
reach up, up, consuming the world, pulling it down to the lowest energy state.
But there they were, flapping; he followed them as they circled over the
hungry, troubled city.
As his fascination grew, he ate less and drank more;
he hardly ever slept. And when the woman asking about them showed up, he wasn't
quite sure what he'd seen and what he'd dreamt or imagined. He desperately
wanted to show it to someone, just to make sure he wasn't going crazy. He
wanted a confirmation, a witness who would stand with him and watch the birds
emerge from closed windows reflecting nothing but the night sky; he wanted
someone else to see doors reflected in puddles open and admit small, weak
creatures into the world.
When night fell, he danced with anticipation, the only
seller remaining after the ghastly pink streetlights went on, he and his lone
painting. The crowd of buyers and gawkers thinned as well and he slouched
against the storefront, in the shadows.
"Where is he?” a man said nearby.
"Right here.” The woman he met the day before stepped into a warm
puddle of light and out. “I hope you don't mind that I brought Yakov
along."
"Mind? Why should I mind?” He gave a sideways look to a
squat short man with a messenger bag over his shoulder. The bag squawked.
"It's my bird,” the man explained. “He fell out
of the nest."
Fyodor took his time looking over a young crow.
Something about the man made him uneasy-the way he moved, so crisp, almost
robotic, as if he worked on keeping in shape. Short hair.
Fyodor cringed and hoped he wasn't one of those iron pumpers who, a few years
back, used to beat hippies and forcibly cut their hair, but had now graduated
to racketeering.
"You wanted to show me something?” Galina said.
"Yeah.” He motioned. “Come on. It's not far away."
He found his way by memory rather than street names;
he couldn't remember the street names if he tried, but he remembered turns,
uneven sidewalks, the calm faces of the old buildings.
He meandered, but finally found the place he was looking for-an arch spanning
between two buildings, leading into a courtyard dominated by a large puddle.
"There,” he said, and pointed at the black
surface of the puddle marred by a few oil slicks leaking from a beat-up car
parked nearby.
The puddle reflected the faint halos of
streetlights, diffuse in the misty air, and the front of the nearest building.
A small lamp mounted above the door illuminated its surface, and in the
reflection the door glowed with a milky light.
"Watch,” Fyodor said. They did, until their eyes
weren't sure if they were looking at the reflection or at the real door-the
still surface of the puddle completed the illusion of absolute darkness
surrounding an upside-down door, hung in empty space for no particular purpose.
Then the door started to open, slowly.
"Don't look up,” Fyodor said. “Don't look at the
real thing. Watch the reflection-this is what's important."
The door swung open and blackened with a multitude of
starlings-they came screeching from the door in the puddle into the night air
above their heads, with no transition and no trace of water on the glistening
feathers.
The crow in Yakov's bag cawed in recognition and
flapped its wings. The thing couldn't fly, but that didn't stop it from trying.
Before Yakov could stuff him back, the crow strained and flapped, and fell. It
made no ripples on the surface as it fell through the door in the puddle and
disappeared from view.
4: Entrance
Galina looked at Yakov who stared, slack-jawed, at the
puddle that had just swallowed his crow. She made a shallow gesture of poking
in the puddle, but felt only water and muck on her fingers, and no crow. The
reflection of the door bobbed on the waves she raised, and broke into slivers
sharply outlined in the moon-white, rippling across the surface.
"Maybe you should go after your bird,” Fyodor
told Yakov. His dark eyes reflected the burning ember of his cigarette, and as
he dragged on it the flashes of orange light lit his hollow face.
"Go where?” Yakov said.
Fyodor motioned at the puddle, it surface calm again.
The door in the puddle was closed.
Galina looked from one man to the other. They were all
at an impasse-it seemed equally absurd to deny the crow's disappearance or the
reflected door's ability to admit things somewhere else. Galina was used to
strange happenings, but having someone to share them with her was a new
experience. She felt exposed, defenseless without the comforting blanket of
madness that would hide her from things she didn't want to see, explain them
away-much as people with cats had no reason to fear the night sounds haunting
their houses. It's just the cat, they would tell themselves even when the
feline was sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed. There's nothing to worry
about.
There was something to worry about, Galina thought.
She waited for Yakov to say something-of the three of them he seemed the most
balanced, the most normal. Perhaps this is why he still remained transfixed,
his eyes panicked. “You said he would know something about the
disappearances."
"You don't think this puddle has anything to do
with people turning into birds?” Galina said.
"People don't turn into birds,” Yakov answered.
“It was just an illusion, a trick of light-it was so
windy out."
"You saw it,” Galina said. “You saw
it too."
Yakov didn't answer, and Galina stared at the upside
down door in the puddle. Still closed, she realized with a pang. The same
twinge of disappointment she felt when she would spend hours sitting in a
subway station, watching the dark hole of the tunnel, waiting for something to
happen. She didn't know what it was about the subways-perhaps the fact that
they were carved into a dark wet heart of the earth-that made them so magical.
But she used to have an unshakeable conviction that they were the way to a
hidden world where she could escape.
Maybe she didn't try hard enough, waited long
enough-she left the station when the subway closed, instead of hiding and
waiting overnight. She headed straight home instead of wandering through the
night city until the sky pinked and the long stationary clouds grew
translucent. She didn't want it bad enough.
The desire was bled out of her over time, from one
hospital to the next, from one diagnosis to another, until she was convinced of
her own insanity for even thinking that escape was possible. And now, when the
insanity became comforting and dulling, it was yanked away from her, and the
old dreams of escape stirred, terrifying and inviting.
"We better go,” Yakov said to her.
She smiled. “This is how you investigate things? ‘Come
on, let's go'? No wonder so many murders are never
solved."
Yakov shrugged, and looked away.
The barb hurt, and she immediately felt sorry for him.
“I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, my sister is gone, and I just think
that perhaps we should look into this."
"Look into what?” He barked a nervous laugh. “People turning into birds? Doors leading
into puddles? Crazies?” He indicated Fyodor
with a toss of his head. “How do you propose we investigate something like that?"
"We could try and go through that door,” she
said.
Yakov shook his head. “It's just a reflection."
"Your pet would beg to differ. Are you just going
to abandon your bird?"
"He's a wild bird,” Yakov said. “In any case,
suppose you're right. What the fuck could be behind that door?"
Galina thought for a bit. Her childhood imaginings of
unicorns and fairies seemed far-fetched-why would there be unicorns and fairies
under this dark city that towered over them, surrounded them from all sides
with its suffocating stone and metal? What good could hide under it? “I don't
know,” she said. “But I'm sure it'll shed some light on what happened to
Masha."
Yakov threw his hands into the air and paced around
the puddle. “How do you even know that this has anything to do with your
sister? Because this lunatic told you so?"
"I'm not a lunatic,” Fyodor interjected.
Galina ignored him. “There are two very strange things
happening at the same time and you don't think they have anything to do with
one another?"
"It's possible,” Yakov said.
“But-"
His words were interrupted by a soft whistling that
came from every direction at once. A second later, a great cloud of birds
entered the yard, their wings beating against the thick night air. Galina
covered her face and hunched over-the birds on the roof were too fresh in her
memory.
The birds gave her no notice, and flew straight
through the puddle, disappearing without a trace; only a few crows still hung
in the air, their voices harsh.
"Now what do you think?” Galina straightened.
"All right,” Yakov said. “They're connected. But
we can't go in there-when you reached into the puddle, nothing happened,
remember? It was just a puddle."
"Exactly,” Fyodor said. “You reached into the
puddle. You saw it, not the door. But anyway, this one would be too small for
us."
Galina looked over the reflection. “Where would we
find a bigger one?"
"I know a place,” Fyodor said. “It's big. Only I
never saw anyone going in or out of there."
"Where is it?” Yakov asked.
"Not far,” Fyodor said. “In a subway
station-Arbatskaya, I think. Or Smolenskaya, who the fuck
knows the difference."
"On the dark-blue line, or the
light-blue?” Galina asked.
Fyodor only shrugged and headed out of the courtyard,
under the arch, his back lopsided in the wind.
Subway, Galina thought. She always knew it would be a
subway, and once again she lamented her lack of persistence. All this time she
thought she was delusional, while in reality she wasn't delusional enough to
keep the hope alive.
Yakov caught up to her; the flap of his messenger bag
gaped open, as if distraught. “It was just a crow I found,” he said. “Not a
pet."
"And the puddle was just a puddle,” she replied.
“Do you always backpedal like this? Every time something significant happens
you just tell yourself it isn't important?"
He thought for a bit. “Yes,” he admitted. “It's easier
that way."
Galina nodded. “It is. I do it too, sometimes.
Sorry."
"I am here in the middle of the night, ain't I?”
he said.
His defensiveness surprised her. She was used to the
police as enforcers, at least in the old days. Now, they seemed superfluous and
helpless, struggling against the tide all of them were struggling against, with
little success. How could things change like that? How could the world go
upside-down overnight? They were promised a future, and having it yanked from
under everyone's noses just didn't seem fair.
And now, this. They walked across the cobbles of New Arbat, the pink
glow of its streetlights too pink, too sick. Voices came from the side
streets-drunken and rowdy, and Galina quickened her
step instinctively. There was no smell of leaves in this part of the city, just
smoke and gasoline that
singed the back of her throat. The pink light painted long
ugly streaks across the facades, and occasional gusts of wind brought with them
a faint smell of the McDonald's restaurant that has just opened downtown. It
was the death smell of the world she used to know, and Galina frowned.
They approached the subway station, and Galina
recognized the building of the Ministry of Defense the station was built into;
Arbatskaya, then. Fyodor led them inside, deftly hopping over the turnstile.
Galina and Yakov exchanged a look but paid. They passed under the giant
circular candelabra hanging from the ceiling like an underground sun, and
headed toward the escalator. Galina paused, transfixed by the sudden light and
the white marble of cupped ceiling, and stepped onto the escalator with the
trepidation of someone entering a waterfall; they paused for a brief second at
the highest point, and plunged downward, in a dreamlike, dignified descent.
The underground portion of the
station waited for them with its low ceiling, cold and ornate like a
sarcophagus. The columns, leaning
away from the train tracks, met the ceiling in soft arches, like the ribs of an
upside-down funeral barge. Galina tilted her head up, to better take in the
station closing softly around her. The train roared in the tunnel, getting nearer;
a few passengers on the benches stirred and stepped closer to the tracks, as if
fearful that the train wouldn't see them and pass them by.
"Where's a reflection?” Yakov asked Fyodor. “I
thought we needed a reflection."
"The train is coming.” Fyodor stabbed out his
cigarette on one of the columns; in the cold fluorescent light his face
appeared even more angular and wild, with sharp shadows jutting under his jaw,
the stubble bristling, the eyebrows drawn over the red-rimmed eyes. He stepped
closer to the platform, to the center of one of the arches that connected the
station to the platform, and motioned for Galina and Yakov to join him. They
flanked him silently, and Fyodor's shoulder's tensed. No wonder, Galina
thought; she didn't like being surrounded like that either, crowded by pretend
kindness.
The train pulled into the station, its sleek shape
hissing to a stop. The door opened, letting people out and others in.
"Are we getting on?” Galina asked.
Fyodor shook his head. “Watch the glass,” he said.
The doors sighed closed and the train came into
motion. In its windows and doors that went by quicker and quicker, Galina saw
the reflections of the arches and her own wide-eyed face, distorted by the
streaks of light and shadow, the concave glass. She stared into the arch-as the
train sped up, the reflection blurred and solidified, sliding from one pane to
the next with barely an interruption. She watched the faces of people inside
blur and disappear, subsumed by growing darkness
between white marble arches.
"Here goes nothing,” she heard and felt a strong
tug on her hand. She flailed, lost her balance and fell forward, cringing in
anticipation of impact with the quickly moving train or a third rail, but
keeping her eyes on the wobbling white arch. Cool air blew on her face, and she
finally fell on her hands and knees, something warm and wet under her fingers.
* * * *
"Are you all right?” Yakov asked. He crouched
down next to her, the whites of his eyes gleaming in the dusk.
"Yes.” The moisture was seeping through the
fabric of her jeans and she stood up, her knees wobbly and her stomach queasy.
Fyodor caught her elbow, steadying her. “Took a spill, there."
Both men fussed over her, as if to avoid having to
look around and notice the white arch cupping above them and a dim road
stretching in every direction. She fantasized briefly that it was just an
abandoned tunnel, a secret subway station compartment she had fallen into, and
she laughed. “We're actually here,” she told both of her companions as they
looked at her, worried. “This is real."
"If we only knew where ‘here’ was,” Yakov said.
"Underground,” Fyodor said. “Isn't that
obvious?"
The road they stood on stretched before them, a single
dirt lane worn deep in twin ruts. Tents, wooden shacks, abandoned haylofts
lined the road non-committally, sometimes tucked back under the clumps of
gangly black bushes with twisting long branches, sometimes crowding it.
"It looks like my home village,” Fyodor said.
Yakov laughed. “No offense, but
congrats on getting out."
Fyodor's gaze lingered over the road, and a slow smile
stretched his lips, black in dim underground. “Thanks. Same
to you, limitchik. What, you thought no one noticed?"
Yakov's face darkened, and
his fists grew large and heavy. “Don't you talk to me like that.
I'll fucking arrest you."
"Oh, a cop.” Fyodor laughed. “What, you think if you bark louder
than everyone else and protect their shit they'll treat you like a man and not
a dog? Keep dreaming, mutt."
Galina frowned. “What are you talking about? Who are ‘they'?"
Both men whipped around. “You,” they said in unison.
"You have something against Muscovites?” she
asked, surprised. And laughed before they could answer.
“And why are you discussing it now?"
"As good a time as any,” Yakov said. “But this
ain't Moscow, so we can leave it for now."
Fyodor shook his head. “You're sure we're not under
some KGB dungeon? This road probably leads to the Lubyanka or a secret prison
or something."
"I thought you blamed gypsies,” Galina said.
Fyodor lit another cigarette. “I blame everyone."
Galina quelled another argument before it broke out by
starting down the road. “I wonder if it leads to a river,” she said. “Like the
Styx."
Yakov walked next to her, pointedly leaving Fyodor to
bring up the rear. “I'm expecting more of a hovel on chicken shanks situation,”
he said. “You know, like in the children's tales."
"I don't,” Galina said. “All my childhood books
were translated-English stories. Jack the Giant
Slayer, and others I can't remember."
"Huh,” Yakov said. “That's weird. I also had a
bunch of English books when I was little, from my grandfather. When we left
Serpuhov, my mom threw them out."
The shacks and tents gave way to trees, a park of
sorts. The trees stood tall and bare, their skeletal branches phosphorescing
with a weak light. They crowded the road and the branches touched above their
heads, forming a lacy canopy against the black backdrop of non-existent sky.
"Definitely Baba Yaga territory,” Fyodor said. “I'd
like to see you try to apprehend her."
"Simple. Citizen Yaga, you're under arrest,”
Yakov responded, and all three snickered uneasily.
The road meandered and almost disappeared, thinning to
barely visible tracks in the fat white grass the sight of which filled Galina
with irrational disgust. White birds-starlings and rooks-studded the trees like
pimples. Galina wondered if they were different from the birds outside, or if
the regular birds gradually changed color underground, shedding their dark feathers
and growing new ones, white like shrouds.
A faint noise that grew for some time finally crossed
into her awareness, and she listened to the quiet but powerful throb. It
sounded as if it came from a great distance, and she guessed that close by it
would roar, deafening. Like a waterfall, she thought, the waterfall of the
escalator that brought her down to the overturned skeleton of the funeral
barge-the subway station had foreshadowed what was concealed below, and she had
to wonder if it were intentional.
People outside, the people that used to run things
back in her remote pioneer childhood and who still seemed to be running them
now, must have had a hand in the identical design of the above and below
ground; suddenly, Fyodor's words about the secret KGB dungeons did not sound as
ridiculous. It made sense that the communists would find and harness the river
Styx, perhaps turn it around and plop a hydroelectric station on it, squatting
like an ugly cement toad and polluting cold black waters. Charon was dead,
rotted to nothing in a labor camp some years ago, and his barge, raised to the
surface, was cynically used as the skeleton of the train station below, and
nobody ever knew. They probably still charged for the crossing though, and she
dug through her pockets.
"What are you looking for?” Yakov said.
"Coins,” she answered. “In case we need to pay to
cross Styx."
"I have it covered,” Fyodor said from behind.
“Don't worry about coins. But why are you so hung up on Styx?"
"Listen,” Galina said. “Doesn't it sound like a
waterfall?"
They listened. The thrumming and the distant roar were
growing louder.
"That doesn't sound like a river,” Yakov said. “It's-mechanical."
"Hydroelectric station,” Galina said.
"That's a station all right,” Fyodor said, and pointed
at the clearing before them. The trees stepped away from the path, clearing the
view of something huge and undoubtedly manmade, gray and low to the ground. It
looked like an abandoned construction site, with irregular planes and
smokestacks jutting upwards and covered with sailcloth in places, as if to
protect the impossibly large thing from
rain.
They approached the construction cautiously; in the
gray underground light, it seemed especially dead. They circled around the
base, all the while looking for people. The thing shuddered with some internal
torment, producing a hum so loud they had to yell to hear each other;
fortunately, there wasn't much to say except an occasional exclamation of
surprise.
The walls of the contraption were cracked with age,
and thick white grass stems had invaded the fissures; a black shrub hung out of
an especially large crack, and its roots, thick as ropes, crumbled the cement
around it trying to reach the ground.
Galina circled the foundation as the sailcloth flapped
over her head like a pair of sluggish wings. She looked away from the
construction, and called to Yakov and Fyodor to come and see. Previously
concealed from their view, a town hid in the shadow of the humming
monstrosity-the first wooden buildings and pavements started just a hundred
meters away or so. More importantly, there were people in the streets.
They entered the town; at first Galina thought that
they had stumbled upon a secret underground prison, but the people seemed too
well fed and lacked that haunted spiritual look she usually associated with
political prisoners.
Except one man. Dressed in a thick sailcloth jacket, hol-low-cheeked
and old, he stopped in the middle of the narrow street, his deeply-set eyes
catching Galina's. “New here?” he asked in a low rumbly voice.
Galina was about to answer, but Yakov interrupted her.
“Yes,” he said. “We are searching for missing people…"
"My sister,” Galina interjected quickly.
"Yes. People turning into birds-do you know
anything about it?"
The old man chewed the air with his empty mouth.
“Birds,” he said. “Don't know about them. Sovin's my name. I can show you
around.” He looked over Galina and the rest, as if appraising them. “Funny we
don't see more young people around here these days."
"Here?” Yakov said.
He motioned around him, vaguely. “Yeah,
here. Where the fuck else? You're underground, and that's all anyone
ever needs to know. As I was saying, not many young people come here these
days; I'm really surprised."
"Why?” Galina asked.
"It's always more when things turn shifty on the
surface,” Sovin said. “I hear in the thirties and forties we were getting
refugees in droves. In the sixties it was better for a bit, but then in the
seventies and eighties, there's always been a steady trickle. We were taking
bets on how much the traffic will increase in the nineties, what with all the
fucking insanity that's going on. But nothing, imagine that."
"What about birds?” Yakov said.
"That's the errant magic, and I really don't know
much about it. Don't care about that shit-I'm a scientist."
"Who can we ask about them, then?”
Galina asked.
Sovin spat a long stream of foul, brown saliva. “Ask
David Michaelovich, the pub owner. He sells booze to everyone, even the freaky
things."
Galina turned to Yakov to ask his opinion on what
those freaky things might be, but was struck by the sudden change in his
demeanor. He swallowed repeatedly, as if there were a fishbone stuck in his
throat. “That's an unusual name,” he finally said. His voice came out stilted,
unnaturally calm.
"Yeah,” Sovin said. “His last name is Richards, a
naturalized Englishman-not many foreigners here all and all, but some. He used
to live in Moscow, worked as a radio announcer or something. The stupid ass
moved here in 1937, to help build communism, of all things. Guess three times
how long until he was accused of espionage."
"That's dumb,” Fyodor said.
"Yeah,” Sovin agreed. “Still, the man had ideals,
and you gotta admire that."
"He's dead,” Yakov said suddenly. “Dead and buried."
"That's what we all are, in a sense,” Sovin said.
“We are underground."
"Do you know him?” Galina whispered to Yakov.
Yakov nodded, still swallowing the nonexistent bone.
His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. “He's my grandpa, I think."
"Well, come along then,” Sovin said, and moved
with great speed and decisiveness down a side road, his rough military boots
clanking on the wooden pavement like charging cavalry. Only then did Galina
notice that he had a pronounced limp, which didn't seem to affect his agility.
Galina thought that the town looked surprisingly
normal, if one was willing to ignore the glowing, weeping trees, and the
buildings designed by fancy rather than a robust engineering sense. The houses,
coquettishly hiding behind wild tangles of weeds and brambles, winked at her
with the warm buttery eyes of their windows, all different sizes. “You have
electricity?” she asked Sovin.
"Of course we do; what the fuck do you think it
is, the Middle Ages?” He spat again, but this time a
small blue skeletal shape scuttled from under the wooden planks of the pavement
and licked the brown, lumpy spit clean with its feathery tongue. “We have
electricity,” Sovin continued. “You must've passed the station on your way
here, haven't you?"
Galina remembered the cement and sailcloth
monstrosity. “So that what it was. What does it run on?"
"Whatever falls from the surface,” Sovin said.
“Never you mind that; now, go talk to David Michaelovich."
He stopped before a low brown building, sprawled like
a giant starfish; one of its rays jutted into the street, halting any passerby
on his way. The building bore a terse inscription made in bright yellow paint.
“Pub” it announced to the world in Russian and English.
"Come on in,” Sovin said. “Don't be shy. It's
like a fucking Casablanca in there, only with more beer and less music and
pointless talk and shit."
Galina thought that for a scientist
Sovin cursed an awful lot, but followed him through the heavy door, with Yakov
and Fyodor behind her. On the threshold Galina turned to Yakov and whispered,
“It's going to be all right."
"I know,” he said. “It's just… I've never even
met my father, but here I am, about to be introduced to my grandpa who's been
dead for fifty years. My mom comes to his grave every weekend."
Galina struggled for words, but failed to find
anything appropriate. She followed Sovin inside, stepping carefully on the
thick carpet of sawdust.
There were wooden tables and stools, and a few people
drinking and talking in low voices. She thought that the place looked just like
an English pub imagined from an occasional bootlegged movie and Dickens’
novels.
The low bar, covered in round traces of glasses
forming a complex fractal pattern, held up an impressive battery of variously
shaped and sized bottles, bearing homemade labels with careful handwriting and
simple but expressive ink drawings.
The man behind the bar looked young-no more than
thirty-five; his muscular forearms shone with droplets of water from recent
dishwashing. He wiped his hands on the towel tucked into his belt, and smiled
at Galina. He had a thin face, and his eyes looked at the new guests
attentively through a pair of wire-rimmed round spectacles perched on a long
arched nose. He nodded at Galina and smiled wider, showing white uneven teeth.
“New recruit,” he said in strongly accented Russian. “Welcome home, dear. Can I
get you anything to drink?"
"Stop flirting with the broad,” said Sovin, and
pulled Yakov, suddenly shy and blushing, in front of the bar. “That's your
relative, or so he claims. I'll leave you to your tender reunion as soon as you
get me a beer on the house."
David watched Yakov over the rim of his spectacles as
he poured Sovin a generous glass of amber beer from one of the bottles. “All
right,” he said after Sovin shuffled off in the direction of one of the tables,
where two old men played checkers. “And who exactly are you?"
5: David
"I am your grandson,” Yakov said. “I think.” He
couldn't quite accept that this man, barely older than Yakov, was removed from
him by two generations.
David's eyebrows steepled sharply and his face paled.
“Oh no,” he whispered. “Tanya was pregnant?"
"Grandma Tanya.” Saying these words brought to memory
a tall stout woman with the strong voice of a schoolteacher and long-held
suffering in her eyes. “She was pregnant with my mom. When you didn't come
home, she thought that the NKVD got you. She packed a bag the same night and
caught a train to Serpuhov; she had relatives there."
David nodded. “Smart. How is she?"
Yakov was not very good at telling people that someone
they cared about died. No matter how much practice in bearing bad news his line
of work threw at him, he still stammered and averted his eyes. “Dead,” he said,
studying the patterns on the surface of the bar. “Twenty years. I remember her
though."
"So do I,” his
grandfather said. “I am so sorry."
"She thought you were dead. She wrote to the
NKVD, but they wouldn't tell her anything. In the sixties, they finally sent
her a letter of apology-the standard form they sent to all families of those
repressed.” Yakov chewed his lip, remembering the letter his grandmother kept
in a small cigar box with happy Cuban women on the lid. Photographs and
letters, some yellowed, some new. Photographs of baby Yakov
and his mom, passport photographs of his grandmother looking resolutely into
the black eye of the camera as if it were a gun. One
photograph of his grandfather, making a silly face, smiling. So yellow
and brittle, she didn't let Yakov touch it, especially since his fingers were
usually covered with sticky goo of one origin or another. But she let him look.
And letters from her grateful students, birthday cards from relatives in
Serpuhov, diplomas, dry flowers, and that one letter on government letterhead.
Posthumously cleared of all charges, it said. Rehabilitated.
Even now, Yakov tasted the bitterness of the word on his tongue, doubly now,
when the man exonerated in the letter stood before him, absentmindedly wiping a
beer glass.
David nodded. The glass clanked out of his hands and
rolled across the rough surface of the bar, obviously whittled from the trunk
of a glowtree. He caught the glass and straightened it. “All right,” he said.
“Let's sit down and talk."
Yakov made an apologetic wave to Galina and Fyodor,
who sat at the table with Sovin and his ancient friends. They waved back, probably glad to have the relief of sitting down with
a beer and not worrying for a bit.
David settled at a small table tucked away in the
remote end of one of the pub's arms, by a triangular window that allowed in
some light from the trees outside, and the view of a row of backyards,
overgrown with pale weeds. He brought two glasses and a bottle with him, and poured
as soon as Yakov sat down. “Well,” David said, “let me start with my version of
the story."
* * * *
David was born in 1900 in Lancashire, outside of
Manchester, in a place not so different from the underground town-there was
little light, and coal dust hung in the air, giving everything a dusty,
black-and-gray look. When it rained, black water slid like sooty tears down the
windowpanes of the cotton mill where David's mother worked; he started when he
was ten, and by fifteen he was involved with a trade union.
By the time he turned seventeen, the cotton industry
had finished its migration overseas, and David left Lancashire to look for a
job. He worked as a laborer at the docks and at the hops farms; at night, he
read. His connection with the labor unions continued, and by the age of
twenty-two he developed an over-inflamed sense of adventure and social justice.
He traveled to Melbourne, Australia-not entirely
voluntarily, as he hinted. There, he joined the nascent Communist Party of
Australia and started a socialist newspaper, which caught the attention of the
authorities somewhat earlier than he believed just, and that of his intended
audience-not at all. His link to the illegal Industrial Workers of the World
led to criminal charges.
"You have to understand,”
he told Yakov and touched his hand with tentative warm familiarity. “In those
days, it took a lot to be considered an undesirable person in Australia. A lot. And I only wished that my political activity had done
someone some good, for all the trouble it caused me.” He sighed. “Anyway."
The socialist newspaper landed him in jail; by the
time he got out, he was a persona non grata in a large segment of
English-speaking world.
"So, what brought you to Moscow?” Yakov asked.
"I decided to go to the source, to the place
where it actually existed. To learn, so I could understand it better, to
explain to people-look, I've seen it, I know. I thought after I had seen
socialism, with some first-hand knowledge, I'd be able to persuade them better.
And if I were good enough, it was only a matter of time before capitalism in
Britain toppled."
"It sounds-naïve,” Yakov said.
David nodded. “That's what everyone here said.
Jackdaws have more sense than I. Even the bloody fairytale things laugh at me.
So be it. Maybe I am stupid. But if I weren't, I would've never met your
grandma. What do you have to say to that?"
Yakov had nothing, and David continued.
Tanya, he said, was the only woman, the only person
who interested him more than reading Das Kapital. He first saw her on the bus
he took to work every morning, and he threw himself into courtship with his
usual single-minded sense of purpose that always got him into trouble.
Ironically, for the first time in his adult life he stayed away from politics;
but politics wouldn't stay away from him.
Poverty in his new country did not faze him; he was
used to poverty, and found that it seemed less tolerable when it was coupled
with the wealth of a few. The language barrier, however, presented a challenge.
He got a job at a meat-processing facility-it required minimal talking, and the
physical exertion helped him think. At night he read as usual, switching for
the time to Russian textbooks. And he waited for the mornings, when he would
get on the bus and watch the girl with serious eyes and a high ponytail, until
she got off a few stops later, by the school. She usually read textbooks on the
bus, and he guessed that she was a schoolteacher; one day, he worked up the
courage to sit next to her and ask about the pronunciation of a word in the
Russian grammar text he carried with him.
"Which word was it?” Yakov
interrupted. It seemed suddenly important, to know what was
the word that brought them together.
"Saucepan,” David said. “I know, not terribly
romantic, but it is a difficult word."
It was spring when they first spoke; by the beginning
of summer, they saw each other every day off the bus. By fall, they were
married.
Tanya kept her maiden name. David was progressive
enough not to mind, but he wondered since it was certainly not traditional. He
finally asked her.
She looked at him with her deadly serious dark eyes.
“Understand, David. This is not a safe time for foreigners. He (she never
mentioned Stalin by name, out of real fear or a superstitious reluctance to
attract the attention of malevolent forces by summoning them by name) is
insane. Do you know how many people disappear every day? Do you know that
you're a suspect just by being a foreigner?"
"But I'm a communist,” he argued.
"You're a fool,” she corrected. “If you want me
to, I'll take your last name. Just know that sharing the last name usually
means sharing the fate."
"I thought you'd die for me,” he joked.
Her face remained serious, and he wasn't certain that
she got it. “No. I would promise to you that I would, if there weren't a real
risk of that coming true."
Now he couldn't decide whether she was joking.
He moved to her apartment, shared with a messy
middle-aged man, with a propensity to mutter to himself
and leave his saucepans soaking in the communal kitchen. Tanya never said
anything to him, but David was not so tolerant. “Please clean up after yourself,” he told the neighbor in his best Russian.
The man only scowled and mumbled something. “I do what
I want,” he said out loud as he was exiting the kitchen. “You raise stink
again, I'll make sure that you're gone."
He told Tanya about the incident, but instead of
laughing with him at the crazy neighbor, she cried. She sat on their bed with
the nickel headboard, covered by her mother's quilt, and wept. “David,” she
said. “You have to understand. You have to be nice to people. You can't afford
a single enemy."
"Why me?"
"Because you are a foreigner. He gave power to the worst people, don't you get it?
You're too good to rat someone out, and you think that everyone else's the same
way. Even the Russians turn each other in, but with you-Maybe we should go to
my aunt, to Serpuhov. It's easier to hide in the provinces."
David was not inclined to hide; soon after, he learned
that an English-language newspaper needed correspondents, and he applied and
got the job by virtue of his ability to read and write English. To his
surprise, there weren't many takers for that job, and he admitted that his
wife's paranoia seemed commonplace. Worse, the cold feeling in the pit of his
stomach told him that she was right.
It was winter when they came for him. He worked at the
office until late, and the long blue
shadows of the street lamps stretched across the street. He
walked home from the bus station-a five-minute walk, but that day it was cold
enough to make him hasten his step and rub his ears as he hurried home. The
snowdrifts, their delicate blues accented by deeper purple shadows, flanked the
street, and the windows in the apartment buildings glowed with yellow warmth.
There were two men waiting by the entrance and he
would've paid them no mind if it hadn't been for the scattering of cigarette
butts in the defiled dirty snow-they'd been there a while. Then he noticed their
black trench coats and a black car with no plates idling by the curb. His heart
spasmed in his chest and he forgot about the cold. He only had mind enough to
thank the God he didn't believe in for keeping them outside, away from Tanya.
He couldn't bring them in, but he wasn't ready to surrender. He kept walking
past, his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets. His face grew numb from the
stinging cold.
"Hey!” he heard behind him.
He ran, his thin-soled shoes slipping on the long ice
slicks, treacherously hidden under the fresh snow; the pursuit panted behind,
and he couldn't look back. He only hoped to gain another block, to lead them
further away from home, and yet realized that it was an empty gesture-they knew
where he lived. Still, his legs pumped, his feet slid, and his throat burned
from the chilly air he gulped by the mouthful.
A shot rang out in the crisp air, and he ducked and
careened, not slowing down. His spectacles slid off his face and he had
presence of mind enough to catch them and shove them into his pocket-he
couldn't risk trying to put them back on while running.
He rounded the corner, and almost fell but caught his
footing. There were lights and frozen trees, hazy, haloed against the glow of
the streetlamps. He could not see very well without his glasses, and when he
saw the gaping doorway, dark, promising safety, he ran toward it. His arms
outstretched, he was almost in its safe embrace, when more shots tore the air.
He felt a sting in his back and a dull tearing pain in his shoulder blade; he
made a desperate dive for the doorway when it fractured in front of him, and as
he went through he realized that his poor eyesight had fooled him-he had
mistaken the storefront window for the door. The window showered jagged glass
on his face and hands, stinging them like a million bees. Then a cool air blew
into his face, and a tree glowed above, and twelve white jackdaws descended
upon him, cawing.
* * * *
Yakov finished his drink. David looked at him, as if
expecting something.
"She never remarried,” Yakov said. “Grandma, I
mean."
David nodded. “Neither did I.
Still, I wish I knew… About your mother."
"There isn't much to know,” he said. His mother
was ordinary-not a sort of person who lived an exciting life; even her
hardships lacked exoticism. She was born three years before the war, and
remembered it vaguely-the hunger, the fear, the dull torments of ordinary souls
who were never offered a chance for heroics. She was someone one needed to know
to appreciate, and David lacked that. “She's a good person,” he finally said.
“You would've been proud of her. Like grandma was. Her name's
Valentina; she's going to be fifty-three. She works all week, and on
weekends she goes to take care of your and grandmother's grave. She made sure to
bury her in Moscow, next to you."
David looked perplexed. “I have a grave? Why?"
"I don't know,” Yakov said. “I never asked."
David slumped, his head resting on his folded arms. “I
suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Only it is strange. To learn that you have a
grave and a daughter who's fifty. I heard about men finding out that they had
kids they didn't know about-only not fifty years later. I wish I could talk to
her, to tell her…"
"Tell her what?"
"That I'm sorry. I'm sorry it happened this way,
and I'm sorry I survived. I know I wasn't supposed to. If only I had had my
glasses on-I wouldn't have tried to run through that window."
Yakov understood what his grandfather
wanted-for-giveness. “You've done nothing wrong,” he said. “You were fucked
either way."
David shrugged, unconvinced. “I suppose."
Yakov didn't know what else to say. He'd seen this
before, people who survived catastrophes. They could not enjoy life knowing
that others had died-survivor's guilt, they called it. He'd seen it in his grandmother-she
left Moscow, saving her unborn child. Yet, the guilt of abandoning her husband
was never far below the surface. The letter on the government letterhead made
it worse.
Perhaps there was a reason for it, he thought. Those
who ended in this no-man's land underground: perhaps they were allowed to live
for a reason. “You were spared,” he said out loud. “Surely there is a point to
that."
"Perhaps. But if there is, I sure don't know what it is. Nobody
here does, and some have been around for centuries.” David sat up and shook his
head, smiling. “Listen to me babble. Why don't you tell me about
yourself?"
"I was born in Serpuhov,” he said. “We stayed
there until the eighties, and then moved to Moscow. After
grandma died. Now I'm a cop."
David seemed amused. “Indeed. Interesting
choice. Are you in the Party?"
Yakov shook his head vehemently. “No
way. They told me I'd never get promoted, but so be it."
"Married?"
"I was. Didn't
work out.” He tried to think of something to say, but he had trouble
baring his soul to strangers, even if the stranger in question was his own
grandfather, unaged since 1937. “Look, we just got here, and the whole thing is
a bit much."
"I understand,” David said. “You'll get used to
it. Anything I can help you with?"
"Yes,” Yakov said. “See that girl?” He indicated
Galina with a subtle tilt of his head. “Her sister's missing. And a bunch of other people. That crazy guy led us here, and
I was just looking for those who are missing. They turned into birds."
"Ah,” David said. “Birds?
That would be one of the old ones messing around. Berendey is your best bet.
He's usually in the forest, but you can't go there-he has a strict no-people
policy. But stick around-he comes by every now and again to get a drink.
Meanwhile, go to your friends, and I'll ask Sovin to answer whatever questions
he hasn't covered yet."
Yakov obeyed. He felt a little relieved that his
grandfather didn't offer him to stay with him, to talk more; both needed time
to absorb the meeting.
"All right,” Sovin said and looked over them, as
if surveying troops. “All ready? Come with me, and I'll put you up for the
night."
"I'm not tired,” Yakov said.
"You will be soon.” Sovin clapped his shoulder.
“Buck up, son. Tomorrow's a new day, and we'll find your bird-people."
* * * *
When the young people left with Sovin, David worked
the bar until it was time to close, going through the usual movements of
opening the bottles and pouring beer and an occasional glass of mulled wine for
the habitually cold rusalki. The denizens of the underworld noticed his subdued
state, and knew better than to attempt bantering.
His mood cast a pall over the Pub's ambience, and he
wanted to apologize to everyone, but resisted. The guilt was his alone and he
had no right to fish for reassurance with his apologies. He waited for the
place to clear, and put away the glasses for the domovoi to clean. He spread a
thick layer of sawdust on the floor and left a saucerful of milk for the
kikimora and whatever other house spirits breathed shyly behind the dark
paneling of the walls and the wainscoting. He used to be annoyed at the absence
of brownies or other English spirits, but with time he grew to love their
Slavic equivalents, as pointless and skewed as they usually were. “Seriously,”
he muttered. “What sort of culture invents a spirit whose only purpose is to
throw onions and shriek at night? It's just stupid."
A blood-curdling shriek answered him from somewhere
behind the pipes.
"Oh shut up,” he said. “Bloody banshee
wannabe."
The cries sputtered and stopped in an uncertain whine.
David shook his head and unlocked the back door leading to his quarters-a
sparely furnished, cavernous room that retained the stone chill despite the
brightly burning big-bellied woodstove on bent legs. He sat on the narrow bed
with a nickel headboard, his head in his hands, and thought about the death of
his wife.
It didn't matter that he hadn't seen her in over fifty
years; it didn't matter that she was dead; he had said goodbye to the idea of
her years ago. He never stopped loving her, but rather the memory was
sequestered away deep in his heart, surrounded by calcified layers of regret
and guilt, isolating it from the rest of his mental landscape-like a clam, he
surrounded the irritating grain of sand with pearly layers, not to create
beauty but to protect the tender mantle from irritation.
Now, the protection was stripped away, and the image
of her face tore at his heart like a splinter. He reminded himself that she had
grown old, that she raised a daughter and watched her
grandson grow big while she aged, something he didn't think much about-everyone
underground remained like they were when they first got here, until eventually
they faded away, all of them, except the old ones. He tried to imagine how she
would look after the years of war and privation, but the image in his mind's
eye remained the same-a young woman with serious eyes and a stubborn chin, the
woman who tried to keep him alive despite his best efforts, and in the end
denied any knowledge of her success. Then it occurred to him that he hadn't
seen her in so long that he doubted the accuracy of his recollection. For all
he knew, he had constructed the face from his vague dreams and longing. With
the doubt, the image in his mind wavered, fell apart, and disappeared.
He lost her again that night, as he lost her every
night, ever since he had fled underground. Belatedly he felt regret for never
trying to find her or send a word; then again, what good would it do? His mind
went over and over the familiar track, each rut honed by fifty years of the
same old regrets. And yet, tonight he knew for sure-even though he had a
daughter and a grandson, Tanya was dead. Alone in his room, David wept.
6: Sovin
Fyodor couldn't sleep-he thought about his childhood
in Zvenigorod, about long and dusty provincial summers he usually spent riding
his bicycle down local roads. The smell of heated asphalt
and tar became forever associated with those summers,
when the cheap tinny bicycle bell drowned out the singing birds.
The summers when everything but the road and the
bicycle disappeared, and he could ride it downhill, the pedals spinning so fast
he sometimes had to lift his feet off them, to the sun, orange and huge, that
waited for him at the bottom of the slope. In those days, he half believed that
if he rode fast enough, gained enough momentum, he would catch up to the sun
and sizzle and become one with the angry red semicircle that set faster than he
could pedal.
He was pleased to recognize this old belief in his
current adventure-apparently, the ability to ignore reality and to take things
for what they appeared, not what they were, was the key to entering the
underground kingdom. Everyone here, Fyodor learned from Sovin, had been
desperate enough or confused and hurt enough to believe that the doors
appearing on solid objects would open and admit them inside, that the
reflections were the same as their originals. This is why there were so many
madmen here, Fyodor decided. He wasn't sure he should count himself among them.
But certainly not Sovin-that man, as Fyodor learned, was stone cold sober, and
it was really a miracle that he had managed to make it in at all.
Fyodor could not sleep, even though Sovin's house was
comfortable in the way of an old-fashioned wooden village house, with its warm
dark walls and low ceiling, each beam distinct and blackened with soot. He lay
on the bed (a straw mattress covered with a blanket), and thought about their
host, the stories he told while Yakov was yammering away with his youthful
grandfather.
* * * *
Sovin had fought in two world wars, earned three PhDs,
and spoke five languages fluently. He was born in St Petersburg into the family
of a fur merchant, studied philosophy in Germany, and returned to Russia in
1914, to fight. The world war quickly graded into the civil one, and Sovin
chose the red side, surprising even himself. It wasn't any shrewdness in the
face of soberly weighing his circumstances; it wasn't the realization of the
inevitable victory of the proletariat. It was a desire for fairness, for
equality. He tried to like his comrades.
After the war, he went back to the Petrograd
University to get a degree in agricultural science. He traveled with Vavilov,
he collected seeds; Fyodor could not even imagine the sights he had seen and
asked about Tibet and the Himalayas, but Sovin was determined to stay on the
subject of seeds. “You have to understand,” he said. “There's that thing, a
grain of rice or wheat, and it's small. But everything, everything every stalk
of wheat or rice has ever known is packed inside it. It knows where it lives,
it knows whether it's cold or warm; it is perfect in how it suits the place.
And every one of them is the same yet different-Asia, East, West, the Andes,
any given place. How can you not love such a thing?"
Fyodor recognized that the question was rhetorical,
and kept his indifference to grains of anything to himself.
"Anyway,” Sovin continued, “you probably know
what happened after."
"Repressions?” Fyodor said.
"Lysenko,” Galina offered.
Sovin seemed amused by their answers. “You're both
right,” he said. “But before all that, there was the Genofond and Vavilov's
Institute."
Sovin went home to Leningrad, where he worked on
cataloguing and classifying the seeds, studying their genetics, crossbreeding
strains. His philosophy training not forgotten but rather dormant, he focused
all his energy on understanding the seeds and the plants that grew out of them,
on defining and describing their traits. The collection of the seeds, the
Genofond, embraced all of the variety of cultivated crops and held great
promise. Until Vavilov was arrested.
Sovin and others continued their work, apprehensive
about the war and Lysenko's crusade against genetics and other sciences with a
suspicious foreign whiff about them. Sovin confessed that it was the fear of
the labor camps that compelled him to join the army again-he was over the draft
age, but they took him. His division was just outside Leningrad when the siege
started.
Sovin was tormented by the visions of starving people
and the precious grains from all over the world, and their close proximity
worried him. He felt deficient when he prayed at night that the Genofond
survive. “I didn't want anyone to die, understand,” he said. “It was just-I
wanted the grains to survive too. To the people, it was just bread. But it was
the entirety of human history in there. Even as we moved East and then back
West, I kept thinking about it. Some things are just too important."
"It mostly survived,” Galina said.
Sovin nodded. “Mostly. But not the people."
He wasn't inside the city under siege, but he had
nightmares about frozen streets littered with corpses, snowdrifts building over
their hollow faces. He started thinking about whether the present was worth
sacrificing for the history.
When the war was over, he could not go back to
Leningrad. Instead, he joined the faculty of
Moscow State
University, teaching introductory biology and plant science; he experimented
with plant genetics in secret-Lysenko had already labeled it the bourgeois
pseudo-science, and Sovin had to mind his own bourgeois origins. Nonetheless,
in 1948 he was sent to a labor camp in Kolyma.
When Fyodor was young, he met some of the men who went
through the labor camps-they were recognizable, those craggy old men with
gunpowder prison tattoos, foul language, and incessant smoking. No matter how
mild-mannered and educated a person had been when they first went in, by the time they emerged they had been transformed by
the harsh living and hard labor, by the life stripped to the essentials of
survival, its most basic formula: if you work, you eat. The fact that they
emerged alive meant that they had worked hard enough not to starve, and Fyodor
tried to imagine how he would do in such circumstances. The unavoidable
conclusion was that he would perish, and he respected those who were better at
living than he. Maybe even envied them a little.
Sovin was released in 1958, after ten years of hard
labor, and returned to Moscow. His reputation as a geneticist prevented him
from working in his former position, and he realized then that the world as it
existed did not have a place for him and, the letter of rehabilitation
notwithstanding, he felt hollow and wrong, somehow. He took a job as a night
guard in some vast and empty warehouse.
He did not concern himself with what it was supposed
to be warehousing, and paid no mind to the miles of razor wire surrounding the
perimeter of the empty lot in the middle of which the warehouse sat like a
monstrous toad. It felt familiar, especially in winter when the winds howled
and the flat lot froze and grew humped with snowdrifts, save for a single path
that led from the locked gates to the warehouse and a small cabin, heated with
a woodstove and illuminated by a naked bulb hanging from the ceiling like the
lure of an anglerfish-his home.
He spent his days sleeping and reading-he became
interested in physics and electrical engineering-and his nights pacing under
the echoey corrugated roof of the huge warehouse, empty save for the piles of
refuse in the corners. There were rats and he left them be, wondering how they
survived in the empty frozen place.
The rats grew bold and invaded his cabin; when he woke
up in winter, after the early sunset, he heard their scrabbling and the howling
of dogs somewhere outside, and thought that he still was in the camp, and had
to wait for his heart to stop thumping against his fragile ribcage.
The rats ran free, and he shared his modest food
supply willingly. He knew from his time in Siberia that feeding them prevented
theft and wreckage of flour bags and other delicate groceries, even though the
other prisoners and the guards never believed him; it was their loss, Sovin
thought. He was the only one whose stuff the rats left alone.
In his new home it was the same, and the rats behaved.
He gave them names, and they learned to come when he whistled gently; they took
stale bread from his hands. The rats were cunning and mistrustful, and he felt
somewhat proud of having won their benevolence. They watched him from the
corners, silent, whiskers a-twitch, as he read or soldered. He put together
radios and other small appliances, but never used them.
He was rather isolated in his warehouse and his cabin,
and only came into contact with the outside world when he went to pick up
groceries-he had developed ascetic tastes, and only bought unrefined flour
which he mixed with water and fried into heavy flat pancakes, an occasional
carton of milk, rice, buckwheat and canned pork. At the store, he picked up on
what was happening to the world-what they called “Khrushchev's thaw” was in
full swing, and young people talked about changing times and the unprecedented
freedoms of the sixties. Sovin did not believe that; he had learned that the
world
was not friendly, and any freedom was just an illusion.
He heard about the dissidents who moved west, but he knew that their new lives
and freedoms were illusory too. He envisioned the world as a giant machine,
bloodied fragments of bones stuck in its monstrous wheels, and the only periods
of happiness or perceived freedom were just a pause while the cogs swung
around, nearing the next bone-crunching turn. He knew better than to be lulled
by the temporary silence and to stick his head out.
He bought what he needed and headed back, never
talking to anyone. He brought day-old bread for the rats. They waited for him,
their eyes twinkling in the shadows.
He never listened to the radios he built, but the rats
seemed to enjoy the static and the voices and somber music that occasionally
broke through it, and he placed small radio sets along the walls of the
warehouse and the corners of his room. He supposed this was why the rats made
him a gift.
They labored in secret, and he only found out when
they decided to reveal that the back wall of the warehouse had been gnawed
through-they pushed away the sheet of corrugated metal, and he saw a hole with
ragged edges and distant wan stars shining in a black expanse of frozen sky. He
stood a while, looking at the snowy plain, listening to the distant dogs and
occasional laughter the wind brought from somewhere far away, from the world he
knew about but wasn't a part of. The rats gathered together and nudged him
along.
He took one step and realized that the hole, clearly
leading outside, did not take him onto his empty lot-instead, he found a dry
path under his feet, slightly powdered with dry crumbling leaves, and a
distinct smell of autumn and smoke. The rats gathered behind him, chittering
excitedly, and he sighed. We can run away together, he told the rats. No one
will miss us, we're the unloved children of the world.
We are the corners which time sweeping by never touches, and leaves us clogged
with our dust and useless memories. Let's run away.
The rats indicated that this was the idea, their idea
from the beginning. Uncertain of what lay ahead, he stepped back into the
jagged hole and packed a bag with a thermos of strong sweet tea and enough food
to feed himself and the rat army. And then they left, he leading the way, the
rats close behind. He did not turn around but with his back he felt the rats
following him, the weak phosphorescent spots of their eyes bobbing on the wave
of brown fur and sharp claws, their long yellow teeth bared
in giddy smiles.
* * * *
Fyodor dozed a bit and when he woke up long before
dawn he discovered a large rat sitting on his chest, watching his face with an
intent but inscrutable expression.
"Hello,” Fyodor said. He guessed the rodent for
one of Sovin's rats, the ones who showed him the way underground, and he
smiled. “You're still watching over him, huh?"
The rat twitched its nose and bared long dangerous
incisors.
"It's all right,” Fyodor said. “We are
friends."
The rat sniffed and twitched and skittered up to his
neck on its pink nervous feet. It sat up, its paws, disconcertingly similar to
human hands, reaching up to Fyodor's neck.
He froze, scared now, but reluctant to do anything
that would upset Sovin or his pets.
The rat grabbed hold of the chain around his neck and
pulled it out from under his T-shirt. The faceless coin dangled in its paws,
catching light from the glowtrees outside. The rat studied the coin while
Fyodor held his breath; finally, the rat was satisfied. It jumped off his
chest, hopped across the floor, and disappeared through a cleft in the wall.
Fyodor breathed; this incident disturbed him even more
than jumping through the windows of a moving train and finding himself in an
underground world. Perhaps Galina was right, he thought; perhaps they did die
in the fall, and this was the afterlife. He fingered the coin on his chest,
warm from his body heat. Perhaps this coin was meant to weigh down his eyelids;
perhaps the rat was just assessing his ability to pay for the passage.
His train of thought was interrupted by a quiet
scrabbling at the door.
"Who's there?” he whispered.
"It's me.” The door opened and Galina looked in.
“I couldn't sleep."
"Rats?” Fyodor asked.
"No, haven't seen any.” She tiptoed inside and
closed the door behind her. “Yakov's sleeping like a log."
"Figures,” Fyodor said.
Galina sat on the floor by his makeshift bed. “Did you
hear what David said? About Berendey?"
Fyodor nodded. “Berendey's Forest.
I remember; it was a movie or something."
"I saw it too, when I was a kid. How can it be
real?"
"It probably isn't,” Fyodor said. “Or at least different. Do you think anything here's
real?"
"Feels real,” she said. “What else do we have to
go by?"
Fyodor had to agree with that assessment-once one
started doubting one's senses, the subsequent reasoning led straight to a brain
in a jar. “Nothing,” he said. “It is real. Sovin certainly is."
Galina laughed, covering her mouth with her hand to
keep it down. “Yeah. I couldn't have dreamt him up.”
She grew serious. “Can I ask you something?"
"Sure,” Fyodor said, and propped himself up on
his elbow.
"How did you know to jump through
that reflection? I mean, how did you know it would work?"
"I didn't,” he said. “It was a literal leap of faith."
She eyed him cautiously. “But you dragged us
along."
"I had to. If I were by myself, I would've
doubted. When I had two lives on my conscience, I had to believe in it.
Otherwise…"
Galina shook her head, as if chasing away doubt or
harsh words. “It worked, so that's all that matters. Do you think Berendey will
show up tomorrow, or are we just going to hang out in the pub again?"
He shrugged. “Don't know. But if you ask me, I don't
mind the pub that much. Seems like a lot of interesting people."
"Yes.” Galina sighed.
"I know that you want to find your sister,”
Fyodor said. But sometimes you just have to wait."
She nodded. “Let's hope I won't have to wait too long.
Thanks for talking. I'll let you rest now.” She stood and left as silently as
she had appeared.
Fyodor lay awake. He felt as if he was the only one
who was a tourist here, with no particular agenda or heartbreak, and no tragedy
to run from. He felt dirty and thought of the loud foreigners that crowded New
Arbat, haggling over mass-produced matryoshkas repulsive in their cheery
colorfulness and floridly red cheeks. They bought the dolls and thought that
they were somehow authentic, and that by carrying the little wooden monstrosities home they better comprehended the depressed
souls of the drunken natives.
Fyodor wondered if the suffering he had found
underground was the same, slightly obscene, mass-manufactured by the cruel
system, with as much thought as a matryoshka artisan cooperative that slathered
paint and varnish on the light pear-shaped birch husks; perhaps his curiosity
had the same sordid taint to it, the illusion of comprehension. His ignorance
of real life was now patched up by the images of Sovin's unshaven
hollow-cheeked face, dark like a Byzantine icon; still it remained ignorance
but armored now with the arrogance of delusion.
He kept an eye out for the rats but they didn't
manifest again. He was still wide awake when the morning came-the light changed
imperceptibly underground, with the glowtrees flaring up brightly, and the
shimmer of golden dust that remained suspended in the musty air, as if millions
of butterflies had shed the scales of their wings in midair.
Sovin knocked on the door and called for Fyodor to get
up and get some breakfast. Fyodor obeyed, and brushed his jeans to get rid of
the hay that covered them. Galina and Yakov already waited at the table, with
an old-fashioned copper samovar lording over the rough kitchen table, chipped
mugs, and a sugar dish. Sovin hunched over the stove, making pancakes.
"Sorry,” Sovin said. “Didn't
expect visitors, so I don't have any cheese or meat."
They reassured him that it was quite all right and
thanked him for his hospitality.
"Anyway,” Sovin said. “Stay as long as you need
to. Eventually, we'll fix you up with houses of your own; they're pretty
low-tech, but land is not an issue here."
Fyodor traded looks with Yakov. “I'm not
going to stay here,” he said. “Are you?"
Yakov and Galina shook their heads.
"Huh,” Sovin said. “I don't really know about
anyone who left."
"You don't think it is possible?” Yakov said.
The breeze outside caught a hold of white curtains on
the window and tossed them about. Sovin watched their frantic dance. “I don't
know,” he said. “I never asked. Although if you consider why this place was
made, you'll doubt leaving here is easy."
"Could you explain that?” Fyodor asked. “You told
us yesterday about who lives here but not why."
Sovin slammed a clay plate heaping with misshapen
flap-jacks onto the table, and sat down. “Eat,” he said. “Have some tea, and
I'll tell you all about it."
It started as the place for the pagan things to go,
Sovin said. Back in 980, when all of Russia was christened with fire and sword;
there was no Moscow then, and the forested, hilly spot was perfect for spirits
and their human allies to seek refuge. When Moscow was built, the things that
inhabited the forests and the swamps, the things that hooted in the night and
laughed in the haylofts were buried under the foundations of the first
buildings-pagan blood was spilled under every stone, and a spirit was interred
under every foundation. Or so they said, the old things, who hollowed out the
ground in which they were buried.
"Did anyone know about them?” Fyodor asked.
"Of course,” Sovin answered. “This is why they
sealed the underground off, and it's not as easy to find an entrance as it once
was. As for going back-I suspect that those who created the barrier took care
of it. Don't know if it applies to people, but some of the old residents are
itching to get out, only they can't, at least not for long. So they have to
meddle indirectly."
As he talked, Sovin picked up a flapjack and tossed it
on the floor. Immediately, a pack of several large, glossy rats appeared as if
from thin air, quickly followed by a tiny bearded man, dressed in traditional
Russian costume, of the sort one expected to see on the male lead of a touring
troupe of folk dancers; in other words, a fake.
"Cute,” Galina said. “You actually have a
domovoi."
Sovin nodded. “Everyone does; they appear the moment
you build a house. Can't keep them away, but they do the dishes and dust
occasionally."
They watched the little man and the rats engage in a
brief standoff; the rats decided that the domovoi posed no danger and ate the
flapjack, tearing off chunks with their front paws. The little man looked
forlorn until Galina took pity and tossed him one of her own flapjacks. The
domovoi grabbed the treat and ran toward the wainscoting, pursued by one of the
larger rats.
"Yeah,” Sovin said thoughtfully. “So we
live."
* * * *
At the pub, there was no news of Berendey. Galina grew
angstier by the minute, and soon rose and said that she was going to look
around, ask the natives about the birds and what they knew about the world
above. “You can't just isolate things from each other,” she said. “I'm sure
there are more influences and interactions than Sovin tells us."
"Suit yourself,” said
Fyodor, and settled deeper into his chair. “The cop will probably want to
reconnect with his long-lost grandfather, and I'm going to people-watch. And
god-watch."
"Have fun,” she said and left; the door slammed
behind her with uncalled-for force.
"Women,” Fyodor muttered into his glass. Like she
expected him to drop everything and go traipsing through the narrow streets and
vast no man's lands of the underground. He would much rather choose a good
vantage point and wait for the world to come by. Eventually-if one stayed put
long enough and picked the right spot-he would see everything he needed to see;
he remembered reading it in a book.
The Pub was rather empty at this early hour, but he
spotted a tall man, covered in blue mottled skin and naked save for a few
strips of fish scales running along his arms and spine. He guessed him for a
vodyanoy, a water spirit; his suspicion was confirmed when he noticed that the
blue stranger continuously dripped water. It soaked into the sawdust on the
floor, and a dark saturated spot spread like an especially slow ripple from a
dropped stone. Then there was a cold wind from the door, and Fyodor watched,
delighted and entranced, as the dark water froze into fine crystals, and a
stout man in a red coat walked up to the bar.
"Gimme a shot,” he demanded from a small domovoi
who operated the home-whittled beer taps and opened the bottles. “It is
freezing."
Now it was, and Fyodor shivered in his windbreaker and
T-shirt. “You're Father Frost,” he called to the stranger. “Right?"
The old man turned around and scowled. “Oh, look at
that, another bright young thing. ‘Father Frost, will you bring me a New Year
present next time?’ Fuck you, young man. I'm no Santa Claus, and don't you push
your foul Western influences on me."
"I just wanted to buy you a drink,” Fyodor said.
Father Frost grinned. “Ah, you've got your head on
straight. All right, sonny.” He stomped his boots, shaking off imaginary snow,
and sat at Fyodor's table.
The domovoi brought over two shots of moonshine, the
foul liquid with a strong undertaste of gasoline.
"That's the stuff,” Father Frost said. “Warms you
right to your bones, doesn't it?"
Fyodor nodded; he indeed felt warm. “You won't freeze
me, will you?"
"Not as long as you keep buying me booze.” Father
Frost motioned to the domovoi bartender. “Keep them coming."
Fyodor searched his pockets, and came up with a roll
of several rubles.
Father Frost looked at them skeptically. “Paper money
is no money at all,” he said. “What about your coin?"
Fyodor found it disconcerting that
everyone was suddenly interested in his talisman. “It's against the evil eye,”
he said. “I need it."
Father Frost laughed with such deafening glee that the
beams in the ceiling shook, spooking several barn owls who
were apparently nesting there. “That's a nerazmennaya moneta,”
he said once he stopped laughing. “Changeless coin."
Fyodor smiled. “Really?"
"Come on, I'll show you,” Father Frost said.
“Clueless folk on the surface, gods forgive me. Everything needs to be taught
and if it weren't for me you'd be all speaking French now. Assholes.”
He beckoned the domovoi, and urged Fyodor to take off his coin. When Fyodor
gave it to the domovoi, the coin underwent a metallic mitosis, one remaining
attached to the chain, while the other was clenched in the domovoi's tiny and
slightly dirty fist.
"Cool,” Fyodor said. “Does it work like that on
the surface?"
"Sure does,” Father Frost said. “Only the coin is
useless. That's irony, isn't it?"
"Not really,” Fyodor said. “What was that about
French?"
Father Frost heaved an exasperated sigh. “Have you
dum-dums ever noticed that the moment there's a foreign invasion, you get a
record cold winter? Who do you think is doing that, huh?"
"You?” Fyodor answered, and threw back another shot of the
foul liquid. “Why?"
"Because I care,” Father Frost said, drunken
sincerity coloring his deep voice. “I care about you surface motherfuckers,
unlike your stupid wimpy god."
"We were atheists for a while there,” Fyodor
said. “Materialists, even."
"So am I,” Father Frost said. “A materialist, I
mean. Berendey is too, but the gods are all solipsists. Especially the one
you've picked; those who are here are all right, even though they're mostly big
fish in a small pond, demigods and such. And you, you… you stupid surfacers,
all of you either depressed or melancholy.” He cast a wild gaze around, finally
focusing on the bar. “Hey, what did I just say? Keep
‘em coming."
Fyodor paid with the changeless coin again, and the
domovoi dutifully took the spawned copper, as if he saw nothing at all unusual
or wrong with being paid with the same coin again.
"As I said,” Father Frost continued. “All you
know how to do is to wreck what the others have built and mope around as if you
were the ones wronged.” Father Frost spat, and the gob of saliva froze in the
air and shattered as it hit the floor.
"Not all of us,” Fyodor said. “So, why do you help us if we're so worthless?"
"It's not about you. It's about the land. It is
mine, and I am keeping it that way. No matter what you do and how much of it
you sell, bit by bit, until you have nothing left. And then, there would be no
one left but us, those who were here before you, holding on to it like a
handful of sand in the river, feeling it wash away grain by grain, but never
letting go. We hold it together, stupid, so don't you ask me why."
Fyodor tossed back another shot, and waited for the
familiar alcohol fog to drown out his sense of loathing of the world. Father
Frost was right-the surface world had failed its denizens. And the
underground world was a mystery, hidden from the majority,
affecting things in an oblique and uncertain way. Their saviors hid
underground, exiled and forgotten. It did not surprise Fyodor-Moscow was not
kind to those who cared about it.
7: The Decembrist's Wife
Galina left the pub, her feet leading her restlessly
away. She just could not bear the thought of wasting another day, and instead
decided to find by herself either Berendey or any of the old ones Sovin and
David mentioned. How large could this place be?
It turned out to be quite large. She got lost in the
labyrinth of convoluted streets-they were clearly not planned, and wound back
and forth, often doubling on themselves and petering out in unexpected dead
ends. These streets had been built with little forethought as the town grew,
and she quickly lost any idea of where she was. There were people in the
streets, but she didn't feel quite ready to ask for directions.
She looked for an opening between houses that would
lead her to a wooded area; her feet were starting to hurt by the time she found
a road that didn't turn around abruptly, but instead led her out of the
crisscrossing streets, straight and true. The houses soon disappeared, and the
path grew paler, as if from disuse, and often got lost in the tall pallid grass
and the uncertain flickering of the glowtrees.
The air smelled of mud and river, and the path soon
led her to a swamp. Black trunks of fallen trees rose from dark pools of water
like dead fingers, and the hummocks seemed too uncertain to step on. She turned
around to find another way.
Someone was there-a tall woman in a long shirt of
unbleached linen stood on the path. Her face was hidden by long ragged locks,
darkened with water.
"Hello,” Galina said. “You're a rusalka, aren't
you?"
The woman did not answer, just bobbed her head-the
motion was so quick and slight that Galina wasn't sure if it was a twitch or a
sign of agreement.
"Can you tell me how to find Berendey?” she
asked. She tried really hard not to think that the woman in front of her was a
ghost, a soul of a drowned girl.
Another quick movement, this time in
the negative.
"Do you know someone who will?” She thought of
the mythical beings one might find in a forest. “A leshy,
perhaps?"
The girl nodded again, and beckoned Galina to follow
her.
She sighed. These creatures, as far as she remembered,
were not to be trusted; they stole children and tickled men to death. To her
relief, she could not remember any stories of rusalki attacking or harming
women. Leshys, however, were indiscriminate, happily confusing and turning
around any traveler. Galina was starting to regret her request, when the
rusalka took a side path, and led her through a grove of weeping trees-tears
rolled down their bark in a constant stream-and a small calm lake with water as
black as pitch.
"Where are we?” Galina asked.
The rusalka pointed at the small
pavilion rising at the far end of the lake, and Galina sighed. The pavilion was
covered with ornate woodcuts and tracery of vines, and did not look like a dark
forest where one would expect to find a nature deity who could answer questions
about people turning into birds. She was about to ask the rusalka about who
lived there, but the woman gave her an impatient shove and dove into the dark
waters that closed over her without a ripple or sound.
Galina approached the pavilion, her feet sinking into
the rich loose soil of the path. The irises and the cattails fringing the lake
nodded at her, and she was surprised to see that their stems and leaves were
not completely white but pale green.
The latticed walls of the pavilion allowed her a
glimpse inside, and she saw a woman-a young woman in a black evening
dress-reclining on a low wicker chaise, reading a book and smoking a long
cigarette, the mother-of-pearl cigarette holder wedged between her white teeth.
The woman looked up and smiled at Galina. “Come on
in,” she said. “I'm Countess Vygotskaya. New here?"
Galina found the entrance-just a simple arch-and sat
on the proffered stool.
The woman reached for the ashtray and stubbed out her
cigarette, still exhaling long twin snakes of smoke through her narrow
nostrils, exquisite like the rest of her. The black strap of her dress slid off
her too-white shoulder, and her black curls seemed too black, almost blue.
Galina felt intimidated by this woman-not just the aristocratic roots or her
beauty, but the way she carried herself. The air around her grew cold and
clear, studded with tiny ice crystals, and Galina's breath caught, as if in the
middle of a January night. “You've heard about me, of course,” the woman said.
"No,” Galina admitted in a quiet guilty voice.
“But I'm sure that-"
"Of course you have,” the woman said. “The Decembrists’ wives. I was one of them."
Galina nodded. “I hadn't realized."
"Neither had I,” the woman said mysteriously. And
added, noting Galina's perplexed look, “How difficult it is to be an
icon."
Galina thought of the story. The Decembrists’ Revolt
left her cold in high school, when they covered that part of Russian history;
the Byronic appeal and the misguided liberalism of their useless gesture never
quite did it for her. But now she supposed she had a reluctant admiration for
the young officers who rode into the Senate Square of St Petersburg to
challenge Czar Nicholas and the absolute monarchy, and were greeted by cannon
fire. On the back of her mind she always wondered what happened to the soldiers
under their command-dead, she supposed, cannon fodder. Only the officers were
important enough to secure a place in the history books. They were exiled to
Siberia except the five executed outright. Galina dimly remembered something
about ropes that gave and broke, and the unprecedented second hanging.
And this is where their wives came in-she imagined
them often, those beautiful rich ladies who abandoned everything to follow
their husbands into the frozen woods and summers ringing with mosquitoes, to
the place away from civilization and any semblance of everything they knew.
It occurred to her only later in life that the women
were held up as an example of selfless devotion and obedience-at first, she could not realize why they went. She had been too
young for the notions of love and tragedy inextricably linked to it then. Now
she was too skeptical of both. In that she differed from her classmates who
usually listened to the stories of the revolt and the Decembrists’
wives with an expression of almost religious fervor.
"Did you ever regret going to Siberia?” Galina
asked.
The woman lit a new cigarette and breathed a slow
bitter laugh. “Me? I never went. That is, I went to Moscow. The shame was too
much.” The gaze of her large dark blue eyes lingered on Galina's face. “But you
wouldn't know shame, would you?"
"I do,” Galina started. “I-"
"Guilt is not the same thing,” the Decembrist's
Wife interrupted her again. “Shame is something that is done to you from the
outside."
"Why didn't you go then?"
The woman shrugged her shoulder. Voluptuous, Galina
thought, that's the word they used to describe women like her. “Because they
expected me to, I suppose. Because I was just an appendage.
Because it didn't matter what I wanted. The men always
ask me, ‘Didn't you love your husband?’ Women never do-fancy that."
Her languid eyes fixed on Galina for a moment before
looking away, at the burning tip of her cigarette. “What do you think?"
"It's not about love,” Galina tried to explain
and stopped, short of words.
"Those who went abandoned everything,” the woman
said. “Those who stayed abandoned their husbands. I had abandoned both. A
friend of mine went, and she could never write to her family. She left her
children behind, and her family loathed her for it. Mine loathed me because I
didn't."
* * * *
Her name was Elena, and she ran away from her home in
St Petersburg suddenly filled with empty echoes after her husband was put in
stocks and shipped somewhere unimaginable. She realized that she could not win.
No matter what she did she would be either a bad daughter to her father, the
widowed Count Klyazmensky, or a bad wife to her husband Dmitri. The truth was,
she was tired of both men in her life, and she packed two modest trunks with
clothes and knick-knacks she couldn't quite dispose of yet, handed the keys to
her house on the Neva embankment to her housekeeper, and told her coachman to
take her to Moscow. Everyone assumed that she was going shopping, and out of
the corner of her eye she saw people-even servants!-shaking their heads with
disapproval.
In truth, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do in
Moscow. She could visit some remote relatives, but her heart wasn't in it. She
could take rooms and cloister herself from the world. Instead, she wandered
down to the Moscow River embankment and watched the frozen river, green with
crusted ice, with black cracks showing the sluggish black water underneath. She
shivered in her furs and wondered if the water was as cold as the air that
clouded her breath as soon as it left her lips. She stayed there until the
stars came out.
The night had a different color here-farther south,
the blue of the sky had grown deeper, more saturated, and the stars had become
large and yellow, not the white pinpricks she remembered from St Petersburg.
She missed the aurora borealis.
A movement on the ice caught her attention-she
squinted at the dark shapes, worried that some clueless peasant children had
wandered onto the ice, thick but liable to split open every time a smallest
child set a lightest foot on it. She was about to call out, to tell them to get
back, when her breath stopped fogging the air; she forgot to breathe. The shapes
crawled out from under the embankment on which she stood, covered in mud and
raw sewage, and they were not children at all but grown women. Pale filthy women, dressed in nothing but thin linen shirts.
They crawled on all fours like animals, until they reached
the first patch of open black water. They slid into it, one by one, noiseless
as seals. Before Elena could break her stupor or call for help, they
re-emerged, sleek and clean, the linen clinging to their young bodies, their
wet hair plastered to their faces and necks. As she watched, they gathered on
the ice where it seemed more solid and held hands, forming a circle like
peasant girls did at weddings. And they started dancing-moving around in a
circle, faster and faster, until Elena felt dizzy. And then their bare feet
left the ice, and the women danced in the air, water on their shirts and faces
frozen. They looked like ice sculptures come magically to life.
Elena leaned over the embankment, her heart racing. In
the back of her mind she knew who these women were-rusalki, spirits of drowned
girls, but she wanted nothing more than to join them. There was nobody around,
and she climbed over the parapet, awkward in her heavy skirts and coat, but
eager. She could not remember the last time she had such a longing to join
people.
She stepped onto the ice; the women seemed oblivious
to her approach. She skirted far around the black dizzying splotches of open
water. The ice creaked under her shoes. She was close to them now. Just as if
someone had given a signal, all of the faces turned toward her, and she heard a
thundering, roaring noise as the ice cracked under her feet, opening a black
rift across the river. Her feet slid from under her, and the black water
reached up, seizing her chest in its icy embrace. It flooded her mouth opened
in a scream, washed over her eyes, twined her hair around her neck. She felt
hands on her shoulders and arms, and grabbed at them. But instead of pulling
her to safety, the women laughed and pushed her down, down, deep down into the
black water where even the wan starlight could not reach.
Her lungs burned and her chest heaved,
rebelling against the dead heavy embrace of the ice-cold water. She swallowed
and breathed water, feeling it churn in her stomach, waiting for the inevitable
darkness. She felt hands dragging her along, under ice, where the starlight did
not reach and where she could not hope to reach the surface.
Her skin was so numb from the cold that it took her a
while to notice a change in temperature-the water had turned balmy, and the
glow on the surface signaled escape. She lunged toward it and did not believe
her senses when her head emerged into musty stale air and her lungs convulsed,
expelling the ice-cold water of Moscow River into the unknown warm lake. The
girls that dragged her there surfaced too, laughing and lisping gentle
nonsense. She didn't know where she was, but she knew that her former concerns
had fallen away, like crust from the eyes of a cured blind man.
* * * *
"It's all the same with everyone here, isn't it?”
Galina said. “You wanted so badly to escape."
"And we didn't fit in anywhere else,” Elena said.
Galina nodded. “You know, I always hoped that there
was a place for me, a promised land-and I could never find it, until someone I
love disappeared."
"You know,” Elena said and took a long drag on
her cigarette, “people are notoriously bad at discerning what it is they really want. Besides, this is really no promised
land-funny you would think that once you stick all the misfits into one place,
it would somehow magically become a paradise."
"It seems like one,” Galina said.
Loud splashing and cries turned her attention to the
lake, and even Elena stood up and looked over, squinting. The rusalki, several
of them at once, wept and cried, and shied away from something in their midst.
"What are they doing?” Galina said.
"No idea.” Elena carefully picked up the hem of
her dress, exposing a pair of small but sturdy combat boots. “Let's go
see."
The rusalki left the water, and stood on the shore,
dripping wet, fear in their eyes that showed no
whites. Elena moved among them as if she were at a party, working her way
toward the plates with canapés, and Galina followed in her wake. On the bank,
they both stopped, looking.
Galina could not quite understand it at first-dark
fabric flapped in the water, concealing the outline of its contents, until she
saw a hand. And like in a brainteaser where one was supposed to find a hidden
figure, everything fell into place-there were two hands and a leg, and a pale
face with wide open eyes. She was about to call to the man bobbing in the waves
when she realized that his hands were lashed together with blue electrical
tape, and that the deep blue shadow around his eye was a bruise, spreading
slowly over the left half of his face. A dark smear at the corner of his mouth
was undoubtedly blood, but at this point Galina did not need any confirmation
of the man's dead state. “Who is it?” she asked Elena, unable to look away from
the corpse that neared the bank on which they stood, certain as death. “Why is
he here?"
"I don't know.” Elena bent down to tear out a
long and stout cattail stem, and reached out, pulling the body closer. “Never seen him before. And his clothes-do they look
familiar?"
Galina looked over the sodden leather jacket and track
pants, at the buzz cut. “He's a thug,” she said. “What they call a racketeer.
There're plenty of them on the surface now."
"I see.” Elena grabbed the lapels of the dead
man's jacket, and heaved the body ashore. “Never seen a
corpse making it here.” She turned to the rusalki, still huddling in a
disturbed clump, like deer. “Did you drag him here?"
They all shook their heads in unison and cried,
wringing their hands-it almost looked like ritual mourning, Galina thought.
"Now, this is really strange,” Elena said,
looking over the man at her feet thoughtfully. “What, the surfacers don't think
they're good enough for us and dump their garbage here?"
"They don't even know about this place,” Galina
reminded her.
Elena sighed. “I know. I just don't
understand."
"There have been strange things happening on the
surface too.” Galina told her about the birds and her sister.
"This is strange,” Elena agreed. “There's magic
on the surface and corpses down here-it shouldn't happen. I think someone's
breaching the barrier. We better talk to one of the old ones."
"I was looking for Berendey when the rusalka led
me here,” Galina said. “Do you know where we could find him?"
Elena snorted. “Berendey? To
be sure, he makes things grow; he even steals sunlight from the surface for my
plants-see how green they are? But he wouldn't do something like that; he
couldn't if he wanted to. Nor Father Frost, no any of the others-they have a
link to the surface, but it is subtle. No, we need someone who actually knows
what this is all about."
"And who would that be?"
"The Celestial Cow Zemun,” Elena said seriously.
“Don't even think of laughing."
Galina didn't feel like laughing, with a dead body
almost touching her sneakers. “Can we talk to my friends first? One of them is
a cop, and maybe he would know something about this body."
"What is there to know? He's dead.” Elena prodded
the corpse with the toe of her boot. “But suit yourself. Go get your cop and
come back here as soon as you can."
* * * *
Galina found Yakov in the back room of the Pub. She
paused on the threshold, breathing in its sweet smell of pipe tobacco and fresh
sawdust. Yakov and David talked in quiet voices, the silences often stretching
between them like clouds of smoke.
Galina hated to interfere with their conversation-she
could not make out the words, but the obvious comfort between them clung with
the warm air of familiarity, and she sighed to think that she wasn't a part of
anything like that. She cleared her throat. “Yakov, there's something I want
you to see."
He startled with a guilty look on his face. “I'm
sorry,” he told David. “I guess I better go-we did come here for a
reason."
"It's quite all right,” David said, and smiled at
Galina. “Did you find Berendey?"
"No,” Galina said. “Just a
corpse."
Elena waited for them by the lake. On the way, Galina
explained the situation to Yakov, and he kneeled by the body, examining it. It
struck her that this policeman who always seemed so unsure and so defeated
actually knew what he was doing-he examined the cuts and bruises on the face
and wrists of the body, and turned out the pockets of the leather jacket.
The passport was sodden and unreadable, but there was
also an address book and a wallet with a laminated library card. Yakov grunted
and placed his hands behind the corpse's ears. The muscles on his arms tensed,
and Galina stepped back instinctively-Yakov's usually placid demeanor had
prevented any thought that he was capable of violence. Now, as she watched him
wrench the corpse's lower jaw, she grew worried. “What are you doing?” she
asked.
"Trying to get his mouth open.” Yakov pointed at the dry trace of blood staining the
corner of the dead man's lips and smearing his chin. “He was tortured, I think,
and I'm looking for bite marks on his tongue and cheeks, and maybe some broken
teeth. Those usually occur with torture."
Galina looked away as the face under Yakov's hands
crunched and collapsed. She stared at the calm black water, at the rusalki who
still minced at the edge of the lake, at the rustling cattails. Anywhere but
where Yakov was doing something to a dead man, something wrong. Galina
understood the necessity of such procedures in the surface world, but here it
felt almost sacrilegious. Then again, she thought, this was what people did. No
matter how remote and magical a place was, there would always be corpses and
brutish people with ropy arms messing it all up. No matter how beautiful the
view from a rooftop was, there would always be empty bottles and squashed
cigarette filters, dirty rags and smells of sweat.
"It's all right,” Elena whispered to her. “He's
almost done."
"It's not all right,” Galina said. “You know how
they say the grass is always greener on the other side? It is greener, because
you're not there. And if you go you'll trample it and leave dirty footprints
and probably spill something poisonous."
Elena smiled. “I don't think that's how they mean
it."
"I know. Only they're wrong."
She tried not to listen to the awful creaking and
slurping sounds, the wet swish of fabric, the soft give of something organic
and formerly human. And then a soft tinkling that inexplicably reminded her of
the New Year tree ornaments and the long silvery strings of tinsel.
"What on earth is this?” Yakov said behind her.
Elena kneeled next to him. “I have no
idea.” Her voice held a quiet awe, and Galina turned.
The two of them looked at the dead man's face, his
mouth open and his lower jaw jutting out at an unnatural angle. They stared at
something in his mouth, and Galina looked, too.
A small object, the size of a sparrow's egg, bright
metallic blue, lay under the swollen purple tongue as if that were a monstrous
nest. Yakov reached out and touched it, and the blue sphere tinkled and sang.
Galina drew a sharp breath through her clenched teeth, trying to ignore the
ruined body around the shining blue gem.
Elena nudged Yakov aside, and plucked the object from
its gruesome resting place. It rolled on her palm, still singing, sending icy
sparks into the air that suddenly felt fresher, cooler. “I don't know what it
is,” Elena said, “but it certainly did not belong on the surface, just as this
corpse does not belong here."
"What do you mean?” Yakov asked. He seemed to
have noticed Elena for the first time and stared at her, wide-eyed, as if she
was a greater miracle than the blue gem.
"Underground used to be more isolated than it is
now,” Elena said. “And I don't like that."
"Why not?” Yakov said. “Wouldn't it be great if people on the
surface learned about this place, if they could visit here?"
"No,” Galina said. “It wouldn't be great at all.
It will become just like the surface if that happens."
Elena rolled her eyes. “Look at you two. You just got
here and you already presume to decide for us. Now, can we go see Zemun?"
"Who's Zemun?” Yakov whispered in Galina's ear.
She moved away. “The Celestial Cow,” she said. “Don't
ask. That's all I know."
"I like cows,” Yakov said. “But what's a
celestial cow doing underground?"
"Like all of us, she's in exile,” Elena said. She
led them around the lake and through another labyrinth of twisty wooden
streets. Galina surmised that there were no true boundaries to the city-it
spread in rivulets between long stretches of woods and meadows and pulled in
open plains, spreading with each new arrival. She did not want to think whether
underground had a limit, or whether a day would come when the woods would have
to go and the deep swamps would be drained to give way to more people. She did
not want to consider what would happen to the rusalki and the forest spirits
when there would be no more water or forests. She did not want to envision the
underground world a darker, dustier copy of what lay above it. And yet, it was
all she could think about.
8: The Corpse
They left the body in the care of the rusalki who
acted fearful for a while, but soon giggled, reassured by Elena's whisperings,
and played with it as with a gruesome oversized toy. Yakov wanted to object at
first, but then decided that it made no difference, and watched the rusalki
sink below the lake's surface, carrying their new amusement with them. After
that, they left to find Zemun.
He regretted not wearing sturdier boots as the clay
and mud of the meadow, wet from a recent
flood, sucked on his shoes. The meadow, green with stolen
sunlight, spread downward on a gentle slope. Small white and yellow flowers
winked in the verdant grass, and among them the
Celestial Cow grazed, languid. Yakov recognized her because she emitted a soft
glow that lit the meadow with a wavering light that reminded him of the
northern lights he had seen once, when he visited some distant cousins in
Murmansk.
"What a pretty cow,” Galina whispered behind him.
"Yes,” Elena agreed. “I haven't seen much
livestock back on the surface, but I like this one."
The cow lifted her head and studied them with an
expression Yakov could only describe as ‘wise'.
"Hi,” Elena said. “We came for your advice. We
found a dead man who came from the surface-"
"Was he dead when he arrived?” Zemun interrupted
in a slow, melodious voice.
"Yes,” Yakov said. “I'm Yakov, and that's Galina.
We're looking for birds who used to be people. The dead man had something in
his mouth."
Zemun nodded. “I will listen to your questions, but
one at a time. What did you find in the dead man's mouth?"
"This.” Elena opened her palm, and the blue egg
pulsed, as if revived with her warmth.
Zemun sniffed at the gem, and even tested it gingerly
with the surprisingly agile tip of her tongue.
"Do you know what it is?” Yakov asked. “Elena
thinks it's magical, somehow."
"I don't really believe in magic,” Zemun said,
and sniffed at the jewel again. “But this is certainly… strange."
Yakov and Galina traded a look. Yakov wasn't sure what
he expected from this cow, but he hoped for something more insightful.
"Can you help us?” Galina said. “If you don't
know what it is, do you know who does?"
Zemun thought for a bit. “You know,” she said. “I made
the Milky Way."
"That's-nice,” Yakov said, and looked to Galina
for help.
"You don't believe me.” Zemun looked mournful.
“You think that stars just happen, that no one makes them."
"Not necessarily,” Galina said. “But what about
the people who turned into birds?"
"Tell me about that,” Zemun said, still sulking.
Yakov did, and Galina butted in a few times, talking
about her sister. Yakov wished she would stop reminding him about that-he was
acutely aware that he was not doing his job and missing work to boot; his
mother was probably worried sick, and there was nothing he could do to help
Galina.
His thoughts drifted to the young girl, Darya, and her
missing mother. He wished he could send her a message to let her know that he
was looking, that he was trying, and hadn't forgotten about
her. It was like the sleep paralysis he used to get as a
child-a feeling of utter helplessness and despair, and it felt like it was his
fault.
Zemun chewed her cud, thinking. “I can help you,” she
said after a while. “I will help you find why all of this is happening."
"You mean you don't know?” Yakov tried to keep
disappointment out of his voice. Nothing was ever easy, and he resented that
his visit to a magical kingdom of fairytales was turning into a series of
interviews. And corpse examinations. If one was a cop,
this sort of thing would be unavoidable, he supposed. He just wanted a bit of a
respite-and the ability to do something about it.
Zemun shook her head. “I suspect that the disturbances
we're seeing originate on the surface. The surface world is changing, and so is
this one."
"I don't get it,” Galina said. “The surface
always changes-the wars, the revolution, all the other
shit that happened. Why now?"
Zemun looked up, into the grey haze that masked the
absence of the sky. “Who knows? Maybe it is time for the worlds to merge, and
maybe not. But my guess is that someone from here is working with the
surfacers."
"Why?” Yakov said. “And working on what?"
"I would not know,” Zemun said. “But Koschey the
Deathless should be able to help you."
Yakov rolled his eyes. “Of course.
Koschey the Deathless. I knew he would show up
eventually. Do you want me to track down his death? I already know where it is;
I watched a movie about him once."
"No,” Zemun replied. “Just ask him. He knows
about dark magic."
"I thought you didn't believe in magic,” Yakov
said.
Zemun measured him with her languid gaze. “What does
my belief in it has to do with its existence?” she said.
"We better go,” Galina said, and pulled Yakov's
sleeve. “How do we find him?"
"Try the Pub,” Zemun said. “Everyone shows up
there sooner or later."
"Good idea,” Elena said. “I'll come along
too."
* * * *
As much as Yakov tried to avoid any political
involvement in his life, he had sat through his share of a variety of meetings
and lectures on Marxist theory, which were just as boring and filled with the
same dull rhetoric. When he was young enough to be a member of Komsomol, whose
voluntary character was a bald-faced lie, he amused himself by carving
obscenities into the edge of the large wooden table around which they all sat,
under the watchful and blind gaze of Lenin and Marx gypsum busts. Their white
eyes followed Yakov every time he lifted the green cloth covering the meeting
table and carefully cut ‘dick', ‘fuck', and ‘cunt’ into the wood, the simple
incantations warding against gypsum deities. He was thrilled with a mixture of
joy and fearful anticipation, and cringed when he imagined the lightning bolts
they could summon to strike him down. The profanities protected him.
Even here, underground, the word ‘meeting’ did not
fill him with anything but a low-key ennui, even if it was a meeting summoned
by the Celestial Cow. The Pub had a billiard table covered with green fabric,
and its polished raised edges beckoned Yakov; he wished he had a penknife so he
could carve his simple-minded charms into the exposed wood, the better to ward
off boredom.
David bustled around, moving chairs and pushing
together tables so that everyone could fit, including Zemun. Sovin helped, his old back and arms stiffening with the effort. He
occasionally stopped to bark a cough and spit, but did not slow down. The
patrons stood in clusters, whispering; Yakov wondered at first how the rumors
managed to spread so fast, until he saw the group of rusalki. They had brought
the corpse with them, water dripping in slow rivulets from its dark hair. Yakov
had to look away from its gaping mouth and the dislocated lower jaw sticking
out at a disturbing angle. The rusalki held the body up and moved its hands
like a marionette's, laughing softly.
Yakov recognized some of the people and creatures
present; others were new to him, and he tried to guess who they were. There was
a man in a long military coat and hat with a large splayed star, the fashion he
remembered from the movies about the Civil War; another one, narrow-eyed and
sallow-faced looked like a character from a historical drama about the Golden
Horde, and Yakov pegged him for a Tatar-Mongol circa 13th century or
thereabouts. Others were dressed in less identifiable garb-checkered shirts and
dark trousers that could belong anywhere in the twentieth century. The thought
made him sad, that one could become so detached and lost in the stream of time.
Among the people, strange creatures
mingled-besides easily identifiable vodyanoys and leshys, there were things
that seemed the stuff of nightmares, or at least the fairytales he hadn't heard
of. He was especially intrigued by a short stocky gentleman, flanked by two
attendants brandishing iron pitchforks, with eyelids
so long they brushed the ground. A large winged dog sat next to him on the
floor, but seemed unaffiliated. Sovin's rats tried not to get underfoot but
kept close to their benefactor, and glared a bit at the small creatures-some
anthropomorphic, some not so much-who scurried about with pails of sawdust,
covering up the dark spots left by water dripping off the corpse and the
aquatic creatures, and Zemun's cowpats.
David touched his shoulder. “How are you making
out?"
"Fine,” Yakov said, and pointed at the
long-lidded person. “Who's that fellow?"
"Viy,” David answered. “What, you haven't read
Gogol?"
"Sure I have. But I thought these were
mythological creatures here, not literary."
"Viy is mythological,” David said. “He's a
general in Russian hell."
Galina walked up to them. “We get a special
hell?"
"Not a Christian hell.” David
thought a bit, absentmindedly wiping his hand on the stained apron. “A pagan hell… or underworld, if you will."
Galina nodded. “He's the only one who's supposed to be
here, then."
Fyodor sauntered up, and an old man in a red coat
followed him. “What's going on?” he slurred.
Yakov stepped back from the assault of alcohol on
Fyodor's breath. “A meeting,” he said. “We're just waiting for Koschey the
Deathless."
Fyodor laughed and stopped, once he realized Yakov was
not joking. He turned to his companion. “Know anything about him, Father
Frost?"
The old man fluffed his white beard. “We're not
friends, if that's what you're asking. But he knows a lot."
"There he is.” David left the group and headed
toward the entrance, to shake hands with a very tall and thin man dressed in a
black suit.
"I expected him to be scarier,” Galina whispered
to Yakov.
He agreed inwardly; the villain of so many fairytales
he read as a child, of so many movies that fascinated him on Saturday mornings,
was always portrayed as not quite human, a deformed creature possessed of an
unhealthy fascination with young women, and who invariably ended up defeated by
those who could find his cleverly hidden-away death. He did not seem particularly
malignant now, just stern.
"Order!” Zemun called, and shook her head from side to side;
little stars swimming around her neck jangled like bells, and quiet followed on
their wake.
Everyone settled at the giant table, set in the middle
of the star-shaped pub, and for a few moments there was nothing but muffled
coughs and shifting and scrabbling of the chair legs on the floor. House
spirits started on a song somewhere in the walls, but stopped as soon as Zemun
cleared her throat. Everyone remained silent except for the albino jackdaws,
perched on the ceiling beams, who would not stop
squawking.
The rusalki brought the corpse with them, arranging it
carefully across several laps as they sat side by side. Yakov found a place
between Fyodor and Elena, who rolled the blue gem from one palm to the other,
the blue flashes of light playing across her high cheekbones. Koschey the
Deathless, seated to her right, watched the stone too, and Yakov noticed how
deep-set his eyes were. They twinkled with reflected light, somewhere deep in
the dark eye sockets.
"Order!” Zemun bellowed again, and the shifting and the
coughing stopped. At her signal, the rusalki rose to present the corpse.
"This,” Zemun said, “has surfaced today in the
Rusalki's Lake. It was just the day after these three newcomers arrived,
following the birds from the surface who appear to pass freely between the
surface and the underground. Moreover, there's reason to believe that these
birds are people who recently underwent transformation. We are thus forced to
conclude that there's magic on the surface, and the dead bodies are able to
cross here."
Yakov smiled to himself, at the cow's ability to
dispense with lengthy introductions and avoid any dialectics altogether. Based
on his limited experience, he expected to hear about dialectics at every
meeting. A buzz of excited conversation filled the room, and
Viy's attendants used their pitchforks to lift his eyelids so he could view the
dead body.
"Don't worry,” Elena whispered to Yakov and
Fyodor. “His gaze won't turn you into stone. It's just a rumor."
"Thanks,” Fyodor whispered back. “I was worried
about that."
"Does anyone know where this body came from?”
Zemun said.
"No.” Koschey's voice crackled like a dry twig.
“But I can find out."
The collective groan swirled around the table.
"Not you, with your raising of the dead again,”
said a blue-skinned dripping vodyanoy, his large frog-like eyes bulging out of
his scaly face.
"Why not?” Koschey replied. “At least now I have a dead body to raise. That'll shut your mouth… and aren't fish supposed to
be silent anyway?"
Vodyanoy huffed, but offered no further argument.
"Has anyone else any objections?” Koschey stared
at Zemun. “Maybe you, beefsteak?"
"Drop dead,” Zemun murmured.
The rest of the demigods and spirits remained quiet,
and Koschey turned to the people. “Any of you fleshbags have anything to say?
In the old days, I swear, I would use your skins for upholstery instead of
asking for your opinion, but I guess we have pluralism now."
"Do what you must,” Elena said. “And don't get
too excited-you might get apoplexy."
The rest of the humans tittered, and Yakov surmised
that the death of Koschey the Deathless was a favorite joke for many.
Koschey stood, especially tall and skeletally thin in
the Zemun's aurora borealis lights and the blue glittering of the gem. He
commanded attention, and Yakov wondered if Koschey indeed was capable of
raising the dead man.
"Give me that, sweetheart,” Koschey said to Elena
and stretched out his hand, palm up.
She put the gem into it. “Do you know what it
is?"
"It's a rather well-polished glass sphere,”
Koschey said. “What's more important is what's inside of it."
"And that would be?” Yakov said.
Koschey looked at him for the first time, and Yakov felt
as if insects were crawling under the collar of his shirt. “And that, my
succulent friend, would be this man's soul. You see, I know quite a bit about
hiding away souls."
"I thought it was your death that was hidden
away,” Galina said.
"It's all the same, dear,” Koschey answered.
“Every soul contains the seed of its own destruction. Now, if I may proceed…"
Yakov could not shake the impression
that he was watching a magic show, even as Koschey pressed the blue marble
under the dead man's tongue and unwound the electrical tape around the corpse's
wrists. He fixed his jaw, closing the stagnant mouth bristling with chipped and
broken teeth, hiding the blackened tongue that sprang like a pistil of that
obscene flower.
Koschey whispered some words into the corpse's ear,
and patted his pockets. Looking annoyed, he left his ministering. “Does anyone
have two coins?” he said. “I didn't quite expect to perform a
resurrection."
"Over here,” Fyodor said. Everyone held their
breath as he offered Koschey a faceless coin on a thin golden chain.
Koschey grasped the coin, and Fyodor pulled it out. He
then once again passed the coin through the bony fist of Koschey.
Yakov watched the manipulation in confusion, until
Koschey unclenched his fist and showed two glittering coins. He placed the
coins onto the corpse's eyes, closing them. The bruised shadows spread under
them, and Koschey resumed whispering incantations.
Yakov got bored and looked around the room. A part of
him still expected to wake up in his room, with his mom hollering from the
kitchen to come and get his breakfast; he felt guilty for thinking of her so
little. He imagined her, like she always was, tight-lipped and slightly
worried, always uneasy about something, when a loud jingling snapped him back
to his present, in his grandfather's pub, at the table surrounded by people who
should've been dead ages ago and things that shouldn't have existed at all. He
looked at the table, uncomprehending at first, at the two polished coins
spinning and dancing on its rough surface. Then he looked at the corpse, who
opened its filmy milky eyes, rubbed his wrists, and shivered
in his wet clothes. Then, he began to speak.
* * * *
Sergey never thought that he would become a thug when
he grew up-when he was growing up, thugs were not a viable career choice, and
boys his age rarely dreamt beyond becoming cosmonauts or firemen; at least,
once they realized that the positions of revolutionary heroes were filled long
ago, and were no longer offered.
He had an obsessive love of cavalry, of Chapaev and
Budyonny, and he read every book in the library dealing with the Civil War and
the heroism of the Red Army. He was disappointed when he learned that cavalry
was a thing of the past, and if he joined the army he would be more likely to
see the golden, undulating grass of the steppes through the narrow slit of a
tank than from horseback, the wind whistling by, the air saturated with the
smell of dry grass and horse sweat. His love of war and horses left him alternately
thinking of becoming a soldier and a veterinarian; when he graduated from high
school, he applied to a veterinary institute. He failed the entrance exams, and
was drafted into the army.
The army changed him-after a year of being hazed and
another one doing the hazing, he decided that veterinary medicine was a passing
fancy, and the life of a rural vet-a childish and embarrassing dream. He stayed
in the army for the third year, not required by the draft, and started applying
to military academies.
And then Things Changed, in a big way. Military
spending was cut and he was sent home from his post guarding a nuclear silo.
The rumor was that the nukes in there were earmarked for non-confrontational
destruction, but Sergey did not really care. After privatization of everything
started and co-op stores sprang overnight like shaky corrugated toadstools,
something became obvious to Sergey: privilege that during his youth was
reserved for the party members, that used to be won in battle before that, was now
free for the taking for those with brains, business sense, and non-demanding
scruples.
He knew that he had neither brains nor business sense;
he only had a permissive conscience and good physical training. The co-op
stores needed protection, only some didn't know it yet, and Sergey joined a
group of sympathetic individuals who took it upon themselves to persuade
business owners to pay for their protection from rival racketeers.
He never rose in the ranks, and he didn't concern
himself with the whys or hows of it; he considered himself a simple
businessman. When those who owed money did not pay, he experienced a sense of
vague hurt and betrayal, and he felt righteous punishing the people who for
some reason didn't think it was necessary to pay their debts. Some went so far
as to deny the very need for protection-or a roof, as it was called. “You need
a roof,” Sergey would try to explain. “If you don't have protection, other
gangs would do what they please to you, your company, and your money. What are you
going to do then, huh? Go to the police?"
The subject then understood his folly and hung his
head, and forked over whatever cash was required. Only the most obstreperous
cases needed persuasive punishment.
Sergey worked with some real artists in his life-given
an electric iron, a set of pliers, and a roll of electrical tape, they reduced
the most cocky businessmen to sniveling, simpering piles of refuse. These crude
instruments went out of favor, though, once thugs discovered hexes.
They were old wives’ tales, Sergey thought initially.
Potions, talismans, kabbalic symbols-they were all the same, incantations of
curses and blessings; sacrifices to the unknown and too-ancient-for-names
gods-silliness, he said. There were no mysterious energies, no obligingly
aligned stars that would facilitate the outcome of a territorial dispute; no
bunch of dried herbs would help his prehistoric car, a Volga, the sad legacy of
some ex-communist functionary, start in the morning. Except
they did.
He attributed it to coincidences at
first, and while he didn't quite believe it, he didn't disbelieve it either.
The watershed moment came when his associates conceived of the glass business.
One of them, Slava, a tall lanky guy who used to be in
the same class as Sergey and who fixed him up with his current employment, took
Sergey to a remote and largely unsupervised railroad branch-a single track
picking its way through the few remaining apple orchards and patchy forests of
Biryolevo, the wood of the railroad ties exhaling the smell of pitch and
creosote in the summer heat, rare grass stems littering the stony ground in
between them. The track was used to cart glass granules-small spheres of green,
blue and clear glass, two centimeters in diameter-to a nearby glass factory.
The granules were transported in open cars, moving with the speed of a vigorous
jog, and wouldn't be difficult to get to.
"What do we need these granules for?” Sergey
asked. “They're not worth shit."
"But not what you can do with them,” said Slava.
“Chechens will shit themselves when they hear that we have this… power. Did you
know that glass can trap souls?” Slava was quickly becoming an expert in the
occult.
"No,” Sergey said. “Where the fuck do you find
this info?"
"I have my sources,” Slava said with a sly smile.
“Are you in or not? Once they hear that we can not only kill them but have
their souls for eternity, no one will ever mess with us. Ever.”
Slava spoke with relish, kicking the rail that sang in a low, resonant voice,
and Sergey imagined that the sound of Slava's Adidas running shoe traveled far,
to lands unknown, perhaps as far as Europe. “Chechens, they're afraid for their
souls, they're Christians."
"Muslims,” Sergey corrected. “Armenians and
Georgians are Christians."
"Same difference,” Slava said. “Whatever the fuck
it is they believe, as long as they believe in heaven. We can deny it to them.
How cool is that?"
A slow train rambled past, and Slava waited until it
almost passed, then sprinted along and caught up to one of the open cars. He leapt
and grabbed onto the edge. He didn't pull himself up but just reached inside
and let go, landing in a squat on the tracks. He returned and showed Sergey a
handful of green spheres. “This is cool.” He offered one to Sergey, and held
another one close to his eye, squinting up at the sun.
Sergey did the same. The small pockmarks and
imperfections on the glass sphere's surface became enlarged, and he felt as if
he were looking at the lunar surface, mysterious and luminously green,
distorted by the slight curvature of the glass, smoldering with craters. He
discovered that if he rotated the sphere in his fingers, the green world
rotated with it, showing him its hidden mountains and deep fissures.
"Not a bad place for a soul to be, don't you
think?” Slava said to him. “You game?"
And thus Sergey found himself in what they
euphemistically called the glass business, and he accumulated a nice collection
of souls as Slava and the rest expanded their territory. That is, until he
found himself on the wrong end of the glass granule.
He grew increasingly curious about Slava's sources of
arcane knowledge, and he asked questions. When the questions proved fruitless,
he started to snoop. By then he could afford to ditch the Volga, rusted and
heavy with class implications, and bought a Jeep-secondhand, but in better
condition than anything he had owned to date. Slava, however, changed his
Mercedes for a new one as soon as
the ashtrays filled up, and Sergey suspected that his
sources of income included other things besides racketeering and soul-trapping.
He decided to track Slava's secret dealings.
He took a post at the entrance to Slava's apartment
building, a well-appointed old house on Tverskaya; for that expedition, he
borrowed an unassuming Zaporozhets (the make that in the city folklore was
often compared to a pregnant ninth-grader, since both equaled family disgrace)
from a friend, and kept vigil among the equally homely cars parked in the
courtyard, with a good view of Slava's maroon Merc. He waited until well after
midnight, when Slava emerged from his building, alone; Sergey's heart picked up
its beat-the absence of the two meaty bodyguards that followed him everywhere
lately indicated that Slava was about to do something secret.
Sergey waited for him to exit the yard and turned on
his lights. He followed him through the slow crawling traffic, quite certain
that the Zaporozhets was well below Slava's detection threshold. The traffic
was dense, and Sergey worried a few times that he would lose his quarry. Once they
merged onto the Sadovoe Koltso, the following became easier. Sergey headed
south-east, toward Kolomenskoe.
The park was closed, but Slava easily scaled the iron
fence.
Sergey parked his car well away from Slava's, and
followed over the fence. He followed the winding paths, stumbling in the dark
and cursing under his breath, but never losing the sight of Slava's flashlight
up ahead, between the trees.
The moon came out, and it was light enough to see some
of the commemorative plaques. Sergey surmised that they were going to Peter the
Great's shack-a tiny wooden house, transported plank by plank to Kolomenskoe,
where it could be properly immortalized. And now, it seemed, it was the scene
of some shady dealings.
Slava's flashlight disappeared inside the Peter the
Great's shack, and Sergey tiptoed closer. There were voices inside-at first,
Slava spoke, and a strange voice answered. Sergey felt cold
sweat trickling down his spine, and the weight of silence around him. A
small breeze stirred the leaves over his head and he was embarrassingly
grateful for this sign that he was still in the park, in the human world, for
the voice he had just heard certainly did not belong here.
He could not discern the words and was too spooked to
look inside. He backed from the house silently, even more terrified to make a
sound. He knew well what Slava was capable of, but the creature he conferred
with seemed even more dangerous, unfathomable and otherworldly.
He made his escape and no longer followed Slava on his
night expeditions. The change in his demeanor was noticed, and it was his turn
to be questioned. He feigned personal preoccupations and even invented a
knocked-up girlfriend who wouldn't get an abortion.
"All right,” Slava told him, his eyes still dark
with unease. “Just don't let it make you sloppy."
Sergey swore that it wouldn't; he felt relieved at not
being found out.
The end came when Slava called him on his cell. “I
need you to do something for me,” he said. “Very hush-hush.
There's a new hex in town, and I need you to find me a test subject. I don't
care what or who it is, just get me a body. Just make sure it is alive."
Sergey drove through the streets of his neighborhood,
to an open-air market where sloe-eyed Caucasian nationals sold roses and
melons, tomatoes the size of a baby's head and bootlegged American thrillers.
It was dusk, and the customers dispersed. Relations with the Caucasian gangs
were
strained as it was, so he decided to target one of the leaving
customers. A middle-aged woman, her hands happily occupied by bulging plastic
bags of southern produce, turned down a narrow side street, and Sergey
followed. He pressed a gun against her ribs and persuaded her to follow him to
the vehicle. He didn't worry about her being able to identify the Jeep-the
subjects of Slava's experiments rarely got an opportunity to talk about their
experiences afterward.
He called Slava back. “Got one,” he said.
"Meet me at the central entrance,” Slava said.
"I'll be there in half an hour."
He drove to Kolomenskoe, and parked next to the idling
Merc. Slava waited inside, a cigarette smoldering in his narrow lips. “Good
job,” he told Sergey once he presented the woman, mute with fear and
tear-stained. “Come along-I want you to see this."
Sergey and his captive followed. The tourists and the
relaxing citizens had cleared out of the park by then, and the paths crossed by
long shadows were especially mysterious. Slava kept quiet, and Sergey grew
uneasy.
"What's that new thing for?” Sergey asked.
"Turning people into birds,” Slava said. “Only
it's not for us. It's a favor I'm doing."
"For those who gave all this
magic to you?” Sergey asked.
Slava stopped and turned, his
hands in the pockets of his maroon jacket. “Yes,” he said. He took one hand out
of the pocket and showed Sergey a blue glass sphere. “And this one is for
you."
Several goons with tape and pliers stepped from behind
the trees crowding the dark path.
Sergey struggled in their hands. “What did I do?” he
asked Slava.
"I hate spies."
"I'm not a spy,” Sergey said. “Why do you say
that?"
"I never told you the central gates of what,”
Slava answered. “Stupid bitch."
9: Oksana
There were too many questions that needed asking, and
yet Fyodor felt disinclined to ask them. He left it up to Galina and to Yakov;
the latter continuously surprised Fyodor by his seemingly earnest caring about
finding out what happened to the bird people. Ever since the resurrection, he
had been locked in the back room of the Pub, interrogating the resurrected
thug. Fyodor and Galina waited with the rest in the overcrowded main hall,
drinking David's homemade beer, which Fyodor was growing quite fond of.
Galina and Elena were speaking in hushed tones, and he
looked around for entertainment. Koschey, apparently satisfied with success of
his feat, walked from table to table, smiling and nodding to the grudging
praise. Fyodor smiled and thought that the underground felt cozy to him, as if
he actually belonged here. He loved Koschey and Zemun, who leaned against a
table where several rusalki and vodyanoys were sharing a pitcher of something
steaming and delicious; he loved the Medieval
Tatar-Mongol
who argued animatedly with the Red Army soldier circa 1919 two tables over. He was used to the interstices of life, he fit
comfortably into crannies which most people overlooked, and the underground was
nothing but crannies and interstices. He was content to let Yakov and Galina
chase after leads and interrogate dead thugs. He was quite happy to stay in the
Pub.
His gaze traveled from one table to the next, snagging
at patches of color and unusual faces, drinking it all in. He thought about the
history they had learned in school, and felt a profound sense of gratitude that
there was an underground, to supplement the stirring tales of conquests and
orderly victories, of revolutions and heroes, of thwarted invasions; that there
was that hidden side without which nothing made sense. All the while it had
been there, and now Fyodor knew why the world used to feel so off-kilter, so
careening, so missing something important. He wondered if everyone felt that
way, that vague longing for something they believed lost a long time ago, but
in reality just buried underground.
"What are you thinking about?” Galina asked.
He just shrugged, lacking the ability to verbalize the
deep sense of calm and satisfaction at all the pieces finally tumbling into
their proper place. “Just how cool this place is."
"Well, it won't be so pleasant much longer,”
Elena said. “Enjoy it while it lasts."
Fyodor sat up. “Why?"
"Weren't you listening to that-corpse?” Galina
said irritably. “If the thugs know there's something here, don't you worry
they'll come looking for more?"
"Not to mention that one of the old ones is
helping them and turning people into birds,” Elena said. “This is serious
business. And still no trace of Berendey."
"Maybe he's just busy,” Galina said.
Elena shook her head. “When Zemun calls a meeting, all
the old ones come. Even Koschey made it, which frankly I found
surprising."
"Do you think he's the one who's helping them?”
Galina said.
Elena shrugged. “It would be in character, but I don't
think we should be hasty in our conclusions."
Zemun sauntered over, her jaws moving in their
indefatigable chewing. “Who has the most to gain? Answer me that, and you'll
have found your culprit."
"Gain what and from what?” Galina irritably
swatted a strand of hair that fell across her forehead. “We don't even know why
whoever it is wanted people turned into birds."
"We can guess,” Elena said, and Zemun nodded.
Fyodor resumed his survey of the Pub. He noticed a
bright spot of green, red and blue out of the corner of his eye-the same swirl
of intensity he dabbed on his canvas time and time again, remembering a
jingling of bracelets on thin wrists and a flutter of black hair that swept
over dark smoldering eyes. At the thought of her, his fingers itched to paint
the forbidden, that which could not be understood or pinned down. He took
another sip of his beer and turned carefully, expecting the vision to dissipate
once it was in full view. It did not.
Fyodor shook his head to dispel the
unbidden apparition; he told himself that it couldn't be her-she still looked
the same as that day, years ago, on the bridge. She saw him too and frowned a
bit, as if trying to locate his face in the gallery of her memories.
He smiled and she approached their table, petted
Zemun's muzzle with a distracted hand, her eyes still
on Fyodor's. “Excuse me,” she said. “Do I know you from somewhere?"
He nodded. “I was rude to you and your bear. And I
painted your picture."
The expression of her face did not change, but it was
as if her soul suddenly drained out, leaving behind a perfect but lifeless and
brittle replica of her face. “What are you doing here?” she said. “I thought I
left you behind."
He nodded. “You did. I was looking for you, to tell
you I was sorry. Have you been underground long?"
"Ever since I gave my luck
away.” She pointed at the gold
chain around his neck.
"You can have it back if you want.” He felt
curious stares from Galina and Elena on him, and wished that the girl would
just sit down.
She shook her head. “I can't. Once you give it away
you can't get it back."
"I'm sorry,” he said. “Why did you give it to
me?"
She finally sat, wedging between him and Elena. She
looked at him as if from a great distance of time and lived experience that
separated them. “I just wanted someone to like me."
He laughed, surprised. “Like you? How could anyone not
like you?"
"You didn't,” she said, and gave a long sideway
look at Galina.
"I was young and stupid."
She looked down at her hands, smiling a wan smile.
“Then so was everyone else."
"What about your tabor?” he said.
"That's the thing,” she said. “You always treated
us like vermin and told us to stick with our own kind. We were never people to
you, we were rats who should be grateful for your scraps and who are run out of
town the moment you decide you're uncomfortable with our presence or you need
someone to blame for a drought or an epidemic."
Fyodor wanted to argue, but he remembered his own
fears and forbidden interest, the expression on his mother's face when she told
him that gypsies would steal him. He nodded instead.
Sovin looked up from his table, where he was engrossed
in a game of checkers with another old man, and waved. Oksana waved back,
smiling. “Where are your rats?” she yelled over the din of the pub.
"Right here,” Sovin answered, and several rats
scurried from under the table and ran over to Oksana, climbing on her long
skirt, racing to be first on her lap.
She petted them as if they were cats. “My friends,”
she told Fyodor.
"I can see that,” he answered. “Do they do
tricks?"
"Some,” Oksana said. “I'll show you
when there are more around-they work better in groups."
The rats settled, sniffing at Oksana and sometimes
turning to Fyodor, testing his scent with their whiskers; they smelled Oksana's
luck on him.
"You want to go for a walk?” he said, just to get
away from the acute discomfort that intruded upon his idyll.
"Sure,” she said. “Do you mind if the rats come
too? They need exercise."
"Not a problem.” He nodded to Galina. “I won't be
long. Hope your cop friend finds something."
She nodded, without looking up, and Elena twined her
arm around Galina's shoulders, whispering quick reassurances in her ear.
It was dark outside, and glowtrees dimmed, flashed and
sparkled with seconds of brilliance, and dimmed again.
White jackdaws and rooks slept in the branches, their
heavy beaks tucked under their wings, and only occasionally a ruby eye opened
to give the passing people and rats an indifferent look and closed again,
filming over with leathery eyelids.
"Did you want to ask me something?” Oksana said.
He nodded. “I want to know how you got here-and you know, what it was like for you. On the
surface."
* * * *
Oksana knew the sense of misplacement before she could
talk. As long as she could remember, she knew moving trains and changing
landscapes, with the only constant of women sitting on their parcels, and
children crying and playing under the wary eyes of their mothers.
She was lucky, she said, when her family received
reparations from the Holocaust-an event she had a vague concept of, but because
of it money was sent by some foreign humanitarian agency, and it was because
both of her maternal grandparents had perished in a gas chamber. But the money
was good, and they bought a house-a shack with no running water or indoor plumbing,
but still a real house where they could stay in one place and Oksana could
attend school. This experience only increased her confusion-other children
asked her questions that had never occurred to her, and she struggled for
answers.
She had to explain that she was a gypsy and that
gypsies spoke a legitimate language, not any thieves’ argot. She explained that
her mother really could tell people's fortunes. That the movies about gypsies
really weren't that accurate, and the songs that sold on shining black vinyl
records, even though they were called “Gypsy Romances” were neither. And with
every question the distance between her and her classmates grew. She started to
hate her Ukrainian name, given to her because she was born in Kiev.
Then the money ran out, and they joined their old
tabor again. Her mother ailed and told fortunes increasingly bizarre and dark;
Oksana had to find a source of income more substantial than what walking the
bear on a leash could provide. She started doing private parties at expensive
restaurants, where she danced and played her guitar and sang the Gypsy
romances. These songs were just like the real ones, with the point and the soul
taken out of them-she could not understand why it was necessary to kill the germ
of something alive and genuine in everything intended for mass consumption. It
was the same with matryoshkas, the dumb soulless chunks of wood which
enterprising artists sold everywhere; it was the same with sex.
They needed the money, but at first she balked when at
the parties one or the another drunk businessman, red and sweating, his jacket
unbuttoned and his tie long gone, asked her if she had lice and when she
answered in the negative offered her a thin stack of large bills for something
extra. Eventually, she could not afford to say no, and really, it wasn't that
bad, just follow them to the bathroom or the backroom, close your eyes, chew
your lip, and really, how was that different from what Fyodor was doing,
selling her painted and repainted picture, her features just a smudge of dusky
skin and black eyes and red lips, blurred by repetition of the movement, how
was that different? How was that different from a cracked needle wearing a
groove through old vinyl, going round and round and never arriving, how was
that different from the birch stump spinning under the sharp incisor of the
carver's knife until it acquired the pear shape of the stupid nesting doll?
The world spun them all around, in circles that bore
an illusory similarity to spirals, until they were worn and stripped of all
identifying features, like her coin, like a lollypop in a greedy child's mouth.
She span in the dance, her skirt flying about her in a brightly desperate
circle, she sang, she took it from behind, all accompanied by a dreadful
feeling of being hurled into the gray void of an empty October sky.
She only felt balanced that day on the bridge, when on
a whim she peered over the angular shoulder of the man with a notepad and saw
the bridge and the church across reflected in paper just like the water
reflected them-the same yet different, not defiled but honored. And right then,
she wanted to see herself as he saw her, as others couldn't.
And when he painted her, she felt real. She felt less
like an assemblage of exotic features but a
primal creature of color and light, of primal planes and
sharp angles. She was broken down and reconstructed on paper, not quite
herself, but real, with the gravity her actual body lacked, free of binding
spirals and the sandpaper fists of the world.
She gave him her luck and she showed him Misha, hoping
that Fyodor would recognize them for what they were,
that he would realize that Misha was a soul at the last stages of being ground
down to bare bone and splinters of broken teeth and claws. That he was what
awaited her if she remained in this life. Instead Fyodor walked away, and
nothing was ever right.
Oksana did not blame him, not directly; after all, no
one owed anything to anyone else. She wasn't looking for a savior, just for
someone who would understand. She was mad at herself for her failure to
explain. Her singing acquired a cracked quality as her throat grew dry and
something in her chest shattered. Her fingers slid limply off the strings of
her guitar. Misha died in October.
They had moved from the train station then, and took
residence in Tsaritsino-the park was under construction, large parts of it were
closed off, and a gypsy tabor and a bear could hide there until winter, when
they would head for the warmer climes or overwinter, cold and huddled but
stubborn like crows. But now, they had a dead bear on their hands. Cremation
seemed like the best option, and Oksana, grieving more than the rest, found
something proper and almost poetic about it.
They built a funeral pyre from loose branches and a
few small birches and lindens they assumed no one would miss, and the body of
the bear, shrunken and desiccated, was rolled on top of it. It was night, and
the leaves still clinging to the branches stood black against the indigo sky
and the large pale moon.
The yellow flames licked the branches and crackled,
drying the sap in a cloud of pungent black smoke, tainting the air with the
taste of true autumn and bitterness. Their tongues twined around birch trunks,
and the long curls of white bark whispered and lit easily like paper, every
mark on their surface outlined in red for just a moment and then gone in a
flash of pure orange flame. The flames reached for the dead
bear's body, and the smell of leaves was supplanted by the stench of
burning hair.
The rest dispersed then, satisfied that the flames
burned hot and bright, and in the morning nothing would be left but a few
ash-colored bones, easy to break apart into long sharp splinters and bury. Only
Oksana remained, her eyes watering from the stench. She hugged her shoulders as
the wave of heat slammed into her again and again, and greasy soot settled like
fat black snowflakes on her hair, eyelashes, cheekbones, lips. The bear on top
of the pyre seemed to come to life-his limbs contorted in the heat, as if he
were waving to her to join him. She understood that the movement was the result
of the contractions of drying muscles, before they turned to cinders. But she
also understood that there was no point in waiting until she was as old and broken
as Misha, her body heaved on a funeral pyre of her own. Or perhaps they would
bury her, and the thought filled her with disgust-she did not relish darkness
or the wet smell of earth, or the inevitable worms. She would rather go now, in
a burst of flames like so many gypsy women of bygone days. It would be her only
act of defiance-to confound fate by embracing it too early.
Oksana took a few deep gulps of breath, as if she were
about to dive underwater, not into the roaring flames with the sizzling corpse
of a dead bear inside. The flames surged upward, licking the pale moon with
their red dog tongues, and curved inward, opening a dark glowing passage
between them. Oksana closed her eyes and stepped through, buoyed by the
blindingly hot gust of air from the pyre's heart; her feet left the ground and
for a while she hovered, surrounded by gleaming walls of solid fire, her arms
outstretched, flying like a bird, until it hurled her with the force of an
ocean wave toward the dead bear, and she felt the two of them-burning,
burning-hurled into the empty ocean of the dark
October
sky.
* * * *
Fyodor remained quiet-what could he say? He didn't
give any promises, he was blameless and yet guilt nestled somewhere close to
the surface. He watched the rats streaming in a small dark rivulet around
Oksana's walking small feet. There seemed to be more of them coming from the
cracks in the pavement and out of houses, joining the glossy throng of brown
fur. He looked up, at the white birds in the trees.
"All we see here are those albino things,” he
said to break the awkward silence. “I wonder where all the black ones
went."
"There aren't any,” Oksana said.
"I meant the ones that flew in from the surface.
The ones we've followed."
She nodded. “I heard David and Sovin talk about that
but I never saw any myself. That girl's sister is one of these birds, isn't
she?"
"So I heard,” Fyodor said. “But isn't it strange?
These birds go here and disappear."
"It is strange,” Oksana agreed and fell quiet.
He knew that she didn't want to talk about the birds
or the thug, of everyone's agitation. She was remembering a private pain, and
at the moment it eclipsed everything else. Fyodor had no comfort to offer, and
had he done so it wouldn't have mattered-she didn't want to be comforted.
"Do your rats have names?” he asked.
She nodded. “That one's Alex,
and this is Sasha, and Sonya and Masha and Artyom."
"How can you tell them apart?"
"They are different,” she said. “And they tell me
their names. They try to tell me more but I don't understand."
"One of them was looking at the coin you gave me.
I think it smelled you."
She gave a small rueful smile, briefly transformed
into a naked skeletal grimace by the flaring of a glowtree. “They like me, and
Sovin doesn't mind if they spend time with me. Want to see the tricks they can
do?"
"Sure.” Fyodor was eager for anything that would
distract her from dark thoughts and self-pity. “There must be a hundred of them
here."
Oksana whistled to the rats and they fell into
formation-the blur of rat bodies acquired a shape as they parted like the Red
Sea and formed neat rows, their eyes glittering red coals in the dusk.
Oksana whistled some more and the rats obeyed-they
jumped on each other's backs, forming tall columns instead of rows. Fyodor
admired their organization and architectural cleverness-each column had a base
of several dozen rats, and grew slimmer as it grew taller, with only one rat
crowing the taper of the column.
"Neat,” Fyodor said.
She smiled. “Look at this.” She whistled a low sad
note that hung in the air a moment too long, trembling, and the rat columns
twisted, falling toward each other. The rats formed chains, made of rats
twining their tails back to back and holding hands face to face; the chains
grew thicker, writhing,
rising away from the ground, coalescing into shape-Fyodor
recognized two stout legs and a bulky body, two long arms and a round head with
a long snout. The creature stood before him, tottering a bit. And he laughed.
“This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen,” he said. “That's a bear made
entirely of rats. Can it walk?"
Through a miracle of coordination, effort, and desire
to please, the creature took one laborious, shuffling step forward, its arms
swaying freely, giving a disturbing impression of broken bones.
Oksana tilted her head to her shoulder, looking the
creature over critically. “What do you think?"
"It's impressive,” Fyodor said. “I'm always
amazed at how smart those things are-rats and crows. And they're just vermin,
you know?"
"I know,” she said, and stopped smiling. “Like
gypsies-isn't it what you're going to say?"
"No,” he said. “I know how people see you. But
when I was little, my mom was telling me how gypsies would steal me."
"Sure,” she said. “Blame it on your
upbringing."
"I think I wanted to be stolen,” he said. “And
yes, I know you don't really steal children, but that's not the point. You
complain that they treat you differently…"
"And you do."
"I just wanted something magical,” he said. “I'm
sorry. I didn't know that different is always bad."
"Of course. Admitting that different can be better is actually a
confession of inferiority; who would agree to that?"
The bear made of rats took another stumbling step
forward. Oksana judged that it was safe to resume walking, and the rat-bear
stumbled behind.
The sleeping albino birds woke and suspiciously
watched the bear glittering with a myriad of rat eyes and festooned with
dangling naked tails. Some even joined along, hopping from tree to tree,
exchanging quiet caws.
They turned back to the pub, the white birds still
following.
"At least this bear is not going to die,” Fyodor
said. “You made yourself an immortal pet who'll never
leave you."
She nodded, smiling, and walked faster, her skirt
swishing around her ankles. Good, Fyodor thought. He had finally found the
right thing to say.
10: Timur-Bey
Galina could not sleep that night-in Sovin's'warm
house smelling of animals and the suffocating comfort of hay,
it should've been easy to sleep. But every time she started to drift off she
dreamt of Masha, sometimes human, sometimes a bird. Masha cried and reached for
her with her jet-black wings and called in her sweet voice. “Where are you,
Galka? Why aren't you coming for me?"
"I am,” Galina told her. “I am
looking for you."
"Don't leave me here,” Masha pleaded. “Please
don't leave me, don't forget me."
"I would never leave you."
"Find me beyond death, beyond the river."
Masha's eyes grew huge and wide and human in her bird
face, and Galina woke with a start, Masha's high voice still ringing in her
ears. She sat up on the inflatable mattress that was already sagging; must've
been a leak. She was alone in the room-the years of privation and a habit of
hard work prompted Sovin to build big when he got a chance,
and his house sprawled, irregular, in a maze of small angled rooms. The naked
beams of the walls, warm and worm-holed, felt rough and reassuring under her
fingers.
She thought about what Yakov told her, and she felt
uneasy. The darkness surrounding Sergey's associates’ plans and their
underground allies worried her. There was an expectation she learned in her
childhood that the universe was essentially predictable, even if the life
didn't always work out the way it was supposed to. She didn't expect to be
diagnosed in high school and prevented from going to college; but things turned
and she could find a job without any formal education, just a good working
knowledge of English, French and German acquired through studying by herself, in the mental hospital, just to pass the time. Back
then, foreign words and strange letters warded off the heavy breathing of
stygian beasts that crouched around her bed. They were her talismans, those
words, those varied shades covering the same meaning
like masks. There was order in the world, even if it was occasionally
disguised. It chased away the monsters.
She sat down on the floor, her back pressed against
the door, and whispered her protective spells-she whispered the words for
bread, earth, air in all four languages in turn. Water.
Grass. World. The nightmares
subsided, leaving only the sense of longing and confusion.
She knocked on Sovin's door-he didn't sleep during the
nights out of old habit; she could see the weak light from the tallow candles
seeping through the uneven crack under the door.
"Come in.” He wore long underwear, and his thin
old man's legs reminded her of a stork; a padded jacket over the stained shirt
hung like a pair of atrophied gray wings.
"I dreamt of my sister,” she said. “She told me
to find her beyond the river-do you know what that means?"
"There is a river nearby,” he said and sat on the
padlocked chest at the foot of his narrow pristinely made bed that reminded Galina
of the hospital. “Have a seat, dear."
She sat on the edge of the bed, for lack of any other
arrangements. “You live so sparely,” she said.
He nodded. “The less you have, the less you
lose."
"Or the more you lose the less you have,” she
answered.
"Could be. But the river… we don't cross it all that much-the
vodyanoys and rusalki don't like people mucking it up. And
getting across can be problematic. Berendey's forest is on the other
shore."
"No one has yet seen him, right?"
He shook his head and hacked wetly. “Not that I know of. Zemun's worried, and Koschey is raring
to go. Now everyone thinks that he's up to something, so he's eager to pin it
on someone else."
"You don't think it's him?"
"I don't,” Sovin said. “He's a chthonic figure,
and they are always demonized without good reason. People just don't like
anything associated with death and dirt. Do you even realize how different you
and I are from everyone on the surface? Most people would rather die than live
underground, without sun."
"I don't want to stay here forever. Just as long as I need to find my sister."
Sovin opened his mouth to say something but then
thought better of it and just sighed.
"Thank you,” Galina said. “I know it might take
forever. I just don't want to think about it right now."
"This place sucks you in,” Sovin said. “It's
comfortable here, and at first you want to see what else is here, you want to
explore-and then you just settle and build a house and spend your days playing
checkers."
"It won't happen to me."
"I suppose not.” He chewed the air with his
toothless mouth. “I suppose you do love your sister."
Galina nodded wordlessly. She'd forgiven Masha for
marrying and having a baby; she just wanted her back now. “I'm so sorry,” she
whispered, forgetting about Sovin. “It's all my
fault."
"Just be careful,” Sovin said. “Look at David if
you need reminders-he did love his wife and yet he never did anything to get
her back. Now is a good time for you; everyone's talking doomsday and how the
surface is going to overtake us; everyone's scared. Maybe you'll get someone to
come with you across the river. And if you want my advice, go tomorrow, go
while the pain's still fresh enough to egg you on. The day your heartache
dulls, you'll be living here and drinking tea with her majesty Elena."
"You don't like her?"
"Not just her. It's the aristocracy I don't
like."
"She seems nice."
"Oh, she is. But it's about the principle."
"How can you hate someone on principle
alone?"
Sovin sighed and closed his eyes. “It is easier than
you think."
Galina stood. “Thank you. I'll leave tomorrow. I guess
you won't be coming with me?"
He shook his head, dejected. “I feel old. I don't want
to explore. You're welcome here anytime, but that's all I can do for you,
sorry."
She returned to her room whispering Je ne sais pas and Ich weiß nicht to herself to guard from
confusion. There was a river, then; did it mean that Masha's appearance in her
dream was real? But she had been expecting a river all along, a dark twisting
river smelling of dust, with a lone oarsman who
would accept a copper coin in his palm, solid and crevassed
as if carved from dark wood-and did it even matter? There were signposts, and
she would be a fool not to follow them.
With that thought, enormous fatigue came, and she lay
on her mostly deflated mattress; even before she closed her eyes, the dark
waters rolled before her, and a small speck of light grew larger, as the boat
moved closer toward her, guided by the uneven light of the lantern mounted on
its prow.
* * * *
The next morning, she asked Fyodor and Yakov if they
wanted to go. Yakov nodded, dutiful. Fyodor thought a bit and shook his head.
"Zemun will go with us,” Yakov said. “Yesterday,
she was agitating that we need to do something. If you ask her, she'll have to
go. Ask around, see who else is game."
"I think we need to bring that thug along,
Sergey,” Galina said. “He'll be able to recognize the voice he heard."
"It's not a bad idea,” Yakov said. “Only he is a
dangerous man, even if he was recently raised from the dead."
"Just take his soulstone,” Fyodor said.
"Won't work. How will you talk to it? Through a
medium?"
"Maybe put it into something else,” Fyodor said. “A rat maybe."
"They can't talk either,” Galina observed.
"Oh, fuck me.” Fyodor slammed his palm on the
table. “Just trying to help here."
"If you want to help, come along,” Galina said.
Fyodor made a face. “I do what I can. I didn't have to
lead you here, you know."
"Enough bickering,” Sovin said. “Zemun and
Koschey will figure something out."
They found everyone at the Pub. Galina wondered to
herself if anyone ever went home, or if they sat behind the wooden tables,
upright and silent in the darkness, all night long.
"I'm leaving to go across the river,” Galina told
Zemun. “I'll need someone to come along."
"We'll find someone,” Zemun promised. “But we
also thought that we need to mount an expedition to the surface."
Galina saw her point, but the thought made her unease
flare up. If Sergey was telling the truth-and she had no reason to doubt his
veracity-then who knew what his former friends were up to. A vision of the
empty city came to her mind, deserted streets with garbage blown across the
pavements, flocks of birds studding the power lines and turning the sky black;
she imagined them watching from the roofs, looking through the windows of their
former residences, longing for the lives they had been forced to abandon. She
thought of her mother, an old grey crow, and Masha's baby-it would be just a
hatchling, unable to fly on its own.
And what of her grandmother, locked in the hospital,
among the walls covered with cracking, piss-colored paint? What of the old
woman alone, her wrinkles flowing around her eyes and mouth in a fluid pattern,
sitting on a hospital bed, wondering dimly why no one comes to visit her
anymore, not even her daughter-didn't she have a daughter? She remembers
pigtails and cheap patterned dresses, she remembers mending white bobby socks,
but the girls all blur together, daughter, granddaughters, nieces, grandnieces,
extended family and friends; she could never remember Galina's name, and always
tried a few others first.
Galina pitied the old woman in that abstract way one
reserves for the old-a general pity for decrepitude and decline, recognition of
one's inevitable fate in another. She pitied the old women who timidly waited
by the benches where young people laughed and drank beer, until there was no
one
around so they could
quickly snatch the empty bottles and turn them in at the recycling centers for
pennies each, but they added up to enough for a bottle of milk and some cheap
fish for the cat, they added to the destitute existence on government pensions
that remained the same as the prices doubled, tripled, and quadrupled in a
single day. She pitied the old men who pinned their medals to the threadbare
jackets to hide holes on their lapels and who grew thinner by the day.
Most of all she pitied the chronically ill, confused,
broken, incapable of taking care of themselves, stuffed into hospitals four or
five to a room. She used to visit her grandmother in the beginning, when they
still expected her to come home. As it became clear that she was there forever,
Galina stopped, unable to face her guilt. Now, she wondered if the old people
would turn into birds too, or if they would still sit in the hospital,
forgotten, abandoned, wondering at first why there was no lunch, and then
simply accepting it as they accepted all the unfathomable but ultimately cruel
turns of life.
Yakov, Zemun, and Koschey conferred, with Sovin and
David listening closely but not saying a word. Fyodor wandered around the Pub,
looking for something-the gypsy girl he seemed so taken with yesterday, Galina
assumed.
"Excuse me."
She turned to see the Medieval Tatar-Mongol warrior. She
had to look down on him; not only was he quite short, but also his bandy legs
detracted from his already unimpressive height. The hem of his long felt coat
brushed the floor, almost concealing his soft-soled boots.
"Yes?” she said.
"My name is Timur-Bey. I heard about your
sister,” he said. “I am sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"You can come with me,” Galina said. “But why? Everyone here seems to want to stay, not go
traipsing through Berendey's woods."
His expressionless narrow eyes looked up into hers.
Galina realized that the man in front of her was very, very old-five hundred
years? Six? “Redemption,” he said. “I have yet to
atone for my crimes."
"You mean the Golden Horde?"
He shrugged. “We did what we had to. But there are
cruelties I've done without compulsion."
Galina smiled. “My name's Galina,” she said. “I do
appreciate your help, whatever it is you think you've done wrong."
He gave a curt nod, tossing the long sleek braid of
black hair shot through with a few silver threads over his shoulder. Galina
thought that he looked just like the Tatar champion on the famous painting
depicting the battle at Kulikovo Field-only the copper helm and armor were
missing. She imagined the small man armed, battling the Russian champion, a giant
monk named Peresvet. The image was almost comical, and she shook her head. It
was a long time ago; still, her own slightly slanted eyes and cheekbones
sweeping up like wings were the heritage of the Golden Horde's occupation. The
marks that Masha had avoided somehow, with her button nose and wide gray eyes.
Masha, she reminded herself. She mustn't be distracted; she mustn't try and
learn everyone's story, see how they all fitted together; it didn't matter how
history had abused or forgotten these people. They won no wars, they showed no
valor; the winners didn't spare them a second thought, and neither should
she. Masha was her only concern,
her sister was her only obligation.
* * * *
Soon it was time to go. Galina, Yakov, Zemun,
Timur-Bey and Koschey were to go to the river, which, so Zemun asserted, was
less than a day away. David packed them a parcel with bread, beer and some dry
fruit. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn't have any fresh ones-without Berendey around,
there's no one here to bring sunlight to my garden."
"Don't worry about it,” Galina said. “But have
you seen Elena?"
He nodded. “She left this morning. Said she wanted to
talk to the rusalki and the vodyanoys about something. Don't worry, I'll tell
you when she gets back, and maybe she'll send you a message with one of her
watery friends. Look for them when you get to the river-it's crawling with all
sorts of water spirits, and they sure do talk."
"Thank you,” Galina said.
Yakov took the parcel from David. “We'll be back
soon,” he said.
David nodded. “Just be careful there, grandson.” He
got the word out with some effort, as if he was still getting used to it.
"Of course,” Yakov said. “It's not like anything
can go wrong there, right?"
David shrugged. “It's not a safe place,” he said.
“There's no such thing as a safe place. Like there's no such thing as a good
czar, no matter how much people want to believe it."
"What are we going to do about Sergey?” Galina
asked Zemun.
"We took care of him last night,” she said. “He's
coming with us, but Koschey made him harmless.” Her large soulful eyes flicked
to Koschey, and he dug in the pockets of his jacket and extracted a large
albino rook; its wings were clipped, and its eyes flashed with indignation.
“Fuck you,” it screeched.
"Now, now,” Koschey said. “I told you it was
temporary. And honestly, dear boy, you should be happy you got resurrected
instead of rotting in that river, with eels slithering in your eye sockets. So
you'll be a bird for a bit; enjoy the new perspective it affords you, hm?"
"Did you put the soulstone into that bird?”
Galina said.
Koschey nodded. “I promised I would free his soul from
its glass confines eventually, but for now I prefer him-portable."
"Don't piss me off,” the rook Sergey threatened.
"Or what?” Koschey's bony finger wagged in front of the bird's
beak.
The rook made an unsuccessful attempt at pecking it.
“I have friends,” it said.
Koschey chuckled-an unpleasant sound with the
consistency of scratching fingernails. “No, you don't. They killed you,
remember? Your only hope now is to behave and help us, and if you do well, you
might yet live again as a person.” Koschey stuffed the agitated bird back into
his pocket.
"Everyone ready?” Zemun said. “Let's go then."
Zemun led the way, and Galina thought it difficult to
take their expedition seriously, as long as they were led by a large
gleaming-white cow, whose udders swayed in rhythm with her energetic step. She
also considered whether the talking intelligent animals needed to wear
clothes-Zemun appeared
naked to her, somehow.
Yakov and Koschey followed, and Galina and Timur-Bey
brought up the rear. It felt like a school trip, and Galina had to restrain
herself from trying to hold hands with Timur-Bey; despite his diminutive
stature, he appeared quite formidable. Besides, Galina thought, he had never
been herded with a group of other children to a museum or an exhibition of the
country's agricultural prowess. It was frustrating, thinking of that man and
realizing that they had never shared an experience; was it possible to be so
remote in time and circumstance that there was simply no overlap?
"I don't like the grass here,” Timur-Bey said.
“It's so white and wet. You know what grass should be like? Golden and dry, and
it should whisper in the wind, run in waves, part before a running horse like a
beaded curtain. It should smell of sun and wormwood and wild thyme. Have you
ever seen the steppes?"
"Not really,” Galina said. “Only in the Crimea; I
went there when I was little. But I remember the smell of wild thyme-on hot days, it was so strong it made my head swim."
"It does that,” Timur-Bey agreed. “I lived most
of my life there."
"When were you-living?” Galina cringed, but could
think of no tactful way to ask this question.
"Under Uzbeg-Khan,” he said. “He started his
reign in 1312, when I was a child."
She nodded. “Forgive me for asking this, but did you
find that the people here, underground, were all right with you? They didn't
hold a grudge?"
He gave a short laugh. “Not against Uzbeg-Khan they
didn't. He was allies with Muscovy, didn't you know that? Muscovites and Tatars
fought against Tver together."
Galina decided to change the subject-she did not want
to exhibit her ignorance of the finer points of history, as well as suspecting
that the history in question was rather unsavory. It shouldn't make any
difference to me, she thought; and yet the thought of her city allying with the
invaders for whatever purpose bothered her, even it happened over six hundred
years ago. “What brought you here then?” she said. “Were you at Muscovy?"
He nodded. “I fled there, after the rebellion against
Uzbeg-Khan was suppressed. He changed the religion of our ancestors to Islam,
which I and a few other generals could not abide. How could
we abandon the voices of the spirits, how could we betray the living steppe
that whispered to us?"
Timur-Bey had three wives, but he loved the steppe
better than any of them. He came out of his ger every morning and smiled at the
golden waves that stretched from the camp to the horizon. He remained in the
remote outpost even though his position among the Khan's foremost military
advisors often required travel to Sarai Batu; he could not bear being away for
long. He participated in enough military expeditions as it was. He was there to
suppress the uprising of the Tver princes; he was there when the treaty with
Muscovy was signed.
Uzbeg-Khan had done much to unite the warring tribes;
the only trouble was, he wanted to abandon the religion Timur-Bey knew in his
heart was true-not out of fervor or divine inspiration, but because the grass
and the sky and his horse, a sturdy bay pony, spoke to him in many voices. He
never set his dirty foot into a clean stream, afraid of offending the water
spirits.
For several years he struggled with the new faith, but
in the end he decided to leave.
"The trouble is,” he told Galina,
“is that it was not easy to leave the Golden Horde. It was so big-how do you
leave the world?” He smiled but his eyes remained sad. “The Muscovites were our
allies, and they were a dependency, not a real part of us. So I went
there."
"How long did you last?"
He shrugged. “Not long."
"I'm sorry."
"But can you blame the sheep if the wolf who
stole their young in the night, who demanded the very fleece off their backs,
if that wolf came among them and said, ‘I have changed, I now want to live
among you as a brother'? Can you blame the sheep when the wolf said, ‘I will
not eat your food or worship your God, but I want you to accept me'? Can you
blame the sheep?"
"I can't,” Galina said. “Although
I do not like the sheep comparison."
He bowed his head. “I sought not to offend. But you're
right; judging by some of my friends, the metaphor is deficient. There were as
many wolves among your own people, and the sheep were ready to riot."
"Who do you mean?"
"There is a man who used to be an Oprichnik,”
Timur-Bey said.
Galina hugged her shoulders, fighting the chill this
word-so old, almost meaningless now-brought with it. She thought of the Ivan
the Terrible's army, the brooms and the dog heads with red tongues and milky
dead eyes tied to their saddles. When they studied them in history class, she
had screaming nightmares where they chased after her, the maws of the dead dogs
slavering.
Timur-Bey watched her from under heavy eyelids. “It's
a terrible thing,” he said. “The evil doesn't die, no matter how much you atone
for it. The old evil is always fresh-four hundred years? Six?
What does it matter?"
"People should be able to forget,” she answered.
“Things that happened so long ago-it's meaningless. Where would we be if we
forever hated those who did something wrong? Russians would still hate Tatars,
Jews would hate Russians-"
"You mean they don't now?” Timur-Bey interrupted.
“And you're still bothered to think about Oprichniks."
She nodded. “I'm just surprised,” she said. “I
wouldn't think to find one here. I mean, why did they let him in?"
"Why did they let you in, whoever they may be?”
Timur-Bey shook his head, his braid swishing across his back, back and forth.
“Virtue has nothing to do with it. Only those who are damaged enough can find
this place; I wish I could tell you that suffering makes people better."
"I know it doesn't,” Galina said. “It's just…"
"You wish it did."
"It would make sense, wouldn't it? Otherwise,
there's no meaning."
"But there is a chance of redemption,” Timur-Bey
said. “And that's all one can ask for, isn't
it?"
11: The Boatman
Yakov had never seen a river like this. Black as soot, with a quiet matte surface, rippling slightly as if
tremendous pressure had been building underneath. Thin wisps of fog
floated over the dead river, moving with a will of their own, twisting like
ribbons and then unwinding; they dipped closer to the surface and drifted up,
coalesced into a massive formidable cloud and broke apart again in an endless
hypnotic dance, and Yakov could not decide whether he was more disturbed by the
apparent life of the fog or its mindless stereopathy.
The bank was devoid of any vegetation; not even the glowtrees dared to colonize the barren black basalt of
the embankment, natural or artificial, Yakov wasn't sure. Even the pale
grass recoiled from the black, slow water and the living mist roiling above it.
"How do we cross?” Yakov asked Zemun.
The cow looked at the river thoughtfully. “We wait for
the boatman."
Yakov glanced at Galina over his shoulder. “Did you
hear that?"
She nodded. “I told you there was a Styx down here
somewhere. We should've taken Fyodor and his coin with us."
"How long until the boatman
shows up?” Yakov said.
Koschey shrugged. “Whenever he damn
well pleases. Takes his time, that boatman."
"David said Elena might send us a message,”
Galina said. “With some rusalka or vodyanoy."
"And this will further our search how?” Koschey
said.
"It won't hinder it either,” Zemun said.
Yakov watched the fog, hoping that a boat would appear
out of it, gliding across the sooty surface, steered by a tall man on the
stern, a long pole in his withered hands-he shook his head to dispel the
vision. “Why did you think there would be a river?” he whispered to Galina.
“How did you know?"
She shrugged. “There's always a river in the
underworld. Or at least a bridge."
Yakov left her to talk to the Tatar-Mongol, and sat
down on the bank, half-annoyed, half-relieved that he was left alone for a bit
longer.
Yakov wasn't always like this, defeated in advance,
dutiful out of habit. He once was a rose-cheeked youth fresh out of school who
had wanted to be a policeman since he was a little kid, even though he didn't
remember that the original inspiration and desire for the grey and light-blue
uniform came from a rhymed illustrated children's book about a very tall
policeman who had the ability to rescue cats from tall trees without any need
for ladders or cherry-pickers.
He also was once a lover and a husband, an optimist;
he looked to the future with his wife Tamara, a girl as pink and light-haired
as he was, who worked at a textile factory and shared a small apartment with
her alcoholic father and long-suffering mother, of whom Yakov only remembered
that she had the most spectacular dark circles around her eyes that he had ever
had the misfortune to
observe.
They courted and married, and moved in with Yakov's
mother, whom Tamara seemed to like more than her own, even if they did argue
occasionally about insignificant things; Yakov had the feeling that both had a
slight embarrassment about getting along so well, and engaged in perfunctory
conflict (usually soup-related) superstitiously, to ward off the demons of
serious fights.
Yakov did not like to think of that time; he both
resented his wide-eyed idiocy and regretted losing it. He hated himself for
changing, yet could not see how he could've avoided it. He still remembered
Tamara's face, but only because his mother refused to take their wedding
picture off the wall where it hung next to an icon of St Georgiy. He could
never understand why his mother was so partial to the patron saint of this
city, dragon or no dragon. Yakov was especially unimpressed because the dragon
on the icon was puny, the size of a large dog, and wingless. His eyes usually
lingered on the dragon, reluctant to move to the left and look at the glowing
pink face of Tamara surrounded by the cloud of white veil. He always looked
eventually.
It was easier to think about that time now, on the
solid basalt shores of the dead river, under the watchful thoughtful gaze of
the celestial cow who claimed to have made the Milky Way; it was easier to
believe in the magical cow than in his own capacity for happiness. Koschey the
Deathless sat on the bank, cross-legged, teasing the soul of a criminal trapped
in the portly smooth body of a white rook. Galina and the Tatar-Mongol argued
about the nature of memory, and whether it was possible to forgive a trespass
without having to forget it.
The water by the riverbank bubbled up, and a small
scale-covered vodyanoy surfaced and swam ashore with an awkward breaststroke.
Its seaweed hair fanned out in the water like a halo, and its webbed hands,
green and speckled with large triangular scales, splashed the pitch-black
water. It clambered up on the bank, and its large bug eyes searched their
faces.
"Did Elena send you?” Galina said.
The little vodyanoy nodded shyly, and dug through the
festoons of algae decorating its body to produce a crumpled and wet note
covered in black swirls of river water, but otherwise undamaged. Galina thanked
him and unrolled the note.
"What does it say?” Zemun asked and attempted to
fit her large head under Galina's elbow to take a better look.
"That she is considering sending Fyodor, Viy, and
Oksana to the surface. She also says to be careful."
"Oh, great idea,” Koschey said. “I'll bet you
fleshbags didn't even think of that."
"You're not as invulnerable as you think,” the
rook Sergey said. “I know where your death is."
"So do I,” Yakov said.
The rook gave him a haughty look. “Did you ever watch
‘Visiting the Fairytales'?"
"Yeah,” Yakov admitted. “Every Saturday morning…
or was it Sunday?"
"Sunday,” Sergey said. “We had school Saturday. Didn't know cops fancied that sort of thing."
"I was ten,” Yakov said, but found himself smiling. “I think they mostly showed movies from the
forties and fifties."
"Those fairytales were disguised
Communist propaganda,” the rook said.
Yakov stopped smiling. “I don't think so."
"You're so naïve,” the rook said. “They
brainwashed you, and you don't even know. This is why you're a cop."
Yakov just shrugged. He didn't like it when people he
had just met somehow developed the illusion of knowing him better than he did.
"Where's that boatman?” he said to Zemun.
Instead of another vague answer enticing him to
patience and waiting just a bit more, Zemun pointed silently with her hoof.
Through the fog that for a change remained stationary like a curtain, Yakov saw
a shadow and heard weak slurping sounds.
The little vodyanoy shrieked and dove into the river,
disappearing like a stone.
"What got into him?” Galina asked, and a vertical
wrinkle settled between her dark eyebrows.
"He's worried that the boatman will collect from
him,” Koschey said. “Stupid thing. The boatman doesn't
care about spirits and gods and those who've already paid. He only takes from
fleshbags, and this one,” Koschey pointed at the rook perching sullenly on his
shoulder, “this one is already dead. I guess that leaves you two."
Yakov and Galina traded an uncomfortable look. “What
is it that he takes?” Yakov said. “And why didn't anyone tell us?"
"You'll find out soon enough,” Koschey answered
and smirked. “Maybe that'll teach you to blab about where people might want to
keep their death."
"I traveled across the river once,” Timur-Bey
said. “He takes memories, nothing else."
Yakov wanted to know more-what sort of memories and
why-but the narrow boat made of grey wood touched the bank. The old man looked
over them, at the meadows and forests they left behind. “Come aboard,” he said
in the indifferent sing-song voice of a merchant, “come aboard, one memory per
party, buys a round-trip."
"What memories do you take?” Galina said.
"The precious ones, the ones you'll miss and
wonder day and night what it is you have forgotten,” the boatman said. “You're
paying?"
"I am,” Yakov said. “I don't think I'll miss any
of mine."
The boatman's deeply set eyes looked at him out of his
creased leathery face. Thin wisps of white hair blew in the wind and mingled
with the fog, indistinguishable from it.
Yakov felt an uncomfortable presence inside, as though
the boatman's bony hand reached into him and sifted through the contents of his
soul panning for gold nuggets.
"This will do,” he finally said. Yakov felt a
twinge when something in him tore loose. “You want to think it one last
time?"
Yakov shook his head. “Just take it,” he said, and
closed his eyes.
* * * *
The boatman's vision teemed with so many memories, so
many visions, but this new one was a welcome addition. It had a complex
bouquet-a hint of habitual misery provided a weakly bitter background to
red-hot rage and feeling of helplessness that buckled the boatman's knees and
made him want to forget his immediate task. The pole dug into the silty bottom,
pushed away, heaved up in a familiar movement that let him concentrate on
savoring his new acquisition. Good choice, he thought, good choice. Not exactly
original but nonetheless exciting. Intense. Sadness so
profound, his dead heart felt crimson and heavy, like a Persian rose dripping
with honey and dew.
Divorce, a slow melancholy regret, swirled
milky-white, obscuring the pulsing black hole in the center of the memory. The
boatman marveled that there were no names here, nothing was alluded
to directly-just oblique hints and sideway glances that people used to hide the
pain from themselves, to swathe it in many gauzy layers of circumstance and irrelevant
detail. Shivering with anticipation, the boatman pulled them back, like
bandages from a wound, cringing at the inevitable febrile blooming of a
gangrenous flower.
And there it was. Swaddling cloth,
blue blanket with yellow ducklings and red-and-green watermelons, a swirl of
downy white hair, going clockwise around the summit of a tiny skull.
Wonder, the same in every adult, at how small the fingers and toes were, how
diminutive the nails like small pink shells one finds on the sandy beaches of
the Baltic. How small and how human and how alive-the mind refused to believe
it. And accepting it (him) as your own seemed beyond the realm of possibility.
The boatman marveled briefly at Yakov's skill at
self-deception-this memory had been buried so deep under heaps of irrelevant
debris that the boatman almost overlooked it. He never tired of the novelty, of
these strange nuggets of pain and joy he extracted so carefully, so lovingly
from the souls that came to the banks of his river; he could not understand why
they tried so desperately to hide them.
He rolled the image of the baby, of its squeezed-shut
eyes and balled-up fists, in his mind, like a child turning a piece of hard
candy on his tongue, savoring its unique scent and texture. And then the infant
disappeared, just like that, leaving in its place a balled-up blanket with red-and-green watermelons and yellow ducklings, and the
boatman could not understand where it went. He rifled through the memory,
turning bits and images over like wilting petals, looking, searching for
answers but finding only one veil after another, one discarded wrapper after
the next, and only ash, ash in between.
He finally looked outside of himself, at the people
crouching at the bottom of the boat. Yakov, the light-haired man who footed the
bill a few minutes ago, sat with his head cradled in his arms, and the woman
sat next to him, patting his shoulder in a weak gesture of support. “Come on,”
she kept repeating. “It can't be that bad. Can it?"
The man just shook his head and looked up with
tormented eyes.
"I'm sorry,” the woman said. “Can I do
anything?"
"No,” he said.
The boatman had collected his fee; he knew he had no
right to ask for more. But his curiosity had gotten the best of him. He let the
pole trail in the black water behind the stern. “What happened to the child?”
he asked Yakov.
"What child?” he whispered.
"Don't play with me,” the boatman said. “You know
what I've taken.” The memories he
extracted were not gone; they just lost the emotional meaning,
but the facts, their empty exoskeletons, remained.
"I don't have to tell you
anything,” Yakov said, petulant.
“Leave me alone."
The boatman returned to the contemplation of his new
memory. It was unlike any other, so small and yet so distorted and twisted. He ran
through its labyrinth, untwisting every snag and dead end, every turn and
hidden corner. He was good at it-he had been feeding on their memories ever
since they first started coming here, and he could not remember what he used to
do before then; the memories taken from others had subsumed his own.
He thought of the American dancer, her memories
swathed in unfamiliar language; he only recognized the images of her surrounded
by several children (her own? Someone else's?) trembling in the snowy night, by the black pier in some
strange port, where the dark sea water was fringed with ice, and floes rubbed
against each other with a slow, grating sound. He remembered the stage and the
tense faces of the audience, and the red drapes, swirling in her field of vision
as she swirled, arms outstretched, for eternity. She remembered the face of a
yellow-haired man, once handsome but now wrecked by hard drink and late nights,
and the same face later a smoldering ruin shattered by a pistol shot. These
images stood as signifiers of mystery, unexplained but precious all the same.
The boatman wondered if it was a sickness, this
compulsion for the taste of other people's memories. He wondered if he could
take something else as his payment, perhaps food or money, or if he should just
take them across for free. He did not enjoy inflicting pain; in fact, he used
to believe that he was helping them, taking away the emotional torment and
intensity of unfulfilled desires. He used to think that he was doing good.
No matter how much their memories tormented them, they
suffered even more when these memories were removed-like wounds left by
splinters, they festered and grew inflamed, and one had to wonder if they were
better off with all their splinters and warts. They became a part of them,
developed from foreign bodies into integral parts of the souls. He could never
understand that, but he could not stop either, compelled into removing and
absorbing every painful nugget, so it could become a part of him, so he could
feel real just for a little while longer.
* * * *
The boat touched the opposite bank, as deserted and
stony and black as the one they had just left-it felt like ages ago to Yakov,
though he knew that only a few minutes had passed. He climbed onto the bank on
awkward wooden legs, and stretched. Galina stood by him, silent but exuding
sympathy and guilt. “It's all right,” he told her. “It's not your fault."
Zemun clambered out of the boat, her hooves sliding on
the wet rocks of the embankment. Koschey and Timur-Bey followed,
both avoiding stepping into the black water.
Ahead of them there was a forest-Berendey's forest,
and Yakov immediately guessed that this was where Father Frost spent his days.
The trees and branches were covered in snow, festooned with icicles, gleaming
with rime. Berendey's Forest had real trees for a
change-Yakov recognized white and black-speckled trunks of birches, the
slender branches of willows, the tall high-strung groups of quaking aspens.
There were sturdy oaks and grey-barked ashes, red maples that swept upward with
the grace of dancing girls, dense green paws of spruces, the haughty grandeur
of pines… he didn't realize how much he had missed them.
"It's winter here,” Galina whispered. “Do you
think it's winter on the surface?"
"Don't be silly, we've been here just three
days,” Yakov answered.
"What if time passes differently here?"
"Then there isn't much we can do about it, is
there?” he said with rising irritation.
"I guess not,” she said, and fell back, next to
Zemun.
They entered the forest, and despite Yakov's current
upset he felt like a kid who had stumbled into a real fairytale. Despite the
frozen trees, the air was only slightly cooler than elsewhere underground, and
the ghost of the sun shone above, lighting the hoarfrost on every surface with
a prismatic glitter of blues, reds and yellows. The delicate tracery of the
frost formed flowers and fantastic animals and they wound like magical canvas
around every trunk.
Carefully tended paths meandered between the trees,
and Yakov realized with a sting of embarrassment that he was looking for
woodland creatures that usually hung out in Berendey's Forest, at least
according to the movies. He noticed a white hare darting away among the trees
and the heavy horned head of a moose peering between the spruce branches.
"Can I borrow your rook for a sec?” Yakov asked
Koschey.
"Knock yourself out,” Koschey answered, and
extracted the rook Sergey from his pocket. “Just don't let him get away."
"Where do you think I'm gonna go?” Sergey said,
and fluffed his feathers. “God, it's cold here."
"It's not bad,” Yakov said, and carefully placed
Sergey on his shoulder. “Does it look like you would expect?"
The rook blinked in the bright light and looked around
with his red eyes. “It looks like a movie set."
"Except that it's real."
"Or so you think."
Yakov briefly considered stuffing the
rook into his pocket, but decided to give him another chance. “Do you remember
how to find Berendey?"
"Find him? I've only seen him in the movies. There's
a scene change, a cutaway, and then he appears. I guess we wait for a
cutaway."
Yakov just shook his head.
"He's right, actually,” Zemun said behind him.
“Berendey knows what happens in his forest, and if there are any trespassers he
won't be long."
They continued walking along the paths because it was
pleasant, and the forest was so pretty it seemed a shame to leave it unexplored
while one had a chance.
"How old are you?” Yakov asked Sergey.
"Twenty-five,” he answered. “You?"
"Thirty. I was just thinking… what was your
favorite ice-cream when you were a kid?"
The rook squawked a laugh. “Remember the one in wafer
cones, with a crème rose on top?"
"That was my favorite too. Remember those little
chocolate-covered cheesecakes they used to have? I could live on that
stuff."
"Me too,” Sergey agreed. “Funny how good the food
was when we were kids. Now everything tastes like shit. I wonder if it's
because it's all imported and comes from a can, or if it's just how memory
works?"
Yakov shrugged. “A bit of both, I suppose. And not all
the food is shit. Imported chicken is pretty good."
Sergey made a contemptuous noise deep in his bird
throat. “Humanitarian help? They call them Bush's
legs."
"So I heard."
"Those chickens are fucking monsters. What do
they feed them in America?"
"I don't know,” Yakov said. Still, he felt closer
to Sergey, another shared experience, as meaningless as it was, somehow making
them alike. He did not like the feeling-Sergey was a criminal and a lost soul,
wedged temporarily into the body of a fat white bird. He was nothing like
Yakov, and not a person Yakov wanted to be friends with.
Yakov looked ahead; the crystal light and the magical
forest were growing habitual, and he wondered why Berendey hadn't apprehended
them yet; then he remembered the rumors of his disappearance, and his mood
darkened. He started to think that they could spend an eternity wandering
through this forest, and doubted if they would be able to find their way back.
"Look!” Galina said behind him, and Sergey
flapped his wings in excitement.
A dark cloud coalesced over the trees, and the sounds
of cawing and hooting filled the air. Black birds, brown
birds, gray birds. Yakov had never seen that many birds together-they
obscured the sky as far as the eye could see. “Where did they come from?” Yakov
said.
"I don't know,” Koschey said, “but I'm more
concerned with what they're doing."
The birds, despite their immense
numbers, seemed to home in on a particular spot, just ahead, where they circled
restlessly and cried.
They rushed through the wood, trees growing sparse as
they approached a clearing.
"It's like a picture book,” Galina said. Yakov
agreed inwardly; the house in the clearing, a trim cabin built of even reddish
logs, with a thatched roof and a chimney from which curly white smoke rose,
wouldn't be out of place in a fairytale, as a peaceful dwelling of a virtuous
woodcutter or some other benign but slightly misanthropic character. The roof
and the porch and the banister running along three steps leading to the front
door were grey and black with sitting birds.
Sergey stiffened on Yakov's shoulder.
"Relax,” Yakov murmured. “They don't know who you
are. They might not even be the same birds."
"Of course they are,” Galina said. She pushed him
aside and ran up the steps. “Masha?” she asked every jackdaw in sight. They
looked back with their shiny, black eyes, their heads with a little tuft of
feathers tilted to their shoulders, but none answered the call.
Zemun and Koschey approached the closed door, and
Koschey tugged on the handle. “Locked,” he said.
"Maybe he isn't here,” Zemun said.
Timur-Bey shook his head. “Dear Celestial Cow,” he
said. “We cannot leave without seeing if Berendey is inside. I do not know
about your kinds of gods, but the spirits of my ancestors tell me that gods are
mortal. We have to see, and if you permit I'll be glad to kick the door
in."
"Let's knock again,” Yakov said. “Maybe he didn't
hear us the first time.” He didn't mention the thought that started bothering
him the moment he'd seen the birds: what if Berendey was the entity Sergey
overheard conspiring with Slava? He certainly seemed to be one of the very few
underground inhabitants who visited the surface frequently to steal sunlight; he
had the opportunity, and Yakov's experience taught him that opportunity often
outweighed any motive.
Timur-Bey smirked. “I know what you people say. ‘An
uninvited guest is worse than a Tatar', right?"
"It's just a saying.” Galina gave a sheepish
smile.
This smile irritated Yakov-it reminded him of his
ex-wife, of her constant desire to pacify and dampen any disagreement, smooth
out the wrinkles on the surface no matter what resentment brewed inside. He
turned to face Timur-Bey. “Yeah. Would you prefer we
said that an uninvited visitor is better than a Tatar?"
To his surprise, Timur-Bey laughed, showing small
uneven and very white teeth. “I see your point, although I still doubt the
compulsion of such comparisons. Go ahead, knock."
Yakov did, and for a few minutes all of them-people,
birds, the cow-listened for any sound inside the
house. There was none; Yakov thought that he heard a faint buzzing, but there
was no way of deciding where it originated, and whether it was just an artifact
of the ear straining to hear something-anything at all.
After a while, Yakov nodded to Timur-Bey. “On three."
He counted to three, and his and
Timur-Bey's shoulders made a shuddering impact with the sturdy door. It gave on
the second try-the wood by the jamb splintered and the door fell halfway in,
hanging by the still-locked deadbolt.
Inside, the house smelled of wood shavings and pine
resin, of sun and hay. The birds poured in through the open door, as if
compelled by some invisible force.
"Hello?” Yakov called through the roomy entrance
hall and into a darkened corridor.
There was no answer, and he motioned for everyone to
remain where they were. He had never carried a gun in his life, but now he
wished he had one on him, as he moved through the corridor, his left shoulder
brushing against the wall, and kicked open the door on his left. It was a
kitchen, judging from the well-polished copper pots, and he wondered briefly
why spirits and demigods even needed a kitchen. The recently swept floors
smelled of fresh pine, and the pot-bellied woodstove stood clean, not a speck
of ash in its roomy interior; neatly split fire logs were stacked in a corner,
just waiting for someone to start the fire with the long curls of dry birch
bark piled by the stove.
The birds that now filled the hallway and the corridor
avoided the kitchen and instead mobbed the door at the end of the corridor;
they flapped their wings and threw themselves against the locked door and fell
to the floor, only to take wing again. Wave after a black wave crashed against
the door, and Yakov had to push his way through them, wings beating against his
face. Sergey's claws dug into his shoulder, as if he were afraid that the
insanity of the birds around them would take possession of his bird body and
fling him against the locked door in a mindless attack.
Yakov pushed through the squawking and the fluttering,
soft downy feathers of an owl's wing brushing against his cheek in an almost
tender gesture. It was a barn owl, and he remembered the girl Darya in the
long-ago, her small and dusky apartment with the railroad just outside her
window… the same railroad, he realized, that passed by his house, the same
railroad that conveyed the glass granules-soul-stones-to the glass factory. He
shook his head-he was stalling, reluctant to open the door, fearful of what
might be inside.
He put his shoulder to the wood, and the feeble lock
gave on the first try. It was a bedroom, filled with soft light filtered
through the closed curtains; the bed, decorated with a surprising mound of
decorative pillows, was covered with a white feather duvet, and a shiny, brassy
chamber pot peeked from under it. St Nikolay and St Georgiy (and his ubiquitous
lizard) peered from the icons on the wall with wizened dark eyes. And on the
floor, parallel to the bed, a dead body lay stretched out as if in sleep. Dark
blood pooled around it, dripping across the broad chest dressed in a
mossy-green caftan from a wound over the dead man's heart; a bayonet protruded
from it, and although he was no expert, Yakov recognized that the bayonet was
old.
"This is a Napoleonic war weapon,” Sergey said
from his shoulder helpfully. “You might want to get it before these birds swarm
him."
Yakov nodded. The birds, granted access, flitted
inside in an almost comically solemn procession. They settled on the floor, on
the dead man's wrinkled, kind face, on his white beard that fanned across the
chest and turned red in places; they lit on his green cap and his red calloused
hands lying palms up on the floor, on the pointy toes of his boots and along
his legs.
There wasn't much left to do, and Yakov called to the
rest of his companions. When they stood in a respectful semicircle by the body
of the dead demigod, Yakov yanked the bayonet out.
Koschey sighed. “I warned him,” he said. “I told him
that one's much better off with one's
death hidden away. I really can't recommend it highly
enough."
"Shove it,” Zemun said with a force unusual for
her. “Show some respect-there weren't that many of us left, and now we are one
fewer."
12: Pogrom
Fyodor spent the whole day with Oksana, the gypsy girl
as he still referred to her in his mind. No matter how he tried to explain how
terrified he was of the gypsies and how it wasn't his fault, she refused to
show any sign of sympathy. It was as if she didn't realize how much effort it
took for him to even talk to her.
This predicament occupied most of his attention-and
Oksana, no matter how much she scoffed, still sought his company, as if
expecting something from him, and her retinue of rats tagged along as they went
for another long walk. They returned at suppertime, to discover that there was
another assembly in progress.
Fyodor felt bitter-after so many years, there finally
was a place where he belonged, where he felt happy, where he didn't have to
claw a living out of the fissures of life, even though even here the ghosts of
his past in the shape of Oksana haunted him. The surface world managed to
intrude, forcing its preoccupations on Fyodor, never letting him be.
He slid behind a table next to Sovin. “What's
happening?"
Sovin moved on the long bench to give him and Oksana a
place to sit. They wedged close together, and Sovin whispered to them,
“Berendey's dead."
"Are they back?"
Sovin shook his head. “They sent a note with a
vodyanoy-one of Elena's pals, I reckon. They said they wanted to follow some
‘lead'. I guess your friend the cop wrote that one."
"He ain't no friend of
mine,” Fyodor said. “I like the cops as little as you do."
Sovin smirked. “That's always been a problem, see?
Can't like the thugs, can't like the law. Just the other day I was talking to
some folks, and you know what? No matter what period you look at, the cops and
the secret police and the thugs all worked together; sometimes you couldn't
even tell them apart."
"Nowadays cops aren't that bad,” Fyodor said.
“Sure, they take bribes… but they're nowhere near the KGB's level of
evil."
"Level of evil,” Sovin repeated. “I like that.
And you're right, I suppose. That Yakov seems like a decent guy, and David's
grandson to boot. He means well; the trouble is, he
tries to work with a fucked-up system."
Zemun was not there to run the meeting, and Elena took
over that role. Fyodor envied her confidence, the way she could just stand and
speak in front of dozens of people and creatures and god-knows-what-elses.
“This is a more dire situation than any of us had
anticipated.” Her clear voice carried through the smoky air, reaching every
table in every tucked-away corner of the pub. Even the little domovois who
usually bustled around with drinks and buckets of sawdust stopped in their
tracks, listening with grave expressions on their small bearded faces.
"The vodyanoys tell me that they
found other things from the surface world in the river-weapons, knives,
handguns. They tell me that there are more soulstones in it everyday, and they
tell me that the rusalki don't go to the surface anymore, even when the moon is
full and they should dance on the embankment. And now we hear that Berendey is
dead."
A whisper traveled over the crowd, like a gust of wind
stirring the grass and falling silent again. Fyodor waited for her to tell them
what they should do-go deeper underground, retreat and run to environs unknown
and unexplored?
"It is clear what we must do,” Elena said. “We
must take the fight to the surface; it wouldn't be the first time and I assure
you that it won't be the last-at least if we are successful."
"What does she mean, not the first time?” Fyodor
whispered. “I thought it was the whole point, to stay as far away from the
surface as possible."
"That is true,” Sovin said. “As long as I had
been here, it was the case. The old ones do meddle, but they're usually subtle.
But I heard about times when the interference was more direct, and even people
got involved."
Fyodor settled, his head resting on his folded arms,
ready to listen to another story.
"What are you looking at me for?” Sovin grumbled.
“Ask them.” He pointed at the table almost hidden from Fyodor behind a corner.
He could only see the dark jacket of a man and the feet of a little girl in
laced-up boots that generously showed her toes in a wide yawn. “Who are they?”
Fyodor asked Oksana.
"Jews,” Oksana said. “Come on, I'll introduce
you. I usually sit with them."
"Why?” Fyodor stood and followed her.
"Because,” she said. “When you have no country,
no one thinks you have a right to be your own people. Like if you have no land
you should have no language either, like it's your fault. Jews and gypsies, and
no one else is like them."
The people at the table-a family it seemed, the men
dressed in long severe jackets, the children in well-worn hand-me-downs, the
women in grey and black-looked at him with dark eyes, and smiled as if
uncertain of his intentions. “This is Fyodor,” Oksana said. “Probably the only
man alive who doesn't know what a pogrom is."
"Have you heard of the Protocols of the Elders of
Zion?” the man with a long beard and a kindly scattering of wrinkles around his
eyes asked him.
"I heard something about them,” he said. “Weren't
they a fake?"
The man sighed. “Has it ever stopped anyone?” he said.
* * * *
They used to live in the Pale of Settlement-the Pale
for short, in the town of Vitebsk. Hershel's family lived in that shtetl for
generations, ever since the Pale was established. They were merchants and
butchers, clerks and occasionally soldiers. They had large families, and were
pious when the circumstances allowed-as a young man, Hershel studied Torah, and
eventually got admitted to the University in Kiev. He came back to Vitebsk as
soon as he graduated, a trained doctor, able to do good work for his community.
He married Rosa soon after. It was 1876; his first son was born in 1877.
In 1881, things had changed. Hershel found it rather
pointless to speculate as to hows and whys, but Alexander the Third, the
successor of Alexander the Second the liberator and all-around good czar, just
had it in for the Jews. Moreover, for reasons unknown, everyone seemed to blame
the Jews for Alexander the Second's assassination. It did not surprise
Hershel-he had lived long enough to know that if there was trouble, sooner or
later the culprit would be found, and the culprit would usually be of Semitic
origin.
The secret police, Okhranka, was never openly
involved; but when the Jewish stores were ransacked all over Vitebsk, Hershel
did not wait for the Black Hundreds to work their way to the private homes and
bodily violence. He decided to move to Moscow, hoping that there, among
millions, they would be hidden from misfortune. They could've converted or
emigrated to the promised shores of America, but, much like Sovin, Hershel did
not believe in emigration-can't run from yourself, he told his wife when she
brought up the possibility, and can't run from your fate.
"Isn't moving to Moscow running?” she asked
skeptically, and stroked the hair of the youngest of their daughters, who clung
to her mother's long skirt.
"No,” Hershel said. “Russia is our home-we're
moving to a different room, but not leaving the house."
Rosa muttered something derogatory about the quality
of the home, and suggested that when a house collapsed it was only wise to step
outside. Hershel pretended not to hear. America was too far, and he was not
convinced that the distant land would be really worth months on the boat. He
looked around his clean, small dining room, its freshly whitewashed walls, and
hated saying goodbye to it. He hated leaving behind the talkative neighbors who had grown quiet and subdued lately, and he
felt guilty for his privilege-as a doctor, he was allowed to leave the Pale.
The world to the east was unknown and terrifying, but so were the steep hills
of Vitebsk and its narrow, twisty streets.
Moscow greeted them with cold and severe frozen stone.
They settled by the river, in a dank and small house. They missed their clean
and dry house in Vitebsk, where despite the overall poverty Hershel had
achieved respect; here, they had to build it all anew. There were few Jews in their
new neighborhood, and Hershel ministered to them and-on occasion-their cows and
horses.
The youngest of his six children was born in the fall
of 1890. The cleansing of Moscow Jews started in 1891.
Their neighbor's house was burned, and Stars of David were
painted up and down the street in ash. They complained to the gendarmes, but
the disinterest of the authorities was palpable. They were advised to convert.
"Perhaps we should,” Hershel told Rosa.
She heaved a sigh and adjusted the baby in her arms, patting
her back. “And what good will that do?"
"We'll have new papers,” Hershel
said.
"Oh, my dear naïve husband,” Rosa replied. “Don't
you know that they don't ask a Jew for his papers before they cave his face in?
And you need to look in the mirror if you think you look like anything but a
Jew."
America was starting to look much more attractive,
especially when half of the Jewish population of Moscow were evicted, most of
them in chains.
There was nothing special about Hershel's family, he
supposed, and thus it did not seem fair that they were the ones who were saved.
He remembered that day clearly-Passover, cold spring, snow still thick on the
ground, but the smell of wet earth grew stronger with every day, telling that
the spring, the true warmth and flowers and sticky first leaves, the pollen in
the air and the fluff of shedding from tall poplars, the smell of sweet linden
blooms, were not far off. It was the time when one dreamt of crocuses blooming
under the snow, of seeds swelling in the dark earth, ready to burst forth with
the fresh energy of new life, of renewal; it was also traditionally the time
when the word ‘Christ-killer’ was heard more frequently than Hershel liked.
"I am a useful Jew,” he told Rosa. “Nothing bad
will happen to us."
She sighed and said nothing, which was in itself an unusual event-Rosa rarely wanted for words.
Hershel supposed that the sight of so many of their people in chains, the
rumors of so many deaths ignored by the police took even her voice away; or
perhaps it was the shame of remaining untouched by the misery, of being
‘useful'. She never called Hershel a traitor, but he suspected that she thought
it, and perhaps more often than she would admit.
"What would you have me do?” he pleaded. “And what of the children?"
She shook her head, still silent and inconsolable, and
left him alone in the dank dining room that still held the smells of the
previous day's Seder, its low ceiling oppressive and dark. Light from the lone
tallow candle flickered and exhaled thin streams of soot, adding to the
deposits darkening the already hopeless dwelling.
That night, as Hershel learned later, the inhabitants
of the underground grew restless, stirred up by the clouds of despair on the
surface and their slow seeping underground. Hershel explained that this was how
it usually went-the prevailing mood of one place reached the other, but the
emanations and their effects were usually weak enough to be masked by the
native emotion and mood. It was only at the times of great tragedy that they
grew disturbing enough to spur the underground dwellers into action.
"I don't get it,” Fyodor interrupted Hershel. “I
mean, no offense, but what was so special about that time? There were plenty of
other tragedies."
"I don't know,” Hershel said. “We all have our
reasons and guesses, but do they matter? Sure, there were other times. But I
guess that time everyone had enough."
Hershel's house stood close enough to the river for
him to be concerned about the spring floods, and in the spring the ice-bound
river was clearly visible between the naked trees; he always worried about the
children-especially his fearless and headstrong firstborn Daniil-playing on
green and uncertain spring ice, where black freezing water could show itself
through a crack like a slow smile at any moment. Hershel always kept an eye on
the river, especially at night, fearful of the children's disobedience and of
the incomprehensible ways of the world.
They came through cracks opening in the
ice, they sprang among the trees. Hershel watched, terrified and yet not
surprised, convinced that the grotesque creatures coming from every surface
cranny, from every fresh snow patch, from every fork in the tree branches, had
something to do with the exodus of his people. He was not wrong-he realized it
when a large vaguely human head protruded through the only glass pane of the
dining room window, without breaking it but instead seemingly originating
within it, and demanded to know where the Jews were.
Hershel found himself at a loss for a proper answer;
instead he just whispered, “Who are you? What do you want?"
The head chewed with its slack-lipped mouth. “I'm a
friend,” it promised. “My name is Pan. We came to take you, to help you."
"Most have left,” Hershel said. “They took them
to the Pale in chains; there is no one but the useful Jews left.” He was
surprised at how much contempt colored his words.
"And these ‘useful Jews’”-the head repeated the
words without grasping their meaning-"they want to stay here? Despite all
the cries and complaints we heard all the way underground?"
"I don't want to stay,” Hershel said. “But where
would we go? There's suffering everywhere, and too much of it to boot. What am
I supposed to do?"
"Find those who want to leave,” the antlered head
advised. “We will come back tomorrow, and we will take you somewhere where your
suffering will be lessened.” The head whistled and disappeared back into the
murky glass, and with it the rest of the apparitions were gone, as if they had
never existed.
This description sounded suspiciously death-like to
Hershel, but he didn't think he had a choice. Finally, a solution that would
mollify Rosa; he called her and the children, and only then realized that
unless they had been looking through the windows in the last ten minutes, they
would have trouble believing his story.
Instead, he told them to knock on the doors of their
neighbors and ask them if they wanted to leave. He didn't say where or why,
only that whatever it was it had to be better than staying here, waiting for
them to outlive their usefulness. Waiting to be killed or converted, waiting
for Konstantin Pobedonostsev to give another one of his speeches, talking about
Russia as the heiress of Constantinople and Byzantium, and Moscow-the third Rome.
Waiting for him once again to remind everyone who killed Christ and who would
never be forgiven for it. Hershel assumed that whoever the horned creature was,
it was not friends with Christ; at that point, it seemed good enough for him.
But not for anyone else. It was his punishment, he supposed, for his former
cowardice and minor but common betrayals. Everyone said that they were fine
where they were, and some threatened to sic the Okhranka on him. Everyone liked
to think that the worst was over, and that they were either important or
inconspicuous enough to survive. Hershel smiled sadly at their self-deception
and felt embarrassed by his conceit-he was not so different from them after
all.
In the end, only Hershel's family wanted to go to the
underground. There was a lesson in this, he supposed-a sad lesson of the sad
state of the land, where the only escape possible was underground, and the only
ones who cared about his life were the pagan deities he didn't even believe in.
Fyodor nodded, mute; he sat next to Oksana who
snuggled against Hershel's and Rosa's youngest daughter, an eternal infant
still in swaddling clothes. The girl babbled happily, and Oksana
laughed. “Isn't she the cutest?” she asked Fyodor.
He shrugged, not willing to debate the issue; he felt
indifferent toward children, especially the ones who didn't talk yet. Instead,
he listened to the voices rising all around him. Distracted by Hershel's story,
he had missed something important, and now he strained to catch up. It seemed
that Elena insisted that a foray to the surface was the best thing they could
do, and the only question was who would lead this expedition. Definitely not
Pan, Elena said. Pan, long-antlered and sad-eyed, sulked in a corner, his goat
legs and human arms crossed in defiance.
It's nothing personal, Viy explained. Last time it was
too chaotic, too disorganized. You just don't chase all your minions to the
surface and make a colorful appearance that practically assures that you'll be
mistaken for a devil or a hallucination. They could've saved more if they'd
only sent someone more human-looking.
"Like you,” Pan said from his corner, to the
general titter of laughter that fell silent as soon as Viy's attendants moved
in with their pitchforks to lift his terrible eyelids.
"Viy does have a point,” Elena agreed,
“especially considering that this is a mission of reconnaissance. We should
send people. How about you, Fyodor?"
Fyodor did not expect that. “Me? Why?"
"Because,” Oksana said. “You came from the
surface recently. And so did I."
"You can take my rats if you wish,” Sovin said.
“I would come too, but-"
"It's all right,” Oksana interrupted. “Really,
you don't have to make excuses. You can just not go."
"Can I do the same?” Fyodor asked.
"No,” Oksana said. “You haven't paid yet."
One had to pay for everything; Fyodor knew as much.
What he didn't realize was that his suffering was trivial, that he was judged
and found lacking. His little dull torments were deemed irrelevant,
affectations of an essentially wealthy soul, deprived of abuse and true sorrow.
He thought it strange to feel so guilty and undeserving, while his entire life
was nothing but bleakness and slow descent to the lowest energy state
imaginable. And what did he get for it? He was about to be thrust back into the
seething gutter he had escaped, only a gypsy girl and a pack of rats for
company and support.
"It's not so bad,” Oksana said and patted his
hand carefully; suddenly, she was the strong and reassuring one, the one in
control. “I'm sure it'll be all right."
"How do we get back to the surface?” Fyodor said.
"I don't know,” Oksana said, and looked
expectantly at Elena.
Elena shrugged and looked at Pan.
Pan scoffed into his beer. “You don't want my help,
you find someone you want."
"I can get you there,” Father Frost said. Even
though he sat quite a long way away, by the bar, his voice boomed, and the top
of his red hat was easy to spot. “As long as you don't mind
an early winter."
Fyodor thought of the bums and beggars,
of the long fluorescent tunnels of underground crossings and subway transfers.
“Not too cold,” he pleaded.
"Not too cold,” Father Frost agreed. “But there
will be snow."
* * * *
It was night, and the moon was appropriately full.
They walked out of the frozen forest-garlands and flowers and wondrous trees of
pure ice, only to look back and see that the forest was just a layer of rime on
a storefront window. Fyodor tilted his face upward, watching large wet
snowflakes sift through low clouds, backlit with silvery moonlight.
"I missed this,” Oksana said, and shivered, her
hands deep in the pockets of her worn jacket with bristling fake fur on the
collar and patches on the elbows. “I really did."
"Me too, I suppose,” Fyodor said. He wondered
briefly if his failure to be moved by the beauty of the snow and an unusually
quiet night-only now he realized that the usual roar of traffic and an
occasional drunken shout were silenced by the thick blanket of falling snow. He
suspected that this inability to feel things like this was some sort of an
inborn defect, and he wished he could do something about it, that he could
learn to feel anything but the persistent fear of gypsies and the world as a
whole.
The rats surrounded them like a dark puddle-they
expanded and collapsed again, pressing close to each other and lifting their
pink feet in turn, to keep them off the snow.
"We better get going,” Oksana said. “They're
cold."
"Where are we going?” Fyodor asked.
"Where can we hide with a pack of rats? The
tabor, I suppose."
Fyodor blew on his fingers. “Do you even know where
they are?"
She shook her head. “It doesn't matter. We can go to
any train station, see if there are gypsies there.” She looked up, at the
skyline. “Kievskiy would be the closest. Let's see who we can find. Or we can
try a park, if you prefer."
Fyodor followed her down the snow-covered street. The
low wind raised brief vortices of snow; they reared up and fell again, weighted
by the heavy thick flakes. Bad skiing weather, Fyodor thought, the snow is too
heavy and wet. It would get stuck to the skis in great heavy clumps.
The rats pressed closer to Oksana's feet, trying to
find cover under her skirt and the heavy hem of the coat. Some grew bold enough
to jump on Fyodor's shoes and squeeze up, under his trouser legs, their fur
surprisingly warm and soft against the skin. With a sigh, he scooped up a few
and put them in his pockets. Others saw it as an invitation and climbed on his
shoulders and under the thick quilted jacket he had borrowed from Sovin, too
long in the sleeves and narrow in the chest.
"They like you,” Oksana said, smiling. The white
snow settled on her black hair, crusting it with a thick translucent crown as
it melted and froze again.
What about you? he wanted to
ask, but could never make his tongue turn to utter these words. It was better
to wonder silently, than to be assured once and forever that his inability to
feel rendered him unlikable; he never tried to ponder the paradox of his
indifference and his intense desire to be liked by someone, even a
gypsy-especially a gypsy.
13: Bird Gamayun
Galina dreamt of Masha again. In her mind, she still
saw a jackdaw, huge and swollen with disease, but with her human arms, full and
smooth just like Galina remembered. “Sister, sister,” Masha cried. “Why won't
you help me?"
"I'm coming for you!” Galina
yelled, and woke with the sound of her voice still ringing in her ears, her
throat hoarse.
She sat up and looked at the frozen forest outside of
Berendey's house window. They had decided to spend the night here, but any
delay grated on Galina, like a hard shoe against tender skin. Every day felt
like a nightmare where she was wading through molasses even though every fiber
of her soul screamed for her to run like the wind.
She had spent all night going from one bird to the
next, all of them still perching around Berendey's dead body which Yakov had
covered with a sheet. Galina looked at every jackdaw, calling her sister's
name, but none of them answered; they just watched her with shining black eyes.
"It's no use,” Koschey said. “Get some sleep; the
morning is wiser than the night."
She couldn't help but smile at the familiar words-in
every fairytale it was true, and the hero woke up to find the impossible task
done. Maybe she would wake up too, and find herself back at home,
with Masha pregnant and safe and sound; even waking in the hospital bed didn't
seem too terrible. To save her sister, she would welcome such an outcome. She
loved her enough to trade her own sanity for Masha's safe return.
The morning came, and she was still in the forest
underground, cramped from sleeping on the floor of Berendey's kitchen. God, she
whispered, I swear to you, if you let Masha be safe, I won't mind spending my
whole life in the hospital and I swear I will never complain.
"Which god are you talking to?” Zemun asked from
the corner where she had slept standing up.
Galina shrugged. “It's stupid, I suppose. Is there a
god who could make it come true?"
Zemun shook her heavy horned head. “I don't know,
dear. We're underground, and we can't go anywhere else. Our time has passed,
and I know nothing of the new gods."
"God,” Galina corrected.
Zemun nodded. “God. I don't
know his power, I don't know who he is. Back in my
days, we could do things. I made the Milky Way-did I tell you this?"
"Yes.” Galina thought for a bit. “Why do you
think Masha wasn't with the birds here?"
"I don't know that either,” Zemun said and heaved
a sigh. Galina could tell she wanted to discuss the Milky Way. “We used to have
many birds here-the Firebird, Gamayun, Alkonost, Sirin…"
"Where did they all go?"
"Flew away, maybe,” Zemun said. “Or died. Or maybe they're still around somewhere."
"There was something I wanted to ask you.” Galina
hesitated a bit, unsure of Zemun would be upset by her
question. “I was wondering about the gods-the major ones, like Yarilo and
Belobog and Svarog-what happened to them?"
"You are correct,” Zemun said. “They were the
real gods. And they were too proud and too important to be exiled. This place
is for those of us who don't mind being small, who can live without being
noticed. Those who are not ashamed to hide. But even
we fade away eventually-you can't be small forever without disappearing."
Galina nodded that she understood. They
heard movement in the other parts of the house, and she guessed that Yakov and
Timur-Bey were up. Koschey didn't sleep at all, or so he claimed-he stayed up
all night, guarding. He wouldn't say why or from whom.
They set out before long. Galina was relieved when
Koschey and Zemun decided not to retrace their steps, but to go further into
the woods, to look for whoever had done the deed-he still had to be on this
side, since the boatman swore that he had taken no one across in quite some
time. And Galina held onto the hope that they would see more of the
dark-colored birds, and somewhere, among them, she would find her sister.
"Tell me about those birds you mentioned,” she
asked Zemun as they picked their way through the melting snow. The first snow
anemones peeked through the melting transparent crust, their white petals and
yellow centers looking at the world shyly. They seemed artificial under the
snow, and Galina stopped to uncover the blooming flowers and thin, delicate
leaves.
Zemun waited for her, chewing patiently. “I suppose I
could,” she said when they resumed their walk. “It'll help pass the time.
Alkonost and Sirin, yes, sisters-and the Firebird-you
probably know about her yourself. But it is Gamayun I think about most."
Galina noticed that Yakov picked up his pace,
straining to catch Zemun's story, and the albino rook on his shoulder listened
too. Galina smiled despite her somber mood-they were all like children, eager
for a good story.
"It all happened a long time ago,” Zemun started.
“When heaven and earth had meaning, when only the dead lived
underground."
* * * *
The bird Gamayun was related to Alkonost and Sirin in
some vague fashion-even the most casual observer would've noticed that all three
of them were not entirely birds; they had the faces and breasts of women,
severe but beautiful. And when their lips opened, they sang in women's voices,
deep and rich and bittersweet.
Alkonost, resplendent in her white feathers, sang of
joy to mortal people, and when they heard her voice, all their cares and
troubles lifted off their shoulders, and the old felt young, the sad rejoiced,
and the tired became refreshed. Alkonost made her home in the Garden of Iriy,
in the branches of the tree that grew with its roots planted in heaven, and its
branches stretching toward the earth. There, she sang to the gods, and
lightened their hearts burdened with the worries inherent in running the world.
Sirin of the dusky-gray feathers and long sweeping
wings sang for the saints and gods and holy men only-if any mortals heard her,
they were so entranced by the beauty of her voice and serene face, they
followed her to their death; some lost consciousness and never regained it,
forever lost in the wonder of their visions. Many said that she lived in Navi,
the kingdom of the dead and the lost. Others maintained that she lived next to
her sister Alkonost, in the branches of the heavenly upside-down oak. Every
night, they sang down the setting sun in a duet so sweet that even the gods
became quiet and contemplative. The songs of joy and sorrow mingled together,
and as the giant flaming sphere of the sun settled for the night's rest, the
heavenly oak itself froze motionless, not a single leaf daring to flutter on
its branches.
But Gamayun, her feathers black as pitch, her face
white and mournful, did not sing, nor did she make her home in Iriy. Damned
with the gift of prophecy, the bird Gamayun flew from one end of the world to
the other, screaming her visions of doom to anyone who would listen. The black
hair on her woman's head streamed in the wind, and her graceful wings beat the
air with heavy strokes; her clawed feet clutched at empty air in a futile
attempt to gain hold of something, like a drowning man who grasped at the
churning water around him, his hopes of feeling anything solid in his fingers
growing more distant and yet more desperate with every second. Such was
Gamayun, her voice loud, harsh and piercing, as she cleaved the skies in her
flight.
Gamayun never rested in the branches of the celestial
oak, she never sang the sun down with Alkonost, and people feared her more than
they feared Sirin. While Sirin promised a certain death, she also promised
pleasure and sweet visions, a quiet contented slide into unconsciousness.
Gamayun's voice only portended disasters, with no hope or consolation, with no
solutions to prevent the foretold doom. She was worse than the One-Eyed Likho,
worse than the blind Zlyden who attached themselves to people and caused misery
and poverty-at least, one could get rid of Likho by luring it into a barrel, or
sweep Zlyden out of one's home, but there was no hiding from Gamayun's
prophecies. Even the gods avoided her once she started promising the end of
their time and a bleak long decline underground. Such was Gamayun's fate.
The prophet bird could not stop, driven by the fire
deep in her heart; her wings never stopped cutting through the air, and her
voice, hoarse and terrible, never ceased shouting the prophecies born within
the bird. Her eyes became mad and black, with dark circles surrounding them.
And when her tortured predictions came true, Gamayun found herself
underground.
Alkonost and Sirin missed the sun, and grew silent and
ill. They did not sing anymore, and only ruffled their dull feathers high in
the branches of a glowtree. But Gamayun could not stop prophesying, even though
her voice was so strained that it became little more than a coarse whisper. She
hissed and sputtered, and whispered fiercely of the terrible things happening
on the surface, and the things that were only going to happen.
Gamayun spoke of fire and ash, she
promised a burning like none in times past, she promised that the proud city
above them would be consumed in a conflagration greater than any before it; she
promised blood and destruction like never seen, and she promised that the
Moscow above their deep grave would be turned into a flower of fire, beautiful
and horrid; she promised its raging febrile bloom and the seeds of black ash.
The gods and others did not mean to ignore Gamayun,
but her prophecies were simply too unbearable to be acknowledged. Still, the
underground denizens turned a troubled gaze upward and sighed every time they
imagined the sound of hooves and the crackling of fire.
Father Frost raged and promised early and cruel
winters, and the leshys ventured to the surface woods, to lead away and confuse
the invading armies. And Gamayun was the one who
screamed and hissed and promised fire, and she was the one who disappeared on
the day Moscow burned and smoldered, and Napoleon took the city, then not much
more than a handful of cinders.
* * * *
"And now there's a Napoleonic bayonet and birds,”
Galina said to Zemun. “Do you think there's a connection?"
Koschey sneered at her from his considerable height.
“Did you think of it all by yourself? Or do you really think that stating the
obvious is somehow helpful?"
"We didn't know about Gamayun,” Yakov said. “If
it was so obvious to you, why didn't you mention it?"
"Because it's not obvious,” Zemun said. “I
haven't thought of this in a while."
Galina turned to Yakov; even though she doubted his
overall competence, he was her main hope in finding Masha. “What do you think?”
she said.
He opened his mouth but Sergey the rook interrupted.
“You all jump to conclusions too quickly,” he said. “Napoleonic bayonets? You
can buy them; so many people collect antique weapons nowadays. Why do you think
that everything has something to do with your private obsession?"
Galina swallowed and fell silent. Sergey was right,
she thought; she had seen everything as a sign, as a personal message that
would lead her to her sister. She was no different from the people she'd seen
in the hospital, the ones who received secret communications on TV and saw
every minor event as a coded message meant for them alone. She remembered a
woman who always sat by the TV every Saturday, waiting for the announcement of
winning lottery numbers. She never bought any tickets as far as anyone knew;
but she wrote the numbers down anyway, and deciphered them, her brow furrowed
and her lips moving in tortured concentration. Galina was just like her, and
once again she looked at Zemun and Koschey, wondering whether they were really
there.
Yakov touched her hand, his fingers rough and
leathery. “Don't listen to him,” he said. “What does he know?"
"I watched the same TV show as you,” Sergey the
rook said. “And they always try to make you think that you understand how it
works, and you rely on it, and it always backfires when you need it to work the
most."
"Will you three just stop that?” Zemun said, her
usual docility broken. “Stop trying to guess; it's not a game. There are no
rules. It's about our lives too, and they are as important as yours."
Koschey nodded. “You people always think it's all about
you. Like we're here just to entertain you. You
haven't thought that Berendey was my friend, have you?"
"You didn't seem too upset,” Sergey squawked.
"Most of us are dead,” Koschey said. “At some
point, histrionic displays just run out. It doesn't mean that one isn't
mourning."
Galina looked up at the rust-colored leaves-winter had
ended, either due to Berendey's passing or Father Frost's absence-and fall
foliage spread yellow and orange as far as the eye could see. Squirrels, their
tails as bright orange as the leaves of oaks and ashes, ran up and down the
trunks, stopping only to screech and chitter their
disapproval at the travelers passing by.
There was a rustling in the branches of the tree they
were passing under. Galina looked up, only to meet the gaze of a pair of
incredibly large and yellow eyes slit by vertical pupils. A tiger, she thought.
While she didn't expect to meet one in this climate zone, she was underground,
where stranger things were common. Still, she wasn't sure if the thing in the
tree was dangerous, and she remained
standing.
"What's the holdup?” Yakov said once he realized
Galina wasn't following.
She pointed wordlessly, and Zemun looked up and
laughed.
"That's Bayun,” she said. “Come down, cat, and
tell us what you've seen."
The Cat Bayun descended from the tree in two graceful
leaps. He turned out to be considerably smaller than a tiger, but much larger
than a housecat-as big as a collie, Galina decided. He arched his striped back
and yawned, his claws digging at the ground, as if plucking invisible guitar
strings. His gaze never left Galina's, and his lip hitched up, exposing long
sharp mother-of-pearl canines. “I haven't seen nothing,”
he said in a husky, almost adolescent voice. “What are you looking for?"
Galina had heard about Bayun before, but she could not
remember whether he was supposed to be good or evil. While Zemun explained the
situation to him she tried to figure out whether she should be afraid of the
strange talking cat-he seemed menacing. “Excuse me,” she whispered to Yakov.
“Do you know anything about Bayun?"
"Not much,” he answered. “I think when he sings
he can put you to sleep, and he is supposed to live in Thrice-Ninth
Kingdom."
"He's also related to Scandinavian myth,” Koschey
said. “His children are the two cats that pull Freya's chariot; at least,
according to some sources."
"I hadn't realized Russian fairytales were
related to other religions,” Yakov said.
Koschey laughed. “You're kidding, right? Most of
Russia's pagan gods were borrowed from elsewhere-Scandinavia, Phoenicia,
Greece, Egypt… you name it. There's very little original folklore here."
Galina thought it strange that mythological creatures
were capable of discussing their own origins. But then again, why wouldn't they
be? “Is it true that he can put people to sleep?” she asked Koschey.
He nodded, and picked up a robust, rust-colored leaf
off the ground, twirled it between two fingers. “It is not just the sleeping,”
he said, and smiled a wan smile. “It's the dreaming you should be interested
in. He can make your dreams… worthwhile, to say the least."
* * * *
Koschey was right. Galina's dreams were unusually
powerful and vivid, and as she dreamt she really believed that she was back
home, in their small apartment, with grandmother in the kitchen doing something
to the cabbage to make it smell. Their mother was at work, and Galina was
getting ready to go to the night classes she'd been taking during her rare
periods of lucidity. Masha was still in school then-she sat in the living room,
oblivious to the blaring of the TV, her elbows propped on the windowsill, the
open book in between them.
Galina felt guilty then, because she was a bad big
sister-absent, distant, frail and unsure of what was real and what wasn't. She
wanted so desperately to be there for Masha-so young, so pink, so brimming with
health and hope. She wanted so badly to connect. “Homework?”
Galina said.
Masha looked up from the book, her gaze momentarily
snagging on something outside before turning to meet Galina's. “No, just
reading."
"What?” she persisted, admiring the round contour
of her sister's cheek. How old was she, anyway? Eleven, twelve? Something like
that.
Masha consulted the cover. “Hamlet,” she said. “Do you
know that one?"
Galina smiled. “Yes. How're you
liking it?"
Masha made a thoughtful face. “They all speak in verse…
but I do like it. Especially the part about forty thousand
brothers… that's a lot of brothers, isn't it?"
Galina nodded. She understood the quiet awe in Masha's
voice-none of the kids they knew had large families, and a girl was lucky to
have a big brother. It was a generally accepted truth that brothers were better
than sisters-they could be strong and protective, and they were the closest
thing to a father for a girl who didn't have one. Big sisters were generally
useless, because they moved out and had children, and couldn't protect one.
"You wish you had a brother, don't you?” Galina
said.
Masha looked guilty for a moment, but then smiled. “I
would like a boy to live with us. Wouldn't you?"
"Not really,” Galina said. “You're lucky you
don't remember Dad."
Masha looked furtively toward the kitchen, but their
grandmother remained there, ensconced in the sizzling of the vegetable oil, the
clanging of the oven door and the smells of cabbage and fried onions. “Grandma
is making pies,” Masha said. “Tell me about our father."
There wasn't anything new to tell, but this
conversation had the comfort of familiarity about it. “He was a jerk,” Galina
said.
"And a drunk,” Masha said with
conviction.
"Not so much a drunk,” Galina said. “The
neighbors said that Mom was crazy to let him go. Where else would you find a
sober man, they said. But he just… he wasn't anything. I don't think he ever
said a word to me. And Grandma hated him."
Masha nodded, smiling. “I guess it's good that there
aren't any boys here then."
"If you say so."
"You'll be late for your school,” Masha said.
“Why do you go to school at night?"
"It's evening college for those who
work,” Galina said. “Like me. I can be late a little."
Masha gave her a penetrating look, modeled so
perfectly off their mother's that Galina had to laugh. “You really have to be
taking this more seriously,” Masha said. “If you keep on like this, you'll
never have an education, and I'll probably be married before you."
"Of course you will.” Galina laughed still.
“You're the one who wants boys in the house."
Masha shrugged. “Galka,” she said thoughtfully. “Would
you rather be deaf or blind?"
Galina weighed her options. “Deaf, I suppose. What
about you?"
"Blind,” Masha said. “This way, Mom will have no
choice but let me get a dog."
"You have it planned out, I see,” Galina said.
She looked at her watch and sighed. “I have to get going, I suppose. Don't go
blind just yet; maybe we can talk Mom into getting you a puppy."
Masha beamed. “Thanks, Galka. You know what I really
want? I mean, besides the puppy?"
Galina looked out of the window, and saw her bus pass
by. There would be another one; she sat down on the couch and kicked off her
shoes. “What do you really want?"
Masha stared at the passing bus. “I want to be someone
else."
"Who?"
Masha shrugged. “I don't know. Not me."
Then there was guilt again; Galina couldn't stop
feeling that it was her fault also. Who would want to be a girl with a crazy
sister and no brothers or a father? Who would want to be a girl with such a
severe mother and silently disapproving grandmother, who constantly cooked
fried potatoes, pies, borsch that tasted of frustration and suppressed anger?
Who would want to be a girl in a house filled with damaged women,
and no hope of ever becoming something else herself?
"I'm sorry,” Galina said. “You know, things can
change. It doesn't have to be this way forever."
Masha nodded. “Go,” she said. “I love you, as much as
forty thousand brothers."
Then the scene changed-they were in a darkened room,
with sooted wooden walls. Masha was older now, but her eyes still watched
Galina with a hopeful expectation. “You'll help me, won't you?"
"I've been doing nothing else,” Galina said. “I'm
here looking for you, with a stupid cow and Koschey the Deathless, while Mom is
home with your baby."
Masha looked confused for a second. “A
baby?"
Galina nodded. “But we'll talk about that later… in
person. Now just tell me where you are."
"I'm in a castle,” she said. “Although it doesn't
look like a castle, but they tell me Peter the Great used to live here."
"Who are they?” Galina tried to keep her voice
steady.
Masha shrugged. “I don't know. There are several of
them, or maybe just one and he wears a different face
every day."
"What do they want with you?"
"I don't know. They keep us here and send us,
always send us to look and tell them what we saw. They have so many birds, and
we see every corner of above and below. They take the images from our eyes and
the memories from our heads, sounds from our ears and voices from our tongues…
please come find me before we're all deaf and mute and blind."
* * * *
"Who has many faces and a castle?” Galina asked
Zemun as soon as she woke up under Bayun's tree. Look at this, she thought; I'm
talking in goddamn riddles. And I'm asking advice from a talking cow. And I
talk to birds and cats. It's a good thing my schizophrenia is in remission.
"Hmmmm,” Zemun said. “Dvoedushnik,
maybe. But who knows what other creatures lurk in this forest?"
"What do you mean?” Yakov interrupted. “I thought
you all knew each other."
"Do you know every person in Moscow, or even in
your neighborhood?” Timur-Bey countered. “When this place was formed, some
chose to build a city. Others stayed in the forest. Didn't anyone tell you it's
not safe here?"
"David did,” Yakov admitted. “He didn't say
why."
"There's also something you might want to know,”
Galina told Yakov. “Remember the house of Peter the Great in Kolomenskoe that
Sergey mentioned? I dreamt that it was here, in this forest."
Sergey the rook hopped onto Galina's shoulder and
peered into her face. “You mean to say that this forest is actually
Kolomenskoe?"
"I don't think so,” Galina said. “But maybe
there's a connection."
"Perhaps,” Koschey said. “I'm ashamed to say that
I don't know anything here that belonged to any czars."
"I do,” Timur-Bey said. “And incidentally, that's
not the same as the house in Kolomenskoe."
"How do you know that?” Zemun said.
"Because,” Timur-Bey said, “the one here ended up
underground after its above version was burned by Napoleon."
Galina and Yakov traded looks. If one didn't think too
hard about it, it almost made sense-Kolomenskoe and Peter the Great and the
birds-but the moment one looked at the pieces directly they fell apart again,
like bits of mosaic that formed a picture if looked at from a distance but a meaningless
jumble up close.
Yakov apparently felt the same way-he shook his head
and sighed. “Think we're getting closer?” he asked Galina.
She nodded. “I don't care about the puzzles,” she
said. “I just want my sister back; you can have the rest."
Yakov produced an uncertain smile. “That sounds like a
bargain,” he said.
14: Napoleon
The world used to make sense; Yakov remembered that
much. And yet, here, underground, he couldn't avoid the thought that the
apparent sense and order was just a result of his wistful optimism. It also
occurred to him that the closer he found himself to evil, the harder it was to
maintain the illusion of a sensible universe.
He resented the vague and abstract quality of evil-it
was always in the plural, be it thugs or
communists or Chechen terrorists. It was never a person with a
face and a possibility of affixing blame, at least not after some time passed;
only then could evil be identified and labeled as such, but who could believe
something after so much time had passed? And after living underground and
hearing the denizens’ stories he started to doubt that historians on the
surface ever got the real meaning of anything.
Now, he felt lost among dreams and speculations, in a
dark forest so big that the initially sprawling and overwhelming underground
city became but a speck lost in a mosaic of trees-some frozen and leafless,
others just starting to sprout their first sticky leaves: a patchwork of
seasons and-Yakov suspected-times. And somewhere deep within the forest there
was a palace of the czar who had abandoned Moscow for St Petersburg. And within
this palace there were birds who used to be people but were now subjugated to
some unknown but menacing enemies-numerous, faceless, like any other evil.
Timur-Bey led them, following landmarks only he could
see; he sometimes stopped to look closely at a tree trunk or a patch of grass,
or to rub the delicate skeleton of a fallen leaf between his small dry palms.
"What is he doing?” Yakov whispered to Galina.
“What is he looking for?"
"I don't think he's looking for anything,” Galina
whispered back. “I think he's praying."
"Praying? Who's here to pray to?” He heaved a
sigh and fell silent, suddenly overtaken by the thought that here, underground,
there was no one to hear his prayers. He was never particularly religious,
despite his mother's efforts to make him go to church and to consider his soul.
Still, there was a certainty that if he ever had the fancy to pray there would
be someone to listen; at least his mother assured him that it was so. Here,
there was instead the bleak knowledge that all the gods that had any power were
dead, and he was instead at the mercy of strange creatures with unclear
motives. It was no wonder then that he looked to Galina for support.
But she seemed preoccupied. Ever since the dreams of
her sister started, she grew more distant and anxious by the day, as if a part
of her strained ahead, leaving behind the rest that couldn't keep up. “It's
like a bad dream,” she told Yakov. “You know the ones when you're trying to run
but can't or only move very slowly?"
He nodded. “I think everyone has those."
"It's strange, isn't it,” Galina said. “It's not
like anyone ever had an actual experience of running in molasses. I wonder
where this dream comes from."
"Walking through mud,” Yakov said. “The place I
used to live, there was so much mud, especially after the rains started. There
was construction everywhere."
"Sounds like my neighborhood,” Galina said.
“There used to be an apple orchard, and now it's just dirt and railroad."
"I remember,” Yakov said. “I'm just two streets
down from you, by the supermarket and the liquor store."
"And the glass factory,” Galina said. “The one
Sergey talked about. Isn't it strange, how we lived so close and yet never knew
what was going on there, with thugs and magic?"
"I suppose. But isn't it even stranger that
there's a whole damn world under our feet, and
nobody knows about it?"
"Yeah,” Galina said, her forehead furrowing in
the habitual pattern of narrow lines that were getting permanently entrenched
in her smooth skin. “But someone has to know. The KGB probably does-how can
they not?"
Yakov shrugged; he did not share Galina's conviction
although he had encountered this particular belief many times-perfectly reasonable
people often believed that the KGB was all-knowing, and ascribed to them a
superhuman competence. It made it easier to swallow that way, he supposed; if
the evil was all-knowing and all-powerful, one could not be too hard on oneself
for being a victim. And there was comfort in this belief in the omnipotence of
the KGB-not always pleasant, perhaps, but better than the alternative; who
wanted to live in fear of a mere shadow?
Yakov sighed. “Maybe not.
This place… even if someone knew about it, who would believe it? I'm here, and
even I expect to wake up at any moment. It's so weird that I don't even know
how to act most of the time… I met my dead grandfather, for crying out loud. I
don't get it how you can be like this."
"Like what?” Galina looked toward the ground
under her walking feet.
"Like all this… like it's real. You're taking it
seriously."
"I have to,” she said. “My sister is here. And
you… after I saw what the boatman did to you, I think you're taking it pretty
seriously too."
"I don't want to talk about that.” Yakov picked
up his pace. He looked at the trees, long beards of Icelandic moss undulating
in the wind, the dark needles of black spruces casting a deep shadow over the
narrow path, and felt deeply unsettled, just like he did under the unblinking
gaze of the boatman when the icy fingers of his mind probed and sifted through
Yakov's memories. And just on the edges of them, a sound stirred-a thin
piercing cry, tearing the night silence apart like a sharp needle, and then
falling silent. The night seemed so much quieter and colder now than before
that cry started, and the hole left by the removed memory ached, like the
phantom limb of a mutilated soldier.
Timur-Bey seemed to be nearing the goal-he stopped
less, and forged ahead down the path overgrown with brambles and lamb's ear.
Zemun followed closely behind, trampling down the vegetation with her hooves to
make the way passable for the rest, although Yakov suspected that Koschey was
far too inured to such minor obstacles to pay attention, and that Zemun's
effort was for Yakov's and Galina's benefit.
The forest around them changed again, as it did many
times on this journey. The trees changed from spruces to birches, and light
played across their golden heart-shaped leaves. The path also widened, as if it
had been recently traveled. The air opened up around them, and Yakov realized
how suffocated he felt under the closed canopy of the spruces. Birches were so
much nicer, so much more pastoral-they reminded him of the ubiquitous sentimentally
patriotic paintings, always with birches and blue skies, always about the
transcendent quality of the Russian forests and other natural habitats. But
right now, he was glad to see them.
The clearings gaped at them from the right and left,
soft succulent meadows of long rich grass, sharp sedges fringing the wet meadow
margins where a brook gurgled in its gentle idiot tongue.
"Wait,” Timur-Bey whispered, and kneeled to
examine footprints in the soft ground.
Yakov was not an experienced tracker, but even he
could see that the meadow was thoroughly
trampled.
"These are bare feet,” Timur-Bey pointed. “And these-not quite bare, but quite close. It looks like
their boots are falling apart."
Sergey flapped his wings and hopped awkwardly to the ground.
He half-hopped, half-ran to Timur-Bey's side, peering at a deep oval depression
filled with murky swamp water. “This is the butt of a rifle,” he said.
"Or a musket,” Timur-Bey
agreed. “Didn't they use to say
that the bullet is stupid and the bayonet is wise?"
"Maybe a musket,” Sergey said. “My point is, we
should probably be quiet and not attract attention."
"Maybe they're friendly,” Zemun said.
"They have guns,” Koschey said. “Not that it
bothers me, but you fleshbags should probably keep it under advisement.
Bare-footed men with large guns are rarely in a good enough mood
to chat before shooting."
"I don't like this,” Galina said.
The rook squawked with laughter. “The
large gun part or the men part?"
"Oh, leave her alone,” Yakov said.
"I'm just saying,” Sergey said. “You don't like
men much, do you?"
Galina shifted her shoulders uncomfortably and
slouched. “No. What's your point?"
"Enough,” Yakov interrupted. “This is really not
a good time.” It was true, of course; at the same time, Yakov did not
particularly relish the subject. He knew Galina; she had grown up the same way
he had-without a father, among women hardened by bitter life experience. She
had no reason to feel any differently than she did, and yet he felt guilty the
moment that ‘no’ left her lips. Like it was his fault somehow-but then again,
he had left his wife. Or perhaps it was she who had left him; he couldn't
remember anymore, not through the cobwebs of lies and rationalizations and
retellings of the same story over and over to himself, until the details took
on the shape of his words, and the words themselves became the truth and the
substance, their underlying memory forever lost, like the wax mold of a death
mask.
They moved along the road, under the sparse cover of
the trees. The shadows of thin branches and leaves weaved in patterns of light
and dark, breaking up and concealing the shapes of people and the cow that
moved below them. The meadows disappeared, supplanted by patches of rough
scrub-bushes and goldenrods, willow herbs growing through the charred remains
of some long-forgotten buildings.
The trees receded, and they stood between the
overgrown ruins and a tall palisade, made of thick and long logs fitted
together side by side, their sharpened ends threatening to pierce the distant
sky. They could not see what was hidden behind the fence, only a curlicue of
smoke rising from behind it, and a strong smell of burnt wood tainting the air
so strongly Yakov tasted it on the back of his throat.
"Something's burning,” Galina said.
Timur-Bey shook his head. “It's not
burning; it had burnt, many years ago, but it still smolders. Like they do.” He pointed with a nod.
There were five men there, standing and sitting under
the shadow of the fence, dressed in rags; their feet were wrapped in remnants
of rough sailcloth, and muskets rested on their shoulders. But Yakov looked
into their faces-red as if boiled, their beards and eyebrows singed or burned
off, their eyes the blind white of a cooked egg. Their nails, trimmed with mourning
black, bubbled as if melting off their fingertips. Their rags were covered in
soot, but Yakov guessed them for military uniforms, even though it was
impossible to see the insignia; he guessed that they were from the early
nineteenth century, but could not determine their allegiance. At least, until they spoke.
"Hey, Petro,” one of them called. “What time is
it?"
"Who cares what time it is?” Petro replied and
spat philosophically. “Does time even have meaning anymore?"
One of the others nodded and sat down, resting the
musket across his knees. “And for what sins are we being punished so?” he said.
“What sins have I committed, dear Lord in heaven, to guard the fence of a
burned building for all eternity? What sins, what sins are so great to merit such
a punishment? Dear Lord, forgive me my trespasses, lowly sinner that I am, and
deliver me from this torment."
"Shut up about your sins, Corporal,” the one
named Petro said with a stifled laugh. “Who's to say sins have anything to do
with this fence? And who's to say whose sins are greater?"
A general murmur of agreement emitted from the rest of
the soldiers.
"I suffer so,” the Corporal said.
Collective groans of annoyance were his answer, and
Yakov decided that for the past hundred and eighty years the Corporal's
suffering had been getting on his comrades’ nerves.
Yakov and the rest had all agreed that a direct
approach would be the most foolish one; instead, they decided to rely on an
old-fashioned deception-rather, Zemun and Koschey decided on it, while Galina
and Yakov rolled their eyes at each other and shook their heads in disbelief.
Timur-Bey and Sergey remained neutral on the matter.
"Seriously,” Yakov said to Zemun. “Trojan horses
have been done before."
"It's not the same,” Zemun said. “There's no one
inside me.” She sounded hurt, and Yakov didn't argue further.
They watched Zemun as she approached the gates, her
jaws moving rhythmically, and her eyes as empty as those of a regular cow. The
soldiers at the gate turned to watch her with their blind white eyes.
"What's that?” the Corporal asked.
"Looks like a cow, Corporal,” Petro said, and
stroked his bare face thoughtfully, as if he expected to find a beard. “A beauty of a cow, too."
The rest muttered that it was a nice enough cow, yes
sir, sure was.
"I haven't had have any milk in ages,” Petro
said. “Or cheese, for that matter."
The corporal stopped lamenting the
cruelty of his fate, and smiled. Zemun let herself be led inside, and Yakov
heaved a sigh. He only hoped that the plan wouldn't backfire too badly.
When night fell, the gate in the tall fence swung
open, lit from the inside by the ghostly blue light of the celestial cow, and
Zemun herself motioned for them to come in. Inside the gate there was a yard of
tightly tamped dirt; every pockmark and trough stood out in stark relief, like
craters on the moon's surface, illuminated by pools of light. There were stars
strewn about, and their blue and white rays pierced the darkness like
spotlights.
"What happened here?” Yakov asked, pointing at
the globes of pure light littering the bare yard.
"They tried to milk me,” Zemun answered, and
looked sullen. “But I don't think they suspect anything."
Galina exhaled an unconvincing laugh. “Of course not. Why would they?"
Yakov looked past the scattered stars and forgot about
the danger and everything else, gaping at the wooden palace that towered over
them. The facets cut into its smooth light walls reminded him of the palaces in
the Kremlin, and the gilded onion domes topping seven slender towers appeared
more beautiful than any buildings he had ever seen. “What is this?” he
whispered.
"That,” Timur-Bey said, “used to be one of the
oldest buildings of the Kremlin."
"It's all stone now,” Galina said.
"It used to be all wood,” Timur-Bey said, his almond-shaped eyes dark and stark in the grounded
starlight. “I remember it; the Tatars burned a few of those palaces… and they
kept burning throughout history. Your people rebuilt them in stone, but some of
the old buildings made it here. This one… I hear that Napoleon burned it…
Moscow burned for many days then."
* * * *
Moscow burned for many days then. Historians argue
about who started the fires. Some said it was the Russians, intent on depriving
the invaders of food and shelter. They burned the houses and the food stores,
the shops and the warehouses; they did not care that the privation would affect
them too. Others said that the Napoleonic troops burned the Kremlin on purpose
and everything else by accident, due to the windy weather and too many unattended
cooking fires in their encampments. Yakov didn't know who it was, and it didn't
seem important to him, but he did wonder how the soldiers they had seen-Petro
and the corporal and the rest-ended up here. He could imagine it now-burned and
injured, suffocating from smoke, their mouths tasting of ash, they stumbled
through fire and sparks, wincing at the crashing of the great beams of the
palace burning around them. They must've seen the doorway, distorted by heat
and smoke, and rushed through. He thought they were soldiers, probably used to
fighting and routing and shooting and stabbing, but not this, not being caught
in a burning building, gilded with molten flames. He imagined a despair great
enough, a fear powerful enough to pick up the ghost of the stately building
that roared and collapsed in a tornado of fire and howling smoke, and to bring
it with them underground… even though Yakov suspected that they were not as
much underground as on the other side, in some unseen lining of the known
world.
* * * *
Zemun had done a bit of reconnaissance-she knew the
sheds and the piles of firewood in the yard, the small barracks where the
soldiers with burned hair and boiled white eyes sat in dreamless sleep all
night long. She still did not know who was inside, since the palace's gates
were locked tight. They decided to wait until morning,
hiding in one of the sheds filled with half-rotten logs and rusted axes.
Galina kept looking up, searching for something in the
molded ceiling beams.
Yakov guessed that she was looking for birds. “They're
not there,” he whispered.
She nodded, still looking up, as if expecting them to
materialize out of the surrounding stale air. Yakov looked too, squinting up
into the cupped ceiling, where shadows grew dense in the corners, reaching for
the thickly hewn supports and twining around them in an elaborate chiaroscuro.
If he squinted and tilted his head, the shadows shifted and something glinted
between his eyelashes, impossible to see directly but shifting to the corners
of his vision and dancing and taunting, they twinkled like the stars that fell
out of Zemun's udders, like large slow drops of magical milk.
Galina watched them too; she asked, “Did you have a
kaleidoscope when you were a kid?"
"Of course,” Yakov said. “Show me a kid who
didn't."
Sergey the rook squawked in the affirmative on Yakov's
shoulder, and Yakov felt sudden and acute pity for this man, a criminal
imprisoned in a bird's body, at yet another similarity, another reminder that
he used to be a child too, and that he and Yakov shared many experiences, few
things being unique in the mass-manufactured Soviet childhood.
"Did you ever break yours open?” Yakov asked
Galina.
She smiled, finally looking away from the ceiling and
meeting his eyes. “Of course. Every kid does-how can
you not want to see all those treasures inside?"
Yakov smiled at the memory. There was nothing of
interest inside that cardboard tube, slightly dented at the end where the
plastic caps fitted, one of them with an eyepiece. There were several small
mirrors inside that tube, and nothing but a button, a glass bead and several
triangular pieces of colored paper. “That was messed up,” he said. “I cried for
hours afterwards."
Galina nodded. “It's funny how everyone goes through
this kaleidoscope thing. You think the adults do it on purpose?"
"Why?"
"To teach the kids something… I don't know."
Sergey huffed. “Teach what? The
illusory nature of the world?"
Galina shrugged. “Maybe. Or
the futility of beauty, or something depressing like that.
I still don't understand adults, even though I am one myself."
"No you're not,” Sergey said. “You don't have
kids. Neither do I, so don't feel bad. See, I figured
it all out guarding the nuclear silo-I always felt like a kid, you know, just
playing a game or something, like I just pretended to be a soldier with a stick
for a gun. And there was a lot of time to think. So I figured it all out.
You're either a parent or you're a kid. As long as you don't have kids of your
own and become a parent, you're a kid. So, Yakov, what are you?"
Yakov couldn't decide which one he
was-neither a child nor a parent felt right. “I don't know,” he said. “But that
day when I broke that kaleidoscope, I swore that my kids would never have one
of those things. Damn depressing, and a horrible toy to give to anyone. I
wouldn't be one of those asshole parents that teach kids nothing but how much
everything sucks and that the world is messed up."
"It is messed up,” Galina said. “In case you
haven't noticed, we're underground. With a talking cow and Koschey the
Deathless, about to ask a bunch of soldiers circa 1812 why on earth did they
kill a beloved fairytale character with a bayonet. Also, my sister is
missing."
"I'm sorry about that,” Yakov said. “That part is
indeed messed up. But everything else… it's not too bad. Is it?"
"No,” Galina said. “It's not. I always dreamt of
a secret place like that… I just wish I found it under better
circumstances."
"You can't get here under better circumstances,”
Timur-Bey said from the darkness in the corner of the shed. “Haven't you been
paying attention?"
"Perhaps we should sleep a bit,” Sergey said, and
hid his head under his wing.
"I don't feel like it,” Yakov said.
Galina snuggled against Zemun's flank. “Neither do I."
Zemun smiled. She seemed content now, peaceful. “Why
sleep when you can talk?” she said. “Just keep it down. There are enemies
afoot."
Yakov moved closer to Galina. “Sorry if it's too
personal,” he said. “But you mentioned-that you were hospitalized before?"
Galina let his half-question hang, unanswered, for a
few seconds as she frowned as if gathering her thoughts. “Schizophrenia,” she
said, finally.
Yakov was surprised. She didn't seem crazy, at least
most of the time. “You look normal to me,” he finally mumbled, and cringed. Now
she would think that he doubted her veracity.
"Thanks,” she said instead. “It comes and goes.
They call it sluggish schizophrenia-ever heard of it?"
He did. It was a fake diagnosis for political
malcontents, as far as he remembered. A convenient way of
oppression that did not require prisons. He looked at Galina with
pity-she seemed like such a small woman, so hurt and broken up about her
sister, so driven with the desperate resolve of the one who had very little of
value in life and would fight for the last thing that was left for her.
He didn't know how to tell her,
and whether he should tell her at all-that the disease they diagnosed her with
did not really exist, that it was a fabrication. He wondered if it would do any
good to tell a person who believed herself crippled that she was not-would it
fix her, or would it become a crushing burden? He
tried to imagine what it would be like, to reconsider his concept of self, to
find that he was not what he thought he was-would it be liberating or
devastating? “Yes,” he finally said. “I heard of it. You seem to be dealing
with it well."
Galina smiled, grateful. “My mom,” she said. “She was
the one who thought there was something wrong with me when I was just little.
Funny how she foresaw it-I started having hallucinations after she said I had
to go to a hospital."
"Uncanny,” Yakov muttered. “Do you
think it's possible that being in the hospital was maybe not the best thing for
you?"
She stopped smiling. “Of course I thought about it.
What, do you think I'm stupid? But it doesn't really matter now, does it?"
"I guess not,” Yakov said. “Sorry I brought it
up."
"It's all right,” Galina said. “But I'm tired
now. Mind if I sleep a little?"
"Go ahead,” Yakov said.
Galina rested her head on Zemun's flank and closed her
eyes with a sigh. Yakov remained sitting, listening to the crying of an
imaginary baby somewhere in his mind, on the very edge of hearing, so that even
he couldn't say whether it was a memory or just a ringing of the frayed nerves.
He waited for morning.
15: Kolomenskoe
There were many parks in Moscow-the ones in the old
city, the white city, were there for recreation and entertainment, some
complete with Ferris wheels and lemonade stands, the kiosks that sold
everything under the sun, including gin-and-tonic in a can. The ones in the
outskirts, Tsaritsino and Kolomenskoe, were different. These felt like real
places that existed regardless of people's presence. The churches in
Kolomenskoe and the palace in Tsaritsino were real as well-perhaps damaged by
age and neglect, perhaps speckled with bird droppings and the twinkling
fragments of broken bottles; but in their old age they remained stately,
dreaming, it seemed to Fyodor, of the days that slipped by them, the days that
decorated their facades with weathered brick and stubborn splotches of lichen
as they went away forever, leaving the buildings in their wake like the
skeletons of distant shipwrecks.
He looked at the reflection in the river-they were in
Kolomenskoe now, and the river here was lively enough to resist the stiff
embrace of ice that started to form along the shores. But in the center the
water remained black and clear, as if purified by the early frosts of oil and
other contamination. The snow fell, touching the clear black mirror without a
ripple, dissolving quietly in the white apparition of the reflected church.
They had scaled the fence to get there. Oksana snapped
a few slender birch branches and started a small fire. It melted a small crater
in the snow, and they sat next to it, watching the river and the snow. Fyodor's
hands warmed over the flames, but his back felt numb from the cold. He moved
closer to the flames.
"Careful,” Oksana said. “You'll set yourself on
fire."
"Better fire than hypothermia,” Fyodor said. “I
saw that guy once, in the hospital. His temperature dropped so low, the only
way to warm him up was to put tubes in his chest and pour warm water through
them. I was one bed over, and I remember the water sloshing in and out of his
chest. Weird sound, that. Nothing quite like it. It
slurped."
"Sounds awful,” Oksana said. “I saw people freeze
to death too. The key is to stay awake and keep the fire going. There're no
ambulances here, and they won't find us until the morning."
"If then. No one comes here in winter."
"It's still fall."
"Same difference. Who would go for a walk in such weather?"
"I hope that Sergey's friends would."
"Perhaps.” He tossed another branch into the flames. “Where's
your tabor?"
She jerked her shoulders, irritable. “I don't know.
Maybe they moved on, to Ukraine or somewhere south."
"Why don't you look for them?” Fyodor asked. “Because of me?"
"You're an outsider,” she admitted. “Most Roma
don't like outsiders. But with me, I think you'd be all right."
"Why don't you look for them then?"
"Maybe in the morning.” She sighed. “It's difficult. I spent so much time
among Russians, I feel like an outsider myself most of the time. The trouble
is, you can't live in two worlds-you always pick one, even if you don't mean
to."
"I think I know what you're saying,” Fyodor said.
“Most of the time you don't even know that you've already chosen.” He fell
quiet, thinking of the summer of his eighteenth year when he failed the exams
and never went home. There had been nothing keeping him from going, except that
he just didn't. Couldn't. “You never know until it's
too late to do anything about it."
Oksana slouched more, digging her hands deeper under
her bent knees. The rats pressed closer around her, in a protective circle of
warmth. “It's like when you're a kid, and then one day you realize you're
ashamed of your parents, and you don't even know how it happened. Everyone gets
embarrassed of their parents at some point, I think. I just didn't know one could
be embarrassed of an entire people."
"I know how you feel,” Fyodor said. “I
think."
Oksana shrugged. “Everyone does to some extent, I
suppose. Doesn't make it any easier."
"No,” Fyodor agreed, and looked at the sky that
was growing gray over the river. Morning was coming, and he turned to look
behind him, at the palimpsest of a path, almost invisible under the thick snow
swaddling the ground in its soft embrace. There were crosses of bird prints
between the white silent trees, becoming slowly visible as the daylight grew
with every minute, imperceptibly at first but quickly gaining strength. The
fire burned out, leaving a black scorched circle that stared at them like an
empty eye socket from the gently sloping face of the riverbank.
"I suppose we better go check out the cabin,”
Fyodor said.
They found it with ease-there were snow-covered signs
everywhere, which detailed directions and historical irrelevancies in two
languages. Really, Fyodor thought, who cared where the cabin was transported
from, log-by-log? What did it matter if Peter the Great decided to move the
capital to St Petersburg? Was there any significance to the fact that Peter was
the first czar to be crowned with a crown made in Western style,
indistinguishable from those of European monarchs, and scorned the Helm of
Monomakh? He remembered that helm, displayed in one of the Kremlin's museums.
It looked like a regular hat, save for the abundance of jewels and the cross
that topped it. The museum guide explained that Monomakh's Helm symbolized the
transition of the seat of power from Byzantium to Russia, and that since
Byzantium was heir to the Roman Empire, this is why Russia was considered the
third Rome. He spoke about the legacies of early
Christianity, of the terrible and ancient heritage. Fyodor understood with a
vague animal instinct why Peter the Great-the ticcy, twitchy, narrow-chested
giant-would want to avoid this legacy, already replicated ad infinitum in the
shapes of church roofs and fur hats everywhere.
It wasn't about control of the sea, Fyodor though as
the virgin snow crunched and gave under his freezing feet, toes curled inside
his oversized army boots. It wasn't about Peter's training in Europe or infatuation
with the West. It was all about escape-escape from this blasted city with its
terrible history buried deep underground, with its oppressive Byzantine past.
Peter could not bear this place, suspended between worlds, and he chose a new
alliance and built a new city, European and clean, where the streets ran in a
grid instead of meandering drunkenly up and down the seven hills of Moscow. So
Peter fled, Fyodor thought, fled in self-preservation, into the cold and
sterile embrace of the Baltic. Who could blame him?
They saw the cabin from between barren trees frosted
with sparkling ice, icicles festooning the branches like candy. Fyodor could
taste the familiar crystalline pure flavor of them, unforgettable since
childhood.
"You think anyone is in there?” Oksana whispered.
Fyodor examined the snow on the path leading to the
cabin's door. “Nothing from this side, at least."
"That's good,” Oksana said. “Sergey said that
other guy used to go there at night."
The door creaked on its hinges and opened under
Fyodor's push. There was a smell of neglect-a sour stench of spilled beer and a
whiff of stale air. The cabin-a small room with a soiled floor, strewn with
beer bottles and rags-was empty.
Fyodor breathed with a mix of relief and
disappointment. “No one here,” he said, and waited for Oksana to come in,
stomping her feet and clapping her hands. Her long hair had frozen in a fringe
of icicles, and he fought the temptation to break one off and suck it, like a
child would.
"We should've come here at night,” she said.
"Should've,” Fyodor agreed, “only you were too
scared last night, remember?"
Oksana shot him a nasty look. “I was not scared. It
just didn't seem like a good idea, to rush into something dangerous in the
middle of the night. Now, we at least know where everything is, and we can hide
here and wait."
Fyodor shook his head. “Why don't we go and find that
Slava character?"
"Where would you find him?"
"Sergey said, he liked
to hang out by the Tsaritsino marketplace. Let's go there, check it out. I'm
not staying in this cabin all day. At the very least, we can find some food
there. We'll leave a few rats to keep watch for us, yeah?"
"I haven't any money,” Oksana said.
"Neither do I. We'll
just have to improvise."
"If you're expecting me to steal, you're out of
luck."
Fyodor laughed,
the sound reverberating off the old walls. “No,” he said. “Of
course not. I'll do the honors."
* * * *
They took the subway-just three stops. Unexpectedly
the turnstile at the entrance of the station took the changeless coins Fyodor
offered it, and for the first time in god knows how long he rode the subway
lawfully-at least somewhat. It was past the rush hour, and they found seats,
even though they did not have long to travel. Fyodor always found thinking on
the train easy and pleasant, with the dark tunnel enclosing the rushing train
securely, like a glove, and the lights on the walls of the tunnel whooshing by
with comforting regularity. He let his mind drift then, images and thoughts
traveling through his mind-he imagined himself rushing
like the train, and his thoughts were just brief stationary flashes of light he
was passing by, given an illusion of movement by his own unstoppable momentum.
He watched the faces of the people sitting across from
him-old ladies, mostly, now that everyone else was at work; old ladies with
eyes lost in nests of wrinkles, and thick woolen kerchiefs swathed around their
heads; their darkened hands were folded on their laps or clutched grocery bags.
There were also bums who smelled of urine and alcohol, and Fyodor thought that
it had been almost twelve hours since he had his last drink. His hands felt
itchy and restless, humming with some fool energy that would soon turn into
shakes.
"I need a drink,” he whispered to Oksana.
She eyed him with mild disgust. “It can wait."
"No.” He held up one hand, palm down, the
trembling of his fingers now buzzing, subsonic, visible. “It really
can't."
Oksana sighed, and looked away. “We'll get you
something at the market,” she said. “Just don't fall apart on me, all
right?"
He nodded and stared at the two teenagers sitting by
the door at the end of the car. The rest depressed him too much.
Oksana's disapproval didn't bother him-he was used to
tisking and looks that mixed disgust with pity; he was even bored with the
regret and self-loathing that were common to the point of cliché with every
drinker he knew. He just wanted to get his drink and get on with the task at
hand. It wasn't so bad, really; how many people needed to take their medication
every day? How many couldn't get out of bed without their pills and unguents?
Alcohol was his medication and unguent, and he saw nothing shameful in that.
The train pulled into the station, and he followed
Oksana onto the platform. As he watched the train leave, he wondered briefly
what would happen if he threw himself at the glistening windows once
again-would he be transported back underground, or would he shatter the glass
and plummet along with the waterfall of hard sharp shards onto the tracks that
already hummed with the arrival of the next train? Would the two minutes
between the trains be enough to scramble up the tall cement walls that
separated them from the platform, or would he be too dazed to do anything but
stand on the tracks, staring into the approaching lights and roar and brimstone
of the next train?
Oksana tugged his sleeve. “Let's go,” she said. “No
point in waiting."
"There's always a point in waiting,” he said,
remembering all the times when he waited, vaguely, for something or someone to
transport him, to steal him away. But the gypsies were not coming for him, and
he followed her to the exit, slouching more with every step, his mind growing
feverish in the absence of medication.
They ascended the stairs to the surface within a dense
crowd-the market did a brisk business.
Despite his shaking
hands, Fyodor scoped the crowd. It was cold enough for people to wear bulky
coats, and even a clumsy pickpocket could expect a measure of success. As they
shuffled up the stairs, side by side, pressed together, waddling like penguins,
he let his fingers slip into an old woman's pocket, warm and cavernous. There
was no wallet, but his fingers closed on a piece of paper. A single note,
barely enough for a drink, but it was all he wanted. He stuffed it into his
pocket and slowed his step to fall behind in case his victim discovered the
injury inflicted on her.
Oksana shook her head but said nothing, even as he
stopped at a kiosk at the underground crossing and bought a gin-and-tonic in a
can. He drank it on the spot, feeling the tremor leave his fingers almost
instantaneously. He tossed the empty can in the direction of the several stray
dogs sleeping peacefully by the kiosk.
"It's cute,” Oksana said. “I always see these
strays in the subway crossings, and people always step around them so
carefully. Even when their legs are outstretched no one ever steps on
them."
"I just wish the vendors wouldn't feed them,”
Fyodor said. “Look how fat they are. And if they keep feeding the lazy curs
they'll never leave."
"And where would you like them to go?” Oksana
wanted to know.
He shrugged, indifferent. “Should we go to the
market?"
The rats shifted under his coat, eager to get on with
it. Fyodor thought that he would've preferred some more substantial reinforcement
than the rats-a gun, perhaps, would be welcome when dealing with career
criminals.
They ascended the steps. The market entrance-an open
gate made of hollow aluminum bars-was to their left, and through it they saw
the snow on the ground kneaded by the multitude of feet into dirty slush, the
makeshift counters which displayed a scattering of awkward co-op-produced
clothing and shoes, lost amidst a sea of knockoff T-shirts, duffel bags, and
jeans, with words like ‘Nike’ and ‘Jordache’ in careless stitching, more of a
gesture than any genuine attempt at deception.
Oksana walked along the counters, her gaze
occasionally lingering on a handbag or a blouse; Fyodor worried that she would
be distracted by the abundance of shiny objects around her, but she held all
right. Fyodor's gaze searched the crowd, looking for the obligatory maroon
jackets and gold chains. He had never met Slava but he knew the type.
The crowd was predominantly female and elderly, and
Fyodor was growing disappointed, until the smell of lamb and cilantro attracted
his attention. Like most heavy drinkers, he was not particularly interested in
food, but the kebob shack from which the smells emanated seemed like a good
place for the racketeers to congregate.
Oksana apparently thought the same-she sniffed the air
and swallowed hard.
"Maybe they're in there,” Fyodor said. “Let's
check it out."
"I'm hungry,” Oksana said.
He should've felt guilty at that. Instead, he cased
the market for the shoppers absorbed in examining the wares and the seams on
the garments, liable as they were to fall apart at the slightest provocation.
He walked past them, his hands now steady, dipping casually into pockets and
purses, until a sweaty crumpled wad of bills lay in his hand. “All set,” he
told Oksana. “Come on, we'll get you something to eat. And
for your rats, too."
The rats responded with enthusiastic
shuffling under his coat, pressing to get closer to the sleeve openings.
Fyodor and Oksana entered the shack, indistinguishable
from any other establishment of this sort. A sweaty individual in a wifebeater
manned the counter, and the dense smells of onions and lamb mingled with the
more delicate fragrance of cilantro and chives. The plastic tables stood empty,
except for the one at the corner, where tobacco smell and low male voices hung
thick. Out of the corner of his eye Fyodor noticed a swath of maroon and a
flash of yellow, and stepped to the counter to order. They took their plastic
plates filled with kebobs-chunks of greasy charred meat and a pitiful
scattering of herbs for garnish-to the table by the door, where they could
watch the thugs unobtrusively. Fyodor was tempted to get a shot of vodka, but
decided against it. For once, he judged sobriety preferable. Besides, it was
expensive nowadays. Gorbachev's quaint attempts to ennoble the national
character by discouraging drinking were getting on Fyodor's nerves, and even
though the push for alcohol-free weddings (which, Fyodor supposed, would
eventually lead to immaculate conceptions) was largely over, prices never fell
to their pre-Gorbachev levels.
Apparently, the thugs at the other table felt the same
way. They were involved in an animated discussion about using a pressure cooker
to make moonshine. “It's perfect,” one of them said. Judging by his sloping
shoulders and mangled ears, he was a retired boxer. “In a
small apartment, yeah? You can use sugar, or grain, or potatoes, and
then just distill it with the pressure cooker. I have a fermenting jar, fits
behind the sofa in the kitchen, it's maybe thirty liters. Takes like an hour to
put it through the pressure cooker to distill. Good stuff, barely smells or
anything, and no hangover."
"My neighbor distills twice,” said the one Fyodor
surmised was Slava. “He's a chemist, so he has all this equipment-Bunsen
burners, and what not. And those twisty glass tubes."
"With the cooker you don't have to distill
twice,” the ex-boxer said. “It comes clean the first time. Or you could just
make wine-saves the trouble."
"Grapes are expensive, though,” another thug
said.
The ex-boxer waved his hand dismissively. “Use
raisins,” he said. “I don't get why they're cheaper than grapes, but there you
go. More sugar per kilo, too."
Fyodor studied the man he assumed was Slava-younger
than his companions and slim in a way that suggested erratic eating habits
rather than a vigorous exercise regimen, he looked
like the brains of the concern rather than its muscle.
Slava seemed distracted-he often glanced at his heavy
metal watch that clanged with a quiet satisfaction of wealth, and rubbed his
face, flashing several large rings every time he raised his hand. Fyodor
noticed a slight trembling of his thin fingers, pale as the cuff of his
cream-colored shirt. The cuff slid back, exposing what Fyodor took for a
tattoo-a dark triangle surrounding three circles-and Slava pulled it up
hastily. He looked up and Fyodor barely had time to look away. The afterimage
lingered, and he whispered to Oksana, “Did you see that tattoo?"
"It's not a tattoo,” she whispered back through a
mouthful of meat and cilantro. “It's a burn."
"How do you know?"
She shrugged, chewing with great energy. “Looks… like…
it.” She didn't eat her bread, but instead stuffed bits of it up her sleeves,
where they disappeared with alacrity. The rats were hungry too. She passed
Fyodor a slice, and he offered it to the rats that settled like a warm,
breathing shroud around
his middle, concealed by the coat but giving him a
paunchy appearance.
The thugs ate in silence now, hurried along by the
impatient glances and sighs of their leader.
Oksana whispered into her sleeve, and one of the
smaller rats plopped to the floor, apparently climbing out of her boot.
Fyodor looked around, worried, but no one but him had
noticed the brown streak of fur crossing the linoleum floor decorated with
puddles of melted snow and dirt, and darting under the thug's table. Fyodor
held his breath as the little rat, following Oksana's instructions, climbed up
the chair leg and slid into the seat next to Slava. He seemed too preoccupied
to notice the pink twitching nose and two small, strangely human hands
examining the contents of his pocket. The rat had to duck as he opened his
jacket and extracted a wallet from the inner pocket.
The thugs paid and exited, still talking about the
relative advantages of sugar over raisins. Fyodor and Oksana waited for the
door to slam closed, before paying for their meal. The rat had darted back, its
head held high and something glistening in its mouth.
Oksana bent down to collect the reconnaissance rat
onto her palm. She plucked the small round object from its mouth, and gave it
to Fyodor.
A small sphere of green lunar glass rolled in his
palm, warm and a bit wet. He thought he felt it pulsing with a suppressed
breath and heaving of life, and he shuddered trying to imagine what it would be
like, having one's soul encased in a tiny glass cocoon like a fly in amber.
They returned to Kolomenskoe. The traffic must've been
bad-the thugs barely overtook them. Fyodor saw them from across the street of
the park's central entrance, exiting the maroon Merc that matched their
jackets, and stretching their legs.
"There's just no point in driving in Moscow,”
Fyodor said.
"It's not about speed,” Oksana said. “It's about
being able to afford not to take the subway."
At this moment, Fyodor acutely missed the good old
Soviet days, when everyone was poor enough for the subway, except a few
apparatchiks with government-issued black shiny Volgas. He remembered his
stepfather being keenly suspicious of everyone who had a car, assuming that it
was ill-gotten, through bribery or theft; he was usually right, Fyodor thought,
as much as he disliked agreeing with his stepfather.
He despised him a little too, for being such a working
drudge, for wasting his life in gloomy joyless labor at one factory or another,
never actively hating his job but not liking it either-as if there wasn't
enough life left in him, oppressed by the routine and boredom, to summon even a
shred of enthusiasm for either. As unenviable as Fyodor's life was, he
comforted himself by saying that at least it wasn't as bleak as his
stepfather's. He had no notion of where his actual father might be, but hoped
for the sake of the man he had never met that it was not dreary.
"We need to find out whose soul this is,” Oksana
said.
"How do we do that?"
She nodded at the pack of jackdaws industriously
pecking at the snow.
"Do you think it'd work?” Fyodor said.
"It worked with Sergey and that
rook,” she said. “We can try it."
"How do we catch one?"
Oksana glanced around to make sure there was no one
watching them; Fyodor thought that to the passersby they were invisible, too
ordinary to draw attention. When she was content that there was no one paying
them any mind, she shook several rats out of her sleeves, and pointed them
toward the birds.
Fyodor was skeptical at first, but the rats were
faster and more organized than he expected. They broke into two groups,
outflanking one of the birds and cutting it off from the rest of the flock.
Just as the bird noticed that it was surrounded and raised its wings, ready to
fly, the rats pounced all at once, like a pride of tiny, well-coordinated
lions. The bird squawked once and was overwhelmed, buried under the shifting
mass of fur and agile tails.
"Don't you eat it,” Oksana called to the rats in
a scolding voice. The snow crunched under her boots as she approached the
fallen bird, still pinned under its attackers. She picked it up, ruffled but
unharmed, and stuck the glass granule into the wide-open beak quivering in
distress.
The bird swallowed hard, working the round foreign
object into its crop. Then the bird spoke.
* * * *
His name was Vladimir, and he used to be a businessman-the
real kind, not one of those thugs and racketeers who only called themselves
businessmen but had never done an honest day's work. Vladimir was among the
brave few who were the first to open co-ops; his manufactured carpets and
pseudo-Persian rugs, and business was good. His story was sad in its
familiarity: at first, there were several gangs extorting and threatening, and
he did what everyone else had to do-he chose the lesser of the many evils that
beset him to rob him blind. Even ‘lesser’ was a relative term. He couldn't
quite distinguish between them, coming and going, robbing and threatening,
brandishing electric irons and pliers, their favored instruments of persuasion
and extraction of assets, confessions and on occasion teeth. They even looked
the same: back in the day before maroon jackets, they all wore their hair
short, their torsos clad in leather jackets. For comfort and freedom of
movement they wore track pants, just like back in the days when their favorite
occupation was forcible shearing of hippies. Vladimir wished that they had
remained on the fringe and never even entered the consciousness of the budding
entrepreneurs, but there they were, fully in view and menacing from every
corner.
He went with Slava because he had the appearance of a
member of the intelligentsia, with his thin fingers and tired but kind eyes,
with his habit of nodding thoughtfully along with the pleadings of his
extortees. He was a reader too, given to quoting from John Stuart Mill and
Jonathan Swift; he was fond of Thomas Mann and Remarque. Vladimir chose him as
his protection-his roof, in the vernacular with which had become
disconcertingly familiar-because if he had to be subordinate to someone, he
wanted that someone to be an educated man. Just a small vanity, he thought.
But there was danger in being under protection of a
man who liked to consider whether personal experience was the limit for one's
imagination, and whether it was possible to invent a truly alien creature, for
example, not just an amalgam of familiar beasts. There was danger in being
subject to someone who wondered whether the dragon on the city's crest was
related to the Komodo dragon it so closely resembled, and if so, when St
Georgiy had a chance to travel to Komodo. The man with imagination could notice
the magic that was seeping into the world, cast for him to notice, like round
shining lures.
"You know about magic?” Oksana said.
The jackdaw flapped its wings. “Of course I do; I did
from the time he first started thinking about it. He borrowed some books from
me-books on Kabbala. My grandmother was a Jewish mystic of some sort. The books
were old though; valuable. I knew nothing about that crap, just had no interest
in it at all."
"But now you do,” Fyodor said. He glanced around, making sure that no one
eavesdropped on his conversation with the bird. “Tell me, why do they come
here?"
"That I don't know,” Vladimir said. “But if you want to follow them, now's the time.” He pointed
his wing at the three men who finished their stretching, smoking and leisurely
conversation, and headed down the freshly plowed path.
"We know where they're going,” Oksana said. “What
did Kabbala have to do with it?"
"From what I understand,” Vladimir said, “he
wanted to learn magic. Kabbala seemed like a good place to start; he even got
some symbols branded into him. It didn't give him any abilities, but he said
that it was like a sign for the forces from the other side to find him."
"What forces?” Fyodor asked, feeling the fine
hairs on his neck prickle.
"You know,” the jackdaw said. It didn't actually
shrug, but Fyodor imagined that it did. “The
usual-Satan or whoever, I guess."
"All right,” Oksana said, and tugged on Fyodor's
sleeve. “Let's go check out the cabin."
"Thanks for putting me into a bird,” Vladimir
said, “but… would it be possible to maybe make me human again?"
"We don't know any magic,” Oksana said. “I
suppose if were to put your soulstone into a person…"
"I doubt it,” Fyodor said, and started down the
path after the thugs who had by then disappeared from view. “We do know someone
who might be able to help you, though. If you help us, we'll talk to him on
your behalf."
"That would be acceptable,” the jackdaw said. “Very satisfactory, in fact.” The jackdaw settled on
Fyodor's shoulder. “Is there anything else I can help you with? And where are
we going, by the way?"
"Peter the Great's cabin,” Oksana said.
“Meanwhile, do you know anything about people turning into birds?"
"Of course,” Vladimir said matter-of-factly.
“Everyone who pays attention knows. The cops were looking for all the people
who went missing. Where I live, Biryulevo, one of our cops disappeared too. The
rest of them lost their heads over it, interrogated
every Chechen and Georgian and illegal they could get their hands on. They
started asking business people, too-who disappeared, why, that sort of thing.
No one wants to cross the racketeers, but people know. They see the gang
strutting by, and the next thing you know your mate is flapping his wings… I
was sort of hoping for that fate when they came for me. Always
wanted to fly, ever since I was a kid."
"Who didn't?” Fyodor muttered.
Who didn't indeed. Even now,
quite free if the delusions of childhood, he occasionally dreamt about flying.
He never rose far above the ground nowadays, hovering just above the nodding
stems of autumn grass. He always flew over the grass fields in his dreams, a
cartoon yellow from one horizon to the other, nodding, whispering.
If he closed his eyes, he could hear the rustling of one stem against the next, he could feel their stiff bristles trailing against
his bare toes and fingers.
He snapped back to the crunching of snow when they
heard the voices coming from the cabin. The sun was setting already, long tree
shadows stretching long and blue, undulating across snow drifts and hollows.
Still it was too light to approach the cabin; they stopped, and a moment later
the voices inside stopped too.
"Did you hear anything?” said one of the men
inside.
"Spies,” answered a rustling, despicable voice;
it felt like the scratching of a nail across a windowpane. “Go get them."
There was nowhere to run, and Fyodor turned to Oksana
for support.
She faltered and then whistled; the rats poured from
her and Fyodor's sleeves, came running from the cabin.
There were so many of them-Fyodor thought that the wild rats joined them too,
subject to Oksana's peculiar charm. Rat on rat, column on
column.
Three maroon jackets stood in the cabin's doorway,
their eyes troubled. Guns glinted in their
hands, but they didn't shoot, as transfixed by the rats’
performance-tail twisting with tail, hands holding hands-as Fyodor. They didn't
shoot even when a bear made of rats stood to its full height, raised its arms,
and stepped toward the cabin.
16: One-Eyed Likho
The soldiers went about their business outside-Galina
heard their footsteps, accompanied by the cheerful clinks of their spurs
against the cobbles of the yard.
Timur-Bey shook his head in disapproval. “Tearing up
their horses’ sides, that's not good. Horse is a clever animal. It's like
spurring your child."
"I don't know about that,” Yakov replied. “Be
quiet-I'm trying to hear what's going on."
The voices that reached them were muffled, the words indistinguishable.
And then there were other sounds-scratching and awful quiet slurping, and
whispers like icy needles. Galina bit down on the knuckle of her index finger,
trying to keep herself from screaming and running in blind terror.
The terrible sounds-she didn't dare to imagine their
source, but she knew without verbalizing it that the calamity outside was not
human-drew closer. It was as if someone was licking the door of the barn with a
scratchy yet wet gigantic tongue. Stories, stories forgotten out of fear when
she was still a child, flooded her memory, as fresh as years ago. The witch
that licked through oven doors made of seven layers of cast iron. Creatures with tongues hanging down to their withered breasts,
their claws finding the eyes of their children-victims with the unflinching
accuracy of fate. Words like needles, eyes like coals.
The snuffling by the door. A giant wet nose pressed against the treacherous
boards, sniffing out the human flesh inside. Hot fetid breath reached her face
through the gaps between the wooden planks, bathing it in a stench of rotten
onions. She bit harder in order not to gag.
Even Zemun seemed scared-her massive body pressed into
Galina, seeking comfort and almost toppling her. She pushed back, and the
warmth and the milky smell of the cowhide momentarily comforted her. She
wondered what was inside Zemun-was it real flesh or
just stars? If one were to poke a hole in her white hide, would the blinding
light spill out, burning everything in its proximity to hot astral cinders?
And then, just like that, something burst through the
boards, like a blast from a sawed-off shotgun. Galina saw spread claws and a
giant eye, burning like the stormy anxious sun, and she felt a knock on her
chest, an impact throwing her to the ground. Yakov and Timur-Bey grabbed at the
intruder, and Zemun's hooves beat the air as she reared up. Her horns tilted
and threw the attacker against the wall. He landed with a dull thump and Galina
sat up, her breath ragged and wheezing.
The creature was smaller than she had originally
thought-it was human-sized, but with sharp talons and tufts of feathers on
wrists covered with puckered livid skin. Its lipless mouth twisted, baring
large yellow teeth square like the grid of a chessboard. Its single eye blazed
from the middle of its forehead, and Galina realized who had just laid hands on
her.
Zemun spoke first. “One-Eyed Likho,” she said. “I
thought we were rid of you two."
Galina heard the stories about Likho and its
companion, Zlyden. She knew these two parasitic entities, the embodiments of
bad fortune, that attached themselves to their victim
until the victim lost
everything and was eventually killed by the sheer constellation
of bad luck.
Likho breathed heavily. “Stupid cow,” it said in a
rasping voice. “You think putting me into a barrel and throwing me into a river
would get rid of me? There's always some poor fool who will open it. People
can't stand closed barrels and chests and boxes-haven't you learned that?"
"Those soldiers let you out then,” Koschey said. “Stupid mortals."
"Yes, they did,” Likho gloated. “And we stuck to
them, stuck to them like tar to fur. We followed them home,
only they were dead and dumb, stuck on the wrong side of the river, never to find
their kin, never to find your stupid little town. Too dead to know what bad
luck is."
"Why are you staying with them then?” Timur-Bey
asked. “And why the birds?"
Likho gave a small, demented titter. “Too curious and yet too blind. Blind like Berendey-stupid
old man, thought he could lure us back into a barrel. But we changed his luck,
changed his luck. And your luck will change too, you two-insane girl, lazy cop.
You'll have it so bad you'll think you had it good before."
The soldiers crowded the doorway, muskets at the
ready.
Zemun lowed and shook her head at them. “You don't
have to do what Likho and Zlyden tell you to."
"Yes, we do,” said the Corporal. “They promised
us life, they promised us that we will walk the earth again, escape this tepid
hell and live again. They promised us eyes and wings of birds that fly, that
see…"
As his voice trailed off and his musket lowered, its
bayonet leveling at Yakov's chest, he stepped forward. The embrasure left where
the door used to be let in the scant light, and Galina's gaze followed the
upward sweep of the palace wall outside. The roof was too high above to see it,
but she could imagine it, crusted over with the black mass of poor displaced
birds. “Masha!” she screamed.
The soldiers stepped closer but stopped, unsure
whether they should do anything-after all, she was not fighting them, but
calling. “Masha, Masha!"
A thunderous clapping of wings and cawing answered
her, the birds startled by her screams. She could picture them, circling,
crying out-and then they came, pouring in a feathered stream, black as pitch,
through the doorway.
The birds seemed confused as they attacked the
soldiers, then turned on Galina and her friends. Zemun
chased the flapping birds away with flicks of her tail, unimpressed by their
sharp beaks and shiny eyes. Yakov just covered his head with his folded arms,
but looked up into the cloud of birds, as did Galina, both of them searching
for the impossible recognition-every jackdaw looked the same as any other,
every crow was the same too. Maybe Masha was among them, maybe not. And she
suspected that Yakov was hoping to see his pet crow Carl, and perhaps ask his
forgiveness.
She peeked between the fingers protecting her eyes,
and saw that the soldiers chased the birds away with their muskets, even
knocking some out of the air with the stocks. There were feathers fluttering
through the air. One of them, shiny-black, spun past her face like a miniature
helicopter rotor.
"Please,” Galina whispered to the spinning
feather, even as rough hands and wooden musket stocks pushed her through the
doorway, “please don't let me die before finding you. Please don't let them
kill me before I talk to you again.” She whispered to the feather until it hit
the ground, like it was
a falling star.
* * * *
"Of course they're not going to kill us,” Yakov
said. “Weren't you listening? Why would they kill us if they can just drain our
luck? Use your brain, for once."
Galina bit her lip and didn't answer. Ever since they
had been ushered into the palace, all the while fending off frenzied,
screeching birds, Yakov had seemed unsettled. His usual apathetic demeanor was
replaced with irritability and occasional vicious malice.
The room they currently occupied was a bona fide
dun-geon-underground, with a crisscrossing of thick beams, a heavy bolted door
and a stern tiny window in the door, guarded by iron bars. There was plenty of
straw to sleep on and a dim light in which Yakov's face seemed haunted and
angry. Perhaps it's just the beard, Galina thought, giving him that hungry,
desperate countenance. But his angry words still rang in her ears, and she
retreated to a corner, wishing nothing better than to bury herself
in the straw and disappear.
Yakov paced the room. “I can't believe it,” he said.
“This place… they plunder everything you believe, then
they take your memories, and now our luck. What kind of place is this?"
"Elena said it wasn't supposed to be a utopia,”
Galina said.
Yakov shook his head and continued pacing. “Where did
they take Zemun and the rest?"
"I don't know,” Galina said.
"Well, think!"
She dug herself into the straw and hugged her knees to
her chest. She would've killed for a bath about now, and for an opportunity to
be alone just for a little while. With Yakov acting like that, she couldn't
concentrate on anything. She felt irrelevant and small, just like she did when
a teacher quizzed her in front of the class and she couldn't get any answers
right, and the more she scrambled the more she messed up. She felt like crying.
“I don't know,” she repeated. “Stop talking to me like
this."
He stopped and spun around. “Like what?"
"Like this,” she repeated. “You keep acting like
it's my fault."
"And it's not?"
She shook her head in disbelief. “You're the cop
here."
"And I was doing my job. I was doing it well,
thanks, and then you showed up and dragged me to meet your crazy friend who
nevertheless was smart enough to stay out of this little adventure, and then we
all are here. How do you know your sister is here? How do you know this
kerfuffle has anything to do with us?"
"The birds…” she started.
"Yes, yes, I know. The birds are everywhere. And
how does it help?"
"They are their eyes,” she said. “They see
everything. Maybe if we could find a way to learn what the birds know…"
"And how do we do that?"
Galina sat up, straightening. “Do you have any food
left?"
"No. Well, just a bit of that awful fruitcake
David made.” A brief smile lit his bearded face
when he thought of his grandfather, and Galina felt a pang
of guilt at denying him this reunion.
"This will do,” she said. She took the sticky
slice covered in lint and grime from Yakov's calloused fingers. Her father used
to have hands like that, she remembered. Hard and tough as
leather, and she had thought that all men had hands like that. She
remembered her surprise when she shook hands with one of her mother's
coworkers, and discovered that his hands were soft, feminine. In fact, she soon
learned that very few people had hands like her father; that was one of the
very few things she remembered about him still.
She kneeled by the grate in the door and crumbled the
fruitcake on the floor, cooing gently. If she craned her neck, she could see
the length of the corridor outside and at the end of it the small embrasure of
a window too small for a person but large enough for a bird. “Come on,” she
cooed. “Come, little birds, I have a nice cake for you."
A bird perched on the sill of the tiny window, its
black feathers slicked and its head cocked, the black shining bead of an eye
trained on the bits of fruitcake strewn on the floor.
"It's no use,” Yakov said. “It's not going to
come."
"And how do you know that?” Galina asked without
turning.
"We have no luck,” Yakov said. “Don't you get it?
When Likho and Zlyden are both around, we have no chance. Any time anything can
go wrong, it will."
Galina didn't answer and crouched lower. Her fingers
grew numb from crumbling the cake; it crumbled and crumbled and turned to fine
dust.
They used to feed pigeons, she and Masha; Masha was
only little then, and for some reason she wanted nothing better than a pet
pigeon. Galina smiled, remembering the wooden crate they found by the back door
of the neighborhood liquor store, and how it smelled of fresh wood shavings and
sour spilled beer; how they found a stick and borrowed a ball of yarn from one
of the morose old ladies who liked to knit sitting on the bench by the entrance
of their apartment building. Of how they propped the crate up with a stick
wrapped in bright cerulean yarn and crumbled day-old bread under it. How they
waited, breathless and giggly, for the pigeons to crowd under the crate, as if
impatient to be caught.
Galina wished to feel like she felt that day-a bit
flustered and apologetic, ready with excuses for any grownup who would question
their purpose in trapping the pigeons, but happy with anticipation, happy that
her little sister looked at her with such admiration, was so impressed that
Galina, generally useless and awkward, was in possession of such arcana as building
pigeon traps. Usually Masha, only five at a time, treated
Galina with the kindness and sensitivity extended by adults to ailing children.
Galina was not ungrateful-on the contrary she was convinced that Masha was the
only person under the sun generous enough to love the unlovable-but she
cherished the rare glimpses of memories where she was competent.
She frowned when she remembered the pigeon they
managed to trap in the frantic scattering of other birds and the heavy thud of
the crate, how the bird flapped against the wooden slats of
its prison, almost lifting the crate off the ground. The crate hopped on
the pungent heated asphalt if the yard as if possessed, and they laughed
guiltily, and hurried to examine their prisoner. It was an average enough
pigeon, gray under most circumstances but blooming with greens and purples,
like an oil slick on a puddle, when the sun rays struck its feathers at the
proper angle. Masha seemed pleased and stroked the bird. “Its heart is beating
so hard,” she said. “I can feel it jumping on my fingers."
It was then that Galina noticed that the
bird was not quite right-its feet, clawed and leathery and reptilian, seemed
bigger than they were supposed to be, a swollen purple in color.
Masha noticed too, and gasped. “Look,” she said, and
pointed at a dirty bit of thin string dangling from one of the pigeon's feet,
and cried. Galina tried not to cry too when she realized that someone-probably
the boys who terrorized the local stray cats and spent most of their time
playing in the concrete pipes of the nearby construction site-had trapped this
bird before, bound it with string and flown it like a kite. The string was tied
too tight and cut off the circulation in the bird's feet-this is why it was so
easy to trap the second time.
Galina wiped Masha's tears and led her home, the poor
bird still nestled in her hands, not fighting its capture anymore. The bird
with the swollen feet lying passively in the five-year-old's open palms stood
clear in her mind, as perfect an image of defeat as she could wish for. They
tried to remove the string, but the swelling was too great-the scaly skin
bunched over it, and the pigeon trembled every time they touched its injured
feet. Soon, it couldn't stand, and they took the bus to the vet clinic. The
pigeon died on the bus and they saw no point in getting off but traveled to the
final stop and waited for the bus to turn around and take them back home. They
buried the pigeon in the remaining orchard patch, and never tried to trap
another one again.
The bird on the sill hopped onto the floor of the
corridor, hesitant, studying Galina and the crumbled fruitcake with one eye,
then the other.
"Just be still,” Galina whispered to Yakov.
“Please, I beg you, be still."
He didn't answer but stopped his pacing. Galina
couldn't see his face, but she imagined he watched the bird's reluctant
progress and frequent backtracking with the same intensity as she.
The bird pecked at the crumbs tentatively, glancing
sideways at Galina's hand resting on the floor palm up.
"It's all right,” Galina whispered. “Go ahead,
eat."
The bird did, its neck bobbing with each peck. Its
crop swelled with fruitcake, and the bird appeared thoroughly absorbed in its
dinner. Galina moved her hand, centimeter by centimeter, until it almost
touched the bird's foot. The bird stopped pecking and studied the hand that
again came to rest on the floor.
Galina chewed her lips, feeling the dry skin peel
under her teeth, giving way to tender flesh and pungent wet blood. “Don't
move,” she whispered, “be still."
The bird hesitated, and Galina lunged. She hit her
head on the metal bars of the door-she had forgotten they were there, and the
impact made her cringe with pain. Her hand grasped at the bird and brushed
against the wing just as the startled bird took flight, avoiding capture
without much effort. It disappeared through the embrasure of the window at the
end of the hallway, and still Galina grasped at empty air, her overextended arm
aching in its socket, creaking at the elbow. She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"It's gone,” Yakov said. “Don't feel bad-you
almost got it."
"Almost is never good enough,” she whispered.
That's what her mother used to say anyway.
"What would you have done with that bird?” Yakov
said. “Think about it-if Likho can talk to the birds, it doesn't mean you can
do the same."
"We have to try,” she said. “What,
you want to rot here?"
Yakov opened his mouth to answer but a flapping of
wings interrupted them. A fat white rook squeezed through the window and
half-fell, half-fluttered to the floor. In short hops it approached the cell.
"Finally,” it said. “It took me forever to find
you."
"Sergey!” Galina picked the bird up and cradled
it, resisting the urge to give it a kiss. “How'd you find us? Why did they let
you go?"
"I played dumb,” the rook said, and even its
high-pitched bird voice couldn't hide its self-satisfaction. “They didn't think
I was important enough to chase-they were talking to Zemun and Koschey."
"What about Timur-Bey?” Galina asked.
"Him? I don't know. He's human, so they probably put him
somewhere to get to his luck, if he has any left after all these years
underground.” Sergey chuckled, pleased with his wit. “So I went to look for
you, but you'll never believe what else I found."
* * * *
Sergey couldn't fly, since his clipped wings were
useful enough to buffer a fall but too short and ragged to support real flight.
He hopped and fluttered his way out of the barn and into the first-story window
of the palace; there, he traveled from one room to the next. He found many
birds and a few more soldiers, some of them French. All of them paid him no
mind and he soon discovered why-albino birds perched on windowsills, mingling
with black-feathered newcomers, and pecked at the fruit in the tree branches
outside. Sergey still found it strange to think of himself as a bird, but he
had to admit that in this case it was handy, a perfect disguise. He hopped
across the hardwood floors and hand-woven runners striped in red, yellow and
blue; he flitted awkwardly up onto the sills and out to the balconies, hopped
up the winding staircases, lost direction in the endless corridors and
galleries of empty rooms inhabited only by dust bunnies. He stopped caring
after a while if he came into the same room as before, and wasn't particularly
sure if he was moving up or down.
He didn't remember how he arrived at the entrance of
one of the seven towers; he only knew that he had to crane his neck to see the
next turn of the wide staircase that swept up and to the left, its steps
stacked at a slight angle so that it took them a whole floor to turn all the
way around. He hopped upwards, thinking that only a really tall tower would
have a staircase with such slow turns. He spiraled upwards, occasionally zoning
out and thinking that he was still guarding a silo, still in his human form,
and that his corporal had sent him to fetch something from the storage
facility. Then he came to and saw that the sun was setting, and then it rose
again-funny things happened to time on that staircase.
It was then that he heard the singing. The voice
sounded small and ragged, and stopped often to gulp air in large noisy
swallows, and resumed again, trembling, weak and uncertain. At first, he
imagined a child, a sick child perhaps, a little boy with asthma who passed the
time in his sickbed by pretending to be in a church choir. Then another voice
joined the first, and a feeble duet echoed in the stairwell. The third
attempted to sing but coughed, wailed and dissolved into sobs before falling
quiet again.
Sergey hurried up the stairs. The voices didn't sound
like Likho or its soldiers, and he decided that there were prisoners. They
didn't sound like Zemun or Koschey, or even Galina for that matter, but he
hurried, hoping to find out who it was that sang so piteously.
At the top of the staircase there was a single door
with a narrow slot at the bottom. Sergey squeezed through the opening with some
effort; his biggest worry was to encounter a cat or to be forcibly ejected by
the inhabitants, but he did not expect to feel such fierce pity and anger.
At first, he thought that he was looking at three
naked women chained to the wall; whatever small sordid joy might've stirred in
his heart at the sight of female bondage had evaporated as soon as he saw the
long bloodied bruises on the wrists of narrow fingerless hands, the drooping
narrow breasts and the bird's feet so swollen that puckered flesh
half-concealed the manacles. The faces that reminded him of
Byzantine saints and angels-with large dark eyes that took up half of these
narrow faces, the fine-boned Eastern cheeks that tapered into small sharp
chins, and small but perfect lips half-opened in suffering.
Then he noticed that their naked bodies were shapeless
sacks, reminiscent of plucked chickens, and he realized with a start that they
were the bodies of birds-picked clean of feathers, with just a few downy tufts
and jutting feather shafts remaining in place.
"Who are you?” he whispered to the bird-women.
One by one they lifted their faces, their eyes
half-hidden under heavy dark eyelids, and whispered in turn, “Alkonost,”
“Sirin,” “Gamayun."
17: Alkonost, Sirin,
Gamayun
Yakov interrupted. “What happened next?"
Sergey ruffled his feathers. “I would've told you
already if you hadn't interrupted me. So just listen, yeah?"
Yakov nodded and kept quiet.
Sergey continued with the tale-how he froze to the
floor by the door, unable to turn away or rush forward to help, paralyzed by a
mix of terror, revulsion, and pity. How he also grew acutely aware of his own
small and fat bird body, and imagined what his wings would look like
naked-handless sticks covered in blue puckering skin-how he shuddered.
The dark Byzantine eyes watched him from the wall,
drawing him in, and he was unable to look away at the rest of the room, just
their eyes and bloody manacles holding the unspeakable, unimaginable
abominations.
"Why are you here?” he croaked finally. “What are
they doing to you? Why…” He wanted to ask why they were naked, but thought
better of it. “What happened to your feathers?"
"They took them,” Sirin said in a halting but
sweet voice, and her lips trembled. “They took them to make into charms, to
give to evil men."
"They grow back,” Alkonost added, “but they take them
again."
"You will die twice,” Gamayun hissed, her eyes
burning with insuppressible madness.
"Can I do anything to help?” Sergey whispered.
Sadness filled him as no feeling had ever done; he thought that it was the
first time in his life that he truly felt something. He wanted nothing more
than to help them.
"Take my last feather.” Alkonost shifted
awkwardly, turning to expose her flank, naked but for a single small white
feather. “It's a charm."
"What does it do?"
"I don't know.” Alkonost bit her lip and almost
cried. There was nothing majestic about her now.
"Take mine too,” Sirin said, and twisted, moving
her heavy body to the side, exposing the dusty-gray feather in the hollow under
her wing. “It's a spell."
"Take them all!” Gamayun struggled against her
bonds wildly, drawing blood from her ankles and wrists. “Take my curse, take my
hate, take everything we got, but stop this
degradation.” When she ceased struggling and hung helpless and exhausted
against her manacles, her head on her chest, Sergey saw the black smudge of a
feather in the nape of her neck.
He collected the three feathers, and stopped in the
doorway. It seemed impossible to leave them like this. “I'll come back for
you,” he said. “I promise."
The three bird-women said nothing; Alkonost started
with her song again, a childish lullaby Sergey had heard too many years ago to
remember the words of, but the melody stirred his heart with
an unfamiliar longing for the happy time without
responsibility, for the time when he could be tucked under the thick quilted
blanket and no worry could touch him there. He swallowed the bile rising in his
throat and squeezed through the slit in the door. He felt lighter somehow,
emptier.
He moved his wings, trying to explain. “It's like
this, see,” he said. “Nothing will ever be the same again. It's like my life
broke in half. Do you know what I mean?"
Yakov nodded. He did. He knew the distinct before and
after, he felt the rift that cleaved his life in two separate and
irreconcilable parts, where he felt that one had nothing to do with the other;
he was a different man now, and he felt like throwing himself on the cold floor
of his prison and weeping and striking his fists against the boards when he
thought that this rift, this separator, this memory had been pried out of his
soul by the bony spirit fingers of the boatman.
"Where are the feathers?” Galina asked.
Sergey smirked and lifted his wings. There, among his own dirty-white feathers, there was a brilliantly white
one, a gray one, and a black one, their shafts entangled securely in his down.
Yakov picked them out, his stubby fingers particularly
ungraceful, and studied the feathers. “What do we do with them?"
"A charm, a spell and a curse,” Galina said.
Yakov sighed and closed his fist. “What does it even
mean? Everyone here speaks in stupid riddles, like if throwing words together
would somehow give them meaning. Well, it doesn't; it's all gibberish to me. So
don't you start talking like that, like you know what's going on."
"Don't tell me what to do and how to talk.”
Galina almost snarled at him. “Who do you think you are? I'm not your wife, so
you don't snap at me every time something goes wrong."
He shrugged and handed her the feathers. “You figure
this one out then."
Galina studied the feathers on her palm, tilting it
sideways to catch the light from the window in the end of the hallway. She
looked as perplexed as Yakov felt, and he had to suppress a smirk of
satisfaction. “A charm or a spell?” Galina mused. “And
do any of you remember any fairytales with feathers?"
"Just with flower petals,” Sergey said. “Remember
the one about the seven-colored flower?"
Galina grinned. “Sure do. ‘Fly
little petal from east to west, from north to south, and come back around, make
my wish come true when you touch the ground.’”
"That's the one,” Sergey squawked, pleased.
“Think it'll work?"
"Not the chant,” Galina answered, “But let's see what happens when they touch the ground.” She loosened
her fingers, and all three of them watched as the feathers drifted down to the
floor and came to rest, the fine silken fibers wavering in the gentle draft
coming from the window at the end of the hallway.
They waited a while; the feathers remained motionless.
"Screw this,” Yakov said. “Let's get out of here,
find Koschey, and see if he knows what that's all about."
"We can't leave,” Galina said, and pointed at the
door. As if he were stupid.
"Sergey,” Yakov said. “Can you get
to the lock?"
"Hold on,” the rook said, and waddled outside
through the slot in the bottom of the door. They heard it scraping and panting;
an occasional thud signified a fall.
"I can't reach it,” Sergey informed them, poking
his head through the opening. “If you could give me a boost-but even then I
don't know if I'm strong enough."
"I am,” Yakov said, and lay down on the floor. He
squeezed his arm through the opening and waited for the rook to step on his
open hand. Once the clawed cold bird fingers wound around his thumb, he turned
on his right side, bending his arm upward.
"Just a bit more,” Sergey instructed. “There. I'm
touching it with my beak.” There was more scraping and clanging of metal.
“Can't do it-the lock's too strong."
"Put your beak next to the tumbler,” Yakov said.
“Does it go right or left?"
"Left,” Sergey said. “Just be careful."
Yakov grasped the bird's legs and put all the strength
of his arm into forcing the internal tumbler aside. He worked blind, and his
heavy breathing was the only sound in the cell. Sergey was a trooper-Yakov
could feel how stiff the rook was, how hard he tried to remain motionless and
rigid.
A sharp crack startled Yakov-at first, he thought that
Sergey's beak had broken. Galina jumped to the door and pushed it outward, and
it gave. Yakov released the bird, picked up the magic feathers, and jumped to
his feet. “Are you all right?” he asked Sergey.
"Fine,” he answered from the outside. “Just a little sore. Come on, I'll show you the way."
* * * *
Yakov was not fond of violence; he approached it as
something one needed to be stoic about, never deriving either pleasure or
distaste from it. He tried to maintain the same perspective once they rounded
the corner and encountered one of the Napoleonic soldiers; this one was French.
He looked at Yakov with very round, very pale eyes, and his mouth mimicked
their round shape. He reached for his musket, but Yakov knocked him to the
ground with a single economical punch before he could level his piece.
"What should we do with him?” Galina said,
looking at the soldier with a worried, almost pitying expression. “We are not
going to just leave him here, are we?"
Yakov shrugged. “What else can we do? I'm not carrying
him.” He stared at the soldier's waxen face, his concave closed eyelids shot
through with a multitude of veins, fine like cracks on a porcelain cup. “He'll
be all right.” In truth, the soldier didn't look like he would be all
right-none of them did. They all looked deader than dead, and that didn't sit
well with him. Everyone else was alive in here-or at least they seemed to think
so. What if they weren't, though? What if he were dead too?
Yakov shook his head and smiled, and followed the
rook, which danced and hopped impatiently, down the wooden hall. He wasn't
dead; this wasn't some stupid story they used to tell as kids by the campfire,
during the blue and endless nights at the summer camp. He still remembered
them-stupidities and non-sequiturs, man-eating furniture and menacing but
unforgivably dumb serial killers. And dead people who didn't know they were
dead until someone told then that they were, and then they crumbled into dust.
Even as an adult he remembered the chilled shivers that crawled down his collar
then, induced not so much by the stories themselves but by the darkness and the
overall mood of joyful conspiracy, the conspiracy of being voluntarily scared,
of faking the emotion until it became true.
"Here.” Sergey stopped in front of a door, and
Yakov looked back, dismayed to realize that they hadn't traveled far, just
turned the corner and gone a bit down the corridor that seemed to run around
the entire perimeter of the palace.
"You knew they were here the whole time?” Galina
asked. “Why didn't you give the feathers to them?"
Sergey puffed out his bird chest. “'Cause.
You're people, you're my folk. These fairytale things-not so
much."
"You're a fairytale thing,” Galina said. “You're
a talking bird."
"Regular birds can talk too,” Sergey said.
“Besides, I'm not really a bird."
"Your feathers beg to differ,” Yakov said. “Come
on, get in there."
The slot on this door was located higher than on the
one that imprisoned them previously. Yakov picked Sergey up and unceremoniously
shoved him inside; he looked through the slot, but could see only darkness and
dilute shimmer. A weak scent of grass and milk told him that Zemun was indeed
in there.
"Look,” Koschey's crackling voice said, “it's
that reanimated corpse from the surface."
"Don't call him that,” said Zemun. “Don't you
think one might not want to be reminded of one's mortality?"
"I wouldn't know anything about that,” Koschey
said with an audible sneer. “What do you
bring us, rook?"
"Feathers,” Yakov said, pressing his lips to the
slot in the door. “From Alkonost and company. Do you
know what to do with them?"
There was some gasping and whispering inside.
Yakov sighed and fiddled with the lock-a simple thing,
easily overcome with any narrow tool. “Do you have any pins on you?” he asked
Galina.
She dug through the pockets of her jeans-the same ones
she'd been wearing when they first came here; Yakov realized that his own
clothes were also filthy, and wondered why it bothered him so little.
"Here.” Galina offered a slender bobby pin on the
open palm of her right hand.
He studied it a while, a thin black piece of metal
nestled into the deep furrow of her life line. It seemed so out of context
here, it didn't belong. They were in a wooden corridor in some medieval palace,
with nothing but pale unearthly light for company; they were underground, in a
place that was below the river and the subways and secret KGB bunkers, the
place that was so far below as to not exist, for all reasonable purposes. Bobby
pins did not belong. Still, he jammed it into the lock, shifting the tumblers
inside-easier this time, since he didn't have to work blind. He stuck out his
tongue, self-consciously, because he remembered since childhood that it helped.
Breathing heavily, tongue out, he concentrated on his
work until the tumblers shifted and Galina tapped his shoulder.
"What?” His voice came out more irritable than he
meant.
"Look,” she whispered.
He did. More soldiers, of course, and one of them
carried a child on its shoulders-a horrible malformed child that grasped the
soldier's neck with its claw-like hands, its heels cruelly digging into the
man's sides, bunching his uniform. Yakov recognized him for the legendary
Zlyden. The group exuded the smell of old ash and sour milk, and Yakov never
wished for anything more than to be away from them.
The horrible child whined, kicking the soldiers and
urging them on. It flailed and bit the ear of his visibly annoyed mount.
Yakov felt something shift inside his soul at the
sound of the child's crying. Why wouldn't it stop, why wouldn't it just shut up
and be quiet, why did it have to mete out the dull torment of its sniffling and
sobbing, fits and starts, deceptive and momentary silences that were quickly
displaced by resumed crying? And the only thing that was stopping him from
crying out now-Shut up, shut up, or I'll-was a sudden unexplained fear that the
voice would fall silent in compliance with his unsaid wishes, and…?
"Do something,” Galina hissed into his ear before
he could complete the terrible thought, and the threads fell apart again, like
the pieces in a kaleidoscope, nothing but trash, ghastly bits of the
soul-crushing toy he would never buy for a child.
A strong shove from behind sent him sprawling under
the soldiers’ feet-the door he had forgotten about hit him in the back as it
swung open, and Koschey and Timur-Bey stood in the doorway, ready to quarrel.
Yakov curled up, covering his head with his hands,
expecting a blow. Instead, the soldiers
rushed past him, and the only kick he received was
accidental. He rose to his feet, just in time to witness Timur-Bey reaching
into his wide sleeve and pulling out a long shining blade.
Koschey stood next to him, exceptionally tall and thin
and straight, with a grey feather held in his bony fingers. His hollow cheeks
puffed out in a mockery of a breath; he blew on the feather, all the while
drawing symbols in the air with his left hand.
Yakov had no sense of what was happening; he only knew
enough to rush past the soldiers (he tried not to look at Zlyden), to grab
Galina's elbow and drag her away. He wanted to cover her wide eyes with his
palm, to spare her the sight of the wide flashing arc of Timur-Bey's saber, the
dull glint of the bayonets, and the dark swirling of the air where Koschey
agitated it with his hand.
He pulled her to the wall by the now open cell door,
pressing flat against the wooden planks that still-all these centuries-retained
a faint smell of cedar and pine, a frail and resinous scent. “Don't look,” he
whispered.
She looked, and why wouldn't she? She was a grown-up,
not the imaginary child Yakov was-had been-protecting, in his muddled
imagination; she didn't need to turn away when the bayonets and sabers stabbed
and slashed, leaving the febrile blooms of red carnations in their wake; she
was perfectly capable of watching the air thicken into a gray cloud, Sirin's spell
rumbling inside it with brief lightning flashes, charging the air with the
smell of ozone, heating the wall under their backs and making it breathe forth
an exhalation of resin and summer and wild strawberries.
The cloud surrounded the soldier who carried Zlyden
and grew solid-it seemed a porous resin, a roughly hewn chunk of cement. As it
solidified, the rest of the soldiers, many of them bleeding, stepped away from
it, confused. There was no sign of Likho, and Yakov sensed that without their
guardians the soldiers were timid.
Yakov stepped forward, holding up his palm to the
fray. To his surprise, even Timur-Bey stepped back and wiped his saber on his
sleeve. “Citizens,” he said to the soldiers, “you're under arrest for
disturbing the peace. Please surrender your weapons."
"No,” one of the soldiers said. “Why should we
listen to you?” His gaze traveled to one of his comrades bleeding on the
ground, his blood, surprisingly real, soaking into the green wool of his
uniform, staining it black.
How many times could the dead die? Yakov thought. A
lot, the answer came to him. The dead always die, every time the living think
of them dying, like the child crying in the crib who fell silent and resumed
again-he died over and over, killed by the mere thought, only to come back to
life and cry and die again. Just like the soldier of the long-ago war who kept
falling, in slow motion, under the bayonet, under the bullet, under the blade
of a saber; the soldier who slipped in his own blood and fell among the red carnations,
again and again. He only lay still when one pinned him with a gaze.
Galina gently nudged him aside. “You should listen to
him,” she said, “because Zlyden and Likho are not here to be listened to. You
traded your luck away, and ours. I'm just looking for my sister and I don't
know if I can find her without any luck, and if you
won't help then at least let us go."
"Or you'll end up like him,” Koschey said and
pointed at the grey blob half-blocking the corridor.
The soldier opened his mouth to answer but his chest
exploded in a loud blast-not carnations but a cavernous red mouth opened in his
chest, fringed with white rib fragments like hungry teeth. A
slow wet hiss came from between his suddenly white lips,
bubbling forth with pink foam. His knees buckled and he fell forward, folding
on his way like a lounge chair.
At first, Yakov thought that Koschey's magic had done
it to the soldier; but Koschey's face expressed as much surprise and shock as
Galina's. Even Zemun and Sergey edged out of the cell where they were wisely
waiting out the altercation, looking for the source of the blast and the
deafening silence that followed.
A careful scattering of footfalls came from behind the
grey boulder that was blocking most of the view; military boots, Yakov guessed.
He gripped Galina's elbow; Koschey's hands knotted into fists, and Timur-Bey
reached for his saber. The confrontation forgotten, the Napoleonic soldiers
turned to face the unknown danger, their shoulders brushing against Timur-Bey's
sleeves and Koschey's outstretched hands, their backs turned on Yakov as if he
was no longer a threat but an ally.
"Don't anyone move,” a
female voice said, and the muzzle of a shotgun peeked from behind the gray
boulder. “What on earth is that thing, anyway?"
Galina shook off Yakov's hand, and rushed forward,
pushing between the soldiers. “Elena!” she called out. “Is that you?"
The Decembrist's wife stepped into view, her black
velvet dress stained with river mud, and the fingernails of her small white
hands marked with half-moons of dirt. She dropped the shotgun she was holding
to her chest on the floor and extended her arms to Galina. The two women hugged
and laughed, oblivious to the blood on the floor.
Elena had not come alone-from behind the gray boulder
of Sirin's spell, several rusalki shod in heavy military boots filed out,
followed by two soldiers circa 1917 or so-Yakov pegged them for Budyonny's
cavalrymen, Cossacks or outlaws (not that there was much of a difference) all.
Revolutionary and war heroes, led by the class enemy and several drowned girls.
Yakov decided not to contemplate further.
"Why did you shoot him?” he asked Elena.
She shot him an irritated look-clearly,
she wanted nothing better than to gab with Galina. “They're traitors,” she
said.
"That is not true!” one of the surviving soldiers
protested.
"Of course it is, Poruchik,” Elena said. “Burned
during the retreat, imagine that! You're forgetting that my husband was leading
your regiment. I know why you stayed behind; I know why you burned-the city
couldn't stand your presence, the deserters. It would rather lose a building
than let you remain inside it. You've abandoned your commander."
The poruchik straightened, his white eyes almost
glowing with anger. “You should talk, you bitch. You were the one who betrayed
him, you didn't do as a good wife was supposed to-you were meant to go to
Siberia with him, so you too deserve to be here in the blasted underground, you
too…"
He didn't finish-Elena picked up the shotgun in a
fluid motion and leveled it on his chest. Yakov took it for bravado, just like
everyone else-the soldiers on Elena's side smirked, the ones opposing her
murmured discontent. A shotgun blast came unanticipated.
"What are you doing?” Yakov yelled as the
poruchik fell into the arms of his comrades, thrown back by the force of the
blast. “Have you lost your mind? He wasn't doing anything!"
Elena shrugged and rested the shotgun on
her naked shoulder. “It wasn't a self-defense killing, Yakov,” she said. “It
was a revenge killing. They killed Berendey and they cost my husband his health
and his soul-he was a broken man after that war; Siberia couldn't do worse than
they."
"They also fed Likho and Zlyden,” Zemun
interjected.
"You can't just go killing people!” Yakov said.
"Sure she can,” Timur-Bey said. He was so quiet
until then, Yakov forgot that he was even there. “We
have no cops here. And we do not like traitors."
"I hate to interrupt the spirited debate on the
nature of justice,” Koschey said. “But I think that perhaps we should take care
of Alkonost and her sisters, and worry about these fried fleshbags later."
The three remaining soldiers obediently went into the
cell vacated by Zemun and the rook; the lock was busted, and two stoic-looking
cavalrymen stayed behind to guard them.
"Wait,” Galina said. “What about my sister? What
about the rest of the people turned into birds?"
Koschey twirled the white feather in his fingers. “I
can help them, but we need to get them to the surface first. I don't want all
these tourists stuck here."
"Isn't this place supposed to be connected to
Kolomenskoe?” Yakov said.
"Yes,” Sergey squawked. “Slava always met them
there, and there has to be some connection. And I think the tower in the east,
that's where the exit is. The birds are in the western one."
"We'll check everything,” Elena said, and
motioned for her small but intimidating army to follow. “Your other friend is
on the surface, and if Father Frost hasn't imagined things in a drunken stupor,
he and his girlfriend were planning to visit Kolomenskoe. Come on, let's get
Gamayun and the rest, find the exit and round up the
birds."
"And find One-Eyed Likho,” Galina added. “Funny
you didn't run into it-him."
Elena nodded, smiling. “That's a lot of things to do,”
she said. “Let's get a move on."
18: Birds
Fyodor did not expect the bear made entirely of rats
to be helpful for much longer-it seemed to work more as a distraction, a quaint
way of buying time. If only he could do something with the time they
bought-running seemed superfluous now, and the only thing that occurred to him
was to shove Oksana into the nearest snowdrift, to protect her from harm that
now seemed inevitable.
Unfortunately, the bear made of rats misinterpreted
his intentions and turned toward him, raising its arms silently and
protectively.
"What the fuck is that thing?” one of the maroon
jackets said.
"It's a bear of some sort,” another answered. “A transformer bear."
"Oh yeah,” the first one said, brightening up.
“My kid has one of those-imported. Good toy."
They watched as Fyodor retreated up the path, the
jackdaw Vladimir hovering over his head.
Slava remained silent,
but his hand reached inside of his jacket and Fyodor cringed at the thought of
what it would extract. He never liked guns, was fearful of them-even when his
stepfather went hunting he preferred to stay behind and never looked at the
glassy-eyed birds and rabbits he brought back. Now, he imagined his own eyes
turning into expressionless glass marbles, clouded with death.
Oksana, now between him and the thugs, got to her
feet. She spat out snow and whistled to the bear, redirecting its slow
shambling attack. Fyodor thought that it was getting embarrassing; it was the
only reason why he ignored the glint in Slava hand and instead charged him.
He was too far and the path was too slippery. Slava
saw him move and raised the gun. His gray eyes squinted, aiming a heavy
long-nosed Luger at Fyodor. The bear moved closer and Slava hesitated and
changed aim, as his bodyguards stepped off the porch and walked toward Fyodor.
A shot rang out and the bear tottered and fell apart.
The rats scattered, leaving one writhing and spraying blood onto the
blue-streaked snow. Oksana cried out and fell to her knees to pick up the
injured rat. She cradled it in her hands, oblivious to the danger.
Fyodor took an awkward swing at the thug who'd reached
him first, but the man just waved Fyodor's hand off, as one would a fly, and
his round rubbery fist slammed into Fyodor's jaw, dislodging something
important and filling his mouth with salty blood. He staggered backward a bit
but remained standing, watching the blood drip from his lips, searing small
black-cherry red craters into the packed snow of the path.
The other thug stepped forth-there was no hurry in his
movements, as if he were going to take his sweet time beating the trespasser.
Fyodor found himself sympathizing with the thug-how often did this man have an
opportunity to pummel someone in peace, in the middle of the snow-covered
forest at sundown, where there was no risk of interruption or discovery? At the
very least, their attention was diverted from Oksana. Even Slava put his Luger
away and watched the beating.
Another punch, and out of the corner of his swelling
eye Fyodor saw a streak of motion-a dark blur in the blue twilight, and
realized that Oksana lunged for Slava. She knocked him off balance, and the two
of them tumbled into the cabin. The last thing Fyodor saw was Slava pushing
Oksana away from him with one hand, and reaching into his jacket with the
other.
Fyodor strained to follow them, but two thugs cut off
his route, reluctant to let go of their forbidden amusement, like a bulldog
with an imported leather shoe. One of the thugs grabbed his coat at the chest
to hold Fyodor up, and the other deposited slow, methodical blows to the face
and sternum, calculated to inflict the maximum amount of pain and remorse for
ever having tangled with Slava's goons.
The blows stopped and Fyodor looked up out of his one
working eye, waiting for the inevitable sounds of Oksana's scream and a gun
shot. Instead, there was a flapping of wings and birds poured into the darkened
air, coming seemingly from everywhere-the windows and doors of the cabin, from
between the clouds, even flying up from among the rats that ran on the ground.
Fyodor was let go, and his knees buckled; he dipped,
staggered but stood up, as the air churned around him, black with wings and
eyes and beaks. There were reptilian clawed feet touching his face and hands,
there were soft-as-butter feathers of owls brushing against his bruised and
swollen face. Rats climbed up his trousers and sleeves, seeking protection from
the air that suddenly became a whirlwind of predators.
Neither the crows nor the owls showed much interest in
the rats-instead, they landed on the
trees, the path, the roof of the cabin. There were hundreds
of them, and the thugs stared at them, open-mouthed, not yet sure if it was to
be their reckoning-if all the people they had turned into birds by their
slow-witted, cruel magic had come back to exact revenge.
Fyodor used their consternation to break away and to
run to the cabin, muttering, “God please let her be alive” with his split and
bleeding lips that stung in the cold air. The cabin was darker than the
outside, and he couldn't see a thing; he blundered inside blindly and
immediately stepped on something soft and bumped his elbow against something
hard.
"Oksana?” he called into the darkness.
"In here,” she replied, her voice surprisingly
calm. “Just wait a second and let your eyes get used to the darkness."
Slowly, like a photograph in a vat of developer, the
inside came into focus, black and grey in the darkness. He discerned
Oksana-unharmed, thank God-standing by the wall; the soft thing by his feet was
Slava, alive but lying prostrate on the floor, with the barrel of a shotgun
pressed against the nape of his neck; Elena was the one holding the shotgun.
She shot Fyodor a friendly smile that flashed white in the darkness. “Hi,” she
whispered. “How many of the others are outside?"
"Just two,” Fyodor said. “And a
shitload of birds."
He squinted into the darkness, and as his eyes
adjusted to the twilight he realized that the fourth wall of the cabin had been
subsumed by a gray fog that stretched somewhere far, into unimaginable
dimensions. The swirling fog cleared and condensed again, allowing him only
brief glimpses of the shadowy figures inside of it.
He stared into the fog as one would into a snow
globe-the concerns about the thugs and the questions about Elena's unexpected
presence melted away, leaving him charmed, entranced by the unfolding
spectacle. The figures inside appeared distorted, as if one was looking through
a soap bubble, but he recognized their long gray coats and the red stars on
their hats, their military boots striking the ground in unison-the legendary
First Cavalry, the product of propaganda and folklore in equal proportions;
they passed through the bubble, each of their faces briefly magnified and
distorted, and disappeared again into the fog.
Fyodor felt his throat tighten as he realized that he
was not seeing real people but an entire epoch passing into realms unknown-all
his childhood heroes, all the revolutionary soldiers he had been conditioned to
admire as a child became irrelevant and disappeared into the mist. They did not
look at him as they passed-perhaps they couldn't see him-but stared straight
ahead. Their horses followed, with a subdued clip-clopping of shod hooves,
their heads lowered, their eyes pensive, all of them bays with a white star on
the forehead.
The vision passed, and the fog swirled again.
"What was it?” he whispered to Elena.
She shrugged, never letting go of the shotgun's stock.
“Another era has moved underground."
"But those were not real live people."
"Of course not. They were symbols. Now, if you're done with asking
irrelevant questions, will you give me a hand?"
He shook his head and winced-every movement resonated
with a sharp pain in his skull.
“What do you
need?"
"The two men outside,” she reminded him. “See if
the birds are done with them."
He peeked through the doorway. It was completely dark
now, but on the snow he saw two large dark spots, motionless and bulky like two
beached whales. “Yes,” he said.
"Good.” Elena moved the shotgun away from Slava's
neck, and motioned for him to stand and move against the wall. “Now, let's get
this thing over with."
The walls of the cabin dissolved in a mild yellow
radiance around them-Fyodor felt like the four of them stood on a stage, the
audience hidden from them by the glare of footlights. But he could feel their
presence in the undifferentiated glow, he could hear
breathing and voices.
"All clear,” Elena called into the light. “Come
on out."
Koschey was the first to emerge, his lips pressed
close together in a habitual sour grimace of general disapproval of the state
of things. In his bony hands he held two feathers-one black and one white-with
the air of a stage magician.
"Bring out One-Eyed Likho,” Elena said to him. “I
don't want him underground."
"I'm pretty sure they don't want him on the
surface either,” Koschey said.
Elena shrugged, her milk-white shoulder dipping out
and back into her black dress. “I can live with that."
Oksana touched Fyodor's sleeve. “One-Eyed Likho,” she
whispered to him by way of explanation. “It was in here, talking to him.” She
pointed at Slava. “When it saw me it ran through the wall, but I guess they
intercepted it."
Koschey allowed a small satisfied grin to light his
hollow face. “It was quite convenient. Likho stole your friends’ luck, see? And
what is the worst luck if not running into Likho? They are practically designed
for attracting misfortune. Too bad for them, but here we are."
"Where are they? Galina and Yakov, I mean?”
Fyodor said.
"They're coming,” Koschey said. “Apart from loss
of luck they are all right."
Likho was the next to emerge from the glow-a
slavering, wild thing that cast about with its hungry single eye, and Fyodor
took an involuntary step back. It growled at him, so unlike the dry scratchy voice
he had heard previously. Likho strained and fought, but a rope around its neck,
held by several rusalki, kept him secured.
Yakov and Galina followed close behind. They both
smiled and nodded at Fyodor, and he smiled and nodded back, unsure of the protocol.
Were they his friends? Was he supposed to hug them or at least shake hands? He
decided to remain aloof, and just hung in the background listening to Elena
explain the situation to the new arrivals and introduce Slava to the gathering.
The white rook who sat on the Tatar-Mongol's shoulder squawked indignantly.
"All right then,” Elena said. “This is everyone.
What do you think, Koschey, what's first, the curse or the charm?"
"The curse,” Koschey replied and stuffed the
white feather into the pocket of his long black jacket. “Fun
stuff first."
He tossed the black feather at Slava; he
ducked but the feather followed him like a target-seeking missile. It attached
itself to Slava's head, and he cried out in pain as black, tar-like substance
oozed from the feather, spreading over his face and his now screaming mouth.
Likho watched the happenings with its single eye
burning. It swallowed often and looked around, as if searching for escape
routes, but as the tar kept pouring and dripping, forming long streaks like
melting candle wax, Likho's gaze focused on Slava, as it were drawn to him with
some inexplicable force.
The rusalki loosened the bonds, and Likho strained
toward Slava, now just an amorphous mass of tar. They let it go, and Likho
bounded to its victim, claws extended and mouth slavering. In one long low jump
Likho reached Slava, wrapped its scaly arms around him and clung, suddenly
submissive and content.
"What's happening?” Fyodor whispered.
"A curse,” Koschey explained. “Likho will stick
to him now. Whatever he attempts, he won't succeed."
"You're not going to kill him?” Fyodor asked.
Koschey turned to face him; in the twilight his cheeks
were dark hollows, and his eyes barely glistened from under the dark heavy
eyelids. “I'm not a merciful entity,” Koschey said. “They call me chthonic.
They call me Deathless, but death is my realm, and I want nothing to do with
his kind. Let him walk the earth forever, like accursed Cain with a red brand
on his face, let One-Eyed Likho follow him for all eternity."
"You're going leave this thing here?” Fyodor
said.
Koschey shrugged. “You heard the countess. Better you
than us."
"But I thought…"
"What you thought doesn't matter,” Elena
interrupted. “As long as you're on the surface, you're not a friend. You have
your problems, we have ours. You dumped enough corpses and spoiled magic
underground already. Let's see you deal with your own problems for a
while."
"She's not a benign entity either,” Koschey said,
and a shadow of affection snuck into his old brittle voice.
The tar had thickened around Likho, making it into a
shapeless lump-Slava looked like a hunchback, Likho just an ugly growth now.
The tar started to melt and soon was absorbed, leaving only a few unclean
stains and drips on the cabin floor.
Slava shook-shuddered, even, with
strong convulsing spasms. Likho
became just a bump on his back, smaller than before, but certainly disfiguring
and prominent enough to split open the maroon jacket along the seam. His gaze
cast wildly about, as if it were Likho looking out of his wide eyes.
"Go,” Koschey motioned. “Go and don't ever come
back to Kolomenskoe, or you'll regret it."
Slava hunched over, eyeing them all like a cornered
wolf. “I know where your death is,” he howled to Koschey, and bounded through the
lights into the surrounding darkness. There was a crunching of snow and a
snapping of branches, and Fyodor exhaled in relief.
Koschey sighed too. “Everyone knows
where my death is,” he said, addressing the direction of Slava's flight. “What
no one understands is that it doesn't matter."
"How do you mean?” Yakov said. He had remained
silent until then, his head cocked to one shoulder as if he was listening to
some distant whispers rather than the goings-on. “Why doesn't it matter? Aren't
you afraid that someone will find it?"
Koschey took the white feather out of his pocket.
“They can find it,” he said, “but they can't destroy it. How do you destroy a
negation?"
"Metaphysics,” Elena interrupted. “Come on, turn
the birds into people."
"Wait,” Galina said, anxious. “Are you sure they
are all there?"
"As sure as we're going to be,” Elena said. “The
mermaids and the First Cavalry scoured every corner and shooed them all
here."
"I thought you said they were symbols,” Fyodor
said.
Elena tossed her head impatiently, letting loose a
long serpentine coil of her smooth hair. “What does that have to do with their
ability to scare up birds?"
Koschey stepped to the lights that now burned
brighter. The white feather in his fingers trembled and stretched, shooting
long tendrils of blinding-white fog that stood against the darkness around the
cabin like the flares of the aurora borealis.
The birds, invisible in the black branches of the
trees, rose as one to meet the wrapping of the tendrils; the fog spread until
Fyodor saw nothing but white, and then he had to look away.
* * * *
When he looked back, he saw people like any others.
Their feathers turned into black and gray and brown clothes with only
occasional splashes of color. They looked around them as if waking from deep
sleep; Fyodor tried to imagine what was it like for them-were their lives as birds just vague ghosts now, things one remembers in a
dream? Did they wonder how they got there? And, most importantly, what was it
like, waking up back in one's body, and finding oneself in Kolomenskoe at the
very break of dawn?
He tried to imagine it now-their lives, their dreams.
They were just like everyone else; Fyodor thought about the time when
everything changed. He was glad then that he'd chosen to live in the streets,
painting the overly-expressive gypsies and sentimental landscapes, and not
having to deal with the shifting economic and political climate. He could
ignore the fearful glances of the people who suddenly felt that the very fabric
of reality had been yanked from under them as the oil industry became
privatized and classified ads bristled with scary and foreign job
titles-copywriter, realtor, and manager. The techy kids, marked from childhood
by their glasses and pasty complexion for the engineering careers, dropped out
of colleges and opened their own programming companies, while the engineers,
suddenly finding themselves on the brink of starvation, sold cigarettes through
the tiny clear plastic embrasures of the subway kiosks.
Fyodor remembered the conversation he had overheard in
the street once. Two men, both small, slender and
unremarkable-likely engineers or junior researchers-stopped by Fyodor's
paintings. Not to buy (he had a pretty good instinct in that regard) but to
stare at the inviting cloudless azure of the summer sky on one of the canvas.
"I have to take another job,” one of them said.
He looked the epitome of the Soviet engineer, a gray harmless creature, timid
to the point of invisibility. “Sveta wants to privatize the apartment, and
Grandma is ailing and her pension only pays for the fish for her cat."
"You can work for me,” his companion said. “You
can sell shawls-we have a joint venture with those folk-masters from Vologda.
Nice lace too."
"Sell?” his interlocutor repeated with a note of
candid fear in his voice. “I can't. I don't know how."
"There's nothing to know,” his friend reassured.
His distracted gaze slid over Fyodor as if he were as inanimate as one of his
paintings. “Easy; just hold those things up and be loud."
"I don't know how to be loud,” the presumed
engineer said, desperation edging into his voice.
As Fyodor watched the group of people outside, as they
looked at each other and shook their heads, trying to remember, and cried
silently, he realized what they had in common. The bird people were the ones
who did not know how to be loud, in any sense of the word-they only tried to
carry on as best they could, holding to the memory of a dignity that didn't
seem to be allowed in the new capitalist jungles that sprouted around them,
lush and suffocating and seductive but blocking the view of everything but
themselves. He felt acute pity for their voicelessness, for their inability to
adjust or to turn back time.
He watched as Galina and Fyodor stepped outside and
mingled with the crowd. Oksana nudged him. “Do you want to go to them?"
"Why?” Fyodor said. “What can I do?"
"It doesn't matter,” Oksana said. “Can't you see?
They need someone to tell them it's going to
be all right."
Fyodor followed her down the steps of the cabin, which
seemed to have reappeared from the dimmed lights, outlined anew against the
gray dawn sky. He promised himself never to go back to this place, to avoid
every memory of Peter the Great and his blasted cabin that harbored rather more
than he was willing to take on. He wondered if it was possible to simply forget
such things, and smiled to himself lopsidedly-his drinking would surely take
care of that, and who needed a liver anyway.
Oksana approached an older woman, her head covered by
a kerchief patterned in lurid red roses, a wide-mouthed handbag clutched in her
hand. Oksana whispered to the woman, and it must've been something soothing
because the woman's shoulders relaxed and her crooked fingers lost their
desperate bone whiteness.
Fyodor looked around until his gaze met that of a
middle-aged woman. During her ordeals her eye makeup had smudged, giving her a
battered, haunted look. Fyodor stepped closer, noticing the fresh stitches on
the seam of her light coat and her old-fashioned shoes with square toes and
heels and that orthopedic look one usually associated with much older women.
"I'm Fyodor,” Fyodor said. “Are you all
right?"
"I'm not sure,” the woman said. “What happened? I
was going to work, and…"
"Where do you work?” he asked.
"Biryulevo,” she said. “Meat-packing
plant. Where are we?"
"Kolomenskoe,” he said. “You'd have to take the
subway back."
"And a bus,” she said, looking
straight through him distractedly.
Still, he had a feeling that talking about routine matters grounded her.
"Route 162?” he asked.
She nodded. “There are a couple of new ones, too. What
am I doing here?"
"Don't you remember anything?” he said.
"I remember a man,” she answered. “The man who followed me to the plant. And then…” She ran
her hand over her face. “I had strange dreams-I dreamt of flying through the
water, through a dark black river, and white pale faces stared at me-and I
remember the city's rooftops-as if I were looking at them from the air."
"It sounds like a nice dream,” he said. “Do you
have anyone waiting for you at home?"
"Just my daughter, Darya,” the woman said and
smiled a little. “Good girl, very clever. Says she wants to be a mathematician.
Want to see her picture?"
"Sure,” Fyodor said and waited as the woman
rifled through her roomy handbag, shuffling combs, compact cases, coin purses,
plastic baggies, scented handkerchiefs and whatever other arcane objects female
bags of such size contained. He was surprised at how calm everyone appeared-no one
seemed to have gotten hysterical or distraught, like the woman before him. Her
movements seemed sluggish, as if she just awakened up from deep sleep (he
supposed she did), or if she deliberately avoided any thought that would make
her panic. He also thought that a crowd of people had to be reassuring, even if
she didn't remember how she got here. Out of the corner of his eye he saw some
of
the former birds take off down the path leading to the
exit, and he sighed with relief. They would get home and find some way to
explain the dreams and the missing time.
She finally fished out a small black and white picture
mounted on cardboard and covered with a clear polyethylene sheet, taped at the
edges. The girl in the picture appeared utterly unremarkable, but Fyodor nodded
and made an appreciative noise. “Cute kid,” he said. “Listen, maybe you should
head home, to tell her you're all right? She must be worried sick."
The woman looked around her, perplexed. “It's
winter?"
"No,” he said. “Still October.
Just a really fucked up one."
He heard Galina's voice calling out, “Masha,
Masha!"
"Excuse me,” he said to the woman. “Let me see
what's going on there."
She nodded, already looking after the people heading
down the path. “Don't worry about me. The subway must be open already, so I
better go. Beat the rush hour.” She smiled. “Thanks for stopping to talk to
me."
"My pleasure,” he said, and turned to see Galina,
panicked now, running from one cluster of people to the next. She looked
anxiously into women's faces, grabbed sleeves. Yakov followed behind her.
Fyodor caught up to them. “What's going on?"
Galina mopped her sleeve at her tear-filled eyes.
“Masha…” she whispered, all fire gone out of her. “My sister.
She isn't here."
19: Masha
The silent park came alive with the chirping of birds
as the sun's first rays filtered through the naked black tree branches that
stood against the watercolor-pale sky. Galina listened to the sounds
absentmindedly-these were small ordinary birds, tits and nuthatches and wrens.
She heard the cawing of crows off in the distance, but no Masha. She snuggled
into the snow, finally exhausted, and hugged her knees to her chest. Everything
had been useless. The transformation of birds back, hundreds that went home to
their families-just now, before her very eyes-did not matter. Masha was not
here, and everything was pointless. She couldn't fathom returning home, and she
thought with indifference that she could freeze to death, die here in the snow,
and it would be as fitting an end as any.
Yakov sat down next to her. Her heart fluttered for a
moment when she saw a bird in his hand, and slowed down just as quickly-the
bird was an ordinary crow, who cawed at Yakov
demandingly.
"Imagine that,” he said by the way of explanation.
“This crow was the only real one in the whole bunch-my Carl."
"Your pet,” she
remembered.
He didn't argue. “I'm so sorry,” he said. “Elena said
they would search underground once more."
"What's the use?” she said. “The charm is gone,
and Alkonost has no more feathers to give."
"Koschey…” Yakov started.
"Can't do anything without the feathers,” she
concluded, determined to wallow in her misery with as much abandon as she could
muster in this low-spirited moment. “And how do you know she wasn't on this
side, somewhere?"
Yakov remained silent, his fingers caressing the
crow's shining black head absentmindedly. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I know how it
feels-but really, you shouldn't sit in the snow, you'll freeze."
"That'd be just fine,” Galina said darkly, but
couldn't help but feel ridiculous and small, and her eyes grew hot again with
unbidden tears.
"Come on,” Yakov said and nudged her to get up.
“It's warmer in the cabin."
Galina sighed and followed him inside.
Elena smiled at her, but stopped once she noticed
Galina's face. Elena gave her a quick warm hug. “I so wish I had some tea
here,” she said.
Galina nodded. “Tea would be nice."
Oksana, Yakov, Fyodor and Koschey stared at them, and
Elena wrapped her arm around Galina's shoulders and turned her to face the
window, their backs to the others. “Don't pay attention to them,” she
whispered. “They mean well, but they don't know what to say. Frankly, neither
do I."
"Where's Zemun?” Galina said. “And
Timur-Bey?"
Elena waved her hand. “Underground. You can come back
with me, if you want. It's not so bad there, and you can forget things you want
to forget. If it's especially bad, you can always give it to the boatman."
"I know,” Galina said. “Yakov met him; he didn't
seem too happy."
Elena shrugged. “It's funny how it goes. But the
boatman, he can help you, really. And it is-quiet.
It'll be quieter still with Likho and Zlyden gone. We can drink tea and talk
all day."
Galina nodded. “It sounds nice.” Better than the
alternative, she thought. She remembered the story of Sirin, of the power of
her voice to lull people into quiet contentment that was worse than death-at
least, so the stories went, but they never explained why it was so bad. The
heroes were meant to struggle and persevere, to fight, to
not give in. But after the fight was done and one still lost, why not let the
contentment take over? There was nothing for her on
the surface.
She heard Yakov and Fyodor murmuring behind them, and
turned to see what was going on. She had decided to abandon hope because hope
would only hurt more, but she couldn't help it.
Fyodor was showing Yakov and Koschey a jackdaw, and
Sergey, still in the body of the white rook, looked on skeptically. Galina's
heart squeezed in a painful spasm.
"No,” Fyodor said quickly. “It's not your sister,
sorry. It's that guy, Vladimir-or rather his soul, see? It was in another one
of those glass spheres, Oksana's rat stole it from Slava-so we jammed it into
the jackdaw. Koschey said that he might be able to bring Sergey back, so I
thought maybe he'd help Vladimir."
Vladimir the jackdaw gave a strained squawk. “Are you
really Koschey the Deathless?” he asked Koschey.
"Really,” Koschey said. “And yes, I
might be able to help you, only I would need a suitable body."
Yakov and Fyodor exchanged looks.
"What?” Koschey said. “I can't make something out
of nothing. Soul-trading is one thing, but making bodies out of thin air is an
entirely too metaphysical a proposition."
"But those birds…” Yakov started.
"Those people were turned into birds by a magic I
don't have,” Koschey said. “I reversed it. But how do you suppose I could make
a human body out of a glass sphere, or a stupid jackdaw? Haven't you idiots
ever heard of conservation of mass?"
Yakov and Fyodor nodded, silent like guilty children.
"Let's take a look at what you've wrought with
this jackdaw here then,” said Koschey, and took the jackdaw from Fyodor's
hands. “Uh-huh-wait… what is this?"
"What is what?” Oksana said. “Did we do something
wrong?"
"You mean, besides ramming a glass sphere down an
unsuspecting bird's beak?” Koschey scoffed. “Yes, actually you did. This
bird-this is one of those cursed ones."
"Why didn't it turn back to human then?” Yakov
said.
"Because you stuck another soul into it,” Koschey
said. “Fucking amateurs.” He studied the jackdaw for
some time, and finally turned to Galina. When he spoke, his voice was careful,
calculated. “Darling,” he said. “I have good news and bad news for you."
Galina swallowed with a dry throat, the sound of blood
in her ears deafening. Through its roar, she barely discerned Koschey's words.
"The good news,” he said, “is that I think we've
found your little sister."
* * * *
Galina remembered the time Masha had run away from
home. Unlike most children who come back around dinner time, Masha had kept
walking; the police apprehended her ten miles away from their home, well beyond
the circular highway that surrounded the city like a snake swallowing its own
tail and gagging on its own noxious exhalations of gasoline and tar heated by
the sun. When the policeman brought Masha home, her dress-pink roses on
pale-yellow background-smelled of gas and exhaust, and she could not provide a
cogent answer to the grownups’ questions-why? What were you trying to do?-and
just stared past the worried faces of their mother and grandmother. And only
when they left her alone and Galina asked her the same thing, she shrugged. “I
don't know. I just wanted to be away."
"Aren't you happy here, with us?"
"I am.” Masha smiled, her usual sunny disposition
returning. “I just wanted to see where else could I be happy."
Where else indeed. Even her rebellion was good-natured, not a denial but
an attempt to affirm more, to embrace more of the world. Galina envied that
capacity for love-when she had run away as a child, she had come home before
dinner, after wandering through the neighborhood streets and indulging in the
fantasy of her mother's grief and remorse until she grew tired and hungry; past
that point, her sullen indignation could not sustain her. Masha taught her that
love and curiosity was a more enduring force.
She looked at the jackdaw sitting in Koschey's palm.
“What's going to happen?” the jackdaw said. “To me, I
mean-Vladimir."
"We'll have to find you another vessel,” Koschey
answered. “I fear that we only have some rats available."
Vladimir did not look thrilled. “A
rat?"
"Don't worry,” Fyodor said. “I'm sure we'll find
you something more suitable underground. Maybe a rook, like
Sergey."
"I don't want to go underground,” Vladimir said.
"Neither do I,” Sergey
confirmed.
"Well, it doesn't look like you have a choice
now, does it?” Elena said. “Unless you want to stay here-but you know what they
say about white crows. Besides, underground there are no cats, except
Bayun."
Galina heaved a sigh. “What about my sister?” she
said. “Does it mean she will stay a bird forever?"
Koschey shrugged. “That's my bad news, dear. I can't
turn her back, but I can transfer her soul into another woman's body-if you can
find one, that is."
"You mean for her to live someone will have to
die?” she said. The idea did not seem monstrous to her-after all, just a few
minutes ago she contemplated freezing to death. Petulance was not enough to
compel her. But love…?
"No,” Koschey said. “Not die, exactly. Just trade
places with her, become a bird."
"Like these two?” Galina pointed at Sergey and
Vladimir.
"Not quite,” Koschey said. “They
act human because their souls are separated from birds’ bodies, wrapped into
glass. They are like hands inside puppets-they animate them, but they are not
the same. Without the protection of glass, the human soul will become a bird's
soul."
Galina nodded. “I'll trade with her,” she said. “Gladly."
Elena shot her a worried look. “Galina-do you think
this is really a good idea?"
Galina smiled. “This is the best idea I ever had. Just
let me tell her something, while I can still talk."
Koschey grasped the bird and extracted the glass
marble with Vladimir's soul from the bird's crop. Galina cringed at the
unceremonious manhandling of her sister, and looked away. She only looked when
the green glass sphere lay secure in Koschey's narrow palm, ridges of bone
running parallel along it like barrel staves.
Galina cradled the jackdaw in her palms, carefully as
if it were a fragile Christmas ornament. The jackdaw looked at her sideways,
its head tilted, its expression roguish. Galina stepped outside.
"Listen,” she said to the jackdaw, “when you
remember all this-and you must, you must-please don't feel bad. Sure, this body
is older than your own, but this is the best I can do. Remember-you have a
baby, and mom is your responsibility now. Don't tell her what happened. Just be
yourself."
She looked at the naked trees, delicate and yet stark
against the sky like a painting. She searched for words to explain to the
carefully listening bird. “She won't like you at first, but soon enough she'll
realize that you aren't me. Just do what you always do. I wish I could make it
easier, I wish you could come back to things like they used to be. You'll be a
spinster aunt to your child, but it is better than not being there at all. And
your husband will come back from the army and grieve for you, and you won't be
able to tell him the truth, no matter how much it rips you up-just like that
story, remember? No signs, no telling about the curse, or they'll lock you up
and you won't like it. I leave you with my liabilities.
"But also, my advantages. You have a job-you'll just have to brush up on your
English, and Velikanov will forgive you for missing work, and he'll cut you
every break. Maybe you'll even like him.
"But most of all, remember this: I will try and
visit you sometime. I don't know what it's like, being a jackdaw, I don't know
if I would even remember, but if I can hold onto anything, I will hold onto
this. And one thing I'm asking of you: remember that you had a sister once, a
sister who loved you more than forty thousand brothers."
Galina swallowed and thought of something else to say.
She wanted to talk about love and how strong it was, about how Masha ran away
all these years ago and surely, if it was strong
enough to take her away it was strong enough to bring her back. She wanted to
tell her to be kind to their mother even though she wouldn't be kind in
return-not at first at least, not while she still thought that the woman in
Galina's body was Galina, the same damaged creature. But Masha knew all that
already, and if anyone could win their mother over, it was her.
Galina returned to the cabin, the jackdaw perched on
her wrist. “We're ready,” she told Koschey. “Just let me say my goodbyes."
Yakov nodded at her awkwardly.
"What are you going to do?” Galina
said.
He made a face. “I'm not going back underground,
that's for sure."
"What about your grandfather?"
"I'll send him a note, I guess,” Yakov said. “But
my mother-she needs me more than he does. And there are things I need to take
care of here."
Normally, Galina wouldn't pry; but right now coyness
seemed superfluous. “What things?” she asked.
He jerked his shoulders, making the crow that perched
there flap its wings and caw. “I want to talk to my ex-wife, for one. I need to
know what happened-do you ever think that there are people you should've been
kinder to?"
Galina nodded.
"Same with my ex,” he said. “There are things we
need to talk about."
"Good luck,” Galina said.
"Same to you,” he said. “It's really nice, what
you're doing for your sister."
She was grateful that he didn't argue with her
decision. “Thanks,” she said. “Good luck on the surface."
"I'm staying underground,” Fyodor said. “It's
much nicer there."
"Yes,” Oksana added. “I only came to the surface
to help, but I can't wait to get back-Sovin will be so mad at me that I got one
of his rats killed."
"It could've been more than one,” Galina said.
“You did well. Thanks for helping."
Oksana shrugged. “I suppose."
Timur-Bey didn't say much and just shook her hand.
"I'll be seeing you around the underground then,”
she said, and turned to Elena. “And you too."
Elena pouted a bit. “That's not what I meant. But
you're welcome to stop by any time-even though jackdaws are poor
conversationalists."
Galina was flattered by the disappointment so evident
in Elena's voice. “I'm glad to have met you,” she said. “I really would've
liked to be friends with you."
After that, there wasn't much else to say and she
looked to Koschey. “I'm ready, I guess."
"I haven't done this one in a while,” he said.
“It's not at all like putting one's death into a needle."
Galina wanted to ask what was the difference between a
soul and a death and how did he learn to do these things, and what was his
relationship to Baba Yaga. But there were too many questions-she would never
ask them all, and now was her last chance. It seemed better to descend into
silence without asking them. Let Masha figure out these
things.
"Here we go,” Koschey said.
He ordered Galina to stand still while looking into
the eyes of the bird perched on her wrist. Out of the corner of her eye she
could see Koschey plucking thin translucent threads of magic from the air,
weaving them together. She felt a nudge form within, a momentary vertigo, as if
she were falling into a well. The jackdaw's eye became black and huge in front
of her face, like a black moon, like a starless sky, like the bottom of a well.
The giant eye shrunk into a pupil, and was now
surrounded with a hazel iris, crosshatched with golden and brown streaks. As
she pulled away, her field of vision widened to the view of a pale face with
blue smudges of shadow under tired, heavy-lidded eyes and a bloodless,
tormented mouth. It took her a while to realize that the face she was looking
into was hers.
The woman's eyes focused, and her mouth opened in the
expression of childlike surprise and wonder. “Galka?” she whispered.
"Yes, Masha, it is me,”
she wanted to answer, but her mouth-her beak, made of hard bone and horn-opened
in a loud, jubilant squawk.
It is me, the jackdaw Galina cried, and this is you,
and oh God, I'm so happy to have found you. I'm sorry it is not as perfect as I
wanted it to be. Go now, go, hold your child, tell Mom
that it'll be all right, visit grandma in the hospital. Just go, just go.
She felt restless itching in her arms (wings), and she
spread them wide. She circled the cabin, faces of people around her barely
registering, until she found the open door and flew outside. There were other
birds there, but there would be time for them later, and she circled over the
cabin, rising higher and higher into the air.
She saw a woman and a man, both
looking familiar-the woman tall and hunched and pale, the man squat and
blocky-exit the cabin and walk down the path. As she rose higher into the sky,
they became two black dots slowly traversing the great powdery whiteness below,
the black tree branches weaving a delicate net above them. The river, still
free of ice, snaked in its wintry desolate blackness between its white banks,
and a white church stood almost invisible on a white snow-covered slope, only
its onion roof golden with captured sunshine.
She spiraled downward, to take another look at the
small wooden cabin tucked away in the very heart of the park, and watched a
tall, skeletal man exit the cabin and crane his neck, shielding his eyes from
the sun. A woman in a black velvet dress holding a shotgun stood next to him,
watching Galina like he did.
She also saw a small gypsy girl, surrounded by an army
of rats, make her way to the river; a tall lanky guy followed her, not quite
with her, not quite separate. They sat on the bank,
the rats spread around them like a living blanket, and watched the smooth river
surface.
Deep inside the jackdaw knew that sometime soon she
would find those people again, follow them by flying through an imaginary
window or a reflection of a doorway in a rain puddle; a part of her had an
inkling of other birds underground, and a fond memory of a white cow glowing
with warm bluish light and spilling stars like milk. But not yet-she had things
to attend to here, on the surface, first.
She rose high enough to see the streets beyond the
park, animated with a slow churning of crowds and smells of fire and exhaust;
she saw the squat tomb of the subway station and its
slow
disgorging and consumption of the dark throngs. There was
ringing of trams and heavy sighs of the kneeling buses that carried tourists
and honking of automobile horns; there were smells of fresh bread and beer and
ash.
She headed north-west, where more golden domes lit up
under the sun, and the clock on the Spasskaya Tower announced the time with
deep hollow beats; she circled over the Tsar-Bell and Tsar-Cannon, both blue
with patina and gigantic, ludicrous in their excess. Her wings clipped the air
into even, turgid fragments as she swooped down over Red Square and the blue
spruces by the Mausoleum, as she flew over the river again, perching for a rest
on the guardrails of the humpbacked, ornate bridge. She circled over the New
Arbat and took a cursory swoop down Gazetniy Pereulok.
There was a sense of significance to her flight, as
she remembered that these places were important somehow. But her human memory
was receding already, leaving behind only the keen intelligence and the cunning
instinct of a bird. Only a few images lingered behind, and in her mind's eye
she saw the tall woman walking through the snow-covered park, the woman with
hazel eyes and bewildered frown. Galina did not remember how or why that woman
was important, but she thought about her with the warm regard one afforded to
kin.
"She's going to be all right,” the jackdaw
thought. And that was all that mattered.